#now i take my pill back to back my hormones are even more messed up istg :(

[frodo-baggins]

having one of those days where everything is upsetting me and i’ve had to battle bursting into tears in public more than once and now i’m on the brink of crying in the kitchen when my entire family’s in the next room 😔

[igotanidea]

Loose control: Jason Todd x reader

NSFW! MDNI!

warnings: smut, oral, mention of hormonal contraception and swearing.

***

She was confused.

In her best knowledge, she believed that if anything, going on a pill would make her moody, whiny and oversensitive, therefore not fond of sex.

Instead she found herself hot and bothered and needy at every fucking second of every fucking day!                                                                                                                                                         

Her thoughts were filled with dirty, steamy scenarios, definitely not involving any clothes at all.

Certain smells were reminding her of the moments they used to share together, tangled in the sheets in each other’s arms.

Hell! Even sounds were making her so fucking horny!

“Hey babe, you good? You look a little-“

Before Jason could form his concerns into words, her lips were on his and her hands in his hair. She was not good. And she definitely looked a little whatever, but at that moment it was not important at all. What mattered though, was getting his hands on her body as soon as possible, under the threat of her combusting from desire. God, she needed him now and long and hard. The way her hormones were messed up due to contraception could really put Ivy’s sex pollen to shame, but at this point Y/N was way past pretending and holding back.

Meanwhile, Jason, instead of putting his hands on her, according to her silent wishes, raised them both in the air in pure shock. What happened to his girl? To the one who never ventured further than missionary? To the one who refused to let him eat her out for the longest time due to (quote) thick thighs and belief she did not deserve it? To the one who was always so shy and timid? And now she was all over him?

Not that he complained, but before he got as much as a glimpse of a chance to wrap arms around her waist and pull her on top of him, she withdrew.

“I’m sorry-“

“Come back here-“ he muttered this time doing all the things his body was commanding him to. He was never the one to refuse his girl, especially not when she was initiating one, for once. It was fucking hot to see her like this.

Their tongues entwined in an intricate ballet, dancing on the thin edge between soft passion and roughness, testing the barriers, almost teasing the other to step over the bridge. He lead and she followed. That was how it always was. But this time was about to be different.

She needed control. She wanted control.

Or even more – she demanded it.

And from the moment he spread her legs so she could straddle him, things were about to deviate from established order.

“Y/N…” Jason whispered in her ear, kissing her neck in so familiar way, his hands moving up her body, over her thighs, lifting the hem of her dress in the process, tracing over her hips and resting there, starting to guide her movements, even if they were both still in clothes and –

“No.” she suddenly said, grabbing his hands and patting them away.

“No?” Jason repeated, his voice and face full of mixed feelings including confusion, amusement and leniency. “No?”

The hell?

Y/N was refusing him the pleasure she knew he could bring her.

But a second ago she was ready to take what she wanted from him, not caring whether he liked it or not.

The fuck was going on?!

“Not like that.” She elaborated, easing the anger stemming from within him “Not like always…”

“Oh, so my feisty vixen wants something new?”

“Something like that” she smirked

“Let me see…” he switched position a little, making sure that his already erect cock brushed over her core. “There are so many positions I want to try with you. You were so shy during all this year, we have a lot to experience together…” while he was whispering those sweet promises against her body, his tongue dared to taste her skin.

“Mmm. No…” she muttered again, though it was a little harder this time. Reaching to the deepest layers of her strength she managed to push him onto his back, so she was towering over him.

“Oh, I see…” he smirked, crossing arms over his head. “If that's the way you want to play, be my guest tonight baby. I’m more than curious to see what- oh! Fuck!”

His mocking tone was cut off abruptly when she grind against him. Just once. Through the clothes. But for some reason, unbeknown to either of them, there was something so deeply sensual about Y/N taking control it only fueled the intensity.

And seeing the way his face was already twisting with need for more?

Let’s just say that good girl Y/N was gone instantly.

“Come on baby, don’t stop now. Loose control for me…” he muttered, grabbing onto her hips, ready to tear off that stupid dress from her body. Anything to get that warm, wet folds clenching over his shaft.

“Stay down, boy.” She patted his hands away and onto the bed. “No touching until I say so, you hear me?”

 “Fuck…” the fire in her eyes melt all the objections and refusals he might have.

“Be a good boy for me or I’ll have to bind you…”

As much as he wouldn’t mind going a little rough, binding was something he wouldn’t handle well, dur to his past experiences, so the only thing left to do was nod his head. Yes, he’ll be a good boy if that meant continuance of watching her transform into some sort of sex goddess above him.

Even if keeping his hands to himself might also result in torn-up sheets.

Y/N only smiled wilder and placed both hands on his chest, running them all over, relishing in the sense and scope of control over both his and her pleasure she was having now. Purposefully, tracing his muscles over the material of his shirt, touching all the places she knew was making him harder and more needy.

Under any other circumstances, he would hate being toyed with like that and his head would fill in with the memories where he was forced to stay sill while someone else’s hands were torturing him. But this was Y/N. His Y/N. His woman, who was only the bringer of pleasure, in one form or another. And now it took the form of her pampering him and being reduced to clay she was forming to her liking. 

When she was done with testing his self-control, almost making him wet his pants she focused on putting her hands to some other use.

Still straddling him, she traced over her thighs, slowly, sensually, then her hips, lifting them off his bulge, swaying a little, causing him to burn and grit his teeth. The hem of her dress was going higher in time with her deft fingers, slowly moving to her waist. That tantalizing waist that was meant to be gripped by him, but instead was caressed by her soft touches while Jason could only watch and fantasize.  At this point he could see the edge of her tiny panties, so infuriatingly close and already moist from her own arousal.

And then came her breasts, palms moving over to those perfectly round soft molds, touching, squeezing and forcing sweet sounds from the back of her throat.

Fuck.

She was moaning and throwing her head back, imagining him touching her like this.

He was groaning, digging nails into the mattress, envisioning quite the same thing.

“Take that dress off…” he couldn’t stop himself from the silent plea, throwing himself to the knees of this powerful celestial being that his woman became.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” she teased, slowly lifting the material higher and higher until after what seemed like forever, it was gone from her body and carelessly tossed aside, messing her hair while being taken over her head.

“Y/N…” he gasped

“Hush. Hush baby…”  she reached behind her to remove her bra, sliding straps of it down her arms first, exposing her shoulders, before undoing the clasp and shaking it off completely. Biting her bottom lip, messing her hair up with one hand, while using the other to play with her breasts, she was giving him an erotic show he would never expect from her. What happened to this shy girl, insecure in bed? Now she was grinding on him, making him use all his strength to not cum in his pants, while she was a sex goddess above him.

“Fuck!” despite all the promises at this moment there were zero chances for him to stay still. His arms shoot up, cupping those soft globes, thumbs finding ways to nipples, circling around them like a lion hunting the gazelle. Her skin was burning, instantly covered with goosebumps under his touch, immediately craving for more.

It would be so easy to just give in, let him continue, melt into his touch, surrender. And it was his sole intention. To make her putty. Remind her of what he could do for her. How explosive it was when he was guiding.

“I said no touching…” she managed to squeeze out.

“I don’t care. I want to touch you and I will –“

She cuts him off again, stopping her erotic act and crawling to his lips, brushing her naked upper body against his like a wild feline, kissing him hungrily.

He was defenseless. Boneless. She got so deep under his skin that all that was left was the empty shell of a man, allowing his owner to use him in any way she found pleasing.

One more try at squeezing her butt and tearing off her panties ended with a bite mark on his neck and complete surrender.

“Y/N!” he groaned when she kneeled above him, slowly sliding that little fabric of her most intimate part, hovering above him.

“Make a wish baby and I might grant it...” she whispered leaning to his ear, kissing that sensitive spot behind it.

She was driving him to ecstasy faster than F1 bolide, making him barely able to corner.

“What do you want Jason….?”

“Fuck!” he squirmed under her, the view of her naked folds just inches above his jeans causing his head to spin.

“can you maybe make one sentence for me?” she mocked lowering herself on his bulge and rocking on it. Once. Just fucking once.

At his point all he could imagine was her wet, soft, warm inside squeezing his cock, milking him dry, taking him hard and rough. His face was flushed, lips parted.

“Like that?” Y/N teased again, repeating her actions, making it almost painful, judging by low grunts and groans. “don’t worry, baby… I;m not a monster you know…”

Finally she started to remove the belt from his pants.

Undoing the button.

Opening the fly.

Sliding the material down his legs (with a little bit of his help in the form of kicking those fucking obstacles)His boxers did nothing to cover the rock hard length.

And she was the one who did this to him.

“All for me?” she whispered with a glint in her eyes, caressing the piece of skin just above his boxers line.

“Only for you…”

“Very good…”

Once his underwear was down, no holds were barred.

However –

He did not expect what she was going to do next.

Instead of going for a cowgirl she bent her head down, sending him a teasing smirk and planting little kisses on his abs.

“Y/N…” he groaned, fighting between stopping and not stopping her. “You don’t have to-“ every other word was harder to formulate, replaced by deeper and louder grunts in time with the descent of her lips. “I don’t want to force you and – Fuck!”

She was as far from being forced as possible.

Taking the tip into her warm mouth. Just the tip, but the sensations were already so intense his mind was spinning.

“Y/N!” they were definitely going to have to buy a new set of linen.

Her tongue swirled around his tip in an almost practiced way and despite everything he started wondering where the hell did she learnt that?! Not with him and from what he knew, not with any other guy.

She was a natural.

Or a witch, that casted a spell on him, reducing this huge muscled man to the whimpering little boy, craving more.

And just when he thought it couldn’t get better she took more of his length inside. Not all of it, but with the way her tongue and hand cooperated in pleasuring him, he didn’t even notice anything else.

“Y/N!”

She bobbed her head up and down a little faster.

“Y/N!”

This was getting too good.

His hand tangled in her hair guiding her movements, the other squeezing her shoulder almost painfully, the force he used about to leave the skin bruising in purple.

“Y/N!”

The way he was calling her name was causing her own body to shiver and writhe on the bed, bringing him even closer to ecstasy.

“Fuck!”

She scratched his thigh hoping to finally make him finish.

“NO!” he grabbed her head harshly, pulling her away from his cock and upwards, capturing her lips in a bruising, predatory kiss, dominating her again. For a few seconds they fought for control, but finally she relented, ending up with her back pressed to the bed and his entire body weight on her and wrist pinned above her head.

So full of him.

Once again being the receiving and not giving part.

And enjoying it thoroughly.

As for Jason, he was more than happy to be on the passive, pleasured side of their tryst, but he valued her too much to just cum in her mouth. Besides, that would be such a waste of a perfectly good load, even if she was not going to get pregnant due to pills.

“Jason!”

Ironic how the tables turned.

“Jay!” she gasped, locking the ankles on his body, holding him in an iron grip to the point when he was barely pulling in and out, creating the friction that made her pussy burn and redden.

They were both going to sport such beautiful marks the next morning.

“Fuck Y/N, let go cause I can’t hold back much longer.”

“Then let go” she challenged him with a moan.

“No. You first.” He intensified his movements, adding the thumb on her clit that he knew would drive her crazy.

“It’s always the same… Stop being a gentleman…”

“I’ll fuck the words out of you…”

He was not going to stop being a gentleman in bed.

Rough? Yes, the thrust and snaps of his movements being the best example.

Dirty talk? Oh, absolutely with the way it made her shiver.

But being a dick? Never.

She thought she was ready for oral, but he knew better. All the little telltale signs were more visible to him than to her.

So for now, they were going to stick to classic after all.

Her pussy clenching on him, her moans filling the room and finally – her juices coating him and her body cradles in his arms.

Both full of pleasure and both reaching their peak.

***

“Why didn’t you let me switch roles?” she asked some time later, after getting cleaned up and they focused on cuddling, tangled together under the blanket.

