#not that thats a great thing. but i do think it makes for interesting patterns in storytelling and i like to talk about it nonetheless

[anarchoarchie]

top five once upon a time christ figure moments <3

OH HOW TO CHOOSE... i will definitely need to update this list once i rewatch the show but off the top of my head(most of these are early on because i haven't watched the later seasons in quite a while):

(SPOILERS AHEAD)

okay the read more thing is getting fucked up so im adding this paragraph in hopes that it will get it to work. tumblr why are you like this

henry getting poisoned from the apple turnover and coming back to life at the end of s1. he goes oh you don't believe? well what if i die and you have to bring me back to life through the power of love and magic. double emma and henry christ figure moment there. also that scene where henry bites the turnover and passes out is SO iconic

just everything with emma's birth. literal baby who everyone is trying to kill and who represents hope and love and is predestined to save the world!!!

neal/baelfire is very jesuscoded to me. gentle nice kid with a scary powerful dad; dies to save emma and henry et cetera. neal and emma are kind of a jesus4jesus power couple if you think about it

snow white!!! special princess who is badass and kind and all the animals love and who everyone is trying to kill. when she eats the poison apple knowing what's going to happen. and then essentially gets resurrected. (bonus: that scene with the huntsman where he spares her life and then later gets martyred for it) sidenote maybe there's some kind of genetic component here actually because snow, emma, henry, and lucy are all some level of jesuscoded. pretty neat of them

henry having the heart of the truest believer!! also his little speech in new york where he tells everyone to believe and make a wish and its like that moment in a covertly religious hallmark movie where the christ figure character gets everyone to believe in the magic of christmas. does that make any sense

anyways i really need to rewatch this show because i know there are so many more that i'm forgetting especially in the later seasons.

(honorable mentions: whatever was going on with lily's whole judas (and/or antichrist??) thing with emma. pinnochio/august booth. lucy mills. everything about the final battle. many more things that i simply don't remember off the top of my head)

[i-cant-sing]

Time Traveller AU pt 4

Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. AU masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more.

Part 5 is here.

Two weeks had passed since you and Baldwin had met Salauddin. As much as you tried to stay in your room to try and work on your time machine a bit, Sibylla was far too excited with the wedding preparations and was dragging you along. Even the maids were too eager to do everything, be it dressing you up or accompanying you around the castle. You suppose it was their way of trying to get in your good graces so that you'll choose them to be your court ladies. Its all politics really. The few moments that you did try to have for yourself, they'd be with Baldwin. You cant ever have meals without him, even if you were sneaky. You theorised that Baldwin probably had someone in the kitchen to inform him the moment you're having a meal made so that he can join you too (and proceed to handfeed you the first and last bite from his plate).

You decide its finally time to bring up the agenda you had in mind. "Baldwin?" You call softly, earning a surprised look from him because he's used to your admonishing tone. "Yes, princess?" he quickly closes his book, giving you his full attention.

"Do you think... it could be arranged for me to travel?" He raised a brow. "Travel? Where?"

You mustered up the courage. "Egypt."

"Egypt? Why?" Of course he was alarmed because at the time Egypt was under Muslim rule, and Salauddin was the sultan of Egypt. It was his territory and it was far too.

"Why not? I thought you said you would show me the world." You reminded him of his promise when he was trying to bribe you into marrying him.

He sighed and nodded. "That can be arranged. Come on, now." He took your hand and pulled you towards him as he moved towards the corner of his room, keeping you facing him. "I always keep my promises, princess." He whispered kissing your chin before turning you around to face the mirror.

"See? Now you've seen the world. In fact-" He spins you back to him before turning you towards the mirror again. "-ooh! Now you've seen the world twice!" He keeps on spinning you back and forth a couple of more times making you laugh before you get dizzy and lightly smack his arm.

"Be serious for once, Baldwin!" You glare at him. "Dont you get tired from your flirting attempts?"

His eyes twinkled as he cupped your face with his hands. "Never!"

With your face still in his hands, you repeated your request. "I want to go to Egypt, Baldwin." "But why? Do you want something from there? Because I can have it brought here-"

"No." You cant believe you have to manipulate him. Eh, he'll get over it. "I... I dont have a family, Baldwin. I was an orphan and well- things werent great at my orphanage, so I ran away. I wanted to find out about my family, about my parents. What happened to them. So I've been travelling here and there. I suppose thats how I developed an interest in history." You could seem his resolve melting with the way his eyes softened, so you continued on. "Please, let me go to Egypt. I think... I think I might find some clues about my family there. And if I dont..." you chuckled. "Well, I could always write something on Salauddin."

"Do you really want to go?" You nodded eagerly. He smiled. "Alright. I'll talk to Salauddin. If he gives permission, then you can go. I dont think I could accompany you there. Guy has been stirring up some problems here and I cant have him try to start a rebellion."

"Its okay, I can go alone." "Well, not alone. I'll send my best knights along." Shit. Oh well. Better them than Baldwin.

Breaking the pattern for once, you decided to initiate affection and gave him a hug. "Thank you, Baldwin!" You heard him inhale sharply, his body stilling for a moment before his arms slowly but surely wrapped around your frame, and you felt him melt into you a bit. This is psychology 101, okay? Pavlov's dog experiment, if you reward him for "good behaviour", he is more prone to be "good".

If only you knew this may have been the first time in more than a decade that he's been hugged. And now that he has... it only cements more in his mind that your hugs are his- you are his.

-

As expected, Salauddin agreed and allowed you to come to Egypt. However, Baldwin still delayed your trip by almost a week under the pretence to make "necessary arrangements for your trip".

It was just him trying to find excuses to make you stay longer, or even change your mind about leaving at all.

"You know it's going to be soooo hot in Egypt? What if you get a heat stroke?"

"I'm going with Salauddin. He's been living in the desert for so long, I'm sure he'll teach me how to protect myself from the sun."

"You- what if you get thirsty? You won't get cold water!"

You looked at him baffled. "Salauddin literally had a box of ice in the desert- he served us ice water. Did you forget? I'm beginning to think you might be suffering from a heat stroke."

He huffed. "Surely, you cant be safe in Egypt without me by your side. People will attack you for being my weakness!"

Your heart skipped a beat. I'm his weakness?

You shake your head. Not the time. "How would they even recognise me? I'd be in a niqaab! Besides, I thought you were sending your "best knights" with me." You said turning around to fold your clothes.

Baldwin's hand reached for your wrist and he pulled you back to him, your body stiffening against his hard chest. Damn, how long did he work out for? Just a few weeks ago, he couldnt even stand for long without passing out.

He rested his chin on your shoulder. "I'll miss you." He mumbled, and the corner of your mouth quirked up. "I know." You replied as you tried to break out of his arms and return to your packing. But Baldwin spun you around, his brows furrowed. "You wont miss me?" His eyes held deep concern, while his voice reminded you of a scared child.

He's adorable.

His grip on your arms tightened the longer you stayed silent. Fearing he'd change his mind about the trip, you cupped his face and brought it closer to yours, staring into his eyes.

"No." Hurt flashed through across those blue pools, but you continued. "Because the mere thought that you would be waiting here for me will make me want to return home early." His face softened.

"Home? You consider this your home?" He whispered, clearly affected by your words.

Oh, he's about to die when he hears what you've got next.

Your eyes smiled. "You're my home, Baldwin." You knew if this was an anime, then right now Baldwin would be animated with a pink background with halo behind him, and probably cupids shooting arrows and crying.

His reaction proved you right. Baldwin pulled you in for a tight hug, hiding his head into your shoulder and before you either of you could react, you both fell on your bed, though Baldwin didnt let go of you.

When he finally pulled away, he caressed your cheek with one hand. "What?" you asked with a lazy smile. He didnt say anything, just kept tracing your face with his fingers, looking at you as if he was in a trance. Considering you were leaving tomorrow, you didnt move from the bed. You didnt want to break whatever fantasy Baldwin was in (truthfully, you didnt have the heart for it. He looked like something was healing inside him.) So you stayed there next to him, letting Baldwin run his fingers though your hair and falling asleep to that.

"How did I get so lucky?" He whispered to himself, still looking at you in awe.

Baldwin didnt sleep that night. No, he wanted to memorise your face.

-

The next morning, you were sent off with a small entourage, even though Baldwin wanted to send you with a bigger one, but you reasoned with him that a large group of people would only draw more attention to you.

"Be safe, princess." Baldwin said, pressing his lips to your forehead. You smiled and nodded. "I'll be back before you know it." He gave you a lopsided smile before pulling out a pouch and placing it in your hands. It was heavy. "I have given the knight commander gold to cater to your every need, buy anything you like but- I still want you to have this. Just in case." You peeked into the pouch and your eyes bulged out at the gold coins in there. "Its too much, Baldwin. I cant take-" He cupped your cheek. "I insist. If- God forbid, things go wrong, I want you to use this to get out." You leaned into his touch. "Nothing will happen to me, Baldwin." He prays so (he and his church is praying for your safe journey). "I know, but please- keep it. For my peace of mind." You finally conceded, giving him a hug before starting your journey.

From Jerusalem, you first reached Salauddin's caravan in the desert, where the Kurdish leader was waiting for you.

"So, have you come up with a plan to leave Baldwin?" He asked, guiding you inside his tent, taking note of the niqaab you were wearing. It was the one Baldwin had helped embroirdered for you- he recognised the ugly flower on your sleeve.

