#nothing to be done. shower and bed. work tomorrow. and ill come home and cry until I sleep again and its fine

[phagodyke]

didn't play any videogames this afternoon again just cried for a couple hours but I knew it was coming. and i still made myself go to the gym at least so theres that 👍

[dreamescapeswriting]

A Little Time ~ KSJ [Request]

WORD COUNT:1.8K

PAIRING: Dad!Seokjin x Mum!Reader

GENRE: Established relationship, marriage AU, pregnancy, angst, fluffy ending

Rain was hammering down outside and the thunder was making your 8-year-old son jump every time there was a loud burst of noise or a flash of lightning. A clap of thunder sounded and Jae jumped a little, clutching onto your arms as he tried to ignore the thunderstorm, normally when it was this bad you would put on a movie for him and watch it together but tonight he just wanted to go to sleep.

"Hey, it's okay." You promised as you moved closer to him on his small bed in his bedroom, he was shivering from how cold he was so you added another blanket around him trying to bring his warmth back up. Jin was supposed to have picked him up from football practise after school but never should up, instead of ringing you at work your son walked all the way home in the storm almost getting himself sick because of it. Jin was in for it when he came in, he'd been so busy lately he wasn't making time for anybody else which you understood but leaving your son was unacceptable.

"Is dad coming home?" Jae stuttered out as he began to lay down under the thick blankets and quilt covers, you nodded at him not knowing if it was the truth or not. If Jin was too late coming home he would normally stay at the dorms or in the studio instead of coming back to his home, 

"Of course, he'll be home. We have our big breakfast tomorrow," Your stomach churned at the thought of going out to breakfast, the smell of food lately made you want to vomit and nothing sounded good to you anymore but you figured you were just getting a bug and it would pass sooner or later. It was a traditional thing that you and Jin did with Jae, every 1st Saturday of the month you would go out to have breakfast in a fancy restaurant, spending time together as a family but with how busy Jin had been lately you doubted he even remembered what date it was.

"Get some sleep, you're going to need your rest." You whispered to your son, bending down to kiss his forehead softly as his eyes struggled to stay open, you could tell he was fighting the urge to sleep.

"Goodnight mum," He whispered back to you, turning onto his side as he pulled a stuffed animal closer to him, falling asleep almost instantly as you left the room trying to prepare a speech for when Jin would finally show up at him. 

It wouldn't have bothered you so much if Jin just simply told you that he was going to be late or busy but instead, he just went offline and ignored everyone. Shutting people out and turning them away whenever they tried to help him with something even when he was at home he was never really there. It was as if someone had placed him on auto-pilot at home and all he did was eat, sleep and repeat day in and day out.

As you walked down the stairs to go and clean up the living room the front door opened and Jin stood there, rain dripping off him and onto the floor as he shivered. 

"It's a little cold," He laughed loudly but you ignored him, continuing your walk towards the living room instead of making conversation with him, there was nothing you could say to him right now that wouldn't cause a large fight with one another. 

"Did you have a good day babe? I did, the boys and I went out for lunch and then we got some writing done, then we went out to dinner and you should have seen-" Jin stopped talking when you slammed the glass cabinet door where you kept photographs and baby memorabilia inside and stared at him. There was a coldness behind your eyes he couldn't read but it sent a shiver up and down his spine and he knew at that moment that he'd done something wrong.

"What did I do?" He stuttered out, taking off his shoes and making his way over to you with his arms out at the ready, he was going to hug and make it up to you no matter what it took but you pushed his arms away. 

"It's what you didn't do, did you forget someone today?" Your arms folded across your chest as you looked at him, shifting your weight from one foot to the other as you waited for the penny to drop in his head.

"O-Oh shit-"

"Yeah, our son walked home and was so cold I thought he was going to turn into a human ice sculpture!" You yelled out, finally losing your temper as Jin seemed to have time to go to lunch and dinner with the boys but neglected in picking up your child from football or coming home in time for dinner with the two of you. 

"God, it's like you don't even care about us...You're never here anymore," You scoffed, picking up the toys that were on the floor, cleaning up the place would help you get less angry at him for never being there anymore. 

"I am too," Jin argued following you into the kitchen as you began loading the washing machine with dirty clothes, 

"Really? Because I go to bed with a cold space and wake up to an empty space," You couldn't bring yourself to look at him so you focused on the washing that you were trying to do instead of what you really wanted to say to him. 

"Because I'm busy, you knew this was my life when we got married, don't act so shocked now," He grumbled trying to walk away but you stood up, kicking the door to the washing machine closed. 

"I knew what I was getting into, I knew you were busy but lately Jin...It's like you don't even want to be around your own son! He's been waiting for you every night hoping you would read to him," Jin began to walk away not being able to handle the truth so you followed him, no longer shouting since you didn't want to wake Jae up. 

"He's been asking me when you were going to come home, when you were going to make time for him," You whispered as you both walked into your bedroom, the door shutting behind you as you stared at Jin who was calmly stripping out of his clothes and ignoring you as if he couldn't hear you. You continued to rant but he walked into the en-suite bathroom turned on the shower and ignored you once again.

"Do you even know what tomorrow is?" It was a simple question that seemed to make your heart drop when you saw a look of confusion flash across Jin's face. He'd just came out of the bathroom when you decided to remind him about the next morning's breakfast date, 

"Breakfast with me and your son...Like we do once a month," You shook your head, he was unbelievable. 

"It's not-" You threw the calendar onto the bed beside him to prove what date it was and his face dropped as he appeared pale, biting down on his lip he glanced up at you. 

"Babe I've been busy, I forgot...It was one thing," He tried to justify it but you shook your head, 

"It's not one thing...You forgot to pick our son up, you forgot our anniversary last month and you've been pushing us away from a while Jin." Your voice cracked as you tried not to cry in front of him, failing miserably as tears streamed down your cheeks that you weren't able to contain any more, you felt overemotional and just wanted this to end. 

"So I missed a couple of things, it's because I'm busy." The same excuse was used over and over again and you shook your head at him, rubbing your temples as a piercing headache began to build up.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," You grumbled at him, picking up one of the blankets from the bed and heading for the guest bedroom where most of Jae's baby items were stored. 

"Babe come to bed-"

"I am in bed," You mumbled to him, shutting the door as you climbed onto the guest bed for the night, not being able to be around Jin for much longer, you just needed some space.

Things didn't improve much after the fight with Jin, he was still busy with work and pushing you away but he came home more often to spend time with his son while you got on with everything you had to do around the house and at work. Throwing yourself into a busy schedule, so busy that you'd neglected to notice that you were late for your period by two months and that you were sick almost every other day and highly emotional.

"Mum?" You rolled over on the bed to see Jae walking into the room with a cup of water for you, he'd been looking after you all day since you were too sick to move. 

"Hey pumpkin, what's wrong?" You questioned, sitting up as he climbed onto the bed after putting the glass of water down onto the table beside your bed. 

"I called Daddy, you don't look good." You smiled weakly at the thought of Jin coming home early to you being sick but you knew he would want to know if you were ill. 

"What did he say?" You questioned but right before Jae could answer the door burst open to your bedroom, Jin was standing there panting and sweating heavily. 

"Uncle Jimin and Taehyung are downstairs," He spoke to Jae who dashed off the bed and sprinted down the stairs while Jin poured the contents of a black back onto the bed in front of you. 

"Babe what's-" You were going to ask what everything was when you saw the pregnancy test kit sitting there with water, multivitamins and different tablets. 

"You're late...You're sick...You're barely getting out of bed which is what happened when you were pregnant with Jae," All of a sudden your overprotective and kind husband was right in front of you, getting ready to take a pregnancy test with you as though the fight between you didn't happen and you were perfectly fine. 

"I-I can't have another baby, we're not ready...You're too busy," You panicked as you slid off the bed, taking the tests into the bathroom as Jin followed you, 

"We will make time, I'll start taking days off...You can take some off too...I promise I will never leave you behind." He whispered as he kissed your forehead, watching you as you began to get ready to take the test. 

"Pregnant." You breathed out looking at the stick which was blinking a happy face at both you and Jin, you were happy but worried all at the same time but Jin was reassuring you that things were going to be different, he was going to be there more no matter what he had to do to do it.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @taestannie @rjsmochii @kneel-begyourpardon @sw33tnight @sweeneyblue1 @innersooya​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​

[moon-goddess-posts]

Hi I saw your requests were open and I’d like to request maybe Kaeya comforting his s/o once they’re rejected from the knights of favonious. They’ve tried really hard to get accepted but got rejected for some reason.

Hi! I'm so sorry it took long to answer your request 😭😭 school has been pretty rough and my motivation has been dying but here it is!

Kaeya comforting s/o

Hurt/comfort, fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive 🤨

You trained so hard for this day, practiced everything from knightly poses to helping the city as much as you could for hardly any pay. Some told you it was over working but you desperately wanted to be accepted. You wanted to continue helping others and you longed for the next step of that. But life wasn't always fair. You were on your way to try outs, people cheered for you with their hearts believing you were more than capable to become a knight. Excitement filled your bones and nervousness kicked in as you were greeted with the Knights of Favionus doors.

With giving everything you've got in the try outs, you were sure you'd be able to get accepted. You worked so hard right? Had the gods witnessed your hard work as well? Walking back home, so many thoughts raced through your head. Days went by waiting for a note, you never gave up on waiting for a response and you dreamed of wearing the uniforms and going on so many missions. Even possibly working with your boyfriend the calvary captain, Kaeya. You had met during your practice on becoming a knight and he was impressed to say the least.

Finally after a week of waiting, a letter came in. Reality kicked in as you read the note.

"We would like to inform you that unfortunately the Knights of Favionus believed you didn't meet the requirements to become a knight. We were impressed by your mastery of your swordsmanship but it was not what we were looking for. Please don't be discouraged, there are always other try outs being hosted.

Thank you for your hard work

-Knights of Favionus"

"What...?" Confusion and sorrow began creeping in. Had this been a mistake? But your name had been at the beginning so it couldn't have been.

"Was I really not good enough?" You had worked so hard for this opportunity, had they turned a blind eye to what you've been doing? Tears started seeping out of your eyes and you didn't hold them back. So many thoughts raced through your head to the point of insanity. You were laughing hysterically as tears slipped down your face. You wanted to rip your hair out, all that training, all that practice, all those times Kaeya trained with you, the times he believed in you. It was for nothing. All of it was for nothing. Laughs turned into loud sobs, into cracked whimpers and weeps. How would you face everyone now?

You didn't leave your house for several days, completely ignoring the fact that there was people out there who need your help, who wanted to see you. Knocks were at your door but you didn't bother to answer until your heard a particularly familiar voice.

"Kaeya, he can't see me like this! Not when I'm such a wreck!"

"Hey its me Kaeya, please open your door. I know what happened and im really worried about you," his voice wasn't like usual, it had a mix of sadness and worry.

"G-give me a second please!" You rushed to the bathroom to try and freshen up, making sure he didn't notice how puffy your eyes were. You opened the door and saw kaeya, you wanted to cry again, cry into his arms, but you held in your tears.

"I'm here now..." was the only thing he said before pulling you into a tight embrace. You couldn't help but cry again, but this time it was comforting. You felt safe as you let someone finally help you, maybe that was what you were missing. The ability to ask for help in difficult situations. All this time you had thought being a knight was only helping and protecting others, but you also lacked the trust for them to have your back as well. More tears flowed out like a faucet at that realization.

Kaeya didn't dare speak a word as you both embraced each other for some time. You didn't notice being carried until you felt the familiar sensation of your bed.

"Kaeya...I dont know what to do...I worked so hard for it, I wanted to work with you as well, I wanted to help people more," choked sobs came out and Kaeya rubbed your back.

"Becoming a knight is just a title. I recognized your hard work, and so many others have. Jean was the one who made the decision, i'll talk to her about it tomorrow."

"N-no its fine i just...I dont know, was I not good enough?" You gripped his shirt.

"You were and will always be good enough my love, you've done so many good things for this city and you're so humble about it too. Even without being a knight, so many others see you as one." You were glad for Kaeya's reassurance, the tears started to slow down and you started to get sleepy.

"Stay here i'll get you water ok?"

"Mmhm..." you let him go and started getting under the covers. Few minutes later he came back with the water and some of your favorite snacks.

"Would you mind sitting up for me?" You followed his instructions and grabbed the cup of water gulping it down.

"Would you like to eat these snacks or get out of the house and order something from Good Hunter?" You've been stuck in your house for almost a week and you longed for fresh air.

"I wanna go outside." He gave you a warm smile and nodded his head.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and get ready"

"Alright ill be here if you need anything, I love you darling" Kaeya said genuinely, which made you blush.

"I-love you too," you rushed to the bathroom and he chuckled

Freshly out of the shower, you grabbed a new pair of clothes and it felt weird being in something other than pajamas. As you were about to put your shirt on you heard a knock.

"Ah, dont come in im not done changing yet!" Kaeya didn't listen though and barged in anyway.

"Kaeya! I told you not to come in!" You were blushing profusely.

"Hm? Whats wrong? No need to be shy, I've seen it all before" he smirked and walked toward you.

"Thats not the point!" He didn't seem to stop coming towards you while you covered yourself with the shirt you were about to put on. You slowly felt his hands creep over you waist and you flinched from the cold sensation.

"You always feel so warm," he whispered in your ear, now his hands going up further and his lips on your neck.

"Kaeya...I thought we were going out..."

"Haha we are, I just missed you too much. I'll be done soon..." you felt his smile on your neck and you closed your eyes. His hands, his lips, his voice, it made you realize how much you missed him too. You hung on to him waiting for Kaeya to be done with his little shenanigan. His hands and lips left your body suddenly which made you whine and he laughed.

"Shall we get going? Oh right, you still have to get dressed" he snickered.

"GET OUTT!" you shoved him out the door and he still kept laughing. You hated but loved his teasing. He hadn't even kiss your lips but you already felt so hot all over. As you put on your shirt, you hoped he'd give you more after dinner. Once you were fully dressed, you walked out the door with Kaeya.

"You look absolutely stunning" kaeya kiss your hand and you rolled your eyes, you loved him anyway.

"You better finish where you left off after you take me out." You looked at him in the eye and a smile tugged at his lips.

"Oh? After you were so embarrassed back there? Will you be able to handle it?" You playfully punched his shoulder and he laughed out.

"Are you done?" You said

"Yes yes, let's get going for real" he smiled and took your hand. You smiled back already forgetting what had happened to you.

[kenobis-kyber]

From The Stars

Ok we are back with another installment of this story. Once again thank you to those who have liked, commented and reblogged this labor of love. 

Rating: M for swearing, mentions of abuse, and smut in later chapters

Chapter 5

As weeks went by, Obi got even more used to this new life. Almost forgetting his former life, but he still meditated and practiced his lightsaber forms. He learned a wide variety of new things including cooking, driving a car, and small house repairs. It was enjoyable doing work with his own 2 hands though he did cheat with the force once in awhile. He shook his head and wondered what his master would say if he saw him now. Looking to the woman outside playing with her dog he also wondered how Qui Gon would think about the recent developments and her in general. He was sure he would tell him to mind his feelings and focus on the present. But she was in the current reality, he let out a sigh.

She played outside with Hershey, enjoying the sunshine and sweet wind. The brown dog came bounding back after retrieving a stick that she threw. He dropped it then tackled hair. She landed in the grass with a slight ‘oof’ She laughed as he began licking her face.

“You're such a goober boy.” she said wrestling around with him. He was the best companion the last few years, coming into her life at one of the darkest times. Her thoughts turned to the man in the house. The stranger from the stars, who had become one of her best friends. He was so full of warm and kindness. She felt bad that he couldn't find a way home, so she tried her best to make him at home. He took life on Earth pretty well, you would think he was a native. So many times did his ocean blue eyes haunt her dreams, in a good way of course. She loved his hugs and enjoyed the small touches she would give her. She often wondered what his lips would feel like against hers, but she shook her head of those thoughts, it was forbidden to him after all.

“Cmon boy lets go see what Obi is up to.” giving him a pat on the side.

Dusting herself off they both headed inside. When they opened up the door a delicious smell wafted into her nose. She walked into the kitchen and saw him in front of the stove.

“Mmmm that smells amazing. Whatcha cookin?” while washing her hands.

He turned to her and smiled a toothy grin.

“Nothing special just some pasta. Would you like to taste sauce?”

“Sure!”

He scooped some up on the spoon and held it out to her. She blew on it and he slowly brought it to her lips but before she could take a bite he bopped the spoon on her nose getting a bit of sauce on there.

“HEY!!!” she yelled “You ass!”

His gut erupted with laughter. Blue eyes twinkling with mirth. Grabbing his towel of his shoulder he reached over and wiped the sauce off.

“Sorry couldn't help myself. Here.” He was still laughing.

“I don't think I can trust you,” she said while grabbing the spoon and popping it into her mouth. Her eyes rolled back at the deliciousness of the sauce.

“Damn Obi you're becoming an amazing cook. This is so delicious.”

“Thank you very much. Now get off my kitchen so I can finish.” he said while shooing her away with the towel.

“Yeah..yeah.” she said giving him a rude gesture while walking out.

He laughed and shook his head returning to the task at hand, shaking his head with a small chuckle. She brought out a playful and mischievous side of him he hadn't tapped in since his youngling days. He served up dishes and called her to the table. They sat at the table enjoying the meal and talking about embarrassing stories. As the meal came to a close, Vanessa cleared the her throat.

“So I was thinking...summer is at an end, and we haven't really done any outside activities.”

“Oh? What is on your mind?” he said while wiping his mouth and looking at her curiously

“I was thinking you, Hershey and I should head out to the lake. Spend the day swimming, tubing and just hanging out, just you know... enjoy the weather.”

He reached over and put his hand on top of hers, “That sounds amazing. When?” he said with a little excitement in his voice.

“How about tomorrow. We can leave early….after your meditation of course.”

“Lets do it.”

“Alright. Sounds great! Ill start gathering things for tomorrow.”

“I cooked, now you clean up.” He said while leaning back with his hands behind his head with a smirk.

“Okay okay I am going” she said while grabbing some plates. “You're becoming such a smart ass. Been hanging around on Earth too long.”

Letting out a chuckle he got up and sat on the couch to watch TV. Hershey hopped up on the couch with him and put his head on his lap. Obi stroked his head. He had grown attached to the big dog, came to see it as his own. He never had any pets as it was forbidden to have attachments. He sighed thinking about it. He got accustomed to this life here. Well no matter, he was looking forward to tomorrow. A few minutes later Vanessa came into the room and they picked out a movie to watch and enjoyed the rest of the evening together.

The Next Day…

They both awoke early to pack the car for the day, looking forward to the day ahead. Hershey excitedly jumped in the car because he knew they were going for a car ride.

Loading in they headed to the lake. As they were driving the played music and Obi even sung along to the ones he had grown familiar with.

They finally arrived at their destination and Obi cheated and unloading everything with the force.

“Sometimes I forget you can do that. I thought the force wasn't a play thing, dear Jedi.”

“As long you don't tell on me.” he said bopping her nose.

“No promises.” She said with a chuckle.

Hershey settled him self on a blanket watching the pair. He knew he had to wait to go jumping in the lake for Vanessa. She started to strip off her shirt and shorts revealing a purple bikini. Obi stole a glance over to her not wanting to make it obvious. He swallowed taking in all of her curves and seeing a few scars littering her otherwise smooth skin. He groaned to himself as he imagined his hands running down every curve and paying special attention to the scars. He cleared his throat and looked away before she could see him.

She knew he was looking but didn't make a big deal out of it because she didn't want him to get embarrassed and part of her wanted him to. She knew she was far from perfect especially with the scars she has. She sighed trying not remember the cause of those scars. Reaching down she scratched her dog causing his tail to wag rapidly.

“Cmon boy!”

They started walking down to the lake.

“Hurry up Obi!!” yelling over shoulder.

“Yeah yeah.” He said while removing his pants and shirt. Now it was her time to watch. She hadn't seen him this exposed since finding him but didn't get a chance to really

appreciate the view. He was lean and cut, and had some dusting of chestnut hair down his chest leading down below his waistband. She licked her lips but quickly turned around before he could catch her. To cool her thoughts, she jumped in to the lake with her dog.  The water was cold but super refreshing. Soon Obi joined them with a splash. They playfully splashed around before he disappeared under the water. It had been awhile and she began to worry. Next thing she knew he appeared behind her scaring her.

“Jesus you asshole!” she exclaimed while he laughed. She reached over and dunked him and laughed at his misfortune. He sputtered as he came up for air.

“You're gonna pay for that.” he said with a devilish grin. He used the force to make a huge splash of water hit her from behind. The momentum pushed her right into him.

“No fair! You’re using the force again!,” she said mocking anger. All he could do is laugh like an idiot. Laying out on towels they enjoyed their small meal. She turned to him with a smile.

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

“Yes I am,” he said and took a bite of his sandwich. “I don’t think I’ve ever had this much fun.”

“Oh yeah? Well I am glad you have. I figure you should enjoy yourself while you are here.”

“I really am. Thank you Vanessa.” he said with a smirk and moved a piece of her hair from her face.

They enjoyed the day swimming, joking around and just plain enjoying the atmosphere. The drive home was uneventful as both were pretty wiped out from their day. Getting home they showered and met on the porch for their nightly ritual of drinking tea and relaxing.

They joked and talked like any other evening. She let out a yawn as she was getting tired. Her and Obi stood up at the same time to wish each other goodnight. Something was different, he felt a ripple in the force. When he felt that he looked down to stare into her eyes and was soon entranced. She licked her lips and leaned up and feeling bold, she she softly pressed her lips to his own. It was soft at first and quickly became more passionate and heated. He ran his hands up her arms but a sudden reality hit him. No attachments. He gently pushed at her biceps as much as he regretted it. Sensing the disappointment that rolled off of her, he took a deep breath. He couldn't look at her and instead looked to the ground. He swallowed.

“I am sorry. I cant. Its forbidden.” he whispered.

She felt as if her heart would shatter and held back tears. Unsure of what to do she also looked at the floor trying her best to keep the tears from falling.

“Its fine I understand.” She took a breath “Goodnight.” She turned and left suddenly, walking to get to her room before the tears fell. He dint touch her and let her be. She couldn't believe she made a fool of herself. He was untouchable, a monk so to speak. But she grew to care for him deeply. He was kind, funny, courteous and a beautiful soul inside and out. She laid in her bed silently crying before she fell asleep.

When she left he felt so much guilt. He didn't mean to hurt her. Walking into the house he sat on the couch and thought over what happened. She has been nothing but kind to him, and took care of him. She brought out his playful side and gave him a sense of peace. The last 6 months had been some of the best of his life. He did feel something for her but his vows wouldn't allow it. He couldn't understand why something that felt so right could be so wrong. Dropping his face in his hands, he tried to calm himself. And felt himself so lost as he felt a few tears roll down.

Tagging: @princessxkenobi @supermoschi @blondekel77 @ayamenimthiriel

[gustafsnightangel]

Shattered Lives Ch 29 Pt 2

The morning started like any other morning that they’d become accustomed to. Gustaf woke with Lily to let Sildie sleep in, he got the boys on their way to being ready for school, and turned the kettle on for tea before waking his woman. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her, that sated flush still in her cheeks from last night, those tantalizing curves that disappeared under the sheets, inviting.

“You could just kiss me you know.” She muttered into the pillow.

“I could.” He leaned over and kissed that one spot on her neck below her ear and grinned as she shivered.

“That’s playing dirty.” Her voice clearer as she rolled to look up at him. Damn she thought, he was so handsome with the face of a fallen angel.

“We don’t have time to play dirty kitten.” He growled and her chuckle was just as wicked. “You need to get up. Cases to slay, opposing counsel to roast.”

He pulled back the sheets and helped her up, concern etched on his face at her hiss.

“Just stiff and sore.” She hooked him under the chin so he’d look at her. “I’m ok. It’s more annoying than anything and totally worth it.” She kissed him, long and slow, tongue teasing.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” He said wistfully.

“I know.”

“Tea?” He asked as he helped her to stand.

“Please.” She gingerly walked to the shower and he decided he’d give her a massage tonight if she was still sore, he’ll he might just give her one regardless. An oiled up Sildie, he thought and felt his cock twitch.

The hot water was bliss. She was sore, stiff, and a little tender between her legs. A few bruises had bloomed on her wrists and behind her knees where he’d gripped her but she was ok with it. It would be her secret reminder throughout the day of what he’d done to her. Seeing him last night in the throes of ecstasy not constantly on guard for fear of hurting her was liberating, and she hoped he felt the same way. She didn’t want it like that every night but sometimes a woman needed her man to just fucking rail her until she couldn’t function.

She never ceased to take his breath away. Navy suit, ice blue shirt to match those incredible eyes, and six inch heels, she’d be taller than him today. He whistled out a breath as she came toward him. “Damn Sildie, I don’t know if you can go out looking like that.” He said honestly.

“Why not, what’s wrong with it?” She asked seriously, wondering if there was a stain or something she wasn’t seeing.

“Because I’m going to have to beat the male population off you with a bat.” He smirked. “You look stunning. And tall.” He tipped his head back a little at the two inch height difference and kissed her. “Mmm I could get used to this.”

“Well don’t, these heels are killer on my feet.” She chuckled.

“I want to see you in them later with whatever delectable black lace you have on under there.” He purred at her ear and gently nipped her lobe.

“Maybe tomorrow I’m a little tender.” She said honestly and his eyes snapped to hers.

“I hurt you.” Fear and anger seared through him, not at Sildie but himself. Well yes and at Sildie for not stopping him.

“No, I’m just a little tender. It felt fine last night while we were doing it and I’m not in pain that I need medical help or medication. I’m just a little tender.” Her hands cupped his face and her kiss loving and sweet.

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.” She kissed him again. “Give me a few days and I’ll have you do it all over again.” She quipped and sauntered off to the table to eat breakfast as the twins came out to get their lunches. He placed her tea beside her and bent to kiss her ear.

“I liked it Sildie but we won’t do it again, not if it hurts you.”

“I’m ok, honestly.” She kissed him again and offered him a strawberry which he ate and kissed her finger. “And besides, I asked you to do it, wanted you to. Trust that I know the limits of my own body ok? I know the thought of you hurting me freaks you out but this is normal soreness after a rough round. It’s nothing I haven’t had before.” She’d had worse actually, the no foreplay to speak of, jam it in, ride her hard, come, and leave. Yeah, she thought bitterly, she’d dated assholes.

“Thank you for telling me.” His fingers trailed her cheek.

“Of course.”

“Can I bring you lunch today?”

“I’d like that but as always if you’re busy let me know and I’ll get my own.” She said honestly, she wasn’t going to force it, plans changed.

“I like our lunch dates.”

“Me too.”

“Do you want to take my car and I take the kids to school in the other one?” He asked sipping his tea. “That way you can relax for another thirty minutes before heading out.”

“Do you want to?” She had to give a little here and she knew it, but still felt guilty.

“I do.”

“Ok then.” She nodded and he bent down to kiss her sweetly.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“I’m trying.” She said stroking a hand down his arm.

“I know. I love you Sildie.”

“I love you too.”

He kissed her again quickly. “Ok kids let’s go.” He called out and ushered them out the door after they hugged Sildie goodbye for the day.

She sat there in the silence and it felt odd. The change in routine, her being here alone. She ate the rest of her breakfast, grabbed her bag and headed out. She couldn’t sit in the silence or she’d loose her fucking mind.

His morning went quickly. After dropping the kids at school and daycare he went back to Sildie’s apartment and got the shopping list together. Visiting his own apartment he made sure everything was in working order and that he had his list of last minute items for Sildie’s birthday. By the time he’d seen to the shopping, which thankfully wasn’t much, it was nearly lunch time and he wasn’t missing his lunch date for anything.

He’d become addicted to his lunch dates with her. It was time where they could talk about serious adult stuff, chew over a problem, or just cuddle on the couch and have that closeness he found he craved. He decided on Pho, she needed something light and warm, and he still felt like an asshole at making her ache physically. She was right though, he had to trust her to know the limitations of her body, had he hurt her last night she would have stopped him. Ache and tenderness was one thing, pain was another and he had to be ok with her judgment. “Her body, her decision.” He muttered as he took the elevator up to her office.

“Hello Vera.” He said gently, knowing her admin would fall all over him given half the chance. “How are you?”

“Hello.” She squeaked.

“Can I go back?” He asked pointing to Sildie’s office and she nodded her head instead of trying to talk to him.

“Gustaf.” He turned to see Sildie standing at the door smirking. He grinned and headed her way, his long legs eating up the carpet.

“I thought I told you to stop breaking my admin.” She chuckled.

“All I said was hello, how are you.” He said as she shut the door and he pressed her against it gently kissing her. “I missed you. The weekend wasn’t enough.”

Her low chuckle made him grin. Kicking back on her sofa he went about arranging their meal while she finished reading through the paperwork in her hand. When lunch was ready he looked up at her to see her brow knit in concentration.

“What are you working on?” He asked rising to his feet and walking to her. If he had to he’d sit her on the sofa himself and spoon feed her.

“Sorry. It’s my will and EPA.” She tossed it on her desk and the pen with it and blew a breath out. “I’m modifying a copy to include you.” She said stiffly, the topic wasn’t a comfortable one but she wanted it done.

“Hey.” He soothed pulling her into his arms. “Do you need me to do anything?”

“Not yet. Once I’ve figured all the legal shit out I’ll go through it with you but for now I have I do it.” He didn’t like the quaver in her voice, grief and tears were imminent.

“Bring it home with you tonight and we can go through it together.”

“You can’t help yet I’ll do...” His kiss silenced her.

“Bring it home, then you can cry and get it out of your system and we can tackle it together, ok?” He held her, long fingers stroking her back in soothing patterns.

“Ok.”

“Come and eat. I got Pho because I know it’s a favorite.” He brushed the tear that started to fall away before it could streak her makeup. “Together love.”

She nodded. “Ok, sorry, I thought I could get through this bit of it on my own.”

They sat and ate, discussing the finer details of the Enduring Power of Attorney even though it made her feel ill.

“I’m going to set it up similarly to how Dana and Quinn had theirs. The fact it’s been through court once will be in your favor if Dana’s family try to fight for custody again. They only want custody to access the trust funds but what they don’t realize is those things are iron clad and they can’t access the lump sum, I can’t even access it.”

“Trust funds?” He asked gently.

“Everything that wasn’t bequeathed to the five of us was sold at auction, the house put on the market, cars sold, my old car was Dana’s because I needed transportation for the five of us and I had nothing but the rental. They set up trust funds for each of the kids and a fund for what I like to call housekeeping. It’s supposed to be for the kids day to day expenses but I decided to pay for it my own way and roll that fund over into their separate trust funds.” She said and he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her.

“You’re remarkable, you know that right?” He said honestly.

She looked at him puzzled.

“You put them first, always love. You didn’t have to do that but you did because you figured that the money belongs to the kids, and you’re right, it does. You’re an amazing person. Lesser people would have bled that fund dry.” Fuck he loved her, this compassionate soul, so giving.

“Dana’s family would have and it’s one of the reasons I did it, especially when it looked as though they were going to win the case. Sure it makes it harder on me financially but there was no way in hell I was letting them get their filthy paws on that money. The kids will inherent a portion at eighteen, twenty one, twenty five, and thirty. And it’s set up in such a way they have to justify their spending not just blow it on candy and video games.” He chuckled at her quip. “You know what I mean.”

“I do. They’re very lucky to have you Sildie.”

“I have to give you authority to change those trusts if and when the time comes to reinvest etc. I need to protect them so there will be a few additional clauses.” She was nervous. Money changed things and she didn’t want it affecting their relationship.

“I understand love. You do what you need to do to see them taken care of. I’ll make sure it’s done and followed to the letter.”

“I also need you to sign a pre nuptial of sorts.” She said biting her bottom lip and her heart sank at his raised eyebrow. “As we practically live together and one day we may, the courts see that as a binding agreement of de facto relationship, which IF we were to split you would be entitled to fight for your share of my income.” Her voice had gone so quiet it scared him.

“Sildie I...”

“Please let me finish.” She choked and he took her hand in his, the soothing strokes of his thumb over her inner wrist urging her to continue. “I lost damn near everything with Michael, including my sanity, and it took me years to recover. That was when I was single with no kids. For argument sake say we split, not only would it kill me, I have four kids to support and I can’t risk being in that financial hole again.” She held her breath, this may have been the tipping point, this was where he left. “I can’t risk their lives.”

“I understand.” It was a shock to the system but he understood. “Draw it up and I’ll have my lawyer look at it.”

“I’ll sign one for you too if you need it. I’m not like that but I’ll sign it if that’s what you...” She started.

“I don’t want one.” He said softly. “In fact I need to do a will that states it all goes to the kids and you.”

“Gustaf no, you have family.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“I do. Not only does it consist of my siblings who are financially independent, I have you and four kids to think about now.”

“I can’t.” She choked. “I can’t let you do that.” He kissed her sweetly.

“My money love.” He silenced her with a finger. “I love you and I plan on spending the rest of my days with you, however long that is. I want everything to go to you.”

“You’re right it is your choice, but I don’t have to like it.” She huffed.

“No you don’t but it’s going to happen regardless, just as yours is.” He kissed her again. “I don’t want to fight about this, we’ve been over it before.” He said gently. He wouldn’t get worked up over it because if he did that she’d dig her heels in and any chance of negotiation would be done.

“It’s not quite the same.” She huffed.

“No it’s not.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek and kissed her tenderly. “Leave it for now, bring it home and we can sort though it some more ok?”

“Ok.” She sighed. “It’s just so elaborate but it has to be.”

“Yes it does. You have to cover all bases and asses.”

“Now you’re sounding like a lawyer.” Her laugh set him at ease.

“I think you’re rubbing off on me.” He growled.

“I’m rubbing something.” She quipped and he laughed as her hand snaked along his thigh to palm him gently. She kissed him sweetly. “Thanks for lunch.”

“Same time tomorrow?” He asked knowing it was her birthday and she’d want to withdraw.

“Sure.” She shrugged, confirming his suspicions. Damn it she thought, tomorrow she’d just wanted to get to work and lock her door.

“I promise I won’t make a big deal about it here ok?” He said tenderly. “I just want to be here with you.” She nodded and leaned against him.

“How was kid drop off this morning?”

“Happy and issue free, though Lily didn’t want me to leave.” He smiled. “I felt bad and almost took her home with me.” His chuckle was sheepish like he’d been caught stealing cookies. “Tears me apart when she cry’s like that.”

He was such a sweet beautiful soul, she thought. Her hand gently cupped his face, fingers toying with the longer scruff that sat there now and kissed him. “I love you.” Love him for being the incredibly kind man he was, with so much compassion.

“Love you too.” He looked at her. She seemed sad today and knew that the grief had already started to creep in. “Can you take tomorrow off? Maybe work from home?” He asked gently.

She shook her head. “I need to be here, life has to go on.”

“True, but it can go on behind closed doors at home tomorrow if you need it to. Doesn’t mean you’re hiding, or not dealing with it. You just need to a safe space to process it.” She’d push herself, he thought. She’d push it until she broke. “You have nothing to prove to anyone Sildie. If you want to shut the rest of the world out tomorrow then do it, just don’t shut me out ok?”

“Would you like a tea?” Anything to change the subject.

“Sure, please.” He watched her walk away, her birthday already heavy in her mind, and once again he was going to have to battle with her to be kind to herself. “Just like the anniversary.” He mumbled. “That’s the only way we’re getting through this tomorrow.”

She came back with tea in hand and set them on the table before shutting the door. As she sat he snaked an arm around her and pulled her close, the soothing strokes up and down her spine forcing her body to capitulate and relax.

