#not to use the levels but it's clear when someone whose support needs are lower is using their experience to generalize about the community

[earthytzipi]

I mean, yes, this is an experience a lot of autistic people have (myself included, speaking solely about the tags in the reblog above) but can we stop saying that "autism in real life" is supposedly being able to analyze social cues better than allistics? or that "autism in real life" is being hyperverbal or high empathy or deeply in touch with your emotions?

listen. I'm not saying that those aren't really autistic experiences, but I am saying that your experience is not universal, especially if your masking is so highly developed that nobody ever knows until you tell them and then they don't believe you at first. it's not fair for you to erase the autistics for whom none of the above is true.

(as an aside, i also don't *love* the implication in this post that if you are confident in yourself -read: if you don't mask or if your mask is imperfect- you aren't *realistically* autistic... like. hello? some of us don't mask or don't mask well! even at my most insecure, I've gotten the comment from people who don't know me well that I'm "so confident and so willing to be different" when I literally could not be any other way. please don't try to minimize us in our own community.)

[intersexcat-tboy]

I am in a weird position and I am curious to see what other people think because I can't seem to make up my mind.

So I was diagnosed with PCOS as a teen and it was explained to me as "you have too many boy hormones" disorder, and I was forced onto hormonal birth control to "fix" the issue even though I did not want that. And a few months ago after years of seeing people say that folks with PCOS were intersex, I started identifying as intersex (which helped me understand my experiences with forced hormone treatment).

And then I decided I wanted to start low dose testosterone to help bring my body to where I've always been told is where it naturally wants to be. I tried to look at my PCOS diagnosis to figure out what T levels to aim for and discovered that apparently I had not been diagnosed with the actual diagnostic criteria. I was diagnosed due to painful/irregular periods, a hormone test that is not actually part of the diagnostic criteria, and the fact that I "looked like I had high levels of testosterone" which I find suspicious because I'm mixed race but look white, and everything they said points to high testosterone were traits that I get from the non-white part of my family.

Even though I asked for and was told my endocrinologist would take through hormone levels before I started testosterone, that wasn't the case, and now my doctor says there's no way to figure out whether or not I actually have PCOS without stopping all my hormones for a month (which I am willing to do but she uses as a reason to not go through with it). So now I'm in this position where for the past decade or so I was treated as being intersex and understood myself as being intersex (even if not in those terms), and it seems like the diagnosis that lead to that treatment was incorrect, but I have no way of actually knowing.

And now I'm like. I still have the PCOS diagnosis, am I still allowed to identify as intersex given that the diagnosis may not be accurate? If the diagnosis is not accurate and/or it would be incorrect of me to identify as intersex for whatever reason, how can I find community and support around being forced onto hormones without taking away from the struggles and needs of folks who actually are intersex? Am I allowed to stick with the narrative that exists in my brain of "testosterone is bringing my body back to what it's supposed to be/where it would have been without intervention" even though there's a solid chance that narrative is untrue, because at this point I don't actually have any way to know?

To be clear I'm not asking for you to be the final arbiter on these topics or anything like that, I'm just curious to hear what someone who's intersex thinks about this because I don't have anyone irl whose opinion I can ask about this

The PCOS label is honestly often slapped onto people as a first diagnosis, when it's supposed to be a diagnosis of exclusion. There's also an aspect that you don't need to know what caused your variations you don't need a dx to know yourself. I've spoken with others about the concept of "what if there was never anything different and they did it anyways" or how "what if a different med caused it at a young age"- I connected to the second for a while, worried for a time that maybe the variations I had were actually caused by gabapentin lowering estrogen during most of my puberty.

There's a weird line of "intersex is biological" and "sex, including intersex, are social phenomena". Many intersex activists will say how perisex (trans) people don't face forced medicalization (I agree if it's *systemically*), but we have to remember David Reimer, where a perisex man's treatment was used to create intersex guidelines. I see him as an honorary intersex man because what he faced is, bluntly, an intersex experience.

I do think it is beneficial to explore how racism ties into this! Back on the social phenomena, intersex is different according to each actual culture and race, and BIPOC face an extra level of having to fit into white standards. Even if your traits are normal from that side of your family, are they in the race as well? Did anyone else in your family face the same medicalization? I never thought I was intersex because, to me, it seemed typical as it was typical for my family, but not broadly, ykwim? Just bouncing some ideas back

Also fuck your doc, I always hear stuff like "oh get a new doc" as if it's that easy.

I think ultimately you would find a lot of community with intersex individuals. I do think going on t, in a way, would bring you back to what it would've been if not messed with, whether or not that un-intervened state is intersex

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are weird: Merging multiple species into society

( Don’t forget to come see my on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord )

Across the landing field the ground crews were in frantic motion. Landing pads that had been used as temporary supply dumps were cleared, refugees and civilians were moved up for transport off world, and for the first time in seven months the Galaxian base commander braided his face tentacles.

From his office overlooking the entire compound, Commander Zavar kept watch of the progress from the corner of his eye while his main focus was on the mirror in front of him. Carefully observing his reflection he intertwined the several dozen chest length tentacles that grew just beneath his jaw into elegant patterns.

He hadn’t bothered to for the last few months as the braiding of tentacles was meant to show a sign of respect. A Galaxian with unbraided tentacles was essentially stating that whomever they spoke with they held them in low regard. Zavar hadn’t braided them for some time as he felt no need to show signs of respect to anyone under his command.

It had been months since the landing base was established with the intent to use it as a jumping off point in new offensives. When Zavar had been given command he felt that he would be helping bring an end to this bloody conflict by maintaining such a crucial facility. Yet just as the offensive was about to begin their enemies decided to launch a massive counter offensive on an entirely different continent. In short order the manpower which had been set aside for the Galaxian offensive was pulled away to mount a rapid defense and halt this no enemy offensive.  

One by one troop ships stopped coming to his base and requested materials became increasingly diverted to other theaters of the war until finally this once crucial launching point became nothing more than a gas station for passing supply ships.

He grimaced as he made a wrong twist while braiding remembering his degrading morale and the effect it had on those under him. The drive that had once fueled Zavar was sapped away by months of repetitive supply transfers and paperwork, and this soon turned to ever laxening of base discipline among the work crews. When Zavar’s second in command came to him with information that several of the crews had taken an abandoned storage building and had turned it into an entertainment club of sorts, all he did at the time was put on his military cap and take a walk over to it for a drink himself.

That had all changed last night when in the middle of darkness moon Zavar had received an offworld communication from central command. After weeks of careful negotiation the human government they had agreed to join the war effort on the Galaxian side. A substantial force of at least four of their divisions had already arrived in system and would be sending down a battalion of 500 soldiers to further secure and expand Zavar’s base.

Within moment of the calls end Zavar had ordered all of his crews to standby and began issuing orders with renewed fire. As Zavar finished braiding his tentacles and looked out across his base he saw all of the landing pads had been cleared, and with moments to spare.

A loud rumbling could be heard and Zavar could feel the room slowly vibrating as he looked to the clouded skies.

Breaching through the murky grey clouds that had covered the sky for weeks Zavar saw a human landing craft. It was a bulky black mass of metal with a design reminiscent of an overweight bird Zavar thought as it slowly descended towards the base. He was slightly disappointed in the lacking design aesthetics of the human craft, but he had remembered that these transports were designed for carrying large amounts of troops to safe areas rather than enemy held landings. Zavar watched it for a few moments more before leaving his office and making for the landing pads.

It was a short ride from his office to landing pad three were Zavar met his second in command already waiting with a small detachment of honor guard. He exited the vehicle just as the landing craft set down sending gusts of wind out from the engines as they slowly died down.

As Zavar took his place at the head of the honor guard the loading door of the transport popped open with a loud thud and began to lower.

He had heard stories of humans before, how they were great warriors of the highest caliber, that their reflexes were heightened to such a level in the heat of battle they could see an enemy from miles away, that they could lose limbs and heal after a period of time only to forge new ones and return for more combat; truly these beings would bring a swift end to this war.

The ramp finally touched the surface of the landing pad and Zavar could finally see inside of the transport. What he saw rather surprised him however…..

At the top of the ramp stood several ranks of human soldiers dressed in combat gear, but at the head of them was a uniformed Kliptec; their serpent body draped across the decking of the craft.

Zavar cast a side long glance at his second who looked as dumb founded as Zavar was feeling before looking back at the Kliptec. Their upper body was humanoid in shape, yet they bore more hallmarks of a reptile. Scaled skin, slit like eyes, sharpened fingers, and in place of feet was a roughly six foot long tail.

As the Kliptec slithered down the ramp towards Zavar and the front ranks of humans followed Zavar was greeted by further confusion. Mixed in with the humans soldiers Zavar noted several other species not native to the human worlds.

A Draxic casually stomped forward with the ranks appearing to carry some form of heavy weapon casually over their shoulder, a Flinchestet with a communication device glided across the decking as if its limbs could not be bothered to touch the floor, a Valmorian with a red cross painted across their helmet stood alongside a Combra whose face had been ritually scared for the coming battles; but most surprising of all was the towering figure at the very back of the transport.

A hive warrior drone draped in the uniform of humanity. It held no weapon between its claws but Zavar was positive it would have no need of such a device to rip through the lot of them. Some of the honor guard made let out whimper of fear and one even went so far as to start to bring their weapon to bear.

With only a look Zavar’s second command was at the guard’s side and snatched the weapon from his hands in a single motion.

“Be. Calm.” Those two words were all he said to the guard before returning to his place next to Zavar, the weapon he had taken from the guard clutched at his side.

His men looked at their commander with silent awe as they saw Zavar look unphased at the sudden turn of events. Instead of humanity’s reinforcements they appeared to have been given a cavalcade of species that had once fought against humanity. In truth Zavar was deeply concerned about this development, but the one thing keeping him from panicking was his observations of the actual human soldiers present.

Their eyes lacked a sense of fear one would normally experience when coming upon something, or someone, so unnatural to themselves. They were alert and disciplined which was all that Zavar needed to know to reassure him that things were as they should be.

The Kliptec finally slithered in front of Zavar and gave a crisp salute which Zavar returned with a bow of comradery.

“Lt. Colonel Reginal Seth of the 17th Engineer battalion.” the Kliptec said.

“Base Commander Zavar Hatsval,” Zavar replied as he motion to his second, “and my second Xixvil Nog, of the Galaxian expeditionary force.”

“I must admit,” Zavar began as the column of forces began marching past the trio, “when I heard we were getting human reinforcements I was not expecting this.”

Reginal’s sighed and rolled his eyes as if he had heard that same statement a thousand times before.

“Our military allows anyone to enlist so long as they were born within our borders.” he stated as he turned to see his soldiers march by to the storage facilities. “It is an efficient system to use every natural resource available to your advantage, so why limit to a single species military?”

“We do not ask others to fight in our stead.” Xixvil spoke as he watched several humans walk by.

“And how has that turned out for you here?” Reginal said as his serpent mouth twisted to a half grin. “Because from where I am it looks like we’re here to fight in your stead.”

Xixvil’s mouth dropped open in shock before morphing into one of anger while Reginal continued smirking. Zavar thought he was about to see his second lash out when the hive drone he had seen before marched over to them.

It stood easily twice as high as a Galaxian and three times as high as the human soldiers around it. Its collection of eyes were constantly darting around randomly as if trying to observe everything at once while it hovered over the trio. It slowly opened its mouth to reveal rows of sharpened teeth as it surprised Zavar once again.  

“Dro…..go…..where?”

In all of his life in the Galaxian military he had never heard of a hive drone capable of speech. In the past the Galaxian’s had fought several wars with the Hive and at every encounter the drone warrior caste was found to be near mindless killing machines without a queen’s control. To hear one speak in a language he could understand, let alone in broken sentences was enough to end the careers of several Galaxian biologists.

“Report to Sgt Morris, Dro.” Reginal said as if the tower beast of flesh and chitin before him was just another average soldier.

The drone’s eyes stopped twitching for a moment as if concentrating before continuing “Morris…..yes…find…Morris….going….now…sir.” It tilted a blade like appendage which took a moment for Zavar to realize it was saluting Reginal which the Kliptec swiftly returned.

“Carry on Dro.”

With that the drone shambled off after the majority of humans who had left the landing zone leaving only a few behind to begin unloading the battalion’s equipment. Reginal turned to them and handed them a data pad. “Once our gear is unloaded we will begin expanding the landing fields by three additional pads. After that we’ll start reinforcing the outer perimeter walls and compound infrastructure.”

Zavar took the data pad and began going over the details while Xixvil continued to watch Dro walk away.

“I do not mean to be rude, but why did you call that drone “Dro”?” Xixvil asked once the drone was far enough away.

Reginal shrugged, an oddly human gesture for such an alien being, before answering “That’s his name; Dro Harris.”

“It was my understanding that hive drones lacked the capacity to develop individuality.” Xixvil continued as he watched the drone in the distance stop in front of a humanoid looking figure before following them into a storage bay.

“Normally they aren’t able to, but humans have this strange ability to impart personalities into beings should they stay around them long enough.”

Both Zavar and Xixvil looked at Reginal dumbfounded.

“Are you serious?” they asked, to which Reginal simply nodded.

“One of his parents fought in the human hive wars and took an egg back as a trophy. Turns out it hatched and they decided to raise him as their son.”

“I can’t imagine humans reacted well to a hive drone in their midst.”

To their surprised Reginal shook his head. “From what he’s told me he used to be a successful actor before he enlisted; he was popular in fast food commercials.”

“Now I know you are making things up.” Zavar cut in, unable to believe what he was hearing.

“Humans do weird things like this all the time,” Reginal said, “they act distant at first but once they warm up to you the majority of them will welcome you with open arms and treat you like kin.”

He stretched out his arms so Zavar and Xixvil could get a good look at him.

“People assume humans are barbaric isolationist xenophiles, and while it is true there are some of them out there they do not make up the entirety of humanity.”

“There are humans that will sit down with complete strangers and within an hour be closer than brothers with them, humans that will drop everything to come help you even when there is no benefit to themselves, humans that will check up on you just to see if you are alright.”

“It’s weird but at times it’s almost as if humanity has been sick of just knowing only humans and will throw themselves at anything different just so they can experience something new, something exotic and exciting.”

Reginal looked at the two Galaxians as they took in what he had to say and shook his head. He gave a quick salute and then slithered after his men as the heavy equipment began rolling off the transport leaving the Galaxians in the dust.  

[britishassistant]

Crowley kid! Yuu gets kidnapped by one of the villain dorms and Crowley is touring the the lair and just come across his kid, just chilling their designated chair snacking and roasting the villains, maybe joking around with the minions a bit and then they see each other and it’s like that Spider-Man pointing meme

Thank you for the ask, dear anon!

This kiiinda got away from me a bit, but I thought it would be good since this blog has now reached over 200 followers! Whoo! Thank you all for your support!!

Crowley was just popping by to see how Leviathan’s operation was running.

He liked to do this kind of thing, show up when the supervillains competing for his attention least expected (or appreciated) it and demand they show him how their operations were running. The reactions and sights he got to see where always so much more honest than what a prearranged visit could offer him.

Take Leviathan-kun, for instance.

The young man is uncommonly nervous in Crowley’s presence, not quite stuttering, but clearly not far off from it either. He keeps adjusting his glasses minutely, making the light flash off them even as he rattles out his salesman’s spiel of guarantees and flattery.

The thieving corvid inside Crowley preens. Today was an excellent day for a surprise inspection.

There’s clearly something going on right now that Leviathan was desperate to hide from him, which just makes Crowley want to dig deep and uncover whatever this dirty little secret is and drag that wriggling, struggling weakness into the light.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

It doesn’t take long for him to ferret it out—as desperate as Leviathan is to redirect his attention the loyal minions moving like schools of fish through the lower levels of the lair, he doesn’t have the authority to do anything but totter after Crowley as he strides towards the control room of this fine establishment, his cane clicking against the ground with every step.

Great Seven, he loves his job.

There’s the raised voices of Leviathan’s lieutenants emanating from within, along with...someone else?

Crowley pauses, taking in the scene inside.

There is a person is tied to a chair in the center of the room with one of the Leeches hanging sideways off of their lap, arms wrapped around their shoulders as he leans backwards and swings his legs back and forth. The chair is beginning to teeter dangerously.

“Floyd, if you make us fall again, I’m suing you for damages.” A familiar voice quips.

Crowley’s insides go cold.

“Aha! So mean~ I’d never let you get hurt, Shrimpy~” The reckless and violent twin coos, nuzzling close.

“You already did.” The most kidnapped reporter in this city deadpans. “Twice.”

“Bold of you to assume that you’d be able to press charges in the first place, Yuu-san.” The sadistic and coldblooded twin grins.

“Azul likes me better than you two, he’ll represent me if I sell him my kidneys.” Yuu says loftily. “Plus I have witnesses, like that guy...there...”

Well, that’s ruined his dramatic entrance, but Crowley slams open the doors anyway, making his cloak billow and letting those leeches see the angry flash of his eyes.

“A-hem!” He booms. “What exactly do you think you’re doing? Is this how you think professional villains behave?!”

The sadistic twin stands to attention, bowing shallowly to him, as though that will keep Crowley from noticing how he’s moved in front of the hostage and his violent brother, who’s curled over Yuu with his feet planted firmly on the ground and is cocky enough to think baring his teeth at Crowley is somehow a good idea.

“Floyd.” Leviathan’s voice is clipped, moving towards his henchman and the captive. “My deepest apologies on behalf of my staff, sir. I’ll instruct them to take the prisoner back down to the holding cells to continue the inter—”

“No, you will not.” Crowley commands, swirling towards the aquatic supervillain. “You will release them from your custody immediately, and as I am so gracious, I will be sure to educate all of you about how violating personal boundaries—”

“Oh, come off it, you old crow.” Yuu drawls, one eyebrow twitching. “Don’t start pretending like you care now.”

The sadistic brother makes a small, choked noise. Leviathan has gone so still it’s doubtful he’s even breathing. Even the violent twin is staring at the reporter like they’ve grown a second head.

He clears his throat to hide the small sting in his chest at the remark. “W-why I don’t know whatever you are talking about, stranger I have never met before. I will arrange for an escort to guide you home, as I am so gracious.”

The reporter scoffs. “Well, isn’t that just the story of my life. I told you last time, I don’t want any of your goons within ten blocks of my apartment, remember?”

“Yuu, while I always appreciate your sparkling wit, please stop talking.” Leviathan mutters, eyes focused on Crowley. “Are you aware of just who this person is?”

“Who he is? Of course I know who he is.” Yuu’s exasperation is evident in their voice. “He’s my bio dad.”

Crowley bristles, feeling his feathers puff up in alarm. “Hatchling!!”

Leviathan chokes, wheezing for air as he gasps out, “Bio—what—?”

The sadistic Leech brother is visibly startled, whipping his head back and forth between Crowley and Yuu, lips moving too fast to read though no sound comes out.

“Eeeh~? The big scary boss man is Shrimpy’s dad? No waay~” The violent Leech brother jabs a thumb in his direction. “Who would fuck him?”

“HOW DARE YOU—!”

“Nobody.” Yuu says. “I was born via in vitro fertilization.”

“Hatchling~!” Crowley whines, disliking how wrong-footed his child leaves him. “That is hardly kind!”

Yuu lets out an undignified snort. “Sure, because that compares to dumping me back on Uncle Divvy after a week out of the test tube with instructions to leave me under a bridge somewhere.”

Both Leech twins pin him with equally unnerving stares, and Crowley has to remind himself that he is three times the villain they’ll ever be, that they couldn’t actually hurt him even if they did both attack at once.

Leviathan is just leaning against his desk, mouthing “Uncle Divvy” to himself with the sort of frquency usually reserved for those afflicted by Divus’ hysteria gas.

“We talked about that!” Crowley pleads desperately. “It was to make sure that you could grow strong through adversity! I could hardly expect you to take up my position if you grew up soft and dependent, now could I?”

