#note: edie does not play the character on the left!

[nessa007]

this is so funny 😂

[mccoyyy]

moving this to my new blog so I can pin it again lol

@stregoni-benefici you are completely correct but I just wanted to expand on this a little bit - also i’m putting this under a read more cause this got a lot longer than i originally thought it would be

sexism: smeyers treatment of female characters throughout the entire series is extremely problematic. like you don’t even need to read deep into the books to see that. the backstories of all her female characters all involve some form of trauma and are significantly more violent than the male vampires (Rosalie and Esme enduring physical/sexual assault meanwhile Edward dies of the flu and Emmett gets vibe checked by a bear).

she also creates the idea that a woman isn’t complete without children/being a mother. every female vampire in the series is desperate for children yet can’t, its mentioned in pretty much every book and extreme emphasis is placed on how tragic this is. a female character wanting children isn’t wrong or sexist at all but the way its written in twilight makes it seem like its something a woman has to do in order to be happy and smeyer pretty much cements this idea by making Bella suddenly desperate to have Renesmee despite showing no interest in children/audibly voicing her thoughts against having children in eclipse and the start of breaking dawn (i’m pretty sure Bella has a line of dialogue in the books where she says something like she didn’t realise it was something she wanted/needed until it happened bit I’m not sure I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

there’s also the way she writes female characters, specifically Rosalie. its mentioned throughout the series that Rosalie has extreme mechanical skills and multiple degrees in STEM fields but its barely ever shown, and instead her characterisation focuses on being obsessed with her looks (first couple pages of this, written by smeyer for new moon), and being a ‘stereotypical bitch’. for the first three books most of her character/dialogue is based on being cold and rude to Bella. She is unnecessarily painted as the villain for having different views on Bella (quite literally) giving up her life and future to be with a man (which is a whole other can of worms). the same is done to the character of Leah in eclipse/breaking dawn. Leah is a woman in the Quileute Tribe, she has been severely affected by the Cullen’s presence in the area and is painted as a character that the reader is supposed to dislike simply because she doesn’t like Bella/the Cullen’s despite having extremely valid reasons not to

anti-Native - smeyers treatment of native tribes is horrendous. she has profited fr years off of of native american culture for years and has done so without any acknowledgements. furthermore, she also demonises native american teens (especially in new moon) by calling them wild, violent, dangerous and out of control and then uses these stereotypes to create a contrast between the self control and patience of the Cullen’s and make them seem more like the good guys, and the wolf pack being lesser. She does this again with the treatment of Jacobs character in new moon and especially eclipse.

Jacob starts off in new moon as Bella’s best friend. he helps Bella come out of a severe depression caused when Edward left at the start of the book. however in eclipse his character makes a complete flip and he becomes moody, temperamental, argumentative and disrespectful of Bella’s boundaries. his character becomes unrecognisable and despite smeyers claims of a love triangle, it is obvious what the outcome will be. I have seen countless instances of people on this site claiming they hate Jacob because he is a dick/disrespectful/just as unhealthy as Edward. this was done on purpose by smeyer as she uses Jacob to make Edward seem like the obvious and correct choice for Bella. if you need more proof of this, take the scene where Jacob kisses Bella without her consent and she breaks her hand when punching him, Edward swoops in and almost gets into a fight with Jacob for touching Bella without her consent. this is an obvious attempt to make Jacob seem like the villain and Edward the white saviour

there’s also the treatment of the native characters by the white characters in the books. multiple times in the series, the native characters are called/compared to dogs/brutes and have a distinct unpleasant smell. I don’t think I need to explain how this is racist. the pack also helps the Cullen’s/saves Bella’s lives and never receive any acknowledgement/are treated any better by the Cullen’s/anyone really. the pack are only ever used as a way to make the Cullen’s look better.

there’s also some pretty obvious similarities to colonisation with the Cullen’s entering Quiluete lands which then forces them to start phasing into wolves (and I’m pretty sure none of the pack actually want to start phasing). also, remember Leah? the only female member of the wolf pack? because of the change she effectively can’t have children? that has implications.

and to top it all off, after doing all that, smeyer has never once addressed this or even acknowledged the Quileute Tribe.

pedophilic - I mean even without mentioning breaking dawn its pretty awful. first of all you’ve got the blatant sexualisation of minors throughout the entire series. Edward is 17 throughout the series and smeyer is writing literal paragraphs about his chiselled abs. Jacob is 16/17 when she has him running about forks topless with a 6 pack. this is way more apparent in the movies but its still a huge issue in the books and lead to Taylor Lautner being confronted by adult fans trying to get him to sign their underwear, and being forced into being shirtless for most of the movies which made him extremely uncomfortable (Elizabeth Reaser (Esme) briefly talks about this in the ID10T podcast on spotify). and just as a reminder, Taylor was 16 when the first one was filmed and 17 for the second.

Breaking Dawn is a whole other can of worms. the glaringly obvious issue is Jacob imprinting on a literal newborn baby. now the concept of imprinting itself has racist elements to it, but its heavily implied in the series that imprinting will inevitably lead to a romantic relationship. Jacob imprinting on Renesmee and waiting until she is old enough to enter into a romantic relationship (never mind the fact that shes ‘old enough’ she will still technically be 5) is pretty much grooming. The same happens with Quil and his imprint, Claire (a two year old) where I’m pretty sure there’s a scene in breaking dawn where Jacob and Leah are watching Quil play with Claire and talking about how Quil isn’t going to date anyone because he and Claire are ‘pretty much inevitable’ (i might be wrong though, like I said I try not to read/think about breaking dawn)

smeyer has also written a spin off book (its like 250 odd pages) called the short second life of Bree Tanner (Bree is that newborn vampire killed after the battle in eclipse by the Volturi btw). In this book, Bree is 15 almost 16, and another character Diego is 18 which is definitely pushing the boundaries of ok. (also as a side note, funny how Bree and Jacob are literally the same age and smeyer states multiple times how Bree deserved better and is only a child (who straight up kills people), yet when it comes to Jacob he has to be a responsible adult and is vilified for every mistake he makes)

racist - smeyer refused to let Catherine Hardwicke (director of the first twilight) have a diverse cast because she ‘imagined them a certain way’ (white) and it was a fight to get Edi Gathegi cast as Laurent and had to compromise with smeyer to make Bella’s friend group more diverse. this woman straight up refused to hire more diverse actors and only agreed to when they were side characters/villains.

Also in the official companion book/guide to twilight, smeyer literally writes that vampire venom makes you white

‘the venom leeches all pigmentation from the skin into a more indestructable vampire form…regardless of original ethnicity a vampires skin will be exceptionally pale’ (official illustrated guide pg.69)

this is a whole lot of bullshit cause she is literally whitewashing characters, but when you pair this with the idea that vampires possess inhuman levels of beauty it becomes extremely problematic and implies that being pale/white is more beautiful than darker skin tones.

also, if we go back to Laurent’s character for a second. so Laurent is one of the only characters who isn’t described as white (in the books he is described as having a pale olive skin tone) and in the first book he comes across as pretty reasonable (warning carlisle about James/Victoria, travels up to Denali and tries out the veggie lifestyle) but in new moon, his characterisation pulls a 180° (sensing a theme here) and is suddenly trying to kill Bella as a favour to Victoria and is Evil™ despite in the first book he literally says to Carlisle he didn’t particularly like travelling with James/Victoria and was only really doing it for convenience. where did this undying loyalty come from? yet again, smeyer is completely disregarding established characterisation in POC characters specifically to villainise them.

and finally, we have Jasper. for some reason (that reason being that she is racist) smeyer decides to make Jasper a confederate soldier in his human life. if you don’t have a lot of knowledge on the american civil war, the confederacy were the side of the US that seceded from the union in order to keep their slaves. Jasper was a confederate soldier, and not just any soldier, but a major. Jasper was a major in an army that fought for 4 years to keep the existence of slavery (and don’t even try to say that slavery wasn’t the root cause of the civil war. states rights aye? states rights to do what). now there’s an argument out there made by certain fans that a lot of people joined the confederate army out of pride/were forced into it cause of conscription to try and head canon the racism away but like that doesn’t matter. there was literally no need to make jasper a confederate in the first place. if she was so desperate to have a civil war vampire then she could have made him a member of the union. its been common knowledge that the confederacy was racist for a long time now, smeyer has absolutely no excuses here.

a lot of these issues overlap and I have probably missed heaps of issues (so feel free to add on) but hope this helps explain why smeyer can *ahem* get tae absolute fuck

[gascon-en-exil]

Who Can Say if I've Been Changed For the Better?: Ferdibert Does Wicked

This concept has been a bit in building. It started from a much-loved cover by Hubert and Ferdinand’s VAs inspired by their support line and the broad observation that these two are a musicals couple who absolutely would sing their feelings in all manner of theatrical AUs. It continued through my later observation that there’s ample material to carry that idea even further, albeit with a shift outside of Crimson Flower for a better tonal match. Still, I’m not quite sure what to call this project; it’s not really a headcanon nor is it fanfic by any means. I’ve written a handful of longform character/narrative explorations before, although when it comes to FE I’ve previously been inspired to do so only for Jugdral characters. That setting is somehow both underdeveloped and deceptively dense - and I suppose in a way you could say the same of Three Houses as well, insofar as it’s been incredibly popular for fan content of all sorts.

Regardless of what this post is in terms of my fandom output, the following isn’t exactly a Wicked AU as such. Rather, it’s how I would envision a hypothetical blend of the non-CF routes of FE16 centering around the Eagles trio and set to the structure and songs of the musical as organically as possible. There are no 1:1 analogues with characters and plotlines from Wicked, because few if any would exist without a lot of tweaking; to use the VA cover example, Ferdinand might be a decent proxy for G(a)linda, but the mere presence of Edelgard substantially complicates Hubert’s claim to the Elphaba role. The similarities only unravel further from there, but I did my best.

Writing this out gave me the opportunity to play around with Edelgard’s character as a way of addressing what I and many others in my circle have long considered to be some of the major problems with her canon presentation. For Ferdibert meanwhile I got to make use of my headcanons for how their relationship would develop outside of their support line, in a way that mostly preserves Hubert’s delightful evil wickedness. Add some ruminations on how one would splice together the non-CF routes in a dramatically satisfying fashion, some snark directed at the non-character of Byleth, and a bit of background Dimidue/Lions OT5 for spice and that just about sums it up. Enjoy this…whatever this is.

Act I

“No One Mourns the Wicked”

The show opens on the citizens of Adrestia celebrating the death of their emperor and the end of her bloody war. Ferdinand rides in, resplendent on his steed, and is hailed as the new Duke Aegir as he relates to the crowd the news of Edelgard’s death at the hands of the combined army of liberators. The “Are people born wicked?” flashback sequence is replaced with a summary mostly in pantomime of Edelgard’s backstory: the Insurrection, her being taken to Faerghus and then returning, and then being experimented on by the Agarthans before agreeing to work with them. Notably Hubert is not named or referenced anywhere in this song, appearing only as a boy at Edelgard’s side at appropriate times during the flashback.