“Was it what you really wanted?” he responded with another question

“Was I bad?”

“Is that what you think?”

“Can I please get one clear answer from you?” she chuckled patting his chest playfully

“Only if you give me one in advance.” Jason grabbed her wrist, pulling her hand to his lips and kissing softly. “Did you really want it? Or was it some sort of liberated woman thing?”

“Now that’s mean…”

“Y/N, baby, please just tell me.” He lifted her chin so her eyes met his.

“Those hormones are making me crazy… I’m sorry I’ve put you through trauma. I really don’t know what’s happening to me….” Self-doubts were back, triumphantly announcing his return, taking the form of Y/N withdrawing back to her cave. “I did want it… At the beginning. But somewhere in the middle I sort of got second thoughts, though didn’t want to disappoint you and –“

“Shh. Stop it. You never disappointed me. You could never do that. But yeah, I saw the slight hesitation in you.”

“Your perceptiveness is truly admirable” she mocked, rolling her eyes.

“It saved your ­self-appointed honor tonight, didn’t it?” Jason smirked

“You really do want me to admit you are a hero In this scenario, don’t you?”

“Damn right I do.”

“thank you” she sighed “and I mean it. I don’t think I was fully ready.”

“See that’s why you have me to save you from yourself lately.” He pulled her closer, signaling that this sentence was not meant to be teasing or mean, but loving and caring.

“guess that’s the role a partner takes on sometimes, right?” Y/N nuzzled into him, understanding and appreciating his behavior.

“I guess so.” The deal was sealed with a tiny kiss on the top of her head ‘but I have to ask – where did you learn how to-?”

“Not answering that question.”

“Y/N!”

“You drop the subject or you’ll never get to experience my fast learning skills on you ever again.”

“Is that a threat?”

“Damn right it is!”

“Just swear to me you would never –“ he looked at her with a little bit of uncertainty in both eyes and voice.

“never. I’m here. And moreover, I am here to stay.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re the only living organism I want to experiment on.” She chuckled, using the standard technique of covering the sudden wave of sweetening with a bit of sarcasm.

 “Then consider me your personal lab rat. Volunteering as a tribute, to quote the classic meme.”

She laughed at his words.

It was good to have someone like him in her life.

And he was thinking exactly the same about her.

[sadesluvr]

Hi, if you're fine with it could you write doctor!William and patient!fem!reader and William fucks the reader in her hospital bed after lying to her about something. What it is, up to you. Happy holidays!

A/N: Thanks for the respectful ask Anon! Happy new year!!🎉 The irony of this was that the day before I got this req I’d literally read a fic for another fandom that was similar to the concept lmao. I’m sorry it’s taken a while, thanks for being patient! :)

WARNING: Reader is a little naive, or has amnesia (You chose). Below the cut will contain dub-con, manipulation and abuse of power. Minors DNI, and read at your own discretion. 

“Dr Afton…Am I going to be okay?”

“Of course, sweetheart. You’re under my care after all…”

You’d come to Dr Afton a few weeks ago, concerned with the fact that you couldn’t seem to fall asleep. You’d tried essential oils, music, even pills - all to no avail. Now, not only could you not sleep, but you were even more tired than before, becoming no stranger to headaches and irritability.

William had almost cum in his pants when you’d come back to him, eyes heavy and on the brink of tears; desperate and pleading for him to ‘fix’ you. In that moment, he almost felt bad that he’d given you stimulants, the same given to people who suffered from narcolepsy.

Today you were lying flat on the sterile medical beds, face up as your legs were spread in stirrups. Dr Afton had requested you to take off your underwear, and your pussy was exposed to the cool of the room. You were a little embarrassed, but luckily a sheet was draped over the bottom half, so you couldn’t see the man’s face.

“What is it?” you asked slowly, hearing as the man clicked his flashlight off. He sighed and hummed, and you’d come to know that it wasn’t one of promise.

“Forgive me for asking, sweetheart, but…How many sexual partners have you had?” he said, clearing his throat.

You swallowed.

“Um…One?” you said unsurely, biting your lip. “It was a while ago…On prom night,”

“Hm,” William said, and the corners of his lips twitched into a smirk. He didn’t know how you’d made it through three years of college without sex, but he was certainly glad. “I think I’ve found the source of your problem…”

“Really?” you squealed, and William adjusted his glasses in anticipation. Even though he’d locked the door, there was still a risk. If a nurse was to try and wander in, it would certainly ring alarm bells. He’d have to make this quick.

“Uh-huh,” he sang, and you were pleased to hear the glee in his voice. Dr Afton took his job so seriously! “Sweetheart, the source of your insomnia isn’t from the head - well, not directly - but your hormones. Most specifically, your endocrine system,”

“Oh,” you said. You remembered that stuff from high school. But how did that have anything to do with sleeping?

William sighed.

“The secret to a good night's rest is simply through achieving orgasm. You haven’t had sex in four years - and I assume you don’t masturbate - and your hormones are all messed up because of it. Upon reaching orgasm, we release oxytocin - the happy hormone - which in turn makes us relaxed, and then sleepy. Not to mention the physical movement that comes with sex,”

You were in shock. How could it have been so simple? How were you going to start having these, let alone every night so that you could sleep?

“Dr Afton, I –”

“No worrying about it, darling,” he hummed, beginning to shush you. “I’ve got just the thing…”

He was oh-so quiet as he zipped down his pants, his already hard cock jutting out of the hole. Taking off his gloves, he gave himself a few languid strokes before placing a hand on your knee, peeking over the cloth to get a glimpse at you. You were staring up at him with curious eyes, squirming slightly under his cold hands. It was different without his gloves.

“I’m just going to run a few tests, okay?” he smiled, blue eyes wide and sparkling. “It may hurt, and it might feel a little uncomfortable, but it’s going to help, okay? Call my name if you want something, alright?”

You nodded.

“W-What is your name?” you said, suddenly shy. Calling a doctor by their first name felt strangely intimate. 

“William,” he said, nodding at you before he disappeared back under the sheet, placing his hands on your thighs to signal for you to spread them apart. As you did, he lined his cock up with your entrance, taking a moment to rub his nub; pink and leaking with precum, along your folds. He let out a low groan as he felt you tremble.

“Just one of my tools, baby,” he assured you. “Don’t worry, it’s sterile, of course,”

You shut your eyes and scrunched your nose at the feeling. Whatever William was using was warm, slightly sticky and thick, yet it was making you feel good. You felt your thighs begin to quiver in anticipation, a hot, pulsing sensation rushing to your privates, in turn making it easier for William’s tool to glide across your pussy.

He hummed at the feeling of you growing wetter. Slyly, he placed his thumb onto your clit, beginning to rub it in circles as he pushed his head into you without warning, making you gasp. He hissed as he sank deeper into you, hands gripping the styrofoam of the chair, his body looming over you slightly. He could see the top of your face, eyebrows furrowed to the ceiling at the strange sensation, your lips slightly parted and wet. He longed to be able to kiss them; to hold you a little closer as he took all of you, but time was of the essence.

“You’re doing so well, sweetheart,” he smiled. “Almost there…”

He grumbled, choking back a moan as he bottomed into you, glancing down to admire your skin-on-skin contact. You were so fucking tight, and wet, that he was surprised he hadn’t broken you - much more he cum right on the stop.

“W-William…” you moaned, covering your mouth at the whorish sound. “It’s — The tool…It’s big…”

“Does it feel good?” was all he said, and he smirked as you nodded, a small whine escaping your mouth as you did. The man chuckled and adjusted his glasses. “This is gonna put you to sleep baby, I promise,”

He withdrew his hips before slamming them back into you, your head lolling against the rest. The sudden pressure was alarming, but it felt amazing, and as if a miracle had taken place you could feel your body relaxing already. Your breasts moved with the contact under the plastic garment, and you reached up to cup them, in turn making you feel even better. William grinned, watching in awe as your pussy took him completely, keeping up with the frantic movements from his greedy thrusts. He wished you were a virgin, that he could’ve popped your cherry right there and then, hugging and comforting you at the fact that you’d bled. Still, you only having one man (boy was the far more accurate term) was far better than two, and he could tell that you moaned and gripped him that this was what you were missing in your life. Desperate to bring you to your peak, he rubbed your clit eagerly, the feeling of his throbbing cock sliding in and out of you effortlessly bringing you to a point of overstimulation. Your raw nipples rubbed against the material of your gown, creating a friction that both pleasured you and made the nubs harden further, practically displaying themselves for William. A thumb on your clit turned into an index finger in your pussy, gently moving against the man’s own base. William’s grunts, the filling, yet rhythmic sensation and the build up of tears in your eyes at your sheer emotion was building up to too much.

It was bittersweet agony when you came. You didn’t know for how long, but you knew you blacked out, eyes rolling to the back of your skull as your chest heaved and legs quivered. For a moment, William was nothing, just a figment of your imagination, but a wet, sticky sensation filling your cunt and dripping down your thighs brought you back to life.

Your limbs felt lifeless, eyes heavy, and a warm feeling spread across your body. Dr Afton had been right all along.

“I hope you feel better, sweetheart,” he said, words nothing but a jumble in your brain as you came down from your high. “Do note that this is only a temporary fix – I’ll need to see you in three days for an immediate checkup. From there, we’ll need to work out a year-long schedule. It’s imperative I monitor your progress.”

[tmwcs]

How about heethan's reaction to let's assume for once yn goes to a party with hn and some dude slips viagra in yn's drink so she drank it obliviously and ofc got horny so the dude sees it and tries to feel her up only for her to kick him in d!ck and runs away back to the dorm room to heethan now ofc the effects of the pill were still there so heethan gets a little confused as to why his pretty baby comes up to him hurriedly from the party all horny.....so later on they do the deed and when our yn is asleep he dials hn number and asks her what happened with yn and hn explains all and heethan being him goes on full murder mode

Now I leave it up to you to finish everything up 😼😼😼

lol well unfortunately kitty cat anon, i'm afraid viagra doesnt work that way for females (as far as my research shows) it doesnt increase a woman's desire to have sex. Not to mention, it would be hard to write out this prompt because heethan (as the record shows in the chapters) does not let y/n go ANYWHERE without him. she barely is able to attend her classes in peace bc most times, he's right outside waiting/watching her through the window from his car. he'd be at that part with her, and therefore, no one is going to slip anything in her drink bc he's gonna be the one to order and watch over her belongings. for me to write out anything different is hard because its very out of character for heethan, he's always (like literally stuck like glue) with his y/n. wherever he goes, she goes. and wherever she goes, he's there.

NOW, lets just say they're at a party, and he hands her a drink and somehow it slipped through his sharp sights and someone did manage to slip something in y/n's drink. Again, studies show that viagra doesnt have that effect on women, it's a medication mean to stimulate hormonal and blood functions for men only, so lets say they slip something else and it takes effect, i'm not sure what is out there that stimulates a women's desire to have sex, but if we bend the facts a little and they slipped something and y/n was already ovulating and whatever was slipped in made her a little woozy and more "in the mood" heethan be right there to see her change in mood and would just take her to a private room or in his car and give it to her until she knocks out. (there are similar scenarios where y/n is ovulating and she expresses her desires to heethan and she always gets more than what she bargains for, i think they're in my one shots ML) it wouldn't be any different.

Warnings: some detailed smutty stuff below the line....like straight up nasty porn type content, car sex, and ofc breeding kinks, anal play, oral, and creampies. yup. MDNI 18+ content below.