“Babies are soft and dependent, that’s the whole point. I’d have been dead within the week if Uncle Divvy hadn’t given me to Mom and Dad.” Yuu sighs, slumping back into the chair. “Whatever. I’m never taking over from you and I don’t want any of your money. Can I go home now?”

“I’ll arrange for a car as I am so gracious—” Crowley states firmly at the same time as Leviathan interjects with “Ah, let me take you—”

He shoots a poisonous glare at the young upstart, and then at the unprofessional lackey who’s still clinging to his child.

“No thanks, to both of you.” Yuu sighs. “I’ll just call Yuuken to pick me up—”

“Eeeh?! But Shrimpy, he’s so lame and boring!” The twin in Yuu’s lap whines. “I can’t even squeeze him properly!”

“Yeah, that’s not really a negative here.” The reporter quips, putting up with the way the merman whines and nuzzles into their shoulder, teeth dangerously close to their jugular.

“I don’t like him.” Crowley sniffs. “He’s too good an influence on you.”

“Well, guess whose business that is?!” His offspring asks cheerily, before dropping back into their irritated moue. “Not yours. I’ll spend time with whoever I please, you can go suck an e—”

“I’ve called you a cab, Yuu-san.” The sadistic Leech brother pipes up, pulling his phone away from his ear. “It’s already paid for, so please don’t worry about it.”

The reporter frowns again, before shaking their head with a tired sigh. “Thank you. I need to go sleep off a migraine, so untie me and I’ll see you three next week or something.”

Leviathan moves forward to tug swiftly at the ropes pinning their arms behind their back and pulling his henchmen off of them, finally. “Let me escort you out at least. It wouldn’t do to have any more unpleasant surprises before you got home.”

“Fine.” Yuu pins Crowley with that look that always makes him want to squirm. “Have a lovely day, Dire Crowley-san.”

“Likewise.” He watches his heir walk out as the violent Leech twin calls out “Bye bye, Shrimpy~!”

He turns to those two upstarts, drawing himself up to his full height. “I am certain I don’t need to impress upon you the fact that none of what went on in here leaves this room, yes?”

The sadistic one meets his eye for a moment, spreading his hands wide with an unpleasant smile. “I am unsure of what you mean, Crowley-sama.”

“Yeah, dunno~” The violent one chirps from where he’s now perched in the recently vacated chair.

“Well, suffice it to say that Divus came up with a very interesting potion to affect merfolk, some years ago.” Crowley allows himself a cruel smirk. “One that gives them legs permanently. Shame it doesn’t do the same for lungs. I will not tell him how...carelessly you boys have been treating one of his most prized experiments, as I am gracious, am I not?”

He watches the pair of them swallow reflexively with a thrill of dark satisfaction. “Yes, Crowley-sama.” They chorus.

“Wonderful!” Crowley chirps, clasping his hands together. “Now, I think it’s time for a special lesson on respecting the personal boundaries of one’s hostages, don’t you?”

[youmissedone]

If what Rain was saying was indeed true, and Carlos had no reason to believe that it wasn't, then he shared her anger, even if he hadn't been involved in the exact incident within the Hive that she'd been describing. Regardless of whatever debacle had resulted from Umbrella's negligence or lack of security inside the Hive, the incident should have been contained. If they chose to reopen it without proper security measures, and all of Raccoon City was going to be imminently lost because of that, then Carlos considered himself unemployed as of right now. He could not in good conscience work for any employer who could not only let this happen, but would choose to cover it up with civilian blood. "Incompetent assholes..." he grumbled.

At first, Carlos thought Rain was talking about the dogs, those Dobermans whose bodies were falling apart so badly that they lacked skin and fur, and some of them had bones protruding from their forms. But then she mentioned claws and brains for faces and his brow furrowed with concern. "No, nothing like that. There are dogs around, though. Raccoon's K-9 Units responded to calls around the city, but when their handlers were killed, the dogs were left to their own devices. Tore clean through their metal cages. They're all infected now, ravenous decaying messes, but by no means uncoordinated. They're fast... and deadly. Very responsive to sound and scent. They uh... got Nicholai earlier."

As Rain explained that her vision was a bit impaired, Carlos truly felt for her. She was an accomplished marksman, so to have something like her vision go to hell must be frustrating and upsetting for her. He hoped it was temporary and that it would improve over time, but... who knew. Offering sympathies was out of the question, however. She didn't need sympathy, she needed support. "Don't worry. I've got your back," he said, both to put her at ease and... for his own conscience. He was not losing any more friends today.

Was she implying that they brought her here for something other than just convalescence? What would that be? Observation? Studying the infection, maybe? Experimentation...? Carlos really didn't want to think that was what was going on here, but with everything he'd seen so far and all that Rain had told him, he supposed just about anything was possible. But whether it was to try and locate the antivirus or to see if there were any more survivors, it seemed "Alright. We hit the lower levels, then. We should search any bodies we come across. They might have keycards on them."

After a quick check of his gear, he gave a nod to Rain and they made their way to the stairwell. Given the chaos out in the city, Carlos thought the hospital was much too quiet. There was either a reason for that, or it was just a matter of time before it was overrun like every other location in the city. Either way, they had to move fast. Reaching the stairwell, he went down only one floor to where Rain said she'd come from. "Let's clear this floor first, in case anyone else was brought here with you. They might still be locked in their rooms if they are," he suggested.

Moving swiftly but silently, Carlos moved with Rain through the halls of the hospital floor, checking rooms as he went. Most were empty, used for research or storage. There wasn't much of note in there, although there were some clean scrubs and other clothes if Rain wanted a change. Upon reaching one room, however... the door was already wide open. It was door with keycard access, but a keycard hadn't opened it. Whatever had come out of the room had almost mangled the door right off its hinges. "What the hell...?" Carlos said, looking it over before peering in the room.

There was a lot of medical machinery in the room, some of which appeared to still be running. Monitors of various kinds, computers... all positioned around or hooked up to a large gurney that had nothing on it but some broken restraints. "Someone was in here." Looking back at the damage done to the door and its frame, he frowned. "Or something."

After stumbling her way through multiple corridors in the dark, seemingly abandoned hospital she had woken up in, Rain finally came across another soul. "Oliveira...? That you, man?"

@wanderingaroundwithmysoul

Things had gone so bad so quickly on this mission that even a seasoned soldier like Carlos was a little bit in shock. His platoon was given such limited information going in, and granted he'd forced the issue by jumping out of a helicopter before they'd reached their ordered drop-off location, but... Geezus, this was bad. Training for the U.B.C.S. was pretty standard military training, with a side order of here's how to handle panicked civilians affected by various biological agents. "Agents." Carlos wished he'd gotten a lot more clarification for that term, because he never in a million years expected it to be crazed, virally-infected human beings.

His experiences dealing with guerilla warfare in Brazil in his youth had conditioned him to some extent on how to deal with full-on combat breaking out in the middle of civilian streets, but... this... This was something entirely different. No matter how radicalized people became, they still had instincts, senses of self-preservation, or some kind of morals or stakes that could be appealed to to some degree to get them to stand down. These people... it was like they had rabies or something that affected their brain function. They just kept coming, regardless of the imminent danger to their lives. Regardless of being told to stay where you are or I'll shoot.

Yuri had fallen first. Bitten by one of those things, and then... well, he became as crazed as they were. It was some kind of transmittable biological agent, Carlos had determined, though he didn't know how to protect against it. It seemed to be a lot like rabies in that the sufferers would eventually become uncontrollably aggressive and seek to bite others to transmit the pathogen.

The rabies virus, Carlos knew, had mechanisms to make its host more aggressive in the final stages, when the host was dying, so that the virus would be passed on through bites and other contact with blood or saliva and not die with the host. Maybe... this was something similar? He could only speculate, because his employers were mum about the details, especially after he'd reported Yuri's demise. As soon as he began radioing back that any of his group was infected... Umbrella went radio silent on them. That was when Carlos knew he really had a serious problem on his hands.

Nikolai had been the next to die, taken down by dogs infected by whatever this was that was killing people. Apparently it wasn't limited to human hosts, but also affected dogs, cats, birds... you name it. Carlos had done his best to try and protect him but... it was too late. Now he found himself trying to track some kind of supply drop he'd seen be delivered by helicopter after his last radio. He wasn't entirely sure it was to do with his platoon, but it was something, some form of communication from Umbrella, and so he felt compelled to check it out.

He'd zeroed in on the Racoon City General Hospital, but as soon as he entered the place, he knew something was very wrong. It was empty. And silent. During a crisis? During a life-and-death biohazard situation in which people were being bitten, scratched, torn apart, and literally eaten alive... the hospital was... empty? That made no sense to him. Cautiously, he held his semi-automatic rifle at the ready as he moved methodically through the building, looking for whatever had dropped from that helicopter. He'd found nothing thus far, until he turned a corner and-

"Ocampo?" Carlos said, immediately lowering his rifle upon seeing his friend and Umbrella comrade. He was glad to see a familiar face, but even so, his brow furrowed. "They didn't tell us they were deploying Sanitation as well," he mused, before looking her over, taking a couple steps towards her. "Are you alright? What happened to you?" She really didn't look good, if he was being honest. Then again, nobody was looking great right now, given the situation here.

He tossed his rifle behind him to his right side, leaving it hanging by its strap as he took out a semi-automatic pistol. "Here," he said, offering it to her along with a couple of magazines. "The situation's gone to hell in the city. My platoon was overrun within minutes. I'm all that's left. Umbrella's not responding to my evac calls. We're gonna have to fight our way out."

[nevertheless-moving]

Suicidal Misunderstanding IX

Star Wars Time Travel AU #27

Part I - - - - - Part II - - - - - Part III - - - - - Part IV  - - - Part V - - - - - Part VI - - - - - Part VII - - - - - Part VIII

Content Warning: This chapter contains potentially triggering material, particularly aftermath of attempted suicide as well as discussions of bodily injury.

Cody woke up the morning after the...drunken keldabe still feeling uneasy. He spent half an hour attempting to read over reports in preparation for the Umbaran campaign before giving it up as a lost cause. He distracted himself for a little while by pouring over last night’s cantina surveillance, before giving up on that as well and sending a message to General Skywalker.

‘Any updates on General Kenobi’s status?’

He watched the comms as communications from everyone besides the General trickled in. He answered a few requests for requisitions, forwarded some medical reports, and ignored an irritating handful of overly-personal questions. 

Agonizing over it the whole time, he opened a comm-text link to Obi-Wan. It took nearly an hour, but he managed to send two sentences. ‘Hope you’re recovering well. Look forward to upcoming mission discussion.’

He immediately wanted to retroactively delete the message, mortified by every word and deeply concerned at every second that passed without a reply.

He spent the next 30 minutes hunched over, quickly closing every incoming CT and CC communication, justifying the time to himself as ‘technically on leave.’

He lurched forward when he finally received a General’s comm code, but slumped in disappointment when it was Skywalker, not Kenobi.

‘Not as drunk but still seems a little high. He says he wasn’t drugged. He’s taking the rest of the day off. I’m monitoring.’

Taking the rest of the day off. Did that mean he wasn’t carrying around his comm? Kriff. Should he more or less concerned that the general was actually taking a day off?

He decided to be more concerned.

‘Thank you for the update. Respectfully request information on any changes.’

Hopefully that would encourage Skywalker to keep him informed even if he stopped freaking out over his vod’s behavior.

Stowing the remote comm, he stood up and exited the temporary planet-side office, throwing himself into cleaning up the mess that was nearly 20,000 clone troopers simultaneously attempting to get the most out of a very brief R&R. 

Shortly before mid-day, he received another update from Skywalker.

‘Just managed to get him to medical. Healer cleared him of drug interactions but Obi-Wan’s still acting strange (not crying, but a lot of hugging).’

Cody stared at that for a long while.

‘Any other verbal indications of upcoming danger?’ he finally asked. Skywalker didn’t reply. 

Shortly after nightfall, his incident reports were interrupted by a call from an unknown temple number. He quickly opened it, and a holo of an unfamiliar Mon Calamari female healer appeared in miniature on the desk.

“Commander Cody. Thank you for answering so quickly. Are you somewhere private?” she asked, voice deliberately neutral.

The Commander tensed up. “Yes, sir. I’m in CC office space, alone. The room and the channel are both secure. Is this regarding General Kenobi?”

“Yes.” She replied. “My name is Master Bant Eerin; I’m a temple healer as well as a personal friend of Obi-Wan’s. He’s...he’s in the healing halls right now. We’re still trying to understand exactly what happened- I’ll tell you what I can but first we need to rule out any possible drugs he may have contact with. I need you to describe in detail anything he may have been exposed to that could have possibly had mind-altering effects.”

The Commander was a professional. He swallowed back his fear, his questions, and his demands to know what was going on.

“Of course. Everything on the Negotiator was GAR Standard, and I was with him when we left the ship. We went directly to the lower levels. The first time he was exposed to anyone outside the 212th was when we left our transport on level 3915. I...actually have footage of him the whole time night after that point. I’m sending it over right now, sir.”

“That would be extremely helpful, thank you.” He watched as she pulled it up on a second comm, sound barely audible. 

He continued with his report: “One of the boys took it without permission. He didn’t mean anything by it, he’s just an idiot; I’ve already issued a severe reprimand. In any case, he brought it to me after I issued surveillance on the cantina, it tracks everything the General did- as far as I can tell, he had a glass of house grub wine, two shots of rancor blood, and an unnamed mixed cocktail ‘on the house.’ You can see everything the bartender added- as far as I can tell nothing was slipped in. He just... blacked out suddenly after the fourth drink, and quickly startled awake, confused by his surroundings.”

“I see.” Her tone was still carefully neutral and Cody didn’t know how to read her expression. He waited, wishing he was wearing his bucket so he didn’t have to keep schooling his face into professional patience.

“You brought him back to the temple...correct?” 

“Yes, sir.”

She let out a deep breath, gills fluttering slightly. “We’ll probably have more questions later, but please understand our inquires are entirely based around determining how we can best help Obi-Wan. This call and any future ones are not intended, and should absolutely not be interpreted, as indications of blame. He’s actually spoken to me about you before, I know he has the deepest respect for you, personally and professionally. Someone will likely be assigned to talk to everyone whose spent time with him recently, including myself.”

The sick feeling in his gut from last night returned full force. “I...believe I understand sir. His condition is serious, then?”

Her gills fluttered again.

“Even now, I think we can safely anticipate a full physical recovery. He...there’s no easy way to say this...it appears he attempted to end his own life. Knight Skywalker got to him just in time, and he received bacta within minutes of the initial burn. I...like I said...we’ll began work to figure out why-”

Her voice broke and she stared up, large tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. She hastily wiped them away.

“Rest assured commander, he’s getting the best treatment possible. Thank you for your assistance. I’ll do my best to answer any questions you might have right now. This is my personal comm link- please feel free to reach out to me at any point for updates.”

“I-” Cody cleared his throat. “Can I come to the temple? To...” he trailed off, not sure how to finish.

“Not tonight, I’m sorry. The healers need to focus; he’s not allowed any visitors until he’s out of Bacta, I’m afraid.”

“Skywalker must be throwing a fit at that” Cody remarked numbly.

The healer winced. “Knight Skywalker is currently sedated. He was...injured in the struggle to keep Obi-Wan from further harm. Master Windu witnessed part of it, but we’ll have to wait until its safe to wake him to get the full story. I’ll be notifying Captain Rex of the situation after we finish speaking.”

“I’ll do it.” Cody offered immediately. “Tell me what happened.”

Eerin hesitated. 

“Please, Sir. It will be better coming from me and...if he’s the only other trooper who’s being informed at the moment...”

“Of course,” she said quietly. “We don’t know the full circumstances, but at some point in performing emergency care for Master Kenobi, Knight Skywalker was stabbed in the lower abdomen with a vibroblade. It pierced his large intestine. The blade was pulled out shortly before healers arrived, causing some further damage and blood loss. He’s already finished surgery, and should only need a few hours of Bacta at most. Considering his extraordinary past recovery rates, he’ll likely be out of bed tomorrow and fully healed by the end of the week.”

“General Kenobi wouldn’t...” Cody trailed off again. He was having a hard time putting coherent sentences together.

Bant looked at the ceiling for a moment, seeming to collect her thoughts.

“Psychosis can have many manifestations. Even with- with conventional injuries, people can mistake help for harm. There’s just too much we don’t understand, and only so much we can learn before they wake up. Are you certain you wish to be the one to inform Captain Rex?”

“Yes.” That was about the only thing the Commander was certain of right now. “Is there anyone else in the GAR I should inform of...anything?”

“The military aspect of this isn’t my area of expertise. If there’s someone you trust who can be a support for you, I don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to tell them in confidence. Some form of what happened is going to get out eventually.” she replied. “Please use your discretion, I suppose. It’s...not really my speciality but I imagine you’ll receive further orders on how much to release to the GAR once Obi-Wan’s stable.”

Right. Discretion. Because Obi-Wan wasn’t just Obi-Wan- he was a high general in charge of nearly 1/3 of the republic’s forces. If word of this got out to the wrong ears it would cause mass panic, maybe even an emboldened separatist advance. It was an insane amount of responsibility for one person, no wonder - he deliberately didn’t finish the thought.

“I’ll comm the Captain immediately. Thank you for the information, General.” he said out loud.

“Feel free to contact me for further updates, and tell Captain Rex he’s welcome to do the same. I’ll message you when its clear to visit the halls.”

“Yes, Sir.” Cody responded, saluting automatically. 

“Take care of yourself, Commander Cody”

The hologram blinked out. Cody sat motionless for several long moment before sweeping his desk off, sending the assorted flimsies and redundant comm-units of various designations to the ground.

He stared at the empty desk, then tapped a button on his wrist comm, opening a private audio channel. “CT-7567, please come in” he said calmly.

“Cody?” came the alarmed reply. “I’m here, what’s going on?” Why did he sound so panicked? He had deliberately used his calmest voice. Oh well.

“Please report immediately to CC Office 12 in Guard Headquarters”

“I’ll be there in 10″

Cody hung up. He stared at the blank wall. He knew something was wrong with how the General said goodbye.

He opened the single desk drawer and dumped the odd wires and coins inside to the floor. Eerin had said burn. That could mean a lot of things, but lightsaber was the most likely. 

Cody puked profusely into the empty drawer. He stared at the vomit for a moment before carefully closing the drawer. He still felt a little sick. He hadn’t even said anything back to the General, he just stood there, frozen. 

He stared vaguely at the wall across, wondering if he was going to puke again.

Rex burst into the room. “Cody! What’s going on?! You- kark, what is that smell?”

“I puked in the desk drawer” Cody explained.

Rex shut the door behind him and slowly walked over. He knelt down next to the desk, gently taking Cody’s hands in this own. “Cody. Vod. Talk to to me.” 

“Obi-Wan tried to kill himself.”

Rex’s hands tightened over Cody’s compulsively and Cody squeezed back harder. He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at Rex’s expression.

“Some of ghost company went out for drinks last night. Obi-Wan started acted oddly. We flew towards the temple. He started crying. We got to the temple. He Keldabe kissed me. He told me goodbye. I didn’t say anything back.”

“Oh, vod” Rex whispered. He gently pulled the slack Cody off the chair and onto his lap on the floor. Cody continued mechanically. “I did reports today. Skywalker said he was with him. I left Obi-Wan a message. I don’t think he saw it. He tried to kill himself. Skywalker must have left him alone. He saved him. Obi-Wan stabbed Skywalker.”

Rex froze, still holding on to Cody. 

“The healer called. Asked about drugs. They don’t think its drugs but they had to ask. She said they’re both going to heal completely fine. I have a link if you want to call the healer directly. That’s...it. I have reports to do now.”

Rex held Cody tighter. “Not right now”

“It’s war. People get hurt. People die. I have work to do”

“Not right now,” Rex repeated. “You have the right to be upset. You have the right to grieve. You’re a person, of course you have feelings.”

“Obi-Wan said that.” Cody whispered. Then he started crying. He continued to quietly sob for some time, hurt and bewildered and scared. They sat on the floor together; Rex barely moved, simply held on to his older brother as he fell apart.

