#now everyone can stop being mad at me for the cliffhanger last week

[akitokihojo]

Monster - Chapter 16

chapter index

dedicated to @keichanz bc I made her a deal on twitter the other day.

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Inuyasha wasn’t breathing. For all he knew, his heart wasn’t even beating.

Kagome.

The nails of her fingers were pinching into the tentacle with force even the hanyou could see. There were tears beginning to streak her face. She was scared. She was so scared. But, in her eyes, all he could see was how desperately she wanted to be with him. Right at his side, in his arms, protected behind him, it didn’t matter. She just wanted to be with him. Inuyasha’s ears pinned to his head in response, a horribly guilty feeling taking root not just in his core, but in his entire body.

Naraku’s wicked smile grew wider, bearing teeth as a rumble of laughter escaped his tongue.

How could he get to her? Inuyasha needed to move fast. He needed to act now. His sword was too far out of reach, and his claws had already failed him against the disgusting tendrils that held him captive. If he could get his hands on his sheath, it could act as a magnetic force and pull his sword back in. He’d done it before. The problem was, it was clutched within the tentacles wrapped around his hip.

He began to grow frantic. The appendage wasn’t budging, and the puppet’s laughter was only growing further taunting. Scrambling, Inuyasha tried reaching for Tessaiga, extending his hand as far as it would go, scraping his forearms on the rocky terrain as he tried crawling, pushing himself, prying himself free, anything. He wanted to scream at the goddamn sword to come to him. He was wearing the fucking sheath; why couldn’t it work this way? Kagome was in trouble. He needed to save her. He didn’t have time to weasel the sheath out; the sword should obey his command. Inuyasha wasn’t opposed to begging, and if his throat hadn’t had a thick, bulbous lump form in the center of it, he would be openly pleading for Tessaiga to come to him.

“Inuyasha.” Her voice was small, frightened, and if his ears could sink back any further, they would have instantly. That tone from her, that fragile, broken tone was worse than when she yelled. It was like she wanted to say something more, but she couldn’t. The rest of it all was caught behind her trembling frown and large eyes.

He could see it on her face. He could tell what she wanted to say, and he didn’t want to hear it. Not like this. Not here. Not now. If it was only under duress, then not ever. She would only say those words under these circumstances because she’d be giving up. Inuyasha couldn’t handle that form of heartbreak. Not from her, and he surely wouldn’t survive it, himself. No. He could still save her.

The hanyou halted immediately as he heard her gasp, golden eyes flying back to her to find that Naraku had jerked her toward him. Their faces were an inch apart, her tears were gliding down to the tip of her nose with how he held her, and the sick bastard caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

“Scream for me.”

Inuyasha flashed cold. The monster threw Kagome so violently, and her blood-curdling scream rang in his ears. Everything in him stopped. He was struck frozen. The vital pieces of him shattered instantaneously, and the fragments of who he was pierced his lungs, his heart, his stomach, his arteries.

“No.” He whispered pleadingly.

“No.” He said a little louder, his lungs beginning to pump as warmth gradually returned to him. Kagome wasn’t dead. He could still fucking save her. Fuck this puppet, fuck Naraku. He could still save Kagome.

With a seething rage that quickly boiled over, engulfing him, sending every little bit of his instincts into hyperdrive, Inuyasha reached for his sword again, but suddenly feeling a rush of turbulent, demonic energy soaring their way, he hastily stopped and ducked down. He felt the tight grip Naraku’s tentacle had on him slacken, and without a second thought, Inuyasha shoved the fucking thing off, scampering forward to snag the hilt of Tessaiga and jump to his feet.

“Fuck!” Sesshomaru growled, his knuckles white with how tightly he gripped his own sword. His presentation with it was strong, stoic, and his light, amber eyes glowed with the hint of venomous red.

Inuyasha didn’t have a second to waste to question anything. The puppet’s flesh was mending from Sesshomaru’s attack, and while its attention was on his half brother, the hanyou needed to go.

He raced to the edge, but a sharp smack on his abdomen had Inuyasha flying backwards. Quick enough this time, he stayed on his feet, stumbling where he’d landed, but swift in throwing himself right back into his objective. He dodged the root that had just assaulted him but was caught by another, bringing a lethal growl from his clenched teeth.

“You’re not going anywhere, half breed!” Naraku yelled, yet again throwing him back.

Inuyasha wasn’t going to bother wasting his breath on this puppet. He wasn’t going to entertain back-and-forth’s, or play the insult game, or even threaten the vile creature. What he was going to do was get to Kagome as fast as he fucking could.

The hanyou raised Tessaiga over his head, blisteringly hot as he felt the demonic energy power through his sword, and he swung so hard that the sharp edge of the metal sliced into the ground beneath his feet. His attack damaged the earth as it surged in Naraku’s direction, and just as the assault ripped at his flesh, Inuyasha took the open opportunity to try and sprint by.

It was infuriating how his attempt was, yet again, thwarted. How was the thing so goddamn fast when it was damaged?

“Inuyasha, stop!” Sesshomaru demanded. “Fight!”

“Don’t worry, half breed. You’ll join your wench in hell soon.”

“Fuck you!” Inuyasha roared, swiping his sword at the tentacle that threatened him and chopping it clean off. “Sesshomaru, take this! I have to rescue Kagome!”

“You have to stay!” His brother returned, readying his sword for another attack. “You have to fight!”

“I can’t!”

“You fucking coward!” Sesshomaru shouted, a vein bulging in the center of his forehead. “Fight Naraku!”

“It’s just a puppet! It’s not him! You’re not going to find your precious child with this creep; it’s a decoy! His heart is in his abdomen! Finish him off! I don’t have fucking time for this!”

“Inuyasha!”

“Sesshomaru, if your daughter was the one thrown over the cliff, you wouldn’t fucking hesitate to jump after her! So, why the fuck are you stopping me!? I know you saw Kagome go over! I won’t tell you this again! If you stop me, if Kagome is dead because I couldn’t save her in time, I’m going to kill you, too!” The glower, the radiance in the hanyou’s eyes was positively murderous. He meant what he’d said. Anyone who got in his way from this point further was in the crossfire, and he would swing his sword without hesitation.

Nevertheless, Sesshomaru tried to convey his message silently. He wasn’t sure if his younger brother would receive it; he was daft, and when his vision was clouded by urgent matters, he was unreceptive toward hints. Still, giving it effort Inuyasha was unworthy of, Sesshomaru furrowed his brows a little deeper, his stare unwavering, his hardened jaw unrelenting as he ordered the half breed to trust him. And, to his surprise, it seemed Inuyasha understood. Though his shoulders remained squared, his glare relaxed an ounce, and with extreme reluctance, he turned his fearsome attention back in the direction it truly belonged.

The puppet, now completely regenerated again, began to laugh. “How adorable.” He disparaged. “The two dog demon brothers are going to work together to take down their foe.”

Kagome hit the water. Hard. The air was knocked from her lungs, and large bubbles escaped her mouth as she coughed forcefully. The hit and the current had her disoriented, and though she was trying to regain control over her body in a hasty manner, she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried to kick, to move her arms, it was like she had no proper muscle control and was at the mercy of the unforgiving river.

Desperately, she needed to breathe. Kagome was trapped beneath the rolling water, tossed and turned, and pushed down every time she thought she might be right-side-up. Finally working in her favor, the current pulled her up and she was able to gasp deeply, choked, but she got in some oxygen before her head was thrown beneath the surface again.

How was she going to get out of this? How was she going to survive before asphyxiation stole what was left of her? Already, due to her fight against the waves crashing on her, Kagome felt her lungs begging for air. So easily, her muscles grew fatigued, but she pushed and pushed. Her legs never stopped kicking, though they pumped a little less powerfully. Her arms never stopped grabbing for the surface, though it always felt like it was too far.

Again, the current had some compassion and it brought her up for a short breath of air, pushed her under, then pulled her up again where she was able to swim the tiniest bit. The river was too wild, though. It was too strong. She barely stood a chance against it and Kagome worried that, at this rate, she wouldn’t survive long enough to find shallow land and pull herself ashore.

Something thick wrapped around her core, and she felt herself being pulled. Kagome’s back was pressed against a hard surface, and whatever held onto her had a grasp that refused to let go. She wasn’t fighting it. She couldn’t fight it. Truthfully, she was too dizzy to properly comprehend what, exactly, was happening. Her head was brought to the surface, and Kagome gasped loudly for air, hearing the same from whomever was immediately behind her.

They were shoved beneath the water again, but she could feel herself being guided, pulled, and in an attempt to aid, she pumped her legs as hard as she could. Thankfully, it wasn’t long until her head was thrusted up above the current by the very arms that held her tight.

“Grab onto this!” She was instructed, directed closer to a thick log that was wedged between boulders. “Don’t let go!”

“I can’t!” Kagome admitted, trying but slipping each time. Her muscles still didn’t want to work with her, and the texture of the bark was more slimy than rough, giving her no grip to cling to.

“No, I’ve got you Kagome! I promise!”

“I’m gonna slip!”

“You wont! I’m right here!” He swore. “Just grab on for two seconds!”

She did, latching on as tight as she could as she felt the body pin her to it. Water was flooding over, in their faces, and Kagome had had to turn her head to the side so she stood a chance at breathing.

“Listen closely! The moment we move, we’re gonna be pulled under again! I’m not going to let go of you! Just swim, okay? I’m going to get us to the bank as quickly as I can!”

Kagome nodded in acknowledgment.

“Take a deep breath! Now!”

With a gasp, Kagome released her grip on the log just as she felt his thick arms wrap around her waist again. She was yanked to the right by his force, and with everything she had, she pumped her legs. It was excruciatingly tiring so quickly, it pushed the air from her lungs, and she felt that pressure, that burning, that ache for more oxygen all too soon. She had to last. She had to trust them. Their hold was unrelenting, so she knew they were doing everything they could to help her.

She was brought to the surface, and Kagome coughed violently, finally feeling loose ground beneath her as she tried crawling through the deeper water to the more shallow edge. Those hands never left her, guiding her, pulling her completely out of the throws of dangers, away from the water where she stood on her hands and knees on the smooth surface of rock. The coughs and chokes racked her torso painfully, and a large hand rubbed her back, urging her to let it out as water spilled from her mouth.

“There you go. There you go, Kagome.” He reassured as more of the river forced its way from her lungs. “Atta girl.”

With her chest pumping, not quite done coughing, Kagome glanced up to see Koga beside her, and instantly, she felt a little safer to lean into his touch, allowing her muscles to give in just for a brief moment. The wolf demon gladly supported her, continuing to rub her back as he, too, breathed heavily.

“How did - how did you…?” Kagome sputtered as she sat up again, watching Koga crawl the short way over to the rocky wall and lean his back against it.

“I was trying to sneak up on the fucker. Saw you go over and abandoned it immediately. Jumped in after you.” He admitted, sweeping the soaked, rogue strands of hair that escaped his ponytail from his face.

For a second, she was grateful. She would have died without his help. But, then it was like the situation hit her ten fold, and a new panic began to build. “You should have - you should have helped Inuyasha. He’s -“

“Woah there.” Koga tried to calm her down as she unsteadily attempted to push herself to her feet, falling instantly. She was persistent in her failed attempts, though. Again, she tried to walk, and her muscles immediately gave out. And, then she tried to settle with crawling, but even then, she couldn’t even bring herself to crawl straight, falling off balance as soon as she got going. “Kagome, chill. Stop. He’s fine. He’ll be fine. Sesshomaru’s with him.”

Kagome met him with stricken eyes, a more pressing expression appearing on her face. As if that was further back up to her argument than anything, and the wolf demon couldn’t fight the chortle that escaped his lips.

“No, I promise you, Inuyasha will be fine! Relax!” He insisted, grabbing her waist to essentially pin her to her spot so she’d stop trying to scurry away. “I know it’s unsettling, but Sesshomaru’s after the puppet. Inuyasha dying would mean Naraku won, and Sesshomaru’s just that prideful to want to prevent that at all costs.”

She breathed some, trying to steady herself as she processed what Koga had said. All she could do was hope he was right. Kagome was trembling so bad, she could barely move her body correctly, so what help would she even be right now? She’d only get in the way. If Sesshomaru was there, it was still two against one. At least Inuyasha wasn’t fighting Naraku alone.

“How did you know it was a puppet?” She asked.

Koga presented the bruised cut in the midsts of the heeling process on his left cheek. “We were lucky enough to run into one yesterday. Because of that, we knew the scent. And, we’d caught onto yours and Inuyasha’s, so we ran over.”

“I never considered Sesshomaru the supportive type.” Kagome remarked.

“He’s not.” The wolf confirmed. “He just wants to make sure everything that belongs to Naraku is shredded to pieces. Who cares, though? It works in your guys’ favor.”

“So, you’re traveling with him now?”

“Despite his requests that I burn in hell and leave him alone, yeah. Don’t worry, he’s gotten used to me.” Koga chuckled, but his smile quickly faded as he realized Kagome was struggling with herself. He’d thought she was cold, but the way her fingers continued to shake wasn’t just a shiver. Of course. She’d almost just died. Her eyes were on the rock beneath her, her frown was subtle but present, her cheeks were pale, and as if he had a passage into her mind, he could tell she was worried. “Kagome?”

“We need to -“

“No.” He knew what she was going to say. She was so easy to read right now, and the tears brimming in her eyes basically confirmed his suspicions. “He’s fine. This is Inuyasha we’re talking about. The most stubborn bastard on the planet.”

“I need to help him.”

“He can handle this.”

“I need to help him.” Kagome repeated, more fervently that time.

“Kagome, do you trust him?”

The conjurer looked up at him, a warm tear gliding down her cold cheek. Of course, she trusted Inuyasha. She trusted him more than anybody. It wasn’t even a question she needed to consider, and in reply, she nodded her head.

“Then, have faith in his strength, as well. He needs it right now. You think he’d let anything happen to himself when, for all he knows, he needs to go find you? That fucker doesn’t know when to quit, believe me. He doesn’t know I was there, he doesn’t know I saved you. Inuyasha’s going to be just fine, I fucking swear it.” Koga said, never breaking the contact his bright blue eyes held on hers. Gently, he pushed some soaked hair away from her face, sweeping it behind her ear. His voice took on a softer note then, trying to get her to relax just a little. “I’ll get you back to him. I will. You’ll see. Lend me some of that trust for a little while, okay?”

He was right. No matter how difficult it was to swallow her pressing concerns, her anxiety, Kagome decidedly gave him the respect he deserved and accepted his kindness with a nod. After rescuing her, Koga had earned that much.

She had the saddest pout and the wolf demon didn’t know the first thing about helping her. Poor thing looked like she’d been through the wringer lately, and just barely surviving a near-death experience now topped it all off. Her silent tears meshed with the water she was still drenched in, and for the sake of her vulnerability, he resisted in crossing any boundaries that would potentially make her uncomfortable. No cheek stroking or tear cleaning, no unsolicited, tender gestures, no unwarranted touching.

“You want a hug?” He carefully offered. He was happy with how quickly she nodded, crying just a little harder as it all came crashing down on her. She just needed to ride the worst of her nerves out. It was the comedown from the rush of adrenaline; he knew that stress very well.

Koga scooted a couple inches closer to the conjurer, pulling the woman into his chest so she could slump against him as he rubbed her back. Patiently, he waited for her to calm down, and as she sat up straight and rubbed her eyes clean, Koga turned around onto his knees.

“Climb on.”

The sweat leaking into the gash on Inuyasha’s forehead was burning worse than when the blood got into his eye, the salt in his sweat creating a sizzling sensation. It inadvertently served as a grounding effect, keeping Inuyasha in the present as he stood not too far from his half brother, facing off with the faux Naraku. This shouldn’t be taking so goddamn long, but alternatively speaking, the tick of a second passing felt like minutes to Inuyasha. All it meant was Kagome was getting further and further away, her danger increasing.

Even though Sesshomaru had pinned him with his glare, communicating an urgent vexation that the hanyou begrudgingly felt was important to heed, they were still failing to work together. Inuyasha and his brother had different brands of fighting, and the both of them were domineering in their own way. It wasn’t like combat with Kagome, where they bounced off of one another and utilized each other’s strengths to advance. Not even close. All he and Sesshomaru were doing here was clashing. But, Inuyasha now knew that the only way it seemed they’d make a difference would be for one of them to swallow their pride and follow the other’s lead - and he knew damn well it’d have to be him to do so. Sesshomaru was too proud and egotistical to ever consider being led by another, no less him, but Inuyasha was to the point where he didn’t give a flying fuck anymore. He shouldn’t even be here right now, but since he was stuck, he needed this fight to come to an end.

“Got a plan?” Inuyasha asked.

“Kill it.” Sesshomaru bluntly stated.

“It’s regenerative properties are fast.”

“No, you’re just slow in following up your fucking moves. If there’s an opening, you take it. Your mind is on that girl. It needs to be here. In this fight.”

“I don’t much see you finishing that thing off! If you’re so goddamn fast, seal the deal, Sesshomaru!”

“It cannot be me! Don’t you get it? I’ve faced my puppet and sent my message off to Naraku! He knows I’m in the race! This is yours! If you want him to know where you stand against him, kill this thing, Inuyasha! Rip it apart! Tell him you will not stand for this with your actions! Or, are you actually as weak as your human heart makes you out to be?”

“What is this, a motivational speech?” Inuyasha ridiculed, leaping to the left to dodge a flailing tentacle from the freakish puppet.

“Goddammit, you worthless piece of shit, just kill it!” Sesshomaru fired, swinging his Bakusaiga down to throw an attack at Naraku. His arm disintegrated, part of his chest breaking off as well, but again, his idiotic half brother didn’t move quick enough.

“I don’t have fucking time for this!” Inuyasha yelled, his voice cracking with his fury.

“You’d better fucking make the time! Kagome is dead, Inuyasha! To run after her would be a waste! You have nothing better to do now than to fuck that thing up!”

“She’s not dead!”

“She is dead! There’s no fucking way she’d survive that fall! Do not delude yourself!”

“Sesshomaru, shut the fuck up!”

“Grow up, Inuyasha! Do not die the way father did! Do not die because of the love of a human who cannot even fight for herself!”

Irate, Inuyasha slashed his sword with so much force that the wind even caused Sesshomaru to stumble away. He was seeing red, the boiling of his blood effervescent, physically tingling just beneath his skin, and without thinking, the hanyou jumped for the puppet, shoved his claws through the regenerating flesh, and pulled out a wooden object. Tendon-like tissues clung to the “heart,” attempting to pull it back into his body, but Inuyasha refused to let go, holding firm despite the numerous blows Naraku supplied to his temple, his growl turning into a loud and deep roar as he tore the wood away once and for all.

Naraku’s body, the tentacles, the firm spider legs, the roots that made home all crumbled away with a maniacal shout of defeat that would have caused a chill to race down Inuyasha’s spine had he not been in such an infuriated state of mind. Even so, the heart hadn’t been destroyed. In Inuyasha’s hand, skin began to bubble, grow, sprout, engulfing his fist, but he didn’t blink. The hanyou had dropped Tessaiga to the floor and redirected his path toward Sesshomaru, his glower deep and fearsome.

“I don’t care about making you eat your words. I’m going to shove this down your throat so you choke.” Inuyasha threatened, grabbing the collar of his brother’s shirt. “Solve the problem at the root, right? Can’t talk shit if you’re dead.”

Unfazed and basically emotionless, having not moved from his spot, Sesshomaru reached for Inuyasha’s hand, currently covered completely by the building flesh. The only reason he could guess Naraku hadn’t come back fully yet was Inuyasha’s hold on the heart. There must have been damage slowing it down. Releasing a poison from the tips of his claws, Sesshomaru easily pierced the dough-like skin, penetrating the few inches necessary until he felt Inuyasha’s fist. Gliding his fingers upward, he then found the top half of the heart and snapped it. Instantly, the budding demon died away, a demonic essence evaporating free to disappear in thin air.

Before Sesshomaru could say anything degrading, Inuyasha dropped the crumbled wood and used that same hand to grab his brother’s throat, his claws piercing in at the sides. Swiftly, he stepped a leg behind Sesshomaru’s, shoving his weight back so he would lose balance and topple to the ground with Inuyasha’s direction, Bakusaiga slipping from his hand with a clank. The demon hissed, his growl unable to truly come out through the strangulation, but there was little effort in fighting Inuyasha off, he noticed. Despite that, the hanyou couldn’t free himself from his own clouded mind. He was livid, the storm in his chest violent and raging.

“I am so sick and tired of you belittling everything and everyone around you, you pompous fucking prick!” Inuyasha seethed, ignoring the thrusts of Sesshomaru’s palms against his shoulders.

“Enough!” His half brother spewed through choked breaths, but still did not apply as much force as he should have been.

“Father did not die because of my mother. He died for my mother. I’m sorry that that meant he was taken from you too, but I had as much control over the situation as you did. Do not think less of dad for that, and definitely do not think less of the person my mother was.” The hanyou stated gruffly, pressing his claws tighter against Sesshomaru’s throat. “Her being human didn’t mean a goddamn thing when it came down to the punch. My mother was fierce. My mother was a fighter in her own goddamn way. Come on, Sessy, think about it. You know dad. You think I got my fucking attitude from him?”

Finally, Sesshomaru gripped Inuyasha’s wrist, twisting it painfully to jerk the fucker’s fingers off of his neck so he could breathe. He threw a punch upward at his brother, but to his dismay, the half breed blocked the hit by grabbing his fist and pinning it aggressively to the rock beneath them.

“You’re being irrational! Calm down!” Sesshomaru demanded.

“I find it ironic that you want to mock any kind of love when, if I recall correctly, you’re in love with someone that isn’t even real.” Inuyasha snarled. “Kagura is a mutant created of our enemy’s flesh and sorcery, you goddamn hypocrite! Loving a human is disgusting to you, but what about loving an inorganic lump of clay!?”

“Do not speak of her like this!” Sesshomaru growled.

“Or, what!? Am I offending you!?” The hanyou ridiculed.

“Shut the fuck up, you -“

Inuyasha ripped his wrist free from his brother’s grasp, throwing a punch against his jaw to disorient him before going right back to strangling him. His fingers wrapped around his throat much tighter than before, and it seemed he legitimately held the uncontrollable intent to kill this time around.

“She’s fine, by the way.” Inuyasha said, his voice deadly and low as he leaned in closer to Sesshomaru’s face. “Kagome saw her. Kagome was covered in blood, sobbing, had just lost a fucking friend, and one of the first things she turned to me to say was that your girlfriend and daughter were safe. And, you want to look down on her for being human. That human is so much stronger than you.” His voice picked up as Sesshomaru began to struggle against him, trying to pry his hand from his throat as he dragged in a ragged breath of air. “Maybe not physically, but she’s got the strongest soul of anyone I’ve ever met. Being what she is, you know full and well that that’s more than enough to break you.

“You act as if dying for a human is revolting, but your child, what is she? You can’t fool me into thinking you wouldn’t gladly go in her stead, because I know, just like myself and our father, that you would be happy to die if that meant they got to live.”

“You aren’t thinking clearly. Your human heart - your emotions -“ Sesshomaru grunted through clenched words, forcing his brother’s hand away again. This time, he pinched his claws into Inuyasha’s palms, making it difficult to tear away from. “Goddammit, you imbecile, use your ears! Your nose!”

Inuyasha stopped fighting for a moment and froze. What the fuck was he talking about? The scent in the air was tainted with the ruined earth around them and the leftover stench of Naraku’s puppet. He smelled the river water like they were directly next to it, he smelled his brother, he smelled sweat, he smelled his blood. There was nothing he should be catching onto, and it only felt like Sesshomaru was attempting to distract him.

“Stop! Stop.” The demon ordered as Inuyasha turned to attack him again, gradually relaxing his grip on the hanyou. “Just wait a minute, you fucking idiot.”

The hanyou was confused, but he found genuine sincerity in his brother’s amber eyes. Something he’d never before seen and almost didn’t recognize. Within thirty seconds, he caught approaching footsteps. One person. Heavy boots. The scent of them was muted by water, which was why he couldn’t grasp their presence earlier. Inuyasha’s heart was pounding at a horrendous pace, the blood racing through his veins causing his hands and fingers to quake unsteadily, so he stabilized them by gripping Sesshomaru’s shirt to keep him pinned down in case anything went wrong. Who the fuck was coming their way? It was a demon; he knew that much. Was Sesshomaru warning him of this so they could both prepare for another assault?

Koga was surprised at the rate it took for Kagome to grow heavier against him. At first, she was apprehensive to mount his back, to allow him to carry her. She’d insisted she could walk on her own, but the both of them knew she was full of shit and her pride was getting the better of her. Reluctantly, she’d given in, but was stiff against him. He could tell she wanted to run up the mountain, to be rejoined with Inuyasha as soon as physically possible, but Koga needed to make sure the battle had enough time to finish up before he got her back. If Naraku’s puppet was still around, there was no doubt it would target her in her vulnerable state, and while she would be thoroughly protected, there was no harm in preventing the attack altogether. She’d been through enough for now.

For a moment, he could feel her trembling against him, her fingers clenching against his shoulder, but as his strides stayed smooth and unhurried, Kagome seemed to quickly slump along his frame. Before he knew it, her cheek was planted against his shoulder, her hands were gently holding him, her legs were swaying with his gait, and she finally trusted him with her momentary peace.

He could tell she wasn’t asleep, but at the same time, she was somewhere in a lethargic state. Kagome was neither present nor afar. She’d zoned in her meager relaxation, allowing her mind to briefly rest. Her quivering hadn’t quite fully faded; her fingers still twitched against him. She hadn’t completely stopped crying either, and the only way he could tell that, aside from the subtle twinge of salt coming from her, was the warm tears that leaked from her eyes and onto his shoulder, seeping through his vest. The rest of her was cold, wet, shivers that could barely be differentiated from her anxiety racking her body here and there. Koga hoped his heat was helping at least a little, but he knew the only thing that really would was getting her dry and wrapping her in something warm.

The wolf could hear yelling from a distance, and that, alone, was a dead giveaway that Kagome was too exhausted to currently comprehend anything outside of the context of her mind. Good. If she could hear what he could transpiring between the half brothers, she’d have a fucking aneurysm. He didn’t sense Naraku anymore. Barely even smelled the puppet. So, that meant the worst was over with and he could safely bring Kagome through.

It went dead silent as he approached, the crack of a twig beneath his boot sounding like it echoed in a closed chamber with how the attention was suddenly centered on him. Inuyasha was on top of Sesshomaru, his head bleeding, that blood seeping down his face, his hands in a vice grip against his brother’s shirt, but his eyes darting up to him.

“Sorry, we missed out on all the fun. Or - uh - did we make it just in time for the show?” Koga asked.

The rumble of his gruff voice from his back against her chest had Kagome’s attention slowly rising again. How long had it been since she’d dazed? She barely remembered the hike up, but now they’d stopped. Had he really spoken, or was she dreaming it? She couldn’t even tell if she’d fallen asleep or not. Her eyes blinked open to see they were no longer on a path, and it took a moment to really recognize the scenery around. Lifting her head, Kagome propped her chin against Koga’s shoulder to get a look at who he could be talking to and what was going on, blinking hazily until she saw him.

Inuyasha watched Koga amble into the scene, his hair damp, brown vest and dark pants deepened in shade from moisture that was far from drying completely. Beyond that was a person slouched over his back, and his heart did a flip in his chest. His breathing was already abnormal due to all the physical exertion and emotional stress, but as soon as he spotted the woman Koga carried, his lungs began to take on a different pattern. One of anticipation. One of hope.

Long, damp, black waves became visible as they moved their head, planting their chin against Koga’s shoulder to blink their eyes his way, and immediately, Inuyasha dropped his grip on Sesshomaru and sprinted over to her. Kagome. She was alive. She was okay.

Kagome’s legs and arms squirmed of their own accord, frantically working to free herself from Koga’s supportive hold. The wolf murmured a word of shock from her sudden uprise in energy as he kneeled down to properly release her, and she raced toward Inuyasha, crashing into his arms.

“I’m okay! I’m okay!” She rasped before he could ask her to say it, burying her face in his neck as her hanyou hugged her tight.

Inuyasha physically couldn’t speak. He was so overwhelmed by just barely losing her that being able to hold her right now, to know she was alright, had him fighting his knees from crumbling beneath his weight. It was all he could do to thread his fingers through her wet hair at the back of her head and kiss her temple, attempting to communicate with that, but even after doing so, he found it conveyed nothing that he truly wanted her to know.

This should have never happened.

He should have never left her alone in the first place.

He should have been faster. Stronger.

He was so, so, so fucking sorry.

“Took you fucking long enough.” Sesshomaru remarked as Koga sauntered over, holding out a hand for him to take to help him off the floor. Unsurprisingly, the offer was rejected and the dog demon pushed himself to his feet after wiping his bottom lip of a trickle of blood.

“We were washed downstream quite aways. And, I wanted to make sure you guys had ample timing to finish off that puppet. The fuck happened to you?” Koga asked. Sesshomaru didn’t reply, merely shooting a glare at the half breed who was looking over their way, listening in. “No, don’t tell me. Were you being a good, big brother and allowing Inuyasha to let off some steam so that he stayed here? Or, did he actually get the better of you?”

“Oh, fuck off.” Sesshomaru spit.

“You knew?” Inuyasha asked. “You knew Koga went after her the whole time?”

“I figured it out when he hadn’t come up to help. He was climbing the edging of the mountain to sneak in from behind.” His brother replied.

“Then why the fuck would you tell me she was dead!?”

“Use your brain, Inuyasha. I couldn’t tell you anything in front of Naraku. He came here for her, did he not? Therefore, he would have gone stalking off after her if he knew she may have survived.”

Inuyasha actually appreciated that Sesshomaru was tactful enough to cover for the conjurer. It may have crushed him in the moment, but it prevented a chase.

“Also, I could not guarantee Koga was able to rescue her. He’s a wolf demon, not a mermaid. For all I knew, they were both goners.” Sesshomaru said carelessly.

“Thanks, bud.” Koga grimaced.

The hanyou couldn’t even care about that. Sesshomaru wouldn’t openly admit this, so it would be pointless to ask, but it made sense now why he wasn’t actually fighting Inuyasha. He was, for the most part, allowing the altercation to happen so that Inuyasha would stay busy, stay put. He said what he thought would encourage more powerful attacks, and they worked. They were ruthless, but they worked. Inuyasha physically tore the heart from Naraku’s stomach and ended things. And, then he would have ran off aimlessly looking for Kagome had he not been so distraught about what Sesshomaru had said to him.

He was right. Inuyasha had gotten too emotional. But, that was inevitable and it was manipulated to work in his favor.

It wasn’t that he didn’t know how to feel. It was that Inuyasha didn’t know what to feel first, or if there was even a proper succession to process everything in. Nor did he have the opportunity to think about it before Kagome softly caressed her fingers over his cheek to bring him back to her.

Amber eyes drifted her way, a vibrancy in the irises that grounded her, and his shoulders seemed to soften.

“Your head.” She whispered, moving her fingers to stroke away some blood, but Inuyasha gently grabbed her hand before she could.

“Don’t worry about it, baby. It’s fine.” He quietly said in return. Inuyasha never released her hand, holding it close to his chest, trying to quell the tremors that still ailed her.

“Are you hurt anywhere else?” Kagome asked, her frown deepening with her concern.

His stomach was sinking. Inuyasha felt so unbelievably heavy, it was a wonder he was still on his feet at this point. Tossed over a cliff, and Kagome was still more concerned about him. Trembling where she stood, but she still attempted to clean the blood from his face. All he wanted to do was kiss her, but he felt like he’d break the moment he leaned in.