He'd take you to the car, slip his hand down in you panties and feel how wet you are. probably increase the tension by antagonizing you with the "tell me who are you wet for?" or "tell me what you want, princess."

he'd make you say it and practically beg for it. in fact, he'd throw in the "beg for it baby, i wanna hear you beg." while he pumps his fingers (all three of them) in and out while curving the tips inward to hook you from the inside and gently pull you down until you're a laying mess. record shows he loves to slap y/n's p*ssy, whether it's his hand or with his shaft, he likes to slap it. when he gets a few drinks in him (doesn't have to be drunk, he can have a tiny buzz) he likes to tickle it too. he likes to watch you jump, jolt, and yelp out of the oversensitivity he's creating and from there, he slaps his hand on your shoulder, your waist, or even your neck to hold you steady and will keep doing it over and over until he gets you to the point where you're now begging for him to stop (see what he does? he's a menace. first he has you begging for more, now he has you begging for mercy) and then, as he's sucking on your skin, he shoves it in. He get's you feeling so full (because he's a python....he has girth and length) and this time around, because you're ovulating, he just wants to go at it and not start off slow and deep (which is how he usually does it) naw....he starts going at it and loves it when you gasp out in shocking breaths while you yelp and moan out in disbelief that he's just fucking the shit out of you off the hook and beaming a very demeaning (but loving) gaze at you.

everytime you turn your head away from the overwhelming sensation, he grabs your hair and either makes you look directly into his psychotic glare or he'll make you watch his cock going in and out of you (balls deep too) since you're ovulating, you're extra juicy so he'll make you stick your hand down and use your fingers to ring around his girth as he thrusts in and out, and make you rub his balls as he's slamming into you. the man is always filthy but when you're in the moments of heat and wanting to breed, he's extra nasty with it. he'll spread your legs open, spit on it, stick his finger in your anus while he's fucking you and will suck on your tongue while you're screaming out as he keeps going and going (man is an energizer bunny) he'll taunt you with his words while he spits on your tits and tells you things like...

"yeah...you're pretty little girl....you ARE pretty, i'll give you that....in fact, i'm going to show you just how pretty you are."

and boy, does he ever. he'll take it out for a few minutes so he can go in there and shove his face in between your legs, flip you over, grab your rear end, squeeze his fingers down to make it look extra bubbly, and shove it back in, going to town on you. "breed with me baby." he'll say that every time he feels you gush. and your ovulation period is just make you feral for child bearing so of course you moan and let him do everything, which includes him leaning over your back as he's fucking you doggystyle, and he'll bite your neck and hold you steady that way while he pumps in deeper and deeper until you feel him cumming.

when all is said and done, and you're bruised down there, red and purple from him beating your womanhood (i'm talking like...the man went all Mike Tyson on you) you sigh out and catch your breath, only to hear him transition and speak out...

"Round two baby...."

and you look up with an ever enduring horror on your face as you see that Ethan is looking down at you....hungry. You're too weak and exhausted to move or do anything, you just lay there with your eyes beginning to water as you dread for whats about to come your way. you whine out of mercy, which only makes ethan smirk deviously. Now that heeseung had his fill, ethan want's a taste...in fact he want's the whole entree. bon apetite. ❤️

Perm Taglist:

@enheene , aiden2001 , heeseung-min , lathan1510 , rayofsunshineeee , @hoyeonheeseung , @rayofsunshineeee , @yohanabanana , @sunoosrightbuttcheek , @jaeneohee , @icydawon , @silcry , @iamliacamila , @nikstrange , @enheene ; @nuriicata

[calliecwrites]

Shifter HRT, part 3 – Rebirthday

I had the appointment. I passed the test. I’ve got the little package that will change everything.

I hold it tight all the way home. Part of me is still angry at my contact for messing with me like that – and the rest is in something like stunned amazement that I actually have it.

Now I’m home. I open it up.

There are two kinds of pills. First there’s antihominidone. That’s the humanity blocker, the one that lets my body change and stops it trying to change back. People transitioning to lots of different species take this one.

Then there’s the other one, the one that does the hard work of actually changing me. ‘Shifterising hormone’, it says on the label – they don’t even have a scientific name for it. There’s a little instruction book with doses – one of each a day – but it doesn’t say a lot about side effects or timelines. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, going DIY – this isn’t stuff you’d get from a doctor, after all. Almost no one’s been through this before. It’s super experimental, and I’m the experiment. The whole process takes two to three years, but what to expect when is pretty vague.

This is when my anxiety kicks in. Experimental treatment? Becoming another species? What am I doing?

I take one of the hormone pills out. It’s a clear capsule full of liquid. I turn it over, and the liquid slowly drops from one end to the other. It’s thick and gooey, which makes sense, since I’m going to be gooey. It looks a bit like the fluid shifters are made of, but without the life of the real thing. How do they make this stuff? Do they distil it from their own bodies or something? It’s not made of dead shifters, is it? Geez, I hope it’s not made of dead shifters. —Nope, nope, not thinking that way. Lots of other things are gooey. It could be anything. It could be literal magic, for all I know.

They’re so secretive, since they don’t want anyone else figuring out how to make it. Maybe I should save some and smuggle it to the other groups who are trying to? No, who am I kidding, this is for me – I’m not wasting a single drop.

Stop. Focus.

Changing species is much bigger than changing gender, but somehow it doesn’t feel quite as scary as that did – because this time, I’ve been through something like this before. I’ve sat here, scared and desperate, staring at pills that might as well be magic, before. Looking back, it doesn’t feel like I ‘changed’ gender at all – I just stopped pretending to be something I wasn’t. Sounds easy. Sounds obvious. Hopefully, one day, I’ll look back and this will feel the same.

I trust myself so much more than I did back then. I was right the first time, and that makes me confident I’m right this time, too.

And my friends and family? We’ve been through the fire together once. The ones who would leave left then – that’s what I tell myself. But I don’t really know how anyone will react to this. That’s a problem for another day.

The first two pills are on the table in front of me. Here goes.

* * *

It’s done. I’ve taken it. I feel all tingly, though surely it can’t be having an effect already. I think that’s just the excitement and the fear and everything.

I call the day I started estrogen ‘Rebirthday’, because that’s how it felt. I never thought I’d have another day like that. Now I have one birthday and two rebirthdays. I am a shifter. Even through all my doubts and fears, I can truly say that now, for the first time. I want to laugh. I want to cry.

I am a shifter. I am me. I know the next few years will be hard, I know there will be pain, but I can’t wait.

This is what I am.

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@scrubbinn @therian-lesbian @wuwojiti

[blackholesandlions]

always wild to me how many trans people are ready and able to debunk shitty arguments about transition steps but then turn around and make those same arguments about bottom surgery. it's something i notice a lot now that i'm in the process of getting phalloplasty and it's always frustrating, i know bottom surgery isn't for everyone but a lot of people treat it as if it's fundamentally different to other steps in a transition when it just is not at all. like

"oh but you're basically guaranteed to have complications!" literally any surgery has the risk of complications. the vast majority of complications from phalloplasty are fistulas, and you know what happens? they just close them back up. not always pleasant but nothing about surgery is. i had a pretty uncommon complication from top surgery and all that happened was they had to drain some blood and stitch me back up again, complications happen sometimes and they are fine. if you can recognize that "oh if you get top surgery your nipples will get necrotic and fall off" is shitty transphobic fearmongering then you should be able to see it's the same shit when it's said about bottom surgery

"oh but it takes so long to heal and even then there's no guarantee it'll look and function how you want" sure thing, but may i introduce you to the concept of hormone replacement therapy. literally no part of transition is guaranteed to get you the results you want, and any part of transition will always mean years of your body settling into itself. also, bottom surgery is so variable and customizable that you have a way better chance of getting exactly what you want than the crapshoot of hrt, but you don't hear me telling people not to go on t because i didn't get a beard by two years in

"but it's such a complicated process with so many steps, it's not even worth bothering" have you ever tried to legally change your name? now that is a complicated process. still worth it though, i know some people don't do it but it'd be wild to tell people not to simply because it's a hard process, every step is a complicated. that's not the fault of bottom surgery, it's just the unfortunate reality of being trans and having to interact with systems

"but wouldn't you rather wait until the science is there" first of all, the science is already great, and the options we have currently can do everything we need them to do. what do you want them to to, connect to bluetooth? also, why wait? i do injections once a week because my insurance doesn't think "the science is there" on jatenzo yet (that's right, they already made testosterone pills that don't mess with your liver, another reminder that information on what's good and what's bad in transition can be outdated. but good luck getting any if you want the pills, very tricky to get as of now). i'd rather not do injections for the rest of my life because of scar tissue buildup, but i'm also not a very patient guy. if i'd waited for the perfect option i just would have been spending a lot of time being miserable and bitter about it instead of doing the thing that makes me happy even if it's in an imperfect state. if years down the line they have transplants or lab grown options then good for the next generation i guess, but i'd rather not spend all that time wishing for it when there are perfectly good options right now.

"but they require maintenance, you'll be a patient forever!" if you're on hormones this is already true for you, not really sure why this is such a big concern with people. having to get an implant replaced maybe every ten years sounds less annoying than yearly blood tests and checkups to me

"but it isn't actually real!" what, you think it's a hologram? it's attached to you and part of your body and made of the exact same stuff as the rest of your body. it physically exists and actually does all the functions it provides, i don't know how much more real it has to be for people. next you'll tell me the changes from t i have aren't real either because i had to add the t myself, or that my chest isn't really flat because i had to get surgery for that. obviously it wasn't there the whole time, that's true with literally every part of transition. arguing against bottom surgery with that line of reasoning invalidates the rest of transition just as much, not the win people think it is

"but you'll have big, ugly scars!!!" i feel like i shouldn't have to explain why this one is shitty. if your concept of what the scars look like is the exact same as a shitty transphobic caricature then maybe you need to work on that, go look at some healed scars. also, why are we being shitty about big, visible scars? if somebody was saying this about top surgery scars would they be being an asshole? yes? stop saying it then

basically, if bottom surgery isn't for you that is fine, great even. you do not have to explain why, but if you're going to, maybe stop and think first. if you swap out bottom surgery for top surgery or hrt and suddenly your statement sounds like it's coming from a transphobic asshole, it is probably not a great thing to say and very likely untrue

[halinski]

rant in tags about perscription medication and withdrawals

continued here bc i reached tag limit and i'm still??

it's kinda scary tbh

like i was scared for years now of what would happen off my meds and

when i tried tapering off my antidepressants oof i was breaking down every day and now i /know/ i'm dependant on them and idk if that's better or worse

and with the antipsychotics it's like i thought they were helping my depression too bc when tapering off i was also so panicked and depressed (tho my situation is kinda stressful rn)

but idk i've been trying meds on and off for half my life now and most of the time i'm like 🤷

but the truth is

it's fucking scary how it messes with your body

it's fucking scary when you're dependant on a pill

OR ALSO

when pills fuck your body up to the point you can only eat one thing

bc that's the reason i'm going off the antipsychotics and guess what, i'm able to eat more again now

idk if it's just in combination with the hormon pill tbh i'm just going off both now and we'll see how my iron levels and migrains deal lmao

i feel like i can't think straight anymore

gonna have to get new docs anyway so we'll see what they say if(/when) i go anemic again or if going off the antipsychotics will actually fix the issue??

if so, then it'll be like how did this sneak up on me, i've been taking them for 2.5 years like

??

and now i've lost 20lbs despite trying everything to maintain or gain some the past year and a half and i'm at my lowest weight since i was like a preteen lol

and that's all bc of a med that didn't feel like it had an acute effect

or maybe i'm so removed from my body i didn't notice until i got the acute gastritis ??

i mean i can't even be sure its the meds or not until i'm off

and tapering the rest off is gonna be so fun fuck

i dont wanna

i wanna be able to eat more than bread i guess but at this point the thought just scares me and like i associate it with pain and nausea

which as long as i can manage it is fine

but i've only tapered off half, i still have to taper off the other half of the dosage 😭

and with the hormon pill gone again the worst menstrual pain will be back and idk how to manage that, i guess hopefully with the meds gone i won't go anemic again but who knows at this point??

also praying my migraines don't come back but uh... i am pessimistic. i don't have much hope

anyway

moral of the story.....

