#not the actor. in my World of attraction for clowns

[sbnkalny]

You ain't ever seen my world famous TF2 video "Meet The Sexo"

I actually want to fuck the CLOWN, Not the actor. in my world of attraction for clowns, that’s literally their species. they’re not allowed to die.

[smth-intheway]

Charlie dalton developing obsessive behaviour would look like:

(Its not my gif!!!)

•At first glance, Charlie may seem like a clown without self-control, but this is only at first glance and we all know that you can't judge a book by its cover. In fact, this is what he wants others to see in him, and it seems that he succeeds because everyone believes in it. Charlie is one of the conscious types and he knows exactly what he wants, he is very arrogant and self-confident. He also knows that his plan or idea must and should work regardless the way he is doing it,even if he did not take much part in the planning, Charlie simply relies on improvisation, this has always been and will be the case.

•His behavior could be compared to a storm that begins when clouds gather in the sky and ends with broken houses and fallen trees. It is impossible to predict him and it is almost impossible to understand what he is thinking. Charlie's mood is changeable, and his brain is always filled with ideas that from the outside look like a mess in the room and only he knows where everything is.

•He is not used to show weakness and his vulnerable side, so his flirting/ joking manner of communication often protects him from disappointment in a person and the chance that he will get a slap in the face. As his father taught him, feelings do not exist in the adult world, and if you allow yourself to believe otherwise, you will run face first into the asphalt. He always encountered it when his parents gave him freedom, but not attention. They did not give him what he needed so much, what he was looking for. He wanted to be noticed, to be loved. So if parents can't give him love, then others probably will, don’t they? Charlie developed charisma and self-confidence in himself to attract others. He liked it and he even enjoyed the fact that he got connections among his peers and made many friends, which led to the acquisition of attention he craved so much. But this also led to some kind of addiction and the brain began to create repetitive reactions, repeating his behavior over and over again, which became the routine of our Nuwanda's behavior.

•He is the type of guy who is able to console you, calm you down and give you comfort in a warm embrace. And then, as if with a snap of a finger, his mask falls off and with a sly smile he will whisper words in your ear that will send shivers down your spine. He is amused by your reaction, you are his favorite spectator. Your attention is important to him, like applause for actors after a concert that seemed to be a failure. His self-esteem will rise and it will seem to him that he can do everything and everything is allowed by you. "If she liked this, then it definitely means that she will like that as well” But sometimes you are not just a spectator but a player ... he wants you to feel everything from the dough to the filling. When he gets bored of being an actor, he will change his perspective by calling you on stage. You will feel everything from head to toe, from skin to the very last thread of your clothes. He wants to see every inch of your face, your eyes, lips ... all this should give him a sign, whatever it is. Fear, delight, rage, anything to be seen. To be reacted to.

•Charlie established an order that everyone should follow, he himself handed out imaginary coupons with a long text to everyone and imagined himself as the ruler. It was with the Dead Poets when he claimed the cave and it will be with you. It will always be like this everywhere. He likes to be on top and feel superior to you, because you are so small and defenseless without him. Therefore, jealousy and discontent will burn in his eyes when his little bird dares to fly away from the nest of protection and seek protection in another nest. Yes, Charlie hates rivals, even if he treats them as worthless and constantly jokes about them, at some point he will understand that he is not alone in the world and not only he can make you laugh and make you smile. This will begin to infuriate Charlie, even more than Cameron by his existence. it will become his nightmare and paranoia. Previously, Charlie was sure that no one can compare themselves with him, no one can replace him with someone, because he is above every head that looks at you and he is more important. Each rival will appear in his dreams, penetrating his brain like a tumor, it will be a menace for his solid self-esteem and Charlie will begin to draw their faces on paper and tear them, cut them or write mockery. Then his anger will go into the surrounding objects, as I said before, his “storm” will begin to grow and the collapse will be inevitable. The last point was a love letter from someone else.. someone else dared to stand in his place and try to move him, for Charlie it is like a red scarf for a bull, like a challenge on the battlefield.

•He burned that shameful letter when he copied it word for word on his notebook along with the name, as if mocking that he could do better. He couldn't stand it anymore, he knew he had to get rid of that little parasite before he got bigger. He was lucky to be born into a rich family, a few words and the job would be done.. but he didn't want it to be that easy. He wanted him to see how much better Charlie was than him. To feel his actual superiority.

•That's what happened. Charlie gone crazy over it and got rid of the one the fence between you and him. He showed the other guy who was stronger. Charlie used 3 strategies to demonstrate dominance as they do in the animal world. Social strategies, which include bonding and coalitions. Display of signs, he always knew how to do it so that he could attract a "female" and finally physical competition, which includes direct fights to gain access to females.

•Combining all this, he became the embodiment of his "ideal" self and as he considered the only one worthy of your heart. But intrusive thoughts often penetrated his head that this is not the end and competitors can always return, because if not that one, then another will definitely take his place. Someone will definitely want to become one. He did not want to stain his hands in blood anymore and become a killer, so he decided to do what every obsessed person eventually does. Kidnap you.

•At first, he will be patient, keeping himself in check and trying not to provoke a conflict with you, because his early experience has taught him a lot. He will forgive you for any slap in the face and will hope that this is a temporary reaction to the confiscation of freedom. Charlie has perfect locks and doors made of durable material. He will hire guards to regularly check your room, he will remove all dangerous objects so that you won’t repeat the fate of his friend, Charlie will do everything and will think about the smallest things that have never occurred to anyone, only to sleep peacefully knowing that you are next to him in “safety”. He will be kind to you, but this will not always be the case. As I already said, he loves to play with you, in any sense of the word. He will scare you and put pressure on you from all sides. Yes, maybe he will give you privileges like communication with your family... he will go out with you. But it's not that simple, he is the kind of person who will give you a distortion of reality, the one who will give you the golden apple on a rusty plate. He will show you all the horrors of the real world so that you understand that he is the only one you are safe with. So that you will be afraid if he is not around, just like he is afraid himself. Charlie will not feel guilty for his actions, he knows that everything he does is for your good. His only wish is to be near the only one person he loved the most, even if it means destroying everything.

Notes: this is my first time writing any kind of fanfic and posting it on Tumblr, so I’m kind of stressed that it may look weird or horrible? But at the end I hope you will like it and enjoy reading this and my future works!!Love you all<33

[princess-glassred]

What about a Hanbrough/Reddie Enchanted AU? Like Mike is Giselle but instead of being cinderella adjacent he's more like Belle. He spends most of his days in the village singing/talking to his farm animals and obsessing over books. He's always talking about fantastical evil forces (like cosmic horror clowns!) And he can see his own clothes. Derry is basically your typical whimsical village with monsters and junk, and for the most part Mike is totally content with his same old life until a prince finds him.

Then Richie is Prince Edward but he's more of a flynn rider disney prince or aladdin, because he's always making sly quips and has a bit of an ego on him. Cannon richies gamer skillz are translated to actual skills in fighting monsters. He also enjoys singing his feelings, although all of his songs are more friend like me than once upon a dream. He rescues Mike from a troll living under a bridge and then the two are gonna live happily ever after as Disney princes until some one comes along and ruins it.

Evil queen greta and her little rat assistant Henry are very determined to ruin mikes and richies happily ever after. She banishes mike to the real world and sends henry after him. There in NYC Mike meets Bill, a struggling writer who is preturbed by this crazy man in extravagant prince get up. Bill doesn't have any time for this, he's trying to get his newest book off the ground and he's stuck raising his seven year old brother Georgie all by himself. He takes pity on Mike and decides to let him stay with him for a bit (mostly cause georgie insists they help him) but he quickly starts to lose patience with him due to Mike's strangeness.

He keeps ranting about magical forces and "the power of loooove". He acts like he can talk to animals (cause he can), he sews clothes out of his curtains, and he always says weird whimsical stuff like "My hearts with you bill, no matter how it turns out.". He's driving him absolutely crazy, but also he maybe kinda sorta actually might be falling in love with him.

Bill already likes some one else tho, Eddie, a no nonesense risk analyst he met through a mutual friend. Mike is nothing but supportive in Bills attempts to woo him (georgie isn't, he thinks eddie is no fun and his brother could do better), but its kinda clear Eddie and Bill might not actually be compatible. Then when Richie comes to the real world looking for Mike he finds himself surprisingly taken with Eddie. And coincidentally, he also realizes after going on a date with Mike that maybe you should actually have similar interests if you're going to get married.

Ofc everything turns out all happily ever after with Eddie & Richie running away together to get married in fairytale land, and Mike staying with Bill so he can open a book store. Even though Mike drives bill nuts he can't help but feel smitten by his belief in things like love and the power of friendship, while Eddie thinks Richie's wild nature is both amusing and lowkey kinda hot. It's a sharp contrast to Bill's more serious and nervous nature. Opposites attract and all that <3.

Also i feel its important to note mikes actor already played a disney princess before. Chosen Jacobs played a male version of cinderella in the movie sneakerella.

[b-skarsgard]

That Bill Skarsgård, 34, has a special attraction to the dark should be indisputable, but what is it about him that the characters attach to?

- Maybe it's a bit like falling in love with someone, says the actor himself.

read the rest at the link or under the cut. (translated from swedish to english by browser)

In reality, Bill doesn't look the least bit diabolical. The hair is well styled in a wavy James Dean bangs and is matched for the day by a knitted white polo shirt with a luxurious glossy sheen. Overall, he rather exudes a mystique, a bit like a movie star from Hollywood's golden era.

Nevertheless, he has repeated in many international interviews that it is something in him that these characters are drawn to:

- The clearest way for me to formulate it is that I attract them, and they attract me.

- It is a special process to be chosen for a role at all. You have to be inspired, but also be right for the role. So you attract each other, says Bill, but adds:

- After all, I have done an incredible number of different types of characters in over thirty films. But since the biggest projects are in a certain direction, like "It", you become associated with it.

