#now im here 4am lying awake thinking about him
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cerberin · 1 year ago
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i fought too hard and too long for him
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shurisneakers · 4 years ago
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shut in [9]
Summary: When your high profile mission goes terribly wrong, you’re forced to hide in a safehouse with a man you’ve never met before. With seemingly nowhere else to go, you’re forced to work together to figure out who is trying to have you assassinated before it’s too late. (Sam Wilson x Reader, Hitman AU)
Warnings: cursing, anxiety, ptsd, shooting
Word count: 2.8k
A/N: ok ok ok ok sam deserves the world and im mad that he’s not getting it
i also appreciate feedback so if you would like to, please consider dropping me an ask or comment ly guys!!
here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333
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Previous Part || Shut In Masterlist
He was gone.
10:00am
Time had begun to slip past you. Days where you were forced to wake up at 4am were just a dreary memory you didn’t want to revisit. The rough shoves in the morning to have you awake enough to be in training by 4:30am only fell into the category of things you had forgotten over the time you had stayed here.
Maybe sleep wasn’t a luxury you weren’t allowed to afford.
10:30am
By the time you step into the kitchen, the loose structure of the day you had ahead of you was forming. Maybe if you revisited the small makeshift shooting range you had set up for Sam and you to practice. A couple of old soup cans, a flat boulder for them to sit on and you were good to go. He had allowed you to use his giant board for knife throwing too, laughed when you asked for permission before saying it was for the both of you. 
You made a sandwich for yourself, forcing it down your throat with water. Bread was starting to feel like cardboard and the jam just tasted like nothing. Peanut butter was even worse.
Losing appetite wasn’t an option, even though it had eroded a while ago. The best option was to just scarf it down with water. 
11:00am
Sam isn’t in the house, you had deduced. A morning run or maybe just some fresh air.
You checked for the notes he sometimes left for you when he went out. Something along the lines of when he’d be back, or why he’d left, or where you could find him. 
You looked on top of the fridge where he generally left them; someplace he knew you’d see. You didn’t find one.
You shrugged it off. 
Something felt wrong about the arrangement of the kitchen but you couldn’t place a finger on what it was. All the chairs were in its place, trash appropriately in the bin, no bowls were left from soup day in the sink to wash. 
The origami swan you had made still rested next to his paper airplane. Nothing seemed wrong or out of place. 
You pushed yourself to shake off the nerves, to get dressed instead. The shooting range was waiting for you.
12:45pm
When you shoot for thirty and get all thirty, it tends to get a little boring. Not that you were complaining; if even one was off you’d spend the whole day trying to make up for it.
Violent hobbies weren’t ideal. They weren’t even hobbies per se. Just skills you needed to keep sharp if you wanted to survive.
You even shot at the targets that you had hung up on the trees. Dangerous and completely Sam’s idea. Said the wind made them act like moving targets. Nevermind the possibility of a ricochet.
The target board was empty too. Admittedly, knife throwing was a little harder  to get used than shooting to but it still only took a few tries before you were hitting bullseye over and over again.
There just wasn’t anything to do. And you realised it had been this way for a while but you never noticed due to his lively chatter or how competitive it got with stupid games you were making up as you went. 
1:00pm
You learned against the counter as you ate, eyeing the room, trying to figure out what you had misplaced. The air was cold, even more so after the shower, so you threw on an extra t-shirt to aid you.
You made a noise of disapproval when you couldn’t find what was wrong. A quick wash of your hands before you made your way to the TV, fully intending to doze off while watching Megamind for the fourth time. 
You passed by the mini fridge on the way, noting how you needed to restock the ice cubes when you suddenly stopped in your path.
Your eyes peeled back to the small paper bowl Sam had crafted expertly that was still somehow managing to stick together. But that was what was wrong.
The keys were missing.
The fucking car keys and the pocket change you had taken from Pierce’s house were no longer there. 
Your body moved on autopilot, dragging you towards the front door. You yanked it open, door creaking under the pressure you applied on it.
Your heart sank. 
The car was gone.
1:20pm
You had all the possibilities listed out in front of you with the rest scratched out after you had rationalised it.
Someone had come in and taken the car, which wasn’t likely. 
Sam had stepped out but hadn’t mentioned it to you. If he did, why would he need the car?
Someone had abducted Sam, which was absurd on paper but still left a twinge of uncertainty because you couldn’t definitively rule it out. 
He had just left. Decided he was done and left. 
You stared at the last option. 
“Fuck,” you cursed.
You could feel his muscle shift as he looked at you. 
“What’s wrong?” 
You opened your mouth but shut it again. How do you explain it to him without sounding utterly ridiculous?
You wondered if it was that conversation. 
He wouldn’t leave after you told him, would he?
You hesitated before shaking your head.
He’d come back. He would.
1:45pm 
You had added a few more possibilities to the list but discarded it almost immediately.
You now found a place in front of the TV, watching but not registering what was said. Your fingers kept itself busy by playing with the hem of your shirt. You had thrown another one on since his jacket was missing with the rest of him. It had gotten colder.
The woman droned on about how much her husband loved the recipe she was making. It was Sam’s favourite segment, not because it was particularly fantastic or anything, but because it gave him forty five minutes of free content to trash talk.
Your eyes kept glancing up at the clock. Was it broken or was time much slower than you initially thought?
You almost felt like you were in a cognitive dysfunction; you couldn’t do anything other than while away time till you figured out what had gone wrong. 
2:00pm
If you weren’t paying attention, you wouldn’t have heard the soft crunch of twigs. The whirring of the wheels as it turned gently only made you sit up straight, hands on the gun that rested on the couch beside you.
It came to a stop. The gun was fully in your grip now, TV turned off to determine what the noises were.
It was the most agonisingly slow minute you spent listening as the car opened and shut, muffled by the distance. You were near the door, using the adjoining wall as a hideaway. 
The doorknob shook as someone tried to push their way in. 
“Sam?” you called out cautiously against your better judgement, mentally cringing. 
It took a second for his reply to return. 
“Hey, sweetheart. Let me in, will you? Stupid door’s not opening.”
Of course it wouldn’t. It was fingerprint activated.
Relief flooded your system, letting yourself hold the gun with only one hand as you hastily made your way to open the door.
However, you paused. As much as you wanted to fling the door open blindly, you waited, hand on the knob.
“Is someone out there with you?”
“What?” he sounded confused. “No, it’s just me.”
You opened the door slightly, peeking out through the sliver of open space. 
Sure enough, it was only him. The car was returned to the same spot that it was.
“Where were you?” You yanked the door open. You sounded way more aggressive than you planned to, you were sure. It didn’t matter though.
“Went to the store,” he said nonchalantly, stepping inside, and dropping the keys back where they were.
“What?” 
He was so relaxed about it, like it was nothing. It only irked you further than you already were.
“Drove the car till the highway, walked into town and went to the store.” He set the bag down. “What’d you do all day?”
“You went to the town,” you emphasised. “To the fucking store.”
“Yeah, I figured you would be up by the time I came back.”
“You were gone for hours.” You crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to yell. You could talk it out calmly. You didn’t have to snap
You hoped he had a good reason. You sincerely hoped, for his well being and security, that he risked his life to go to public space.
“We’re way further out than you think. Nearest dollar store’s almost the next fuckin’ state if you’re walking. Had to ditch the car because it’s a little too flashy, even for me.” He lifted up the bag next to him. “Got us some ramen. And juice. That’s all we had cash for anyway.”
You stare at him, mouth slightly agape. 
“You could have been seen, Sam,” your tone was corrosive, the next best you could do instead of yelling. “For all we know, you could have been followed.”
“No one followed me. I made sure.”
That did nothing to alleviate the anxiety that was crawling into your head. 
“You’re ridiculous,” you muttered. “Fucking ridiculous.”
“Where are you going?” You ignored him, turning on your heel and walking to the bedroom. You didn’t care if it was his day that day. He could rot in the kitchen with his stupid ramen for all you cared.
You cursed as you slammed the door behind you, launching yourself onto the bed. 
There was no denying you were relieved that he was still alive and here. But fuck him. Fucking dickhead. 
Fucking juice.
You spent the next couple of hours feeling absolutely embarrassed for yourself. Why did you spend hours worrying if he was safe when he was out there, gallivanting in public for some stupid noodles?
Both of you could have been absolutely fucked if he wasn’t careful. He may have just jeopardised your entire set up.
But deep down, no matter how much it was annoying to acknowledge, you knew he wouldn’t have. He was smart, strategic. 
Why would he do something like this?
How much you were worried scared you. There was no time where it had occurred that maybe you were in danger too. Every possibility you came up with only pushed the thought of him possibly in trouble further into your head. 
But the more you spend time overthinking, the more you realised that him being in danger wasn’t the entire cause of your worry. 
What if he didn’t come back? Why’d he come back? 
He had the means to leave, the will to and clearly was able to go undetected for a while. He didn’t need to return, but he did. 
And for what; to give you some food he bought from the dollar store. 
He seemed excited about it too, before you had closed the door on his face and decided to spend the next few hours self-destructing.
Fucking ramen.
Maybe if you could just lie there until you decomposed, then you wouldn’t have to have a conversation with him about this. That’s what you would have done a couple of months ago. 
But now the idea of communicating had been implanted and implemented several times before. It didn’t feel right to push it away, not when you’d come so far. A chance to heal.
You groaned, shoving a pillow onto your face before getting up grumpily. 
Fuck this man and his stupid, healthy methods of coping. 
___
You opened the door slowly, creeping into the hallway to assess what he was doing. It had been a few hours of silence in the house. He had given you space, not come knocking on the door to explain himself. 
