#sarah zedig

[dcmcboxers]

My shout-out to queer youtubers

Hbombs list was great but obviously not comprehensive. I watch a lot of video essayists and wanted to give a little love to the smaller channels that fall under the radar. Please feel free to add to this list!

let's talk about stuff/Sarah Zedig

If you've seen Jesse Gender's videos on the Matrix movies you may already be familiar with Sarah. She does excellent film and culture analysis with a lot of great conversations on paratext and outside influence in engaging with text. Her video on Tunic is one of my favorites.

Pamphleteer

No one makes videos like hers, which has the side effect making them a bit hard to describe. I will link one of my favorites which describes the disconnected temporality of being older when you discover you're queer.

Turbo Queer

Really really under watched channel. Skylar covers a lot of topics from video games, to anarchist history and modern events, to autistic life, to current politics. For a fun one check out her video on the SpongeBob strike episode.

Kaz Rowe

Kaz does a fantastic job examining modern myths and manufactured history primarily pertaining to western Europe, Victorian & Edwardian England, and 1800-1900s US. And of course, talking about historical queerness in all its ambiguities and evolutions. I highly recommend their video on Weimar Germany.

drapetomania

drapetomania interrogates the politics of low class and high class art and entertainment from a queer and Black perspective. Their art history videos alone cover many angles of white supremacist history I haven't seen anyone else discuss and I'm very excited to see more from them. They are also a very under viewed channel that more people should see!

I am error

Evelynn's channel primarily discusses video games in a presentation style and voice most similar to Action Button reviews. There's something just a bit more personal here though. I hesitate to say cozy since that word has a bit of an infantilizing connotation, maybe comforting is closer. She puts an immense amount of thought and empathy into the experience of playing video games and the personal narratives we build with them.

Swolesome

For more transmasc perspectives there's Swolesome. He has a lot of interesting insights into the more traditionally masculine and "broish" communities like fitness as well as commentary on recent trans issues.

Shonalika

Music, disability, and aggressively non-binary. Their video on gender presentation in heavy metal was really insightful. I would also check out the video "Why I Wear Gloves" for more insight on invisible disabilities.

Vivian Strange

Vivian delights in being a bit of a contrarian- something I really appreciate. She's probably going to challenge you and you're probably going to disagree at times, which is what makes her channel so important. Her video on Marquis De Sade is powerful and a must watch (if you can stomach the subject material, although I would encourage you to try). I haven't seen her most recent video on Saw yet but I am extremely excited to.

[hms-no-fun]

A FILM BUFF EXPOSES HER SHAME

come watch my new video about all the movies i haven't seen! we talk about blind buys, criterion sales, lying in film school, and the purpose of rewatching movies. perhaps you may even learn about some movies you haven't seen too!

[davekat-sucks]

Its disgusting how Sarah Zedig still seems to think Tavros is a chaser and will defend Vriska at all costs and victim blame Tavros and somhow is still considered a "popular" respected figure in the community. I have even seen one person once say that constantly and when they finally got called out they started to say it was a "joke" even if they kept getting into arguments over it and constantly defending Vriska and people like Zedig go around and spread this fucked up interpretation and try to defend it and to this day, she still claims that Tavros is a "chaser" and she doesnt seem to realized how wrong and possibly even harmful going around claiming that stuff (and how in the past she posted tweets that sounded aggressive about

"some folks think homestuck did tavros and gamzee dirty and that this is a fatal flaw in the text; when i countenance these people, i am convinced we read two very different comics. who’s right and who’s wrong? there are degrees. i can pull out any number of quotes from andrew hussie about the importance of vriska and the weenieness of tavros, but then, authors love to say things, and there’s plenty of stories i love in ways that directly oppose to the authors’ stated intent." - Sarah Zedig on hms-no-fun, march 6th 2024

"tavros and aradia sprites looking good, but damn the boy likers out there really gotta chill the fuck out and remember what comic they're a fan of"

2. "how do you read all eight thousand pages of homestuck and come away thinking "actually men are the real victims" "

3. "i cannot imagine it has anything to do with misogyny or transphobia, internalized or otherwise. that would be ridiculous"

-Three tweets from Sarah Zedig from thirty november 2019 (remember that shes the one who wrote Terezi pesterquest route)

Im sorry if I sound mad or heated up this blog is one of the few places where it seems that people have common sense and also people on the community tend to usually not talk about the other people that are just as responsible as Kate is for the awful things that post canon brought to Homestuck and how tiring it is to hear people trying to make Vriska into an angel and try to make Tavros looks like hes an horrible person who doesnt deserve sympathy and deserves to be blamed and harassed.

This bitch would unironically agree with Kate Mitchell. Ever since Pesterquest, people have taken it too seriously as canon despite it's similar to HS2/Beyond Canon that it is dubious or locked out from the main story. Most of the members in the WhatPumpkin team are full of bad influencers. Some worse than others. I want more to acknowledge that there are some shitty people within the group.

[vidreview]

VIDEO ESSAY ROUNDUP #3

[originally posted december 21st 2023]

here we are again! i've had most of this roundup queued for a while and just haven't had time to finish it, so the entries here aren't necessarily super recent. but they're still quite worth your time! so let's just jump right in.

