#now i dont go policing peoples identities so if you identify as those then i dont really care at all lmao

[butchcharliee]

.

[delphientropy]

BLOCK LIST

BIG LIST OF A BUNCH O PEEPS I BLOCKED

as well as why! i'll add on as i go!:)

we do NOT condone harassment, please just block.

includes: pro/endos, radqueer, transID, anti good faith, and more!! XP

first off, so were on the same page, what are these and why are they bad?

pro/endos: try to demedicalize a dissociative disorder, claim you can be a system without trauma, more info here 👉 [X] [X] (both are carrds that link multiple sources) (sorry they didnt save ill put it in later)

radqueer: these are people who transIDs (transage, transrace, etc. these people claim to identify as a different race or even pretend to "transition" into being disabled like transautistic) or ARE them.

anti good faith: good faith identities are basically identities made in good faith. this tends to encompass "contradictory" identities such as lesboys and other mspec identities. anti good faith people police gender and sexuality identities and invalidate these peoples experiences and try to exclude them from spaces or tell them what THEIR sexuality is. dont be misguided into thinking you're doing good if you exclude these people, its splitting up the lgbtq+ community, and thats what they (TERFs, anti-lgbtq+) want us to do.

now onto the blocklist!:)

radfems, TERFs, and transmeds

pach1-pach1 (deleted his dni but befor it was deleted it said that they support vivzie, are anti xenogenders and neoprns iirc, and anti good faith. a reply on my post abt telling ppl to block them also said theyre a transmed, so did another account. theyve also been seen harassing anti endos despite claiming to be it himself) (they own syspunk-is-anti-endo-losers as well)

radfem-vex

mint-fem

PRO/ENDO

boosystem

domni99

pluralpolls

youokaybro

plural-blocklist

eunoiasys

circulars-reasoning

citadelofmarks

inclusysboxes

thestarpletsystem

bunfart90

alterhuman-culture-is

interstellarsystem

bokuwaamdalla

brainmade-culture-is

fictive-culture-hub

navelgazed

pluralprompts

astrophale-and-fischl

syscourse101

aura-dragonfly

parsnipkit

phantomhunt

funnier-as-a-system

funnier-as-a-fictive

multiplicity-positivity

analog-transid (also transID, as implied in the name) (they run the blog alters-in-a-box which is one of those alter pack things)

freezingnarc

whore-hangout (its 18+ as implied keep yourself safe)

notteserver

cardsoffools (harassed me and told me to kms 🫶)

fools-temps (run by cardsoffools)

the-bride-and-the-ugly-ass-groom

RADQUEERS

stashys-radqueer-userboxes

1nklingsanitized

bisexualsafespace

radqueer-empire

maskaphiliax (also transID, also they have alfreds playhouse in their banner so please be safe)

ANTI GOOD FAITH

kowalapantheon (also a.. "plural aligned singlet?") (headmate blogs are nonexistent-loli, trans-obsessive-love-disorder, ex-harmful-transpeaceful)

forced-silence (18+, lots of violence, please beware on their page)

zomb-bunny (also think they harassed someone??? i cant remember or find the post)

starry-city-sys

endopropoganda

parxgender (also ace exclusive, anti pan/omni, and anti mogai)

yourfavehatesmspeclesbians (because god forbid someone have a complex relationship with gender and sexuality.)

mspobjects

the-party-city

pollingsystems (also doesnt believe in transandrophobia. wtf.)

OTHER

anti-lies (spreads misinformation that can be paranoia-inducing)

theinfernalcollective (claims that bullying isnt valid enough to be a system) (TRAUMA IS TRAUMA.)

disys (same as above)

permababy (transID, doesnt label themself as radqueer but does reblog it)

problema-non-grata (pro transID discourse blog)

thefakersystem (demonizes systems and those with personality disorders, anti good faith, fakeclaimer (literally, fakeclaims EVERYONE.) harasses people minding their own business, overall the worst asshole i think ive ever blocked. dear fucking lord.)

cringey-systems (dumbbb dumb baby fakeclaimer doesnt think systems are real dumb idiot baby man who reblogs systems and calls them fake because they have no life ♡)

ALTER PACKS

(people who make ID packs for people to "create" their own headmates, all are pro endo, radqueer, and transID)

build-a-headmate

alterpacks

headmatestickerbook

naris-alter-shop

brainpal-gachapon

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

can i be a lesbian who uses he/him pronouns? my reasoning for this is:

i am afab, i like girls, and i do not want to medically transition. i cannot even wear a binder and stuff as I’d like to for a good many years until i’m out of my parents house. i don’t use labels for my gender but if i did have to label my gender identity it would be something like genderfluid and agender. i dont feel like i have a gender but i fluctuate between feeling like i want to present masculine and use he/him, like i wanna present adroynous and use they/them, like i wanna present as feminine and use she/her. but i feel masc presenting and comfy w/ he/him most of the time. however, i’m only out to like two people, and both of them, while queer or a good ally, still see me as a girl bc i go the same girls school as them, cant present as masc, etc. and it’s obviously the same everywhere else - society, friends, family, treat me like a girl, even if i’m not one. i grew up as girl, i feel like - i only started feeling like i wanted to use he/him and present as masc in my late teens. and i like girls! i love girls. and my love for girls and for women is so shaped my the fact that i spent most of my life as a girl (feeling like one, that is), so shaped my the fact that society and friends and family perceive me as a girl even tho i’m not. that’s why calling myself straight would feel…. wrong, at least to me, you know? bc. yeah. i do wanna present as masc and use he/him pronouns most of the time. but i’m never really gonna be seen as a boy by most people. i wasn’t a boy for most of my life. and my love for girls and women is shaped so much by those two things that i feel comfortable with the term lesbian, while simultaneously wanting to be addressed by he/him pronouns. so, like….. it feels so awful, i feel like such a terrible person. bc i’be spent so long fighting myself out and now that i finally feel like i’m comfy with my identity i don’t actually feel comfortable at all, i feel like i’m hurting women, or i’m stupid. i just saw a post the other day that said smth like ‘while every1 can identify as they wish it bothers me that he/him ppl use the term lesbian, as women need a term solely for women who like women’ which, like. i feel terrible about. women have been through so much already for all of history, there’s a reason l comes before g in the acronym, and i don’t wanna stomp on them and all the progress they’ve made, i don’t want to be a bad person…. But at the same time, oh god, after years of trying to figure myself out, i finally feel like i have. and i’m happy with that fact, really happy. but i’m also so angry at myself bc i don’t wanna harm the community by using a label that maybe doesn’t belong to me…? is it ok for me to use the term lesbian and he/him pronouns, or should i just… not? idkkk😭

Of course you can man fuck yeah!!!!!! You can do whatever you want forever of course you can be a he/him lesbian!!!!!!

You’re not a terrible person, you’re not stupid, and you’re not hurting anyone. A lot of lesbians have complex relationships with gender and aren’t just Cis Women. You can be a masc lesbian, be agender and genderfluid, and use he/him!! The Queer Police aren’t gonna break your door down homie do what feels comfortable with your identity!!

There’s a long history of he/him lesbians and you’re not hurting anyone. If you wanna use he/him, use he/him.

The foundation of the queer community is to allow people to express themselves, be happy and comfortable in who they are. You’re not harming anyone in the least—you are what this community is all about. Be who you are, and if who you are is a lesbian who wants to use he/him, go ahead!!!!

Sending love, and I hope I could help you out <3

[pixeljade]

One thing I wish people werent so ready to shut down immediately is the narrative that a lot of anti-queer people are themselves closeted queers. Because its always shut down in this mentality of "This is saying that queers are oppressing themselves!!" But, when you think about it for five seconds that silly! Queers oppress themselves all the time! When some newly-out gay says kink doesnt belong at pride, that's a queer perpetuating oppression against queers. When a lesbian falls prey to anti-man TERF ideology and spouts it against the trans people around them, that's a queer perpetuating oppression against queers. When queers go around policing identity terms of any kind, thats queers perpetuating oppression against queers.

Its appealing to try and paint our reality with a clear division between "oppressor" and "oppressed", but thats rarely the case. Certainly it's largely the non-queers who threaten us, and we should never forget that, but they learned long ago how to sow division among us. The true enemy isnt even them though, if you ask me, the true enemy is the idea that there's even a division between queers and non-queers. That division is purely a social construct, and we are all just humans trying to put our messy, organic feelings into a rigid box for convenience's sake. But the minute you try and put a label on us, those labels become battle standards, and the war starts over again. Obviously now, we wear our labels with pride in order to defend "our side", but we mustnt forget that at the core of our struggle is the idea that all these behaviors are exactly as normal as non-queer ones, and that we should be fighting for a world where we dont even need to "come out", because being with or identifying as a woman or a man or a non-binary genderfuck should be as normal and acceptable as anything else. Taxonomy's a scam to launder conservative ideas into leftist culture, and should be rejected. And more than anything, we need to accept that sometimes, our conservative uncle really wants to bone guys but thinks that's the devil's temptation, that the lawmaker banning sodomy in 2024 might be having wicked secret orgies, and that the oppressor and oppressed are not as neat and tidy as we'd like.

[expfcultragreen]

ahem.

Demiro

Now wait, before you say...

...hear me out. Im not even serious when i say this, but im like a huge joke to myself so its actually just self revelation in the guise of outrage-baiting the identity police (the anti-identitarian police? Theyre always just mad at specific identities; they dont hold some philosophical stance against identification, just how to identity/what its acceptable to identify as/what acceptable discourse around identity is) with snowflakery. My first thought after lol demiro, is, what does demiromantic even mean, i have an attachment disorder? Ok im killing the shrink in my head, its a reasonable signifier of an adaptive trait amounting to one facet of someone's identity. I mean we are out here labelling our degrees of romantic engagement. It's completely legitimate information for a dating profile, and because of facebook culture we are all, cross-platform, expected to inventory ourselves to some extent so that people can easily prejudge their level of interest in our content. (The different conventions followed are themselves biographical--does your twitter bio read like a business card, a webadmin sig, is it a bunch of emojis, a string of credentials, a microarray of party affiliations? Minority status report, fandom bingo sheet, quoted poetry? Larper resume? Astrology chart? No matter which one it is, the other details fill themselves in from there, dont they watson.

I got off topic)

I do wonder how useful that information is tho, demiro, like im back to my question of what does that even mean--to anyone? It could really only be relevant to someone who's trying to date me, its not particularly relevant to me because its not really something im heavily invested in as a question, how willing or able i am to engage in romantic attachment. It's an errant thought "what if for a giggle i identified as demiro like thats an immediately comprehensible term--and even if it is immediately taken for its intended meaning, doesnt that level of context only serve to beg some perplexity or mystification as to why?" Doesnt it beg the questions ive asked? Like even if you immediately get that its of an ilk to aro, as demi is to ace...i imagine youre still saying fuck is this shit

....unless youre someone who uses the demiromantic tag? Jesus it autosuggested it, theyre out here. Im not tagging it. I bet theyre serious.

I literally do not know how i would go about inventorying whether im fully romantic or not. I feel like im way more romantic than most real world examples i see but i also fall short of my own sense of being one hundo non-aro. Being poly i have this tendency to split attention and even when i have a primary partner im not like fully or exclusively attuned to them and that interferes with my ability to attune to them as needed, to the extent or at the times necessary. And i let it...because im more concerned about the repercussions of having all my emotions invested in one person it might not work out with, than i am uncomfortable with the distance that creates for people who sense that if i was fully romantically engaged in them individually, i would be more attuned to their needs, preferences etc. I think ive been in a successive withdrawing away from "codependency" over the course of my primary romantic partnerships and attachments, that its a learned response that probably even produced neuroanatomical changes that would have been minutely perceptible if finely measured over time. Of course it would be so impossible to parse those trimmings, junctions and formations from all the other shit i do thats producing changes. I heard drinking kills brains cells. And ive smokened a bowl or twain...

