#not to mention multiple animation tools

[i3utterflyeffect]

He doesn't even know that victim doesn't know it's him. When he realizes he has kind of an "oh shit" moment of panic because now victim does know.

YEAH... THIS POOR DUDE HAS NO IDEA THAT VICTIM GENUINELY WANTS TO LIKE, TORTURE HIM.

[ooooo-mcyt]

I'd actually say the use of the soulmate trope in Double Life makes a great case for all the worst parts of the soulmate trope, being used to enforce a social structure around shame, heavy restriction, punishment, and isolation.

Look Scar, Grian, BigB, and Ren. At the start of the season Scar was treated like an idiot for not looking for his soulmate, like it was a personal failing that he would take more interest in animals and call them his soulmates rather than look for the person he was bound to. Meanwhile a lot of the tension between BigB and Ren came from this idea that Ren's connection with Martyn- which had existed for seasons prior- was bad because Ren was supposed to, by dictate of the universe, be with BigB.

And then Grian and BigB form a connection outside their soulmates (which, for the record, they wanted to be together in episode one from before they even found out who their soulmates were, but felt like they weren't 'allowed' to be because they weren't soulmate) and are regarded as 'cheaters' with their soulmates being pitied for it.

Scott and Cleo were also scrutinized heavily within the server, regarded with pity, confusion, or even judgment by a number of people Multiple people acted awkward around them, or tried to 'console' them with the assumption that they were miserable, or in a very extreme case you had Jimmy calling their relationship "fake" multiple times and, during an argument, taunting them with "You ain't even real soulmates- when you go to bed at night, and you fall asleep, just remember, the last thought in your heads is 'oh, we're not really soulmates'."

And honestly I heavily suspect a large part of the reason Pearl was so isolated during Double Life is because of the isolation of soulmate pairs. Because soulmates were seen as this special connection superseding and outweighing any other, forming real connections outside of the soulmate pair was heavily discouraged. This meant that while plenty of people pitied Pearl (which also reinforced the idea that she should be miserable), she was always treated as part of an out-group by soulmate pairs, making it impossible for her to find real friends after being rejected by her soulmate.

There were many times as well where, generally, soulmate pairs who weren't happy together or who were having massive issues were pressured into trying to force things to work because they felt like they had to be with their soulmate and knew there was nowhere else for them to really go outside of that one connection, even if they weren't happy with it.

Not to mention the way the soulbound itself was, in multiple cases, abused and made into a tool of punishment in of itself. This is seen most apparently in the divorce quartet in which they all hurt themselves to "punish" the other. Scott came up with the idea of axe crits to "scare" their soulmates which Cleo was happy to join in with, and Pearl used methods such as powdered snow to "torture" Scott as well as specifically growing fond of holding the idea that she could kill them both over Scott's head. But even beyond it's use in the divorce quartet, Scar also very notably participated in this. In fact, he was the one who came up with the idea to use powdered snow to "torture" your soulmate because Scar wanted a way to punish Grian for asking him to help with chores.

Like I genuinely just cannot stress enough how much Double Life was a proof of concept for the soulmate trope being a complete nightmare. Literal horror trope.

[foone]

There exist another dimension called The Empty World. It's very much like ours, in fact it seems to have been identical up until a few weeks ago, but it always seems that way. If you go there today, it was identical in late february, and if you go there this october, it'll have been identical until september.

It's empty, as you might guess. There's no humans, and no animals bigger than a cockroach. The sky is grey, and it slowly rains ash. It's colder than our world by a bit, enough to require a jacket even in summer. The streets are empty, the cars parked neatly in their garages or in lots, but they're all empty and abandoned, their doors locked like they expect their owners to return any minute now.

The newspapers left on stands don't mention any oncoming disaster. We have no idea what the TV or internet would have said: the power is out. The power is very, very out. Not just the grid, but batteries are drained. The cars won't start, the emergency lights are out, and anything with solar panels seems to be getting less energy than you'd expect, even with the perpetually overcast sky.

It's a very silent world, like the calm after a snowstorm. Sounds don't seem to echo as much as they should, nor does sound seem to travel as far. The radio spectrum is empty except for static, there's no one transmitting on any frequency.

There's fewer fires than you'd expect. Even places you'd expect to soon catch fire without human intervention are still standing, undamaged. Campfires can be lit but with difficulty: something is keeping them from burning as they should. Even if you pour kerosene on a campfire it'll barely grow, it's like something sucked the energy out of everything.

All the locked buildings are still locked. Alarms don't sound if you break in (understandable, given the power situation), and of course no one comes to investigate. So The Empty World is your oyster: you can break in wherever you want (provided you can physically do it: some doors are pretty hard to pry open even with tools), take whatever you want, and bring it back here.

Everything resets when you leave. You always enter The Empty World like it's your first time there, like this just happened and you're late to the party... but the party keeps getting rescheduled. You can even take something multiple times if you want.

When you enter The Empty World you get there at the same relative position as you are on this world. If you're in New York, you show up in the empty New York. If you're in Topeka, you show up in empty Topeka. So you have to travel around this world to get to where you want, and you can't just appear in the middle of a bank vault... unless you break into the vault from this world. (So it's great if you work at a bank and want to steal from your employer without repercussions, but not so useful otherwise).

You don't just have to take things, you know. You can take computers and files and books and diaries. You will have to deal with recharging laptops and breaking through any security when you get back, but it's doable.

So, imagine you've just gotten access to The Empty World. What are you going to do with it? What will you take, and where will you go?

[capsyst]

Here’s a breakdown of my animation.

Once I created the cave set in 3D, I retextured all of the blocks to be a wireframe so I could more easily keep the proportions correct as the camera moved through the scene. I began with a simple box person body. Not only did this help me make sure the proportions were correct but the different angles and sides of the character helped me eventually keep the characters features in the right places later. It’s very rough, but it was a good indication that I was on the right track.

Then began the tedious process of refining the animation. I did a new pass over the original animation with all the features of the character. It’s more detailed, but it’s just as rough in a lot of ways. I wasn’t trying to ensure elements were consistent frame to frame, so you can see a lot of the linework is very wobbly and inconsistent.

Once that was done I went back and did a cleanup phase. This helped smooth out all those inconsistencies and I worked on making sure the animation was smooth and flowed nicely. This became the basis for the final inks and color.

When I’d gotten far enough into working on the scene I went back to the 3D model and rendered it out in multiple passes. I did a flat lighting pass which you see here, and then a shadow pass. I combined the two in Premiere, added some color adjustments and then rendered it out to be used as the background for the final product.

I imported the finished rendered background into Procreate Dreams and began the final coloring. I’d already previously decided on the desaturated colors that would make them fit in this cave environment, so coloring was actually a breeze.

The final two elements that really brought it all together was a shadow layer and a glow layer for the torch. The shadow layer was tricky, but it definitely helps make it seem like the character is interacting with the environment.

As previously mentioned I thought I was going to import this into Procreate and animate it there since I like the Animation Assist tool in Procreate more than I do with how Dreams works. But ultimately because so much of this animation was tied to the movement of the camera I ended up animating ALL of this in Procreate Dream.

I’m really proud of my work here. If there’s anything you wanna learn more about how I worked or anything please feel free to ask, I’d be more than happy to talk about the process more!

[great-and-small]

How many studies have been done on heron intelligence? There's records of multiple species fishing with bait, they seem pretty smart but never get included in pop sci conversations on avian intelligence

I’m not sure if I can think of an experimental study on heron intelligence specifically but I know there are plenty of observational studies describing the bait luring you mentioned as well as other behaviors we humans like to associate with intelligence, like play activity, tool use, and problem solving. I personally feel that a black heron’s canopy feeding behavior is one of the most remarkable displays of practical intelligence in the animal kingdom! The best place to explore this literature imo is HeronConservation.org which is an amazing resource for any Ardeidae enthusiasts. They have tons of fully accessible articles from their journal (Journal of Heron Biology and Conservation) and the website is just very visually nice to look at and easy to navigate while also being extremely informative! Here’s an article from their website about a heron using a stick as a fishing lure, super good stuff on this site.

As for me, while I completely agree that herons are underrated for their smarts, the more I think about our concept of intelligence in animals the more I struggle to confidently declare one species of wild animal smarter than another. As world-renowned crane expert George Archibald said on crane intelligence “Sure, if you put them in front of a computer they don’t do much, but if I dropped you on the tundra in spring you wouldn’t do much either. It’s all relative”. If a toad has evolved a brain that perfectly serves its purposes in regard to being a toad, is it really fair to say that toad is less intelligent than something like a dog? Either way, the toad doesn’t care because it’s perfect at being a toad.

That said, it is curious that herons aren’t often included in popsci discussions of bird intelligence (which are in my experience nearly dominated by the ever-popular corvids). I would say herons are probably one of the families of birds that most people around the globe have some opportunity to witness their hunting behavior, which is where their intelligence shines the most. It would be hard for anyone to watch a heron fishing or stalking and come away completely unimpressed. Back in the day, people used to think that Great Blue Herons excreted a fish-attracting oil from their legs as they thought this was the only reasonable explanation for a heron’s spectacular success when fishing. But nope, they really are just that good! I suppose the type of practical intelligence and hunting adaptations that we see in herons are maybe not as flashy as stuff like crows voting to make group decisions, but I agree that the herons deserve a little more attention!

One last little story on the complex inner lives of herons just because I think you’ll like it- a British biologist named Julian Huxley was studying herons in Louisiana in the 1920’s and specifically observing the courtship displays of tricolored herons. He recounted seeing two courting birds suddenly in perfect synchronicity lift their wings and call out, then intertwine their necks in a graceful movement as they preened one another’s feathers. Huxley’s comment on seeing this display is a quote I think about all the time:

“Of this I can only say that it seemed to bring such a pitch of emotion that I could have wished to be a Heron that I might experience it."

[smileysuh]

dark protector - TEASER

🌙 starring. Choi Seungcheol x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “When I’m balls deep in your pussy, watching you writhe under me, listening to your pretty sounds- that will be the cherry on top of this birthday,” he explains. “Thank you for wanting to make me feel good, but- usually, baby, I like to be the giver.”

tw/cw. mentions of past relationship abuse/trauma/cheating, alcohol, bar fights, Cheol gets grazed with a knife, unprotected sex, dry humping, hand job, blow job, pussy eating, fingering, pleasure dom!Cheol, breast worship, dirty talk, praise, size kink/manhandling, multiple reader orgasms, groping, Cheol is a big muscled tattooed man, creampie, birthday sex, etc… I pet names: (hers) baby.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 14.2k

🍭 aus. tattoo/motorcycle au, nurse!reader, soulmates, etc…

☀️ mlist + an.  The tarot deck used in the prologue is ‘The Wild Unknown Animal Spirit Guide Deck’ by Kim Krans. I had so much fun exploring a more spiritual-themed plot, the idea of soulmates and spirit guides and such :)

Seungcheol gives you the space to unwind. He doesn’t pester you with questions about the altercation with your ex at the bar, and you’re grateful for it.

“You’re not hurt, are you?” he asks finally.

You shake your head, your eyes dopping to his hands. “You’re hurt though.”

“Just bruised knuckles,” he assures you. 

“There’s blood,” you insist. “I’ll-”

“Tell me where your first aid kit is and I’ll grab it.” 

You direct him to the cupboard in your bathroom, and he returns with it, setting the case onto your coffee table. 

“How’s your shoulder?” you ask as you take out the tools you’ll need.

“Almost better, I heal fast,” he says softly.

It feels good to focus on his wounds rather than your own, and you gently clean the scrapes on his hand. His right fist is pretty badly bruised, and you do your best to treat it. Then you begin to slowly wrap his knuckles, taking your time. Two wraps around his wrist, diagonal across the top to his pinky, under the hand, to the pointer, diagonal- 

It’s a nice repetition of motions, and when you’re all done, you lift his hand to your lips, gently pressing a kiss to his knuckles. “All better.”

