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#not to mention ive NO MONEY
sodrippy · 2 months
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once again wondering why we havent evolved past the Need to eat food. all well and good if you want it as a hobby but i want Nutritional Paste
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skunkes · 2 months
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#a doodley#i had to make this blue so tumblr would stop hiding it from the dash#anyway no caption this happened 2 hrs ago#im happy abt my surgery but it and other things this year keep beinging conversations like these up#and i cant handle it at all.#everything my dad tells me just makes me feel worse and not bc its anything bad but bc I Feel Bad#like the conversation then continued to him being like no dont cry im just saying i wpuld have wanted to#quit my job decades ago and set aside money so I wouldnt be struggling as much now but that didnt happen#and i just dont want that to happen to you guys :)#so we have to support u so that your life is what u want it to be#and i cried even more bc what do u mean. thats so sad. ur a person and u were a child and baby once and ur gonna die#and you always almost cry when u talk about your mom who passed away decades ago#and your brothers that passed away#recently and im going to be your age and still sobbing bc i miss my dad. just like i have been prematurely crying about since i was 7#the other day my dad asked my mom if i cried a lot when i was a baby/kid and my mom said no and then my dad#said that when i Did cry it was so severe he thought i would ''drown in my own tears''#bc i could never stop. like. thats still true today. ive been crying on and off since then#i think i mentioned he's just been telling me stories about his life lately and it further fuels this. i get so sad. im sorry your life was#like this. i dont want to die i dont want you to die im sad im sorry im sorry#im scared. im never going to see you again. how horrible. how horrible#i cant enjoy my day today bc every day is a day closer and i get sad
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orcelito · 10 months
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showing off the commission i got from @ruporas for my fic, In the Next Life!
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i'm still so incredibly excited about this. it's been some months since the story event that caused these scars, but i wanted SO BADLY to be able to see what they'd actually Look like... & Here They Are.
ruporas rendered the scars So Well, i just cant stop Looking at them... there's a Fresh & a Healed version, which ruporas was kind enough to give me without additional charge (Thank U Again😭😭) so i get to see what it looks like at different stages.
Lichtenberg Figures. in terms of actual scarring, lightning strikes that people survive don't tend to leave permanent scars, but the lichtenberg figures that they (usually temporarily) leave behind are just So Cool... Now, what happens when you get someone who can survive an amount of electricity/lightning that would be Frankly Lethal to any normal human person?
This :]
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favvnsongs · 4 months
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daftpatience · 7 months
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one thing I have learned about being poor is that you cannot for a moment stop thinking about it
#theres no peace#every little thing reminds me we are poor#seeing friends having electricity wifi heat food gas. it all costs money. and bills and fees and charges happen all the damn time#im constantly worried that i am measing up somehow or im not keeping track of my finances properly#the person handling our disability assistance application keeps coming back with question after question about my job#and i have so much doubt and fear that ive made some mistake in my answers that will disqualify us from support#and theres this sick backwards stupid thing where applying for and being on disability support is discouraging me from trying to make money#because the more i make the less likely we'll get support but i need to make money to live#its just fucked. and once we're on support i have to make monthly reports of my income so ill feel like im explaining myself all the fuckin#time#cus the system isnt built in a way that makes sense for self employed ppl who have business expenses to account for#sorry for the ranting i cant sleep#truly truly i think poverty is making me a worse persin#more anxious more resentful more jealous more miserable more spiteful#i have so little and there is so little i can do to help it#i want things in a more desparate and even childish way than i used to eant things#spend a lot more time fantasizing about magically having expendable income#not to mention the constant exponential guilt that comes from asking for help or recieving help. its guilt i need to unlearn but i feel it
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bottlehawk · 1 year
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hello guys. the fucked up ecto-inverse of dirkjohn isn't davejake. it's davejane. this has been a psa. and you're welcome
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zooweemama143 · 5 months
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last rb had me thinking of how lame bif would actually be as a person
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mbat · 6 months
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world of warcraft is wild in that they have a species that is an antisemitic caricature (which said species commonly is in fantasy but they really go hard on it) and then they let you play as said species which i think is already wild. also if you play the default starting area you are made to play a horrible person as that species