Inevitably, Cody’s tears dried up and he pulled away. 

“I don’t know how to clean this,” he said gesturing at that closed drawer. 

“I’ll take care of it. Let’s just get you to bed. There’s CC bunks here, right? 

“Yes but...”

Cody didn’t really like sleeping so isolated, but he also couldn’t imagine facing the 212th right now. 

“I’ll stay here with you. We’ll go to the temple together in the morning.”

Rex shepherded Cody to the fresher. He stared at the mirror with a vague sense of recognition before automatically moving through a standard sanitation routine. By the time he finished, Rex had joined him in his room.

“What did you do with the vomit?” Cody asked, suddenly exhausted. They slipped into bed together.

“Swapped the whole desk with Pond’s. That bastard knows what he did.”

Cody let out a snort. Then, much to his surprise, he sank heavily into a deep, dreamless sleep.

Part X

[a-dragons-journal]

Hi! I was scrolling through the otherkin tag (as one does) and saw on an ask you answered that you hated DNIs and didn’t want to go into it on that ask. So I’m curious now- why do you hate DNIs? I don’t have a DNI, and I’m not out to try and change your mind. I’ve just never seen anyone say outright that they didn’t like DNIs, so I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Thanks!

I ended up indeed going into it later, because people kept sending in asks about it, so this tag exists now, but in summary:

- I don't necessarily hate the existence of DNIs, because they can be a useful tool in certain circumstances, but I hate that they're starting to become an expectation/requirement and that it's now considered "creepy/suspicious" in a growing number of communities to not have one. It should not be an obligation to basically list your political stances, discourse opinions, and triggers - you know, things you can be attacked for/people can use to hurt you - in any circumstance, least of all on the Internet where anyone can see it.

- For that matter, putting a list of things that can hurt you in public where anyone can see it and know exactly how to target you if they want to hurt/harass you is a bad idea, whether it's a social requirement or not. Full stop. Unless you are in a relatively small group where you know the intentions of the people there (and often not even then!), it is not a good idea to tell people how to effectively hurt you on the Internet.

- I hate it when people put "[x bigoted group] DNI" at the bottom of actual discussion-type content posts (as opposed to, like, aesthetics and stuff), such as people putting "TERFs DNI" at the bottom of posts about feminism, because a) if you're worried about your post appealing to that group, maybe you should reexamine your post's content, b) I've seen firsthand more than once that those groups, TERFs especially, will purposely put "[x] DNI" at the bottom of their crypto-rhetoric posts in order to turn people's critical thinking skills off and make them more likely to accept the crypto rhetoric (foot-in-the-door tactic), and c) even if it's not intentionally malicious like the last point, it still makes it so the OP's post is suddenly immune to criticism, because "hey this comes off a little transphobic" can be met with "how dare you call me a transphobe?? I said 'TERFs DNI' right there!!1!", which, again, has to do with the whole "turning people's critical thinking skills off" problem.

- On a similar note, I hate this recent trend toward performative activism and "racists/transphobes/homophobes/etc. DNI!1!" feels like another permutation of that; I don’t like people demanding/expecting me to announce all my political opinions right out the gate. It should be my decision whether or not I want to share sensitive information about myself (and if you’re scoffing at the idea of a political opinion being “sensitive information” - if it can get you, again, harassed and attacked by a complete stranger, it’s sensitive information).

- People seem to forget that people can, will, and do lie on their DNIs and bios. Predators will lie about being "under 18” in order to make minors they’re interacting with feel safe and let their guard down. TERFs will lie about “transphobes DNI!” to ensure their crypto rhetoric spreads and gets a foot in the door of trans-supporting people’s thought processes. All “it’s to let the people affected by [bigotry] know I’m safe,” which is something I hear sometimes, really means is that the bigot in question only has to put up a DNI to make the people they’re planning to target lower their guard. There is nothing guaranteeing that someone actually believes what their DNI implies they believe. It’s an illusion of safety that just doesn’t - and, really, can’t - exist on the internet, by the internet’s nature. And people thinking they’re safer than they really are is what gets people hurt because they stopped being careful. I’m not saying people need to (or should) live in fear, but relying on DNIs is not a sustainable solution, imho.

- I hate people using DNIs/BYFs as an alternative to blocklists because it often becomes essentially them forcing other people to curate their internet experience for them, and then getting mad (or hurt) when that doesn't work out for reasons that should be obvious. Especially when you take it to the extreme of trying to regulate anyone who reblogs your posts, which I have seen sometimes - you can't seriously expect people to check the OP of every single person whose post they reblog to make sure they agree with your opinions on fandom discourse; that's untenable and it can only lead to people getting hurt. You are the only person who is - and the only person who can be - responsible for your internet experience. Curate your own space.

- as a minor point, "standard DNI criteria" is becoming a popular phrase and it's frankly a useless phrase because there's no such thing. Beyond "racists/homophobes/transphobes" there's literally no telling what a given person includes in what's "standard" - pro- or anti-ship? SFW agereg/petreg blogs? DDLG? Steven Universe fans? inclusionists or exclusionists? There is no "standard." (But then, I feel like how common that phrase is becoming says something about exactly how performative and empty the trend of DNIs is as a whole at this point in time.)

- also as a minor point, I am frankly just not a fan of how often DNIs put things like "Steven Universe fan" and "neonazi" right next to each other like they're the same level of bad. I recognize consciously that this is not the intention, but it sure does come off that way sometimes. It reminds me a bit too much of those callout posts that have six pages about the person's bad opinions on anime or whatever and only then go "oh yeah and also they sexually abused, threatened, and sent their friends to harass a minor and we have screenshot evidence of all of that. anyway here's three more pages about why their art is bad because they drew a 16-year-old in a crop top one time".

And, let me be very clear here: I do not hate people who have DNIs, nor do I want to act like they're never useful. They are, sometimes! But I do feel they're being misused and they're starting to become an expectation and that's a huge problem, for the same reason that people trying to force everyone to put their age/basic personal information in their bios is a problem - it's a safety concern. I am honestly convinced that at this point, in most circumstances, DNIs are doing more harm than good.

If you want to use a DNI, that's up to you, and it's not like I'm gonna harass people about it ('s why I started that "dni critical" tag, so people could who don't want to read this stuff could avoid it) - but I want people to at least understand the risks they're taking depending on how they go about it. If it's useful to you, then good, I'm genuinely glad! It just concerns me how it's being treated by the larger Internet right now.

(And, of course, that's all just my personal subjective opinion - take what you like, leave what you don't. You're more than welcome to disagree with me; this is not a make-or-break argument for me, just one I have strong feelings about xD)

[shinobicyrus]

Meeting for the First Time Again

A short little DS9 fic inspired by @c-rowlesdraws more alien redesign of Dax. Here’s a re-imagining Sisko’s reunion with his old friend.

Besides bearing DS9’s new Science and Medical officers, the USS Bhaskara was offloading much-needed support personnel and medical supplies for both the station and Bajor. With the Enterprise being called away earlier than anticipated, the Bhaskara would likely be the last Federation ship any of them would see for weeks.

Major Kira had accompanied Sisko aboard, and had stood straight-backed and on edge during the formalities between him and the Bhaskara’s captain. Charitably, Sisko figured it might not have been comfortable for her to be stuck in the unfamiliar close quarters of a Federation starship, or it maybe being surrounding by over a hundred sapients of a dozen different species all in their matching, pristine uniforms.

He still hadn’t come to a final verdict with her, yet. Certainly she had no love for the Federation. Hadn’t been at all shy to disclose that fact either, which he couldn’t help but privately admire. It was the kind of refreshingly straightforward attitude that Sisko didn’t encounter as often as he liked, anymore.

At least he knew where they stood. There may never be any friendliness there, but there could at least be a mutual respect, if they didn’t give each other brain damage butting heads all day.

Well. That was what their new doctor was for.

He was human and very young. His blue uniform was freshly replicated, and a medical bag hung off of his shoulder as if he expected to start performing first aid the moment he stepped off the ship. Sisko had read his file. Doctor Julian Subatoi Bashir had the highest qualifications of any medical practitioner he’d ever seen, and the academic accolades to have his pick of duty assignments.

Instead of research or a ship’s physician, he chooses a barely-functional Cardassian monstrosity on the furthest fringes of Federation space.

No one makes that choice unless they have something to prove. That never boded well. Sisko could only hope the few weeks tending to a people trying to recover from decades of slavery and genocide will give the good doctor a good dose of sobering reality.

Thankfully, Captain T’Shel was vulcan and took zero offense when Sisko politely declined their offer of a light tea in their stateroom. With the amount of work still needed to get DS9 up and running, it was only Logical he take his officers and return to work as soon as possible.

Their disembarkation went without incident, though Sisko half-expected the airlock to jam again. Next to him, Doctor Bashir took in the grim Cardassian architecture of the promenade with that eagerness unique to academy graduates on their first assignment; his eyes sparkled with adventure and Sisko marveled that he himself had ever been that young. 

DS9’s Science officer was more sedate, flowing over the tall rim of the airlock on many legs with a smooth, liquid grace. Two pairs of stubby but strong limbs pushed her long body upright and brought her flat, vaguely amphibian head at about his chest-level, passably mimicking a biped.

“Commander.” Major Kira looked uncertainly at her charges. “If you’d like me to give these two a tour of the station – ”

“You and Doctor Bashir go ahead, Major.” He turned to the trill and saw her already looking at him. The face of a stranger. Still, he smiled at her. “I’m afraid I have to put Lieutenant Dax to work right away.”

Dax nodded, unperturbed at being put to work so soon after a long starship journey. Not even time to throw her pack into her new quarters.

Major Kira for one just seemed relieved. The sidelong glance she gave Dax made it clear how unused she was to dealing with non-humanoids. Sisko couldn’t bring himself to judge – all of her interactions with off-worlders before now had involved Cardassians.

Before she could herd him away, Doctor Bashir half-ran past Kira to Dax’s side, stopping them from leaving. Sisko was too surprised – and too curious of Dax’s reaction – to chide him.

This time.

“Jadzia!” He adjusted the strap of his bag, completely heedless of the disgruntled glare Major Kira had leveled at him like a charging phaser. “I was thinking. Maybe we could…” He cocked his head, boyish smile shy but still precocious. “Get together later. For dinner?”

Dax did not answer immediately, as if he...she were weighing the question. As one second, then another ticked by without a response, Sisko watched the fear creep into Bashir’s eyes as it slowly dawned on him that he was holding up his commanding officer. Sisko said nothing to add or alleviate his anxiety, and Bashir stammered, looking to him and then back to Dax. “O-o-or a drink?”

Dax blinked slowly. Her mouth curled into a shape a human would find friendly. Her voice was thick, melodious and warm like rain on a muggy day. “I’d be delighted.”

Three words was evidently all it took to leave Doctor Bashir a dumb, grinning blob of hormones stuck in place in front of the airlock. Dax and Sisko left him to be pried off the deck by the Major.

They walked side-by-side down through the promenade. Sisko kept his strides small so the four shorter limbs on Dax’s lower body could keep up without much difficulty.

While trills could stand upright just fine, walking without all eight limbs was another matter; like expecting a human to hop around on one foot all day. Any Federation-raised citizen wouldn’t think twice about trill walking past low to the ground, but Curzon had stubbornly mastered the art.  

‘Gotta look them in the eye, Benjamin. Think I could have gotten anything done at Khitomer crawling around the Klingons’ pointy boots?’

Watching her walk was what did it. The dignified posture, head bobbing and both pairs of upper-arms clasped behind her back. It was all Curzon, but eerily incongruous. Like looking into the mirror and seeing the wrong color uniform.

Sisko leaned down to ask, “He’s a little young for you, isn’t he?”

“Trills mature a little faster than humans, but we’re close in Standard,” Dax said. “He’s twenty-seven and I’m –”

“Three-hundred twenty-seven?”

“You know I stopped counting, Benjamin.”

“How convenient for you.”

Dax chortled a bubbly trill laugh. “What was that human expression you told me once? About youth and old age?”

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

“A pitfall I’m glad to have avoided,” Dax grinned.

“You’re dodging the question.”

She stroked her whiskers like Curzon used to do when he was pretending to be a forgetful old man. When...she was pretending. “And what question would that be?”

“Whether the man knows he’s chasing after someone who’s technically older than his great-grandparents.

“Of course he knows,” Dax’s upper body stood a tad straighter. “He finds it fascinating. He’s never met a joined species before.”

“‘Fascinated’ isn’t the word I’d have chosen to describe it.”

“It’s the spots. And the arms,” She raised two of them to fend off his raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry Benjamin, I’ve been around humans long enough to be able to spot a harmless crush. He’ll sigh and pine at the ‘unattainable older woman’ shield he put around me until he gets over it.”

“I’ll trust your expertise on the matter,” Sisko said wryly. “While we’re on the subject, what’s your opinion of him?”

“My opinion?”

“You've trained your share of clueless ensigns and terrorized enough trill initiates...”

“That’s true,” Dax agreed. “I happen to remember one young cadet who swore he’d be captain of a starship by thirty.”

“And an admiral by forty.”

“How is that going for you?”

“Further along than Cal. And you’re changing the subject.”

Those whiskers, again. “The subject being?”

“Come on now, Dax. You two were stuck on the Bhaskara for three weeks. That’s more than long enough for you to get a good read on him.”

“Is this an official request from my superior officer?”

Superior officer. Curzon. That…was going to take some getting used to. “If it has to be, but I’d rather be talking with an old friend whose opinion I trust.”

Dax looked pensively at patterns on the deck plating as they walked. “He’s...young. Eager. Brilliant and knows it, but even the arrogance feels like an affectation. Almost obligatory. At least, it’s flimsy enough that I doubt it will last long outside of a competitive Academy environment.”

“He specifically asked to be here.”

Dax’s hum was like rippling water. “He told me that as well.”

“That sounds like a man with something to prove.” Sisko didn’t hide the disapproval in his voice. From another officer under his command, maybe. Not from Dax.

“Yes, but it’s to himself first and foremost. I’m not a counselor Benjamin, so I couldn’t tell you why, but  I’m confident his rough edges will be smoothed over with little bit of time, wisdom, and real-world experience. And,” she added with a thin smile. “The guiding hand of a wise mentor.”

“I hope I can live up to your example.”

“Oh, I meant me. You’ll do too, I suppose,” Dax winked. “I taught you everything you know.”

For the first time since he boarded that godforsaken Cardassian station, Ben Sisko laughed. “Not everything, Old Man.”

[underfell-crystal]

Sea Thieves: Old Scars

TW: Past trauma, panic attacks, scars.

Alkai belongs to @mochamashi and Harp belongs to me! Written for @kiokodoodles / @okay-kioko 's mermaid/pirate AU

(first thing I write for this AU is angst/hurt/comfort. Dunno if that's good or bad.)

"Okay. This is gonna be great! We're gonna have so much treasure after this."

Harp swam alongside the beta fish mermaid, rolling her eyes. "Everything's about treasure for you."

"Says the selkie who has almost gotten killed cuz of her stomach."

Harp stuck her tongue out at Alkai, pouting. "I was HUNGRY, okay?"

"Yeah, I know. You're ALWAYS hungry. That's the only reason why you decided to team up with me in the first place."

"Nuh uh. I also thought you were cool and wanted to be your friend."

Alkai turned their gaze to her and gave Harp a sharp toothed grin. "Awww, shucks. You're too nice."

Harp grinned, lacing her fingers behind her head and swimming backwards. "Aren't I?"

"Now you're starting to push it."

"No take-backs!"

.

.

.

After a bit of swimming, the hull of a fairly large ship came into view. Alkai grabbed onto one of the planks and glanced at Harp. "Okay. Plan is you sneak up and grab some food and treasure. Once the coast is clear I'll come up and grab some more treasure. If you get caught, I'll rescue you, and then we'll escape."

Harp nodded firmly, gripping the strap of her satchel. "Got it."

She swam towards the surface, grabbing onto one of the nets hanging just above water level. As she pulled herself up, she focused her mind on her lower seal half and changed her tail into a pair of human legs, her seal skin appearing around her shoulders. She climbed the rest of the way up, peeking over the edge of the ship to make sure nobody was in sight before clambering over the railing and pulling her bunched up brown dress out of her satchel. She removed her coat for a moment, a feeling of queasiness washing over her as the coat left her body. She quickly put on the dress and put on her seal coat over it, breathing a soft sigh of relief as the feeling of sickness vanished.

She hurried to the back of the ship, tiptoeing so she didn't alert any of the crew members that might be around. She carefully opened a heavy wooden door, and her eyes widened in delight at the sight of all the food. Her eyes immediately went to the crates of vegetables, dried meat, and biscuits, and she quickly snatched up several servings. Food acquired, she snuck out of the storage room. Now to find the gold.

.

.

.

Of course the treasure would be in the captain's room. He was either very paranoid or very arrogant to have his gold in his sleeping quarters. And seeing as he'd fallen asleep counting his money, it was likely the second option. Harp crept forward, slowly opening her satchel and taking small handfuls of coins and placing them in her bag as quietly as she could. She really didn't want to wake the captain up as he slept less than three feet away. As she was distracted by her thoughts about food, her hand moved too far forward into the pile of gold and sent the coins clattering loudly to the ground. The captain jolted upright and locked eyes with Harp.

Shit.

Harp turned on her heel and ran, bursting through the door of the cabin as the captain shouted for her to stop. Several other crew members emerged from below deck and quickly zeroed in on her. She stumbled over a coil of rope, one of her hands instinctively grasping at the bag at her side as she barely avoided faceplanting the wooden planks of the ship.

The other crew members were on all sides of her. The captain appeared behind her, eyes ablaze with rage. He looked furious, and Harp wasn't about to stick around to find out what he did to thieves. She turned and hooked one leg over the railing, her gaze dropping to the water.

She froze.

There were several large shapes beneath the water. Mostly black with white markings. Sharp, SHARP teeth. Beady black eyes stared at her.

Orcas.

Harp couldn't breathe. She was trapped. She couldn't go back in the water. She was way too slow for them- even if Alkai got to her in time to help, it would be two versus five at the bare minimum. She- she-

A hand gripped her arm and yanked her away from the railing. She flailed her arms desperately, shrieking in panic, trying to get away. Her arms were pinned to her sides, and the captain's scowling face came into view. "You.... How the Hell did you get on this ship?"

Harp forced herself to take deep breaths. Breathe.... In and out.... She met the captain's gaze hesitantly. "I.... I stowed away..."

The captain crossed his arms. "Liar."

Harp felt a shiver run down her spine as the captain stepped closer, his dark eyes cold, calculating, and knowing. "I.... I do-"

"My crew and I double checked every room, every crate, and every barrel. We checked the masts and the hull of the ship. There is no way you could've snuck on here."

The captain tilted his head, his gaze landing on her neck, where some of her spots were visible.

Oh... Oh no....

Harp swallowed. "I.... I..."

Before she could come up with a believable lie, she felt her coat being ripped off her shoulders, and she was immediately hit with a wave of nausea that made her vision spin. The crew member holding her handed her coat to the captain, much to Harp's horror. The captain examined the spotted pelt before looking up with a slight smirk. "No way you could've snuck on here... Unless you came from the ocean."

Harp could barely register his words. Her head hurt, her eyes weren't working properly, she couldn't BREATHE-

Something big and heavy swung from to the side and sent the captain flying. A familiar figure appeared from the other side of the ship, and Harp felt a wave of relief wash over her. Alkai was here.

The crew member released her and drew their saber, letting her fall to the deck. Harp tried to stand, but it felt like she'd drunk too much rum. Her legs were shaky and barely supported her weight, and her spinning head wasn't helping matters. She collapsed to the ground, her vision going white for a brief moment. Through her pounding head, she could hear the sounds of swords clashing against each other. She tried to stand up again, but her legs felt like mush. She heard the sounds of rapid footsteps approaching, and someone grabbed her under the arms and hauled her to her feet, carrying her toward the railing.

Alkai's voice floated through the fog in her mind. "Change back!"

