#nothing bad bad but he sent me some dms and i cant tell if hes a bot or a creep

[justanapparatus]

.

[berry-potchy]

I went through my drafts and found this. I typed this during a moment of weakness for cliche chick flicks and fuckboy Miguel:

This is not edited and messy but I just wanted to share that I'm thinking about a very typical and silly high school coming of age romance setting with the popular broody bad boy x wallflower good girl except that Miguel is already so down bad for (obsessed with) good girl who btw is chubby and cute.

What's on my mind rn is kid Miguel and kid reader were childhood best friends/sweethearts. You were neighbors and your families were close. One day, for some reason you had to move away. This was maybe when you and Miguel were like 7. You were inconsolable during moving day and Miguel's poor little heart broke at the sight. He confessed to you then and asked you to be his girlfriend and you said yes and you kissed him on the cheek and you guys hugged until your parents had to pry you off each other so you can leave. Your parents felt really bad that they had to separate you from your best friend and what they thought was pretend boyfriend but the move was a canon event.

You weren't able to keep in touch, you weren't able to make many friends in your new place either. Like you had friends but they kinda have their own separate friend groups that you're not a part of. You were kinda just there, mourning your loneliness. Growing up you always had that ugly feeling of missing out and the "what if I didn't move back then?" in the back of your head. But one day, you're already like what? Last year in high school? You get a notif on your IG that a Miguel liked a photo you posted from a few months prior (it's a rare photo of you wearing something that shows off of your curves and feeling it). It's odd. You've posted a lot more photos since then. You check the profile and it's your Miguel... but he grew up HOT. Tall, wide, jacked, but it's the same Miguel with the pretty brown eyes and dark loose curls that he now styles slicked back. You follow him thinking he won't notice because of all the pretty girls who comment on his pics but never get replied to. But he followed you back immediately and sent you a 'hey' on DM. You didn't know what to say at all so you just stared at it until he replied ':/' followed by 'see you soon. you better have something to say to me by then.'

Later that day your parents drop the bomb that you're moving back to your childhood home. Next to Miguel.

Not to get into too much plot I just really wanna think about Miguel welcoming back his girlfriend and wanting to make up for lost time which gets you super flustered by his advances and shamelessness. You can't quite tell if he's just teasing you about the girlfriend part but the flirting definitely feels for real.

Your parents telling you to keep the door open when he goes up your room to hang out and you get embarrassed, stuttering that you're not planning on doing anything sexual. Miguel however shrugs and goes "I wouldn't trust me in a room with you either. I would eat you up"

And during lunch at school you cant find a seat, you try to look for Miguel but the scary popular kids are flocking around him. He looks like he's so bored but perks up when he sees you walk by and grabs your wrist to make you sit with them. Some random girl mockingly goes "oh sorry there's no space for you here" and you feel humiliated. Miguel shuts her up with a glare and makes you sit on his lap. No one dares to speak up as he tries to feed you with the snacks from his tray. He's squeezing your thighs enjoying the feel of you on his lap while he goes "I remember you liking this (insert snack or boxed drink here) so I got you an extra one, chula"

There's really nothing else to this I just thought it was cute and had to share.

[cquackity]

sorry for bringing it up again when its over and feel free to answer privately/ignore me, i just wanted to explain why i find the eret stuff upsetting. i think its fair to think c!eret didnt need an apology from wilbur; thats just not the entire picture of what eret fans see when people go after her for that stream so we might be a little defensive.

i think to me the issue is that c & cc!eret crit cant be separated-- after the apology stream i literally couldnt be on here because people were being so awful about eret and consistently c!eret neg is tied in with people being assholes to the cc. also to me it reads as disrespectful to place all the blame for disliking that stream on eret when wilbur was on that stream, participated, and co-wrote that lore. i have never once had to avoid the dash due to cc!wilbur neg the way i have for eret, and thats pretty telling. not that ccwilbur deserves that, just that its interesting how bad eret gets it in comparison. even the post-utah stream didnt make me as upset as the way people talked about eret did and i am by far more of a wilburian than anything else.

to me, the apology was more for cc!eret for how poorly shes been treated for the last two years and because the fandom treats wilbur (c and cc) like the ultimate moral & narrative arbiter (despite the fact that a key element of his character is being an unreliable narrator); only his apology would make people actually think about how badly eret has been treated. and then it all backfired and everyone was so heinous about it that it was genuinely painful to be on here as a wilbur and eret enjoyer.

besides that meta element i genuinely liked that stream and felt like cwilbur did need a knock in the right direction, as i felt much of the apology tour was an empty gesture that externalized his need for self-forgiveness. not that he deserved to feel guilty or that his apologies were hollow, just that he wasnt going about his efforts to forgive himself in a healthy way, and hearing from someone who already got through it was super helpful.

im sorry folks sent you awful asks (and im also sorry for vagueing, i just couldnt figure out how to lay out my own feelings) but to me it feels really hurtful to see people shit on eret, c or cc, bc shes worked so hard and was the key to a really core moment on the server and gets very little recognition for it from other ccs (constantly being shut out of lore) and from the fandom.

sorry if this is a jumbled mess feel free to ignore it i just wanted to explain a little bit

hello bell! thank you for explaining i genuinely do appreciate your point of view! there is a reason i didn't unfollow you for vauging me lul, i find you to be a reasonable person who has reasonable standpoints on things. but like this goes for everybody who sees this: if you have an issue with me, just send me an ask like this! or a dm. or whatever. i'd also like to think i'm a pretty reasonable guy. i'm also pretty sure i tagged that post with the proper tags to be filtered too? at least i hope i did 💀

first off i'd again like to reiterate that i have literally nothing against cc!eret. i never mentioned cc!eret in my post, i have never posted cc!eret neg before, and the only point i made was that i don't believe c!eret deserved an apology from c!wilbur. i had more good things to say about c!eret in that post than negative. what other people are saying, that's not what i'm saying. i think it's unfair to group me in with people who have/are posting cc!eret neg. at the end of the day even if that's what you've seen that's not what i was talking about in the slightest. regardless of what content creator made the decision to have c!wilbur apologize i think it's a bad one. i stand by that.

nor do i think that it's entirely fair to treat that stream as some sort of meta on the cc!s lives instead of the characters. i've just never thought about that stream like that before, and it doesn't really make sense to me to do so. if either cc!wilbur or cc!eret have alluded to the apology being more for cc!eret i would be open to seeing a clip like that

i also disagree with c!wilbur needing to be "knocked in the right direction" mostly because i think there's several other more compelling turning points for his character post-revival, but i do respect c!eret fans wanting to enjoy a moment between the two of them.

tldr; i wasn't talking about cc!eret at all, and it's unfair to take my words that way when it was never the intention, and not separate them from their original meaning. please separate my discussion of the c!s and the cc!s

[violentviolette]

How do u cope with perceived rejection? I'm at the point rn where I don't want to leave the house bc I don't want to interact with anyone anymore.

oof, that sucks. im sorry anon.

honestly for me its a combo of a lot of little things and techniques but also its still hard sometimes. I also don't have any issue when it comes to strangers. I dont care if random people don't like or reject me or think negatively of me I only care if the people I care about and want to like me don't like me. if that makes sense? so sorry if some of this isnt as helpful for those kinds of situations

but okay so my main steps are usually firstly reminding myself that I'm not that important in peoples lives. and I dont mean that in a self depreciating way so just stay with me. most people are self centered in that were all the most important person to ourselves, we live in our own brains and with our own thoughts 24/7 and so were constantly thinking about ourselves and our behavior and our life and all the things going on in it that are important to us. and like thats a good normal thing but that also means that so is everyone else. no one is paying as much attention to me and what im doing as I am, because theyre paying attention to themselves.

so I remind myself of that and remind myself that most people have a lot going on that has nothing to do with me and so their bad mood or their quietness or their weird vibe isnt them hating and rejecting me, it just means theyre upset and theres a millions reasons why that could be that are more important to them than some little thing i did.

next up is that whatever the most mundane and casual explination that exists is, is probably the truth. and even if i truly think it isnt, i act as if it is until someone directly tells me otherwise. is someone not talking to me today or hasnt replied in hours? theyre probably really busy at work or eating or showering or maybe their phone is dead, and it helps me to ask myself “well when are some times ive taken 2 hours to respond and why was that” and if im being actually honest with myself i will find times when i have behaved the same but wasnt mad at someone or rejecting them. so i always force myself to believe the mundane solution, which helps me not act on any of my feelings.

because even if i really cant believe it in the moment, i can act like i do. so say someone hasnt talked to me and i feel like theyre rejecting me, i tell myself its just because theyre busy and not because theyre mad and force myself to act accodingly. i message them a normal amount and i dont mention my feelings or suspicions and then eventually they always talk to me again like normal and then i can be like “see, eveyrthing was fine and we were just being crazy. glad i didnt do anything about it”

only act on direct information, never assumptions. i act like nothing is wrong until someone directly tells me it is, because i dont live in their head and i cant read their thoughts. i dont truly know how they’re thinking and feeling until they tell me. (and for all u other aspd and npd assholes out there NO U DONT. genuinly and honestly. people are always capable of surprising us and even when we think we have them nailed and know exactly what their thinking, even if were right, u cannot just assume someones thoughts and take it as fact. its disordered and unhealthy and u need to stop doing it if u want better relationships with others) and if they haven’t directly told me something is wrong, then they haven’t communicated properly and that is on them. i dont read into vagueposts or status updates or tweets or level of activity or anything. i notice all of it because my brain is crazy but i force myself to ignore everything except the direct words someone says to me.

is their discord status something super upset that i think vaguely relates to me? that means nothing what was the last thing they said to me? oh that they love me and then we had a totally normal interaction. thats whats the truth, and if they were lying and they actually are mad at me, then thats on them for literally communicating the exact opposite of their feelings.

and lastly, if its people who ur close with, u can also ask for reassurance or validation in a way that doesnt accuse them of doing anything wrong. i will often go to my wife and instead of being like “are u mad at me?” or something i’ll say “im feeling really fragile today can u help reassure me that u love me and that im good?” or “I know u love me but can u tell me again i need to hear it extra today” or if its a friend sometimes i’ll say “hey im feeling kind of insecure and anixious today, when u get a chance could u reassure me that we’re still friends?” or literally just coming in the chat like “hello friends i require validation today” and then people will repsond with emojis and “god mood” and i will feel better

these are good ways to ask for support because they dont put any blame or onus on the other person, its about u and ur feelings, and usually if its people who care about u they’ll have no problem doing that. my friends and i tell eachother very often that we love and care about and genuinly like one another because reassurance and validation is Good and it should be a normal part of ur relationships. (no one insert a screenshot of that time ryo said he was feeling paranoid we hated him so i instantly sent him screenshots of my dms about my crush on him i will skin u)

but yea. those are the main things i do and tell myself and sorry this got so long but i dont know how to explain things like this without a million words lol i hope that made sense and that some of it was helpfull for u

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 19

IN THIS EPISODE OF MURPHY IS SCREAMING, CONSTANTLY, TRAPPED IN THEIR PERFECT NIGHTMARE:

Glynda was saying: “I know we aren’t friends. I know we aren’t partners. I know you’re a criminal. But—I think I can trust you. I think I have to trust you, even if you’ve done awful things before.”

EVERYTHING GOES WRONG BUT LIKE SOMEHOW WORSE THAN EVER? LIKE A WHOLE NEW BRAND OF LOW. LIKE CINDER’S GOT A PICKAXE AND THE CENTRE OF THE PLANET CALLS FOR AID.

IT’S BEEN A WHILE HUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but dw offal hunt, like the rising of the sun, the arrival of winter, and the eventual downfall of capitalism, always returns. so lets go.

(i just quickly reread chapter 18 liveblog to remember what happened and Ah Yes I Remember Now. The Suppressed Memories)

The place was emptier without Glynda. Quieter.

/gunshot oh we’re in danger right out of the gate huh? we got some yearning right out here? right now? how quickly the turn do tables.

Cinder appraised her work, holding the beige coat up to the light and squinting.

man i forgot. i FORGET. how much i just love cinder in this fic. sometimes she kinda zones to the back of my mind where she sits waiting for me to start thinking about her again, but now i remember that this cinder is Peaque. look at her GO, minding her own BUSINESS. im proud of her. does she know i love her.

It didn’t take long to don her new, fire-proofed clothes.

in another world, in a more comical plot, she used asbestos. it didnt go well.

The subtle warmth of the Dust teased tension from Cinder’s stiff muscles, even as she marvelled at the strangeness of her own bedroom’s space. It seemed bigger now than it had the last two nights.

h

She chose not to dwell on it.

h

i choose to dwell on it! ME!!!! I CHOOSE TO DWELL ON IT. HEY CINDER WHAT THIS GAY SHIT. hello. ma’am. can we look deeper into this. i, for one, would like to, and i, for one, think its of value to think abt this. that said, small segue

Quietly, Cinder murmured, “I didn’t freak out.”

THE FACT SHE SAYS IT ALOUD LIKE EM AND MERC CAN HEEEEEEAR HEEEEEEEER i am. INFATUATED with this family. cant wait for the 100k spinoff thats basically an elongated beach episode where they go to like. alton towers. or butlins. six flags??? thats a thing in america right??? anyway. beach episode. call me. (wink wink nudge nudge push push shove shove)

 We had to stop back in because Merc left his favorite binder, and it was 2 in the morning, so it was easier to crash here for the night than mess with the ship’s autopilot.

them,,, THEM!!!! mercury is just a son and childe. thast it. he canot change this. i love these kids so much i am SHAKING THE MONITOR RN!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAA

Stuck here in one of the homes they’d shared, Cinder missed them terribly. Missed the sound of their voices and the easy comfort of their presence. Finding the time to contact them had been difficult, between managing Glynda and Hati both, but Glynda was gone, and she’d sent Hati onwards to Atlas. She remembered her call with Emerald, before arriving in Umbraroot; she knew it had not soothed her or her fears.

im sorry was this chapter targeted at me, specifically, as a human being on planet earth? GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS FAMILY!!!!!!!!! THIS WONKY OLD BANDAGED UP FAMILY UNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!! i thrive every time they are mentioned on the page. it is a blessing. my succulents grow stronger each time they show up.

“No,” Cinder argued softly, “I had to. Mercury, you deserve to hear it from me as well. I am sorry. And I am promising you: I’ll come back.”

For a long, heart-wrenching moment, he was completely quiet. It was good that Cinder was alone in the apartment; laying herself bare like this would be unbearable with an audience.

GODDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i am OBSESSED WITH THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM GOING TO BE THINKING ABOUT THIS UNTIL I D I E. of all thing the remaster does better than og, this is just. SPEEDING AHEAD. this whole CONFLICT this whole MESS just makes everything so much RICHER its like when u splash some wine in yr fancy food or stick some cinnamon on yr favourite desserts u dont NEED TO but it adds that lil SOMETHING,,, that little KICK that just ties the flavour profile together and in this case ofgughugguhu it just GIVES SO MUCH. im making SNOW ANGELS in the WORDS on the PAGE.

“Mercury. If I could prove it to you, I would. But you have to—trust me. For just a while longer.”

“It’s getting harder,” he said. He didn’t sound like he was lying just to hurt her. That wasn’t spite. That was honest anger. And it made her feel like dirt.

im less picking these for specific instances of like, things i want to say, but more just because bits of this r rly just so /chef kiss. cinder has these.... endearingly (take that whichever way u like) human qualities in OG to rly make u realise she had ties to add to her #Doubt but the remaster is just AMPING it up and u FEEL IT and ive never been more SYMPATHETIC to a round-faced sinnamon bun of assholery and fire id DIE for cinder fall and this is a fact PUT IT ON MY GRAVESTONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Is there anything you need?” What was this? Cinder could barely focus on her words. It felt like... “Anything? At all?”

“We’re fine.”

“Mercury, wait please—” She was losing him. “I think—”

“Just hurry up.”

The line went dead.

this place is not a place of honor.................. no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here........................ nothing valued is here................ IM DYING

Cinder began to type out her response, and that was when the nausea really kicked in. 

[...] 

She recognized this now.

Glynda.

stress stress stress stress STRESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

There shouldn’t be anybody. Cinder had done everything in her power to cut Glynda from people who would interfere. To isolate her. Make it easier to bring her to Atlas, to the frozen north, to her mother and the machine…

Cinder’s esophagus quivered; furiously, she shut her eyes and thought of nothing.

god cinder don’t remind me that you’re an asshole and dipshit and also a moron im trying to be NICE and CARE ABT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOP REMINDING ME YOU’RE A PIECE OF SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

FOR FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The front door clicked open.

Cinder couldn’t have said how much time had passed, only that it had passed slowly. What she did know was that it was Glynda returning, the sensation of boils bursting wafting off her soul. It crawled over Cinder’s flesh. She curled in on herself.

There were mites under every nailbed. Salt in her weeping mouth.

offal hunt’s brilliant use of this horror aspect is something i have tried previously to emulate and here’s a fact, take it from me: that shit is HARD. offal hunt consistently able to whack those real nasty, really Disgusting vibes on the head EVERY TIME is a work of art. i mean, kc and diesel do not fuck around, and therefore i am NOT surprised, but it’s only when u try this shit yourself that you realise: this is hard! this is difficult! it’s a huge testament to how GOOD this fic is in every way. also this whole fucking body horror aspect is something i didnt know this fic needed, but it did, and here we are. 

Thickly: “Things were going okay. If you hadn’t gotten nasty, I might have smoothed things over. I could have fixed things with my son.”

with my son

with my son

with my son

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CANT TAKE IT EVERY TIME ITS TOO MUCH FOR TO BEAR I CANNOT HANDLE IT I CANNOT STAND IT ITS LIKE BEING SHOT JUST DIRECTLY IN MY DICK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

im like sweating rn

Glynda said, “I’m scared.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

I SAID IM SWEATING

Glynda asked, “Are you lying to me?”

And Cinder said, “What?”

“About me. About Witches. About Ozpin—” Cinder’s guts went sour. “—About anything. I need to know if I can trust you.”

I SAID I! AM! S W E A T I N G

“I know you’ve lied to people. Hurt people.”

Adrenaline and the image of her kids’ faces behind her eyes made a potent, sick cocktail. “—Not. Now.”

so lets like double back to when i said hey was this chapter written to target me specifically and as it turns out, yes. yes it was. yes it was and as MUCH AS I AM LIVING FOR THIS MOMENT THIS SWEET BUILDUP THE EXPLOSION AND THE CRATER IT ALL LEAVES BEHIND

I

AM

so this next bit is like. i cant really quote one section but as i was saying in Vague DMs, this whole bit feels like wading through mud. usually if you say something consumes energy to Read it’s in a Bad Way when yr bored but this is more like. you Feel cinder all over everything feels so sluggish and it’s like dragging your own corpse around as you try and leave and you’re TIRED and your LEGS HURT and you’re kinda thinking god what if i just fell face down for just a moment of my LIFE.

The putrid weight of Glynda’s soul filled the room until there was no space left for her.

it’s like being trapped in a sauna, like getting stuck in a humid waiting room. where do you GO. what do you DO. god this whole section is fantastic and offal hunt NEVER fails to fucking nail the Vibes but reading it is HARD. i literally keep having to stop and breathe like ive been holding my breath. jesus h christ.

a small intermission for a mood:

“Get fucked.”

back to regularly scheduled hell

Out of the bedroom. Down the hall. The walls were sweating with heat. She tasted smoke. 

i love that i just said how i feel like im trapped in a sauna and it turns out: thats because me and cinder both, baybee!!!! hahahaha help

Glynda’s soul chewed her to the marrow. “Move, Glynda.” 

cinder being hunted at the start of this fic: teehee! im running away! now im gonna getcha! heehee! arent i clever :) cinder being hunted now: this uh. this blows, actually,

Cinder’s pulse roared in her ears. Her hands twitched. She smelled Ochre Brown’s round face melting off. His wide smile shattered with each of his teeth, going black and popping like corn.

this chapter is probably my favourite so far for this blending of so many elements. i cant even begin to like. THINK STRAIGHT about how all of this is tying together. the lore. the THEMATICS. like i said this character rly is just Rich with what og lacked and oh is it RICH. im gonna read this chapter in future and see so much that i know ive already missed. holy shit.

“Ms. Fall,” she said. “The White Fang requires your presence immediately.”

NOT NOW

Cinder stood there looking at it for a moment. Her thoughts were slow. Copper-tinged. Something small and indulgent whispered to her through the blood-fog.

It was obvious enough what would happen if she got into this car. The driver would take her to a secluded place, where she would be ambushed by a squadron of battle-hungry White Fang grunts.

They’d try to take her down. And she was a killer, wasn’t she? Ochre Brown wailed in her ears with every thump of her runaway heart. Her hands itched for action; her teeth, for blood.

She’d burn them black.

never mind! you are already dead,

She thought about Glynda. About her saying that if there was trouble with the Fang, she wanted to come. That she would fight for Cinder.

She thought of Glynda’s question: What aren’t you telling me about Ochre Brown?

Yeah, fuck that.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A CLIFFHANGER!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A MOMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE MOMENTOUSLY: WHAT A CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is EASILY my favourite chapter so far. EASILY. everything about this was peak offal. the relationships. the dynamics. the dialogue. the vibes. the Grossness. the fighting. the EVERYTHING. this is some other level and its BITCHIN. PEAK. that said im now very tired. im going to have a cup of tea and Consider Things for a few hours. brb.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

My player becomes one of the most powerful people in game

Ok here’s the background, I’m DM for a game of all new players. This is supposed to be just a one shot to teach them how everything works and how to play. Its expected to go slow and be very stressful.

The outline: simple kings daughter has been kidnapped and is being held in a cave 10 miles away from the kingdom for ransom. The guards that were sent have all been killed and now the king offers a reward to anyone that van rescue his daughter.

Players: Tiefling sorcerer Wood elf sorcerer Dragonborne barbararin Dragonborne fighter Dwarf cleric

Story: so I decided that I wanted to show them a bit of everything. It’s a 5e game so I have a bit to play with. I used an online generator to make a cave dungeon and i it fills it with everything from traps to monsters to room encounters and all. (I will still use it every now and then.) So the cave has 8 main rooms 6 room bosses. After they barely make it to one end of the cave using a right hand search pattern they kill the room boss and at the back corner there are 3 chest. They pick the left side and its unlocked and filled with typical stuff gold silver and gems. They choose the right side one and its locked. Since no one has lock picks the barbarian decides to make a precision strike at the lock to bust it open.

Dm- roll to hit since it is a precision hit on buddy the lock you need a 19 or better

Barbarian-*rolls nat 20

Bust open the lock filled to the brim with just gold. They move to the middle chest it’s got a massive lock

Barbarian- I roll to hit the lock again *rolls nat 1

Dm - ok so you cock back your great axe and swing with all you have. You cleanly remove not only the lock but the clasp that holds the lock in place.

Tsorcerer - wait she opened the chest?

Dm- yes

Tsorcerer - run i dont like this. A perfect roll opened the lock and a perfect bad roll opened this one. (He knows me well)

Dm - *before anyone e can try and run the chest takes a bite of the barbarians leg. Deals 10 damage* roll strength to see if you keep your leg.

Barbarian - wtf is this *rolls high enough to keep her leg

Dm - this is called a mimic they are creatures that can take the shape of inanimate objects in order to hide on plain sight.

Party fights the mimic but almost gets wiped because they are so badly hurt from all the fighting until now. And the barbarian is at disadvantage because of the leg injury.

They now dont trust any chest we come across for the rest of the campaign. I didnt even put another mimic in because of their fear of them. I had considered adding one in because they missed the part about any object but naw they are paranoid enough already. They deal none deadly damage to every chest from here on out.

Fast forward to the other end of the cave.

Dm- ok as you guys are coming through the tunnel you notice that for some reason it opens up in a circle and there is moonlight coming right down into the area lighting the entire room up. The tunnel continues on the other side.

Wsorcerer- I investigate the room *rolls a 19.

Dm- ok the room is taken up completely by what appears to be a magic circle. As far as you can tell you has been completed and it appears to be dead.

Wsorcerer- I do an arcana check on the circle *rolls nat 20

Dm- the circle is dead there is no magic in the circle never has been any.

Barbarian- I take a step on the circle. *Everyone looks at her like shes crazy* what we have to get to the other side. Fighter follows. They make it to the other side nothing happens.

Tsorcerer- *walks out onto the circle.

Dm- the trap activates *fighter-oh no you activated his trap card. Everyone laughs for a few minutes* dm to Cleric first read the runes on the walls they are in dwarven. Hands his a slip of paper.

Cleric- it says that the guild installed this trap to ward off the wizards and other sparkle making bastards for getting at the treasure buried here.

Dm- the circle is activated by a magic user entering the circle. Now to see how much magic it seeps from you. Roll your casting stat. *charisma rolls a nat 1*

Dm- ok so the circle saps all your magic from you for the next 3 days in game. Roll casting stat again. *rolls nat 20.

Dm- ok what’s your save?

Tsorcerer- 10

Dm- how?

Tsorcerer- hands dm his sheet and scratch paper. His base stat is 19 which is a +5 to modifier he is proficient in charisma which adds another 3 buffed for a +2

Dm- ok you have 10 turns to stop the elder demon lord from killing you.

Tsorcerer- ok so what’s happening?

Dm- the ground has opened up in front of you and a handsome man appears as if lifted from the hole to rest on the ground which is now sealed back up.

Elder demon- now this is interesting. I cant be summoned to the material plane. How the hell am I here. My mere crossing should have ripped this entire place from reality. Did you summon me? Do you think you have the power?

Dm- the elder demon picks you up with telekinesis and pins you against the wall. You take 3 damage.

Tsorcerer- sire please with all do respect I had no intention of summoning you here tis just a mere accident.

Elder demon- an accident. You can’t accidentally summon me here.

Tsorcerer- but it is true I didnt do it on purpose. *roll persuasion nat 20

Elder demon-*rolls 3 fine I believe you. *drops thr player to the ground and flexes. His hands to check his power * it would seem I’m here at full strength this is impossible. I can take over the entire world and do it all full strength. But I’ll have to kill you all first. Pity.

Tsorcerer- wait dont kill us. *rolls persuasion 19. I’ll release you into this world and I’ll give you a gift.

Elder demon- *rolls 10 what makes you think you have a leg to stand on.

Tsorcerer- why havent you left.

Elder demon- fine I’m bound here until you release me or die.

Tsorcerer- I’ll give you a virgin princess as long as you swear 3x not to kill me and my friends here. Anyone else is free game to you.

Elder demon- that’s it

Tsorcerer- no i want your power *rolls nat 20 persuasion

Elder demon-*rolls nat 1 I like you. Fine I cant give you just raw power itll destroy you but I’ll give you a vassal of my power. This is bopro. He is my personal familiar and now he is your servant.

And that’s the story of how a level 5 player gained a level 19 familiar that belongs to an elder demon lord.