"Its not a priority at the moment." You lied, deciding it wouldnt be good to reveal all your cards to him. After all, he is a conquerer. You dont know what kind of games he may be playing.

He raised a brow at you, setting up the chess board. "Then why are you going to Egypt?" He wanted to gauge your expressions, but your eyes were solely focused on the chess board as you made the first move.

"I have some matters to take care of. Personal matters." You watched him move his black pawn.

"Anything I could help with?" He asked. You took his bishop. "No, you have already helped a lot. Thank you. But I must ask- how did you just agree to Baldwin when he asked if I could go to Egypt?"

He scoffed, taking your knight. "You think I did this for free? Please, your husband had to pay a pretty penny to take his "little heaven's angel" through the desert safely. Honestly, how have you bewitched him?" Salauddin gazed at you. "Either he's too stupid or you're much smarter than you look, the latter is something I highly doubt, so it only leads to one conclusion- Baldwin is stupid." He mocked.

"Hey! Dont insult my fiance." You admonished, looking back at the board to make your next move. He leaned forward with his elbows on the table, looking at you expectantly. "Or else what?"

Your eyes finally made contact with his, and he could feel he had insulted you somehow. "Or else... you'll regret it." You threatened, which he didnt take seriously, because- why would he? You're nobody.

His eyes lit up. "If you were any less threatening, Y/n, you'd be a dandelion." You rolled your eyes, clearly not amused. "Say whatever you want, but you and I both know you didnt do it for the money."

"What do you mean?"

"Mmhm, I dont know. Dont you have enough money already? I think- oh, you made a mistake there." you smirked taking his queen and now his king was left wide open for attack. "I think... you were scared to say no."

"Excuse me?" He moved his king. You chased him with your knight.

"You heard me." Your rook pushed his king into the corner. Frustratedly, he tries to escape by moving his king diagonally, but you were quicker with your bishop.

"Why would I be afraid of a man whose own brother-in-law is starting a rebellion against him and he's been allowing him to do so just because his sister claims to love him?" He taunted at the messed up family dynamics. Of course he knew how ready Baldwin was to give his kingdom away to Guy to be perished, but that was before he was cured of his leprosy.

You had boxed his king from all sides. No escape. "Why wouldnt you be? The same man was only just a 16 year old when he defeated you on the battlefield devastatingly. And that too, when he was so sick, his face was melting off." You knocked down his king. "Can you imagine how strong he is now that he's cured?"

His anger was subtle. Eyes glaring at you, mouth pulled into a thin line, his nostrils flared ever so slightly.

Clearly, you had struck a nerve.

"You shouldn't play with fire." He warned. You twirled his king between your fingers. "Who said I was playing?"

You both sat in silence for a few more moments, with you mostly relishing in your victory. "So, what do I get for winning again?"

His eyes narrowed, though they werent as hostile as they were a few moments ago, "You get to keep your head."

"Am I always playing for my life everytime we play chess?" "Yes." "Huh. So how does it feel to know that I will outlive you?" You teased, making him roll his eyes as he stood up, leading you out of his tent.

"My men are going to accompany you to Egypt. They're ready, so-" he looked at you with a scowl. "Leave."

"Aww, thank you, aljedu!" You waved, leaving before he could get mad at you for calling him "grandpa".

-

The journey to Egypt took a little over 4 days, but you really cant complain with the small army of people at your service. Even the men and women Salauddin had sent with you made sure to cater your every need, and more importantly, help you and your entourage survive the desert.

The pyramids were still as magnificent as in the future, though the area was now surrouded by a bustling market of sorts. As your caravan moved further into the town, you saw a large centre built that had the traditional Islamic architecure elements- huge domes, minarets, white pillars. The colourful tile works (prominents turqoise and dark blue themes) and a few gothic arches displayed the catholic influence as well.

"What's that?" You had asked one of the knights. "Thats the madarasas." You nodded as you recalled reading about it in "the golden age of Islam" era. Madarasa was essentially an educational institution that were devoted to the study of law, maths, science, medicine, religion, philosphy and other subjects. The complex itself consisted of a mosque, a library, a boarding house. They were home to both students and professors, and were maintained by charitable endowments and unlike a modern day college, it lacked a specific curriculum or institutionalise system of certification. Information was usually passed on informally from teacher to student, and both men and women were able to attend.

It was heaven for anyone who seeked to learn, and this was exactly where you would be going to get help for your time machine.

But that would have to wait, as you were now lead to Salauddin's palace for rest. It was massive and just like the madarasa, it was also beautifully constructed. The palace spread over on a large area of land, and although it was was around 80-100 feet in height with those humongous pillars at each corner, the palace was largest in horizontal dimensions. Inside, after passing a throng of soldiers stationed who kept their gaze lowered even though she and most of the females were completely veiled, you saw a huge pool that continued throughout the palace, even through sharp corners. It almost looked like the castle was built around the turquoise pool. Despite it being hot as hell outside, the palace was cool and insulated even though there were no air conditioners or fans and was open enough to be well ventilated. You had seen the palm date trees through the city, but there was a huge new variety of exotic plants inside that you dont think would be able to survive in the desert.

Egyptians were truly ahead of their time.

-

After dinner, you were sitting in your room with your maids. They were talking about the hospitality of Muslims and all, helping you unpack and get ready for bed.

"Alright, time to sleep." You said with a yawn and they all immediately began leaving. All but one maid, who had to stay by your side at all times even when you were bathing. Apparently, Baldwin had ordered her to do so because he didnt trust anyone in the foreign lands.

"You can go to your chambers with the others, Isabella." You smiled politely at the blonde girl, no older than 19. She shook her head, her brows furrowing in concern. "No, princess. It is my duty to be with you at all times. What if you need me for something?"

"I wont." You smiled tightly. The sooner she left, the sooner you could sneak out of here and go to the madarasa. "You must be tired from all the travel. Please, go rest. I insist." But it was like she couldnt imagine committing a grave sin like this.

Fine. If she's not going to leave then-

"Isabella..." you come close to her, fiddling with your thumbs. "Can I trust you, Isabella?"

She nodded obediently. "Of course, my princess."

"I need to get out of the palace for some time." You tell her slowly, letting her absorb the words. Automatically, she responds. "I can have them arrange a tour tomorrow-"

"No, Isabella-" you let out a distressed sigh, rubbing your forehead as you paused for a dramatic effect. "I need to go out right now."

"Now? At night time?" The young girl wondered what possible emergency you could possibly have. "Oh, um- well, I can have the guards prepare a-"

"No!" You turned around, reaching for her hands. Isabella's eyes widened. A princess- royalty is touching her? You tilted your head sligtly, eyes making a desperate plea.

"I have business that I need to take care of on my own. I-" you sigh dramatically before looking at her with most remorseful eyes. "I have to find my family. I need to- I cant get married without them attending. I- I- just need them and I know! I know they're here! I can feel it!" Isabella's face softened at your "distress" but you can still see her hesitance, and so before she could protest, you squeezed her hands. "I tell everyone I am an orphan but- the the truth is... I was a slave. I was stolen from my family and- and I was raised with other slaves. It wasnt until I was 8 that I had ran away. I've been running from my owners for a long time, all while trying to find my family. I dont care if they're dead but- I need to know. I need to know, Isabella. You... you understand why, right?"

Tears slipped from Isabella's eyes as she nodded her head feverently.

"Of course I do, princess!"

-

You pulled your shawl around you tighter. Temperatures really did drop significantly at night in deserts. You were now standing outside the madarasa you had seen earlier in the day after convincing Isabella to stay behind and pretend to be you under the covers in bed while you went out.

The building was much more quiet now, although the market was still alive but people were less and everyone was mindful of how much noise they made.

You quietly walked into the madarasa, pretending to be one of the several servants who were entering the place. Inside, the area was designed in the shape of a rectangle without a roof in the center. The moon light illuminated the common ground in the middle while lanterns were lit all around the 4 sides, numerous doors on each side.

Keeping your veiled head down, you walked past many scholars and students. You wanted to enter a room, but with all the doors closed, you feared you'd enter the wrong room with someone who wouldnt be as forgiving to a stranger entering this place.

But luck was on your side tonight, as your eyes finally caught sight of an ajar door, and you slipped in once you noticed no one was currently in the room. The room was far more spacious than you had anticipated and even though the equipment was far too old, you recognised it to be a sort of lab. Nearing the desk in the corner, you noticed some papers spread around with some maths done. Even though the numbers were in Arabic, you recognised it- algebra.

"What are you doing here, woman?" You look upto find a man in his late 30s with a white turban and a black beard looking at you angrily. "Who sent you here? By Allah! Leave right now or I will have you punished for trespassing and attempting to seduce a pious man you devil-"

"I'll leave but I cant go without correcting your error." You said pointing to his papers.

He blinked at you. "What error?"

You laughed tauntingly. "Im surprised you dont see it." The man's brows furrowed as he marched over to you. "There is no error! I am the finest mathematician of this decade, if not century! I study astrology, biology, physics, alchemy, philosophy and you dare tell me that I made an error?! I am Al-Abbas ibn Bashir! Who are you to correct me woman?!"

You stared at him unamused. "The square root of 8 is not equal to the square root of 4 + square root of 4." You said pointing at his paper. He squinted at you, trying to process your words before looking where you were pointing.

"Yes, it is. It is additive-"

"Not everything is additive." You sighed, pulling out a blank sheet of paper and solving the question step by step for him. "See? Square root of 8 is 2.818 while square root of 4 is 2, so since we have two square roots if 4, it'll be 2 plus 2, which adds to 4."