She felt something soft be shoved into her arms, and she clung desperately to it as Alkai dragged her overboard. She barely remembered to hold her breath before they hit the water, the sudden cold almost making her black out. Change back.... Change back.... She gripped her pelt and wrapped it around her shoulders, the fog in her mind slowly beginning to dissipate. She felt her legs reforming into a tail, and as she looked around, her vision slowly started to get clearer. The boat was pretty far away, but she could still see things moving in the distance.

Don't think about them. She felt hands on her shoulders and turned her gaze to Alkai, whose brow was furrowed in concern. "Harp, stars, are you alright?!"

"Y... Yeah.... I.... I thought I was finished..."

Alkai exhaled slowly. "You froze. Why?"

Harp tilted her head in confusion. "... You didn't see them?"

"What? The orcas?"

"Yes!"

Alkai frowned for a moment before a look of understanding passed over their face. "Were you scared?"

Harp looked down. "..... Yeah...."

Alkai noticed her expression. "Hey, it's fine to be scared. But we need to get further away."

Harp nodded in relieved agreement.

.

.

.

"So.... Why are you scared of orcas?"

Harp and Alkai were sitting together in front of a small fire, drying their clothes and cooking some fish they'd caught. Harp stared at the fire, silently debating whether or not to tell them the whole truth. Alkai waited patiently beside her. "You don't have to talk about it if you really don't want to."

Harp shook her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "It's fine... Just.... Trying to decide where to start."

Alkai nodded. Harp took a deep breath. "I ran into an orca mermaid when I was younger. Orcas in general are already freakishly smart, but having one be half human is a recipe for a swimming murderhouse."

Alkai stared at her with large eyes. Harp gripped her arms. "I went out too far... I was trying to catch some fish for us- um, me and my family- to eat, but I wasn't paying attention.... And.... Then he appeared. I tried to get away, but.... Orcas are faster than seals and....."

Harp took a shaky breath, feeling Alkai gently rest their hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Harp, you don't need to tell me everything."

Harp shook her head. "I want to tell you everything. I'm fine, I just.... need a minute."

After a few seconds of silence, she continued. "I escaped alive, obviously, but... Not unharmed. He gave me some nasty cuts on my back and tail."

"Really? How come I haven't seen them?"

Harp pulled down the back of her dress, turning her back to Alkai so they could see the upper area of her back. "Feel along my spine."

Alkai obeyed, and felt a slight groove next to her spine. A scar. "They're old, so... They're pretty hard to see unless you're looking for them..."

Alkai traced the pattern of almost invisible, jagged scars down her back. "Harp... Thanks for telling me..."

Harp nodded, letting go of her dress and turning to face them, eyes focusing on a very interesting twig next to her feet. "Yeah.... um.... That's why I'm scared of orcas..."

"Harp."

Harp looked up, confused. "Huh?"

Alkai's eyes were serious. "I won't let anything hurt you, especially any orcas. I promise."

Harp blinked her large eyes and smiled softly. "Thank you... You're a good friend, Alkai."

The two fell asleep looking at the stars, feeling just a bit closer than they were before.

~Aaaaah I finally finished this!~

[whitetrashjj]

most people that don’t like kie don’t like her because she

1. gets mad at JJ when he calls her out for being rich

2. prioritizes john b constantly because whatever feelings she has towards him gave her tunnel vision

3. tried to guilt-trip pope into missing his scholarship interview despite the fact that, like he said, she wasn’t there for any of them when big john went missing

4. talks about the gold, pope’s scholarship, and things that happen to the boys because of them living in the cut as if it’s okay to just toss them aside when it’s only okay to do that for her- seeing as she doesn’t need the money, and she doesn’t need a scholarship. the only thing that makes her a pogue is that she decided to hang out with them, which is fine but she can’t act like she goes through what people on the cut do seeing as she doesn’t actually live there or go to their school. these things are only expendable for her.

5. she tried to fight pope on the boat because he rightfully called her out on her “moral high ground bullshit”

6. she gives off performative activist. she’ll talk about saving the turtles but when jj is clearly hysterical or something with his buying a hot tub using his share, she says he could have “literally given it to any charity” as if he isn’t quite literally the charity… even without seeing the bruises it’s clear that jj is in an unstable environment with someone who doesn’t care about him and can’t support him financially.

7.she doesn’t sympathize with jj until after the jj/pope/kie hot tub group hug when she sees his bruises. she just ignores whatever he says when he mentions her financial privilege and insults him in a non-friendly way. (he insults her too obviously, but since the show never goes in depth to discuss kie’s struggles as a biracial girl or pope’s struggles as a black boy, it’s not something that jj can randomly sympathize with, seeing as it’s never brought to light. if it was brought up and jj were to react like she’s being annoying for pointing it out or pointing it out to spite him, i would have major problems with jj because acknowledging whatever privilege you have is important, especially when you’re with people that don’t have that privilege/when you’re someone whose character is supposed to be the activist type. and i’m not equating racial privilege to financial privilege, i’m just mentioning it because classism is pretty much the basis of the entire show and its plot.)

anyway… this is the reason i’ve seen most jjpopes dislike kie. mentioning the “kiara sucks” anon as if that is a blanket statement of all jjpopes is strange. we aren’t some raging misogynists out to get her, but you saying that pope is a very flawed character with no examples to back it up but also getting irritated when someone says kiara sucks with no examples to back it up is ridiculous. these are examples. since this is in response to your response to that ask, i’ll also add that while your experiences as a queer person are valid, they aren’t universal (“Any queer person knows that you can’t be as forthcoming and open about our affections as straight people are.”)

i get where you’re coming from with saying a regular character might not be outward about his feelings, but jj is not a regular character. jj is a nothing-to-lose kind of character, so your reasoning for why those many displays of affection throughout the show weren’t intended to be romantic just doesn’t really add up? of course he values pope’s friendship and wouldn’t want to risk it, but it’s also evident that he’s a very good liar and could easily say he was joking or wasn’t trying to seem like any of his actions were romantic, something you can also probably understand/have experienced as a queer person. your very statement that jj is someone who flirts with anyone is counterproductive to the statement that that means he doesn’t have feelings for pope. he flirts with every girl, but he can only form a lasting bond while also doing things you’d normally do with a crush, with pope. a lot of jjpopes including myself think he’s gay, and comphet/trying to prove to yourself that you’re straight by engaging in meaningless hookups (like jj) is reason for that headcanon. i get what you’re saying for other characters, but there’s no indication of jj not having that same nothing-to-lose attitude when it comes to people he has romantic feelings for, so there would be no reason for the pull-back or hesitation that you mentioned. and since he knows pope and his connection (whether it be platonic or romantic to both of them) is so strong, he probably assumes nothing could break that bond/dynamic either way.

also no one called you anti-black or implied that you were for saying pope is a flawed character, but it would be surprising to see one that isn’t rooted in that because all of them in the past have been- this fandom is wildly colorist and homophobic (another reason representation like jjpope is so important) and it’s extremely hard to find someone that doesn’t like pope without an explanation for their dislike that isn’t rooted in racism. that’s just common sense, though.

You know, I've been looking at this ask for a long time just wondering if it's worth my time to address all of this - like I didn't realise one could send asks this big. But I'm bored and got a beer in me so fuck it let's go.

So first let's talk about the reasons you hate Kie. I'm gonna admit that I to think she is flawed, like every other obx character, she is also a victim to bad writing and under developed. But also I just do not understand how people can hate her or insists that she is a bad person, don't get me wrong sometimes you just don't vibe with a character and there is nothing wrong with that but hating them and tearing them down is a very different thing.

Now I've said this before but let me reiterate. Not liking a character or ship or preferring one over the other does not automatically make you racist, misogynistic or homophobic. But I do think it is important to take a step back and assess our motivation and perhaps internalised biases. Sometimes you will find that you reasoning is without much substance and realise that you have some things to work on, sometimes even though mentally you don't have the conscious block there is something internalised about that - I know I have been subject to that. This doesn't make you a bad person, and you don't have to force yourself to like it or anything, but just be aware and sometimes it's okay to just remove yourself for the conversation because the people who do like it aren't supporting something that is morally corrupt and it doesn't have to be the subject of discourse. People can like different stuff.

So:

1. Did you mean pulls faces when JJ calls her rich? Cause that's what she does, gets a little annoyed, pulls a face but doesn't say anything because she know he's got a point. I'm very confused about you definition of angry and perhaps be careful about perpetuating the 'angry black woman' stereotype.

Also, I think it's important to note that clearly the kooks vs pogues divide has pretty much abolished the middle class, and you are either lower class or 'rich'. The Carrera's very clearly still struggle with money and are not on the same level of kooks as the Cameron's. So yeah, I think she's justified to roll her eyes at JJ saying she's rich as fuck and doesn't need money.

2. Prioritizes John B because his dad's gone missing, he's been abandoned by his guardian, is being threatened with being taken away from his home and everything he knows and is in general spiralling? Yeah. What a fucking monster. Also, I find it hard to find a justification for Kie having canon romantic feelings from John B that isn't just born from heteronormativity - her caring about him and then getting kissed by him does not equal a love match.

3. It wasn't about missing the interview - which wasn't until the next fucking day - it was about not giving up looking for their friend who was in a really bad way. Like - you cannot say that getting a scholarship when you are 16 is more important that John B's actual life being at stake ?

The fact that she wasn't there when John B went missing wasn't relevant? Like I've talked about why I hate Pope in this scene. But like, Pope is saying 'um you can't call me out on being a bad friend now cause you were a bad friend then'. That's the point, Kie caring so much about John B is rooted in guilt cause she wasn't there, and now she's trying to be there and support him, to prove that she's a better friend now. That's she's different, because she is.

4. I would love some specific examples of her brushing this stuff off like it means nothing. Other than the boat scene which once again, justified. And once again, Kie isn't destitute at all and no she doesn't fully understand the struggles of the boys or the cut but her family is not rolling in it and spending weekends on Yachts. Like this point is such a bloody reach.

5. I don't love that she got physical with him either. But she didn't do that because she got called out. She got upset because Pope was the one person she confided in about that happened during her kook year, about how bad it was, about the fact that she was suicidal and Sarah saved her and that's why she was so drawn to that, not because she wanted to be a kook, and Pope just throws that back in her face because he's jealous that Kie cares more about John B's problems than his.

6. Well this is just a misrepresentation of what happened. She said give it to any charity because in that moment it seemed like without a reason JJ just blew that money on stupid shit. Pope thought the same thing that's why he yells at him for not using it for restitution. In that moment he just seems like he is being drunk and irresponsible, because they didn't think he would go back to Luke, Pope literally says that he wouldn't. And then note how when they see the bruises they know what happened and the tone instantly changes cause they realise what happened. And that he did try to do the right thing and got flogged because of it. And she is right in there to comfort him and reassure him. So like... yeah.

7. Please give me example for this. I don't see Kie insulting him that isn't a justified call out or playful banter that is returned and part of their push and shove dynamic. You know... just being friends.

The only times we see Kie react to JJ's home life she is concerned and sympathetic. She's the only one who's worried about JJ going home when he storms off and is instantly there to comfort him when she knows he's had interaction with Luke. I really don't know where you are getting this from.

I don't use it as a blanket statement, I know not to group shippers in as one, I know there are jiara shippers that I do not see eye to eye with for a second. The reason I bring up the 'kiara sucks' thing is because of the context it was used. We weren't talking about Kie, it wasn't relevant, it had no reason to be there or anything to back it up. It was random bitching and as you say fandom is a very racist place so yeah, it seemed like racism to me. Like you realise you are calling me ridiculous for being annoyed that someone just came to me and said Kie sucks without reason, and then this ask goes onto be annoyed that I have some issues with Pope and that more than likely racist for thinking it because you've elected to ignore my massive post outlining my stance on this.

My experiences as a queer person are not universal, no. But I do know they are very common. I'm so thankful that there are people out there who don't experience this and I hope that in the future it will be the norm. But realistically, with what we know about JJ, I think it is more than likely that would be his experience.

Look if you headcanon him as gay say the things with girls is comphet, then that's your view and I won't fight you on it. But remember that that is a headcanon. And what I have been talking about is were they intentionally setting up jjpope and are those actions indicative of romantic attraction, which if they we're they would have made a point to frame it as comp het, which they didn't, they might in the future but for now - they aren't. In terms of being a good liar, I just- like gay panic is a very strong thing. There young girls who tell everyone they don't like hugs because they actually really liked the hugs and feel like people will know that they are gay if they hug their friend, a hug. I can't see 'I'm a good liar' being enough to overcome those sorts of feelings.

The thing is while JJ has a nothing to lose attitude when it comes to his life and future the same doesn't apply to his relationships, because the Pogues are his thing to lose, his only family, the one good thing. I can't see him just saying fuck it I could risk losing Pope. So I can't agree with you there.

First of all, I was called anti-black for not liking Pope, despite the fact that I don't hate him, and just had valid reasons for thinking he is flawed, not the devil incarnate. Two, I am well aware that this fandom is racist, like all fucking fandoms, and have talked about it. And I think that fact that I don't hate Pope and laid out very clearly the reasons I don't think he's some perfect angel that does no wrong kinda shows that I'm not just random bitching because he's black. Also - I'm a fucking Kie stan. I have to deal with people hating on Kie for the same reasons they love Sarah - it's very obvious to see people motivations there.

And you are right. An interracial mlm ship would be great representation. So would an interracial ship between the hot guy that everyone loves with the black girl - because doesn't he always end up with the white self insert? But reminder that ships don't automatically have superiority because they have 'better' representation and certainly does not represent a shipper 'wokeness'. Personally I think a platonic relationship between two men that are as close and physically affectionate as JJ and Pope - especially when one is so traditionally masculine as JJ, especially if one or both of them could be queer - would be great representation for young boys struggling with toxic masculinity.

So yeah, I think your reasons for hating Kie don't have much basis in canon. I do not give if you like her or not but.. hating her and trying to prove that people shouldn't like her, that she's not good enough for JJ and coming into my ask and putting her down for no reason, still does not sit right with me.

[thepremedthatwrites]

hi so i've written this one shot where y/n was dating edmund and he takes her home for a study session and throughout the whole thing she and peter kept flirting, anyways she ended up staying the night in peter's room to be precise (i made it fluff). could you maybe write an alternate smut ending because peter is a naughty boi, i wrote this as if peter was 21 and she was 18 along side edmund, is this idea well written because i can't describe stuff sjdjskd

Our Dirty Little Secret

I have never felt so dirty after writing something lmao but I would be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy writing it.  I hope you like it! (also Edmund deserves the world so if you want to read some A+ Edmund imagines/smut I recommend checking out edmundpevensieisbaby on tumblr)

warning: smut below the cut

My fingers were interlocked with his as we walked down the street.  The unforgiving sun was beating down on us as we neared his house.  “This calculus exam is going to kill me,” I groaned.

“That’s why I’m here,” Edmund chuckled, squeezing my hand.  “I’ll teach you all that I know.”

“So we’re actually going to do work this time?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow and causing Edmund to laugh.

“I’ll try my hardest but that skirt you're wearing might make it hard for me to concentrate.”  I felt my face warm at his words.  The skirt I was wearing reached just the middle of my thigh, a bit shorter than I was used to but it was so hot out that I couldn’t help but wear as little clothing as possible.

“It is only Lucy at the house, right?  I don’t want to make a poor first impression with your other siblings.”  Ed and I had only been dating for a few months.  I didn’t want his family to already disapprove of me.

“Actually, Peter just got home from university.  He’s staying for the weekend.”

“You’re joking,” I groaned as we walked up to the front door.  The extra car in the driveway supported Edmund’s claim.  

“I’m home!” Edmund announced as we entered the house.  Lucy was sitting at the kitchen table, eating an apple while scrolling through her phone.  She glanced up, giving a smile and a wave before returning to her phone.  I heard the sound of footsteps approaching us from the hall to our right.  A tall man who seemed to be in his early twenties appeared.  I was taken aback by his attractiveness, his blond hair slightly messy as if he had just woken from a nap, his blue eyes still slightly clouded with sleep.  He ran his fingers through his hair as his eyes landed on me.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing home a guest,” the man said.

“Well I didn’t know I had to tell you,” Ed replied, releasing my hand to wrap his arm around my waist.  “Pete, this is my girlfriend (y/n).  (Y/n), this is my older brother Peter.”

“Nice to meet you,” I smiled, extending my hand for him to shake.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well,” Peter said, shaking my hand as his eyes traced my figure, lingering on my skirt for a moment before flickering back to my (e/c) eyes.  “Ed didn’t tell me he had a girlfriend.”

“We really only just started dating,” I said quickly, feeling my heart race as Peter’s eyes focused on me.  

“If you excuse us, (y/n) and I will be in my room studying,” Ed said as he started to guide me towards his bedroom.

“Are you guys actually going to be studying this time?” Lucy asked from the kitchen table causing me to start blushing.  While I had thought we had been quiet, Lucy’s comment suggested otherwise.  

“Haha very funny,” Edmund said, sticking his tongue out at his little sister.  

“Wow, very mature Ed,” she replied with, rolling her eyes and causing me to chuckle.

“Come on, stop your bickering.  I need you to help me pass this calc exam,” I said, pulling him towards his bedroom door.  I could feel Peter’s eyes watching me as I walked into Ed’s room.  I turned back towards Peter, my eyes catching his causing him to turn away as I closed the door.  My heart was still racing as the door replaced my vision of Peter.  No, this was wrong.  I was with Ed, not Peter.  But there was something about Peter that seemed to draw me towards him.

“You okay (y/n)?” Edmund asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

“Yeah, of course,” I lied, making my way to my boyfriend.  “Now, please for the love of God explain what an integral is,” I said as I pulled out my notebook from my backpack.

Ed and I had been studying for about an hour.  “Does that make sense?” Ed asked as he finished his explanation.

“I think so,” I said, slowly nodding my head.

“Good.  I think we should take a break,” he said while bringing his hand towards my thigh.

“What exactly were you thinking we should do during this break?” I questioned, my voice low as I started to lean in towards him.

“I have a few ideas,” he growled, his hand roughly squeezing my thigh causing me to gasp.  “And a few of them include taking off that pretty little skirt of yours.”  He closed the gap between us that I had already been slowly closing.  The kiss was rough, taking the breath out of me as his hands wandered my body.  Somewhere during the kiss, I moved so that I was straddling him.  I held his face in my hands as I parted my lips, allowing him entrance.  His hands squeezed my ass causing me to let out a small moan.  The sound of someone clearing their throat caused us to pull away quickly.  I looked up to see Peter in the frame of the now opened door.

“Dinner’s ready,” Peter stated through clenched teeth.  He seemed stiffer than before as he looked at the scene in front of him.  I slowly climbed off of Ed, my face now a light pink from a mixture of the make-out session and being caught.  I adjusted my skirt which caught the attention of Peter whose eyes flickered to it.  “Will you be joining us for dinner (y/n)?”

“Oh yes,” I replied quickly, hoping the new conversation would help ease the tension in the room.  Ed got up, walking to my side.

“She’s actually staying the night since I live much closer to school.  That way she can get to school early to study before her exam.”  Peter shifted his weight between his feet as he listened to his brother, occasionally glancing at me.  

“Alright,” he said before turning around and heading back to the kitchen.

“He isn’t mad, is he?” I asked quietly.

“No,” Ed shook his head.  “At least I don’t think so.  I’m not sure what his problem is.  Maybe he’s just stressed.”  He gave a shrug before grabbing my hand and leading me to the kitchen.

“Oh look!  The two lovebirds finally decided to grace us with their presence,” Lucy said as we walked into the kitchen.  Edmund’s parents chuckled at their daughter’s comment.

“You’re just on a streak today of making fun of me,” Edmund said, shaking his head.

“Isn’t that every day?” Peter questioned causing all of us to laugh.  Edmund sat down next to Lucy while I sat across from him next to Peter.

“How’s studying going?” Edmund’s father asked.

“It’s going good.  Edmund’s amazing at teaching math,” I said.  

