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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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I would love for you to talk more indepth about the montage. To me it feels so off and weird. Almost like a parody? So many scenes in it are "funny" moments that just don't make sense in the context of an emotional overview of the road so far... (Like all the scenes where Dean is eating, Donna with donut dust on her face, Sam getting hit during the game show.) I don't know. Isn't the montage supposed to make me nostalgic, teary-eyed? This one definitely doesn't do it for me!

Here I am! Yes, I absolutely agree. The montage is Weird(TM). It’s kind of a tone rollercoaster. It’s very full of funny/silly moments, with some serious moments smacked in. And it definitely looks like... there’s something about it.

For an easier consultation I will reference the gifs I have made of the montage sequence here.

[Gif 1] It starts pretty much like I’d expect a Supernatural goodbye montage to start. The two brothers meeting for the first time in the pilot, a reminder of their childhood with John, their banter still from the pilot, a couple moments of them driving in the car in the first seasons, Dean saving Lucas in 1x03 which is the first Dean-heavy episode and also an extremely symbolic moment for Dean’s entire journey - just think at how Lucas as a mirror was still relevent during the “drowning” Michael possession arc. Everything feels normal so far. We’re starting from the beginning! Now--

[Gif 2] Interesting and weird choices start here. Them pretending to be high school teachers from After School Special 4x13 - actually a very iconic moment for the fandom, remember that post of Dean in shorts from that episode that you had to reblog when it came on your dash? (Actually I’m not sure if I ever reblogged it lol.) Dean celebrating getting young again from The Curious Case of Dean Winchester 5x07 (and Jensen showing off his agility). The two of them showing their FBI badges to Jesse Turner’s biological mother in 5x06. Dean mowing the lawn of Mary’s house in the Djinn dream and immediately after Jess and Sam kissing also in the Djinn dream, from What Is And What Should Never Be 2x20. Then Dean after killing the witch when he was under the memory loss spell, in Regarding Dean 12x11. Sam happy when they celebrate Christmas in A Very Supernatural Christmas 3x08. Them being “lucky” under the effect of the rabbit’s foot in Bad Day At Black Rock 3x03. Sam also happy in Baby 11x04.

Again the present, then the montage starts again with the water-related ghost from Red Sky At Morning 3x06, a Bela episode, and then Bela herself from her first episode, 3x03 again.

What do these moments have in common? Not all of them, but for many of them I’d say reality being manipulated. The Djinn dream, the rabbit foot, Dean’s aging, the Antichrist... and it’s not over yet. Also, them pretending to be teachers, agents etc - not “real”.

[Gif 3] The tone suddenly gets more serious and relevant to current events: Chuck in The Monster at the End of This Book 4x18 (eh). Death in Two Minutes to Midnight 5x21 (the first appearance of Death, while now we’ve had Billie’s last and a very short-lived new one), and then two major moments from Lazarus Rising - Dean emerging from the grave and finding the handprint on his shoulder. Crowley’s first episode, Abandon All Hope 5x10. Zachariah’s death in Point Of No Return 5x18. Anna from The Song Remains The Same 5x13, where she is the antagonist having been brainwashed successfully by heaven. Michael burning and Sam jumping in the cage with Michael in 5x22, then another moment from 4x01 (the brothers hugging after reuniting). A moment from The French Mistake 6x15 (reality fuckery again!). Sam in Frontierland 6x18.

[Gif 4] Reality fuckery continues with Becky marrying Sam in 7x08. Funnily enough, this is the peak of Becky’s obsessive behavior which she went to therapy for and grew away of - it definitely emphasizes how far Becky has come. Donna’s first appeance in 9x13. That iconic shot of Dean in Bloodlust 2x03 because he’s pretty. Charlie’s first appearance in 7x20 while she dances to Walking On Sunshine (relevant?), Kevin’s first appearance in 7x21 when he becomes a prophet (lots of firsts). Abaddon’s first appearance in As Time Goes By 8x12. Then there’s the first appearance of the bunker, in the next episode, a couple shots in fact. Then more 4x01, Ruby pretending to mistake Dean for the pizza man (eh). Then more present...

This section seems to be mostly “first appearances” - including Ruby’s s4 meatsuit, i.e. Genevieve’s first appearance.

[Gif 5] We suddenly jump to more recent events with Kelly and Jack in heaven in Byzanthium 4x08. Jack’s iconic hello from 4x16 Don’t Go In The Woods. Dean teaching Jack how to drive in 14x07 Unhuman Nature. But then we suddenly go from Jack things to something completely different on the surface: two consecutive moments from Changing Channels 5x08, including the iconic Nutcracker scene, and Sully from Just My Imagination. We are actually back to the previous theme: reality fuckery. Gabriel’s episode was about placing them in “television shows”, Sully, while real, is literally a child’s “imaginary friend”. And then... a moment from the cartoon part of Scoobynatural! It doesn’t get more reality fuckery than that. Oh, wait! Charlie and Dorothy going to Oz in 9x04. That’s a pretty strong contender. Dean being hit in the face by a fairy in 6x09 - also about a realm Dean briefly went to. And, in case we felt like we hadn’t gotten enough 4x01 yet, Pamela’s first appearance (her last, albeit a hallucination, was about the whole “How come you only want what you can't have?” thing).

[Gif 6] We continue again with a mixture of firsts and weird things. Ellen’s first appearance in 2x02, Dean and Cas in 4x18 (we saw Chuck from that episode earlier), Jody’s first appearance in 5x15 Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Rufus in 6x04 Weekend At Bobby’s (not his first but a good episode...), Garth in 9x12 Sharp Teeth (not his first but the first in which he is a werewolf and is married... relevant to recent lamp events??), Missouri in 1x09 (her first appearance).

Then Gabriel from 13x21 Beat The Devil (an episode where he plays a trick on Lucifer) and Rowena from the same scene (in fact a scene where they’re flirting). Then Eileen coming back to life in 15x06 and smiling at Sam. Jo flirting with Dean in 2x02 - her first appearance, again. Funnily enough, she had been introduced as a love interest, but ended up being repurposed as a sisterly figure. Tempted to say it’s relevant in an ironic way. Mary in 14x11 Damaged Goods, when Dean has a goodbye mother-son moment with her. Amara in 11x09 Oh Brother Where Art Thou when she was looking for her brother. Then Lucifer in two different vessels (12x07 Rock Never Dies and 12x21, when Lucifer regains control over the vessel).

Then Metatron doing the find a wife make babies speech to Cas in 8x23! Relevant??? Dun dun dun. Then Ketch for some reason (the first episode where we see his face, 12x08 LOTUS).

[Gif 7] Then Jo/Anael in 13x13, another first appearance. (I cropped these horribly I should have cut them when the present happens lol.)

Sandwiched between two shots from the present, Dean Sam Mary and John having dinner together in 14x13 Lebanon.

Then we start again with Dean riding Larry in 12x11, Dean and Cas dressed as cowboys in 13x06 (mini pattern here...), Asmodeus with the archangel blade in 13x13 (insert meta about Asmodeus in Christian lore here), and the really intriguing “Intermission” shot from the play in 10x05.

[Gif 8] To continue a certain pattern we might be tempted to see, Dean eating piecake from 14x06 Optimism (an episode about a distorted version of romantic love), then Dean eating noodles from 10x13 Halt & Catch Fire (the ghost is a husband that passes on thanks to his wife). Dean after his dentistry session with Garth in 15x10. Meg from 6x10 Caged Heat (the episode with the pizza man porn). Dean and Sam investigating in 4x12 Criss Angel Is a Douchebag (an episode about growing old poorly). Crowley in 10x16 Paint It Black (that episode). Dean playing that game in 14x17 Game Night (the episode Cas calls for God, and when Mary dies - the one playing the game was God...). Sam and Dean getting out of the car in 13x05 when they visit the traumatized kid (peak mourning Dean episode...). Then we go into reality fuckery territory again with 14x15 Peace of Mind, Sam under the psychic’s control and Cas disgruntled about it.

[Gif 9] Mick Davies from 12x16 Ladies Drink Free, when he learnt a lesson about monsters. Dean geeking out about the Hatchet Man - so heavy with mirror significances - in 14x04 Mint Condition. Belphegor - Jack’s dark mirror - in 15x03 The Rupture, the break-up episode. Donna’s first episode again, this time Dean and she eating donuts. Dean, Sam and Mary hugging in 12x22 after the confrontation in Mary’s head. Kaia in 13x09 The Bad Place, when Jack uses her to find the way to where Mary is (Mary pattern?). Claire&co rescuing Jody and Donna in 13x10 Wayward Sisters. Dean in 1944 dresses as a sailor in 11x14 The Vessel. Baby nyooming in 15x11 The Gamblers...

Aaand more Changing Channels, the genital herpes ad. It’s almost like reality fuckery is a theme. Followed by Sam drinking the anti-cold concoction at Garth’s in 15x10 and the two of them outside the monster fighting pit in the same episode. Then Cas, Dean, Sam and Jack on a video call with Ketch in 14x09 The Spear when they talk about the egg to trap Michael.

[Gif 10] We stay in the same episode with the four of them heading to Michael. Then the four of them celebrating Jack’s return to life (after Cas’ deal with the Empty). More present, and then the iconic “we’ve got work to do” [trunk closes] moment from the pilot.

So: some of these moments seem like genuine moments you’ll want to put in a montage, but there’s a weird predominance of characters smiling and looking happy or goofy. It’s kind of... not exactly representative of the show as a whole, you know? There are moments that fit as, you know, iconic steps in the story, but surprisingly few, and many moments you’d expect to be in a “final” montage are blatantly not there. Several moments with, let’s put it like this, suspicious meta connotations. Moments that, well, we don’t know what happens in the finale yet, but smell like they might be relevant to future developments. (Metatron’s speech to newly human Cas anyone?)

What really strikes me is the amount of moments connected to reality being manipulated or distorted in some way. Lots of Changing Channels, fantasy elements of various kinds (the Djinn dream, Scoobynatural, Oz, the imaginary friend Becky’s wedding to Sam, the fairy, ...), them acquiring luck (s3) or losing it (s15), and so on. It’s almost like the sequence is telling us something...

Thoughts?

#anon #my spn thoughts #spn meta #spn 15x19 #spn

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noladyme · 4 years

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The Crown Princess of Charming - Part 1

Welcome to Charming - its name says it all. Cat needed a fresh start; and though she hadn’t planned on that being in the arms of the crown prince of this little town’s bikerclub - that was what happened. This Charming CA would either be the death of her - or a whole new life.

This story is obviously non-canon. It will include characters from multiple seasons; some of them having never met on the show. In this universe, Tara didn’t come back from Chicago. I’ve done this to get the story I wanted.

I’ve also decided to give the protagonist a name in this story. I hope you’ll enjoy reading it.

“Move, you goddamn piece of shit!”. My car had stalled just a few yards before a sign that read Welcome to Charming – our name says it all. So far it hadn’t been very charming at all. Multiple cars were passing me and blaring their horns. “Do you think I just decided to park here?”, I yelled at a white Honda, with a blonde behind the wheel. She gave me the finger in response. “Shit!”.

I heard a roar of engines behind me; and a leather clad man on a motorbike pulled up next to my window. “You found a hell of a place to break down, luv’”, he said, with a Scottish drawl. “Yeah, thanks. I hadn’t noticed”, I sneered. “Pardon me, I was just stating facts”, he smirked. I frowned. “Sorry. I’ve just had a long ass drive”, I mumbled. “Mind if we take a look at it?”, he asked. I gestured for him to go ahead; and stepped out of the tired, beat up car; that had been my home for the last 4 days – driving from Chicago, to my new home in the town I’d chosen by its name alone. Charming.

I needed something charming at this point in my life – the last few years having been chaos – so I’d thrown everything to the wind; and had basically run away from the city, when I’d applied for, and been offered a job at Charming Middle School.

Behind my car, two more mc’s were parked – one of them a tall bearded man who sent me a friendly smile; and the other a blonde, lean guy, wearing a white t-shirt and white sneakers. Interesting choice for riding a motorcycle, I thought. All three men had the same patch on their backs – a skull-headed reaper. The writing said Sons of Anarchy – California.

The scot had opened my hood, and was looking into the steaming entrails of my car. He let out a long whistle. “When was the last time you checked our oil, luv’?”. I decided to ignore his choice of nickname for me. “I have no idea. I just bought it a week ago; haven’t really done anything but drive it”. He smiled and shook his head. “Jackie!”, he called. The blonde man looked up; and took of his sunglasses – revealing a pair of piercing baby blues. “We’re gonna need the tow-truck”.

The blonde got off his bike, and joined the scot at the front of the car. “Shit”. He drew out the word, ending it with a full-on laugh. “Darlin’, you’ve killed it”. I sighed. “Great…”. “Were you going far?”, he asked. “Charming was my destination; but I didn’t even make it past the sign”. I ran my hand through my hair. “Shit!”.

Blonde guy called out to the bearded biker. “Ope! Call TM. Get Rat out here with the tow”. “We can’t leave her here, on the side of the road”, the third man answered. Blondie chewed his lip. “You up for a ride?”, he asked me. I was caught off guard. “What?”, I asked. “We’ll get your car back to our shop. You can wait there for it; and figure out your next step”. I shrugged. “Yeah, why the hell not”.

Blondie walked up to me and stuck out his hand. “I’m Jackson. Scottie here is Chibs; and the kind man calling a tow-truck for you, is Opie”. I took his hand and shook it. His grab on mine was firm, but gentle. “I’m Cat”, I said cautiously. He smiled brightly at me; a glint to his eyes that made me blush slightly. “Welcome to Charming”, he said. “Now, come on”.

He handed me his own helmet; and got on his bike; patting the seat behind him. I grabbed my purse from the front seat; leaving my keys on the left front wheel. Welcome to Charming, indeed, I thought, and got on Jacksons bike with him, looking for something to grab on to “You’re gonna have to hold on to me, Cat”, Jackson smirked. I put my hands on his waist – noticing his firm and muscular frame – and he started up the bike. The force of the engine between my legs made me jump a little; and I heard Jackson chuckle in front of me. “Don’t worry, I got you”. He revved the engine, and we rode in to town.

—

We drove into a big lot about 10 minutes later. I noticed a large amount of motorcycles; and more bikers clad in leather. They all wore the same patch as the three men I’d just met – though some said Nevada. There were two large buildings; one was an auto shop – Teller Morrow – and the other seemed to be some sort of a clubhouse.

Jackson halted his bike at the end of the line of motorcycles; seemingly a spot reserved for him. I climbed off, almost stumbling; and he grabbed my hand to steady me. “You good?”, he asked. I nodded.

A tall middle-aged woman, with an amazing rack, came out of the office of the auto shop. “Jax; Clays been looking for you”, she said. Jackson smirked, and backed his bike into his spot. “What else is new?”, he said. The woman kissed his cheek. “I’m picking up the kid in a few. You need anything at home?”. “Milk. And coffee”, Jackson answered. He looked towards me. “Ma; this is Cat. Her car stalled just by the edge of town”. The woman looked at me; her eyes enquiring, but mostly friendly. “The one Rat and Juice went out for?”. Jackson nodded.

She shook my hand. “Gemma Teller”, she said. “Cat Rose”, I smiled. “You’re the new teacher down at the middle-school”, she said – more a statement than a question. I nodded. “Yeah, I am. How’d you know?”. “Gem knows everything”, the biker named Chibs said; and kissed Gemma’s cheek. “Hi, mom”.

I chuckled. “You seem a little too young to be his mom”. “Around here, I’m everyone’s mom”, she answered. “Though my only biological kid, is the cheeky blonde you rode bitch with”. I took that as meaning Jax was her son. The cheeky blonde sent me a smile. “Gemma will take care of you from here on”, he said. “See you around, teach’”. I smiled in return; and Jackson walked towards the clubhouse.

I followed Gemma into her office. “What’s the Sons of Anarchy?”, I asked. “Sweetheart, stick around long enough, you’ll find out”, she said. “Coffee?”. “Yeah, thanks”, I smiled.

I didn’t see any of my new biker friends the rest of the day; as my car arrived not long after we did. A mohawked Latino named Juice, of all things; informed me that my cooler was shot; and I needed a completely new starter. None of this made any sense to me; as I didn’t know anything about engines – but looking at the costs of repairs needed to have the vehicle function again; I decided to sell it for scrap.

“Too bad, honey”, Gemma said. “I had one of those as a teenager”. “You wanna buy it?”, I grinned. “I wouldn’t be caught dead in it”, she answered, and lit a cigarette; offering me one. I accepted. “Juice; is Tig still selling his old chevy?”. “Yeah, he hasn’t gotten a buyer yet. I think it’s ‘cuz it smells like wet dog”. I shook my head. “I won’t be able to afford it; with or without the smell”. Gemma winked at me. “I’ll get a you a good deal; and you can make payments”. I smiled. “I’m gonna like this town”. “We all do”, she smiled back.

