#got so many problems and they are going round in circles through my mind-uncontrollably

[myheartxmyman]

Right now I feel so old and sad at the same time. Those feelings are so strong I feel paralyzed and slow.

[moonofthenight]

Everything must come to an end

Umm okay, so here is the fic posted the moodboard to a few days ago. This is two thousand words of pure angst, like really really angsty so if you decide to read it, please be aware of that. Also, I kind of want to leave it like it is, I don’t really want to write a part two to it.

Oh and this is probably not the most realistic scenario but I loved to explore it anyways.

*

I’m sorry @lumosinlove but thank you for letting me use your amazing characters

*

CW for mentions of food, lots of crying, bad mental health for some time and a general very sad atmosphere

A happy ending is never a promise, it’s a wish and ever since Leo was little, he wished for it more than anything.

The rain softly pattered against the window, waking the blonde one up, who let out a content sigh. Contrary to popular believe, Leo loved rainy days. There was nothing better than waking up in the warmth of the bed with his boys next to him, holding them safely in his arms. He already could imagine today, Finn sitting on the couch with his glasses and the nose in a book, Logan cuddling Finn to oblivion, while he made them something to eat. But if he only knew…

He felt Finn’s hand moving in his, a sign that he was waking up too. Leo pushed himself up with one arm, careful not to wake Logan up, reaching over to brush Finn’s hair from his forehead.

“Good morning sweetheart.”

“Mhh good morning Le.”

Finn stretched his back, his head sleepily falling down onto the pillow, making Leo chuckle.

“Wake Lo up, would you love? I will go down and make some breakfast for us.”, Leo said while getting up.

Finn nodded in response, blowing Leo a kiss, to which he leaned down and planted a real kiss on his lips in return. Finn made a soft sound, his hand finding the back of Leo’s head, pulling him closer. They parted eventually and Leo gave Finn a last kiss on the cheek before he made his way into the kitchen.

He started to prepare the bowls, humming softly while he mixed everything together. Leo flinched at the loud ringtone of his phone. It laid on the kitchen counter, exactly where he left it last night after their weekly date night.

Coach is calling…

“Good morning coach, what’s up?”

“Leo…”

His heart dropped at the tone of Arthur’s voice.

“Leo, I am so sorry but you have been traded. Come over soon so we can talk about the paperwork please.”

Leo didn’t remember what he said, he ended the call and starred at the phone in his hands. He felt… numb, as if he was stuck in one of those horrid dreams where you keep running and running and running but you never reach any end. He managed to put the phone back down but when he looked up, all he could do was to stare blankly at the wall. He didn’t cry, it still felt too surreal.

Leo could faintly discern Logan and Finn moving towards the kitchen, their laughter echoing from the walls right into his heart. The happy sound stopped the moment the two entered the kitchen, seeing Leo standing there. Both of them knew something was wrong.

“I got traded.”

It was simple as that and now it was finally sinking in. He got traded, he got-

“No please tell me this is some sick joke", a bitter laugh escaped Logan’s mouth, both him and Finn stopping dead in their tracks.

“It’s not”, his voice broke and he looked towards them, the tears already running down his face.

Logan immediately started sobbing, his eyes filled with fear and helplessness. At the same time, Finn moved to pull Leo into a hug, his wet cheek pressing against Leo’s collarbone. All of them were crying by now, it was an ugly picture but so was the situation.  

“This doesn’t make any sense. You haven’t even been playing long with us”, Finn muttered against Leo’s skin.

“We can’t let them take you away from us. What are we without you by our side?”

“We can do it. We have to”, Logan said through his tears, his hand reaching out to wipe away Leo’s tears.

Leo didn’t answer.

Can we?

“I think I need some time for myself, okay?”, he said and leaned into Logan’s touch for a second before removing himself out of the hug.

He walked out of the kitchen but as he turned around again, Logan and Finn were already in each other’s arms, rocking from side to side. He could hear a faint “It’s going to be alright.” But it cut off with his door falling shut.

He walked towards his bed, falling down face first and just laid there. He gave himself a few minutes to breathe, his mind was blank. He was so so scared. He couldn’t do anything. He didn’t know how and if this was going to work out, hearts are going to break either way.

He lifted his head a bit, reaching out for the phone he carelessly threw onto the bed.

Please pick up, please pick up, please pick up

“Lupin?”

“Cap? Did I call the wrong number?”

“No, you didn’t. Is everything alright? You sound a bit off.”

“No, yes. Can you just pass the phone to Remus please?”, his voice sounded so small but he heard shuffling and some swearing before the other Lupin was on the phone.

“Knutty, what’s up?”

“Re…”, Leo let out a shaky breath. Remus didn’t say anything else, he just waited, which is why he called him in the first place. Remus always knew what’s best.

“If- let’s say for some reason you need to move to another city on the other end of the country and Sirius is in no way able to come with you, what would you do?”

“Leo, what is going on?”

“You’ll probably find out soon enough, just answer my question please.”

“I mean. I would try to do a long distance but it’s a tough decision to make. Long distances aren’t easy. Leo, whatever is going on, try to do what you think will be best for you and listen to you heart. Love you.”

“Love you too, Re. Thank you.”

He threw his phone back into the pillows and thought about what his teammate said. The problem was, Leo’s heart was broken and what use was it to listen to a broken heart?

Maybe it would be better to call it quit. I can’t manage a long-distance relationship. I can’t.

He pushed himself off the bed, finding his way to the living room, trying not to think too much about what he was going to do to them, what he was going to do to himself. Logan and Finn were curled up together on the sofa, not crying anymore but not talking either. Leo cleared his throat, both boys looked up to him, slowly sitting up properly.

“We need to talk.”

Leo rounded the couch, sitting down between them, his heart heavy. He didn’t say anything right away but breathed, trying to stop the tears from falling again but he was failing.

“I think- I know I won’t be able to keep a long-distance relationship up. I think I need to cut myself out of this. I’m sorry.”

Leo didn’t talk around it or tried to talk it better because it wouldn’t make a thing better. This was the most painful experience and he knew he was the reason for it.

Said two froze, the comforting hand that was on his back a second ago fell down on the couch. It was dead silent. Then Logan started sobbing, his body shaking uncontrollably.

“What?”

Finn’s voice was nothing but a whisper, his eyes red and shiny.

“Leo no. No please, don’t do this to us. You can’t- we are a team, we are supposed to stay together, we-we are supposed to marry in the future, Leo-“, Logan broke down into sobs again, his face in his hands. It broke Leo’s heart into a million pieces.

Leo looked over to Finn, tears silently rushing down over his beautiful freckles, his eyes were filled with pain but also understanding.

“I’m sorry,” said Leo, his voice breaking “but I made my decision.”

He stood up, not being able to stay another second longer in the mess he made, walking into his bedroom, the lump in his throat growing.

Fuck

----

The farewell party was spot on terrible. The team gathered together at Dumo’s, trying to make the best out of the situation but there wasn’t a single thing that cheered Leo up. He was on the verge of tears the moment he stepped into the house because it just reminded him of the things, he won’t be able to see on a daily basis anymore.

Now, a few hours later, his bags were packed, the taxi was waiting downstairs. Logan and Finn stood there, right in front of him, tears in their beautiful eyes.

He gave them a small, tight smile.

“I love you,” Leo said through his tears before he looked at them one last time and closed the door behind him. The moment the door clicked shut he broke down sobbing.

Little did he know that on the other side of the door, Finn was sliding down against it, his mind trying to wrap around the things that happened, pulling Logan against his chest, trying to ease the pain they were feeling.

---

They were falling apart, slowly but surely.

The first week was okay, given the circumstances, they tried to comfort each other and there was a lot of crying. But eventually, Logan couldn’t sleep in Finn’s bed anymore, it didn’t feel right and there were too many memories connected to it. The dark spots under their eyes grew from day to day.

The team was worried but they brushed it off every time someone tied to talk to them or to get them to open up.

The problem was, it’s human nature to search for anything to blame something on. But there was no one. It wasn’t Logan’s fault, it wasn’t Finn’s, it wasn’t Leo’s, it wasn’t Arthur’s.

By the end of week two, Finn and Logan barley talked to each other and the flat was a real mess. Pizza boxes over pizza boxes, the dishes still in the sink, the windows weren’t opened for days but neither had the strength to do something about it. How could they? Everyday was a fight, going on the ice wasn’t what it was before.

But the season moved on and they had to function. Logan getting more and more aggressive on the ice, searching for something to deal with his emotions.

A few hundred miles away, Leo was watching the game in his hotel room, starring at the screen.

It had been three weeks by now and he hadn’t really talked to anyone yet.

The new team was amazing honestly, they were trying to include him and welcoming him into their circle but he couldn’t bring himself to engage with them, his walls were up again.

This wasn’t family dinner at Dumo’s, this wasn’t being chirped by Pot’s at morning practice, this wasn’t Cap threatening him with drills if he didn’t concentrate, this wasn’t screaming to Taylor Swift songs with Kasey, this wasn’t waking up with Finn and Logan next to him. He was a fucking Lion and this was not right.

So, he made a decision, maybe this time, the right one.

---

Finn was currently sitting on the couch, searching for something to watch when he heard the doorbell. He debated if it was worth it to stand up but he managed to drag himself towards the door. He nearly fainted when he saw who was standing there. He starred dumbly at his face, blue eyes starring right back at him.

“We need to talk and sort this shit out.”

[queenofspades20]

Every Time You Leave

Synopsis: Steve Rogers and Reader are engaged. Steve has been on a longer mission and Reader misses him.

So, been thinking about writing this for awhile. This was inspired by Every Time You Leave by I Prevail. I just love this song. This was supposed to be something short and ended up as over 3k words (whoops). This is not suitable for those under 18. This is my first time writing smut, so sorry for any awkwardness. Did not originally intend on writing smut, but it just kinda happened.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, smut, cursing

Word count: 3.2k

This is the song: https://youtu.be/5KDR0M-Edrg

Y/n and Steve were sitting on the couch together, watching a movie. They were at their home about 15 minutes from the compound. They had moved there a few months ago after Steve proposed. Steve wanted them to have their own space. Y/n was cuddled up to Steve, his arm around her shoulders. They had a blanket draped over their laps. Steve had just gotten back from a 3 week mission a few hours ago. Y/n had missed her fiancé fiercely. She couldn’t stop looking up at his face, still not believing he was finally home.

Steve had a soft smile. “You’re staring, Sweetheart.”

“Can’t help it. Missed you so much. I always feel like a piece of me is missing while you’re gone on missions.” Y/n felt tears burning in her eyes. She placed her head in the crook of his neck and hugged him tight.

Steve felt his heart break. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

Y/n quickly looked up, sensing his distress. “I don’t say it to make you feel bad. I know it’s your job and I am so proud of all the good you do. And, as long as you love what you do and it makes you happy, I support you 100 percent.”

Steve placed a kiss on Y/n’s forehead. “I know. And I want you to talk to me when you’re feeling like this. I just want to know how I got so lucky as to have such a wonderful woman like you.”

Y/n snorted. “I think I’m the lucky one here. As that guy at the Apple store said,” Y/n leaned back to gesture at Steve. “Specimen.”

Steve started uncontrollably laughing. “I wish I never told you that story. That was so awkard.”

Y/n’s eyes sparkled at Steve’s laughter. “Seriously, Steve, you are kind, smart, funny, and just all around wonderful. Part of me wishes to go back to the 40s to slap some sense into those girls for never giving you a chance. But, their loss, my gain.”

“You’re just saying that because you love me. I wasn’t much to look at before the serum.”

“Uh, Steve, I saw pictures. You were gorgeous. Your smile and eyes are my favorite features of yours. Those girls were too stupid to see the amazing guy you are.”

Steve felt his cheeks heat up. “Yup, I’m the lucky one, Doll.” He quickly pulled her close and started placing numerous kisses all over her face. Y/n squealed and squirmed.

“Steve!” Y/n yelled, laughing.

The blanket fell to the floor as Steve maneuvered them to laying down on the couch, with Steve hovering over Y/n. He grabbed her hands and held them above her head. He looked down at her with a smile. Y/n moved her leg so it was hitched onto Steve’s hip.

“Kiss me,” Y/n said with love in her eyes. She was smiling softly.

“With pleasure.” Steve leaned down and touched his lips to Y/n’s, softly at first. The kiss quickly became heated, Steve still holding her hands above her head with one hand. He moved his other hand along her body. Y/n let out a little moan and ground her hips against his.

Steve gripped Y/n’s hip and let more of his weight fall onto her. He broke the kiss and started kissing down her neck. When he found her sweet spot, Y/n started to let out a loud moan. She quickly bit her lip to keep the noise down. Steve moved his hand to cup her jaw, his thumb pulling her lip from her teeth. He looked deep in her eyes, his desire darkening his eyes.

“I want to hear those moans, Baby girl. Don’t hold back.” He quickly went back to her sweet spot, determined to make her come undone. His hand made its way down Y/n’s body and moved to her ass. Steve ground his hips into Y/n’s, nipping just under her jaw.

“Fuck, Steve.” Y/n moaned. “I need to touch you.” She tried pulling her hands from Steve’s steel grip, but he wouldn’t budge.

“Not yet, Baby. I wanna make you feel good,” Steve asked, his lips next Y/n’s ear. His hand moved to the front of her shorts and slipped in, reaching down into her panties. His finger slipped into her folds, feeling her wetness. Steve groaned. “Already so wet for me.” His pointer finger teased her clit, sending electricity through her body.

“Steve!” Y/n panted. Her hips bucked up into his hand. “More, please!”

Steve slid his finger into her heat. His palm rubbed against her clit. “More? How many fingers can you take?” Steve asked as he slid another finger in.

“Oh fuck, Steve!”

“So tight around my fingers.” Steve started to pump his fingers in and out. Y/n’s hips moving with his hand.

“Steve please! I need you.” Y/n begged. Steve’s scent filled her senses. He kissed her while rubbing against her G-spot. “Please! I can’t wait for you.”

Steve let go of her hands, reaching down to take off her shorts. Y/n immediately put her hands in his hair, pulling him close for a desperate kiss. One of her hands reached down and undid his pants, reaching in to pull his cock out. She ran her thumb over his tip, spreading the precum that had dribbled out. Steve ripped her shorts and panties off quickly. Y/n gasped at the action.

“Steve! I liked those shorts!”

“I’ll buy you new ones.” He hitched her leg over his hip and guided his cock to her slick heat. His cock nudged against her clit. They both moaned at the feeling. With one quick thrust, Steve sheathed himself into Y/n.

Y/n’s back arched into him, her fingers clawing down his back. “Oh my God, Steve!”

Steve stayed still for a few moments, letting Y/n get used to him. She clenched her walls to let him know he could move. Steve started a slow pace, quickly gaining speed.

“Harder, Steve! Please!”

Steve started thrusting harder at her pleas. “Like that, Baby?”

“Oh God, Steve! Just like that!” Y/n threw her head back in pleasure. She moved her hips to take him deeper. “You feel so good!” she moaned out.

“Am I filling you up, Baby? You missed my cock?”

“Yes!” Y/n could feel tears filling her eyes, overwhelmed by how good Steve felt in her.

“Fuck, Y/n. I’m not gonna last long. You feel too good.” Steve reached down and harshly rubbed circled on her clit to bring her to her high. His pace stuttered slightly, signaling how close he was.

Y/n could feel the pressure building. “I’m not gonna last much longer either, Baby.”

With three more thrusts, they came together, Steve’s cock shooting hot spurts of his seed deep inside Y/n’s womb. Y/n could feel him twitching inside her. Steve crashed his lips to Y/n’s, his tongue immediately entering her mouth. He slowed his hips down to draw out the pleasure. They broke the kiss, looking into each other eyes.

“I love you, Y/n.”

“I love you too, Steve. I feel bad for asking this, but maybe no more missions for maybe a month? As much as I enjoy our reunion sex, I would like to have more time with you, especially since we’re supposed to be planning a wedding.” Y/n felt shy in asking.

Steve felt guilt settle in his stomach. “I’m sorry, Darling. I know I’ve been called away a lot lately. I’ll make the request first thing tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you to get into trouble and I know you’re valued. I just, I’ve missed you so much.”

“I won’t get in trouble. This last mission was pretty hard on me. I think with how hard I’ve been working, I deserve some time to spend with my amazing fiancée.”

Y/n threw her arms around his shoulders, her face in his neck. “Thank you, Steve. As long as it won’t be a problem.”

“Of course it won’t. They’ll understand. Now, let’s head to bed, shall we? I think I need a few more rounds of reunion sex.” Steve nipped just below Y/n’s jaw.

“You read my mind.”

Steve pulled out of Y/n and stood up. He picked her up in his arms and carried her to bed, where he made up for his absence several more times.

The next morning Steve walked into the compound, looking for Tony. He had a speech ready to explain why he was taking time off. He had figured since everyone knew he and Y/n were getting married, taking some time to just stick with training and not going on missions for awhile would not cause any problems.

As he walked into Tony’s lab, Tony looked up from where he was sitting. “Hey Capsicle. I hope you brought your suit, we leave for a mission in 4 hours.”

“What are you talking about, Tony? I just got back yesterday. I can’t go on another mission right now.”

“Sorry, Fury’s orders. Last minute thing. We’re all ordered to go.” Tony paused, seeing the distress on Steve’s face. “I know you just got back. If it makes you feel better, this mission is only supposed to be a few days.”

“No, it doesn’t make me feel better. When was anyone going to tell me about this mission? Am I really needed?”

“Unfortunately yes. And Fury told us about it last night, but we knew you were home with Y/n and didn’t want to disturb you. Give you at least one night uninterrupted.” Tony approached with a manila folder. “Here’s the mission brief.”

Steve wiped his hand down his face and took the folder. “How am I supposed to do this to Y/n? I promised her I would take a break.” He flipped through the pages in his hand, seeing that he was, in fact, needed for this mission.

Tony looked at his friend. While he normally would make a sarcastic comment, he didn’t feel like kicking Steve while he was already down. “We’ll try to keep the mission as short as possible. I suggest you run home to get your suit and break the news to Y/n.”

“After this mission, I’m done. No more missions.”

Steve felt his stomach drop. He couldn’t get Y/n’s face from last night out of his head. He knew she wasn’t going to be happy. Steve made his way home. As he walked up to the front door of his and Y/n’s home, Steve felt nothing but dread. He didn’t want to disappoint her. Steve opened the door, hearing Y/n in the kitchen.

“Steve? Is that you?”

“Hey, Baby.” Steve walked to the kitchen. Y/n was placing a tray of cookies on the counter.

“You were gone less than an hour. Did you decide to take the day off altogether?”

“I, um. I don’t know how to tell you this, Baby.” Steve couldn’t look Y/n in the eyes. He felt so horrible.

“What is it?” Y/n looked at Steve with concern. She moved near him and put a hand on his shoulder.

“I leave for a mission in a few hours. I walked in to tell them I was taking time for us and got handed the brief. I have to go.” Steve felt miserable.

Y/n blinked away tears. Trying to keep her composure, she looked at Steve’s face. She could see how upset he was. “Oh.” Y/n tried not to sound too disappointed. She didn’t want to make this harder for Steve than it already was.

Steve felt his heart break. He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry. I know we had that talk last night and I’m already disappointing you. I’m so sorry.”

Y/n could feel Steve’s tears drop onto her head. She hugged him back. “It’s the life of a superhero. Sometimes your life isn’t your own and you have to save people.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No.” Y/n lifted her head. Steve still couldn’t look at her, so she put her hands on his cheeks and moved his head so she could look into his eyes. “I can’t say I’m happy you’re leaving so soon after just getting back, but I know it’s part of your job. I know you don’t want to go.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Steve, it’s not about deserving. I love you. And like I said last night, I support you. How long will you be gone for this one?”

“Tony said a few days. We’ll try to get it done faster.”

“Well, as much as I want you back with me sooner rather than later, please be safe. Don’t be reckless because you want to come home. As hard as it is when you’re away, I don’t know if I could handle it if you never came back. I’d lose a piece of me that I could never get back.”

Steve smiled softly. “I’ll always come home to you, Doll.” He kissed her softly. “I gotta get my stuff,” he said sadly.

They let go of each other. Steve went into their room to pack his bag and suit up. Y/n turned to the cookies she had made as a surprise for Steve that night and put some in a container. As she was finishing up in the kitchen, Steve appeared in the doorway. Y/n stared at him, trying not to cry. She made her way over to him and pulled him into a hug. Steve buried his face into Y/n’s neck.

“Promise me you’ll be safe.”

“I promise.”

“Just a few days?”

“If not sooner. I’m so sorry.”

“Steven Grant Rogers, you have nothing to be sorry for,” Y/n said as she looked into his eyes. “You have a job, a very difficult job. All I want is for you to be safe and to come home to me.”

“I will.” Steve pulled her in for a dramatic kiss, a tradition they started after Y/n had commented that she loved the idea of a big Hollywood-style kiss. Steve started doing a dramatic kiss when he left and when he came home. As always, when he pulled away, Y/n had a big smile on her face.

“I love you, Steve.”

“I love you too, Y/n.”

Steve left and made his way to the compound. He boarded the quinjet with his teammates.

 Two weeks later, Steve still had not come home. Y/n was worried. Since the whole team was on the mission, she had no one to call for news. And Steve also didn’t have access to his phone, per usual.

“A few days my ass. I swear, I’m going to punch those assholes for lying.” Y/n had taken to pacing in the living room. Even though she had work to keep her busy during the days, at nights, she couldn’t help her thoughts running wild. She had no idea if Steve or the team were okay.

Though she had been okay for the first few days Steve was gone, the longer it went without word from him, the harder it was to sleep or even eat. Y/n knew she had probably lost a couple of pounds. She would eat what she could but just couldn’t eat a full meal. Her stomach was in knots with stress. Looking at the clock, Y/n saw it was late. She decided to just go lay down, even if she couldn’t sleep. Y/n grabbed one of Steve’s shirts to sleep in and crawled into bed. She pulled Steve’s pillow closer to her body and spritzed some of Steve’s cologne on the pillow. It helped having his scent near her, even if it wasn’t anywhere near as good as the real thing. Y/n felt the tears come, as they did every night. She was so caught up in her crying, that she failed to hear the front door open.

Steve was exhausted and pissed. He couldn’t believe that the mission took so long. Luckily, the mission was successful and the worst injuries were some cuts and bruises. But all he could think about was getting home to Y/n. He had already spoken with Fury and Tony, who agreed to give him two months of guaranteed no missions, so he could spend quality time with Y/n. When he walked into their home, he could hear Y/n crying in their bedroom. Steve never felt so horrible as he did in that moment. He set his gear down and started stripping off his tac suit as he made his way to the bedroom. He was so determined to get home to Y/n, that he didn’t shower or change. He walked over to the bed and sat down, startling Y/n.

“Steve!” Y/n sat up and moved to pull him into a hug. “What the hell?”

Steve held her tight, moving her body to straddle his, so he could hold her as close as possible. He could feel her tears on his chest. “The mission went sideways. Our intel wasn’t good. We got what we needed done, but we had to get the proper intel first before we could move in. I’m so sorry. We couldn’t get word out.”

“Were you injured? Was anyone injured?”

“Just a few cuts and bruises, but nothing serious.”

Y/n cuddled as close to Steve as she could. After a few moments, “Steve?” Y/n sounded hesitant.

“Yes, Darling?”

“I, um. I was wondering, did you, um, did you ask to get some time without missions?”

Steve pulled back slightly and smiled at her. “I have a guarantee of at least two months without missions. They will have to do it without me. And I’m taking the next week off so we have time together. No work. Even if you can’t get that time off, I’ll be here, waiting for you every evening.”

Y/n smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “Good. I can at least take tomorrow off. I’m sure we both need some rest. I couldn’t really sleep without you here.”

Steve’s face fell, which Y/n rushed to assure him not to feel guilty. “Baby, don’t feel guilty. You couldn’t help what happened with the mission.”

“Still…”

“No, Steve. I’m just happy you’re home. That’s all I really wanted. What do you say we take a nice hot bath, cause, Sweetheart, you kinda smell.”

Steve looked a little sheepish. “I just wanted to get home to you. I didn’t shower.”

Y/n laughed. “I kind of guessed, as you’re still wearing your tac pants. So, what do you say? Bath?”

Steve just stood up, supporting Y/n in his arms. He carried her over to the bathroom. He set her on the counter and turned to start the bath. Y/n reached around his waist and undid his pants, helping him out of them while the tub filled with steaming water. Y/n grabbed the lavender bath bomb from the jar she had on the counter and dropped it in. Steve then helped her out of her clothes. Once the tub was filled, Steve stepped in and sat down. Y/n stepped in and settled with her back against Steve’s chest. Steve’s arms came around her and held her close.

“I missed you, Y/n.” Steve placed a kiss on Y/n’s temple.

“I missed you too, Steve.” Y/n leaned her head and kissed Steve’s jaw. “My missing piece is home.”

[mars-janka]

Bluebirds

Fandom: The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild

Ship: Revalink (Revali x Link)

Word count: 4684

A/N: This piece is a work for the Revalink Valentine’s Exchange 2021 @revalinkexchange! Happy Valentine’s Day to my dear giftee @spacesephora! Thank you for providing the prompt and inspiring me; I do wish you enjoy reading my take on it!

Read on AO3

Vah Medoh was lonely.

Before the Calamity, Revali never really understood how the mechanical beast thrown under his wing worked. He was told countless times that it held a soul, but then again, he questioned himself when he was alone almost as many times as he’s heard of it, how could a stone machine be ever capable of having one? And yet despite those doubts it was one of the few things he kept to himself and never dared to speak up about it; it wasn’t like he possessed any more knowledge about ancient Sheikah technology than Purah, Robbie or even princess Zelda.