[ppnuggie]

　　　　300 follow event :: MATCH UPS

　thank you so much for 300 followers !! :D even if its not that many ,, its a lot to me !! i hope you all are enjoying my blog so far ,, even if its gotten sidetracked from being just a transformers x reader blog ,, and turned into more !! however ,, as a celebration for this ,, im doing match ups for my followers !!

　if you’re interested in the matchups ,, then by all means feel free to ask for one !! :) however ,, there are some rules to this ,, and please be sure to read them !! if you dont ,, and you dont follow the rules ,, i will not do your match up :| i made sure to put those in bold and colored lettering ,, since some people may overlook all this text ,, and then ill have handfuls of matchups to do that people didnt listen to the rules for.

the matchup you receive will have :: the character i match you with ,, small headcannons of your relationship w/ the character ,, and a small scenario. i have a format for it <3 so heres the template im using so you have an idea :)

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐃 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 :

𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄𝐒 :

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐎 :

　　rules —

001 :: please be following me for this !! as this event is for my followers ,, not just anyone !! its alright if you follow me now and do it ,, but please don’t unfollow me afterwards just for the matchup. if you’re going to want to get the matchup and you follow me ,, the least you can do is at least look at some of my works.

002 :: be sure to specify what fandom you want a matchup for !! i do a few fandoms :: lost in space ,, transformers (tfa ,, tfp ,, g1 ,, bayverse ,, cyberverse ,, rescue bots ,, siege trilogy ,, beast wars) ,, brave police j decker ,, alien ,, predator

003 :: be specific in your match up !! you dont have to include your appearance if it makes you uncomfortable ,, however i need some info on your personality !! it helps a lot to know your personality !! feel free to include your likes and dislikes too ,, it also helps !!

004 :: i dont mind doing a match up for anyone ,, regardless of race ,, gender ,, sexuality ,, identity ,, religion ,, etc… i personally dont care what you identify as or what your race or religion is ,, it has nothing to do with me and i will not discriminate against you for any of those things. :) however ,, if theres a certain gender preference you want then just say so !!

005 :: please be patient ,, as i am busy with not only requests but also other match ups !! it would mean a lot if you could wait !! :)) please send your matchup in my dms or inbox !! whichever you’re comfortable with <33

006 :: please do not ,, and i will repeat ,, do not do this when you describe your personality — “im very depressed and lonely, i have no friends” — i swear on my life this is unrelated to matchups. ive had to deal with this sort of thing so much, its bothersome. please do not do this, and/or list a character(s) that you like most, because if you do this, im deleting your matchup right away. i mean it.

　　　　template (optional) ::

personality ::

likes ::

dislikes ::

fandom ::

any sort of gender preference ::

　　　　fandoms ::

- transformers — rescue bots ,, animated ,, prime ,, g1 ,, war for cybertom trilogy ,, cyberverse ,, robots in disguise 2015 ,, beast wars

- lost in space — only the robots (sar ,, robot ,, scarecrow)

- xenomorph — just a regulary drone xenomorph and/or queen xenomorph — maybe even a king xenomorph

- brave police j decker — just the handful of characters ,, the robots that is :: deckerd ,, shadowmaru ,, gunmax ,, power joe ,, power joe ,, dumpson

- predator — wolf ,, city hunter ,, scar ,, celtic ,, jungle hunter ,, ap ,, fugitive ,, feral ,, berserker ,, tracker ,, falconer

　　　　　link to the 100 follower event :: 🟪

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[nonbinaryresource]

ive been thinking abt this for a little while & have been needing to ask someone abt it. i am nb & have always considered myself trans but recently ive not been vibing with the trans label bc i am so sick of seeing ppl exclude & invalidate nb ppl. ik that i shouldnt stop doing smth just bc other ppl r being assholes but its so tiring to see ppl constantly say how u dont belong or arent valid. srry this is long & kinda rambly i just dont really know how to feel abt it

I will directly address your ask, but I’m going to start by telling you a story about my journey with identifying as asexual and queer.

.

When I was about 11, my friends suddenly started drooling over magazines and calling people hot, and I didn’t know what it was, but I knew I did not feel whatever it is my friends were feeling.

Until I was about 16/17, this part of me remained a mystery to me and to my friends. I never had crushes, I never found people hot, I never liked complimenting people physically, I was uncomfortable with sex on TV, and I didn’t even like platonic touch. Now my group of friends were all repressed and closeted queer folk, so I didn’t have to deal with “being left behind” as my friends dated. But the later we got into high school, the more my friends began discovering and exploring their sexualities.  A freshman became a part of our friend group and was openly trans and gay. One friend came out as gay. Another as bi. They started commenting more and more about other’s looks and having crushes.

Still, there was nothing on my end. My friends used to think I was just being vague and secretive because this is what I tended to be like. I don’t think they’ve ever realized how much of it was that I truly didn’t know or understand what my lack of sexual feelings meant or that it could even mean anything. I used to just consider it a “nothingness” of myself. Until, by complete chance, I came across the term asexual. I immediately connected with it. It explained so much that I didn’t even know I needed explained.

I came out quickly after that and I was really excited and happy and proud to know who I was and what how I felt meant. My friends were great and supportive. My mom was a little ignorant but overall supportive. AVEN was great and a community for me. But if I tried to talk about it anywhere else online…

Well, the effects of how people treated me would fester for years. See, I came out as asexual before exclusionism (the specific movement of anti-aro and anti-ace erasure and gatekeeping from lgbt+ spaces) was a movement or a named thing. Yet exclusionist attitudes were exactly what I faced. My queer friends all completely accepted me as one of them and I helped co-run our school’s new GSA with the rest of them. But online, as a teen, I was facing 30+ year olds telling me I wasn’t queer and that I was just trying to seem special and that I needed to shut up about my asexuality and my experiences and that I wasn’t valid and that asexuality wasn’t a real thing and that even if asexuality was a real thing it wasn’t valid and it certainly didn’t matter.

I graduated high school and went to college and was no longer really in touch with my group of friends. I therefore completely cut myself off from any lgbt+/queer community, even though a friend invited me to join the college’s queer association. I stopped participating so much in online asexual spaces. I become wrapped up in other things.

A couple of years went by and a lot of things in my life changed. By chance, mod applications for a blog about aro and ace headcanons for a fandom I enjoyed came across my dash. I had extra time on my hands and thought I could help, so I applied and was accepted. This increased my exposure to the aspec community again and thrust me back in… just around the time exclusionism was becoming a specific and named movement of bigotry.

At the same time I resisted these ideals, I was also still hurt and unhealed from what I’d gone through as a teen. I internalized a lot of the hatred and gatekeeping. I was so hurt and so tired. I just wanted to be able to exist in peace. And people I considered myself one of were harassing me and dismissing even my biromanticism. So I struggled with my identity and my asexuality. I did not specifically become an exclusionist, but I turned my back on the lgbt+ community and spaces. I did not consider myself lgbt+ because I learned that doing so only brought pain and upset and made me feel alone and isolated. I didn’t speak a lot on exclusionism or inclusionism, but at some point I did make a plea to my fellow aspecs to just let the larger community go and be our own community and accept that maybe we could be straight. I did it out of desperation and hurt, wanting to stop feeling targeted and attacked and to stop seeing the fighting on my dash and in the tags. I just wanted us all to be happy and feel accepted and supported.

On that post, one wonderfully kind and patient person opened up a discussion with me, explaining their own hurts over exclusionism and being so damn exhausted of them and fellow aspecs being targeted and excluded and written out and not supported and feeling like they had to split their asexuality from their other queer identities and how being asexual was a part of them and how it had strongly shaped their experiences, especially with realizing and coming to terms with the other parts of their queer identity. And through their raw honesty I came to realize… I had never stopped to process the harassment I had faced and the pain and hurt that cut me so deeply.

It was a changing point for me. I realized that I had handled my pain in a bad way and had ended up lashing out at other aspecs instead of the people who were actually hurting me. I realized how much I had hurt myself and held myself back and cut myself down and dismissed parts of myself trying to fit into the box exclusionists had laid out for me, as if I could ever made them happy enough to stop harassing me and just let me exist. I cut myself down for them, but the truth is that exclusionists don’t just want aspecs “out” of the community. They want to hurt us. They want us to hurt. They want us to doubt ourselves. They want to feel strong and powerful, and they feel they can achieve this through bullying us. Perhaps some, like myself, are trying to appeal to their oppressors by pointing out another vulnerable group they could target more/instead. They are passing on hurt instead of standing up to it and so they are actually festering in hurt instead of changing anything.

Today, I am a staunch inclusionist. I understand myself and the issues aspecs face much better. I am a more compassionate person regarding the confusion and upset aros and aces have over their identity and their place in the world. I feel more stable and confident regarding my identity as an asexual - and now as an aromantic - queer person who is lgbt+.

But it was a long, hard, difficult journey to get here. It was full of a lot of turmoil. I wish I would have had a happier journey where I felt more supported and accepted, and I hope I can help provide more stability and support for future generations to not have to go through what I did.

.

My point (or one among a few, anyway) is that I deeply and personally understand how you are feeling and the decision facing you now. As someone who went through a very similar experience, my advice to you is to take care of yourself and to prioritize your mental health.

It’s okay if you can’t handle identifying as trans right now. Maybe you do need some space from the label (and definitely from the hatred and gatekeeping). Maybe you need to pull back from certain communities or blogs or discussions.

However, I will say that not identifying as trans may not bring the peace you desire. It may end up making you feel even more isolated. Not identifying as LGBT+ certainly didn’t help me. It was reactionary and it only made me feel like there were less spaces for me. That said, you may find peace in this. But I think the bigger action to take is to separate yourself from those who are saying harmful things more than to separate yourself from a label you feel really suits you. Use your block button liberally. Don’t force yourself to partake in spaces where gatekeeping is allowed or encouraged. Follow and listen to more people who are inclusive.

I think burnout like this is unfortunately pretty common. You do not have to force yourself to face this hatred or exhaustion because you think it’s the right thing to do. It’s okay to pull back and just take care of yourself. Just work on some self-care. Work on building up a community of people around you who don’t resort to bigotry and hatred and exorsexism and gatekeeping and identity policing. Engage only with what you can actually, honestly handle.

We will confront and move past this bigotry only by acting as a united front. The responsibility for improving things isn’t on any one person’s shoulders. And no one needs to be on the front lines 100% of the time, especially at the cost of their own wellbeing. Take care of yourself and rest now before you completely burn out and break down.

You do not have anything to prove, okay? I have both hope and faith that there is a lot more to your journey - a lot more good things and a lot more happiness and belonging. Take whatever time it is you need to help heal yourself and recover from the hurt and harassment that’s been plaguing you. You are important and you matter, much moreso than whatever label you use at whatever point in time. It will be okay.

I am here for you.

~Pluto

[phantoms-lair]

Scooby and the Gang having quirks? That would be cool. Like, four superpowered kids and their probably also superpowered dog are amateur detectives instead of heroes. But they frequently run into other pro heroes, (like Scooby Doo team up) and have to help in anyway they can without breaking any quirk related laws. (Which they probably already do on a daily basis but they dont want to do that around pros, could get arrested.)

The signs had been there for quite a while, but none of them had picked up on them. At the time it seemed like another internet hoax. A baby that glowed in Japan. A woman who could create ice in Italy. But in the age of video editing, no one took them too seriously.

It didn’t become real for the gang until about a year and a half after the glowing baby started the craze of people declaring they had super powers. They had been on a road trip and Fred had been repairing a tire when his lug wrench snapped.

“Oh no,” he moaned. A spare tire he had, a spare wrench no so much. “I think we need to call the auto service."

“Like, let me.” Shaggy made a gesture like he was pulling something from thin air and grasped an identical wrench from the air.

“How did you do that?” Fred asked, impressed. “You’re wearing short sleeves, so you couldn’t have been hiding it up them.”Shaggy shrugged. “Like dunno, man. I want something, I reach for it, and it’s there.”