In an attempt of a reply, he pulled Kagome back into his chest, placing a soft peck against her forehead. “I’m okay.”

Sesshomaru cleared his throat. They should be grateful he provided a small moment of respect for their reunion, but they had the rest of the night to be sickeningly clingy. For now, and for his efforts, he deserved an answer.

“Inuyasha mentioned you saw Kagura.” His voice was tense, more stressed than he’d intended to come off. He wasn’t typically one to show these sort of emotions, but he found it was becoming increasingly unavoidable when it pertained to his found family.

“Sesshomaru -“ Inuyasha was firm as he was about to declare this conversation wasn’t about to take place right fucking now, but Kagome silenced him with a gentle interruption. One that clearly told him she didn’t mind. Otherwise, she would have stayed quiet.

“I did. I didn’t get to talk to her, though.” She replied, stepping out of the safety of Inuyasha’s arms to stand on her own.

“Then how do you know she and Rin are safe?” Sesshomaru’s fingers furled into rigid fists. Was he lied to? Was he given the inkling of false hope he’d foolishly clung to?

“I overheard her.” Again, her tone was gentle. She knew this wasn’t easy on him, and she could only imagine the pain Inuyasha’s older brother was in. He may be too stoic to show it, but if her little brother was kidnapped by the madman that is Naraku, she’d be devastated. Picturing it from a parental point of view was like putting a blade through her own heart. Not consistently knowing their whereabouts or the state of their welfare had to be excruciating. “Kagura killed my friend, Kikyo. She was another conjurer. One Naraku once loved and feared. I was there while not actually being there, but the details of that part you don’t necessarily need to know. It’s just an explanation as to why I didn’t get to speak with her directly.

“Kagura didn’t want to kill her. She said she only did it to ensure the safety of a little girl. I feel it’s safe to assume that it was your daughter she was talking about. Rin, you said her name was? If that’s the case, which I’m positive it has to be, Kagura’s doing everything in her power to keep Rin protected. Sesshomaru, your family is okay.”

“How long ago was this?” He only looked relieved by a small degree. His shoulders were still incredibly taut and his jaw was hard and set.

“Six days.” Kagome replied. “And, I know you’re thinking anything can happen in that time, but I don’t feel like Kagura would let anything happen.”

“She’s being punished. Now I know why.” Sesshomaru informed.

Her brow crinkled, disturbance twisting her features slightly. “What?”

“We faced a puppet yesterday. That thing told me.”

“But, she did what he told her to do.” She stated, perplexed.

“There’s no use in trying to make sense of Naraku’s actions, Kagome.” Sesshomaru said, his fists still white around his knuckles as he pressed his claws into the heels of his hands.

“Wait, this puppet said the real Naraku was having an episode ‘underground.’” Inuyasha mentioned. “He distinctly warned Kagome not to bring up Kikyo or else the real Naraku could potentially overhear and come through, but that he was essentially torn apart about her death. If he’s twisted enough to mourn for her after plotting it all, he could be twisted enough to punish Kagura for being the one to end her life.”

Inuyasha felt guilty bringing anything up, but the possibility of the truth of the circumstance had to be discussed. He could tell Sesshomaru didn’t want to know too much more, and he could practically feel that talking so much about Kikyo’s passing was salt in an unsealed wound for Kagome. Be that as it may, she didn’t flinch, didn’t look away, but she broadened her shoulders in bracing. She understood it was an inevitable topic and was going to handle it as best as she could, and Inuyasha was proud of her.

“Rin,” Kagome began, carefully watching the demon’s body language. His intense eyes shifted over to her from the side as he had looked away moments ago. His lips were relaxed together, though the most subtle frown of resentment lingered - one not directed her way but still presented for her to observe. “Sesshomaru, Rin’s safe. I’m not just saying that to reassure you. I can feel it in my gut that she’s okay.”

“Does your gut know where they are located?” He asked, scornfully.

“N-no.” She admitted.

“Then, your gut is useless to me.” Sesshomaru declared, shifting on his heel and walking away.

Inuyasha’s hand found Kagome’s back. It wasn’t worth the energy to argue with Sesshomaru over his tactless statement, but watching Kagome’s chest deflate sadly brought a dull ache to sit in Inuyasha’s chest.

“I shouldn’t have said that.” She spoke. “He’s right, how is that supposed to make him feel better?”

“Don’t beat yourself up.” Koga said, still standing near the spot Sesshomaru had left him behind in. “The guy’s great with optimism. If it were literally anybody else, saying something like that would honestly be helpful. You had good intentions, it’s just his choice whether to receive it or not.”

The wolf demon walked over to them, patting Kagome on the head when she gave a meager, disappointed grin, but his gaze met Inuyasha’s. “It looks like you guys have been through hell lately. I suggest you two lay low for a day or so. Keep out of sight. Rest. It’s not gonna hurt anyone if Naraku thinks Kagome is dead. Let him.”

“Koga,” Kagome stepped in to reward him with a kind hug. “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He chuckled, rubbing her back before letting her go. “I’m serious. Lay low.”

“Wolf.” Inuyasha spoke, clenching his jaw as he looked at him. His stomach was doing flips and turns, his hands were still shaking, his body felt leadened, and the air in the atmosphere felt like sludge thickening around his shins. As if a swallow would push it all away, Inuyasha bypassed the lump in his throat to do just that, feeling as if he merely managed to mask it all momentarily, and feebly at that. Still, if it weren’t for Koga, Kagome might have died. That needed to be acknowledged. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do it for -“

“I don’t care.” Inuyasha cut him off, his tone wavering as his defenses faltered for a second. “I don’t care what or who you did it for. It doesn’t fucking matter. I don’t care. Thank you for saving Kagome’s life.”

“Wow. Uh, yeah.” Koga nodded, almost bewilderingly. He couldn’t help but be slightly blown away by Inuyasha’s genuine emotions. It wasn’t like he could claim he knew the guy super well, but it’d been a few years since they’d met and this was the first time he’d ever seen Inuyasha in any manner but grouchy. And, he wouldn’t claim the half demon was anywhere near happy at the moment, but this was still deep. “Sure. Get going, dude.”

“Yeah.” Inuyasha agreed, watching as the wolf demon ran off to follow his brother.

He waited a moment, turning to meet Kagome’s stare at the same time she turned to him.

“Are you really okay, baby?” Inuyasha breathed, cradling her face so softly.

“I’m fine. I promise.” Kagome responded, leaning into his touch.

“No. No.” He felt himself choking on his words as he quickly became overwhelmed again. His mind shifted right back to the sight of Kagome being thrown over the edge, her scream, and he pinched his eyes shut. “You fell. It wasn’t like a few feet, kid. I know you didn’t hit the water gently. Tell me where you’re hurt.” He all but demanded.

“Inuyasha, I’m fine.” She insisted, pushing herself passed his hands to hug her arms around his waist. “Yes, I hit hard, but I don’t feel any pain.”

“Your adrenaline levels are still up then.” He excused.

“And, if you’re right and they die down, I’ll let you know.”

“Kagome, I -“ Why couldn’t he say anything? What did he even want to say? What came first? His concern or his apology? His plead for forgiveness or his admittance that he didn’t deserve it? “Let’s head out. I want to get to an inn before nightfall.”

“Inuyasha?” Kagome asked, worried as he pulled away from her and crossed the terrain to grab the bag she’d shrugged off earlier. He didn’t stop, didn’t try to return to his incomplete sentence, didn’t even turn to acknowledge her. She watched as the hanyou kneeled down in front of the bag, pulling out his robe before forcefully yanking the drawstring shut.

“Here,” He offered, setting the bag down at their feet before holding the crimson robe out for her to put on. “This will keep you warm for the meantime.”

Kagome hesitated. Something was wrong. Of course, something was wrong. This must have been just as terrifying for him as it was for her. But, how could she help? She could tell with the hardened expression on his face that he was choosing to shut the problem out.

Still, she tried again. “Inuyasha, what is it? Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“I just did.” He sighed. “I want to get to an inn before nightfall.”

“Inuyasha.” Kagome felt that if she pushed him right now, he’d only close off to her more. What he was truly feeling was being hidden behind this wall of an excuse. But, if she prodded, especially too soon, it could have negative repercussions, and Inuyasha didn’t deserve the pressure at the moment. So, with a heavy exhale, she dropped her shoulders, her own defenses, and pushed her arms through the robe he’d been holding open all this time.

“God, baby, you’re shaking.” Inuyasha commented quietly, rubbing her arms as she swaddled up in the garment.

“I’m just a little cold.” She confessed, tucking her hands within the long sleeves. “I’m alright, though.”

“Let me carry you. My body heat will help, okay?”

“If I say no, you’re going to argue with me, aren’t you?” Kagome pursed her lips.

“Yes.”

“Alright.” She sighed, taking the bag to strap over her shoulders as he picked it up.

The hanyou crossed the rock, picking up his de-transformed sword from the ground and sliding it back into its sheath, turning to find Kagome picking up her bow and one surviving arrow. All the others must have been washed away.

“We’ll get you some more.” He promised in way of reassurance.

“Yeah.” She nodded, slipping it back into her empty quiver and securing her bow over her shoulder.

Inuyasha kneeled in front of her, his hands finding her upper thighs as she straddled his back, and as he stood, he hiked her up for better support, clasping his hands beneath her rear so she didn’t droop at all. The dampness of her shirt began to soak through his own, but he didn’t mind. He knew with how quick his blood was pumping right now, his flesh was running hot, so it would help her tremendously.

Kagome cuddled close as he got back onto the path, molding against his frame, and just as a shiver coursed down his spine from her warm breath on his neck, a small kiss in the same spot had his heart jolting. Inuyasha turned his head her way a little, trying to see her affectionate gaze from the side and was gifted with a delicate peck on his cheek. That lump had returned to his throat at full force, making it impossible to speak even if he wanted to. This wasn’t enough for him. Inside, he felt like fire and ice were at war with one another. His mind was racing, and the crunch of the earth beneath his feet couldn’t mute Kagome’s scream of terror that echoed in his ears. Would he ever be able to forget that? Would he ever be able to move on from that look in her eyes? Those tears he saw? He had her in his arms, she was kissing him, and Inuyasha was still weighted with the ungodly fear that he’d lost her for good.

Maybe tending to her comfort tonight would help his heart understand that she was actually okay. Maybe personally seeing to her wounds, if any, and watching over her as she slept would silence this horrible feeling once and for all.

Dusk was disappearing into the shadows of the night, but thankfully, Inuyasha’s nose told him they weren’t far at all from civilization. There was a town up ahead, and by the amount of people he could hear and smell, it was a decently-sized one. Which meant there would definitely be an inn of some sort.

Kagome’s shivering had died down substantially. She was completely relaxed against his back, and if it weren’t for the gentle massage she was giving to one of his shoulders right now, he’d have guessed she’d fallen asleep.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, tone husky.

“Comfy.” Kagome whispered.

Inuyasha chuckled. “We’re near a town. You okay to walk?”

“Mhm.” She hummed, kissing his shoulder when he kneeled to let her down.

Immediately, the hanyou took her hand, threading their fingers and keeping her close to his frame. It was only a little further before the village came into view. There was a tavern near the entrance; he could smell the ale and hear the lively conversation. There were women giggling, but he knew the fake laughter of a harlot trying to make her wage while slapping away the hand of a man who was too cheap to pay.

The sign for the bar didn’t include an inn, and for that, Inuyasha found himself a little grateful. It was too goddamn rowdy, and he really didn’t want Kagome anywhere near the amount of drunken men he knew were inside. Not with how they were currently perusing over the women. Offering themselves or not, the men still treated them as objects, and if anyone was audacious enough to even look at Kagome in the same disrespect, Inuyasha couldn’t guarantee he’d be able to control his reactions.

Down the street a little ways, there was a sign that guided them. Certain shops were to their right, so he rubbed his thumb over the back of Kagome’s hand as he led her down the new road. Finding it, he opened the door for her, allowing her to enter through first before following her to the reception counter and ringing the bell.

A small woman came out with a cheerful smile on her face, swiftly being replaced by a look of startle. Her green eyes widened and her grin drooped into a grimace of concern, brows pinching together in overt question.

Fuck.

Inuyasha had completely forgotten about the dried blood on his face, and how disheveled they both must have looked right now.

“Sorry,” Kagome quickly spoke, keeping her tone friendly. “I know what you’re thinking - holy crap, what the hell happened to them? - right? Yeah, this is my fault. I’m super clumsy, and unfortunately, today my boyfriend was on the other end of my hiccup. Do you happen to have a room?” She asked, feigning believable shame with her lie.

“Oh my goodness, are you two okay?” The girl asked, feeling comfortable enough now to approach the counter and bring out the guest book.

Kagome dropped her head against the table top in embarrassment, and Inuyasha was almost shocked by how well she was pulling off this ruse. She never lied this well with him. She was a stammering mess that looked to the side and fidgeted her fingers, and it was so fucking easy to tell that she never meant a thing she was saying in that moment. But, here? It was like she was a master at the art.

“He was trying to teach me how to shoot a bow and arrow. Somehow, I lost my balance, fell backward into the river, and my arrow nipped his forehead. I lost all of my other arrows in the process, and he had to come chasing after me in the current.”

The innkeeper’s bewildered stare transferred to Inuyasha where he pressed his lips into a tight line and rolled his eyes, nodding to confirm the story. “She sucks.”

“I said I was sorry.” Kagome grumbled.

“Yeah, well, ‘sorry’ isn’t getting us home tonight.” He remarked dully.

She pouted at the innkeeper as if the doe-eyed look was enough to ask her question for a room again. With a sympathetic, and slightly humored, smile, the woman complied, quieting her giggle as she looked at her guest book.

“I’ve got a few open, so you have nothing to worry about.” She said, grabbing her pen. “May I have your names?”

“I’m Sango.” Kagome fibbed. It just felt like a horrible idea to give out their real names right now. If they were going to lay low, then Kagome and Inuyasha needed to stay off the radar. Naraku was after them, and Kagome was presumably dead. Just in case he sent any underlings in the surrounding areas to look, it was a better idea to keep their true identities under wraps. “This is Miroku.”

The innkeeper filled in their names under the room number they were to occupy, then gestured for them to wait a quick moment as she shuffled to the back to grab their room key.

“You’re brilliant.” Inuyasha commented quietly, petting her hair. “You really covered for us there, kid.”

Kagome gave a meager grin in return, one not as bright as he wished he could see, leaning into his touch. Her eyes weren’t meeting his. They were upwards, on his forehead, staring at the gash behind his bags that was already beginning to heal. The innkeeper returned, attaining Kagome’s attention once more, and offered to show them to their room, but she was quick to respectfully decline.

“We can find our way, don’t worry.” She held her hand out for the key to be place in her opened palm, smiling appreciatively at the woman.

Just as they began to walk toward the hall, the innkeeper cleared her throat to catch their attention. Inuyasha met her gaze when she pulled out a small bandage from beneath the counter, sliding it his way over the countertop. With a noticeable grimace, she lightly gestured toward his head. There was a moment of awkward silence before Inuyasha pressed his lips into a tight line, reaching for the offered bandage and taking note of how tiny it was.

“Uh, thanks.” He said anyway, tipping the bandage to her. As if it stood a chance at covering even half of his wound. It’s the thought that counts, he supposed.

Locating the number on the door that their key was associated with, Kagome unlocked it and led the way in, hearing the click as Inuyasha bolted it behind him. She turned around, half expecting him to be ready to let his defenses down, but his shoulders didn’t loosen, nor did his guarded expression quite give. Something heavy was on his mind. Kagome had been terrified, but now she was relieved. She’d thought, at least by now, that Inuyasha would be, too.

The half demon strode past her with nothing but a sweet touch on her shoulder, locating the bathroom and stepping through the door. As Kagome shrugged everything off of her shoulders, including Inuyasha’s crimson robe, laying it neatly at the bottom of the mattress, she heard the water start running from the faucet of the bath.

“Kagome, come here.” He called, and she followed, stepping through to see the tub filling up with hot water.

“Wash up.” He instructed. “Get warm. I’ll be out here if you need anything.”

“Wait.” Kagome said, grabbing onto the rolled up sleeve of his shirt. “Let me at least clean your head.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll do it later.” Inuyasha declined with more of a disapproving grunt than anything.

Her grip on him didn’t slacken, and she gave an obstinate tug on his bicep. “I’ll take a bath, but only if you let me do this. Come on, it’ll only take a minute. While the tub is filling.”

“Kid, stop worrying about it. It’s closed up already. My head clipped a rock; it’s nothing serious, so calm down about it.”

“Stop.” Her brows furrowed in a slight, reprimanding scowl. “You’re shutting me out, I can already tell. I do it too, remember? It drives you crazy. Why won’t you let me help you? Why is this suddenly a one-way street?”

Inuyasha had stiffened. He hadn’t even realized he was doing it. His mind was an unforgiving place right now, and all he really wanted was a minute alone to gather himself. To sort out the jumbled thoughts he had stabbing him. It was hard to think rationally at the moment, it was difficult to be himself with that pleading look he’d seen on her face replaying behind the darkness of his eyelids every time he blinked. Kagome really wasn’t asking for a lot. He shouldn’t be denying her anything right now. If cleaning the blood off his face was what she wanted, then he had no place turning her down whatsoever.

With an exhale that he used to shove his grievances aside, Inuyasha relented, turning around to sit on the rim of the tub. Kagome reached for the washcloths on the high shelf, pushing to the tips of her toes and snagging a couple. She threw one to float in the water to clean herself with later and unfolded the other, dipping it under the running faucet to wet a portion. Gently, she pushed aside his bangs, lightly tapping the area around the gash to test how sensitive it was. Inuyasha didn’t flinch or pull away, his brows didn’t even twitch in pain, but instead his hands made home on the backs of her thighs, pulling her closer to stand between his legs.

“Does it hurt?” She asked.

Inuyasha gave a small shake of his head, caressing his thumbs over her pants. She could feel his fingers shaking slightly, feel the hot breath he sighed out against her chest. He seemed sad. Kagome had never seen Inuyasha sad before. She’d seen him sympathetic, and maybe sad for her, but never like this. She’d never seen him seemingly so burdened that his shoulders slumped this way. She could be wrong. But, she knew him. And, this version of him was out of character.

Kagome respected his silence, though. She softly rubbed the washcloth over his face, cleaning the dried blood, the dirt, the sweat. He wasn’t lying, it wasn’t as bad as the amount of blood had made it seem. It was already closed, a lightly-shaded bruise marring the immediate area around. With a tender kiss to the center of Inuyasha’s forehead, she dropped the dirtied washcloth to the floor and let go of his bangs, lingering with her affection. His large hands gripped her thighs firmly, a shuddering exhale leaving his lips, and he tilted his chin upward, searching for her own.

His earlier assumption was correct. Kissing her was going to lead to his downfall. Kagome brushed a delicate kiss to his mouth, and it felt as if his heart swelled with unbridled emotions he couldn’t even name. What was he feeling right now? Why did he want to fall apart?

“We made a deal.” He managed to say without waver, planting a scant peck against her bottom lip. “Get warm. Please.”

“Okay.” She breathed with a little nod, allotting him space to stand by taking a step back.

Inuyasha shut the door behind him to give her deserved privacy, find it becoming increasingly harder now to hold anything together. Inuyasha was suffocating in his own thoughts. It was all hitting him like a bull charging at full force, knocking the wind from his diaphragm only to turn around and do it again and again as soon as he was back on his feet.

Kagome is dead, Inuyasha!

That was part of the problem. A percentage of him had believed Sesshomaru when he’d shouted that before. She was thrown off a cliff. He’d never gotten a complete look over the edge. There was no guarantee she’d actually landed in the water; Kagome could have hit jagged mountainside, rock, or landed on the bank, and he was terrified he’d have peeked over then to see her body. Even if he was right and she did land in the river, the current was so heavy that she could have easily drowned. It could have dragged her under, made it impossible to come up for air, and then her lungs would fill with water.

That was it.

Not only was Inuyasha beating himself up for failing to save her.

But, a portion of his heart had already broken at the consideration of her death.

He truly had thought he’d lost her.

Inuyasha fell short of the cushioned chair along the far wall. His back dragged down against the wood, and he found himself sitting on the floor, his legs bent into him, his elbows planted on his knees while he buried his head into the palms of his hands. He should be happy that she was alive, but it was difficult to register that when his heart had already shattered. How could he have let this happen? How could he have fallen short when she needed him?

Kagome wrung her clean hair, noticing a ripe, developing bruise on the inside of her bicep as she lifted it up. How did she even get that one? She’d scrubbed a couple on her legs thinking they were just dirt that was coated heavily, but when she realized the marks weren’t budging and the dull pain wasn’t caused from the aggressive swiping of the washcloth, she left them alone. Thankfully, most of her bruises would be covered by clothing, and it wouldn’t increase Inuyasha’s worriment. Only a few were relatively bad, broken blood vessels and all, but as of right now, they weren’t that painful, and she’d put them away beneath her shirt.

Her shirt that was in her backpack.

Her backpack that was left in the bedroom.

Crap.

Carefully, she reached for her towel, drying herself off as she stepped out of the tub. She ran it vigorously through the ends of her hair, expelling as much moisture as she could until a slight frizziness began to show, and then she brushed her fingers through to lazily sort out her waves. There was still a good chance she could grab her bag without Inuyasha really noticing anything. All she’d have to tell him was to look away, and her hanyou wouldn’t hesitate to comply. He never compromised any of her boundaries, so she was confident she could get away with this if she was quick enough.

Wrapping the towel securely around her body and fastening it at her chest, Kagome opened the door, peeking out to make sure Inuyasha wasn’t in immediate sight. The last thing she wanted was to make him feel worse with her bruises. They happened. She was a human, they were more common on her flesh than his. Especially, when you’re smacked around by a demon tentacle once or twice. But, he was so overprotective sometimes, and it would kill her if any of her bruises made his shoulders sag farther.

The room was still dark, and she heard no movement come from within. Stepping out, Kagome looked around where the bathroom light allowed her eyes to focus, but still she didn’t spot him.

“Inuyasha?”

The hanyou was torn out of his toxic state by the sound of her voice, and he jumped to his feet, rushing across the room to her as he feared she needed him. “Yeah. I’m here. Are you okay?”

“I’m -“ Along the inside of her ribcage, right beside her sternum, it felt as though something unwelcome slithered its way down. A dense sensation was sprouting within the cavity of her chest, enveloping her heart quicker than ever before, and her expression, whatever existed of it, crumbled. Kagome watched as a single tear glided down Inuyasha’s cheek, leaving a trail from the brimming lid of his golden eye. “Baby?” She spoke so softly it was hardly heard.

“What’s wrong?” Inuyasha’s hands were trembling so bad, he’d clenched his fists for a semblance of control.

Without another word, Kagome cautiously extended her arm, tenderly wiping away the tear when he didn’t bother to pull away. It was as if he didn’t even realize he was crying. And, when she left her fingers there to cup his jaw, to caress, he folded.

Inuyasha stepped back, finding the edge of the bed and dropping down to sit on it. It was incredible how shaken up he was over this entire thing. To watch her fall, to hear her scream, to think of the unimaginable, it was his worst fear come true. He shouldn’t even bother trying to hide this from her anymore. It took more effort than it was worth, more effort than he could even manage to put forward right now.

“Inuyasha, will you please talk to me?” Kagome tried, filling the small gap that was created. His crying had to be of the saddest sort she’d ever observed. His face didn’t crinkle, a frown was barely present, and tears streaked his cheeks to speak his mind in ways he wasn’t yet able to. It was like those emotions riddling it were so overwhelming, they were impossible to process, and his expression had no other choice but to be devoid of anything but a blank slate while his heart attempted to decompress enough to breathe.

She was so gentle as she cleaned his cheeks, the swipe of her thumbs a ghost of a touch. Amber eyes fluttered up to her and Kagome swore they were the brightest she’d ever seen them. It was like his sorrow added a beautiful illumination the firelight couldn’t rival, reflecting with a glow that could only come from within, and while it was stunning, Kagome never wanted to get used to seeing them like this.

“If you don’t want to talk, I understand. That’s okay. If you aren’t ready, I’ll just sit with you.” She whispered, biting her bottom lip.

Inuyasha reached forward, wrapping his arms around Kagome’s waist and burying his face in her stomach. Her scent was no longer masked by anything, and he took deep breaths of it, hoping the sweet aroma would work to calm some fucking part of him. He could hear her heartbeat, he could feel her warmth, her fingers were gingerly stroking his ear while her other hand was sweetly placed at the side of his head, and it did work to sooth the tiniest piece of him, but he was still so inconsolably upset. He was upset with himself, with Naraku, with the situation, with the world.

“I thought I’d lost you.” He finally said, his voice raspy and gruff.

Kagome’s chest deflated. She hadn’t realized that was on his mind. She hadn’t considered that maybe he’d been scared enough to ever jump to that conclusion. “I’m so sorry.”

“No.” The spit Inuyasha swallowed went down thickly, almost painfully. He pulled away, begrudgingly so, shaking his head when he shifted her to the side so he could stand. He found himself pacing the room, frustrated, his chest rising and falling heavily as his anxiety went right back to the way it had been. “Do not apologize. Don’t. That’s not what I want to hear.”

“Then, what do you want to hear?” Kagome carefully asked, keeping her tone level.

“Nothing. Nothing, Kagome. Nothing I’ve tried telling myself has made me feel better. I know you’re alive. I know you’re alright. I can see you, I can smell you, I can feel you, but god fucking dammit, all I can hear is your scream.” He ranted, expressing himself with flailing hands and ambling feet.

Kagome watched him, respecting his space, respecting his temper, keeping herself still so as not to agitate his current state. It was finally coming out. She hoped he yelled. Screamed. She wanted him to cry some more so his mind wasn’t so tainted by the dark thoughts that dragged him under. Telling him she was okay wasn’t going to help right now. Not like it usually did. This, what they’d gone through, was more than that. He wasn’t worried about a scrape on her knee, or a cut on her shoulder. He wasn’t freaking out over a demon sneaking up on her, or even overexertion of her powers. Inuyasha had witnessed her being flung aside like a rag doll. Inuyasha had to watch her be thrown away like a piece of garbage while he was pinned down, helpless, and it had to be scarring. She wasn’t the only one affected by that. Of course, she wasn’t. It was traumatizing to the both of them in different manners, and both of which deserved validation.

“I -“ Thereafter his powerful statement, none of his words would come fluidly anymore. Inuyasha was growing increasingly emotional, shaking, his bottom lip quivering like he hadn’t felt since he was a broken child.

“I failed.” The last of his sentence trailed off into a whisper when he felt like his heart was being shredded. Like, it was poorly drawn on a piece of parchment and ripped from top to bottom, left to right, repeat, repeat, repeat.

“I -“ Another pause as his eyes brimmed with tears again. They were hot. Unfamiliar.

“Kagome.” Her name was spoken dolefully.

“I couldn’t get to you.” That part was barely audible. “I couldn’t get to you, and you fell.”

“I don’t - I don’t even know why you’d apologize for being a victim.” Inuyasha said, pressing the heels of his hands to his temples. “When I - I don’t -“

He looked at her with a pleading desperation. “I don’t even know how to ask for your forgiveness.”

Forgiveness? Forgiveness for what? For being in a position beyond his will? Did he really blame himself for the harm she was dealt? Was her near death situation placed on his shoulders for him to bear?

“What are you talking about?” Kagome reached.

“Kagome, you almost fucking died! I didn’t save you! That’s what I’m talking about!”

“But, that’s -“

“No, don’t do that! I know what you’re about to say! I don’t want to hear that it’s not my fault, because that’s not going to mean anything to me!” He snapped. “If it weren’t for Koga, you’d - fuck!”

Kagome stiffened from the amount of internal pain she could see Inuyasha was in. Did she even stand a chance at making this easier on him? Would she be able to talk some sense into him?

“If it weren’t for Koga,” Inuyasha tried continuing. “I don’t know where you’d be, kid. And, it shouldn’t have happened that way. It’s me you’re supposed to be able to rely on. You can’t convince me to be okay with the way things played out, because nothing’s preventing me from feeling like I fucking failed you. I was the one that promised to protect you. Not Koga. Not Sesshomaru. It was me. I told you - I told you - that I can’t fucking lose you, Kagome. I didn’t just say that to make you feel good, or because it sounded like a pleasant thing to add to the moment. I wasn’t even one-upping you. I was telling the truth. I can’t. I can’t do it. And, yet, no matter what I did, I wasn’t strong enough to get to you in time.”

“Can I speak?”

“No.” Because, she would only oppose him, and he wasn’t receptive to hearing her positive point of view just yet. “I already know you’re going to contradict what I say. You don’t see things the way I see them and vise versa. Just listen, alright? Try to understand where I’m coming from.”

Kagome gave the smallest nod, hugging her arms close to her body for a semblance of comfort. It was hard not being able to help while he was basically calling out for it. To stand by idly and watch him break down was so painful, but she knew it was merely a fraction of what he was struggling with right now. So, she didn’t argue.

“I know it’s not my fault that this happened. But, it’s impossible to believe that the prevention of it wouldn’t have been. I made you a promise and I dropped the ball when you needed me most. And, then you were gone. I’ve never been more afraid in my life, kid. Not once. And, when Sesshomaru told me there was no way you could have survived the fall, I fucking believed him. He only said it to get me to fight the puppet instead of abandoning it altogether to go after you, but that doesn’t change the fact that I ditched hope so quickly. God, it hurts, Kagome!” Inuyasha grabbed his chest. His heart. “It hurts so fucking bad! You’re right in front of me, but this feeling wont go away! I don’t know what to do! Please - just - please tell me you forgive me.”

Hot tears spilled from Kagome’s eyes as she broke with his plea, but she fervently shook her head to reject it. “No. I don’t want to.”

“Fuck.” He whimpered huskily.

“It would be like admitted that I believe you did something wrong, when I literally saw you doing everything you could. I don’t agree with you, Inuyasha. I don’t blame you for anything.”

“You need to stop that! This vision you have of me is deluded! I swear, it’s like you think I’m perfect or something!”

“Far from it!” Kagome quickly objected.

“Look at the situation, kid!”

“I was there too, Inuyasha!”

“Fucking shit! It’s like the moment you fell in love with me, you started viewing me with these rose-colored glasses!”

“Oh, shut up! That’s not the case, at all! You’re just trying to get me to second guess myself! I am not naive!” Kagome stomped her foot, glowering at the hanyou across the room. She was angry, and sad, and so badly did she want him to hear her, and she wasn’t leaving this spot until he did. “What are you looking for!? A list of all of my complaints about your personality so that I can prove you wrong!? I’m not going to feed into it! I’m not deluded or whatever else you think I am just because I disagree with you, Inuyasha! Like I said, I was there! I was a part of the whole ordeal! You need to look at the bigger picture! I understand that you feel you should have been responsible for saving me, but circumstances said otherwise! Koga came in, and I’m lucky that he did! You’re right! We don’t know where I’d be! But, I didn’t look at Koga and think, ‘this should have been Inuyasha pulling me out of the river.’ Not even close. He saved my life! He and Sesshomaru helped! So, why is that a gateway for you to criticize yourself just because it wasn’t you? You’re not a god, you can’t expect yourself to do the impossible all on your own! I’m here either way! I’m right here! Inuyasha, I swear I’m okay. You didn’t lose me.”

That war he felt raging inside of him was an ongoing battle, spears being tossed and puncturing his organs to cause internal bleeding. He heard her, but it was still so difficult to rationalize through the haze of his brain. Instead of saying anything in return, he found he could only chew on the inside of his bottom lip, his gaze falling to the ground.

“Do you think Kikyo’s death was my fault?” Kagome asked, her voice dropping several octaves.