You look up at Seungcheol, and he stares back.

Then, he slowly moves in, carefully watching your expression. He stops just an inch from your lips, and you can feel his breath on your face. He’s waiting for you to make the final move, for you to be the one with control.

With one last look at your beautiful, dark protector, you close the distance.

☀️ to read the full fic AND 2.6k bonus NOW, subscribe to my Patreon, then click here

👹 or wait till the fic is posted on tumblr August 23rd, 2024

🔮 see what’s already available to read on my m.list

interact with this post to be tagged, priority given to reblogs/replies cuz tagspace is limited :)

[aceecee]

Insatiable - Chapter Five

TW for this chapter: murder, themes of obsession and possessiveness, brief mention of a panic attack, ooc sylus*, mean sylus, down bad sylus - has some naughty thoughts about you

* technically they are all out of character but I have no idea how the love interests act towards others who aren't MC, we have some snippets here and there but it's not enough. a lot is left up to interpretation so if you don't agree with mine, I can't do anything about it

Synopsis: Sylus pushes you too far, unaware that you might not come back.

WC: 5.3K

Masterlist

He can no longer live without you. You’re just like the air he needs to breathe. So, let him partake in you.

 For his survival. 

The city comes alive at night. During the day it feels like a ghost town at times but the night is when the sinners awaken and their appetite is never satiated. The hushed whispers in alleys, the not so odd gunshot you hear in the distance and the pleads of the victims all go ignored. The people here are smart. They know not to get involved.

But it is not the people she seeks. No. The one she’s hunting is yet another arrogant man with too much money and time in his hands. No matter how many of these animals she puts down, another simply takes his place.

The man thinks himself on top of the world, living on the top floor of the skyscraper. He feels like he’s untouchable. He thinks he’s safe.

He hasn’t even noticed her circling around him for days, watching her prey. Taking notice of every detail of his life. Of his betrayal. 

It’s what makes her such a great hunter. She’s patient, going days without nutrition just to complete her hunt. Not a single prey has escaped her.

And this man is no exception.

She watches him - lounging around on his sofa - all of it clear to her thanks to the large windows. She’s standing on the rooftop of the building next to him, watching him through binoculars and he still has no fucking idea. There’s guards stationed by the door of the room but they’re useless against her.

All she needs is the view of him to complete the job.

It’s all played out for her, like a scene out of a movie. She experiences it all with a wicked glint in her eyes, her favourite part is coming up, the anticipation might just kill her. He hunches over in pain but no sound escapes him as a vine covers his mouth, silencing him. His eyes are bloodshot as he feels multiple things inside him, swarming and looking for escape. 

One does.

It shoots out of his chest.

Then another.

This time through his left ear. 

It continues until he looks more of an abomination of nature rather than a man.

He’s left on the couch. Silenced forever. 

The last thing she’s ever thought of herself is an artist but she has created a masterpiece. 

Sylus stares at his hands. [Name] had left his office a little while ago and he’s been stuck in this haze since. He can still remember the feel of her skin against, the warmth of her body and how right it all had left.

He still feels the anger at your little sacrificial lamb act. How dare you even think about leaving him? 

This Eiden was a pathetic little coward. Still hiding behind his sister even when you’re considered dead. Sylus has been watching him the past year. Your brother has never done anything to find you, Sylus doesn’t care if he was hospitalized. The fool had gone and gotten married but couldn’t lift a finger for his family? 

There was no memory of you left in your brother’s house, Eiden was all too happy to forget about you and yet you’re still worried about him. 

And if that wasn’t enough, Eiden now has his Mara looking after him. How greedy. 

His mind is in a disarray. His being filled with turmoil. He’s not supposed to feel this way about you. His love is only for the woman who killed him. And that’s not you. 

No more of this. No more of feeling anything for you. 

She’s just a tool, he reminds himself.

And it’s time he treats you like one.

You find yourself back in your bedroom.

How you got here was not remembered. It all felt like a blur. 

Your gaze is on your wrist. The very one that Sylus had grabbed over a year ago. Your other hand curls around your wrist, trying to mimic the way he had. His touch had felt like acid on your skin back then so what changed?

Why had your mind and body deemed it okay? 

I don’t fucking know.

Insomnia has nothing on the current exhaustion you feel. The sleep is just what you need.

The rubbery texture of the mat has become a familiar sensation to you. You often find yourself face planting onto it.

He’s a monster. Relentless. 

Your entire body aches and not in a good way!

You had made the mistake of getting comfortable because now your body was subjected to a different type of torture daily.

Sparring with him. 

This was the deal you had accepted two months ago. You had served his finances well but his endgame for you was different. You’ve rested this last year and your body is much better.

Just like Sylus wanted.

So, now it’s time to train it. As you feel your muscles ache, you can’t help but think it was a bad idea to confide in him about your evol. Because now, he’s set on seeing how far your endurance can take you. How much you can handle.

And it’s made more infuriating due to the fact that it’s working. The torture forced upon you for years had left you capable of accomplishing more with your evol than you could during your childhood. But your body was malnourished so even that was stunted. It’s all changed now though. 

You’re also curious as to how far you can go. For the first time in all your lives you feel powerful. You can feel the potential brimming inside you, almost like it’s just out of your reach. It’s an addictive thing and unfortunately you’re hooked. 

Creating plants out of nothing isn’t the limit to what you can do. You remember how your body had moved on its own during your childhood, helping a certain someone calm down from his evol flaring up. Golden vines had wrapped around his body - glowing - and they had healed all his cuts and stopped him from losing control. Of course, you paid the price by sacrificing your body again. But something tells you that the vines are only the start. 

It’s why you don’t say anything as he knocks you off your feet once again. Two months of this and you haven’t made much progress. You can see the frustration inside Sylus and it worries you. Worried that he’ll throw you away.

A few months ago, these thoughts would have never crossed your mind. He kept you at a distance, sure, but he had always treated you with respect. In his own way, he kept reassuring you that such a thing would no longer happen…but something had changed.

Ever since he had comforted you in his office, he had been cold. Not just cold but sometimes scary. You have no idea where you stand with him. He no longer spoke to you in a teasing tone, no longer seeked you out and as rare it was for him to join your wacky adventures with the twins, now it never happens. He mostly communicates through Mephisto. The only time you see him is during your sparring sessions. He shows no hint of emotion in his eyes or face and it stings. 

You hate that it stings. 

His hold as he picks you up is gentle but it doesn’t feel like it. The dread at his touch is back too. But you’re too afraid to give it away. Afraid that if you don’t become what he wants you to then you’ll be disposed of. 

“This isn’t working,” his eyes glare at you. He’s brought you closer to his body, face to face. Your black long sleeved shirt is good at hiding how sweaty you are. But your hair is a mess and you’re breathing heavily. He’s wearing a red tank top with black shorts, looking as composed as ever. You don’t even have the mind to admire him like this as your heart sinks to your stomach. Yet another person has deemed you a failure. 

No. No. No.

I promise I’ll do better. I promise-

It’s hard to sign any of the words with the speed at which your pleas bombard your mind. None of it matters as he throws your wrist out of his hold and storms out. 

You can’t even hear the choked gasps that escape from you. You can’t hear your breath shortening as you forget how to do the action. Somehow you can’t even hear your thoughts as the four walls around you seem to sway and close in on you. You make no noise as you fall to your knees and it kills you inside.

You’re left laying down on the gym mat. 

The house is quiet now.

No longer do the occupants wake up to the sounds of clanging in the kitchen, no longer do they smell the food cooking and no longer do they see you. 

Sylus hadn’t met you in the gym the next day. Or the next. 

You take the hint and stop waiting for him.

You spend all your free time holed up in your room. You only leave for work. You haven’t signed in over a week as you refuse to cross paths with anyone. You left his card on his work desk, only to find it on your nightstand upon your return. You don’t push it by doing it again but you don’t use it.

Mary had sent you a text informing you that the kids wanted to see you but you responded by letting her know you were on a work trip. You didn’t want to put on a fake smile and pretend that everything was okay. That you were okay. 

Luke and Kieran try to knock on your bedroom door but you never answer. The door is locked but it would pose no challenge for them to pick it. They don’t. It doesn’t stop them from trying to get you to come out though. 

“[Name], come get food with us.” 

“[Name], come play this new board game with us.”

“[Name], come commit arson with us.” 

None of it works. 

Your window is kept locked and the curtains are always drawn. You can hear Mephisto pecking at it but again you don’t respond. 

On day five of your self-imposed isolation, you find yourself waking up with too much energy. You can only think of one thing to release it and that’s how you find yourself in the gym, tying up the boxing gloves as you stand before a punch bag.

Hand-to-hand combat was what Sylus had labelled you as a failure in so perhaps working the muscles would help.

The first punch you throw is half-assed.

How pathetic.

His voice speaks for you in your mind.

The second is too shaky.

How weak.

The third doesn’t even make the bag move.

Failure. 

It repeats in your mind.

Failure. Failure. Failure. 

It continues until you feel the white hot rage.

How was any of this your fault? Had you asked to be brought into this world? To be kidnapped? To be forced to watch your family be murdered in front of you and be the reason why? To be tortured and forced to experience unimaginable horrors? Did you beg for your mind to be broken over and over again?

Had you asked him to save you?

No, he had done so on his own. And now he wanted to throw a temper tantrum when things didn’t go his way.

Because you weren’t what he wanted? Who he wanted?

In your anger you don’t realise as your leg picks up and collides with the punching bag. However, you do notice as the force makes it fall off its hinges and smash against the wall. A good distance away from you.

You stand there gaping as the bag falls down, leaving a sizable dent in the wall.

“Always full of surprises aren’t you?” A voice purrs in your ear.

In your shock you hadn’t noticed the asshole entering and positioning himself right behind you. In a small act of rebellion, you push yourself away from him.

[Don’t touch me.] 

Red eyes widen a bit. It’s a surprise to see him open and close his mouth a few times, trying to think of what to say but falling short. He looks to be in contemplation before nodding and taking a step away from you. 

You’ve never seen him rattled. A part of you is smug. It’s a beautiful sight. 

What would he look like on his knees, your thoughts wander. 

“Meet me here again tomorrow?” it’s phrased like a demand but he speaks it like a question. His eyes look over your face but you give nothing away.

You nod.

This time it’s you who walks away.

Sylus is a fool.

He lasted not even four days after he walked out on you before finding himself at your bedroom door, hand raised to knock but staying in place. The only time he’s seen you these last few days is the small glimpses of you at work. You’ve isolated yourself and he knows it's serious when you’ve even shut Mephisto out. 

He wanted to use his position as your boss to force you to show yourself, especially when he found his credit card on his desk but after some contemplation, he concluded it’ll do more harm than good.

Pride does settle in him when he realised all the cameras were gone so he can’t even check up on you using them but it’s mostly overshadowed by frustration.

This is all his doing. He had been so focused on seeing results that he had overlooked the mental battle taking place in your mind. He should be happy that his plan worked, he treated you like a tool, successfully manipulated you into being desperate for his approval so why doesn’t it feel like a victory? 

Sylus has never heard you talk but he didn’t know one could be silent in other ways and it stings.

He hates that it stings.

He’s conflicted. Maybe it’s for the better that the two of you stay like this because the fact that he has gotten so attached to you in such a short amount of time is exactly why he did this. He can live with emotional pain, he’s been doing so for far too long.

But can he live without you?

He finds himself unable to answer his own mind.

He puts his hand down, into his pocket because he doesn’t trust his own body right now.

And he walks away.

He’s a fool.

He won’t apologise for it. 

He saw it all.

