#not the result i expected for her but i suppose it sorta works!

[icehearts]

which poisonous flowering plant are you?

HEMLOCK. This is the poison of intense fear. Your body trembles, your flesh burns. Your limbs won't respond to you. You convulse. You can't seem to control the fear. It seems that it has always lived within you. You hesitate, you agonize, and that breeds regret. Sometimes it threatens to overwhelm you, and that frightens you more than anything. But panic is survival mode in overdrive, and something within you knows you must live. Creation seems to be the only balm for you. Perhaps you survive so stubbornly because you have stories that must be told, songs that must be sung. Soothe your stage fright. The path from surviving to thriving is having a good garden to grow in. And you can't do that completely alone.

HUGE thanks to the person who made this quiz that is perfectly suited for Esca. ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و I haven't seen this one make the rounds yet so I'm throwing it out there like a live grenade.

Quiz: [ link here ] Tagging: @sealrock @tsunael @shroudkeeper

@abalathia @prudentfolly @ubejamjar @aethermimic @viiioca -- and literally everyone and anyone who wants to do this for their character!

[honeysuckleharringtons]

"Love and Pumpkin War" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: Steve and Reader have themselves a little pumpkin carving competition and it takes a much different turn than expected. All's fair in love and pumpkin carving, right?

Pairing: Steve Harrington x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1,102

Content Warning: mild sexual humor, mild swearing, food talk sorta (lots of pumpkin references), pumpkin guts are mentioned approximately 145294629452946 times, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: i also hate the summary yay! 😀

Originally Written: 10/26/2023

honeysuckleharringtons masterlist can be found here!

halloweek masterlist can be found here!

"Okay, how'd I do?" Steve asked, showing off his newly carved pumpkin.

You nearly dropped your knife in exasperation. "How are you already finished?" you grumbled, a sense of defeat coming over you.

He started to say something, then snickered at himself. You raised an eyebrow at him as if to ask, What's so funny?

"I almost said, 'When I do something, I do it hard and fast,' but I don't think that's exactly how I should say it," he laughed, resulting in you tossing a couple of pumpkin seeds at his head.

"Never mind how fast you are," you said sarcastically, "How are you already finished when I've barely scraped all the insides out of mine?"

"Dunno. But seriously, how'd I do?" he asked, holding up his pumpkin.

The pumpkin was supposed to be a regular Jack-O-Lantern, save for heart shaped eyes instead of triangles. Steve claimed the heart eyes would send off the right signal to any 'hot chicks' passing by his house, which gained him a sarcastic laugh from you. However, the hearts came out closer to ovals, the smile was almost perfectly horizontal, and he'd forgotten to give it a nose.

Still, in the spirit of wanting to win, you told him, "It looks pretty good, Steve."

"Why do I get the feeling you're lying to me?" he asked, hands on his hips. Of course, you were lying, but he didn't have to know that.

Soon enough, you were finished with your own carving, showing off your creation to the brunette across from you. Yours was a perfectly carved moon, surrounded by dainty little stars. Sure, you'd used a stencil while Steve was busy at work on his own pumpkin, but he didn't have to know that either.

"How the hell did yours come out perfect and mine looks like a five-year-old did it?" Steve complained.

A smug smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "I'll take my five dollars now."

His mouth flew open in shock. In one swift motion, he was tossing a handful of pumpkin guts, as he'd been calling them, directly at you. "I know you cheated somehow!"

In rebuttal, you were tossing pumpkin goo in his direction, a loud smack! sounding through the room as it hit his hard chest. You knew his mother would kill you both when she came home to see her kitchen covered in orange gunk, but neither of you seemed to care.

Seeds and slime flew back and forth like bullets on a battlefield, squeals and laughs filling the air as the two of you chased each other around the kitchen. At one point, you'd pretended to go one way just so you could sneak around him and dump a handful of pumpkin seeds and goo right into his hair, earning you a loud noise of aggravation from the man.

You'd gotten a bit carried away, almost forgetting about the gunk that now covered the floor. In an instant, your foot was slipping in a small pile of pumpkin, and you braced yourself for contact with the floor. But a loud smack against the floor never came, and instead, Steve's hand was wrapping around your wrist and pulling you back up.

You swore a jolt of electricity shot through you at his touch, his fingertips wrapped almost too tightly around your skin as he held you up. Laughter ceased from both of you, being replaced instead by heavy breaths and deep eye contact. It never really occurred to you just how pretty his eyes were. Sure, he was your best friend and you'd looked into his eyes countless times. But you'd never stopped to admire the tiny swirls of green mixed in with the deep brown that colored Steve's irises.

Butterflies floated around in your tummy as he still held your wrist, a look of concern prominent in his features. Steve might as well have been staring a hole straight through you, his eyes filled with worry from your slipping.

As if he could hear your thoughts, Steve was stuttering some form of inquiry about your current state as he looked over you. "A-Are you okay?" he managed, still not having released your arm from his grip.

You nodded, though between the seriousness swirling in his eyes and his electric touch on your skin, you were feeling quite the opposite of okay.

You'd never really thought about Steve like this. Having a crush on him was strictly off the table, considering you definitely weren't his type. And you certainly didn't want to cross any boundaries and ruin your nearly lifelong friendship with him. But when you stopped to consider all the little glances he'd shot your way in high school, all the little acts of kindness he'd done for you over the years, it was hard not to consider the idea of having crushes on each other.

As if once again reading your thoughts, he was finally removing his hand from your wrist, his finger moving up to a lock of loose hair and sliding it behind your ear. His look of worry had changed to one you couldn't quite recognize. But when his lips landed on yours, you recognized the look as one of want, a craving for you.

His kiss sent little jolts shooting through your veins, the scent of pumpkin and cologne filling your senses as you kissed him back. The butterflies from before had returned, dancing and floating around in your belly at the way he tasted, the way he felt.

Embarrassment heated up his cheeks as he pulled away, his face turning cherry red as he realized what he'd done. "I'm sorry," he apologized, suddenly looking anywhere but at you.

This time, your fingers shot out and wrapped around his wrist, catching him before he had the chance to run away. "Don't be. I didn't mind it."

His brows furrowed at your words. "You didn't?"

You shook your head, leaning up to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "Between you and me, I kinda liked it."

A smirk came to his lips as he glanced around the room, taking in the sight of the mess you both had made. "Just between you and me," he paused, lips coming close to your mouth, though never making contact. Unbeknownst to you, he'd reached around you and grabbed a certain piece of paper, before holding it up in front of you. "I knew about the stencil."

This time, his lips were met with a big scoop of pumpkin guts. And so the battle continued on, the Harrington kitchen being filled with kisses and slime.

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @aftermidnightwriting @manuosorioh @esoltis280

[but-a-humble-goon]

As are aware of Bruce's more negative character traits, who while not liking them doesn't dismiss them as a non canon aberration, you seem like the person to ask this question.

Do you think Gut's could be a good comparison as far as characters go in terms of being someone who is capable of great kindness & great cruelty, who is meant to be sympathetic but can at time horrify.

Obviously Guts having been written by one author for one story is a notably more coherent character. This is more of a general comparison if someone embodying two extremes & still making sense.

Guts in the Misty Valley arc could both save & be very cool towards a young child & be a source of comfort, but could also switch to holding a knife to that same child's throat to lure in an enemy for a surprise attack & still feel coherent.

Do you think a well written Batman could be handled as such, and or that Batman as he largely stands in terms of overall collective works could be regarded in a similar light?

I think the sheer insurmountable difference in the writing quality is what makes the comparison difficult. The way I'd describe it is Guts feels like an incredibly well written dark fucked up antihero and Batman feels like a very badly written morally grey goodguy. It's hard to reconcile Bruce's good with his bad because most of the time it genuinely feels like him being kind of a monster happens unintentionally thanks to writers just having no clue what they're doing. Like, clearly during the whole Stephanie War Games saga the audience was supposed to sympathize with Bruce over her but like... they sorta forgot to make him sympathetic and forgot to make Stephanie do anything bad besides being a teenaged girl so the result his he just comes across like a willfully abusive piece of shit motivated apparently by pure spite. Or, again, by pure misogyny if you take Chuck Dixon's word for it. Or whenever he's casually gleefully cruel to criminals and treats them like animals. Most of the time it doesn't feel like the story is commenting on Batman's own issues, it just kinda feels like it's being written by people who think the thoughtless brutality is okay and/or super cool actually and are using Bruce as a vicarious power fantasy. Or all the times they have him lash out with physical violence against his kids, do they actually get how screwed up and over the line that is? Because it feels more like the writers are just like "nah, it's cool, they're not his real kids so it doesn't count as child abuse, just regular abuse which is fine." I've said it before but it genuinely feels like writers think him just being Batman (the beloved childhood icon of whole generations) is a free pass to have him constantly act as awful as they feel like and never face consequences, learn any lessons or grow as a person while expecting everyone to still like him for some reason. I don't think there really is a way to square Batman's constant shittiness with the good person we're supposed to take him to be. Instead it just ends up feeling like there's two Batmans; one who's gruff, antisocial and scary but ultimately a hero who always means well... and another who is a totally incoherently horrible leech of a human being who everyone inexplicably has infinite patience for, presumably because they mistake him for the first guy. On the other hand, Berserk clearly at least understands that the extremes of bastardry Guts ends up going to are indeed extremes. They actually endeavor to make it make internal sense for the character. The dude is at any one time just barely clinging to his sanity after all the horrific shit he's lived through and every single time he tries to let his guard down and start healing the universe punishes him for it, leaving him broken all over again. He ends up being sympathetic because he's somehow only as much of a monster as he is. Even at his absolute darkest he's managed to hold on to even just the faintest glimmer of his humanity despite everything. Also to be perfectly honest, accounting for the sheer difference in quantity of content I would put money on Guts having a much higher proportional rate of humanizing moments of genuine kindness for contrast than Bruce does, even if he does also go a whole lot darker than Bruce ever has.

So if anything the comparison feels more like: here's what to do and here's what not to do.

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

I don’t know where your number is at soooooo —

Could you please write a fic with reader being trained by the phantomhive staff in self defense / defending the manor in general? Either all together or a mini story for mey rin, bard, Tanaka, Sebastian? I figured Finny would be more like your personal cheerleader?? Because he can’t exactly teach anyone to have super strength, ya feel? Please and thank you!!

this is sorta like a cross between the ideas?

I LOVE THEM ALL, YOUR HONOR

“There we are, that’s it! … Lord, (Name), y’ need t’ tighten up y’r aim a bit, y’ do. That was a bit sloppy.”

You offer a little wince as you turn back to MEY RIN, wondering exactly what she expects of you. This is your first time shooting a gun, after all! “S… sorry, ma’am. I’m trying.”

She nods understandingly. “No, no, I know y’ are. Y’ coulda done a lot worse, all things considered.”

Within only a few seconds, she’s swiftly at your back. Arms around you, she snaps your hands and gun into a slightly different position. She’s been doing this for so long, it must be almost like breathing to her, mustn’t it? You have to wonder how she’s not incredibly frustrated with a newcomer’s abilities.

“C’mere. Let’s see… good. Alright, gimme one more shot an’ we’ll take a li’l breather, alright? Don’t want y’ gettin’ all shaky or nothin’.” She gestures toward the target with her head, then moves to let go so you can shoot on your own. “Pretend that target’s an enemy. Someone what came along t’ do us all harm an’ threaten the master. Y’ don’t ask questions, y’ protect the manor. Shoot ‘em.”

That’s intimidating, but not inaccurate. You don’t want your new life to slip away; you straighten up, take aim, and pull the trigger.

It isn’t long before you move on, with the next person giving you a lesson being BARD.

It seems his preferred method of dealing with intruders is also a gun, just like Mey Rin, although he shows very clearly that he also has a fondness for… well… explosives. He also tells you point-blank that he tends to use guns at closer range than Mey Rin does.

Which you’d lean toward, you don’t even know. All you know is that the recoil from shooting a close-up target is painful. This isn’t something you’d want to do unless your life literally did depend on it.

That said, the explosives aren’t much better. Bard’s gotten very good at controlling the resulting fires, so having you light and throw one toward a target isn’t a problem. The biggest problem is that your hands shake on the matches, leading you to nearly burn yourself.

“That’s alright,” he sighs as he throws water over the last of the embers. “You did jus’ fine, alright? You’re a better shot than you are usin’ fire. So we’ll jus’ make sure you always have a gun nearby.”

“I’m sorry…” You cradle your almost-burnt hand to your chest. “I… suppose it could be worse, right?”

He nods. “That’s right. You’re doin’ fine. C’mon, go take five minutes in the garden with Finny an’ you’ll come back with fresh eyes.”

Off you pop, then.

When you go in the garden to find FINNY and relax for a few minutes, he looks all too happy to see you. It’s as if he was expecting that you’d need a break by this point.

You plop down next to him beneath the tree he’s sitting under, and almost immediately he hands you a freshly picked apple right from one of the branches. He gives you a smile, but doesn’t say anything right away.

The two of you have a snack in silence, then he finally speaks up. “Gets a little intense, don’t it? You don’t gotta worry, though ― from what I seen, you’re doin’ great.”

“Thanks, Finny…” Your shoulders droop a little and you let out a breath. “I just wish it wasn’t so much work. I wish I was just strong, like you, so I wouldn’t have to learn all this.”

He shrugs. “You don’t wanna be strong like me. You’re perfect on your own. It’d be different work, learnin’ how t’ control it, anyway.”

After a moment, he grins at you. “After the break, though, I could show you how t’ distract an intruder. I mean, just ‘cause I don’t use a weapon don’t mean I ain’t got nothin’ t’ teach you!”

… As soon as you finish your apple, you decide to take him up on that.

Because Finny doesn’t want to take up too much of your time, he keeps his lesson short, and shuffles you off to SEBASTIAN shortly afterwards.

The butler is undoubtedly even more intimidating than Mey Rin was when she was teaching you. There isn’t a thing on this estate that escapes Sebastian’s notice unless Ciel specifically orders him to turn a blind eye to something.

That would be worrying enough. He clearly expects you to sharpen your perception the way that he does. He leads you on a veritable tour of the entire estate, attempting (and quite often succeeding) to catch you off guard with attacks that a real enemy would try to use.

If nothing else, like the rest of the staff, Sebastian does take care not to actually hurt you. Well… he bruises your ego a little bit.

“You must keep your eyes a bit more open,” he says, clicking his tongue once you just narrowly avoid falling into the last trap he’s set for you. “If I had been a genuine intruder who got in quietly, you may have fallen to me.”

Still, his face softens when that damned observation of his catches how exhausted you are. It’s obvious he knows how hard you’ve been working. “You have one more day of training ahead of you. For now, what you’ve done will suffice. Go relax, and early to bed with you, because you can be certain you’ll be early to rise tomorrow.”

With one last bow, you trudge down the hallway toward the stairs, intending to head up to the room Ciel has assigned to you near the rest of the servants’.

Before you can get that far, TANAKA stops you. Without so much as word (but with his usual easygoing smile), he ushers you toward the kitchen. You’re bone tired by now, so you follow without any comment.

Once there, he takes a cup from one of the counters and presses it gently into your hands. “Here we are. Something to end your day on a good note ― give you a little soothing after all the effort you’ve been putting in.”

It’s warm against your fingers, the temperature on its own already seeping into all your aches. “O-oh… thank you, Tanaka. I appreciate it… you didn’t have to.”

“No, but you’ll find that the Phantomhive household is rather all about doing things we don’t have to,” he chuckles. “Take the tea up to your room. I’ll be along toward the end of the night to collect it so you don’t need to worry.”

Before you leave, however, he presses something else into your hand: a small blade, concealed within the design of an intricate skeleton key and designed to be flicked open quickly. “And take this, as well. Just in case you happen not to have a gun in reach should something happen. We’re all very proud of you, (Name).”

You give him a brief hug before pocketing the knife and heading up toward your room.

As you open the door to slip inside, the very last thing Ciel said to you echoes in your mind.

You are a Phantomhive servant now, (Name). Never forget that.

You don’t think there’s any way you could.

[adachimoe]

Remarks from Persona Club P4 about the Midnight Channel and the TV world

On my previous post about the Club book, 2 of the things I mentioned were:

Compared to Persona 3, there are more silly shadows because the Midnight Channel is influenced by the people who watch it.

The design of the people on the ground on the floor of the staging area when you enter the TV world from Junes is the result of the main characters having murder on the brain when they first enter the TV.

As the book explains various locations inside of the TV, it becomes apparent that what we see inside of the TV is a formed on a mixture of both "the public's perceptions" and "the thoughts of people inside the TV". From my experience, there are a lot of fans who discuss Persona 4 who seem to believe that what shows up on the TV is influenced by people, but what is actually inside the TV is not influenced by people. Like the dungeons reflect the "real" victim.

The book just describes stuff like so:

The staging / landing area resembles a studio where TV shows are recorded because the public who watches the Midnight Channel are expecting some kind of television show to appear.

Teddie is able to provide you with a TV to exit back into the real world because a TV is something you'd expect to find in a TV studio.

Teddie's bear mascot appearance is a combination of Teddie's desire to be liked by people and also the thoughts of people watching the Midnight Channel.

Yukiko's Castle spawns from her thoughts about getting away from Inaba, the design is based on Neuschwanstein (as is every fictional castle), and it's European to counter the image of her being a Yamato Nadeshiko-type girl working at a traditional Japanese ryokan.

But then for Rise's Theater, it specifies that the public's expectations flowing in from the Midnight Channel play a part in the creation of her dungeon and why it's the way it is.

Yomotsu Hirasaka's design is very different from the other dungeons because it's not supposed to represent or be based on humans.

The Velvet Room, as know from the other games, is a special case and is different from the rest of the TV world. But the appearance of it is still actually shaped by the protagonist. In this case, the protag being anxious about the murder mystery case has turned the Velvet Room into a limousine which drives through the fog. That you can't see the driver makes you more anxious. Even if you were able to turn around and look at the driver's seat, it's unlikely there would be anyone there.

The appearance of the shadows is also based on the public who watch the Midnight Channel. The king-type shadow was influenced by people watching shows for children, the nyogo-type shadow (the tree wearing a kimono) was influenced by people who historical dramas tuning into the Midnight Channel, the mecha looking shadow comes from anime fans, etc.

For Adachi's dungeon, it's something he made to lure in and confuse the Investigation Team. The structure of the dungeon having two levels represents his thoughts. The red and black zig zaggy circle-y line pattern shows Amenosagiri leaking fog from the center.

The places in the TV world correspond to real life, kinda sorta. If you were to put another gigantic TV in the Junes electronics department and enter from there, you wouldn't wind up in the studio plaza, but you'd be fairly close to it. When you fight Amenosagiri on top of Magatsu Inaba, you can see the city beneath you, as if the TV world were layered on top of the real world.

