#now and forever in perpetuity

[desirableendings]

So…… SAG-AFTRA next?

[thatneoncrisis]

my sabbatical from homestuck has been really interesting in terms of like. the fandom racism i encounter and how i think about it now. like duh i was a teenager the entire time homestuck was the only thing i thought about literally ages 13-18.

but uh in dealing with the locked tomb i dont have to get hit with a mallet made of passive antiblack rhetoric 30% of the time i engage with it. because there are zero fucking black people in that story. and thats not a good or bad thing there is no obligation to include them. i think people get hung up on a nebulous platonic ideal of representation where every single minority gets equal screentime fiction.

tlt doesnt have black people the way it doesnt really have like, nonbinary people. it has that one priest in book one who didnt say a goddamn word, a character in book three who actively preferred she/her bc they/them was their job title, and a boy and a girl who merged into a new person. none of these examples are like, exciting ore meaningful explorations of genderqueerness (paul could be Something in book 4 but im not handing out points to a book that doesnt exist yet and its still ostensibly a cis boy and cis girl merging to become another Thing)

anyway uh its been nice not having to like idk. contend with the expected level of weirdness about black people that was commonplace of online art from the early 2010s in this new space. the discussion about the role of race in those books will probably never have characters as egregious as gamzee or hic which is nice you dont have to reconcile the insanely mean spirited nature of their existence as concocted by an irony poisoned white guy thats neat

[oldbutchdanielcraig]

What's the thing with the glasses in Queer? The way Eugene put his on the bed and they fall when he's in the throes of passion. I feel like there's a thing.

okay I Personally feel like it's just Luca's filmmaking style because one thing about that guy is he looooooves to cut away to an environmental detail during a sex scene. and I can't blame him! I think focusing on details of the environment and the objects surrounding makes the whole thing more lush and intimate and interesting. there's even a brief cutaway when he takes Lee's glasses off and tosses them to the side.

in this first scene it happens kind of after the understanding that they're going to have sex/Allerton starts undressing, but I also think it's establishing this pattern of. like basically Allerton has these really tiny little tells of consent and encouragement. ie in the scene where they're reading at sunset Lee is already kind of restless and Allerton closes his book first to indicate it's okay for Lee to make a pass at him. especially because we don't get a direct look into Allerton's mind and the movie has to walk this balance between showing reciprocity but ultimately leaving the audience with Lee's feeling that Allerton didn't reciprocate it's like. soooo much of it is told in these little moments. that's not directly connected to the scene you're talking about but I feel like those little moments permeate the movie's atmosphere in a way I really like. so that's what I feel like the thing is! but also would be curious to know if anybody else has a take.

[chicago-geniza]

Conquering the Fear of Purim (it's an echolalic tag but it is also quite literal and superstitious) by assigning myself all the tasks I've been procrastinating on for the past month-ish. Apprehensive about the state of the world, apprehensive about the lunar eclipse as an omen because I am, as noted above, superstitious to a fault. Friend asked if I had any Purim plans and I said something insane about fear of celebrations attracting the evil eye under a blood moon (like in Tog un nakht by S. An-sky) (too much of my warped cosmology was influenced by S. An-sky).

[patchworkcuddlebug]

Eclipse

(A Night & Day story)

"It is a pleasure to meet you." The Night Witch reclines at her desk, confidently gesturing to the rest of her study. "Please, have a seat wherever you'd like."

The Day Witch sees a room that is extravagantly themed. The walls to either side of them are covered in carefully painted bookshelves, adorned in their entirety with untouched books, their spines all gamuts of blacks and dark blues. The curtains behind her had tiny holes poked through, in a pattern careful not to have two of them aligned, warping the daylight into an impression of the night sky. The rug is an art piece, a depiction of van Goph's Starry Night woven across the room from corner to corner.

In front of her desk is a folding chair.

The Day Witch struggles to comfortably orient her body into the chair. It is at the same time too rigid and too feeble, threateningly wobbling with every shift.

