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jesterjazz · 5 months ago

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Title: Another Day in the Future Pairing: Jimmy Neutron/Timmy Turner Rating: Gen Word Count: ~6K Ao3 link

--- It was one of those rare days where there was nothing major going on. The stars only align like this every few months. Jimmy was in his lab as usual. Libby and Sheen were on a date. Carl was at the zoo. Cindy? Who knows, who cares? Certainly not him. All was right with the world. The multiverse was quiet. Well... Aside from one glaring issue.

"Jimmy. Jimmy Jam. James. James Isaac Neutron. Uh... What is that Cindy calls you? Nerdtom? Nerdtron! Nerd the candy. Candyman."

Timmy Turner wouldn't shut up.

Jimmy refused to respond to any of those nicknames. He was far too busy working on his blueprints. Turner was in his lab being a nuisance, touching everything. Despite the number of times Jimmy had told him not to touch anything. Even going as far as to actively shake the chair that the boy genius was sitting on. It was taking everything in Jimmy’s power to not lose it.

"Jonathan." Turner shook the chair harder. How Goddard was able to sleep through all this ruckus was beyond him.

"That’s not even close to my name.” Not-Jonathan whipped his head towards the most annoying person in his lab. Probably the entire multiverse. “What in the name of science do you want, Turner?"

Turner shrugged, unaffected. "I'm bored.” He let go of the chair. His eyes went wide with an idea. “Ooh, can we create a bad guy to defeat again? That was fun."

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "You never learn."

"Nope!" Timmy smiled wide. As if his buck teeth needed more exposure.

“Why don't you play poker with your holograms?”

“He’s banned.” Cosmo said from a distance. Jimmy didn’t bother turning around. The holograms liked to play random board games off to the side. They were unintrusive, unlike their creator. They liked to play chess, monopoly, and apparently some fairy related board games?

Jimmy didn’t ask questions anymore. The one time he did, he got sucked in for about three days straight. It was brutal. Friendships and marriages were tested.

“Timmy is scary good at poker.” Wanda said.

“What? No way, you guys are just bad at lying.” Timmy protested. A valiant effort to defend his non-existent honor, but ultimately a useless one.

“It’s not fair!” Cosmo threw down his cards. The cards flew over Jimmy’s workstation and landed helter-skelter all over his blueprints.

"Why don't you just go home?" Jimmy brushed aside the loose cards. The mess would be future Jimmy’s problem.

"Vicky is babysitting again," The three of them intoned. It was eerie how in sync they could be at times.

Ah yes, the babysitter: Vicky. One of the cruelest people Jimmy had ever had the misfortune of interacting with. They only met once, but the memory of clinging onto the seat for dear life and then being thrown out of a car kept him up on random nights. The world Timmy lived in was absolutely terrifying. No wonder he didn’t want to return. Especially with a babysitter like that.

His friend would often complain about his babysitter. It was odd to know he had one, especially since they were only one year apart in age. Jimmy’s own parents were always around or made his grandma come over. He shuddered at the thought of the last time his grandma was supposed to take care of him. Still, he’s been able to stay home alone more often than not. Not like Turner ever had that opportunity.

"Well, that is her job,” Jimmy continued sketching out a small device. “My job is to work on an upgrade to make travel between dimensions more convenient for the team."

It’s been something he’s been meaning to do for a while. Traveling between different worlds had become a bit of an inconvenience. First he would need to track down Danny, Spongebob, Timmy, bring them back to the lab or whatever meeting place they were at, and fill them in on the details. Then they’d split up. If they got lost then that took up extra time to track the lost member down.

It was a whole tedious process.

Designing something handheld that each member of the team could carry with them would be useful. It would help with communication and knowing everyone’s location, especially in a time of a crisis. It could also make transportation between universes a lot smoother.

"Oh!” Timmy shook the chair again. Jimmy was going to defenestrate Turner one of these days. “I know what you should do instead. You should build a meeting area. It can be in space."

“You know you could just wish that up, Sport.” In the corner of Jimmy’s eye, he could see Wanda flying right next to her creator.

“Oh yeah.” Timmy blinked. “Nah, later. I want to annoy Jimmy right now.”

Jimmy sighed as he put his pencil down. “Having you here irritating me this only seems to be a disservice to my future self."

"Hey…” His friend smirked, never a good sign. “Future self, huh? You ever wonder what you're going to be like in the future?"

"Nope." Jimmy shut that down.

"Why not?"

"I already know.” He held up his blueprints, tilting his head. Did they look right? No. Something was missing. He put them down. “I'm going to get multiple Nobel Peace Prizes, be rewarded for helping make advances in science, and not be married to Cindy."

"And how do you know that?" Timmy crossed his arms.

"Because I built a portal to the future." Jimmy said, erasing a detail he didn’t like. He was going to redraw that one bit again.

"What?” Timmy pushed Jimmy’s chair. “When was this?" The table shook with the force of Timmy’s push, sending his pencil flying across the room.

Jimmy heaved a long-suffering sigh.

His attempts to get anything done would always be foiled as long as Turner was here. At least one of the holograms teleported his pencil back. While they were bound to Timmy’s chaotic whims, they still did things of their own volition.

He remembered his friend’s question, "Oh. A few months before we made Shirley."

“Huh… Do you still have it?”

“It should be somewhere in the back of the lab,” he said absentmindedly, vaguely gesturing to the back. Mm, erasing pencil lines was annoying. Maybe he should just start over.

“Cool!” Timmy ran off.

Finally, peace and quiet.

Jimmy enjoyed it for about five seconds before the implications nearly knocked him onto the floor. He jumped out of his seat and went after Turner. He was not going to let Turner mess with time. Let alone unsupervised.

“Is this it?” Timmy stood right in front of the Chrono Arch.

“How many times in the past have we messed with time?” Wanda crossed her arms.

“This is different. Now we're messing with the future.” Timmy smiled.

“He’s got a point there.” Cosmo mused.

“No, you will not.” Jimmy approached them and the arch. “That’s odd. There should be a sheet covering it.”

“Well, there isn’t.”

Said sheet was sitting in a puddle on the floor to the side, discarded. He could've sworn he covered it. Last time, he swore to himself that he’d never mess with his future ever again.

Dictator Libby was enough for one afternoon adventure.

Timmy cracked his knuckles, wiggling his fingers as he reached out to push some buttons.

“Turner!” Jimmy pulled him away by the collar before he could do so. He was getting way too good at stopping Timmy moments before disaster. “Let me handle this. How far into the future do you want to see?”

He looked over to see if everything was still stable. The machine was still plugged in. Odd.

“Mm.” Timmy tapped his shoes. “I don’t know. Ten years?” He glanced at Cosmo and Wanda. Cosmo only shrugged.

Ten years? They would only be in their early twenties. Well, there was no doubt Jimmy would find some success. He’d probably be in college, finishing up a master’s… Or maybe even a doctorate.

While his parents wanted him to stay in elementary school to be around other kids his age, they didn't have those same restrictions when it came to his later teen years. If he played his cards right he could probably finish up high school early. A vague plan, but a plan nonetheless.

The next ten years didn't seem that interesting. Just boring high school stuff he had seen in movies. Music, dancing, and unrealistic romantic woes.

The last time Jimmy ran the machine he did at least fifteen years to see what he was like in his mid twenties. He was thriving, along with his other friends.

“Ten years feels a bit too soon.” Jimmy summarized his thoughts.

“Uh… Twenty years!” Timmy said. Twenty years into the future. It seemed so far away. He’d be in his thirties, basically an old man.

“I hope there’s flying cars!” Cosmo said.

“Cosmo sweetie, we can already fly.” Wanda reminded him.

“Oh yeah…”

“Alright,” Jimmy punched in the exact date twenty years into the future. “Let’s have a look at Retroville twenty years from now.” He turned the machine on.

The boys peered through the archway to see future Retroville. It seemed altogether more stylish, with better paved roads, floating billboards, and robots patrolling the sidewalks.

People were wearing sleek futuristic outfits.

Jimmy searched for his future self. He landed on a house with a rainbow flag. Calling it a house was an understatement, it was almost a mansion. There his future self was, sitting in a living room surrounded by prizes. He looked unbothered by life, and more importantly, there was no Cindy in sight to bother him. Hopefully he was far away from Timmy Turner as well.

“Seems like everything is as it should be.” Jimmy stepped back from the Chrono Arch, arms akimbo as he admired a future where things were calm and he was successful.

“What about me?” Timmy crossed his arms.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, “I don't know if we’d even be friends that far in the future.” Of course everything had to be about or related to Turner. “Who’s to say you would even be in Retroville?”

Timmy grinned with mischief in his eyes, “Let’s find out.” Then he ran right into the portal.

“Timmy!” The holograms yelled and flew right after their creator.

“How did I end up with Vicky’s job?” Jimmy wondered aloud to his empty lab. There was only one thing he could do. He ran through the Chrono Arch.

The lights were blinding. Traveling through time or between different dimensions did not get any easier.

“This place looks cool!” Timmy yelled, which made Jimmy flinch. His ears were still ringing a bit.

Turner never seemed to be affected by these sorts of things. Were those the consequences of having holograms teleporting him anywhere? Did that make things easier? He would do more research, but Timmy was very protective of Cosmo and Wanda.

After Jimmy’s eyes adjusted, he looked around. It was still very much Retroville. They landed in a more suburban area. Not a place Jimmy frequented. This was more where the upper middle class were located. His parents were regular middle class.

He only knew where they were because this street went all out during Halloween. There would be fake skeletons, grand decorations, and oh, the candy would be marvelous.

This was probably the street where his future self lived. Nice.

The holograms were no longer in their fairy forms. Instead they had morphed into oddly colored squirrels, sitting right next to Timmy.

“Turner!” Jimmy yelled, Timmy’s wonder crashed into annoyance at Jimmy’s voice. “You weren't supposed to go into the future.” Jimmy’s eyes widened in panic. He patted himself down. “Darn it, and we have no means of getting back.”

Jimmy didn’t even have Goddard with him. At least last time he was in the future with Carl and Sheen, the robo- dog was there to help make travel easier.

“Speak for yourself, I have Cosmo and Wanda to poof me back. You however, seem very unprepared.” Timmy said.

“We are not going to leave Jimmy stranded in the past.” Wanda scolded.

“Thank you Wanda. I came unprepared because you ran here with no warning.” Jimmy said.

“You saw my scheming face.” Timmy shrugged. “You were warned.”

“Not the point.” Jimmy groaned. “Let’s go find James.” He started walking.

“Who’s James?” Timmy jogged up to him. That jog became a walk, matching Jimmy’s pace.

“Future me, I don't want to say future Jimmy a hundred times.”

“Oh. That makes sense. Do we call my future self something else too?”

“Thomas does sound like a more grown up name.”

“Thomas?!” Timmy stopped. “You think my name is Thomas? Ew.”

Jimmy smiled at his friend’s distress in the slowly growing distance between them.

Timmy caught up to him, “Why are we even friends? I thought you knew me.”

“If your full name isn't Thomas then what is it?”

“Timothy.”

Jimmy snorted, “Timothy? Timothy Turner.”

“Timothy Tiberius Turner.”

“Your dimension is obsessed with alliteration.”

“Nope, just my parents.”

Jimmy opened his mouth, ready to insult them. He closed it. Timmy didn't mention his parents often. Though from the little bits of information that Jimmy has been able to gather from context clues and through interacting with them, they didn't seem like the best.

Yet Timmy was still fond of them. He got defensive if anyone implied otherwise. It wasn't worth the petty squabble.

They kept walking.

“So what are we looking for?” Timmy broke the silence.

“James’ house. I saw it briefly before we went.”

“You remember it?”

“Barely.” Jimmy sighed. “I know it had a flag outside.”

“Like that?” Timmy pointed to a rainbow flag.“What country is that?”

“No country has that flag.” Jimmy said.

It’s odd. He didn’t understand why he would have a rainbow flag outside his residence at all.

“I’m pretty sure there’s a country with that flag.” Cosmo said.

The two boys and the two squirrels went up the porch. Timmy knocked on the door.

"Honey, I told you to remember your keys-" James opened the door and took a double take. Wheels seemed to turn in his head before he looked down to stare at the boys. "Not you two again."

"Again?" Jimmy asked. This was the first time he had gone to this version of the future.

Timmy went inside. "Sweet place you got."

"He says that every time." James rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to follow Timmy in.

"Every time?” Jimmy asked. Alarm bells were starting to go off in his head. “Have we been here before?"

James stepped to the side, “Just come on in." He gestured into the house, a tired yet soft smile appeared. Jimmy doesn't think he’s ever worn that expression before.

Before the future was alluring and full of promise. It was supposed to be exciting. Now that he was there faced with an older version of himself made things feel different.

It made it real.

One day he was going to have all of this. Success wasn't a question, it was a guarantee.

Something would happen that would make him wear this emotion so easily on his face. That was scary, because he had no idea what would cause it.

He stepped inside, regardless of his misgivings. It was his portal that brought Timmy here and he was going to bring him back to the past. Possibly kicking and screaming.

The inside was bigger than he expected it to be. There was a living room to the left. Timmy was already taking everything all in. The walls were a rich rusty color, and a light green rug contrasted the rich black couch and loveseat. They had soft pink pillows on top with cute little hearts. One pillow was full of rainbow hearts, which seemed like an odd design choice.

Little trinkets lined the fireplace. Jimmy… Begrudgingly admitted to himself that he was too short to see the top but he could see the edge of a snowglobe that said Dimmsdale. Something else seemed to have Phantom’s logo on a plush of some kind? Merch perhaps? Following that line of logic, there must also be something from Bikini Bottom, but there were more than three items on the mantel. A hint of new members in the future? Fascinating.

His Nobel Peace Prizes were on full display on a different shelf, the same ones he saw when Sheen and Carl were first looking at their futures months ago.

It was sleek yet cozy. Lived in, but there were no pictures hung up. Which seemed like an odd detail, or lack of one.

Timmy stood on the other side of the room closer to the television. At least that’s what Jimmy assumed it was. It looked a lot flatter than any television he had ever seen. It sat on a television stand, books lining the shelves below. Classic literature mixed with... What the hell was a Crimson Chin? Why did his future self have volumes of it?

“What’s this?” Timmy picked up a controller.

“It’s the newest gaming system, I got it as a favor in advance.” James said.

“Really? Cool!”

Jimmy turned to his future self with suspicion. “Since when did we get into video games and comic books?” He asked. Sure, Jimmy liked video games, but not to this extent.

“My spouse’s hobbies.” James said.

Jimmy eyebrows raised in surprise at that. He got married? But- His true love was science!

As if his future self knew exactly what he was thinking, he raised his hand up from his pocket, showing off a wedding ring with a comforting smile.

Timmy shook the controller, still in his own little world, “How do I start playing?”

“Nope.” James snatched the controller out of Timmy’s hand. “It’s supposed to be a surprise gift for my partner.”

Jimmy liked using his big vocabulary but this seemed excessive. Why wasn’t his future self just saying wife? He hadn’t even dropped one pronoun, almost carefully sticking to gender-neutral words.

"Are Cindy and I still married in this version of the future?" Jimmy asked.

"No." James replied, almost annoyed. “You really think Cindy is into video games and comics? She’s too busy being a senator.”

“Cindy and I aren’t married. This is truly the best future!” Jimmy started doing a little dance. “Wait, she’s a senator?”

"Enough about Nerd Brain over there, I wanna know about my future!" Timmy whined.

"For the last time Turner, we are in future Retroville. Not future Dimmsdale." Jimmy turned to James. "Tell me we aren't still friends in the future."

"That's one way of putting it." James stifled a laugh.

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, "I highly doubt I've always been this vague."

“I’m being vague for a reason. We need to get you two back, the past is already changing with every second you stay here, and I’d like the present to stay exactly how it is." James said.

"Even in the future you're still so pushy and demanding." Timmy pulled a face. “Can I play at least one game?”