and then i, a jewish person, made a character of that species as a way to somehow spite them (?? i still dont know how that spites them but it was why i did it) but then i got like really attached to her and shes one of my favorite characters ive made in general and i think about her a lot. also i didnt play the default starting area so she wasnt forced to be a totally completely bad person at least for any of that
tfw you make one dimensional antisemitic caricature species but then you make them playable and therefore allow your players to get attached and make non one dimensional characters of them. wild
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genekies · 3 months
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tag vent
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#i have to move back to my hometown due to a mistake. a misunderstanding. and being too trusting in others ideas#and my boyfriend is moving an hour away as well. neither of us have been able to get a car or license yet due to money and i dont know when#we can see eachother again after we both move. since we started dating weve been sleeping in the same bed because we were/are roommates#just being gone for the weekend in my hometown is hard because i cant stand to be here but its worse because hes not in my bed every night#ive grown so used to falling alseep in his arms that i dont know what to do at night. i dont feel safe without his arms holding me#ive never felt safe where ive lived before. ive never felt safe in a relationship. ive never felt loved for who i am. that was until him.#now i feel safe in our home. i feel safe in our relationship. i feel loved for who i am. and now we have to be so far apart.#ive done long distance before but this is going to hurt so much my cat loves him she is super cautious and scared around new people but#she loved him since the start. not to mention shes my esa so that really mattered to me. he wants to move with me but it isnt happening#he got definite housing an hour away for super cheap in a town where he knows everyone and i have possible in a town where im surrounded by#people i know but am terrified of. im scared to move back here but have no choice. unless i make that terrifying choice of going with him.#the apartment he is getting is a two bedroom. id only have a studio. hes offered for me to come but im scared to move that far away again#i want to be with him but im scared to move to a whole new town with him. i know hes an amazing guy but we'd be moving away from my friends#and family. i already have to move away from all my friends if i go back to my hometown but this would be a different story.#moving to a whole new town with a guy that i only started dating 2 months ago? like yes. i lived with him previously and knew him for longer#than we dated but im still scared. i think rightfully so. but still.#but there are some pros to moving with him. hometown has no music scene and his town does and thats really important to me.#we'd also be close to his family. but farther from mine. hed be around friends and id have none no matter where i go.#idk im just rambling but i really needed to vent. i lost my best friend recently to the point of them siding with strangers almost and they#helped them break and enter into the house to intimidate me and bf and then a few days later came with cops after saying repeatedly that#they were an anarchist and acab but only when they dont use them apparently. because i guess morals/values only matter when its convenient#im so tired though but i cant sleep so i might write some cringe poetry and try to chill out before going on a late night/early morning walk#tag vent#vent in tags
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wetslug · 3 months
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ive actually been tracking my mood consistently for the past 3 weeks. the data is about 2 go crazy
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samarecharm · 4 months
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Have no idea what the popular opinions of this game are, but im really liking how ‘simple’ the game is compared to p5. It makes sense; its an older game w less physical space to fuck around with. And it still resembles an smt game, unlike p5, which feels almost like an entirely different series. P5 is chaotic and theres too many people and stats and deadlines to worry about. I do really enjoy that i only have to worry about Tartarus (for the meantime; unsure if theres more dungeons to explore) instead of mementos AND palaces. And i really like that theres only three stats to work on. Its less stuff overall but its not underwhelming; its just less stressful for me and thats a good thing lol
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dandunn · 4 months
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Todays been kinda wild, I find out that one of my transgirl mutuals got deleted at the same time i get an email response from staff MONTHS after the report I made about a post from a terf saying they hope people who use neopronouns kill themselves.
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like ok you can instantly brick accounts but take months to tell me that blatant hate speech isnt a problem and doesnt break ur dumbass terms of service? are any humans even working at tumblr anymore?
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idk what to say man, it's right there at the top.
"you can express your concerns to them directly"
yeah because transphobes have been known for their levelheaded calm responses against people they view as crazy, disgusting and inferior. they totally aren't trying to drive us all off this site and take away our healthcare and rights in real life. and they TOTALLY dont make up stupid names and slurs to dehumanize us.