—

Gemma gave me a ride to the motel I was going to stay at, until I found a new place. I got my four boxes and two suitcases out of her trunk and backseat; thanking her for all her help. “It’s me who should be thanking you. The school had been looking for a good arts teacher for over a year”. “I’m taking over 6’th and 7’th grade English as well”, I said. She laughed. “Mrs. Bloom finally decided to retire, huh?”, she said. “She taught both me and Jackson”. “Wow…”, I grimaced. “I’m not that old”, she said. “That’s not…”, I began. “Just pulling your leg sweetheart”, she smiled. “See you around”. She drove off, and left me to settle in to my new temporary home.

I spent the evening scanning the newspaper for cheap rentals. Money was scarce; but I knew the motel needed to be short term – especially after noticing the thin walls inability to hide the sounds of my neighbors having kinky sex. Some woman kept screaming Yes, Daddy!; making it difficult to concentrate on my apartment-hunting .

In the evening; after ordering a pizza; I decided to take a shower. I let the water run for a bit; before stepping in – trying to ignore the metallic smell of it. Washing 4 days of roadtripping off my body; I finally felt clean enough to face my new situation.

I’d left Chicago in a hurry; leaving my furniture, and only bringing my most cherished belongings. I wanted to get as far away from the city as possible; but a ticket to Hawaii was out of the question on my teachers’ salary – and I wasn’t ready to go back to dancing at clubs. Most of my last cash had been spent on the now dead Ford; that I’d sold for scrap through TM.

Chicago wasn’t my home town; but I’d thought it was the place for me. I’d been proven wrong, when a relationship had gone wrong. Very wrong. I’d needed to get away from the guy in question; as his possessive nature throughout our relationship had ended up scaring me. Trying to get a restraining order hadn’t worked due to his own contacts within the court-system. I wanted a new life. Maybe Charming could be the base for that.

Stepping out of the shower; I wrapped myself in a towel. There was a knock on the door, and I went to open it. Outside stood Jackson; a grin the size of the county on his handsome face. “You’re not pizza…”, I said. “Not the last time I checked”, he chuckled. “You left behind some paperwork at TM”. I looked down at my lack of clothing. “I should get dressed”, I smiled. “Come on in. Sorry about the mess”. He stepped inside. “It’s fine, darlin’. You should see my place”.

I grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms, and a tank top from an open suitcase; and went into the bathroom. “Do you usually order pizza in just a towel?”, he called after me. “Only if the delivery-guy is really cute”, I called back. Shit… now you’re flirting with the biker. Good one, Cat. “I’ll have to change professions”, I heard him mutter.

I stepped back into the room, fully dressed. “What’s the paperwork?”, I asked. He handed me an envelope. “Just a signoff for the scrapping of the car”, he said. “It’s too bad. My mom had one of those back in the day”. “She told me”, I smiled. “Coffee?” He smiled. “Nah, sorry, I gotta run again”. “Too bad”, I said. Dammit! Stop, you idiot.

He chuckled. “It’s good to have some fresh blood in town. I hear you’re starting at the school. You’ll be teaching one of Opie’s kids. Ellie – sweet kid”. I signed the papers he’d handed me, and gave them back. “I’ll remember to give her good grades”, I said. “Yeah…”, he answered sadly. “She’s been through it. Her and Kenny both. Their mom died a year back”. “I’m sorry to hear that”, I answered earnestly. “Donna was a good mom. And a good old lady”, he said. “What’s that?”, I asked. “An old lady? Shit, you are new in town”, he smirked. I shrugged. “Just not used to biker lingo”, I winked. “I’ll have to get you used to it, then…”, he said with a smile. I chewed my lip, a rush of heat going through my body.

He remembered himself. “The car – the one you’re buying”, he said. “Tig will be down at the shop tomorrow night. You can pick up the keys then”. I exhaled; trying to calm down my budding crush on the gorgeous man in front of me. “Thanks. I’ll be there. 7 pm good?”. “We should be done with church by then”, he said. “Tomorrow’s not Sunday”, I answered. He chuckled. “Not that kind of church”. I narrowed my eyes playfully. “Biker lingo…”, I said. “Biker lingo”, he smirked.

We stood there for a while, both unsure what to say; before Jax broke the silence. “Tomorrow; it’s Gemma’s birthday. There’s gonna be a party at the clubhouse”, he said cautiously. “If you wanna stick around for a while…”. “Maybe”, I smiled.

“Yes Daddy! Slap that ass!”, we heard from next door. We both laughed. “If I’m not mistaken; Tig might be right next door. But it’s probably not a good time to disturb him”, Jackson said. “I’ll wait”, I agreed. “See you tomorrow?”. “I’m looking forward to it”, Jackson winked; and walked out the door; giving me a final grin; before closing it behind him.

Cat. You can’t have sex with the biker, I told myself. But the warm sensation streaming though me, told me I’d probably have a problem sticking to that, if I had the opportunity.

—

The next day I slept in; enjoying the feeling of being in an actual bed for the first time in days. I did some light shopping for groceries – the fridge in my motel room not being very big. The people I met seemed friendly enough, though a bit standoffish. I figured it was because I was new in town.

Walking back towards the motel; a group of bikers rode by – one of them being Opie. He lifted a hand in a wave at me. I noticed that the bikes were ridden almost in a procession; with a leader in front; and everyone else keeping to their assigned position in the group. It was led by a grey-haired man with a prominent jaw. He looked at me, and nodded. I nodded back.

Back in my room, I had a light lunch; and decided to figure out what the hell one wore for a birthday party at a biker club. I figured some skinny jeans and an off the shoulder, black t-shirt would have to do. Putting on my favorite necklace – a silvery hand with an eye in the middle; a Hamsa symbol – I let my hair hang lose; and put on a little makeup. Black cat eye; and red lips. It usually did the trick. You’re actually dressing up for the biker now, I smirked at myself.

I was early; so, I tracked down a coffee shop to sit and read a book. My shoulder bag usually had at least one volume in it. This week, it was American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. I was completely concentrated on my book; when suddenly Chibs and a large curly haired man stepped in to the shop. “Well, look who we have here!”, Chibs smiled. “Bobby, this is the young lady who killed her car just outside town”. I grinned. “Thanks”, I said. “I needed a reminder of my bad mechanic skills”. “I aim to serve, madam”, the scot grinned. Bobby stuck out his hand. “Welcome to town, my lady”, he said; and kissed my hand chivalrously. “Careful Bob. VP’s got his eye on this one”, Chibs said. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, I asked. “Don’t worry about it”, Bobby grinned.

I took a sip of my coffee, and shook my head. “What are you doing here?”. “Coffee run for church. It was a long night”, Chibs winked. The man behind the counter handed over some coffees to Bobby; who pulled out his wallet. “Your money’s no good here”, the barista said. Bobby nodded. “How’s your mom?”, he asked. “Much better, thanks”, the man answered and smiled. “I’ll pay you back”. “We know you’re good for it, Gary”, Chibs said. He looked at me. “See you later?”. I nodded.

The bikers left the shop; and drove off towards TM. The barista walked up to me with my check. “Welcome to town”, he said warily. “Look… Samcro; they’re a part of this town; and they do a lot of good. But they’re in to some pretty bad stuff as well. Be careful”. He didn’t wait for an answer; but just went back behind his register. I frowned, and tried to wrap my head around his words. I paid Gary, and left the shop myself.

I decided to do some light sightseeing. It was Saturday; so most of the small shops closed early; but I made my way to the middle-school that would be my new place of work the coming Monday. The trek was a bit longer than I’d anticipated; so I was glad that I had a newish car set up for me. The building wasn’t large, but I figured it was large enough for the amount of kids in the area. The look of it gave me some peace of mind. It would be an easy start, I thought. And I was looking forward to it.

—

Walking back towards TM, I stopped by a florist who was closing up. I got a nice bouquet for Gemma, and walked into the auto-shop lot. The place was bustling with people. At least 20 bikes were parked in the lot; and everywhere people were shaking hands, and grabbing wrapped presents out of their cars. The men were all clad in leather; except for a man in a sheriff’s uniform; and the women were mostly wearing miniskirts and dresses – their boobs on display as much as possible.

I didn’t recognize any faces, and felt a bit anxious, before someone grabbed my shoulder. “Hey, darlin’”, Jax was beaming at me. He leant in and kissed my cheek; his stubble and short beard scratching my chin in a delicious way. “I’m glad you made it!”. “Yeah, me too”, I smiled. He took my hand, holding it confidently. “Come on. I’ll introduce you”.

We walked in to the clubhouse. It smelled like motor oil and whiskey, and the air was heavy with smoke. It should have put me off; but I was enjoying it. It reminded me of my former profession as a dancer, and the kind of trouble I’d gotten in to then. Jackson let go of my hand, and put his own on my lower back, leading me to the bar counter. “You remember Opie”, he said; gesturing at the tall bearded man. With his helmet off, he was now wearing a hoodie, and had a beautiful blonde on his arm. Opie shook my hand and smiled at me friendlily. “This is Lyla”, he said softly, and gestured at the woman. “Nice to meet you”, she smiled. I thought I recognized her face from somewhere, but I couldn’t make the connection. “Cat”, I smiled, and shook her hand.

Jax led me on. “Chibs and Juice, you know as well; and I’m told you already met Bobby”. The men both nodded at me. “Then there’s Happy…”. A tall menacing man sent me a warm smile. “Piney; Opies dad”; Jackson said, gesturing at an elderly man with an oxygen tank hanging from his shoulder. Jackson looked at a scrawny looking guy, and a tall heavy man standing next to him. “Those are the prospects. They don’t matter”. I scrunched my brows at him. “Trust me”, he chuckled.

We walked towards a dark-skinned, kind looking woman, holding a beautiful baby in her arms. “Hey Neeta”, Jax smiled, and took the baby from her; holding it to his chest. His face was glowing with pride. “And this is my boy. Abel”. I let the baby hold my finger, and smiled at his chubby face. “Hi, Abel”. Jacksons eyes met mine; gleaming. “Is… his mom…”, I tried – fearing the answer. “Not around”, Jax answered. “It’s better that way”, he said meaningfully. I nodded. It wasn’t the time.

Abel started fussing. Jax took a baby-blanket from a diaper-bag on a table. “Did you bring…?”, Jax said, before Neeta handed him a bottle. Jax smiled warmly in thank you. He put the bottle to Abel’s mouth. “Here you go, little dude”. He bounced the baby up and down softly. “You’re good at that”, I smiled. “My mom would have my ass, if I wasn’t”, he grinned. “Besides, he’s my little man”. I stroked a finger over the baby’s forehead. “He’s perfect”. Jax looked at me proudly. “Yeah”, he smiled.

I looked around. “Where is your mom, by the way?”. “Shit, yeah”, he said, looking at the watch on his wrist. Jackson kissed the top of Abel’s head, and handed the bottle back to Neeta. “Gemma and Clay will be here in 5”, he called into the room. “She doesn’t know why she’s here. So quiet the hell up!”. There was a rumbling of an engine outside. “Shit, they’re early!”, Bobby said. “Turn off the lights!”.

Someone hit the lights; and about ten seconds later the door opened. “Goddammit, Clay”, Gemma grumbled, as she walked in. “You promised to take me to dinner, you jerk!”.

“Surprise!”, everyone yelled; and the lights turned on again. Gemma stood, mouth agape; flanked by the grey-haired man I’d seen on the road earlier; and a black-haired man with piercing eyes, I figured was Tig. “Oh my God!”, Gemma cried out. “You assholes!”. She laughed, and began hugging the people around her. Jackson walked up to his mom; and embraced her warmly; Abel still in his arms. Gemma kissed first Jackson; and then the baby, taking him from Jax’s arms. “You guys are dicks”, she said; happy tears in her eyes. The grey-haired man – Clay – put his arm around her waist, and kissed her warmly. “Happy birthday, baby”, he said. “At least you remembered it this year”, Gemma pouted playfully at him.

She looked towards me, a sense of wonder in her eyes. I smiled, and mouthed happy birthday. She mouthed me a thank you in response; followed by a warm smile. For a second her eyes shifted from me to Jackson, and she narrowed her eyes at him; whispering something in his ear. He laughed in response, and looked at me, biting his lip. He nodded at his mom, and walked back to me.

“Do you want a drink?”, he asked. “Please”, I said, smiling nervously. “Don’t worry, babe, you’re here with me”. I laughed. “Maybe that’s why I’m worried”. He winked at me. “In that case, you should be worried. Word around the street is, I’m dangerous”. He kissed my cheek again, and put his arm around me. “Rat, get this lady a beer”. The scrawny prospect handed over a cold bottle, and I took a welcome sip of it.

Opie joined us. “You’re teaching my kid this year”, he said. “Yeah, Jackson told me”, I answered. The tall man looked a bit uncomfortable. “She’s been having some issues… It’s been messing with her schoolwork”. I smiled comfortingly. “Don’t worry, I won’t be a hard-ass”, I said. Opie smiled softly. “Thanks”, he muttered.

Jax looked at his friend. “I told Cat about Donna”, he said. Opie nodded and met my eyes. “So you get it”, he said. “I do”, I said. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help”. Opies expression warmed. “Thanks”, he said. “Cheers”, he said, raising his bottle at me. We clinked our beers, and both took a sip.

Opie looked meaningfully at Jax. “We got that thing, brother”, he muttered. Jackson frowned slightly, and looked at me. “I need to do some business”, he said, and put a strand of hair behind my ear. “Be back in a bit”. He walked off with Opie, leaving me to sit on a stool by the bar.

The black-haired man walked up next to me. “I hear you’re in need of a car”, he said, accepting a beer from the larger prospect. “I’m Tig”. “Cat”, I answered. “I know”, he winked at me. “It’s a piece of shit old chevy, but it’s better than the one you came to town in”. “Anything is better than that”, I laughed. He handed me a set of keys. “80 a month for a year work for you?”, he said. “That’s cheap”, I said, frowning slightly. “We take care of our own”, Tig said, and patted my shoulder. “By the way; if you get sick of the VP, let me know”, he smirked. I laughed again. “Sure, Daddy”, I grinned. “So the was you, next door”, he chuckled. I shrugged, and nodded.

Juice stepped up to stand on the other side of me. “Hey”, he said, giving me a crooked smile, and a lifted brow. Tig tapped him over the head. “Hands of, Juicy!”, he said. “Jax territory”. The young biker took a step away from me. “Sorry”, he laughed nervously. I shook my head, laughing. “This place is weird”, I said. “Welcome to town”, Tig said; and clinked his bottle to mine, taking a sip of beer. I joined him in the drink. We took a shot of whiskey together, before Tig’s attention went to a busty brunette in the corner. “Excuse me”, he muttered; and sauntered off, leaving me alone again.

I decided to look for a friendly face in the crowd, being a bit uncomfortable on my own. Jax hadn’t come back for his business yet, and I was worried he’d leave me alone all night. Lyla was standing with another woman, looking like they were gossiping about something. She caught my eye and waved me over. “How are you holding up?”, she asked. The other woman walked off; climbing on to Happy’s lap, where he was sitting on a couch. “Uhm…”, I began. “I just got in to town, and I’m already having drinks with the local biker gang. I’d say I’m a little out of my comfort zone”. She smiled friendlily at me. “You’ve already bagged the vice president. You’re doing just fine”, she said. “I haven’t bagged anyone”, I smiled. “He’s known you for 2 days, and already invited you to his mom’s birthday. I’d say you’re a bit more than some crow-eater”, Lyla responded.

I took another sip of my beer. “What’s a crow-eater?”. Lyla chuckled. “Ok, quick lowdown on the women in the club”, she began. “Most of the women in here, are what we call crow-eaters. They hang around the club, make the men feel good about themselves… you know”. “An easy lay”, I muttered. “Yeah”, Lyla smiled. “Some of us are what you’d call old ladies. We’re the ones who have locked our men down. See this…”. She showed me a tattoo of a flying crow on her shoulder. “This means no one but Opie touches me”. “Doesn’t it feel weird to be… marked, like that?”. I grimaced. “Sorry… I didn’t mean…”. “Don’t worry about it, honey. I get it”, Lyla responded. “This is just my way of showing everyone around me that I belong to Opie; but also, that Opie belongs to me”.

She smiled, and took my hand, squeezing it. “You seem nice, so I’ll let you in on a secret. This life… it’s not easy; but I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love Opie – and his kids. He takes care of me and my boy”. She looked at me meaningfully. “But if you’re unsure about whether this is your idea of a good life; you should walk away. I mean that in the nicest way. Please don’t take it as anything else”. I gave her a crooked smile. “I’ll take it a day at a time”. She nodded.