“Well, it’s easy when the student is so amazing.”  I smiled at Edmund’s words.  His parents smiled as well while Lucy made fake gagging sounds.  This caused her parents to turn to her and ask her about her day.  I half-listened while shoveling food into my mouth, starving after a day of school which included no breaks for lunch.

“Hungry?” Peter questioned, chuckling at his own joke.

“Only a bit,” I replied with, cracking a smile.  “I haven’t eaten all day plus it doesn’t hurt that the food is absolutely delicious.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You cooked this?”  My eyes widened in surprise.  At first glance, you wouldn’t think of Peter as a cook.

“My specialty,” he said, a grin on his face.  

“(Y/n),” Edmund’s mother said causing me to turn to her.  “We set up the couch for you to sleep on but if it’s too uncomfortable, I’m sure Susan wouldn’t mind you borrowing her bedroom for the night.”

“The couch is fine,” I replied as everyone had started to clean up.  

“Great!  Edmund, would you clean up your girlfriend’s plate while I show her to the bathroom.”  Edmund nodded, grabbing my plate and walking towards the sink where Lucy was waiting.  I got up from my seat.  As I started to turn to follow Edmund’s mom, I couldn’t help but realize that my ass was level with Peter’s face who was still sitting next to my seat.  I straightened my skirt, trying to pull it down a bit lower to cover as much as possible so Peter didn’t see too much.  I could feel his eyes watch me as I walked away from my seat and towards the hall where the bathroom was.

I laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.  It was almost midnight now but I could barely sleep.  All I could think about was Peter.  “Snap out of it,” I mumbled to myself as I turned to my side.  I was with Edmund, not Peter.  But why did Peter make my heart flutter and my stomach do somersaults?  “This isn’t working,” I said, sitting upright.  I ran a hand through my (h/c) locks.  Maybe spending some time with Edmund would help me get my mind off of Peter. 

I slowly got off of the couch, tiptoeing my way towards Edmund’s door.  I paused as I heard what sounded like panting coming from another door.  “(Y/n),” I heard a voice gasp through the wooden door.  I inhaled sharply as I realized it was Peter’s voice.  I slowly opened the door to see Peter laying in bed, his hands wrapped around a very erect cock.  

“Peter?” I questioned, causing him to freeze.  He rushed to cover himself as he started to mumble something.  I felt my heart race as I closed the door behind me, the knot in my stomach becoming more intense with every step I took towards him.  “It’s okay,” I said softly as I crawled into his bed.  Peter let out something between a sigh and a growl as I felt his hands wander my body.

“Fuck (y/n),” he muttered as I allowed my hands to wander his body.  He was completely naked which allowed me to trace over his defined abs and warm skin without any barriers.  “You know, you look a lot more mature than eighteen.”

“Really,” I chuckled as my hands wrapped around his cock causing him to inhale deeply.  “You know, I was actually on my way to see your brother.  I couldn’t get my mind off of you, wondering what it would feel like to have your huge cock stretching out my tight little pussy.  I thought maybe Ed could take my mind off of it,”  I leaned in so that my mouth was right by his ear.  “But maybe acting out my fantasies would be the best way to get over them.”  I gently bit down on his earlobe causing him to let out a low moan.  I had started to slowly move my hand up and down his cock, watching with interest at how Peter reacted to my actions.

He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back on his pillow as I quickened my pace.  He let out a low moan, bucking his hips.  After a few minutes, his hand grabbed my wrist, stopping my hand.  “If you want me to fuck you, you’ll have to stop jerking me off before I cum,” he said.  Although he didn’t say it in any particular way, his words turned me on even more as I rubbed my legs together, wanting any kind of friction.  Peter sensed this as he pinned me to the mattress, his face only inches from mine.

His lips crashed with mine, his tongue ripping open my mouth and exploring it while his hands worked on removing my clothes.  We separated for a moment to take off my shirt before our lips were back together.  I helped take off my shorts and underwear, our kiss being broken up into smaller kisses with gasps of air in between.  He pulled away leaving me both breathless and dizzy.  I watched as he lined himself with me before pushing in.  I let out a loud moan causing him to cover my mouth with his hand.  “We don’t want Edmund to walk in on us now do we,” he said, raising an eyebrow.  I shook my head no.  “That’s a good girl,” he said before slowly rolling his hips.  

My back arched in pleasure, my hands gripping the sheets as Peter quickened the pace.  The bedsprings groaned underneath us as Peter slammed into me over and over again.  He fell onto his forearms, panting into my ear as he quickened his pace even more.  I dug my heels into him, pushing him even deeper.  “You’re so fucking tight,” he said in a half moan.  His lips found my neck causing me to gasp.  Peter sucked and bit down along my neck causing my hands to rake down his bare back, the pleasure becoming too much.

“Peter,” I gasped as he bit down on my neck one last time, almost surely leaving a hickey.  If my mind hadn’t been clouded with lust, I would have chastised him for leaving a love mark on my body, something Edmund was sure to notice.  Instead, it caused me to let out a low moan as my orgasm rippled through me.  My eyes were forced closed as my head flew back my body pressed against Peter’s as I held onto him for dear life.  The pleasure became almost unbearable as Peter quickened the pace, his thrusts becoming more sloppy and desperate as he chased his own orgasm.  

He let out a moan as I felt his warm seed spill into me.  “(Y/n),” he moaned as he thrusted into me sporadically as his orgasm started to slow down.  He slowly got off of me, falling to my side before turning to face me.  He pulled me in for a kiss that was much more gentle than the ones we had shared during our moment of passion.  I rested my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat as I was slowly lulled to sleep.  The one thing that I could think of as I was pulled into my dreams was that I had just fucked my boyfriend’s brother.

[passable-talent]

Going with Ani to free his mom because you know it’s such a big moment for him (and obviously being there for the aftermath)

oof. here I go to make myself angsty for the evening

same day request answering. its like its april.

Padme Amidala is a really good person. It pretty much all comes back to that. 

She’s kind. She’s empathetic. She recognizes when someone is in pain, and when someone needs help. She understands when an unwise course of action is one that needs to be taken. 

So, of course, she understood when the Jedi apprentice meant to protect her instead wanted to run away to his birth planet and help his mother. Of course she did. 

Though, level headed as she was, she thought that it might be wise to gather up another Jedi. To watch over her while Anakin was distracted, or possibly to help Anakin face whatever plagued his mother. 

She suggested Anakin call upon Obi-Wan, which he refused. Obi-Wan’s mission was just as important, and if he knew what Anakin planned, Anakin would never be allowed to go.

So, instead, he called for you. 

You were also a Jedi apprentice, at that time training between missions at the temple on Coruscant. Your master, Shaak Ti, trusted you immensely, and granted you permission to leave on your own. You commanded a Starfighter and were on your way- opening a com to Anakin en route. You had never been to Tatooine before, but had heard about it whenever Anakin felt like sharing his childhood. As his closest friend other than his master, you knew how much his mother weighed on his soul, and how much he had wished that Qui-Gon could have saved her, too. You had known that one day, he would try to return. He had promised his Shmi as much. 

Anakin’s reunion with Watto was tense for just about everyone there. You didn’t know the terrain, you barely knew Padme, you certainly didn’t know Watto, but you felt the impatience rolling off of Anakin. It put you on edge, and so as he followed Watto into the shop, you kept pace behind Padme, ensuring her safety. It was the one thing you felt you were capable of doing, the one thing you could control. 

Anakin wasn’t very talkative. Padme tried- but he was a focused man, and felt closer to finding his mother than he had in a decade. You were a silent support, beside the senator, as though you could take some of the weight off of Anakin’s shoulders. Every emotion he experienced seemed to radiate out from him, and it almost made your head pound to get blasted with them all- the guilt, the fear, the anger. You just hoped that he’d find his mother alive, or else, you imagined, this would get so much worse. 

When you left the ship again, you found yourself in the most flat, barren landscape you’d ever seen. Growing up among the skyscrapers of Coruscant, it was almost unfathomable, to look out at the horizon and see nothing between you and it. 

There was, however, one little building, which you could gather was your destination. And a droid. 

Anakin’s mind must have been clouded by his emotion, or maybe he just wasn’t showing it, because you could feel that something was off. From the moment C-3PO requested to go inside, you knew that there was nothing but bad news here. You couldn’t say anything, though- you felt it wasn’t your place. Anakin was among his family, now, even if they’d never met him, and he needed to hear it from them. 

You could tell. Shmi Skywalker was gone. 

“It was just before dawn,” Cliegg Lars explained, “they came out of nowhere. A hunting party of Tusken Raiders.” You had heard of them before- in Anakin’s ramblings of the pod racing he did as a child. You sat at the end of the table opposite Cliegg, though it did feel informal. The head of the table was meant for anyone other than you, surely- but Anakin had his place at Cliegg’s right hand, and Owen at his left. 

“Your mother had gone out early, like she always did, to pick mushrooms off the vaporators.” At the very least, you were silently happy that Shmi had spent her last years as a free woman with a husband that clearly cared about her greatly. 

“From the tracks, she was about halfway home...” Your heart broke with every word for Anakin Skywalker, who had spent years dreaming of returning for his mother, only to arrive too late. “...When they took her.” Anakin’s face was devoid of clear emotion, but you knew him well- you could see that famous temper brewing inside of him. But, this was more than a frustration. This was so much deeper than that. 

“Those tuskens walk like men,” Cliegg continued with a sigh, “but they’re mindless, vicious monsters. Thirty of us went out after her, four of us came back.” You lowered your head in respect, but kept your eyes on your friend, whose brows were tightly knit. He was thinking, mulling it over, considering, processing. You couldn’t blame him, but wished you could make it easier. 

“I’d be out there with them, but...” Cliegg, too, was weighed down by his grief. His loss, you could see, was still just as raw as Anakin’s. “After I lost my leg, I just couldn’t ride anymore, until I heal.” Anakin’s heart seemed to break open wider with every moment that passed him by, and Cliegg continued, trying to reassure his lost stepson that his mother hadn’t died unloved. 

“I don’t want to give up on her, but she’s been gone a month.” Unimaginable it was how much it must’ve hurt Anakin to know that he had missed her by only a month. “There’s little hope she’s lasted this long.”

And there it was- the clear implication to Anakin that his mother was not only gone, but dead. That there was a finality to it, and nothing he could do. You watched him, carefully, as he turned his head, and clearly you could see that he didn’t take such helplessness well. 

He stood, and you made to do the same, but the both of you were interrupted by Owen, asking Anakin’s intensions. 

“To find my mother,” Anakin said, and you let out a short breath. 

“Your mother’s dead, son,” Cliegg said, with the voice of a heartbroken husband, “Accept it.” 

Anakin left without a word. 

You followed, knowing his plan. 

“Anakin, it’s dangerous,” you told him, and he turned, shaking his head. 

“I’m going. I have to.” 

“I know,” you said, and in the gaze you shared with him, he realized that you meant to come with him. 

Padme emerged from the entrance, and her gaze met yours. You nodded, and she gathered that you hadn’t been able to stop him. You hadn’t tried. 

“You’re gonna have to stay here,” you said, a little more hardness in your tone than you had intended. “You’ll be safe until we return.” Anakin stood behind you, grief and anger rolling off of him, and though she could not feel the Force, Padme clearly could see a man in pain. After all, Padme Amidala is a really good person. She walked to him and gave him a brief hug. 

“We won’t be long,” you promised as they parted, and as she retreated inside, you followed him to the speeder. 

The longer he rode, the more anguish he felt. He hardened before you, from a boy who lost his mother, to a man who sought revenge. You could only hope you would serve to curb the damage. 

Just after nightfall you reached the encampment of the raiders, their domes still lit by dying fires. You deferred to Anakin’s lead, assuming that he would know your enemy better than you. It had been a while since the two of you had gone on a mission together- if the atmosphere were less dire, you might have even enjoyed it. 

You don’t know how he chose which dome to enter, but it was the right one. You felt the world change when Anakin laid eyes on the bloodied woman tied to a post, like you were recognizing her yourself. Shmi Skywalker, still alive.

“Go,” you whispered, stationing yourself between the opening of the dome and the opening Anakin had created. His reunion was his own, and you gave him the best security and privacy you could. It was astounding that she had survived, all this time, and for a moment you were filled with hope, joy, that he had disobeyed Cliegg and searched for her anyway. Otherwise, she likely never would have been found. You kept your eyes to the night outside the dome, a lookout, your breathing calm with the joy and love and relief that Anakin had once again allowed into his body. 

And then you felt it change. 

You whirled around, and she was dead, and Anakin’s silence was suddenly all you could hear. The world was turning red around the both of you as he felt the grief of his mother’s death for a second time, and his eyes lifted to yours. 

“Anakin,” you breathed, knowing nothing else to say. His grief hardened into anger, but he gently closed her eyes and held her close. You didn’t know what to do. Panic hit you hard as his anger curdled into rage, and his eyes lifted. 

“Anakin, we need to take her home,” you said, hoping to deflect his focus. He didn’t listen. 

As he lowered her gently to the floor so that he could stand, you tried to move into his way, and successfully you cupped his face, catching his eyes for just a moment. In them, you didn’t see the anger you felt from him. In them, you saw so much sadness. 

And so you let him go. 

It wasn’t the Jedi way, you knew that. And you wished you could will yourself to move, to stop him, because the pain that his actions would cause would haunt him, possibly for the rest of his life. But it felt as though he needed this, as though it was the only thing that would sate his soul. So you breathed mantras, and did your best to combat his anger with peace, thinking that it might invade him. 

And when the Tusken Raiders had all given their last breaths to Anakin Skywalker, you went to him. 

He collapsed to his knees under his own weight, no longer grieving but feeling a consuming emptiness. You had to force yourself to block it out as you ran to him, and pulled him against you. Never before had you felt someone who needed a hug so bad, and only then did he begin to break, knotting his fingers into the robes at your back. He buried his face, but did not cry, and you stayed as long as he needed you to. 

You drove home. He held his mother, behind you, cradling her like she had once held him. You rode through sunrise, back to Cliegg’s home, where quickly you were met by Owen, Padme, Cliegg, Beru. You dismounted quickly and retreated, knowing that this was Anakin’s moment, and his alone. His anger had returned, but it didn’t feel so sharp anymore- it was anger and sadness and frustration, and it just felt to you like pain. Incredible pain. 

You stayed in the room with him, wherever he went, continuing the strategy you’d had back at the camp. You held peace in your chest, and hoped that he could feel it the way you felt his pain. You hoped it would calm him. His pain did not fade, but it did dull, and for a while as he tinkered with the shifter, it felt as though maybe the anger had drained from his body. 

Padme entered with two meals, and she handed one to you before approaching Anakin, her footsteps light, but her presence noticeable. 

“I brought you something,” she said over his shoulder, and when he didn’t respond, she moved around to his front. “Are you hungry?”

“The shifter broke,” he told her, and if it wouldn’t have taken from your concentration you would’ve chuckled. He avoided the question- you knew he hadn’t eaten in at least a day. “Life seems so much simpler when you’re fixing things.” You would give anything to have back the boy you’d trained with on Corellia. So heavy Anakin felt now, with everything that had happened. You wished you could give him back the peace he had once felt. Padme looked to you briefly as she moved to set down the tray near Anakin, and you nodded. You’d get him to eat eventually. 

“I’m good at fixing things,” Anakin continued, “always was.” Padme turned back to him slowly, the both of you noticing the waver in his voice. “But I couldn’t...” he trailed off, putting down his tools. “Why’d she have to die? Why couldn’t I save her?” You sat up, more toward your feet, ready to approach him if you felt the need. He was getting ramped up again, but the jagged edges of his grief this time was less anger and more blame. Blame on the Tuskens, blame on himself. “I know I could have!” He turned from Padme and for the briefest of moments his eyes met yours, but he moved forward, away from both of you.

“Sometimes there are things no one can fix,” Padme said softly, and you kept your breathing steady to combat his erratic emotion. “You’re not all powerful, Ani.” 

“Well, I should be,” he said, giving her words no time to hang in the air. 

“Anakin,” you said, showing disapproval of such a thought, and for the first time wished Obi-Wan was there. 

“Someday I will be,” he insisted. “I will be the most powerful Jedi ever.” He turned to face you and Padme again, tears glistening on his face but his expression angry. You didn’t know what to say, even when he levied his gaze toward you. 

“I promise you. I will even learn to stop people from dying.” 

“Anakin,” it was Padme’s turn to say, and what he said next shook you to your core.

“It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault!” he shouted, “He’s jealous! He’s holding me back!” Anakin launched whatever he’d picked up across the room, and it clattered quietly before coming to rest. 

“You know that’s not true,” you said, quickly rising to your feet. You took a step closer to Anakin as he turned away, but did not get too near. 

“I know,” he conceded under his breath. Padme sensed what was really going on.

“What’s wrong, Ani?’ She asked, and finally you realized what was truly causing his pain, in this moment. He was looking at his hands as he stuttered the beginning of a sentence, the hands that had killed so many. 

The peace in your body faltered- if you had stopped him, he wouldn’t be grieving nearly so much now. It was your fault.

“I killed them,” he explained, “I killed them all. They’re dead- every single one of them.” He turned to Padme with rage at himself and the raiders twitching his lips, tears still falling from his eyes. “And not just the men, but the women and the children, too. They’re like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals!” You lowered your head, trying to push away your own guilt so that you could be there for him. His pain, you knew, was greater than yours. 

“I hate them!” 

Hate leads to suffering. 

As Anakin sank to the floor, you and Padme sat to flank his sides. You were his best friend, closer to him than anyone else in the world, and so you leaned against his side while Padme offered her words. 

“To be angry is to be human.” 

“I’m a Jedi,” Anakin insisted, “I know I’m better than this.”

“Most Jedi never know their parents,” you said softly, “and never form attachments. There is no one in a Jedi’s life who matters as much as your mother does to you. I’m sure you’re taking this with more grace than Master Windu would have.” Anakin didn’t laugh, but he did quiet, almost as though he believed you. Slowly you found the hand he held beside his knee, and gathered it into yours. 

Padme leaned forward and gave him the best hug she could from the side, but then left Anakin alone with you. 

She’s a good person, like that. 

“Anakin, I’ve known you for a long time,” you started quietly, “and all of that time I’ve known you to be a kind man. A compassionate man. Quick to anger, yes, but not to judgement. They earned your rage, and that’s okay. It does not outweigh all of the good you’ve done in your life.” His grip tightened on your hand, still his breathing erratic, but once again the jagged edges of his mind began to soften. You let silence drift into the room for a moment as he slowly evened. 

“She was beautiful,” you said, laying your head down onto his shoulder. He nodded, and slowly, there grew the beginning of a smile on his face. “And she won’t be forgotten.” 

-🦌 Roe

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “One Flag and a Thousand Arms.”

Back with the major conclusion to the LFIL arc after months of not getting to it. Didn’t know I was going to write this today, but here we are. I hope you all like it, and sorry it is kind of long, but my typing was at light speed today (nice warm hands) :)

Anyway have a good day everyone!

“Please everyone, calm yourselves. The G A is addressing the issue as we speak.” 

The crowd roiled and churned like the bubbles in a pot of boiling water. Flags waved and voices rose high into the air.

The chanting increased in fervor.

“Please!” The rundi struggled to raise his voice high enough to be heard over the crowd, who only grew with strength and intensity.

Commander Vir keyed his mic, “Delta units to the GA side of the crowd, some of these protesters are looking extremely agitated. Let's make sure they don’t do anything we’re all going to regret.

HE stood with his back to the GA chambers, its wide arching courtyard devoid of life except for those unfortunate  Rundi ordered to carry messages from one side of the compound to the other, otherwise they tried to keep their distance from the front facade of the building and the churning mass of protesters.

White flags waved and fluttered.

Commander Vir held the energy shield with one arm pressing it back firmly against the crowd, so they could not pass the dedicated marking point. 

“Commander, the crowd here is getting violent.”  he grimaced and reached a hand down to open the line, “stun them and let them calm down, do NOT catch anyone else in the crossfire. We do not want this escalating.”

“Yes sir.”

Something pushed against his shield and he grunted pushing back. The white bandanna on his arm was pressed against the clear blue force field and helped to at least confuse the crowd before them. And luckily, they would be kept too confused to get violent.