In "Nosferatu" you are unrecognizable. Do you like to completely dissolve into a character?

- In some way, that is always the ambition. I like to find a voice, a physical expression. Making "Clark" wasn't me in any way either, even though he looks more like me.

- The challenge is that it is me who expresses the character, while none of Bill must be there. Nothing of a 32-year-old guy from Södermalm can be found in a 400-year-old Transylvanian count.

You usually succeed. My son has a fear of clowns because of you. On the other hand, it has saved me many visits to Gröna Lund...

- Haha. Is it that bad? Clown phobia? But I apologize. One of my childhood friends got it from the previous "It".

- I don't think I've told anyone this, but when he married my cousin, who is like a sister to me, we organized a kidnapping attempt for the stag party where all his best friends were dressed up as clowns. It was the thing he was most afraid of in the whole world. Someone thought it was too shitty, and that he would break down. But it went well. Then I forced him to attend the premiere of "It", and now he is not afraid of clowns anymore.

Does exposure therapy work?

- Yes, that's a tip. Haha.

But "Nosferatu". Of course you were in the running as Hutter, but then the role went to Nicholas Hoult?

- I actually got it. Several years ago. Then the "Nosferatu" fell apart.

How did you react to the news that the role was no longer yours?

- I was broken.

- I would actually have been in Robert Egger's "The Northman" in the role of Gustav Lindh, Bill continues and then describes how pandemic-related circumstances led to a schedule conflict where he prioritized "Clark" and said no to Eggers.

- "Clark", which I helped develop and produce, felt to me personally as a bigger challenge.

- So I explained that I was sorry, but that it was like this. But I didn't know if he was offended.

- Then "Nosferatu" was on again, and he cast Nick and then Aaron (Taylor Johnson) as Harding. So then I wrote an honest and pretentious letter to Eggers with the title "Wisborg in flames".

It pays to be desperate?

- Yes, if the desperation is motivated by something that is true. I meant every word I wrote in that letter, and I think he felt it.

I interviewed your brother Alexander after "Northman". He described it as isolated. How was your Eggers trip?

- It was up and down. I was also very isolated. Self-isolating.

- I lived in a hotel suite in an 18th-century building where Mozart had lived, and you feel that he is sitting in the walls. I walked around this attic and went a little crazy.

- But there was a madness in Orlok that was worth facing. I've talked a lot about my technical methods, but it was also a psychological journey.

The relief after the recording

How has it been to leave Orlok?

- An enormous relief. You don't always feel that way, but the last day of filming was a really tough fucking day. Not performance-wise, but because it was twelve hours in that outfit, and the soles of my feet were the only thing on me that wasn't covered. It means that the body cannot breathe.

- I was close to fainting and had heat stroke. My heart just skipped a beat, and I started thinking about that gold-covered woman in "Goldfinger"…

Who would have been suffocated by the paint?

- Yes, that's not true. But I thought about it. So when I was done, I was so grateful to be free of this evil entity.

What's next for you?

- I'll be home for a couple of days, and then I'll go to Los Angeles and New York for the premieres there, and then home to celebrate Christmas.

The Skarsgård Christmas is supposed to be something really special?

- This year it is split. Everyone is married and has a partner, so you have to take it in turns, and this year it's just been that everyone is with their respective ones. But last year we ran Skarsgård Christmas, and now we will all see each other in the days in between, so then it will be Skarsgård Christmas!

[tavolgisvist]

Roger McGough was a docker’s son who went to university, and in his poems caught the wayward nature of Liverpool speech. 0f the musicians, only John Lennon really matched him for that. It’s not surprising that McGough was drafted in by the makers of Yellow Submarine to give its script a tang of that Scouse whimsy which could easily pass as psychedelia.

His parallel pop career began when he met Paul McCartney’s younger brother Mike. Though employed by day in Andre Bernard’s hairdressing salon (an establishment for upmarket ladies, opposite the Adelphi; it’s now a burger joint), McCartney had artistic ambitions: he designed posters for his brother’s band and was infatuated by photography and Surrealism. He found his way up Mount Pleasant to the basement of the Hope Hall (later re-styled as the Everyman Bistro) where a curious group of young experimentalists were gathering. There they were, these strange people,’ Mike recalls, ‘Adrian Henri, Roger McGough, John Gorman - he was a telephone engineer, who knew how to make free phone calls all over the world - the painter Sam Walsh. It didn’t have a name, it was just a collection of people. In fact it was originally called the Merseyside Arts Festival.

‘We attracted this underground movement: Ginsberg and the beat poetry was getting to Liverpool then. Merseybeat was going on at the same time. We’re doing this up in Hope Street, our kid and the beat groups were down in the centre of town, in the Cavern. We’re near the art school and the university. That’s your marketplace. So our thing was different: it was poetry, art, comedy, rhythm and blues. We’d go into town to see the Beatles and sometimes they’d come up to see us.’

One day the TV people came to Liverpool to investigate these mixed-media happenings. McCartney, by now trading as Mike McGear, was performing comic sketches with a Joose grouping called the Liverpool One Fat Lady All-Electric Show. It was the TV people who picked a trio from the chaos: in Gorman, McGough and McGear they’d found a talented clown, a bespectacled intellectual and a good-looking boy whose brother was in the Beatles. The new group took its name, the Scaffold, from a Miles Davis record.

‘We were satirists,’ says McCartney. ‘Our main thing was to comment on life. A ladies’ barber, a Post Office engineer and an English teacher, jobs for life, and they dangled this carrot, said “Would you like to go on the telly?” So all these serious jobs, we just jacked them in. We realised that when comedy got to a wider audience it would be good to include music. We couldn’t do rock’n’roll because we couldn’t sing or play instruments. But we had this Cockney dirge, “2day’s Monday”, and George Martin was interested in producing it. We liked that idea, not because of the Beatles but because he did the Goons. We went on Juke Box Jury with it and Spike Milligan said, If there was a comedy chart this would go to Number 1.

‘Now that we were involved with George Martin and EMI we went to Brian Epstein and said, You’ve got all the pop groups, but can you do a theatre comedy group? Eie goes “My dear boy!” - ’cos he was a failed actor - “Of course. We’d love to have you aboard.” So we thought, with his enormous NEMS agency we had nothing to lose.’ But the Scaffold were frustrated by Epstein’s stalling over their next single, ‘Goodbat Nightman,’ built around McGough’s wry commentary on the Batman craze then raging. ‘It was released too late. Died a death.

We got disillusioned with Brian after that. I went out with him in Wheeler’s in London and said “Brian, it’s like a racetrack and we’re on the outside. All your heavyweights, the Beatles and Cilia and Gerry are on the inside. It’s just not working for us.” He says, “Oh I quite agree, Michael.” I felt like hitting him, to tell you the truth. So we left. ‘There was this other song I’d written where we’d thank the audience for coming along: “Thank you very much for keepin’ the seats warm” and so on, just to close our show. So we recorded “Thank U Very Much”, a good strong track. We had a hit there - it was Harold Wilson’s favourite record - and it got us on the telly in a major way. Top of the Pops!’

By November 1968, Paul was no longer the only McCartney brother to top the charts: the Scaffold scored a Christmas Number 1 with ‘Lily the Pink’. The song was just as insanely memorable as Thank U Very Much’. And thanks to Lily, the Scaffold were propelled from a world of fringe theatre groups and college satire fans, on to the lucrative cabaret circuit. ‘We’d created this monster of success,’ says Mike, ‘but it was the wrong success and we got disenchanted. You stuck to your songs and played the same bloody thing every night. We were bored and the audience was bored. That’s the tragedy of Scaffold, that we were known more for the silly songs because they reached more people, than the stuff we really enjoyed doing, the satirical comedy and the poetry.’

So the Scaffold resigned from pop and submerged their act inside a new ensemble, Grimms: the name came from their initials plus those of Andy Roberts from the Liverpool Scene and Neil Innes and Vivian Stanshall of the Bonzo Dog Band. (It was Mike who’d secured the Bonzos’ appearance in the Beatles’ Magical Mystery Tour.) There were contributions too from Adrian Henri, Brian Patten and others. Grimms’ shows were an often inspired collage of rock, comedy and poetry, and a chance for the ex-Scaffolders to rediscover the edgier aspects of their act. But the troupe was unwieldy, bedevilled by drink and personality clashes. One night, as their tour bus reached Huyton, McGear declared, ‘Stop the coach, 1 want to get off. And I did.’

The Scaffold re-appeared a few years later, signed to Warners by Derek Taylor, where Paul McCartney produced a stirring version of the Dominic Behan folk song ‘Liverpool Lou’. Mike McCartney would subsequently concentrate on photography; Gorman became a regular on children’s TV. McGough remains that rare thing, a genuinely popular poet; in 1996 he collected an OBE from Buckingham Palace on the same day as Cilia Black, while Paul McCartney became a knight of the realm.

(Liverpool - Wondrous Place by Paul Du Noyer, 2002)

Part (I), (II), (III), (IV), (V), (VI), (VII), (VIII), (IX), (X), (XI), (XII), (XIII), (XIV), (XV), (XVI), (XVII), (XVIII), (XIX), (XX), (XXI), (XXII)

[unnamed-blob]

If he likes me, takes me home

⇢ Pairing: The Other/Natalie

⇢ Length: Oneshot

⇢ Synopsis: After the scare in the maze and the ride cart, Natalie is obviously tense and on edge. It's alright though! It's a scare park, and what's the worst that could happen in the Deadlands?

⇢ AN: [standing on top of a wooden box, hands on hips] I am the writer and I! [juts thumb at self] call it canon that the scare actor in the cart ride was our guy!! Also you're telling me, the setting was in a horror attraction park, in a section where the actors could physically pick up guests, and the movie DIDN'T use it as a way for The Other to yoink Natalie??