“Very funny, Shaggy.” Velma plucked the wrench from his hand. “Carbon steel, just like Fred’s old one.”

“You can tell, just by looking?” Fred asked, even more impressed.

“Certainly. It’s not that hard, you just focus on something and you can tell, you know?”

“No.” came the response from all of them.

“Really?” Velma asked, surprised. “It’s really not that hard.”

“It’s not that it’s ‘not that hard’, Velma. It’s flat out impossible.” Daphne explained, leaning out the Mystery Machine’s window.

“No, it’s not. I do it all the time.” Velma argued back.

“Hey, do you think this could be related to that superhero thing?” Fred asked, a note of excitement in his voice. “With people randomly developing super powers?”

“Fred, that’s not a real thing.” Velma rolled her eyes.

“Well, why don’t you test out whether Shaggy’s ‘power’ works while Fred fixes the wheel.” Daphne offered. 

“I’m telling you super powers don’t exist.” 

~

“I can’t believe this exists.” Velma said with tonelessly as she looked at the building in front of her

“Like me either.” Shaggy shuddered. “Like in comic books the government creating a registration list for supers always precedes real bad stuff.”

“At least you guys have it easy.” Fred pointed out “Tell them your power, demonstrate, then you get your registration card. Daph and I have to go through a whole battery to figure out if we even have a power.”

“I guess we meet up back here when we’re done.” Daphne gave them all a hug. “Good luck everyone.”

~

“I have a power!” Daphne ran out, waving a tiny plastic card. “You know how I haven’t been falling into trap doors as much anymore? I have some kind of radar and I’ve been subconsciously sensing the right way to go.”

“That’s great,” Velma said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster for the laws of physics breaking further.

Daphne knew how she felt, though, and didn’t take offense. “Shaggy’s not out yet? I figured he’d be fast, like you.”

“He was. But someone heard Scooby talking and turns out that’s not normal. So now they’re investigating animals developing powers.” 

“What even is normal?” Daphne wondered out loud.

“Not the same as it was five years ago,” Velma agreed sadly.

It was about half an hour later before Fred came out. “Hey, where’re the guys?”“Sweet Freedom!” Shaggy and Scooby all but bounded out of the building. 

“That took a while. They really weren’t ready for a dog with powers, were they?” Daphne smiled.

“Nah, they took that pretty well. Even had a metal working guy who could make a dog tag for him.”

Scooby moved his tag aside to reveal a new one under it, identifying him as a Class C Shapeshifter.

“Class C?” Velma inquired.

“Minor body changes, can’t change color.” Shaggy shrugged. “What kept us so long was the lectures.” he groaned.

“Lectures? What lectures?” Daphne looked to Velma and Fred to see if they had any idea what Shaggy was talking about.“‘Creating cash is still counterfeiting’, ‘Don’t make enough gold to crash the economy’. And like, it was heavily hinted I should go easy on making jewels and stuff.”

“I guess your power is kind of easy to abuse.” Fred admitted.

Daphne put a hand on Shaggy’s shoulder. “Diamond’s values are artificially inflated so make as many as you want.”

“Like, I’d rather just go get a hamburger or twelve.”

“At least something still makes sense.” Velma muttered.

“This is really bugging you, isn’t it?” Fred asked.

“Of course it is! Superpowers make no sense. Everyone in the world getting random ones? Even less sense. This is not something science can explain.”

“Yet” Fred added. “This isn’t something Science can explain yet. They’ll figure it out. Who knows, maybe you’ll be at the forefront of the discovery.”

Velma gave a weak smile. “You always know what to say, Jones. Come one, let’s get Shaggy his burgers before he wastes away to nothing.”

Shaggy and Scooby were in the back of the Mystery Machine before anyone could say anything else.

The others laughed and headed to the van. Fred was secretly relieved that everything had distracted his friends from the small plastic card in his wallet. For the most part it was the same as theirs, Photo, State ID Number, Date of birth. The only difference was next to Power: was the word ‘None’.

~

“I suppose it would become inevitable that the bad guys started using their powers,” Daphne sighed as the illusionist was packed into the back of the police car. 

“But we solved it anyway.” Velma was grinning. “We just needed to expand on what we previously considered was possible.” 

“And, like, we even did it before the heroes showed up.” Shaggy grinned. Probably the most predictable thing in all this were the real life superheroes starting to show up. New laws were being shaped, but right now it was a little bit of chaos. Still, they lived in a world with superheroes and Shaggy couldn’t help but think that was cool.

Two officers approached them. “Looks like everything all wrapped up. We just need to straighten up something on you statements.” The younger one said kindly.

“On your statements you were asked to write down your powers, but one of you didn’t see the need to comply.” The older glared at Fred who shrunk away.

“It’s not that I didn’t want to, I just-”

“Tell me what your power is, now.” 

Fred felt his mind haze over. “I don’t have one. I’m just normal.”

The cop raised his eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? That must feel pretty terrible.”

“It does. I feel like dead weight weighing everyone down.”

“For the love of God, Frank, knock it off.” The younger cop shook his partner and the cloud lifted from Fred’s mind. 

He snapped back into reality and realized the gang had closed ranks around him. Velma and Daphne were on either side, Shaggy behind him with a hand on his shoulder, and Scooby in front of him, hackles raised.  Then he remembered what the cop had made him say and felt shame start to well up inside him. Sure he had been jealous, but it was okay as long as he never voiced those feelings. Only now someone had taken control of his tongue and forced the words out.

“We should be fine, why don’t you kids head on home.” The younger cop waved them off and pulled his partner away.

“You know none of us think you’re dead weight, don’t you Fred?” Daphne asked softly.

“I know. It’s just in my head.”  Fred had never felt so small in his life. “Can we go home? Please?”

~

The Gang never brought the incident up again. They’d never been specially showy with their powers (or quirks as they were coming to be known), mostly out of deference to Velma’s discomfort. Now it was complete radio silence. Fred was grateful on one level that his friends were that considerate over something so amazing, but still wished Officer Frank had never made him say anything. He couldn’t help resenting the man, and had taken to letting Velma do most of the talking to law enforcement. He felt a little cowardly over it, but figured with Scooby and Shaggy scared of everything under the sun he was allowed this.

They had just figured out the mystery of the ‘Banshee’ haunting the old shack and were at Fred’s favorite part - setting the trap.

“Okay, I think all we need is about a foot more twine and I think this trap is set.” Fred looked at his handiwork proudly.

“Like, bad news, Fred. We’re out of twine.” Shaggy said sadly.

“What do you mean out of twine?” Fred asked. It didn’t make sense. Sure Shaggy couldn’t conjure something like an engine, but twine was barely any effort.

“I brought up everything in the Mystery Machine. There’s none left, man.” Shaggy shrugged.

“But can’t you just make more?”

“Oh. I, like, don’t do that anymore.” Shaggy hunched his shoulders a bit.

“What do you mean you don’t do that anymore? That’s your quirk. It’s- wait.” He thought none of them were talking about their powers. What if-? “Did you guys stop using your powers, because of me?”

The silence that met him told him all he needed to know. “Okay, no. We are not doing this.”

“Fred, if our having quirks make you feel bad, then we don’t need them. You’re way more important to us than that.” Daphne insisted.

“Look. Yes, I’m upset that I don’t have a power. I’ll even go so far as to say I’m jealous that you guys do. But at no point did I want you guys to feel like you had to give up your powers. I mean, there’s plenty else to be jealous of. Velma, you’re so brilliant, sometimes I feel like I can barely add two and two together. It’s hard not to feel plain when Daphne lights up a room with her amazing personality and ability to coordinate an outfit to look as amazing on the outside as she is on the inside. And it would definitely be nice to be able to eat twice my body weight and never worry about gaining a pound like Shag and Scooby do.”

“But I would never want Velma to dumb herself down, Daphne to make herself dull, or Shaggy and Scooby to not eat as much. Because those are quirks of being you, and your powers are a part of that now. You’re all so amazing, and now you’re even more amazing, and I don’t want to take any of that away from you. I know my insecurities are all in my head, but if you guys have to give up parts of yourself for me? Then I really am weighing you down and I refuse to let that happen. Ever.”

Before he knew what was happening, Fred found himself in the middle of a group hug.

“Oh hey, What do you know? Looks like we had more twine after all.” Shaggy slipped the couple of feet of twine he had conjured into Fred’s hand.

“Great.” Fred grinned. “Let’s go catch us a banshee.”

~

“They’re approaching fast. Shaggy and Scooby are about ten yards away. The Banshee is a yard behind them.” Daphne had her eyes shut as she concentrated on the image her radar was sending her.

“Let us know when they’re clear.” Fred held one rope and Velma the other. With Daphne’s quirk, it was easy to avoid accidentally capturing the boys in their traps.

“Now!”

As Shaggy and Scooby sailed past, Fred and Velma pulled and the Banshee was launched off the floor and into a net, which twisted around before being deposited in a hay baler, leaving the banshee trapped and unable to move.

“Call it in, guys. We got her.”

Soon enough the police arrived, along with a token force from the Hero’s Union.

“As you can see, we’ve caught the so-called Banshee terrorizing the area. Or should I say, Lanie Mayfair.” Velma pulled the mask off the so-called banshee. “She claimed she’d never gone near Baker’s Shack for fear of the banshee, but the soil on her shoes was the exact composition of the mud outside the shack. The feeling of dread and fear people reported were actually a low level psychic quirk that inspired those feelings.” That’s why they had to call in the Hero’s Union. Any crime with quirks used had to go through them. “The Banshee’s wail was prerecorded, and played over a series of speakers, including one hidden in the Banshee’s choker.” 

“But we checked the records when the reports first came in. No one currently in the area has a quirk like that.” One of the Hero’s Union reps pointed out.

“Because she kept it a secret. I bet if you looked up Lanie’s records her power would be listed as ‘None’. Lanie’s an experienced conwoman. She knew how useful her quirk would be and pretended not to have one during registration. A quirk like that would be easy to overlook since it wouldn’t produce a visible or physical effect.”

“Very good Velma. But you’re wrong on one count.” Lanie grinned nastily. “It’s not a minor psychic quirk.” That was all the warning they got before a wave of pure despair shot out of her.

Fred felt his knees buckling under him. All those insecurities Frank had brought up, his lower self worth, jealousy, and guilt over being jealous, flooded to the surface once more. But he shoved it down. He had laid those demons to rest. He looked up and noticed everyone else wasn’t faring so well, not even the police or heroes. Most looked full of despair, with some weeping openly. Fred thought Shaggy was doing a little better, only to realize that while he didn’t look miserable, he didn’t look anything, as if there was no life in him.

 “See how pathetic you are?” Lanie asked haughtily. “How completely wretched and worthless your life is?”

“Don’t you dare say that about any of them!” Fred snarled, rising to his feet. “My friends are the most amazing people on the planet! They’ve - we’ve put away dozens of low end criminals like you away. I mean, look at you. We’ve got you trapped and your quirk certainly isn’t going to help you escape. Seems we’re doing better than you.”Lanie’s jaw had dropped and the others were starting to rouse from whatever stupor they had been put into.

“We need to get to Fred.” Velma, who had been nearest to Lanie, forced herself up and pushed herself off the baler and towards him. On the way she grabbed Daphne and pulled her along. Shaggy had snapped out of his unresponsive state and he and Scooby were closing ranks too. Fred didn’t think he need the protection, she was still stuck in the bale, after all, but he appreciated having his friends by his side.

“You’re finished Lanie, and your two-bit quirk isn’t going to save you,” Daphne snapped, anger clear in her voice.

“Lanie...Mayfair.” One of the fallen heroes was back on his feet, though shaky. He headed towards the gang. “This is your only warning. Release your quirk.”

“No! How are you doing this?! All of you should be lost to despair! How can you even move!?”

