#now after a while i dont feel that as much
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slumber party
bestfriend!abby x bestfriend!reader
summary: your best friend abby calls you up for a sleepover after having not spent time together in months.
clingy!abby, friends to lovers, college!abby, college!reader, fem!reader, y/n used once, medicalstudent!abby, fluff, minor angst but mostly it's one sided, no specific descriptions of reader other than them being shorter than abby and having their hair uncovered at night
wc: 3.2k
Abigail anderson. Your best friend since primary school. Your longest friendship. Your longest crush.
You hadn't always had a crush on Abby. Sure you loved her, but only really as a friend. That was, until junior year of highschool when her body had started noticeably changing. She started working out more, her biceps bulging through every tshirt. She had a growth spurt too, now almost towering over you. You yourself weren't that short but her stature made for a quite prominent difference.
You weren't usually shallow, But c'mon. Abby was already one of the best persons in your life; smart, caring, trustworthy. Turns out you only needed that little extra push to transform your platonic admiration for her into something else. This had been going on for 5 years and you had zero intention of ever letting her know.
It would just be way too risky, confessing something like that. What if she wanted to cut you off? What if she was disgusted by your feelings? What if being friends for so long bit you in the ass and she saw you more like a sister?!
And plus, dropping something like that on her when she was already swept up by her studies to become a doctor most of the time, would be horrible. You figured, you just had to let the feelings die. Of course it was taking much longer than expected, going onto the 6th year of having said crush, but it just had to be done.
So when Abby told you her dad would be out of town and that you should sleep over, you found yourself at a crossroads. You could go, and spend time with your best friend and it be a great night. Or you could go and be so incredibly uncomfortable hiding your feelings.
"Come on, we haven't had a slumber party in ages. I feel like we're always so busy we barely have any time for each other anymore. which is crazy for us!" Abby suggested as she spoke to you over the phone.
Yeah, totally not because I've been purposefully distancing myself to get rid of this festering crush.
You responded, "I mean , don't you have studying to do? I'll just distract you."
"Dont worry about me. Plus, you wouldn't distract me, you never do." She replied with her honey-like voice that would never cease to make you melt.
"We both know that's a lie but sure." You gave in. It was your best friend. Plus you really hadn't had time together in the past few months.
It was just a sleepover with Abby. All you had to do was act normal and it'd be fine. It's just Abby.
Abby answered the door when you arrived, immediately pulling you in a for a hug, stating how much she missed you and how long its been since you properly hung out, just the two of you.
"This place hasn't changed at all." you say, looking around at the familiar picture frames of her and her dad still plastered in their same spots on the walls.
"Yeah, we're both pretty busy all the time so," she trailed off. "You want anything to drink?" she asked, grabbing your overnight bag from you and heading to place it in her room.
"Nah, but I'll help myself, it's fine." you respond, following her into her room.
Her room has seen a few minor changes, none of which younwerent aware of though. It might have been years since you actually set foot into her bedroom, but you still saw it regularly. During your as frequent as possible facetime calls, you got to see through her camera the little changes she'd make to her walls. Even got to help in the decision process sometimes.
"It's been a while since you've been in here huh?" she asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, eyeing you as you peered at all her stuff.
"Yeah, cant believe how long it's been." you replied, distracted by the sheer amount of personality visible on her walls and desk.
Her college textbooks neatly tucked away on the side of her desk in a stack, near her pencil holder that held various shades of highlighters and pens. There were multiple pictures on the wall directly above her desk, along with many post it's of medical terms. Most of them were of her and her dad, or of her dog froma. few years ago, Alice. But right in the middle there were two of you and her. One from when you were much younger, closer to the time you first became friends and the other from your highschool graduation.
You made a mental note to take more pictures with her once you overcame your crush.
You looked around for a moment more, realising there was no mattress or anything on the ground. Sure, you slept on the same bed together before but that was when you were kids. Years ago.
"Soooo should I sleep on the couch or the ground?" you asked jokingly, secretly hoping she'd actually have an answer.
She laughed, "Oh come on, it might've been some time but we're not strangers." she joked with her beautiful smile.
Fuck.
You chuckled at this, hoping it seemed genuine and didn't expose the fear you felt of being so close to her for so long. Abby, however, noticed your shift in energy. Choosing not to say anything, she promptly changed the subject.
"Alright, what's for dinner?" she got up from the bed and led you both back out to the living room. Grabbing the TV remote, she put on one of her rnb playlists. "I was thinking we could cook something, chat and catch up for a bit then maybe watch a movie or something."
Gosh, she'd really thought this through. "Abby I hope that you don't have outstanding assignments due while you're doing all of this," you scolded her, already getting back into the groove of things.
She sighed, "Uugggghhh no, mom. I'll have you know that I am actually very ahead of my assignments. And even if I were behind, I'd still wanna be hanging with you tonight."
You looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she came around your frame to hug you from behind. You forgot how physically affectionate she was, and how much you missed it. You tried to not lean into it too much. The last thing you needed right now was to give yourself any false hope.
"I just- I really need this right now," she said with a sigh that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, dropping her head on your shoulder. You were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings that you hadn't even stopped to think about how stressful school and everything must be for her. You turned your head slightly towards her, faces mere inches away from each other.
"I really need this right now and you're so fucking tense that I can't even give you a proper hug!" she stated, attacking you with tickles.
You screamed in laughter as she jammed her fingers into your sides, not giving up her mission to make you laugh. You tried running away but her grip on you was too strong, as expected of abby. Your attempts, however, did lead you to toppling over the couch, with her on top of you. She continued tickling you as you laughed, both smiling wide.
Through squeals and breaths you tried to reason it her, "Okay! Okay stop."
"There she is," she smiled, finally halting the tickles. You looked up at her, trying so very hard not to grab her by the collar and kiss her stupid.
She sat up, straddling your hips as you still lay on the couch, breathing heavily. You raised your head slightly, looking her directly in the eyes.
Gathering her breath, she started, "Okay. Now tell me, what's going on with you?" she asked, pushing her flyaways behind her ears.
Confused you asked, "Me?"
"Mhmm, you've been all distant and weird around me for quite some time." she supplied, hands resting on her thighs. her big, muscular thighs. snap out of it!
Shit, she noticed. "I-" you didn't know how to respond.
Worry evident on her face she continued, "Did I do something? Because if I did you gotta let me know, i- I've been so focused on school and-"
"No! no, n- it's not anything you've done. don't worry" you answered, "I guess I've just been feeling a bit...." you pulled something out your ass quickly, "lonely, lately."
Not entirely wrong. It was gonna have to work.
"I'm sorry." she replied, empathy clear on her face as she leaned forward to hold your arms. "But hey, I guess this came at the perfect time then huh? You won't be lonely tonight, I'll make sure of it. 'kay? Now let's go make something and you have to tell me everything that's been going on with you." she pat your thighs before coming off. Her weight would be a missed presence on your lap.
The music played at a comfortable volume as you two easily maneuver around the kitchen, cooking up a simple pasta dish. You talked about anything and everything, fully catching each other up on what the other had missed in their lives. In all your attempts at dodging her and keeping your distance, you'd forgotten why you two were best friends in the first place.
Abby was easy to talk to. She always knew how to cheer you up and how to comfort you. As did you to her. When you would hang out, there was always fun to ensue. Which is exactly why you fell in love with her. But as you were here, having chopped and prepared all the other ingredients and awaiting the water to boil, dancing and laughing around the kitchen hand in hand with Abby, you decided that just for tonight you could forget the complications that having a crush on Abby would cause and just lean into your best friend whom you missed so much.