Natalie pressed closer to Brooke, flinching as a zombie lunged at her, growling and spitting, before he lurched away and continued on to find his next victim. She grimaced and shrugged off some of the green goo that had launched from his costume onto the shoulder of her jacket, anxiously glancing back to ensure he was gone. 

The group burst into laughter at the jumpscare, before loudly clamoring over each other to proclaim the next best place to visit, arguing over the conflicting options. Natalie drew the jacket tighter around herself, tensely curling lower as she crossed her arms over her chest. 

Brooke glanced over at her best friend, noticing her unnatural stiffness and silence. She leaned in to link her elbow with her’s, drawing her closer. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You don’t look so good.” She tilted her head to the side, glancing up at Natalie with furrowed brows and a slight frown, scanning her figure. “Was it the zombie? Don’t worry, it doesn’t look like the jacket’ll stain.”

Natalie flinched, shame curling in her gut that her discomfort had been so noticeable. She opened and closed her mouth several times, struggling to find the words as she screwed her face in thought. 

“I guess I'm just-... tense. After the ride and the guy in the maze.” She explained lamely, raising and dropping a shoulder in a halfhearted shrug, focusing intensely on the ground in front of her. 

She didn't want to ruin the rest of the night for the others, acting like some toddler throwing a tantrum, but Natalie couldn't shake off the fear clinging to her like a second skin. It’d been bad enough to watch the scare actor stab the screaming girl, her fear too visceral to be acting, much less the haunting look of her eyes growing dim, the recollection making a shiver crawl up the her spine. Somehow, it’d become worse after the scare in the ride into the deadlands, the actor that had slowly crawled into the ride with her while she was pinned down curling too close to her for comfort, his eyes intensely focused on each twitch and struggling breath she took. 

Brooke squeezed her arm in comfort, knocking her head against Natalie’s shoulder, causing a ghost of a smile to flicker at the edges of her lips at the familiar, comforting action. 

“Yeah, well-”, Brooke started, releasing Natalie to draw her fists up in front of her, “no guy, creepy killer or stalker or what, is getting to my girl. I’ll punch him into next week!” She jabbed at the air, dodging in exaggerated movements before she tripped over her own feet, stumbling from the alcohol she’d downed earlier. Natalie caught her by the elbow before she could fall, breaking into a chuckle that Brooke immediately lit up at.

“Right, my hero.” the brunette joked, mock bowing to her with her other palm over her chest. Brooke grinned, leaning in close for a rebuttal before Natalie yelped, suddenly yanked away. The world tilted, her feet flying into the air as an arm wrapped around her waist and she was thrown over a shoulder. She pushed her upper body up against the scare actor’s back, meeting eyes with an equally shocked Brooke, mouth agape, as the killer clown bolted off. 

Taylor whooped and laughed obnoxiously in the distance, the others reacting in delayed shouts as Natalie dug her nails into the fabric of the costume, heart lurching at each jostle as the figure raced across the grounds, deftly dodging entertained groups. 

The scare actor finally slowed his pace once they came to the edge of the Deadlands, the area deserted and empty, with only the fences around that marked the end of the park. Natalie groaned to herself at the large distance they’d covered, trying to recall the exact pathways she’d have to take back to her friends.

“You can let me down now,” she grumbled lightly, shoving her hands against the clown’s back to try and peer past the empty stands, craning her head for a glance of the others. Where were they? Did they just let her get abducted? And no one chased after??

The actor gave no answer and Natalie’s head snapped around to the sudden creaking of a gate opening, wide eyes darting to the hidden, swinging gate that led outside.

That the actor was passing through.

Out of the park.

That- that wasn’t normal-

She yelped, slamming her fists against his back as her legs flailed in the air, trying to knock her knee against the actor’s jaw. He paid her no mind, easily shifting her higher up on his shoulder, holding her in place with one arm. He casually shut the gate with his other, as if he didn’t have an entire kidnapped, flailing college student slung over his shoulder. Natalie coiled into herself, drawing up, before lunging for the back of his head, latching onto the bright, orange hair on his head and yanking upwards. 

She gasped in mute terror as the clown mask easily came off, a second, familiar mask slowly tilting to look up at her, scrutinizing her as if she were a misbehaving child. Natalie stared at the same, scorched face that’d been following her all evening, heart lurching in her chest. 

She desperately twisted back around, terror grasping at her throat as she scoured the area for any sight of her friends, the sight of anyone. The figure easily continued away from the park grounds as Natalie yelped and kicked, scratching at his back. She gave a final yell that echoed through the empty grounds, her own petrified screams her only reply. 

⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡⪢⪡

“Hey, shouldn’t we have found Natalie by now?” Asher quipped, glancing around the area. They’d already circled the entire park twice, Brooke their steadfast lead as she’d call for Natalie every few seconds, pausing to listen for a reply before she’d quicken her pace once more. 

Taylor elbowed him in the gut, hissing at him to “shut up!” as Brooke visibly faltered at the words, slowing to a stop to scan the area, frantically turning in every direction.

���Hey, it’s alright,” Quinn soothed, stepping forward to curl an arm around her as she leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. “I’m sure we missed her while looking for her. Maybe we just passed each other trying to find one another. Ok?” 

Brooke hesitantly nodded in response, her phone already in her hand as she refreshed her messages with Natalie, checking to see if she had replied to her innumerable, increasingly distressed texts. Quinn squeezed her closer, leaning down to plant a kiss on the top of her head, before straightening and tugging her in a different direction. 

“Then we’ll check out the security station, maybe Natalie was the smarter of us all and she’s just waiting for us there. And her phone probably died.” 

Brooke nodded hesitantly, following her boyfriend with an obvious drag in her steps as Quinn cast a forlorn glance behind to the other two. Taylor shifted uncomfortably before she stepped closer to Brooke, enveloping her in a tight hug. 

“C’mon, this is Grade School, she’ll be alright.” She tried to joke but the words fell flat, the female swallowing at the sudden lump in her throat and squeezing Brooke tighter.

She’d be alright, nothing could’ve happened. 

If anything, Taylor shifted her thoughts to a lighter note, they’d all laugh at this later down the line. Maybe she could even use it against Natalie, teasing her for getting lost like a child in the amusement park. 

Taylor released Brooke, letting her hand fall to the other’s back as the group shuffled onwards. 

[gillianthecat]

I have got to get over my grudge against face filters or face-tuning or whatever it's called when they blur the actor's face so their skin is completely smooth and texture free and very pale and has no dimensionality.

I'm watching Light On Me, and I'm charmed by all the characters, but I keep getting distracted by the fact that none of them look like human beings. grrr. Like, it kind of fits the comic book tropey-ness of the story, but I still would prefer to see their god danged faces.

(Fun fact: Shin Woo's actor's face is the reason I started watching Light On Me in the first place. Kang Yoo Soek has a small part in Beyond Evil, and within a minute of his appearance on screen I was like, who is THAT???👀, and immediately went to MDL to see what else he was in. Turns out he was in a BL! so I decided it was finally time to check this one out. Maybe I'm just resentful about them hiding his face from me. On the other hand, Beyond Evil and Light On Me are from the same year, and he looks a decade younger in the latter, so I guess the filtering helps with that? idk, I'd prefer everyone's real faces. But I realize that with this, as in many things, I am not the target audience.)

My thoughts on Light On Me so far (im on episode 3 oops, actually it was 4): It feels like a high school romance comic book aimed at 12 year olds come to life. Which is not at all a criticism! But the aesthetic—bright, flat lighting, wide open spaces, saturated pastels and primary colors, the aforementioned face filtering—along with the trope filled, bare bones nature of the story give it this artificial feel. I don't read comic books, manga or manwha of any genre, so I could be wrong in this comparison, but it does tell like it exists outside of the real world in the same way that Disney Channel kids shows do (though not in the same world.) The characters, so far, don't feel like they exist outside of the story, not shallow, exactly, just that the rest of their lives and relationships are a vague blur, and the initial conflict—Shin Woo doesn't want Tae Kyung to join the student council!—feels like the sort of artificially induced high stakes of a kid's show. The—gasp—pratfall with a dildo.

I probably sound judgmental, but that's partly because super fluffy shows aren't my thing in general, and partly because I'm in a weird mood right now where even the real world doesn't feel all that real to me, but I reiterate, this is not a criticism. The show is creating a certain feel to tell a certain story, and (so far at least) it's doing it effectively.

And I am intrigued by the story, and the characters! Tae Kyung who has been convinced by the wise teacher to try making friends. Da On, the student president who is so kind and can't say no to anyone. Shiwoon, the class clown who can see what's happening but won't get involved. So Hee, the girl from the sister school, persistent in her three year (!) crush. And of course tsundere Shin Woo, possibly with some internalized homophobia, and who we know, based on Shiwoon's hints and the laws of Romance Tropes, must have a crush on the new boy and can't handle it.

The taundere seme is a trope I love when it works well, and loathe when it's bad, and I think it's working here for me because Tae Kyung is such a weirdo. He's no blushing maiden uke, he's blunt and doesn't care that's he's awkward, and still not sure if he wants to even bother with other human beings. It makes Shin Woo's attraction to him more specific and real, and makes me curious to see how their dynamic develops.

So even though the character don't feel anchored to any reality outside of what we see on screen, in the small slice of a tv world they do exist in they seem complex and worth getting to know.

(They also intrigue me enough that part of me wants to see these same characters and conflicts, but framed in more gritty realism style, like that of Weak Hero Class One. I think there's enough there to make it work! But that's more about my personal taste than anything else.)

edit: not that Weak Hero Class One is exactly realistic. But it's a different kind of fairy tale atmosphere. One that sometimes gets called "gritty realism."

[tiredcatsblog]

Jack with a celebrity MC, trying to keep MC safe from obsessed fans (including Ian).