ALWAYS MAKE SURE TO TAPER OFF YOUR MEDS KIDS BC EVEN JUST TAPERING IS SCARY AND GOING COLD CHICKEN IS PROBABLY HELL

doctors can be annoying (and make things harder, like in my case bc i literally asked if it could be my current meds MONTHS ago, and everyone was like noooooo but guess who was RIGHT) sometimes BUUUUT you should listen to them avout certain things

like

tapering off meds

[weanda]

Hotel nights

As for me and R, we have spent 2 nights together since then.

First, we were in a hotel on the banks of the Danube, we stood on the balcony a lot, watching the river flow, the boats gliding on the water, the tram and the cars going under us. But we spent even more time in bed. After we arrived we decided to rest. We talked and laughed a lot, held hands and closed our eyes. A little later, we started to hug and approach each other so that our faces and bodies were very close to each other. At first, every movement felt very foreign to me, and my thoughts kept jumping back and forth. Should I let him touch me like this? He's my colleague! But it fits so well. I want to enjoy the moment. I thought about them every minute. Then my face came so close to him that he asked: does it matter at all that your lips are on my face and not on my mouth? And then I realized it wasn't. I could just kiss him… And I did. Then the night became very hot. We took off our clothes, which again really embarrassed me because he said he wouldn't… but then he did. I wasn't naked, but we did a lot of things together anyway. He wanted to fuck, lick, kiss, caress me all night. He was hinting and whispering to me all the way, it was very sexy and embarrassing... Around midnight we went to dinner, which was very pleasant, and after that we continued our sexy game, seducing each other.

Next morning we kissed each other goodbye and both went home. Since then, whenever we meet, we always kiss each other. At work, we hide in the stairwell and talk and kiss there. We met once and talked about how we felt or what we wanted from each other next. We are just as much dudes who are attracted to each other. A lot of things have changed in me, because before I didn't think that I would actually kiss him and that I would let him close to me like that. And now I had to admit that I'm into him a little.

The next night it happened a little later, because after our conversation, R thought I didn't want to spend any more nights with him. And for always saying I wouldn't invite him to my apartment despite my affection. Actually, even after that, I was quite reserved, because it was difficult for me to navigate my own feelings about how far I wanted to go with him. But later I invited him to a bar that we both like, and R booked a room in the city center. The story is almost the same as the previous one. We didn't go to the bar of course. We stayed in the room from check-in. We entangled each other for hours, all night. We masturbated in front of each other and enjoyed the way the other moved and sighed. It was absolutely pleasuring! This time I had no clothes on me. The difference between the two occasions is that I had condoms now and I wanted to have sex with him… But he didn't want to pick it up, even though he said it was fine. He had orgasm both times, but not once for me despite all my efforts. I wanted to feel him nside me, to ride him, to press my body against his… but in the end it didn't happen…

Then last week he went on vacation abroad, and I stayed at home with my thoughts. Why did he want to get so close to me if he didn't want to sex with me?… We chatted later, and he wrote that he thought this condom-thing was just a formality. I say I have it, he nods, but then we don't use it. And I sent to him a thinking face… WTF man!? Although we discussed earlier that I can't take birth control pills because it messes up my hormonal balance and makes me really sick. I used to try 5-6 different medicines for years, but I was always very sick… I thought that if he knew this about me, we would protect ourselves, take care of each other. I was wrong :(

You have no idea how many times I wished I was like other girls. To take the pills and feel nothing, no pain and sickness, to be happy, liberated and not afraid of getting pregnant.

We barely spoke last week. Our conversations were short and neutral. We didn't joke much and after he wrote that the condom was just a formality for him, we didn't even talk for about 2-3 days… I was disillusioned with him, and because of that I think I'm less attracted to him, because I don't feel so safe with him :( I asked him how he was going to work next week and it turned out that we avoid each other every day! I am sad about this because we have less time to talk and I miss his humor and closeness. I think if I had the chance I could kiss him, but mainly to make sure how much I'm still attracted to him after this.

It's a strange feeling that I feel uncomfortable after all this.

[meditating-dog-lover]

Stress/health issues

So I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow to check if I have PCOS. I am stressed and nervous because (1) it's never comfortable getting any type of women's health exam done and (2) if I do have it, then it's just a new stressor on top of the debilitating health issue I'm already struggling with.

I know without a doubt that my stress has a lot to do with these hormonal imbalances. Also my low chromium levels are likely contributing to this, but that can easily be corrected with direct chromium supplementation and gut supplementation (digestive enzymes and the liquid supplement). That's as easy as popping a pill. Stress management, however, is a lot more complex and does cause issues with elevated androgens and insulin resistance. Stress makes eczema worse and makes you more susceptible to inflammation and gut health problems and infections.

So I'm still working on the gut/skin protocol and that takes time. I am stressed here and there and have been washing my hands with hot water, both which make my skin worse. I know the protocol takes a while (1-2 months and I'm on week 2) and healing isn't linear. So while my skin may get better one day, it might get slightly worse the next, but not as bad as I first started. At the very least I'm way past the point where I struggled to find a functional medicine doctor and had to wait for ordering and performing comprehensive testing (skin and gut and blood). I've done all that by now and am at the treatment point. It was a lot of work, but I'm past a lot of the hard parts. I just need to be patient and consistent with my supplements, and avoiding/limiting stress and washing with hot water.

My new therapist is amazing. I've spoken a lot about childhood trauma and perfectionism. But stress management is something I can focus on in a future session. I've dealt with stress and anxiety since I was 9 when I started 4th grade in 2004. I've had moments in life where things worked out perfectly/better than expected, and moments where things abysmally failed and fell apart. But I'm doing great in life now despite it not being perfect. It's worth discussing coping mechanisms in therapy and identifying certain triggers that stress me out. I've decided to stay with my current therapist even though sessions aren't particularly cheap. It's worth it, and chronic stress is not cheap either because that will mess up my health in the future, amounting to medical bills after medical bills. The money I'll spend on that could be spent on a retirement vacation/trip or a future beach house. I decided to play some relaxing audio on my phone on Youtube and to turn on my essential oil diffuser (lemongrass).

Another thing that would significantly help my health that I don't even consider it to be an aspect of health even though it absolutely is - connection. Humans are social animals and need connection and bonding. I've had my share of connections in the past that were fulfilling and meaningful, and some areas of connection I need and have not experienced before. I've never been in a deep, intimate, longterm relationship. I'm not capable of experiencing true love and I feel self-conscious and don't have the best/healthiest ideas of connection. I feel self-conscious and frigid, and I start to realize that it's not particularly normal and that's not how people generally interact and people are more laid back and less critical than I think they are. I've seen this interaction with people on here, with my therapist, and with my colleagues at work (while serious and productive, we get along quite well and aren't afraid to laugh and crack jokes). I feel accepted by, for example, my therapist and my coworkers. And by people on here as well, on this account and my other accounts. I did mention that I do want a deep, longterm committed relationship in the future. However I'm not psychologically ready nor mature for that. I've had the occasional fling here and there, which is fine because it can be socially connecting and fulfilling and it's better than nothing, honestly. As long as the other person is respectful.

Really the main health goals I have are: skin/gut healing, hormonal imbalances/insulin resistance/PCOS (if I have it), stress management and therapy, and establishing social connections. Poor stress management makes the others worse, especially insulin resistance and eczema (it's not a root cause of eczema necessarily though). It also makes social interactions and establishing feelings more stressful and challenging because I get too nervous and stressed about opening up and accepting how I feel about a person/people. This causes a lot of systemic inflammation which can make a person more prone to certain diseases (from gum disease to cancer). I have to take this more seriously because people don't realize how badly their stress and anxiety gets to them until they're in a medical emergency/health scare.

I've done a lot in the past for my health. It's time to do more. I'm happy with the IF and my current body frame and can eventually gain some self confidence and get nice clothes. That's another non-health goal on the side that is more cosmetic/aesthetic oriented.

I will heal, I need to manage my stress. Because that causes systemic inflammation, makes insulin resistance/hormonal imbalances worse, makes period cramps more painful, makes eczema worse, and makes you more susceptible to gut infections and malfunctions.

[seekinginnerwisdom]

I am an older female INFP and I first took the test as a teen and have consistently gotten the same results, regardless of website or version of test. And I was always kinda secretly proud to be one because my mom was struggling with my teen sister's bipolar/hormone powered rage and my dad, I think, was one of us too. He was a reserved, weird, sweet, unfocused mess who avoided conflict unless drafted (little war humor, get it from my dad). So I became my mom's confidant which made me feel helpful and special at the time but i now know probably wasnt "healthy".

Fast forward to now and I've earned a number of invisible "survivor of *insert trauma*" medals for myself. And just recently earned myself a small one for "surviving break up with first boyfriend after divorce" Its doesnt have a catchy title and I dont know how I they fit all the words on such a small surface but I'm proud of my small accomplishment. 13 years married, 6 years single, 2.5 years with him...alone again.

Shouldn't I be devastated longer than a week? He did it really poorly, too. Asked for a break a week before which took me by surprise, then 4 days later he told me he loved me and didnt want to break up but still needed time to figure things out, a few days later and its I want to be your friend but nothing more.

It was a back and forth conversation and he's telling me he's not attracted to me anymore and quickly adds "it's not because of the weight" (to clarify I have been struggling with my stomach and have lost 40 lbs which sounds great, unless you weren't overweight before and now I look like a skeleton). When he said that I couldn't help but laugh in that hurt way, where its brevity and pain mixed with a scoff (just me?) And not expecting a reply I rolled my eyes away from him and ask "so it's just me as a person" and there wasnt much hesitation before I hear a soft but steady "yes" behind me. As you can imagine, I didnt respond well to having my entire existence be rejected so i did something he had never seen me do. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my car. Then I tried to go back to work. Yup, he broke up with me in the middle of the work day. I'm sorry this is so long and I even skipped parts.

I left early and took a pill or two more than recommended and just ran away from consciousness as fast as modern medicine could get me there. (I dont post much so I dont know if I need to worry about responses but I took low doses of anti anxiety meds that wouldnt harm me unless i consume the whole bottle. I took 1 mg more than normal. Dont attack me). I got him to be more specific in his choice of break up methods the next week after texting to let him know I wrote a 7 page goodbye letter and how he has come out of this looking like a psychopath.

Is it an INFP thing? When someone hurts me or angers me and I'm trying to speak it's a lot of ums or long pauses. But hand me a pen or a keyboard and fill me will righteous rage...you cant stop me. If I know anything at all about you then you will receive a paragraph like you are reading right now filled with oddly observational criticism, I will hit upon at least one thing your sensitive about and end it all with a guilt trip so strong only the Catholically trained can weather it well.

I think he was afraid of the letter because he had been receiving the texts but not replying. He responded pretty quickly after that. After days of contradicting actions, trains of thought that burst into flames as it derailed and red string theory memes he finally told me that his decision to take a break, reassure me and then dump me in such an abrupt manner on a workday, twice btw, was because he really hadn't thought about it...

Now this is going to sound strange but I am so glad my exhusband had been abusive because it taught me control. Otherwise I would have hit him. Who does that?! Im 99% sure he wasnt lying because he's a blunt INTJ and he explained his incomprehensible thought process earlier and I've had previous experience with his type of obliviousness. He really didnt mean to hurt me, he doesnt have any social circle to speak of so when planned this whole thing his feedback was a crowd of 1.

But I saved the best for last. He appears to genuinely like me and really doesnt want to lose me. He wants to be friends...and my dumb ass said yes. With a caveat that the second he starts dating I'm out. I dont do lover to friends. I'm possessive and wont share. So as long as he stays single I'll be his friend. I know I'm dumb. I know I'm just going to be hurt by another display of thoughtlessness from him. But except for the week of hell I've been truly happy with him until I got sick. He's a jerk. I deserve better. But did you know, that INFP can be shallow too. I didnt until i met him. He is so pretty (in my eyes, he is definitely not to everyone's taste) and 7 years younger and he picked me 2.5 years ago. I am not pretty. Hard marriage, lifetime of depression, rather read another chapter than apply a layer of makeup, etc. but he eavesdrop me talking to my work friend and liked what he heard and asked me out.