Instantly, Inuyasha’s vibrant eyes shot up to meet her, an incredulous expression twisting his features. “Of course, I don’t.”

“Good.” She breathed. “Because, this is sort of the same thing. So, I know how difficult it is to remove yourself from the situation to see things from a different perspective, or even find reasonability somewhere out there. If you need to blame yourself right now, then okay. I get it. I can wait you out, I don’t mind. But, I won’t partake. I won’t give you forgiveness that you don’t need because it would be empty, and I feel like that would be more damaging in the long run. I can’t hurt you like that. I can give you literally anything else, anything you want or need, but not that.”

His heart thudded. Maybe rejecting his request was exactly what he needed. What sort of murky waters would invade his chest if Kagome had basically validated the fault he’d put on himself? Imagining her forgiving him, agreeing that he should have been the one to save her, applied a different kind of weight he hadn’t expected, when he’d initially thought it’d lift it all. His heart still ached, horribly so, but he felt the best thing for him would be to kill the distance. He deserved to hold Kagome, to physically confirm that he hadn’t lost her like he’d foolishly thought. He wanted to kiss her again, to feel the pain that so fiercely demanded to be felt, so that her intimacy could wash it all away - be it little-by-little or all at once. It didn’t matter. This was what he needed. She was what he needed.

“You. Give me you.” Inuyasha crossed the room with a passionate stride, watching a small, hopeful smile of relief appear on her mouth just before he wrapped his arms around her waist. “Give me all of you.”

Kagome stumbled back against the wall, trusting his hold on her as he pinned her there. His lips found hers with an insatiable hunger, his hands snaking up her sides to cradle her jaw and hold her to him. With a small nip to her bottom lip, Inuyasha slipped his tongue into her mouth, delighted by the way she grabbed his belt and pulled him closer. The fire inside of him was suddenly beating out the ice. Cold was a thing of the past when he swallowed a tiny moan that escaped her throat and when he felt her fingers curl further against the waistband of his trousers, holding him against her.

He traveled smoothly down Kagome’s cheek where he gently nipped her jaw, giving a small nudge with his nose to extend her neck so he had more room to play. Little kisses were peppered down the length, her flesh warm, soft, inviting his mouth to give more attention, and she released a tantalizing sigh in response. Inuyasha tensed, pausing at the curve where her shoulder met and hovering so that his hot breath bounced off her skin and back against his chin. His pace dramatically slowed then. This wasn’t going to be rushed. If Kagome didn’t get it yet, she was going to understand with this act just how much he loved her.

The hanyou placed a hand on her hip to squeeze her soft curve while the fingers of his other curled in her hair, tilting her head back. He began a burning trail of kisses back up the side of her neck, bringing a silky gasp from her opened lips and a twitch of her fingers at his pelvis. She could push him away at any time, but Kagome was actively pulling him closer, and the way she held his belt in such a territorial manner had butterflies flying through his stomach. His lips were searching for that sweet spot, incorporating little laps from his tongue until her body tensed and her gasp was shuddered. He felt her flesh grow hotter, a new scent meeting his nose, and it was nearly impossible not to instantly become intoxicated by it. It went straight to his head. He felt light on his feet and the only way he could stabilize himself was to press further into her hip, his mouth sucking a mark above her clavicle.

The moan she released was heavenly, and he swore he heard the hint of his name mixed within. Her hands went to travel up his waist, his abdomen, but always seemed to snap right back to his belt. It almost appeared like both a homing zone to grasp onto, and a way to make sure he never moved far from her. Already, Kagome’s heart was beating hard. He could hear it, practically feel it against his own chest. His wasn’t fairing much different. Inuyasha felt as if his might burst when he actually heard his name fluidly leave her lips.

He released the wonderfully sore spot on Kagome’s neck, hovering just above it so that his satin breath over the wet area would cause a mind-numbing shiver to course over every inch of her skin. Her hanyou placed a sweet kiss to it, let go of her hair, and then brought his face back up to her own, their noses barely touching. It almost seemed like he was taking a moment to admire her, the backs of his fingers softly stroking her cheeks, cleaning the stains her recent tears had left behind. Her eyelashes fluttered closed as he placed a kiss to her forehead, his hands dragging down the sides of her throat, teasing over her collarbone, and ending at the towel that was fastened around her chest.

He loosened the damp garment, holding it around her himself to see if she’d object, and though she’d stiffened minutely, her breath hitching, Kagome didn’t stop him. Inuyasha moved slow, not quite allowing the towel to just drop to the floor. He opened it while he rubbed his nose against hers, feeling her breath, sliding the cloth down her body until it curved below her ass where he released it to fall completely. He pressed his lips to hers, feeling her skin beneath his palms as he grabbed her bare waist, pulling her flush against him.

His kiss was deep, otherworldly, breathtaking, and as he firmed his hold on her and pulled her away from the wall, turning Kagome and guiding her backwards until her legs hit the bed, she found her hands had finally let go of his belt, mindlessly following instinct as they pulled his shirt from within the tuck of his pants. Inuyasha laid her down gently, adjusting her so her head hit the pillows as he crawled on top, and her tongue betrayed her, releasing a small mewl as she tried again to pull his shirt up his torso. Finally, he got the hint, smiling into his kiss before he pulled away and yanked his shirt off, tossing it to the floor to be forgotten.

Having leaned back, Inuyasha’s eyes glanced down for his first good look at Kagome’s body. He couldn’t help but sit back on his legs to take her in, captivated by each inch that was exposed to him. Her breasts were supple, nipples hard and calling his name. Her stomach was toned from the amount of action she saw, the training she did, and he made a mental note to follow the slightly defined line at the top of her abdominals with his lips later. What he found he adored most was that she was still soft in some places. She was healthy. The bottom of her tummy where it met her pelvis had a little curve where her organs were properly protected by muscle and fat. Her hips had a roundness to them as the plush of her bottom was pushed outward, and he wanted to sink his fingers into it all. Most enthralling was the thighs propped at either side of him. They were thick. Muscle and softness that beckoned his mouth, his tongue, his teeth, and Inuyasha couldn’t resist the way his hand caressed over them, gliding upward toward her stomach, her waist, and halting instantly when he felt the tiniest flinch from her.

He’d been so hypnotized that he hadn’t even taken note of the bruises littering her skin. Beneath his palm was a dark red contusion, a shade of purple vaguely notable in the shadows of their room. It was large, extending from the curve of her waist to the edge of her ribcage, and he knew it was caused from the tentacle that had wrapped around her. It brought a heavy sensation to sit in his chest, but he pushed it aside, ghosting his fingers over the mark.

Inuyasha glanced up to Kagome’s face, her cheeks a blistering scarlet as she chewed her bottom lip. She was shy, her blush invading the surface of her chest as even that had hued pink under his eyes. He grinned, crawling back over her and saving her bottom lip from her teeth as he hovered just above, making her anticipate his kiss.

“I’ll be careful.” Inuyasha breathed. “I wont hurt you. You trust me?”

Kagome immediately nodded. She wasn’t afraid, and more than anything, she’d learned to love the sense of vulnerability with Inuyasha. Time and time again, he proved to cherish it. He’d taken such good care of her, so she knew she had nothing to worry about right now. It was impossible not to be nervous, especially under such keen observation, but to watch his smile appear had her heart beating a rhythm that would have even the most skilled dancers out of breath.

She pushed herself an inch upward to close the gap, stealing the kiss Inuyasha had hung over her as her own. She trusted him. She trusted him with even the most delicate pieces of herself. When he’d requested all of her in a desperate reach for comfort, Kagome was nothing short of thrilled. Obliging would be an honor. To be with him was all she wanted, so to hear it was what he’d wanted as well, to have reassurance even when she didn’t need it, it gave her a sense of happiness she understood she was lucky to understand.

Inuyasha groaned into her mouth as Kagome pulled him down against her, her whisper of a moan from the enrapturing heat of his chest swallowed. More. She wanted more of him. All of him. Everything he was willing to give her, she wanted to treasure for as long as she could. One of his hands found her breast, and the way it so softly curved over her shape, trailing over her budded nipple had her upper body arching for more.

Again, his lips made their way down her neck, this time the opposite side as before, taking their time in teasing her sensitive flesh. It was like an unfounded heat was overtaking her, overwhelming her senses. Her breathing was growing heavy as he ground into her hips, the rough texture of his pants against her inner thighs a welcomed chafing she wasn’t eager to end. His tongue above her clavicle had a high-pitched gasp leaving her mouth, his thumb caressing back and forth over her nipple causing her hips to jolt against his. She could feel his hard length then, how his stomach flexed in response, but as she raked her fingers down his side to find his belt again, Inuyasha snagged her wrist midway, jerking it away and pinning it above her head.

“Don’t you dare.”

Kagome giggled at his husky tone, the feeble threat he couldn’t even hold steady, finding she quite liked the restraint. She felt his smile as he pressed kisses against her collarbone, her chest, her breasts, lingering with his wet trail as he seemingly relished in the soft tissue.

If his calloused hands felt this good against her nipple, she wanted to know what his molten tongue would feel like. She wanted it so bad, but her words were lost in her baited breaths. Kagome couldn’t even try to communicate, entranced in the way he was seemingly teasing her. It was like he was eating her up, sucking his mark into her skin, nibbling softly and bringing her to arch into him. Inuyasha was pressed firmly against her, granting her a small grind of his hips, and he trailed his tongue from the underside of her breast, finally flicking her erect nipple with a heat that felt so much different than anywhere else.

The moan that escaped Kagome’s mouth was desperate, and if her thoughts were sober, she’d have been humiliated. It was like fuel for Inuyasha, though. After she cracked, he took her into his mouth, flicking his tongue in mind-numbing ways, suckling lightly, and then pulling off of her with a pop of his lips.

“Baby.” Kagome mewled.

To hear her call him that was ethereal. The endearment left her tongue like silk, meeting his ears with a heavenly warmth that could have caused him to melt right then and there. His name in that soft coo of a tone was to die for, but this? This was to live for. He wanted to experience it a hundred more times just like that. He wanted to hear it stuttered in her dreamy state. He wanted it to get to the point where the endearment was lost in her sighs, but still there to linger in the nonexistent space between them.

Inuyasha kissed a path from one breast to the other, engulfing the opposite in just as much affection as he took to massaging the one his mouth had just been all over. Kagome’s breathing was deep, her upper body rising into him to seek more attention, and the broken whimper she released as he swirled his tongue around her nipple almost caused him to crumble. It was like she was shamelessly begging for more in a manner that required no articulation. He could give her that. He would oblige. Inuyasha was going to absolutely worship this woman until she was shaking.

Her pelvis rolled into his own, and he groaned, popping off of her nipple to reach back up for her mouth. Her lips were lax, molding against his and opening for his tongue as it glided through to massage her own. Her whines tasted exquisite, the warmth of her fingers curling around the back of his neck was divine. Inuyasha breathed her in, her scent so much stronger than he’d ever experienced, and stars flickered behind the lids of his eyes.

Languidly, he dragged his fingers down her belly, grazing the backs of his nails over the space between each hip. The moan she shuddered was earnestly swallowed by him, fueling his slow, leisurely movements as he teased the sensitive skin. The way he softly touched her, raking almost methodically in the places that had her reacting positively, had a flurry igniting in his stomach. Her responses to him were more than he could have ever asked for. He couldn’t get enough of the sounds she made, causing his heart to do practiced somersaults in his chest. His ribcage was going to break if it beat any harder, but it was a fate he was more than willing to accept.

Gently, Inuyasha glided his hands down further, pulling away from their kiss so that he could feel her sharp gasp against his lips. He teased his fingers over the slit of her sex in a ghost of a touch. It was hot, and even though he’d whispered over her, he could still feel the slick lubrication her body naturally created. The next stroke of his fingers went within her folds, still stroking lightly while delighted by the searing heat of how wet she was. It scalded his middle finger in the most delectable way as he dragged the moisture over her vulva. Though delicately touched, he could already feel how swollen her clit had become, Kagome’s body reacting with a twitch that caused her pelvis to roll again.

With each glide of his fingers, Inuyasha gradually applied a little more pressure, coaxing her body into relaxing for him as she adjusted to the stimulation. He kissed her nose, her cheeks, just beneath her eyes, and her long eyelashes tickled him. He grinned as she tilted upward for attention on her mouth, and he complied with a meager drag of his lips against hers, planting the kiss on her chin. The sound of her laughter was breathy and heart stopping. It was better than music. It was contagious, and Inuyasha chuckled too.

“How do you like it done, baby?” He asked, his voice low since they were so close. There was a slight stiffness that appeared from rising shyness, and he felt the heat climb in her cheeks, but he tenderly kissed it away, continuing his ministrations along her pussy.

He understood her hesitation to answer, more than willing to wait as long as necessary. In the meantime, Inuyasha softly circled his finger around her clit, keeping the pressure light. Kagome gasped, and he relished in the way she arched into him that time, her breasts pressing into his bare chest, her skin sublime against his. With how responsive she was to him, even if she was too bashful to speak, he was sure if he followed her cues, he’d get it right and make her cum on his hand.

Kagome swallowed her nervousness, willing her body to relax again as she pushed her palm between them, following his arm down and gliding over the tops of his fingers. With a little flex, she slowed down his rhythm, keeping the circular motion that he’d gotten right from the start. The hanyou released a languid sigh, as if her guidance was exhilarating to him, and she couldn’t help but feed off of that.

She moved his hand around a bit to take him off of her clit, feeling a sense of overstimulation coming on too soon. He showed extreme caution with his claws, sensible to only use the pads of his fingers as he gently massaged the labia around, spreading her juices and gliding with smooth ease. As the bundle of nerves calmed slightly and she missed his touch, Kagome pulled his hand back toward it, allowing him to choose the rhythm. She mewled as he sent her head shoving back into the pillow, her breathing pattern escalating with the perfect circles he drew into her.

Inuyasha kissed her lips just in time to taste her heated moan. He was drunk on her scent, and every sound she made had his mind reeling. Again, she pushed him off of her clit, but her fingers were growing unsteady on top of his, finding she had to busy them by massaging his forearm while he teased the lips of her pussy until she calmed down. He pressed kiss after kiss down her jaw, her neck, leaving another mark around her sensitive clavicle that had her whimpering once more.

“Baby.” Kagome whispered at the top of her gasp, and Inuyasha grunted heatedly in response.

She reached for his wrist and eagerly pulled him against her clit, and he went back to his original pace. But, she wanted it faster. The spot he sucked into her skin had her mind racing, her blood pumping. She was hot all over, and her nerves pleaded for more.

This was nothing like the times when she’d explored herself. This felt surreal. The way her skin ignited in a rush was unearthly, the way her mind went blank was dreamlike. So soon, the stimulation had her climbing higher and higher, and a flame sparked in her core. Kagome adjusted his speed, increased his pressure a little, and her hands instantly flew to grasp onto anything she could. Her lungs were breathing an entirely new pattern, but when he took her nipple in his mouth, she nearly stopped breathing altogether. The flick of his tongue, the suck behind his lips, his fingers taking her cue and moving faster, Kagome was reduced to gasps now, her hips riding his hand.

“Yeah?” He teased, his breath hot against her wet breast. “Like that?”

Kagome could only moan in reply.

“Fuck, baby.” His voice was so low, she could hardly hear it, but she could feel the rumble coming from his chest, stimulating her further. Inuyasha licked the hard bud of her nipple, keeping the pace of his fingers steady. “Come on. Cum for me.”

The moment her nipple was back in his mouth, she was done for. Kagome sucked in a final breath to be held captive in her lungs, arching against him. She was incredibly taut while her lower body was twitching, a small spasm taking over her thigh, but her orgasm wasn’t ridden out yet. As it began its descent, Kagome’s muscles began shaking more, her hips following the slowing circles of Inuyasha’s fingers as she uncontrollably ground against him, exasperated moans leaving her throat that her hanyou moved up to swallow with open-mouthed kisses.

Kagome was on a high, her body coming down, legs collapsing against the hanyou, chest pumping deeply as she tried to catch her breath. Inuyasha chuckled gratifyingly, kissing his way south while his girl’s hands lazily found his biceps, his shoulders, trying to touch him anyway she could while she was in her inadvertent, dreamy state. He followed the line of her abdominals like he’d promised himself, finding it to be just as satisfying as he’d imagined, careful of the large bruise that marred her ribs. He nipped her waist, shifted to the other side, and left twice the amount of soft, little bite marks there. When he reached the soft part of her tummy, Inuyasha found himself burying his face in it, kissing so ravishingly that he almost lost his mind. Skillfully, he maneuvered Kagome’s thighs over his shoulders, all while she was still lethargic, tiny moans leaving her lips whenever he planted attention.

The hanyou flexed his fingers into the plush of her legs, immediately allured by how goddamn soft they were. Her inner thighs were the work of a saint, and he kissed his way up, unwilling to control his craving to suck and nibble the thicker areas near the apex. It was more sensitive the closer he got to her pussy, and as if he knew her body well enough to guess, Inuyasha pinned her down as he sucked his mark into her skin. Unsurprisingly, Kagome’s hips went to rock against him, her sharp gasp causing his ear to flick in delight. He transferred to the opposite side, kissing her inner thighs, licking, rewarding her mewls with gentle bites and little suckles that made his preferred name spill from her tongue.

Practically drooling from the aroma Kagome was giving off, Inuyasha didn’t want to deny himself anymore. With a broad stroke, he dragged his tongue up the length of her slit, causing Kagome to tense and gasp.

“Holy shit!” Her upper body practically rose off the bed with how hot his tongue was, with how different it felt from fingers. And, Inuyasha growled in response, repeating the motion. His hands went from her thighs to her hips, firmly squeezing into the plush that shaped her, but he didn’t get overzealous too quickly, which was what brought Kagome to melt back into the comforter. Her brown eyes had virtually rolled into the back of her head as his strokes got shallower, shifting into little sucks that he found balance with.

He didn’t go straight for her clit, nor did he concentrate on it when he gifted it with that exquisite attention from his tongue. Kagome was still high from her previous orgasm, but wasn’t overly sensitive anymore, so each glide had her fidgeting wonderfully.

Inuyasha was getting bolder as he got lost in her taste. He couldn’t even tell her how fucking good it was, instead putting his mouth to better use. He revisited his broad strokes for a moment, pinching his fingers into her hips when she moaned. While he did that, alternating so she didn’t lose herself too quickly, he found she rocked her pelvis into him. Like, she was riding his tongue. And, his eyes fluttered closed as his enthusiasm piqued.

He sucked on her clit, flicking the tip of his tongue against it, and Kagome’s hands landed on his head. He could tell she was trying to be gentle; his hair was still up and she was most likely worried about pulling it, but he didn’t want her to have that sort of control over herself. So, he sucked again, relishing in the feel of her fingers gripping him. Adventurously, Inuyasha dipped his tongue into her entrance, tasting her at the source, and her thighs squeezed against him. She was reduced to a whimpering mess all over again, unable to formulate words with even a single syllable.

Knowing she was close, Inuyasha grabbed her wrists and pinned them to her stomach, keeping her hips as still as he could as he lapped back up to her clit.

“Baby - Baby I’m - I’m -“

He growled in satisfaction as he sucked her into his mouth, treating the bundle of nerves to a rhythm of pressure that wouldn’t change until she was finished. Kagome’s body went unbelievably taut, her breath held in her chest, and he could feel her pussy convulsing as her orgasm sent her spiraling. The whine that finally escaped her lips was a sign of her comedown, and Inuyasha relented so he wouldn’t overstimulate her, kissing her pussy lips, her thighs, her pelvis her hips.

Just as he climbed his way back up her body, Kagome jerked him down into a kiss, her hands shaking but greedy as they explored his chest. This time, when she reached down for his belt, he didn’t stop her, pushing closer into her so she had a better chance at undoing the loop while she sent his mind reeling with her sloppy, hungry kisses. She was tasting herself on his tongue, swallowing his groans as she paused in undoing his pants to stroke his cock over the fabric. He could feel her thighs trembling with aftershocks of her recent orgasm, and it inadvertently caused his length to throb.

The moment she unlatched his pants, Inuyasha pushed them down and freed his dick, trying to remind himself that he couldn’t be too eager right now. He needed to slow down again, but his heart was pounding and he felt insatiably hot over every inch of his body.

He could feel that Kagome was cautious, but she broke away from the kiss to glance down between them, biting her swollen lip as she took him in. The way she licked her hand before carefully grabbing for it though, had him jolt. Inuyasha didn’t even get to revel in how fucking hot that was before she made his mind blank with the attention. He was so fucking hard that the softest touch from her fingers as she clumsily dragged them up his length had his core winding.

“Here,” He managed to groan, grabbing her hand and adjusting the pressure. The smallest, fearless smile appeared on Kagome’s lips and it was so close to being his undoing. He made her match a slow rhythm so he could keep an inkling of composure, his breathing increasing with her attention.

Allowing her to stroke him, Inuyasha pushed his pants from his legs, never moving far from her in his venture. Her mouth was red, evidence of his affection swelling the plush, and as if they beckoned him, he kissed her with an unmatched adoration. The hanyou removed her palm, leading her to hold his own as he used his free one to guide his cock. With skill, he glided it against her pussy, her slick heat bringing a hiss from his tongue. Again, he stroked himself against her and Kagome mewled, arching.

Begrudgingly pulling back from her, Inuyasha looked at where they’d be connected, spitting down onto his cock and massaging it over the head and length so there was a bit of lubrication coming from his end, too. Lining himself up, he crawled back over her, taking her hands in his and threading their fingers as he shoved her arms over her head.

Slowly, very slowly, he pushed inside of her, feeling her tense around him as her eyes pinched shut and a tiny whimper left her throat. Instantly, he stopped, rubbing his thumbs over her tightened hands, hushing her discomfort away, and kissing her cheek.

“Don’t stop.” Kagome said, willing her body to relax with baited breaths.

He chuckled from her ambition. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“No, it - it doesn’t hurt. It’s just a bit - um - tight. I’m okay.”

With another kiss to her jaw, Inuyasha complied, steadily pushing himself the rest of the way inside of her. He refused to move for a moment, planting kiss after kiss until she was properly adjusted to the intrusion.

“I love you.” He whispered, nuzzling his nose against her own.

Inuyasha practically felt the smile grow on her face, but it wasn’t of the sort he was expecting. Kagome was fighting back a fucking laugh, a tiny chortle muffled behind her lips.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to say that during something like this.” The dumbass giggled, and Inuyasha rolled his eyes, pursing his lips in half a grimace as he pinched her cheeks together.

“Shut up and say it back.”

Her giggle was infectious, bringing him to have to swallow his own laughter, a grin replacing his feigned scowl of annoyance.

“I love you more.” Kagome said with the brightest smile.

“Oh, you’re one of those.” He remarked.

As she gleefully nodded, Inuyasha stole a kiss, feeling all of the tension in her muscles dwindle away. With that, he gave a small rock of his hips, noticing her stiffen again, but her breath told him the discomfort wasn’t overwhelming.

Kagome had removed her hands from his to grab onto him, her legs hooked around his own as he carved a skillful, slow rhythm against her. There was less pressure now. The sensation was different, but it was growing increasingly incredible. Inuyasha had dropped his head to pepper her shoulder and neck in unending amounts of affection, and with a forceful grind, his pushed himself entirely inside of her. The moan she inadvertently released at that was deep, unintentionally loud, and she felt her hanyou clench rigidly.

Inuyasha was losing himself. She was clamping down around his cock, and her moans were making it impossible to focus. He was about to make sure she was okay, picking himself up a bit, when he observed the way his next grind had her head tossing back, her breath tantalizing and hot. The hanyou cupped her jaw, kissing her sloppily as he increased his pace a little, and Kagome seemed to melt beneath him. Her hands were traveling now, exploring him. For a minute, she’d placed them on his abdomen, feeling the way his muscles flexed with each thrust he gave, then she honed on his obliques and her nails teased his waist. She roamed around to his back, and at the same time that she lightly scratched him, she gently bit his bottom lip.

“Fuck, baby.” He moaned, accidentally bucking harder. Kagome pinched her lips together then, tensing unpleasantly, so he caught the cue, pulling back slightly to keep his gentle rhythm going and kissing her head apologetically.

It didn’t matter. He was still getting close. Her pussy was so wet, he was gliding in and out with practiced ease. It was like a succulent heat was licking up his shaft, teasing him with coaxing words and a tongue of satin.

“Fuck.” He grunted again, clinging to the plush of her thigh.

“More.” Kagome mewled. There was less grinding from him now, the roll of his hips bringing his cock all the way out to the tip, and then all the way back in. He was hitting something inside of her that had her legs twitching, and his groans had her hypersensitive to everything. “Baby, more. Please.”

She wanted to hear him in her ear. She wanted those growls to cause him to pin her down. She wanted the hand he held her thigh with to bruise his fingerprints into her flesh.

He couldn’t deny her. The butterflies in his stomach had escaped into the cavity of his chest, and Inuyasha was on cloud nine. With a rumble, he pushed himself up to sit on his knees, grasping Kagome’s waist and forcing her arch. He picked her lower body up from the bed with ease, supporting her hips as he drove his cock into her. With the choked gasp she gave, he knew his thrusts were kissing a sweet spot, and Inuyasha dropped his jaw as he watched a series of gooseflesh course over her. Her tits were bouncing with each hit of his hips, her thighs were tensing against him, and her fingers grabbed onto his wrists for support, biting into him.

It felt too good. He still had her indescribable taste on his tongue, and the overriding scent of her lingering orgasms had his cock pulsing inside of her.

“Fuck - fuck.” Everything that slipped from his mouth was out of his control, a string of curses mixed within praise Kagome deserved. “That’s my girl. That’s my good girl. Just a little further, baby, just a little bit more. Fuck, you’re so good. You’re so good, baby girl. Oh fuck, just like that.” He thrusted faster. “Baby - fuck! You’re my good girl, aren’t you? You gonna take it for me? Just like that. Just like -“

Swiftly, Inuyasha pulled out, dropping Kagome down and jerking himself to completion as he spilling himself over her tummy. Both of their breathing was ragged, he was twitching ridiculously, and he finally groaned as the best of his orgasm subsided. Suddenly, it was like supporting himself was the most difficult thing he had to do with now.

Amber eyes lethargically drifted up toward Kagome’s earthy browns, and her cheeks with a gorgeous tint of pink from the exertion, but her expression, her hazy, amorous expression, had her pupils looking like hearts. She lazily notched her nose upward to beckon him forward, and Inuyasha would have been a fool not to oblige, crawling the few inches up her body so she could pull him into a gratifying kiss.

He was in a dream. His mind was clouded with the beautiful echo of her recent moans, and he pressed languid kisses all over her until their heart rates began to drop down to a relatively normal pace. Inuyasha found himself following their mixed scents dragging his body south, kissing her shaking thighs, and then licking up their blended taste. Kagome shuddered, instantly rolling her hips against his tongue, the gasp she released without a moan at the end. She was too spent for sounds, and every flex from her muscles was of a fatigued sort, trembling and unsteady, but still responsive to his affection. Inuyasha gave a finishing kiss to her clit after licking another path upward, almost getting lost all over again in her soaked pussy.

“Don’t move.” He breathed, climbing back up to kiss her. “I’ll go get a washcloth to clean you up.”

“Wait.” Kagome snagged him for another kiss, giggling when he stumbled on his palms.

“I’ll be - right - back.” He laughed between pecks.

“One more.”

“You’re impossible.” Inuyasha smiled into the kiss, lingering with that one before he tore himself away.

He dampened the washcloth under warm water, coming back to gently wipe off her stomach of his seed. When he looked back up to her appreciative grin, it quickly shifted into fully pursed lips. A silent request for more kisses. Inuyasha laughed, tossing the cloth to the floor before rejoining her in bed to pepper her face in so many kisses, she’d regret ever asking for more. Her giggles were wonderful, her warm hands pulling him closer, and he somehow maneuvered the blanket out from beneath them to tuck them in.

He knew she wouldn’t last long. She cuddled into his chest, her lids fluttering closed and tickling his skin before she drifted off, and Inuyasha kissed her forehead, stroking her hair until he, himself, gave into the pull of sleep.

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[maximotts]

♡ 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘵. 𝘪𝘪 ♡ {𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵}

pt. i || pt. iii

a/n: ahaha remember when I said all would be fixed in this part? Turns out I lied. Part 2 was getting way too long and I didn't want this to feel rushed so part 3 will be the final part, but fret not, I'm finalizing part 3 as we speak because I didn't want to leave y'all at another painful cliffhanger. That'll be up right after this one before I go to bed tonight

warnings: angst, another semi-argument, Wanda reading Natasha's thoughts, a gallon of hurt feelings, panic attacks (Wanda)

summary: Natasha can't give Wanda space anymore after an Incident. aka the Secret Softy finally realizes she misses the Small Sunshine

words: 3.1k

masterlist. || navi. || request info/rules. :open

𝘮𝘰𝘺𝘢 𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘥𝘬𝘢𝘺𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘬𝘢 = 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭

𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘬𝘢 = 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺

𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘨𝘰𝘺 = 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵

✣ ✣ ✣

It’d been three weeks. Three weeks since she’d seen Wanda, eaten any meals with her, watched her dark hair fall gently over her shoulders as she laughed, or felt her soft hands brush against her fingers for reassurance or in a silent request to be held. Safe to say, Natasha missed Wanda terribly. Even more so, the guilt from how deeply she’d hurt the person she cared about was eating her alive. She saw Wanda’s wounded face almost as frequently as she blinked and she longed to reach out and hug her until it was all better.

She had made attempts. The night of her blow up, Natasha knocked on Wanda’s door for a good five minutes. It was obvious she was in there, sitcom laughter emanating from her television. After a while it was clear she wasn’t ready to talk and Natasha understood; she wouldn’t want to talk to her either. She resigned herself to seeing Wanda at breakfast the next morning, hoping maybe a friendly smile from across the room would let the girl know she wasn’t mad at her. But Wanda was nowhere to be found. Two days of missed meals later and having tripped over a dirty sandwich plate in front of Wanda’s room and Natasha realized she was purposely avoiding even the possibility of having to sit next to the redhead when she ate. Again, Natasha couldn’t blame her.

Now three weeks in, Natasha settled on just walking in. Wanda rarely kept her door locked when she was inside, she and Natasha were the only ones with permanent rooms on the female residence side and there was never an issue with Nat coming in unannounced- until now of course. An hour’s worth of hyping herself up behind her, she took the ten steps next door to where she’d hopefully be able to fix her awful mess. Still she hovered outside, hand outstretched, hovering as she took one last deep breath.

Her hand never reached the doorknob.

Before Natasha could make contact with the metal, a hot spark of red zapped her hand and she jumped back to avoid further attack. “Wa-”

“Don’t even think about it, Natasha Romanoff.” The first time she heard that voice again, she didn’t expect it to sound so dangerous. Natasha expected anger, but she didn’t know Wanda could sound so threatening.

She’d be a fool to try the knob again, it’d only upset her further. Nevertheless, it was important she at least got part of her message out. “I know you’re upset, Wanda. I’m upset with myself too. I was wrong, so wrong. I never should have hurt you like I did, I should have just talked to you. That’s on me. I want to prove to you I’m sorry, maybe even earn your trust back eventually? Whenever you’re ready.” Natasha sighed, twisting her still tingling hand in the other. “I miss you, but I ruined us. Not you. I’m sorry, Wanda.”

Unbeknownst to Natasha, Wanda had wandered closer to the door as soon as she noticed the other pacing outside of her doorway. She wasn’t ready to talk to her; she couldn’t find a way to face her yet without fear of looking like she was coming crawling back without having heard an apology, but before she could think too hard on it, Natasha was speaking. Her heart grew heavy with the weight of Natasha’s words. She wasn’t one for feelings or true emotions and although fairly clumsily uttered, Wanda knew sincerity when she heard it. Swayed as her heart was to run into the arms of the woman she missed for the past week, her brain instantly reminded her of other words.