You took note of the kitchen. The table had been laid with two bowls of noodles covered with a plate along with a glass each of juice. It was domestic. Cute.
He was watching Die Hard but the volume was turned down low. If he was anything like you, he wouldn’t have been paying too much attention.
You cleared your throat awkwardly to grab his attention.
His neck craned to look at you, surprise flashing across his face for a second before he leapt up, turning off the TV in an instant.
“Y/N,” he stated as normally as he could.
“Samuel,” your tone was steady. 
He scratched the back of his neck nervously. “Wasn’t sure if you were gonna show up.” 
“Neither was I.” You looked at the table, gesturing towards it with your shoulder. “Watchu got there, Gordon Ramsey?”
Because screw him, but the longer you stood there staring at the bowl, you were starting to understand the lengths he went to to get something other than bread, peanut butter and soup. As much as the prospect of being petty thrilled you, you had survived on nothing but them for the past few weeks.
“Got a few packs of ramen and a gallon of juice from the store. Thought you- we deserve somethin’ nice.” You noticed his quick coverup but didn’t acknowledge it. “It’s not Michelin star worthy, but it’ll do.”
You nodded, avoiding looking at him.
“I-”
“Hey-”
Both of you started at the same time, only to be cut off by the other. You mentioned for him to continue.
“Listen, I’m sorry. I should have told you before I left,” You didn’t expect the sincerity that exuded from every word he let out and you found yourself unable to look away. “I’m not used to people worrying about where I go... but things are different now. I won’t do it again.”
You weren’t used to the feeling of lightness that accompanied an apology. Relief. 
“Thank you,” you said breathily. His face noticeably brightened. “But why’d you come back?”
His small smile left as soon as it came, as his face fell into a frown. “What?”
“You could have just left. You had the car, the-” you stopped yourself from listing out reasons why he should have. “Why’d you come back?”
He looked completely confused. 
“Because I wanted to,” he voiced. “Leaving you behind was never an option. I wouldn’t-”
He trailed off, eyes never leaving yours. 
“You’re stuck with me,” he urged softly. “We’re a team.”
You lingered on him longer than you wanted to admit. He wasn’t lying, you had realised. 
“Care to join me for dinner?” he asked, extending a hand to you.
You rolled your eyes but took it, feeling the heat creep up your neck. He smirked at you and fuck, he was frustratingly cute. 
You understood. You totally understood when you nearly died at the first bite you took, vowing to never take food like this for granted again. It may have been the absolute bare minimum; just the seasoning and noodles he had cooked in the microwave, but it was the best goddamn meal you ever had.
“Good, right?” He looked about as content as he could be. 
“Best fuckin’ day of my life.”
He kidded around some more. You choked out a laugh at some, wholly ignored the others to which he took complete offence. You saw it as a way to humble him.
This was the normalcy you had crushed your craving for so long ago, accepting that it wouldn’t ever happen. A normal dinner with someone who made you smile, no impending doom lurking around the corner and maybe a shot at a glimmer of something happy. 
It was strange that you found it with another hitman in a safe house, hiding from authorities and who knows what else, with food worth a couple of cents. You wouldn’t want it any other way.
Yet there were things that had to be discussed. Conversations that needed to happen.
“Sam, we need to talk about it.” You didn’t have to explain, he knew what you were talking about.
“What’s wrong?” 
“I need to tell you something and I need you to hear me out before saying anything,” you pulled away from him, shuddering at the sudden cold that enveloped you. 
“I’m listening.”
“We do,” he agreed, and you could feel the atmosphere in the room begin to shift. “But we don’t have to do it now.”
He reached across from where he was sitting, hesitantly interlacing your fingers. The sense of fluster you experienced wasn’t healthy, you decided.
You just ducked your head, fighting against the damn smile that was trying to make its way onto your face. You didn’t pull away.
“Okay.”
Next part
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dierwolves · 5 years ago
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fezco x reader; old flame #2
notes: so this is part 2, i’m planning on doing this kind of a back story to what we see in euphoria, or more like what we don’t see about fezco. feedback is always cool, so tell me what you think!
part 1 part 3
 fez:
im leaving the party now
you: 
it’s only 4am, tired of hanging out with teenagers already?
 fez:
fuck off
ur at the hospital shoudlnt u be payin attention to ur patients???
 you:
just finished my shift asshole, i’m going home now
 fez:
want me to pick u up?
 you:
don’t worry i’ll ask one of my coworkers to drive me
 fez:
already on my way, see u now
 You walked straight to the hospital cafeteria, where you usually waited 30 minutes until this one nurse could drive you home. You hadn’t been in town for long, but you had already scoped out who has their own vehicle, and had managed to be friendly enough to catch a ride every ride. You didn’t need a car when you lived in the city, the bus or the underground worked just fine. Now you really were in need of a car. That, or Fez could simply become your personal chauffeur.
 fez:
go to the front of the hospital
 You got into his car that you knew so well. It smelled like weed most of the time. It made you reminiscence of the times when you’d drive to parties in his car during high school.
“You didn’t need to.”
“Just say ‘thanks’”.
“Thanks.” You rolled your eyes, but he could see a small smile on your lips, he knew you were thankful. “So, how was the party?”
“You know teenagers. Lots of sex, lots of alcohol and lots of drugs.”
“You know alcohol is drug, don’t you?”
“Yes doctor, I know that.”
“Just saying.”
You laid your head against the window and your eyes started to close. These night shifts were killing you. You had Fez to keep you entertained most nights. He had taken to texting you almost every night. You didn’t know how he managed to stay awake so late and still function like a normal human the next day, but you weren’t complaining.
“You gon’ fall asleep on me?”
“Sorry.” You tried to focus on him to avoid falling asleep again. He looked handsome that night. He always did, but every time you saw him it seemed like he looked even better. “So, did you get any?”
“Interested?” He said in a teasing tone. You liked that smirk, although most times it just made you stutter pathetically.
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re the one who had a crush on me.” You said, and you were pleased to see the blood rushing to his pale cheeks.
“Who told you that?”
“No one. You were pretty obvious.”
He sighed. “Then why didn’t you say anything?”
You shrugged. “You never asked me out either. Maybe I got it wrong, I wasn’t gonna risk it.”
His face turned more serious. “I knew you wouldn’t say ‘yes’. A school drop-out and a girl who was going to one of those Ivy League med-schools? That’s some Hollywood movie shit.”
“So that’s the reason why you didn’t ask me out? Funny, I just thought you didn’t have the balls to ask.” It brought a smile back to his face.
“You ain’t that intimidating, sweetheart.”
“That’s why you still have a hard time looking me in the eye when we talk?”
He chuckled. “Shit, Y/N. Feeling brave tonight? You sure you haven’t had anything to drink?”
You took a deep breath. Having a drink would have been definitely helpful to have this conversation. “You know I had a crush on you too, right? Since ninth grade.” The air in the car was dense. You were close to opening the car the window, needing to feel the wind in your face.
“Well, would’ve been cool to know this back then.”
“I mean...” It was your time to smirk at him. “We’re here now.”
He returned the smirk. “That’s good to know.”
You didn’t speak again while the ride lasted, but his hand had slipped to your thigh, drawing random patterns on your skin, and soon you started to doze off again.
You woke up when the car came to a halt. You looked around the street and then back at Fez. “This isn’t my home.”
“It’s mine. I assumed, given where the conversation was going, you wouldn’t mind.”
You laughed, that bastard. “Guess I don’t.”
You followed him inside the house. You weren’t sure about what to do or where to go, so you just followed him around. He went to a room at the back of the corridor. “That’s my room. Wait in there, I’m gonna check on my grandma, okay?”
You nodded and did as told. His room was kinda messy, but still, pretty comfortable. It was full of personal stuff, things he liked, which made it way cosier. His voice startled.
“Think I have some clothes you can wear. Wait a minute.”
“A t-shirt’s just fine.”
He laughed quietly. “Okay.” He started digging around his wardrobe while you just sat by his bed. “Here”. You grabbed the t-shirt and started stripping off your clothes. His eyes were glued to you. You didn’t turn around. What was the point in hiding? He started stripping at the other side of the bed and god, only if you weren’t so tired.
“Damn, ma. Wasn’t planning on fucking tonight, but I might just change my mind.”
You looked at him. He had tripped down to his boxers. It seemed like he didn’t plan on wearing something else. Thank God.
“Why you didn’t plan on having sex?”
“`Cause the moment your head hits the pillow you gon’ fall asleep.”
You sighed. It was probably true. You got under the blankets. These night shifts were really catching up to you.
“Come here.” He was lying on his back, arm extended toward you. You swiftly put your head on his chest, nuzzling your nose into his neck. He surrounded you with his arm, and left his hand fall on your ass. You gave a little jump, but you didn’t catch his boastful smile.
“This okay?”
You nodded, not trusting your voice. You fell asleep soon after, in the arms of your high school crush, who fell asleep grasping your ass. Hell, this really was some Hollywood movie shit.
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gatticus · 5 years ago
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a wild fic prompt: becca and gat and matching tattoos from when stupid drunk one night
YOU DID IT
also i havent forgotten abt the becca/troy kiss 1! i will do it-- also this is sooo long for a drabble lol, it ends a bit abruptly cos im tired, sorrry :(
also also  scroll 2 the end to see what they got on each other :) (johnnys one is very blurry cos i had to get it from a screenshot from tht billboard in sr3 lol)
What was my dogs name?” 
Johnny frowned. “Uh...fuck, I know this...Greg?”
They were playing a drinking game of sorts, testing how well they actually knew each other. A jug of a mix of spirits and an attempt to water it down with a soft drink sat between them, ready to be divvied out between the two of them. They were sat on the kitchen floor, crossed legs, like two teenagers at a sleepover--it was quite a step away from the fancy cars and designer clothes.
