#not to say things don't change or get worse through the years. but. you know
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foxstens · 13 days ago
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old man yelling at cloud again
but whenever people lament about how bad games/anime are now
i'm just like 'play/watch better stuff'
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vaguely-concerned · 3 months ago
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just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
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lucianinsanity · 1 year ago
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Every time some science fact is mentioned and it's something that was discovered thanks to the help or invention of your country and you die a little for the lack of acknowledgment
Anyway if you’re from the US and you ever wanted to know what tumblr feels like from a non-USAmerican perspective (please note that the rest of the world is not a monolith either and none of these apply without exception):
Everybody’s talking about brands and stores you’ve never seen in real life. You generally assume they exist, but they might as well be one giant prank the rest of the internet is in on.
You find a post that just sounds wrong. It makes no sense. It’s like OP lives in a weird alternate reality. 9/10 times, it’s just some USAmerican Thing.
You’re still not entirely sure how much an inch is. Or a foot. Or even how many of the former there are in the latter. You maybe know your height in feet and inches.
You have no idea how much a pound is. You’d also like to know how the fuck pound shortens to lbs.
What the fuck is “military time”
Somebody talks about some legal process or something similar. They don’t mention which country’s legal system this pertains to. You know anyway.
People talk about politics. None of it pertains to you. Many posts contain guilt tripping. “How can you not care about this?? Why won’t you reblog this?? People need to know this about x candidate for y position!” You’re busy trying to stay on top of the political landscape in your own country.
You pick up some random slang from the internet. Monkey see monkey do. You’re called racist. You didn’t know it was AAVE. You learnt it from black letters on white background, not from the mouths of people whose faces you could see. How would you have known? You try to unlearn it.
People tell you that you must publicly denounce Chick-fil-A or you’re homophobic. You don’t even know what a Chick-fil-A is.
People say you don’t know LGBTQ+ history. What they mean is you don’t know USAmerican LGBTQ+ history. Nobody cares about your country’s history.
You’re “called out” on using an “offensive” term. It’s (a direct translation of) a completely harmless word where you live.
People expect you to have an idea of how far apart 2 USAmerican states are. You barely know geography past your country’s immediate neighbors.
You randomly switch between British and American spellings. Nothing’s real and there are no rules.
People talk about multiple hour car rides and you get twitchy just thinking about it. You suddenly understand why USAmerican cars are so big.
Somebody talks about school shooting drills. You only ever had fire alarm drills.
You see a cool statistic. The study’s only about the US. It’s unfortunately of no use to you.
People misuse/misspell words and names from your native language. It’s tiring.
(You feel sorry for the French. Nobody should be allowed to mangle the word déjà vu like that.)
You’re still not over the fact that USAmerican school children are supposed to say that pledge thing every morning. You’re never getting over that.
You still don’t know why the men are fresh or what the fuck a sophomore is.
Who the fuck pays up first and then fills up gas??? That’s made up, right??
Everybody has a weird obsession with some comfort food you’d never even heard of before you signed up here.
Fellow non-USAmericans, please add anything else you can think of.
#in the tags just because I want to compare#hell measurements are never going to make sense#temperature either#you always know the one that does not clarify ''the law'' is from US the rest of us say 'in my country'#I reblog some issued about US but it's purely because I think if they go through the countries like mine that have people trying to...#imitate ''better'' countries are going to get worse (like mine I wish it wasn't like that)#I try to not use slang for that reason#I know so much about US queer history is boring at this point#I need to learn more about our own history (which is awesome sometimes you know)#firts country with same sex marriage in latin America let's goooo#between cities is usual here to travel for hours#on the same city is too much unless is a big city so that's a little more understandable#but yeah the US is so damn big#I don't think we even have an evacuation plan at all stuff like that just doesn't happen#statics 🙄 infuriating#if y'all are going to use words from my language please learn the language#we do sing to our flag but I don't think is literally a pledge (nobody actually sang tbh)#baby the school years change from province to province you think I can understand the system of another country?????#I do understand the food thing but not the food choices#yeah I'm trying to learn more about the politics of my country because we have to vote this year 🙄#every time someone from my country is in an US video I go ''oh god what????'' and it only happens once a year#y'all treating cities like enemies we have countries that go ''my brother!!!!!!'' here
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myheartxmyman · 9 months ago
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Right now I feel so old and sad at the same time. Those feelings are so strong I feel paralyzed and slow.
#right now it's all too much#got so many problems and they are going round in circles through my mind-uncontrollably#my mind jumps from one painful thought over to the next and all I currently manage to do is stay calm#endure this vicious cycle of traumatic events#and stop myself from screaming#I am calm I do endure and I suffer#maybe in a bit I will help myself out of this situation I am currently trapped in#right now calming myself down despite of all those things is hard enough#tonight I am drowning in waves of heart wrenching and soul crushing sadness#after a good night of sleep everything is gonna be a bit better I am sure of that#currently I am fighting I am crying I am breaking; but that's alright#when I endure feelings like this now then I don't have to endure them on another time#Life is an up and down#it will get better again#I remember the years when I got so depressed or whatever it was that I felt like everything just got worse and worse and worse#that's one of the things I feel sad about currently I am not doing well at all but nevertheless I KNOW there are gonna be better happier#lighter times#that's a huge step in personal growth and I did it on my own#I am slowly healing myself#I am changing#I am evolving#I am slowly getting better#and it hurt me a lot last year that you didn't acknowledge mile stones I reached all by myself you didn't see me as me#it felt like you looked at me with what you wanted to see and then you blamed me for not being that version of your#as you also mentioned 'dreamwife'#you also put me under pressure with saying things like that it made me feel like I am not good enough#like you are looking down on me#like I've to change and get better so you are getting the 'dreamwife' you perfected in your brain#I mean how old are you?#also you said things that forbid me grieving over the loss of my father and Louis
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shitpostingsapphic · 1 month ago
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Why I don't feel disappointed by Vi's arc, but you might
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I usually have pretty strong and polarizing opinions when it comes to my takes on Arcane, but this is one where I wanna open up the discussion a bit more and invite people to my perspective, and it's fine if you don't see it this way.
I think there are two primary reasons why people feel disappointed by the arc of s2 Vi. The first, being that Vi had stronger voiced concerns about the state of Zaun in the first season. The second, being that she spent the whole show wanting to be with her sister and she didn't end up getting that.
Why I actually feel fulfilled in Vi's arc has to do with these two points, and I invite you to sit with what I have to say next.
Both of these parts of Vi have to do with her fatal flaw: her neglect of self.
We know two things based on what the creators have said about the show: the theme of Arcane is the cycle of violence, and the entire show was written together, instead of season 2 being written after season 1 production. From this, I can then ask: what do the creators want to tell their audience about this message, knowing they wrote it all out together, knowing the events of season 2 were very purposeful, using Vi as a conduit for that message?
If violence is a cycle, can one person defy it? No, of course not. At the start of Vi's arc, she wants to be a person that breaks it, though. She wants to change things in Zaun, wants a better life for her sister. As season 1 continues on, she wants to pick up where she left off with Powder without truly processing the gravity of the years between them. She thinks she can hold the world on her shoulders and fix any problem that comes her way. She thinks she can use her fists to make progress, thinks she can physically reach out and create change, but it only contributes to the cycle. And that's not because she's morally in the wrong when she does so, but she doesn't grasp yet that her fists can't fix everything. Vander tries to tell her as such in act 1, and it's a lesson that goes beyond just the literal application.
Vi's tendency to try and fix everything around her leads to her neglect of self. Inevitably, when you try to change things you have no control over, it leaves wounds. It leaves a person feeling like something is deeply wrong with them. And we watch Vi go down this spiral. I actually find myself really brokenhearted watching Vi in the first 2 acts, because I think she represents a lot of us: we see pain and devastation around us, but we don't know what the right thing to do is. We try different tactics and try to fix things and are left wondering why things feel worse than how they started.
I think that's something a lot of viewers could benefit to reflect on: I think in watching a show with strong political messaging, we yearn for a message that tells us the answers to these big problems. Truthfully, most of us don't have a fucking clue what we're doing. We want change but don't know how to see it through. That includes the writers. This isn't a show about the solution to political strife. It's about the cycle of violence. It's about not knowing how to change something that's been continuous throughout history in some form.
If we put ourselves in Vi's shoes, it would eventually take a toll on us to try and change something that isn't within our ability to change. Vi can't fix the problems in Zaun. Vi can't change the way time and distance and pain has warped her sister into someone else. In season 2 act 1, she's still trying to take responsibility for things that are outside of her control. She blames herself for the way Jinx has changed and has to tell herself that the only way to fix it is to end the cycle with her own fists. She teams up with Caitlyn because she's convinced herself it's the only way she can help. She sees how violence has devastated not only Zaun but innocents in Piltover as well, and she feels responsible for it.
BUT SHE IS NOT AT FAULT. And she cannot fix it any more than she could have created it.
Perhaps people may feel Vi's arc is lacking because they wanted to see more of her involvement in the revolution of Zaun. They wanted to see her be able to change the situation with her sister and for them to live happily together. But because of the circumstances surrounding both, for Vi to do so, she would inevitably lean into her fatal flaw. She cannot do either of those things without neglecting herself. That's not who she is.
The whole point of a character arc is for someone to be a changed person from beginning to end. If Vi starts out as someone passionate about enacting change to the point of self-destruction, what would a resolution for a character like that look like?
Vi needs to choose herself. Vi needs to release herself of the responsibility of changing the world. She can't do it. There are ways to contribute to positive change that don't involve putting the world on your shoulders, and Vi has yet to put herself first in any situation. Vi choosing love is how she does it.
Amanda Overton, one of the main writers that contributed to Vi's character and the Caitlyn and Vi dynamic and relationship, said about Vi: "If she has no one left to protect, she would fall in love". If Vi finally lets go of this crutch of hers to protect, to fight, to take responsibility for things that aren't her burden to bear, she would fall in love. She would finally be able to choose something for herself.