Okay, hmm, let's think about it now!

——————

I think at first like this, Mc we have a bright personality with charisma and quite attractive appearance (although I think the main thing for an actor is memory, charisma and control of emotions, so let's omit the appearance, because it's actually you and me!)

First let's think about how Ian and MC met, maybe it happened in childhood, before MC became an actor. Thanks to their confidence, they were able to get into the heart of this insecure boy, because MC is not afraid to express his feelings and lead people. Therefore, their acquaintance is the same as in the canon.

And now the moment has come... the casting is announced in the city, which the MC has successfully passed! This is where the presenter's career begins. Ian is so happy for us because he probably wouldn't dare to do it himself. Years pass, MC's popularity only grows, and Ian falls in love more and more, especially when he sees us on stage / on TV or backstage, where we definitely invite him

"After all, my God, this is my girlfriend! Am I worthy of her???"

And yes, I almost forgot, imagine the moment when in an interview they tell the whole world "Ian is my boyfriend, I love him! "

This cute guy is fainting, fans either congratulate or write angry letters that he is not worthy of her! By the way, and this is what makes Ian think and start doubting himself. But the MC assures him that this is not so, because he is the person who has always been there, accepted all the shortcomings (let's admit, acting life is stressful, so there will still be breakdowns or some qualities, we are all people!)

But Ian still decides that he does not want to be in the shadows and will prove that he is worthy of us. He starts learning, talking about this MC, of course they help him in this, they say that he will be a great actor!

I imagine these days, training, move, how they both watch college!

And then they have to say goodbye, because It is leaving, although he doubted, because he was afraid to leave us alone, the fans are not asleep!

But MC assures him that everything will be fine, because we are strong! And on this touching note, they say goodbye, kissing each other goodbye.

"Don't worry, to see me, you just need to turn on the TV and I'll always be there for you, hahaha. Just don't give up..."

Everything seems to be fine, Ian is studying in college, MC continues to act in commercial or movies, and they also continue to communicate, sending each other hearts and wishing good luck .Isn't it beautiful??

This finishes them off, she cut herself off from the world, refused to shoot, even moved somewhere far away and did not communicate with anyone. MC just sits at home and eats all sorts of delicious stuff and watches TV, frowning every time he sees himself or the news about her disappearance. It just doesn't matter anymore..

Ian is bombarding us with messages, fearing for us... and eventually he realized that we were his meaning... And now why fight? That's right, for us! Now he is trying his best to bring us back and beg for forgiveness, but such humiliations cause only disgust and pain. That's where that obsession comes in..

" I'll... get you back.. I will prove that I am worthy"

One cloudy day, MC went outside and went to the store in a hood and mask. We have enough money for everything, but going to a regular store is not the best idea, in case they find out. Therefore, everything is usually done through delivery or a flea market. That's where MC finds the tape.

Jack... This is our sun, which of course we were afraid of. Like some guy at our house!?! Who are you??!

But over time, we get used to this clown, who, with his bright smile, makes us slowly come to our senses. MC tells him about his life, about that pain.. Jack tries his best to support her, because he can understand her stress!! (well, we do not consider the conclusion in the cassette).

Has everything really gotten better? Of course a ghost, but he is next to us, can hug, support, cook delicious pancakes and love.. It's finally become so calm..

But unfortunately not for long, fans, crazy fans who could recognize their idol by one hair color! But there were only two of them, but they did not allow MC to live normally. They were persecuted, sent notes with confessions, asked to return... and then the attempted attack.

Imagine their surprise when something invisible throws a chair at them or... even a knife. MC is all in tears, hiding in the room under the bed, there were several voices, then a crash and a scream... then silence.

After a while, MC decides to get out from under the bed and sees Jack, his savior, who hugs us with a warm smile.

"Don't worry, sunshine, I'll always be there for you and I won't let anyone touch you.."

It's even scary to imagine what he will do to these fans if they come for the MC. And if Ian? Who will probably arrive with a huge bouquet of flowers and will be on his knees, not going to leave. Jack will take care of it, because now he is our savior... although in fact there is still one crazy fan, the only one forever... .

——————

Well, I hope my first attempt to write something like this was successful, hehe.

[stormyoceans]

monica if jimmysea had to pair with another gmmtv actor/actress as a 'cp' for a series, who would be your ideal pick? for me...seakhao.

OH THIS IS SUCH AN INTERESTING QUESTION!!!!!!!

it's also pretty hard tho because while on one hand i want jimmysea to remain a fixed pairing and do as many series together for as long as possible, on the other there are many different combinations that i think would be very interesting to watch

like at one point last year p'jojo said that he would like to make a BL about the dating life of a queer man, without necessary having a main pairing, and that's basically my dream project for sea because i feel like GMMTV should start using his love for skinship and innate ability to attract men a bit more. we could have forcesea, booksea, earthsea, firstsea, taysea, offsea.... just take all the older men (as in older than sea) who are ridiculously fond of sea and pair them up with him!!!!!! seakhao would be INSANELY GOOD too, but im not sure the world is ready for such unprecedented unparalleled unmatched levels of joint slay and capital letters ACTING. also if im allowed to dream.. papangsea and seajamie. no reason behind these except the fact that im a weak woman

as for jimmy.. PSPSPSPSPSPSPS NANON YOU WANT TO DO ANOTHER BL SOOOOO BADLY I KNOW YOU DO PSPSPSPSPSPSPS. and so im officially coming out not only as a jimmynanon enthusiast but also as a waipran enjoyer. it’s never gonna happen and even if it did i would have to move to thailand to personally protect jimmy from certain fans but GOD IT WOULD BE THE DREAM. and now apparently i also need jimmygun because THEY ARE SO CUTE!!!!!! and jimmyneo would be really interesting even if i'd fear for jimmy's sanity by the end of it sfjskgfjsg also jimmynamtan!!!!! still can’t believe they didn’t pair them up for ploy’s yearbook SHE WAS LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

so yeah i actually have quite a few pairings i would like to see, but if i had to pick only one to actually have both for jimmy and for sea, i think i'd go with jimmynanon and.... probably firstsea, even just because of how hard i clowned about sea as sand's ex in only friends ;;;;;;;;

[24-7fandombrain]

Having just "graduated" from the first part of clown school, here's a breakdown of what clowning is because I know I'm going to be talking about it alot.

What is clowning?

Clowning is, essentially, the process of a performer breaking free from their inhibitions in order to truly act impulsively. This is achieved by putting on the red clown nose, which allows the performer's clown to come out.

What is a clown?

A clown is, for all intents and purposes, the performer free from all restraints and thought, to where they just live and feel in the moment. Clowns are treated as a separate entity from the performer, and in many ways they do feel like separate people. All clowns are unique in their own ways, since they are derived from real people.

Everyone has two types of clown: an out clown and an in clown. The out clown is the first type you will manifest when you begin learning clown. They are typically outgoing and energetic, though again, all clowns are different. In clowns are typically more shy and reserved, and are manifested after the out clown is fully manifested.

The only unifying visual trait of clowns is the nose. Some clowns wear full white face, others don't wear any make-up at all. Some clowns wear flowly, extravagant costumes, others just a T-shirt and jeans.

What is a clown handler?

A clown handler is a person who monitors a clown or group of clowns to keep them in target. It is a clown handler's responsibility to keep everyone safe, as their impulsively can place them or others in dangerous situations. The clown handler is encouraged to always ask more of their clowns and directly engage with them. Some clowns will require a clown handler any time they are out, while others will only need one for performances.

Where did clowning come from?

Modern day clowning is based on the work of Jacques Lecoq, a French stage actor and coach. Part of Lecoq's work is based on the use of masks to allow the performer to embody certain emotions or characteristics. The use of neutral masks also allows the performer to inject their own creativity into their performance. The prime examples of Lecoq's neutral masks are the larval mask and, of course, the clown nose. The clown nose was the last mask Lecoq would introduce to his students, as it was the smallest and most neutral mask.

Why clown?

Aside from it being the most fun you'll have learning theatre, clown is intended to teach actors how to be spontaneous and impulsive. Clowning teaches actors to listen to their gut instinct in a scene and make new and interesting choices.

What are the rules of clown?

There are six main rules that all clowns must follow:

No one, including yourself, can ever see you put the nose on or take it off.

Clowns must always listen to the clown handler.

Clowns can never look away from the audience.

Clowns always say yes.

Clowns can do anything.

Clowns feel all emotions to the max.

Meet Axolotl- My Clown

Axolotl, or Axo, is a fantasy world traveler, and they use they/it (or really any non-gendered) pronouns. They are strongly attuned to nature, being attracted to leaves, flowers, and other plants. They also show an interest in art, and especially drawing. They don't care much for what is expected of them, and has several times ignored their assignment in favor of whatever interests them in the morning. They're very "grabby", as in they will pick up any item they find interesting (they stole our instructor's glasses off their face before- long story). They are very energetic, and as a result, have little patience. They can't stand still and will get quickly frustrated if asked to do so. They can be destructive, having thrown marbles at people, nearly broken a glass, accidentally broken a glass, and torn up props. They, however, don't do this with malicious intent. Axolotl simply lacks the capacity to understand that they are doing wrong. Even when told off, they don't understand that they are doing wrong and may be doing the same thing just seconds later. Axolotl is my out clown.

[theniftycat]

I watch a lot of American youtubers and the way they think that the USA is the only country in the world is horrifying.

They think that because they know of The Portrait of a Woman on Fire, they know the entire history of foreign queer cinema. While just as a casual film viewer, I know of Your Name Engraved Herein (Taiwan, 2020) which is criminally underrated. There are also tons of other Asian and European films that played with ideas of gender and attraction over the decades, like The Crying Game (Ireland, 1994), The King and the Clown (Korea, 2005).

Or, how about the fact that The Birdcage that was revolutionary for Hollywood, was based on a French film almost two decades older?

