#not what everyone else on tumblr is doing

[jadebrightwind]

I reblogged this yesterday, but whenever I open tumblr now to take a quick break from moving I see it on my feed again. I keep thinking about it.

This is why it is hard for me to truly hate anyone. I can get frustrated with their behaviors- furious and angry, even - but I always come back to that could have been me. I could be that person, if pushed in just the right way.

I heard that phrase recently from someone, when I expressed fear of becoming the next X…. “You’re nothing like X.”

I’m nothing like X…now. But if things went truly poorly for me? If my mental health took a further nosedive? If I didn’t have a support system in place, full of friends and family who I knew would love and forgive me even if I slipped up? Maybe I would resort to terrible tactics just to be loved. Maybe in my desperation for friendship and acceptance, I could do something despicable. I won’t know for sure unless I’m there. But I can’t rule it out. I can’t rightfully say that I would behave better than someone else in a situation I haven’t been in. I could try to be on my best behavior, but desperation does things to people. Desperation for food, shelter, safety, acceptance, health, security.

Protecting yourself from harmful people is important, vital, and you’re not responsible for fixing the problems of everyone who is broken that comes across your door. You can’t. No ONE person can. But othering someone… it’s very dangerous. I can’t other someone lightly. Because in their face, I can see mine.

It’s terrifying to watch everyone around you other someone that could have been you. Terrifying. Because you can’t stop thinking about when it is going to be you - what will happen if you really are next. Because you could be. If enough goes wrong, you could be the dead wolf in the snow, and your fellow humans could say “good riddance”.

Maybe I’m overly empathetic. But I’d rather see a terrible person transform into a much better one than see them killed as looked upon as irredeemable. I’m not idealistic enough to say that can happen for everyone. But it’s hard for me to take joy in the annihilation of real, living humans. Because what if that were me? What would it take?

© pet_foolery

[sokkastyles]

There's this one fanfiction I read once that takes place after the events of TSR. Basically, after the events of TSR, Katara is noticeably behaving very differently from the way she used to. She's still caring and kind and helpful, but she's not forcing herself to be positive and happy when she's not, and she's acknowledging how overwhelmed she is more often. Everyone in the Gaang notices this, but Aang is exceptionally upset about this. Katara's also upset about this because Aang isn't trying to understand her and why she's changed. She overhears him talking to Zuko about this and I think Aang said something about them needing to make Katara happy again or the way she was before or something. Zuko says something along the lines of "maybe she doesn't want to be that person anymore. maybe that's not really who she is." And Aang disagrees and gets angry at this and then stomps away angrily. But Katara hugs Zuko and feels properly understood for the first time. It's a great story, and I found it on Tumblr, but I don't remember who wrote it or which ATLA blog it was on so I don't have a link (I wish I remembered so I could give proper credit). But if you do happen to find it, please read it, it's so good. I hope you're doing well.

Don't know the fic, but posting so that if anyone else recognizes it they can drop a name or a link.

This does feel very realistic for what I think would happen, and I think this, more than anything, is the real change in Katara that Aang fears and tries to prevent - A Katara who no longer feels the need to carry everyone's burdens for them at the expense of herself. I don't think he does this consciously, but that is very much at the heart of why the Southern Raiders is so upsetting for him.

[dustcrumbs]

u can tell I knew what I was doing wit Horror and Nightmare compared to everyone else

anyways, concepts!! Horror is most likely to be finished already hehe, Nightmare too.

Killer is going to stay the same, maybe minor add-ons

Dust is hard to redesign, I lime how he looks already.. he's just plain. Error is okay, ig

I'll tinker wit them more when I do their digital references. ghahh

but I'll be drawing their designs on this tumblr, and when they're completely done I'll move them onto the emo sanses blog

Nightmare cross dressing randomly popped up when I was doodling them. I don't think they care about gender norms, lil fuck don't give one either

[almostthursdayy]

Do you have any facts about L in Death Day? Or maybe stuff that's backstory-related?

I just wanna know more about your interpretation of him because you never miss + I love his DD design so very much :']

got really excited about this ask and ended up making a whole family tree + collage of memories from L’s childhood. . . whoops! ( i already know tumblr gonna chew and EAT these images so click for better quality lolol )

sphiel ( + alt arts ) about family tree 🌳 below the read more!

🌳 LAWLIET FAMILY TREE

first off, everyone’s wreath is based off their ethnicity. if someone has more than one ethnicity ( literally like 75% on the diagram ) their wreath is like some kind of mutant almagamation hybrid lovechild tree of the different kinds of trees.

>> also if they are dead, so is their wreath! and they’re also desaturated / greyed out. . . if they’re dead and crying, it means they were murdered.

>> and also each limb and each little leaf bush signifies something.

>> also i made a 4 minute long tiktok video speed explaining this you can click to see here lol

i’ll go L outwards for this, i hope you enjoy!!

🍰 LOVE ‘ L ‘ LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar ), ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

KOFI, biological mother: strong connection besides death. smarts came from her, she’s an intellectual lady who everyone always told him he looked just like her when she was alive.

VINCENT, biological father: also strong connection besides death. got his conviction and radicalism from him ( also he’s completely based on canon L’s looks ). L always thought he looked more like him than his mom.

WATARI, adoptive father: very strong connection, relies on this man for literally everything. very unorthodox father-son relationship, but L would call watari his father.

M, wife: oouughhhh he’s in love with her strange ways and peculiar looks. L’s type is interesting people, unpredictable folks who can pull the rug out from under him. . . M’s just that.

NEAR, biological daughter: his little princess, isn’t she beautiful? if near has a bad day, L’s having a bad day. currently he’s having the biggest ego trip right now because near wants to be just like him. and his selfish immature side kind of loves that he created his number 1 fan.