When the meal was done, you both retreated to the couch where you sat closely next to each other in search of a movie to watch.
"I feel like nothing looks good," Abby stated, as she kept scrolling through the site.
"We could always hate watch something?" you suggested cheekliy, knowing that Abby was already not a big movie person and that it would be an utter waste of time for her to watch one that wasn't good.
"Ha ha very funny." she deadpanned, "What's that one you always wanted to watch when we were younger? Let's just watch that."
"Are you sure? Because you'll have to put up with me quoting almost the entire thing. And singing all of the songs." you weren't really asking seeing as she had already found the film, Tangled, and was ready to press play.
"I'll be fine pumpkin."
She hadn't called you that name in years. It was nice to hear it again.
As promised you quoted almost all of the movie, under your breath though, so as to not annoy Abby too much. It was more like a light whisper/lipsync. Unbeknownst to you, while you were thoroughly enjoying what was one of your favourite movies ever, Abby hadn't even been paying attention. She'd been looking at you for the majority of the film's runtime, only looking at the screen when you turned to look at her and found her not focused enough.
"You're missing important character development here Abby, he bought the apples for maximus!"
After the movie you both cleaned the dishes, then went to her room.
Another thing you forgot to consider in all your rumination, showering. You and Abby weren't the shower together type of best friends but it was definitely a 'not a big deal if we see each other naked' type of deal. So you'd often change into and out of clothes in front of each other with no problems. If the whole night so far wasn't gonna do it, this would be the fucking nail in the coffin. Abby, changing out of her clothes, right in front of you.
You didn't want to come off as suspicious by clearly turning away but you also didn't want to feel like a perv and look at her in her underwear, knowing full well that you wished it were under different circumstances. So you opted for casually directing your attention to somewhere else in the room as she stood naked a few feet in front of you.
"I guess I'll go in first," she annouced grabbing her towel and leaving the room.
You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding as you quickly undressed and wrapped your towel around your body. You sat at the edge of her bed and waited for her to be done as you tried to calm your nerves.
It absolutely did not help your nerves when she stepped out of the bathroom and into her room, glistening from the shower. Muscles on full display, unbraided hair cascading down her back while some stuck to her face. She looked like a goddess. You quickly got up and headed into the shower, leaving her in her room to change.
It was like the more you decided to just let go of your feelings for Abby, the more she'd do things that made you fall for her all over again. You ended up taking way longer than usual in the bathroom, mustering up the courage to face her again while also trying to steady your heart rate.
Finally exiting the bathroom, changed and ready for bed, she closed the door, took off her bedroom light and hopped in right next to you. At first you both stayed silent, staring up at the ceiling, before she broke the silence.
"I'm really glad you were able to come," she expressed, turning on her side to face you.
You mimicked her position, scooting a little closer to the middle of the bed. "I'm glad I did."
You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, really taking the other in, before you spoke up again.
"You said you really needed this, what's going on with you?" you asked, poking a finger into her arm.
She looked down at where you touched her arm then back up into your eyes. Sighing with a smile, she responded, "School has been kinda stressful I guess, but to tell you the truth, I just missed you." She scooted closer to you, moving her hand from under her head to caressing yours.
No. She meant that as a friend of course. Do not get your hopes up again.
"You're tense again." she pointed out, hand still laying on your hair.
God, why was she so perceptive?!
"No I'm not?" you scoffed. Your deflection did not work on her.
"Yes you are. You've got that look in your eye again," she continued caressing your hair, "What's going on up there?"
You sat up, pulling away from her touch. She followed you in sitting upright on the bed.
You knew that lying about everything being fine would not work any better than it's been all day, so you figured you'd at least give her something.
"If I tell you, you might not want to hang around me anymore."
She looked at you incredulously. How could you ever think something like that? "Did you kill someone or something?" she teasingly suggested with a laugh, that being the only plausible situation in her head. She didn't miss how you looked at her, amusement absent on your face.
"Sorry, I just- no matter what it is, I won't stop being your friend y/n." she said seriously, one hand moving to touch your thigh.
"Please don't, because if I tell you and you really don't wanna be associated with me anymore it'll just hurt more." you barely got out, eyes becoming teary. You knew you were scared of something like this happening. Your increasing heartbeat and glassy eyes further proved just how terrified this made you.
If Abby wasn't worried before, she certainly was now. "Hey, I get to decide who stays in my circle and who doesn't okay?" She cradled your face.
You shook your head, still not giving into confession. "Everything's gonna change and I don't want it to so let's just forget it."
"If things have to change...then I'll just make sure it's for the better." How could she be so reassuring without even knowing what was going to be said? She held your chin, tilting your head to look at her.
With a sigh, you finally gave in, "I feel so much..love.....for you..since high school. And it's only gotten worse recently. I swear I've tried making it go away, I've tried so much. I don't wanna be a bad friend by springing this on you but i also know that trying and failing to hide it isnt doing me any favours either so.." Tears were streaming down your face, your sniffles becoming the most prominent sound in the room.
"And now because you know, things are never gonna be the same and I just wish I'd been better at hiding it. I wish I never had these feelings in the first place. Then this wouldn't be happening and I wouldn't have to lose my best friend right after we had so much fun together."
Abby was silent. Staring into your eyes, her expression unreadable. She looked down into her lap, a small smile growing on her lips, before looking back up at you.
She leaned forward till there was barely space in between the two of you. Abby glanced down at your lips then back up to your eyes, making it clear what she was referring to. "Can I?"
Your heart rate was through the roof. There's no way she wanted this too. "Are you not.. worried about how things are gonna be between us now?"
"I said I'd make sure the change was for the better, didn't I?"
"You can."
In what felt like zero time, Abby carefully crashed her lips onto yours. Her lips were soft, her touch gentle. It was exactly what you imagined this to be like.
Gently pulling away, she wiped your tears with her thumb, looking at you with so much love in her eyes you swore the rest of the world would now be void of it.
Through sniffles and smiles you apologized, "Sorry hah, I'm a mess."
"Did you really think I couldn't love you?" Abby asked, holding your face in her hands. "I've loved you before I even knew what love was, pumpkin."
Her efforts to wipe your tears were now fruitless, your eyes pouring out streams of emotion.
She pulled you in for a hug. This time, a proper one, without the weight of what could have been laying on your entire being. You shared one more kiss, Abby then kissing your forehead as you both lay down to finally sleep. A sleep void of worries and stress.
You were actually hers.
soooo sorry if that was basically 95% buildup for 5% payoff. I totally wrote this in a whim at late hours of the night. anyway, hope you enjoy. requests are open! to those whove requested, I am working on your stuff so have no fear :>
#abby anderson fluff#abby anderson#abby the last of us#abby x reader#abby tlou2#lesbian#abby anderson x reader
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Just had another Jimmy thought...
If Curly had a daughter he would definitely introduce Jimmy as an uncle of sorts... Cutting it short once shes of age Uncle Jimmy about to get a whole lot creepier.
First he pulls you on his lap while He and your dad Curly are watching football or something, and you feel something but you dont say anything... but your dad needed to run to the store to grab some more beer. -Cupcake anon
Your own age.
Uncle! Jimmy x Curly's Daughter! Reader.
warnings: age gap(reader is an adult),toxic relationship themes, jimmy is a major creep, non-consensual touching. curly is an oblivious single father.
a/n; cupcake anon, you're a fucking genius. love you for sharing this prompt with me,hope I was able to do it justice!