You sat down on his chair while he looked over your explanation, trying to find an error in your work. There were none.

Abbas looked at you, brows still furrowed. "You- fine, you are correct. I made a small error-" "Small?" You teased. "Yes, small!" He snapped back as you chuckled. He continued. "But that doesnt explain what youre doing in my office. Who are you?"

You rested your head on your palm and stared at him. "I have work for you."

"And what might that be?"

"Hmm, depends. Are your studies purely theory based or... experimental as well?"

Abbas gave you a nod. "I like to mainly focus on theories, but I like to test my theories as well, so from time to time, I do have to conduct experiments as well."

"Fantastic!" You straightened up and grabbed a paper as you began drawing a tool. "Here, I have mentioned the dimensions and I need you to engineer this for me." He took the paper from you. "What exactly is it?"

"I cannot tell you." "Why?" "Well, I'm a scientist too, and I dont want you to stealing my work." You replied as you pulled out your coin purse that Baldwin had given you. "I suppose this would be sufficient for you?" You placed 5 gold coins in front of him.

Abbas scoffed. "You think you can buy me? I dont care for money!" He stood up, turning away from you.

You raised your brow. "Name your price."

He shook his head. "I cannot be bought, woman. I am a man of science. I have far more important things to be doing with my time-"

"Like making more mistakes?" He glared at you. "One small error. Thats all it was. Besides, just because I made a small miscalculation doesnt mean youre smarter than me."

You smiled under your veil.

"Wanna test that?"

-

Abbas had decided to work for you after you had outsmarted him in every subject he presented. I mean you only had to touch the basics of what you had learned in 6th grade science class but he was- bamboozled.

After he had recovered from his shock, he had agreed to work for you on the condition that you check his work for mistakes and impart some of you teachings. He swears he wont copy any of your "works". You gave him the gold coins and told him to work under complete discretion and that you'd meet him again in 3 days time, when you're ready to return to Jerusalem.

The plan was to collect your tool from him and then give him a couple more tools to design which you would collect 2 weeks later when you visited Egypt again. Because while you do need to work on your time machine, you also need to find ways for Baldwin to go to war with Salauddin again, because originally Baldwin dies of leprosy, but since you already cured that... you need to find a way for Baldwin to die and so far, a war seems to be the only answer.

But youve seen their relationship... Baldwin and Salauddin wouldn't simply jeopardise everything like that. They have a good bond, a strong friendship even.

However, if highschool has taught you anything, even the closest friendships end because of misunderstandings.

And so, a week later, you were back in Jerusalem with your new tool and a new plan in mind.

You walked up the stairs and towards Baldwin's office. Since you had arrived earlier than he was expecting, you wanted to surprise him. Honestly, you missed him and his adorable expressions-

You stopped at the foot of the door, your heart dropping at the sight.

Baldwin and a woman... kissing.

Thoughts? Also send asks

[chaifootsteps]

idk i just feel like there's something particularly cruel about having a solid episode concept like "verosika hosts a fuck you party for blitz and everyone else he's fucked over," because its a great way to show a pattern of behavior in blitz and the effect he has on others he's been with and hurt!

then.. they put stolas there. stolas, "you have sex with me every month or your I.M.P is going under without my book you need, no exceptions until i legally gave you an asmodean crystal a year later, for your work", goetia, or whatever the fuck his last name is.

this episode is trying so hard to make stolas on equal levels to verosika and the other imps dumped by blitz, but if any of these hellborn actually knew how he got into a "relationship" with blitz to begin with, and how blitz never even had a choice in whether or not he wants to be with stolas, (even when they were kids!) i really doubt theyd want anything to do with him. stolas never explains that their relationship wasnt a relationship, just a transactional monthly hookup to literally keep blitz's business afloat. he doesn't, because he STILL doesn't fully understand what he did wrong, but understands it enough to know he had to be the one to break off the deal he made. i doubt he'll ever actually explain what the deal was to any outsiders who ask, because then stolas would be forced to actually be held accountable for his own actions, and we cant possibly have that! /sar

i think one of the worst lines from stolas in this episode, aside from most of them because i think hes annoying, was when blitz expressed he didnt know why anyone would care about him, stolas responds that this party, dedicated to blitz, because they hate him so much, shows how much they ""care."" and that might have some kind of point coming out of verosikas mouth- implying that these people genuinely cared for him at one point and he pushed them away- but absolutely not stolas's. so its no wonder that blitz responds by self deprecating himself, saying, "i dont even know why youd want to be with me." followed by stolas admitting that what he really wants is someone to care about him.

and honestly, thats another thing too. i cant believe that after everything, after everything stolas has claimed about wanting blitz because he loves and respects him, when blitz then asks WHY stolas wants him, stolas responds, "you know what i want? i want to know what its like to not be alone. i want to be someone's someone. i want someone to care about me." because it shouldve been his moment to explain to blitz what he sees in him, and why he fell in love with him to begin with the more they slept together. but it wasnt.

not only is it unbelievably selfish of stolas to make blitz go through all of this for almost a year, to not only have NO reason as to why he has/had feelings for blitz, (basically confirming to me that stolas never really cared about blitz or his feelings, still doesn't, and just needed to have an adult relationship someone who didn't outwardly hate his guts like stella did, because were 2 and a half fucking seasons into this show and still dont know why the love interest romantically wants the main character, and die hard viv stans still think the stoliz insta posts count as canon because they're on copium,) but to ignore the one good thing in his life that he insists that he genuinely loves, octavia, in favor of him acting as if he'll die alone completely if he doesn't have a partner..

y'know that one scene in adventure time where jake is like, "dude.. let's kill the horse."? thats how i feel towards stolas right now.

Let's kill the owl.

I'm so tired, Anon.

[pastara-cell]

Dear fellow freablr members, How many of you would be interested in a Synesthesia Drew Au? I’ve recently gotten my meds back, and my rule of “6 aus at most at a time” was lacking an au, so For a little preview of what you’d be getting:

>Drew has Sound-to-color synesthesia. Aka, words, and especially music, cause him to see different colours. Specifically, He sees it in his vision, rather than his head.

>the Au takes place, starting at the moment drew met jake, up until the events after the drakeup

>He drowns out music and talking a lot using his airpods and phone, putting on playlists of rain sounds, one of the few things he can listen to thats calming that doesn’t cloud his vision much.

>The louder the noise for him, the more intense the colour is. Still the same colour

>Drew has heard jake sing, albeit he thought jake just had a talent for it and didn’t think to ask him about it. Jake’s singing is Orange to him, patterns and shapes depending on what he’s singing

>The music club is…Well, from what he can hear through the door, Is black and white. Patterns and shapes still depending on what he hears.

>Zanders voice (The way he sounds and all) makes him see pink. He’s rather irritated that zander is purple.

>Liam and henry know about his synesthesia because they stole his medical records one night and went through them. Drew also has their medical records. Outside of those two, no one knew.

>Drew doesn’t keep it a secret per say, he’d say “Well you never asked. So…”

>Sometimes its really bad for him sensory wise, but its not the reason he bullies the music club. Dont worry guys, not giving him a reason to justify that. Takes away from his character

If people are interested in this, I’ll add it to my list! And if people want to yank this idea, absolutely! Don’t even ask! Write it, draw it, do whatever, just tag me so I can see it! I love this concept so much, but I felt it was too far from the canon to be a headcanon, so AU it is!

(also, if you wanna swap out/add in sound to taste synesthesia, that’d be absolutely great. F#? I think you mean the taste of Orange juice)

[penaltyboxboxbox]

ab the ferrari suits, there are a few things I'd change like the little square around the shell logo and the saturation of hp (what could they have done realistically lbr that's a title sponsor) but I??? Like it?? I think the dedication to the engineers is cute?? And the kits honestly ate idc same w the trophy

I really like the traditional trophies but sometimes trying smth different it works out and sometimes it doesn't (zandvoort sorry some of the messages were nice but overalllll ehhhhh)

at the end it's just personal preference but I do think it's getting disproportionate hatery

imo they could come out in actual trash, but if the car is fast I'll take it

literally i get people hate logos but they need to move on from it because at the end of the day sponsor logo readability and adherence to brand standard will always come first...like they are Not Allowed to display sponsor logos in "incorrect" ways its just part of what they agree to when they bring on a sponsor and that means bright blue hp and shell being displayed on a solid color bg. i actually think they managed very well with shell by putting it in the yellow square, it fits in very modularly and reads well into the overall concept w using yellow as the dominant color there...like they couldve just slapped it on a white square like some other teams are stuck doing for their sponsor logos cmon..theyre overall really lucky to have so many sponsors who DO allow them to display their logos in a color like yellow that is most certainly not in their brand guidelines. personally i think that alone speaks to how well these sponsors view ferrari as a brand and a partner, its like kind of insane to imagine a huge company ALLOWING the recoloring of their logo like that, easily they couldve been required to keep every sleeve logo white or something..