“No.”

The door opened with a squeal of hinges, and a stranger walked in.

"Hey Handsome," he said, his face obscured by armfuls of grocery bags.

"T- Babe! Hi. I think you should stay outside." James said.

"You seem tense." The stranger put the groceries down on the counter.

Jimmy noticed the buck teeth first, then the wedding ring. The same one his future self wore.

His heart stopped.

No.

His worst fears were realized when Future Timmy pulled Future Jimmy closer, the same way his dad would his mom. Then Future Jimmy and Future Timmy started kissing. The world slowed down. Dramatic classical music blasted in Jimmy's mind.

His future lips… Were on future Turner's.

"I think I'm going to faint. Or vomit. Or both." Timmy fell backwards.

Jimmy couldn't stop staring. How did this happen? What? When? Why? How? What?!

The future was still messed up. That was the only logical reason.

Future Timmy pulled away from his future self. Good. He needs to stay away. Very far away. A separate dimension far away. Several dimensions.

“Woops. Didn't see those two.” Timothy rubbed the back of his neck.

“I always tell you, you need to be more aware of your surroundings. How many times have I had to save your sorry butt?” James raised an eyebrow.

“I lost count.” Timothy shrugged. “Besides you love my butt, Sweetbuns.”

James laughed.

Jimmy and Timmy cried.

“Make it stop.” Jimmy groaned.

“This is a fate worse than an afternoon with Vicky.” Timmy sat up.

“How did this even happen?” Jimmy asked.

"I was around eighteen? There was a party in Retroville. Do you remember who was throwing it?" Timothy turned to James.

"Libby, I think. Her parties were the only ones worth going to."

"Oh right. So Jimmy and I get there together, and there's booze. I want to try some but Jimmy starts being a buzzkill so I trick him into drinking."

"Cool!" Timmy said.

"Wait, how?" Jimmy asked.

"Reverse psychology with a pinch of peer pressure." James sighed. "Timmy isn’t as dumb as he seems. He can actually be quite clever, when he wants to be."

Timothy smiled, "Aw-"

"I'm still mad at you for that." James threw a soft elbow into Timothy’s ribs.

Timothy let out a soft oof before wrapping an arm around James’ waist. "It's been like ten years! Plus we're married."

Jimmy covered his eyes. This was not happening.

"I don't see how that is relevant." James said.

"Anyway, drunk Jimmy is an absolute riot.” An evil little smile grew on Timothy’s face. “He was starting to strip, getting really cuddly, he tried to get in some fights, he started crying over a penny."

Timothy started to laugh, and James, mock offended, shoved hands at his shoulders to push him away, which only made Timothy laugh harder, though his arm stayed firmly around James’ waist.

Timmy made a disgusted face and Jimmy nodded in agreement. How could they have fallen so far? How could they have fallen for each other? One night drinking caused this??? Yeah, no. He was swearing off alcohol. Forever. The loss of brain cells from drinking clearly affected him.

James playfully rolled his eyes, "I was being set up. Everyone was trying to get me drunk!"

"Because you never got drunk before. It was... Incredible.” Timothy’s eyes brimmed with emotion as he stared ats James. “But then he started vomiting, and that was not so great. I barely drank so it was up to me to take care of him. Then Jimmy starts going on and on about how great I am and then drops the bomb that he loves me, then passes out."

Jimmy clenched his fists, cheeks burning. "Why would I even be so foolish as to drink alcohol?"

“I got curious and Timmy really knows how to push my buttons.” James said.

“That’s not the only thing I can do.” Timothy smirked.

“Babe.” James, honest to Einstein, giggled.

“Ahhh!” Jimmy covered his eyes. He did not want to think about the idea that one day in the future he was going to have intercourse with Timmy ‘two plus five equals six, right?’ Turner. “I need to bleach my eyes and sand down my ears.”

“Same.” Timmy gagged.

Jimmy sat down on the couch. This was too much information, and he really loved information. Not this kind. Never this kind again.

It was utterly mind boggling. How could he- When?

"Wait, what about us? When did we- You fall for Timmy?" Jimmy asked.

James sighed. "Thirteen."

"What?" Both Timmys said.

"Thirteen? That’s two years from now." Jimmy started panicking.

There could be no way in hell that he falls in love with Timmy Turner in about two years' time. Yet the proof was in front of him. A life, domestic and cozy with that insane buck-toothed boy.

"Wait, you never told me you liked me for that long." Timothy said.

"It's cheesy." James said. "It was on a recon mission. So we were gathering information on some mountains. There was a rock slide and Timmy pulled me out of the way."

"That's it?" Timmy tilted his head. "That's kind of boring, if that's all it takes then I guess I won't save you from any falling rocks."

"I don't need saving from falling rocks." Jimmy said.

"Clearly you do." Timmy poked him in the arm.

"Do not! Are there any rocks here?"

"I wish-"

Jimmy covered Timmy's mouth.

"I fall in love with him? Him? That can't be right... So he saved my life. We save each other all the time. Why was that any different?" Jimmy pleaded to know.

"It just was." A soft smile appeared on James’ face. "I was so grateful when Timmy pulled me out of the way. So many times I had to be the one to think of a way out of the situation, it felt so rare whenever someone else had to do that for me. Yet here Timmy was, constantly doing that. It felt inevitable…"

Jimmy's chest started to feel weird. His hand got wet- Damnit, did Timmy just lick his hand?!

"Ew!" Jimmy ripped his hand away.

“You didn’t let me talk!” Timmy glared.

“You deserve a muzzle.” Jimmy wiped his hand on Timmy’s shirt.

Timmy screamed.

“Aw, we are so cute.” Timothy cooed. “Wait- Do you have Cosmo, Wanda, and Poof on you?”

“What’s a poof?” Timmy turned to his future self.

Cosmo and Wanda winked into existence over Timmy’s head.

“You remember us?” Wanda’s eyes widened.

“Neat!” Cosmo smiled.

Timothy gasped, almost tearing up. “Yeah, Jorgen didn’t take my memories. Saving the multiverse and Fairy World a few times gives you that sort of privilege.”

“We save Fairy World? Multiple times? Us?” Timmy asked. It didn't seem like that far of a stretch. After all, he was on a team dedicated to keeping the multiverse safe.

“Yup. My Cosmo and Wanda retired but they still visit me every so often. I guess Poof hasn’t- I should keep that one a surprise.” Timothy zipped his lips.

“Cool! I get to keep my memories of Cosmo and Wanda.”

“You were going to forget about them?” Jimmy asked.

“It’s…” Timmy rubbed the back of his neck, looking away. “It’s a story for another time.”

Jimmy eyed his friend, “What do you mean-”

“Who wants cookies?” Timothy clasped his hands, breaking the tension.

“Me!” Timmy got up and ran to the grocery bags, ravaging through them.

Timothy whistled with fake innocence. Jimmy turned to his future self but James only put his hands up.

Whatever. He’ll confront Turner about it later.

“What on Earth possessed you to fall in love with him?” Jimmy gestured to the two Timmys. The fear ran through this heart. There were two of them. Over there, bonding over cookies. The holograms were buzzing with energy.

How the world hadn’t exploded yet was beyond him.

“I’ve spent the last twenty years asking myself that every same question. Why him?” James grabbed a cookie and passed it over to Jimmy. “Long story short; he makes me happy.” He shrugged.

“He’s nothing but a nuisance that causes problems for everyone else to deal with.” Jimmy grabbed the cookie and bit into it angrily.

“We did that a lot as a kid too.”

“Wha- Did not!” Jimmy covered his mouth trying not to let the crumbs fall onto the floor.

James pulled up his hand and started counting off different incidents they were responsible for, “Pants, aliens, nanobots, the N-men, evil clone-”

“Okay.”

“Addictive candy, permanent sickness, rapid aging, I can keep going.” James gave a mischievous smile.

“We fixed all of those issues.”

“We also caused them.”

A rebuttal was on the tip of Jimmy’s tongue.

“Oh my God-” Timothy pushed his younger self out of the way to get over to the gaming system. “Is this?”

“Hey!” Timmy pouted, on the floor.

“It’s exactly what you think it is.” James said.

“It’s not even out yet.” Timothy was completely mesmerized.

“I know. I’m the best.” James put his arms around Timothy’s waist. “I was going to set it up before you got back but I was interrupted.” James glared at the kids.

“If you’d opened that up without me getting to hear you go on and on about the latest advancements in gaming I would've divorced you.” Timothy kissed James on the cheek.

“You should divorce anyway.” Timmy said in between bites. The crumbs fell onto the wooden floor.

“Overruled.” Timothy smiled. They began kissing again.

Jimmy ripped his gaze away from them. Maybe Dictator Libby wasn’t the bad future. Maybe this was the bad future. “Alright. That’s enough.” Timmy stood up. “Cosmo and Wanda, I wish we were back in Jimmy’s lab in our own time!”

---

When they got back to the lab they stood in silence. There was a lot to unpack.

"So, we get married in the future." Timmy started off, breaking the awkward silence.

"Don't remind me.” Jimmy held his head in his hands. “This is somehow worse than that future where I was married to Cindy."

"Hey! I don't exactly want to get married to you either, calling you Handsome and Sweetbuns." Timmy shivered.

Jimmy covered his ears. "Please stop talking!"

"I can't stop thinking about it!"

"Neither can I!"

"Agh."

"Aghggh!"

They glared at each other.

Jimmy could never and would never fall in love with Timmy Turner. He simply refused it.

It was still impossible to wrap his head around it. This was coming from a boy genius who could understand anything.

How could their lives ever lead to marriage? They could barely agree in the present. It made no logical sense. It made less than no sense. It made negative sense.

Wanda and Cosmo transformed back into their default fairy forms.

“Oh come on, marriage isn't the worst thing in the world. Right sweetie?” She smiled at her husband.

“Marrying Wanda was one of the best decisions I ever made,” Cosmo simpered.

“Aww,” Wanda cooed.

"It might work out for you two, but for Timmy and I marriage is completely illogical. I cannot believe my future self not only entertained the idea but went forward with it. At least in a heterosexual-"

"Pfft.” Timmy interrupted. “You said sex."

Cosmo giggled along with Timmy.

“Oh stop it you two,” Wanda said and they stopped.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, "In a male-female relationship there is at least the possibility of bearing offspring."

"Offspring?" Timmy titled his head.

"A baby." Jimmy explained.

"Oh. Yeah no, I can't have a baby.”

"I can!" Cosmo chimed in.

Jimmy and Timmy stared at him. Apparently this was also new news to Timmy. It only adds to the theory that perhaps Turner got the holograms from somewhere else.

Wanda only nodded in confirmation.

"I'm not addressing that. In a homo-" Jimmy groaned. "A male-male relationship, I could see the potential benefits-"

"See, that's why you're gay in the future." Timmy said.

"WE ARE BOTH GAY IN THE FUTURE!" Jimmy, honest to God, wanted to lunge at Turner.

"Lalalalala!" Timmy covered his ears. "Cosmo, Wanda, I wish I couldn't hear Jimmy."

The two holograms did as they were told. They raised their wands, and beams of light with a shower of little sparkles fell from them.

One day Jimmy was going to pop Turner like a balloon. Preferably before their wedding. Scratch that, their wedding day would never happen because Turner would be dead.

"Real mature, Turner." Jimmy shook his head and crossed his arms. “Can you tell him that I said we need to talk about this?”

“Jimmy says he thinks you should still talk to him.” Cosmo said.

“Nope.” Timmy turned away from Jimmy. “I’m going to ignore him for the rest of my life.”

“Timmy says-”

“I can still hear him Cosmo.” Jimmy cut him off. Cosmo frowned. The hologram was only trying to help. “Thank you though.”

“Timmy, you can't ignore Jimmy forever.” Wanda said.

“Yes, I can.” Timmy crossed his arms. “Watch me.”

Jimmy walked in front of him, “You’re still in my lab!”

Timmy closed his eyes and turned in another direction.

Jimmy groaned, “I can’t believe my future self would ever agree to marrying you!”

“Jokes on you, Fudgehead. I can't even hear you.” Timmy stuck his tongue out at Jimmy.

Jimmy started violently shaking Turner.

Wanda pointed her wand at Jimmy and dragged him to the other side of the lab.

“Aw, I hate seeing couples fight.” Cosmo said.

“We’re not a couple!” The two kids shouted.

“Oh no, they’re divorcing.” Cosmo grabbed his wife in fear. “Wanda, we have to fix this.” He shook her.

“They aren't even married yet!” Wanda pushed Cosmo off of her. She looked back at the two boys in front of her. “Err- Will be? Time travel is tricky.”

“I do not want to get married. No way, especially not to peanut skull over there.” Timmy said.

There had to be a way to get out of this situation. He just needed to think, think, t h i n k.

Brain blast.

“What if we just forget?” Jimmy thought aloud to himself. He started grabbing materials to make a device to forget.

“Forget? Uh, are you sure that’s a good idea kiddo?” Wanda asked.

“I’m very forgetful. I forgot where I put my lawn gnome the other day.” Cosmo said.

Jimmy spread out the materials and started working on the device, “If we forget then we can live without the burden of knowing our future selves fates.”

“Wait, what is Jimmy doing?” Timmy looked back and forth between the three of them. “I wish I could hear Jimmy again.”

Cosmo and Wanda raised their wands. The “wish” came true.

“You’ve finally come to your senses.” Jimmy said flatly.

“What were you saying before?” Timmy asked.

“We clearly don't like knowing we’re married, so let’s change that.” Jimmy started putting the pieces together. “I can build an amnesia ray-” “I saw one back over there.” Timmy pointed in a random direction with a strange amount of conviction.

“I don’t remember building such a thing.” Jimmy scratched his head, putting down the pieces. “Of course you wouldn’t remember. It’s an amnesia ray. Duh.” Cosmo said.

He almost hated how much that made sense.

“Well, let’s grab it and forget this awful day.” Jimmy saud.

“Wait!” Timmy tackled him.

“What in the name of Einstein are you doing?” Jimmy tried to glare at Turner but that proved futile. All he could do was kick and punch the air and floor.

Timmy sat on the genius’ back, “You’re trying to entrap me in a marriage.”

“Excuse me?” Jimmy stopped.

“I know a loophole when I see one. If we forget, then we get married. If we remember, then we won't get married. You want us to get married.”

Jimmy’s jaw dropped. “What?” Darn it, he did not think of it that way. “I don’t want us to get married at all!”

Timmy narrowed his eyes. “I’m onto your games, Neutron.”

“That’s enough.” Wanda pointed her wand at the boys and pushed them to opposite sides of the lab. “You two are acting ridiculous. One, marriage isn’t something that just happens. It’s a commitment. One you make every single day. That type of love comes once in a lifetime for humans. Your future selves were deeply in love. They experienced things you’ve yet to, their decision may not make sense now but who’s to say it won’t later down the line?”

“Yuck.” Timmy made a face.

“Absolutely not.” Jimmy folded his arms defiantly.

“Which brings me to point number two, you two are children.” Wanda reminded them.

“So don’t worry so much about marriage.” Cosmo chirped.

“It’s been a long day.” Jimmy yawned. “Maybe we shouldn’t act with such haste.”

“I guess you guys are right. It’s been a crazy day. I wish we could just forget this ever happened.” Timmy sighed.

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Turner-”

“Wait!” Timmy yelled.

Cosmo’s wand flashed.

---

It was one of those rare days where it was quiet in the lab. Jimmy worked on some projects that he had been avoiding. Carl and Sheen were both independently busy. The multiverse was quiet, well... Aside from one boy with gigantic teeth.

"Jimmy, I'm bored." Timmy Turner said.

"And that is my problem because...?" Jimmy asked as he screwed in a piece for his working prototype for a new communication device.

"Because- Woah!"

Jimmy turned around. It was him but taller? Him as an adult.