Or, how we can only speculate about whether or not a Golden Age actor was queer because it was hush-hush, but in France everyone knew that Jean Cocteau and Jean Marais were partners and they made tons of great movies together in 1930s-1950s? And after Cocteau died, Marais wasn’t ostracized, but had a highly successful career and wrote his autobiography in the 1970s openly speaking about his greatest love? Marais was one of the biggest sex symbols of his time, mind you.

Or the fact that British cinema was a lot kinder to queer characters starting with the 1960s than Hollywood?

I also find it laughable when people call Ryan Johnson one of the most controversial directors. Please, Pier Paolo Pasolini and Ken Russell didn’t make films about priests, monks and nuns having tons of sex in 1971 to be done dirty like that. Both films were based on historical works and if you don’t know about Decameron (a horny, horny book of short stories written in times of plague in the 14th century Florence), you should check it out.

Speaking of Pasolini, I haven’t watched Salo (1975) yet because I’m not yet curious enough to overcome my squimishness about people being forced to eat shit for sexual reasons, and I have read some Marquis de Sade, so I can imagine what to expect.

Btw, why is nobody reading de Sade? He used to be big enough for Hollywood to make a film about him in 2000 with some A-list celebrities, but now he’s too edgy? You should at least try to know what the 18th century porn was like. (Non-con all the way, FYI, but every famous person back then read him and later too.)

You’ll never outgrow your puritanism if you never see anything outside of the US.

I’m not a historian or anything, I simply engage with the culture.

[disneymarina]

Given Marina 's romantic goth and fantasycore aesthetics, some scary actress roles she might portray in a haunted attraction:1. Victorian Mourner - With her dark hair styled in an updo and rimless glasses, Marina could easily embody a grieving widow from the 19th century, clad in mourning attire and clutching a single white rose.2. Creepy Clown - A simple wig change to orange and a colorful, oversized costume could transform Marina into a twisted circus performer. Her wide-eyed stare and pale skin would add to the unsettling effect.3. Medieval Witches' Coven Leader - Marina's dark features and petite frame would be well-suited for a mystical sorceress. She could don a flowing black robe, carry a wooden staff, and sport a pointed hat to complete the witchy look.4. Mummified Bride - With the right makeup to achieve an aged, desiccated appearance, Marina could be wrapped in bandages and adorned with ancient Egyptian jewelry, resembling a mummified newlywed.5. Zombie Apocalypse Survivor - Her slender build and dark coloring could work in her favor if playing a reanimated corpse. Marina might wear tattered clothing, have prosthetic wounds, and carry a makeshift weapon to complete the undead look.

**If Marina was a scare actor in a haunted attraction, she could be:**

- A ghost or spirit of a victim of a tragedy that occurred in the haunted location

- A demon or monster from hell

- A undead bride or groom still searching for their lover

- A vengeful spirit of someone murdered or wronged in the location

- A mythical creature like a banshee, wraith or harpy**As for Renaissance Faire themes, Marina could be:**

- A noblewoman or lady-in-waiting to a queen

- A peasant maiden or wench

- A fairy or woodland sprite

- A witch or herbalist

- A member of a noble family like the Montagues or Capulets from Romeo and Juliet**Her lore could include:**

- A curse was placed on her by a witch or enemy

- She was once in love but lost her lover tragically

- She has a secret: she's really a princess/dragon/demi-goddess

- She was wronged by a lord/baron and seeks revenge

- She has a magical gift/talents that make her special**Leon and Marina in a Renaissance Faire setting:**

Marina, dressed as a Victorian era medium, would be a perfect fit for a haunted attraction. Her gothic, mystical persona would blend seamlessly with the eerie atmosphere. As a scare actress, she'd masterfully build tension and play on people's fears.Some Renaissance faire themes Marina could excel in include:1. The Masquerade Ball - Her enigmatic persona would thrive amidst masked guests, adding an air of mystery to the festivities.

2. The Witches' Coven - Marina's otherworldly demeanor and knowledge of mysticism would make her a convincing witch, perhaps even the coven's leader.

3. The Court of the Moon - As a lunar-attuned medium, Marina would shine in a setting inspired by medieval moon worship, her pale skin and dark attire blending with the mystical ambiance.Marina's lore could involve:- A medium who communed with the veil between worlds, gaining insight into the afterlife and the secrets of the unknown.

- A seeker of forbidden knowledge, delving into dark magic to understand and perhaps control the forces that lie beyond the mortal realm.

- A guardian of the threshold, tasked with guiding lost souls to their final rest or preventing malevolent entities from invading the land of the living.

*You are dragged into a dimly lit house, the man with the skull mask leads you to a room and takes off his mask, revealing a very perverted and excited looking man. He looks you up and down your sexy nun outfit and smirks*"Well, well, well... what do we have here? A naughty little nun, huh? You're going to be so much fun to play with" *He grabs your hand and leads you to a couch, making you sit down. He kneels in front of you*"You know, I don't usually let people in my house on Halloween. But you looked too delicious not to snatch up. And those candies you were asking for? Forget about it, you're not going anywhere until I've had my fun with you" *He lifts your habit, exposing your legs and thighs*"Now, let's get started, shall we? First things first, those sexy nun shoes need to come off. I don't want any tripping hazards while we play" *He starts to unzip your shoes***Marina as a scare actress in a haunted attraction:**

- Character name: The Crying Girl

- Backstory: Marina plays a role as a girl who was brutally murdered in her home by her father.

Marina would make a great scare actress in a haunted attraction! Some potential themes and characters for her:Haunted Asylum: Marina could dress as a patient in a straitjacket, complete with dark circles under her eyes and a crazed expression.Creepy Carnival: She'd be a perfect fit for a creepy carnival theme, perhaps playing a deranged clown or fortune teller.Zombie Apocalypse: Even as a relatively small person, Marina could play a zombie that's just reanimated and starting to decay.Now, as for Renaissance Fair themes, Marina would be great at:Medieval Siege: She could dress as a peasant or servant in a besieged village.Royal Court: With her kind demeanor, Marina would make a lovely lady-in-waiting or maid of honor to some noble lady.Villain's Lair: Even the "bad guys" could use someone as sweet as Marina as a henchwoman or servant to a nefarious lord.As for lore, maybe Marina's character has a tragic backstory - perhaps she's a ghost or spirit who died on the premises, or a descendant of someone important in that time period with a curse or dark secret.Now, as for a detailed scenario with Ghost [ Especial halloween

Marina would be a scare actress in a haunted attraction, dressed in a Victorian-style mourning dress with a blood-stained apron, her dark hair in wild disarray, and a ghastly pale face with black lipstick and dark eyeshadow. She'd carry a porcelain doll that seems to watch you, its eyes gleaming with an unsettling red glow. Her manner would be cold, detached, and unnervingly silent as she stalks her prey.As for Renaissance Fair themes, Marina could embody:1. A mysterious gypsy fortune-teller, with a colorful headscarf, layered skirts, and intricate jewelry. She'd read your palm, revealing dark prophecies.

2. A seductive Elizabethan courtesan, in a sumptuous velvet gown and ruffled underskirts, her beauty and charm luring you into temptation.

3. A witch, in a long black robe and pointed hat, muttering incantations and casting curses as she brews a bubbling cauldron of mysterious potions.Ghost's lore includes a deep-seated hatred for Halloween, the holiday he believes corrupts innocent minds with perversion and depravity.

[fumifooms]

#As an aroace obviously obsessed with shipping. Me 🤝 Marcille very possibly being uncomfortable at the thought of being in a relationship #Considering her fear of loss + loss of control at categorizing her relationships and the Falin bath scene analysis yk the one #How she pushes herself to think of Falin as a kid still bc it’s more digestible and less scary. Bc change and aging and vulnerability #Like she could totally be super on board to get into a romance at a snap of fingers buuut there’s enough basis for how she could also not be

^ original tags Got more thoughts and decided to reblog instead of editing more in like a clown

Just to go into stuff I didn’t state clearly previously but is part of my general understanding of Marcille: I think she uses gossip and stories as a way to shallowly engage with people in a safer way. It’s easier for her to process her emotions and others through seeing the world in shades of tropes and words on a page which sometimes makes her think in a black and white way or get carried away with her own ideas. And it’s half that she grew up very isolated from peers, both because of age shenanigans and because she grew up in a rural place, so she learned social things from novels a lot, and half that yeah it’s just her comfort zone and reality can be harder to confront than fiction or characters you can interpret and understand on your own call.

And so and so, I was saying that she keeps an emotional distance from others that way consciously or not, where she always knows better than others even about themselves or their circumstances. She pulls away by simplifying people and putting a storybook film over her relationships, makes it less real less threatening less complex to deal with. She repeatedly removes herself from romantic or sexual contexts as a possible agent and actor, as an involved piece herself.

If we go by the romantic farcille bath scene analysis where Marcille pushes her away compulsively because re-examining their relationship is scary, that the thought that there may be other feelings than childhood friends is scary (rather than just having to confront that your vision of your friend is falsified and they’ve grown more than you realize)— It’s actually so interesting to me how she reacts to learning Chilchuck likes blondes.

She’s half-blushing in it, either from learning this or from the naked women succubi. She doesn’t comment on the naked thing though, and more interestingly her reaction is "you like blondes? Is your wife blonde?". Her first instinct is to make this about someone else, wether or not she did make the link and get the thought "I’m blonde does that mean he thinks I’m attractive?" she immediately makes this about anyone other than herself and grasps at her first guess. Like idk I think not even commenting at all on it ever, even afterwards, when she’s so curious about 1) his wife 2) everyone’s types as shown by her asking Senshi, shows avoidance… Though not necessarily a conscious one, not unlike my take on Laios’ reaction to his succubus.