“Dear Old Shiz”

Someone in the crowd finally brings up Hubert, the emperor’s vile and murderous minister, and accuses Ferdinand of having been his friend. With Ferdinand even more flustered than Glinda since his “It depends on what you mean by friend” definitely carries sexual undertones, so begins the flashback to Part 1. There’s an equivalent intro of Garreg Mach, so one may feel free to insert any headcanons for school songs here. The following dialogue scene establishes the student body in general and the dynamic of the Eagles trio in particular: Ferdinand pompous and eager to one-up Edelgard at any opportunity, and Edelgard and Hubert cold and dismissive toward his antics and just about everyone else for that matter. Edelgard is instantly enamored of the quiet new professor, of course. Because the room assignment conflict doesn’t make a lot of sense with the monastery’s setup, instead Ferdinand is incensed that Edelgard is chosen as the Eagles’ house leader over him even though it’s been ages since a Hresvelg has attended. Neither Nessarose nor Morrible has an exact equivalent (although Seteth can act in Morrible’s role as the academy’s main authority figure), so the segue into the next song ends there.

“The Wizard and I”

Now alone together, Edelgard and Hubert have a brief dialogue outlining their villainous plans for the school year. This establishes Hubert’s hypercompetency but also how detached and professional Edelgard is around him. Then comes the song, now “My Lady and I,” which serves as Hubert’s character introduction. In tones more sinister than Elphaba ever reaches - you know he’d have fun with “When people see me they will scream” - he outlines his history with his lady, that he delights in serving her because she validates his work ethic and gives him an outlet for his ruthlessness and cruelty. Where Elphaba fantasizes about the Wizard removing her green skin, Hubert instead goes full Nice Guy, believing that once he’s given Edelgard her continental empire and crushed all her enemies she’ll be so grateful that of course she’ll put out for him.

“What Is This Feeling?”

You could rip the tone of this one directly from the Ferdibert C support and change nothing - homoerotic subtext included. I like the thought of Hubert replacing Elphaba’s deadpan one-word summation of Galinda with a mocking imitation of Ferdinand's most memetic line: "He is Ferdinand von Aegir!". The chorus can be made up of any number of other students excluding Edelgard, who’d happily agree that Hubert is ugly, creepy, and downright unpleasant.

“Something Bad”

The content of this song and surrounding scenes would have to be completely altered, but they work as a necessary reminder that the plot of Part 1 is still going on in the background of all the school drama. Seteth runs through the major events up to Chapter 9 of the game, including the bandit threat, Flayn’s kidnapping, and the experiments on the Remire villagers. The audience/accompaniment for this exposition dump ought to be Dimitri and Claude with Byleth as a silent observer (more on them later), with Edelgard brushing off the news and eventually being the one to shut down the song as Morrible does. There could be some small side character moments in here as well particularly involving the Lions and Deer since they get so little focus in this story.

“Dancing Through Life”

Speaking of which, this was an awkward sequence to place. It matches up chronologically with the ball in Chapter 9 and the main part, Fiyero’s, is a dead ringer for Sylvain and his flirty, hedonistic nihilism (“Nothing matters / but knowing nothing matters!”), but it’s hard to tie into what’s going on with the Eagles trio particularly with the Ferdibert timeframe preserved, i.e. unlike Elphaba and Galinda they don’t become closer until after the timeskip.

As such I see this song as an opportunity for little vignettes with the other students: Dimitri angry over how Dedue’s talked about and hoping they can share a dance (fitting contrast with the coldness of Edelbert), Felix prickly between Dimitri’s recent outbursts and Sylvain’s showboating, Claude hinting toward the bigger picture with Hilda flitting between her excitement over the dance and knowing more than she's letting on, Dorothea casually taking note of Edelgard’s fascination with Byleth (see just below), Bernadetta as a wallflower who doesn’t want to be disturbed (a setup for Act II), etc. Thanks to one of the Forging Bonds events in Heroes I had the thought that the "You/we deserve each other" through line that later gets attached to Nessarose can become one for Dimitri's relationships, with Felix initially throwing it out at him and Dedue and the two of them then turning "We deserve each other" into a romantic line...and then an ironic one and finally a triumphant one come Act II, by that point with Felix et al included as well.

I’m not sure that the following scene of Galinda and Elphaba bonding on the dance floor really needs an equivalent, although it could be altered to something Edeleth-related. In any case Ferdinand ought to get a dance scene of some nature, so he can try to show up Edelgard as he brags about in canon.

“Popular”

It would be a travesty to have a musical starring FE16’s cast and not give Dorothea and/or Manuela a solo. This song works quite well for the former, and it doesn’t intrude on the Ferdibert development with the aforementioned timeframe and how the lightly sapphic vibe doesn’t translate well to two guys. Dorothea has taken note of her good friend Edie’s crush on their mysteriously wooden professor, and she senses the opportunity for a makeover. Not as exaggerated as Dorothea trying to make over Hubert, naturally, but I still think this works out well. Also, Galinda’s observation on leaders, “Did they have brains or knowledge? / Don’t make me laugh! They were popular!”, is darkly comedic when said to Edelgard.

“I’m Not That Girl”

This song comes with preceding dialogue scenes for setup, so those first. Edelgard emerges fresh from her makeover (given her general hot for teacher fixation, I’m thinking she’d lean pretty hard on the naughty schoolgirl look) to Byleth silently grieving Jeralt’s death - bad timing there. She’s as callous about it as she is in canon, only now with more clumsy flirting, and while it’s impossible as always to tell if Byleth notices or cares Hubert most certainly does. The scene segues into the Eagles trio together, with Edelgard alluding to the upcoming events in the Sealed Forest and indicating that Hubert should meet up with her later for some more villainous scheming after he’s ditched Ferdinand. Ferdinand, indignant about being left out of the loop as he is in canon, grumpily points out that he was a much more splendid dancer at the ball than Edelgard, makeover or not. To his utter surprise, Hubert acknowledges that this is true before leaving. This leads into the actual song, altered from homoerotic via triangulation of desire to an outright sexual awakening for Ferdinand. He realizes that part of his jealousy toward Edelgard is that he wishes Hubert were devoted to him instead, and tells himself not to get his hopes up because he’s, well, not that girl or even a girl. We shall of course leave aside how anyone could be attracted to someone as repulsive as Hubert; that’s part of the inherent comedy of this pairing.

“One Short Day”

This was the hardest song to place in this whole project. The touristy trip to the Emerald City just doesn’t have an analogue in the story of Three Houses, especially not late in Part 1 when tension is mounting toward the upcoming reveal and war. It took me a while to realize that it works wonderfully as an Edeleth piece: Edelgard invites Byleth to Enbarr for her coronation, but that scene is left offscreen in favor of a light romp through the city that further highlights Edelgard’s crush as well as her emotional immaturity in spite of everything she’s about to do. She just wants to have a fun day out and take in the sights and eat sweets with her beloved teacher, and it’s all very “Edge of Dawn”-esque where Edelgard knows she’s about to do terrible things that will change everything forever and hopes to prolong the time until she has to take that step. Adjustments to the lyrics could even work in reference to that song to make the similarities more apparent. An awkward/funny issue here is that I envision Byleth to be totally silent throughout this musical with no sung or spoken parts, which would naturally make them having a duet impossible and make Edelgard’s fascination with them even weirder. Even their gender should be left ambiguous throughout, somehow never confirmed if it’s m!Byleth or f!Byleth. It would take a lot of reworking, but I can see the value in it.

“A Sentimental Man”

The core of the Wizard’s character is not all that different from Rhea’s. Both were thrust unexpectedly into positions of authority that required them to enact a large-scale deception to maintain their power/safety, and both are driven somewhat by parental feelings. The tone of the Wizard’s songs doesn’t align well with Rhea, but once you cut out the vaudeville and do some rewording I could see this one working as Rhea addressing her child (among other things) Byleth at the Holy Tomb just before the Flame Emperor reveal. Of course the dramatic irony hits differently; Rhea knows who and what Byleth is whereas the Wizard doesn’t learn about Elphaba until the end of the show. Nonetheless this would still establish Rhea’s character and motivations as well as set the stage for the impending betrayal.

“Defying Gravity”

Said betrayal being Byleth’s, who decides to stand by Rhea and condemn Edelgard as the Flame Emperor when she arrives with her army. This is another song in parts that would need to be broken up. Edelgard gets the bulk of it, but the middle sections between Elphaba and Glinda could work as a kind of separated duet with Edelgard and Hubert attempting to convince Byleth and Ferdinand respectively to join them. Because of Byleth’s silence only Ferdinand can reply in song; only he and Edelgard add the ��my friend” bit to the end of this segment, to illustrate the unevenness of Edeleth and Ferdibert at this point in the story. Then things turn to full bombast, albeit darker than in Wicked proper. Edelgard does the belting, Hubert’s sinister laughter reverberates below her (would it be too tasteless for him to be leering up her skirt the whole time?), Ferdinand has Glinda’s mournful “I hope you’re happy!” toward Hubert, and through this and the reprise of “No One Mourns the Wicked” the major events of the timeskip are enacted in pantomime or silhouette. Byleth tumbles off a cliff, Rhea is taken captive as is Dimitri but Dedue rushes after him, and Claude makes a tactical retreat. Side note: “And if I’m flying solo, / at least I’m flying free” is classic Edelgard fixating on Byleth and forgetting that Hubert exists.

Act II

“Thank Goodness”

A surprisingly tough one here. The core of the song, pivoting around the double meaning of “I couldn’t be happier,” suits early Part 2 Ferdinand perfectly, second-guessing his choice and, outside of CF, melancholy about fighting his homeland. In terms of plot it’s an easy translation too, with the crowd announcing the terrible things the Empire has been doing to win its war - persecuting believers, abducting civilians and turning them into Demonic beasts, consorting with inhuman shadowy figures who can disguise themselves as ordinary people - and the assembly working as a way to bring together the leads of the three routes: Byleth, Dimitri (who had Dedue always at his side and thus never had a full psychotic break), Claude, and Seteth, with Ferdinand representing the Adrestian resistance. It’s only the wedding announcement that’s hard to pin down, and I toyed with a number of ideas including Dimidue making yet another public declaration of devotion to one another or Ferdinand planning to follow through with his arranged marriage to Bernadetta they have in their supports (which makes more sense in light of the following sequence). In the end though I don’t think the marriage element is strictly necessary, leaving the song as a means of catching up with the cast five years later and seeing them united against Edelgard - with Ferdinand’s private regrets the only sour note.