Future Jimmy shot a laser at Chrono Arch. It exploded into nothingness.

"What are you doing?" Jimmy ran over to the newly destroyed portal.

"You two keep going into the future, get freaked out, decide to forget, go back into the future, get freaked out- It's annoying. Cute the first few times, but I'm at my limit." Future Jimmy threw a small box towards Timmy. "Have fun."

Timmy caught the box, "Decimator 2: Destiny's Revenge. Cool! This isn't even out yet."

"He's so easily entertained." Future Jimmy said, with a slight fondness.

"Do you remember the last time he had a copy of Decimator?" Jimmy glared at his future self, trying to get a hold of Timmy but he already ran away to cause chaos.

"Of course I do, you can handle it. You always do." Future Jimmy ruffled his hair.

"Hey!" Jimmy tried to fix his hair.

"Take care. Don't try to kill each other." Future him punched something onto his wrist device. They made eye contact. “I shouldn't say anything but, good luck. I promise it will be worth the wait.”

“What’s worth the wait?” Jimmy asked.

Future Jimmy only glanced at Timmy.

Before Jimmy could ask what he meant but his future self already left.

“Uh… Jimmy. I think I broke something.” Timmy held up the broken prototype Jimmy was working on not even three minutes ago.

Oh.

Oh, a thousand deaths for Timmy Turner. His future self was definitely talking about planning the perfect method to get rid of one of the most idiotic children he ever had to meet. That had to be it. There was no other logical explanation. Turner’s death would be wonderful and it would be worth the wait.

#jimmytimmy #jimmy neutron #timmy turner #my writing

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datesinredink · 6 months ago

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I won’t lie, I completely forgot that I actually planned on posting writing on this blog- aghhh I’m one of the most inconsistent people alive, god help this outcast please. Here’s some stuff I wrote while listening to the ruikasa fixer cover. Hopefully since school’s over for the summer I’ll remember to write more! Might do Tsukasa later.

General yandere Rui headcanons

Yandere type: Monopoly main type with stalker and manipulative subtypes

I think you’d know Rui either as one of his middle school friends or as a WxS fan

If you were friends in middle school, I think he’d be less intense in his obsession. You’ve already stuck with him for this long, so he has less doubts of whether or not you’ll leave him.

On the other hand, if you meet him through his shows with wxs, he’s much more paranoid about you abandoning him, especially if you also end up getting close with the other members.

He doesn’t realize his feelings for you at first, though his friends probably notice. It’s likely one of them teasing him about you that makes him finally piece things together.

Anyway, I think he would’ve stalked you throughout school and occasionally outside of that even before he realized he loved you, but now that he knows, he’s upping the ante

Any room with good hiding spots have cameras in them, he’s hacking your devices, giving you little robotic gifts that, while cute and fun, also have listening bugs.

Speaking of gifts, you now have a horde of them. Anything from little figurines that throw confetti, to your own robo-you if you’re shy like Nene.

He brings you along to his rehearsals. He does show off a bit, but it’s in line enough with his usual dramatics that it’s only obvious if you’re looking for it.

Unfortunately, Rui tends to be Extremely Jealous. He is NOT a fan of you getting close with the others. I think he’d believe Tsukasa to be the biggest threat, since he can be genuinely charming, followed by Emu, then Nene, since he’s known her for a while and trusts that she won’t hurt him by getting in his way.

I don’t think he would resort to killing other people, it’s just not in his character. I think his method of driving people away from you would be leaning into his reputation as an unhinged freak so that people stop talking to you since he’s pretty much glued to your side whenever he can be. This might result in some injury to others, but usually nothing too bad. He won’t go further than a medium sized cut or a particularly bad bruise.

The main motive behind his obsession is a fear of abandonment. He’s been so alone and isolated from his peers for so long that the first time someone he’s in love with doesn’t think he’s creepy (before the stalking, anyway) he can’t help but latch on to you and never want to let go.

He’s entirely aware that what he’s doing and feeling isn’t normal or sane, but at the same time, he doesn’t really care. Even if you do find out, he’s been called a maniac for almost all of his life, so even if it stings a bit more, what’s one more person? If push comes to shove, he could just stage an incident to get you expelled and then keep you in his basement with him and his inventions.

#yandere pjsekai #pjsekai #rui kamishiro x reader #rui kamishiro #yandere #sorry if the formatting is weird or smth my computer broke and I’m writing using my iPad now #if it looks funky that’s just how it’s gonna look #hopefully I got his characterization right #or. as close as I could with a yandere au ig.#this was all done in one go so I haven’t proofread this #something which will likely become a trend because I die when I look at my own stuff #Strawberry's basket

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weirdestbooks · 3 months ago

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The Shot Heard Around the World Chapter 10

One Hell of a Tea Party (Wattpad | Ao3)

Table of Contents | Prev | Next

May 1773

Thirteen sighs in resignation as he read about the new act. The East India Company would be allowed to bring their tea to his land without paying any of the Townshend Acts. But Thirteen still has to pay them. Thirteen’s people still have to pay them. They still have to pay unfair taxes, while this stupid, idiotic tea company doesn't have to pay any taxes.

It was a monopoly! Thirteen’s merchants would suffer, and his economy would suffer.

'It's like these taxes are here to hurt us. Everyone benefits but us.'

'We're being used.'

Thirteen’s resignation turned to anger as he tore up the paper. This...this stupid tax! Stupid everything! Thirteen helped fight in a war for his father, and this is what he gets in return.

'Did you fight that war for your Father or your people?'

No...Thirteen fought to help his father and his people. He fought...He fought...it was for...

'Your people are more important than your Father. They are you.'

It…it was for his people. Thirteen made that decision a long ago. Thirteen would pick his people if he had to choose between his father and his people. Whatever response they made to this unjust, unfair tax, Thirteen would stand by them.

'We don't like the taxes, and neither do they. Britain may be your Father, but he isn't on your side.'

'These taxes are hurting you.'

'So let's do something about them.'

——————————————————————

December 16, 1773

A ship filled with tea arrived in Boston in late November. A meeting decided that the ship had to return without paying import duty. The other colonies had managed to send their tea ships back to England, but Boston was having difficulties.

"Governor Hutchinson refuses to let the ship leave." Francis Rotch, the owner of the Dartmouth, announced to Thirteen and the rest of the crowd, waving around the note he had received from the governor.

'Seriously? We don't want a dammed monopoly in these colonies!'

'Is Governor Hutchison still mad over us burning his house down? What a childish man, it wasn’t that bad.’

The air in the building changed as the anger of Thirteen’s people grew, as his anger grew. They had another plan that they had come up with during these meetings, a plan that, when suggested, seemed too radical. Nevertheless, Thirteen and the Bostonians still made plans for it, just in case.

If they weren't going to send the tea back to London, they would destroy it all.

'You can't have a monopoly if you have nothing to sell.'

'What if it goes wrong? What if we have a repeat of the Boston Massacre?'

'The soldiers aren't in the city. We'll be unopposed.'

"This meeting can do nothing further to save the country." Samual Adams declared as the meeting continued. But the air was restless. The Sons of Liberty and Thirteen knew what the backup plan was if they couldn't send the tea back. They wanted to do something to stop this. Then, people began leaving the meeting house.

"Who knows how tea will mingle with salt water?" Someone cried, quickly followed by another shout.

"Boston Harbor, a teapot tonight!"

"Wait! The meeting isn't over!" Sam said as more people began to leave, trying to reclaim control of the meeting. Thirteen stood up, and Sam put his hand on his shoulder.

"Thirteen, you can't go. You'll be recognized. Stay here," he said. Thirteen smiled.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I have to do this." Thirteen told him, "Make sure you have an alibi."

Sam nodded, and Thirteen made his way out of the meeting house, heading to the house of someone who had prepared disguises. Thirteen hid his flag by ducking into an alley and changing to his human form.

England would recognize his face, but no one else should.

Thirteen arrived at the house and was let in. He saw people already preparing their disguises, starting with their faces. A woman was also there helping the men disguise their faces. They were also putting on disguises meant to imitate the native's clothes.

"Like the disguises? We picked them to show that we identify with this land, Massachusetts and America, not Britain." One of the men who saw Thirteen looking at the disguises said. Thirteen smiled.

"I know," Thirteen told him, a strange sense of pride overtaking him.

'Obviously, we were going to pick something that shows we are proud of where we live.'

'Especially since the British seem to enjoy pretending we aren't British citizens and use it to decrease our rights.'

Thirteen prepared his disguise, and after making sure everyone else was ready, they headed out to Griffin's Wharf, where the ships were. Some civilians had followed us and were watching. Thirteen gripped his hatchet tighter in his hand. A small part of him felt guilty for doing this.

'Don't. You're doing the right thing. This tea cannot remain here.'

Thirteen knew that, but it still felt like he was betraying his father.

'Isn't he betraying you by allowing harmful taxes to be placed on you?'

'Don't worry about betraying him. He's already been given enough warnings that your people are at the end of their rope.'

Thirteen was so conflicted. He felt like his allegiance was being torn in half. He wanted to be loyal to his people and his father, but here he was, committing what his father would see as treason with the people his father hated. Who was truly right?

'Your people. They focus on what's best for you. Britain focuses on what's best for him.'

'This isn't the time for second thoughts. You're committing treason. You've committed treason. Stop letting personal sentiments get in the way of doing what's right for you.'

Thirteen let out a shaky sigh. He knew there was no going back and that this was what he had to do...but he always doubted everything. But there was no time for that. They had a mission to complete. There would be time to question where his allegiances would lie later.

They arrived at the wharf and made their way onto the ships they had been assigned earlier. Thirteen went onto the Eleanor, the ship on which he was assigned to destroy the tea. The crates were too heavy to lift on their own, so they began to break them open.

Thirteen used his hatchet to cut the cloth covering the crate before breaking through the lid, cutting through the small lead lining that protected the tea from water bugs. Thirteen then took off his hat and used it to scoop out a bunch of tea leaves before going back above deck to throw them overboard. He repeated that until he could carry the crate out and throw it overboard.

'This is going to take forever.'

The men continued to break apart boxes and throw them overboard, going as quickly as possible. There was a nervous energy in the air, as none of them wanted to be caught by the soldiers.

None of them wanted a repeat of the Boston Massacre. Or the Battle of Golden Hill. Or any of the countless brawls between the colonists and the soldiers.

After almost three hours, they finally finished throwing all the tea overboard.

'That was the hardest thing we've ever done.'

'We just threw about 300, 400-pound crates into the harbor. Did you think it was going to be easy?'

Thirteen looked out at the harbor, seeing bobbing tea crates, wood pieces, and faint clumps of tea leaves. He was apprehensive about what the morning would bring.

————————————————————

December 17, 1773

Thirteen looked out onto the harbor, which had turned brown due to the tea in it. Thirteen stood further away from Griffin's Wharf, where the soldiers would go. Thirteen knew they wouldn't recognize him without my flag, but he was still nervous and didn't want to risk it. After all, Thirteen had committed two different acts of treason.

Thirteen felt someone put a hand on his shoulder, and he turned his head around, seeing England standing behind him. England looked angry, although Thirteen couldn't tell if England thought he participated or not.

‘Oh, hells.'

"Thirteen," he said. Thirteen knocked England’s hand off his shoulder before facing him.

"Hello. How do you like that teapot?" Thirteen asked mockingly, gesturing towards the harbor. England scowled.

"What did you do?" He asked. Thirteen smiled.

"The only thing I've done is protect my people's rights. Everything I've done is no worse than what you've done.”

"You're coming back to our house," England said, reaching out to grab Thirteen’s arm, but he pushed England’s hand away.

"Like hell I am. You think I want to live with the man that shot me?" Thirteen said. Guilt flashed through England's eyes as he pulled his hand back.

"I'm so sorry, Thirteen. I never meant to shoot you."

'Bullshit.'

'But you did mean to shoot one of my people.'

'If we weren't shot, England wouldn't care about the people who died. He only feels back because it's us.'

"Empty words. You should have never been firing a weapon into a crowd anyway." Thirteen snapped back, holding his hand above where the injury was.

"That was a riot, not a crowd, and it was an accident. If you and the other colonists hadn't started throwing things at us, it probably would have gone in a different direction." England started.

'Don't lecture us on how you can do nothing wrong. That's bullshit.'

'Right, so we started it by reacting to your soldiers hurting a child!'

Thirteen scowled, and England noticed his change in expression and changed the topic.

"Thirteen, everyone's worried about you. They haven't heard from you in three years, aside from rumors about you burning a ship," England said. Thirteen rolled his eyes.

'We burnt that ship! It deserved to burn!'

"That was on purpose. You think I want to talk to you after you shot me after you tried to blame me for the deaths of my people, England? You think I want to be around any of you after all this?" Thirteen snapped. England stepped back after Thirteen called him by name, shocked.

"You called me England." He said, his voice quiet.

"You think I'm going to call you uncle after you shot me? No. And I did throw the tea in the harbor. But what are you going to do about it? You need two witnesses to accuse me of a crime; not everyone who participated in that will tell. We're not all idiots like Mr. Akeley." Thirteen said.

"Thirteen. I...I...what happened to you?" England said.

'We realized we were being used.'

'We realized you don't care about us.'

'We realized you care more about money and control than your nephew.'

'Our eyes have been opened to the world, and we realize that not everything you say is correct.'

'We've started making our own decisions.'

"You. And Father. And all of those stupid taxes and acts. You're pushing my people to the brink of bankruptcy! You're taxes are hurting my economy! YOU ARE HURTING ME! I'm just responding accordingly." the Colonies said. They raised their fist to swing it at England, but before that happened, something hit thei–Thirteen’s head and knocked him to the ground, his vision blurry.

What just happened?

—————————————————————

England looked at the soldier who had hit Thirteen with his gun and then at Thirteen, who was lying dazed on the ground.

"Why did you do that?" England demanded. This would only give Thirteen more things to whine about and convince him to further side with the criminals and rioters.

"Sorry, sir, but he looked like he was about to attack you." The soldier said.

"I can handle myself. Work on finding out you threw all this tea into the harbor!" England ordered. He wouldn't rat out Thirteen, as it would be bad if it looked like Britain couldn’t control his colony by that much. It was clear that something had happened to him. If Thirteen had been with the Sons of Liberty for the past three years, they could have twisted his views on things.

Or... no. England wasn't going to consider that opinion. Thirteen would eventually fall back in line.

England would make sure of it.

#countryhumans #countryhumans england #countryhumans america #historical countryhumans #the shot heard around the world by weird #countryhumans 13 colonies

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yanderegrizzsworld · 1 year ago

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Hello! First i wanna say that your blog and your writing is soo amazing!!! I couldn't get enough reading your content!!!

And second, can i get an advise on how you blend the character's personality with yandere?

Everytime i wrote about a certain character it usually ended up as ooc and i hate it it. I couldn't pinpoint their personality and that what tick me off.

Hello to you too dear! It brings me such delight to know you enjoy my content, I can't get enough of writing for it!

More under the cut cause I wrote more than I expected to

How to blend a character's personality with yandere behavior is different to many writers. Some don't really explore the character's personality & just write them as the traditional, straight-forward (perhaps superficial is the better word to use? Idk) way yanderes are usually portrayed in media, which usually includes them being delusional, obsessive &/or possessive, or all three! With some stalking here or there. Don't get me wrong, I don't see an issue with writing yanderes like this, I've seen plenty of posts that are written like this that I absolutely love!

But if you're asking how I write yanderes, or more specifically, how I blend both character traits & yandere behavior, I try to watch/read anything that's canonical about them (sometimes multiple times, though I've sometimes had moments where I'd go off of memory) & I'd try to find traits about them that is shown to us, both good & bad, & slightly amplify this traits. To me, when I add yandere behavior to a character, I'm more so looking for patterns in a character by either manners, how they perceive themselves &/or others through a romantic & a platonic lense. A general example, if I notice a character is quite cynical, it could mean that while they might hesitation to communicate or spend time with us for long periods of time, they'll still think quite highly of us, yet so lowly of others, thinking that everyone else wants to use you for their own selfish means. Or perhaps they're the caregiver type? Maybe by amplifying this aspect of a character, it might lead to them having some form of a savior complex & it'll make them believe that you need their aid & guide 24/7, where they might not be able to focus on anything if they aren't sure you're okay & that nothing harmed you.