The hero lifted his hand and there was a small zap before Lanie started twitching and the feeling of despair vanished completely. “Alchemist, we’re going to need to keep this one sedated.”

“Right.” The other hero touched Lanie gently. “That should keep her out for the next few hours.” She turned to Fred. “Thank you for your assistance. Without your help, this would have been a mess.”

“I just snapped out of it first.” Fred shrugged. “I was just lucky.”

“Fred, you didn’t just snap out of it first, you drove it back.” Velma corrected. “That’s why I wanted to get everyone near you, you were canceling out the effect.”

“How? I mean I don’t have powers, they ran a bunch of tests to make sure I didn’t have powers. How could I cancel out the effect?”

“We do need a better way to test for Psychic quirks,” Alchemist commented while the police officer worked on getting Lanie out of the bale. “If that’s two missed right here.”

“Two? But I-”

“Fred, you do have a power, it’s just the opposite of that witch’s.” Daphne explained. “I could feel it battling hers, driving away the darkness it was putting in my mind. The closer I got to you, the stronger I felt.”

“Like, no wonder we missed it.” Shaggy laughed. “Feeling better when you’re around just sounds like a side effect of being around you.”

“I...have a power?” Fred couldn’t keep the raw hope out of his voice.

“You do indeed.” Taser clapped his hand on his shoulder. “I think it’s obvious that, unlike Mayfair, you took the tests in good faith. But I think you need to get your registration straightened out as soon as possible.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, Sir!”

~

“I can’t believe this is real.” Fred stared down at the card in his hands. It was identical to the one he’d been carrying around for months, only instead of the word ‘None’ next to Power: it said ‘Morale Boost’.

It wasn’t a flashy or powerful quirk. Certainly not something a hero in a comic book would have. But it was his quirk. Something he had that could help his friends. And he wouldn’t trade it for any other power in the world.

[byjove-cannibalcove]

Hannibal AU for @pragnificent​

will is called in to find the person responsible for the murder of roughly 15 people over the course of a single weekend up in new jersey The killings were really brutal, and disproportionately targeted a home where a party had been taking place, as well as a single police officer who had arrived to check in on them preliminary assumption is that it was a large group of people, possibly an occult ritual slaying of some kind, especially because it happened on friday the thirteenth and the teenagers had been having a scary movie watching party for some reason so anyways they get up there and are looking at the carnage and trying to figure out how the hell most of these murders were even pulled off, since it includes things like 'cut a head from someones shoulders' and 'a 6'4" football player was thrown onto a spike' and shit like that naturally they look into it and find out that there has been large scale killings in this general area every ten years or so for 30 years or so that the first one was the only one where the killer was caught (a little old woman, motivations unknown) and that while there is usually at least 1 survivor of each attack the survivor is in all cases driven too insane by the events to accurately describe anything that had happened (though for what its worth they, for the most part, do not tell cohesive stories, so you cant listen to them anyways) so anyways will is out here trying to get a vibe, get a feel for the person that did this, trying to understand why he targeted these people hes fifuring out shit like 'yeah this cop was a serial abuser' and 'a lot of these teenagers show evidence of having been having a lot of sex and underage drinking and drug use beforehand, all of which appears consentual' that the kids with records of wrong doing and bad reputations were killed most violently, that those that seem like good kids were mostly killed quickly and pretty painlessly and wills preliminary feelings are 'this killer was... driven... but not calculated... almost childish.. ' this leads team science to be like 'okay so like a fellow teenager?' and then argue like 'only if they are a GIANT teenager, we are talkign 6'5" based on some of these swings" and wills like no no not a teenager, like, an actual child, think Home Alone, a child with no concept of torture but who just wants to make the bad people go away, who feels like hes defending his home which leads the group to be like 'okay potentially a giant disabled person, cant be too many of those secreted away in the area' wills going out to sit by the lake days later and thinking how beautiful it is, how peaceful, serene, like you could just float out into the water here and stare at the moon and never look away he finds a used condom in the reeds by the dick, curls his nose in disgust, imagining them fucking in the water, or on the dock, how vulgar it would be there are homes along this lake, not here exactly but visible in the distance at the far other end. this is a big long lake with many nice little divots like this one, so many people live along it and have never been hurt, many families, lots of vacation homes. the only families that were ever killed on this lake usually lived there for a decade, more, before it happened, kids that were raised in those homes only killed during a party when they were vulgar when they disrespected the lake disrespected nature ruined it with their noise and their wild parties, drug use just the sort of thing a little old lady in 1979 might find worthy of death, might be driven mad by it takes a while but eventually they will dig up the information of the little old lady having had a disabled  son, jason, who drowned in the lake a few years before Mrs vorhees went on her rampage, the information that he had drowned while attending a summer camp, while the teenagers on duty werent watching him hes long dead btu will latches onto it, that it fits perfectly, they tell him hes losing it will starts channeling mrs vorhees, wandering around the lake, whispering to her boy, cleaning up trash he finds on the lake shore mrs vorhees was by all accounts an incredibly kind woman, a bit of a radical even, very environmental, a bit of a hippie, kind to strangers, lover of children, cherished and adored her disabled son, wouldve loved this lake and the clean air, the beautiful nights would have wanted the lake to be clean, to stay quiet will spends all night cleaning the lake for no reason at all other than an odd compulsion to see at least one small section of it be as nice as it would have looked to Mrs vorhees eyes how she would have taught it to her son, to cherish that will is sort of losing his mind, snapping at everyone, he hates loud noise and drinking right now, doesnt like how careless it makes everyone, is avoiding drinking himself for now at least but the clarity hurts, he is staying up at night in dirty hotel rooms and wishing he was outside under the clear sky, he buys a tent and puts it up down by the lake, in the area he cleaned he knows he shouldnt, there is a killer on the loose in the area, but will knows he isnt what the killer is looking for in the night he sees a shadow go over his tent, thinks he hears the crunch of a boot in the leaves, he holds his breath, cant move he sees a knife cutting through the fabric and tenses but when he looks again the tent is fine he realizes hes sleep paralyzed and sits up suddenly in burst of motion, throws open the tent flap, stumbles into the clearing its empty the lake reflects the white face of the moon at him. their eyes meet and it is beautiful he returns to the hotel room with the sunrise and as he climbs the stairs the phone in his pocket rings, the door to his room is wide open, jack stands inside with the phone to his ear he sees the tent under wills bag he thinks will is losing it, it is insane to camp by the lake when there is a killer on the loose there will doesnt have an excuse jack tells him that they found the cemetary that jason was buried in (very difficult because records from the time are so fucking spotty and it was a tiny family cemetary for a family that no longer exists) and that he was clearly marked as a drowning victem, dead at age 10, so no, its not mrs vorhees son, and there are no relatives, so scrap that, they are back to square one jack orders will to go home and talk to hannibal because being here is not very helpful right now if hes gonna do crazy shit like camp next to the murder lake will talks to hannibal about it, with as much honesty as possible, and how certain he is that its jason hannibal convinces jack to exume jason. there is no living family to protest and it will settle will enough to get will back on track and stop focusing on it. jack agrees in a very irritated way they go to do it (jack team science will and hannibal as well, as support for will) and... yeah there is no casket in that spot. empty grave. a marker and nothing else. holy shit somethign something something eventually they manage to link shit up like 'okay maybe it was jason that killed the second camp full of counselors in training-- the person was described as a  teenager, small in stature with a bag to hide their face. the killer in the 3rd instance was a grown man who slaughtered a fuckton of people over the course of a FEW days, and then was killed by a small child who fucked his head up so much that there was nothign identifiable left, not even teeth, so no one ever knew their identity, it literally might have been jason, it totally could have been a huge disabled man living in the woods  and no one ever knew about it ((we are gonna pretend 'jason lives' didnt happen)) anyways its basically decided that 'yeah it literally might have been jason vorhees, growing up alone in the woods, who committed most of those murders... but hes dead now so this is a new killer' and its a very frustrating thing because jack is like 'cool we just answered some cold case files btu we still dont know wtd happened last weekend' and will is like NO I SWEAR IT STILL FEELS LIKE THE SAME GUY And is trying to claim that 'maybe the person that was killed by the kid was someone else'   'an accomplice?'    'no no this person-- jason-- he is entirely alone. only the memory of his mother. only her touch guiding his hands, only her words in his ears, he cant listen to anyone else, he cant... he cant collaborate' and hannibal sits with him out on the lake, lets will row out in a boat with him Will imagines Mrs Vorhees, feels the way she must have felt, looking out at this beautiful lake, the one that nearly her son from her, beautiful and calm and tranquil, while the teenagers behind her loudly partied, drank, didnt have a care in the world, and his teeth bare at the idea, and he hates them too, hates the way they would look at her son if they knew he was alive Hannibal, sitting across and watching him, tells will thatthe lake is beautiful ((of course hes looking at will rather than the water haha)) will tells him its deep and cold will looks deep into the water and sees the drowning boy. blinks to wash the image away. blinks again. again. "Hannibal??" hannibal asks what will sees will jumps in the water reaches for child jason snags the hand of an adult dragging him down its beautiful here one blue eyes looks into his, startlingly clear hannibals arms snag will around the middle and pull him back to the boat jason lets go without fuss ((he just wanted to touch wills hand, will who for a few moments had looked, to jason, like his mother)) back at shore will tells hannibal this, and he is shakign and shivering and frightened of the lake and of himself, because he must really be fucknig losing it asks for comfirmation that hannibal didnt see anyone in the lake hannibal does not give will that confirmation he asks if will is seeing ghosts will says its more like spirits "a lake spirit, then?" its such a silly thought but somehow will ends up out at the lake the next night, hannibal at his side. hannibal has dressed down, a warm cream sweater over his dress shirt for the late october chill, will in flannel, and they set up wills tent and clean the area around their campsite meticulously. hannibal warms food he brought from home over the fire and will fishes, cleans and guts his catch, the knife catching the white face of the moon as it flicks over the scales in the dark night will stands, jus tinside the circle of light by the fire, and channels mrs vorhees "Jason... jaaaasonnn" nothing he thinks hannibal will laugh at him, but he doesnt he concentrates more on the image in his mind, the kindly smile she wore in the photos he saw of her, the fierce protective instinct that lay behind those eyes, the fact that jason is out here, alone, confused, scared, and he feels protective of him too "Jason.. come here" a tiny intake of breathe behind him, and wills blinks his eyes open and Jason stands before him. not a child. a man. Tall. huge. a giant he is wet, the only sound he makes the slow dripping of lake water from his clothes onto the ground below. his clothes are ragged and encrusted with leaves and dirt. his face is covered by a battered hockey mask. the skin beneath it is grey the image is a terrifying one, the stuff of nightmares but he isnt a monster he is wills son will holds out his arms "Jason, come here" jason is still for a time, tilting his head only slightly as he tries to work out what will is, who he is but he comes slowly he is so much larger that will, but he kneels, down on one knee, looking up at will one blue eye shining, searching wills face for something will wraps his arms around him "My special boy" jason shudders and melts into the hug, mask pressed to wills stomach the machete drops to the ground, huge hands press to wills back, so gently, like will is made of glass, something too precious to jason to risk hurting will tells him that he knows he was scared, was confused, was lost and alone for so so long that he thought he had to be that way but he doesnt that he can come home with will he doesnt have to stay here anymore, he doesnt have to wait Jason makes a sound, the first sound he has made so far, a small, a tiny little sob, and his shoulder loosen, like a great weight has left his shoulders he seems to shrink in wills arms, and for a moment will is holding a child and then his arms are empty but not cold there is a warmth in him, something between his lungs, love, peace, hope, life in a way he has never before experienced it will wants to cry but it feels more like happy tears he holds them at bay, sniffles once, wipes his eyes with sleeves filthy with lake water arms wrap around him from behind, and it is hannibal again, pulling at him, and will turns, melts into hannibals hug, lets himself cry they dont stay the night at the lake, they pack up their campsite, put out the flames, walk through the darkness to the car, will being led behind hannibal by the hand like a child, too shaky and full to do it himself later, in therapy, they talk about it, briefly, and agree that jason is somewhere better now, that the killings will stop, that they dont need to tell jack about this, that jason was a special boy, a good boy who loved his mother very much, that maybe they are together now, somewhere and when will looks out at the moon from his porch that night, he feels a presence just behind him, a warm, protective presence, who is looking up at the moon with him, and he knows its true

[patriotsnet]

Are There Any Republicans In The Congressional Black Caucus

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/are-there-any-republicans-in-the-congressional-black-caucus/

Are There Any Republicans In The Congressional Black Caucus

Gop Rep Byron Donalds Spokesman Says All Weve Obtained Is The Chilly Shoulder

GOP lawmaker has message for Congressional Black Caucus shutting him out

The Hill reported on Wednesday that in keeping with a spokesperson for the congressman, Rep. Byron Donalds and his employees have reached out to members of the CBC a number of instances however mentioned all weve received is the chilly shoulder.