“Wicked Witch of the East”

More a dialogue than a song, but still important. Bernadetta is arguably the Eagle other than Hubert most comfortable supporting Edelgard, because all Edelgard has to do is put Count Varley under house arrest for Bernadetta to sing the emperor’s praises. I can also see her as the same sort of self-centered, negligent ruler that Nessarose becomes in Wicked, not because of an unrequited attraction but because of her reclusive desire to be left alone. I see this scene playing out as Hubert surprising Bernadetta at her estate, angry about rumors that she may be helping the rebels and/or engaged to Ferdinand if going with that plot point after Edelgard has done her the favor of locking up her father. He’s fully prepared to, ahem, “persuade” Bernadetta, but before he can break out the torture implements Ferdinand arrives asking for her to support the rebels’ cause.

Farcical, sure, but it gets the two of them together again after five years and underscores how strong their UST has become in their time apart, with Hubert too flabbergasted to attack a known enemy and Ferdinand expressing how happy he is to see Hubert again despite everything. Each learns that the other isn’t as happy about his chosen path as he’d hoped, in Hubert’s case because his lady has grown ever more distant from him as the war has dragged on. Bernadetta cuts through the tension by bringing things back to the song (sort of) and blurting out that she knows both sides are marshalling their forces near Gronder Field. Ferdinand is too caught up in the fraught romance angle to do more than leave with this new information, but Hubert recovers enough to condemn Bernadetta for her flagrant misrule (venting by inference his frustrations toward Edelgard in the process) and resolve to set her on fire for her treachery.

“I’m Not That Girl (Reprise)”

The Gronder rematch happened offscreen - and Bernadetta was indeed set on fire - and on the Imperial side Edelgard is left increasingly frustrated over her losses and hurt that Byleth still refuses to listen to her and continues to fight her regime. You may notice that I’ve shuffled around the middle of Act II, necessary at this point in order to better line up with FE16’s story and Hubert and Edelgard’s separate narrative climaxes while also ensuring that those climaxes don’t overlap too much. This song is only a brief reprise, but it’s a significant one; Hubert finally realizes that Edelgard will never love him. It’s also kept gender-neutral, because Byleth.

“As Long as You’re Mine”

That segues naturally into this moment. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr using his unexpected stealth powers (I usually talk about Dedue having them, but Ferdinand shows he’s no slouch in his Mercedes supports) and encounters Hubert. Their UST boils over in a furor of awkward, impassioned sex and also this song. I like the idea of rewording some of Fiyero's lines to incorporate Hubert's acidic snark: “Maybe you’re brainless, / maybe you’re wise.” It’s all very desperate and sensual, ending with Ferdinand taking Elphaba’s line about feeling wicked for the first time - which will have a dark reverberation two songs from now.

“Wonderful”

Again, axe the vaudeville and it’s a solid Rhea song. There’s just the small problem of Rhea being captured at this point in the plot; I thought about moving this number toward the very end at first before reconsidering. While Hubert and Ferdinand are rolling in the sheets, a distraught Edelgard confronts Rhea in prison. Rhea responds to Edelgard’s frustrations with Byleth with her backstory in song, much more somber than the Wizard but, like him, still willing to rehabilitate her estranged listener. The bits of this song about the nature of history are especially relevant to what Edelgard falsely believes about the church and what she views as her own legacy, so I could see this as an interesting character study on what Edelgard actually wanted with her war apart from dragon genocide. There’s a lot that could be done here in the dialogue surrounding those revelations.

“No Good Deed”

However the interrogation of Rhea turns out, Edelgard takes a leaf out of SS Dimitri’s book and visits Byleth alone at the monastery, only to be as harshly rebuffed as is possible to be without the rebuffer speaking. Then comes this song, which was incidentally the one where I realized that Edelgard would need a major role in FE16-does-Wicked even with the Ferdibert focus. Hubert fully embraced his evil wickedness long ago and wouldn’t think twice about being wicked or being perceived as such, but Edelgard is a different matter. Here she breaks down, admitting that her good intentions were largely selfish and that she regrets that her war has cost her any relationship she could have had with Byleth (continuing the joke at his expense, Hubert goes unmentioned when Edelgard names the people she’s lost/failed). It ends with a foreshadowing of her Hegemon form, the sign that she’s abandoned all pretense of goodness and become truly wicked.

“March of the Witch Hunters”

Another ensemble/vignette piece, checking in with the various members of Byleth’s army as they prepare to storm Enbarr. Dimitri hopes for the chance to forgive his stepsister, Claude has big plans for the continent and wants to remove the threat Edelgard poses, Seteth is desperate to find Rhea, and Byleth…is there. As in many of the songs, the self-righteousness of the crowd here rings more sincere and less hypocritical than in Wicked given Three Houses has actual villains, but it still works.

“For Good”

The song that inspired this whole thing, now with many paragraphs of context to set it up instead of only some fluff based on the Ferdibert A+ support. Ferdinand sneaks into Enbarr (again) ahead of the battle, and their second love ballad is more somber as they resign themselves to their fates. As in the VA cover, Hubert refuses to ask forgiveness for anything and Ferdinand is fine with that.

“Finale”

Wicked reduces the final battle from The Wizard of Oz to silhouettes backed by sections of “No One Mourns the Wicked,” and that’s what comes here: Ferdinand and Hubert facing each other in battle, Edelgard becoming the Hegemon before being defeated and then dying as in AM’s final cutscene, and Dimitri taking the throne with Dedue at his side and proclaiming his intention to do all he can to restore both the Kingdom and Duscur - and that his first act as king is to announce that he and Dedue have decided to open their marriage up. This is met with much manly cheering and stripping and someone (Ashe?) saying incredulously that he didn’t even know they were married. End silhouettes.

The final scene with the Wizard and Morrible becomes Claude, Seteth, and Byleth rescuing Rhea. Rhea names Byleth her successor as leader of the church and says that she will go into quiet seclusion and do what she can to correct her mistakes. This all suits Claude just fine, who tells everyone that he’s off to take care of some other business and that Byleth will make a great archbishop - and also they can have the Alliance, no big deal. As with the King of Faerghus’s gay orgies, the King of Almyra’s grand ambitions are too large for this story to do more than allude to.

Next, Ferdibert does a version of the Elphaba/Fiyero scene, with Ferdinand revealing that he had Hubert spared on the condition that he help root out any remaining Agarthans and that he remain under house arrest at the Aegir estate. Ferdinand was also required to assume governance of the Empire, because Dimitri wasn’t getting that dumped on him as well. They can be together, but the general population can’t know that Hubert survived lest Ferdinand’s reputation and basic ethics be compromised…which in a darkly funny hypocritical twist then segues to Ferdinand pontificating before the crowd at the beginning of the show, reprising “For Good” with Hubert until they’re drowned out by “No One Mourns the Wicked.” Thus the story concludes on one of my favorite things about Ferdibert: perhaps even in this non-CF continuity Ferdinand wasn’t changed for the better by falling in love with the Most Wicked Man in Fódlan, but they’ve both been changed….

[introvertguide]

On the Waterfront (1954); AFI #19

The next film on the AFI top 100 under review is the award winning crime drama, On the Waterfront (1954). This film was nominated for 12 Academy Awards and picked up 8 including Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Director, and Best Screenplay. The film is based on a series of articles in the New York Sun from 1949 that depicted the condition of the eastern seaboard and all the corruption that was involved at the time. I did a lot of historical digging for this film and realize how important the accuracy was and it seemed pretty spot on. Before I get into story, let me give the standard announcement...

SUPER SPOILER WARNING!!! I TOOK A LOT OF NOTES DURING THE FILM AND THIS WILL SPOIL THE ENTIRE THING!!! WATCH THE MOVIE FIRST AND THEN COME BACK AND CHECK OUT THE ARTICLE!!!

The film starts out with the murder of a man named Joey Doyle. Terry Malloy (Marlon Brando) calls to Joey’s window at night to have him meet up on the roof concerning a pigeon. We see that Terry is with a bunch of gangsters who are waiting up on the roof for Joey. The audience doesn’t see the actual meeting, but a person falls off the building a couple seconds later and it is assumed that Joey is dead. It seems that Terry was not aware that Joey would be killed, he thought they were going to rough him up or intimidate him.

Terry is not put out too much because he goes to a local pub right after and we meet the local crime boss. Johnny Friendly (Lee J. Cobb) is a stereotype mob boss who runs a tight ship and could snap at any moment. It is an awkward scene where one person in the room is having fun and everyone else is nervously waiting for something to go wrong. Friendly’s right hand man is Terry’s brother Charley (Rod Steiger) and Friendly has a fondness for Terry because of the relation and also that Terry used to be a boxer. Before the night is over, Terry is given a stack of cash for his help with Joey and the promise of a cushy job on the dock the next day.

The next morning, a group of people look over Joey’s body on the street and his sister Edie (Eva Marie Saint) is understandably angry about the event. She shames her father and the other workers for not saying anything and she yells at the local priest (Karl Malden) for not being more involved. She wants to get involved and help her father get work so she goes down to the docks with the priest to see what the situation is really like. People attached to the mob are given preferred treatment (including Terry) and all the other workers have to scramble in hopes of getting work. The priest sees the corruption and decides to hold a union meeting in the church to encourage the workers to speak out against Friendly to improve the working conditions.

A group of dockworkers not part of the corruption meet at the church, but all remain quiet. The stay “D & D” (deaf and dumb) to what is going on so that they don’t get hurt. Joey is sent by Friendly to the meeting to see if anybody talks and he sits in the back. It seems apparent that he is there to intimidate the others into remaining silent. Before the meeting is officially over, a brick comes through the window and a bunch of gangsters pound sticks on the ground, waiting for the workers in the meeting to leave. Most everyone is attacked and beaten on the way out except for the priest, Edie, and Terry. The priest convinces one of the workers named Dugan (Pat Henning) to talk to the Waterfront Crime Commission to prevent another attack like this.

Dugan agrees to testify and we move forward to the day before he is supposed to go in front of the court. He is working on unloading a ship of Irish whiskey and an “accident” occurs in which a pallet of booze falls on Dugan, killing him. The priest comes to give last rights and gives an impassioned speech to the surrounding workers about how keeping quiet is a crucifixion and good men would not let this happen if they could stop it. Some of the gangsters through garbage at the priest while he is talking, but he continues on and Terry starts to feel guilty about his part in the deaths and injustice. He punches one of the enforcers who is going to throw something and this does not go unnoticed. In a very symbolic image, the priest rides a crane up out of the ship and ascends out of the hold like an angel ascending towards heaven. Very cinematic and full credit to cinematographer Boris Kaufman for this fantastic shot that no doubt contributed to his Oscar win for his work on this film.  

Terry starts to fall for Edie and considers testifying against friendly. He knows, however, that she will learn of his connection to her brother’s death and fears show will hate him. Friendly gets wind of Terry’s connection with Edie and sends Charley over to convince him to not testify. In a very poignant scene, Charley and Terry talk in a taxi and Charley tells him that he needs to promise not to squeal or Charley will take him to the docks to be executed. Terry says that he can’t live being a bum. He used to be a prizefighter and Friendly had convinced him to take a dive during a fight and all his potential was wasted. It is the famous “I could have been a contender. I could have been a somebody” scene. Charley let’s Terry go and goes in to stall so the Terry can escape and instead Charley is killed and left hanging from an ice hook in an alleyway as a message to Terry.

