#not that that's a bad thing. i'll be devastated when it's over
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Where we go from here...
It took me awhile last evening to get my mind in the right place to do the baking I had to do. I thought I would put on some music on my little radio station to kick my head into work mode. Tried some Glenn Gould playing Bach (always a go-to for morning coffee music), and it didn't hit right.
So I dialed up the huge mix I have titled "1969-72" and almost immediately started the long road back to feeling like myself. After about a half-hour, I was in the groove. Listened to the mix far into the night, after I'd finished working.
I managed to keep my focus and got the cookies all baked, and kiddo's mom happily packed them up and just left for her party, and I'm over here for the next couple of nights, sadly for my back. Two nights of "No Mattress For Old Men" and I'll need a week to recover, but hey...
Wanna thank all y'all for your comments and messages when I posted that I was prolly just gonna go black. Y'all loved me back off the ledge. Posted in a moment of true despair...something I haven't felt in awhile. I am hurting for all of us...and all of you. I have never in my long life been scared for the nation until now. Or at least that's what I thought. This feeling of complete despair, the emotional pain of millions of people, the hopelessness, the fear for the future...after I sat with it awhile I realized yes, that I have felt this same combination of toxic shit before.
In the 65 years I've been on this stinkin' rock, I've been through a number of particularly devastating previous elections, most notably the two Bush2(Dumbya) regimes. I remember the night of the 2004 election...Americans were posting tearful photos taken by their webcams, with them holding up signs saying "We're sorry."
I saw first-hand all the fights for rights that we have gained from the early '60s onward. To find ourselves set back to square one, 50-60 years later, when we had finally gained some footing toward fairness, is cruel. And cruelty is what they will wield as their main weapons in the coming days, as we suddenly find ourselves in the same predicament as 1963-65 when a virginal Joan Baez and little Bobby Dylan changed protest music forever.
So yes, I have felt this same way, and no, the nation didn't die or descend into complete chaos. Our lives went on, essentially as they had, with a growing pile of "things we can't do anymore" heaped atop via the collective wounding of 9/11.
This is another collective wounding--an intentional collective wounding. The next few months are going to be chaotic, they will try to push through their agenda as quickly as possible come january.
I may not post much overtly political stuff from this point on, but if I do it will be refocused on positive news. I don't know for certain how long that might last, but I can't take a 24/7 barrage of bad news and outrage bait. I'm probably gonna unfollow a few blogs, but don't think it's personal...it is Mental/Emotional Health Care.
And yes, I've been in the trenches with y'all a long time...we are all Family at this point...Brothers and Sisters in arms. I'm not leaving, but my presence/role will be different, out of the renewed sense of self-preservation this has thrust me into.
I woke up disoriented, but quickly remembered I'd gotten what I needed to get done done, and had a slow re-entry, sipping my coffee for a couple hours. I kept remembering how well the music had helped me last night, and then the beginnings of what this might turn into began to coalesce. Concepts of a plan. lulz.
As the day went on, I've been on a roller-coaster, emotionally, with seemingly hopeful leads on a roommate not materializing, on top of my craigslist ad for a roomie getting flagged and deleted. Pretty goddamn hopeless as far as this situation is going.
Looked at the huge box of cookies I'd managed to bake last night and it hit me. I've been reblogging the "Gooood Morning, TUMBLR!" graphics every morning up until the election. The image of Robin Williams being in character calling up the role of the military DJ.
Back when I did my cafe in the mountains of NM, a friend lent me a book called "Radio Venceramos", about South American rebels who had a radio transmitter and clamped the leads to the barbed-wire fences to broadcast their signal/programming to their fellow rebels.
Still not sure how the format will work out, but I've decided: my new role is going to primarily be the voice of inspiration over the air-waves to my fellow rebels. Not sure if it will be a second blog or if it will be a continuation of PTSD, but with no further ado, I will become the Voice of my fellow rebels with:
I may make a second blog out of it, but until then I guess I'll make it a series of posts. Tumblr will let you blog up to ten videos/post, and that may be how I start things out. Consider them like stacks of 45s and LP tracks from my paul-shaffer-brain...meant to help keep spirits up and keep the focus.
Made a couple of graphics, will probably try others in the course of it.
So the message today was "You did what you had to do. Heal up for what's ahead."
I will probably start this new focus in the morning...I'm still chewin'.
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When a fantasy book series doesn't end it's usually because the author just stopped writing it, whereas fantasy webcomics will update religiously for twenty years and still never end
#order of the stick really is getting close though huh . . .#what am i going to do with myself when it ends#i mean. by close i would say at least another two years or so but still#actually given how infrequently it updates we could still have another five. worries postponed#girl genius on the other hand . . . 3x weekly updates for the past 20 years come hell or high water#and are we even anywhere close to an ending?#not that that's a bad thing. i'll be devastated when it's over
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ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏
#haunted ecosystem#i'll take a burst of creativity in a different form than usual than the burnout slump i've been in for a few months#<- part of why my fandom stuff has taken a smidge of a backseat#dont get me wrong i am still very excited about my fandoms im just having fun off in oc hell (affectionate)#its nice to just be able to create and not really worry about perception. and also i feel Less bad about just throwing ocs into the wringer#((blame the fact i've been REALLY interested in whump recently and i have been. fixated. on one of my characters.))#and ALSO i've been! rekindling my flame for wtds. i've been putting off thinking about it since that fic got.#nothing bad happened? but it was still very devastating that somebody who i considered a friend from that fic just. evaporated.#but i'm gonna finish that fic for him :) even if it takes a year. even if it's the one thing i finish ever. it'll be wtds.#for where its gotten me and the fact its what got me out of my shell and is the reason i trust that my writing is good!#i used to really hate rereading my work. i catch flaws that are obvious to me. but that fic. i just think about how *good* the story is#that story means. a lot to me? as a person? like the main character is not a good person. but people care about him anyway.#and there are so many little things. so many sentiments. so much that is a love letter to people who've done bad but learnt to do better#because. god knows i wasnt a good person even just a few years ago. and maybe i see myself in him a bit.#he came from a place of paranoia and fear and pain. and maybe its a good thing that i've found it difficult to write him recently.#because god. i've been HAPPY. even with the rough moments and bad days. i've been happy. i mean fuck.#my birthday's what. ten days away? god damn man. i'm going to be 18. that's an achievement.#i want to look the kid who thought it was over at half my age and tell him we fucking made it. and there are more years to come.#there's a life ahead. even if it's going to be a bitch. even if it's going to be tough. there's love in your heart and people who care and#you're going to fucking live and you're going to feel better one day. you have people to meet properly and thank and cherish.#because for every day it feel like the world's ending there are a dozen more where the sun shines just the right way through the rain#and you can't help but smile because it's just so god damn beautiful.#and fuck it. you're sick. your hands hurt and your legs don't work right. and it's tough sometimes. but you have people who understand.#you have people who honest to god love you for who you are and appreciate your company. and 18 is the first step.#you've spent half your life unlearning things and you've spent half your life relearning how to be what YOU want to be#and if you're a mediocre artist and passionate writer then you'll be fucking great at that. taking the time to learn when it strikes you.#and maybe this is for me. but its also for anybody reading it too. please god if there's one thing you take from this let it be that#somebody out there cares. *I* care. god i care. even if we've never spoken proper i care about you.#i practically have a list of everybody i see in my inbox. i love seeing familiar names show up. i.#i dont know how to neatly wrap up this tag ramble. but. i am so damn full of love it hurts sometimes. its scary to be happy but thats ok!
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What I don't get is that other your support of AI image generation, you're SO smart and well read and concerned with ethics. I genuinely looked up to you! So, what, ethics for everyone except for artists, or what? Is animation (my industry, so maybe I care more than the average person) too juvenile and simplistic a medium for you to care about its extinction at the hands of CEOs endorsing AI? This might sound juvenile too, but I'm kinda devastated, because I genuinely thought you were cool. You're either with artists or against us imho, on an issue as large as this, when already the layoffs in the industry are insurmountable for many, despite ongoing attempts to unionize. That user called someone a fascist for pointing this out, too. I guess both of you feel that way about those of us involved in class action lawsuits against AI image generation software.
i can't speak for anyone else or the things they've said or think of anyone. that said:
1. you should not look up to people on the computer. i'm just a girl running a silly little blog.
2. i am an artist across multiple mediums. the 'no true scotsman' bit where 'artists' are people who agree with you and you can discount anyone disagrees with you as 'not an artist' and therefore fundamentally unsympathetic to artists will make it very difficult to actually engage in substantive discussion.