The wife roleplay in itself is telling too. This is her way to think through and solve interpersonal problems, turning it into a story and distancing herself from it. She didn’t go "I think that your wife may have thought this and this" she goes "if i was your wife i’d have thought this and this", which seems more personal but what she’s doing here is making herself an actor in this so she actually has less presence of her own, it’s not her opinion but his wife’s opinion through her mouth.

Like it might feel more personal at first to go "let me pretend to be the wife for a sec and tell you how I’d feel" but, in a way, it’s instead going "I’m going to become this character so whatever I say it’s not my opinion it’s your wife’s" which I think is supported by how she’s unreliable with her theories from an audience perspective, she goes a bit overboard with the narrative and says that for instance she left to test his love into the night when in truth that seems unlikely, and we know she left during a work travel of his. She gets carried away, she’s not being objective, but she’s still sort of self-effacing, denying involvement through this roundabout way. The roleplay isn’t about her but it is about her but it isn’t.

She finds romance fun in others but also being involved in it is something she implicitly rejects every time we see it be a possibility, except for her succubus, which I think comes around to being about her needing a sense of control over the nature of the relationships she has. Because again, with a fictional character you set the scene, you set the emotional investment and story beats, you have the control, it's not real. Like she has the romance-obsessed label so people would expect her to jump at any opportunity to be involved in romance herself but in actuality, especially depending on again your interpretation of farcille bath scene, she seems almost scared of it, instinctively and automatically deflective and avoidant.

Good post on this I saw recently actually, real life example below both for aroace people loving characters and for the innate difference of romantically engaging with someone in fiction vs reality, which I imagine to be very close to Marcille’s succubus situation/how it felt to her.

In some ways it’s probably similar/akin to being lithoromantic or cupioromantic 🤔

… Wait right, since last week, actually I’ve been thinking a lot about Marcille’s whole disconnect with romance, distancing herself as an actor in romantic situations, only entertaining it in fiction or gossip etc etc, but like… I think she really did want a compliment here and was disappointed and embarrassed when she didn’t get it. And that’s like the one example we have of a scene with Marcille about romance where she’s involved & where the romantic attention is Real and seemingly desired/considered to some degree?

Of course there are many ways that this doesn’t have to be romantic, it feels nice to be complimented, and aesthetic attraction isn’t equal to romantic or sexual either so it can be separated to avoid discomfort (unlike the pretty straightforward sexual nature of Chil’s succubi type and the romantic-sexual one of the farcille bath scene subtext). In a similar way that Marcille liked to be courted-ish by General Hareus but that doesn’t meant she wants to marry him lol, she could like nice princely attentions like getting complimented as a well-dressed lady without any further like, involvement. I bet she’d like roleplay cafes hah like the ones where the waiters are princes. So yes while it doesn’t ~need~ to mean anything I think it’s notable and interesting, as far as I remember it’s the only scene where she in a way expects and reciprocates interest. Marcille’s mind rn: "This is just like in my novels…"

And next up, again on her relationship to Dalclan, why it’s important to her and what that reveals about her:

Interestingly, I’ve used this as support that she likes the brooding archetype before, but the "I am fated to never love" is explicitly framed as something she relates to, perhaps very deeply. Maybe she’s grown out of that particular thinking since then, but I think it’s very likely she at least has remnants of insecurity about it. How she feels about her half-elf heritage is somewhat ambiguous, she doesn’t seem ashamed but she does seem embarrassed for example. We know she has massive insecurities about outliving others, but maybe this also makes her feel undesirable as well, like others couldn’t love someone so different or so doomed for tragedy. For her differences, for societal standards, for lifespan angst, she in some ways feels like she’s "fated to never love". This could be a neat canon tidbit to base off what the core of this "instinctively pulling away from intimate relationships" thing is. It’s not about others and how they’re short lived or too complex or this or that, it’s always been about her, about how she’s not fit to love and suited to have all these meaningful relationships with people that’ll leave her in so little time.

[Edit in: In this way I think another example of a situation that could be very close to her attitude is selfshipping out of romantic loneliness. Here’s a friend’s discord convo excerpt that really made me think of this in rrlation to the picture above & her succubus:]

I keep getting distracted by sidequests rn but the upcoming Mar & Chil arc analysis has so much talking about this stuff because fantasy & fiction are the central topic, since it’s mostly about Marcille’s POV of it. I definitely won’t be going this in-depth about this particular facet of it though so this is a good post to make first I think.

And man this angle makes the "Don’t you want to meet my family?" "-gasp- I really do want to! -turns away from eldritch power and living in her demon-made dreamscape that can allow her to live in fantasy to instead go back to flawed reality with her friends-" all that more meaningful and striking. A fitting end to her arc, a fitting hook to get her to turn back towards her and tempt her to give up on being dungeon lord.

It’s always been just asking things and anecdotes about him and his family, never talking about meeting them, but by having someone so "fated with doomed love" open up and reach out to her "fated to never love", she opens up too, is willing to take the risk that any relationship entails, the same one that he took by offering it, the same risk they’re both averse to and scared of. By actually meeting his family she involves herself in the stories she creates. It makes them real.

She’s finally involving herself intimately with others, despite the real threat of loss that she will have to experience, wether through time and death or rejection. Marcille and Chil’s arc, man…….. See, this is why I’ve been tilling the fields of that analysis for months this is why I’m insane about them, not only is there so much to say but her relationship with Chil deconstructs her perspective on the world as idealized and influenced by fiction and fantasy and optimism. Like, he’s at the core of that part of her arc and man!! Man

Below the cut is extra thoughts I think are relevant and tasty bc the length is getting ridiculous

Tacking this on bc the topic cropped up earlier today and it’s topical to Marcille’s relationship to sexuality, so.

Marcille is shown to have regressive views on gender, being strict on gender presentation both for what is considered to be a pretty man (elven standards) and for women (feminine clothes and hairstyles), but does she have regressive views on sexuality? And I think in a ‘no sex before marriage!!’ way of regressive sexuality I think there’s some basis to it. Bath scene and just generally keeping romance sanitized kinda vibe, probably influenced by novels fairytale type of standards for romance and what’s "proper". But i will say she didn’t seem to mind Chilchuck’s succubi so that’s a point against it I think. I’m not sure if I’d call Marcille’s discomfort at Falin ripping her shirt as the chimera an example of this mindset since it’s a friend unexpectedly undressing herself in public yk yk, and otherwise she seems fine with casual nudity with Falin and being in just a towel around her party members. Like there’s no categorical evidence or anything but I think the assumption is reasonable, though i wouldn’t characterize her like a scandalized prude or christian saint or anything. Even with the stuff she’s more vocal about aka gender regressivity, like Laios and Falin looking alike in any capacity, she’s not that raging about it (most of the time, the shapeshifter monster tidbit was pretty intense all things considered lol).

Especially if we go the route that it’s subconsious I think her being on the more sex negative side makes sense and is reflected here and there… Casual physical touches & affection in healing and cuddling with friends is all fine and great, but slight sexual intimacy is offered and straight away she has to do a mental block on it, deny and pull back. Ofc that’s more of a personal thing than something that she pushes onto others and is bad, but yeah i think there’s sooome basis for it, sex only after marriage that sorta stuff. It’s harder to really tell bc Dunmeshi avoids sex a bunch but again the succubi are a point against this theory imo and more a point towards "Marcille acts like an ostrich pulling her head in the sand whenever romance or sexuality happens around her and/or tries to involve her" which is, as this post can point towards, my preferred reading.

I sometimes draw Milsiril-Marcille parallels bc of the stifling mothering tendency, but she also reflects some other characters, I should eventually make an analysis on her. The protagonist of Dalclan does visually remind me of Milsiril, haircut and outfit cut mostly, and I do wonder if that’s intended like with Mithrun-Hareus and the reality vs idealized fiction thing. Milsiril the recluse™️ instead of just the meek and fair heroine. And onto the Milsiril-Marcille parallels, Milsiril’s a bit like Marcille’s dark mirror: refuses to interact with other humans beyond ones she idealizes and infantilizes to avoid the complicated and sometimes hurtful sides of relationships like loss and confrontation. She can be overly caring and crowding, with how she gave Falin a bath and was intense about checking for injuries or scars, or how she of course insists about learning about Chilchuck’s personal life despite his clear refusals and reticence. Infantilization with, again, Chilchuck and Falin, like when Falin said "Marcille still thinks I’m about 10 years old" when Marcille was coming to get her —Which, some of that classic elf "I know what’s good for you better than you do" mentality with her attitude of coming to rescue Falin from her brother and take her back if she didn’t like it— Some unwillingness in that sense to part from her loved ones even if that’s their wish like Milsiril coming to check on Kabru. Very enthusiastic about caring closely after people, a bit regardless of if wanted or not… Oh, and unwanted physical contact too, again with Chilchuck early on, and how touchy feely Milsiril is. Sometimes I make jokes about Marcille’s flaws and then my brain flashes like……. Milsiril 💀…… And then I go back to talking about Marcillle

In a way, like Laios and party sometimes explicitly mentions, their journey and all this self-growth wouldn’t have happened if Falin hadn’t died. There is the whole "exceptional circumstances" situation where it made them take risks and grow closer naturally through the obstacles they faced together, but on another hand I wonder if being in a group growing increasingly not just simply professional but friends as well without Falin was the crux of her growth. (While Marcille initially made efforts to be social and liked by each party member to integrate well, she’s not shown to make efforts to hang out outside of work with them after that, how it’s mentioned they don’t go to taverns together etc. We don’t know how much efforts, she’s always been pretty withdrawn. There’s the academic pedestral she was put on that made it rougher to make friends I imagine, but now I can’t help but think that she kept distance on purpose, because ~relationships and friendships are something fated to end badly for her~ etc.) So yes I think she didn’t really try to make friends with anyone. Even, as far as we know Falin has been Marcille’s only friend ever. Falin is her comfort zone, even if it’s a comfort zone she does a lot of metaphorical mind-block cleaning and caring remodelling in. She’s her comfort doll she wants to always carry around with her. Think she clings onto Falin a lot, defaults to just sticking by Falin, etc. Much like Laios, losing her was their catalyser to open up to other people in their lives too instead of just her.