“Brendan’s excited about tonight.” She said softly. “You sure you’re ok with the four of them and a live tree?”

“It’ll be fine and fun. The twins are a little unsure but it’s just new I think more than anything.” He kissed her temple and picked up his tea. “I haven’t had a live tree in years, thought it would be something different for them.”

“I’m sorry I’m not more into it.” She said quietly.

“It’s ok.” His hand took a hold of her and he brought it to his lips before kissing her fingers. “It’s rough for all of you, I’m just trying to ease the way for you to get through it.”

“The kids need it, they need normal, they need a childhood filled with happy memories and I’m struggling to do that for them.” She said and sipped her tea.

“Sildie look at me.” He said gently. When her eyes met his he wanted to cry with the amount of grief he saw. “You’re doing just fine with them. They’re happy for the most part, they’re still grieving too love, it’s not easy in any of you.” He kissed her softly. “It takes time, we’ll get through it together. You and me.”

“I know I just feel like I’m dragging them down with me sometimes.” She huffed and forced the tears to stop before she turned into a blubbering mess.

“You’re not. You actually hide it from them pretty well. Except for Brendan. He knows and out of all of them he gets it.” He kissed her tenderly. “Take tomorrow off, cut yourself a break. I’ll drop the kids off and you can sleep all day if that’s what you need. Sometimes you need to just hunker down and let it pass, let it roll over the top of you and start again the next day.” He was worried, she could hear it in his voice.

“I’ll see.” She said sipping her tea.

Stubborn to a fault, he thought, and left it at that, he couldn’t push and he’d already pushed enough. Her answer wasn’t a flat out no.

A polite knock at the door saved her from having to think about her damn birthday any further.

“Come in.” She called and Vera poked her head in.

“You’re two o’clocks here Sildie.” She said softly and her eyes darted to Gustaf before landing back on her boss. “He’s a little early.”

“I’ll be right out, thanks.” Sildie said and Vera evaporated with only the snick of the door in her wake.

“I swear I only said hello.” Gustaf grinned.

“I know.” She chuckled. “That girl has it so bad for you.” He actually blushed and her smirk only made it worse. “Mind you I can see exactly why.” She purred. “I have it pretty bad for you too.” Her kiss was nothing short of earth shattering and if they hadn’t been in her office he would have stripped her down to that black lace and heels, bent her over her, and fucked her until she was screaming.

“Don’t tease kitten.” He growled, kissing her just as fiercely. “What time are you home?” His lips brushing the softness of her cheek.

“I’ll leave at five, normal time. I’ll have a bit of reading to do tonight.”

“Any preference for whats for dinner?”

“As long as it’s not pizza for the kids I’m not fussed.” She smirked.

“No, they got their weekly pizza last night.” He kissed her again, that slow burn full of love. “Although that won’t stop them from trying.”

“You sure you’re ok with them tonight?” She asked again, the guilt settling into her gut.

“I’m sure. I’m looking forward to it actually.” Her wall clock chimed two and his time with her was up. “I’ll see you tonight lovely lady.” He stood and offered her a hand to stand.

She walked him out, the quick peck of her cheek making her blush from head to toe.

“I love you.” He murmured before kissing her again.

“Bye love.” She whispered, her look was as close as he was going to get to an I love you too in public.

She watched him walk to the elevator while relaying instructions to Vera. That tall lean body eating up the distance. Fuck me, she thought, the man was nothing short of delicious. No wonder her admin had such a difficult time around him. She greeted her client and walked him back, the afternoon well on its way to being done.

He loaded the car up with children and laughter at three when school finished for the day. Three excited boys chattering as he drove, the little lady happily joining in. They talked about past Christmas’s with their parents, the decorating, the ornaments, the hot chocolate on Christmas Eve. The kids were a little sad talking about it but it was good for him to know what their memories were so he could make sure to continue them.

“Ok, here’s the ground rules.” He said as they pulled up at the tree farm. “Absolutely no wandering off. If I go home a kid short Ama will kill me.” He said honestly and Liam chuckled.

“Can we get a really big tree?” Finn asked as they climbed out.

“We can get whatever will fit in the apartment. I’m not cutting a hole in the ceiling for the star.” Gustaf laughed as he unbuckled Lily from her seat. With ten foot ceilings they could get a pretty substantial tree. He put Lily in the stroller and with Finn in one hand, Liam in the other, Brendan pushed Lily and they set off in the search of the perfect tree.

Stopping for hot chocolate at the little booth Gustaf felt overwhelmed with love. These kids weren’t his by blood or marriage, yet he was so akin to them, connected to them. Four kids that had lost their parents, lost their entire world, and here they were with him shopping for a big ass Christmas tree like it was as normal as breathing. Every morning when he woke up he was thankful that a shopping bag broke and he had the balls to say hello. Had he not stopped to help Sildie, he wouldn’t be here with these bright souls now.

“What about that one?” Finn said pointing off to the far right and tugging at Gustaf’s hand.

“Go show me which one.” He said letting the kid jog off to the tree he’d spotted as the rest of them walked over. “What does the tag say Finn?” They had come to realize a few trees into their search that each tree had a tag saying what it was and how tall it was, roughly.

“Silver Fir, eight feet.” He craned his neck back to look at the very top of the tree. “I like this one.” He said quietly.

“It’s a good tree.” Brendan said. “There’s lots of branches to hang ornaments on. Not like the other one I found.” He chuckled. The other one he’d found was great on one side but sparse on the other. Another Gustaf found looked more like the one from Charlie Brown.

“How does it look on the other side Liam?” Gustaf asked, content to stand back and let the boys decide. This was more for them than him anyway. He pulled Lily up into his arms when she started to fuss and walked over so she could touch the tree. “And what do you think little lady?” He asked, kissing her causing her to squeal.

“The other side looks good.” Liam said excitedly.

“Will it fit?” Brendan looked at Gustaf.

“Height wise yes, eight feet will fit. It’s the base I’m worried about.” He chuckled. “It’s wider than I was expecting.” He thought about it for a moment. Worse case scenario is he could put it in his apartment. “You guys like this one?” They all nodded. “Absolutely sure?” Their collective yes and excited jumping from the twins was enough for him. “Brendan do you want to go find the guy with the axe?”

“Sure.” The teen jogged off to find the gardener, or was that tree farmer, he wondered?

With the tree down and loaded onto the truck, it would be delivered shortly after they got home. Gustaf sweetened the deal to have it there tonight so they could have it ready for tomorrow. It was 4:30 by the time they made their way home and only just beat the delivery truck.

With homework forgotten for the moment they cleaned and tidied the corner of the living area near the window ready for the tree. It would be a tight squeeze and Gustaf would have to trim the back of it so it would fit, but they had the tree the kids had chosen which was far more important. Once it was in place he looked to the top and saw it just brush the ceiling.

“So not eight foot but ten.” He chuckled. He’d have some more trimming to do.

They were cleaning up the mess of needles after trimming and ’making’ the tree fit when he heard the key in the door. He’d never tire of her coming home to him every night. The kids rushed to her excitedly and all started chattering at once.

He whistled sharply seeing she was suddenly overwhelmed and the kids stopped cold. “Let her get in the door boys.” He said gently and crossed to her taking her bag, the tender kiss relaxing her shoulders. Gustaf could see she hadn’t had time to throw her emotional defenses up and needed a minute to get it together. He handed her bag to Brendan and he took it to the table. Without a word he helped her out of her coat and hung it beside the door.

“We found a tree Ama.” Liam said, bright eyes sparkled up at her.

“You did?” She tried so hard to be excited and wasn’t sure if she’d pulled it off.

“Deep breath.” Gustaf murmured at her ear before kissing her just below it. She did as instructed and found the warmth of his body against hers as his arm came around her was all she needed to bury her grief deeply. The kids needed this. The connection to Gustaf, to their parents, and she wouldn’t let her own sadness take that from them too.

“Come seeee.” Liam tugged on her hand.

She almost stopped dead. The tree was massive and took up half her living room. “That’s a big tree.” She chuckled.

“Finn found it.” Brendan said as he walked behind Lily who was b lining straight for Sildie with a mum mum falling from her lips.

“You did?” She looked down at Finn as he nodded, scooping Lily into her arms.

“It’s a pretty tree.” She reached out to touch a branch. “I’d forgotten how good they smell.” She said wistfully.

“You’ve had a live tree before?” Liam asked in awe.

“When we were kids, yeah. My dad would take us out to find one.” How could she have forgotten that? After their parents died she’d never had a live tree again, neither had Quinn by the sounds of it.

He heard the tears just under the surface and snaked an arm around her waist as he stood behind her. Kissing her temple he lingered, hoping that just being close would help her.

“Well you guys found a really special tree. I love it.” She hugged the twins close when they attached themselves to her thigh.

“Can we decorate it?” Liam asked.

“I think that’s the plan for tomorrow night.” She said gently.

“Tomorrow Liam.” Gustaf said softly. “Let the tree settle a little and I’ll make sure the lights are on and everything’s set up when you guys get home ok?”

“Ok.” He said a little deflated.

“Alright. Homework you guys. Back to the normal grind.” He chuckled as the twins groaned and headed to their room. Brendan just went and took care of business, the kid knew Sildie wouldn’t let him skate on homework, quite literally. Bad grades equaled no hockey, not negotiable.

“Would you like a tea?” He asked gently, she was very quiet and her nod was the only answer. Kissing her jaw he left his two best girls to look at the tree. He watched her as the kettle boiled. Lily reaching out to touch the branches, the soft murmur of Sildie’s voice. This had hit her harder than he was prepared for and he should have been.

“It’s a pretty tree miss Lily.” She said quietly, snuggling the girl close so she could kiss her head. “Just like the ones your daddy and I use to find when we were kids.”

That explained a lot, he thought, as he brought the tea to the table.

“Your daddy found the best trees.” She sniffed and swiped the tears away. Lily looked up at her and hugged her around the neck. The kid knew she was upset.

She felt his massive chest at her back, those strong arms cocoon her and Lily, her sweet man that had taken the kids tree shopping.

“My two best girls.” He said gently, the kiss to the nape of her neck making that loving warmth spread throughout her body. “I’m sorry it upset you.”

“No, it’s fine.” She said quickly. “They needed this. I’m the one who should be sorry, for bailing.” She turned in his arms to look at him. “I should have been there too but I just...”

His tender kiss cut her off.“It’s ok.”

“No, it’s not. I should be making memories with them too, but it’s all too painful.” She was angry at herself for being so far in her own head she’d shut them out.

“Mum mum mum.” Lily cooed quietly and hugged her again.

“She knows you’re upset.” He smiled.

“Yeah.”

“You can’t be everywhere or do everything yourself love. This is a difficult time for all of you. Just go with the flow, ok?” He kissed her, that deep love pouring from him, willing her to heal. “One day, one moment at a time.” He kissed her again and led her to the table. “Sit and drink your tea while I get dinner started.”

“You’re too good to me.” She kissed him sweetly.

“I have nowhere I have to be until February. Nearly three whole months of domestic bliss with you and the kids. I’m loving it.” He grinned and left her to drink her tea and entertain Lily.

Dinner was full of Christmas tree talk, decorating it, decorating the apartment. She decided to let the boys have free reign. They were happy and excited which was more than what they were last year. She knew there would be tears but for these moments of joy and happiness she had to suck it up for them.

With the nightly routine done, children in bed, she settled at the table to start her work, her mind more on tomorrow than the deposition in front of her. Part of her wanted to hide away as Gustaf had suggested but she couldn’t, she had a job to go to and responsibilities. That’s for tomorrow, she thought. She had to get her head into the work in front of her and block the rest out.

She was well into lawyer land as he stood behind her. The slight flinch as he rested his hands on her shoulders to massage the rocks that had taken up residence there telling him how far down the rabbit hole she was.

“Let it be done.” He said gently. “It’s ten and you need sleep.” He kissed the top of her head and lingered, breathing in that scent that calmed and soothed.

“Ok.” She breathed out. She wasn’t going to fight him on it, not today, she was already beat to hell.

“Ok?” Was there a catch, he wondered? That was too easy.

“Yeah.”

He sat and took her hand.

“I’m tired and already beat to hell. I think I’ve read the same paragraph four times now.” She huffed as she started to pack it all away.

“Fair enough.” He took her hand again and kissed her fingers. “Up early for birthday pancakes?”

“Yep.” Her half smile told him she really didn’t want it.

“Can you go in a little later tomorrow?” He asked wondering whether to show her the office before or after work.

“No, I have a nine o’clock I can’t get out of.” She said, and had made sure she had something on tomorrow she had to be there for.

“I’ll make it work.” He brushed his knuckles down her cheek and his thumb caught the stray tear. “Sildie.”

“Don’t, I’m fine.” She sniffed shaking her head and swiping the tears away. “Just an emotional fucking basket case.” Her huffed chuckle sharp. “I’m going to take a shower and pass out.” She said getting to her feet.

“Hey.” He said catching her arm and pulling her to him. “Don’t go where I can’t follow love. Don’t shut me out.”

“I’m not I just need to get a fucking grip. I can’t spend the entire day falling apart.” She wasn’t angry at him, just irritated at herself.

“You can’t lock it away either.” His tone gentle as he played with the loose strands of molten copper at her jaw. “I’m right here love, and you know you’re safe to lose your shit with me.”

“I know, I just, I’m tired of it.” She breathed out, resting her forehead against his.

“I know you are, but your not alone this time.” He cupped her face in his hand and kissed her. The soft moan from her as he deepened it made him smile.

“Maybe you should just kiss me like that all day tomorrow so I can’t think or function.” She mumbled against his mouth.

“If you stay home I’ll do my best.” His sly smirk making her chuckle.

“Oh that’s not fair.” She said grinning.

“Go shower and get into bed. I’ll give you a preview.” He growled, his kiss slow and sinful, he knew how to blank her mind. He’d use sex to take her mind off it, whatever she needed he would give it to her, without question.

Once he heard the shower start he locked up, turned the lights out and headed to the bedroom. He lit a few candles, mainly for their calming scent more than light but the soothing ambiance would be a plus. He sat propped up against the headboard, stripped naked, reading his book by the time she opened the door.

He watched her check on Lily before climbing into bed and sighing out at the bliss of being horizontal. Marking his page he closed his book and set it on the floor away from the candles on the nightstand.

“How tender or sore are you?” He asked seriously as he rolled to press her into the mattress.

“A little stiff but the tenderness is gone.” She said honestly.

“You’re sure?” His tone made certain there was no misunderstanding, he wasn’t fucking around.

“Gustaf I won’t lie to you about that. Believe me it’s no fun having sex when you’re still tender down there. Been there done that and don’t plan on repeating it.” She looked up at him and frowned. “Is that mistletoe on the headboard?” She asked a little surprised.

“It is.” He grinned wickedly.

“Oh you’re a sneaky one.” Her smile was worth it.

“Just prepared.” He kissed her tenderly. “Now I have no choice but to kiss you all night.”

“I need to sleep sometime.” She said letting her hands roam his chest, she loved the feel of him.

“You’ll get your solid six, it’s early.” He murmured against her lips. “Don’t think, just feel.” He whispered as those lips devoured hers.

His mouth claimed her, every delicious inch of her. Raking the sheets from her curves his fingers roamed, tender, gentle. Tonight was not the night to fuck her senseless, she needed care and tenderness. He took his time, in no hurry to blow his load and go to sleep, like so many of her previous partners. Gentle fingers aroused her skin, toyed with her nipples, while his mouth, that clever mouth kissed, licked, and sucked those points he knew rendered her slightly non functional.

“Roll over.” He murmured and guided her to her stomach with a finger trailing her hip.

He straddled her legs and she moaned as the warm oil dribbled down her spine. His hands slipped through the oil and kneaded the muscles in her back, her shoulders and neck, her hips and thighs, thumbs digging into the base of her ass causing her to groan. Tenderness flowed from him, soothing, relaxing. He softly rolled her and tended her thighs and arms, the arousing touch against her breasts, his gaze on hers.

Her body ached for him, pussy throbbing with the thought of him inside her as he claimed her mouth.

She surprised him when she rolled him over, her curtain of copper falling around them.

“My goddess.” He breathed. “You’re so beautiful love.” His fingers tangled in her hair and he slowly brought her face to his, eyes roaming as if it was the last time he’d ever see her. It was those kisses that sucker punched her. The release of a deep overwhelming love he had for her flooding her system. “My Sildie.” He said softly. “My home.”

“I love you.” She murmured, her hand resting over his heart. “Every part of you.”

She’d turned the tables on him but let her lead. Her emotional state tonight wouldn’t handle him flipping her and continuing with his plan, she needed to give, to feel as if she had control not only of herself but of the current situation. He’d made love to her so many times, she wanted to show him she could give him that too.

Her kisses were sweet, caresses gentle. Fingers explored the contours of his shoulders, his chest, her lips pressing against those spots that set off fireworks in his brain. She moved so she was laying between his legs, his hardening shaft pressed against her belly as she kissed him. That kiss he thought, it was nothing short of sinful erotic seduction.

“I love it when you kiss me like that.” He murmured, the fingers in her hair tightening slightly urging her to take more, to kiss him again. She didn’t disappoint, that lip lock made his cock twitch and a soft groan rumble in his throat.

“Bring your knees up.” She said softly and guided each knee up so he could draw it back either side of his chest, pressed against his body. She knelt and spread her knees wide keeping her feet together, virtually straddling his thighs, her hips almost resting against the underside of his knees, his feet resting on her hips. Placing her hands on his chest to support herself she reached between them stroking his cock before positioned his tip at her entrance. She felt his large hands grip her thighs and ass as she slowly took him in.

“Sildie.” He groaned out as she buried him deep. She was wet, hot, and deliciously tight like this.

Using her hands on his chest, her thighs for purchase she started to ride him, the slow rise and fall bringing him nearly all the way out before bottoming him out inside her. His hands took some of the weight and pressure off her legs by gripping her ass, the grind against his pelvis enough to brush her clit sending sparks through her system.

He’d never had a woman take him in the Amazon position before, most hadn’t been adventurous enough or willing to take control, that’s where Sildie was different. She found her rhythm, slow and torturous, as maddening as it was, it was blowing his fucking mind.

She was a sight, that halo of copper cascading down over her breasts, nipples standing in hard peaks from her arousal, plump ripe breasts bouncing slightly with her movement, those curves moving on him, claiming him. His hands tightened on her ass as she took him, her pussy delightfully tight around his cock.

She watched him, that handsome face loose with arousal, his eyes glazed and full of pleasure as she sank back down on him. God he felt so huge, she thought, the angle and his thickness caressing her most intimate places. She bent down and kissed him, his mouth hot and hungry for hers.

“I want to watch you come.” He said, his voice rough and husky as he pulled her onto him a little firmer this time so her clit made contact with his pelvic bone.

She changed her rhythm slightly, his hands more forceful but not painful and found herself cresting, her release close. She lost herself to the feel of his hands at her ass, his cock sliding in and out of her, the look of desire in those ocean blue eyes. She rode him until she shattered, her body writhing on top of him, hands gripping his forearms as she tossed her head back and the soft cry of his name filled the room.

“Sildie.” He gasped. He didn’t last, the moment her pussy spasmed around him he was falling into bliss with her. The slow erotic ride too much for his system to withstand. She slowed to a stop after riding them both through their pleasure to prolong it as long as possible, his hands held her to him tightly as she collapsed on his chest and kissed him over his heart.

She was content to stay right there, sweaty and sated with his cock still inside her. Leaning up she kissed him sweetly.

“I love you and I love your moves.” Chest still heaving as he caught his breath. “No ones taken me for that particular ride before.” His kiss was long and soft.

“I love riding you.” She said, giving a quick kiss before climbing off him carefully. He snuggled her in and found her mouth with his.

“You can ride me anytime kitten.” He kissed her tenderly, drawing it out for as long as he could. He couldn’t seem to kiss her enough today. “You need sleep love.”

“I do.” She yawned. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You need sleep, so sleep.” He leaned over to take care of the candles and once the room was at its usual glow of Lily’s night light he curled her in and felt her drop into sleep. He followed soon after, the weight of tomorrow heavy on his mind.

******************

@hausofobsession @ill-skillsgard @grandpa-sweaters @authentic90skidd @tuckersgirl @fairlyfallacy @flowers-in-your-hayr @raewritesfiction @stinkerbelle007 @kamie-b @mrsaugustwalker @skrsgardspam @loliwrites @trippedmetaldetector

[cynicalrainbows]

The Next Best Thing Chapter 14

Cathy gets some over-the-phone grief counselling from her godmother.

**

The relief of hearing Catalina- very obviously alive and well and not at all dead- is so much that upon hearing it, she bursts into tears and can’t do anything more than sob into the phone. 

She can hear Catalina saying ‘Hello? Hello?’ in a voice that is sounding more and more worried and it makes her feel guilty, but she’s also crying too hard to speak properly.

‘Hello? Cathy? Mija, is that you?’

‘Ye-es-’ 

Her voice comes out all wobbly.

‘What’s the matter, querida? Are you alright? Are you hurt?’ Catalina is sounding seriously panicked now but she can’t answer, not yet.

‘Are you on your own? Is there someone with you?’

She nods and then realises that of course Catalina can’t hear her.

‘Ye-es-’

‘Can you let me talk to them for a minute, mija? I’ll be very very quick, alright?’

She doesn’t really want to give Anna the phone at all- Catalina is her godmother, not Anna’s, and she doesn’t feel like sharing- but she isn’t sure what else to do so she pushes the receiver at Anna who looks a bit confused but takes it anyway.

‘Hello?’

There’s buzzing on the other end of the phone but she can’t hear anything.

‘I’m Anna. I’m Cathy’s friend. Are you Catalina?’

There’s a pause.

‘I think she’s ok.’

Anna turns to her. ‘You’re not sick or hurt, are you Cathy?’

She shakes her head. She really wants Anna to give her the phone back.

‘She isn’t. She said she wants to come home…….No, everyone else is asleep.’

There’s another pause. Anna says ‘yes’ a couple more times and ‘thank you’ and then ‘yes’ again.

Cathy’s still juddering with sobs and she’s shivering a bit in the drafty hall and she’s regretting letting Anna talk her into this because she isn’t feeling any better at all AND now she’s cold on top of everything...but then Anna passes the phone back to her and sits down cross legged on the carpet.

‘She asked if I would stay with you if I’m not too tired, or wake up Anne’s Mum if I am’ She says, to Cathy’s confused look, and then shrugs. ‘I’m not too tired so I’ll stay.’

Cathy is very, very glad Anna hasn’t opted to wake Anne’s Mum, but there isn’t time to say anything because Catalina’s voice is in her ear again and now she doesn’t sound worried or panicky at all.

‘Hello again mija.’

 It’s the voice that wakes her from nightmares. The tight bands around her chest start to loosen the tiniest bit.

‘Hello-’

Her own voice is very small and teary.

‘What’s the matter, querida? Anna said you were feeling a little bit homesick?’

Homesick is a small, silly insubstantial word for the crushing despair that’s settled heavily upon her, and it doesn’t even touch the anguish of wondering whether or not Catalina is alright, nor the terrible guilt over her parents….but she half nods into the phone anyway.

‘I want to be at home. I want to be at home now.’

She sounds like a baby but she can’t help it. She doesn’t even really care that Anna is listening.

‘Oh querida’ Catalina’s voice is velvety soft and very, very gentle. ‘It’s hard being away from home sometimes, isn’t it?’

‘Yes, it’s horrible.’ She’s quite relieved Catalina isn’t telling her not to be so silly or asking how she can be homesick when she hasn’t even been gone a full day yet. ‘Everything feels wrong.’

‘I know. It’s awful when it all hits at once.’

She sounds like she really does know, which is a bit of a surprise.

‘I used to get it very, very badly.’

‘When?’

‘I think the worst was when I first came to England.’ Cathy knows about that- about how Catalina came to England when she was very young to get married but how the man she was meant to marry died before it could happen. ‘But when I went to university- that was all a very hard time, at first.’

‘But that was when you were grown up.’

‘You can get homesick at any age, mija.’

She isn’t sure if she likes the idea that she might feel like this again- but she does like the way that Catalina sounds so matter of fact about everything, like she isn’t making a silly fuss over nothing.

‘Did you cry?’

‘Sometimes.’

She contemplates this unexpected revelation. ‘I want to come home,’ she says, and just saying it makes her throat all tight and her voice wobbly again because she does want to go home, she wants to be at home so very much-

 Catalina sighs.

‘I can come and get you querida-’

‘Yes please-’

‘But that means I’ll have to hang up the phone to drive, so how about-’ There’s a rustling as if Catalina is moving around ‘How about we talk for a while, just until you’re a little bit calmer, alright mija? And then I’ll come?’

She opens her mouth to say no, that she needs Catalina to come now- but she also doesn't want to hang up the phone, and perhaps Catalina can read her mind.

‘I’d rather not hang up until I’m sure you’re alright mija, I would feel very uncomfortable about leaving you alone in such a state. Is that alright with you?’

She doesn't really want Catalina to go so she gulps out a yes.

‘Then that’s what we’ll do. Now…. What’s got you feeling homesick mija? Did something happen?’

‘Not really…’ She isn’t sure, so she settles for ‘Anne doesn’t shut her curtains.’

Catalian clicks her tongue. ‘Ah! Yes, I should have thought of that- I could have mentioned it to Anne’s Mum. Sorry mija.’

Cathy wonders what good that would have done, since Anne’s Mum didn’t even come into the room when she said goodnight, just pushed the door open a bit and called to them from the hall….but she doesn't say that.

‘Could you close them yourself perhaps, if Anne is already asleep? No one would mind.’

She fidgets a bit, she isn't sure she wants Anne to know about her window thing and Catalina must hear her hesitation so she adds ‘Or perhaps you could try and face away from the window? Maybe put Tarkar on your pillow so if you turn over, you’ll just be looking at him instead?’

She usually hates it when grownups talk about her toys as if they’re real- she knows they’re not and it makes her feel like she’s Kitty’s age- but she can’t even focus on that now, because it just reminds her that she doesn’t even have Tarkar with her and that makes her feel even worse.

‘Cathy? Mija?’

‘But he’s at home-’ she whimpers, and she’s a bit surprised Catalina has forgotten considering the long debate they had over it, Catalina saying it wouldn’t hurt to just put Tarkar in the very bottom of her rucksack in case she changed her mind about not needing him in the night, and Cathy arguing that she wasn’t a baby and that nobody ever takes otters to sleepovers anyway and that Catalina could watch the Lizzie Maquire sleepover episode for herself if she didn't believe her.

(Catalina had shuddered quite hard at the suggestion and said I’ll take your word for it mija quite firmly. Cathy isn't sure why.)

‘Didn’t you find him?’ Catalina sounds genuinely surprised. ‘I put him just at the bottom of your bag, under your towel.’

It’s a big surprise, although she had been wondering why Catalina had packed a towel for her considering she was only going for the night and had already had a shower that morning because she didn’t like the idea of using Anne’s big power shower with the hundred and one knobs and dials and buttons.

‘I’m sorry querida, I know how firm you were about not wanting to take him but I just couldn’t help myself. I hope you’re not too cross with me.’

It’s so odd to hear that because it’s normally the other way around, with Cathy hoping she isn’t the one in trouble- although she has to admit, Catalina hardly ever gets cross, even when she probably could.

‘No. I’m not too cross.’

‘Well, I’m glad. Do you know, when I went to university, when I was much much older than you-’ Catalina’s slips into her storytelling voice. ‘I was 18 and I spent so long packing and choosing what I would bring! Dios mio, I drove my poor mother quite demented- changing my mind and packing and repacking, tearing my room to pieces. I just wanted to seem grown up so very badly-’

It’s funny to hear Catalina talk about wanting to look grown up at university because surely by the time you’re at university, you already are a grown up, a proper one?

‘I decided only to take things that a grown up would take, so I chose all the longest books I had with the most impressive titles- some I’d never even opened….I decided to take only clothes that would be smart for lectures….or that I could wear for a night out. Nothing old! Nothing sloppy! My goodness, how I regretted it!’

‘What happened?’

Her voice is still a bit wavery but it’s a lot more like her normal voice than before and she finds that she is actually a bit interested to hear the story.

 It’s so funny to think of Catalina being young and scared and making silly mistakes- because even she knows that it makes no sense to take books you don't actually like away with you and she’s not even eight yet, whereas Catalina was more than ten years older.

‘Oh querida, it was horrible! I caught a cold on my first night out with my new friends and I had such a terrible hangover-’

‘Whats a hangover?’

‘It means….well, sometimes when you’re young and having fun….that is, in moderation, sometimes things are ok but when you have too much…’ Catalina trails off then picks up the story again hurriedly. ‘Do you know what mija, I’ll explain to you tomorrow ok?’ 

Cathy wonders what could possibly be too complicated that Catalina can't just explain it now and makes a mental note to remember to ask about hangovers the next morning because surely Anne won’t know what they are either and maybe this is something that they should know, like multiplication and suffixes. 

‘Anyway, I felt so ill and I had nothing I wanted to wear, nothing comfortable. And nothing interesting to read while I was stuck in bed either!’

Cathy gives a little gasp of sympathy. How horrible!

 She almost wishes she could go back in time, to bring poor University Catalina the big warm snuggly cardigan that she likes to wear after work and on weekends and one of the glossy magazines she likes so much (and hides under the sofa cushions when people come to visit) so that she can be happy rather than sad and uncomfortable and hungover (whatever that means).

‘And worst of all mija, I’d left Benito behind-’

‘Who was Benito?’

‘Benito was my monkey- not a real one sadly. But I’d had him since I was younger than you and he’d been with me through everything and I was so sure that it wasn’t the sort of thing you’d take to University if you were a proper grown up….oh I very suddenly found I was not at all too old to miss him, no matter what I’d thought! Especially when everything was so new and stressful. So the very first reading week we had, I went home- I said it was just to see my old friends but really mija, I wouldn’t have cared if I hadn’t seen a single one of them as long as I got to bring my books and my comfortable clothes and Benito back with me.’

‘Do you still have him?’ She wonders if Benito might be interested in making friends with an otter.

Catalina sighs. ‘No. He got lost along the way and I’ve always been a little bit sad about it. I like to think he is making some other little girl in Spain very happy- or perhaps someone who is not so little at all!’ 

‘Will I have to leave Tarkar behind when I go to University?’ (She doesn’t know quite what she wants to be yet but she knows she wants to go to University because Catalina’s stories make it sound so interesting.)

‘Not unless you want to. But whatever you decide to do, I’m sure you’ll take much better care of Tarkar than I took of Benito.’

‘I will.’ She says it seriously but Catalina laughs. It’s a nice laugh though.

‘Good. Now was there anything else querida? You sounded so upset when you called.’

It’s funny- she realises suddenly that over the course of the story, she’s not only stopped crying but she’s started feeling a lot more normal. Maybe it’s knowing that Tarkar is in her bag after all or maybe it’s how very well and alive Catalina sounds but whatever it is, she feels much more like herself.

She’s feeling so much better that she almost doesn't want to tell Catalina what was really wrong before….but then she doesnt want her godmother- or Anna for that matter- to think she’s a silly baby for crying over a cuddly toy so she takes a deep breath.

‘I thought you might be hurt. Or sick. Or something.’

Catalina sounds astonished. ‘Why mija? I’m perfectly well.’

‘I thought…’ She fiddles with the cord of the phone. She doesn’t really like saying it but Catalina obviously doesn’t understand. ‘I thought maybe you might be hurt. Like….like Mum and Dad.’

There's a little pause. ‘Oh. Oh Cathy. Oh mija.’

Catalina sounds so very sad that she wonders for a moment if she’s said the wrong thing, and then there’s a long silence and her eyes start to burn again as if the tears are threatening to return. 

Then she sniffles and Catalina’s back on the phone, all hurried.

‘I’m so sorry you had to think about that querida. That must have been very, very scary for you. Especially being away from home.’

Catalina doesn’t sound cross but she still sounds sad.

‘.....I’m sorry.’

‘Oh mija, you have nothing to be sorry for!’ Catalina sounds most emphatic. ‘Nothing at all. I’m not in the least bit upset with you. I’m just so sorry we’re having this conversation over the phone and I can’t give you a hug. And I’m sorry you were having to think such things while I was off thinking about what a lovely time you must be having.’

‘I was having a lovely time.’ She doesn’t want Catalina to think she’s been pathetic all night. ‘Just...when we went to bed. And- I couldn’t sleep and then I started thinking about Mum and Dad….’

Catalina hums sympathetically.

‘And…and it made me think about how I didnt even know that they weren’t ok until they weren’t there any more and maybe I wouldn’t know if you weren’t ok and maybe you might have gotten hurt while I was away and I wouldn’t know-’

‘Ok. Ok mija. Let's take some nice deep breaths, ok? Can you try for me? In and out.’

After a minute of doing deep calming breaths in time with Catalina on the phone, Catalina says ‘This is what I used to do with Maria when she was expecting you.’ 

It’s very unexpected- it’s always a bit odd to hear her mother referred to by her nickname and it’s also funny to think about her Mum and Catalina knowing each other before she was born. 

‘Really?’

‘Oh yes. Sometimes she would get so worried- she loved you so much, you see, and she wanted so badly to do everything right for you. She worried she might make a mistake.’

‘But you said I wasn’t born. How can you love someone who doesn’t exist yet?

‘Oh she loved you long, long before you were born mija. We both did- and Thomas too.’ Thomas she knows is her Dad. ‘I was in Spain and she was in England but she’d call me and we’d talk all about how excited she was to meet you and all the things you would do when you were grown up and how proud we’d all be- but sometimes she’d worry that she was going to make mistakes and then I’d tell her to take some deep breaths and remind her that everything was going to be ok.’

‘Like you’re doing for me.’

‘Like I’m doing for you.’

‘It wasn’t all ok though. She died. She and Dad can’t be proud of me because they’re dead. So it didn’t happen how you said it would at all.’ The tears are back properly now and she thinks that maybe just maybe Catalina’s voice sounds a bit watery too. 

‘I know mija. And it’s very very sad. But we have to try and think about the good things too, as well as the sad things.’

‘What good things?’ She isn’t sure there can be any good things- not when Mum and Dad are dead. How can she enjoy Catalina’s stories knowing how it’s all going to end? She’s sure that her Mum and Dad wouldn’t have been so happy thinking about all things she’d grow up to do if they’d known they wouldn’t be there to see any of them.

‘Well, there’s how much she loved you. That’s still a good thing. She loved you enough for a hundred years, enough for a thousand. How she thought about you every day, before she’d even met you, and how your Daddy did too. That’s a good thing. They were both so excited- you know, your Daddy called everybody he knew when you were born, everybody in his contacts list, people he hadn't spoken to for years and years, just to tell them he had a little girl.’

‘Tell me some more good things. Please.’

She likes that Catalina doesn’t even have to stop and think. ‘There are all the lovely memories you have with them- that’s a very, very good thing. No matter what happens mija, no one can take away your memories. There are all the things they taught you.’

‘Like how to ride a bike. And to swim.’

‘Yes-. And other things too- like how much you like reading. That’s something good that they left you with. That’s something you’ll always take with you. You know, your Daddy got you a library card when you were only just born.’ 

It’s funny to hear Catalina say that. She’d always sort of imagined liking reading of something that was just luck- but now it seems different. More special, like a present but not one you can see or touch.

‘Even just the way you look mija- your beautiful hair, for example. That’s something they’ve given you.’

‘Are there more good things?’

‘So many many more mija. I could talk all night and I’d still not have finished. It’s hard, it’s very hard sometimes to see the good things but that doesn’t mean they’re not there.’