A hand grabbed mine. Jax was standing next to me. “Hey”, he said softly. “Come say hi to my mom”. I followed him over to Gemma. “Hey sweetheart”, she said. “Thanks for the flowers. They’re beautiful”. “You’re welcome”, I smiled. “This is my husband, Clay”, she said, and the man at her side shook my hand. His eyes were deep and menacing; and I was unsure whether to be afraid of him or respect him. “Welcome to town, teach’”, he said. “Thanks. It’s been good so far”. Clay nodded at me, and looked at Jax. “Did you finish that business?”. Jackson clenched his jaw. “It’s done”, he said. “I made the call”. “Good”, Clay said. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t blow back on us”.

Gemma patted his chest. “No club business on my birthday, baby”. Clay smiled at his wife, and kissed her again. “Yes, ma’am”, he muttered. Gemma looked at Jax. “Do you need me to take the baby tonight?”. Jax looked at me, and then back at his mom. “Would you?”. “You know I love taking him”, she smiled. “Make it my birthday present”. Jackson chuckled. “Shit, I’ll take back the diamond necklace then”, he said. He took my hand. “Come on, let’s find somewhere quiet”. My breath hitched, and I followed him out of the clubhouse.

We sat down by a picnic table just outside the door. Jax had brought us a pair of freshly opened beers. “You doing ok?”, he asked earnestly. “Yeah”, I smiled. “Just … a bit out of my element”. He bit his lip and looked at me enquiringly. “What element is that?”, he asked. “I dunno… I usually don’t go to mc-parties”. He chuckled, and took my hand. “I’m glad you’re here”. “You don’t even know me”, I said quietly.

He sighed. “Tell me, then”. “What do you want to know?”, I smiled nervously. “Whatever you want to share”, he shrugged. “Why?”, I asked. He looked at me with a genuine warmth. “Because I’ve been thinking about you ever since you wrapped these hands around my waist, and it sent chills down my spine”. He took my other hand, linking his fingers with mine. “Where did you come from?”.

I didn’t know how much to tell him. I was still mentally sore from my ordeal with the guy in Chicago – but his serious expression made me trust him. “Chicago”, I said. “I was a teacher there as well. It didn’t work out…”. “Why?”. I sighed. “The city can wear a girl down”, I smiled theatrically. “And there was… a guy. He didn’t know how to take no for an answer”. Jacksons jaw clenched. “What’d he do to you?”, he almost growled “At first he was fine. We had a few dates, before he suddenly proclaimed his love for me”. “You didn’t feel the same way?”, Jax asked. “No. I mean; back then, he was friendly, had a steady job… He saw himself as a catch; and I guess he was. But I just didn’t care about him like that. He was… possessive. I tried to call it off, but he acted like I’d never said anything, and continued dropping by at my school; sending me flowers; and showing up at my apartment at all hours of the day”. Jackson bit his lip. “Sorry… I guess you’re off men for a while”, he said, and met my eyes again. I smiled. “No. Just him”. “Good to know”, he muttered. “But why didn’t you get a restraining order?”.

I sighed again. “I tried… he has connections. When he didn’t like my way of handling things, he let the word spread in the school council that I had an issue with drugs”. Jax shook his head angrily. “Asshole”. “Yeah”, I agreed. “I managed to get the drug accusations of my record – but it was too late, and I was fired”. “So you came to Charming”. I nodded. “I looked at names of towns on the west coast; and Charming seemed promising”, I smiled. “There was an opening as a teacher the elementary school; so I applied – and they must have been desperate, ‘cuz they gave me the position with just a phone interview”.

He squeezed my hands again. “I’m glad you’re here”. “Me too”, I muttered.

Jax put his hand on my cheek, and stroked my temple. “So if you’re not off men… mind if I give it a shot?”. I bit my lip, trying to stifle a smile, and shook my head.

He leant in, and stroked his nose against mine. Our lips brushed each other for a second; and he kissed me. I parted my lips slightly, and the tip of his tongue met mine. He put his hand on my lower back, pulling me closer to him. He smelled like leather and some musky cologne; a warm smell that fit him perfectly – and his kiss tasted like the beer he’d been drinking, and mint chewing gum.

He exhaled deeply and pulled back a bit. “Do you want to get out of here?”, he asked softly. My body was screaming yes, but I was desperately trying to control myself. “Jax… I just moved into town. We’ve known each other for 5 minutes… I don’t think…”. “I get it”, he smiled. “I’m not expecting you to jump in to bed with me. But I do want to see you again”. “I’d like that”, I smiled.

Our lips met again. “You taste like… pancakes”, he smiled. “Is that good?”, I smiled. “It’s perfect”, he said against my lips, kissing me deeply one more time.

The door opened, and Juice stepped outside with a ginger girl. “Shit, sorry”, he smiled. “It’s fine, Juice, the table is yours. Just clean it up afterwards”, Jackson smiled. “Come on”, he said to me, pulling me with him.

“I think it’s time for me to go home”, I said softly. He looked at me with a kind smile. “You want a ride?”. I jingled the keys in my pocket. “I got a new car; remember?”. Jax groaned. “Shit; I would have loved to have these legs wrapped around me, in one way or another”. He slid a hand over my thigh; squeezing them gently.

Juice looked impatient; and Jax took my hand – leading me over to a black, classic looking Chevrolet. “Wow…”, I said. “I popped an air freshener in there for you. It had a pretty gnarly smell”, Jax chuckled. “Thanks”, I smiled, and looked at him warmly.

Getting into the car – immediately thanking Jax an extra time for the air freshener; as it was needed – I rolled down the window. “Thanks for inviting me”, I smiled at the blonde man. Jax took the hand I had resting in the window-opening, and squeezed it – winking at me. His face suddenly dropped. “Shit, Cat. I didn’t get your number…”. I grinned, and rattled of my digits, and he punched the number into a flip phone from his pocket. Who uses flip phones anymore?

Jax leant in, and planted a final soft kiss against my lips. “Bye”, he whispered, and bit his lower lip. I smiled and started up the engine. My new car purred, and I had a wide smile on my face, as I left the lot – sending a final look towards the picnic table, where Juice was face deep in the red-haired girls cleavage.

Welcome to Charming, I grinned to myself, and drove off.

—

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#soa #jax teller #jax teller fic #jax teller x oc #jackson teller #jackson teller fic #sons of anarchy #sons of anarchy fic

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marlborodean · 3 years

Text

annotation for my "destiel but it's just one direction playlist," mainly for my sister who hasn't seen supernatural but you guys can read it too if you want :^)

DIANA // 4x01, "Lazarus Rising"

this episode introduces Cas :) Castiel speaks Enochian but when he was trying to speak to Dean he was instead causing radio static and shattering windows :) he gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition :) he knew all of Dean’s soul just from touching him :) he left his handprint burned into Dean’s skin :)

Notable Lyrics:

how could someone not miss you at all?

i never would mistreat you, no, i’m not a criminal. i speak a different language but I still hear your call

let me be the one to light a fire inside those eyes. you’ve been lonely, you don’t even know me, but I can feel you crying. let me be the one to lift your heart up and save your life. i don’t think you even realize, baby, you’d be saving mine

it’s only been four months but you’ve fallen down so far

i wanna reach out for you, i wanna break these walls

we all need something. if i could hold you, swear i’d never put you down

KISS YOU // 4x07, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester"

the only reason i have for this is the pure tension between Dean and Cas in this ep, which includes Dean staring at Cas's mouth and licking his lips :)

Notable Lyrics:

i just wanna take you anywhere that you like, we could go out any day, any night. i’ll take you there

tell me how to turn your love on. you can get anything that you want

if you want me to, let’s make a move

HEY ANGEL // 4x10, "Heaven and Hell"

in this ep, there is a female angel who is. i mean she’s just there to mirror what Cas will become. she is a fallen angel who rebelled because she fell in love with humanity :) and Cas talks to her, tells her that “for the time, i feel…” later in the show there’s another angel that says Cas’s “true weakness is involved. he’s in love! with humanity" :) also in this ep, the female angel and Dean have sex. clearly if Cas was a woman they would’ve been in a relationship long ago :)

Notable Lyrics:

hey angel, do you look at us and laugh when we hold onto the past? hey angel, tell me, do you ever try to come to the other side?

i wish i could be more like you. do you wish you could be more like me?

i see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head

BETTER THAN WORDS // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"

in this ep, Dean is kept in a beautiful white room (which they call the green room #theatrekidvibes), and everyone understands the tension between Dean and Cas to be needlessly horny :) Cas defies heaven's orders to help Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

more than a feeling, crazy in love. every time we touch, i’m all shook up. best i ever had, hips don’t lie, you make me wanna—

how deep is your love? god only knows

i don’t know how else to sum it up, there’s no way i can explain your love

everyone tries to see what it feels like, but they’ll never be right

YOU & I // 4x22, "Lucifer Rising"

Castiel literally invented free will. the prophet Chuck couldn’t predict Castiel’s actions :) he said “you guys aren’t in this story!” and Cas replied “we’re making it up as we go” :)

Notable Lyrics:

we can make it ’til the end, nothing can come between you and i. not even the gods above can separate the two of us, nothing can come between you and i. we could make it if we try

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"

in this ep, Castiel thinks he is going to die the next day so Dean takes him out for a fun night :) and Dean says it’s the first time he’s laughed that hard in a long time :)

Notable Lyrics:

you know i’ve always got your back, so let me be the one you come running to. just call my name, i’ll be coming through. on the other side of the world, it don’t matter, i’ll be there in two

there’s something about your laugh that makes me want to have to. there’s nothing funny so we laugh at nothing.

every minute’s like the last so let’s just take it real slow. forget about the clock that’s ticking

you have always been the only one i wanted

i wanted you to know without you i can’t face it

WHY DON'T WE GO THERE // 5x03, "Free to Be You and Me"

same ep, but this is placed here because Dean said to Cas, “there are two things I know for certain. One: Bert and Ernie are gay. Two: you are not gonna die a virgin, not on my watch.” you connect those dots :)

Notable Lyrics:

think about all the places we could go if you five in tonight. just let me set you free

we’ve got all night, and we’re going nowhere. why don’t you stay? why don’t we go there? let’s take a ride out in the cold air, i know the way, why don’t you go there with me?

ONCE IN A LIFETIME // 5x04, "The End"

in this ep, an angel zaps Dean to five years into the future where he meets his future self and future Cas. there was HEAVY subtext that they were together :) at the end of the ep, after he sees his future self die and ultimately destroy the entire world, he is zapped back to present time (where it is safe) and Castiel is there waiting for him at the side of the road in the middle of the night :)

Notable Lyrics:

once in a lifetime, you were mine

when i close my eyes, all the stars align and you are by my side. once in a lifetime, it’s just right. we are always safe, not even the bad guys in the dark night could take it all away

DRAG ME DOWN // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

this fits anywhere between 4x01 and this ep, which is when. when Dean finds out that Cas had betrayed him and was working alongside the king of hell behind his back :) so as long as this is placed before That Scene, it's fine :)

Notable Lyrics:

i’ve got a fire for a heart, i’m not scared of the dark, you’ve never seen it look so easy. i’ve got a river for a soul, and baby, you’re a boat. baby you’re my only reason

if i didn’t have you, there would be nothing left. the shell of a man that could never be his best. if i didn’t have you, i’d never see the sun

you taught me how to be someone

all my life you stood by me, when no one else was ever behind me. with your love, nobody can drag me down

WOLVES // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

the war with angels is oncoming, so Cas is trying (trying) to do lots of damage control with that, which means killing angels and demons alike that are after the Winchesters. there's a great scene here :) idk it fits here somehow my brain is too big to be confined by the English language

Notable Lyrics:

in the middle of the night when the wolves come out, they head straight for your heart like a bullet in the dark. one by one, i take them down

i keep on holding tight now, ‘cause your body’s telling me don’t let go

just getting my demons out, wouldn’t ever doubt. your beauty could start a war as you walk in the dining room

i wish it wasn’t true, but the whole world’s trying to get a piece of you, and my heart keeps fighting in this battle of fools

INFINITY // 6x20, "The Man Who Would Be King"

since Cas is trying to prevent the war, much like Aziraphale, he is deemed a failed and fallen angel! :) but then Dean finds out Cas has been working with the king of hell behind his back! :) Cas says "It sounds so simple when you say it like that. Where were you when I needed to hear it?" and Dean replies "I was there. Where were you?" :)

Notable Lyrics:

down to earth, keep on falling when i know it hurts

now i’m one step closer to being two steps from you, when everybody wants you

i was there for you. all i ever wanted was the truth. how many nights have you wished someone would stay?

FOOL'S GOLD // 7x02, "Hello, Cruel World"

i see this as Cas POV as he decides to sacrifice himself and let the Leviathans destroy him, before he leaves Dean ahahaha! i see it in this point in time because Cas loves Dean but assumes Dean doesn't feel the same, but! as we see, Dean keeps Cas's coat (because he loves him)

Notable Lyrics:

i know in my heart, you’re not a constant star. i let you use me from the day that we first met, but I’m not done yet, falling for you. i knew that you turned it on for everyone you’ve met, but i don’t regret falling for you

i know your love’s not real, but that’s not the way it feels. that’s not the way you feel

HALF A HEART // 7x02-7x21

literally every time Cas dies, Dean becomes inconsolable and loses all will to live and succumbs to raging alcoholism :) in season 7, when Cas dies, Dean keeps his jacket. for months. :) also applies to 13x01-13x05

Notable Lyrics:

so your friends [have] been telling me, you’ve been sleeping with my sweater, and that you can’t stop missing me. bet my friends [have] been telling you, i’m not doing much better

i’m missing half of me, and being here without you is like i’m waking up to only half a blue sky. kind of there, but not quite. i’m walking 'round with just one shoe. i’m half a heart without you. i’m half a man at best, with half an arrow in my chest. i miss everything we do. i’m half a heart without you

forget all we said that night, it doesn’t even matter

though i try to get you out of my head, the truth is i got lost without you

GIRL ALMIGHTY // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"

very closely tied to the imagery of the episode rather than the story. the bright light as Cas overpowers his brainwashing, Dean kneeling in front of Cas. not to self-promo but watch my Religion AMV to see what i mean!! it's visceral stuff :)

Notable Lyrics:

her light is as loud as many ambulances as it takes to save a savior

am i the only believer? there’s something happening here. i hope you feel what i’m feeling too

i get down on my knees for you

STRONG // 8x17, "Goodbye Stranger"

Castiel has been brainwashed into betraying Dean again, to the point where he was forced to participate in hundreds of simulations where he has to kill Dean :) so when the time comes where he’s told to kill Dean, he suddenly can’t do it :) know why? because Dean tells him “Cas, it’s me. We need you. I need you.” :)

Notable Lyrics:

my hands, your hands, tied up like two ships. my heart, your heart, sit tight like bookends. pages between us written with no end. so many words we’re not saying. don’t wanna wait til it’s gone

i’m sorry if i say ‘i need you’

when i’m not with you, i’m weaker. is that so wrong? is it so wrong that you make me strong?

WHERE DO BROKEN HEARTS GO // 9x03, "I'm No Angel"

Cas loses his grace so now he is human. for some reason i don’t remember, Dean tells him he can’t stay at his place anymore. now Cas is homeless! :) and so Dean regrets it and goes to look for him :) also side note but there is some fan headcanons or theories that Cas had to resort to sex work to make money :/

Notable Lyrics:

counted all my mistakes and there’s only one standing out from the list of the things i’ve done. all the rest of my crimes don’t come close to the look on your face when i let you go.

the taste of your lips on the tip of my tongue is at the top of the list of the things i want

love was something you’ve never heard enough

now i’m searching every lonely place, every corner calling out your name, trying to find you, but i just don’t know. where do broken hearts go?

are you sleeping by yourself? or are you giving it to someone else?

tell me where you go when you feel afraid. tell me, will you ever love me again?