The aliens among the human protesters helped as well. If this was on earth, things would have broken out into a riot by now, but the Drev the Tesraki and the Finnari tended to be more level headed when it came to these kinds of things, and they managed to rein in their humans from doing something stupid.

He closed his eyes tight for a second praying that the GA would rethink their position.

It hurt him to watch these people struggle like this. It just felt so strange that anyone should be here in the first place.

Beside him, Sunny had taken control of two young humans who were getting a bit more than rowdy, “Lets keep this a protest, and not a riot.” She growled giving them a look that would have made anyone quell in their boots. It sort of made him half smile, Sunny was such a badass, he wanted to be more like her when he grew up.

His thoughts were cut off  as the crowd churned a bit pressing into his shield.

Hey keyed his mic again prepared to go over the loudspeaker and tell them that if they didn’t calm down he was going to turn this protest into a mass nap time. He had the power to do that if things got out of hand, though he honestly didn’t want to. 

The GA needed to see this.

He was so preoccupied with the crowd that he barely noticed as the Rundi ran up from the inside of the compound flying forward on its long spindly legs.

It stopped by the first Rundi to say something, and the conversation that passed between them didn’t look particularly encouraging.

HIs heart sank into his stomach.

He felt…. Surprisingly disappointed, very sad for all those people who were going to get their day ruined.

The rundi waffled around at the front of the crowd for a bit before turning and looking over to where he stood.

Oh great.

The rundi walked over, and he backed off from the crowd allowing Sunny to take a step in his place with her shield at the ready. The people looked as if they were about to start something, but seeing her expression, they decided not to.

He dropped his shield and lowered his head to hear the rundi over the roaring of the crowd.

“The GA is not budging.” The rundi whispered, “They are asking the protesters to leave.”

Adam growled in frustration.

Behind him someone in the crowd pointed at him, “They’re  saying no aren’t they!” Others took up the call, and soon enough the rest of the crowd had been alerted. Adam was forced to run back to support sunny as everything suddenly grew more intense.

Fights were breaking out on the left and the right.

People were hitting the ground as the guards were forced to stun them.

That only agitated the rest of the crowd who also began to buck and fight.

Adam keyed the mic for real this time filling the intervening space with his booming voice, “ALL OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF RIGHT NOW OR I WILL STUN YOU ALL.” 

The aggression in the crowd died down, though the anger remained sizzling at the surface.

Overhead clouds passed over the sun, before him the crowd roared like a wave, and behind  him the GA council chambers were as silent as a ghost town.

“LISTEN, QUIET DOWN ALL OF YOU.” it sort of felt as if he was floating. The world around him hardly seemed real though that was not the best way to explain it.

The crowd died down a bit, “You may not understand this! And I have said it before, but these are not humans. Protests don’t work on them. When they see a group of angry humans they get scared and when they get scared, they double down even further. I know it does not make any sense to you NOT to protest for what you believe in, but if you are going to do this, you MUST remain civil. Even now the GA is frightened by you. They don’t believe you are rational, and they are not going to listen to you if this keeps up.”

The crowd had quieted down to a milling sort of confusion.

“Then what should we do!” the shouting came from somewhere and in anger, though he couldn’t pinpoint the source.

IN frustration he nudged Sunny, and she allowed him to climb on her back as he had before.

The crowd could see him now, and he could see them for the most part.

He waved them down trying to cut off the others who had taken up the chant.

“I understand what you are trying to do, and I support your efforts, but you are only hurting ourselves. The GA can only be won by rational discussion.”

“The GA won't see any of our representatives.” One of the crowd’s people snarled.

The call was echoed 

Adam stared at them in shock, “Are you serious.”

There was a muttering throughout the crowd.

“For fuck’s sake.” he muttered under his breath 

“The Rudi think none of us are high ranking enough to be allowed into the council chambers, and none of the representatives will take up our cause. The human ambassador thinks we are disgusting, so she won’t do anything.” 

The muttering through the crowd grew louder.

Adam looked around head turning to see all the angry faces, blushed with red, or streaked with tears.

These people were frustrated, and hurt, and he understood why.

This wasn’t right.

He closed his eyes again and took another deep breath. 

What was he thinking?”

He stepped down from Sunny’s back and walked over to one of the protestors in the front row pointing to his large flag on a pole that was about eight feet tall.

“May I borrow your flag?”

The protester stared on at him in confusion, “What, why?”

“Because, I am going to give you the representative you need.”

***

Commander Vir and Sunny walked alone down the length of the GA outer courtyard.

A billowing white flag streamed lazily  over his head suspended there by way of the pole which rested heavily on his shoulder. The white of the fabric had been marred now by many colors as hundreds of rushed signatures had been scrawled on its face.

He was armed with the backing of a thousand protesters, a hundred signatures, and more than a few dozen stories.

Sunny turned her head to look at him, and he fancied that maybe he saw an expression of pride in her eyes, though she didn’t say much except, “Pretty brave.”

He didn’t feel very brave, and as they walked through the front doors of the GA atrium his hand was shaking against the cold metal of the flagpole.

He was stopped by a pair of rundi guards on his way into the chamber, but was let in after they recognized who he was.

He could hear voices up ahead, and the sounds of the protest going on outside had all but died away, “They have proven that they cannot be civil, and based on the humanizing effect, we can assume they will do similar things to any non human lifeform that they encounter.”

“I may not agree with their decision  counselor, but that sounds like your prejudice against humans is seeping through.”

There was an uproar in the council chamber.

He paused for a moment with Sunny just out of line of sight and took a deep breath.

She lay a hand on his shoulder.

“Here goes nothing.” he muttered before stepping his way out onto the GA floor.

At first no one noticed his presence as he made his slow way into the center of the circle, but his large, white flag soon changed that. The council chambers went silent.

The chairwoman stood, “Commander, what are you doing here. Shouldn’t you be taking care of the protesters.”

His lips drew into a thing line, “I am.”

He rammed the flagpole against the stone sending a loud cracking sound out and around the wide atrium silencing the council, “I have been made aware that you refuse to see their representatives based on a ranking issue, well I assume my rank is high enough.”

The Human rep leaned forward, “Commander, this is not your place.”

He shot her a look, ”Then whose place is it counselor.” 

He turned his head in a wide arc at the watching crowd, “Counsel, you have known me, longer than you have known any human currently in this galaxy. You understand that I know your rules and your customs. You understand that I have only ever striven to protect and uphold the GA and the planet’s it encompass. I have thwarted wars, signed treaties, and broken my own body for your best interests.” There was silence about the room.

“Will you let me speak now, with the understanding that my loyalty has never wavered from you, and never will.”

The silence continued.

Aliens understood the power of human loyalty. Or at least they should.

The chairwoman took a seat, “Very well, commander.”

He lifted his head feeling his heart slow as he took a few deep breaths. There was a muscle in his face that had begun to twitch, like it always did if he was extremely angry or nervous , but he held it down, “I understand you are frightened, and I understand that you are confused, but I want you to know first of all that those people outside are good average people. They don’t mean you any harm. They are hurting, and they are afraid for themselves, and they are trying to get your attention. Historically, humanity has used protests to right the injustices of government to combat prejudices brought on by one’s sex or the color of their skin. You must understand that they see this as an impingement on their happiness and a decision made out of line.”

There was a murmur around the room .

“So I ask you now, that I may, perhaps, answer your questions and ease your worries. Why are you so against them?”

“It’s unnatural.” 

It was the Bran representative that had spoken, and he did it quite emphatically.

“Why?” The commander asked

“Because they aren't even the same species.”

“So?” 

The bran seemed caught off guard, “They…. It's not natural. They can’t reproduce, so it isn’t…. A thing that should be done.”

The commander shrugged, “So if one can’t reproduce then they aren't natural? I see a couple issues in that logic relating to prejudices against people with infertility.”

There was a murmur around the room.

“So they can’t reproduce, so what. You know who we can reproduce with though….. Adaptids.”

There was a sort of hushed exclamation form around the room.

The commander shrugged, “They can’t have kids…. Hardly a good enough argument to bring to the floor of a government discussion.”

“What he is trying to say is that this practice equates itself to bestiality.” It was the human representative this time, and she stared at him with her eyes narrowed in anger. He kept his cool though he very much did not like her.

“That is absolutely disgusting and wildly insulting of you because that implies that one or both parties are no better than animals, beasts as you will.” The room was silent, “So which one is it, are humans animals, counselor, are the Finnari animals.” He turned to the Drev counselor, “Are the Drev just dumb animals that have no understanding, and no decision making abilities.”

The Drev representative stood angrily cracking his spear against the stone, “We are most certainly not.”

The commander held up his hands, “Then what is so bestial about it? Bestiality is absolutely disgusting because you are taking advantages of a creature that can neither understand or protect itself form what you are doing. It cannot say yes, and it cannot say no. It has no greater understanding than that of a child, and so cannot make its own decisions.”

He looked towards the Finnari representative, “Tell me counselor, is your species a species of children, with no greater concept of their own decision making.”

“Of course not. Why would you even imply such a thing.”

“I imply nothing, counselor. This is what YOU imply with your decision. So far we have established that all parties are intelligent consenting creatures, and none of you have managed to give me an actually good reason for banning the practice.”

The floor was growing more agitated.

“They will be a poor example for the rest of the galaxy. If we make it legal others will surely follow.”

Adam turned his eyes on the speaker, an Iotin, “You’re worried that they are going to turn the rest of the galaxy extrial?” He laughed, “That is a poor argument which is not only selfish, but foolish. People should be allowed to make their own decisions. And assuming you are right, what then? Oh no…. There are a few more extrials….. And it does…. What exactly?” He turned in a wide circle, “If you are worried about population growth  or in this case population falloff due to this issue then you should be reminded that extrials comprise a percentage of the human population so small that I could fit the greater majority of them on my ship comfortably. This occurrence is not common, and even if the numbers were to rise, it would not be of enough significance to cause issues .”

His heart was hammering hard inside his chest. He felt like he was doing alright, but that might mean nothing.

“In any event, these relationships do not affect the vast majority of the galaxy. Humans cannot be with the bran or the Rundi due to the water we shed from our skin. The grimm and the Iotins are out for similar reasons. Vrul and Gibb are incapable of having feelings for humans in that way, and both the Tvek and the Celzex  are too different from humans for either party to be interested.”

He walked around in a circle allowing the flag to trail behind him, “Furthermore, the humanization phenomenon happens with or without romantic intent, and as it is, its mention is more a mark of prejudice on humans than it is an argument against the two groups being together.”

He left the floor open for a little while as the council muttered with each other.

Finally the Drev representative stood, “My species culture and our way of life has been upturned by the GA. I fear relationships with humans will result in the loss of our culture. We have already strayed far from what we originally were. We are hardly recognizable as Drev anymore.”

The commander let his voice soften, “I understand that the Drev have lost a lot in joining this….”

Sunny held up a hand, and in surprise he was cut off.

She took the floor, “Your Glory.” She said bowing her head, “If you upheld those ideals, you would not be sitting on this council.” The Drev pulled back in surprise at her words, “Yes, we lost a lot in joining the GA, and after the war, but I would argue that some of that was for good. Before the GA people like me, with perceived imperfection were cast into the fire and perceived as no better than animals. This practice still takes place on our planet, where these traditions are still alive and well.” 

Her words made the room shift nervously, “However, culture changes and adapts, and it must to survive. We changed in order to live among the GA. We found other alternatives to fighting that still maintain our honor and our prowess in war, and this includes the sports that the humans have brought to us. Furthermore, the vast majority of the Drev I see  who are with humans are those of us who would not be accepted by our own kind, perceived as ugly or malformed. If this is the case then your traditions remain sound, and those like me are removed from the mating population.”

The counselor almost looked ashamed at her words turning his head away so as not to look her in the eyes.

“As far as a change of culture goes it was bound to happen, and it seems you are more worried about change than you actually are about human drev relationships.”

She went quiet, and Adam nodded to her taking the floor again.

A finnair counselor stood, “I am simply worried about our birth rate. The Finnari were farmed by the Gnarlak for many years, and we are only now replenishing our population.”

“I don't think you need to worry. The amount of actual relationships is so small that it will not affect the Finnair population in any significant manner.” The representative sat back down with no real argument to combat him.

The chairwoman stood, “Your arguments have been heard commander, though, what the others do not mention is the issue of disease. We have seen a great increase of illness transmissible from humans to non humans and-”

“I hate to cut you off chairwoman, but that has a simple explanation, the rise in human tourism.” 

She paused, “Explain.”

“You all know very well that humans are not allowed to leave their planet unless they are tested for all communicable non-treatable diseases. This means that those of us that you see here cannot physically pass our diseases off onto other people except for the germs that are found naturally on our skin. In this case these issues did not stem from relationships at all but poor vaccination, the poor regulation of tourism, and allowing aliens to travel onto earth where infected humans are located and not testing them as they leave.”

He looked on at them pleadingly, “You see. You don’t even have problems with them, but you are using them as a real scapegoat for the actual issues. And I am here to tell you that, in fact you are causing more problems by banning this.  The more you push, the harder they will push back, and eventually someone is going to get hurt, because they are not allowed to be together legally they do it illegally, and because they do it illegally, they end up in dangerous places exposed to greater rates of crime. They get hurt, and they get involved in things they would otherwise not have gotten involved in if you had not banned it. Just look at Noctoplis. It has the highest rate of extrials living there and the lowest policing force and the most corrupted system. There are no legitimate jobs there, so we see an influx of crime by desperate people who won’t be accepted anywhere else. Not to mention that it increased the depression rates, which increases suicide rates. Your laws have ostracized them, forced them to become criminals, and turned many of them to think that killing themselves is better than living in a world where they are seen as disgusting when they don’t actually do any real harm.” 

He had to take a deep breath, “Earth has seen all of this before, and one way or another, eventually someone will see what I am trying to say.” He rested the flag on the floor beside him feet planted at shoulder width.

“I hope that this rational conversation will allow a more open mind on the council. I encourage you to talk to their representatives. They are more rational and educated than I am, and they can give you hard facts and statistics. But please, they don’t want to cause trouble, if you allow them to do as they will, you might find these problems going away for you.”

The human representative clearly did not seem convinced, but he didn’t expect to convince her, he expected to convince the others who were more afraid than they were prejudiced.

“It seems as if we have some other potential policies to discuss, Commander.” The chairwoman said tapping her fingers on the table before her.

“I have a suggestion, ma’am.”

“And that is?”

“A temporary revocation on the ban, that way you can SEE what the universe will be like without it, and you can judge for yourself whether The ban does any good. You don’t have to overturn the law just yet, but temporarily suspend it, that way you can re institute at any time. THan you will have concrete proof. You can do testing, and poles and whatever else, but you would know for sure.”

His suggestion turned into a discussion, that dragged on for many minutes before the chairwoman raised her hand, “It has been decided, all in favor of this temporary proposal please indicate.”

The voting lights flashed above them.

Commander Vir waited.

*** He walked from the venue hours after he had entered exhausted.

The flag felt heavy in his hands and his boots thudded with exhaustion on the white marble below him.

Outside, the protest field was surprisingly silent, though he could still see their flags.

As he walked closer he could see that the vast majority of the crowd was sitting down. Thei voices reached him from a distance at first until he realized they were singing with each other. 

Waiting for his verdict.

He was still a ways out when they spotted him.

A lone man and Drev walking form the building, the man wearing riot gear, a full helmet, a shield, and carrying their flag resting against his right shoulder.

The group of them began to stand rising to their feet and yelling.

Pointing in his direction.

They quieted as he got closer.

“What did they say! What did they say!”

He stayed quiet holding a hand in the air to silence them. He passed the flag to the original protester who looked on at him with such an expression of pleading that he felt his eyes tingle a bit with rising emotion.

He had to look away boosting himself onto sunny’s back keying his mic.

The crowd was silent.

“I spoke to the GA.”

They waited on tenterhooks , “And after a long debate, and a slim majority the GA have decided….”

Flags whipped in the wind, “To temporarily revoke the ban on inter-species relationships until a-”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence drown out by a powerful wave of noise and joy so overwhelming that he was nearly knocked backwards off his feet.

The crowd surged forward, and Sunny staggered as the group surrounded them pressing inward and upwards. 

Adam found himself on the ground on his feet packed in by bodies enclosed by hundreds of pairs of arms slapped on the shoulder and the arm, as every person tried their best to get one hand on him.

The flag from earlier was ripped off its stand and pressed into his hands.

He was deafened by cheering and an outpouring of gratitude so profound he had simply never experienced such emotion.

He looked up at Sunny pressed in with him by the enthusiastic crowd.

And she nodded her head in approval.

He grinned.

He had to admit.

This felt pretty good.

Though, weather it was all over was a question for another time.

[lu-undy]

Chapter 59 - SBT

Here it is!

"He's tied up nicely." 

"Parfait." 

[Perfect.]

Mundy finished using the bits of rope on Duchemin's legs and wrists, completely tying the man to the chair he was sitting on. Sirens were blasting outside as the battle raged between the animals and the guards. Mundy, Lucien and their prisoner could hear the muffled roars and gunshots.

"First, we make sure he cannot scream." Lucien said with a smirk. 

"How do we do that?" 

"What do you use to scream, mon amour?"

Duchemin's eyebrows jumped. 

"Yer th-oh… D'you wanna do it or…?"

"Non, please, after you." 

"Right." Mundy removed his helmet and dropped it down to the floor before cracking his knuckles. 

"Here." Lucien went behind Duchemin and lifted his head slightly. 

"Thanks, love, here we go…!" Mundy clenched his fist and punched Duchemin's throat so hard that the criminal choked violently. He was sent in a fit of coughs that made his face turn crimson. "That's for the alligators. They aren't stupid, you mongrel, they're more intelligent than you." 

Mundy spat at Duchemin's face. Lucien let go of his head and he lowered it, panting for some air. 

"Now, I may get my tie back." He removed it off of Duchemin's mouth and the man coughed. "After you, Mundy." 

"Right, listen here you piece of filth." Mundy crouched to be at eye level with the rascal. "Ten years ago you went to buy some land here in Oz to pump some oil and sell it. It was not that far from here actually, in what became a massive oil extractin' facility, remember that?" 

Duchemin nodded weakly. 

"But there was a farm on that land, wasn't there? You sent letters, made phone calls more and more frequently. You even sent blokes almost everyday to try and make those farmers give up their house and their land, but they kept on refusin', didn't they?" 

Duchemin tried to clear his throat and his voice came out as a thin thread of air. 

"Oui… Yes… They did… But what are you two… doing?" He coughed more. "You're the singer… and you… You're his lover - argh…" 

Mundy's eyebrows jumped. Of course, without his balaclava, Lucien was Lulu in the eyes of Duchemin. 

"We will come to that. Go on, mon amour." Lucien tapped Mundy's shoulder. 

"So then, what happened, eh? After months of harrassin' the couple of old farmers, hm? What did you do, you worthless piece of filth?" 

"I… I… Got them killed…"

"Yeah, you got them killed by burning the house and the farm, while they were inside, screamin', afraid, two old, defenseless people. Did you ever stop to imagine what it felt like for them? To burn alive? Completely trapped? Devoured by the flames, hm?" Mundy was speaking in low growls, frowning and clenching his teeth. 

"Of course not… I didn't care and I still don't… Do you realise that the rest of my men will soon be done with the animals and will come to end you?"

"I think they are fairly busy, Arthur." Lucien answered, peaking through the lock of the door.

"And I don't care." Mundy added. "Lu'? your lighter." 

Lucien tossed his silver lighter at Mundy. 

"Here." 

"Thanks. Now, look here Arthur." The Aussie said and took the kukri from his belt again. He slashed through Duchemin's chest vertically and swiftly. His clothes ripped off and he yelped as the blade met his skin and sliced. "Oh, sorry mate, didn't mean to cut you, I wanted to leave that to Lu', he likes that kind of stuff." 

Lucien observed keenly as Mundy flicked the lighter open and a flame sprang up. 