With those thoughts repressed deep inside him, Revali continued to listen to more of the scientist’s advice and theories and utilizing them later when within the divine beast. He had never once felt a presence surrounding him, making him doubt all the efforts he made to “connect” with Medoh, but nevertheless never stopped trying. It was surprising when he heard of Daruk having problems with taming Rudania. It made Revali almost paranoid, now looking over his shoulder at the slightest sound and faint feeling of something sneaking up his spine. Yet despite that, a part of him still seemed to be wary of the idea of Medoh being alive.

It changed when his own life came to a tragic end.

He no longer had any doubts. He no longer had any body, he turned into merely a presence, one that he once didn’t believe to be real. As the consciousness left his mortal, limp body, Revali felt his soul intertwine with another one, one that could only be Medoh. They became one and the same, a wicked, infested part of her threatening to infuse his mind.

He despised it; he spent his first months silent, lost in thought not bothering to speak to Medoh despite her malicious cries. Their roles switched, now he was a beast that needed taming. He isolated himself, wallowing over his lost life, cursing Hylia and pitying Hyrule’s fate all in the one of many corners of the divine beast. After a few years, his mindset changed, however. Revali realized that his soul was bound to Medoh’s forever, whether pure or cruel, and there was nothing he could do about it; he could not escape, he could not defeat her nor could he take his own life as he was already dead.

With a heavy heart he submitted to his fate and day by day, night by night the pain started to lessen.

He let himself let out everything; his fears, burdens, memories, passions. Even if Medoh was swallowed by a dark force, he still felt as if an old part of her was still there, understanding him and his emotions, something he hadn’t been graced by in a very long time. At times, he wondered if that was meant to be from the beginning; two lonely souls finding each other. Revali smiled feeling her presence, he felt content with that.

That was until Link came back from the dead.

The sheer sight of him made Revali feel a strange sensation inside of him. Watching him was strange. He had not changed, not one bit, his youthful features apparent with movements mirroring those which Revali remembered from a century ago. Despite that something felt off. He brushed it off, too interested (and too excited) in observing Link’s struggles with overcoming the difficulties he was faced with to care.

What he couldn’t ignore however was the feeling that loomed over him after he and Link had parted. The loneliness that Revali hid deep inside himself was threatening to tear trough again, its power strengthened. Medoh’s company wasn’t enough, he realized with pain. He became quieter than he was in the beginning, not daring to let his thoughts slip. Hiding from Medoh wasn’t as difficult as it used to be with his newly acquired body (he was still but a mere spirit, yet it was still much more than he could’ve ever imagined). What was, though, was hurting her.

It felt terrible yet he couldn’t make himself open up to her, straying away as far as he could. He remained distant and cold ignoring her cries, longing to see the world once again, if only for a second.

Revali was absorbed in his thoughts, looking out at Rito Village through the humongous round windows when it happened. Out of the blue, he felt some divine being wrap him in their hands and suddenly he found himself in a place, beside somebody that he expected the least to see.

It was raining terribly, and Link looked almost as shocked as he did, clinging tightly to his cloth paraglider as Revali’s spirit circled around him, wings spreading in a graceful manner, summoning an updraft that lifted them both up in only a matter of seconds. It was as if the same force as before was controlling all his movements. Revali was overwhelmed by what was happening around him, by what was happening to him. He could feel everything; the wind grazing his feathers, the rain coating them, the almost suffocating air that he breathed, the lingering smell of the ocean. It all seemed too good to be true. And for the first time in a hundred years, he felt alive, no matter how ironic that was, considering he was still very much everything but that.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Link’s, raw emotions shining through them (as though the knight could feel). He wasn’t sure if it was the force that made it impossible or if there really was something truly captivating, mesmerizing about them. He couldn’t give it another thought, however, as he felt that same bizarre, divine hands take him into their care. Panicking, he opened his beak to shout. Before any words had a change to form, his vision became blurry and in a blink of an eye he was once again reunited with the cold, indifferent interior of his divine beast.

“No!” he cried as the words found a way to escape, his wing instinctively reaching forward to grab what was left of this beautiful dream he had, only to be met with hard glass preventing him from falling down, in a moment where he wanted to fall the most, feel the wind graze his feathers once more. “No…” he said again with head pressing painfully against the window as he gradually slid down to his knees. His gaze locked at the very sight he was looking at before, his home, Rito Village. Revali felt a lump form in his throat, choking a sob. “Please,” he said, pleading to whoever who listened, voice shaking. “Please, let me out of here.”

His wish couldn’t be fulfilled, not if he was not called for by this divine force.

Which wasn’t something he expected to happen as weeks flew by. What did, however, happen was that he was left completely alone as Medoh wouldn’t be bothered by his behavior anymore. Revali couldn’t hear her cries and thoughts; she shut him off just like he wanted and yet he still found himself missing them. He would never admit that of course, whatever was left of his pride making him bottle it up inside, quietly hoping that one day the silence would break.

And finally, that day came. It was unexpected and sudden and… peculiar. The presence that Revali felt, and assumed to be Medoh, was very much unlike anything he remembered. Something about it was off, as if it couldn’t possibly be her but then again perhaps, she has changed and in doing so did the feeling of her presence as it had been a while since she has too isolated herself. Revali though was too distracted by the sheer joy that he felt in this very moment, calling Medoh’s name in his thoughts, hoping that she’d hear him and rushing through the insides of the divine beast searching for the place where he’d sense her the most.

“I’m sorry,” the thoughts echoed in his mind, as he couldn’t bear to speak, knowing that Medoh preferred them to hearing his voice. “I’m sorry I was so selfish, Medoh please forgive me.” They were running almost as fast as he was. “Give me a sign that you’re there!”

Revali was slowly but surely getting tired of participating in this cat and mouse styled game. Just as he was about to call out her name with his voice, he had felt her presence right next to him. Abruptly, he turned his head to face her and it wasn’t Medoh, oh no. For the third time in the past few months, he saw none other than Link.

He wasn’t sure whether to feel surprised, disappointed, annoyed or relieved even. He simply sighed and let his shoulders slouch back. “What are you doing here, knight?” he asked, voice harsh. “Don’t you have a world to save?” Revali was staring right into Link’s eyes intensely, nearly burning holes in them. For a short while, everything else disappeared, the world was shut out. It was only him and Link, looking, trying to solve the hidden meanings behind their mannerisms, expressions, eyes. Revali didn’t mind the sensation that it gave him, he longed for anything that helped him get his mind off his terrible afterlife.

Suddenly the wind howled, breaking the tense silence surrounding them. The sound reminded Revali of Medoh. He grunted and looked away a bit embarrassed. “A hundred years and you still hadn’t got back your tongue,” he said regaining his stance.

He was ready to dismiss the whole situation and go back to Medoh to try and search for comfort, but much to his surprise, he heard a voice, making his plan temporarily impossible. “I-,” It came out as a rasp. Revali’s eyes widened as he realized that this voice belongs to Link. “I thought that you could use some company.”

“You what?” he choked, not believing what he just heard. The feathers on his body ruffled uncontrollably, standing up from every side. He wasn’t sure whether it was because of the raspy, probably from unuse, serious tone, because of the message that the words passed, or perhaps the combination of both. The fact that he was trying his hardest to hide it, getting annoyed in the process wasn’t of any help. “What made you think so?”

For an unknown reason, some part of him expected Link to shrug and laugh in his face, saying that it was but a mere joke and yet none of that happened. He stood there, seemingly tall and proud of what he said. This time it was Revali that felt the gaze staring right into the inside of his soul. He on the other hand couldn’t bring himself to look at the knight’s face. “I know you’re lonely,” Link said, his voice now softer.

Revali let out a short awkward laugh. “I don’t know what-,” he tried to argue but was quickly (and efficiently) cut off.

“Don’t try to deny that,” his serious tone came back and Revali couldn’t help but to look at him. His gaze was as stern as his posture, both hands by his sides, curled up in fists. “I’ve seen it in your eyes, it’s written all over your face,” he started with passion, confident with his words spread only the truth. “The first time we met, when I… I don’t even know saw your… spirit?” he stumbled, probably too many thoughts flooding his little head yet still remained as passionate. “A-And now, too,” he added quickly. “You can’t hide it.”

Revali stood before him, stunned. His beak was opened slightly before it formed into a frown. “Unbelievable,” he scoffed, and more feathers ruffled on his back. “You,” he angrily pointed one finger at Link. “Have a lot of nerve coming here,” he was gesticulating wildly. “To my home, out of the blue, completely uninvited and tell me about my personal problems whilst not having resolved your own!” he huffed and took a deep breath. “Completely ridiculous.”

Link took every word that he spit at him with patience. He had closed his eyes and didn’t bother to respond. This angered Revali more, but he had no more energy to waste. “Oh, so now you won’t answer?” he waited a little while longer before realizing that it’s in vain. He turned on his foot, ready to hide in the shadows of Vah Medoh. “Classic.”

“I need your company!”

Revali stopped walking. This sentence alone sparked his interest enough to stay and listen to what Link had to say. The Hylian seemed to get the cue. “I-I am lonely too,” his voice was much quieter than only seconds ago; it was obvious that he hadn’t planned to bring this subject up and yet he still kept going. “You don’t owe me anything but,” Link sighed deeply, preparing for whatever he was about to say. “You’re the only one who understands what it’s like to truly be alone, what it’s like to be the one left behind.”

Revali could feel Link looking at him expectantly. “You’re wrong,” he heard Link take a breath. “Not that I expected anything else, but…” he turned to face him and yet didn’t look at his face, focusing on everything but him. “I am not lonely,” he stated, putting the most pressure on the third word. “And I do owe you something. My soul. And for that I-,” Revali’s eyes caught Link’s and only now he noticed the brilliant blush on his cheeks that he’s not seen before. It distracted him but he quickly shook out of it and he chose to ignore it, grunting and glancing away. “I suppose I can give the company that you crave so much.”

And ever since then, he had kept his word, as every time Link visited him, he’d embrace him with open arms. Revali had become reliant on his visits, firstly only craving any form on intimacy since Medoh was no longer an option. At times he’d even compare the divine beast to a desert since it was so desolate, empty and vacant only until Link showed up, momentarily replacing the feeling of being alone with joy upon meeting another person. Link was Revali’s escape, nothing more.

“I plan to battle with Ganon in a short time.”

Or so he had thought a while ago.

Somehow that sentence that was whispered to him made him fear more than ever. A cold shiver ran down Revali’s spine as his fingers curled up in Link’s hair stopped their movements. He felt the blonde shift on his lap, later a hand touching his face. “Is something wrong?” Link had asked, his voice concerned and soft.

Revali didn’t look at him. His heart screamed yes and yet he said “No, everything’s fine.” To assure Link, or himself really, he continued stroking his hair. He felt his heart leap, sink, do cartwheels and everything in between. He was far from being okay. He swallowed audibly. “Just… try your best to dodge his attacks.”

Link laughed and turned to face him as Revali with a smirk on his face playfully ruffled his hair. “All this time,” he said dramatically. “And you’re still doubting my abilities?”

“Never hurts to be simply remind.”

They parted soon after. They didn’t say goodbye, never did. It seemed all too serious, and all too sad. A simple wave would cut it as Link each time left Medoh in the beautiful colors of dawn. Watching him was serene, calming even despite his heart aching, begging him not to leave and the knowledge that he was about to fight the worst of nightmares, one that was a brink away from consuming the world. As Link disappeared completely from Revali’s line of sight, he took a deep breath and murmured, “I really hope you get back.” With that, he turned to hide in Medoh.

The next thing he remembered was that, for the first time in a hundred years, he woke up. His body was terribly aching, muscles sore as if all he had been doing those years were murderous exercises. He opened his eyes with a groan; though he quickly closed them when the light of the morning sun started to burn them. He couldn’t as much stand up, he couldn’t move his wings nor his legs; it was as if he was pinned to the ground, groaning from pain. It was Link who had found him, a couple days after. The knight panicked but immediately went back to the village to get help. The Rito were more than confused when they saw Revali, but they agreed to help, not knowing that the very man that they’re nursing back to health is their beloved Champion from a century prior.

The recovery was taking months and Revali slowly but surely was getting better. “I remember being alive differently than this,” he said later followed by a cough. Link smiled and leaned back in his chair looking out at the sunset. He was trying his best to visit Revali at all times, but it was not always the easiest now with princess Zelda needing his help with rebuilding the ruined kingdom.

“I’m pretty sure that the others feel the same way you do,” Link said lightheartedly to which Revali scoffed. He wasn’t the only one who was resurrected. Mipha, Urbosa and Daruk have been all reported to be very much alive as well. He had yet to see them though, but with his (and others) current, bleak state it was simply impossible. “When you’re all be looking…” Link trailed off into thought, trying to find the perfect word as Revali was glancing at him, awaiting. “…a bit better!” he finished enthusiastically. “I will invite you to visit my house in Hateno Village.”

“Now, that’s an idea,” Revali said, both intrigued and prejudiced. He thought out loud. “I wonder if the six of us will fit.”

“I’m sure we’ll manage.” And when the time came, though not without struggle, they really did. Beds, hammocks, sleeping bags and everything in between were now littering the entirety of the house’s first floor. There were also some baggage laying around, since when the guest where to put things, Link simply shrugged with a smile saying, “Throw it wherever.” From the décor Revali thought that it was clear that the knight never really got to spend much time just to sit and think, and if he did it certainly wasn’t the place.

“Sorry for the emptiness,” said shyly princess Zelda even though nobody seemed to mind (how could they when they spent the past century living in a mechanical beast?). “I’ve been trying to get more furniture but it’s hard these days.” She has been temporarily living with Link ever since the defeat of Ganon, so she must’ve felt at least partially responsible for the guests too, Revali figured.

Being in one room with so many people felt… to say the least strange. Everyone, though trying not to show, has changed in some way but that was certainly to be expected. What stayed the same however was their unique, unbreakable bond. It was clear that each and every one of them was grateful for the way the things turned out.

Silence lingered between the six, until Link decided to speak up, scratching the back of his head. “So…” he started, now getting everyone’s attention. “Does anyone fancy a quick spiced meat and mushroom skewer?” No one (with the exception of Daruk who was granted a prime rock roast) could turn down such an offer. The Champions and Zelda were very much aware of Link’s magnificent cooking skills that could turn a simple dish like this to a culinary masterpiece as when they were all recovering, he never failed to spoil them with their favorite foods.

“You’re too good to us, Link,” said Urbosa as she finished another one of the skewers. Everyone either laughed or nodded in approval. It was slowly getting darker and they sat peacefully, warmed by a fire right in front of Link’s house. The atmosphere got more relaxed with enthusiastic conversations and jokes replaced by a comfortable silence, sometimes interrupted by a yawn. The Champions started leaving the fire one by one, muttering a ‘goodnight’ in order to go to sleep.

Revali answered lazily every single one of the goodnight’s whilst being completely invested in watching the fire burn. He was very much sure that he was the only one left until he felt a warm body quickly sit right next to him. Not expecting that he was startled very much to which Link laughed. “You want to put a man who came back from the dead back to his place?”

“Not in a million years,” Link replied a sly smile playing on his lips. Revali sighed and moved a to the side slightly, giving him space to settle. He then fidgeted for quite a bit before finding the perfect spot. Revali couldn’t be bothered anymore however as he still stared into the calming flames. Link decided to join him. “Don’t you want to sleep?” he asked, nuzzling faintly into his feathers.

“Not really, no,” it took a second for him to respond. He wrapped his wing around the smaller frame of Link, something that made the knight very happy.

Link hummed happily, putting his head on Revali’s chest. “May I make a suggestion?” As an answer, Revali put his beak at the top of his head. Link stuttered at first, clearly nervous with what he was about to say. “I was-,” he took a deep breath and stopped for a moment as if to formulate the words. “There’s this, um, place that I-I’d like to show you.”

Revali quirked his brows. “Well, go on, I’m listening.”

“The thing is,” Link shifted away from him and started gesticulating. “It’s not that far away, really, but it’s far enough that we’d have to fly there and-,” he couldn’t go on as he got caught off.

“Wait, wait,” Revali took Link’s hands into his and the blonde looked at him curiously. “Did you say… fly?” Link, stunned, only nodded in response. Revali could see that he was trying his best to figure out what was wrong with flying, as to visit him in Hateno, the Champion flew straight from Rito Village. “You’re aware that the Rito have terribly bad eyesight in the dark, right?” Link’s eyes widened and Revali couldn’t help but smile at his cluelessness. “Oh my, who would’ve thought that the mighty knight needed some school time.”

Link blushed and turned away, but soon his laugh joined Revali’s. He awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “In that case, we can just go some other-”

“No!” Revali burst out suddenly. Realizing this, he grunted and thought of a way to explain this. “I mean- um, a little bit of adrenaline is always much appreciated in life, especially after only getting it back, right?”

Link looked at him, puzzled and skeptical. “…Right,” with the newly acquired knowledge, he wasn’t quite sure that the situation he was putting himself in was exactly safe but decided not to argue against it. “It’s only fair to fulfill a dying man’s last wish,” he said playfully to which Revali smacked his head from the back.

“I wonder who the dying man could be…” Before Link could reply with a snarkier remark, Revali got up and motioned for him to get on his back. “Come on, knight, I have a million things do to.” With that Link quickly complied and in no time Revali summoned his famous gale as they set off with the hero shouting Revali the directions and being his overall guide for the next hour or so.

It must’ve been truly tiring since the first thing Link did when they landed on the soft sandy shore of Lurelin Village was lie down, burying his face in the sand. Revali, being much less unacquainted with its texture, took time to adapt and stretch his wings after the flight. One of the first things that he noticed was that “It’s hot.”

Link lifted his face up from the sand, half of it staying on his skin. “It’s great now,” he said as he tried to get rid of the sticky sand. “It’s much worse during the day, trust me on this one.”

Revali however didn’t manage to catch the last words that Link spoken, as he had noticed something much more interesting than his voice or the temperature. His breath caught in his chest as he spoke. “It’s beautiful,” he said, completely absorbed in thought. Link, not understanding what he was on about turned his head to face him. The expression on his face was unlike whatever he’s seen before, gaze stern and focused on what was before him and Link couldn’t help but follow his gaze. The calming sound of the waves crashing against each other filled his ears as he stood up and moved to stand next to Revali.

“It really is,” admitted Link, his fingers reaching to brush against Revali’s. Despite being completely mesmerized by the sheer sight of the ocean, he reciprocated the touch. “It actually reminds me of you…”

“How come?” Revali’s eyes never left the water, whilst Link’s trailed to look at his face.

He swallowed audibly. “W-Well,” he started and Revali turned his head to face him to which in response Link panicked, shying away. “It’s really n-not that far away from where I first used your gale,” he could feel his eyes watching him intently. “The color helps too,” he quickly added and Revali chuckled.

A comfortable silence fell between the two, their hands still touching as they both went back to watching the ocean unfold before their very eyes. Revali had never felt this calm before, not even Medoh could bring him such peace, though their souls were once one and the same. But Link and Medoh were not the same. What he felt for him was different, strong and… real. And he’s come to accept it. His mind was a hurricane filled with various thoughts in that moment and yet the sudden sound of Link’s voice didn’t fail to stop them. “It’s actually my favorite place to be,” he said squeezing his hand. “I stumbled here after seeing you to process it and… it has become a habit of mine.” Revali could tell he was speaking from the bottom of his heart, and suddenly his own started to ache. “It’s become a place I visit just to… think and feel less… alone.”

Revali felt as if he was frozen even though he could tell that Link was expecting some sort of response. And yet he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. It was only when he felt his grip loosening and breathing quicken that he managed to as much hold his hand tighter. He could feel Link first tense, then relax; perhaps it was enough for him. But certainly not for Revali.

He turned to face him and cupped his face. “Link I-,” Revali started but his wide, blue eyes, looking at him as if he was the most important thing in this world, made him lower his gaze for a moment. He swallowed audibly and looked at him again, this time truly confident.

“I love you.”

The words hanged in the air and for a brink of a moment Revali’s whole life flashed before his eyes as he regretted saying those words, knowing that it would never be possible for someone like Link to love him. He panicked and wanted to run away but before he could as much as turn, Link’s voice echoed in his mind.

“I love you too,” he admitted with tears in his eyes and suddenly Revali noticed his own water. Link couldn’t take it anymore as he buried his face in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Revali instinctively wrapped his wings around him, pulling him closer and letting his own tears fall.

It really was beautiful; two lonely people finding happiness in each other as the sun rose behind them.

Another A/N: Thank you so much for reading, I hope you have the best of days!

[caxsthetic]

Balter

Tendou Satori x F!Reader

(v.) to dance artlessly, without particular grace or skill but usually with enjoyment.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *. 500 MASTERLIST .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The room was dark, the only light that shone through the entire room was the dim light from the laptop screen. You type away at a speed of lightning, but you tried to keep the sound to be as minimal as ever.

There laying in the bed with his mouth hanging open, was your husband. The two of you were workaholics, but you were way too mad since you never take a break.

Meanwhile, he was good with his time management. And sometimes, you were envious about it with how well he could manage his daily life.

You were not always like this though, you were not someone who would type away in the middle of the night, trying to finish all of the report even before the due date.

But it was all changed when your boss promoted you to be the director of administrations. Something stirred in your mind since that day. You felt like you needed to do everything right, all of your work needed to be done perfectly.

It was always like this now, going round and round in circles. Every week, you would always go to the office early and go home late, a habit that started to develop around three months ago.

Your husband notice this, notice how you always conceal the bag under your eyes. So he pulled you to the bed early today, forcing you to cuddle and sleep with him.

But when he already drifted off to sleep, you just can’t do the same.

So you untangled yourself slowly, looking at your red headed husband who still stuck in the dreamland. You were feeling bad from it, but you know you couldn’t possibly sleep if you still had work to do.

And here you were right now, typing away all of the work. You simultaneously glanced towards the bed, making sure that your husband was still asleep.

Tendou never liked how you always did everything non stop. You rarely eat lunch if he didn’t call you at the office, he rarely saw your figure even at home, he rarely got any affection from you,

And he started to get tired of it.

It was cold tonight since snow already started to fall down from the sky. Even when the heater was on and he used a pile of blankets, he just felt like something was not right.

The cold may be the one who woke him up from his slumber. But the fact that he didn’t feel the warmth from your body anymore, was the reason why he decided to stay awake.

He sat on the bed, rubbing his eyes groggily before yawning. His hair was down, cascading perfectly as it fell to his face. You were not there beside him, and he started to get upset by this constant event.

His eyes bore to your figure, letting out a long sigh when he realised what you are doing. The moonlight that was peeking through the curtains notified him that it was still late.

Your typing was fast, and the screen illuminate your face as your orbs solely focus on the screen in front of you,

“Working again?” You jolted when you heard your husband’s voice. Your fingers stopped typing immediately, “At this time? Really?”

Tendou Satori wasn’t someone who could be angry so easily, but right now he was too frustrated to even notice the malice voice that came out from his lips.

He was always gentle towards you, caring for you and just pout when you didn’t hear his warning. So when you heard how different his voice was, you couldn’t help but shudder.

You let out a long sigh, straightening your leg that was folded on the chair before. His gaze piercing right through you, waiting for any kind of excuse that you blurt out usually.

“Y-Yeah,” He raised one of his eyebrows and decided to approach you, “I am sorry, Satori. I-” You stopped when you could feel his hand crept on your shoulders.

The ministration made you moan a little. You could feel how your body relaxed as he started to massage you. No matter how stubborn you could be, he couldn’t get angry at you, at least not for more than a minute.

After all, you were the only woman who could see through all of his imperfection.

“Let’s sleep after this, okay?” He kissed your head, making a smile bloom on your face from his affection, “You can continue this tomorrow morning, you know that, right?”

He expected you to smile and let him lead you back to sleep. So when he saw you slumped your shoulder away from his grasp, he knew that his words were all in vain.

“Just… Just a little more minute, okay?” You stood up and gave him a peck on the cheek, “Go back to sleep, Satori. I will catch you up after this.”

The red haired man could only sigh at how hard you were to crack. He grumbled like a child when you sat again on your chair, focusing all of your thought on your work.

He stood there for a while, waiting for you to turn your head and just shut down the laptop. But after minutes, you are still muttering about work. That’s when he knew he should just go to bed.

Frustrated, he grumbled once again and left the bedroom, going downstairs to the kitchen to grab some water. It was dark as he walked on the first floor. The only light that illuminated the whole floor was the one from the kitchen.

And in the middle of the night like this, his pinky toe was longing to kiss the table leg. He almost yelped, but he decided to bite his lips immediately so he didn’t have to make you worried.

“For shonen jump shake, who the hell decided it was good to put the table near the staircase!” He mumbled while he tried to soothe his pinky toes by massaging it a little, “Oh, it was me who decided that.”

His dark red eyes fall to an item that was put on the table. He widened his eyes, orbs twinkling with excitement as an idea popped into his mind.

This idea? He was sure you will love it. At least that’s what he hoped for.

You were currently finishing one of the reports for the office, ready to continue another piece of work. The truth, your eyes were getting tired already, but your mind just wouldn’t rest before finishing the last report.

That’s when you realised that something was off. No, it’s not a bad kind of feeling that you felt right now. But something caught your hearing that made you stop your works completely.

♪ I been working so hard~ I'm punching my card~ ♫

You choke on air, jaw dropped as a wide grin started to appear on your face, surprised to hear the song in the middle of the night like this.

♪ Eight hours for what~ Oh, tell me what I got~ ♫

Your eyes darted to the laptop screen once again, trying to focus on your work. You started to type, but it was much slower than before.

