#now here’s ghost!stephen

[kyuyua]

To all my Ironstrange buddies, here’s a fic rec that I think sorely needs attention

Cody Fry’s ‘I Hear A Symphony’ is now my Ironstrange theme song thanks

Words: 50,463

Chapters: 10/10

After Thanos is defeated - thanks to the mysteriously missing Time stone, Tony can’t wait to dive into his retirement plans. He buys a nice little penthouse apartment, moves in his bot family and with the new Avengers taking care of business now, he can finally rest his weary body and haunted mind.

Powerful relics don’t just disappear into thin air though, and he soon finds out that the view and the piano are not the only things he bought along with his new home.

It’s not like realtors would come clean about annoying, medieval-looking ghosts that keep showing up, claiming this is their home, their piano and that they are most certainly not dead.

[annecoulmanross]

So it's been a while. But I couldn't let James Fitzjames Finding Day pass without some celebration—thank you Doug Stenton, Stephen Fratpietro, and Robert W. Park for giving us this wonderful and terrible knowledge. I've made an emotional playlist of all of us currently experiencing whatever emotion this is:

Selected lyrics for each song included below the cut!

Strange Ships | PHILDEL

Strange ships won’t let me sail out Passed by the ice and stone now

2. I, Carrion (Icarian) | Hozier

If the wind turns, if I hit a squall Allow the ground to find its brutal way to me

3. Howling | Wild Rivers

Howling out here for the morning light I can’t sing no more

4. The Yawning Grave | Lord Huron

I tried to warn you when you were a child I told you not to get lost in the wild I sent omens and all kinds of signs I taught you melodies, poems, and rhymes

5. Sax Rohmer #1 | The Mountain Goats

Ships loose from their grins, capsize and then they’re gone Sailors with no captains watch a while and then move on

6. Long Wave | Dessa

Starve the guard dog And see what hunger does It’s easy when we’re well fed To talk of love

7. Achilles Come Down | Gang of Youths

Throw yourself into the unknown, With pace and a fury defiant Clothe yourself in beauty untold, And see life as a means to a triumph

8. Eat You Alive | The Oh Hellos

I’ve seen the true face of the things you call life The song of the siren that holds your desire Death, she is cunning and clever as hell And she’ll eat you alive

9. My Ego Dies At The End | Jensen McRae

Leave my body and my ego early Kill it kind with a surgeon’s mercy Claim I put it out of its misery

10. Who We Are | Hozier

Darling, we sacrificed We gave our time to something undefined This phantom life sharpens like an image But it sharpens like a knife

11. Devourer | Aidoneus

Beams of light, show me how to feel Light the gloam, find my Achilles heel I will welcome my mortality—let me go

12. Sound the Bells | Dessa

Go lift your sails up For one last swell Go lift yourselves up To sound the bells

13. Your Bones | Of Monsters and Men

Said goodbye to you my friend As the fire spread All that’s left are your bones That will soon sink like stones

14. Wildflower and Barley | Hozier, Allison Russell

This year, I swear it will be buried in actions This year, I swear it will be buried in words Some close to the surface, some close to the casket I feel as useful as dirt, put my body to work

15. These Bones | Azrai, Momo O’brien

It’s a savage sea we’re made to roam Every tide can turn to haunt us But the ocean reaches past these ghosts And I will always sail for more

16. By Way Of Sorrow | Cry Cry Cry

You have come by way of sorrow You have come by way of tears You’ll reach your destiny Meant to find you all these years

17. Gracestone | PHILDEL

When I open my final door I’m gonna sail much wilder seas than your ships were built for I’m turning into dust across that cove You know, I have known enough to not feel owed

18. Glowing | The Oh Hellos

You’ll rise, like land, pulled up at the sound of some strange commandment A moon alight, reflecting fully And I guess it would feel like rebirth, out of some kind of dying To see yourself so glowing

[larkandkatydid]

"No live organism can continue to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream..."

Book Recs: The Gothic After Shirley Jackson

Peter Straub, Ghost Story: One of the great horror novles about misogyny that is also misogynistic. But, I will say in the 30 or so years that this book has been in my life, I've come to see it as smarter and more interesting with its unreliable protagonists than I had previously thought. And this is partially the skill of the writer unfolding for me as I mature, but I cannot help but think that Current Events make it impossible to not see the Chowder Society as an allegory for the U.S. Supreme Court

Rene Depestre, Hadriana In All My Dreams: A gorgeous, richly written zombie story but I also think a very early exploration of the ideas you find in a lot of feminist horror critiques. What if the beauitful dead girl wants to be something other than beautiful and pure and perfect and dead?

Susannah Clark, Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrel: The hype over this book when it came out was so intense that I think I undervalued it at first because it could not possibly have lived up to that hype. But it truly is excellent.

Tananarive Due, The Good House: This book is such a perfect iteration of the Steven Speilberg/Stephen King style of normal family in peril. Due's latest book, The Reformatory has won so many horror awards this year and it also a wonderful new version of books about the children fighting evil. There's so much heart and warmth in all her books, even when awful things happen.

Helen Oyeyemi, White is for Witching: A austere, Jackon-esque haunted house book that also reminds me a lot of Sarah Waters' The Little Stranger. It's very much rooted in the conservative, nightmarish era of the 1980s, which makes it now relevant for today.

Jeanette Ng, Under the Pendulum Sun: This book about Victorian missionaries in the fairy realm ends up on so many of my recomendation lists. If Under the Pendulum Sun has one fan, and it might, that fan is me. But I remain ever hopeful that I will be able to persuade enough of the reading public that it gets a sequel.

Afia Atakora, Conjure Women: A book that is riffing on both Jane Eyre and The Beguiled and, most of all, digging in the rich gothic soil of "how do we live together after betraying each other to survive?"

Olga Tokarczuk, Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead: What else can be said about this book? It's an ecofeminist Hannibal episode in the most complimentary way possible. It's probably insulting to put Tokarczuk on a list with such goofy books, but she's having fun here.

Emma Rous, The Au Pair: This is the stupidest book on this list. It is possibly one of the stupidest books ever written, something I say with profound love and admiration. Nothing that happens in this book makes emotional or medical sense, and yet, it's a fucking blast.

[fandomtrumpshate]

Unlisted Fandom Challenge 2025— on your marks, get set, GO!

Not that you need any encouragement — we've got almost as many write-in fandoms now (not even THREE DAYS into signups) as we did in total last year! There are currently 158 write-in fandoms. 158.

And if your fandom isn't here ... we'd love you to sign up as a creator and add it! We're ready to set new records, so let's do this.

This post will include the WHOLE LIST of write-in fandoms. Under the cut because 158 fandoms = very long post. Future Unlisted Fandom Challenge updates will feature portions of the list and info about the rest.

Ready? Okay then:

6 Jeff Satur - Music Videos 4 Control (Remedy Game) 4 Zhen Hun / Guardian (drama and novel) 3 Cabin Pressure 3 Dungeon Meshi 3 Fire Emblem Awakening 3 Fire Emblem Fates 3 Roswell New Mexico 3 Schitt's Creek 3 The Goblin Emperor Series - Katherine Addison 3 Transformers 3 Zhen Hun / Guardian (drama) RPF 2 Animorphs 2 BBC Ghosts 2 Biggles Series — W. E. Johns 2 Binan Koukou Chikyuu Boueibu (Cute High Earth Defense Club) franchise 2 Cherry Magic 2 Dangan Ronpa 2 Dead Boy Detectives RPF 2 Detective Conan 2 Dungeons and Daddies (Podcast) 2 Five Nights at Freddy's - All Media 2 Inception 2 Iron widow 2 Kingdom Hearts 2 Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury 2 Sailor Moon 2 The Blue Wolves of Mibu 2 The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (TV series) 2 The Poppy War 2 Tiger & Bunny 2 Tower of God 2 Voltron: Legendary Defender 2 What We Do In The Shadows 2 ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 / JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken / JoJo's Bizarre Adventure 1 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) 1 Alien Stage 1 Among Us 1 Arctic Monkeys/The Last shadow Puppets 1 Avatar: Legend of Korra 1 Baseball RPF 1 BBC’s Musketeers 1 Beyond Evil 1 Black Doves 1 Boygenius (Band)(RPF) 1 Bridgerton (TV) 1 Brokeback Mountain 1 Bullet train 1 Canji Baojun De Zhangxin Yu Chong (The disabled tyrant's pet palm fish) 1 Cassette Beasts 1 Castle 1 Challengers 1 Charmed (1998) 1 Conclave (2024) 1 Danger Force (TV) 1 Dead by Daylight 1 Descendants 1 Destiny 2 1 Digimon 1 Dimension 20 1 Dishonored 1 Dishonored 1 1 Downton Abbey 1 Dr. Stone 1 Dragonriders of Pern by Anne McCaffrey 1 Emma - Jane Austen 1 Fangs of Fortune 1 Flight Rising 1 Formula 2/3 RPF 1 Ghosts (BBC or American) 1 Grantchester (TV) 1 Gravity Falls 1 Grimm 1 Happy Ending (Thailand TV 2025) 1 Hatoful Boyfriend 1 Haven (TV) 1 Helluva Boss 1 Henry Danger (TV) 1 High School Musical (Movies) 1 Hikaru no Go 1 HLVRAI - Half-life VR But the AI is Self-Aware 1 In Stars And Time 1 IndyCar RPF 1 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia 1 Jeeves and Wooster 1 Jet Lag The Game RPF 1 Kane and Feels 1 Kraven the Hunter 1 Kuroko no Basuke / Kuroko's Basketball 1 Law & Order 1 Law & Order: Special Victims Unit 1 Lies of P 1 Live A Live 1 Lord Seventh/Qi Ye 1 Lovecraft Mythos 1 Lucifer (tv) 1 Mass Effect 1, 2 or 3 1 Mononoke (2007 series and 2024 movie) 1 MotoGP RPF 1 My Time at Sandrock 1 NBA RPF 1 Nirvana in Fire (琅琊榜) 1 Norah Grant Bruce's Billabong books 1 Oh No! Here Comes Trouble 1 Omniscient Reader 1 Once Upon A Time 1 Order of the Stick 1 Outlast games 1 Over the Garden Wall 1 Pacific Rim 1 Pathologic 1 Persuasion - Jane Austen 1 Pirates of the Caribbean 1 Power Rangers (2017 movie) 1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen 1 Princess Tutu 1 Prodigal Son 1 Puella Magi Madoka Magica 1 Quantum Break 1 Resident Alien 1 Resident Evil 1 S.C.I Mystery 1 S.W.A.T. (2017 show) 1 She-Ra Netflix 1 Shipwrecked Comedy 1 Slow Horses 1 Sonic the Hedgehog (Games) 1 South Park 1 Spinning Silver (Novik) 1 Squid Game 1 Starkid Musicals (no hp) 1 Stephen King's It 1 Stray Gods: The Roleplaying Musical 1 Super Sentai 1 The A Team (either the 2010 movie or the 1980s series) 1 The Coffin of Andy and Leyley 1 The OC 1 The Pairing - Casey McQuiston 1 The Paradise of Thorns 1 The Umbrella Academy 1 the vampire diaries universe 1 The Venture Maidens 1 The West Wing 1 The X-Files 1 Thousand Autumns 1 Tron 1 Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles 1 Turning 1 Universal Century Gundam 1 Valdemar Series by Mercedes Lackey 1 video games by Arkane Studios 1 Voltron 1 Wander Over Yonder 1 Watcher Entertainment/BuzzFeed Unsolved RPF 1 White Collar 1 Wind Breaker 1 Wonka 1 Word of Honor 1 X-Files

WHEW! That's a long list! And we'd love to see it get longer :)

If you're thinking of signing up and want to write in your fandom, we encourage you to make a promo post to grab the attention of others in your fandom so they come sign up, too. If you've already written in your fandom and want to see the number of signups grow ... we encourage you to create a fandom promo as well! We have an image generator you can use to add bling to your promo, or browse the 'fth promo reblog 2024' tag for inspiration.