“Nope,” She smiled at his groan. “George. Drink up, loser.”
Johnny obliged, tilting the liquid down his throat. She watched his adams apple bob as he swallowed, the tattoos across his neck moving with the motion.
She needed to stop that pronto.
“Okay,” He wiped a hand across the back of his mouth. “My moms name.”
“I know this!” She demanded, finger in the air. “Jung Soo. It’s Jung Soo. I fuckin’ know it’s jung--”
“Yeah,” He laughed. “You got it.”
“My brothers name?”
“Darren,” Johnny answered instantly. “C’mon, that’s an easy one, met that scrawny fucker enough times. Uh… what time was I born?”
Becca blinked. Mainly at the audacity. “Are you being serious? What time you were born?”
“You dunno?” He replied, casually. Too casually.
“I mean, I know your birthday, but not the exact fucking millisecond, Johnny.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s not fair.”
“Guess.”
“Uh,” She racked her brains for an answer she wasn’t going to get. “You were born on the 15th April 1984, at...uh...4AM?”
Johnny winced.
“Was I close?”
“Kinda.”
She blinked. “Really? I mean that was just a guess. What time was it?”
“7PM.”
“‘Kinda’ close?” She repeated, scowling whilst she took a gulp of her drink. “You’re killing me here.”
“Tell you what,” He took a drink of his glass, unprompted. Maybe he enjoyed it. “Same game, different rule. I get this next one right, we get some new ink.”
Becca raised an eyebrow at him. She wasn’t really in need of anything to permanently stain across her body, she liked to have sentimental value behind those kind of things. She supposed that was a little strange, considering she had a wasp tattooed on her collarbone for the Skeeters--
--that was before Johnny informed her that the mascot was, in fact, a mosquito.
“Okay,” She supplied, a little warily. “What’re you getting?”
“Well,” He cracked his neck. He clearly hadn’t expected it to go this far. “You pick out what we’re gettin’.”
Matching tattoos? She supposed it had some meaning to it, but she had nothing in her head to pick. A dog? A dick? His mom? She couldn’t think of anything for them to actually get.
“Alright.” She was drunk. Fuck it. “What’s my full name? My birth name? And...when was I born? And what was my first tattoo?”
Johnny blinked. “You’re gonna make me earn this, huh?”
She hummed, grinning at him over the top of her glass. She took another large mouthful of it, grimacing before she swallowed. 
“A’ight,” Johnny’s eyes narrowed as he thought. “Rebecca Elizabeth Al--Hammond, was born on the 23rd of October...shit..I know this…”
Becca watched him with amusement, taking another sip of her drink. She buzzed pleasantly as she watched him concentrate, frowning behind his glasses.
“How old are you?”
“That’s cheating.”
He cursed, brows furrowing again. “1986. I got it. Rebecca Elizabeth Hammond, 23rd October 1986, and your first ink was…” 
His eyes roamed over her, checking every tattoo she had on display. His eyes lingered a little too long on the roses on her shoulder--a tattoo for Aisha, before moving on.
“Move your leg,” He instructed, sighing when he shifted it. “Nah, like--”
All of a sudden, his fingers were on her calf, pulling it out from underneath her. He ignored her yelp, examining the anchor tattoo on her skin. She didn’t dare comment about it, about how his fingers had no business feeling that good on her skin.
“There,” He pointed with his free hand. “The anchor.”
She was a little disappointed when he dropped her leg. Even more so that he managed to get them all right.
“Okay,” She pretended to sigh. “You got it. We’re getting massive matching schlongs on our forehead.”
“I think the fuck not,” It left his mouth immediatley. “Think harder.”
She chewed her lip as she thought, thinking of what suited it. She didn’t want to go too sappy, but didn’t want a dick either, or a deformed dog. She mulled it over further until a thought popped into her head.
“Get me a marker,” She demanded. “Quick.”
Johnny rolled his eyes, acting just as dramatic as usual. “What your last slave die of?”
“I shot ‘em,” She supplied. “they didn’t listen to me.”
He gave a short laugh as he wandered, or maybe staggered was the better descriptor, over to the draws. He was careless, throwing things over his shoulder and chucking things to the side before he returned, marker in hand.
“Maybe you should leave the drawin’ to the guy,” He warned, still holding the marker. “You ain’t no picasso, B.”
“Shut up and give me the damn pen.”
He only smirked when he handed it to her, sitting back in front of her. He watched expectantly as she thought more about what she was going to do.
“Arm out.” She ordered, grinning when he rolled up the sleeve of his right arm. “Good.”
She tugged his arm closer to her, uncapping the pen. She hesitated, thinking of spots to do it. The thought of it sprawled across his bicep was a interesting notion, she certainly wouldn’t mind looking at that every so often.
Instead, she settled for his forearm. She pressed the pen to his skin, signing her name down the length of it. 
“Oh,” He blinked. “Well that’s different. What you want on you then?”
“You choose.” She shrugged.
Johnny took the pen off her, pointing it in the air. He seemed to only take a moment to choose, before grabbing her arm, positioning it so her forearm was across from him. 
“You fucked up doin’ signatures,” He told her, as he scrawled his own onto her skin. “Mine is fuckin’ huge.”
“Then write it smaller.”
He didn’t reply, but the small grin on his lips was enough. It took him longer to write hers, adding a line underneath it for emphasis. 
“And…” He placed a final dot on her skin. “Done. C’mon.”
The moment he dropped the pen, he got to his feet. He didn’t wait for her either, he simply reached down to the freshly inscribed arm and yanked. 
“Fuck--!” She yelped, landing rather clumsily on her feet. “We should probably walk, there’s a rusty’s round the corner.”
“Eh,” He shrugged, starting off at a walk. “Car’ll be fine.”
-
The sun streamed through the window as Becca stirred. 
She frowned as she moved her cheek, before realising that she wasn’t on the sofa at all. In fact, this didn’t feel very floor like either. She cracked open an eye to reveal that she was in fact, lying on a chest.
She blinked, jerking back, before remembering who it was. Johnny was still sound asleep, his glasses pushed up onto his hair, face almost pressed into the sofa cushion. One of his hands was heavy on her back, the other flopped above his head.
She couldn’t remember the events that had led them there, but at least they were clothed. That suggested that they hadn’t done anything life changing-ly horrific. She slid off him, gently replacing his hand back onto his torso when she had landed on the floor.
Her arm itched. It could have been burning because she was still flustered from where, or who she woke up on. But as she glanced down and saw it wrapped, memories from the night previous flooded back.
They had crashed the car in the end, into a lampost, before staggering into Rusty’s. The tattoo artist almost told them to leave before they realised who they were dealing with.
Becca pressed her fingers to her lips to try and hide her smile as she realised her name was on him too. They would laugh it off, because of course they would, and go about their day. 
But it would always be there, all she had to do was look down.
“Hey,” She got to her feet, jostling him. “Johnny wake up.”
He groaned, trying to press his face into the cushion. She had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing.
“Johnny,” She murmured. He didn’t move. “Johnny!”
“Wass--” He shook himself awake, blinking blearily at her. “Oh. ‘Sup.”
“Morning princess,” She grinned, watching him frown. “How many aspirins do you need?”
“None,” He grunted, lips turning to a scowl. “I’m a’ight.”
“Liar.”
She rounded past him to get to the kitchen, listening to him grumble and groan to himself. They were both in dire need of a coffee and some pills, and she was nothing if not a deliverer. 
“B?” He called from the living room. “Yo, Becca, come here for a sec.”
She placed down the aspirins, knowing exactly what he had called her in for. She saw him, now sat up, staring at her signature on his arm.
“You got mine,” He was still staring at it. “Right?”
Becca took a seat across from him. His glasses were still in his hair, so she could see his eyes scanning over the ink on his skin.
“Yup.”
“That makes you a branded woman,” He raised an eyebrow, sounding way too flirty for the time it was. “All the men an’ women in Stilwater are gonna see that fucker from miles away.”
Becca rose a solitary eyebrow in return. “Not sure I like those implications.”
He had picked up on her fake disgust in an instant. His smirk grew the more he watched her, his eyes momentarily dipping down to his own name on her arm;
“Heh. Sure you don’t.”
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jikooksoutro · 6 years ago
Text
teacher’s pet
word count: 1.3K
rays of light peeked through the blinds of jimin’s office, hitting jungkook’s face straight on. jimin had his face buried in jungkook’s chest. the older boy was peacefully sleeping, arms draped over jungkook’s torso. if jimin could see himself right now he’d probably jump off a cliff. both boys were sweaty despite the air conditioning that ran though the night. 
jungkook shifted slightly, digging his face into jimin’s hair in hopes of avoiding the light entering the small office. the white walls reflected the light, spreading the brightness throughout the room. it wasn’t long before jungkook gave up on trying to fall back asleep but he couldn’t move. not after seeing how comfortable jimin was. their legs were tangled together and their arms were wrapped around each other. instead, jungkook decided to enjoy the moment jimin would probably soon ask to forget. 
jungkook laid there, watching jimin breathe steadily. he had no doubt that he had a crush on jimin since day one. it still scared the shit out of him. he really had no control over his feelings when it came to jimin. it was a new feeling, of course it frightened him. no matter how hard he tried, all he thought about was the past. it had nothing to do with jimin yet it had everything to do with him. ever since his ex commited suicide he was disgusted with himself. jungkook had broken up with him just days before and to this day he blamed himself for it. after that he felt like he could never be with anyone else. the fear of causing anyone that much pain again and carrying that guilt was more than he could handle. that’s until he met jimin. his conatgious smile and soft cheeks were irresistible. the fact that he was his teacher only gave him an incentive to begin, then he got to know how caring and passionate jimin was. he got to see more than just what’s under his pants. the more he became intrigued the more he started visiting office hours, asking more questions, noticing little things about jimin like how he played with his jewelry when he was confused or didn’t have an answer, or how he tilted his head when his answers were challenged. he had been leaving him notes and coffee every morning thanks to the janitors help. he wanted jimin to notice him as more than his student. he hadn’t even thought about jaesung until yoongi brought it up and all his fears rushed back. maybe he was so infatuated with jimin because for the first time in a very very long time, jimin had made him feel...normal. he had made him feel like he was capable of finding someone, like he was no longer being tied back by his own fears. 
jungkook didn’t noticed he had been staring at jimin like a creep and jimin had been staring right back, slightly scared. 