[purralyth]

How have things been going with Chariot and crew? Maybe I missed some things, but it feels like it's been awhile since I last heard of their shenanigans! Has the gf been helping out? Any crisises? (In the world around them or emotional?) What is the DEALIO I am ready to hear it!

haHAHAHA i’ll be honest i don’t talk much about their emotional/world crises because they are happening All the time. our dm wants to see us suffer. but let’s have a small summary shall we, i’m actually going to put this one under a read more bc we’ve done That Much

so first things first, the gang got shunted into the feywild, i talked about that much. that’s where we picked up our lovely little tiefling monk Fuarthas (Silence, back then) from his awful hag grandmother rosie, found chariot’s masked mom, and then got taunted by a fey demigod in his Hell Maze and he proposed to fuarthas and now they’re engaged because he’s a warlock now it’s fun shit. anyway. we get back to toril with the crew (and chariot’s masked mom’s ship, lovingly dubbed Eri’s Chariot after her daughter and her dead boytoy, that we thought we might have to leave behind) and we find out that in the MAYBE month-long period we’ve been in the feywilds, 2.5 years have gone by on toril. meteors have fallen from the sky, which is now a permanent blood red, people are chanting at these meteors embedded in the city like possessed cultists who attack anyone that threatens to take them out, and the worms coming out of the meteors are like kind of sort of turning people undead?? it’s messed up. Cool Stuff. but chariot’s aunt mom Serenity and uncle dad Patience opened up an orphanage so that’s cool

So we got some magic tattoos in some downtime (Chariot got 2, one on the back of her neck that lets her understand Undercommon, and another on her chest that gives her a free use of Mage Armour per day) and met up with some new NPCs, one of  which is traveling with us now as our cleric-fighter and is dating(??) our big tiddy big heart half-orc barbarian Lockjaw, and left our aasimar monk’s kickass wife behind to run her tavern bc she’s expecting. we go to look at some funky stuff going down in the town cemetary. first thing we do is go see erran, our moon elf friend we took into the feywild and hates us now for it, and he takes us into this portal and shows us this weird temple thing his supervisor or something had just discovered. there’s these murals on the walls of meteors striking the earth, and a flood, and some figures sailing on a ship through the sky, and then 7(?) figures, that like kind of seem like Us but not quite on par, so fun stuff, and these two HUGE statues in the main chamber. somebody presses a button and this fantasy Alexa bitch floats down from the ceiling and is like oh shit presences detected. and starts listing these titles, like Sufferer, and Guardian, and Exceptional, and then locks onto jia and is like ABERRATION DETECTED FUCK THOSE SHITS and tries to kill her so she has to run. basically without making this too long we find out that we (chariot, frazier, lockjaw, fuarthas, and frazier’s daughter) are descendants of some ancient heroes that saved the world once, and we grave rob just a little and get some cool magic items, and there’s this prophecy that we’ll stop the apocalypse or something?????? shit’s wack. we go back out to see jia and chariot’s trying real hard to cover for her but she’s like well i cant rly hide it anymore. hey guys i have an illithid tadpole In my brain and it didn’t develop so now i’m also part of a separate prophecy that i’ll wipe out all the illithid. but look at this i can float but chariot and i did some research and the only way to not have it be a problem anymore is to destroy my skull and then resurrect me. so that’s a lot of fun!!!!!

still in that cemetary, we find a trail of meteor worms. follow them into a secret passage that leads to the lair of Sunshine, masked mom’s dead assistant that chariot one-shot, but it turns out she’s a necromancer! she kicks our asses to unconsciousness even after chariot polymorphed into a t-rex and sells us to Neogi in the underdark, which if you don’t know what they are, google them, they’re fucked up spider giraffe eels that are evil incarnate and basically were slave trading us & psychically torturing Jia the whole way!! which made chariot throw cantrip after cantrip at them to try to hurt them so they just mind-control enslaved her over and over so that’s fucked her up good :)

we get sold to some drow after a week. beefy boys were sent to work manual labour til they die, and the rest of us were set to be sacrificed to Lolth, so we go haha we have to get out of here asap. chariot disguise selfs into a drow guard (a man bc i was very stupid) and gets caught 2 seconds out the door by a cleric of lolth, who sets up some mix between a dick appointment and an ass kicking for later bc chariot didn’t like. idk acknowledge her. fuck drow. she and fuarthas (who she was pretending to transport) skedaddle into a side chamber and a drow guard captain comes in. she goes to beat up fuarthas so chariot attacks her and a wild magic pops off and they fall mutually head over heels in love and lust with each other, which is MESSY. chariot convinces her to help round the gang up, but everywhere they look everyone’s gone missing (frazier and lockjaw got into a fight down at the manual labour camp and jia turned into a fish and shrieked so she’s gone) so chariot ends up wined and dined and tries desperately not to let this drow captain Do Her and does not take a long rest bc she has to stay awake and make sure this woman doesn’t wake up and see she’s not actually Erran the Drow Guard. but when everyone wakes up a shadow dragon is attacking this drow camp. cool. yes. awesome. fantastic. hell breaks loose, chariot and zarra (the drow captain) find frazier and jia in a stairwell, zarra kisses chariot goodbye and runs off to do stuff after a hefty persuasion check, jia gets Understandably Angry, we run like hell to find our magic items they bought with us and get the hell out of dodge With Lockjaw’s new orc army he’s recruited and the drow dude we found that’s a part of Frazier’s old order. shadow dragon finds us, holy shit she’s frazier’s adopted mom, she offers us a ride back while chariot very desperately tries to tell jia she doesn’t know what’s going on and why zarra kissed her and why she feels like this (she didn’t know it was a charm !!) and generally feeling Very Shitty. we get to frazier’s old monastery and the charm wears off, chariot and jia have a very long talk and chariot breaks a couple times, chariot steals a bottle of wine to try and feel better, she gets in shit for it and frazier takes the fall, he gets whipped as a punishment which just breaks chariot even more, she puts herself on house arrest for a full week, jia finally starts talking to her again 3 days into that, they do some drugs, chariot makes a deal with shadow dragon mama to split the cost of a teleportation circle and the gang blows up at her but she’s like nah it’s cool. at this point she is using her +9 deception to pretend she didn’t just break for a whole week and nothing happened and she’s totally good now guys dont even worry about it.

side tangent from All That, we go to deal with a giant problem for the monastery and there’s corpses strung up with the symbols on chariot’s palm all over. lots of combat yadda yadda, trap one giant in a room and ask her questions through the door, get some cool insight on chariot’s magics that she still has no idea how it works. turns out there’s a third queen of the feywilds, the queen of night and magic if i remember correctly, and she was shunned for her beauty and her and all of her subjects were made to be ugly and misshapen or some messed up stuff. chariots like oh fuck we were just there and no one said shit about a queen that apparently everyone hates that she has the symbols for on her Hands and honestly on her cape as well half the time. but ok cool that’s some new info sweet.

jia’s still guilting chariot for kissing zarra (even though it was a CHEEK KISS and she didn’t do it) because chariot’s been feeling awful that jia got into a romantic relationship (WITH FRAZIER’S DAUGHTER WHO JOINED JIA’S CULT, FUNNY ENOUGH) on her like 10 month leave bc she assumed she’d never get to see chariot again, but that’s a whole can of worms. lots of emotional fuckage though, chariot feels even worse that that happened bc jia hadn’t even been charmed, etc etc etc. but she’s never gonna say any of it bc she’s terrified jia will leave a second time and bringing any of that up might be what triggers it So!

we get told the neogi are selling slaves to jia’s old god, Ool’zakgothool the Aboleth who has been the Big Bad since like session 3-5, so we need to go stop that shit so we can go take down this aboleth and get frazier’s daughter back. but first we have literally no money bc we got sold and had all our shit stolen so we have to sell the like 700lbs of elven armour and weaponry we stole from a navy outpost place thing in the feywild. so we get to solve a little murder mystery in a gnome town so that’s fun. go back to the monastery, pick up some stuff, get some cool magic items made by our new artificer friend Jokk who’s part of the same prophecy we are, and head out again to fuck up these neogi. but on the way jia suddenly sprints ahead and gets like hug tackled by 5 kids who she apparently raised in her cult, and we get lead back to the marketplace where we plan on staking out the neogi and following back to their camp, but uh oh there’s 100 cultists here who swarm us and there’s some midsommar shit and we just fight the neogi right then and there and that’s basically where we’re picking up now. they enslaved lockjaw who oneshot chariot bc she’s a weak little bitch so jia kicked him in the ribs it was fun. and now we’re holding the elf that threatened to cut chariot’s tail off from our Neogi Cage Days hostage to tell us where the shiny gold head hauncho went bc he dimension doored out while chariot was paralyzed and couldn’t counterspell and we want him Dead. to be continued

[readbythestarlight]

c2e92

Sam you look so normal

Oh dear

SAM

SAM NO

Ashley is a woman after my own taste with those flaming hot Cheetos

NO GOD SAM NO NOT THE TOOTHPASTE

Liam is like "my husband? Better!"

Matt is so done xD

[[MORE]]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again I’d love to have Nolan North or Troy Baker guest star

OHHHHH SICK BURNS FROM MATT TONIGHT

Oh I hope Nott doesn’t blame Caleb or think he just wasn’t good enough...

Travis: low key bursts into song

Matt: the DM will remember that

Aww bye Essek

E: "I will punish the bakery"

J: "don’t PUNISH the BAKERY just order better things next time!"

E: "that was an attempt at a joke."

I hope he knows they’re not bailing on him for any reason

It’s THEIR spell that’s so nice

Beau’s dad’s obsession with the fortune teller could explain Beau’s reluctance to buy into the tarot cards hmmm

Everyone: wildly talking

Cad: I’m just gonna ask mom

He asked about his FAMILY

Oh no he HIT her?

I suddenly don’t regret Jester terrifying him at all

There’s so much happening right now, Nott backstory, Beau backstory, some Cad backstory and I’m so torn about who’s I want to get to most

I reeeeally don’t want them to rush Beau into this though

Y’all let Essek know you’re leaving!

I like how Jester and Nott and maybe sorta Beau kinda low key ship Shadowgast now

Matt: here’s a bunch of hermits

Cad: these are my people!

Oh god oh no I don’t like this woman she seems creepy as fuck

These poor monks

Oh come on go to the karaoke bar

Y: "do you have a song you always sing?"

N: "sweet Caroline.........it’s in abyssal!"

And then she "sings" it xD

Poor Matt is it his wits end xD

Cad is now drunk and high and trying to pretend to be Fjord

I like how eldritch blast is an in-game meme

Hiiiii Gentledad!

I love how he was all like "I’m not gonna be your dad" but she also has him wrapped around her little finger

Beau! Honey! Don’t cry! D:

B: "I feel like I’ve found my family with the Mighty Nein, I don’t like looking at my past because it doesn’t have the Mighty Nein in it. I’ve been avoiding the inevitable because... I’m afraid it’ll end up like my past." I’m crying

Fjord is so goddamn supportive

She’s so scared she’s going to lose them and what she’s found with them and my heart is BREAKING for her she needs a group hug immediately

"You’re still my Captain" god DAMN I love the friendship between Fjord and Beau

Aww, it makes me sad that they don’t quite trust Essek. I understand but it makes me sad for his sake (and also now that I’ve decided to trust him completely)

That was the best Super Bowl commercial of the year 10/10

Jester honey you’re gonna tick him off

J: "she is not that great."

TG: "well... you don’t know her."

Oh my god do NOT send your mom a letter do NOT parent trap them

Oh man it’s been a while since we had some good Jester and Nott antics

Oh god please pass each other

They DID xD

OH MY GOD

ITS THE PANTSLESS BANDITS

ITS

I CANT

BREATHE

these poor losers I’m

Yasha and Caleb having a talk.

Oh she asked him how he deals with it.

C: "I know regret, and I regret..... unless my intuition is very off, you know regret."

Y: "so it never goes away?"

C: "No..."

Oh honey </3

Y: "I feel like the forgiveness is almost harder to deal with. I feel like anger is an emotion that’s easier to deal with because that’s where I live. But I feel like with everyone being so nice and accepting I don’t know how to handle it. I know I’m not handling it well but I’m trying."

And now he’s talking about how even if they can’t wash the blood from their hands they can still use those hands to try to do good, and to do all they can to make the world better and not let the guilt consume them and you know what that is? GROWTH.

Somebody please teach them though that they can be forgiven

Y: "do you love her?"

C: "who?"

Y: "I don’t need to tell you who."

Y: "I’m sorry, it’s just that, I know, as someone who has lost someone, it’s important to say something before it is too late."

C, whispering: "it is too late, Yasha..."

And then he turns away but holds her hand

Goddamn I’m crying

Oh boy here we go Beau’s family time

I love how they are all ready to spite or fight Beau’s family in their own way

Please hug your daughter Mother Lionette

Not like that god a good hug

Baby brother ;_;

I hate how stiff her mom is THIS IS YOUR DAUGHTER YOU HAVENT SEEN IN LIKE THREE YEARS

oh god I’m gonna have feelings about her and her little brother

Oh Beau honey </3

"We were hoping you would come by sometime. To meet him." You could have ASKED.

Mom not answering about whether or not they sent Beau away knowing mom was pregnant

Omg she just gave him the jade she just admitted was the only thing she kept from her dad

"Look, Beauregard" don’t you even try it you bad mom you DONT you try to make excuses

Oh fuck here we go it’s time to meet asshole dad

Godddd I hate him

Whisperssssss

B: "I’d like to think that what I became had nothing to fucking do with you" TELL HIM BABY GIRL

Rip into him

God Marisha is killing it and killing me

I refuse to accept his "nobody teaches you how to be a father" excuses and I hope Beau doesn’t either

Like I’m often all here for reconciling with family or whatever but they’ve clearly hurt Beau so badly and she has a better family now

I’m so frustrated with the whole crappy family, but whatever makes Beau happy in the end is what I want

Wow that was some.... heavy stuff and I’m exhausted and it’s not even me I can only imagine how Marisha feels having to act it all out

NOTT that was Amazing "I hope that doesn’t happen to you" damn

Every one of them is telling Thoreau to stop being a shitty dad or else Kinda calling him out on his shit and I’m living for it

Ending on a group hug

God what an episode

They are killing it lately with these hardcore character heavy, emotion heavy episodes

lol Matt joking about having to play his wife’s IG dad xD

[go-diane-winchester]

If you don't like Misha, this post might make you smirk.

I did this post yesterday and then deleted it because the OP made me feel sorry for her.  Luckily for me, someone reblogged it and my momentary stupidity is now remedied.  This whole scenario makes me smirk. 

Yesterday's post:

Doll face found @dean-supernatural-akf ranting in the main tags, including the Jensen tag, which is why she forwarded this biased drivel to me.  Thanks sweetie.  I scrolled though OPs blog, trying to figure this person out, because she ships wincest and destiel, apparently.  And she hates the haters.  It is convenient and dismissive to label those who don’t agree with you, don’t you think?  Label them rather than proving them wrong conclusively, because that would be difficult and you might lose the argument because of a lack of intelligence.  So call them names and be done with it.  Her rant is in italics, and my rebuttal in bold.

Rude and Missunderstood.

I CAN LIKE MISHA COLLINS AS AN HUMAN AND ACTOR WITHOUT BEING ONE OF HIS MINIONS.

Shocking right?

Here have a seat and lean back.

Very recently i got heavily missunderstood, and i’m making this post so it won’t happen again.

I asked someone if their blog is real . Because it was so full of hate against this actor named Misha Collins.

This guy right here, and I bet when you are one of the anti misha people then you even share the same look on your face right now, congrats.

Listen… I love JENSEN and i love JARED. And yes i love MISHA too.

But i don’t follow him around like a dog, i don’t kiss the ground where hes walking on.

AND i also don’t do this with J2.

Why is it that when there is an entire blog dedicated to hate for Jensen or Jared, there is no bleeding heart rant like this about that blogger?  But if you write a blog about all the mean things Misha and his fans do, you are a “horrible human being” with “toxicity and hate in your heart”.  No, I would prefer to call it discernment.  I wont like someone just because “it SPNFamily darn it, haters don’t belong”.  So if Misha gives me consistent reasons to hate him, I am still not allowed to hate him because I will be ejected from SPNFamily?  What is this?  A communist fanbase?  Nobody is allowed to have their own opinions?  Everybody must think the same way and feel the same fairytale happy feelings?  Which dandelion world did you pop up from?