I'll use a few Clone High characters as examples as it's captured 85% of my attention (hope you don't mind!)

There's JFK & Cleopatra, who are both very clearly shown (atleast in the first season) as selfish individuals who view the concept of popularity & self-image as a top priority (Cleo more than JFK) & since selfishness can come from ego, which they both have, it wouldn't be a stretch for them both to be monopoly & controlling yanderes (more so Cleopatra), wanting our attention on them constantly & doing whatever they ask whenever & wherever. Though they both do show good traits about themselves like JFK genuinely caring for others like Ponce & Cleo showing some form of empathy towards Joan & it's moments like this show that they're more than one-dimensional characters (while it is technically moments & not traits, it still show another side of them in a positive light) of which we can imagine that if there were a change in our behavior, both would worry (Cleo more so because it'd make it more difficult to boss them around & JFK out of genuine care)

There's also Confucius, who reveals in ep 3 that he only wished to be viral/famous out of friendship & since we can speculate that his family doesn't pay him much attention & as he states "always forget to pack him" (in ep 7) I interpret that he probably seeks genuine companionship from anyone & wants someone to genuinely care about him. With this, I imagine that if he were to be a yandere, he'd probably have some clingy & obsessive traits, with (maybe) some wrong-idea traits along with it, viewing anything you do to him whether it be returning something back to him & simply asking him how he is, he'll instead see it as an invite to be friends.

Or maybe Topher Bus, who's clearly shown as an outcast with practically no friends (besides from Abe maybe?) & seems like a overall terrible person. Though he does seem to want to fit in, there's close to no denying that others view him as odd/weird & that his poor social skills & reserved personality only make it worse & leads to others ignoring him & him essentially using the internet as a way to cope with his loneliness. A character like this as a yandere would desire a friendship free of judgment & flaws, instead with acceptance & compassion, yet doesn't know how to get it without the possibility of weirding us out. Due to him not being a pleasant individual, I wouldn't put it past him to drive others away from you just so you have him as your only "friend" & would expect you to stick by his side despite his less admirable actions.

One way I'd say to blend yandere behavior with character personality is to use your favorite character as a starting point, as you'll most likely know & understand their traits, mannerisms & attitude the most & amplify (as much as you want) those traits. Don't worry if a character feels ooc, especially if said character has a multitude of medias, each with it's own different interpretation of the character (even if such interpretation is small) & if you feel like two or more characters are too similar in their yandere behavior, that means that you're catching onto a pattern in their demeanor!

TL;DR: I blend yandere with personality by observing & taking (mental) note of character traits (both good & bad) that I amplify in my writing. You can practice by starting with your favorite character/character that you understand well & amplify them. If you think some characters repeat, you're just catching onto a pattern in their behavior.

#grizz responds #yandere #platonic yandere #romantic yandere #writing yanderes #writing tips #not yandere writing #I answered the best I could #Hope you understood me!

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nochd · 7 months ago

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This post is about my mental health, but now I have to talk about revolutionary politics.

Above Smaills Beach in Dunedin there are gravel carparks where people used to park their vans and spend the night. Some of the locals didn't like them, because of their alleged habit of using the surrounding bush as a toilet. The Dunedin City Council offered to put up a public toilet there, but the local Community Board turned them down and asked for them to ban freedom-camping in the area instead. (The Government has since done that nationwide; I don't know whether people comply.) Dunedin has had a skate park near the Railway Station for a couple of decades now, but before that the Council fought over it for years. One particular councillor (I heard) was dead set against it, because his wife had been badly injured when a skateboarder knocked her over on the street. He managed to block the park for two or three council terms before there was finally enough fresh blood on the council to outvote him.

You see what I'm getting at, right? Once the skate park was built, the skateboarders had somewhere to skate without knocking down pedestrians. If we got public toilets at Smaills Beach, then hopefully the freedom-campers would use those rather than the bush. But this, of course, requires that skateboarders and freedom-campers be humans, not orcs. You don't compromise with orcs. You don't concede to their demands. You don't give them things, even to mitigate the harm they do; that'll just encourage them. You punish them for being orcs until they aren't there any more.

No, your side of politics is not free of this mindset. They just point it at people you mostly agree are orcs -- with, generally, similar effect on the problems they're ostensibly trying to solve.

Once you take the hatred out of politics, in theory, what remains is ideas about what will or won't make the world a better place for the people who have to live in it. No faction has a monopoly on either good or bad ideas, but in my estimation the progressive Left has the highest good-vs-bad ideas ratio of any of the sides I've personally encountered… when we can get as far as talking about ideas. We spend a lot less time than we should talking about ideas. Because although the Left has a lot of good ideas, it is bedevilled by one big bad idea, which can be paraphrased as follows: "Society is divided into two categories of people. One category benefits by exploiting and oppressing the other. Those people's driving motive is to uphold the power and privilege their category enjoys. They have no moral conscience. They cannot be reasoned with, only fought. Nothing short of eliminating them counts as progress. They are the sole cause of all social evils, so once we're rid of them all remaining problems will solve themselves." This is basically humans-vs-orcs thinking, formalized.

I'm not denying the existence of social injustice, or class struggle, or exploitation, or oppression. I'm denying the claim that these inequities can be resolved by murdering their current beneficiaries. Capitalists are not orcs. Capitalists have a lovely, mathematically elegant theory of how the greatest possible happiness is achieved for the greatest number of people if everyone trades freely without either help or hindrance from the government. This theory doesn't posit any orcs, but unfortunately it has some largish discrepancies from the way humans actually work, and capitalists in practice blame the resulting problems on orcs, namely the Left and the government. If murder isn't on the table, then at some point we're going to have to talk to politicians who are also getting talked to by our opponents. And it's hard enough to get people to rethink their existing ideas when all that's at stake is "you're going to have to admit you were wrong". It becomes vastly harder when you bring in "...and also side with the people who, up till now, have been calling you an orc".

No, there isn't some kind of barrier preventing revolutionary thinking from descending into bigotry. The last social media comment I saw beginning "Liberals all deserve to die because…" was written by a Marxist, not a conservative. One variant happens to place "biological males" in the role of the exploiter-oppressor. As well as attacking trans women, I've seen these people claim that men by definition cannot be sexually assaulted, and that eight-year-old boys enjoy watching violent pornography because it affirms their male power. All these arguments follow perfectly logically from the premise of a Marxist framework with males in the oppressor role; since they are all patent nonsense, something is wrong with that premise. Yes, this particular faction have split from the Left and lately started making common cause with racists and antisemites. But antisemitism isn't as alien to Left spaces as we would hope either, as I've seen many Jewish leftists attest in the last six months. Mostly it slips under the radar by using words like "bankers" or "global elite" instead of "Jews". I would very much like to think that it's all being sneaked in by far-right infiltrators, but of course that's my own humans-vs-orcs instinct talking. I can't prove that the calls aren't coming from inside the house. I am very carefully trying to avoid being trampled by the elephant in the room at this point. I've nothing new to add to what I've said before about the ongoing atrocities in Gaza. I will say again: it is evil to murder children no matter who's hiding behind them, and it is evil to rape women and livestream it no matter what their government did to you. What makes these actions possible on either side is the conviction that their victims are orcs.

This post is about my mental health. But I need to start by talking about Richard Dawkins.

A year or two ago now, I don't know, there was a proposition to put some elements of mātauranga Māori in the high school science curriculum. I never saw the specifics; I do know that Māori tradition holds a lot of knowledge about the natural world that can only have been gained by careful, disciplined observation. Traditional Polynesian navigation in particular is absolutely a scientific endeavour and ought to be recognised as such. Some anti-Māori organization reached out to a bunch of high-profile science promoters including Richard Dawkins, misrepresenting the situation to make it look like New Zealand high school students were going to be taught Māori mythology as science. I suppose that didn't seem all that far-fetched to people who've spent their professional lives fighting the movement to teach Genesis as science to American high school students, and a couple of them, notably Dawkins, responded with letters arguing against the proposal.

Let me be super clear: Dawkins' letter comes from a place of ignorance and gets several things profoundly wrong. But the reason this came to my attention recently is that I have a bit of work this year checking lecture notes written for students with disabilities by their peers, and one politics lecture reproduced that letter. And used a number of unkind words for Dawkins' position, some of which were fairly accurate, but the one that caught my eye was that Dawkins' view of nature (and the entire Western culture of science that he represents) was "anthropocentric". That is to say, it puts humans at the centre; nature is only valuable if it's useful to us. This is as profoundly wrong a misrepresentation of Dawkins as Dawkins' own words were of mātauranga Māori.

Richard Dawkins is the most aggressively anti-anthropocentric author I have ever encountered. Humans not being the centre of the universe is the core theme of his entire opus. Dawkins' "selfish gene" concept means that our genes make our bodies and do all the things they do, not in any sense for our benefit as humans, but purely for their own. Dawkins fixates on evolution because Homo sapiens is just one little twig on the vast and varied tree that is life on Earth. Even his contempt for religion comes from a place of "What's true is true and what isn't isn't; humans and human beliefs are not the source of reality." I could expand on that to essay length but it's not what I'm about here.

How did Richard Dawkins, a world-famous sceptic of decades' standing, fall for some bog-standard racist propaganda? And how did a politics academic, someone who presumably reads texts carefully for a living, get Dawkins' core philosophy so crashingly wrong? If you're thinking "Richard Dawkins being reactionary isn't actually all that surprising," I'm afraid in my experience it is also far from rare for a self-appointed critic of science to wander off at 180° from the point and announce they've arrived. The reason is the same in both cases. Dawkins fell for the racism because Hobson's Pledge framed mātauranga Māori as religion, thus aligning it with his ideological opponents. The politics academic misunderstands Dawkins because Dawkins' stand against mātauranga Māori aligns him with their ideological opponents.

#mental health #politics #othering #us vs them thinking #orcs #orcs do not exist #revolutionary politics #bigotry #transphobia mention #gaza mention #antisemitism mention

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acanthodii-phobia · 3 years ago

Note

hey sorry if this is so sudden but i’ve been feeling so down lately and can i just get the turtles comfort reader (they/them pls) bc they think they can’t do anything right? rottmnt as well pls

Of course! :) And I'm sorry you haven't been in the best place recently.. I hope the turtles and I can help ease your thoughts a little. Things will get better, and many things in your life will change over time - the bad is only temporary that way, even if it doesn't feel like it. Right now you're at your strongest, and I now you can and will get through it!

We believe in you. 🐢🐢🐢🐢

(RoTTMNT) Comfort Oneshots X GenderNeutral!Reader PT. 1

Each turtle bro. will focus on something a little different, but overall still what you requested. I hope that's alright. ^^ These are slightly longer than my other posts, so these oneshots will be split amongst two posts. Leo and Raph are in pt. 1, Donnie and Mikey are in pt. 2!

•

Content Warning: The topics discussed won't go into graphic detail, but if you feel like you would get upset by reading about topics dealing with depression or negative thoughts, please do not read for your own care.

•

One-shots will contain:

Y/N - Your Name

Leo:

[Comfort for feeling inadequate, worthless, uneeded & request.]

- They were crying in Leo's bedroom.

- The perfect place, they thought, for some time away from everyone. Y/N knew they were supposed to just be enjoying themselves and having fun; but they couldn't stop that irritating feeling.

- Those reoccurring thoughts of not being needed. Or wanted. The possibility of screwing everything up, and losing everyone they cared about... and it would've just been a waste of their time. Y/N just wasting everyone's time.

- The last thing they wanted was to bring down everyone's night only because of the terrible mood they were in.

- So here they were. Tucked away in the corner of Leo's bed, hugging a pillow and crying. In the dark. While the others were out there completely clueless.

- At least, that's what Y/N thought.

- Leo comes in a few minutes later searching for Y/N, while making unintentionally insensitive and boastful comments about him being better (nothing directed specifically at Y/N, though).

- Hearing Leo's comments makes Y/N cry more, and the moment he sees them he immediately rushes to their side, trying to comfort them and apologising profusely.

- He had a full grin before, expecting Y/N to reply back with another joke, but seeing them like this hurt him in a way he hadn't really felt before.

- "Hey, hey," he reaches out and holds Y/N face. He doesn't force them to look at him though - he just wants them to know he's there. "I'm so sorry, please don't cry. You know... you're just as good of a player as I am - I didn't realise you were taking Mario Monopoly so seriously."

- They shake their head, breathing deeply as they try to calm down.

- "I'm not upset over Monopoly, Leon, but thank you."

- He's confused. "Then... then why are you crying?"

- "I've just been having a lot of... uh, negative thoughts recently."

- Y/N explains how they feel inferior to him and his brothers, but specifically to Leo. They see Leo as this 'flawless, charming, and a jack-of-all-trades' kind of guy. Even though he can be occasionally rude without realising it, he's still so loved by his family and friends.

- "You're just," their breath is shaky as they push their hair back. "...so perfect. You do everything right, and even the times when you do mess up... no one hates you. I feel like I can't do anything right - I'm awkward and can't tell my left from right occasionally. You're important and valued by those who care about you, you're talented and..."

- "...I feel like I can't compete. I'm nothing like that, and I'm so envious of you." Y/N confesses, wiping their face with their sleeve.

- Leo is stunned - he didn't know they felt like this at all. His eyes never leave Y/N - his hands slowly drifting from their face - contemplating on his next move.

- He's not really 'good' at this sort of thing, but because it's Y/N, he wants to do more than just listen. Leo cautiously takes hold of the pillow that Y/N was gripping onto, and places it beside him.

- Leo then pulls Y/N closer to him, hugging them tightly.

- "You're valued by me," he whispers to them. "What you can or can't do... doesn't define your worth. Nothing can really define that. You existing and doing your best is worth enough." Leo leans back and smiles reassuringly. "...And I mess up a lot, too. I'm imperfect just like you, and that is always okay. And you know I'm never wrong~"

- He chuckles as he presses his forehead against Y/N's, reaching up slightly so his snout touches their nose and rubs them together affectionately. Y/N smiles.

- "Thanks... Leon."

Raph:

[Comfort for feeling insecure about vulnerability, thinking they should be stronger/ move on & request.]

- Y/N was watching Raph train in the dojo, admiring his strength and skills from the sideline, perched ontop of some extra mats. They had to admit, that despite his size he was very nimble and fairly noiseless on his feet. His brute force was more than expected, though.

- The guy's built like a tank - It's a very dangerous combo.

- But compared to him, Y/N was pretty clusmy and much weaker than him.

- They do their best to ignore the thoughts that come to their mind, but it was of no use. They weren't strong enough to protect themselves, nevertheless them... what were they supposed to do if they needed Y/N's help? They felt inferior to him.

- But Y/N keeps smiling as Raph shows off.

- However, he caught on quickly - he's able to tell that Y/N's smile isn't 100% genuine. He stops what he's doing immediately and faces them.

- "Hey, Shorty. You got somethin' on your mind?"

- Y/N is caught off guard. "Oh, uh... no. It's nothing."

- Raph looks at them doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

- They nod, denying it in fear of being vulnerable and being shunned away for saying otherwise. Raph gives them one last look before going back to his training.

- Eventually, Y/N quietly retreats from the dojo and runs just a bit outside of the lair to clear their mind. Everything is good for a moment, but they soon start hyperventilating and panicking.

- "What am I doing? Gosh, you look so stupid right now, why can't you control yourself? Calm down... breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe you idiot." They grip onto their shirt, breathing deeply, but it only works them up more.