And a quick request — if you are copying the name of your fandom over from the AO3 tags and it contains the | character, please change it to a /. The scripts and sheets in the back end of FTH do not like the | character.

[disabled-dragoon]

The Disability Library

I love books, I love literature, and I love this blog, but it's only been recently that I've really been given the option to explore disabled literature, and I hate that. When I was a kid, all I wanted was to be able to read about characters like me, and now as an adult, all I want is to be able to read a book that takes us seriously.

And so, friends, Romans, countrymen, I present, a special disability and chronic illness booklist, compiled by myself and through the contributions of wonderful members from this site!

As always, if there are any at all that you want me to add, please just say. I'm always looking for more!

Edit 20/10/2023: You can now suggest books using the google form at the bottom!

Updated: 31/08/2023

Articles and Chapters

The Drifting Language of Architectural Accessibility in Victor Hugo's Notre-Dame de Paris, Essaka Joshua, 2012

Early Modern Literature and Disability Studies, Allison P. Hobgood, David Houston Wood, 2017

How Do You Develop Whole Object Relations as an Adult?, Elinor Greenburg, 2019

Making Do with What You Don't Have: Disabled Black Motherhood in Octavia E. Butler's Parable of the Sower and Parable of the Talents, Anna Hinton, 2018

Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2003 OR Necropolitics, Achille Mbeme, 2019

Wasted Lives: Modernity and Its Outcasts, Zygmunt Bauman, 2004

Witchcraft and deformity in early modern English Literature, Scott Eaton, 2020

Books

Fiction:

Misc:

10 Things I Can See From Here, Carrie Mac

A-F:

A Curse So Dark and Lonely, (Series), Brigid Kemmerer

Akata Witch, (Series), Nnedi Okorafor

A Mango-Shaped Space, Wendy Mass

Ancillary Justice, (Series), Ann Leckie

An Unkindness of Ghosts, Rivers Solomon

An Unseen Attraction, (Series), K. J. Charles

A Shot in the Dark, Victoria Lee

A Snicker of Magic, Natalie Lloyd

A Song of Ice and Fire, (series), George R. R. Martin

A Spindle Splintered, (Series), Alix E. Harrow

A Time to Dance, Padma Venkatraman

Bath Haus, P. J. Vernon

Beasts of Prey, (Series), Ayana Gray

The Bedlam Stacks, (Series), Natasha Pulley

Black Bird, Blue Road, Sofiya Pasternack

Black Sun, (Series), Rebecca Roanhorse

Blood Price, (Series), Tanya Huff

Borderline, (Series), Mishell Baker

Breath, Donna Jo Napoli

The Broken Kingdoms, (Series), N.K. Jemisin

Brute, Kim Fielding

Cafe con Lychee, Emery Lee

Carry the Ocean, (Series), Heidi Cullinan

Challenger Deep, Neal Shusterman

Cinder, (Series), Marissa Meyer

Clean, Amy Reed

Connection Error, (Series), Annabeth Albert

Cosima Unfortunate Steals A Star, Laura Noakes

Crazy, Benjamin Lebert

Crooked Kingdom, (Series), Leigh Bardugo

Daniel Cabot Puts Down Roots, (Series), Cat Sebastian

Daniel, Deconstructed, James Ramos

Dead in the Garden, (Series), Dahlia Donovan

Dear Fang, With Love, Rufi Thorpe

Deathless Divide, (Series), Justina Ireland

The Degenerates, J. Albert Mann

The Doctor's Discretion, E.E. Ottoman

Earth Girl, (Series), Janet Edwards

Everyone in This Room Will Someday Be Dead, Emily R. Austin

The Extraordinaries, (Series), T. J. Klune

The Extraordinary Education of Nicholas Benedict, (Series), Trenton Lee Stewart

Fight + Flight, Jules Machias

The Final Girl Support Group, Grady Hendrix

Finding My Voice, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The First Thing About You, Chaz Hayden

Follow My Leader, James B. Garfield

Forever Is Now, Mariama J. Lockington

Fortune Favours the Dead, (Series), Stephen Spotswood

Fresh, Margot Wood

H-0:

Harmony, London Price

Harrow the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Hench, (Series), Natalia Zina Walschots

Highly Illogical Behaviour, John Corey Whaley

Honey Girl, Morgan Rogers

How to Become a Planet, Nicole Melleby

How to Bite Your Neighbor and Win a Wager, (Series), D. N. Bryn

How to Sell Your Blood & Fall in Love, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Hunger Pangs: True Love Bites, Joy Demorra

I Am Not Alone, Francisco X. Stork

The Immeasurable Depth of You, Maria Ingrande Mora

In the Ring, Sierra Isley

Into The Drowning Deep, (Series), Mira Grant

Iron Widow, (Series), Xiran Jay Zhao

Izzy at the End of the World, K. A. Reynolds

Jodie's Journey, Colin Thiele

Just by Looking at Him, Ryan O'Connell

Kissing Doorknobs, Terry Spencer Hesser

Lakelore, Anna-Marie McLemore

Learning Curves, (Series), Ceillie Simkiss

Let's Call It a Doomsday, Katie Henry

The Library of the Dead, (Series), TL Huchu

The Lion Hunter, (Series), Elizabeth Wein

Lirael, (Series), Garth Nix

Long Macchiatos and Monsters, Alison Evans

Love from A to Z, (Series), S.K. Ali

Lycanthropy and Other Chronic Illnesses, Kristen O'Neal

Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro

The Never Tilting World, (Series), Rin Chupeco

The No-Girlfriend Rule, Christen Randall

Nona the Ninth, (series), Tamsyn Muir

Noor, Nnedi Okorafor

Odder Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Once Stolen, (Series), D. N. Bryn

One For All, Lillie Lainoff

On the Edge of Gone, Corinne Duyvis

Origami Striptease, Peggy Munson

Our Bloody Pearl, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Out of My Mind, Sharon M. Draper

P-T:

Parable of the Sower, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Parable of the Talents, (Series), Octavia E. Butler

Percy Jackson & the Olympians, (series), Rick Riordan

Pomegranate, Helen Elaine Lee

The Prey of Gods, Nicky Drayden

The Pursuit Of..., (Series), Courtney Milan

The Queen's Thief, (Series), Megan Whalen Turner

The Quiet and the Loud, Helena Fox

The Raging Quiet, Sheryl Jordan

The Reanimator's Heart, (Series), Kara Jorgensen

The Remaking of Corbin Wale, Joan Parrish

Roll with It, (Series), Jamie Sumner

Russian Doll, (Series), Cristelle Comby

The Second Mango, (Series), Shira Glassman

Scar of the Bamboo Leaf, Sieni A.M

Shaman, (Series), Noah Gordon

Sick Kids in Love, Hannah Moskowitz

The Silent Boy, Lois Lowry

Six of Crows, (Series) Leigh Bardugo

Sizzle Reel, Carlyn Greenwald

The Spare Man, Mary Robinette Kowal

The Stagsblood Prince, (Series), Gideon E. Wood

Stake Sauce, Arc 1: The Secret Ingredient is Love. No, Really, (Series), RoAnna Sylver

Stars in Your Eyes, Kacen Callender [Expected release: Oct 2023]

The Storm Runner, (Series), J. C. Cervantes

Stronger Still, (Series), D. N. Bryn

Sweetblood, Pete Hautman

Tarnished Are the Stars, Rosiee Thor

The Theft of Sunlight, (Series), Intisar Khanani

Throwaway Girls, Andrea Contos

Top Ten, Katie Cotugno

Torch, Lyn Miller-Lachmann

Treasure, Rebekah Weatherspoon

Turtles All the Way Down, John Green

U-Z:

Unlicensed Delivery, Will Soulsby-McCreath Expected release October 2023

Verona Comics, Jennifer Dugan

Vorkosigan Saga, (Series), Lois McMaster Bujold

We Are the Ants, (Series), Shaun David Hutchinson

The Weight of Our Sky, Hanna Alkaf

Whip, Stir and Serve, Caitlyn Frost and Henry Drake

The Whispering Dark, Kelly Andrew

Wicked Sweet, Chelsea M. Cameron

Wonder, (Series), R. J. Palacio

Wrong to Need You, (Series), Alisha Rai

Ziggy, Stardust and Me, James Brandon

Graphic Novels:

A Quick & Easy Guide to Sex & Disability, (Non-Fiction), A. Andrews

Constellations, Kate Glasheen

Dancing After TEN: a graphic memoir, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Vivian Chong, Georgia Webber

Everything Is an Emergency: An OCD Story in Words Pictures, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Jason Adam Katzenstein

Frankie's World: A Graphic Novel, (Series), Aoife Dooley

The Golden Hour, Niki Smith

Nimona, N. D. Stevenson

The Third Person, (memoir) (Non-Fiction), Emma Grove

Magazines and Anthologies:

Artificial Divide, (Anthology), Robert Kingett, Randy Lacey

Beneath Ceaseless Skies #175: Grandmother-nai-Leylit's Cloth of Winds, (Article), R. B. Lemburg

Defying Doomsday, (Anthology), edited by Tsana Dolichva and Holly Kench

Josee, the Tiger and the Fish, (short story) (anthology), Seiko Tanabe

Nothing Without Us, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Nothing Without Us Too, edited by Cait Gordon and Talia C. Johnson

Unbroken: 13 Stories Starring Disabled Teens, (Anthology), edited by Marieke Nijkamp

Uncanny #24: Disabled People Destroy Science Fiction, (Anthology), edited by: Elsa Sjunneson-Henry, Dominik Parisien et al.

Uncanny #30: Disabled People Destroy Fantasy, (Anthology), edited by: Nicolette Barischoff, Lisa M. Bradley, Katharine Duckett

We Shall Be Monsters, edited by Derek Newman-Stille

Manga:

Perfect World, (Series), Rie Aruga

The Sky is Blue with a Single Cloud, (Short Stories), Kuniko Tsurita

Non-Fiction:

Academic Ableism: Disability and Higher Education, Jay Timothy Dolmage

A Disability History of the United States, Kim E, Nielsen

The Architecture of Disability: Buildings, Cities, and Landscapes beyond Access, David Gissen

Being Seen: One Deafblind Woman's Fight to End Ableism, Elsa Sjunneson

Black Disability Politics, Sami Schalk

Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety, Dr. Elinor Greenburg

Brilliant Imperfection: Grappling with Cure, Eli Clare

The Cambridge Companion to Literature and Disability, Barker, Clare and Stuart Murray, editors.