I think we are way too harsh on ferrari when they are LITERALLY the only team that even tries to do anything interesting with race suits and has pretty consistently given us a bunch of different designs. and not even just recolors!! new designs! its great and i wish more teams would take the risk, it makes it a lot of fun. I think the hate on the carbon fiber look is lame, its a pattern thats so quintessentially racecar, i think the sleeve on the jerseys looks great and very fashionable. and I think the race suits are FUN i think they feel kind of old school and are very striking, they almost remind me of like a subtle jockey silk. i already love the vintage racing stripes feel of the regular suits this year, and i think the yellow striping + the pattern looks great and is really bold and refreshing. so much fucking better than a boring ass black race suit. try thinking about sports gear as something meant to be eye catching, iconic, memorable, collectible, and not just like. idk...sexy for an aesthetic post...idk

dont get me started on trophies, i really do view the trophies, especially ones by contemporary artists, as just that. contemporary art. and while im all good w people having their opinions and having discussions on that art, i hate how often it turns into just like. the tired old takes of Modern Art Bad, Classical Art Good. i actually really loved the zandvoort trophies lookswise, the sentiments written were a little eh, but i thought it was a great way to refresh the trophies, a very cool technique used, and a great way to get people talking! I love the monza trophies, as I said, i think theyre really beautiful n compelling sculptures...

i just think generally a lot of people do in fact have narrower vision if what they believe is "good art" than even they think they do, and i think a majority of people completely misunderstand sports design and just don't like seeing things that are different/not sexy 🤷‍♂️

[morningstar-chronicles]

(4 year shifter here hi)

I decided I'm shifting. Like I'm ready to dive back in because 4 years??? nothing should take you 4 years to do and thats utter bs and i will NOT stand that. im gonna shift!!! because 4 years of my life is not gonna be wasted fantasizing a world instead of improving my own. i could've mastered a skill in 4 years. out of pure SPITE I WILL BE SHIFTING AND ILL MAKE IT A CONSISTENT THING TO VISIT MY DRS!!!!

Only problem is. I HAVE SO MUCH ANXIETYYYYY around shifting. I mostly blame tiktok for this but i have such imposrer syndrome (i just learned that term maybe im usijg it wrong). i feel like nothing im doing is correct and my brain tells me with assurance im not gonna shift because of it.

i know if I just believed id be with my husband rn. but i dont know how and 4 years of conditioning myself to believe i wont im scared i cant undo it and my thoughts on life is *if you dont believe you can do it you won't do it*

l asked my tarot deck for advice on what to do and got:

situation: The devil, Page of swords

what to do: The Emperor

i have no clue what's this is meant to mean 😚

hm. okay so i'm not super well-versed in tarot but i'll consult my books for u

the devil (assuming upright): describes obsession and limitations. given the context, i'm going to assume these limitations are more percieved than actual physical limitations. this pretty much checks out with what you told me here. i'm getting that there is a lot of overthinking and maybe method hopping or trying to make something work that just doesn't align with what you need.

page of swords (assuming upright): tells me that you are very methodical and thorough with your attempts. this is great for most aspects of life, but in my own personal opinion, shifting is about letting go of the details and focusing on the big picture.

the emperor (assuming upright): this was most interesting to me! it appears that you crave structure, and so a method with more structure may still be what works best for you. however, it also appears as though you need to focus on practicality over smaller details. you might benefit from taking a more commonly-known rigid method and changing certain things like the breathing pattern or steps that just don't allow you to relax.

ANYWAY that aside, you can totally shift even if you have doubts!! some people shift the day after they give up (baffling to me??? like omg universe i'm totally giving up... 👀) and i think something that helps a lot of people to know is like... anyone can shift. literally anyone. also i never do the methods right and i've shifted before so like... idk hopefully that helps you feel better about doing things wrong 😭

[suffarustuffaru]

what is your opinion on the fact that tappei intended us to hate reinhard for killing theresia

hello!! :o im not sure if tappei really Intended for us to hate reinhard for that per say—i think more so tappei intends to show the astrea drama in general in a very nuanced manner (unless he proves me wrong and does weird stuff to develop them later on wjfnd but ill stand by this atm because theres a lot of textual evidence i think!!)

the arc 5 astrea drama is the very first time we learn about Any of that, and the way we learn it is interesting. this is AFTER getting attached to reinhard and wilhelm, who prior to arc 5 were established to be good well meaning and respectable people. then heinkel comes in claiming they both did shitty stuff, and of course heinkel makes the worst impression of all time, is shitty himself, AND interrupted wilhelm and reinhards reunion, so we’re not inclined to side with heinkel here. but the more we learn about the astrea family conflict, the more we realize, alongside subaru, that 1. wilhelm is not as great as he seems to be (its like learning that a close family member or friend has done some terrible stuff!! the common reaction to it is to feel Disappointed or Sad or maybe a little angry!!) and subaru also learns that 2. the entire situation is not black and white. it takes a heavy emotional toll on wilhelm, heinkel, and reinhard.

it’s also interesting that we dont Always learn info about it directly from the family members themselves—theresias dead of course and doesnt say much when she briefly comes back (more on this later), reinhard becomes more subdued around his family (which has gotta be a trauma response in an attempt to minimize the conflict), heinkel and wilhelm are unreliable narrators driven by their emotions. we learn some of the bulk of the drama from JULIUS, an outsider, but someone with ties to reinhard personally and the knights. so we’re also getting unreliable info about someone like heinkel (whos got a reputation thats honestly shittier than even his behavior, which i pity him for), and someone like reinhard is extremely hard to read (we just know that hes. you know. Traumatized. and Sad.)

i DO think though that throughout all of this we’re supposed to sympathize with EVERY astrea family member. every single one. we’re meant to understand each of their actions, because they all contribute to the family dysfunction unwillingly or consciously.

we’re given the reasoning behind almost all of their actions in the conflict. wilhelm lashed out because of grief, and hes spent years regretting what he did and not knowing how to fix things. heinkel’s an alcoholic from stress, trauma, and self-hatred, and post-arc 5 we see more of his psyche (which is shown in a very honest sympathetic light as well, hinting at heinkel getting future development and most likely a redemption arc). heinkel then lashes out (which is a Sad pattern in this family given wilhelm also does that... and its implied that heinkel is also like this Because of wilhelm's influence) to deal with all of this too (and because he Genuinely thinks those things now. hes a sad bitter man). we also know from side stories that heinkel used to be a good man who truly loved reinhard, and we do know that heinkel still loves louanna and has spent YEARS searching for a cure. as for reinhard, he was a CHILD (five when it first started!!) throughout almost all of this conflict, and hes the youngest member of his family and still young even as he’s grown up now. and he certainly didnt Intend to kill his own grandma when he was five, and he definitely deals with the guilt of all that years later. he shuts down around his family in the present, for one. and two—reinhard was failed by his family members, who have been ADULTS for the entire conflict and are his father and grandfather respectively. if anything, reinhard has the least blame here. he was a child!! a child thats been conditioned into serving the kingdom at All Costs to himself!! heinkel and wilhelms grief is understandable but it should not cost them their literal child!! they were the ones with the responsibility to pull themselves together and they failed to do that!!

but then reinhard kills theresia.

the thing with reinhard killing theresia is that reinhard was very much not wrong for that. tappei takes the time to show corpse soldier theresia going after heinkel and wilhelm—both of which are too weak in this moment physically and emotionally to stop theresia, WHO IS THEIR MOTHER AND WIFE RESPECTIVELY. and iirc wilhelm was also injured by her. heinkel pisses himself in fear while begging for her to stop—or something along those lines. its Terrifying. and it shows theresia, as she was in that moment, is a threat!! what else was reinhard going to do?? if he doesnt apprehend theresia, shes going to kill the rest of their family T^T

yeah so. reinhard kills theresia. afterwards, heinkel and wilhelm give reinhard shit for it but again, they were going to DIE if reinhard hadnt stepped in. and its clear that reinhard is saddened by what he had to do, even as he says that the corpse soldier theresia ISNT THERESIA. and reinhard is technically kind of right!! that was a corpse soldier!! she was both theresia (her last words to wilhelm are proof of this) and Not Theresia (she already died years ago!! this was a reanimated corpse!!).

its wilhelm and heinkel that misinterpret reinhard’s demeanor as him Not Caring. because he does care, but reinhard has always had an uncanny personality—likely partly because of trauma (remember how i said he shuts down a bit around his family? common trauma response) and partly because of reinhard’s endless divine protections giving him a very. Unique. perspective on everything. so reinhard has difficulty with connecting with others because of all of that. hes Really hard to read, especially in a complicated situation like this where its basically a lose-lose for everyone involved. wilhelm and heinkel are blinded by their grief and fear and anger and because reinhard 1. killed theresia, 2. said that that Wasnt Theresia, and 3. said he didnt regret killing theresia and 4. said that he did the right thing (which is probably because, again, what else could he do, theresia was going to kill heinkel and wilhelm)... yeah so wilhelm and heinkel read reinhard as being cold and unfeeling and callous so they both completely give up on reinhard in this moment. the coffin is. metaphorically and literally closed here, reinhard killing theresia (again. for the second time. if youre heinkel and wilhelm) was the very last nail.

and ultimately like. again, tappei gives us All the narrative tools to understand each member of the astrea family in this conflict. tappei also even notes the detail (iirc. in like a qna somewhere. if someone can find it or whatever please feel free to add!!) of theresia, on her death bed in arc 5, had nothing to say to reinhard and heinkel. its kind of. weird. when she makes SURE that wilhelm knows that she loves him but she doesnt even bother with her son and grandson - and heinkel does note that she looked at them "hatefully" (which. heinkel is an unreliable narrator, but its interesting for tappei to include that detail because heinkel also goes "she looked at us like That, who else could that be but mother?"). so uh. astrea family dynamics are complicated, have likely always been complicated even before everything went wrong with them, and tappei also gives us theresias full backstory in her pov in arc 5. AND he shows that the corpse soldier was still. Theresia. in the end. its extremely complicated. tappei takes the time to show that with every detail.