The thought makes her cry a bit more- like the tears are feelings that she just doesn’t have room for any more. They’re not bad feelings- just feelings. She can’t contain them and they overflow as tears.

‘Were you happy too? When I was born?’

‘So very happy mija, you cannot imagine. I had planned to come to see you and your Mummy and Daddy in England anyway but I was so impatient, I called them- I called to ask if I could possibly come early because I couldn’t wait. And you know, when I spoke to them on the phone, Maria said she had been asking Thomas if he thought I would mind coming earlier…because she so wanted to introduce me to you.’

Her voice softens. ‘I have never been sadder than when we lost Maria and Thomas but- since we cannot change that mija, as much as I wish we could, I’m so very happy that I can take care of you for them. And I like to think they would be happy too. I think they are happy too. As much as they'd prefer to be with you themselves...I think they’re happy that you’re with me because they know that I love you like they did. And I know they’re so very, very proud of you. Of what a very brave, clever, good girl their daughter has become.’ 

They’re both definitely crying now but it doesn't hurt like her tears before had hurt, and when she can talk again, she feels better. Lighter. Her eyes are very very sore and her mouth feels dry, but somehow, she doesn't feel so scared anymore.

Thinking about her parents- in a good way- hurts but in a way that feels right. Healthy, almost. Something that hurts but that is good for you too, like hard exercise and injections. She wonders if sometimes the things that are good for you- the things that you need- do just hurt a little bit, if that's just how some things in life are.

There’s a little pause as they both sniffle into the phone...and then Catalina gives a little laugh and says ‘Oh mija I shan't be able to scold you for wiping your nose on your sleeve any more, I ran out of tissues-’ and she starts laughing a bit even as she's still crying. 

It feels good to be able to smile.

‘Good.’

‘You can remind me of this when I tell you off for it.’

‘I will.’

‘Are you feeling a little bit better now mija?’

‘Yes.’ She actually means it.

‘Good. I think perhaps we should maybe have another talk about this soon, yes? Properly, when we’re both a bit less tired and when we can see each other and I can give you a proper cuddle.’

That sounds quite nice.

‘Ok.’

‘Ok. ‘ There’s a pause. ‘Shall I come and get you now mija? I’m not as worried about leaving you anymore.’

‘Will you really come?’

It’s been a tiny niggling worry at the back of her mind the whole time- that maybe Catalina is just trying to distract her, to make her forget about having to drive over to get her in the middle of the night, that maybe she’s just planning on telling her that now she doesn't really need to come home at all...but Catalina sounds shocked she’s ever asking.

‘Of course! Of course I will. I could be with you in...hmm, about half an hour? Forty minutes at the most.’

‘Really?’

She sounds very serious. ‘Mija if I can, I will always come and get you if you need me.’

‘What about when I’m grown up?’

‘Always. If you need me, I will come, even when you're grown up.’

‘What if I'm somewhere really far away?’

‘Then it might take longer but I’ll still come.’

‘What if you're really tired?’

‘Even then. I’ll drink lots of coffee and sleep when you’re safe back home.’

‘What if I make you really really angry? What if-’ She tries to think of the worst thing she can imagine. ‘What if I break all your nice things and shout at you and say I hate you and...and steal money from you and...and and set the sofa on fire and…’

‘Then I will be angry and sad and you will owe me a new sofa….but I will still come.’

There's a pause as she takes it in.

‘Will you be alright now if I hang up now mija? I’ll be as quick as I can.’

She thinks about it. 

She thinks about Catalina having to get up and get dressed and drive in the dark and about having to have her knock on the door and wake everyone up and explain why she's going home. 

She thinks about Anne waking up without her on the morning after her birthday and about how it would mean that Anna will have had a proper sleepover with Anne and she won’t. 

She thinks about Tarkar waiting for her in her bag, about how cosy her bed in Anne’s room suddenly seems and about how sleepy she’s starting to feel. 

She thinks about how Anne has said that Mary has promised to make them pancakes for the post-sleepover birthday breakfast and about whipped cream. And strawberries. And Nutella.

She takes a deep breath.

‘It’s ok. You don't have to come. I’m- I’m alright now.’

‘Are you sure mija? I promise it’s no trouble. I wouldn't be in the least bit upset with you and neither would anyone else.’

She thinks, wavers….and then makes up her mind. ‘No, it's ok. I'm sleepy now anyway. And Mary said she’d make pancakes and Anne said she brought whipped cream specially. The kind in a squirty can.’

Catalina chuckles. ‘Alright mija. That does sound worth staying for. Snuggle down with Tarkar and dream about something nice for me, alright?’

‘Ok.’ She pauses. ‘I'm sorry I woke you up.’

‘Oh mija you have nothing at all to be sorry for! ! I’m so glad you called- I’d hate to think of you miserable and not calling me.’

‘I nearly didn’t.’

‘What made you change your mind?’

‘Anna said I should. She said it would make me feel better.’

‘Well she sounds like a very sensible and nice girl.’

She normally bristles when her godmother so much as suggests that Anna might have any redeeming qualities...but somehow she just doesn't feel that hot surge of irritation any more. 

After all, Anna did help. If it wasn't for Anna, she realises, she’d just be lying in bed and feeling sadder and sadder by the minute and who knows how sad she’d have been by morning? Probably too sad to want even a small pancake and what a waste of a treat that would be.

‘Yes, she is. She’s very nice. And she’s keeping BT in business.’

Catalina chuckles again. ‘Well that’s good to know. Will you do something for me mija? Is Anna still with you?’ 

‘Yes.’

‘Could you pass the phone to her for just a minute?’

Anna is half asleep on the floor when Cathy nudges her with the receiver. ‘She wants to talk to you again.’

Anna takes it. Again there is buzzing and another couple of yeses and thank yous- and then Catalina is back.

‘Thank you mija. I just wanted to say thank you to her myself for giving you such good advice.’

She thinks for a minute. ‘I’ll say thank you too. And do something nice back for her- when I’ve thought of something.’

She can almost hear Catalina smiling down the phone. ‘Well that’s a lovely idea querida.’ She lets herself feel a little glow of pride and then Catalina stifles a yawn. ‘Now, you and Anna should probably go and get some sleep before it’s time for pancakes…’

‘Ok.’

‘Just one more thing before you go to bed, I want you to imagine something for me. Can you do that?’

‘Yes’

‘I want you to imagine I’m giving you a big big hug, ok? A very big hug- to last you until morning. Don’t use it all up at once, mind.’

The idea of trying to save a hug- like its a chocolate bar or a bag of crisps- is novel enough to make her smile- and then she yawns.

‘Ok. I won’t.’

‘Good. Sweet dreams mija. Sleep well and I’ll see you very soon.’

‘Good night Catalina.’

‘God bless querida. I love you.’

‘I love you too.’

She puts the phone down.

There's a second when the shakiness feels like it might come back- just a second, and then Anna is standing up, stumbling a bit because her foot has gone to sleep, and Cathy has to catch her arm to steady her.

‘Oooh!’

‘Sorry-’

‘It’s ok. Are you alright?’

‘Yes. Just my foot, it’s all tingly and funny-’ Anna puts weight on it experimentally. ‘Are you better now?’

She nods. ‘Yes.’

‘I was really worried. You looked so, so sad.’

‘I was. But I’m ok now.’ She pauses. ‘Thank you for staying with me. And for making me use the phone. It was a good idea.’

‘It’s ok. Your godmother is nice.’

‘She is nice.’

‘She said thank you for getting you to call and that I sounded like a very sensible clever girl and a very good friend for you to have and that she was pleased to meet me even if it was over the phone and that she’d heard a lot about me.’ Anna pauses. ‘Did you really tell her about me?’

‘Yes…’ She hopes Anna won’t ask if they were always nice things.

Anna looks surprised. ‘I didn't think you liked me. Much.’ She looks a bit awkward as she says it and Cathy suddenly feels hot guilt in her tummy. Somehow it didn't seem so bad to not like Anna when she thought Anna hadn’t noticed but now….

She shakes her head quickly. ‘I do. At least I do now. And not just now. I liked you. A bit. Before. Even when I didn't want to.’

She wonders if Anna will be really, really cross with her, or worse if she’ll cry, and the guilt burns worse than ever….but when she looks up, Anna is squirming a bit too, as if she is the mean one.

‘I liked you too. Even when I didn't want to. I-’ She pauses. ‘I wasn't so happy when you came back’ She says in a rush ‘I mean I was sort of happy because you seemed nice- you let me play even when you looked like you didn't want to and I felt a bit bad...but...when I started, I didn’t know anyone and I was so happy that Anne wanted to be friends and then she said it was just until you came back to school and...I hoped and hoped that you wouldn't come back at all and that you'd end up going to a new school so that I could keep on being friends with Anne….and then I felt bad because you let Anne stay friends with me even when you did come back….’

She breaks off and they look at one another. 

Cathy waits to see if she’ll feel angry over what Anna has said, as Anna is obviously expecting her to be….but to her surprise, she finds that she isn't. 

Her main feeling is relief- the guilt in her tummy is nearly gone, now that she knows she wasn't the only one having not-so-nice thoughts secretly.

‘It’s ok. We’re even now.’

She smiles at Anna and crooks her little finger, and Anna smiles back and hooks it with her own and they shake on it. Then Anna shivers and Cathy realises how cold her hand is.

‘You're freezing! Let's go back to bed quick so you can warm up.’

‘Its ok, I don't really mind. I was getting a bit hot anyway- the duvet is really big!’ 

They start up the stairs.

When they get into Anne’s room, she expects Anna to go straight back to bed but she hangs back. 

‘Cathy...can I see your otter? Just quickly before we go to sleep? Only I heard you say that you DID bring him and I've never seen a toy otter before…’

She can't imagine not knowing you could have toy otters and feels a little bit sorry for Anna.

When she fishes Tarkar out of the bottom of her bag, there’s a yellow post-it stuck to his back with Catalina’s handwriting: ‘Just in case’ and then three kisses.

She tucks the note and the kisses safely into the pocket of her pyjamas and hands Tarkar over and Anna strokes him admiringly. ‘He’s lovely. I'm going to ask mutti for an otter for my birthday- we saw otters at the zoo once, they were so cute and funny.’

‘I like the otters at the zoo best too. Catalina’s going to take me and Anne to the zoo when it's the holidays and she can get some time off work. She promised.’ She pauses, stroking Tarkar’s foot. ‘Maybe...maybe you could come too. If you’d like.’

Anna’s eyes are all big and shiny. ‘Yes! Yes please!’ She gives a happy little bounce and then yawns in the middle of it and they both giggle.

Anna hands Tarkar back and goes back to Kitty’s bed and Cathy gets into the camp bed. 

She’s shivery enough that the big duvet actually feels quite nice now- cozy rather than stifling, and she’s so tired that even the pillow doesn't bother her so much any more. The washing powder smell is still strange- but Tarkar smells reassuringly familiar. 

She buries her face in his fur and dreams of home. 

[bucky-iss-bae]

Perfect - (Billy Russo x Reader)

A/N: Small little Billy Russo one shot, just to distract me from everything in my life. Still hella rusty, and so much improvement needs to be made on my writing. But hope you all enjoy x 

Fandom: Marvel’s The Punisher

Billy Russo x Reader

Prompts: ‘Don’t be scared, I’m right here.’ - ‘Why are you crying?’ - ‘You’re worth it.’

Warnings: Angst/Fluff 

Word Count: 1600ish 

Mastlerlist Fandom List

It was the 5thtime that day you had gotten up to be sick. You were currently on bed rest and felt so nauseous you didn’t know what to do. Billy had left for work early in the morning, he insisted on staying to look after you, but you made him leave because he had a big meeting to prepare for. So instead you were at home in bed wondering how on earth you got such a bad bug and why you felt so sick. Nothing would settle in your stomach, after having dry toast, you ran to the bathroom, you then sat on the cold tiled floor for what felt like hours but was only a few minutes. After near enough drinking a bottle of mouth wash, and being put off any food, you just decided resting in bed would be the best thing to do right now. Whenever Billy gets home, he could take you to the hospital, or at least a clinic to find out why you’re so ill.

“Knock, Knock, It’s me can I come in,” Maria said knocking on my bedroom door,

“Yeah, it’s just me” I called out,

She walked in with a few plates in hand as well as her keys.

“Sorry, I used Franks key, is that ok?” She asked coming up to me and resting the plates on my bedside table,

“Of course it is. What are you doing here?” I groaned out, “Also keep your distance like I’ve been puking up all night last night and all day”

“Oh hun,” She said moving some of your sweat ridden hair out of your face, “How long you been feeling ill?”

“Well, I’ve been feeling bloated for what feels like forever, ad these last few days I’ve not been able to stomach food, and I’ve been feeling sick, but I’ve actually vomited last night and today and I’m just so tired all the time, I want to feel better again Maria”

She rose her eyebrows and looked at your chest, “And your chest look a little bigger as well Y/N”

You looked down and looked back at her, “Weirdo” You murmured, “No it doesn’t. But anyway, I’ll get Billy to take me to get checked out later”

Maria scoffed at you, “My sweet child” She said with a small smile on her face, she often made fun of how you were a few years younger than she is, “I have a few things with me today. I have chicken soup, I’ve also got a hot water bottle, and a few other things” She said picking them out the bag, the last thing she grabbed made your eyes widen,

“Maria” You yelled, “No. It’s not possible. It’s not”

You stared in shock at the pregnancy test that she had in her hand, she had a mum look on her face and all you could do was stare at her and the test,

“Come on, let’s get peeing,” She said to you,

You groaned but knew you wouldn’t stand a chance against her right now.

You were both nervously waiting for the results, you more so than her. She was actually calm and collected considering she’s already done this twice.

“What if its positive Maria?” you asked, “Like what if... I don’t know. Just, shit I don’t know. What do I do? How do I become a mom? I could never be like you. And I just, it’s so scary the thought of it. I mean how is this even possible? I’m on the pill!”

“The pill doesn’t always work” She reminded you, “I mean, imagine my shock when Frank and I had been seeing one another for only 3 months. I was ready to protect my child with my life, neither of us had any clue. But we got through it. At least you and Billy are in a stable part of your lives. Has it never come up?” Maria asked you while sat anxiously,

“No” You whispered shaking your head, “He... I don’t know. Not explicitly at least. I mean at the moment he’s all about his business. Making sure it grows, in his eyes that is his baby. He talks about wanting a stable future for us and whatever the future brings us. Small things I guess. Sometimes comments whenever there's cute family shit on TV. I just... it’s something that hasn’t come up enough, and I’m scared because I... a small part of me wants a family. But what if he doesn’t? After everything, he’s been through what if he doesn’t?”

“Y/N,” Maria said grabbing you into a hug you didn’t realise you need, “It’ll all work out for the best I promise you,” She said rubbing your back in a soothing manner, “Billy is a good guy. Just, let's see what the test says and take it from there”

You sniffled a bit, trying to hold back the tears, “I know that 10 minutes ago this wasn’t even an option for me. But a small part of me wants something that might not even be there. But then I don’t know what Bill will be like”

“Well, it’s time. We can find out now,” She smiled at me,

I took a deep breath and we both went back into the bathroom, I looked at the test and there were two red lines that confirmed everything. The sickness, and the tiredness, I just don’t know what to tell Billy now.  

**

Billy came home early that evening, you hadn’t ended up messaging him since because of the nerves eating you up on the inside. You cried. A lot. You ate the chicken soup that Maria made for you, managed to stomach it as well, you showered, and felt a bit refreshed, you just needed to talk to him before you decided on going to the clinic tomorrow and finding out the best way to deal with your sickness.

You were too busy sitting in your own thoughts to realise that Billy had gotten back, too busy thinking about the future until Billy came and sat in front of you,

“Heyy, Y/N, why are you crying, what’s up?” He asked cupping your face in his hands,

You looked at him and realised you were in fact crying, but as soon as you saw him you started crying even more,

He was so confused and lost but instead comforted you, he sat beside you and let you cry into his chest before you were ready to talk,

“I’m scared Billy” You whispered a few minutes later resting your head on his chest. You could still smell his cologne, and it comforted you but you couldn’t help how you were feeling, “So scared”

“Why Y/N? What’s up? Has something happened?” He asked stroking your hair but you sat up and looked at him shaking your head, “Y/N, you don’t need to be scared. I’m right here”

“Billy” You sighed while wiping your tears, “I wasn’t sure how to tell you, and like it should’ve been in a cute way but I couldn’t because I don’t know if you’ll be happy or not” You were getting him more and more confused as you carried on speaking,

“What's going on Y/N? Did something happen today? Frank told me that Karen was coming but I haven’t really heard much, I thought you would still be in bed”

You shook your head a small smile on your lips, but the smile didn’t quite reach your eyes, “I’m pregnant” You whispered, “And that’s why I’ve been sick. That’s why I’m bloated and emotional, and if you... if you don’t want anything...”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before Billy cut you off with a kiss, you were shocked but deepened the kiss, before looking at him,

“Really?” He whispered grinning at you, tears of his own in his eyes,

“Really, really” you nodded, “Not sure how far along. But, I’m pregnant. I was so scared though Billy, that you wouldn’t want it, or me.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re worth everything to me Y/N, and this baby is the start of our little family. I couldn’t be happier.”

You smiled at that and felt happy tears coming along now, “There’s so much though. I’m so scared Billy. Like what if we’re not good parents. Or what if, I don’t know, I’m just so scared”

“You don’t need to be scared Y/N. We’re in this together. Me, you, and a little us. And we’ve got super parents Frank and Maria who’ll help us at any given moment”

You laughed at that, “She knew before I did. She could tell the pregnancy signs apparently. And I’m a blubbering mess Bill. I just... what’s wrong with me”

“All I know is the next 9 months you’ll be blaming hormones for whatever you do or say” he chuckled, “But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I can’t tell you how happy I am Y/N. I know it’s not a conversation we’ve had, and I know that we’re both always working. But we’ll figure this out”

You nodded and rested your head on his shoulder, “We’ll get it under control. And it’s true my hormones are already bad”

He started laughing at that, “We’ll have a chill tonight ok? We’ll get changed, well I will, watch a few films, and just, let you cry” he finished while laughing at himself,

You elbowed him in the stomach, “It’s not even a joke Bill, I will cry like lots, but I’m so happy. I just... I didn’t realise I wanted this until Maria even suggested I could be pregnant. And everything is perfect right now” You sighed snuggling deeper into his chest, his arms tightened around you, and he kissed the top fo your forehead,

“Everything is perfect Y/N. You’re perfect”  

[paulieshore]

Part 6: As She Laid There

Part 6: As She Laid There

Warnings: None

Characters: Lucien, Kiro, Mc, Mentions: Gavin, Victor, Anna, Minor, Kiki

Word Count: 1697

Loveland Charity Event (series)

 Just your luck, tonight you concoct a plan to avoid having to think about boys, this one being one of them…..

 “Just come out for drinks with some co-workers, it’s been a stressful week.” You answered nonchalantly.

Lucien picked up quickly that you had a fair amount of alcohol tonight, your words seemed slurred and you had a bit of a sway even as you stood still.

“I see, you should be careful not to drink so much. Drink lots of water and eat something not so greasy, you’ll thank me tomorrow for it,” Lucien advised.

“Okay, will do!” You answered quickly without even saying goodbye. Grabbing your order from the bar trying not to seem so conspicuous and rush back to Minor and Kiki. You didn’t bother to look back, Lucien always seemed mysterious, popping up where you were. Alcohol plus Lucien spelled out trouble to you, as much as you felt guilty for just ditching after a quick bump in, the last thing you wanted was more drama added to your already hectic week.

You got back to the table where the three of you were sitting, Minor diving into the chicken, and Kiki going on about how it’s time to go home. You didn’t want to go though, not just yet, going home meant the night was over.

<30 Minutes later>

After getting Kiki and Minor into a cab you wanted to walk home to help sober up, only to your dismay, seemed Lucien too was walking home. What timing, feeling bad for being rude earlier you took this opportunity to walk and talk with Lucien home (you were neighbours after all). Plus, it seemed safer then walking home alone under the influence anyways.

The walk home wasn’t as awkward as you thought it would be, Lucien seemed well behaved keeping the teasing to a minimum. You two talked about the charity event coming up, confirming the timings, and what time he should pick you up. Taking a couple jabs at you for being a light weight, or a silly girl for thinking you could walk home alone.  You both talked until reaching your door, you were saying, “goodnight and thank you for walkin--….”

When, Lucien reached out and tucked a few stray hairs behind your ear. You froze, no more words came from your mouth. You instantly felt your body temperature rise, Lucien gave you that usual smile of his as his finger glided from the back of your ear, down your neck to resting his large warm hand on your shoulder. This sent goose-bumps all over your body like wild fire.

“You know, if your ever feel stressed and are needing a friend to talk too, you can always call me. Ill listen and help in any way I can.” Lucien’s voice was low and captivating.

You were mesmerized, staring into his eyes, his face came closer and closer, out of reflex you closed your eyes, anticipating. You felt soft and warm lips pressed lightly to your forehead before parting.

You opened your eyes to see Lucien grinning, holding back a laugh, “Were you expecting more?”

You shook your head perversely, he only laughed out loud then before leaving you before your door as he entered his own home. You quickly came to your senses and fumbled into your apartment, your knees felt wobbly, heart beating 100 miles per hour. Thinking to cool yourself from what just happened you went into the bathroom for a cold shower. How were you always winding up in such situations….

<Next day 2 days till the event>

Another restless night, on top of that you were hung over, practically dragging yourself out of bed and making your way to work. Upon arriving at your company, you ran into a very worried Anna, you asked what was going on.

“Our actor for todays shoot has cancelled last minute! Were due to shoot by noon!” She explained hurriedly.

At this point you thought your head might actually explode, frantically searching within your throbbing mind for some resolve to this problem. Anna and you called a quick morning meeting to discuss what to do, Minor chimes in about Gavin covering for the shoot. You thought about it only briefly, but considering Gavin hasn’t been answering you as of late, you thought best not to bug him. Kiki makes a suggestion about bringing Lucien in (winking at you when she says his name) you decline almost immediate, after last night you needed some space to sort your head out. Given Lucien and you are supposed to attend the charity event Friday. Feeling over-whelmed with everything you pick up the phone to call Victor, then as you were scrolling to Victors contact your finger glides over Kiro’s.

Yes! Kiro!

You hit dial and dashed out of the board room, anxiously waiting for an answer.

Nothing. You really felt like crying at this point. Then your phone begins to ring in hand, KIRO!

“You have no idea how happy I am you called back!” Holding back the tears, you were afraid they would burst.

“Hey Miss Chips! Long time no see, you alright?”

No, you were not alright but you had to seize this moment while it was here.

“I’m in a bit of a bind if I’m honest, our actor for today has cancelled and we have no one!” You bluntly lay it down hoping Kiro picked up what you were putting down.

“Gosh that sucks, is there anything I can help you with?” Kiro’s voice remained just as enthused.

You pause before asking, understanding Kiro’s busy schedule and the fact you didn’t bother getting back to him the other day. You cautiously went on.

“I’m sorry I never got back to you the other day, its been a week….” Pausing momentarily

“I could really use your help, and, and!! Ill make it up to you, twice over!!” You finish.

There was a silence on the other end before Kiro finally spoke, “I’m sorry but I can’t.”

You could feel the tears breaching the threshold of your eyes, today of all days, then.

“hahaha, I’m just kidding of course ill help! Super hero Kiro to the rescue!” hysterically.

If Kiro was standing in front of you right this moment you probably would have slapped him.

“Miss Chips? You there? I was kidding, just getting you back for not getting back to me the other day! Please don’t be mad! Just tell me what I got to do and I’ll make sure to be there!” His voice breaks your thoughts.

You explain the details to him and return to the board room to inform every one of the changes. Noon rolls around and Kiro and his agent appear to do the shoot, everything goes smoothly better than expected considering how you felt like death. After the wrap up Kiro approaches you.

“Wow you really don’t look well” He looks at you sympathetically.

You tell him about your plan to let loose last night and he laughs at you for not handling your’ drink. Before setting off Kiro tells you, to make up for not getting back to him and for today, you had to game out with him tonight after work. Not being able to say no considering the circumstances, you tell him sure and part ways. The day goes by slow, seconds felt like minutes, minutes felt like hours. How you hated hangovers, in the back of your mind you could hear Lucien almost vividly saying ‘I told you so’.

Finally, the day was done, you couldn’t wait to get home to have a nap before meeting up with Kiro at the agreed time and place. You woke from your nap later then planned, no time for dinner you jump into the shower and quickly get ready. You check your phone and sent Kiro a quick ‘I’m on my way’ message. Hailing a cab and making your way to one of Kiro’s homes, you’d been to this one previously, Kiro travelled lots but this place had the largest of his music instrument collections.

You arrived a couple minutes later then agreed, but none the less you were there. Kiro answered the door as excited as a puppy, dragging you in before you could apologise for being a little late. You realised quickly when he dragged you into the big living room what tonight’s plans were. There was snacks galore, a big 90inch tv, a game console with two wireless controllers sitting on the glass coffee table and on the screen of the tv; showed a very popular game.

The evening was going pretty good, time flew quickly, considering you had napped earlier you were feeling rather tired, little by little dosing off.

Kiro noticed Mc getting quieter and quieter, the side of her screen on the tv completely stopped. He looked over at the girl who was supposed to be gaming with him, asleep. He couldn’t help but smile, *she was always hustling and bustling with work and stress she probably hasn’t had much rest lately*, he thought.

Afraid to wake her and send her off, Kiro took it upon himself to lift her from her spot on the floor in-front of the TV and place her on the sofa. He didn’t exactly know what he was going to do but letting her rest was most important. He gently picked her up careful not to wake her as he slowly raised her from the floor. Walking over to the sofa just on the other side of the table, against the wall that was covered in all his popular best-selling records. He laid her down and couldn’t get his arm from around the back of her shoulders. Finding himself crouching awkwardly only inches away from her face, he slowed his breathing. Completely lost in thought, she looked so peaceful, so innocent, his sight fell upon her lips. They glowed a soft creamy pink and were parted only just slightly, he felt his cheeks begin to burn. An instant desire to claim her lips as she laid there…..

 To Be Continued

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[choicesatnight]

Devoted Fiend

Title: Devoted Fiend

Pairing: James Ashton x Vivian (MC)

Rating: Angst n stuff..?

Word count:  2,048 words

My disclaimer:  This character is owned by PB, I just enjoy some elaboration. I really love James Ashton and I love Choices fanfics, especially nasty ass stuff but there isn’t much featuring my original bae, James Ashton from The Freshman series

So, I decided to put my amateur ass talent to work and write with James being the *star of the story*

A/N:  * is a separator due to scene change, use of Daddy, Italics are James thoughts

Four months later, Vivian is the only suspect in Reyna’s murder although they cannot link the poison to Vivian as the autopsy revealed Reyna’s cause of death as extreme amounts of black mamba venom. They did find an empty vial in Vivian’s purse which is the sole reason she is a suspect. Out on bail, thanks to James, she gave birth to a healthy boy who currently resides with his father.

After putting Logan down to sleep, James sits down to dial Comfort.

“Hey hun"

“Hey C, where are you?”

“Almost at your place”

“Good. Logan misses you.”

“Oh, does he? Logan's got some explaining to do"

“Uh oh.”

“I'm here.” She hangs up the phone and opens the door.

Comfort walks in wearing her usual type of outfit. An oversized top, formfitting jeans, and heels. The top is so long it hides the part of her bottom half that James likes to see the most.

“You look nice" he kisses her lips.

After the kiss, “I'm going to see Logan. Sit down, hun. I'll be right back.”

Seconds later she returns from the nursery and sits on the couch beside James.

 “He's sleeping.”

“Hopefully for a while. He’s quite the night owl.”

“That’s the complete opposite of you.”

James' eyes scrunch in confusion, why does she think I’m not a night person at all? I can hang late at night. Shouldn’t she know this by now?

“I guess. But it’s exactly like his mother.”

Comfort rolls her eyes,

“Why are you talking about murderers?”

“You know I believe in her innocence. Regardless, she’s still Logan’s mom.”

“She's a murderer which brings me to my next point. James. You paid for her LEGAL TEAM!?” raising her voice in absolute disapproval of what he’s done.

“Yes. She's Logan's mom”

“Babe. She's a damn MUR👏🏼DER👏🏼ER"

James smiles, “You called me babe.”

Like Vivian used to.

Her mouth flat and eyes full of anger

“Listen, if she gets free you will be responsible for a murderer on the loose. She's obsessed with you so I'm next and when I wind up dead it's on you. Know that.”

“Comfort, I'm sorry we disagree about her role in Reyna's murder but she's Logan's mother and I’m always going to look after the mother of my child.”

“Okay honey remember you said that when I'm dead and you ultimately end up back with her because you're soft for her.”

“Soft for her? Comfort, we were together for nine years. She's the mother of my son. I have a right, no – a VALID REASON to stay in her life and excuse me for being polite and using the money I have for things” He takes a breath before he continues, “and PEOPLE that are important to me! I’m only looking out for her.” His tone is elevated, he’s standing and looking at her with furrowed brows as he speaks. How dare she speak so ill of Vivian!

She stands up and gets in his face,

“Really James? Do you think raising your voice is gonna back me down off of the fact that you’re taking care of a murderer? I don’t care how long you were together, she’s a killer and this is not cool. You need to have a seat, get the hell outta my face and go tell her to stay in her damn place!”

Feeling even more frustrated, he sits down without a word. Comfort remains standing.

“Exactly. Sit down. Don’t try to argue with me about that damn murderer. I got this argument.”

Did she just tell me what to do?

Nothing. James says nothing.

“You act like you're still together. The only difference is that you're having sex with me and I have a key to your apartment.”

“Are you saying you think this is only about sex?”

“I hope not.”

 “I’ll talk to her, okay?” He has no intention of talking to her about this situation. She’s innocent and not even Comfort can convince him otherwise.

“That’s all I’m asking, at least. Man up.” James thoughts linger to Vivian. She would never talk to him this way, nor would she be so demanding.

“Okay, well…”

“Um, yeah, I’ll call you later, okay?” Comfort attempts to kiss James though he bends as if he’s looking for something and she leaves.

What Comfort doesn’t know is that James also paid her bail, so by her definition he’s already let a murderer loose.

**

Vivian sits at home alone. Thinking of the situation she's gotten herself in when her phone rings "Sweet Love" and steals her attention. Upon grabbing the phone, she sees its lit with notification. Today is...or would have been, her 10th anniversary with James. Imagining how amazing the day and night would have been if they were together and if she were not facing a murder conviction leads her to dial James. 

"Hey James"

"Hey" she can hear the tiniest cry near the phone. 

"Awww is that Logan?"

"Of course, it is. I'm feeding him."

"Can I come by? Do you have company already?" He knows she's asking about Comfort. She always avoids saying her name. Is Comfort equivalent to Voldemort to Vivian? 

"Only Logan and I are home. Come by." 

"I miss my baby. See you soon" she hangs up the phone and heads to James apartment.  

Once there, she kisses James on the cheek and sets her purse and keys on the table. Removing her coat reveals the low cut, form-fitting shirt she is wearing. He gets lost remembering the way she'd call him Daddy when he'd bite her nipples simply by staring at her top and maybe a little from the warm familiarity of her perfume. But he is pulled from his memories when Vivian repeats "I'm gonna go see Logan.” Until he responds “Okay.”

She walks to the nursery and rocks baby Logan in her arms while singing. "ABCDEF is for Frugal which your father is not. And hey! Father. F is for father GH is for Hoe. The kind of partner you shouldn't commit to IJ..." James walks in "Those ABC's don't sound appropriate for an infant." He smiles, only to show that he is not chastising her. "He'll know his letters and some adult lessons by the time he's three. He'll be a scholar and know how to avoid getting hurt. He'll be better than his mom. He'll be like his dad." 

James walks behind her wrapping her in his embrace, hands rested on her stomach 

"You're a wonderful woman." She softly places Logan in his crib

"I wasn't good enough for you."

He releases her from his embrace only to make her face him,

"Vivian, are you kidding me? You're the love of my life. You don't seem to understand the change I had to go through after realizing that you were not committed to me. It broke my entire person. But I emerged."

"And started dating her. I pushed you to her and that’s who you share your happiness with.”

“It’s not happy” Fuck! I shouldn’t have said that. Vivian doesn’t need to hear about this…

“What’s wrong, James? Why aren’t you happy?”

“Okay,” he visually relaxes after deciding its okay to share this with Vivian.

“We argued and she talked down to me. Spoke to me like I were an idiot. You know how intensely I feel for words. She changed the way I see her plus I’m still mad.”

She steps closer to James “So now she's talking you crazy. Treating you like less of a man. Babe. You don’t deserve that.”

James is hardly able to resist Vivian, she's like kryptonite to him, but with the strength he has he says “Give me a second, gotta take advantage of this time while you're here with Logan" he laughs heading toward the bathroom.

Vivian can't help but notice James phone left on the baby`s changing table.

“My trusting lover never fails me" she laughs at the ZERO methods of protection on his phone and looks for her name “Vivian (Logan's mother)” to change it to “Soul Mate (Logan's Mother).” She's proud of her son, there’s no reason to change that. Next, she looks for Comfort. And finds her under “My everything (Comfort ❤).” Thank goodness for his parenthesis or she wouldn't ever find her. She changes her name to “Temporary Bitch (Comfort)” and puts his phone down. Just in time as he is walking back to her.

Now in the living room, James returns to Vivian

“Thanks for allowing me that quick shower. I felt pretty grimy. Logan doesn't deserve a grimy dad" he laughs

She joins in the laughter.  “You're definitely the type for Dad jokes.” 

“Oh, I'm a comedian. Comfort has extracted parts of me I didn't know existed.”

“Did she do that when she was screaming at you what to do?”

James is silent. Vivian knows exactly how to finish James, how to make herself irresistible to him.

“Hey, come here” she grabs his hand, pulling him into the bedroom and sitting on the bed. She gets on her knees behind him, massaging his shoulders.

“Close your eyes. Just relax to my touch…Daddy”

James is ready to relax but the flame ignites when she calls him Daddy. He turns his head around to look at her and they begin to kiss as attempts to pull her unto his lap. The movements are a little tricky, but she ends up on his lap as they continue kissing.  He pulls away long enough to say,

“I need you, Viv" before returning immediately to kissing her, deepening the kiss unknowing where to let his hands roam. For once, he just wants to kiss her until they share breaths, but she pulls away

“I missed you so much"

“I missed you too, Viv. I didn’t know how much.”

“Will you come to court with me tomorrow?”

“Yeah, of course.” He kisses her. “I'll be there every day. I testify on Tuesday.” He kisses her again.

“I love you so much"

Vivian smiles, laying her head on James' shoulder. She’s getting everything she wanted in spite of Comfort still being alive.

“I love you too, James"

“Stay here. I’ll be with you tomorrow anyway.” His fingers combing through her hair as she sits on his lap.

“What about your place holder?”

He laughs when she refers to Comfort as “place holder"

“Who cares. She predicted this would happen anyway.”

“She predicted us getting back together?” she laughs

“Yup. She said I`m soft for you…but I'm definitely not soft right now"

She laughs even harder, “Freaky as ever! I missed that.”

They kiss. “It feels like home being back with you. It will be us forever, baby. You, me and Logan."

 “Yup."

**

DAY 1

THE PEOPLE VS. BLACK MAMBA

Both sides have presented their argument and Vivian stands with James and her attorney

“Sounds like the prosecution has no real evidence against you. They only called upon the testaments of forensic professionals. We're going to win.” The lawyer looks at James, “Who is this? Who are you? Vivian, are you entering a new witness?”