This is why I find her arc fulfilling. I feel like it's not an arc we really see a lot. It's not every day we have a character that starts out like the classic anime slash marvel protagonist, and instead of being the person that saves the world, they accept they're not a superhero and it's okay to choose love and personal happiness.
If it applies, and you're reading this, I want you to ask yourself: are you perhaps disappointed with her arc because you expected her to be the superhero? And would you be okay with accepting that she isn't and doesn't need to be? That it would be better for her to choose herself?
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poguehearted77 · 2 months ago
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Just Another Cliché
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Summary: Rafe has been asking to take you out for years and you always shoot him down, but after a particularly bad day, you decide things can't get much worse.
<<Here's some fluffy angst for those who need it>>
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Shitty was an understatement for the day you had. This day will go down in history as the worst day any soul has ever lived through.
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me." The murmur is bitter on your tongue as you stuff your hands deeper into your warm pockets. The breath of your words were visible in the crisp winter air as you were about to pass by Rafe Cameron who waited patiently outside of your apartment building with a single rose just like he always did.
Since your senior year of high school, every year on the fourteenth of February, he would wait outside your complex, asking you out, then you say no, then he goes home. That's the tradition.
Well, technically you never said no. You'd always make up some excuse. 'I don't have time for a relationship right now' or 'Now's a bad time' are just a few of the examples you've used over the last five years.
It's not that there was anything wrong with him. You actually did find him attractive. Aside from the sketchy reputation he had going for him back in high school, he was still a relatively nice guy.
You just didn't have the time for a relationship, or at least you didn't before.
A small smile forms on his face as he sees you, already knowing what to expect. Another excuse like "Fine," yup, just as he thought- Wait.
"Say that again?" His head shakes in disbelief, blue eyes bulging slightly. Your shoulders shrug under your heavy-duty winter jacket. "My car was towed, then I lost my job, so why not lose my dignity too? Let's go out." You say and his heart begins to bounce off the confines of his ribs.
Not sure if it was the frosty air nipping at his cheeks or his lifetime wish finally unwrapping before his eyes, his cheeks flushed and he blinked a few times. "You won't regret this, I promise." he holds out the rose for you to take, and you finally do. For the first time in five years. You bite back a scoff, not in the mood for empty promises.
"Why haven't you given up yet?" You ask and now he places his hands in his pockets as a chilling breeze sweeps past you. He's rocking back on his heels slightly, "Life's too short to give up." The tiny smile on his face does make you scoff this time but he moves past it, "I'll text you later," is the last thing he says before he walks off.
You look down at the rose, then at his shrinking figure as he heads for the distance. A little pep in his step and you shook your head, immediately regretting your decision.
Great, this is exactly what you needed, another cliché.
-
Just another cliché is exactly what it was. On the lowest day of your life, you finally gave Rafe a chance. Of course, he changes your life in ways you couldn't imagine and leaves you with a dead weight of regret for not giving in sooner.
Your first date wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it was fun. The two of you were inexperienced skaters failing to skate in the middle of the town square during the heart of winter. With festive lights outlining the rink where you laughed every time one of you fell.
There was even a point in time when you'd both embraced the cold connection with the ice floor and had a deep conversation on the sidelines, watching the other skaters circle the rink.
"Why me?" The question slips out before you can catch it and he licks his lips. He anticipated the query would arise eventually. "You remember that party Hailey Vanderbilt threw back in senior year?"
You hum with a nod, that was a party you'll never forget. Pool toys ended up in the trees, broken windows, jello in the hot tub, fights in the front yard and gambling in the back. "You and a few of the girls were playing truth or dare and they had dared you to start a rumour that I'd shaved my head because my family had joined some cult or some shit."
It took you a second, but the memory came back to you. "You don't know this, but I was fucking wasted behind the couch, but I'll never forget the way you stood up for me to them and refused to do it, and I dunno, I jus' think that was really cool of you." His head turns to you, his gaze softening when he looks at you.
At that moment, you felt the butterflies flap around in your stomach for the first time. He clears his throat, expression becoming more sombre as he continues. "My mom," He starts, taking a difficult swallow to get the words out.
"She was really sick. I got caught up with the wrong crowd to deal with it. Doing anything people said would get me distracted, even for a little, but she got worse and me being high every day didn't help so I quit. Her chemo was taking everything from her and eventually, she just shaved it off, she hated looking in the mirror and it killed me."
Your chest tightened at the story, having a sneaking suspicion of where this was going, "So when you shaved your head..." You trail off and Rafe nods along, turning away from you as a stray tear falls. "It was for her. You sticking up for me meant so much more than you know."
So there you both sat, on the ice with your backs against the wall in silence while the faint Christmas music chimed in the background. The date had taken a sad turn but you're glad it did, it sparked the beginning of your forever-evolving bond.
That was only the first date of many. Dozens and dozens of dates had flown past you and with each one you hated yourself a little more for letting him stand outside of your complex for five years rather than invite him inside.
"This is a nice place." He compliments as he takes a look around before settling himself on the couch with you beside him. "Thanks, it used to be a lot nicer when I could afford it. Had to sell some stuff to keep it after I lost my job."
He chuckles, "That explains why we're facing a blank wall and no television." and you pinch him. "Sacrifices had to be made. Who needs a TV anyways when there's so many other things we could do to keep ourselves busy." Your wandering hand gently runs down his firm thigh and you can feel the muscles in his leg tighten.
This was unchartered territory for you. You'd been dating for almost three months now and have never been intimate in that way, but Rafe knew the kind of person you were. A perfectionist, you need to be sure of everything before you try it.
Based on how fervently you were currently kissing along the length of his neck he could assume he had a pretty good idea of where your head was at. "Baby, baby--" He struggles to keep you at bay so he can lock eyes with you. "Are you sure about this? We don't have-" You silence him with the passionate attack of your lips against his.
Nearly tackling him onto his back, your hips straddling his as you demonstrated your certainty to him.
-
The months went on and sleepovers became more frequent. Even when Rafe had that tired look in his eye which was more often these days, you kept him up with your bright eyes and wide smile as you explained to him the newest conspiracy that intrigued you.
He tried his best to listen to what you were saying but he'd often lose himself in the labyrinth of his own mind. You were just so cute when you were talking about what you were passionate about. Especially when you wore the glasses you cursed so much, opting for contacts during the day.
"Why don't you wear your glasses more often?" He asks and you frown, "Rafee, did you hear anything I just said?" He nods, "Of course I did. I heard every last word.... up until about five minutes ago." You whine and he hugs you tight as an apology, placing a sweet kiss on your forehead.
You couldn't stay mad at him. That was proven time and time again when even your biggest fights would be resolved within 24 hours. Rafe insisted on talking things out, no matter how hurt the both of you may feel. He never wanted to go to sleep without making things right. "Life's too short," He would say.
You both had your shortcomings, but that goes without saying. Rafe was short-tempered and you were stubborn, a bad combination for an opinionated conversation. Things can quickly spiral out of control but when it came to apologies, Rafe outdid you every time. Flowers, or a small gift to show his feelings.
Even now, as Rafe leant against your kitchen island as you transferred the flowers he'd gifted you 'just because'. A weak smile graced his lips as he noted the way you did everything with such intensity, putting your all into everything you did.
Leaning forward onto his crossed forearms he watches you. "You're staring, babe." You say and he can only hum. "Can't help it. I like what I see," His words elicit a soft warmth to radiate in your chest.
"I love you, y'know that?" You're startled as you feel his arms wrapping around your waist from behind. "You tell me only every day, Rafe." He comes down to peck your cheek before you're rotating in his hold to face him. "But I love you too." You're unable to contain your smile as you say it.
It wasn't the first time but every time the words left your mouth, it gave you a little bubbly feeling. Security blossomed within you anytime your eyes grazed over his features.
"Let's go out tonight, yeah? Let's go dancing." Rafe declares without thinking and you laugh, tilting your head to look at the time over the stove. "It's almost midnight, nothing's open at this hour." You reason, but he doesn't back down.
Holding you by the hand, he twirls you. "Not a problem, we'll just do it here." That night your apartment was filled with laughter and soft jazz. Rafe hardly ever had this much energy so late but you loved it.
Two days after that night of dancing, you woke up to an eerie silence that felt too heavy for the morning. You went about your routine, still buoyed by the memory of Rafe's laughter filling your apartment. You checked your phone—just the usual notifications, a missed call from an unknown number, and a message from Sarah that simply said, "Call me."
You barely had time to press dial before she picked up, her voice trembling. She tried to speak, but only the sound of soft, choked sobs came through. Finally, she managed, "I’m so sorry…"
The words hit you, but you didn’t understand them. You wanted her to stop, to say something else—anything else. She kept speaking, her words blurred and distant, as though you were underwater, drowning. Somewhere in her explanation, you heard the words, "peacefully… in his sleep." But it didn’t feel peaceful. Your mind raced, demanding answers. Why hadn’t he told you? How long had he known?
Over the days that followed, Rafe's family gently filled in the pieces: he’d been sick for years, silently enduring, doing everything he could to hide it. Every date, every moment spent laughing with you, was a deliberate choice he made to live his last days fully, in love and joy, with you.
He hadn’t wanted you to know because he couldn't bear to see you suffer for him the same way he was once familiar with in his senior year. Even in the end, he kept the truth locked away, shielding you from the loss he knew was coming.
The weight of his choice tore you apart. You wanted to be angry, to hate him for leaving you out, but in his silence, there was also a strange kind of love. A love that had given you a few precious, unburdened moments together. Still, the pain settled deep within you, refusing to ease.
The anger, hurt, and ache became constant companions in the days that followed. But in his absence, you began to understand just how much he’d given for you.
He'd shared with you how hard it was for him to deal with that eerie state of loss. The stage where the person isn't gone but you know you'll lose them. It alters you in a messed up kind of way and he wanted you as far from that reality as possible. He was protecting you from his own condition till the very end.
Helping his family to clear out his apartment was easily the hardest thing you'd ever done. You couldn't do it without tearing up with every belonging of his you touched.