This goes too far and Terry goes to the local bar to shoot Friendly. Instead of the crime boss, Terry runs into the priest and is convinced to testify in court as a better form of revenge. He agrees and Terry identifies friendly in court as being corrupt and ordering the murder of both Joey Doyle and Dugan. After testifying, Friendly threatens Terry and says that he will never find work on the docks. Terry is shunned by all the other workers for squealing and only finds kindness from Edie.

Terry shows up the next day for work recruitment and every person there (including a random hobo) is given work except for him. Terry goes to confront Friendly and is summarily beaten by a group of gangsters. The dock workers see this and say that they will not work unless Terry is allowed to work as well. Friendly has lost his power over the docks and can’t kill Terry since he has already talked and is now being protected by the police. The priest shows up and tells Terry to stand up and lead the workers onto the ship, cementing the shift in power. A severely beaten Terry is helped up and he stumbles onto the boat followed by the rest of the works. The movie ends as the plank doors to the ship’s hull close.

Although the characters are sensationalized, the situation was very representative of what life what life was like on the East Coast docks during the late 40s and early 50s. This film is a time capsule for American life right after WW2 and a lesson concerning what can happen with complete corruption. Very fascinating from a historical perspective as well as an artistic one.

I have a little bit of an issue with Brando and his acting in this film. I do not think he is that good. He mumbles his lines like he does in every movie and it is apparent that he is a good actor but not that great at line delivery. Also, when I say he is a good actor, I don’t mean this film. He comes across almost whiny and conceited and I never really get behind the character. I freely admit that I don’t really like Brando in general as a person (at least from the stories I hear, I have never met him) and that might taint my judgment of his performances. I never bought him as a boxer and I never bought him as being tough. He is acting like a soft hearted bully, but it just doesn’t impress me. He got top billing and his name is bigger than the movie credit on the opening title cards, but I thought Karl Malden did a much better acting job. I am thankful for Brando’s contribution to creating method acting, but that doesn’t make this a great performance and I don’t think he deserved the Oscar. 

Also, just like with The Godfather, Brando played a part that was memorable with great lines and won the award for Best Actor while the rest of the male cast who gave outstanding performances were relegated to Best Supporting Actor (three actors nominated in both cases) and came home empty handed. Brando kept getting quirky character roles in well written films and surrounded by incredible talent...and then he was given all the credit for the incredible result. I just don’t like that guy and I realize it is a personal bias. I just don’t like how he is given all the credit (and takes all the credit) for projects he was a part of. But moving on...

I again want to point out the cinematography for this movie because I am not generally impressed by this aspect of films, especially when they are in black and white. I think On the Waterfront, Citizen Cane, and Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf are all examples of how prop placement, camera angles, pans, and lighting can be used to tell a story beyond just the acting and dialogue. A well deserved Best Cinematography award for Boris Kaufman. 

So does this film deserve to be on the AFI top 100? Yes. For the  famous  “contender” speech, the reflection of history, the visual storytelling, and the wonderful acting, it absolutely deserves a spot. Would I recommend it? Well...I would say yes but not for Brando. I was so bored by the part of Terry Malloy that I found many other things that I liked to get through the film. The first time I watched I was expecting this great performance and I was thoroughly disappointed. Watch the film for everything else besides Marlon Brando and you will be impressed.

[strawberryybird]

fic rec list! because i am loud

hello!! welcome to the little rec-list of the things i’ve been reading in my 3h ao3 corner!! i’m making this because i am simply unable to go for 4 1/2 minutes without talking about three houses!! 

the fics on here are just ones that i really enjoyed and so wanted to share! This isn’t an exhaustive list by any means, there’s a few i’m missing out (because I think we’re All waiting with baited breath for the next troubles of the heart huh)

i so wanted to include. everything. But alas this got Long. So this is but a few! I list the rating and the ship here, but please mind any tags and warning listed on the actual fic! (and as always, mind your spoilers!)

(I have a preference towards emotional character-based one shots, and plotty gen long fic. These are just ones that I loved, and I fully encourage people to reblog with fics they loved and keep the train going! Just remember to add the rating and ship, if applicable! you can find more things that i liked on my ao3 bookmarks!! Happy reading!!)

The Cats of Garreg Mach by goldenteaset 

G / n/a | this fic is exactly the thing i was desperate to find in the aftermath of finishing 3h. those off-beat little gen fics about the environment of the world. It’s from the perspective of the cats of Garreg Mach, and is wonderfully done. the sheer amount of atmosphere in this little fic is incredible. The writing felt really light as a contrast to the forthright opinions of the cats! I really enjoyed reading it!! a beautiful piece of creative writing, a complete gem of a fic <3

although the axe is heavy by LuckyDiceKirby 

T / Dorothea/Edelgard/Byleth/Hubert | not to be overly dramatic, but this is my favourite 3h fic I’ve read. The primary plot is exploring Byleth’s perspective as she chooses - and keeps choosing - Edelgard’s path. It’s two parts heart-wrenching to one cup cathartic, and I love the hell out of this fic. Dorothea’s character especially feels so spot on, as does everyone, and the way they all interact is just beautifully crafted. All the little pieces of this fic fall perfectly into place, and the end picture hits me in the crimson flower feelings like nothing else. 

pieces of a heart by thehaakun 

T / Edelgard/F!Byleth | The Angst Is Strong In This One. It’s the moments after Byleth disappears at the battle of Garreg Mach - Black Eagle Bonding time searching for their professor, after Edie says something that broke my entire heart. Humor is how i cope now, because this fic robbed my of my emotions. this is long-winded for ‘it hurt me and i love it deeply for doing so’. The absolute despair this fic captures has been reeling in my head since I read it. It’s that wonderful emotive fanfic style of breaking down the way the text is formatted, and it works emotional wonders. Edelgard’s heartbreak broke MY heart !!!

Fragmented Bonds of Our Old World by Hierarchical 

M / Marianne/Edelgard, Annette/Caspar, more in fic tags | This fic. Oh My Sothis. It’s shaping up to be an absolute powerhouse and I’m waiting with baited breath (and infinite respect for the author, of course) to see where it’s going. (I’m copying my own comment on it oops) The things going on in this fic - fake dating spycraft framed through letter writing, political intrigue, the amazing dive into the overwhelming emotions of Annette in the Eagle Strike Force. I’m already ride or die for this. I’m a literature bitch at heart and the moment Marianne lied to her father over breakfast had me sold on following this fic wherever it goes. I’m so excited to see where it goes, because I’ll follow it forever. (also really really interesting looks at Annette and Edelgard. Really interesting.)

Statuesque by feebop 

T (Eventual E) / Edelgard/Hubert | I left such a loving-ramble comment on this because . i love this fic . so much. The writing is dense, but every single line has another bit of detail and it’s fascinating to read. It’s such an interesting take on Edelgard’s perspective - how she comments on every piece of interest. It builds this brilliant picture of a post-war world and how Edelgard moves through it. The dialogue between Hubert and Edelgard is just wonderful, and the entire fic has little chimes of humour that had me laughing away on public transport. (also features Manuela and Ferdinand’s ending, which is one of my favourites!!) 

The Hands of the Emperor by Abyssia 

T / Hubert/Ferdinand/Edelgard (but you could read as platonic i reckon?)| You know how the game doesn’t really address if Ferdinand knows what his father was complicit in re: Edelgard’s Backstory? This is the fic you’re looking for. The author mentioned Jane Austen as a tone comparison, and that’s a pretty apt description! Lovely, lovely details scattered throughout1 Combine Ferdinand’s Emotions being so well played through, and an Austen-themed writing style, you get this GEM of a fic. 

A Leading Lady's Love by arrslanaltan 

T / Dorothea/Edelgard | i would tell you how much i love this fic, but alas my heart has been overcome with tidal waves of love for it and i can’t possibly do more than sob in the corning, occasionally whispering ‘el is a top.. finally’. I love this fic So Damn Hard. Dorothea is wonderfully written and her voice absolutely shines. It’s a fantastic display of edelthea at it’s finest and I love this fic so much!!!!! SO much!!!!

we could turn the world to gold by softshocks

T / Edelgard/Byleth | I would fell half the universe for this fic. It’s beautifully written, crammed full of wonderful little details and so, so good. It’s set 10 years after CF ends which is something I haven’t seen yet in fic and it’s Wonderful in the highest order. This is a joy to read. I’d have more to say about it but honestly this work speaks for itself. it owned my heart from the outset because it’s a disguised road trip and I Love those v much, and then it turned out to be even better than I dreamed !!

Would That I by Cowboy_Sneep_Dip

G / Edelgard/Ingrid | I have a deeply lodged fascination for Edelgard/Ingrid and it’s this very fic’s fault. The command of language in this fic is fantastic, it’s so well written. Everything feels so visceral and the narrative hits the Perfect notes to make me 7 kinds of emotional about it. This is not a happily resolved fic and I’ve been thinking about it since I read it, because it’s staying so hard in my memory. It’s such a niche look into what a relationship between Edelgard and Ingrid could look like and honestly it hits pitch perfectly. It’s amazing. Genuinely amazing.

pls send my infinite love and respect to all the authors !! and also to ao3 for existing at all because it’s wonderful and i cherish what ao3 gives to the world!! <3

[jmsa1287]

HBO's 'The Righteous Gemstones' is Another Solid Entry in the Danny McBride Universe

Danny McBride’s “The Righteous Gemstones” is fun!

Danny McBride seems like one of the few actors/creators who understands how to make TV in 2019. Taking a note from the Ryan Murphy playbook, McBride has worked with HBO for the last decade, pumping out short-lived but beloved comedies, including the sports series "Eastbound & Down" (it ran for 29 episodes over four seasons) and more recently, "Vice Principals" (that comedy ran for 18 episodes over two seasons). Teaming up with his collaborators, filmmakers David Gordon Green ("Pineapple Express," "Halloween"), and Jody Hill ("The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter"), McBride returns to HBO with a new comedy series Sunday, the over-the-top comedy, "The Righteous Gemstones." It's the third installment of McBride's "angry men" series; completing a trilogy of sorts. Once again set in North Carolina, "The Righteous Gemstones" follows the wealthy Gemstone family led by patriarch Eli Gemstone (John Goodman), a massively popular and successful televangelist who runs a string of megachurches. Eli primarily works with his children, eldest son Jesse Gemstone (McBride), daughter Judy Gemstone (Edi Patterson) and youngest son Kelvin Gemstone (Adam DeVine). Like "Vice Principals," the new comedy features a crime that involves the outrageous and incompetent Gemstone children and is the driving force behind the show. The details of the incident, however, are best left unsaid and will not be spoiled here.