Vivian giggles and grabs hold of James' hand, “No. Michael. He paid for you to defend me"

Michael straightens his stance and offers his hand to shake “Mr. Ashton! Michael Board. It's nice to meet you, sir"

James laughs briefly while shaking his hand, “You're thinking of my dad. You can call me James.”

“Jay, Jim, Jimmy" he points finger guns toward James with expecting eyes.

“James.” James' voice is unmoving in tone, indicating tedium.

Vivian moves closer to James, still holding his hand “You can tell him anything. He's should be included in all of it.” James raises their intertwined hands to kiss hers.

“Are you married to James? Vivian, this will be amazing for your image.”

“Well, n-" James cuts of Vivian before she can finish answering

“Yes. I’m her husband.” He stares in her eyes as he speaks

“Perfect! The jury will not convict our brand-new mother and wife when she’s got no evidence tying her to this murder. Mrs. Ashton, consider this case won!” Michael is trying his best not to break out his “We're winning” dance moves when Vivian and James are still locked holding hands and staring into one another's eyes.

Teeny Tiny Tag List

@zigortega4life

@littlecrookedheart

[taylorhardybby]

sequinned booty’s and baby blues// two.

Hey, so its been a while and this has been sitting in my drafts for a while so I’m really sorry about that. currently, I’m almost done writing chapter 4 ( I like to be ahead) so if I get some feedback ill probably post chapter 3 pretty soon. as always this is proudly trash but I try really hard so I hope you enjoy. please leave feedback (OF ANY KIND)

this is like half edited so apologies 

until then xo- I

3k words 

It was almost a week until Lila saw them again, she had spent her nights and early mornings working at the bar. At first the job seemed hard but, in the end, she loved it.  Although the wage wasn’t great, tips made up for it. With a flirty smile and unbuttoning a few extra buttons Lila’s tips almost doubled and she couldn’t be happier.

Most of her days were spent writing music. She was desperate to get enough money for a piano, but she knew that would take a while.  That was the first thing she missed from home. Her piano. She had gotten it as a birthday gift when she was 7 and it was one of her most prized possessions. That was in the past now.

Currently, she was standing in the bar, it was 5pm and apart from the two men in the corner of the bar, it was empty. The band for tonight was supposed to arrive any minute, so while she waited Lila wiped down all the tables and helped tidy the bar. Lila was so distracted stacking the clean glasses that when she heard a cough, she dropped the glass in her hand.

She turned so quickly curses spilled from her lips but quickly stopped when she saw who had scared her. Roger. The angel-faced drummer, that could charm the pants off anyone. Not that’s Lila cared it had been a while since she got any and she was sure he’d be good. She just liked the chase.

“Hello Lila” his voice was so amazing, and Lila couldn’t help but imagine how it would sound in bed,

“Hello Roger, how are you” she tried to play hard to get she really did, but she knew, and he probably did too, that he was just much too attractive for his own good.

“much better now you’re here love, could I grab a drink thanks” he was flirting, fucking typical. As Lila poured his drink, they chatted about nothing in particular.

As they set up and practised a few notes, the bar began to fill, and it got increasing busy. The show went well, everyone cheered them on, Lila found herself bopping and long to most of the songs. By the end, she had memorised most of the lyrics and even a few chords. She wrote them down on a napkin that she put in her back pocket.

It was past 1 and the bar was finally slowing down, the boys were packing up finally after doing another unplanned half set and they all looked exhausted. Lila poured four pints and walked them backstage.

Freddie was the first to see her,

“Darling, how great were we” the smile on his face made her smile as well and even though they were barely strangers she felt much calmer in his presence.

“absolutely amazing, you guys are wonderful” although Freddie was the only one around, she was sure her compliments would get back to everyone soon enough,

“we really are aren’t we” they both laughed softly.

Lila placed the drinks on a nearby table and sat down on the chair, sighing as she sat down.

“Lila, darling you are absolutely gorgeous. But you look complete exhausted” Freddie sat down next to her and pushed the hair that framed her face back.

“how long have you been working today” Lila looked at her watch and did the mental math,

“well I started just after midday so about 13 hours give or take” Freddie gasped and tutted

“You will run yourself ragged working like that”

“I’m not working tomorrow so I’ll be fine,” Lila said aloud more so to convince herself, but she needed the money. She had told her self she wouldn’t touch her trust money unless she absolutely needed it. She didn’t.

Lila went back to the bar and Hudson told her to finish up she could go home. He gave her the weeks’ pay which she tucked away in the pocket of her coat. She grabbed her small purse and started walking home.  It was cold. She had her big red coat, which was doing a lousy job of keeping her warm. Her uniform consisted of black high waisted shorts and a white long-sleeved button up. She left more than necessary buttons undone and always wore her best push up bra. She left her hair out in its natural waves and did her usual minimal natural makeup.  As for footwear, she wore her knee-high heeled black boots and some tan stocking underneath. It was a simple uniform, but it was flattering.

Never the less when she was walking home of a night even with her coat, she was cold. She had barely gotten 100m from the pub when a van pulled up beside her, she moved away from the road and kept walking.

“Lila, do you want a lift home” it was Roger, she let out a sigh of relief as she turned.

“It’s fine really It’s only a 10-minute walk” she didn’t want to be annoying,

“It’s late and it’s not safe to be walking around, just get in love” Lila nodded and mumbled an okay as she walked around to get in the passenger seat.  

Lila gave the easy directions and Roger drove, he pulled up directly out the front and Lila thanked him. He waited as she walked over to the door and started fishing around in her purse for the keys.

“fuck me” she tried to say it quietly, but the annoyance was obvious.  Roger had a cigarette dangling out of his mouth, as he watched her stand at the door.

“everything ‘right”

“I can’t find my keys, I must have forgotten them when I rushed to work earlier” she ran a hand through her hair and exhaled loudly.

Roger thought for a moment, but his intentions were totally innocent,

“you could come to stay with me, just wait until the morning to sort it out” he took the final drab of his cigarette before continuing, “Fred said you had the day off tomorrow”

Lila thought about it, she really had nowhere else to go.

“are you sure”

“positive”

“okay if it’s alright, I promise I'll pay you back somehow”

“Oh, I’m sure you will” Roger teased, and winked at Lila.  She scoffed as she sat back in the van.

The night went fairly normal. Roger insisted on taking the couch and letting Lila have his bed, but Lila refused to kick him out of his own bed. So, they mutually agreed to share the bed. As they laid in darkness Lila faced the wall, away from Roger, smiling.

As much as she hated to admit it to herself, he was cute and charming. it could never happen. She would not let it happen. It wasn’t hard to understand his reputation and she would not become one of those girls. She didn’t want to get tangled up in a boy. She was here for the music.

She woke up just after sunrise, after quickly finding a notebook and pen she wrote a thank you note and left some money on top.  She snuck out as quietly as she could, but she tripped on the mat, landing with a thud. Earning her a dirty look from the old lady down the hall that was collecting her paper.

Lila sat out the front of her apartment building until one of the neighbours walked out and she snuck in through the door after them. She thought that she had been clever to leave a key hidden by her door, but she had conveniently forgotten about needing a key for the apartment door.

Once she got inside, she showered and flopped back into bed, falling into a deep sleep. It was as just passed midday when she woke so after some coffee and a cookie, she started writing.

When I'm with you, I can never read your mind Why don't you know? I'm lying when I say I'm fine

Why don't you learn how to love me? When I can't sleep, would you hold me? I'd only cry if I can't speak Should've shown you how to love me

Lila sat on her living room floor scrap paper filled with lyrics and chords surrounding her, as she sang lyrics and strummed out the melody on her guitar. Her perfect voice filled the practically bare apartment, giving each word a perfect echo.  If you had of been listening, you could have sworn it was an angel.

It was dark out by the time the song was finished to Lila’s standards. She was happy, over the last week she had written countless songs but none of them felt so right. As a treat she started to run the bath, adding in some of the cheap shampoos she had brought to make bubbles. Baths always relaxed her, as her body felt like it was aching.

As she sat in the bath, she made a mental list of what she needed to do.

Firstly, she needed to get her hands on a piano. It was killing her not being able to compose on one and if she dipped into her trust money, she should have enough to get one second-hand.

Secondly, she needed to try and line up some gigs. She didn’t start until 4pm tomorrow so she would spend most of her day walking around to the cafes and bars nearby.

Thirdly she needed to buy more coffee. That was absolutely essential.

The bath water eventually went cold, so she got out and dried off, changing into some bell bottom jeans and mustard coloured cropped tee that she tied into a knot. She grabbed her purse and keys and left her apartment.  

The weeks went on and nothing much changed. Lila worked into the early morning hours most nights, she would write all day and on days off she would walk around the city trying to get gigs. Nothing worked.  Nowhere would let her play. She had been to every single Queen performance since she stayed at Roger’s. According to him, that was how she was paying him back.

Lila grew closer with the entire band.

She and Freddie would spend hours shopping and creating new ‘stage clothes’. Funnily enough, she was roughly the same size, so Freddie practically used Lila as a human mannequin. She didn’t mind. She loved how Freddie would shower her with compliments and boost her confidence like no other. Freddie reminded her of Rosie. Lila tried to ignore how much she missed Rosie, so she distracted herself with Freddie.

Brian became sort of a big brother to Lila, he very quickly became the one for all sorts of advice and help. He also came in handy when Lila had to build her furniture, she was slowly filling her apartment with.  Brian reminded her of home, it helped more than he probably knew.

John was quiet and just watched from afar for the first month or so, that was he found Lila out the back of the pub she worked at sobbing. Lila had a bad day, from not being able to pick up jobs to slicing her hand on a broken glass had been her tipping point. He held her and listened to her rambling until she calmed down. He would ask how she was, and it was like he could read through all her bullshit, he just knew.  John reminded her of Sadie, though she would never admit it. Not even to herself.  

That left Roger. From the moment Roger and Lila stood in the same room the sexual tension was so thick you could choke. From longing stares and lust filled glances, playful banter and suggestive comments from both sides it was so blinding obvious what they both wanted. It was like it had become a game. Who would crack first? Who would give in.? Lila thought she had the advantage. She would wear her short skirts and low tops; her hair fell perfectly, and she would sway her hips just slightly more. It drove Roger absolutely wild. He knew exactly what she was doing. Two could play that game. He would wear his shirts unbuttoned and hair messy, his smirk would dance across his face whenever their eyes met.  Lila swears she had never been more sexually frustrated in her life.

In the almost three months she had known the boys they had never once asked why she came to London, and in fear of what they would think Lila never told them about her music. She would go to plenty of their band practices and gigs and sing along softly but never enough to catch their attention.

That was until they had all come to her apartment in the afternoon, the only one of them that had ever been inside of her apartment was Brian and they were curious. So, she offered to cook dinner for them. She had the day off, so Lila had gone to the local food market and collected all her ingredients for her favourite meal.  She had cleaned the entire apartment, or so she thought she had grown so accustomed to the papers covered in sheet music and lyrics that she just straightens them, not thinking to move or hide them.

When she heard the door knock it was, of course, Brian and John, perfectly on time. Lila welcomed them in offering drinks and what not. The three sat around in her living room just chatting as they waited for the other two to arrive. Roger arrived next. Looking absolute ravishing of course, not that Lila would ever let Roger know that.

“ finally gracing us with your presence”  Lila tone was jokingly as she took his coat and hung it up for him, Roger got distracted by Lila’s ass before she shook himself out of his trance and commented back,

“yeah well I was deciding if I wanted to be poisoned or not”  they both playfully rolled their eyes and they got comfortable in the living room, joining in with Brain and Johns conversation  

Freddie arrived not much later, fashionably late of course. Dinner goes well everyone enjoys Lila’s cooking, playful banter was thrown across the table and everyone had a smile. After dinner, everyone retreated back into the living room and Roger is fidgeting with the papers sitting on the table next to him,  too distracted by Lila’s tight Demin skirt and dusty rosy coloured shirt that’s expertly tied just above her navel. Her legs are crossed, and her head was held up by her arm resting on the edge of the sofa. She was listening so intently to Brian’s story about space or something boring that Roger was sure of.

He looks down at the paper in his hands. It's lyrics. Song lyrics. The music notes below it is a dead giveaway. Roger read through the lyrics quickly and he didn’t recognise them, so it must be an original song. The lyric seemed so personal but also so familiar  and before he could  think the words fell from his lips,

“Lila why didn’t you tell us you wrote music”  the shock on her face cause him off guard, she looked so embarrassed, which he couldn’t understand the song was amazing he was sure it. Lyrically it was stunning.

“Oh, it uh never really came up I guess” Roger rolled his eyes, why would she hide this. She was clearly talented.  But before he could question further Freddie jumped in,

“so you sing my darling, what about instruments” Lila nodded and looked down playing with her hands as she spoke

“Yeah I uh I sing, and I play the guitar, and piano since preschool and little drums as well” she paused before continuing “I played bass a little in high school as well, but it hurt my fingers too much, so I gave up”  they all sat there astounded.

Lila. Their Lila sounded like a music prodigy and there she was working in some dodgy bar in downtown London.

“well love you must simply play something for us, something you’ve written please” Lila shook her head,

“Fred i-I couldn’t, I’ve played in front of plenty of people but you’re the best musicians I’ve ever seen It would just be embarrassing”  Freddie wasn’t having any of it he wanted to hear Lila play. He would hear Lila play if it was the last thing he did.

“well then I refuse to leave until you do so”  roger piped up as well,

“me too I wanna hear you” this encouraged Brian and John who both joined the mini protest. Lila rolled her eyes and stood up, of course, they were going to be stubborn mules.

“if it really means that much I’ll play, let me grab my guitar” she scurried off and they all started chatting excitedly. Worried that they may have gotten their hopes up, what if she was bad. They all promised they wouldn’t embarrass her or hurt her feelings no matter what she sounded like.

They all watched her every move as she sat on the armrest, a crème coloured acoustic guitar in her hand. She took a deep breath and started playing,

When I'm with you

I can never read your mind Why don't you know I'm lying when I say I'm fine Why don't you learn

How to love me When I can't sleep Would you hold me I'd only cry If I can't speak Should've to show you How to love me

Her voice was so angelic. Everyone sat there in awe as she played and sand the entire song not missing a beat. Her dainty fingers danced across the strings playing chords like they were made for her.  She finished, and nobody moved. Everyone was so entranced by her voice and the melody to even say a word.

“I knew it was bad, I …i shouldn’t have played just forget” Freddie scoffed he looked almost offended,

“forget, you want me to forget the best voice I’ve ever heard, darling you’re an angel”  Lila tried to shoot down the compliment, but no one would let her get a word in between their praises.

“play us another darling will you please”

[punmasterkentparson]

Hooked on Feelings

kicking this out of my WIP folder ‘cause it’s been there for almost a month.

(ao3, part of the Parswoops Neighbors AU)

It’s not even halfway through January when Jeff’s life takes a turn for the worst.

It happens like this: he’s walking through the parking lot of his company office when he hears a soft, sad sound. He stops dead and turns his head slowly, listening. He hears the air conditioning units on the other side of the building, and distant drone of cars on the highway. Nothing out of the ordinary. But through that, Jeff hears the sound again.

He takes a few steps towards it, stops, and listens.

There, again.

He carefully follows the noise across the parking lot, all the way to the hedges that line the building. The noise is coming from behind them, so he has to lean over them to see the source. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting. To be honest, he isn’t giving it much thought; he follows out of curiosity more than anything else.

He only realizes his mistake when he catches sight of what’s behind the bushes, curled up and shivering on the wet mulch.

“…Oh, fuck.”

–

When Jeff gets home, he puts his foundling in the bathtub, nestled among a pile of towels. The wet thing cries for an hour before going to sleep.

Jeff’s second order of business is to text Kent frantically. There’s no reply for hours.

When Kent finally does get off work, he doesn’t text to say he’s coming; he just shows up at Jeff’s front door, already grinning like a smug loon.

“Shut up,” Jeff says. Left alone to his own devices, he has lost all sense of composure. He barely managed to scrounge up dinner with a side of beer to calm his nerves. Ten minutes ago he realized he was still in his work suit and finally changed for bed, which means the rattiest clothes he owns. Meanwhile, Kent is wearing the sleek, expensive-looking active wear that’s basically his work uniform and makes him look like a fitness god. Kent looks calm and capable. Jeff feels like a helpless hot mess.

Kent comes in, still grinning. “Where is it?”

The “it” has started making noise in the bathroom again, so Jeff doesn’t even bother with an answer, just waves a hand. Kent goes right in.

As soon as Kent sees what’s in the tub, he lets out the softest gasp that Jeff has ever heard out of a grown man.

“Oh, honey,” Kent sighs, and reaches into the tub to pry a meowing, squirming little gray-and-white cat off the towels. He gathers it in his arms, heedless of its claws, and cuddles it to his chest. “Aren’t you just the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Jeff can absolutely agree with that. The cat (or kitten? It’s medium-sized, at least.) is drier than when he brought it in, but it still has matted fur in odd places and a bite out of one ear. The worst thing, however, is its tail, which is hanging on by a literal thread with the tip dragging along like a sad, lifeless caterpillar. Jeff honestly had been afraid to touch it when he found the cat outside, and had gone back to his car for a reusable shopping bag. (Which he is absolutely going to throw away or burn, now.)

Kent is cooing at the gross monstrosity and gently petting its ears. The cat has settled right in, which is annoying because Kent hasn’t even done anything yet, whereas Jeff rescued the damn thing and it squirmed the whole way into the apartment. There are red lines all over his arms from overgrown claws.

“It was outside my office,” Jeff says. “I found it in a bush. It was pretty cold, though, so it didn’t really wake up and start making a racket until I got it home.”

“And you just couldn’t leave him out there, huh?”

“How do you know it’s a he?”

“Magical cat-owner sense,” Kent replies, deadpan. “Also, I checked when I picked him up just now. He’s got massive cat balls.”

Jeff looks to the heavens for deliverance. “Look, obviously I don’t know a damn thing about cats. Can you take it for the night? I’ll pick it up tomorrow afternoon and take it to the vet, or the shelter, or whatever. Or, hell, you can keep it if you want.”

Kent’s shit-eating grin doesn’t bode well for Jeff. “Bro, I’ve got a house cat with a delicate constitution in my apartment. She’s vaccinated and shit, but who knows if this guy has fleas or ringworm or something. When I go home, I’m not even gonna touch anything until I’ve dumped all my clothes in the wash.”

“Ringworm? Fleas?” Jeff feels ill.

“Well, I take it back on the fleas,” Kent says, his fingers carefully searching through the cat’s fur. “I don’t see any flea dirt, so you’re probably in the clear. Still, better safe than sorry, those suckers are a pain in the ass to get rid of.”

This is officially the worst day of Jeff’s life. He is never going to do a good deed ever again. “So you’re telling me I’m stuck with a possibly flea and worm-infested cat for the night?”

Kent’s smile quirks in a way that’s almost fond. “I’ll hook you up with some cat food, and the name of Kit’s vet. They open at eight, so if you take some time off in the morning, you can probably take him in right away.”

“Where the fuck am I supposed to shower?”

Kent straight-up laughs, the dick. He has to see that Jeff is losing his shit. “Chill, bro. You can use mine. I’ll give you a key, you can just come right in whenever.”

So that’s that, apparently. Kent puts the cat back in Jeff’s bathtub—which Jeff definitely needs to sanitize the hell out of now, Christ, fuck everything—and leads Jeff upstairs. Before going into his apartment, Kent strips off his sweatshirt and shoes, and the moment they’re in the door he starts pulling off the rest of his clothes, too.

Despite knowing why Kent is getting naked, Jeff feels himself getting warm under the collar. And everywhere else. “Um.”

“Don’t touch anything,” Kent says as he pulls down his shorts and then shimmies out of his leggings. His ass is like marble and watching it move is making Jeff’s stomach flip. For better or worse, Kent is wearing skin-tight briefs underneath. “I’ll get the cat food, hold on.” Kit chooses that moment to run up, but Kent hops backwards, saying, “No, Kit—baby, just give daddy a sec, okay?” Then he scampers off to his bathroom, leaving a confused cat standing near Jeff, who hasn’t moved from the door except to close it behind him.

Kit sits on the floor and regards him.

“Hey,” he says. “Don’t mind me.”

Kit gives him a slow blink and a tail twitch. From Kent’s bathroom comes the sound of rummaging, and then Kent emerges wearing only a towel. He’s dry, so clearly he didn’t wash off, he just…stripped.

“Aren’t you going a little overboard?” Jeff asks. His heart feels like a locomotive picking up steam.

“Nope,” Kent replies, and disappears into the bedroom. He doesn’t close the door, so Jeff has to pretend he doesn’t see the towel getting flung onto the bed, or a flash of Kent’s bare ass as he crosses the room to his closet.

“God, I hate you, you sexy motherfucker,” Jeff mutters under his breath.

Kent comes out a few minutes later, wearing sweatpants and a clean hoodie over a ratty t-shirt. He’s got his key ring in one hand and is twisting something off it. “Here. Spare house key.” He holds it out to Jeff, who takes it.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Kent looks amused by Jeff’s befuddlement. “I sleep like a rock, so even if you come in at the asscrack of dawn, you’re not gonna wake me up.”

Waking Kent up was not the basis for Jeff’s objection. Clearly the issue of trust never crossed Kent’s mind. Jeff vows to guard the key like it’s his own deposit. “Okay. Thanks.”

After that, Kent pulls half a dozen cans of wet cat food out of his kitchen pantry and puts it in a bag for Jeff. Then he borrows Jeff’s phone and programs in the number of Kit’s vet. Jeff would chirp him for having the number memorized, if he wasn’t still vaguely haunted by the memory of Kent breaking a glass and crying in his apartment when Kit was sick.

Too soon, Jeff is back in his apartment, alone, with the yowls of a gross street cat echoing in his bathroom.

He groans, sighs, and heads for his kitchen to dig out a make-shift food bowl.

–

The next morning, Jeff wakes up at his usual time of five-thirty and hauls himself out of bed. The cat stopped crying at around one a.m., so that’s about when Jeff fell asleep. He feels like shit. He needs coffee, breakfast, and a shower. So, after starting the coffee maker, he grabs a towel and heads upstairs to Kent’s place.

Unlocking the door and sneaking inside when the lights are all off makes him feel like an intruder. He bumps into a few things on his way to the bathroom and finds out that Kent’s shower is noisy as hell. When he comes out ten minutes later, damp and wearing the clothes he arrived in, he’s amazed to see that Kent hasn’t stirred. The door to Kent’s bedroom is open and Jeff catches sight of him passed out under the layers of bed sheets.

Jeff sneaks back to his apartment. The mangy monster in his bathroom is awake and starting to meow.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll get your damn breakfast,” he tells it when he goes in to retrieve its bowl. By the time he has fed the creature and gotten coffee for himself, it’s nearly six-thirty. How does time go so fast?!

“Yeah, hi,” he says when he calls his department head. “Sorry, Ted, I know it’s early—Just needed to let you know I’ll be late getting in today. …Maybe noon? Yes, of course. I’ll email it to you, and look over your notes when I come in. …No, nothing like that. Just a little situation at home. Yeah, see you. Thanks.”

Thank god for Jeff’s infamous work ethic. He hasn’t taken unplanned time off in almost a year. People will notice he’s gone, but nobody will side-eye him for it.

It’s not until Jeff has googled the address of Kent’s vet, gotten dressed, and mentally prepared himself to head out that he realizes something vital: he has no fucking idea how he’s going to transport the furry goblin from his apartment to his car.

“Jesus H Christ.”

Last night, when Jeff wrapped it up in the cloth shopping bag, the cat had been too cold and hungry to protest. Now, having warmed up and slept and eaten, the thing is scratching at Jeff’s bathroom door and crying to be let out. Just because it didn’t scratch Kent up last night doesn’t mean it won’t tear into Jeff if he tries to move it somewhere this morning.

He digs a jean jacket and a pair of thick winter gloves out of his closet for protection. Then he steels himself for disaster and opens the bathroom door a crack to squeeze inside.

The cat doesn’t escape. Instead, it flees to the other side of the small bathroom, hiding behind the toilet and continuing to yell.

“Okay, buddy,” Jeff says. “Come quietly and please don’t send me to the hospital, yeah?”

By some miracle, Jeff gets the cat in the bag, out to his car, and halfway across town to the vet’s. He arrives about five minutes after they open, so they’re able to see him immediately. With far more visible comfort than Jeff had displayed carrying the cat in, the vet carefully takes the animal out and examines it.

“We’ll need to run some tests for parasites,” she says. “I’d also recommend an FiV test.”

“FiV?”

“Feline HIV.”

Jeff nods. “Okay. Yeah.”

“As for the tail,” she adds, carefully touching the sad, stringy thing with gloved hands, “I probably don’t have to tell you that it needs to be amputated.”

“I figured. How much will all that cost?”

She gives him a rough estimate. Jeff sighs and says, “Sure. Let’s do all the things you said.”

The tests come back in twenty minutes. It turns out that the cat does not have fleas, but it does have intestinal parasites that will require twice-a-day meds for the next week. They still need to take care of the tail, so after getting the results and paying for it all at the front desk, Jeff leaves, heading home for a change of clothes before he goes to work.

Around noon, Kent texts him.

just got up, how’s ur cat?

Jeff sighs, puts down his sandwich, and sends back,

Not my cat, and it has intestinal parasites. They’re gonna amputate the tail. I have to go back tonight to pick the cat up.

Kent sends a smilie face.

Jeff leaves work at his usual time and drives to the vet. He hadn’t told anyone at his office the reason for his morning lateness. He doesn’t want to spend a week fielding inquiries about the cat’s condition.

The cat is subdued from its experience at the vet. It has seventy-five percent less tail, the end of which is wrapped up in bandages that the cat is not allowed to lick or bite under any circumstances. A Victorian-style plastic collar has been included for the purpose of preventing this. Jeff goes home with a bag of medications, a cat carrier, and a cat brush. He’d been strongly advised to brush the cat out and get rid of the matting as soon as possible, before the clumps of fur become hazardous to the cat’s health or invite—of course—fleas.

Once home, Jeff gets the cat settled in his bathtub, giving it dinner and a bowl of water. He also brings in a few more hand towels for extra comfort, because he’s animal-inept but he’s not heartless. Now that the worst of the situation has been dealt with, he can take a moment to sit on the edge of the tub and just observe.

It’s not an ugly cat, he decides. It won’t be winning any beauty contests, not with that knobby tail stub and half-bitten ear, but its fur markings are okay. He dares to pat the cat while it eats. It ignores him.

Five minutes later, Kent shows up. “How’s the patient?” he asks, still standing at Jeff’s front door.

“You didn’t even call to see if I was home. Have you seriously been listening for me, just so you could see this damn cat?” Jeff demands.

Kent doesn’t deny it; he just waits for Jeff to roll his eyes and show him to the bathroom.

“I have two different types of meds I have to make it eat twice a day this week,” Jeff bemoans while Kent sits on the edge of the tub and coos over the cat. “I think they’re pills. How do you make cats eat pills?”

“Mix them with the food,” Kent replies. “Or find a treat the cat really loves and put it in that.”

Jeff nods. “I have to brush it out, too, apparently.” He’s a little scared to do it. What if he does it wrong and the cat bites him? What if he pulls out fur or skin?

His fear must show on his face because Kent just smiles, shakes his head, and says, “I can show you. D’you have a brush?”

And it turns out that brushes are some kind of cat cheat code. Within minutes, Kent has the cat flopped out in the tub and purring like a motor while he carefully scrapes through a thick matt near its tail. “It just takes patience,” he says. “You wanna give it a shot?”

Jeff does not. Kent gives him the brush anyway. Jeff switches spots with Kent at the tub and tries to mimic his movements with the brush. He knows he’s a bit stiff, but he’s still worried that he’s one fuckup away from a bleeding hand.

Kent, however, settles down on the tile to watch. “It’s just a cat,” he says, the lit to his voice definitely teasing. “Not a bomb. If you relax, the cat will relax.”

Jeff shakes his head. “I suck at handling animals, Parse. It’s just fact.”

Chuckling, Kent gives him a light smack on the thigh. “Good thing you’re cute, then.”

Jeff’s heart skips a beat. Kent has averted his gaze to the floor. There might be a blush on his cheeks, but Jeff doesn’t know what it means—if it’s, ‘oops, I said too much,’ or ‘oops, no homo.’ He likes Kent too much to risk being wrong. “I really doubt the cat cares,” he replies, and after the silence stretches a few safe seconds, he adds, “Thanks for helping me with this.”

Kent’s cheeks are still rosy when he looks up and grins. “No problem, man. Trust me, you’ve got this.”

–

The week drags on and Jeff doesn’t feel like he’s ‘got this’. He keeps the cat in his bathroom out of paranoia of parasites and having all his furniture clawed up while he’s gone. (After all, his apartment is not remotely cat-proofed.) Not that it matters. For the first week, he comes home daily to find shredded bath towels and teeth marks on the cabinet door corners and puddles of urine next to a perfectly good litter box that Kent helps him buy. He goes through endless paper towels and does a shit-ton of laundry and learns to dab hot sauce on anything the cat might deem edible.

He scoops so. Much. Cat poop.

But life continues, taking him to work and home again and back, and somehow he manages to feed, water, and medicate the cat without causing it any harm. He even brushes out all the matted fur, leaving bald spots and dander. Then, once the parasites are gone and the tail is healed up, he takes the cat back to the vet to be neutered. The cat strongly objects to the return of the plastic collar. Jeff figures it’s just as well he’s keeping the cat in his bathroom, since he can’t imagine what the cat might knock over with its cone head.

This means he also continues showering at Kent’s place. It feels weird. In part because he uses Kent’s shampoo since it’s easier than bringing his own every time—and because Kent insisted—but also because catching glimpses of Kent still asleep in his bed makes Jeff feel domestic. Like he actually lives with Kent, instead of just borrowing his bathroom. “Good thing you’re cute, then,” keeps echoing in his head like a broken record.

Dealing with the cat is bad enough, so Jeff pushes those heart-pang feelings to the back of his mind until he can ignore the fact that he has them.

The weekend following the cat’s neutering, there’s another hockey game with the league—and this time it’s against another team. A co-ed club from a community college the next city over takes the bus into Vegas, gear and sticks and all.

Jeff really enjoys playing that night. There’s an acute sense of competition, of “us versus them,” and although there are no refs to call penalties and therefore a standing agreement that they all play fair, Jeff wouldn’t say they’re all necessarily polite. Nobody is hooking or tripping or cross-checking, but they’re also not above bodily shoving each other out of the way to get at the puck.

The co-ed team wins.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime?!” Rabs hollers at them as they celebrate, which gets him some laughter from both teams and a brazen middle finger from one of the college kids.

“I’m surprised your knee held out two full periods, old man!” yells back a girl who’s probably barely eighteen, and she high-fives her teammates when the beer league guys just laugh at Rabs.

Half the beer league and most of the college kids go out for drinks after. As they commandeer a couple of tables, Bommer yells over the fuss, “If I catch any of you kids drinking underage or using a fake I.D., I’ll arrest your ass. Got it?” Then he heads for the bar.

One of the college kids leans close to Jeff. “He’s not serious, is he?”

Jeff knows for a fact that Bommer isn’t, because Bommer arrests drug dealers and vandals and rapists but not idiot college kids trying to sneak a beer—he just lectures them into next week. But Jeff looks the college kid dead in the eye and lies, “He once arrested his own daughter.”

It’s really fun to watch that little story get passed around in hushed whispers.

It’s also surprisingly fun to hang out with the college kids. Sure, they’re obnoxiously cocky and self-assured, but it’s just a product of their age. They chat about school, careers, reality TV, celeb gossip—and hockey, of course hockey. Some of the college kids are shooting for the big leagues, others content to leave hockey on the sidelines while they pursue other dreams. The college kids who are legal get drunk faster than the league guys. Most of them proceed to make fools of themselves, while their underage friends take pictures and videos to blackmail them with later.

It’s good. Kent is two seats down, close enough for Jeff to yell-talk at him but far enough away that after Jeff’s hands won’t get stupid after he’s had a few beers. Kent is loose and relaxed tonight, his smiles a dime a dozen, and every time Jeff catches one directed at him, his stomach swoops.

The college kids nearby manage to drag him into a conversation about Survivor, and then Lost. This leads to him getting into an argument with two of the girls about which season of Lost was the best (Jeff says the first, they’re adamant it’s the last). One of the girls is laughing a little too much at his lame-ass jokes and almost falling over her friend as she leans in to yell over the music. At one point, she catches herself from swaying with a hand on Jeff’s thigh and she leaves it there, and—okay, Jeff knows what this is.

He laughs and says, “I think you’ve had enough for the evening, huh?” He takes her hand off his leg and politely pushes it back to her. She’s drunk enough that her embarrassment just makes her laugh, and her friends laugh, too.

“Are you gay?” asks the drunk girl. It’s not an accusation, just a loose tongue brought on by alcohol. “’Cause, like, that’s cool, just I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable, you know?”

“I am, actually,” Jeff says, and winks. “But even if I wasn’t, you’re a little young for me, honey.”

“But college boys are so lame!” the drunk girl hollers, and a couple of the guys around her immediately jump in to refute this assertion.

The conversations splinter and roll on. Jeff’s attention shifts away from the college kids and back to his own friends, where a few seats are already empty due to the guys in question having babysitters to relieve, spouses to see, or weekend shifts to get ready for. Kent, for once, isn’t heading home early, although he does keep checking his phone.

When he catches Jeff looking, he grins and shows him a livestream feed of his living room. In it, Kit is curled up on the sofa.

“That’s adorable,” Jeff says, and he really means it.

Kent grins and takes his phone back. “What about your monster?”

Jeff is not thankful for the reminder. “I fed him and made him take his pills before I left. I also scooped his gross litter box and changed the towels in the tub. He won’t stop peeing on them,” he complains.

Mike leans in. “Swoops, are you holding a kid hostage in your bathroom?”

Kent’s grin takes on epic proportions. “Jeff got a cat.”

“I did not get a cat,” Jeff corrects. “I found a dirty stray in a bush outside my office, and now it lives in my bathroom. I haven’t showered in my own apartment in weeks.”

Mike makes a point of sniffing Jeff until Jeff shoves him away. “Funny, you don’t smell any worse than usual.”

“Haha, you’re hilarious. I’m showering—somewhere else.” Jeff catches himself before he confesses to both having Kent’s apartment key and free access to his shower. Mike looks skeptical, so Jeff adds, “At a neighbor’s.”

“Generous neighbor,” Mike says, at exactly the same time as Kent stands up and says, “Last round, any takers? I mean orders, you moochers, I’m not paying!” All the previous requests for booze are waived off, which make Jeff laugh.

Once Kent is gone, Mike raises an eyebrow at him and says, “Kent lives in your building, doesn’t he?”

“Sure does,” Jeff replies, and chugs half his beer to avoid furthering that line of inquiry.

Mercifully, Mike lets it go, and they talk about other things. Until Mike is checking over his shoulder at the bar and lets out a low whistle. “Well, that’s ballsy.”

Jeff knows he shouldn’t look. He looks.

Kent is leaning on the bar, drink in hand, talking to one of the college guys. They must have met up at the bar, getting drinks at the same time. Except they’re standing close, and College Boy has a hand on Kent’s arm, and as Jeff watches, College Boy leans in to say something into Kent’s ear. Something that makes Kent laugh.

College Boy is flirting and Kent…doesn’t mind.

Jeff turns back around. He feels like his face is on fire. Guess that answers the question of homo or no homo, he thinks, mildly hysterical.

Next to him, Mike says, “The kid’s got balls going for Parson, I’ll give him that. He’s a little on the young side.”