"The Gaming Industry, Gambling, and Addiction" by GC Vasquez.

in the previous roundup i highlighted Jimmy McGee's series on the video game industry's ties to gambling. GC Vasquez has made what i think is an excellent spiritual companion to those videos, in that it approaches the same material from a decidedly personal place. the fact that the primary expected model for turning a consistent profit in the games industry (at least as far as companies like Unity are concerned, with the c-suite insisting that you'd be "fucking idiots" for doing anything else) involves pushing microtransaction gacha mechanics into every nook and cranny really cannot be criticized enough. but i think, even more pressingly, GC Vasquez points out that games have always included fictional gambling in the form of slot machines, poker tables, roulette wheels, etc, and that this demonstrably conditions kids to develop gambling addictions. on a lighter note, his video about why replay value in games doesn't matter as much as we think it does is one of those "finally someone put it into words" type essays.

"The Lost Majora's Mask Notebook | New Zelda Info" by The Hyrule Journals.

there are plenty of folks out there doing Zelda lore and history videos, but no one's got the stuff quite like The Hyrule Journals. Their documentary Line By Line, tracing the history of Majora's Mask's English translation by talking extensively to the guy who did the translation, is an excellent work of games journalism that revealed a lot of information previously unknown to me. The Lost Majora's Mask Notebook is a followup to that doc, sharing insights gained from the translator's own notebook kept during the translation process. it's cool! i would not call this A Great Video Essay necessarily but it's a good excuse to recommend an underrated channel.

"SEND IN THE CLOWN: a people's joker review" by let's talk about stuff.

oh this is a pretty cheeky inclusion, huh? one of my own videos? that's right, you got me: the whole VIDREV operation was just a shell game to goose my viewership numbers all along. the video is exactly what it says on the tin: a review of Vera Drew's incredible trans coming of age story / Batman parody film The People's Joker. i talk a fair amount in the back half about the novel ways this film got me questioning the cultural purpose of copyright and IP law, which is itself a strand of thought that began in my TUNIC review. if it seems like i'm always plugging my TUNIC review it's because i'm really proud of my TUNIC review and i would like for more people to watch it ("it" being my TUNIC review). anyway, The People's Joker is relevant now with the recent news that the film will be seeing wider distribution in the states come April 2024! so look forward to that, and to me undoubtedly plugging my People's Joker review yet again.

THE "DOESN'T NEED THE HELP" ZONE is kind of silly this time around since most of what i have to recommend is from channels that are doing relatively alright. my criteria for the distinction between does/doesn't need the help mostly comes down to vibes and subscriber count. if a channel has more than 100k subs, that to my mind means they don't need the help. this is not to insinuate that 100k+ creators are rich! youtube is a fickle mistress and everyone's revenue model looks different. i try to give precedence to folks below the 30k range, because that's where my channel's at and, coincidentally, where i tend to find the most interesting underrated creators. is it totally corrupt to put my own work in the implicitly-needs-the-help zone? call me out in the comments if you think this is a gross abuse of power.

"Playing Minecraft and Losing My Apartment" by Leadhead.

Leadhead has some great stuff, but this one hit me where it hurts. it's a video about escaping into the artificial goals of a video game at a time when personal disruption and chaos wrenches all sense of control over your own life away. i went through a pretty traumatic eviction myself back in 2021, and found myself totally incapable of making art about it. really nice to see someone else picking up that slack!

"Transition Regret & the Fascism of Endings" by Lily Alexandre.

another in a long line of bangers from Lily Alexandre, about how complicated it is to have mixed feelings on your own transition at a time when anyone expressing such emotions has their story weaponized against the rights of trans people everywhere. a lot of trans women in my life started HRT around 2017-18, and i've noticed a trend of folks in that cohort (myself included) trying to reclaim aspects of their masculinity from a safe distance by playing more with pronouns and presentation. i expect we'll be seeing a lot more videos about this in the years to come, and i can't wait! also: Lily Alexandre has some of the prettiest compositions in the whole video essay game. seriously, her color coordination and framing choices (and use of nonstandard aspect ratios!!!) are subtly artful in a way you really don't see very often on youtube.

"Should We Get Rid of Sex Scenes? (Part I)" by Broey Deschanel.

uh-oh, this one's a Nebula exclusive!!! i haven't really talked about Nebula on here yet, but suffice it to say it's an extremely important development in the business of online video. especially in this case, a video about sex scenes in Hollywood that quite literally could not exist on youtube under its current content guidelines! Broey Deschanel is a lot of fun to watch and makes some really great observations here. if you've got Nebula, it's well worth your time!

"Stop using Fandom" by mossbag.

if you have spent any amount of time in fandom (lowercase-f) spaces, you'll no doubt be well acquainted with how terrible Fandom (uppercase-f) is as a company and a product. this video digs deep into how scummy they are about filling wikis with intrusive ads, making alterations at the behest of private companies without consulting the people who manage said wikis, and their refusal to remove the wikis of any property whose community decides to migrate to another platform. one gripe i have with Fandom that didn't get mentioned is their outright ban on outbound links, which functionally murders any genuine archival usefulness a wiki might otherwise have. everything has to be in-fiction, which is just such a backwards and pointless way of doing things. they are systematically opposed to preserving community history and have no interest in fandom except as a money hungry middle-man between fans and IP owners. i highly recommend installing Indie Wiki Buddy on your browser so that you can avoid Fandom wikis like the plague they are.

"Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History" by Defunctland.

hey, did Kevin Perjurer just reinvent video essays? well… no, not really. but what he and his collaborators have accomplished here is a fascinating, impressive, and deeply odd intervention on the format which mixes archival footage, live recreations, and a "read along at home" written component to create an essay totally unlike anything i've seen before. honestly i really hope more essayists include supplemental written material in the future, especially with longer works where maybe not everything needs to be on screen! anyway, Journey to EPCOT is such a wild ambitious swing, and while i'm not totally convinced that it completely works i still have to applaud the audacity of the attempt. definitely requires a level of active participation that is well above average for youtube, not something you put on in the background if you actually want to learn anything from it, but definitely worth the effort.

"I kissed nuclear waste to prove a point" by Kyle Hill.

Kyle Hill is an educator on nuclear energy, and while i find a lot of his sillier videos a bit grating, i have nothing but praise for his work on historic nuclear disasters and the present day state of nuclear energy. it really can't be overstated how directly our general distrust of nuclear energy was kickstarted by fossil fuel companies, or how unambiguously illiterate the wider public is when it comes to the management of nuclear power plants and the disposal of nuclear waste. Kyle Hill here does a great job explaining just how unbelievably safe the whole operation is when it's well-funded and well-regulated, and stresses the inarguable fact that there's no source of green energy safer, more plentiful, or more efficient than nuclear. windmills and solar panels have their uses, but they will never be sufficient in reducing our reliance on fossil fuels if they're the only energy infrastructure we invest in at scale. and electric vehicles? oh man. the EV push as it stands is set up to be a grand historic embarrassment of catastrophic proportions. let's be good capitalists and set aside the rampant human rights violations and immense environmental impacts of rare-earth mining. the emissions from having to put down fresh asphalt more frequently due to the increased average weight of electric vehicles wearing roads down faster alone will outweigh virtually every gain from an electrified vehicle fleet, if electrifying the fleet is the only transportation infrastructure we invest in at scale.

there is simply no path forward to liberating the world from its reliance on fossil fuels that does not involve massive investment into building nuclear power plants and reducing our reliance on individual vehicles by exponentially expanding the reach of mass public transit. anything less than that is a laughable half measure whose most prominent boosters are, without a doubt, paid by fossil fuel companies to always be boosting. this is why i find Kyle Hill's work so impressive and refreshing. he talks quite a lot about nuclear disasters, but goes to great lengths to highlight that the fault lies in lack of funding, lax security protocols, and greedy parties preventing proper management, and that even with these horror stories at hand, fewer people have died from accidental nuclear exposure in history than get exposed to carcinogenic discharges from fossil fuel products every day and OOPS SORRY I'M SOAPBOXING it's a good video you should watch it

"What Happened To Spoof Movies?" by Eddache.

bit of a mood shift from that last entry, thank goodness. this here is an exceedingly thorough history of the spoof movie genre that does a great job explaining why some parodies work and others really, really do not. i had no idea how much of the recent history of spoof movies comes down to failson nepotism! a good chill video to watch if you want something relatively harmless to wile away an afternoon with.

and that's it. good luck in these final weeks of 2023, be sure to mask up, get vaxxed, and make sure your friends and family get PCR tests before any big gatherings, what with covid levels being as high as they were in 2020 in many places! i'm serious, deaths have been above 1000 a week since the end of August! so take care of yourselves out there

----

ALSO: VIDREV's askbox is open! please feel free to forward any video essays that you think might be worth talking about (even if you're the one who made it!). this includes new stuff, old stuff, professional stuff, amateur stuff, anything that can be reasonably described as a video essay. no promises that i will cover anything that gets sent to me, but i will try to give everything an honest chance when i've got the time. if you have specific questions you'd like answered, please send those over to my main account as i don't intend to answer any questions here. okay, thanks!!

<- ROUNDUP #2 | ROUNDUP #4 ->

[lilygazing]

Also if you want a really good Trans story that explores the narrative effects of retcon abilities please please please read Godfeels by Sarah Zedig. I cannot recommend it enough it is so unbelievably good.

i think what a lot of ppl miss about the nuance when it comes to the retcon is that the POINT of it is that its a bad ending. homestuck is designed to be a tragedy and it was never going to end well; its frankly ridiculous to try and shoehorn in a scenario where none of the current main characters are dead when the story is ABOUT death. its not narratively satisfying at all like this! but thats not what the kids wanted (and, more to the point, thats not what the FANS wanted. newer fans DEFINITELY miss the fact that homestuck was written as a conversation between hussie and the fans, a conversation that turned into an argument halfway through and led to a lot of things being taken in bad faith on both sides. but i digress; this is a watsonian post)

the retcon powers are very VERY explicitly described as the ability to change the alpha timeline. the 'whats supposed to happen' of it all, the premeditated narrative the story was written to fill. conversely, when aranea used the ring of life to come back and meddle, she is explicitly described as 'causing a doomed timeline.' and like, the thing about doomed timelines is that theyre meant to happen as much as theyre meant to be fixed. theyre how paradox space accounts for and incorporates time travel, and the existence of the doomed timeline is often NECESSARY for the alpha timeline to function. thats how you get davesprite, thats how the aradiabot that brought gamzee's honkHONK code back from his crazy murder timeline contributed to doc scratch's creation, thats why every dead dave helped the alpha timeline dave figure out what to do. if vriska was meant to have never died in the first place the timeline wouldve been doomed long before game over. the ring went to the wrong person, and thats the kind of simple fix sburb was expecting to solve with some time travel to get things back on track