♪ Tonight I gotta cut loose, footloose~ Kick off the Sunday shoes~ ♫

That’s it, you were done for real. You immediately save your work progress and shut down your laptop. Your feet stride as you were so eager to just see the culprit behind the music.

You were just touching down towards the first floor when your eyes promptly fell to your husband. With a blue shirt and black boxer, he was there, moving his body to synchronize the beat.

It was awful, an awful dance that everyone would laugh at. You leaned your body to the wall, eyes still focus on the man that caught your heart.

A wide grin plastered on his face, eyes closing and just�� listened.

It was a beautiful sight to behold, to see someone could let loose of their dignity and just move their body around like that.

When you first saw him, both of you were in a club. His friends were laughing at him for dancing uncharismatic on the dance floor. But you could see the appeal from how he moved his body.

“Took you long enough,” He extended his right hand towards you, inviting you to the gala of the year, “Let’s dance, my lady.”

“You are crazy,” You said that with playfulness flying around your voice, “It’s 1 am, Satori. We would wake-”

“Just join me,” His left hand was now put on his hips, waiting for you to take his right hand, “Join me to the party where you could ease all of your problems, when else you could dance with the miracle man, Tendou Satori?”

“Uhm, everyday?” He pouted when he heard your answer, making you chuckled to see how childish he was right now, “Alright, alright. Just one song.” You put your hand on his, a cheeky grin was now plastered on his face,

“That’s what they all said at first,” The first song was done, and now you wonder what kind of song that he would play this time of night. He grabbed both of your hands and wink, “Prepare for the night of your lifetime~!”

You laughed when the tune intrude your ear, and the sight of you looking so happily like this, brought a loving smile to the man in front of you,

“Rick Astley? Really?!” You started to bob your head to the left and right, “What playlist is this? I never thought you listened to all of these songs!”

“Well, I know my wife enjoys some old songs,” He kissed your hand and twirled you around, your giggle just blessed his soul, “So enjoy~ Today, your night will be filled with my OK BOOMER playlist, made by Tendou Satori~ Just for his beloved wife.”

You were cackling uncontrollably by now. Your husband, just literally blurt out that you were a boomer when it comes to song.

Both of you were now bathed in the rhythmic sounds of drums and bass, piano and guitar, chants and cries as you move your arms and legs in a frenzied way, losing yourself in the bewilderment of a dance.

Rule 1: Enjoy the Music

Everything feels like you were all in a mirage as you close your eyes, trying to sync your hips to the beat of music.

Rule 2: Relax

Dancing had nothing to do with dancing well, at least this is the rule that you know when you met this man all of those years ago.

Rule 3: You Know What to Do!

Everyone has their own way to enjoy the music. And for the two of you, dancing without style and just absorbing the passion between each other was the way to relax.

You feel free as you laugh at how your husband moved his body. He would bam his hips with yours occasionally, making you almost fall because he used too much force sometimes.

Right now, both of you didn’t even know how many songs had passed. You have been dancing on the couch on Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go, standing on the coffee table as Super Trouper playing in the background, that, and so much more.

“Ooooh! You're gonna take me home tonight,” You stopped when you heard your husband singing the new song. Your mouth hanging open as you realised immediately what song it was.

To say that this song was fun, it is fun that you couldn’t help but snapping your finger to match the beat. But this song would always bring the sexual tension up to the roof.

You locked eyes with him, a smile slowly turned into a smirk. He was on the corner of the living room before, but in second, he stood in front of you, putting his hands on your hips.

“This song is dangerous,” You shook your head, but the smile was never once dissipate, “Oh god, what if they-”

“Shush!” He pecked your lips, a little bit harder than usual, “Enjoy this while it lasts, baby.”

That’s when you decided to let your mind free. Right here, right now, with him on the dance floor. Nothing else seemed to matter anymore as you allowed him to take you anywhere.

The two of you become one with the song, with the crazy dance, and of course, with each other.

There was something in his eyes, something between lust and mischief. And so you put your arms on his shoulders, staring intensely as the song brought the atmosphere to the next level.

The two of you still danced like before, purely idiotic and move with delight. There’s no shame, both of you just embrace the dazzling strangeness and derangement.

But yet, the movement was so different from before. There’s a lot of skinship already right now. You would dance in front of him as he pampered you from behind with kisses, starting from your lips, until down to your neck and bite it playfully.

You turned around, facing him again, a hint of mischief overpowering your worries from before. As your husband for more than five years already, he knew what’s the meaning behind your gaze.

He pushed your body to the couch, dark red orbs even get darkened by lust. His hands started to slip inside your clothes, feeling your smooth skin who was now covered with beads of sweat.

You were panting, due to the ecstatic action from before, and now added with heat as your husband started to create a magical feeling for every second passed.

One of your hands crept at his nape while the others teasingly trailed down to his boxer, trying to give him the hint. He kissed your neck patiently, making you moan out while the song was still blaring in the background, coating the action with a little more push.

“Why are you still up late?” You pushed your husband to the side, making him fall to the ground in a second, “Are you guys having a party without me?! Not fair!”

With the music blasting throughout the first floor, both of you couldn’t hear the little steps from your son. The little boy was now standing behind the coach, peeking at the two of you who were just… dancing.

“W-We were-”

“Wrestling!” Your husband who was now crying inside because he knew he wouldn’t get any action tonight, only smiled at the copycat of him who stared at his parents, “And why are you up, Shinichi?”

“I am thirsty! And I heard some brouhaha downstairs, so yeah! Here I am!” The red haired boy decided to jump out from the back of the couch to your lap, “But now I just want to sleep! Would you tell me some bedtime story, mom? These past few days have been dad non-stop and he was bad~!”

“Hey! That hurts!” You cackled, kissing your four years old son and lifting him to your embrace. The music was still blaring, but now it was changed to a ballad song, “I will clean up our mess, you go ahead, baby.”

You peck his lips, earning a little Eww by your son. Tendou just stood there as he looked at the two most important people in his life. You carefully go upstairs with little Tendou on your arms, leaving your husband to clean up the living room that looked like there's been a fight there before.

He turned off the speaker, tidy up the pillows that were splattered around the room. With you in his mind, he just wants to drift off into the dreamland with you by his side.

The magic from the dance before started to dissipate as he yawned while going upstairs, done with the living room like nothing happened there tonight.

He walked lazily to your shared bedroom, but stopped when he passed his son’s bedroom which the door was wide opened. He peeked inside, expecting to hear your soft voice as usual.

But the sight in front of him made him feel like he was the luckiest man in the world. There on the bed, you fall asleep with your son’s head falling to your shoulders.

He decided to tiptoed inside the room, trying not to wake any of you. His face was comical as he slid himself to the small bed, circled his arm to bring you and Shinichi closer so no one would fall to the floor in the middle of the night.

Even in such a little space, he felt comfortable. He was ecstatic to know that his plan worked perfectly. And right now, nuzzling on the cramped bed with his family, was the perfect outcome that he could ever ask.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*     ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶    *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tagged Lovelies:

@benewol​ @letmeshouyou​ @nitricflame​ @vventure​ @heccingdead​ @muffins-puffins​ @miyulovestowrite​ @nanashinanashi​ @vlovers-world​ @proplayer-kenma​ @kashika​ @cuddlyasahi​ @blacckdiamondposts​ @muffngw​ @baby-boy-taichi​ @of-heroes-and-dreams​ @for-ests​ @giyuwu-san​ @oli-imagines​ @lordeofthunder​ @miyatsunami​ @analyze-hq​​ @tendoustan​@allywritesimagines​

[captain-cyrus-of-the-unreliable]

Sun, Moon, Stars, and My Love:

Chapter 1: Nightmarish Day and Acidic Dreams

[A.N.: I know an author's note is very outdated, but I haven't written fanfiction for a very long time. Please forgive my grammar and story building. It's been easily a decade since I've written fanfiction, and I'm trying to get back into it thanks to my new favorite game. This story is (hopefully) going to be a slow burn fic of Vicar Max x My captain of the Unreliable. (Cyrus Adler).]

Panic and fear... those were the twins that were plaguing Captain Adler's sleep. Those feelings and the many faces he's put bullets in. So many lives snuffed out. Marauders. Raiders. Many people. So many people. All he ever wanted to do was fix things for people.

His heart played against him when he could be afforded rest. The fear of getting his companions killed. This time it was no different. His subconscious was playing out a story of himself standing idly by as Vicar Max bled out. Max was begging him for help. The Cyrus in his subconscious just watched as the good Vicar's skin grew pale and he breathed his last breath.

Cyrus jolted out of his sleep with a cry, his heart was beating and his eyes were darting frantically around the room. He was safe. He was at home on the Unreliable. Cyrus's memory came surging back from the dream and he felt hot tears well up in his violet eyes. The breath was knocked out of him and he began to sob into his pillow.

It was moments like these he was thankful he covered ADA's camera with a blanket. Cyrus couldn't handle the idea of the crew knowing his problems... or knowing he was weak. 'I fix things and people. I am not... I do not want them to have to fix me.'

Cyrus spent half an hour recovering from his dream before he got dressed in his best armor and grabbed his favorite weapons. He paused to gaze at himself in the reflection of his black terminal screen. Dark circles were present under his eyes and a frown was etched into the corners of his lips. Slowly, he drew in a breath and forced a smile. He knew this forced smile would easily trick Parvati into believing he was alright, but it was really the good Vicar he was worried about. Max has always seemed to see right through him as if he were transparent.

Though... 'Vati has always been more wise than those innocent doe eyes let on...

'It'll be okay, just a normal mission he picked up on Monarch. Raptidon Dtalkers have been spitting acid on machinery that Sanjar has been using to defend against Marauders. Kill as many as possible, get paid with a shit ton of Bits, and get a drink at the Yacht Club.'

He breathed out a slow breath and ran his fingers through his short crimson curls. 'It'll be easier than playing Tossball.'

Quickly, Cyrus left his quarters and approached the cockpit, trauma crossed his face when he saw S.A.M. "cleaning" ADA's panels. "Oh, yes, S.A.M. it's been so long since my panels have been cleaned." ADA said in a voice that could easily be mistaken for pleasure. Grossgrossgrossgross.

Cyrus b-lined across the hall to the storage bay, his disgust dissipating as soon as he saw Parvati.

"Hey," he greeted, "suit up, we make ground fall in 15."

"Have you seen the good Vicar this morning? He's coming with." Cyrus rubbed the back of his neck. The redhead always got fidgety when talking about Max or even discussing him, especially today. There was this little voice in the back of his mind, whispering his worst nightmares.

"Sure thing, cap!" Her grin was so bright. She was like the sunshine after a rainy day. Honestly, it just made Cyrus more protective over her. She reminded him of the daughter he left behind on Earth. Even their shared passion for engineering reminded him of Olive.

"Have you seen Max? He's coming with."

Cyrus rubbed the back of his neck, an odd fidget he picked up since being thawed out. Especially whenever he spoke about the good Vicar. Everytime he mentioned Max, or looked at Parvati there was this little voice whispering about his worst nightmares.

'What if you get them killed, hm? Do they deserve to die just because they tag along with you?'

It was enough to make his heart race hard and the breath leave his lungs.

"Yeah, he's been sleepin' in his quarters still."

Quickly, Cyrus nodded and scaled the ladders up to the rec area and to the hall with the various crew quarters. As he reached Maximilian's room he quickly used the emergency inhaler. Once the air was back into his lungs he lightly knocked at the metallic door.

"Max? You awake?" Cy called through the metal. There was brief shuffling of feet on the other side of the door before they slid open, revealing the preacher man himself.

"Do you need something, Captain? I am really quite immersed in a certain text at the moment and would rather not be interrupted." Though his words were stern his tone was gentle, making the tense captain slightly relax.

"I wanted to take you with me for a mission on Monarch. If you are willing to come, suit up. We're going ground side in 10."

The preacher man briefly paused before nodding, offering the smallest smile to Cyrus, "alright I'll come with, captain. I'll be ready shortly."

A smile came to the captains features and he nodded, "I'll see you at the door then." Cyrus turned and quickly walked way, breathing out a breath he barely knew he was holding. He made his way down the stairs and stood by the ship door, awaiting his landing party.

Within ten minutes Parvati and Max showed up in full gear, well... except for their helmets.

"Why aren't either of you helmeted?" Cyrus prodded, disturbed at the thought of them leaving without the most basic of protection.

"Felix decided to put itching powder in our helmets as an attempt of a prank." Max said, sounding thoroughly irritated.

Fear and anxiety bubbled in the captains chest. So many things could happen to his companions under his watch. Slowly he breathed out and said, "we shouldn't need helmets mostly if we do this cleanly and quickly."

He quickly left the ship and they made their way on foot to the location. As told by Sanjar there were Raptidon Stalkers, but also there was a Mantiqueen and her drones. That was an unexpected twist, and his companions took the brunt of what Cyrus would call a mantis attack. What felt like hours was really seconds as he witnessed the Mantiqueen attack his companions and he also watched the two crumple to the ground unconscious.

Cyrus would be lying if he didn't say he saw red, but... he also had this uncontrollable drive to throw himself over them until an Adreno did it's job. With shaking quick hands he switched from his light weapon to a heavy massive gun. With little control he unleashed a hellfire rain of electric rounds on the Mantiqueen and her drones.

They fell quick with the barrage. Only managing to lightly char the captain. As they fell Cyrus threw his weapons aside and scrambled to Parvati first, injecting her with Adreno. The bleeding quickly stopped and she began to stir, but Cyrus was already kneeled over Max when he remembered the acid spitting maniac creatures. He remembered painfully as one of the creatures spit acid up his back, and his own armor, being well worn, failed him in protecting him from the painful acid.

Cyrus couldn't help but to let out a scream of pain, which jarred the good Vicar out of his unconsciousness. Max moved quickly as Cyrus applied some adreno into his emergency inhaler and took it. Whatever bleeding there was stopped and he was alright enough to grab his shotgun and succeed in their mission.

Parvati still wasn't conscious which worried Cyrus more than his acid burns. He lightly scooped her up and started to make his way back to the ship without uttering a word to Max. Of course, the good Vicar was worried, but for different reasons. Max knew that the captain and Ellie, the ship's medic, didn't get along well. He was worried Cyrus would be stubborn and refuse treatment from Ellie... or Architect forbid pretend like he didn't have an injury whatsoever. He couldn't allow the captain that grounded him when he was at his weakest to just suffer needlessly.

Meanwhile, as soon as Cyrus boarded the Unreliable he brought Parvati to Ellie's quarters and demanded she get treated. Ellie was quick to work on Parvati, but the captain went about his work as well, programming the ship to land at the Stellar Bay landing pad. Afterwards, Cyrus went to his quarters and peeled his damaged armor and under clothes off. Even the cool air of his quarters pained him as he laid chest down on his bed.

Vicar Max felt a certain amount of responsibility for the captains injuries. After all, the captain was protecting him when he received his injuries. Max gathered some Auntie Cleo's medical cream that would soothe the burns. Lightly he knocked at the door of the captains quarters, and without listening for the captains voice he let himself into the room. Briefly he stopped to gaze out the massive windows before gently stating, "Captain, I am aware you and Ellie do not get along... and I feel responsible for your injuries. So... if you'll have me, I'd like to... help you."

Cyrus lifted his head a bit and looked over his shoulder as the Vicar spoke. Softly he sighed but nodded, "alright..."

Max relaxed a bit before sitting at the side of Cyrus's bed and began spreading the cream across the burns. His hands worked delicately. At first Cyrus flinched hard at the touch, but eventually relaxed as the pains from the burns disappeared.

'I... miss being touched so gently... so warmly and tenderly...'

Slowly he drifted into a deep sleep and as Max noticed that he smiled faintly. "Rest well, captain... you deserve it." Lightly he set the cream aside and briefly considered something before leaving one of his favorite books on Cyrus's desk.

With a smile on his features, the good Vicar took his leave to let Captain Adler rest.

[ocsxinxpurgatory]

Black Canvas (Riker Ascott) Introductory Drabble

Series: Wynonna Earp

Disclaimer: Riker Ascott belongs to me as does the plot and everything else is borrowed in this work of fan-made fiction off of which no money is made. 

Setting: Season 1 Compliant

Pairing: None

Rating: PG-15 for violence, swearing, and general unpleasntry

Riker Ascott is a new addition to the park and so of course there is curiosity surrounding the Revenant who, as story would have it, was charged with murder, sodomy, and buggery and these are what ended his life. How they all played out is unknown as the Revenant refuses to go into detail about nearly anything which puts him at odds with one Bobo Del Rey. 

And putting oneself at odds with this particular Revenant never ends well...

*~*~*~*~

Black Canvas

“So, care to indulge in a bit of a more informative way?”

Dark eyes, stormy gray with a hint of green slowly shift from where he was engrossed in his most current project before would come a quiet, “If this is about what got me cursed then no.”

“Riker...”

“You don't need to know anything more than that I'm on your side. It's not going to change how things work around here so do us both a favor and leave it alone.” He pulls the brush along the wood coating it in white paint. There is an annoyed huff and he would add on, “I don't understand the curiosity anyway. Do you ask all the Revenants that much of a nosy question?”

“Don't have to,” Bobo answers immediately, “Most are more than happy to tell me themselves. Some find their deeds brag-worthy. What I worry about is the few of you who won't give me much to go on so that I don't know how far I can actually trust you. And me not trusting you, Riker Ascott, is a problem.”

His jaw tightens a moment before he'd make the same huffing noise the other had made before retorting, “I've told you what charges got me murdered by Wyatt Earp. You all don't need to know more than that. Infer what you want.”

“Many will and do but I want the truth of it. You owe me that much at least.”

He puts the brush in the can and slowly turns to face the other. “This has got to be the absolute biggest crock of shit I've heard this goddamn decade, Del Rey,” he retorts, “So forgive me if I'm not so easily bullied by you as everyone else is.”

“Everyone else might have learned a thing or two that you have yet to.”

He was not in the mood for this today. He'd been avoiding specifics of his life for as long as he could stand it because Revs were a nosy, irritating lot and honestly he has no interest in hashing out what had led him to this goddamn mess that was the curse. Ever. “Slow learner then,” he answers, “But my answer is the same, Del Rey; it's not your business beyond the simple facts.”

“Riker.”

His name is a warning and a threat all in one and to be honest, he's had more than enough. Perhaps it was that everyone couldn't be talked into leaving him alone and he'd gone too many rounds of trying to get out of the conversation but whatever the core reason is: it still results in him climbing up the step ladder to the other containers of paint he had before his fingers grip the one on the end which happens to be a bright, nightmarish, pink color and without giving himself the chance to think it through or consider the entire situation would swing  and dump the contents right over Bobo's shaved head and clearly favored fur coat.

The sound it earns him would be comical as would the step back that accompanies it were it not for the next second that has the trailer he's painting jerked violently in his direction sending him jarringly onto the ground before he'd be dragged upwards pink-stained fingers gripping his throat. “That was definitely the wrong way to go about things.” Demonic eyes bore into his, growled tone almost inhuman and despite the paint, Riker is definitely made aware of how unnerving this particular Revenant was. The pressure increases until he's choking and cannot pull in a full breath fingers gripping the other's wrist and squirming.

The fact that this wasn't going to kill him is completely overshadowed by the natural and very human response to being choked and Riker cannot seem to focus beyond the tightness in his throat that was getting steadily worse or the dots growing in his vision. He's pretty sure he's making some muffled sounds low in his throat, almost pleading but there's no way to discern them for what they are as the male just keeps the pressure on him.

He almost passes out before Bobo releases his hold on his throat and that's only to catch him by his hair and hold him upright as he coughs and struggles to breath again. “Here's an idea for you,” the paint covered Revenant growls, “Don't you ever be this stupid with me in the future. I promise you it only hurts you in the end.”

He wants to bite back at him, show him that he's not the type to just roll over; that he never had in the past and certainly wasn't going to start now with Del Rey of all people and something must show because the other draws him in closer, too close in Riker's opinion, “Do not say what's on your mind. Do not. Because you will force my hand and at that point, Riker, you're going to beg me to tie you up over the line as opposed to what I will do to you.”

So he doesn't. Instead, he spits in the male's face with all the reproach and disdain he feels at the current moment for him and his way of dealing with things. And it earns him being shoved backwards which definitely loses him his footing and sends him being sprawled on the ground as the other wipes the paint and spit from his face with a snarl.  

Of course the next move is having the male's boot pressed against his chest which is no more pleasant than being choked. “Maybe I should have just warned you not to be so very, very stupid instead because that, that is going to cost you. Dearly.”

“Th-then have someone drag me over the line and fucking be done with it,” he wheezes out, “Because you are not going to get any information that you don't already have from me. I promise you that much.”

“You like to not listen don't you? I did warn you that what I would do would make you want that didn't I? I wasn't lying.” He presses harder and Riker chokes out a pained wheeze at the pressure on his ribs. “Your mistake was not learning the moment you should have just given in to me.”

Riker squeezes his eyes shut and decides not saying anything right now would probably be in his best interest. Nothing he'd done had been much of a service to him but he was pretty sure his emotions had gotten the better of him. They did tend to do that.

When he remains just still and quiet, the pressure vanishes. “Get up,” comes the annoyed command, “Anymore refusals or acts of idiocy are going to cost you dearly.”

He is sure all the emotions he's feeling are easily read as he opens his eyes but he just does as told; his stance shaky. It's somewhat annoying that even covered in pink paint Bobo Del Rey still manages to be the most intimidating person in that area. He is less liking being drug across the park though he wonders if anyone is paying attention to him or the paint covered male doing the dragging. Of course he watches most get out of the way with varying looks of horror and pity and knows the pity is at him because they're pretty sure this ends very badly.

Problem is, Riker isn't too sure they're wrong about it. He's released by the male's trailer with a warning of, “If you leave and I have to hunt you down, you're going to wish the newest heir to get here and shoot you,” before he stalks inside clearly to get cleaned up. Which meant Riker was going to have to just stand there. Until he came back out.

Bobo Del Rey was incredibly petty when he had a mind to be. Sighing and crossing his arms, the dark haired Revenant tries to just keep himself occupied even though he'd never done well being still and he wasn't putting it passed the male to take offense if he paced in a circle. So he finds himself clenching and unclenching his fists and shifting his weight.

And the time drags until he's sure that Bobo is doing this on purpose. His jaw tightens and he forces himself to just wait reminding himself that there was nothing he couldn't possibly get through at this point. Nothing.

Finally, the male steps out re-dressed but not in his coat. “Gonna be a fun time getting that dry-cleaned. Hope you're proud of yourself.”

“In my defense, I did warn you,” comes his quiet response, “No one seems to listen.”

“Well, let me clue you in on something you should already know; when it comes to anyone else in the park it doesn't matter. What I say goes. So you should get yourself a little more in line than you currently are.”

Riker huffs. “Considering it was just paint and a bit of spit; I'm far from your more uncontrollable problems. At least I'm not out committing murder.”

“You do not know when to shut up, do you?”

Riker goes to give a retort when would come, “I really, really hate to interrupt, Boss, but...we have a problem.”

He's pretty sure Levi is about to face a whole lot of unpleasantries in that moment as he gazes at the darkened expression before Bobo would shift his attention to the brunette. “What sort of problem could we possibly have now?”

There is a long pause before would come, “Someone went off the rails and killed Curtis.”

There's a snarl before would come, “You and I will talk at a better time, Ascott. Stay out of fucking trouble or I'm adding to what I do to you.”

Riker watches the grab Levi's arm and decides that he's not at all wasting this opportunity to get out of sight. Something tells him that there's going to be more fuss and issues going on to keep the man's temper.

However, as he moves, he sees a familiar face and reaches to grab her shoulder. “Do Del Rey a favor,” he murmurs, “There was an...incident involving his coat and some paint and I know he'll be grateful for it to be cleaned.” Releasing her, he watches Bethany beeline for the trailer and continues on his way to continue his own project.

[caelesjjk]

Hellion (Demon!Ashton)

Hello sweet babies. This is the beginning of a supernatural series I’m going to be writing. The worlds are going to intertwine a bit, and you’ll see how thats going to work :)) I loved writing this so much and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as I do. It’s 9k words that im very proud of.

warnings: a bit of violence but thats about it, a small mention of alcohol use

Ivy Jane was what most people would consider a prodigy.

She began her career as an artist at the young age of 14. She painted, sculpted, welded, and drew like nothing anyone had ever seen. It didn’t seem possible for someone so young to have perfected their talent in such a short span of time. But she seemed to be the exception.

She sold her pieces for large amounts of money, far more money than any teenager should be able to get their hands on. But she was alone, thrown into the system as a toddler when she could no longer be cared for. She hated not having anyone to share her money with, but her success pulled her out of foster care and into her own penthouse high above New York City where her manager cared for her, or at least kept her alive so she could continue making him money. Richard was the closest thing she had to family.

But what no one knew was how Ivy Jane became such a good artist. When she was asked this question by interviewers, she simply played it off on her dark past and that she was projecting all of her teen angst into the art. But dark was only one word one might use to describe her past.

Ivy Jane made a deal. Not the type you make with a pinky promise, no this was the type of deal you made with blood. The type of deal that you make at a crossroads. The type that requires you to sell your soul to a handsome devil dressed in all black clothes. He makes 10 years sound like you’ve got all the time in the world.

“Come on then, sweetheart. What else do you need to know?” The demon asked. He was tall with broad shoulders and perfectly shaped lips.

“What happens after ten years?” Ivy asked.

“Your soul is mine, and you’ll be on your merry way to hell. But, as part of this deal I can come to you at any time for a favor.” He picks at his fingernails as if he’s bored to death.