3. i've stated my positions on this many times but i'll do it one more: i support unionization and industrial action. i support working class artists extracting safeguards from their employers against their immiseration by the introduction of AI technology into the work flow (i just made a post about this funnily enough). i think it is Bad for studio execs or publishers or whoever to replace artists with LLMs. However,
4. this is not a unique feature of AI or a unique evil built into the technology. this is just the nature of any technological advance under capitalism, that it will be used to increase productivity, which will push people out of work and use the increased competition for jobs to leverage that precarity into lower wages and worse conditions. the solution to this is not to oppose all advances in technology forever--the solution is to change the economic system under which technologies are leveraged for profit instead of general wellbeing.
5. this all said anyone involved in a class action lawsuit over AI is an enemy of art and everything i value in the world, because these lawsuits are all founded in ridiculous copyright claims that, if legitimated in court, would be cataclysmic for all transformative art--a victory for any of these spurious boondoggles would set a precedent that the bar for '''infringement''' is met by a process that is orders of magnitude less derivative than collage, sampling, found art, cut-ups, and even simple homage and reference. whatever windmills they think they are going to defeat, these people are crusading for the biggest expansion of copyright regime since mickey mouse and anyone who cares at all about art and creativity flourishing should hope they fail.
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𝜗𝜚 'OH' I LOVE LOVE HER?
╰ 𝖺𝗅𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒, 𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗒'𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗂𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗅𝗈𝗇𝗀 𝗋𝗎𝗇.
𝒏o𝓉ℯs. enhypen realizing it's you 𖥔 ݁ rom-fluff, kinda poetic? LIB? fem!reader requested word count ` 1945
꒰˵ˊᯅˋ˵꒱ love how this turned out!! <3. unedited!
𝐋𝐄𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆
he doesn't know much about love, he's never really experienced it yet. he has fallen for conventional and unconventional things, things that compliment and things that complete, he's been through the good phases and stuck through bad ones, he held on to things he shouldn't and let go of things he should.
there are a lot of lessons he has learned along every relationship he has been in the lines of yet lee heeseung doesn't believe he's ever been in love until he has been with you.
it wasn't something he knew he felt, but it was surely something he realized in the spur of a moment, in a split second of epiphany. he knew what he felt for you was something deep when he realized that yes he wouldn't hesitate to die for you, but what he wants is to live for you. it's easy to be the first to go but to hold your strength through everything and survive for someone, that is definitely love is what heeseung believes.
"baby, baby calm down i'm okay," he reassures your crying and frantic figure as you scan his injuries, ones he got from trying to protect you from a fatal fall. perhaps it was the situation or perhaps it was realisation of it all.
when he jumped to saved you all he could think about was he'd give his life if it meant you lived, but in this moment he cannot bear to see you so devastated, to think he could've left you like this? no, he's decided he is never going to do it until he can't help it and even then he'd fight to stay with his love.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆
he has lived his life prioritizing his family over everything else. to him nothing can go above and beyond familial love. he doesn't really believe he can love anyone anything like he loves his family and that is a statement of disappointed in itself. if there's anything he wants to give his best for it's people who have stuck with him since day one.
bonds need to tested by time is the belief he holds dear until his world crashes into yours and time changes from something that defines to something that builds. his relationship with yours is not as long as people he's close to but however long you have spent together seems to strengthen and augment the bond.
his love for you settles into an understanding of his when finds you running through days and nights in the hospital caring for his family after a big blow. a choice to choose, not an obligation to carry out. a crack in his notions you give him a new definition of love.
"y/n? baby come on go and freshen up, i'll watch over mom," his hand rests on your head, soft caresses to wake you up after the long night you spent sitting beside his mother while he ran around for paperwork.
as you leave the room in a rush wanting to come back quickly and take his place so that he can get his rest, jay finds himself seeing you in a new light, telling his mother that he's found an angel. the angel she always told him about, the angel he loves.
𝐒𝐈𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐔𝐍
he has spent years jumping from person to person, reveled and basked in moments of happiness and run away amidst the weights of problems. there is a price to pay for everything and love is no exception but he has yet to accept the fact of reality, the thorns that come along with the scent and beauty of roses.
love gives and love takes, love heals and love hurts. it takes several trials and a meeting with you for jake to understand that.
to him it is a conscious decision, a hard hit and an opening of eyes when he realizes you're the one for him. he has never made it work until you, coming to the conclusion in the middle of the worst argument that you're worth all the trouble. and if wants to have you by his side, he needs to fix this and he needs to cherish you.
he can see himself with you for the rest of his life, one single person he is willing to fight for. for jake sim you are a sphere of acceptance, you redefine love and endurance for him.
"one day we're gonna have kids together and i want them to see that daddy really loves mommy, i'll change for the better i promise," jake's voice softens as he hits the big realization, getting down on his knees, tears falling free. your arms slip around him in a hug and jake swears he'll do all it takes to become the one for you, he'll do all it takes to make this worth it, he'll do all it takes to have you stay. because he's found the one he loves, the one he wants to be his best for.
𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐍
he has always felt a gaping hole in his chest, a feeling of homesickness even when he is home, a feeling of vanity even when he shines bright soaring through all the achievement of his dreams. to him there's something that's always missing.
no he has never thought of love but he has never despised it either. he doesn't dwell on the possibilities of it but the absence and lack of them. until you enter his life completing him like a perfect piece of puzzle, a missing piece of him.
he realizes his love for you in bits and moments of warmth, slowly step by step as you fill the void. from helping him through his hard times and cheering him on in his good ones, sunghoon finds his home in you, a walk so long but finally arriving at it's destiny, where it's always been meant to be.
perhaps he's always longed for love and never understood it. nevertheless, park sunghoon finds it in his moments of mundanity with you. you teach him the power of the presence of love.
"my little charmie, loved your pretty banner," sunghoon leaves a wet kiss on your lips, arms going around your waist as he comes rushing to you a second after winning the championship, cameras all panned on the champion of the season but all he can see is you. you feel like a warm hug on a rainy day, a blanket of comfort near the fireplace. all the anxiety he ever felt, the pressure to be on the top, you took it all and turned it into something beautiful and enjoyable.
𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐎𝐎
he has grown up surrounded and so bathed in love, he thinks he knows it all, he has seen it all. every version of love, and everything that exists in between. so confident he'd know it instantly, the one for him, the love of his life.
but love takes time and love find it's loopholes. someone that evokes no romantic feelings could become everything in just a turn of events. kim sunoo never believed or cared to understand that until he felt that something for you. that little upturn of sparkles and butterflies, that intense emotion kindling in his heart when he sees you in a new ambience. a single moment of revelation when he's staring at you talk about things that you love, things that he doesn't like but suddenly he doesn't mind hearing about it.
he knows he hasn't felt this way before for you, there's something different and that difference makes him rethink his entire relationship with you. you become so important to him in a split moment, love so familiar and calm yet unfamiliar and exciting.
"go on i'm listening," sunoo has his head on his hands, eyes shaped crescents, a gaze so loving anyone can see how he feels, so transparent.
the tiny flowers behind you would look so pretty on you, no- you look so much prettier than the flowers, your voice is so pretty, the way your lips move, the way your eyes light up, has sunoo always loved hearing about legos? no. has he always loved listening to you? he doesn't know but he could hear you talk forever.
𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐎𝐍
he is one who sees love in everything around. the little things and the big things. in the light and in the dark. in memories of the past and in possibilities of the future. there is not a specific instance where he realizes his feelings. to him you are the premonition of love. he knew it from the very moment he met you that you are the one he is going fall in love with. that inner instinct that instantly sparked up when you entered his life.
every day and every second it grows, it piles up, it escalates. the weight of life and the wings of love you make everything easier. one who has always given meeting one who gives back to him.
overwhelmed in an ocean of new eternal verities, a feeling so mad, blind and passionate he finds himself wanting to be bound to you by his every bone. if there's a forever then he wants to spend it with you taking walks by the river, watching the lantern festival with a smile on your faces, so sick in love it makes everyone else sick.
"i wish this wish comes true," jungwon whispers to himself as he watches you walk ahead of him, turning back time and again to tell him how far your lit lantern made with a pretty little smile on your face. he wants to see this everyday, every morning, every night till however long he can and if possible even in his afterlife and all the lives that come ahead.
to be the one to be chosen by you because he for one will always choose you in all forms of reality and at every chance,"baby wait up for me, let's go together!" hand in hand all along.
𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐑𝐈𝐊𝐈
he has always found himself struggling to express his emotions, words and actions alike. something so inherent in him, he can't seem to overcome it. the sheer desperation to get his feelings through to someone, he's never felt it. he hasn't ever felt the need to feel it. to connect so closely with another is not something he has ever been comfortable with or wanted to be comfortable with.
until you happened and riki's world went through a turmoil of sentiments, wrecking him from inside so intensely he could never go back to before. love is something he has never experienced and something he could never fathom.
it just never made sense to him, how one could feel so much solely for another. but in moments of his silence where you struggled to understand it all, he realized the importance, the willingness to learn to express his feelings.
your tears and your smiles he wanted to be the one to comfort and the one you showed your happiness to. the one you love and the one he loves.