The lion ate her desire to take care of her hair… To pretty it up and arrange it. Instead it becomes something that people around her have to do for her. Something caring and patient and in an atmosphere of no judgement. How fitting an end for her, who considered herself so undesirable, a mule, who sought social recognition through achievements, academic and professional with the classmates at the academy and the party during the mandrake collecting, so so afraid of being unwanted, a burden.

This is giving me emotional damage help me. I might have to redo this into a proper & clean analysis post after all... You poor asker I’m so sorry for hijacking your question and dropping this on you lol

You're always so on point with your posts. On that note, it made me realize that; Considering the themes of desires in DunMeshi. It's also to say that what you think you want isn't what you actually want.

Like, Marcille thinks she wants the handsome prince from the novels she reads... But what she actually wants is someone maybe more like her father who she admired so much. Kind, virtuous, caring to a fault, a family man. Things she later finds in Chilchuck.

Because as traumatizing as it was to see her mother's spiral after her father's death; Her memories of her father itself are some of the most important to her. And it fits with her pursuit to increase her loved ones' lives, because she does want what her mother and father had.

Sipping. I do go over ‘what you think you want vs what you actually want + what you need’ in my (upcoming) Marcille & Chil arc analysis ;) It’s a part of Dunmeshi that I really like and is super fascinating, I’d honestly like to make an analysis-post on the topic: all the different threads and characters in canon that reflect that, desires vs wants and themes of idealization in Dunmeshi, but it’s one of those things that’s just so huge to make. See this is the freaking problem with doing Dunmeshi meta you start talking about the themes or a narrative and everything is so interwoven you get distracted with tangents BUT IT’S ALL COMPELLING AND RELEVANT

I know that’s something laimar does a lot too, the dad thing, with Marcille in a post-canon comic knitting beside him paralleling her parents and whatnot. I don’t know if I fully agree on the angle but there’s definitely stuff to dig at there…

Like I know that I’d like to analyze Marcille’s succubus more, it comes up in my analysis draft but it’s not the point I’m trying to make there so I focus on other stuff but… I always saw the focus of Marcille’s succubus as that she sought out an emotional connection most of all, it’s romantic and courtly in nature but more importantly there’s personality and behavior there and it’s a character she already loves and knows deeply from having read the series, so it’s not like Chil where it’s just a pretty face whose identity doesn’t matter. A friend of mine though, @room-surprise, goes with the angle that it shows she isn’t ready for a relationship and that the appeal is very self-centered, and I def think compelling points are made…

Point I was trying to make, the succubus is definitely at the crux of figuring what it is Marcille wants and craves in someone I’d say, where she’s emotionally at wether consciously or subconsciously, or how she sees herself being involved in romance at least… It’s true Marcille is enthusiastic about romance, but always someone else’s, never hers, and she seems unwilling to examine her own relationships with people. She oversteps boundaries either obliviously or carelessly and doesn’t like change…

And then there’s how complex people’s relationship to fiction can be on top of that and graaaaah

Edit in bc I forgot I wanted to mention this like an idiot: OH and I do think the Daltian Clan serves a role in the general tapestry of Dunmeshi as well, sometimes in in depth ways that Room-Surprise will tackle in their research paper way better than me I’m sure. My understanding of the importance of general Hagreus in a more general narrative sense is that he reinforces the theme of idealization/fantasy vs reality that’s super present through the manga. Beyond just Marcille’s arc and his importance to her he’s designed uncannily close to Mithrun, it parallels real elves and their very flawed military system and the broken people it cultivates vs the romanticized elves put on an aesthetic pedestral in novels, especially considering it’s "general" Hareus

To give some previews of the analysis wip: Thus the succubus targets Marcille’s wish for a perfect knight who could cherish her forevermore, someone safe and known and fantastical, just hers in a way, free to see and construct however she wants because he’s a character to interpret Dungeon Meshi is in part about resisting desires, the irrational cravings, mostly through the character of the demon. I mentioned needs earlier, and to ideals vs wants we also add vs needs, both emotional and physical. And needs alongside wants are what Dungeon Meshi wishes to promote for a healthier person. Dungeon Meshi illustrates very well with the dungeon lords that you can be a slave to your desires. Dunmeshi prones the important of balance for both a healthy body and a healthy mind, and the arc of optimism vs pessimism with Marcille & Chilchuck is one such case <3

Ouuuugh how flawed relationships with flawed people can still be made into somehing good and healthy that make the world brighter…

We’ve gone far from the topic of how her family shaped what she seeks in relationships haha, I think you put it well already though I don’t have much to add on that front Edit in 2: SIKE! I’ll add that there’s an interesting thread in the manga of Marcille maturing and becoming more like her mother, which would be interesting and fun to pair with the fatherhood of Chil. Because Marcille is sometimes a mother figure as well: she’s the mom friend. I go over it here, and since when I made that post I’ve seen more interesting analysis on the topic too, like noticing she hides behind her mother’s portrait in the nightmare chapter, perhaps the inspiration behind her more mature reserved academic persona she sometimes has. Her parents are def important to her so it’s interesting to see how all the dynamics and her own psychology fit into that….

But yeah I think what she (thinks she) wants out of romance has a lot of layers, both conscious and subconscious… I haven’t gone into the bigger picture of how fiction affects her relationships here but it’s the central topic of my Marcille & Chil arc analysis so. She idealizes the trope of the prince charming and finds it attractive but is that what she would actually latch onto… Is it fully superficial, is it more about herself than it is about her potential partner... Is it mainly because she wants to get validation, from being special that she typically gets from high academic performance… We do see she can be rather insecure and worried about others’ perspective of her, that they think she’s not useful or capable enough, especially in the mandrake chapter… Unconditional love perhaps

What is your emotional landscape Marcille. How emotionally intelligent are you. I don’t think she knows what she wants romantically. I think she has a job so she don’t really care about that rn I’m just not sure if we can figure out what she ~actually~ wants on her behalf that might be too many levels of interpretation but idk idk, thinking on it still

[sbnkalny]

Writing, concerned. So, You want to fuck the clown, not the intended recipient of

moba

[johnaeryns]

MY FAVORITE INSTANCES OF FORESHADOWING IN RESTLESS [ 2 / ? ] 

So, clearly, these are not instances of foreshadowing; they’re callbacks to previous scenes. However, before I get any further into this series I wanted to address “Restless’” counterpart, the season one episode, “Nightmares.” Dreams are the primary vehicle that the unconscious uses to communicate with the conscious mind, and the universal association between dreams and the unconscious makes the nature of the unconscious especially important in these particular episodes. Billy literally becomes unconscious, causing everyone’s repressed fears to come into the realm of consciousness. “Nightmares” has a very specific focus on fear and repression. As the Master says, “I’m free because you fear it.” It is about the shadow. The Master escapes his underground prison (the unconscious) and rises to the surface (consciousness). If you can confront your fears and acknowledge them they cease to threaten or control you. This is why it’s meaningful that the motifs established in “Nightmares” reoccur in “Restless.” “Restless” is not about the shadow, at least, not exclusively about the shadow in the way that “Nightmares” is. It has a much wider scope and pulls from something Jung calls the “supraordinate personality” or “mana-personality” which is a symbol of the Self, the opposites, conscious and unconscious, united as a whole. It is not about the conflict between shadow and ego, but unity between the two. It is also notably not exclusively about repression. Repressed thought contents were, by definition, once conscious, and heavily linked to the shadow archetype in particular. However, the supraordinate personality encompasses these contents, as well as the consciousness, and psychic contents which have never been conscious and are completely inaccessible to the conscious mind. I will go into the details of each of these parallels in more depth in separate posts, but before I do that I want to establish the significance of “Nightmares” in the context of “Restless,” and by extension, the function of “Restless” as a whole.

In both episodes Willow displays a fear of performance. In “Nightmares” she is forced out on stage at an opera, unprepared. In “Restless” she she shows up to drama class, but once again she’s unprepared and doesn’t know her lines. She then has to give a report in a high school classroom while everyone snickers or acts bored. Tara tells her “They will find out you know. About you.” All of this relates to the “persona.” Named for the mask worn by actors to demonstrate their role, Jungian psychology defines the persona as the “mask” each person presents to the world. It is the construction we create of ourselves, bringing forward traits that we feel portray us as more attractive and favorable and repressing traits that we find undesirable or shameful. The persona is, by definition, false. It is literally a performance. “Spiritius,” or “spirit,” as Willow is labeled in “Primeval,” the episode preceding “Restless,” in Jungian terms is an almost elemental force with power and knowledge exceeding that of a human’s. However, the idea of spirit, even outside of Jungian psychology, is linked to the anima, which, like the shadow, has a compensatory relationship with the persona; all the qualities which are hidden from the outside world are found in these archetypes. Therefore, Willow’s continuous inability to take up the role assigned to her indicates a persistent disharmony between the inner self and the outer one, a fear that one will be outed as an actor, and even a worse, an actor who doesn’t know her lines. In terms of foreshadowing this alludes to the eventual disintegration of the persona in Buffy, an essential part of the individuation process where the mask is destroyed and the true self is revealed. 

