#not to mention those of you who keep using disabled slurs

[xenodile]

So. The Wordless side story in Nikke. Just... Holy SHIT.

Setting aside all of the stuff that's happened with Mihara and Yuni... Am I crazy for thinking that the reason they even dropped the whole "oh by the way Syuen has a half-sister she's never mentioned before :)" thing in the side story is because the writers are lowkey trying to give Syuen better press by implying that Jien is retroactively responsible for spearheading some of Missilis' more morally reprehensible experiments?

Because that's more or less what it feels like. Namedropping a new character that the writers can point at and say "See? SHE'S the evil loli, not Syuen" or provide a personal antagonist for Syuen in the event the writers decide to make Syuen a Nikke after all.

So, this might be controversial, but Syuen has been one of my favorite characters in Nikke since I started and Wordless felt like a huge validation of everything I had thought about her.

There's a very clear theme of gender dynamics and inequality with all Nikkes being women and the vast majority of Commanders and authority figures within the Central Government being men, so Syuen and Ingrid being non-Nikke women and CEOs of the big three puts them in a very unique position.

From the get go we've known that Syuen has an inferiority complex, there is pressure on her to prove that she deserves to lead Missilis and the creation of Matis, one of the most technologically advanced and powerful Nikke squads in existence, still isn't enough to give her that credibility. What's more we've seen that Syuen is easily cowed by threats of physical violence, and has far greater care for her Nikkes than she lets on. The Laplace favorite item substory, the Matis Corruption story arc, Syuen adores her Nikkes and would risk everything to protect them, but she has that bristly, bigoted facade where she calls them slurs and acts like Nikkes are subhuman.

This might just seem like she's an awful entitled brat, but we have to remember the world she's in. Referring to Nikkes as humans beings is a crime. Advocating for Nikkes' civil rights can get you labelled a terrorist and disappeared. From chapter 16 onward is the Commander's motivation is trying to get enough clout within the Ark in order to overturn this oppressive status quo and every single step is a struggle, with reminders that those in power will turn on you in a second if they think you're a threat to their control of humanity.

So bearing all this in mind, we get Wordless. We get the reveal of Syuen's half-sister Jien, and how Syuen's family have painstakingly erased themselves from public knowledge. We hear from Mana that Jien used the phantom pain Yuni caused to coerce Syuen into handing Yuni over, and leaving it ambiguous if Syuen knows the full extent of what's been done to Yuni.

Suddenly, that pressure, that threat that's motivating Syuen to keep Missilis stocks high and prove herself as a capable CEO has a name. Who else could bully Syuen into compliance with utter impunity other than her own family?

Then we get the picture that she took with Wardress, the second Nikke squad that she personally designed. We know from Mihara's bond story that Syuen sought her out when she was alive, a paraplegic on life support, and asked if she wanted to be a Nikke, with full disclosure of the risks, much in the same way that Laplace was disabled with a degenerative disease that was rejected from being a Nikke volunteer until Syuen stepped in to help her get what she wanted.

So with at least two of her Nikkes, Syuen reached out to other women that were disabled and offered them a chance to not only have agency but be celebrated. Matis are beloved superheroes, and we learn in Wordless that Wardress were supposed to be a turning point in the war by capturing Chatterbox.

So then we look back at chapter 2 and 3, where we first met Syuen and Wardress. Mihara shares that they've been hunting Chatterbox for a long time, all unsuccessfully, as Syuen keeps going through rookie commanders to act as Wardress's escort. But she's keeping at it, because she is committed to Wardress making their public debut as heroes. No matter how many failures it takes, she's going to keep things under wraps until her girls can get a win and establish themselves.

Then the whole debacle with Chatterbox happens and Commander calls for help. Now Syuen is forced to reveal the existence of Wardress as not only failing to achieve their mission, but also as criminals that went out illegally and failed to protect their Commander. Suddenly Wardress has gone from the apple of her eye, the jewel in her crown that will prove to everyone, the Ark, the Central Government, the other CEOs, and her family, that she deserves her position, that she's competent and savvy, into proof of her ineptitude and a laughingstock.

And she can't even defend them. She can't defy Enikk's judgement, nor can she speak out for Mihara's rights, because she is too public a figure to be seen as Nikke sympathizer, some kind of machine lover. All she can do is hide them from public eye, keep them close as her personal bodyguards, but that just leaves them exposed to her temper and anxiety.

Syuen is an awful, vindictive bitch, but she is a clear product of the kind of cruel, dehumanizing culture that exists within the Ark, and her mistreatment of Wardress appears to me as a result of her frustration at her inability to escape that culture rather than genuine hatred. And that is what makes her interactions with Commander so compelling. She is ostensibly a rich and powerful woman with nearly unlimited resources at her disposal, yet the cultural and familial pressures leave her effectively powerless to act in a meaningful way. Meanwhile the Commander is a faceless nobody whose defining characteristic is that they're an amnesiac pervert that's into robots, but that lack of public knowledge and cultural influence gives them the leeway to actually act on their beliefs and feelings in defiance of others.

Syuen hates the Commander because it's ostensibly their fault Wardress was exposed and humiliated, but she envies their freedom and agency to live genuinely. She wants them on her side, she wants them to rescue her from the status quo she's trapped in, but is repeatedly rejected because the Commander sees her as part of the problem rather than another victim because she's not a Nikke. It's not until Enikk threatens to have Syuen turned into a Nikke that she finally cracks, and the Commander begins to empathize with her, even as Enikk admits the threat is hollow.

Anyway, point being that Wordless was the lynchpin that made everything about Syuen and her dynamic with the Commander snap into place, and I'm so excited for the possibility of an eventual Syuen face turn.

[cpunkwitch]

Hey let's talk about the punk genre, what punk stands for, what the punk genre really is and what it actually means to be punk

Because so many people are completely misunderstanding the punk subcultures of to-yester-day that people are just simply considering them aesthetics and alternative life styles when it's so much more complicated then that and leads to people spreading misinformation like "cpunk is for ALL disabilities and not exclusive what so ever"

Note: I realize during my talk I mention punk subgenre when really I'm talking about punk subcultures, please keep this in mind while you read! Thank you!

For starters; the term punk, first used in the late 1500's at the earliest to refer to prostitutes, was popularized in the mid 1900's when in 1971 a rock journalist (Greg Shaw) used the term to describe The Guess Who's music.

What became as a synonym for "hoodlum" or "ruffian" got adopted in the 70's by rock bands like Sex Pistols as a form of rebelling against how "commercial" rock'n'roll music had become in the 60's and to continue the counterculture movements from that previous decade.

Overtime the word and therein punk culture gained the association of rebellion and community built on common ground against a certain thing or towards a common objective (such as being against record labels restricting musicians, wanting accessibility for certain people and fairness for people regardless of class and wealth status etc).

People who would attend the "punk rock" concerts would show up in the work out clothing they had and whatever they could afford at the time, second hand clothing, ripped jeans, worn out leather jackets, and thus earned themselves getting called "punks" or "punk rockers" for their "inappropriate/poor dress" and the controversial bands they would listen to

This carried over to that sort of dress becoming an alternative style commonly worn by those who liked rock and metal bands and this monopolized upon by capitalism (the exact thing punk rockers were against to begin with, as most rock bands at the time were literal garage bands)

And this evolved to the reason elderly would yell at teenagers calling them punks and what the punk genre has become today.

As for what it means to be punk, it can vary from person to person and subgenre to subgenre, more specifically it varies from person within subgenre to person within another subgenre.

Punk rockers might define being punk as in going against the dress codes and such that restrict you from self expression, allowing people to attend concerts without have to pay ridiculous amounts of money, being anti-capitalist etc

Whereas cpunk or as we call ourselves "cripple" punks (as is what the c in cpunk stands for) it is clearly defined by the coiner of our community who is no longer with us, taking back the slur cripple for ourselves, fighting for accessibility and having a sense of community at all for physically disabled folk. Some have even said the most punk thing we can do is survive the day living authentically in a world that's literally built against us deformed and physically disabled folk.

To be punk can mean plenty of different things but most commonly it's to fight for equality, to be ourselves, to be seen. It's to go against the rules and authority that want you to conform to their ideals, and plenty of other similar beliefs.

Punk folk have always been labeled as such because of how we are treated for how we look, act, what we listen to and believe, and in general for how we stand out.

Punk fashion started as a DIY, punk music was always about anti-authority and anti-capitalist views, punk as a genre has always been about individuality in community and things many corporations hated.

It's always been more complex than just wearing a leather jacket with an edgy patch and spiked or coloured hair while listening to a band with heavy guitar. It will always be more than an aesthetic or life style.

Why bring this up?

Because these past few years a lot of punk's history have gotten ignored, stepped under the rug and misunderstood.

There's been people forcing themselves into spaces like able bodied people trying to claim to be cpunk when the community isn't for them.

There's been people gatekeeping punk in completely misinformed ways, when to be punk is that you don't fit in a box at all (hence the non conformity)

And there's just been non stop misinformation all together.

Punk is pro-sex workers. Punk is anti conformity. Punk is pro equity. And punk is not for those who harass others and insult them for any reason, regardless of how much you disagree with them.

Regardless of how you define punk, the most important thing is that you listen to voices of others. Don't disregard them like people have done to us all this time.

Thank you so much for letting me ramble off I hope this post has been helpful!

I also apologize for the lack of ids.

[npd-confessions]

I have vulnerable NPD and god I wish I were like you in how you handle things. I care too much about what other people think of me :(

On another note tho... as an Indigenous person with intellectual disabilities, it is RACIST AS SHIT to compare the r slur to the n slur. (Yea, that post did that.) Both hold a lot of weight, but those are two completely different slurs with different respective weights and histories.

Also intellectually disabled people are not a monolith. You didn't call anyone a slur... so far as I'm aware??? You didn't even say the slur on your blog. It was a submission from someone else, and the person wasn't even saying the slur about anyone. The person was saying that other people were using the slur. Context MATTERS.

Hot take apparently though, yes the r slur is inherently negative. But I'm not going to stop another intellectually disabled person from saying it about themself if they want to. Hell, I'm intellectually disabled and have a lot of trauma with the r slur, but I say it about MYSELF (in private though) to COPE. That is how I personally reclaim.

Also the audacity???? To give someone a pass to apparently admittedly say/do bigoted shit because they're what? Combative and ignorant due to their disability??? But you're a bad person if you show symptoms of NPD and ASPD???? What in the fucking shit???????? How much you wanna bet that person who made that post is white.

Also maybe it's just me but it's not ableist to call someone annoying/immature etc. or to complain about their behavior. It's one thing if you're saying those things directly because of their disabilities... like yea that's ableist. But if you're saying it because of this person's actions??? No, that's completely fucking warranted lol.

That's like calling me ableist for venting to my friends about my recent ex and saying they were childish and had shitty priorities. During the week of my birthday, they knew it was my birthday and decided not to get me anything when I had gotten them several things in that week. Why??? Because they couldn't wait another week when they got their next paycheck to buy the thing they wanted. They decided the thing they wanted was more important than me. THAT. Was fucking CHILDISH.