The Capacity Contract: Intellectual Disability and the Question of Citizenship, Stacy Clifford Simplican

Capitalism and Disability, Martha Russel

Care work: Dreaming Disability Justice, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Catatonia, Shutdown and Breakdown in Autism: A Psycho-Ecological Approach, Dr Amitta Shah

The Collected Schizophrenias: Essays, Esme Weijun Wang

Crip Kinship, Shayda Kafai

Crip Up the Kitchen: Tools, Tips and Recipes for the Disabled Cook, Jules Sherred

Culture – Theory – Disability: Encounters between Disability Studies and Cultural Studies, Anne Waldschmidt, Hanjo Berressem, Moritz Ingwersen

Decarcerating Disability: Deinstitutionalization and Prison Abolition, Liat Ben-Moshe

Demystifying Disability: What to Know, What to Say, and How to Be an Ally, Emily Ladau

Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Disability Pride: Dispatches from a Post-ADA World, Ben Mattlin

Disability Visibility: First-Person Stories From the Twenty-First Century, Alice Wong

Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability and Making Space, Amanda Leduc

Every Cripple a Superhero, Christoph Keller

Exile and Pride: Disability, Queerness and Liberation, Eli Clare

Feminist Queer Crip, Alison Kafer

The Future Is Disabled: Prophecies, Love Notes, and Mourning Songs, Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha

Growing Up Disabled in Australia, Carly Findlay

It's Just Nerves: Notes on a Disability, Kelly Davio

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot

Language Deprivation & Deaf Mental Health, Neil S. Glickman, Wyatte C. Hall

The Minority Body: A Theory of Disability, Elizabeth Barnes

My Body and Other Crumbling Empires: Lessons for Healing in a World That Is Sick, Lyndsey Medford

No Right to Be Idle: The Invention of Disability, 1840s-1930s, Sarah F. Rose

Nothing About Us Without Us: Disability Oppression and Empowerment, James I. Charlton

The Pedagogy of Pathologization Dis/abled Girls of Color in the School-prison Nexus, Subini Ancy Annamma

Physical Disability in British Romantic Literature, Essaka Joshua

QDA: A Queer Disability Anthology, Raymond Luczak, Editor.

The Right to Maim: Debility, Capacity, Disability, Jasbir K. Puar

Sitting Pretty, (memoir), Rebecca Taussig

Sounds Like Home: Growing Up Black & Deaf in the South, Mary Herring Wright

Surviving and Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness: How to Stay Sane and Live One Step Ahead of Your Symptoms, Ilana Jacqueline

The Things We Don't Say: An Anthology of Chronic Illness Truths, Julie Morgenlender

Uncanny Bodies: Superhero Comics and Disability, Scott T. Smith, José Alaniz 

Uncomfortable Labels: My Life as a Gay Autistic Trans Woman, (memoir), Laura Kate Dale

Unmasking Autism, Devon Price

The War on Disabled People: Capitalism, Welfare and the Making of a Human Catastrophe, Ellen Clifford

We've Got This: Essays by Disabled Parents, Eliza Hull

Year of the Tiger: An Activist's Life, (memoir) (essays) Alice Wong

Picture Books:

A Day With No Words, Tiffany Hammond, Kate Cosgrove-

A Friend for Henry, Jenn Bailey, Mika Song

Ali and the Sea Stars, Ali Stroker, Gillian Reid

All Are Welcome, Alexandra Penfold, Suzanne Kaufman

All the Way to the Top, Annette Bay Pimentel, Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, Nabi Ali

Can Bears Ski?, Raymond Antrobus, Polly Dunbar

Different -- A Great Thing to Be!, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

Everyone Belongs, Heather Alvis, Sarah Mensinga

I Talk Like a River, Jordan Scott, Sydney Smith

Jubilee: The First Therapy Horse and an Olympic Dream, K. T. Johnson, Anabella Ortiz

Just Ask!, Sonia Sotomayor, Rafael López

Kami and the Yaks, Andrea Stenn Stryer, Bert Dodson

My Three Best Friends and Me, Zulay, Cari Best, Vanessa Brantley-Newton

Rescue & Jessica: A Life-Changing Friendship, Jessica Kensky, Patrick Downes, Scott Magoon

Sam's Super Seats, Keah Brown, Sharee Miller

Small Knight and the Anxiety Monster, Manka Kasha

We Move Together, Kelly Fritsch, Anne McGuire, Eduardo Trejos

We're Different, We're the Same, and We're All Wonderful!, Bobbi Jane Kates, Joe Mathieu

What Happened to You?, James Catchpole, Karen George

The World Needs More Purple People, Kristen Bell, Benjamin Hart, Daniel Wiseman

You Are Enough: A Book About Inclusion, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

You Are Loved: A Book About Families, Margaret O'Hair, Sofia Sanchez, Sofia Cardoso

The You Kind of Kind, Nina West, Hayden Evans

Zoom!, Robert Munsch, Michael Martchenko

Plays:

Peeling, Kate O'Reilly

---

With an extra special thank you to @parafoxicalk @craftybookworms @lunod @galaxyaroace @shub-s @trans-axolotl @suspicious-whumping-egg @ya-world-challenge @fictionalgirlsworld @rubyjewelqueen @some-weird-queer-writer @jacensolodjo @cherry-sys @dralthon @thebibliosphere @brynwrites @aj-grimoire @shade-and-sun @ceanothusspinosus @edhelwen1 @waltzofthewifi @spiderleggedhorse @sleepneverheardofher @highladyluck @oftheides @thecouragetobekind @nopoodles @lupadracolis @elusivemellifluence @creativiteaa @moonflowero1 @the-bi-library @chronically-chaotic-cryptid for your absolutely fantastic contributions!

---

Submit a Book:

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Big Deep Water News 🪼🪼🪼

As some of you might know, I write not just two sentence prompts, but full length manuscripts as well. Following beta sourced from the followers of this very blog, I’ve been querying the most recent, titled BORDERLINE, intermittently for about a year.

And, as of this week, I’ve officially signed with a literary agent and am now represented by Stephen Barbara at Inkwell Management.

Prompts will continue as I work on some edits (and my regular job) and dream the manuscript gets picked up and published. If you’re interested, here’s a link to the tag on my personal, and the description below the cut!

I’ll definitely be sharing any news that comes up on this topic. It’s pretty wild but here we are. Stay weird, keep writing, and love always,

- Lilia 💫

Lin O’Leary keeps her eyes closed. That’s how you survive in the town of Florida: small, slightly run down, and sitting right on a rip in reality. Known to locals as ‘the borderline’, all anyone knows for sure is that it ate town darling Momo Kasahara six years ago, and is best left alone. Lin, a high school dropout now working at the world’s weirdest corner store, tries not to dwell on the girl she might have loved if she’d had the chance. No real friends or future, she accepts midnight shifts, saves her pennies, and ignores the faceless entity seeking instant oatmeal. 

When a grown up Momo appears one night like a ghost in the snack aisle, everything changes. Lin is sure that finding her will cure the strange gloom that’s been hanging over her and her town for so long. Remaining twin Bo Kasahara just wants his family whole again, and touring paranormal vlogger Julien True sees his chance to shoot the pilot episode of his dreams. Together the three of them must learn how to cross the borderline, unraveling the terrible secrets of Florida one by one until their rescue mission is successful. Because Momo is not a ghost at all. 

Momo Kasahara is impossible to find and furious about it. Her hometown is an otherworldly shadow, her mind is definitely going, and her only neighbors treat her with eldritch indifference…most of the time. Stuck somewhere just outside of existence, she knows she must save herself soon, before she forgets what it means to be human.

[caplanbuckybarnes]

Through Space & Time, Always (Stephen Strange)

Summary: You and Stephentalk about your differences after being away from each other for so long.

Warnings: None

wc: 915

Read on Ao3!

--

The Sanctum Sanctorum was quiet, save for the faint hum of ancient magic coursing through its walls. You stood in the grand foyer, surrounded by relics of forgotten realms, feeling small in the presence of so much power. It had been years since you set foot here, but the place still felt as overwhelming as it had the first time.

And then there was him—Stephen Strange.

You felt his presence before you saw him, the air subtly shifting with the energy he always carried. He stepped out from the shadows, his deep blue cloak flowing behind him, eyes as sharp and piercing as ever. The Sorcerer Supreme in all his enigmatic glory.

"It's been a while since I first saw you," you said, your voice steady, though your heart raced.

Stephen's gaze lingered on you for a moment before he spoke, his voice a low, smooth timbre. "It has," he replied, stepping closer. "Time seems to work differently when you're not anchored to one place."

You nodded, your eyes meeting his. He was as composed and calm as you remembered, but something about him felt different. The last time you had seen each other, the world was on the verge of falling apart, the battle for reality itself hanging in the balance. You had been a part of that war, standing by his side as the universe fractured and reshaped itself. But after that, you left—chasing a sense of normalcy that Stephen could never provide.

Yet here you were again.

"You look well," he said, his tone polite but distant. His fingers twitched, as if resisting the urge to reach out.

"So do you," you replied, feeling the weight of his words. But the silence between you told a different story. There was an unspoken tension, years of unsaid things lingering between you both like ghosts.

You moved to the center of the room, looking around at the relics on display. "Has anything changed?" you asked, trying to break the silence. "This place feels timeless."

Stephen's lips curved into a faint smile. "Time doesn’t touch the Sanctum the way it does the rest of the world." He paused, his expression growing serious again. "But I have changed."

Your heart tightened at his words. Of course he had. He had seen more than most, faced more darkness than anyone should ever have to. You knew what that did to people. "And me?" you asked quietly. "Have I changed?"

He hesitated, the faintest flicker of something crossing his face—something vulnerable, something real. "I can see it in your eyes," he said softly. "You’ve been through much. But you're still... you."

You took a step toward him, your eyes searching his for the truth. "You never came looking for me."

Stephen’s expression hardened, a mask slipping back into place. "I couldn't."

"Couldn’t or wouldn’t?"

For the first time since you'd arrived, he looked away, as though the weight of your question was too much to bear. "It’s not that simple," he said, voice tight with restraint.

"But it could have been," you insisted, your voice rising with the frustration you'd buried for so long. "We fought together, Stephen. We trusted each other. And then I left, and you... let me go."

"I had to let you go," he said, his voice a rough whisper, eyes flicking back to yours with a mixture of pain and resolve. "It was the only way I could keep you safe."

The room felt heavier now, the magic in the air humming louder as if the Sanctum itself sensed the turmoil. You both stood there, staring at each other, the past hanging between you like a chasm neither of you had dared to cross.

"Was it worth it?" you asked, your voice barely audible.

He didn’t answer immediately. Instead, Stephen took a step toward you, his hand hovering just near yours but not quite touching. "There’s never been a day I haven’t thought about you," he admitted, his voice so low it was almost a whisper. "But the life I lead, the risks I take… it’s too dangerous for you."

You swallowed hard, the words hitting you like a wave. "Maybe I didn’t need you to protect me. Maybe I needed you to stay."

Stephen’s face softened, a crack in the armor he always wore. "And what would’ve happened then?" he asked, his eyes searching yours. "Would you have stayed here, in this world of chaos? Or would you have left eventually, searching for something I can never give you?"

You didn’t have an answer. Maybe you never would.

"I don’t know," you said softly, taking a small step closer. "But it’s been a long time, Stephen. And standing here now... I realize I never really left. Not in my heart."

For a moment, you both stood there, so close yet so far, the weight of everything unsaid pressing between you. Stephen’s hand finally closed the gap, his fingers brushing against yours, sending a spark of warmth through you.

"I can’t change what’s happened," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I can promise you this—if you stay this time, I’ll try. I’ll try to be the man you need me to be."

You smiled faintly, tears stinging the corners of your eyes. "I don’t need you to be perfect, Stephen. I just need you to stay."