“A favor?” She asks.

“Yes. And you’ll comply, or the deal is void and you’ll go straight to the pits with no questions asked.” He steps around her, his unhuman movements too quick for Ivy to follow, as he is suddenly about 10 feet away from her, sitting on one of the low branches of a tall oak tree.

“What’s it like in hell?” Ivy asks yet another question, driving the demon crazy.

“Listen, sweetheart, I don’t have all night. Either you take the deal or you don’t. Either way your choice isn’t going to hurt my nonexistent feelings.” He rolls his red eyes and lounges against the trunk of the tree.

She didn’t want to go back to that foster home. All she wanted was to be a famous artist, and in her fourteen year old mind, ten years of that was better than any amount of time in foster care.

“Okay.” She finally sighed. “You’ve got a deal.” Ivy put her hand out to shake his.

“Tsk tsk, sweetheart. That’s not how these things work.” The demon jumps down from the tree, his red hair that matched his eyes shining in the moonlight. He grabs her hand flipping it over so that her palm is facing upwards. “This deal requires blood.” He pulls out what appears to be a pocket knife, its silver and decorated intricately. And before she can protest, he’s slicing it across her palm, making her flinch from the pain.

Ivy can feel the blood pooling in her palm and dripping between the spaces of her fingers. The demon keeps hold of her hand, pulling out his contract and pressing her palm against it. After her blood has soaked into the paper, he throws the contract up into the air just as it bursts into flames and disappears behind a puff of smoke.

“That’s it? What now?” She asks.

“So many questions.” He rolls his eyes again and begins to walk to the center of the crossroads. “Don’t forget about my favor, Ivy Jane.” He drops his eye in a wink and then disappears. It happens so quickly that Ivy isn’t even sure she really saw him standing there at all.

Her fame began as quickly as she hoped it would. A painting that she had posted online, was suddenly getting the attention of millionaire art collectors. She had people begging for her work faster than she could create it. She thrived on the feeling of being wanted by so many people.

Richard, her manager, scooped her up and managed everything she was too busy to take care of herself. She was the most sought after artist for several years. But then everything stopped almost as quickly as it had started. She was lucky if she could sell enough to feed herself. Ivy had to move out of her penthouse and into a one bedroom apartment in much dingier part of the city. It was always impossibly noisy, making it impossible to work on anything new. Everything was falling apart even before her ten years was up and she had no idea why.

Ivy saw the demon now and then. He mostly haunted her dreams, but sometimes she would see his face in a crowd or on a random billboard as she rode the bus through the city, always making sure that she didn’t forget about him. But no matter how many times she asked, he never told her why her fame had suddenly stopped.

She was a mess, to say the least. She had turned to alcohol and practically drank herself into oblivion every night just to make life seem a little less shitty. But it didn’t matter what she did, she always woke up in the same hellhole apartment filled with half painted canvases and ashtrays filled with cigarette butts.

Tonight, Ivy found herself in the bar just around the corner from her apartment building. It was filled with smoke and the smell of cheap whiskey. She could hear the clanging of pool balls as they were hit around the tables. But she was currently having a hard time seeing straight after the bottle of vodka she had been nursing the past couple hours was suddenly half empty. The clear liquid burned her throat after each drink, but she didn’t care.

When she tried to stand up from the barstool, she stumbled and knocked over a few drinks of the people sitting beside her at the bar. Ivy didn’t stop to apologize and just kept walking towards the bathroom. She wanted to wash her face and try to sober up before she attempted to walk home.

The sink was disgusting and covered in grime and motorcycle grease, but Ivy turned on the cold water and started splashing it on her face. It wasn’t really helping at all. She straightened up slowly, closing one eye and trying to see herself in dingy old piece of glass that was being used as a mirror. And in her drunken haze, she could have sworn she saw someone in the mirror behind her. She spun around, almost falling over in the process, to see no one there. Alcohol must have been playing tricks on her tonight, but when she turned to look in the mirror he was there again, the demon, propped against the door of one of the empty stalls. This time when she spun around, he didn’t disappear, he only smiled wickedly as fear washed over her entire body.

“I see you’re doing well, sweetheart.” He stands up straight, disappearing momentarily and then reappearing right next to Ivy. “I’ve missed you.” He whispers against the shell of her ear, making her shiver uncontrollably.

“My ten years isn’t up for 6 months asshole, what the hell has been going on?” Her voice shakes a bit when she tries to back away from him.

“Whatever do you mean?” He pretends to be innocent with a smile on his face.

“No one’s bought a piece of art from me for years. Your end of the deal isn’t holding up.” Ivy stumbles a bit, reaching out to balance against the cold red bricks of the wall. She uses her arm to try and wipe the water and sweat from her face onto her leather jacket.

“I said I would make you a famous artist. I didn’t say I would make people want to buy your work or that your work would be any good. The fact that you’re washed up, isn’t my problem.” He waves her off and slowly walks around her.

“That…that’s not fair. You cheated me out of my entire life!” Ivy can feel the anger coursing through her veins and her hands ball into fists.

“You’ve spent the last nine and half years of your life as pathetically as possible. You travelled from city to city and did nothing with your time. Blaming me for your shit decisions, is just an excuse sweetheart.” His voice is deep and serious as he watches her through his round frame sunglasses.

Ivy hated knowing there was a small part of what he said that was right. She had gotten to a certain point in her life where she relied on the deal they had made to get her through, thinking that nothing could screw it up. But making her a decent human being wasn’t part of the deal. She chose to drink and party and let herself and her talent waste away. What kind of person trusts a demon anyways?

“So why are you here now?” She manages to choke out, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Remember that favor?” He wets his lips and pushes back some of his hair that had fallen on his forehead. Ivy’s stomach twisted but she nods ‘yes’. “I’ve come to collect on it, sweetheart.”

“What kind of favor are we talking about?” Ivy hiccupped, still half-drunk, but less than she was before she came in here.

“I need you to help me get to something. Something that I can’t get to on my own.” He continues to walk around her in a circle that is almost dizzying.

“There’s something the big bad demon can’t get by himself?” She hiccups again with a laugh.

“It’s Ashton, doll. Start calling me that.” He finally stops in front of her, looking over the rim of his dark sunglasses.

“You have a name?” Ivy starts to wobble on her feet, feeling dizzy.

“Yes? Why wouldn’t I?” Ashton says.

“I don’t feel so good.” She stumbles forward into Ashton’s chest, but he doesn’t move.

“Ridiculous human. Let’s get you home then.” Ashton grabs Ivy by the waist and hoists her over his shoulder.

She’s too drunk to protest, so she closes her eyes and lets him carry her out of the bar. Ivy can feel the crisp fall air of New York City practically hit her in the face just before she completely passes out in the arms of a demon.

___________________________________

The next morning, or maybe it was afternoon, Ivy slowly opened her eyes. The sunlight pouring in through the sheer white curtains, stinging her eyes and making her squint to try and see around the room. She couldn’t remember much, but there were definitely some weird things happening in her dreams last night. When she tries to sit up, her head starts to spin and the room starts to tilt.

“Fucking hell.” She says to herself.

“Not quite, sweetheart.” His voice comes from the doorway, making Ivy jump practically halfway across her bed.

“You…You’re actually here?” She breathes.

“Do we really need to go through all of this again? You owe me a favor, Ivy Jane. And I’m here to collect on it. End of story.” He walks into the room, leaning across the bed balancing one hand against the mattress and the other holding out a glass of water. Ivy flinches away at first. “I’m not going to bite, sweetheart. We barely know each other.” He smiles wickedly, the dimples in his cheeks showing in a way that made Ivy’s whole face heat up.

“I suppose there’s no way I’m getting out of this?” Ivy sighs, taking the glass of water and putting it to her lips. He watches with fascination as she drinks every drop. “What are you looking at?” She wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“Human essentials interest me. All the things you require to function are kind of pathetic.” He sits on the edge of the bed and watches Ivy’s nose scrunch up in confusion.

“What did you say your name was again?” She shakes her head and rubs at her temples.

“Ashton.” He replies, eyes never leaving her.

“Are you going to stare at me like this all day or?” Ivy pulls the blankets up higher on her body. Ashton scoffs.

“We have a very long trip ahead of us. I suggest you shower and pack a bag.” Ashton stands up from the bed and starts to walk back towards the doorway.

“A trip? You aren’t serious?” Ivy laughs a little, nervousness evident in the sound.

“I’ll get you some food. Take a shower, you smell like a biker bar.” Ashton smirks before walking out of Ivy’s room. Ivy quietly mocks his instructions when he’s out of sight. “I can still see you, sweetheart.” Ashton says from the kitchen.

“Fucking demon.” She grumbles, flinging the blankets off of her body and standing up off the bed to stretch her dehydrated muscles.

“Heard that too.” Ashton says.

“Can you turn off your super demon hearing so I can bitch about you in peace?” Ivy shouts as she enters her bathroom and closes the door. Her back presses to it and her eyes close. She had no idea what she was in for, or what she had gotten herself into but there was no taking it back. She made a deal with a crossroads demon that could never be undone.

_________________________________

“Rome?! As in Rome, Italy?! That’s where we’re going?!” Ivy whisper shouted at Ashton as they walked swiftly through the airport.

“Is there any other? Do try to keep up, sweetheart. We’re in a hurry.” Ashton’s long legs allow him to move in much faster strides than Ivy as she struggles with her suitcase and carryon bag.

“Why me?” She suddenly asks, coming to a halt. Ashton stops, turning on his heel to walk back towards Ivy.

“Because you belong to me, understand?” He says through gritted teeth.

“Don’t you have other contracts? Someone else you could get to do your bitch work?” Ivy stands her ground and doesn’t back away from him.

“Of course I do. But I prefer to torture you and only you, Ivy Jane. Now move your pretty ass, and get it onto this plane, yeah?” Ashton takes off his round frame sunglasses and looks down at her.

“Why aren’t your eyes red?” She asks, ignoring the ass comment. They were a newly gorgeous green color, one that reminded Ivy of the soft moss that covers the rocks in the woods. She didn’t hate looking at them when they were this color.

“I swear, you ask more questions than any other human.” He grumbles.

“It’s a gift.” Ivy shrugs her shoulders and begins walking towards the gate to their plane. Ashton rolls his eyes with a small smile on his face before following her onto the plane. When they find their seats, Ivy becomes curious again.

“Please don’t ask another question.” Ashton sighs.

“Why can’t you just teleport us to Rome? Would have saved some cash on these first class tickets.” Ivy reclines in her seat and relaxes her arms over her head. Ashton laughs quietly.

“Halfway across the planet is a bit far for teleporting. I’d like to make sure we get there, and don’t end up in the middle of the ocean, if that’s okay with you?” He slips his black blazer off of his shoulders and settles in his seat next to Ivy.

“Would it matter much for me? My life is practically over at this point.” Her voice didn’t show any signs of worry, and that was a little unsettling to Ashton.

“Maybe you should try to enjoy what you’ve got left, yeah? “ He doesn’t look at her.

“I’m sure this trip to Rome isn’t for vacation purposes, Ashton.” Ivy sighs.

“No, but I promise it will be better than drinking yourself to death in that bar.” His voice is serious, but he pops in some earbuds and closes his eyes. The perfect way to get her to stop asking so many questions.

Ivy watched the world by pass by her through the window of the plane. The sun was going down over New York and it was more beautiful from up here than it had ever been down there. Something about the way the oranges and reds painted the blue sky and made some of the prettiest purples Ivy had ever seen, was calming. She itched to paint it, to appreciate it just a little. But any time she felt that way, she always picked up a bottle of vodka instead, because she knew she didn’t deserve to feel good, not after what she had done.

“Champagne?” A flight attendant asked as she stopped her drink cart.

“God yes.” Ivy leaned her body over Ashton to take a glass from her.

“No, no alcohol. I need you coherent and completely focused when we get there.” Ashton plucked the glass from Ivy’s hands.

“Come on Ashton, it’s one glass.” Ivy takes the glass back and brings it to her lips, tipping the glass back completely.

She held it there a moment, and nothing came out of the glass. Ivy opened her eyes to see that the bubbly liquid that once occupied the champagne flute was completely empty of it’s contents. Ivy stared at it for a moment, and Ashton watched as her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion before she put the pieces together and understood that he had in fact, made the champagne disappear from the glass.

“No alcohol.” Ashton brings his face closer to her, Ivy’s face still scrunched up in confusion. “Your need to defy me is getting old, darling. So please just do as I say from here on out.” He says the words quietly, only loud enough for Ivy to hear.

Ivy rolls her eyes, shoving the champagne glass at Ashton before falling back into her seat with an annoyed grunt. She hated how much power this demon had over her. He literally owned her life and she had no choice but to abide by everything he asked. But as hard as Ashton tried to be a scary and intimidating demon, there was something soft about him. Something in the color of his green eyes that made him seem a bit more human and annoyingly attractive.  If Ashton was going to damn her soul to hell, maybe she shouldn’t go down easily.

___________________________________

Ivy felt a weight lift off of her chest as their car drove through the cobblestone streets of Rome. It was beautiful here no matter what time of year it was. There were ropes of lights hung across the old stone buildings and a constantly busy marketplace. There was music playing in every direction and the mouth-watering smells of the endless bakeries was almost more than she could handle. The small smile on her face must have given her away.

“Enjoying yourself, Ivy Jane?” Ashton said from the driver’s seat.

“Don’t get used to it. I’ll be back to my wallowing in my own self-pity soon enough.” She turned her head slightly to watch his face. He was kind of beautiful with all the lights bouncing off his prominent jawline as they drove through the streets.

“Always looking forward to that.” He teased as they pulled up outside of what appeared to be a rather upscale hotel. “We are going to crash here for the night. Tomorrow we have a lot of work to do.” Ashton tosses the car key to a valet, like he’s done it a million times before.

Ivy waits patiently as Ashton checks them into the hotel. She kept her eyes on the gold trim and intricate designs of the architecture inside the old hotel. She wished more than anything she had a sketch pad that she could start drawing in. She never wanted to forget the way anything here looked. But while she was waiting, someone caught her eye as they walked by. He was tall, dressed completely in black, with blonde curls styled back away from his face. As soon as she saw him Ivy felt a chill consume her whole body. He was dangerously handsome, and his eyes were on her as well, smiling and biting into his bottom lip. There were two girls under his arms, laughing and not taking notice as he practically drank Ivy in. She felt uneasy under his gaze and quickly turned away to look for Ashton. It didn’t take long, because as soon as she turned her head he was right in front of her.

“You need to come with me, now.” Ashton’s jaw was tense as he grabbed onto Ivy’s wrist and pulled her towards the elevators. Once the gold colored doors shut, he had her pressed against the mirrored wall with his body, hands pressed to the mirror on either side of her head.

“Ashton…” She started to say.

“Listen closely, sweetheart. I only want to explain this once.” His mouth was dangerously close to hers, and Ivy felt herself wanting to close that little gap between them, and it made her stomach twist to think of it. “This city is heaped full of vampires. That guy down in the lobby? He was definitely one of them and he’s definitely going to tell the rest of his coven that I’m here. So now we have even less time to prepare you than I had originally planned. Understand?” Ashton’s eyes never left hers, and she could see flakes of red start to melt through his green irises. Ivy nodded yes in agreement.

Just as she finishes nodding the gold doors ding and slide open to the floor Ashton had selected. He stays looking at her a moment longer before using his inhuman speed and practically vanishing all together. Once Ivy collected herself and evened out her breathing, she found him leaning against the door of their room at the other end of the hallway.

“Are you planning on filling me on any of this? Because I feel like I know absolutely nothing about what is going on here.” Ivy walks past him and into the room. She throws her bag down on the bed only to be startled by Ashton’s sudden presence behind her.

“This favor I need…” He starts, pushing his hair back away from his forehead. “I need you to get something for me. And it requires sending you into a den of vampires with no protection.” Ashton sits on the corner of the bed and watches her face go pale.

“Do I look like the type of person who deals with vampires?! I mean we are talking about the real thing right? The blood drinking kind?!” Ivy paces the floor in front of the bed.

“If you do as I say, then you’ll likely come out of this unscathed. And if you succeed, I’ll add another 10 years to our contract.” Ashton’s elbows are rested on his knees as he looks down at his fingers that are playing with the silver rings on each of his fingers.

“What exactly do I have to do?” She stops in front of him, just a foot away as he slowly looks up at her.

“These vampires…they stole something from me. Something that I need to get back. And they’ve taken it somewhere that I can’t go.” Ashton stands up, walking over to the mini bar area and pouring some water into a cup.

“Where can’t you go?” Ivy asks, following him without even thinking.

“Holy ground. The vamps do enjoy their nightly raves in the catacombs though, which is where you come in.” Ashton hands her the cup of water and she takes it, backing up until she’s sitting back on the bed, head spinning with all these thoughts.

“So you want me to walk into a vampire rave and retrieve this thing you need? Aren’t they going to know I’m human?” Ivy asks.

“Of course. They always have humans at their parties, they need someone to feed on don’t they?” Ashton smiles, knowing that he wasn’t helping the sick feeling in Ivy’s stomach.

“And you expect me to somehow slip right in and not become some vampires blood bag? Do you hear how insane that sounds, Ashton?” Ivy’s voice cracks a little as she speaks and Ashton can’t help smile a bit more at the sound.

“You’re perfect.” He says without thinking. “For this job, I mean.” Ashton quickly corrects himself, clearing his throat and sitting down on the other side of the bed.

“What am I looking for while I’m in there?” Ivy asks, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as a rose color appears on her cheeks.

“It’s an amulet. It’s a pentagon shaped, black jewel on a gold chain. And I’ve got to have it before the end of the night tomorrow when the moon is full.” Ashton feels like he may have said too much to the girl with so many questions.

“And what will this amulet do?” She asked, Ashton should have known.

“I need it to bring back a friend of mine. A friend that was banished a long time ago.” He doesn’t look up, but Ivy can see that the subject pains him a little when his jaw sets tightly and his fists ball up.

“Will you tell me your plan at least?” She asks with a long sigh.

“In the morning. Right now, the human requires sleep.” Ashton stands from the bed and walks around to pull the blankets down from where they’re tucked.

“And you don’t?” Ivy raises a questioning eyebrow.

“Demons don’t need sleep. I only sleep if I want to. This isn’t one of those times.” He motions with his head for her to get into the bed and she doesn’t argue, exhaustion had started setting in not long ago.

“What are you going to do?” Ivy asks, pulling the lush blankets around her and settling into the bed.

“Preparations for tomorrow. Go to sleep, Ivy Jane.” Ashton flicks off the light switch and goes to the couch in the other room. He does his best not to look back at the bed, knowing the longer he looks at her the harder it will be to look away.

He sat on the couch with his plans spread out across the coffee table for a few hours. Going over them again and again. He needed to believe that somehow he would make this work this time. He went through this every full moon, trying to get back the amulet that would set his friend free from his imprisonment. All the other humans had failed him, losing their lives to a vampire, or if they did make it out it was always empty handed, and Ashton was forced to send them straight to hell, merely because he couldn’t stand to look at them a moment longer.

But there was something about this girl. Something that drove him absolutely mad. He hated that human softness he still carried with him after hundreds of years. He cared about her wellbeing, and that had never happened before. And he had waited until there was no other choice to put her in danger. She was his last hope to succeed.

Ashton could hear the soft snores escaping Ivy Jane’s mouth from the other side of the room. He wished that he hated the sound, but it was more soothing than anything else. And before he knew what he was doing, he was on his feet and walking towards the bed. He found himself lying down on the mattress on his back with his arms resting behind his head. He made sure not to shift the bed too much and wake her, but as soon as he was settled, like a magnet, Ivy was rolling over and tucking herself into Ashton’s side. He was frozen, not sure what he should do. Her body against him sent an unfamiliar warm feeling through his human form. There was a look of almost disgust on his face when he realized that he…felt something. He wanted to shake it away, but then her soft hand slid up his chest and gripped onto the collar of his shirt in comfort. And Ashton couldn’t fight the urge anymore, so he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer without another thought.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Wake up.” A voice whispered next to Ivy’s ear. It was so soft, she wasn’t sure she had actually heard it at all. “Wake up, beautiful.” The voice said again. Ivy could have sworn the voice was in her head. She carefully started to open her eyes. “Get dressed and meet me downstairs, quickly now sweetheart.”

Ivy jolted up in the bed then. Ashton’s voice was quite literally in her head, and he was nowhere to be seen. His demon abilities were a constant surprise. She sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed at her face a few times trying to make sure things were real. Ivy wasn’t sure if she had dreamt that she was being held by Ashton all night, or if it had actually happened and the fact that it didn’t bother her in the slightest if it had, was a little strange for her.

She got dressed quickly, throwing her hair up messily. On her way out of the door, Ivy noticed a bagel and to-go coffee sitting on the counter top with a note. Her heart started to beat just a little faster.

Eat this, human. You’re going to need it. Is what the note read in beautiful cursive handwriting. Ivy smiled and rolled her eyes playfully. She held the bagel in her mouth as she gathered her things and hurried out the door.

When she arrived downstairs in the lobby, she could see Ashton waiting for her by the front doors. He was standing there with a small smile on face and his arms resting behind his back. But what stood out he most, was that he wasn’t wearing his normal black dress clothes. Instead, he had on a fitted black tshirt and black gym shorts. It was a very different look for him, but it made him look almost relaxed, and that was something Ivy could get used to seeing. She tried to bite her lip as she approached him and hide the smile that was trying to spread across her face, but it wasn’t much use.

“Good morning.” Ashton said just as she stopped in front of him.

“Is it?” Ivy asked, taking another dramatic bite of her bagel, making Ashton laugh quietly.

“We shall see. Come on then. We don’t have much time.” Ashton turns and then offers Ivy his arm to hold onto while they walked. She raised an adorable eyebrow at him for only a short moment before taking his arm and letting him lead her outside of the hotel to where the car was waiting.

__________________________________________

They drove outside of the busy city for quite some time. Ivy tried to soak up as much of the countryside as she could, hoping maybe one day she would have some time to paint it. But she wasn’t going to get her hopes up, when her only hope was to retrieve an amulet from a den of vampires.

Ashton drove suddenly pulled off onto a side road made of gravel and rocks until they reached a large open field with some wooded off to one side. The sun was hovering off in the distance, really make that red color of Ashton’s hair pop. He stopped the car on the side of the road, taking off his sunglasses to look over at Ivy.

“Just beyond that wooded area, is a church. The church has miles of catacombs beneath it, and I can’t get close to it without burning from the inside out.” He pauses for a moment to watch her face. He didn’t want to do this to her. She was the one human he wanted to keep safe. “The vampires have parties there, almost nightly, and they keep the amulet here so I can’t get to it.”

“And I’m going to find an amulet, somewhere in the miles of catacombs below an old terrifying church?” Ivy asks, eyes meeting his. Ashton nods. “Perfect.” Ivy sighs.

“What do you know about vampires?” Ashton asks.

“They drink blood. Don’t like the sunlight. The obvious things.” Ivy responds.

“Vampires are deceiving. It’s part of their power of sorts. They can lure you in without you even knowing what’s happened. They use humans for blood and sex and these parties they have are practically just for those two things.” Ashton explains, not sure how Ivy would react to something like this.

“Okay. And how am I going to get past them?” Ivy tries to put on her brave face now.

“You just need to fit in. But you also need to know how to protect yourself. Come with me.” Ashton opens his car door and walks around towards the trunk, where he waits for Ivy to join him. She takes a few deep breaths before exiting the car and joining Ashton at the back of the car.

“Can you fight?” He asks suddenly.

“Fight? Fight vampires? You’re kidding right?” Ivy half laughs.

“If things go badly, I want you to at least be able to protect yourself.” This was something Ashton didn’t do with the others.

“I’ve never fought anyone, Ashton.” She tells him.

“We have work to do then.” Ashton reaches into the trunk of the car and pulls out a long wooden box. There are symbols carved into the top and sides that Ivy does not recognize. Ashton opens the box to show her what’s inside. “This is a vampire stake, and you’re going to use it if you need to, alright?”

“You want me to stab a vampire with that? Ashton, this is getting more and more unreal.” Ivy pushes her hair away from her face in exasperation.

“It’s only if things go badly, okay? I’m going to teach you how to fight the best that I can in the next few hours. It’s better than sending you in there with nothing.” He closes the box and looks away from her eyes.

Ivy felt nervous. But it wasn’t because she was about to walk into a den of vampires, no she was nervous about disappointing the demon who owned her soul. She didn’t know why her feelings had suddenly changed, but she wasn’t scared of him anymore.

“Alright, demon. Teach me to fight.” Ivy shrugs her shoulders and motions for him to lead the way. Ashton smiles and walks past her into the middle of the field.

“Show me what you’ve got, sweetheart.” Ashton puts his arms out at his sides, giving her a free shot.

“I can’t hit you…” Ivy almost mumbles the words.

“I promise that you won’t hurt me.” He tries to encourage her.

Ivy looks down at her hands for a moment, contemplating how to go about this, when she suddenly hears his voice in her head again.

You’re thinking too much. Just hit me.

“What’s with this whole mind talking thing? It’s a little weird.” She laughs.

“It’s how I’m going to be with you when you’re inside the catacombs. I can hear you, and you can hear me.” He steps closer to her.

“Can you always hear what I’m thinking?” Ivy swallows hard.

“No. Only if your thoughts are sent to me directly. But I could guess…” Ashton disappears a moment, then reappears behind Ivy, his mouth against the shell of her ear. “Are you thinking of that shiver you feel when I’m near you?” His lips brush against her ear making her eyes fall shut. “Or maybe that knot in your stomach that appears when I call you sweetheart?” The tips of his fingers are brushing up her arm.