Fields has claimed that Donalds has spoken to a number of members of the caucus as effectively, to no avail.

BuzzFeed Information reported supply says that the caucus was blocking Donalds membership.

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Donalds workplace believes hes being blocked on account of being a Republican.;;

Donalds spokesman Harrison Fields mentioned, The unhappy actuality is though the Congressman and people within the CBC share the identical race, the behind his title disqualifies him from membership as we speak.

A CBC spokesperson wouldnt deal with the Rep. Donalds concern particularly, however advised The Hill in an announcement that the group stays dedicated to preventing for points that assist Black communities, together with the police accountability invoice, defending voting rights, and a jobs invoice that helps our communities.

NEW: The Congressional Black Caucus is obstructing Rep. Byron Donalds, a Black Republican from Florida, from becoming a member of the caucus.

Hypocrisy Is The Message

I think hypocrisy is the message, Rep. Neal Dunn; told The Epoch Times. If they would just say this is the Congressional Democrat Black Caucus, I could understand that. Theyre pretending to be inclusive when they clearly are not.

Virtually everybody in America would be disappointed and anyone who honestly looks at this would have to say you are not what you say you are. Youre the Democrat Black Caucus, Dunn reiterated. I think the American people are generally fed up with hypocrisy and, if they identify this as hypocrisy, which I think would be fair, they can expect to have some blowback on this.

Theres no mystery that Washington is embroiled in a bitterly partisan divide, Dunn noted. They dont really want additional ideas. They just want their homogenous ideas.

Still, while Donalds admitted he doesnt see the political disconnect ending any time soon, he insisted the gridlock doesnt bother him.

I think people sometimes forget, our process here is supposed to be hard, Donalds explained. Things arent just supposed to be flying out of the nations capital. Its supposed to be deliberative. Its supposed to be hard. Its supposed to take a long time to pass something out of here because what we pass affects the American people. So, if this place is running like a greased machine and members are just passing everything that happens, people in their everyday lives will have to try to catch up with what were doing.

House Judiciary Committee Votes To Establish Reparations Commission

A black GOP lawmaker in the House of Representatives says the Congressional Black Caucus has declined his efforts to become a member.

In a statement to The Post on Thursday, Rep. Byron Donalds expressed his disappointment about being excluded from the CBC, which inducted other freshman lawmakers into the group six months ago.

The Congressional Black Caucus has a stated commitment to ensuring Black Americans have the opportunity to achieve the American Dream, the 42-year-old lawmaker, who represents the Naples area, began.

As a newly elected Black Member of Congress, my political party should not exempt me from a seat at the table dedicated to achieving this goal. As a young Black man who grew up in the inner city of Brooklyn in a single-parent household, my achieving of the American Dream would be a valued addition to the CBC and one that should transcend politics.

A CBC spokesperson declined to answer The Post when asked about the claim that Donalds was rebuffed by the caucus, instead saying in a statement that the group remains committed to fighting for issues that support the Black community, including the police accountability bill, protecting voting rights and a jobs bill that helps our communities.

News of the CBCs snub of Donalds was first reported Wednesday by Buzzfeed News, which cited a source familiar with the CBCs plans.

While there have been black GOP lawmakers in the caucus before, the group currently has no Republicans.

Also Check: Did Trump Say Republicans Are Stupid

Congressional Black Caucus Blocking Black House Republican From Joining Group

A Black House Republican member is allegedly being blocked from joining the Congressional Black Caucus as one of only two Black Republicans in the House.

Rep. Byron Donalds and his staff have reached out to members of the CBC multiple times, but;Donalds’s;spokesman Harrison Fields said in a statement to The Hill that all we’ve got is the cold shoulder.

A source;told BuzzFeed News;that the caucus was blocking Donalds’s membership.

Donalds’s office said he believes he is being turned away from the group due to his political party.;

The sad reality is although the Congressman and those in the CBC share the same race, the behind his name disqualifies him from membership today, Fields said.;

A spokesperson for the CBC did not respond directly to the allegation that the caucus is blocking Donalds from joining but told The Hill in a statement that the group remains committed to fighting for issues that support Black communities, including the police accountability bill, protecting voting rights, and a jobs bill that helps our communities.

We will work with those who share our values and priorities for the constituents we serve, the spokesperson added.;

Donaldss office pointed to his bipartisan efforts in Congress and willingness to engage with the caucus. Fields said Donalds had joined the Black caucus in Florida when he served in the state House and that his “intention as a U.S. Congressman is the same.”

We Need More People Like Byron

Sen. Marco Rubio , who to condemn Democrat identity politics as the new Marxism, spoke highly of Donalds.

We need more people like Byron Donalds in Congress because he is interested in solving problems, Rubio told The Epoch Times. It isnt about clubs or popularity contests. It is about getting things done.

The Democrats are in complete control so if theres no conversations about public policies and what the Republican ideas are, that comes from the majority party because they choose not to have these conversations, Donalds explained. So, if thats what they chose to do, Republicans have no control over that because we dont chair any committees, we dont have the speakers office, and they also control the Senate and White House.

As much as the left tries to deride President Trump at every turn, President Trump actually engaged Democrat leadership on a lot of issues, Donalds added. Now there is no dialogue at all.

Don’t Miss: Did Trump Say Republicans Are Stupid

Congressional Black Caucus Absurdly Blames Republicans For Dallas Cop

The Congressional Black Caucus continues to show how useless it is by actually rushing out and blaming Republicans for the Dallas scumbag who was literally inspired by ;black pride groups to kill police. Amazing.

Watch below:

Democrat Rep. G.K. Butterfield blamed Republicans for the five officers who were massacred by a racially motivated gunman in Dallas Thursday night.

The Republicans in Congress are refusing to address gun violence in America that targets black men and black women and Hispanic men and Hispanic women and, yes, even police officers, Butterfield said while flanked by other members of the Congressional Black Caucus just hours after five officers were shot and killed while trying to protect protestors who were rallying against police brutality.

The suspect said he wanted to kill white people, Brown said. Especially white officers.

Despite the suspected gunmans racial motivations, which he made clear in his own words to authorities during the standoff, Butterfield insisted Republican members of Congress were responsible for the tragedy.

Butterfield also suggested more tragedies will occur in the immediate future if Republicans dont pass more gun control legislation.

If we fail to act, this will be a long, hot summer, he said.

How Many Members Are In The Black Caucus

For the 117th Congress, the CBC has a historic 56 members of the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate, representing more than 82 million Americans, 25.3 percent of the total U.S. population, and more than 17 million African-Americans, 41 percent of the total U.S. African-American population.

Read Also: Why Do Republicans Hate Planned Parenthood

Cbc: We Will Work With These Who Share Our Values

The CBC spokesperson added, We are going to work with those that share our values and priorities for the constituents we serve.

The Hill famous, Donalds workplace pointed to his bipartisan efforts in Congress and willingness to have interaction with the caucus. Fields mentioned Donalds had joined the Black Caucus in Florida when he served within the state Home and that his intention as a U.S. Congressman is identical.

The CBC at present has no GOP members however black Republicans have been a part of the group previously.;

The opposite black Republican within the Home, Rep. Burgess Owens of Utah, doesnt wish to be a part of the caucus.

Nows the time to assist and share the sources you belief.The Political Insider ranks #16 on Feedspots High 70 Conservative Political Blogs, Web sites & Influencers in 2021.

Gop Freshmen Of Color Eyeing Dem

Congressional Black Caucus shuts out GOP freshman

Its a tricky issue, with Republican lawmakers of color forced to navigate mostly untrodden territory in a historically white party.

02/13/2021 07:00 AM EST

Link Copied

Freshman Rep. Byron Donalds wants to pull off something Washington has never seen: Membership in both the liberal Congressional Black Caucus and the ultra-conservative House Freedom Caucus.

Donalds a Black Tea Party Republican who represents Naples, Fla. said both groups are a natural fit for someone like himself, who believes conservative policies best improve the lives of the Black community. And he isnt afraid to defy norms in a Congress where being a lawmaker of color has historically meant belonging to the Democratic Party.

Obviously, the dominant voice in the CBC tends to be Democrat or liberal voices, and I want to bring change to that, Donalds said, noting that hes used to people gauging his political identity on his race. Shortly after arriving in Congress, Donalds recalled, a reporter asked if hed be supporting Nancy Pelosi for speaker, assuming he was a Democrat.

Yes, Im a conservative Republican, but I think in the Black community, we have a wide range of political thought, he added. It doesn’t always get talked about, but it exists.

Then theres the Congressional Hispanic Caucus, which only allows Democratic members after a complicated and at times, contentious record with GOP membership, often stemming from fierce disputes over immigration policy.

Recommended Reading: Why Are Republicans Wearing Blue Ties

Ferguson Grand Jury Decision

See also: Shooting in Ferguson, Missouri

After the grand jury released the decision to not indict the officer who shot Michael Brown in a highly publicized shooting in Ferguson, Missouri, the CBC released a statement the same evening. “This decision seems to underscore an unwritten rule that Black lives hold no value; that you may kill Black men in this country without consequences or repercussions,” chair wrote.

The decision came during a time of civil unrest in the city due to the shooting.

Report: Congressional Black Caucus Blocks Black House Republican From Joining

‘The sad reality is, although the congressman and those in the CBC share the same race, the R behind his name disqualifies him from membership…’

The Congressional Black Caucus is reportedly blocking a black House Republican from joining the group, according toBuzzfeed News.

Rep. , R-Fla., and his staff have reached out to members of the CBC several times, but all weve got is the cold shoulder, according to Donaldss spokesman, Harrison Fields.;

Congressman Donalds has expressed interest in joining the CBC, but has yet to receive an official invitation, another Donalds aide said. If given, hed gladly accept.;

Donalds office said he believes he is being turned away from the CBC because he is a Republican.

…article continued below

The sad reality is, although the congressman and those in the CBC share the same race, the R behind his name disqualifies him from membership today, Fields said.

One source confirmed that the CBC is intentionally blocking his membership.

The source said the group remains committed to fighting for issues that support black communities, including the police accountability bill, protecting voting rights and a jobs bill that helps our communities when asked directly whether the accusations of discrimination were true.

We will work with those who share our values and priorities for the constituents we serve, the CBC added.

…article continued below

However, he made it clear he would not compromise his values.

Also Check: Did Trump Call Republicans Stupid In 1998

Cold Shoulder: Congressional Black Caucus Rejects Black Republican

The Congressional Black Caucus is reportedly refusing to permit a Black Republican to join the group.

BuzzFeed News reported that Rep. Byron Donalds, Florida Republican, has made several overtures about joining, but been stonewalled.

Citing a source familiar with the CBCs plans, BuzzFeed reported that the Caucus has rejected those overtures.

Congressman Donalds has expressed interest in joining the CBC, but has yet to receive an official invitation, a Donalds aide told BuzzFeed. If given, hed gladly accept.

In a separate statement to The Hill, Donalds spokesman Harrison Fields said all weve got is the cold shoulder.