“They’re both adults,” Jeff replies, mouth on autopilot. Now that the surprise is wearing off, he’s starting to simmer with resentment. How the fuck is a college kid managing the balls to flirt with Kent when Jeff has been sitting on his own hands since fall?

Mike snorts, and takes another look back over his shoulder. “Well, you can chill. Parson’s coming back.”

A few seconds later, Kent drops into his seat and then asks, utterly sans segue, “If Darth Vader and Voldemort faced off, who would win?”

“Voldemort,” says Mike without hesitation.

Kent gestures so hard with his free hand that he almost spills his drink in the other. “That’s what I said!” he exclaims, and then shouts down the table, “Because you can’t use the force if you’re Avada Kedavera’d to death, Peter!”

Jeff looks down the table and recognizes “Peter” as the flirt. He’d been on the brink of voting for Vader, just to be contrary, but now the retort dies in his throat.

Mike says, “I was thinking more along the lines that he’d be faster. Is magic even legal during a game?”

Peter is shaking his head. “If it’s not legal in Quidditch, it’s not legal in hockey.”

“Do wizards even have hockey?” asks a girl next to Peter.

“Darth Vader probably sucks at hockey,” Kent says. “He grew up on a freaking desert planet, come on.”

Somehow, the argument continues for another half hour. Jeff thinks the only reason they eventually leave is because the bar makes its last call, and the fact that all the college kids still have to get to their motel.

Outside the bar, while they wait for taxis, Jeff sees Peter sidle up to Kent again and murmur into his ear. Kent giggles, shakes his head, and gently pushes Peter away towards his friends, who pull him towards a cab. Jeff shouldn’t feel as relieved as he does.

Kent catches Jeff watching. Jeff instantly looks away.

After Peter is gone, Kent joins Jeff on the sidewalk. “That bother you?”

Jeff’s heart jack-knifes in his chest. “No,” he manages. “Why—why would it bother me?” As smooth as a rockslide. Fantastic.

Kent shrugs and puts his hands in his pockets. “I dunno. Some guys have a thing about it. And, you know, I never mentioned I’m bi, so…” Another shrug.

Oh. Oh. They’re having a totally different conversation than Jeff thought. He’s not being called out on his pining; Kent thinks Jeff might be a shade homophobic. Clearly he didn’t catch the exchange Jeff had with that college girl in the bar. He needs a moment to re-orient himself. Then he blurts, “I’m super gay. Just—unbelievably gay. My horoscope sign is a rainbow unicorn.”

Kent doubles over laughing. When he can speak again, he wheezes, “Wow. Okay. Crisis averted. Jesus, that’s the funniest thing you’ve ever said.”

“It was definitely not,” Jeff argues. “I’ve said way funnier.”

“Way dumber, too.”

“You’ve said way dumber, today.”

Kent laughs again and slings an arm around Jeff. It feels hot and strong and Jeff’s whole body is tingling. Kent leans in and declares, grinning, “Yeah, but I’m drunk, ripped, and hot. Nobody gives a shit what I say.”

Jeff picks a perfect time to glance sideways and drop his gaze to Kent’s mouth. Christ, it looks wet and soft.

“See, you’re not listening to me at all, are you?”

“Am too,” Jeff retorts, strained, and drags his gaze back up. There’s a shadow on Kent’s jaw, the blond beard just dark enough to betray a missed morning shave, and Jeff is having the insane urge to just lean in and find out what that feels like under his tongue.

Rabs startles him half to death by yelling, “We got you guys a cab, get in!”

They’re sharing with Cash, which is a blessing and a curse. Jeff gets squished between them, and when Cash starts pulling up pics of his kids that his babysitter sent, Kent leans over to see. He smells like beer and fried cheese and hours-old cologne, and his warm, solid body is plastered all up along Jeff’s side. Kent puts his arm back around Jeff and it feels so good to be tucked against him that Jeff’s chest feels like it’s caving in with the force of his heartache.

God, how he wants.

Kent’s and his apartment comes first. They clamor out and wave after the disappearing taxi until it’s gone. Then they head into the building, where they find an Out Of Order sign on the elevator.

“Goddammit,” Jeff grumbles. “I hate taking the stairs. So much fucking exercise.”

Kent grabs his hand and tugs him towards the exit door. “It’s just five flights. Come on, you baby.”

“I’ve got four flights to climb,” Jeff complains, though he’s mostly distracted by the firm surety of Kent’s grip to really protest. “Why are you dragging me up to your floor?”

Kent holds his hand up the whole three flights. Jeff’s heart is pounding by the time they reach Kent’s apartment. He knows it’s not from the climb.

“You wanna come in for a bit?” Kent asks. “Say hi to Kit?” His smile is lopsided and so openly fond that Jeff knows, intuitively and like a vise on his ribs, that if he says ‘yes’ to that offer, he might actually get what he’s longing for.

He didn’t know until now that he’s a coward.

“I gotta check on the monster,” he says, carefully letting go of Kent’s hand. “You know, food and shit.”

“Right, right.” Kent’s hands go into his pockets, out of reach. Jeff wants them back in his more than he can say; which is probably why he doesn’t.

“Night, Parser.”

“Night, Jeff.”

It’s a lonely walk up to his apartment. As soon as he’s inside, he clenches his jaw, then his fists, and after a second of internally fuming, he kicks the door. “Goddammit!” he hisses. “Fuck. Fuck me.”

From his bathroom, the stray cat yowls. Jeff waits until he has taken a few calming breaths before going to feed it.

He finds broken glass and the stench of cologne. The cat is cowering in a corner to hide from the smell.

“I hate you,” Jeff groans, and retreats to the kitchen for a roll of paper towels.

–

Nothing changes between Jeff and Kent. Jeff remembers everything from that night and he knows Kent remembers everything too, but nothing about their friendship changes. Jeff wouldn’t have minded that if he didn’t get the feeling he’d blown his chance for more.

At the next hockey game, there are two scouts in the stands, and Kent chats with them both. He also chats with the scouts who show up to the game after that.

It’s impossible for the rest of the guys to miss.

“They’re like flies on shit all of a sudden,” Rabs says after a day of three scouts. “Parser, you getting any offers?”

“Did you just call me dogshit?” Kent demands, and then shrugs noncommittally. “Not really offers, just talks.”

“Yeah, but. You gonna sign, if you get something good?”

And Kent replies to that like he always does—laughs it off, shakes his head, says something about how nobody’s really looking to sign him, they’re just checking him off a list of known free agents. None of it means anything.

Jeff believes that, right up until he sees the contracts.

It’s by accident; he goes into Kent’s apartment at the ass-crack of dawn, like always, ready to shower. He finds Kent passed out on the sofa. Jeff pauses in the living room, curious, because Kent is wearing his sleeping clothes but clearly drifted off before he made it to bed. The lamp next to him is still on.

What catches Jeff’s eye are the contracts spilled out over Kent’s coffee table. There are three, as far as he can tell, and each one has a piece of notepaper next to it covered in notes.

It’s what Jeff wanted for Kent, and what Kent has worked for. But it makes Jeff feel so sick at heart that he almost leaves without his shower. Almost.

Kent is awake when Jeff comes out of the bathroom, damp and clean. The contracts are stacked up, not gone. Kent is sitting upright on the sofa, rubbing his eyes.

“Good offers?” Jeff asks, like a jackass, because if Kent hasn’t ever mentioned it before then it’s obviously not something he wanted to discuss.

Kent sighs, sounding exhausted, and shrugs. “Bunch of zeroes. No-trade clauses, two- and three-year deals. So. Objectively, sure.”

Jesus. That’s the real deal. “Are you going to sign?”

Kent sighs again. “I don’t fucking know, Jeff.”

That’s not a “no.”

Jeff leaves and doesn’t bring it up again. He doesn’t mention it to the guys, not even Mike. Kent acts like it didn’t happen, still coming to games and texting Jeff at work and dropping by Jeff’s apartment to visit the monster cat that still lives in Jeff’s bathroom. The cat has monopolized the space for almost two months, now, because Jeff is too afraid of the potential destruction to let it wander free.

“I can help you cat-proof your place, you know,” Kent offers—again—one night when he comes over. He’s crammed into the bathroom with Jeff and the cat. Somehow, Kent has managed to entrance the cat with just a shoelace, dangling it and pulling it along the tiles and laughing when the cat tries and fails to pounce on it. “You can’t keep him in your bathroom forever. Have you even named him?”

Jeff calls the cat “the monster” or “Monster,” but Kent continues to insist that Jeff pick something better. Kent also brings new cat toys and treats every week, like the animal is a nephew he’s trying to spoil. Jeff has repeatedly asked Kent if he wants to keep the cat, but Kent keeps saying no. Jeff gets the impression that Kent expects him to keep Monster, so Kent can continue to dote on it.

Honestly, Jeff has thought about it. But he keeps coming to the conclusion that it’s not in the cards. He likes his life how it is and he doesn’t want the complication. So he says, “It doesn’t matter what I name him. The new owner will probably change it. I’ve got someone at the office who’s seen pics and she says she’s interested.”

Kent goes still. “Wait, you’re seriously giving him away?”

Jeff internally squirms under Kent’s wide-eyed look of betrayal, turning his gaze to Monster instead. “I’m not a cat person, Parse, I told you. It was okay playing the good Samaritan for a bit, but this isn’t me. I can’t see myself having a cat long-term.”

“Oh.” Kent is quiet for a long moment. Monster jumps on the shoelace and tugs it away; Kent doesn’t resist. “I guess you should do what’s best for you.”

“That’s all it is, Parse. I’m just not a cat person.”

Soon after that conversation, Kent leaves. He smiles as he goes, acting casual, but there’s a shadow in his eyes like something’s gone wrong. And, look, Jeff doesn’t always catch on quick, but he’s not an idiot. Even if he’s not sure what specific sentence was the wrong one, he knows he fucked up somehow. Rather than go upstairs and ask Kent to clarify, however, he just curses himself and kicks his door. Again. It’s becoming a pattern.

Why is he such a coward when it comes to Kent? Even back when Kent was a noisy menace, the only time Jeff didn’t go upstairs to confront him about it was the one time it had sounded like Kent really needed company. Now that he knows Kent personally, would he do differently? He hopes so. But, god—he also never pegged himself as a guy who’d avoid so many important conversations just because he was afraid of the outcome, even a potentially good one. He’d always thought that if he ever cared about someone like he cares about Kent, he’d bare his heart and put it all on the line.

He never expected to find himself approaching Valentine’s Day wondering if Kent was already finding someone else.

It’s desperation for reassurance, not courage, that makes him text Kent about coming over for pizza and beer.

“Dude, about time you had me over again,” Kent says when he arrives.

Jeff rolls his eyes and waves him in. “The fuck do you mean ‘about time,’ you’ve been over here doting on the cat every day.”

“Your cat is better looking, is why,” Kent replies. He heads for the sofa, only to stop short when he sees Monster curled up on it.

“Oh, yeah,” Jeff says. “My co-worker is picking him up tomorrow. I thought I’d give him a night to live it up before he moves out. How much damage can he do, right?”

Kent snorts. The look on his face is one of jumbled emotions, confusion and fondness and resignation.

“You can move him,” Jeff says. “He’s pretty chill suddenly, doesn’t really care if you pick him up or touch his feet and shit. Which is a goddamn turnaround, considering how nuts he always acted in the bathroom.”

“He just needed to feel at home, that’s all.” Kent crouches by Monster and pets him until he purrs and shows his belly. “Nobody feels at home in just a bathroom.”

Jeff feels awkward and he’s not sure why. “You know you could still keep him, if you really wanted. I’ll tell my co-worker there was a change of plans. She’ll understand.” She won’t. But Jeff would face Sarah’s sour disappointment for a year if it meant keeping Kent happy.

Except the offer just makes Kent look more unhappy. “No, it’s—fine. You promised.” Kent sits on the sofa arm, still petting Monster. “Come on, gimme pizza.”

Kent acts normally from then on, talking shit through the movie and criticizing Jeff’s choice in beer. But there’s a sadness weighing on him that comes out in the silences, and makes his fingers drift to Monster’s fur whenever he’s lost in thought. Monster attaches himself to Kent, nuzzling and purring, like he thinks Kent needs it.

Jeff hates it because it feels like his fault. Which it can’t be, because if Kent won’t keep the cat and Jeff can’t, there’s nothing else to fucking do.

The night concludes as it always does, with Kent smiling and giving him a half-hug before going home, and Jeff still sitting on a crush that he hasn’t yet dared to air out. In the living room, Monster is stalking the empty pizza boxes. When Jeff walks over and shoos him away from a stray piece of crust, Monster meows indignantly.

“You’re a weird-ass cat, you know that?” Jeff grumbles, and wiggles the boxes until Monster hops out.

Jeff crosses his fingers for no overnight disasters and goes to bed early. He wakes up on Sunday morning to find Monster sprawled out on his bed, whiskers twitching in his sleep. Jeff stares for a while. Monster still isn’t a beauty; he’s got half an ear on one side, almost no tail, and even without his balls he has a throaty, tomcat yowl. All of these disclaimers were made clear to Sarah before she agreed to take him. Jeff supposes that if you’re into cats, the little imperfections don’t matter.

Monster blinks awake and sees Jeff already looking. Without prompt, Monster starts to purr.

“You’re a terrible cat,” Jeff tells him. “I can’t wait until you’re gone and I can have my own life again.”

Monster closes his eyes and purrs louder.

“Shut up.” Jeff gets out of bed. Monster, sensing breakfast, follows. Once there’s food in front of Monster, Jeff escapes to his bathroom. He gets his towel and clothes and is halfway out his door before he remembers that he doesn’t need Kent’s shower anymore.

Well. That’s how it should be.

So he goes back to his bathroom and gets in his own shower for the first time in over a month. It feels strange. Kent’s shower setup had been the apartment’s standard, but Jeff’s is custom, and it’s like he’s completely forgotten how to use his own showerhead. He keeps twisting the knobs wrong, and twice he misplaces his shampoo. When he gets out, he shaves over the sink and frowns at himself in the mirror.

He takes Monster—and all of Monster’s accumulated shit—to his co-worker’s house that afternoon. Sarah takes Monster out of his carrier right away and coos over him. Monster squirms.

“He needs time getting used to new places,” Jeff says. “And new people.” Even as he says it, it doesn’t feel true. Monster had settled into Jeff’s bathroom and then his apartment in no time flat. And although Monster had been a matted, parasite-infested wreck when he first met Kent, he’d done nothing but knead and purr.

Sarah closes the door behind Jeff and puts Monster down. Monster slinks up to the first bit of furniture he can find—a bookshelf—and cautiously sniffs it. “We’ll make it work,” Sarah says.

Jeff nods. “Just leave him alone and keep feeding him, he loves food. He doesn’t care what happens as long as there’s food in front of him. Oh, and play with him. He’s got a ton of cat toys, courtesy of my neighbor, although for some reason he likes dumb stuff like shoelaces and towels.”

Sarah gives him a look. “Are you sure you don’t want to keep him? You sound attached.”

Jeff watches Monster take a slow swat at a book and ignores the tightness in his chest. “I’m not a cat person.”

Sarah nods. “Well, okay. Do you want to come into the kitchen, have a drink? I’ve got coke, coffee, or I can make tea. Give you a little more time to say goodbye to your cat?”

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

And just like that, Jeff is out the front door and back in his car, driving home. Alone.

–

Without Monster around, Kent has no concrete reason to drop by all the time, so he mostly stops. They don’t drift apart—they keep texting, and sometimes bump into each other in the elevator. But Jeff doesn’t fool himself; it’s not the same. He spends the next week feeling like there’s a hole in his life, and he’s self-aware enough to know that the hole is Kent-shaped. Their conversations aren’t as frequent and lack the spark they used to.

At the next hockey game, Kent doesn’t make a beeline for him the second he steps on the ice. There’s a scout waiting for Kent when the game is done, and he spends a long time talking with the guy—the longest he’s talked with any of them yet. He’s actually late to arrive at the bar, and when he takes a seat on the other end of the table from Jeff, it feels on purpose, not by chance.

Jeff is starting to feel like he gave away Kent along with Monster.

Are you mad at me? he sends from his work desk on Thursday, when he should be typing up a report. ‘Cause I didn’t keep the cat?

Kent’s reply comes instantly. And keeps coming.

Kent: what?! no!! of course not. i guess i just miss him. i got used to him being around but i’m not mad at YOU for not keeping him. its your life. and i really believe you should only get a pet if ur 110% committed. you shouldn’t make a commitment if you’re not able to, u know?

Me: Exactly. I just want what’s best for Monster.

Kent: i know. i’m never gonna be mad at u for doing what u gotta do, k? i’ll get over it.

Jeff should put his phone down and get back to work. But he feels like they’re finally communicating after almost two weeks of being lukewarm, and he’ll be hard-pressed to find this level of openness again. So he sends,

Me: You know you’re my best friend, right?

Kent’s icon shows that he’s typing for a long time; either preparing to send a wall of text, or second-guessing himself dozens of times. Neither bodes well.

Kent: i didn’t, actually. but ur mine, too.

Fuck, Jeff will die happy just from this.

Me: Right. So I want you to know that you’ll still be my best friend if you play in the NHL. Or the AHL. Or if you move to Russia and join the KHL. Or turn them all down and play in the beer league the rest of your life. You’re my best friend and nothing changes that.

Another long pause.

Kent: thanks, man.

It’s not much, but Jeff smiles in relief, anyway.

–

On Friday, as Jeff is getting ready to leave work, Sarah comes up to him. She’s been showing Jeff and everyone else in the office photos of Monster—re-named Stuart—since the day she brought him home. Jeff expects more of the same today, and mentally prepares an excuse to leave after viewing no more than five pictures.

He’s confused when, instead of pulling out her phone, Sarah asks, “Are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“No?” Jeff replies, then freezes when he remembers that tomorrow is February 14th, Valentine’s Day. Awkwardly, he says, “I’m, uh, flattered, but—”

“What?” Sarah blinks, and then her eyes go wide. “Oh—god, no! Jeff, I have a girlfriend.”

“…Oh.” Jeff takes a moment to mentally re-evaluate everything he knows about Sarah. He feels stupid for assuming that the woman in all her photos was her sister.

“Yeah,” Sarah says, like she can hear what he’s thinking. “Which is why—god, I feel terrible about this, but I can’t keep Stuart. My girlfriend is allergic. I mean really allergic.” She sighs. “We knew she had allergies, but they’ve never been so bad. She can’t come over to my place at all.”

“Oh,” Jeff repeats. “I can, uh, pick him up this evening? If you want?”

Sarah looks relieved enough that she might hug him. “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry. You were right, Stuart is a sweetheart once he warms up to you, and Jenna and I love him so much. But… well, we’d really rather just get a hypoallergenic cat than install special filters all over the house and do laundry three times a week.”

Although Jeff has never had allergy issues, he finds it easy to relate to the problem of Monster giving him too much housework. “It’s fine. I was gonna leave now, but I can hang back until you’re done.”

“Thanks so much. I’ve just got to send a couple of emails and I’ll be ready to head out.”

It’s dark when they get to the parking lot. Jeff follows Sarah’s car to her house, and comes inside with her to collect all of Monster’s belongings. Monster comes right up to him and rubs against Jeff’s shins, purring and meowing.

“Aww, he missed you.”

Jeff can feel himself blushing a little, so he just shrugs and stoops to pat Monster’s head. Monster yowls and pushes his face into Jeff’s fingers. “Yeah, yeah,” Jeff mutters while Sarah stuffs the last of Monster’s toys into a bag, and then to Monster he says, “Apocalyptic allergies, huh? Nice to see you can make a nuisance of yourself wherever you go.”

Monster is noisy on the drive home, in the elevator up to Jeff’s apartment, and then even after Jeff has brought him inside and let him out. Monster prances around rubbing against all the furniture.

Jeff drops the bag of toys next to the sofa and sinks onto the cushions. Monster trots in from the next room and hops up next to him, climbing onto Jeff’s lap and meowing at him. Jeff gets a face-full of fish-scented cat breath and coughs. “I was nearly free of you,” he complains, and submits to Monster’s demands by scratching his chin. “I don’t have anyone else lined up to take you.” He thinks for a minute. “We could put up flyers, maybe. Free cat to good home. Facebook, too, I’ve got a ton of friends all over the country who are suckers for cats.”

Monster closes his eyes and settles down on Jeff’s lap while Jeff keeps scratching his chin. The warmth and weight of Monster is kind of nice, Jeff decides. And waking up to Monster that one morning was the least lonely he’s felt at five a.m. in…well, a while.

“One of the guys might take you,” he continues, still brainstorming aloud. “Cash’s kids have been bugging him for a pet. You’d be good with kids, right? You’re chill. And you don’t have much of a tail to pull or step on.”

Monster begins to purr. It’s a deep, guttural rumble that seems to seep into Jeff’s bones.

“Oh, Christ, stop. I’m not keeping you, you goddamn noisy, ugly cat. Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve been from start to finish? You destroyed my bathroom. You’d probably destroy my apartment. And you’re expensive, fuck, I’ve dropped so much cash on you. You had parasites, remember? Then the surgery for your tail, plus your balls, and if I keep you, I just know Parser is gonna talk me into microchipping you ‘cause he’s paranoid like that.”

He sighs, his fingers slowing. Monster tucks his face into his paws, so Jeff strokes his fur instead. Monster keeps purring. “I hate you, Monster. So much.”

He can’t fucking believe he’s considering this.

–

The next morning, Jeff wakes up to Monster curled up at his side.

“Manipulative little shit,” he accuses, to which Monster mumble-meows and bats at Jeff’s face until he gets up.

Jeff feeds Monster in the kitchen. While Monster noisily eats a can of soggy Friskies cat food, Jeff starts the coffee pot and contemplates…everything. Last night he’d gone to bed without making a firm decision about Monster. In the cold darkness of the morning, he doesn’t feel any surer. He’s still not a cat person. The whole experience of feeling outrageously sentimental about a pet is still something he can’t fully relate to. Even Monster, with his soft fur and adoring slow-blinks and motorboat purr, is still an alien entity whom Jeff regards with more confusion than unconditional love.

But as he watches Monster chomp down a fat piece of tuna, Jeff has to admit that he has grown attached.

He can’t fucking believe he’s resigning himself to this.

Kent will be ecstatic.

Kent also might sign an NHL contract and move across the country, rarely seen again, and it won’t matter that Jeff has finally given in and adopted Kent’s favorite ratty cat. Anything Jeff could have said, anything he might have wanted, will be lost in the face of Kent’s new whirlwind career.

A man can only be a coward for so long.

Fuck it, Jeff decides. If he can’t find the courage to do this shit on Valentine’s Day at the ass-crack of dawn when he has just decided to keep an utter wreck of a stray cat, he never will.

He puts on his fuzziest slippers and warmest sweatshirt and ventures upstairs. With his heart pounding in his chest, he knocks on Kent’s door.

Eventually, it opens. “Fuck, Jeff, it’s like six o’clock,” Kent complains when he answers. He’s wearing sweatpants and no shirt and he’s got terrible bedhead, plus a couple creases in his face from his pillow. He looks like he has every morning that Jeff has snuck by him sleeping in bed.

By now, Jeff’s urge to wrap himself around Kent and bury his face in Kent’s neck is mostly under control. “Just let me say this before I chicken out,” Jeff replies, and that gets him Kent’s attention. He takes a fortifying breath and says, “I like you.” Not the most eloquent, but in his defense, he hasn’t had coffee yet.

Kent blinks. He definitely hasn’t had coffee yet, either. “I like you, too?”

“No, Parser, I like you. Do you remember when I first brought Monster back from the vet, and we were sitting in my bathroom brushing him and I said that I sucked at animals, and you said it was a good thing I’m cute? I’ve been thinking about that non-stop ever since.”

Kent blinks again. “That was two months ago.”

“I know. But I’ve been thinking about it because it was the first time I really chickened out of being honest with you. Because you’re my best friend, and I don’t have best friends, so I can’t fuck this up with you. But I’ve also got a cat downstairs that I am apparently fucking keeping now, so if I can do that insane shit, I can do this insane shit.”

Kent’s eyes widen. “You’ve got—Monster?”

“Sarah, my co-worker, her girlfriend has massive allergies, so she asked me to take Monster back. I picked him up yesterday. I figure I’ll just keep him. Look, I’m sorry it’s so fucking early and I’m sorry it’s Valentine’s Day, I’m not trying to be a cliché, it’s just that I’ve been wanting to kiss you since Christmas and I kept chickening out—and for Christ’s sake, why are you always half naked? You wear shirts to bed, I’ve seen you.”

Kent’s sliver of a smile is halfway between amused and incredulous. “You’re getting off topic.”

“Not if you’re this sexy on purpose.”

“You’re really keeping Monster?”

That doesn’t answer Jeff’s totally legitimate question at all—because it is still the middle of February and damn cold. But Jeff nods seriously. “Yeah. Might as well. I’m already two months committed, what’s another ten years?”

Kent shakes his head, grins, and steps in close enough that Jeff can smell the faint remains of his body wash. It’s citrusy, familiar, and intoxicating. “I actually did take my shirt off a couple times when I saw it was you. Not always. But you always got so red, I figured it couldn’t hurt to throw you off your game.”

“I knew it—” is all Jeff gets out before Kent kisses him. It’s careful and hesitant, just the barest brush of lips in hopeful inquiry. Jeff pushes back a little to make it firm, more sure, and smiles against Kent’s mouth when Kent hums in relief. It’s good to know he’s not the only one who’s afraid of a kiss fucking everything up.

When they part, Jeff says, “Just ‘cause I’m not a cat person doesn’t mean I can’t date one.”

Kent has his hands on Jeff’s hips and he squeezes gently. “Looks like you’re a cat person now, too.”

“No, I’m not. I have a cat, Parse, I’m not a cat person.”

“Semantics.”

“Do you wanna come downstairs and see my new awful cat, or not?”

Kent’s grin widens and he wraps his arms around Jeff’s waist. It eliminates the last few breaths of distance between them and makes Jeff gulp. The visual of Kent half-naked didn’t at all prepare him for the feel of it. “Yeah,” Kent says. His smile is like the sun. “Lead the way.”

[itsfoxseo-blog]

Possessed (M)

Pairing: Reader x Jackson, reader x Yoongi

Word count: 15k+

Genre: Demon AU!, angst( TRIGGER:mentions of abuse, suicide, and strong emotions), fluff, comedy, slight gore, smut, minor mentions of descriptive dirty talk and name calling, cream pie, unsafe sex. 

Warnings: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships, cheating, abuse, gore. 

A/N: “I just thought of this while at work last night so I typed it out without really re-reading it or editing it! Hopefully it isn’t complete trash!”

(PHOTO IS NOT MINE)

________________________________________________________________

The cold night air whipped through your hair wildly, groaning slightly at the annoyance you pulled the hat you were wearing down further to hopefully tame your locks a bit. It had been a busy hectic night, working two jobs seemed easier than it was and you just wanted to take a long hot bath before sleeping in your own bed.

Looking up at the night sky as you quickly weaved through the crowds of people trying to get home as quickly as you could you noticed it was a full moon, tilting your head for just a moment you felt like you had heard something about the moon going into something. Super moon? Moon in gemini? You couldn’t remember properly, all you knew was it was going to result in some interesting work for you tomorrow night most likely.

Using one hand you pulled your phone out ot check the time, 1:45 am. Sighing you knew that he’d most likely still be out, not that you cared anymore but it was always irritating being woken up by his drunken loud self after the clubs and bars would cut him off.

You checked through your notifications while waiting at a crosswalk, some of your friends had messaged you asking you to come out- though when you checked what time they sent those requests you felt a little disheartened. One thing about your side job was that it usually always ran late and most always called you in when you were about to make plans, the messages were sent a little over two hours ago. Though you knew you could still go out if you really wanted to, the clubs didn’t close until 10 am, some of them staying open into the afternoon.

You just weren’t feeling it, though you noted that the next time you’d have time you would seize the opportunity to finally let yourself escape for a little bit, if only for one night. You had taken up a second job to save up money, the side job paying incredibly well if the client was serious about it. You had more than enough to make your own escape but being the careful person you’d like to believe you were, you thought you should save up triple the amount that you needed. Typing out with one hand as you crossed the road you replied with your sad rejection at the idea and smiled when he started to type back only moments after you had sent the message.

Namjoon had always been someone who’d shown genuine concern and love for you as the years went on, friends had come and gone like the seasons yet he remained a constant in your life. Just as a friend of course, he had introduced you to some of his friends who- like him, also stayed in your life. Maybe they stayed because you weren’t around enough for them to want to leave but either way, you were content with it.

Namjoon: That’s alright we’ll let you know what we’re doing again next weekend! Text me when you get home, if he gives you any issues just call me and I’ll come get you.

Smiling you quickly typed out a response.

You: Thanks, I really want to get wasted one of these nights. I’ll let you know, thank you.

Just as before it only took a few seconds before he was typing out his response, the little dots on the screen letting you know.

Namjoon: Of course.

Slipping your phone back into your pocket you let out a dramatic sigh as you were greeted by the doorman to your apartment complex, giving him a small wave you made your way into the building and to your apartment.

--

The sound of your password being accepted chimed into the empty apartment, grunting as you threw your shoes off and tossed your heavy coat and scarf somewhere on the floor. The only thing you handled with care was your work bag, the contents being somewhat fragile. After you placed it in the closet you started to strip your clothes off, picking them up and tossing them into a hamper that was overflowing with your clothes. 

Now completely naked you made your way to the bathroom, staring at yourself in the mirror you licked at your chapped lips before chewing on the lower lip. You looked wrecked, tired, and in your own opinion- like shit. No wonder he hasn't tried anything with you lately, he had barely been around when you were home. The only times he seemed to be home were on sunday afternoons, nursing a hangover or at the early hours of the morning before heading off to his own job. Still staring at your reflection you thought about your relationship, where it had all gone wrong. How it all went wrong, you’d known for almost a year now and he still didn’t think you knew. He still told you sweet nothings, still attempted to appear innocent in your eyes.

 At first- when you found out, you were so stressed out and in shock from it all that you fell ill. You even had to be hospitalized, you lost weight and your health plummeted. He slept by your side in the hospital which made it even worse, you wanted to die. You wanted to end everything, leave a note and let him live with the guilt of being the reason you had ended it all. 

You had wanted nothing more than to watch him squirm in self loathing, unfortunately you learned that would never happen. Coming to your senses while you would watch his sleeping figure every night in the hospital bedroom you realized someone like him, someone who would lie to your face every single day and still be by your side showing no signs of guilt- would never feel what you wanted him to. You had been together for four years, he was your first serious relationship. You had opened yourself up to him reluctantly after giving in to his constant pursuit of you. You had spilled almost everything about yourself to him, the trauma you went through, the betrayal you’ve experienced before and the lies everyone of your past always tried feeding you. He swore he’d never be like them, he’d promised with tears in his eyes and a look of pure passion and determination that he would never hurt you like they did. But surprise surprise, he did. Walking over to the large jetted tub you turned the faucet on to start filling the tub up, sitting on the edge of it with your hands clasped together as your mind went over it all over and over again.

 After being released from the hospital you had tried to convince yourself it was a misunderstanding, as stupid as that was. You knew for a fact what he had done, and what he was still doing. You just didn’t have the strength or the money to let him go, for months you tried to ignore it and live with him as you did before. Though once you had uncovered the truth you only noticed very obvious signs of his infidelity, everything started to become clearer as time went on. You only felt pain and sorrow for a month, after that it was pure rage and hatred. You still wanted him, which made you even angrier, you wouldn’t refuse his touch and gave into him even when he smelt like the others. 

You’d cry to yourself while in the shower, silently so he wouldn’t hear. Though part of you wished he would, you wanted him to know your pain but the other part wanted him to see how devoted you were to him. For him to realize what he would lose, for him to come clean himself. He never did. You had mood swings more often then you’d like to admit, more times where you were tempted to jump off the balcony just to rid yourself of the images and sounds that were burned into your brain. Times where you’d shower him with so much love and affection in hopes he’d stay with you and stop seeing the others, he got annoyed with you. He told you that you were acting strange, you started stress eating. 

You gained weight, he had noticed your mood swings accompanied with the slight weight gain and the next time you had arrived home you were met with a note and a pregnancy test on your bed. “Tell me the results, we’ll sort out what to do if it’s positive” Nothing else, no “I love you” no nothing. 

You had taken it because it was bought and even though you knew it was going to be negative you did it anyways, it came back negative. Snapping a photo you sent it to him, “It’s negative” you had sent with it. The message had been read but no reply was ever given, in fact he never mentioned it ever again. 

Tapping your fingers against the porcelain you turned and switched the faucet off, stepping into the tub you let the burning hot water scald your skin. Pain was something you were use to, heat didn’t really have an effect on you anymore. 

Closing your eyes you tried to focus on what you felt remembering it all, something you did often to test how much you still cared about it all. You felt little to nothing, what you did feel was numbness and anger. Mostly numbness, your friends being the only happiness in your life now, he had snuffed out the light inside you when he had decided to cheat and lie. As time went on you had decided to push the truth from him, watching him panic and try to cover up his own mistakes was always humorous for you. Correcting the stories he’d fabricate, “The dentist? I thought you were golfing?” you’d ask even though he had actually said he was going to the gym. He’d laugh nervously and say “Oh right! Sorry it’s just been so busy today babe” before giving the top of your head a quick kiss and running to the bathroom. 

Or when you’d pick up his phone and ask who’s name that was on his notifications, he’d snatch the phone away so fast it almost made you impressed with his reflexes. He’d say it was a co worker, a cousin, a friend. You thought he knew you knew, though using your own wit you’d learned that he thought you were just very content and not at all suspicious of anything after awhile. 

He had thought you were completely sure he’d never leave or hurt you, something he had hoped he would make you feel. What sickened you the most was that he wanted you still, he wanted you to be his constant while the others were ever changing. He was so stupid, you had already sent a few boxes to Namjoon’s, he had offered to beat the shit out of Jackson when he had heard about what was going on. Though all you asked was a place to keep some things as you slowly faded from Jackson’s life, a man who could light up an entire room and pump everyone up. Who would’ve thought he could do this, you most certainly didn’t think it was possible. 

--

Scrubbing your face with a washcloth covered in hot water and face wash you got rid of the makeup from the day, the sounds of the bathroom door opening making you freeze. Rinsing your face quickly you reached over to the side of the tub and patted your face dry before looking to the door, him. “Oh hey, you’re home” you said in a monotone voice, before relaxing more into the water. Jackson smirked at you as his eyes raked over your body that was hidden beneath the water, “Mind if I join babe?” he asked already stripping his clothing off.

 “I actually want to de-stress if you don’t mind” mentally imagining yourself drowning him as you stared at his now naked form. You noticed the red marks and bruising on his chest and pelvic area, raising a brow you decided not to say anything. Normally Jackson only stripped in the dark or changed in the bathroom, you knew why but it was odd that he wasn’t trying to hid the love marks you hadn’t given him. 

Jackson made his way over to the tub anyways, “Don’t be like that babe, just let me help you relax” he said in a sultry tone. Shrugging you brought your knees to your chest, reaching to the corner of the tub you grabbed a bath bomb and dropped it in. You didn’t want to constantly stare at the marks given to him by other women, though you were happy to notice that your stomach didn’t churn at the sight. No anxiety was triggered by the sight, it meant you were finally moving on emotionally from him even quicker than you had thought. 