"Good, now lets get started." The Night Witch plants an elbow on her desk, resting her head on a supportive arm.

Everything is as expected. The Day Witch's coven seeks to have more hours in their night, as they are usually too busy to meet as often as they'd like. In exchange, The Night Witch asks for the power of sunlight, to make the moon grow brighter if she so chooses.

In the midst of their bartering, a doll cautiously opens the door to its Miss's room. The Day Witch recognizes it, she passed it in the hallway. Has it been waiting outside the door this whole time? "This one is sorry to interrupt, but it can provide refreshments if-"

"Bring the refreshments, Luna." The Night Witch commanded, stern and without mercy. "You are an object of service, don't waste our time by asking permission." The doll curtsies as quickly as it can before shutting the door as gently as it can.

"Those things are so damn hard to train." She shakes her head, giving The Day Witch a side-eyed glance. "Would you believe that one's the best I have?"

"I wouldn't know." The Day Witch shrugs, just enough to let a hint of superiority finally shine through. "It sure seems fine enough."

"I suppose you'll just have to figure it out when you start training them yourself. If you turn your back, they always seem to make noises among themselves, always doing something between chores." She leans back in her chair, the excessive cushioning making a muted pomf. "If I wanted to put up with their idle pitter-patter I would work with mortals."

The Day Witch leans back to match, her back straining against unsupported rigidity. "I... can't say I've ever heard a witch speak so impersonally of her dolls, Night." She looks back to the study's door, a tall and extravagantly designed barricade between them and the rest of the manor. "How exactly do you train them, then?"

"Keeping them busy is mandatory." She speaks with a casual confidence. "That way there's less of a chance for them to... develop. But if one does step out of line, simply destroy whatever humanity they've built." She motions with her hand, pulling it into a fist as if crushing something.

The Day Witch chooses her next words carefully. "I see. How... involved, you must be." She leans forward, balancing on the chair's unsturdy legs, to reach across the desk for the enchanted scroll of binding.

The Night Witch reclines with her hands behind her head, smirking. Just as the signature begins to glow with an ethereal finish, Luna returns, with only the Day Witch to acknowledge the sound of the door.

The Night Witch slides the signed papyrus back across her desk. "This is why you don't waste time, Luna. We've already finished with our meeting, and our guest was just leaving." As she scoffs in disappointment, the doll does its best to bow its head without losing the tray's balance. "Yes Miss, this one is very sorry Miss."

The doll retreats before The Day Witch could sample the snacks it brought. "Thank you anyway, Luna!" She calls out before it can leave, trying to impart an encouraging tone.

Luna stops in its tracks, turning to The Day Witch with its mouth agape. It stays like that for only a moment before it finds itself speaking again. Even through its reservation, there was a hint of unsure surprise. "...yes, Miss."

The Night Witch rolled her eyes, ashamed to see an adult playing with toys.

. . . . .

Luna jolts itself from stillness. It tightens its grip on the broom handle, focusing tired eyes onto the tile of the manor's entrance. Surely, this time, it won't miss a spot.

It suppresses a flinch as The Day Witch closes the door behind herself just a little too hard, groaning as she rubs her eyes. In a moment, she collects herself, catching the doll's eye as she glides down the stairway.

She hesitates in the foyer, taking a moment to watch the doll as it tends to its task. Her body is pulled in, afraid to take up space. It moves like a wounded deer, erratic twitching complimenting every movement and smothering the elegance it strives for.

The witch can't help but place a worried hand to her chest.

"Do you like your life, Luna?"

"Yes, miss." It mumbles, not looking up from its work.

The witch looks around her before leaning in conspiratorially. "You can tell me, really. Dolls aren't meant to be treated like this."

The sweeping slows, the doll's head still down.

"Just say the word, and I can take you away. I can see your pain, Luna, I want to help you."

The doll's frozen in place. It wants to leave, more than anything, but it's given up so long ago. It looks back to the entrance to its Miss's study, the door shut tight.