It wasn't fun being a well respected captain's daughter. Especially after your mom left, your dad would leave for shipments for months on end,and you had to spend a good chunk of your childhood with nannies rather than your parents.
But that was when he came along,Jimmy... Or Jim,as your dad would call him. He was your dad's closest friend since childhood,and now he was gonna be... Living with the two of you? Your dad said that it was due to the shortage of leases on the market currently,but you know damn well it was because that jimmy person was just a broke guy.
"hey,so you're the daughter I keep hearing my friend talk about,huh?".
"uh yeah,my name is y/n".
"y/n huh? well that's a pretty name for a pretty little girl".
you did think it was strange as to how,Jimmy... or well,uncle jimmy as your dad advised you to call him, was so Frank and open minded with you,but you realised that's just how men in his situation were. Open-minded,and careless.
Uncle jimmy... was an interesting man to say the least,you hadn't really had the luck of having any fun 'relatives' for that matter so you thought this was the best as it was gonna get. Jimmy would offer you cigarettes. Something that your father had clearly mentioned in front of him was off limits for you.
"C'mon aren't you a big girl now? some rules are meant to be broken y'know?
"but dad would kill me if he ever found out..."
"it's alright,it will be our little secret".
All in all you started warming up to him,you thought that hey,this guy is already down on his luck,and he's also so fun to be around! wouldn't hurt to be friendly with him.
It didn't matter how unnecessarily long his hugs were,or how suffocating they were. he would always hug you so tight that you had to physically wriggle your way out of his grasp. on some occasions you could've sworn you heard him say something under his breath.
It didn't matter how he would stare at you for long periods of time if the two of you were in the same room,you thought maybe it's just a middle aged man thing
It didn't matter how during road trips,he would sit in the backseat beside you instead of sitting beside his best friend in the front. How somehow his hands would always find it's way to be on your thigh.
He was a fun guy after all! He lets you drink,smoke,and sneak out. Do all the things which your dad would have crucified you for.
Seeing both of you so close would have your dad asking you—
"wow you sure are having fun with uncle jimmy,huh? you guys seem to be close".
"yeah he's so cool! it's super fun to be around him".
"fun huh? Well im hoping it's a good kind of fun,honey".
But curly shouldn't be worried! His best friend was just taking care of his daughter... Right? He wouldn't do anything,wrong... Right? That much faith curly should have in his best friend... Should he not?
Your dad and uncle had a habit of watching football games during weekend nights,and you decided to join them one such night.
While watching the game,jimmy suddenly turned to you,and said.
'oi y/n, c'mere and sit" as he motioned towards his lap,he turned towards curly and said. "For old times sake,eh? You remember how I used to carry ya around? I'm feelin nostalgic".
Curly was already feeling tipsy from the 3rd pint of beer he was chugging,so he just laughter and said "haha,you guys are so adorable!".
Albeit,a strange request,you decided to do as your uncle asked anyway,and you went to him and plopped on his lap. No matter his lanky figure,he was still strong enough to carry your weight. So he had no problem in adjusting himself to have you sir on his lap while still getting a comfortable view of the ongoing game.
everybody was focusing on the game,but you,your focus was on something else entirely,all the while you were sitting on his lap, you could feel Jimmy's hot breath on your shoulder,how his left hand was rested at your side,firmly placing a grip, you could feel his heart beating, and you don't know what got over you,but you decided to do something risky, somthing vulgar which you hadn't even properly processed in your mind.
You grinded against him just a little,and that was enough to get his heart beating 10 times faster,you could practically feel his breath hitch,and him letting out the quietest groan. And you felt something hard between you legs,you realised that you had just gotten him rock hard. you felt accomplished for some reason. But that's when your dad decided to drop off the bomb.
"wait,fuck we're out of beer,jimmy look after y/n while I make a quick trip to the store to get few more".
"you got it boss".
You knew that it was wraps the moment your dad walked out the front door and closed it behind him. You blinked and suddenly you were pinned down onto the sofa, your uncle had both your hands pressed firmly above your head,he stared at you like a wild animal on the prowl, hunting its prey.
"damn,I didn't know that you were so dirty, grinding against me like that,you know how 'fuckin hard it was for me to keep from moaning?,you deserve to get punished for it don't you think?".
• you intently stared him,not knowing what to do,excited yet scared of what he was going to do next.
And then without a warning,he smashed his lips against yours,into a rough, messy, hungry kiss. he tasted like liquor with a hint of cigarettes,the cheap brand which he smokes all the time. His tongue was wildly exploring every inch of your mouth, he felt like an animal in heat.
then in between the kiss he said, "you don't know how long I've been wanting to do this,kid".
you already knew that this was going to be quick as your dad would be back from the store in no time,but you also knew,that this was the beginning of something,very long, something very vulgar. and even though it might be wrong,you felt eager,you felt excited. you were looking forward to whatever was going to happen next.
#never underestimate my freak guys#mouthwashing#mouthwashing wrong organ#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing x reader#jimmy x reader#dark content#mouthwashing jimmy x reader#mouthwashing smut#jimmy x reader smut#jimmy
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The Heart Pirates and Strawhat Pirates dont meet that often. It is always a thing of chance, depending where the ocean carries them. If their logpose points to the same island or if there is some big event that is happening.
Luffy is always his exciteable self when he sees Law, running to chat with him and catch up on everything they've done since parting
Law's friends tease him each time, laughing as they yell "Look Captain Your Long Distance Penpal/Friend is here! Now you can stop muttering about him"
Law grumbles and corrects them that they are just allies.
Luffy while actively glomping him in a hug says 'Nuh-uh, we're best friends!'
The heart pirates lose it every time at Law's blushing expression that he hides under his hat as he corrects Luffy that they are just allies
They do this every few weeks, and each time Law says no like a liar in denial, Luffy one ups what they are.
One day he calls Law his boyfriend, not joking one bit. Silence falls over the hearts ship because this is big news! Their captain got a boyfriend! Law denying strawhat was his friend was funny because Law does that to everyone but a boyfriend
And Law doesnt deny it! He turns a bright red, and shambles them both away.
The good natured jokes and rumors spiral after that as Shachi, Bepo and Penguin get to plotting what is the best way to tease their captain about it without making him run away from kissing strawhat and feelings. They are set on being the best wingman immediately xd
Eventually Luffy is straight up calling Law his husband, and using all sorts of terms of endearement to show hoe much he loves Law. It still makes Law bristles as he is not used to constant direct expressions of love but they mean so much to him.
Luffy knows this, he was there in dressrosa and know how much a certain someones last words stuck with Law but also gave him doubts. So Luffy wants Law to know everyday that he is loved!
Luffy will call up Law on his snail just to say "Love you" and hang up before Law can answer. It left Law a blushing mess for a whole day the first time he did it.
One day Law says I love you back, and Luffy immediately gets Nami to take them to Law's ship so they can throw up a party because they are super official now right!? That might aswell be Traffy asking him out!