MELLO, adoptive son: that’s his boy, his interesting little guy that he totally doesn’t study the reaction of in every interaction they have. ( frankly most interactions L has he subconsciously treats as tests on the other ) but this kid interests him, so he’s very welcome to stick around and be his son, his little prince.

ROGER, father-in-law-figure: ‘ everytime we interact, i deduce you are a little less qualified for the job watari has given you. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ watari & L’s connection line is bountiful on his side to show the benefits of he and watari’s relationship. there is a small branch at the base of the limb to resemble somebody else L had a somewhat similar relationship with once upon a time. but shes not pictured.

➡️➡️ his wreath is covered in flowers, cocoa pods, and leaves to symbolize that he should have a very long life ahead of him.

➡️➡️ the small branch shooting off L & M’s love line is to represent his effort to connect to mello.

💫 KOFI PÍÈSÍE ‘ PAPRIKA ‘ PEPRAH-LAWLIET

ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

VINCENT, husband: she loved this man to bits! oh just the absolute most! it was a storybook romance truly, too good for this earth- - no one got her quite like her do <3

L, biological son: her pretty little boy, she was gonna make sure he was safe and protected in this big scary world no matter what! couldn’t wait to see what her little smartie grew up to be.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves and her cocoa pods are rotty because she is very very dead. . . all of her branches represent family members she had, her connection to them is severed in some form or way.

🎨 VINCENT ‘ DO ‘ LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

KOFI, wife: his first muse, his eternal flame, good christ he loved her to to the point of dedicating everything to her. all his paintings revolved around her in some form of way. often by including the stars she was so fond of.

L, biological son: if vincent was the moon, kofi was the sun, L was all the little tinsy stars. his one in a billion little guy. like kofi, vincent was also steadfast in L being able to protect himself from the big scary world. he was so proud of the little man he was becoming.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves because he is very very dead. . . and not really any branches due to a complete lack of family besides wife & son.

➡️➡️ one spikey for each person he’s gravely pissed off. . . three spikes lead to kofi for those hateful individuals who also despise her just by marrying him. and two spikes lead to L for two absolutely hateful sons of bitches who loathe L aswell.

🗝️ QUILLISH ‘ WATARI ‘ WAMMY

european ( english oak )

L, adoptive son: ah yes, his little prodigy that really should get out of the house more. . . fortunately, there’s a solution to that. . . just making him go! which L doesn’t seem to whine and complain about like he did once he upon a time, years ago. seems his boy has finally grown into a man that understands, whether he likes it or not, engaging in more civilian experiences is a necessity for he and his family’s health.

➡️➡️ watari doesn’t see the care he still puts into L now as continuing his fatherly care. it’s strictly as his butler / righthand. . . watari does not take payment for this work though as he ‘ has all he could ever want already ‘.

ROGER, life-long friend / father-in-law-figure: watari believes wholeheartedly roger can run the orphanage they built from the ground together. it’s too much faith and belief, really. so much that it blinds him to seeing how much roger is NOT qualified for this.

M, daughter-in-law: changed so much since the day she walked into wammy’s. . . he’s watched her grow from a much farther distance than L. he’s happy with the progress she’s made in her health from the sickly little girl who needed the orphanages help. happy to be her butler and listening ear when need be.

NEAR & MELLO, adoptive grandchildren: oh these children are much easier to please than L was at his age. . . but maybe that’s just the years of experience of handling L speaking. want a toy? got it. new puzzle? right on the way. need to be driven to soccer practice? hop in the car.

➡️➡️ since near isn’t the ultimate sweet tooth like L, and mello only really likes chocolate worth sweets, watari very much so enjoys making them treats that leave the comfort zone of L’s sugar craving.

KOFI & VINCENT, adoptive son’s biological parents: he bets they were wonderful people.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ no leaves on his wreath to signify he is old as a fart. but his longest branches have leaves to indicate that those connections are strong and he does enjoy them!

➡️➡️ each branch signifies a person not shown in watari’s life. specifically the one connected to his wreath is for family no longer here. the ones all along his line ‘ connected ‘ to roger is representative of other colleagues and friends. and the branches on his connection line to L resemble other children watari had a bond with as a caregiver. though none of them were strong, or made it as far, as his relationship with his son, L.

🥀 MASATOSHI ‘ M ‘ MIYAKE

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

AKUMI, biological mother: M only knows her through journal entries akumi started to write at the beginning of her pregnancy, like a baby scrapbook! M treats that thing like her bible. . . akumi was very excited to be a mother. . . such a shame she died right at the start of what should’ve been their jounrey together, huh?

KINSHU, biological father: M also never got to meet him. he died before she was born trying to protect akumi & her. his death is what caused the stress that killed akumi. so it’s all just truly unfortunate.

ROGER, father-figure: spent the most time with her during her years at wammy’s out of any other caregiver. since she was ‘ the easiest kids to deal with ‘ ( something she wore with honor back then, now doesn’t like to be reminded about ). M had once hoped one day roger would adopt her like watari did with L, now she’s glad he didn’t. as he continues to fumble his interactions with her ‘ not so easy to handle ‘ children. . .

L, husband: the weird little freak that lives in the walls of her manor. he intrigues her with his obtuse behavior and strange existence. . . but no seriously she’s head over heels for this scratchy beast. loves how much he spoils her rotten

NEAR, biological daughter: her precious girl, named near because she’s so near and dear to her heart, her little smartie pants whose just so goddamn smart. works herself happily to the bone to ensure near’s receiving the best care all around.

MELLO, adoptive son: her precious boy, her marshmallow, her little angel who always has a reasoning for his every obtuse action in her eyes. same with mello, M’s working round the clock to give him the best life a kid like him can have.