A CBC spokesperson did not directly answer questions from The Hill about whether Mr. Donalds would be let in or why not.Instead, the spokesperson issued a statement touting the CBC leadership on a number of issues.

We will work with those who share our values and priorities for the constituents we serve, the spokesperson added.

BuzzFeed noted that some Democrats have publicly said they would refuse to work with any Republicans whom they see as complicit in the Jan. 6 U.S. Capitol attack, even on matters where there may be substantive agreement.

Mr. Donalds was one of the Republican lawmakers who voted not to certify president Biden as the winner of the 2020 presidential election, the event Congress was certifying when the rioters attacked.

The Congressional Black Caucus: Powerful Diverse And Newly Complicated

The group, which includes most Black members of Congress, remains publicly united. But in private, an influx of new members who think differently about its purpose are making a play for the future.

By Astead W. Herndon

The Congressional Black Caucus is the largest it has ever been, jumping to 57 members this year after a period of steady growth. The 50-year-old group, which includes most Black members of Congress and is entirely Democratic, is also more diverse, reflecting growing pockets of the Black electorate: millennials, progressives, suburban voters, those less tightly moored to the Democratic Party.

But while a thread of social justice connects one generation to the next, the influx of new members from varying backgrounds is testing the groups long-held traditions in ways that could alter the future of Black political power in Washington.

The newcomers, shaped by the Black Lives Matter movement rather than the civil rights era, urge Democrats to go on the offensive regarding race and policing, pushing an affirmative message about how to overhaul public safety. They seek a bolder strategy on voting rights and greater investment in the recruitment and support of Black candidates.

Perhaps more significant than any ideological or age divide, however, is the caucuss fault line of political origin stories between those who made the Democratic establishment work for them and those who had to overcome the establishment to win.

When asked, Mr. Meeks saw no conflict.

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The Congressional Black Caucus Is Blocking A Black Republican From Joining The Group

The Congressional Black Caucus is blocking membership to Rep. Byron Donalds, a Republican from Florida who has tried to join the organization, a source familiar with the CBCs plans told BuzzFeed News.

Its been six months since the members who won election in 2020 were inducted into the CBC, a powerful and nominally nonpartisan group of Black lawmakers in Congress. Donalds, who won election for the first time last year, has not been included in that group.

The Florida representatives office said Donalds has talked to at least three members of the CBC about joining the group, whose members are now at the forefront of police reform talks and responsible for highlighting the racial inequities around COVID-19. Hes not received an answer and the likelihood of that happening a quarter way into the 117th Congress looks bleak.

Congressman Donalds has expressed interest in joining the CBC, but has yet to receive an official invitation, said a Donalds aide. If given, hed gladly accept. The CBC did not respond to questions about the status of Donalds membership, or why he was not being let in.

The snub highlights the divide between Democrats and their Republican counterparts since Jan. 6, when a pro-Trump mob stormed the Capitol during the certification of Joe Bidens presidency.

Per Congressional Hispanic Caucus bylaws, all Democratic Members of Congress of Hispanic descent are eligible for CHC membership, according to a CHC spokesperson.

Cbc: Black Republicans Welcome

The Congressional Black Caucus says it will gladly accept the two newly elected;black Republicans into its group, opening the door to partisan diversity in a caucus that has been historically Democratic.

“Membership in the Congressional Black Caucus has never been restricted to Democrats,” CBC Chairwoman Barbara Lee said in a statement to POLITICO. “Should either of the two African-American Republicans recently elected to the House of Representatives request membership in the Congressional Black Caucus, they will be welcomed.”

Lee’s statement noted that, “during the 40-year history of the Congressional Black Caucus, there have been three African-American Republican members of the House of Representatives. Two congressmen, Melvin Evans of the Virgin Islands and Gary Franks of Connecticut, decided to join the Congressional Black Caucus, however, Congressman J.C. Watts of Oklahoma did not.”

Last week, POLITICO reported that freshman-elect Allen West, who defeated Ron Klein in Florida’s 22nd District, was interested in joining the caucus. “That has been a monolithic voice in the body politic for far too long. There is a growing conservative black voice in this country,” West said.

Read Also: Republicans Leaving Congress

[wedontcareaboutyourbinary]

weird question, but do you think people who used to be trans (and dont id as trans anymore ofc) have cis privilege? i know someone who used to id as nonbinary, then as a trans guy, but now considers herself 100% female but doesnt call herself cis and argues she doesnt have cis privilege. sorry, ik this isnt really too relevant to this blog but you’re like the only trans/nb blog i really trust lol

It becomes really easy to think privilege is this single monolithic trait or experience when we are dealing only in clearly delineated binaries — and I don’t even just mean the gender binary. The reality is that it operates complexly, and although it can appear monolithic for most people, there are gray areas. In the gray areas, we can see that inconsistency and complexity the most clearly. NBs live our whole lives in those gray areas lol. So we certainly ought to understand more than anyone why privilege can’t be blanketly prescribed in a black and white way. So my opinion here is that 1. I don’t have near enough context, and would want your friends input before I made an assessment. 2. Your friend having some cis privileges doesn’t mean she doesn’t still have an atypically complex relationship to gender that isn’t necessarily free of trans-related strife. I don’t know that she does, but I don’t know that she doesn’t. The info here is limited.Whether or not your friend underwent any social, physical or legal transition is *one* big factor in whether or not they not feel they’re experiencing what cis people get to experience. If your friend confidently, comfortably and totally identifies as the gender assigned to them at birth, then without any further context I’m inclined to say that they definitely are cis and don’t get to choose not to consider themselves cis. But like I said... I’d want to hear more of their side before I was super definitive about that. And their being cis, after having these experiences, does not necessarily equate to them having 100% of that privilege. But above all that, here’s my final thought: People contorting their experiences to cling to a label that is utterly disingenuous, in order to deny their privilege, is a 100% real thing that happens. It could be what’s happening here!Is it SO common and SO destructive that it’s important for us to be like detectives and sniff out the liars from the truly oppressed?? Nah. That’s some REG shit. If your friend is being disingenuous and ignoring their privilege, that SUCKS, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry you have to deal with that. But I would go into a conversation with them about it with questions in mind like “what is this person experiencing? why do they feel this way? Why do they want to use these words/not want to use these words? how is their experience similar to and dissimilar from mine? does it really and seriously hurt other people if they make this claim? Are they accurately comparing their experiences with typical trans and typical cis experiences?” And finally, most importantly, I’d ask yourself “is it important that I make them understand that they’re being disingenuous, if they are? Or can I let this person be, and just let them have the belief that they have?” By contrast, I would not go in with a mindset of “this person is a deluded liar, I know their experience and identity better than them, I am going to convince them they are wrong.” Maybe they’re a cis fool. But committing ourselves to sniffing out cis fools and correcting them will make us the kind of people who police NBs and trans people out of their own communities. Let’s be chill, understanding of nuance, and open to the journeys people are on. — Mod Lune

[woodsens]

The Most Influential People in the fire inside music Industry and Their Celebrity Dopplegangers

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote greater than a decade ago, the woman who came to get recognised only as being the piano Instructor provided what, in hindsight, seems like an eerie glimpse of her have long term.

Im going absent today to an area so distant, the place nobody understands my identify, she wrote while in the lyrics of a track identified as Relocating.

When she wrote that song, she was younger and vivacious, a piano Trainer and freelance audio writer who liked Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Appears, extended walks and almost everything about Big apple.

On one of those beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the bright Sunshine of the June day in 1996, a homeless drifter conquer her and attempted to rape her, leaving her clinging to everyday living. Following the attack, the phrases to her track came real. She moved away, out of Ny city, from her previous life, and all but her closest close friends didn't know her name. To the remainder of the planet, she was — similar to the additional well known jogger attacked in Central Park seven many years previously — an anonymous symbol of the city nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.

Now, about the 10th anniversary on the assault, she's celebrating what appears to be her complete recovery from Mind trauma. She's forty two, married, with a small boy or girl. She's Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano teacher, and she or he wants to convey to her Tale, her way.

Her doctor told her it could just take ten years to recover, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I sense my everyday living continues to be redefined by Central Park, she said a number of times in the past, her voice smooth and hopeful. In advance of park; immediately after park. Will there ever certainly be a time Once i dont Feel, Oh, Here is the 10th anniversary, the 11th anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch house in the wooded subdivision in a The big apple suburb. She sat in a very eating room strewn with toys, surrounded by pictures of her cherubic, dim-haired 2-calendar year-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand stuffed 50 percent the place, and at one place she sat down and performed. Her actively playing was forceful, but she appeared humiliated to Engage in more than a few bars, and shrugged, rather then answering, when requested the name of your piece. She questioned that her daughter and her town not be named.

She phone calls that working day, June four, 1996, the working day when I was damage.

Hers was the main within a string of attacks by the same guy on four Gals above eight times. The final target, Evelyn Alvarez, sixty five, was crushed to Dying as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleansing shop, and in the end, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to existence in prison.

Nevertheless the attack around the piano teacher would be the just one individuals appear to recollect one of the most. Part of the fascination has got to do with echoes in the 1989 attack to the Central Park jogger. But Furthermore, it frightened folks in a method the attack to the jogger did not because its instances were so mundane.

It did not occur inside of a remote A part of the park late in the evening, but near a preferred playground at 3 during the afternoon. It could have took place to anybody. The tension was heightened with the secret of the piano lecturers identity.

For 3 times, as law enforcement and Medical practitioners tried using to see who she was, she lay inside a coma in her medical center mattress, nameless. Her dad and mom were being on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Lastly, one of her learners regarded a law enforcement sketch and was ready to identify her from the clinic by her fingers, due to the fact her experience was swollen over and above recognition. The law enforcement did not release her name.

The last thing she remembers about June four, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Avenue, then putting her prolonged hair within a ponytail and likely out for just a stroll. She would not remember the attack, Despite the fact that she has read the accounts of the police and prosecutors.

To me its just like a reality I discovered and memorized, she claimed. Just as if I were a pupil in school learning history.

She will not think of The person who did it. I may have been offended to get a second, but not a lot longer than that, she said. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I suppose by our specifications he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her health care provider at Big apple Medical center-Cornell Medical Heart, as it absolutely was recognised in 1996, instructed reporters that she had a 10 per cent possibility of survival. Doctors experienced to eliminate her forehead bone, which was later on replaced, to generate home for her swelling Mind. When her mother produced a public attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Immediately after eight days, she arrived out of a coma, to start with inside a vegetative point out, then in a very childlike point out. As she recovered, she slept little and talked consistently, occasionally in gibberish. I used to be obtaining mad at people whenever they didnt respond to these terms, she said.

Like an Alzheimers individual, she had very little quick-phrase memory and would fail to remember readers as soon as they remaining the space.

About various months, she needed to relearn ways to wander, costume, go through and produce. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, visited every single day to Perform guitar for her. He inspired her to Perform the piano, from the recommendation of her physical therapists, who believed she could well be disappointed by her lack of ability to Engage in the way she after experienced. Mr. Scherr performed Beatles duets together with her, taking part in the left-hand portion although she performed the right.

Which was my ideal therapy, she said.

In August, she moved back household to New Jersey, with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited outdated haunts and identified as friends, seeking to revive her shattered memory. I was pretty obsessed with remembering, she claimed. Any memory loss was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists assumed her development was great, but her two sisters protested that she wasn't the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she had misplaced the chance to cry, as though a faucet within her brain had been turned off. Just one evening, nine months immediately after she was damage, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Film A Time for you to Get rid of. Just following her father had long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on demo for killing two Adult males who experienced raped his youthful daughter.

The faucet opened, and also the tears trickled down her cheeks. I considered my mother and father, my father, and what they went as a result of, she explained. Small by very little, my experience returned, my depth of mind returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to highschool and acquired a masters diploma in music education and learning.