- It wasn't long until it became difficult to breathe - their chest was tight and their lungs felt shriveled up and blocked off, like they just couldn't get any air in no matter how hard they tried. Tears start falling down their face.

- Raph tracks them down quickly, thanks to his brothers. Deep down, he knew Y/N needed someone right now. Anyone.

- But he really wants it to be him.

- "No, no, you guys just stay here! Everything's fine, I just need to find them. We'll back in a minute!"

- The moment he sees Y/N, his heart stops. There's a deep, weirdly empty feeling of dread that washes over him. He runs to their side without another thought, and does his best to guide them through it. He holds their hands in his, and rubs the back of them with his thumbs, whispering to them.

- "Y/N... it's okay. It's okay." He lets go of one their hands and holds the side of their face. "You're doing great... can you try some breathing exercises with me? Everything will be okay, I promise."

- They're still gripping onto their chest, crying, heaving deeply and erratically as Raph asks this, but the only thing Y/N does is nod.

- "Good," he assures them, smiling. "Now... do your best to follow me, okay? First, pinch your nose and close your mouth, bite your lip if you have to. You're going to hold your breath for a few seconds to start."

- "Perfect - you're doing great, Y/N! Now, breathe in deep through your mouth," Raph does it with them, nodding. "Good, and release through your nose."

- Once Y/N was back to a regular breathing, Raph asks them to explain what was going on, and he wasn't going to take "nothing" as an answer this time.

- Y/N stares up at him, wiping their tear-soaked face, and reluctantly states that they were scared of Raph seeing them being weak and vulnerable, and wanted to be seen as "cool" and strong like Raph is.

- "I didn't want you to hate me..." they lower their head, avoiding as much eye contact as possible. Almost immediately, they start panicking again. "Wait, oh gosh," they heave in deeply as they try to focus on anything, raising their arms instinctively - their surroundings blurring together as their mind races. "No, I'm sorry... you can't see me like this, I'm going to mess things up again like I always do, I-" Y/N tries to run away as the tears build up again, but Raph grabs their arm and pulls them back.

- "Y/N".

- He is very, very gentle with them, talking to them in a low voice. But he wasn't going to let them keep running off and avoiding him.

- "Please look at me." They try, with some struggle. "You are not messing anything up. It is okay to cry, to be vulnerable, and openly express how you feel. I'm... worried to find out who made you scared like this. You don't ever deserve to feel like that, Y/N.

- And you are strong, Y/N - your worth is never going to be based on how much you can lift or break with your fists. Your strength may or may not be in physical strength, but you being here with me - right now - your existence proves you are strong," He brings them into a hug, embracing them snugly. "In a lot of ways, that is much stronger than any physical strength I have, and I am so proud of you."

- He holds their head against him, reveling in the feeling of having them so close to him. He closes his eyes, gently leaning some of his weight onto them.

- "Thank you, Raph."

•

Thank you for requesting. :) I hope you enjoyed!

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kythed · 3 years ago

Text

“teenage wasteland.” kuroo tetsurou x reader

4:08pm.

“yo,” kuroo says, opening the door quickly after you ring the bell, “you finally made it.”

“what do you mean, finally?” you complain, kicking off your shoes and slipping inside. the dry heat of his family home’s living room assaults your bare face, a sharp contrast to the december frigidity outside. “you texted me like ten minutes ago.”

“felt like longer,” kuroo says with a crooked grin. “you want something to drink?”

“water?”

“I kinda meant something stronger, but sure, water,” kuroo says, filling a glass at the kitchen sink. you furrow your brows.

“something stronger? I’m sorry, but last time I checked we were still underage,” you say, and kuroo laughs breathily — it’s almost a giggle, actually. for the first time since arriving, you notice an odd flush in his cheeks. “oh my god. are you drunk?”

“drunk?” kuroo gasps. “no, no. tipsy, yes. drunk, no.”

“tetsurou,” you scold, reluctantly letting him pull you towards the hallway. “all those big, bad college boys can’t have been a very good influence on you.”

“I’ve had a stash of jack daniels hidden beneath my bed since sophomore year,” kuroo whispers conspiratorially. “those ‘big, bad college boys’ have nothing to do with it. speaking of which — you want some?”

you shake your head vehemently and dig your heels into the carpet, realizing he’s trying to drag you into his bedroom. despite being kuroo tetsurou’s official best friend of a decade, you’ve never been inside his room before. you’ve never been inside any boy’s room before, actually — you’ve never been much of a rule breaker.

(you suppose that’s why you and kuroo get along. you’re forever the straight-laced goody goody, and he’s forever the secretly bad, outwardly good honor roll kid.)

“I don’t drink,” you insist, and kuroo loops his arms around your neck. you stiffen. “and stop being so touchy. it’s freaking me out.”

“what?” kuroo says, feigning offense. “you don’t like my hugs?”

“no!” you say, and he shoots you an exaggerated eye roll. “you’re being weird. I can probably count the number of times you’ve voluntarily hugged me on one hand.”

kuroo ignores you, choosing to instead pick you up and toss you over his shoulder in a fireman’s hold.

“kuroo tetsurou, you’d better quit it before I call your mother!” you pound on his back, a little taken aback to feel his shoulder muscles rippling under your palms as he staunchly marches you into his room. “I do not want to enter your disgusting cave of a room, you teenage garbage troll!”

“getting real creative with the insults there,” kuroo laughs, setting you down and backing up against the door to block you from running out. “come onnnnn. I thought we could play a game of monopoly or something. listen to the radio. finish the bottle before my mom comes home and whips my hide.”

you sigh and perch your hands on your hips. “so that’s why you invited me over.”

“no, no,” kuroo protests, crouching to pull a clear bottle of amber colored liquid out from beneath his bed. “I also just vastly enjoy your company.”

“why not just throw it out?” you ask, gingerly sitting on the edge of the bed.

kuroo’s room is a lot neater than you imagined it would be — navy bedspread tightly tucked in at the corners, vinyl floor completely clear save for a small rug. his desk is probably the messiest part of the entire room, holding an old, chunky desktop that’s covered in post-its with smudged, scribbled notes, ranging from “email prof. miyazawa about missing grade” to “buy mom flowers to apologize for broken mug.”

there are a couple posters on the wall, too, one for the japanese national volleyball team, and one for some punk-looking band dressed in an overabundance of leather, ripped denim, and hair feathers.

“this shit was expensive,” kuroo says, gesturing to the bottle before screwing the cap off and taking a long draught. your eyes widen as he drinks down a quarter of the remaining liquid, his adam’s apple bobbing with each swallow. “I can’t let it go to waste.”

“I think you’ve probably had enough of that,” you say, gently twisting it from his hands. kuroo smiles angelically before coming to tower over you.

“if you’re not gonna drink it, I will,” he says, reaching out to grasp the bottle’s neck. you hold onto it stubbornly.

“you’re clearly wasted, tetsu,” you say. “just let me throw it away.”

“I may have a small drinking problem,” kuroo says, “but I’m sober enough to know I’m not about to throw away the fifty bucks I spent on that. give it.”

“no!”

“yes.”

“nooooo!”

“yes!”

kuroo tries to wrench the bottle from you, and you spend a solid thirty seconds wiggling in his grasp before finally pulling it away. in an impulsive attempt to keep kuroo from getting even drunker, you bring the rim of the bottle to your lips and chug the rest of the whiskey.

kuroo’s eyes widen, and he guffaws loudly. “that was a lot of alcohol just now.”

you nod, wincing at the acrid taste, unwilling to swallow — the liquid is still swishing in your cheeks. you move to go spit it out in kuroo’s sink, but he grabs your arm.

“do not spit that out,” he warns. “that’s over two hours’ worth of minimum wage salary. I don’t work twenty hours a week in the wendy’s drive-thru just for you to flush it down the drain.”

“mmmm,” you protest, breathing through your nose. “hrghhhh mmm mm mhm.”

“I have no idea what you’re trying to say,” kuroo says, obviously trying to stifle his laughter.

you gesture wildly to your face, and then to the empty bottle, and then back to your face.

for a moment, kuroo wrinkles his nose, and then slowly smoothes out his expression. a small smile stretches across his lips, and he steps close to you. you’re acutely aware of your personal bubble being popped, as well of the fact that he smells strongly of old spice and mango body wash.

“I’ll do it then.”

“mm?” you squeak in confusion when he takes your chin in one hand and guides your face close to his. you’re not sure if you’re smelling the alcohol on his breath or tasting it on our own tongue. you’ve never been this physically close to your best friend in your life, and you can firmly say you’re absolutely petrified. you shake your head vehemently as he slowly leans down, tilting his head.

“calm down,” he says quietly, and in spite of yourself, you do. “I’m just taking a drink.”

then he presses his mouth to yours, and you freeze. oh, shit.

kuroo wedges his tongue between your lips, forcing them open, and then he sucks the whiskey from your mouth, one hand keeping your jaw open while the other snakes around your waist. your eyes widen just as his close, almost as if he’s enjoying the kiss. slowly, you close yours too, letting yourself melt into him as he keeps kissing you even after swallowing the liquid.

it lasts for a good ten seconds before you reluctantly pull away, letting your hands rest on his shoulders. he’s smiling, evidently very pleased with himself.

“what the hell was that?” you say breathlessly, searching his face.

“I was thirsty,” kuroo says nonchalantly. “and a little drunk. and you’re very pretty, as far as best friends go.”

you feel like you should be offended, yet you can’t quite bring yourself to be. you’re definitely flustered, though, and a little embarrassed. (okay, a lot embarrassed.)

“I think, um, I think I should go,” you say, breaking eye contact. kuroo raises a hand to stop you, but you brush him off, bounding out of the room to grab your bag and keys from the kitchen counter. “we can talk about this later, okay? you need to go take a nap or something.”

“no, hey, wait —”

but you’re already out the door and in the car, jamming the key into ignition. you just kissed your best friend. or did you? does that count as a kiss? or was that just kuroo being stupid? your mind spins with useless speculations on the drive home, and as you sprawl out on your bed for an hour afterwards. it’s not until later that evening that you check your phone, greeted by a handful of social media notifications… and a text from kuroo.

with shaking hands, you swipe it open, face immediately splitting into a grin.

kuroo: sorry about that

kuroo: ok, not really

kuroo: I’m not that sorry

kuroo: cuz you’re a good kisser

kuroo: a really good kisser

you: you too

you wait for a moment as the three little dots on kuroo’s side pop up.

kuroo: thanks

kuroo: I was still kind of stupid tho

kuroo: my b

you: you regret it?

your fingers shake in suspense as you await his answer, feeling all the world like a lovestruck fifteen year old. you’re a little disgusted to find yourself suddenly crushing on kuroo tetsurou of all people, but what can you say? maybe falling for your best friend is a little cliche. maybe it’s a little overdone. maybe the fact that you kissed him with a mouthful of whiskey belongs in a cheesy teen movie, but you can’t help but find yourself delighted that it happened.

kuroo: nope. not at all.

kuroo: not at all.

#kuroo tetsurou #kuroo tetsurou x reader #kuroo x reader #kuroo #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu oneshots #tw: alcohol #meg ur comment on my shitpost inspired me #HEH #hihqnetwork

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poppyseed799 · 3 years ago

Text

Okay fellow 3rd life fans I think it’s time I come clean. I have been silent about this the entire time, thinking about staying quiet cuz it seemed the whole fandom disagrees with what I’m about to say but I will stay silent no longer.

I don’t get why people say the Desert was “clearly the bad guys”.

Let’s get this out of the way: I mainly watched Scar’s POV along with Grian’s. I watched a fair amount of Martyn’s episodes as well, a couple from Scott and then random episodes from Skizz, Cleo, Impulse, Jimmy, and probably more. Definitely plot important ones I watched from more POVs than just my main guys Scar and Grian.

I just don’t get why, when people look at all of the different factions, they look at the Desert and go “yes they are clearly in the wrong and the only ones I can easily label as the villains in the overall story” what??? Don’t even get me started on “it’s interesting that the villains won in 3rd life” what??? I always viewed them as the more innocent ones, although the story is very morally grey so it doesn’t say TOO much lmao.

So let me explain why! Well, honestly, I’m more confused as to why y’all say they’re so obviously the villains, so I’m just explaining why I’m confused here lol.

So first of all let’s get the scamming and monopolies out of the way. I have less to say about the monopoly so let’s start with that. THEY NEVER HAD A MONOPOLY… if the idea of making a monopoly is bad enough for you guys, then might I remind y’all of the cow monopoly that was attempted? Everyone was looking for ways to make business… and a SAND monopoly was CLEARLY doomed to fail!! Not to bring Dream SMP into this but if y’all are gonna say OG L’Manberg was innocent because they didn’t succeed in the potion monopoly at all then let’s have that same energy for the Sand People!!!

Now for the scams. “Oooh poppy how are you gonna defend the scamming” BECAUSE IT WASN’T SCAMMING??? Scar made it clear what he wanted and what the person would receive in return. They were told they were going to receive a piece of paper and they agreed to it! Don’t listen to Grian “don’t listen to Scar it’s a scam the papers don’t mean anything” because he was LYING. Not purposely, but he was lying. Scar NEVER said “hey Grian let’s scam people with fRiEnDsHiP” instead he always told Grian that it WAS real and that he WOULD go through with all of the papers. And he did! There were a couple of mishaps but obviously it’s really difficult to control every situation. Plus Scar had a hard time remembering all of the friendship passes lmao. But he really did try, he really did value these trades, it wasn’t scamming just because Grian thought there was no way it was worth it.

The only Scar hater I stan is Skizzleman he had all right to be mad at Scar but that doesn’t mean Scar was the enemy of the whole story lol

Now onto something that I don’t know how to start explaining but is a very big reason why I’m confused about the fandom calling the Desert the bad guys. NOBODY IN THE SMP TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY. I saw SO many posts about how “Scar and Grian seem like fun guys in THEIR POV but in others POV they’re really scary!” Like no? I always thought it was the opposite. Like watching Scar’s POV I was like “ah man they have to kill people cuz red life this is so dramatic they are feared by the server…” BUT THEN I WATCH SOMEONE ELSE’S POV AND THEY LITERALLY SAY STUFF LIKE “lol we don’t have to worry about Scar” “dang all those people just exploded. Anyways Scar is the weakest red life and we have nothing to worry about when it comes to him it’s all the other red lifers that are a problem” “lol there goes those idiots trying to make a monopoly on sand so silly” and I’m like. Oh. The entire server treats them like silly cartoon villains that never achieve anything. And yes they say these things WHILE hunting the Desert People down like what. Basically the server treating the villainous things the Desert did as not very serious made me think the same, which is why I’m so confused that people think they’re the Big Bad Guys.

ANOTHER THING relating to how the server treats the Desert: alliances!! The Desert was very loyal. Scott and Jimmy trusted the Desert, which shocked many people on the server but were they wrong? No! The Desert trusted the Hobbits back fully as well. They were the only alliance they fully trusted, but they didn’t go behind their other allies’ backs just cuz they weren’t so sure about the alliance. Sure there were comments about Impulse, but that idea was fed to them by Impulse’s allies, they had no other information. And yet they STILL gave him stuff and didn’t flinch when alone with him above Dogwarts, because even with him being suspicious he was still their ally and they are loyal as heck!!! Sure there was Impulse’s demise but like. That was endgame, everyone was looking for a reason to kill someone, and the Desert was told that Impulse was sus af and his own allies didn’t trust him so it was an easy pick. Bdubs coulda said no. And yeah Scar betrayed Bdubs in the end but like. Once again, endgame, and also it was “kill the person who stuck with you since the beginning” or “kill the person who is only on your side cuz you gave him a clock a while ago and lied to you about liking watches”. What do you expect? Plus the ending showed how loyal Scar was to Grian, the guy who owed him his first life and stuck with him till the end. Beautiful.