My rambling corner:

The book doesn't talk about like, "Why don't the protag, Yosuke, Chie or Adachi auto-spawn dungeons when they go inside of the TV". Perhaps it's because of the 4 of them didn't appear on the Midnight Channel before going into the TV and didn't have some public perceptions that helped form dungeons beforehand? Or are the dungeons that form around the victims related to their own shock of being thrown in unexpectedly? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Or the "staging area" *is* the protag, Yosuke and Chie's collective dungeon.

The bit about the structure of Adachi's dungeon... It might sound like they mean "Magatsu Inaba and Magatsu Mandala are 2 separate things" (e.g. the journey and the destination), but when I read "二層", I think of a house having 2 stories. My take personally is that it refers to how when you progress further into the dungeon, you find Adachi on a "2nd story" of sorts up that's high in the sky. Like it reflects how he looks down on other people and also looks down on Inaba?

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Carving treasures out of wood after going on a wild goose chase over a what seems to be self-inflicted curse

Wood carving is actually kinda chill once you get the hang of it and stop worrying about accidentally cutting one of your fingers off. Sure, I’ll probably really need to smooth things out with sandpaper, but after several attempts, I’m finally satisfied with what I’m coming up with. After all, you shouldn’t expect to be able to get something right the first few times if it’s all completely new to you.

This venture into wood carving was kinda random in the sense that we didn’t plan for it, but it provided us a nice sort of distraction after the past couple days have been quite eventful. By that, I mean in a not so good way, the kind that sorta leaves you tired in an I’m done with this shit. And I was not the only one who felt that way.

I’ve learned over the years that solving a mystery or a dilemma isn’t always straightforward. Sure, it can be satisfying when you can finally address a nagging question or bring closure to something that’s haunted you for a long time. But more often than not, trying to get to the heart of a mystery or a problem often results in more questions, bringing in more uncertainty that can potentially lead to an unsatisfactory resolution.

Sometimes it’s best to leave things alone, especially when it’s not in your place to get involved. Trouble comes to those who don’t know when to stay in their own lane. For me though, I don’t find it an issue - I know when to back out. But for some, they’re too busy poking and prodding that they don’t realize the disturbance they’ve caused - and that’s obviously not a good thing. In other words, it’s easier said than done when it comes to minding your own business.

We originally just came here to collect wood gyroids, and since the woods isn’t too far from the consultation office, I invited the gang - Taiki, Nene, Batt, Emmanuelle, Mikayla, Satoshi, Scotch, Haru, as well as Aileen and Kira - to join in on the fun. The kids especially enjoyed running around looking for gyroids.

What was supposed to be a chill get together turned out to be something else - not that it took away from the good, just an unexpected detour that maybe we could’ve done without. then again, work is work, and with exorcism jobs few and far between, they weren’t really in a position to turn it down, even if they had misgivings about the job. To be clear, it’s not like they’re struggling - the exorcism gig is basically a side freelance thing for them, if that makes sense - but since they’re the only exorcists in this area who happen to be very well versed and serious about what they do, if something of the sort comes up, they can’t afford to not address it.

Basically, when it comes to the supernatural, like cursed spirits, there’s a lot of unknown factors at play, so you want to be 100% certain if stuff like that is involved, If left to its own devices, a cursed spirit can really wreak havoc on its surroundings and mess with people’s minds, even cause mass destruction if it’s powerful enough. Exorcism’s a dangerous field, which is why there’s not many of them, and it’s even more unusual to find a small group of them working together who aren’t related by blood.

So we were in the middle of a break from collecting gyroids when Taiki, who was on call, received a message. We were gonna head back to the office anyway and that was where we met the client. Her name was Tibby, and right off the bat it was clear that she was loaded when she just handed Taiki a stack of bills like it was nothing. Of course, to the exorcists, it’s not unusual for someone to throw money at them when they’re desperate. She seemed pretty serious, so he decided to take her in for further questioning.

And so the story goes like this. A few months ago, Tibby’s partner’s sister died from ingesting poison, presumably by suicide. As far as anyone knows, Alix was not the kind of person who would willingly end her life like that. She was said to be a well respected and successful woman who has it all. However, she had a difficult relationship with her half-sister Isidora, which is why the family pins the blame on her for Alix’s death. Along with the harassment, Tibby said that Isidora has also been plagued by nightmares, leading to her believing that she’s cursed by her sister.

Since Taiki and Mikayla were on call, they took on the case and asked if any of us wanted to tag along as assistants, so Nene, Haru, and I joined in. The others headed back to Scotch and Satoshi’s house since we got a pretty nice haul of gyroids thanks to the girls. I’m glad they had such a great time playing outside, especially after being cooped up inside because of the rainy season.

Just like Tibby said, Isidora was in a terrible state, huddled up in a corner and muttering incomprehensibly. At a glance, you could say that maybe she’s under some curse, but if not, it’s obvious that something’s very wrong. Seeing her was unsettling, to put it simply - though that was probably the least concerning thing going on compared to what we later uncovered. In short, she was not under some sort of curse or possession, at least not an actual one caused by Alix herself.

As soon as Taiki and Nene began questioning the family, we had a feeling that something was off. It’s not that they were exactly flat out lying to us, it’s more like they’ve deceived themselves so much that they won’t know the truth if it hit them in the face sort of thing. How sad it is to craft such lies that are so ingrained into you that anyone who dares challenges them is seen as a threat. Sure, the ugly truth may be hard to accept, but there should be limits as to how much you can play ignorance, especially when the whole picture has been rotten to the core to begin with.

In the family’s view, it’s “Poor Alix was driven to her death by the cruel and heartless Isidora.” The way they paint Alix as some poor helpless victim, a saint who could do no wrong and yet a tortured soul too fragile for this harsh world we live in - that alone is disturbing, almost to the point of absurdity. To put it respectfully, it was like watching a terrible soap opera, like from start to finish rather than hearing bits and pieces and leaving the rest to imagination. I wouldn’t say predictable, but it’s easy to have an idea of which direction things are gonna go. Kinda like witnessing some online discourse happening that you really couldn’t care less about but you’re somehow invested in watching both sides go up in flames.

I mean, according to them, Alix committed suicide because she was fed up with Isidora’s failures, which doesn’t sound like a lot to go on. Alix seemed to have it all, wealth, power, popularity, charm, charisma, beauty, intelligence - she sounded like an infuriatingly perfect person, almost too perfect. Meanwhile, Isidora was almost the opposite in terms of luck and success, having been described as intelligent and possessing great beauty, but lacks ambition and direction, making her a constant source of frustration towards her family. In other words, they saw her as a failure and an embarrassment - the perfect scapegoat to explain away anything that goes wrong.

Not surprisingly, outside of the family, they’re conflicting views on what exactly the kind of person Alix was. She had many who idolized her, seeing her death as tragic because she could do no wrong, and she had those who saw her as a tyrant, a conniving, manipulative bitch who knows how to play the victim turn things towards her favor. The truth that no one wanted to admit was that she made her way up to the top by stepping on everyone else, using everyone and everything she saw as an obstacle to her convenience to bring in a false sense of security.

Basically, she wasn’t above using suicide baiting tactics to manipulate someone to coerce them. One of her former colleagues asked to meet in private so she could open up about what happened, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. Alix saw her as a threat and bullied her to the point that she threatened suicide by drinking poison, setting it up in such a way that made it look like murder. Not only Alix was conniving, but she also had the resources to be able to pull such a scheme like that, and considering how much power and influence she had, the other person had no choice but to comply to her terms unless she wanted to bring ruin to herself and those around her.

Yikes. No one should have that much power over another. Such a blatant example of abuse of authority - not just by Alix alone, but also by those around her who let something like this happen. And of course, she wasn’t raised in a vacuum, the fact that she was able to get away with manipulating people like that means that those around her not only found that behavior acceptable, they most likely encouraged it because that’s how they got into those positions themselves.

Now we know why Alix took the poison that ultimately killed her. She pulled that same stunt with Isidora in an attempt to get her to cut ties with Tibby and work under her. The reason, I feel like that’s one of those things where we’re like, we don’t have time to unpack all that. Could easily be them making a big deal out of nothing, or there could be more to it - doesn’t matter, it has nothing to do with the case. If anything, I think it’s a ridiculously stupid thing to get riled up about, so I’m pretty sure it’s one of those flimsy reasons they latch on to just so they can justify their hate.

The reason why Alix was harassing Isidora was over a fucking web novel that she and Tibby were writing together. Apparently, the reason why the family was clutching their pearls over it is because it’s a slice-of-life historical drama that takes place in a pleasure district with the main character working in a brothel. From a quick search, there’s nothing controversial about the novel, though there are issues with the tone as Tibby leans more into slice-of-life while Isidora leans towards the drama, resulting in what most call a tone-deaf mess. But other than that, it’s an average web novel that is doing fairly well - not groundbreaking or anything, just light entertainment.

I skimmed through a couple chapters out of curiosity and it was all right, nothing worth noting, and definitely nothing worth getting mad about. I’d get it if it’s like some overly sexualized bullshit or some other gross porno stuff, but it really seems like Alix and the family saw the words pleasure district and courtesans and automatically assumed the worst. Like, there’s literally nothing wrong with writing fiction about courtesans as long as it’s not offensive - the same could be said for all kinds of subjects that are considered dark or taboo, really.

Again, it’s basically stupid online discourse, except it’s happening offline and not as funny.

Said web novel that I honestly can’t be bothered to remember the name of because it’s ridiculously long ended up getting a publishing deal thanks to Tibby. Like I said earlier, she is loaded - in other words, she and Isidora have been living off that money. As to whether a story like that is worth publishing material is questionable. I mean, a lot of light novels started off as web novels, so obviously the light novel version is likely going to be more polished, and probably more detailed, but it does leave me wondering how much different the light novel version will be. I mean, it’ll probably take a lot of extra work - basically a drastic revamp, in my opinion - to bring the web novel to publishing standards - meaning something people will actually pay to read.

And so Alix threatened to kill herself in order to stop Isidora from publishing the novel, which is such a stupid thing to do. It was the same stunt she pulled with her former colleague, drinking poison and just pushing Isidora into a difficult position like she had always done - except she went a bit too far this time. A couple weeks earlier, Alix used that same poison on Tibby - attempted murder - except her plan was thwarted by Isidora. Of course, the family denied that ever happened, so we only have Tibby’s word to go off on. It’s clear that they don’t like each other - but that’s a whole ‘nother tangent that’s also irrelevant.

In conclusion, Alix’s hubris is what killed her. She thought she could have it her way again, manipulating Isidora like she always did. And she went as far as to actually drink the damn poison to prove her point if we were to believe that she really did poison Tibby. However, Isidora refused to comply, so maybe Alix got annoyed and took another dose of the poison to really hammer it in, only to be ignored once again. A stupidly fatal move indeed.

While Isidora is indeed the victim in all of this, she’s not entirely innocent either. Again, it’s not relevant to the case, so it’s none of our business, but it looks like she’s also good at playing the victim game and using people when it’s convenient for her. The family was actually in the right to be skeptical about Isidora and Tibby’s relationship, just for the wrong reasons. To put it simply, there seems to be some toxic co-dependency on both sides, even more so now that Isidora’s incapacitated by her demons.

Of course, that’s not what Taiki and Mikayla told Tibby, not when she and Isidora insisted that Alix was cursing them. They’re used to dealing with clients like that, so they’re able to improvise. Usually the reason why they put on a show is to give people some peace of mind, but in this case it’s to appease the masses, which didn’t really take much effort. Whatever happens after, it’s out of our hands, and honestly, I could care less.

Mikayla felt bad over how things ended, especially since she wanted me to see her in action, as in actually helping people. I don’t hold it against her - there’s no way of knowing how things will turn out. I’ve heard that she and Taiki aren’t on good terms with their family, so it’s understandable why the whole thing was getting to them, especially the whole “it’s for their own good” shtick that some people like to throw around to justify mistreating someone. They only care about you when it’s convenient for them and have no problems deserting you when you can’t give them what they want.

Still, it was nice seeing her and Taiki in action, as well as Nene and Haru working together as assistants, so I don’t think it was an entire waste. The reason why they set up this consultation office is to help people and dealing with a few bad apples won’t stop them. The world is thankfully not full of people like Alix because that would be a disaster.

Nothing like getting into wood carvings and journaling your thoughts out to unwind and feel like yourself again.

Read on AO3

[jessilynallendilla]

SHE RA AND THE PRINCESSES OF POWER FIC REC

TITLE/LINK COMPLETED-WORD-COUNT SERIES

let me know if the links aren't working and feel free to suggest any

Genetic Composite  T 119,127 SERIES 

Before Catra returned from the Crimson Wastes, Entrapta was working on a more permanent solution to fixing Hordak's problem. But then the whole portal debacle happened and in all the confusion, the experiment was left unattended. 

Have Time Now  T 2,695 SERIES 

Consciousness returns to him all too quickly. Immediately his systems begin to wake and he is swamped by a diagnostic feed. Calibration of new hardware. Old hardware updating its status. He puts the feed to the back of his reality and takes stock of his surroundings. Some sort of lab, stone walls, robots and other electronics. He's been here before. Only a couple of times but he has been here. They lost the war, but enacted a plan to survive it together. 

Keep One Eye Open  T 4,031 SERIES 

Entrapta tended to push her body to the limits. For years, she had fallen asleep in her lab without anyone noticing. However, her new lab partner was not pleased with the princess' disregard for her own mental health. The time they spend together forces the supreme leader to suppressed feelings. The beginning of an unlikely romance 

Accidents In The Workplace  G 1,305 SERIES 

Hordak and Entrapta have been growing closer since they became lab partners. Their latest test run of the portal proves to be riddled with potential accidents and causes a few unlikely but not unwelcome accidents to follow afterwards. 

Ill Will  G 1,381 SERIES 

After his defeat by the Horde, King Micah is brought before Hordak. 

The King Of Loneliness  T 16,017 

Choices made in one of Entrapta's many ethical dilemmas yields unexpected results. She had only expected to use the Horde for her own ends in regards to making advancements in science. She did not expect to gain a standing in the court of the overlord who ruled her new home with an iron fist. The more she got to know him, the more she found everything about Hordak fascinating. Hordak, for his part of it, never expected a magically-endowed "little princess" of a backwater planet to be so knowledgeable and open-minded. In fact, she knew more than he did about many things, though he wasn't open to admitting it. The journey of two people who find that they need one another in unexpected ways 

Oh Well, I Suppose  G 11,567  

"Hordak! I accidentally released one of those clone thingies!" 

Our favorite lab partners suddenly find themselves preparing for the arrival of a new baby- sorta. 

Tremble Before Her  G 8,734 

With both their commanding officers gone, the remnants of Catra's old squad find themselves turning to an unlikely ally: Entrapta. Entrapta doesn't understand much about the rumours which now follow her (they are numerous and explicit) or the power structure of the Horde (which she's openly flaunting) but she'll never turn down a chance to make some useful friends. 

Farewell.  T 1,179 

Hordak meets Entrapta one last time, before he is excuted for his crimes. 

Fearless  G 1,931 

It was not a stretch to say that Hordak was completely baffled the first time he met someone who was not afraid of him 

Reconstructing A Lab Partner  T 2,171 

Hordak's ship fell upon Etheria decades ago. None have been inside until now. Entrapta is excited to explore this bizarre sky vessel, and finds a new project laying mostly dead in a lab within. 

God Save The Queen  T 440 

The Horde doesn't get a lot of good gossip and most of the time it's too terrified to share it. Sometimes, however, the instinctive need to dish becomes too great. 

Heir To The Horde  T 

two years after the fall of hordak peace is had between the princesses and the kingdoms those thought lost are returned and progress is being made but a unexpected surprise that entrapta has been hiding is finally revealed as well a darkness that has been disturbed plots for its return 

Memory  M 

Hordak is the leader of the Horde, and his plan to dominate Etheria is going successfully. So successfully, in fact, one might say that it is going along perfectly. Though there is something missing, something not quite right in this world, and as much as he wants to conquer it, it might be Etheria that ends up conquering him. With every second counting, will he have enough time? 

This Child Needs A Mother  T 

Angella takes it upon herself to care for the severely injured Adora after a major battle. Adora struggles to open up to the Queen's care. Meanwhile Angella discovers the severe amount of mental trauma Adora has from what the Horde has done to her. 

[dongfuck]

Do Good, Look Good, Feel Good - l.dh

pairing: history tutor!haechan x fem reader

genre: smut

warnings: pwp/porn without plot, use of both haechan and donghyuck, use of princess, switch haechan, grinding, thigh fucking (sorta?), edging (purposely), slight panty stuffing, fingering, oral (f), overstimulating, dry humping if you squint, cliffhanger typa fic (it’s my signature okay)

wc: 2.2k

note: he looks so sexy in the teaser pics i just couldn’t help myself. also, this is not my best work so lmk if i made any mistakes!

he looks so good… what is he even so dressed up for? is he going to a party?

you were trying your absolute best to focus on the subject donghyuck was teaching but every time you even glanced up at his face, you felt another shock of warmth streak up to your body. specifically your centre.

“and i think we’re done for today. any questions?” he looked up from the book that was in his hold just so his eyes could meet yours. “er… n—no i think i’m good.” you smiled. “great! then i’d like to ask you a few questions.” the smirk on his perfectly sculpted face was subtle but that didn’t mean you failed to notice it. he’s doing this on purpose isn’t he?

“i’m open.” in more ways than one.

“what happened on the 14th of October 1066 according to British history?” that’s when your jaw slacked. how were you supposed to know that? he didn’t teach you anything about that! “excuse me mr. lee, but how you expect me to know? you didn’t teach me anything regarding that topic.” there was a scoff coming from the boy in front of you, which you thought was utterly rude of him. “y/n, everyone knows the answer. and i didn’t teach you that because it’s basic knowledge.” shrugged donghyuck.

it was your turn to scoff this time. is he calling you dumb right now? “what’s that supposed to m—”

“next question. which year was the Great Fire of London in?” his head was tilted, he had his arms crossed and eyes sharp. he’d almost look intimidating if it wasn’t for the fact that your core had a thing for him. “easy. 1566.” you laid back against your chair with a smug smile evident on your face. “wrong. 1666. last question—”

no, it wasn’t you that cut him off. instead, it was donghyuck himself. he stopped in the middle of his sentence just to lean closer to you. though, it wasn’t close enough because of the table separating you two. “you think i’m hot don’t you?” now this. this was a question you could easily answer but was it easy to voice it out? you couldn’t just tell him “yeah, i think you’re super hot and i wanna fuck you right here, right now.”

he looked slightly taken aback by your statement when it left your mouth, didn’t last for long though. “wow, i didn’t know you were that honest, y/n.” haechan had his hands on his thighs, rubbing them up and down before motioning for you to scoot over to his side. wait— did you just say it out loud?

the moment your thighs met his, he manhandled you onto his lap before whispering closely to your ear, “i think you’re super hot too.” there was a heated silence engulfing you two. what’s going to happen now? should you just pull back and kiss him? yeah, that probably sounds like a good idea…

and yup. you did it. you followed what your heart told you to do and there you were. parted lips on his when you suddenly felt a pair of cold fingers gripping your covered hip. returning the favour, you wrapped your arms around his neck as you instinctively pulled him closer. all while deepening the kiss.

a few minutes had passed and none of you showed signs of stopping. although, as we all know, haechan is a bit eager which resulted in you ending up on your sofa (favourite sofa to be specific) with him on top of you.

grateful to have asked your roommate to sleep at her boyfriend’s for the night, you gently tugged at the hem of the other’s loose navy coloured tee. you took sight of the small smirk that danced of his pouty lips, making a mental note to smack it off his face after you were done. he gave you one last peck on your lips before swiftly removing all of his visible clothing— his boxers the only garment left. he probably noticed the way you weren’t moving a muscle and instead decide to stare at him shamelessly when he spoke again. “play fair.” he urged for you to do the same with his eyes furrowed.