Not every thing went nicely. She and Mr. Scherr break up up five years after the assault, although they continue to be pals. She dated other Adult men, but she usually instructed them with regard to the assault instantly — she could not enable it, she explained — and so they never identified as for the next day.

We've got to uncover you someone, her Pal David Phelps, a guitar participant, reported 4 a long time back, before introducing her to Liam McCann, a pc technician and novice drummer. For when, she did not say anything at all with regards to the attack right up until she obtained to understand Mr. McCann, after which when she did, he admired her energy.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who experienced normally visited her at her bedside while she was within the healthcare facility, married them in his Moments Square Business. She wore a blue costume and pearls. Even though she was Expecting, inside of a burst of creativeness, she and her pals recorded Though Were being Younger, an album of childrens music that she experienced penned ahead of the assault, including the song Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, produced the CD. On it, her spouse plays drums and she performs electrical piano.

Is her lifestyle as it absolutely was? Not exactly, although she's unwilling to attribute the discrepancies to her accidents. Her very last two piano pupils left her, without contacting to clarify why, she mentioned. She has resumed playing classical songs, but simple parts, simply because her daughter doesn't give her time for you to follow. As for jazz, I dont even try, she reported.

She want to drive additional, emotion stranded in the suburbs, but she is well rattled. She attempts to be written content with staying household and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a scientific professor of neurological surgical procedure at what's now called Big apple-Presbyterian Medical center/Weill Cornell Healthcare Middle, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann following the assault, reported final 7 days that her level of Restoration was rare. Shes mainly typical, he explained.

Other specialists, who will be not personally familiar with Ms. Kevorkian McCanns situation, tend to be more careful.

Regaining a chance to Participate in the piano may possibly require an Virtually mechanical process, a semiautomatic remember of just what the fingers must do, claimed Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of clinical rehabilitation medicine at The big apple College School of Medicine. As soon as brain-injured, you are often Mind-wounded, for the rest of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay mentioned. There isn't any overcome, You can find only intense compensation.

The greater telling Portion of a recovery, in his watch, is psychological, and on that score he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns relationship and little one as a significant victory.

For her aspect, the piano Instructor appreciates she has transformed, but she has made her peace with it. I was form of a hyper —— I dont know if I used to be a sort A, but I was bold, she says. Why was I so formidable? I was a piano Instructor. I dont understand what the ambition was about. I really did come back to the individual Im designed to be.

[homestuckcanonconfirmer]

Miley Cyrus and best keyboard for learning piano

Correction Appended

On an album of bittersweet childrens music that she wrote a lot more than a decade back, the woman who came to generally be regarded only because the piano Instructor provided what, in hindsight, looks as if an eerie glimpse of her personal long run.

Im shifting absent now to an area so distant, where by no one is familiar with my identify, she wrote in the lyrics of a song identified as Shifting.

When she wrote that music, she was youthful and vivacious, a piano teacher and freelance music writer who cherished Beethoven and jazz, sunsets and river Appears, long walks and all the things about New York.

On one of those beloved walks, by way of Central Park in the intense sun of a June day in 1996, a homeless drifter conquer her and tried to rape her, leaving her clinging to existence. Following the attack, the words and phrases to her music came accurate. She moved away, outside of New York City, away from her old lifetime, and all but her closest friends did not know her identify. To the remainder of the earth, she was -- much like the more popular jogger attacked in Central Park 7 years earlier -- an nameless image of the city nightmare. She was the piano Instructor.

Now, within the tenth anniversary on the attack, she's celebrating what is apparently her complete Restoration from brain trauma. She's forty two, married, with a little kid. She is Kyle Kevorkian McCann, the piano Instructor, and he or she would like to inform her story, her way.

Her physician explained to her it would get a decade to Get well, and Sunday was that talismanic anniversary. I sense my daily life continues to be redefined by Central Park, she stated various times back, her voice gentle and hopeful. In advance of park; right after park. Will there ever be a time After i dont Imagine, Oh, This is actually the 10th anniversary, the eleventh anniversary?

She spoke in her modest ranch household in a very wooded subdivision in a very New York suburb. She sat inside a dining area strewn with toys, surrounded by images of her cherubic, dark-haired 2-12 months-outdated daughter. A Steinway grand crammed fifty percent the area, and at just one position she sat down and played. Her playing was forceful, but she seemed ashamed to Perform various bars, and shrugged, rather than answering, when questioned the title of the piece. She asked that her daughter and her town not be named.

She phone calls that day, June four, 1996, the day After i was harm.

Hers was the primary in a string of assaults by the identical man on 4 Girls about eight days. The last victim, Evelyn Alvarez, 65, was overwhelmed to Loss of life as she opened her Park Avenue dry-cleaning store, and ultimately, the assailant, John J. Royster, was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

But the assault about the piano Instructor could be the a single individuals look to remember the most. Component of the fascination must do with echoes with the 1989 assault over the Central Park jogger. But Furthermore, it frightened people in a means the attack around the jogger did not mainly because its conditions were so mundane.

It did not happen in a distant Component of the park late in the evening, but around a preferred playground at 3 while in the afternoon. It could have transpired to any individual. The tension was heightened because of the thriller on the piano teachers identification.

For three days, as law enforcement and Medical doctors tried to understand who she was, she lay inside of a coma in her hospital bed, anonymous. Her moms and dads had been on getaway and her boyfriend, also a musician, was in Europe, on tour. Lastly, one among her students recognized a police sketch and was capable to discover her inside the medical center by her fingers, simply because her encounter was swollen beyond recognition. The law enforcement did not release her name.

The very last thing she remembers about June 4, 1996, is offering a lesson in her studio condominium on West 57th Street, then putting her prolonged hair inside a ponytail and going out for just a stroll. She would not recall the attack, Though she has listened to the accounts in the police and prosecutors.

To me its just like a fact I acquired and memorized, she explained. As though I were being a college student at school finding out history.

She isn't going to consider the man who did it. I might need been offended for a second, although not much longer than that, she stated. How could I be indignant at John Royster? He was declared not insane, but I assume by our benchmarks he was.

Dr. Jamshid Ghajar, her doctor at Ny Hospital-Cornell Health care Centre, as it was regarded in 1996, explained to reporters that she experienced a ten % prospect of survival. Doctors had to remove her forehead bone, which was afterwards replaced, to create area for her swelling Mind. When her mom designed a general public attract pray for my daughter, thousands did.

Soon after eight times, she came out of a coma, to start with within a vegetative state, then in a childlike condition. As she recovered, she slept minimal and talked frequently, in some cases in gibberish. I was receiving mad at individuals if they didnt reply to these words and phrases, she mentioned.

Like an Alzheimers affected individual, she had minimal quick-phrase memory and would forget about visitors when they left the room.

More than many months, she had to relearn the way to walk, dress, browse and publish. Her boyfriend, Tony Scherr, frequented every single day to play guitar for her. He inspired her to Participate in the piano, versus the advice of her Actual physical therapists, who considered she would be pissed off by her inability to Participate in the way in which she once had. Mr. Scherr played Beatles duets together with her, playing the still left-hand part whilst she performed the appropriate.

Which was my most effective therapy, she stated.

In August, she moved back property to New Jersey, with her father, an engineer, and mom, a schoolteacher. She visited previous haunts and known as good friends, trying to restore her shattered memory. I was very obsessed with remembering, she stated. Any memory reduction was to me a sign of abnormality or deficit.

Her therapists thought her development was terrific, but her two sisters protested that she was not the deep thinker she were.

What bothered her most was that she had lost the chance to cry, like a faucet inside her Mind had been turned off. A single night time, nine months immediately after she was damage, she stayed up late to observe the John Grisham Motion picture A Time for you to Destroy. Just after her father experienced long gone to mattress, she watched a courtroom scene of Samuel Jacksons character on trial for killing two Adult males who had raped his younger daughter.

The faucet opened, as well as tears trickled down her cheeks. I thought about my dad and mom, my father, and what they went as a result of, she reported. Minimal by very little, my feeling returned, my depth of intellect returned.

Urged by her sisters, she went back again to school and acquired a masters degree in new music education and learning.

Not every little thing went effectively. She and Mr. Scherr split up 5 years after the assault, even though they remain good friends. She dated other Adult males, but she usually told them in regards to the assault straight away -- she could not assist it, she said -- and they in no way termed to get a next date.

We have now to locate you a person, her friend David Phelps, a guitar participant, mentioned 4 many years ago, right before introducing her to Liam McCann, a computer technician and beginner drummer. For the moment, she did not say something regarding the assault right up until she acquired to know Mr. McCann, then when she did, he admired her toughness.

Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani, who had generally visited her at her bedside while she was from the clinic, married them in his Occasions Square Business. She wore a blue dress and pearls. Although she was Expecting, in a very burst of creative imagination, she and her friends recorded When Had been Young, an album of childrens tunes that she had written before the assault, including the music Relocating. Her ex-boyfriend, Mr. Scherr, generated the CD. On it, her partner performs drums and she or he plays electric powered piano.

Is her everyday living as it absolutely was? Not accurately, although she's hesitant to attribute the dissimilarities to her accidents. Her final two piano learners remaining her, without contacting to explain why, she reported. She has resumed actively playing classical songs, but straightforward pieces, since her daughter would not give her the perfect time to follow. As for jazz, I dont even test, she mentioned.

She want to push far more, emotion stranded from the suburbs, but she is definitely rattled. She tries to be material with remaining property and caring for her daughter.

Dr. Ghajar, a clinical professor of neurological operation at what on earth is now referred to as NewYork-Presbyterian Healthcare facility/Weill Cornell Healthcare Centre, who operated on Ms. Kevorkian McCann once the attack, mentioned very last week that her standard of Restoration was rare. Shes fundamentally regular, he explained.

Other industry experts, who will be not Individually familiar with Ms. Kevorkian McCanns situation, tend to be more cautious.

Regaining a chance to Perform the piano may well require an Virtually mechanical procedure, a semiautomatic remember of exactly what the fingers ought to do, reported Dr. Yehuda Ben-Yishay, a professor of scientific rehabilitation medication at New York College School of Medicine. Once brain-injured, you will be generally brain-wounded, For the remainder of your life, Dr. Ben-Yishay mentioned. There is not any treatment, There exists only intense payment.

The greater telling part of a Restoration, in his watch, is psychological, and on that rating he counts Ms. Kevorkian McCanns marriage and child as a big victory.

For her part, the piano teacher appreciates she has changed, but she has built her peace with it. I was form of a hyper ---- I dont know if I was a Type A, but I had been bold, she suggests. Why was I so bold? I was a piano Trainer. I dont determine what the ambition was about. I actually did come back to the individual Im purported to be.

Correction: June thirteen, 2006, Tuesday An post on Thursday about Kyle Kevorkian McCann, a piano teacher who was beaten and sexually assaulted a decade back in Central Park, misstated the title of her album of childrens tunes. It truly is While Ended up Young, not When Were Young.

[bazaardailynews1-blog]

Different Year Same Story: BLACK MAN KILLED BY POLICE

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      “We have made incredible progress, this year we have seen the beauty of America’s soul.” –Trump 

(Pops gum) Great we would like to think that every person in America that watched or listened to the State of The Union Address felt that way. While it was great to touch on how law enforcement is cracking down on gangs, and government is going to be pro-active in their support of improving military to fight ISIS, 45 never mentioned the fight on corrupt law enforcement.

31 days into the New year there has already been 105 deaths by police. We not sure if that’s good or bad compared to 109 last year this time. Since November there has been 292 police involved killings.

The site (www.killedbypolice.net) reported that out of the 105 deaths cause by police half of those people were black men. (We didn’t even count the ones that looked like they were mixed but could easily identify as black males.) The list which complies death by year and month has a staggering amount of information concerning the deaths and how they were killed. Out of the 50 something BM, only five were killed either by restraint/physical force or vehicle. All by the gun. Let’s add after spending hours reading each story only one of the killings were ruled an accident.