God I'm dumb. Wow. I'm so sorry. It just happened today and I needed to let it out and when it started I tried another forum to get perspective from similar wired people as my boyfriend so I could do whatever was best for him and some responses were productive and informative if a tad blunt. One or two tried with all their might to be kind and I love them for that. The rest can burn in hell. I know I'm what people consider an "unhealthy" version of my type but I've just been considering myself a survival INFP. I think we all get broken a lot thanks to our inner compass. And when we build ourselves back up again our structure gains or loses new aspects. My corners are sharper, and someone broke my glasses so things arent clear all the time and when my belief in human goodness broke off I wasnt able to find all the pieces but it's still there. I'm still here. And now I will shut up. Sorry again. Still gonna post it though! :p

[youthoughtiwasserious]

Because of my disabilities, both physical and mental, I have a love-hate relationship with trips.

I'm taking a very short road trip (2.5h one-way) to a friend's house for the Labor Day weekend. We'll be staying for 2 nights, then leave sometime early on Monday.

Packing for extended trips always stresses me out because of all the items I need to bring with me (and remember to bring). I don't need much in the way of clothing or toiletries, but meds and safe foods are a must for me. I have EDS, POTS, PCOS, IBS, OAB, & reactive airways dysfunction syndrome. All of these conditions can (and often do) act up at any point, so I always need to pack a bunch of shit to cover my bases.

Here's an idea as to what meds/medical items I packed for this short trip:

2 inhalers (steroid & rescue)

Medicated cough drops

Regular cough drops

SeaBands (luckily I don't get motion sickness on car rides -knock on wood- but I have them with me just in case)

Ginger lozenges (these are AMAZING for nausea, which I get pretty often & I hate bc I have emetophobia)

Extra strength antacids (for nausea or indigestion [a lot of foods bother me, unfortunately])

Charcoal pills (for when I ate something that REALLY bothered me & the lozenges don't work. Used cautiously & only as a last resort so it doesn't fuck with my medication)

Magnesium (for when I lean more toward IBS-C & for anxiety/POTS)

Small vial of salt (for POTS/rapid rehydration)

Electrolyte drink mixes (also for POTS)

Extra strength Tylenol (both regular & menstrual versions)

Antihistamines (sometimes these help with joint/muscle pain related to MCAS)

Compression socks (for pain & blood circulation)

Compression gloves (for pain)

Bengay or IcyHot

Urination device (for if my OAB acts up & there isn't a rest stop for a while)

Extra underwear & wipes (self-explanatory)

Towels (self-explanatory)

Big-ass water bottle (I get dehydrated v easily)

Safe snacks such as mixed nuts, Nature Valley protein bars, & peanut butter snack packs)

And I tried to pack LIGHT. But due to having COVID ~3 weeks ago, it's causing a flare-up for my lung condition, so I've had to be more aggressive with my treatment until I go for another pulmonary function test in October. It also must have messed up my already messed up hormones because it caused me to have a period for six weeks. The dizziness, headaches, and nausea that came along with losing blood for so long was not fun whatsoever. Now I'm just trying to be extra prepared for trips where I know I'm going to be expending a lot of energy & where I won't have access to my full "sick kit."

I also end up feeling embarrassed about needing to take care of myself when I'm not feeling well because I'm the only person in my friend group that's disabled. And they often forget that because, well, I don't ""look disabled."" I also don't like to bring it up too much because I feel like a killjoy, or like I'm holding them back. Often they're v chill about it when I do bring it up, which I'm super grateful for, but I can tell that sometimes they're thinking, "Really? You can't handle even this?" Which is...not great.

Anyway, remembering to pack all this shit, on top of all the other items that need to be packed, SUCKS. It gets so overwhelming for my executive dysfunction (bc ofc I have ADHD, too). I try to put lists together for each category so that I don't have to rely solely on memory as I'm packing, and it helps with not forgetting anything when it's time to pack up and go home. It's still a tad stressful to see so many items on my lists, but at least checking them off as I pack them is pretty quick.

Another thing that sucks when getting ready for a trip is time blindness always screws me over when I'm getting ready. Regardless of how early I get up or how many timers I set, I ALWAYS manage to take too long getting ready & then I leave for my trip way later than I wanted to. Luckily we hit the road only like 10 minutes later than we wanted, so it wasn't too much of a delay, but man that race against the clock always adds an element of stress that I could do without.

A saving grace for this trip so far has been my earbuds. I have the Anker Soundcore A40s I think & they are phenomenal (not sponsored I promise). I get overstimulated by sound pretty easily, and that includes the wind whipping around the car on the highway, or my life partner's psychedelic rock playing on the radio at a low volume (but still "too loud" for me). My solution this trip has been to put in my earbuds & turn on noise cancellation with no music playing. Oh my goodness I have felt so fucking chill since doing that. It no joke dims out the sound by like half - even with no music playing. Also they don't dig into my ears after a while like my 1st gen Galaxy Buds do, so I could wear these for hours. I'm honestly going to do this for my trip to Cancun 2 months from now bc holy shit this feels like a cheat code for me.

Honestly, I like trips. I'm not a fan of planes, but I'll get on one if it means I get to visit my friends and family in another state, or go to another country. I work in an office, so being on the road and feeling the sun warm my skin as I passively drink in the scenery that surrounds me is such a welcomed change of pace. Using the car ride as an excuse to ramble on about silly or deep things with my tripmate(s), belt at the top of our lungs to a musical soundtrack, or sort through my many scattered thoughts to my steering wheel, is something that I will never take for granted. Being able to escape, even just for a little while, the monotony of everyday life is what makes traveling worth it for me.

I often don't get the chance to see family, friends, or new places. Due to my disabilities and the chronic fatigue that comes with them, life experiences are not as frequent as I would love for them to be. So when the rare chance comes my way - assuming I'm not nursing a migraine, vertigo, or stomach issues - I jump on that shit.

I was not feeling this trip when I first got up this morning. I was dreading the packing, the drive, the symptom management, the planning of what foods I could eat at the restaurant my friends want to visit, & also I've been dealing with some pretty hefty social anxiety and rejection sensitivity lately so I've been avoiding social interactions. But the first part of the day ended up being okay, plus the trip has been smooth so far since we got on the road -knock on wood again-, so I'm a little more hopeful about the actual visit going well. Fingers crossed it's more fun and positive than I'm expecting.

[clatterbane]

Coming back to this post when I'm less completely done. Yeah, about that weird hormone shit.

I have seen enough discussion and ranting about this among other T1s, but honestly haven't wanted to give that close attention. It hasn't been relevant, and I just really didn't even want to think about it. Seems like that might be enough explanation, right there--and the first day is apparently the craziest for a lot of people.

But yeah, I managed to get my first period since 2020--and noticed this when I popped to the bathroom before the procedure. Extra good thing I came prepared with pads anyway, for the even more offputting reason that the anesthesia isn't great for bladder control. Even peeing right before they take you back for a quick procedure, you can wake up disgustingly (and embarrassingly) damp. But yeah, double reason for precautionary measures this time, as it turned out!

I had several days of suspiciously sore boobs and other related shit that felt entirely too familiar beforehand. But, I was really hoping that wasn't why.

I guess the extended break might well have had more to do with malnutrition after all, though I was really hoping that age might also have something to do with it--and maybe it just wouldn't come back. But yeah, here we are. That would have been too easy.

It should maybe be noted that, judging by my mom and apparently grandmother, the "menopause already plz??!" hope did look at least 10 years premature.

What is actually crap funny in a way is that, as bad as I had dreaded the prospect of it coming back to the point of at least one nightmare about it? So far, it's not looking nearly as bad as I came to expect. (And took grey-market continuous pills for years to try and keep at bay, it was so fucking miserable.)

Only stopped taking them during the Septic Slump ketoacidosis incident, when I couldn't physically get up to take anything, or probably keep any medicine down either. It just never started up again until now, and I really didn't care why. Just hoped it wouldn't come back again.

So far, at least, nothing that ibuprofen hasn't kept tolerable. Not currently on the verge of vomiting or passing out, and no signs of serious flooding yet. I have not been experiencing any suicidal thought loops wanting to get away from what my body is currently doing. Can't help but feel like I'm just here waiting for the other shoe to drop, but I guess we'll see.

But yeah, I am also feeling a little more hopeful (along with a tangled mess of other things), after seeing it come up in some other discussions how out of control sky high blood sugar can seriously fuck you up as bad as thyroid problems in that department.

It would be darkly funny as hell in its own way if the outright negligence/malpractice around the diabetes had indeed been largely responsible for the escalation of Cramp Hell and all the rest too.

[Gonna have to start sending this chart to people when they ask what affects my blood sugars]

[moonlight-alphafemale]

I accept you

Omega!Draken x Alpha!Reader

---------------------------

Warnings:gender transitioning:Alpha to Omega, secondary gender dysphoria

---------------------------

His scent was never... Quite right. It's not that he didn't smell good... But there was actually something more to his scent. Something lingering in the scent.

God forbid anyone ask him about it, he would beat them up. Not even Mikey knew about it. No one knew...

-------------------

“Hey Draken!” you yelled, hugging your mate tightly. Draken pressed his nose into your neck with a soft purr. He was looking at his phone.

“What are you looking at?” you asked, reading over his shoulder. The search bar said ‘Uterus Surgery’

``Uterus Surgery can be done on transitioning dynamics, male beta to female, alpha to omega and vise versa. Uterus surgery is non fatal and has a 92% chance of successful pregnancy and birth...``

You stopped reading and looked at Draken. He refused to look at you. You giggled lightly and shook your head with a smile.

“Draken what are you doing? It's such a random thing to search up...” You chuckled.

“I wanna do it...” Draken muttered.

“...Eh–” You looked over at Draken, tears ran down his cheeks as he trembled. A single sniffle jerked his body as you hugged him.

“But Draken you already have a uterus!” you giggled. Draken stared up at you with teary eyes, he wasn't smiling nor laughing.

“Draken...?” You looked at his, the tension in the air was thick.

“Y/N there's something I gotta tell you...” Draken muttered. He wiggled out for your arms and went to the bathroom. He came back with a small pill bottle in his hand. He handed you the bottle and averted his gaze.

“Hormone Supplements...?” you mumbled. You quickly realized why Draken's scent was so different from a normal Omega's scent. That lingering scent...

“I'm an alpha...” Draken muttered.

You just stood there. You clutched the bottle tightly in your hands. He had lied to you for 2 years. How could you be so blind, you didn't know what to do.

No heats. His strange purr. The lingering scent of an alpha along with his own. For 2 years it was right in front of you but you never noticed it.

“I started transitioning 4 years after I presented as an Alpha...” he mumbled.

“I just... I didn't feel like the dynamic I was born with was right for me... It all felt wrong.” Draken said, rubbing his arm gently.

“My parents didn't accept me... Which is why I live with the people I live with now... They got rid of me...” he said, more tears welling up in his eyes as he explained himself to you.

“I'm happier now being an omega but... It still doesn't feel right.” he mumbled. “I'm not an omega but I feel like one... It's all a big mess...” he said, holding his head in his hands.

“I'm sorry I lied to you for so long... I just didn't want to tell you because I thought you would leave me...” he muttered.

“I'm stupid... I'm sorry...” he mumbled, hugging himself. You went over to him and hugged him.

“You're not stupid...” you said, “I'm sure it's a tough thing to talk about...”

“It is...” Draken muttered, trembling in your arms.

“It's ok... I accept you...” you said, pressing a soft kiss against his forehead.

Draken trembled in your arms, resting his head on your chest and hugging you back as he sobbed. He fell to his knees, taking you with him. You both hugged on the floor as Draken cried in your arms.