"i've never said this before but you are so special to me, what i feel for you is something i've never felt for anyone else and i don't wanna lose you by not letting you know that. i'm wanna learn to show you that again and again,"
riki smiles through his tears letting himself be vulnerable before you, as you hold the little handmade gift he got. your own tears threatening to fall while you nod vigorously reaching forward to let him know it'll all be okay.
TAGLIST ( open. ) @kangseulgithegreat @s00buwu @luvyev @pockyyasii @nctislifue @ashtxrie @miniature-tragedy @jayujus @nanabbg @thoughtsmeander2tumblingblindly
#enhypen imagines#k-labels#YALL BETTER LOVE IT I EXPIRED ALL MY CREATIVITY ON THIS#enhypen headcanons#enhypen reactions#enhypen fluff#enhypen drabbles#enhypen scenarios#enhypen soft hours#enhypen soft thoughts#enhypen heeseung imagines#enhypen jake imagines#enhypen jay imagines#enhypen sunghoon imagines#enhypen sunoo imagines#enhypen jungwon imagines#enhypen niki imagines#enhypen x reader
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My Tears Ricochet - f1 grid x indycar!reader
+summary: after a devastating end of a six-year relationship, she decided a change was needed. a change that ultimately brings her more opportunities, and she even finds love in an unexpected place. +pairing: f1 grid x indycar!driver +warnings: cheating, curse words, pregnancy, betrayal, mentions sexism, mentions misogyny, etc. If I missed something, let me know. face claim: tony breidinger dedicated to @fangirl-dot-com. They helped me so much whenever I got stuck. I highly recommend them. Their fics are so good. I do not give my permission to have my work reposted. I do not give my permission to have my work translated. If I'm notified that you've stolen my work or claim it as your own, you'll be asked to take it down before I'll report you. End of discussion.
The way Wyatt became possessive over his phone when before he'd always let her use it was concerning, but she brushed it off thinking maybe it was just a one-time thing. Then she noticed whenever she stepped into the room, and he was on the phone, he'd leave or if they were in the room together and his phone rang, he'd get up and answer it in a different room. The thought of him cheating on her crossed her mind at one point, but he wouldn't do that, right?
Right? Wrong.
Stepping into the house after a long flight, all she wanted to do was take a nice hot shower to scrub off the airport griminess and cuddle with Wyatt on the couch, but walking through the house, she noticed articles of clothing strewn about. 'That's weird' she thought to herself. Her ears picked up moaning sounds coming from their shared bedroom. Hearing lewd sounds like that made her blood run cold. Wyatt was cheating on her, but with whom?
Opening the door to their bedroom, she was met with Wyatt having her barely eighteen-year-old sister, Elizabeth, bent over the side of the bed.
"What the hell is going on?!"
Wyatt pushed Elizabeth forward, letting her hit the mattress. "Y/n, babe, this isn't what it looks like."
"Really? Because to me it looks like you were just balls deep in my sister." her eyes darted to said sister who's twirling her hair in-between her fingers and kicking her feet back and forth all with a smug look on her face. "And you! You're my sister. How could you do this to me?"
"I've loved him for years and it wasn't fair that you had him all to yourself."
"So, you thought it was a good idea for you to sleep with him?! Do you hear yourself?"
Elizabeth got up from the bed and walked over to Wyatt, wrapping her arms around his waist. "It's not the first time we've slept together."
"What does she mean, Wyatt?"
"Go ahead, babe. Tell her, or I will," Wyatt looking down at his feet hesitating to tell her was everything she needed to know that whatever's been going on between the two of them has been going on for a while. "Since he won't say anything, we've been together for eight months."
"Eight months?!?! Un-fucking-believable."
"Is now a bad time to say I'm pregnant- wait, what are you doing?" Elizabeth asked, watching as y/n left the bedroom, muttering under her breath about how her own sister was a backstabbing, home wrecking whore.
"I'm picking yours and his clothes up off the floor and throwing them in the trash where they belong."
"You can't do that!"
"Seeing as this is my house, I can do what I want and I'm just cleaning up the mess you left behind as per usual."
"But-"
Y/n walked over to the front door, opening it and gestured for her to leave. "I don't care where you go, or who you go to, because you are no longer welcomed here."
With no other choice, Elizabeth dug hers and Wyatt's clothes out of the trash and got dressed. Once they were gone, she wasted no time in reaching for her rather expensive tequila and drank it straight from the bottle.
"Who needs boyfriends when you have a sister like Elizabeth."
liked by josefnewgarden, scuderiaferrari, charles_leclerc, and 1,239,512 others
yourinstagram italy photo dump.
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josefnewgarden where was my invite?
⤷ yourinstagram it got lost in the mail.
user1 I find it a little weird that she's in Maranello 🤔
⤷user2 everyone takes a vacation to Maranello, so it's not that weird.
⤷user1 maybe but wearing a Ferrari jacket and going to the Ferrari Museum and then taking a picture of the prancing horse? its sus to me.
user3 If you go to formula one, I swear to God I'll scream.
*liked by yourinstagram*
⤷user4 Y/N LIKED?!?
⤷user5 this pretty much confirms she's going to f1.
user6 that jacket is sooooo cute!
ScuderiaFerrari red looks good on you.
*liked by yourinstagram*
⤷user7 ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
user8 there's a reason why there hasn't been a woman in formula one in thirty-three years.
⤷user9 and its because formula one is for men and not women.
⤷user10 if she does to f1, she'll choke under the pressure and go back to indycar.
She'd be lying if she said listening to the Ferrari higher ups talk about what was expected of her once she signed the contract wasn't lowkey terrifying. Ferrari was the dream team. A team every driver wanted to be a part of because of its past successes and rich history. And who wouldn't want to join the likes of Fangio, Lauda, Prost and Schumacher in the Ferrari Hall of fame?
"You with us, y/n?" her lawyer set his hand on her shoulder, getting her attention.
"I'm sorry, but can you repeat that?"
"As we were saying, Ferrari goes deeper than just a brand of car. Many individuals have joined over the years, but many have also cracked under the pressure. Are you sure you can handle it?"
"Oh! Definitely."
"If you're so sure, then sign away," Fred slid the contract over the sleek oak table and handed her a pen, hurriedly signing her name on the dotted line. As she set the pen down, it hit her. She was, as of that moment, a formula one driver for Scuderia Ferrari.
She stood up, shaking everyone's hand, stopping at Fred. "Thank you for taking a chance on me. I won't let you down."
"I know you won't." The small French man smiled. "Now, would you like a tour?"
Nodding her head, an older Ferrari employee guided them to the door and started going from room to room, talking intensively about anything and everything Ferrari. It was one thing to see pictures of past drivers and read their achievements, but to lay eyes on the multiple rows of championship winning cars was another. It only made the excitement grow.
That same Ferrari employee saw Charles and immediately waved him over. "Charles! Mate, come meet your new teammate!"
When their eyes met, it was like everything slowed down. It felt as if no one else was in the room but them. Just then, a warm, fuzzy feeling washed over her, and a small flutter of butterflies tickled inside her body. Was this love at first sight? But she just met Charles. There's no way she could possibly fall in love with her new teammate Right?
The corners of the Monegasques' mouth curved into a grin. "I'm Charles."
"I'm Y/n."
His trainer and the Ferrari employee exchanged looks and knew something special had happened between the two drivers. No one looks at someone like that and does not end up together.
"As much as I'd love to stay and chat, I got to get going. We should get together sometime and get to know each other since we're going to be teammates."
"I'd love that!"
They swapped phones, putting each other's numbers in. As the tour continued, she looked over her shoulder and watched him walk away, completely ignoring the Ferrari employee. The season couldn't start fast enough.
liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc, josefnewgarden and 4,325,124 others.
scuderiaferrari pushing past expectations and shattering glass ceilings, y/n y/ln makes history by being the first woman since Giovanna Amati in 1992 to race in formula one. Everyone here at Ferrari can't wait to see what you achieve!
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yourinstagram racing for Ferrari has always been a dream of mine since I was a kid and now that's coming to fruition feels amazing. thank you for this opportunity.
⤷scuderiaferrari 🥰❤️
user1 time to stop watching formula one.
⤷user2 if you're going to stop watching formula one all because a woman joined the grid, then that's says a lot about you as a person.
charles_leclerc the season can't start fast enough!
*liked by yourinstagram*
user3 while I'm sad to see her leave IndyCar, I'm excited to see her race in formula one.
lewishamilton this is not only inspirational to me, but many women who want to get into motorsports, or even formula one, but don't because of the rampant sexism and misogyny. I know your career in formula one is going to bright!
⤷yourinstagram you have no idea how much this means to me!
user4 with charles and y/n Ferrari will be unstoppable.