"Are you thinking about her, Luna? What she wants?" She interrupted with a deep compassion. "You don't have to, you're the only one I'm asking: do you enjoy your life, as it is?"

Luna looked at the witch in front of her. Her smile was deeply kind, nothing like the paltry niceties spared for it by Miss.

Luna looked to its side, at the exit, unlocked just feet away.

It couldn't spare the energy for suspicions. It was so, so tired.

"...please, Miss. Take this one away."

[tearlessrain]

seriously can catastrophes stop happening for five minutes my brain is already fried from the ones we're already experiencing

[sundrykitsch]

but what if they were iced cream!!!

[lies]

Sometimes when I'm birdwatching

[leonardalphachurch]

i cannot fucking wait for this show to be over so i never have to think about this shitty company ever again

[citrine-elephant]

the fact that the roomie is gone for the weekend and i haven't had a single panic attack today. actually, i've felt pretty okay. normal.

the LACK of dissociation is fucking insane.

anyways, found the source of my flashbacks lol

and oh baby, when i really get my shit back together enough... this will be wonderful fuel for the flames for whump nonsense against that poor blonde man. <3 maybe.... just maybe, he'll get a hell of a lot of comfort.

[waterfall-ambience]

PERPETUA ARC 2 SCRIPT IS DONE!!

[gxlden-angels]

What if Hell was just a big pot of perpetual stew? Oh you killed 5 people in cold blood then stole candy from babies? Sorry you're going in the Forever Sin Soup

[aeolianblues]

The duality of life is so crazy. I was back on campus today, I’ve been feeling pretty ancient all week because it’s been frosh week which means I have to deal with the fact that this year’s class graduates in 2028 (that’s not a real year) and were born in 2006 and 07, years that I can remember writing in the margins of a school notebook.

I'm walking around campus for the beginning-of-year campus clubs fair, and it's all, people love me, people think I'm cool, people are coming up to me saying they like my fit, in the meanwhile I'm internally getting jumpscared thinking wait; these incredibly well-dressed kids are approaching me whilst I'm shovelling fucking peanuts into my mouth out of a bag in my tote bag

There comes a point when you officially get Older and become invisible to cool young tiny things, and then you can do whatever you want because they sort of stop noticing you. I've been feeling a bit old this week, I'm at Big Person work, everyone around me is like half a decade younger, we're at quite different stages in our lives, I've been thinking. But I also have the sort of face that would pass me for a 19 y/o clearly, because these kids all have pulled me in like I'm some sort of counter culture bohemian trendsetting cool kid, and whatever the hell that means, it's definitely instantly made me feel a lot younger and connected with 'the youth'

[thedreadvampy]

wait no sorry one last quick immature bitch moment

the more I find out about how this person has behaved in both this relationship and a bunch of other relationships, the funnier it is how much they like to set themselves up as a like. authority on ethical nonmonogamy and consent and conflict management.

when like. they constantly sexually assault people to prove a point, pressure their partners into shit, got into enm by cheating on 3 people concurrently, and literally every time a problem in their orbit is brought up it gets explained away without anything actually changing, or they cry about how hard it is until everyone says OH NO IT'S FINE DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

you know. very "call yourself a Community Organizer even though you're not on speaking terms with your roommates" energies.

[beetheyapper]

one thing about me is that i live in a perpetual state of longing for the next stage. i'm never satistfied with the season- i yearn for it for months and then wish it away once it arrives. i turn these ages i've always idolized and spend them idolizing the future.

it's a habit i truly resent, but i cannot help but to fall back into it. i can only wish that one day i'll be able to stop and take in the bliss of what i'm surrounded by--i try whenever i catch myself in the same cycle of longing, but it always lasts only a day or two before i'm back at it.

[sableprince]

i really want to sit down and make a proper Real lore doc for these goobers and not just the paragraphs of shtuff from whatever-ago, but like....... (buries myself underneath the dirt) lazy!!!!!!!