“no thank you. why don’t you help yourself.” you didn’t know what you meant by that. were you asking him to undress you or did you want him to fuck himself on you? judging by his actions, you assumed he took the latter into mind.

he started off slow with his hands groping your bare thigh, lifting your sundress up to reveal your already soaking heated core. you saw the way his adam apple bobbed up and down when he noticed how wet you were. raising a hand up to run it through his delicate hair. “it’s okay.” and that was all it took for him to finally grind his clothed member on yours, a long needy whine eliciting from the depths of his throat. he threw his head back at the feeling of your hand gripping his hair mixed with your centres meeting.

speeding things up, haechan pulled away for a split second to remove his boxers before joining you on the sofa again. but this time, on his knees. “please let me fuck you…” oh the way he sounded so submissive and innocent had you weak in the knees. but despite his pleads, you decide to stick to your original plan and either have him fuck your thighs or beg for your cunt. “sorry baby, but you’re on your own for the time being.” his brows furrowed at your statement, causing you to roll your eyes softly at his antics. “what—”

“thighs or beg.”

he seemed pretty surprised at your words. i mean the girl from class three who gets labeled as ‘innocent’ by almost everyone is making you choose between taking her thighs or begging. surely haechan’s too cocky to even think about the latter. which turned out to be right. he hesitantly lifted your legs up as he placed his cock between them. gulping for the second time today, he slowly began thrusting into them. eyes turning wide at the feeling of your thighs closing in on him. this wasn’t such a bad idea after all, he thought. donghyuck had his eyes sealed, the therapeutic experience finally got the best of him.

you admired how pretty he looked in that position. smiling to yourself when the thought of you once and for all getting to fuck the pretty boy from your class whom everyone seems to drool over. even the teachers. while you were busy thinking about how you were so going to brag this to your friends (if donghyuck was comfortable with it), the boy on the opposite side of you started to speed up his movements, sofa suddenly becoming all too small for the both of you.

and then it hit you. the way his breaths began turning ragged, his arms that held you up groped tighter, his thrusts almost becoming overwhelming, his sweat dripping onto your breasts— he was close. the dots matched. your mind told you to help him release himself but your heart wanted nothing else but for you to push him away. and you know what they say, always follow your heart. and so you did. flattening your legs onto the rough material under you, you watched the way his precum dripped onto your pussy. smiling deliriously when you saw how red his tip was.

“shit— what’d you do that for?” he spoke with much rage but when you’re in this position, nothing he does scares you anymore. especially when you know you have the upper hand. “what? i was just—” scratch that, you spoke too soon. you spoke too. fucking. soon.

just a minute ago you were proud of yourself for finally getting to dom someone but now, now all of your dirty fantasies is just… gone. in only a matter of seconds, donghyuck had you with your back to his face. running his fingers under your dress as his other hand went to stroke your face softly from behind. “i’m gonna fuck this hole soon. very soon.” he thumbed you through your silk panties, pushing the fabric into you swiftly. “just fuck me already.” now when did you get all needy? “weren’t you all ‘thighs or beg’ barely five minutes ago?” laughed haechan mockingly. how dare he laugh at you when you’re here looking as miserable as ever. “don’t get too ahead of yourself princess. it’s my turn to have some fun.”

you weren’t expecting anything honestly, but what surprised you was when he flipped you over once again and pulled down your underwear before skilfully started to eat you out. they were so fucking right… he is good with his mouth. he licked a long stripe from your core until his tongue gently brushed your clit. whining in response, you gripped onto the armrest behind you before digging the back of your head into it as well. he merely did anything yet and you were already squirming for him. you assume it’s because of you being extremely touch deprived but at this point, it’s getting overwhelming. in a good way though.

haechan took note of the way your legs began shaking when he nibbled on your clit, taking that as a green light to keep going. lust-filled eyes locked with yours from underneath, smiling smugly against your entrance when he felt your hands tugging at his locks.

you were in your own world with haechan as the main character. tongue working wonders on your throbbing cunt while you clench around nothing. so ready to be filled with his cock and wanted nothing more than that… at the moment that is. you were still gonna go back to practically ignoring him whenever you crossed paths in hallways but for now, for now you just wanted to enjoy the blissful and euphoric feeling that the mentioned boy is giving you.

you were snapped out of your trance when you felt a tight knot starting to form in your lower stomach. right above where donghyuck was busy serving you heaven. you’re about to inform him about your upcoming orgasm when out of the blue, you were reminded of how you totally pissed him off just a few minutes ago. which also reminded you of how arrogant and revengeful donghyuck was.

deciding that not telling him was the best option, you opted to let out a strangled moan in order to hide your frenzy… but it was all ruined when your tutor began working his fingers into your leaking hole. he was hell-bent on overstimulating you and you knew.

your legs began to tremble at his gestures, releasing a shaky whine that sounded like music to donghyuck’s ears. although, it didn’t seem like he was pleased enough with your reactions which resulted to him moving his fingers in and out of you at a faster pace. the knot inside you almost bursting into hot liquid. “donghyuck—” there was a sound of a grunt coming from him and that exact grunt was the one that sent vibrations all over your pussy.

“are you close?” he hovered his lips over your clit by half an inch to look up at you but his hands didn’t seem like they were gonna stop. “y—yes fuck yes…” once and for all getting confirmation from you, he went back to whatever he was doing previously but this time, he raised his free hand just to have them land on your boobs that were already spilling out from the top on the dress. it was all starting to become too much for you. from his mouth on your centre and fingers plunged into you to his left hand massaging your swollen breasts— you couldn’t take it anymore.

and that was all it took for you to finally snap and cum right on his tongue that was lapping up your hole subconsciously.

“shit, you came…” he moaned into your core, slurping up the remains of your orgasm until you were completely dry. all this while, you hadn’t notice how he had his lower half screwed to the sofa. cock maddening red at the lack of touch. after finally calmed down from your high, you cleared your throat and dropped your knees to the ground before staring up at him like he was the most precious thing in world. “do you want me to help you?”

[the-ferocious-kittyrose]

Canon Fnaf lore? I don’t know her. Anyways here’s my insane ramblings about William Afton’s backstory and motives.

William Afton didn’t have the best upbringing. His dad saw some fucked up shit fighting in WW2 and didn’t come back quite the same, he wasn’t awful, just distant and drunk. His mom had been dealing with intense depressive episodes for years, and with trauma of losing family in the war and her husband shutting her out, she tragically committed suicide. Young William dealt with this by simply not dealing with it and buried down any negative emotions he may have until it became a searing white core of pure rage that would occasionally explode on people that didn’t really deserve it.

In school, William did extremely well in his classes, and extremely poor in his social life. He was very charismatic and animated but but his peers often found him strange and unsettling, so he struggled to form any real friendships. Until he meet Henry Emily in college. Henry was very laidback, kind, and extremely social. William was jealous of him at first. He both envied and admired how Henry could charm anyone, including William himself. Henry was impressed by how smart William was and appreciated his childish and occasionally morbid sense of humor. They bonded over a shared interest in robotics and music. They spent many drunken nights improvising stupid songs in cartoony voices, William strumming a guitar and Henry singing into a beer bottle microphone. They got the idea to open “Fredbear’s Family Dinner” while at a county fair, when they saw a guy in a cheep pig costume trip over a child.

William’s affection for Henry slowly morphed into something unhealthy. Henry was the first person William connected with on an emotional level. He was happy with Henry. They were real friends. They loved each other. And William was addicted to that love. Henry became his soul source of emotional fulfillment and he was terrified of loosing him. He would get jealous and bitter whenever Henry would hanging out with a new friend/girlfriend, even subtly trying to drive them away or sabotage the relationship. Henry knew that William loved him (probably more than most men love their platonic friends) and that William would get jealous over him, but he just chalked it up to William being lonely, and reminded oblivious to the true extent of the issue.

William got married mostly out of societal obligation. It’s not that he disliked his wife, Laura was friendly, pretty, supportive, everything a wife should be, it’s just that he never really wanted a wife. He had never connected with anyone he had tried to date, and realized pretty quick he had to sorta “fake it till you make it” when it came to romantic/sexual relationships with women. The idea of having to “fake it” for years wasn’t very appealing, but he recognized it was something he had to do to fit in amongst his peers. He would play the role of the loving bread winning husband, doing everything a husband is supposed to do to keep up the image, but emotionally he just wasn’t into it. This sucked for Laura of course, who felt emotionally neglected in their marriage. She thought that having children would bring them closer, and while it briefly succeeded in getting her more attention, things always went back to normal soon after.

William’s relationship with his oldest son, Michael, was complicated. He had never wanted children, and while he cared about his son, it was more so as an extension of himself rather than as his own individual. (Did how I phrased that make any sense???) He wanted Michael to be an idealized version of himself and would get frustrated when he didn’t meet that expectation. He also kinda missed the memo that parents are supposed to spend time with their kids. William was a workaholic and would have months long periods where he would completely lose himself in his work, completely blind to the world around him. As a result, Michael would act out at home and at school to get attention, because any attention was good attention. William did not have the patience to deal with with Michael’s nonsense, and was getting angrier and angrier about his sons embarrassing misbehavior. Laura tried explaining he just wanted attention, but he still didn’t get it. The kid had wealthy parents, friends, toys, video games, he had so much more than William had as a kid, so what more could he possibly want?

William had a much better relationship with his next child, Elizabeth. Laura had demanded he be more involved this time around because she was not going to be raising two kids by herself. He offered to hire a live in nanny to help her out and she threw a toaster at him. He was dreading another Michael, but he was pleasantly surprised. Elizabeth was much better behaved, she had an attitude, but her smart mouth was more funny than anything. She was also a huge daddy’s girl. She always wanted to be attached at his hip when he was home, William found it annoying at first, but as time past he grew to genuinely enjoy her company. He had always heard people talk about parental love, and he was always pretty sure people were exaggerating about it, especially after having his first kid, but now he was starting to get it. He would spoil her rotten.

Tragically, her life was cut short. William had decided to open his own separate company “Funtime Toys and Animatronics.” At the grand opening, something went wrong with the wiring and the factory caught fire. The building was evacuated, but Elizabeth had wandered away to admire the animatronics/toys and got left behind. As William was standing outside, watching millions of dollars go up in flames, Laura came up to him with the boys. He asked her where Elizabeth was and she said she thought she was with him. They searched the crowd but they couldn’t find her. Slowly they accepted the horrifying truth, she was still in the building. It was a tragic event for the whole family, but it really hit William in a strange way. He had dealt with death and grief before, but it was different this time and he didn’t know why. The whole situation brought back unpleasant memories of his mother’s death, except this time It was much harder for him to just bury it down, especially because everybody in town knew about it and wouldn’t leave him alone. He took to drinking and drug use to cope with the situation. He also started spending more of his free time with Henry to make himself feel better.

William’s youngest son Evan had a rough life. He was born shorty before his sister died, and if that wasn’t bad enough, he had several health and developmental issues that made his life infinitely more difficult. After Elizabeth’s death, William became very paranoid, and controlling. He installed cameras everywhere and gave his kids little to no privacy. He was still busy at work or otherwise out of the house most of the time, but he would monitor everything going on in the house through the cams. The kids never knew when they were being watched. Evan developed severe anxiety and was bullied because of it. William was aware that Even was being bullied (mostly by his brother) and he would stop it when he could but he was sorta pre occupied with work and his own declining mental health. It didn’t help that Evan was kinda scared of him (as well as most people), and didn’t like talking to him about sensitive stuff. William would mostly talk to Evan through the speakers in his toys.

Evan’s death was horrific. His head was crushed like a watermelon under a hydraulic press. William had been outside smoking with Henry when it happened. They went back inside when they heard the commotion and William was confronted with the image of his youngest son, practically headless, laying in a pool of blood and brain matter. Michael was ghostly pale as William screamed in his face, “WHAT DID YOU DO!? WHAT DID YOU DO!?” He threw Michael to the side and knelt to examine Even’s body. He was dead. There was no question. William was feeling a lot of things, none of them good. He was breathing heavy and raked his bloody fingers through his hair as his ragged breath turned to deep deranged laughter. He turned to Michael, blood dripping from his face and hands, and began laughing hysterically, wildly gesturing and pointing in his direction, as Michael backed away, quietly sobbing that he was sorry. William’s drinking and drug use got worse from that point on. He became a bitter shell of the man he once was. Two of his children were dead and his passion project he built with his best friend was being shut down.

Michael was not having a good time. First he had a dad that was always disappointed in him, then his little sister comes along and gets treated like a little princess, then his sister fucking dies and their dad becomes a crazy controlling alcoholic who won’t let you take a shit in peace. He had a lot of pent up anger, and he took it out on his little brother more often than not, but he had never meant for it to end up the way it did. And now, his life was literal Hell. If nearly being charged with manslaughter wasn’t bad enough, his father hated his guts. He would hardly ever talk to him except to yell at him or to deliver bitter accusatory remarks. William was completely delusional by this point. Not only did he blame Michael for Evan’s death and Fredbear’s closing, but he had also convinced himself that Michael was also responsible for Elizabeth’s death. It made no sense but William had it in his head that he had killed her out of jealousy. One night, Michael was laying in bed trying to fall asleep when he heard his bedroom door creak open. He laid still, pretending to be asleep as footsteps approached him from across the room. He felt a presence standing over him, staring at him. His eyes were closed but he knew he was being watched, and he was overcome with a feeling of pure dread. The figure stood over him for what felt like hours as he was frozen in fear, sure he was about to die. Finally, he heard quick footsteps exiting the room and the door closing behind them. Michael was always intimidated by his father, but now he was terrified of him.

William’s relationship with Henry was on the rocks. Henry noticed William’s declining mental health and self destructive tendencies after Elizabeth’s death. It wasn’t pretty, but he loved him, and he knew he had to be there for his friend in his time of need. But things didn’t get any better. In fact, they just got worse. William was borderline unrecognizable after Even’s death. He went from clingy to a full on stalker. It was starting to freak Henry out, as well as his young daughter Charlie. The final straw for Henry was when he was at William’s house and witnessed him having a violent meltdown where he blew up at Michael over seemingly nothing and yelled that he wanted him dead while swinging a kitchen knife around like a mad man. Henry managed to get the knife from him and calm him down, but he was horrified by the encounter. The next time William came over to his house, Henry refused to let him in. He let him know, in no uncertain terms, that their friendship/partnership was over. William freaked the fuck out. He was panicking, banging on the door begging Henry to let him in. He switched rapidly between sobbing and begging for forgiveness, and furiously yelling obscenities and threats, throwing potted plants at the door in anger. William felt betrayed and abandoned. He believed that since he was in pain, he was automatically entitled to his friend’s sympathy and comfort, and he was furious that that wasn’t the case.

William went on a bender that night, aimlessly driving drunk through the rain. He couldn’t tell you why but he drove to “Freddy Fazzbear’s Pizza.” He didn’t plan it. He didn’t know that Charlie was there. He didn’t know that Charlie had gotten locked outside. It was a spur of the moment thing. Charlie recognized his car and turned to look at him as he stepped out. She could smell the alcohol through the rain, his hair was unruly and his eyes were red and glossed over, almost lifeless. She became frightened as he hobbled towards her, struggling to walk upright and using his car for support. She tried to back away, tried to turn and run when he reached for her, but he was too fast. He lunged forward and grabbed her by the throat, squeezing until her body went limp. Henry had abandoned him. He didn’t want to kill Henry, he wanted to hurt him, so he inflicted his own pain onto him.

Charlie’s body was found a little over an hour later. Henry felt the world cave in around him. He knew William had done it. The man who had been his best friend for years, someone he trusted, someone he loved, had just murdered his little girl. He strangled her and left her body out in the rain with the dirty trash and garbage cans. He was seeing red as he drove to William’s house in the early hours of the morning. He was pounding on the door demanding to be let in. When Laura opened it he stormed past her, slamming her into a wall. He went on a rampage through the house, practically tearing up the floor boards looking for William. When it became obvious that he wasn’t there, Henry broke down crying, apologizing to Laura and Michael, who looked on terrified. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

William was on the run. He drove for hours before stopping. His life was over. Now that Henry was gone, he had nothing left. He looked down at his hands, covered in tiny red scratch marks, reminding him of what he’d done, of what he was now. He had always had violent thoughts and disturbing daydreams, but he had always repressed them as best he could. It had gotten harder over the years, but he still struggled. He didn’t want to be a murderer, but he was now. He had killed a child. What he’d done was unforgivable, and there was no coming back. But now that he had lost everything, he had nothing left to loose.

(You know what happens next. If you want me to continue, let me know.)

[cassifiction]

Sevika with a chubby fem reader please 👉👈 nsfw if you're okay with that, if not sfw is just as good!

I’ll do both a bit of sfw and nsfw for this one! Also since @slutforsev requested something akin to “just read my username, that’s the request”, you’re all getting a bit of nsfw today. This’ll be a bit simpler and shorter than usual, I’m feeling a bit unwell and I’m terribly tired but I still wanted to write, just because I can. I’m stubborn like that. Shoutout to everyone who’s chubby or fat, ilu <3

Send me requests!

Sevika x chubby fem reader

nsfw below the cut. Reader has boobs, genitals sorta unspecified.

-> next request: Jinx x nerdy mage s/o (sfw)

Sevika is the kind of person who doesn’t take weight into consideration when she notices that she’s feeling attracted to someone. Neither skinny nor fat is a deciding factor to her.

That said, she definitely actively enjoys that you’re a bit more on the chubby side.

She loves having you close, anytime she can she’ll have an arm around your waist or around your hips, hand resting on the side of your thigh. Sometimes she’ll give you a light squeeze just to feel you a little closer and to make sure you’re still paying attention to her.

If anyone dares to make fun of you for your weight, they’ll regret it. Noone is allowed to talk about you like that.

In public, Sevika isn’t much of a hugger. She’s afraid it’ll end up making her look weak to the people around her, who expect her to be strong at all times. But in private, she absolutely loves to hug you as much as she can.

Tight hugs from behind while you’re in the kitchen, quick side hugs when she’s in a hurry and of course the classic big bear hug from the front. Bury your head in her neck and she’ll melt in your arms.