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the desire to do comms vs my inability to remember that i got a message FIGHT-
#its like 'oh a message! i will respond later'#and then later never comes cause i have no damn object permanence Or working memory#then its like... what do i even say#'hi sorry i ghosted your simple question for two days i forgot you messaged me' AGH#or especially lately#i mean to do things and then i get a New piece of distressing information about the way my life is going#which then consumes my thoughts and leaves no room for anything else#ahaha thanks! ill claw my eyes out now!! wow!!! FUCK!#trying to keep up the things i enjoy is. so tough rn#but ill flounder w/o em so! hard work that i am mostly failing at but i Keep Trying#yes i wanna do comms. yes i wanna draw. yes i wanna talk to people. can i? mmmmm......#can't wait for this chapter in my life to be over. goddamn.#ive been in a perpetual state of intense stress since early childhood#but my fucking duck things lately have been taking the cake#absolutely unprompted#oh no this is turning into a vent post Look Away#well my mother called again last night and was all 'im getting you a car'#and uh. i started physically shaking while profusely thanking her (lying through me teeth)#GIRL!!! I DONT NEED A CAR THATS TOO MUCH RN!!!#she's always mentioning how the collective We are tight on money#and that rn i need to focus on making decisions and getting a job ill hold for like. a month#and then she slams this down outta left field??? thats so much extra stress i dont need right now???#now i gotta worry about parking and maintaining it and gas money i dont have And And And-#i cant exactly tell her Dont Fucking Do That bc then she'll blow up in my face and call me inconsiderate & ungrateful again#me and my stepdad dont have the fucking TIME to get one! and then she was like 'oh i can always come down to help'#please dont. do not do that. i cant deal with you in person right now that sounds hellish#anyway. case in point#cant even think about messages and stuff i Want to think about bc all this bullshit is taking up my entire mind#metaphorically slamming my face into a brick wall till theres nothing left. aaaghhahsbkjadadj#its too much its Too Much everything is so much and its too much and can i be let be for two fuckin seconds please
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empyreasheart · 8 months
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but on the topic of language learning apps some i used include
Drops - made by the same people at kahoot, more of a vocabulary app than learning actual grammar but it has a lot of options, free version lets u do 5 minutes every 12 hours. If you want to learn more than one language what i did was download the individual language apps (u can either just download drops for all languages or drops (specific language) ie drops spanish for just spanish) and use different accounts. i also took advantage of the free trial cuz its fun but i do think the 5-10 minutes a day thing works fine to create a doable habit
Beelinguapp - This one requires a subscription i dont remember how much you can do without one but i have an android so i just downloaded a modded apk. edit: i forgot to elaborate when i posted this but its practicing reading / listening by reading stories and articles
Mango languages - this one is a lot different than duolingo but still good, its essentially based on learning by hearing / speaking a new language than just learning vocabulary and writing sentences. It requires premium BUT if you have a library card you can check if your local library lets you use it for free (this isnt guarenteed unfortunately but i think it is more common in bigger areas), there are also some free endangered languages
Memrise - Like the name implies this is mostly an app for memorizing words and sentences, using flashcards. Theres official courses but users can make them too so you can use it for more than just language learning if you want to. I think if you used this with mango languages it would be helpful to get practice writing phrases & words in a way you dont get to with ml. Apparently theres a pro subscription but i have no idea whats different & a lot of people say the free version works just fine
Ling - Havent used this for very long but its almost identical to duolingo but with more languages, its basically premium only but once again i use a modded apk
Some more specific stuff
Lifeprint - ASL w/ videos and its all free! a very good resource even if you arent looking to learn
Tagalog.com - Free resource for tagalog you just have to make an account
If you have resources for specific languages or anything in general id love to hear, this is all just from someone who has had a casual interest in language learning
Also if you have an android you can download modded apks of a lot of paid language apps. Just be safe (use adblock) and smart, not all apks are actually modded or theyre too buggy to be worth it, so pay attention to the reviews. The paid apps are often very nice but the prices are ridiculous. everyone deserves the chance to learn. I dont know if theres ios equilivants (although i wonder if theres a way to run apks on your pc through something like bluestacks)
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arts-i-enjoy · 6 months
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AHHHHHH
#this post brought to you by: me#i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses#i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP#like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready#anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT#and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk#and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message#even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL#AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!!#i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year#i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17?#ive had a good well paying job since i was 18.#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job#which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind#so theres no point staying here.#i might never have this kind of job security again.#but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something#on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now#on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT#but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to#richard started yelling and swearing el oh el#might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible?#but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option#the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going#idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks#this is why i want to get out of here#also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about#not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey!#if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!
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wszczebrzyszynie · 1 year
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hello! not to be nosy, i’m a young artist and i wanted to ask, what are your tips for starting selling art online? where did you order the keychains from? (they look beautiful!!!) is it some small business, a manufacturer?
thank you very much :3
have a nice day
oh actually i haven't properly sold anything online yet, and it was my first time 4 days ago ive ever sold commissions. I am yet to set up a storenvy page (thats where my mutuals sell so i just trust their choice) and my only actual experience is selling stickers by myself a year ago (an experience i dont wish for anyone; if you want to sell something get yourself a store page. i sold around 80 sticker sets just by instagram dms and navigating that was absolute hell, especially since i didnt have paypal yet and my older friend managed all the money related things. it was succesful but very very stressful and easy to mess up); not much i can help with, im afraid
as for the keychains, i ordered them from vograce!
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