*liked by scuderiaferrari*
user5 Ferrari dominance will bore people.
user6 Ferrari wdc and wcc confirmed!
part two will have ALL the drama.
tagging:
@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @patzammit @tinycyberhacker @keenmarvellover @mrspeacem1nusone @lendeluxe @alexxavicry @allenajade-ite @catswag22 @eugene-emt-roe @wcnorris @bibissparkles @cherry-piee @khaylin27 @evie-119
#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula one x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula one imagine#f1 x driver!reader#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula one x driver!reader
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Behold, a scenario where you become the unwilling sex slave of The Balladeer.
POV: You were with The Traveler in Inazuma trying to aid the resistance. You didn't have much to say for yourself except for a bow and an electro vision that had been damaged in a fight with local samurai and was now malfunctioning during use. But one thing you had was a fighting spirit. And hope that the vision hunt decree would be abolished soon.
However such a world would never belong to you. Fate would have a more sinister plan for you as it seemed.
And that fate began to unravel the day you went with The Traveler to find the delusion factory and ended up face to face with the most egotistical harbinger out of the 12 you heard of.
The Balladeer.
You always hated him the most. And he seemed to be almost pleased with this as whenever you were in close proximity to him, he would stare you down with a strange sadistic gleam in his indigo eyes and refuse to look away until you did first due to being extremely uncomfortable.
You hated him so much.
And you hated it even more when a strange violet gas began to fill the factory and caused Aether to pass out right next to you. Thus giving you no excuse but to face the man who frankly terrified and disgusted you.
You were Fontaine born and raised thankfully. So being able to hold your breath for long periods of time was nothing. And when you saw Miko appear on the scene and prepare to rescue you, you felt so relieved that this nightmare would be over soon.
Oh how wrong you were.
"a life for a life" was the promise that was made as the gnosis exchanged hands and Miko prepared to pick up Aether and disappear with him. But just as you stepped over to join her and finally be free from the piercing gaze of Scaramouche, his voice suddenly sounded more sly and sinister than before as he reminded the priestess that she had made an exchange for ONE life. Not multiple. And that he was being "cheated" by her trying to include you in the deal without prior say.
You couldn't believe your ears. No one could. Paimon screeched that he was being unfair and begged Miko to just leave already, Miko paused in her haste to go and ultimately seemed to be thinking about something before she turned to you and gave you that same particular tone and smile.
"Oh don't make that face little one. He's right you know? Vile as the claim may be. I do feel bad for what I'm about to do, but sometimes sacrifices have to be made and your friend here is very important to our plans right now. I'll send someone to retrieve you when I can. In the meantime do try not to lose your mind. It'd be a great shame if by the time help arrived, you were nothing but a mindless and broken hostage unfit to re-enter society."
What the HELL was she saying.
"Miko...Miko wait...MIKO!" You ended up screaming as she vanished in a burst of violet particles.
You had messed up then.
In your haste to try and reach the fox lady and yell for her to please reconsider, you had opened your mouth.
All at once your fear and devastation had become rage at being left behind like YOUR life was less than and unworthy of fighting for.
You tried to calm your emotions but it was no use. You collapsed to the ground in a heap of defeat and helplessness. The last thing you saw was the silhouette of that monster slowly walking over to your unconscious body on the ground.
You felt strong yet delicate hands reach under your arms and pull you up before everything went white.
When you came to once again you were sore all over. You didn't know what happened. All you could feel in your head was an endless stinging pain that never seemed to get any better. And that was BESIDES the throbbing pain in your more sensitive areas. Particularly your nipples and clit.
You had barely opened your eyes when you realized you were completely undressed and bound to what appeared to be an operating table somewhere unfamiliar to you. Your heart raced as you tried to sit up but your wrists and ankles were chained to small metal hooks protruding from the surface of the place where you lay.
You finally screamed and began to cry for someone to help you. Anyone.
But no one came.
It felt like hours before you finally heard the voice of the LAST person you wanted to see right now in your state.
"you're finally awake. And here I thought you died before we even got fully acquainted." Scaramouche leered from somewhere behind me.
What was going on? Why was he here? WHY WAS HE SO CALM ABOUT ME BEING NAKED?
You said nothing. Just shivering as you fought the urge to vomit suddenly.
Oh archons please don't let happen what you think is about to happen...
You feel a gloved hand reach out and gently caress your cheek as the other softly ran its way through your long dark hair.
The room was dim and you couldn't see much but you could definitely feel and you honestly wished that you couldn't as you hear a small amused hum from your tormentor, his hand slowly moving down to grab hold of one of your breasts. He squeezed and seemed to be almost analyzing something you couldn't see. Yet for some reason as he cradled your head almost lovingly and fondled your medium sized assets, you feel your disgust practically drain away in an instant.
You feel yourself relax a little. The reaction was most certainly your own but it still felt very...wrong. like your brain was acting without conscience effort.
It felt like your head was tingling.
The sensation quickly moved from your head to your torso. Feeling almost like a stabbing pain until your body began to grow aroused from it. Your pussy getting wetter as you felt your nipples harden in his hands.
You hear a chuckle as you gasp and try to instinctively fight, only to feel your entire body go limp every time.
Scaramouche then chose to roughly pinch and tug on your sore nipples until you pitifully pleaded with him to stop. He didn't. Instead he pulled harder until you felt something odd embedded in your flesh.
Metal. Something like a small rod buried in your tender skin.
It felt like your heart stopped as you realized that someone had actually pierced both of your nipples while you had been out cold and likely had done the same to your poor clit. But why?
Well you soon found out.
Suddenly you feel a painful current of electro leave Scaramouche's fingertips and shock you hard. The sensation reminded you of a bite. Quick yet painful.
You knew you should have been scared. You wanted to in that moment, but it felt like the emotion was almost instantly cut short as the same pleasant tingling infiltrated your skull and quickly traveled down your back. Forcing your entire body to relax again.
"How shameful. Letting your captor turn you on like this." The harbinger jeered as you felt him release you and instead make his way over to your bound feet where he quickly went to poke and tease your now swollen and excited nub that still stung from being nonconsensually modified earlier.
"Disgusting bug. But I suppose you can't help it. Humans are after all, stupid and fragile creatures, driven by their useless little feelings and desires."
You try to keep silent as he verbally degrades you yet when you feel his cool tongue against your sore clitty, you can't help yourself and finally moan out loud.
Tears began to well up in your big brown eyes as this small sound of delight from your lips seemed to encourage him to continue.
He held your knees apart as he focused solely on overstimulating your pleasure spot and as much as you didn't want to, you could feel yourself getting closer to climaxing.
"Please! Please don't! I can't!" You whine as you feel him moan against your sex and send even more unwanted vibrations throughout your core.
He doesn't stop until you end up creaming on his face. Even then he continues to suck and lick your clit until you're practically begging him for mercy and on the verge of cumming for a third time in a row.
Every time the same tingling would take away all of your negative emotions and make you actively CRAVE Scaramouche's touch.
You hated that you loved this so much.
And if anything, the more Scaramouche made you cum, the more you could almost feel your brain associating him with just that. Warping your old perception of him slowly but surely.
Until in your mind, he became the source of the only pleasant feelings that kept you sane amidst the darkness.
He did eventually fuck you, but it wasn't for a long time. And it was because YOU begged him to.
You didn't know what had come over you. All you knew was that you needed him one night like never before.
You found yourself kneeling at his feet and kissing his feet begging to be used even though a small dying voice in the back of your mind found it odd.
After what must've been days in the dim room you originally woke up in, you were blindfolded and taken elsewhere.
And this one singular lavish bedroom that stayed locked from the outside at all times would be your new home.
At least that's what your master had told you.
You weren't sure when you started calling him that. In fact a lot of your memories seemed to be gone or hazy.
But you didn't care.
You just wanted n-no you NEEDED your master now. You needed his cruelty and his kindness. You wanted nothing else.
Every day he would visit you in your playroom, you sat waiting by the door every time you heard the knob, crouched and ready to crawl to him and greet him eagerly after a long day like the bitch you now were. Complete with a cute collar and tail too! Not to mention the ears...
You'd happily wait for Scaramouche to free his cock from the confines of his shorts and smirk as he ordered you to service him like a good girl and swallow his seed. You never once disobeyed him. Not that you wanted to.
You knew that insubordination would result in you being tied up and having electricity ran through your piercings repeatedly until you peed yourself in humiliation and cried. Only then would your master release you. Once you began to plead for forgiveness and were reduced to nothing but a wailing and pitiful little creature.
No.
You always did what you were told because the rewards were so much better than you ever imagined.
If you succeeded in your efforts and made him finish quickly, you were fucked raw and hard by him until your belly began to swell from the constant flow of hot cum that was fucked into your womb as a prize for your obedience.
And on certain days, you were even given kisses and massages. Especially if he was in a good mood and hadn't rewarded you in a long time.
Your new life was simple. You were the harbinger's plaything. You remained locked away and cherished sensually as time seemed to go on and on without change.