And yea, I broke up with them because of this because it hurt me and that was a red flag. Because if they're not going to think of me on my birthday, and I'm the one spoiling THEM on my birthday.... yea. That's gross. Childish. Annoying. Shitty. Not to mention they cheated on me technically because they didn't communicate with me before adding another partner to the relationship, but they were too ignorant to recognize that. I guess.

My frustration with them is valid. Maybe some of their behavior is due to their neurodivergencies? But I'm not calling them childish/annoying/etc. because of their neurodivergency. I'm calling them those things because of how they fucking treated me.

Sorry for the long rant about this. That callout just really. Irritated me and reminded me of my own issues. Lol.

Thank you, I know. I honestly don't care enough about people to care how they see me. The only person whose opinion of me I actually give a shit about is my wife's, and shi could give less of a fuck about some random cuck morally grandstanding about me on tumblr.com.

As for the slur shit, I use the word because to me it's just a word. And that's all it'll ever be. I refuse to give it the power to hurt me, and I refuse to feed the bigots who would call me that by letting it be a term that wounds me. Y'all can suck my fat retarded nuts.

Double standards do be crazy and kids be out here getting away with murder but i'm the slightest bit mean and suddenly they want my head. Lol.

All this to say: You niggas wanna see me fail. You wanna see me defend myself and make a fool out of myself trying to appease people with the moral constitution of a fucking éclair. But a queen never cry, and you bitches are pathetic.

I am going to keep making fun of these morons in my discord server tho xoxo

[spale-vosver]

About Me

UPDATE: Y'all lost anon privileges because you're too pussy to insult me and put a face to it.

I'm Geoff, a 22 year old history major and aspiring archivist. I use he/xe/xey pronouns, and I'm a crippled transsexual faggot Jew (finished my conversion on 4/29!!).

This blog, much like my interests, is very eclectic, and will largely consist of reblogs -- though I'm not opposed to making my own posts when the mood strikes.

I'm incredibly nerdy and love to ramble, so please don't hesitate to ask me about any of my interests! Said interests, along with more info, are under the cut. Also, please feel free to spam like and reblog, as well as message me!

* I am an adult

I'm 22, and will more than likely post adult content with NSFW text and subjects. However, I will never post explicit sexual content, gore, etc. This is your warning. Please keep this in mind if you choose to interact with or follow me!

* I'm disabled

I'm autistic, have ADHD, OCD, ARFID, BED, and OCPD. Physically, I have asthma, chronic leg and ankle pain that causes me to limp, dysautonomia, chronic fatigue, and suspected migraine disorder. I use identity first language (autistic man, disabled man, etc), and identify strongly with the cripplepunk movement. I personally don't care who uses the word cripple or identifies with the movement, but that's because I don't give a shit about slur discourse.

* I am Jewish

As of 4/29, I have finished my giyur classes and have been to my beit din/mikveh, making me officially Jewish! I do not and will not tolerate antisemitism, nor will I answer bad faith questions about Israel/Palestine. If you absolutely have to know my opinions, I'm pro-Palestine, pro-cohabitation, and politically anti-Kahanist and vehemently opposed to Likud and the Israeli government.

To my knowledge, I do not have any Jewish heritage -- both sides of my family are strongly Catholic and are from Ireland, Germany, and Poland. If there are any Jews in my family line, we either don't know about them or they converted to Christianity.

* I do not budge about my identity

I am a transsexual crippled faggot who supports dykes, trannies, cocksuckers, muffdivers, queers, fairies, aces, aros, and who, again, does not give a shit about slur discourse within the queer community. Don't try to start that with me. You will be blocked. I loudly and proudly support all good faith queer identities. Yes, even those ones.

* Interests

As mentioned, I'm a huge huge huge nerd! Right now I'm obsessed with Severance, but I'm a big sci-fi/fantasy fan in general. I also love trains and sustainable urban planning and am prone to going on rants about the absolute state of train travel in America.

* Please ask me to tag things!

I'm really bad about tagging in general, so please ask me to tag any potential triggers! I will probably forget if I'm not explicitly asked. However, I will not tag any slurs that I can reclaim or use.

[to-my-emil]

luca's 2024 letter

so i did a whole analysis/explanation/infodump about luca's newest letter on my discord server and. figured i may as well post it here! theres a lot of fun tasty things in here and some confirmation of things that have been implied in previous letters which is fun to look at. please keep in mind i dont have the entirety of every character and manor game's lore memorized so while i did double check some things i mightve missed some stuff. anyway its all below the cut since its Long have fun :)

(also feel free to chime in with any thoughts/feelings/opinions/ideas!)

so theres three sections to this letter! im gonna go section by section, but some parts of the last section are mentioned earlier so uh. sorry if you havent read it yet (id recommend u do read it first)

so part 1 is pretty fun. luca is confirmed to have survived game 10 (which also features tracy, charles, and bonbon though we dont currently know who the fourth survivor participant is) And its implied that hes the only survivor of the game (according to the "fleeting victory" thats the assumption at least). his traits w being able to connect the ciphers is also officially tied into the lore here; there are in fact wires running underneath each arena (or at the very least whichever arena lucas game was in which we dont know yet iirc) so its canon that he can do what he does in matches and its not something that the detective incorrectly deduced lorewise (idk if any of the survivor abilities are Actually incorrect deductions/not actually things that theyre doing (like for example priestess's portals, etc that seem more far-fetched) but since we know hes done other things incorrectly (like "prisoner" and "psychologist" titles being in quotes/technically wrong) i figure he mightve gotten some of those wrong too). luca is also Super Fucked Up w an unusuable left arm (and his previous injuries which we know includes at Least severe brain trauma but likely physical trauma too considering his time in prison + the leg braces) so uhhhhhhhhhhh. my money is NOT on him for the next game.

which is the fun next thing to talk about: baron deross is making him do another game!! this confirms whats implied in emmas 2022 letter (she writes "I've won the previous round, for now" which implies a second round if not more), and probably means that helena and galatea would also go through another round even though its not confirmed yet. so far we dont have a record of what happens in any second manor game for a player who has won (as far as i remember); usually what happens is entire groups are eliminated before the game and the only survivor goes on to the next round to try again by default rather than having won the game (like murro and luchino). so far luca's second game is the only one we have ANY info about for a survivor whos won their first game; we know that alva is in it and its heavily implied ann is in it (we'll get to this later) so we'll likely find out what happens once we get either of their experiment letters. its also interesting that the baron seems to reveal more information about the experiments to luca after luca won his game, but its hard to know whether thats because luca is also a scientist or if he reveals that to everyone who wins. my guess is maybe the former bc u Know luca would have questions and theres also no mention of baron deross saying anything like that in emmas, galateas, or helenas letters.

on to section 2!!! (there was a slur against disabled people in the last line of this section so. thats whats blocked out)

OKAY SO. definitely confirmed that hes in a second manor game, its not even subtext its just right there. assuming the "mechanisms" refer to the same mechanisms that are running under the arena and connecting the cipher machines my guess is that this is what he used to shock other participants?? rather than just being to conduct electricity through himself like he does in the game?? idk thats just spaghetti at the wall its not clear here how he actually got shocked and why. it Is clear that he passed the fuck out at some point or another/his memory issues have gotten worse and the wiki points to that guy in his dream being hermann, so that's. interesting. theres an implication here that luca and hermann used to be closer, but once luca started w physics hermann went mmmm time to stop being a father. which. checks out knowing hermann. whats even more interesting is that luca calls hermanns ideas "ludicrous fantasies" that are neither idealistic nor realistic, because like luca you went and did THE EXACT SAME THING. BRO HE WORKED ON PERPETUAL MOTION. YOURE WORKING ON PERPETUAL MOTION. IM SORRY YOU CANT CLOWN ON UR DAD FOR RUINING HIS LIFE OVER PERPETUAL MOTION WHEN U DID LITERALLY THE EXACT SAME THING

anyway.

i do wonder if this is meant to imply that hermann was in fact actually working on a More ridiculous version of perpetual motion or if luca is just biased as hell against hermann. im banking on the latter there is no way in hell that luca is a reliable narrator considering all his memory issues + his general tendency to outright grab people hes mad at by the throat (<- fun fact we see this at least twice once in alvas backstory video and again in gattos backstory video. luca is the same across all timelines). also implications that hermann became an alcoholic. im guessing as a kid luca was told it was medicine and he hasnt put the pieces together?? or its ironic. idk could be either with him. i highly doubt its actually medicine. ALTHOUGH. theres an alternate explanation here; when luca says "swallow them down" i initially thought he was referring to hiding his "final feelings", since sometimes swallowing down feelings is a phrase used for that kind of thing. but potentially this could be implying that hermann had luca take some kind of medicine potentially to get rid of those feelings in some way?? personally i think its the former because we already know hermann was wasting his life and money so becoming an alcoholic would be an easy answer, but this is probably just because i dont have any answers if it were the latter. something to think about

now the third part, which gives us info about the next manor game!

so first the "gaunt old man" is (according to the wiki which i agree with in this case) mad eyes, which makes sense because mad eyes was involved in game 8/9 right before this and game 10 was filled with inventors + bonbon so it only makes sense he was there. no idea where he went though. whats more fun is that luca is now In The Fucking basement Walls where mad eyes used to be bc luca doesnt trust the rest of the participants. considering the "abnormal eyes" and that alva is here we know for sure that this is those related to the eye of darkness cult, which means ann is also definitely there. whats even more interesting is that this implies the existence of at least one more member of the eye of darkness cult whos going to be in this game; luca says "new participants" and "these people", and considering how specific the letters usually are with other things i would guess hed say "those two" if it were only ann and alva (of course its possible that theyre the only two have arrived at the writing of this journal, but considering he refers to a ritual coming up soon my money is on all the participants being of the cat cult except luca). luca makes a good note that this new game is likely the opposite of the previous and more focused on religion/spirituality which checks out w the participants, but DAMN hes an asshole about their writing style LMAO. sorry luca not everyone can have the same notes u do

the "brother in faith" guy here is alva, and i personally believe that he can in fact believe see through walls just bc thats funny as hell. just kidding its likely because luca is not as subtle he thinks he is because alva Literally Knows Him. other people might not be able to know hes there but like. that guys also a scientist. hed be able to figure out that theres someone in the walls AND he does in fact know luca. its difficult to tell bc of lucas memory issues but this probably also implies that alva looks very different from how he did in life (i doubt its as tall/etc as in his hunter form since thats what they all see when drugged not what he Actually looks like but im sure theres some stuff like his shorter hair/grayish skin/etc that carries across). i for one am fucking thrilled that theyre in a game together bc oh my god this is a time bomb and im just waiting to watch it explode (again).

as for the last line about a ritual... teehee. im very excited for whatever this is going to be and its killing me that this is the Only Information we have on it so far. likely we're going to have to wait for more alva and ann letters on this one, as well as whoever the third eye of darkness cult member is going to be, but i have no doubt that we'll have some more info eventually. if i had to take a guess its going to heavily affect how game 10-2/11 turns out; i highly doubt any ritual goes on without a sacrifice, and, well... theres only one guy here whos not already part of the cult. things are not looking great for lucas future.