She'd tell you how much she loves how soft you feel in her arms. She never knew hugs could feel this good.

Don’t forget couch cuddles and cuddles in bed. Even when things aren’t getting spicy, she’ll have her hands all over you. She prefers to hold you with her non-metal arm, but she’ll often have the metal one around you too just so she can hold you a little closer.

If she’s really tired or just in need of some comfort she’ll ask if she can use your thighs as a pillow, which you of course don’t object to. She’ll lay her head in your lap and close her eyes as you comb your fingers through her hair and let her rant about her day if she wants to, but you’re just as happy to sit in comfortable silence together.

nsfw below

So your thighs are not just Sevika’s favorite place to rest her head after a long day. It’s also where she’ll get right back to work.

Her favorite place to be is between your thighs, her head squeezed in between them. She absolutely loves the dirty noises you make as she’s going down on you like that.

Loves to grab and squeeze you just about everywhere as she does. Her hands will be all over your ass, boobs and hips and she’ll tell you all about how good you feel.

If her head is not in between your legs you can bet she’s kissing you all over. Loves to go up from your legs to your belly, up to your boobs and neck. She’ll pull you into a deep kiss and work her way back down for another round.

She also loves to have you in her lap while she uses her hands to get you off. The metal hand is kind of scary when she does that, but the added bit of danger is also kind of hot.

Genuinely surprised to learn that that stretch marks are considered to be ugly by some. She has noticed them on you of course, but she liked them just as much as the rest of you. What, they’re supposed to be flaws? Hell no, get out. They’re beautiful.

One time she made you ride her face and you got a little too into it, which resulted in her pulling a few muscles in her neck and you had to stop. You wouldn’t stop apologizing but she didn’t seem to mind at allm even though it was clear it hurt like hell.

She didn’t tell anyone about your little incident but she seemed a little more smug than usual the next few days as her neck got back to normal.

When you asked her why, she answered something like ��my girlfriend sat on my face so hard she nearly broke my neck – that’s hot.”

Notes: unrelated to these headcanons but there were 2 gorgeous women and my volunteer work today and I just needed to share that with the sapphics on the internet

[jenotapes]

10 meters away, what now?

pairing | huang renjun x fem!reader

genre | tooth-rotting fluff, best friends to lovers, love alarm au, high school au

word count | 3.3k

warnings | profanity, renjun is a little annoying, reader and renjun have a touchy feely friendship, RENJUN JUST WANTS AN ANSWERRR, sorta making out at the end, mentions of the reader being referred as petite!!

notes | my long awaited part for @aehyei's VALENTINE'S GONE WRONG! collab <3

synopsis | in a world where an application alerts people if someone in the vicinity, within 10 meters, likes them. things had gotten harder for you the day it rose to popularity, as you preferred to keep your crush on your best friend top secret. it doesn’t really help when he starts to pester you about it.

Quote unquote, on a fine Monday morning: and Everyone’s gripped over the newly released application.

You remembered about half a month ago, Park Jisung had come to you over a slight concern he had, sitting on the wooden bench with his antsy hands as the autumn leaves fell around the both of you.

“I’m telling you this first because I trust you.”

You thought it was kind of silly, and stupid. Actually, it was a little nonsensical, maybe a lot. He thought it was a good idea to entrust you with ‘confidential’ information, telling you that he was nearly done programming this app project titled Love Alarm— in the result of a final harsh rejection, he decided to show the world that there was no need to wait for a yes or a no, and to let the mooning tension consume you with the never-ending questions to whether or not your crush likes you back.

That very decision was made right after the both of you met up. He had a way different plan before that, to be frank, wanting to program Love Alarm only for himself and his crush, Lee Dongsook— it seemed to him that it would be more romantic that way, albeit you barely understood why.

It seemed as if he wanted to give her a new smartphone as well, sneaking with the app already installed. But of course, plans never go the way it’s supposed to be and it ends up on the downhill road, leaving poor Jisung to be ever so heartbroken. So instead, he gave it to you, you were one of his closest friends after all.

But then again, you were left with an extra phone.

What the hell do you do with an extra phone?

-

A week after the app’s launch, its ratings had unexpectedly soared and before you knew it, you’d be walking to school with plenty of aggravating ringing through the busy hallways. You could really use some ear swabs right now.

By showing the world, you weren’t expecting it to be like this. You thought he was going to have some extreme makeover, gain some muscle and show Dongsook what she’s been missing out on; even though he looks completely fine, and maybe she just turned a blind eye. He’s finally putting his nickname dubbed ‘the coding genius’ to work but proclaimed ‘world record for most bitches’? Not so much.

Sure, you’d be complimenting his developing skills, after all, he is still a high school student— maybe you don’t know how entirely accurate the app is itself, but for a reminder: you still had an extra phone in your hands and you were no doubt on edge.

With the app already installed, maybe you could pick up the pace and try it out. Excuses and excuses, you just had a habit of going onto compatibility websites, maybe taking love and relationship Buzzfeed quizzes along with keeping an eye on the spicy couple gossip surrounding the school (who doesn’t?).

To add on, an avid romance lover who is, indeed, a hopeless romantic.

A little curiosity isn’t going to hurt anybody, right?

You sat on a bench that was set in the middle of the school’s open area, taking out the navy blue box that was wrapped around with a pearl white ribbon. Carefully pulling the ends and gently opening the cover of the box— the familiar blue and pink gradient of the app immediately appeared.

Do I just press it?

It was sort of terrifying, what if someone did like you? There were tons of people near your vicinity and something unexpected might happen. May it be a stranger or a close friend, that just so happens to pass by and ring your alarm.

A delicate touch on the screen was all it took to have it already ringing, scanning people within 10 meters of your vicinity that were currently using the app as well. It was like pretty much yearning for a high grade, though what would an app decide for you anyway?

Even with the ringing, you heard the faint beep.

One?

Looking at the number made you turn around, obviously to see and pick out who was in your surroundings. And of course, fate does an entire 360 degree. You were sort of hoping for it, but at a time like this— maybe you wished it wouldn’t have happened.

Renjun? Renjun. Not to exaggerate anything, but he was nothing short but the man of your dreams. He was your best friend in fact, and you couldn’t help but fall head over heels for him. I mean, come on. Who wouldn’t fall for him? That delicate, sweet look, an absolute gentleman, he isn’t fickle for shit and he’s got everything to fall for.

He just had to be there.

Then again, there were seven other people around you. Random guy, another random person, Jaemin, another random girl… and Renjun. You didn’t really recognize anyone besides the two you mentioned, possibly you’ve seen one of them in an old class before.

Your heart easily skips a beat from the thought of Renjun ringing your alarm, immediately turning your view away from him as you bring the phone close to your chest out of pure worry. Sure, you liked him, maybe so much to the point where all you’ve done on your little love percentage website hunts— was just to name the both of you. Results, you dare not say.

That’s because of the ‘don’t date best friends, don’t ruin friendships’ policy. You didn’t really care but then again, how were you going to face him if things were actually so much more different than they were? Worst case scenario, you idiotically confront him, he rejects you, things become awkward, and then it leads to the end of a long-time friendship.

Cardinal rule number one: do not confront him about your feelings, don’t even express anything.

You felt so stupid, mooning over him like a lovesick high school teenager. The only thing you could really do was to keep your lips zipped, pretend this never happened, and keep this phone safe in your hands.

–

“Have you downloaded Love Alarm?”

“Nope, not too interested. Why?”

Your response appeared cool, great. But you don’t realize the sort of dispirited expression that was sitting so prolonged on his face. You don’t know whether you should play cliche and avoid him but then again, knowing Renjun remarkably well, a straightforward question ushers to the inevitable start of cat and mouse. You don’t know if he’s just that of an observer, or it’s because you’ve been best friends since the start of your untold chocolate milk incident; the vending machine coincidentally dispensing two of the cartons at the same time Renjun came near to get a drink.

Right now, instead of two cartons of chocolate milk— he’s waiting for your phone.

“Why’d you ask?”

“I’ve gotten like, five people.” He’s awfully stern today, and that’s because he’s hoping for an answer from you. “Wow, I’m friends with a chick magnet.” A scoff leaves your lips, and he stares at the screen before putting it in his pocket. There’s a brooding look on his face, and it looks as if he wants to tell you something crucial— while trying to put two to two together.

“Pfft, chick magnet my ass. Have you seen Jaemin? He’s gotten at least twenty.”

���Twenty? Holy shit, that’s like— half a class.” Your jaw was slack, eyebrows raised as you lean your back on the chair. “Wishing my five was more than that.”

By more than that, you don’t realize he exactly means one person and not more than the number of secret admirers Jaemin had. He wants his five to add to a six, not a thirty-five nor a thirty-one. He wants that sixth person, to be you in fact.

And that’s the only probable reason why he’s looking at you so expectedly, he’s asking you because he had presumed you were one of the five people within his 10 meter vicinity— but he assumed you were not, unaware you were sitting on a bench right behind him that morning. He was so nonplused on why he was oddly eager to get a response from you, and by the looks of your shifting eyes, and reluctance to download an app, there was something you were hiding from him.

After all, you’re the Y/N he knows that loved to go on relationship percentage websites to see how compatible you were with different people in school (unaware it’s just Renjun’s name you were putting actually), always keeping tabs on the spicy couple schemes that get tangled in the school’s gossip blog, a hopeless romantic, and favorite movies entirely being just romance and it’s wide variety of subgenres.

Sounds familiar right? He loves catching details.

So he’s wondering why an app gets you less interested than a similar stupid bot-generating website. You told him yourself that a student here programmed it, right? Bot or not, what really was the difference?

He doesn’t want to sound crazy, but he thinks you like him.

And he definitely isn’t wrong.

In fact, he isn’t wrong at all.

If the two of you were on a dating reality show, you’d totally hit it off at first sight, as quoted by a Buzzfeed quiz you took the other day, and it totally hasn’t been in your mind since.

Actually, it totally has.

You choose to ignore his more-than-five comment, clearing your throat while tapping slightly on the table. “I’ll just stick with my websites.” You sigh, earning a raised brow from the latter in front of you. “But, this is real, isn’t it?”

A little taken aback by his reply, you tilt your head. “Yeah, why? Got your eye on someone?”

Playing fire with fire, he decides to take up a bold response. “I do.”

Renjun has never wanted to hit himself so hard in the face, it was a straightforward response but he swore he had an intuition that he’d be giving out a more indirect answer, something like ‘i don’t know, maybe i do’ because he reckons things like this would rile you up— but he pushes himself to another route.  Luckily his flushed cheeks weren’t too noticeable, “W..what about you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Were you going to say it?

Should you be forward?

“Six letters, there’s a J in their name.” Your voice stumbles more than intended.

You’d expect him to immediately get the hint, but for some reason he’s absolutely clueless— dumber than a brick. “Joohee?” You shook your head. “Jisung?” Again, no. “Jaehyun?”

“That’s seven, hasn’t he already graduated?”

He’s thinking hard, and it should’ve been easy to piece— and you were somewhat ready to tell him, you’ve concluded that Renjun wouldn’t let go of your friendship so easily, at least that’s what you were hoping.

“...Jaemin?”

Just before you opened your mouth to say anything, the teacher already made her way in. Looking at your expression, Renjun is already set to a muddle. Why was he even thinking so hard about this in the first place? “Later.” You whisper, leaving the latter to glance at the teacher before a sigh leaves his lips.

“But–” Before he can finish his sentence, you abruptly stand up from your seat to sit on your own. It’s not like he’s overanalyzing your current movement, but he feels a little dubious. Is it Jaemin?

While Renjun was busy probing, you had realized the conversation was going nowhere. He’s always so dense when it comes to the answer being all about him, and maybe that hint was enough to get it festering into his brain for a day or two. You speak without thinking and this is the outcome of it, and now you’re back to square one: avoid him, you know desperate times call for desperate measures.

-

Renjun’s a little mixed up over the situation, over sixes and sevens how you were suddenly averting his every move and avoiding him. Maybe he beat around the bush too much, and you probably didn’t want to tell him anything of the sort. He feels a little shitty, but then again he was curious on why you were so reluctant. Was it really Jaemin that you liked?

Call him crazy, but Renjun doesn’t realize these are the effects of falling in love. He’s yet to know, and he’s yet to piece that your beloved crush is indeed, him. Huang Renjun.

You reach home completely exhausted, and not to mention, guilty that you’d be steering clear from him. What if he thinks you hated him? Maybe you did, to be honest. He makes you feel so corny inside— it’s insane. Falling in love makes you feel like a different person, and it’s hurting all of you for no reason.

You plop yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling of your room before questioning your life choices. Then again, there’s always that familiar notification ring that whips you into shape.

renjeon <3: hey

renjeon <3: you okay?

No, you definitely weren’t, it’s only been a day and now you were putting up the face of utter guilt. You take up the courage to type something, but quickly delete the message after—- licking your lips in anticipation as you shut your phone. At that moment, you feel your shoulders droop as you hug your pillow tight, burying your face into the soft cushion to let out a muffled scream. You were kicking your feet in the air and you felt like a complete idiot.

Hours and hours of tuition and art school were enough to get you weary, let alone the thoughts that were eating you up inside and out and feeling as if you mislead him and might have unintentionally ravaged your relationship with Renjun in some way. It was late at night and all you wanted was to sleep this night away and hope it all ends up magically well tomorrow, and that the misunderstandings would be quickly explained to.

renjeon <3: is smth bothering u?

You immediately glimpse at his notification, sucking your teeth as you had just decided that you were giving up right here, right now. Taking the phone in your hands, you type what you had forerun to text him just now.

you: meet me at eunhaeng children’s park, the bench near the playground

you: 8:47

The latter never dare to leave you on seen, quickly replying a short ‘okay’ as you mutter curses under your breath.

Now you were panicking on what to wear, fuck.

-

Renjun immediately grabs his dangling keys along with his phone, who cares if his hair was disheveled to oblivion— and that he was still in his sleepwear? No one would stare, but I’m afraid the Pikachu socks were a little out of pocket.

He kisses his mother goodbye, leaving her a little confused as he quickly runs out the door to ride his bike to the children’s park. It was about 5 minutes away at least, the latter cycling his way out, late at night, just to hear what you had to say. And he still hasn’t realized anything?

He’s panting, and he’s tired, moving his legs to quickly get to you.

And luckily, he’s managed to reach his destination in a matter of 5 minutes. Seeing your petite figure, huddled up on the bench as he swallows his throat.

The moment he arrives, your face lights up— giving him a small smile as he settles his bike near the tree trunk, walking up to you with his face all flustered. “5 minutes? Here I thought you’d take at least 9.” You laugh, getting a monotonous look from him in return. “Sorry.”

A quick scoff leaves his lips, sitting next to you. “What is it that you want to talk about?”

Your eyelashes flutter at his question, swallowing the lump in your throat as silence follows through the air. He was looking at you expectedly, your hand reaching deep in your pocket to take out a familiar phone.

It wasn’t familiar to Renjun at all, in fact— he’s never seen it once in his life. But it was familiar to you, in all means— it’s the phone Jisung gave you.

You lock eyes with him, your lips slightly curved as you fumbled with the gadget in your hand. “Love Alarm.”

“What?”

“Open it.”

Your voices were close to gentle whispers, accompanied by the noise of crickets and the somewhat chilly air. Renjun’s eyes blink as you tell him to enter the app, and as the familiar screen pops up— he glances at you. He feels as if your eyes were telling him to press it, and he does. You press it too.

It’s the familiar ringing.

Instead of a thousand rings at a time, it’s just two.

And instead of zeroes, there were ones.

Your eyes widened in shock, and not to mention— Renjun seemed stunned by the result.

“It was you?” The two of you said in unison.

Renjun was the person who had rung your alarm amongst the seven people, and you were among the five.

The two of you could only stare at each other, it wasn’t tense nor was it awkward— rather it was taking it in what they had just witnessed, trying to put two and two together. “Holy fuck, six letters, R in his name. Renjun,  fuck! Renjun.” The latter abruptly says, bringing a palm to his forehead as you let out a laugh. “You’re so stupid, you know that?”

“I never thought it’d be me.”

“In denial?”

Bingo, he was definitely in denial. To him, you were like a goddess and he was like a fool, there was no way you would find any interest in him anyway. You click your tongue as he starts to ponder, bringing your soft hands to cup his face.

“You don’t understand. You..”

His face melts in your touch, and suddenly everything in him falls light like a feather. Nothing comes crashing down, and no thunderstorm to ruin the day, everything was like feathers falling. “I..?” He raises his brows.

“You… I like you.” You smile.

God, that was all he wanted, let alone— needed to hear.

He gently holds your wrists to settle them on his lap, shooting heart eyes as his idiotic smile was uncontainable, he couldn’t hold it. All he needed, was for you to confess to him right then and there. Sure, he should have made the first move— but you made it first before he did, and it reassures him in some way.

“I like you more.” Finally, an ear-to-ear smile forms on his pink lips.

He was firmly holding your cold hands, not too tight but it was enough to tell you not to pull away and stay with him, at this moment.

“So does this mean were…dating?” You cut to the chase, giving him your sheepish smile as he lets out a wholehearted chuckle. “Of course, idiot.”

“Says you.”

The two of you share a laugh, and as it fades, Renjun glances at your eyes— slowly bringing his hand to cup your cheek as he raises a brow to get your approval.

His little gesture left a smile on your face, immediately pulling him into a soft kiss as the two of you melt in each other’s arms. His hands begin to gently intertwine with your yours, and it slowly became a more passionate kiss. His pecks were gentle, barely rough and the way he leaned in was enough to tell he was a good kisser.

Your connected, intertwined hands sent your beating heart into a palpitation, his thumb slowly caressing your cheek as he never fails to make you the giddiest person alive. As a hopeless romantic, you set your ideals beside— as this was much better than what you desired. Begin a hectic day, follow with your sentiments let out, and sweet canoodling to end the night.

It’s always good to solve things, maybe avoid kissing at a children’s park if you sort things out.

Well, rest assured, the two of you walked into school hand in hand.

do not translate or copy © jenotapes 2022

[deadbiwrites]

a video of supergirl grabbing lena luthor's ass starts circulating and it's very embarrassing for sc but extremely funny to their friends

(I am SO sorry. Where do these hide? Why do I never see them? How long has this been here?!

Anyways, have some cute nonsense!)

The day starts like any other, honestly.

Like, sure, Kara’s never thrilled when she wakes up 20 minutes late and has to use superspeed to get through her morning routine and into the office on time, but it happens regularly enough that she’s just sort of used to it by now. Like, the sky is blue, the grass is green, she manages time poorly. Whatever.

But she does get to work on time, with just enough to spare that she can make a brief detour to Nia’s desk for the coffee her protege has already bought for her, thank her profusely (with perhaps minor promising of firstborn children), and slip into the morning meeting just as Snapper, James, and Lena start handing out assignments for the day.

“Well, well, good of you to join us, Ponytail. Let me guess, a family emergency kept you out all night again?”