In fact, the day someone broke into your bedroom and immediately scooped you up in a blanket and declared in a hushed tone that they were freeing you, nothing happy came from hearing these words for you.
No no no.
You WANTED your master!
You didn't want to be out there!
But it was no use. The person had a glider and had flown away with you during the night before anyone could take notice.
And ever since then your entire life had been miserable.
He called himself Aether.
He said he was your friend. But you couldn't remember anything he was talking about no matter how hard you tried. Hasn't master always been your only company?
He and others spoke about scary things like microchips in someone's brain and memories being distorted as a form of control.
You wanted to go home so badly. It was scary out here.
Your only solace was the fact that your master hadn't completely left you yet. You dreamt of him kissing you again. You could practically see him around you like a phantom sometimes, telling you that you were still his good girl.
And one day as you felt a small kick in your belly, you swore you could hear him laughing from somewhere far away.
You needed to be with him again.
#genshin impact#wanderer#wanderer x female reader#scaramouche x female reader#scaramouche#scaramouche smut#wanderer smut#genshin impact smut#female reader#dark smut#body modification
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just a little bit of hope - peeta mellark x fem!reader
⤷ summary: with katniss and gale both gone, peeta steps in as an unlikely hunting partner for y/n. ⤷ wc: 2.6k ⤷ requested? yes. see request here. ⤷ follow @lovebirdupdates and turn on notifs to be on my 'taglist'!
⤷ a/n: two things - one, peeta has dimples here, it's just how i imagine him, so please bear with me; two, pretend gale's father is alive please, i didn't think our girl would be able to support two families, no matter how strong she is.
___
The day is horridly warm, exacerbated by a heavy humidity. As you wake, hot air suffocates your surroundings, and the sun glares through the window, hung on a span of blue sky. Pushing yourself up on your elbows, your bare feet find the ground, then immediately retract. The floor is burning hot, baked by the sun. You grit your teeth and force your feet back onto the wood, ignoring the searing heat. You have things to do.
You make a bowl of porridge, watery, but edible. You drink half, and leave the rest for your mother. Your father is off to the mines already, his boots absent. You get dressed, pulling on the prettiest dress you own. You're ready. Or, as ready as one can be.
Today, there will be no hunting with Katniss and Gale, no trading at the Hob. Today, there is only the reaping.
___
You spot Katniss at the edge of the square, gripping her sister's hand. Your friend looks nothing like she normally does. Gone are the boots and hunting jacket, replaced by a simple blouse tucked into a modest skirt. You nod grimly at her; neither of you feels like smiling.
Gale is over on the other side of the square, across from the stage they've set up. Your eyes meet, and he mouths "good luck".
After a few minutes of the routine announcements, Haymitch is introduced, then Effie. By now, the crowd has settled into an air of grimness, despite the clear blue sky overhead.
You don't hear Effie's jokes, and nobody laughs. She finally stops smiling, looking extremely awkward – you almost feel bad for her. Almost.
Then, she sticks her hand in the ball of names, each carrying a life, and pulls one out. Her smile is back on her face when she announces, "Without further ado, our female tribute is: Katniss Everdeen!"
You freeze, repeating her words in your head as if hoping they'd sound different. Your oldest friend – determined, brave Katniss, given a death sentence.
But Effie doesn't wait. Her next words are just as devastating. "And for our male tribute: Gale Hawthorne! Come on up now, dear, don't be shy."
Peacekeepers erupt through the crowd, grabbing your two best friends in the entire world by the shoulders, and forcing them up to the stage. Katniss whips her head around, looking at you with pleading eyes. You know what she's asking for.
"I'll take care of her, Katniss. I won't let her die. And you can't let yourself die, okay? Promise me. Katniss! Promise me!"
Your last words are hysterical, but ironically, Katniss is not. Having heard your commitment to Prim, she is satisfied. She yanks her arms free of the Peacekeepers and walks by herself, her head held high and her face serene.
You grab Prim's hand. Her whole body is shaking, wracked with sobs. You don't hear Effie's last words, but you know what they are.
"May the odds be ever in your favor."
___
It's been two weeks since the reaping which stole your best friends. It's shocking how quickly you fell back into routine, as if nothing has even changed. The only indicator of their absence is an added part of your day: splitting your earnings between your family and Prim's.
There are now double the mouths to feed, so you spend double the hours in the forest hunting. Villagers are sympathetic – that may be the only reason you're all still alive. They love Prim, and they trust you. Everything you hunt manages to be traded.
But still, you're cracking. It's just too much, and you don't know if it'll ever get better. You have no idea what Katniss and Gale are going through right now, and you don't let yourself think of them. It would break your heart.
___
Peeta Mellark has always been observant. His teachers told his parents this, back when he was a child. It's this trait that makes him notice you. The girl with the weight of the world on her shoulders, killing herself day after day to provide for not one, but two whole families.
He doesn't understand how no one else sees it. But maybe they do – it's just that no one in District 12 is really in a position to do anything about it. Still, the fact remains that you're close to breaking. You can't keep doing this alone.
Peeta Mellark has never been brave. His mother yells at him, beats him, and he takes it. He has never talked back to teachers, or dared disobey the Peacekeepers. So when he offers to hunt with you, he surprises even himself.
"What?"
"I'm Peeta Mellark. We were in the same class, and my parents run the bakery. I was wondering if I'd be able to hunt with you?"
So you weren't hallucinating. The baker's son – a boy you didn't think could kill a fly – had just asked to hunt with you. Your shock translates into a small laugh, not that anything about the situation is funny, really. Hurt flashes in Peeta's eyes, and you quickly backtrack.
"I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm Y/N L/N, I know who you are. I just didn't think you'd be the hunting type," you explain. Because you're gentle, and kind, and I've never seen you hurt anyone, with your words or physically. But you don't add that last part.
"I've only ever hunted with Katniss and Gale, you must know them, they were reaped this year." Your voice cracks a bit with those last words, and Peeta acknowledges the fact with a nod. His hand twitches; he wants to pat you on the back, or grip your shoulder, anything to stop the melancholy leaking into your eyes, but he doesn't.
"But you're welcome to join me," you end with a smile that doesn't quite reach your eyes.
___
The new partnership starts early the following day. You meet a groggy Peeta near his home, and the two of you begin the walk to the Meadow.
You hear no electrical hum from the fencing, which means it's safe to touch, and you guide Peeta across the boundary which separates the Seam from the forest. This is all illegal, you know, but you're too used to it to even notice. Peeta, on the other hand, feels an exhilarating sense of rebellion as he crosses the barbed wire, following your figure into the woods.
"You've never hunted before, have you?" you probe, although it's more of a confirmation than an actual question.
Peeta nods. "But I'm a quick learner. And I won't get in your way, I promise."
You smile, a genuine one this time. "We'll see about that, Mellark."
Over the next hour, you go over all the traps you had set from the day before, collecting from Katniss and Gale's traps as well. True to his word, Peeta picks it up quickly, and even has a great eye for camouflaging the traps. This becomes his task, using grass and twigs and flowers as his medium, painting a deceptive scene which looks safe and welcoming to the many squirrels and rabbits in these parts.
You also start him on foraging. Only one type of berry is poisonous in the Meadow, and it's easy to identify. You make sure he's clear on which to avoid, and leave him to it, while you head to the hollowed out tree where you've hidden your knives. The familiar sight of Katniss' bow and arrows within the trunk brings a pang in your heart. You leave them nestled within and retrieve only your daggers. You were never a good archer.
Another hour passes, and you return to Peeta with a deer. You're happier than you have been in weeks – this will be enough for almost a week's worth of food. Peeta is not empty-handed either, he has two buckets of progress, one filled with strawberries, the other with raspberries. He gives you a soft smile – he has dimples, you think. He then immediately turns a faint shade of green, having noticed the dead deer.
You're seized with the desire to laugh, "Why'd you offer to hunt with me if you get queasy from the sight of game?"
He looks at you with an indignant pout, and you can't stop the giggle that tumbles out, then the full on laughter.
"I'm not like this with all game, just, you know, the larger animals. I can look at dead squirrels just fine – stop laughing!"
Making your way back, within the District, you stop just outside of the fence to split your gatherings.
"Take the squirrels and rabbits, and the bucket of raspberries. I'll keep the deer and trade the strawberries with the mayor," you offer.
"No, you take it all," he crosses the barrier carrying the buckets, and you follow after him, shaking your head.
"I can't, Peeta. That wouldn't be right. This is a fair split."
"I never said I wanted to keep what we hunt. Only that I wanted to hunt with you, Y/N. Take it. I know you need it more than I do. I'll see you next weekend?"
And with that, he pops a strawberry in his mouth, smiling at the sweetness, and walks away.
You're left with your mouth open, unable to process what had just happened.