[thecreelhouse]

try again tomorrow

Steve Harrington x fem!OC (Francesca “Frankie” Amato)

Heads up!— This is part of the Accident Prone AU, and takes place after the series! This could contain allusions to and outright spoilers if you haven’t read the series yet!

Accident Prone masterlist

Includes: hurt/comfort, some angst, mentions of medical treatments and internalized ableism, references to Steve’s PTSD, but the rest is all fluff, coziness, and wholesome Halloween fun 👻

WC: 3.1k

A/N: hi! I’ve been planning on writing some blurbs/ficlets/whatever for AP since the series ended, so here’s the first of hopefully quite a few planned! I’ll create a masterlist when I can and add the link later. This one’s more Frankie-centric, but I hope whoever reads this enjoys it! I’m a few hours late, but it’s always Halloween in my heart. I hope y’all had a fun and spooky Halloween!🖤 also shoutout to @strangergraphics for the cute dividers!!

Halloween used to be a rough time of year for Steve; the heavy heartache Nancy left behind definitely had put a damper on the holiday for a few years. If it wasn’t that, it was certainly the trauma of fighting off demodogs, the tunnels, and stressing to keep the little shitheads (who aren’t so little anymore) safe.

Eventually, it became a time of year he could reclaim. At least it’s one holiday he doesn’t have to hunker down in anticipation of one panic attack rolling into another.

Steve’s starting to actually like Halloween, now that he’s got the first one together with Frankie to look forward to. While it’s not her favorite holiday— she’s a sucker for Christmas, as much as working retail during the winter holiday season sucks— it still brings her joy, and Steve loves seeing her happy.

With treatment leaving Frankie weaker than usual, she’s had to break out her wheelchair again. There’s no shame in it, as there shouldn’t ever be; she’s always been an unapologetic advocate for using medical aids when necessary. A mobility aid doesn’t ruin costume ideas, but sometimes it requires a little more creativity than the average non-disabled person has to put in.

That’s not an issue, either, not with Frankie— but her chronic fatigue begs to differ.

Steve softly opens the door to her apartment, in case she’s resting; upon walking into the living space, he finds her curled up on the couch, drowsy and bundled up in layers. A book slips from her hands as she dozes off, but the spine hitting the floor wakes her up.

“Whoa, hey— “ She slurs, squinting into the dim room. “Wha’happened? Who did that?”

Steve throws a closed fist up to his mouth, trying to muffle a laugh, but catches her attention anyway.

“Stevie?”

“Just me, ‘Key.” He wanders over to the couch, crouching next to her on the floor. She instantly smiles as he cradles her face with his hand; it’s laced with a fragile kind of exhaustion, but it’s a smile, nonetheless. “Still feeling bad from infusions?”

Frankie nods, nuzzling her head into the pillow underneath her. 

“M’really nauseous, and my head hurts, and— yeah, y’know, all that stuff.” Her voice is hoarse. “Can we cuddle?”

“‘F’course we can. Did you eat at all today?”

She shakes her head.

“Water?”

She sucks her lips in before reluctantly answering, “… No.”

“You need that, at least.” He heads for the kitchen while she grumbles, knowing he’s right. When he returns, he sits on the edge of the couch and hands her a water bottle, with one of those straw/sip tips— easier to use and hold than a glass with hand tremors, something they’ve already learned the hard way. “If I make soup, will you at least try to eat some?”

Frankie groans, but agrees, “Yeah, yeah, I’ll try.”

Steve smiles at her, pushing himself off the couch. He tries hiding the way he winces from his own ache, thinking Frankie’s too fatigued to notice.

She’s not.

“What’s all that stuff on the floor?” Steve points over Frankie, still spooning her on the couch. A pile of craft supplies and flattened cardboard boxes lay abandoned on the floor feet away.

She sighs, “I wanted to make panels to attach to my wheelchair, make ‘em look like a tank, for my Tank Girl costume.” She sticks her thumb out, nosediving it towards the floor while blowing a raspberry. “That bombed— no pun intended.”

“You’ve still got a few days, and I can help you,” Steve kisses the back of her head. “We’ll figure it out, no sweat.”

“I dunno… I’m second guessing it now.”

“What? Why?” He asks in shock, sitting up to see her face. “You’ve been talking about this for months.”

“I know, I know, but it’s — ugh— maybe we shouldn’t do the party— or, well, maybe I shouldn’t. You guys should have fun, at least.”

Steve frowns. “‘Key, where’s this coming from?”

“I don’t want to ruin the fun for everyone else.”

“Because of this flare up?”

“Well… yeah. Can’t imagine you guys would have fun with me around right now.”

Frankie had been isolating herself the last few weeks, still allowing her friends to come over,  just not very often. She always wanted to be alone, even had urges to push Steve away while she started treatment again. 

And Steve gets it. He really empathizes with her; though it feels good to have caring friends, who love you no matter what you’re going through, it’s hard to convince yourself you’re not dragging them down. You get used to society warping your mind to believe you’re a drag, that it becomes another branch of internalized ableism.

Though he respects when Frankie needs space, he’s also been able to read her well enough now to understand if she actually needs space, or is just saying it to hide away.

This time is definitely the latter.

“If you’re in too much pain to do anything that day, it’s obviously more than alright to stay home.” He starts off with in a gentle tone. “But until then, we’re gonna plan on having the party. You’ll be with people who are safe to be yourself with, I’ll be there, and the moment you tell me you need out, I’ll leave with you.”

“Steve…”

“Frankie, you’ve got every right to be comfortable when you’re in pain, but you’ve been disappearing on all of us. We just… everyone understands, and no one wants to push you past your limits, but it’s not healthy hiding inside like this all the time. You won’t even let me care for you these days, and I— I know you’re independent, and I never want to coddle you, but I—“ Steve huffs, frustrated with the way he rambles up to his main point. “I love you so much.”

Frankie doesn’t respond, and Steve worries he overstepped.

“And I— I’m sorry, it’s not about me, or our friends, or anyone’s feelings above your own, ‘cause right now you deserve to rest as much as you need—“

“Steve—“

“But you also deserve to be loved, to feel loved, and we don’t want you going through this alone, ‘cause you’re not alone, and I’ll remind you all the time, be so fuckin’ annoying about it—“

Frankie rolls over to face him, wincing as she does from how sore and heavy her limbs feel. “Steve,” She rasps, still with that gentle demeanor whenever she stops him from overthinking too far. “It’s just… very surreal still to believe people care about me despite being sick. After every left 5 years ago, I’ve always been bracing myself for everyone to leave. It’s been hard to remind myself and believe you mean it when you say you’re not going anywhere. That’s not your fault, just my dumb insecurities. I’m sorry.”

Wrapping her in his embrace, Steve holds her gingerly, but close. He kisses the top of her head, still prickly, from regularly keeping it buzzed down.

“Your insecurities aren’t dumb, they exist because of dumb assholes you had to deal with. Don’t apologize for that. Fuck them. Real friends stay with you through the good and the bad.”

She nods, eased by the reassurance, yet something still worries her. “You’ve been pushing through a flare up to help me, though. You shouldn’t hide your pain from me to put my needs before your own.”

Stunned, Steve leans back to glance down at Frankie. “How’d you know? In my defense, m- mine’s nowhere near as bad as yours—“

“No comparing pain, remember?” A rule they agreed on long ago, just as friends. “And really? That first migraine you had around me, I had a feeling we’d have to call 911 when you couldn’t finish a sentence. Sick folks get each other. You’ve seen right through me when I try to hide shit, too.”

Ah, shit. She’s right.

“It’s okay, really.” And it is; if anything, caring for Frankie has kept him moving when his mind fights and tries convincing him to stay in bed. He needs rest, too, but at least the movement stretches some sore muscles out. He shouldn’t push himself, though. “Hey, what if I work on the panels for your chair? Help you out a bit? You can just tell me what to do—“

“No,” Her arms gently squeeze around him. “You’re resting with me. We can try again tomorrow, but right now, I know you need a break, and that’s non-negotiable.”

Steve wants to argue, for her sake, not his, but there’s a bittersweet pang in his chest seeing the worried expression on Frankie’s face. 

“Yeah, that sounds good.” He rests a hand on the side of her neck, while part of his palm and a few fingers reach up over her jaw. He caresses her cheek with his thumb, kissing her softly. It’s gentle, sweet, and short-lived, but they both know intimacy is more than average touches between partners. “Thank you for always looking out for me, ‘Key.”

The worry fades from her expression. “Likewise, Stevie.”

The shop is dripping in Halloween decor, all thanks to Robin, Eddie, and Dustin’s hard work. Frankie gushes over the spooky transformation as they step through the door.

“Guys, this looks amazing!” It’s the first, huge smile Steve’s seen on his girlfriend’s face in a long, long time. She’s like a kid in a candy store, easily amused and impressed. Her excitement attracts the trio’s attention, and they beam at the sight of the couple.

“Oh hellllllll yeah!” Eddie fist pumps the air when Frankie and Steve arrive to the record shop. “I knew you’d go as Tank Girl!”

He’s decked out head to toe in a Dr. Frank-N-Furter costume, fishnets and all. 

Frankie rolls over to her friends, Steve not far behind. It’s a little harder to maneuver the wheelchair with the added costume, so Steve— after asking for permission, of course— helps from the handles every so often if she needs.

“Dude, that’s such a cool idea with your chair.” Robin admires the finished “tank” Frankie and Steve built over Frankie’s wheelchair.

 Frankie beams, pointing up to Steve, who’s dressed in a last minute Beetlejuice costume. “Steve did most of the work, gotta give credit where it’s due.” It’s hard to see his blush under all of the white makeup covering his face.

“Yeah? Nice job, dingus.” Robin commends him. She’s wearing moth wings and antennae, and Steve’s squinting at her— he left his glasses at home, for the sake of the costume, despite Frankie telling him that didn’t matter, but his eyesight does— “Why are you staring at me like that?”

“What the hell are you supposed to be?”

“A moth!” She scoffs, hands on her hips. Steve mirrors her pose.

“Why?”

The doorbell chimes as Vickie enters, grinning at Robin while dressed as a lamp.

“Oh. Ohhhhhhh, yeah okay, I get it now.” Steve and Frankie laugh at their clever matching costumes. 

In time, the Party eventually shows up, with Hopper and Joyce— donning Popeye and Olive Oyl costumes— in tow; they’re both excited to finally visit the four who lived in the city, and meet Frankie, too. They’re both so kind to her, even Hopper, with his gruff exterior, he’s only a giant teddy bear underneath, and everyone knows it. 

Frankie taps on Steve’s arm, beckoning him closer to whisper in his ear, “You weren’t kidding, he kinda does look and talk like my dad.” The two snicker to themselves, with Steve, out of habit, kissing Frankie’s head; he kind of forgets about the helmet she’s wearing, though, but it just brings them more giggles.