In that moment, with his hand in yours and the world held at bay, it felt like maybe—just maybe—this time, things could be different.

[starkenobi]

Demonic Domination | MASTERLIST

masterlist

Sumary: Y/N doesn't classify herself as a vigilante or, as people on the internet say, an antihero. No, she's just an occult detective with a fucking amnesia trying to create a new life beyond her secret mutant status. At first, she really tried to keep a normal civilian life, but it's difficult when you're rescued from a dark place by a man dressed as a mummy ninja calling himself Moon Knight. So, anyway, working as an occult detective makes her travel around the world, and it's cool because it gives her a lot of stories... Until her feet touch New York's ground. It's all downhill from there.

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader; Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader; Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader.

Warnings: +18 romance; angst; fluff; smut; violence; torture; gore; cursing; pseudo harem; not following 100% mcu events; feelings. English isn't my first language, so please be kind. chapters have their own warnings, too, for safety.

MAIN STORY CHAPTERS (coming january)

Prologue [off the record]

1] Lo Hecho Esta Hecho | on a rainy night, y/n is rescued by moon knight, and for a while, london becomes her home. but no one can really escape fate, not when your former lover is death herself.

2] Nuns on Cocaine | maybe traveling around the world solving cases and dealing with cryptids isn't that bad, unfortunately someone decided that was a great idea to play around with the occult and scientific shit, now y/n needs to clean some superheroes' mess.

3] Boss Bitch | y/n isn't one to be intimidated. yes, her memory is shit and she can't really explain her knowledge, but she knows how things go. she can deal with vigilantes, their work similar to hers, there's no glamour or riches. but fuck superheroes and their super shit, y'know? even if they're hot and gorgeous as fuck.

4] Voulez-Vous? | there's an expectation in the air, a tension that's not only about want or need. of course, there's a fricking bomb and a targed on her back. if only she could remember why. at least she has the devil on her side.

5] Seal It With a Kiss | a crush, a casual fling, a passionate night, a you're made for me, a can't lose you now, a maybe im already falling in love. but y/n will deny it till the end. she's not going soft. she'll lie through her teeth, but a promise is a promise, even if you don't say the words out loud.

6] Murder On The Dance Floor | she should have seen it coming. of course, nothing is that simple. she's not jealous of their past, but she can't ignore the feeling of trying to keep up with them. she's stuck in the middle. now isn't fun anymore.

7] People Disappear Here | she knows every one of them has a terrible past (and ghosts), but this chaotic dirty nightmare is hers, so fuck it. she's going swinging it like the devil. maybe it's time to finally be the boring grown-up.

8] No Good Deed Goes Unpunished | her past officially came like a wrecking ball, nowhere to run or hide. with her memories back, she wishes everything was different. and then there's the most important question: how much does a life cost? she doesn't know, she can't fucking die.

EXTRAS:

moodboards: y/n | natasha romanoff | bucky barnes | matt murdock

characters list: moon knight boys; tony stark; clint barton; steve rogers; frank castle; wade wilson; bruce banner; logan; kate bishop; yelena belova; maria hill; fury; thor; scott lang; wanda maximoff; pepper potts; peter parker; stephen strange.

[lexosaurus]

Hello people who are getting into Danny Phantom through dpxdc!

I am not a dpxdc blog, but I am a gen dp blog. Here's a few things you should know about us:

👻 Most of us do not like Butch Hartman, the executive producer. We typically ignore him now. What you may not know is that while he was the "business guy" and the one who pitched the show, beloved artist and character designer Stephen Silver is actually the one who designed the characters for Danny Phantom (and, presumably, his team). Not only that, but he has also designed characters for many other shows of that era, including Kim Possible.

👻 Yes, we call ourselves the "phandom." We also, jokingly, sometimes put a ph in front of other things, like calling a fic a phic. It's a bit—don't take it too seriously.

👻 Yes, we have a subgenre of our fanfiction dubbed as the "dissection fic." While I may be a bit biased (as I've written a few), I think it's pretty good. You may enjoy it too if you like angst, who knows.

👻 No, you did not miss an episode, we collectively "made" an OC named Wes Weston who had the same character model as Danny but with a different color pallet. We just thought it was funny. You can read about his story here. The tl;dr is that he's the town crazy conspiracy theorist, he's the only one who knows Danny Fenton is Phantom, and he is constantly trying to prove it but nobody believes him. You remember Dib from Invader Zim? He's like Dib.

👻 On the contrary, you remember the finale of the show? That's okay, we don't either. Phantom Planet who? Never heard of her.

👻 But on the topic of adding things to fanon, the show's been off the air for decades. We're still around. Naturally, we've added things and made different AUs overtime. Different creators have different AUs they like, but you don't have to prescribe to any of them if you don't want. If you're confused about anything you see, feel free to pop me or anyone else an ask and we'd be happy to explain!

👻 There's also different bits of lore that were hinted on in canon that we've expanded. Things like ghost cores, half-ghost biology, worldbuilding with the ghost zone, ghosts having obsessions, dynamics at the school, etc. You're free to adopt or ignore whatever you'd like.

👻 The show is no ATLA, and it's a bit dated for its time, but overall it's a fairly fun background show you can throw on while you're cooking. If you've never seen an episode, I highly recommend watching at least a few fan favorites. I made a list here a while back, and I think it still holds up pretty well.

👻 We host a LOT of events. There's a full calendar of them here. You can assume these are crossover-friendly unless the event coordinators state otherwise (like in the case of phic phight). Feel free to join some!

Welcome, and have fun!

[lisenberry]

WIP Wednesday Thoughts        

Working title:  There’s smoke seeping out of your bloody teeth (but you’re home somehow)

(From 28 by Zach Bryan)

Recovering Price x Recovering Reader

A/N: I have way too many WIPs at the moment, but this one came out of nowhere and I’m wondering if there’s something more here.

It’s a little darker than my usual, but somehow rides the line of more fluff than angst if you can bear with me through the backstory.  I’m also seeing a trend where I love to paint Price as a complete mess and struggling with himself.  I just know he has some Big Repressed Feelings buried deep in that broad chest.  Like, the Captain takes care of everyone else on missions but needs more help than he lets on in the real world.

CW:  Accidental overdose, Addiction/Recovery, Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous, a whiff of PTSD, single parent/recovering addict Reader, written with afab/fem reader in mind, but it came out fairly neutral. Overall heavy subject matter, but with some hope/humor to follow.

John fucked up.  He knows it, Kyle knows it.  And now Kate does, too.

He’d promised his sergeant that he’d lay off the whiskey, but he didn’t tell him about the pills.  The oxys and the benzos.  And sometimes, when things got really bad and he got in a little too deep, the ketamine and fentanyl. 

It was pure luck that Kyle found him.  That he was worried enough to kick the door in, strong enough to pull him out of the bathtub, and quick enough to do CPR until the ambulance arrived with the Narcan. 

He hadn’t meant to end it.  His life, that is.  Just the never-ending pressure in his brain.  The headaches, the sensitivity to light, everything being so bloody fucking loud.  Two decades of explosions, gunshots, and crashes had racked up on him, each one a tithe to be repaid down the line.  And it seemed they’d all come due at once.

In the aftermath, Kate had paid him a visit when he’d been ready to check himself out of the hospital, and she’d given him a directive.  It wasn’t even an ultimatum.  There was no other choice. 

Get help.

She wasn’t kicking him off the team.  She wasn’t even putting a note in his file.  The military wouldn’t know, other than an extended personal leave signed off on by high enough names no one would question it.  A 30-day stay in a doctor-supervised substance abuse treatment facility, and another 60 days at home with weekly check-ins.

Who he told other than Garrick would be up to him.

He agreed, of course.  It was his last chance to get his shit together, maybe even more than he deserved.  The look on Kyle’s face when he regained consciousness would be ingrained on his brain for the rest of his life.

“I always thought it’d be Ghost.  Never you, Captain.”  It wasn’t disappointment that clouded the kid’s eyes with tears, but fear.  That it could happen to any of them if they weren’t careful.  That the danger didn’t end when they came home.

Price hadn’t asked for help, but he knew when to take it.

Which is how he met you...

He tried to attend four to five meetings a week.  They were usually at night, after dark, when the urge to settle into his chair with a bottle of scotch and a few extra Percocets was all he could think about.  When the distractions of the day faded and he was alone with himself. 

If he could hold the urge at bay long enough, in the company of others, even if he just sat and listened, then it would pass like a mad dog thrown a bone.  And then he could go home in peace, until the dog came back around again.

In the beginning, he jumped around to a new meeting each night.  There was St. Stephen’s, St. Giles in the Fields, St. George’s, the Salvation Army, and the Tenant’s Hall.  Some were for beginners, and others just for men.  He didn’t want to become familiar with any particular one, preferring instead to lean on the Anonymous side of the program.

He sipped his tea and ate his biscuits, all from the back row.  Quietly reflecting on the opening speaker, and the stories of hope and struggle that followed.  At first, he found it hard to relate.  Kids who got hooked on drugs in school to escape from abusive parents, or former gang members and dealers looking to buy their way out of poverty and the system that abandoned them.

He’d been born into money, went to good schools.  His demon didn’t come at him until later.  It had taken its time and made roots into an already established foundation.  Like a parasite, it didn’t take him young, or weak.  It took him when he was at his strongest and broke him down from the inside out.  He was already infected long before he saw the signs.

He had no one else to blame, and didn’t think he’d find much sympathy from telling his story.  He didn’t want it, anyway.  He just needed to get through his 60 days and be back on a mission again.

But then one Friday evening, he walked into your regular 7pm meeting in the basement of an old church and everything changed... 

It was the best around, because they had a small children’s area in the next room, with a library and a sweet old nun who would read books and watch the kids for free.  It had become a local favorite for parents without childcare, and the group had grown as close as a family. 

There were a few of you who took the snack duty very seriously.  There were no stale, day-old donuts or flavorless boxed biscuits.  Instead, the spread was enough to rival the set of the Great British Baking Show.  Cakes and puddings, shortbreads and tartes.  The coffee was freshly brewed, not the cheap instant granules.

It had made you very protective, still always a little wary of newcomers, as against the spirit of the program as that was.  It had become your safe space.  Where you brought your children, and shared your biggest regrets and darkest moments.  And mainly because, despite the progress you’d made in your recovery, you’d never fully be able to trust again.  To look at another person and not see a potential threat. 

Outside the church, you knew where the dealers stood waiting to find you on an off day.  Where the pimps lingered in the dark alleys ready to meet you when you were broke and desperate.  They were the obstacles you could see.  Like a video game level you’d failed so many times you could jump and duck and kick your way a little further with each respawn.  You already knew there was a bad guy waiting on the other side of that door and all the tricks to avoid him.

It was harder to tell with the quiet, six-and-a-half-foot tall, bearded man in the beanie hat and combat boots slumped in the back row.  He’d popped up about a week ago, and always arrived exactly five minutes early.  He'd wait patiently until the snack line died down and load his plate before sitting in the same seat, closest to the door.

He hadn’t shared with the group yet, but offered a few pleasant nods and greetings to anyone who’d initiated a conversation.  It seemed rude not to reach out, if for no other reason than to gauge his intentions for yourself.  Was he here because he was serious about his addiction, or was someone forcing him to come?  Some set number of days on his coin before he’d be free from his sentence and never be heard from again.

It didn’t matter, and it wasn’t any of your business.   

