#not to mention just a shitty way to look at other trans women

[laureldogbreath]

:///

Girls are soooooo pretty I should **** ******

[gibbearish]

so this post has been made unrebloggable now (shocker) but ive been feeling the need to address it since i saw it on my dash multiple times, so let's explore how lying on the internet works. more specifically, how blending truth, lies, and omissions to whip uninvolved people into anger works, because i think this is an excellent example and that pointing out the misinformation and the tactics used to spread it here is important, both in correcting the specific falsities but also in helping recognize similar tactics in the future.

so here we have several things that are technically true: staff has been very openly shitty to trans women for a long time and them banning predstrogen is clearly part of that, there is currently a movement regarding discussing transmisandry/transandrophobia, transmisogyny and transphobes sending transphobic asks is by far nothing new, and baeddel is/was a slur. however, among all of this are half-truths, unprovable speculation, or outright lies made to make you believe these events are originating specifically from transmascs.

firstly, the transandrophobia movement has been drastically misrepresented here in the same way it has been for the whole argument, "they're just trans MRAs" has been repeated so many times now that i'm gonna be hearing it in my dreams when i'm 80. i can understand not being willing to address the nuance of that whole discourse in one post that isn't directly focused on that, i'm certainly not, but in this example it's not unwillingness to address a complicated topic, it's a deliberate misrepresentation to frame one side of the discussion as The Evil Bad Ones That Can't Be Trusted. additionally, this post IS about that discourse and is just pretending it isn't to mislead a wider audience, so refusing to address it at all beyond this brief mention is deliberately misleading people about the goals of the group because They're The Other Side Of The Discourse. "transmisogynists" is used as a buzzword here, it doesn't actually refer to Anyone Who Hates Transfemmes, it refers to Transmascs Who Discuss Transmasc-Specific Oppression Using A Word They Coined To Point Out That Queer Spaces Have A Big Problem With Masculinity and just. doesn't tell you that's what it means, relying on the structure and framing of the post to create the Transmisogynist = Transmasc association in the audience's head so op doesn't have to say it outright (and of course the implied Transmasc = Transmisogynist association that follows because creating THAT association is the Actual Point of this post). the mentions of transmascs in this post are designed to look like afterthoughts, op says "typically those who espouse transandrophobia" to make it look like they're saying there's other people they're referring to here too, but almost everything in this post draws from the transandrophobia discourse. some random cis transphobe in texas has never heard the term baeddel in their entire life much less used it in a debate about transphobia, this is an intercommunity argument through and through, but op is trying to mask the fact that they're just referring to "transmascs who disagree with me specifically" and make it look like it's part of a wider trend. and again, i'm not going to go into the nuances of transandrophobia here, but i highly recommend reading some of the theory on it by @nothorses (x) and @genderkoolaid (x) because the "theyre just trans MRAs" argument kinda just collapses under its own weight as soon as you look into it even a smidgen. i've linked a couple broad overviews there but they both discuss it frequently and in-depth, specifically nothorses has a pinned post linking to many different discussion threads that i would recommend checking out if you do want to learn more about what the actual conversation surrounding these words is.

so, after framing the movement this way, they go on to say that the reason predstrogen was banned wasn't /just/ because staff has a long and established hate boner for trans women, but because the transandrophobia movement was teaming up with TERFs to mass-report her and other transfemmes, and implies that this is part of a deliberate conspiracy between Transandrophobia Truthers™, TERFs, and staff. you'll notice that there are no, say, screenshots of transmascs saying theyre deliberately reporting her or of that they're working with TERFs, behind-the-scenes lists of people who reported a certain account, or any evidence for this beyond "she was a trans woman, they're trans men who hate trans women, she got banned, so these must be related". which i find especially funny now given that photomatt has continued melting down about this since it happened and made it pretty clear it yknow. was just part of staffs ongoing hate campaign against trans women that has been going on much longer than the transandrophobia debate? and that maybe the fact that The Literal CEO is having a personal meltdown about this might explain where that could be coming from or at least why it's been allowed to continue for so long, moreso than any individual users reporting someone could? but i digress.

who reported what account is completely unprovable as a casual user unless people directly admit they did it, so to bring it up like this begs the question of what actual reasoning they have for saying it beyond trying to tie a current display of bigotry into an unrelated discourse. that's not to say it's impossible people who discuss transandrophobia were wrongfully reporting her, because again, thats something we have no way of knowing, and the internet is a shit place so i wouldn't be surprised. but given the circumstances and the rest of the lies here, i have my doubts about this being an actual yknow. Thing That Happened rather than just another lie to make people mad at transmascs. now one could make the argument that op wasn't saying transmascs are /deliberately/ teaming up with TERFs/staff, that "teaming up" was just a poor choice of words to refer to multiple groups who happen to have the same goals in mind at the same time but aren't actually coordinating with one another, but given the deliberate misinformative slant of the rest of the post and the overall phrasing in this section, i have trouble extending that grace. regardless, however, that doesn't change that who is reporting who isn't something verifiable, so stating it here as a confirmed fact is disingenuous at the absolute best, and a lie chosen specifically because it's unprovable at worst. if op /does/ have proof that transmascs have been teaming up with TERFs to get trans women banned, not including that with this post is just uhhhhh dumb, and if op /doesn't/ have proof then Why Would You Go Around Telling People That's What Happened Unless You Were Lying To Them On Purpose With Ulterior Motives.