so anyway. yeah i feel like we're meant to sympathize with everyone in the astrea family. theyre all people with their own flaws, theyve all contributed in some way to the conflict whether they like it or not, they all have various degrees of blame, if you really want to go into whos the Most Guilty for all the dysfunction. even poor louanna contributed indirectly via falling into a coma T^T

but i dont think tappei means for us to like hate any of them. just because tappei Always shows how complicated the situation is. tappei is Always sympathetic to all astrea members as much as tappei also often calls them out for their flaws (heinkel is the most obvious example, tappei also does it with theresia and wilhelm a bit, and reinhard is shown to be a bit stilted in social situations with a habit of stomping on other peoples boundaries sometimes without realizing or because he thinks its for the other persons good, etc). and as much as i love making jokes at wilhelms expense because he did fuck up quite a Lot with his family (same with heinkel... and im a little sus of theresia but she Did care about heinkel in the past, we know that from her named chapter)...

like. i can understand where someone like wilhelm is coming from. do i hate him for lashing out at his five year old grandson and helping turn his son against his grandson? oh yeah. yeah. but i can Understand why he did it and i feel bad for him, which i think was more so tappei's goal here. so the audience can hate any of these characters if you so feel like it, but tappei means for us to deeply deeply get where they're coming from and why they did what they did. so maybe its more so that we're not supposed to hate these characters, maybe we're just supposed to hate Their Actions and wish that things didnt turn out that way. because it couldve been better at any turn - wilhelm couldve just not lashed out and blamed reinhard when he was five, heinkel couldve also pulled himself together, louanna didnt have to go into a coma, theresia didnt have to die twice, etc etc. but thats the point of it all i think. it turned for the worse but all we can do is try to think about How it turned out this way. and i pity all of them, really.

plus, reinhard, wilhelm, heinkel are 1000% getting some kind of further development with this, i'd say. and rezero is Repeatedly about forgiveness and growth, so yeah. i absolutely dont think we're supposed to fully hate any of them. if anything, im rooting for their growth before its. you know. Too Late. but yeah thats just my extremely long opinion/feelings on all of this, people are totally free to disagree of course :o !! hope that answers your question though!!

[resident-rats]

”Send me an AU and a ship and I'll tell you 5 things that would happen if it was a fic.”

uhhh serennedy bartender AU

(idk I don’t really do au’s…)

OMG NO THANK YOU, THATS SUCH A CONCEPT <33

I think Luis would be such a great barman ngl, he would make so many interesting drinks and would be so good at making conversation with customers

• I’d like to think that Leon goes to the bar and orders a drink and tries to sulk on a barstool or something, but Luis comes over and starts talking to him, and doesn’t really leave him alone?? But in an endearing way? And as much as Leon tries to make out it’s annoying, he goes back there. After a while he goes more regularly, and lowkey learns what days Luis works

• Maybe he shows Leon how to make snazzy drinks one time, complaining that all the man orders is whiskey and needs to branch out. Again Leon pretends to not be a fan of the drinks Luis creates but like… he still drinks them each time 👀. And idk maybe Luis is determined to make a drink Leon will finally admit he likes

• Eventually it gets to the point where he’s confiding in Luis, and Luis lets Leon stay after hours and have a drink with him after his shift?

• Over time that becomes a pattern, and it’s obvious that Luis is flirting through the drinks he makes for him?? Though Leon gets jealous when he sees Luis having kinda casual back and forth banter with other customers?? (Though he doesn’t make them drinks like he does for Leon)

• Eventually Luis ends up inviting him back to his flat after work one night, and it turns out he had bought a bottle of the whiskey Leon likes in advance (Luis isn’t a whiskey drinker), and… well I’m sure you get the picture lol

Thank you so much for the ask though!! <33

[born-in-hell]

u all are now doomed to see my opinion on qbbh/ron situation

u all know i wanted ron to have eaten ron SO BAD, but mainly bc the reaction from the other islanders when they learned abt it wouldve been GREAT. in a qbbh story viewpoint yeaahh it wouldve killed rons lore way too fast and early imo. in the long run itd be easily forgotten by us and forgiven by the islanders (especially since qcellbit lives normally w pac, and he ate his leg) (and also foolish, phill, fit, mike, mouse and cellbit wouldnt even care, some would even support him). there would be no payoff to it all. qbbh got some info, tortured the worker, didnt save the kids, had a mental breakdown and then ate said worker. it wouldve been too abrupt

but giving the kidnapped worker STOCKHOLM SYNDROME is in a whooole other level. and it STILL makes sense in qbbhs personality. qbbh is not heartless. he used to treat ron worse when he thought the fed workers were mindless puppets. As soon as ron started to show he was an individual, qbad started to pity him. And missing his lover, being in weird terms w his other potential love interest and best friend, feeling used and distrusted by his fellow islanders, and more important, missing his children, made him try to find someone to relate and care to again. and that someone was ron.

and now it is the best and also the most messed up as it can get. after the talk w qbagh, qbbh was pushed to do the right thing and help ron escape the fed. but hes not dumb. he probably realised that is ron trusted him he would give more info. and thats what happened.

and as time passes, ron becomes more of a person and less of a mindless worker. there is a pattern between all the workers. the more they interact w residents, the more human they become. theres smth interesting abt this, but who am i to guess

him trusting his captor is weird to us. but in context, the fed aparently was HORRIBLE to the workers. mental control, no breaks, possibl experiments and torture. it is so much that ron fears the fed more than he fears qbad.

so yeah this whole things messed up, and ccbbh probably wants it this way kkkkkkkkkkkkkk this is one of the most morally grey arcs weve gotten and its so fun imo

yeah this is it i may add more things later but for now im tired

edit: Ive also been thinking what if the workers start misteriously disappering and all of a sudden everyone discovers that bbh has been kidnapping them and making a ""worker village"? like he sees how horrific the fed is, and starts helping the workers escape. he gets to fred and then he gives qbbh info abt the eggs as a trade. but everyone thinks hes torturing them and he starts to isolate himself again aaaaaaaaa

[corvidcrowned]

Peeks in

Hi i finished yttd and now i have to ask what exactly is the ai test idiots au? im very curious,,, from what i can tell its a sara ai? who became sentient? but idk abt the others lol im just oh so interested

ok so get this right.

the ai sims- aka where the percentages are from- were disrupted one day when a glitch happened, messing with everything going on in the facility. This happened when the sara ai won, causing her to achieve self-awareness! (Here’s a comic of what happened from red’s perspective kinda)

Before this event, the sims went pretty normally- one or two people winning and all the others dying. Noticeable patterns showed up though! The sara ai and keiji ai were pretty much nemeses, the sara ai killed the shin ai most times, and the anzu ai had a pretty decent win rate, particularly because of her rivalry with the sara ai. ‘PLEASE stop killing people’ ‘ermm.make me?’ You know.

The glitch that made the sara ai becoming self aware led to some other weird stuff happening though. For example the sim itself would glitch often leading to the ais themselves to get super corrupt for short periods of time. Very strange and unusual. Michiru was supervising all this but scientific curiosity was too much to make everything normal again.

Fun fact though !! The Sara ai ends up becoming a lot more different from the original, eventually becoming his whole own person entirely !! He goes by Red, originally a nickname from Michiru because of his eyes. He/it/bite little creature guy<3 the anzu ai clings to being ‘anzu’ longer though, since for a while getting back home because her family needed her was what kept her going. Eventually though, they accepted being an ai, picking out the name ‘Pierrot’ with Red’s help. The two of them won a lot of simulations together! Pier wins some alone too ofc but unlike red’s weird mother-son like relationship with Michiru, pierrot does not like her at all (here’s how they met)

Eventually the simulation is concluded and red gets put into a doll body (which is drastically customized- fangs and his red eyes. He cuts his hair a little bit too hehe) while Pierrot manages to get into the general system at asunaro. The two don’t see each other for a while because of this unfortunately but eventually they do reunite, pier just living in red’s (stolen) phone sometimes. <3

Red and Pier’s funny lil story goes in a few directions depending on things, they show up in a collaborative au between me and some friends (ai guys<3) and some other stuff, I wanna make a comic abt them eventually (the Pluto project..<3) but their ‘canon’ end is them living with the survivors of the death game!! Because. Red’s ass broke into the dg LOL. He was like ‘heyyyy emiri ^^ you know what would be funny..’ and she was like. ‘Get in there boy’. So red ends up hangin around and messing/hanging out with people!!! Like kai(here) and gin(here) but he and sara REALLY DO NOT GET ALONG!!!!

You see… Red is very jealous of Sara. Why did he have to be created just for her sake? How come she got homecooked meals and a family that loved her and friends and school and he had to live through hell every day?? Ofc sara’s life isn’t that great (her father is literally meister after all..) but red does not know that. Sara finds herself disturbed by red. This weird copy of her keeps running around causing trouble and insulting her to her face.. she thinks he was thrown in to make everyone trust her less or something. They’re so messed up…. After the death game though they hang out a lot. Make amends. I ljike them..

ERM YEAH THATS ALL OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD..!!! Also candy’s here sometimes she’s a cute pink girl who kills<3 (she also is an ai of shin who takes after midori… a lot. Because she was directly under his thumb and had to deal with him she began to associate violence and love until the two concepts totally overlapped in her mind. AND she’s trans!)