"The Righteous Gemstones" is first and foremost a showcase for its talent, allowing McBride, Goodman, Patterson, and DeVine. "Vice Principals" star Walton Goggins returns to the McBride world, playing Uncle Baby Billy Freeman, Eli's brother-in-law, in perhaps his most wild role to date. McBride's Jesse is a similar version to his "Vice Principals" character — arrogant and pompous — but more immoral than the good-at-heart Neal Gamby. Jesse isn't the greatest husband to wife Amber (Cassidy Freeman) and his children, namely his oldest son, played by "Booksmart" star Skyler Gisondo, who ran away from home to pursue a life in Hollywood. Patterson, who was also the V.I.P. of "Vice Principals," is also excellent in her turn as the only daughter of the Gemstones. Always pushed aside by her father and brothers, Judy is thirsty for more responsibility in the family's empire and Patterson plays her with a desperate mania that is hilarious to watch. DeVine, too, holds his own and perfectly fits inside the McBride/Hill/Green universe, willing to go to the extreme for a laugh and face off with McBride. The show's first episode, which is a hour-long (the rest of the episodes clock about 30 minutes), opens in Chengdu, China where Jesse and Kelvin are baptizing 5,000 people... in a wave pool. The brothers insult each other while doing the good lord's work, which nicely sets up the tone for "The Righteous Gemstones" for those not familiar with McBride's previous series. For his part, Goodman plays the straight man with Eli, putting up with his children's antics and still reeling after the loss of his wife Amiee-Leigh (Jennifer Nettles), with whom he built the Gemstone empire and legacy. When he's lost, "The Righteous Gemstones" cuts to flashbacks to the 70s and 80s where Eli gains strength and order to deal with his kids and maintain his role in his megachurches. This especially comes into play in the third episode "They Are Weak, But He Is Strong," when the show first introduces Goggins's sketchy Uncle Baby Billy Freeman, who is looking to get involved with the Gemstones again after being cut out from the family. Baby Billy (Goggins is made to look much older thanks to some incredible hair and makeup) goes head-to-head with Eli with a feud that carries over for decades. Every time Eli gives Baby Billy the benefit of the doubt, he manages to weasel his way into the cracks of the Gemstone family and sew chaos. 

"The Righteous Gemstones" is not a critique on religion, faith or televangelism. It's far more interested in family dynamics and being fully entertaining than offering a deep subtext about those topics. Still, McBride (who solely writes and directs the first episode) does show how authority, power and wealth can rot a family (something another HBO show is currently examining with better results). At its core, "The Righteous Gemstones" is a straight-up comedy; the kind of comedy that big studios rarely put out anymore (did anyone see "Stuber"?!). The difference is that "The Righteous Gemstones" can thrive on TV — or at least find a dedicated audience. McBride and Co. are smart to work with HBO on developing their ideas for TV than pitch them as full-length features. Those coming to "The Righteous Gemstones" having already enjoyed "Eastbound" and "Vice Principals" will undoubtedly welcome McBride's newest series, though it is the weakest of the trio. Nevertheless, it's exciting to have an adult comedy that's genuinely funny and features actors who are giving it their all in a clever satire. It's good to have faith in "The Righteous Gemstones."

[miss-musings]

My List of Top 10 Blacklisters

Let me say right off the bat that it was really difficult to compile this list. Because while I feel a lot of one-off Blacklisters are pretty much throwaways, especially all the different cults and kooky people that the show likes to keep introducing, many of the better ones (IMO) were bad guys who had been around for multiple episodes, maybe even entire arcs or seasons.

So, picking out my Top 10 -- based on how unique they were, how memorable they were, how intimidating, how threatening they were to the main cast, etc. -- was relatively easy, but ranking them was difficult. Because, again, a lot of them get way more screentime than others.

So, I'll try to rank them based on a combination of how much I personally liked them, how much of an overall impact to the story/characters the Blacklister had relative to their screentime and build-up, how well the actor did with the role, how unique and memorable they were, etc.

You'll notice that people like Laurel Hitchen, who was an antagonist but not technically a Blacklister, isn't on the list; and you'll notice that "good guys" like Dembe or Marvin Gerard who were technically Blacklisters, but weren't antagonists for Red or the Task Force aren't on here either. Tom, who flip-flopped between good guy and bad guy as the show progressed, isn't on here either; but that's because there's so much material to judge from as he was a main cast member for at least three seasons, which is unfair.

Anyway, without further ado: my list. Again, feel free to disagree and make your own lists if you like.

(EDIT: I’ve done a follow-up list of ‘Top 10 Best One-Off Blacklisters’, because so many of the below entries had multiple episodes in which to be menacing.)

Note for future reference: this list only includes Blacklisters up through the end of S5.

###

HONORABLE MENTION: MR. KAPLAN

I really wanted to put Mr. Kaplan on this list, and I had at one point, but then I realized I forgot one of the more imposing Blacklisters and had to slide him into the spot where I had Mr. Kaplan. The only reason I took her off completely rather knocking every lower-numbered entry down a spot, was because while I really liked Mr. Kaplan up until S3c, I hated how the showrunners forced the storyline where she had once been Liz's nanny and hated Red for doing her and the Keen family wrong. I love Susan Bloomaert and think she's a very talented actress who's incredibly underrated; but I loved her character more when she was on Red's team -- his cleaner, his friend, his confidant. Granted, there were some really good episodes with her as an antagonist, but I hated the way she died -- throwing herself off a bridge.

Anyway, again, I want to emphasize that this list is purely subjective. So, if you think I've done Mr. Kaplan a disservice, feel free to make your own list to give her to honor you believe she deserves. As I said: I loved Mr. Kaplan, but I felt the whole S4b storyline completely assassinated her character as we knew it up to that point.

P.S. I also feel like GREGORY DEVRY should get a shout-out, but I’ll probably include him in my list of Best One-Off Blacklisters.

10. LEONARD CAUL

This is one of those entries where I guess I kind of cheated. Caul didn’t really end up being an antagonist for Red, Liz or the Task Force. But he was introduced to us a little ambiguously with him developing photos of Liz and Red, listening to the police scanner -- and then holding Liz at gunpoint (briefly) in Red's Bethesda apartment... I really liked all of that and how it was kind of vague from the beginning whether he was on their side or not. Granted, he doesn't get much screentime even in his own episode, and honestly, after S2, I'm not really sure what happened to him. I know he was hanging around with Red up until the S2 finale or thereabouts, but yeah, whatever happened to that guy?

Anyway, it was a really tense episode, and I felt like Caul brought a level of adrenaline and urgency to the situation with Red and the Cabal, as well as the show in general.

9. IAN GARVEY

You'd think Garvey would be higher on this list, but I was never really a big fan of him. Granted, he did pose a pretty serious threat for our main crew, after he stole the Real Reddington’s bones, killed Tom and his goons knocked Liz into a coma. And the actor did a fine job. But, I just felt that -- up until his connection to the Reddington family was revealed -- he was just kind of cartoonish. A dirty cop who runs a drug cartel? Yeah, I don't care.

But, again, while I don't really like Garvey, I felt like he had such an impact on the show and the characters that he deserved a spot -- even if it was a low one.

8. MADELINE PRATT

The only female Blacklister to formally make it onto the list. (Sorry, Mr. Kaplan.) I thought her character and this episode was incredibly well-done. It was a little bit of a heist storyline, and Pratt was a good foil for Liz and Red, forcing both of them to open up in ways we hadn't seen before (up to that point). Liz became more comfortable doing criminal-type things, using her slight-of-hand, infiltrating locations and lying/manipulating people; while Red, conversely, became more human and opened up about why he has been so distant with people and the hurt he has experienced in the past.

Also, Madeline is one of the few past/current love interests of Red that we see on the show, and I really like Jennifer Ehle (mostly because of the 1995 version of Pride & Prejudice). I felt like she matched well with Spader and wasn't overpowered by his always-charismatic performance. And, while we only ever saw her in this episode and briefly in 2x14, I felt like she deserved a spot because she was such a unique character and that episode introduced a lot of character details and traits that became important later.

7. THE STEWMAKER

I really, really liked the Stewmaker -- both the bad guy and the episode. The only reason I didn't put him higher on this list is because I feel everyone else is too good (or bad, depending on how you want to look at it) to be displaced.

So, I remember reading on one of those TV-watching websites that if you weren't entirely sure about a show but you wanted to give it a chance, you should watch at least four episodes to see whether it was any good. By the fourth episode, the show should have established its characters, its dynamic, its continuing plot points, its feel, etc. Pilots, of course, always feel a little different than the shows themselves because they're filmed months before any other episode; so you have to give shows a chance to establish themselves and walk on their own two feet.

So... when THIS was the show's fourth episode... oh, buddy.

The Stewmaker posed a serious threat as he was the first person to ever hold Liz captive and feel the wrath of Red for such an offense. The episode gave us the infamous Parable of the Farmer; and continued the then-mystery of Liz finding out about Tom's shady past.

But, as for the character himself, he was just really weird. Walking around naked while he was working, but having that mask on; disintegrating bodies; having his dog with him; actually being a family man but having this criminal work on the side. And, also, we had a little bit of interaction where Liz was actually trying to do her job (for once) and profile him and use that info to her advantage.

He was a character that I feel the show has tried to redo several times -- the kooky weirdo who's very calm, apologetic and doesn't like violence but who is also fascinated by death, bodies, etc. But, of course, this was the FIRST time the show had used such a character, so it was much more memorable then and not so watered-down.

In any case, I really liked the Stewmaker and thought he was a fantastic Blacklister for the show to have in its fourth episode of the entire series.

6. MATIAS SOLOMON

So, this is actually the spot where I had Mr. Kaplan. But, while I was doing some background research on my #1 choice, I ran across Edi Gathegi's name and remembered that I left Solomon completely off the list. He had been an antagonist throughout the whole of S3a and then came back for his namesake episodes where he and his crew attack Liz and Tom's wedding, Liz gives birth to Agnes, and later she "dies" with Red by her side.

Solomon is either directly or indirectly responsible for a lot of major shit that happened on this show -- hell, just in those two episodes. And, I really like Gathegi's performance, especially considering how Solomon was a little Extra™. So he had to play him as dramatic with a penchant for flair and style ... but without him becoming cartoonish. He was just a little bit eccentric but could still hold himself and lead a team of goons in shooting up a church.

Again, I hated to leave Mr. Kaplan off the list but I felt it was a greater disservice to not put Solomon on it, considering how much of a threat he posed to our main cast throughout various points of S3.

5. THE DECEMBRIST (A.K.A. ALAN FITCH)

This is basically just an outlet for me to talk about how amazing Alan Alda is and how much I love him and wish the show hadn't killed his character off. Seriously, he's just so adorable, and it was hilarious to see him partly playing against type here. Fitch was intimidating, but I also kept wanting to give him a hug.

And, I felt like that was how Red felt toward him. He hated Fitch for the whole bullshit in that raid on the Post Office, but yet, he also respected him. That look on his face when he's having that last conversation before the bomb on Fitch's neck goes off... just heartbreaking.