Ivy lets out a shaky breath, keeping her eyes closed tightly.

“That’s right, Ivy Jane. You’re mine.” Ashton’s words have a direct line between her legs. Her eyes snap open and she spins around quickly only to see that he isn’t there anymore. Ivy whips around again, looking all around the open field, not seeing Ashton anywhere.

“Ashton?” She asks.

Over here. His voice says in her head. She spins around again, feeling his presence but still not seeing him.

Here. He says again. Ivy’s eyes can’t find him as she frantically looks around. And then suddenly he’s behind her again, pulling one of her arms behind her back and pinning it there. Ivy struggles against him for a moment until he speaks again.

“You’ve got be aware of everything. Don’t let them get behind you, easy access to your throat.” Ivy stills in her struggling when Ashton runs the tip of his nose softly and slowly up the side of her neck. Her whole body shutters.

“Anything else?” Ivy asks.

“You’ve got to be quick.” He says, releasing her arm and turning Ivy’s body to face him. “If they’re coming at you, you’ve got to find the quickest way out.”

Ashton worked with her all day long, showing Ivy as many moves as he could. He showed her some old blueprints of the catacombs in hopes that she might be able to remember something that would help her get out as fast as possible if need be. But now he needed to give her the final touch, one that he wasn’t extremely pleased about some vampire seeing but it had to be done.

“It isn’t another stake, is it?” Ivy teased as they walked back to the car.

“No, no more stakes.” Ashton opened the trunk of the car again, pulling out a white shopping bag and dangling it in front of her.

“What’s this?” Ivy took the bag from his hands and started pulling the item clothing out.

“So you’ll fit in.” He watches her face carefully. Ivy pulled the dress out of the bag, holding it up so she could see it.

“Let me get this straight. On top of everything else, you want me to do all of this in a goddamn dress?” Ivy’s eyes are wide as she looks over at Ashton, who has a big grin on his face.

“Just put the dress on, Ivy Jane.” Ashton shook his head a few times, shoving his hands into the pockets of his gym shorts.

The dress was all black and floor length. Ivy couldn’t imagine fighting a vampire in a dress like this, but then she noticed the slit going all the way up one side of the dress. She was more nervous than ever.

“Turn around.” She makes a circular motion with her finger, asking Ashton to run around while she changed. He rolls his green eyes, turning to face away from where she was changing behind the trunk. After a few minutes of scrambling into the dress, Ivy huffs out a long breath and taps Ashton on the shoulder. “What do you think?” She asks.

Ashton could barely keep himself from completely ravishing her right here right now. Ivy looked perfect. It complimented every part of her. And that slit that went all the way up to her hip, would likely be his undoing. But he cleared his throat, and took a few steps towards her.

“You’re fucking beautiful.” He says with a quiet laugh following. “One more thing.” Ashton reaches into the trunk, pulling out the stake and a leather thigh holster.

“I’ve got to carry that thing on my thigh?” She asks with wide eyes.

“No better place.” Ashton smiles wickedly. “Come here and sit back.” He motions for her to sit down on the hood of the car. Ivy walks around to the front of the car, sitting down and scooting back just a bit, the material of the dress slipping around her leg as she lift up towards him. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure that he could hear it.

“Go on then.” Ivy says, leaning back on her hands as Ashton steps forward with his eyes on hers, letting Ivy press her foot to his chest so she can continue to hold up her leg while he buckles the holster to her thigh.

“Won’t they be able to see it?” Ivy breathes out when Ashton’s hands ghost from the top of her thigh down to her ankle.

“I’ve put a glamour on the stake, they wont be able to see it.” He says the words against the skin of her ankle that he’s moved up to his mouth. Ivy can feel her entire body quake.

“How much time do I have?” She manages to spill out, eyes falling closed at the sensation of his lips on her skin.

“You need to have the amulet to me before the sun rises.” He’s pressing kisses up her leg. Ashton wants her, but he’s got a mission to complete first. He gently puts her leg down and watches as her pretty lips begin to pout.

“I guess I need to go?” Ivy sighs.

“The party will have started now.” Ashton helps Ivy stand up straight on her feet, keeping her close to him.

“Show me where this church is?” Ivy asks, looking down at her feet. Ashton reaches up, pulling the hair tie out of her hair and letting it fall over her shoulders. Ashton’s pointer finger hooks under her chin and pulls her eyes up to his.

“You’ve got so much life left to live, Ivy Jane, so please come back to me.” He leans down and presses his forehead to hers.

“That’s the plan.” She whispers, hands itching to reach out and touch him.

“Come on. I’ll show you.” Ashton’s fingers lace between Ivy’s as he walks her across the field towards the wooded area.

Once they’ve walked a ways into the woods, and the church comes into sight, Ashton comes to a sudden stop. When he looks down at his hands he can see fire trying to seep through his pores. He’s gotten too close.

“This is where I stop.” He presses a kiss to the back of her hand before letting it go.

“See you soon?” Ivy feels silly after she says it.

“Soon.” Ashton repeats. She smiles at him, though it’s a weak one, and then turns to walk towards the church before she changes her mind completely. “Ivy Jane?” She hears from behind her.

“Don’t let any filthy vamps touch you in that dress, yeah?” Ashton smiles, putting his hands back in his pockets.

“I make no promises.” Ivy teases, turning back towards the church and feeling her stomach tighten.

The church is a decaying relic to say the least, there isn’t much left of it at all. The old yellow bricks are lying in random piles throughout the area. But what finally catches her attention is the sound of electronic music coming from one of the piles of bricks. And as she approaches it, she can see that it’s actually an entrance to what she assumes is the catacombs. Ivy crawls over the bricks carefully and begins to descend the stairs leading down into a black hallway.

Ivy’s breathing is uneven and ragged. She can’t see a thing, but she can hear the music. The catacombs smell musty and damp. There was nothing appealing about any of this, and she couldn’t imagine why it would be a vampires chosen place for parties. Her fingertips stayed on the wall as she followed it through the dark. It had seemed like forever, but she finally found the series of rooms holding the vampires and their party.

There were hundreds of people, it could have been an actual night club down here. There were colored lights flashing and people dancing everywhere. Ivy walked into the party area, bumping into sweaty bodies and glass cups full of alcoholic liquid. She had no idea where to begin looking for this amulet.

Find the vampires. They’ll be sitting back watching the humans. Ashton’s voice suddenly said in her head, almost making her jump.

“Fancy seeing you here.” A voice that Ivy didn’t recognize says from behind her. She whirls around to see the curly haired blonde vampire from the hotel standing in front of her.

Get away from him. Quickly.

Ivy rolls her eyes at the sound of Ashton’s voice.

“Um hey there. I heard about this great party.” Ivy tries to sound sincere.

“I know why you’re here.” Is all he says in return.

“For a great time?” Ivy knows she isn’t coming off as convincing at all. The vampire laughs.

“You want the amulet don’t you? The one that demons been after?” He says.

“I um…no. What demon?” Ivy stumbles all over her words.

You’re a terrible actress, you know that? Ask him what he knows. Ashton’s voice says in her head. Ivy rolls her eyes.

“We saw each other at the hotel. I know exactly what that demons been up to.” He says, stepping up closer to Ivy so only she can hear him. “And I want to help.” Ivy’s eyes almost pop out of her skull when she hears the words.

“You want to help me?” She whispers.

“Yes, I do. I’m Luke.” He puts his hand out to shake hers, she stares at it for a moment.

See what he’s willing to do. Ashton says.

“Ivy.” She shakes his hand quickly, before Luke is pulling her off to the side.

“We can do this quickly and effortlessly, understand? One of the older vamps has been wearing that amulet around down here for a couple hundred years. I had one of the girls he’s been drinking on tonight take some things to make him sleep. But it won’t last long, so you’ve got to get in there now.” Luke pulls Ivy along by the elbow, showing her to another room full of vampires.

“I’m just going to walk in there and take it?” Her eyes furrow. “That’s too easy.”

“It can be. Now lets go, follow my lead.” Luke says.

“Why are you doing this?” Ivy asks.

“That’s a story for another time, Ivy.” He smiles, and his fangs withdraw just the slightest bit.

Kick his ass. I’m serious. Ashton comes into her head.

“Stop it.” Ivy says, meant for Ashton.

“Stop what?” Luke says.

“Nothing. Lets go.” Ivy changes the subject quickly.

Luke wraps his arm around Ivy’s shoulders lazily, leading her into the vampire room. She could see the camp he was referring to almost immediately. He was sitting on a velvet chair, a leather vest covering some of his top half and leather pants on his legs. But he appeared to be asleep, the gold chalice in his hands was tipped over with blood dripping from its rim.

“I’ll keep the rest of them busy, you grab that thing off his neck.” Luke whispers into her ear.

I’ll kill the damn vampire myself. Ashton’s jealous voice says. Ivy smiles momentarily.

Luke takes his arm away and walks over to the group of vamps sitting around on the furniture. They all look over to him when he starts talking and Ivy doesn’t hesitate to move towards the older vampire. He’s snoring quite loudly, which is a relief to say the least. One of the female vampires looks over to Ivy, and she freezes, pretending to lean against the chair like she had been there the whole time. The female vamp looks at her suspiciously but then looks back to Luke.

Ivy knows she cant get to the clasp for the chain behind his neck, so she simply wraps her hand around the amulet and pulls until it pops off of him. She looks down at her hand in amazement. She did it. She actually fucking did it. The older vampire stirs slightly, making Ivy jump away from him, and the attention in the room to suddenly turn towards her. She shoves the amulet into the front of her dress, in hopes that no one saw it. They say nothing, but they don’t take their eyes from where she stands.

“Luke…” Ivy says.

“Run!” Luke shouts, grabbing Ivy’s arm and pulling her out into the hallway. Luke uses his speed to get her back to the entrance in no time at all. Ivy can barely breathe. “Get out of here, alright? Go.” Luke tells her.

“What about you? I cant leave you with them!” Ivy tries to pull his arm.

“Ivy!” She hears Ashton shout from the distance.

“I’ll hold them off so you can get out of here. I’m good.” Luke gently pushes her out of the entrance so that she’s back outside next to the pile of bricks.

“Thank you.” She tells Luke sincerely. He gives her a tight smile, before disappearing back down the entrance. Ivy can hear the crunching of concrete and the hissing from the vampires coming from inside, so she starts running towards Ashton.

She’s almost reached him, when someone grabs her from behind and throws her down on her back. Ivy winces in pain, but doesn’t have time to think before the vampire is on top of her. It’s the female vampire from inside the catacombs.

“Ivy!” Ashton yells. He can’t get to her, the closer he gets the more his veins turn to fire. He watches in horror as the vampire continues to overpower Ivy. And he decides in that moment that he doesn’t care, and he uses his inhuman speed to reach the two of them scrambling on the ground.

Ashton can feel the fire start to burn inside him. But he forces on, and grabs the vampire by the back of shirt and effortlessly rips her off of Ivy. When Ashton goes to reach for Ivy, the vampire jumps on his back, clawing at him and kicking the backs of his legs. Ashton whips around, trying to get her off of him while the fire burns and starts to crack through his skin. He can hold back the scream that leaves his mouth.

Ivy scrambles off the ground, ripping the stake from it’s holster on her thigh. Ashton can’t stay still while he’s writhing in pain, but somehow, Ivy manages get up behind the vampire and shove the stake through her back and into her heart. Ivy watches as the vampire freezes up and slowly rolls off of Ashton’s back and onto the ground.

The fire is starting to consume Ashton from the inside out, he has to get off this holy ground as fast as possible. Ivy grabs his hand and pulls him to his feet, hearing him groan over and over from the pain.

“Get me out of here, please.” He begs.

“I’ve got you.” Ivy helps Ashton move and walk back towards the car. Once they’ve gotten to the tree line, Ivy lets Ashton sit down.

“Give me a moment.” He says. His fingers dig into the earth around him and his whole body starts to glow. Ivy watches with wide eyes until he’s back to himself, standing up as if nothing happened. “Quickly now, sweetheart. There isn’t much time left.” Ashton grabs her around the waist and teleports them right next to the car.

“What now?” Ivy asks as Ashton fumbles around in the trunk, gather things in his arms.

“Now, we free my friend.” Ashton says. He picks up a rock from the ground and smashes it over top of the amulet, busting it into tiny black starts of glass and gold metal.

Ivy watches as Ashton hovers his hands above the pieces and began to say some sort of incantation that she wasn’t able to understand. He said the words over and over as the full moon got higher and higher in the sky. It happened so quickly, Ivy wasn’t sure she actually saw it, but black clouds suddenly covered the moon momentarily like smoke and then whisked away as Ashton stood up. The ground shook beneath them and cracked open as tiny black shards of the amulet fell into the earth.

“What’s happening?” Ivy shouted, and Ashton laced his fingers through hers again, pulling her close so that she could hide her face in his chest as the ground continued to crumble.

Ivy looked up long enough to see spouts of fire shoot up from the cracks in the earth, and for someone…or something to begin crawling out of the ground. He stood up, brushing ashes and soot off his all black clothes before he looked up to see Ashton and Ivy standing there.

“Finally found me did ya?” The man from the fiery ground says.

“Only took a few hundred years and a very determined woman.” Ashton answers, walking towards the stranger and wrapping him up into a long hug.

“Wh…Who are you?” Ivy says from Ashton, her curiosity getting the better of her. The man hugging Ashton brings his eyes up to her, stepping out of the hug with Ashton but still standing next to him. The man pushed his hand through his black curls and licked his lips before he spoke again.

“I’m the Boogieman, dollface.” He said with a wicked smile on his perfect face. Ashton elbowed him playfully and laughed a little.

“This is Calum, Ivy. He’s been a friend…since forever.” Ashton walked over to Ivy, holding her face in his hands.

“Did I just help you release another demon onto earth?” Ivy asked. Ashton laughs again.

“Sort of. But Calum and I won’t cause too much trouble.” He presses his forehead against hers.

“And why is that?” Ivy asks, her hands finally finding chest and shoulders, memorizing the way he feels.

“I’d much rather get into trouble with you.”

A/N: there is going to be a very smutty epilogue to follow this in a few days!! but please let me know what you think!!

tag list:  @maoricth @slimthicccal @bbycal @kinglyhood @sugarcoated-pain @shower-me-with-roses @c-dizzle-swizzlex @calumculture @sugarcoatedcalum@calthesensation @cheyenne-in-wonderland @softboycal @moonlightcalum@unconditionalcalum @irwinkitten @singt0mecalum @angelbabylu @5sosnsfw@aspiringwildfire @myloverboyash @cal-puddies @lashtoncurls

[taeken-my-heart]

Lente

Summary:  Reconnecting with your childhood best friend was just what you needed to help heal the hurt.

Pairing: Jungkookx Reader

Genre: Light fluff/Light angst

Word Count: 2327

Warnings: Mentions of mental illness and suicide. Allusion to sex. 

“You’re lucky.” You said, peering out of the floor to ceiling windows, wine glass clutched in your hand as you surveyed the evening sky. It had turned from twilight to inky black as you’d stood at that window, listening to the sound of his humming as he searched through old records to find what he wanted to show you. You could see his eyes search for yours in the reflections of the window, fingers paused along the edges of the box he’d pulled from the bookcase.

“Lucky?” He repeated, “In what respect?”

You shrugged, shifting your gaze from his reflection back out to the night sky. “In every respect, I suppose. Your life seems ideal.”

You could hear Jungkook smile as he came to stand behind you, record gripped in his hand. “Trust me, my life is not ideal. I’ve spent years building it to look that way from the outside. I’m an artist and a musician, it’s my job to create illusions of beauty.”

You took another sip of your red wine before setting your half emptied glass on a nearby table and turning to face him. “So did you find it?” Sometimes the subject was best changed when it came too close to facing your demons.

Jungkook grinned, holding the record up for you to see. “I did, and I really think you’ll love it. Here, come with me for a second.”

You followed him as he made his way towards the couch, ushering you to sit down while he got the record situated. “I found it by pure coincidence,” Jungkook said as he grabbed the needle and held it in place, “but it made me think of you.”

As Jungkook pressed the play button you listened intently as notes began to fill the room.

 I can think of younger days when living for my life

Was everything a man could want to do

I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow

And how can you mend a broken heart?

How can you stop the rain from falling down?

How can you stop the sun from shining?

What makes the world go round?

And how can you mend this broken man?

How can a loser ever win?

Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

 You looked up at Jungkook, eyes glassy as your heart pumped painfully in your chest. Your mother’s happy song, as strange as it was. She used to say that Al Green crooning words of sadness helped her to remember to feel happy.

For a while it was your happy song too, but eventually it soured, left a bitter taste in your mouth as you remembered the mother who’d left you with this memory and only that as she’d abandoned you to the grasp of your emotionally unavailable father.

But now…now it was nostalgic. A reminder of a woman you once knew, a woman who’d shown love and affection in the moments and ways she knew how. A dream of a woman that no longer lived in your now and only in the deep recesses of your mind and childhood.

“Jungkook.” You whispered, but you couldn’t find the strength to say anything else and you hoped your eyes could say what you couldn’t. He smiled, looking down at the record player and closing his eyes as the music filled the room.

Your parents divorced when you were 10 years old and they argued constantly about everything, especially about where you were expected to live once they’d gone their separate ways. Frankly, you hadn’t really wanted to live with either one of them.

Your father was distant and unemotional and your mother was…well, she was different. She had her moments of lucidity when she was happy and positive and then there were bad days, days in which she would sleep half the day to then wake in a fit of uncontrollable laughter that couldn’t be explained. She wouldn’t shower and would accuse you of being on your father’s side, though you’d never said a word one way or the other. She’d played this song so many times you still remembered each word, it had been engraved in your mind so deeply.

As you’d gotten older and chosen mental health as your profession you’d come to realize she was suffering from undiagnosed schizophrenia. You supposed as the stress from the divorce was building and her own personal issues were becoming more severe that she’d just given up because the day after the divorce was finalized was the last time you saw her, promising to bring you back something nice from the grocery store. Only, she never did come back.

At first you’d felt confused because she had fought with your father so hard to keep you. Then sad that she gave up and then angry. So, so angry that she’d abandoned you, and with a man who pretended you didn’t exist, no less. Now there was a gentle acceptance of a turmoil you could never have understood and a longing for a woman you supposed you’d never see again. You didn’t even know if she was still alive.

“You told me about this song, once.” Jungkook said softly. “Back in high school when we heard it that one time in the cab of my truck. You remember, right? We were sitting in that corn field talking about our dreams of getting out of that small town, running away from our problems. You from your distant father and me from my alcoholic mother. If I’m being honest, while I hoped for those things I never actually thought I’d get out of there. I knew you would, though.”

You sent him a watery smile, shaking your head. “I knew you’d get out.” You murmured. “You were filled to the brim with potential and you were so, so smart. There was no way you could have been kept there.”

“I missed you,” Jungkook sighed, running his finger along the edge of the desk that held the still singing record player. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.”

You nodded, bowing your head in shame. “I’m sorry I left like that. When I got that scholarship I couldn’t think straight, I just knew I needed to get out.”

Jungkook shrugged, coming to sit beside you and leaning back into the cushions of the couch. “What happened to you after I left?” You asked, “Tell me about your life.”

Jungkook’s smile didn’t reach his eyes and you had the feeling he was going to tell you something that perhaps you wouldn’t like to hear. “Well, my mom got really sick so I had to postpone college to take care of her; years of alcohol abuse, I guess it weakened her immune system. I stayed and worked at the grocery store, you remember Greg’s right?” when you nodded he resumed his story. “Well anyway, about 8 months after I was supposed to go to school she decided she’d had enough of everything and popped some pills.”

“Oh, Jungkook, I’m so sorry!” You gasped, reaching out for his hand before thinking better of it. Perhaps he wouldn’t be appreciative of that kind of gesture.

“She was hardly there anyway,” Jungkook scoffed, frowning out towards the window, but despite his façade of disinterest you could see the grief written into his features, knew him too well, even after all these years, for him to hide behind a mask of biting resentment.  “So after the funeral I decided there was nothing left for me to do but finally go to school. They’d said they’d hold my full ride for me for a year and since it had only been 9 months it was the right time, I guess.” He shrugged, running fingers through dark, messy tufts of hair.

“I’m still sorry,” you murmured, “I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, even when they’re not what you want them to be.”

Jungkook looked up at you, smiling, and suddenly he was standing. “Would you like to dance with me?”

You blinked in confusion, “but the song has stopped.”

Jungkook marched over to the record player, resetting the needle and pressing the play button once again. He walked back slowly towards you as the notes began to fill the room and held out his hand. “Dance with me?”

You hesitated looking between his hand and his face before smiling softly and allowing him to pull you into his arms as he swayed side to side. You danced slowly, allowing new memories to fill the spaces in the song that your mother had long since left vacant. Memories of running down dirt lanes, swimming in the lake by your house, Jungkook sneaking you out in the middle of the night to drive down back roads just a little too fast with the wind whipping in the windows and through your hair as he helped you escape a night of empty words and hollow eyes at the hands of your father.

Feelings of desolation disappeared after years of no communication between the two of you and you realized in that moment how much you’d missed your childhood friend, how much he really meant to you when you fled from that small town.

Growing up he’d been the only one you trusted in the entire world and now you felt bitter disappointment that you’d left him in the dust to go and find some peace. While you didn’t regret finding that peace you now wish he’d been with you to help fill the lonely spaces in your heart while you’d navigated the new world alone.

Resting your cheek on his shoulder, you sighed, allowing the memories to wash through you. It was a coincidence that you’d met today in that bookstore on 17th and Sable. After insisting to your friend that you would find and purchase The 5th Circle so that you could gush about it with her, you’d completely forgotten in the shock of running into your childhood friend in the fantasy section of that tiny, hole in the wall shop as he scanned dusty tomes, thick glasses hanging from the end of his nose and tongue caught between front teeth.

He’d looked at you, blinking, as though he thought his eyes must be playing tricks on him before ripping his glasses from his face and staring at you in unabashed joy. He’d pulled you into a hug, laughing softly as you’d giggled, spluttering over and over again how you couldn’t believe it, of all the places.

Out of breath and out of your minds, the two of you had stumbled joyfully back into the streets to grab a drink and talk about old times. Lunch had led to dinner and drinks at his 14th floor condo and conversations about all the uncomfortable things you’d been avoiding all day. It was nice to be ending this evening with the arms of your first true friend wrapped around you, holding you close to his chest.

The sound of his voice calling your name brought you from your thoughts and you lifted your face to look up at him. His dark brown eyes, perfectly rounded nose, and soft pink lips all directed at you. He was so handsome, you’d always noticed, but never had the courage to say so.

“Mmm?” You hummed, watching as his eyes scanned your face.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered.

You nearly jolted away from him in shock. Kiss you? He wanted to kiss you? As it was, you managed to remain perfectly still as your bodies came to a standstill and he stared down at you, apprehension drawn into every feature of his handsome face.

You didn’t trust yourself to say anything so you nodded slightly and waited as Jungkook’s hand came to cradle your cheek, watching you carefully as though he thought you might change your mind before bending forward and taking your lips with his own.

His kiss was gentle and left you breathless. You clung tighter to his waist as he kissed you slowly, tenderly, afraid he would break you. Really, he could, you were so fragile after the childhood you’d had. Then again, so was he.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, threading your fingers into his hair and pulling him closer to you, kiss deepening the longer you clung to one another. His warmth seeped into your clothes and straight to your heart, clutching onto you for dear life.

“Please don’t leave me,” Jungkook mumbled against your lips and you pulled back just far enough to see the tears building in his eyes, “I missed you so much. I don’t think I could handle it if I never saw you again. I’ve loved you for so long, I wish I’d had the courage to tell you sooner.”

You swallowed nervously, not quite believing what you’d heard. All those years of wasted time, all those years of secret yearning for the wild eyed, adventure seeking daredevil of a best friend you’d always thought would never feel the same.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jungkook. I’ve loved you all my life; now you’re stuck with me.” You whispered, tightening your hold around his neck and he swooped down to capture your lips again.

His fingers roamed the sides of your waist, settling on your hips as he stepped closer to your body, drawing your lips apart and seeking refuge in the depths of your mouth. You could feel the muscles in his shoulders cording underneath your arms and you pulled him impossibly closer, reveling in his taste and smell. He still smelled of cinnamon and aftershave, after all these years.

“Stay the night?” He whispered, leaning his forehead against yours and you nodded eagerly, unable to respond from lack of breath.

And he soon pulled you under the sheets and you both whispered with gentle touches and small gasps just how much you loved each other.

 This story idea has been brewing in my head since 2011 and was inspired by the song Kiss Me Slowly by Parachute. I hope you enjoy it lovelies <3

Copyright © 2018  by taeken-my-heart (Nora.) All rights reserved.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The Last Pit part 2/2 - Batmom x Batfamily

Finally, here’s the second part. Sorry for the delay, it’s not even that I lacked inspiration, I just got caught in a lot of other stuffs :-). I let you guys choose the ending, between a happy or a sad one...and I’m not gonna tell you which one I decided to write ;-). Surprise. I might have not listen to what you asked... Anyway, I hope you guys will like it ! And that you won’t be disappointed : 

As usual, feedbacks are very welcome

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives 

_______________________________________________

It’s his son’s screams, that haunt him the most. The blood splattered on his face. Each of his actions mirroring his own when he was but an eight year old child witnessing his own parent’s murder...

It’s also the fact that he couldn’t even say goodbye, couldn’t even see your face full of life before you died...You were gone before he reached you, could life be more cruel ? 