GEVANNI, little-brother-figure: sees him once a year at christmas but it’s like no time has passed every single year. first kid she connected with after becoming a caregiver at wammy’s at 18. but really was more like his stern older sister than somebody responsible for his wellbeing ( he was already a late teen when they met. . . wammy’s really wasn’t given the time to undo all the shit he went through beforehand )

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ the way i depicted the japanese cedar doesn’t really have branches or ‘ leaves ‘ like the others- - but each little flowery looking thing represents somebody from her past or another relationship she has that isn’t depicted. . .

➡️➡️ her and roger’s connection isn’t nearly as strong as L’s and watari’s, and the three flowers on her end / three leaves on his represents a ‘ three chances ‘ mentality with his behavior.

➡️➡️ her and gevanni’s connection line is weak and nontouching due to the sheer distance between them. as gevanni kicked bricks and moved to the U.S.A. basically the second after he turned 18. still, it’s there, they still care about eachother.

⌛️ AKUMI HATO

japanese ( japanese cedar )

KINSHU, lover: she had a thing for ghostly men who say cryptic shit. and that’s exactly the type of man kinshu was. her love for him ran hot. really, the world wasn’t ready for this kind of lover. and really, her entire world shattered into a million little pieces when he died. . .

M, biological daughter: oh her precious girl, she knows M was going to go on to do great things. and do very very well for herself. after all, she is her daughter, it’s practically fated she’ll take the world by storm.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ every dead flower was a family member akumi had that didn’t take M in after she died. fortunately, as akumi doesn’t like her other family anyhow!

🕊️ KINSHU MIYAKE

japanese ( japanese cedar )

AKUMI, lover: he would do anything for her, he’s kiss the dirty ground she walks on. he’d rob every bank, he’d capture two of every animal, a true yearner.

M, biological daughter: the little ruler of his life in the making. he couldn’t wait to meet her, no doubt he was never more excited for something in his life. . . shame he never got to meet her, but he wouldn’t take back what he sacrificed to keep her safe.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ like akumi, each dead flower is a relative that didn’t take M in. which he would also be glad about, as he hated his family also. . . too loud- - too stupid- - too barbaric.

🫚 ROGER RUVIE

european ( english oak )

WATARI, life-long friend / father-in-law-figure: what would life be without his best bud in it? literally have been friends since roger can remember. and has basically just followed watari’s close footsteps wherever he went. ‘ you want to open an orphanage in the rubble of ww2? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want me to work there and generally help / care for the children? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want to change the mission of the orphanage to give care to the most misfortunate kids in the world? okay! ‘ , ‘ you want to retire and leave this place full of deeply troubled children in my care because you trust me and believe i enjoy this line of work? okay! ‘. roger knows damn well he doesn’t like kids. . . but watari doesn’t gotta know that.

M, daughter-figure: she was so easy to handle when she was younger. why is she so difficult now??? why are her children. . . the way that they are. . .? roger can’t believe the girl he once knew happily spends her days wrangling these two little goblins. . . and why are they not biting her but keep trying to bite me??

L, son-in-law-figure: ‘ oh L, watari’s pride and joy. you’re probably why your children are so weird. ‘

NEAR & MELLO, grandchildren-figure: ‘ why won’t you hug me but will hug watari? ‘

GEVANNI, family-friend-figure: ‘ hey you! i remember you! you were a real piece of work back then! haha! ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ roger still has a lot of leaves on his wreath to signify he has a lot more life to live.

➡️➡️ same rules as watari’s, the little branches of his connecting line resemble children roger has had a similar relationship than what he has with M. but none of them have gone on as well / long as with M. >> the branches off his connection line to watari represents friends in similar vein. and both connectinng lines have leaves to symbolize the strength in them.

🌥️ ‘ NEAR ‘ RIVER MIYAKE-LAWLIET

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar ), ghanian ( cocoa tree ) , thai ( golden shower tree )

M, biological mother: oh, so this is where she got her brashness and attitude. near is glad this trait passed down, a lot less people try to tread on her when she’s got generational venom.

➡️➡️ near, whether she aware of it or not, puts a solid effort into what M says and asks of her. when often the words of others are sent into the shredder of near’s mind. this is because she loves this woman, that’s her momma, one of her only friends.

L, biological father: oh this is her idol right now! her own father has checked off every box on deserving near’s respect and admiration with flying colors! she wants to be just like him! she wants to do what he does and how he does it! she wants to be the next L!

MELLO, adoptive brother: she thinks he’s interesting, and looks up to him in her own unique way. he doesn’t know that though, and she ain’t gonna tell him.

➡️➡️ near enjoys shadowing mello’s activities, not very much so participating, but spectating. the cause and effect of what he does fascinates her.

WATARI, adoptive grandfather: ‘ yay the toy guy, thank you for the toy. yeah your gifts put me at ease enough that we can hug for a solid three seconds. ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ don’t touch me, don’t talk to me, you say nothing of value. don’t whine about it either, it’s your fault you are the way you are. ‘

GEVANNI, family-friend-figure: she thinks he’s very much so cool as fuck. he’s literally the alternative older cousin with the kickass car and laid back attitude. who, just like her, has interests outside of what would be deemed normal for who he is. . . basically, he’s everything she wishes she could be. but won’t be, because her brain just isn’t built to compute like his.

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ not much to go off of because she’s just a teensy thing. . . but under the flags is the very first flower, pointed at gevanni. meant to symbolize the importance of their relationship to her that will last years to come.

🍫 MIHAEL ‘ MELLO ‘ LAWLIET

croatian ( slovanian oak ) , european ( english oak )

M, adoptive mother: his confidant, his protector. didn’t give up on him when everyone else did. he’s too little and damaged to really express that he’s grateful for her, but one day he will. for now, his continuous reliance on her will just have to be proof enough that he trusts her.