the ring was supposed to go to someone else. probably vriska! from the alpha timelines perspective, it wasnt that long after her confrontation with john that she really changed and grew as a character. that she became someone who deserved a second chance. imagine: john uses his retcon as normal time travel, the way sburb comprehended it through the limitations of its code. he takes the ring before aranea can, goes to the dream bubbles, and has another conversation with vriska. maybe she doesnt even really want the ring anymore, and thats exactly the kind of thing that would convince john to give it to her. and she agrees, because he tells her terezi is waiting for her. they go back, they have the final fight, and people die. maybe they dont come back. but its the group of characters who earned the ending, who we watched grow up for three years

but thats not what happened, and it was never going to be what happened, because as narratively satisfying as it could have been? john and terezi wanted something different. john wanted everything to be OVER and terezi wanted the chance to make a different choice, even if it was wrong. theyre selfish; theyre kids. theyre tired of being characters in a story, of someone else pulling their strings. thats what typheus's choice was about, you know? and john made the wrong choice. some other version of john could have fixed things the "right" way, had our john decided to die instead. to accept the consequences of the doomed timeline and let pardox space fix it. hell, between roxys first instinct to just sit and let the void take her and terezis pointy horns offering a counterpoint we have some pretty blatant devil/angel on the shoulder imagery! and john making the same wrong choice he did when terezi first told him to fly to the seventh gate, except this time there was no davesprite on angel wings, no one left alive he cared about enough to listen to. because as much as john felt like he was SUPPOSED to fall for roxy, the girl version of his fathers lover, someone strongly associated with his half of karkat's shipping chart but without the complication of being a lesbian, someone HUMAN to repopulate the world with cut out of his apocalypse movie fantasies...... terezis way of thinking has always appealed to him more. because as much as he pretends its not true, john doesnt like to take things lying down, and he doesnt like when other people do either. he gets bored! hes attracted to the danger and morally grey self confidence terezi and vriska exude, so. he listened to terezi, and they brought vriska back.... without any of the character development she had gone through.

and its a bad ending, because of course it would be. and thats the point :) it was stupid to think two kids could meddle with the fate of the universe and it was stupid to think that these kids could have a happy ending so easily. but can you really blame them?

[im-the-antonymph-of-your-mom]

How do you personally feel about Yiffany being named Yiffany? Do you call them a different name? The sides of her name seem to be very split from “ don’t care, I think it’s funny “ or “ I hate the name and it’s disgusting “ and I find it interesting to know what people think! Hope this answer isn’t too bothersome 😁

The name is a big part of it. It is worth mentioning that Rose's comedic delivery of her full name's reveal in Chapter 8 was extremely funny to me, but it's more than that: it is what makes the character as extreme as it is. As the grand culmination of everything that makes the Candy timeline interesting (and everything that makes it worth trying to escape, which has been a clear goal for the characters since Chapter 16), Yiffy represents the deterioration of her parents' canonical integrity. She is the ultimate victim of what could be described as the official flanderization dimension, and she should not exist. Rose shouldn't have gone behind Kanaya's back. Rose and Jade shouldn't have named her that. Rose and Jade shouldn't have hid her from her family (like Jake) for the sake of a plot reveal. I hope this makes her angry. I hope she finds out about the nature of her reality and either has an existential crisis or finally understands things that have been upsetting and confusing her for so long, or both. I trust the current writers to deliver on at least one of these hopes.

[podfeels]

Podfeels Season 1 Retrospective

4/13/2024 marked the two year anniversary of Podfeels’ first airing, and in August, we will celebrate the three year anniversary of its inception as a project. It feels so strange, looking back on it all. To me, it feels simultaneously like its always been in my life, and also like it just started yesterday.

I’ve spent nearly three years now spearheading this project, and we’ve expanded from a team of ten to a team of thirty in that time, and have put out roughly four hours of highly produced, full cast, full sound effect audio drama.

That may not sound like much, but for a team composed almost exclusively of first timers at its inception, and with two big hiatuses out of everyone’s control, I’m pretty damn proud.

With Season 1 ending back in January, us currently in the exact two month midpoint between anniversaries, and Season 2 being worked on behind the scenes, I thought now would be a good time to release a bit of a retrospective on our first season. Talk about the process, what went wrong, what went right, and also release our assets for the public.

I’m splitting this into three sections so you can skip around based on what you give a shit about. 

Looking 8ack

Reminiscence about how I got into godfeels through a series of insane coincidences that make my heart feel warm.

2. Adapt8ion

Discussing the process of adapting the work into our medium.

3. Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

A release of Season 1’s art and sound assets for your perusal outside of the videos, use as desktop wallpapers, or what have you. 