His favourite hoodie that he never let you wear but loved when you did. The polaroids in his drawer that you took from your first date, taken from the floor of the ice rink.
You noticed he'd scribbled writing on the back of the photo.
She finally said yes.
That was all it took. The last bits of your composure were stolen from you and you wept on his bedroom floor. Everyone always told you it would get easier but it never did. How could things get easier when the other half of your heart was buried six feet below the ground?
You learned to live with the loss, forcing a smile when in the company of others and taking deep breaths every morning when you woke up. Mildly disappointed the realm beyond the living hadn't reaped you during your slumber.
Very slowly, you begin to adjust to this new reality. It’s not the life you imagined, but you learn to live with the loss, carrying him with you in the smallest, most tender ways. His favourite hoodie becomes your comfort on cold nights, wrapping you in his memory and his scent.
Just because he was gone doesn't mean you'd end all of your traditions. Each year on the fourteenth of February, you visit his grave, placing a single red rose on the stone as a quiet tribute.
Though the ache remains, you hold his spirit close, carrying him forward into every milestone and memory yet to come, honouring the love you shared while finding the strength to continue onward.
In some ways, your love story turned out to be just another cliché—until it ripped your heart out from your chest, leaving you with the unbearable ache of everything he left unsaid, every unfulfilled promise, and the haunting silence of a future that will always belong to him.
Somehow, even in the quietest, most heart-wrenching moments, you never gave up on finding the silver lining, because life’s too short.
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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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wishful-seeker · 1 year ago
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Tips on how to avoid being unintentionally ableist
1. When a disabled person says they cannot do something, and you wish to offer solutions, do not make a solution that involves them powering through pain, or something thats not accessible to the disabled.
Example:
Disabled person: "washing dishes hurts too much and i cannot do it."
Abled person: "what if you did one dish at a time throughout the day?"
This statement is not respecting that this disabled person just said they "can't". Always respect that. No matter how simple the task would be for you.
Disabled person:" i think ill use plastic silverware so i don't make dishes."
Abled person: "plastic is bad for the environment!"
This statement shuts down the most accessible and disabled friendly option that this disabled person can actually do because of the abled persons personal beliefs. This is not helpful, and ableist.
Better yet, instead of offering solutions, ask them directly "is there anything you need that you do not have that would help you do this?" This allows the disabled person to think about what would work, and they will always have a better idea of what would work than you do.
To add on to this, when we say we have no more energy to solve a problem or do a task, or change our lifestyle, we mean it.
2. If you feel discomfort when a disabled person is talking about their health, good and bad, that is ableist. Your discomfort is coming from a place that deams disabled peoples very existence as a bad thing and you need to fix that.
For example:
Disabled person:" this week has been rough pain wise, ive been through a lot, felt like my body was on fire. Lucky i got new meds though and i think they're helping!"
Abled person: "can we talk about something else, this is a bummer."
Disabled people should be able to exist freely without worrying about your personal comfort. Do you really think its appropriate to tell someone in constant pain that their life is making YOU uncomfortable?
3. Do not treat disabled people as tragedies, do not romanticize their old life or put their current one down.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah my life is pretty difficult sometimes, ive lost a lot but i still have happy moments."
Abled person: "it makes me so sad to see what disabled people go through :(. You used to love rock climbing and running, i would love to see you move around more again."
This statement is putting more value on the disabled persons abled past, and ignoring their life as a whole.
4. Do not avoid speaking to disabled people because it hurts to see your loved one disabled.
For example: my grandmother avoids conversations with me because it hurts her to see me in pain. While she has good intentions it leaves me being unable to be close to her. This is very isolating to the disabled.
5. Do not stop inviting your disabled friend/loved one out even if they are never well enough to attend. Unless we specifically ask you to stop asking if we can go out, good chances are we want to know you still care because again, disability is very isolating.
6. When a disabled person says certain things in their health have gotten better or worse, do not challenge this because you don't see a difference.
For example:
Disabled person: "yeah things are getting a little better"
Abled person sees disabled person using their wheelchair like usual: "i thought you said you were getting better?"
Better and worse are usually small changes only the disabled experience, its not like abled people healing from a broken arm. Better to a disabled person could mean they can stand for 10 more minutes.
7. Do not expect disabled people to ever be abled again, and again, do not put more value on an abled life.
For example:
Disabled person:"I have been using a wheelchair for 2 years."
Abled person: "oh you're young, im sure you'll be walking around in no time!"
This statement invalidates and ignores the disabled persons current life by hoping they get a more abled bodied life. Its fine to hope disabled people get better, but you don't get to decide what better looks like.
Hope this helps, stay punk.
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rosenclaws · 1 month ago
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Congratulations on the 600 followers!!!
Can I request a smut/NSFW drabble.. I'm thinking worst logan..
Neighbour(?) Reader got asked out as a joke and he finds her upset.. (plus size if possible if not no worriessss!!!!)
Love your work!!
And congrats again on all the followers that's AMAZING!!
warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, fem!reader, plus sized!reader, oral (f!receiving), dirty talk, logan low key has a thigh kink, pet names (princess and pretty girl)
600 follower drabble masterlist
wc: 1.3k
a/n: Worst logan my love. Also this is my first time writing explicitly plus sized so please let me know if I need to change anything!! I hope you like it <33 Also this turned into way more than a drabble lol.
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Men really were the fucking worst. Actually the fucking worst. What reason could someone have to do something so cruel? For a joke? A laugh? To hurt someone so badly just for fun? You sat at the damn restaurant for an hour checking your phone.
When you finally did get ahold of that asshole he just laughed at you. Told you it was a joke, that he'd never seriously be into someone like you. Your eyes welled with tears but you refused to let them fall in public. God, you can still feel the stares of people around you. The whispers.
How sad, that poor girl.
Did you see her check her phone over and over again?
Don't stare, she probably already feels bad enough...
Their words stung more than that assholes. You aren't stupid, you know that you aren't stereotypically attractive. You don't match the girls in magazines.
But that doesn't mean you don't deserve basic human respect. You didn't even like the guy, in fact, based on his horrible personality you were really doing him a favor.
You angrily stomped up the stairs and through the hallway. You should feel bad about the noise but you just can't bring yourself to care. You slam your door closed and toss your things onto your couch. A knock on the door almost makes you scream. Whoever it was needs to take the hint.
"What." You say as you rip open your door.
"Oh. It's you." You say flatly.
Any other time you'd be thrilled to see your hot neighbor at your door but right now it felt like another reminder of your failed love life.
"What crawled up your ass? Could hear you muttering a mile away." He asks and you roll your eyes.
"Brought you a peace offering." He holds up a bottle of wine and you decide to let him in.
"You're a man Logan. Why are men such shallow assholes?" You take another sip.
"Date gone bad princess?"
"I wouldn't even call it a date." You swirl your drink around in the glass.
To admit what really happened feels embarrassing. Especially to Logan. You had a massive crush on the man. That started the minute you met him. Your nice but weird neighbor Wade introduced the two of you one night. The second you looked into those gorgeous eyes and shook his big hands it was over.
"Hello? You still there?" Logan waves his hand in front of your face and you snap out of your thoughts. Deciding this day couldn't get any worse so you might as well just tell him.
"I got stood up. Turns out he asked me out as a joke."
"What a fucking dick." Logan growls. His hand tightened around the beer can in his hand.
"He said he'd never be into someone like me." You say with a huff. Drinking the last of your wine.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"
“Come on Logan, you’re a million years old you know what I’m talking about.” You gesture to yourself and it seems to click in his head.
“So what? Who fucking cares about that.” The can crushes under his intense grip the longer he thinks about it. You pour yourself more wine before answering him.
“Apparently, most people do.” 
“Well, he’s an idiot. Anyone would be lucky to have you.” He sees you brush him off and it bothers him. He’s not the kind of guy to lie to make you feel better. So why you don’t believe him is beyond him. He sees things as they are.
“I know a beautiful woman when I see one princess.” He smirks as he inches closer to you.
You’ve been the subject of Logan’s wet dreams for a while now. Your sweet laugh and pretty face. The sinful things he’s thought about. He’d feel ashamed but he knows you’ve got the hots for him too. Your staring isn’t as subtle as you think. Plus his super hearing allows for him to pick up on your more…intimate moments. He doesn’t mean to hear them, but he does.
“Logan…” Your breath catches in your throat as he cages you into the couch. His strong arms are on full display for you as you shrink into the couch. He’s got this feral grin on his face that both excites you and makes you nervous.
“Only boys can’t see past that bullshit. I’m a man. A man who knows how to please a woman like you.” He purrs.
Are you dreaming? Is this really happening? His knee nudges its way between your legs. The rough material of his jeans rubs against your panties. The friction makes you squirm.
“You gonna let me make you feel good pretty girl?” He whispers in your ear. His hand slips under your dress, fingers brushing over your clothed cunt. Teasing your skin with his touch.
“Please fuck!” You gasp as you claw at his shirt.
He reaches and tears it to shreds. Your mouth waters as you see his back muscles stretching and bulging, free of any clothing to hide him away. He’s a man on a mission as he lifts your dress up. His massive shoulders push your legs apart. You couldn’t close them even if you wanted to, which you don’t. He pulls your panties to the side and licks his lips.
“Just know she’s ripe and sweet. All for me.” His claws peek out and your heartbeat quickens as the sharp metal cuts through the fabric of your underwear.
“There we go.” He throws the scraps to the side and wraps his arms around your thighs. Hands digging into your soft skin. He squeezes your thighs and you hear a low purr coming from his throat.
“Fuck!” You moan as Logan buries his face in your pussy. There’s no holding back as he laps like an animal feasting on its favorite treat.
“So fucking sweet, god bury me in these thighs.” He mumbles.
His brain fogs with pleasure as he buries his tongue as far as it will go. You’re trapped in feeling his every torturous move. His grip is bruisingly delicious.
“Logan logan fuck don’t stop!” You tug hard on his hair as you grind your hips against his mouth. You’re losing it in pleasure as his tongue flicks across your clit.