I fight for all of them, i fight against the hate that all of those three get and Misha gets more hate then J2 and thats a fact.

Misha gets more hate?  Really?  You mean like death threats?  Like people tweeting him directly that they wish he was dead?  That kind of hate?  Please, show me where the hate is.  Bring me your receipts.  I want to see all the hate that Misha gets. 

And it’s so fucking unfair, i have seen blogs and people that wish that he would die, a man with two children and wife.

This is so sick and it’s so not okay.

Prove it.  Screenshot and show me where all these horrible people are.  I will put it in a post.  I always do.  The death threats and death wishes for J2 have been screenshotted and are on my blog.  So I have proof for my claims.  Bring the proof for your claims.  Its called making mature statements.  Quantifying your claims.  So please, set me straight.  Show me all the nastiness poor Misha gets.  I would like to see it. 

About the Misha minions, MISHA ISNT THE ONLY ONE WITH MINIONS.

Shocking again, right ?

From under which rock did you emerge?  Misha named his fans minions.  Very disrespectful.  No other actor has ’‘minions’’.  Benedict Cumberbatch didn’t like his fans referring to themselves as Cumberb*tches.  I respect him for that.  Misha did the opposite.   Shocking, right?

The people who only love J2 hate on Misha. And the people who love all of them hate back against the anti Misha people.

That is an incredibly simplistic way of putting it.  And it gives me the impression that this rant was written by someone who is young and idealistic in their notion of how the world works.  How come you don’t talk about the people who like Jensen and Misha and therefore hate Jared?  You cant.  You cant because that would be problematic to the narrative you are vomiting right now.  Those cockles perverts are the ones that tweet him, telling him that that they cant wait for him to die.  Receipts on my blog. 

The way you support J2 is the same way that Misha’s people support him.

Actually no, J2 fans don’t get angry when Misha is interviewed for Elle magazine, yelling “where’s J2”.  They don’t ask “Whose line is it,anyway?” why they excluded J2.  They don’t threaten to burn Misha alive in his house for being anti-destiel and/or making a joke about Jensen.  That happened with Jensen.  I have the receipts.  The same group were discussing kidnapping Jared’s kids.  That group was made up of 3500 people.  So many haters slipped up your radar?  Well, now you know. 

Minions and bitchy people are EVERYWHERE.

It is such a useless fight, don’t like someone?

THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT.

Yeah, take a page out of your own book.  If you don’t like the “haters”, as you dismissively call them, then don’t put this incorrect, unsubstantiated, unquantifiable rant in the main tags.  In fact, keep your uninformed opinion to yourself. 

What you do when you hate someone so badly and make a whole tumblr Blog about it then you are not better as those highschool bullies.

Dealing with the entire subject of hate, in the most abstract manner, without any analysis into your darling actor’s bad behavior and without taking into account the nasty behavior of his fandom, shows that high school is all you know.  Hopefully, one day you will grow up and think on broader terms. 

Cyberbullying is a serious subject, and thats exactly what you do with Hate Blogs and Hate tweets and Hate comments.

Keep using the word “hate”.  It will abrogate all the legitimate anger that the J2 fans have against Misha and his hellerminions.  Hellers are the biggest cyberbullies in fandom.  They sent hate directly to J2.  Some of the things they write will shock a person who has a real disdain to hate, not a daffodil like you who thinks Misha is infallible and doesn’t deserve an anti tag.  One said that she couldn’t wait for Jared to die.  And she tweeted that directly to Jared, along with a praying emoji.  Oh, you don’t know about that?  Well, then I guess you are not an authority on who is SPNFamily and who is not, now are you? 

You want to be a bully ? You love spreading hate ?

THEN JUST FUCKING BLOCK ME AND DON’T REPLY TO THIS.

Don’t reply to this?  Then why put it in the main tags, as well as inappropriate tags, and still hope that nobody disagree with you.  Aren’t we childish? 

What happened after the post was put up:

She DM's me and says that she has since changed her mind because she did another post about the hate that J2 get, and if I could please remove my post, because she was suffering panic attacks over it.  I said I would, but she is going to remove the above misleading post and provide me with proof that Misha gets death threats.  Caught between a rock and a hard place, she said that she came across the death threats on two blogs, that had blocked her for some mysterious reason, which is why she couldn't screenshot the evidence.  I found what those reasons were, when I went to those blogs: 

@castiel-needs-2-go

@destiew-must-go

I searched through their blogs, and found nothing.  No death threats.  They just point out the truth about Misha.  That is it.  She accused them for nothing.  Of course, that didn't occur to me until today, because I still felt concerned for her because the poor kid was suffering panic attacks.  So I deleted the post.  Today I find this message from her:

''So i asked like 10 different people Misha stans and Misha haters about those things you said he did. Nobody has ever heard of it, no one. You are telling your lies man, i aint stopping ya. But you are a horrible person if you need to attack a 19 year old on the Internet and 'Call me out' just because it gives you a kick. And just because you disagreed. My post will stay deleted because it wasnt up to Date anymore, but it wont be my last one. People like you need to be stopped, people like you are the reason why this fandom sucks so hard. Bye Bye. You are the sick one here .''

The weird thing is she attached this gif:

I don't know whether she thought it was going to hurt my feelings or something but, it actually helps to show her true identity.  She is not a wincest fan.  She is a Sam-hating heller in disguise.  Who would have thunk it? 

[ezragold]

With a Little Help from My Friends

A/N: Happy last-day-of-Pegoryu-week! Let’s celebrate by reading... day 2′s prompt... No one ever said I was good at preparing things, okay. AO3 link: [here]

Day 2: First Date

Title: With a Little Help from My Friends

Rating: Teen

Summary: Ryuji has successfully asked Akira out! Now if only he could figure out something special for them to do. All of his ideas just feel like their every day routine, and he’s pulling his hair out trying to come up with a way to make it special. All of the thieves seem to have their own ideas of the perfect date, 90% of which are entirely unhelpful, as Ryuji soon realizes.

[ THURSDAY, 6:50PM ]

crossbonez is online

crossbonez has entered The Dungeon of Unspeakable Acts

crossbonez: GUYS I NEED HELP

crossbonez: ALSO WTF WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL NAME

palette-cleanser: There’s no need to yell about it.

crossbonez: YOU CAN’T HEAR ME SMARTASS

killerqueen: Futaba renamed it and I can’t figure out how to change it back. What’s wrong?

memejed: me! muahaha!!!! you’ll never figure out how to change it back!

memejed: boo makoto types too fast :(

palette-cleanser: Futaba, naturally.

palette-cleanser: Oh.

memejed: lmaooooo

crossbonez: ok ok is akira in this chat??

yougimmethecrepes: I mean technically

yougimmethecrepes: but I think he’s had this channel muted for like a month

killerqueen: Understandable.

crossbonez: o sick

crossbonez: OK SO I ASKED HIM OUT AND I NEED ADVICE

yougimmethecrepes: OMG RYUJI

memejed: GHIDNDOSKFHSKX WHAAAAT

killerqueen: !

yougimmethecrepes: DID HE SAY YES??

palette-cleanser: My most heartfelt congratulations!

crossbonez: of course he said yes wtf guys

crossbonez: why wouldn’t he, i’m a catch

memejed: so’s a big ol slimy fish

memejed: its perspective

crossbonez: can we ban her?

killerqueen: She’s the room admin.

memejed: IM ADMIN MY CITY NOW

memejed: HECK how do u type so much faster than me????

crossbonez: OH MY GOD CAN WE FOCUS ON ME PLEASE

palette-cleanser: something tells me you wouldn’t allow us the chance to do anything different.

yougimmethecrepes: go ahead Ryuji, what’s up?

crossbonez: i didn’t think about what we should do on the date so i kinda panicked when he asked and told him i had everything taken care of but i don’t

crossbonez: ive never taken care of anything in my life

crossbonez: please help yall know im not smart

yougimmethecrepes: omg THAT’S what ur worried about??? HOE ur best friend is a dating expert. I gotchu

crossbonez: lmfao ann youve never been on a date

yougimmethecrepes: maybe not

yougimmethecrepes: but i have seen so many romcoms

crossbonez: oooooo my god Kill me

crossbonez: wait holy shit have any of you even been on a date before

crossbonez: NOW YOU ALL STOP TYPING

crossbonez: this is the worst i hate my life

yougimmethecrepes: yusuke if you say anything about painting my nude as a date i’ll block you

palette-cleanser: There was that time when Ann came to the old studio in order for me to paint her portrait.

palette-cleanser: It was already half-written when you sent that.

yougimmethecrepes: OHHH MY GOD

palette-cleanser: I didn’t want to just let the reply go to waste.

yougimmethecrepes: BLOCKED

palette-cleanser: :(

killerqueen: Okay.

killerqueen: I’ll DM you, Ryuji.

crossbonez: oh thank god

[ THURSDAY, 7:04 PM ]  

[ killerqueen has sent you a message! ]

killerqueen: Firstly,

killerqueen: good for you, asking out Akira! That was really brave. How did it go, if that’s not too intrusive?

crossbonez: fine I think?? morgana kept cockblocking me but he got bored of watching us watch bad movies and left so

crossbonez: i just kinda

crossbonez: asked

crossbonez: and he said yeah

crossbonez: so now im dead and going thru w the date is my hell

killerqueen: Okay, relax. Obviously he wouldn’t have said yes to the date if he wasn’t already interested, so you already have that going for you! The worst part is done.

killerqueen: All you have to do now is think of something special for the two of you to do together.

crossbonez: yeah that’s basically the part where my brain stops

killerqueen: Fair. What’s your budget?

crossbonez: uhhhhhh

crossbonez: uhhhhhhhhhhh

killerqueen: Ryuji.

crossbonez: is free an option

killerqueen: Oh, god. Okay.

killerqueen: I didn’t realize you hadn’t planned for this in… any capacity.

crossbonez: OF COURSE I HAVENT ITS LIKE YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME

crossbonez: I DIDNT THINK OF THE MONEY THING OK

crossbonez: I WAS SORT OF FOCUSED ON NOT THROWING UP ON HIM AS I ASKED

killerqueen: Message received.

killerqueen: I’ll see if there’s anything cheap going on in the city this weekend.

crossbonez: thank you ugh

crossbonez: was this a bad idea

killerqueen: Asking out Akira? No, of course not.

crossbonez: sigh

killerqueen: Lying to Akira about having the entire thing prepared and planned out? Yes, without a doubt.

crossbonez: COOL THANKS MOM 

crossbonez: GOD

[ crossbonez left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:29PM ]

[ palette-cleanser sent you a message! ]

palette-cleanser: Are you still taking advice for your date?

crossbonez: the answer is technically yes but i can’t say i’ve reached the point in my life where i’m ready to take dating advice from you

palette-cleanser: I shall try and keep my advice more general, then.

crossbonez: just don’t say the word beauty

palette-cleanser: You should consider the benefit of surrounding yourselves with beautiful things. I can only imagine a relationship increasing in intensity when the couple is surrounded by overwhelming beauty.

palette-cleanser: In my defense, my reply was half-written when you posted yours.

crossbonez: what the hell would overwhelming beauty even be man

crossbonez: am i sposed to find out which flower gives him boners like what am i doing here

palette-cleanser: that is up to you! And Akira, I suppose.

palette-cleanser: I was, of course, referring to your beautiful surroundings being up to you. Akira getting an erection is less-so in your hands.

palette-cleaner: …I did not mean for that to become a double-entendre but I suppose that’s also appropriate to your situation.

crossbonez: hoo boy you are this close to my block list lemme tell ya

palette-cleanser: Please don’t, my contact list is very short as it is.

palette-cleanser: Back to the topic at hand,

crossbonez: yeah plz

palette-cleanser: What are some things that Akira finds beautiful?

crossbonez: man i don’t know

crossbonez: uhh

crossbonez: good coffee

crossbonez: big ass cheeseburgers

crossbonez: cats probably

crossbonez: hes got a risette poster in his room but i think that’s less because shes hot and more because someone gave it to him and he was too nice to throw it out

palette-cleanser: None of that sounds particularly beautiful…

crossbonez: OH WOW DOES IT NOT

crossbonez: REALLY

palette-cleanser: There is no need to raise your typeface at me.

crossbonez: sjdjcickgmsoakfb

palette-cleanser: ?

crossbonez: nothing dont worry abt it

crossbonez: im gonna go see if i can buy something beautiful for ¥200 

palette-cleanser: Many beautiful things in life are free.

crossbonez: you got an example to go with that inspirational quote?

crossbonez: duuuude?

palette-cleanser: I appear to be losing connection

crossbonez: oh my god dude

palette-cleanser: I can hardly read what you’re writing

crossbonez: thats not how that would even work

crossbonez: i cant tell if ur trolling me or not

[ palette-cleanser has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 7:49PM ] 

[ yougimmethecrepes has replied to your message! ]

crossbonez: plz tell me ur just invisible

crossbonez: ur my one last hope and god is that saying something about how my standards have fallen

yougimmethecrepes: doing homework

yougimmethecrepes: you still peeing your pants over date night?

crossbonez: you still willing to give bad advice?

yougimmethecrepes: imagine me swiping all of my school work off my desk onto my floor because if my math grade didn’t ride on this I would have done that

crossbonez: aight

yougimmethecrepes: also my advice is fantastic shut up

yougimmethecrepes: okay, lets start easy. What’s the budget?

crossbonez: im in high school and not a part time model

crossbonez: my budget is negative

yougimmethecrepes: ooooh

yougimmethecrepes: got it

yougimmethecrepes: arcade? you can just use small change and stuff

crossbonez: we go there ALL THE TIME thats not a date

crossbonez: that’s like going to the ramen shop or something

yougimmethecrepes: uh……batting cages? Movie?

crossbonez: i cant ask him on a date and then just do shit we do normally! how is that a date???

yougimmethecrepes: How is it not a date?? You guys always have fun doing that, how is it less fun on a date

yougimmethecrepes: OH WAIT NO I got it

yougimmethecrepes: bathhouse

crossbonez: shut up no

yougimmethecrepes: hey, it’s not my fault you gave this absolutely no thought whatsoever

crossbonez: UGH I KNOW

crossbonez: WHY IS THIS HARD

yougimmethecrepes: I KEEP TELLING YOU THAT IT DOESN’T HAVE TO BE

yougimmethecrepes: YOU’RE MAKING THIS A PROBLEM

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 8:25 PM ] 