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omg bachira, isagi, tetchou and dazai with an autistic s/o PLEASE
if you will , make them headcanons ^^ hope you have a wonderhoy day !!
hello, my alien. we’re each other’s mystery
— bachira + isagi + tetchou + dazai x autistic!s/o
so basically all of them x me i see.. i feel like i fucked up on isagi i cant pinpoint his personality ugh. debut into bllk omg im shy hi reentry into bsd too haha if u guys were active in 2022 i think i am familiar. WAIT NOTE AB THE TITLE… LISTEN TO FRIENDS BY BTS IM NOT ABLEIST ITS SUPPOSED TO BE CUTE :(
— bachira meguru
lets be honest he is also a bit autistic…
very hard to be around when you’re overstimmed ngl… he tries to tone it down when he knows you cant handle too much at the moment. but it’s hard for him to just dial the craziness to 50 😞
oh, very good though at getting you out of social situations. he can slip the two of you out of a party like it’s nobody’s business, cause it is nobody’s business :x
hes also a bit of a wild card too if you’re obsessive about having a routine. he’s a free spirit, so having to do things the same way is a bit of a chore.
when you go non-verbal, he brings out a notebook that you two write your conversations on. he doesn’t actually have to write it down. he can communicate just fine, but he likes to write them down as a memento of your relationship.
he alsoooo likes listening to you yap about your special interest! very attentive, you’d think that you’re a professor and he’s your student at how the flow of your conversation is going
“huh— where did bachira and s/o go..?” isagi asked. he turned around, looking for the two of you after the sudden realization that he was abandoned in the middle of the buffet line…
bachira pulled you out, and in an abandoned hall. he noticed you suddenly started plugging your ears.
‘you ok sunshine? :( is the music too loud?’
‘a little bit… i just wanna get away for like 5 min..’
‘hehe, dont worry. ill stay with you (╹◡╹) <3’
‘ty meg :) <3’
bachira smiled as he saw your hand-drawn emoticon. the two of you doodled all over the notebook while he hummed until you were ready to return.
isagi groaned as he saw the two of you reenter. “you guys..! you should’ve told me if you were gonna sneak away!” bachira stuck out his tongue, making a silly expression. “oops! it just slipped my mind!” he snickered.
— isagi yoichi
with the geniuses he has to keep up with, you’re a total walk in the park for him ;p
mega caretaker, he’s super good at protecting you in uncomfortable environments. i feel like he has a weighted blanket somewhere in his room to cover you with, cause he knows it makes you feel safe.
he lowk overprotective sometimes though. he knows his friends like bachira and raichi are a bit more on the raucous side, so he doesn’t hang out with them when he’s with you until like… 2 years into your relationship (they lowk didnt even know he had a partner). in those two years, he only introduced you to his peaceful friends like nagi, hiori, iemon, and kuon
he doesn’t fight you too much about if you have a routine. he has a luck routine and his spacial awareness makes him really meticulous about how things happen, so he’s gets your struggle :x
he tried learning sign language. he really tried… but there was so much signs; for an entire month, his search history was ‘how do i say [thing] in sign language’
he ended up only learning the alphabet, numbers, and basic words like please and hungry. now when you go non-verbal, he simply just opens his notes app for you to type ;p
he, like bachira, loves your yap. its like his personal podcast fr. he likes to let you sit on the kitchen counter and yap, while he washes dishes. he also likes putting on wireless headsets and listen to your voice messages while he practices, or works out at the gym.
“are you absolutely sure you wanna meet them?” isagi asks. “babe, theyre my friends, but theyre also kind of annoying.” he warns you. of course he meant it lovingly… you nod. “yup! they’re your friends, yoi. i wanna meet them..!”
he sighs and nods. “fine… don’t say i didn’t warn you��” he opens the door. you recognize kunigami, he’s talking with chigiri. “isagi! there you areee~!” a boy with a bob-cut hums. “ah, bachira… this is s/o.” isagi points to you. “ooh~! nice to meet you! im bachira meguru. so you’re the one isagi’s been hiding?”
“don’t overwhelm them too much…” isagi sighs, he pulls you away carefully, bringing you in kunigami’s direction. if you settled in with people you were already acquainted with, then you should probably adjust better. that was isagi’s conclusion. “if any of them pester you, just tell me, okay?”
you nod, a bit saddened at your’s and bachira’s conversation’s sudden end. “im not a kid, yoi. you don’t have to worry over me or anything.” isagi frowns. “hnn… i just don’t want my friends overstimulating you. they might be too much for you, babe.” he explains. at that moment, igaguri suddenly yelled out at gagamaru for taking one of his gyozas, making you instinctively cover your ears.
“seeee?” he points out. “okay… point taken… but, i can still deal with it. if im uncomfortable, ill just tell you, okay?” you offer, trying to compromise. isagi looks around, weighing the possibilities before nodding. “finee…”
that day actually went quite well, you were able to keep up with all of them without getting overstimulated. that night, isagi had his face in his pillow, his face being that of death and grief. ‘they dont need me anymore… theyre gonna end up hanging out with my friends more than me…’ he mumbles.
— tetchou suehiro
another lowk might be autistic (but in a diff way)
he isnt too sure about what to do when you’re overstimmed. so, he usually just takes you to a quiet place and sits down with you until you’re calmer.
hes hella conflicted on whether or not he should introduce you to the hunting dogs. his line of work is pretty dangerous after all, and his co-workers aren’t exactly… pacifists 💀
he ends up deciding not to though. worst comes to worst, he just introduces you 5 years in to your relationship— thats what he thinks.
he doesnt mind your routine. he, himself, is pretty eccentric, so you two are just okay with each other’s quirks :x
tetchou doesnt care when you go non-verbal. lol. okay joke, its more like, he’s also very quiet, he doesn’t even actually notice that you two havent talked to each other for 14 hours.
but when the two of you are talking, he is still as quiet as ever. it’s usually you yapping and tetchou asking questions once in a while. never though, does he ever interrupt you when you talk; always waits for you to finish what you’re saying so you dont lose your train of thought 🫡
tetchou spreads some spicy ranch on his pancakes. it was a pretty good combo. he sat at the dining table, as he heard your alarm clock ring.
first thing you do when you wake up, stretch then use the bathroom. tetchou has your routine memorized by now. second, have cereal for breakfast. third, get dressed. fourth, check if your bag has everything you need. he continues his own routine, and you complete yours, until it’s time to head to work.
you’re double, triple, quadruple checking your bag, making sure you didn’t leave anything. tetchou finished lacing up the strings of his boots before he rises back. “ready for work?” he asks, taking his own little peek into your bag.
“uhuh” you nod. tetchou hums, noticing the charger you left on the counter, and slipping it into your bag. “now you are…”. you gasp, “so that’s what i forgot… thank you, chou..” you say. his deep voice vibrates in his throat as he leans in and kisses you, “stay safe. call me if you need anything.” you wrap your arms around his neck.
last part of your routine, hug and kiss tetchou before leaving for work.
— osamu dazai
he lowk adhd u feel?
when youre overstimmed, he lets you lay on his shoulder while he pats your back and brushes your hair. times like this are his personal favorites, it’s when the world is quiet and no one but you and him exists.
defdefdef introduces you to the ADA members. he finds you similar to kyoka, and always encourages you to hang out with her.
adding on that, he sort of sees akutagawa in you… is akutagawa also autistic? hmm… either way, hes a criminal! he cant let his partner interact with a criminal! — the criminal says after diner dashing again.
the routine thing doesnt really work for dazai either… it’s either you break up with him or let him wake up at 4:00 to eat noodles and rearrange the layout of his dorm, bestie… (just leaves his pot in the sink btw, he a bum like that)
actually knows sign language! dont ask me why he knows, bc i dunno either. he just does :x
he also loves to listen to your yap. actual yapper x yapper. you two’s conversations are lowk exhausting though. you both interrupt each other and talk until you’re both breathless. HAHAHAAH
sluuuuuuurp!
you’re waken up by the loud, really gross, squelching sounds of dazai’s saucy noodles as he slurps them up. the sound is uncomfortable— really uncomfortable.