‘I mean, that Abraxian wasn’t my family, technically, but someone’s family, so…’ “Something like that. Sorry.”

Lena catches her eye and quirks a brow in question, but Kara just shrugs easily and sips her coffee, pulling a silly face at her friend when Snapper’s attention moves away from her. When her eyes uncross, she can tell Lena is fighting not to laugh, eyes sparking with mirth as she bites her lip. Kara takes another sip of coffee, feeling a bit smug that she can get Lena to smile without even having to say anything to her. That’s real talent, right there.

Especially since Lena has to stand up at the front with James, who has been by turns cold, dejected, and surly toward her since their breakup (a big, real, final one) a few weeks prior. Lena had said that the whole thing was a mistake, that she should’ve never gone for it in the first place because she’d been right the first time- they’d had some chemistry, after all, but it certainly wasn’t compatible long-term. 

Which… Kara can certainly relate. Like, a lot.

Especially about the whole… James being kind of wounded about it part. That part had really sucked- when he’d done it with Kara, who he’d gone on like, a date with, it’d resulted in him deciding to become a vigilante. Rao only knows what he’ll do when it’s someone he dated on and off for over a year...

“Ponytail!”

Kara jumps, realizing too late that her wandering attention hasn’t gone unnoticed. “Yes, sir?”

Snapper rolls his eyes. “Great, now that you’ve stopped orbiting Saturn, you wanna go get that article started?”

Kara’s eyes widen slightly in a panic as she realizes that she has no idea what he’s talking about. “Uh…” Behind his back, Lena catches her eye and nods subtly. Thank Rao. “Yes. I super do.”

Lena snorts, James sighs deeply, and the meeting is adjourned.

**

“So what exactly am I supposed to be doing today?” Kara asks Lena as they stroll out of the conference room together.

“Well unfortunately for you, you have to interview a big-time CEO. You have a meeting scheduled with her in three hours.”

“You?” Kara asks hopefully.

“You’re very sweet,” Lena chuckles. “No, Elena Watts. She’s a real estate developer, and she runs a nonprofit organization for homeless youth. It’s one of the articles we’re doing for next month’s spread. Contrary to popular belief, Cat and I weren’t the only women with high-profile jobs in this city. ”

“Oh, that’s pretty cool! Have you met her?”

“Not personally, no, but I have donated to her charity- it’s a very good cause, especially the outreach they do with queer youth.”

Kara elbows Lena gently. “You’re such a softie.”

“Mmm, maybe. But if you tell anyone, you’re fired.”

Kara clutches a hand to her chest, feigning horror. “Why Miss Luthor, what a blatant abuse of power!”

Lena shrugs. “I’m a Luthor, darling, I have to keep up appearances somehow.”

“Ouch,” Kara laughs. “See you at lunch?”

“Only if lunch includes a milkshake- I have a teleconference with both boards today. Unless you feel like joining me?”

“Wow, well as fun as that sounds, I’m gonna go do literally anything else.” Her comms crackle to life, alerting her of a hostage situation downtown, and Kara sighs. So much for a work day. “Alright, well, I’m, um, gonna go… see what I can find on Elena Watts. Maybe over another cup of coffee at Noonan’s.” She widens her eyes a bit, trying her best to convey that she’s going to be on Super-duty for a little while.

Thankfully, Lena picks up on it and grins. “You just want sticky buns.”

“Lena, I always want sticky buns. They’re like, my second favorite thing to eat.”

“Oh? What’s the first?” Lena asks, voice just a bit lower than usual. 

Kara opens her mouth and closes it, flushing slightly as she averts her gaze and adjusts the laptop bag on her shoulder. Stuff like that has been happening more and more, and she’s not 100% sure what to do about it. Because on the one hand, it makes her stomach do flips and tie up in knots and makes her brain do this… staticky thing where nothing filters in or out, just a pleasant buzz of how funny and smart Lena is and how much Kara likes hanging out with her and being flirted with (because that’s definitely what’s been happening, even if neither of them is really ready to address it) and just generally looking at Lena.... who is currently biting her lip and grinning up at Kara, and that buzz makes her kinda dumb, which is just really unhelpful. But on the other hand, it’s also kinda awesome and Kara really enjoys it, and-

“Kara?”

She spaced out again. Crap.

“Um. What time are you free for lunch?”

Lena sighs, seeming slightly disappointed that Kara isn’t flirting back at the moment (and thank Rao Lena can’t read minds), but she smiles back easily enough as they step off of the elevator. “I should be done by two.”

Feeling emboldened, Kara turns so she’s walking backwards in front of Lena and grins. “It’s a date,” she says with a grin, ducking forward to press a quick “friendly” kiss high on Lena’s cheek. She whirls and jogs out the double doors, leaving Lena smiling exasperatedly after her.

**

It is genuinely baffling to Kara that people still commit crimes in National City. It’s not even an ego thing, really, since Kara tries to keep herself humble (even when she manages to wrap up a hostage situation within twenty seconds of arriving on-scene without injuring any of the criminals or damaging the building too badly). Like, yeah, she gets that there’s a certain element of crazies who just sorta gravitate to places with a local hero, the big-bads who have their own suits and geek-toys and abilities. Them, Kara gets. Kinda sorta. But the regular ones, who are armed with like, pistols? Or knives? Just regular man made stuff without even the benefit of magic or kryptonite or something?

Why? 

She’s sure that if she asked, Lena would have some sort of statistical thing about large cities and poverty and all sorts of other factors that would end up making Kara feel like a jerk for being uncharitable to the criminal element of her city, but at the moment she’s mostly too annoyed by the fact that she has to spend her weekdays chasing them around instead of chasing stories.

Once all the hostages are freed and the cops secure the scene, Kara departs, flying into the alley behind Noonan’s and changing into her regular clothes before she heads inside to do a bit of research before her meeting with Elena Watts in a few hours (just because she’d used it as a cover doesn’t mean it was a bad idea…). She finds her favorite little two-person booth tucked into a quiet corner, plugs in her laptop, and gets to work, asking the waitress to please keep both the coffee and the sticky buns coming.

She gets a surprising amount done by the time she needs to leave for the interview, having a good foundation for what she wants to write and who Elena Watts is.

Ms. Watts turns out to be a pretty nice lady around Eliza’s age, if a bit busy and distracted by the steady flow of people in and out of her office. She answers all Kara’s questions with aplomb, happy to elaborate on most every point and eager to draw attention to the rising issue of homelessness among children and teens in the US.

“When I was young, my dad lost his job at the auto plant. It was supposed to be a temporary layoff, but the factory never reopened. We ended up losing the house, and we lived so far from our extended family that staying with them wasn’t much of an option. We lived in our SUV for six months, sleeping at shelters every now and again, if we could find one that allowed families to stay together. We showered at the local YMCA. Five people and a dog, living and sleeping in an old station wagon- even now, it sounds ridiculous. Eventually, we got back on our feet, but I never forgot that. It was just six months, but it was- and remains- the scariest, most uncertain time in my entire life, and it shaped me in a lot of ways I didn’t expect. And there are kids and families who do that for years. I just want to help them the way I wish that someone had been able to help us.”

At the end of the interview, Kara thanks her profusely for her time and for sharing her story before hurrying off to CatCo to type up a draft for Snapper (“What’s wrong with you, Ponytail, why is everything you bring me sappy and sentimental?”), which she finishes an outline of just in time to send it off before running to Big Belly and L-Corp for lunch with Lena.

She greets the newest in a series of secretaries (Anna? Amy? Ava? Lena’s really missing Jess, these days, but from what she’s told Kara, Jess is kicking butt in her new role as VP of Operations and will probably take over for the COO when he retires in a few years), and the girl waves her in distractedly.

And that’s when Kara’s day goes from normal to not, because inside the office are two masked men holding a stone-faced Lena at gunpoint on her balcony and demanding… something, probably. Kara’s a bit distracted by the loaded gun aimed at Lena’s head.

“Hey!” she yells, attracting both their attention. They whirl on her and Lena’s eyes widen in alarm, and Kara suddenly realizes three things- 1) she’s in her Kara Danvers clothes, not the supersuit, 2) she can’t speed into the suit now that they’re both looking at her, and 3) she has no plan.

Crap.

“Who the hell are you?!” one of them demands.

Kara… doesn’t have a good or snappy answer for that, and instead does the only thing she can think of- she throws the large milkshakes she’s carrying at them as hard as she can.

Which, in retrospect, is too hard, apparently because while yes, it is both funny and gratifying to see two grown men get absolutely leveled by a tasty dairy treat to the face, the one closest to Lena manages to elbow her in such a way that she falls backwards over the rail with an instinctual scream that makes Kara’s heart fly into her throat. She whips off her glasses, and by the time she’s out the window and speeding toward Lena’s flailing form, the suit is materialized. She gets under Lena, catching her carefully and dropping a bit further before slowing down (because she’s been made aware that when she doesn’t, the people she’s saving may as well be hitting the pavement), finally coasting to a stop about 20 feet from the ground.

Lena’s face is screwed up in a forced sort of focus, her hands clutching tightly at Kara’s shoulders and cape as she holds her breath.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks quietly.

Lena swallows thickly and nods, eyes still firmly closed. “I’m alright. Thank you- I’ll admit, I wasn’t quite sure how to get out of that one.”

“What was that? What did they want?”

Lena cracks an eye open. “Oh. you know, just my quarterly assassination attempt. I think my mother was starting to miss me, so she wanted to reach out.”

Kara snorts. “That really shouldn’t be funny.”

“Maybe not, but here we are.” Lena shifts a bit in Kara’s arms, cheeks a bit flushed from the adrenaline rush, and clears her throat. “Not to be rude, Supergirl, but do you think that perhaps we could continue this conversation… on the ground?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, sorry. I forgot we were, uh, flying.”

Lena chuckles as they ascend slowly back up to her office. “You forgot you were flying?”

Kara shrugs with an easy smile. “I guess you have that effect on me.”

Lena huffs a laugh against Kara’s neck, eyes squeezed shut again. They alight on the balcony, finding the two men still unconscious, covered in Kara and Lena’s lunch. Lena sighs as Kara sets her down, pinching the bridge of her nose. “What a mess.”

“Yeah, sorry, I sorta… panicked.”  

“I was so looking forward to a milkshake too…” Lena laments playfully.

“Well, then I have good news and bad news,” Kara says. She reaches out and gently wipes a bit of her own chocolate shake from Lena’s cheek with the pad of her thumb, tucking it into her mouth on instinct to get a taste of it. “The good news is, you do, in fact, have some shake on you!”

“Whats the bad news?” 

“Also that you have some shake on you.” Kara laughs, gathering the two men in her arms and hefting them a bit so they’re easier to carry. “I’ll get you another one. Be right back.”

She drops the men at the police station with a brief explanation before flying back into the office. Lena hands over her discarded glasses with a wry grin.

“I figured you’d need these before the police arrive.” She’s putting on a brave front, but she’s clearly still more than a bit rattled, if her too-bright eyes and thundering heartbeat are anything to go by. Kara steps closer and opens her arms in invitation, and Lena doesn’t hesitate to step into them. “Thank you,” Lena says fervently, tucking her face into Kara’s shoulder and wrapping her arms tight around Kara’s waist. 

“Always,” Kara promises, daring to press a reassuring kiss to Lena’s temple (and getting a bit of Lena’s strawberry shake for her troubles) before wrapping her up even tighter in her arms. “Are you actually okay?”

“I mean, my fear of heights has been reaffirmed,” Lena jokes, “but aside from that, I’m not hurt.”

“Good. I don’t like, love people pointing guns at you. Just so you know.”

“I’m not a fan either, for the record,” Lena drawls, burrowing even closer. “Even though I know you’ll save me, it still puts a damper on my day.”

Kara huffs a laugh. “Same.”

They stay like that for a few minutes, until Lena’s calmed down enough to stop shaking and calls her assistant (Audra, apparently) in, telling her what’d happened and that the police would be arriving shortly to take her and Kara’s statements, and please advise the security team to let them up discreetly. After the cops arrive, it’s a blur of questions, and Kara has to concentrate on telling the story of how she’d panicked and thrown the milkshakes at the men, and one of them had knocked Lena over the balcony (all true), and Kara had yelled for Supergirl, who had knocked the men out on her way to Lena (also technically mostly true. Technically. Mostly.). The police are sure to tell Kara that next time, she shouldn’t throw things at people with guns, and also to tell them both how lucky they are that Supergirl had shown up when she did.

“She’s always there when I need her,” Lena agrees, throwing a sly wink over the officer’s shoulder at Kara.

Kara just shakes her head and smiles. Even almost dying isn’t enough to make Lena not flirt with her. The woman is truly a marvel.

Kara’s comms crackle again, accompanied by Alex’s custom ringtone on her cell, and after assuring the police that she has no issue with giving another statement if they need her to later, hurries over to the DEO (making a quick stop in the back alley to change into her suit).

**

When Kara arrives, she’s told that J’onn and Alex are waiting for her in the Directors’ offices. She makes her way there, waving to the agents and scientists she knows. But it’s very weird, because every time one of them sees her, they start giggling before quickly hurrying off in the opposite direction. Like, literally everyone is whispering and pointing and giggling, and it’s giving Kara such visceral flashbacks to high school that it’s all she can do to not check her cape for a taped on sign that says ‘Kick me’ or ‘Freak’.

(Kids are mean.)

By the time Kara gets to her destination, she’s fully paranoid, sure that someone’s playing a prank on her, somehow, and that everyone but her is in on the joke. She opens the door with more force than intended and catches it just before the handle puts a hole in the wall, throwing Alex and J’onn a sheepish smile. She closes the door extra gently and leans against it heavily. J’onn and Alex just stare at her, looking thoroughly unimpressed.

“Busy day, Supergirl?” Alex asks, and after half a lifetime of spending time with her, Kara recognizes that she, too, is trying not to laugh. 

Kara’s had enough. “Okay, do I have something on my face? Or on the suit? Is someone messing with me?”

J’onn’s brow furrows. “No.”

“Then what’s the deal? Why is the entire DEO like… laughing at me? Did someone accidentally vent the lab fumes out into the main hub again?”

“No.”

“Did someone see me crash into that billboard last week?”

J’onn’s frown deepens. “What?”

“No,” Alex answers.

“Then why is everyone laughing at me?!”

“I mean, if I had to guess, I’d say it’s because of that,” Alex muses, nodding toward the big TV on the wall beside Kara.

She steps back to watch the news coverage of her dealing with the hostage situation this morning and frowns. “What, those guys? That was routine, what’s so funny about tha-”

“No, no, not that. That,” Alex clarifies, cranking up the volume.

“...reports are saying that the CEO of L-Corp, Lena Luthor, experienced an attempt on her life early this afternoon. Sources claim that she fell from a considerable height-”

“Hey, she was pushed,” Kara corrects.

“Shh!”

“...caught by Supergirl, who may have gotten a little… familiar with her.”

And there’s a video (clearly recorded on a cell phone but not the worst quality Kara’s ever seen) of Kara catching Lena and slowing to a stop above the sidewalk, of them talking quietly, of Kara’s hand definitely on Lena’s-

“Oh. Oh no.”

“Oh yes,” Alex drawls, clicking the TV off with relish, a large, evil-big-sister grin spreading across her face. “Congratulations, Supergirl- the world just watched you grope Lena Luthor’s ass.”

“But I’m not- I wasn’t groping, I was catching! My hands weren’t… If it was groping, I’d be all up on her, and I wasn’t!”

“Camera begs to differ. It’s already trending on Twitter in National CIty.”

Kara puts her head in her hands and groans. “Why?! I was trying to save her!”

“You were definitely trying to save part of her,” Alex agrees. “Granted, it’s a very nice part...”

Kara’s head pops up, and she shoots Alex a look that’s between a pout and a glare. “You’re not helping.”

Alex feigns confusion. “Am I supposed to be helping?”

“Alright, enough,” J’onn cuts in before Kara can retort. “We just wanted you to be aware. I don’t think that this is going to be taken for anything more than it is- a humorous moment in the middle of a successful rescue. You shouldn’t worry about the press.”

And truth be told, Kara isn't worried about the press- she’s worried about the fact that she’s going to have to face Lena after this. Lena, who she knows for a fact has google alerts set for herself, Kara Danvers, and Supergirl, a gesture which is normally actually sweet and kind but is right now definitely gonna bite her in the-

“Okay! So, is that all?”

Alex blinks, looks over at J’onn, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah. Try not to make a habit of groping your crush when you’re in the suit.”

“I wasn’t groping her-”

Alex grins. “So you admit you have a crush? Interesting…”

“Alex!”

**

J’onn’s prediction is mostly right- no one seems to be taking the shots of her grabbi- saving Lena as anything other than a funny blip of a moment in their coverage of it.

He was wrong about the sheer scale. The clip had gone totally viral in a matter of hours, and seemingly every major network in the country has run the clip at least once as a bit of filler-fluff, and almost every major network anchor (including the ones at CatCo, the traitors) has made at least a passing joke about Supergirl being ‘Super-Handsy'.

Which means that Kara is very late getting back to Lena’s office with replacement food. But like, she’s been busy, okay? It’s not like she’s avoiding Lena, or something, because she’s embarrassed- which she isn’t, because she didn’t do anything bad or wrong and-

Anyways, it’s well past sunset by the time Kara gets to Lena’s office door again. She hesitates outside it for just a moment before shouldering the door open and knocking tentatively.

Lena’s attention jerks from whatever she’d been absorbed in to Kara, and a relieved smile blooms across her face. “Hey there.”

Kara finds herself equally relieved to not experience a repeat performance of earlier scary situations. “Hi,” Kara says, unable to resist smiling back. She raises the bags and cup carrier. “I bring grease and milkshakes. Again.”

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Lena says, rolling her chair away from her desk and rising into a deep and probably much-needed stretch. Kara very determinedly does not stare at the slight sliver of soft tummy that appears between her blouse and skirt at the motion. “I’ve been staring at this screen for several hours. And Sam called to yell at me- she says hello, by the way- she and Ruby are in town next weekend.”

“Good!” Kara crosses the room to the couch as Lena does, easily spreading out the veritable buffet of fast food she’d brought over the coffee table. “I mean, not good that she yelled at you, or that you’re still at work, Miss Luthor,” she says pointedly, receiving only an unapologetic shrug in response. “But good that, um-”

“I get it,” Lena chuckles, resting a hand lightly on Kara’s knee and boy, if that doesn’t make Kara’s brain go fuzzy and dumb again… “Thank you, for checking in.”

“Of course I was gonna check on you, Lena,” Kara huffs. “Plus, I know you probably didn’t get lunch, so…”

Lena hums around a mouthful of burger, chewing until she can politely speak again. “Well it’s delicious. Did you make it yourself?” she teases with a sly grin.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Slaved away over a hot stove for this- I just wrapped it in Big Belly wrappers so you wouldn’t feel bad about it.”