I WANT TO WRITE YOU A SONG // 11x03, "The Bad Seed"

no thoughts only the scene of Dean wrapping a blanket around Cas :)

Notable Lyrics:

i want to write you a song, one that’s beautiful as you are sweet, with just a hint of pain for the feeling that i get when you are gone

i want to lend you my coat, one that’s as soft as your cheek, so when the world is cold, you’ll have a hiding place you can go

everything i need i get from you, giving back is all i wanna do

MOMENTS // 11x23, "Alpha and Omega"

this song is like...every time Dean or Cas is about to sacrifice himself/DIE and they get emotional about it. this is an Exemplary episode that fits well with this song because a) they had time to make this plan, which means they would have time to say goodbyes and be ~intimate~ abt it, and b) the hug towards the end when Cas casually says "I could go with you," offering to DIE alongside Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

shut the door, turn the light off. i wanna be with you, i wanna feel your love. i wanna lay beside you. i cannot hide this, even though i try.

trembling hands touch skin, it makes this harder. and the tears stream down my face

if we could only have this life for one more day. if we could only turn back time

i’ll be your life, your voice, your reason to be. my love/my heart is breathing for this moment in time. i’ll find the words to say before you leave me today.

don’t wanna be without you

there’s a pile of my clothes at the end of your bed as i feel myself fall, make a joke of it all

NO CONTROL // 12x23, "All Along the Watchtower"

this could honestly go anywhere, but i’m placing it in here in the chronology because it’s Cas charging blindly and headfirst into battle with literal Lucifer to protect Dean :) good moment contextually because before Cas ran away to help this woman give birth, he had a pretty cozy domestic life with Dean :) it's important to note that this does get him killed, which does lead to another grieving wife phase for Dean :)

Notable Lyrics:

beside you i’m a loaded gun. i can’t contain this anymore. i’m all yours, i’ve got no control. powerless, and i don’t care it’s obvious. i just can’t get enough of you. the pedal’s down, my eyes are closed

i don’t want to wash away the night before, and the heat where you laid, i could stay right here and burn in it all day

THROUGH THE DARK // 14x14, "Ouroboros"

this is not about the gay gorgon, folks, it's about the Ma'lak Box. Dean is crushed by the responsibility of having to lock himself in a LITERAL box to prevent Michael (the archangel inside his mind) from taking over

Notable Lyrics:

you tell me that you’re hurt and you’re in pain, and i can see your head is held in shame, but i just wanna see you smile again

i’ll be here for you. i will carry you over fire and water for your love. i will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough

i wish that i could take you to the stars. i’d never let you fall and break your heart

you tell me that you hurt, it’s all in vain, but i can see your heart can love again, and i remember you laughing so let’s just laugh again

CHANGE MY MIND // 15x03, "The Rupture"

Dean is being a pissy lil bitch because their child died and Castiel can’t deal with it so he leaves :) there’s a lot of stress in their relationship because they both have horrible communication issues. it boils down to Dean thinking like “i want people to just want to stay instead of leaving. i shouldn’t have to ask for that.” and Cas thinking like “i want people to tell me they want me around. i need that verbalized reassurance.” this is canon :)

Notable Lyrics:

the end of the night, we should say goodbye, but we carry on while everyone’s gone

never felt like this before, are we friends or are we more? as i’m walking towards the door, i’m not sure

if you say you want me to say, i’ll change my mind. ‘cause i don’t wanna know i’m walking away if you’ll be mine. i won’t go

IF I COULD FLY // 15x09, "The Trap"

Dean and Cas have to go to Purgatory to retrieve an Ingredient~ they get separated and the portal is about to close and Dean gets desperate so he gets on his knees and prays to Cas :) closure of 15x03 breakup scene, because Dean says “I should’ve stopped you. You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.” :) Dean cries more than one tear, one of his most vulnerable moments in the show (rivaled only by the scene where he tells his mom he hates her). this scene is viewed by many, including jackles, as Dean's love confession especially because he evidently wanted to say something more to Cas's face but Cas cut him off :)

Notable Lyrics:

if i could fly, i’d be coming right back home to you. i think i might give up everything, just ask me to

i hope that you listen, cause i let my guard down. right now i’m completely defenseless

for your eyes only, i’ll show you my heart. i’m missing half of me when we’re apart. now you know me

WALKING IN THE WIND // 15x18, "Despair" and 15x19, "Inherit the Earth"

“Despair” is the episode where Castiel confesses his love too Dean. Dean says “Why does this sound like a goodbye?” and Cas replies “Because it is.” :) reminiscent of the way their son Jack (who is a mirror to Cas) tells Sam and Dean “I'll be in every drop of falling rain, every speck of dust that the wind blows, and in the sand, in the rocks, and the sea.” :)

Notable Lyrics:

if you’re lost, just look for me. you’ll find me in the region of the summer stars

the fact that we can sit right here and say goodbye means we’ve already won

goodbyes are bittersweet, but it’s not the end. i’ll see your face again and you will find me

yesterday i went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend, but as we raised our glasses to make a toast I realized you were missing.

SOMETHING GREAT // 15x18, "Despair"-15x20, "Carry On"

Cas pov for 18 and Dean pov for 20 :) Cas saying "the one thing I want... It's something I know I can't have." :) and then Dean missing and wanting Cas back after he died, saying to God, "Cas. You gotta bring him back," yet again falling back into bad alcoholism and depression and suicidal ideation :)

Notable Lyrics:

i want you here with me like how i pictured it, so i don’t have to keep imagining

the script was written…i want to rip it all to shreds and start again. one day i’ll come into your world and get it right

you’re all i want, so much it’s hurting

TRULY MADLY DEEPLY // Post-Canon mwah!

This is what it would have been like for Dean in the version of Supernatural that totally definitely does exist, in which Jack brought Cas back to life and Dean and Cas were reunited and Dean tells Cas he loves him too and then they live a domestic and safe life and Dean is still shocked every morning that he wakes up next to the love of his life :)

Notable Lyrics:

i can’t believe that you are here and lying next to me

like all those days and weeks and months i tried to steal a kiss, and all those sleepless nights and daydreams where i pictured this

somehow you kicked all my walls in, so say you’ll always keep me

should i put coffee and granola on a tray in bed, and wake you up with all the words that i still haven’t said? and tender touches just to show yo how i feel, or should i act so cool like it was no big deal?

#i think my sister is probably asleep right now so i'll update yall on her response later #i'm insane i'm so sorry #ej.pdf #spn #for lisa!

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charlie-minion · 5 years

Text

Still unresolved

DISCLAIMER: This is my blog and you’ll find my opinions here. If you don’t agree with me, I invite you to scroll past this post without trying to start an argument because I’m not here to prove who’s right or not. I just want to write meta without having to censor myself because I fear I might offend someone. I will delete any hateful anon messages I get, so you have been warned.

When I started writing meta 7 years ago, nobody knew who I was and my blog had probably 20 followers. I decided to share my own opinion (after reading hundreds of meta posts from other more talented people) because I loved Dean and Cas and there were things about their relationship that NOBODY was talking about at the time, at least not with the perspective I had.

I stopped writing Destiel meta sometime between seasons 12 and 13 because, to me, Destiel became canon around that time. When I say “to me”, I mean that I’m well aware the story hasn’t TEXTUALLY said that Dean and Cas have romantic feelings for each other, but it’s been WAY TOO OBVIOUS to deny it.

In season 8, the relationship between Dean and Cas was finally taken seriously (something that never happened before, at least not with endgame in mind). In season 9, Dean began to be set for a romantic interest while coming to terms with the fact that he could feel both familial and romantic love. In season 10, the codependency was proved to be a major obstacle in Dean’s (and Sam’s) relationships with other people, and we were told subtextually that Dean had feelings he wanted to experience differently (and that, according to him, were probably unrequited). We still didn’t know WHO he had those feelings for.

In season 11, we were subtextually told that a happy ending for Team Free Will was probably the endgame, moving away from Kripke’s original idea (which now we know was Chuck’s idea). We were shown it was possible to settle down with another hunter, someone who understood the life, maybe not marriage, but definitely romantic love, and even retirement.

In season 12, Dean was faced with his biggest fear: LOVE. Giving it without being afraid of losing the person who receives it, and being open to receive it back. He managed to express his love (and all the hate and hurt feelings he repressed) toward his mother, and he got an “I love you. I love all of you” from his best friend. If by this time, people had not been paying attention to how the relationship between Dean and Cas had been progressing, I recommend you read my meta masterpost in chronological order. I have 7 years’ worth of posts!

Let’s remember that Dean knew he had feelings for someone since at least 9x02 when he talked about love… and love. Or if you don’t want to take that moment, then since at least 10x16 when he confessed he had feelings he wanted to experience differently. Or if you’re not a fan of subtext, since at least 11x11 when he was told that he was pining for someone.

Truth is… he had feelings since PURGATORY. Since he realized he could NOT leave that fucking monster land without his angel… his best friend. Are you following? But, because Dean Winchester is not really with the whole love… and love, in 8x17 he confessed his feelings for Cas in the best way he could, with a “We need you. I need you”. And that’s why many of us, meta writers, have a tag for the need vs want conundrum, and for the singular vs plural conundrum.

Maybe Dean needed Cas because he was an angel in season 5 or in season 6, but when he lost Cas in season 7, that shit broke him. So, when they ended up in Purgatory, Dean realized that Cas was not just an ally. He was so much more than that! And don’t even get me started on the ‘WE need you’. I mean, we know Sam cares about Cas a lot, but every time they’ve lost Cas (when Castiel was possessed by Lucifer in season 11 or when Cas died at the end of season 12 and the first 5 episodes of season 13), the one who loses everything is Dean, not Sam.

When did Destiel become canon to me? After Dean’s mourning arc, after his 180 when Cas came back to life and “it’s never too late to start all over again” was playing, after Dean said “I do” to Cas with a cross behind them and they subtextually became married (with a kid).

After that, there was nothing I could say without repeating myself. We couldn’t expect any resolution between Dean and Cas until we reached the final season and I’ve been saying that since season 9 ended. I’ve even said that Dean and Cas will end up together and that if they’re textually made romantic it will be in the last episode(s) of the last season (even though some people had different expectations). If you’ve been following my blog for some time, you probably know I’m not lying about all these things. I’m just giving a summary of what I’ve been saying for 7 freaking years!

The fact that Dean hates it when Cas leaves, I’ve talked about it .https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/102787887207/ill-stay-with-you-because-i-want-to-not-because

The fact that Cas needed Dean to ask him to stay, I’ve talked about it. https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/171578528107/regarding-your-last-post-while-i-agree-that-dean

The fact that Destiel is endgame, I’ve talked about it, too! https://charlie-minion.tumblr.com/post/122136945257/how-would-you-make-destiel-canon-if-you-could-in

So, for the love of Billie (because I’m done with Chuck), enjoy the ride!

The resolution between Dean and Cas DID NOT HAPPEN IN 15X09. Why would you think that something that has been building for SO MANY YEARS would be resolved so easily and so soon, when we still have 11 episodes to go? That’s insane!

HOWEVER,

We got open communication. Dean’s prayer to Cas… beautiful! The tears, the hug, the desperation because he thought that he was going to lose Cas AGAIN!

That, my friends, is PAY OFF for so many years waiting.

And we’re not done yet. Dean was going to say something else and Cas stopped him. That’s storytelling 101.

What was Dean going to say? Can Dean finally overcome his problems with the “I” vs “we” and “need” vs “want” or even… “love”?

Of course he can! That’s still a possibility! The Dean that poured his heart out to Cas like that can do that and more. And that’s the resolution we’ve all been waiting for. But as I said 4 FUCKING YEARS AGO:

That’s for “the show’s final season and the final episodes of it”!

I can’t promise Destiel will be textually romantic by the end of the series, but I’m very happy with where the story is right now and the odds are favorable. What I’m sure of is that Dean and Cas will be together at the end, and if that happens, it’s better to make it canon than to leave it open for interpretation. Am I right? :’D

#supernatural #destiel #deancas #destiel meta #spn spoilers #15x09 #kinda #destiel is endgame #so canon only blind people can't see

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incarnateirony · 4 years

Note

Without maybe putting too fine a point on it, based on your observation of the way the show is headed, do you think we're moving to an ending that separates all of TFW from each other? I know the diverging of Sam and Dean's paths is a big part of their journeys, but do you think that applies to Cas (and even Jack), too? I think of all of them, I'm least clear on what the rest of Cas's journey looks like from here (beyond the Empty-that's pretty clear).

If you watch nothing else of my videos, I suggest taking the time to watch Galactic Grudge and Destiny’s Reflection. It takes about 20 minutes total, requires headphones and 1080P and yes, I understand people with audio processing hurdles or language barriers might struggle a bit but long term it maps out a path that would take several hundred pages or more to map out in text.

That disclaimer out of the way as to why I’ve arrived at this destination:

Yes.

Not entirely, nor permanently. Death is nothing to fear. Once they stop fearing death, and especially once they break the system so people aren’t auto-sorted into cages of passivity without their People and Families -- once All of the Heavens function on grand scale like, say, Ash’s bar did -- once humanity has reclaimed the throne/garden. What IS there to fear? That’s the real question.

With the video TLDR spec minded, my hot take:

Whether before or after Cas gets yeeted to the Empty (probably after), he’s due to mirror Rowena’s unbirthing of hell for a long, long list of reasons. Which sure, is her final death. But it wasn’t her end, was it?

But it’s Castiel most definitely arranging a home in which the Winchesters can have peace.

While I see Sam being the one to throw open all the doors of heaven as Chuck did hell and lead a giant MOL resistance through it to TAKE back the throne (another reason I think Cas won’t be until after the Empty, because taking heaven back is one thing but actually stabilizing it in all the omens of what happens if God disappears or w/e is another -- we’re talking 15.20 here) (also a note, berens wrote 12.22 as a two parter alongside Dabb for 23, and Dabb also wrote Inside Man where the Bobbies revolt), Cas is probably the one going to end up with that throne. Very loosely.

Because they can’t just throw it to their kid and put the weight of the world on his shoulders, it doesn’t break anything. And Rowena has gone from Cas foil to Cas mirror over the years, and even as far as, say, The Things We Left Behind -- much less later Funeralia when she actually MEANT IT, or anything else to follow -- it’s about regret over a child that our stupid battles pretty much condemned. Sam and Dean also have a foot in this story pond but it most centrally belongs to Cas.

So while Cas chases the path of the goddess (Mary, Rowena, Amara), and Sam subverts the allfather he was tied to this season (John, Chuck and yes, even histories of Dean himself), where is Dean? Well one, Dean’s always been tied to someone fans aren’t asking enough questions about right now: Death. Who is very, very prominent this year, and I think everyone has to go rewatch Two Minutes To Midnight right now, too. Focus on more than the pizza or even “one day I’ll reap god, too”. Just focus on it all. Hell, focus on the inversion of Death finding them inconsequential to them being important. Focus on it all.

Dean has emotionally lensed parts of Chuck’s pillar this season, but that’s not really HIS, that’s what Sam was directly tied to. Dealing with daddy issues has always been a Dean thing, and part of his residual anger and hurt are what drove him and Cas apart this year, so the Chuckmara mirroring he kinda filled that emotional slot, sure. But his mytharc positioning, I’m gonna need everybody to think about that.

Dabb has spent like, 2 years teaching people that it’s fine to let go in a mature way and process your grief. Both Sam and Jack got passed a philosopher’s stone in order from Dean to Cas to (cursed aeonchild), once in 15.09 and once in 15.13. The magenta light of death is on both Dean and Cas, but largely avoids Sam, and Jack after his rebirth, while they stand over the christchild in place of Joseph and Mary.

Be it Swan Song “I can’t keep treating you like a kid anymore; you’re a grown--well, overgrown--man”, to modern “But now... you are a grown man, and I am incredibly proud of you”; it’s recognition of the child as a man. Be it Dean’s 12.22 “I saw you. Back there. You’re ready for this.” -- be it John’s “What next?” while moving on. Be it “go, mom, be happy.” be it even when she died, and they thought of bringing her back, “I saw your mother’s heaven. And she is. Happy. She’s... with John. And there’s no hurt, there’s no pain, guilt. Just joy.”

Sam’s place is on earth. His chance to have a home. A family. Dean... Dean has a family. And sure, Sam does as part of that family. But to even be a head of a home. To HAVE a wife. And a son. To finish leaving behind his legacy. Dean... has his I’m sorry.

So let’s play a game, presuming relinquishing the angel’s hold on heaven is done. Saving Cas from the empty is done. But Cas is sitting on that heaven throne while they all look different ways on what to do. Sure, Jack could revive Sam and Dean and bring them back to earth even if Cas is stuck glued to heaven like Rowena is hell. But if Dean’s done his duty AND is proud of his brother beyond duty, if the monsters are all but taken care of short of some stragglers Sam’s legacy system with Eileen can clean up. And ultimately... someone still needs to raise Jack, yes-- what does that give us?

I saw you. You’re ready for this. Now, you’re a grown-- overgrown-- man. I can’t treat you like a kid anymore.

It’s okay, dadmom. You fought for me, raised me, loved me. That’s enough. Go. Be happy. I’ve got him.

So back to “Dabb’s Dark Side of the Moon, Ash bar, megascale”, well. I’m gonna say. They’re gonna need a good hand on deck for that dream to let people find their people, to find their heaven, hell, to decide if they haven’t found their people yet and go back and try again.