And while so many actors seem to bow under the weight of Spader's performances, Alda is also one of the few actors who I felt like was on-par with him in terms of charisma and acting chops. It seems he just strolls onto the set and does whatever is required of him without a care in the world. "Need me to be gruff and menacing? I can do that. Need me to be sad and fearful? I can do that. Need me to look bored and indifferent? I can do that." God, I just love Alan Alda, and I want to give him a hug. 

But, seriously, Fitch was a Blacklister who's impact on the story goes all the way back to setting Berlin on Red decades before S2 takes place, and he was one of the few people (at that time) who seemed to know Reddington from the pre-Night of the Fire era. (It's unclear now whether that was actually true; he probably knew the REAL Reddington, but never knew our guy was an imposter.)

Anyway, Fitch had a major impact on the story because he was the one person/thing who had a connection to the raid on the Post Office, the Cabal and Berlin. So, he definitely deserves a spot on this list. And also, ALAN ALDA!

4. BERLIN

This is a weird entry, because Berlin is hardly in either of his two namesake episodes; and even when he is, his identity is obscured until the very end of "Berlin: Conclusion."

Berlin had been built up for a long time, and while I still am so frustrated that it was never addressed how he organized a giant criminal syndicate from inside a Russian prison. Honestly, for as much as for as long as he was built up, I feel like the pay-off was a little bit disappointing. Which is why he’s at number four for me.

Still, when he came back in the first half of S2, he was such a good baddie. I absolutely love when he and Red meet on Coney Island, and that weird, dynamic and layered conversation that they have. And overall, Peter Stormare's performance is fantastic. He's mustache-twirling, sure, but he was so intimidating at the same time... threatening Liz, capturing Naomi, being responsible for the attacks on Cooper and Meera, etc.

He had a tremendous impact on both S1 and S2a, so he definitely has to have a spot.

3. ALEXANDER KIRK (A.K.A. CONSTANTIN ROSTOV)

Like Berlin, Kirk is hardly in either of his namesake episodes, but we get to see him more fleshed out as a character/villain in S4a.

Unlike most villains, we actually got to see quiet moments of Kirk, where he was caring, respectful, loving and just ... generally not villainous. Most of these other Blacklisters never got those opportunities, and Kirk -- in hindsight -- was built up as a kind of hero out of a Greek tragedy. Odette tells Liz that he was a kind, caring and gentle man up until he found out about Liz’s identity as Masha and her connection to Red. Then, he flipped his shit and did whatever it took to get his (step)daughter away from him. And, honestly, I really liked his little farewell speech to Liz about how she would only ever remember him as a villain who kidnapped and threatened her and her child; and she would never remember him as the young, happy father who held her in her arms, excited at what the future would hold for their family.

God, just thinking back to that speech makes me feel such sympathy for the man... not the one he became but the one he used to be. Kirk was hurt and betrayed multiple times by Katarina, the Real Reddington, the Fake Reddington, and all these other people who played him like a puppet for their own ends. Really thinking back on it, it’s no wonder he became the broken man he is, so desperately trying to cling to this frayed prospect of happiness with the family he once had. Yes, he was hoping that Liz or Agnes would help cure him of his disease, but I truly believe that was only a bonus in his mind and he was really hoping to piece his family back together -- to have a second chance in his (step)daughter’s life and help her with her newborn.

He’s also one of the few villains with his own arc who WASN’T killed off at the end of said arc, so I REALLY hope he comes back. I doubt it, but I would really like to see it. Maybe he could help Liz understand what all happened with Katarina, Real Reddington, Fake Reddington, and everything on the Night of the Fire.

And, again, like with Fitch, he was a really important Blacklister as he was connected to both Red’s past and Liz’s. And, that scene where he’s about to kill Red, and the two stop to reminisce about Katarina, who she was, and how important she was to them ... that’s the kind of depth we don’t get out of most Blacklisters.

Honestly, even though his introduction to the audience was a little too Darth Vader/Alias-esque, I still really enjoyed the range of emotions Ulrich Thomsen got to run through in his portrayal, especially in that final episode. And while he doesn’t really have a lasting effect on the story once his arc is resolved, he was a major threat to everyone, including Liz, and the main characters to make major decisions in the latter half of S3 and the first part of S4 that showed us who they really are.

So, yeah. IMO, he deserves to be this high on the list.

2. ANSLO GARRICK

It might seem a little weird to have a one-off villain this high on the list, but Anslo Garrick -- both the character and his namesake episodes -- was an actual game-changer. Here we were, skipping along through S1, pretty complacent and chill. And then all of a sudden, Anslo Garrick shows up and turns everything on its head. The Post Office is under attack; Ressler gets seriously injured and he and Red have to make due hanging out together inside the box; Cooper et al is captured; Liz and Aram, who have little field experience between them, have to team up to try to get to safety. Luli is killed; Dembe is almost killed; Liz is threatened; Red is captured and later escapes.

God, so much happened in those episodes, and I still think “Anslo Garrick: Part One” might be the best episode of the show to date. Seriously. Even though Red and Liz have zero screentime together, that episode is just SO GOOD. Intense, dark, with high-stakes and important character moments -- and there have been very few episodes like it since.

But, anyway, as for Anslo Garrick himself... he isn’t really all that much. He was a rabid dog sent by Fitch to bring Red in. He was intimidating, coarse, violent and gave zero shits about his actions.

This entry doesn’t really celebrate who the character of Anslo Garrick was, but more of what he represented and the major impact he had on the show at that point in time. He introduced us to Fitch, who first brought up the whole “Cabal” storyline, which was responsible for a lot of shit in S2 and S3a.

Again, Garrick woke us viewers out of our little complacency that Red & co. were just going to glide through their Blacklisters with only a few cuts and bruises and no real stakes (outside of the Tom/mystery storyline that was going on at the time). This was a good kick in the pants to make us realize that we were wrong.

So, yeah. I feel like he deserves to be Number 2.

1. THE DIRECTOR

So, you’re sitting there, wondering who the hell could be sitting at Number 1... above Garvey, above Kirk and Garrick and Fitch and everyone else?

It’s the man who if I could push a button and bring any of the show’s dead character back to life, he would be the one I’d pick:

Peter Kotsiopulos, The Director ... played by the amazing David Strathairn.

Even though he appeared in 12 episodes over what amounted to an entire season of the show (from 2x09 to 3x10), I really wish The Director hadn’t been killed off. Seriously, I have no idea how much money TPTB had to throw at Strathairn to get him to appear for as long and as many times as he did, but it wasn’t enough. I've always said that this show deserves a Big Bad (assuming that Red isn’t it), and he would’ve been great as the Big Bad for The Blacklist.

While Strathairn's basically just reprising his role as "Unethical and Shady AF Government Official and Resident Mustache-Twirler" from The Bourne Series, it's a role he's REALLY good at. And even though he didn’t get a lot of quiet moments to be humanized or come across as sympathetic, like Kirk did, I still feel like it was such a bitch move for Red and his crew to play on The Director’s feelings for/obligation to his wife as their opportunity to abduct him. I know that Liz was facing trial for murder and desperate times called for desperate measures, but I can just imagine that poor lady sitting in her therapist’s office, wondering where her husband was only to find out that he was a villain who had ditched her and fled the country, when that wasn’t the case AT ALL.

Yeah, I know The Director’s an absolute piece of shit who’s responsible for threatening the entire Task Force, publicly demonizing Liz and almost killing Red... but he was so good at being bad that I wanted him to stick around long-term. I wanted to see him and Liz have more interactions; and again, Stathairn was one of the few actors who held his own in scenes with Spader without any effort.

He was also the first one, as I recall, to set Liz on this path toward Katarina Rostova’s backstory and finding out how alike the two of them were. Remember in 2x19, he remarks how much Liz looks like her mom, and I feel like that sends Liz down a road to get answers from Red about who she was and what his connection was to her mom and her family.

But, anyway, yeah. I just love David Strathairn; I loved him in this role, on this show; and I loved how diabolical, manipulative, and just conniving his character was. I also just absolutely love the look on his face in 3x10 when he and Red are watching Laurel Hitchen on the TV and Hitchen just outs The Director as a member of the Cabal. He just goes from angry and staring daggers at Red to flustered and “oh shit” in an instant.

So, just like my Fitch entry was my opportunity to celebrate how amazing Alan Alda was, this is my chance to celebrate how underrated David Strathairn is as an actor and how much I wish he was still on the show.

But, putting all of that aside, why should The Director as a character be ranked above all those other people as a better Blacklister?

Because, The Director represented the Cabal, which was an entity that had been built up from 1x09 as a major force that had power to easily destroy everything Red, Liz and their crew was trying to work toward. They sent Braxton after info about the Fulcrum, they sent Karakurt to frame Liz, they sent that team of commandos to attack Red. They were a force that seemingly could not be stopped, and the Director was at the head of it all.

And, while I can’t find it anywhere (so help me out if you know what I’m talking about), I know there’s a saying about how the worst man is the one who does evil in the name of good. And that’s The Director. He is the embodiment of all the worst parts of The Blacklist’s villains, actual real life government officials and humanity at large. He has dozens of people killed without batting an eye because it’s all in the interest of “national security.” Or so he tells others. But, deep down, we all know that he’s only really concerned about his own self-interest.

Now that the show has killed him off, obviously, there’s no way for Strathairn to return as The Director; but perhaps, if/once the show delves more into Katarina and Red’s backstory, maybe we will see a Young Director in a flashback so that we can see exactly how he was connected to Katarina, the Cabal, and that whole mess with the Fulcrum.

Plus, I can’t get over how awesome his interactions with Liz were, and Strathairn’s delivery of the now infamous line, “I know who you really are, Raymond -- who you are TO HER.”

###

Again, if you disagree, feel free to reblog with your comments or your own list. This is all purely subjective, but -- because we’re on this crazy-long hiatus until January -- I felt like it was good to fill the time with SOMETHING. My goal with this isn’t to give a definitive list and that’s it; but rather, to prompt discussion about the topic.

Thanks for reading all the way to the end and cheers! ~mm

[justshepardthings]

My Review of Mass Effect Andromeda

Just because I know I’m going to be asked about it (and let’s be real: because I want to broadcast my opinions into the void) I wrote down my thoughts on Mass Effect Andromeda. This review is spoiler-free but I put it under a read more for length. I’m warning you: it’s long. I had a lot of thoughts.

Quick Version: 6.5/10. Strongest elements were characters, combat and on-planet exploration. Weakest were story, worldbuilding and visuals.

Story

The story is one of the weakest elements of the game. It had a lot of the same issues I saw in Dragon Age: Inquisition:

Generic, uninteresting villain

Odd pacing

Tonal yo-yo between the more serious story missions and lighthearted sidequests

Overall lack of urgency

Actual story itself felt hastily written

Promise of weight and gravitas, but no way to really “fail”

The story did pick up weight as it went along, but it doesn’t really hit its stride until near the end of the game, with the final mission being hands-down the best mission in the game. The overall tone felt very light and peppy. I saw a review that said that the original trilogy felt like something on par with Game of Thrones, whereas Andromeda feels more like a Young Adult novel. That’s not casting any judgment on the tone itself - just that the tone is a lot less “dark.” Considering Ryder is also a much younger character and how they interact with the world colors the story, overall it feels much more like a fun adventure story than anything more profound. I don’t think the story is going to stick with me the way that other Bioware games have.