You still want her after she told you how clingy you are? She’s right. You are pathetic.

The ache was back, stinging just as sharp as the day she’d first heard. She couldn’t yet.

Wanda’s back hit the wall, sinking to the floor with her knees huddled close to her chest. She knew Natasha had just been angry when she lashed out, that she wouldn’t typically be so public with her outbursts, much less direct them towards her, but there were some true feelings within those poison laced words and Wanda didn’t want to have that conversation yet.

“Well.. you know where to find me.” Wanda hated how sad Natasha sounded; she must’ve been tearing herself apart. She despised not being able to fix things. Soft footsteps told Wanda she was fully alone again and although that should have let her relax, she groaned with how empty she felt once more.

✣ ✣ ✣

Another week went by with no exchanged words and Natasha was beginning to give up hope. She’d ruined everything between them seemingly irreparably; asking any of her teammates yielded a non-committal response, none of them were spending tons of time with her either. She’d given up on knocking, having only met silence or words of warning. All she could do was wait.

For Wanda’s part, she felt like she was going to burst. Her skin felt like it was on fire, nervous energy sparking right under the surface. She’d closed herself off to everyone, opening herself up to Natasha was a mistake, it must have been. Her last words to her had been apologetic and kind, but the hurtful ones still lingered and she felt stuck. It was tearing her apart. Even more so, today’s training left her disoriented- earthquake simulation. As the fake ground shook under her and buildings fell, Wanda was spiraled back to childhood and more recently, Sokovia, and although she played it off as nothing with others, as soon as she was back in the safety of her room she fell apart.

Before she would seek out Natasha, whisper her worries against her skin from under the safety of a warm blanket. She couldn’t do that now, couldn’t ask such a thing from Natasha after what she said and after near radio silence for a month. Wanda huddled in her own bed, tired eyes staring longingly at the wall separating her and Natasha’s room. The person she wanted -needed- was so close, but so far. “You’re fine. You’ve dealt with this alone before.”

✣ ✣ ✣

Natasha couldn’t sleep. Not for lack of exhaustion; she’d been training longer these days in hopes of catching more glimpses of Wanda, just to make sure she looked okay. It was working and thankfully from what she could see, Wanda was alright. The past few days were different though; she looked more tired, dragging along more and more, and now today she’d survived the earthquake simulator. To anyone else, Wanda looked like her normal self, quiet and to herself, but Natasha saw the girl’s hands shake, watched her stance go slack in a way she’d warned Wanda against many times. Afterwards, Wanda was off to her usual seclusion before Natasha could reach her from across the room so she settled for giving Bruce a stern talking to instead. He should’ve known better than to shove Wanda in that simulation, especially by herself.

She left a properly admonished Bruce, heading in the direction of Wanda’s room. Arguments be damned, she wouldn’t let Wanda explode alone, even if she hated her for intruding after. If her repeated self-reassurance weren’t enough to convince her by the time she reached her destination, the moans and whines from within set her mind. Natasha hovered again, weighing the consequences, but Wanda let out such a sob that she couldn’t ignore. “Wanda? Can I come in please?” Her hand landed safely on the door, an improvement from last time.

“It’s just me, I wanted to check on you after training.” No response, but no rejection either. She turned the knob, grateful Wanda seemed to have forgotten to lock the door. Whether it was a mistake or a silent hope for Natasha’s intervention, she didn’t know, but she would use the opportunity. She could barely find Wanda in the dark room, but her eyes settled on the small form in the middle of her large bed and Natasha was by her side in an instant.

“Wanda? Sweetheart, hey, it’s me. What’s wrong?” Her eyes were unfocused, pupils blown wide with fear. Natasha longed to scoop her up, but she couldn’t startle her; she didn’t even know if she’d want her there once she realized who she was. Still, it hurt so deeply to have let her get this bad; she could’ve helped if Wanda trusted her enough to reach out. Natasha waited for what felt like hours until Wanda noticed her, crouching by a bed was rough on her tired knees, but she’d stay like that forever if need be. When Wanda finally made eye contact, she only stared at the redhead, as if figuring out whether the woman in front of her was real or not. She took a daring step, holding her hand out to Wanda, keeping it in her eyeline as long as she could until her palm reached her head. Her thumb moved, ever so softly, over her scalp as a test. Anything she could do to soothe her. “I’m here, Wands.”

If Natasha weren’t so strong, Wanda would’ve knocked her over. She’d thrown her full weight onto her in an instant, clinging to Natasha for dear life while her lower half still hung from the bed. There were so many things tearing at her, so much emotion she needed to unload, but she was too overwhelmed. Natasha had come to her. Had ignored their month of silence and hurt feelings to try to aid her and it left her stunned. “Tash- Natasha.. I-I’m so sorry..”

“Ah, no none of that,” Natasha stood with a grunt, taking Wanda with her to set them both on the bed. She navigated her way to the top of the bed in the dark, only stopping when her back hit the headboard, letting Wanda hold onto her, “This is my fault, I’m sorry. I should have been here for you.”

Wanda shook her head slowly, burying herself as far into the crook of her neck as deep as she could. “No. I should’ve been able to handle training today. You were right, I can’t do anything myself. I’m weak and pathetic and..” Sobs took over any chance of coherent words, shaking against the warm body she’d missed so much. Part of her screamed to move away, to suck up her tears and prove to Natasha she was just fine on her own. But she couldn’t pretend. She was fine on her own, she could handle it, but she needed the comfort of someone she trusted too. Someone she could relay her thoughts too instead of bottling them all inside until they got the best of her.

Before she knew it, Natasha felt tears rolling down her cheeks as well. She hated crying, couldn’t stand being so outwardly vulnerable with someone else, but if Wanda could be with her then she owed her the same trust. Toned arms pulled the small woman trembling against her closer, pressing frantic kisses to the crown of her head, anything to show her apologies. “You’re not weak for your emotions, detka. It’s one of the strongest things you could do to allow yourself to open yourself up and trust me.. I should have given you that same trust and been honest from the start.” Natasha cradled Wanda’s head to her chest, rocking her as sweetly as she could. She knew she was holding her a fraction too tight, but she couldn’t help it. Reassuring fingers brushed through long brunette hair, keeping her as close as possible.

“Can you forgive me?” The muffled voice from below temporarily shook Natasha from her waterfall of revelations and she remembered why they were in this situation.

“Moya sladkaya detka, you were forgiven weeks ago. You were trying to help me and yes, we need to talk about how I deal with the aftermath of long missions because I do sometimes need time to myself, but nothing, nothing you did warranted how I hurt you.” Wanda froze and for a moment Natasha was scared she would pull away, but she nodded slowly. “Can you forgive me?”

That was a loaded question. Wanda fought to clear her thoughts, organize them in any way that could possibly make sense. She wanted so badly to simply accept and stay in Natasha’s arms. It wasn’t that she thought Natasha was lying to her; she truly believed she was sorry for what she did, but that didn’t mean those words didn’t still swirl through her head everyday since she’d first uttered them. It was hard to think so close to her. Wanda pried herself away from Natasha, not missing the way Natasha kept hold on her hips as if letting go meant she’d lose her forever. “I want to forgive you, Natasha.”

It hurt, but it was fair. She didn’t expect an easy apology and didn't deserve one either. “There’s a but coming, right?” Wanda couldn’t meet her eyes; she only avoided eye contact when she had more to say and was biding her time. “You don’t have to forgive me, Wanda. I’m willing to do whatever you need to make you feel safe again, no matter how long it takes.” And she meant it. Natasha would put in the work for Wanda, she was more than worth it.

She knew what she needed. It was the only way she could think of easing her mind. Still, Wanda promised she wouldn’t do it again unless she had to, but… she had to. “I need to feel you.” A hesitant ring-clad hand reached out, tapping Natasha’s temple to finish the thought she couldn’t speak. “Nothing traumatic, nothing too deeply buried.. hopefully, at least.” Rarely was it hard for Wanda to search out thoughts in someone about a particular person who crossed their mind regularly. She hoped it was more than wishful thinking that Natasha had her in her thoughts with some frequency. “Please, Tash… I need to know you feel more for me than just ‘clingy, weak puppy.’”

Natasha opened her mouth to retort, to try to take her harsh words back, but she knew it wouldn’t help. The thought of Wanda searching through her mind again scared her still. Last time left her shaken for weeks, months, after what she’d dug up, but back then Wanda was looking to hurt her and damn, she was great at it. She had to trust she wouldn’t do that now. Trust was so hard. A promise was a promise, though. Natasha took Wanda’s free hand in both of hers, a lifeline to hold while she gave herself to the woman she cared so much for. “Okay.. be gentle?”

Wanda let out a chuckle; Natasha’s sensitive side was so very cute. “I would never be anything but, dorogoy.” Natasha nodded, swallowing her fears with reassurance. Wanda was only ever kind to her, too much at times; Steve and Sam never missed an opportunity to poke fun at Natasha when in the early days Wanda was practically exploding with nerves around the redhead. Eventually they figured out it was less that Wanda thought Natasha was going to beat the pulp out of her and more that she wished the older woman would crush her with her thighs- but the two men waited for Natasha to figure that one out on her own.

“Go ahead, Wands. Just be quick about it, alright? I don’t want to spill all my secrets right now.” Wanda agreed with a quiet hum, shaking her head and straightening her spine before moving her fingers alongside Natasha’s head. It reminded her of the first time they’d officially met; a bittersweet memory of how stunning she felt her then enemy was, but bringing her trauma to the surface before those steadfast blue eyes caught sight of her. Now though, Wanda was careful. Only going deep enough to look at Natasha’s memories and thoughts about her. How surprised she was that Wanda was as powerful as she was. Her instant and ongoing distrust of her when she and her brother came to aid the Avengers in Sokovia. Natasha’s annoyance at her stolen red jacket, with an added and apparently shocking sense of possessiveness brought on by seeing her in her clothing. Interesting. Wanda would note that little fact for the future.

Red ringed eyes shone in the darkness, both locked onto Natasha’s and staring far past her. She wanted to be open and honest, that was the whole point. Consequently Wanda let Natasha see what she was seeing and with every twinge of irritation her past self felt towards Wanda and her initial attempts to gain trust with her new team, specifically with herself, her current self cringed at her behavior. But slowly things shifted. Resentment shifted to reluctant endearment, then care and protection and finally into where she longed for Wanda’s calming presence when she was stressed or wanted a confidant. The weight of vulnerability felt like being flayed alive and despite the hand Natasha held using one finger to stroke reassuringly at her palm, she squirmed as they approached that night Natasha came home a month ago.

“You’re fighting me.” The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed, pushing harder at the memory Natasha was keeping away from her. “Stop it.”

Red curls shook as Natasha hung her head; she didn’t want to live through it again. Every night it haunted her. She should’ve just talked to her, given her credit for being one of the most understanding people she’s ever met, having her see it again would just push Wanda further away- “I can still hear your thoughts, Natasha.” Her racing concerns rang loud in Wanda’s own brain, blocking out any hope of unlocking that dreaded outburst until she could get her to calm down. “Trust me, please. You have to let me in.” True, Wanda could forcibly rip the memory from her with ease. It would take such little effort, but she wouldn’t- couldn’t. She needed Natasha to let her see, allow herself to be this forthcoming with Wanda. That would speak louder than anything.

It took everything in Natasha to take her next breath, “Okay, do it.” Wanda breathed a sigh of relief, Natasha’s agreement giving her hope of progress. She slipped her hand from Natasha’s warm grasp, ignoring the small sad noise she was sure Natasha didn’t want to talk about. Instead her hand went to the back of Natasha’s head and brought it forward to rest on her shoulder, her nose promptly burying itself in the crook of Wanda’s neck. Her gentle floral scent settled Natasha’s worries; it’d been too long since she was allowed so close. “I trust you.”

[moon-light-jukebox]

see? - [Reid x Reader] - Chapter 3

masterlist

previous chapter // series index // next chapter

Summary: Months after Reader left, Reid has tried to put his life back together. He’s never stopped trying to find Reader, but he may find her in the worst way possible. 

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3.3k for Chapter 3

Content Warning: Normal Criminal Minds stuff. Mentions of drug addiction. This series has a villain, and he harms women. There is no s*xual assault, but there is brief talk of torture, and then the death of the victims. Spoiler: Our unsub targets pregnant women, one of the infants does not survive. Reader and her baby are fine. I don't go into detail, but if you need to skip this, I understand. 

A/n: How can I ever thank you all enough for being so patient with me? That being said, this chapter does end on a cliffhanger that you probably saw coming if you read “River” by @yours-truly-r​. She shared this plot with me, so this is my version. I’ll try my best not to make you wait too long for chapter 4. Chapter 3 & 4 are in Spencer’s point of view, but the remainder of the series will be in Reader’s POV. 

-- Linear Progression -- 

(Spencer’s POV)

The night we came back from my first case with the BAU, Morgan declared that he was going to a bar near his apartment to "get lucky." When I pointed out the fact that it was almost 2 am, he had told me, "time is an illusion, Pretty Boy."

That was the first time he called me pretty boy, along with the first time I tried to explain a theoretical concept he had no interest in hearing.

He was right to a degree. The way we understand time is an illusion. Time doesn’t happen in the linear way that we as a society perceive it to. The physics of time are still widely debated, but the running hypothesis is that everything that has ever happened is still happening right now. Every single moment in time is happening all at once, and it always will be.

Morgan didn’t “get lucky” that night, but he did give me a ride back to my apartment. I think that was the beginning of our friendship; I had never been able to understand the social constructs of relationships and friendships, but I think he felt some sort of responsibility for the skinny kid with glasses who was babbling about the physics of time at 3 am.

My friendship with Derek Morgan was one of the most important of my life.

Which is why I wasn't going to murder him for banging on my door at 7 am.

“Open up, Pretty Boy!”

Grumbling, I got out of bed and padded down the hallway towards my living room where Morgan was pounding on the door so hard, I was concerned it was going to fly off its hinges.

“If you break my door, you’re gonna fix it,” I muttered out when I finally pulled the door open.

The man who was the closest thing to a brother I had just smiled at me. “I restore houses, kid. It’d be an improvement.”

Smirking, I waved him into my apartment. In the months since…Since February, Morgan had made it a habit of coming by several times a week whenever we were in town. I don’t know if the rest of the team knew he did it, I don’t know if they were as worried about me as he was, but it wouldn’t have surprised me.

“Coffee?” I asked, making my way into the kitchen.

"We'll grab some on the way," he said, flopping down on my couch. "We have a case; I told Hotch I'd swing by and get you. It's wheels up as soon as we get there and finish the briefing."

I frowned. “I didn’t get any message.”

“I know. I asked Garcia to let me wake you.” He turned his head around to look at me. “You haven’t been sleeping, kid.”

He wasn’t wrong. “It’s…I’m trying, Derek.”

I didn’t need to say it, because he knew it. Much like time, recovery isn’t a linear process. You start, you stumble, you go back, sometimes you go up then down. It’s an imperfect journey because there isn’t a finish line; addiction can’t be beaten, only beaten back.

Derek Morgan had been beside me through every step of my recovery.

Lumbering off the couch, he walked over to stand before me. “Reid, you’re doing the best you can. Everyone stumbles.”

I shook my head. “It’s different. I can…I can still see it. I can still see it all, Morgan.”

I could still see the look on Ben’s face when he found the vials of Dilaudid I had hidden all around my apartment. I could still remember the look on Hotch’s face when he told me she was gone. I could still see the anger on Garcia’s face when she refused to help me find her.

Most of all, I remember how y/n looked when I told her I would kill her, give up her precious life, for one more moment with Maeve. Every morning, right before I wake up, that memory flashes behind my eyes.

I’ve called in every favor I’m owed, reached out to every connection; no one could find her. She vanished.

I quickly realized the only way she could vanish like that is if she had help from inside the bureau, and if I had to guess, I’m sure I know who helped her. If she went to all these lengths, she didn’t want to be found, least of all by me.

"We'll find her, Spencer," Morgan said gently, pulling me from my thoughts.

He said the words to comfort me, but even he knew they weren’t true. No one would find y/n y/l/n until she wanted to be found.

Nodding my head, I made my way back towards my bedroom to get ready for the case.

Making amends is very big in the recovery process. I wanted to make amends to y/n, and while I wanted that to be in the traditional sense, I settled for a symbolic one.

I tried to make myself into the man she thought I was before that night. Every time I felt the itch crawl up my spine, I thought of her face. It didn't make the craving go away; it just made it easier to bear.

I didn’t deserve to have her back in my life, but I wanted to be someone who did.

After I had finished getting ready, I made my way over to my bedside table to pick up the coin I carried with me everywhere, running my fingers over the edges before placing it in my pocket.

Two hundred and forty-seven days sober, and each one of them was for her.

--

We never made it to the bullpen that morning. Hotch called and informed us that it was wheels up "immediately," and that we would debrief on the plane. Morgan and I were the last members of the team to arrive. He took a seat on the couch beside Callahan while I opted to sit at the table across from Hotch and JJ.

“Garcia is going to be out for the remainder of the week. She has the flu,” our unit chief informed us, his eyes fixed on the tablet in front of him.

Morgan toyed with his phone, no doubt trying to text his ‘baby girl’ before take-off. “Who is going to be running things from here since she’s out? Kevin?”

Hotch nodded, but I couldn’t help but notice he seemed distracted. “He’s the most familiar with Garcia’s systems.”

“Is that what they’re calling it these days,” Rossi muttered just a bit too loudly, earning a mock glare from Hotch, a confused look from Kate, an eye roll from Morgan and JJ, and a soft huff of laughter from me.

“Let’s get started,” Hotch ordered, drawing all of our focus back to the present. “The Oregon State Police have requested our help.”

I couldn’t help but wrinkle my nose at the tablet in front of me, further proof Garcia wasn’t on this case. Despite how mad she was at me over Y/n, she still always accommodated my wishes for paper files.

The state police?” Morgan asked. “Not the locals?”

"No," Hotch answered, right as I brought up an image on my screen. "He's not sticking to one county."

I heard a strangled gasp from JJ, but I didn't need to look up to know why. “How many?” I asked.

“When the original request was made two women had been abducted. Both of them were pregnant, days from giving birth, and both from the same town of Silverton, Oregon. The first victim was Iris Jenkins. She was a 31-year-old woman, and she was 40 weeks and 2 days gestation when she was taken by the unsub. The M.E. estimates he held her for less than 24 hours before she died.”

“The baby?” JJ asked, her voice thick with emotion.

“He was left outside of a local hospital in Silverton. He was completely unharmed. The next intended victim is Nancy Williamson. She was abducted outside her workplace. Also 40 weeks pregnant with a boy.”  

“Could that be a coincidence?”

Hotch still didn’t look up from his tablet. “It could have been before the latest victim.”

“But Nicole Williamson escaped?” Morgan asked. “That’s lucky. Did she give a description of the guy?”

“No, she said he kept her blindfolded and bound to a chair.”

That caused me to pause. "That doesn't make sense. Why would the unsub blindfold them if he plans on killing them anyway?"

Rossi spoke for the first time. “Psychological torture? Sensory deprivation?”

I thought about that as I swiped through the crime scene photos; pausing when I saw a photograph of a letter on the screen. "He makes them write letters?”

“Just the first victim and the third. The one that got away was only held for 12 hours.”

I frowned. “Is this blood? Or just red ink?”

“The first is red ink, the second letter is still being processed.”

It was obvious based on the letter spacing and how many loops were in the letters that a woman wrote this letter. Based on the contents of the letter, I could also assume she was under duress.

Hotch spoke again, pulling my focus. “Morgan, I'd like for you and JJ to drive up to Silverton. Visit Miss Williamson and ask if she's up for a cognitive interview, then visit the M.E., ask him if he remembers anything about the first victim.”

“Where was the…” JJ’s question trailed off when he got to the same image Kate’s hand had been frozen over for the last 47 seconds, the same photo that was described in the incident report that Hotch had on his screen.

My unit chief, my friend, cleared his throat before he spoke. “Kayla Whitmore was found an hour ago in Eugene, Oregon. The autopsies are already underway, and the scene is being processed.”

“The cause of death seems pretty apparent,” Morgan said with a look of disgust on his face.

"The time between this most recent kill and the last abduction is much shorter. We need to move fast," Hotch said, his voice grave. "Kate, I'd like for you to come with me to the FBI satellite office in Bend, that's where we're landing. Kayla Whitmore's credit card was used to buy gas right outside the town limits. Rossi, I'd like for you and Reid to ride out to Eugene. It should be undisturbed."

"I already don't understand this guy," Rossi muttered. "The first baby survives, the third doesn't. The second victim is blindfolded, but it doesn't appear the others were. He makes them write their own letters. Then he uses the third victim's credit card. This behavior…it's erratic."

“Is the message on the wall the same in both crime scenes?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Yes.”

--

The media hadn’t named our unsub yet, but I was sure it wouldn’t be long, especially once word of Kayla Whitmore reached the public. This type of violence always draws attention.

Rossi was moving around the room, silent, but his eyes moving rapidly over everything. “He’s a cocky son of a bitch, I’ll give him that.”

I nodded. “Do we have the original note?” One of the deputies brought over an evidence bag, inside of it was the wrinkled piece of paper. “Have we analyzed this yet?”

The man nodded. “It’s red ink, just like the last.”

"It makes sense; blood might start to coagulate and make it more difficult to work with. Rossi, come here." I called, offering him the note.

“Give justice to the weak and the fatherless; maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked,” he read. “It sounds biblical.”

“It is. It’s Psalm 82, verses 3 through 4.”

“Was the first note biblical?”

“The first victim was made to write, ‘Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.’ That’s from Ephesians. There are similar themes in both letters.”

“So, he’s perverting the bible to fit his own fucked up narrative? How original.” The older man handed the paper back to me. “We have to find out how he’s choosing them.”

My gaze moved over to the right wall of the room. "Did the unsub leave any prints when he wrote on the wall?"

It wasn't the first message I'd seen written in blood, but I don't think it's something you ever get used to. “’Do you see this, son of man?’ could be another biblical reference. It’s Ezekiel chapter 8, verse 17. “Do you see this, son of man? Yet you will see still greater abominations than these.’”

“So, are the children abominations? Or the mothers?” The deputy said quietly.

“The mothers,” I answered. “He doesn’t harm the children. I think it must go against his…moral code.”

The deputy scoffed behind me, and I was inclined to agree; the idea that someone could do something like this and have a moral code was almost impossible to imagine.

But devils hide in plain sight all the time.

“His rage is escalating,” I pointed out.

I heard the deputy ask Rossi what that meant.

“This guy is a bum,” the man who developed the art of profiling explained. "He can't get a girlfriend, and he has this idea in his mind that it’s the women’s fault. He thinks women owe him sex, love, whatever he wants.”

I walked away from the wall, turning to face the two men. “He thinks they’re dirty, unclean. It’s why he makes them write the note.  By making them say they deserved what he did to them, he’s humiliating them even after death.”

The deputy’s face was pale as he survived the scene around him. “Why does he make them leave the messages in their own blood?”

“Only one message is from them,” I replied, gesturing to the evidence bag. “The message in the blood is from the unsub.”

Before we exited the room, I turned back to that message again, feeling the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Both victims had been discovered in the exact same way. The women were naked, stabbed multiple times, but with no signs of sexual assault. They were positioned in the middle of the blood-soaked mattress, their arms spread wide.

He had left the same message on the walls of the room, written in the blood of the woman he killed.

“Do you see this, son of man? Do you see?”

--

“The media is calling him The Prophet.”

Rossi scoffed. “I bet it was that wet behind the ears deputy who leaked the note and told him the kid’s biblical theories.”

Rossi and I had arrived at the FBI office in Bend, Oregon about an hour ago. Kate and Hotch had already set up; JJ and Morgan were on their way back from Silverton now.

“So, what do we know about this jag-off?” Rossi questioned, staring at the evidence board.

Hotch came to stand at the head of the conference table, his eyes sharp, his voice clipped. "Reid, Dave, what did the M.E. say about the Eugene autopsies?”

"He said he suspected it was a botched c-section. Kayla was just over 40 weeks pregnant, but he said it's not uncommon for first-time mothers to go up to 42 weeks.”

“I know that’s right,” I heard JJ mutter from the speaker placed in the center of the table.

“Indicates a lack of medical knowledge,” Morgan offered. “Because we know this guy isn’t squeamish.”

I agreed with my friend but didn't comment on it; my mind already on another topic. "What's interesting is that Kayla had an anterior placenta, meaning it attached to the front of her uterus. Usually, the placenta attaches to the posterior wall, meaning it's more towards her back. Because of the unusual placement of the placenta, I think that the death of this fetus was accidental."  

“It wasn’t a fetus, Reid,” Kate snapped. “It was a baby.”

I cleared my throat, meeting her angry gaze. I knew Callahan was the guardian of a young girl, and based on my years working with fellow agents who were also parents, I knew it was best not to argue about definitions and semantics. "I'm sorry, Kate," I murmured.

Her gaze softened. "It's fine. Sorry. This case is just…this is a lot." She looked down to swipe across her tablet screen. "This child was a boy too?"

I nodded. “All three of the victims were pregnant with boys.”

“So, he wants boys?”

Rossi turned to Kate. “He wants mothers of boys. Probably his way of killing his mother over and over again.”

“But how does he know the babies are boys?” JJ asked.

“So, what do they have in common?” Hotch asked. “Let’s add Nicole Williamson into the mix too, what do we have?”

“There were quotes from the bible in the two complete notes. Those specific verses are often referenced when they speak about protecting children,” I said, my eyes moving over the files. “The women were all in their 20’s. They were all at least 39 weeks pregnant, and...huh, there’s not a father named in any of the medical charts.”

“But how does he know that!” JJ huffed again in frustration.

“And are we sure this unsub is a guy?” Callahan questioned. “There was no sign of sexual assault.”

“If we follow statistics, women take babies, and men take children. With that in mind, it would be safe to assume this was a woman, but the amount of rage we’re seeing makes me think it’s a man.” I turned my back to the team, my eyes moving over the crime scene photos. "The letter was written under duress, but the language is very misogynic. Based on the information Kevin gathered about Kayla's online life, she had a normal amount of self-esteem. It's out of character that she'd talk about herself this way. By all accounts, she was excited for the baby. It's also incredibly difficult to stab someone 54 times. All the women would have fought him until the end. He'd have to be stronger to subdue her. It's a biological instinct, mothers' will stop at nothing to protect their children."

Hotch had pulled out his phone before I finished speaking, dialing Kevin Lynch to give him the criteria of the person we were searching for. "We need women in the Bend, Oregon area that are close to giving birth. There will not be fathers listed on the medical charts. She'll be at least 39 weeks into her pregnancy."

“Alright, so that would leave us with…” Kevin wasn’t able to finish his sentence before an alarm started blaring over the speaker, almost drowning out Kevin’s yelp of surprise.

“What is it?” Hotch asked. “Did something happen?”

"I…I don't know, sir," Kevin answered after he had finally gotten the alarm to quiet. "I was running the search, and…it triggered some sort of system-wide alarm. It completely locked me out of Penny’s system.”

Morgan clicked his tongue. “That doesn’t make any sense. Penelope wouldn’t set some alarm without a reason.”

“Wait. Kevin, was there any sort of message that came up when you triggered the alarm?” Hotch asked, his tone urgent.

There was a weird tension on Hotch’s face while he waited for Kevin to reply. “Yeah, uh, just a dialogue box that says ‘Nightingale.’”

“Nightingale?” Kate asked. “Isn’t that the…”

Hotch didn't reply; he hung up abruptly while Kevin was still speaking. I felt a chill run down my spine when I noticed his hands trembled slightly.

“What is it, Hotch?” Rossi asked urgently.

But he never got a chance to answer; a deputy stormed into the room. "We just got a report of an abandoned car outside of a grocery store about half a mile from here. It's registered to a young woman, and there was an empty infant car seat strapped in the back."

Hotch took the paper from him but didn't look at it. His eyes were screwed shut, and his shoulders were tense.

I heard when the voice spoke on the other end of the line. I heard the deep breath Hotch let out before he spoke.

“Penelope, I need to know where y/n is.”

----------

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The Bargain Pt 9 | Feysand

Modern AU. Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 10

Rhys had not intended for Feyre to ever see the drawings he turned into tattoos. He had made them impulsively and figured she'd never know and so it wouldn't matter anyway.

When Rhys first saw Feyre in the initial meeting, the thought of his tattoos did not enter his mind until later that night. He had been nervous then, but just made sure to wear long sleeves during the week and wasn't too worried. After all, there had been many occasions where he had had to hide his tattoos before.

He had not expected the spike in the weather today, making him warm under his black shirt. He had not expected to forget himself and push up the sleeves. He had not expected Feyre to react the way she did when she saw his arm.

He had not expected to wind up kissing her on her couch.

In fact, Rhys wasn't exactly sure how they got there, how drawing had turned to touching, and how touching had turned to kissing. What he did know is that he'd never had anything quite so sweet as Feyre on his tongue.

And at first, this was enough. The exchange of his breath for hers, the slide of her petal lips, and the heat of her mouth were all he wanted for a long, star-filled minute.

Then some dark longing clawed its way up his throat and the desire to bite and scratch, to mark her like she had asked came bubbling up out of him. Rhys pushed it down, tried to keep the kiss chaste. But then Feyre's tongue touched his and the next thing he new he had his teeth in her soft lower lip, and his grip tightening at her waist.

For a long time after Aramantha, Rhys had wanted to be the kind of person that was capable of a gentle, sweet kind of a love. He was so scared of hurting someone the way he had been hurt- but as a result the encounters he had after that long-term relationship were brief and didn't seem to mean much at all.

So on the one hand, Rhys was desperate to keep Feyre safe to keep himself in control. On the other, it was both fear and the deepest relief when she curled her arms around his neck and said "more." Knotted her fingers in his hair and said "more." Climbed right into his lap and said "more."

Rhys moaned raw and rough, and then he was scraping his fingers up her back under her shirt and crushing her body to him like he could absorb her whole.

The truth was that Rhys had always needed to feel things very deeply. Had needed tight hugs as a child, had wrestled in high school, had learned to tattoo on his own legs. Had spent a lot of time trying to hold himself back from being too rough with other people.

And yet here was Feyre, wrapped around him and squeezing him right back. He changed the angle of their kiss, and lit up all the way down his spine when Feyre licked the inside of his teeth.

"Where have you been all my life?" Rhys mumbled. "Somewhere in a studio, probably," Feyre replied, taking his lip between her teeth. Rhys shivered. "I've been in all the wrong places, then," he said. He moved his nose along her jaw. "I told you to start painting," Feyre said, her head tipping back. "I should have listened earlier," Rhys lamented, and kissed down to her shoulder.

"Still want me to mark your skin?" he asked against her collarbone.

Feyre said nothing, just pulled her hair over her left shoulder and tugged her shirt down on the right, to expose the stretch of skin there.

Rhys' eyes went dark. He slid one hand in her hair to cradle her skull, and the other behind her scapula to tug her in. Then he closed his mouth over her join of her neck and shoulder, and laid down a soft, slow bite that gave way to a suck. Kissed the small bruise tenderly, reverently and then smoothed his thumb over it. Then he nipped his teeth just once at her throat, before pulling away. Reluctantly.

"Has anyone ever told you, you have perfect skin?" he said. "People have told me a lot of things," Feyre replied, a half smile tilting her face.

"I thought it the first time I tattooed you," Rhys said. "It was so easy." "And what makes good skin for tattooing?" Feyre asked. Rhys shrugged, and kept running his fingers over the mark he had made.