[its-no-biggie]

hmm havent been rvb posting much..... time to talk about simmons and caboose! cause a while ago i saw a post saying that simmons and caboose are on "opposite ends of the autism spectrum", which is SO true and i wanna talk about the different ways theyre each autistic coded.

[apparently i am incapable of writing a reasonable length post, sheesh]

bc like. simmons is what people typically think "mild" autism looks like. textbook "aspergers". theres a reason im using terms that arent used by the autistic community, and its because autistic people arent the ones who make these kinds of distinctions. this is autism as seen by neurotypicals: socially awkward, smart in one area of expertise but talks about it a little too much, annoyingly pedantic at times.... you get the idea. and while these are autistic traits that i can relate to, i feel like caboose is a better representation of what it feels like to actually have autism. like, he has an easier time making friends with robots than people, he never understands whats going on except for the time travel in season 17, where hes the ONLY one who understands it. he doesnt understand figurative language, constantly misses obvious social cues or breaks unwritten rules that everyone should know, and has a very hard time lying, deceiving, or keeping information from people.

and i think the reason caboose is more relatable even though simmons is more "textbook" autistic, is because caboose is written as DISABLED. he has a hard time following simple conversations. he cant understand things that should be obvious. everyone around him is constantly frustrated because "why cant he just DO it??" so even if his symptoms dont line up exactly with autism (especially since the way hes written changes over the course of the show), at the end of the day, autism is a disability. so personally, i relate a lot more with him and his struggles than someone like simmons, who is awkward and "weird", but doesnt really seem to struggle with day to day life.

in short: simmons is what masked autism (especially if you have a useful special interest, like computers) looks like from an outside perspective. a little awkward, talks too much, but smart where it counts. generally "useful", and mostly "normal". but caboose is what it feels like to grow up with autism. always confused, everyone treats you like youre different and you cant really do anything about it, cant seem to get along with anyone even though you just want to be friends, and no matter what you do, you screw up everything you touch.

anyway im not saying that simmons isnt autistic, or that hes "less" autistic (bc that isnt a thing lol). simmons just masks a lot better than caboose. thats what an autistic person pretending to be "normal" acts like (its certainly how i act around other people lmao). but because hes not written by an autistic person, they write him like thats all there is to it. which is kind of unfortunate because it feels like theres a whole other side to him that we never really get to see.

now, the fact that the writers set out to write a nerd and wrote an autism stereotype, and set out to write a dumbass and wrote someone who is clearly disabled..... that is a whole separate conversation that im not gonna get into. especially since i dont really know much about rooster teeth, aside from the fact that the fandom seems to have wholly rejected them, and of course what i can see just from watching the show. but i think its clear that its not exactly good representation.

anyway, i still hc them both as autistic, and if/when i write them, i hope my interpretation reflects that while still being true to the characters. it actually works out great for me that theres one autistic person on each team, because whenever im thinking of dialogue and i have an idea thats a little too autistic (like saying something really blunt or picking up on a pattern most people wouldnt notice) i can usually give it to one of them instead of writing it out entirely. which works out really well for caboose especially, because he tends to be quiet during exposition unless hes addressed (bc he cant follow it). so having him make autism commentary can break up all the "blue team problems" nicely. plus having him innocuously call people out when theyre being ambiguous is WAY funnier than "haha caboose doesnt know whats going on" imho

[wolves0nmars]

american healthcare by penelope scott but make it leon s. kennedy.

verse 1, "when i was seven years old i saw a dead man in the road..." could relate to the early loss of his parents and leon's first experience with a police officer. plenty of children are exposed to violence at an early age, and leon is no exception. this experience desensitized him to violence and to cope with it he focused on the positive experience he had with that cop, and decided he wanted to be an officer in order to help people.

he helped claire, sherry, ashley, etc. there's actually kind of a pattern of him "saving" female characters and kind of affirming his own masculinity by doing so. this makes his interactions with ada and luis very interesting, the former of course being a woman that doesnt need his saving and the latter being a man that desperately needs his saving. but thats a conversation for another time.

and in the chorus of the song, "you corporate fucking prick, i did not become a doctor just to suck the devil's dick" relates to him a lot. because leon s kennedy sucks a lot of d---he has a lot of experiences with "corporate overlords", like simmons. but also this doesn't just apply to specific individuals. leon is in law enforcement because he wants to protect people. he was a police officer because he wanted to protect people, he is an agent because he wants to protect as many people around the world in the long run optimally in the most efficient way. but he consistently runs into the problem that his job as a police officer is not to protect people. its to protect private property. his job as an agent is not to protect people. its to protect corporate interests. he's in the wrong job.

i really hope we see leon be a firefighter or an emt some day. like, obviously hes a little old and definitely traumatized enough, but those are occupations where your job literally is just to help people, not keep corporate interests in mind.

and in verse 2 "I asked the right questions, i never even really got bored" relates to him really well too. leon quite easily slipped into his role as "right hand man", never wondering or asking just what exactly left hand was up to. because truthfully, he didn't want to know. he preferred the comfort that came with not knowing.

or in verse 3, "it trickled into both my ears, it got louder over the years, until all that i could hear were fuckin' flies" probably relates to leon the most out of any line from this song. it perfectly represents how incredibly corrupted leon has become. it's also worth mentioning how resident evil viruses do sometimes take the form of insects. you could kind of look at it like a direct parallel between government corruption and the viruses he's fighting. they're both equally parasitic, infectious, and harmful. i imagine sometimes leon just wishes he'd be infected finally, because it's better than this torturous process of corruption. in the pre chorus, she says "sometimes it's like they'd rather die" and i think sometimes it's like he'd rather die.

it's such a great song about american capitalism and how easily it can corrupt people's naive hopes and dreams of helping people. because leon s kennedy... has been corrupted. time and time again throughout the RE franchise we see commanding officers from private corporations, governments, law enforcement, etcetera being revealed as evil and every time... the main characters just kill the guy and get back to work. they never stop and consider... maybe it's not about just one guy. maybe its not about just this one individual that happened to be evil. maybe something made him evil... maybe something allowed him to be evil... and maybe its the exact same thing that i work for... or something like that idk lolllllll.

i really hope we see leon kind of "break the cycle" and have the kinds of realizations that are in this song because like... BITCH... that stupid little boy is lucky hes so pretty!!!

also im really sorry for derailing a song about a womans experience in academia and social services under capitalism and stuff to be about this white boy in the CIA... i hope this little analysis doesnt detract from the actual song. cause like... its a great song and we dont need to make it about leon stupid little bitch kennedy for it to be good.

[acaciapines]

I just had a thought: do you think that in a world where daemons are out & about as an everyday fact of life, societies would veer more towards largely pedestrian, just because a lot of settled daemons might not be able to fit into vehicles?

okay so i've been thinking about this nonstop since you sent it lol and i am. going to go on a very long answer. so um apologizes in advance??? i'm sure i'll answer the question somewhere. the short answer is do whatever you want forever, and likely in a real-world scenario it would be a sort of case-by-case basis on the local cultural values and historical patterns of settling.

my gut answer is "no," actually, for a few different reasons. i have a few different ways of writing worlds with daemons based on what i want to say with the story, but most of them are sort of based on interrogating the text of his dark materials because it presents a very interesting and incredibly unsatisfying picture of daemons, at least to me. and so because of that, i think a core concept is like, okay, what DO people settle as??

because, like, that's what this question is based on--this idea of, what do people settle as? i think probably early human societies would veer pedestrian, but i also think early human societies wouldnt actually settle young, or maybe even at all. bc of how hard survival is back then, the ability to change form is like, a premium. its sort of a privilege for a daemon to settle as a sparrow, and not, like, need to be a wolf sometimes to defend the town's sheep, or a horse to haul up the materials for building. i think actual animals would still be used for these tasks, but like, if you can turn into a horse, sometimes its easier to just do it yourself, rather than having to build trust with an animal, you know?

but blah blah blah, things keep developing. people want to go further, and keep pushing further. so, we are still going to get ships, because sea travel is still really hard even if half of you can turn into an orca whale. and i think as societies develop so too do like, humans put meanings onto the animals around them, and now settling SAYS something about a person, and i feel like you can come up with all sort of stigmas. like, if you settle as a working animal (think horses, oxen, etc) you're seen as inherently lower class than someone who settles as a lion. and now its a bit easier to keep the predators away, so people dont need to hold out on settling for so long, and now theres MEANING behind settling. and this means you can do it wrong.

so, like, what i'm getting as here is i think most people would end up settling pretty small anyways. like, big dog-sized being the larger end of things. if you look at hdm there's already a mammal bias, if you look at daemonfic as a whole there's a canine and feline bias, and i think this would hold true in a real world situations, too. settled form is (as i write it) influenced very much by what a kid is exposed to growing up--as time goes on the idea is you settle younger, and younger, and you settle as the RIGHT sort of animal, the sorts that are good and noble and say something good. you dont settle as, like, a sea cucumber. and an elephant, well--thats so BIG! you really like to take up space, dont you? how...interesting.

and so as things industrialize i think trains, cars, planes all still come to be. i think the expectation is you settle smaller to make up for it. lowkey i think something like the americans with disabilities act is passed for people with larger daemons, but i think the same sort of stuff happens--like, yeah, this school is accessible for people with bison-daemons! you have to call ahead so somebody can set up the fright elevator for you, and you can't go out in the main halls, and like, maybe it follows the law technically, but. like. its not great.

um. basically i think a world with daemons (if we base it off of HDM, which i do more often than not these days) has a lot of biases and discrimination regarding settled form that would lead to places not really being any better than they are today. because the assumption is you settle small. and if you dont settle small, well thats a you problem, isnt it? its not for the "normal" people to fix.