L, adoptive father: oh this guy is cool. . . THIS GUY IS FAMOUS!! mello wants to be the next L right now, but as a better and brighter successor, he wants to be the BEST! and he’ll do whatever it takes to win L’s affection and ensure this future is his!

NEAR, adoptive sister: ‘ augh! don’t you see i’m trying to become my own person? damnit! stop following me around!!! “ “ . . . oh no wait, don’t go, watch this totally epic prank i’m about to pull you’ve love it! “

LILLIE, biological aunt: heaven has to be real because his aunt really deserves it. he misses her the absolute most. . .

WATARI, adoptive grandfather: ‘ yay the guy that gives me chocolate even after i’ve been cut off for the day. sure i’ll let you hug me because of these positive experiences we’ve had. don’t expect a hug back though, i’m not a pansy. ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ M & L said i can bite you if you try to force me into a hug again. but i’m just gonna do it right now anyways because i don’t like the look on your face. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ his wreath is growing little acorns to signify his growth since entering the family. that’s why there are so many around the knot that connects him to near, M & L.

➡️➡️ the connecting line to him and his aunt is force cut, but still there, and still strong. he already has two branches trying to grow towards her.

➡️➡️ the little branches jabbing into near’s wreath symbolizes how they don’t always get along that well. and they’re growing from mello’s side despite their spats being a two person effort because near’s very good at manipulating situations into looking like she’s just an unfortunate passerby. especially with mello who is still dealing with lots and lots of big emotions. . .

➡️➡️ two of the little acorns growing represents matt but i ain’t gonna tell you which:3c

📿 LILLIE KEEHL

croatian ( slovanian oak )

MELLO, biological nephew: oh her little buddy, it should’ve just been him and her from the very start. lillie’s every rotty little fiber is tensed not knowing if he’s safe from her horrid sister and wretched brother-in-law. . .

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ what you should expect at this point. no leaves because she’s dead, branches symbolize family not shown. her branches reach in mello’s direction always.

💰STEPHEN ‘ GEVANNI ‘ LOUD

european ( english oak ) , japanese ( japanese cedar )

M, big-sister-figure: gevanni once rejected M’s proposal of joining the family. as he didn’t want family holding him back. still, despite his efforts to stay hidden in the darkest little crevices of the world, M manages to get him an invitation for christmas dinner every year. and he RSVP’s every single time.

L, brother-in-law-figure: ‘ god you’re strange. . . i can see why M likes you. ‘

NEAR & MELLO, niece-&-nephew-figure: ‘ hey kids, wanna hear about the time i broke into this super big important museum and stole a statue bust worth millions??? oh, just near? fine by me-! ‘

ROGER, grandfather-figure: ‘ every family’s gotta have a guy like you around, roger, it just ain’t the full experience without the weird grandpa. ‘

WATARI, grandfather-figure: ‘ you may be responsible for leaving roger in charge of wammy’s, and that might have been a crazy decision, but god do you make a good strawberry shortcake. ‘

BRANCHES & LEAVES SIGNIFICANCE:

➡️➡️ each little leafy tendril is a connection gevanni has. BUT NOT FAMILY! he doesn’t have any of that. . . he’s a lone wolf. . . an alpha male, if you will.

➡️➡️ still, the connection to M is there, and he is developing a strong connection with near, slowly.

🌳 yay, thank god, i’m done. this is so long, but i love it. and just like most asks i take every single chsnce to yap too much. . . but now you know about L’s entire family dynamics!! so yayy!!!!!

THESE are just little memories. . . L coming to wammy’s house, he and M’s first kiss, & that time he caught M crying and tried to comfort her despite being right shit at it. it’s the thought that counts, y’know <3

[katisconfused]

Putting the whole thread under a readmore because against all odds, it looks like tumblr might outlast twitter:

Tweet thread by The Tweedy Mutant:

One of the cruelest things about Autistic/ADHD masking is that you learn to treat positive emotions as a warning sign that you're about to do something "wrong" and that it is therefore "safest for everyone" if you maintain a constant, low-key negative internal emotional state.

To feel joy, you have to be in yourself and in the moment. You're not worried about how you appear to others. You can't be both hypercritical of your existence while also reveling in it.

Joy means that the mechanism for monitoring/policing yourself for the comfort of others no longer takes priority.

And when being yourself is so often a "wrong" way to be, being yourself without surveilling/"mitigating" yourself can feel perilous.

In fact, we've often been told it *is*perilous - to others. We're told that we're "rude", "weird", "extra", "unthinking", "impulsive", "over-the-top", "self-absorbed", "oblivious", "annoying", etc.

We don't hear those messages when we're already over-analyzing our behaviours from the point of view of everyone else and adapting them accordingly.

We hear those messages when the connection with that normativity-focused inner critic drops and family, bosses, educators, colleagues, etc. step in to play that role.

That might come from a meltdown or shut down, but it also happens in moments of true unselfconscious joy.

So joy feels dangerous. Joy becomes associated with alienating others, and eventually we come to feel alienated from joy itself.

I realized today that whenever I feel truly immersed in positive emotions (heck, even plain uncomplicated contentment), I am immediately fearful of who or what I must be irritating, neglecting, overstepping, steamrolling, etc.

I have received the message that my joy comes at a cost to everyone else. My happiness is something I do to others.

So I have learned to always keep my emotional barometer just slightly inside of the depressed range.

I can have a little mirth, as a treat.

CW: suicide/self harm

This is deadly. There is nothing surprising at all about the suicide and self-harm statistics of ADHD and Autistic folks once you understand that we are conditioned in this way. Training people to be depressed is deadly.

Sometimes I say that I am happiest when I am by myself, but I wonder if maybe I am just only actually "allowed to feel happy like truly happy without that lingering soupçon of impending indecorum and fuckuppery -- when I am by myself.