next, op goes on to discuss the rise of the term baeddel. now as i said before, the truth here is that it certainly was a slur and certainly can still be used as one, again the internet is a shit place so i would be a fool if i tried to say "no one is using this as a slur". however, this is once again a drastic misrepresentation of the situation. baeddel's rising use is due to certain trans women reclaiming it and aligning themselves with the original group's politics, namely that femininity is good and masculinity is bad (aka terfism 101), with the added caveat that by abandoning femininity for masculinity, transmascs are evil and betraying devine womanhood and their community by putting more Evil Manhood into the world. of course that in turn is a drastic oversimplification of their politics and i highly recommend checking out this post with an actual in-depth exploration of the history (and without my added flavor), but the important part to note here is that this is not a term transmascs just Started Using one day because they hate transfems so very much as is implied here, its use is directly tied to a group of people saying "hello, here is what i am, and here is what this word means about what i believe," so others went "ok, these specific beliefs are called this." bringing up the fact that it historically was a slur is misdirection here, when you look closer this is almost a 1 to 1 translation of TERFs crying that TERF and radfem are slurs because People Don't Like Their Politics And Therefore Them, so the name for their politics is used negatively, so therefore it's a slur. that argument just has a little more oomph behind it this time because It Was A Slur Originally. and again, that isnt to say no one is now using it as a slur, the rate of decay for online discourse is ridiculous so it being boiled down to and used as "evil transfemme" has certainly already happened, but to act like /every/ use of it is a slur is literally just a lie, when you self-identify with a term based on your shared politics with the original group then you do not get to claim everyone using that term to describe those politics is doing so exclusively to attack you. also this part is entirely speculation but given that op's url is basically just. baeddel switched around to dae bel, i would hazard a guess that they perhaps are indeed aware of the origins of its re-use? but again, that's entirely unprovable and based just on wordplay, but like. given the Everything here i wouldn't be surprised. now, there's definitely an argument to be made about calling users baeddels based just off of their politics when they don't personally self-identify with it, if that constitutes calling someone a slur and if TIRF should be used instead, but crucially, that is not the argument being made here. the argument being made is "ANY AND ALL use of this term is calling someone a slur," and that literally just Isn't The Case.

finally, to tie the whole post off, op reminds us 1) if you hear anything bad about any trans woman ever, it's probably a lie to make her look bad, and 2) if you hear anyone say anything about transandrophobia, disregard everything else they have to say because they hate trans women. not "be critical of the things you see or get sent" or "be on the lookout for things following a certain pattern," a unilateral "anything bad is probably fake and anyone who uses the bad words is probably evil." that is not something someone does if they are genuinely trying to raise awareness of an ongoing trend, that is what someone does when they want you to turn your brain off and be mad at a group no matter what they say.

so yeah, in summary, do be critical of the things you see and be on the lookout for certain patterns, because sometimes people will just Lie to you. or, sometimes people will tell you portions of the truth while leaving out crucial bits so that you'll come to the conclusion they want without anyone being able to say they lied to you without typing up a thirty paragraph long hell post. transmisogyny is absolutely a problem on this site and there are 100% valuable conversations to be had about it and its presence within the trans community, but this post is not that. this post uses real transmisogyny and the wrongful termination of a trans woman's account as set dressing to say that it was all because of evil transmascs who run the trans community behind the scenes conspiring to take out transfemmes, so you should ignore anything they have to say because All of it is secretly motivated by transmisogyny. they're never discussing transandrophobia because it's something that actually effects them, they're doing it to hurt trans women by saying they have it worse. they're never telling you about shitty things a trans woman did to spread awareness, they're lying to make her look bad, or even if it's true they're only talking about it as part of a hate campaign because she's trans, they wouldn't care otherwise. they're never using a specific term because People Use That Term For Themselves, they're calling someone a slur because they hate trans women. there's always an explanation you can think up that ties it back to transmisogyny, and op says that instead of assessing all of what someone says and the context behind it to determine if that's what's happening, you should assume transmisogyny is the answer and refuse to engage any further as soon as you see a word you've been told is bad.

this post is discourse recruitment masquerading as a public service announcement that doesn't offer you any routes to actually learn more about what's going on, it just tells you Here's What's Happening, Here's Who's Evil And Should Be Ignored, And If You Disagree You're Also Evil And Should Be Ignored. content of the actual post aside, i think anything framed that way should be taken with a MASSIVE grain of salt and this would have raised my alarm bells even if i wasn't already pretty familiar with the arguments, people who genuinely want you to know something just because it's good to know will give you options to learn more or encourage you to actually use your critical thinking to assess things, not tell you to sit down and shut up and ignore anyone who disagrees with them.

anyways i guess tldr

[up-in-flames-writing]

Hey, I saw your post on how m/m relationships are predominantly written by women! I'm sorry people always default to defending themselves for shitty behavior by claiming misogyny. I think that a fair few of the fem side of the queer community haven't really contemplated their biases or how we are also facing unique forms of oppression.

I would like to say that as someone who collects books about mlm romance, I'd love to see your recommendation list regardless of the note count on that post! Also! I'd love to give you a recommendation myself if you haven't read it already! I absolutely recommend Self Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore! McLemore is a Latine Nonbinary writer who, as part of a remixed classics series, wrote a queer take on The Great Gatsby. Both Nick and Gatsby are trans, and their identity is explored and handled beautifully. I haven't read any others of the Remixed Classics series but the whole point is to diversify and transform the original premise. There's a handful of Mlm romance books in the series but I can only vouch for Self Made Boys. I hope if you decide to read it that you enjoy it just as much as I did!

Oh! I have Most Ardently pre ordered! It's a trans Pride & Prejudice retelling, & I'm so damn excited for it! I have the whole series on my wishlist too.

My personal goal is to also have a Remixed Classics book published, although I'm not gonna say what it's gonna be on just in case. A boy can dream, tho.

If I were to publish a post curating a list of queer masc fiction (& also non-fiction) I highly recommend you & everyone else to add onto the post yourselves! I'm afraid my journey into the queer side of lit has only started 2 years ago, with my reintroduction to literature itself, so I don't have as many books as I would like to have. I do have a few rare gems on my shelf, tho, like my copy of Hung Jury by Trystan T. Cotten, or the Dairy of a Drag Queen by Crystal Rasmussen. I do have a few more popular books tho, like T.J Klune's work or the comic Bloom written by Kevin Panetta & drawn by Savanna Ganucheau (I hope I wrote those down right.)

Either way, I'm always looking for new queer masc works written by queer mascs, & would love to undertake a project like the post I mentioned!