[ memejed sent you a message! ]

crossbonez: no

memejed: before you say anything

memejed: jdcjdjnfdkdkf

memejed: dammit how do all of you type so fast

memejed: it’s like I don’t even know myself any more

memejed: is it my tiny hands

crossbonez: i do not want dating advice from you

memejed: well then it’s a good thing I don’t have any for you then ISNT IT

memejed: I just wanted to tell you that Akira just got home and he’s smiling a lot and it’s gross and weird and most likely your fault, so

crossbonez: oh that’s

crossbonez: nice to hear thank you jhgjfyjuh

memejed: he just told sojiro about the date and sojiro offered to grab him condoms hahAHAAHAH

crossbonez: OH MY GOD

crossbonez: DONT TELL ME THAT SHIT

memejed: IM ACTUALLY GONNA CHOKE LOLLL

crossbonez: I HOPE SO

memejed: >:(

memejed: I don’t even get why youre so nervous he’s obviously out of his mind happy to go out with you

memejed: whatever you guys do he’ll be down

memejed: just don’t do any stupid shit like try and show off or act like a tool

memejed: which I realize may seem daunting for you

memejed: but I believe u may have it in you, maybe

crossbonez: I just have no idea what to do without us doing the same shit as always

memejed: whats wrong with doing the stuff you guys always do? Routine is comfy

memejed: comfort is the enemy of anxiety

memejed: well, comfy, and a good pair of sweatpants

memejed: *and valium

crossbonez: you dont think he would mind doing shit we do all the time?

memejed: oh my god are ALL boys as stupid as you??? how has the species survived for so long

memejed: just hold his hand or something and he’d let you push him in front of the subway!! Like, that probably shouldn’t be your go to option, but just

memejed: he ALREADY likes you. you don’t need to impress him or anything

memejed: consider yourself lucky, because like, idk how you swung that

crossbonez: I agree with you too much to get mad at that

crossbonez: wow

crossbonez: akira agreed to go out with me, you gave me advice that wasnt steaming dog shit

crossbonez: maybe i should buy a lottery ticket lmao

memejed: LMAO ur luck stat isn’t THAT high yet

memejed: see if sojiro comes through w the condoms first

crossbonez: okay and NOW im leaving

memejed: BE SAFE!!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ THURSDAY, 9:22 PM ]  

[ HaruOkumura sent you a message! ]

HaruOkumura: Good, you’re still online! 

crossbonez: hahaha what happened to ur screenname?

HaruOkumura: The company’s social media adviser suggested I change it for professional purposes………..

crossbonez: lame

HaruOkumura: Yes apparently “BigBangIsPeople” is not an appropriate username for the incoming CEO of Okumura Foods.

HaruOkumura: I thought it was funny :(

HaruOkumura: But anyway! I’m glad you’re still online! Makoto texted me and told me about yours and Akira’s date and I wanted to say congratulations and I’m so happy for you!

crossbonez: thanks! tell makoto to quit snitchin tho

HaruOkumura: Will do! I just wanted to talk because Makoto said you were very stressed out and seemed sort of unprepared

crossbonez: im okay now i think

crossbonez: futaba helped me out

crossbonez: weirdly

crossbonez: i mean im still sweating all over myself and the idea of actually meeting up with akira for the date in question makes me want to gag but :) im fine

HaruOkumura: oh my :o

HaruOkumura: Have you decided what the two of you will do?

crossbonez: yeeaaahhhh i got some ideas i think?

HaruOkumura: I do as well!! Would you like to hear them?

crossbonez: hey i am always up for not thinking

HaruOkumura: That’s great!! Okay, what is your budget currently?

crossbonez: gkhskdfkjlghlrihvoirhgiu

crossbonez: kjghsiuergtiughpijiuprughtuislrhgiulth

HaruOkumura: Uhm?

crossbonez: I THINK IM GOOD LMAO THX HARU

HaruOkumura: Oh youre welcome! Let us know how it goes!

crossbonez: yeah sure if i dont die first!

[ crossbonez has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:41 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: Hey

JokersWild: I know youre probably asleep because it’s like fuck o clock in the morning and why wouldn’t you be

JokersWild: But I cant sleep because I made myself some antianxiety coffee when I got home haha

JokersWild: (futaba calls it estresso but I can’t call it that because it’s so clever it makes me mad I didn’t think of it first)

JokersWild: but I had a really good time tonight

JokersWild: and you seemed kind of worried all night so I wanted you to know that

JokersWild: and idek if you were worried because of us(?) or if there was something else going on and now I just seem like kind of an asshole for assuming it was about me

JokersWild: but whether it was or it wasn’t I had fun

JokersWild: and

JokersWild: I’m really happy you asked me out

JokersWild: and just…… you don’t need advice from anyone on how to like

JokersWild: woo me yknow?

JokersWild: I had notifications turned off but the number of messages in the group chat kept ticking up so I lurked for a second

JokersWild: I don’t know what anyone ended up telling you but you didn’t need it

JokersWild: you don’t have to impress me. I ALREADY like you.

JokersWild: so, that’s that

JokersWild: this coffee is very strong and obviously my inhibitions are non existent right now so I’m going to bed before this turns into a confession

JokersWild: or more of one

JokersWild: lets, like, do this again? I want to keep doing this with you

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

 [ SATURDAY, 02:54 AM ] 

[ JokersWild sent you a message! ]

JokersWild: also oh my god thank you for not freaking the fuck out when that condom fell out of my jacket I SWEAR TO YOU I did not put it there and when I find out who did I am going to unmake them

JokersWild: okay goodnight

[ JokersWild has left the conversation. ]

[333kaylynn]

Deaf / g.d.

y/t/n: your twitter name

Word Count: 1950

Request: no 

here i am tagging more people that i hope will enjoy this. sorry if this is annoying lol

@olivia-m-dolan

@dolayn 

@bouttogolinkurbitch

@profanitydolan

@kara-dolan

@nomoregraydays

@chaaandlaah

@dolandreaminn

@dimply-dolan

@doltishdolans

@justanotherdolanblog

@rockstardolan

@notanotherdolantwinsblog

@sushidolans

///

She was calm. A calm young girl who had her whole life ahead of her. Nothing would get in her way.

Her passion for the arts led her down a deep path of internet searching. Searching for more people who had interests like her.

Her love for two boys grew expeditiously after she saw one simple photo on Instagram. The way the photo was taken was enough to make her look through the entire Instagram account, and enough for her to look through each of the boys'.

Her love grew more and more each day, soon leading her to talk so highly of the art she had seen all over twitter.

She hadn't realized these boys were so popular. The amounts of tweets and dm's she had received were unbearable.

She didn't mind them though. People just told her who they were. People were even nice enough to ask to be friends.

Months. Months after the incident had occurred she had gotten one simple dm that changed her life so copiously.

She answered within seconds. She knew who it was, why wouldn't she. It was one of the boys she saw in the photos.

The blue verified mark next to his name proved it wasn't something fake.

The two began talking and it led to so much for each of them. He began asking her about her passion for art and she began asking him anything she really could. Asking about who took the photos, who edited them, how they got to the locations.

Her passion for photography was unreal. She loved it so much. Nobody, not even her mom could completely understand her addiction to the art. 

Her mom always supported her though. Her love started after her mom bought her a cheap Kodak camera from Walmart when she was 8 years old. As the years went on, she got better equipment, better cameras, and better things to photograph. She went from photographing her pets, to her family, to her friends, and soon to help with the school yearbook. 

She thought of it more as a hobby rather than a career up until she was about 17. Her senior year is when she decided what she’d major in. 

@/graysondolan: hey, idk if this is weird, but can we ft? 

@/y/t/n: i don’t know, gray. maybe another time

@/graysondolan: yeah, yeah. that’s fine

It’s not that she didn’t want to see him. She just wasn’t sure about how he’d feel. 

You see, there’s one thing that hadn’t been mentioned yet. A severe case of Jaundice as a child led her to grow up slowly losing her hearing. 

Her mother began teaching her ASL at a young age, she even signed her up with a specialist who would help her get through everything. 

By age 12, she had fully lost hearing in her right ear. By the time she turned 16, her hearing was fully gone. 

Days had gone by since the first time Grayson had asked her to ft, he continued to ask her if she was up for it. Each time was a different excuse. It’s not that she got joy out of upsetting him, she just didn’t want to upset him more when he saw her answering him with her hands rather than her mouth. 

Her speaking wasn’t all bad. She could still say a few words, but she couldn’t always control how loudly or quietly she would be talking. She wasn’t mute, but it was easier for her to talk in ASL than in English.

She knows Grayson is a nice guy. He probably wouldn’t care that much, but it worried her to a great extent. Her anxiousness was rising every time Grayson would ask. 

@/graysondolan: can I at least have your number? 

@/y/t/n: 878-575-3434

*read @ 3:45 pm*

370-454-3859 : Y/n?

yeah, its me

Grayson: glad I could get your number;)

very funny, trying to slide are ya?

Grayson: nahhhh. no way.

ok ok;)

Grayson: you sure we don’t have time to facetime

i’m positive grayson, i really can’t right now

Grayson: will you ever be able to

maybe. stop asking and perhaps you’ll find out

Grayson: hopefully i will. anyway, what you up to?

trying to help my mom teach my younger brother asl

Grayson: asl?

American sign language

Grayson: oh thats cool, are you fluent?

yeah, since i was about 13. 

Grayson: oh cool, all I can speak is english. kinda lame

eh, not too bad. 

Grayson: yeah but you can speak english and asl, thats way cooler

i guess 

Her brother was about 9 years old when she first lost her hearing. He’s now 10, almost 11. He began learning asl to talk with his sister a little before his 10th birthday. 

He always loved watching his sister edit the photos she had taken that day, but it was quite hard to talk to her considering they had to write everything out. 

Almost 3 full notebooks had been filled throughout the year. One of them even had writings on the front and back cover. 

A few days had passed since her last conversation with Grayson. It wasn’t like them to not talk for that long. They hardly stopped for even as short as an hour. 

Grayson: so where do you go to school? or is that weird

its not weird. im homeschooled, have been since 7th grade

Grayson: oh why’s that? 

mom had to pull me out. i wasn’t up to speed with the other kids

Which was true. She wasn’t. Her hearing loss caused her to slowly turn her straight a’s to straight f’s. It was hard for her to put mind to the things her teachers were saying. 

Her mom already had a teaching degree, and so it wasn’t hard for her mom to begin teaching her daughter as soon as possible. Her brother continued to go to public school, his mom didn’t want him to miss out on certain things and neither did his sister. 

She didn’t want to be the reason to hold people back, especially her family. Her brother’s love for hockey wasn’t something she could hold back, so she wasn’t going to be upset if he wanted to join a  public school in order to make sure he would be able to join the younger league of hockey in 5th grade. 

He’s started his first year already. His love for hockey had grown instantly after he began playing. His sister always came to his practices and games and got tons of pictures. 

Some even weren’t of her brother. The coach had asked if she would be willing to take pictures after he had seen the ones of her brother. 

The photos had gone up on the website for the hockey association. It was something she was very proud of, and many of the hockey moms had asked if she had gotten any photos of their sons. 

Word got around quickly, so more photos were being taken and distributed to the moms of the boys. It hadn’t bothered her at all, she loved taking the pictures and she loved to see the parents reactions to the wonderful photos she had taken. 

Grayson: its been a week since ive asked last, so im asking again. can we facetime yet? i just wanna see your face and talk to you. 

im at my brothers hockey game. we can when i get home, i promise

After all, if it did end up bothering him, she could easily ignore him. block him, and never speak to him again. It would be a lot harder if they had actually met in real life, but they hadn’t. Virtually talking to people can have its advantages when needed. 

She just needed to know how he’d feel. If she was being honest, she’d say she didn’t care. She didn’t care about his reaction anymore, but she wanted to know what it was. She wanted to see and talk to Grayson just as much as he wanted to with her. 

Grayson: prove it

what do you want a pic?

Grayson: a video

You laughed silently to yourself and took a video of your face and then of your brother playing hockey. You sent the video with a message

That good enough for you?

Grayson: yes very

good. we’re done soon, in case youre wondering

Grayson: thank god. I cant wait to actually talk to you

you are right now

Grayson: you know what i mean. you know. speak

right right, okayyyyy

In all reality, she was horrified. In the back of her mind she was scared. But she was ready, ready to face her fear. Ready for what was to come.

As the time went by it seemed to get slower and slower. Her mind was fumbled with the thought of if she should actually go through with this.

On one hand, she wouldn't have to worry about Grayson finding out her little secret, but on the other hand, she couldn't see herself lying to him this much.

It wasn't a healthy thing to do. To hold back. She was going through a lot. Her brain was tortured and in pain as she thought about how she would introduce herself. Would she say hi, would she sign to him? No. He wouldn't understand that.

Slowly but surely the clock went tick, tick, tick. The time was now. She was about to face her fear of abandonment. As the facetime call rang and she twiddled with her thumbs, wiping her face due to the beads of sweat drippling down her tomato red face, her brother sat beside her and comforter her, making sure she was okay. She nodded and after a few more rings, Grayson picked up. He said hi, she could see it. It wasn't hard to tell that he was excited. Your brother was signing underneath the phone, so only you could see it. Grayson kept talking, your brother trying to sign as quickly as he could. Her brother looked at the camera and then down at the screen at Grayson, who sat in silence, confused at her sudden lack of quirkyness.

"Y/n, you okay?" Grayson says, her brother signing it to her. She looks back up and nods, smiling as if everything was okay. "Are you sure, you keep looking down." Grayson says, looking at you and tilting his head as a way to express his confusion.

"Grayson, uh she-" Her finger gently pressed to her lips to get her brother to be quiet.

She looked up and waved, and breathed in through her noise before slowly breathing out through her mouth. She let her hands take control, and Grayson laughed before saying "You know I only speak english, babe." She sighed and looked at her brother before signing, "Tell him." Her brother nodded before looking at Grayson and then quickly at her to make sure. She nods and starts slowly breathing harder, her face growing redder.

"Grayson. She can't hear you." Her brother says with the most seriousness in his small face.

"What do you mean? Is her phone broken?" Grayson asks, trying to talk more to see if that'll help.

Her brother tells Grayson to be quiet so he can speak, which silences Grayson. "Grayson, she can't hear you because she's deaf."

"What? You're lying." Grayson shook his head in disbelief and then looked at you for confirmation.

You sighed and started signing, your brother speaking for you.

You explained everything to him, and he sat there listening. He didn't judge you at all, and you stayed friends. 