“I'll never leave you...” you muttered, kissing Draken on the head. He made a small sound, almost like a purr but raspy and dry sounding.

“Thank you... Th-Thank you...” Draken whimpered, squeezing you in a tight hug. Draken cried in your arms, nuzzling his face into your chest.

“My sweet little Omega...” your said softly, hugging Draken.

[piratesfromspace]

Old romance (Ben Miller/Reader)

Pairing: Ben Miller/Fem!Reader, Triple Frontier boys/Fem!Reader  Word count: 1k Rated: Explicit

Summary: You’re at the end of your period and you’re starting to get horny. Benny Helps. This one is really some fluffy shameless smut. Happy Valentines, I guess.

Note: This short story is set in my Atlas universe, it takes place some times after this first part.

CW: poly vibes, discussion of period pain, period sex, overstim, fluff

PART 1 // PART 2

MASTERLIST

It’s that particular time of the month, when you're barely done bleeding, and your hormones are starting to rise like crazy, the pain and the bloating leaving place to some renewed energy. The boys, they have learned to recognize the pattern of your mood by now. It took some time for them to get used to it. Back in your fighting days, you would take the pill, conveniently suppressing your period - and your libido. Easier to deal with when you're supposed to be up and ready at any given hour of the day or the night, definitely easier to handle when you're hiding in some God forsaken jungle for three days straight. No blood, no pain, no logistics around the whole thing except for a bottle of pills and a sip of water. 

But when you all decided to settle down and leave the gruesome work behind, you stopped taking it. Just to see. The first months, it hurt like hell - and it’s saying a lot, because you've already been shot at more than once, so you are used to pain. Actually, it felt more like being stabbed in the guts. But at the same time, you felt like you were alive again. The artificial chemicals just weren't a good mix for your body, and your boys soon found out. Your mood is now less stable, more prone to the influence of your wavering hormones, but at the same time, it is also better overall. Joy finally tastes like joy - before it felt like all your emotions were kinda flat.

But your mood isn’t the only change. There is a whole week each month when you’re insatiable, and the 4 of them are not too many to help you work through your needs. It is new - and they aren't complaining. Especially not Benny. 

Since you’ve settled in the Miller’s cabin, he’s been spending most of his awake time with you. You have a unique relationship with each of the boys, but Benny definitely feels like that best friend from childhood with whom you did - and still are doing - all sorts of mischief. You’re the closest from his age, and everything about him is just so sincere. Honest. Almost naive. Harmless fun. Even the sex. 

It was raining outside and you were trying to read one of those old steamy romance books you found stashed away in the back of your bedroom closet - probably the dirty secret of one of the many girls in the Miller family who used to vacation here. It involved a cruel but handsome pirate and a charming damsel in distress, and a lot of fucking on beaches and tavern backrooms. It was as cliché as can be but a welcome distraction from your boredom. Until Benny crashed on the bed next to you, and picked the book from your hands. He started reading a random paragraph out loud until he realized what it was really about. 

A suggestive grin formed on his beautiful face. “Sooo, I can be your pirate if you want…” “Benny, I may still be bleeding.” “I don’t care, do you?”

You answered his question with a searing kiss, and gave him the opportunity to show how he really did not care in the least.

***

The rain has stopped. You don’t really know how long Benny has been fucking you, but you’re the one not caring now. You’re out of breath. Stretched underneath him, you lay boneless from your many orgasms, while he stays up on his knees, still towering over you. 

He’s intently watching your cunt, sliding his thumb through the mess of it, swollen shiny folds slick with your own wetness and the lube he insisted on using because he knows how sensitive you can be at the end of your period. His cum is leaking out of you. You’re sure there is a smear of dark red blood in the mix. It’s so sinful, it makes your cheeks burn. 

“Look at this, such a cute pussy, all open from my cock, and still so wet…” 

Fuck. You sometimes forget he can be as dirty as he’s playful. You thought you were done, but the way his raspy voice is sending heat right to your cunt, it’s making you reconsider. You feel mellow, mind drifting from the high of your past ecstasy, the soft duvet under your back inviting laziness, and still your abused nerves are ready to go again. His fingers finds the apex of your sex, and starts slowly rubbing the hard pearl of your clit. You gasp and whine, it’s too much and yet it feels so good. 

"So sensitive," he comments softly. “Benny” you plead, not really knowing what you’re pleading for exactly. “Shh shh I know it’s a lot,” he coos, “but I’m sure I can make you come one more time.”

He bares his white teeth in a devastating smile, and keeps touching you, his other hand petting your flank and thigh. Your flesh feels raw under his fingers, like he’s touching the very center of you. It burns, but under the slight hurt, there is pleasure - bright and pure. Inexorably, he brings you to the edge until your whole body is resumed to one single point between your legs, your mind unable to process anything else. You come, hard, shaking under him, while Benny keeps praising you. Yes, go on, this one looks good - fuck, you’re so hot when you come. 

You have to bat his hand away because he won’t stop and you just can’t bear it anymore. He laughs and comes down on the pillow next to you, searching for your mouth. His lips find yours in a hungry kiss. You can taste yourself on his tongue, from when he had his head between your legs a couple orgasms ago. He really went all out on you today.

You feel him smile against your mouth, and you know he’s gonna say something stupid. Like a child too happy with their joke to hold on longer on it. His hand is reaching across the bed for something, and suddenly he parts from you, with the previously discarded romance book in hand. 

“So, where was I already?” He says very seriously, like he hadn’t been torturing you with pleasure a couple minutes ago. “Mm, yes, okay, here it is: Mister Pirate, you feel so good, I’ve never even felt something like this, keep going, hoooo” his fake groan of pleasure is muffled by the pillow you throw on his face. This old romance book is going to be way more entertaining than it seemed.

[jaeminscoffee]

Daddy Issues | S. Jn

Pairing | Seo Johnny x Fem!Reader

Genre | Smut, fluff

Wc;type | oneshot: 3.93k [not proof read]

Warning(s) | Pwp, dilf!johnny, y/n's a pillow princess, daddy kink, overstimulation, teasing, edging, dacryphilia, slight voyeurism, degradation kink, heavy use of the words 'doll, princess, slut, pretty, angel', typical lyra smut, i made haechan johnny's son (i was about to write changbin as johnny's son but decided against it) age gap, unprotected sex ( the Reader's on pills. Remember this is a fiction, don't play the wrong card irl) filth.

a/n- i found this request buried in my asks and was tempted to write it. Sure, the warning looks intimidating, but i know you wanna read it, y'all whores (ily) shoutout to @bakugou-is-my-bae @cvntzennie and @jenopollo for helping me decide what to post first! @suhpersonic

Minors try not to interact! <3

Age is just a number, so surely, there's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of, right? 

There's no reason for you to not fall for the friendly neighborhood bachelor, well not so bachelor bachelor, since he does go around asking people who knows of his marriage to pretend it never took place. 

Johnny's hot, super hot. Has the build of a supermodel. Has the face that one can only imagine belongs to a greek god, as you'd jokingly tell him how he seemed to be god's favorite and how you loathe Aphrodite for showing favoritism (which would always end up with you getting a very sultry, teasing look from the lad) 

Johnny has the type of personality that women can only wish the entirety of the male species would possess. He's an absolute sweetheart, life of the party, definitely the center of attention wherever he goes. And oh god, does he have an immaculate fashion sense. 

But Johnny's also the father of Donghyuck. Your best friend. 

More than being ashamed about the fact that you actually fell in love with a man who has a child of your age, it was the fact that you had to fall for Donghyuck's father of all people. 

Donghyuck is a sweetheart, definitely got his personality from his father but he's also got that glare that could creep the Lord's of the darkness from his father. He's got so much from his father that the resemblance is uncanny. 

You'd not want to get onto hyuck's bad side since you've gotten first hand experience at stopping him from almost committing homicide to someone who spoke shit about his friends, more specifically, you. 

But Hyuck's not in town. So a little fun with Mr. Suh wouldn't hurt anyone, correct? After all, you're still only a human with desires and the want to take risks. 

You'd always not so subtly drop hints at Johnny and he'd always give you that look that would have slick collecting itself between your thighs. A warning look. 

A look that said, "cross the line and you'll get it" 

But that's the thing, you want to get it and will do anything to get it.

"Y/n." 

You'd ask yourself less than a million times if you want to do this or not.

Sure, you weren't this hesitant when you decided to sext your best friend's father knowingly when he was in business mode to irk him up but that's one thing. 

And having to confront the same father who left a message smaller than a sentence that completely disregarded all the obscene text and images to show that he's not the slightest bothered or suprised by your behavior for that matter was another thing.

"Tomorrow at mine." 

It's almost as though he deals with hormonal teenagers one as such as yourself on a daily basis and that thought kind of backfired at you considering the whole 'Let's piss Johnny off so that he'd finally give me what i want' agenda. 

Ironic, huh? 

"Mr. Suh." you start hesitantly, unsure of what to call him, scared of what his reaction would be after your inappropriate shenanigans last night. 

Your stiff demeanor broke down a little with just a hint of shiver passing down your spine as you watch his features contort into a subtle but cocky smirk, "So now you're being all formal,"

"Well, what else would you like me to address you as?" you inquire, feigning oblivion to his tone and what he's implying at. "You tell me, doll. You seemed to have a lot of names to call me last night," he takes a step forward, prompting you to walk a step backwards, further into the corridors of his apartment and away from the actual location. 

"I do not know what you're talking about.. " you let your voice shrivel towards the end, eyes wandering around the complex, finding interest in every small detail as you avoid Johnny's teasing gaze. 

"You don't?" Johnny takes another step forward, latching his hands onto your forearms to prevent you from stepping further away, "You must have had a heavy sleep to forget all that you did last night," his voice drops dangerously low as he begins to walk backwards and back into the safety of his apartment, all the while keeping his gaze fixated on you.

"That won't do, would it? How about we take a walk down the memory lane? And see if that rings any bell?" He brushes your hair away from its static position on your shoulder, allowing him to appreciate all those fine details of your shoulders and neck that are exposed from your selection of clothing, an off shoulder. 

"How about we don't...?" You ask with skepticism, jolting slightly when you hear the door shut behind you and at the new intrusion of personal space by the lad.

"Why are you acting all shy now, Y/n? Weren't you the one so eager to get into her best friend's fathers pants? Just be the whore you are, darling. Your facade's fooling no one." okay you definitely didn't see that coming. 

Johnny's expressions morph into that of mischief as he watches your eyes grow wide and mouth fall ajar, "Am i not correct? Are you not a whore?" he asks with an eyebrow quirked up in a questioning manner.

You don't reply, almost as though the question was meant to linger in the open and that it was a rhetorical one. What you didn't expect, however, was for Johnny's hands to find pursuit around your neck, not necessarily applying pressure, but there as a warning. 

"Answer me." 

"I'm not.." you answer with a feeble voice, internally cringing at how squeaky you sound which only added to Johnny's amusement. 

"Really? Because I don't think good girls go around drooling at a divorced man, her friend's father for that matter and definitely do not send lewd images and voice out their fantasies to a guy twice their age, still want to pretend you're innocent? Or you admit it and we cut down the chase?"

"Yes, I am." you breathe out when his fingers tighten around your neck, a triumphant smile making its way onto his lips. Yet, Johnny felt the need to keep pushing,

"you're what?" 

"I am what you said I am," you speak, trying to avoid looking at the scrutinizing look on his face which seemed futile as he had his arms wrapped around your neck, keeping your head in place. 

"I want to hear you say it, doll. I need to hear you say it." At this point Johnny's intent was to get you into a flustered puddle in his hold and it sure as hell was going in that direction, seeing how you can't even hold his gaze for more than a few seconds in a shot. 

"I am.. I am a who-"

The sound of a phone ringing loud cut you off midway through your sentence, to which you were absolutely relieved. Johnny only seemed to grow annoyed the more he heard the phone ring. With a loud huff, he lets you go, not before giving you a stern look, "Go to my room." he instructed, making his way to the study. 