It’s not goodbye, it’s I’ll See You Later. Because there’s still parts of earth they can make better. Every day they can make it better. And once Sam has his life, full, he can and would rejoin them all, in heaven. Be that wayfarer bars or toes in the sand, a world where people, families--they’re just as real there as they are on earth, able to make their perfect worlds. Dean and yes, Cas, can go and make that world even ahead of Sam-- with John, and Mary, and whatever old friends they choose to see again. And Sam, and Jack -- and Eileen -- can live on earth. Because for years Dean has wanted Sam to have a life. And die old of something normal and have a kids and grandkids. Trial and Error (Dabb), anyone.

The issue is letting go without it either being suicidal ideation of destructive sacrifice. And I think that’s the framework we’re going to be delivered.

Could I be wrong, sure I guess, I’m human. But as of right now, that’s what I see.

Cas has always wanted to bring his People home. But who have his People become? While yes, being seated in that chair gives chance to make things right with a few remaining angels he would no doubt give a chance, humans reclaiming the garden and planet from the divine they surrendered it to (Hammer of the Gods, Dabb, if you read between the lines on the Billions of pagan gods), or reversing various sealings (Clip Show, Dabb, if you pay attention to how and why EACH WORLD WAS MADE TO BEGIN WITH and how many Falls there have been and WHY THE TABLETS EXIST TO BEGIN WITH), whatever. It wouldn’t really be about establishing authority--and in the end, I’m fairly certain the Castiel seated in that throne would be irrevocably human. Because it’s the human soul that’s immortal. Be it using his grace to establish a spell and reversing elements like in Sacrifice, or tied into the angel blood and human heart theme that’s screaming at us this year-- that’s pretty much where I see Cas ending up.

So Dean and Cas separate off to heaven in one way, Sam and Jack another, but still fated to come back together. Sam will have Eileen waiting for him. And Jack to raise.

Because the point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. And when they’re gone, it WILL hurt. But that hurt will be a reminder of how much you love them. But learning to let go -- it’s a part of growing up.

I’ve seen you. You’re ready for this. I can’t keep treating you like a kid anymore. You’re a grown, overgrown, man, and I am incredibly proud of you.

Go, be happy.

“See you on the other side.”

If people can’t watch my vids and pull anything out of it, my second note is to go do a Dabberens rewatch. Pull up Dabb and Berens eps on superwiki, make yourself a chain. I WILL note most of 6 and 7 has been seemingly obsoleted by Dabb, which should surprise none of us with all the ball punches at season 7 he does, so if you wanna save yourself a few hours, feel free to bypass. Season 10 also seems to have been addressed in season 14, and everything after that is the onset of Dabb era, so once you get to season 11 (where Carver and Dabb were sharing) and/or 12 (where Dabb took over entirely), just do a straight run. I also won’t blame you for bypassing Bloodlines.

But if you do truncate 6/7, and a few eps, I suggest replacing them with the finale of each season (4-14, 6 and 7 pretty much already addressed last year), because Dabb still heavily employs those whether they were his own or not. Before Carver came back Dabb was sitting in the upcoming showrunner slot even during Gamble era. Dude has been primed and paying attention for a long fucking time. Absolutely 0% of people should have been surprised at Dabb inheriting the show when he did. And he’s been telegraphing his ideas for this show for years. Notice how many eps I cited above have Dabb’s pen all over it.

It’s where my headspace already was but damn if it doesn’t put Dabb and Dabberens’ direction in scale.

So for all my talk of philosopher’s stone and Death and all of that, if you can’t bring yourself to wade through all 20 minutes of Grudge-Reflection, I ask you to at least think on symbolism here

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samclownchester · 4 years

Text

The day is June 15 2020

The time is 3 am

The situation is that the world has fallen into a pandemic of Covid-19, and my job closed down in March, leaving me with lots of time on my hands. Despite my doubts, I fell back into Supernatural, deep into it, and I am now rewatching it. I thought it would be fun to try and see how much I could remember from earlier seasons before I watch them all

I have watched up to 1x14 at this point, so those episodes are fresh in my mind, but lets see what else I remember

Season 1

“Dad’s on a hunting trip, and he hasn’t been home in a few days”

“Saving people, hunting things, the family business”

Sam’s girlfriend dies just like his mom did

Their dad is the point of the season but is only actually in like 3 episodes

Sam and Dean break up but get back together

Sam has VISIONS and moves things with his MIND

Meg is a demon, Sam has a bit of a crush on her

They find their dad, but don’t kill the demon

colt

Season 2

Dean dies in a car crash, John sells his soul for him and dies

Bobby Singer is best dad

Ellen and Jo and Ash exist

Purple Nurple

Gordon?

Lots of psychics! Sam can make friends??

Jk, it’s the hunger games

Sam gets stabbed in the back

Dean sells his soul for him

They kill Azazel I think??

“I have … demon blood in me?”

Season 3

Saving Dean from his demon deal

Groundhog day episode where Dean dies everyday

Gabriel?? (trickster)

Blonde Ruby (let’s hear it for Laurel Lance!)

Very short because there was a writers’ strike that year

Hell hounds

Season 4

Dean was “gripped tight and raised from perdition” by Castiel

Sam has a new gf! (Surprise, it’s Ruby in a new body! :o)

Why does she pretend to not know Dean when he first shows up? Is she lying to Sam about who she is this whole time?? Hmmm I wish I remembered

Time travel?? (Sam doesn’t get to come ☹ )

Demon blood

Demon blood detox ☹

Let’s kill Lilith

“Because it had to be you Sam”

“The boy with the demon blood”

Season 5

Dean is the Michael sword

Sam is messed up, trying to quit demon blood

Cas rebelled, and he did it, all of it, for Dean

Adam Winchester is a person who exists

Also I think this is the season with Jesse the antichrist who never shows up again it’s fine.

He only existed so they could have important conversations about nature vs nurture which honestly they should’ve just saved from when Jack was born but they didn’t know that was gonna happen

More time travel??

Future

Cas likes drugs

Team Free Will

Samifer

Fall into the cage

Dean goes to live with Lisa and Ben

The end?

Season 6

Cas is working with Crowley and spying on Dean but not talking to him like the pining idiot that he is

Dean can’t help but inspect monster happenings in town

Soulless!Sam

Dean finds Soulless Sam

Hanging out with some old dude?

Get Sam’s soul back

Meet Death?

Find out Cas is working with Crowley

O: Ultimate betrayal

???

Season 7

Leviathans

Godstiel?? Why?? Idr

Hallucifer

Please give Sam therapy

Sam goes to an asylum

Cas takes Sam’s trauma??

More leviathans

Dick?

Charlie!

Kevin!

Garth? Did we know him before. Idk, we know him now

Dean and Cas go to purgatory!

When does Cas die and walk into the lake? That’s before they go to Purgatory, right? Hmmmm but how does he come back

Cas is Emmanuel and has a wife? Is that in this season?

Season 8

Dean gets out of purgatory!

But no Cas

Sam had a girlfriend and a dog! Nice!

Not nice, he ignored Kevin and didn’t look for Dean

Like they agreed on, but whatever ok sue him for trying to be happy

Dean has a vampire boyfriend

Not so high and mighty about killing every monster are we now, huh Dean?

Right? I don’t remember, this is a conversation that happens though

He does end up killing Benny though, doesn’t he? huh

Cas is back from Purgatory! But he’s got Secrets ™

“I’m gonna become a hunter”

Then he stays in the old folks home and next time we see him he’s all wacky and likes to watch the bees?

Megstiel

You’re just playing sorry

Am I right?? I don’t remember, but all of this happens at some point

Who even is the big bad? What are we fighting? Idk

Oh we have to save Kevin from Crowley and he reads the demon tablet. Only eats hotdogs, doesn’t shave. I love him please keep him safe.

Spoilers, they don’t

Right! The trials, Sam does the trials, they “purify” him

The angels fall, but Sam doesn’t complete the trials and almost dies.

Season 9

Sam almost dies, Dean is like “right, nonconsensual possession is clearly the best answer for this”

Human!Cas, he drinks lots of water. Steve.

§ “you can’t stay here” :o

Abaddon I think?? What was the point

Crowley is sort of our friend now and I think we meet Rowena? Idr

Kevin dies ☹

“What is the upside to me being alive” – Sam

§ Maybe in this season, maybe not. Who knows?

Cas is a cannibal (eats grace) and becomes and angel again at some point

§ Hannah exists

We all hate Metatron

Cain??

Metatron stabs Dean and Sam puts his dead body on the bed

Demon!Dean

Season 10

Demon!Dean and Crowley are living it up!

Sam and Cas try to cure Dean

Charlie and Rowena interact a lot I think

Book of the Damned

When did they find the bunker? Men of Letters? All that? Idr, anyway they have it at this point

Dean kills lots of people

Charlie dies ☹

Dean blames Sam which is unfair and I hate it

They get the mark off and The DarknessTM is release

Season 11

The Baby episode exists

Really weird sexual tension between Dean and Amara while she’s still kind of a child, no one knows why. Please stop.

Cas gets called expendable and then makes poor life decisions

Lbr, though, Misha is the only other one who can play Lucifer with the same spirit as Mark Pellegrino. Sorry Jared, it’s the truth.

Eileen!! <3

Chuck is God :o

Let’s kill Amara!

Except we don’t kill her, she just needs to bond with her bro.

Here, have your mom back

Season 12

Mom????

British Men of Letters

Lucifer F*cks

Boy I didn’t think this would turn into what it did, let me tell you

Winchesters escape from Federal Prison

Cas says “I love you”

But like, the plural you. No homo.

Sam admits he lost his drive to lead, then finds it again and leads hunters against the dang brits! Hooray!

Oh shoot Lucifer wants custody of his kid!

FIGHT

Fatality – Castiel

Fatality – Mary

Oh no wait she didn’t die she’s just trapped.

Season 13

Jack jack jack jack jack

3 dads, all at various levels of dadding

Actually 2 excellent dads, one dad who is too emotionally damaged to dad but he tries sometimes

Yeah Cas pisses of a cosmic entity. That won’t come back to bite him

Jack just wants to be good

Wayward sisters was not picked up which sucks

Apocalypse world

Rowena is our friend now

Custody Battle!!! Who wins? Not Lucifer

We saved the day! And a ton of people

Literally they made a whole deal of the people being like “We won’t leave our home or our cause” and then they got back to Sam and Dean’s world, didn’t have archangel grace and were just like “meh, actually this place is cool. We don’t have to worry about going back”

Psych! We’re not done yet! Luci wants his kid

And Michael wants his planet

Season 14

Michael! Dean

Jack dies

But it’s ok, we fixed you, just don’t use your powers

Oh shoot he used his power

Nick is somehow alive

In love with Lucifer

Burn his ass!!

Oh Mary disapproves

RIP Mary

RIP Dean being a father, now he’s gonna murder

Hi Chuck, nice of you to show up

Oh no.

Season 15

Chuck sucks

Dean and Cas break up ☹

Sam has visions again

But he’s not psychic, it’s just the piece of his soul inside Chuck

Resurrect your girlfriend! Yeah!!

Jack is eating hearts, but it’s ok, Death told him to do it.

Garden of Eden?

Get your soul back boy!

And cry

Honorable mentions (Aka these happened but idr when)

Sam falls in love with a werewolf and then has to kill her and MAN Jared really brought the tears

AU where Supernatural is a TV show

Finding out Supernatural is a book series and the author is Chuck!

Crowley becomes helpful mostly

Crowley has a son??

Meet grandpa

Ellen, Jo, and Ash die

Bobby dies

literally everybody dies

Kill Hitler

They meet that Jewish guy with the Golem who pretended to flirt with Dean at some point.

Jimmy Novak was a devout man who deserved a lot better than he got

Claire Novak is so cool

She moves in with Jody

When do we meet Jody? She’s just always kinda been there?

Gabriel, I don’t remember anything about Gabriel

The council of the Gods’ happens and then I think Gabriel dies in that episode?? Idr

The Four Horsemen

Death, Pestilence, War, Famine

“You’re not hungry Dean”

I literally do not remember what was happening with these guys

Also, they killed Death, killed a reaper, that reaper became the new Death. I remember when all that happened I just didn’t feel like putting it in the timeline.

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vvivacious101 · 5 years

Text

Here We Go Again!

This episode is amazing. I loved it, so so much. I think it might be my favourite so far. Hands down, loved it. For an episode which is definitely incomplete it is just amazing how much I loved it.

Spoilers ahead!

First off, this is definitely a two parter, we end on a cliffhanger and in Sam’s case that is quite literal. So the story will only get completed after we finally get to watch 15x09 which I am now incredibly hyped for. This episode set up so many interesting things that I can’t even get mad about the fact that I am facing down a mini-hellatus before we finally see how the events in this episode end. It was just so good. I’m in love.

I love Donatello, he made for some really funny times. I love him so much, I don’t even know why, but his reluctant participation really puts into perspective how dangerous the situations the Winchesters just go headlong into are.

That scene with the Sam, Dean and Cas just observing him was so funny. I mean all the scenes with him were so funny. I loved it.

Next up Michael and Adam. Okay, I definitely wanted closure for Adam. He was one of those nagging loose ends that just wouldn’t quit. From my perspective Adam was just always in a bad situation and I agree with his decision to choose his Mom over Sam & Dean, people he had barely met. I mean for someone on the outside it is hard to tell who to trust and it’s hard to think of angels as bad, what with all the publicity surrounding them. So, Adam has always been of interest to me and having him mentioned in 10x05 was good because I knew the writers would put that issue to bed before the show ended. I actually loved Adam in this one but what I wasn’t prepared was for Michael.

Michael blew me away. I’m Team Michael from now on. Michael has always been a Dean mirror but he just had to go through accelerated character development to get on the same footing. I actually sympathized with him, he believed in God, wholly and he didn’t loose faith with all his years in the Cage. I mean he comes out of 10 Hell years of imprisonment still believing that he was doing what God wanted. He still had faith in God, something that all the angels seem to have lost and now Michael has to face the fact that is Father has numerous versions of himself all geared up to kill their very own brother. He wasn’t anybody special, hell, he wasn’t even the only one. As Cas says he was just a small part of a story of which he wasn’t even the star.

Man, Michael and Adam really messed me up this episode. Jake Abel was so good in switching characters, like he would go from being Adam to Michael and back in consecutive sentences. It was amazing.

We have Eileen being a total badass and Sam being a helicopter parent which causes some tension between them. Dean has already given his stamp of approval to their relationship but I feel like Sam’s reluctant. Someone pointed it out that Sam seems to be gearing to putting Eileen down gently when Cas interrupts. Something I feel is a very valid interpretation because I feel like Sam is feeling a little too over-protective if Eileen to see her as a partner. He is so busy trying to make sure he doesn’t have to deal with another death, that he is literally holding his breath when it comes to Eilleen. And well, it definitely didn’t take long for things to go sideways as Sam and Eilleen now face down Chuck.

Dean and Cas were *whew*. There was just so much happening in this episode and I haven’t even gotten to Rowena yet. So we have Cas healing Dean after Dean bleeds out to complete a spell that will take them to Hell, even when Dean is still being outright rude to Cas, like what is it with Dean and sending Cas to Hell. Wait, I get it now, it’s a subliminal message. Then we have them both getting called out by Rowena, all hail the Queen of Hell, which is so epic because it means there is tension and other people are picking up on it. Sam does get a furrowed brow when Dean is basically telling Cas to go to hell but he doesn’t comment on it, so it was nice to have it brought out in the open.

We also have Dean confront Cas after he shows Micheal the truth and it is such a stilted conversation with nobody looking into anybody eyes that it’s almost hard to decipher who these two even are when they can’t look each other in the eye, but the ending. Oh God! The ending slayed me. Apparently Dean and Cas are going to Purgatory. Whch makes me want to scream with joy because if that isn’t a call back to the most Destiel-centric season ever than I don’t know what is. Dean and Cas find themselves back in Purgatory on a 12 hour mission with Sam facing down Chuck, God, is it weird that I’m so excited about Purgatory. I mean what is with Dean and Cas anyway, Hell is their meet-cute and Purgatory is their first dance, what is up with these locations?

And Rowena is back. Well, she is still dead but she is the Queen of Hell and in a weird turn of events seems to have succeeded her own son.

God, just knowing that Dean’s prayer to Cas is going to come at the end of tromp to Purgatory together is like a guaranteed squee-fest for me over the next four weeks. I literally can’t wait to watch 15x09.

Thoughts as I watched the episode:

1. Supernatural sure knows how to make a point. I can already tell Chuck is the monster.

2. Wow, Eileen is BADASS.

3. Cas making my day with his first appearance.

4. DONATELLO!! I'm so absurdly happy!

5. Sam and Cas are so funny keeping a watch on Donatello. I forgot he went crazy the last time he did this.

6.This animosity needs to end. I love Sam's furrowed brow, somebody's confused. How do they all not remember that Michael is not in Hell anymore? Every door in Hell was snapped open during the rupture, the event not the episode. Belphegor told you this, Dean.