“That’s what I’m fucking talking about.” He lifts his head, eyes clouded with lust as he tilts his head back. Savoring the taste of you as he prepares to dive back in. He’d die a happy man just to be suffocated between your beautiful thighs.
“Stupid fucking boys, you don’t need them right pretty girl? Not when you have me. I’ll make you come so hard you’ll never think of anyone else again.” You nod along to whatever he is saying.
Your head is up in the clouds as he sucks on your clit. Determined to make you scream his name. His wish is granted as he relentlessly plays toys with your clit. His tongue works magic as he brings your orgasm crashing down.
“Logan!” Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you lose yourself in pleasure.
Your senses muddle together as whimpers tumble from your lips, body buzzing with a warm and fuzzy feeling. It doesn’t last long as Logan refuses to let up. Working you into overstimulation until you’re pushing his head away weakly.
“Too much for you?” He licks his lips, a cocky smile on his face.
“No, I just. Need a break.” You say breathlessly as you try and control your breathing.
Your eyes travel down his chest. Admiring his muscles and stupidly attractive arms. His cock is straining in his pants. You let out a small yelp as he picks you up effortlessly.
Man, you love his mutant strength. Logan gently places you on your bed. He toys with your dress as he resists the urge to rip it apart.
“What was that guy's name again?” He asks as he unbuckles his belt. You open your mouth to answer but he cuts you off. He didn’t want an answer anyway.
“Doesn’t matter, You won’t remember it by the time I’m done with you.” 
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mariclerc · 5 months ago
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What about Charles dreaming about the reader cheating on him? And him being all clingy about it
Thank you so much for this request, I found it so interesting and funny. I hope you like thisss 😋😋
A driver nightmare | cl16
Summary: when Charles dreams about you and it's not usually something pleasant for the both of you. Warnings: fluff, slightly possessive Charles and a little bit of angst.
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You and Charles have been dating for a couple of years, and although people sometimes say that it is suffocating to date someone for such a long time, for the two of you it is not like that since you always find something new about each other and end up falling in love over and over again. And it's a nice thing because there are quite strong feelings between the two of you.
But lately Charles has been a bit scattered, so to speak, and you have no idea why is that behavior coming...
So, one night Charles lies asleep next to you, your breathing is even and deep.
“Another night, another nightmare, great...” Charles says as he sighs softly.
He stirs in his sleep, his brow furrowed... The dream is vivid and so painful. You are there, his love, his world, his princess, his whole life, is with another man... The laughter, intimacy - things that should be reserved only for the two of you, are being shared with someone else. A cold sweat breaks out on his forehead.
He jolts awake, heart pounding. His eyes dart around the room, searching for any sign of disturbance. He finds you there sleeping peacefully, with a serene and angelic face; relief washes over him, but the lingering dread from the dream is a heavy weight on his chest.
Lately he's had a couple of nightmares about you with someone else, and no matter how much he tries to get answers about it, it's all in vain since it's just a nightmare, that's just it... The thing is, to him, everything feels so real and vivid that he actually swears you're not by his side at the moment.
He whispers. “Oh no... It's getting worse.”
He lies there, staring at the ceiling, trying to shake off the nightmare, his mind races over and over. He knows it's irrational because you would never do this to him. But the images are so real that it hurts him a lot.
***
Morning comes, a sliver of light peeking through the curtains. You stir in bed, stretch, and smile softly at him.
“Good morning, sleepyhead!” you smiled at his sleeping form. Your voice is soft and melodic, the sunlight catches your eyes, making them sparkle.
“Morning darling.” he says, his voice is rough with sleep, but he forces a smile for you.
You sigh a little bit. “You seem so tired cha. Another nightmare?” you reached out to stroke his hair.
He nodded. “Just a tiny bit baby, but it's nothing to worry about.”
He pulls you closer, burying his face in your hair, the scent of your shampoo is comforting. For a moment, the fear and anxiety fades away.
“You know you can talk to me, right? About anything, okay?” you say softly at him.
“I know sweetheart, I know.” he sighs. “It's just... It's a little complicated.”
He squeezes your hand, trying to reassure himself as much as you.
***
The days pass and Charles continues to be plagued by nightmares at night time. All nightmares are different but there is one thing in common: you are with another person. He becomes increasingly withdrawn, his usually cheerful demeanor replaced by a shadow of doubt.
“Fuck, I’m losing my mind.” he whispered softly while grabbing his hair.
So, one afternoon, as you two cuddle on the couch, you can notice the subtle change in him.
“Charles, I know something's wrong. You’ve been a little distant.” You say in a whisper as you stroke his hair. “And I don't know if I've done anything wrong.”
Charles freezes, his heart pounding... You doing something bad? That is impossible for him, but he can't help but feel guilty.
“You doing something bad? Honey, that's impossible! How are you going to do something bad if you are such a princess? Everything's fine, love, seriously... Just a bit stressed with work, that's all.” he says softly.
You looked at him, your eyes filled with concern for him. “You can't lie to me, Charles. I know you better than that, I know something's bothering you.” you say with a soft voice.
***
A couple of days later, the sunlight streams through the kitchen window, casting a warm glow over the room. The soft clinking of utensils can be heard as you move gracefully around the kitchen, preparing breakfast.
Charles enters, his hair ruffled from sleep, for you he looks so good, and he yawns widely. He stretches, his eyes still half-closed, and then pads over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind.
“Good morning, beautiful! What are you making that smells so so good?” he says while kissing your cheek.
You smile, leaning back into his warm embrace. “Morning, sleepyhead. I'm just making pancakes! Nothing serious.” you giggled.
Charles tightens his grip, his chin resting on your shoulder.
“You're the best chérie.”
He nuzzles your neck, his breath tickling your skin. You giggled, turning around to face him.
“Stop it silly, you’re going to make me spill the batter!”
Charles grins, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
“I like watching you cook. You look so... domestic and cute.” he whispered.
You rolled your eyes playfully. ”Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
He shrugs. “I guess so silly bean.”
He pulls you into a tight hug, his possessiveness momentarily surfacing.
“You’re mine, you know?”
You laugh softly, your heart melting at his affection. “I know my love, I know.”
Charles kisses your forehead, a tender gesture that speaks volumes.
Later that day, you and Charles are curled up on the couch, a comfortable silence between the two of you.
Suddenly Charles let out a long sigh. “I’ve been meaning to tell you something.”
You looked at him, your expression concerned. “What’s wrong, baby love?” you asked him.
Charles takes a deep breath.
“Well... I've been having these… nightmares... About you.”
Your heart skips a beat. “Nightmares? About me?” you asked again and he nodded.
“Yeah... And it's something stupid, I know. But they’ve been getting worse because I see you with someone else. And it’s... it’s horrible, it feels horrible.” he finally confesses and he looks down, his voice barely a whisper.
“Oh, Charlie...” you reached out to take his hand. “It’s just a dream, baby. It doesn’t mean anything! Look, I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere, okay?”
Charles looks up, searching your eyes for reassurance.
“I know, I know... But it’s been making me so crazy. I’m so sorry if I’ve been acting weird this couple of weeks.” he whispered and you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around him.
“Baby... You’re not acting weird, you’re just scared. And that’s okay! I’m here for you, always, okay?” you say while caressing his back.
Charles nods, relief washing over him.
He sighed and smiled at you. “I love you amour.”
“I love you too, more than words can say.”
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mintmatcha · 2 months ago
Note
In the future when they meet again, does sero ever find a way to make amends? Does he explain what he was going through?
He enters the room with your name on his lips.
You still push up your glasses the same way you always did - your palms on the bottom of the frames- and Sero kicks himself for not seeing it earlier. You've changed, of course. Ten years have passed, but your eyes are the same. The downward curve of your lips and the round of your nose: it's all unmistakably you. When you push away from your desk, it's with a confidence you never had back then, and it almost makes him smile.
"Who told you it was me?" you ask. "Eijiro?"
"No," he says. "I remembered all on my own."
It's only a half lie. Bakugo had called you Cram School and the memories had flooded back. The late night anime sessions, the whispered confessions-
The way he ghosted out of your life without warning.
"What do you want, Sero?" you sigh. "How did you even find me?"
Sero had called for a couple favors to track you down. Luckily, you worked with Uraraka's organization now, as a therapist. All those nights at cram school really did work out; you're a doctor, apparently.
"I just-" He breathes in to center himself, hands jammed in his pockets. "I wanted to say I'm sorry. For just--"
"Leaving me?"
"Yeah." The takes that blow in stride, despite the sting. "For disappearing on you."
"Okay." You lean back in your chair, legs crossed. "I don't forgive you."
"Good. Right. Yeah." That hurts worse. "You shouldn't."
You sit there, hands folded, in silence, watching from over your glasses in silence. He wonders when you got so serious, how you lost that sparkle in your eye. Then, he wonders if he even has the right to know.
"I was a fucked up kid, I was going through a lot." Sero steps forward. "My dad was really -"
You interject. "Sorry, I don't offer therapy for anyone over the age of eighteen. Try Dr. Yun down the hall."
Fuck. God, you're witty. You always manage to steal the wind from his sails with a single cut.
"I'm not trying to-" He huffs, trying to remember to advice his actual therapist gave him. "I just want things to be right between us."
"To make yourself feel better?"
"No, because it's the right thing to do when you hurt someone."
This time, you're the one left silent. Your expression goes softer, wider, like you're genuinely surprised.
"I don't need you to forgive me. I don't think you should forgive me," Sero says. "I just want you to be okay."
He takes a half step in, then a full. Then you don't kick him out, he goes directly to your desk.
"Here. I got this for you. Back in high school." He places a little box in front of you, its label faded and partially ripped from time. "I messed up before I had the chance to give it to you."
It takes you a moment to process what's in front of you. It's a little pink figure, maybe a little less than pristine, but still standing there, arms splayed. The sure look on your face starts to drift, falling down, down-
"She's your favorite, right?" Sero urges.