“Very clever.” Lena pops the lid off of her milkshake and drags a fry through it (an advanced culinary delicacy Kara had horrified her with initially but had eventually become a bit of a guilty pleasure). “Although I have to say, traditionally you’d have to buy me dinner before you grabbed my ass.”

Kara chokes on a pickle. “Oh no,” she groans, dropping the burger onto the wrapper on the table and dropping her very red face into her hands as Lena laughs beside her. She peers out from between her fingers. “I am so sorry, I was just worried about you hitting the pavement and like, catching you in the least jarring way and I wasn’t paying attention to where my hands were and I didn’t even notice until I got back to the DEO and-”

“Well I have so say, I feel a bit offended that you didn’t even realize you were copping a feel...” When the only response is another groan and a deep flush spreading from Kara’s neck to the tips of her ears, Lena relents. “Kara, Kara, it’s fine!” she laughs, pulling Kara’s hands away from her face and giving them a grounding squeeze. “Nia’s been sending me memes about it all day, which has improved my mood significantly. On the grand scale of fallout from assassination attempts, this one was at least funny.”

“I know that’s supposed to be comforting, but all it makes me wanna do is wrap you in bubble wrap forever,” Kara informs her.

“Pass on that. But seriously, don’t worry about it- I know it wasn’t on purpose- unfortunately for me, you’re too noble to do something like that,” Lena laments playfully.

And whether it’s the knowledge that Lena is not, in fact, upset, the overall weirdness that has been this day, or this delicious burger fueling it, Kara feels a bit emboldened. “Hey Lena…”

“Yes?”

“What if I wanted to grab your butt? Just, y’know, as a hypothetical. For future reference.”

Lena quirks a brow at her, fighting a smile as she contemplates this. “Hmm. Strictly hypothetically?”

Kara scoots a bit closer on the couch. “Sure.”

 “Well, you’ve already bought me dinner…”

“And lunch, technically. Even if I gave it to the bad guys.”

“True. Plus you saved my life, so that gets you some points, probably.”

Kara pauses in her sly scooching. “Oh, hey, wait, no, that’s not-” 

“Kidding, Kara. I know you’d never use that to your advantage. I, however, have determined that strong moral fibre and nobility do, in fact, earn you more points, which is my choice on the matter and you get absolutely no say in it.”

“Oh. Um, alright, I think.”

Lena stares off into the middle distance, tapping her forefinger thoughtfully against her chin. Finally she shrugs. “Yes, I think you’re fulfilled the prerequisites for a bit of grab-ass today.”

Kara snorts, Lena laughs, and soon enough Kara takes her up on the offer.

**

“Hey Kara, remember that time you grabbed Lena’s ass and it made international news?” Nia asks around a mouthful of mushu pork.

“You mean last week? Yes, I remember,” Kara drawls. Beside her/halfway sitting on her lap, Lena snorts.

“That was the best.”

Alex glares. “Um, excuse you, no. No it was not. I had to sift through so much thirsting over my sister on like, every social media platform. It was the worst day of my life.”

Brainy’s brow furrows. “Surely that cannot be correct, Alex. Statistically speaking-”

Alex holds up a hand, cutting him off. “Trauma can’t be measured, Brainy.”

Kelly chuckles and presses a consoling kiss to Alex’s cheek, and it makes the tough agent melt into a doe-eyed puddle of mush that Kara snorts. And she says they’re gross... Kara sneaks a glance at Lena from the corner of her eye, and she catches Lena looking at her. She leans close and jostles her gently as she drops her head onto Lena’ shoulder. “We’re never gonna live that down, are we?”

“Probably not.”

“We have the worst friends.” When this elicits nothing but a chuckle, Kara tips her head back to see Lena still looking at her, a soft smile playing at her mouth and shining in her eyes. And like, this whole thing they’re doing is new, with the kissing and the actual dates and the... everything else. But the thing where Kara catches Lena looking at her and she doesn’t look away? That freakin’ knocks her out, every single time. “Hey,” she manages.

Lena grins down at her. “Hi.”

So yeah. Maybe the initial circumstances weren’t ideal, and she doesn’t love the mockery that’s been heaped upon her by all of her friends and loved ones (including Winn, who’d sent a missive from the future that literally just said ‘LOL’). But the fact is, Kara muses as she surges up just enough to kiss the corner of Lena’s mouth, that she doesn’t regret a thing.

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

okay @authorleaandres took one for the team, let's deep dive into infinite's family lore in my canon! get ready for pretty lady oc's and cursed genetics

Eteri

so, infinite's "oldest sister" is Eteri, and she's sort of forgotten by most people despite being the most popular. tall, curly hair, compassionate, the "ideal lady" of the 20th century but with the confident sexuality of chrissy chlapecka. no one knows who her dad is but her mum is the same as all the other sisters & finn (lol sure) so it works out! she has a very calming aura to her, which is also somehow unsettling

Tamar

the sister everyone seems to know. outspoken, master swordswoman, aggressive, cuthroat, and challenges all tradition from their hometown. 7 years older than finn, and the first to learn english & seek formal education, and the one to mandate that everyone gets a crack at it. the only family member to persistently acknowledge/raise finn but basically made his life hell by pushing him to unrealistic expectations and punishing him when he was anything less than perfect. loves him, protects him from everyone else, but is still embarrassed by him.

Our Dog

THIS IS WHERE THINGS GET MESSY. infinite is sort of a bastard child. his supposed mum fell in love with a much younger man, whom she had tamar with. who was he? stealing from @doomfox , T.W Barker. why is this where things get messy? eteri had a thing for barker, he could have been her way out of town, but their affair done fucked when it resulted in finn. barker dipped (i don't blame him, i wouldn't stick around this family either) and the only people know finn's genealogy are eteri, barker, his supposed mum, and tamar!

he's raised as just another sibling, nothing weird going on besides his fucked up genetics! he has more mobian (and as established in my fic, babylonian) dna because his father is an actual dog, and this also explains his decreased muscle mass and increased height compared to other jackals (who are tall but stockier). it's also why tamar is built similarly to him (they share a dad) but infinite is curlier and heterochromatic (from eteri: she isn't heterochromatic but the dog genes of barker plus her own mystery father are why his genetics are more screwed)

anyways, shall we move onto the younger siblings?

Natela

the first actual legitimate child between infinite's mother and father! tamar and finn are passed off as legitimate kin since barker never married their mum, but eteri is the known outsider being much older than the others. natela is infinite's irish twin, and she's also genetically fucked up! sorta. she's just, all white. not albino, just all white for some reason... googling the names might clue y'all in. she's perfect, basically. pretty like eteri, smart and formidable like tamar, musically talented like finn, it's great! they're actually quite close considering how polar opposite they are. the downside is she's annoyed and overshadowed by finn's problematic behaviour, but after seeing how her sisters get treated she isn't complaining as much to be out of the spotlight!

Gulisa

his youngest sister, 10 years younger than him. even though their mum has eteri as a teen, it's a miracle she was successfully born with her mum's age. they FINALLY got it right though! a legitimate child, no weird genetics, and—

oh... oh she's traumatized isn't she :/ yeah, gulisa was born around the time finn stopped being nice and passive as the town's punching bag. tamar got him to go to school with her in the mobian city nearby, but that made him too cocky so he'd act out and get into scraps with other people in the village. all she remembers is him being the worst fucking loudmouth there is, which is why she's very quiet and doll-like. when he comes back to finally meet her, she's a mix between tiktok alt and decora. y'know the ones, it's like the dangan cosplayers! she's still quiet but a bit more cute yet passively pissed, massive fluttershy vibes if that means anything to people.

What(?)

so, finn doesn't have a name. he's regarded to as nothing (araperi) or scolded with "no" (ara) which makes him think these are actually his names! whoop! when he finally goes by infinite after ep shadow, so that's really him naming himself for the first time. he uses to want everyone to love him and be happy around him, but after realizing no one would actually love him, he decided to embrace it and be a shit disturber. he goes to highschool when he's not old enough (tamar dragged him down when he was like 11 and asked the school to just let him wander around so he won't be an issue) but eventually worked his way into "highschool" which was a deal he made with natela, who was obviously not old enough yet (finn was only there before her so tamar could keep an eye on him). if he snuck books home for her from the library, she'd actually teach him the subjects he's supposed to be learning (tamar is the "my dad yelling at my bad math at the kitchen table while i cry" type of tutor so he never learned much, and what he DOES know is thanks to cram sessions with natela)

he eventually befriends two jackals in the drama club (one of which is Quatro... more on him another time) and they decide to run away and do odd jobs to get to broadway! they end up being mercenaries though (other jackal leaves, Quatro stays duh) and they team up with a pair that already existed (Deux and Trois). Uno has been watching them all for a while (as an established merc god) and decides to work with them anyways to see how things end up. i'll talk more about them all another time but that's how infinite leaves his shit family!

[lesbianrobin]

What do you think are the good and bad aspects of each season of ST?

ok 1. thank u for this question omg and 2. this answer may or may not be a mess, but either way it’s long (almost 7k words lmao) bc i’m insane, which is why it’s under a cut. it’s still by no means an exhaustive list but these are the things that just kinda came to mind.

also i realize you asked “good and bad” and i wrote this whole post as “strengths and weaknesses” which um. is not Exactly what you asked. but close enough <3 i also ended up including a lot of au ideas ksjdckmn bc like i personally hate when people say a certain plot or whatever was bad without suggesting anything that could have improved it yknow so whenever possible i tried to provide Some idea for fixing the issues i had with the show!!

season 1

strengths (this is probably gonna be the longest section but that’s because a lot of these strengths also apply to s2/s3 by default)

nostalgia and authenticity

this one’s pretty simple, but i think that season one did a good job of blending classic eighties media homages (such as the many many e.t./el parallels) with explicit pop culture references (such as mike’s yoda impression, mentions of the x-men, etc) to create a show that’s essentially dripping in early eighties nostalgia without it feeling too forced. before st, i think the most popular depiction of the eighties in mainstream media was that overly exaggerated neon scrunchie aesthetic from the mid to late eighties, and it was usually done in a comedic sense first and foremost. st took a different approach, instead focusing on the early eighties, a time that’s often ignored in favor of going either Full Seventies or Full Eighties, and i think that this choice likely resonated with adults who lived through the eighties and hadn’t yet seen something that felt quite so accurate to their own adolescence. a lot of young people who watched st were totally unfamiliar with this period of time, unfamiliar with books/movies like “stand by me” that st borrows from heavily, and i think st lent more seriousness to the eighties than most young people had experienced so far, and this was refreshing and interesting!

the use of dnd in the show is also quite genius in a way i’m not sure i can articulate?? it isn’t something Everyone would have played at the time, but it’s something that existed within a different context back in the eighties than it does today, and it really lent a sort of authenticity to the naming of the show’s sci-fi elements. like, of course these kids would name parallel dimensions and monsters and superpowers after these similar things in their favorite game! it just feels so real and it grounds st in our reality moreso than you might expect from the typical sci-fi or horror universe.

utilization of existing tropes

almost every single character in st clearly originates from some popular trope. the plot itself is riddled with classic eighties movie tropes. almost every single element of stranger things can be clearly traced back to some iconic eighties film or just to, like, overused horror/sci-fi/mystery/coming-of-age movie tropes in general. this might sound like a bad thing, but it really works in st’s favor! starting off with familiar tropes gives st the ability to easily create a lot of complexity and make a big impact by selectively deviating from those familiar, comfortable tropes!! while el’s whole plot, hopper’s character, etc, are all examples of this in action, i think the steve/nancy/jonathan plot is the greatest example. even from the start, the fact that good girl barb dies while nancy is off having sex with her asshole boyfriend is an incredibly thorough inversion of the most well-known horror movie trope in the book. how often do girls in horror movies have sex for the first time, walk home alone in the dark of night, and live to tell the tale? nancy and jonathan’s dynamic at first glance is a sort of classic “good girl meets boy from the wrong side of the tracks, discovers he’s actually got a heart of gold” thing, but instead of following this well-trodden path, st diverged. nancy is brash, impulsive, and at times downright insensitive. jonathan is angry, bitter, and actually a bit of a creep at first. while they have the capacity to emotionally connect and support one another, they can also bring out each other’s darker side, which is not what we’ve come to expect from that initial tropey dynamic.

in addition, steve, the popular rich asshole boyfriend, is actually... a human being! unlike the cartoonishly evil jocks that we’ve come to expect (especially from eighties movies), steve has complexity. despite his initial immaturity and selfishness, he’s also kind to barb, he backs off when nancy says no, he’s gentle and sweet when they sleep together, his first big Dick Move of the season is in defense of nancy, he realizes the error of his ways after the fight and does what he can to fix it, he’s worried about nancy when he sees that she’s hurt at jonathan’s house, and to top it all off, he ends up saving both nancy and jonathan’s lives when he could have just walked away, and the three of them all work together to fight the demogorgon. like... steve began as the most stereotypical character of all time, and by the end of the season, he had one of the most compelling and unique arcs among the whole cast!

finally, at the very end of the season, instead of dumping steve for jonathan as expected, nancy ends up getting back together with steve, and they’re both on friendly terms with jonathan. i realize that i just kinda. summarized s1. but my POINT is that i don’t think the dynamics between the monster hunting trio would be nearly as fun and interesting had the characters of nancy, steve, and jonathan not been set up to follow certain paths that we already had charted in our own heads. like, within the first couple episodes of s1, it’s pretty obvious that nancy and steve are gonna break up, nancy will get with jonathan, and steve will either die or go full evil or just never be seen again. like, duh! you’ve seen this story a million times! you know that’s how it’s gonna go! so, when the story DOESN’T go that way, the impact of each character’s arc and the relationship dynamics become stronger due to their unexpected complexity and authenticity. 

distinct plotlines separated by age group

this one’s rather obvious, but the way that the adults in s1 were essentially in a conspiracy thriller while the teens were in a horror flick and the kids were in a sci fi power-of-friendship story and all three converged at the end... wow. brilliant showstopping etc. not only was it just really well done and unique, it also gave stranger things near-universal appeal. like, there’s genuinely something for pretty much everyone in season one!

casting

obviously this applies to every season sorta by default, but when i think about what made season one So successful, i always think about the cast, and not just winona ryder. yes, she’s absolutely amazing in the show and it’s very doubtful that st would be as big as it is today without her name being attached to it from the start!! however, i think the greatest determining factor in st’s success is the casting of the kids, particularly millie bobby brown. like... el is just absolutely incredible. she’s amazing. this has all been said many times before so i won’t harp on it, but millie and the other kids are all So talented and charismatic and i think their casting has been instrumental to the show’s success.

strong visuals

the way that multicolored christmas lights which have been around for decades are now kinda like. a Stranger Things thing. jesus christ. those lights are probably the biggest stroke of stylistic genius on the show.

atmosphere and setting

this is probably like. the least important one here for me sdjncdsc because i think s2 and s3 both had like Even Better atmospheres and shit but s1 was good too and it laid the groundwork!! i know a lot of people would have preferred st be set somewhere more Spooky with lots of fog or giant forests or whatnot, and while i do enjoy thinking about alternate st settings and how they might alter the vibe, i think hawkins indiana was a good choice. as the duffers have said, placing stranger things in a fictional town allows them more flexibility than if they’d gone with their original plan of using montauk, new york. besides that, i think the plainness and like... flatness... of small-town indiana just Works. like, the fact that hawkins is never really scary on the surface is a big part of the horror in the lab’s actions and their impact. hawkins isn’t somewhere that people just disappear all the time. it isn’t somewhere known for strange occurrences (prior to s1, that is). it isn’t somewhere shrouded in mist and secrecy. hawkins on its surface seems like the sort of place with no secrets and nothing to fear, and that’s the point! the lab is out in the open! it’s right there! everything is so close to the surface, yet so far out of the public eye, and i think that really works.

the byers family’s whole deal (specifically the joyce/jonathan dynamic)

this is going here bc i miss it so bad in s2 and s3. i’m not one of those people who believe The Byers Are The Whole Point of the show, because st is and always has been an ensemble, and el, hopper, and the wheelers are just as instrumental to the plot as the byers, but ANYWAY, i do think the byers were one of the most interesting aspects of s1. joyce’s difficulties with supporting her sons as a poor and (implied mentally ill) single mother, jonathan’s stress as a result of having to earn money, care for his brother, and keep the house in order when his mother is unable to do so, and the resulting tension between them when will’s disappearance and supposed “death” brings the situation to a tipping point? holy shit! it’s so good! that argument after they see will’s “body” is just incredible and gut-wrenching. their relationship feels so real and messy and i think it’s just... good. also winona ryder REALLY acted her heart out and she carried a lot of s1 which i think people often forget to mention so i’m saying it here.

weaknesses

pacing/timing

ok so pacing is probably going to go in each season’s weaknesses, to be honest, because i think they all had a blend of some good and some bad pacing. good pacing is invisible pacing, though, so i probably won’t be putting it in any of the strengths sections and will only be focusing on it in the weaknesses. i’m also probably not going to talk about weird day/night cycle things, just because i don’t want to get nitpicky on timelines because that would require going back and rewatching things to double check timing which i don’t wanna do at the moment lmao. anyway, when i think of bad pacing in season one, i primarily think of two things: nancy’s little trip into the upside down and subsequent sleepover with jonathan, and the sort of staggered nature of the climax in the final episode. the latter is simple so i’ll explain it first: while i understand that each group’s respective climax is like part of a chain reaction and that’s why each big moment happens separately and at different times, i think that st is strongest when the whole group is together, and i think that makes the stakes feel higher too, so i’m not In Love with the way s1 separated everyone and gave each group their own climax. 

okay, now on to the nancy/upside down thing! idk if i’ve ever talked about it before, but i think the worst decision made in s1 by far is the inclusion of nancy’s brief trip into the upside down, wherein she dives headfirst into another dimension with absolutely no backup, watches the demogorgon chow down, freaks out and runs around for a minute, and then leaves. like... what the fuck? even putting aside what an idiotic decision this was (because i do think nancy’s tendency to rush into things headfirst is an intentional and consistent character trait), it just kind of destroys any remaining suspense surrounding the demogorgon and the upside down, and it accomplishes basically nothing besides scaring nancy enough to have jonathan sleep over, which is lame. i will break it down.