"I don't know what exactly. But with some people, you have to really work the ink in there. For some people if falls out, or worse, bleeds like a shadow. But you? You make it easy like drawing on silk."

"Well thanks," Feyre said, picking up his hand and running her lips along his knuckles. "Maybe my skin knows what it wants. Maybe it likes your touch."

Rhys shuddered at this and cupped his hands around her face. Slid his thumbs down the column of her throat. Her eyes fluttered closed and he bit his lip to prevent himself from kissing her again.

"I should go," he said quietly. Feyre's eyes snapped open. "Why?" she asked. "Because," said Rhys, his fingers squeezing very lightly around her neck, "if I don't leave right now I think I might eat you whole."

Feyre's eyes flashed. "Maybe I'd like it," she said. Rhys gave a rueful grin. "Seriously," he murmured. "Why haven't I had you always?" "You've got me now," Feyre said, and a low growl slid from Rhys' chest. He closed his eyes, to regain control.

"I'm not good at this," he said quietly. "I get too intense and too fast and too much." "So you're deciding for me?" Rhys laughed, and then looked at her with eyes that did not match his mouth.

"We've got all day tomorrow. You can tell me exactly how you want to spend it. I just..." Rhys looked away for a second, searching for the words. "I know this all sort of just started happening but I couldn't stand it if you thought it was a mistake."

Feyre looked at him a little oddly, but then nodded.

"Okay," she said. "I'll think about it, and when I'm sure I'll tell you I'm sure. But Rhys?" she asked. "You have to believe me when I tell you."

Rhys nodded. "I will."

Then he pressed his lips to her forehead, picked up his jacket, and waved as he walked out the door.

The walk back to the hotel was a good opportunity for Rhys to clear his head. Part of him was kicking himself for leaving Feyre's apartment, but he also knew himself. How many times had he scared people off by moving too fast, by feeling too intensely? He was not going to fuck it up this time. Even if he was due back in New York the day after next.

By the time Rhys was riding the elevator to his floor, he was feeling calmer and had talked himself into believing in his decision.

The lift stopped with a 'bing' and Rhys padded down the carpeted hallway. Turned the corner to his room, and found Feyre leaning on his door frame.

"I thought about it," she said casually, "and I'm sure."

****

I'm sorry for the cliffhangers everyone got so mad last time 🙈🙈 But I'm writing the next part right now I promise!!

MASTERLIST

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[talesofafangirlwithadvr]

April 2021 Picks

And we’re back with the end to another month. April! Wow! Lots more great picks to talk about this time. Lots of new ones to the list too. So, let’s dive in!

Spoiler territory ahead!

THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER

or should I say Captain America and the Winter Soldier

I just finished the finale last night, so it felt right to start off with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I really enjoyed it and I feel the episodes got stronger as the series went on. Each one felt like a mini-movie and I was upset it was over and had to wait another week for another one. I think the finale was my favorite. Especially the reveal of Sam as Captain America. I love his suit, his speech and the montage of everyone watching him. The last part of the episode was definitely my favorite and one I can watch on repeat. I loved seeing happy Bucky and him goofing off with the kids in Louisiana. He deserves so much happiness as he has now accepted he’s no longer who he once was. Bucky and Sam’s relationship is fantastic and I can’t wait to see it more. I know there’s a possibility of a second season and they have to be in a future MCU movie. Regarding the villain, I feel I was confused for most of the show as to what their objective was. I’m curious if this is because they had to reshoot parts during the pandemic. I also am mad with Sharon. Like what happened with her? She is definitely the true villain of the show. I also don’t love that we haven’t seen the end of Walker (but Wyatt Russell did a fantastic job). I also loved Torres and I hope he becomes the next Falcon. Definitely so different vibes from Wandavision, but just as good!

THE IRREGULARS

This is a show that more people need to be talking about! It was SO GOOD! I feel like I heard some buzz about it when it first came out, but not much after. It follows the teens featured about who live on the streets during Victorian London. The leader of their group, Bea gets approached by Dr. John Watson (that’s right...as in Sherlock and Watson) to take on a case that has more supernatural qualities. The story takes off from there. I think the group dynamic was fantastic. There wasn’t a character I didn’t like and each one brought something else important to the group (which they even bring up towards the end of the show). [I’ve watched a few cast interviews since finishing the finale and they seem like they get along really well in real life too.] There is a kind of love triangle, but it didn’t bother me and was over fast. I did like both combinations though. Lots of twists and turns along the journey. I have no idea if there will be another season, but there should be. It didn’t end on a major cliffhanger, but definitely ended in a way where it could continue nicely. Come on Netflix. 

HBO’S THE NEVERS

From one show set in Victorian times to the next. The Nevers just premiered on HBO and HBO Max earlier this month. It follows an ensemble of characters, similar to other HBO shows, ranging from characters who are called “the touched” to men in government who are against them. Being “touched” means they have a special talent or power, which can range from healing to speaking other languages, being extremely tall, or being an expectational inventor (I seriously love Penance. I just don’t know how to explain her ability). Amalia True and Penance Adair are two of the main characters and they help bring in others who are touched to a remodeled orphanage that is a safe haven for people like them. Of course there are those who are against them existing. This seems to be at least two groups as someone is abducting and experimenting on some of the touched, but we don’t know who they are...yet. I love the fusion of a historical setting with a fantasy element. I am very excited to see where the show is headed. I also love seeing so many of my favorite British actors on the screen together.      

ONCE UPON A TIME IN WONDERLAND

Time for a throw back. Fans of ABC’s Once Upon a Time might remember the short lived spin off following Alice in Wonderland (and some of Aladdin). It only lasted for one season of 13 episodes, but I remember loving it and I am so happy I can rewatch it on Disney Plus. It reminds me of why I enjoyed OUAT so much and I think this show deserved another season or more crossover with the original show. (Luckily the Knave got that opportunity.) I think it should have aired as a summer show or when OUAT was on hiatus, this way more fans would have tuned in. It is something I’ll believe forever. 

Anyway, I’ll stop ranting now... I love Alice. I think she’s a badass and a fierce warrior. If you follow some of my posts on my other blog, Lydia-yougowith-Stiles, you’ll know that I love a warrior romance and Cyrus and Alice fit that perfectly (even if they are apart for much of the series). I also love Alice’s hair and outfits. Everything about her is cool. Her relationship with the Knave is one of my favorite friendships ever. I think they balance each other out so well and how they spend most of the journey together. Back in the day, I totally shipped them, but now I definitely don’t. (Even though I don’t love Anastasia.) This is definitely worth the watch if you’ve ever heard of Once Upon a Time or not. There is very cheesy CGI especially for 2013, but once you get pass that you’ll love it. 

ZOEY’S EXTRAORDINARY PLAYLIST

It was on a longer break than I expected, and I didn’t miss it as much as I thought I would (which I know doesn’t sound good for a show), but I am still loving all the episodes this season. It feels like there are more musical numbers, which I love. Mandy Moore is killing it with the choreography. There are so many amazing moments. I also was a big fan of the newest glitch episode. Everyone is so talented and I also like that we’ve started to hear from more like Jenna and Tobin. Leif has become one of my favorites. I don’t love the new neighbor next door, but I think we’re done with his storyline. I’m not loving the Zoey love triangle, but I do like her with either Simon or Max. She seems really happy with Simon now. (FYI: I haven’t watched the most recent episode yet. The glitch one was my latest.) Can’t wait for more!    

KUNG FU

CW’s newest show this month was Kung Fu, which I just learned was a reboot. It follows Nicky who returns after 3 years to her home in San Francisco. Her family has mixed feelings as she has had no contact with them for the last 3 years. She is now a Kung Fu master and warrior, out to avenge her mentor’s death and stop a villain from acquiring mythical weapons. The show gives me Arrow vibes every time I watch it. It has similar flashbacks each episode to an earlier time in Nicky’s life. While Nicky’s mission is different, the style just gives me early seasons of Arrow vibes, which I am not complaining about. It stars Legacies’ Alyssa Chen, who I didn’t love on Legacies, but instantly fell in love with Nicky. I think she’s a bad ass character and love how she’s fighting for the underdogs on the streets of San Fran, while also taking down a bigger evil. The love triangle is heating up and I’m definitely team Henry (even though there’s some mystery there). I think he’s great and once again we have an awesome warrior romance. They balance each other so well and it’s only been like 3 episodes. Now they’ve also been sleuthing together and it’s just amazing. 

NANCY DREW

Are you sick of hearing me talk about CW’s Nancy Drew? I hope not because I’m going to fangirl again. I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH! I can’t wait till Wednesday comes and I tune in a little after it starts, so then I can fast forward on my DVR. Then when the episode is over I basically start it all over again and watch select scenes that were awesome. (More specifically, they tend to be Nancy and Ace scenes because I love them and we’re entering so much angst I don’t know if my heart will be able to handle it!!!) 

I’ll say it a thousand times: THIS CAST IS EVERYTHING! Their dynamic is amazing. You can have any match ups and it’ll be a great time. There is not one person I don’t like. I was so upset that there wasn’t a new episode last week (especially because it was my birthday). I loved the last one with the Hardy Boys and that Nace reveal! OMG! I’m so sad that Grant has left again because we barely had him, but I feel he’ll eventually come back. He has to. I loved the ending when he spoke to Thom by signing to him. (My heart!) I seriously can’t say enough great things about this show. It is not your typical CW show and deserves more love and views. So happy a third season has already been confirmed!! 

LAST NOTES

Just started Shadow and Bone on Netflix and am loving it! I’m sure I’ll have an entire post dedicated to it when I’m done. (Currently going to start episode 6.) I have no background on the universe or the books (just what my sister is filling me in with as we watch). I definitely plan on reading Six of Crows after this!

So what are you enjoying? Let me know. I’m always looking for more shows to add to the list! Can never have enough. 

[cucumbers-and-olives]

Enemies to Lovers Part 3

masterlist  <<part 1 <part 2 part 3 part 4 (coming soon!) >

Summary: You leave the Gillespie house and head to the airport with Charlie after an eventful two weeks. While at the airport, your flight gets delayed and you learn of some interesting news...

Category: enemies to lovers, angst, fluff

Fandom: JATP

Paring: Charlie Gillespie x fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings/Includes: arguing/fighting, small panic attack, cringy songs i wrote

A/N: so... i can never post on time. and i know its been a while since i posted the last chapter. i really hope you guys like this chapter! please reblog and comment and let me know what you think! your support means everything, and keeps me going, so thank you.

Mandatory Thanking of the Betas: thank you to @wrhen for giving me help and feedback with this chapter!

AO3 link here (coming soon!)

Please don’t repost my work without my permission, in part or whole. My work can also be found on AO3 @cucumbersandolives. Thank you!

Ice & Fire, and Enemies to Lovers are both my own songs that I wrote. All song rights go to me.

“Charlie! Y/N! Your cab is here!” Ms.Gillespie called. You checked under the bed one last time before grabbing your suitcase and backpack.

“Thank you so much for your hospitality Ms.Gillespie,” You said, walking up to her. “If you hadn’t invited me I would have spent Christmas alone, and this was so much better.”

“Christmas alone? What a loser,” Charlie remarked as he put his bag into the trunk of the cab. You just rolled your eyes.

“Charlie, be a gentleman and grab her suitcase.” Ms.Gillespie said with a calm yet authoritative tone. He grabbed your suitcase and did as he was told. “I’m sorry about him, but I’m happy you had a good time. Maybe you can join us next year?”

“I would be honored,” You said, taking a last glance around the house you had stayed at for the past two weeks.

“Hey! Let’s go!” Charlie hollered from outside. “We’re gonna miss the flight!”

“Thank you, Ms.Gillespie,” You adjusted your backpack and stepped outside to the man who had become a whiny teenager.

“Finally,” He said as you sat down. “She’s my mother, not yours.”

“I’m sorry about him,” You said to the lady in the driver's seat. “We’re all ready to go now, sorry for the wait.”

She nodded and began to drive. The scenery was nice, but it only took a couple of minutes for you to start yelling at Charlie.

“Fuck this,” You pulled out his earbud. The niceties could stop now that his mother wasn’t here. “I have tried to be nice to you this whole time, but now I can say this: You want to act like a little boy throwing a hissy fit? Fine, be my guest. But at least do it in someone else’s company, I have been nothing but kind to you, you-” You almost cussed again, but you reined yourself in. He was worth your anger but not that much of it.

He just rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Whatever you say, princess.” His words, taken in another context, could have easily been mistaken for something other than the daggers they were.

~

“It’s delayed,” He said, and that simple fact destroyed the rest of the day. “The plane has some issue. They think it’ll be at least two hours, if not more.”

“God, every time I try to like airports, something bad happens,” You said, slumping back into the uncomfortable airport chairs. You knew it wasn’t the airline’s fault, (well it kinda was), but you needed to get back to work. You fiddled with the cord on your headphones before putting them back on.

“Ah- Not so fast,” Charlie said, blocking you from putting them on. He showed you who was calling him. “If I have to talk to the boss man,” He said, referring to Kenny, “Then you do too.”

“See but I don’t,” You said, as you received a different call. “I have a different boss to talk to.”

“I mean, I’m not your boss-” The girl on the other end of the phone said, but Charlie cut her off.

“Are you actually going to talk to Jadah?” He said, about to accept Kenny’s call.

“No, Charlie. Sav’s phone died, so you talk to your boss and I’ll talk to mine.” You walked around for a bit to find a quieter corner of the airport.

“You okay, Y/N?” Jadah asked, finally.

“No, but that's for another time. What’s up?”

“So… Kenny is telling Charlie about the song showcase, but there’s one thing that he’ll leave out.” She said, leaving you on a cliffhanger.

“That is?” You said, prompting her.

“I- I may have slipped him your demos?” Jadah said slowly, and at that moment, all sense of keeping up public appearances went out the window.

“Jadah! Those were not yours to share! In any capacity!” You took a deep breath and asked your first question. “Where did you get them? I thought that the sound guy and I were the only ones with copies?” “I may have bribed him for a copy,” She said sheepishly. Even though you couldn’t see her, you knew she was nervous.

“Jadah, I have one other question.” You paused, trying to figure out how to ask nicely. “Which songs did you give him? Cause if you gave him Enemies-”

“I gave him Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers, and I can’t remember the third one. Please don’t be mad.”

“I’m not.” You were, a little bit. “Can you put Savannah on the phone though?” She gave a quick yes, and you could hear the phone being passed between hands.

“Y/N?” Savannah said.

“Did you know? A-about the demos,” You clarified.

“I knew you recorded them, and Jadah had me listen to them. You are amazing!”

“Thank you,” You said. “Uh, E.T.L. isn’t finished yet, but I had the time in the studio so I recorded it.” “Y/N, if you want to be a songwriter, you would be amazing!” She said, but you could tell what she meant.

“I won’t leave you in the middle of a show, Sav.” You were honest with your words. “I know.” She paused. You both knew what amazing opportunities would open up if you did. “Hold on one second, I’m going to go on mute really quick, okay?”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You could see Charlie coming towards you. His walk had a purpose, but one that was unknown to you.

“Hello, Mr.Ortega! How can I help?” You put your hand out to Charlie, signaling to him that if he talked he would be dead as Kenny spoke.

“I’m not sure if the girls have told you, but we’d love to have you perform your songs at the showcase.” He said, and you chose your words wisely, so that way Charlie wouldn’t know.

“I’d love to! What time, and which ones would you like to hear?” You asked, as you pulled out a pen and rolled up your sleeves.

“Ice & Fire, Enemies to Lovers or uh, E.T.L., I believe that was how Jadah referred to it?” He said, and you could tell he wasn’t sure what to call it.

“Yeah, I can do that, any others?” You said, scribbling down quick abbreviations of the titles.

“Oh there was one more, How to Be a Heartbreaker, I loved that one.” He said, pausing. “And I believe that Jadah mentioned that you had a few others? If you want to pick one or two, that would be great!”

“Alright! I know it’s weird to ask this, but no one has given me any details, so what time is the showcase, and where is it?” You asked, excited for the opportunity to perform.

“4:30 this afternoon, in dance studio A.” You wrote down the time quickly.

“Sir?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll be landing from my flight only an hour before that.”

“Y/N?”

“Yes?”

“You can do it.”

You scoffed a bit as the call ended. “Fuck.” You cussed under your breath.

“Wow, you talked to Kenny, and that's your response to a conversation with him? Anyways, I’m going to grab a coffee, want one?” He offered.

“Uh, I’ll just take a muffin, if they have one.” As you walked away, your brain was moving a mile a minute as you tried to figure out how everything would work.

“C’mon Y/L/N, if there’s one thing you can figure out, it’s making this work. You can do this.”

~

“Owen!” You said, running over to him.

“Hi!” He said giving you a hug, and then he looked at you. “Sav told me, you look like a mess.”

“Yeah, I know. Look, can you fix my necklace?” You said pointing to the jumbled mess it had gotten into around your neck.

“Yeah, ‘course, turn around,'' He said, and you did so. He got surprisingly close as you moved your hair away from your neck, and as he fiddled with it, you could see Charlie out of the corner of your eye. He had a look that you couldn’t put your finger on, but it almost seemed like… jealousy?

“All done!” He said, patting you on the back.

“Thank you,” You said, adjusting your sweatshirt a bit.

“You got this,” He said, grabbing your hand. “Okay?”

“Okay-” You said, but Kenny’s voice rose above everyone else's.

��Hello everyone! If you could turn your attention to the mirror, that would be great!” Everyone’s eyes turned to him, standing on a chair with a mic in hand. “Here's how this is going to work. I’d like our lovely leads to come to the mirror. Anyone else who isn’t singing can stand off of the dance floor over there,” He pointed to an area.

“If you are singing, you can follow me,” Paul said, raising his hand.

“Okay, go!” Kenny said, and as you followed Paul, you could hear him as a question. “Where is Charlie? Jeremy, check that bathroom, and Owen, look in the break room.”

~

“That was amazing Anna! Okay, who is next?” Kenny said, motioning to the person in front of you to come out. “Ah, Kevin, what do you have for us?”

Kevin began to talk, but it was hard to hear anything over your beating heart. You tried to take deep breaths, but it just got louder, and your worries began to overwhelm you. You took a step back in the line, making your way to the back. That would give you some time to overcome your worries before you went out there.

The line seemed to move a warp speed, because before you knew it, Kenny was calling your name.

“Y/N? Are you back there?” He asked, and you could hear everyone start to whisper when you didn’t respond.

“Yeah, gimme one second!” You said, fixing your shirt a bit. You got this. You can do it.

As you stepped out onto the stage Kenny’s face lit up. “There you are! How was the flight?” His eyes were kind, but as you looked into the audience, there were many shook faces.

“It was rough, but I’m happy to be here,” You said, sitting down in the chair in the middle of the stage. You kept taking deep breaths, trying, desperately to calm your nerves.

“I know you have a couple, so whenever you are ready, just say the song's name, and what characters you wrote it for,” Kenny explained. You looked around to see who was there. There was the choreo team, some Netflix executives, the lead cast, and a couple of other people who you didn’t recognize.

“This is lce & Fire, and I pictured Alex and Willie singing it.”

“Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They won’t bring us down

Not a disgrace

We’ve made mistakes

Our love is strong

So sing along

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

Oh the desire

Like Ice & Fire

Shout it out loud

They can’t pull us down

Runnin’ from our past

Met in a crash

Through thick and thin

We can win

I’ve been looking for you for so long

(I couldn’t find you)

Now that I’ve met you I’ve

Done something wrong

Oh, Ohhhh, Oh

The forces pullin’ us together

Can’t stop, won’t stop

Oh hold on a little longer now

We’re Ice & Fire

(Fire)

Two parts of one

(One)

Can’t you see the passion in my eyes

Of Ice & Fire.”

As you finished, the final chord rang out from your guitar. The room was silent until Kenny spoke.

“That was wonderful! Booboo, Owen, what do you all think?” He said, turning to the actors for their opinion.

Booboo nodded to Owen. “Well, I think that your song embodies the characters really well. Uh, I definitely would love to sing it in the show, and I, uh personally can see our characters singing it. You wanna go?”

“Yeah, I agree with Owen on so many levels. I’d love to sing Ice & Fire, if that's okay with you Kenny,” Booboo turned to Kenny and the smile that was on his face was slowly mirrored on yours.

“Let’s do it! You wanna sing any others?” The room held its breath waiting for a response. And so did you.

Your first song had passed the test. Made it through. Your knee started bouncing again and you looked up to Savannah.

You got this. She mouthed.

You cleared your throat and moved the capo on your guitar. “Yeah, uh, this one is called Enemies to Lovers, and I didn’t write this one about any specific characters so it can be changed to fit any of them.”

You started singing and getting into the song. A door creaked open and you looked up, curious, and you continued to sing and play.

It was Charlie. He looked like a mess, like he had just gone to hell and back. Moving among the cast to find his seat, he didn’t notice you singing. Until you started the chorus.

It’s like we’re written in the stars,

Enemies to Lovers

Swinging past the bars,

Baby, we’ll discover-

You, me, we’re not so different,

You, me, we always win it,

You and me, we’re better than we seem,

Enemies

He watched you as you sang, and you, in turn, watched him. As you went into the chorus for a second time, you saw something change in his face. A realization or something, and you turned back to face Kenny as you finished the song.

We are written in the stars,

That's how we became

Well, what we are

Bicker hard and far,

Maybe we’ll discover-

You, me, we are different,

You, me, we can’t beat it,

You and me, we’re worse off than we seemed

You strummed your guitar, leaving the song and the story unfinished.

“That was amazing, unfortunately, I don’t think we have space for it in our show.” He smiled. “Someone will contact you about using Ice & Fire.”

The panel along with the rest of the room, packed up their things and started to leave until just you and the main cast remained. You started to walk out of the room when someone called out.

“Y/N! Wait!”

It was Charlie.

You looked at him, “Yes?”

“What the fuck was that song? Who’d you write it about?” He asked, like a love struck boy.

“I wrote it about you, duh!” You watched his face turn into one of- slight happiness? You laughed and started to walk away. Of course, he would think it’s about him, but why would it be? “Fuck you, Charlie. I didn’t think you were that self-centered!”

“I’m not!”He countered, and you stopped walking to look at him.

“Really? Cause only a self-centered person would ask me that… Or, do you have a crush on me? Aww, that’s so sweet!” You mocked. “See you around, lover boy.”

~

I really hope you liked that chapter! Let me know what you thought!

Join my tag list here, or send me an ask! Send me an ask to be removed.

If your url has a strike through, please message me.

JATP: @n0wornever @calamitykaty @screwunsaidemily @crybabyddl @badwolf00593 @dream-a-little-bigger-x

ETL: @yagorlemmalyn @ifilwtmfc @kaitieskidmore1 @p0gue420 @robbstarkmademedoit @lukepattersonsimp @honeyheartzz @notasoftie @winterwallacehenderson @jatp-musician-spirits @nani-2305 @boggie-brainrot

Charlie: @thesweetestsinner

[jamie-leah]

War of Wolves (22) Finale

Season 1

Episode 22 - Everything Has Changed

Bucky x Reader

Summary: You have been on the streets for the past two years, ever since your accident that left you with the ability to tell if someone is lying. You work as an informant for the white wolf and his mob but you had never met him…until you overhear a phone call that leads you to saving his life. Now he wants you to work for him. Its an offer you couldn’t refuse…right?

Word Count: 1634

Warnings: Cliffhanger, swearing

A/N: Its the end Lovelies, I can't believe the journey its been with these characters! If you don't like cliffhangers I would advise not to read this part and take the previous episode as the last. I want to thank you all for the love and enthusiasm for this series and for loving them as much as me.

<---Previous Episode

WoW Masterlist Series Masterlist Oneshot Masterlist

The weeks of recovery were long but you knew you were in the best hands. Bucky put work on the back foot to look after you despite your protests.

You had been having a hard time sleeping though, ever since waking up and finding Bucky in the hall. Dreams of the past and a future that sometimes scares you.

It got so bad that you went to med bay to talk to the Doc about it, to see if he could give you anything. He was reluctant and I was too. He suggested talking about it, professionally. But no matter who you chose, you didn’t think they would quite understand the type of life you lead. You could never be totally honest with them and that would defeat the point.

You didn’t acknowledge how bad or strange it all was until you woke up with a start. The room was bright, the one you shared with Bucky. He was nowhere to be seen but a note was left on his pillow

“Come to the reception room when you’re awake”.

Which is odd, we only usually use that room for certain Client’s. Either way, you were distracted. You had a dream last night that felt more than a dream and it was starting to become troublesome.

The dream itself was nothing bad, in fact it was happy, lovely. Bucky had thrown you a surprise party, balloons and friends and family celebrating your recovery. It was lovely, one of the best dreams you had had for a long time, but it still left you with a sense that something was off.

You get dressed and make your way to the reception room lost in thought, that’s why when you open the door and hear “SURPIRSE!” you almost scream the place down.

Hand on chest, you take in the sight of balloons, banners and food. Everyone you love a few others were smiling broadly at you, Steve, Sam, Peggy and the kids, Darren even made an appearance. But your eyes were on Bucky and his wolfish grin.

“Did you do this?”, you ask.

Bucky shrugs casually, “maybe”.

Bucky walks across the room to you, holding you close and leans you down in front of everyone to kiss you deeply. Love and passion sweeping across the both of you, the sound of howls, whoops and cheering the only thing keeping you from tearing into each other.

Bucky pulls back with a broad smile before lifting you back up and turning to the crowd, “everyone, as you know we’ve been through a lot over the last year. We’ve lost good people, and parts of ourselves while trying to keep the organisation going and keeping each other safe. But we’ve also found new love, and welcomed another member into our family, Tommy”, Bucky gestures to the sleeping baby in Peggy’s arms.

Everyone cheers at the shout out before Bucky continues, “I wanted to celebrate Y/N’s recovery. I wanted to celebrate the people that made it possible for her to be here today. I also wanted to give everyone a reprieve. Things will only be more difficult for a while. We have Isaac and Harry to track down and we have other enemies to prove we’re still the strongest enterprise out there. They will be coming for us, but I wanted to take this moment to say we’ll be ready. I also wanted to take this moment to thank you all, for standing by me through it all.”

Bucky looks down at you with something fierce in his eyes, a love and devotion that you’ve never seen in another human being before, “to us!”, he shouts as he raises a glass to the room.

You wake up with a start, panting from feeling yourself trying to wake up. The dream was so vivid, it felt real…

You look to the pillow next to you and you see the note from your dream, the exact placing, the exact wording from Bucky.

You don’t even bother changing out of your pyjamas as you rush from the room. You make your way to the reception room as fast as possible, almost bashing into people trying to get to your one goal.

You mumble apologies until you make it to the doors of the reception room holding your breath. You hesitate with your hands on the knobs, you didn’t want this to be true, but hiding from it wouldn’t make it not true either.

You swallow despite your dry mouth and swing the doors open to “SURPRISE!”…

All through the party you convince yourself that it’s a coincidence. You don’t tell anyone, not even Bucky what you’re thinking but its all you can focus on until Peggy catches you on your own.

“Is everything okay?”, she asks, concern etched into her friendly face.

You nod, “yes”, and distract her by fussing with Tommy for a while.

By the end of the day, as night creeps in you feel exhausted by going through all the possibilities in your head.

Bucky takes you away into a private corner with another grin on his face just like he did with the surprise and for a moment you forget your troubles as you smirk back, “what is it Buck?”, you ask.

He grins wider, “I have another surprise for you.”

You shake your head with a small smile, “I don’t think I can handle any more surprises right now Bucky.”

He strokes your cheek for a few moments before saying, “I came close to losing you and having you here, happy and healthy is something I wanted to celebrate with everyone but I also wanted to celebrate with just us…so I booked us a night away in a hotel underwater.”

Your grin splits into a dazzling smile as you jump on Bucky murmuring your gratitude and love.

You arrived at the underwater hotel the next day. Checking in with Lisa at the counter as Bucky finishes checking in he asks her, “the extras I asked for…?”.

Lisa didn’t look up from the computer in front of her as she answers, “they should be in your room.”

We make our way to the room, our overnight bags in hand. Bucky steps into the room first looking around at everything.

But you barely pay any attention as you look out into the water and all the fish, your fingers are touching the glass when Bucky comes out of the bathroom, “none of the extras are in here”, he says with annoyance lacing his tone.

He starts towards the door before turning back to you, “did you detect the lie at all?”.

You shrug, “she probably believed it, so go easy on her Buck”.

You hear the door close behind you and you pray for a normal night of sleep or perhaps you could convince Bucky not to sleep at all. You stand there thinking about all the ways you and Bucky could ruin the room when you finally hear the door open.

You turn as you say, “hey Buck, I was thinking-“

Bucky is looking at you with shock and confusion on his face and that horrible feeling you had the night of the crash comes back in the pit of your stomach.

He doesn’t say anything for the longest time as he stares at you. Finally, you couldn’t stand anymore silence as you say, “what?! What is it Bucky? What’s happened?!”.

He clears his throat, “she knew the stuff wasn’t in the room.”

You pause before laughing at his statement, “Jesus Buck, I thought something was seriously wrong, like danger level wrong. You need to stop giving me heart attacks.”

But Bucky never starts laughing and so the smile slowly fades from your face as you say, “okay…so what if the extras aren’t in the room, we can ask for them or you can get a partial refund.”

He shakes his head as he finally steps in the room and closes the door behind him, “you’re missing the point Doll, she lied.”

You scrunch your face up, “yeah Buck, people lie-“

You stop the sentence dead in its tracks as you look at Bucky in alarm, finally realising what he’s getting at.

You have no words. Bucky is the one to fill the silence, “I’ve noticed it a few times over the last few days. The fact that you haven’t clocked some lies and have become more shocked at some of the things that happen around our home. I thought it was just because so much was going on. Your recovery, us never getting moments alone these days, but you never picked up the lie today, you even said so yourself.”

You shake your head, “wait a minute, we’re jumping to conclusions here, this is a new place and I wasn’t paying attention-“

Bucky interrupts you, “my favourite flavour of ice cream is mint, I’m wearing boxers under my pants, my mothers name was Sarah.”

He says all the lies he told you when you first met in quick succession and you never detect a single one as a lie even though you know they are.

Your stomach lurches and you feel your hands shake by your sides, you look up at Bucky as tears well in your eyes, “I’ve lost it Buck, I’ve lost my ability to detect lies.”

You sink to your knees before Bucky can reach you. He joins you on the floor as he wraps you in his arms trying to protect you from the truth that has become a truth in a long line of truths in a never ending nightmare.

You try to will this not to be true as you question your worth not only as a member of Bucky’s organisation but also as his partner and your ability to keep him safe. And you know, everything has changed.

WoW Taglist: @a-really-bi-girl @crazyblonde124 @summerwelsh @scuzmunkie @loving-life-my-way @pequenaguaxinim @paranoid-borderline-insane @lilsonbucky @somanyfandomsblog @broco8 @inquisitor-selvala @mad-red @k-n-e @rinkashirikitateku @duhh-danielly @boundtomyfate @kalesrebellion @booktease21 @whatinthyworld @flyingbabyunicornnamedangel @asapkyndall @yaszx @amoredashley @aveatquevale- @putinovertime @melimelbean @valsworldofcreativity @lokilokilokilokilokilokilo-blog1 @vesper852 @littlenerdgirl16 @wiccanmetallicrose @aya-fay

I have an entire plan for Season 2 and written some too. If you want to see more of this please let me know. The more people wanting more the more likely it will happen. Taglist for all things Season 2 are OPEN <3

[wlw-lovestruck-fiction]

Can we get a fluf fic where Mc tries to keep up with goofy/funny/silly/playful/sleepy/naughty Vivienne? Please I miss my babe😢

Pairing with: PLEASE ANY VIVIENNE X ZOE X MC FLUFFY WOULD BE APPRECIATED 🥺

PLEASE may I request ANY Vivienne x Zoe x MC fluff? Pretty please?…

...