Jackson stared at the fizzing orb for a few seconds too long making you cough awkwardly, “Something wrong?”. Jackson shook his head before climbing into the colorful water, “Shit! Why is it so hot?!” he shouted as his foot flinched back from the waters. Frowning you looked at him confused, he knew you loved taking scorching hot baths so why was he confused now? “Jackson you know I like my water this hot, I always have”. You noticed his eyes scanning the water before swallowing thickly, as he lowered himself into the water you felt your lips turn upright into a smile at his discomfort. “Sorry babe, I must’ve forgot” he nervously laughed out, finally settling in the waters he went silent as he stared at your body. Stretching your legs out since there was plenty of room for that in the oversized jetted tub you reached over again to the corner and grabbed a bubble bar, placing it in the water and breaking it apart while sloshing the water about. 

Bubbles meant more privacy even if it meant too many chemicals in the water, Jackson’s form seemed to be entranced by the rapidly growing number of bubbles as you kept making more and more until the bar was gone. Glancing at Jackson you saw he was now staring at you, a smirk on his lips as he slowly made his way over to your side of the tub. Your body was still use to his advances, not tensing up as you would’ve liked. “What are you doing Jackson?” you asked un-amused as he wedged himself between your legs with his arms on either side of them. “I want to help you relax a little kitten” he chuckled darkly as he leaned closer to your face as if going in for a kiss, your suspicions confirmed when he closed his eyes and started puckering his lips. 

You kept leaning your head back trying to move away from his advances, you were sure at least four chins had appeared on you while trying to lean farther and farther away from him. Finally you just turned your head, his lips collided with your cheek. You could feel him pull back, obviously surprised by your rejection “Awe come on, stop playing hard to get. Be good for me kitten”. 

Your brows furrowed as you finally registered the unfamiliar term he used with you, he never called you anything other than babe or “_____”. Turning to look him in the face you studied his eyes, pupils dilated much larger than normal. Groaning you placed a hand on your head, “I’m sorry Jackson, my head just hurts so much” you whined dramatically. He must’ve been on something, he normally didn’t act like this. At least not anymore, you watched as he moved away from you a bit with an irritated look on his face. “I’m sorry...I know you must’ve wanted some steamy bathtub sex but my head is just killing me” you whined out in a small voice, Jackson sighed before smiling weakly. “It’s fine, let's get you to bed yeah?” he stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around his waist before turning to you and extending a hand, reluctantly you took it and stepped out. 

You could see the hunger in his eyes as he watched the suds run down your curves that had been hidden in the water, an animalistic growl leaving his body as he pulled you into him. His hands ran up and down your sides before gripping your plump ass, “Damn kitten why were you hiding all this from me?” he practically moaned out as he pressed himself against your wet form. Placing both of your hands on his chest you pushed away, “My headache Jackson, I really can’t do this right now” you whimpered out. Looking up at him you pouted, it was all for show but he didn’t know that. Jackson sighed in annoyance and quickly released your body, turning to leave the bathroom without so much as a word to you. You were mad but pleased that he had left you alone, though when he was leaving the room you did notice the scratch marks on his back that once again- you did not leave. Clicking your tongue you wrapped a towel around your body and walked out of the bathroom heading for your room, you had been staying in the guest room for awhile. 

Telling Jackson it was because of the different sleep schedules you both had, he seemed to buy it. Walking past your once shared bedroom you saw Jackson sitting on the edge of the bed watching something on the TV, once you reached your room you stepped inside and dropped the towel to find some comfy clothes. “____? Where are you?” Jackson’s voice rang out, wasn’t it obvious? You had gone to your room, he was acting so strange, even for him. “Getting clothes” you replied flatly and with little to no volume, you didn’t really care if he heard or not. 

Sounds of footsteps sounded before you could tell he was at your doorway, “What? I’m just getting clothes”. 

“Why in this room though? Why aren’t you in our room?” he asked, making you freeze and turn to look at him with a bewildered look on your face. “This is my room Jackson, my clothes are in here because this is where they’re kept”, apparently he wasn’t aware of that because his eyes widened with shock before he walked away into the living area.

 You could hear him padding around the apartment, “Why are you staying apart from me? Did I do something?”. His form was once again at your door, though this time you were clothed and even more confused by his behavior, “Our sleep schedules are so different now, it’s hard for me to sleep. I told you this months ago Jackson”. A sense of panic seemed to fill him momentarily before he nodded, “Oh..Oh! Right sorry I just, I meant I was confused why you were still doing that. Doesn’t it make you sad to sleep away from me?”. Sighing you smiled at him, a fake smile of course, “Jackson I know but I really need sleep since I work so often. It’s hard with you coming home at unholy hours of the night”. You could’ve sworn you saw a twitch in his smile as you said that, “I just miss you is all” he said before scratching the back of his head. Sitting on the edge of your bed you watched as he took a step past your doorway before hissing loudly and retreating backwards, “You okay? What happened?” you asked honestly surprised at his reaction. 

Getting up you looked around the room to see if he had stepped on something, you were hoping it was a rusty nail or possibly glass that was coated in something that could give him an infection. “That’s odd” you mumbled, noticing nothing on the floor. Jackson was breathing erratically before he laughed and gripped his foot, “Sorry I stubbed my toe somehow” he said through gritted teeth. “There’s nothing to stub it on though?” you said before crouching down to look at his foot that he was gripping, “Ah don’t look it’s fine I just stubbed it a little”. 

Shrugging you walked out of your bed room and went to the kitchen to make something to eat, as you moved around the kitchen you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Turning around you saw Jackson sitting on the stool at the island watching you, he was wearing pajamas now thankfully. He rarely wore a shirt though so it did seem odd he was wearing one now, ignoring him you made yourself some eggs and hopped up on the counter to eat them. 

Jackson continued to watch you which made you nervous and angry, “What?” you asked with a mouthful of egg. Jackson just stared at you without saying anything, shooting him a dirty look you kept eating. Shoving the last spoonful of egg into your mouth you jumped down from the counter and walked to the sink to place the dishes in it, a gasp leaving your mouth making you scramble to swallow the rest of your eggs down before they fell out of your mouth. Jackson’s hands gripped your hips as he pinned you against the sink, grinding into you as his mouth moved against your neck. “J-Jackson, I don’t want to I still have a headache” you stammered out, his body tensed up momentarily before releasing you.

 “I just want to feel you kitten, I want to see you squirming beneath me begging me to fuck your sweet little cunt” he said in a deep gravelly voice that sent a shock wave through your body. You didn’t want him, didn’t want to touch him and didn’t want him to touch you. Spinning around your breathing hitched as you saw his blown out pupils, it was almost like his eyes were completely black. “Not tonight” you stated firmly. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath before exhaling and opening them again, his eyes seemed normal now, not as creepy. “Sorry, it can wait until you’re feeling better. Goodnight _____”, a quick kiss to your forehead and he left you in the kitchen with your thoughts as he went back into his room. The sound of the door shutting allowed you to release a breath you didn't notice you were holding, grinding your teeth you felt embarrassed at how his words had shook you. Jackson never was one for dirty talk, never wanted to try anything other than typical things, or at least that’s how he was with you. 

Maybe he finally ran out of people to fuck, maybe he finally got tired of sneaking around. Or maybe he was just horny and high, you didn’t know which but you knew you weren’t going to fall for any of his advances. You swore it on your soul. _____

The next few days seemed to only get weirder and weirder, which is why you were now staying at Namjoons for the night. Jackson’s behavior seemed to get stranger, it had been two days since his first odd act. The next morning after he had tried to initiate sex with you, you had found that he was still in bed despite having to work on Saturdays. Not really caring you didn’t wake him up as you headed out for one of your jobs, you weren’t going to be home for hours and by the time you’d get home you figured he would be out partying it up.

 You were wrong, he was at home, sitting in the living room staring at the TV that was off. You ignored the behavior because you just couldn’t find it in yourself to care about his well being, you almost laughed to yourself as you thought about how cold and evil you might seem to others if they knew you were ignoring his signs of distress. 

You didn’t care though, one thing you had carried with you in life was that you didn’t forgive people. Something that people thought was a natural thing to do for one another, sure you’d let things go or act like it was fine but that didn’t mean you would forget or forgive the actions or words. No, in fact you would mark it against your impression of them. You did not actively seek revenge and did not intend to act like a complete bitch to some people for their mistakes, but you would never trust them like you had before. Jackson had hurt you to the point you didn’t care, you had imagined killing him so many times just to ease your anger. 

You had imagined him dying in some accident and wondered if you’d really care, you knew some part of you would. You could never kill another person unless you had to, you imagined violent things just to release some of the pent up anger even though you knew it was unhealthy.

 As you moved about the apartment getting ready for bed you noticed he’d started acting even stranger, sounds like him having a conversation would wake you up at night. Always around 2-3 am unless you were already awake, if you were already up you’d hear small noises or taps that would make you wonder what he was doing. You ignored it, it wasn’t your business and you didn’t want to care. 

Though the second day made you uneasy, he was being overly clingy to you. It looked like he hadn’t showered since the first day, he stunk and he looked like he hadn’t been eating either. He was trying to initiate something, anything but you said you had to work, which was true. Later that night you had come home to find the chairs stacked in a way that seemed impossible, all the cabinets were opened and the items inside them arranged oddly. Whatever Jackson was on must’ve been strong, and it scared you. 

You faced many things in your life and one thing that always frightened you more than anything was a man. Humans were capable of so much, men and children are what frightened you the most. Children because well, you’ve watched plenty of horror movies and know that it’s either the dad or the child who’s the killer. 

You didn’t take any chances, children were not to be trusted, men even less. You had been hurt so many times by them that the notion that a man could be genuine to you in a romantic sense just left a sour taste in your mouth. 

You had searched the apartment for Jackson only to hear scratching noises coming from a closet in his room, you knew right away that you were absolutely not going to open that door and deal with his weird high state. Instead you knocked on the door to the closet and thanked him for rearranging the kitchen, snickering to yourself you thought it was funny to say so. Though as you made your way to your room the click of the closet door opening did in fact frighten you, power walking into your room and swiftly locking the door behind you. All night you were woken up by groans and scratching noises, the sounds of him pacing in the hallway made you feel uneasy. You could see his shadow standing outside your door at one point, you ignored it and went back to sleep before waking up in a cold sweat and seeing his shadow still outside the door. Oddly enough you never heard the door knob jiggle, he didn’t say anything and you didn’t either. 

The following morning, which was this present day, you had gotten ready for work in record time. Noticing the kitchen back to how it should be and no signs of Jackson being strange, in fact you saw him sipping some coffee in the kitchen looking like he had just gotten out of the shower. You hated how 2% of you felt relieved to see him back to normal, you just didn’t want to feel like he was a major threat to you. He had seen you come out into the kitchen dressed for one of your jobs, the only one he actually knew about, and he had embraced you warmly before kissing your forehead and wishing you a great day at work.

 --

How you ended up at Namjoon’s was because when you came home from that job you found Jackson pacing in the living room muttering to himself as his hand tugged at his hair, walking passed him you got your things for your second job and left quickly. He hadn’t seemed to notice you at all, though you knew it would be another night of odd behavior. Knowing this you had packed extra clothes and some things inside your work bag, after finishing up a few high paying jobs you just showed up at Namjoon’s. Luckily he was home, you had just walked right in after entering the pin code to get in when he walked out of the bathroom butt ass naked and screamed at the sight of you.

 “I already told you I’m sorry Joon!” you whined as he tugged at your shared blanket even more, trying to sacrifice you to the cold temperature of his apartment. “You saw me naked! You saw my dick!” he grumbled out followed by a powerful tug of the blanket. You two were curled up on the couch watching old horror movies about demons, you thought they were funny.

 Tugging right back you pouted while watching the movie, “It’s not like I haven’t seen it before” you mumbled which made his head snap in your direction. You knew he had turned to look at you in shock, a wicked smirk on your lips at you refused to meet his glare. “When?!” he shouted in a cracked voice, you burst out laughing at his reaction and turned to him with a brow raised. “Joon, I’ve known you for how long? You’ve seen me naked too, walking in on each other in various situations and a few times we played truth or dare with the gang?”.

It took Namjoon a few moments before his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something but never did, only o’ed in realization. Shifting back to the movie a silence fell, Namjoon could tell something was up but he didn’t know how to ask. You had a thing about staying at people’s places, not liking waking up in an unfamiliar bed. He knew you’d tell him when the time was right though, he wanted to give you space and opportunity to tell him on your own.

 The night went on with small talk and you avoided talking about him, you didn’t want to think of him and you didn’t want to let Namjoon know about the recent weird behavior. He would just rush over and try to fight Jackson which wasn’t a good idea, especially not with the way Jackson had been behaving lately. He was unpredictable and honestly you weren’t sure you could stay another night in the same apartment, though as you were half way through another movie you started to notice some similarities between Jackson and the man in it. Sitting forward you paid close attention to the actions of the man who was possessed in the movie, Namjoon noticed your sudden interest and rubbed your back soothingly. “You okay?” he asked in a quiet voice, nodding you started to piece things together as the man started eating bugs and growling at his wife.

 “Oh shit” you gasped out, recalling the events from the last few days. How did you not notice? How could you not tell? It was so obvious, “What’s wrong ____?” Namjoon asked as he sat up too. “Un fucking believable” you snorted out, running your hands through your hair. “It all makes sense now” you groaned, settling back into the couch and turning to look at Namjoon. “He’s possessed Joonie” you said in a whiney tone, Namjoon frowned and knocked his leg into yours. He hated your whiney voice, “Who’s possessed?”.

 Rolling your eyes you threw your hands into the air and groaned in frustration, “Who do you think?”. Namjoon’s expression was comical, you didn’t know he could make that kind of face. “No fucking way, you’re serious?” he gasped out, nodding you were pretty confident Jackson was possessed. It made sense, he was acting so strange and his pupils were way too dilated to be normal. “Pretty damn sure, I’ve got to go Joon. I’ve got to confirm it” sitting up you grabbed your belongings that you needed right away, “I’ll leave my clothing and stuff here in case I need to crash here still. That okay with you?”.

 “Yeah but will you be okay? Want me to come with?” Namjoon asked, his voice laced with concern. Turning to look at him you gave him a knowing look, “We both know you hate being with me when I do spooky shit, I’ll be fine. It’s not like it would be the first possessed person I’ve come across”. Standing up Namjoon made his way over to you and engulfed you in a hug, “I know I’m a fucking baby when it comes to that stuff, just be careful okay?”.

 Laughing you hugged him back, “I’ll text you when I’ve figured it out okay?”. Namjoon nodded and released you from him embrace, watching as you dawned your black trench coat and picked up your work bag. You turned to smile at him before you left, taking a taxi to your apartment to sort this whole demon business out.

--

 If it wasn’t a demon then it was going to be hard to explain why you thought that, you thought about the many ways this scenario could play out. Though as you paid the driver and approached the apartment you could tell something was off about the building, now noticing it there was a fog almost surrounding the building. Looking around you could see that no one was seeing it, “great” you muttered to yourself as you braced yourself for the eventual meeting of the demon using Jackson’s body as it’s home.

 Walking into the apartment you acted as if nothing was wrong, Jackson was standing in a corner of the living room in complete darkness. Nothing out of the ordinary, well there was but you ignored it and went to your room.

 Changing into something more, “If I need to run I can but I also look like I’m comfy” chic. Leaving your door open you thought back to the day when he couldn’t enter your room, realizing now it was because you had blessed your room. Only your room, though you were annoyed at the demon being creepy you couldn’t help but find it funny that Jackson had gotten possessed. He was a chicken, afraid of everything but refused to believe in ghosts and demons.

Oh how funny.

 Sitting on the edge of your bed facing your open door you waited, sure enough Jackson’s form suddenly appeared at your doorway. He looked normal, not at all like he had just been standing in a corner like a creep. Crossing your legs you stared at him, he smiled at you and looked hesitant to try and enter again.

 “What are you doing out there Jackson? Come in” you cooed, grinning from ear to ear. You weren’t afraid of demons, you just wanted to see what demon was using Jackson as a vessel before you played games with it. Jackson looked at the entirety of your doorway and then into your room at you, “What’s gotten into you babe? Lets watch a movie or something”. Raising a brow you sighed, “A movie?” you asked with a click of your tongue. The man nodded, whatever demon was using him must not be strong enough to break your barrier and if that’s the case then it means it’s not stronger than you.

 Perfect. 

Getting up you walked out of your room and into his, turning the TV on and sitting on the bed. Jackson came over and sat next to you, his arm curling around your frame. Switching through the movie section you finally found your favorite horror movie about demons and clicked play, a dark chuckle sounded next to your ear making your hair stand on end.

 “Nice movie choice babe I love this one” he laid back and motioned for you to lay back as well, you had chosen the room since it was smaller and had less places for him to hide and scare you. Leaning over him you smiled, “Oh? But Jackson, you hate scary movies”. You watched as his eyes flashed red before settling on his normal eye color though his pupils were still somewhat dilated, “I got over that babe, I wanted to watch what you watch”. His hand rubbed up and down your back as you looked down at him, he was trying to ignore your stare and watch the movie but you were making it hard. Leaning down a bit you placed a hand on his stomach and rubbed up his chest to his neck, rubbing back down to his pecks. You could see him tense up, giggling you straddled him and held his hands down next to his head.

 Leaning down you blew into his ear before whispering, “Who are you?”.

 His entire body froze, leaning up to look down you saw his expression- a confused one. Maybe you were wrong, maybe he was just on some hard drugs. An unfamiliar voice left his lips as he laughed, “I don’t know what you mean kitten? Who do you think I am?”. Tightening your grip on his hands you began whispering an immobile incantation to render his physical body, well, immobile. 

That is what shook him, eyes turning completely black as he thrashed beneath you before finally throwing you off before you could complete the spell. His form distorted into that of something you’d see in the movies, bending backwards and snapping his limbs inhumanely before letting out a screech that seemed to have multiple voices behind it. Standing up you raised a brow at the sight, maybe when you were younger it would have scared you but you’d seen the exact same thing so many times before it just bored you now. “Really?” you asked as the lights flickered, the dark, another thing that didn’t scare you as it should have.

 A mans voice laughed out as the lights went out, “Come play with me kitten” the voice said before twisting into some awful generic demonic growl that shook the room. Walking to the door you weren’t surprised when it slammed shut, you reached for it anyways and groaned when you felt something warm and slimy on the handle. Taking your shirt off you used it to open the door since it was too slippery with just your hand, the hallway was also dark. You knew something was on the ceiling waiting for you to stop and look up so you did what you maybe shouldn’t have done, you kept walking before yelling at the thing on the ceiling which actually surprised it.

 It froze before letting out a screech and then scurrying into the bedroom, sighing you walked to the kitchen sink and turned the faucet on washing your hands of the blood that was on the handle. Not surprisingly, the water started to run brown and then black but you had already finished washing your hands so you turned it off and turned around to wait for what was next. “You can come out, I’m not afraid of you” you yelled in a bored voice. 

The sounds of something clawing its way into the kitchen made you roll your eyes, rounding the island in the middle of the kitchen a deformed grotesque humanoid creature came wailing towards you. Raising a hand to it you began reciting a spell of repellence to ward it off, you could expel it entirely but you wanted to know which demon it was. The creature began to smoke and squeal in pain before retreating, from somewhere in the living room which was open to the kitchen you heard a deep voice curse, “why aren’t you scared” it asked.

 It almost sounded like it was upset or pouting, adorable you thought to yourself. Also annoying, “I don’t know, why is anyone scared of anything?” you answered back. Silence filled the apartment before Jackson’s form emerged from the shadows, black eyes and all. Jackson was smiling as he approached you, you noticed the teeth were now all pointed like sharks teeth. “Kitten are you sure you’re not afraid?” he said in two voices, your mouth formed a line as you watched as he unhinged his jaw and opened his mouth wide letting out demonic moans and screeches. 

His gaping mouth was only inches from your face as you burped into his mouth making him recoil instantly and cough violently. “Gross what the fuck” the deeper voice that didn’t belong to Jackson yelled out, glaring at you. You looked at him and raised your hands up, “Obviously I should be asking you what the fuck” you said in an irritated voice. “I want his soul and now yours too, obviously” the voice mimicked your voice as he said that, pulling up a stool and watching you carefully. “Well scaring me won’t work, I could exercise you right now if I wanted to” you sat across from him at the island. 

Jackson’s brow raised, “Oh really? You sure about that?” nodding you sat at the island with your face in both hands as you yawned. A wide grin met his lips as he licked them, “Not even if I tell you fucked up things?”. Letting out a huff you sat up straight, “Try me”. The demonic voice chuckled, “Very well, ask me questions and I will answer them honestly”.

 “Whoa whoa, I have to ask questions? Boring, I really don’t want to, besides I know you won’t actually answer with honesty”.

 “Oh but I will, let’s make it a game yeah?” he asked with a sparkle in his blackened eyes.

 “Fine, why did you possess Jackson?” you asked, actually curious as to how the bastard got a demon in him.

 “He was in the wrong part of town and looked like fun, so I observed him for a bit and saw him return to you. Your soul is what sealed the deal for me kitten, now here we are” he motioned to the apartment as if that was supposed to scare you.

 “Okay fair enough” you nodded your head acknowledging the information. Jackson frowned and coughed clearing his throat, “My turn, how do you know I’m not Jackson?”.

 Smirking you answered him, “My second job involves me exercising spirits and demons, being a medium, a psychic, anything along those lines. Of course I’m going to notice you aren’t him”.

 Not waiting for his response you jumped into the next question, “Why didn’t you just take my soul? Why didn’t you just possess me?”. 

Jackson scratched his chin and looked like he was seriously thinking about how to answer that question, “Well, to put it bluntly, I wanted to fuck you first. You’re hot and I also like your soul. It would’ve been a win win”. He smiled widely like he had just given the smartest answer ever, “okay gross” you said with exaggerated gagging noises. Jackson glared at your exaggeration, sure being a demon might put some people off but that was no reason to be so rude. He had complimented you and you had the nerve to call him gross? Anger filled him as his ego took a blow, but a thought came to his mind that had him grinning from ear to ear.

 “Do you know he’s cheating on you?” he spat out, thinking he had something that would surprise you.

 “Yeah, has been for what seems like forever. Why? One of his side girls hit you up while possessing him?” you asked with no real interest in the answer.

 You watched as Jackson’s face become one of disgust and confusion, “Okay one, that counts as your question- yes multiple girls messaged him to which I didn’t respond and two, why are you with him if he’s cheating on you?”.

 Sighing loudly you got up and reached down to open the wine cooler in the island, placing a bottle on the island before turning and getting two glasses. Looking over your shoulder you asked him “Want some or no?”, Jackson seemed taken off guard but nodded after looking over the bottle of wine you had set out. 

You came back with two large wine glasses in hand, “Mind opening the wine? I honestly can never open them without fucking it up”. Jackson moved a finger and a loud ‘POP’ noise followed, turning you noticed the wine bottle was now open and ready for drinking.

 Pouring a generous amount in both glasses you set the bottle back down, taking a large swig of the dark red liquid before turning back to him.

 “ I’m still here because apartments in the city are expensive, I have enough money right now but I need to save up more to be comfortable. He doesn’t know I know, at least I don’t think he does” you mumbled into your glass before drinking some more. 

Jackson sniffed the wine before sipping on it, cringing at the bitterness, “Uhm, no he isn’t aware. In fact he thinks things have never been better between you two”. You didn’t even try to hide the laugh that followed, “Of course that idiot thinks that, how bland”. “Why haven’t you asked him why he’s cheating” he asked, taking another sip of the drink now growing accustomed to the taste. You shrugged, “A lot of reasons, all of which don’t matter. I don’t love him and I don’t want him, I want to leave as soon as I’m able to”.

 “Why are you asking me questions about the relationship that once was and not about things that are actually interesting?” you asked with a smirk, bringing you glass to your lips again. Jackson chuckled, “Alright, how likely is it that I will get your soul?”. “Unlikely, you could drag Jackson to hell for all I care. You’ll never get my soul”.Jackson hummed at that, “How likely would it be-” you cut him off by raising your hand, “It’s my turn remember?” Jackson nodded and let you continue. “What’s your name? Your real name” you asked setting your glass down and leaning forward on the island, you could feel the cold marble counter top through your bra. Jackson stared at your cleavage before looking back up into your eyes, he could lie. He had made no pact or deal with you that would bid him to tell the truth, so he wasn’t sure why he wanted to tell you his name regardless. “It’s Yoongi”.

 ____

“Yoongi?” you repeated back to him, hand grasping your glass that was a little to empty for your liking. Gripping the bottle you poured yourself some more before setting it back down, Jackson nodded and took another drink of his wine. “Yes, that is my name. I don’t know why I told you it though, it’s not like I’m going to leave this body any time soon”.

 “Ah, that’s fine. I’d rather have you here than him anyways, oh and as for the reason you were so truthful? This wine has a truth elixir infused in it, a bitter taste but it’s useful”. 

Yoongi wanted to be angry, but he found himself laughing instead. “Clever, you’re a lot more intelligent than most humans”. Nodding you downed more of the drink, “So, Yoongi, how long will you stay in him? From what I understand the longer a demon resides in the host body the more difficult it is to leave”. Yoongi bit his lower lip smiling, he loved how you knew so much about his kind even if it was to extinguish them. He found the trait absolutely attractive, to have the ability to destroy another be it human or otherwise, he loved it. “I plan to stay for as long as I wish, and yes, I would say maybe a week at most and 3 days at least”. Humming you nodded, “How about we make a deal?” you asked with actual emotion. Yoongi noticed immediately how your demeanor changed, you had something up your sleeve and he was both afraid and excited to find out what. “What’s the deal?”.

 “How about you help me ruin Jackson’s standing with other women? If you do I won’t banish you into some jar or something” you held out your hand in hopes he’d accept the offer. You knew it would be unlikely though, no demon liked to be challenged. Yoongi scoffed at that, “Wow, I really thought you’d say something interesting but you just sound arrogant”. Repealing your hand you downed the wine in your glass and set it on the table empty, “Alright, stay. I don’t care but I am heading to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow Yoongi”. You didn’t wait for his response and just waved to him before walking to your room, though arms wrapped around your waist stopping you just in front of your doorway. Yoongi pressed soft kisses to your neck, licking and nipping at the skin gently as his hands rubbed up and down your sides. 

For some reason instead of disgust you felt more intrigued than anything, he wasn’t Jackson after all. His voice was sexy and deep, and he seemed kind of fun. You ground your ass back against his crotch, hearing Yoongi let out a gasp that was quickly followed by a deep chuckle. His hands went down to your hips and pulled you closer to his hard on, grinding against you as he licked up your neck with one hand trailing up your chest and cupping one of your breast. You let out a small moan and placed your hands over his, running your hands up and down his arms lightly. Yoongi moved one of his hands up your side and then down into your leggings and into your underwear, hissing when he finds that you’re already somewhat wet. “Ah fuck, kitten you’re so wet for me already” his deep voice made your body swell with excitement, it had been so long since someone had touched you properly.

 Spreading your legs to allow him more access you felt your head being turned to face him, though you felt yourself tense up remembering that Yoongi was inside Jackson’s body. Pushing him away you walked into your room and slammed the door, locking it quickly. “What the hell! We were just getting started Kitten!” Yoongi growled out, looking at the wetness you’d left on his fingers that had just barely touched you. Licking his fingers he felt himself let out a groan at how good you tasted, “Why’d you stop?” he asked through the door. Stripping yourself of your clothes and switching into one of Namjoon’s shirts you had swiped from his place you laid in your bed with a racing heart, “You may not be him but you’re in his body, I don’t want him. Also I forgot you’re after my soul, I’m not fucking someone who wants my soul” you shouted back before settling into your covers and turning over to face the other side of your room. Yoongi sighed, he shouldn’t have said anything about your soul in the first place. He had been a very high ranking demon for centuries yet he felt like some 300 year old demon all over again fighting with you, “I could always leave his body kitten, I’m sure you’d be more than satisfied with my actual self. For one I'm taller than him and my dick is bigger”. Ignoring him you closed your eyes, hoping to get some sleep. You did hate jackson, but you also knew you couldn’t let a demon stay inside him.

 You’d have to expel Yoongi at some point but part of you actually liked the demon, not all demons were bad and you had encountered that first hand. He was just making it difficult by claiming to want your soul, a typical demon thing to say but most demons just wanted to torment and drive people to madness. Not steal their souls unless they were the kind that fed off of them, shit, you had forgotten to find out what kind of demon he even was. Sighing you thrashed around in your blankets before laying still, you would just have to figure it all out before he fused with Jackson’s body. Smiling to yourself for having thought of a plan you let your body relax, letting sleep take you. 

Yoongi sat outside your room until he could tell you were asleep, it was hard to tell with the barrier you had up in your room but the snoring gave you away. Getting up he walked into Jackson’s room and laid down, he knew he didn’t need to sleep. Jackson’s body needed sleep though, he wasn’t sure what his next plan would be but at least for tonight he’d let you rest. Though his thoughts kept going over earlier in the night, how you’d not been scared by things that normally would scare most people. You had even tried to scare him, which embarrassingly enough did surprise him. He wasn’t scared, but he was surprised.

 The way you held yourself, the way you were cocky and arrogant at times made him want to fuck the smirk of your face. Your body, fuck he couldn’t stop thinking about how you felt against him, the way you tasted was intoxicating. He could feel your energy and it filled his entire being which was weird since he wasn’t an energy demon, just being near you made him both weak and powerful. He knew he couldn’t stay in this humans pathetic body but he couldn’t leave without making sure you left Jackson first, he may not actually care about human relationships but he didn’t want another man being near you. In Yoongi’s mind you were his, and even if you didn’t know it or acknowledge it yet he would make sure you did. 

At some point.

 _____

Rolling out of bed you were woken by the smell of food, something that was rare and enticing to say the least. Opening the door you padded into the kitchen to peak at what was going on, Jackson- or well Yoongi, was at the stove cooking what seemed like breakfast. Walking up behind him you stood at his side and looked at what he was making, “Uhg, really yoongi?” you scoffed and hit his arm as you looked at the “meal” he was making.

 It smelt like eggs, pancakes, and bacon but what it looked like was bloodied organs and what you think was a fetus and an eye ball. Yoongi laughed to himself as he continued cooking, you walked away from him to get a drink of water from the fridge. Though upon opening it you almost shrieked when it was also bathed in blood and filled with dismembered body parts that just so happened to also twitch and groan, slamming it shut you started saying a spell to change back what once was to what it should be. Opening the fridge again to see it back to normal, smiling you grabbed a water bottle and closed the door. Yoongi glared at you and served up the breakfast on two plates, the food actually being food this time. Looking at him suspiciously you took the table salt and poured a circle around your plate, casting a spell to reveal any and all malicious intent. You were happy to see nothing glowed which meant it was safe to eat, taking a forkful of pancake and egg you looked up at Yoongi who was giving you a look. “What?” you asked with a full mouth, Yoongi cringed and shot you a disgusted look.

 “Fucking chew and swallow before you talk”, he started eating his food a lot more gracefully then you had been eating yours. Gulping down your water you swallowed the mass of food and gasped for some air, feeling revived and ready for another day working two jobs. “Well, thanks Yoongi but I’ve got to head to work so don’t wait up for me” you gave him the finger guns as you walked into the bathroom and started the shower.

Part of you expected him to sneak in while you were showering but he didn’t, you finished your shower and had even gotten ready for work without issue. As you were leaving the apartment you noticed him sitting on the couch watching the news, laughing at reports of some deaths that made you shake your head in disapproval.

---

Work went fine, Namjoon had blown up your phone and you had reassured him everything was fine. Heading back home you quickly entered the apartment and threw off your work uniform, rushing to get dressed for your night out helping people quench their supernatural thirst. The lights weren’t working though, making you groan. “Yoongi please! I have another job to get to, I can’t be late this client pays well I really need this!”.

The lights actually flickered back on, earning a sigh from you and you pulled on a simple black dress and filled your bag with a few extra items you thought you’d need. Turning around you saw Yoongi staring at you from the doorway, “Oh Yoongi I’m not sure when I’ll be back, okay bye!” you waved to him as you ran out the front door with your shoes barely on.

Yoongi wallowed around the apartment bored, he glanced at the cellphone owned by Jackson and thought about hitting up one of the many girls who had been non stop messaging or calling him. Part of him was honestly confused why anyone would cheat on you, maybe the appeal of inflicting pain on you? You knew though, but he could tell Jackson did not know you knew, so that wasn’t it. The other part of him didn’t really care that much, he didn’t like Jackson because he was close to you but that didn’t mean he cared that Jackson was hurting you. Right? Humans were always so confusing, though as he’s aged he’s noticed that demons are similar to humans despite being entities that were never human.

Groaning he slumped in the couch, Jackson’s soul was trying to fight back Yoongi but there was no way he’d actually repel him on his own. He wondered how you’d even gotten into his world, how you knew about his kind and how to stop them. Spiritual power and magic didn’t come easy to people, especially not the kind that you wielded. Your magic was strong, he was certain if given the right opportunity you could actually get him to leave Jackson’s body.

Looking at the time on the phone he groaned again, when would you be home?

___

You entered the apartment with a bounce in your step, it was rare that this client had to cut their appointments short. It wasn’t even 10 pm yet, you were so happy you thought about ordering out. The client had paid in full and tipped you handsomely, you were pretty much ready to move into a new place with the amount you had saved up. Humming to yourself you threw your shoes off not caring where they fell since it wasn’t like Jackson was around, placing your bag down next to the couch you started taking your dress off.

You had the dress partially off, the material up over your waist when a whistle cut through the air. “Damn kitten, didn’t think you’d be into strip teasing” Yoongi called out from somewhere in the living room. Taking the dress off completely you smirked and threw the material elsewhere, ignoring his cat call you pranced around in your bra and panty set for a little bit before you got cold and went back into your room. Trying to be sexy was harder than you remember it being, throwing off your bra you slid Namjoon’s shirt over your head. Luckily the shirt was long enough it covered your ass well, throwing your hair up into a messy bun you walked into the living room.

Yoongi was now on the couch, sprawled out with ‘the conjuring’ playing. Of course a demon would enjoy watching that, grabbing your phone from your work bag you started dialing a number. The noise from the movie distracting you, “Yoongi turn that down” you hissed as the other line picked up.

“I’d like to place an order for delivery please”

After you said that the movie got louder making you stomp over to him and slap his knee earning a glare from him, you pointed your finger at him and motioned that you’d kill him if he kept being loud.

“Yes, the address? Oh its…”

The sounds of groaning and demonic growling sounded behind you as the delivery man read back your address to you to confirm it, “Uh- ma’am what’s that noise?” he asked clearly having heard the movie or Yoongi.

Walking farther away from Yoongi you laughed, “Ah nothing just watching a scary movie ha ha”.

“I would like an order of breadsticks, with garlic and marinara sauce please and…” you trailed off wondering what kind of pizza Yoongi would like or if he wanted chicken.

“Hang on just a moment please” you said into the phone, covering the speaker part up with your hand as you called out to Yoongi, “What kind of pizza do you want?” you shouted. No answer, grumbling you stomped into the living room and saw him twisted up to look like the women from the movie.

“Yoongi what do you want on the pizza?” you asked again losing patience.

Yoongi’s body twisted even more as blood spilled from his mouth, soaking into the couch beneath him “I want… YOUR SOUL” he shrieked out in an inhuman voice.

Rolling your eyes you gave him one last chance, “What. Do. You. Want?”.

This time Yoongi’s mouth overflows with roaches, “BUGSS” he roars out despite having a mouth full of maggots and roaches.

Raising a brow at him you turn away and walk into the kitchen, “Yes I’m so sorry about the wait, can I just do a large cheese and pineapple pizza and an order of the 20 piece chicken set?”. You could hear a gasp and a whine come from the living room, “I wanted beef..” he grumbled out.