Yes. It could. It could by constantly torturing him with nightmares of this fateful night. By torturing him with vivid nightmares, not missing any details of what happened, and making him wake up in a start at his son’s screams, screaming himself. 

That night wasn't an exception. Once again he got the same bad dreams. Once again he woke up, screaming his pain, crying the loss of the love of his life. 

From his bedroom, Damian could hear his father’s distress...and he couldn’t take it anymore. Tonight had to be the night. 

Making sure to not make any suspicious noise while going down to the batcave (though he doubt his father would even notice), he goes to join his brothers who are getting ready to go out and patrol. To take their mind off of their father’s pain, off of their own pain, and to not think much about your death. 

They barely notice their youngest brother coming in, about ready to take off, when his voice, implacable, almost like daring them to resist him, resonate in the cave : 

-We’re leaving now. 

They turn to Damian, surprised, a bit confused as to what he’s talking about. Tim, being the quickest thinker, understands first and says : 

-We’re not ready Dams. We need to prepare so many things still ! If we’re going into this unprepared, then we’re as good as dead too, and everything will be useless. We don’t know how many people your grandfather left to...

-I don’t care Tim ! I want my mom back, and I can’t bear father’s screams every night !! I WANT HER BACK ALRIGHT ?! LET’S GO NOW ! 

Dick is the first to approach his little brother, and with an empathetic look on his face, he places his hands on the boy’s shoulders, squeezing lightly. A fleeting though crosses his mind, about how far they all came...in a way, your death brought them all together. Closer from each other. A few months ago, Damian would never have called his brother by his first name. Hell, a few months ago, he would never even have considered Tim his brother...With a sigh, he says : 

-We all want her back Damian...but we need to think this through, to...

-We are ready Dick ! We are ! We know where the pit is, we have all the weapons we’ll need, we’ve been working on our tactics together ! We’re ready ! I know it ! We’re better the four of us together than we ever been ! I get your back, while Tim gets my back, and Jason gets his back, you get Jay’s back ! WE’RE READY ! What difference will it make if we know they’re ten guarding the pit, or a hundred ? Our plan will be the same. Getting rid of them, taking mom to the pit ! We’re really ready, I believe in us ! I believe in you guys ! And I can’t...I can’t bear this anymore. I want my mom...our mom back. I want dad to be the same as he used to. I want my parents back...

Dick turns to his other little brothers, questioning them with his eyes. Jason and Tim look at each others for a few seconds, then back at their siblings...and nods. Yes. Ok. Damian was right. They were ready. 

-Okay. 

-Okay. 

-Okay. 

-Good. Hum...I’m...I’m glad I...to have...I...I’m glad I have you guys as my brothers.

They don’t talk. The moment is solemn. The only thing they do is gathering in a circle, placing their forehead against each others, their arms around each others’ shoulders, taking a moment to enjoy their brothers’ company.

They get ready in a silence that seems almost unnatural. 

And, after bidding their farewell to Alfred (who isn’t really reassured about all that...in fact he’s terrified he’ll have to tell Bruce that his son too will not come back...But if there’s a minuscule chance that they could save you, then who was he to stop them from doing so ?), they take your casket and put it in the bat-jet, ready to get their mom back. 

************

An entire week. 

It takes them an entire week to finally reach the actual Lazarus pit. 

The first problem was the fact that the cave the well was in was literally across the globe, and it took them almost an entire day to reach the place. 

The second problem was the fact that Damian...lost his way. He somewhat knew where the location was, but it was in the middle of a very thick forrest, where the bat-jet couldn’t go. They turned round and round for three days...But Damian’s brothers never doubted him, and thanks to them and their support, he was able to remember exactly where they were suppose to go. Thanks to his brothers believing in him, he decided he just couldn’t let them down and racked his brain to remember what his grandfather told him. 

The third problem was carrying their mom’s casket all around...it wasn’t easy at all. 

The fourth problem was the actual place...It was guarded by hundreds and hundreds of guards from the League of Assassins. It wasn’t going to be easy...but then again, they didn’t have to fight them all. They just had to sneak in, sneak out. 

It took them almost an entire day to foment a plan to get in, and when the night fell, they got in action. 

They decided to start on the east part of the mounting the cave was situated in, as they spotted what looked like a discreet entrance. There was more guards there, but it was worth to go through the hassle if it could get you directly inside ! 

More decided than ever, more motivated and dangerous than they ever been, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian worked their way up the side of the mountain in a few hours, making sure to be as swift as the wind, and as implacable as their father. Or at least, as implacable as their father used to be...This thought made them even more fierce, and guards were falling by the handful.

The most impressive thing about all of that was the way they handled things. Not a noise. No one found anything suspicious. They took care of guards, and stashed their unconscious bodies so that no one would notice. 

They used the full extend of their training with their father. They were quick to think, like that moment when an assassin they didn’t see almost rang the alarm as he spotted one of them...Dick threw one of his fighting stick, and knocked the man out cold before he could utter a single syllable. It was very impressive really. 

Yes, they used their training to the fullest, and they were so focused on their task that they didn’t even make any mistakes. 

The fifth problem arrived when they finally got inside the mountain. This place was a real maze, and they quickly realized they’d never find their way out on their own...the task at hand was one of the most difficult of their mission, as they had to avoid video surveillance, but also large group of assassins constantly going through, which wasn’t easy because they had to transport your casket...And now, they really had to go fast, because the longer they took to find the pit, the riskier it became that the guards they knocked out either woke up or got found.

But chance was on their side, and they were able to “kidnap” an assassin. It was easy to convince him to help them, as they were rather...scary. Their determination was intimidating. They were just kids, but the look they all had in their eyes made the assassin shiver, and he helped them got what they want. 

Or at least, he got them half-way through. He wasn’t high enough in the ranks of the assassin to know where  the pit was actually located...but he knew who did. 

It took them a few more precious hours to find the guy the man they kidnapped was talking about. He was in one of the barrack build inside the mountain, and they went all sneak mission mode to retrieve him without alarming anyone else. If their father (and you as a matter of fact) was there, he would be more than impressed with his sons’ skills. 

They knew the fact that they wanted their mother back more than anything played a huge part in their abilities that week, and damn they were glad you inspired that in them. You always inspired them to be better, and they always wanted to become better men/boys for you...

Finally, after some hassles that were nothing compared to what they went through..they arrived in the main room, which was surprisingly empty. 

As they approach where the pit should be...They realize why no guards are around. The pit is empty. The last Lazarus pit is...no more. 

Damian falls to his knee. This was their only chance. Their only chance to bring their mom back, and it was gone, just like her. There was nothing left but faint memories. 

As they all realize that they came all the way here for nothing, that all their hard work was useless...Despair downs upon them. 

They were so full of hope. They were ready to see their mom again and...it would never happen. She would never come back. Never. 

They all shake uncontrollably as tears run down their faces. They get closer from Damian, who fell to the floor and is clutching to the stone sides of what used to be a Lazarus pit. They all fall in each other’s arms and...the floor shifts. They go down, down, and more down. 

As they fell on each others they stepped on...something that triggered some sort of elevator. It brings them to a huge rooms and...their heart beat faster. 

Here it is. The pit. The last one. The one upstairs was just a decoy. Of course it was. 

Only problem though...they were surrounded by assassins. Hundreds, no, thousands of them. 

The pit was in the middle of the room, and behind it, were a few stairs leading to a thrones..as if by magic, from behind the thrones, he appeared. 

Damian made a face of disgust. Jason winced. 

Ras Al’Ghul. Of course. 

It had been a long time since anyone heard of him...so that’s where he was hiding. And according to the forces he had with him, he wasn’t on vacation. 

-Well well well, look who we have here, my grandson and Batman’s servants. 

Damian had trouble controlling his anger, but he did. Later, his brothers would tell him how impressed they were by his self-control.

-You’re not my grandfather. You’re nothing. And they’re not his servants, they are my family. Now get out of our way, Ras Al’Ghul, or suffer from the consequence.

The hundreds of year old man took a fake look of surprised...before he explodes in laughter. 

-Oh my grandson you are...

-I am going to stop you right there. I do not want to hear anything from you. I do not want to hear your serpent’s voice. I’m here for once thing and one thing only, and my goal is to plunge my mother in your Lazarus pit. Let me rephrased that. In the Lazarus pit. They do not belong to you. 

The slightly amused look on Ras’ face instantly disappears and his feature tense in seriousness. Clearly, Damian meant business, and the man didn’t bother insulting him by making a long speech. He simply says : 

-This is the last pit in the World, do you honestly think I would waste its energy on some...

-MY MOTHER ISN’T A WASTE OF ENERGY !! 

-Your mother, isn’t the one in that casket. 

-Yes she is. No matter what you say Ras, my mom isn’t your damn evil daughter. It’s the woman that is laying in this casket. It’s the woman that taught me love, and that what you always said about it being a weakness was total bullshit. It’s...

-But love is a weakness. And you shouldn’t speak like that about your true mother, Damian. Because right now, she’s the only reason you aren’t all dead. Love is truly a weakness...See, I love your mother, your real one, and I know that, even though it breaks her heart you think this...nobody in that casket is your mom, I know that if Talia was there she would let you resurrect her. Because she’s weak too, and loves you, and wants you to be happy. Love is a weakness, because I love your mother, Talia, your real mother, and to make her happy, I will try and make you happy, let you use the pit to bring that woman back to life, that nobody. That’s what Talia would want, make you happy...

-You’re making awfully long speeches to basically say the same thing over and over again. And I dare you to call my mom a “nobody” ever again. You’ll see what happen. Finally, right, my biological mother cares so much for my happiness that she got me killed. Of course. Logical. 

-That...Is a story you’ll understand one day maybe. But it is not a story for me to tell. You have an hour to do what you have to do and leave the premises, after that, I will not hesitate to do what I have to do. I let you imagine what it is. Your “brothers” will die, and you’ll never see the light of day ever again. I can’t decently kill my own grandson, but I can certainly hold you. 

There’s a stunned silence, as your sons don’t quite believe what is happening...It is broken by Ras once more :

-It is a shame, Damian, you never saw the appeal of being an Al’Ghul, you never understood what it was to be a real one...Even when you were with us, before you even met your father...You were weak. You always been weak. Not fit to be an Al’Ghul. You have too much heart. I told your mother that she should have taken care of that when you were younger, that she should have not accepted any such weakness....You might have killed and rampaged for us, but you always felt guilty afterward.I always knew you were more a Wayne than an Al’Ghul. 

Damian takes a few steps forward, under the worried gaze of his brothers : 

-I’ll never be an Al’Ghul. Not ever. 

Ras’ Al’Ghul narrows his eyes at the boy, and for a second, your sons are ready to fight, to defend their little brother with their life...But it never comes to it. Fortunately. With an unreadable expression on his face (though Jason would say later that he thought he saw pain), Ras says : 

-Very well. In honor of your mother, in her loving memory, I will let you resurrect that woman Bruce Wayne thought more fit to be his wife than my beloved daughter. Because of Talia, I will let you do it. And because I must admit, you four impressed me, coming all the way here without an alarm ever sounding. You have skills. If I didn’t create that decoy up there, I’m pretty sure I would have never known that you ever came by...Because of all of that. Proceed. Remember an hour before I open the hunt. 

************

It takes them less than five minute to plunge your body in the pit, as Ras Al’Ghul and his goons leave the place (to give you some privacy maybe ? or was it another trick of his ?). 

They decided to “trust” Ras, more because they were desperate to get you back than anything else, and counted on that hour to do what they had to do. 

Jason and Dick place you in the water, and push you in...You disappear amongst the murky waters. 

For an agonizing few minutes, nothing happens, and they start to all think that, indeed, Ras is playing a cruel trick on them...One of them is about to speak when.

Deep breath of air. You take the deepest breath of air you ever took, as your head break the water, and you stand in the well of Lazarus.

Automatically, you reach the side of the pit and...you feel hands helping you out. 

Everything is blurry and confusing for a while until...

-My boys...

-Mom.

You were back. With them. And as they wrap their arms around you, happy tears falling down their faces, you’ve never felt so alive.

************

The road back to Gotham was long. Your sons travelled a long way to find this Last Lazarus Pit. And somehow, you were glad that it took a long time to reach your hometown. Because it gave you enough time to think. 

To deal with this all...dying and coming back to life. You had no recollection of what happened while you were dead, everything was too faint and blurry. You only remembered clearly being shot, falling in Damian’s arms...and then waking up in his arms again. 

You didn’t feel different at all. But...maybe it was too soon to know ? Maybe somewhere between Death and your Resurrection, you lost a part of yourself ? You didn’t feel like you did, but then again, you were just overwhelmed by all the love your sons were giving you. 

They took turn to snuggle against you, to hold your hands. They put the batjet on auto-pilot and just stuck around you. Right now, Tim was resting on one of your side, and Jason on the other, while Dick and Damian were sitting in front of you, your hand in theirs, their chin on your knees, looking up at you in awe. 

Right now, you weren't really realizing what actually happened. You know you did, you know you came back from that but...everything is so blurry. 

The only important thing anyway, is that you’re with them. Now. That you came back for them, thanks to them. It filled your heart with happiness that they’d embark on such a dangerous mission to bring you back to them (though you scolded them for risking their life, of course). 

You were a bit taken aback when you saw that Bruce wasn’t there...but then, then your sons told you in what state he was at the moment, and you swore you could hear your heart cracking slowly, at the thought of your husband being so hurt...You felt a bit guilty, but as well as breaking, your heart was singing, because if he was that much in pain, it meant he did really truly loved you. 

Oh god you felt awful for thinking that, for being happy that he was miserable without you...But man, did it felt great to know someone in this world loved you that much. Hell, did it felt great that more than one person loved you that much. 

Alfred, who helped your boys leaving without their father noticing, and wish them good luck, hoping to every higher forces that they’d succeed. 

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian, your sons, who went across the glove, fought mighty enemies, just to get you back. 

And Bruce, who just couldn't function, who just couldn't live without you.

Cuddling your sons, tightening your grip around them, you couldn’t wait to finally arrive home, and reassure your husband. Because you missed him dearly, and you knew that what you felt was nothing compare to his distress...

Yes, you needed to get back home, back to him, to reassure him and love him. 

The travel back to Gotham was long, and you were somewhat glad because it gave you the time to think...But now, you just couldn’t wait to finally truly come back. To take the life that was taken from you back. And to own and cherish it.

************

When Bruce sees you barging in your shared bedroom, he thinks it was yet another memory of you, just a figment of his imagination, just wishful thinking that was so strong it made him hallucinate.

But when your hand grabs his arm, and pull him into a strong and warm hug...He collapses. 

He’s quite heavy, all muscle and tallness, and brings you to the floor with him. 

It’s like he’s seeing a human being for the first time. Uncontrollable tears stream down his face. His hands touch you..everywhere. They touch your hair delicately, as if you’re the first person he ever saw that had hair. He brushes your cheeks tenderly as if you were the most precious thing in the world. His fingers reach for your chest, to make sure your heart is beating...When he realizes it does, his eyebrows raise, and his facial expression is a mix of happiness, astonishment, relief and utter bliss. 

The initial shock passes, he brings you into a tight embrace, and you give back. Of course you give back. Your arms wrap around him, your hands roam his naked skin, as he only wears boxers...

The fact that everything your sons told you about him and his state is true really breaks your heart...and you let him, though his smell is awful, though his beard scratches your skin, you let him touch you. 

He explores every inch of your body, taking your clothes off so he can feel your skin...this soft skin he so dearly missed. The one he thought he’d never be able to touch again.

-You...You’re here. 

He whispers against your neck, kissing you there lovingly. 

-Yes Bruce. I’m here. 

That night, he makes love to you, as he never did before. That night, he makes sure that his feelings towards you are clear.

He loves you, like he never loved anyone. Like he’ll never love anyone else. And now, you could never have any doubts about it anymore, as you saw what your death did to him. 

Yes, there was no doubt. Bruce Wayne loves you. And you love him. 

Always. 

************

The next day, your boys cannot help but pull you and their father into a group hug. Not even Damian. After all, how could they resist feeling your arms around them when they saw you were really alive and well, and everything wasn't just a dream. 

How could they not be happy to finally see their father as he used to be. 

That morning you woke up early, the both of you, in each others’ arms, and...you took care of your Bruce. Showering with him. Shaving him. Grooming him back to his usual self...but you did more than that of course. 

It wasn’t just physical. In his eyes, his sons could see the spark of life that was back. 

Because you were back. 

And as long as you were by his side, he could only be happy. 

They all could only be happy. 

You were back. Of course more difficult times were ahead of them all as they chose a path, a way of leaving that was never really safe of pain and such...But you were back. 

Everything was fine again...

The End.

____________________

PS : The bad ending would have been the exact same beginning. Then when they finally fight their way through to the pit they...discover this one too is used up, and so they cannot revive their mother. All this struggle for nothing, to stay motherless. When they come home in this part Bruce would have notice their departure and ask where they were, and boom, a bunch of batboys, especially Damian, breaking down explaining to him what they were trying to do, and ending probably on a sentence like “You were gone...forever” or something. I’m kinda glad you guys chose the good ending, it would have been so damn sad otherwise haha. Torturing the batfamily you once again ^^'. Anyway, here’s for the few curious one :-). 

Hope you liked it... :/ I feel like the part with Ras is a bit shit but...yeah, I didn’t really know how to do it. Hope it’s not to unbelievable. 

[joonsjeon]

Invisible // Chapter 8

Pairing: Mark x Reader x Jaebum Words: ~2700 Genre: Angst, Drama Warnings: none

Masterlist

Mark’s POV When she came back out of her room she did not tell me what exactly had been going on, but on the other hand, there was no need for her to tell me. It was only obvious that she contacted Jaebum to hear what he had to say about his part of the story. What he had said to her, however, I wouldn’t know until one of them opened up to me. And just when I thought that my phone buzzed as I received a message from my so-called friend. Can you come in early tomorrow? We gotta talk about (Y/N). Something inside me was… annoyed. The pure thought of talking to him seemed so painful and like a total waste of time. I did not want to behave like a small child, I was the oldest one after all, but what could I do when my body signaled me not to talk about any of this drama ever again? Especially not to talk with the one who had apparently used my trust to sleep with the girl I loved… my jaw clenched uncontrollably, the imagery rolling in a loop in my head all over again making me so damn pissed that I could’ve punched the wall out of frustration. I knew that they had spent the night together the second I stepped into the apartment, but apparently it took some time to really sink in. That time was now. And it brought me right back to the question ‘What if I had just told her?’ Will do. Was all I answered and then turned my attention back to (Y/N) who was still sitting next to me, seemingly just as riled up after her phone call. Whatever exactly happened made her sling her arms and hands around her legs so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Trying to hold back a ramble about Jaebum in front of me. Not that I hadn’t realized many times before but my god, what a mess we were in… a second ago I thought we had finally figured things out and would live our lives on, the way we wanted to, but no. We were running in circles, again and again in hope of finding a solution at some point when really all we did was walk right into the next problem with every new round.

The next morning Jaebum waited for me on the staircase inside the building, a cap tugged deep into his face so that I could barely even see it when he was looking down. Nobody else was here at that time of the day, enjoying to sleep in instead of dealing with such unnecessary drama. 

“Hey.” I said and he abruptly looked up to see me standing right in front of him, my hands buried in my pocket as I was waiting for him to spill whatever he wanted to spill because standing here only fueled my already existing anger. Cutting right to the point was the easiest way. “You wanted to talk?” He cleared his throat while looking at me, insecurity and regret written all over his face and yet I couldn’t find much pity for him inside of me. “Did she tell you anything about the call we had?” he asked and I simply shook my head. He sighed, running a hand through his thick black hair, figuring out where to start and where to stop. It was a weird feeling to see him like this, a sight that would naturally worry me because he was my friend, but not this time. I almost enjoyed the view.   “Alright… so, she called me and said that I was an asshole for going out with her even though I knew about your feelings. When I was trying to explain to her what was going on she wouldn’t listen and said I was lying. Mark, I am sorry about this messed up situation but really I just… if things end now, then I at least want them to end in a good way. Not like this.” He explained to me and I surely understood. Really, if I would have mentioned to her that I had ordered him to go on a date, well then we wouldn’t sit here. However, I had some questions for him myself. “You want things to end in a good way? Then please explain why you left the apartment without saying a word to her. Sneaking out like it was a meaningless one night stand.” I accused him not only because I was genuinely surprised by his actions but also because (Y/N) and I had talked for ages after she calmed down a bit… it was clear to see how devastated she was, thinking that it was her who had done something wrong once she saw the bed next to her was empty.

*throwback* “Mark?” she mumbled with a soft, weak voice and as I turned my head towards her I could see eyes starting to glisten with tears. Without thinking further about it I pulled her close to me, her head resting against my shoulder as I wrapped an arm around her figure. “What is it, donut?” I asked, gently running my fingers up and down her arm in order to comfort her and she thanked me for it by scooping even closer. She did not speak right away, finding her words as she intertwined our free hands and started drawing patterns on the back of mine with her thumb. Besides the fact that she was almost crying, I was lucky that she did not hold back to be just as touchy with me as she was before my confession. If she was still comfortable with me maybe things wouldn’t have to change. A big sigh slipped over her lips before she started talking. “I understand if you don’t feel like talking about any of this, but… I don’t understand Jaebum.” Theoretically speaking, she was right. I did not want to talk about this at all. But what else was I supposed to do with my best friend lying in my arms, tears in her eyes and so clearly hurt about something or… someone? So I just mimicked her sigh and then said it was okay. Even when she didn’t believe me at first, sooner than later she opened up and explained me her thoughts. “We… we had nice dates. Our conversations were so easy and funny, I really like him...” she started, but then hesitated at her own choice of words. “I really liked him. Obviously, I wouldn’t have even considered going so far if I didn’t trust him, you know?” I just nodded in agreement once again disgusted by the pure thought what had happened here last night. How could he? “I simply don’t understand why he left me this morning without saying a word. Did it mean nothing to him?” she asked and I didn’t know if she expected an answer from me at this point or if she was just rambling to clear her mind and let it all out. Either way, I wanted to answer even when I could not give her an explanation at all. “I can’t tell you why, (Y/N)… but I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you. This is so out of character for him.” If it weren’t for the fact that we had known each other for years now, I would not have defended him by any means. However, it really was weird and so out of character that I myself was interested in his intentions.   “I just feel stupid and so naïve.” She said as her grip on my hand tightened. It was hard to tell if she was angry at herself, for going this far with JB in a relatively short time or if the source of anger were his stupid actions. Maybe, most likely, a mixture of both. I really wanted to help her but there wasn’t much I could do besides providing comfort and helping her process what happened. “You are not the stupid one here, trust me.” I whispered, trying to sound confident in my words while calling a friend out for what he had done. However, I couldn’t shake off that nervous, tingling feeling inside my gut slowly but strongly telling me that I had been the stupid one from the very beginning. *throwback over*

“Wait…” he mumbled in shock, eyes wide open as he stared at me and finally got up from the stairs to stand opposite of me. “You – You know what happened? She told you?” Again I just nodded as a first reaction, keeping my poker face on when all that my body told me to do was to punch him in the face. “I would have known, either way, man. Your perfume was all over her.” I scoffed and took a step back to lean against the wall, while he needed some time to comprehend the fact that I already knew what he probably wanted to talk about that morning. “I’m sorry Mark, I-“ he started and his apology might have actually been sincere, yet I couldn’t help but burst out laughing right at the beginning. How would a ‘sorry’ fix any of this. “Sorry, Jaebum? As if it wasn’t enough that you went on multiple dates instead of the one I asked you to, no. You just had to fuck her.” I hissed, the irony uncontrollably taking over the tone of my voice. In the corner of my eye, I saw how he backed off again, trying not to invade my personal space or maybe afraid that a fist would actually land on his face when he didn’t get as far away as he could. I didn’t even know myself where this was going. There was all this piled up anger and hurt that I just had to get out somehow… “I really am sorry, Mark. We drank a lot of wine and I thought I liked her – it just happened. And I’m terribly sorry.” He stuttered, losing the strong attitude he usually displayed and suddenly looking very small with his shoulder hanging down and his eyes glued to the floor again. “Are you seriously giving me the ‘I was drunk’ excuse? And what do you mean you thought you liked her?” I asked on and what he said really didn’t do the trick to calm me down, quite the opposite was the case. He didn’t even like her that way and still had the audacity to touch her? “I don’t have any other excuse to give you… I was drunk and stupid.” He said and then sighed before getting to my second question which was much more important at that moment. “Please trust me when I’m telling you that I never had the intention of playing with her feelings, but… when I woke up yesterday with her next to me… all I felt was regret. I’m so fucking sorry that I ever got close to her, it should have never been me. Mark....” “You are right, it should have never been you.” I murmured and had heard all I needed to hear from him for now. He did not love her. He was as far away from loving her as one could be and yet it was my own stupid fault that it was him who had gotten to her in all the ways that I should have done. I thought I could bear to see him and her together, though it was the right thing to do for the sake of her happiness. Stupid, stupid me… While Jaebum was still talking I went down my own personal spiral of realization. Who was the real problem in our weird love triangle? Not him. Definitely not her. It was me. I had no reason to be angry at him since all he had done from the very beginning was to follow my order, no need to mention that this order was the root of everything that happened afterward. Yes, no denying that he went too fucking far the second he touched her but would that have happened without me? No, it wouldn’t have. And going further, with the intention of not hurting her by staying away, letting her live her life with Jaebum, I had only stabbed myself in the back further. She was devastated and confused about her feelings for JB while I was here, lashing out my anger at him when I should really rather slap myself in the face for being so blind and delusional. By now Jaebum realized that I was not listening to anything he had been saying the past few minutes and the more I thought about it all, the more my heart started to race in panic. I had to get out of here. With adrenaline pumping through my veins I pushed myself off the wall and wanted to storm past him but his reactions were faster than mine. He suddenly gripped my wrist so tightly that whatever he needed to still get out was something I had to hear. I looked into his eyes for the first time, too afraid before that I would literally lose my shit and hurt him in ways I would only regret later on. But now I really saw how terribly sorry he was. The bags under his eyes indicated that he had probably not slept for one second, his mind filled with regret and worry. It seemed like he did not care about anything other than getting me to accept his apology, to get me back as his friend and hyung even when things could maybe never be the same again. I wish I were strong enough to open up my mouth and tell him that none of this was his fault. “Look, I understand that you have zero reasons to trust me but I promise I will make it up to you. There’s something you need to realize, Mark.” He said and I just waited for him to continue. “I know (Y/N) told you that she liked me but really I was nothing but a stupid crush… I’m not the one she wants to be with at the end of the day, it is you.” Even if I did not believe a word he was saying, those words were the last hit needed to make everything inside me collapse. Even the slightest chance of her liking me back would make the quilt inside of me grow to infinity. “What makes you so sure of that?” I asked, afraid to hear his explanation and see that he was right but at the same time it was also the only chance I had to prove him wrong. “The two of us never really talked about you but Jinyoung told me how she was always asking about you… she was worried sick that you were going to end up doing something stupid. And then there was that one time where she did drop your name in our conversation by accident and-“ he stumbled over his own words, trying so hard to make me believe him. “You should have seen her face. She couldn’t even bear the pain of saying your name while you were gone. The way she acts around you is so different from what she ever showed to me or any of us… you’re the one who makes her feel safe and loved enough to open up completely, not me. It was never me. Mark, I wish I could tell you why she is so damn oblivious to the fact that she loves you.” I ripped my arm out of his grip even though I knew he wasn’t done yet but there was no way I could bear to hear any more of this. My head felt like it was about to explode. I heard him saying my name over and over again, sounding frantic as he had in fact not managed to make me listen long enough for the most important part, but with my heart still racing and a booming sound in my ears as it all became too much I just really had to leave this place. Go somewhere else, clear my head and figure out how I could clean up the mess I had created.  