___
The next morning, you show up at the bakery. His bakery. You earned a few dollars from selling your strawberries to the mayor, and you figure that if Peeta won't take anything, you should buy from him instead.
A few dollars is enough for two loaves of good bread, and so you head to the bread aisle. But your gaze catches on the beautiful cakes on display, decorated with multi-colored icing and swirling script written in melted chocolate.
"I did those," comes a voice from behind you.
Whipping your head around, you see Peeta himself, looking at the cakes with fondness and a bit of pride.
"You did what?"
"The cakes. I decorated them. My mom bakes, but I decorate. I like doing it – it's like painting, just on a different canvas."
"They're really lovely. You have a talent for it," you confirm, "I bet that's why you were so good at hiding traps yesterday. You can see nature's patterns."
He gives you a soft smile in return, and you can see the dimples again. They're adorable, you think. I want to see them every day.
He gives a small cough, looking at you questioningly.
You startle, and blush a deep crimson. "Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I'm here to buy bread. Two loaves," you say as you lower your head to stare down at the ground, refusing to meet his eyes.
It's only when you hear a chuckle that you lift your head back up. Peeta's eyes are sparkling, and his dimples are clear as ever.
"I'll give you three."
___
Two months after the reaping, your partnership with Peeta is still going strong. Every Saturday, the two of you head to the woods, and spend half the day fishing, gathering, and hunting. Originally silent company has evolved into true friendship, with witty banter, fleeting touches, and shared smiles.
You have come to know Peeta Mellark. He isn't just the baker's son, the one who decorates cakes and hates seeing dead animals. He's the boy who saved you, when no one even knew that you needed saving.
Day after day, he has shown up, offering kindness, companionship, and warmth, without expecting anything in return. You care about him more than you thought you could ever care about someone who wasn't family. You care about his messy blond hair, and you care about his broad shoulders. You care about his blue eyes which sparkle when he tells a joke, and his beautiful heart which leads him to give the occasional customer an extra free loaf. Most of all, you care about his dimples, which come out when he smiles at you. You care so much about him, that it scares you.
And Peeta cares about you. He cares about your hands, calloused but nimble, lethal when holding onto your twin daggers. He cares about your face, how it glows when you laugh at his jokes in the woods, but dims a bit when you're back in the district. He cares about your hair, always tied in a ponytail when in the Meadow, but left to flow freely down your shoulders when hunting's over. Most of all, he cares about your smile, which comes out when Prim thanks you week after week for your help, and forces you to take bottles of goat milk and pet Buttercup. He cares so much about you, that it scares him.
___
This hunting day, Peeta comes with news from the Capitol. A few weeks back, he started giving you updates on the Games, after you told him that you couldn't stomach the thought of watching your friends fight to the death.
"Y/N! Good news!" he greets, exiting the bakery. As the two of you begin your walk, he adds, "I'll tell you when we get to the Meadow."
"You're insufferable, Mellark. You can't just hook me like that, and not tell me what it is."
Peeta doesn't answer, so you start walking twice as fast, ushering him toward the edge of the Seam so you could figure out what exactly he wanted to tell you.
Once in the grassy plains of the Meadow, between the forest and the fence, you turn back to the boy, the impatience evident in your face.
"Tell me, Peeta, or I swear I'll –"
"Alright, alright," he laughs, "but it's not really good news, per se. It's just a little bit of hope."
You nod, urging him to continue.
"It's about the Games. About Katniss and Gale."
The last traces of your smile fade. Concern is etched onto your face, and your eyebrows scrunch up, your jaw tightens.
Noticing this, Peeta pulls you in by the waist, so that your head lands on his shoulder. "It's good news, Y/N. Don't look so defeated. They're both still alive, and they're fighting."
"But at least one of them won't be coming back," you whisper into his neck, so quietly you wonder if he even heard. But Peeta always hears you.
"Y/N. That's the news. They could both come back. Caesar Flickerman has just announced that they will be changing the rules this year – allowing two victors of the Games, provided they're tributes from the same district!"
You look up at him in awe. A change to the Games. Katniss and Gale, not one or the other. Both could win. Both could come back.
You choke down a sob, staring at Peeta's brilliant smile and those mesmerizing dimples. And before you can process what you're doing, you wrap your arms around his neck and press your lips to his in a bout of bravery.
Peeta's frozen for a second, before he begins to reciprocate the kiss in earnest. He pulls you in, one hand holding your neck and the other wrapped around your torso, pressing himself impossibly closer. He tastes like icing and strawberries, and you can smell the comforting scent of warm bread.
The kiss ends far too quickly for your liking, and you're suddenly impossibly shy, all bravado gone. You lower your eyes so you won't have to meet his eyes, but realize that you're practically sitting on his lap, having moved there at some point during the kiss. This observation brings a flaming blush onto your cheeks, and you scramble to move away, but you're held in place by Peeta's arms, forming an iron-tight cage around your figure.
He brings a hand to your chin, lifting it up, and kisses you again, more gently this time.
"Don't go all shy on me now, Y/L/N," he teases, and holds the back of his hand against your forehead, as if feeling for a fever. "You're burning up, darling."
"You know damn well that's not a fever–", you start, but you're cut off by his laughter, and once again distracted by those dimples of his.
Maybe Peeta was right. Maybe there is just a little bit of hope left for you.
___
interested in other works of mine? see my masterlist!
#peeta mellark#peeta mellark imagine#peeta mellark imagines#peeta mellark fic#peeta mellark fics#peeta mellark oneshot#peeta mellark oneshots#peeta mellark reader insert#peeta mellark fluff#peeta mellark smut#peeta mellark x reader#peeta mellark x fem!reader#peeta x reader#peeta mellark x you#peeta mellark x female reader#peeta mellark x y/n#fic#writing#the hunger games#hunger games
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A Night Forgotten
Part Three
It’s getting more intense 😈
On top of her earlier worries, now Emoni had an even bigger dilemma to contend with: her boss/secret crush was fully awake...and back to his usual mocking self.
Joy.
What was she going to do now? Her options seemed limited to throwing on her clothes lickety-split and pulling a runner or grabbing the sheet, wrapping it around herself, and demanding he—
The toilet flushed, the tap ran for a moment, and then Erik was standing in the open doorway, drying his hands on a towel. With a quick up and down glance, he took her in from head to toe, and a slow, devastating smile crawled up his cheek. "Well, well. It seems I finally got something right between us, my precious Emoni. It's about fucking time."
Emoni dashed across the room and tore the bedding from the mattress, wrapping the soft, cool satin around her naked body.
“A-ha! So, you don't remember what you did to me last night!" she stated, somewhat miffed by the thought.
Surely it hadn't been that bad a lay...had it?
She tossed him a baleful eye.
“Months of trying to get me on a date, months of both our friends hammering away at me to give you a chance, months of putting up with that humiliating interdepartmental betting pool regarding you and my panties...and you can't even remember fucking me, can you?" She made a pftttt sound and crossed her arms in righteous indignation. "Wow, Erik!"
He laughed. "What a little hypocrite you are, Princess, since it appears you're in the same boat I am...figuratively and literally speaking," he countered, crossing his bulging arms and leaning against the bathroom doorpost. "You can't recall a damn thing about last night, either, can you? Can you?"
Her whole body flushed with sexual awareness and her nipples went instantly hard as Erik challenged her.
How was it that this same defiant behaviour during their formative school days had made her itch to cut his balls off and feed it to him back then, but a dozen years later, now it only made her want to lick him all over instead?
It had to have something to do with the long, attractive package currently swinging between his legs, because as he moved, lounging so sexily in the bathroom doorway, she suddenly found herself staring at it with an eager and lusty appreciation. Gahdamn! it was beautiful! And long…and thick…and—Whatever.
She blinked and forcibly turned away, her cheeks burning. "Will you please put some clothes on so we can talk?" she requested. "You're...distracting."
The Prince actually chuckled at that. "Am I really? Well, then I'll have to politely decline, baby girl. I'm enjoying redirecting your attention towards other more profitable thoughts."
She clucked her tongue in annoyance. "You're arrogance is through the roof about all of this."
"This isn't conceit, Emoni. This is contentment."
"It certainly sounds to me as if your ego is doing all the talking today."
"Well, it's not."
She turned back and cast a cynical expression in his direction. "Then, you’re telling me you’re not happy to swagger and strut around because you finally had sex with me after all these years of trying every line in your playbook to stick your dick in me?!”
He stared hard at her. "No, I'm not. I am, however, feeling a sudden urge to spank that ass. Care to step up and volunteer?" He actually growled then. "And for your information, baby girl, I don’t need a playbook, it comes natural. Who's the arrogant one again?"
“How am I the arrogant one!?” She shouted defensively.
“Well,” Erik started counting off on his fingers, “You find every moment to announce how I’ve been chasing after you all this time. You do it as if you’ve been playing this game of making me wait—
She huffed, he sniffed.