[caffeineandsociety]

Though tbh I don't even FULLY blame the terminally online subset of trans women who go to the full radfem extreme of "we are the ONLY people we can trust, everyone else is just ontologically incapable of being decent to us" considering how badly trans women are tokenized in leftist circles lately

Like it's all about "terfs fuck off (but also ew men lol and I'm DEFINITELY not capable of taking this out on trans people of any gender)" and "trans women are women (until someone I know hears a rumor one of them is a Bad Person)" and "trans women are gorgeous goddesses (except this one who likes a Bad Anime, lol, why should we be surprised she looks like THAT?)" and "it's trans women loving hours 24/7 here (by which I mean I have a femdom fetish lol)" and so much more, and honestly, if that was the way I was being talked about, I'd have a fucking hard time trusting anyone else too.

And tbh I'm sick of the subset of non-transfems who recognize the dangers of separatist movements openly pining for that "support" as if it actually IS support and totally unrelated to the rise of separatist ideology. It's not support, it's just tokenism born of hypervisibility.

The hypervisibility/invisibility dynamic between trans women/trans men respectively, btw, is born of right-wingers misgendering ALL of us. Trans women are made hypervisible because right-wingers see SCAAAAARY perverted MEN in DRESSES which is OBVIOUSLY SICK and BAD and did we mention SCARY be SCARED now because they're SCARY; trans men are made invisible because right-wingers see us as either tragic confused babies like all ~mentally ill women~, or vicious double-agents trying to STEAL the power and prestige of (white) manhood and DESTROY the precious femininity we OWE to someone - even when we are being centered as a boogeyman it's in a way that strips us of agency and hides US behind the people screaming about us and trying to hold onto us as property.

The fact that people struggle to see that neither is A Privilege is a shitty, shitty thing, and a major problem - and I just really wish people would stop acting like it's a Specific Identity Problem and realize that it's a cultural hegemony problem. We're ALL simmering in the same toxic brew of hate and stereotypes; you have to put in work to stop weaponizing it against other people - yes, EVEN YOU.

[enby-ralsei]

Hey, I just wanted to mention your phrasing of the transfem rand post was super fucking weird. Saying that rand's trans identity is entirely based off of being fucking miserable and contributing to shitty stereotypes by listing rand's addiction as a quality that makes them trans is insane. Please for the love of god rethink your perspective of trans women

ok I realize that my phrasing in that post is not great. I'll try and rephrase and give other thoughts to give it a larger context of what I meant.

- that post was made in a spur of the moment and I wasn't fully thinking about how trans women were specifically being represented, and I fully apologize for that. I got too excited and threw words onto the page quickly and without thought. I shouldn't have done this, especially for a group I am not a part of and faces discrimination from everyone. I should have given it more thought.

- There is much more to being trans than being miserable. my full thought process was that her realizing she is trans would not make all of her problems go away. Some of them would go away or become less intense, but it's not a cure for depression and grief. This is more of what I was saying in the last part. her issues would not be cured but she would be happier in general.

- lots of trans people have turned to drugs to find solace, especially when they are unable to come out. I know a good few people IRL and more online that drink or smoke to deal with it. it is less of a cause and more of a correlation from personal experiences.

- the way I made the bullet points made it seem like they were all reasons, and they weren't. as I said previously, throwing words onto the page without thought. it had random ideas as well as "reasons".

I apologize again for any undue stress and anger I have caused. if you would like to come to my DMs I'm more than willing to talk about it further. If you want to/already have block(ed) me, thats okay too, it looks very bad out of context and I made this community unsafe.

[ohmytamara]

This post, if ever finished, will have potential triggers: mentions of transness, mysogyny and submissivness tied together into impossible knot I am still untangling.

I happen to be wee bit older than most of you, and grown up on eastern fringes of humorously so called western world, not originally english speaking, in broken family where any sex talk was repressed. For all these reasons I was already adult when I figured out being trans is a possibility, and even older when I realised I'm one. Our sex ed was non existent and our internet was shitty. Way before any social medias mind you, for all good and bad it brings, it brings similar people together. There were no similar people for me.

On other hand, many years before my egg cracked I already knew I'm masochist. Like, my first ever wet dream was about kidnapping. Of course, there could have been signs for both. Like, more or less at the same time I became equally interested with how will my mum's tights feel on my legs, and with how will that hammer from tool drawer feel tied to a string, tied to clothspins, hanging heavy from my nipples. Both felt amazing btw. Yeah there were signs my future sex life will be complicated.

Complicated all in all meant: I did not have orgasm until I was 22. Like, my genitals were so alien to me I could not jerk it properly until I was adult. I did not, as they define it for boys and men, "lose" my virginity until I was far into my twenties. And as much as I loved woman I was with, I swear, fucking her with tool she wanted was not pleasure. Her reactions were. But as for me, I might as well wear a strap.

I kept looking for what I like. Turns out I might have went all way around. Back as a teenager I kept searching (was it googling already? not sure) for 'bdsm' and whole new world showed to me. Took inspirations. I tied my knees, I hurt my nipples, spanked myself all it was fresh and glorious. Still it took me time to admit to myself that yes, I identify with subs in these scenarios. Still then I could not get over the fact that subs I watch happen to also be women. Took me next many years to finally admit that yes and I'm ok with that.

Following years were spent on untangling submissiveness and femininity. In my situation I just could not accept they are same and it took time to admit they can be circumstantial. Only when I worked through and could say confidently that I am not drawn to femininity because it's submissive. I am drawn to feminity AND I am submissive. These two things exist in me and both are real and while they can interact, they are not interdependent.

So now this is, apart from my trauma stuff, is what I'm working through with my therapy.

[ticklishraspberries]

hey I want to say this but uh- nobody owes anyone any kind of art? The tickle fandom is full of different peoples, creators and more. Artists arent exactly easy to find for the tickle art that’s put out, and it normally is cis people or anime main characters that are primarily cis men and or not human. Yea, it’s hard to find WOC art. It’s hard to find trans art too. Or most fandoms on anything! It’s hard to find tickle art for most stuff! It’s great to find stuff and share artists when you do! But sending aggressive anons to a fic writer is highkey shitty because it’s not their or a communities part! I don’t like the random hostility I sensed in that post and honestly just wanted to share that nobody owes anyone A THING! :)

I personally didn't take any hostility from the ask - I mentioned in a previous post a few hours earlier that I felt fandom spaces usually focused on the cis white men while pushing other characters aside.