Your expression doesn't get better. No, you look seasick, your legs suddenly untucked and your arms gripping your stomach.
"She's-" he falters. "You like Flora, I thought, was I-?"
"Get out of my office." Your voice is softer now too, closer to what he remembers.
"I thought you'd like it."
"Get out."
He backs up a step, hoping you'll change your mind. When you don't, he retreats down the hall, unsure of whether he did something right or not.
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jessnotfoundd · 3 months ago
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Friends- Lando Norris (Mirror Sex)
20! KINKTOBER! MINORS DNI
Remember this contains sexual descriptions, nudity, and intercourse.
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Lando and I had been friends since kids, until last year, when he needed to get married to someone quickly because of his mafia business. We lived in a huge property in Monaco but I am always used to being alone. I was ready for bed when a loud bang caught my attention. I run in its direction. The kitchen.
He was standing there, with cuts and bruises on his face.
"What happened?" I ask completely worriedly, he wasn't one to take hits.
"Got to sleep" his tone is cold, like always.
"Lan" I whisper, walking to him. Avoiding eye contact he washes his cuts in the sink, splashing his face with cold water.
"Like I said, go to bed," He says in the same emotionless tone. But I stubbornly step closer to him. "Why are you coming closer?" he looks at me over his shoulder.
"I want to check on you... please" I whisper, still worried about his cuts' deepness.
He lets out a heavy sigh "It's nothing... I'm fine" I take the cloth he's holding, my eyes maintaining eye contact with him. "I'm truly fine, I don't need your help" he mutters.
"I know, but still" I start to work on his cuts "Let me" I smile weakly.
"You're so damn stubborn" Grumbling under his breath he finally gives in, letting me work on his cuts, resting his waist against the counter.
I pay attention to his face, seems like he doesn't feel any hurt from the cuts at all. His stare is fixed on me as I take care of him.
"Yep, I am" I smirk. "You don't have to act like you're not hurting...not with me" I turn his face to the side.
"Hmph" mumbles and stays quiet as I continue to take care of him.
I take his eyes on me, I knew he was trying to suppress his vulnerability. He clears his throat, trying to regain his composure.
"You don't have to be so gentle. I've had worse" He tries to sound nonchalant, but deep down he appreciates my concern, even though he would never admit it.
"Just because you had worse before, doesn't mean you have to be rough" I stop for a minute to look at him.
"I've got a reputation to maintain... you know" He says, half-jokingly, the corner of his mouth curving up in the smallest smile possible.
"Not with me" I go back to clean the last cuts and dry blood.
He raises an eyebrow, his eyes locking onto mine. "Oh really? you think it's easy to let my guard down around you just because you're my wife?"
"I mean, it should, we were friends..."
He lets out a humorless laugh.
"I've spent my entire life hiding behind walls. Letting my guard down is not something I'm used to doing, especially not around you... you know a lot"
"Especially not around me," I repeat. "Woah"
He could tell that hurt.
"I didn't mean it like that, it's just ... you make me feel things I'm not used to feeling... it's " He looks away. "Uncomfortable"
"I know... but I could be your walls, you can rely on me"
He moves his eyes and I can see the relief and vulnerability at my words. Knowing he might be feeling the necessity of pulling me away, but I also knew I was carving my way through his heart.
"You don't know what you're saying" He sighs.
"I know exactly what I'm saying"
"It's not that simple. Letting someone in means I'd have to be vulnerable, and I have enemies all around me... I can't afford to be vulnerable" he speaks his mind.
I hold his cheeks "You don't have to be tough all the time."
"I've been tough my whole life. I can't just change that, even for the sake of being vulnerable with you" He takes a few deep breaths, trying to keep his emotions in check. "you're making this hard for me, you know that?" He lets out another deep sigh. "God, you have no idea the power you have over me" He murmured quietly.
"I do?" I smile, knowing I have made my way.
He nods slightly, his eyes still locked on mine. "Yes, you do. You can make me feel things I thought I was incapable of feeling. You challenge all the walls I’ve built up over the years, and you make me want to tear them all down for you. It’s both maddening and terrifying at the same time"
I kiss the tip of his nose.
"Why do you have to be so damn gentle?" he whispers.
"Just with you" I whisper back.
I feel his facial expression soften under my touch, Even though he's always portrayed as cold and aloof, knowing the effect I have on him. He gently grabs my wrist, leaving my hands still on his cheeks.
"You're such a bad influence on me, you know that?" His tone is half serious, half teasing.
"Oh, since we were fifteen" I joke and he lets out a low laugh, shaking his head in disbelief.
"You seem positively gleeful about it too. My little troublemaker" He squeezes my wrists lightly. Keeping his hold on me. He steps closer to me, closing the distance between our bodies. "You shouldn't have this much power over me..." He whispers and closes his eyes for a few seconds. "Why can't I resist you?" He murmurs, his voice laced with both frustration and longing.
"Well, I think it's because of how pretty I am," I say and he laughs lowly, opening his eyes, meeting my gaze again.
"Well it's certainly not because of your modesty" He jokes with a smile.
"Or maybe you can't resist me because of the way I do your favorite foods, or I take care of your wounds." I list and he raises an eyebrow.
"Oh, so you think you've won me over with your cooking skills and your nursing abilities? just feeding and patching me up like a lost puppy?" he chuckles, trying to brush off the sincerity of your words.
"The way I take your cock" I whisper and see him choking on his breath, clearly not expecting me to say something so boldly. He looks away for a moment.
"You can't just blurt something like that out," he says, his voice slightly hoarse.
"How I take your backshots" I continue listing, a light blush on display on my face.
He groans, his eyes closing as your words continue to affect him. He's starting to lose his grip on his own self-control.
"Jesus Christ" he curses under his breath, not able to focus on anything but the images of my words planted on his head. He opens his eyes, his gaze locking onto mine. "you're trying to kill me, aren't you? driving me insane with those filthy words of yours"
He moves his hands from my wrist to my hips pressing me against him.
"I'm just listing why you can't resist me" I smirk.
He growls. "Well. your listing is not helping your case. If you keep going, I won't be able to hold back any longer" he says through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, what do you have in mind?"
He hesitates for a moment, and I sense his eyes roaming over my face and body.
"You really want to know what I have in mind?" He asks, his voice thick with desire.
"Maybe I can tell you what I have in mind" I whisper closer to his ear.
I feel the shiver that goes over his body as he feels my breath against his ear. "And what do you have in mind, princess?" he asks, his fingers digging into the flesh of my hips.
"Remember that big mirror I made install in front of the bed? the large one..." I hint, hoping he knows what I'm implying.
"Oh, the large mirror," he says with a sly smirk slowly spreading across his face. Knowing exactly what I'm implying. "You're playing a dangerous game here, you know that? Teasing me like this, whispering your dirty thoughts in my ear"
I hold his hand. intertwining our hands, walking him to our room. Once we are in the room, I make him sit on the bed, untying the strips of my bed dress and he holds my now just in underwear-covered hips.
"You're so damn beautiful" He murmurs under his breath, his eyes darkened with a mix of lust and admiration. He pulls me closer, making me straddle his lap. He ran his hands over my body, feeling the warmth of my skin under his fingers, His eyes roaming over every inch of me. "You drive me insane," He says through gritted teeth, his hands grabbing my ass now.
"I want you to fuck me Lando, I need it."
He groans, his grip on my ass tightening at my blunt words. "Princess you have no idea how much those words make me want to lose control" He murmurs, voice thick with raw hunger.
I kiss him, forcing his back to be on the bed.
He allows me to push him down into the bed, kissing me back fiercely, any remnants of his previous control completely gone now. Both of us are completely consumed by desire.
"Let me show you how proud i am to be yours" I whisper, my eyes on his, so he can see the truth in my words.
"You... you're proud to be mine?" his voice is laced with a hint of vulnerability.
"Always have" I whisper getting rid of his shirt.
He helps me discharging his shirt, his eyes never leaving mine. His hands moved to grip my waist too.
"on the bed" He whispers against my ear and I shiver from head to toe. I do as he says. "Good girl" He can tell I am growing impatient. "Doesn't the princess like to be teased?" He moves his finger from my neck to the waistband of my panties.
"No" I grind against him, trying to keep my composure. "Please Lando" I whisper, growing desperate for him to just touch me everywhere.
"So impatient..." he scatters kisses all over my neck "But since you've asked so nicely" he murmurs, his fingers slowly slipping underneath the fabric of the underwear.
"Please" I arch my back a bit "No teasing..." I hold his shoulders.
"Is that how you ask for something you want, princess?" his fingers now hovering over my folds. "You want me to touch you here?" he smirks and I nod frantically.
He flops me on the bed, my back now on the soft mattress, breaking the kiss to get rid of his clothes, leaving me to enjoy the view of him stripping the suit like he was burning, my hand unconsciously slipping down to my folds where his hand was a few seconds ago.
"What are you doing? he says when he notices my hand replacing the now empty spot. "Such a needy little princess, aren't you?" he smirks "On your fours," he says and I do. "Such a good girl", and seconds later, my panties are ripped out of my body.
He reaches out, his hand grabbing my hips. "I love how desperate you are for me, princess, you're all mine now" he whispers, positioned behind me, teasing my entrance.
"P-please lando" I move my head trying to catch sight of him, but I bury my face in the covers when I feel the sting of his hand against my ass. Making me let out a loud moan.
He grabs my hair in a ponytail and makes me look up. The sight of us in the mirror is arousing. "Look at us," he whispers right to my ear.
He starts to move, and my eyes close in pleasure. His moves are short and slow but hard, I could practically feel the budge on my stomach.
"F-faster" I lift my ass, looking at the reflection in the mirror, our bodies now made all one. He speeds the shots, my back arching.
"Does that feel good, princess?" he smacks my ass again and nod. "Words... I need words."
"Y-yes" I grip the sheets.
He pulls my hair a bit harder. "Look how pretty you look while taking me," he whispers, kissing my back. I want you to make a mess." He's now holding my face in the mirror's direction. "Look how pretty you are taking my cock" he slaps sighty my cheek.