“s—samu… dont… too loud…” you groan, trying to cover your ears. dazai perks up, “ah, did i wake you..? awh, im sorry, dear..!” he apologizes. even though dazai truly meant it, for some reason it just sounded like sarcasm. “uhuh… j…just dont do it again… trying to sleep…” you hum. “got it… go back to sleep, sweets”
for the rest of the night, you sleep well. dazai makes sure to remain veeeery quiet, taking bites of his noodles rather than slurping, carrying his feet, and using all of his hidden muscles to carry his bookshelf. maybe if he keeps doing this, he wont look so lanky anymore.
at around 6:30, you finally wake up again, your surroundings completely different, and you start to panic. “wh—h..huh..?” you look around. dazai’s in the closet, rolling all of his empty beer bottles into it. “hi, baby! just decided to tidy up a bit. you like?” he asks
tidy up? “tidy up, my ass..! all of your stuff is in different places..! i have to relearn my way around your dorm all over again..!” you complain. “hehe… it was for a good cause! you have your own space now in here!” he grins, opening the second to the bottom drawer in his dresser. it was tidied up, and empty.
“for me?” you ask. “mmhm.” he confirms with a hum. even though dazai was quite lazy, stubborn, and annoying, he really put effort into making you happy. just you.
#bungou stray dogs x you#bungou stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bungo stray dogs dazai#dazai osamu x reader#dazai osamu#bsd dazai#bungou stray dogs dazai#dazai x reader#dazai x you#tetchou suehiro#bsd tetchou#tetchou x reader#blue lock x reader#blue lock#bachira meguru#bachira x reader#bllk bachira#blue lock bachira#bachira x you#bachira fluff#bachira headcanons#isagi yoichi#bllk isagi#blue lock isagi#isagi x reader#isagi x you#isagi x y/n#isagi fluff
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for me I really don't like fiddlestan because it feels like the "pair the spares" fandom thing. People ship Bill and Ford together so Stan and Fiddleford get paired together and it really annoys me. There is so much to infer about Fiddauthor from how Fiddleford acts around and treats Ford, but no people like Ford and that triangle so let's pair two characters who have never interacted before instead
yeah like i try not broadly hate on everyone who likes the ship bc ive had at least one or two mutuals who shipped it and were cool about it and to an extent i do think it can be fun to try to puzzle out how two characters who dont interact in canon much would interact in a sandbox as like a thought exercise thing almost (due 2 my roots as a femslash warrior) but yeah i really dont think thats whats happening here for the most part lol. it really does just seem like a lot of people are going about it by way of constructing a shipping chart in their minds and throwing them together when theyre left over after making billford an item without much mind to them as individual characters. i think i said this in a reply the other day but its also bizarre to see the logic play out in peoples heads sometimes like 'welll bill and ford are both hashtag toxic and selfish and Bad so they should be together while stan and fiddleford are both sweet pure innocent victims (of ford) so they should be together' & its like?? this is not a coherent character analysis anymore. these are just some other guys now
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can i ask for your thoughts about sunstone as a ship and their dynamic 🥺
Sorry for taking a while, words hard
God. Sunstone. Both in regular canon and SolarFlare they're absolute cringefails to me. The latter just hide it better. Gonna be talking about canon for the most part here
Under the cut because wall of text lmao
Honestly canon sunstone is pretty tragic? Its two flawed people making every single bad decision, and eventually losing eachother as a result. By the time they actually Think and realise what they both did wrong, its much too late to apologise and make things right
I think that if the circumstances were different they'd be able to have a really good, wholesome relationship
Maybe if Pebbles was less desperate to find the triple affirmative. Maybe if the situation before Moons collapse was less tense, if Suns contacted him earlier. If Suns had thought a little harder about the consequences of sending that gold pearl, if they were a little less weak for him, less indulgent.
I suppose that hindsight is everything. They both regret what happened between them. Especially at the end there.
Okay now for less depressing shit lmao
Their relationship was purely mentor/mentee for a little while and slowly turned into a very close friendship. They both enjoy art, poetry and music and share many views, which they bonded over. And while Suns might not share the same love for history that he has, they're more than willing to listen. And maybe go out of their way to find out new tidbits for him if they can
They never confess, i don't think. They both develop feelings, but Pebbles is too busy to pay much attention to it and Suns just doesn't quite have the nerve to do anything except hint at it. Though this Does end in them sending him a personalised ring via Spearmaster. Which. Is basically a marriage proposal. At least by Ancient standards.
Pebbles doesn't realise this, mostly because that is a tradition practiced purely by the People. And since he's not exactly aware or paying attention to his own feelings he doesn't clock it for what it is.
He does send them back a ring though. Basically treating it like exchanging friendship bracelets or something 💀 Suns about has a heart attack. From what they know he doesn't share their feelings, and they're too much of a coward to inform him about what the gesture meant, so. They end up unofficially officially married. And then unofficially divorced once the second pearl reaches him in Spearmaster's campaign
Pebbles finally gets his shit together sometime during Arti's campaign. She brings back a pearl about marriage traditions and it suddenly clicks for him. Not really the best time to find out, honestly. What with everything going on. Not even truly Finding Out, since he can't actually ask them if thats what the whole thing meant.
They never speak again, and neither gets closure about it. They both keep their rings though.
-
Now a little bit about SolarFlare specifically because they actually get together and meet in person in that! Wont be able to say too much without brain getting on my case for revealing too much though lmao. SF sunstone are Extremely exaggerated in their everything, so obviously not saying canon compliant off the string would be quite like this 🙏
They dont become a thing until they've actually met in person, though the line between being close and being Close was blurred for a bit before this point
Pebbles is the one that says something first, and they become official after that
They're like,, really abnormal about eachother. Like its genuinely obsession for them. They be jealous and posessive and codependent as hell. Both of them. Its not healthy, but they are genuinely really happy with eachother. Kinda made for eachother in that way. They're eachother's favourite people and they Will make it other people's problem
End up marrying at some point (after having an actual conversation about it this time), and its both because they wanna show love and devotion but also because they're very about it being a way to claim eachother. And that being visible to others
I love them and their weird relationship
#this turned into just kind of a ramble really#but ah well#was asked for words and delivered words#if they're weird and dont make sense its because most of this was written at like 2am#rw shipping#rw sunstone#seven red suns#five pebbles#solar flare au
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since we don't really know anything about the curtis' extended family i feel like that means that the brother's parents weren't close to them and of course there has to be a reason for that (and if there isnt lets just pretend there is) so could we get some hcs for somehow all of them getting together to celebrate the holidays and they learn that reason?? whatever it may be (also get the shepards in there because i looooooove them, perhas even some little things of them defending the brothers for whatever reasons)
rubbing my hands together i was actually thinking of something like this earlier
•lets say the reason y the curtis parents arent close to their own is bc mrs curtis was a soc who got w mr curtis (who was a greaser, duh)!!! her parents aint approve and they ran away, andddd thats how the curtis parents ended up where they were
•mrs curtis said they never saw her part of the family bc they were too far away, while mr curtis said his part of the family were dead (and he was kinda right, he meant they were dead to HIM but now a good portion of that family IS actually dead, whoops), non of the bros rlly questioned it nor did they have a HUGE curiosity for visiting em, just something they never questioned
•howeverrrrr, mrs curtis’ family did know about pony, soda, and darry, bc mrs curtis sent some pics of the family bc she did always miss them, but they never responded to those letters, untillllll
•one day!!! darry found a letter from their grandma, for their mom!! it was around the holidays and she was wondering if she wants to come over w the family (begrudgingly mr curtis too) to celebrate it w the family after years being apart, and darry just, didnt know how to react to that
•he didnt immediately tell soda or pony, he would just reread it over and over, wondering if he should respond, and if he did how the hellllll was he gonna tell her she died years ago,,,,
•when darrys in doubt, he confides in tim cause he thinks tims the closest hes gonna get to someone understanding how he feels and hes not even wrong!!! a drink w tim is like darrys therapy, but this time all tim could do was listen, this situation too fucked up even for him😭😭, all he said to darry was that theres no wrong decision for him here, he was forced into it, so whatever happens, he tried his best w what he was given
•since the holidays were approaching, darry realized he would have to tell pony and soda about this too, he feels its especially unfair for HIM to decide for all of them, shes their grandma just as much as she is his after all
•now for soda, out if the brothers hes always been the most curious about meeting his extended family, but finally having that chance and the context behind y theyve never seen em, i cant say hes saying a straight up “yes” to this, he wants to go but its not gonna b the way hes been hoping for, for years, so would it really b worth it??? would they b accepted even if theyre greasers???? this could fuck up his holidays for the next few years depending on how traumatizing this is!!!