But that didn’t stop you from looking over at him a few times during your share, only to find him paying close attention.  His serious features unreadable. Enough to make you stumble on your words and lose your train of thought.  Everyone there knew your story already and could probably recite it for you.  It just helped to recount the good parts, along with the bad.

“Did you make these?” he asked afterward, a rumbling voice breaking through your thoughts as you sat in a folding chair sipping the last of your coffee. 

He held up a half-eaten salted caramel chocolate chip blondie.

“Yes, those are mine,” you answered with what you hoped was a polite smile.

“I thought I saw you bring them last time I was here.  Fucking delicious.”  He popped the rest of it into his mouth, catching the crumbs with his thick dark beard.  “But your hair’s different, isn’t it?” he added, once he’d swallowed his bite.

You reflexively raised a hand to your head, remembering with a laugh the events of your day.  You’d nearly forgotten the fiasco at work a few hours before.

“I work at a training salon.  I let the students experiment on it when there aren’t enough dolls.”  You didn’t have time to fix it before you had to pick up your kids from their afterschool program.

“It’s green.”

“Very green, yes.”  You found yourself smiling again.  Before that, it’d been black with purple tips.  “Who knows what color it will be next time.”  You stood and folded up your chair.

And tried not to read into it as he took it from you promptly and stacked it over with the others.

“Reason enough to come back and find out, then,” he called over his shoulder.

And you didn’t miss when he stopped to grab the last blondie on his way out.

[dykerory]

2025 Book Bingo!!

My dearest @batmanisagatewaydrug issued this challenge and here I am listing the books I intend to read in 2025! Under a read more because I'm not a monster

Literary Fiction: Our Share of Night (2019) by Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell

Short Story Collection: Alien Sex: 19 Tales by the Masters of Science Fiction and Dark Fantasy (1990), edited by Ellen Datlow

A Sequel: Don’t Fear The Reaper (2023) by Stephen Graham Jones

Childhood Favorite: When You Reach Me (2009) by Rebecca Stead

20th Century Speculative Fiction: The Time of the Ghost (1981) by Diana Wynne Jones

Fantasy: To Shape a Dragon’s Breath (2023) by Moniquill Blackgoose

Published Before 1950: Wuthering Heights (1847) by Emily Brontë

Independent Publisher: Creatures of Passage (2022) by Morowa Yejidé, published by Akashic Books

Graphic Novel/Comic Book/Manga: Something is Killing the Children Book One (2021), by James Tynion IV, art by Werther Dell’Edera

Animal on the Cover: Coyote Rage (2019) by Owl Goingback

Set in a Country You Have Never Visited: Let the Right One In (2004) by John Ajvide Lindqvist, trans. Ebba Segerberg

Science Fiction: Finna (2020) by Nino Cipri

2025 Debut Author: Needy Little Things (2025) by Channelle Desamours

Memoir: Camgirl (2019) by Isa Mazzei

Read a Zine, Make a Zine: Leaving this one blank for now! If anyone has any zine recommendations I'd love to hear them!

Essay Collection: Unquiet Spirits: Essays by Asian Women in Horror (2023), edited by Lee Murray and Angela Yuriko Smith

2024 Award Winner: Linghun (2023) by Ai Jiang, winner of the Bram Stoker Award for Superior Achievement in Long Fiction

Nonfiction: Learn Something New: Abominable Science! Origins of the Yeti, Nessie, and Other Famous Cryptids (2012) by Daniel Loxton and Donald Prothero

Social Justice & Activism: Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (2019) by Sabrina Strings

Romance Novel: Such Sharp Teeth (2022) By Rachel Harrison

Read and Make a Recipe: The Sopranos Family Cookbook: As Compiled by Artie Bucco (2002), by Allen Rucker, David Chase, and Michele Scicolone

Horror: SOUR CANDY (2015) by Kealan Patrick Burke

Published in the Aughts: Abandon (2009) by Blake Crouch

Historical Fiction: The Hacienda (2022) by Isabel Cañas

Bookseller or Librarian Recommendation: Leaving this one blank for now as well! If any booksellers or librarians want to recommend me a book so I don't have to talk to someone in real life. I'd love that.

[pearlofthesirens]

Everything's gonna be okay- Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem!Reader

first time writing for a fandom omg might as well start writing for cod more. thank you to @xxshadowbabexx for this writing competition, i'm so happy to participate <3 summary: After Simon found himself waking up after another nightmare, his significant other reminds him that he isn't alone in this world pairing: Simon Ghost Riley x Fem!Reader warnings: she/her pronouns used, nightmares, Simon's past, toxic relationship with father mentioned, slight cursing now playing: Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez word count: 1193 words(one thousand one hundred and ninety three words)

"I wish you would've told me," "Told you what? That I get nightmares which eat me alive? That I've always been this fucked up?" "..that's not what I meant, Si." Hearing the familiar nickname slip off her tongue despite how he yelled at her snapped him out of the shaken state he was in. He turned to look at the doorknob, contemplating on whether to twist it open or not. It had been more than half an hour that he locked himself in the bathroom, splashing water on his face and making excuses to not come out. He didn't want to see her, not when she had witnessed him scream as he woke up from his nightly terrors and swat her hand away with such force. All she wanted was to comfort him, her gentle rubs on his face was all he needed at that moment. Then why did he refuse to open the door and face her?

"I want to help, Si. I want to be there for you like you have been for me all this time." He looked at himself in the mirror, the face he dreaded to see every day. He wore the mask for a reason and as much as Johnny pestered him for the real reasons, it had always been more than just hiding his face for safety. His dusty blonde strands and brown irises remind him of a bastard he shouldn't be thinking of. The bastard he took care of when he just had enough, the bastard who tyrannized not only him, but his dear mother and brother. His lover on the other side of the door seemed to be in love with all of him, the scars, wounds, bruises, even the face he thought he would despise all his life.

"You're more than your father's son. You're Simon, my Simon.." Simon thought of his mother often, Tommy and Beth too. Simon also thought of having a little critter like Joseph crawling around the house, someone whom he can call his. Someone he can raise with the love of his life. Someone to let him prove that he indeed did not turn out to be the person he had sworn to loathe for an eternity. Simon wished to have a family he would love and cherish. But he did not trust himself.

"Do not listen to the voices in your head, Simon. They're lying to you. You're worth it, you're worth the troubles. I'm here to help and I'm here to stay. Please..please let me in. Please let me help you, Si." Hearing her voice break was the last straw and he couldn't torture himself with solitude anymore. He opened the door very slowly, surprisingly avoiding the creaking of the hinges which much needed some greasing. He looked down to find her little face peering into him, her curious eyes always searching for something. Under her scrutinizing gaze, Simon felt the tiniest droplet of water roll down from his forehead to his lashes, down to his chin. Her hand took his, squeezing his fingers softly before she stood on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He let go of every insecurity and every doubt he had about himself, snaking his arms around her waist.

Dipping his head down and into her neck, he took the longest breath in and inhaled her all so familiar scent. Simon thought she never needed perfume, her body odor was so enticing and comforting to him that he'd rather not fill his nostrils with anything artificial. His arms tightened and he let out the softest sniffle, burying his face even further into her neck. He felt two small hands rubbing his back, running over the muscles he spent hours in the gym to build.

Before meeting her, Simon thought that crying in front of his partner was the stupidest thing possible. How would it look if a 6'4 military man was breaking down in tears in the arms of his little love? He was supposed to be a man, he was supposed to be the one providing her comfort and not the other way. But at that moment of vulnerability, his ego had been overtaken by the need to feel her close. She was the only one who would see through Ghost and not once judge him. "This..I'm so sorry, lovie..I-I can't make it stop." "I know, darling. I know. But I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here, Si." Simon never once understood how she broke through the tough walls he had built, how she took his ice cold heart and warmed it up at the cost of her patience. She had always been so gentle with him, even when he felt frustrated and yelled profanities at her, not realizing that she was not one of the people who would disregard how he felt. She taught him how to apologize with words, she always reassured him that he could be gentle despite not once finding peace in his tragic life. And yes, he was gentle with her. He did apologize with words every single time he ended up saying something he didn't mean.

He had a ritual to calm her down when she was upset, the reason being him or not. He would sit her down on his lap, wipe her tears and place tender kisses on her forehead. He did everything in his power to not see his angel cry, specially not because of him. So why was it weird to him when she did the same? Why did it not feel right when it was her turn to show how much he deserved to be held and comforted too? "I'll tell you this again and again and again. You're worth it, Si. You're worth the stupid arguments we get into sometimes, you're worth the silent treatment, you're worth all the wrong things you've once said to me. You wanna know why?" He only nodded his head, not bringing his face out of her neck. "Because I see the change in you. I see you trying, I see you improving. You've gotten so much better at expressing yourself, you apologize with words, you think twice before saying anything to me. I know there had been moments you've slipped up, but that does not mean that you don't deserve love." And suddenly, everything she said made sense to Simon. He had improved, he tried his best to be better, to be gentler, to be kinder. To her and to himself. So what if he had said something he shouldn't have? He knew how to recognize his mistakes and appropriately apologize for it, he knew how to make up for his behavior. He knew how to say sorry without bullshitting, he knew how to admit that he had done something wrong and he knew how to fix it. And she had been by his side all the time, refusing to be anything but kind, loving and understanding. How could he not love her? "I swear, lovie..I ain't leaving you till the day I die. I promise" "I love you too, Si. Wanna get back to bed?" "Yeah."

proofread ✓ pearly venus, 00:44 240227

[shaisuki]

❝ SLEEP, SLEEP, SLEEP. ❞

FEATURING. ISAGI YOICHI, BACHIRA MEGURU, ITOSHI RIN

SYNOPSIS. falling asleep is nothing but when you say their name while asleep things change.

ISAGI YOICHI

“you can sleep here, (y/n).” isagi commented. your eyes droopy and a telltale sign of you being sleepy. patting his shoulder and you only nod.

“thanks, yoichi.” putting your head in his shoulder and you were off dozing while the train ride starts.

busybodies step off on the train platform. smoothing out your skirt to avoid someone getting a peek under those isagi could feel the softness of your thighs, a blush adorning in his cheeks at what he was about to do.

“yoichiiiii.” you whined and isagi froze. he awkwardly laughs, explanation in the tip of his tongue but it stops when he sees your sleeping face.

isagi's cheeks burned at the call of his name, followed by a smile. you were too adorable in isagi's eyes and he smiles. shaking his head. before holding your jaw to better sleep in his shoulder.

he was all smiles until the stop.

BACHIRA MEGURU

he's bored and he's looking for his own sort of entertainment and what's more fun to pull a prank to his chubby girlfriend's sleeping figure. draw a funny emoji's to your face.

his bright, yellow eyes widens in amusement, a pen in his hand and the tip of it is ready to create cat whiskers in your cheek not until you move and a word that stops bachira from what he was doing.

“meguru, love you....”his golden irises widening at your choice words and his heart swells of love.

bachira can't help but to chuckle and presses his forehead to yours. kissing the tip of your nose.

“i love you too.”

ITOSHI RIN

the screen coming from the television was the only source of light in the dimness of the room. a stephen king movie playing. rin's gaze remain fixated on the tv screen.

his expression remains stoic throughout the movie. his heart beat pumps a few beat. adrenaline running in his veins. the blood it was everywhere, watching as a character dies in the movie. he was in the most climax of the movie not until a voice interrupted him.