I let out a ragged moan, feeling the heat pooling in my lower belly, knowing I was close.
"I'm c-close," I say, Trying to hold on.
He turns me around, laying me back on the bed again. Missionary this time.
"I want to see you come undone," he smirks, moving his hands to pay attention to my breast, but stops to guide my face to see us in the mirror again. "Look how good you look with me balls buried inside you" I clench around him and he moans.
A few seconds later I release, all over his cock. "La-lando" he keeps moving but I'm too sensitive. He takes his cock out to release on my stomach. I see everything in the reflection in the mirror.
"So pretty, my cum all over your body" he lays down beside me, both of us trying to even our breaths.
After a few minutes he cleans me up and we close our eyes to sleep.
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arminsumi · 2 months ago
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. . . 𝐢 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐢 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭
Geto Suguru
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Regret has haunted Suguru ever since he parted ways with you; he's pining, lost, going mad. It kills him that he's made an enemy out of someone he loved.
► "I know that I ended it... but why didn't you stop me?"
+ Warnings/content: angst, pining, friends to enemies to lovers
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Suguru's deepest regret is that he didn't kiss you before he parted ways. It eats him up more and more every day, like a parasite in his chest, chewing slowly on his muscles down to his bones.
Why didn't I kiss you?
He asks himself this so often — too often, god, he can't catch a break from his own mind, can't stop this regret from gnawing on his ribcage.
But isn't he his own obstacle? He chooses not to get over you. Yes, he actively chooses to not move on. Day after day, Suguru chooses to vividly remember the day he said goodbye to you — it's become his favorite film, he's memorized all the expressions, words, tones and romanticized it to no end.
We were perfectly tragic.
Late spring, flowers on the floor, black night, his tears, his shivering lashes, that quivering voice. Looking into his eyes, you saw that he wasn't prepared to let go.
He was holding onto you. Claws in your flesh.
Maybe that's why he chose to say farewell behind the 7-eleven; it was the place where you and him first met. The story was that both your Jujutsu schools had coincidentally assigned you two to exorcise the same curse; you were confused by Suguru's technique and wrongly went for him, like he was the bad guy — isn't it all so ironic now? You remember how he panted with a smile, like he got a kick out of fighting you, how he explained to you that it was a misunderstanding and that he was on your side. He remembers receiving a hateful look from you; it made his heart tick, leading him to wonder to himself what's wrong with me? I always love women who hate me.
Because of how you met, you and Suguru being 'enemies' was a running joke that carried on through your late teenage years.
Springs passed. Things changed — no, things got worse. Suguru was drowning and no one could see it, not even you, the girl who knew him like the back of her hand.
Suddenly, all those years spent living side by side each other in blissful, oblivious youth converged into a moment of goodbye.
There went by the scent of those falling flowers. Suguru's nerves were at full attention, sharp and prickly all over his skin. Goosebumps. He was jittery, even shaking — a look that you never thought he'd wear, being as cool as he always was.
You told him, "You don't have to be someone you're not just because of me." but he didn't want to hear that. No, he needed to hear something else. He needed to be told "Suguru, no matter what path you take, I'll always love you, deep down inside."
The night breeze chilled him. He stared down at you, eyes full of hurt like you've never seen in a man's eyes before.
Stark neon light from the vending machines painting your features, he didn't miss how your lips quivered. He leaned into you slowly, but then there was a sudden stutter in his movements. Something held him back.
Suguru chickened out from kissing you — that's what it seemed like to you, anyways.
But it was deeper than that. He never opened up about it. He just left. He just went.
. . . 𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐞𝐟𝐭,
and he's still haunted by memories of that night, heart rotting with regret. He can hardly sleep, can hardly eat, can hardly keep any food down — how could he stomach food when he can't even stomach his own choices?
Suguru visits the place where you and him first met.
He trudges through snow in winter, kicks leaves off his path in autumn — leans against the wall where the both of you once stood and just stares at the floor, allowing himself to hurt all over.
But no season makes him hurt quite like spring, when the scent of blooming flowers is so potent and strong that he chokes up.
What would you do if you saw him again?
He's thought so deeply about what he'd say to you that it's become a script; he knows the words by heart.
Why didn't you stop me?
Did you have feelings for me?
Do you hate me?
Please let me kiss you. Just once.
No, he's scratched the last one off his script.
He sighs to himself all the time — all the time. How did he make an enemy out of the one he loved?
A question that plagues his brooding mind is do you still love me even after what I did? He wonders if it's even possible. Sometimes he just settles on the assumption that you and Satoru hold a deep hatred against him.
. . . 𝐟𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮,
your face appears around the corner; he can't mistake it.
Meeting you again after years have passed, though as enemies, makes him feel stilled, like all the chaos stops momentarily.
He doesn't know what to say, or how to act, so he just stays silent and motionless in front of you.
You speak and feelings start to rip him apart. "Suguru, where have you been?"
It's awkward. It's melancholic. The tension between you and Suguru is not just because of the gruesome truth of what violence he committed, nor the betrayal; no, it's more than all that.
He's utterly speechless, holding an unbreaking eye contact with you. Gazing into your eyes after so many years of staring into fuzzy photographs makes him feel giddy like a little kid, despite the severe expression you have.
You talk slowly and carefully to him, almost warily, and it breaks his heart little by little.
"I know we're not allies, but I'm still the same Suguru that you used to spend nights talking to." he quietly reminds you, hurt evident in his voice.
He gazes deeper into your eyes, deeper and deeper until he's dizzy. You hardly know how to respond.
"Suguru," you whisper back, tearing up, "Why did you do it?"
He doesn't respond, completely ignoring this.
"... I still think of you."
"... hey, answer me."
As he comes two steps closer, you back two steps away.
"... and I left so many things unsaid."
"... Suguru, I know, but — "
"... and I should have kissed you before I left." he blurted out.
Shocked, you take a moment to register what he just said.
"Why didn't you?"
"I just didn't want to taint you." he breaths, "I'm too fucked up and you're too sweet for me."
He brings his face closer to you, casting a shadow over your whole body, backing you into the wall. The setting sun peeks out from behind him, the breeze slows.
Suguru looks at you like an adoring, sad puppy. His face is full of all his regret and lust and longing and desperation. You've never seen this look in his eyes before — he's kept everything to himself ever since you met him.
Looking intently at your lips and wetting his own, he begs you softly, "Please, let me kiss you."
You shake your head very slowly, feeling so conflicted.
"Just once? Please, I need it so badly." he admits desperately, and then says your name in the softest tone you've ever heard a man speak in; your name, every letter so special to him, each syllable quivering in the air between your faces.
He's so close you can see every detail in his face; the harrowed eyebags, the sorrow in the wrinkles of his eyes, and flashes of memories in his pupils. Even more than all that, you can see the downturn of his parted mouth.
"I want to," you admit, swallowing sharply, "But I can't."
Lashes fluttering so sorrowfully, Suguru pulls back a little.
It's the same place, the same season, and the same pitiful situation.
There's a small silence in which you feel a madly desperate feeling emanating from Suguru, and then he crashes his lips onto yours so hard that you whimper.
Breathing hard, heart thumping up against his chest, Suguru holds you in place while he presses his wettened lips against you, tilting his head to the side to deepen the kiss.
You quickly surrender to him, and when you reciprocate his kiss — he whimpers. It's so subtle and quiet, but you feel it on your lips and tongue.
Kissing until you both run out of breath, Suguru finally pulls away — plucking little kisses from your lips as he does, like he just can't stop yet.
"I'm so sorry," he apologizes heavily, still keeping close to your face, not ready to let go. "I need you."
You look up into his eyes and he feels shivers going down his back.
"... I won't tell Satoru." you breathe.
His breath catches, and he doesn't hesitate to go in for the next kiss — and the next and the next and the next until you're letting him mark your neck with a harsh hickey.
Of course, you can't spend all day there, you realize after fifteen minutes of making out with your 'enemy'.
"I've got to report back." you tell him, "He's going to get suspicious if I'm out too long."
"Okay," Suguru pulls away, licking his lips and rubbing them together like he's just enjoyed a feast. "Can I see you again?"
"I don't know..." you mutter unsurely, "If Satoru finds out, he's going to — "
"So what?" Suguru feathers, "I don't care what he does, I don't care if I ruin your reputation — I need you in my arms tomorrow."
Your expression spoke volumes.
"Okay, I'll be here tomorrow night." you murmur.
Suguru's guilt hardly affects him as he goes home; your kisses meant everything to him. Your reciprocation and lamb-like weakness in his arms filled him with ecstasy.
He doesn't care that you were his 'enemy' — maybe the taboo makes it feel even better. It's wrong. It's not allowed. And he wants it so bad, he stands with eager anticipation behind the 7-eleven every night, waiting for you.
This place where you two first met, now five years later, has become a spot where you and him make out like teenagers.
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𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬: 𝐀𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐢'𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲
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petew21-blog · 5 months ago
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Revenge possession, part 2
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"So what is this game called again?" I asked out loud with Devon's voice.
Devon in the back of our mind:"Dead by daylight. You play either as a survivor or the killer. Depending on the role you have to escape or kill all the survivors."
I chuckled a bit:"You don't see how that's ironic?"
Devon was silent. "I'm so sorry, man. Jesus, I didn't think this through. Haha. Well... you should be good in this game right?"
Me:"Not really. I kinda didn't even know I was being hunted. Your parents just picked me up and then tortured me in the woods. I didn't have much of a chance to even run."
Devon:"Oh... I'm so sorry for that, man. My parents are horrible people."
Me:"Yeah. And I know they killed much more people than just me. That's why it needs to stop"
Devon:"So are you sure that killing them would be the best revenge for all these years of their murder spree?"
Me:"What else can I do? It's not like I had much of a choice. Few days ago I didn't even have a body. Now I co-share yours. Yeah, stealing their sons body is good revenge too, but you're a good person. And I don't want to take over your life."