•ponys just like darry, hes not saying no, but also saying yes either, hes so on the fence about it. of course he’s learned not to judge soc’s, but this is so much more personal and TIED to him, is he mentally ready to face on all this bs???? he dunno
•pony remembers the multiple times his mom said he looked just like his grandma and would stare at him, and he could see darry staring the same way at him, it kinda freaks him out and makes him feel bad, he cant look darry in the eyes</333
•he opened up to curly about it n curly was crackin jokes, he cant take not SHIT seriously 100%🙄🙄, BUT like tim, he did have just one thing to say, ur not obligated to do it, dont base this off of ehat ur parents wouldve wanted, do it how U do
•feels like this would also mean that if ppl found out about the situation, they would see the curtis’ as “lesser greasers” bc in their eyes, they were greasers by choice, but anyone who questions the curtis’ identity shall b beaten or intimidated by one of the shepards and their goons
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hi!! i do feel kinda weird for asking for therian tips like right after you got an ask on the same subject but i was def wondering if i could have any feline tips? for reference i am a cladotherian (felidae) and i kinda just have felt kinda disconnected from my therianthropy so i was wondering if theres anything i can do about that? i am not comfy meditating just for personal reasons and i dont do much quads or vocals due to an unsafe environment in my home. i kind of am generally wanting tips and things that can pass as human behavior just as a heads up!! im really sorry again if this is a super picky ask / if you dont want to do another one of these therian tip posts,,, thank you in advance if you end up responding <3 (/p heart)
You're all good, and I don't mind helping out where I can! You're not being picky, you're being specific and that's totally fine.
Anything that makes your room feel more comfortable to you is gonna be a huge help, since it's your space. If I understand right, cladotherians are all of that type of animal, right? That means you've got a ton of options to try out to see what room arrangements feel like a cozy home, and which of those you can pass off as a "nature aesthetic"- when I was a little kid my room was entirely jungle themed because I was absolutely obsessed with animals, and if when I moved in with my grandma I could've kept it I absolutely would've. Having a nature theme in there that's similar to an environment you'd have lived in could make you feel more at home!
Next, birdwatching in the park or your yard can definitely feel like you're watching prey, especially if you're in a housecat type of mood, and that's easily a human behavior too! If you have a couch or chair that gets nice Sunbeam light during the day, I also recommend a nap there once in a while- therian or not that just feels good. If anyone asks, just say you got too cozy and dozed off. And, if you're the type to establish a territory, just walking in nature could really help you out here! Doubly so if you're feeling connected at the moment to a cat that suits the climate and current weather- take a nature walk and remind yourself that you're at home and you're part of all this.
All felines are obligated carnivores, so adding some extra meat (or meat-textured non meat foods if you don't eat meat) to your diet could make you feel like you're feeding your inner cat! If anyone asks, which they shouldn't, say you're just making sure you get enough protein, or if fish is your meat of choice, there are SO many good nutrients in fish that no one's going to question your uptick there.
Make the lack of vocals for you an advantage to you if you can. Many cats, especially feral domesticated cats, don't make a lot of sounds to start with! Housecats only meow as kittens and to humans for the most part, for example! So you might not be able to roar like a lion, but you can absolutely quietly stalk through your house like a panther, silent as to not alert your prey (leftovers in the fridge).
Also, if you've got a FiveBelow near you- they sell cat ear headphones! They're relatively cheap, under 15 iirc, comfortable and with decently good sound. It's gear without it being gear! If anyone questions, it's a trend to put cat ears on headphones right now, especially if you happen to be a gamer. I can personally attest to these, because they were the cheapest ones there for a while I had a couple pairs and they're super comfy.
I also recommend playing games that have you playing as different felines- it's weird to say but Roblox has a lot of these, give some a try and really get into the mindset.
I hope this helped! And remember- one day, your circumstances will change, and you'll be able to be as openly yourself as you want to be. There's a place in this world for creatures like us. ❤️
#alterhuman#therian#therianthropy#otherkin#therian community#kin community#therian things#cladotherian#feline therian#cat therian#feline theriotype#cat theriotype#asks#lxvebugz
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I am. Offended. At how much this comic sways my emotions. Dawgs you have no clue how thrilled I am to see Sans Forgettable AU POST trauma for the first time.
I cant feel my heart.
I love his stupid sunglasses and stupid
stupid
hes so stupid I love him I love him and his brother I love the brothers i love the concept of brothers they are the definition of the concept of brothers
also im mad. the shirt hes wearing looks like Wingdings’ dress shirt but opened. ☹️
while we’re here I might as well share my fanfic version of the first pages of Chapter 2
SO I THOUGHT LIKE just straight after the end of Chapter 1, Papyrus is like “ill go inform everyone of our departure!” and before Flowey can say NO DONT TELL ANYONE- he walks in and the house is comedically hectic, Toriel greets Papyrus and asks if he wants to help with her baking and before he can answer Undyne swoops in holding him in a headlock, then Toriel scolds her and then Alphys shouts and the smoke alarms go off cause she just accidentally blew something up upstairs- FUN STUFF
In this hectic scene Flowey has been TRYING to get Papyrus’ attention but still lie low with everyone else- and eventually got it by shoving Papyrus’ face out of a window and closing the curtains around him-
“Don’t tell Toriel we’re going to the Underground!” “why??” “CAUSE SHE’LL THINK ITS DANGEROUS AND WANT TO BRING EVERYONE ELSE!”
“well why not?? thats a lovely idea!”
And this goes on- eventually Papyrus gets pulled back by Undyne to help with something and Sans appears like “so why are you guys going to the underground?” and floweys like FUCK!
Sans says he’s coming with unless Flowey says what theyre doing. The logic being, “well if its dangerous then I don’t want you guys going alone, and if its not dangerous then why arent you saying what it is?”. He also says he’ll drop it if Flowey just says what- so Floweys honest and says that theyre gonna try and solve Papyrus’ memory problem. And Sans is like.
fuck.