In hindsight, you should have seen it coming. You didn’t even stop to think about where Vivienne had gone off to, used to her random disappearances in the morning and far too distracted with the newest episode of a show Zoe and you liked to wonder about it for long.

Almost buzzing with excitement, you enter Zoe’s room, dropping in the moving chair she has by her side and eagerly watching the screen.

“How much is left?”

“Half an hour, but I think we’ll manage.”

With nothing else to do but wait, you quickly dissolve into excited theorizing, while Zoe just sits there and listens, adding the occasional ‘uh-huh’ here and there. You both had worked out what the twist might be the other week, so you limit yourself to wondering about the characters themselves. That eventually turns into a discussion of ships.

Zoe isn’t much of a shipper, you’ve noticed. She keeps to the margin and analyses everything objectively, acknowledging character interactions but never focusing on them. You were the complete opposite, and a crack shipper to boot, which often clashes against Zoe’s logical side and sparks some amazing debates.

You’re in the middle of one right then when Remy interrupts, knuckles lightly tapping against the door’s side as he peers in, face blank as he looks at the two of you on your respective chairs, cocooned by a blanket, popcorn sitting on your laps. “I’ll never understand what you like so much about that show.”

“Excuse you,” Zoe huffs, angrily grabbing her soda and giving him a sour look. “It’s an amazing show.”

“Amazing!” You echo, as you have done many times before. “I am appalled you don’t see its genius, Remy! Appalled!”

“Right, sure. I remember you both were hysterical over the last cliffhanger. Did you figure out who the murderer is already?”

“Oh yeah,” you wave your hand around, as if dismissing the subject. “Last week. What we are discussing right now is why the prosecutor and the assistant are such a good pairing–” Zoe turns to look at you as if you had just proclaimed the sky was purple, and she looks so baffled you dissolve into a fit of giggles right then and there.

Remy smiles, shaking his head fondly, and stepping out without another word.

“Leaving that atrocious pairing aside…”

Zoe nudges the discussion into another direction and you allow it, satisfied with the reaction you got from her earlier. You’re both stealing anxious glances at the screen, excited to see that only a few minutes are left.

“This is it,” Zoe mutters softly. “The end of this case. The next one is going to be so weird.”

“We’ll probably find out what happen to the firefighter, right? Honestly, it just looks like they got abducted by aliens–”

“MC!” Rings a voice. Zoe scowls immediately, as if that was her standard reaction to Vivienne – or yet another interruption. Probably both.

“Hey babe, where were you?”

Vivienne’s smirk softens at the petname, quietly pleased. “Oh, you know, getting some things ready…”

“Huh? What, for the heist?”

“Something infinitely better.”

“What could be better than the heist?”

Her eyes gleam, dark pools of chocolate drawing you in like a sailor entranced by a siren’s call. “Why don’t you come with me and find out?”

Zoe groans.

“Can you stop being horny for–” her gaze drops quickly to the clock, “–24 minutes? It won’t kill you, will it?”

“You are always invited to join us, darling.”

“Pass.”

“Your loss,” Vivienne says, with a small shrug. “Then, MC–”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, sure babe, just gimme 24 minutes.”

“Twen– what?” Her eyes follow yours, locking onto the screen. “…Ah. Today is Monday. I forgot.”

“Prepared a whole ‘romantic’ outing for no reason, did you?” Zoe grins. “Sucks to be you.”

A light frown appears over Vivienne’s face. “It’s… only half an hour. I can manage that much.” She finally says, body turning slightly, as if she were on an internal war over leaving and staying.

“Great. You’re making progress, Tang.”

Vivienne rolls her eyes, most of her good mood visibly diminishing. She hesitates a second longer before turning in your direction, pursing her lips. “So– a show. I’m getting cockblocked because of a show.”

“A great show,” both Zoe and you say, nodding solemnly.

“But you already know how it’s going to end. Who the murderer is. MC, you told me that last week!”

“I mean, it’s only a theory Zoe and I have. We still need to see if it gets confirmed.”

“It surely will.” Zoe says, smugly. “The signs are all there. He won’t get away with it. The scarf will be his undoing, no doubt.”

“Wait, you’re still with that? It’s the statue! It’s too fishy! If they check it and–”

“MC, you can’t be serious–” Vivienne tries to interject, but Zoe quickly cuts her off with her own rebuttal to your argument, and the seductress gets this strange look on her face, gaze flicking between the screen, Zoe, and you, stunned for all of two seconds before she shakes her head, schooling her expression.

You distractedly wonder if she’ll leave, your attention quickly taken by the beginning of the opening notes of the show. You enter than zone where nothing else matters, nothing else exists but the screen and you are positively buzzing, mind racing with all the things that could possibly happen until a red blur passes in front of you, something heavy landing so unexpectedly on your lap it takes your breath away.

“Wha–”

“Ow! Hey! Vivienne?!”

It takes you a moment to understand what happened, snapping out of the concentrated state you were a few seconds ago. Vivienne has perched herself on top of your lap, curled there like a smug cat, her arms loosely wrapped around your neck and her gaze is so intense it sets your whole soul alight, consuming every thought you had previously.

You have the same reaction any person would have in this situation, which is, to have a full gay panic.

She– she feels so warm and she’s so close and oh god those eyes–

“Vivienne, what the hell!”

One glance to the right reveals what has Zoe so pissed: Vivienne has her legs high up in her direction, blocking her view of the screen. You don’t even know why she’s so mad, it’s a very nice view–

“The show just began! Are you really that salty?!”

Show? What sh– Ah. That show. Right.

You try to maneuver around Vivienne’s head to look at the computer, but one of Vivienne’s hands instantly grabs your chin, forcing you to look at her with a gentle but firm gesture. Barely, you catch her move her legs to block Zoe too.

“Eyes on me, partner.” She all but purrs, commanding, and your brain short-circuits when she presses herself against you.

“Really? Really?!”

Vivienne gives Zoe her best smoldering smirk. “Oh, I know that look. It’s okay, dear, you can go first… maybe bend me over the table–”

“I’m going to throw you out of the window–”

“Is that your kink, Zoe? Press me against the window, giving everyone full view of–”

“Oh my god–!”

Taking advantage of the situation, you try to peek at the screen again. Vivienne’s grip tightens, making you whimper slightly, her blazing brown eyes meeting yours again.

“Ah ah ah, what did I say? Do not disobey me.”

“Viv…”

“Keep looking at me, sweetheart. If I catch more wandering eyes, you’re going to regret it.”

“Ah… but I…”

Her eyes flash, her thumb tracing the lines of your lips roughly, effectively shutting you up. Vivienne looks pleased, all dark passion, grip softening. She starts tracing a line down to your throat, leaving a trail of tickling heat after the touch.

“Suffering from success, aren’t you, MC?” Zoe dryly states, maneuvering around Vivienne’s outstretched legs with a scowl that could give Nikolai’s a run for his money. She reaches for the back of the moving chair you had borrowed, beginning to push you. Vivienne makes a chocked sound of surprise low in her throat, tightening her hold over your neck. “That’s it. All I want is to watch my show in peace, no interruptions-”

“Um, our show-”

“-and no Vivienne being Vivienne for the next 20 minutes.”

“What am I supposed to be then?”

“Be a doormat for all I care, just do it outside my room!” She punctuates her statement with one final, fully determined push, sending you skidding towards the hallway. Vivienne thrusts her legs to the right, managing to use her weight just so to spin the chair in time. The back collides against the wall with a dull thump, and you barely see Zoe’s deadpan expression before she closes her door. “You better return my chair later!” Is all she says, presumably heading back to her computer.

“…aw, I wanted to see this episode.” You finally mumble, shoulders dropping dejectedly.

Vivienne blinks owlishly at you. “Isn’t the episode going to be available later?”

“Well, yeah, but I’m curious to see how the arrest will go. I don’t think I can wait another day.”

“Arrest. Such an ugly word, when you are a thief.” Vivienne hums, pressing into you just slightly, eyes alight with mirth. “You are quite taken with it regardless… Is it the thrill?”

“Uh…”

“You know, partner, if you want to be in cuffs so much, all you have to do is ask.”

Color spreads over your cheeks like spilled wine, sweet, impossible to hold back. Vivienne leans forward, eager for a taste, that smirk of hers firmly in place and you briefly wonder if you’ll just burst, too filled with surprise and frustration and a little bit of heat.

“Think only about me, MC.” Vivienne mutters, breath ghosting over the skin of your ear, coaxing a shy shiver out of you. The vibrations of her voice send ripples of emotion through you, make you groan slightly. Smirk widening, not caring one bit that you are still on the hallway, one of her hands drops down, down-

“20 minutes! Just 20 minutes!” A flash of gray. Vivienne’s startled squeak. Her grip loosens and she goes tumbling down your lap, the floor receiving her with its cold embrace. Zoe’s door slams shut – again – and your gaze drops, discovering the slipper resting by Vivienne’s hand with an amused snort.

“She got you good, huh?”

“She – just took me by surprise, is all.” Vivienne says, after a pause. You giggle, pushing yourself to your feet and offering her your hand, which she takes gratefully. She doesn’t let go, instead pulling you in the direction of the apartment’s exit, and you throw a longing look in the direction of Zoe’s room before accepting your fate.

You’ll have to watch that episode tomorrow, it seems.

[sorrelchestnut]

EVERYBODY’S PICKIN’ UP ON THAT FELINE BEAT, PART 37

holy shit I finished a scene.  We’re really close to the end now, y’all.  That being said: this definitely ends on a cliffhanger.  Fair warning.

Part 1.  Part 2.  Part 3.  Part 4.  Part 5.  Part 6.  Part 7.  Part 8.  Part 9.  Part 10.  Part 11. Part 12.  Part 13.  Part 14.  Part 15.  Part 16.  Part 17.  Part 18.  Part 19. Part 20.  Part 21.  Part 22. Part 23. Part 24. Part 25. Part 26.  Part 27. Part 28. Part 29. Part 30. Part 31. Part 32. Part 33.  Part 34. Part 35. Part 36.

Title: everybody’s picking up on that feline beat Author: Sorrel Fandom: Fallout 4 Rating: Mature Warnings: None Relationships: Deacon/Female Sole Survivor Series: Part 3 of everybody wants to be a cat

Coffee helps; fresh air and sunshine helps more.  For someone who spends a significant majority of her life inside, underground, nocturnal, and/or just generally skulking around in the shadows, Whisper can be surprisingly solar-powered at times.  By the time they're over the river she's in almost obnoxiously high spirits, singing "Anything Goes" in a squeaky falsetto that makes him think longingly of the roll of duct tape in his pack.

"The world has gone mad today, and good's bad today, and black's white today, and day's night today-"

"Whisper, I swear to God-"

"And that gent today you gave a cent today once had sev-er-al chateaus!"

"Alright, Cole Porter, that's enough."  She grins wider and opens her mouth, and he hastily slaps a hand over it before she can start the next verse.  "No."

Her lips tickle against his palm as she grumbles, "You're no fun."

"What, because I like living?  You're going to bring down every raider in the greater Boston area, the way you're caterwaul- ow!  Fuck!"

She tucks her thumbs in the straps of her pack and gives him a cheerful, empty-headed smile, showing off the pearly white teeth she just sunk into the base of his thumb.  "Talk shit, get hit."

"Jesus, you're aggressive."  He studies his hand but doesn't find any sign of bleeding, just a neat row of stark white tooth marks rapidly flushing back pink.  "Whatever happened to licking my hand to gross me out?"

"Sometimes I can really tell you were an only child," she informs him, shaking her head faux-mournfully.  "You gotta go big or go home, that's my motto."

"Good thing we're going home, isn't it?"  When she squints at him, he smiles sunnily and holds his injured hand a couple inches above her head.  "I mean, 'big' isn't exactly your strong suit, so..."

She launches herself at him with a war cry.

Bickering aside, they straighten up when they come into sight of Diamond City, falling into character as a pair of road-weary mercenaries coming off an all-night hike and desperate for a shower and some sleep.  (Which, to be fair, isn't that far off from the truth, all things considered.)  They're both in costume already, not that that took long.  All Whisper had to do was slick back her hair and throw on a pair of sunglasses and hey presto: Olivia Bailey, ruins-rover extraordinaire.  Next to her all Deacon has to do is look suitably grizzled and road-weary, so he pretty much just tossed the least-disgusting raider's jacket on over his travel clothes and smeared some dust artistically through his stubble and called it a goddamn day.

It certainly works well enough on the second-shift gate guard, a pockmarked woman with nicotine stains on her fingers.  She waves them through with a disinterested nod, already going back to her book before they even clear the gate.  Deacon squashes down the contrary impulse to make some kind of scene and just nods back, professional and cool, as he wraps an arm around Whisper's shoulder.  She gives him a little sideways look that says I know what you're doing but doesn't bother to pull away until they're in the tunnel.

Deacon looks around and then back to her, pointedly.  Whisper huffs a laugh.

"What now?"

"Nothing," he says, and waggles his eyebrows.  "It's just… here we are again.  Where it all started.  Back to the site of our fateful first meeting."

Her eyes narrow.  "Weren't you the one who said-"

"Mm, yeah, but I've had time to think about it, and I think you made a compelling point.  First contact is definitely the first one that counts."

"You just don't want to 'fess up on just how long you were following me around."

"Why, partner, I'm hurt that you would think of such a thing," he says, and moves swiftly on before she can call him on the obvious evasion.  "You know, you keep bringing me back here, I'm going to start thinking you've got a secret romantic streak."  She gives him a look.  "Very secret."

"That's me, all hearts and flowers," says quite the most ruthlessly practical woman Deacon's ever met.  "Besides, if I was going to start up with romantical remembrances at this late date, that wouldn't be the one I'd pick.  I was so sleep-deprived I'm lucky I remembered my own name."

"Couldn't tell to look at you," Deacon says, in massive understatement.  She was all easy swagger and magazine-cover grin, on her way to bigger and better things.  She sure as shit didn't look like she was running on the ragged edge of her endurance - but then, he knows better than most just how well she can lie with a smile.

She glances over at him as they break out of the tunnel, her gaze shrewd over the rim of her shades.  "You remember it pretty well, huh?"

Nope, nuh-uh, not going there.  "Your hair was longer," Deacon says, tweaking the end of one of her curls in a transparent bid for distraction.  "I remember that for sure."

"Well, yeah," she says, ducking neatly around a kid that seems really intent on wherever she's running.  "You told me to cut it."

"I did?"  He definitely doesn't remember that.  "When?"

"When we were prepping for the Covenant op.  You said blonde, I said I had to grab some bleach, and you gave me that 'oh honey' look you do when people are being particularly stupid and told me to just cut it off, you had a spare wig lying around someplace."

That does sound like him.  "And you just did it?" he says, because Whisper is a lot of things, but 'obedient' sure as shit isn't one of them.

"You were brandishing a knife when you said it," she admits.  "It seemed easier to give in than argue."

Yeah, that definitely sounds like him.  Especially then: that must've been, what, their first week together?  Back then everything was one long haze of exhaustion, staggering from one crisis to the next with barely enough time to take a shit.  Hauling her into the Covenant op was a desperation play, pure and simple: he needed backup, and anyone had to be better than Glory.  He hadn't known, then, what she could do with nothing more than a smile and a little room to work.

Though he figured it out pretty damn quick.

"I'd say it worked out," he says, and tweaks her dark hair again.  "You do make a fetching blonde."

She gives him a look over the tops of her shades, knowing and a bit amused.  "They do have more fun."

Aaaand now he's thinking about their first time, that silver dress pushed up around her thighs, blonde wig spilling across the mattress above her and blue eyes begging him in the dark.  He clears his throat.  "You want to go talk to Valentine?"

"In a bit," she says, and wraps her arm around his waist.  He automatically puts his arm around her in turn, and she leans her head on his shoulder, a picture-perfect image of a lovesick spouse.  "Need to make the rounds, hit up a few of the merchants first.  It'd be weird if I didn't."

"God forbid we look weird," he agrees, and laughs at her elbow in his stomach.

~*~

She does break off eventually, slips away to discuss things with Valentine and leaves him with a key and strict instructions to take care of dinner.  Deacon makes a quick loop of his own, touching base with the runners they placed last time and offloading some of their scav while he's at it.  Myrna's girl has been promoted to working the afternoon shift solo, and is more than happy to take a few extra minutes dickering in order to fill him in on the local gossip.  He rounds it off with a visit to the Dugout where the cocky one is still serving drinks - Deacon makes a note to collect the ten caps from Whisper later - and picks up some dinner to go on his way out.  Never let it be said he can't follow orders when it suits him.

He's setting out the plates when Whisper follows him in just a few minutes later with a slammed door and a cheerful, "Hallo the house!" from the far end of her little warehouse.

"Kitchen!" he calls back, and a moment later she appears, weaving her way through the stacked boxes and dropping a noticeably emptier pack on the floor by the stove.

"Need a hand?"

The food's pretty much done, so he tilts his head to the table with a hopeful, "Something to drink?"

"I've got just the thing," and she grabs her pack again, fishing around inside until she comes up with a couple bottles of Bobrov's homebrew.  "I tried to catch you at the Dugout but Vadim said you just left.  Good enough?"

"We-ell, everyone knows a dry white pairs best with seafood, but for day-old mirelurk I suppose it will just have to do."

"You're trying to ruin my appetite but it's not working," she informs him, nose in the air.  "I'm so hungry I'd eat a mirelurk raw."

He laughs and nudges in behind her as she turns to grab a bottle opener.  "C'mon, darlin', don't be like that.  You know it's only the best for my girl."

"Flatterer," she says, nothing in her voice now but laughter.  "You talk any sweeter, I'm gonna be forced to check those lips for honey."

"Aw, babe.  You say the - ha ha - sweetest things."  He buries his nose in the back of her neck and inhales.  "I get the cigarettes, but why do you smell like one of Tom's experiments?  Hot metal and burnt wiring," he clarifies, when she gives him a truly weird look.

"Oh, I stopped by Piper's after I talked to Nick," she says, all offhand as if she's not talking about the biggest gossip in the Commonwealth.

Deacon unpeels himself from her back and takes her by the shoulders.  "Whisper," he says, seriously.  "Do we need to have a conversation about operational security?  Because I feel like you may have been out that day."

"Oh, so you want her to come by and harangue me in person?  Because that is one hundred percent what she'd do if she heard I was in town and didn't go see her first."

Okay, so maybe she has a point.  The thought of Piper fucking Wright showing up at his door - well, Whisper's door, whatever - demanding to know his intentions toward her friend… Yeah, no.  That's gonna be a haaaard pass.

Whisper grins at him, the devil in her eyes.  He knows that look.  "Whisper-"

"Ohhhh, I see what this is about."

"Fear," he assures her, trying to head whatever this is off at the pass, "this is a very healthy and reasonable level of fear," but she's on her way to a punchline and won't be deterred.

"You're a fan!" she declares, over his groan of protest.  "Aww, sweetheart, why didn't you say something earlier?  I could totally arrange an introduction for you."

"Ahhh, no thanks," Deacon manages, through the bolt of terror that thought inspires.  "Little-known fact, spies are in fact allergic to reporters?  Like, clinically.  The hives are brutal."

She takes pity on him and gives way with a laugh, her eyes crinkling up at the corners.  "Don't worry, babe, I'll protect you."

"You're the best."

"And don't you forget it."  She pops open one of the bottles one-handed, handing it off to him with a cheery flourish.  "Besides, you don't wanna bitch too much about my girl Piper.  Her caps bought you this booze."

"I take it back, she's my new favorite person.  After your radiant self, of course."  He takes a swig and passes it back, enjoying the flush of boozy heat down through his chest as he turns back to the stove.  After a moment's consideration, he adds a couple extra tatos to the pan.  If they're drinking Bobrov's then he definitely wants to lay down a hearty base.  "Something interesting afoot?"

"Mhm?"

"Your payout from Wright.  Anything I should know about?"

She wobbles her flat hand side-to-side, a wordless eh.  "Not really.  Just a side project I've been working on."

Interesting.  It's not as if they tell each other everything they get up to - he certainly has any number of moving parts at any given moment she's not read in on, and this business with Hancock gave him a good idea about how much he doesn't know about her adventures - but the fun stuff, yeah, that's usually share and share alike.  Then again, maybe it's a leftover from her little enforced vacation back in August.  He's mostly kept his nose out of whatever she was up to those weeks in hopes she'll do him the same courtesy, so there's a gap in his intel.

"Very mysterious," he teases, nudging a little.  "C'mon, not even a hint for your faithful partner?"

She refuses to be nudged, only smiles faintly and hunches one shoulder into a lopsided shrug.  "You can read it in the paper tomorrow like everyone else."

"Way harsh."

"That's me, cruel and unusual."  She passes him back a plate with an absent kiss to his scruffy cheek.  "C'mon, quit fondling that pot holder and get me some supper.  I'm starving."

~*~

It's a good night, maybe the best he's had in a while.  Deacon sort of figured she'd be distracted, mind on her mission tomorrow, but instead it's the opposite: for the first time in what seems like weeks, he has her full and undivided attention, and he basks in it like winter sunshine.  They trade stories and quips, mostly things they've told each other a dozen times over but still fresh, still funny, still so much fun to watch her trying out a new spin, a new angle.  She's so fucking good at that, always has been.  Yet another thing Deacon never needed to teach her, but damn does he never get tired of watching her reinvent herself on the fly.

Deacon, for his part, finds himself mugging shamelessly for her attention, chasing her approval as fervently as any junkie he's ever pretended to be.  And unlike a junkie Deacon gets what he's craving in spades, because she's as generous with her smiles as she is with her stories, lounging back in her chair with her glass in her hand, thighs sprawled wide and her voice gone syrup-slow with that insinuating smirk that only ever spurs him on.

Later, he doesn't entirely remember how they end up in bed.  The booze turns everything smeary and soft-focus, like light coming in through a stained-glass window, and his memory preserves only a series of snapshots: pulling Whisper into his lap, her startled yelp of laughter muffled with his mouth.  Making out on the landing, one foot braced a step down to put him closer to her height, his fingers busy on her shirt buttons and hers on his belt buckle.  Tumbling into bed in a snarl of limbs, laughingly disentangling them until Whisper tugs him up over her in the dark.  Burying his face in the sweat-slicked curve of her neck as he works his cock inside of her, her blunt nails scoring lines down the length of his back and her heels digging into the backs of his thighs to urge him on.  The flicker of the candlelight playing across her lush mouth and her dark, shadowed eyes, her damp hair clinging to her forehead as she tosses her head back against the pillows.  The low breathy rasp of her voice, "Deacon," murmured against his ear, "Deacon, Deacon, please-"

And then when he wakes up, he's alone.

The radio downstairs is playing “The Wanderer,” and Deacon lies there for a moment, listening to the clatter of the rain against the windows, experiencing an overwhelming surge of deja vu.

Then he hauls himself out of bed, picks up his boots, and goes in search of his wayward accomplice.

Unlike last time, there's no pint-sized partner clattering around in the kitchen, cooking breakfast and dancing around like temptation on two legs.  The room is cool and dim, only the faint mid-morning sunshine straggling in through an upper window to light the way, and the only sign of habitation is the soft strains of the radio.  Deacon does a quick check in the warehouse section just in case - have the boxes been breeding back there? - but the only sign of life in here is him.  Most damningly of all, Whisper's pack is gone from the hook beside the door, leaving his looking lopsided next to the empty space where its partner used to be.

Do not project onto an inanimate object, Deacon my lad, he tells himself, and checks the counter next to the radio, where he previously saw a pad and a pencil half-buried under a precarious stack of ammo boxes.  Sure enough, there's a note there, torn loose from the pad and folded into thirds with John scrawled across the front in unfamiliar handwriting that must belong to Liv.

She's just keeping cover, not stupid enough to write anything else out here in the open where anyone could walk in and see it, but Deacon still stares at it for a long moment, that single syllable knocking around somewhere at the bottom of his ribs.  Then he shakes his head at himself, reaches out, and unfolds the note.

hey handsome, you looked so peaceful i couldn't bring myself to wake you.  at least one of us should get to sleep in, and nick had me up with the sun.  (you know what he's like when he's on a case!)  shouldn't take long though, just a quick run down to goodneighbor and fingers crossed we'll be back by supper.  take care of my best guy while i'm gone.  xoxo, liv

The radio changes to “One More Tomorrow,” and Deacon glares at it as he folds up the note.  Reading between the breezy, heavily fictionalized lines, it's clear enough she decided to handle this Kellogg business solo.  Which is… fair enough, he supposes, but something about it doesn't sit square.  Did she think he would have told her no, if she asked him to stay put?  He thought he made it pretty clear the whole thing was hers to handle or not as she saw fit.  Or maybe she just thought it'd be too awkward, having him up in her business like that?  Maybe after their last op, she's about had her fill of personal.  He couldn't blame her if that's the case, but he hopes she knows the last thing he'd ever want to do is make things harder for her.

Well, there's not much he can do about it either way, not with her at least a few hours ahead of him, judging by the sun, and definitely not with her clear instruction to sit tight.  Waiting isn't much his favorite part and he didn't really plan to be hanging out in Diamond City all day, but Deacon's an adaptable fellow; he'll find a way to keep himself occupied.

The market is bustling at this hour of the morning, and Deacon lets the crowd carry him along, thinking vaguely about picking up some noodles for breakfast and then maybe having a wander around.  It's not great for his cover to spend so much time out and about on his own, but with the right sidelong look most people will probably assume she's sleeping off a wild night, which would be great for his ego, at least.  Besides, there's really no substitute for market gossip when it comes to keeping a pulse on the goings-on in the Commonwealth, which is what he plans to tell Dez if she gives him shit for the wasted day.  Not that she will, because if Deacon has his way she'll never hear about any of this, but he likes having a contingency plan in place.  Makes him feel all nice and comfy.

It's when he's looping around the counter in search of an open stool that he catches the familiar sound of Piper Junior hawking her wares at full volume.  Which is funny, 'cause by his calculation they're not due for another issue for at least a week.  Normally Piper's pretty regular with the print, except-

Deacon gets a sinking sensation in his chest.

-except when she has something too juicy to wait and damn it, Whisper, what the hell are you up to?

Normally the last place he wants to be is anywhere near someone named Wright, but since his partner has been up to shenanigans without bothering to inform him first, he figures that in this case 'better safe than sorry' means getting out ahead of whatever nonsense Whisper's been cooking up rather than running the other way.  He makes sure to pull his cap low over his eyes, hitches his pack higher on his shoulders, and sidles over towards the Public Occurrences like he just doesn't have anything better to do.

"Extra, extra, read all about it!  Minutemen General has the tell-all of the century!"

Oh, it's Minutemen business.  Geez, why didn't she just say so?  If she's running some propaganda job for Garvey, the last thing he'd want to do is get in her way.  It was obvious they needed something after the trip to the Slog the other week, and throwing Piper at the problem is probably the most efficient way to get the word out.  Half the damn Commonwealth reads her paper at some point or another, even if it's just so they can tell themselves how wrong she is.

Still, Whisper did tell him he'd find out today, so she probably expects him to read up on whatever it is.  He snatches a paper off the top of the stack and flips it over, scanning for the headline.

Woman out of Time: Savior of the Minutemen Tells All About Life Before the Bomb!

"-not the current General," Little Wright's saying, when Deacon manages to stop staring at the paper and drag his attention back to the real world.  "The first one, the one that retook the Cast- hey!"

Deacon finds the paper snatched right from his hands, a pint-sized version of a familiar glare beaming up at him.  "You gotta pay before you read," Little Wright informs him.  "We're not running a charity here!"

"Uh, right," says Deacon, who still feels like he's hearing everything underwater, slow-motion and echoing strangely.  "What's the deal with this General, then?"

"Didn'tcha see the headline?  She's from before the War!  Vault froze her in cryo, right here in the Commonwealth!"

Vault 111.  Oh, fuck.   Ohhhh fuck.

"So you gonna buy or just stand there and stare?"  Little Wright brandished the paper at him.  "Hot off the presses!  Only ten caps, and you can be the first to know!"

[taliaquinn]

Why Me!? Chapter 16

A/N: Hey peeps, I hope you guys enjoy today's update. I hope you guys like the fact that I uploaded so soon. Also I have a lot of oneshot ideas however the tricky part is actually WRITING. Who knew am I right? 

“Kaalki quick open a portal to that old alley, It’s better to transform there, Tikki you can finish Game of Thrones later” Marinette ordered a previously napping Kaalki, while pulling out a miffed Tikki from her mini-room in the closet. Tikki was almost done with the first season of Game Of Throne. The only reason it was taking so long was mostly that she had to watch it whenever Marinette wasn’t around due to uh reasons.

“Priorities much?” Marinette teased, quickly making a fake sleeping Marinette on her bed in case someone checked on her.

She quickly leaped through the portal, after appearing in some Paris alley she quickly ducked behind the dumpster and transformed into Ladybug, and made her way to the Attack.

To no one's surprise she was facing off with Lady Wifi again. Except for this time she was busy tracking down her ex-boyfriend Nino who had broken up with her over text. Ouch. Good for him regardless. The darker part of Marinette was pleased. He came to his senses. Finally. 

Unfortunately for her Lady Wifi was pissed, which made taking her down harder. She had to leave to recharge, Chat showed up during the last few moments but still proved himself useless by getting frozen by Lady-wifi somehow. Luckily Ladybug was sadly used to this and left him frozen. 

Quickly ducking to the side she delivered a blow to Alyas' side. Throwing her yo-yo she managed to tangle Lady Wifis legs, causing her to drop her phone. Ladybug quickly scooped it up to destroy. Seriously, what was it with this girl and her obsession with phones? 

Purifying the Akuma, she used the Miraculous Ladybug to instantly repair all the damage. Releasing a heavy sigh she turned to face her ex-best friend. To her disgust she was facing a pouting Alya and a smiling Chat. 

The instant that Alya saw Ladybug she immediately stood up and ran towards her, 

“Oh my gosh Ladybug thank you for saving me, I don't know what Nino was thinking breaking up with me like that, he KNOWS how mad I get” she said huffing out a laugh. 

Oh. my. god. She was trying to make it seem like Nino was at fault! Marinette was furious. She was acting just like Chat!!! Marinette is going to need so much therapy after all of this is done.

“Alya, you need to apologize to Nino,” she finally told her. “and afterward leave him alone, you have to respect his decision and space.” She added. They might not be friends anymore but that didn’t mean that Marinette didn't care about Nino. 

“L-L-Ladybug, you don’t get it, he broke up with me for no good reas-”

“It was a good enough reason that he felt the need to do it through a text” gesturing towards Nino's home she added “and as it turns out he was right to do so”

Alya huffed, “You just don't understand Ladybug”. She moved away from her and took out her phone to begin live streaming. 

She made her way towards Chat noir who was standing on the side watching the whole exchange a bit nervous. “Chat Noir, Are you aware of a certain girl named Marinette who got caught on camera criticizing you, when she had no right to mind you, about your most recent actions?. Do you have anything to say in response to it?” She asked pointing her phone camera in his direction. 

Chat Noir immediately leaped at the chance to defend himself.

“W-well like you said she had no right, what could she know about the struggles of being a superhero, heck I even had to save her a couple of times and that’s how she thanks me?’ He mentioned facing Alyas' camera. “Honestly I think she’s just jealous and mine and m’lady's partnership, but what can you do am I right?” he teased.