Devon:"Not what I was aiming for. I honestly love having you here with me. You're like a second voice/brother/best friend inside of me. Oh shit. I just figured. I keep calling you bro. What's your real name?"
Me:"Paul. Took you long to ask, man. Not cool"
Devon:"Sorry, haha. So... Paul. You're like 40 now, right?"
Me:"I would be if your parents didn't kill me. But I died when I was 21 like you are now. So my mind basically stayed 21 I suppose. Except for roaming the country I didn't have much fun through all these years. These past few days as you, just chilling here, playing video games, jerking off and talking to you is the most fun I had over these 20 years."
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Devon took control over his body to let go of the controler and to flex his biceps. The sweat hitting his nose.
Me:"What are you doing? I thought we were gonna play?"
Devon:"Nah, just reminding you what body you're in"
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Devon:"Look at me man. I have beautiful abs, massive arms. These thighs could crush a melon between them. I appreciate that you picked me and that you like my body, but you gotta do something about this. We gotta go have fun. With another living being."
Me:"Devon... I really am happy how you treat me in your body, but... I don't think we have the same type of dating pool"
Devon:"I don't care whoever you fuck. I'm straight, or atleast I think I am, but very accepting. And if my man inside of me wants to fuck some handsome man, I will be more than happy to help you out. Bros gotta help each other"
Me:"But it's gonna be your body, man."
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Devon:"So? You could do much worse with my body and you didn't. Getting fucked or fucking someone in the ass is not so bad."
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Me:"Ok? So what place do you suggest?"
Devon:"Gym. We can show everyone what this body can do. Lot of people observe me there, so you can pick whoever you desire"
We arrived to the gym. So many hot and sexy people in sight. Devon took control to do his normal routine. It sucks that I could also have a body like this, but back in the day I wanted to see the world. I wanted to be myself in a world that hates my kind. Twenty years later, the world is so much more accepting. It's not ideal, but wow. How things gave changed
I still can't believe that Devon let's me stay in his body. I mean, look at him. He could be anything, have anyone. And yet this hot piece of meat is depressed with his easy life, being alone most of the time. I guess that's what happens when your serial killer parents move your family every now and then. You don't have any friends and those that you did might already be dead by their hand. How horrible... I honestly can't wait to see them. To look them in their face. With their son's face and to kill them. I hope Devon will forgive me. I know he says he wants to stop them, but it's his parents. I just have to make sure that he will not stop me when the time comes
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Devon was just finishing up, when a cute twink approached us.
The guy:"Hey, I hope you don't mind that I was watching you"
Devon:"Nah, it's ok man. You need a hand with lifting?"
The guy smiled. "Oh I do need a hand, I just don't know If I asked the right person"
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Devon sat down, looking all confused:"That depends if..."
I stopped Devon mid sentence. "I think that's a cue for me to take over, ok?"
Devon now in the back of my mind:"Sorry man, I usually don't respond to guys hitting on me. Go on. Have fun"
I smiled at the guy and casually finished the sentence
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We headed to the showers. The owners must be probably sick with all these guys hooking up here. But we didn't care. We made out passionately. The twins was all over my muscles, as I would be in his place too. He was a bit smaller. That gave me a sense of dominating him.
I stopped and smiled at the guy. "I... just gotta let you know that I am a virgin"
Devon:"What!!! Dude, you never had sex with anyone?"
The guy looked at me from top to bottom. "You? If good looking people like you are virgins, then I have no idea how world works."
I chuckled nervously. It was true. I was 21 when I died, but back then it was much harder to date a find gay guy. Now you can just download Grindr and in a few minutes you got yourself a guy in your bedroom
Twink:"Well in that case we can go to your place and have some fun there. This isn't a very nice place to have your first time, don't you think"
I just smiled and nodded in approval
We were now in Devon's messy room. The guy was really shocked to see such a straight man cave, but didn't say a word. We made out. He took off my shirt soaked in sweat from gym. His lips now kissed my neck and went to over my pecs, down the middle to my waist band. He took my hard dick into his hand, squeezed hard and looked me deep into my eyes. His look was so full of lust, yet I could tell it was superficial. This guy isn't looking for romance. He just wants to be fucked hard. So let's give it to him
I took a bit of control of the moment. I grabbed him by the neck. Turned him around and pressed him against the wall. He was now moaning in pleasure as I was rubbing my hard dick hidden beneath the layers of my clothes against his ass. I was still holding him, choking him.
I pulled of my shorts and his just low enough to get my dick in there. I wanted to push it right in there. As hard as I could
Devon suddenly screamed out from the back of his mind:"Condom dude!!!"
I left the guy, moanjng against the wall, reaching out to the condom on the shelf. I was struggling to find which side to pick to put it on my dick
Twink:"Wait. Let me" it was obvious he jas done it a few times. The condor was on in a matters of seconds. "Do you have any lube?"
Devon intervened again:"Top drawer. Give him more attention, man. You're making it all about yourself"
"Shut up" I said out loud as a response to Devon, but the guy looked confused. "Oh sorry, not you. I'm just nervous. I have lube right here."
The guy went on Devon's bed on his back. His clothes were now gone and his ass was welcoming my dick. His legs wide open.
I pressed lightly my dick with a ridiculous ammount of lube on top.
It went smoothly so I tried to went all the way. This seemed to hurt the twins. "Hold your horses. I'm good, but not that good. A bit slower, cowboy."
I went in slowly. The pleasure got to Devon too. The way this guys ass was tight around the head of our dick was sending our minds to heaven.
I picked up the pace. The twink was moaning in pleasure and in pain at the same time. I grabbed him by the next to choke him. My other arm pressing his thigh.
Twink:"Harder!" I thought I was going as hard as possible, but I didn't think he could take it much more
Twink:"Harder!!!"
Devon:"Oh, jesus. Let me do it" Devon took over. I was in the back of our mind again. Still feeling everything.
Devon was like a beast, but the twink was really enjoying it.
I could feel all the cum building up. Ooh there's gonna be tons of cum.
Devon was biting his lower líp and furiously pounding this guy's ass. Sure, "Straight" my ass.
Devon:"I'm cumming!!!"
Twink:"Fill me! I want it all"
Devon shot out the stream of cum into the condom. The wave of pleasure was so overwhelming. So much, that I lost control for a moment. I didn't know what was happening.
I opened my eyes. Still as Devon. Good. But I was back in control. But I was alone here. I couldn't feel Devon
"DEVON?!?"
Twink:"Right here. You pushed my soul out of my body, dude. If the guy here wasn't as welcoming you would have me erased or something"
Me:"I'm so sorry. I didn't think that would happen."
Devon:"It's fine. This guy's soul is asleep or maybe gone? I don't know. But I can't hear him now. Dude! I could feel my body's orgasm and his orgasm at the same time. I can assure you, that this is definitely the best I'll ever feel. So overwhelming."
Me:"Shit, dude. We gotta figure out how to get you put of there. Or you might be stuck"
Devon:"What if we wait for a bit? I kinda wanna try having sex with my body."
Me:"Kinky. You wanna get pounded too?"
Devon:"Guess I'm not so straight anymore, right?"
After our first fucking session, Devon passed out from all the sex. We still didn't know where this guy's soul was, but we would figure that out soon. I was just happy that I was finally alive. And I even have a boyfriend now? If that's what I can call Devon. Not to put labels on our relationship or anything
I grabbed the first pair of shorts from the floor I could find. Still sweaty from the sex, I headed to the kitchen to get myself a drink of water.
I was interrupted by a dark figure in the corner of the room
"Hello, son"
I was full of rage. But I can't fuck it up now. If I kill him, I won't know where his mom is and that would take me another decade to find her.
"Hey, dad. How was your holiday"
"Oh wonderful. Rome is your mother's favourite place to visit"
I tried to act as much as possible. Devon was in his room in a wrong body, so that wouldn't help me.
"Did you go to Colosseum this time?"
"Oh, we sure did." The father responded. But in the matter of seconds his expression changed. He was now holding a gun pointed at me
"What are you doing, dad?!"
"Devon knows we went to Bahamas"
Fuck. So he knew all along that I'm not Devon. But how?
"Me and my wife found out that the folk like you, who want to have your revenge for what we did, come back as ghosts to make our lives a living hell."
"So I'm not the first one?"
"Hahaha. Of course you're not. The first one came when Devon was 2 years old. Of course he doesn't remember, but that was a nasty one. All the paranormal stuff. We didn't know what we were dealing with back then. But now, oh we are used to deal with you. But possessing Devon is a first. Some possessed us and tried to kill us, but obviously failed."
"How can you tell that I'm not him? Besides the question."
"Oh it's an aura thing. Once you have the experience and a good guidance, you can just tell when a soul isn't in their rightful place."
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"Now, tell me. Did Devon put up a lot of fight? Your answer will change the course of your torture."
"Devon is ok. He's in the body of the guy downstairs. It was an accident"
"Sure it was. That would make sure that we couldn't kill you or him, right? We're not so stupid, mister. Although I will not enjoy killing my son, there is no other choice."
"If you kill me, I will go after you even more. I have for the past 20 years and I will even after you die. My soul will not rest until you burn in hell"
"Sure you can do that, but it will take you some time to get out of this thing."
He was holding a wooden object with symbols
"What is that thing?"
"That mister, is your prison. It will bind you inside, until it breaks, or someone opens it on purpose. Which happens rarely if you ask me."
"You're doing a big mistake. Devon is in his room in a different body. Let him atleast get his body back."
"I can't take that chance. Me and my wife have a life to live up to and we won't stop just because our son got himself in some trouble and can't handle it."
"It's your son! You would kill him just so you can continue your killing spree?"
"Oh, definitely. Having a child is a great thing, but taking a life. That's something you won't ever forget about. The control it gives you."
"You're sick. No parent would ever do this to their child"
From the hallway a second voice spoke:"Oh these two are a chatty couple, right honey? So chatty chatty. But we need to hurry up, so get on with this" the mother said towards her husband
I could feel a horrible pain in my chest. Feelings very similar to the ones I felt 20 years ago. This couple was killing me again
"Sorry Devon. We couldn't have done anything" father said
"Devon hates you too!" I screamed out
"You're talking too much" and then nothing.