"rin." a familiar voice calls out to him and rin looks below him. his girlfriend fast asleep while the movie plays in the background.

did he misheard you, probably he didn't. it was your voice but you where asleep or his head is playing with his imaginations. too much horror movies, he thinks and rin continues to watch not until he hears you call again.

your head in his thigh and your hands holding the hem of his sweater. cheeks squished in his thigh and rin's heart made a badump sound.

placing his palm in your cheek, "rin." you call out again and a ghost of a smile appears on rin's face.

sighing, you're too good to be true sometimes. if only you knew how much he loves you.

rin just rests his palm into your cheek and caress the skin there. his gaze returning to the television screen and for the first time, he showed emotion while watching those horror films.

BAROU SHOEI

“oi, where the fuck are you?!” barou groans, you were supposed to be helping him clean your shared apartment but it's been half an hour since you went missing.

barou didn't need help with cleaning. he can get the work done faster but he can't refuse his girlfriend to help him and it would only get him the cold shoulder if he refused.

now, he's stuck waiting for you. rubbing the spot where mold and spores would gather when ignored. you were supposed to be bringing him the solution that would surely rid the annoying mold in days and his patience is running out.

his heavy steps echoed through the place. first stop in the bedroom and damn, he's right. your plump form sprawled in the bed while you slept.

he can see the rise and fall of your chest and barou kept silent. admiring his girl and for somehow his annoyance dissipates while looking at you.

“shoei....” barou's eyes slightly widens. his red irises scanning all over you if you're awake but you only changed your position to the side, your soft belly squished to the side.

another call of his name was heard and somehow barou's expression softens. are you that attached to him to call his name in your sleep and pride swells in his chest. you were truly made for him. a queen fit for a king.

maybe he could skip on scolding you for today. yeah. maybe. nope. you two are cleaning today and barou pinches your cheek.

“wake up. now” he firmly said and you whined from being disturbed in your sleep.

you only stare at him through your half-lidded eyes. trying to adjust your eyes to your surrounding.

“sho-chan.”

“we have to finish cleaning.”

“okayyyy.”

standing up and you wrap your arms around him. barou only grunts. accepting the hug you gave him.

“that's enough.”

“eh, stingy.”

a tick mark appearing on his forehead and you only laughed.

“we cleanin' now. happy? can i get hugs later?”

“yeah. after this.”

the little things for you.

[itsbackwoodsbby]

Locker Room Sex

Stephen Curry x Black Fem Reader

A/N: I wrote this for my pleasure. I AM TWENTY, so there is an age difference. I am sorry if you don't like the age gap, but I still am obsessed with this FINE ASS man so don't judge me, judge ya mammy.

Warning: Age Gap! Dirty Talk! Cheating! Swearing! Unprotected Sex!

Summary: You were messaging Steph Curry for a while and then eventually he ghosts you. You were desperately in need to talk to him. For reasons. For answers, on what exactly is going on. You sneak in the Golden State locker room and you definitely get more than answers.

You greeted and told the guys goodbye and goodnight as they left the locker room. He was the only one left in the locker room taking a shower. He turned the shower off and came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. You look at his body. He was very toned for a 35 year old. You bite your lips and start imagining him with the towel dropped.

“Uh… can I help you?” He asks you kind of sternly. You look at him nervously. “Uh yeah. May I get an interview?” He looks at you, “You’re not an actual interviewer.” Reading right through your bullshit. “I’ve heard of ABC, ESPN, and Ballislife. Never have I heard of Big Balls Entertainment.” He reads your fake ass badge your best friend made you.

You swallow hard and you try to come up with a new lie, but you can't. Honestly, you only here to talk to Stephen Curry and possibly even fuck him. But you obviously know the plan is blown, so you walk out. He grabs your arm.

“You know fans can’t be back here either. You can go to jail.” He tells you. You sigh. “I just wanted to see you. You stopped replying to my messages.” He looks at you, “Wait, you’re the girl that I was snapping.” You bite your lips and shake your head before you look down. “And when you stopped texting me, I had to find a way to see you and talk to you.” He starts examining your body as you are talking. “Aye my eyes are up here.” You say sternly. He chuckles, “My bad.” He clears his throat. “Look. I have a wife. I have three kids. I can’t be doing this with you.” You look at him and nod you head. “You’re right. I’m so sorry.” You say as you get up to leave the locker room.

You don’t know why you thought your plan was going to work. You two are 15 years apart. He has a family. You just want him back though. You guys were only talking and sending nudes through Snapchat. It shouldn’t have got this deep as in you sneaking into the Golden State locker room.

A voice comes back to the locker room. It’s Klay. Steph and you run to the shower room and you hide in there as Steph puts on some clean boxers and goes back into the locker room. You listen to their conversation until Klay says he has to go home to see his doggie son, Rocco. He leaves and it’s just you and Steph. You were about to leave and he grabs your arm again.

“Nah. Wait a minute. You can’t leave yet.” He says. You look at him confused, “Maybe we can hook up one time.” He says before caressing your body. “You just said you don’t want to be caught up with me.” You say biting your lip as he squeezes your boobs.

Steph wanted you now. It’s only because he remembered his wife was going for two weeks for a cooking show. The kids were with his parents. So you could be his little cum eater while his wife was away. It wasn’t like Ayesha would care. He can just dispose of you when he got done.

You strip down and go inside the shower room taking your clothes with you. You wanted shower sex and he wanted the same. He smiles at your naked body before you disappear and follows you. He takes his boxers off and pushes you down on your knees.

“You said if you were to see me, you’d suck it.” He smirks. “Do it.”

You start with his tip and slowly lower down an inch. His dick is really big and thick. It’s kind of hard to swallow. You’re a big girl though, so you push through. Eventually you’re damn near eating his dick up.

“My balls need love too.” He says and pushes your head down. You bite your lip before you start sucking on his balls. He smiles and groans even more. You smile knowing you're doing a good job. “Fuck, I’m going to cum.” You go back to sucking and stroking his dick with one hand and massaging his balls with the other and he rolls his eyes in the back of his head. “Fuck, you’re a good at giving head.” He says. “Young ass eater.” He chuckles.

He starts fucking your throat. You start gagging at how rough he is getting with you, but it only motivates him to be rougher with your throat. He hits the back of your throat once and he starts nutting in your throat. You swallow it all. Eventually, he pulls out to see if you did. You smile and stick out your tongue. He smiles.

“Good girl.” He says. You stand up and he admires your wet body. He sucks on your neck and lowers to your nipples. He starts rubbing your clit and he smiles. “You want me to return the favor now or later.” You bite your lips, “Later. I need that dick.” You say.

He picks you up and slides you down his dick. You gasp and hang your mouth open, moaning a sweet note in his ear. He starts thrusting in and out of you. He proceeds to go faster and choke you a bit.

“You take this dick so good, baby girl.” He says groaning in your ear. “And your pussy is so fucking wet.” You whimper. “Ooh shit. You’re so deep. You’re so deep.” He smirks and goes harder. Your legs begin to shake. You’re on the verge of climax already. “Steph. Chill. I’m going to cum.” He chuckles, “Nah. Take it.” He says and goes harder. You try to grip the wall. “Mm, fuck daddy.”

He turns the shower off and heads back to the bench. The steam from the water was making it kind of hard to see. He lays you down with his dick still inside you. He pulls out and starts eating your creamy pussy. You start moaning and gripping the edges. His head game was vicious, it almost made you cum. Then he rams his dick back in roughly. You scream out. He chokes you.

“Chill the fuck out. You can’t be too loud, ma,” He says. You bite your lips. He begins to pound your shit in. “Ooh. Ooh Steph! I told you to chill. I’m going to cum.” He smacks your boobs and goes deeper. “Nah. Say my name.” He groans. “Oh daddy.” You say low. “Loud ma.” He says. “Fuck! Daddy! I’m coming.” You say louder. He chuckles and starts back pounding you. You let out a long moan before creaming his dick up. He looks down, “Yeah. That’s right. Paint this dick.” You cover your face as he starts going deeper. You try to push him away but he just pins your hands above your head.

Suddenly, he starts going faster and faster then you feel his warm liquid fill inside you. He groans in your ear as he does it. He pulls out and watches you leak out both of your juices. He looks down at you as you look at him. The two of you laugh at each other. You sigh and get up.

“Now, I got to shower.” You say and run to the shower. He joins you and you two just shower. You two get dressed and walk out to the parking garage together. He kisses you and rubs all over your body. He practically didn’t want to let go of you. You very slowly break the kiss and giggle. “Chill.” You smile. “You should come with me tonight.” He says. You think about it. You don’t mind but you would rather lay in your own bed tonight. “Nah. I’m going home. Maybe if you need me again, I can stay over.” He smiles, “Ight, lil ma.” You blush and get in your car and he gets in his. He honks his horn as a goodbye and you go to your house.

[abbysimsfun]

Sims In Bloom: Generation 2 Pt. 63 (The Old Man at the Museum)

The Brindleton Light circled from Deadgrass Isle across the bay as a drizzling rain added moisture to the air.

Conrad hadn't forgotten about the ghostly growl he'd heard on his last visit with Heather, and now, more than ever, he needed a distraction.

He hopped on the ferry and made it to the isle just in time for the museum to close, but he hadn't come to the isle for the artefacts.

An old man walked down the museum steps and offered a friendly wave. Conrad froze. He looked strikingly like his own father, though the closer he walked, the resemblance faded.

His eyes were darker, hair straighter, nose too thin, and maybe he was shorter, too. But for a split second, he swore the man could have been Stephen Gordon himself.

"Detective Gordon! You just missed last entry." He leaned down to give friendly Gord a welcome greeting, too.

"Y-you know me?"

"I know everyone! Lived in Brindleton all my life, and when a new copper moves from the big city to our sleepy town, word travels faster than a greyhound."

Conrad smiled at the kindly old man. In the distance, he thought he saw a light flicker through one of the lighthouse's ground floor windows. "I was hoping to check out the Brindleton Light tonight, anyway."

"You like investigating ghost stories in your spare time?"

"Can ghosts turn the lights on?"

The old man's gaze followed Conrad's toward the base of the tower, but all the windows were dark. "No one's lived in there for close to 150 years, but ghosts are crafty souls!"

He chuckled warmly, and Conrad felt at ease in his presence. "Tonight I just needed something to keep my mind off...something else."

The old man nodded, understanding enough from Conrad's stance not to press for more. "Well, if it's a ghost you want, the cemetery is the place, but some say the ghost of the old lightkeeper's dog still stands guard over the tower, long after his master's death. The bulb runs on electricity now, but they say his old dog's ghost still watches the bay for passing ships and barks to warn them of the rocks."

"Sounds like a very good dog," Conrad mused, ruffling Gord's fur. His dog barked happily.

"I could show you around if you like. I've got to lock the stairwell door, anyway."

Conrad smiled. The old lightkeeper and his dog knew the importance of spending time with those they loved. "You know, I'll definitely be back to take you up on the offer another time, but I shouldn't be here. Not tonight."

The old man tipped his cap with a genial wave. Conrad and Gord circled the lighthouse once, but he couldn't find any sign of someone who might've turned the lights on.

He pet Gord on the head. "All these local ghost stories, talk of Grim Reapers and ambrosia... They must have me seeing things at the lighthouse."

Gord offered a friendly bark before they returned to the pier and boarded the ferry to the mainland. Rain misted against his face as the boat carried them toward the faint lights dotting the shoreline. He walked back up the hill from the wharf to Sable Square, taking his time and collecting himself.