Looking 8ack

In March 2020, I got covid for the first time. My workplace had no protections for it yet, so I lost my job. And while bedridden with covid, subsisting off a diet of lukewarm broth, saltines, and nyquil, I set my youtube Watch Later (ok, thats a lie, it was my Likes, which i used ((still use)) as a watch later instead of using the actual watch later function, BUT-) playlist to shuffle. And in this fugue state, I stumbled on the video that would completely change the trajectory of my life.

“What I Learned Writing 50,000 Words of Homestuck Fanfiction”, by Sarah Zedig. I vaguely remembered her from some video about the McElroys and from Hbomberguy’s stream, and I had put off watching this because at the time of its release, I hadn’t yet finished Homestuck. So I shuffled it away for later, and it found its way back into my lap at the perfect time. Having now finished the comic, read the Epilogues, actively reading Homestuck ^2: Beyond Canon, and five months in to my first ever real creative outlet in my semi-abandoned video essay channel, I was interested to hear what this goat had to say.

In the video Sarah went into detail about a ton of wider context about the Homestuck Renaissance that I was fully unaware of, and made a very strong case for her own postcanon work, godfeels. Her passion bled through and I figured, sure, why not, I’ve got nothing better going on, I’ll read the story of Spiderjeggings’ No Good Very Bad Transition. Why not!

55,660 words later, crying alone in bed, I was now a girl. Reading the scene of June making her list of wants the morning after Terezi’s return, I said out loud to myself, hoarse as can be, “I can’t put it off any longer.” 

After reading to current I ended up joining the godfeels fanserver, and from getting settled in these circles I’ve met so many people I wouldn’t have otherwise, and come into myself in ways I can’t begin to fully quantify. I went from one relationship to fourteen to now a stable four, the other person in my head shook back loose after a decade of suppression by me (sorry again, Aegis), I’ve become more cultured, I’ve gained more friends, I’ve gained more hobbies, and most relevant of all… I’ve gained Podfeels.

Podfeels proper actually started in a really funny and impromptu way. In Sarah’s video she mentions wanting to start a podfic adaptation of it, but with that being two years past with no more word, a conversation about it cropped up in the server, and it was revealed that it had been canceled for various reasons. Everyone immediately understood why that had to happen. It was an insane amount of work, especially now that Godfeels was entering the territory of a space opera. But the demand was there among all of us, and after almost a dozen loops of us all going “drat, would be cool. I wish someone would take the helm on that!”, I just went ALRIGHT I GET IT and opened up casting. Podfeels was actually originally a joke name made by someone in the server before I even entered the conversation, but we used it for so long during development that by the time we came to release day it just felt wrong to call the project anything else. The name just stuck.

After a few hours of people daydreaming about it happening, and me encouraging other people to take the helm, I finally gave in and opened up casting. Now, it’s important to understand, I had never directed ANYTHING like this before in my life. I made a really terrible sketch in high school theater class and that’s about it. I’ve always been a bit of a natural leader but never anything with the kind of scale this would require, and it showed. I crowdfunded almost all ideas for what to do and how to handle it, and my best idea for how to do auditions was “just send in a few lines of you doing whatever character you want”. And my language was… insufferably fawning. I was hedging my bets at every opportunity. Every development in the project was “tentative”, I was the “director” until someone else took charge, etc. Looking back its actually kind of adorable? 

Look at that sweetheart. She’s so scared. She has no idea the beautiful changes she is in for.

The casting process was an unmitigated DISASTER. Nobody there knew how to audition, and I didn’t know how to wrangle. We were an unstructured gaggle of doofasses stumbling into each other. And due to the limited pool, I was stretched kind of thin on where to put people. Obviously I stand by all our decisions and love our cast, but because I was pulling entirely from the fanserver, options were very limited. I wanted to get everyone who wanted one into a role, but having to do the math of “this person is 40% good at Character A and 60% good at Character B, but this OTHER person is 80% good at Character B and the closest runner up for Character A is only 35% good” was agonizing.

We ended up deciding to make a few demos first, to test our chops as actors and mine as editor. We had four planned. But after we fully produced our first two demos and had recorded the third… I decided we should immediately start chronological production.

Why did I make this decision, you ask? Well. We had a few months until 4/13/2022. If we immediately all went overdrive, me especially, we had the chance to get our first episode out on the 13th 4/13 anniversary of Homestuck, and like HELL was I about to let us pass that up. 

This was the right call, I think, but it did bring us into a BUNCH of complications. First off, it meant we never really tested our violence and drama chops on the houseraid. Second, if I had waited, we would have been able to dodge our first big hiatus, where I put us on pause for a couple months while we waited to see if our Terezi wanted to leave after she floated the idea, which she ended up doing. If we had stayed in prepro, we would have skipped a huge hiatus and not replaced a key character between episode one and two. It also meant that we didn’t fully solidify an editing pipeline, and I was handling practically all editing until around episode 3. Additional prepro time would have helped us iron that out, as well, rather than me breaking myself on the first couple episodes before bringing in help out of desperation. This rush ALSO led to us having to release episode 1’s video around a week after the audio’s release, and with a fucked up background because I was crunching so hard I didn’t notice I’d accidentally completely butchered John’s bedroom somehow! I think I somehow content aware filled the wall? Fucked if I know why!

This is an abridged version because I want to get us to the meat of the matter today and I feel a lot of the longer story is best saved for a video I plan on making down the line, when we’ve reached 50 hours of runtime. For now, let’s move on.