“What partnership chat?” Ladybug cut in. No way was she letting rumors spread when she was standing right there. 

“M'lady's just jealous as well,” Chat said with a wink

“Oh for Pete's sake” Ladybug pulled Chat away from Alyas prying eyes (and cellphone) and yo-yo away without a goodbye to the blogger.

A few rooftops away she finally plopped down and released Chat none too gracefully. The look on Chat noirs face wasn’t the charming one he was displaying for Alya and her Camera, he had the nerve to look annoyed.

“What was that?” He spit out

“What was what hmmm?” Oh she was annoyed now too.

“Al-that Cesaire girl has been your biggest supporter since Day One. You just don’t know what's going on with that Cesaire girl”

“I do, her boyfriend broke up with her because he was involved in an extremely toxic relationship” She stated, “I have to make sure she understands that, she’s trying to shift the blame!!!” 

“And what was that about our partnership, you sounded like you agreed with that Dupain-Cheng girl” He complained annoyed “That's cause I do”

“WHAT!?”

“You said it yourself Marinette could never understand the pressure cause she’s not a superhero, I on the other hand AM,” Not to mention they were one and the same but he didn't have to know that, “frankly you’ve been lacking in the superhero department if I can show up for every Akuma battle why can't you?” 

“Because I have a life unlike you” 

“Pfftt I am an independent business owner who still manages to be a stellar student AND I manage to handle Akuma attacks alone more often than not, what about you?”

“What does that matter? Marinette's gotten to you hasn’t she? You know she's been sent away for assaulting a classmate?”

“That's weird from what she told me she quit” she shouted “really chat you should leave the manipulating to Rossi and Cesaire”

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK, I DONT MANIPULATE” He screamed at her. Why was it that everyone was turning against him lately?

“You’re right, you only do that after you try everything else to make yourself seem good” Ladybug finished staring back at Chat noirs infuriated green eyes, His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked the angriest he ever had. 

Staring at him Marinette came to a realization, she took a few step backs “We’ll talk later” She jumped off the roof and started making her way to a specific location.

Batcave                                                                                                      Wayne Manor, USA                                                                                      12:30 pm

“Master Dick I must ask you to please refrain from breaking your ribs in the future” Alfred sighed, Luckily Batman was able to arrive in time to stop Nightwing from getting kidnapped or worse. Red Hood quickly arrived and hauled an unconscious Nightwing to the Cave.

Batman, Red Robin, and Robin were currently spread around Gotham and Bludhaven trying to track down any stragglers. 

“Sorry Alfie, I’m way too cute for the criminals to stay away” Dick mumbled sleepily

 “-humph- Regardless No patrolling for 6 weeks,”

“You hurt me, I hope you know that Alf” He joked. Eh, they were all fast healers, he’ll probably be back on patrol in 4 weeks. 

“Heya Alfred, Now that Dick is alright I am going to head back out” Jason said adjusting his gloves and strapping his knives in place.

“Before you leave Master Jason please pickup the Tupperware filled with food I have left for you in the kitchen, And please escort Master Dick to his room for rest” Alfred knew good and well that his charges love not listening to doctors, er butlers, orders.

“Thanks, Alf, Comere Dickwad” Helping Dick up from the cot “but I don’t want to,” Dick whined. “Tough luck”

Making there way throughout the manor, Dick suddenly stopped “Marinette's room is right there, lemme check on her” 

Jesus sometimes Dick can be more of a mother hen than Bruce “Come on Dickface, It's almost 1 am any sane person will be asleep by now” he said tiredly but a part of him wanted to check up on her too. Curse these big brother instincts. “Fine only a peek”

Once they stumbled to the front of Marinette's room, Jason gently cracked open the door seeing Marinette sleeping he moved aside to allow Dick to take a peak. To Jason's shock Dick unwrapped his arm from His shoulder and pushed open the door, stumbling to Marinette's Bed. Quickly pulling off the sheets he revealed a bundle of pillows under the blanket. 

Marinette wasn’t in her bed.

 “Crap”

I just Love cliffhangers, don’t you guys love them as well? I am asking that you guys please message me any prompts you would like for me to write for my one-shot series. Else I’m just going to keep making sad angsty one-shots. Stay Safe and Healthy guys <3. 

Feel free to reblog,like and comment :)

Taglist:

@maribat-is-lifeblood @kass-is-weird @another-fan-of-anotherplan @damianette-is-life @amayakans @parallelparabox @miukiiu @valeks-princess @toodaloo-kangaroo @vixen-uchiha @thezestywalru @dreamykitty25 @pirats-pizzacanninibles @mochinek0 @shamefullove @mochegato @souleateralicestein @thestressmademedoit @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen @aestheticnpoetic @mysupporthyperfixations @itsmeevie01

[girlsgonemildblog]

She Doesn’t Even Go Here - The Bachelor, Season 25, Week 6 Recap

Image from abc.com

Last week’s episode ended with MJ and Jessenia going on a pre-rose ceremony quickie 2-on-1. As they wait for Matt to arrive, they begin to go at each other’s throats, and he inevitably ends up walking in on their bickering.

Matt speaks with Jessenia first. During her conversation with Matt, she says that MJ is the one who began the drama, which is objectively not true. While MJ was a bully, the actual bullying was definitely started by Victoria and Anna. Jessenia was right to call out MJ, but there was something sketchy about her in this moment. Her whole speech seemed very rehearsed, and her tone was calculated. I don’t know why, but she just comes off as fake to me.

MJ, meanwhile, is crying and calling Jessenia a “little bitch”, which isn’t great for her “not a bully” argument. She then collects herself, fluffs her hair, and declares that she had a “weak bitch moment” and “forgot who [she is] for a second”.

Matt then talks to MJ and says that the person Jessenia described did not match his experience with her. It seems that Matt actually had a connection with MJ, which was shocking since I don’t remember them ever speaking before. I really think the drama this season has overshadowed the actual romance, which is expected to some extent but also annoying when it gets to this point because The Bachelor is a dating show at its core.

MJ gets sent home, and even on her way out, she refuses to take ownership of her actions, instead claiming that Jessenia “sabotaged” her. Jessenia gets the 2-on-1 date rose, but it isn’t shown. I think this may be the first off-screen rose in the history of the franchise. Sketchy. 

Shortly after the rest of the girls arrive, Chris Harrison joins them and tells them the cocktail party has been canceled, and they’ll go directly to the rose ceremony. The last mean girl standing, Serena C (pictured below), then declares that the toxicity in the house never should’ve been brought to Matt’s attention and blames Katie for the lack of time she’s spent with him. As Katie correctly points out, Matt canceled the rose ceremony because he knew who he wanted to keep. If he sent Serena C. home, it was because he didn’t have a connection with her, not because of anything anyone else said or did.

Image from abc.com

Unfortunately, he does not send Serena C home. Instead, he says goodbye to sweet Magi, who we better see in Paradise, as well as “new girls” Brittany and Ryan, leaving Michelle as the only remaining member of the second batch of ladies.

The next day, Serena C. decides she needs to “confront” Katie. What her actual argument against Katie was, I could not determine. She seems to think that bullying, harassment, and slut-shaming should be allowed to continue if stopping it could affect her chances with a guy. Serena C. contains so much internalized misogyny that it actually makes me miss the #girlboss feminism that this show usually espouses.

After all the yelling (there was a lot of yelling), Serena C. goes downstairs to talk shit and says of Katie, “she came in hot with her sex positivity,” like being comfortable in your sexuality is somehow a bad or shameful thing. This actually makes a lot of sense; Serena C. doesn’t know how to properly masturbate and possibly has never cum. Maybe an orgasm would make her a little more pleasant to be around.

Image from abc.com

The first date is a one-on-one with Pieper. She and Matt go to a private carnival in the woods at night that looked absolutely magical.

Photo from Twitter

She opens up to him about having a different love language from her parents, who express themselves through actions instead of words. She explains that this has made it hard for her to open up. Matt says he used to struggle with the same thing, and she gets the rose.

Photo from Instagram

For the group date, Matt takes the girls bowling. Why you would want to touch communal, uncleanable objects and then eat finger food in the middle of a panoramic is beyond me, but to each their own, I guess. The group is split into two teams, and only the winners will get to go on to the night portion. The girls who lose are understandably upset, specifically Abigail, who has grown frustrated with the process as she feels she and Matt are growing apart rather than closer. Kit has yet another funny one-liner, asking Matt, “what do you want in a wife? A bowler?”

Shortly after the losing team gets home, they are invited back to the date since Matt doesn’t want stupid games affecting his time with anyone. This is a great PR move for Matt with the girls. Also, it suggests to me that there was someone on the losing side who he really wanted to get to talk to…

Michelle, who was on the winning side, gets the rose, but I don’t know why because I don’t pay enough attention to the parts with no drama.

Katie finally gets a one-on-one, and the “activity” is pranking Matt’s best friend and bachelor nation heartthrob,  Tyler C., while he gets a massage. The two sit in a hidden room and whisper directions into the masseuse’s earpiece like Impractical Jokers, if it was actually mildly entertaining and the hosts were attractive. During the night portion, Katie gets friend-zoned, and we sadly have to say goodbye to one of the only good people on this season.

Photo from Twitter

Oh! I just realized I forgot to mention this entire episode has been littered with 30-second snippets of Heather Martin quarantining to get a chance to meet Matt. If you’re unfamiliar, Heather was on Colton’s season of The Bachelor, and her storyline was that at 23-years-old, she had never had her first kiss. Colton did eventually kiss her, and according to other contestants of that season, he was not very good at it. But doesn’t everyone’s first time suck, really? So it was fitting.

Anyway, as the cocktail party is beginning, Heather pulls up (in a minivan for some reason), walks right past all the girls, and goes directly to interrupt Matt and Pieper. As soon as Matt sees her, he burst out in laughter. Now I do not judge him for this, as I am also a nervous laugher, but this still cannot be a good sign for Heather. All the girls are angry, but Pieper specifically can best be described as “big mad”. Cue the cliffhanger.

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike's Choice CH5 PT6

Hehehe some Kiro angst is here!! And some fluff and resolution as well!! This'll be a good part so stay tuned!! :D

Warnings: One curse word but other then that its literally just angst, fluff, and resolution. Unless you got a problem with cliffhangers. Then you got another thing coming...

(Chapter Five (Kiro and Youran) Prologue and part one, two, three, four and five can be found here~)

((Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D))

Chapter Five:

Part six:

After that day, we had rescheduled the shooting for a couple days later that week. When the day came, I didn’t attend. Leaving Bart to take care of the field work as usual as I returned to behind my desk. Where I was meant to be.

It had taken some time but I was finally able to convince Victor to let me drive a car alone. Granted, It had GPS tracking so I was never really alone but it was nice to finally have control of my driving again. The drive to and from work where I was alone and lost in my thoughts that I dreaded being lost in. Being in control of the driving stopped me from going mad.

 I had sent my phone to be fixed and it returned to me as good as new. I was told that there had been a virus in it. Even though I didn’t believe them, it was nice to have my phone back. But with my newly fixed phone, I had gotten phone call after phone call from people. I only answered a select few, ignoring the ones from Gavin and Kiro. Youran would call too. No matter how badly I wanted to be left alone, I couldn’t just leave her hanging.

Youran was really understanding and, though she didn’t know what had happened, she was willing to help me feel better. Offering coffee dates in the morning just to talk or to even jog with me on the weekends. I tried telling her no. I tried pushing her away to be left alone. I wanted space to think… but the moment I saw her smiling eyes in my mind, I swayed into agreeing to anything she asked.

Youran had posted an interview with the Key. Clearing his name and posing the fact that he was really framed and someone else had been using his name. After it was posted, the hacking had stopped and our websites were back to normal. I had tried listening to the interview but couldn’t make it all the way through without the memories from under the studio sending me into a migraine. 

I had spent most of my time working but it was just to keep out of my mind. When I wasn’t working, I was working on the board I had put together in my apartment. It had all the information that I had about Montu and, now, Black Swan. Though there wasn’t much, it was something. Gavin often knocked at my door to check on me. But after a week of no answer, he stopped coming by.

Two weeks had passed and I was in my office working on my biweekly report for Victor when a soft knocking came from the door. I looked up and saw Minor standing there, smiling kindly and holding a mug in his hands. “Yes?” I asked, returning my attention to my computer.

“You’ve been working so hard this past week,” Minor walked into the room and placed the drink down in front of me, “I figured you could use a break! Stretch your legs, brighten the mind...” I glanced at the drink. Minor noticed and said, “It’s hot chocolate! It’s supposed to be comforting!”

“I’m fine.” I said impassively, returning my focus to the computer. Minor drummed his fingers on the mug.

“...You know,” He sighed, “Everyone is worried about you. No one can remember the last time you’ve eaten. Or… left the office in general. You’re here before anyone else is and are still here when everyone has left… Gavin even told me you’ve been ignoring him… Miss. Ike, you need to re-”

“I appreciate your concern,” I spoke impassively, “But I’m fine. It’s just work. And, with everything that happened a couple of weeks ago-” I stopped for a second as images flashed into my mind from that day, “... we are running behind schedule.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, steaming the pain that rose in my temples. Minor reached out to me but was cut off by the sound of an alarm going off on my phone. I picked it up and stood from my chair. “I’ve got to pick up my brother. I’ll be back in ten minutes. When I come back, I want this drink off my desk.”

Minor sighed, “Yes mam.”

>>>

I was sitting at the steering wheel reading my emails as I waited for Sam to come out of class. The passenger side door opened and Sam popped into the car excitedly. “Hey, Ike!” He sung, “How are you?”

“Fine.” The word had lost its meaning at this point, “How was school?”

“Not bad, but I heard something today!” Sam spoke quickly as I turned the car on, “Someone said the Carnival was in town! Can we go??” I froze.

>>>

“Did you hear!?” Kiro spoke excitedly over the phone, “The carnival is coming to town! We should go together!”

“Kiro, don’t you realize how dangerous this could be?” I sighed, “If word got out that you were at the carnival-”

“I’ll be safe! I promise!!” Kiro pleaded, “Come on, Super Stranger! I want to hang out with you!” My face grew hot as I stayed speechless. Superstar Kiro wanted to hangout with me! Of all people! “What? You don’t seriously think this my first time in public, do you?” Kiro teased, “I’ll wear a disguise! We’ll be fine! Trust me!”

>>>

I grimised and shook my head. “No.” I answered resoundly, shifting the car out of park.

“Aw come on!” Sam whined, “But it’s friday! And they’ll be gone by this weekend”

“No, Sam.”

“But I feel like I haven’t seen you all week!” Sam pouted, “You haven’t been over for dinner and we rarely talk when you pick me up... You’ve been so distant.” I paused, tapping on the steering wheel. Feeling Sam's eyes on me, I flashed a glance at him. His eyes were pleading. A pain shot through my chest.  “I… I know something happened to you last week.” Sam started playing with his backpack. “And even though you won’t tell me what happened exactly, I miss you… Please, Ike?” I tightened my grip on the wheel and glared at the road. Unable to help myself, I looked over to Sam. He was wearing the puppy eyes that he had used countless times before. I quickly looked back at the road.

Not again. I will not let those damn eyes get to me again…. No… no!... damn it.

I sighed deeply and, after stopping at a stop light, pulled out my phone. I dialed a number then held my phone up to my ear.

“Hello! This is Ikamara Bikira’s office!” Minor chimed, “She is currently out right now but I can leave a message!”

“Minor, it’s me.” I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose, “I’m not coming back to the office. I’m… taking that break.” Sam cheered from next to me.

“Really?!” Minor excitedly asked, “What made you change your mind? Was it my speech?!”

“No. It was my power hungry brother." I playfully glared at Sam, "Tell the office that if they need anything they should go to Bart before calling me… and not a word of this is to be repeated to Gavin, understand?!”

>>>

“Where should we go first!?” Asked a very all over the place Sam. We were standing at the front gate of the carnival. Screams and music played with our ears as the smell of fried goods and sweet treats did our noses. “We could go on the rides! Or play the games! I thought I saw a shooting game!! Ike, are you still a good shot?!”

“Of course I am.” I said as I looked around, “Just remember, we are only here for a little bit. I still have work I need to get back to”

“Don’t you always?” Sighed Sam, “Just enjoy the time spent with your favorite foster brother!! So, where do you want to go first??” 

“The ticket desk.” I arched an eyebrow, “Before we go anywhere, we need to pay for-” I was cut short as a bear approached us. Or more, a man in a bear costume.

“Ho ho ho!” He laughed, doing a little jig, “Welcome to the carnival! I’m Chuckles the Bear!” Chuckles chuckled, further extenuating his point, “Would you folks like to win some free tickets?!”

“Boy, would we!” Sam jumped excitedly. I hesitated. Something about this bear seemed familiar.

“Alright, little boy!” Chuckles patted Sam’s head, “All you gotta do is answer one question! Ready?” Sam nodded seriously, bracing himself.

“What color…” Chuckles paused for dramatic effect, “... is the sky?!” Sam threw his head up in the air.

“Well, today it’s looking pretty blue.” He said, pursing his lips slightly.

“Ding ding ding! We have a winner!!” Chuckles reached into his pocket and pulled out a large batch of tickets. He handed them out to Sam, “Here you go little boy!”

“Yay!!” Sam cheered and took the tickets. He held them out victoriously to me, “Now we don’t have to pay for tickets!” 

“Yeah...” I said slowly, looking up at the bear, “Thanks.”

“No problem!” Chuckles chuckled, “Just a little nice deed from your good ol friend Chuckles! I’ll see you folks around the park!” Chuckles turned and waved goodbye to us. Sam waved enthusiastically back.

“Bye!” He called, “And thank you!!” I narrowed my eyes. 

“Something about that bear was fishy.” I murmured.

“Who cares?!” Sam grabbed my hand again, “Let’s go!”

With that, Sam and I explored the park. We went on rides, played games, ate food. I was quick to notice that Chuckles was never too far from us. He was either selling balloons close by, playing a game a couple of stalls away, he even manned the cotton candy stand when we bought some. Though, the term 'bought' was used lightly as he wouldn’t let us pay for it.

Eventually, I had had enough.

I approached Chuckles from behind as he was handing a balloon to a little girl. “Here you are!” He said gleefully, “Thank you for the candy!!”

“What kind of employee trades a balloon for a piece of candy?” I asked, making Chuckles jump, “It’s a terrible way to run a carnival if you ask me.”

“Though, no one is complaining!” Sam spoke up from next to me, pulling his nearly full cart of prizes with him, “You can keep giving away free stuff if you feel like it! Especially to us!” I narrowed my eyes and folded my arms.

“What’s your deal?” I growled, “You’ve been following us all day.” 

“What are you talking about, Miss. Lady?!” Chuckles shrugged and rocked back and forth, feigning childlike innocence, “I’m just a kind and harmless bear!”

“I want answers, bear.” I snapped, startling the bear once again, “Don’t think I’m above beheading you in front of all these children.”

“Ok! Ok!” The bear’s voice had changed dramatically, “I’ll tell you just don’t take off my head! You’ll only end up making a scene.” I froze. I knew that voice all too well. Though it had been a long time since I had heard it.

“Kiro?” I asked in a harsh whisper. Chuckles looked around then lifted his head. A bright blue eyed Kiro smiled at me nervously.

“Hey, Super Stranger.” He laughed weakly, “Long time no see!” Sam gasped dramatically from next to me.

“KI-” He started. I threw my hand over his mouth.

“Shh!!” Kiro and I said quickly. Kiro dropped his bear head and looked around again.

“Can we talk somewhere a bit more private?” He asked through the mask.

>>>

“Coast is clear.” I let down the flap to the cleaning tent and walked back to the boys. Kiro took off his bear costume and sighed.

“Thank goodness.” He breathed, “That costume was so hot.”

“It’s Kiro!” Sam whispered excitedly as he jumped in place, “Ike! Ike, look! It’s Kiro!!”

“I know.” I scowled, folding my arms across my chest, “What are you doing here, Kiro?"

“I wanted to see the carnival!” Kiro smiled weakly at me. I deepened my glare, “And…. I also wanted to see you.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes. Sam stared at the both of us, awestruck.

“Ike!!” Said Sam, exasperatedly, “Kiro just said he wanted to see you?!?! What haven’t you been telling me!?”

“Remember when I got trapped under the studio and came out a mess?”

“Yeah?”

“He is the reason that happened.”

Sam gasped dramatically and scooted closer to me. Kiro sighed, “I thought I told you it wasn’t me! Didn’t you see Youran’s interview?”

“Yeah, I’m still not convinced.” I growled.

“Well, what can I do to convince you??" Kiro took a step closer to me, "Would you like more tickets? How bout a ride on the ferris wheel! I can get you the best seats! You can overlook all of Loveland from there!”

“Pass.” I turned around to the tent opening, “Goodbye, Key.”

“Ike, please.” Kiro grabbed my arm, “Please let me make this up to you. I hate the idea that you hate me. Just, let me do something! Or, better yet, you do something! Yell at me! Beat me if you want!” I stayed where I was, fighting with the anger in my chest. This man just treated me the same as everyone else did in my life, and he expects me just to let it go?! “W-wait!” Kiro turned me around and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a little white handkerchief. “Don’t you want this back?” He asked, handing it to me. I didn’t take it. I just stared at it as memories of all the times he got hurt poured into my mind. It was all because of me! Why was he fighting so hard to come back to me? It seemed wrong. What was he trying to prove?!

Kiro sighed and dropped his hand to his side. “i know I hurt you.” His voice cracked. , “I know there are things I need to make up for and I understand it can take some time… I-I just… want to be your sidekick again.” Kiro’s last words were enough to obliterate whatever anger had. I fought to bring it back. He lied to you! He broke your heart! I repeated that in my head as I finally looked up at  him. Kiro’s eyes were sparkling. But it wasn’t the regular sparkle that made fans weak. It was the kind of sparkle that came from the water that pooled under his eyes. 

My heart shattered. 

I made Kiro cry.

 I was probably the only person on earth to make Kiro cry. That was a badge I never wanted to bear. 

I relaxed my body as I looked at him. Time seemed to pass slowly as we held our breaths, struggling to keep the silence. Eventually, Sam tugged at my shirt. “I know I’m supposed to hate him right now,” Sam said with a strain in his voice, “but even I can’t be angry at that face.” Kiro shifted his eyes to Sam.

“Sorry.” He said, struggling to maintain his smile through a forced chuckle, “I-” I walked up to Kiro, cutting him off. I took the handkerchief and brushed it under his eye, stopping a tear from rolling down his cheek. Kiro’s eyes flashed a look of surprise. I examined his face a little longer. Then sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

“... Why did you have to pull the sidekick card?” I said, punching him weakly on the arm. Kiro’s body tensed. I shook my head and pulled him into an hug. Kiro stalled a moment, but it didn’t take him long to reciprocate. He held me tightly as we stood together in silence. I tightened my grip on him. I was afraid that, if we separated, something would happen to make me lose him. To lose myself. He brought me so much light. How could I have just let that go?

After a long moment, I felt something hit my side. I looked down. Sam had invited himself in on the hug. I smiled and patted his head. Kiro looked down at Sam, wiping his face as he laughed. “Hey, kid.” Kiro rubbed Sam’s head, “If you wanted a hug, just say so!”

“Really?!” Sam beamed. 

“Why don’t we get out of this tent first?” I pushed away from the boys’ embrace and pocketed my handkerchief. Kiro looked at me hopefully. 

“Can... I join you?” He asked, anticipation dripping from his tongue.

“It’s to be expected.” I arched an eyebrow and folded my arms, “I do believe I promised a certain someone a day at the carnival.” I smirked. Kiro smiled brightly, sending the long missed feeling of butterflies in my stomach. That smile didn’t last long though as Kiro suddenly frowned.

“Wait, does this mean I have to put back on the bear suit?”

(Next)

[grlfriends]

revolutionary girl utena review

ep 1-5

the plot is actually kinda different from what I thought ?? in my mind the plot was: utena was a girl in a princess school who each and every princess would be "conquered" (for a lack of better words rn) in a ceremonial duel by a prince who fancied them, maybe she didnt wanna wanna marry anyone or she liked Anthy already but anyway in my mind utena showed up in the ceremony with duel clothing and then, in a very brave tm like-scene, she would openly declare she refused to be conquered by anyone and tbh I'm not even sure how Anthy would come into the plot... but back into what actually happened in the episodes everything so far is very introductory and just showing what mechanics will be explored further down the line I think?? the op is really good too

also every boy so far reminds me so much of knights of the zodiac?? maybe it's just the design I guess...) and nanami can get these hands, jealousy is a disease and she's the sickest person on earth for all I know

dont ask me why bit I just feel like room of mirrors - gfriend has a very well fitting vibe for it but I'm not exactly sure why hm.... 🤔🤔

ep 6-12

ok so why does this school just have random animals around 😐 I could understand the horse but a bull and a kangaroo?? what ...

touga just says the most random dramatic things and then just casually says anyone who believes in friendship is a fool ?? the guy wouldnt last a day in the naruto universe tbh, he kinda irks me in some way but I'm not sure why so I'll live with this strange feeling for a while I guess

↳ okay so watching ep 10 made me especially kinda creeped out, I know I've watched only 10 eps so far but like can he fall downstairs and break a neck or something already ...

also haha what if I watched that bet on it fmv and gave myself a bunch of spoilers would that be funny or what 😍 this is why i cant have nice things yall.... hope my memory goes to shit when sleep so I dont remember about it this week while I finish it

I feel like the main thing on the episodes are parallels, one way or another I always feel like they're setting up parallels and giving me clues for a bigger picture and a deeper plot arc that is still to come and the bet on it fmv just made this impression stronger, also I wanna say it's done in a good way, one that is both mysterious (??) and "honey you've got a big storm coming" at the same time 🤔🤔 much to think about honestly

↳ just saw ep 11 and even though I already knew this was coming sooner or later it still felt like crap seeing utena lose to dick head, at the end of the episode when he says anthy was always just reflecting utena's own wishes for himemiya (in another way bc I dont remenber the exact words) it felt like 😐 bc yes I knew that (the way she was working her thoughts was simply a copy and paste of what utena was saying) at all time I kept those essays about anthy in my head, I dont think theyll be truly relatable to what I'm seeing rn but yeah anthy rights (even though I know you betray/cheat on utena down the line bc of the bet on it fmv but I'm sure you had your own motivation)

↳ saw ep 12 bc I just couldnt handle being in a cliffhanger and yeah it happened what I absolutely thought it would lmao not that it was that difficult to foresee but yeah, I kinda liked how utena did it for her instead of being like "oh I wanna save anthy from touga" and treating her like a damsel in distress (I know that's kinda her position as the rose bride for what I've been told so far and that this is a subject spoken about in many many essays on tumblr but yeah) bc so far she's been treated as a trophy and a way to get something else, for the green haired guy it was a way to see something eternal, for miki it was a way to hold on into his "shining thing" and for touga it seems (so far) like a way to manipulate (just like he does with nanami) and just mark his position as above everyone else as he seems to view himself?? man I might be saying random stuff rn but it kinda does makes sense in my mind with the information I've had to this point

ep 13-25

honestly 😐😐 through 9 whole episodes I felt like they were trying to make the side characters deeper and show their hidden face and motivations but it felt so shallow...... not even actually shallow, just not deep enough that it would make me care about these characters and the fact there was no actual build to showing us why we're getting to know these characters backgrounds was just kinda meh too, didnt really help that all episodes had all the same formula and the same timing just for the developers made in those episodes be forgotten at the end and also just that pink haired guy could be like "ah failure again", it felt like watching the same episode over and over again, it was really tiring and like?? girl help I do not care about these characters at all, I feel like it could have been done well (like the keiko ep in comparison to the furuba chapter that deals with the yuki appreciation (??) club president graduating.... the way this ep was done and setup didn't really bring me any emotions) overall not to my taste and tbh I feel like I could have skipped all those episodes except for maybe the miki and juri one so 😑

all nanami focused episodes are the worst so far, she's so boring and I cant stand now annoying she is, the diary episode?? the cow episode?? the episode when tsuwabiki fuels with utena?? honestly I know they're trying to show me a better and different side of her but it just doesnt!! work!! bc i feel no sympathy for her, my biggest wish rn is her and touga just disappearing and no more filler episodes🗣🗣

I thought akio was utena's prince?? but apparently he's just anthy's brother and like.. I'm do done with his little talks with utena and yadda yadda, I just wanna see their duel is that too much to ask I'm dying over here (if this lenga lenga continues until ep 25 i will be so mad bc why were so many episodes wasted on such boring and and not necessary side characters backstories?? idc about them at all man aaaaaaaaaa)

↳ ep 25 was good finally we got what we deserve boys 😭😭😭😭😭 can utena just beat up akio already I'm tired of his ass, he exhales both "I'm a feminist I even take women studies classes #herstory" and "if she breathes she's a thot" energy also he has 0 style that mullet is simply horrible I bet there's a hairstylist community who considers him a criminal bc like 😐 it is simply so bad (q bit less when it's tied up but when it's all lose jesus Christ)

also touga thinks he's suuuuch a genius, sooo smart like king, I do not care about you at all can you shut the fuck up please and can we tall about the pink haired guy episode?? wack. honestly thought it would be more emotional or something, I binge watched 12 episodes with his ugly haircut face and did not even feel a thing he can choke I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ANTHY TAKING A SWORD OUT OF UTENA'S CHEST??? OSCAR WORTHY KINGS❗❗❗and then her lame ass brother being like "oh ho ho idk idk" shut up no one cares no one cares I swear to you no one cares shut uuuuup

ep 25-39

first of all, ep 25 was good but kinda reminded me of the nine episodes (13 until 21) where absolutely nothing interesting happened so I hope I'm wrong also can I just say just seeing the preview of the next episode made me roll my eyes so bad I almsot saw my brain?? bc yeah I'm fucking tired of nanami fosuced episodes she's so annoying oh my god nobody cares about a goddamn egg and much less one coming from her let her die or something pls she's so annoying there's nothing I've learned about her that was not against my own will I'm basically rotting over here 🤒

↳ ep 30 has me thinking Akio has a foot fetish or something 😐 bruh leave utena aloooooone I already know your plans and schemes you're not fooling anyone that's embarrassing for u and also... utena you're not very bright are you.... you start seeing every duelist you face with the same exact car and then when you see akio has the same car you didnt even stop to think about it that 1+1 equals 2 ... girl help yourself 😐

↳ yet again another nanami focused ep 😐😐😐😐😐 even though I do understand her better now I still don't find her particularly enjoyable to watch, call me a woman hater but like. idk she's still a bit annoying to me (but touga is straight up evil and is manipulating her so I feel bad for feeling like that tho.....)

↳ ok last 2 eps to go but listen. I thought the akio duel would have happened much sooner, maybe on ep 33 max but well didn't this age well lmao ngl, it did seem a bit too slow paced for my personal taste but also I feel like there's a certain level of drama that comes with slowing the pace down....

↳ aaaaaa yall I'm kinda 😢😭 over the ending omg........... even though it took the best of me to keep going in some parts I still enjoyed the ending aaaaa I thought i wouldnt really like it bc I just usually dont enjoy this type of ending but stil 😢😢😢😢 wait for me utena 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 girl I cried and then anthy walking in the end god utena and anthy holding hands 😭😭😭😭 akio can suck my dick

there's obviously many things I've missed or that I kinda didnt really pay attendance to so please dont take this serious, I was just writing as I watched the episodes so it's more like a thought compilation than anything, still I can see why there's many essays written about it and why it is held as a masterpiece by so many people

[thethirdwheel404]

Med Rewatch Series (#20)

YESSIR. WE MADE IT. I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MADE IT.

Final episode that I’m watching for the rewatch series. Ready to fuck some shit up.