like, first of all, nancy just getting to waltz in and out of the upside down and get a good, long look at the demogorgon makes the entire thing far less mysterious, and by extension far less scary. like... before this scene, we the audience haven’t got a good look at the demogorgon. we’ve seen its silhouette briefly and we’ve seen a blurry picture of it, but nothing more, and i think that is far more effective at building fear than this jaunt nancy goes on which gives us a full view of the thing and makes it into less of a horrifying nightmare and into more of a humanoid animal. like, maybe this is just me, but i found the demogorgon far less intimidating after that scene than before. it also lets nancy and jonathan know For Sure that they’re right without providing any crucial information that they need to fight the demogorgon (aka it’s unnecessary to the plot), which removes a very compelling story element (the faith nancy and jonathan need to have in order to keep going against a vague and poorly understood enemy, the doubt they might have about each other and their own sanity, the possibility that they might be wrong, the trust they need to have in each other) a bit earlier in the plot than i believe is ideal. at the end of episode 5, nancy goes into the upside down and jonathan doesn’t know where she is and it’s intense!!! you’re thinking like, oh fuck, not only is nancy missing and fighting for her life now too, jonathan might be implicated in her disappearance!! some people already think he’s the one who killed will and people know that he took creepy pictures of barb and nancy before they both disappeared, maybe this is gonna cause some serious problems for him!! maybe nancy will find will in the upside down and she’ll help him survive!! fuck, maybe she’ll actually die!! this is huge!! and then episode 6 starts and they’re immediately like oh nevermind jonathan found the tree and got nancy out and she’s fine. my point with all of this is that nancy entering the upside down could have done A Lot in the grand scheme of the plot, but all it did was just... get jonathan to sleep over so he and nancy could have some awkward romance moments and steve could see them together and pick a fight. which could have honestly happened at Any point while nancy and jonathan were working together to hunt down the demogorgon, without ruining the demogorgon’s and the upside down’s mystique. so yeah <3

weird behavior and dumbass decisions that make no sense (aka the whole camera thing)

gonna go off about the teen plot again sorry but: why was nancy so unbothered and quick to forgive jonathan for taking those pictures? girl what the fuck are you doing? why wasn’t that a bigger deal? why was jonathan’s motivation for doing it so weak and why did they just kind of forget about the whole thing? why did nancy TRACK HIM DOWN AT THE FUNERAL HOME while he was PICKING OUT HIS BABY BROTHER’S CASKET to be like hey can you tell me what’s in this creepshot you took? it’s insane. it’s so insane. i mean i think the funeral home thing is hilarious and i don’t mind it being in the show necessarily but like my point here is that i think a lot of character decisions in s1 just kind of.. happened because they Needed to happen for the plot. like, they wrote this plot that required jonathan to be secretly taking pictures of the party and required him and nancy to work together after seeing something odd in the pictures, but they didn’t like... really consider what that event would mean for their characterization and relationship. the whole thing was sort of just dropped with minimal discussion and i think it did both nancy and jonathan’s characters a disservice and was really mishandled.

lighting and saturation/color grading

i am literally begging horror/sci-fi shows to let me see shit. i GET IT okay i understand that when you’re doing cgi effects it helps to keep the lights down and i’m not mad at any of the lighting in the demogorgon/upside down scenes!! i’m really not i think the demogorgon scenes in s1 all look sick!! but like... dude. the colors. where are they. why does everyone look like a vampire. i know blah blah this was probably an intentional stylistic choice intended to mimic film at the time blah blah but dude a lot of old movies are very colorful!! please just let people have color in their faces so everyone doesn’t look like a sheet of paper!!! also i’m white and not a professional lighting designer so yknow grain of salt but i think lucas was kinda poorly served by the lighting sometimes in s1. not Hugely so, not to the degree that i’ve seen poc be poorly served by lighting in other shows, but there were some times where it felt kinda like the lighting setup was just not designed with darker skin in mind. 

horror

i just personally don’t find s1 very scary like... ever. i don’t think they were really Trying to be extremely scary yknow so i’m not counting this as a big deal, but i do think that each season has improved on the horror aspects. i think s1′s horror lies more in the mystery and the unknown than in what’s seen onscreen, and as i’ve said already, i think s1 kind of fumbled that suspense ball.

season 2

strengths

the possession plot

i’ll warn u rn this whole s2 strengths section is probably gonna be really short bc idk like. how much there is to really say i feel like it’s all so self-explanatory skjncmn. anyway yeah the possession plot!! eerie as fuck, and noah OWNED. so did winona tbh and finn and sean etc but like. noah. wow! i think the possession plot helped the show maintain a good amount of tension and suspense throughout the season, and a lot of scenes with possessed!will are flatout disturbing to watch. in a good way. i think the mindflayer and will’s possession were far more genuinely frightening than s1′s demogorgon, and it provided a new layer of depth and intrigue to the antagonist besides just “bad monster want eat people.”

tone and aesthetics

halloween season... literally halloween season. halloween season. that is all.

actually i will elaborate a bit and just say that i think s2 did a good job of having the sort of foreboding vibe that s1 was often going for, but without the annoying darkness and desaturation. so points for that.

also st2 is like one of the best Autumn pieces of media ever like it just. like steve and dustin on those train tracks with the fallen leaves all around them.... god. god the vibes are unparalleled. all of the halloween stuff also really contributes to the nostalgia st runs on yknow it makes you think about childhood and trick-or-treating and you kind of get transported like damn... i remember going to the rich neighborhoods to score the good candy..... idk i just think the whole thing is incredibly effective. 

“babysitter” steve

by sending nancy and jonathan off together, the show created a problem: what to do with steve? this problem pushed them to create the unconventional and unexpected duo of steve and dustin, and the world is so much brighter for it. seriously though we all know steve and dustin are great i don’t need to argue that point. all i’ll add is that i think allowing steve to grow in this way, serving as a mentor figure and becoming genuine friends with someone so unexpected, really took the originality of his character to the next level. no longer content just to defy his archetype, in s2 steve begins branching out in ways that never would have been considered in s1, creating an incredibly complex and interesting person from the sort of character that most shows would have simply written out or killed off for convenience’s sake. and it works and steve and dustin are such a joy to watch and i love them. <3

the lucas/max plot

so first of all max mayfield is the most perfect baby girl on god’s green earth and idk what i would do without her but anyway. i think lumax is the best romantic relationship in the show and not just because they’re the only ones with like an age-appropriate approach to the whole thing. it’s also because their relationship accomplishes more than just putting the two of them in a relationship!! lucas and max spending time together motivates billy to do his evil shit, providing more conflict in the narrative, and it also helps establish max as part of the group in a relatively natural way while giving both her and lucas a great subplot. lucas (and dustin) has a crush on the new girl, they start spending some time together, and lucas ends up needing to decide whether he’ll keep the secret of the upside down and lose her, or risk both of their lives by telling her the truth. that’s a pretty big, character-defining decision that he gets to make!! max has to choose whether to trust this boy she barely knows and endanger herself, or to walk away and stay safe, yet another great character-defining choice that also contributes to the sense we get as an audience of max as somebody who’s incredibly lonely and desperate for love and connection. this post is way too long already and i have a ton more to say so i’ll stop now but yeah i think lumax really Works in the show without ever distracting or detracting from the overall plot and narrative in the way that some other ships (coughjancycough) often do.

balance between the normal and abnormal

s2 i think did a pretty solid job of melding daily life with more fantastical sci-fi horror elements. i enjoyed seeing so much of the kids at school in the first few episodes!! you really get a strong sense of where they’re at in life, what their daily lives are like, and you get a sort of gradual shift into madness that makes everything feel more grounded than i think it would if they had just leapt straight into the horror shit, yknow? 

the el and hopper dynamic

go back and rewatch s2 and tell me that’s not one of the most moving portrayals of parenthood and trauma and growing up that you’ve ever seen. you can’t. or well you can but i won’t listen. i really can’t imagine stranger things without el and hopper’s relationship, and it’s my absolute favorite part of s2. their whole dynamic is so beautiful and complex, and gives them each amazing personal arcs in addition! the black hole scene is literally one of the show’s greatest moments of all time. any given scene between the two of them in s2 is just guaranteed to be heartwarming as well as heartbreaking, and i think that makes for an incredible show.

weaknesses

flashbacks

okay this applies to Every season they All have too many flashbacks but in s2 specifically... please stop showing me shit from season one. i watched it. i know what happened. you don’t need to spoon feed everything to me!! flashbacks can be a really helpful way of delivering information to an audience, but st has a bad habit of not only being kinda demeaning in how often they flash back to shit that the audience already knows, but they also have a bad habit of using flashbacks almost as a crutch to avoid having to deliver information subtly and naturally. 

you know i gotta say it... the lost sister

this is so sad. the lost sister really is like a great concept for an st episode, and i’m not mad about the idea of st taking a break from the normal action to focus on one story for a full episode, but the execution of it was just dreadful. kali and her crew feel very over-the-top and stereotypical, and its placement in the season totally kills the tension and excitement that was built in “the spy.” 

i think the lost sister honestly could have gone over far better, even with the stereotypical fake-feeling gang kali has, if they had just swapped it with “the spy” like... ok, the end of episode five has el setting off to find kali and will collapsing on the ground seizing. right? imagine if, instead of immediately following will to the lab, we’d followed el. we don’t know what’s happening with will, but it’s a very simple cliffhanger that leaves us on edge without making us feel cheated by the show cutting away. we follow el on her little journey, everything happens much the same as canon, and then at the end, el sees hopper in scrubs. she sees mike, screaming, sees that they’re both in danger. holy shit!!! what the fuck!!! what’s happened since we left will seizing on the ground??? we feel el’s fear and confusion. she decides to go home. and then... boom. “the lost sister” is over. now, we rewind, right back to will seizing on the ground, and “the spy” commences. we learn how they got into the danger that el saw in the end of “the lost sister,” and we sit on the edge of our seats all through “the spy” and “the mind flayer,” KNOWING that el is on her way back to save them but not knowing when she’ll arrive!! idk i don’t think that would have necessarily saved lost sister but i think it may have alleviated some of the issues that i and many others have with it, timing-wise.

the nancy/jonathan sidequest

once again, the idea of nancy going off on her own little mission to find justice for barb after s1 is like. amazing. genuinely i love that plot for her and i can’t imagine anything better for her to have focused on in s2. unfortunately though i think her and jonathan’s little trip to see murray was just kind of... lame. the whole thing just felt like an excuse to get the two of them alone together, yknow? which is fine i guess people contrive all sorts of situations to get characters alone together for romance reasons but in this case i think it just really doesn’t work for me because of what it’s juxtaposed with. like, will is POSSESSED, and jonathan is just off on a mini road trip and sleeping with his bestie, and jonathan never seems to communicate to joyce/will that he left town, and joyce never like... thinks to tell him that will is like sick and fucked up and they’re looking at him in the lab??? like it’s so weird i know joyce always forgets about jonathan when shit’s happening with will but jfc you’d think at some point in that like... 72-ish-hour period where jonathan was out of town she would have thought about him. like at least once. maybe i’m forgetting something and she mentioned him sometime and i missed it but even still, i hate the juxtaposition of nancy and jonathan just like cheers-ing at murray’s place and sleeping together and whatnot while everyone else is dealing with possession or trying to hunt down dart yknow? it feels really boring in comparison and i think it could have been done far better. like it was SO insanely easy for them to get into the lab and get an admission of guilt and escape with it!! i think it might have been a lot more engaging if maybe someone from the lab tailed them to murray’s place and they had to like lose the tail and race to get the recording out to as many news outlets as possible before they got caught, or something like that. the tension in their plotline is completely resolved in episode four!! episodes five and six are just them screwing around and addressing envelopes. while there were a lot of strong ideas in this plotline (i really enjoy nancy going out of her way to get justice, and the fact that they have to water down the story to make it believable), i just think the focus on nancy and jonathan getting together hindered it a lot without adding a ton to the plot or their individual characters.

season 3

strengths

starcourt mall as a setting

while i don’t think the mall was utilized quite to its full potential (something i could make a separate post about if anyone’s interested), i do think that starcourt was a genius addition to the series. i’ve said this before, but building a new mall is a literal Perfect in-universe justification for a significant leap forward in fashion and aesthetics, and it provides a great location for characters to just... be characters. idk how else to articulate this i just think that the mall is a great setting to let people interact with each other and to bring people together who may not have been otherwise (i.e. scoops troop). not to mention how sick it was to see the mall get wrecked toward the end kdjncdkm like they were able to do so much more with the mall in terms of like The Finale than they could with just the byers house or the cabin or the school or even the lab. i love all the back tunnels they run through it’s such a fun like acknowledgement of how this glitzy eighties mall is just a real place where employees get shipments and take out the trash and shit idk it’s all about the perfect facade and what’s hidden what’s underneath what’s hiding in plain sight etc etc i’m just saying words now. anyway. 

willingness to experiment and go against expectations

gay robin. neon aesthetics. giant fucking meat monster. i know some people hate both the neon and the meat monster but i personally think they were kind of amazing and like. yknow regardless of personal tastes i think it’s impossible to deny that s3 had a lot of incredible visuals, and they’re all visuals that just wouldn’t have been possible if the show were too afraid to stray from its s1 aesthetic. robin being canonically gay (and her resulting friendship with steve) and the season’s striking visuals are two things that most everyone (besides like homophobes skjncdknm) can agree were great, right? and they were both departures from where the show began and what we all expected!! so yeah i think while some of the experimentation in s3 wasn’t ideal it was also that experimentation that allowed for some of the season’s strongest elements to come about.

the hospital sequence (and the season’s action/horror scenes in general)

this one is fairly self-explanatory. while they may have underutilized the “body snatching” element of the season, the hospital sequence with nancy and jonathan fighting off their possessed bosses did an amazing job of building tension and creating a genuine sense of really intense and personal danger.

in general i think that s3 melded action and horror rather well, particularly in the sauna test, the hospital, and when the mindflayer busts through the roof of hop’s cabin. horror can come from many things, and in this case, st elicited horror largely from the feeling of helplessness, and it was really effective for me personally. i think it worked better for me than s1′s brand of horror because it doesn’t rely so much on a lack of knowledge or a sense of suspense that inevitable disappears upon a second viewing.

the body horror we got in s3 was also really fun! that’s it i just think all the blood and guts and slime were fun and i would like more of them. once again, the impacts of body horror are less dependent upon the viewer being in the dark or unsure as to what’s happening, and as such i think it tends to be a little more effective at eliciting reaction in the long term.

timing and mechanics of the battle of starcourt/finale

i think the battle of starcourt is just fucking awesome, and beyond that personal opinion, i think it’s the most high-stakes and intense finale of all three seasons, and this is for two main reasons! 1. el is out of commission, and 2. (almost) everyone is in the same cental location. this means that (almost) everyone is in danger all at once, and they are all working together at the same time to fight the same threat. s1/s2 have their groups more fragmented for the finales, and while i understand why in each case and i wouldn’t call either season’s finale necessarily weak, i do think the centralized nature of the s3 finale just Works on another level. in s1 and s2, large segments of the cast are already perfectly safe by the time el dispatches the primary threat. in s3, however, everybody save for dustin and erica is still in danger up until the last moment, and el is seemingly (you can def debate how much power she still had in her when she peeked into billy’s mind and whether the memory broke the mindflayer’s hold on him or if she was actually controlling him to some degree) completely vulnerable. this increases the tension and raises the stakes, making the finale a real crescendo to fortissimo as opposed to a series of little mezzo forte moments. i hope everyone reading this knows music idk how else to phrase that my brain is stupid.

emphasis on friendship and adolescence (but in a different way than s1/2)

this is definitely a controversial one but i think that s3 really did like... show a side of friendship that had been more or less unexplored thus far in the show. el and max were amazing, and i think it’s really nice that we got an opportunity to see the kids have some growing pains as well as see them support each other through Normal Adolescent Stuff like boyfriends and breakups instead of just like. death and trauma. this is maybe just a personal preference, but i think it can be really enlightening and provide a lot of depth when you get to see how characters respond to normal everyday conflict and not just how they respond to giant world-ending conflict!! letting el use her powers for goofy teenage shit like spying on boys and messing with mean girls at the mall is not only fun for her and the audience, but it also really emphasizes just how much those powers are a part of el, making it that much more devastating when she loses them at the end of the season. 

weaknesses

tonal dissonance

so this is like. obvious. but it must still be said! i won’t go on and on about it since we all know this so i’ll try to like talk about it from an angle people don’t usually? anyway. it seems to me like they were maybe a little worried about s3 being too dark. while the choice to really lean into humor was definitely driven by the sorts of eighties teen films from which s3 drew inspiration (like fast times at ridgemont high), i think it was also done in an attempt to alleviate the more troubling implications of some events in the season, particularly the russian bunker plot. like, yeah, st can be incredibly dark, but if they’d played the whole “children being stuck inside of a foreign military base, tied up, tortured, and drugged” thing completely straight without the humorous elements that exist in canon, it had the potential to be like... disturbing on a new level. steve and robin don’t have powers like el yknow their kidnapping/torture doesn’t have any sci-fi elements to sorta soften the blow. they’re just innocent teenagers being brutalized and traumatized by grown men. so anyway yeah i think maybe the writers were concerned about this storyline coming off as too dark and they wanted it to be a little more whimsical but they ended up pushing way too hard in that direction and creating extreme dissonance at times. this goes for joyce/hopper/murray/alexei too, but to a lesser extent. i think the ridiculousness in that group felt a lot more like... realistic. but still. 

newspaper plot

once again i feel like i don’t even need to say this skjdncmn we all know it was insane how the show basically ended up delivering the message “while misogyny is a serious problem poverty and classism are not” and i’ve said it on this blog a million times so i don’t need to repeat myself. i’ll focus on another weak point of this plot: the fact that it completely separates nancy and jonathan from everyone else. once again, the show’s preoccupation with j/ancy held them back! like... can you imagine a version of s3 where nancy and jonathan both worked in the mall? i have a lot of ideas about this possible au and like how the plot could play out differently if they worked in the mall but first of all it’s just more realistic, second of all it further utilizes the mall as a central setting, and third of all, it would bring everyone together. as it is in canon, nancy and jonathan were unnecessarily isolated from the rest of the group, and this isolation was detrimental to both of their characters. like, they only ever get to interact with each other! if they’d gotten summer jobs in the mall, they could have had more interactions with the kids/steve/robin, and they absolutely still could have had a similar argument! maybe in this case, nancy notices the rat thing (or something else odd) herself when taking out the trash behind the mall, and she wants jonathan to ditch work with her to check it out bc she thinks it may be related to the lab. jonathan doesn’t want to ditch work because he needs his job, nancy argues that they’re working shitty mall jobs anyway and who cares if they get fired, and we get more or less the same thing as s3 without the cartoonishly over-the-top misogyny. i mean honestly i think the rat shit could have been cut entirely it didn’t rly... accomplish much of anything. in my opinion. like imagine s3 without the rat plot you literally would not be missing anything except it would be more surprising when the dudes melted into goo at the hospital. so yeah i think it would have been better if nancy and jonathan had jobs at the mall, weren’t isolated from everybody else, and were maybe absorbed into the party’s plot or the scoops troop’s plot from very early on, allowing them to interact with more characters and have a less... dumb.... plot. like god splitting up nancy and jonathan between the party/scoops troop would have been So Much better i just. sdkjcnksdmn anyway yeah.

briefness of group reunion/separation of groups

remember in s2 at the beginning of “the gate,” where mike and hopper had a confrontation and max and el met for the first time and el hugged everyone and steve and nancy had their sad little moment together outside... where’s that energy? obviously the s2 reunion wasn’t that long either, but it made space for some significant emotional moments to take place. s3′s reunion had some hopper/el/mike resolution, but besides that... there was nothing, really. i just think that the whole group getting together in s3 was SO exciting and powerful the way they did it (with both the scoops troop and the adults having their own Big Moment reconnecting with team griswold family), but the emotional potential was more or less squandered. 

i also think in s3 at times they were really stretching to keep everybody separated even though it made no sense. and like... in s1 the separation worked bc nobody else knew that (x group) was experiencing weird shit too, and beyond that, each group (as i mentioned in the s1 section) was sort of operating within their own genre and bringing something unique to the season. they’ve stopped doing that though! now, the groups aren’t separate bc each plot is tonally/structurally different, the groups are just separate bc... they need to be, because it’s a big ensemble cast and you can’t just have them all be together for a whole season or it would be way too difficult to coordinate things and keep the show dynamic. all this is to say that i’m excited for s4 because the location differences make it so there’s a Reason for each plot to be separate at the beginning, and i think that’ll work better.

general ridiculousness

i dont mean like i think it’s bad that they made jokes this is just me lumping in all the dumb shit like hopper not worrying about el and not wanting to check on the kids, him and joyce bickering long after they both know they and their children are in danger, max seemingly forgetting that billy is a racist abuser, etc etc. i think many of these are just a symptom of the show 1. trying desperately to keep the groups split up a certain way even though it may not make any sense, and 2. trying to fit into a certain genre/trope mold when their actual characters are more complex than the tropes they’re imitating. this is so fucking long already i am not gonna elaborate further rn but i trust u all know what i mean.

soooo... yeah, that’s about all! i mean it’s not all there are definitely many more things i could talk about and i know i focused sorta disproportionately on the teens which is my bad :/ but i’m done for now. thank you for asking, and apologies for the delay in responding!! i’m sure some people reading (if anyone read this far) will disagree with some of what i’ve said and that’s alright like i’m not The Authority on st or anything i’m just trying to talk about like my own thoughts yknow? so yeah luv u all i hope someone enjoyed reading this!!