[lil-blue-one]

The Definition of Insanity - Chapter Nine

Elfman was leant on the fence which surrounded Fairy Hills, tapping his foot on the pavement in front of him. He hadn't brought any bags, they hadn't needed it the last time so he assumed they wouldn't need it this time either. He heard Evergreen's footsteps come down the path, and turned around slowly before having to take a moment to digest what he saw in front of him.

Evergreen was wearing sports leggings and a fitted crop top, her hair scraped back into a ponytail as she walked up to him. He took a moment to collect his thoughts as he handed her the coffee and sausage roll he had brought with him. They had opted to get an early night and a good rest the night before, and neither trusted the other to allow them to rest properly if they shared a bed.

"You look… different."

Evergreen scoffed, taking a bite out of the roll as she started to head towards the docks.

"You know, if you weren't so dense it shouldn't come as too much of a surprise that my normal attire isn't actually the best for fighting in. I thought I would get as much as an advantage as possible."

Elfman nodded. It was a pretty good idea, if he came to think of it.

"Did you sleep well, at least?"

She nodded, starting to drink her coffee as they walked side by side along the street.

"And your magic reserves? All filled up?"

Elfman himself was brimming with magic, and he could feel it darting across his skin like a cool breeze. Then again, he hadn't used much in the last week. He watched as Evergreen's wings materialised, unfurling slowly and flapping on the breeze although she didn't take to the air. Elfman watched them, almost mesmerised as they glittered softly in the sunlight. Even in these more conservative clothes she was still shockingly beautiful. He was pulled out of his thoughts as she began to speak, slowly as if she was considering her words.

"Not as high as before, but still good. We may make it through the first round after all."

She chuckled slightly, but Elfman felt the tension underneath it. He could see the boat up ahead, and while they weren't the last to arrive it was still full of their guildmates, both those competing and those seeing them off. He grabbed her arm, maybe too roughly by the yelp she gave and turned her to face him.

"Evergreen. Before we go."

She looked at him in annoyance, before turning her attention back to her coffee.

"Whatever happens out there, it doesn't matter. I am so so proud of you, and I know everyone else is too."

Her face softened slightly, but she still refused to meet his eye as he bent down to place his forehead on hers.

"Whether we come home S-Class or not, I still love you."

"I just don't understand why we have to be on a boat, Luce! Can't you have Virgo just take us there or something?"

Lucy glared at her partner so she could keep from laughing, his pitiful whining as funny as it was annoying.

"I've told you, Natsu! She can come anywhere I am, but I'd have to be ON THE ISLAND in order to call her!"

The Dragon Slayer groaned, turning green just from looking up at the boat next to them. They were still standing on solid ground, but his stupid motion sickness was already acting up. Suddenly, he brightened, grabbing Lucy's shoulders and staring into her eyes.

"I know! Call her and make her stay here with me! When you get to the island, you can call her again and she can bring me!"

She tried. Really she did. He looked so hopeful and scared at the same time, she really didn't mean to laugh so loudly. Natsu wilted, his hands dropping to his sides before he just gave up and sat down in the middle of the street.

"I really am sorry, Natsu. I don't know that I would be able to do that and still have any magic power left afterwards. I don't ever have my spirits summoned for that long, or at such a great distance! I'll see what I can do though. The other Dragon Slayers all seem to have a plan, maybe I can get someone to share."

Lucy reached down to run her hand through his hair as she looked around, a soft smile on her face. Her partner just sat there pouting, his arms crossed over his stomach as if he was already nauseous. Maybe he was. As she looked towards the ship, she saw her best friend jumping over the side, waving at Juvia. Lucy ran forward quickly, coming together with the bluenettes in a warm hug, all three of them beginning to babble excitedly about the upcoming trial. She had a few minutes to catch up before asking Levy, everyone else wasn't here yet.

Carrying Wendy was so much easier than carrying Gajeel. It wasn't just the weight, either. Wendy had cast a support spell on him, which was useful, but also she didn't wriggle as much as Gajeel did. At least, that's what he told her when he insisted he didn't mind carrying her to the docks when she had overslept.

In all fairness, it was probably his fault. He had probably been training her too hard. They had amped up their training towards the end of the week, and although he had let her go early the night before she was probably so exhausted from the week in general the early night hadn't done much. An idea came to him to give the girl a little bit of fun, and he grinned as he worked out how to do it.

"Hang on, I'm going to drop us down."

Lily muttered in her ear as he started circling the boat. Once she nodded so he knew that she'd heard him, Lily lined them up over the center of the foredeck, circled a little lower, and then just closed his wings. Wendy let out an excited shriek that devolved into giggles as the boat rushed up at them. As they came even with the mast, Pantherlily snapped his wings open again, leaning back to toss the girl above him, which of course made her shriek again. He immediately shifted to his larger form, landing on the deck with a THUMP and throwing his arms out to catch her. Wendy settled into his arms as if they'd planned and practiced the maneuver a hundred times, still giggling uncontrollably.

The Exceed smiled at her before setting her on the deck, preparing to shift back to his smaller form. He paused though, when her happiness faded almost instantly, one hand flying to her stomach.

"The boat isn't even moving yet! Why?"

Her voice was so pitiful, he scooped her up again, settling her onto his shoulder and walking towards the gangplank.

"Why don't I fly above the ship once we get going? I can carry you at least most of the way, it won't be a problem. I'm sorry, I should have remembered that you have the same sensitivity as Gajeel."

Wendy patted his head, scratching slightly as she smiled at him.

"That's alright, Lily! You shouldn't waste so much energy flying!"

The Exceed settled her on the dock before finally changing back to his smaller form.

"It's nothing, really. You're very easy to carry. I'm just going to talk to Gajeel for a bit, and I'll come grab you when we're ready to go."

The Dragon Slayer nodded to her partner before heading over to sit next to Natsu.

"Good job, cat. Try to show off an' end up makin' yer partner sick."

Lily rolled his eyes as he walked up to his friend, ignoring the dig.

"I was just trying to entertain the child. Not show off."

Gajeel just snorted, leaning against the railing of the ship and crossing his arms over his chest. Lily silently hopped up next to him.

"So. How'd the kid do?"

Juvia was practically skipping as she made her way along the sea front towards the docks. Gray hung back slightly, perfectly happy to simply watch her as she danced along the sand. The training had gone well, despite the few acid burns that still adorned his skin. Meredy had told him Juvia had excelled, nudging him with an elbow and whispering in his ear that it might be best not to wind her up too much anymore. But the sun was shining ahead, as good an indicator as any that Juvia was in high spirits.

They got to the end of the beach, and Gray had to make steps in order to get back up onto the docks. He held his hand out to Juvia, even though he knew she could hold herself steady perfectly well, and kept a hold of it even when they were back on solid ground.

They had barely made it to the boat before Juvia was barrelled up in an embrace with Lucy on one side, and Levy on the other. Gray couldn't help but smile as Juvia giggled, wrapping her arms around each of their shoulders as they were whisked up onto the boat, Wendy following along not far behind. Something creeped at the back of Gray's mind that he really fucking hoped she would be able to fight them when the time came but he also knew that at the end of the day, when all this was over, they would all need to fight as a team again. Juvia would give it her all, if not for herself then for him, and that's all he could ask for.

"How has your training gone?"

Erza's voice came from his left and he turned around to look her in the eyes before crossing his arms in front of him. The redhead was in her bikini already, but Gray couldn't complain as he did a quick stock check of his body and realised he was currently shirtless.

"It's gone… well. We focused on Juvia, I guess. Went to visit Jellal actually."

Erza hummed, and Gray instantly realised that she already knew that. It wasn't the biggest secret on the planet that she spent many a night talking to the man on the lacrima, he supposed it wasn't too much of a stretch that he would have told her. He just hoped the man hadn't said too much, it was entirely possible the two of them would come up against Erza in the trials and he didn't want to show all of his cards just yet. Not that Juvia probably wouldn't tell everyone as soon as she was asked.

"Well, I'm happy for you Gray. You both deserve S-Class you've worked so hard for it. Just remember you need to keep your cool and Juvia needs to… lose it."

It was an odd choice of words, and Gray was almost certain Jellal had let the cat out of the bag. Erza didn't elaborate though, simply smiling again as she walked off, probably to bother someone else. He sighed, glancing around the assembled guild members before deciding it was probably best to just get on the boat.

"There. That should keep you settled. Oh! There's Juvia! I'll be right back!"

Gajeel opened his mouth to say something as the bluenette took off across the deck of the ship, but he just snapped his mouth shut again. There was no stopping the woman when she was on a mission, and apparently that's what she was doing. He'd just have to thank her when they got to the island again. He wasn't really going to mention that he wasn't motion sick, he didn't want the bunny girl asking Levy for help. There was a very real possibility that she'd help the other Dragon Slayer, and Gajeel didn't want her wasting any more magic than she had to. Besides, watching the Salamander's struggle was going to be hilarious.

Across the boat, the females had huddled together, catching up on their weeks. Each of their training partners had been so focused and kept them too busy for much time with each other. Eventually, after a few minutes of pleasantries and realising they still had some time Lucy dropped her voice to a whisper to try and keep it a secret.

"Levy, I need to ask you something. How are you planning on combatting Gajeel's motion sickness?"

Levy smiled, she always loved talking about her magic and the new things she had learned. She pulled a notebook out of her bag, and flicked through a few pages until she found the one she wanted. Lucy saw a few runes written on the page in a handwriting that definitely wasn't Levy's.

"I… borrowed... this notebook from Freed a couple of weeks ago, and these runes should stop the motion sickness. Seems pretty long term too, it should last until we journey back so if there are any vehicles on the island we won't need to reapply them. If I give you this you can…"

She was halfway through handing the book over when a large body shoved in between them, snatching the book up in his hands before holding it above his head.

"I'll take that, thank you…"

Both girls looked up as Laxus walked towards the back of the boat, waving the notebook in the air as he did and Lucy swore. Maybe they had all underestimated just how sensitive the Dragon Slayer's hearing could be.

"It's okay, Lu-chan, I can still remember how to do them it just means I will have to do it for…"

"No, you won't. You need all your energy for the trials."

Of course, if Laxus had heard their conversation Gajeel would as well. He stood behind Levy with his arms crossed and Lucy deflated. Obviously, this wasn't going to work. Levy shot her an apologetic look, Juvia covering her own mouth as she began to giggle, and she knew that the smaller girl would not be helping her out. She would have to find another way.

Freed and Cana were down in the hold of the ship, Cana studying her cards while Freed drew various runes across the two of them. Each symbol tingled as he drew them with his fingers across her skin, and if she was honest it made concentrating fairly difficult. He had already written many of them throughout the week, trying to spread out his use of magic power, but he insisted that these didn't take up too much of his magic and they absolutely had to be done last minute. Cana allowed herself a slight smile. She had gotten herself the only person who could prepare this much for the trials, and there was a chance that she could actually win this year. And she was taking Freed with her.

He had already drawn a number of runes across Laxus' bare stomach, when they had been the only ones there along with the S-Class wizards. It had been hard to subdue a chuckle as the rune mage settled in between the Dragon Slayer's legs to do it, and even harder to bite back a sarcastic comment but she had managed it. Freed insisted he was the leader of Laxus' body guards first and foremost, and that included protecting him from motion sickness. He had, however, explained to Cana that he had temporarily waived all of the runes that usually covered his teammates, with their permission of course. In the interest of fair play he had also removed ones that would have benefitted him, such as the tracking runes on Evergreen or the runes that alerted him whenever Bickslow got too close. Cana decided not to ask too much about that one. She tried to ignore the twinge of sadness when she realised she had no one like that. Sure everyone in the guild were family to her, but she had no teammates. No one to watch her back. Which had become starkly apparent when the time came to choose a partner for the trials.

"Do you know why we have been delayed so much?"

His voice was a low whisper, obviously still trying to hide the fact he was down here from all of his competitors. And Gildarts too, come to think of it. Cana gathered her cards back into a deck and allowed her magic to flow through her fingers as she shuffled them, finding the cards she needed and throwing them onto the table in front of her.

"It looks like Lisanna and Bickslow haven't made it here yet. Master is waiting for them."

Freed chuckled quietly as he moved to her back, drawing larger runes across the skin there.

"You know, I don't know what I was expecting."

C'mon, Bickslow. Even if you don't come yourself don't drag her down with you.

He had thought Bickslow had gotten over this. He never would have nominated him for S-Class if he didn't. But the hurried conversation he'd had with Lisanna a couple of nights ago told him different. Maybe Bickslow wasn't ready? Maybe he was that terrified little boy again.

Laxus chewed his bottom lip as he paced the deck of the ship, hoping that no one else noticed. He was the Thunder God! He shouldn't be affected by this, by anything! But he was, and he hated to admit it. His three closest friends, and by extension their other halves, genuinely meant the world to him.

"Can you not keep closer grips on your little pets?"

Laxus growled as he looked up to see Gildarts stood in the middle of the boat, careful not to touch anything around him at all. Good. Can't have the clumsy old fool destroying the ship before it even set sail.

"Shut up, old man."

Laxus wanted to send him packing to find Cana, but he didn't want to give Freed any trouble. He wasn't even sure if Gildarts knew who she had teamed up with, the two of them had been almost non contactable since the nominations were announced.

"He is kinda your responsibility, isn't he? You don't see my kid being late, do you?"

Laxus growled, but it hit him hard. The Raijinshuu were his responsibility, and without Freed to keep him in check Bickslow could be halfway across the country by now. When was the last time anyone had spoken to him? Maybe he should go and find Freed… Gildarts must have seen the worry on his face because he stopped teasing the Dragon Slayer and even had the humility to look kind of sheepish at what he had done.

Laxus took a deep breath in order to fight back, when a very familiar scent started to fill his nose. He sniffed again, sure that he had got it wrong. The air smelt overwhelmingly of the sea, along with the assorted scents of all of the guild member's around him but he always had been better at smelling out the Raijinshuu for some reason. But… that shouldn't be right. He shouldn't be coming from that way. Laxus turned slowly, looking over the side of the boat and out across the sea before sighing heavily.

His nose hadn't been lying. Out in the distance he could see two figures slowly getting closer and closer, one stood across what looked like a column and the other flapping two wings. What the fuck had they been doing for them to be coming from that direction? After a few minutes Natsu started whooping and hollering when he caught a hold of their scents as well, and soon everyone was waving at their guild mates as they made their way over to the boat, Bickslow starting to show off as he got closer. The Sieth started to jump from totem to totem, flipping in the air each time and getting bolder the closer he got before he finally jumped free of his totems all together, dismounting and landing upside down on top of the sails. Usually, he knew people wouldn't bother applauding but there was already just an excited atmosphere and he could just as easily pretend it was all for him.

Lisanna touched down gently next to Laxus, who looked down at her incredulously.

"Where the fuck have you been?"

Lisanna just shrugged, smirking up at him before tapping the side of her nose.

"That's our little secret, isn't it?"

Laxus sighed, about to say something more before his grandfather shouted that they were about to set sail, and his attention was taken up by laughing at Natsu as he was dragged almost screaming onto the boat by Lucy.

"Thirty-Four"

Droy looked over at Jet as the two of them stared at the horizon that the boat had disappeared over a long time ago. They had stayed in a comfortable silence, both sat on the edge of the dock as the rest of the guild had slowly filtered away and left them alone. Droy made a questioning noise, not really feeling like asking anything further.

"That's how old we're gonna be when she comes back this time."

Droy suddenly knew what he was talking about. It was a concern that had rippled around the guild in the last week, and it hadn't evaded those who were on the boat either. He didn't think either Makarov or Macao knew that he heard the two of them talking about provisions that would be made if the boat never returned. He didn't think he would ever be able to stay if Levy was gone for almost a decade again.

"It probably won't be…"

"We thought that last time, Droy. We thought it would be a week, tops. Then no longer than a month. Or a year. We were wrong then, and we can fucking be wrong again."

Droy didn't know what to say, looking down at the choppy waves in front of him as they hit into the side of the dock. Maybe they should have gone with her? But what was the chance of hiding on the boat with all the Dragon Slayers there? His hand moved over to where Jet's rested on the stone, encompassing it in his in what he hoped would be a comforting way. Jet simply squeezed his fingers for a second and didn't speak again.

A/N This chapter was so much fun! Starting out the trials, here we come! As always, we love your opinions, and your theories! Theories as to what is coming next sometimes even give us ideas, so keep them coming! Much loves!

Fanfiction.net - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12460904/9/The-Definition-of-Insanity

Archive - http://archiveofourown.org/works/10706709/chapters/25110132

[goshiyachi]

When the heart knew before the mind

Fandom: Haikyuu!! Pairing: Sawamura Daichi/ Ushijima Wakatoshi Summary: Sometimes being a former captain makes it a little difficult to start out fresh new beginnings. Prompts Used: College AU, Same Team AU, Injury @daichirarepairweek

Or read on ao3. 

After finishing Karasuno and getting comfortable at being enrolled to college Sawamura Daichi wondered if it was dumb luck or a stupid joke from the universe to be reacquainted with Shiratorizawa’s former ace, Ushijima Wakatoshi. Sawamura didn't particularly hate or dislike the guy but, he couldn't deny the apprehensiveness he held when he first joined his school’s volleyball team and only to be introduced once again to Ushijima. He didn't shake hands right off the bat, it was more of an awkward side glance for Sawamura as Ushijima made rounds of getting to know the whole team and Sawamura rethinking his whole life during that span of time. When Ushijima came to his small circle of acquaintances Sawamura was shocked that he remembered him. He wasn't sure how he looked to Ushijima but, he was sure enough that his former school’s name gave an impression the way he felt Ushijima look over him with quick eyes before sending him a short nod. Ten seconds of holding his gaze and a cough from being him later, Sawamura decided to be the bigger guy and hold out his arm as a formal greeting. It wasn't shocking to hear the guy ask how Hinata was faring and that it was a pleasure to meet him. There was recognition between them, but not the kind that made Sawamura smile easily but rather in annoyance for a brief moment. Being a former captain helped many ways; and for this case it helped him keep his sanity the way Ushijima proved to be more than the irritating spiker he fought last year.

Getting to know Ushijima was like the equivalent to getting Hinata and Kageyama to score 90s on their finals but, at the same witnessing Kiyoko talking openly to the whole team when Yachi joined. It was hard but mostly pleasant in Sawamura’s life. Besides volleyball practice Ushijima dorm room was pretty close to his that it gave him more opportunities to meet him randomly on the hallways. That and they shared similar hours of classes that when he was on break he could technically find Ushijima and hangout with him if he wanted (and he did 70% of the time). They didn't have the same classes but they did share the same professor for English; the only way he found out was because of another teammate (who was another former player from Shiratorizawa) noticed their syllabus and assignments. 

It was an interesting development to say the least the way Sawamura began to spend more time with Ushijima and not notice right away how his own heart wavered around him. It was subtle. Too subtle for his liking the way he was caught off guard the way he couldn’t look away from Ushijima. After a year of being a captain and then going back to a regular teammate status did a number on him the way he had to relearn to listen to older classmates. For having to step down a notch when it came to carrying the world on his shoulders; it was kind of nice to have more spare room. But regarding Ushijima, that was where he didn’t where to go with their hours of studying together, walking to practice and back to their dorms. There was this invisible force that got Sawamura fond of Ushijima’s smiles and blunt phrases. It was uncontrollable to have to stare at his ceiling at night and reminisce the fluttering heartbeat that engulfed his ears. It was horrendous to be stuck having a childish tantrum when the fear of realization finally hit him. He was never prepared to chalk off a piece of himself for another individual to rule over his emotional and mental time.

Sawamura was in many ways scared of the thoughts of Ushijima rejecting their bond even though he knew that Ushijima didn’t have a problem with people’s sexual attractions in general. He may have looked like an old fashion guy, but he was actually a pretty progressive dude. But that was half of the terrible situation he was in; Sawamura couldn’t find it in himself to admit his feelings as they were both still working out to be good friends. He couldn’t endanger his connection with him with awkwardness and Ushijima trying to be polite about Sawamura’s heart. It would be too embarrassing. Even after talking to his friends Sawamura still couldn’t walk into the hallways without being a little paranoid. As much as he liked Ushijima’s voice he wasn’t in the perfect mindset to drool over him and talk like normal. It just wasn’t probable. So when he got injured the next day he cursed under his breath the way Ushijima took the initiative to walk him to all his classes and pick him. To grab food for them when it was their lunch break, to open all the doors they passed and ask if Sawamura needed anything like pain reliefs. It was almost too much the way he was babied; the whole time he couldn’t stop the happiness that bubbled for having his whole attention. It was mortifying; and something he never wanted to speak about the way he almost spilled out his secret to Ushijima.

“You really don’t have to stay with me you know.”

Ushijima closed the door of Sawamura’s dorm room. It was in the middle of the afternoon as the sun was still high on the sky making the room bright. Sawamura sat down on his bed as he put his backpack down without overly stretching too hard and away from his bruised left shoulder. It was still very sore the way he aching went through the motion slowly. Ushijima didn’t say anything right away as he set down his own backpack. His facial expressions were softer than usual when he looked down at him, it almost felt like time slowed down for Sawamura the way Ushijima sat down next him. There was still a space between them but it wasn’t that much. He could feel the warmth of Ushijima’s body, watch how the digital clock change and how the quietness was becoming uncomfortable.

“I don’t?” Ushijima’s head directly looked at Sawamura’s as he replied coolly.

“Um, no…I mean...”

His eyes flashed an emotion Sawamura couldn’t decipher. “If you are not comfortable with my constant presence I can—”

Sawamura stopped him seeing his error of choice of words. “No, don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for you doing this.” His uninjured hand gestured for him to wait. “I just…don’t want you to think like you have to spend all your time with me. It’s okay if you don’t want to and would rather go out with other people.” “I see.” Sawamura dared to look at Ushijima as he got up and knelt down so he could stay eye level with him. “Then I should have been more upfront with my past actions since the day you got injured.”

“What?”

“I have stayed by your side not because of obligations as a friend but rather because I genuinely do enjoy my time with you.” His voice grew a little louder in Sawamura’s ears from the silence that rested in-between. “I would have preferred a better situation but I must confess that from our introductions in the beginning of the semester I have quickly grown very fond of our time together. And if you are okay with it may you honor me by formally going to dinner together when you are healed?”

Stupidly Sawamura’s brain fried, “Like in a date?”

Ushijima nodded at him with patience, “Only if you are comfortable with the idea of it.”

“Okay,” Sawamura smiled at him while taking one of Ushijima’s hand and holding as he relished on the touch and warmth of it, “I’d like that.”

[immortalave-blog]

Lost Girls an Wild things (a ten page story)

I resented them. I hated them. I wished they’d never found us. They came, they saw our way of life and they tried to put a “Dr..ees..sss.ee” on it.

                                                                               ----------------------------

“The tribe of Sleeperentis overatus was an all-girl, No cooties, area. It’s a place where young girls can escape the troubles of stinky brothers, evil teddy bears, and broccoli.” Sinsin, the newest member of our tribe, followed me eagerly through the all you can eat candy buffet. “It’s a place of innovation and excitement. There is never a dull moment here, but if you find yourself not entertained, you can visit on of the many workshops located around the tribe grounds. For example, Sinestra teaches a workshop on finger painting every 30 seconds.” I pointed at Sinestra, who was laying back on a rock and snoring. A snot bubble grew and shrunk with her breath. “She looks like she’s on break right now, so it might be a while before the next class.”