7. We are back where Cas had to kill Belphegor in Jack's body.

8. Are any of us winning? Doesn't look like it Dean.

9. Oh my God! It's Rowena.

10. Hail the Queen of Hell!!

11. “Amazon doesn't deliver here... Yet.” Truer words have never been spoken.

12. Go Donatello! He has consistently been making my day!

13. Wings Whooshing! God, I have missed that sound.

14. Bad ass entrance by the Winchesters.

15. Castiel what have you done? Don't we all want to know.

16. Oh My God! SENDING Dean and Cas to Purgatory!! I don't know what's happening!!!!

This is, this is, what is happenin???

Dean and Cas are headed to Purgatory. I feel like jumping up and down with happiness. God this, this, this is it. It is so pointed. Urgh...

I can't even focus on God screwing with Sam again like I just can't.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural 15x08 #our father who aren't in heaven #sam #dean #cas #destiel #eileen #donatello #adam #michael #chuck #rowena #Queen of Hell #myposts #supernatural season 15

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verobatto · 5 years

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Castiel's loyalty

Destiel meta/Castiel meta/Dean's meta

14x18 ABSENCE spoiler

Hello my friends, another promo edited that caught us, isn't? Let me just side eye the CW 😒...

Ok, I just wanted to write about Cas and his loyalty, and the scene we just saw between Castiel and Dean. Knowing this was a Mary Winchester centric episode, there was just a couple of shades, interesting shades, to analyze.

Let's start...

The guilt... And the guilt...

I want to point here first scene at the phone.

When Castiel is asking about Mary and Jack, we can appreciate the guilt in Dean's gaze.

This is important for what was about to happen when Sam and Dean recognized they knew something was wrong with Jack, but they avoid it. They were "blind", recalling that scene in 14x14 Ouroboros, when Michael made Cas, Sam and Dean blind.

We had Dean stopping abruptly the conversation with Castiel. This time "wasn't good to hear his voice." (14x12).

And the the cabin scene.

In the cabin scene, when Castiel arrives, Dean was giving him his back without watching at him.

Then the desperation and the hurtful words...

The projection of his guilt on Castiel, impotency flew all over the place, and like my friend @agusvedder pointed me, he regrets it immediately, showing that in his face.

But is too late... Because Castiel took that guilt. And his speech about trying to keep safe his family, FAMILY, one of the WINCHESTERS prime values. He learned the lesson, now he needs to make it his own. Beacuse family is work together in good and bad situations. So doing things by himself... He doesn't need to do that anymore. He has his family now.

After this Cas said I FAILED YOU. And I was like... Ok.. back tracking the character here to 12x19. (I wasn't agreed with this because the whole improvement in Castiel's character just felt a little off, maybe a most heated answer it would add more flavor and new airs to the scene... Idk...)

But here is the interesting thing with CAS about human family, maybe and just maybe,he doesn't understand what human family really mean because his angelical nature, and as an Angel he needs to protect the WINCHESTERS no any cost) of any harm or bad news (like his deal with the Empty). Then, he needs to really feel his human family, and he needs to understand HE DOESN'T BEED TO CARRY WITH THE HEIGHT BY HIMSELF.

And the explanation and excuses Sam gave to Dean about Jack probable behavior with the snake, he said "MAYBE HE THOUGHT HE WAS DOING RIGHT. BECAUSE FEELINGS." That could be accurate to Castiel behavior too. Very angelic one.

So the guilt was everywhere, and then it was Sam again who said the things Dean had inside: "WE KNEW. WE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO SEE IT."

And boom... Watching the picture on the wall in Roweena's place, when Dean was figuring out his guilt and the truth he always knew... That picture in green, like a green clouds covering a centric little red cloud. And wasn't casual Dean stoop up just right in front of it, and his head covered the red color, letting a beautiful green aura surrounding his head. Healing!Dean calming Toxic!Dean, after he mentioned Cas with anger again. Sam spoke truth... Healing!Dean was back, and he sat on a blue couch. He wasn't mad at CAS anymore.

Dean, again using the wrong words to Castiel.

I will put here my meta about how Dean can't speak truthfully to Castiel because his feelings for him, because is relevant again with tonight episode.

When Dean said "If something happened to mom, You are dead to me." Is nothing but guilt projection.

This famous misscomunication is translated into the visual narrative with the picture in Roweena's place as I said before, and the blue couch, and with Castiel in the park, there was red and blue.

Castiel's loyalty

Dean gives Castiel another mission, Castiel took it because as always, he needed to do something to redeem himself with Dean (another call back to season 7, 8 and 12). But it caught my attention that Castiel found disrespectful words in his other family too, with the dialogue he has with Dumah. And this time the dead Winchester stayed dead, because she was in a better place. And it was very sad, because by the beginning of this same episode, Sam and Dean were celebrating another "MIRACULOUS SALVATION Of the WINCHESTERS.

When Castiel came back to the bunker he found Sam and he sat in front of him to give him the news. He doesn't wait for Dean, he doesn't ask for Dean neither. He knows things are not ok with him.

But then we had Dean standing there at the door, not entering and just listening to CAS. He knows too he did wrong, and he is feeling maybe a little guilty and ashamed.

Gif credit @shirtlesssammy

Then... Castiel's loyalty sharing the Pain with the boys... He tried to.comfort and maybe talk with Dean, but Sam stopped him. A parallel with 14x08 in which Dean stopped Castiel to comfort Sam. The difference? The touches. Sam and Castiel as family and friends. And Dean and Castiel more intimate touches.

Gif credit @shirtlesssammy

To conclude

We had a heated fight with the same misscomunication on the air, Dean violent reaction in front of his own guilts and impotency, projecting in Cas, the one that is always by his side, his failures.

Castiel receiving this and trying to explain again why he wanted to do things by himself because he still needs to comprehend how human family works.

Sam was indirectly the nexus between Dean and Castiel. And I loved how his improvement of character shown in this episode, but I will talk about this in my TFW meta.

So... Do we need THE TALK yet? Yes we need it, more than ever... Just wait and see...

Tagging @metafest @gneisscastiel @mrsaquaman187 @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @agusvedder @weirddorkylittlediana @michyribeiro @castiellover20 @whyjm @koshisekisen @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @cheerstofandomfamily @drsilverfish @savannadarkbaby @angelneedshunter @trickster-archangel @dea-stiel @mybonsai1976 @hippyatheart80 @anarchiana

Bueno Aires April 12nd 2019 12:52 AM

#supernatural meta #14x18 meta #14x18 spoiler #absence #destiel meta #castiel meta #dean meta

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 4 years

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Well, I don’t have anything else to do tonight, so I’ll dive in my Safari bookmarks. I used Safari before using Chrome, so these are older than 2016. This is going to be a trip.

- videos that are no longer available

- literally the tumblr dashboard

- a large amount of posts from a blog that either changed their url or doesn’t exist anymore

- a 404 page

- a “related links” page

(I’m sensing a pattern.)

- “There’s nothing here”

- what seems to be a Chinese store of chest binders

- “Unfortunately, our website is currently unavailable in most European countries”

- an article about Pope Francis meeting a trans man

- The Body Shapes Of The World’s Best Athletes Compared Side By Side, really interesting especially in light of certain recent accidents where men were criticized for having... healthy muscular bodies

- a few old articles from 2015 or older

- Chandra X-Ray Observatory (pictures taken by the space telescope)

- science stuff

- a livejournal fic that now looks like this

- more links to nothing. This was more exciting in my mind.

- Destiel fics I am sure I have in my ipad but never read, or maybe I did

- the Humans Of New York site

- absolutely random tumblr posts

- The Forgotten Female Programmers Who Created Modern Tech

- more dead links, more dead links, more dead links

- articles on lgbt+ issues and mental health issues that feel definitely old, funny how 5 years can be a lot

- AWWW ANCIENT CATWS CONTENT THIS IS SO CUTE

- ew did you know the Allies purposely framed the liberation of Paris as a “white only event”

- oops, vines

- early season 10 meta. Damn I miss the high meta times

- asdfghjkl the beginnings of “what if Cas is Dean’s Colette” ahsjsjskj

- Events(TM) have retroactively changed perceptions of things but season 10 was so much fun to experience in its course

- guess what! a lot more dead links

- whoa Deviant Art has visually changed so much since when I used it lol I didn’t even recognize it at first

- remember when catcalling was one of the most discussed issues in the US? What happened? Did it stop or...?

- you have no idea how many broken tumblr links I have on this browser lmao

- ASDFGHJKL HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF PRAYER AND MIRACLES, THE SECOND WILDEST HARRY POTTER FANFICTION

- more season 10 meta...

- essays I looked up for my thesis and didn’t actually use lol

- WAIT THIS IS SEASON 9 META we’re going even older

- more resources for my thesis I never used

- Redbubble, Storenvy - not that I ever bought anything, it requires money, can you believe

- the anime Free, which I started but I abandoned at some point because I found it boring lol

- japanese emoticons

- a sock store

- damn past me really wanted a thigh bag. Now I want a thigh bag again.

- a broken link but from the url it would seem a guide to the MCU movies lmao we’re in 2014 people I haven’t watched the MCU yet

- nevermind the next broken link is labeled ‘stucky fics’ we are in 2015 but at the very beginning of my MCU experience

- someone’s Marvel tag, see, the very beginning :’)

- the DeanCas Big Bang happened on LiveJournal...

- I saved a bunch of links from Andy//Than//Fiction’s blog ew lol

- very old articles on misogyny, antisemitism etc

- bunch of Destiel fics

- the trailer for Misha’s TSA America videos lmao

- we’re solidly in 2014 and it shows

- I... it is possible that I saved a Bucky gifset from CATWS before watching the movies?? There are a couple gifsets from CATWS but according to my calculations I haven’t started watching the MCU yet? Or maybe I am right during this period. Yeah I think so. I’m watching the MCU guys :’)

- I feel a little sad deleting all these links to meta posts because I don’t know how many of these I could find if I hypothetically searched for them again, but I have to let them go lmao they’re six years old and I haven’t read them in this time, so

- damn, a blog whose most recent post is from 7 years ago

DAMN YOU PAST ME WHY DID YOU PUT SO MANY BOOKMARKS IN ONE FOLDER THERE’S NO END TO THEM ASDFGHJKL

- http://you.regettingold.com

Oops it’s almost 1 am I’ll continue tomorrow...

#blabbering me #bookmark adventures

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missjackil · 6 years

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Reasons I Like Season 14

Im not going to say its my favorite season, yet. As with every season I dont usually judge it till its coming to an end, and usually that makes ealier episodes make more sense, or have more meaning. I honestly cant look back on any season, and say it impressed me that much before the mid season come back, which this season, has totally blown me away since it’s come back from winter break!

If you’re interested in what I like the most about this season, please continue.

Michael/ Dean: I see a lot of you complaining its gone on too long, but the funny thing is, you were all the same people who complained before the season that they better not drop it early like Demon Dean, and complained that it got “dropped” in the 2nd episode (which of course, it didnt) I like that it moves. It’s not just Dean being possessed. I wouldnt have liked dealing with Dean not being Dean for very long, and yet, we have gotten to see quite a bit of Michael Dean, while allowing us to still have Dean. It moved from “Where did Michael go?” to a brief repossession, and now Michael is in Dean’s walk-in cooler of his mind.

Contrary to popular belief, Dean telling Mike to get out, and him not leaving, isnt breaking canon, nor is it a retcon, in fact, its something we never learned the answer to. How to expell an Archangel. Archangels are more powerful than Angels, and we never did see how Lucifer got out of Sam, and we know Amara removed Lucifer from Cas. So, it’s in fact new territory in which they (the writers) can write canon for, instead of using old canon to try to stick by. I also like that even though Michael has been at least mentioned in every episode (as it should be) its not been the entire focus of many episodes.

The Nice Sam Curve Ball: Before this season started, we were told we would see Sam as a leader. Being like a General with the AU hunters to find Dean. And we did get that, and we got a BAMF Sam in the season premier that was impressive enough to scare the smoke out of demons! However, they never warned us that Sam would be an emotional powder keg all season, just waiting to explode. He’s been sleepless, not eating right, biting his nails, holding back tears more often than not since the first episode. The level of emotions we got from Sam just in Bzantium when Jack died, was more emotions than we had from him in a very long time. His grief over Jack nearly distracted me from his worry about Dean, which, to my surprise, made a raging come back!

The last 3 episodes, Sam held nothing back! Which I am grateful for. He’s never displayed more emotion, for a longer period of time in the history of the show. He wasnt even this broken up about Dean’s pending eternity in Hell in S3, and at the time THAT was a fate worse than death. He hid his angst more quietly in S11 when Dean volunteered to be the Soul Bomb. So this is a big middle finger to all of you out there that think the show has forgotten, or is trying to break down the brother bond 😎💖and Jared acted it perfectly and made me sob, 3 weeks in a row.

The 300th: I honestly though it would be tough to follow the episode before it and thought I might be let down, but thank Chuck I was not!! It was wonderful and I loved every minute even upon watching it 6 times so far! It became my favorite episode, bumping Who We Are and Swan Song into tied for 3rd place, while Lebanon took 1st and Prophet and Loss takes 2nd. If you can set the bar higher for my top episodes, twice in a season, you’re doing a good job.

#Brolove : This season has had much more of it than any other season,Even the weakest episode of the season, Optimism, had Sam chewing his nails worried about Dean. Overall though, this season has been swimming in it. From Sam’s grief beard, to welling with tears as Dean described the possession, to Mint Condition which was overwhelmingly adorable, and full of canon wincest itself, that the Hellers wouldnt shut up about it on Twitter LOL. Some less interesting episodes like The Scar and Nightmare Logic, still had Dean being very supportive and proud of Sam’s leadership, and being worried about Sam not sleeping enough, in which Sam volunteers to sleep even less, just to help Dean.

This to me was great in and of itself, but we come back Sam being the only one who can snap Dean out of his dream. Then a sneaky, yet surprisingly intimate new hug from behind, an I Love You and Sam loosing his cool about Dean’s plan, and a tearful agreement to help. just so Dean doesnt do this alone. Then there was nowhere that wasnt full throttle brolove in Prophet and Loss, and my big hulking BAMF Moose crumbling into a terrified 8 yr old with a death grip on his big brother (Cries) and in addition to all the fabulous of Lebanon, we have a beatiful brolove scene as they wash dishes together and Dean tells Sam he’s good with who he is, and who Sam is too. And I think Sam has always wanted to hear that. Theres no way that hand hold was unintentional

Destiwho? There hasnt been one single nod or shout out or D*stlel moment all season long. This cant be said of any season since 4. Even S13 that lacked moments severely, still had Dean being depressed and feeling better when Cas came back, and a Dean/Cas hug. So far, this season has nada,zip, goose eggs., 13 episodes with no ship pandering?? Instant brownie points. Hellers are back to looking for seekret klues again in every episode 😜😁

Im sure when the show returns after this break, the drama will be lessened. But I think we’ll still get 3 really good eps in the last 7 and some more epic brolove. So I hope any of you reading this will take a little appreciation in these truths and think “Yeah, its not the worst season ever thats for sure”

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #season 14 #spoilers #show love #brolove #sam and dean forever

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daemoniumsanguine-blog · 6 years

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SPN Questionnaire

Tagged by: @beautifullyxbrxken

***

1. When did you start watching Supernatural?

I don’t remember exactly, but it was sometime when either season 4 or 5 were currently airing? My mom got super into it and she started watching it every day so I’d catch bits and pieces of it until I finally decided to watch it from the beginning. I caught up just before season 6 started and I’ve been watching the new eps with my mom ever since.

...Fun fact the first thing I saw of Supernatural was part of that ep where Sam, Dean, and John go after a group of vampires and from the small part I saw I thought Sam and Dean were the bad guys c’:

2. Who is your favorite in TFW?

I LOVE THEM ALL... but if I had to pick it’d be Sam ;;

3. Who is your least favorite in TFW?

They’re my sons I refuse to pick a least favorite ;;

4. Tag your top 5 Supernatural blogs.

tbh I stayed far away from the Supernatural fandom until I very recently caved and made this blog so I don’t know too many Supernatural blogs c’:

5. Who is your favorite character (not including TFW)?

Either Bobby or Jody! I hate that every time Jody appears I spend the whole ep fearing for her life, why does this show have to keep killing my faves?

6. Who is your favorite woman in Supernatural?

Jody!! Jo’s a super close second though.

7. John or Mary?

I feel like people would murder me for saying John but he’s such an interesting character? Yeah he’s a shitty dad but he really does mean well

oh wait that’s just like Sam

8. What were your first opinions of Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack?

LISTEN I didn’t know the person they were holding a knife to was a vampire so of course I thought Sam and Dean were evil c’:

I honestly don’t remember my first impression of Cas, but I think my mom showed me some funny scenes with him so I liked him?