(Well not completely by myself. Usually also with my cats. Because they're always game for a little indecorum and fuckuppery.)

Oof I'm sorry this is all resonating with folks.

Another reason why I find myself trying to "manage my emotional expectations" is bc of the whiplash you get from being kneecapped when only moments before you were truly, neurodivergently happy.

It's like the physical feeling of getting the wind knocked out of you but on an existential level.

0/10 would not recommend

This thread was brought to you by one of those "find words for your feelings"

charts and the jarring realization that I view every emotion listed under "happy with suspicion and try to limit how much of it I experience.

Original post was made unrebloggable so I'm reposting the link. Click through for the whole thread.

[deans-baby-momma]

**Summary**: When Jensen admits to going home with someone else, will his and Y/N's marriage survive?

**Warnings**: Angst, heartbreak, smut, language

Chapter 8

“What are you talking about?” Jensen cautiously asks his friend and castmate.

“This whole thing is a setup,” Misha tells the couple almost excitedly. “Athena has told everyone this fantastic story of her time with you but you see her friend is a fanfiction writer and what happened is exactly the way the friend’s story goes. Look’” he hands them the pages.

Jensen skims through the pages, handing each one to Y/N as he finishes. It appears that Misha is correct. Everything from meeting in a bar to going home with the reader and having some crazy, acrobatic sex ending in a pregnancy is in there in print. 

However, that is where the similarities end -well except for the sex- that didn't even happen. The story continues that Jensen agrees to be a father to the illegitimate child and the couple end up together. 

Jensen is seething as he finishes the last page and hands it off. He turns toward the room where the others are he has the desire to go in there and shout at Athena, her friend, and anyone else who gets in his way, he won’t but he’d like to. He is stopped by the sound of Y/N's voice as he takes a step toward the doorway.

“What are you going to do?” she asks her lip near to quivering.

“I'm asking for a recess or whatever the fuck will pause this whole shitshow!” Jensen answers with a flail of his arms. 

Jensen disappears into the room before returning a few moments later with Thomas Bell trailing behind him. He introduces the attorney to Misha and together they explain what the older man discovered. 

Y/N stood there listening while staring at the papers in her hands.When requested, she handed them to the lawyer and unconsciously held her breath while he looked them over.

“I'm going to get these copied and then present them for evidence. Mr. Collins,” he turns to Misha. “Are you willing to stick around and go on record stating how you came across this?”

“Absolutely!” Misha says with an enthusiastic nod.

As soon as the attorney walks away, Jensen and Y/N both attack Misha in hugs.

“Thank you man,” Jensen says as he pulls back. “With what Y/N just told me and your finding that, I might just get out of this.”

“Wait. What do you know?” Misha turns to her.

“A few weeks ago, I overheard this girl telling her friends about that night. But at that time, she said he bent her over the couch and fucked her hard and fast. But now she's claiming it was more intimate and in her bed, which is in the story, so….” Y/N  trails off as Mr. Bell returns to stand with the group.

“This is admissible as evidence of deception and misrepresentation so why don't we go present it to the defendant’s counsel, and see how they react?”

Inside the deposition room, Athena and her attorney are huddled together, speaking in whispers, although they are quiet Athena’s posture seems to be confident.

Jensen and Y/N take their previous seats as Misha takes one next to Y/N; Mr. Bell approaches the stenographer and announces that he has new evidence to address.

He hands one stack of papers to the lady and then heads to his seat next to Jensen. 

“It has been brought to our attention-” he announces as he hands another stack of papers to Mr. Howell. “-that Miss Haligan might be confusing fantasy with reality.”

“What is this?” Mr. Howell questions he skims through the first few pages.

“It's called fanfiction sir,” Misha pipes up. “Our fans write-”

“I know what fanfiction is, Mr. Collins!” the man sighs, “I was asking my client.”

Athena's whole demeanor changes. She slumps back in her chair and refuses to meet anyone's eye. 

“Also, the author of this particular piece goes by the Tumblr handle Deansgirl4ever-” Mr. Bell explains. “-and upon some investigation by my client's friend, this handle belongs to   Krissi Nelson.” He pulls his copy of the picture of the two friends and lays it flat on the table before looking over at Athena's friend. “Which happens to be you, correct?”

The two girls glance at each other and then Krissi nods slightly.

“You’ll need to speak up, we need verbal confirmation please, “ Jensen's attorney says.

“Yes, that's me,” Krissi answers.

“Thank you, Miss Nelson-” Mr. Bell nods at her and then turns his attention to Athena and her counsel. “Would you like to explain this?”

Athena starts crying and reaches for the kleenex box on the table. 

Y/N watches the girl's reaction and feels no pity whatsoever for her. This young girl almost broke up her marriage. 

“I-I'm sorry. I lied. Yes, I met Jensen at the bar and tricked him into coming home with me.”

“And what happened once you two arrived at your house?”

“I threw myself at him,” Athena answered truthfully.

“Why?” Mr. Bell inquires.

“Isn't it obvious?”

“We need you to verbalize your intent with Mr. Ackles,” Mr. Bell explains. “For the reporter.”

“I wanted to have sex with him so I could claim he was the father of my baby,” Athena admits.

“For the record, please confirm: are you pregnant?”

“Yea,” Athena whispers and then clears her throat. “Yes, I am 13 weeks pregnant.”

“Wait,” Jensen speaks up. “That night we met was only 7 weeks ago.”

Mr. Bell turns and looks at Jensen, silently admonishing and asking him to be quiet.

“So you were already pregnant?” he asks.

“Yes.”

“And where is the actual father?”

“I don't know. Don't know who he is,” Athena answers with a shrug of her shoulders. 