For me, the loyalty missions were much more enjoyable than the actual story quests. They felt more weighty because the characters involved were more fleshed-out, and I cared much more about the crew than I did about Space-Corypheus. However, the way that loyalty missions were dolled out was really back-loaded. They all seem to update at the exact same time after a particular mission, so you end up doing all of them in a row. I felt like Liam was the only character whose missions were spread out throughout the game. I also would’ve liked more opportunities to fail, because it makes pulling the loyalty off more rewarding (like in Mass Effect 2, for example). I purposefully tried to “fail” some companion missions to see what would happen, but at the end of the day I still earned the characters’ loyalties and comparing them to the “successful” version there seemed to be little difference outside of a few passing lines of dialogue. But that being said, the loyalty missions themselves were a lot of fun and helped to further define the characters.

Characters

The characters were easily one of the best things about the game and motivated me to complete sidequests that I might not have otherwise. Each was unique in comparison to each other and in comparison to other Bioware companions. I’ve seen a lot of complaints that they felt rehashed but I have to disagree - I think the reason why they don’t stick out initially is because there are a lot less “strong personality” characters where you get a sense of who they are immediately after meeting them (for example characters like Jack, Samara, Javik from the original trilogy). It does take a few conversations to really dig into each squamate’s personality, but I consider that a good thing because it motivated me to seek them out and spend more time with them. I genuinely enjoyed interacting with all of them.

There were also a lot more interactions. Your squadmates talk to each other a lot more frequently, which helps to develop their characters and distract during otherwise mundane driving sequences in the Nomad. Characters also talk amongst themselves on the Tempest during downtimes. Some of the non-ship interactions were brought back for Andromeda as well - you can talk to each companion at each port for new dialogues, and a few scripted off-ship scenes a la the Citadel DLC. Each companion also had a few missions in addition to their main loyalty mission, so you really got to know each of them.

The only companion I felt disappointed by was SAM. After such great AI characters like Legion and EDI, SAM’s utter and complete lack of personality (outside of being a narrator) was a huge disappointment. Considering SAM is a major driving force throughout the game and is key to the story, that was an oversight.

It also should be noted the criticism of the M/M romance options - once again, they got the short end of the stick with only two romances (both humans, and one a considerably shorter romance). Bioware has released a statement that they’re aware of this criticism and will be addressing it, so it remains to be seen how they’ll handle it. I romanced PeeBee and found her romance emotionally satisfying - there were a lot more opportunities to interact with your love interest in Andromeda. However as per usual, this game has the trademark Bioware problem of 1-2 romances getting the bulk of the attention and cutscenes (in this case, the Cora romance has significantly more content than any other romance).

RPG Elements

It’s time to talk about Ryder. I can’t shake the overwhelming feeling like Ryder’s personality was pre-defined by the game. It doesn’t help that this game has easily one of the worst character creators (can we call it that? it’s really just a “preset recolor”) but the dialogue as well feels like I have little control over who Ryder is as a person. I like the new choices the game affords…in theory. In practice, you really only end up have 2 options for most of the game (either “casual/professional” or “emotional/logical”) and even when you do have all four options, the left side options are very similar while the right side options are also similar so it’s hard to distinguish what really sets them apart other than the specific sentence Ryder will say. 

It came across less like a personality choice and more like a response simulator - is your Ryder slightly sarcastic and awkward, but knows when to be serious or is your Ryder slightly sarcastic and awkward and makes jokes? This comes through in any dialogue where you don’t make the choice - Ryder’s overall tone is very playful and jokey, regardless of whatever options you chose throughout the game. I think this also funnels into Bioware’s general trend of moving their player characters more toward a specific direction - there is no option to be evil, or even an asshole in this game. I consider that a negative, because one of the defining features of an RPG is choosing who you want your character to be. In Andromeda, Ryder is much more of a set personality. I don’t dislike Ryder’s personality by any means, I just felt like I had no hand in it.

Ryder also had a reoccurring issue of brushing things off - something catastrophic would unfold right in front of them, with maybe one line of dialogue referencing it (if even that) and then the game moving on. It made story beats feel a lot less important and Ryder lack believability. The game exploited the fact that Ryder is a younger character by having them deliver dialogue that would be inappropriate or painfully awkward coming out of Shepard (but works for a young leader just trying to find their place). I would’ve liked to have seen their inexperience manifest in more character-driven moments of doubt or even failure. Ryder feels some doubt and uncertainty over their role (especially under Addison and Tann’s scrutiny) but this is quickly resolved in the game. One of the reasons why the end mission was so enjoyable was that it was the first time Ryder really fumbled and felt like someone inexperienced thrown to the wolves and trying to make the best of their situation.

Setting

Maybe just because I’m always desperate for a KOTOR 3, but a lot of the visuals in Andromeda reminded me of KOTOR, particularly the Tempest and the city-on-top-of-a-city Kadara. Voeld, Havarl and the asteroid were all an absolute blast to explore and really recaptured the spirit of awe that ME1’s exploration invoked. I also absolutely loved the visuals of the Remnant tech and vaults, there was a very Tron-meets-Blade-Runner theme that I was 100% here for. 

That being said, the other locations could’ve been more. I’ve read the Art of Mass Effect Andromeda and looking at some of the plans they had for the planets versus the end results is a huge downgrade. In my opinion Havarl, Voeld and the asteroid were the only planets that made me really excited and where I wanted to stop frequently and admire the scenery. Eos, Kadara and Elaaden aren’t badly-designed by any means, but they’re quite boring visually and honestly are really similar to each other. I’ll fully admit that I don’t know anything about game design, so I don’t know if it’s easier to build desert, mountainous worlds and that’s why that setting is so prevalent in Andromeda (and in Dragon Age: Inquisition), but it’s a wasted opportunity. Andromeda was their chance to really shake things up - we’re in an alien galaxy, you can “bend the rules” and make things more visually distinctive, they don’t need to be the same. 

I felt similarly when it came to the design of the Angara - I don’t think their design was horrible, but it definitely felt a little basic. It’s also shocking that in a brand new universe, we’re only introduced to two new alien races on top of losing many races from the original trilogy who don’t appear in this game. In a series with worldbuilding so strong, to see that fall flat is a huge waste.

This is all speculation on my part, but the worlds seemed to lack that clear vision that the original trilogy did. Playing those games, you knew that the creators knew that universe inside and out. I didn’t get that impression here. And because I’m the kind of person to notice, there were a considerable amount of lore inconsistencies from the trilogy and within this game. Some could’ve been fixed easily - like when you meet the Angara and they initially can’t understand you, but then miraculously can once you land on Aya (having SAM throw in a line about how he updated your translator would’ve solved that). Other lore details were more insignificant, but something I noticed as a long-time fan (like how the Genophage is seemingly brushed off, when we know from the original trilogy that it’s immune to gene therapy).

And because I have to, I’m going to briefly touch on the animations. I know it’s been beaten into the ground at this point, but it bears mentioning. I know that this was a new team, I know that this was a new engine for them and I know that the amount of characters they had to animate was colossal. But at the end of the day, this is a product like anything else. For a final product to ship with incomplete animation is unacceptable. I think the reaction online was over-the-top, but I absolutely think that EA and Bioware should be held accountable for releasing a game with that many wide-spread animation issues.

Gameplay (Combat & Crafting)

Overall, I thought it was a fun game to play. The combat is a lot more fluid than the original trilogy for sure, and because of that I enjoyed the combat a lot more. The option to shake up your abilities keeps the game from feeling static and lets you really find your perfect combination of moves. The jetpack really came in handy for combat, and I liked being able to choose if you wanted to be a more stealthy fighter or run into the thick of it. I was also ecstatic to see that the overheating mechanic was brought back for some weapons. However, I would’ve liked to have had more than 3 abilities at a time, and I really wish that you were able to control your squadmates’ powers. The game lets you pull off combo moves which is an incredible new feature - but there’s really no way to plan them, you just have to use your abilities at the exact same time your squadmate does so it ends up being completely random.

Crafting definitely could’ve been more streamlined. The game throws you into the crafting screen with little explanation, and the added step of having to use research points on top of finding schematics and gathering materials felt like another burden. It’s also such a wasted opportunity that you couldn’t craft for your companions. I was literally swimming in gear and materials throughout most of the game, and I didn’t need to upgrade my Ryder’s weapons and armor nearly enough to use them.

Gameplay (Exploration)

First off, the way the sidequests were handled was a huge step up from Dragon Age: Inquisition. I never felt like I had to do sidequests in Andromeda, instead, I felt like I wanted to do them to learn more about the world. They were also organized much better in the menu by being broken out by mission vs. task, and even further into whatever planet (or character) they pertained to. It made it easy to tell what sidequests were more story-related. The sidequests themselves were varied and I felt rewarded for doing them with additional cutscenes, dialogues and the occasional choice. Discovering sidequests while settling planets really helped hammer home the theme of exploration. That being said, the constant running back and forth across the galaxy was annoying (especially with those unskippable traveling cutscenes). At times it was obvious padding to make the game length longer. They also suffered from the common video game problem of distracting from the main plot and feeling more like random tasks than coherent missions important to the story.

Unfortunately, there were also a few features and glitches that made exploration tedious. SAM constantly repeating the same lines nearly drove me out of my mind. I also personally loathed the scanner, I dreaded any mission that required it (which unfortunately ended up being many of them) and the sudoku Remnant puzzles felt like an afterthought. I kept encountering a glitch while driving the Tempest where the game would freeze for 1-3 seconds, then suddenly speed up. That made traveling a headache. I also encountered a few other glitches that impeded finishing missions, and I know from reading responses online that there were quite a few major sidequests that are bugged.

Overall

Andromeda is a game of almosts. Each element is almost solid, but lacking something that drives it home. While not a bad game by any stretch, it’s also not one of my favorites. 

[biofunmy]

Tony Soprano’s House Hits the Market

The house that Tony Soprano called home is listing for sale 20 years after its television debut.

The roughly 5,600-square-foot home in North Caldwell, N.J., where America’s favorite fictional mobster scooped up his morning newspaper and swam with ducks, is being listed for sale by the owners, Patti and Victor Recchia, at a “starting price” of $3.4 million. Set on a 1.5-acre lot, it includes the main house with four bedrooms, four full bathrooms and a powder room; two two-car garages; and a detached one-bedroom guesthouse. The property taxes are $34,005 a year.

The price is ambitious for a neighborhood where comparable homes have sold for between $1.5 million and $2 million, according to Zillow. But Mr. Recchia, 65, the owner of Fourth Generation Construction, which built the house, as well as more than 20 in the development where it’s located, said the value exceeds the brick and mortar.

“Those things can be quantified,” said Mr. Recchia, “but I don’t think you can quantify the intrinsic value of this home.”