S3 E20: The Tipping Point.

Episode description: Dr. Rhodes second guesses his decision to remove himself from the team of doctors who work to separate conjoined twins.

You’ve gotta be fucking joking right?

okay.

last ava ep that mattered. i’m so excited

let’s get into it.

- ava

- the way nat looks at connor when ava says that he will not be operating

- it’s like no one trusts ava at all?

- yes, he’s emotionally involved, but is that really that good of a thing?

- ava is of sound mind. connor evidently does not think that he is

- why is connor apparently the only one capable of the surgery?

- fuck off. this is why he needs to leave

- so many nat ava interactions. i never expected this. ( i should have. i am dumb)

- ava reminding nat that like, she’s here. right next to them. in this conversation

- nat, to connor: “The cronins are counting on you!”

ava: “They’re counting on the team.” like bitch?

- like it or not, nat also does not believe women should have rights. maybe it’s a manstead thing. no. it’s definitely a med thing.

- i like ethan’s jacket.

- april can shut the fuck up. hypocrite? i smell a hypocrite? (who am I kidding, they’re all over med)

- ethan has the best outfits

- april. the one who preached unconditional love. is like. ‘emily can get fucked. i don’t care.’ i can’t believe it. this is so fucking stupid.

- three weeks ago (literally) will and nat were not on speaking terms. now he’s gonna fucking propose?

- NOBODY ON MED HAS FUCKING BRAIN CELLS

- I always hated how on tv shows, characters get married super soon. it’s so fucking annoying.

- omg bert tried to kill himself holy shit

- ava sighing at connor trying to give input.

- sarah’s dad: “I don’t deserve you.” NO BITCH YOU DON’T. go die

- connor fuck off. stop having to give orders on everything

- yeah, sure. connor emotes in this episode. but what he’s emoting at is going in and fucking stealing a huge surgery

- i can’t believe this is the last episode of med with connor. can’t believes he leaves for mayo clinic at the end of the season... the world we live in...

- YESSS THEY FIND EMILY AT THE ENCAMPMENT. classic angst. honestly. i fucking love it.

- yeah april.

- god this is like. classic angst. old school. back to basics. this is fucking fantastic

- UGHHHH I LOVE ITTTT

- the fuck?

- the mayo guy, and the other doctors are surprised that connor, a surgeon, knows how to do surgery? EXCUSE ME? THE BAR IS ON THE FUCKING FLOOR

- why is everyone so fucking stupid. i’m being serious. watch that scene. it is so stupid.

- ava is... not surprised that connor cut in. i mean. is anyone?

- she almost has that scoffy grin, that she does, under her mask

- okay but like ava’s character growth. instead of being mad that connor’s getting in on the surgery (like she would at the beginning of the season), she’s concerned for his career.

- sarah’s dad is fucking pathetic. i can’t believe sarah’s stuck with him. she deserves so much better

- SHE HAD TO MOVE TO FUCKING TEXAS. COME THE FUCK ON.

- i can’t believe he fucking tricks her into walking him outside. fuck him.

- takes him for a walk and pushes him down a hill

- it’s taking all of my self control not to write something where ava does that

- the way ethan subtly flinches when emily apoligizes. brian tee is a god

- sarah’s dad’s dialogue really makes it seem like he’s gonna murder his own daughter

- the monkeys is a good bit

- HOLY SHIT ITS LANIK

- I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT OKAY DAMN

- he is way different than i remember. i literally never paid attention to him

- ava with her fuckinngggg rolled up sleeves is still fantastic

- ava’s disappointment at seeing connor meet with the mayo clinic guy. most rh*kker thing we’ve seen all season. and yeah, i’m including the one night stand. there’s a special kind of upset you get at seeing someone you love leave and move far away. it’s not really the same as losing someone who’s just a friend. that’s why i say it’s the most rh*kker thing.

- of course, i am still keeping them platonic, so going off of that. ava is thinking that she is about to lose the only person she’s gotten close to in the last seven months. of course she’s going to be upset

- (in the rewrite this loss is not as much of a problem bc in the rewrite she has reese)

- also that surgery was so anticlimactic fuck off. this episode is fucking boring. my favorite part is probably the emily reveal. i’m a sucker for some sibling angst

- is he really going to propose. off of that? her being mad at him. you’ve got to be fucking joking.

- HOLY FUCKING SHIT APRIL IS THE MOST ANNOYING PERSON. SO FUCKING CONDESCENDING? “She’s damaged, you can’t fix her.” SHE’S TALKING DOWN TO HIM. this is so fucking infuriating

- i cannot believe this i cannot believe this i cannot believe this she’s fucking breaking up with him bc he cares about his sister. the sister she told him to care about?? holy fuck, I can’t

- WILL IS SO FUCKING DUMB

- YOU CANT PROPOSE TO HER WHEN SHES MAD AT YOU

- YOU ALSO CANT PROPOSE TO HER BC YOU ARE FUCKING TOXIC

- WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???

- he is so fucking dumb oh my god

- connor looking out, pensive over the parking lot. why is everyone on this show so fucking extra

- tell me why ava’s casual clothes is a button up. ma’am.

- back at it with the snippy one liners

- she looks so sad? baby noooo.

- i can’t. my heart can’t.

- there’s a lot to unpack in this scene

- i don’t really know why she starts out looking so sad?

- let’s chalk that up to her being tired, and channeling her little energy into feigning annoyance at connor. but then, as she keeps speaking, keeps thinking, she taps into this deep seeded feeling of indignance. real annoyance at connor’s bullshit.

- connor returns ava’s initial comment, which at this point is still kind of light and teasing, with another sly line, trying to brush it off.

connor: “You give me too much credit.”

ava, tucking her tongue in front of her teeth in that way when you don’t believe what someone’s saying: “Do I?”

- next, she says “you’re ambition strikes me as boundless.” I really have no clue what to make of that/

- then she says “I don’t know what to think.” shaking her head, shrugging. at a loss. why? is it bc she can’t figure out what he is/was trying to do? she can’t understand him anymore?

i think it’s ‘she was surprised by what he did, but she’s mad at herself bc honestly, she shouldn’t have been’. she thought he had changed, when he pulled himself off the case. thought he had gained some humility (finally, finally given ava her one moment in the sun to shine). and then he goes back on it almost immediately.

yeah. that’s what it is. she’s surprised, but mad bc she shouldn’t have been.

- she says “but I’m sure you also secured yourself an attending position” as like a slight jab. not really meant to be cutting, but then his reaction ruins it and makes her realize that something worse actually happened. if connor had responded to it in kind with another snarky comment the moment probably would have been fine

- connor’s “ah, god, ava -” comes off as so fucking insincere.

- ava’s small little “what?”. my heart

- i also think it’s interesting that when she’s thinking things through in the moment really fast, her face changes with her thoughts/emotions, and out of some sort of reflex, she smiles. her first thing is to laugh at the situation, scoff at it

- she’s laughing out of disbelief

- why is she laughing (out of reflex)? because this is stupid. HE DID SOMETHING THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNFAIR AND RECKLESS. AND HE’S GETTING REWARDED FOR IT. LIKE HE ALWAYS HAS. and Ava is the only person to see how unfair it is. everyone else would congratulate him no questions. can’t fucking believe it

- connor asking ava if she would take the offer is so fucking pathetic. he’s asking bc he’s hoping she’d say no, and then he’d finally have his answer to ‘is she in love with me’. the stupidest thing is she says no, which basically means no, i’m not in love with you, AND HE STILL TURNS IT DOWN. WHAT THE FUCK

- boy get some fucking eyes.

- also holy shit i’m just now realizing how cool my idea of connor somehow passing the offer off to her would be in one of my alternate endings of s3. because, he literally asks her is she would take the offer and she literally says she would. so that would be completely in character

- for those of you wondering, in my version, the reason ava wants connor around is bc he’s her only friend. why would it make sense for her to take the mayo clinic offer? did you just trap yourself in your logic

- no, it’s okay, bc if she took the offer, it’s just a reset. it’s not any different, bc she’s in a completely new place, she has time to make more connections. the reason she clung to connor was bc over the seven months, he was the only person she connected with, so she valued him immensely. there’s no reason she couldn’t make another connection at the mayo clinic. it’s perfectly fine.

- connor’s such a fucking simp its so pathetic

- she’s staying for sarah

- why does she start crying? that’s a good question.

- well, for all the reasons we stated before. she’s losing the closest thing to a best friend that she has. it’s sad. it’s alienating. and she’s sad bc she thinks there’s no way that he wouldn’t take the offer

- (bc they’re just good friends. you don’t turn down job offers for good friends. and it’s true. in my version, they are just good friends, and connor takes it. and ava has to deal with being lonely again.)

- (of course, med took a different route.)

- i fucking hate this show. i fucking hate this show so much.

- the last shot of the season is sarah and charles and sarah’s dad and we get one episode of  wrap up. med likes their cliffhangers so fucking much.

okay, so. this episode is pretty good for like a branching off point. we see the anxiety ava feels at the idea of connor leaving, which is really good to work with moving forward. I feel like I’ve said enough on all these different topics.

That being said, I have a lot of thoughts, and now that I have the knowledge of what my canon will be, going forward, this is going to be fun.

When I have more ideas, I’ll make more posts.

we’ve set the grounds. this was the final episode. now we look ahead, towards the future of med.

thank you, so much, for sticking with it. <3<3

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2e12 Live Blog

“The Wiping of the Disciple’s Butt”

The season finale. I’m nauseous. Lets begin. 

As always, I’m watching from the perspective of someone who has read the manga and webcomic. 

Right where we left off. Again I love the music. I’m just like, really calm right now actually. hhhhhhhhhhhokay. OOF oh god all the crunching sound effects oh no, this is already so weird watching Garou get his ass handed to him since he’s pretty much curb stomped every other hero in battle thus far, or at the VERY LEAST avoided taking so many hits. This. is so uncomfortable to watch. WOAH ????? THESE SHOTS WERE ONLY THERE FOR A SPLIT SECOND BUT??? HOLY SHIT???

GAROU’S HAIR OH MY GOD 

Oh god oh god Bang is relentless this hurts please stop guys GUYS PLZ  HAS NO ONE REALISED THAT NOT ONE HERO HAS DIED CMON PLZ IT HURTS calm down stop trying to kill him plsplspls OH

THIS 

IS WHY

WE STAN GAROU

HE SAYS FUCK DEATH HOW ABOUT I JUST GET STRONGER INSTEAD QUE EPIC THEME MUSIC

oh god damnit him legit running on all fours right there just looks goofy tho F “preposterous style” Bang you aint lying asdfghjkl really though OH MY GOD EVERYONE IS DRAWN SO BEAUTIFULLY THIS IS SO BLESSED 

WAIT 

NO OPENING THEME???????????????????? WHAT?????????????????????? WHY????????????????????????? ONE, I WANTED TO SEE THE CHIBI OF THE WEEK AND 2 

I WASNT PREPARED FOR MY FAVORITE DOPEY BIRD MAN THE FUCK PHOENIXMAN PLS NO ILY I know people hate him a lot but I just really dig how he feels like a fleshed out character compared to most other monsters, like he’s legit lookit him being all smart and stuff plz I just,,,,,,,,,,,, want to hug dumb fluffy birb ;-;

Woah again I’m being blown away by the animation??? Garou getting smacked around is really fluid and this just looks really cool in general?????

FUCK I CANT DO FLASHBACKS MAN JUST HEARING THE KID VOICE MAKED MY STOMACH LURCH OH NO 

OH NO I SCREAM OH NO I CANT OH NO GIMME 5 MINUTES PLEASE I CANNOT BBY NO I FORGOT ADULT GAROU IS IN THE FLASHBACK WATCHING THIS TIME PLS NO 

LIKE???????? I got kinda a comedic vibe watching him comment on it in the manga but the slow music and shit is just FUKKIN ME UP RIGHT NOW I HATE IT THANKS IT HURTS

oh god his face he has the seething thousand mile stare of quiet rage and its burning a hole STRAIGHT THROUGH MY ENTIRE BEING “But me I was the loner kid. Always gloomy and without friends” STOP. YOU STOP THAT RIGHT THIS INSTANT. IM CRYING AT U RIGHT NOW STOP

NO DONT HOLD HIM LET HIM GO S T O P OR SO HELP ME i can’t watch this what the fuck “I was always the loser” SHIT this legitimately hurts me “I dont want to be the monster anymore” GArou hey did you hear that part?? hEY GAROU DID YOU HEAR YOURSELF THERE??? 

WHAT DID I SAY WHAT THE F DID I JUST SAY STOP HOLDING HIM STOP STOPPIT  THE HELL MAN What if……….. I just go BACK IN TIME AND ADOPT BB GAROU CAN I DO THAT IS THIS POSSIBLE IS THIS ALLOWED ? ?? ?

oh my god it keeps getting worse. I mean. I already knew garou was being disproportionately reprimanded for what he supposedly did, but watching this scene just fucking kicked me in the teeth. As if my stomach wasn’t already in knots. The fuck . why does this hurt so much more watching than reading the frustration in seeping into me ffffff.

This looks really cool but, i can barely focus on that because im pretty much being exsanguinated on the floor over here by this whole sequence look at him crying. do it for me cause I sure as hell can’t 

“I want to strike a blow for the little guy”

Fukkin GETTEM GO GETTEM 

HOLY SHIT HIS VA IS GOING T F OFF 

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH LOOKIT HIM ILY SO MUCH SAVE THE DAY BIRB SAVE 

ASDFGHJKL THIS IS SO INTENSE EVERYONE IS SO INTENSE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS BUT HOLY SHIT FUCK IM SCREAMING GAROU IS SCREAMING BANG AND BOMB SCREAMING GENOS AND EVEN PHOENIXMAN EVEN THE MUSIC IS SCREAM WE ALL JUST SC R E M

OH MY GOD AND THE LITTLE HEAD NOT GENOS AND BANG GIVE EACHOTHER SAVING THE HEROES OH MY GOD OH FUCK AND THE WAY THEY ANIMATE BANG JUMPING AROUND IS DOPE AS HELL AND ALSO HOLY SHIT ELDER CENTIPEDE I MISSED THE UNSETTLING SMOOTH CG LIKE ANIMATION FOR THE CENTIPEDES EVERY CELL IN MY BODY IS JUST SCREAMING RN I AM OVERLOAD HELP 

Garou flailing in the air in Phoenixman’s grip is … really adorable oh my god. “It’s your fault for not finishing them” ooooooo that shut him up didn’t it oof. Also nice cameo by Tatsumaki there 

ASDFGHJKL THE MUSIC AGAIN I LOVE IT I LOVE THEM LOOK AT THEM OH MY GOD 

THIS IS SO BAD ASS

EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO BADASS

Genos’s eye static, The brother’s fists swirling, THE FUKKIN CARAPACE SHATTERING 

THIS FIGHT IS SO WILD MY COMPUTER CANT EVEN TAKE IT. ITS GLITCHING AND FREEZING UP HOLY SHIT

oh god ok the face coming out of the face was pure nightmare fuel alright then

WAIT

I FORGOT GENOS IS A SELF SACRIFICING DUMBASS. NO IM NOT READY GENOS YOU DOOF LISTEN TO KUSENO LISTEN TO HIM 

oh no 

oh no

im crying oh no

this animation is beautiful first of all and the music like im just here this is where I’m at and I’m crying oh no 

He’s an angel. A literal angel. Look at that and tell me he doesn’t look like a fucking angel in the sky with the rays of light casting shadows around him. 

Genos you are too good and pure for this world but that DOESNT MEAN TRY TO GET YOURSELF KILLED 

Shit they really made it look like he was gonna self destruct there for a second which MADE HIS LAST STAND EVEN MORE INTENSE OH MY GOD SWEETHEART Y’all ever get into a show because you keep seeing one character that catches your interest, and you keep seeing them pop up on your dash or wherever until you finally decide ‘well fuckit, this is the asshole that’s gonna get me to finally watch the show’, cause you’re already invested in them anyway? Genos did that for me with OPM. If this fool didn’t exist Who knows how long it would’ve taken me to get to watching OPM, if ever. And shit like this is why I STILL love him. I usually move on to new faves 90% of the time but nope. Genos earned his spot and is keeping it. Look at this insane shit. My heart. Uhg

Enough gushing asdfghjkl ok but Genos, you just went INTO THE DAMNED THING’s STOMACH,,,,, and you’re SURPRISED that there’s STOMACH ACID?? But real talk. What the EVERLONG FUCK is that thing’s insides made out of? How did it NOT DIE. the FuCK

asdfghjkl Phoenixman’s chuckle???? I love 

Oh Bang no, this is wrenching my heart like I know that he doesn’t actually use his power but its built up so intensely like,,, would he be ok if he did??? and actually more concerningly since it even WAS brought up that he has some hidden true strength, will we EVER get to see that??? Oh Shit well when they word it as “All the power left to me in this life” then yeah, that seems pretty life or death ish???? THE FUCK 

Oh thank god comedic relief is here I feel like i’m about to have a heart attack my chest is so tight hhhhhh ok breathe WAIT THIS ISNT COMEDIC THIS IS BADASS AS HELL JEEZUS witht he flashbacks to the Saitama encounter and THIS LOOK

The Anime is really fucking with the audience huh??? Making it look like KIngs about to throw hands like???????????? OH SHIT AND THIS MUSIC IS DOPE AS HELL TOO IM JUST laughing I have so much excessive energy right now???

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHZAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASDFGHJKLJHGFDSWERTGYHUIUJHGFDFGHJKJHGFRE THE FUKKIN SONG THEY BROUGHT IT BACK THE ULTIMATE SONG I GOT THREE NOTES IN JUST THREE NOTES AND I KNOW IM SCREAMING I GOTTA GO RUN BRB 

IM STILL SCREAMING FADFJSAGFJDSLKAHVFSKLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OUR MAIN MAN THERE HE IS THERE HE IS IM GONNA THROW UP 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

OH MY FUCK THATS WHAT THE OPENING SEQUENCE EXPLOSION WAS FROM OH GOD OH FUCK BEAUTIFUL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL OH FUCK OH GOD 

The REPRISE oh no oh NO OH NO OH NO NO ITS NOT OVER im not ready its not I cant no no no i dont want to press play cause if I press play it will end soon no no no Oh my god and at the end there isnt gonna be a title card for the next episode because THERE IS NO NEXT EPISODE no non o nonononon on on on ono no no no 

NO 

HEY IVE BEEN RIPPED OFF. WHERES THE FACE WITH HIS HAIR BLOWN BACK??? ASDFJKL fine I cant even be mad everything else was tooo  ofdbghjfshkggfhsjgbfhjka

KING WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT REACTION ASDFGHJKL W H A T 

WAIT THEY ARE DOING THE OPENING THEME AT THE END NO I CANT HANDLE SEEING EVERYOONE NOW OF ALL TIMES GOD DAMNIT WHY ok yknow what. I knew it would be king. I dont know how but i did 

Wha

wh

fkin cliffhanger no please no 

I.. I’m kind of at a loss for words. I’m. That’s it, huh? It’s really over. It doesn’t FEEL over. There’s so much unfinished business. Well, the only way to really neatly wrap everything up as neatly as S1 did would have been to get ALL THE WAY through the Garou arc, which obviously wasn’t going to happen, but this is not a great spot to leave off if we’re going to endure another few years hiatus. My hope is that, with biweekley manga updates, we should wrap up the Monster Association/Garou stuff (assuming it doesn’t diverge from the web comic too much) some time next year, and I’m HOPING that s3 is already being planned accordingly along side manga publications. So MAYBE it will at least be announced around that time 2020. That’s my wishful thinking at least. I don’t think I can survive 3 years. anyway

You could really tell JC Staff poured their hearts and souls into these last 2 episodes. Absolutely gorgeous, paced well, so completely satisfying and making every second of s2 worth while. For me, at least. I’ve already seen people still complaining and I’m just sorry they didn’t have as much fun as I did. 

Seriously, thank each and every one of you guys. This has been a wild ride, I’ve barely had this blog a few weeks before season 2 started airing (and honestly just got into opm maybe a month before that?), so I owe a lot of the success on the blog to the anime I bet. This was the first series I’ve never tried live bogging, and I honestly can’t believe that they were as popular as they were? Especially since I never have any idea what I’m doing but yall listen to me ramble anyway?? Yall are crazy thank you so so so much. Now my tuesdays are gonna feel really empty… next week is gonna be weird as hell. Though I’m gonna get mad nostalgic good vibes rewatching this season in the future in no small part from sharing my experience with everyone who's stuck around. I can’t say see yall next week this time, but, see you next season whenever it may be for sure.

[witchymarvelspacecase]

Spread Your Wings: Pt. 10: Turbulence Ahead

Summary: Reader is a HYDRA experiment (like the Maximoffs, but not voluntary) who grows wings (like Angel from X-Men). She escapes, and is now trying to rescue and prevent further kidnappings and experiments.

Word Count: ~2300

Warnings: Mostly, nothing. Some fluff, discovery of feelings, and a little bit of a cliffhanger at the end

A/N: Send all the love to the bestest best person ever: @writingwithadinosaur​

Spread Your Wings Masterlist

You woke early the next morning. You didn’t tend to sleep well after a nightmare, usually giving up on sleep entirely. Having not been around the compound much in the few days you’d stayed, you weren’t sure about the team’s schedules, but you wanted to try and do something for them. Breakfast seemed like a good idea. Assuming they did that sort of thing. No matter how many times Bucky told you that you weren’t bothering the team, you really had a hard time believing it was true. As such, you figured the least you could do was attempt to make breakfast. Nothing fancy, you weren’t all that skilled or anything, but you were good at a few things.

The kitchen was a little daunting; all the shiny appliances, and tools were way beyond what you were used to using. At least the space was large, since your wings were going to be out for the duration. You carefully maneuvered through the space, pulling out the ingredients and supplies you would need. After a few minutes of trying, you caved and asked FRIDAY for help with the oven and stove. She and HERMES helped you use the appliances and time all your cooking properly. You were fairly certain it was the smell of bacon and coffee that had the entire team out of their rooms, but when they all piled their pates full of food and were making happy noises while they ate, you just smiled.

The breakfast casserole you made wasn’t difficult to throw together, nor were the biscuits and bacon, but every team member seemed shocked when they realized you’d been the cook.

“So, who woke up early and cooked?” Sam asked

“And why?” Natasha added. “Anyone feeling guilty for something?”

Feeling embarrassed, you said, “I cooked.” When everyone turned to you, with shock on their faces, you looked down. “I just-- I was already awake, and I figured I could do something to make up for the trouble I’ve caused so-“

“You haven’t caused any trouble,” Bucky said, sounding a little exasperated, but before he could continue, Tony interrupted.

“But, if this is how you apologize for making trouble, please feel free to make all the trouble you like.”

“I’d be careful making a statement like that, Stark,” Clint said with a grin. “Y/N and I haven’t had a lot of time together yet, but I think she and I could cause more trouble than you could handle.”

That had everyone laughing, you smiled, not totally sure whether or not you should be laughing; breakfast went by in a happy blur after that.

When you started to head back into the kitchen, Wanda and Vision cut you off. They insisted that since you had cooked, they would clean. Though you were confused, you allowed yourself to be ushered out of the kitchen. Then you were left wondering what to do with yourself, but that only lasted a few moments.

Natasha appeared at your shoulder and pulled you with her to the gym. You wouldn’t be able to do anything strenuous since your wings were still healing, but Natasha insisted that yoga would do you some good. You’d done very little yoga before, since it wasn’t exactly on HYDRA’s training priority list. It mostly looked like fancy stretches, but once you were doing it, you were sweating and your muscles were aching.

“This is a hell of a lot harder than it looks,” you panted, trying to hold a tree pose that had gone wobbly.

Natasha chuckled, “It takes practice, and even then some people just aren’t built for it. But I think, after a while, your body is gonna protest not being used. This is the most low impact thing I could think of, short of swimming. I figured that would be problematic with your wings.”

“Actually, I can swim with them. It’s not pretty, but I can do it.” HYDRA couldn’t have their Angel stymied by a lake or river after all. “The wings are mostly buoyant, and the feathers are pretty waterproof, so they don’t drag me down. I like swimming without them, but I can make do with them as well.”

Natasha nodded her head approvingly and lead you through several more poses, until you felt like your body would give out. You didn’t stop, and you didn’t say anything, but you were in pain. You controlled your breathing and fought through, but tears were prickling the corners of your eyes. Natasha was still moving, so you would move.

Show no weakness. Weakness gets you killed. Weakness gets you tortured. Lessons that you’d learned the hard way in the halls of HYDRA were still loud in your mind. So loud in fact that you didn’t hear the footsteps approaching you. You didn’t notice that Natasha had moved until your felt her push you, knocking you out of your pose and onto your ass.

“What are you doing? Do you want to hurt yourself?” she shouted. You were disoriented and breathing heavily. You couldn’t figure out why she was yelling.

“What are you-”

“You were going to pull a muscle holding a pose too long!”

“But, you were-”

“Yes, I was. However, I am used to doing this. My body is used to this. Yours is not. You’re already injured, why would you keep-” She paused. Shaking her head a little she spoke again. “You don’t need to push through things if they’re hurting you. This isn’t HYDRA.”

“I wasn’t- I mean, I don’t think you are. I guess I just don’t know…”

“When to stop,” Natasha supplied, moving to sit next to you on the floor. “It’ll take adjusting to; being in a place where we you aren’t tortured.” She spoke with the voice of experience. You didn’t know her whole story, you doubted anyone did, maybe not even her, but she did understand.

That was the moment when Bucky, Steve, and Sam entered the gym. You could feel questions in their gazes, but none of them said a word. Simple nods of acknowledgement were exchanged, and then light conversation began. Individual routines were started and finished, and then sparring began.

You were not allowed to join, even though you asked. You promised to keep your movements slow, but Natasha shot you down regardless of your reasons. Which left you sitting on the sidelines watching as she and Steve faced off. It was amazing to watch. The two of them were so athletic, their movements so fast. They had no fear of hurting one another, knowing each other to such a degree that they were attuned to the other’s movements. You were almost in awe of them as Bucky sat next to you.

“Every time he does this, all I can think of is how he used to get into all those ridiculous fights when we were younger. He was so small, and sick all the time, but he would fight anyone. It was like he was looking for excuses to fight,” he said with a smile.

“He’s not very small now, and I don’t think he can get sick,” you replied.

“New look, same attitude,” Bucky grumbled, causing you to laugh. It startled Bucky. He was fairly certain he hadn’t heard you laugh before.

He’d only known you for about a week, but he’d never heard you laugh before that moment. It immediately became his favorite sound. One that he wanted to draw from you again and again.

That was a new feeling. Even since he’d been with the Avengers, since breaking the HYDRA conditioning, Bucky hadn’t really had feelings, beyond the team. He cared for his teammates, he cared for Steve on a deeper level than most, but this wasn’t the same. Something that Steve, Sam, Clint, and Tony had been sure to point out just a little while ago.

As soon as Y/N and Natasha were out of ear shot, all remaining members of the team fell on Bucky.

“What?” Bucky had asked, uncomfortable with everyone in his personal space all of a sudden.

“Don’t give me that, Tin Man,” Sam said, “You know ‘what’.”

“No, I don’t. If I did, I wouldn’t have asked, Bird Boy.”

“Wilson is referring to the tension between you and our new feathered friend,” Tony said as he moved to sit across from Bucky at the table. When Bucky scowled, he continued, “I know you’re old, and have probably still got some ice crystals in your brain, but I refuse to believe you don’t know what I’m talking about.”

“Well, I don’t.” Bucky was feeling defensive. “Tension” implied that something was wrong, that he and Y/N weren’t getting along. He’d thought they were doing well, or he’d hoped they had been. Now he was worried. “What tension? Is she mad at me?”

“Not that kind of tension, Barnes,” Clint supplied, patting Bucky’s shoulder as he passed him, moving to sit a few chairs down.

Bucky was still confused when Sam spoke up.

“Let’s try comin’ at this a different way. How do you feel about her”

“What’d’ya mean? I like spending time with her. She’s honest, and kind. She’s been through some similar shit, so we understand each other.”

“Didn’t answer my question though,” Sam said, meeting Bucky’s gaze directly. “How do you feel when she’s around?”

“I feel… calm. Relaxed. Like I can take a deep breath, and my mind is clear.”

“You feel comfortable around her?” Sam asked.

“Yeah,” Bucky responded, warily.

“What about when she’s not around?” Steve asked.

“I worry about her, I guess. Same as any of you idiots. If I can’t see you, who knows what kind of shit you’ll get up to.”

“But you’ve only known her a week, Barnes,” Clint said. “It took you months to give even half a shit about most of the team.”

“True, true. In a week, you care a lot more about Y/N than you did about any of us,” Tony nodded.

Bucky wanted to argue, but found that he couldn’t. They weren’t wrong; it had taken him a lot more time to develop any kind of relationship with the Avengers than it had with Y/N.

“The situations were pretty different, but I have to agree,” Wanda entered the room, and stood beside Clint’s chair. “The question is ‘why’. Why would you become attached to Y/N so quickly?”

At this point, Bucky knew where the questions were aiming, but he would be damned if he were going to say what they wanted him to.

“Cause she’s like me. We understand each other. No one else here has the same background as me, but her’s is the closest, so it makes sense we would be close.” Bucky’s reasoning was sound. He’d spoken in a calm, rational tone. It was a pretty reasonable statement, even if it was complete bullshit.

He cared about Y/N. More so than most of his teammates. Yes, some of that was due to their shared experiences. He hadn’t been lying when he said they shared an understanding that no one else did, but his feelings weren’t limited to that.

She defended children she’d never met, people she didn’t know. She protected people to whom she owed nothing. She stood in front of bullets for them. She’d risked incredibly painful seizures to help Tony with his suit. She taken countless knives and blows to protect the compound and Clint and Bruce when she’d know them only a few days.

She’d wrapped Bucky in her wings to protect him on the roof. She had willingly exposed her weakest point, to protect a man who she barely knew. Who, up until a day before, she had only known as the Winter Soldier.

Yes, he cared for her. He liked her. He wouldn’t say he loved her, he couldn’t know that yet, but a part of him wanted to say it. It certainly felt like love.

Bucky had been zoned out for a moment, in his head. When he came back, all eyes were on him again. And everyone had an odd expression on their faces.

Clint’s expression was especially ridiculous. Bucky was pretty sure this was what Shuri had called “heart eyes”. He sorta wanted to slap him, but chose not to.

Then he was sitting there, on the gym floor, watching Steve and Natasha spar, and listening to you laugh. A smile crossed his face. He didn’t say anything aloud, but in his head the team’s words from earlier circled around. Maybe he could say he loved you already…

“Hey,” Sam called from the door, getting everyone’s attention. “You’re gonna want to see this.”

...

With everyone gathered in the conference room, Tony pulled up a display of several files, and began explaining what was on them.

“Wait,” you said, slightly confused. “I thought you said the mission was a fake.”

“It was, but you didn’t think I went into a HYDRA facility and came out empty handed, did you?” Natasha grinned. You smiled back. You had actually assumed that, silly of you.

As Tony talked, you looked at the files displayed in front of you. Several flipped by before you stopped him.

“I know that code.”

“What code?” Steve asked coming to stand behind where you were seated at the table.

“That sting of numbers up at the top left,” you said, pointing to the numbers.

“I assumed that was a case number or something,” Tony said, enlarging the file.

“Kinda, the last 4 are an agent number, the first 2 are a location, the 6 in the middle are a date.”

“Okay, so which agent, went on what mission for HYDRA in Russia, in April, two years ago,” Natasha asked

“I did. I was sent on a recon mission, and it went badly. Really badly.”

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