 Frankie’s dad even attends, which is weird for Steve, always seeing him in his usual doctor attire for his appointments— tonight, though, he’s dressed as a… patient. Clever, Frankie sarcastically thinks.

The whole Party watches on as Hopper and Frankie’s father meet; it’s as if they’re staring in a mirror as they gawk at one another, mimicking mannerisms unintentionally.

“Oh, this is so weird.” Steve murmurs into Frankie’s ear. “I don’t like it.”

“You think they were long lost twins, or something?”

“Stranger things have happened.”

Among the planned crowd, some customers and kind strangers filter in and out, some adults, some parents and their kids. Frankie and the gang made sure to have tons of candy on hand; worst scenario would be having leftover candy if no one showed up— that’s not so bad.

All kinds of kids in different costumes arrived— typical vampires, princesses, and dinosaurs, and unique ones, too— and that made Frankie even happier that the record shop could be a trick-or-treat stop in the neighborhood. They even had coupons for teens and adults. Everyone that visited got some kind of treat.

Halfway through the night, a young boy and his mom arrive among the friendly chaos. Frankie feels her heart burst wide open at the sight of the kid’s costume; a race car driver, with a “car” made of cardboard, shaped around his own wheelchair. He shyly glances around the room, eyes doing a double take when he finds Frankie in her own costume.

He tugs on his mom’s sleeve before rolling himself over to Frankie, grin wide and shyness left behind as he mimics race car noises.

“Vroom-vroom-vroom!”

“You just might be the fastest race car driver in the world,” Frankie grins, holding her hand out for a high five, one he happily returns. “What’s your name, kiddo? I’m Frankie.”

“Ian!” He ogles over her handmade tank. “So cool….”

“Your car is very cool, too! Did you make it?”

The car’s base design was clearly mapped out by an adult, but he added his own flare through scribbles of endless colors all across the design.

“Mhm! Mommy helped, too.” He stares in awe at her entire costume, then back at her face, as if he’s meeting someone like himself for the first time. “Did your mommy help with yours, too?”

Frankie’s smile almost falters, but she catches herself in time; the innocent question makes her heart ache, wondering what it would’ve been like on Halloween with her mom still alive. She quickly shakes it off, reminding herself her dad has always supported her, especially in all of her silly Halloween costume ideas growing up. 

“No,” She shakes her head, but nods her head over to Steve across the room. “My boyfriend helped, though.”

“Beetlejuice?”

Frankie snorts, “Yes, Beetlejuice.”

“Spooky…” He grins, glancing back at Frankie. “You’re like me?” He points to her wheelchair, and she nods.

“I think we might have the best costumes here, Ian.” His mother makes her way to the two of them, thrilled over the smile on her son’s face. “Hey, your racing flag matches the floor,” she points down to the checkered black and white tiles, and again, he beams with a nod.

“Mommy, look,” Ian grabs her sleeve again, pointing at Frankie’s get-up. “We’re the same!” 

His eyes fall to the port implant peeking out from under Frankie’s vest, near her collarbone. It had to be replaced in the original spot years prior, so her needle and thread tattoo woven into her scar was ruined during the procedure. It’s something that hit Frankie harder than expected, to lose what she naively believed to be a reward of victory, finishing treatment and surviving. 

“I got one too,” Ian tugs at his shirt, with his mother gently reminding him, “careful, careful, baby”; he reveals a port implant of his own, similar placement to Frankie’s. “We match!”

Frankie’s throat tightens and aches, ready to cry; she wishes she had a silver lining outlook the way this child does. Before she can respond, Ian adds, “S’like we’re robots!”

It makes Frankie giggle, genuinely; the urge to cry fades away. “Robots? Why’s that?”

“‘Cause normal people don’t have extra parts like that.” He shrugs, casually explaining. “We’re too cool to be normal.”

“Cool’s your favorite word, huh?”

“Last week, it was ‘sick’,” His mother adds, shaking her head but with a hint of a smile.

“Hey, that’s one of my favorite words!” She glances back at Ian, “Do you go to the hospital often? ‘Cause I’m there twice a week, if you ever needed a robot buddy.”

Ian’s little cherub face lights up, “Uh-huh! We’re friends now?”

“Lil’ dude, we’ve been friends since the moment you zoomed on in through that door.”

While Frankie and Ian’s mom chat, exchanging info on treatment times to meet up in the near future, Steve glances over every so often to admire the long lasting smile on Frankie’s face. It’s the first time in months he’s seen her genuinely happy, longer than a few minutes at a time.

Even if it’s just for the night, Steve knows this party will give her plenty of memorable moments to look back fondly on.

Every so often, her eyes dart to him, blushing like the first time they began to really dance around their feelings; the butterflies and cheek-aching grins haven’t settled since they started dating, and he’s certain they never will.

That’s a chronic pain he’ll graciously accept.

Though Steve and Frankie insist on helping everyone clean up, Robin and Eddie corral the kids up, convincing them into some teamwork cleaning. Frankie figures it’s easier to get home without the tank, so Steve helps her dismantle it from her wheelchair, leaving it behind to worry about another day.

Frankie surprises herself, asking for plans for the first time in months. “Would you guys wanna do a horror movie marathon at my place? The kids, too.”

Dustin nods eagerly, “Hell yeah! We’ll get a ton of sale candy to bring over!”

“That’s right, I forgot tomorrow’s the post-Halloween candy sale holiday.” Robin adds, but Eddie scoffs.

“Robs, that’s a fuckin’ mouthful. I’m not calling it that.”

“Call it whatever the hell you want, I don’t care, dude.”

“Why does everything have to be a debate with you two?” Dustin groans, rolling his eyes.

“Okay, yep, we’re leaving,” Steve rushes to the door, holding it open for Frankie. They holler goodbyes to one another as the couple leave the shop. “Jesus, those two are something else.”

The two continue on in a comfortable silence, the city’s routine sounds mingling with Halloween parties carrying on, conversations and music spilling from apartment windows and crowded bars. 

“Hey, Steve?” Frankie rolls to a stop, where Steve pauses with her. “Thanks for encouraging me to still come tonight. It went better than expected.”

“No need thanking me, I’m just happy you had a good time, ‘Key.” He softly smiles. “I think you made that kid’s Halloween even more special.”

“He made mine special, too. Now I got a new robot buddy.”

“A what?”

Frankie rolls away from him, laughing heartily.

“It’s a cool kid thing, Steve. You just wouldn’t get it.”

Steve lets her continue ahead for a moment, basking in her usual, contagious happiness. 

Guess Halloween ain’t so bad anymore.

[caustic-caffeine]

Helpful Blog Guide (or, what you’ll find here)

this post updates from time to time | last update: november 1, 2024

『 Important Disclaimers! 』

Please read this if you aren’t already familiar with me and my work.

BYI ➥

This blog features dark themes, including but not limited to: gore*, toxic relationships, various forms of horror, violence, drug abuse, etc. There’s also the occasional eyestrainy post. Basically, I like to explore angst through my art and lore. I am not my characters, they are not me; I do not condone hurting yourself or other people.

*Gore is drawn and not of real life people.

I am a minor, and aroace, so sex isn’t mentioned (and especially not depicted) to any level here. What I choose to depict may change in the future, though. The general takeaway you should have is this:

This blog overall is a 16+ space. If you’re younger than 16, I won’t block you, but tread carefully. If any of you find any of the above topics to be upsetting, I recommend not following my page.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

DNI ➥

I don’t really have a DNI list. Respect me as I’ll respect you and we’ll be chill. That being said, I’m not afraid to use the block button.

I’d prefer people older than 30 or younger than 13 not trying to befriend me. Keep things art related! If I already know you/we’ve been mutuals for a while then don’t stress about this, though, you’re chill!

Also, if you’re pro generative ai, you’ll be blocked immediately.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Other Boundaries ➥

Or, “block conditions” if you will. If you do any of this stuff repetitively or severely I will block you. Also, this applies to you if you aren’t a friend: https://nohello.net/en/

Do not repost my work without my explicit permission. Reblog instead!

As a general rule, don’t use slurs around me. In certain circumstances I’m chill with it, but don’t push the envelope. (I use “queer” and sometimes “crippled” to describe myself, but don’t refer to me with those terms unless you’re lgbtq+ or disabled, respectively.)

Don’t draw porn of my characters or sona. Don’t send me porn, either. I will block (and possibly report) you.

Don’t draw gore of my sona and don’t send me real life/nonfictional gore.

Don’t ask me invasive questions.

Don’t vent in asks or dms unless I explicitly said you can. I understand needing help and seeking out support, but you don’t know me and I don’t know you. There are better resources to seek out than a random teenager on tumblr. /lh

I’d like to think all of this goes without saying, but yanno. It’s the internet.

『 Navigation! 』

Here are my links and tags in a handy dandy list for convenient stalking! (/lh)

Links ➥

Main blog: you are here!

Side blog: @vesuvian-vampire

Other links: see my linktree!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tags ➥

My stuff!

#art: #oc art, #oc ref sheet, #illustration, #doodle, #art fight (and #art fight 2024), #art trade, #art commission, #gift art (for specifics)

#just thoughts: #asks open, #answered asks (for specifics)

#writing; #oc lore, #worldbuilding (for specifics)

Others’ Stuff!

#reblogs: #others’ art, #others’ projects, #campaigns and fundraisers, #misc (for specifics)

『 About The Blogger! 』

Soo, what’s this page and who’s the person running it?

Hi! I’m Casey, an artist and worldbuilder with a love for dark fantasy and sci-fi settings. I primarily draw digitally using the program Procreate on my Ipad. In the future, I also want to branch out into programs like Live2D, Aseprite, and Blender. Perhaps I’ll even learn to code for visual novels and other games based on the stories floating around in my head. I dunno. I’m a mixed bag, really, both stylistically and in what I like to depict.

I’m disabled and neurodivergent (AuDHD). I deal with a lot of chronic fatigue and pain in my day to day so my post frequency is very sporadic.

I’m also queer. Aroace, agender, transmasc. I primarily use he/him but don’t really care about pronouns; just don’t use she/her on me.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Some things that inspire me ➥

The Arcana (visual novel game)

My awesome friends, mutuals, and artists I follow

Amulet (graphic novel series)

Slay The Spire (roguelike deckbuilder game)

Dead Cells (roguelike metroidvania game)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Other General Likes ➥

My special interests (generally, art and writing)

Metal and hard rock music

Dogs (the bigger the better)

Baking

Kayaking and rafting

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I post random shit on this account. Lots of art, but really whatever I feel like posting. It’s called “Casey’s Mystery Grab Bag” for a reason!

『 Other Info! 』

In the format of a q&a just because it’s fun.

“Who’s that one vampire(?) oc I see so frequently on this page?”

Francis! They use they/them pronouns exclusively and are a main character in one of my storylines, “Cecie’s Lament”. For more about Francis, check out their Toyhouse page!

“What’s your commission/art trade/art collab status?”

My commissions are closed.

Art trades are open (dm me if you’re interested)!

Art collabs are open to friends and mutuals.

If my status changes, I’ll update this post alongside announcing the status change.