We continued around the toadstool paint mixers and the braiding circles. I continued, “Sleeperentis Overatus is the place we come to in order to learn how earthworms feel when they are squished under our toes, how many crayons we can eat without being sick, and how to burn baby ants.” We passed the racecar tracks and the marble routes. We passed through the squishy frog pits and then we reached the edge of the highest hill.

I motioned to the view, “We are located on the outside edges of the Treehouse kingdom. On the opposite side from the tribe, “No girls allowed”. That’s where the boys are, and as shown by their group name, they are very uncreative. Our Kingdom is self-governed, self-sufficient, and self-….. I don’t remember what the third one was… But anyway,” I turned Sinsin to face the entirety of the tribe.  

“As you can see our kingdom is made mostly out of what nature provided us with, and what we found around us. Blankets, stuffed animals, toothbrushes, pillows, and towels, were all put together for the betterment of our society. We built our mansions from the ground up, and we were all proud of it.” We took the soda pop slides down the big hill, which concluded our tour.

“My name is Cinder. I am one of the tribe council members her in Sleperentis Overatus. I have a degree is counting dust-bunnies, and I’m the tribe’s explosive/technical tantrums expert. Which makes me a leader in social justice throughout the community. I also have a strong inclination toward technical devices. Such as The Barbie cell phone, anamorpherators, and the G.I. Joe Jet plane. Ohh and don’t even try to build Legos better than me. I can tell you now, you can’t. I strongly believe everything a girl does should be messy, and if you aren’t covered in mud or finger paint, you’re doing it wrong. I have been in charge of this council for 15 min, and it has felt like years. The changes I have made have been beneficial to all. Especially me. What? Would you not create a drainage system out of Legos, fizzle sticks, and giant sponges that also double as a trampoline? I know I would, and I did. There is a story behind my name, but I’ll get into it later.

               If you have any problems at all, contact Morgana. She’s the eldest, and she will know what to do.” I paused and looked at my watch, “Ohh popsicles, I’m late” I said aloud, and ran to the Council center. It was an important meeting place because I was running it.

-- ---- ---- -------------- --

“What’s a Dress?” Toranu asked. She was sitting on one of the cut up logs surrounding the elevated sandbox that functions as our round table.

               “It is something that binds you,” I said as I stared into her eyes. ”It covers your skin, but not like armor. Its material is weak, and could easily be shredded by a winged worm, much less a Hanectin. It’s like they aren’t even accounting for them. They are stupid, primitive beings.”

               “Is it true they wear armor on their feet?” Saratoni asked. She was sitting cross-legged, as always, on the log she occupied… show off.

               “It is true,” I continued,” Their feet do not have the strength that ours do. They fear the hot ground. Sheltering their feet from their true calloused potential. Their worst offense is that these shoeeesss are for fashion more than they are for utility. But that’s just the beginning. Have you all heard their worst offense?” The council leaned forward. Their eyes wide. They leaned forward in anticip…

“That’s enough Cinder.” Morgana stood.  ”There is no need to scare them.” She stood up and got onto the table. She did it with such grace and efficiency. Whereas when I had done it, I had stumbled and almost fallen. Her robes, made by silkworms and spiders shimmered in the afternoon light. My robes were made of an old potato sack and dental floss. They were covered in mud still wet from the Soda pop falls. Her hair was long and clean, whereas mine was short and choppy. Basically, she made me feel inferior just with her presence, and that’s why I respected her so much.

I took the seat she had left to silence me. I felt useless, all the attention that I had worked hard for was stolen away by Morgana. It didn’t help she was had been my BFF forever.

--------

Grizzledomor: (A.K.A: Bearded Dad) Known for Their facial hair, Often tells jokes that are only amusing to each other. Commonly known as “Dad Jokes”. They are not usually violent and spend most of their time with Hearthrops.

Hearthrops: (A.K.A. “the mom card”) these creatures are very much caring….until they are not, they despise messy spaces, and often clean them. They spend all day “Nagging” their partners.

Disclaimer: Any and all combinations of Grizzledomors and Hearthrops can exist. All is socially, economically, and politically acceptable.

                                               ------------------------------------------------

               “Why’d you do that? I had their interest. I could change their minds. I had them.”

               “You had them in fear Cinder,” Morgana said. “That is not how you lead a tribe. Not through fear, through hope.”

“You’re wrong. They believed me.” I crossed my arms in my patented professional tantrum position.

“You are not pulling that malarkey on me,” I kept my pouty face at a prime. “You will never learn. How are you going to run this tribe? You are not ready” She said the last quip firmly.

“You BUTTERSCOTCH!” I screamed, and I stormed away. I went straight to my bed and grumbled until I pouted myself out, and I fell asleep

------------------------

The next day the council met, but Morgana wasn’t there. It was weird because she was always 15 min early or 15 min late. This time she was neither. I went to her Victorian treehouse mansion. It took me 30 seconds, but when I returned with no Morgana, the council was asleep. When they awoke, they panicked.

               “This is an outrage,” Hilenestra said. “That was the last straw, we are all scared.”

               “I understand, but we cannot rush into action. We need to figure out where she is “

               “But the tribe, Sleeperentis Overatus, Must prevail,” I said. “But without morgana who will take charge?”

               “Does anyone have any ideas?” Toranu said.

The council hushed, waited for anyone to speak. No one did. Then all eyes turned towards me.

               “What if we sent someone after her?” I said, “Find out where she went.”

               “That’s not a bad idea,” said Saratoni “Is anyone willing to go?”

               After a moment of silence, council members decided in the ancient traditional way. Their fingers snapped to touch the tip of their noses being careful not to smudge their war paint.

               I was the last, but only by a millisecond.

               “Wait but I’m not qualif…”

               “Hush,” Saratoni said. “You are plenty qualified for this mission. If you require assistance you may take one other with you, but that is it. We cannot spare anyone else.” Everyone, except for me, stomped their feet and the session was adjourned.

               What had I gotten myself into?

-----------------------------

               No one was brave enough to come with me, and I didn’t blame them. So instead, I took my teddy bear named Kenai with me. He was good company and seriously loved eating grilled cheese sandwiches. Which I packed in my backpack, along with juice boxes, some nerds candy rope, a hellomacdula for disguise, and my cocooned caterpillar Peeps. He was still in his cage so I put him in the bottom of my backpack for safe keeping. I was far from ready, but it was time to go. The Tribe was waiting for me at the tribe gates.

               “You’ll do great,” Sinsin whispered and winked at me. Hannara was on her left. She was the officially official war paint artist. She grabbed some toothpaste from her bag; she mixed it with mud, berries, melted crayon, and glitter glue. She then took two fingers, scooped up some of the goo and put it on my face. I will not lie. It hurt, but I didn’t want to look as scared as I was. So I took a breath, my eyes watered from the toothpaste, turned towards the door, I inhaled some glitter glue, and headed out of the camp. I started walking, and after 2 seconds, my thoughts got the best of me.

               Earlier I was talking about my name. My name is Cinder. It was given to me by Morgana when I was first accepted into Sleperentis Overatus. It’s a strange name, isn’t it? But I like it because it’s just as unique as I am. I think. It’s so weird to think about the tribe without Morgana. She had been a pivotal point in the development of the tribe, and of me. I used to not be able to control my explosive tantrums at all. Honestly, they kept me from a lot of things. Especially other people. But Morgana had taught me to control my power, and harness it for good. She and I used to practice, all the time. So that’s where I think I got my name. I was the Cinders left after an uncontrolled fire.

“Cinder? As in Cinderella?” a low grumbling voice echoed on the branches.

               Ohh no, I thought

               “Are you a girl? Or an Ember?” It grumbled, “Because IIIIII am hungry, and if you’re a girl I can eat you, but if you aren’t then I cannot.

                What is it? I thought.

               “C’mon, you know me. I can see that you know me. Come out and play”

                               “Ohh no,” I said.

                               “Ohh yesss”

                               Before the Gossishnuzzle finished its last “S”. I was running.

No, don’t talk to me. You don’t get to know me because my secrets are mine. You will not change them.                

               Vines seemed to grow up from the forest. They snagged onto my bare feet and I fell face first on a gray cement square.

-----------------------

Gossishnuzzle: A.K.A: Rumor Weed. This nasty little vermin will disguise itself as your friend until you tell it something it can use. Rumor Weeds once started, are difficult to stop. They tell everyone half-truths about you. That are usually quite embarrassing.

-----------------------

                My veins were throbbing with the weight of my movements.

               If I stay here, they’ll come and save me. Stay in one spot when you realize you’re lost.

               Wait…what? No. No one will save you, you’re on your own

               I should run….Run.

               I tried to stand up, but I couldn’t. I turned over onto my back and looked at my foot. It was wrapped in vines. Lime green colored and smelled of dandelion, and somewhat disgusting looking.

               “That’s not very nice,” It said. The vines molded and grew until it made a shape that resembled, well me except it looked older. Kinda like Morgana’s age. Which was weird. It also wore one of those “Dresssss” Things. Its grip was tightening.

               “Do you like it?” The Rumor Weed asked.

               “It’s so yellow,” I said.

               “Yes, it is,” The Rumor Weed loosened its grip on my leg as it showed off its pale yellow dress. “It was dyed with Mustard, and soaked in dandelion juice.

               “No, it wasn’t,” I said.

               “Yes, it was.” The Rumor weed crossed her arms in my professional patented pouty stance and stuck up her nose.

               Sockertoph, do I look like that? I thought. How Childish.

               “It would be sticky and gross if that had happened to it,” I snapped at it. It stuck its nose higher.

               “How would you know? Huh? You are a technical dress dying, expert.”

               “You’re right.” I said,” but I do have common sense, and have eaten my fair share of both mustard and dandelion flowers. So I would say I know enough to say that your dress was not dyed with that.”

               With this, the rumor weed turned towards me. She balled her hands into fists and flung them down by her side. Her shoulder then rushed up to her ears, and she took a big gulp in and held her breath. Her vines loosened.

               “I bet you can’t hold your breath longer than I can stick out my tongue.” I teased. She accepted the bait, and the vines loosened even more. I stuck out my tongue. With a little squirming, and since the rumor weed wasn’t breathing I was able to kick my foot free. She didn’t try to stop me. She was too focused on winning. To focused on being better than me. So I stood up and gathered my things. She hadn’t moved the whole time. I turned towards her. Pointed at the tongue, that was now dry, but still sticking out of my mouth. I then turned and walked away.

                                                               ------------------------------------------

               Soon after my encounter with the Rumor Weed/Gossishnuzzle, I put my tongue back in my mouth. It was super dry so I grabbed a Juice pouch from my backpack, and after first giving some to Kenai, I drank it.

               Respect the pouch, Respect it. I thought.

               Then I blew up the pouch with the air in my lungs and saved it for later. You never know when you’ll need a good explosive. I was tired, and I was almost to where I thought Morgana would have gone. Why did I think this? You may ask yourself this, but let me tell you it’s for me to know and you to find ou….Just kidding I’ll tell you. The Candy Land trail, it was the game that Morgana and I Used to play between Pitshals, and Flabbernuggets. If she had gone anywhere, it would be the candy castle.

                                               --------------------------------------------------------------

               After I took an impromptu nap, I started on my quest again. I decided I was wasting too much time trying to feed Kenai grilled cheese sandwiches. He was hungry. I was sure, but he was mad at me because I made him miss his tea party date with Stratoni’s Pegasus.

               Bears am I right.

               After some wandering I found the trail, I had been looking for. It was the shortcut that would lead me directly to the palace, but I had to hurry because it was getting late. I walked up to the fork in the road and heard a grunt. Leaning against the arrow sign was a girl a little older than me. Her face was entirely covered in make-up, her hair was just as black as her clothes, and her boots squeaked when she moved them.

               “Don’t bother” It said.

               “Why not?” I snapped, “Why do you think you can tell me what to do?”

               “I don’t care,” she said, “At least I’m not as bad as parents, am I right?”

               “Parents?” I inquired.

               “You don’t have parents? You’re lucky. All they do is yell, nag, yell, and I got sick of it. I’m my own independent woman, and they’re sitting like….”

(I censored the next few things this girl said. She used some language I am unfamiliar with, but I doubt is appropriate for young readers, you’re welcome.)

I left the, what I later found out was a Teenangster, with herself as she seemed to be self-destructing, and took the “Gloppy trail” This was the short cut the Candy Castle.

                                                               --------------------------------------------------------

               It was starting to get dark, and I didn’t have a plan.

               Ohh numbnuts, I thought. You didn’t pack anything for sleeping. So I kept walking. Kept walking. Kept walking, until I yawned one too many times. Then I found my salvation. I saw an old cottage that seemed to be made of pillows. They looked nice, and warm, and comfy. So naturally, I knocked on the bedsheet door.

               An Old lady opened it. “Caroline? Caroline? Is that you?”

               “No, I’m Cinder.”

               “Ohh thank goodness, Caroline. The McDonalds have been calling for hours saying that you just left the…..without a word…blah blah blah…”

               The lady seemed to grumble on and on for hours. While she did this, I noticed something very peculiar.

               I interrupted her, “Are you blind?” I said.

               “Why yes, yes I am.” The old lady replied.

               “Why are you blind?” I asked.

               “Well,” she said. “I’ll tell you that when you’re older.” She then motioned for me to come inside.

               “But wait,” I stopped her by grabbing her hands, “I am older, I’m older than I was when you said,” I mimicked her voice as best I could, which in my opinion, it was spot on, “’I’ll tell you when you’re older’ so tell me now.”

“Alrighty, but first let’s get you inside. You must be getting cold”

                               -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

               After some warm soup and a bathroom break, we sat down next to the fire. We were sipping hot chocolate, but it was too hot to drink so I set mine down and waited.

               “Now will you tell me?”

               “Alright fine Caroline,” I edged closer. “What do you see when you look at me?”

               I was taken aback, “Ummm…” I struggled for words, “An older lady with blue tie dye dress, a scarf that doesn’t match, and sneakers with socks that also don’t match. Who likes sunhats, and is blind.”

               “Now isn’t that interesting. Did you notice what you didn’t mention?” she paused,” No? What about my spunky attitude, my slight drawl when I say words with the letter W, what about what’s not on the surface?”

               With this foreign idea in my mind, I sipped some hot cocoa, and then promptly realized it was far too hot. The old lady stood up and made her way to the wall mirror.

               “C’mere Caroline.”

               I obeyed. Tell me what you see when you look in this mirror.

               “My hair is…longer than it used to be, and a lot less choppy. I stand up straighter and seem to look kind of like Morgana… MORGANA.”

               Ohh my geez how could I forget

I knew what this lady was now, A Hearthrop. How could I have been so foolish? I moved slowly towards my backpack that lay on the side of the door.

               “You want to know what I see.”

               “You can’t see. You’re blind.” After that remark, I kept my mouth shut. I was almost at my backpack.

               “I see a young lady who is growing up too fast and is going to lose her childhood. She’s scared of growing up, and she needs to know. She doesn’t have to…”

               I snatched my back and ran through the bed sheet door. I ran until I couldn’t run anymore, and then I kept going. It was until I stopped that I realized I had been crying.

               Potato, Potato, you idiot potato. What were you thinking?

               Don’t cry anymore.

               Don’t let her know she got to you.

               You’re stronger than this.

I collapsed against a wall, my spine slid down the rough hard candy texture until my but collided with the soft candy sand ground.

               She got to you, I thought.

                                               ----------------------------------------------

               Candy castle. I stood up and looked at the wall behind me. It expanded into a giant fortress. I, regardless of my other qualifications, was not an expert at infiltrating candy castles. So instead, I made my way around to the front door and knocked. A Grizzledomor answered the door.

               “Hello? Who are you?”

               “I….I… is M-oo-o-rrogan---…”

               “Morgan!” He shouted at the castle behind him. “Are you babysitting today?”

               “No?” I heard from the inside of the castle. “Why?”

               “There’s someone here to see you?”

               “That’s odd, why would someone be here….” Her face fell as she saw me.

               “Caroline, your mom has been looking everywhere for you, what in the world. She’s worried sick.” I stood there stunned. “Well c’mon in” she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house, she then motioned for her father to call my mother. She took me up the stairs and into her bedroom. Her hair was now a different color than it used to be, and her face was painted in a way that made her seem unfamiliar. It was make-up, I knew about that. Teenagers wore it to be unique.

               “Listen, Caroline...”

               “That’s not my name. My name is Cinder.”

               She grimaced, “Cinder”.

               I cut her off, “Why did you leave?”

               “What do you mean?” She replied.

               “You left the tribe, almost a day ago. Without saying goodbye.”

               “Caro-…Cinder. You knew I was leaving early from our birthday party. I had horseback riding lessons in the morning. Don’t you remember?”

               “Our birthday party?”

               “Yeah, we celebrated mine late and yours early because both our birthdays is on a school day. I turned 13 last week, and you will actually be 13 right about…now.”

                                               -----------------------------------------------------------------------

               “Well? Cinder?” Megan asked, “Do you feel any different?”

               I looked up at the mirror on Megan’s wall. I stood up and walked towards it. It wasn’t until I got closer that I noticed and stopped, and turned towards her and inquired.

                                                                               “Who’s Cinder?”

 ~

[multiplefandomfics]

Grimes Sisters chapter 19

Pairings: Shane x Fabienne; Daryl x Alex

Warnings: walker bite, death, angst, grief,

Words: 2007

Fabienne POV

When we finally found the restroom on our floor we noticed that it was locked and we had no way inside. The problem was, that we urgently needed a toilet so we decided to go outside without telling the group. Thinking about it it had been a really dumb idea but you know what they say: you always know it better afterwards. The moment we stepped out of the bushes we saw that our way back had been blocked by a large herd of walkers. “Damn it!” I cursed lowly under my breath and Alex agreed. The only thing we could do in that situation was staying as silent as possible, hide and wait until they had passed us by. Sitting behind some shrubs we heard leaves crushing and twigs breaking and a moment later a stray walker stumbled out of the under-bush. I pulled my machete out of my belt and hit it clean through the biters skull.

“Fabienne? Alex?” we suddenly heard shouts behind us. It was Shane who was probably dying in worry. Rick was right behind him yelling for us as well fighting their way together through the walker herd. That was suicide! I thought but we stood up and yelled back to gain their attention nonetheless.

“It’s our fault that they’re gonna risk their lives now for us.” Alex whispered to me I gripped her hand tightly. Bit by bit Daryl, Shane and Rick fought their way through the herd and when they had finally almost managed to get through something gripped my leg harshly and I fell to the ground. I had been so invested in the scene before me that I hadn’t noticed the biter coming out of the forest behind us. Desperately I tried to free myself off it. It was almost embarrassing that I fell into a panicked frenzy. Alex couldn’t have helped me because she had already run toward Daryl but Shane was close enough to try and pull me free. Then it all went really quickly- Shane tried to grab for his gun in the holster by his hip but unfortunately he wasn’t fast enough and the biter he was holding off with the other arm bit him in it. It felt like everything was playing out in slow motion. Shane just stabbed the walker precisely through his temple, pulled me up because I was too shocked to react on my own all while holding pressure on his wound. After what had just happened came rushing into my brain I started to sob uncontrollably “Shane… No! This can’t be happening.” he was close to tears too I could sense that but couldn’t say a word. So I turned to the others and yelled “I need help over here! Rick immediately shot over to us and when he saw what had happened he was devastated. I was full on crying by then. I saw the look on Ricks face and knew he thought about amputating the arm but Shane would have never survived that. The worst part was that he was gonna die and we couldn’t do shit about it. “We need to help him… there has to be a way.. Please!” I cried and my voice broke. “Fabi, you can’t help me. There's nothing you could do. I love you so much.” he hissed in pain and clamped his teeth shut tightly. It was so hard for me to let go of him so I held onto him as tight as I could. I couldn’t believe it. I was really gonna lose him. This should happen to no one. It was the worst feeling in the world and then I could finally understand what Rick went through after Lori died. One last time I leaned down to kiss him with tears streaming down over my face. “I love you and I always will.” then I felt two strong arms around my middle pulling me away from him. Shane took his gun out of his holster, looked at me one more time before we got up. “Take care of her. Of them all.” Shane wanted Rick to promise and of course he did. Rick then just pulled me away so I wouldn’t have to see Shane dying. My whole body was shaking in grief and anger. I blamed myself. He had just wanted to save me. And now he was dying. That just wasn’t fair. But then what in this world was fair anymore?

I couldn’t look back anymore so we made our way back to the hotel entrance and had just reached it when we heard the shot echo. I winced and Rick pulled me into an embrace to shield me from the world it seemed. Then my legs gave out and when Rick carried me inside everything turned black.

“It’s all my fault!” I screamed crying still. “I killed him. He’s dead because of me!” I hated myself for what had happened. Rick and Alex were desperately trying to calm me down but I wasn’t having any of it. I had loved Shane so much it physically hurt having him not with me and knowing I never would again. “It was not your fault. He could take care of himself but accidents happen.” Alex whispered in my ear. She had no idea how I felt. She did still have Daryl. At some point I fell asleep completely exhausted from crying. It wasn’t a very relaxing sleep. I had those pictures in my head haunting me. Shane being bitten and torn to shreds. And again and again I heard the shot ring in my ears. Bathed in sweat I woke up, looking around me in sheer panic. Rick was still holding me in his arms rubbing his eyes tiredly. Slowly he stroked my back calmingly. I loved him for he knew exactly that I didn’t need many words in that moment. Just one who was there when I woke up from the nightmares. Cuddling myself back against him I eventually fell asleep again.

The next morning everyone was already awake again and looking at me with the same look of pity that I had hated my whole life. It made me wanna run far away. I wasn’t even able to cry anymore and felt like I was paralyzed.

One glance outside and I saw that the walker herd had moved on and I needed some air. When I walked past Daryl he asked me “Where’re ya goin’”

“Just getting some fresh air, ‘s all.” I mumbled and he nodded in agreement.

From the entrance of the building I glanced toward the place where Shane’s body probably still laid. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. I needed to see him so I gathered all my courage and walked over slowly. And there he was. White as a sheet. Bullet hole in his temple. But even then I couldn’t cry again. I crouched down next to him stroking his hand lovingly, thinking. I had no idea how long I was sitting there like that but I had one thought going round in my had that I couldn’t let go of. I needed to get away from here. From everything. Let it all go. I grabbed Shane’s gun and turned my back to the hotel and my family. I couldn’t stand anyone anymore….

Rick POV

What a night. I had tried forever to get Fabienne to sleep. But who better to understand her than me? Of course I was upset as well. He had been my partner and best friend and now he was gone. Even though it had been tough sometimes he had always had my back.

I had already turned morning and I noticed Fabi gone. I asked around for her and only Daryl could give me an answer. “She wanted to go outside for a bit. Looked damn determined I didn’t wanna hold her back.” he grumbled.

Full of panic I stormed outside hoping she wasn’t gonna do something really dumb. I looked around but didn’t catch a glimpse of her anywhere. Daryl had been on my trail and tried tracking her. If he couldn’t find her no one could. “Damn it!” I cursed loudly. We walked over to Shane’s corpse but he hadn’t been moved but I was betting that she had been there and when Daryl found her footprints in the mud I had proof. “Where did she go?” I mumbled more to myself than to anyone in particular. “I’ll try ‘n follow her, Rick don’t worry. You go and take care of the others.” Daryl offered and I was really thankful for that. I couldn’t lose anyone else.

After Daryl had vanished into the woods I made my way back to the hotel, Alex already storming toward me “Where is she? Is she okay?” she asked those questions that I couldn’t answer.

Breathing deeply in and out I took her in my arms but she pushed me away “Something is wrong, right?” I nodded and told her with a heavy heart what had happened “She’s gone. Daryl said she had just wanted to step outside for a while, clear her head. But now we can’t seem to find her and Daryl has gone tracking her. She can’t have gotten far.” I tried to keep her calm. And then I saw my usually so reserved and emotionally strong sister break down and cry. The rest of the group had also listened in on the conversation and I was able to see the pity and sadness in their eyes. But I needed to stay strong for everyone around me. They relied on me and what kind of a leader would I be if I lost my head then? I needed to believe that Daryl was gonna find her. “We will stay for another few days and then move on.” I announced to talk about something else than my missing sister.

Half an eternity went by, at least it felt like it, before Daryl entered the hotel again. Without Fabienne. “You didn’t find her?” he shook his head “Trail’s gone cold ‘bout 15 miles south. She must’ha went up or down a stream through the water. I’m sorry Rick.” he mumbled probably blaming himself again. So I clapped his shoulder to show him it wasn’t his fault. It was mine. I should have taken better care of her. I’m her big brother I should have known that she had been hurting worse than she led on. “I’m such an idiot!” but Daryl interrupted me “I should’ha gone with her.” But I wasn’t gonna allow him to take the blame for that. I shook my head and tried to get all those thoughts away from me. Maybe she was gonna come back when she had cooled down. To get our minds off of everything we went outside to give Shane the burial he deserved. Alex even picked some flowers and said that Fabienne would have wanted it that way.

Then we went silently and exhausted to bed even though it took me forever to fall asleep my thoughts always circling around Fabienne.

I had only one dream: Fabienne running through the woods alone and with walker hot on her heels until she falls and gets torn apart. This made me shake awake again and again. After I had woken up the third time through that nightmare I got up to go after her again but a hand on my biceps stopped me. It was Daryl holding me off from doing something really stupid “Don’t do that, Rick. We’re gonna go tomorrow to look for her again.” and I knew he was right.

The next morning we went on our way early again and it felt like the search for Sophia all over again. And we know how that turned out. I couldn’t have that again. We had to try and we had to find her….