The quiet fury in your eyes that you could no longer express with your words. The raising of your leg as it collided with the bag. The sheer force it took for the bag to leave a dent in his fucking wall.

Desire pools in his gut at your show of strength.

It doesn’t help that you look so good in your workout attire. It clings to you in all the right ways. All those memories of pinning you to the mat and having you under him resurface. Sylus hadn’t shown it but he was utterly grateful at his restraint because it would’ve been so easy to have you in those moments.

His body moves on his own and before he knows it, he’s right behind you. He’s tried so hard to forget the feel of you against his body but his mind still yearns for it. He doesn’t touch you but he’s close enough.

You’re too shocked to even notice him.

How cute.

But then he ruins it by opening his mouth and something inside him breaks when you pull away.

[Don’t touch me.]

Your unspoken words ring in his head. Over and over again. 

You’ve rendered him speechless and for that he has to give credit where credit is due.

Sylus has walked away from you too many times to count and he can’t help but think when you do it to him.

Is that how he made you feel?

The room has changed the next time you enter.

The gym equipment has all been moved to the corners. Instead it looks more like something out of those spy movies you liked to watch. One area of the room is set up as a shooting range. There are four lanes, each with their own target. On the wall are various guns, none of which you have any knowledge of. You hated them in your first life so you never knew a thing about them. The guns in the game are a bit different, more technical.

There’s another area with training dummies. No weapons around them. Another area is set up as some type of simulator, you think. You don’t think you’ll ever get used to the technology of this world.

You hear them before you see them.

“Boss sure moved fast to make this happen,” Luke says. “Seems like we’re no longer the favourite child Lukey,” Kieran pouts. They stand before you, leaning on the other.

[You were never the favourite, that goes to Meph], they let an offended gasp at your declaration. Their antics never fail to make you feel better.

[Why have I been graced with your presence?] you ask.

“Cause we’re your new mentors. Boss’s orders.” They clarify together when you give them a confused look. It’s sometimes astonishing how much they move in sync, almost like they are one person. Not even you and Ei were that close.

“Now,” Kieran claps his hands, “...it’s come to our attention, little lady, that you pack a mean kick. But first, we have something to show you,”

Luke grabs your hand. It’s the first time he’s touched you and he realises this himself and drops it quickly. Before he can say anything, you grab it again. 

[What is it?]

You have no idea what expression he has on his face, you can’t see the look in his eyes thanks to the mask they wear but you hope he’s shocked. 

No way am I admitting that I feel safe around them, they’ll never let me hear the end of it.

Neither of them say anything but instead drag you to the spot on the wall that had the dent you created. You wish so badly you could cackle when you see what they’ve done to it. 

“Ta-daaa!” They give you jazz hands as they show off their work.

The hole is framed and there is a small plaque to the side of it. When you look at it closer, something is written on it.

Baby’s first victim. 

“Well, what do you think? It was my idea if you like it. Kieran’s if you don’t.” You hear an offended “Hey!”, followed by a smack. The twins bickering is interrupted by your clapping. When they turn to look at you, you’re staring at them with a wide smile.

[I love it.]

You regret the show of appreciation when two sets of hands start pinching your cheeks, cooing at you. 

For the last month, the twins had trained you in every fighting style that specialised in using legs. You pick it all up fast. It’s exhilarating seeing the damage you can do. It’s reassuring to know that you’re strong with or without your evol. 

Also you’ve destroyed over a hundred dummies. Pat yourself on the back!

You haven’t seen Sylus in the last month but this time it doesn’t bother you. The only communication you’ve gotten with him is a message Mephisto relayed. “Focus on your training, don’t show up to work.” 

You don’t think you would have been able to concentrate when your entire body is constantly aching. Any free time you have is spent either at the orphanage or resting in your bed.

The twins and you have gotten even closer during this month. Close enough to divulge some secrets.

It’s yet another day.

Rather than taking your frustration out on the dummies, the twins want to spar. Which means you have to be wary of how much force you put in your kicks. Kieran decided to go against you first with Luke watching on the sidelines. 

But the kick you land on him is too hard, the force of it is known by the loud sound ricocheting throughout the room. Before you can drop everything and see if he’s okay, you notice it. You notice Luke holding his side in pain. The exact same spot you had just kicked his brother in. 

You’ll ask about it later but for now, you rush off to find the first aid kit. You examine the area on Kieran, he tried to play it off but the shake in his voice was too noticeable. The guilt must have been clear on your face because he relents when he notices the tears in your eyes.

You don’t want to hurt those you care about. Intentional or not. Physically or not.

Luckily there is no internal damage, just some bruising that should go away on its own. You give him an ice pack. Then you turn to Luke.

[Show me yours.] 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he crosses his arms and looks away.

You move yourself into his field of view and sign. [I’m not stupid, I noticed. Show me or I’ll tell the boss that it was you who drank his favourite wine.]

That sets him straight and he shows you. He’s given an ice pack as well.

It all makes sense how they seem to be so in sync, to the point where they feel everything the other does. It’s great, sure, but it’s a huge weakness. 

Take one down and the other does as well. 

Not on your watch.

[My evol kills me,] it’s only fair to let them know something of yours in exchange. You don’t have to see their faces to notice the confusion so you explain in more detail.

The three of you go out for some ice cream for comfort after.

This time it’s Sylus who is waiting for you in the room. He’s at the shooting range. You walk over. The boots you’re wearing make enough noise for him to hear. He turns to you and you freeze at the soft smile on his face. You narrow your eyes at him in distrust, making sure to keep a distance. What is he planning…

He only chuckles. “Relax, little bird. I only want to have an honest conversation with you.” Your body language relaxes a little but you’re still on edge. He continues his words when he notices, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m putting you through all this.” When you nod, he closes the distance. His hand reaches out to caress your cheek but stops before it makes contact. He’s gauging your reaction and continues when you don’t give him a reason to stop.

Your breath hitches when his fingers cradle your cheek. “It’s all for your benefit…and mine of course.” His eyes are hooded as they stare into yours. “I want you to slice the necks of each individual that did this to you,” his fingers move to the large scar across your neck. You tilt your head up to give him access. “Each individual that works for them will die by your hand only, I’ll make sure of it,” he promises you. And despite your mind screaming at you to not believe him, you do.

[And what do you gain out of this?] He laughs softly at your question. You know him so well. “I get a super soldier.”

He tugs you towards the shooting range. “Now, let's see how you fare with this.”

Sylus stares at his bedroom ceiling. 

The both of you had come to some sort of understanding with each other since then. He had taught you how to use guns and hand weapons, it’s dangerous for you to rely on your legs. He’s working towards getting you to be comfortable using your evol, but that won’t be for a while. You can be very stubborn when you want.

The guns hadn’t appealed to you like the blades had. You had settled on a pair of twin blades, the sword’s blade could extract leaving just the handles, which made them easy to carry. You asked them to be modified further, so they could be hot enough to cut through anything. It was an interesting ask, one that he indulged in. It took a while to develop, to find the perfect protocore that would work with it but he prevailed in the end. The giddiness in your face had made it all worth it. 

He’s fucked.

He still doesn’t know the answer to what you mean to him. All he’s aware of is that you can never leave him. You have a power over him that no one else does.

Like right now, you locked him inside his own room. He can easily escape but he’s not going to. Why? Because the image of the puppy eyes you had flashed at him pops up again. He’s about to set up an important deal, so sleep has been sacrificed. However, you noticed this and put your foot down. 

“It’s hardly fair, little bird. You never sleep.” You had taken up all the space in his bedroom door, your arms outstretched so he couldn’t leave. [I’m fucked in the head. What’s your excuse?] He only sighed, rubbing the space between his head. 

I don’t have time for this.

But when he looked back up, any thoughts of disagreement went out the window at the pleading look you gave him. [Please?]

That’s why he’s currently trying to glare a hole into the ceiling. He can’t believe he let you win. With a huff, he accepts his fate and closes his eyes.

The clock reads 8:00AM when he awakens. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he becomes all too aware of the silence throughout the house.

The uncharacteristic silence.

You don’t live with the twins and have a moment of peace. They don’t make it possible.

He’s rushing out the door. What are they up to? He does not want a repeat of last time. No, he can’t even think about it. 

The twins aren’t in their room, or in any of the other miscellaneous rooms in the house. He knocks on your door and opens it when no one answers. It’s also empty. Maybe the three of you have gone out together again, he calms himself down. 

Coffee.

He walks to the kitchen, passing by the living room but stops in his tracks. 

Found them.

They’re currently sitting down in the armchairs, tight ropes all around them. Their necks are slumped forward but the snores coming out of their mouths stop any panic. His eyes move over the couch. You’re sitting down on it. Still in your pajamas with a robe around you and fluffy slippers on. There’s a tablet in your hand and a steaming cup of coffee on the table. One hand is typing on the tablet while the other is giving head rubs to Mephisto, who is sitting on the couch’s arm rest. The bird looks very comfy at the affection he’s getting.

You look up when he enters, a warm smile on your face. You set the tablet down and get up to greet him. [Morning. Did you sleep well?”]

“I did,” he hums before pointing at the nuisances. “What’s all this?” You look at the direction, a mischievous look in your eyes. [I needed their help with something which they did! But they were being too loud and I was afraid they would wake you up so I handled it.] 

“By drugging them?” 

You give him a beaming smile in response. [Aren’t I a genius?] If you had a tail, it would be wagging. He smiles while imagining the sight. 

His hand brushes the stray hair out of your face. “Yes. Yes you are.” It moves down towards your wrist, his fingers lace with yours and he’s pulling you towards the kitchen, making sure to grab your cup of coffee. Mephisto follows behind. “Come. Let’s have breakfast together.” 

You instantly move to the fridge but look up at him when his hand slams the door shut. Sylus moves you towards the bar stool. “I’m cooking today. Just sit there and look pretty.”  He turns around and opens the fridge door. Simple eggs with toast will do. With the ingredients in hand, he moves to the stove. In a few minutes, the sound of the eggs sizzling can be heard with the toaster also on. He can feel your stare on him. 

As it should be.

He keeps an eye on you when you get up, heading to the coffee machine. You’re making it for him. The two of you are silent as you work, only the sounds of the equipment you’re using can be heard. You move towards him, and he accepts the cup. It’s just how he likes it.

[I’ll be back.] By the time you come back into the kitchen, he’s putting down the two plates on the table. The tablet is in your hand.

You sit down with him, looking for something on him and slide it to him when you do. He picks it up and reads it.

“This is…How-”

[I’ve been watching him for two weeks. As soon as you wanted the deal.] 

He puts the tablet down on the tablet. “Why?” arms crossed as he stares at you.

[Because he was too clean. Nothing on his finances, not even the hidden ones. No one is that clean when they live here. Certainly not someone that rich. I figured he’d mess up and I was right.] 

He continues to stare at you. A sign to not stop. 

[He has a mistress. Which wouldn’t be a problem but his wife has an iron tight prenup. One that’ll leave him with nothing if his infidelity is proven. That’s why I got the twins to…persuade him to take the deal. With a 5% loss to profit for him.] You wait for some sort of reaction from Sylus, you normally wouldn’t intervene with his business like this but you noticed the exhaustion in his eyes. Sure, it would've been easy for him to get what he wanted by brute force but that’s not how the world of business works. A reputation like that would only cause issues.

“Don’t do such a thing again,” he warns you. “That’s not why you’re here,” he pauses, “but good job.”

Later during the day when you return to your room, there’s a big stack of folders waiting for you. On them is a sticky note, ‘A reward,’ printed on it. When you open the folder’s it’s all the information he had promised you, about Eiden. But any thankfulness goes away at the dates listed. Sylus had been watching your brother for a long time, before the whole drama in his office. He already had all this information when he promised he’ll look into your brother. But he kept it these last couple of months. When you had disappointed him.