“Who are the people whose names are bracketed?”

Those are whichever characters are being featured in a given post! Most are mine but some aren’t; the ones who belong to others are hyperlinked.

[repotting]

Dude is still using slurs and insulting disabled people in this post. Why is it heartwarming to watch a homophobe incel on the nazi/incel mass-shooter forum get less depressed?

He doesn't say a fucking thing about giving up the extreme misogyny inherent to the incel movement esp as organized on 4chan, just about his life personally getting happier and girls wanting to be around him more.

Why does this keep getting shared like it means he got deradicalized?

All we know is that a guy who hung out on the website notable for how many of its members were full-on nazis, the website whose incel subculture--of which he was a part--was famous for its extreme misogyny and how many mass murders were committed by his fellow members... got happier while still calling people slurs and not mentioning a single change in how he views women or any other oppressed demographic.

Depression doesn't cause bigotry. Being socially isolated doesn't cause bigotry. Solving those problems alone does not mean this dude isn't still a raging fucking bigot. He freely identified as an incel on fucking 4chan! Why would you just assume that misogyny is gone?

Maybe that doesn't matter to most ppl here on the antifeminism website but holy shit. Why do I care that a member of a violent misogynist movement is happier now???

does anyone have that 4chan post about the guy who got like. deradicalised from being an incel because he started taking care of shrimp?

[kix-mm]

Hey! I saw you made a QnA a bit ago, and I have a question. We know a pretty fair amount about Branch himself, but i remember you mentioned he had siblings and parents, could you tell us a little bit about them? Thanks!

Of course! This is picture is a small hight chart from the time Branch was about 5.

Jacob, Robin, Roy, Barron, Allen & Elliot, Vincent, Dusty.

Info is here below!

Jacob, the eldest

He’s the one that’s considered the most responsible of all siblings, at time being more of a father to them than a brother, he was often the man of the house whenever his farther was traveling for work. He was one that followed the rules quite closely and yet wouldn’t be afraid to bend them or stray from the path even going as far as to stand up to his very own father and question the reason for certain rules. But as years went by there was a certain dread felt when they had to call for Jacob… He was a sweet soul despite how fearful his brothers were of him, maybe something about him was just unsettling? He never dared to ask… "Even mother seemed a little intimidated.

Robin, second eldest

Robin is one of the favorites of many, including Branch. He was born with scoliosis and never had it treated as the procedure was expensive and, in his eyes, quite unnecessary. He had a certain charm to his character, a great listener, and quite playful. He always had a calm tone and was known to be quite flirty both with men and women. He tends to drink a lot more than his family knows to keep his silly stories to himself...

Roy, third eldest

The troublemaker of the family. Drugs, fighting his family and dissappeaing for days without contact. He has no filter and can be quite a narcissist. He put very little effort into showing that he cares... The only person he seems to have any consideration for is his canary, not letting anyone near it, especially his younger siblings. That doesn't mean he doesn't care about his family, he yearns for Jacob's approval despite his rebellious actions and never spends a day thinking about how he almost lost Allen in a blind rage over as stupid accident...

Barron

Barron is the adventurous type. Usually, he was the one to make up the games so they wouldn't die of boredom. He was fast, strong, and brave. A hero to his little brothers and a knight in armor to his little sister. He was usually the one that got between people when things started getting physical, except when the adults were involved, then he'd make sure the little ones were distracted so they wouldn't have to hear all that he did when he was their age... Barron became blind in one eye but somehow sees things nobody else can... he sometimes struggles with what is real and what isn't, maybe it was due to his near death experience... that's the only thing he's scared of...

Allen & Elliot, the twins

Elliot was the first of the two, a bright and sunny boy who always had something to do. He was rarely bored and easily distracted by just about anything, taking the saying "watching paint dry" to a whole new level. Allen, on the other hand, was a sensitive lad. He had pretty severe autism, and he had trouble talking with most of his words slurring or lisping, he had a unique way with communicating with Elliot, since the two were inseparable they learned to communicate with each other that the others to this day have no clue on how they do it.

Vincent

He was born with several health complications, asthma,a poor immune system, and sensitive eyes. His “disabilities” are what got him so interested in medicine, reading countless books that were on a far higher level than the rest of those his age. His fascination, however, is what also leads him to severe germophobia and thanatophoia, a fear of dirt, infection, bacteria & fear of dying. Not only did this cause him to be far more anxious then the rest of his brothers but he also started becoming a household doctor of some sorts, giving his brothers regular checkups at first for fun, but eventually out of fear for their safety…

Dusty, the youngest and only sister

Dusty was everyone's little princess, the sunshine of the household, everyone adored and cared for her. She loved all her brothers and would always do her best to make them smile. She is mostly mute, only becoming verbal when she was feeling very high levels of emotions. Due to being the youngest and most loved everyone was always on the lookout for her and being extremely protective of her. She had a special kind of freedom the boys never had, but they worked hard for her to have it. It was all worth it just for her...

[galaxys-hoard]

My opinions

Real world issues

Free Palestine, Haiti, Congo, and every other group fighting colonization!!!!

If you can wear a mask and choose not to, you’re complicit in the genocide of disabled people.

Queer “discourse”:

I support all queer identities, even if they seem “cringe” or “contradictory”. Someone’s identity doesn’t invalidate your own. This includes things like neopronouns, bi lesbians, etc.

You don’t need dysphoria to be trans (if that wasn’t clear enough by my previous statement)

That being said, I do NOT believe that things like MAPS, Zoophiliacs, transage, transrace, etc, are queer. I do not respect those labels or the people who claim them.

Kink belongs at pride; pride is supposed to be a riot/protest and was never about being a Family Fun Event.

I do not care for slur discourse and other menial shit when people are literally dying for their queerness.

Internet (mainly tiktok and tumblr) discourse:

If you want to “ship” real people, fine. But keep that to yourself.

If you enjoy “shipping” minors as an adult, you’re gross.

I do not care for “syscourse”.

As mentioned, trans-x (transrace, transage, transabled, etc) stuff is gross.

I support SFW agere and petre, y’all are cool

My thoughts on self diagnosis are complex and ever changing. You can read more about them here. To summarize, I think that it’s ok when used properly but self diagnosis is increasingly being done inappropriately causing harm to both the individual and the community.

If you have any clarifying questions feel free to ask.

[omegawolverine]

👀 mcc discourse? /gen

okay mcc discourse time everyone strap in

the three things i see people being pissed about most often are the lack of lgbt+ people in the event, the specific lgbt+ creators playing and, of course, technoblade being involved. so, let's break down why all three of these things are fucking dumb.

1) "there isnt enough lgbt+ creators".

this would be a fair argument that i could get behind...if not for the way mcc is set up for this specific event—and by that i mean it is a youtube sponsored event. the ccs involved need to have platforms on youtube to be able to participate to begin with, as it is a charity event. mcc doesn't have a lot of lgbt+ streamers involved this time around because a lot of those streamers straight up could not stream this event and scott literally said this himself.

on top of that, this isnt a "get invited and you can play!" event, it is a "you need to apply to be involved" event, meaning, if people dont meet the deadline, or they dont apply at fucking all, they cant play. that's not on fucking scott or anyone organizing mcc, that is on the ccs (if they even wanna be involved, i could not blame them for avoiding mcc after last times mess) who didnt apply in time/at all.

2) "there isnt enough diversity in the lgbt+ streamers" aka "im erasing people's identities and, again, disregarding the literal qualifications for this mcc which include having a youtube platform"

i keep seeing people bring up how every lgbt+ person in mcc is white and able bodied and neurotypical etc etc (which is an inaccurate statement anyways) as reasons why they "arent good enough" or they're bringing up how there "isnt any of [x] sexuality/gender involved" as if that's the organizers faults and i uh. i hate to break it to yall but, again, this is an apply to get in event. if these ccs that were "more diverse" (bc why the fuck are we referring to these ccs playing in fucking minecraft championship as some weird ass diversity characters instead of real life people who are more than their race, disability, etc.) met the requirements and were lgbt+ but just didnt apply, while a lot of other white, cis, neurotypical, able bodied, whatever the fuck else, did? yeah. nobody can change that. scott didnt just pick and chose who gets to play, there are literal rules for this event and also applications that are involved like?? hello????? and obviously i would love to see some more lgbt+ creators from different backgrounds with different identities in the cast, that would be awesome, but that is ultimately not up to the organizers. they cant force people to play. they cant skip people in the waiting lists. they can't have people who cant stream be involved in this mcc as their first event, both because it would be sad for them not to stream their first mcc and because it is a literal charity event.

and, to make things worse, a lot of people are saying there "isnt any trans people this mcc" which is just. a blatant lie. eret isnt cis and sqiashey is genderfluid, yall just dont like eret so you decide to refer to her as a "cis man" constantly, which is transphobic, and yall also dont know sqiashey so instead of doing research, you started running ur mouths and then didn't apologize when you got called on it.

like. even if eret was truly problematic, which i dont believe they are as they have apologized for every little mistake theyve made and dealt with the backlash from entitled little privileged teenagers online all while not complaining even the slightest bit, that still doesnt give you a right to misgender them and erase their identity as a non cis person entirely because you're mad over a fucking minecraft event like??? how fucking privileged you must be that this is what gets you heated. not any actual homophobia or transphobia, but apparently "lgbt+ people in minecraft not being diverse enough". choke.

3) "technoblade is a lesphobe, why is he in mcc"

tw on this section: i discuss my expierences with homophobia as an afab nblw briefly and reclaim the d slur (if you wanna read this section and avoid the homophobia discussion and/or d slur, skip from "as someone who is nblw" to "techno making a shitty joke").

all of techno's lesphobic comments are from 5+ years ago and were, at worst, jokes in poor taste. as someone who is nblw, i have had men follow me and my friend around and call us dykes for holding hands in a museum, i have had my family members harrass me for my sexuality and casually talk about how im gross and wrong for liking girls and i have been punished by literal teachers for showing "too much pda" with my past girlfriends despite the fact that ive never even kissed someone on campus before, just held hands and hugged. techno making some shitty jokes when he was a teenager years ago, while also having a plethora of examples of him being an lgbt+ ally, which does include lesbians, should not be treated the same way as literal bigots calling queer people slurs. and if you think it should be, you have had it fucking lucky.

yes, it is valid to be upset over these jokes, they're fucking weird and he shouldnt have made them, but to treat it with the exact same seriousness as a grown ass adult showing blatant homophobia in current times? no. fuck no.

extra notes bc there's some minor discourse points i left out: no, dream team shouldnt get to be involved in this event over other cishet ccs involved just because they have bigger platforms because this quite literally isnt about them, it's about lgbt+ people and they just didnt happen to get in. shut the fuck up. stop mentioning ant and velvet as people who shouldve been involved, they're quite literally together rn doing little daytrips and shit and they most likely dont wanna spend their time together playing fucking minecraft. also, stop saying techno should be replaced with ranboo (or anyone for that matter), it breaks ranboo's fucking boundaries and him donating 100k to the trevor project doesnt suddenly mean he gets to skip the mcc waiting list.

in conclusion: twitter stop whining over pride mcc, your privilege is showing.