“hi?” jungkook managed to force an awkward smile on his face. 
“good morning to you too, this isn’t weird at all” jimin said. despite his words he didn’t move. he was far too comfortable in jungkook’s arms to even care right now. 
“are you feeling better jungkook?”
jungkook nodded, very well knowing he was lying to jimin. 
“my neck hurts though, i don’t think i moved the entire night”
“you didn’t, i got up to get water from the staff room in the middle of the night and you didn’t even feel me. you’re a pretty heavy sleeper” 
“i know. one time yoongi burned his toast at 7am and he thought i wasn’t home because the building had to be evacuated and cleared by the fire department but i was still in my room asleep when everyone else was outside” 
“that’s terrible! what the hell how do you not hear a fire alarm?!” 
jungkook shrugged, tugging jimin’s hoodie over his head. 
“by the way, did you text your friends last night?” 
“yeah i did. we’re meeting up today actually”
“oh,” jimin snaked away from jungkook’s hold, forcing a quiet whine to escape. “sorry i didn’t mean to keep you here i just-“ 
“jimin it’s 6:30AM, i won’t meet with them until later in the morning. why’d you move i was so comfortable” 
jungkook stretched his arm out for jimin and jimin rolled his eyes before obliging. he once again became the little spoon and had yet to have a single care for anything else. 
“i’m honestly just really glad you’re safe”
“were you that scared?”
“i wasn’t scared i was just worried about you. you never miss class and you had stormed out the day before i just felt like i did something wrong and i felt horrible” 
“so basically you just wanted to see that i was fine to cover your own guilt?” jungkook teased. jimin lightly elbowed his side. 
“hey i was actually worried about you okay. especially after taehyung got in contact with your friend which i don’t even want to know how he did that” 
“i like taehyung, he’s funny” jungkook’s chin rested on jimin’s shoulder. 
“he may be a pain in the ass but he’s a keeper” jimin admitted. 
“anyways, i actually feel really gross” jimin reaches up to touch the slightly dampened hair at the nape of his neck. 
“me too i sweated a lot, im not really used to the body heat of another person” jungkook releases his hold on jimin and sat up, stretching his arms out. 
“shit, taehyung just texted me that he’s on his way to my place, it’s so early why the hell is he awake” jimin quickly got up, grabbing his phone off his desk and attempting to fix his hair. 
“hey, um,” jungkook stuttered. “can i, you know, come with you? i don’t really want to see yoongi before we talk things out” 
jimin stood there for a moment, debating whether he should take jungkook home with him...again. after the talk they had last night he couldn’t leave him, he was in pain still. 
“yeah, of course. you can clean up a bit too before you meet with your friends” wait what. did he just say that? oops. 
“so...” taehyung’s eyes peered up at jimin as he rubbed his head with a towel. wet hair strands landing on his forehead. 
“what?” jimin asked, tossing the damp towel on taehyung. 
“you slept together? in your office?” 
“well...yeah but it wasn’t anything weird. he was just telling me what’s going on” 
“sure” taehyung’s infamous smirk crawled into his face. “not gonna lie i’m kinda sad y’all didn’t at least make out” 
“taehyung what the hell he’s in the shower he could hear you”
“good. anyways, i’m going to take a nap” taehyung grabbed jimin’s favorite blanket, hugging it tightly as he let himself fall on jimin’s bed. 
“why are you up so early? i was shocked as fuck when you called” 
“oh,” taehyung’s eyes shot open, his lips curling into a cunning smile. “i met yoongi last night for coffee. he’s really weird, he sleeps all day but is up all night. anyways, we went to this 24hour coffee shop and just talked, it was actually really nice but we left at like 4am” 
“wow, i’m impressed. i haven’t even seen what he looks like” 
“well take my word he’s squishy as hell” 
“right, anyways i’m lending jungkook your clothes since you always leave them here and he doesn’t fit into mine without suffocating” 
it wasn’t long before jungkook stepped out of the shower and made his way out of jimin’s house. he met with all three at jin’s cafe before it opened. he knew the talk would be emotional but with jimin’s words replaying in his head, he felt comfort. 
19/?
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ellygoesnyooom · 7 years ago
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Could you do a headcanon for the RFA/V/Saeran for when MC comes and lives with them and maybe it's, like, their first night togheter (hehehe >:3c) Thank you ^^ Im really looking forward to all of your HC's!!
Ireally liked writing this one! I don’t do NSFW, so I just described their first nightsleeping in the same bed while living together. I hope you don’t mind, I’m justnot comfortable writing it yet. I may change that in the future, but fornow, no NSFW. I also hope that my future writing lives up to yourexpectations;;; Nonetheless, here you go! Enjoy~
 Edit: I did a whoops and forgot V, so you can find him here!
Yoosung
Oh man is this boy nervous
He can barely take good care of himself, and now you arecoming to live with him???
He is very helpful while you are bringing boxes of yourbelongings in, careful not to drop them and to set them where you want them togo
He also is very careful while helping you unpack, hedoesn’t want to break anything and make you upset
He seems to forget that you are moving in until you comeout in your pajamas with a toothbrush in your mouth asking where his washragsare
H E I S F R E A K I N G O U T
“Yoosung, is something wrong? I just asked for awashrag…” “Yeah, I-I’m good, uhhhh” he doesn’t even remember where his washragsare oh lord
“U-underneath the sink, yeah!” yay he remembered
Once you two go to bed, he is stiff as a board on theedge of the bed, trying to give you enough space
You physically have to drag him over to you and wrap hisarms around you to get him to loosen up
When you wake up though, he is gripping you, both handsand legs around your body
Yoosung pls MC needs to pee
Once he wakes up, he acts like you have been living therethe whole time, even going to make you breakfast aaawwwww give this boy somelove okay
Zen
He is super careful not to let the beast out on you
He has to be a gentleman; it’s your first night livingwith him
Totally shows off his strength while bringing in yourboxes zen stop
You two spend the day unpacking, and by the time nightrolls around, he’s pretty much forgotten that you are coming to stay
“Zen, I’m getting tired.” “Oh, I can’t keep a lady fromher beauty sleep! I’ll let you get going home.” “Uh…. I am home?” “…oh yeah”
While you go and get ready for bed, he is trying to chilland figure out where to sleep
When you walk out in your pajamas, he is just like O.O
Control the beast zen lol
“You can sleep in the bed, I’ll take the couch.” “Zen, youdon’t need to do that. We are dating!” “But… what if the beast comes out?”“What if I want it to come out?” MC don’t do this to him
When you finally get him to go to bed with you, likeYoosung, he is stiff as a board
Not even you curling up into his side calms this man down
When you fall asleep, he just looks down at you sleeping,head on his chest, and it all hits him
You were his, you weren’t going anywhere. Even if thebeast did come out, that wouldn’t stop you from staying beside him, because youchose to come live with him
This realization calms him down, and he is finally ableto gently reposition you so that he is lying down with you circled in his armsand fall asleep
Little known fact about him, though: he is h o t
Like, you wake up in the middle of the night drenched insweat and need to pry yourself out from his arms lol
Jaehee
She is very considerate of you, making sure you arecomfortable in her home
She doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable, or feel like youdon’t belong there
Helps you bring in your boxes and lets you set up yourbelongings like you want to
When you are done unpacking and settling in, you both sitdown on the couch, curled under a blanket, and watch some of Zen’s musicals
She starts to get sleepy before you, and you could seeher nodding off
When you suggested you two went to bed, she insisted onwatching the rest of the musical
Five minutes later, her head is on your shoulder andlittle snores are escaping her parted lips
AWWWWWW
You didn’t want to move her, and eventually you fellasleep too
She wasn’t there when you woke up, but you found her inthe kitchen making coffee for you and her
“I’m sorry for falling asleep on you last night, MC, Ishould have-“ “No.” You aren’t having any of that
You go over and wrap your arms around her, and she sighs,leaning into you. “I’m happy you are here, MC.”
You smile and press a kiss to her cheek. “Me too.”
Jumin
Okay, this man needs everything perfect
He won’t let you lift a finger, instead having his guardsbring up the boxes
You two just sit and watch something you want to watch onthe tv while drinking a glass of wine ofc
Once all the boxes are in, he allows you to start puttingyour belongings where you want
He helps, and asks questions about all of your prizedpossessions, wanting to know what they represented and why they were so special
He just wants to know everything about you okay
You two end up on his bed, your favorite possession inyour hands as you leaned against Jumin and told him stories about yourchildhood
You slowly nodd off, your words coming slower and sloweruntil you completely relax against him and fall asleep
He just watched you, memorizing every detail of yoursleeping face
He never felt more in love with you than in that moment,and he didn’t know how to handle this surge of emotion
So he took the little item out of your hands, set it tothe side, and slowly lifted you up slightly to put you under the covers, andslid in next to you, wrapping his arms around your sleeping form
He was still dressed, but you had changed into yourpajamas earlier in the night, so he wasn’t worried and fell asleep holding you
When you woke up, you were alone except for Elizabeth,who was curled up by your head and purring
You went into the kitchen to see him standing in front ofthe stove, a spatula in his hand and apron covering his front
“Good morning, my love. You must be hungry; the pancakeswill be done soon” JUMIN AAA
This man loves you so much okay give him all the love
 Seven/Saeyoung
HE! IS! SO! EXCITED!