You can’t believe you trusted the words he spoke to you. You had hammered yourself down and begun anew for him. You’re letting him turn you into a killing machine. Your gaze falls back onto the sticky note.

Reward.

The word is sitting there, mocking you. What else is he keeping from you? Hiding it away and only letting you when you’ve satisfied him. 

With a new found resolve, you crush the note in your hands. Two years. He had invested a lot in you these two years so that’s what you’ll give him. The next two years, you’ll do whatever he wants. You’ll be whoever he wants. But as soon as the time is up, you’re gone.

Not just from him, from them all.

AN: We have Zayne in the next chapter!! Finally!!!

[knowledge-from-the-abyss]

Deity Work vs Deity Worship

What is deity worship? 

Deity worship is when you venerate and revere a deity/deities. There are many ways to do this;  there is no right or wrong way to worship a deity, it is whatever you feel drawn to do for them. Many people in the pagan community do this in their own unique way, while some will follow more organized, ritualistic ways of worshipping their deities. 

I will go more into detail about the various ways to venerate deities below. 

What is deity work? 

Working with a deity is a more intensive, interactive relationship. Working with a deity often involves actively communicating with them through things such as divination (tarot, oracle, pendulums, dice, osteomancy, shufflemancy etc) and psychic abilities. It can also involve them being more active in your practice, guiding you in both mundane and magical ways. A very common way deities work with someone is by doing shadow work with them, but there are many other things people do with deities that fall under the category of ‘deity work’.

How do I work with a deity/deities?

There are a lot of ways that you can work with a deity. As mentioned above a very common way of working with them is by doing shadow work with them. They will often guide the practitioner on various prompts to focus on. Another common way that you can work with deities is doing spellwork with them, such as doing protections, cleansing, banishment, and even baneful magic with them. 

Some of the things my deities work with me on is teaching me about energy work and weather magic. 

As with deity worship, there are no right or wrong ways to work with a deity. 

Altars

Many people will set up altars for their deities as a way to either work with or worship them (or both!). Here are some popular things you can put on your altar!

Candles 

Statues

Incense holders/fountains

Altar cloth

Decanter

Spell jars 

Crystals 

Herb pouches

Sigils

Books

Offering dish

Cups

Divination tools 

There are many other items you can put on your altars for your deities. This is just a short list, both of items I myself have put on altars before, and things I see others put on their altars. 

A lot of people also use their altars as a place to connect with their deities (which can get into deity work) as well as a place to do spellwork.

I’m going to answer some common questions about altars I see here. 

Can I put two/multiple deities on the same altar? 

Yes, you can. Some people (like myself) even create altars for entire pantheons, rather than individual deities. In addition, these deities do not all need to be from the same pantheon either. I have had altars where Loki and Leviathan were sharing the same general space (with different items in different sections for just one of them, and some items being placed there for both of them).

Can I add/remove/use things from my altar? 

Yes. You can (and should) clean your altar and you are of course allowed to use the items on your altar. Many people will store their divination tools on their altar, for instance. 

What if I do not have space for an altar/can’t have a physical altar? 

Digital altars are a very valid practice, I currently do not have enough space for all the altars I would want for the deities I worship/work with. I have seen people make altars in Minecraft, on Picrew, and I have altars set up on Pinterest as well. I have also used Pinterest’s collage function to make moodboards for my deities in order to honor them; these can count as digital altars as well. Some people make their own discord servers and use that space as a digital altar for their deities (I also have this set up for my deities too). On these digital altars, you can include pictures of how the deity appears to you, pictures of statues to represent them; themes surrounding what they rule over, colors, animals and plants they may be associated with, and much more. Just like a physical altar, you can get very creative with what you include. 

Will my deities get mad if someone else touches the altar? 

I’ve heard (and also experienced myself) times where family members or roommates will mess with someone’s altar. There seems to be a lot of fear with this; people are afraid it will anger the deity if the altar is accidentally touched. However, deities are very understanding and know that most times the person is unaware that the space is an altar; they won’t get mad if their stuff is accidentally touched, removed, or if someone else disposes of old offerings. 

Now, if someone is messing with it on purpose, with malicious intent, that might be different. However, especially for those in the broom closet, the deity is still not going to be mad at the practitioner or punish you in any way. 

Moving on from altars, I’m going to answer some questions I see when it comes to deity worship/work, before fully getting into the difference. 

Do certain deities not get along? 

Again this is something I see asked a lot online, both for deities of the same pantheon and deities of different pantheons. This comes down to personal experience. Many people think and might assume that deities who did not get along in their myths do not get along in real life either. However, at least for me, this is rarely the case. Remember, these are higher beings and the myths are just that -stories, that have been made up by humans. The myths do not reflect how they may be in real life. 

There are definitely instances where deities genuinely do not get along; I have experienced this in my own practice. However, this is oftentimes not because of myth-related disagreements but rather because the deities disagree on what may be best for the practitioner. This might also occur simply because the deities' energies do not mix well, it’s less that they don’t get along and more so that their energies clash with each other. This does not mean that you should stop working with these deities together if this is the case. Sometimes opposing energies are necessary.It’s also always a good idea to ask the deities themselves how they feel about the situation and what they think you should do. 

Will my deities get mad if I’m not able to give consistent offerings? 

This is another question I see a lot. Deities understand that we are human, we have our mundane lives to live, and we may not always have time or money to be able to buy offerings for them. There are many ways to give offerings to your deities, and some can be free and non-physical offerings too. I’ll go through some offerings I give to my team a lot, and some offerings you can do that are more non-physical or broom closet friendly. 

Doing shadow work in their honor/with them if you have a working relationship with them

Cooking/eating in their honor 

Bathing in their honor 

Putting on makeup in their honor 

Any form of self-care

Doing art/reading in their honor

Going on a walk/drive

Cleaning in their honor

Practicing divination

Journaling

Writing letters to them

There are many other offerings you can give to them, this is just a list of some of the things I do and some common things I see others do as well.

Do I need to pray to my deity/deities? How do I pray? 

Prayer is often a big part of deity worship, however it is definitely not a requirement. Prayer is when you ask your deities for something. You can do this in a very ritualistic way, lighting candles, sitting on the floor, etc, or you can do this in a very casual manner (like sending a quick prayer to them on your way to work). Again, there is no right or wrong way to pray to the deities you worship, there are many different ways you can do this. 

How do I start deity work?

Starting deity work will often involve reaching out to the deity/deities you are wanting to work with. You can do this in many ways, it can be as simple as calling out the deities name and saying ‘I would like to work with you, I’d like you to be more involved in my practice’. Using divination tools such as tarot or oracle cards, pendulums, spirit boards, etc can also help greatly in communicating and developing a relationship with the deity you are wanting to work with. 

Is my deity mad at me because…

The answer to this is most likely ‘no’. It takes a lot to piss a deity off. This question often comes from people who grew up with Abrahamic religions that taught them that making mistakes would anger ‘god’. The pagan gods do not get angry because you make mistakes or are not perfect. It is very hard to actually offend them, unless you do something purposefully to try to piss them off, you will not make them angry. They might get frustrated at us sometimes for falling into the same cycles and bad habits, but this is much different than them actually being angry. 

I also want to address blowing out candles specifically with this question. Some people see it as rude to blow out candles that are devoted to specific deities or used as a form of divination. It is not rude to blow out candles at all, if you have finished communicating with your deity, or are simply moving to a different room/leaving your house, or need to blow it out for whatever reason, you can absolutely do so. The deities do not see it as rude and will not get angry at you for doing this. They might be a bit sad/disappointed, but again this is different than them being genuinely angry. It's like having to tell a friend you have to get off a call with them, even though you still want to talk to them. They might be a bit disappointed but they will understand. 

Is __ a sign from my deities?

The answer to this is complicated; discernment is very important when it comes to answering this question. An easy way to answer this is by asking the deity through divination if whatever you experienced really was a sign. Sometimes deities will send signs in unusual ways (even through social media, yes I know that’s controversial but it does happen sometimes). 

The other question to ask is: did I ask for a sign? There have been times where I will ask for signs and they may show me the sign in a weird way (like asking to see a specific type of bird in my area, and then seeing it on a postcard, for instance). 

Can I reach out to deities? How do I reach out to a deity? 

Yes! As long as the deity is not from a closed/gated practice you are not part of, you can reach out to whoever you want! There are many different ways you can go about reaching out to them; I first recommend doing research on the deity you are wanting to reach out to (this in itself may get their attention and let them know you are interested in them). A very simple way to reach out to them is simply by calling their name, and telling them you wish to work with them or are going to be honoring them. 

What are closed/gated practices? 

Closed and gated practices are usually religions where you need to either be born or initiated into the culture in order to practice it. Many of these practices are closed or gated because of other cultures and religions attempting to appropriate these practices, or erase things within these cultures. 

What do I do if a closed practice deity reaches out to me, but I’m not part of that culture? 

This is going to get controversial, but this is my opinion especially as someone who is part of several closed practices myself. In my opinion, while practices themselves can be closed, deities are not. Deities are independent beings from us, they do what they want outside of human rules and laws. If a deity from a closed practice reaches out to you, my advice is to do tons of research first. There are some closed practices that have officials who can help you with figuring out if a deity from that culture truly is reaching out to you, and can give advice on what to do moving forward. My other piece of advice is to not ignore the deity calling you. There have been some instances where I ignored the call from some of the closed practice deities I now work with, and while it didn’t necessarily anger them that I ignored them, it did annoy them and they were incredibly persistent with their presences until I did acknowledge them. 

What do I do if I need to take a break from practicing? How do I let my deities know? 

Breaks are very healthy and help with preventing burnout when it comes to practicing witchcraft or being pagan in general. If you feel you need to take a break, I recommend just letting the deities you are working with or worshipping know in whatever manner you usually use to communicate with them (a very easy way is just telling them ‘hey, I need to take a break’). They will understand and they will wait for you to be ready to resume practicing with them. Like with previously mentioned situations, they will not get angry at you for simply needing to step away for a bit. A lot of deities may even continue to be around you while you are on break as well, to show that they still care about you and are willing to support you. 

How do I balance working with multiple deities? 

This is, of course, dependent on you as a person. I know some people who make schedules, while others will allow the deities to decide when to show up in their practice. Since I work with quite a few deities and pantheons, generally I dedicate each week to a different pantheon, and dedicate each day to a different deity from that pantheon. I also have picker wheels that I use for this; this is both to make it more ‘fun’ for my ADHD brain (lol) and also to allow the deities to decide who wants to be more present during the week. Sometimes, deities may also decide to be more or less present depending on what you’re going through in life and what type of guidance you are needing. There may be times where a deity will take a step back so that someone else can step forward to take over guiding you a bit more. This is all very normal when it comes to deity work; not every deity needs the same amount of attention and not all of them will always be equally present, and that's ok! 

There are also sometimes where a deity will decide they have taught you all you need to know, and they may discuss ending the working relationship with you entirely. This does not necessarily mean you will never see them again, but it may mean that they show up a lot less, as they have guided you in all the ways they feel you needed them for. Oftentimes, this will happen years and years into you working with them, and you may even realize that this is going to happen before an official discussion about it is mentioned. You can, of course, continue to honor and worship them even after they have officially stopped working with you. 

Another subject I want to address here is that while you can absolutely reach out to and generally work with multiple deities, it's also important to remember to not rush into things. At the beginning of my practice, the only deities I had around me for years were Hades and Loki. After I had been researching and practicing for at least 6-7 years, that's when new deities started approaching me and when I felt comfortable reaching out to some deities as well. I know that working with multiple deities can be overwhelming, which is why I have covered how to manage this so thoroughly. If you are a fairly new practitioner who has multiple deities who are interested in working with you, or if you are interested in working with them, I definitely advise that you take it slow. Research the deities who are reaching out or who you are interested in, learn about them, and slowly start contacting them as you feel comfortable. This is still something I do to this day. 