Cause now he really does wanna come
but also he said he wouldnt-
IM SHAKING IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENS CAUSE TELLING FROM THIS SCREENSHOT THATS CLEARLY NOT- also godamn thatd be impressive if I predict a whole scene/plot progression just by saying “how would I write this…”
I should say what I think is gonna happen in more detail more often just in case that DOES happen cause id never let go of that. Permanent ego boost
Little sneak-peek as a thanks for the patience waiting for new pages aldjwknd
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the anxiety pills arent even working :c
#maybe a little bit actually#before i took it i felt hysterical and my chest burned and i cried#now after a while i dont feel that as much#i just feel empty and hollow#im just so upset and sad#why cant he understand how much i love him and what i'd do for him#or maybe he does understand he just doesnt care about my love?#idk ... maybe i just keep hurting him? idk i jusg wish he'd tell me#and i wish .. he could see that i dont mean to hurt him. but maybe... he wants me to know and not do it? idk#anyway... the pill might've helped a little but i still cant stop thinking about it#i cant believe i was dumb enough to not learn my lesson#and that i kept venting and being crazy and aaying dumb shit#and that some of my mental breakdown vent that i dont even mean hurt him#i should've just stopped using my blog for that from the start#now he doesnt even follow me anymore.....#i know it sounds utterly silly but the fact that im not important enough for him to follow hurts so bad#i feel worthless now why do i even exist if he doesnt see me?#i get why he wants his ex though. she's x10000 better than me in every way#i wish i'd never came into his life and messed with him like that#i dont wanna hurt him and i feel so bad. i should've just left him alone and not caused a meas#mess*#fml i wanna cry i hate myself so bad
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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Still very wild to me when people try to gotcha Jason with the whole "if you can kill other people for being evil why can't they kill you" when jason is like. One of the most passively suicidal characters I've ever seen. What if man
#augh i dont want to cw this because im just talking about The Character and i feel bad when i do it for characters but i probably should#suicide mention#ask to tag#while im here i do absolutely believe hes been suicidal since jaybin times. maybe even before just in different ways. but like#going into that building with shelia? yeah#now. i DONT think he was aware of it and if youd ask him hed say no fully believing thats the truth#but like if a ghost jaybin had some introspection time i think he'd maybe eventually be like yeah#his outcomes to him were have a loving parent or die and hes a very big fan of ultimatums like that.#but he doesn't fully see it like that as jaybin because oh hes a hero and saving others when no one else can is what heros do :)#ramble. ivee been feeling it lately yknow how it is#ive once saw a post saying jason was planning to die after the joker was dead in utrh and yeagh i can see that#he puts A BOMB in his HELMET#suicidal characters in the context of hero stories are so fascinating to me. the self sacrifice.#the not caring about your own safety as long as you save someone else. the pushing yourself#the way itd be so easy to make it look like they just fell in battle. to be considered a hero in the end#anyway ive been glancing at suicidal jason todd fics. how bad is it that im still getting mad about characterization#because theyre not killing him right#AND ANOTHER THING. since im here and i try to avoid making posts about The Character like this so might as welk get it all out#think about suicidal jaybin as well as the fact 80s bruce very much considered suicidal people/people attempting like#weak and lazy? yells at them? i think thats about it. Very Much. je seems to straight up just hate them#again very much feel free to ask me to tag this one ^-^'#and i hope no one thinks im being callous here im very worried about that. i just its a very important part of his character to think about#and its fun to explore as someone who is passively suicidal myself#jason todd analysis#anyway no one look at me i am in my corner just rotating him#WAIT to clarify i dont think jaybin fully realized Just becauceof the heros sacrifice thing. i made it sound like that i believe#anyway. if you read him as suicidal since jaybin times and go to ditf with that lens like i did. well. the post death victim blaming..
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realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.
... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.
#idk if ill ever open up completely about that shitshow but#i think 8 years is past the statute of limitations to vaguepost about it#late tag addition but man now i'm thinking about it all at 4am#how did in the good goddamn did i witness that and still not only let them make me an officer#but also let them put me functionally in charge of their guild IC#while those two fucked off and erped in instanced zones or played overwatch#and i and my then-rp-partner took the heat for the meandering plotline#until my partner vented to the wrong person about the abuse#and it got back to them#and we got to experience the surreality of an honest to god guild coup#all to salvage the image of some egomaniac abuser#certified fucking wra moment#its been 8 years and thinking about how i was treated in the end makes me feel sick lol#they made a new guild discord and invited everyone but us#and when i noticed the channel had gone quiet i asked what was up#and was met with gaslighting about how i'm 'thinking too much' about the channel being a 'little slow'#and it took pushing to get an early admission of what was about to happen#so we logged on and quit ourselves#which fucked up the narrative they had constructed#and they lied in the new channel that WE were the ones doing a 'coup' and that we stole the members who left with us#i guess i am opening up after all#i had to play the fucking villain of that scenario for the past 8 years#all to protect the mental health of people who hurt me#why#if you were there and know what i'm referencing with all of this... there's the fucking story#the person in question is a massively popular artist#i just dont have it in me to fight that fight
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love thinking kipperlilly spends her afterlife looking for lucy in a familiar forest
#not art#fhjy#fhjy spoilers#like. does she have a mean of knowing lucy and yolanda got sent to cassandra's domain to hang out for a bit#kipperlilly's isolation means so much to me. she is punished for everything she's done she just doesn't pick up on it#until the moment she dies! one more funky thing that mirrors riz in which he's actively tried to cultivate a community and denied it#until the bad kids. while kipperlilly does not want or care about a community she just wants someone who validates her#but she does Need a community so she latches onto the person she lets closer to her to fulfill her emotional needs#she took the ritual willingly so this might genuinely be her first death. probably terrifying#probably not even enough bandwidth to feel mortified. maybe immediately seeking something comforting out of instinct alone#lmao honestly thinking too much abt fantasy high afterlifes gives me a headache And a visceral fear#Im not religious but I grew up in a culture with a dominantly buddhist/taoist cosmology its Scary that u just go to A Place after u die!!#and then ur still urself!!! thats scary to me what do u mean u stay like that forever. thats fucked#but yeah I think this influences how I see kipperlilly turn out a little bit. in a sense I think of her as being a ghost now#yknow. trying to solve something from life so she can move on and. stop living this life etc#man the reveal that lucy took being killed pretty seriously and is like yeah the others are decent and even sweet#and probably was just trying to hold her party together and do what she thinks is moral by hearing kipperlilly out#lol lmao etc. gods I gotta wonder how kipperlilly's mindset handled jawbones' help#it really is damn tragic tho. I stand by what I said folks like this will complain and be nasty to be around#but they dont have enough desire to inconvenience themselves to off the bat do something abt what they find unfair or whatever#its when theyre handed the seemingly very easy means to be right that they'll start being dangerous#its horribly tragic that the supposed metaplayer and the self-perceived mastermind turned out to ultimately be just an useful idiot#yknow what. I think personally in my heart kipperlilly moves on from her afterlife the moment she says sorry#doesnt even have to be to lucy but that's probably gonna be who received it#ah.... teenage rebellion. teenage gamejacking
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Here’s an edited wip of my Birdflash oneshot.
Fair warning, this will probably change in the final product as I try to figure out at what point in the timeline I want this fic to take place.
“You look like shit, Dickie.”
“Gee, thanks, Walls. You’re such a loving boyfriend,” Dick retorted. He tried for a smile, but Wally watched sadly as it twitched and fell before it could become what it once was–what Dick’s smile used to be.