Heather was quiet when he walked through the door.

"You waited up for me. I'm sorry."

"I got called in to work for an emergency tum-readjustment, but I would've been up anyway. What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry I just took off. I wasn't trying to scare you, but I had to get my thoughts together. Losing my mother so young was really devastating. I always thought I wouldn't have kids because I didn't want to leave open the possibility they could lose me before they're ready, like I lost her. I love Ash, but it's not the same. He still has you and Malcolm."

Heather sympathized and tried to comfort him. "If you're not ready to be a father, I understand. But when you walked out tonight, I knew more than ever I want a family with you, Conrad. Not just Ash and me, plus you. I love you so much, but if you're never going to be ready..."

"Remember what you said the night I first brought up moving in together? I'm not ready tonight, but I've got months, right? I feel unprepared and totally unready for anyone to call me 'Dad', but you are my family, Heather. And Ash. And this little one, too."

"Conrad, are you sure? This is a bigger commitment than moving in together."

He tried to comfort her fears with a smile. "When Gord and I were out tonight, I spent a lot of time thinking about what my Dad would say if he was here. After we lost my mom, my dad and I leaned on each other for a lot, but I spent years trying to navigate my grief without burdening him further, and I was angry."

"Conrad, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. He worked a lot and we didn't get to talk much. He didn't like to talk about her, and all I wanted to do was keep remembering her out loud to keep her with us. After he died, I just bottled everything, and when Gord came along I thought that would be it. Me, my dog, and my career."

"But then you met me..."

He took her by the hand and stood from the sofa. "Meeting you changed everything. On my way home, I realized my father showed me until the day he died what family meant to him through the life he gave me. It's not that I don't want this. I love you, I'm just scared. But I'd jump through flame portals to keep you and Ash safe, and I'd do it to protect our baby, too."

He crouched down speak to her small bump. "I promise I'll be ready to be the father to you that my dad was to me."

Heather looked at Conrad with a loving gaze. "We'll always be a team, and you can talk to me about anything, including your parents. You never say much about them, and I never want to pry."

He stood. "I think I know the first thing I need to un-bottle. I only had a few boxes worth of stuff to move when I got here, but I left my parents in a box under the bed in the guest room. You have so many photos of your family and friends all over the house and I told myself there was no need to clutter the walls with more... But I think I need to take my parents out of the box."

With this turn of events, the Nesbitt-Gordon household began planning for a new family member, and Conrad took an important step facing his past. ->

<- Previous Chapter | Gen 2 Start | Gen 1 Summary | Gen 1 Start

[strrvnge]

The 1

Part 3

Am I posting again after a year on a random sunday? Oh yes.I suggest listening to I hate it here by taylor swift, cynical one by tv girl, tomorrow never came by ldr.

Summery; After months of not talking after he conforted you in your party Stephen receives an invitation for your pre-wedding party.

Your fingers smoothly trail down the slippery yet soft and lustrous fabric of your white dress. Silk is known for its elegance, a symbol of femininity and luxury. You find it cold to touch, you hate how it fits your body and how self conscious it makes you feel.

‘’Darling!” You look up quickly as your soon to be mother in law approaches you.

‘’This is not the dress we picked’’ she says surprised looking you up and down

‘’Yes after you left the store I picked something myself’’ You follow her scrutinising gaze looking down at yourself, desperate to please her eclectic style.

‘’Darling’’ she tries to sound sweet but you can pick up on her patronising tone. She tilts her head and looks at you like she was dealing with a child that mismatches their clothes. ‘’Why do you do this to yourself? White makes you look…pale darling. Like a dead person. Didn’t we agree on eggshell?’’ she says touching the fabric with a disgusted grimace.

‘’I didn’t like eggshell’’ you explain trying to ignore how she is now shamelessly touching your stomach

‘’The fabric also looks cheap, nothing like the one we picked together. Did you forget we have to impress that executive? James really counts on us to make a great impression. Are you really feeling your best self in this?’’

It wasn’t a question so you don’t bother to answer. It was also true, you don’t feel your best self.

‘’You also put on a little weight, didn't you, darling? Let me take this out of your hands. A moment on the lips…’’ she shakes her head clearly disappointed in you. She takes the small pie from your hand and passes it to some waiter she barely bothers to look in the eyes.

‘’Mom aunt Mary is here’’ James comes and wraps his arm around your waist but to you it feels more like a lifesaver.

‘’Oh I should go greet her before she finds the bar’’ she chuckles and puts on her fake smile as she leaves.

‘’Did you see that? She literally took the food right off my hands’’ you turn to James but he is looking at his phone refreshing his emails.

‘’Well she does this for you. So you’ll look good in the wedding pictures that will last for a lifetimeyou will look back on for a lifetime’’ he says giving a last glance at his phone’s screen before looking up at you with a grin ‘’ Anyway you can always be thinner, look better’’

‘’James just because you work in finance doesn’t mean you have to quote Patrick Bateman on a daily basis’’

‘’This is a wedding cheer up . Now give me a smile’’ you look at him confused but also disgusted. You force yourself to smile but it doesn’t reach your eyes.

‘’There you go! Oh I need champagne. Do you want some?’’

You nod your head and before he goes to leave he look at you

‘’That’s not the dress mommy picked right? She’d never pick this type of dress’’ “Mommy picked that dress? Wow people change with age he looks again at the dress almost disappointed before brushing it off and leaving.

You sigh and try to compose yourself and stop that feeling of throwing up. You look around you a haze of familiar strangers and then your gaze is instantly drawn to the door. You’d give the world for an escape but before your melancholia could kick in you spot himdhdjdjjs.

Your eyes meet and you feel as if you’re seeing a ghost from the past. He walks to you

“Stephen. What are you doing here?” your tone is demanding and million different ideas as to why he us here run in your head. You panic scared he’ll destroy everything.

‘’Hi” he can sense your panic and “I was surprised you even invited me. I guessed you invited me to the wedding out of politeness but the rehearsal dinner? I don’t even see your mother in here’’

‘’I didn’t invite you’’ you say bluntly despite how rude it sounds. He looks at you puzzled and you feel relieved he isn’t here to cause any trouble.

‘’James mentioned to his mom about you and she probably invited you’’ he looks at you in disbelief but

‘’Because we went to collage together?’’

‘’No because you are an internationally acclaimed neurosurgeon and now a fucking superhero- wizard?’Please keep in check your inflated ego”

‘’Someone’s feeling bossy in white’’

‘’Don’t start and…Don’t call me that’’ you say pointing your finger at him

‘’Not a big fan of weddings so tell me are are brides supposed to be so stressed?’’ he makes another attempt to lighten up the mood but he knows it's futile.

‘’Do you want me to go?’’ he says in a serious tone and tries to hide his disappointment

‘’Dottie will want to parade you all around. She’ll kill me if I tell you to leave’’

‘’Does she know about…’’ he asks and you look at him with wide eyes full of panic that kills him.

“Don’t be absurd. James doesn’t know so she doesn’t either’’ she quickly says and he has to bite down his tongue to not ask you why you’re so ashamed.

‘’So where is your mom? I was excited to see her’’ he sighs and looks around the crowd of unknown faces.

‘’She couldn’t come’’ you quickly say and look down at your feet embarrassed with the bad lie.

‘’To her daughter’s rehearsal dinner? Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?’’ he chuckles, clearly not buying it.

‘’What’s up with the third degree? Are you suddenly Sherlock Holmes?’’ you ask defensively in a stern expression to stop this conversation.

‘’Just small talk. I forgot we’re beyond that. I should leave you to it and go get a drink’’

‘’Don’t’’you mutter and immediately reach for his hand. You feel a jolt of electricity that causes you dread. You feared that if you ever touched him again you would have a hard time pulling away.

His heart sinks as you touch his arm, gently but firm like always but also slightly different than what he remembered.

As you realise what you did you retrieve your hand and look down almost ashamed with yourself.

“Come. Let’s not keep Dottie waiting to meet your grace” you say and you take him into the crowd.

Stephan had made a name for himself in the medical field, he lost his talent, saved the reality and even though he felt a chamged man he realised nothing could beat the suffocating feeling social parties caused him. The supposedly intimate and close party before your wedding had turned into another social event perfect for networking and aimless small talk.

He had changed yet everything around him felt the same.

You and your mother in law introduced him to enough people to make his hand hurt from all the firm handshakes but despite the endless boredom and headache it caused him all it took was one glance at you and he found the power to do anything.

It surprised him how something you work really hard for and have the best intentions for, dreams and expectations suddenly just doesn’t work out. The second year of your dating he tested if your last name suited his name as well as his last name fitted your name. It did and if he was to ever marry you he wouldn’t mind taking your last name. Now he stands beside you a few hours before the wedding and he can go along perfectly with every person you introduce him to. He fits into your life perfectly like a piece on a puzzle and he hopes you can see it and keep him around.

Then your husband comes and wraps his arm around your waist and Steohen realises that the puzzle might be complete. Yet he looks at you longing for you. Can you see that? Does it make you feel something or it makes you indifferent? He knows there is a crowd and he has done things to hurt you but can you see beyond that and into his soul like you always knew so well to do?

“So how are things besides the wedding? How’s work?” he asks as you two escape to the terrace for some peace after all the endless socialising.

“I quit my job actually” you admit and his eyes widened in shock.

“You did?” He asks trying hard to hide his surprise “I thought you loved your job”

He doesn’t think he knows. How could he forget how passionate you were about your profession, how you loved taking care of people. Plus you looked really good in the white coat, a thing he seemed to love at the end of your shifts./whenever you worked the same shifts.

“I have changed Stephen” you say your voice is firm and assertive and you scan his face trying to see his true feelings. Shock, surpise, disappointment and for some reason sadness? You hated the reaction of your parents but you feared his.

“I mean I still love it but I wouldn’t mind a break. Anyway I’ll be busy. We bought a new apartment and after our honeymoon we’ll do a renovation, then there is the interior design and his mother helped me get into a committee of some organisation. There are many things I’ll have to take care of”

All it takes is one look to notice his obvious disappointment, your explanation is too weak to convince him. Truth to be told you are disappointed in yourself too, becoming a type of woman you never expected to be, one that he definitely doesn't recognise.

You both nod your heads and a pause follows. You both dropped your fake polite smiles you wore and the tension is thick with all the unspoken emotions and expectations neither of you dare to put into words or even make sense of. You look inside your gaze falling on your mother in law.

He follows your gaze and for a moment he wonders if it is a preview to the future. Is that the woman you look up to now? The woman he once swore to himself to love forever?

‘’Your mother in law is…she is something’’ he says trying to keep himself from chuckling.

‘’Come on. Since when did you become polite? Just say what’s on your messed up mind” you look over at him eager to push him to say all the ugly things you know he is thinking.

‘’She is a bitch” he says, his eyes locked with yours carefully waiting for any shift in your expression.

“She is the upper east side charity event, wamable socialite turned philanthropist with a tone of repressed feelings and dreams and an affair with the pool boy from her Hamptoms estate on the way”

“That’s very bold and awfully descriptive” you say, never taking your eyes off him. For a moment there is a mutual understanding, a raw feeling and a silence that you find unbearable.

“Well you are right. If she see me eating she will literally kill me’’

‘’Why? You look perfect’’ he smiles slyly and shamelessly looks at you up and down, taking in every curve and contour of your body.

‘’She ordered the wedding dress two sizes smaller’’ you say to make your mother in law like a bitch so you’ll laugh but you notice how his smile slightly falterns at the mention of the wedding dress.