Everyone’s practice is different; I know people who have been working with the same deity for 10+ years and have hardly interacted with other deities during their practice. On the other hand, I also know people who were approached by several deities at once in the beginning of their practice, and who were consistently approached by various deities over the years as well. It all depends on the deities around you, what they feel you need, and ultimately, what you feel is best for your practice. Whether you wish to work with just a few deities, or many, that is up to you; just make sure that you are also taking your own health into account while doing so! 

How do I know if a deity is reaching out to me? 

I discussed signs a little bit earlier on in this post, however I did want to cover this question specifically. There are many ways deities can send signs to us or let us know they are around. For someone who is more in-tune with their psychic abilities, they may feel different energies when different deities are around. They may even be able to see, hear and possibly even smell the deities around them at times as well and this may be a way to figure out if someone new is around. Another easy method you can use is doing divination to check and see if a new deity is around. As I mentioned above, deities do use social media sometimes to send us signs and sometimes even to show us that they are reaching out. This is another instance where discernment is important; if you interact with a video about a certain deity on Tiktok, for instance, it's a lot more likely the app will start showing you more videos about that deity. So it's important to use other methods (such as divination) to figure out if a deity is truly reaching out, or if it's just social media’s algorithms at play. As I addressed above, sometimes deities will also send signs to you in your mundane life too; while it is important to pay attention to events that may be signs, I would recommend not obsessing over it. If a deity is reaching out, they will make themselves known to you one way or another. 

How do I figure out who is reaching out to me? 

There may be times where you know that someone is reaching out, but you are not sure who it is. Again, divination is a very easy way to figure this one out, there are many deity ID spreads online that you can find (and when I make a post going into more detail about divination, I may include some of those spreads in that post). If you are not able to do divination for yourself on who is reaching out, I recommend trying to ask a friend or finding a professional reader who offers deity IDs. I actually am a professional reader and I do offer deity IDs, you are welcome to inbox me if you are needing one! 

Another way you can attempt to figure out who the deity is on your own is to do research; if you are able to sense energies, or if they are sending you specific signs, you can look into the energies you feel and the signs you are getting to try to figure out who the deity is. 

What is vetting? How do I vet? 

Vetting is the process of ensuring that the deity/entity you are interacting with is who they say they are. The most common way to vet is by asking the deity/entity questions about their mythology. You can also ask questions about personal experiences you’ve had with them in the past. Another easy way to vet is by assigning the deity/entity an ID card using tarot or another form of card divination (you could also do this with shufflemancy with ID songs) and ask them to show you that card/cards or song/songs to verify its them.

What can deities help me with when I’m working with them? 

Deities can help with a ton of things, both in your mundane and magical practices. Deities can (as mentioned before) help with shadow work; they can help you to develop your psychic abilities, and they can share knowledge with you about both the physical and magical realm. They can teach about crystals, herbalism and nature magic for instance. They can help you develop and practice divination skills. They can help you to learn how to save your money, and help you with relationship issues. Just about anything you can think of, deities can help with! 

I would like to give special credit to Prince Stolas for helping me write this and edit it; he very much helped me with a lot of this and ended up channeling to help me with some of this info. This post is written in honor of him as an offering. 

I’d also like to give credit to my friend @astralscraft for helping me so much with this; the questions they came up with and the feedback they gave me for this post was incredible!

[selineram3421]

Shit fuck, fucking shit fuck-FUCK!

Late Valentine's Day gift.

I Desire Your Affection

Oneshot

Alastor X Human Reader

Warning? ⚠

⚠ starring 🔥arson cat🔥, fluff, Italics = thoughts, mention of murder, implied cannibalism, heavy suggestive/implied,😳 its the Gif's fault, friends to lovers ⚠

Your friendship with the Radio Demon was...strange.

Him being the demon you accidently summoned from an entirely different universe, and you being a fan of him and the show Hazbin Hotel.

It would be stupid to try and deny that you had any romantic feelings for the Overlord. As time went on, you realized that your feelings were more complicated than you thought.

Love, affection, and desire swirled within and you didn't know what to do with it. You were sure Alastor wasn't interested in anything sexual and you didn't know if he wanted anything to do with a romantic relationship. Plus, he was real.

He was a person who had flaws, hopes, dreams, ideas, and concerns. He was beautiful.

[He was also a demon but ya know...]

In the end, you felt a little hopeless.

You liked your friendship but it felt bittersweet. After many, many thoughts, you thought that maybe it would just be better if you didn't say anything at all.

You really did value your friendship with him.

The Radio Demon.

Alastor.

.

It's been two years, now going to three since he was summoned to this other version of Earth. The human that brought him to it was kind enough to let him stay, even though they knew he was a demon.

At some point, they became friends and he was quite glad for it. As he spent his time with them, he learned that he quite liked the human, enough to kill a stalker that they didn't know about. He did enjoy the meat and learned something interesting out of it too when he showed his host. But that's a story for another time.

When they told him about the animated show, Hazbin Hotel, he was a bit shocked.

Some strong magic must have been used but they haven't told him what spell they were trying to do. The human was quite secretive about it, looking a bit shy whenever he brought it up.

Though he was curious, he let it be for now. You might have the courage to tell him at some point in time.

Or....he could learn by snooping around.

With a simple plan in motion, bribing the little arsonist of a cat the human had as a companion, Alastor was allowed to look around their bedroom for a short amount of time. At least until the furry creature was done causing chaos wherever they went.

He looked almost everywhere in the bedroom, not finding what he wanted, he turned towards one of the closed doors in the room and opened it.

A bathroom.

He moves on to the next door and opens it, finding a closet with only three empty hangers, the rest filled with clothes, and some boxes.

Is that all? Where is their altar? Room of conjuring? Or "prayer" room?

Then he stopped to think.

It must be hidden away like a prayer room..

Closing the closet door, he looks around with a little more attention. Listing off the places he's already checked around the human's home.

Even listing off his current bedroom and closet.

Somewhat given up, he walks to the door and pulls on the handle to close it. Just as he's about to leave he notices something stupidly obvious, something he's already seen once.

The wardrobe.

Not just any wardrobe but one that the human was able to stuff all of their creative tools in. Paint, colored pencils, fabric, ribbons, and more.

Looking at the clock on the bookshelf, he takes note that he has a few more minutes until the cat must return home.

Going over to the wardrobe, he opens it to find it a familiar mess of colors and doodles on the wooden doors. The drawers are filled with many random things and paint, but he ignores all of that. What he's looking for is hidden in plain sight.

Somewhere.

Curse their love of hidden rooms and puzzles..

He spends a minute or two just staring. Which annoys him more than he cares to admit.

Where? Where is it? They brought out multiple tools from somewhere. So where is it?

He knows he's running out of time, but maybe he could use that to his advantage..

Deciding to enter the hidden room another time, he closes the wardrobe and exits the room. Bringing the cat back with a snap of his fingers.

Little thing was covered in ash and soot, but it seemed to be pleased by what it had done, purring as the creature rubbed itself on the side of his leg.

"I hope you burned down something interesting.", Alastor grinned.

All the cat does in response is meow.

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You got back from work tired.

It was around that time of year when people called out a lot, which left most of the work on other workers, one of them being you.

Something that did cheer you up was the new merch you saw on the Hazbin Hotel website. A cute Valentine's Day Alastor keychain that said "love yourself", the deer demon dressed handsomely in a suit.

You purchased it without a second thought on your phone.

"Welcome home dear!"

Looking up, you find the said Demon that occupied your current thoughts standing in the entryway with you.

"Hi Alastor.", you smiled and put down your book bag on the bench near the door. "I hope you weren't too bored today."

"Nonsense darling.", he says and helps you take off your coat. "I'm enjoying myself in your little abode. Why, I even went out and got groceries for dinner."

"You didn't kill anyone today, right?", you asked.

"No, sadly I did not.", he reassures you, hanging your coat on the hooks mounted on the wall.

"Never hurts to check.", you shrug and follow the deer towards the kitchen.

It's been a little complicated trying to get him back home. The spell you used was a type of calling, and well... It was a little embarrassing to admit, even to yourself.

It was supposed to help your "true love" find you.

But to your surprise, Alastor, The Radio Demon, showed up.

How am I going to get him home? He shouldn't be here. I've messed up everything. Sure, the show is continuing but the Alastor on the screen looks different and everyone just accepted the redesign, the new voice actors, but you're panicking, and you need to think of a way to fix everything-!

You take a breath.

Focusing back on the present, you smell the spices the deer demon is putting in, watching as he stirred the food in the pan.

"It'll be ready in no time, why don't you rest for a moment? I'm sure you'd like to lie down or sit on the couch.", he suggests and glances over at you. "Perhaps some light reading?"

That didn't sound like a bad idea at all. Maybe I could figure out or find a spell to send him back home.

"Sure, thank you Alastor. I'll come to set the table in a bit.", you nod, turning towards your bedroom.

Entering your room, you don't notice the shadow that follows close behind you as you close the door.

You change into something comfortable, a loose t-shirt and shorts before walking over to the wardrobe. You open the painted doors and lift a hand to trace over the phases of the moon painted on top, pressing down on the full moon. A familiar click is heard and you pull out the drawers by a handle, making it go further out, revealing a little passage.

Stepping through, you enter your "office" room that you turned into your personal hide away. Bookshelves stuffed with knick-knacks, old grimoires, and that one random fake skull for fun.

You named it William.

"Ok, lets find something useful today.", you mumble and walk over to the bookshelf near your desk before taking a book out. "When in doubt, try the oldest book in your collection.", you go and set it down on the desk, flipping it open to start reading.

The shadow is looking at everything, finding a board full of papers with a list of herbs, sigils, and other little things. Taking note that it's all for one spell. Alastor quickly takes the shadow's place and reads what you have before letting out a chuckle.

You jump at the sudden noise and turn to find the Radio Demon staring straight at you.

"Is this why you wouldn't share the spell you did that night?", he says walking over to you. "Too shy to reveal it was a spell for true love?"

"I-I don't know why it brought you here though.", you managed to get out. "But I promised to send you home, so as your friend that's what I plan to do."

"Friend?", he tilts his head at that. "Yes, I suppose we have grown our relationship to be as such.", he tutts as he gets closer.

You didn't know if he wanted to kill you or not. You were honestly a little scared but you just decided to trust your friend.

"Why not tell me dear? What made you hesitate?", he asked, now standing in front of you. "Tell me."

"How could I?", you answered, looking up at him with furrowed brows. "I ripped you away from your world for just wanting to meet someone who would love me completely, but I shouldn't have ripped anyone away. I didn't want that. I-", you looked down at your feet in shame. "All I could do in the end was lend a hand as a friend. I didn't want to push anything onto you."

"But you haven't pushed anything~", he lifts up your head with a finger under your chin. "That's the problem."

"What?", you looked up at him confused.

How was that a problem?

"To put it simply darling-", he took a step closer.

Too close.

You bumped into the desk behind you and you placed a hand down onto the wooden surface to keep yourself upright, his chest pressed up against yours. The book you were reading now forgotten, having been knocked off of the desk.

"I desire your affection.", his eyes softened as he lifted his hand to caress your cheek with his knuckles, then his sharp fingers before he held the side of your face with his warm hand. "I desire you."

A shiver ran down your back after he said that.

He suddenly lifted you up and sat you on top of the desk, hands now resting on your thighs.

"Wait-", your breath hitched when he leaned forward and kissed your neck. "D-Dinner is still on the stove-! The cat!", you felt yourself start to get a bit light headed at his actions.