You let out a breath you've been holding in unknowingly the moment he steps away from you. You watch his figure retreat from you with awe, only now realizing how messy you felt between your legs and how your knees keep buckling. 

"Oh Hyuck!" you hear Johnny exclaim into the phone the minute you step forward to follow his command. 

Your best friend is on call with the guy you're about to fuck. 

Your blood runs cold as you shakily make your way into the apartment and towards the bedroom, shrugging off your sling bag, hanging it behind the door as you place your phone on the bedside table to wipe your hands dry from all the sweat that had accumulated at the palm of your hands. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, about to eat to my dinner actually" you hear the moment to make yourself comfortable at the edge of the bed, looking over to the door where Johnny stood with his arms across his chest, the other holding up the phone as he leans his weight onto one shoulder, leaning into the doorframe.

You take the time to really appreciate his appearance. He adorned nothing more than a simple grey sweat and tight black tee but he seemed ready to walk down a runway at any given moment now. His long hair, slightly disheveled looking almost intentionally messed up, compliments his features. And oh his features. 

The everlasting smirk stayed still on his lips, moving as he exchanged words with his son.

You only come back to your senses when Johnny snapped his free hand in front of you, gaining your attention. He points at his own shirt, then points at you, mouthing 'off' while he listens to Donghyuck speak about whatever he's speaking. 

"Really? Jeno said that? Tell him I'm more than willing to welcome him as my gym partner, the lad seems strong" Johnny makes a quick move to remove the gadget from his ear, before holding it in front of him after placing the call on speaker mode 

Your eyes widen the moment you hear the disturbance in the background and Donghyuck's voice resonate through the room. "no?? Why would you want to work out with him? He'll only make you feel old, you know?" 

"Says the one who still can't beat me at arm wrestling. If anything, i think Jeno would make the perfect gym buddy for me," Johnny raises an eyebrow at your defiance, cocking his head towards the side, staring down at you with a predatory look, "Hyuck, you know, Y/n-" you scramble to take your shirt off at the mention of your name on the call, "-stopped by earlier" he lets out a silent laugh of disbelief.

"Oh? Oh yeah! I'd told her I'd give her book back before I left but I forgot, did you perhaps give it back to her?" Donghyuck questions. 

"I figured you must've forgotten so, yeah i did." Johnny replies, pushing himself off of the doorframe, now walking towards you. 

"Man, I miss her! I might facetime her after I end the call with you," Johnny sets down the phone beside you on the bed, leaning down, placing both his hands on either side of your lap, finding comfort at the crook of your neck,

"I remember her mentioning something about her cousin coming over? Maybe wait for an hour or so before calling her" his lips graze against your neck each time he spoke, you let out a tiny whimper at the so longed feeling, only to earn yourself a small bite at the earlobe, immediately accompanied by a hand over your mouth, "you need to be quiet, doll. Or my son would find out how much of a slut his best friend is," he whispers in your ear. 

"Yeah? Did she mention which one?" 

"No, not really, she kinda just stormed out after getting what she wanted" Johnny creates a trail of kisses all the way from your neck to your shoulders, down the collarbone while one of his hand worked to unhook your bra, "Yeah, she's weird like that," you hear Donghyuck let out a chuckle as you whine into Johnny's palm, your figure slightly trembling from the fear of getting caught all the while being excited about the risky situation he's put the two of you in. 

"Anyways, I'll call you tomorrow? The boys are coming over now so I got to go! Night, dad!" Donghyuck speaks up again, "Night, Hyuck." 

You hear the beep indicating the call has ended. Johnny let's his hand drop from your mouth and makes its way towards your hair, brushing through the strands before pulling at it with a firm grip, "I had my son on call and here you are making all these sweet noises, you wanted to get busted, doll?" 

"It's not my fault! You-"

"ah-ah! Don't talk back, angel. You're already in deep trouble, don't want to add onto that now, do we?" He makes a swift move to have you lying on your back, your torso completely exposed to him while he remains clothed. 

"But Johnny-" you whine, jolting when you feel his hands caressing the soft flesh of your inner thighs, "How do you think Hyuck would feel about this?" his hands travel further north, cupping your heat from underneath your skirt. "fuck, you're drenched"

"Now tell me, pretty girl, what are you supposed to be calling me, now?" 

"Johnny-, tha-that was a joke! I don't have daddy kin-" you try clenching your thighs close from the sudden attention your core was receiving. Johnny wholeheartedly lets out a laugh at your attempt to hide your true feelings, making a quick act of disregarding your soaked panties somewhere behind him.

"Darling, the more you deny it, the longer we keep going at it-" his thumbs at your clit, applying pressure but making no move to quench your needs. You let out a sigh of bliss at the feeling, your back arching off of the sheets at the sensation.

In any other situation, you'd be embarrassed at how sensitive you'd gotten just from all the dirty talking and looks Johnny passed you. But that's the catch, he's Johnny, the only one who can get you this sensitive while doing the bare minimum. 

"Say it, Y/n." 

"No, Johnny! It's-it's embarrassing.." you plead with your eyes, grinding your hips against his fingers, earning a satisfied, dirty look from the lad. 

"Very well.. I'll just draw it out of you"

Without warning, Johnny with little to no resistance, slides two slender digits into your wetness, setting a pace fast enough to draw loud chains of cries from your mouth.

"You hear that, doll? You hear how fucking wet you are? Hm?" he growls animalistically, the thumb that remained on your clit now moving in circles with a motive to get you undone in seconds. 

"Johnn-..!" you whine out, feeling your orgasm growing so close that you could almost taste it, "Still going at that, angel?" he questions, not really expecting an answer as he soaks up the pleasured look on your face. "Johnny- I'm close.. -" you fail to notice the mischievous grin growing on his face as he speeds up the movement of his fingers. 

"Of course you are, doll" He feels you clench around his fingers, back coming off of the mattress as you ready yourself for your release, waiting until the last minute to draw his finger out.

"Why would you-? Johnn-I was so close!" you cry out as you sense your core clench around nothing, whining about the incomplete orgasm. "Why would I give you what you want when you wouldn't comply, baby? That's not how this works." He shrugs, licking his fingers clean of your essence, moving up from the bed to remove the shirt that seemed to be suffocating now.

"Johnny, please!" you whine louder, rubbing your thighs together to create some sort of friction, all unsatisfactory as it did not meet the same intensity as that of his fingers. 

"Please what, doll?" He smirks, knowing the ball is in his court and that you'd had to give in any moment now. Johnny leans down once again, drawing lazy circles at your clit, using his other hand to hold himself up above and close to you, his minty breath which had a hint of coffee fanning your face as you whimper, finally feeling your high building itself up again. "Spit it out, princess, you know you want to." he speaks in a soft voice.

"Please..please" you beg for nothing in particular, getting all worked up again, "The begging's lovely, doll. But you're starting to anger me here, will you say it? Or should I leave you hanging again?" 

You mutter prayers under your breath, hoping he wouldn't actually leave you hanging again, "Fine-" he moves again to remove his fingers from you to deprive you of pleasure all over again when you finally latch onto his wrist, keeping his hands in place blurting out, "Daddy! I'm so-sorry.. There, daddy, please make me come" you give in, the name, the feeling and look of pure victory on his face as he grins like a cheshire cat only intensifies the heat growing at a rapid pace at the pit of your stomach. 

"Final fucking ly, princess. Daddy will make you feel good" He reinserts his fingers in, drilling it with desperation to see you come undone as he draws rapid circles on your now sensitive clit with the other hand, watching you squirm under him.

"Joh-Daddy i'm coming..!" you cry out weakly as you feel your orgasm hit you with much force, easily driving you into over sensitivity. Johnny's patient in helping you ride out your orgasm, not stopping until you let out a throaty sob and plead him to stop to allow yourself some room to breathe. 

Johnny, however, makes no move to stop, only speeding up his fingers, his gaze fixed on where his fingers disappeared inside of you while his other hand held you down with a vise grip, "Give me one more, doll. I know you've got one more in you. " he pants, the feeling of his girth in confinement only throwing himself to sensory deprivation as he feels himself twitch inside his sweats painfully. 

You shake your head, tears now flowing elegantly down your cheek, your lips puckered into a slight pout, your eyebrows drawn together as you let yourself melt into the pleasure Johnny was providing you with. "Daddy.." 

You whine, feeling your second high reaching you ridiculously quick as you see Johnny's face contort in concentration, 

"I need to get you nice and wet for me, princess, you're doing so well. Give daddy another one" you coaxes you with his sultry tone, words and actions, inevitably having you come undone under him for the second time that night. 

You let out a choked moan, finally having enough as you curl upon yourself the minute Johnny removes his fingers from you, full fledged crying at the overbearing feeling of sensitivity. 

Johnny groans at the sight, leaning down to press a soft peck on your sweaty forehead before getting off of the bed to remove his pants alongside his boxer at a slow speed, granting you some time to recover.

"Condom?" he asks, readying himself to reach into the drawing when he notices you shake your head a no as a reply, "I'm on pills.." you mutter weakly. 

You hear him curse out at the thought of doing you raw, flexing his muscles before climbing on top of you again. He takes his time to gently turn you back onto your back, pressing his tender lips against your irritated one for the first time that night, his hand ever so slightly moving to play with your clit once again, making you jerk, "Daddy!" 

"Sorry, doll. Daddy just needs to make sure that princess is ready to take his cock" 

Your whining intensifies at his words, wiggling your hips to move closer to his own, "But I am ready! Look, daddy! I'm so wet and ready for you!" you whimper, earning a chuckle from the lad. 

Just like all the other times that night, he aligns his cock at your entrance without a warning, the tip ever so slightly pushing through your walls, "Alright, big girl. Show daddy how much of a slut you can be for him."

Suddenly, Johnny detaches himself from you, moving further away as he leans by the edge of the door, smirking at you whining at the loss of contact, "Patience, angel" 

He grabs hold of your hips, manhandling your body into all fours as he enters you completely with no trouble once he's got you where he wants you to be.  

Something about having to take Johnny from behind was so sexy that you could almost immediately feel your orgasm grow, "Fuck baby, keep clenching around me like that and i won't last long," he grunts, moving in you with a steady pace, 

"I never expected my son to befriend such filthy sluts like you, Y/n. Look at the mess you're making on my sheets" He grabs a fistful of your ass in a tight squeeze, the sudden shift in his demeanor only serving as a whiplash as you feel yourself growing closer and closer to the sweet orgasm. 

"Jesus, doll, you're so fucking tight i can barely move" Johnny growls, talking to keep himself from coming too fast. 

"Daddy.. I'm close. M-I'm so so close" you cry as your arms give out and you fall face first onto the mattress, the new stretch in your back only encouraging his cock to hit you deeper, finding the sweet cushion that serves as extra pleasure for you. 

"Me too, princess, me too.. '' You hear him let out a whine, his thrusts growing sloppier as he does you slower but deeper. 

He reaches around your body to find pursuit at your clit for the nth time that night, rubbing rapid, messy circles to go with his deep thrusts, "Daddy!" you reach your high with a high pitched cry of his name. 

Johnny comes not too long after you as he couldn't resist the constant tight clenching of your walls around his cock. He thrust slowly to ride out his high as you twitch helplessly, face scrunched up in too much pleasure. 

You feel your body being manoeuvred onto your side as he whispers sweet nothings which pass right through your ears as you feel him softened inside you, the feeling ridiculously soothing for your used up walls, 

"You did amazing, darling." he kisses your temple, not making any move to remove himself from within you, which you silently thanked him for. 

You both lay in silence as you turned your body towards him, earning a hiss and a playful smack from him as it added pressure onto his sensitive member. You wrap your arms around his torso, about to nuzzle into his chest and just drift away to dreamland when you hear the familiar ring of your phone from the table beside the bed. 