ANYWAYS EVEN MEMBERS OF DOGWARTS WERE LIKE “I have a hard time killing Scar because he hasn’t really wronged me personally in any way, he’s fairly reliable as well” LIKE… bro they were ENEMIES. Scar also didn’t really want to hurt them!!! Also can I just say that the only reason Scar was as bad as he was was because he was the first person to go red? Red lifers are supposed to be like the villains, so I don’t disagree with people saying that at FIRST Scar was a villain cuz he was red (although wtf were some of these guys up to using excuses to kill people while green (not talking about Grian)) but he wasn’t even that bad while he was red. He was just the worst by default since he was red lol. Which was entirely not his fault, and he only wanted to kill Ren pretty much lol. So I guess Scar being the villain depends on if you consider Ren to be the main character of the entire server.

Which is another thing I don’t get… why people see Dogwarts as the good guys. There was a CLEAR corruption arc people. Dogwarts had loyalty, but it was very ride or die, as in “if you don’t ride with us you will die”. You watch these guys call everyone (not just the desert people) “filthy peasants” and not realize they are acting like villains??? Plus the ominous “red winter is coming” like what. Not saying they weren’t good at the start, nor that they were completely and totally bad, just that if you were to frame ANYONE in this MORALLY GREY SERVER as “The Bad Guys” why not the ones that made it their entire thing????? YES they were good at first, they had regrets and cared so much about their people (just not anyone else lololol). It’s a tragic story, and you’re gonna write it off like “no even when they started doing bad things to people who never hurt them it was justified” even when they regret those things towards the end or after death so clearly it was wrong??? Guys.

I don’t want to call anyone the Bad Guys in 3rd life tho. They all did bad things, they all had valid reasons, they all had people they cared about. I just don’t get why people pick the Desert when they try to pick villains. They weren’t totally innocent but I never saw them as THE villains. For me, even while watching Martyn, that was always Dogwarts, and even then I don’t consider them Total Villains because the server is so grey! I loved them I just think that if anyone is the bad guys maybe it’s the self-imposed king that threatens to take ALL of your lives if you don’t show complete and total loyalty to them and wave their banner above your house to show it. Even if that king started out innocent and only went red to protect his friends. Once again tho I don’t like picking Bad Guys for this server. It was a very good story without having a clear right or wrong.

Just wanted to confess that, don’t really feel like arguing about it cuz I see enough people calling the Desert the Villains just scrolling thru the main tag lmao.

#3rd life smp #third life smp #3rd life spoilers #dsmp WISHES it could achieve the moral greyness 3rd life has #long post #I had more I wanted to say but I didn’t know how to fit it in I’m bad at writing rants

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mygalfriday · 3 years ago

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you could be happy, i hope you are (River/11)

Prompt #6: Right Person, Wrong Time

He couldn’t just leave her.

Even if she wasn’t destined to be his River someday, she is still Amy Pond’s little girl; she’s still just a scared child with no one who cares. The Doctor understands exactly how that feels. So he turns up at the orphanage as often as he can, cloaking his TARDIS so she doesn’t see his blue box and realize who he is. To Melody, he isn’t the man who ruined her life or the subject of all her nightmares. He’s simply her friend who appears out of thin air and makes her smile.

Sometimes he brings her a new toy and they sit on the floor and play for hours – building whole cities out of Legos and having tea parties with teddy bears and china dolls. Once, he brought a paint set and they competed to see who drew the best self-portrait. He teaches her how to play card games and she absolutely trounces him at Monopoly. Neither of them is very good at origami but they try anyway.

The Doctor relishes the chance to see River this young. He had promised Amy that her daughter would be safe and while he hadn’t been able to bring her baby home to her, it eases a little more of the burden from his shoulders every time he tucks Melody into bed or reads her a bedtime story or arrives just in time to comfort her after a bad dream.

There are bad days too. Some days when he visits, she hasn’t eaten in days or there are bruises on her skin she can’t explain. It always takes every bit of self-control he possesses not to scoop her up in his arms and march into the TARDIS, flying away and never coming back. And once he leaves, it takes that same self-control to come back and endure it all again without changing anything. It’s difficult to witness some of the things little Melody Pond goes through but leaving her to suffer it all alone is unthinkable. The Doctor becomes a safe haven for the child. He is a friendly face when she’s scared, warm arms wrapped around her when she’s tired or lonely. He feeds her when she’s hungry, makes certain she stays warm, and waits until she falls asleep before he uses his regeneration energy to heal any injuries she has.

Tonight, thankfully, is one of the better nights. Melody had a good day. Too busy tending to some crisis elsewhere, Kovarian hadn’t visited once. Little Melody had begged and the Silence had allowed her to visit the beach. When the Doctor arrives, she’s full of excited chatter as she tells him of her sand castles and wave jumping.

The Doctor had brought chocolate chip muffins and hot chocolate just in case she might be hungry tonight and her mouth is ringed with chocolate as she tells him, “I got you a present.”

Widening his eyes, the Doctor says, “A present? Really?” He reaches out a hand and pokes her in the ribs, smiling when she giggles. “I thought I was the one who brought presents.”

Melody bites her lip, looking suddenly unsure as she ducks her head and fishes through her pocket. “It’s nothing special,” she says, looking reluctant now as she holds out her little palm to him. “Not like the things you bring.”

“Of course it’s special, It’s from you, silly.” The Doctor takes the little trinket when she offers it to him – a piece of sea glass the color of the TARDIS, the jagged edges worn rounded and smooth by the rough waves and time. A bit like River herself. Rubbing his thumb over it gently, the Doctor lifts his eyes to the child in front of him and says earnestly, “This is brilliant.”

She smiles, a wide and relieved grin that eats away at his hearts. This first regeneration looks so much like Amy and her bright smile is no exception. “You said blue was your favorite color.”

“Blue is my favorite color,” he confirms, smiling gently. “Thank you for remembering.” He lets her see him tuck the glass carefully into the inner pocket of his tweed coat, patting it once it’s safely hidden away. “I’ll never go anywhere without it.”

It isn’t long before Melody curls into his side, yawning and rubbing at her eyes. He tells her a story about a whale floating in outer space, embellishing his own role just a bit because it’s his bedtime story and he can do what he likes. By the time he finishes, she’s asleep with her head resting on his shoulder and chocolate smeared over her mouth.

The Doctor stares down at her, a lump in his throat. He can almost picture it – Amy and Rory’s little girl all tuckered out from a day of playing in the garden and romping about with her normal, human friends. A mum and dad who love her to tuck her in at night. He wants her to have that life. She deserves that life. And he could give it to her.

“Don’t even think about it.”

He starts, jostling little Melody. Gathering her against his chest when she stirs, he shushes her softly and turns his head with a glare directed at River. She stands in front of the cloaked TARDIS, a vortex manipulator strapped to her wrist and her eyes narrowed warningly at him. He can’t begin to guess how she figured out where he’s been going – she can’t possibly remember it with the way the Silence messed about with her mind – but he has learned to stop asking questions by now. She never answers them.

Setting his jaw, he looks away. Melody slumbers away in his arms. “You don’t deserve this.”

“No, she doesn’t.” River watches her younger self like she’s looking at another, entirely separate person. He imagines it must be easier that way. “But she deserves what comes next. I won’t let you rob her of that, Doctor.”

He swallows roughly, eyes stinging as he whispers, “She’s so small, River.”

A gentle hand curls around the nape of his neck and he leans into her touch, closing his eyes. “She’s stronger than she looks.”

A weak smile tugs at his lips. “Oh, I know.”

With a soft sigh, River settles onto the cot beside him. Staring at her younger self wrapped snugly in his arms, her face softens into something pained and reminiscent. “She has so much to come. So many wonderful adventures. A real family. A career she enjoys. A life she gets to choose for herself. Fantastic hair.”

The Doctor smiles again, a bit more genuinely this time.

River smiles too, reaching out a hand to cup his cheek. “And a husband who loves her so much he went back in time to sing her lullabies.” Her thumb swipes tenderly beneath his eye as she says, “But she has to go through a lot of terrible things to get there. And you have to let her.”

“I know,” he whispers, turning his gaze back to the girl in his arms. He does know; he would never change a thing unless River asked him to. He’d made a promise. Yet he still can’t make himself put her down and tuck her in the way he usually does. It’s always hard to leave but tonight, it seems impossible. What kind of man sees a child suffering and walks away when he has the power to fix it? What kind of man is he?

“This isn’t your fault.” River sighs quietly when he tightens his jaw, refusing to agree with her. “Look at me, sweetie.” Her tone brokers no argument and after a moment, he hesitantly lifts his head and meets her gaze. There is absolutely nothing in her eyes but the same love and devotion he always finds there. No pity, no blame, not even forgiveness because to her there is nothing to forgive. “I’m right here, honey. All grown up. And I’m fine, I promise.”

“You’re more than fine,” he murmurs, humbled by her. In awe of her. So in love it aches between his hearts. “You’re amazing.”

“I’d better be.” River grins, patting his cheek gently. “So let me be amazing.”

Together, they tuck in the littlest Pond and clean up the chocolate muffin crumbs and empty mugs so that when Kovarian visits in the morning, she won’t suspect a thing. River heads for the cloaked TARDIS, slipping through the doors and disappearing. The Doctor turns back, gazes down at the child slumbering on the threadbare cot, and leans in. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he says, “Sweet dreams, Melody Pond. Until the next time.”

And then he turns and walks toward her future – silently promising to make it a good one.

#drfic #river song #eleventh doctor #river x eleven #riverdoctorpromptweek #my fic

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 4 years ago

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Today, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Idia Shroud, and Azul Ashengrotto were summoned by an Anon.

What are they up to today, I wonder? Let’s see for ourselves!

Love is Blind!

“You’re cheating.”

“I believe you are sorely mistaken, Ace-san,” Azul purred, fanning out a hand of play money before himself. “It cannot be helped if you are lacking in luck or entrepreneurial abilities. Perhaps if you were more focused on managing your resources instead of accusing me of playing foul, you would be closer to victory.”

“You’ve definitely gotta be cheating!!”

Ace stood abruptly, causing his chair to squeal across the floor. He slammed his hands on the table—dice, cards, and player pieces glattering from the motion. Sandwiched between the upset first year and a smug octopus, Idia jumped in his seat.

“E-Eep!!”

“Ace, stop that!” Deuce barked, setting up what few precious paper Madol he had left down. “We came to have fun, not to argue with our upperclassmen.”

“But he’s been winning every single round of Monopoly since we started!!” Ace shot back, pointing an accusing finger at Azul.

“Then maybe Ashengrotto-senpai is right, and you need to worry more about yourself than what others are doing.”

“Oi, are you taking his side, Deuce?!”

“I’m on no one’s side.”

“You’re fine with playing the same thing again and again and losing over and over? That’s not fun at all!!”

“I just want to play without getting into a shouting match!!”

“Y-You’re getting into a shouting match anyway...” Idia shrunk into himself and away from the argument.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen—let’s settle down. If the current game is a cause for concern, then we can easily change it.” Azul jerked his head in the direction of a closet. Its door was ajar, a number of board games and card decks spilling out onto the floor.

“W-Whatever gets these normies to shut up...”

“As a courtesy to the Board Game Club’s guests, I will allow you, Ace-san and Deuce-san, to do the honor of picking our next game,” the octopus offered, waving a hand at the overflowing closet. “You may choose whatever you wish, so long as we have the equipment for it.”

“Haaah? You’ll just let us pick whatever we want?” Ace’s exasperated expression suddenly morphed into something more... sadistic. Glancing to classmate, his lips yanked into a cocky smirk. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Deuce-kun?”

He returned the devious look. “I thought you’d never ask, Ace-kun.”

Azul’s smile fell, and Idia’s stomach lurched.

Why did they have a bad feeling about this?

The squeal of sneakers and a flurry of footsteps echoed off the basket court. Two boys flew across the polished floor, while another pair lagged after them—panting and sweating buckets.

I-Is this Tartarus? Idia wondered.

Though the bleachers were empty, he felt as though the weight of the world were upon his shoulders. Idia was exposed under the strong lights, with heat tearing through the weak body of a shut-in. He would keel over any moment now.

Azul was not faring much better, his face blotchy and bright pink from chasing the first years around the court. His legs trembled like jelly. The poor boy’s glasses kept sliding down his face frok how slick with sweat his skin was—he needed to push them back up every few seconds.

But his pride would not allow him to forfeit.

“I’m open! Pass!!” Ace called out to his partner.

Deuce chucked the basketball hard. It sailed in an arc from his chest to Ace’s. He caught it easily, dribbling it to the other side of the court.

“Idia-san...!! We must defend our hoop!” Azul shouted, his words coming out in short spurts.

“I-It’s pointless, Azul-shi. Th-The princess will be in another castle by the time we make it there...” The otaku stumbled, managing to save himself by catching his knees.

“Now is not the time for your gamer colloquialisms!” Azul gritted his teeth. “At this rate, we will lose!”

“I-I don’t think we can...”

The octopus was already gone before Idia could complete his sentence, racing off toward Ace—Ace, who was aiming. Ace, who was preparing to shoot his shot. Ace, who let the ball fly from his fingertips.

“Tch...!!” Azul lunged, aiming to smack the ball out of Ace’s grasp—

—but instead, he caught the basketball with his face. His glasses smashed against him, and with a groan, Azul collapsed onto the floor, clutching onto his head.

At once, the other boys paled and scrambled to his side.

“Oh, crap...!! Azul-senpai!! Are you okay?!”

Riddle-ryocho is going to behead me if he hears about this. Ace winced at the thought.

“Eeeeeep!! H-His health got knocked down to zero!!” Idia looked as though he, too, would faint.

“A-Ashengrotto-senpai?! Get a hold of yourself! Ashengrotto-senpai!!” Deuce seized Azul by the shoulders and roughly shook him. The octopus’s head flopped back and forth uselessly, a dazed expression on his face.

“Oi, cut it out, dummy! You’ll make it worse!!”

“Haaaah... Th-This is why I didn’t want to get involved with these troublesome things...”

“Did you say something, Shroud-senpai?”

“I-It’s nothing...!! N-Nothing at all... I-I just think... w-we should bring him to the infirmary to heal up.”

“For a quiet guy, you got some good ideas.” Ace laughed. “Hey, Azul-senpai, you need help walking there?”

“I can walk perfectly fine by myself, thank you very mu—“ Midsentence, he stumbled and landed against Deuce.

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Ace flanked Azul, offering his shoulder to lean on and a cheeky grin. “C’mon, no harm, no foul. Take it as an apology for messin’ up your face.”

“Yeah, what Ace said! Please let us make it up to you. It’s the least we can do.”

“... Hmph. You Heartslabyul first years... Riddle-san has helped you shape up a bit, I see.” Azul closed his eyes and sighed. “Very well. I will accept your assistance just this once. Consider it a deal.”

“Th-Then... it’s a t-truce?”

“Fufu. A truce it is, then.”

“That—“

“Yup! Sounds good to me!” Ace chirped, cutting his friend off. “So, since we settled things, there’s noooo need to tell Riddle about this, right?”

Azul smile was sunny.

Deceptively so.

“If that is what you desire, perhaps we can arrange another deal. How does two weeks of labor at the Mostro Lounge sound in exchange for buying my silence on this matter?”

... Crap.

#twst #twisted wonderland #Azul Ashengrotto #Ace Trappola #Idia Shroud #Deuce Spade #love is blind #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland imagines #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland scenarios #twisted wonderland requests

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wintrcaptn · 5 years ago

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Forbidden | Andy Barber

Summary : You used to babysit Jacob when he was younger and had the biggest crush on his dad, Andy. But being in High school at the time, you knew it was just a stupid fantasy that could never happen. Now, six years later, you were visiting your hometown while on winter break. Once you found out the news about Jacob, you knew you had to go check up on them. But things take a turn when you find yourself alone with Andy Barber.

A/N : I have fallen in love with Andy and can’t stop thinking about him. Hope you all enjoy it!!