"So, we’re gonna stand here and act like you haven’t been wanting a nigga for a while now? Come on, ma. I can see right through you. It sucks you gotta play games when I could have shown you some things.”
He sounded a bit sulky at that.
Emoni glanced at him sideways. Erik truly looked upset by her accusations, which told her more than his words ever could. Perhaps whatever had happened between them the night before hadn't been pre-planned by him, and he hadn't been responsible for her memory gaps, after all.
“Okay…so…nothing?” She questioned.
“Nothing—well…I can remember us dancing. I remember how I dragged you to the dance floor and we Had a ball,” Erik smirked at the fuzzy memory, “You were….all over me. It was definitely the drinks because you would never do no shit like that sober, but…your ex was PISSED. We shared a drink…”
Erik blinked rapidly a few times then his thick, unruly brows snapped together. He drew a blank.
“That’s…wow—that’s exactly what I remember last as well…what the fuck?”
“Weird, right?” Erik said.
Which left Emoni wondering how in hell it was she could ever have forgotten making love to him, because that had been an event she'd ached for and dreamed of for years. That she couldn't remember anything significant at all in the aftermath was not just a maddening mystery, but also terribly disappointing to her as well. With his own memory of the night apparently lost, too, now she'd never be able to know how it had been between them. Had they connected body-to-body, soul-to-soul as she'd always fantasized, or had it been merely about sating sexual hungers and agreeing to move on? That knowledge was lost forever, it seemed, and that made her heavyhearted.
Clearing her throat, she figured she might as well attempt some civility, since he didn't appear to be at fault, if she was properly reading the signs.
“Right. So...what now?"
He shrugged. "We go back to bed."
She tightened the sheets around her with a twist of her hand, unsure if that idea wasn't the worst one in the history of co-worker one-offs and deserved an argument or if she should just give into the temptation and make a whole new set of epic mistakes today with Erik—this time, memorable ones. Decisions, decisions...
"And why would we do that?" she asked, trying to buy herself some time to come up with a third alternative.
Erik frowned at that. "To sleep. Maybe to fuck again later, once we're both more rested... Why are you so skittish all of the sudden?”
Because you're gloriously naked and suck-able, she thought, and I really want to run my mouth all over you this instant.
"Because I'm understandably nervous right now," she said instead, feeling her palms grow slick with a feverish need to touch him.
As if he'd discarded her words in favour of listening in on her more honest thoughts and impulses instead, he rewarded her with a slow, wicked smile. "Is that so?" he asked, his voice thick with lusty insinuation.
He shifted then, and it took all of Emoni’s willpower to keep her eyes from drifting downwards to seek out the slight movement between his legs again. No way was she getting caught in that mesmerizing action twice.
“Yes, I just said," she reiterated, fanning herself with a hand and wondering if it were possible to spontaneously combust.
Noting her distress, Erik’s teasing waned. "Why?
A third alternative suddenly presented itself: rationally discussing the matter to death. That's what Emoni did best, after all. "Because regardless of the fact that we've each experienced a disturbing loss of memories of the last twelve or so hours, we're both cognizant that some level of physical intimacy passed between us last night," she pointed out, switching into 'professional mode'. "Our relationship, therefore, has evolved and requires us to come to some form of an agreement and an arrangement as to its future."
"Agreement? Arrangement?" He almost sounded offended, “You're starting to sound like a wife looking for a pre-nup, Moni." He jerked his chin towards her bellybutton, and the piercing that lay just beneath the sheets that covered it. "Was that diamond chandelier in your navel not enough for you? Or do you need a bigger declaration of my intentions? I suppose I can get you a ring for your finger to match, if you want.”
She tsked at him for joking at a time like this. "I'm talking about our working relationship, you asshole! What we did here last night...this is going to alter that dynamic, like it or not."
He raised an eyebrow at that. "Why does it have to, though?”
Unbelievable! Could he not see that everything had changed?
Pushing off from the wall, he approached her, "It was about time it did, too! All this time trying to get your attention the old-fashioned way was getting me nowhere with you. Derek and Natalie were right—you needed me to act, not attempt to manipulate you into making the first move,” Reaching out, he tucked a stray curl behind her ear. "I needed to change, my Emoni, or we were never getting here."
She rubbed at her achy temple. "Do you realise you always refer to me so possessively? Why do you do that? We're not even officially dating, but you talk about me as if I'm your significant other.” She argued.
The idea irritated her, because in truth, she'd wanted him to think of her in such a manner—had for a long time now—but Erik had always been impossible to pin down. Like a male butterfly, he'd always liked his freedom...and his women. Not that she'd been totally celibate over the years, but she couldn't boast near the number of partners he'd put to bed. And all along, even when he was with those other women, he'd shamelessly flirted with her, tossing out provocative innuendo or joking propositions that always ended in her scolding or itching to slap him, and invariably nursing a sore heart. It bothered her now that he would continue to play this game with her, especially as they'd obviously crossed a line last night.
"Where's my damn phone?" she asked, too tired to attempt looking for it.
Erik tore his eyes away from her and he scanned the room until he found her hand bag tossed on the floor beneath a lounge chair in his room. He took long strides to grab her bag and then he crossed over to her. He handed it to her and watched her open it, a relieved sigh escaping her mouth as she pulled it out. She checked the time and it was very late in the afternoon. No one had called her or texted. She went to her photos and there were over fifty pictures she’d taken.
She frowned at that. This could help.
"You're welcome," he said, looking at her.
"Oh, uh, thanks," she stammered after the fact, staring at her photo gallery, “But, um...I have a bunch of photos of us…do you?" She asked, "Is that karaoke?! Wait—a tattoo parlor?!!! Little White Chapel?!!! What the fuck?!"
Erik was silent for a long while in the face of that revelation, so she glanced up at him to find out why.
He was staring...no, glaring at her chest. The sheet had fallen and her titties were exposed. Deep brown areolas and thick, pointed nipples against tawny skin.
"Take that sheet off, Emoni," he demanded with a primal look in his eye, "Do it right now."
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Hi there!ever since I saw you when I first installed tumblr it just keeps getting better. I was wondering if you can write something about a hero being the sucess of a lab and the villain being a failure(Bonus if the lab is actually evil) Don't feel pressured to do this though😗
"Do you know why I'm considered the success, instead of the failure like you?" the hero asked.
The villain sneered at them. They yanked and thrashed and struggled against the shimmering containment that wrapped around them, warping like a net from the hero's outstretched fingers, forcing them down against the cold concrete.
"Because you're a good, obedient little hero?"
The hero couldn't keep the damn trap up forever!
"Yes."
The simple response, the tone, startled the villain enough that they went temporarily still. Maybe that was the ploy. They stared at the hero through the hazy sheen of their powers, mockery draining from their face, panting for breath.
The hero had many things that the villain didn't: a body that wasn't screwed up, powers that weren't prone to out-of-control devastation, a generally sweet and more palatable disposition when it came to public relations.
And, of course, they did what they were told. The villain had never properly thought about that.
"It was their most important addition, after you...you know," the hero said, studying them. "The ability to control their experiments. To make sure that nothing like you would happen again."
A bad taste slowly flooded the villain's mouth. They shook their head.
The hero stepped forward, crouching down in front of the villain, on the other side of the containment wall. Up close, the villain got a good look at the vein snaking up the hero's wrist. The blood was just slightly the wrong colour; it made them look gorgeously healthy, radiant, compared to the sickly pallor the villain couldn't quite shake.
"If I stop taking the serum for my powers, I die," the hero said, keeping their voice light. "Quite horribly. But while the serum is in my system, I'm not in control. Not really. Everything I do is monitored. If I stray too far out..." The hero grimaced.
"Why are you telling me this?" the villain whispered.
"Because I can't do anything about it. I can't do anything about them. I signed up to do something good, to make the world better, and I..." The hero squeezed their eyes shut. "Well. I'm going to try and drag you back to them, aren't I? I'm going to hand you over to the people who hurt you, and then I'm going to make a speech telling everyone what a terrible, awful monster you are as if they don't deserve everything you give them. I'll smile while I'm doing it too."
The villain swallowed. They strained to press a hand up against the wall, but it only forced them back down against the ground harder. The villain's breath knocked out of them.
The hero winced. "Sorry."
"Isn't it better to be dead?"
"You didn't think so when you ran."
No. Maybe that had been an unfair question to ask. Still, the fury and the helplessness of it seared through the villain because ShieldCorp - they were going to get away with it. All of the others were dead! Even if they managed to expose what was really happening, ShieldCorp had the hero.
"I wanted to do something good too," the villain said, hollow. "It's not your fault they took advantage of that."
The hero shrugged. Their hand stayed perfectly steady.
"Are they listening to us now?"
"Probably."
"They'll be angry with you."
"Maybe. Maybe not. Me telling you this doesn't change anything, does it?"