While you are unpacking, he asks questions abouteverything you pull out that is not clothing unless it is lingerie or anonesie lol
He wants to try on all of your clothing seven please no
Instead of unpacking and putting everything in its new home,you two end up playing with the various objects you brought
Saeran is pretty much hiding in his room for the wholeday, he wants nothing to do with you two
By the time it reaches midnight, you have unpacked lessthan half of your boxes dangit seven
He wasn’t tired, as his body was still trying to returnto a regular sleep schedule, but you were, so you changed into your pajamas andcrawled into his bed
And he is just sitting there nosebleeding because youlook so cute in his bed???
He changes as well and slides under the covers besideyou, but he is still awake long after you fell asleep
He is just sitting there, thinking up a storm ofworrisome thoughts.
What if you aren’t happy here? What if you are doing thisjust to make him happy? What if you decide you aren’t happy with him and leave?What if, what if, what if?
You woke up around 4am to him shaking and crying besideyou, and you quickly sit up and wrap your arms around him, holding him to yourchest and running your hands through his hair soothingly as he tells you all ofhis worries and fears
You wait until he calms down and stops shaking before youassure him you aren’t leaving, that you are happy and love him
Once he hears this, he is able to stop crying and laydown wrapped in your arms and fall asleep
When he wakes up, you are still in bed, an arm around himwhile you played on your phone
He decided then, as he sat up and pressed kisses to theside of your face, that he is the happiest man on earth, as long as he had youbeside him
Saeran
This was a big step for him, and to say he was nervouswas an understatement
It took a long time for him to open up to you and becomfortable doing couple things such as cuddling, holding hands, kissing
So asking you to move in was h u g e
The whole time you were bringing boxes in with Saeyoung,he was sitting in his room shaking, close to a panic attack
You realized he wasn’t around and had Saeyoung bring therest of the boxes in so you could go find him
You knocked on his door, and he snapped at you, mostlikely assuming you were his brother
“Saeran, honey, it’s me. Can I come in?” Silence, thenfinally the doorknob twisted and the door opened enough to let you in
He shut it quickly behind you, not showing his face, andretreated to his bed, knees drawn to chest and forehead onknees
You quickly went over and sat by him, asking if you couldhug him
When he didn’t immediately say no, you scooted up to himand slipped your arms around him. He leaned against you, and you two just satin silence, until finally, he started to speak.
“MC, I’m afraid. What..what if I hurt you? What if youdecide you don’t like me, and leave? I’m fucked up; I don’t know why you stillwant to be with me. My idiot brother is probably-“ you didn’t let him finishthat statement
“Saeran, please look at me.” When he didn’t lift his head, you gently forced his head up to look at you. His eyes werepuffy and red, cheeks streaked with tears o w my heart
“I won’t be leaving you, okay? I went into thisrelationship knowing that you are broken, so don’t worry. And don’t you daresay anything about your brother being better for me, because you are the one Ilove, and want to care for, okay? Let’s just try to be happy that this ishappening, okay?”
This seemed to calm him, and he nodded, relaxing a littlebit
You left him to calm down and started to unpack,and a little while later, he came out and silently kneeled down beside you,asking what he could do to help
Up until that point, you and Saeyoung had been workingtogether to unpack your things, but now that Saeran came out, Saeyoung left youtwo to work together
You two worked on setting your belongings up in their newhomes, and finally retreated to his room around 10pm
He wasn’t sold on sleeping together, but you insisted, sohe tried it
You didn’t cuddle with him, instead sticking to the edgeof your side of the bed and allowed him to choose what he wanted to do
When you woke up though, you were towards the middle ofthe bed, and he had his arm draped over you and head against your side as heslept
When he woke up, he didn’t immediately move, insteadmurmuring a little ‘good morning’ and tightening his arm around you with alittle yawn
After that first night, he seemed much more comfortablewith the thought of living with you, and everything from then on went muchsmoother
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spacyparker · 7 years ago
Text
Prompts list
Okay guys this is a huge prompt list, feel free to send me a request with one or more prompts. Just tell me if you want it with Peter Parker or Tom Holland and I’ll write it as soon as possible !
Also, you can check my masterlist here
01.  "Whatever you're going to ask, the answer is No!"
02.  “Why did you scream like that ?”
03.  "I don't think I could live alone again."
04.  "She doesn't understand you like I do."
05.  "You've taken her back? You can't be serious?"
06.  "There's someone in the house!"
07.  "A boy needs his father."
08.  "Why didn't he come and talk to me himself?"
09.  "Oh my God. You're in love with her."
10.  "Is that my shirt?"
11.   "There’s only one bed."
12.  "If you get me his phone, I might reconsider."
13.  "I'm sorry if it upsets you, but I'm going to marry her."
14.  "I'll find her and bring her home, I promise."
15.  "Am I under arrest, or not?"
16.  "What's in that bag and why are you hiding it here?"
17.  "For some reason, I'm attracted to you."
18.  "You make me feel like I'm not good enough."
19.  "Do you ever think we should just stop doing this?"
20.  "Did you enjoy yourself last night?"
21.  "Could you be happy here with me?"
22.  "I have to do something to help that child."
23.  "You stand there and accuse me, but where were you at the time?"
24.  "This isn't just about you. It's about what's best for all of us."
25.  "He was unconscious when I found him"
26.  "You embarrassed me this evening."
27.  " Does he know about the baby ?"
28.  "I think you’re just afraid to be happy."
29.  "What do you mean, he's escaped?"
30.  "If we both stick to the story, they can't prove anything."
31.  "I've been checking you out."
32.  "Darling, it's beautiful, thank you!"
33.  "You're paying a small price compared with what she's going through."
34.  "I miss moments like this more than anything."
35.  "Do you think he crashed the car on purpose?"
36.  "Well, this is where I live."
37.  "I don't often get the chance to talk to someone like you."
38.  "You have his eyes."
39.  "I'm telling you - the guy was a complete stranger, just walked up and gave me the bag."
40.  "If you do this, you will be dead to me."
41.  "I never meant to come between you and him."
42.  "The way you flirt is shameful."
43.  "I'm your daughter."
44.  "Quick, hide behind the sofa!"
45.  "I just want a nice, easy life. What's wrong with that?"
46.  "No! I'm tired of doing what you say."
47.  "You were always the quiet one."
48.  "Just give me my cut of the money and I'll be out of here."
49.  "I daren't stay long. I just had to see you."
50.  "Please! Stop it! All of you!"
51.  "It looks like you're in trouble there. Can I help?"
52.  "Sweetheart, what did you bury in the garden?"
53.  "Sorry, its just that I get very nervous when someone else is driving."
54.  “You know my name?”
55.  “I just came to say goodbye.”
56.  “I’ll sleep under the sheets, you sleep on top of them.”
57.  “The skirt is supposed to be this short.”
58.  “I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever.”
59.  “Is it really you?”
60.  “You had me at ��free pizza!’”
61.  “You can’t break my heart like this!”
62.  “Do you think it’s possible that I…might be… pregnant? ”
63.  “Here, wear my jacket.”
64.  “Are you serious? Do you have to do this now?”
65.  “My parents asked about you.”
66.  “Why is there a drunk man sleeping in the bathtub?”
67.  “Can you reach it?”
68.  “Can I hold your hand?”
69.  “No one will ever hurt you again!”
70.  “I just wanted an easy day with my girlfriend. What’s so wrong with that?”
71.  “Come over here and make me, then.”
72.  “Frankly, I couldn’t care less.”
73.  “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”
74.  “Are you still awake…?”
75.  “Shut up and kiss me.”
76.  “Stop talking about the past, I could be dead in a matter of hours… make me up a future.”
77.  "Are you drunk?”
78.  “Baby, I’m on the phone.”
79.  “Where did you find this?”
80.  “I think I picked up your coffee by mistake.”
81.  “Delete that. Now.”
82.  “Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?”
83.  “We accidentally got married in Vegas oops”
84.  “This is so going on Youtube!”
85.  “They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly it seems quite dangerous.”
86.  "Look at me. Just look at me and stay awake. Can you do that?”
87.  “Isn’t this weird? Should we not be doing this?”
88.  “I beat you at Mario Kart and now you’re banishing me to the couch for the night?”
89.  “Who brought pot brownies to the bake sale?!”
90.  “You haven’t even touched your food. What’s going on?”
91.  “I’m no doctor, but you should have that looked at. It’s bleeding a lot…"  
92.  “How much sleep have you gotten in the past two days?”
93.  "Wanna dance?”
94.  “Why are you covered in mud?”
95.  “You never told me you had a fucking twin.”
96.  “Hey remember when we practiced kissing? That was stupid… right? Right?”
97.  "I see the way you look at me when you think I’m not looking.”
98.  “If you’re bored; Wanna have sex?”
99.  “This is girl talk, so leave.”
100.  “You can sing?”
101.  “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
102.  "Well….don’t keep me waiting”
103.  “I can’t swim!”
104.  “I was going to kiss him, but then my friend texted me about going to Taco Bell, and, well, there’s this cashier that works there who is way cuter, so I bailed on the rest of the date.”
105.  “I’m so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend.”
106.  “We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”
107.  “Can I touch you ?”