I know that I don't owe anyone fics at all, but I genuinely...don't mind writing things that people want to see more of. I have gone through phases on this blog where I would ONLY accept prompts for F/F pairings because as a sapphic person, I wanted more fics about it. Just because I am white doesn't mean I can't want to help others feel represented in our community and fanfiction space.

I think that anon was just venting in response to what I had said in an ask earlier, and I was happy to give them a place to rant as well as hopefully provide them a resource that may have more of the fics they're looking for!!

It's hard to find tons of specific content in this community, or in general, and it does suck!! But I don't think it's fair to assume that wanting to see more women, people of color, trans people, etc. is a hostile demand. If the anon had blamed me for NEVER writing WOC and being a part of the problem, that would have been more hostile, and untrue as I have done so in the past.

I totally get where you're coming from but I just didn't see it that way and want to be clear that voicing a desire for more representation, at least to me, is not a rude demand, and I'm always willing to hear those things out!!

[brasskingfisher]

do you as a man not feel bad at all for blaming a handful of shitty women for all transphobia

like you have to realize that radfems who are mean on the internet do not have the kind of power conservative men (who are the group hurting trans rights the most) do. why are you only calling out one branch of transphobia. it looks bad

Well, not really no. But that's mainly because I'm not doing that. If you really think that I have any kind of time or patience for conservatives, then you've obviously not read through my posts. However, I do have a particular problem with FARTs and other radfems partly just because of their bullshit appropriation of feminism, but mainly their open and blatant hypocrisy. In so much as they are claiming to support women's rights and advocate for gender equality (and sometimes not even that) whilst openly aligning themselves with literal actual F**KING NAZIS! And obviously their whole arguments of 'women CANNOT find any kind of heterosexual intercourse pleasurable!' and 'Anything and everything sexual is a tool of male violence!'. As though their opinions and experiences are in any way shape or form an inescapable part of the "female experience". Not to mention, whilst I have a problem with transphobes generally, those rich conservative politicians haven't (as of yet) sent me any kind of abuse and or death threats for disagreeing with them, plenty of radfems have.

[brainrotallthewaydown1312]

I live in America. I live in one of the bluest states. I hate the democrats and their burocratic hellscapes that don't actually end up helping anyone. I hate that they claim to represent the left when they are, if anything center-right.

but I will vote for the most popular blue cantidate down the line every time until further notice. I don't even look into the races that much anymore because it is draining and depressing. but I don't have a choice.

because I am also a trans, disabled young adult. and I have family in the south and in the Bible belt. my stepdad is an evangelical Republican. I see what is happening in places with an even slighter red tint. it isn't a question of ideology or policy anymore. it's not about who you agree with or who you would have a beer with. it is a legitimate question of safety. it's about who can I put my vote behind who will not actively cause harm to people in my community.

there are candidates on the right who have said on record that trans people should be arrested, castrated, or even killed. candidates my step father supports. there are candidates on the right who are proposing plans to separate queer families. that's not to mention the first degree murder charges they want to be able to put on anyone who seeks or provides an abortion. or the way they want to kneecap disability benefits and general healthcare even farther than it already is. and those are just the most glaring and obviously dangerous examples that personally effect me. their political, social, and legal ways of treating anyone who is not a rich, white, Christian, straight, cisgender man is dangerous and disgusting.

and the "left" in this country isn't much better. many of them would do the same shit if it didn't reflect poorly on them politically. they hide behind passive and performative policy which is ineffective at best while actively doing other things which work against said ineffective policy.

they are not comparable. one is an ineffective government that is more interested in serving itself and it's image than it's constituents and one is a party working towards totalitarian and fascist government and more violent treatment for it's "undesirable" constituents. it is a question of safety for so many of us. and your ability to recuse yourself, or worse vote for the Republicans, because you "don't agree" with the Democrats is a privilege which you are abusing out of laziness. get your shit together.

the frontrunners on the red side are trump and desantis. trump has literally said that if he is elected again he wants to seize more power and become a dictator. desantis has stated in the past that dictatorships are not bad and that he doesn't like the supreme court. both have done things while in government positions that have led to the targeted criminalization of, violence towards, and deaths of women, trans people, queer people, disabled people, immigrants, and several other groups. it is dangerous to allow them to have power. they cannot be given the presidency. they are both criminals who should have to learn first hand what their party has done to the living conditions in American prisons.

so if you are an American thinking about ignoring the 2024 election, or thinking about voting 3rd party, or for a small candidate, or for a Republican out of protest for the Democrats, get your shit together. suck it up and send in your blue ticket for the most popular candidate who won't actively kill Americans. save your jokes about moving to Canada (which is just as politically and historically fraught) and your observations about "choosing between the less of two evils" or your argument about how third parties are just as valid and just vote for the people who will support human rights against their own will to look good. it doesn't feel good and it's depressing and bleak and there isn't good coming from it, but every time the Democrat you vote for fucks something up or puts forward a shitty policy, just think how many more people it could have hurt coming from a Republican.

if you really want to do something about the two party system or the conservative nature of the democratic party, put your energy into activism and reform. work on discussing what you would prefer more and try to help bring the Overton window back to a less dangerous place. but don't take it out on the people your red vote or absent vote will hurt

sorry but i want to hit every american talking about not wanting to vote democrat anymore with hammers. lol

[doberbutts]

To those wondering what I'm talking about re: Harvestella... these are some of the many comments on various articles regarding the game and specifically the interview that announced the non-binary OPTION (meaning if you don't want to be nb you simply don't select it- literally all it does is give you they/them pronouns instead of she/her and he/him).