You feel Johnny's body shift to reach out to get your phone, looking at the caller ID before handing it to you with a smirk that you knew meant that he was up to no good. "Oh! It's hyuck" you exclaim in shock, quickly accepting the call and placing it near your ear, moving to get away from him. 

But Johnny seemed to have other ideas, as he latched an arm around your torso to keep you from moving, "Hey-" you begin, immediately feeling Johnny experimentally thrust into you again, making you whine, "Y/n! I miss you~-oh hey, are you okay?" you hear Donghyuck's voice from the other side, 

You look at Johnny with a pleading and warning gaze to which you earn yourself a toothy grin from the lad, 

"Of co-course! Just a little.. peachy,'' You turn around to place a hand on his chest to halt his movement, "You don't sound just peachy.. I've heard you like this before!" you hear Donghyuck make those noises he makes when he's thinking as Johnny keeps thrusting lazily the more you look at him, you see him open his mouth to speak, "Oh fuck! You're getting laid, aren't you???" 

"Tell Hyuck daddy says hi"

[cjsmalley]

The Mansons Have Questions:

“You’re breastfeeding,” Pamela pointed out.

“Frostbite’s—you met him, the yeti doctor—people have this…potion,” Sam explained as she cuddled Damain close, letting Danny and Tucker have a day to sleep, “it messes with the hormones or something so a woman yeti can breastfeed if she can’t naturally. They sequenced my DNA and created a variation of the potion. I have to keep taking it weekly or I might dry up.”

“But wouldn’t him nursing keep—”

“It’s magic, dad, magic and science not meant for human use,” she explained tiredly, “Frostbite tried explaining it, I have the pamphlet somewhere. But I don’t have the…”

“Knowledge,” her mother finished with a slow nod.

“Exactly,” Sam nodded back, even as she reached into the diaper bag for a bottle.

It was encased in ice but Sam merely pressed her promise ring to the bottle and the ice disappeared; the bottle heated.

“Clockwork—another ghost—did something to my ring,” she explained, “the ice was made by Danny. The ring can melt his ice now and then heat up the bottles. I pumped myself empty before I came here.”

The Mansons noted that she didn’t say ‘home’; they supposed they understood, she had been living with the Fentons.

Pamela steeled herself before asking, as Sam fed Damian, “Samantha, are you…active with Daniel?”

“No. We haven’t had sex,” Sam answered bluntly, “because he’s a halfa—he can phase through walls; what if his sperm can go through condoms? And I haven’t been too…routine with my pills since Damian came along. It’s a miracle when I remember my vitamins. I’ve dropped from vegan to just vegetarian because it’s easier. And neither me nor Danny have any interest in Tucker more than a friend.”

“But Damian—was he really just…Sold to Daniel?”

“He was sold to the Ghost King; coulda been anyone on the throne. Coulda been Pariah Dark for all his grandfather cared,” Sam hummed with a slight melody in her voice, “he’s technically Danny’s property. Chattel. A slave. Danny though—”

“He doesn’t want slaves,” Jeremy nodded with a small smile, “so when given a baby he declared him his son.”

“Yes. Then I took him as my son. I swear to anyone, on anything, that I did not give birth to him in any way, shape, or form, naturally, scientifically, or magically.”

Jeremy and Pamela still didn’t quite believe that but they let it go. There was nothing they could do about it now.

Manson lawyers worked fast and Damian was already adopted to their daughter and her boyfriend.

They were grandparents, again, either way and they would support the young parents.

The teens had stepped up for young Damian, not becoming overly reliant on their elders for childcare; the Mansons were content to finance for the baby like they did Danielle so Samantha and Daniel could focus on the children, school, and the Realms, in Daniel’s case.

“Why did you switch from formula?” Jeremy questioned.

“First, it’s better to breastfeed if you can,” Sam answered, now burping Damian like a pro, “better for the baby and the environment. Especially since Dami might have been premature. Second, it’s cheaper and we’re in a good position to make it work.”

“Samantha, we’ll pay—”

“I know, I know—oh, nice bass on that one—” she praised Damian for burping loudly before wiping his face with the burp rag and moving him back down into his sling against her chest for his nap, “I know, Mom, Dad. The money wasn’t the only reason, I promise. We did this—we three made this decision, I made this decision, because it’s best for Dami. I would have nursed Dani too if she were a baby. We want to give him every advantage.”

Sam paused before explaining, “We did do our research, you know. Books and we talked to his pediatrician. We talked to Frostbite too. Everyone, everything, said it would be for the best if I could do it. Talked to my doctor too. It’s as safe as can be for both Dami and me. Once he’s old enough to wean, I’ll slowly taper off the potion.”

Again, the older Mansons nodded in understanding.

“Do the others help with feeding Damian?” Jeremy asked, interested.

“Oh. Yes. I pump a lot, so we have an ice chest—iced over by Danny’s ice, Tucker has a necklace to melt it, like my ring—of bottles in Danny’s room and some in the kitchen fridge. We take turns. If I’m a little full I’ll nurse him but otherwise he gets bottles of pumped milk.”

She grinned, “He’s putting on weight like he should, since I started taking the potion. Doctor Peterson is pleased with his progress. If he was premature like we think, then he’s not so bad off like we were afraid of. Being ecto-contaminated like he is—we don’t know how though—is helping.”

“As long as he’s healthy,” Pamela agreed, “but, Samantha, what about your future—?”

“No more biological kids ‘til after marriage,” Sam explained quickly, “I’m still going to college. Me and Danny aren’t even risking another biological kid until things have settled and we’re out of high school. I do know his Council—the Observants—want him to start fathering kids as soon as possible but we’ve said no,” she sighed, “we don’t even know if he can father kids the normal way, because he is half-dead. Clockwork won’t say anything either way. As it is now, Dani’s his heir.”

“But his council wants back-ups,” Jeremy nodded.

“They also want a natural child of his body,” Sam explained tiredly, “Dani’s a half-clone. It’s already bad enough that they’re both only half-ghost.”

“But wouldn’t his children be only quarter-ghost?”

“Not if they’re conceived in the Realms; the ghost part should breed true. But, again, that’s if he can breed at all.”

“Oh.”

Wished Away 7:

Happy Thanksgiving (Early, I Know, Shut up):

“Father, Mother, and Uncle Tucker wish to invite you to our Thanksgiving meal,” Damian said.

“Are you sure?” Bruce asked, “we’re a lot.”

Even without Damian, Bruce had many children and cooking for all of them was sometimes a tall order.

Damian smiled, “We are aware. You are not the only family we are inviting. Every child Father, Mother, and Uncle Tucker has taken in we have invited along with their remaining family if they have any. Even the non-Americans have been invited.”

“We’d be delighted to come,” Alfred said for his family, “should we bring anything?”

“You may,” Damian agreed, “however, the chefs and cooks of the Palace will be preparing the main meal. It will be mostly meatless. Seitan mostly, in observance with mine and Mother’s dietary needs and our beliefs. It will also be made in-line with kosher regulations.”

“Cookies,” Jason said, looking at Alfred, “we can make vegan cookies.”

“Very well, Master Jason,” Alfred nodded, already planning for such a large batch, or several batches.

Damian grinned.

Thanksgiving Day arrived and the portal opened.

They filed through and were greeted by Sam, the younger Sam on her hip, “Happy Thanksgiving.”

Sammy just waved shyly, gaining fond chuckles.

They all echoed the sentiment and were led through the palace to one of the ballrooms, “Not even the large dining room is big enough to hold our horde,” she said with humor.

“Oh?”

“Everyone invited came,” Sam explained before visibly remembering, “Oh, and any red wine you see? Not red wine; we have a vampire in attendance. He eats human food but not really.”

“Of course,” Bruce nodded; only Dick was of age to drink, of his children, but neither one really drank. Still, it was good to know.

“’m assuming the vamp’s friendly?” Jason voiced.

“Friendly as in doesn’t eat humans anymore, yeah,” Sam nodded, “but, well, Spike’s Spike. You’ll understand once you meet him. Don’t go after his humans and he’s nice enough.”

“Fair enough,” Stephanie nodded.

“Also in attendance are a Vampire Slayer, several witches and wizards, two magic superheroes…basically everyone you met at Damian’s birthday party’s here. I know Spike wasn’t there; he had to babysit the Hellmouth that day, so he’s really the only new face. Him and his daughter, Hope.”

“Vampires can have—”

“She’s adopted, from a separate dimension. Danny brought her to the Hellmouth group to hide her. She’s being raised by Buffy and Spike.”

“Oh.”

They finally made it to the ballroom; the doors were wide open; servants rushed forward to relieve the Waynes of the platters of cookies they carried before they entered the room.

Most of the room was divided down the middle by a cartoonishly long dining table, bench seating on either side of it. Settings were already in place.

In one corner was a padded and gated off area where Anakin and the baby that could only be Hope played. Well, played as only young babies could, which wasn’t much.

Dotted around the room were small clusters of regular chairs and beanbag chairs, some of which were already occupied, surrounding small tables with pitchers of water and juices and, yes, blood.

Spike the vampire was easy to pick out from the masses because he had a glass of what looked like red wine in hand. Nobody else did.

The Waynes spread out, first finding Damian to say hello, then mingling and visiting with the friends made at the birthday party.

Bruce made his way towards the vampire.

“’Lo,” Spike greeted lowly over his drink, Buffy at his side.

“Hello, Buffy,” Bruce said before smiling with a closed mouth, “and you must be Spike. Bruce Wayne.”

“Not an ape, mate,” Spike snorted, “won’t attack if you smile at me. Sit down, take a load off. Hear you’re Batman. The real deal one.”

“I am,” Bruce took a seat, reaching to fill a cup with orange juice, “where did you hear it from?”

“Dawn was excited; her little brother’s bio-dad is Batman,” Buffy explained, rolling her eyes fondly, “one of my friends, Xander, is a big comic book nerd.”

“Ah. I assume there won’t be any problems?”

“Not from us,” Spike agreed, nudging Buffy with a smirk, “my girl here’s a superhero too. Won’t be any trouble from our lot. Right, Slayer?”

“Yep. No problems from us. If Danny and Sam are good with you being…you know, you then we’re good,” Buffy nodded, “just as long as you don’t put Dawnie or Hope in a suit.”

“I don’t want them out there,” Bruce grumbled, “but if I didn’t help them, they’d all be dead by now.”

“We get it, honestly,” Buffy assured, “Dawn’s given us enough gray hair,” she grinned mischievously at Spike, “she’s even given Billy Idol here some.”

“Slayer, you know that pissant stole—”

Bruce laughed.

Everyone mingled and chatted for a few hours before the meal began; servant after servant carried food and drinks to the main table as everyone found seats on the benches.

Spike and Danny placed the babies into highchairs.

By the time everything and everyone was ready, the table was fairly groaning with the meal.

Danny gained everyone’s attention, standing and grinning, “Welcome to Thanksgiving Dinner at the Palace. Thank you all for coming, even our non-Americans for putting up with our silly traditions.”

The non-Americans laughed fondly, nodding; even Alfred cracked a smile.

“For those who’re probably wondering,” he continued, “our essential living staff celebrated at lunch and most will have the day off tomorrow. Everyone else had the day off today. Now, normally we’d go around and say what we’re thankful for but we’d be here forever if we did that tonight. So, while we eat let’s just think about what we’re thankful for and enjoy the food and the company. Oh, and just so you know, everything’s kosher and most of the ‘meat’ is actually Seitan. Real meat is on the green platters. But before we begin, let’s give a round of thanks to the kitchen staff for making the food!”

Everyone applauded.

“Now, tuck in!”

They all did so with gusto; the meal was magnificent and it was clear the Palace staff had put their all into it.

Most of the Seitan was shaped into meat product appearances, looking indistinguishable from the real turkeys and hams. And it tasted almost like the real things too.

The meal lasted well into the night and everyone went home stuffed and with leftovers.