“Well James isn’t far from the finance guy stereotype. Do you remember those insufferable business school guys we met that one time at a party? They were wasted uet couldn’t stop explaining to us the stock market”

“Don’t talk about him like that” you say but your tone isn’t demanding or shows that you're trying to defend him in any way. It’s something you wished you could say as his soon to be wife and actually mean. Also James did try to explain stock to you like a million times.

‘’I love the dress’’ he says hoping to change the subject and for one more time he looks you up and down internally struggling to realise how someone can be so breathtaking.

‘’No you don’t’’ you smile politely knowing it is only an attempt to cheer you up but it hurts him how you don’t seem to trust him even in something as simple as a compliment.

‘’No, no. I would say it’s not your style but I don’t know you -no sarcasm intended. It does look good”

He almost wants to lick his lips as his gaze trails down your body. The soft and thin fabric is a good reminder that your body is exactly as he remembered.

“Silk…silk is very flattering to your body’’ he mutters and you can feel your cheeks burn. You can’t believe how once again he has flustered you even though you shouldn’t want his compliments and the fact that on that day he is the only one who complimented you and was genuine makes this situation even more impossible.

‘’Why did you come here?’’ you ask softly and he is surprised with your gentle tone.

‘’I was forced”

He had promised himself to be guarded around you knowing that after all the history between you two he shouldn't be so vulnerable because your anger, even though understandable , would leave him lethally wounded. He never was one to betray such promises yet all it takes is a tiny sign of softness from you and he is crawling to your feet ready to be vulnerable and honest even if you’ll kick him away.

“I didn’t want to come because I thought you wouldn’t want to see me. But then there was the invitation for this little party so I was foolish to think it was a mixed message and you wanted to patch things up. I know it’s silly-’’

‘’It’s not silly” you give him a warm smile, the idea of having him by your side melting your heart.“Patching things up sounds nice’’ you say but you can see how he doesn’t believe you.

‘’Stephen I know I said some things-”

“You said things you ment and you were right. I had no right waltzing/bursting into your life like this and I had no right hurting you in the first place. I only ever want you happy and.. now you are” His palms are sweating as he says the million times rehearsed on the mirror speech and he prays it doesn’t sound emotionless. He says with all the courage he had managed to gather those past months.

“I am?” you hate how it came out as a weak question but right now you’re dying for some validation that you had made all the right choices and now you are happy.

“Yes. Which girl doesn’t dream of living in the big city, in one of the best neighbourhoods with a husband she loves-” he starts off himself a bit impressed with himself and how courageous he is. He feels genuinely like the bigger person even though that fact that he had prayed you would call off the wedding.

“It is a dream indeed” you cut him off and take a big sip from your champagne, his words doing more damage than good.

“I’m happy for you. You deserve to live a dream” he continues not picking up how you avoid his gaze. You don’t reply and he wonders if it was too much and you find him cheesy and ridiculous. He hates how he has to second guess himself and your once effortless conversations felt like walking on eggshells around you.

“Anyway I also came to bring you something before the wedding” he says and you watch as he searches in the inner pocket of his suit.

He is holding a small bracelet. Not designer, not gold or silver but an old well preserved bracelet of yours you had almost forgotten about. He remembers the day you had given it to him. It was your lucky bracelet and whenever you wanted to cheat in some exam it always brought you luck. It was his first big surgery and to help him feel less stressed you had given it to him.

“It's yours. You forgot it when you packed your things that day. I shouldn’t have kept it all those years but I did. You should have it”

For a brief moment his hand touches yours as he places the bracelet in your palm. The metallic bracelet feels cold against your skin but all you cared about is how your hand almost burned where he touched you.

“You can wear it. Or James, I don’t know”

You look up at him desperate to say so many things but unable to speak a word. You don’t want the bracelet. Its memory has faded and you can barely remember the version of you that loved it. There is a strange and foreign feeling in your heart you can’t point your finger to but you want it gone. You feel as if all those years you were searching for something lost and now that you came upon it you can’t remember why you were looking for it or its importance.

You don’t remember how you once were someone who believed in luck who felt fearless and ready to dominate the whole world and make it hers. Now you feel little and all you wish is to fade away. No one would notice and it is both sad but also a relief.

“I think you should keep it”

A sudden feeling of escape hits you and you want that version of you to survive being somewhere else and not here where you are.

Stephen can’t bear your rejection. He wants to keep it as much as he wants to keep you but most of all the memory of you two together, the memory of himself when he had it all. He wants that version of himself to be with you, he wants you to be happy and if he can’t be with you then he can compromise knowing part of him is.

He can see you changing no matter how he wished he was blind. His memory of you is fading and you’re turning into a stranger he’ll never get to know.

“I can’t keep it. It's yours. It’s your luck and I’ve been holding onto it for longer than I should”

And then it hit you. He didn’t come here to patch things up but say goodbye. Your heart is racing and you bite down your tongue to keep your emotions in check.

“I see. You want to hold your own luck in your hands” you give him a fading smile the only thing keeping you from saying something bitter and mean. You know you can’t blame him for letting go no matter how much want to. “we should be the masters of our own fate”

“I’m not a good person. I wasn’t back then and I doubt I am now but you make me hope I can be one day. Your forgiveness means more than you could ever imagine” he takes your hand into his but you feel no comfort.

“Which makes me sound like an asshole asking you for something on your wedding day but nevermind. Now let me help you with that” he lets go of your hand and takes the bracelet.

“Maybe it can be my something old for the wedding” your eyes are fixed on his face and you hope your words will hurt him deeply. You curse yourself for being such an awful person.

“Maybe” he gives you one of his charming smiles and the bracelet is set on your wrist.

“You’ll make a wonderful bride” he looks at you affectionately, his eyes lingering on your face as if he is trying to memorise every little detail.

“White is your colour for a reason right? I bet you’re getting married just for that. Of course the attention and the gifts” he says and no matter how much it hurts you can’t help but laugh.

“Also the gown” you laugh your words tasting bittersweet in your mouth.

“The gown of course. Is it puffy, promise me it’s puffy. Puffy with bows” he asks with pleading puppy eyes.

“Please I would die” you chuckle and as you place some of your hair behind your ear the charms of the bracelet hit each other making a long forgotten sound.

“No? I find it pretty classy”

“I hate you” you say and you smile with perhaps the wider smile you ever had over the past years.

“Fuck I have to go” he looks at his watch and you can feel a knot in your stomach “We have a situation at the sanctarum”

“Long story. I honestly would have found someone else to deal with it but I didn’t think I’d stay herr for long. I thought you'd kick me out the moment I stepped my foot in here”

“Like I have ever been abusive with you” you roll your eyes with his dramatic comment.

“Only in the ways I liked it” a sly smirk plays on his lips but you don’t care and smile back. You don’t care if tomorrow is your wedding, you certainly don't care if he is your ex and that comment is bringing back memories that are not so innocent.

“Go back to your magic word you disgusting wizard”you say and playfully hit him on the arm. There is a burning sensation you’d like to hold onto for eternity.

“I want to say domestic abuse but I don’t think I can’t” he looks at your happy face and he now believes it that soon to be brides are shining with joy. He only wishes he could cause that joy.

“No, no you can’t” you chuckle and a pause follows. Despite the deafening silence there are so many things unsaid.

“I’ll see you tomorrow” he rests his hand on your shoulder, his eyes locked on yours and he wonders if you can pick up on his lie. He can’t bear witnessing your wedding if now just your smile makes him feel as if he was looking directly at the sun.

“Okay” you softly say and you catch yourself hoping the next day would come as fast as possible just to see him. “I’ll see you tomorrow”

The sensation of his touch is still lingering hours after he left. The bracelet is still on your wrist and you hate how strange and unknown it feels against your skin. It doesn’t belong and it shouldn’t.

“Do you think I’m stupid?”

James’ question snaps you out of your thoughts and you look across the room at him surprised and puzzled.

“What?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? As a person I mean.” he stops unbuttoning his shirt and takes a step closer to your bed where you are sitting a second ago lost in thought. You don’t understand his question or how to answer it.

“Where were you all night long?” he notices the slight change in your expression but doesn't wait for you to reply. “I wanted to introduce you to some guys from work and some relatives and I just couldn’t find you”

“I was there of course” you say and smile sheepishly as if that would put him at ease.

“Do you really think I don’t see the way he looks at you? That face he makes whenever I put my arms around you or kiss you? Or do you think I’m blind and didn’t notice how you two completely disappeared all night long?”

You bite the inside of your cheek and you just look at him. He doesn’t look disappointed or hurt or even angry and that makes you feel even more nervous.

“Stephen and I are friends” the lie feels so easy to say but too heavy to hear and believe. You don’t believe yourself and he doesn’t believe you either.

“Friends don’t look at each other like that” he says and looks at himself in the mirror as he takes off his tie.

“After your birthday party I had to ask your friends since you didn’t tell me, turns out you used to date for six years. You had told me your past relationship meant nothing and I believed you. But six years? Six fucking years of your life and you never cared to menrion him once?" He scoffs and you wish he could strangle you with his tie.

"James-"

"You told me your past relationship meant nothing" he lets go of his tie and takes another step closer to you.

"It meant nothing. And if you minded then why did you let your mother invite him here?" You ask defensively.

"I believed it meant nothing until he came here and you disappeared. A day before our wedding"

"That party was suffocating. I wanted a break" you finally admit, unable to hold back or bite your tongue anymore.

"Oh give me a break” he laughs dryly before he looks at you and pauses for a moment his expression turning serious again. He kneels down and takes your hands into his while you just watch him in shock.

“I'm not perfect. I have flaws and I know I can be...a jerk sometimes. I talk too much but somehow manage to never say anything of substance. I make stupid shallow jokes and do stupid things to fit in and hide how...I'm not as sophisticated and as real as you even if I have the money. I know all that but I'm trying. I'm not the perfect husband. I'm probably not even a very good person but I try. And I want to work on us. But despite my flaws I don't think I deserve to be lied to like you did"

Your expression softens and you feel a pang of guilt and shame. His once smug demeanour had shifted into something more vulnerable and raw, a moment so rare in your relationship that makes you uncomfortable.

You look down at him as he shakes his head trying to hold something back but he makes a scoffing sound and looks again at you.

"And youre so so difficult. Whining and complaining about my mother, me, the prenup, your job and don't deny it because you might not say something but I can see your face. So here I am putting all the effort and trying to make everything perfect for Miss Perfect and you’re flirting and hiding away with an ex. So please get off your high white horse because you're deeply flawed and frankly too broken to be judging me or my mother or my friends or my family. Our fucking family”

You’re taken aback but he seems pleased finally letting out he has been holding inside him for far too long. He stands up and walks to the mirror continuing getting undressed as if nothing had happened. You look at him for a moment shocked, hurt and confused.

He doesn’t seem to pay you any mind and you stand up walking out of your bedroom. Your head is foggy and millions of thoughts are running through your head none of them clear. You can feel the cold air hit you but you have no clue where you’re headed just that your steps are determined. Despite the unclear thoughts you feel oddly There is knock but you don’t seem to process the noise till the door opens

“What..what are you doing here?” Stephen looks at you confused.

After minutes of walking without realising where you’re going his voice brings you back to reality and you feel like you’re waking up from a dream. You take a small step forward and you kiss him, nothing gentle or soft but an intense passionate kiss that conveys all the frustration and desperatetion and longing.