"You'll find out today what it feels like to burn alive, mate." 

Duchemin's breath started accelerating. 

"Help! Help me - argh!" Mundy punched his throat again for him to stop shouting.

"You can yell as much as you want. The noise of your bloody sirens cover your cries, mongrel." Mundy got the lighter closer and closer to the criminal's skin, who could hardly believe what was happening. 

And Lucien watched, his jaw dropping. He had never imagined someone as shy and sensitive as Mundy could be cruel. And yet, what he saw that day terrified the Frenchman. Duchemin yelled, jerked his head, and thrashed on the chair, spraying the sweat that had beaded on his brow left and right as Mundy let the lighter trail along his naked chest slowly, along the scar that he had freshly made with the kukri. The blood trickled from the long, straight opening and it seemed that Mundy couldn't hear nor see the pain he was causing. Him, who could feel the pain of others, even for animals, he was hard as steel. 

Lucien couldn't believe his eyes. He walked around to see Mundy's face. 

Merde. He thought. 

Tears were silently streaming down the Aussie's face. 

"Those people you killed like a coward, they were my parents. Honest folks, farmers, they used to help the poor with the surplus that we had. Mum used to knit clothes for the orphans. She used to make jams and pies for them. Dad always gave a hand to other farmers and people around. He was really good with mechanics. He used to repair cars, tractors, pretty much anything." 

Lucien didn't dare intervene even though the sight broke him. 

"And you killed them. Good folks, who did nothing wrong, who asked nothin' of you, hell, you didn't even know them…! But you burnt them." He paused and sniffed, completely ignoring Duchemin yelling his lungs out. "I should have been there. I should have helped. But I had some work far from home. When I came back home, I saw the massacre, I saw the firemen, and when they told me that they found remnants of people, I fell to the floor. Like a sheila. My knees couldn't carry me." 

The lighter moved in languid waves along the criminal's skin, punctuating Mundy's speech. 

"At the burial, there was nothing to bury. To sell the house, there was nothing to sell. For my life, there was nothing more to live. Whatever I'd live, I'd live it without them. They counted the most and they weren't there anymore. And it wasn't because they did something to deserve it. It was just because you wanted to get some oil." 

Mundy wiped his face with the back of his hand. 

"They died because some random French fuck wanted some bloody oil…"

He sniffed but his hand kept on steadily holding Lucien's lighter. 

"It took me ten years to come out of the grave you should have thrown me in, with them. Ten years eaten out by the guilt, eaten out by regret. I've been hating myself for ten years for a crime I didn't commit. I felt like shit and stopped living for ten bloody years because a worthless good-for-nothing piece of shit burnt my life down. I accept that I'm a crazed gunman, I'm nothing but a lunatic who knows how to shoot people from far away, a coward with a rifle. I deserve what you did to them more than they ever did."

He sniffed again. 

"Wanna know the best bit? They aren't even my real parents. They found me and adopted me. Those folks were so nice that they took a baby with them, fed him, raised him, educated him, for him to become nothin' more than a crazed gunman."

Mundy closed the lighter. Duchemin's face was drenched in drool and tears, he was breathing heavily and couldn't move. His head was jerked back. He couldn't do anything but endure.

"You killed my parents ten years ago. And by the end of this, I'll make sure that there's gonna be as much as you left as my parents." Mundy put his palm flat on Duchemin's chest whose eyes snapped wide under the pain. The Aussie was crushing the burning skin below his fingers. "But first, let Lu' do what he wants to you. I need a break."

Mundy stood back up and thank God Lucien was next to him as his knees wobbled.

"Oh, be careful… Here take my cigarette case." Lucien slipped it in Mundy's hand and the latter nodded. 

"Sorry… Sorry I'm shit at this." 

"Non." Lucien went to whisper in Mundy's ear. "You were perfect. Torture is a difficult exercise for the nerves, it is normal. Go and smoke if you want." 

"I feel like shit." 

"Your stomach?" Lucien asked. 

"Y-yeah…" Mundy looked at Duchemin again and he realised only now the atrocity of what he had just done. "Oh-" He put a hand on his mouth as he gagged violently. 

"I'm here, don't worry, it is fine." 

Lucien supported him while the Aussie went to a corner of the hangar and gave back the content of his previous meals. 

"Oh… Sorry… I'm just… Ugh…" 

"It is fine, I understand, no need to explain. Come here and sit down." Lucien helped him walk not too far from Duchemin to keep an eye on him and made him sit down on the bare concrete floor. "Take deep breaths, I am here, it is fine, it is completely normal, mon amour." 

He stayed with him a minute while Mundy let his head lean back on the wall and closed his eyes. Lucien knelt on the floor and delicately wrapped his gloved hands and his arms around Mundy's head before hugging him dearly. 

"Je t'aime, Mundy. Je t'aime à la folie. Je ne sais pas si tu comprends à quel point je t'aime. Tu es fou de faire ça avec moi, tu es fou et je suis fou de toi et de ta folie." 

[I love you, Mundy. I love you madly. I don't know if you understand how much I love you. You are mad to do this with me, you are mad and I am mad about you and your madness.]

He kissed his hair and brushed it repeatedly and slowly. 

"Luv'?"

Lucien looked down. 

"It's ok, go ahead." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Go and give him hell, ok?" 

Mundy's pale face was sharply contrasted with his beautiful, yet still weak, smile. 

"I promise." Lucien answered and kissed his brow before letting go of his lover and walking over to the centre of the hangar, where Duchemin had seemingly passed out. 

Lucien snapped his fingers next to his ear and the man tied to the chair opened his eyes. 

"Ugh…" 

"Arthur Duchemin, may I introduce myself? Oui? Oui, you are listening. Please stay conscious, I would like to get my message across as much as my dearest friend here did. You know me as Lulu, but maybe the name L would ring a bell?" 

Duchemin's eyes snapped wide and he went more pale on the face. 

"I see it does! Fantastique! My reputation precedes me and I see you are well versed in secret business. As you know, I am a spy for la Douce France, Agent L, pour vous servir." Lucien bowed. 

[I am a spy for the sweet and lovely France. Agent L, at your service.]

"Now, you might wonder why I am standing in front of you now, hm? Although if you know my name, I guess you know at least parts of my story. Oui, it will be story time again I am afraid. I know how boring these can be but pray pay attention and I promise to make it short. Well, I will make the story short, maybe not the rest." 

He started pacing the hangar, turning around Duchemin on the chair in circles. 

"You… L?"

"Oui, me L." Lucien comically exaggerated. "Mon Dieu, I thought you were French, please. Our language has a more elegant way of arranging sentences than that…" 

"You're not… Retired?" 

"Oh, I see you know this part of my story, interesting, interesting indeed. I used to be retired, it is true. But as always, when there is an impossible task, the people high up call back the good old classics, hm? Let us face the truth: spies nowadays are not trained like we used to. We used to not be trained which made us extremely adaptable! It was fantastic the things we could come up with back in the days! But now, non, they have to go through all kinds of tests and absurd training that all but destroy their creativity. Being a spy is like being an artist. We are given impossible tasks that no one else but us can carry out, because no one else has the talent to do it without getting killed or caught."

Lucien took his butterfly knife out of his pocket as he went on walking in circles around Duchemin who breathed loud and groaned in pain. The spy played with his knife without looking at it, letting the blades roll around his gloved fingers. 

"Oui! We are magicians, masters of arts that would have us imprisoned, jailed or locked up in an asylum, if we weren't employed by the highest authority of our country. But I hear you ask, L, where is this all going…?" 

Lucien stopped in front of Duchemin. He grasped his hair and pulled his head straight to face him.

"About a decade ago, you ordered the robbery of a bank, quite well executed I must say, and as your employees were chased by the police, they ran over a woman and a child. Oh, hold on… "

Lucien let go of Duchemin's head and it flopped forward.

"Mundy, my cigarette case, please?" 

The Aussie threw it back at Lucien. 

"You didn't smoke?" 

"Nah, stomach's still a bit funny, maybe a bit later." 

"Fair enough." 

Lucien opened it and retrieved the picture. 

"Here, look." He pulled Duchemin's head back up and waited for him to look at the photograph. "Her name was Marie, his, Jérémy. They were my fiancée and my son, the two loves of my life."

Lucien put the photo neatly away and closed the cigarette case before turning and throwing it back at Mundy, who caught it with ease. 

"Your goons hit them with a black 4-by-4 as they were being chased by the police. Of course, you wouldn't know about this as they made it out, you took the money and fled, setting foot in Australia a few months later if my memory serves me well. I did read your file, you see?" 

"Kill… Me…" 

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. Not yet, we still have to talk." Lucien smiled and Mundy's blood froze from where he was sitting. So that was Lu's natural habitat, eh? That was his job, his routine? 

"As I was saying, your goons ran over Marie and Jérémy. I was at the window, a block or so away from all this and I watched it all happen before my eyes: Jérémy starting to cross the road after a few people, Marie behind him. She heard the car turning at that corner, leapt at Jérémy to put him to safety, got hit first by the bonnet of that black 4-by-4, ejecting her metres away from where the impact happened and crashed on the asphalt, on the other lane. I rushed out, shouting, yelling my lungs out, tears running uncontrollably down my face as I cried their names. Once I arrived at their side, Marie closed her eyes and shed a single tear at the sight of Jérémy's lifeless body in my arms."

Lucien sighed. 

"I held them when the ambulance arrived and barked at them, threatening to kill them if they touched my Marie and my Jérémy. It was after those events that I decided to retire. I quitted everything and rented a small flat in Paris, a city that I never loved, and by then, I completely detested it. Like Mundy here, it took me ten years to come back to my senses." 

Lucien opened the grey uniform.

"You see this suit?" Duchemin frowned. "It took me ten years to put it back on. I lived in rags for ten years. I gave up shaving and cutting my hair. Anyone who saw me thought I was a beggar. No one knew who was the drunkard roaming the streets silently at night, a long bushy beard and equally long unkempt hair, a bottle of undrinkable alcohol in my hand. I was wandering, roaming the streets and drowning the pain of my loss in what would have killed me, surely."

Mundy's jaw dropped. Well, he didn't know that about Lucien…

"Non, no one knew who I was or why I was like that. No one knew that they could thank me if their mother tongue wasn't German anymore. No one would understand anyway, hm? No one would understand that the greatest spy France has ever had could go through the pain of losing the only family he ever had, the one thing you cannot pay with money, the feeling of security, of building something that would run beyond you."

Lucien paused and Duchemin raised his head. 

"But here we are, hm? You, le petit fils de pute who killed my family, my only family."

[The little son of a whore]

Lucien opened his blade. 

"Did you catch their names Arthur?" 

Mundy was genuinely scared. Lucien's eyes shone as coldly as his blade. Duchemin didn't answer. 

"ANSWER ME!"

"AARGH!" Duchemin wailed as Lucien sharply planted his blade in the hostage's thigh. 

"SAY THEIR NAMES!"

"AARGH!" 

Lucien dragged the blade deep in his thigh all the way down to his knee. 

"MARIE! MARIE AND JÉRÉMY-AAARGH!" 

He finally wailed. 

"Now listen." Lucien calmed down abruptly again and removed his blade that he wiped on Duchemin's shoulder. "You will spell their names letter after letter."

The criminal was all out of tears, he sweated profusely and the heat of the pain made his burns ache more. 

"SPELL IT!" Lucien shouted and planted the blade in his other thigh, sending Duchemin through another fit of uncontrollable wails and sobs. 

"M! M! ARGH! M!" 

"BIEN!"

[GOOD!]

Lucien put the blade against Duchemin's chest and carved a capital "M" through the burns that Mundy had already made. The Aussie looked the other way. He couldn't see any more of this. His stomach didn't have anything else to throw up. He just heard Lucien shouting repeatedly "Next!", and Duchemin yelling another letter. The criminal's rhythm slowed down after each letter. It was too painful to go on. But did Lucien care…? 

"You haven't finished, Arthur! What comes after? Come on!" 

The man was surviving on sheer adrenaline and the mad hope that his guards would find him before he died. But each time he started fainting, Lucien would slap him powerfully across the face. He removed his gloves and dropped them to the floor. Mundy looked at them, they started to absorb the blood that dripped from the chair. 

"Do you know why us spies wear gloves?" Lucien asked. "It is to not leave any fingerprints. But this time, I shall allow it. Let the world know that Mundy and I are responsible for your death, that we are ridding this planet of the scum that you are, enfoiré de fils de pute! NEXT LETTER!"

[Fucking son of a whore!]

And it lasted for more. Mundy heard the wails and they quieted down more and more. By that point, Lucien had rolled his sleeves up, and was oscillating between mumbling and shouting on top of his lungs, all of that in French. 

Eventually, Duchemin fell silent, which surprised Mundy. He raised his head and saw Lucien slap Duchemin hard, but the man didn't wake up. 

"RÉPONDS, ENFOIRÉ!"

[ANSWER, MONGREL!]

Mundy looked at Duchemin. The man had passed out. 

"RÉPONDS! ARGH!" 

[ANSWER! ARGH!]

Another slap but no success. 

"Love…" Mundy stood back up and went to Lucien. "He passed out. Nothing you can get out of him."

"RÉPONDS!"

[ANSWER ME!]

Lucien took Duchemin by his shoulders and shook him. His limp head bobbed around but the man was unconscious. 

"Stop!" 

Mundy pulled Lucien back and his blade fell to the floor. 

"I can't let him die, not now, I have to make him suffer more!" Lucien pushed himself forward to free himself from Mundy, like a mad rabid dog that the Aussie was holding back with a leash.

"Lu'?" Mundy pulled him back.

"... He doesn't understand, he doesn't feel it, he doesn't get it, he doesn't-"

"Lu', stop!" 

"He must understand, he must realise, he must-"

"ENOUGH!" 

Mundy's roar echoed in the empty hangar and silence fell around them as Lucien suddenly realised how far from a human being he had behaved.

"Merde… I am sorry…" 

[Shit…]

He clawed his fingers in Mundy's chest, holding on to the uniform jacket and the Aussie pulled him into a hug. 

"It's alright, I'm here now. Calm down. He's passed out, he can't hear you." 

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

"What are you apologising for?"

"I never wanted to show you this side of me." 

Mundy looked down and saw that Lucien's hands were covered in blood, his hair was ruffled too. The Aussie lowered his head and kissed his lover through his silky locks of hair.

"It's alright, love, I'm here." 

Lucien parted from the embrace. 

"Merde." 

[Shit.]

"What's wrong?" 

"Listen!" 

Mundy looked around them and pricked his ears. The sirens had stopped and he hadn't realised it. All he could hear was voices shouting. But it wasn't panicked shouting at all.

"They managed to put the beasts to sleep I guess. Can't hear them anymore."

"Oui, but they are looking for him now." Lucien pointed at Duchemin.

"Hey! I heard some voices in here!" 

The voice came from right outside of the hangar, on the other side of the door. Mundy looked at Lucien with horrified eyes. 

"Bugger, they're here, what do we do?" Mundy whispered.

"Go behind that door to your right. There are stairs that will lead you upstairs. From there you will have a clear shot on them. Put them to sleep or kill them, it matters little." Lucien answered. 

Mundy's eyebrows jumped. He was surprised by Lucien's answer. 

"What? What about you?" He asked back and they heard the guards trying to break in. 

"There is no time, mon amour, go!"

"I'm not going without you!" Mundy insisted. 

"Mundy, go! I know what I am doing! I have to hide Duchemin so that we can finish this somewhere else!"

"What?! Just kill him and let's get the hell out of there, we're not gonna drag him, are we?"

"We are. I will get this man to suffer more than what he put all of his victims through combined! Now go!"

"Ok, alright." 

Mundy trusted the long experience of the spy. After all, he was the expert and a very good one if one was to believe his reputation. No doubt he knew what he was doing. Mundy readied his rifle in his hands and turned on his heels. 

"Wait, Mundy?"

"Yeah?" He turned back to Lucien and the Frenchman threw himself at the tall Aussie, he grabbed his collar with his blood soaked hands and pulled him down violently to kiss him. It took Mundy completely by surprise. 

But Lucien quickly withdrew. 

"What was that for?" Mundy asked, confused. This was the last moment to share a proof of love. 

"For you to forgive me." Lucien said. 

"For what?! Look, whatever it is, it's fine, it's ok, just be quick!" 

Lucien let go of his lover's collar and Mundy ran upstairs. He positioned himself at the window above the guards who were now trying  to break the lock of the door. 

"Here! The C4's planted, that door's gonna go, get away!" 

Mundy heard one of the soldiers say and he started shooting but as he did so, the guard triggered the explosives. 

The door blew up and away. 

As did the rest of the hangar.

[butterbeeryuta]

the tech guy

techie!xiaojun x historian!reader | oneshot series | fluff, slight angst | 2.3 k 

summary: if there was anything people had to know about you, you were very clumsy. You were so clumsy to a point where you may have dropped your laptop and broke the screen. Of course, you brought it to the computer shop, and the tech guy did his shit. What he didn’t expect was for you to break your laptop on a weekly basis.

‘So what you’re telling me is, you tried to reach for the packet of Lotus biscuits on the top shelf, with your laptop on your left hand, and the moment you reached the biscuits, your laptop dropped?’ Yuqi, your roommate, asks as looks at you as if you were the dumbest person to ever breathe. Though if she did think so, she wasn’t exactly lying. You knew you should have left your laptop on some flat surface rather than your hand. You knew that your only talent was dropping things, or making a fool out of yourself by tripping on things unnecessarily. You couldn’t help but just be naturally clumsy.

‘Ok yes, I might have not been exactly careful—‘

‘_______ you dropped your laptop and broke the screen in exchange of biscuits.’ She says monotonously, as if she is trying to comprehend whatever you just told her.

‘I mean if you put in that way, then yeah, I did that. But Yuqi babe—‘

‘You’re an actual idiot, why didn’t you leave your laptop on a desk or something?’ She loudly asks, not bothering to listen to whatever defence you had. Which was honestly quite reasonable because you didn’t really have anything to defend yourself. You were just… you. Not wanting to hear whatever Yuqi has to say, or scold you, you placed your broken laptop down and cut her off.

‘Okay yes yes, I know I am in idiot. I know I should have placed it down, but Yuqi this was bound to happen someday, I just break shit—‘

‘Because you are so stupid—‘

‘Stop cutting me off! Anyway, it already happened and it’s not like you’re gonna pay for the repairing cost so tell me babe, do you know any tech place where I can ask someone to fix this?’ You desperately asked, pointing at your damaged laptop screen. Yuqi sighed, fully understanding that her getting angry at you won’t exactly change your extreme clumsiness. At the same time, who the fucking hell can be that clumsy?

‘Oh well I don’t know ______ I haven’t broken a laptop yet for trying to reach for some brown-coloured biscuits’ she sarcastically says, only earning a deep sigh from you. Thinking that your roommate’s great disappointment in you won’t go away, you decided to leave the shared space and go back to your room, and look for a repair shop by yourself.

‘Alright ______ I’m sorry, I know you’re a clumsy mess. I’m just worried that if you keep doing careless things, you won’t fix it’ she says, going towards you with her arms slightly open to hug your sulking frame. Not exactly sure what to say, you sort of just let her hug you, unsure if you should feel relieved that she will stop telling you off, or annoyed that you’re letting her be this affectionate towards you after bursting at you. Then again, a fraction of you felt that you needed to be told off for your clumsiness. This wasn’t your first time you drop such… valuable items. In Grade 9 your mother’s engagement ring slipped off your finger when you were planting a tree for service purposes. Then in your last year of schooling you accidentally dropped your friend’s camera in the sea when you and your friends were on a boat— it was a mess. The only good thing about your unnecessary clumsiness was that you at least admit it. You just nodded under Yuqi’s embrace, now thinking of ways to repair your laptop because you had a research paper due in a few days, and you only had to finish your conclusion. You were not willing to rewrite 7500 words in a matter of 72 hours. As if your roommate read your mind, she looked down at you currently smaller form.