108.  “Wait. I didn’t mean that. Please, come back.”
109. “Is that a tattoo?”
110.  “Why are you taking so many photos?”
111. “Im too sober for this”
112. “I want to hike up your skirt and take you right here.”
113.  "That night never happened!”
114.  “Stop acting out Grease Lightning on the top of my car, I have somewhere to be!”
115.  “Here, take my hand. Everything is fine, just hold onto me and keep moving.”
116. “You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”
117. “I found it in the recycling bin.”
118.  "I thought you loved her.”
119.  “We’re in a bathtub !”
120.  “You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”
121. “I just came to say goodbye.”
122.  "Sit in my lap.”
123.  “One last time, please ?”
124. “How can you still look so attractive while crying.”
125.  “Will you be quiet?!”
126.  “Wait, you’re a virgin ?,”
127.  “I had the weirdest dream about you and now I can’t stop thinking about you naked.”
128.  “Who did the laundry? My favourite shirt is pink.”
129.  “I’ve been alone for so long..”
130.  “Are you happy now? Huh? DOES THIS MAKE YOU HAPPY?!”
131.  "It’s too late for you to be out by yourself."
132. “Choose me”
133.  "You’re lying.”
134.  “I’m trying to drive here !”
135.  “You didn’t call. You didn’t text. Nothing.”
136. “If you insist”
137.  “Time changes people.”
138.  “That’s gross ! Unless you’re up for it ?”
139.  “Sorry doesn’t fix everything.”
140.  “Breaking up, was our best choice…right?”
141.  “Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”
142.  "Did you buy me… lingerie?”
143.  “I haven’t seen you in so long, I need you.”
144.  “Maybe I’m meant to be alone.”
145.  “You have already broke down my walls, and you had to break my heart.”
146.  “Unless I screw this up again, I’m going to marry you.”
147.  “Why did you say ‘Daddy’ in your sleep?”
148.  "I’m going to walk away and pretend I didn’t see anything.”
149.  “But you promised..”
150.  “You pushed me off a building.”
151.  "Let me shower first!”
152.  "Is that… is that my bra?”
153.  "Don’t drink that! I saw that guy slip something in there!"
154.  “Ask for permission.”
155.  "You said my name in your sleep.”
156.  "You left your shirt at my house. It’s mine now."
157.  “We were just joking around, right? Please tell me you knew that.”
158. “We have to stick together.”
159.  "Do that again.”
160.  “You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”
161. “We are not going to steal someone’s dog.”
162.  “I bet you ten dollars you won’t kiss me.”
163.  “Are you an undercover cop or something?”
164.  “I heard you singing Taylor Swift in the shower this morning, are you okay?”
165.  “You can’t come here and only eat the free samples.”
166.  “How was I supposed to know there was someone in the trunk? I was just stealing the car not trying to kidnap you!”
167.  “… Where are your pants?”
168.  “You said you were good at baseball!”
169.  “Hypothetically, if I asked you out, would you say yes?”
170.  “Well, I’m happy you think of me when you’re drunk.”
171.  “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.”
172.  “That can’t be legal.”
173.  “Everyone keeps telling me you’re the bad guy.”
174.  “I need a place to stay.”
175.  “I may be smaller than you but that still doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass.”
176.  “I still have like 50% of your shirts here and I really don’t want to give them back. They smell like you and I realized I couldn’t sleep without one. So if you insist on taking them please just leave one.”
177. “Why do you keep inching closer to me?” “Cause your warm and this damn movie theater is freezing.”
178.  “If you could go back in time, would you stop yourself from meeting me?”
179.  “So, are you guys dating or?”
180.  “I’m way out of your league”
181.  “We’re never going to see each other again, are we?”
182.  “Even the idea of you being with someone else is enough to make me wish I was dead.”
183.  “Will you stop looking so surprised, it’s not like I’ve never worn a dress before.”
184.  “Tell me what I have to do to get you to forgive me? Want me to jump off a cliff? Done. Want me to hit your ex with a chair? Deal.”
185.  “Every day since you left I thought about where we went wrong and how I could get you back.”
186.  “Hey, can I hold your boobs for a sec?”
187.  “Take the long way around”
188.  “Isn’t that a bit too small for you?”
189.  “We’re out of gas, what’s your plan?”
190.  “You look… really happy. And normally, I would love that but now that I know it’s not me making you happy.. It’s just fucking with me.”
191.  “How many fingers am I holding up?” “…Zebra.” “My dude are you okay?
192. “Tell me I’m pretty before I shoot you in the dick!”
193. “My parents are coming over in 10 minutes so please put some clothes on”
194.  “I wish you’d be here in my arms right now.”
195.  “I’m not gonna stop until you beg for it.”
196.  “Stay the night. Please.”
197.  “It’s lonely without you in the bed.”
198.  “Promise me you’ll come back… I need you to promise me.”
199.  “I’m not gonna stop leaving marks ‘till I’m sure everyone will know you’re mine.”
200.  “You’re really proposing to me? For real? Now?”
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zephyroh · 7 years ago
Text
i got you (please don’t let go of me)
it’s 4am again and im having feeling about jason scott again
Read on AO3
-----
There was something wrong.
Jason couldn’t put his finger on what, but there was something not right. He felt uneasy. Like his body was trying to tell him something. He was lying in his bed – his window always opened ever since the night at the mine in because his friends had taken the habit of coming to his room whenever they wanted, usually when they needed company or comfort.
He remembered the day Pearl was born - he looked at her with wonder in his eyes, holding her tightly in his arms. He heard her laugh, and saw stars in her eyes, and vowed to himself to be the best brother in the world. Just like in the movies. He had wanted to be a superhero for her, before actually becoming one. And now he had added four persons to protect in that oath. He was, in some ways, a big brother to his team – “more like the mom friend”, had said Zack laughing one day.
He usually felt them coming, before seeing them. In was an unshakable feeling in his body, in his bone, and when they were feeling bad, it was like something was out of place. Like something in the universe had shifted, was out of balance, and he couldn’t rest until he fixed it. Like those night after an argument with his father where Pearl came to his room crying because he didn’t want them to fight, and he couldn’t sleep before reassuring her. Going to sleep knowing his baby sister was unwell was impossible. Just like if one of his teammates was having a hard time.
This night was one of those night.
He felt like crying. He felt like he was suffocating. He wanted to scream at the world, but could only lie immobile, staring at the ceiling. He could only hear the soft sound of the wind gently passing through his curtains. The light of the moon was shielded by clouds, and the only other source of light was coming from his digital alarm clock on his night stand.
4:48, it read.
The silence was almost maddening.
He waited for the familiar sound of Kimberly’s heel hitting the frame of his window. Or a pebble hitting the wall because Zack found it hilarious to throw rocks at his window even though he knew it was open. Or the soft “You up?” that Trini whispered, always afraid to wake him up. Or the sound of metal and cable in Billy’s backpack when he didn’t want to work on a project alone.
But nothing came.
It was a month after they saved Angel Grove – or the world actually – and it was the tenth night he couldn’t sleep, not knowing why.
Some night he just couldn’t get asleep.
Some night he woke up soaking with sweat, bones trembling, dread in his heart, and a scream stuck in his throat.
 -----
“Jas, you need to close your eyes if you want sleep.”
Jason blinked three time, shaking his head. He looked at the coffee machine in front of him, who had already stopped pouring coffee into his mug two minutes ago, before shifting his gaze to the little human being beside him.
Pearl was standing next to him with wide open eyes and such an innocent look on her face he couldn’t help the found smile growing on his lips.
“Why are you saying that, P?” The girl frowned and pouted at the surname while Jason smirked. “I don’t wanna be pee!”, she had cried out, horrified, the first time he called her that – and he never did stop after because her reactions where adorable.
“You wasn’t moving, like when you sleep, but with your eyes open. You have to close them.”, she answered matter-of-factly. He let out an amused laugh as his heart swelled.
“Thank you, I’ll think of that next time.”
He smothered a yawn and rubbed his tired eyes. The day was going to be long, he thought as he brought the coffee mug to his lips.
 -----
He felt like he was functioning in slow motion. Even superhero powers didn’t compensate sleep deprivation. He almost arrived late for his first class after taking too much time to prepare in the morning, and cursed himself for missing his friends before class. They would usually gang up at Billy’s locker before going their own way.
He couldn’t concentrate. The only remaining seat when he arrived was the one by the window in one of the rows at the back of the class – the perfect spot to not listen one word of what the teacher was saying and just daydream. His chin in his hand, he started dozing off, regularly jerking awake when his brain was warning him he was falling asleep.
The guilt of not listening to the class – history, the only one he actually liked – started creeping on him. He just couldn’t wait for the day to be over. He hadn’t had such a horrible day since the Power Rangers thing. Before that, he was used to waking up hating everything, and endure the day until he could come back to bed. But he hadn’t feel this way again, until now. He was not thrilled to remembered was it was like.
After two hours of pure torture, he speeded out of he classroom, eager to join his teammates. He walked into the cafeteria, mentally insulting everyone. They were making so much goddamn noise. He was definitely too tired and not caffeinated enough to deal with that.
He quickly spotted his squad at their usual spot. He felt his mood lighten up was he saw Trini and Zack fighting over their food trails while Kim was smirking and throwing crumbs of bread at them, and Billy was carefully sorting his food by colors, probably occasionally commenting on how it would be physically impossible for Trini to fit an entire bus up Zack’s bottom, and therefore pointless to try or even threaten to.
He sat in front of him, automatically putting his apple on Billy’s trail. It was his favorite fruit, and Jason was always too happy to give up his just to see Billy excitedly clap his hands. Today however, Billy merely looked up to him and thanked him, giving him a small smile, before returning to his food. Jason didn’t miss the dark circle under his eyes, and understood that he wasn’t the only one with sleep problems.