"My shadow will take care of everything.", he murmured against your neck, rubbing has hands up and down your thighs. "What I need to know..", he pulls himself away and gently pushes you until your back meets the desk. "..is if you want this? May I, as your true love, make you mine?"

Your heart was pounding.

The Tumblr post about asking "May I?" in a relationship was right on the fucking nose. It was hot.

With shaky lips, you say what you've wanted to for a while.

"Yes."

Your eyes widened as the deer demon grew larger as he leaned over the desk, leaning over you, his hands on the wooden surface as he caged you in, his smile growing wider as he did so.

"Tell me my dear~", he started, pressing his lips against the shell of your ear. "How often have you imagined us in this position?", he asks and moves his left hand off of the desk, finger slowly gliding up your leg until it reaches the side of your knee.

Then he moves his hand under your knee, lifting your leg so that your calf touches his shoulder as he moved down.

"How many nights have you ached to have me beside you?", he leaned over slightly, his cheek touching the skin of your leg. "To touch you.", he moved closer and kissed your thigh. "To kiss you.", his nose brushed against your inner thigh as he nipped at your skin. "To devour you."

A whine left your throat, which made you blush madly once you realized what noise you made.

"I'm.. I've never done this before.", you look away and bring your hands up to cover your face. "I only read about it. I'm-"

"Come now my dear.", he takes a hand away from your face and kisses the palm of it. "We have time to learn more together. Though this isn't something I'm interested in all that much, I would like to connect with you in this way on special occasions. It's a first for me as well."

"Ok.", you nod, gathering your nerves. "Can we move somewhere more comfortable?"

Something told you that a hard surface wouldn't be so fun after everything was said and done.

"Of course.", he lifts you up and takes you to the bedroom.

As soon as you're on the bed, he's kissing you, touching you, and slowly lifting off your clothes. Being extra careful with his claws on your skin.

"That's it, relax.", he says while undressing, his scars no longer hidden. "Ignore these unsightly things-"

"No.", you quickly say and lift a hand to trace a scar on his chest with your fingers. "They are beautiful."

"Thank you.", he said softly.

You smile when noticing his flushed cheeks.

"May I kiss you?", you ask him.

"Yes, you may. You needn't ask darling."

Placing your hands on his shoulders, you pull him closer and place a soft kiss to test the waters.

His smile widens and he follows your kiss with another.

When you first cast the spell, you didn't expect things to turn out like this. You just thought that you might meet your special someone while grocery shopping or at the park. Instead you summoned them in your living room.

It didn't matter now, as both of you were together.

"Alastor..", you sighed out.

Everything was warm and fuzzy. The oxytocin in your brain was high.

"Let me love you dear."

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Arson cat burned a very important building and it was on the news.

If you know, you know.

~Seline, the person.

✨Art✨

Taglist@

@+ in the comments +

@+?

ML II Alastor🎙 | 🔥Arson Cat List🔥

The keychain that slipped through my fingers 😭

[letsatomicbanana]

Ink!Sans Cultural Inspiration

(revised version)

art by @/sakuramochi64 on twitter

Disclaimer!

This post aims to explore and analyze both the prominent and subtle East Asian cultural influences—primarily Japanese—that have shaped the character of Ink!Sans. If any information in this essay is inaccurate or unintentionally offensive, please don’t hesitate to reach out! This essay serves as a revised and updated version of the analysis conducted last year.

Ink!Sans by @comyet

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''It was a night where it felt like i was a miserable artist and i was very frustrated at my work and it felt like i wasn’t worth alot (we all have these), then I came across a picture of a japanese ink brush, and it was all I needed to start doodling a concept.

That’s how Ink is born.''

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According to Ink’s creator, Comyet, the idea for Ink!Sans was sparked by an image of a brush specifically crafted for sumi and Chinese ink art. In China, the tradition of using specialized ink brushes, known as Chinese writing brushes, has been a foundational element in the art of calligraphy and traditional painting for centuries. These brushes are highly valued for their precision and versatility, allowing artists to produce a range of strokes, from fine lines to bold, expressive swashes. The brush itself is composed of a bamboo handle and a carefully tapered head made from animal hair, designed to hold and release ink in controlled flows.

This tool became central not only in Chinese culture but also influenced Japanese, Korean, and Vietnamese art, where calligraphy holds a similar cultural significance and is closely tied to writing systems derived from Chinese characters. These brushes symbolize the control, fluidity, and intentionality required in both written language and visual art across East Asia. This deep-rooted cultural importance of the ink brush inspired Ink!Sans's character design and powers, allowing him to wield 'ink-based' abilities, symbolizing both creativity and adaptability. His main weapon—a brush—reflects this heritage and further emphasizes the connection between art and battle, as he channels the brush’s traditional associations with fluidity and strength into his fighting style, merging the arts of calligraphy and combat.

(visual example of an ink calligraphy brush)

At glance, the ink material is an enduring medium that still surrounds society till this day and it's used in multiple cultures across the world.

Writing with ink calligraphy brushes is also common in Europe and the Middle East, where artisans developed ink using a unique combination of iron salts and oak galls. This type of ink, known as iron gall ink, initially appeared in rich, dark tones, making it highly desirable for manuscripts and official documents due to its bold, readable quality. However, over time, the iron in the ink oxidized, resulting in a distinct color shift to warm, rust-like brown tones. This characteristic fading can still be observed today in ancient manuscripts, such as early European literary works, where the reddish-brown hues give a sense of history to these documents. The durability and aesthetic appeal of iron gall ink contributed significantly to its prevalence in both regions, influencing the artistry of calligraphy and manuscript illumination for centuries.

Like previously mentioned, Ink!Sans was inspired by traditional ink materials developed in East Asia, where artisans mastered the creation of carbon-based black ink, often using soot or charcoal mixed with binding agents like animal glue. This type of ink, known for its rich, deep color and lasting durability, was a staple in East Asian calligraphy and artwork. Unlike iron gall ink, this carbon-based ink maintained its dark, almost jet-black color for centuries, even in varying environmental conditions. The resilience of this ink allowed ancient texts, paintings, and scrolls to retain their striking contrast and clarity, making it a celebrated medium in East Asian art and culture. Ink!Sans draws inspiration from this enduring quality, symbolizing strength, creativity, and the timelessness of artistic expression

(visual example of an ancient art piece that used carbon-based black ink)

To note, unlike iron gall ink, carbon based inks are still very common to this day.

Although the primary Chinese calligraphic scripts were well established by the fourth century, calligraphy as an art form has continually evolved over the centuries, adapting to new cultural and aesthetic influences. Skilled calligraphers, who spent years mastering brush techniques and perfecting their own unique hand, were celebrated for their distinctive styles, and their works became templates for both art and personal expression. Over time, subsequent generations of artists studied these revered styles, incorporating and reinterpreting them to reflect their individual voices and the changing social landscapes. This ongoing transformation has kept Chinese calligraphy dynamic and relevant, and it remains a respected art form today, blending tradition with contemporary aesthetics.

In Japan, calligraphy also held deep cultural significance, symbolizing both personal refinement and intellectual achievement. Calligraphy was regarded as a mark of scholarly sophistication and artistic taste, with a variety of tools developed to enhance the writing experience. One notable example is the suzuribako ("ink stone box"), a portable lacquered wood box designed to store an inkstone, water dropper, brushes, and solid ink sticks. These boxes were crafted with precision and adorned with intricate lacquer designs, reflecting their owner’s status and appreciation for art. Suzuribako were lightweight and convenient, enabling calligraphers to take their tools outdoors or to scenic locations to write letters, diary entries, or poetry. This practice not only facilitated creativity but also connected the act of writing with nature, creating an immersive experience where one could find inspiration in the surrounding beauty while crafting words in elegant brushstrokes. The combination of these refined tools and settings underscored calligraphy’s role as a deeply personal and aesthetic pursuit in Japanese culture.

From this perspective, it is essential to highlight that Ink's character draws inspiration from traditional ink calligraphy, a detail reflected in his distinctive speech font, 'Note This'.

(Example of Ink's canon speaking font and ancient calligraphy)

Also clarified in an ask on her side blog, Comyet explained that traditional samurai clothing served as a key inspiration for Ink's outfit redesign in 2020. Ink's creator thoughtfully incorporated these characteristics to enhance Ink’s visual appeal and connection to his main source of inspiraton. This influence is particularly noticeable in the first and second analyses of Ink's character, where we see clear visual cues from iconic Japanese garments.

(Ink!sans reference sheet for the 2020 design, credit goes to @/comyet)

Ink's pants were inspired by hakama, a traditional Japanese garment known for its distinctive design as skirt-like trousers, typically worn over a kimono. Hakama are historically associated with a range of activities, from ceremonial occasions to martial arts, and are often considered a symbol of status and refinement. Specifically, Ink's pants appear to be inspired by the umanori style of hakama, which is characterized by a split or division in the middle, allowing for greater freedom of movement. This style was traditionally worn by samurai and other individuals involved in horseback riding, as the design allowed for ease of movement and flexibility when mounting or riding a horse.

The umanori hakama were not only practical for riding but also served as a functional yet elegant garment, embodying the balance of form and function typical in Japanese clothing. By incorporating this style into Ink's character design, Comyet likely intended to evoke themes of mobility, agility, and strength, while subtly referencing Japanese martial traditions and the samurai ethos. This choice enhances Ink's overall aesthetic, highlighting his dynamic, action-oriented nature, suggesting that his character is both rooted in tradition and capable of fluid, graceful movement.

The hakama was not merely a functional garment but also a powerful symbol of social status, loyalty, and the samurai's role in Edo society. While the hakama was predominantly worn by samurai, it also found its place in the wardrobe of scholars, priests, and members of the aristocracy, who wore it as part of their ceremonial dress.

Furthermore, Comyet has explained that Ink's outfit and appearance were partially inspired by the clothing worn by samurai, as depicted in ukiyo-e prints from the Edo Period of Japan. Ukiyo-e, which translates to 'pictures of the floating world,' was a popular genre of woodblock prints and paintings that flourished from the 17th to the 19th centuries, showcasing scenes of everyday life, landscapes, kabuki actors, and beautiful women. However, samurai were also common subjects of these prints, often portrayed in full regalia, highlighting their status and discipline.

(this line of text was found within old versions of Ink's FAQ post, mainly from 2020-2021)

In these ukiyo-e representations, samurai are frequently depicted wearing a distinctive combination of garments, including elaborate kamishimo (formal attire worn by samurai), hakama (wide trousers), and haori (a kimono-style jacket worn over the kimono), along with ornate accessories such as sashes and swords. These samurai were often shown in dynamic poses, suggesting a sense of power, grace, and readiness for battle, which reflected their societal role as both warriors and landowners.

Ukiyo-e representations of samurai often carried deeper meanings beyond their visual impact. Samurai in these prints were more than just warriors; they were cultural icons, symbols of virtue, duty, and sacrifice. Some prints portrayed samurai in the context of popular stories or historical events, such as famous battles or legendary acts of heroism. For example, the prints often depicted samurai as loyal retainers or leaders fighting for justice, reflecting the ideal of bushidō, the samurai code of ethics, which emphasized virtues like loyalty, courage, and respect.

(Ukiyo-e art made by Katsukama Shun'ei, Edo Period)

During the Edo period, the hakama was an important garment worn by the nobility as part of their formal attire, complementing other traditional outfits of the time, such as the noshi and kariginu, a sleeveless jacket with distinctive, sharply defined shoulders. These garments were designed to symbolize the status and refined taste of their wearers. The hakama, with its wide, flowing silhouette, was highly functional and practical, allowing for ease of movement while maintaining an air of elegance.