And this image from Squeenix's official twitter:

Which is the "absolutely terrible" character customization screen that people are complaining about. Pronouns, body type, skin color, hair color, eye color. Less customization than some, more than others. Your clothes change with your job. Pretty sure the models are exactly the same, just one has [small] boobs and an updo and the other has no boobs and a side ponytail.

Reactions from Gamer Bros vary from your typical shitty trans/nbphobic "mental illness" and "doesn't exist" comments all the way for advocating for genocide of Japan and BOTH antiblack AND anti-Japanese slurs at the same time (that one thankfully downvoted by everyone).

But what gets me the most is the reaction to the male body type. He's fairly androgynous and maybe even a bit pear-shaped- it's hard to tell with the way the clothes flare around his waist. But it's "this guy doesn't look like a man" and "I'm being forced to play as someone I don't look like" which is interesting to me because A: I know men who look like that and

B: I've literally always been forced to play as someone I don't look like, it's VERY RARE that I as a black person can find the correct skin tone, correct hair texture, AND correct facial features in a character customization screen. They are always too dark or too light, with european hair textures, and euro or asian facial features... OR the facial features are just shy of exaggerated characiture (looking at you, Skyrim) and thus playing as such is not a fun experience. And that's JUST my reality of being black, not even mentioning gender or disability.

I don't look like Geralt. I don't look like Aloy. I never have. I never will. I have ALWAYS been forced to play as someone I don't look like. Even when I supposed to make this character *me*. Even when it comes close, it still misses the mark. Even this game does- I don't look like that and my hair would never do that and my face will never be that asian-beauty-standard prettyboy look. I can have my skin tone, that's it.

Gamer Bros really are the weakest link, they think if something doesn't pander immediately and directly to them that it's garbage. As if there aren't thousands of people exactly like me who have yet to see themselves in a game, who've been gaming since they were old enough to hold a controller. How many women out there grew up forced to play male characters while being told "the mc is supposed to be YOU :)" until game companies remembered girls exist too? How many companies STILL do this?

You will not die because in this one offshoot Final Fantasy Farming games you're forced to choose between a twink and a high femme, I promise.

[that-disabled-radfem]

Happy back-to-school y’all

I’ve attended and worked at a couple of super liberal universities. I avoid the gender studies departments for obvious reasons and I still had a lecture in which the female prof gave a brief overview of TERFs and proclaimed her hatred of JKR. Being openly critical of gender ideology, the porn industry, kinks, and ‘sex work’ are the kind of things that can ruin your future in academia. Not to mention the fact that any speech or actions that could be labelled transphobic (ie. defining woman as adult human female) can get you a suspension according to many universities anti-hate-speech policies. 

So, here’s a list of small and smallish (small in terms of overt TERFery, some may require more effort than others) radical feminist actions you can take as a university student:

(this is a liberal arts perspective so if you’re a stem gal this may not apply. but also if you’re in stem maybe you can actually acknowledge that women are oppressed as a sex class without getting kicked out of school. idk)

(Note for TRAs hate reading this: One of the core actions of radical feminism is creating female networks. This is not so that we can brainwash people into being anti-trans. This is because female solidarity is necessary for creating class consciousness and overturning patriarchy. It is harder to subjugate the female sex when we stand together.)

Take classes with female profs. Multiple sections of a class? Pick the one taught by a woman. Have to chose an elective? Only look at electives offered by women. When classes have low numbers they get cancelled. When classes are super popular, universities are forced to consider promoting the faculty that teach them

Make relationships with these female profs. Go to office hours. Chat after class. Ask them about their research. Building female networks is sooooo important!

Actually fill in your end of year course feedback forms. Profs often need these when applying for tenure or applying for a job at another university so it is very important (especially with young and/or new profs) that you fill out these forms and give specific examples of how great these women are. Go off about what you love about them! Give her a brilliant review because you know the idiot boy in that class who won’t shut up even though he knows nothing is going to give her only negative feedback because he thinks any woman who leaves the house is a feminazi b*tch. 

(note: obviously don’t go praising any prof - female or male - who is blatantly racist, homophobic, etc.)

(Also if you have shitty male profs write down all the horrible things they have done and said and put it in these forms because once a shitty man gets tenure they are virtually untouchable)

(also also, leave a good review on rate my profs or whatever other thing students use to figure out if they want to take classes. idc if you copy paste your feedback from the formal review. rave about the class to your friends. do what you can to get good enrolment for that prof for reasons above.)

Participate in class. Talk over the male students. Say what you mean and mean it. Call out the boys when they say dumb shit

Write about women. If you have the option to make a text written by a woman your primary text in an essay, do it. Pick the female-centred option if you’re writing an exam-essay with multiple prompts. (Profs often look at what works on their syllabus are being written about/engaged with as a marker of whether to keep those texts the next time they teach the class. If there are badass women on your syllabus, write about them to keep them on the syllabus) Use female-written secondary sources whenever possible. 

(pro tip: many women in academia are more than happy to talk to you about their papers. expand your female networks by reaching out to article authors through email and asking them about their cool shit)

Get your essays published! Many departments have undergrad journals you can publish in. This will ensure more people read about the women you write about and will demonstrate to the department that people like learning about women

Consider trying to publish your undergrad essay with a legit peer-reviewed journal. If you can do it, your use of female-written secondary sources boosts the reputations of the women who wrote those secondary sources. Also this helps generally to increase scholarship about women’s writing!

Present your papers at conferences! Many schools have their own undergraduate/departmental conferences that you can present at. Push yourself by submitting to outside conferences. Bring attention to women’s works by presenting your papers. Take a space at a conference that would otherwise be reserved for mediocre men

Talk to your profs and/or your department and/or your university about mandating the inclusion of female works in classes if this isn’t something they do already

Sit next to other women in your classes. Talk to them. Make friends. Form study groups. Proofread each other’s essays. Give each other knowing looks when the boys are being dumb. Just interact with other women! Build those female networks!