I must say I put the cup down and had to pop a couple of anxiety pills to get thru this article. I felt so many emotions researching these families that had to endure the pain of loosing a loved one at the hands of someone who swore to protect and value us.

“Let’s side aside of differences for a common ground, to summon unity we need to deliver for the people we were elected to serve.” – Trumps 2018 State of Address

December 28th 2017 Corey Bailey, 30 years old was shot in Indiana by police in an attempted car jacking. (www.wsbt.com) he was the 82cd black male to die by police gunfire in December.

***NOELLA FE SAYS, NOR BAZAAR DAILY IN NO MEANS ARE AGAINST OR FOR LAW ENFORCEMENT. WE DO NOT CONDONE VIOLENCE AGAINST COPS HOWEVER WE DO NOT CODONE SENSELESS DEATHS AGAINST BLACK MEN.****

Devon Stevenson, 30 was struck by a police car as he turned in front of the officers vehicle. (wwwuspa.com)

Shaquille Roberts just 24 of Texas, died on December 19, shot by police. (www.dallasnews.com)

Derrick Staton, the youngest person on the list was killed just four days into the New Year, when a K9 unit struck his vehicle in Brandywine, Maryland. (www.killedbypolice.net)

The 57th person to die on January 17,2018 was Bryant Gregory was 33. When a routine traffic stop went wrong. Also on the 17th of January Donte Shannon, 26 of Wisconsin was fatally shot 30 times by police officers after a chase ensued during another routine traffic stop. Officers claim Shannon pulled out a gun; as investigation is ongoing no details have been released as to if Shannon fired at police officers. Both stories are available on (www.killedbypolice.net)

Looking at this list, it was pure craziness how some of these incidents were no different than what we call ,”senseless” act of violence. Fear set deep in the depth of my soul for every black man in America at that very moment. As a writer, a reader; I could feel the panic these men must have felt. The racing thoughts of, I am about to die. Take for an example Nathional Edwards, 43, of Illinois, stopped by police and ordered to get out of car; witnesses said, “He didn’t comply but he was not resisting.” The witness stated, “I heard one shot, I closed the door two more shots, pop!pop! When I opened the door the man was still sitting in the car.” Autopsy show he was shot several times in the back. He was the 96th person to die in 2018. (www.ourquadcities.com)

What makes a particular officer feel that they have to shoot to kill versus kill to disarm? No one can take away that police officers and law enforcement have hard jobs. Hard is a mediocre word. Even a down play to what these men and women go through but how can we respect the difference in cops when we are all treated the same. The next couple of victims were said to have been approaching officers. The problem?  To our eyes these stories read like the victims had mental conditions. But you can decide for yourself. What is not up for debate is that these men are dead.

Todd A. Stone 48 of Michigan made threats to shoot up his neighborhood. Neighbors say he was troublesome but when police arrived they opened fire on victim fearing for their life as he pulled out a hatchet.  Police said they were forced to shoot. Noella Fe says, Does that call for them to shoot to kill. It was clear he was very known to police and had a mental illness. (www.detroitnews.com)

Corey Moble, 38 was said to have had a dispute with someone at the gas station in Florida. Cops arrived to the scene, where Moble left. Cops followed Moble to an undisclosed addressed. There witnesses said, Moble went behind a house. Before coming out the victim yelled, he did not have a gun. Police state he yelled he did have a gun and opened fire when he appeared from behind the house. www.mysuncoast.com

Another very interesting find was that there were a lot of shootings involving off duty policeman. Do nurses carry I.V.’s home just in case someone falls out and needs one? Do teachers walk around with college applications just in case someone wants to apply to school? Do bankers take home the fucking money? Say what you want but there is no reason an off duty officer would use force to control a situation. I have seen plenty of videos where civilians have done a better job apprehending a suspect. So either those civilians need to be hired to serve or to train….

Also fatally killed by police in a mistaken identity, Dennis Plowland, just 25 years old was followed my an unmarked police car, thinking his vehicle was involved in an earlier homicide. Plowland was shot in the head as he sat on the curb with his hands in his pocket unarmed. (www.nbcphiladelphia.com) He was the 78th person to die in December 2017 by police fire.

Many people around the world knew who Thomas Yatso was on Jan.13,2018 when he was fatally shot outside of a bowling alley in Charlotte, NC. after being kicked out. At the age where most young adults are just becoming legal, Yatso took his last breath at 21. He was the 47th person killed by police this year.

Thomas Aiken, the 28th person to be shot by police was 43, killed in Arizona on Nov.10, 2017. Willie Floyd McLord, 42 from Washington, was number 1141, he was the 41st person in December to lose his life to policeman.m Officers said they had several run in’s with him before. They had no choice but to shoot when he opened fire as police approached his car. (www.seattletimes.com)

Paul Jones, 25. 34th person killed in November of 2017. (www.salisburypost.com)

99 Black men died in November 2017 amongst them Augustus Crawford,20 years of age; his number was 14.

The craziest most confusing death by police for the month of November is the story of Eddie Patterson, 49. As reported by the chicago sun times; What started as a routine traffic stop turned tragic, leaving suspect and officer dead. Details are still sketchy as to how the car crash happened in which the officer died, but the victim was shot several times.

I didn’t have the energy to look really deep into this case, as I literally read over 200 cases, I felt powerless, like what the hell am I doing , what could I be doing, shit is there anything I can do?…. I could write and inform you that this issue is much bigger than black and white, its more us and them. It’s no fairy tale that we all can turn on the t.v. and see how the little white boy shot those kids up or the older woman who was wielding a knife at cops, in both cases they were taken into custody without a scratch… I banged my head on the wall at the cruelty in which black people, especially black men are treated with.

The same as slavery bore and fed civil rights; this is the baby that the civil rights carried and bore. That baby is all grown up and is uncontrollable because no one ever corrected that baby; they pacified it and held it when it was wrong, and made laws to justify the wrong doing. This baby was hidden away while we cried for the survivors of the Holocaust and for countries we didn’t know exsisted. While atrocities were covered by american flags instead of being outed. No one ever slapped that baby’s bottom, or whipped its ass when it got to the age of smelling itself. Now a grown ass problem, it can’t be contained. Just like a dog that has turned on family members; it must be taken out and laid to rest.

“If there is a mountain we must climb it, if there is a oppurtunity we must take it.” – Donald Trump, 2018 State of Union Address.

We didn’t know how to take this one, but this shooting made the list because of the unique situation. Deputy Sheriff James Hawkins 35 years old was shot on Jan.15th 2018 by his wife, Deputy Sheriff Rataba Hawkins. He was the 51st person to die by police fire.

“We celebrate military & veterans as heroes who deserve our total unwavering support.” – President Trump 45th president of The United States of America

Noella Fe says, its Black History Month.

Until next time engage on our page, fb & twitter @bazaardaily

[strangetrip]

i saw this post on insta that was like you can be “black” without be “african american” and there was a lot going on in the comments mostly about how ppl of african decent are all black and african (i.e., black british ppl, african ppl can be black, black mexicans or w/e) and this is a very curious concept to me bc

1) it’s all very complex.

2) we’re all african like it doesn’t matter if you’re the whitest person out there we’re all out of africa you can fight me on this but you can’t fight science so let’s just get that out of the way.

SO now it’s about a) how you present b) your culture c) your experience (not in that order but w/e) (and this 100% comes in to play with american identity)

3) i always thought of black as an american thing in the sense that like....there are afro-british ppl who are the same as black americans but its different like if you tell me someone is black i know they’re an american and i know they’re history and as a person living in america with a connection to this history i understand the experience (like.....i couldn’t tell the first thing about being afro-british like idk at all and i don’t believe they know whats it’s like to be a black or african person in america)

3A) IMO black american and african american are very different. black americans have been here since slavery, they have the potential to be and/or present mixed, and they have a Shared Experience. african americans are like first generation or people who have come to america from africa in their lifetime and while they can be impacted by the same things that experience is very different (more on this later)

3Aa) there is a lot going on here too tho bc there are black americans who identify with their african roots and comfortably say they’re african american but i honest to god can not relate to that therefore i can’t talk about it

3B) also black americans have a very specific look imo and thats the shared history coming in to play like if you show me someone who has been here and someone who is first generation you can tell the difference and you’re lying if you say otherwise (you can see this all over, too. ppl of afro decent in the carib look different from americans and africans. indo ppl in the carib/south africa/etc look different from each other and from desi ppl. you can still see they’re related but they’re different).

and anyway there were also pretty respectful white ppl who were genuinely curious but there were also arguments about how ppl self identify what were hella condescending and flat out rude which were Wild to me like you don’t have a say in how a mixed person identifies or how dominicans or w/e identify if you are 1 race or not dominican or w/e

4) i agree that (in america) black =/= african (but it does mean that you have some distant history in africa) i consider myself black but not african american. i know that my experience isn’t that of an african american bc i am mixed and i present as such (i mean...in some cases [black] ppl refuse to acknowledge that i’m also indo Until which is so annoying and disrespectful bc i’m pretty obviously Other but also like you can’t pick and choose when it’s convenient but thats a different post) also bc growing up it was basically ‘if you aren’t white, you’re black’ which is changed a Whole Lot as we become a more global society but yeah i mean i’m black and i’m indo-trini they’re both very important to me. i grew up with my black family but as a girl who looked exactly like her non-black mother (i mean...my mother identifies as black and it’s as complex as it is problematic bc she very obviously is not of african decent and she isn’t brown skinned and it’s just truly not her Experience but again thats Another Story) so i really identify as a hybrid of the two (this also gets tricky bc there are ppl i know who are from the caribbean who i know are of indian decent but get classified as black/african american here bc they dont look like the stereotypical indian and somewhere a long the lines got a western surname. it also gets tricky bc most people in the caribbean connect with their island first and their race second and again this comes in to play as we become more global and cosmopolitan and its a Different Post)

4A) both black americans who have been here since slavery and newly arrived africans are identified as african americans and i have even less in common with the newly arrived african experience than i do with the been here experience and i don’t believe that i have a right to intrude on their feelings and safe spaces bc i experiences privileges they don’t (i mean in south carolina i’m still followed around the store by racist white ladies and and in massachusetts there are white ppl who won’t acknowledge my presence by pointedly doing something else and i’m a brown skinned girl w an american surname like come on but in the bigger picture these are isolated incidents [and actually if im being honest there have been more times that black ppl have accused me of being racist like these are not isolated it happens more often than you’d think; and the only truly verbally racist thing that’s happened to me happened bc they saw that i was indian and it was the Wildest thing to me but my point is there are LAYERS ppl, LAYERS and experience is such a huge player in this] and i’m very aware that my cousins who are 100% american have a completely different view and understanding of the world that i cannot relate to empathetically) (actually even newly arrived africans who did not grow up in america experience a very different america those who have been here or those who have grown up with those who have been here) (and actually i know african ppl who refuse to let their children befriend black american kids and look down on them which is DISGUSTING but this is Not the Post for That)

and like honestly its all a social construct like both of my grandfathers (biological [who was for all intents and purposes a white guy but had a native and black grandparent so] and step [black]), my dad (who is black), my cousin (who is indo trini and nigerian), and i all have different names for black on our birth certificates basically what ever white people thought was politically correct at the time so like it Doesn’t Matter but it does because how you present and identify impacts your entire life (and actually i do wish my birth certificate said mixed and i’m very curious to know what ppl born post 2000 are called when their parents are two different races)

but anyway i was just in awe by the amount of Bull Shit that was in the comment section like if you don’t know and you haven’t had that experience just shut up please thank you and goodnight like if you have something constructive to say than OK lets discuss it but like....how can you just say “listen you’re black, you’re black, and you’re black too stop hating black people” but in the same vein i PROMISE YOU THIS HAPPENS BC IT’S HAPPENED TO ME treat them like a 2nd class black citizen and police them and even call them racist when their experience doesn’t line up w/ yours like come on

it’s hard i get it but come on