He even took it upon himself to learn asl so when he was finally able to meet you, you guys could talk. You guys could communicate. 

[andveryginger]

75 for the kiss prompt, for whoever talks to you. :D

So #75 is, “Kisses Meant To Distract The Other Person From Whatever They Were Intently Doing.” The result is the first Drastic Measures AU!fic starring the alternate versions of Mairen and Reanden.

Force help us. ::headdesk::

Takes place sometime later in the DM-verse, after settling Odessen. Details are sketchy ‘cause most of this part of the story is still in note form – not even an outline yet…

Posted sans beta, fresh off the presses.

Seated in the pilot’s seat, Reanden Taerich gripped the yoke with one hand, the other resting impatiently on the hyperdrive lever. Laser blasts from the Zakuulan scout ships swarming him pounded against the shields, rocking the contents of the Phantom-class vessel as the inertial dampeners struggled to keep up with his own maneuvers. “SCORPIO, I could really use those calculations right about now,” he exclaimed, shifting a side-long glance toward the rust bucket beside him.

The droid, seated in the co-pilot seat of the sleek vessel, appeared as unimpressed as ever. “Hyperspace calculations are exacting at the best of times, Agent,” she replied. “Attempting to compensate for our continual change of course only amplifies the difficulty.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be more accommodating,” Taerich said with a snort. That was about as close as she ever came to complaining about his piloting. “Take much longer to compensate, though, and it’s gonna cease to be a problem!”

There was a shift in the wide, orange photoreceptors, lenses rotating and internal circuits blinking to blue for a fraction of a second. “Calculations complete. You may engage hyperdrive when ready.”

If there was a note of smug satisfaction in her voice, it was clearly his imagination. With a nudge of his wrist, Reanden shoved the lever into the forward position. He felt his stomach drop to his knees and quickly rebound in the heartbeat it took for the sublight engines to engage. He watched through the transparisteel as light itself stretched around them before they blinked into the space between.

Heaving a sigh of relief, the former Imperial spy leaned back in his seat and rubbed his hands over his face. Adrenaline coursed through his system, making his limbs hum and his extremities tingle. It was a strange feeling, one he had not felt in quite some time. The constant infusion of alcohol had apparently kept at bay over the past few years. He pushed himself to his feet, unable to remain seated, needing to move – to walk – to pace. “Keep us on course for Duros. If we can punch out of hyperspace behind the moons, it should buy us enough time to make the next jump,” he said.

SCORPIO seemed to consider this a moment, then nodded. “Very well,” she replied. Her hands gripped the flight yoke, metallic plating clattering quietly against the hardware as she did so. “You will be notified as we approach our next vector.”

“Fine.” With a nod, Reanden turned and stalked down the passageway and into the main compartment. To his left, he could see Lokin puttering around the small medical lab, picking up a datapad from his desk as Raina Temple eased herself up onto the bed. She had suffered a few minor injuries in the course of the op, so he was glad to see them being tended.

Movement in his peripheral – a flutter of red and green – shifted his attention to his right. Recognition was instant: Mairen. He watched as the Green Jedi moved about the conference room, taking position near the computer terminal. Her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath, rolling her head and shoulders. There was slight movement to her lips as she murmured to herself, tapping commands into the keyboard.

Memories flooded him: a darkened room, echoing with soft sighs and gasps; her chest rising and falling against his; the way she met his need with an assertive desire of her own. Blood surged to his lower extremities, fuelled, no doubt, by the adrenaline. A wry grin tugged at the corner of his mouth. That’s one way to blow off a little steam, he thought. He moved toward the conference room, the grin widening.

For her part, Mairen glanced up from the console as he entered. “That was some piloting,” she said. She continued working on her data input. “Though maybe you should see about getting some seat belts installed somewhere other than the cockpit.”

“I’ll talk to Hylo about requisitioning the parts when we get back to Odessen,” he replied with a chuckle. Stepping up behind her, he placed on hand on her hip, the other brushing aside the long, wavy locks of red hair. He nuzzled her neck before placing a kiss just below her ear. “I’d hate for you to be bruised… in transit…”

Her breath caught, her fingers stilling over the keys. “Now isn’t the time for this,” she whispered. “There’s reports to be done…”

Reanden felt himself twitch at the breathy nature of her voice, allowed his hand to trace over her as it came to rest on the crest of her hip. His fingers tightened as his own hips canted toward her. She bit back a soft moan. “Can’t tell me you don’t want to work off a little of this excess energy,” he murmured into her skin.

“I’d like nothing more,” she replied. Her hands gripped at the console. “But your crew –”

“…Is busy.”

He nipped at her earlobe and her hips rolled involuntarily against him, surprising him with her quick response. It seemed she was quite keyed up. “Force, Reanden,” she hissed. She whirled on him, arms sliding around his neck as her mouth claimed his. Two fingers waved toward the door, and the durasteel plating slid closed. “This is such a bad idea.”

“Probably,” he answered. He executed a reverse, nudging her backward until she bumped up against the conference table. She eased herself up onto it with no hesitation. Stepping in between her parted legs, his hands fisted in her lower robes, rucking them up. His hands then found the bare skin of her thighs as her fingers fumbled over the latch on his belt.

“Gotta say I’m impressed, old timer! Wouldn’t think you could get it up any more… or is that what the Jedi is for?”

Mairen’s hands froze over his waist, eyes widening as they looked first to one another, then to the door. Kaliyo Djannis stood just inside the room, arms folded as she leaned against the bulkhead. A knowing smirk played across her pale features.

Burying her face in his shoulder, Mairen slipped her hands up to his chest, curling into his lapels as he levelled a steely glare at his associate. His hip sheath was out of reach, but there were a few smaller throwing knives concealed just along the side seams of his jacket. A well-placed warning toss might just do the trick, he thought. “Kaliyo…”

“Fairly unconventional use of the Force, if you think about it,” the Rattataki continued. “Or is it? What with that whole ‘no attachments’ thing, I bet you guys get lots of practice.”

Reanden felt rage – cold, unadulterated rage spike deep within him, his gaze hardening. He couldn’t use the knife now – couldn’t – because he wouldn’t miss. He would kill her. Then he felt warmth radiating through him. Looking down, he saw Mairen, looking up at him with cautious eyes, her palm soft against his evening stubble. Drawing in a deep breath, he exhaled slowly. He knew the glint in his eyes had mellowed, but there was an unmistakable edge remaining in his voice. “Out. Now.”

It was the first time he had ever seen Kaliyo flinch away from him, her already white skin paling further beneath the tattoos. She swallowed as she straightened, exiting the room silently. The door slipped closed again behind her.

Silence hung heavily in the room for a long moment after her departure. It was Mairen who spoke first. “Are you all right?” she asked. Her gaze traced his features with concern… and a tenderness he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge.

He nodded, squeezing her hand. “I will be.” If his voice was a bit rough, surely it was the result of their earlier activities and not the jumble of emotions currently lodged in his chest. Should he have been willing to stand up for Mairen? Yes. That viciously? Probably not. Even now, the strength of his response surprised him. There would be fences to mend with Kaliyo later… but she would not make the same mistake again.

Her thumb traced the crease between his brows, a soft smile playing over her features. “Thank you.” There was a weightiness to her voice, a double meaning that he could not miss. She knew – could sense, perhaps – his confusion.

“You’re welcome.” Reanden cradled her head in his hands, pressing a kiss first to her forehead, then her pink, slightly swollen lips. As he began to draw back, she pulled him back in, deepening the kiss into something languid and tender, with building intensity. The smile that curved his lips echoed hers when the kiss ended. “Quite welcome.”

An impish gleam sparked her eyes, paired with a lopsided grin. “Seems we still have a bit of… adrenaline to deal with. Meet me in the ‘fresher in ten minutes?”

“Awfully small space,” he replied with a chuckle.

Mairen dropped a kiss of her own just under his jawline. “All the more reason to… stay close.”

The seductive note in her voice sent a charge through him and he felt his interest, diminished considerably by the interruption, flickering to life again. His hands flexed over the crest of her hips as he exhaled. He looked up at her. “Ten minutes.”

She planted a kiss on his nose, slipping off the table, then toward the door without another look back. His attention was drawn to the waves of red hair; the curve of her waist; the sway of her hips. He sighed as the door closed behind her, rubbing his hands over his face. His history – their history – had the potential to make such an entanglement, casual as it may be, incredibly complicated. But damn if he wasn’t going to enjoy this while it lasted.

[taylorsparklingswift]

My Taylor Swift story

It was Monday, 9th of October 2017. Me and my European group chat had just spent the whole evening freaking out over that Taylor Swift had reached her follow limit on tumblr and that we would never be noticed. I was devastated because I fell in love with Taylor 2008 but had never got noticed before and it made me really sad that she wouldn’t know that I even exist.

I was in the car, my boyfriend was driving me home and we were as usually listening on Taylor Swift and long live came on. The time was 10.14 pm and I was scrolling on tumblr when I out of nowhere received a message from Taylor Nation, I thought it was some cruel joke and checked the URL a million times. When I finally understood that it was the real Taylor Nation I started freaking out, I was just crying and I couldn’t breath, but yeah I think you understand what im talking about. My boyfriend was like omg have Taylor liked something of yours and I was just NO SHE HASN’T LIKED ANYTHING THEY SENT ME A DM. I tried to read the message a hundred times but all I was able to read before freaking out even more was *CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE*. I started answer them like “omg is this a joke? It’s not funny! Please don’t joke with me” And then I was like “in case it is for real, here are my information (I didn’t want to risk anything haha). When I realized what it could be and it may be serious I called my mom immediately and she honestly thought that we had been in a car accident or something like that because I was crying so much and she couldn’t hear what I was trying to say. I managed to say that there was nothing bad that had happened, but that I had gotten a DM from Taylor Nation. My mon tried to make me more calm and told me that we could talk when I was home (I was literally two minutes from my home but I couldn’t wait to tell my parents until I came home.

When I came home I started trying to explain everything to my parents and I must say that they were really suspicious. I showed them the 1989 secret sessions video and started crying again.

Fasten forwards to later the same night. I was just on my way to my bed when I at 11:09 pm got a call from New York, and I answered. This woman from Taylor Nation (sorry I don’t remember your name, it was so much happening at once) presented herself and explained everything, Taylor had been noticing me on tumblr and seen how much I love her and how much I care about other swifties and asked if I could travel to London that Friday (Friday 13th) for a secret event. She told me that I could take someone close to me with me so I didn’t have to travel alone, and for me I felt like the safest thing would be to take my boyfriend with me who also likes Taylor and always supports me loving her. They also told me that they had seen my post on tumblr with him and I explained that we had been freaking out in our group chat that Taylor never would notice us now that she has reached her follow limit. She just started laughing and told me that both Taylor and Taylor Nation are really good at lurking fans without them knowing it. AAHHHH WHAT HAVE THEY SEEN?!?! Our conversation went towards the end and I gave her my email so she could sent me more information.

I was shaking the whole time I talked to her and as soon as we hung up I called my boyfriend and told him everything, the only thing he answered was “you do know that your passport has expired right?” Imagine how I started freaking out when he reminded me of that. But I was determined that I wasn’t going to miss this opportunity. I couldn’t sleep all night, I was shaking so much and I felt really sick. Rest of the week I just booked everything and was freaking out like all the time and I couldn’t eat or sleep the whole week and I couldn’t tell anyone expect my parents. LIKE IMAGINE GETTING INVITED TONA SECRET EVENT THAT YOU KNEW WERE PROBABLY SECRET SESSION. Still dying over that….

Fasten forwards to Friday 13th.

I started getting ready like 4 hours before we were leaving to get to the meeting point ( a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do). To get there we had to take 2 trains and bus nr 13 that stopped outside our meeting point (coincidence? Don’t think so). We were there an hour and half early but there were some people there early too and I met @lovingherisred13 and @shakeitoff6202 who I had been talking to before and I was so shocked but happy to see them there.

After a while we got in a line to register and TN was like “hi I’m so glad you could make it!” And then turned to my boyfriend and was just like “oh you must be Martin, Felicia’s boyfriend!” and I died. We got these bracelets that said United Kingdom in reputation front. We went downstairs to leave our stuff and we also had to wait there until we were going on the bus to a secret location. Me, my boyfriend, Bea and Morgen all got on the second bus and we were all saying together all night and freaked out together.

But okey okey, the bus stopped outside this enormous house that we were going in to, there were more security checks and after that we started mingling with everyone and eat all the wonderful food in her kitchen, she had M&M that said REP and also bisques with REP on them, olives, cheese (the best cheese ever), chicken tenders and much more. We talked to Scott and he gave us guitarpics (what a dream!). Taylors mom and Tree and some other people suddenly came down the stairs and told us to go sit in her living room, so we did that and then after a little while of freaking out when we say the chair in the front middle, the goddess Taylor Swift walked in looking like a sexy angel and she sat down and she was like “Hi guys, I’m Taylor” and yes I died, right there, died. She told us that she had handpicked all of us and that she as been lurking all of us for one year and that she had screenshots of our post that she sent to Taylor Nation. She played us the entire album and told us every detail behind every song and what’s to come. All the time she was just her beautiful, precious, sexy, dorky self, and several times during the evening she just looked straight in my eyes and just smiled (and yes I died, right there, again). When she was done she told us that we were going to meet her in pairs in another room and while we were waiting we got to look in the magazines and talk to Taylor Nation. (So awesome!)

When it was me and my boyfriends turn to meet her, I walked in the room and was just in shook that she was there, like she was there, she was (is) a human being for real (no I hadn’t processed that during the whole evening). She say that and just walked up to me fast and just gave me the longest biggest and best hug ever, the kind of hug your mom would give you if she haven’t seen you in 9 years, and I was like this is it, I’m gonna die. And in the hug she told me that she was so happy to finally meet me. When the hug was over she was like “Oh my gosh you have the exact same hair as me, that’s so crazy”, and we talked about that. And then she hugged my boyfriend and thanked him for coming with me and for always supporting me support her. I told her that I’m so incredibly happy to see that she is so happy and she thanked me so much for saying that and said that she knew I was happy too (and looked at my boyfriend) and that she was so happy for me too, and then we hugged again.