BUT ALL THAT SAID i think a society that is more pedestrian is also perfectly plausible. i think its just down to what sort of story you want to tell. and right now the most recent daemon au i wrote is my owl house daemon au, wherein the way i built out the human world was entirely based on my issues with hdm, and the entire central conflict on the story is around the idea of settling, so...this.

uh, i hope that answers things! feel free to send in followups lol i have Many Thoughts About Daemons.

[metavandetta23]

nobody is going to read this, so I am just gonna put it out there warning: rambling from some fucking guy ever. you have been warned.

life sucks, blah blah blah, but instead of just complaning about that, how about I give you bit explenation as to why. so sit down there one of my 121 followers. If anyone of you read that is and not just clicked follow on one art I made and buzzed off (no offense there, just saying.) Okay so you might ask, why now out of sudden i blow like up that. Here is the answer: See, I have been doing creative stuff like, be it art, writing, music or whatever for past..... lets say 4-5 years. As you might guess, some of these ventures didnt pan out in the end. i mean, its given. It happens. Let me mention some of the things I tried over the years. I tried making a homestuck comic on mspa when I first started doing creative stuff. I managed to get pretty far compared to most projects I will mention, but I didnt finish in the end. Why? I got burned out, because I worked on it full non stop. Then I tried having a cool rp campagin session with pals from discord server I known. That ended in tragedy, especially after one of them out of fucking blue, send a fucking gore of dead person. None of us expected this to happen. Earlier I tried music, couldnt do that thing earlier unless you call "music" by swapping midis with shitty piano font. Well, atleast it didnt end up with a gore.

Then I tried working on some ut aus. Did it even work? HAHAHAHAHAHA, what do you think? Ofcourse, not. Didnt peak interest, because I didnt capture interest basically. Anyways this goes on and on. Deltarune au there, some another rp server there and there (one turned into glorified horny rp out of college setting that I tried initially, pal if you are reading this, sorry but this server just sucked ass) I think you might start seeing a pattern here. You would think eventually. That being "Gee meta, thats sure lot of failures, you must have atleast succed one time BIG right?" Haha, no. Okay I did manage to finish some of my stuff but like. really really low bar stuff. so essentially in the eyes for everyone, nothing. See, most of the failures from these projects came from me doing solo. You would think me teaming up with someone would help? Not really, unless I literally pay them money for it, tough fucking luck. Out of 5 years of me doing creative shit, only 4 people helped me out that I recall. they couldnt helped me out for long in the end, but i appreciated for them when they could. all rest of people? Fucking went ghost and then I was left alone, figuring this shit out myself. It isnt fun knowing that you put trust in someone, only in the end to be alone in this in the end. I wish I was so fucking talented, creative, witty or self efficent as the people i asspire to, the artists i admire who make works of artm writers who can write witty, fun but touching stories. I wish I could be at thier level, so I could make great works of art. But atlas, I am not. I dont seek glory or fame, even if it would be nice. No, I just want people to enjoy creating what I make, to feel like I have impact on the world, that people can share with. to make connections with. Look in the end I am just 20 year old guy from europe, that isnt much good at anything, including social life, apperantly. Only thing I am good at is pixel art, but just barely. I am very much uncreative person. and unconfident and rather hopeless one these days, despite how much I try to hide in fake smiles.

I dont have much better way to end this sort of ramble, besides mentioning tobys recent post from spring newslettter and my view on it. "There's times where it feels like your hopes and dreams are simply slipping away from you. That the things you wanted to achieve are floating away from you in the sky while you lie there, fallen in a crater, your wing torn off, never to grow back. Bitterness grows, and you feel like you may never leave the ground again.

But

That's not true.

You can still fly.

Even if you lose a piece of yourself, even if it feels like you can't get up anymore, you can. You can fly with one wing. You can fly without any wings."

Can you really even fly, even if you feel like a part of yourself was torn off? That it happened right before you could even took off. No matter how much you struggle, scream and rage. You can still never to be able to fly like others, much even take off from ground. No matter how much you try. You feel shackled to ground, to the bones of earth. While you look towards as sky, as other people dance in the air beyond your wildest imagination. Its so beautiful, yet so out of your reach. Cries of helps can be heared coming from you from miles in the air. But they all fall on the deaf ears. Or maybe its just out of bliss ignorance? You cant say. You want to join them, join them so badly. To feel like you could finally be a part of something greater. To feel like you could belong somewhere. To be cared. But you just cant. It wasnt meant to be made. Resentment grows inside your soul. As that feeling rots inside you more and more. Part of you wishes this feeling to be gone, to never be felt. But the other part, says otherwise. It wants that liberty desperately, looking with its green eyes at them. Why they? Why not me. Why not me at all!?. You just want what they have yourself. It grows inside you more and more as you allow it to. You eventually consdering tearning off other people wings. Even if you cant ever fly agian, doesnt mean you should be the only who suffer like this right? And why do they deserve to fly, anyway. They would be better off without that, you think. Plus, even in this state. You know you can do this option. To cripple someone, just to make yourself feel better even if its only for a moment. But then you realise. If you ever would reach to that point. Whatever drive you initally, would be just gone. In fear of your insecurities and weakness. You decide to lie up, instead. Rendering your shackled and vulerable. Locked inside, with no way or out. Perhpas in the end.... Its better if you dont fly at all...

[bijoumikhawal]

Re your latest post: this is your free invitation to talk about Hebitian art vs Cardassian art! (And if either impacts the clothing we see on the show)

Would also love to hear more about your read of Garak as biracial, and any scenes on DS9 that may change with this context in mind

Hoho, I do have some thoughts

So Hebitians' deal, historically, with clothing, is that it's very drapey. The most popular piece of clothing across Hebitian cultures is a "kilt*", a long piece of fabric wrapped around the waist and gathered in the hand in the front and back for leg + tail movement. Everyone had this, even if it was quite short, or another piece of fabric that also wraps around the waist but comes up between the legs and has a slit in the back.

This is reflected in Hebitian art which I picture has having a midpoint between Amarna art and Mauryan art

Other Hebitian clothes, including more "structured" Hebitian clothes, follow this.

For example, here is Garak in some pre-Union Qåmtsu (his ethnic group within broader Hebitian culture) clothing. His "kilt", as can be seen, isn't a long pieve of fabric gathered in hand each time its worn- its made of several pieces of fabric sewn together (though it is a wraparound). Additionally his blouse here retains the simpler gathered look, and it's held closed with pins.

Qåmtsu clothing is the most similar to Cardassian clothing because they lived in a region where both groups really couldn't avoid each other pre-Union. Its still pretty distinctly Hebitian. A few clothes that I think have some Hebitian origin in Cardassian life are gathered dresses we see Bajoran comfort women wearing- the Cardassian stereotype of Hebitians is that they're sexually loose, so draped clothing thats viewed as similar to theirs is seen in a particular way. (And this is an example of how despite there not necessarily being very much direct interaction between the two, their treatment under the Cardassian Union is irrevocably interlinked).

Both groups had a strong calligraphy and ink painting tradition beforehand, with Hebitians traditionally usually using reed pens and Cardassian using brushes (something of an interesting incongruity considering their overall aesthetics).

By contrast I think Cardassian art really likes glassware, and what I call "relief painting". The glassware is because we actually see quite a bit of stained glass used in Cardassian architecture- I've mentioned this before when talking about what colors get canonically used in Cardassian contexts (the default Cardassian color is brown, btw). The fondness for colored glass really just makes sense to me, it's an easy way of dimming light for your poor little lizard eyes while looking pretty and potentially using an abundant resource. A lot of jewelry and household objects are made of glass- but what's really important are glass tiling and mosaic.

So we all know mosaic, and as you can imagine this is where the very geometric, colorblocked nature of Cardassians is reflected in art. There is of course, a great ability to depict detail in mosaic, but there are things that are easier than others. Cardassians don't really do asymmetry, they don't do wrinkles or visible closures**, and if they do small details they're still noticeable. If they need ease, they use pleats. The color blocking has morphed in recent years, as economic struggles make piecing fabric more common (basically if you're working with poor yardage, you can sew two small pieces of fabric together and cut the pattern piece out of the new bigger piece) to the point where its morphed into color blocking again really, and is a public display of patriotism and frugality.

Making the tiles themselves isn't an exception either, though glass cane can be made with more free patterns- theres still an emphasis on symmetry and regularity.

"Relief painting" isn't really painting at all. Relief paintings are typically done starting with a sheet of inflexible material, which is painted on with a thin clay, cement, or similar material to create texture. This is gradually built up to depict a landscape or scene, looking much like a carved relief in the end. Some artists use different colors of material to create an effect, but many of these are done in monotone to allow the skill of applying texture to stand on its own merit.

(* we're using kilt here because I don't know a better word to use than the very vague "Sarong" or maybe "fouta")

(** unless you're working class or rural poor)

---

And as for scenes in the show... there's a few, such as "...you must be true to yourself..." "with beliefs like that you wouldn't last 5 seconds on Cardassia" "would you?", but the one I've thought about is "I never betrayed you in my heart". But first, let's contextulize that.