“Ah yes actually could I make that a beef pizza instead of pineapple? You can? Okay great thank you” you could hear a small chuckle from the living room and smiled.

“Sauces? Buffalo and Hot for the chicken and just extra marinara for the pizza please”.

After placing the order you hung up and went into the living room where you found a pristine looking couch and not a bug in sight, “So, you know you can’t stay in his body right?”.

Yoongi turned to look at you, “I’ll stay in here for as long as I want human, he should be grateful I’m even allowing myself inside this pathetic excuse of a man”. Laughing you plopped down next to him on the couch, “Well you’re right about the pathetic excuse of a man part”.

Yoongi looked at you then at the TV, he had switched to a different movie that for once didn’t have anything to do with horror or demons. “Have you ever exercised a demon like me before?” he asked in a quiet voice, without turning to look at him you nodded. “I think so, I don’t know what kind of demon you are so I can’t say for certain but I’ve dealt with strong demons before”.

Yoongi smiled to himself, you thought he was strong then. His ego inflated just a bit, “Oh, you’re pretty strong for a human you know. How did you get into all this?”. Giggling you decided to lean up against him, you could feel his body relax into your touch. “I just stumbled into it, it’s like a fandom, once you dip your toe in to see how it feels it sucks you in. Once you’re in you can’t escape”.

Yoongi let his- well Jackson’s arm drape over your shoulders, “Well you’re really-” he stopped mid sentence at a god awful smell emitting from you. Pulling away from you abruptly he pinched his nose, “What the fuck is that smell?!” he shouted, you looked at him with wide eyes. You could feel your face turning red from embarrassment, anger bubbled inside you at his very dramatic exclamation. “Me?! You fucking think I smell?! You don’t even shower every day Yoongi!”. Yoongi let go of his nose and growled at you, “I do not smell! Humans have such primitive noses, if you were advanced like me you’d be able to tell that my scent is robust and powerful. It’s entici-” you cut him off laughing, “You?! Enticing? Please, you smell like rotten milk and onions Yoongi. You forget you’re in Jackson’s body therefore you smell like him”.

Yoongi quickly pounced on you, pushing your body down against the couch as he held your hands down on either side. “I smell perfectly fine, it’s you who smells terrible!” Yoongi looked at your body and noticed the shirt, how he had missed it before was beyond him.

Letting go of your hands he sat back on his heels, “It’s that damned shirt, it fucking reeks”. You felt your face still burning at his comment, “Fuck you Yoongi you’re lucky I don’t banish you right here and now”. Rolling his eyes he gripped the shirt and ripped it clean in half, your eyes widened in horror as he ripped Namjoon’s shirt. A shirt he didn’t even know you had borrowed, “Yoongi!” you screamed out.

He knew it was in anger but he couldn’t help but think at how nice his name sounded coming from your lips, especially being screamed out. “This was my best friends shirt! He’s going to kill me!” you growled out, trying to cover your chest some more. He had ripped it clean in half down the front, he watched as your hand tried to hold the material over the swell of your chest. He always forgot humans were so ashamed of their natural states, leaning forward he ran a hand up your arm.

Your chest tightened at his touch, closing your eyes so you could envision someone else instead of Jackson touching you. Yoongi watched as you closed your eyes, “I want you to look at me ____”. Your eyes shot open at the use of your name, you had never heard him use it before-at least not before you realized he was possessed. Yoongi laughed at your response to the use of your name, “Sounds good for someone to say your name huh?” his tongue ran over his lower lip as he pulled your arm away from the shirt revealing the sliver of skin beneath it.

You could feel your stomach fluttering at his touch, you wanted so much to just close your eyes so that it would feel better but part of you didn’t want to disappoint him. “Yoongi I want to see you, not Jackson” you whispered out, you watched as Yoongi stared at you as if contemplating. Your vision was blocked for a moment, by his hand you could tell- “I already know for a fact I’m devilishly- ha- good looking, but if for some reason you don’t think I am...I don’t think I could let you and him live. My pride wouldn’t allow it, just so you’re aware”.

You frowned with his hand covering your eyes, “Whatever just let me see you” you laughed out. Slowly you felt his hand drop, blinking a few times to adjust your sight you saw a different man before you. He had white hair and striking eyes, he smiled at you showing you his gummy smile. Reaching up you cupped his face with your hands, “You’re pretty good looking, for a demon living inside Jackson’s crappy self”.

Yoongi laughed, holding your hand in his while you traced along his features curiously. Your heart was beating fast and you recognized the sensation quickly, though you tried to remain calm and collected. “I could leave his body and just come to you like this, if I did that would you let me have you?” he asked leaning in closing the distance between your both.

The sounds of someone ringing your doorbell startled you, making you jump up and head butt Yoongi. Instantly he lost concentration and his image went back to that of Jackson, gripping the torn shirt more you glared at him. “Fucking fix this now! I can’t answer the door like this!” you hissed, Yoongi groaned as he rubbed his head.

“God damnit women why is your head as hard as a rock?!” he whined, throwing your hands up in the air you wanted to scream in frustration. Grabbing your coat and zipping it up you grabbed your money from your bag and answered the door, you would’ve laughed at how confused the guy looked seeing you in a winter coat in your apartment with no pants on but you were too angry.

At least the coat covered your butt, giving him the money and enough for a tip you juggled the boxes of food. Carefully carrying them into the kitchen, once you had placed them on the island you opened everything to make sure it was all right.

“Oh finally, I’m starving” Yoongi said as he made his way into the kitchen, glancing at him you noticed he hadn’t returned to looking like himself. A small pang of disappointment hit your heart, “Yeah, eat up” you mumbled.

Yoongi didn’t seem to notice as he quickly dove right into the food

---

After eating Yoongi had finally fixed Namjoon’s shirt for you, though you felt weird being around him. You knew what he looked like, you knew his name and you knew you actually liked having him around. It was refreshing, Jackson had once been your beckon of light and happiness but that quickly turned to him being the reason why you wanted everything to end. Yoongi though, as a demon- a creature of hell- brought you some happiness. 

But what he was to you seemed to confuse you, he made you laugh and he actually listened to you- at least most of the time. You got a good feeling from him regardless of the fact that your holy artifacts would beg to disagree, you wanted to be around him and wanted him to touch you.

Though you thought maybe that was just your loneliness talking, you had been so love deprived and starving for intimacy from someone who hadn’t hurt you that maybe you’d just jump on the first person to show you interest? You didn’t want to be the one to hurt another, even if that person was a demon. You wanted your feelings to be genuine, the only way was to be away from Yoongi and around new people.

Turning to look at him you saw Jackson’s face looking back at you, “Yoongi do you like me?” you asked without any waver in your voice. Yoongi shifted his image to that of himself as he stared into your eyes, “I do”. He knew he liked your energy, he was drawn to you and that was enough for him. Though he wasn’t sure if it was the chase he liked or actually you, he admired your strong will and even more so your intellect. You could be crass and just down right gross at times but it was all part of your charm, or at least he thought so.

He watched as you shifted slightly, “I want you to leave Jackson’s body and allow me to ask you to come to me as you are when I’m ready then”. Yoongi’s brows furrowed, “What do you mean when you’re ready?”.

“I like you, I think I do at least. I want to see what it’s like to not be around you for awhile, to mingle with new people and see if what I’m feeling is just because no one has touched me like you have or talked to me the way you have in a very long time”.

Yoongi felt his chest tingle a bit, he didn’t like the way you had worded that. Crawling over to you he watched as you relaxed under him, his hands at your sides and gripping you firmly. Leaning down he watched your face for any signs of rejection or uncomfortableness but saw none, licking his lips he stared at yours. Your pink tongue peaking through your plush lips to wet them, taking the chance he closed the distance and pressed his lips against your own.

You kissed him back, an electric feeling pulsing through your body as your mouths moved against one another. His hands roamed your body almost frantically as his tongue poked at your mouth for entrance, opening your mouth your tongue moved against his as you both became a mess of limbs trying to get closer to one another.

Yoongi’s hands cupped your ass and brought your lower half down on his, lifting you into his lap. “You’re sure about this plan of yours?” he said through breaks in the kisses, sighing into his mouth you pulled away. “Yeah, I really want to have genuine feelings for you. I’m not sure what I feel is actually romantic but I do know you make me so fucking frustrated, you’re cocky and annoying and the way you talk to me makes me want to scream”.

Chuckling he slaps your ass lightly, “Good, I want you screaming, my name at least”. Rolling your eyes you placed your hands on his chest, “I’ve got enough money to get a new place, I’m moving regardless but when I do. If I ask for you to come, will you? Not in his body?”.

Yoongi paused for a moment, he knew he wanted you and he knew the last few days spent tormenting you had been more entertaining than the last few years he’d spent in this city. “I will, if you want me to that is”.

“Well yeah, obviously that’s why I just asked you if you would” you said sarcastically, Yoongi pinched your asscheek earning a squeak from you making him chuckle. “Smart ass, I was trying to flow with this romantic mood”.

“Yeah well you kind of ruined it by saying that Yoongi, when will you leave his body?” your hands rubbed up his neck on onto his face, you knew it was him and wasn’t at the same time. Yoongi leaned into your hand and smiled, “I’ll leave tomorrow morning, this guy probably lost his job by the way, I’m going to implant memories so that he doesn’t freak out but I also sent weird messages to his side girls so they’d leave him alone”.

Laughing you pinched his cheek, “I mean at least it wasn’t me who did that to him, I believe in karma and that right there is means for bad karma”. Yoongi shrugged, “They wouldn’t stop messaging me, well him, either way I was bored while you were at work so I had to entertain myself”.

Leaning down you pressed your lips to his gently, he kissed back and wrapped his arms around your waist. “You’re driving me crazy ____, you don’t know how much I’m going to hate having to be away from you” he groaned into your mouth, your hands found themselves at his shoulders at you deepened the kiss to shut him up.

Knowing once you pulled away you two would go your separate ways, only to hope to meet again at a later date.

____

1 month later

Looking around at all the boxes you sighed, you had moved in three weeks ago and still barely touched the boxes. The move and break up had taken a lot out of you, once you and Yoongi parted ways that night Jackson finally emerged the next morning confused and disoriented. He had indeed lost his job, though it didn’t matter much since his friend hired him at his company. You had found a place two days after the real Jackson’s return and in that same week had all but removed your belongings from the apartment. Jackson may have been confused from waking up a week later with his life somewhat ruined but he wasn’t that oblivious, he asked what was with the boxes and you shrugged.

What were you supposed to say? You tried to just say that things hadn’t been working out and that you had decided to move out, Jackson didn’t take that very well.

He was yelling at you and repeating his questions over and over again even after you had answered them, luckily you had texted Namjoon earlier that day to ask for help moving things and he had shown up during the argument. At first Jackson was furious that you had invited Namjoon and his friends over to help you move, he tried to force them out of the apartment to which they just laughed and continued moving your belongings.

He was furious, finally with most of your boxes out of the apartment Namjoon came up to get you so they could leave. Jackson had grown quieter and broke down in tears, blaming you for why the relationship had failed- you wanted to kick him in the face at the audacity this man had to actually blame you for it failing. You were about to break down crying out of frustration when Namjoon stood between you both, Jackson really didn’t like that- getting up into Namjoon’s face and asking him why he was still there.

When Namjoon pushed Jackson away you saw Jackson lash out with crazed eyes, screaming at the top of his lungs “You fucking slut! You fucking cheated on me didn’t you?! I fucking knew it! Fuck you and get out then!”. Tears slid down your cheeks as you watched the man you had once loved scream at you, his face red from anger and eyes blown out.

Clenching your fists you shoved Namjoon aside, grinding your teeth you did what anyone would have done in that situation- you pulled your fist back and punched him in the nose as hard as you could. Jackson fell back obviously stunned, his nose was bleeding and he looked like he was about to retaliate but you screamed at him before he could “Me?! You were the one cheating on me Jackson! I’m not fucking stupid! I’m leaving you because you ruined what we had! You fucking piece of shit you actually had the nerve to blame me?! Go to fucking hell!”.

Grabbing the last of your things you stormed out of the apartment with Namjoon trailing behind you quickly, he may have always offered to beat Jackson up for you but you knew he was a pacifist. You could hear shouting but you ignored it, he wasn’t your problem anymore.

The first few days after leaving Jackson you were at your worse, sure you didn’t care for him as you once had but you felt like a bad person for leaving him. He deserved it all and even more but you still couldn’t help but feel bad, the way he looked into your eyes when he realized you were leaving- you could see the pain in them, the shock.

Even though it was his own fault you still remembered what it felt like to feel that same pain, it was terrible. You knew it would eventually get better though, eventually you’d numb up to it and move on- you had Yoongi now after all. A demon who had possessed your cheating ex boyfriend and seduced you more or less, you still didn’t know what to think of him though. You wanted him, that much was true, but you weren’t sure to what degree.

Though your heart clenched at the thought that you’d also be without Yoongi in your new place- you held off on calling him over, weeks went by and you were surprised at how quick your emotions numbed up when you thought about what had happened with Jackson. You felt at peace, or at least more so than you had felt before.

You had your own place, you felt free. You began unpacking a box, smiling at the thought that you were actually free from it all. Free to find someone new and free to buy whatever food you wanted, Jackson always complained about you buying junk food which annoyed you so you’d end up having to stash it in your room.

--

You had unpacked four boxes out of what seemed like a hundred, sighing you plopped down on the brand new couch you had bought. Something about old furniture in a new place just rubbed you the wrong way, splurging on buying a new bed, couch, table and etc. It was expensive but well worth it, in the last few weeks your regular good paying client for medium uses had introduced you to some of his friends and that gave your bank account a much needed boost.

As you lay there you wondered what Yoongi was doing, if he was watching you or if he even thought or you since that night. The urge to summon him was intense, you wanted to have him in your new life, your new start. But you also feared he’d end up leaving you, he was a demon- he would live forever unless someone snuffed out his life force. You however, were just a human who would grow old and weak as time went on. Yoongi could also be just like Jackson, sure you weren’t entirely sure you wanted a relationship with him but since you had somewhat of an interest in him you needed to see all possible outcomes of calling on him. What if he rejected you? Only wanted to sleep with you or take your soul? Groaning you tugged at your hair, “I want to see him but I don’t want to lose him” you muttered to yourself.

A familiar chuckle caused you to shoot up from the couch, looking around frantically “Yoongi?”. The lights flickered off and it confirmed your suspicions, you could feel your heart pounding in your chest with a blush staining your face. You hadn’t expected him to just show up without you calling him, “Yoongi is that you?”.

An inhuman gargle noise sounded from elsewhere in your apartment, not feeling frightened at all since you knew it was just him and even if it wasn’t it was something you could handle.

Sighing you walked over to where your bag was, reaching into it to find holy water in a squirt gun. “Yoongi if it’s you I would recommend showing yourself otherwise you’re going to be very upset when I find you~” you sang out with a laugh, the sounds of something moving hazardously across your floor made you aim in it’s direction and squirt some of the water out.

You didn’t hear a noise of anguish so you knew you hadn’t hit anything, walking into the section of the living room you had fired the water in you just stood there and waited. Hairs standing on end you felt two hands sneak around your waist and pull you in close, you could hear someone inhaling deeply before a slimy tongue licked up your shoulder and neck. You were fairly certain it was Yoongi, the chuckle you recognized was his- but if it wasn’t him than you were pretty stupid to just allow this demon or entity to catch you so easily.

Leaning back into the entity you felt the arms tighten around you, “Miss me kitten?” Yoongi asked with a laugh. A smile formed on your lips at the sound of his voice, “I’m not sure, did you miss me?” you asked as you placed your hands over his, one hand still holding the squirt gun. Yoongi buried his face into the side of your neck and placed small kisses on the area, “More than missed, it felt weird being without you and your bratty attitude”.

Turning around in his arms you wrapped yours around his waist- tossing the squirt gun elsewhere, “Turn the lights back on and let’s watch a movie yeah?”. The lights flickered back on, as you looked up at his form you bit your lower lip- an electric sensation pulsed through your core at the sight of him. He must have thought he’d scare you with a different form, but he did the opposite, he had four jet black eyes, large horns curling back and up on his head and pointed canines.

Yoongi let out a growl at your unexpected approval of his appearance, he was hoping seeing him in his true demonic form would allow you to rethink being with him but by the way you had reacted it only made you want him more. Spreading his tattered wings out he whipped his pointed tail around wrapping around your arm, “Like what you see?” he asked with a smirk- his fangs glinting in the artificial lighting. Nodding you leaned up and pressed an open mouth kiss to his neck, you could feel his body tense up at your ministrations. Sucking and nipping as his skin your arms made their way around his neck, his tail having released your arm- instead it was now flickering around behind him. His hands gripped your hips roughly, claws digging into the flesh but not breaking the skin. Pressing yourself into him more you could feel his hard on through the jeans he wore, “Is this your real form or?” you asked between sucking hickies into his skin which faded almost instantly.

“It’s my demonic form- yes, I wanted you to know what I look like in my truest form” he said before gripping your chin and pulling you up for a deep kiss, his long forked tongue slithering against your lips. Opening your mouth you let your tongue move against his, the unfamiliar sensation of having such a long tongue inside your mouth making you question if that was something you liked or not. 

Biting on his lower lip you tugged at it playfully, his deep growl cut through the air in approval. “Jump kitten” he commanded, you jumped up into his grip letting your legs wrap around his waist while his hands found your ass and held you close to him. Smiling down at you he placed a quick peck on your nose before walking you into your bedroom, you hadn’t set up barriers in this apartment in case Yoongi came around. Setting you down on the king sized bed he leaned over your body with one knee on the mattress, “Do you want me? Or are you just lonely?” he asked, his dark eyes staring into yours. Chewing on your bottom lip you stared right back at him, you had thought about him multiple times every day since he had left. You knew you wanted him, friend, lover, or whatever- you just wanted him around. “I want you..do you want me? Or just my soul?” you countered back, eyes not breaking the gaze. 

Yoongi smiled at you raising one of his hands up, “I want you, and your soul” he ended the sentence with a boop to your nose making you glare at him. “Just kidding! I’ll let you decide if I can have your soul or not in the end but yes, I do want you”, rolling your eyes you giggled at how childish he was. “Alright, then you’ve got me” practically purring those words you pulled him further down on you while your hand trailed down his side and to the top of his pants, “You said something while you were possessing Jackson right? About wanting to see me beg you to fuck me?”. You saw as Yoongi’s eyes narrowed at those words, his serpents tongue flickering out of his mouth to wet his lips- “Of course kitten, it’s something I still want to see happen”.

The arousal dripped from his words making you whimper out, “Then fucking make me beg, Yoongi”. All at once his hands were tearing your clothing off your body, gently caressing the newly exposed skin as he did. Desperate for his touch you bucked your hips up in hopes of rubbing against his pelvic region, “Fucking take your pants off” you growled out while one of your hands tugged at the waist of them. Yoongi cackled at your eagerness before leaning back and stripping himself, leaving just his boxers on. 

Sitting up on your elbows you took in his almost naked form, he wasn’t as muscular as Jackson but his body was so much more defined and pretty. Licking your lips you went to reach for his member that was straining in the confines of his boxers, though once your hand was in close proximity of it he caught your wrist. “Good kittens will be patient, behave for me will you?” you wanted to argue but instead you bit down on your lower lip while glaring up at him, you noticed  he had switched back to his previous state. No more wings, horns and his eyes were back to two- of which weren’t completely blacked out. 

Yoongi chuckled, “Good girl, now why don’t you lay back against the headboard for me will you?” pointing to the headboard he waited for you to slide yourself back, once you had you leaned your back against it and cocked your head to the side waiting for his next command. Spreading your legs a little bit you watched as his eyes flickered down to your exposed core, he gulped loudly as he took in your willing form. “Fuck kitten, the things I want to do to you” he groaned out while running a hand through his hair, you giggled and laid against the bed more so that only your head was up against the pillows in front of the headboard. 

Spreading your legs even further you used a finger to motion for him to come to you, he may have wanted to be in charge but you needed him to touch you-anywhere.  Yoongi was between your legs within seconds, kneeling down between them as he pressed kisses against your inner thighs- you could feel your core throb with anticipation as his mouth grew closer to where you needed him the most. 

Yoongi looked up at you, his mouth hovering over your dripping wet core before shooting you a devilish smirk and licking a strip up your slit. Moaning out you gripped the blanket on the bed, Yoongi moved your legs over his shoulders as he licked feverishly at your cunt. Sucking at your clit before swiping his tongue over the bundle of nerves rapidly, your hands found his hair as your legs trembled. 

“Ah fuck! Yoongi!” you moaned out loudly, the sensation was overwhelming- no one had touched you in so long you had forgotten how intense it could be. Bucking your hips up into his mouth you could feel the vibrations of his laugh in your core, as his tongue assaulted your clit your eyes closed from the intense pleasure ravaging your body. Your core was tightening and spasming rapidly, you knew what it meant and you chased for it by squeezing Yoongi’s head between your thighs. His strong grip on your thighs pried himself free as he gave your pussy one last lick before trailing kisses up your body, “Feel good kitten?”. 

Tears were in your eyes at the overwhelming sensation of being so close to releasing only to have it ripped away from you, “F-Fuck, I haven’t felt that good in so long. Why’d you stop?” you whined out. Yoongi started ridding himself of his boxers as you stared at him with blown out pupils, “Oh god you’re so fucking sexy, you don’t know how badly I’ve wanted you”. 

Holding your arms out to him you spread your legs a bit farther apart for him, “Fuck me Yoongi, I want your cock inside me so bad”. Staring down at his toned body your eyes followed to his erection, he had claimed he was bigger then Jackson and he didn’t lie. His cock was thicker and longer, the tip already swollen and leaking with pre cum. Thankfully Yoongi wanted you just as badly as you wanted him, placing himself between your legs and rubbing his swollen member up and down your pussy. 

Eyes fluttering shut you felt a hand snake it’s way up your torso to cup your breast, opening your eyes slightly you saw Yoongi’s fucked out gaze as he rocked his member up and down your slit gathering your essence. Biting his lower lip he fought to control himself from just slamming into you all at once, using his other hand he prodded your entrance with a finger gently. Slipping it inside, gasping out as your hot tight walls sucked his digit in until he was in knuckles deep. 

“Ah! Fuck! Mmm, Yoongi..please” you whimpered out, trying to fuck yourself on his finger. He quickly added a second finger, thrusting them in and out of your snug walls slowly. Your hips started bucking into his hand hoping to make him go faster but he used his free hand to press down on your stomach to hold you still, “Shh shh kitten you need to let me stretch you out a bit okay?”. Rolling your eyes you tried to bucked into his palm despite what he said, earning a slap to your thigh from him. 

Yoongi pulled his fingers out of you roughly and used his hands to pin yours down on either side or your head, “Kitten wants to misbehave? I was just trying to be a good master and make it easier for you to take my cock but if you want to be a filthy cock slut then I don’t care if it hurts”. His words made your core clench around nothing, talking dirty was something you were always into but Jackson had always laughed at you when you’d mention it. 

Whimpering you bit your lip while staring up at him waiting for him to ruin you, as if on cue Yoongi aligned his throbbing member up with your awaiting hole after freeing one of your hands. You could feel the pressure of his tip slipping into your snug velvet walls, both letting out loud groans and moans at the sensation. 

Slowly he slid himself into your pussy until he was at the base of his member, letting out a sigh he threw his head back and tried to control his breathing. Your cunt was greedily sucking him in, pulsating around the intrusion “Ahh you’re so big Yoongi” you moaned out at the feeling of being stuffed. Moving his hands back to pin yours down he started pulling out of you slowly earning a hiss from you, the sting of the stretch was still new but it felt so good. Swiftly he snapped his hips into yours, grunting at the feeling of your walls wrapping around him over and over again with each thrust. 

Clawing at his hands that held yours down you couldn’t stop biting at your lower lip as he pounded into you quickly, the sounds of skin slapping filled the room and the unmistakable growls coming from him over turned you on even more. “Ah-Ah, that’s right master fuck my pussy” you gasped out as he picked up his pace, a deep growl ripped through his chest as he freed your hands  in exchange for your hips. His thrusts becoming rougher and more powerful at your words, you could feel the fluttering in your stomach as he mercilessly fucked you driving your closer and closer to the edge. 

Your hands found his sides and clawed into them roughly, Yoongi felt himself shutter in pleasure at the pain “Ah fuck kitten master is going to fucking destroy this pussy”. Pulling out of you he flipped you onto all fours, pushing your head into the mattress as he lifted your ass up higher before slamming into you without warning. 

Your moans quickly filled the apartment, you were certain your new neighbors could hear you but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care as the sexy demon pounded away at you. Yoongi could feel himself starting to get closer to his end, reaching down to rub at your clit violently. 

“I can tell you’re close, your walls are fucking twitching around me. Cum for me baby” his deep gravely voice commanded you as his pace picked up in both his thrusts and on your clit. Closing your eyes you let your body accept it all and soon that coil felt like it was about to break, “I’m close I’m close keep fucking me please don’t stop!” you cried out weakly. Yoongi pinched your clit before rubbing it faster, his thrusts growing sloppy but not weakening in power. 

Thighs trembling you felt your whole body shake as your orgasm ripped through you, your eye sight started to fade to black but Yoongi’s thrusts forced you out of your semi-unconscious state while he chased his own high. You squirmed under his grasp at the over stimulation of his still rubbing your clit roughly, he snapped his hips into you a few more times before giving you one last rough thrust and releasing deep inside you. Leaning down he peppered your spine with kisses as he shallowly thrust in your abused walls milking himself inside you, you tried to regain a normal breathing pattern as you felt the demon pull out of you slowly. The now empty hole filled with his cum clenching around nothing, you could feel his slick mess drip out of you and down your thigh. 

Something warm and damp brushed your sensitive skin, cleaning you up gently “You okay kitten?” Yoongi asked as he finished cleaning you up and tossing the towel near his clothes he had removed earlier. Nodding weakly you let your body fall flat against the bed, rolling over onto your back you smiled to yourself. You had forgotten what it felt like to orgasm at the hands of someone who wasn’t you, Yoongi slid in next to you and wrapped his arms around you. Nuzzling into your neck, “I’m so fucking tired, you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that ____”. Turning on your side you looked at him and ran a hand through his damp hair, “Hasn’t it only been like a month or so since you met me?”. Yoongi chuckled weakly before sighing, “Ahh no, I’ve known who you were for awhile I just only recenlty worked up the courage to face you”. 

“You’ve known who I was for awhile? Then you lied when you said you had just found Jackson and decided to take him for a spin”, your brows furrowed in confusion since he had been drinking the wine of truth when he answered you. 

Yoongi pressed a kiss to your nose and laughed, “No, that was true, just not the entire truth. I’m a demon I know how to manipulate things babe”. Groaning you accepted his explanation since you were too tired to argue it, for now you just wanted to enjoy the demon next to you while you could. 

“Oh and ____? I’m moving in” Yoongi said with a snap of his fingers, whooshing noises filled the apartment as your boxes were unpacked and placed accordingly along with items you didn’t recognize. Looking at the decorations in your room you sighed, wanting to slap the smirk of the demons face as you noticed items of the occult hanging all over the wall with what you assumed was blood dripping down the paint. 

Living with Yoongi was going to be literal hell. 

(A/N: This was just something random I typed up in one night so sorry if it’s garbage! Also sorry if anything mentioned disturbed or triggered anyone!)

[cryinggameff]

Sixty Six

Cayden

"Yo, where you been at man?" Pat asked, tossing the ball to me. I dribbled for a bit before picking it up.

"Nowhere, took a few days off," i said. I ran up to the net and did a lay up.

"To be with Randi's ass im guessing," Cole said from the side line. He was in town this weekend for a game which we were all gonna watch that sunday.

"Yo let me tell you, things go a lot smoother when you keep wifey happy. How that saying go?" i paused. "Happy wife, happy life, or whatever corny shit."

"How's the little nugget doing anyways?" Ty asked, swiping the ball from my hands.

"She aight. They thinking of opening a second location right now so she all into that," i shrugged. For obvious reasons i wasn't a fan of the idea of taking on something so big right now, but telling Randi not to do something was like asking water to not be wet, wasn't no point. Best believe i was still gonna try though.

"She coming sunday right? She ain't ever replied my text," Cole turned to me.

"I think so," i said.

"We gon gossip all day or actually play ball?" Rambo who had just walked through the door said. He started playing ball with us a few weeks ago, it was a matter of time now that he was around so much. God knows how, but his half open half closed relationship with China was going strong. They were both wild characters though so i guess it worked.

"My nigga you  15 minutes late talking about we gon play ball," i laughed.

"Yeah but i showed up ready, yall coulda started but yall having a tea party," he said. I grabbed the ball back from Ty.

"We were talking about your mama actually," Ty chimed in. "What were you saying about Miss E's tittied Pat? " he smirked.

"Ty shut your gay ass up," Rambo mugged him.

"Chill bruh," Ty pushed his shoulder.

"aight, aight, lets ball,"i said seeing Rambo's face looking a little to serious. "Cole on my team," i called.

"Yall can't both be on the same team," Ty said.

"What he said. Aint no point in playing that game, we gon loose," Rambo agreed. Cole and i laughed.

"Fine ill be the other captain," Cole offered. So we split off into trams and finally started our game.

I went to the warehouse after playing basketball. Id finally hired an assistant and she was coming in today for her first day. Id been talking to her for a couple of weeks filling her in on everything Kassie used to do around here. I knew nobody could replace her but anyone was good at this point, i couldn't keep planning all the trips and shit like i been doing now, i had other shit to do. Kassie was doing me a solid though and she agreed to come for a few days and train her. Thank God because honestly i dont know how she did half the shit she did. I was looking in my emails when a knock came at the door.

"Yeah," i said. The door opened.

"New girls here," Ty said.

"Let her in," i said. He opened the door wider and Keisha walked in, looking unsure. Ty gave me a curious look before leaving and closing the door.

"Yo, thanks for coming," i said, getting up from my chair.

"Thanks for calling me. This...is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me," she said. I shrugged. I sat back down and she sat in the chair on the other side of the desk.

"You know, you could have just hit me up if you needed a job."

"Oh come on," she scoffed. "That would have been awkward as fuck and you know it. Especially considering your married now. Which still confuses me," she tilted her head.

"I know," i chuckled.

"How she get you of all people to settle down?"

"I swear she has a super power, she got me doing all kinds of shit i never thought id do. Out here planning anniversary trips and shit," i mumbled. Thats actually what i had been doing on my email before.

"I know all about people changing you," she smiled, "Jacob did the same for me."

"Jacob. That yo man?"

"Sort of," she laughed. I raised a brow. "My kid," she said.

"Ohhh," i said, realizing that was the reason she had started stripping to begin with. She definitely wasn't making enough in retail to support a kid.

"Yup thats how i ended up at the club," she shrugged. "It wasn't bad though. Was making pretty good money too."

"You gonna make over double here, easily. You still gotta deal with a bunch of niggas though unfortunately."

"They don't scare me."

"Good," i said. "So my last assistant gon be here starting tomorrow to help you out. After that you'll be good. Kassie knows her shit."

"Okay, sounds good. Thank you Cayden," she said again.

"Yo, you helping me out too so we good. I was thinking we could just take you around today. See the place and how we do business and what not," i suggested. She nodded. "Cool, lets go." I grabbed my phone and keys then got up from my chair. She grabbed her bag and we left my office.

Randi

China and Jada were getting on my last nerve. I was fairly sure it was in part due to my hormones but also they had me driving around to look at places all day and i was tired and getting car sick as well.

"Okay, one more place" Jada said, looking down at the GPS. I was sitting in the passenger seat.

"I think Randi is fed up with us," China said

"Im not fed up. I just dont get why we're putting so much time in to finding the place right now when we don't even have a full plan in place. Also you got us looking all the way out here, over an hour from the first location, i thought we agreed we wanted to be close to the first one," i said.

"We not sue yet. We just looking Randi, not like we gon sign off on anything today. I thought you were excited about this?" Jada asked.

"I am..." i said.

"So why such a negative nancy?" China asked.

"Im tired," i said simply. "Didn't get a lot of sleep last night."

"Too busy having sex?" She asked. I rolled my eyes. "Come on, lighten up Randi. You're probably just hungry, you know how you get," she said.

"Should i pull into a drive through?" Jada turned to look at me. I paused. Honestly a milkshake did sound really good. Some onion rings too.

"Ok maybe i could eat," i mumbled. They laughed and Jada changed lanes to exit towards the restaurants.

We sat down in McDonalds with our food and i suddenly wasn't hungry anymore so i just drank my milkshake.

"You know what i realized the other day?" Jada said.

"What?" China and I said at the same time.

"We haven't done a girls trip in over 2 years."

"Oh you're right," i said.

"Well Randi probably not down anymore, she's married," China said. She said married with such shade i had to laugh.

"Im down. When we going?" i asked.

"Few months maybe?" Jada said. Yikes, i thought to myself. In a few months i was gonna be at home...with a newborn.  But they didn't know so i just said maybe like i was considering it. Id only told cayden two weeks ago, i wasnt ready to start telling other people yet.

"By the way, are we going to the game together sunday?" China asked.

"Cay will drive us," i said.

"Im excited,  never been to  pro game and knew someone playing."

"Im excited to see Cole. I feel like a mom, i may actually cry watching," i giggled.

We eventually left and went to go see the last property for the day. Again, it was nothing amazing and i was starting to think it was a sign. Of course i didn't say anything about it because i didnt wanna seem against it. Jada dropped me off at the Salon where my car was parked and i drove myself home.

Cayden was home already, watching a basketball game in the living room. I dropped my bag and walked further into the house. Cayden turned around.

"Ran," he said, getting up to come hug me. I lifted my arms to wrap them around his neck. He pulled back a bit to kiss me.

"Hey babe," i said with a smile. His hands were firm around my waist and it felt nice, secure.

"How you feeling today?"

"Okay," i shrugged, "Haven't thrown up so that's good. Im tired though."

"How about i set up a bath so you can relax or something," he offered.

"If you get in with me, sure."

"Aight, lets go," he took my hand in his. We were about to go upstairs but the doorbell rang and i sighed. I let go of his hand against my will and went to go answer the door. My parents stood on the front porch.

"Mom? Dad?" I said, surprised.

"Hi honey. Hope this isn't a bad time. We thought we'd drop by, we missed you two" she smiled.

"I told her we should call first," dad said.

"No its fine, im just surprised. Come in," i opened the door wider. They walked inside and Cayden came to greet them. I gave him an apologetic look and he shrugged like it was nothing.

"I'll go start on dinner," i said.

"I'll help," mom offered.

My mom took over most of the cooking and i just cut veggies and stirred pots.

"You've been real quiet lately, you don't call, or come over" my mom said, "is everything ok?"

"Yeah, im fine mom," i assured her. She looked me over real good and i wondered if it was that obvious that i was pregnant. But if she knew she didn't say anything.

"You and Cayden fighting again?" she asked.

"No, we're good. Great actually. We've just been busy," i said, looking over at Cayden talking to my dad in the living room.

"Well, keep in touch, we miss you."

"I miss you guys too."

My parents finally left hours later and i was exhausted. I went upstairs and started to get ready for bed. I took a quick shower and changed into some sweats. Cayden was already in the bed on his phone. I got in on my side and got comfortable. I suddenly got a tasting for ice cream out of nowhere.

"I really want some ice cream," i said.

"We can get some tomorrow," Cayden said.

"But i really want some now," i complained. He looked up from his phone and i stuck my bottom lip out like a kid. He rolled his eyes.

"Im gonna have to go out now aren't i?" he guessed. I nodded. "What kind you want?"

"Mint chocolate chip. Can you get some pickles too?"

"Aight," he grabbed his keys.