“I can’t believe this.” You said, sitting across from one of your old high school friends.

“Yeah, it’s so crazy. Didn’t you used to babysit Jacob?” Aria asked.

You could only nod, not knowing what to say.

Suddenly, memories ofJacob flooded your mind. You remembered his sweet innocent smile, and his contagious laugh. Babysitting him never felt like a job. He was easy going and loving. You couldn’t believe he could ever hurt anyone.

“Well I should get going.” She said. “It was nice catching up. Should do this again.”

“Definitely!”

When you arrived back into town, you were so excited to see everyone and be home. But this wasn’t what you had in mind.

The Barber’s were the picture perfect family. The type of family you always wished you had.

A part of you envied Jacob. He had two amazing parents who loved him with everything they had, and the other part envied Laurie. That woman had it all. The job, the house, and especially the dreamy husband.

Andy was definitely your teenage crush. He was all you ever thought about. But being sixteen, you knew it was nothing more than a fantasy.

You sat at the diner for a long moment, before you heard murmurs behind you, speaking about Jacob, pulling you out of your head.

Just then, you knew you had to pay them a visit.

As you pulled up to the familiar house, your stomach churned. It was less inviting than before. Almost like it were haunted.

The picture perfect image, was now gone.

You made you way to the door, heart pounding faster with every step. You weren’t sure why you were nervous, since you have been there hundreds of times before, but this time was different.

Gently, you knocked on the wooden door. The nerves building up inside of you, as you stood there, waiting for an answer.

Andy was startled by the sound, muting the tv he waited for it again. Maybe it was all in his head?

A few seconds later, you knocked again.

He let out a sigh, before groggily propping up to his feet.

Looking through the peephole, he could only see the back of your head. Not knowing exactly who it was, he hesitantly opened the door.

In that moment, you snapped your attention back and met his tired, ocean like eyes. Seeing him there, you were instantly reminded why you liked him so much in high school.

Not much had changed, except for a few crinkles around his eyes. But other than that, he was still handsome as ever.

He couldn’t believe it was you. It had been so long, he almost didn’t recognize that it was you.

“H-Hi, Mr. Barber.” You stammered.

“Wow, Y/N! Is that really you?” He asked, a bit surprised. “I-I can’t believe it—it’s been how many years?”

“Six.” You chuckled, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m just visiting for the weekend, and thought I’d stop by. Catch up and what not.”

You weren’t sure if you should bring up the case. He looked exhausted, defeated even. You didn’t want to make thingns worse.

Andy wasn’t sure if you had heard about the news or not, but he was in need of a distraction. Something to get his mind off of everything, even if for just a little while.

He stepped off to the side, holding the door open and motioned for you to come in.

You flashed a soft smile and obliged.

The house had a few changes. Little tweaks here and there. The walls had some new photos hanging, and the couches were different. But it still reminded you of The Barber’s. Which felt nice since they were a big part of your life.

“Want something to drink?” He asked, making his way over to the kitchen.

“Water please.”

A soft chuckle escaped him but he didn’t say another word.

“Are Jacob and Mrs. Barber here?”

Andy swallowed hard after those names rolled off your tongue. If only you knew how bad it was, you wouldn’t have asked.

“They—um—they stepped out. Won’t be back for a while.” He said. Dancing around from telling you that in all actuality, they were at Jacob’s therapy session.

In that moment, you realized you were alone with Andy. Alone with the man you secretly wanted in high school.

Suddenly, you were even more nervous than before.

“O-oh.” You exhaled. “S-Should I come back later?”

He furrowed his brows and shook his head. “No, no. It’s fine.” He said. “I could really use some company. Besides, I want to know how you’ve been! You’ve grown up since the last time I saw you.”

And man, did he notice how much you’ve grown.

He had always thought you were beautiful, but never thought to cross the line. It was unethical. And he would never do anything to make you feel unsafe.

But here you were, no longer a girl in high school. He couldn’t help but notice the curves of your legs under your skinny jeans, and the way you lightly bit on your lower lip. It was something he never noticed before until now.

Now you were in your third year at Stanford. You’ve had boyfriends, and been to parties. Even had some crazy stories of your own.

The girl Andy remembers is all grown up. And you were mesmerizing.

His eyes lingered on you, as he took another sip of his beer. You could feel your stomach flutter.

“Yea, last time you saw me, I was about to start my senior year.” You chuckled. “Though it feels like it was just yesterday, I am now half way through my third year at Stanford.”

Andy flashed a smirk, crossing his arms over his chest, taking a seat on the couch.

You were sitting across from him, playing with the rim of the glass.

“That’s really something, Y/N.” He said. “I’m really happy for you.”

The two of you went on, filling in the past six years. Making each other laugh over little embarrassing moments, and awkward stories you had encountered through out your time away.

It was so refreshing for Andy to talk about something that wasn’t about the Murder case.

For a moment, he had almost forgot what it was like to genuinely have a conversation with someone.

Not feeling forced into smiling or having to come up with something to keep the convo going. It was easy, flowing as if you were two best friends.

Even back in high school, you two seem to connect in that sense. Nothing ever felt force. Part of the reason why you fell for the guy.

“Mr. barber, what is—“

“Please call me Andy.” He said cutting you off.

With the way he said his own name, and how he held your gaze, your stomach fluttered immensely, it was becoming a bit hard to concentrate.

“A-Andy.” You said, making him flash a smile. “What is one thing you remember most about me?”

He paused for a moment to think back from years ago. There were so many memories that stood out. Like the one where you two stayed up playing monopoly with Jacob.

But with what was happening right now, he decided to stay with something light hearted.

“I remember you were a big fan of that boy band—what was it, That direction or—“

“One Direction.” You cringed at the memory. “Yeah, wasn’t my proudest moment, but you got to admit they had some great hits!”

“Eh, if you’re into that kind of stuff.”

“I’m sorry, not everyone is stuck in the eighties like you old man.” You teased.

Andy belted our into laughter, his cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. “The eighties were the best!” He cackled. “Besides, I was born in the eighties.”

“Exactly. Old man.”

“Okay. Well, I’m still young at heart, so does that make me cool yet?”

You thought for just a moment, and then shrugged. “If you can name a song from today, I’ll consider it.”

Every time your eyes met, you almost forgot to breathe. And every time he smiled, you swore you felt your heart skip a beat. Here you were again, swooning over him.

But he’s married. And his son is suspected of murder. What the hell were you thinking?!

For a while, you were both caught up in the conversation, you didn’t realize how long you had been there,

Three hours.

“Damn. I can’t believe it’s been that long.” You chuckled. “Who would’ve thought talking to an old man would be so interesting.”

Andy tilted his head back and let out a genuine laugh.

“The older you get, the more stories you have.” He winked. “But on a serious note, I’m glad you stopped by.”

You flashed a smile, walking over to the door with Andy behind you.

“Me too.” You said. “I really missed you.”

Andy cocked a brow, his lips slightly twitching into a smirk.

“I—I mean missed being back here. Feels like old times.”

The two of you stood by the front door, your eyes glanced away, while his stayed on you. The feeling of his gaze made you hot.

Andy wasn’t sure what was happening or why he couldn’t stop thinking what he was thinking. But the longer he stood there, staring at you from you legs to your waist, all the way up to your lips, part of him began to feign for you. Wanting to feel you against him, and taste you.

It were as if he craved you, and having you dangle in front of him, it drove him crazy.

You hesitantly glanced up and met his gaze. And damn, with those alluring eyes of his, you weren’t able to move an inch, let alone, remember to breathe.

Andy couldn’t take it anymore. The tension was beginning to be too much, and all he cared about, all he wanted to do in that very instant was to kiss you. To feel something again. To feel you.

Without taking a second to think about it, he swiftly stepped closer to you and closed the distance.

The moment his lips pressed against yours, chills covered you completely. It didn’t take you long to motion back and give into him, running your hands through his hair, as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him.

It was so intoxicating, you were high from it all.

The way his tongue danced along yours, and the way his teeth bit on your lower lip, your thigh clenched, yearning to feel more of him. To feel him press into you, pounding you. Just the thought made a soft moan escape out from your mouth.

The sound of you only made Andy crave you more. His only desire was to take you, right there.

Until footsteps neared and the sound of keys jingle caught your attentions.

Immediately, the two of you parted, trying to catch your breaths.

Andy had wiped his mouth, trying to seem less suspicious while you fixed your hair and stood across from him.

Before the door opened, you shared a glance, immediately feeling guilty.

Laurie was startled when she saw the two of you standing by the door. He brows were scrunched until she realized it was you.

“Oh my gosh, Y/N, you’re all grown up!” She said taking you for a tight hug.

Both you and Andy locked eyes again. This was it, the moment you realized, you were going to hell.

Jacob walked in to the house and flashed a cheeky grin, excited to see you.

When you saw how tall he was and how much he had grown, you were shocked and sad at the same time.

“Y/N!”

Your eyes slightly widened. “Jacob! You’re voice isn’t squeaky anymore! And—and you’re tall!”

He let out a chuckle, and shrugged. “Guess that’s what puberty does to you.”

“Guess so.” You smiled.

Standing there, seeing him after all these years, you still can only see the little boy you use to babysit. The little boy who loved to play board games and tag.

It broke your heart knowing that he was going through this. They all were.

“A-are you staying or—?” Jacob asked.

You shook your head and sighed. “No, I was just about to leave. I’m only here for the weekend, so I’m trying to make my rounds.”

His smile faltered and he glanced down. “Oh, okay.”

You couldn’t help but feel bad. Jacob was still a kid. Still that same little boy. And you were sure, I’m this town, no one was giving him the time of day. No matter what the truth was.

Everyone is so quick to point fingers and they don’t care about what he was going through.

“How about tomorrow I come over and we play monopoly, how does that sound?”

His eyes lit up almost instantly. “That would be cool.” He said. “As long as I get to be the hat.”

“Like always.” You chuckled. “Deal.”

Jacob waved and made his way upstairs. Laurie flashed a soft smile, her eyes looking as tired as Andy’s.

“I should get to bed too.” She said softly. “It was really nice seeing you again Y/N.”

Laurie gave your hand a little squeeze just before heading up to her room. Not once giving Andy the time of day. You were able to sense some tension there but didn’t say a word.

You swallowed hard, it was just the two of you. Again.

“I should go.” You said. “It was really nice to see you.”

Andy reached for your hand, pulling you to face him. Part of him wishing he could kiss you again, but the other part knew he shouldn’t.

“We need to talk about what happened.” He whispered.

Everything was just so complicated but with you, you made everything feel at ease. Like nothing could go wrong . It was hard to explain but being with you, everything felt right.

“There’s nothing to talk about. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

And with that, you pulled out of his grasp and made your way to your car. His eyes lingered on you the entire time until you weren’t visible anymore.

He hated himself in that moment. And not because he kissed you, but because he wanted to do it again. He wanted to feel more of you.

Andy realized that the girl he really wanted, wasn’t his wife. The girl he needed, isn’t the woman sleeping on his bed tonight. And for that, he knew he screwed up.

“Dammit.” He grunted to himself.

——

Chapter Two

#chris evans #andy barber #andy barber imagine #andy barber x reader #defending jacob #defending jacob fanfiction #andy barber fanfiction #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #marvel #steve rogers

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13uswntimagines · 4 years ago

Text

It’s Not a Competition - Or is it? (Julie Ertz x Reader)

Every time you get off the train on your way to work, a woman beats you to the corner. One day you’ve had enough of losing and decided to race her.

Based on the line “I’ve beaten you every day for 2 months straight, cant break the streak now”

Authors Note: So this isn’t technically a request, but @literaryhedgehog wanted do this and I think it came out cute!!!

You really didn’t understand what was happening, or why. It had started out so normally. Every morning you would step off the train, and walk to work. You noticed that there happened to be a person (a very beautiful person) who would stay two strides ahead of you all the way to the corner where you turned onto different streets. It wasn’t like a big deal, you kind of thought it was a coincidence. There are just some people that you associate with certain spaces. That cleaner guy you always saw and said hi to in Costco. That person who sat a few spaces away from you on the train. This pretty woman who shared part of your walk from the station to work.

But then one morning you were slightly earlier than usual. There was actually an opening in the crowd so you exited the train station more quickly than usual. You continued your walk to work as normal and then this woman JOGS past you, her arms bent like a freaking cartoon dinosaur, and yells “I’ve been winning for a month, can’t stop now. Have a good day, see you tomorrow!”

So. Well. You weren’t the MOST competitive person you knew. You hadn’t flipped a table after losing Monopoly or anything. (Mainly because you REFUSED to lose. And because your friend Kelley had beaten you to the punch). But… okay you were a competitive person, and it was ON.

You tried speeding up, jogging and walking so slowly that it was actually painful. It didn’t matter what you did, said person would always beat you to the corner. But not today. You didn’t care if it was stupid (or not an actual competition), you were going to beat her to the corner.

You had prepared over the last week to leave your work papers and laptop at the office, so all you had to carry was a phone in one hand and wallet in the other.Today the second you stepped off the train, you were sprinting towards the corner. You threw apologies over your shoulders as you barely missed unsuspecting patrons of the Chicago train station. The corner was in sight a few blocks ahead when you heard the pound of feet behind you. You gritted your teeth and leaned into your strides.

“Holy shit, for a desk jockey you're pretty fast,” you gave the quickest glance over your shoulder to see the woman behind you, her long blond ponytail whipping from side to side as she ran a few yards behind you.

“I played soccer in college, and I’m not a desk jockey. I’m a doc for one of the teams,” you bit out, not wanting to waste the air on conversation.

“Oh yeah? Where’d you play?” How was she not breathless?

“Stanford.”

“Wait, are you Y/n?” She asked, pulling you to a stop. You stared at the hand touching your arm. She quickly dropped it.

“Uh, yeah. How did you know that?”

“My teammate has been talking nonstop about her roommate from college who was joining our Medical team.”

“Kelley or Christen?”

“Kelley. She told me all about how were, like, one of the best starting forwards on the team. And how you got into med school on like, a full scholarship. And how you-”

“Should have known it was Kelley,” You cut her off, rolling your eyes. Kelley was always trying to be your wingwoman. “Don’t listen to everything she says. Most of it is just hype and good intentions.” You were going to have a word with her this afternoon. Kelley was more obsessed with getting you a girlfriend than you were. Last time she had interfered in your love life it had ended in flames and pain and the girl running off to marry someone else. The flames were not an exaggeration. You had literally burned anything she left at your house.

“So you don’t have dance moves that can make anyone swoon?” She pouted dramatically, lifting a hand to her forehead, falling against you in a mock swoon. You felt heat spread across your cheeks. The only time you willingly danced is when you were sufficiently inebriated to get you past your shyness and self consciousness.

“Not unless you’re three tequilas past the legal limit,” you said, lips twitching slightly.

“At least we know that she wasn’t joking about your humor,” She grinned at you, and flicked her hair over her shoulder. You couldn’t help but watch it, the way the movement rippled down the strand. You shook your head, and checked the time on your phone. You were a good ten minutes earlier than usual, and there was a line of shops just opening up for the day. You nodded your head towards one.

“Wanna get a coffee with me, so I can set the record straight about everything else she told you?”

“Sure, but just know that there will be absolutely nothing straight about it,” she smirked salaciously at you.

You sputtered, not quite sure how to respond to what seemed to be a very direct pickup line. “I mean, if that’s what you want, maybe we should just do dinner then, you know, so we have ample time to not be straight? Wait. That sounds really bad,” you muttered. Why was flirting so hard.

“Come on doc, let’s get some coffee and get to the stadium before you spontaneously combust. You know, I might have to bring a fire extinguisher to our date if you keep blushing like that,” She laughed, entertaining your fingers and pulling you towards the coffee shop. How had this morning turned into two dates. You shook your head, opening and closing your mouth several times before finally coming up with a good comeback.