“Yes,” I answered. The benign mask was slipping, and I began to see the depth of his anger. “And when he does, your powerful enemy now becomes an implacable one. He won’t rest until he has destroyed every trace of you.” He was spitting his words at me. “What are you going to do?” he demanded. “I don’t know,” I admitted with tightly wound control. “You don’t know!” he repeated with a disgust I hadn’t heard since I was a boy and failed to record all the details of one of our walks. “And I’m supposed to pass my life’s work on to someone who can’t think beyond his lust?” “It’s not lust,” I argued. “Sentimentality,” he hissed. “Even worse. You jeopardize our mission, the security of our people because of pathetic sentiments. And all this while, instead of giving up your life to the work, hardening yourself into a leader who could inspire others and expand the vision, you’re playing out Hebitian fantasies with another man’s wife!” “Yes. Just like Tolan!” I exploded. “Perhaps he was my real father after all.” Tain rose like a man many years younger and grabbed my shoulder in a powerful grip. His anger was now a murderous fury and it was all I could do to hold my stance against the pain of his grip. His cold eyes told me I had betrayed him. Worse, I had failed him. He let go of my shoulder and turned away from me. My entire body trembled. When he turned back he had regained his composure.

I've talked before about how the betrayal here in ASIT is Garak threatening to view Tolan as his real father and go "full Hebitian" as it were- that's the thing in the scene where Tain tells him he's retiring that makes Tain angry enough that Garak thinks for a second he might kill him, and the other thing they're discussing is Garaks affair with Palandine which connects with him being Hebitian in two ways:

1) Palandine is an expression of Garak's "sentiment" which is both connected to him being a massive fucking queen and Hebitian and 2) my little headcanon previously mentioned and how literally every other man around Garak seems to be a cheating manwhore, but when he (lower class, mixed race, bisexual but unacceptably gender nonconforming) does it, then it's enough justification for a man who does the exact same shit if not worse (Barkan was fucking his employee/subordinate, and I wouldnt be suprised if he went for a comfort woman too given he actually was an architectural mind behind Terok Nor and Dukat’s friend, but him doing so is not explicitly mentioned) to kidnap, torture, and possibly try to kill him.

So we get to Improbable Cause, and Garak sees his piece of shit father for the first time in at least 4 years assuming he was exiled a year before that start of the show (I think ASIT implies it couldn't have been more than 2 or 3 years living on Terok Nor, but I've seen people suggest a decade-ish, which is interesting to explore).

TAIN: You blew up your own shop? You, my friend, are a true original. If you hadn't betrayed me, things would have been very different. GARAK: I never betrayed you! At least, not in my heart. Why do you think I'm here? I came because I thought the Romulans were trying to kill you. I came here to save you. TAIN: I never thought I'd hear myself say this, Garak, but I believe you. You can go.

As a refresher, Garak gets legitimately emotional and upset while saying that line (which makes it a great bookend to his outburst years ago). You can say acting but- one of the things that Garak "betrayed" Tain with was his sentiment. Garak knows this. It wouldn't benefit him to pretend to be emotional.

To me, when Tain says he believes Garak, what he means is "You're still a sentimental waste and I have no use for you", and is part of why he has Garak torture someone who, while he hasn't seen Garak give an indication he cares about, tips his hand and gives an indication he cares about Garak on some level while urging him to deny Tain's offer and leave. All three of them know, that Tain isn't really expecting information, that's not the point of this (torture doesn't get you information! Certainly not accurate information! It's about power). It's Garak proving he can be a real Cardassian. Because of sentiment it's both about the toxic machismo found in fascist societies and torture cells specifically, and Garak proving his ethnic worthiness.

As an aside, I recently read an excerpt about the actions of soldiers during the Dersim genocide that had a similar interaction to the under current here, when we recontextualize Garak as mixed race- a soldier told his superior that he couldn't do as ordered and kill children, and his superior said "you Kurd, you sympathize with them because of your race, right?" and killed him on the spot.

When Garak says "not in my heart" he's saying he still views Tain as his father, but Tain can never just be Garak's father. Tain is/was one of the most important officials in the Cardassian government. Tain is not just Tain- he is Cardassia (or part of it, anyway). Garak threatening to view Tolan as his father wasn't just about their relationship, and Garak threatening to fight Tain's power over him. Its a threat from Garak to refuse Cardassia's power over him. Its a threat to stop being part of that power, violence, and oppression, and to stop serving it. Some of this is due to broader social trends, and some if it is because Tain created a specific environment to raise Garak in. At the end of that scene in ASIT, we get this

As I watched him leave, I felt completely empty and wondered how I could feel such emptiness. This sudden, wrenching reversal of fortune... everything changed beyond recognition. ...And yet ... there was no anger, no self-pity ... no fear. Only release. Release from the secrets. Release from the limbo where, ever since I was a boy, I had been trapped between imposed obligations and feelings of mysterious longing mixed with shame. I felt empty ... and free.

I think I've also talked before about the line I italicized again, being about Hebitian identity. Of course, this freedom from secrecy, obligations, and shameful longing doesn't and could never last- even if Garak quit the order, he'd have to live in secrecy because of persecution, and if he continued going deeper into Hebitian religion he'd have to reckon with the fact that after the first time he attended a meeting he considered reporting everyone there to the authorities and has been part of the system that enslaved and genocided Hebitians, and at this point was still doing that to Bajorans.

And by telling Tain he recognizes him as his father- it's a plea that doesn't work because it's very existence betrays what he is, always has been, and always will be. If Garak had walked out, maybe he'd have lived, maybe he'd have died. But Tain would still view him as a traitor. Though, hilariously- if Garak was less sentimental, he'd have been less beholden to Tain in the first place. He certainly wouldnt have come in In Purgatory's Shadow. Maybe he'd have even killed him at some point for being a piece of shit father. And Tain himself was sentimental with Garak and Mila, and he knows it. He's allowed to be. They aren't.

[seavoice]

the olympians generational trauma is so so important to me. rick focused a lot on trauma and abuse in toa but he never focused on the fact that for apollo its inherited. he never focused on how it was a cycle and how it all started with ouranos and fathers and sons and wanting to do better and end up succumbing and and and

cruelest thing is that he was so close to touching on it too. in THO, there’s a paragraph about rachel saying they can choose their fate and apollo thinking “i’ve seen thats not possible, i’ve seen people repeat patterns thinking they’re doing something different when they’re just retracing the same paths previous generations took, but there’s something admirable about human persistence.” in TON there was a whole page about how “there never were any good old days since the problems never change as mortals and gods alike carrying their own baggage with them, but we should overcome it and move forward.” like you want to talk about the generational trauma so bad PLEASE DO IT OLD MAN. im on my hands and knees FUCKING DO IT. i don’t believe in the olympian revolution i believe in the olympian revelation PLEASE let them see the pattern and realize they have to change, not so that they can avoid the threat of war, but so they can heal and recover from the trauma they inherited from those that came before them.

SAY that anon!! It's all inherited. They want to change, but no God believes they can! Percy tries to have faith at the end of Last Olympian (a lesson he is quite literally pushed to the edge by Echidna to learn in Lightning Thief), despite Hermes shutting him down, and is paid dust for it. They don't believe it themselves. They don't believe in themselves. Hermes says he doesn't believe they can change. So does Apollo. So do Hades and Zeus and Poseidon and Athena and everyone else -- and even if they do change, it's so small and over so long that they find the world has moved under their feet again. And a lot of it is because they believe they're destined for the same vicious cycle. They wouldn't try so hard to avoid it (and fail) if they didn't.

Riordan really had the bones of a very interesting family story in PJO; clearly by the time he hit ToA he was AWARE that there was a scope for some commentary of generational trauma. He does make allusions to it in Apollo's POV, he's always going on about family therapists and how fear motivates them over love, the whole tyrants are insurmountable monologue. I wish I could quote certain passages because they are certainly...present, but my brain is just too fried at the moment to go searching for them.  But I think at the end of the day, he either felt he didn't want to tackle it overtly or change up the structure of his world building by so much. I think it's a poorer series for not doing so, although at the same time I appreciate that we do not look at the morality of these gods or their (for lack of a nuanced term) trauma, and their familial bonds through an entirely "mortal" perspective. I would rather not have a book long therapy session about this. We had TSATS, and I will do anything to avoid that kind of story LMAO.

I think it's also frustrating that Riordan (despite his many many flaws) comes so close to giving a genuinely fascinating reimagining of godly familial dynamics in a middle grade/YA series. That's why when he falls short of the natural conclusion of like... acknowledging conversations about generational wounds it grates doubly so. That's the great thing about the mythology premise -- it's fertile soil for a fun, monster-fighting series for kids, but it also comes with a meaty backstory to exploit, so to speak!  PJO is about family, over everything -- your chosen one, your lost one, your immortal, messy one. It's about never escaping your shadow, it's about seeing your father's eyes in your son's.

Personally I find it SO great that Zeus kills and entraps and tries to snuff out the prophecy (and the prophecy kids!) because he's scared, he's so paralyzed by fear of destruction and then the real threat is his own bloodthirsty father who hated them. That scene at the beginning of The Lightning Thief when Zeus and Poseidon are fighting and Percy tries to stop them but there's a voice--Kronos!--goading them on? Metaphor city. I wish we kept that energy consistently. It's all in the family, baby!

It's all about the cycles of inescapable tragedy. When you build a kingdom on the ruins of your father who wants to kill you...and instead of breaking the cycle, power and paranoia corrodes you until you propagate it to the extent that you end up afraid not of yourself becoming your father, but of your son becoming YOU. When you've lost the plot so so bad.