JACK... I was so sure Cas was wrong and Jack was going to be the big bad lmao. Now he’s one of my favorite characters and I’m very concerned for him.

9. What’s your favorite season?

Probably 1 or 2? I feel like the writers decided episodic monsters of the week wouldn’t keep viewers interested forever so they kept one-upping their big bads with even bigger bads and that started to get ridiculous after season 5. Then again you can’t really top Lucifer without getting ridiculous c’:

I still enjoy the newer seasons (some more than others) but I do miss how simple things were back in S1-2.

10. What’s your least favorite season?

I...wasn’t a huge fan of God’s evil sister or her having some “connection” with Dean so that whole season kind of bugged me ;;

11. Opinions on Destiel?

It’s probably my favorite ship but it’s also a huge reason why I stayed away from the fandom and feel nervous reblogging Supernatural stuff on my personal blog. The fandom is too obsessed with it and I don’t want people to think I’m one of the toxic fans just because I ship it ;;

And honestly I love Dean and Cas as a familial ship too because those are super important and shouldn’t be treated as “less” than romantic ships.

12. Do you believe Supernatural queerbaits?

Maybe? I think they definitely throw in jokes or teases but I’m not sure I’d go as far to call it queerbaiting. It does bug me they killed Charlie but they kill practically everyone so?

13. Seasons 1-7 or 8-14?

1-7

14. Favorite villain (plot wise)?

Does Crowley count as a villain at this point?

15. Do you think they should end the Lucifer plot line?

Yes c’:

16. Who do you think has gone through more trauma (Sam, Dean, or Cas)?

I feel this isn’t a fair question because the trauma they go through is completely different.

Dean had to deal with his dad selling his soul for him, with being told he might have to kill his brother, and with being tortured in hell for years.

But Sam had to deal with the fact he never really got to apologize to his dad before he died, with being told he had demon blood and that his own brother was thinking of the possibility of having to kill him, with being the reason their mother died, and dealing with the pressure of taking control over Lucifer just so he could drag Lucifer down into hell with him.

If I HAD to pick one I’d probably say Dean, just because I recently rewatched the S5 finale and that look of utter despair and hopelessness on Dean’s face when he thinks Sam lost to Lucifer and that he lost his brother and the world was going to end killed me, but I think both of their trauma is pretty equal.

17. What’s your favorite Supernatural episode?

I think I’d have to go with the one where Dean gets ghost sickness and ends up terrified of everything.

I 18. Do you like case episodes?

They’re usually my favorites!

19. Who do you relate most to in TFW?

tbh Castiel because I, too, am an extremely socially awkward nerd who can’t use a phone and loves Dean Winchester c’:

20. Why do you like Supernatural?

I got into it because of the humor and the episodic monster hunts, but I fell in love with the characters and they’re definitely the reason I still watch Supernatural.

21. If you could bring back one character and kill off another who would they be?

I wanna say Adam, but I have to go with Bobby because as great as AU Bobby is, he’s not the same and doesn’t have the same bond with Sam and Dean that their Bobby had ;;

If I had to kill someone... literally anyone except Jody Lucifer I guess?

Tagging: Uhhh if you’re following me and haven’t done this yet then go for it!!

#outofhunting #mun things #tag games

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ezilyamuzed · 6 years

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There’s no place like home - part 6.

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place during episode 13.18.

Warnings: Language. Flashback are italicized. POV may switch after certain sections.

A/N: This is my awkward part of the story and I apologize. I hadn’t rewatched the episodes yet when I had started posting to mesh these in correctly to the episodes. Dean and Sam would not have left Gabriel. I promise that will not happen again. Additional note that the description of the handling of psychological files is not HIPAA compliant, it just had to work this way for the story. Your therapists are not reading your files at home!

Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

Gabriel was still a beaten and broken man hiding in the darkness of the bunker when they had returned, unwilling to speak or have anyone come close to him. Cas had just arrived, unknowing how bad the situation truly was. Ketch followed Dean on a mission to apocalypse world to find mom and Jack leaving his brother to watch and wait for their return. When Cas had heard what Dean was doing, he was furious at how Sam could let him do that, going into that world practically alone was a suicide mission. When Castiel saw Gabriel huddled in the dark corner of a room in the bunker, the gravity of the situation at hand hit him.

“Where were you Sam, while you left Gabriel alone in this condition?” Castiel demanded.

“There was something we had to take care of Cas,” Sam replied while thinking about those last couple of days.

“Who is Y/N,” Castiel growled while reading Sam’s mind, his eyebrows pushing together in concentration while holding back his fury towards Sam.

“You know I hate when you do that,” Sam replied with an annoyed tone while sitting down in the War room. “She is Bobby’s daughter, Cas. We just found out and well…we had to go and see for ourselves.”

“I understand your reasoning Sam, but you’ve wasted precious time that we did not have,” Castiel replied in a serious tone, not shifting his facial features as he spoke.

“I know Cas. No more distractions,” Sam said solemnly. That was easier said than done. Y/N. The mysterious girl who showed up at one of the worst possible times. Y/N, the girl he needed to push out of his mind and forget. The girl he needed his brother to forget, at least for now. That was going to be the hard part. He saw the way his brother looked at her, he had never quite seen it before. Sure his brother did have the way with the ladies, but this was different. With Lisa his guard was up to protect her and Ben, but with Y/N? It was like they had known each other all their lives the way that they bantered back and forth, it was just so…natural. Saving the world again almost seemed like the easier task now.

_______________________________________________________________

The drive to Lawrence wasn’t as horrible as you had thought it would be. Yes, you were going on only about two hours of sleep from the night before but there was something freeing about being in your baby on the open road again with the wind blowing your hair and the tunes turned up. Everything felt like it was going to be alright for once in a long time.

Almost 7 hours later you found yourself parking in the driveway at your new home. A simple one-story cottage house tucked away in the woods on the outskirts of town, away from the business of people. Just the way you liked it. You allowed yourself to appreciate the change you were about to walk into, your new home. Your new start.

Walking in the front door you sighed heavily at all the boxes and furniture that the movers had left in stacks. You definitely had work to do, but you happily accepted the challenge for the next 5 hours. Setting up all the furniture just right and stacking the unneeded boxes for another night. Except for one. The patient files stored on little flash drives you had collected over the last decade since you were in your doctoral internship. Inside the box, they stayed tucked away within the small safe. You pulled it open to double check that they were all still safely secured, counting them one by one noting the dates of each. One had fallen underneath the couch as you started to place them back carefully in the safe. After pushing yourself to the floor to retrieve it, you glanced at the dates written on it. Something about it made you grab your laptop to open it up, imputing your password to unlock the contents. As you glanced through the initials one stood out in your memory more than the others, C.S., but why? You opened it and sat on the floor with your back against the couch, eyes widening as your past flooded back into your mind.

“Oh, my…Chuck.”

_____________________________________________________________

“Charles Shurley, white male early to mid-30’s complaining of severe headaches, anxiety with paranoia symptoms, insomnia, and vivid nightmares,” you read out loud before grabbing your new patient from the waiting room. You rocked back and forth in your office chair while looking over the intakes notes. “Admits to using alcohol to help himself sleep,” you gave a little scoff as you read it. “Don’t we all buddy.”

You walked out to the waiting room, expecting a somewhat nervous man patiently waiting but what you found was a clearly shaken soul that looked like he was seconds away from jumping out of his own skin. Standing directly to the left of him, a bright glowing light figured with no face. An angel. This guy had a literal, honest to fucking God angel watching over him. You diverted your eyes away from it, not knowing exactly what it was doing here, with this man crumbling in his chair. Angels were unpredictable usually with their own “holy” twisted agendas.

“Charles,” you called out from the doorway.

He jumped up from his seat and followed your lead towards your little corner office that was sparsely decorated for use of other future interns when you left in a month. Honestly, if they hadn’t of been so short staffed at the moment you would be finishing up the termination and referrals for the people you had already been working with, not taking on a new client. The Angel followed him closely behind, you keeping it in the corner of your eye. This was going to be interesting.

The two of you sat down in the somewhat comfy leather chairs, perfectly at the 90-degree angles you were taught they should be in. You crossed your legs as you watched him stare nervously at the ground. The Angel stood guard next to him, unfaltering.

“Charles, I’m Y/N,” you stated while trying to ignore the celestial entity in your office. “Were you informed prior to your consent signing that I am a doctoral student and not a licensed psychologist?”

He nodded his head yes in reply, still focusing on the ground. His hands trembling on his lap. His left foot bouncing off the ground.

“Charles? I will have some general questions for you for assessment purposes, but first, why don’t you tell me why you are here?”

“It’s Chuck actually,” he said while raising his eyes to yours.

“Okay, Chuck,” you politely smiled. “What can I help you with?”

“I’m going to sound crazy. You will probably end up throwing me in a padded room and tossing the key.”

Your gaze moved over towards the celestial being. Being followed by angels, now that was crazy. You shook away your thoughts and gave your best professional tone. “Are you harming yourself or others or have any plan to do so?”

“No,” he replied quickly.

You gave him a little half smile as you sat back a bit farther into the chair, not wanting to piss off his angelic handler by getting too close. “I don’t think there is any reason for that then.”

“You are going to think it’s crazy.”

“I’ve heard a lot of crazy stories Chuck,” you said with a friendly smile, trying to calm down his nerves while thinking of how this situation was definitely in the top 10 of crazy.

He took in a deep breath and straightened himself out in his chair before replying. “I have these dreams. Almost like nightmares. When I wake up I can still remember every detail.”

“Remembering details in one's dreams is pretty common,” you stated in reply. “Sometimes we remember our dreams more because of the memories of events that happen to us during the day prior.”

“Yeah well, I don’t exactly go hunting wendigo’s, vampires, werewolves, and ghosts during the day.”

Your heart and breathing stopped suddenly at his words. What did he just say? Did he just say what you thought he said? You looked at his angelic guard in nervousness. It’s light flickering a yes to your thoughts. This guy is a goddamned prophet.

“You are having dreams about supernatural entities?” you questioned while readjusting yourself to keep your expressions and body movement as calm as you could be.

“Not just them, but also these guys. Brothers and a dad hunting them across the country.”

“Are these individuals perhaps someone you may have met before?”

“No, I’ve never seen them, but in the dreams, I am not exactly interacting with them, more like watching a television show unfold.”

You felt yourself nod in reply. Definitely a prophet. But how much did he know? Did he even believe?

“Are you religious Chuck,” you questioned calmly.

“Like God and that stuff? I mean I know about it but I don’t exactly go to church or anything like that,” he replied in confusion to your question.

“Some people find religion to be an outlet when dealing with stress,” you calmly replied, answering his unspoken question. “So did you have prior knowledge or interest in the supernatural before these dreams started?”

His eyebrows scrunched while contemplating his answer. “I mean, I’ve read Dracula, and I’ve seen the Patrick Swayze movie but other than other that it had never been a hobby of mine.”

“Had never been? So is it now?” you questioned while wondering how far he had dug into the truth.

“After I have a dream, I research some things about it online,” he replied quietly. “Almost everything I dreamt is right there, black and white.”

“So what do you do after?”

“I wake up and start writing it all down,” he said with tears forming in his eyes. “It’s like I can’t stop myself from doing it. Like someone is making me do it.”

You looked over to the Angel, hatred forming in your eyes at what they were doing to this poor man. A man who had no clue what was happening to him. How far were they going to push him until he completely shattered?

“What happens if you don’t Charles?”

“My head feels like it is about to explode. I can’t do anything until I get it all out. I can’t think. I can’t sleep, and when I do sleep more of the story comes to me.”

“May I ask what you do for a living Chuck?” you asked to change the subject. His general background you were going to need anyways for your assessment, might as well do your job even though this was not what you expected to walk in. “Nothing right now, it’s been too hard to try and do anything else since this began.”

“What kind of work would you like to be doing?”

“Well I went to school to be a writer,” he replied sheepishly.

You gave him an empathetic smile. “Well then maybe these dreams can be used as a blessing in disguise then.”

“What do you mean?”

“You said it was like a show playing right in front of you that you feel the need to write down, so do it,” you said while taking a quick glance toward the Angel. “Don’t stop yourself, take control. It could very well possibly reduce your other symptoms that you are having if you allow yourself to do it. Maybe you could turn it in for publication.”

“Then the whole world will think I am crazy,” he exclaimed.

You gave him a little shrug. “Use a pen name or blog them anonymously. Just get the story out of your system or you very well may drag yourself even further down.”

“A pen name,” he said quietly. “Monster Hunters by Joe Smith.”

“You may want to visit other possible names for the book title about the supernatural,” you replied with a little chuckle behind your voice. “Also you might find and use a name that means something to you.”

“Supernatural,” he replied while staring off in the distance. “I like it.”

____________________________________________________________

When Dean came back alone he was furious to discover that Gabriel had split during his absence. Mom, Jack, Ketch and now apocalypse world Charlie were counting on him to bring them back. To save them all. The weight of two worlds now weighing on his shoulders.

He pushed himself into his room, throwing everything that laid on his dresser in anger in one quick swoop. He sat down on the corner end of his bed and laid his face into his hands. What was he going to do now?

“Dean,” said the gruff voice of Cas while standing still I the doorway, observing the destruction Dean had made in his path.

“Not now Cas,” Dean said while not looking up to him.

“Dean, this is not your fault,” Cas stated solemnly. “We will find Gabriel, we will get to them.”

Cas continued talking about hopeful possibilities, none of them would be easy. What Dean wouldn’t do to just run away from it all, but he couldn’t. There were too many people counting on him. People he loved were on the other side. In this world, all the others he would and has laid down his life for, and now another person just got added to that list, Y/N.

“You are thinking about Bobby’s daughter,” Cas asked while already knowing the answer.

“How did you…”

“Sam informed me of her unexpected arrival,” Cas stated, interrupting Dean.

“Yeah well, that’s a whole other situation that we don’t have time for,” Dean quipped back.

“Dean, maybe you should take some time,” Cas said while feeling the frustration radiate off if Dean. “Maybe go and see her. Get your affairs in order while we figure out the next move.”

Dean sat there quietly pondering the idea. Every plan so far all had the same possible no-win situation if they did manage to get to them and stop Michael. These could very well be his last days on this earth at least. Seeing Y/N again, at least one last time sounded like the best plan he had heard all day. One last time to forget that the worlds were about to crumble all around him.

Keep Reading Part 7 Here

Tags: @jaylarkson @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @iamabeautifulperson18

#theresnoplacelikehome #dean x cas #sam x cas #reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #gabriel #supernatural series #supernatural fanfiction #spn fanfic

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nerdylittleshit · 7 years

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Thoughts about Spn 13x12

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Great Episode. Many things to love. And also very meta-ish? Like, there were several moments where I looked at my screen and just thought “I see what you did there”. Definitely lot of things worth a second look, discussion and speculation. So, without further rambling, let’s get to it.

There is no I in Team

Especially if there is no team to begin with. I bet these are the moments where Cas admitted to himself that Crowley wasn’t that bad after all. I love that Cas didn’t even consider for a single moment to work together with Lucifer, that he only used him to break out (and only after he learned that Mary was in danger) and stabbed him at the first opportunity he got. Also, apparently Cas’s new superpower is to sit and wait and annoy everyone around him long enough until he gets where he wants to (I mean this worked for me as a teenager as well).

What this episode proved is that Lucifer without his power is a useless character. His one defining characteristic is that he is one of the most powerful and therefore dangerous beings, who just looks down on everyone. Take his power away there is not much left besides a man who hates everyone, and that is just pathetic. And to contrast this, we have Cas, who is a fully flashed character, who is above all things kind, and loyal and devoted. What is so special about Cas is not his powers or the fact that he is an angel, but who he is, as a person. Lucifer is not a person. And to further contrast this Cas tells him about Jack, about the things he likes, about the good in him. He never mentions Jack’s powers, the only thing he has in common with his father. Only time will tell how Jack will react to his father however. Still, all Lucifer talked about was the absence of his powers and the only time Cas talked for a longer time it was about Jack, the person, not the Nephilim.

I have seen a few complains about the Casmodeus-plot or rather people feeling like it had no use, now that Cas is free and will be reunited with the brothers. I have to admit I wasn’t invested in the Casmodeus-plot and had no real desire to see him further interacting with Sam and Dean. We already had this storyline with Casifer. If anything it is about time they set up a safe-word to make sure Cas is really Cas in the future. I think the purpose of Casmodeus was to explain Cas’s absence and at the same time to find a reason why Sam and Dean are not worried about him. It is possible though Yockey simply thought it was a stupid idea to begin with. I mean Lucifer says that shapeshifting wasn’t one of the powers he gave to Asmodeus, which might be Yockey’s way of saying it was entirely Bucklemming’s idea. And really, they could have explained Cas’s absence with him actually looking for Jack. The random demon says they have plans for Cas however, so there might be a reason why he had to be Asmodeus’s prisoner. I also thought that it was odd that Sam and Dean hadn’t filled in Cas at this point. Why wouldn’t they tell Cas that Jack is missing, especially when Cas(modeus) called every day and asked about him?