He frowned and his body only tensed more. The feeling of the night before, shaking his bones to the core, was back.
“You alright, farmboy?” Jason slightly rolled his eyes at Trini’s nickname she found for him after he told them the whole story about the cow in the locker. “You do dress up a bit like Clark Kent”, she had argued.
He felt his heart warm up at the sight of four concerned looks directed at him when he lifted his head from his food.
“Didn’t get much sleep last night, but I’ll be fine”, he answered with a tired smile. They nodded in agreement, and Trini gave him an understanding smile, looking at him intensely like she was trying to communicate with him telepathically. “I feel you”, he though she was trying to say. He nodded back, knowing it was her own way of expressing herself. Not with words, but it was just as well.
He felt kind of guilty for worrying them. He was used to be the one worrying about them. He liked that role, he wanted to care of them, and hated feeling this low and miserable.
The sound of the school bell felt like a blow in the stomach. Here we go again, for four more hours. While the others started hurryingly picking up their stuff, Jason was feeling out of it. Like in another dimension, like he was out of tune with the world. There but not quite there. He forced himself to move, trying to keep up with the rest of the student body. He saw Zack waving and blowing kisses at them, heading for the exit, and Jason knew he had decided to skip class today. Kim was teasing Trini, pulling down her beanie on her eyes as the tiny girl was feigning being mad, while they were headed to their Biology class.
Without even thinking about it, he launched himself forward, elbowing a few students as he spotted the back of Billy’s head in the crowd. He caught up to him as Billy was opening his locker. Jason smiled at the sight of the inside of it. Pictures of the five of them together, a flyer of Krispy Kreme, five tiny dinosaurs toy and carefully scotched in the back, a crumbled-up piece of paper reading “we should start a band”.
“Are you alright, Billy? You look as tired as me, and that’s not good news.”
“Jason.”, the boy acknowledges him, looking at him straight in the eyes. Jason wondered if it was the lack of sleep or the amount of caffeine he had ingested, but his heart twitched at this moment. “I’m just having a few nightmares recently. Of Rita… but it’s alright, I’m okay.”
The red ranger suddenly felt powerless at the sight of Billy’s tired – and somewhat resigned – smile. Jason wished so hard he could make all his problems go away, because Billy Cranston should never feel sad about anything in his life, ever. He was too good for this shitty world, and Jason wanted so much to protect him from it.
Billy seemed to notice the former quarterback’s sorrow, because before Jason could register what was happening, Billy was ruffling his hair.
Everything seemed to stop for Jason, even his heart. He only managed to tilt his head to the side with a questioning look on his faces, mouth half open but not trusting his vocal cords to actually be able to function at this moment.
Then Billy smiled his pure, angel-like smile, and everything momentarily felt right in the world.
“I’m cheering you up!”, he explained. “Kim does that to me when I’m feeling low, so I’m doing it to you. Zack usually makes a lot of bad jokes and then explains them to me, but I don’t know as many as him, and you know I’m not really good at jokes anyway. And Trini, she brings me food, but I don’t have any snacks on me. Besides, we just ate so it would be pointless to give you more food right now. Should have I not done that?” Billy suddenly looked worried, like he made a mistake – he was always too self-conscious even around the team, always afraid to be “weird”, as if the squad would ever feel weirded out by him.
Jason immediately snapped out of his dazed state to reassure the boy. “No! No, no absolutely not, I- it was good- well, it’s alright. You did good. It worked”, he stuttered, and it never felt this complicated to get coherent words out of his mouth.
Billy shot him a glowing smile, exuding pride because he managed to lighten up Jason’s mood, and the red ranger felt like he could breathe a little bit better, and the world was a little more colorful than this morning.
 -----
Jason stared at the sharp, red inked letter in front of him. He stared so long it felt like the letter was floating on the blank piece of the page he was holding.
He blinked. And blinked again. And stupidly pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, and regretted it immediately afterwards. He tended to forget about his superhero strength from time to time.
The classroom was buzzing around him, student putting their books in their bag, pulling chairs, talking and laughing loudly. But Jason couldn’t move.
He felt a hand on his shoulder, and lifted his head to see his teacher looking at him with a small smile.
“I’m proud of you, Jason. You really did improve. Keep up the good work.”
His eyes dropped again at the paper.
He got an A. At a math test. Him. Jason Scott. Jason Scott, who was only good at football. Jason Scott, whom only shot at having a future was a sport scholarship at a local university. Jason Scott who was constantly failing his class, and felt to depressed to even try to study. Jason freaking Scott.
He had to show it to the team.
They were all pretty good students, even Zack when he bothered to show up, and prepared a study plan for Jason when he told them, ashamed, that he wasn’t even sure he’d graduate. Without question nor his opinion on the matter, they immediately organized study sessions in between training sessions, and before long, Jason learned the pleasure of learning.
Trini helped him mostly in English, but never with the others present. She just showed up one day in his room with the reading assignment of the semester in her hands. And after an hour, Jason learned that Trini loved literature and poetry – she actually wrote some, but threatened to slit his throat if he ever mentioned it to the others, especially Kimberly who would never stop teasing her about it, and Jason still remembered the feeling of fright in his heart in front of her dead serious face. He never heard her talk as much as when she was passionately explaining the meaning of some obscure figure of style the author of the book used, and why he used it. “It’s easier to express fictional people’s feelings than my own.”, she admitted once.
Zack’s subject of predilection was physics, and he liked to dress up as old famous physician as he was moving around, his arms flipping around, talking with animation trying to explain the laws of physics to Jason, occasionally throwing apples at his head screaming “Eureka!”.
For biology it was Kim who was his assigned tutor. She wasn’t much of a pedagogue, but she had a way of vulgarizing complex mechanism about DNA and cells with simple words that made sense to Jason. They actually both hated it, but going through it together made things better and easier.
As for math… It has always been Jason’s worst nightmare. His parents had tried to get him private lesson before giving up, seeing that there was no results. Not matter how hard he tried, how long he could tire his eyes on an exercise, nothing made sense to him.
But then Billy came along. It came so naturally to the boy, he made it look easy. And the blue ranger loved that he could monologue as long as he wanted about math, Jason would never complain. When Billy noticed there was something Jason wasn’t getting, he tried to explain it in another way, and in another if it was still not enough, again and again until Jason understood. Step by step, Jason started to catch up on his lacunas, and God knew there was a long way to go.
Until this day. Because this day, his efforts were rewarded, and he owed it all to his friends.
He jolted out of his seat, suddenly filled with energy. He almost ran up the hallway leading to Billy’s locker, which Zack was already leaning against. He strode swiftly to reach up the boys and planted himself in front of Billy.
“I’m going to hug you now.”, he announced. “Is that okay?”
Billy nodded, a bit surprised and confused, but relaxed as soon as he felt Jason arms around him. Jason knew he was still getting used to physical contact. The red ranger tilted his head to press Billy’s body even harder against him and his nose ended up grazing the boy’s neck for a slipt of a second. As he felt Billy shudder, he released his grasp, fearing that it was too much for Billy. But as they separated, the other boy seemed fine, even happy if not still confused.
Jason realized he was staring a bit too long at Billy’s dark brown eyes when Zack’s voice startled him.
“Hey, man, I want some love too!”, he joked, and Jason hoped he didn’t notice the redness of his cheeks. “Why so sappy?”.
Jason brandished the paper he was still holding in his hand, harboring a proud smile. As Zack took in the information, a similar smile appeared on his lips.
“Yeah, that’s awesome dude! You’re a genius now”. He put his arms around Jason for a quick hug, patting firmly the red ranger’s back.
A confused Billy appeared near Zack, countersigning his neck to look at the paper, and his eyes grew wide with excitement when the saw the “A” at the top of the paper. He started hoping around, clapping his hand and laughing excitedly.
“Something to celebrate?” Kim’s voice came from behind Jason. He spun on his heels, with a wide grin still on his face as her and Trini – the two always looked like they were joined by the hip – raised their eyebrows.
He answered simply,
“Billy turned me into a math genius!”
 -----
Jason sighed heavily. Then let out a groan. Then slammed his fit against his mattress out of frustration.
3:27. The glowing, dimmed light of his alarmed clock seemed to be mocking him.
He felt the impulse to throw it against the wall, then decided against it out of fear of waking up his little sister. But he just wanted to break something.
Exhaling slowly, he tried to relax his fist, then the muscles of his forearms, then his entire body. He concentrated as he remembered Trini’s words when she was teaching him yoga one night, at the top of a cliff near the mine.
“Focus on your breathing and the beating of your heart. The more you think about that, the less you think about everything else.”
After what felt like an eternity, Jason noticed his mind had already started to wander off, and he felt himself giving up. Shooting a glance at the time, a deep sense of despair crushed him as his saw the red numbers.
3:51.
Son. Of. A. Bitch.
He clenched his jaw and pressed his palm against his forehead where drips of sweat were starting to form.
Instinctively, he took his phone, which was resting on the nightstand, in his hand. He paused for a second, staring at the numerous apps on the screen – which was at the lowest setting of luminosity but still hurt his eyes – decided what he wanted to do.
Trying to ignore the feeling carved in his gut, he opened his text messages. Without thinking, he just followed his impulse, and tapped on one of the conversation.
“Hey, you up?”
After five minutes of silence from his phone, he stared at the name of the contact one last time. Billy Boy.
He felt empty as he put down the phone next to him, then turned around in his bed.
 -----
When he woke up, tears were burning his eyes, and he didn’t know if his heart was crushed in his chest or if he wanted to rip it out of his ribcage himself.