Adapt8ion

A few folks have asked for indepth adaptation notes for what we change in an episode and why. As a general rule, we make changes with three primary motivations. First, adjusting text-based ideas to sound-based. Godfeels plays with its medium in countless compelling ways that, when shifted to a different medium, are either clunky or incomprehensible. So our first job is to translate those into sound. Second, turning narration into sound effects. We don’t need to discuss sounds in the scene, or a character’s tone, when we can just hear it all ourselves now. This then expands into further issues, however, as some things DO need to stay as narration. There’s a lot of pathos in the narration, and often there’s details that can’t be conveyed through audio alone. But by removing just the audio cues, we are left with very clunky phrasing that does our source material no justice. So we have to rephrase entire sections to give them the same resonance, meaning, and clarity while also getting rid of all the things that are now extraneous in our medium. The third main type of edit is bringing it more in line with what comes later. Godfeels has been running a long time and has become a very different beast from where it began. I love this about it, but some ideas have ended up with insufficient preparation, and some thematic resonances are easy to see looking back but may be partially unintentional. We can take advantage of hindsight and bring certain things more in line with the work’s modern philosophies, such as putting an additional focus on the citizens of Earth C, introducing X as its own entity, playing with Dirk more as a villain, and introducing the question of “what happens to the leftover Junes in a retcon?”, all during Episode 6. 

I’ll be releasing a few other posts soon with detailed adaptation notes for every episode in the coming days, but I’ll leave it here for now and bring us to our final section-

Portr8s, 8ackgrounds, and Sound8ites

While the idea for video versions was a relatively late addition to our process, I’m very proud of the work everyone has put into making them what they are. Our art team and video editor do wonders. First up, we’ve got the talkpogs.

The talkpogs were my own invention, but I can hardly claim they’re an original idea. I’m sure something almost identical has been done before. What directly inspired me, though, was the old Polygon podcasts, where they’d have the hosts faces made out of polygons, with one loose and separated, synced to that host’s audio track. It was the first time I’d seen something like that and I knew I wanted something similar to indicate who was talking. From there it all fell into place pretty easily. The outer ring and the waveform is the character’s text color, and the background is their name color. If those two are the same (as they usually are), I apply a slight darkening to the background just for differentiation. The sprites, though, were all the art team. Unfortunately we didn’t have a base early on, so different artists drew to different scales. 

For the art style I told the artists to try to strike a middleground between Homestuck classic and girlpillz’s style which had just been shown in GF3.1.8.E, where godfeels got its first spritework. Otherwise, designs were largely up to the artists but we had conversations about them as a project. Overall I’m very satisfied with the work everyone turned in.

Backgrounds were a more complicated beast, but paradoxically also have less to talk about. We started out with one background per episode, which was pretty doable, but with the season 1 finale, and our expanded art team, we opted to expand out into a background per setting. The first two are just Pesterquest backgrounds I edited by hand, but after that we started having custom art. That was largely due to restraints lifting as the team grew, but it also turned out pretty good thematically, as the first episode with custom art was Episode 3, where June’s egg cracks. We left official art behind as June left the officially plotted course. I think it’s resonant.

Now we come to our latest introduction. KEY ART. We started doing this in Episode 6 and it’s so sick. Don’t expect these inclusions to be TOO common, but… we have some cool things in store here, and I think you’ll all be really excited to see ‘em. For now, here’s our first and so far only public piece of key art, Dirk menacing June against the tree. The final piece of art of Season 1, and the final piece of art of Season 1’s retrospective. It only seems fair.

Which now brings us to my own inclusion: sound assets. I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in to giving each character and concept their own unique aural profile. From the magical girl burning radiation of Jade’s magic, to the shattering static of June’s retcon, to threading the needle of Hammer, Sword, Plastic Toy, Dice, And Doomsday Device in June’s vrillyhoo. 

That’s all for today. In the coming week or so I’ll put together a few more posts, going over each episode in more detail, from point by point script edit notes, to specific art discussions. I also plan to bring in a few people who have been around since day one to talk about our experience setting up the project.

But for now, look forward to seeing more from us soon. Both in the upcoming devposts, and in Season 2. We've been on a hiatus to get our preproduction pipeline settled, and because we wanted to get a few episodes prepped so we can try to maintain a monthly schedule. But we're getting to the end of this phase now, and will be announcing Episode 7's release date very soon.

Until next time! :::;)

[gendertrickster]

what is "hairclips june"? i never read godfeels and dont plan on it. is it just something the author calls how fandom usually draws june? i dont really get it

pretty much, yeah. it is a term coined by godfeels author sarah zedig to mean broader depictions of june across the fandom, particularly ones where her trans experience is generally "uncomplicated", which, is really not a bad way to depict her? like if you're just a regular transfeminine homestuck fan, what is wrong with the idea of relating to june as a trans woman but not wanting to go through the effort of depicting all the hardships of being a trans woman?

the way people relate to june is analogous to something like the bechdel test to me, which is like, trying to experience queerness vicariously through media and being like "i can pretend these two characters are lesbians so i can feel something equating to fulfillment as a yearning lesbian myself". depicting june being happy and femme and such to get some fulfillment as a trans woman is not a faulty way to depict june — granted, it doesn't exactly do egbert much justice as a character most of the time, and that i can understand having issue with, but i don't think there's any inherent harm in depicting june this way, other than wearing down people's reads on egbert in the actual text of homestuck in some cases, but that's not a universal fault in depicting june as happy, it's a common issue that affects every character in homestuck, because nobody reads the text.

and i guess from that angle i can understand having a disdain for/being "tired of" these sorts of june depictions but godfeels june just feels so. needlessly spiteful in response? it borders on pretentious if i'm being honest

[dailysnoozygoofs]

hi and thank you Sarah Zedig

[curiouscrux]

Tagged by @irregularcollapse for "nine people i want to get to know better" —thank you.