"I love you," i smiled sweetly.

"Ya, ya," he said, annoyed. I laughed.

Ty

**Two days later**

We were at Cole's game, watching him murder the other team. We had been cheering him on and booing the other team when they scored. It was now the third quarter and the temperature was steadily dropping. The game had started at 7 and It was 9pm so the sun had already gone down and everything. I was wearing a jacket so i was ok. Jada,China, and Randi all huddled together to stay warm in the seats behind and the guys. They were all wearing T shirts when they got here, obviously they hadn't been to a game before. We ended up giving them our jackets and stuff. I felt pretty bad, but mostly for Randi. I didn't know much about pregnancy, but it couldn't be good to be out in this kind of weather without a jacket. Cayden turned around to face them.

“Its too cold out here, I’m gonna take you back to the hotel,” he said to Randi.

“It’s almost done Cay, I’m fine,” she said, teeth chattering. He gave a ‘Yeah right’ look.

"Theres only a few minutes, she'll be alright," China said. I mean she aint know, so you couldn't really blame her. I kept my mouth shut but i made eye contact with Randi before looking away. Cayden gave her a warning look because he clearly wasn't happy and i didnt blame him. He was just worried bout her.

"Ok, lets go," she said. The girls looked at her strangely, probably wondering why Cayden would be bossing her around about going inside. "I'm really cold. I'll just see you guys in the morning. Tell Cole im proud of him."

"Okay," Jada said.

The two of them left and i watched them go up the stairs to leave the stadium. I missed s touch down and looked back to the field when everyone started cheering.

"Yo they're finished, they might as well go home! we got this," Pat said to me.

"Yeah man," i said.

After the game we all stuck around so we could see Cole. I was going out to dinner with him after and everyone wanted to congratulate him. We waited by the change rooms and after a while Cole and his teammates started coming out. The other players' families were waiting too. I waved when i saw him and he smiled big seeing everyone here for him. He came over and dapped everybody. We all told him how well he'd played and he thanked everyone for coming out. I saw him looking around though.

"Wheres Randi?" He said, sounding disappointed.

"She left at third quarter," i said. His face looked hurt or betrayed, and i felt bad.

"There was a few minutes left, she couldnt even stay? Wow," he mumbled.

"It aint like that man-" i tried to explain and defend her but he was finished with the topic.

"Whatever. I just wanna have dinner like we planned. Gotta go talk to coach real quick, meet you in 10?"

I nodded. He leaned in and kissed me in front of all the people that were gathered, including his team mates. I grinned.

"So what did you wanna talk about?" I asked him, taking a bite out of my burger. He had said he wanted to discuss something after the game.

"Nothing really. I was just thinking i miss you during the week," he said.

"Its hard not being able to drop by whenever," i agreed.

"Aight, So i was thinking, come stay with me then," he shrugged. I paused, surprised and a little confused.

"You wanna live together?" i asked. He nodded. I was down for that, but i knew he meant in Dallas. Which meant i would be doing the moving. "What am i gonna do in dallas?"

"Be with me, what you mean?"

"I work here Cole. I can't up and leave everything, what the hell would i tell Cayden?" I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms.

"Not like you have a real job, you can do what you do anywhere," he said. My brows came together.

"Not a real job," i chuckled humorlesly. "I make real money so,"

"Thats not what i meant," he said, reaching across the table to touch my arm.I didn't say anything. "I just want us to be together Ty."

"I do too, but im not leaving," i shrugged. There was a long stretch of silence were neither of us said a thing.

"I gotta go back in the morning. Can we just enjoy my last night," he mumbled. I paused. He had a point.

"Let's go back to my place. I can drive you back in the morning," i finally said.

I paid the bill and we left the restaurant to go back to my place. Neither of us wanted to be fighting when it was our last day together. but i knew the issue wasn't resolved and we would have to come back to the conversation. But it wasn't going to be tonight.

Randi

When we were driving home from the game Cayden and i were having a pretty heated conversation about when to spill the beans. We still hadn’t told people that I was pregnant, it was just between us. I liked it that way. Nobody had guessed, probably because I hadn’t quite started to show yet. My bump was still easy to hide.

Once we got home and got in the bed to sleep we had finally calmed down and stopped arguing. Cayden reached his arm over me and placed his hand on the lowest part of my small bump. He put his face against my neck so that my chin was resting on his head. His hand traveled gently over my skin in various patterns. My eyes closed because it was relaxing.

"We need to tell people" he said gently. I knew he was right, i was just hesitant to let everyone else in on it because then they would wanna put in their 2 cents and be telling me what to do and everyone would start treating me different.

"I know," i said simply, opening my eyes again. "Im gonna miss it being just us," i said.

"It's still gonna be me and you mama," he said.

"I know, but you know how my friends are, and my mom, God. She's gonna wanna be involved in every way possible," i sighed.

"My mom will probably be on your case too," he said apologetically.

"Ugh" i rolled my eyes, annoyed.

"But think how excited they're gonna be," he said. I nodded.

"My moms gonna freak," i smiled a little, thinking about it. She had been so disappointed when i told her i didn't want kids. "Fine, give me one more week then we can tell them."

"Deal," he agreed.

"By the way, Ty knows," i said, giving him an apologetic smile.

"What?" he said, sitting up. I laughed.

"Im sorry, he came over to get the keys to your office and i almost fell and i kinda made it obvious and he guessed," i said quickly.

"He knew before me!?" He looked so upset, like someone had stolen his favorite toy.

"sorry," i said again. He pouted. "I love you," i touched his face. He still looked mad. "But technically i didn't tell him, he guessed. You're still the first person i actually told," i said to comfort him.

"I guess..." he said. I pulled him back down so that he was laying down again.

"you still mad?" i asked.

"No," he shook his head.

"Then you better say you love me back."

"I love you baby mama," he said. I gave him a dirty look and he cackled.

[shirleylawson]

R&R in Scotland

May 2014

I am telling you! You could not make this shit up!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am convinced I am jinxed. Someone is stabbing a wee voodoo doll with my face on it, and the bastard is not perturbed even though I keep fighting him/her and pretending like it’s water off a ducks back, with my, "bring it on" jinx fairy attitude! And still my jinx keeps trying to break me. But it’s a weird kind of jinxed because I personally feel extremely lucky and blessed, even though the jinx still keeps throwing me shit.

My latest jinxed story is this week I’ve had in Scotland. One week today I’ve been here. I so badly needed a little ME time and to decompress. Scotland/home seemed like the answer but I can't say it' been therapeutic.

I was only here a few days when I woke up with stabbing pains in my chest and an ambulance was called by my Lesley, and the next thing I knew I was lying in the Emergency room in my pink, fluffy, panther onesie (well Lesleys onesie, but it wants to be mine)! I could see on the sphyg that my blood pressure was 250/110 , geezo I thought, didn’t know numbers went that high on these machines! Digital age eh? A lovely, lovely young 1st year resident doctor boy child, who had really just gone into third year at school surely, gave me an IV of morphine and valium that buzzed and whooshed it’s lovely, lovely LOVELY way to my limbs and head within one single minute. Onsie on, hands behind my head, laying back, sun shinning outside and right onto my little stretcher bed, life felt pretty good for about 20 minutes, for the first time in too long to remember. Lesley even managed to get an unexpected day off as ‘’carer'’ to her friend, ‘’NO SHE DOESN’T HAVE ANYONE ELSE TO GO WITH HER, IT’S ME, ONLY ME!!!’’, I heard her scream to her boss down the phone as I was wheeled passed by the paramedics to the ambulance! By the way, when you hear the mee maw mee maw of an ambulance in the distance, and you know it's coming for you, it's the freakiest shit! That was a first for me, it wasn't on my bucket list, but still, it was a first which is always a positive. But I’m lying there, in the emergency room, thinking, in my comfy onesie, where will we go for lunch I wonder. See Mr. Jinx? I really don’t care most of the time, you’re wasting all your good tricks on me really! Things don’t freak me out that much, I’ve pretty much done that seen most of it before so nope, the whole chest pain, ambulance (sorry to tell you but I actually loved the ambulance ride, I was so pleased as I’ve never ridden in one before and always wanted to see the inside), the whole taken to hospital thing was nothing really. I’ve been in more hospitals as a nurse AND as a patient than Mr. Jinxy’s had hot dinners, so he’ll need to try harder. All well, and by the next day I’m lying in Lesleys bright yellow bikini lapping up the ‘’normal’’ sun you get out of Dubai in her garden. A couple of days up North will sort me, get out of the city! So off I go…

No stress, no worries, no pain, no work, no editing, no clients, no husband and no kids…nothing! (all references are not in order of importance!) I felt quite chirpy on my drive up! I was awwwwing and ooooohhhing in all the right places at the beautiful scenery, window open, sun on my face, music on, out the car a couple of times to take pics, all well - not even getting upset that there was road works and I was jammed for an hour, nothing was a bother.  I could smell Loch Lomand…I was a bit euphoric actually! The last 2 hours of the 4 hour journey, my euphoria was taking over by pain in my ankles. I was finding it difficult to use the gas and clutch pedals continuously for 4 hours because of my RA and my ankles and shins were complaining! By the time I swung round that bend that takes you into Oban, and that view that catches your breath from the top of your hill, wee fishing village, typically Scottish with it’s white houses and flowered gardens, it wasn't the view that was catching my breath... it was the agony of my ankles!! I found a place to stay pretty quickly and when I took my socks off in my room, it confirmed my suspicion. Red balloon legs and feet! I thought I’ll go have a shower, get the journey off my skin, take my meds and get into bed. On my drive up, I had stopped at a garage for petrol and also bought some cute little pink lady shaving razors, quite exited me, since I’d been here a week and had about 2 weeks of gorilla legs! So shower and a de fuzzing was waiting. When I get these flares, I get hundreds of little red, what look to me like blood blisters, on my skin wherever the flare is happening, in this instance, the legs. They disappear after the flare goes. You can probably guess what happened next! I’m drying myself outside the shower, in the guest houses fluffy, big, white bath towel and I notice my legs (and big fluffy white towel) were covered in blood! I’ve only gone and forgot about my little red occasional guests and shaved all their heads off!!! Blood!? Whatever they are, these blistery things, they are connected to a direct internal blood vessel system for sure, because they would…not….stop…BLEEDING!  I get myself plugged up with around 100 wee bits of toilet paper stuck to my legs to stop the bleeding. You know, like the kind you see on mens faces after they’ve shaved sometimes? Well, same as them, but only 98 more! I was not gonna be stopped, onwards with my me time, I’m going out for fish and chips!!!!!

Fish and chips didn't prove to be such a good idea either as it turned out. Spotted a lovely wee bench, right on the sea front, all to myself with a view of little old fishing boats and the cry of seagulls, perfect. I'm eating away (great fish and chips I have to say) and I make the first fatal mistake of throwing a bit of fish out on the pebbled shore for the gulls. There's an instant swarm (or should I say flock) of seagulls, screaming and fighting over this piece of fish. Once it was eaten by the most definite gang master, as he was the size of a dog, he looked over at me and I swear he caught my gaze for at least 10 terrifying seconds. He had found the food source! That was the end of it all. I was dive bombed and swooped upon, well my box of chips, which was sitting on my lap was swooped upon. I tried to swipe them away by shouting a shoo shoo kind of chant noise and trying to act as if a swarm of birds attacking me wasn't bothering me as I was now entertaining the entire pub across the road who were all enjoying the lovely evening outside, all watching and pointing at me! I made a quick decision and threw the box down and bolted. Well bolted in my hobble kind of way at the moment, which I'm sure entertained the onlookers even more. An old lady passed me and disapprovingly shook her head at me, ''ohhhh you should't have done that!'' she said. I looked around and every seagull that has ever visited, stayed or immigrated to Oban was in the 4 foot space in front of my bench, fighting and squealing, a mass of feathers and beaks. I decided to give up in this particular day and head back to the guest house to watch the football.

At this point in a flare, I would normally sigh and think well that’s the next 4-5 days gone then. Cancel clients, prepare myself to be horizontal for at least a few days, and not in the horizontal good way, and generally prepare to disappear till it was over (except Facebook of course) Nope, I was there to de stress, me time, that’s what I was told I needed, some ME time, so I wasn’t going to let a flare get in my way. Cutting a very long story short, not a good move, going out, even for fish and chips and seagull gladiator games, didn't improve my flare. To cut another long story short I hobbled my way up to the doctors surgery first thing in the morning, hoping they would take me before three weeks on Wednesday and perchance even today? My luck was in. Jinx was teasing me. Half an hour later I’m having a 4 inch needle of cortisone injected into my ankles and sent away with a 5 days supply of steroids, bliss!  I hobbled back to my guest house at twice the speed of the first time. Still slower than the 80 year old couple I was chatting with along the way, but still, it was progress. I hobble past my guest house and head for the car park as my ticket expired one hour before. Is there any point on telling you what was on my car? £60 fine! Exceeding the paid amount of time parked. No, no i don’t care I tell myself, my flare feels so much better, I might even be able to drive tomorrow and leave, not getting upset, it's  only money (shit) and I feel better which is more important. I go to the machine and pay enough to last till 9am the next morning. I sit in the passenger seat, door open and write the nice traffic warden person a note. I say, please don’t give me another ticket if i don’t manage down before 9am. The doctor at the surgery can confirm I’m not able to walk well at the moment due to an illness, here is my phone number, I am staying at a guest home 5 minutes away. Nice note. Should do the trick. I stick the note to the inside of the passenger window and a gust of wind blows the newly bought ticket out of my hand. I tried to grab it but landed on my knees from the car door. Kneeling on all fours, head bend back watching the ticket swirl around in the wind was the first time I thought, it really is getting to be a bit much this jinx business! I don’t have anymore change. I have a £5 note. I head off down the street to find a shop to get change. I pass a young mother sitting in her garden bench on her ipad, trying to ignore the constant moaning and screaming of her three small children playing around her. I really felt sad thinking how she’ll regret that when they leave home, and wished she had spent every second looking at their wee faces instead of an iPad. Then I realise I sound like an old granny and stopped that train of thought. First shop I pass is Farm Foods (a frozen food store) and I decide an ice lolly would be just the thing. Of course it’s a whole sale, bulk buying freezer place, so I can’t buy ONE ice lolly. I buy a box of 6 and give 5 to the woman on the bench for her kids as I pass her again. Kids are delighted!

New ticket on the car, the note is there too, I’m back in my room, legs elevated, medicated up, just watched the Italy game (world cup) and wondering what tomorrow will bring.

Start of a new week, my second week in Scotland starts tomorrow.

But all said and done, I must ask the new tenants in Rome if they threw away the dish of frozen water in the freezer with the two frozen names written on pieces of paper in it? I don’t think I told them about it and explained what it was. I told the last renters and I know it was there last summer coz I saw it, so they hadn’t touched it in 3 years. I think the new renters have thrown it away. Those two names I had in the freezer will have escaped! My spell will be broken. They will have put their jinx back on me… I’m sure of it! Although that wouldn’t explain all the jinx’s when they were in the freezer these past three years now would it? Hmmmm I don’t think this white witch spell works actually now that I think about it.

My phone has just broken, screens just gone black. I can still hear it ring or sms’s come in, but I can’t reply or answer as it’s just black. Shame I sold that new phone last week. :(

The end

[thekastlediaries]

I'm not sure if you've done one like this before, but could you maybe do a fic where Karen has been trying to avoid Frank because she has a bruise and or cuts due to investigating too far into something and she knows Frank will get angry, however he finally catches up to her? (Your writing has given me lots of late nights by the way I can't get enough)

It’s a habit she has, gazing at herself in the mirror before bed, trying to find answers in the shadows under her eyes. The bathroom feels strange after she steps out of the shower. Cocoon-like, warm and close. It feels like a time capsule straight from her childhood. The tile here is different though, pristine and white. She tries to focus on the difference, but it's futile. She can hear her mother crying softly in the echoey bathroom, can see the way she'd gently dabbed at her own cuts and bruises in the soft light. The memory sends anger surging through Karen, and she tries to blink it away, but her reflection doesn't lie. There are unwelcome flashes of her father swimming in the blue depths of her eyes, a hint of violence simmering just below the surface. It’s hard to push it away, to breathe deeply and ignore what’s been taken from her… what she’s taken.

Tonight it’s even harder. Her bathroom smells like antiseptic, and there are blood droplets dotting the ceramic surface of her tiny sink. She swabs the cuts on th side of her cheek. The coppery smell in the air and the sting of alcohol inside her nostrils carry her right back to the pink seashell tiles of her childhood. She can almost here the soft hum of her mother's voice working to ease the fear out of her children.

Karen's hands tremble with adrenaline running through them as she moves to inspect the scrapes along her hairline. The bright slash of red across her knuckles is a surprise under the harsh light of her bathroom. Her mother's delicate hands had never looked like this, scraped and swollen. But then again, her mother had never fought back. Karen curls her digits back into a fist. The hand looks too delicate to be her own. Perhaps she has some broken bones. She can still hear the way her fist collided with the man’s eye socket over and over, sickening. And she can still feel the pull of concerned samaritans dragging her off the would-be mugger huddled on the sidewalk. What she can’t feel is any pain. She’s numb.

She curses softly at the memory, the sound of it faintly echoing in the small bathroom. There’ll be a bruise down the side of her face in the morning, something she can’t hide with makeup or designer sunglasses. Maybe she can feign illness, stay cooped up in her apartment for the next week or so until the marks fade. She sighs. She was reckless and stupid and she doesn’t need the bevy of overprotective assholes in her life to chime in on her decision to fight back when she could have easily just let the man skitter away with her purse.

Except… she couldn’t have done that. Her gun… Mentally she kicks herself. Unregistered, illegally obtained, it had been in the purse and she wasn’t about to be the reason some kid got his brains blown out after getting in a petty argument. Working the crime beat for Ellison, she’d seen too many sobbing mothers, too many teens intimately acquainted with loss.

She closes her eyes, pushing away the feeling bubbling inside of her. It's an unwelcome wakefulness, false in its intensity. Her heart still flutters in her chest, jumping against her sternum. She knows there's a crash coming, that all this energy will spend itself, and she'll come falling down the abyss with nothing to catch her. With any luck her dreams will be a silent black oblivion. Maybe she'll just stand here staring at her reflection until the chaos inside of her fades away.

A loud rapping noise coming from her bedroom window pulls Karen from her trance. It seems loud anyway. Her senses are turned up, and the noise makes her jump, one hand flailing against the bottle of alcohol sitting on the edge of the bathroom counter. It spills everywhere, impossibly cold liquid splashing against her bare toes. Distracted, she jumps away from the counter. "Fuck!"

Her visitor is persistent, knocking again. It’s just Frank, she tells herself. No one else comes politely knocking at her window. Although why that should be of any comfort is a mystery.

She ties her robe and darts out of the cocoon of warmth in her bathroom and into her chilly apartment. The change in temperature sends a cascade of goosebumps across her skin. It’s dark, and her eyes haven’t adjusted, but she moves swiftly across the space by memory, reaching the window in a few seconds. Better to meet him in the dark anyway. Perhaps he won’t notice the angry red marks on her skin, or the puffy swelling around her eye.

Involuntarily, she snaps at him as she lifts the sash. “One of these days you’re gonna break the glass, Frank. Slamming your knuckles against the pane like you’re trying to wake up the whole neighborhood.”

He grunts in response, climbing through the window like a boy sneaking into his girlfriend’s bedroom. The thought comes unbidden, and she has to stifle the maniacal urge to laugh. She knows it would sound like a witch’s cackle echoing in her apartment, and she’s not too sure it wouldn’t turn into a pathetic sob. The residual effects of raging-out have her more than a little rattled. Silence is better.

Karen feints away from him before he can get a good look at her, slipping through her dark apartment toward the kitchen, grateful for the shadows. “Coffee?” she asks, already halfway to making a fresh pot.

“Always.”

There is one disadvantage in the dark. Frank is a silent companion, his tread soft when he wants it to be, and Karen doesn’t even notice that he’s standing directly behind her until she pulls her head out of the fridge. She nearly drops the carton in her hand with a squeak, but Frank is quicker, catching the thing before it spills across the kitchen floor.

He pushes the fridge door open wider, watching as the cold blue light illuminates her face. “Karen.” He growls her name, concerned and chiding at the same time.

She ignores him, retrieving the cream and pushing the fridge door shut with her hip as if nothing is wrong. “Do you want your coffee to-go, or are you staying for a bit?”

She knows this game can’t go on much longer, but it’s still a surprise when he flicks on the kitchen light. She squints instinctively, pain shooting across her eye socket. “Shit!” The curse comes out involuntarily.

“What the hell, Page?” His question is soft, barely more than a whisper in the quiet. She can tell he wants to be stern, but the look on his face is pained. “Who did this?”

"I'm fine." A fresh wave of guilt crashes over her. She doesn’t want him to have to deal with this. There are too many other things he needs to be worrying about, and really this has nothing to do with any of them. But he’s closing the space between them, his fingers gently slipping underneath her chin so he can angle her face toward the light. His jaw clenches, brow furrowing. She can see the gears turning in his brain, wondering what piece of shit he’s going to have to kill tonight.

"Who?"

She starts to pull away from him, reaching up to remove his hand. Instead her fingers curl around his wrist, feeling his steady pulse against her skin. “Some punk. He’s in lockup downtown with a broken nose and a fractured orbital socket. He got way more than he bargained for, trust me.”

“A mugger?”

She nods. “He cornered me on the way home, shoved me up against the brick and snarched my purse. I… I couldn’t let it go, Frank. My gun…” She leaves out the part where she couldn’t stop wailing on the man after she had him on the ground, the part where the responding officer looked at her with a wariness akin to fear.

She moves, actually pulling away this time. He holds onto her hand though, inspecting the damage. Her knuckles are purple and swollen, and they’re beginning to feel a little stiff. “Christ, Page, this is gonna hurt like shit tomorrow.”

His reaction isn’t what she expects. He’s not chastising or angry. His calloused hands are gently probing her injuries, and there’s a strange little quirk at the corner of his mouth. Suddenly she’s deflated. The exhaustion she’d been expecting creeps up on her. She sags into him, arms slipping up around his torso in an unexpected hug.

It’s not what they’re used to, some invisible boundary being swept away in a moment of weakness. Karen’s walls are crumbling, and she’s not sure why. His arms slowly circle her, holding her to him. He’s quiet, and they stand like statues in the glowing light of her kitchen.  She mumbles against his shoulder. “Damn it, Frank, say something. It was stupid, and scary. I shouldn’t have chased after him. I know it, but I’m just so fucking tired of people looking at me and thinking they can push me around... I’m so tired.”

He shifts, withdrawing his embrace, scooping her up before she can protest. It’s a bridal carry, and she feels the damn hysteria from before, this time muted in the back of her mind. She wants to protest but God he’s warm, and she’s so tired and sore. For the first time since the mugging she feels unquestionably safe and herself. “C-can you stay?” Silent is the rest of her plea, the feeling that she might just fly apart if she’s left to her own devices tonight.

He lays her down on the bed, slipping beside her on top of the coverlet, boots and all. “Page, your face… and hands… that’s all the damage, right?”

She thinks there might be a faintly purple bruise just under her left ribs if the twinging when she breathes is any indication, but she knows that’s not what he’s talking about. “That’s all.”

“You sure?”

“Yes.”

"Go to sleep." He sighs, pulling her closer to him so she can settle back against his chest. She begins to drift, her breathing syncing with his slower rhythm, warmth seeping into her limbs. Just as she’s floating away, her dreams soft and blue, she hears him quietly, almost to himself, his arms tightening around her. “Prick won’t be safe in lockup for long.”

The next morning, Karen wakes to the smell of bacon frying in her kitchen, Frank's back to her as he tends the stove. Quietly, she tiptoes into the bathroom, afraid of the mess that awaits her. The tiny space is sparkling clean, not a trace of blood from the night before, all the rubbing alcohol gone and bandages put away.

With a sigh, she looks in the mirror. HEr injuries are obvious, a large purple contusion on the side of her face, scratches still an angry red. She can barely move the fingers of her swollen hand. But in the light of day it feels different. Her eyes are clear and soft, and she can't help the way her lips turn up at the sound of Frank shuffling in her kitchen. She goes out to meet him, proudly sporting her black eye.

Please feel free to let me know what you think on ao3. It means so much to me when I get feedback.

[sociopathic-winchester]

I Was Back At Arkham Asylum (part 5) - Jokers Daughter & Jerome

Joker x daughter!reader Jerome x reader Warnings: none a/n: hey guys sorry part 5 took so long, was on VK then left VK then had a week with just my mom, as long then my birthday. the next part might take as long considering i have alot of requests to finish on my other blog and i want to write some teen wolf stuff in honor of it haveing its last 10 episodes soon. promise ill still work on this though. just so you guys know this is kinda like Jerome never got his face cut off. ( 2536 )

part1 ~ part 2 ~ part 3 ~ part 4 

After me and Uncle Frost planned how we were gonna break out Jerome from Arkham. We packed what we need and got in the car’s. As we got  in the Van I got changed into Arkham guard uniform.

“We’re here” Uncle Frost said, “you ready?” he asked.

“Yup, i’ll goin get him kill anyone who questions what we are doing an get back here to the van through the air shoot.” I said doing some physical last touch up to my costume.

“Good girl, and here put this in your ear you’ll be able to talk to me and hear me through it so I can know where you are and help you if needed.” he said handing me a earpiece.

“Got it, see ya soon” I said then winked at him.

As i got out of the van I walked up to the back door of Arkham (since we were able to get through the gate and park on the side of the building convincing the guards we were security checkers or whatever). As I started going up the stairs couple guards passed me and all they did was nod and I nodded  back.

I as I finally reached the cell level I saw some guards coming down the hall, one’s that normally escort me to my father. So I decided to take the clipboard with cell number and names to who's in them to see where Jerome was and to hide my face behind. As they passed I took it down. It said Jerome was in cell block B4, my father is in cell B20 which me and Jerome have to pass on our way down.

I started going down the B row. AsI got to B4  I used my dagger in my boot and picked the lock and pushed the door over through the side bars. He must have been asleep considering he rolled over looking at the door.

“What didn’t think I’d come this soon for ya?” I asked him, tilting my head.

“I thought it would take longer for you and some Frost guy to plan my escape . . . Are you wearing a wig?” he asked

“Yup! If they knows its me then  i can’t visit my dad. Plus it also helps we are doing this while they have a reboot of the system and cameras so hurry” I answered him, ushering him to come follow me.

He got up and followed me down the hall. As we are going down the hall I see B 19. So I slow down.

“Wait.” I said, walking over to the door of my father's cell B 20.

“Daddy?” I asked, looking through the bars best I could due to height.

“Princess, I i knew you would come fast” he said smiling

“I got Red out dad, can I-” I started but he cut me off.

“No princess we have to wait a bit longer to break me out.  You both need to go, now! . . .  and Psych” he said and Jerome came up to the door of his cell “ look out for her or I’ll kill you slowly.” he finished. And Jerome nodded.

I know my dad wanted more than one person looking out for me. I know he knows I Can take care of myself but he likes when there are extra backup there to look out for me. But why Jerome?

Me and Jerome started walking faster down the hallway.As we got to the air ducked wegot in and slid down.

As we made it down and around back to the van Uncle Frost opened the door and I grabbed Jerome's hand and pulled him into the van. Uncle Frost started the van and headed to the existing gate. I grabbed a blanket near by and put it over my and Jerome's heads. Once we are in the clear i take it off.

“Who is he?” Jerome asked pointing to Uncle Frost.

“Uncle Frost, let's go home” I said to Uncle Frost he nodded. “He is my uncle . . .  kinda. He’s my father's right-hand man.” I told Jerome he nodded looking at me with a little confusion.

“What? Why ya lookin at me like that? I asked him.

“Home. I’m going to your home?” he asked confused.

“Yeah where else?  . . . Look daddy thinks that you and me can be friends and be close. So you will be staying with us, plus it’s not like you have a place to stay.” I told him.

“We’re here” Uncle Frost said, pulling into the garage.

I grabbed Jerome’s hand and laced our fingers together and we exited the car. Jerome looked around, all I could do was smile while shaking my head, so did Uncle Frost. I lead Jerome up the building to the penthouse. Once we got there I opened the door with both Uncle and Jerome following me. Uncle Frost went to put things away, as I showed Jerome around. Once we got to the livingroom I forgot it was still trashed.

“What happened here?” he asked looking at the broken things all around the room.

“Well it's a long story” I told him. He then looked at me to continue.

“Me and Uncle Frost were just entering Arkham when I walked up to the desk asking to see my father. They told me that he beat up his doctor and a couple of guards so they put him in solitary. I numbly walked out back to the car. He didn't stay out of trouble like i told him, and now I can't see him. Anger started to rise in me. Once in the car I told Uncle Frost what happened and then we started on our way back home.Once we got home and inside I looked around and all I could see was thing’s that belonged to my mom and my dad. I don't know what I was feeling exactly. Anger, Loneliness, Pissed, Sad, Lost, Unloved. First Basty takes my mom, and I don’t know where. Them takes my Dad to at least i know where, but I can’t get him out; at least not yet. I can't take it anymore. That’s when I saw pictures of them, me with them, I started throwing things, breaking things trashing the place. My thoughts started becoming overwhelming and I just broke down. Crying, sobbing. Uncle Frost came over trying to comfort me. And I ended up just going to bed after that” I finished looking around around making hand gestures. He was looking at me with what I would call a cross between admiring and dare i say genuine smile. “What?”

“Nothing just you felt unloved, lost and pissedand all you did was trash a room. Then to get back at your dad you raced his precious car like crazy around Gotham.I call that restraint” he said looking at me. “My mother never cared about me, no one did. So I would have ever been in that situation, and if i ever was i probably would have killed a lot of people.” he finished.

“Well I am crazy but I just wanted to do something that would make him mad, but scared because I was putting my safety in danger and that would have hurt him more than letting into my crazy self and doing worse.” I finished, smirking.

As i went up to show him more of the penthouse. I noticed he gaze drifting  to me more then what I was showing him.

“You know if ya keep lookin at me instead of where things are, if you come to me in the middle of the night asking where the bathroom is I’m not gonna tell ya” As I spoke I looked at him walking up some stairs to where room’s for sleeping are, backwards.

He smirked “oh Doll I’m listening, just admiring you at the sametime”

“So you're multi-tasking, hmm nice” I hummed.

As we got close to the guest room (we never use) Uncle Frost came out of it.

“Fresh sheet’s are on the bed” he said.

“Great! Thank you Uncle Frost” I said smiling at him

“Jerome this is my Uncle Frost. No, he isn’t my dad’s brother. He is however my  dad’s best friend and like a brother to him, whether he admits it or not” I say smiling at the both of them.

“You hurt her I’ll kill you” Frost said shaking Jerome's hand, and squeezing it hard.

“Easy there buddy, I don’t plan on hurting her evere . . .  well unless she wants me to” he said the last part and started laughing.

That's when Uncle Frost punched him in the face. Then Uncle Frost said “next time it will be her father beating you not me, wise up boy.” then he walked away down the hall after i nodded i'm ok at him.

“Your an idiot Red, come on” i said opening the door to his room, he got up and followed me into his room. Jerome looked around noticing the t.v., Big scratch that HUGE bed, the colors were purple, gold, and blue.

“It’s huge, this is my room?” he questioned looking around.

“Yes Red, your room we never really use it, we don’t really have many guests” i said to him.

He looked like he never had a room before and he was excited but trying to hide it.

“Where's your room” he asked curiously.

“Up a little more” I said while walking over to the door and turned my head “ya coming” then continued down the hall. He followed me down the long hallway then up a little spiral staircase was a door I opened it and that was my room. Most things were blue and green, of course gold. There is some purple, red, and orange.

“This is mine. You probably need a ICE pack, hang on.” I said heading to the mini fridge.

“You have a big bathroom to yourself, fridgemini . . . nice. Also a huge room.” he said observing.

“Yeah I have snack drawers to. Daddy likes to make sure if he’s doing buisness downstairs i have everything i want or need to be able to stay up here. Till he's done that is, so i don't come down and get hurt. Although it can backfire on him, bonus for me.” I said.

“What do ya mean Doll?” he asked.

“ well if i'm mad at him and don't want to leave my room i got everything i need to survive” i said walking back over to him putting the ICE pack on the side of his head which was bruising and would most likely be purple tomorrow, go Uncle Frost.

“You should go take a shower and change clothes, there are clothes in your room” I told him. He nodded and got up and went to take a shower leaving my room.

After I heard the bathroom door downstairs shut, I got up and went to my movie cupboard and got out a couple movies setting them by the t.v.

Suddenly i heard a knock on my door “Come in!” i shouted. Uncle Frost came in.

“Hey just wanted to check on you.” he asked walking in a little bit.

“I'm fine Uncle Frost, a little bummed that we couldn't get dad out but i’m fine better that i was before . . . well ya know” i told him.

“We’ll get him out soon. I’m gonna call it a night so see you in the morning. I f Valeska tries anything stab him” he finished and i nodded agreeing.

He smiled leaving the room.

Shortly after Jerome stood in my doorway leaning on the door frame.

“So, the shower was fantastic.” I looked at him smiling to what he said.

“Nothing but the best dad says” i told him.

“Can I talk to you” he asked after a somewhat long period of silence.

“I guess” i said putting the movie in and walking over to him, which wasn't to far from my bed, where he is standing I mean.

“Your dad had you break me out because he thought we would make good friends, occasional friend in crime if you will . . . but do you think it had to do with something else? Like maybe us being more?” he asked

“May-maybe, I mean he told me so I would have someone to cause chaos with and to have another person look out for me. But wh-why you, you don’t care about anything or anyone right s-so how does that help me stay out of a pyscho ward and keep his mind at ease?” I stuttered as he closed the space between us.

“I do care about one thing and one thing only Doll” he said.

I gave him a confused look.

Then he kissed me. I felt sparks. He started walking is backwards, but not before cupping my face with one hand and holding my waist with the other. As we fallback across my bed.

I giggled, he loved over me brushing some of my hair from my face.

“I care about you . . .  you're the only thing in the world that i care about. Nothing else. I want to be your lover, mate, boyfriend, partners in crime. Will you be my girlfriend Doll?” he asked looking at me lovingly.

“Of course Red, ya know that is one of the top 5 sweetest things ever said to me.” I told him smiling.

He smiled a genuine smile not even creepy. And we started kissing again.

“Wait, wait, wait” i said pulling away for a moment.

He gave me a questioning look.

“Just FYI Red, i feel the same way about you. Granted I do love my Dad , mom and Uncle to though; oh and second can we cuddle and watch a movies now?” I told and asked him smiling really big, currently happy from the vents that have unfolded.

He smiled and nodded. “Only because you're the one asking . . . what movie?”

“Fast Five” I said to him smiling he smiled back even bigger.

As we got comfortable on my bed I pushed play on the disc menu button. Jerome pulled me into his arms and making it so I was laying against his chest. He kept his arms in a strong hold around me as we watched the movie.

Soon during the middle of the movie, where they start getting the team/family together my eye’s started to drift. Sadly at one of my fav parts. Who am i kidding every second in my fav part.

Which Jerome must have noticed “It's ok Doll. sleep you’ve had a long day, I’ll be here when you wake up.” he said then kissed my head.

“Ya gonna sleep too?” i asked him through a yawn.

“Yes Doll. but you sleep first, i’m gonna finish the movie it’s quite interesting” he said, running one hand through my hair the other still wrapped tightly around me. But i loved it.

“You do know Red that there are 8 of then and this is only the fifth” i told him.

“Well then Doll we are just gonna have to watch them all the next couple of days. . . now sleep you deserve it” he said.

He’s right , and I did.

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