Be generous with your compliments. A female classmate and I were talking to a prof after class and the classmate told me (out of the blue) that I always have such interesting things to say. I think about that whenever I’m lacking confidence about my academic skills. Compliment the women in your classes for speaking up, for sharing their opinions, for challenging your classmates/profs, for doing cool presentations, etc.

Talk to other women about sexist things going on on campus. Make everyone aware of the sexist profs. Complain about how there are many more tenured men than tenured women. Go on rate my professor and be explicit about how the sexist profs are sexist

Be active on campus and in societies. If a society has an all male executive or is male-dominated, any women who join that society make it less intimidating for more women to join. Run for executive positions! Bring in more women! 

(Pro tip: Many societies’ elections are super gameable. You can be eligible to vote in a society election sometimes just by being a student at that university — even without having done anything with the society before. Other societies might just require that you’ve taken a class in a particular department or attended a society event. (Check the society’s governing documents.) Use those female networks you’ve been building. If you can bring three or four random people to vote for you, that might be enough for you to win. Societies have trouble meeting quorum (the minimum number of people in attendance to do votes) so it is really super achievable to rig an election with a few friends. And don’t feel bad about this. The system is rigged against women so you have every right to exploit loopholes!)

(Also feel free to go vote “non-confidence”/“re-open election” if only shitty men are running. Too often people see that only candidates they don’t like are running and so they give up. But you can actually stop them getting elected)

Your campus may have a LGBTQIA+alphabetsoup society. That society definitely needs more L and B women representation. It may be tedious to argue with the nb straight dudes who insist that it’s fine to use “q***r” in the society’s posters and that attraction has nothing to do with genitals, but just imagine what could happen if we could make these sorts of societies actually safe spaces for same-sex attracted women and advocated for our concerns

Attend random societies’ election meetings. Get women elected and peace out. (or actually get involved but I’m trying to emphasize the lowest commitment option with this one)

Write for the campus newspaper. Write about what women are doing - women’s sports, cool society activities, whatever. Review female movies, books, tv shows, local theatre productions. Write about sexism on campus. We need more female by-lines and more stories about women

Get involved with your campus’s sexual assault & r*pe hotline/sexual assault survivor’s centre/whatever similar organization your campus has if you can. This is hard work and definitely not for everyone (pls take care of yourself first, especially if you are a survivor)

(If your campus doesn’t have an organization for supporting survivor’s of sexualized violence, start one! This is probably going to be a lot of hard work though, so don’t do it alone)

Talk to your student council about providing free menstrual hygiene products on campus if your campus doesn’t already do this. If your campus provides free condoms (which they probs do), use that as leverage (ie. ‘sex is optional, menstruation is not. so why do we have free condoms and no free pads?’)

If you’re an older student, get involved with younger students (orientation week and such activities are good for this). Show the freshman that you can be a successful and well-liked woman without shaving your legs, wearing heels, wearing make-up, etc. Mentor these young women. Offer to go for coffee or proofread essays. 

Come to class looking like a human being. Be visibly make-up less, unshaven, unfeminine, etc. to show off the many different ways of being a woman

Talk to the custodial staff and learn their names. (I know there are men who work in this profession, but it is dominated by low-income women) Say hi in the hallways, ask them about their lives, show them they’re appreciated

Be explicit with your language. When you are talking about sex-based oppression, say it. Don’t say ‘sex worker’ when you mean survivor of human trafficking. This tip is obviously a bit tricky in terms of overt TERFyness, so use your best judgement

That’s all from me for now! Feel free to add your suggestions and remember that feminism is about action

[leighways]

Naw naw naw cuz you're not a trans lesbian 😭 At some point you gotta stop w this cuz now you're just sayin shit you don't know about 😭😭 It's disrespectful to turn a buncha old ugly men into trans women and tbh Tobias would probably agree. Do some introspection cuz this is nasty.

Hm. Wow.

I'm sorry, but why can't women present the way the Papas do? Why can't the Papas be women? Who the hell died and made you king of gender?? Someone's age, shape or size doesn't dictate how they identify, and it's not up to you to say otherwise.

It's also very odd ?? to me that you think creating content for other parts of the LGBT+ community is some sort of inherently problematic activity. As long as it's done with consultation and respect, giving representation to groups other than our own can be a great way to learn about and better understand each other.

I could take this opportunity to mention that my editor, beta reader and co-creator happens to be a trans lesbian (and also one of my best friends, etc), but I know you don't actually care. You're just here to have a gross, public tantrum about your narrow standards for womanhood.

Anyways, before I add your take to the folder of shitty anons I laugh at when I'm stoned, I feel like I should let you know that Tobias himself has said this on the matter of queer Ghost headcanons—taking the time to specifically mention those of the trans variety:

This applies to all trans headcanons btw—not just the transmasculine ones you find more "believable" bc a character "looks" a certain way.

Hope this helps.

[asexual-means-no-attraction]

this might sound silly but one thing that I kind of hate about tumblr's lgbt culture is how they love associating random things with certain gender identities/sexualities ("gay people sit weird" for example) so I'm always paranoid of outing myself for some of my interests because of how people like associating it to afab she/theys on tumblr and now I can't express it freely without being paranoid of it. I love clowns, I love the clown aesthetic and I love drawing my characters as clowns, but i have never seen anyone that's not a nonbinary or openly trans person on tumblr drawing clowns and I've seen people outside of tumblr analyzing people's art and saying shit like "this looks like something a (slur against trans men) would make" so now I'm not posting any drawings I have with clowns in it because I know there might be a possibility of someone saying that about my art too. I wish this "gay/trans culture" thing didn't exist or at least not to this extent, because not everyone is fine with people knowing they're trans because they wear hawaiian shirts and that's a "transmasc thing".

I definitely feel you. And you're not wrong. Stuff that was started as a joke started genuinely becoming serious for some people and that's when it all fell apart.

That said. That idea is very much NOT mainstream. The mainstream stereotypes are basically the same as they've always been (being a masculine women=gay/feminine man=gay). Most people don't actually see Hawaiian shirts as a trans man give away. Honestly, I've had more people think I was gay because of my Hawaiian shirts than trans.