LAST SONG? Currently playing through all of Testuo and Youth by Lupe Fiasco.

FAVORITE COLOR? Usually would say gray, but maybe pumpkin at this point?

CURRENTLY WATCHING? Nothing television-wise. My latest YouTube video was likely "The Lost Art of Flashbacks: Interview with the Vampire" by Sarah Zedig.

LAST MOVIE? Train to Busan (2016).

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY? Spicy food makes me feel something.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS? Open-Polycule.

CURRENT OBSESSIONS? Desperately trying to find the perfect yarn for a specific project, finishing Oracle of Seasons after 19 years, hand-sewing button-up shirts, thinking of how I would transpose pieces for my lyre, MLIS coursework.

LAST THING YOU GOOGLED? Unrelated to citation? Rain World wiki for a fic.

Nine tags with no pressure attached in general, but also because everyone seems very busy right now:

@coldwind-shiningstars, @uncannycory, @alienbabydraws (not sure if you respond from an art account?), @spacejammie-eimmajecaps, @ezdotjpg, @vlad-the-lad, @seserakh, @wutheringmights, @so-i-did-this-thing

[hms-no-fun]

i remember a while back you saying in one of these asks that you didnt find classpects that interesting as a writing tool (or something similar, i don’t remember the exact wording) but you seem to be referring to them significantly more since then, both textally in godfeels and when you’ve discussed the work like in these asks - has anything changed in your perspective on them?

astute observation!

so, i don't find classpects particularly interesting as a writing tool. i'm not a big fan of mapping out a character beforehand, engaging in that sort of reverse personality quiz process of defining their wants, their needs, their astrological sign, etc. no hate to anyone who does, but for me it's far more interesting to just let the character decide that stuff for themselves. it's the same process of discovery i apply to the rest of godfeels, which is admittedly a sort of insane way to work and probably shouldn't be taken as an example.

so that's a very specific definition of "writing tool" that maybe isn't what other people are thinking of. i can get didactic about these things because i don't like writing advice or things that seem like writing advice if you squint.

you're right though that classpects are more at the front of my mind than they used to be. part of it is just that classpects are about to be a lot more actively relevant to the narrative (albeit not in the way you would expect), so i've obviously been thinking about them more. which, you know, those thoughts do naturally generate fiction activity which shapes how i intend to write future chapters-- in that sense, are classpects not a useful "writing tool" for me? i dunno.

it's not even that i find them more meaningful structurally. i think giving someone a title and then building their character around it is a great way to come up with wooden characters. in the case of the upsilon kids (who you will be meeting very soon), their classpects emerged through writing a bunch of little test scenes. i'd put them in a room together and give them something to react to. i really want to avoid conventional group dynamics with this crew, so i always pushed them to behave in messy ways. and over time it became apparent that what makes them work is their seeming incompatibility, which i shouldn't say much more about until you've actually got some material to draw your own conclusions from. but the point is, it wasn't until i got a good handle on each kid's vibe that i assigned them their classpects, and i assigned them in a way that was deliberately "underwhelming" or seemingly a bad fit. i did this because i don't like the narratological determinism that can arise when you give a character a title they like too much.

i don't like giving writing advice but i highly encourage young writers out there to not be afraid of writing unusable scenes. it helps to be able to think of the writing in the early planning stages as, in some sense, disposable. because the prose isn't the point-- it's getting to the characters as you understand them. there's so many scenes i've written that will not make it into godfeels proper without significant alteration if at all! and look, i know how it is when you feel like you can barely write, so every word you manage to get on the page is precious and needs to be preserved towards the Final Product. sometimes that's correct! precious things always emerge in this process. but it's nowhere near as many as you think, and the hard lesson is understanding the difference between precious and enjoyable. just because you enjoy the thing doesn't make it right for the story. even pretty trash belongs in the bin eventually.

but again, it isn't wasted work. the words aren't the goal, they're just a happy accident. the real work happens in your head.

uh shit anyway so for instance Dana Straten's classpect is Knight of Mind. i must admit she's an outlier among the upsilons in that i picked her classpect in the gf3 prologue with an understanding of her character that was vastly different from who she would end up becoming. back then all i knew about the upsilons was they'd be Dana, Jade's as-yet unnamed daughter, and two others. for a long time, once Julia came in and really breathed life into Dana, i was convinced that Knight of Mind was just wrong. it was a bad choice for her, it didn't make sense, she should have been something else that had cooler power implications and i should just retcon it to something better before anybody notices. this worry resulted in a lot of conversations with my collaborators, ultimately concluding that it was more fun to just play with the hand i'd unwittingly dealt us. so we took the Dana we felt and asked her what Knight of Mind meant to her, figuratively speaking. wrote some scenes, had more conversations. Julia and i have spent a LOT of time discussing Dana's whole situation.