“We’ll just get icecream afterwards to cool me down,” You smiled triumphantly, only to be stopped by the woman. Her finger tilted your chin so you were nearly nose to nose.

“Who said I didn’t want you all warmed up,” She winked, before continuing to drag you along. What had you gotten yourself into?

#uswnt x reader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #julie ertz x reader #julie ertz imagine #literalhedgehog

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electricsockhead · 4 years ago

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💓 jenelope headcanons 💓

side notes:

1 -> it’s established relationship cuz idk how to write f-t-l with them 😖😖😖

2 -> this is set in like seasons 1 & 2, so there’s no kids and jj is still media liaison

3 -> please come talk to me about them!! idc if you’re seeing this posts 6 months after I posted it or 12 years (if I’m still active) PLEASE COME TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

4 -> Trigger Warnings:

brief mentions of SA! (talking about their job)

possible displays neurodivergent traits! (if you’re neurotypical, this trigger is not for you, it’s for those in ND community who get triggered by stimming and mentions of breakdowns. also, the only reason “possible” is added is because I’m not neurodivergent (nor a doctor) so I have no personal experience with with these, and I don’t know if they’re considered neurodivergent traits. if you’re neurodivergent im 100% willing to listen to your opinions and thoughts on this!!!)

jj loves falling asleep over penelope, and loves holding one of her hands and just fiddling with her fingers (interlacing them, kissing her knuckles, etc)

Penelope always played with jjs hair when they do that, and she loves trying to make a braid with just one hand. sometimes she tangles jjs hair a little and they laugh 🥰🥰

when JJ is having a bad day she sits cross-legged on one of Penelope’s desks and just fiddles with Penelope’s toys

occasionally throughout the day penelope will go over and just hold her waist and rest her head on one of JJ’s thighs and JJs hand automatically goes to her head and starts fiddling with her hair

On days where she can’t stay in Penelope’s office she takes one of the toys with her and is fiddling with it all days and doesn’t let go for too long

On those days when they get home they cuddle and sometimes if it was really bad jj will break down and cry into Penelope’s shoulder and Penelope just comforts her through it 🥺🥺🥺

sometimes she also gets really touch averted so they’ll just sit next to each other while jj sobs into her hands, and Penelope just sits with her so she doesn’t feel alone 🥺🥺

On game nights they always have so much fun and they rarely bicker over the color/object of the players because penny will always go for the smallest or pink one and jj will always go for the one with more texture or blue one (ex. on the life game, penny gets the pink car and jj gets the blue one, or monopoly, jj gets the Statue of Liberty because it has a lot of bumps and she runs her fingers through them all the time because it calms her down and helps her feel grounded, and penny gets the hat because it’s small and sometimes she likes to just run her fingers through the “hem” — they rarely ever leave their pieces on the board which causes them to forget where they were but it’s ok cuz they always have fun 🥰🥰)

On their days off, they like to go on picnics and jj takes care of the setting while Penelope takes care of the snacks

jj always picks somewhere with a body of water, usually a river but they live nearby a lake and sometimes they go there as well

she absolutely loves seeing the water just move on the river or just stare at the cute ducks on the lake

Penny always has cookies and extra money in her bag cuz she knows jjs gonna want to get ice cream

at dinner time, usually penny cooks, but jjs always with her, sitting on the counter and trying to help out (even tho penny said not to worry, and that she likes to do it by herself, and also to give jj a break from always working), and when she has nothing to do (or nothing in her hands to fiddle with) she’ll set the table extra nice with candles and wine

jj loves when they’re too lazy or too tired to cook anything so she just makes ham and cheese sandwiches for them and they sit on the couch and watch TV.

Penny loves putting on romantic dramas or romantic comedies while jj likes putting on western/action movies (it gives closure she never got as a kid ��💔)

One thing they can’t watch is horror because then the next day they can’t really do their job right because they just keep going back to the movie that depicts what they only see the aftermath of (like yeah they see the dead body and they’re informed of sa, but if a movie is graphic enough that it’ll depict it, then the next time they hear a victim was SAed they’ll be able to picture it and it just makes the job a lot harder to do 🥺💔)

On a lighter note, they have movie nights every Saturday and a lot of times they settle for Disney movies, and they’ve watched lady and the tramp so much that they know a lot of the dialogue

They also sometimes like to put it on mute and make up their own dialogue, and they always have so much fun with it

They have this little plush toy they keep in between them, so when one has a nightmare they can cuddle it while also cuddling each other (like if jj has a nightmare, she’ll get cuddles from penny, with the plushy in her own arms)

every morning they wake up half an hour earlier then they’re supposed to so that they can be lazy in bed and steal sleepy kisses and still get up in time and not be late for work

they never tried to hide their relationship from the team, but they weren’t necessarily public about it.

Hotch was the first to know, and he’s like “there’s fraternization rules against it, so no one on this team should be in a relationship” but then pulls them aside and he’s like, I don’t know nothing, I ain’t see nothing, but if hypocritically there was something, I’d be happy with it, BUT I DONT KNOW NOTHING (aka, he supports their relationship, but doesn’t want them to get in trouble 🥺🥰)

the next to find out is Morgan and he’s * o f f e n d e d * that his bbg never told him and she was like “you never asked 🤷” and he’s like “yeah, fair point” (obv. he also supports it)

When Elle finds out she’s like “hot.” And they both blush, but she’s supportive and it hurts them more then anyone else when she leaves because she’s the only other queer woman they’re close with, but then when Emily joins, she can smell the gays a mile away and it brings them a bit of comfort

When Spencer find out he’s also * o f f e n d e d * they didn’t tell him, but he gets super excited and buys them a bunch a Pride stuff for them because he knows they might not use it so he gets an excuse to have gay shit lying around his house (🚪🚪🚪)

Gideon never really payed attention to their “friendship” but when hotch offhandedly mentions it he acts like he already knew, and doesn’t make a big deal out of it (let’s be honest this man is an ally ☺️☺️)

as time progresses, they become more and more open about it, and occasionally will display copious amounts of PDA, and the team finds it absolutely adorable because they’re so happy for them 🥰🥰

the end ☺️✨

if y’all don’t mind, I’m tagging @geeky-son-dr-reid and @gleaminginthespotlight 🥺 ilysm

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crying-in-a-stall · 4 years ago

Text

Incorrect Sanders Sides

Virgil: Who the fuck added me to a fucking group chat? Roman: >:O language Patton: Yeah watch your fucking language Janus: OKAY WHO TAUGHT PATTON THE FUCK WORD? Roman: 'The fuck word'. Logan: Are you stupid? You guys use the f word all the time Roman: Oh my god they censored it Remus: Say fuck, Logan. Virgil: Do it, Logan. Say fuck.

Virgil: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world! Roman: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment. Janus: More or less, I guess... Patton: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that! Remus: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept. Logan: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

Roman: Hewwo. Patton: Hihiiiiii! Logan: Greetings, Humans. Janus: Three kinds of people. Virgil: I want pudding. Janus: Four kinds of people. Remus: WHAT’S UP FUCKERS? Janus: Five kinds of people.

Logan: Just be yourself. Virgil: 'Be myself'? Logan, I have one day to win Roman over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me? Patton: Couple weeks. Remus: Six months. Janus: Jury’s still out. Virgil: See, Logan? Virgil: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Virgil: Croissants; dropped Roman: Road; works ahead Remus: BBQ sauce; on my titties Patton: Shavacado; fre Janus: Miss Keisha; fuckin dead Logan: Logan, grumpy: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Patton: We need to distract these guys Remus: Leave it to me Remus: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss. Logan, Roman, and Janus: *Immediately begin arguing* Virgil, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Virgil: Rules are made to be broken. Logan: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Patton: Uh, piñatas. Remus: Glow sticks. Janus: Karate boards. Roman: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Virgil: Rules. Logan: …

Logan: Dumbest scar stories, go! Roman: I burned my tongue once drinking tea. Patton: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and burned it. Remus: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade. Janus: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it on my hand and I got a really bad burn. Virgil: … Virgil: I have emotional scars.

Logan: Anyone d- Virgil: Depressed? Roman: Drained? Patton: Dumb? Remus: Disliked? Janus: Distrusted? Logan: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people …

Patton: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life Virgil: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years! Janus: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this! Roman: I knew I lost that potential somewhere! Remus: My moral code, is that you? Logan: ... Patton: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Janus: Nothing in life is free. Patton: Love is free! Roman: Adventure is free. Logan: Knowledge is free. Virgil and Remus at the same time: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Patton: What does 'take out' mean? Logan: Food. Roman: Dating Virgil: Murder Remus: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Remus: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff. Janus: I witnessed the dumb stuff. Virgil: I recorded the dumb stuff. Patton: I joined in on the dumb stuff. Logan: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Janus: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Roman: 'Prettiest Smile' Patton: 'Nicest Personality' Remus: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Virgil: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Logan: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do? Virgil: Have everyone stand. Patton: Bring three more chairs! Janus: The most important ones can sit down. Remus: Kill three.

Logan: Good morning. Patton: Good morning. Roman: Good morning. Thomas: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. Virgil: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

Patton: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything? Remus: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies Janus: Socks are Feetie Heaties Virgil: Forks are Stabby Grabbies Remus: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties Virgil: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies Janus: Stamps are Lickie Stickies Logan, annoyed: You are disappointments Roman: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Logan: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Patton: Three of us saw it, Logan. How do you explain that? Logan: *points at Janus* Sleep deprivation. *points at Virgil* Paranoia. *points at Remus* Delusional personality disorder. And you just believe everything, Patton.

Janus: Favorite horror movie? Remus: It Logan: Saw Roman: Annabelle Virgil: High School Musical. After watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

Virgil: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends. Remus: ... Your what? Virgil: My friends. Janus: Are they saying “friends”? Remus: I think they're being sarcastic. Janus: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Virgil! All of your friends are in this room. Virgil: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

Patton, trying to convince Virgil to join the group: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone come along who's really... strong! Roman: And grumpy! Logan: And oblivious to reality! Virgil: …

Roman: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Virgil: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD Roman: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING PATTON WITH ME Logan, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

*Patton is cooking* Roman: Any chance that’s for me? Patton: It’s for Logan. I’m planning on making some bad choices tonight, and I need them on my side. Virgil: I never realized the forethought that went into being a disappointment.

Patton: Hey, is Roman sleeping or dead? Virgil: Hopefully dead, I hated their guts. Logan: Yeah, so did I. Roman: Okay first of all, fuck you-

Virgil: Is stabbing someone immoral? Janus: Not if they consent to it. Remus: Depends who you’re stabbing. Logan, who was dragged into the dark sides meeting: YES?!?

Janus: Self care is actually getting into fights with randoms in dark alleys. Patton: No, self care is stuff like taking a bubble bath, or putting on a lot of makeup if you like it, or taking a nice warm nap! Logan: Self-care is any necessary human regulatory function which is under individual control, deliberate and self-initiated. Janus: Self care is the burning heat when rage washes over you!! Virgil: Self care is when you feel the bones crack under your powerful fists!! Roman: Self care is the fear in your enemies’ eyes!!! Remus: Lmao self care is taking your birthday cake just so I can eat the frosting. Patton: If you touch my birthday cake I’ll make you eat your hands.

Roman: You are now one day closer to eating your next plate of Nachos. Logan: That's the most hopeful thing I've ever heard. Virgil: But what if I die tomorrow and never eat any Nachos? Patton: Then tomorrow is nacho lucky day.

Roman, banging on the door: Virgil! Open up! Virgil: Well, it all started when I was a kid... Logan: No, they meant- Patton: Let them finish.

Janus: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night. Virgil: You were flirting with Remus. Janus: So what? They're my partner. Remus: You asked me if I was single. Virgil: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

Store Worker: Would a ‘Janus’ please come to the front desk? Janus, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: points to Remus and Virgil Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Remus and Virgil, simultaneously: We got lost :( Janus: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Janus, driving Remus and Virgil: So how was your day? Remus: We almost got surprise adopted! Janus: What? Virgil: We almost got kidnapped. Janus: Oh, okay. Janus: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Janus: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Remus: The cow??? Janus: What? Virgil: Remus, W H Y?

Roman: Virgil, my old arch enemy. Remus: ... I thought I was your arch enemy? Roman: I have a life outside of you, Remus.

Remus: How's the sexiest person here~? Janus: I don't know, how are they~? Remus, flustered: I- Virgil, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

Patton: Are you the big spoon or the little spoon? Virgil: I'm a knife. Roman, from across the room: They're the little spoon.

Roman: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Logan does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff? Patton: If Logan were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Logan jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff. Roman: You jump off a cliff! Patton: Gladly. Provided Logan did first.

Janus: I know you snuck out last night, Remus. Virgil: Play dumb! Remus: Who's Remus? Virgil: NOT THAT DUMB!!!

Roman: Fitness tip, never stop pushing yourself. Logan: Some say 8 hours of sleep is enough. Why not keep going? Virgil: Why not 9? Why not 10? ]Janus: Strive for greatness. Roman: Next time you’re working out do 15 push ups instead of 10. Run 3 miles instead of 2. Patton, from the background: Eat a whole cake instead of just a slice. Remus from the background: Burn your ex’s house down. Roman: You can do it. I believe in you. Thomas: There were so many mixed messages in that I can’t-

Remus: I can’t believe you live nearby, and you won’t let anyone crash at your place. Virgil: You people already know too much about me. Janus: I know exactly three facts about you, and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.

Virgil: Janus, can I talk to you for a second? Janus: Yeah, what’s up? Remus: Lemme guess. You and Roman are having problems and you want me to teach you how to kiss? Virgil: What? No, stop that. I know how to kiss. I’ve read books.

Remus: In my defense, I was left unsupervised. Janus: Wasn't Virgil with you? Virgil: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Remus: Okay, help me please! Virgil: Got two words for you. Janus: I bet they won't be helpful. Virgil: Your problem. Janus: I was right

Virgil: So are we flirting right now? Roman: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU Virgil: That doesn’t answer my question

Patton: Where are you going? Remus: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there Patton: Can you get me a strawberry cone? Janus: Can you kill Virgil? Virgil: Can you kill Roman? Roman: Can you kill Janus? Logan: Can you not commit a felony?

Logan: It’s dark in here Patton: Don’t worry fam, I got this Patton: *Stomps their feet* Patton: *Sketchers light up*

Logan: So what do you do? Janus: I work in genetic research, and I'm currently trying to eliminate all Cancers. Logan: Wow, impressive. Janus: Then I'll move on to Leos.

Remus: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Roman: I think you mean cards. Remus, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

Virgil: We went through an entire character arc during quarantine Janus: We all became more evil if you’re curious Patton: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Remus: I’m going to get worse on purpose

Patton: Am I in trouble? Logan: Take a guess. Patton: No? Logan: Take another guess.

Patton: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Roman: *holding in a laugh* Logan: Patton, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Virgil: *Sips coffee from bowl*

Virgil: You kill people for money?! Virgil: Can I pay you? Janus: Virgil no- Remus: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

Roman: What are your goals? Thomas as Patton: To pet all the dogs. Logan: No, fitness goals. Thomas as Patton: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

Patton: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them. Virgil: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

Virgil: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my paranoia. I'll wait. Patton’s Card: FAM - ILY Virgil, tearing up: Okay.

Logan: I actually have a black belt. Roman: In what, karate? Logan: No, from Gucci.

Remus: Am I going too far? Janus: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.

Patton, motioning to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts! I still can’t find a boo. Logan: Babe, I’m right here.

Remus: You think I really give a fuck? I can’t even read.

Virgil: Okay okay stop asking me if I'm straight, gay, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT. Roman, from across the room: You tell ‘em, babe!

Roman: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?' Remus: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

#incorrect sanders sides #incorrect quotes #incorrect sanders sides quotes #sanders sides #thomas sanders #virgil #roman #patton #janus #remus #logan

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