It took him three whole minutes for his limbs to stop shaking, and five for the sobbing to cease.
Even though he was sure he knew exactly why he was crying when he woke up, the memories were already starting to fade away. The feeling of frustration was almost too unbearable.
Blue lips. A still body, too still. Rigid. Numbness. Clouns in his mind.
He clenched his eyes shut just and let out a whimper.
Weight in his arms. A loud thump on wood. Rope gliding through metal.
Tears were running down his face again and he hugged his knees tightly against his chest.
Electricity. The rope stopping abruptly. Opened eyes, but a blank, lifeless look.
Jason buried his head in his arms.
Billy was alright. Billy was alive. It was just a nightmare. Billy was fine. Billy was alive.
He repeated those words like a mantra In his head until his body finally calmed down.
The clock was now reading 5:05.
Wiping his tears with the blanket, he mechanically reached out for his phone again. His heart skipped a bit when he pressed the button to light up his screen. Billy Boy.
He fumbled on his phone, trying to unlock it as fast as he could.
“Yes, bad dream again ☹ Why? Everything alright?” Send forty-five minutes after his own text. He cursed himself for having missed it, for not having been there for Billy when he woke up from his own nightmare.
“I just couldn’t sleep…”, he texted back. As he was hesitating to elaborate, to explain that his first instinct was to reach out to Billy, the sight of three jumping dots made his heart race. Before he could do anything – strangely his first impulse was to throw the phone away – another text popped up.
“Seems like you still can’t :p”, immediately followed by the dots again. Jason waited patiently, smiling softly at the emojis Billy loved to use and sometimes, overuse.
“Sorry, I didn’t want to be mean. It sounded mean. I was thinking: “what would Zack say in this situation?” Was it mean?”
“It’s alright, don’t worry 😊  I had a nightmare too, just woke up.”, he replied.
He suddenly felt a little bit better, imagining Billy’s rambling voice in his head. Relaxing, he waited again while Billy was typing… only to nearly choke on his saliva when the words appeared in front of his eyes.
“Maybe next time we should sleep together!”
Jason froze on the spot, forgetting to even breathe and he read the text three times to make sure his eyes were not playing games with him.
“That way we won’t be alone having bad dreams :p”
Air slithered back into his lungs, and Jason refused to acknowledge to himself that he was blushing.
And this moment, the thoughts keeping him from sleeping were all kind of different from the ones before.
 -----
Jason mentally cursed himself when he greeted Billy and a blush crept onto his face ; Billy didn’t make it any easier for the red ranger when he didn’t stop when approaching Jason, and rather wrapped his arms around him. He only had his reflex to thank when he reciprocated the hug on auto-pilot, because his mind was racing, and his body was feeling too much all at once.
“Wh-what that for?”, Jason managed to get out, trying his best not to sound weird – and probably failing.
“I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I actually did sleep much better after we talked, or rather texted. Well, even though it was for a short time because it was early. But I feel better than yesterday.”, Billy exclaimed, smiling happily. “Jason, are you okay? You look weird? Did you not sleep at all after?”.
“Yeah, no, I did actually. I’m-“. He shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearing his throat, avoiding Billy’s eyes as he pushed back the thoughts he had this morning in the back of his mind. “I’m good.”, he added, finally meeting his friend gaze.
Then without thinking, Jason saw his hand raise itself to land on Billy’s head, gently ruffling the boy’s hair. Realizing what he was doing, Jason froze as his eyes widened. He was starting to positively panic when Billy merely tilted his head, confused look on his face, not embarrassed in the least.
“Don’t worry, I’m not sad, Jason. I just told you, I’m really feeling better.”
 -----
“Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’ve been acting off for a couple of days now.”
Jason jumped in his seat as a pile a book loudly landed on the table, right in front of him. Kim promptly dropped herself unceremoniously in the seat next to him, crossing her arms, a serious yet concerned look on her face.
Jason sighed. He knew pretending would be useless with Kimberly. She was too perceptive for that.
“I- I don’t know actually.”, he answered, waving his arms around to illustrate his words. “I’m just either having horrible nightmares or I have insomnias.”
He turned to face her and was surprised to meet a raised, unimpressed eyebrow. She was expecting something else. She blankly started at him as seconds passed by, apparently not intending to speak, nor letting him off the hook.
“… Okay fine, there’s maybe something else.” A satisfied smirk grew on her lips. He cursed her under his breath. “Never become a shrink, you’d be horrible.”
He swallowed his saliva with difficulty, trying to make sense of the turmoil in his mind.
“I’m having weird feelings… about Billy.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Like the blinds were suddenly opening in a dark room and light was coming through. Like a dam had just exploded and water was flowing through. “I keep seeing him dead in my dream, Kim. I just can’t erase the imagine of him just- lying there, on the dock, not breathing. So, when we’re together, I just- It’s like I constantly want to make sure he’s alive, that’s he’s here with us. I’m always catching myself looking him out, like when I walk into a room I automatically look for him. It’s like I don’t want to get him out of my sight. Wow, that’s sounded creepy, didn’t it? But then, there’s sometimes the way he smiles to me, or talks to me, or looks at me, or just is- It’s weird, I don’t know how to describe the feeling…”
The words kept pouring out of his lips like he couldn’t stop them. Kim’s simple, knowing smile made him feel better, and something in her eyes just made him realize. It dawned on him harder than the train hit them that night.
“Is that- Is that how you feel about Trini?”
And the pink ranger simply nods, smiling ever so calmly. She didn’t say a word, and didn’t have to. Jason just had to figure it out by himself, he just needed a push.
He just sat there a while, mouth opened and jaw hanging low – he knew he probably looked like an idiot but there was too much on his mind for him to care. After a while, Kim finally spoke out, putting a gently hand on his arms, squeezing it.
“You almost lost him. Well, you actually did lose him for a while. It’s normal if you’re a mess. It’s okay. Just talk to him about it.
And that was just about the most terrifying thing he’d ever heard.
 -----
Jason couldn’t sleep.
Again.
But this time was different. He was just restless, thinking, pacing around his room, sometimes picking up his phone, staring at it for a second before putting it down. And repeating the process all over again.
He had to jump off the cliff. He had to talk to Billy. But it was easier to agree with Kim than to actually do it.
He sat on his bed with vigor, taking a deep breath, taking the small object into his hand. His heart throbbing in his chest, he looked intensely at the black screen… which lighted up as the phone vibrated.
Billy Boy.
As panic ran through his veins; he let out a shrill scream and impulsively throwed his phone on the pillows across the bed.
Rolling his eyes at his own reaction, he picked up the phone again to answer the text.
“I’m afraid to fall asleep. Can I come over?”
Once again, Jason froze. Then laughed nervously. And started to hyperventilate a bit.
As his fingered were slightly trembling, he typed “Of course, the window is always open!”, trying to figure out if it sounded chill enough.
He was actively trying to calm his heart beating loudly in his chest when Billy came through the window, landing carefully next to Jason’s bed – who couldn’t hold a found smile when he saw Billy’s batman pajamas.
The blue ranger put down his bag before hoping into Jason’s bed, immediately rolling the covers around him. He breathed in deeply before casually saying “Thank you, Jason. Your smell always calms me down. That’s why I take some of your shirts sometimes. But I’ll give them back, I’m not a thief don’t worry. “
Jason wondered if Billy was in fact actively trying to kill him, or if he was just oblivious to the effect he had on the red ranger. He also wondered if the boy could see, despite the darkness, that he was as red as his armor in this very moment.
“Of course, anytime you need”, and his voice sounded a bit off to his ears.
As Billy was making himself comfortable, Jason thought he was never going to get sleep. And at his grand surprise, he actually did start to feel himself slip into slumber when he closed his eyes, feeling the heat emanating from Billy’s body next to him, listening to the boy’s calm breathing, his own body relaxing.
 -----
It was either the hands shaking his shoulder or the voice in his ears that woke up him.
He had that same feeling of panic in his chest than that night.
He was covered in sweat, body shaking and he felt the cold air hitting his damped cheeks. But then…
Warms palm running through his back, his forearms. A soft voice whispering calming words. Then hands on his hair, across his cheeks, and on his back again.
“It’s okay, Jason. It was just a dream. I’m here. I’m right here.”
Jason’s body relaxed all at once, crashing against Billy who reaffirmed his grip to a just at the sudden weight. Jason’s head landed on the boy’s shoulder, his nose grazing lightly Billy’s neck. And at this moment, in this position, he absolutely understood was Billy was saying about comforting smell.
“You kept calling me in your sleep. And then you started to get agitated.”
“You were dead.”, Jason said simply. His tone was grave, heavy with a sob that was about to burst.
‘You were dead.”, he repeated, as tears started to form at the corner of his eyes, shoulders shaking abruptly.
“I just- I don’t know how to deal with that.”
Billy squeezed his arms around Jason, holding him even closer. He took Jason’s wrist, placing it against his torso, against his heart which rhythm was as fast paced as Jason’s.
“But I came back. You brought me back. And I’m here, Jason. I’m here with you, right now.”
He could feel Billy’s breath against his cheeks as the boy was pressing his forehead against Jason’s temple. The thumb of Billy’s hand was gently caressing Jason’s, still placed against the blue ranger’s torso. Jason’s adjusted his position to that his forehead rested against Billy and lifted his chin a bit. His fingers pressed harder against the other boy’s chest, digging into the flesh.
“It was so horrible…”. His voice cracked and Billy answered by squeezing him ever harder.
“Let it out, Jason. It’s okay. I got you.”, he whispered against Jason’s lips.
Jason’s heart exploded at those words, and as their lips met, the universe seemed balanced again.
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