(tagging @tauntwenthome bc you said you wanted to hear as well <3)

[thatneoncrisis]

i emphasized that bigots are under the umbrella of people who deserve rights, because i interpreted your addition as meaning that i was excluding them via trying to put them in an othered category

"Paranoid freaks also don't deserve to be tormented by the system and the Normal People and those sucking up to them who define others as freaks and categorize those who experience paranoia among them"

i was vaguely aware of the linguistic history of freaks as being popularized as a derogatory term towards the physically disabled (hence freak shows), but i feel like this is getting to a point where not a single insult cannot ever be employed bc of its association with a marginalized group. bitch has deep connotations with misogyny. idiot began as a greek noun meaning an ignorant person, then was roped into psychiatric circle to mean a kind of profound intellectual disability.

i am sure you already know this, but i have just genuinely never heard of somebody classifying freak as a slur due to how far removed it is from its original context, now shorthand for any sort of behavior that is strange or unexpected. as opposed to something like retard or faggot where they are still basically used identically for how they were conceived. allowances for contextual use of fag re a cigarette in the uk. i am also aware of the murky waters of the words i listed, thats why i mentioned them- both contexts are valid. some people may have a medically diagnosed pattern of antisocial behavior as dictated by established guidelines, some people are just incredibly individualistic and maybe a bit standoffish and inflexible. i would call the latter antisocial as quickly as the first, the problem is when either one is treated as in inherently evil part of a person with no room for nuance. some people can be self absorbed and need a lot of validation, some are literally diagnosed with npd, neither are "evil."

that all being said, i still apologize for saying freak as it doesnt even have the excuse as having an actual basis in medicine, its just a nasty thing used to target people with non normative bodies, such as the disabled and intersex. insulting someone based on abnormal behavior is a slippery slope, the focus should be on the actual harm of the behaviot

paranoia is not the cause of bigotry, but it is absolutely weaponized by people in power to get people to be complicit in theirjudegments of marginalized groups. i do consider it deeply paranoid to be afraid that every single trans woman one encounters is a male rapist doing a long con, or that a male athlete lied to multiple medical professionals to get on hormones just to beat cis women at a random sport, or that government assisted disability will be the downfall of the country. it is preying on peoples fears, exploiting existing biases in a inherently conservative system to turn people against one another

if you want to keep going, i would really ask that you dm me directly, i genuinely hate these long back and forth posts and i feel like we can communicate more sincerely.

some autistic people will never be able to have a job or live alone, some women that are transvestigated in bathrooms will have a penis, sometimes a trans women will win a sport she is "naturally" gifted in such as being really tall and playing basketball and sometimes the homeless guy panhandling really will just spend that money on cigarettes and scratchers instead of food. they are still human beings that dont deserve to be tormented by the legal system and paranoid freaks

[nerds-escape]

Hi I am now in an anti-Snape mood so...here we go.

Quick preface before we begin: I will be talking about abuse and some other topics, I’ll put trigger warnings at the beginning of everything

NOTE: This is based off my experience as a person who was abused by both friends and family as well as a disabled person and a person who has been sexually harassed and something I don’t even know the term for it was somewhere in between sexual harassment and sexual assault.

“He was Abused as a Child”

TW: Abuse

I know it’s mentioned a lot but just because Snape was abused doesn’t mean he was destined to be a bad person, in fact, when someone says that, it makes it a lot harder for people to come to terms with what has happened. As a person who was manipulated and belittled my entire life I would like to say: I have been told I am a good person so I think I’m a good person, really it’s kind of subjective. But if you want to know some things so you can judge for yourself (a lot of these things had to be put on hold because of the pandemic which is why I’m using past tense):

I taught mentally and physically disabled kids how to swim

I had good grades

I work four jobs so I can pay to go to Uni

I have a hard time setting boundaries which means whenever someone ask me to do something, I do it out of fear of disappointing them (not a good thing but a thing none the less)

I was captain of the swim team

I was in a club that the soul purpose was to raise money for a children’s hospital

I spend a lot of my time volunteering

I know this sounds like I’m patting my own back but I just want you to understand who I am as a person. I like to think I’m a good person but it’s up to you if you believe that or not.

I have lost my autonomy due to my trauma. Every other word coming out of my mouth is sorry because I have been trained to believe everything is my fault. It took me years of therapy and talking with friends to figure that out.

The other day I asked my coworker if I could go to the bathroom because everything in my life I have had to tiptoe around and get express permission on including going to the restroom at times.

Obviously everyone reacts to abuse and trauma differently but having a villain and saying that they are bad because of the abuse they faced is just not it.

Source:

I don’t really know why you need sources on my abuse but here are some sources on trauma and how it can effect kids

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/understand/isitptsd/common_reactions.asp

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK207191/

https://www.kempe.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/The_Battered_Child_Syndrome.pdf

“The Marauders Sexually Assaulted/Harassed Snape”

TW: sexual assault/harassment

AMAB sexual assault and harassment is a real thing that needs to be talked about more, and something that shouldn’t be used to win an argument.

Snape Stans can’t seem to decide if this is sexual assault or sexual harassment. At most it is sexual harassment, this isn’t to say that sexual harassment is something to scoff at, this is to ask: pick one because saying these two are the same things is wildly misleading so stop using these words interchangeably.

Stop using male victims and survivors as trophies for your arguments. Did you know that 1 out of every 10 rape survivors are men? This is a real issue so don’t use it as a defense because guess what? It also makes makes men of sexual abuse seem like they are villains. 

Pantsing was just a thing that happened when I was in grade school. Does that make it okay? No. But pantsing is mainly considered “schoolyard fun” especially when it’s between two people of the same sex. Again. Does this make it okay? No. Do I believe what James did was okay? No. But you can not tell me that if you got pantsed and your best friend was there to comfort you, would you call them a slur? I wouldn’t.

Sources: https://wlv.openrepository.com/bitstream/handle/2436/96284/Duncan_PhDthesis.pdf?sequence=2&isAllowed=y

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pantsing

Yes I am using Wikipedia as a source because they have some good sources attached.

“He was Abused by Muggles and that’s why he Hated Them”

Okay and? He knew good muggles. I was abused by men. Does that mean I want all men dead? No. I have been abused by women. Does that mean I want all women dead? No! I could go on for a while of people who have abused me and I can tell you right now I don’t want any of those groups of people dead because guess what: those groups did nothing.

“Sirius Tried to Kill Him”

Yeah, no.

Nobody forced Snape to go there. Was it fucked up for Sirius to do that? Yeah. Like really fucked up but Snape didn’t have to go. He knew what he was getting himself into. He suspected Lupin to be a werewolf. He didn’t have to go to the shrieking shack.

I genuinely don’t think that Sirius thought this one through. To him Moony wasn’t a vicious creature, he had fun playing with Padfoot and he never hurt Padfoot so to Sirius it didn’t even cross his mind that he might be putting Snape in a dangerous situation.

That’s one theory, there are many theories and we don’t know why Sirius did it all we know is that Prongs saved Snape’s life. And Snape hated James for that. Which to be fair if someone saved my life I would probably be pissed off too but that’s besides the point.

“Snape Loved Lily”

No. Snape has the same energy as the guy who I blocked on Instagram after I repeatedly told him to stop something and then made four accounts just to keep texting me and went as far as to find and harass my friends. Same Energy.

“Their patroni match UwU” shut up. No. James’s patronus was a stag a stags mate is a doe, Lily’s was a doe. Snape’s was a doe as well. Now listen I’m down for two dope ass lesbian does but as we know because J*R that was not the case. That was an obsession. If you think that’s what love it like you are going to have very toxic relationships in your life and quite honestly lowkey concerned for you and/or your future, current, and/or past partners.

“He’s a good teacher he was keeping up the act”

No! Teachers abusing students is a real thing, what’s ever worse (as if that’s already bad enough) school was Harry’s safe haven. Now you could say the same for Snape, sure but Snape could defend himself against the Marauders. Choose your fighter: Eleven year old Harry who just learned that magic was a thing and that his parents didn’t die in a car crash vs Thirty-One year old Snape, a teacher. Let me tell you as a person who was bullied by her peers, when my sixth grade math teacher called me stupid, it had a lot greater of an impact than a student pushing me into the lockers.

Teachers are supposed to teach regardless of if they want to fuck your mom or not. It wasn’t only Harry that he was terrible to either.

Also see this entire article to disprove your point:

https://www.learningforjustice.org/magazine/fall-2014/abuse-of-power

Sources:

https://isiarticles.com/bundles/Article/pre/pdf/130622.pdf

Also refer to the article above as well.

I am done with my source arguments here is just a fun tidbit

My abusers favorite character is Snape and and he said he fully understands Snape...

Anyways I will be sending this to all people who try to argue with me about Snape.

[mediaevalmusereads]

The Alienist. By Caleb Carr. New York: Random House, 1994.

Rating: 4/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction, mystery, suspense

Part of a Series? Yes, The Kreizler Series #1

Summary:   The year is 1896. The city is New York. Newspaper reporter John Schuyler Moore is summoned by his friend Dr. Laszlo Kreizler—a psychologist, or “alienist”—to view the horribly mutilated body of an adolescent boy abandoned on the unfinished Williamsburg Bridge. From there the two embark on a revolutionary effort in criminology: creating a psychological profile of the perpetrator based on the details of his crimes. Their dangerous quest takes them into the tortured past and twisted mind of a murderer who will kill again before their hunt is over.

***Full review under the cut.***

Content Warnings: ableism, homophobia/transphobia, racism (including slurs), sexism, rape, abuse, child abuse and sexual assault, child prostitution, animal cruelty, blood, gore, violence

Overview: This book has been on my TBR list for a while, so I figured I’d finally get around to reading it. I wasn’t sure what I was expecting, but I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed the reading experience. Carr writes in a way that pretty closely imitates 19th century detective fiction, and while such a style might not be for everyone, I thought it went a long way in creating atmosphere. My criticisms have mostly to do with pace and the creative decisions that probably didn’t have to be made (such as depictions of child sexual assault, use of slurs, etc), but even with those faults, I have to give Carr’s craft and research a lot of credit, so this book gets 4 stars from me.

Writing: As I mentioned above, this book mimics detective fiction of the 19th century. If you’ve read any of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes stories, you might get the idea: first person, characters displaying almost whimsical behavior, stuffed with contextual details that may or may not be relevant. At first, I thought the reading experience was going to be a slog, but once I realized what Carr was trying to do, I readjusted my expectations and found the prose to be quite engaging. If you like 19th century literature, you might appreciate what Carr does, but if you find older lit to be a challenge, this book might not be the thriller you’re hoping for.

That being said, I do think there were some areas where Carr could have picked up the pace or even cut some of the contextual details. It’s obvious that Carr did a lot of research before writing this book, and it’s understandable that he would want to show off some of that research, but there were times where I felt like it was a little much.