Y/N stands up quickly, knocking her chair back and to the ground and before anyone could do anything, lunges over the table and slaps the young girl.

“You fucking whore!” .

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Preview of next chapter: “God, I'm glad that's over,” Jensen sighs as he lays his head against the headrest and closes his eyes.

“Me too but I still think I could've taken her,” Y/N says, causing Jensen to open his eyes to look at his wife. There is a slight smile on her lips.

“C'mere Ronda Rousey,” he chuckles, pulling her face to his and kissing her soundly. “Gotta admit that was kinda hot!”

She smiles up at him, and then he starts the vehicle and heads home.

TAGS: @spnbaby-67 @sea040561 @delightfullykrispypeach @larajadeschmidt13 @atc74 @vicariouslythruspn @squirrelnotsam @ironreviewangel @blacktithe7 @hoboal87 @mogaruke @supraveng @lyarr24 @kazsrm67 @chriszgirl92 @deanwithscissors @raisinggray @fanfic-n-tabulous @hobby27 @stoneyggirl2 @purpleeclipseeggsland @kmc1989 @leigh70 @nancymcl @muhahaha303 @justwhisperingfantasies @jackles010378 @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deanna45 @ozwriterchick @mandee7 @spnaquakindgdom @impala67rollingthroughtown @generalmoonpolice @1313diana @roseblue373 @palerogue1 @deansimpalababy @queen-cs

[27dragons]

Hiii I‘ve been loving seeing you more on my dash lately, been following you and reading your fics for like six years now and truly no one else’s works have filled my bookmarks as much as yours (and Tisfans of course).

One of yours was the very first winteriron fic I ever read and it had me fall in love instantly, haven’t found anything else like them since. I love that you found your writing muse again, and I know it’s been a long time and a lot of the fandom has fizzled out. But I just wanted to pop in an ask if maybe one day you could see yourself writing MCU again?

In any case, it’s been a lot of lovely years with your writing and you’ll make (and are making) a lot of other new people incredibly happy with your amazing skill and talent for words, worldbuilding and characterisation <3

Hey there! I'm so delighted that you've enjoyed my fics so much!!! It really means a lot to me.

The tldr is that yes, there's at least a slim chance that I might write winteriron/MCU again one day. There is a whole stack of partially-written WIPs still in my writing folder that I can't bring myself to archive and retire.

I'll admit that my enthusiasm for MCU faded a lot when they killed Tony off. And then a massive surge in my depression (thanks in part to COVID and then tisfan's death and then my mom's) all but extinguished my ability to write. I had a creative burst for about 3 months in 2023 with Sandman and the Dreamling ship that resulted in about a dozen fics, but the one fic that I managed to write in 2024 (which was winteriron!) felt like pulling teeth to finish.

But I'm still reading some winteriron fics (and the occasional stony), so it's not entirely dead to me. (For that matter, I did quite a few winteriron/MCU ficlets with my Countdowns here on tumblr in both '23 and '24 - check my "countdown to 2024" and "countdown to 2025" tags if you missed those.)

It's just that winteriron is closely tied to tisfan for me (even before we were writing together, she was always my beta reader), and it's hard to think about it without her. (Also, I've written SO MUCH winteriron, it's hard to come up with any scenarios that I haven't already done, lol)

The Arcane/Jayvik bug has bitten hard, and it's such a relief to know that I can still write, but I'm still waiting to see if this will fizzle out again after a few months like the Dreamling stuff did.

If I do keep writing, there's a pretty decent chance that I will eventually come back to winteriron, at least occasionally. If nothing else, I'd love to one day finish the fic that tisfan and I were working on when she had her stroke.

But I expect it will take a while. If you asked because you're considering unfollowing/unsubscribing so your inbox and dash aren't cluttered with notifications for a fandom you have no interest in, then I promise I won't be offended if you want to do that and just set yourself a reminder to check back in a year to see what happened. I've made that decision myself a few times, and I know it comes with a sliver of heartbreak and guilt. But I understand that not everyone will want to follow me everywhere that I go, and that in no way diminishes my appreciation for the love you've given my fics in the past, whether you just clicked kudos or left a comment on every chapter.

Thank you again for this very kind note. I'm so happy to have given you something you've enjoyed so much.

❤️💛

[redkarasutengu]

× | Hello everyone. This is the first time I've posted something here, so I don't know exactly how Tumblr works. But despite this, I decided to share with you my collection of headcanons on Vito. | ×

ATTENTION: My English is bad, so if some words are translated incorrectly, please take note. Thank you.

TW/CW: References to war, religion, sexual and physical violence.

· · ─────── ·✧· ─────── · ·

My collection of headcanons on Vito

· · ─────── ·✧· ─────── · ·

Headcanons based on canonical facts or close to the canon

► During his school years, Vito was fond of baseball and even belonged to a baseball club. He often stayed at school after school hours just to play baseball with his teammates. He participated in baseball games organized by the school where he studied. Although she doesn't play baseball as actively as an adult, Scaletta still doesn't mind watching baseball games and has warm feelings for this sport.

Reference: Vito's Room from Chapter 2, «Home Sweet Home»

► Vito most likely has PTSD, which he carefully suppresses. First of all, this is not even related to the war, but to the poor situation of the family. His obsession with "not repeating his father's mistakes" and "making money" may be one of his defensive reactions to repeated negative scenarios playing out in his head.

The arrest and the war also increased the symptoms, especially the second one.

The absence of a fatherly figure also shows his attitude towards Leo Galante, to whom he became attached. And after he found out that he was supposed to die, he didn't survive the stressful situation at all. When Vito learned that the old man would still be alive, he was not immediately happy — it was harder for him to experience negative events, even if he had gone through entire wars.