There were also a few shout-outs to the audience: Cas being called a pretty boy, Lucifer bringing up the nurture vs nature debate and Cas saying that Jack looks nothing like Lucifer (because he looks like Cas).

The queen is dead, long live the queen

Y’ALL, ROWENA IS BACK! I know I said that before, but ever since her storyline is no longer tied to Crowley’s she has become such an interesting, layered, complex character. She has been around for such a long time and every time we see her we learn a bit more about her, but there is still so much left to explore.

Speaking of Crowley though, Rowena of course greets the Winchesters the same way her son did (“Hello boys”), which might mean she is gonna replace his role in the narrative. And to be honest she is the only character that I would allow to do that. Also, we finally see someone mourn Crowley. For all the hate between Rowena and her son, I always doubted they actually wanted to see each other dead, even though they tried to kill each other. Crowley was the only link left to Rowena’s past, to the woman she was before she became a witch, to her humanity. She doesn’t care that he died as a hero, because it means he is still dead, still not with her, because the only way she can love is in a selfish way. (I wonder if she tries to bring him back from the dead?)

The biggest emotional depth about this episode was that it acknowledged Rowena’s abuse at the hands off Lucifer and with that Sam’s shared trauma as well. Which was such a huge thing, and honestly the conversation between Sam and Rowena in the car was the best part of the episode for me. 11x10 was the turning point in Rowena’s story, because it was back then when she revealed to Crowley why she hated him, because her son was a constant reminder of his father using her and that love was nothing more than a weakness. And then moments later Lucifer killed her and I remember how angry I was after the episode because just as Rowena’s was revealed as a victim of abuse she died of the hands of yet another abuser. And not only once, but twice, admitting that Lucifer showed her his true face. Rowena is scared and she is scared all the time, which is paralyzing for someone as powerful and powerhungry as her. She believes the only way to end this fear is to kill Lucifer, once and for all.

Sam of course can relate. He has seen Lucifer’s real face as well, which creates a certain kind of intimacy between these two. And just as Rowena Sam can’t outrun his abuser. After his time in hell Lucifer first returned as Hallucifer in season 7 and later from the cage wearing one of his best friends and invading his home in season 11 (and next week he will learn that Lucifer is back once again). And yet Sam knows that nothing they will do to Lucifer will make the fear and the feeling of being helpless ever disappear. And despite Sam caring around this trauma for eight years, I don’t remember it has ever been addressed so directly. In the end Sam gives Rowena the page to unlock her power nevertheless, hoping she (and maybe he as well) will find some peace with it (also glad they didn’t keep that a secret for too long).

So what does that mean for the future? For one thing I am sure Lucifer has to die. Either through Rowena or Rowena and Sam together or Lucifer sacrifices himself as part of a redemption arc. Honestly though, after this episode and the painful reminder who Lucifer truly is I doubt he will get a redemption arc (another “no, thank you” from Yockey to Bucklemming?). Also, we learned that all this time Rowena wasn’t even operating on full power. With Rowena having all her magic back she could become the real big bad in the end. Though I would rather have it if after she kills Lucifer she realizes that all that power doesn’t bring her happiness and lets her magic go and becomes human again. Also, that whole scene where she gets her powers back? Kudos to both Ruth and Amanda Tapping. That was such a huge powerful feminist scene. And were her eyes blue in the end or purple? Her magic has always been purple, so that would make sense, and so far we have only seen blue eyes with angels. Hmmm.

Sibling mirrors

Say what you want about Jamie and Jennie but I really liked their clothes/style. Anyway, they were meant as one big dark mirror for the Winchesters, trying to bring back their dead mother, and willing to kill everyone around them for it (at least flower guy died smiling). This is the same as Sam releasing the Darkness in order to save Dean from the MoC or Dean threating Kaia in order to save Mary. None of these things have been portrayed as positive however and in the end the sisters kill each other, which is enough of a statement for the brother’s codepency.

So, let’s talk about the love spell a bit, because Yockey did manage to sneak in a lot of Destiel stuff. First they mention that a true love’s kiss can wake you up, and obviously fandom has been giddy about the idea of Cas saving Dean from the spell through a kiss. Then we have Dean coming back, telling Sam it is time to call Cas, and the very next thing he says is that he is in love. Ahem. Dean wants Jaime to move in, because this is big time, and well who already has a room in the bunker? Cas of course. Dean calls Jaime his soulmate and talks about cosmic fate, both terms that have been used in a million fan fiction. Dean acting under a love spell is basically how most people imagine Dean to act once Destiel finally becomes canon. And isn’t it great that the only time we see Dean kissing a women this season is through a love spell, resulting in literary false love? Like the only way Dean is even remotely interested in anyway is through a spell. Because he is of course already in love. Also bless Rowena for asking about the fifth base (I had to look this up though, poor sheltered girl that I am).

So let’s talk a moment about Sam. I love that they continue to address his depression, that they have finally fully acknowledged his trauma caused by Lucifer and him opening up to Dean. For as much as the first half the season focussed on Dean’s grief I hope we get the same attention for Sam now. Despite being around for 12,5 years Sam at times still feels like a blank page and in some ways to fault is with the writers who seem to focus more on Dean than Sam. So, I’m all in for more of Sam’s struggle. Here he admits that his way of coping was to come up with a plan: helping Jack and through that being able to save Mary. Now both Jack and Mary are gone, there is no plan B and the MoL library is as useless as usual (seriously the only helpful book in there is the Grimoire and seeing that AU!Kevin used a spell to open the rift I wonder of Rowena could help them saving Mary and Jack). Without his plan Sam has nothing left to distract him, to shield him from the pain he is going through. Sam looked at a horrible situation and tried to make the best out of it, looking at the options he still had. Dean mourned different; he was in no state to even begin to hope or to form a plan. Dean drowned in his pain until Cas come back, until he had his win, and only after he was able to function again. Sam however had ignored said pain until Jack was gone as well, and now it is crushing him. Obviously I want Sam to get better as well, but for now I love that the show explores his emotional journey and I hope we see a bit more of it in the upcoming episodes.

Until next week, when my review will look like this: DANNEEL! DANNEEL! DANNEEL!!!!!

#supernatural #spn 13x12 #various and sundry villains #spn meta #spoilers #my meta

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thorne93 · 7 years

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Inexplicable Fate (Part 13)

Prompt: When a blinding pain overtakes you at work, what will be in store for your life when you run into the Winchesters and learn Lucifer’s son is about to be born?

Warning: Language, pain, angst, violence, fighting (verbal and physical)…fear of insanity??

Word Count: 1923

Notes: This is for @roxyspearing gif challenge. It’s a Jack x Reader fic (so Season 12 and 13 spoilers) Long, slow burn, (a little slow paced at first).

Feedback always appreciated. Feel free to send a message, ask, or leave a comment! :D

Beta’d by the ever fabulous @like-a-bag-of-potatoes

Forever Tags: @capsmuscles @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @missinstantgratification @thejemersoninferno@rda1989 @munlis @thefridgeismybestie @bubblyanarocks3 @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername@kaliforniacoastalteens @feelmyroarrrr @kaeling @friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo

IF Tags: @iamafishandigosplish @myfamilysincarolina @ilovemyangelforever @kazuha159 @bisexualdolphinthings @mysteriouslydeliciouswerewolf@justiceiswater @millard-our-savior @polkadottedpillowcase @hunter-demigod-timelord @octo-cow52 @damnedangel98

Dean Winchester: @akshi8278 @mogaruke

Sam Winchester: @mogaruke @lenawiinchester

Castiel: @lenawiinchester

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the two of you were sitting in his room, watching some rather light movies, you heard Dean return, evidence of the loud groaning and creak of the bunker’s door. You wanted to greet him, and to apologize for the things you’d said in the last week, and to apologize for going awol with Cas and Kelly, but on your way, you heard Dean ask about Jack so you stopped in your tracks.

“How’s the kid? He go Dark Side yet?” Dean inquired.

“Nope. He is pretty messed up though,” Sam responded.

“You’re telling me,” Dean said, the lack of empathy causing a twinge in your chest. This rift between Dean and Jack was putting heavy amounts of stress on you, and you weren’t sure you could take it any longer.

Sam corrected, “No, Dean, he’s messed up because of you.”

Silence filled the bunker.

“Dean… you said you’d kill him.”

“It wasn’t exactly like that,” Dean retorted.

“Then how exactly was it?”

“I told him the truth. See, you think you can use this freak, but I know how this ends, and it ends bad.”

“I didn’t,” Sam quickly responded in a quiet voice.

“What?” Dean snapped in a gruff voice.

“I didn’t end bad, when I was the ‘freak’. When I was drinking demon blood,” Sam informed. “Neither did Y/N.”

“It could just be a matter of time, and in your case, it’s totally different,” Dean argued.

“Was it? Because you could’ve put a bullet in me. Dad told you to put a bullet in me, but you didn’t. You saved me. So help us save him,” Sam begged.

“You deserved to be saved. He doesn’t,” Dean insisted, and your chest felt cold and empty at that moment.

“Yes, he does, Dean. Of course he does,” Sam retaliated.

“Look, I know you think you can use him as some sort of interdimensional can opener, and that’s fine. But don’t act like you care about him, because you only care about what he can do for you. So if you wanna pretend, that’s fine. But me? I can hardly look at the kid. Cause when I do, all I see is everybody we’ve lost.”

You couldn’t bear to hear another word. Sam was just using Jack? Dean blamed Jack for everyone? Sam and Dean continued to fight when you stepped into the room. Part of you had felt like just turning around, running to your room. But a bigger part of you needed to face Dean, needed to talk to him about what he was going through.

“He manipulated Cas. He promised him paradise on Earth, and he bought it, and it got him dead. Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!” Dean shouted.

Sam saw you enter the room and his face quickly morphed from anger to shock. “Y/N,” he breathed.

Dean spun to face you, his face falling when his eyes saw you. “Great, another cheerleader for the antichrist,” he groaned.

“So you just think it’s a matter of time before I turn evil?” you questioned.

“If Donatello is right, and you’re something similar to Jack, yeah. You helped Cas and Kelly buy into this kid needing to be saved, and now they’re dead, because of you.”

“You think I wanted Cas to die? He was my best friend, so was Kelly. Just because I didn’t know him for almost ten years doesn’t mean I wasn’t close to him, Dean. You don’t have some sort of possession over him. When he died, it hurt me too, but I’m not going to blame Jack for it. Lucifer would’ve killed us anyway.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t did he? He killed Cas, not you. When it should’ve been you,” he said, staring at you with resentment in his eyes.

Taking in a quick breath, you whispered, “You don’t mean that…” His words felt like an icy hot knife inside your chest, twisting.

“I do. You were supposed to protect Cas, but you didn’t. You just stood to the side. Maybe you’re in league with Lucifer this whole time. Might be why you wanted the kid to live, why you showed up and found us randomly, might be why Cas got killed.”

“You have no right to say that to me. I risked my life to keep you two safe, to keep Cas safe, to keep Jack safe. I offered over and over again to help, but you shut me down every time.”

“Yeah, and clearly I was right!”

“You know what? Forget it. There’s no reason to stick around here anymore. You hate me, and clearly Sam only needs Jack to get your precious mom back, so I’m going to go home.”

“No, Y/N, wait,” Sam started, his voice desperate.

“No, Sam. I’m done. I loved you. I loved all of you, Sam, Cas, Dean, Jack..Kelly. But this...I can’t do this. I can’t keep pretending like I belong here or like you want me here, because it’s just not true.”

On that, you turned and went to your room to start packing.

----------------------------

Throwing things into your suitcase, you were beyond pissed and hurt, feeling betrayed. Sam came into your room.

“Y/N, don’t go,” he requested.

“Why? You don’t need me, you need Jack,” you spat, grabbing clothing from your dresser.

“No, that’s not the case. We need you. Jack needs you.”

“Yeah? Well Dean wants me gone. As far as he’s concerned I’m responsible for Cas’s death, and you know what?” you asked, throwing your clothing down on the bed in a heap, turning to Sam. “He’s right. It is my fault, but I can’t do anything about it! I tried. I wanted to be there for him so bad. I tried to grab him but he just shrugged me off, and when he came back through the rift… I know it’s my fault…”

“Y/N, losing Cas, that wasn’t your fault,” Sam rebutted. “That’s on Lucifer. Cas was happy to do what he did for Jack and you, all of us. Dean’s just hurting right now.”

“Yeah, well so am I! You think I like not knowing what I am? I uprooted my life over half a year ago, and I’m still no closer to knowing who or what I am! I don’t know where I come from, what I can do, or why I can do it. Jack, we know all about him. We know who his parents are, what he can do. But for me? Nothing. All signs point to nothing. On top of it, I lost two very close friends, and it’s because of me, and Dean can’t stand to look at me or Jack. Plus, I can’t even train him properly. Not to mention I can’t figure out why I feel this pull, this attraction to Jack. So I’m sorry if I’m a little bit frustrated!” you shouted, your blood pressure raising.

“I don’t blame you,” Dean suddenly said from the doorway. His voice made you slightly jump, as you had no idea he was standing there. He took a step inside your room. “I did, when it first hit. When we first lost him...But it’s not your fault. I was just so damn mad that you were there and didn’t do something. I saw you smoke Dagon. I knew you had power, but then, when the time came, you couldn’t save them.” Dean looked at you with weary eyes, and you knew whatever he was saying to you couldn’t be easy for him.

He shook his head slightly before bringing his eyes to meet yours. “But that’s not on you. You’re just a kid. You weren’t raised in this life, you weren’t born an angel,” he continued. “You tried. You asked Cas every time he came around for help. You sat here waiting for Cas to get his feathery ass to show you something, and he didn’t. He let you down, and he let us down, but he was trying to get a win. I can’t say I blame him. And we let you down.”

He took a moment to compose his thoughts. “We could’ve tried to help you with what was going on in your head, but we didn’t. We were too wrapped up in our own stuff to help you. And that’s on us. You not being prepared is on us, and I couldn’t accept that. For a while now, I realized you could’ve died too. It’s a miracle you didn’t. I can’t look at you because I know that you could’ve died that night and it would’ve been on us.”

You stared at him, shock on your face and snaking through your veins.

“Dean…” you said, tears welling in your eyes as you rushed forward to throw your arms around him. “I’m so sorry,” you sobbed into his jacket as he put his arms around you. “I tried to save them. I wanted to so badly. I just wasn’t quick enough. I couldn’t respond…”

“Hey, hey,” he soothed in his deep voice. “It’s not your fault,” he assured.

He held you while you cried it all out. You cried out the loss of your friends, the loss of your home, the loss of your life you’d built, the loss of talking to your family, the pressure and weight of having these powers, the guilt of losing Cas and their mom, the fears and worries you had for Jack. All of it came out in an ugly sob session as you gripped Dean and he held you, Sam coming up eventually to hug you as well, their presence slowly calming you and bringing you down.

Once you let them go, Dean said, “Don’t go. We want you here. For better or worse, you might be the only one who can save that kid, if he can be saved. And we want you around. You’re family now.”

“I am?” you asked, in disbelief.

“Yeah. You took care of us and you gave it your best shot when it came to defending us. Not much more we could ask for,” Dean explained and you hugged him again, tightly. “Alright, alright, enough with the water works.”

You laughed against him and let him go. “Thank you, Dean...I know that wasn’t easy for you.”

“Yeah, well, it wasn’t easy for you either,” he commented. “I’m gonna go get a drink,” he said, the tiniest of smiles coming to his lips before he turned and walked out.

Sam rubbed your arm soothingly. “You okay?”

“Yeah...Now that I know Dean doesn’t hate me, I feel better, but I still miss Castiel,” you said. “I think I’ll always feel guilty for that.”

“You couldn’t help that. None of us could.”

You shrugged. “Maybe. But...still.”

After a moment of silence, he asked, “Are you going to stay?”

“Do you want me to?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll stay.”

That night, you made everyone dinner, but didn’t feel like eating much yourself, so you excused yourself for bed. Truth was, bringing everything out in the open had made you realize just how much you missed Cas, and how much it hurt to have him gone, and how much pain you felt with the weight of guilt crushed down on your chest. You stayed up for a long time, crying, calling his name, begging for him to come back. Right now he seemed like the only one that could help you make sense of any of this.

But he was gone….

#inexplicable fate #we have a gif for that challenge #jack kline x reader #jack kline fic #jack the nephilim #jack kline #dean wincester #sam winchester #castiel

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