On another note, Ink's design is not the only aspect inspired by cultural roots, the musical themes associated with him also draw significant inspiration from traditional Japanese music, as described by Comyet. The incorporation of these musical elements into Ink's character enhances the depth and cultural resonance of his persona, creating a multi-layered and thematic representation to a broader cultural context.

A predominant theme associated with Ink is one called 'BrushWork.' This musical theme, featured in the popular series Underverse, shines through particularly with the use of the shamisen, a traditional stringed instrument, and a flute. The choice of the shamisen in this composition is significant, as it evokes the soundscape of Japan, with its distinct, plucked tones often associated with traditional music, storytelling, and performance arts.

The shamisen is a core instrument in genres such as kabuki (a traditional form of Japanese drama) and bunraku (puppet theater), where it is used to underscore the emotional intensity and narrative depth of the performances. In BrushWork, the shamisen helps set the tone for Ink’s character, enhancing the theme of 'brushwork' through its fluid, emotive sound.

Honorable mention: The instrumental video for ''Soulless Heart'', features an artwork that is inspired by traditional sumi-e (ink wash painting), an art form renowned for its elegant brushwork and minimalistic yet profound depictions of nature. This particular artwork, which accompanies the music, was created by the artist @/sakuramochi64.

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Sources

1.National Museum of asian art (materials & techniques. Ink section)

2. Asian Brushpaper (an-overview-of-chinese-ink-history)

3. Wikipedia (wiki Hakama-pants+Shamisen)

4. Aikido Journal (Hakama-101)

[ms-demeanor]

Hey, if you have the time, would you be willing to help me understand whether msg is harmful or not? I'm seeing a lot of conflicting information when I try to look it up, though I understand that a lot of the basis of the (us) hate for it is just racism. In particular this paper worries me and I don't feel that I have the tools to parse it well- https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5938543/&sa=U&ved=2ahUKEwjyoJ_3-bqBAxXRF1kFHeF1DPMQFnoECA0QBg&usg=AOvVaw0i4ZlJU2xakrpbz-DMFx24

Okay, we're going to play chase the reference with a few of the links in this paper.

the [3] link there (which makes the claim that MSG reactions occur 20 minutes after consumption) leads to this paper, which is a case study of a single patient who had swelling in his throat after eating at a Chinese restaurant. That paper has only 7 citations, 4 of which were at least 30 years old (and one was 50 years old) at the time of publication.

Let's dial in to something interesting in that case study:

First of all, the case study that proved symptoms come on in 20 minutes was for a case when symptoms came on after more than eight hours. Secondly let's look at that last sentence - those two papers found that MSG consumption without solids (as in soups) was associated with more reported symptoms, right?

Well. Not completely. Obayashi and Nagamura's review found that the studies in which increased reports of symptoms were present were the ones in which it was possible to taste the difference between MSG and the control, OR in studies where the flavor of even the control was so strong that people might have thought they were being given MSG. The studies in which the MSG was dissolved in chicken stock found no significant difference between groups consuming MSG or a control.

And the other review cited there [7] did note more symptoms reported without solid food, but also noted that those results weren't reproducible.

So the root paper links to a case study that doesn't actually support the sentence it's cited in and that itself cites two papers as evidence that draw different conclusions than the authors of the case study.

That's one source chased. Let's chase another. The misused paper from the case study also shows up in the root paper.

the claim "75 mg/kg MSG significantly elevated systolic blood pressure" is supported by two whole citations. Let's see what they say. Obayashi and Nagamura are pretty clear:

That's the only observation of blood pressure listed in that paper.

What about Shimada et al.?

well, that actually wasn't what they were looking at, there were confounding factors, and the dose that produced the described results is twice what was listed in the root paper.

and actually the 75mg/kg dose in the root paper is mentioned in citation [5] in this paper and whoops, the low (75mg/kg) dose was *not* associated with increases in blood pressure:

Also. I mean. Jeeze. For an adult weighing 200lbs, 75mg/kg is 6 grams.

What did the root paper say they thought the average daily intake was?

so 75mg/kg is six times higher than the high end of an estimated average and is not enough to cause a statistically significant increase in blood pressure. Cool cool cool.

I've looked at this paper long enough now to get really mad at it.

Paragraph by paragraph, here's what this paper says:

MSG: what if it's poison?

According to multiple studies of rodents in which MSG was injected subcutaneously in juvenile animals MSG might cause obesity or neurological symptoms similar to traumatic brain injury. If humans were to get doses similar to infant mice being subcutaneously injected with MSG as toddlers it could be catastrophic.

This one guy even got a swollen throat from MSG eight hours after eating some soup once and some people who study headaches says it's more common to have bad reactions to msg in soup and he ate soup please ignore that actually the headache people weren't saying reports were more common from people eating soup.

Both animal studies with extremely high doses of MSG and a human study with broken links that doesn't appear on the publisher's website anymore suggest that MSG could do reproductive harm or at least make cramps worse possibly.

The way that people have discussed asthma and MSG in the past is really extreme and super negative but actually there's never been a connection proven there.

And actually it seems like maybe MSG prevents anemia? Neat? Possibly. ANYWAY:

what harmful effects??? You have not successfully described any harmful effects!!!!

this kind of thing shows up all the fuck over the place, look at this bit from a totally different paper:

that cites one nearly 40 year old study, two studies that are nearly 30 years old, two rodent studies, and:

and a literature review that does not reflect those findings and calls for further research because there is poor evidence for those claims.

I'm so mad.

I'm not mad at you, I'm mad that the root article frontloaded with a bunch of complicated neurological stuff that is difficult for anyone without a neuroscience background to parse (i sure can't) and then left the bullshit and misused citations for later in the paper. I'm mad that half of the articles cited in every one of these papers is skeptical of MSG as a risk or a threat and those skeptical papers are being linked to as evidence of MSG as a threat. I'm mad that this stuff is inaccessible and confusing because it doesn't need to be confusing i don't know why these people who work at universities and hospitals are writing these kinds of bullshit papers, I don't know why if you look for information about the safety of msg you get webMD "medically verified" articles that tell you to avoid tomato sauce. I hate all of this and I'm so mad and it's bullshit but here is a very long writeup on why the methodology of a lot of the studies cited in the article you linked are not ideal; this piece goes over a lot of the supposed harms of MSG with a fine toothed comb and generally finds that food amounts of MSG are likely fine and that it's probably worthwhile to do some research on MSG as it relates to fetal development but that it should pretty much be considered safe.

[optimisticgardenhologram]

Something I noticed in my re-reads of the manga is that Light and Near’s inner monologues tend to pretty directly state what exactly they mean with minimal ambiguity. However with L and Mello their internal thoughts often taper off before reaching their conclusions, or are otherwise just positioned more mysteriously leaving their true feelings and intentions to the imagination of the reader.

For one example, something I always find interesting are Mello’s comments around Misa. 

Let me explain. It's this panel I mean:

What I'm curious about is when he says: "if she had the eyes that in itself could be enough to make her worth something to Kira...still for Kira to be using a girl like this..."

While his statements read plainly enough the interpretation can go in a couple very different ways. And of course this being manga (oh and being CUT from the anime doesn't help) the absence of tone makes his intention all the more ambiguous. 

I'm curious where is the emphasis on that statement? Is it:

"...still for Kira to be using A GIRL like this..."  (implying some general objection to using a girl in the role of the second Kira)

OR

"...still for Kira to be using a girl LIKE THIS..." (implying a specific distaste for exploiting this woman's stupidity, the loss of her parents, and subsequent devotion to Kira and possible willingness to sacrifice half her remaining life for the eyes to help her heroic savior).

My own position is I tend to lean to the latter interpretation. I think he's bothered by the way Kira is weaponizing Misa's trauma and idolization of him. Yes I am biased, yet still believe there's more than enough textual basis to back up that reading. 

Remember at this point Mello's been listening in on her and Mogi's conversations for almost a week (side note note that this shows Mello is fluent in Japanese since there's no reason Mogi and Misa would be speaking English when they're alone together). But it appears that nothing overtly suspicious is going on with them, and more than that their apparently inane and tedious conversations by this point are (understandably) grating on Mello's last nerve. He wonders how "This stupid girl is the second Kira? But I think of any other reason Mogi would be with her...her...". Yeah it's kinda mean to call her stupid, but the point is IF Kira was using her, it certainly wasn't for her brilliance. Also notice he repeats the word "her" twice, showing that he's thinking of her as in the individual sense not as a generic member of the female gender.

Also if his statement was just as a general sexist comment meant to say there's something fundamentally undesirable in entrusting a woman with that sort of power, there would have been no need for the panels showing him mulling over her personal history and possible motivations, making those connections in such detail.  Plus unlike some other characters in the series, Mello isn't known make prejudicial comments about women.

Being a fellow orphan himself, and one whose trauma and devotion was ALSO exploited similarly --  raised to be a tool serving someone else's vision, and not only that but similarly having bought fully into it and making it his own life goal -- he might be able to relate to Misa's situation more than most.

It's also worth mentioning that I wouldn't necessarily consider it out of character for Mello to be rubbed the wrong way by how Kira is using Misa. Mello is shown multiple times throughout the manga to be openly empathetic (which goes hand in hand with his infamous trait of unapologetically having emotions), including to his enemies. See Soichiro Yagami, Kiyomi Takada. 

Anyway, it's a small detail to devote this much thought and rambling text to, but I think it's interesting so...

/shrug/

[izumiphoenix]

Do Vampires Sleep?

This question has been bothering me for a while – both for the sake of my headcanons and the stories I imagine for my OC Roanael and Astarion.

On Tumblr, I’ve seen people mention both reverie and sleep when talking about Astarion. And honestly, I think both are fair since we can see in the game that Astarion’s long rest animation shows reverie. At the same time, we know he has dreams – a least one dream in his Origin story, about Cazador, and the ones with the Dream Visitor. But of course, it could be a temporary exception due to the tadpole influence.

What do we know about reverie?

Definition: Reverie, or trance, is the elven state of meditation, which had certain sleep-like effects.

Realm of Adventure Wiki states that:

When elves enter this state, they vividly relive past memories, those both pleasant and painful.

According to Forgotten Realms Wiki, most elves prefer reverie, but they can also choose to sleep.

I’ve also seen a theory that Astarion could prefer sleep to reverie, since it would provide him an escape while the state of trance would only make him relive all the painful and terrifying memories once again. That makes so much sense to me.

But let’s not forget: Astarion is not quite an elf anymore – he’s a vampire spawn.

So what does that mean, in terms of rest?

The first thought that comes to mind is that he is undead, so logically, he shouldn’t need any sleep.

Indeed, vampires and vampire spawns do have a trait called Undead Nature. However, while for most other undead creatures it states they “do not need to eat, drink, or breathe,” for vampires and their spawns it is only “do not need air.”

Undead Nature. Neither a vampire nor a vampire spawn requires air.

(according to the information I found on 5e tools bestiary)

So I think it’s safe to say that the answer is – yes, vampires (and vampire spawns) do sleep.

Then why is Astarion shown trancing in the game?

Well, if you look at his character sheet, it still lists his race as High Elf, even after his true nature is revealed.

I believe from a development standpoint, it was probably easier to keep him categorized that way – otherwise, they'd have to build a whole custom Vampire Spawn race with new animations, just for Astarion. So it could just be a race-based animation quirk.

From the story perspective, it also would make sense for him at least to pretend he enters reverie at night in the beginning of their journey, when Tav/Durge and other companions still don’t know about his vampirism.

Another possibility is that, due to his unusual condition, being protected from some of the vampiric traits, it became possible for him to experience reverie again.

It also aligns with another aspect of vampiric sleep lore that I want to mention:

Chained to the Grave. Every vampire remains bound to its coffin, crypt, or grave site, where it must rest by day. If a vampire didn't receive a formal burial, it must lie beneath a foot of earth at the place of its transition to undeath. A vampire can move its place of burial by transporting its coffin or a significant amount of grave dirt to another location. Some vampires set up multiple resting places this way.