Reference: The 11th chapter of «Mafia 2»

► Scaletta probably doesn't feel safe at all. It's like you always have to be on your guard, and as soon as you relax, you'll lose everything you wanted, like what happened to the house. He also suffered this loss worse, although he knew that Joe, as his best friend, would help him with this loss. Yes, it's not so revealed in the game, but people with CTSD tend to hide their experiences because they feel guilty for certain injuries and have problems with irritability, anger management, and self-destructive behavior. The use of cigarettes and alcohol also counts. Repeated negative scenarios in his life also left their mark.

Reference: Chapter 11 of «Mafia 2»

► His attitude towards the flirting of the girls from the brothel is quite cautious. One of the options for such behavior is sexual/physical violence. The most interesting thing about this is that Joe doesn't seem to be aware of it and continues to make jokes about the trigger theme. Of course, Barbaro does not wish harm to his friend and you should not blame him for this — most likely Vito himself does not tell what is "inside" him. 

It all starts after Vito is released from prison. Eddie and Joe want to go to a brothel with him. They're talking in the car about where they're going, and when Vito heard that they were going to a brothel, his reaction was pretty passive. The interesting thing is that at first he was thinking about something else altogether—a baseball game. Although Scaletta mentions that he would like a woman, he avoids close contact in his actions. 

Let's go back to prison: the very moment when he is being bullied by one of the prisoners and his men. Presumably, this wasn't the last time someone tried to do something to him, and that he didn't always get away with it so "easily." Both sexual and physical violence is common in prisons, so unfortunately, the likelihood of a possible number of cases where Vito could have been sexually assaulted or almost raped during the 6 years he spent in prison is very high. Moreover, those men obviously treated him with mockery, harassing and violating the young man's personal space. 

Such an experience can cause lasting trauma and even cause a person to stop being interested in sex, and even worse, to be afraid of it.

Reference: The 6th and 7th chapters of «Mafia 2»

► He likes to play billiards. In between missions, he doesn't mind playing a couple of times, to some extent it relaxes him. 

Reference: One of the official artworks

► Although he hasn't gone to church for a long time and he goes because of his mother, he still seems religious. However, he treats faith more calmly — he rather accepts it as a tradition and nothing more.

Reference: Chapter 12 of «Mafia 2», Trailer «Christmas Confessions»

► He slept with a teddy bear until he was 18. Due to his high anxiety, Vito sleeps quite poorly, and if he falls asleep, then for a long time (more than 10 hours). He's had trouble sleeping since he was a child, and he's still having trouble sleeping, even though he's trying to deal with it. That's why I slept with a teddy bear in my arms to fall asleep faster. Even though he doesn't do that anymore, the reflex of hugging inanimate soft objects is still there, so he replaced the toys with a pillow.

Reference: Teddy bear in Vito's room from Chapter 2

· · ─────── ·✧· ─────── · ·

Headcanons that complement his personality

► Vito likes bitter coffee, even though he finds the taste disgusting. But it will cheer you up well after restless nights, so he often drinks in the morning. 

► If he had lived in «our time,» he would probably have been wearing headphones all the time. His playlist would be something similar to TV Girl, Frank Sinatra, Queen, The Beatles, Lana Del Rey, The Neighborhood, Elvis Presley, Adele. 

► In general, Scaletta loves music, especially from the 20th century. Relaxes, helps to distract from bad thoughts. And when driving in a car, it gives a special atmosphere at all, since it often independently selects the radio wave. He might even buy vinyl records and collect them. 

► Vito likes dogs. Since childhood, he often fed them on the streets, but could not shelter them in any way due to financial problems. Although he tried to bring a street dog to his home once, his father and mother did not particularly appreciate this act. 

► As a child, Scaletta loved stories about westerns and cowboys. He also had a love for farming and horses. Now he only rarely remembers his old hobbies, because the toy horse still reminds him of carefree, albeit difficult times. 

► Ran away from home quite often at night because of Joe. But he doesn't mind or regret it — the night time is considered the most comfortable for him. They usually stole things from stores or lingered on the roofs of houses. On rare occasions, small hikes were arranged by lighting a bonfire. They often found abandoned buildings and searched for "paranormal phenomena," although Vito did not believe all this at all, and followed Joe just for the company. 

► Very often shared different interests with Francesca. For example, they played with dolls together in early childhood, decorated various things, painted, read books and generally loved spending time together. She, in turn, helped him with his lessons, although sometimes it wasn't as successful as he would have liked. 

► He tried to learn how to play the guitar. Once, he and Joe found some pretty interesting things in a dump in the city—a guitar, a bat, and furniture stuff. While Joe swung the bat, Vito examined the acoustic guitar and plucked the strings a couple of times. Sometimes he still thought about learning how to play a couple of songs. 

► Even if he couldn't play musical instruments, Vito sings well. As a child, his mother often took him to church choirs and later learned to control his breathing. Occasionally, he hums a couple of favorite songs under his breath, perhaps even sang lullabies to Francesca so that she would not be afraid to sleep. 

► He is a friend who would joke with "dad jokes". And in general, even in terms of humor, he is quite old-fashioned.

· · ─────── ·✧· ─────── · ·

× | That's all for now. I really hope that at least someone will like my headcanons. I really want to do it with Henry, Joe. Maybe with Tommy, Paulie, Sam... So I'll see if it makes sense or not. | ×

· · ─────── ·✧· ─────── · ·

[sophiethewitch1]

Spoiler? Yes,please. 👀👀👀💕

Wasn't sure what you guys wanted, so here's like a small snippet of chapter 2. If you have want like,,, important spoilers or something just lemme know. I will happily reveal the plot of this entire stupid thing because I'm very in love with it. Girl failure reader versus the world

[sciderman]

well - webtoons is over, gang

[bogleech]

I'm actually not going to let this go until Gerry is at least as widely ridiculed as Human Pet Guy. That guy still didn't do anything half as disturbed as this fucking loser, let me pull up my favorites again:

Gerry messaging me from an alt pretending not to be an alt

Gerry claiming again that it's antisemitic of me to say the IDF are bad guys who do not represent the entire Jewish population. This is not, in fact, the same as saying they're "not jews anymore." Also bragging about supposedly baiting and sealioning me into saying whatever they believe I said wrong. I guess the stupid ass hell thing????