I asked her if she could sign my emergencypassport, that I bought just for that trip and she was like I’m so sorry but I cant do that because of rules, I really wish I could! And she hugged me again. And then she told me some stuff about the album that she didn’t tell earlier (but ofc I can’t tell you what) and we hugged again and then we took a picture all three of us and I asked if I could get a picture alone with her and she was like “yes of course sweetie!” And we hugged again. It was then our turn to leave and we said goodbye and I told her that I loves her and she told me that she loves me back and we hugged again for the hundredth time. When I got out I was so shaken up and in shook and I think her mom saw that because she just walked up to me and hugged me and told me that Taylor loves me and that she is so thankful that all us swifties always supports her. She also said that my hair was just like Taylors and I told her that Taylor said the same thing and we just talked for about 10 minutes before Tree told us that it was time for us to go downstairs and wait for our bus. Downstairs in her like gym we where all freaking out and sobbing and yeah…

Then we had to go to the bus and we got a bag with merch and on the bus everyone was like in shook and when we got back to our meeting point all our social media exploded as we told everyone what just had happened.

And that was the best evening in my entire life!

Thank you so much @taylorswift and @taylornation for this incredible and wonderful night. It was truly the most amazing night of my life. I’m just so happy that I got too meet the one person who I have been looking up to for 9 years and who always makes me wanna be a better person. I love you so much Taylor and I just wanted you to know that I’m forever grateful! ✨🌻💛

[jnuhoe]

dm me

request; can u make a fanfic bout me and chanwoo!!! ;))

- chanwoo x reader

- 1k+ , i was inspired by chanwoos love for baseball !!!!!! 

- “junchans sent a message.”

lowercase is intended

“what do you mean our seats got messed up?” a distressed look appears on the young man’s face. you were at a baseball game and you overheard the young guys complaining. you weren’t particularly interested in baseball but your morals just couldnt turn down your uncle who flew all the way down to your hometown and asked you to go watch a game with him.

“seriously yunhyeong, im so pissed. now i gotta sit with a stranger.” the young man complained to another young man with a fairer complexion and questionably smooth blonde hair. “now there chanwoo, it cant be that bad, i mean we’re still here right?”  chanwoo what a cute name, you thought to yourself. he is kind of cute as well hmm.

your uncle came back with calorie filled snacks and placed them in your lap, “eat up kid, this place is a rip off. can you believe $3.80 for a flippin hotdog?” you chuckled, you missed your uncle, you spent most of your childhood with him until he flew to london to further his studies. you were so glad he decided to come back to korea to live with you again.

the sound of a low grumble made you turn your head. isnt that the- the um chanwoo? he was unbelievably handsome up close. you watched as chanwoo threw his long body into the seat next to yours, “this seat isnt taken right, i dont want to move again.”  you stuttered for some reason “n-no.. it isnt.” chanwoo thought to himself.

well. 

at least the stranger’s cute.

-

“seriously?! my GOD Y/N DID YOU SEE THAT GUY? i cant believe he missed that throw!” the batter missed the ball and your uncle was downright about to get out of his seat and jump into the pit to beat the shit out of the batter. “right,” you held your arms out towards your uncle, “dude chill, theres another round.” somehow you felt chanwoo gaze on you but you decided to ignore it.

when your team scored, all of their fans stood up cheering, including chanwoo. “YO UNCLE THAT WAS AMAZING.” you werent interested at first but man the batter got his shit together and accomplished a home run. you and your uncle were jumping in victory until there was a sudden grip on your hand. “yunhyeong! oh my god did u see that he- oh crap sorry.. thought you were my friend.” chanwoo apologised as he scratched the back of his head and smiled at you. “nah its fine, it really was an amazing round though!” you smiled back, only to realize you were the only two still standing. “hey lovebirds! sit down! you’re blocking our view.” you both apologised and sat back down shyly.

“um..” chanwoo extended his arm, “im chanwoo” yeah i know, kinda overheard your heated argument. “im y/n! nice to meet you.” you flashed a friendly but in some way awkward smile at him, damn your social skills.

you didnt talk for the rest of the game until your team won with a score of 2-0 (a/n: tbh i dont know how baseball works dont attack me) “y/n! kid! since our team won, i’ll take you out to dinner as promised. i’ll go get the car. why dont you...” your uncle leaned in to whisper, “why dont you say goodbye to your friend, hes one heck of a catch.” your jaw dropped in disbelief, “UNCLE, whY WOULD YOU SAY-“ “SEE YA KID, BE QUICK.” and your uncle ran off.

you laughed and turned around to find chanwoo awkwardly standing at the steps looking for his friend. “hey um, chanwoo?” he turned his head almost immediately, “it was nice knowing you, i’ll see you around?” what the hell y/n? see you around?! you dont even know him that well! OK slowly walk away before this becomes even more awkward. you began to walk away to quickly escape the awkward atmosphere until chanwoo gently grabbed your wrist. “hey before you go, would you mind- um...” he coughed and rapped? ” givingmeyourinstagrambecauseiwouldreallylovetotalktoyou?”

you burst into a fit of laughter, “what??”.

“um- your instagram.. i would really like to know you more.” he scratched the back of his head. you exchanged usernames and parted ways.

-

you got into your uncles car and screamed into your hands. “HE ASKED FOR MY INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT OH MY GOD.” all your uncle could do was smile and shake his head, “don't get carried away now, he asked for your social medias. he didn't ask u to marry him.”

-

your phone vibrated and you took it out in anticipation, hoping its the tall brown haired handsome boy who dm-ed you.

junchans sent a message.

you let out a squeal and unlocked your phone.

-

junchans: hey!!! is this y/n?

y/u/n: sorry no

junchans: shit.. sorry

y/u/n: just kidding kid its me. whats up

junchans: so.. what are you doing tomorrow?

y/u/n: nothing much, probably gon sleep in till 1

y/u/n: omg are u askin me out

y/u/n: crap i shouldn't have asked that. if you aren't i'm gonna be embarrassed for life...

junchans: well yeah i am, catch a movie with me?

y/u/n: JDKSDK OKAY

junchans: wow you’re cute

wow you’re cute. he called me cute. cute?????? “UNCLE HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you ran out of the room and into the living room where your uncle was leisurely lying down on the couch next to your dog. “UNCLE you didnt ask but.. that chanwoo guy called me cute!”

“great, you should date him!”

“im catching a movie with him tomorrow, im freaking out !!!!!!!!”

“MARRY HIM.”

“UNCLE YOU ARE NOT HELPING. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? what should i say? WHY AM I nervous?! crap..”

your uncle stood up and dragged you into your room. he picked out a peculiarly cute outfit for you, “wear this, dont freak out and be yourself. now get to bed!”

-

you looked pretty cute honestly speaking. the oversized jumper tucked into a pair of mom jeans looked well on you and your hair looked okay! the universe is on your side! may this date? go well.

-

coincidentally, you took the same train as chanwoo so the both of you walked to mall together. the sweet boy decided to pay for your ticket as well, you were catching “it” together. the both of you werent good with horror movies but watched it anyways. throughout the whole movie, you held chanwoos forearm, slightly touchy for someone you just got to know but you really couldn’t stand the sight of the damn clown. 

he wasnt good with the jumpscares as well, occasionally he’d jump and spill popcorn, causing you to giggle. “THAT WAS.. slightly scary.” you laughed at chanwoos response, “i couldnt stand that clown, jeez its so scary... but it was a good film!” 

you could obviously tell there was a bit of tension between the two of you, i mean you weren't the kind to start conversations. the cold air brushed against you and you lift your scarf up higher to cover your chilly nose and you caught chanwoos eyes, he threw you a smile, a smile which obviously screams “this is kinda awkward because we aint talking! and you caught me looking at you so why don't i smile to attempt to kill this tense air!” but that smile kinda made you flush red and chanwoo could probably tell from his little giggle which again didn't fail to make you feel all tingly on the inside.

chanwoos soft but husky voice awoke you from your daydreaming.  

“can i walk you home? i mean thats what guys usually do on dates and its kinda late.” date... DAte?! DATE?!!! “yeah sure and im kinda afraid to go back on my own as well.” you admitted shyly.

while walking, chanwoos hand kept rubbing against yours and you dont know if you had gone completely bonkers but you slipped your hand into his. chanwoo turned hastily towards you, your cheeks heated up real bad so you turned away. his hand was so big, it was more like he was holding your hand. it felt was so warm that you forget frosty weather that engulfed your city.

you didn't feel like letting go.

“well. we’re home. i mean i’m home.” damn it y/n. chanwoo laughed and unwillingly let go of your hand. “i had fun y/n, thanks for the date. i’ll call you out again sometime.” he winked and turned around to walk away but your voice stopped him in his tracks.

 “wait! chanwoo!” he turned around, “ i winked at you! you're not suppose to call me back, its embarrassing..” you giggled and asked, “can i borrow your phone?” he was confused but passed you his phone anyway, “you’re not gonna steal my phone or something right.” 

you laughed out loud, “nah but instead of always popping up in my dms, why dont you text me instead.” this time you winked and gave him back his phone, with chanwoos jaw slightly agape, you chuckled and unlocked the door to your apartment and waved a last goodbye to the tall handsome boy.

-

i finally posted something !!!! i wrote this quite some time ago and finally edited it, let me know if you liked it and what you think? my message box is always open! ✲ﾟ｡(✿)ﾉ☆.₀:*ﾟ✲ﾟ*

(and again i apologise for such a delay.. lifes kinda a bitch)

[dykedykegooses]

i'm askin u every single even numbered question for the lesbian ask game

at least you didnt bother with the algebra this time, for which i am thankful

Femme or butch?

i’m more femme but i try to act butch sometimes and i just end up failing hopelessly. ‘look mom i know how to put air in a tire!!’ ‘peyton thats like… not even right’ or ‘oh SHIT look at that blitz!! that was cool’ ‘peyton that was a sack’ ‘oh’

Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

not really, mostly just like… humor. if u funny we click

Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

why not both?

no but seriously plaid tbh

Describe your style

um yes

converse, (ripped? sometimes) jeans, and whatever top i feel is appropriate for the Big Aesthetic today

Describe your aesthetic

yes

ive tried going more punk but its just kinda , not worked

my physical aesthetic is very adultolescent. i got chub and look like a freshman but ive been told i pass as a college senior so like

my Big Mood aesthetic is yes

Favorite article of clothing?

either my converse or my “”combat boots”” (theyre not and it makes me sound like an edgelord just saying that) (can you tell im gay)

OH WAIT I FORGOT ABOUT MY JEAN JACKET its like baggy and light and ive started sewing patches from my favorite bands on it (super punk right)

Favorite pair of shoes?

^^^

oh my black strappy heels, theyre surprisingly comfortable

Current haircut?

ive got a bleached bob rn

Any haircut goals for the future?

i kinda want a pixie cut bc i cant handle long hair however long hair is so PRETTY and wow

Describe the best date you’ve been on

iiiiiiiiii dont really know. ive been on very few. i have a Perfect Date in mind, and i guess my favorite was my first date with my ex. we had gotten back from a successful science competition (HAVE I MADE IT OBVIOUS IM A NERD YET IM A BIG OL NERD) and it was like midnight by the time we got back and we were both starving so we went to taco bell and just sat there talking and laughing and i know we were pissing off the staff, but we stayed til like two in the morning and we went home and honestly we both considered it a date but we didnt like… tell each other it was a date? if that makes sense? idk honestly im triggered

Describe the worst date you’ve been on

ugh oh god i went on a tinder date and this girl like in the DMs was like ‘hey do u smoke weed’ and im like ‘lol no’ and then like we made plans to meet up at a coffee shop and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed and im like……………. no and shes like ‘oh right lol’ well THIS BITCH sleeps through the time we were supposed to meet, completely stands me up, and then texts me back like an hour later and was like ‘omg im sorry i overslept!!!’ and it was like….. noon but ok so we meet up after my class and we just sit there really awkwardly trying to make conversation and she asks me AGAIN if i smoke weed im like ‘honey no i dont’ and we just talked about drugs for a while and when i left because i had to gtfo she like gave me an awkward hug and like i sent a text later that night bc im courteous and im like ‘hey i had a great time today’ (i didnt) ‘lmk if you ever want to meet up again!!’ and she just. ignored me lol.

Single? Taken?

im currently in a polyamorous relationship with myself and my anxiety

If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

:)

If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

someone who’s able to make me laugh and deal with my bad ideas and will let me cook for her and wants to travel the world with me

Describe your dream wedding

its small. outside. maybe in a field or in front of a lake. i dont personally want a big ballgown, just a short white dress will do. lavenders everywhere. R A I N B O W  C A K E. reception where we slow dance to all the sappy romance songs. its great.

Do you want kids?

not really, but ive considered being a foster parent. i feel like im here to do good; i don’t want to have my own biological children, and im not sure i want to have the permanent responsibility of adopting a kid, but i feel i could handle fostering once we’re financially stable and have the room to accept children into our home.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

spain, definitely. somewhere in the north. i want to have a small farm with goats and chickens and vegetables and i want to be away from this american mess.

Favorite lesbian movie?

well ysee…………. the only two explicitly lesbian movies ive seen have been ‘all about E’ and ‘blue is the warmest color’ and i didnt like either of the lmfaoooo i prefer watching lesbian television shows tbqh (or, most commonly, just rewriting all the female characters in my head to be sapphic sooooooo dont @ me)

Favorite lesbian novel/story?

i mean same as above, i dont read as much as i like to. however, i did read “georgia peaches and other forbidden fruit” and that was Really Good and i did read another that was slightly better, but i forget the name but it was about a pakistani (?) girl who was struggling to come out to her parents bc they were very traditionalist but she joins the theater and her like really elite school and the girl she had a crush on basically outs her and is a bitch about it and GOD i wish i could remember it because it was really good

Favorite lesbian song?

ummmmmmmmmmmm i just recently listened to ‘honey’ by kehlani and that was pretty good and pretty gay, but my personal favorite is ‘girls’ by beatrice eli bc holy shit what a Mood

Favorite lesbian musician?

i love mary lambert and beatrice eli.

What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

ummmmm now that im thinking of them i cant think of any. i used to play softball and soccer? i love cats. i immediately start planning out the next five years of our lives together anytime im remotely interested in a girl?

Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i mean………………. no

If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

well bake cookies w me and lets go for a walk & go out and watch the stars at night in the bed of a truck

Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

I LOVE LOVING GIRLS!!!!!! I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN!!!!!! GIRLS ARE FANTASTIC!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!

Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

why not both

idk ive never had a cat but i know i lov them

Turn ons?

i.......... dont know

yes

im gay

Turn offs?

long nails youch theyre pretty to look at but i mean at what price

not having anything to talk about

putting yourself down like a lot (i went on a date w this one girl and that was all she did like the entire date like......... im sorry ? :(???)

Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

if im being honest i would love for someone to ask me out but since that is Very Unlikely, i tend to be the one to message first and initiate dates and stuff

What is your dream career?

i want to be a psychological researcher in the field of social comparative psychology how sick is that!!!!! just play with dogs all day and record whether or not they boop their noses on a screen

also i wanna be a farmer and a bookstore owner but thats Farther down the line like , when im 50

Talk about your interests or hobbies!

im honestly such a psych nerd i love psychology what the fuck!! its so interesting like ppl are weird man idk brains are weird

im also having a really big green day phase like billie .. he so smol... and also anyone who wants to bash warning or the trilogy can fight me ok those are like My Favorite Albums

im going to a concert in february to see declan mckenna, a Giant Meme

im getting a tattoo w some lyrics of declan’s actually its gonna be sick

What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

yes

idk for me its being able to have quick, witty, skillful jokes i just love listening to girls talk and tell stories and jokes like wow im gay

also long curly hair? thats always a Solid Look

Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

i mean. do we really wanna open this can of worms rn

too late, its open

i get those microcrushes where you like see a girl and youre like ‘WOW IM GAY DATE ME’ however once it comes to actually being in a relationship i throw my full weight behind it and worry that im being too suffocating or that im pushing my boundaries etc and ive been told that makes me come off really cold and uncaring so lol choose ur own adventure, you decide

Ever fallen for your best-friend?

unfortunately

Ever fallen for a straight girl?

can you even call yourself a lesbian if you havent

The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

i havent seen it, im such a fake lesbian

Favorite comfort food?

mac n cheese

or pizza

or cheesy potatos

OR CHEESY TOAST

scientific conclusion: im a fatass

Coffee or tea?

coffer

Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

im vegetarian!! have been on and off for like two years now

Do you have any pets?

i have one pup sittin right next to me and shes the prettiest girl in the world

Early-riser or night-owl?

yes

idk i get up at like 9 which is early for me but not as early as like. 5. so

more like night-owl. thanks teenage hormones!

What is your sign?

pisces

Can you drive?

yes

can i drive well?

no

but i do have a sense of direction so thats cool

Who was your first lesbian crush?

tbh.................... my best friend, but i didnt realize it was a crush at the time

the first Gay Crush i had that i knew was a crush was on my close friend at the time, now my ex girlfriend

At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

uhhhhhhhhhh lesbian specifically, like 15-16. queer, i knew in like fall semester freshman year (so like 13??)

At what age did you come out (if you have)?

i mean, i come out to people all the time. first time i came out explicitly as a lesbian was when i was like 15 or 16 (actually i came out to a close straight friend and my ex and they both said ‘congrats’ like it was weird but very nice) and the first time i came out as queer/questioning was to my then-best friend at like 13 and i came out to my mom (involuntarily) at like 17? ish?

Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

yes im crushing on every girl simultaneously at all times

just kidding

(not really)

i dont really have any explicit crushes that i can think of im just really gay

Talk about how your day went

it was fine. got free froyo so that was cool. found out i made an A on my bio practical, so that was cool too. however, i wore a crop top and it was like 55 degrees out and raining so i looked like a total Idiot but yk follow ur slutty gay dreams amiright ladies

Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

most of mine are career-centric, but a few are personal.

i wanna go to costa rica in may, i wanna go to yale over the summer, i wanna go to NYC pride in june, i wanna go to spain after i graduate, i wanna go to grad school, i wanna be a psychological researcher, i wanna move to spain or england or hell even france, i wanna have my own farm with the woman i love, i wanna own an LGBT bookstore/library, i wanna just live a quiet life near the sea and not have to worry so much after a while.

Least favorite gay celebrity?

this is a weird one to end on, but iiiiiiim not sure i have one? i can tell you ellen page is probably my favorite, but i cant think of many i dislike so

[watcr]

Rules 🟡 About 🟡 Bio & Misc

DISCLAIMER: This is not intended by any means to be an entirely serious rp blog. This is originally based based in Grand Theft Auto 5. And was created in a custom Grand Theft Auto Online server by Markiplier and thusly portrayed by him whilst he played. If anything this is a Crack!Role Play blog that looks well put together Face claim and all but I'm really just here for rediculous interactions and wild hijinks with a clueless dad delivery man. That being said: any backstory and the creation/ videos/ acting itself belongs to Markiplier. I'm simply just writing a character that I enjoy and makes me laugh.

Please Note: This blog will still contain highly suggestive content and situations with a comedic take on them. This includes being robbed, murder, drug use, hostage situations and then some. I mean-- Stan was made in Grand Theft Auto.

RULES/ General Info:

This is a side blog to my main: mxrkedfordeath

Para/ Novella writing length

Primarily dash/mobile profile

18+ no ifs ands or special cases

Again: this is a Satirical/Crack/Meme role play blog. Expect rediculous things to be said and done

NSFW present/ Friendly

Non-Selective; as mentioned above I created this blog for fun. If any of this meme I have created interests you please feel free to send me a DM or ask and let's see what wild hijinks we can get Stan into huh?

Although the voice is provided by an internet personality that is where this ends. I am still uncomfortable with interacting with blogs that portray real life people or influencers/ internet celebrities. I'm not going to have Stan rob someone with a celebrity that is real. It's...its uncomfortable.

Considering my reason I made this blog and the nature of it, random starters or asks are welcome! If it's a weird situation, place or even different universe I will make That Water Boi lore friendly.

That being said however: please do not include oneself in a thread that you are not involved in.

Absolutely no personal blogs

OC friendly

Crossover/AU friendly

No Godmodding

No hate/ harrassment

Multimuse and Sideblog friendly

Unless featured or seen in the Stan The Water Man videos by Markiplier there will be no preestablished anything. Unless it is Kiki, or Jimmy Stan does not know you and this naive man child will greet you very horribly as he always does.

Shipping: I do allow it but dont think its going to be very serious either. When he sees you ladies? Its literally hitting the jackpot if you get more than a few words that are even close to coherent. So yes. If you wanna simp or thirst over stan that's cool just know that his skull is thicker than a military bunker wall.

•Memes, asks, and shitposting alike is pretty much this whole blog. Stan is a sweetie but hes not close to being the uh... brightest bulb in the box.

About:

Stan or Stanley Wheeler is a 39 year old delivery man and a family man. He strives to please those around him with wonderful water and his company.

Still a delivery man with his new life after a difficult divorce and loss of custody of his "Sweet baby boy Roy" he focuses on bettering his life as a means to be reunited with his son.

He is always well hydrated and firmly believes in comfort and efficiency instead of style.

(About if you stumbled into this shit show):

This is a role play blog for an original character created by Markiplier in a custom Role Playing server for Grand Theft Auto V. It's quite literally a chaotic whirlwind where the main protagonist is a 39 year old divorcee whose love for water is concerning... but not so much as the mans gullible nature and far to generous personality.

This is really only a summation because there are literal HOURS of videos of Markiplier playing Grand Theft Auto and being the voice of Stan Wheeler during his adventures in Los Santos. It features amazing improv and the ever expected rediculous chaos that ensues in Grand Theft Auto.

Bio:

Name: Stanley Wheeler

Gender/Gender Identity: Male

Age: 39

Face Claim: Chris Evans

Voice Claim: Marikplier/ Mark Fischbach

Romantic/ Sexual Preferences: Questioning/ Unsure

Nick names: Fanny pack, Water boy, Sunflower

Personality: Generous, Optimistic, Friendly, Oblivious, Awkward, Curious, Helpful, Trusting

Occupation: Courier, Delivery Man/Boy, Water Delivery Man

Favorite Color(s): Blue & Yellow

Likes: Water, Fanny Packs, Sunflowers, Biking, Work, His Son

Dislikes: Coffee & Soda, Lying, Fighting, Talking to women (watch the episodes to know)

Hobbies: Biking, Boating, Spending time with his son, Meeting new people

Quirks/ Other Traits: Has a strong....Love for water, Suffers from a yet to be diagnosed but constant seizing of bodily muscles that occasionally cause harm, A REAL Virgin 'Dad', Amazing at lockpicking, Terrible Driver

Final Note/ Disclaimer: Again, although this blog is for fun from a truly chaotic and hilarious improvised playthrough of a unique online role playing server for Grand Theft Auto V, please REMEMBER what game Markiplier created and voiced Stan in. Just because Stan is clueless doesnt mean the subject matter is. A lot of dark humor and shady if not bad situations arise in Mark's videos and I really do want people to know that although this is all in good fun the dark unfiltered comedy of Grand Theft Auto is still going to be followed in this portrayal. That means Stanely would very well (and has) ended up robbing people, kidnapping, Killing people or being an accomplice, Jokes based upon sexuality, Gender and then some. Of course before writing I will ALWAYS discuss subject matter that you would like to avoid but unless stated the aforementioned or to those whom have watched the adventures of Stanley know just how inappropriate and harsh/blunt/in your face comedy that is present.

Not only one final disclaimer as to how nsfw Stanley's life and choices end up being-- but giving credit is where it is due; Markiplier. He literally Created Stanley Wheeler and his uh... well him. And brought Stan to life via voice and gameplay. Stan never is and never was mine he's just a character.

Mun absolutely DOES NOT ≠ Muse

Stanley Wheeler-- is an idiot that makes horrible decisions and let's horrible things happen around him. I do not reflect any of the jokes or encounters featured in the gameplay series. I just so happen to enjoy comedy (albeit quite a bit can be not PC) and a good story. Literally this blog came out of a joke my best friend made at 4 am after binging Stan The Water man saying I should make a role play blog for Stanley Wheeler. And so? I did.

Important Note: Activity and response time

Updated: 04/10/2020

I made this blog for myself for fun and the same goes for the people I meet/ interact with. It will be sporadic at best. If I feel like it expect meme or shitpost worthy spamming of the Water Delivery Dad we got but never deserved.

Neither my main nor is Stan a job. Quite bluntly most times when I go inactive I'm literally just doing something else. Anything else.

That ties in to the fact that although I am non selective I am still allowed to say no. And expect reciprocated respect if I say no for ANY reason. I dont owe anyone anything and just like everyone else here this is for fun and enjoyment purposes. This is not our job, and we have nothing forcing us to do this.

But - I am fine with a poke at me and my noggin' every once in a while. I do a lot of things and I cant even remember where I put my vape or phone after 5 minutes. That means I forget. And I do. A LOT. And I can admit that.

MUN & MUSE RULE ZERO: Absolutely no Drama, Vaguing, Callouts, Harassment, Hate or insults/ criticizing on how you THINK the muse I write SHOULD BE.

I'm chill. And I legit hate social confrontation to the point I cry in front of people face to face if it is too much, too hurtful, too angering.

I don't care if someone said something shady our of character that one time or that you think an individual deserves to be directly blasted in front of numerous people.

I dont care if you think that just because I wrote a characters sexual or gender identity outside of what you like.

I dont care how many times you ask or dm me to respond or plot when I had already respectfully declined.

Of course hate and harassment is something I do care for-- because its quite literally just pure toxicity. If you do this you will be ignored and blocked or even reported depending upon when transpired.

All I ask is to be treated kindly in return as I treat everyone until I am given reason not to. That's it. Literally. I am 22 years old and have no patience for any of the aforementioned.

Quite frankly to me it's childish and quite often comedic or petty in my eyes to even have callouts and vauging exist.

I am only addressing this because of the years and various muses canon and original alike I have been harassed for interactions, sent honestly some pretty vile anons, and plenty of messages telling me "X is actually supposed to be gay." Or "no actually they dont like X", I've been called out for literally some of the most childish reasons and my being honest and blunt upset people-- or the word 'No' was not existent in their vocabulary.

And finally-- if for any reason in the RPC someone I am Mutuals/ Mains/ Friends with or just an acquaintance I like talking lore with is involved in any drama I do not want to hear it nor do I care if it does not directly involve me. In fact even then I dont want to unless said person comes to me privately and talks like an adult should rather than throwing a tantrum behind your laptop because someone said an awful word, or beliefs were disliked-- literally any reason or post of a callout. I'm not here for it.

If there is EVER a problem dont be afraid to message me PRIVATELY and talk it out like two mature adults. If I did something to upset you? Let me know I want this blog ESPECIALLY to be for the sake of laughs. Has it been a good month since my last reply? Just send me a lil' hey or just check in. Have I not replied? Its probably just me as the Mun having an awful attention span for anything that isn't hands on.

The Mun:

Look I know the novel above for one singular subject is actually very unfortunately neccessary for me.

My career and as a person have me not only practically programmed but I am openly blunt/ "real" with people.

I am not going to say something you want to hear. You might not like my saying no to a thread but my goal is to be honest and respectful to everyone.

And not only that I'm tired of not covering my ass and trying to pretend this doesn't happen to me behind the scenes or on blast for all to see.

If I plan on sending a private message apologizing for an upsetting subject I wrote of or simply discussing conflicts/ issues privately I hope to god that you who are reading this has the same common courtesy.

Regardless if my blunt sometimes told "Too much" honesty is why I disclose my absolute refusal to negative interactions I really am chill - and occasionally way too excitable or talkative.

I really do love meeting plenty of new people and writers alike in the role playing community as a whole and very much enjoy trying new plots/ ideas out unless it is unreasonable to the plot.

If you wanna just be meme traders for a fellow beloved Fandom or RPC? Ok. I'll try to find some just as good to make the meme trade a fair one.

You wanna make a thread all about how gullible a muse is? Sure!

Maybe even send a thirsty or shitpost worthy ask? 100%

Or do you just have a question about the Muse/Mun/ Or Writing? Go ahead!

I love and live for the angst and self authored stories to Headcanons or missed plot points on muses. The ways so many different types of relationships between characters form and change. But I would also smash the yes button if someone asked me how I felt if someone swung into the ask Simping on lovely Water Boy? Go for it because again; fun. Let's cackle over his style choices or his horribly abused kindess/ trust.

I'm a human guys let's not worry about anything else but the fact we're all here for the same thing: and that's fun and enjoyment as well as having an ability to flex our creative side. It doesnt matter how fantastic or bad (This mun right here) is at edits manips or coding for the theme. We all learn and grow and I just wanna have a good time and I'm sure every normal person that's not a psychopath wants to have a happy healthy safe and fun environment for roleplay/writing.

Thank you for reading this if you did. Any questions? Want Stan to be your water bottle toting and Fanny Pack Efficiency having man get stuck in a plot with your muse? Feel free to hmu send in an ask or meme etc.

I dont bite unless someone bites me with their attitude. I look forward to meeting/interacting/and memeing with everyone.