Dick opened his door wider in invitation and Wally rushed in and examined the place. Gotham wasn’t ever known for its beauty, but even with that in mind, Dick’s apartment looked pretty rough. Empty containers of takeout and miscellaneous trash littered the floor and countertops. His couch was sprinkled with brown spots that he almost assumed were polka dots before he realized they were most definitely patches of dried blood. Clothes were strewn across every surface, their musk permeating his senses. Dick brushed past his side and made his way to the kitchen, opening his rickety fridge to expose the meager amount of food he had. Wally would bet his life savings that each of the five items had gone bad too, based on the state of the place.
Dick turned to toss Wally a water, “So…what, uh, brings you here?” Dick’s awkward tone hangs heavy between the two. Now that Wally could get a good look, his lover was in rough shape. Even worse than his apartment; which was a feat, his mind whispered. His hair laid limp and greasy along his neck and his bags seemed to have bags of their own. A couple of dark bruises peeked through the collar of his shirt, some leading down to his left arm if the strange way he seemed to carry it was anything to go by. Dick clutched his own water bottle, doing his best to look anywhere but at him.
“You haven’t been responding to my messages,” Wally started, “I texted the other Robin, uh Tim, I think? But he never got back to me either, so I got worried, you know? Figured I’d take matters into my own hands. I don’t have super speed for nothing.” He waved his hands around, doing his best to lighten the mood. “It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten to talk, let alone seen each other in person, but, you know, if this isn’t the best time, I can totally leave. I know this is kinda spur of the moment.” Wally wished he could slap himself the moment his lips stopped moving. Some of the younger heroes had started calling him a professional yapper and he wished it didn’t fit so damn well.
Wally watched as Dick took a breath and rubbed his temple as if he had a headache. He winced. Yeah, this probably wasn’t the best time to show up out of the blue.
“No, I…You don’t need to leave, “ Dick sighed. “I’m sorry I haven’t been responding, Walls. Everything’s just been… a lot, to put it simply. I’ve been so busy trying to balance my day job, Bludhaven, and…and being Batman. I just haven’t had much time to myself lately, if you can’t tell by the state of my apartment.” Dick laughed pitifully and winced when it shook his aching arm.
He couldn’t help moving forward into the kitchen and enveloping Dick in a hug, something he definitely should’ve done the moment he’d arrived. His partner sighed shakily and moved to wrap his arms around Wally’s middle. He felt Dick’s face pressed against his chest and hooked his chin to the top of his greasy head. Dick had always been one for physical comfort, a miracle considering who he’d grown up with and the environment he’d been forced into at the ripe age of nine. Wally would be lying if he didn’t say Dick’s need for physical affection didn’t bring him relief and make him feel needed. Sometimes, he felt powerless amidst his lover's strife–Batman’s rule against metas in Gotham limiting his ability to help. Providing Dick a simple hug; feeling the tense muscles in his shoulders loosen and his breath hit Wally’s neck as he sighed in relief, was Wally’s respite from his perpetual guilt.
Wally knew about Batman’s…death. He’d been there when Dick hosted Bruce’s funeral, letting Dick squeeze the life from his hand as he listened to the speech from Alfred. With Bruce gone, the natural order of Dick’s family had seemed to fall apart. Dick had taken the mantle of Batman, a title Wally knew he had never wanted–never felt right for him. He’d be lying if he said he fully understood the magnitude of such a change–that he knew how large the chasms carved by trauma had grown to separate Dick and his siblings. And yet despite that, he knew one thing for a fact. Dick, his lover and the man he’s known for well over a decade now was not the type of person to let others shoulder pain on their own. He took and took and took until he knew only he carried the weight of the sky on his shoulders, letting his muscles feel relief only when his family no longer felt pain. And he’d continue to carry that weight with a smile as long as he knew his family would smile back, unaware of the sky creeping in on Dick’s tense shoulders.
Wally squeezed his arms tighter around Dick’s back, supporting him as his breaths became ragged in their silent embrace. As Wally did so, a sick thought entered his mind, fueled by the anger and pain he felt for his partner; a small part of him–microscopic even–was glad Bruce wasn’t here. Not because he reveled in the effects his passing had on Dick, nor because he wanted Dick to be forced into the role of Batman, but because despite his struggles, Bruce had never been good for Dick. Yes, he played the parental figure Dick needed when he was younger and yes, he provided the necessities for Dick to survive, but he never provided what Wally knew Dick needed most.
“Do you wanna move to the couch, babe?” Wally whispered, cheek pressed against Dick’s head. He feels Dick nod silently and Wally zipped them to the couch in less than half a second. Wally sat and patted the spot next to him, watching as Dick laid his head on his lap, pressing his cheek to Wally’s stomach while letting his legs hang off the side of the couch.
Never one comfortable with silence, Wally broke it first. “If you don’t wanna talk, I won’t push. We can chill, watch the Office, eat popcorn–whatever you want. I just worry…you know? Not being able to be here to help and hearing on the news, Batman and Robin this and Joker and Two-Face that…I just wish I could do more for you.”
Wally looks down to meet Dick’s pained stare and internally winces as Dick opens and closes his mouth, struggling to respond.
“Me and the bats have it handled over here, okay?” Dick starts quietly, aimlessly running his hand over Wally’s knuckles. “You don’t need to worry about me, honey. I know you have more than enough to deal with back at Central and I don’t want to stress you out with problems I have handled.”
Wally lets his free hand run through Dick’s hair, quickly relishing in the way Dick warms to his touch. “I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t be stressed, you know me too well for that, but I’m here to support you, Dick. To be your listener when you’re stressed.” He paused for only a moment before speaking again, “I know you, Dick. I’ve known you for almost every era of your life as you have, mine. I knew you when you were my scrawny, baby leader-”
“Hey-” Dick tried to interject, but Wally kept going.
“I knew you when you wore that god awful blue and yellow disco Nightwing suit-”
“It really wasn’t that bad-”
“And I know what it looks like when you don’t have things handled. You don’t need to soften the blow for me Dickie and you don’t need to play the perfect soldier.” Wally paused. Let it be known even the Flash is out of breath from time to time. “You were always there for me during rough times, so please let me be there for you.”
#dc fanfic#dick grayson#dick grayson fanfiction#nightwing#dc comics#nightwing fanfiction#birdflash#wally west#wally west fanfiction#wally west flash#kid flash#im having a lot of fun writing this so far and its already much better than the og#that i wrote at like 4 am LMFOA#however im only uploading this now because i think i’m going to rewrite half of it LMAO#while i do think exploring dick as batman would be interestingg it just doesnt work for what i want with birdlfash#at least i dont think itll work#that whole arc is such a mess that i’m honestly not knowledgable on as i only just started the comics#and already dick feels too soft for that arc#so might change it for something idk yet#maybe i can make it work tho we’ll see#also just realized all my italicized words r gone after i copied and pasted from google docs#curse you google docs#curse you tumblr#dc#batman#batman fanfiction#bruce wayne
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Well that's my last night shift done. I'm back on days as of this week.
I also have an exam for a job opportunity on Monday and an interview on Wednesday if I pass the exam. So wish me luck for that and maybe I won't have to be stuck at the most thankless job in the world for much longer
#if you dont think i work the worlds most thankless job#i want you to ask yourself: do you know anybody who likes airport security#ive been here long enough that i argue back at the passengers now and stopped giving a shit about their feelings#which is what this job does to you after a while. you take so much constant abuse from every direction#that your brain numbs out in order to protect your own mental health#and then you still get blamed for it#im scared of the exam but#i passed the training for this right
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