I also think there are a lot of things in this book that will offend modern sensibilities. I recall at least one use of the N-word (which is spoken by a racist minor character) as well as remarks that make it clear that characters think same-sex intimacy is “deviant” or abhorrent. I can understand why Carr put them in his book; if we’re trying to evoke an atmosphere and make the story feel like it’s set in the 19th century, it’s not realistic to expect everyone to be accepting of gay sex or treat POC with respect. But also, I think it’s on Carr to bear the responsibility of creating plot points and characters that have those attitudes in the first place. The character who uses the N-word could have easily not done so, and characters could have been more clear that their revulsion was at child prostitution rather than same-sex relationships.

Still, I was able to follow the plot with no problem and the sentences flowed in a way that made the reading experience feel quick (no 10-line sentences, thank god). So while there may be some things I would have liked to see adjusted to fit my own tastes, I think Carr did a wonderful job of making me feel like I was reading an older work.

Plot: The plot of this book follows a group of investigators as they try to use psychology to catch a serial killer. As far as being an “original” or unique thriller, this book doesn’t necessarily deliver a plot we haven’t seen before; but what made it so interesting (at least to me) was that it was less interested in the thrill of catching the killer and more interested in thinking through the “whys.” Why did the killer do X? Why did he do Y and Z when he could have done A or B? In this sense, the suspense doesn’t come from the action or the “chase,” but from the building of ideas and a foggy picture becoming more and more clear.

If I can fault Carr for anything, it’s that I think he crafted his mystery around some subjects that are... touchy (for lack of a better word). Most of the murder victims are children - specifically child prostitutes - and a lot of the killer’s motivations are rooted in some combination of racism and exposure to abuse. If you’re looking for a book which handles these issues with sensitivity, I think you’ll be disappointed. But I have to give Carr some credit for not overly sensationalizing these things; for example, while he did include characters who were racist towards Native Americans, he also included characters who were sympathetic and who insisted on not judging tribes for their defensive violence. Not everything is perfect, and there were some moments that made me uncomfortable, but I felt like Carr painted a complex picture of 19th century America, so I was able to keep going.

Characters: The plot of this book is told from the perspective of John Schuyler Moore - a newspaper reporter who teams up with his friend, eminent psychologist Dr. Laszlo Kreizler, to catch a serial killer. As a protagonist, Moore isn’t overly compelling - he’s more like a neutral, blank slate that the reader can project themselves onto. He serves much of the same function as Watson in the Sherlock Holmes stories: to be a witness to other characters’ brilliance while occasionally making some helpful insights. Still, I didn’t outright hate Moore - he was kind and loyal, and I admired how he went out of his way to try to help people.

Kreizler, the psychologist (or “alienist” as they were called in those days), is somewhat of a Sherlockian character in that he’s eccentric, confident, and had abilities that stun the people around him. For the most part, Kreizler was fun to follow. I think the only times I got truly frustrated with him were when he would allude to some knowledge and then leave Moore in the dark - like “aha! This thing is obvious!” “What thing?” “No time to explain! I’ll tell you at dinner!” Those moments were a little irritating.

Sarah, the most prominent female character, was more complex than I expected her to be. She has clear career aspirations and doesn’t let anyone hold her back, and I liked that she was presented as this kick-ass woman who still felt human. She struggles when faced with the horrors of the murder, but she doesn’t let the horror put her off of her task. She’s confident and never seems to have a moment of self-doubt (which is refreshing). She notices interpersonal things without being boxed in as “the woman who notices emotions.” Granted, Sarah does serve some token function - she’s brought on in order to provide a “female perspective,” which was a little frustrating, but she held her own so well that my annoyance melted away.

Marcus and Lucius, the two brothers who work for the police department, are also quite charming characters. I loved how they brought technical expertise to the group by being knowledgeable about anatomy, fingerprints, photography, and the like, and I especially enjoyed the way they bickered with one another. Their presence immediately made scenes feel lighter, and they brought something of a family aspect to the whole band.

Supporting characters were well-crafted in that no two felt quite the same. Teddy Roosevelt (yes, that one) was cheerful and warm while still demanding absolute cooperation and loyalty from his men. Cyrus and Stevie - two of Kreizler’s employees - were charming, though I wish Cyrus had gotten to do more than just kind of silently stand by awaiting orders. Mary - Kreizler’s maid - was a lovely character, and I appreciated the positive disability representation we got with her, though I do not like how her character arc ended and how it related to the main plot. The crime bosses were intimidating without feeling too much like stock characters, the thugs did their job. I don’t think there was a character that was poorly written, just characters who served purposes that may or may not have been needed.

As for the murderer... we don’t get to see him very much, but I felt like I got to know him because so much of the book was focused on mapping out his life and psychology. It worked much better than books where the antagonist is looming off to the side, acting as a vaguely threatening force but not really a character, and one that doesn’t even show up until the last quarter of the book. When the killer finally does appear on page, I felt like he had been involved in the story, even without being physically present, so I was able to accept him as an active force on the narrative, not just a surprise twist at the end.

TL;DR: The Alienist is a well-crafted mystery that uses atmosphere and psychology to create an engaging mystery. While some readers may struggle with the period-like prose or the more disturbing aspects of the story, Carr creates a compelling narrative by focusing on understanding and knowledge over spectacle and action, and by using well-developed characters.

[chaotically-cas]

29 Things I Think Allistic People Need To Hear

From an autistic person

Not my usual content but I felt it needed to be said.

Saying “everyone is a little autistic” is really hurtful. Yes, everyone has their struggles but these struggles are far different for autistic people. Saying everyone experiences it is invalidating & harmful.

Being graded on eye contact & standing still is wrong. I’m pretty sure at one point or another we’ve had a project we were graded on & one of the grades was eye contact & not fidgeting. These things are extremely hard for autistic people & they are practically second nature. It’s like holding in a sneeze.

Stim & figget toys in schools. Of course fidget spinner’s & stim cubes can be bought & should be bought by anyone. If you want one, get one. But the way schools are banning them is crazy. They are very necessary for autistic people & it’s so much harder for them when schools ban their use.

QUITTTTT BABYING US!! We aren’t ‘uwu babies’. We are humans. We are perfectly capable of functioning without allistic people’s pity & looking down on us. We are our own people that don’t need a hand to hold in every damn situation. We aren’t cute because of it. 

Listen to autistic people. Everyone is all for advocating for people until that group of people want to advocate for themselves. So shut up & listen once & maybe you can learn something you didn’t know.

Creative writing in class is difficult. You don’t know how many bad grades I’ve gotten on because I can’t think of a good story out of my ass. It’s extremely hard for autistic people. Please give us a prompt it’s more helpful than you know.

Role playing in class. I think we’ve all had to do something where we research a famous person & have to assume their identity. This is again, so hard for autistic people. It’s hard enough for us to be ourselves. Most of us can’t understand these actives enough.

Slurs. Quit saying retard. It’s not an insult. It’s not funny. It’s offensive & every time you use it you’re hurting a disabled person & spreading harmful stereotypes. It’s not just a word. It’s not just a bad word. It’s a slur. Same as the f word or any other slur. Don’t use it.

People talking over us. No I dont mean just in conversations. Although that is another issue. I mean organizations like autism speaks that put words into autistic peoples mouths instead of letting them speak for themselves.

Stop making fun of our special interests. Whether you find anime cringey or think an adult loving Aladdin is childish just stop it. These things being extreme joy to us. They make us happy in a word that we don’t understand. So just leave us alone & let us be happy.

Don’t stare at us if we’re stimming. Especially in public. If you see me flapping my hands. Don’t stare. If you hear me humming quietly, don’t judge. These activities aren’t for your viewing pleasure. They’re for autistic people to regulate & express how they’re feeling.

Normalizing ableism. It’s so normalized. Whether it’s phrased like “suffers from autism” or how regularly ‘retard’ is used in classe; ableism is so often over looked especially by adults. There are no many micro aggressions they are just passed off as us not having a thick enough skin. When in reality it’s really damaging.

People first language. If you ever correct someone by saying “no, they’re a PERSON with autism. Not an autistic person”. Literally shut up. We’re autistic. We’re people. Being autistic doesn’t make us any less human so you don’t need to make it seem like it does. We’re still human no matter our disably. People don’t have to be reminded of this.

Using words like psychopath & sociopath. Calling autistic people these things just because you don’t understand us is disgusting. If you don’t understand these terms don’t use them. Just because we aren’t good at showing empathy in some cases doesn’t make us ‘psychopaths’.

Tone indicators. This is both the over use & not using them that’s an issue. Saying things like “/j /hj /sarcasm /srs /lh” all in one post defeats the whole damn purpose of them. & not using any at all especially when joking around or using sarcasm can lead to a lot of misunderstanding. It’s not that hard to use one or two at the end of a post. /srs

Picky eating. Literally stop making fun of autistic people for not liking a lot of foods or ordering the same thing at every restaurant. A lot of textures & flavors are very bothersome to autistic people. They can cause overstimulation or even panic. Just let us be. So I eat mac & cheese 4 times a week. I didn’t know it effected you so much.

“Ugh you’re so annoying you can’t ever get a joke”. No hearing that is what’s annoying. Tones are hard for us to understand so while most people pick up on it autistic people are more likely to read too much into it or take it seriously. It’s simple to use tone indicators in text or even to say “I’m joking”. It won’t make your joke less funny. It’ll just help us understand more.

Be specific if you want things from us. Don’t just say “hey I need a pencil”. Or “the dishwasher needs put away”. Most likely we’ll just be like, yeah, ok, and? Be specific please. Say things like “can I borrow a pencil?” or “can you undo the dishwasher?”.

Faces seeming to look weird. A lot of us having facial stims that can alter our faces. Whether it’s excessive blinking, eyebrow raising, or face scrunches. Don’t ask us what’s wrong with our face or what we are doing. For me, because of my facial stims & tics my eyes/eyebrows are permanently uneven. Don’t bring it up.

Classroom behavior charts are horrible. Autistic people don’t behave the same as allistic people. Simple as that. What they see as ok behavior, others don’t. & some times they don’t realize these behaviors will get them in trouble.

Police brutality. Especially in black or brown autistic people. It’s so common that people call the police on autistic people stimming in public because they are seen as dangerous. & when these autistic people can’t understand what’s going on or can’t make eye contact they are labeled as more suspicious. Especially black autistic people. Just look at Elijah McLean.

Feeling dumb. Especially in schools or other scholarly conversations. Some autistic people aren’t able to keep up or fully understand everything that’s being said or presented. Which leads to us feeling dumb. Give us time to process or aso questions please.

Feeling robotic. You’ve most likely heard autistic people being compared to robots at one point or another. Whether that’s for the impaired ability to establish empathy or something else it’s an extremely negative & hurtful stereotype. Especially in media.

Saying ‘I forgot’ is a valid excuse. There is so much going on in our heads. So much to process & remember. We forget things. Everyone forgets things. Especially autistic people. Please don’t yell at us for always forgetting to do the dishes. It’s not like we chose to forget.