the thing about this is that i don't think our idea of her changed all that much between when she came into her own in like march/april 2021 and when she properly entered the story in summer 2022 (god it feels like that gap should be a lot longer, but i double checked and it's right). much of what we already implicitly understood about Dana remained true. but through our discussions and test scenes, we were able to define those truths in some really useful ways. it was through this process that we textually solidified Dana as someone who doesn't have cool powers, at least not flashy ones anyway. Dana's weapon is her mind-- the ability to use her razor sharp clarity of perception to act on many different forms of knowledge at once. she's not a mind control person, she's not a seeing all eventualities person, she's just a really smart punch person. Knight of Mind, it turns out, was perfect for her, because she doesn't need it. and that realization was very much why i tried to create a similar dynamic with the rest of the upsilons.

so again we ask, does that not make classpects a useful "writing tool" for me? again i answer, i dunno. i don't really care. it's just the process to me. all of it is just the process.

maybe that points to why i was so free with referring to Rose in short as Seer of Mind in that ask. having reached the endpoint of Rose's role in this story, i finally understand what Seer of Light means for her (in godfeels, at any rate). it's that she saw the truth of how the narrative was changing and accepted that it wasn't for her. as in, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel and chose to walk towards it. it's become a shorthand for Rose, you see? i say "Seer of Light" the way i say the name of a friend who was really more of an acquaintance realistically speaking, like we only hung out a couple times a few years ago, but we hit it off so well every time that i was always like "man, i wish we could hang out all the time, we'd be great friends" but just, for one reason or another, it never quite lined up for that to happen. the name of a beloved missed connection, perhaps...

i guess, basically, to put a bow on this: i try not to think about classpects until the character in question is real enough in my mind that they define it rather than the other way around. once again i have no idea if this makes any kind of sense procedurally or if i'm just making my life harder by being stubborn. but then again, the only writing advice any writer can ever give you is how to write the things they already wrote, so

[calcifiedneurotic]

(maya voice) senpaiiii!!! *insta-melts into an orange puddle*

do you plan on updating Methods of Bioterrorism at some point? that last cliffhanger was fucking brutal lol

oh jeez @_@

I definitely would *want* to, but I think a lot of that series was borne out of a specific kind of chuuni energy that I'm not sure I could harness again the same way. a lot of the kinds of topics I was inspired by at the time have gotten pretty exhausting to think about over the last few years lol

[davekat-sucks]

Would you happen to know about Sarah Zedig? The woman who wrote the Terezi route in Pesterquest (It's the worst one IMO) who is friends with Kate and OD and also continues writing a horrible wish-fulfillment violent fantasy fanfiction called Godfeels where she makes June a fusion of John and Vriska? The people who get hired by WP sure are very stable and normal.

Yes, I know of her. To be part of WhatPumpkin, you have to be a complete degenerate to be friends with them.

[frostytherobot]

What are some of the youtubers you listen to? Give me like, top 5, any you'd reccommend

okay well Red Letter Media is my big channel right now, I put their stuff on and just chill out more than anything else right now, so I’m gonna list a few others that I don’t really talk about much.

Folding Ideas has put out a bunch of really great video essays with profound introspection on top of some of the most amazing analysis I’ve seen from any video essayists. If you’re into Hbomberguy I think you’d also enjoy him quite a bit.

Drawfee is a lot of fun, I love listening to them joke around while they draw silly stuff, and their Drawtectives series is amazing and the world they’ve created there is wonderful. They’ve got a wonderful dynamic in their videos and are another channel I’ll put on just to feel like I’m hanging out with someone.

Guaranteed Video (ran by Neil Cicierega and co). Recently they’ve started playing bad games they find online in a series called Video Game Police and it’s very silly with all the humor you’d expect from Neil and friends. I love listening to their Audio series at work and go back to their episodes on Ernest frequently.

Nyx Fears has done some amazing videos about disturbing internet phenomena and reviews horror films on top of making some kick ass music. I have met her in person at a local show and she’s amazing, please check her out!!

Caitlin Doughty, AKA Ask A Mortician, I really enjoy hearing about innovations in green burial and different cultural practices surrounding death so it’s great to listen to if you’re curious about things like that.

Honorable mentions to Dead Meat, Christine McConnell, Rachel Maksy, Defunctland, FilmCow, EdAtlin, Jack Saint, SnapCube, Sarah Zedig, Tasting History, Nico Animations, Todd in the Shadows, and TomSka. I don’t watch them nearly as much as these other ones, and some of them don’t upload nearly as much as others, but I enjoy them all the same.

[lunaticli8rarian]

>sarah zedig characterisation moment

i don't even mind chilkat is the worst part a8out it all. at least it 8n't dou8le homopho8ic like karezi. 8ut no you gotta f8ckin' sh8t in my corn flakes having the worst f8cking dave take alive cuz you read homestuck 8lind folded while drunk.

chilkat is fun tho.

[renthony]

you might have already seen it but sarah zedig's new video talks about why the hays code was Bad, Actually and i thought of you when i watched it! wanted to let ya know it's there in case you didn't know about it. hope you and yours have a good day!

Oh rad, thanks!