[spxllcxstxr]

Bridge Over Troubled Water • R.L

(Gif not mine)

Requests: can you do a blurb with Remus where the reader is nervous and anxious, maybe has a tough week and he gives her a massage and helps her relax? — anon and Hi! can you write an imagine where the reader is dating Remus and is disappointed in her school grades / results and is overall doubting herself and is disappointed with herself? — @emmaev

Summary: Things are getting really tough. Remus is here for you.

Warnings: mention of food, not eating/skipping a meal, hunger, depression, anxiety, a bit of a panic attack, homework, school, self deprecating thoughts, kinda take how we’re feeling in this pandemic and that’s kinda what this fic is, Snape being an ass for like two sentences, crying

Word Count: 1.7k

A.N: I hope it’s alright that I combined your two requests. But, I decided to make it longer with a lot more comfort. I really hope it’s ok with you guys ❤️ Kinda a vent fic? So that’s why it’s lowkey all over the place and the ending is sorta..abrupt? I hope you like it, though. I wanna say that I’m always here for you guys. This whole thing has been kicking my ass and school has been extremely tough for me, so know that you’re not alone. Know that you’ve got this. I believe wholeheartedly in you. Love you all. ❤️

Title: Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

****

You trudge up the stone steps to the boys dorms, your bag dragging heavily behind you. With your robes slipping from your shoulders and your tie dangling loosely around your neck, you almost consider letting your bag go. Watching the heavy sack of books tumble recklessly down the spiral staircase seems like a great idea to you. However, you make it to the sixth year dorms before you’re able to loosen your grip.

The oak door was closed but not locked. What use was a lock when the door was charmed to singe off the eyebrows of any unwelcome visitor? Thankfully, the boys granted you complete access to their room in third year, so the door couldn’t harm you.

Turning the brass doorknob and stepping through the threshold, you’re greeted by somewhat organized chaos.

Sirius and Peter’s side of the room was a complete disaster while James and Remus’ side was at least nicer to look at. Sure a few books were scattered on the floor and James’ red and yellow underwear was hanging from his bedpost visible to anyone who walked in, but that’s nothing compared to whatever the other two have going on. You don’t even want to look at it, knowing full well that just one tiny glance would make your already terrible day worse.

The room is empty and completely quiet, the boys, just like every other person in the castle, were down in the Great Hall for dinner. At the thought of dinner just downstairs, your stomach grumbles before quickly churning in agony.

Quickly, you dump your bag next to the door and go through Remus’ drawers, searching for that one specific jumper.

It’s the deep blue cable knit one that always smells like him. The jumper is soft and warm and the perfect piece of clothing to cuddle into when you needed a good cry. And Godric, you needed a good, long, ugly cry.

After finding it and throwing it on, you barely lift up your feet walking to your boyfriend’s bed to get swallowed up by his blankets.

The weight of the day hits you full force the moment your head collides with his pillow, and your lips wobbles, the day replaying in your mind.

Your morning started with a Transfiguration exam that definitely was not on what you studied all night for.

Then, your potion bubbled out of your cauldron and started disintegrating the stone flooring, making Slughorn shoot you very disappointed look that made you want to disappear into the Forbidden Forest forever.

Defense Against the Dark Arts turned into a complete disaster as well when Professor Bluebell handed back your essays on inferi, and yours ended up with a spikey red D scrawled angrily on the top. D, which stands for Dreadful, as Snape snidely reminded you from over your shoulder. He flashed you smug little smirk along with the delicate O that adorned his own essay.

And to top it all off, you had to meet up with Flitwick right after classes to go over the vinegar to wine charm that for some reason wouldn’t work for you no matter how hard you tried. And you still weren’t successful.

This was becoming a common occurrence.

You always knew that your N.E.W.T. year was going to be tough, but Merlin, you never expected it to be this awful.

Classes were longer and harder and your professors were relentless and unforgiving with the amount of homework and exams they started handing out.

Sure you had more free periods, but those were filled with research and essays and studying, you had no free time at all—it was all a lie.

You couldn’t escape it. Sleep was just more time to be plagued by anxiety to the point you barely even slept at all. Most of the time you stared blankly up at the ceiling thinking about all the assignments you could be doing instead.

It’s this torturous and vicious cycle that you just can’t get out of.

And your motivation was quickly disappearing.

It was getting tougher and tougher each time to even do your homework. Lifting up your quill and taking out a stack of parchment was just difficult. It took too much energy out of you.

Smothering your face in Remus’ pillow, you groan out your frustration, balling your fists around the frayed sleeves of the jumper.

You’re so wrapped up in your despair and panic that you don’t hear the door creak open and four sets of footfalls and laughter bounce around the room.

“Damn, what’s up with you?” Sirius chuckles. You hear him flop onto his own bed.

You bury your nose in the fabric of the jumper, inhaling the sweet and comforting scent of chocolate and old parchment that always accompanies Remus Lupin.

“Don’t be a git, Pads.” Remus scoffs, making his way towards you.

He crouches down by your head, placing a delicate thumb on your cheekbone.

“Darling, what’s wrong?” His tone turns soft, drenched with concern.

You squeeze your eyes shut tight, tears trickling down the bridge of your nose and dripping down to the white sheets.

“Alright, darling, hold on.” Remus whispers, placing a dainty kiss on your forehead.

He straightens up, knees creaking the way no sixteen year old’s should.

“Alright, lads, clear out.” Remus declares to his friends.

“You can’t kick me out of my room, Moony. No way.” You hear James whine.

“Yes, I can, Prongs, c’mon. Go play chess with Peter or something.”

“But he always beats me.”

“C’mon, Prongsie, we can scam the first years by making them place bets on you winning.” Sirius suggests. His boots click against the floorboards, trailing towards the door.

Peter’s light footsteps follow after them.

“Fine.” James huffs dramatically. “But I’m not sleeping on the couch again, so no funny business.”

The door slams shut and once again you’re met with silence, though you do hear Remus changing out of his uniform and into more comfortable attire.

The bed dips underneath Remus’ weight and his hand gently starts to stroke through your hair.

“Tell me what’s wrong, my love.” Remus mumbles just loud enough for you to hear.

You try to swallow down the lump in the back of your throat.

“Just a very shitty day, Rem.” You manage to croak out, the words choppy and wavering.

Tears begin to flow freely, warm salty streaks making their way down your face in rapid succession.

“Oh darling.” Remus coos, practically pulling you into his arms and between his legs. You bury your face into his neck, tears dampening his scarred flesh. “It’s alright, let it out.” He continues to run your hair between his fingers. “Let it all out...”

“I-I’m just so stupid!” You sob, choking on spit. “Everything’s just getting too much and I can’t fucking take it anymore!”

He squeezes you closer to his chest, opting to stay silent so you can vent everything off of your chest. His cheek is pressed to the top of your head and you’re vaguely aware that you’re being rocked gently back and forth.

“It’s so hard!” You continue to wail, lungs constricting rapidly. It’s a struggle to keep breathing and your words barely come out fully, instead broken fragments are the only things spewing out.

“I’m a failure!” You spit out, face wet with tears.

“You’re not a failure, my love. I promise.” Remus tried to soothe, his voice adopting a small but noticeable waver. His hand rubs your back.

“I am! I’m a disappointment!” You sniff, taking in deep gulps of air.

“Shh...” Remus pulls you back a bit so he can see your entire face.

You already know you look disgusting. Eyes blotchy and red, tears streaming down your face. Snotty, spitty, wobbling, and watery features taking up his entire vision.

“What’s goin’ on in that pretty head of yours, hm? Let me help.” He consoles you softly.

You gaze into his warm honey brown eyes, glistening with his own tears.

You sniff, rubbing the sleeves of Remus’ stolen jumper across your face in an attempt to dry yourself off.

“Everything’s slipping, Rem. My grades, my mental health, everything. And I’m so lost I don’t know what to do anymore.” You confess. “What am I supposed to do?” You bring your hands up to you hair, tugging at your scalp enough for you to feel sparks of pain.

Quickly, his own trembling hands take yours. He stops you from tugging, instead bringing them to rest on his jumper clad chest.

You swallow harshly.

“I’m going to help you, (Y/n)—“

“You can’t help me, Remus! I’m beyond help—“

“No, you’re not.” He retorts lightly. “I’ll help you with homework and help you ask for a few extensions...we can get you back on track.”

“Remus...” Your voice trembles at his kindness.

“I’m sorry.” He rasps out, a tear or two slipping from his waterline. “I’m so so sorry that I didn’t see you suffering like this. Merlin, (Y/n).”

Shaking his head at himself, he brings his forehead down to your own.

“I’ll be better. I’ll be better, I swear.” Remus keeps repeating in a pained mutter.

“It’s not your fault, Rem. I got good at acting like everything was fine.” Your voice cracks.

“Still! I should’ve realized!” He mutters angrily.

“I love you, Remus. I love you so much, please don’t beat yourself up over this.” You plead.

He bites his lip, deciding to drop it, instead focusing on you.

“Why don’t we try to relax, hm? Just take a nice night off?” Remus suggests, pulling away to brush strands of hair away from your sticky face.

“But what about homework—?”

“Tomorrow, love. I think we deserve a break, don’t you?”

You shlyly nod, and he presses his lips to your forehead.

“You’re beautiful, darling.” Remus whispers.

“I just bawled my eyes out, Rem, I’m sure I look like a swamp hag.” You snort.

He brings his hands to your shoulders, rubbing deep circles into your back muscles. The knots start to dissipate.

“Never seen a swamp hag as angelic as you.” Remus flirts. But his voice is so sincere and honest, you have no choice but to somewhat believe him.

“Thank you, Remus.” You smile. “It means so much to me.”

“Anything for the love of my life.” He confesses, trailing his pink lips down your neck. “Now let me hold you close.”

He lays down, resting his head on his pillow, your head resting on his chest.

Things are going to get better.

Probably not tomorrow.

Probably not this week.

But things will.

•

All Character Taglist: @aspiringsloth20

[popculturebuffet]

July 4th Special Review: Celebrity Deathmatch : July 4th Spectacular W/Bonus Match (Comissioned by WeirdKev27)

Happy 4th you happy people! It’s america’s birthday and sadly it hasn’t been her proudest year what with a bunch of lying , selfish, overpolicing assholes deciding to ban abortion and cost people their lives and freedoms because they don’t agree with them, even worse given one of said assholes is a woman herself yet felt this was remotely okay, and two others are out and out sex monsters who somehow got to supreme court.  And yes I am indeed opening with that as while I love this country, I feel what happened in the last few weeks was disgusting and hope despite overwhleming odds we get it overturned. 

It’s been a few weeks caked with dread and being disapointed in our country, so I was thankful to take this review on as it’s a nice break, to take a second and not look on in shame at our country but look at what it’s capable of: a bunch of clay puppets beating each other to death in over the top slapstick while one of the ringside refs pretends to be a vietnam vet. You know something for everyone. So it’s time to get back in the ring with Celebrity Deathmatch

For those less familiar with the show, quick recap: Celebrity Deathmatch was beautifully animated and wonderfully stupid show on MTV, pitting various celebrties dead or alive, they had a time machine after all, in as you’d expect, fights to the death, basically taking the WWE Attiude Era style of the time with it’s violence and crassness and adding in celebrity parodies, wonderful claymation and slapstick yet gory deaths. The result is as you can imagine hit or miss: Some eps i’ve watched haven’t been very good with gilbert gottfrieds guest spot being unreviewable... he was naturally the best part.

But i’m happy to say today’s selection is a keeper. While there is some dated ness to some of the comedy here and there, this is the first ep i’ve watched where only a joke or two in the matches has aged badly. The rest of it works wonderfully and i’m happy to show it to you this america explosion day. I’m also throwing in a cool bonus, a match from another episode i’m doing completely free because i’ve been on a beavis and butthead kick for obvious reasons. You can guess which one. So let’s ring the fucking bell and get ready to rumble shall we?

Wraparound: As usual the show has a running plot with our commentary team, the infalppable Johnny Gomez and wacky screwup who keeps a great deadpan Nick Diamond. Today’s match is set on the 4th itself , and besides celebrating the day with america themed violence , some vetrans are present, including Johnny himself who served in grenda.. a country we invaded and was called out by various countries as “fucked up man”. 

So Nick fakes being a vetran and Johnny while clearly suspcious just sorta rolls with it because he wants to get on with the show. We also get our delightful image form that as Nick sneak attacks Johnny just to prove he was in nam.... and to show off his severed ear necklace. The punchline that he stole all his war paraphenlia including the ears is also great, as is them beating his ass. God bless our men in uniform. 

Opening Musical Number:

The episode is padded out after the card is laid out with one minute and 30 seconds of what I THINK are supposed to be the ramones performing a rock based version of various patrotic tunes. 

Match 1: Bill Clinton Vs Ken Starr

This is easily the weakest match on the card... in part because it’s a match between a serial sexual harasser who lied to the country, ruined a young woman’s life by seducing her (Though Mrs. Lewinski has not only bounced back but was a writer on the American Crime Story season covering the whole affair, which was excellenty), stringing her along and then throwing her under the bus to save himself, and a selfish republican asshat who went after clinton not because he was legit in the wrong, and he was, but because they wanted to bring him down and whose legal team harassed Monica for a full day, keeping her imprisoned illegally. Neither of these men are ones I care if they win. They both suck and I really don’t get what the point is. That Bill Clinton was charming enough to escape the consequences of his actions? That people loved him but piled shit on monica? Yeah as you can tell watching American Crime Story: Impeachment really.. didn’t make this the best watch, but unlike some matches i’ve watched it wasn’t unwatchable either as they did some shockingly good jokes on clinton’s word salad attempts to avoid perjury, and given how trod the road was at the time that’s impressive, and the finish is awesome: Starr in a rage attacks the crowd and clinton punches the fucker into the liberty bell cracking it.  I may no longer like the man.. but damn that’s fun. 

Match 2: James Van Der Beek (W/Bill Clinton) Vs Sadam Hussien

Look I haven’t watched Dawson’s Creek and with the Iraq War since this and the massive loss of life.... yeah this shouln’t of worked. But the sheer lunacy of the match makes it work: Teen, at the time, hearthrob and future best thing abotu don’t trust the b in apartment 23, and that show had Krystn Ritter so i’ts a high bar to climb, James Van Der Beek versus Sadam Freaking Hussien is just too insane for me not to love it from ref (lovingly dressed up like uncle sam) Mills lane checking him for weapons, to James using the asknig about the relationship cliche of teen dramas to sucker Sadam, to BILL CLINTON RUNNIN GIN WITH A STEEL CHAIR, to WMD cheeseburgers, this match is just too lovingly nuts for me to hate and you can’t not like James Van Der Beek finishing off a dictator with the american flag. Him getting arrested for it not so much but still a fun match. 

Main Event: George Washington W/Teddy Rosevelt vs Abe LIncoln W/Richard Nixon

This one is just pure crack in the best way. It’d be fun enough taking two cultural icons and having them try and murder each other.. but the show added in by having manly man and big drinker Teddy Rosevelt and walking garbage fire Richard Nixon as the cornermen, with Nixon naturally talking Washington into fighting dirty, from handing him an axe to convincing him he’s the best. Seeing Washington play heel is amazing and the best use of our founding father i’ve seen this year.. and i’ve seen him as a cannibal. It’s just such a contrast and adding in him using quarters as throwing stars it’s just marvelous. LIncoln meanwhile tries to be civil.. till Washington destroys his hat

Though he looses a leg to the axe, and for once a ref is useful in something resrembling wrestling as Mills Lane orders Nixon out and when he naturally refuses because Sewer Monsters don’t listen to orders well, Teddy decaptates his ass. I mean.. it won’t really stop him from doing his usual stuff

But it’s a valiant effort. We also get lincoln using lady liberty’s tourch to BURN GEORGE WASHINGTONS TEETH. This... this is why I honestly dont’ have a ton of jokes for this one. It’s just so glorious on it’s own what do I fucking add?  The final joke is also great as we get a mount rushmore of president heads, with Nixon in place of jefferson because shut up. All in all a glorious, goryious match. Go find this episode and because you stuck around here’s a bonus treat

Bonus Match: Beavis Vs Butthead

This was part of the episode Fandemonium III though you can find the complete match on the offical mtv youtube. And I recommend you do as this was fun. The writers of CDM got beavis and butthead to a point, and we even get them being slapped greatly after Beavis, as you’d expect, asks if he can do mills lane’s grandughter. Mike Judge even guest starred to do the animation and the voices. So combined with good writing it comes off exactly how you thinmk it  would: The two, given a bunch of cartoony weapons, being entirley stupid and not getting their fighting to the death , instead screwing around with weapons and nearly killing each other, going claymation thanks to fire extinquishers, and generally being themselves. We even get adults not getting how dumb they are with Nick and Johnny assuming their hurting each other is brillant strategy and not you know, a normal thursday for them. The finish is also awesome as we get THE GREAT CORNHOLIO who destroys butthead and shreds him .. and plans to use the shreds as teepee fo rhis bunghole which is horrifying but perfectly fittng. Thanks for reading and happy fourth