The harmful effects of the vaccines cause autism jokes. Aside from the whole anti vaxers debate, perpetually the idea that we shouldn’t be vaccinated because it causes autism is disgusting. It’s treating autism like a disease. Like the person who has it isn’t worthy. Or that autism is so chronic it will ruin everything. It’s like people avoiding cheese burgers because it’s rumored they make you ginger. It’s preposterous. 

Yelling at autistic people for struggling to want to learn new concepts/concepts at all. This not only goes for in school but in just normal conversation. It’s hard for autistic people to grasp things they don’t have an interest in learning. So please don’t yell at us for not understanding everything about a band that we don’t care about, we would if we could. It might not seem like a big issue but it happens more than you’d think.

Intrusive thoughts. (Tw: rape mention & violence) Most of the time autistic people experience extreme spells of intrusive thoughts “omg he’s going to rape you image him raping you” or “stab yourself in the side right now” or much worse. & when autistic (and other) people try to talk about it they are labeled crazy or insane. It’s a normal occurrence to have these kinds of thoughts. We don’t want to. But they happen. That’s why they’re called intrusive.

Executive disfunction. This is basically when autistic people are views as lazy but we physically & mentally just can’t. Where tasks as seemingly simple as going to get a glass of water feels like a mountain to autistic people. It’s not that we are lazy. We physically & mentally can’t work up to it.

Class rank & graduation requirements are unfair. Autistic people socialize differently. It’s just a fact. Our brains work differently in classes & outside of it. We could be working our asses off to understand our English class book, but we get an F. Not to mention how most schools require community service hours to graduate. Yes community service is good but it can be very hard for autistic people.

Please feel free to add on but a lot of these are drawn from personal frustrations. Please listen to autistic & other disabled people more. All these also applies to those with ADHD/ADD or any other mental illness where the situations apply. You’re all valid & amazing.

I love you all. 💕

[swapauanon]

Let me put it like this, though: What you are suggesting is that a man born with a frail body that leaves him dependent on his sister's Semblance for survival can ONLY ever be a parasitic abuser, even if he doesn't want to be. That rhetoric is used to demonize real disabled people who are often unable to leave their homes or even feed themselves and rely on the whims of their family and neighbors to survive. All further humiliating him would do at this point is REINFORCE those harmful ideas. On a meta level, I want to believe that CRWBY is better than that. Because I am ALSO fucking disabled, and I'm TIRED of people acting like the way my brain is wired makes me less human!

The fact that he needs a caretaker due to his fragile body is treated as an inherently abusive action by Theodore, even though it's something he never asked for.

The Volume 9 epilogue showed him and Gil looking DEEPLY uncomfortable with Tyrian and Mercury.

Plus, his Semblance requiring PHYSICAL CONTACT TO WORK, meaning he'd likely only be able to use it on Salem ONCE if he jumped ship.

And, as I already mentioned, he's a self-loathing wreck who ended Before the Dawn ATTEMPTING SUICIDE as a last ditch effort to at least have SOME agency in his final moments.

The fact of the matter is that they NEED to do something more interesting with him than "generic evil cripple who's too much of a parasitic weakling to be anything more than a drain on resources".

There's also the fact that Theodore uses ACTUAL ableist language when describing him (reminder: "parasite" is a SLUR when used to describe disabled people), and Theodore explicitly only hates Jax because he physically CAN'T take care of himself.

At the end of the day, he and Gillian are in a sustained misunderstanding of what they really want.

Jax attended Shade Academy because he wanted to prove he could be useful, and Gil was uninterested in becoming a Huntress, only attending so she could help him achieve his dream.

When Theodore expelled Jax for being disabled, Gillian dropped out so she could take care of her brother.

We don't know who's idea the Crown was, only that all of the WILLING members were more loyal to Gillian.

Because Gillian's Semblance (which manifested when she was about four or five years old) allows her to transfer Aura between different people, their father decided that her Semblance must be the reason Jax was born so weak. As her Semblance requires her to consciously KEEP any Aura she transfers from going back to its original owner, this lead to Jax believing that his sister was LYING about loving him the entire time and was holding his own SOUL hostage to keep him dependent on her.

In the book, he reluctantly goes along with whatever Gil wants, believing she'll let him die if he doesn't, until he stops caring about whether he lives or dies and just wants to go down in a blaze of glory.

And then he got a psychic lobotomy courtesy of Yatsuhashi, meaning it's unclear how much he even remembers, or if he's even able to mentally function on the same level as he could in Before the Dawn.

So we don't even know if he's WILLINGLY serving Salem or is just a confused shell of his former self going along with what Gillian THINKS he wants.

It would be EXTREMELY unsatisfying for the boy who was constantly rejected by his own people because of his own body to be written off as beyond redemption, because Jax believes HIMSELF to be an unlovable monster beyond hope of redemption, thanks to everyone except someone he thinks is LYING to him telling him that's all he can ever be.

After all, nobody in Vacuo ever saw him as HUMAN. The only hope he ever had for a brighter future was his father telling him he was descended from royalty. Why WOULDN'T that lead to him being resentful?

Seriously, Jax isn't like Adam or Ironwood. He's someone who genuinely TRIED and still WANTS to be good, but has been rejected every time he's tried. He chose cruelty because nobody would LET him be good. Nobody would LET him EXIST. I do not think tearing him down FURTHER is the solution here, when all constantly tearing him down for reasons beyond his control is what drove him to Salem in the first place.

Honestly, what I'm really hoping for is that someone will call Theodore out for his BLATANT bigotry that was NEVER challenged in Before the Dawn. Jax is only a threat because Theodore treated him like an inconvenience instead of a person.

If he's still like he is in Before the Dawn, then odds are he'll probably be EXTREMELY self sabotaging while "serving" Salem, hoping that either her enemies will kill him on the field of battle or that she will put him out of his misery if he disappoints her enough, all the while Gillian is running interference and helping Salem because she wants to protect her brother from her wrath AND thinks he wants Vacuo destroyed for driving him this far in the first place.

Thus why I would prefer to have him be SAVED rather than written off as subhuman trash. He's been humiliated, abused, and exploited enough by people professing themselves to be heroes. Why shouldn't one of the actual heroes just put their foot down and say "No, what you did to him was wrong, and what he's become as a result of how YOU treated him doesn't retroactively justify it! I'm going to clean up YOUR mess and make this world one ACTUALLY worth saving!"

Takeaways from the Volume 9 Epilogue:

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One thing I really like about Oscar’s ‘If there was anything I wish I could borrow from you…’ monologue is that it laid out/confirmed something I’ve always felt was a major aspect of Oscar’s dynamic with Ruby that I nonetheless feel a lot of the fandom has missed: That Oscar very much sees Ruby as a mentor and an example to follow, and how their dynamic is specifically a foil to what we saw between Ruby and Ozpin. That Ruby acts as a mentor and example to Oscar in the same way Ozpin was to Ruby, and that Ruby is a far BETTER mentor and example to Oscar than Ozpin ever was to her. Which, as an aside, is a dynamic I can’t help but feel a lot of people have been misinterpreting as ‘ship-teasing’ and is one of the main reasons I’ve simply never been able to see Oscar as any kind of viable love-interest to Ruby. Frankly the dynamic of ‘Ruby is the mentor and example to Oscar that Ozpin couldn’t be for her’ is simply so much more INTERESTING than any kind of romance could ever hope to be.

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Even in animatic form, Winter basically going overdrive on the maiden powers was a sight to behold. And her own monologue had all the self-deprecation we were expecting. Our girl is clearly holding on by a thread and it’s going to be REAL interesting seeing how she reacts and adjusts to her sister not actually being dead. As in, I can imagine a situation where Winter tries to throw herself into a heroic sacrifice with the belief that Weiss would make a better Maiden than her.

Also, Winter’s monologue giving major focus to how Penny is super-super-dead-dead-and-definitely-not-coming-back-for-really-realsies, as she is talking to the sister who she ALSO believes is DEFINITELY also dead? Specifically with the words that Penny is gone, when Penny’s last words to her were that she’d be ‘part of you’?

Yeah, there is no way in hell we’ve seen the last of Penny XD

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The CROWN. Like it was only a few shots, but as someone who read the CFVY Books (which you totally should if you haven’t, they’re great), holy shit I was NOT expecting them to pop up here.

I mean, in hindsight it makes perfect sense that they’d be involved in Volume 10. They’re basically Vacuo’s equivalent to Vale’s criminal element and the White Fang splinter faction as Salem’s co-opted insurgency group, with Jax and Gillian joining Roman, Adam and Jacques as the latest of Salem’s unwitting patsies. It’s definitely going to be real interesting seeing the crew deal with them. Like it’s really fun to imagine Team RWBY in particular being kind of exasperated at seeing Jax’s probably doing a whole ‘With Salem’s help I shall be King!’ shtick after everything they’ve seen with Roman, Adam and Jacques.

Oh and if you don’t know, Jax has a mind-control semblance, so him trying to use that on Yang could actually lead to a sneaky callback to the Justice League crossover, ie; Yang doing a ‘Yeah, I’m not doing THAT shit again.’ XD

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Qrow’s whole vibe through this is fascinating. Like his section may have been the one we already saw, but after seeing the abject depression and growing despair of all the other characters, Qrow actually being OPTIMISTIC hit so much harder.

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Raven showing up at the end is… interesting.

I’ll admit that ever since we saw that specific clip a few months back, I’ve been rather conflicts about Raven showing up to deliver RWBY+J to Vacuo, particularly after Ruby’s tree vision. Like for one it felt a bit random and unnecessary. The tree already deposited the Ever After team outside of Vacuo so they didn’t exactly need help getting there. Not to mention that it kind of clotheslines the story-thread set up by Ruby’s vision; that she now has a reason to track Raven down to get the ANSWERS to what happened to Summer. Finally, it’s just kind of… random? Like where did Raven even come from to get the team?

But now having seen the clip with its intended context, I’m definitely more on board with it. Particularly hearing from Kerry and Eddy that the original ending for the penultimate episode had RWBY+J going through the portal to arrive at their memorial stone, and met by a ‘Mysterious Figure’, ie; Raven. Here it feels like were getting more set up to get answers later as to what Raven was doing at the memorial.

And really, now that I’ve thought about it more, this method kind of puts the thread of Ruby going to Raven for answers even MORE into focus. Like the story reintroduces Raven in the present right after Ruby got a vision basically saying ‘hey, Raven is important’. And now going into Volume 10, we’re pretty much perfectly positioned for Ruby to pull Raven aside for those all-important ‘Why were you fucking my mom? What happened to my mom?’ questions.

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Finally… yeah that ending hit me a LOT harder than I was expecting. Like that ending was HOPE in its purest form and it was honestly beautiful to see. Particularly right now with the future of the show seeming so uncertain. I’ve personally been optimistic about RWBY’s future (in a manner not unlike Qrow’s vibes I suppose lol), but damn the hopefulness of that ending hit especially hard, and was something I’ll admit I needed. And I imagine the rest of us could use as well.

We'll be getting Volume 10. And 11, and 12, and however many more it takes it finish this story. At this point, I have no doubt of that.