(5e tools bestiary again)

Yes, it mentions “vampires,” but it is written on the page dedicated to vampire spawns. Besides, it wouldn’t make sense that true vampires would be confined like that while their spawns would be able to sleep wherever they wanted.

It means that normally, Astarion would need to sleep in a special resting place. Thanks to the illithid protection, he doesn’t have to do that during their journey.

But if he chooses to reject the ascension ritual, after defeating Netherbrain, he is back to all the vampiric limitations. Not only is he unable to walk under the sun again, cross a river or come into a house uninvited, but he also needs to come up with a way to sleep during his travels as an adventurer (assuming he doesn't stay in Baldur's Gate).

It also makes me wonder about those 7006 vampire spawns that were freed and moved to the Underdark. If my memory doesn't fail me, I think we could see some of Astarion's siblings' coffins when exploring the castle. I don't remember seeing any in the dungeons, but I don't think Cazador would be bothered by this fact – they were already greatly mistreated by him. As I understand the lore, a vampire doesn't die if they don't rest, but it places certain penalties on them.

Did they also have to take care of this when escaping to the Underdark? We can only wonder.

But while it all doesn't make Astarion's undead life easy, that doesn’t mean he’s doomed or miserable. Let us not be too sad about his restrictions, or use this as an argument that his rejecting the ascension ritual was a wrong choice.

I believe that our beloved vampire spawn, radiant with newfound hope, can handle it all just fine. Especially in a magical and chaotic world like Forgotten Realms, where surely there are many creative tricks and curious artifacts that can make a difference.

[pavlov-sdog]

The teams slight fondness to Bell honestly drives me crazy sometimes. Its just enough to be noticeable but not enough to do anything. Theres multiple instances you can really point to all of them having some form of care/fondness towards Bell, even Adler has his (extremely minimal) moments. Park especially seems to get quite fond of Bell, and yet, even she just stands by while Bell is being tortured. 

Sure she mentions to Adler maybe he should tone in down a bit during break on through and disagrees a few times, but ultimately does absolutely nothing while Bell seizes, hallucinates they’re being ripped apart by zombies, and is pumped full of who knows what for who knows how long, ect. 

While i do love the characters and how flawed they are, it’s infuriating how they act like they care yet do absolutely nothing. It really just cements how lowly they think of Bell, they really are seen more akin to a tool or animal than an actual human. It’s just unfortunate to the team how they ‘have’ to treat Bell. its hard to watch not because Bell is a person being tortured, not because they themselves are torturing a person, but because they grew a little too attached to their poor experiment. 

[elkian]

It's interesting watching the Dungeon Meshi anime after reading the manga pretty recently. There's lots of fun 'that's a surprise tool that will help us later moments' (not to mention spotted all the WL motifs!), but there's more.

Some stuff I blipped over on the initial read - partly due to the story starting out as a light-hearted Monster of the Week comedy and partly likely due to my own general obliviousness - has caught my attention.

One is how Laios engages with the other party members: when Marcille is down about not being immediately useful, he's the one who jumps in to support her, citing his knowledge of her unique skillset and the strategic value in her holding back for the moment. He has a high level of respect for his party's skills in general (I wonder if part of the monster mania is a bit of compensating for not getting to show his stuff sooner?), and a strong understanding of their synergy.

Further, as I'm watching the Living Armor episode, something has finally pinged in my conscious mind: Laios is smart. It's overshadowed a bit, I think, by his Monster Special Interest (a thing he is expected to be knowledgeable in, which also leads to the dragon expert bemoaning lmao), and his general role of being either The Weird One or experiencing Consequences of eating things recklessly. Which ig is all Monster Special Interest-related at minimum.

Anyways, combining my observation of Laios' understanding of Marcille and Chilchuck's skillsets, and how to best implement him, I realize in this episode that Laios is a very skilled tactician, and strategist. We've also seen him make detailed analyses and decent plans in the manga. I think this all ties into him being the sort of de facto party leader - not only is he strongly motivated on multiple levels, but the others trust him to analyze situations and formulate viable plans accordingly, taking their strengths and weaknesses into account. Heck, when the party gets species-swapped, he makes almost immediate note in their first battle of how quickly he loses stamina, and connects that to Senshi's behavior that he's observed in the past.

Sorry for not noticing sooner, Laios.

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

Just wanted to tell you that pitch fefnep is real as fuck and I appreciate you bringing it to my attention.

Are there any other pitch ships you seriously live for?

My big one is Eridan <3< Calliope (#callidan let's make it happen)! There's a lot of karmic stuff linking them together - I'm not going to say it ALL here, but suffice to mention that cherubs are naturally attracted pitch-wise to people who resemble the half they lost in predomination, and Eridan literally made his username "cal" (caligula, so it's even 8 letters, lmao).

Personality-wise, though, fully-character-developed Eridan and Calliope are like a match made in hell. Eridan is violent, obsessed with murder, deliberately likes to style himself as an arrogant, evil despot, says a lot of slurs, is a complete moron who doesn't listen to people but believes in stuff very very strongly anyways, and, assuming he's finished his character arc, somehow still manages to be a force for good. This makes him similar to Caliborn in a lot of ways (Hussie even calls Eridan a sort of proto-Caliborn MULTIPLE times in the book commentary), and Calliope would have a lot to get infuriated by, especially since that last point would give Eridan that "i hate everything about you, BUT..." factor that makes a pitch relationship work.

OTOH, Calliope gets super fucking smug when she starts winning, Eridan would 100% see her as a poser wizard (who needs to load their MAGIC WAND with BULLETS????) as well as a poser troll. She would also definitely adopt a stance of "every life is precious," and already displayed compassion and forgiveness to a dangerous degree wrt Caliborn, and all of this would probably piss Eridan off. Also, Eridan is easy, and the fact that Calliope is actually willing to entertain him in pitch at all is probably enough to get him to date her in blackrom all by itself. LBR, all it really takes to date Eridan is just being willing to date Eridan. This is both a low and high bar to clear.

Given that murdering and genocide-obsessing literally kept his friends alive long enough to play the game, I just can't see Eridan ever becoming a pacifist, or even coming to see murder as a bad thing (even if he'd feel bad about and apologize for murdering his friends specifically).

It'd also be pretty bad if the Hope player (ideals, convictions, faith, and also turning fake stuff real) had wrong beliefs, so Eridan's character arc wouldn't so much see his obsession with murder dropped so much as having it reoriented, his focus becoming "I care about my friends and will do anything to make sure they succeed in creating a better world. I'd kill for them. I will kill for them. I am going to kill for them."

He's still kind of a token evil teammate as a result - the guy who pipes up at every town hall to go, "y'know, murder is on the table. I'm not saying that I want to do it or even that we should, but I'm just reminding you that it's a tool in our arsenal, and something our enemies might resort to" as well as the debbie downer who reminds people that meat comes from animals that used to have families.

Plus, given that his hipster stuff ties in with being a Hope player - the staunch and firm beliefs in there being "better" stuff, the unshakeable conviction and dedication toward being anti-mainstream, and the fact that it's one of his few genuine interests besides magic - that trait actually gets exacerbated in lieu of the fake pro-empire, dualscar-emulating stuff he was doing before.

So, basically, Eridan given the full redemption arc + character development combo would spit out an Eridan that's MORE annoying than he was before? Because, like, not only is he a turbo pretentious hipster now, but he's also the "heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made an excellent point" guy. He's comfortable in his own skin, no longer trying to be something he isn't. Instead, with absolute, non-negotiable, unshakeable faith in himself, he is 100% of what he is.

"What he is," of course, being a neurotic, murder-obsessed, low-empathy lunatic with zero social skills, a pretentious hipster, a cringe-ass wizard who won't shut up about it and has no self-awareness of how cringe he's being, still 100% aggro 100% of the time, and an obsessive simp. In a very leftist/existentialist way, he would fully own up to having done horrible things, and being willing to do them again, should the circumstances call for them. "Shameless" is probably a good word to use, here.

Meanwhile, Calliope is genuinely well-meaning as fuck, even if she doesn't fully grasp things like "humans going trickster mode is bad actually" and that her fascination/obsession with the trolls and kids as "characters" still borders on dehumanizing.

Still, it's clear that she operates from a place of love and admiration, and given a lease on life free from her brother and surrounded by friends, I do genuinely believe Calliope's arc culminates in her being the embodiement of the ideas that we must be good to each other, kind to each other, loving to each other, and trust and care for each other. After all, she has it within her; her alternate self was willing to make the ultimate sacrifice for the good of several universes.

Still, Calliope as this cosmic, karmic force of good - what the comic ultimately exonorates and treats as something worthy of protection and rescue - sets her up against Eridan ideologically really well. Calliope represents "we must do good" in the most optimistic sense - people will be kind back if you are kind to them, and to create a loving society, a caring society, we must care about others, we must believe in others.

Meanwhile, Eridan would represent "we must do good" in the most dark and pessimistic sense - we must be prepared to sacrifice for each other, we hold duties to one another, we must be our best selves because we owe it to each other, we must not accept complacency, we must be ever-vigilant of our worst tendencies, we must take responsibility. No society exists without sacrifice, no revolution is without bloodshed, and nothing is ever worth fighting for that won't eventually need to be fought for - and who will do the fighting? The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools, etc.

Like how pitch FefNep works for me on this axis of pragmatism vs. idealism - Feferi and Nepeta are both fundamentally duking it out over what it means to create and administer a society, with Nepeta representing unbridled freedom, while Feferi brings to the table controlling restraint. Neither is fully correct on their own - Nepeta is anarchic, and so her ideals are inherently unstable, while Feferi is fascistic, which can cause great harm. It's Hegalian dialectics. Thesis, antithesis, and their union/rivalry is the synthesis into a greater nuanced balance between the two.

Callidan works for me in the same way: Calliope and Eridan are both fundamentally aiming to create a world that's good, and Calliope says, we must be kind, while Eridan says, we must be cruel. They're both correct, and both have an ideal that can't stand on its own. Calliope's hardline stance of pure compassion lets bad apples take advantage, while Eridan's hardline stance of sacrifice and personal responsibility leads to misery and unfulfillment. Together, they strike a harmony.

And also they'd be so funny together. Like

UU: i believe that in order to create a kind and beaUtifUl world, we mUst be kind to each other. we mUst believe in each other no matter what. there is no fUtUre if it is not boUnd in love, trUst, and empathy.

CA: yeah fuckin right dont tell me you actually BELIEVVE that codswwallop those ideals sure held up wwhen wwe MURDERED THE EVVER LOVVIN SHIT OUTTA YOUR BROTHER

CA: reality aint so fuckin simple evvery societys got sacrifices need doin evvil bastards need killin and somebodys got to pull the trigger

UU: i swear, speaking with yoU is aboUt as pleasant as a sandpaper facial.

UU: and yet i continUe to do so, and do yoU know why? it's becaUse i do, in fact, believe in what i said, and i will, in fact, continUe to treat yoU with *love and compassion* despite yoUr repeated efforts to throw mine into the bin!!!!!!!!!!!

CA: i nevver asked for your so called lovve and compassion skullhag and i dont bloody need it either

UU: well, that's jUst too bad, isn't it? poor eridan, yoU were treated so poorly on alternia, and now yoU're angry and Upset all the time. my heart aches for yoUr plight!

CA: ill showw you a flippin PLIGHT scumskull meet me at the usual place

UU: <kisses> ~3U

UU's computer exploded!

uranianUmbra [UU] began cheering caligulasAquarium [CA]

UU: STOP DOING THAT.

Also... they're both British... so it's British on British violence... IDK that personally really elevates it for me