Unless the people are in the LGBT community or are involved in some way, you're gonna be fine. And even then, if you treat it casually then no one really questions it. Post clowns, don't mention anything you don't want to about your clowns. Most people won't bat an eye. And the ones saying slurs aren't people you wanna listen to in the first place. Especially if it's online, you can just block people.

Irl people's are gonna be a lot faster to assume you're gay than trans. It's just, not something that occurs to most people. Not sure if that's any better for your paranoia. But I know I prefer being clocked as gay than trans (cuz it means I pass as a man. Tho still shitty to assume I'm gay cuz I'm a bit too feminine for their approval).

Overall, I think it's important to acknowledge how this stuff has messed up stereotypes and just reinforced new ones. That's shitty. But it's also important to work on saying "fuck my paranoia/anxiety/bad thoughts, imma do/wear the things I want." The more you let yourself enjoy and express yourself how you want the easier it gets to ignore the people who made you feel bad about doing it in the first place.

Not sure if that's actually helpful. But one last piece of advice that might be better: get off tumblr for a bit. Go out and look at other guys, look at others art. You'll find a shit ton of cis straight men wearing Hawaiian shirts, and a lot of people drawing all sorts of shit coming from a variety of backgrounds. Sometimes we get stuck in these small circles and we forget that the rest of the world isn't involved in these circles. It's important to get out of them just to understand how much we're all alike. And how many people do the same things we do. And revaluate some of the assumptions we have about what different things mean. Cuz our circles don't represent anything outside of said circles. They can't really tell you much about the world. You gotta experience that yourself. I think that'll help calm down your paranoia, and maybe help get you outta and away from these circles that are making it worse for you.

[antiterf]

I turned off reblogs for this post because I was getting disappointed in the support in the responses of it. There's even an ask I got asking if I supported it, and I went into why I didn't here

Though I'm going to reblog now because I've seen a little bit of discourse around women feeling safe around trans men and masculinity. By the way everything I said in that ask still stands, I see this still as a result of patriarchy.

Mainly "it's your responsibility to prove that you're safe" because that's a bit of an individualistic take on a societal issue, isn't it? How does one prove that they're safe when the default is doing nothing? When your body is a threat by existing, how is someone supposed to prove it is not?

I have this issue when I'm in academia for sex and gender issues. I have it when I speak my mind that something seems misogynistic even if people see it as a disruption or disagreeable (my dude, the disruption is the misogyny). This is an issue with strangers, where most of what they will take from me are visual cues and maybe auditory if I talk. Even in classrooms or groups I'm in on a regular basis, the tension seems to go down because of the whole open leftist thing (while it goes up for other people. It makes good repellent). But by then we still have the walk in the room first encounter, we have to hope that the person gets a chance to see me.

And I meet a standard that most people don't: be loud and annoying to bigots. Every time I am there's an automatic calculation on how much it can put me at risk, how much am I seen as queer or neurodivergent-how safe am I to be those things here?="Hey that's not cool." With a very flexible view of safe. If I was a person of color, especially if I was Black, it'd be a lot more risky for me to do that and have it end okay. I try to use the privilege I have when I see an issue, but again, that's a line to hoping someone else makes the environment less safe or based on where I fall on the lines of intersectionality.

So then what? I hope that the stickers on my water bottle are seen? Wear a shitty t shirt? Because the only way I can prove I'm less threatening to everyone off the bat would be to look like a woman. I'm already short and walk with a cane, I'm openly queer in most situations. That or I mask my ADHD and stop stimming to seem less odd.

But that's transphobic or ableist. So no one's going to outright say that.

Like, in the grand scheme of things I still see this as a small problem, but it's still a problem. It still makes me feel more isolated. It's just that in comparison I see trying to avoid sexual harassment as a bigger issue for women or getting hrt legally a bigger one for me. It's still an issue I wanted to mention though.

It's one that I think should still be worked on though by dismantling the patriarchy and to have men no longer seen as a form of power and as a threat. This is the result of a group of people being rightfully afraid of a possible threat. The solution isn't to place the fix on an individual change in behavior, though. That's just telling us to be less masculine like the rest of society.

Since starting to pass as a cis guy more, I noticed that it's harder for me to talk to women. Not in a "I don't know what they're thinking" way but in a "I still go by introvert rules and wait for people to usually talk to me first." If I do start talking to them, I usually sense tension or disinterest and stop.

I don't think it was as bad prior to passing. And like, I don't think I'm threatening looking. I have facial hair but besides that I'm 5'4" and walk with a cane.

I think it's just that I'm a man, I look like one and people tell me that I "act" like one. It kind of sucks, I know that it's because any man that you don't know well can act shitty, that I shouldn't take it personally (I mean, I could if we factor in that it's obvious to most that I'm neurodivergent in some way, but I don't care if that's the problem because I'm not going to mask), but I don't want all of my friends to be men outside of queer spaces.

It's been bugging me for a while but I never shared it because it could make it seem that I treat women differently than men or act like a creep. I've tried to look at that again and again, and I don't think I do. Plus I get better odds when it's obvious I'm queer in some way (even then it depends).

It's weird

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading every article in my twitter likes part 3

part one part two

took a break to bake some cookies and read a few chapters of Darcie Little Badger's new YA novel, but now it's back to the grind. for those of you playing along at home, I've made it as far back as my likes from early November 2021.

article 41: "Twitter Is The Worst Reader" by noted Fonda Lee on the twitterish tendency to assume the worst of everyone - particularly women, people of color, and other marginalized folks - at all times. of particular note is this scathing observation of twitter mobs demanding apologies from the targets of their harassment: "Never in the history of Twitter have I ever seen an apology be accepted or actually reduce the abuse leveled. One hundred percent of the time, they are dissected for inadequacy and insincerity, held up as proof of the offender’s malicious intent all along, and used as kindling to further fan the flames."

pried from behind the cold and unforgiving paywall of the New York Times it's article 42: "The Mark Zuckerberg Aesthetic" by Amanda Hess. I'm so tired of this utterly banal cyberpunk dystopia. there's not even any neon. and I would rather swallow a live iguana than ever have to interact with Zuck's shitty little metaverse.