Calling me a "blorbo" like I'm a fictional character rather than a human. Also, I went and got the original hell comment to double check it:

.....This doesn't even say the IDF should go to hell. It says I hope people "excusing" the IDF's actions should go to hell, I just typoe'd it as "excising." I guess Gerry successfully gaslit me, since I fully believed I had said specifically "the IDF go to hell." Thanks!

Gerry accusing me of "lumping them in as pro genocide" in response to a comment in which I specifically state I do not see them that way. How else am I supposed to read them NOW, though? Because I defined that as "someone who thinks kids deserve bombs dropped on them," and Gerry's response is "how dare you say that about me......???????" What?? Not once do they ever simply say "no one deserves their town to be bombed" or anything like that. They absolutely refuse, because they do in fact believe that it's okay to bomb a whole community if some of that community might hypothetically be "hamas." They do in fact think it's acceptable that people who never hurt anyone else should die that way for some sort of greater good, or that only hamas can be blamed for those deaths by "forcing the hand" of the ones with those bombs.

Gerry admitting the IDF bombs, loots and tortures, even though most comments they call antisemitic are calling out just that very behavior. Gerry to my knowledge has never willingly blamed anything negative on the IDF since this comment and continues to attack people who do.

Gerry admitting the honest core of their beliefs and behavior. This isn't really about me, though. I mean, part of it is, I can definitely be vindictive. But I mostly ignored this asshole for the past year until the doxx comment, and now I'm getting more messages than ever from people who feel actually hurt and terrorized by this motherfucker. I've suffered ZERO fallout from their attacks, I am evidently too big I guess, but there are people who change their username to hide from this piece of shit, even fucking minors who dared to say "free palestine" once. Then there's @stoptheantisemitism, who is NOT gerry, but is impersonated by gerry's alt account @spottheantisemitism and other alt accounts, @stop-the-antisemitism and of course @stop--the--antisemitism in this very thread. Creating so many variants is a deliberate attempt to make it as hard as possible for casual rebloggers to remember which one is the real person. I mean, two alts only add dashes to the same username, and the other only moves one letter "p." I have no idea how tumblr staff can rationalize that as okay. But, again, if there's a guy who can't show his face without human pet jokes because he was just generally creepy, or everyone remembers sixpenceee's family having slaves, why can a user devote this much of their miserable life to "baiting and sealioning" people from multiple accounts and still have a usable blog left? ONE LAST THING!!!!!!!

In the notes on this very post, gerry is so bent on finding people to call out and slander they tried to find "misogyny" in a comment saying that women like studying bugs????????

Gerrysherry, the user who tells people I'm antisemitic because I think IDF soldiers are killing innocent civilians (rather than framed by some kind of Hamas conspiracy), believes my real name was a secret that I only just now accidentally revealed rather than the default way I've signed all my web content since the 1990's. Also believes that I have an employer, that "telling my parents" would affect a grown man, that my hippie mom would disagree with me anyway, and that the hatemail they got last year was all me rather than the natural and inevitable fallout of the supremely fucked up shit they say about the victims of a mass murder. Apparently would gleefully leap at any hypothetical chance at "doxxing" me though. Good to know. Literally wishes they could ruin my real actual life because I don't think Netanyahu is a hero.

[paintedcrows]

Totally Normal Trigonometry Things

[lotus-pear]

free will is drawing ur two favorite characters together and making them gay

[sunnymainecoonx]

I know damn well I misunderstood the assignment but we roll, I'll understand it some day

It's killer and dust btw. If you couldn't tell. Which you probably couldn't.. forgor to say but shhh 🤫 Killers having a convo with himself..

..I kinda wanna change my url but idk to what

[achrilock-aether]

First, balkanizing a social environment that depends on interactions to thrive is just dumb. You've already done that. You've split the website up into little weird insular islands. It is THE DUMBEST MOVE anybody at tumblr has ever made, and that includes the porn ban. This will fundamentally break the site. Eventually Wesley Crusher and that lips girl will just be sitting alone by the campfire and everyone else will be huddled in their little caves together off in the woods somewhere whispering about what the other people in the caves are doing, and everyone will get lost in the woods, and die. We will actually die.

Second, what about the 'safe space' of the person who actually made the goddamn post in the first place? What about their human rights?? It's my fuckin' content, not yours. Not the bunch of gossipy fuckups who steal it and repost it somewhere without me even knowing about it. What about the tiddy artists? The little 13yr old only fans workers? The people (like me) with really good takes who need that social clout to live?! What about US?!

You had a good idea and implemented it very, very, VERY poorly and if you don't reverse course this site will become even more depopulated and irrelevant than it already is. This is not reddit there are not enough people here to sustain this model. It is not Pillowfort and people aren't medicated enough to sustain this model. That is all, thank u.

Tuesday, February 11th, 2025

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[14dayswithyou]

tell ren to turn his location on👉👈

I saw one of the posts of how ren does get jealous of pets being loved over him and alll that so now I have the thought of the one meme of ‘ah yes, me, my partner and their [enter normal pet size] foot [pet]’

I don’t have anything else, it did pop into my head though and I thought I’d share with the class.

⌞♥⌝ ItsNotVivy on Twitter actually made that exact meme with Ren a looong time ago!!