‘You know, I know this guy whose really good at tech stuff. How ‘bout I give him a call about your laptop? I know you have your History paper due soon,’ she softly asks, hoping for a more cheerful response from you. You looked up at her immediately, very close to hugging her tightly for actually saying something useful.

‘Really? You’ll do that for me?’

‘Yes, why won’t I?’

‘Because you called me stupid for being a clumsy ass—‘

‘Okay yeah no Yuqi was being mean, I’m sorry bub.’ Well, at least you got some support from her roommate.

—————————————————————————————

If you remember correctly, Yuqi told you to turn left after you see your favourite stationery shop, and that if you keep walking straight, you’ll see a shop with the sign ‘Xiao Devices.’ And of course, you still managed to fuck up. Yuqi said to the tech guy that you’d come around at 4 in the afternoon. What was originally supposed to be a 10 minute walk turned into a 30 minute walk, making you 20 minutes late. Good on you _______. Despite your shitty navigation skills, you somehow made it to the store, and my dear, were there a lot of devices. The moment you enter the shop, it was gadgets stacked on top of another. You were beginning to wonder if the setup of the place was done for aesthetic purposes, but you felt as if you were about break something with how the store was setup.

‘Hello?’ You ask, slowly taking out your damaged laptop. Just as you were about to take out the mess you made, you felt someone coming out wherever they were. Turning to see who it was, you came to face probably one of the prettiest faces you have ever seen. He was a pretty lean guy, not too tall, but not short either. His dark hair was laying over his round glasses, making him look quite soft. In other words, he was attractive. He couldn’t be the tech guy, right?

‘You’re Yuqi’s friend? ______?’ He asks with his surprisingly deep voice, contrasting his soft features. His oversized knit sweater was not helping the fact that you thought he was some soft-spoken little guy that liked puppies, and was on a whole new level of nerdy. Then again, he probably could still be.

‘Uh, yeah. I am _______. And you’re Xiaojun?’ I confirmed, hoping that I did not mess up his name just like how I did last time with Yuqi’s ex-girlfriend. One year ago her ex came to your apartment to pick up Yuqi for a date, and you mistakenly called her Minnie instead of Miyeon, and you were very close to breaking them up. Now, the consequences will probably not be as big as what happened last year, but you still did not want to take the chance.

‘Yep, that’s my name. Yuqi told me that you broke your laptop, but she wouldn’t tell me how. She said something about how you were a better person to ask about how your laptop broke…?’ Well fuck. Of course I can, I can casually and confidently just say that my laptop fell out of my hand when I was trying to reach up for a biscuit with my other free hand. Yeah, I can totally say that. Fucking clumsy ass _________. Showing your broken laptop to Xiaojun, you took a deep breath and explained what led you to creating the product you were showing to him. You did not want to look at his disappointed face. You literally met this gorgeous guy for the first time, and you do not want your lungs to explode on the spot for your high quality embarrassment. After telling him your reason to why your laptop broke, you could feel his piercing eyes looking at your sulking frame. In your mind, he was piercing your body with a spear.

‘So you’re telling me that your hand just… gave up on you when you were reaching for the biscuits, and it just, crashed to the floor?’ Precisely Xiaojun. Precisely. You nodded slowly at him, unsure if you wanted to run away from the store and never come back and show your face to him ever again. ‘Well, that is a first for me. A much more interesting story than I expected to be honest. Come on ________, let’s take a quick look at what we can do.’ He says in a surprisingly cheerful tone, only causing you to look up at the pretty man immediately, only to see nothing but a smile on his face. Oh?

—————————————————————————————

‘Damn, you’re a History major? At fucking Tsinghua University? Damn, that’s really impressive,’ Xiaojun exclaims as he replaces your horrendously damaged screen. You were just telling him about how you needed your laptop to finish off you research on Japanese invasion of Korea, otherwise known as the Imjin War from 1592 to 1598. It was pretty interesting for you, but you didn’t exactly had the need to tell him about your research in full depth. You didn’t want to bore anyone with it, no matter how much that hurt to say that internally.

‘Well, thank you. How ‘bout you? When did you start being so… techie?’ You asked, watching him screwing the new laptop screen. Right after the words left your mouth, you felt him tense a bit from the way his gripped the screw harder. Did you say something wrong?

‘I was actually a theatre student, then my father passed away so I took over the shop…’ Oh. Unconsciously biting your lower lip, you were not sure what to say anymore. You weren’t even sure if you should talk. Deciding to stay quiet until he fixed your laptop, your head naturally dropped, your eyes watching your two thumbs fiddling with another. Xiaojun noticed your sudden change in posture; you were making yourself smaller. Taking in a deep breath, he knew that it wasn’t your fault to suddenly change the mood. You didn’t even know anything about it, you literally just met him. He couldn’t have expect you to know everything about him the moment the two of you exchanged looks.

‘It’s alright __________, you didn’t know. Now instead of keeping quiet over there, why don’t you tell me how the hell did you become roommates with that crazy ass friend of mine.’ He says, cutting the tension in the room to hopefully lighten the atmosphere. And he genuinely did wanted to make you feel at ease, you could tell with the way he looked at you. The moment you lifted your head, it was clear that he genuinely wanted to let you know that what you did was okay, and there was nothing to feel sorry about. You smiled at him, somewhat trusting his word, although you didn’t exactly know why you have to trust him in the first place. But, it just felt right.

‘U-um, it’s really nothing special’ you stuttered, trying to keep your shit together without trying to feel like pure crap. Which was already too late, but you still gave it a go. This tech dude was making you feel that you were alright for some reason. ‘I was looking for a roommate cause the apartment I currently live in is a bit pricey for one person. I kinda just asked my friends if they knew anyone who needed to move, and that’s honestly how I met Yuqi. She’s lovely, but she can be quite intimidating at some times. But lovely!’ Trying not to say anything wrong. You did not want to go through another mini meltdown.

‘Yuqi is scary as shit, that I can agree with. I don’t know about “lovely” though’ Xiaojun chuckles, and if you didn’t think you were falling for this tech guy, well you lied. His little chuckle only further complimented his soft aura, and his naturally nice personality just makes it even easier to just admire him.

————————————————————————

‘Alright here you go _______. Screen is brand and new, and zero cracks.’ Ha, thank you Xiaojun.

‘Well thank you, I honestly thought this would take more than a day to fix.’

‘It usually takes 1 hour, but yours took 3 hours to fix… so you weren’t wrong with the length of the time.’ Oh.

‘Right, of course. Well, thank you so so so much Xiaojun. How much does it cost again?’

‘Actually, you don’t have to pay. It’s alright ______.’ Your eyes widened at his words, what the fuck did her say? Ya’ll live in China for fucks’ sake, sure communism is a thing, but capitalism is still at the top.

‘I’m sorry what? It took your 2 more extra hours than usually and expensive ass crap to ease my clumsiness, I don’t think you want to get nothing in return.’ You said, not wanting to hear any more of his nonsense. He just smiles at you, closing your laptop and handing it to you.

‘Well if you put it that way, then yeah. I’ll give you a discount though, you made my job easier today despite the longer hours.’ It would be a lie to say that your cheeks didn’t go red from what he said. If he implied that your company made his job more fun, perhaps, you died internally. Perhaps. You handed the cash to the tech guy, only for you to leave his shop looking like a tomato with the image of his beautiful smile embedded in your brain. Goddammit Xiaojun.

If Xiaojun thought that was the last time we was able to see you, that would be a complete lie. Let’s just say that you were running to classes with your backpack zipper open, and only one of the straps were actually hanging for its dear life. And let’s just say that your laptop may have fell out, and fell flat on the concrete ground. Well, I guess you’re going to the tech guy again.

a/n: HELLLO EVERYONEEEEEEEE. so this took longer than i thought but here iT is. school has been closed for almost 2 weeks now because the virus, and i hope everyone else is taking care of their hygiene even more. yesterday was my birthday, but it honestly didn’t feel like it cause h a h a school decided to give us a load of shit to do since we had no school, so i was focusing on those. BUT BUT BUT BUT the KICK IT MUSIC VIDEOS JDNISDFNIJFNIJ anD the alBUM holy fuck actually what the literal fuck. taeil’s high note, MY BBY yuta has lines, haechan served, and fucking johnny... this is HIS era ya’ll. i really like elevator and pandora’s box the most, but lmao sit down is by far the most different(?) note euphemism djksjks idk how to explain it. kneeways, i hope ya’ll have a good day/night. 

[ejzah]

A/N: Basically, this is just turning into Kensi and Deeks flirting on the job all day long.

***

The Agent and the Lawyer, Part 11

Kensi was about to lean back in for a second kiss, when she heard the sound of footsteps and Eric popped his head through the doorway a few seconds later. Deeks quickly moved away from her, running his hand through his hair in a falsely nonchalant way.

“Hey, Callen needs you, Kensi,” Eric said, jerking his thumb behind him. “Oh and Deeks, I almost have your ID ready. You can come by and grab it before you leave today.”

“Great, thanks.” Deeks said. “Nice shirt by the way. Are those cacti?” Eric plucked at his button down, which indeed featured tiny cartoonish cacti, and nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah, it was limited edition. I think they sold out by now.”

“Aw, that’s too bad.” Deeks turned to Kensi. “Don’t you think I’d look great sporting a little desert greenery?”

“Actually, I think you’re both ridiculous and can’t that grown men would choose to around dressed like that,” Kensi said, purposely not looking at Deeks. Eric didn’t seem to notice the tension between them. “Did Callen say what he needs.”

“Something about a translation. He’s waiting for you in the bullpen.”

After Eric had left, she glanced at Deeks out of the corner of her eye. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if Eric hadn’t come along. Part of her was annoyed at the interruption and another, saner, part of her was infinitely grateful.

“That was close,” she told Deeks who shrugged.

“I thought you said Hetty wouldn’t have a problem with us having...whatever it is we have,” he said and Kensi sighed.

“Hetty might be pretty forgiving, but even she’s going to have a problem with us making out on the job.”

“So, what I’m getting from this conversation is that if Eric hadn’t interrupted us, we would be making out right about now.”

“Ok, that was not...” Kensi pressed her lips together and tried to fix Deeks with a no nonsense expression. It was hard with his teasing smirk. “Let’s just agree to try and stay professional while we’re here, ok?” she requested.

“Fine. I will try and be a professional, as hard as that is for me,” he agreed, but raised a finger dramatically. “However, I expect excessive amounts of making out later on to make up for this.”

“You are ridiculous.” Kensi gave him a shove and he let her push him across the room. “Now let me give you the rest of the tour before someone else comes looking for us.”

***

“Explain to me again why I have to complete firearms training,” Deeks said to Kensi. It was a few days since he’d officially accepted the liaison position and in that time he’d filled out numerous forms (some of which horrified the lawyer in him), been bored to death by agency policy videos, and received a mixture of helpful and not so helpful advice from Sam and Callen.

Kensi had been by his side through all of it, which was both comforting and distracting. They hadn’t really discussed “the kiss” at all and it was simmering between them.

“Hetty’s orders,” Kensi explained simply. He’d already learned that the majority of Hetty’s orders were followed without question.

“Yeah, but I’m just supposed to be consulting. There’s no reason why I would need to fire a gun.” He shifted the plastic safety goggles Kensi had given him, definitely stalling now.

Pushing them back into place, Kensi snapped a pair of noise cancelling headphones over his ears. She gave him a once over and then patted his hair back into place, rearranging his bangs over his forehead. She tilted her head, smirking at him.

“You look adorable. And you should know by now that Hetty always does things for a reason,” she said. Deeks didn’t hear Hetty come in behind them and jumped when she suddenly appeared near his arm. Most of the time he wasn’t fazed by her, but he was accustomed to her apparent ability to apparate.

“It never hurts to be prepared, Mr. Deeks,” she told him gravely.

“But...”

“You never know when you might find yourself in a dangerous situation that you need to fight your way out of.” She gestured to Kensi. “Ms. Blye, why don’t you give Deeks a demonstration?”

“Sure,” Kensi said, throwing him a smirk as she snapped on headphones and goggles. With a level of familiarity that was equally terrifying as it was hot, she removed her gun from the waistband of her pants, sighted the target and shot several times in quick succession.

She lowered the weapon with a mildly satisfied expression as they all studied the paper target, now riddled with holes.

“Hm, not my worst,” she commented with a shrug.

“You shot it in the groin,” he said, gesturing to the target, which now had a massive whole where its non-existent penis had once been. “Who aims for the groin? And why?”

“It’s always good to be prepared,” Kensi replied calmly.

“Ok, now your really scaring me.” Hetty removed the target, ignoring his reaction and nodding at it appreciatively.

“It’s also a good reminder to stay on Ms. Blye’s good side,” she added, giving Deeks a sideways glance.

“Is it too late to quit?” Deeks asked.

“Nonsense. Now enough stalling.” Hetty gestured for Deeks to step forward. “It’s your turn. Kensi will guide you through the process.”

If Kensi was surprised by Hetty’s order, she didn’t show it. She placed a Sig in front of him, not her own he noticed, and then folded her arms expectantly.

“What’s the first rule for firing a weapon?” she asked, reminding him of his 2nd grade teacher. Though he had been a lot less attractive than Kensi was.

“Aim for the groin?” he guessed. Kensi gave him an unamused smirk.

“Ha, very funny. Careful, or I might just practice on you.”

“Well, it’s seems you two have this handled,” Hetty said, clapping her hands together in a satisfied way. “I will be in my office if you need anything.”

Once she had left, Kensi picked up the Sig again and balanced it in the palm of her hand.

“Ok, since we’re starting at the beginning let’s talk about safety. The most important things to remember are to always keep a gun pointed in a safe direction, that’s usually the ground, keep the safety on, and don’t put your finger on the trigger unless you actually plan on shooting something. Or someone.”

“That’s it?” he asked, thinking that there should be far more rules for handling a dangerous weapon. Kensi shrugged.

“For now. As long as you don’t shoot yourself in the foot, I figure you’re on the right track,” she said.

“It worries me that I can’t tell if you’re joking right now.” Kensi didn’t respond to that, but held the gun out to him with the muzzle facing down.

“Now it’s time to talk about hold and stance.”

Keeping his arms crossed, Deeks eyes it dubiously.

“I told you I’m not a big fan of guns,” he reminded her.

“I’m not asking you to be friends with it, Deeks,” she said scathingly, offering it to him again.

“I think I’d rather-”

“Just take the damn gun, Deeks,” she snapped. Reluctantly, he reached out and gingerly grasped the grip. It felt heavy and foreign in his hand and he stared at it distastefully. Kensi was watching him avidly, but he didn’t try to hide his expression. “Great, you still didn’t shoot yourself.”

When Deeks didn’t laugh, she cleared her throat awkwardly and then nodded at the gun.

“Ok, using your dominant hand-so your right-hold the base of the gun like this.” She demonstrated with her own gun, creating a v-shape with her thumb and forefinger. “Then wrap the rest of your fingers around the front of the grip.”

Deeks followed her directions, a slightly heavy feeling growing in his stomach. He hadn’t held a gun in years, he’d seen plenty in court and evident, but never actually touched one. Although he definitely wasn’t enjoying the experience, it wasn’t quite as bad as he’d been expecting.

“Now wrap your non-dominant hand around the front of the grip and support your dominant hand,” Kensi continued, closely following his every move. After Deeks had copied her, she nodded. “Good, now we’ll work on your stance.”

“No, you’re holding your hands to low again,” Kensi said about 20 minutes later and Deeks dropped his arms, the weapon bouncing slightly against his thigh.

“Last time you said I was aiming to high,” Deeks pointed out. “You nitpicking isn’t helping.” Normally, he found Kensi’s dedication to detail to be an attractive quality. Right now it was just annoying.

“Just do what I say.” She gestured for him to turn around and Deeks sighed, adopting the pose she had taught him. Kensi made a frustrated noise almost immediately. “Hold still,” she ordered, coming up behind him. Deeks froze as she placed a hand under each arm and then nudged his left leg forward with her knee.

He could feel her warm breath on his neck, her torso just barely pressing against his back. It sent a shiver down his spine and a flurry of very work inappropriate images running through his head.

“If you wanted to cuddle, you could’ve just asked,” Deeks murmured, turning his head slightly so their faces were just a few inches away.

“Shut up,” Kensi said, her voice a little rougher than normal. She adjusted her arms again and then took a step back. “Ok, keep your arms at that level, sight your target and pull the trigger.”

Pulling in a shallow breath, Deeks slid his finger over the trigger, hesitating. Blocking out the wave of memories that came with holding a gun again, he squeezed the trigger. The bullet ripped a hole through the target’s shoulder, just inside the lines and he jerked at the kickback.

He glanced back at Kensi, whose eyes were on him rather than the target.

“Why don’t you like guns?” she asked quietly. It was a blunt and unexpected question.

“I just don’t,” he said shortly. “I’ve seen all the damage they cause when in the wrong people’s hands and I’d rather not be a part of it.” That was certainly true, even if it wasn’t exactly the answer to her question. Kensi squeezed his arm,her expression sympathetic.

“I’m sorry that this is difficult for you and I wish I could promise that you don’t have to touch one again, but I can’t. Hetty wants you to have firearms experience and a single shot isn’t going to cut it.”

He sighed heavily, tossing his head back.

“This is not what I expected when I signed on to a be a legal consultant.”

“What were you expecting?”

“A lot more arguing about chain of evidence, pissing Sam off by telling him all the laws he’s technically violating,” Deeks said, shrugging and Kensi smirked.

“Well, there’s still time for that.” She nudged his shoulder and suggested, “Why don’t we call it a day on the target practice? That’ll give you a little more time to get adjusted to the idea.”

Deeks gladly handed the gun over to Kensi who returned it to the armory while he hung up his goggles and headphones on the wall. Peering in the plexiglass window, he fluffed his hair, pulling a face.

“I think I have headphone hair,” he told Kensi as she walked back in.

“And how is that different from your normal hair?” she asked as he continued to fiddle with it. Giving up, he turned back to Kensi with a lofty expression.

“I will have you know that this look is carefully curated to appear disheveled and carefree.” Kensi snorted at that.

“Well, you’ve certainly got that part down. It’s very beach bum chic.” She cackled at her own joke.

“Actually, I call it “Styled by Pillow”,” he informed her. Tilting her head, Kensi reached out and ran her fingers through his bangs, rearranging them and then smoothed down the back. She paused, considered him again and nodded, apparently pleased with the result.

“Much better.”

“I thought we were supposed to remain professional,” he reminded her.

“I was just making sure you look presentable,” Kensi said. “I mean, do you really want Sam to see you looking like you just rolled out of bed?” It was a good excuse, but Deeks didn’t buy it.

“Or maybe you just can’t keep your hands off me.” Kensi’s mouth dropped open and she fumbled for words for a few seconds.

“That is not-that is not true. I can totally keep my hands off you.” She was so eager to prove him wrong, it was kind of adorable. Crossing his arms, he leaned close enough that he could whisper to her.

“I bet you can’t go the rest of the day without touching me at least once.”

“Oh I would totally win that bet,” she said scornfully. “You aren’t nearly as irresistible as you think you are.”

“Really? Then how about another wager. If you touch me at any point today, we actually go out on a date,” he suggested. “At a restaurant.”

“And if I win? Which I will.”

“I’ll have Alejandro’s delivered to your door for a week.”

“And what exactly in your depraved mind constitutes as touching?”

“Anything that doesn’t involve directly saving my life,” he decided.

“That is too good to pass up,” Kensi said happily as she pulled her phone from her pocket.

“You’re pretty sure of yourself,” Deeks said, smirking at her.

“That’s because I actually have an ounce of self-control.” She wiggled her phone at him. “And Eric says we have a case.”

Deeks chuckled as she sashayed out of the room, singing about all the tacos she would be eating. As much as he wanted to take Kensi out, he was going to enjoy watching her try to win. He didn’t plan to take it easy on her.

***

A/N: Deeks learning to shoot is partially inspired by a scene from the show Castle. And once again, I don’t know how to shoot a gun. I googled it. It’s probably inaccurate. You’d think after watching 11 seasons of a show, I might have picked something up, but I haven’t.