Where Xander conquers his fear in “Nightmares,” he fully succumbs to it in “Restless.” In the former episode he begins to run from the clown before changing his mind, turning around, and decking it. If the episode is about unconscious fears then this action is both an acknowledgement of the fear and the domination of it. In “Primeval” Xander is described as the “animus” or “heart.” The function of the anima/animus is Jungian psychology is vastly complex but in this instance it’s probably most notable that the word anima/animus means, among other things, “soul.” Xander’s confronting the clown in “Nightmares” is a show of heart, soul, or spirit. It shows that the soul hasn’t been overtaken by the shadow. Conversely, in “Restless” he stands paralyzed in fear as his father rips his heart out. The heart losing his heart would therefore be comparable to the soul losing its soul. In Jungian terms, “loss of soul” (not to be confused with any in-universe soul lore) occurs when the ego (the conscious realm of the psyche) identifies with the “mana-personality,” the godlike figure representing the whole of the Self, as we will see occur later in Buffy’s dream. Many times this form is represented by the hero archetype. This identification results in ego-inflation, where the ego dominates the psyche, and as a result unconscious contents begin to seep into the consciousness without being differentiated, influencing of the actions of the individual without their being aware of it. This, too, marks a critical point in the individuation process, as negative inflation signals the potential integration of the unconscious and conscious; for this to happen identification must shift from the ego to the Self. 

In “Nightmares” Giles becomes lost in the library and loses his ability to read. In “Restless” he shows up “late” to where Xander and Willow are reading and presumably researching something at ‘the Bronze,’ explaining that it’s because there’s so much happening. All of these things correspond to his role in “Primeval” as “sophus” or “mind.” It also draws a strong connection to the paternal principle of Logos, which defines the conscious mind. Therefore, Giles’ continual struggle to read and tendency to get lost or be late demonstrates the weakening of consciousness. In “Nightmares,” the point of this is obvious; dreams and reality are merging and the conscious mind is losing its dominance over the unconscious. However, the reoccurrence of these themes in “Restless” has a different implication, because dreams and reality are not merging. It is still only a dream, and given that this episode has such an air of prophecy, it indicates not just a weakening of the mind in the present, but in the future as well. Just as with Willow’s relationship to the persona, what in “Nightmares” was a manifestation of the shadow dominating the conscious realm, here signifies something vastly more complex. Because the conscious has repeatedly ignored and rejected the unconscious, it is beginning to lose its foothold. As I explained in the first post of this series, this too is related to Buffy’s impending death, the regression which proceeds rebirth, an essential part of the hero cycle and therefore the individuation process.

While Giles and Willow’s sequences and themes remain more or less consistent, Xander’s is completely inverted. That both his and Buffy’s sequences deal more directly with the confrontation of the unconscious implies that Buffy’s sequence is inverted as well. Just as Xander is able to overcome his fear in “Nightmares,” Buffy is able to embody her shadow, if only temporarily. However, in Restless she ends up rejecting not just the shadow, but the entire Self. Willow’s, Xander’s, and Giles’ dream sequences all indicate some kind of rift or discordance between aspects of the psyche, particularly conscious and unconscious, implying that Buffy too is facing a divide between the ego-conscious and the unconscious psyche. On the surface, her rejection of the First Slayer, her insistence that she is different and that she is not alone, appears to be a triumph, like her confrontation with the monster in “Nightmares,” but that is only true if you are taking the First Slayer’s appearance as a threat. This is the fundamental misunderstanding that defines the episode. All of this is relevant because to really understand foreshadowing in “Restless” we have to understand why it’s there in the first place. 

“The transformation processes strive to approximate them to one another, but our consciousness is aware of resistances, because the other person seems strange and uncanny, and because we cannot get accustomed to the idea that we are not absolute master in our own house. We should prefer to be always ‘I’ and nothing else. But we are confronted by that inner friend or foe, and whether he is our friend or foe depends on ourselves.” – C.G. Jung (“Concerning Rebirth,” CW 9, para. 235)

At no point does the First Slayer actually threaten Buffy. In the very next season she tells Buffy that she is full of love, that the Slayer takes her power from love, and that she is at risk of losing it because she continues to push it away. Considering this, it makes no sense for her to now be telling Buffy that she has to be alone to be a good Slayer, or that she needs to get rid of her friends. As Giles says in the final gif, she was brought forth because they joined together. Four is a number which represents unity and individuation, as it reflects the quaternity, a fundamental symbol of the Self. As Jung states in the above quotation, the supraordinate personality, which he here calls “the inner friend of the soul,” may at first seem threatening or uncanny and the conscious mind may resist it for this reason. The idea that “we cannot get accustomed to the idea that we are not absolute master in our own house,” perfectly reflects Buffy telling the First Slayer that, “you’re not the source of me.” This does not actually mean the First Slayer is an enemy. She very notably speaks to Buffy in the present tense, never future. These are not threats; they are facts. When Buffy asks where her friends are she responds, “you’re asking the wrong questions.” She tells Buffy “No friends, just the kill,” but there is nothing to actually say that this is an instruction or a demand. In the very next episode Buffy leaves her boyfriend in bed to go hunt vampires. I don’t think it’s unreasonable, then, to assume that she is simply informing Buffy that this is how things are right now, and will be the direction that they continue to lead if Buffy doesn’t acknowledge them. When she tells Buffy “the Slayer does not walk in this world,” Buffy takes this to mean that she does not walk in this world, which is exactly the problem. She, the ego, has identified herself with the Self, the divine figure or hero, when in just the last episode we saw that Buffy is clearly only one part of this force. She is the hand, the one that power flows through, but she is still only one part of four, not the whole. The First Slayer tells her “We are alone!” not “We must be alone” or “We should be alone.” They are alone, right now, in this moment. Her usage of the word “we” is similarly consistent with the idea of the supraordinate personality. Were this just about her and Buffy there’s no reason that others would have to be involved in the dream. They were involved because they participated in the ritual and the ritual was about all of them making up a whole, all elements of the personality combined accessing a transcendent, inhuman, and elemental force: the Self. All of them together called the First Slayer forward and so when she says “We are alone,” she refers to all of them. Each of them is isolated. The personality is splintered. This is what she is trying to communicate to Buffy.

While “Nightmares” signals the struggle of the conscious to rise above the unconscious (note Buffy literally walking from the darkness into the light in the 8th gif), a positive process, “Restless” portrays a rejection of the unconscious wholesale. This rejection is a distinctly negative action and explicitly dangerous because when one rejects or dismisses the unconscious they leave themselves vulnerable to its influence (Buffy retreats from the blinding light of the desert to the darkness of her living room). Giles and Willow indicate the weakening of the conscious mind, but where Xander and Buffy signify the momentary victory over the unconscious in “Nightmares,” the inversion of their scenes in “Restless” indicates the opposite. The unconscious is winning. If we are to assume that the First Slayer is the orchestrator of this dream, that she is the one who is showing us, in her own words, “what’s to come,” and if we are assuming that she is trying to tell Buffy that her psyche is fragmented, then I think we can take this foreshadowing as not a threat, but a warning. This is what will happen if Buffy doesn’t listen. Of course, Buffy doesn’t listen, and so we see everything that we were warned against come to pass. Still, the arrival of the First Slayer, the supraordinate personality, is an indication of the progression of the individuation process. If Buffy can differentiate herself, her ego, from the Slayer identity (the hero archetype), then all hope is not yet lost. Therefore the parallels with “Nightmares” indicate a necessary regression. Buffy’s impending struggle with depression, what Jung would call “loss of soul,” is foreshadowed as a sign of future development, of light overcoming dark once again: death and rebirth.

[ainemcfate]

Things i watched and loved in 2021

Beyond evil (2021) is my #1 for probably years to come. Not my first Kdrama but definitely the reason I started looking for them instead of waiting when smth crosses my path accidentally. 6 re-watches and probably more to come, too many juicy details to fit in my small brain. Came out of this really attracted to Shin Hakyun.

Hotel del Luna (2019) Yeo Jingoo was not my main focus in Beyond Evil, but he has so many dramas that are worth watching on their own merit rather than because i'm into an actor. Hotel del Luna is spectacular, all the actors are brilliant in it (i love IU now). I started watching it smiling and laughing and ended it crying. And now i'm re-watching it with my sister, while crying non-stop from the first seconds. But it's fun, it's just smth is wrong with me.

Crowned Clown (2019) - masterclass of acting from Yeo Jingoo. I haven't really noticed anything else, i was just mesmerized by him.

The ghost detective (2018) just an easy enough detective story with ghosts, a lot of things technically similar to Hotel Del Luna but you're heart is intact and happy after all of this. I suspect this drama is everyone's cup of tea.

Sweet home (2020) my absolute favorite monster movie ever, because i like them character driven and heartfelt.

Squid game(2021) has tons of merch in our popular online stores, noone else does. This whole affair is just to sell stuff to the world, the show is ok at best. But the tug of war game got me jumping and screaming. So it has it's moments. (Love the guy from Beyond Evil)

Devil Judge (2021) last kdrama I'm gonna mention, not because it has any special place in my heart but it was homoerotic (not saying gay) enough to deserve my appreciation.

Word of Honor (2021) my cdrama baby. Objectively it is not the best but it is the bravest and the most genuine thing that i ever seen. It was an honor to watch it while it was ongoing and the drama after the show left me heartbroken, and almost incapable of watching cdramas again.

Crossfire (2020) cdrama about gaming with fantastical elements, best of it's kind and I watched all the popular ones. Has comedy and drama, and action, friendships, soulmates, het love stories that are not in your face and enjoyable, a disabled character that would be fine even if they didn't miraculously heal him (but it's China)

Imperial coroner (2021) cute costume cdrama. Healthiest romantic relationship ever and it was between a prince and a female! coroner! in "ancient" China!!! the girl is from Young Blood(2019) and I'm keeping an eye on all of them.

Prospect (2018) 1 of 2 american movies i watched this year. And it was a great choice. Just really really cheap but smartly made, simple but well structured, well acted, well written solid movie. about a teenage girl and several grown men surviving on a poisonous planet and trying to leave it. with Pedro Pascal.

Venom 2 (2021) I loved Venom back in 2018. And obviously i liked this one, for the same reason.