article 43: "We Were Too Stupid for Jennifer's Body" by twitter user @/SamFateKeeper. did NOT expect this to talk so much about post-9/11 conservatism but I love the journey I've been taken on.

anyway probably should have mentioned that we've crossed the line back into tweets from October 2021.

article 44: "Thackery Binx is not Trans Masc, Sorry, and Neither is Rufio, or the Concept of Jonathan Taylor Thomas" from Julian K. Jarboe's substack. what a buckwild analysis of... something? characters that transmasc dudes of a certain age tend to project onto? also just a fantastic series of digs at poor useless Thackery Binx.

article 45: "New roots: Black musicians and advocates are forging coalitions outside the system" by Jewly Hight at NPR (our first NPRticle!). incredibly exciting to discover so many of my faves in this article - Amythyst Kiah! Yola!! Lizzie No!!! - discussing the way they've fought for space in a genre so heavily dominated by white artists. also a lot of cool new names to know - go listen to Roberta Lea n o w.

you guys are not gonna believe this but article 46 is ANOTHER entry from Ijeoma Oluo's substack. this time it's "All Of the Outrage You Could Ever Want." it's about "cancel culture," it's about accountability, it's about hierarchies of perceived value, you know the drill.

article 47: back to BuzzFeed for another article by Scaachi Koul, "Emily Ratajkowski’s New Book Tests The Limits Of Self-Awareness." an unsurprising and very fair criticism of Ratajkowski's essay collection, which I am still very much looking forward to reading based on my great appreciation of her September 2020 essay in New York Mag about experiences with an exploitative photographer. I don't need to her to solve the conundrum of benefitting from her objectification; I'm content to pick a stranger's brain.

article 48: speaking New York Mag, we've got "You Can Still Say 'Woman' But You Shouldn't Stop There" by Irin Carmon. I've never in my life seen such an impressive collection of pissbaby justifications for refusing to use inclusive language to talk about reproductive rights. grow up lmao.

article 49: everyone stop sharing that fake Bible verse about how Jesus was transmasc and read this article by Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg queering Joseph of the infamous technicolor dreamcoat.

article 50 (can you BELIEVE I've done 50 of these? 40 of which I've read over the course of a single Saturday?): the intriguingly titled "The Politics of 'Jewface'" by Rebecca Pierce at Jewish Currents. an almost undeservedly thoughtful response to some comments that, at a guess, Sarah Silverman did not think about for more than approximately 0.003 seconds before making.

[unlimitedbutchworks]

Literally there are so many times trans men have been told to shut up because trans women have it worse.

Granted, a good chunk of those times it’s said by self hating trans men.

Look I’m not saying trans women should never get to speak, but like. Talking about the lateral aggression in queer communities that transmasculine people face is often called transmisogyny, when most of us don’t even mention trans women. You get me?

Idk maybe this makes no sense

second ask and full thoughts under readmore.

tl;dr: that sucks dude and it shouldnt happen but can we please talk about transmisogyny without making transfems do this song and dance about acknowledging trans men also feel transphobia every time we speak up? because ive said what im saying here several times and its starting to get really tiring that tme ppl arent listening lol. transmisogyny doesnt imply that other people have it better or anything, its just recognizing the unique and shitty ways that trans women get fucked over, you shouldnt see this in opposition to you! maybe read this post also

Idk how to explain where I’m coming from; sorry for two asks.

Again, I want trans women to be able to talk about their own problems. My problem is people — mainly people who aren’t trans women! — derailing any conversation about trans men’s oppression and making it about trans women.

For example, trying to change the discussion to be about what words people can use, claiming anyone who talks about trans men’s problems is a transmisogynist, etc.

And look, I think trans men can be transmisogynists, and should be called out. But I feel like… ugh idk how to word it. Like any trans guy who tries having a conversation about our own problems is going to be called a transmisogynist, even if the conversation has basically nothing to do with trans women.

for me, i can only speak from experience and ive seen very little of that happening, but ill trust you when you say that and say, yknow, that sucks, its bad and shouldnt happen? like. if this is about the post i think its about, my comment about that never happening was hyperbole to make a brief point before going back on topic, which is why i also said that if it does happen, then that sucks, because it does/would? like. im not your enemy, im not trying to silence trans men. ive lived my literal entire life constantly being socially silenced and ostracized, thats not what im doing. the focus on a throwaway comment is kind of irritating.

trans men should be able to talk about their unique issues and stigmas and thats a good thing that they should do, no transfem i know thinks otherwise. what ill also say is that what you're describing, talking about "lateral oppression in queer communities" often comes from a transmisogynistic place; my posts about transmisogyny should be about transmisogyny and, yknow, what im talking about, but theres at least a few trans dudes on each of those posts going on about how simply trying to talk with the language of transmisogyny is oppressing them. this is (trans)misogyny. its normal (even if it shouldnt be) for men to assume theyre being oppressed when they see women empowered, and thats whats happening here. like, literally just remove the word "trans" and youll see what i mean, this is an issue of gender and misogyny. you can talk about men's issues without pulling women down and acting like feminism is trying to push you down, yknow? i shouldnt only hear about this oppression and transphobia you face when i or other trans women are talking about transmisogyny, and yet it always seems to crop up in that way or else decry transmisogyny as a concept in other ways. like, the derailing thing you're describing literally has happened on all of my bigger posts about transmisogyny, and other big ones by other ppl as well! its extremely plain to see.

trans men should talk about the transphobia they face and they should be able to do this without getting blasted with oppression olympics but you should also recognize a lot of this transandrophobia rhetoric comes from a transmisogynistic place, especially because its often used and brought up in opposition to a trans woman talking about the extremely common intracommunity issue of tme people leveraging transmisogyny against trans women by leaning back on bioessentialism, clinging to cagab-based identities, and views of us being inherently "male" on some level or another. we are not your enemies, and you are not ontologically incapable of violence