I don't know for how long this continued. I don't even know what they did with Devon's beautiful body. How they got rid of it.
Soon I started to feel walls around me. Walls? As a ghost I wouldn't be able to. Except if this is their prison that they were talking about.
I opened my eyes. There was only darkness. Nothing else. I looked around and on the other side of my prison was someone sitting, crying.
I got up to approach this person. He looked up
It was Devon. He was crying
"Paul! They killed me. My own mother slit my throat. I told her it's me. But she just killed me and trapped me into thus thing."
"I'm so so sorry, Devon. I never wanted any of this. I wanted revenge for them. But they were ready. They knew. Your father didn't listen to me too. He didn't care. I told him about your soul. But they are more sadistic then I thought"
"Paul, I'm dead. My parents killed me. My OWN PARENTS!"
"Devon, they are horrible people. And we will get our lives back. Maybe not our old lives, but we will. But first we have to get out of here. We're gonna get through this together. Ok?"
Devon collapsed into my arms. I was just glad that I could hold someone even if I was a ghost now. We were gonna get out of here, but I had no idea how
Outside of the ghost trap, the world went by.
Devon's father held the trap tightly as he watched his old house burn. His wife held her head on his shoulder.
"Ahhh, I think I might miss Devon. He gave our life some order"
"He limited us. We couldn't ve ourselves all the time. Now we can. What do you say we go pick up some hitchhiker?"
"Ohhhh, that's a lovely idea. Get rid of that box, it gives me the creeps"
And as the two of them were laughing while leaving, the box was sinking deeply into the river below the bridge until some human would find it.
If Paul and Devon would know what was happening to then right now, they would be devastated.
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woso-dreamzzz · 6 months ago
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Sisters
Irene Paredes x Teen!Reader
Summary: You and your sister's wife
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"You know," You say, voice thick and rough with sleep," My sister will get annoyed if she catches you sleeping in my bed."
"Lucía sent me to get you."
"And you're doing that by getting in bed with me?"
You flutter your eyes open, rolling over until your face to face with your sister in law.
Irene looks down at you, a smile on her face as she reaches out to pinch your cheek.
You squawk at her, swatting her hand away with a little yelp. "Stop it! You're so mean!"
"And you slept past your alarm," Irene reminds you," You need to stop doing that."
"Who are you? My mum?"
Irene grins. "I mean, technically-"
You groan, pulling a pillow over your eyes to block her out.
With your parents failing health and your own dedications at La Masia, they had signed their rights away and transferred your custody to your sister, Lucía.
Irene had put her own name on the paperwork too - something about it running smoother if it was clear it would be a couple taking care of you and not just Lucía.
You feel a poke on your shoulder and you swat blindly at Irene.
"Leave me alone," You say," Why can't you just let me sleep?"
"Because we have training," She replies, continuing to poke you," And you take ages to get ready. You're worse than Mateo."
"Mateo's practically a baby," You say," If he takes long to get ready then it's Lucía's fault."
"What's your excuse then?"
You sit up, shrugging. "It's Lucía's fault. She got me ready as a kid too. She's the reason I take so long."
"Go and get dressed, hermana," Irene says with an eye roll," I'm leaving in ten so if you're not ready by then I'm leaving without you."
"No you won't!" You yell after her.
You don't think she will but you still rush to change just in case.
Irene's stood at the door when you get downstairs, throwing her keys up and down while Lucía bustles around the kitchen with Mateo.
"Kiss your sister goodbye," Irene teases as you scoop up your bag and approach.
You groan. "You're so annoying."
"I don't hear you telling your sister how much you love her."
You make sure to drag your feet all the way over to Lucía, pressing a kiss to her cheek before doing the same with little Mateo.
"Be good at practice," Lucía reminds you," And if Irene gets on your nerves, tell me and I'll keep her in line."
You grin against Lucía's shoulder. "She's not all bad."
"Don't tell her that. She's already got a big head. Don't make it get bigger."
"I'll try."
"Let's go," Irene says, getting a bit impatient and you pull away from your sister.
"You're the one that made me say goodbye."
"Oh? So it's my fault?"
You pretend to think. "Yes. Yes it is."
Irene rolls her eyes fondly as an arm is thrown over your shoulder. "Love you Lucía, love you, Mateo! I promise I won't kill your sister!"
The car ride is an easy one, familiar.
You'd signed your first professional contract with Barcelona in the summer, rising through the ranks of La Masia before taking your place as one of the new centrebacks Barcelona signed for the new season.
"You nervous?" Irene's eyes are on the road as she speaks.
You rolls your eyes and scoff," No."
It's a complete lie and you think Irene knows that because one hand leaves the gearbox to gently rub your shoulder.
It's a little annoying how good she is at doing it while she's driving.
"You're going to do great," She soothes, the same voice she uses when Lucía is anxious and Mateo is crying," It's going to go so well for you. Everyone's friendly and no one is going to make fun of you."
You stare out the window. "You don't know that."
"Tell me if they do." She's gone serious now, pulling into a line of traffic and turning to look at you. "I know you like to solve things yourself but I'm serious. If anyone says anything or they make you uncomfortable, you come and get me."
"I know, Irene," You reply," You've been saying that kind of stuff for years."
She grins at you. "Just making sure you remember. No one is going to be mean to you but just in case."
"You're not going to hover, are you? Because I'll tell Lucía. She says you need to stop that."
"Lucía's not the boss of me."
You both exchange looks before bursting into laughter.
"Yes, she is."
Irene rolls her eyes. "Fine. I won't hover if you tell me if someone's making you uncomfortable. Deal?"
"Deal."
"Good." She looks back the queue in front of her. "Now what do you want from the drive through?
You frown. "Lucía said last night we weren't allowed to get breakfast from the drive through."
Irene winks. "I won't tell if you won't."
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syluss-slut · 4 months ago
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•°•°•Safe Embrace°•°•
Summary: your uterus pulls a fuck you by starting your period early even if you just had one two weeks ago, but your 6'2 boyfie is here to cuddle the pain away.
Pairings: Sylus×Reader ⚡
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, mention of period pain.
A/n: yearning is at an all-time high rn. LIKEYOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I NEED THIS MAN SO BAD HNSGBFBSHDNBHSN
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You walked towards sylus's room in heavy steps. You were even surprised your body could hold on for that long.
Your period took you by surprise, coming back again after not even two weeks. Beauty of womanhood, isn't it? You spoiled your favourite pajama pants because of that and on top of all this, it was a heavy flow. In the middle of a productive week. Could it get any worse?
You knocked on his bedroom door, sylus taking not even a second knock to open it for you. As soon as the door opened, you managed to take one step in and collapsed right after. (Un)surprisingly, you didn't hit the floor, but rather found yourself in sylus' safe embrace, as he caught you just in time.
As he brought you to the bed, you silently start weeping in his chest. Tears run down your face due to the pain you were in.
Alarmed, "what's wrong, kitten?" Sylus enquires, a soft look in his eyes, concern in his voice.
Somehow, it made you cry even more. Your period hormones were driving you crazy.
He sits down on the bed, with you in his arms and now on his lap. One of his hand is on your back, soothing you and the other holds up your chin.
"Talk to me. What is it, sweetie?" He asks, a gentle tone in his voice that you've rarely ever heard him use with anybody other than you.
"Menses" you replied, in a feeble voice through tears.
"You poor thing" sylus thinks to himself.
"Let me get you some painkillers" he says, laying you down. You grab the sleeve of his gray sweater just as he walked out of your reach, making him turn around.
"Stay with me. Please" you croaked.
Wordlessly, sylus slips under the sheets beside you, engulfing you in a hug, making you the smaller spoon.
His large hand is in your hair, massaging slowly, lulling you into sleep.
"Thank you" your voice comes out muffled as you snuggled further into his chest.
With the feeling of being in a safe embrace and under warm sheets, you finally dose off to sleep, the last thing you remember being sylus' lips as he pressed a soft kiss on your forehead.
•°•°•°(⁠っ⁠˘⁠з⁠(⁠˘⁠⌣⁠˘⁠ ⁠)•°•°•°•
When your eyes open, you don't know how much time has passed, but the first thing you acknowledge is the sheets beside you being empty; however they were still warm.
Sylus must have gotten up not so long ago.
Almost as if summoned by your thoughts, you turn to the doorway upon hearing something, and see sylus holding a tray of food.
Your heart melts at his sweet gesture.
"Here. Eat it all and don't forget your meds" he says, placing the tray on your lap.
You decide this isn't enough, "I'm weak all over, feed them to me?" You request, looking at sylus' face to read his expression.
You hear him chuckle, followed by a nod. He picks up the spoon and does as you asked.
The outcome? A few drops of soup spilled on your lap and some of it around your mouth. You smiled at how much effort he was putting into this, which turned into a giggle, which escalated into full-on laughter.
You notice the corner of his lips turn up ever so slightly, and you don't let it slip.
Never in a hundred years did sylus ever see himself taking care of someone, let alone make them feel so safe as to be vulnerable around him. Truly, you changed his life, for the better.
You wiped your mouth clean and didnt forget the painkillers, obviously.
"Rest. I called you in sick for tomorrow" Fuck. You felt like crying again. How can this man perceive himself as 'evil' or whatever the society labels him as? He's just a sensitive soul forced to harden up.
"You know my heart never truly rests without you beside me" you confess, Patting the space beside you, lifting the comforter for him to slip into.
You lay down, and so does he. The soft moonlight in the now dim room fell on his flawless face, it somehow made him look even prettier.
Silver light on his silver hair. You couldn't possibly resist the urge to pet his fluffy hair and so you did.
"Hmm. Keep doing that" Sylus purrs.
You hug him closer, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. Both of you drifting off to sleep once again.
Who would've thought, the feared leader of onichynus, who could have no trouble putting a bullet through one's head, be so vulnerable in his woman's arm?
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