The house, where Tony Soprano pulled into the long, curving driveway in the opening credits of “The Sopranos,” was both a frequent filming location and the inspiration for a meticulous replica of the interiors at Silvercup Studios in Queens, N.Y.

Scenes in the pilot episode were filmed in the home’s kitchen, where viewers first met Tony’s long-suffering wife, Carmela, and their children, A.J. and Meadow. Tony, the sullen gangster with mommy issues, waded into the backyard pool with a family of ducks and had a panic attack on the patio in the same episode.

While later indoor scenes were mostly filmed on a Silvercup soundstage, the production crew returned to the Recchias’ home year after year for exterior shots. So do some die-hard fans.

“I was pulling out of the driveway and I noticed a few fellas on their motorcycles coming down the cul-de-sac,” said Ms. Recchia, about a recent interaction. “So I open my car window just to acknowledge them, and they say, ‘Hi, Mrs. Soprano! We’re not going to mess anything up, just want to take a couple photos.’”

“They’ll pull up in like a limo or something, get out in a robe, and pick up a newspaper,” said Mr. Recchia, who encountered a father and son who said the photo op was part of a Father’s Day present.

An unofficial Facebook page for the house has more than 1,200 “visits” at the address, along with dozens of selfies by grinning fans posed in front of the driveway. When the actor James Gandolfini, who played Tony, died suddenly in 2013, fans left flowers, candles and a bag of dried ziti near the curb.

“We’ve met a lot of great people,” Mr. Recchia said.

The house was one of 150 considered for the Sopranos’ home, Ilene S. Landress, a producer for the series, told The New York Times in 2002. “And from then on, the Recchia house determined the look of everything,” she said, while noting that the couple’s real décor was far more tasteful.

Today the home, which was built in 1987, has undergone some cosmetic changes, but retains much of what made the property a character in its own right. Gone are the pickled oak cabinets in the kitchen that defined a certain vision of late 1990s suburbia, but the long kitchen island that anchored the show’s domestic drama still stands.

In the dining room, with pink wallpaper and a grand tray ceiling, Carmela, played by Edie Falco, once pulled an assault rifle from inside a decorative column on the wall, because she thought someone was “jimmying a window.” It turned out to be her teenage daughter, Meadow, trying to sneak into the house through her bedroom window.

The great room, with an octagonal vaulted ceiling, a bar and a white stone fireplace, has matching sets of French doors with gold-trim curtains that lead out to the frequently filmed patio, which has a cabana and breezeway access to the guesthouse.

This was also the Recchias’ home for 32 years, and the real and imagined converge in all corners of the house. In the family room, with a skylight and green carpet, is a tall promotional poster for “The Sopranos,” signed by the actors and crew. Over six seasons, the crew used the property somewhere between 30 and 50 times, the couple said. They declined to say how much they were paid for use of the space.

On a recent tour, Mr. Recchia played home videos of the cast filming the pilot episode in his kitchen. In another video, Mr. Gandolfini joked poolside about not wanting to leave. “I’ll be here every Thursday at 7,” he said with a smile.

As the show became a critical darling and commercial juggernaut for HBO, the Recchias hosted still more celebrities. There was Steve Buscemi, who played Tony Soprano’s cousin, Tony Blundetto, and also directed some episodes. Annie Leibovitz, the famed photographer, shot a portrait of Mr. Gandolfini looking somber in the sitting room. Yogi Berra, the legendary Yankees catcher and manager, swung by once to watch the filming. “The crew was mesmerized,” Ms. Recchia said.

The Recchias are selling because their adult son moved out many years ago and they don’t need as much space. They plan to stay in New Jersey.

Because the couple eschewed working with a real estate agent on the sale, Mr. Recchia is asking qualified bidders to submit offers and proof of funds by June 21 to the email address sopranoshouseforsale@gmail.com. They are bracing for a flood of emails, but said they believe this is the best way to market a home with this kind of cachet.

As for the price, he believes the home has more in common with movie memorabilia or exotic cars than it does with other houses.

Perhaps the right buyer will feel the same way. On a recent morning, a Maybach with tinted windows was parked outside the Recchias’ home. As another car approached the cul-de-sac, the unseen driver sped off.

For weekly email updates on residential real estate news, sign up here. Follow us on Twitter: @nytrealestate.

Sahred From Source link Real Estate

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[daleisgreat]

2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 3

Previous TV Season Recaps – (2013-14 | 2014-15 | 2015-16) 2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 1 (Gotham, Arrow, Flash, Legends of Tomorrow) 2016-17 TV Season Recap, Part 2 (Luke Cage, Iron Fist, Legion, Riverdale)

24: Legacy – The anti-terrorist hit show 24 is back with a new lead star in Eric Carter (Corey Hawkins). Legacy follows the same abbreviated format of the last season a few years prior where it chops the season length in half, but still retains the same ‘real time’ format of the show where everything takes place within an actual hour of time each episode. This benefits the show greatly since it eliminates a ton of the filler episodes past seasons of the show had to suffer through with throwaway mini-arcs on inconsequential plots. It is a hard task to ask anyone to fill in the shoes for 24’s previous lead star, Jack Bauer (Kiefer Sutherland), but Hawkins does a commendable as Eric Carter. Like Bauer, Carter winds up having an unbelievable day with an insane amount of terrorist acts he attempts to stop. This show has always been a guilty pleasure filled with at least a few action scenes of high TV production quality. It also hits all the same beats that dominate past seasons of 24 such as a new director of CTU (the fictional Counter-Terrorist Unit where everyone works) being introduced midway through the season, an inept CTU employee having to overcome their emotional drawbacks in a big moment, CTU getting attacked by the terrorists and finally, discovery of a mole inside CTU! Who is this deceptive traitor!? I use to hate these same notes 24 repeated ad naseum, but after nearly 10 seasons of the show they grew on me and I became to appreciate and expect them much like one would do the same by the unmasking of a Scooby-Doo villain. Grade: B+

South Park – Last year South Park succeeded in having their first season-long spanning storyline so creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone attempted to repeat the formula but with mixed results this go around. The primary storyline for this season is an ultimate online troll being on the loose and messing with the students of South Park Elementary. It winds up being a funny mystery leading up to the reveal, and how the online society of the most vile online trolls track down the South Park troll and come together to stop the Netherlands from unleashing their troll tracker that would spell certain worldwide doom. That story arc is fun to follow along with and indulge how it all plays out. The backup story of Cartman finding his first girlfriend and renouncing his bullying ways in the name of true love is also a hoot to keep up with. One wrench that got thrown in for this season however was the 2016 US election. The election was also part of the season-long spanning arc, but Stone & Parker admitted in an interview on the Bill Simmons podcast they did not anticipate the outcome and had to do last minute rewrites and make drastic changes to the remaining episodes of the season as a result. It is apparent some parts of the greater season-long arc fizzle out a little bit and lose their muster after the election where South Park’s version of Donald Trump (who else, but Mr. Garrison) becomes President. The episodes are not disasters by any means, but lack the punch of the usual unapologetically offensive episodes of the show. The creators stated in the same interview they learned their lesson and plan on going back to self-contained story arcs in single episodes next season. Grade: B

Horace and Pete – This show is Louis C.K.’s take on a dark, twisted version of Cheers. If that caught your interest, stop reading now and immediately binge watch all 10 episodes. For everyone else, Horace (Louis C.K.) and Pete (Steve Buscemi) run a dive bar with their uncle, Pete (Alan Alda) and sister, Sylvia (Edie Falco). There is a lot of family drama transparent throughout the series that rears its ugly head in each episode as Horace and Pete want to keep the bar running while Sylvia wants to sell it to pay for her cancer operation. It is honestly hard to watch, but in a good way if that makes sense because it touches on a lot of deep family issues that I rarely see other shows go into and I imagine there must be at least a couple of the issues that are apparent here that should resonate with most on some level. Between all the family drama there are much needed moments of levity with the family dealing with a regular set of customers in everyday conversations that may or may not have a point to them but are a delight to take in because of how wonderfully the dialogue is written. The show is filmed like a stage play with limited camera angles and no special effects which is a perfect complement to the dive bar setting. Almost all of the scenes take place either in the bar or in the apartment Horace & Pete reside in directly on top of the bar. Again, there is at least one or two rough scenes to take in each episode because Horace & Pete tackles issues unlike most other shows and does not hold anything back, especially with its ending that left me speechless. Highest of recommendations! Grade: A+

Stranger Things – This was the original series that rocked Netflix last year. Imagine a TV series version of the hit sci-fi film, Super 8 from several years ago and that is almost exactly what is Stranger Things. I love how it nails the early 80s setting I hold so dear. Poor Will Byers (Noah Schnapp) gets kidnapped by a mysterious creature, and now his friends Mike (Finn Wolfhard), Dustin (Gaten Matarazzo) and Lucas (Caleb McLaughlin) team up with mysterious newcomer to town, Eleven (Millie Brown) to track down Will. Will’s older brother, Jonathon (Charlie Heaton) and his mom, Joyce (Winona Ryder) also go through their own unique journeys while tracking down Will. Ryder is in a word, awesome in her portrayal of gradually losing her mind while her home reveals clues to Jon’s whereabouts. The actual sci-fi parts of the show dealing with the creature and alternate dimensions were a little bit on the weak side for me, and for whatever reason did not blow me away. I was more a fan of the family and Sheriff Hopper’s (David Harbour) journey piecing together the mystery and tracking down Will and taking in all the callbacks to the early 1980s setting and lifestyle. There is also a side story for Jon where he tries to win over love interest Nancy (Natalia Dyer) from the school jock that is a guilty pleasure trope of mine. I liked a lot of the characters and certain parts of the show, but I am not as infatuated with Stranger Things as most others. I am still happy to hear Netflix picked it up for a second season and plan to keep up with it like almost everyone else on Netflix. Grade: B Summer Viewing Plans - TV viewing plans for the summer is to burn through the rest of Riverdale and catch up on a lot of HBO programs. The final season of Leftovers just wrapped up and I loved how season two ended so I am psyched to grind through that series. Of course I plan on eating up the latest season of Game of Thrones once that premieres within the next month. Finally, I hope to catch up on The Rock’s original HBO show Ballers I am a season and a half behind. If all goes according to plan, check back here for a summer TV recap blog! Past TV/Web Series Blogs 2013-14 TV Season Recap 2014-15 TV Season Recap 2015-16 TV Season Recap Adventures of Briscoe County Jr: The Complete Series Angry Videogame Nerd Volumes 7-9 Mortal Kombat: Legacy - Season 1 OJ: Made in America: 30 for 30 RedvsBlue - Seasons 1-13 Roseanne – Seasons 1-9 Seinfeld Final Season Superheroes: A Never-Ending Battle Superheroes: Pioneers of Television

[thelastharbinger]

And then it made almost $500MIL in global box office it's opening weekend

this is so funny 😂

[jollysunflora]

#note: edie does not play the character on the left!

this is so funny 😂