"I thought you were like them. I hated you. It changes that."
The hero smiled, or something like it. It was too fragile, too wobbly, too shattered a thing compared to the beautiful thing they tossed out to the masses at every public appearance.
"I want to destroy them," the hero said. "But, when I let this force field drop so I can take you in properly, I'm going to need your help to do that. How are your powers feeling today?"
"Like I'm going to burn down the world."
The hero nodded, just once, and rose again. Silhouetted against the skyline, they looked unstoppable.
"Excellent," the hero said. "On the count of three, start with me."
The villain was ready when the containment dropped.
ShieldCorp was not.
#heroes and villains#villains and heroes#lab experiment#writing#ficlet#short story#fic#writeblr#writing snippet#story snippet#villains#heroes
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bridgerton sister ran away just before the beginning of her season and discovered by Colin in St Petersburg under a fake identity and bought back home
The Familiar Barmaid
x bridgerton!sister
Pronouns- She/her
Warning- Mother issues
Word Count- 933
Summary- The reader wants to be an author, but unfortunately, she has a season to get back to.
Y/n Bridgerton had never dreamed of being married like her other sisters (Eloise excluded). Y/n loved reading, she imagined her own stories and stashed her written stories under her bed. She craved to be an author like the ones who made the books she admired. Her mother however had other plans for her since day one; come out, become the diamond of the season, and be courted by a handsome gentleman I loved who hopefully had an amazing title. I never craved that life I much preferred to live in the fantasy worlds I created in my head. This leads us to my escape from the Bridgerton household the night before my season.
I had packed the most important things to me; my writings, my favorite books, and the leftover money I had been saving from my gown fittings. I quietly took my horse out of the stable at night and rode the horse to a place no one would know Y/n Bridgerton.
I rode my horse for as far as she could go taking breaks in dingy inns that my Mother wouldn't dare to step foot in. By the time I was in St Petersburg, I was already short on funds. It was a better place to settle than most it had gorgeous views and so many new things to write about. As luck would have it the bar in town was looking for a barmaid. Unfortunately, the bar owner could tell very easily that I had no experience. Shockingly he gave me a chance! He said I reminded him of his daughter who recently married so her room above the bar was also available. It felt like fate like I had been sucked into my very own fantasy book.
I spent my days writing in the nearby park and the nights dealing with town drunks. Honestly, they weren't too bad just demanding their drinks. I learned quickly and I became their favorite barmaid only because I made the drinks the fastest but it still made me feel accomplished. It was a bittersweet feeling to have the town drunks appreciate me more than my mother but at least I was appreciated.
I felt true relief once the season was over no longer worried they would find me and make me a last-minute entry. The bar was just closing and I was washing the grimy tables when the chime of the door startled me. The man was bundled his scarf nearly covering his whole face.
I turned to him and frowned politely "I am so sorry sir we are just closing."
The man gasps once he hears me speak "Y/N?"
I quickly back up accidentally sending a chair to the ground with a loud thud, "I think you have the wrong woman sir."
My boss exits the backroom at the commotion, "This fella bothering you Rose?"
"Are you serious Y/n? Rose? Be a little more original," the man unwraps his scarf and my fists immediately tighten.
"Colin, what are you doing here?" I practically growl.
"You know this man Rose? Seems a little too uptight for you, but I am not here to judge your taste in suitors." My boss chuckles finding his comment hilarious.
Colin gags, "That is my little sister I'll have you know! And I am bringing you right home Mother has been worried sick about you!"
I roll my eyes "She probably did not even know about my absence until Lady Whistledown announced it. How did she cover it up? Am I in the States visiting my cousins?"Colin's face turns beat red which tells me I am right.
Colin tries to change the subject, "Your sisters miss you dearly, Daphne was devasted you were not there for her wedding."
I gasped, "Daphne is already married! The season just ended!"
Colin rubbed his arm, "There were a lot of issues with this season Y/n… honestly we all could have used some of that Y/n wisdom. I especially could have used some of that wisdom." He mumbled the last part seeming very embarrassed to admit it.
"Oh, Colin… I am so sorry. I miss my siblings all dearly but I am not meant for the home carer life. I am meant to be out there writing about anything I can get my hands on." I gesture to the world around me.
"That is one good thing about your departure, no one thinks you are Lady WhistleDown anymore," He smirks.
"Oh what a pity I did like causing fear and scaring the men off with the promise to write about them," I smile.
Colin sighs, "I will make you a deal Y/n, travel with me during my studies. You can explore the world that way, but you must write to Mother and the rest of your siblings and let them know you are safe."
"You know she or Anthony will just drag me back home," I frown.
"Not with me by your side, I am sure I can convince Anthony and she can convince Mama." He smiles as the plan begins to form in his head.
I smiley widely, "You have yourself a deal Colin Bridgerton."
He smiles back as my boss lets out a few stray tears, "You truly are just like my daughter, just as stubborn and hot-headed. Be sure to visit your welcome back anytime."
I gave him a side hug, "Oh boss you big old softie."
Colin laughs, "Y/n you are truly something."
"Why thank you," I take a bow. "Shall we take our leave?"
"We shall," Colin smiles.
#bridgerton fanfiction#bridgerton fanfic#bridgerton x y/n#bridgerton x reader#bridgerton x sister reader#bridgerton request#bridgerton reader insert#colin bridgerton x you#colin bridgerton x reader
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Seizing for a part two of young!daryl head cannons omg😩
Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU Headcannons Part Two | Young!Daryl Dixon x Young!Fem!Reader
*GIF isn't mine.*
Word count: 853.
A/n: Here's a part two of my personal headcannons while I mentally prepare myself for the scene I'm about to write in my newest fic. Hope y'all like these!
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★ So it's quite common for us Daryl writers to have him call the reader "Sunshine", but I feel like it explains a lot about how he feels about you in this.
★ He definitely called you sunshine long before you actually got together. It's because Daryl sees his life as a bad thunderstorm, but you're the ray of sunshine that breaks through the devastating downpour.
★ Of all the things he loves the most about you, his favourite physical thing about you is your thighs. Whether you guys are watching movies on the couch and are cuddling, whether you're with him when he's driving, whether you guys are doing more... not-so-family-friendly activities, it doesn't matter. He loves gripping them. It's his absolute favourite.
★ Despite that, however, he's definitely a boob guy. He just can't hold them when you're in public, so your thighs share first place with them.
★ He definitely is also enamoured with your smile. It just makes his day so much better whenever he sees it.
★ He wanted to drop out of high school, but you talked him out of it—it wasn't easy, and you promised him that you'd support him either way, but he decided to stick it out and graduate.
★ In the first part, I mentioned that you and your mom lived with your grandparents until you were six. I definitely headcannon that your grandparents didn't love you and were deeply disappointed in your mom—they are really conservative and couldn't come to terms with the fact that their daughter got pregnant at 18.
★ They were abusive to you. Whether it was physically or mentally, that I'll let y'all decide for future fics.
★ Despite that, you remained positive. That was over a decade ago and you had refused a long time ago to allow them to be an anchor around your neck.
★ You talked to Daryl about them a while after you officially got together.
★ You told them about what they did and that made Daryl realise why you were so patient and caring with him. You understood.
★ On a more lighthearted note, Daryl has an unhealthy obsession with playing little pranks on you.
★ He's usually a serious guy, but with you, he allows himself to let loose. He plays pretty innocent pranks on you, like swapping your toothpaste out for mayonnaise. Never anything that could hurt you.
★ You always returned the favour, though, and that started many prank wars between the two of you.
★ Daryl isn't a great dancer, but sometimes he'll pull you into his arms and just sway with you, with or without music.
★ You absolutely loved it, even if you didn't understand why he did it.
★ “D, not that I'm complaining, but what's this about?”
★ “Jus' 'cause.” He never revealed more than that.
★ He would never tell you this, put he loved wearing face masks with you.
★ He kind of loved the way his skin felt afterwards. However, he loved how giggly you would get whenever he put up a "fight" and then finally agree to it.
★ He would always agree to it, but he allowed you to think you convinced him to change his mind. He'd let you have that just to see your radiant smile and hear your radiant laugh.
★ He lives for forehead kisses. Whether it's him giving them or receiving them from you, he doesn't care. He just loves them.
★ You and Daryl had both walked in on your mom being all lovey dovey with a man and teased her endlessly for it.
★ She always teased you and Daryl, so it was only fair to repay the favour, you had told her once.
★ She knew it was all in good fun, though, so she didn't scold you for it.
★ Your mom and Daryl are close. Not in a gross way, but in a familial way. She sees Daryl as her son-in-law.
★ She worked a lot of nightshirts at the bar and more often than not walked in the next morning to find you and Daryl acting all romantic in the kitchen.
★ Has she accidentally walked in on you and Daryl having sex? She would never tell...
★ She has met Daryl's father, as stated in the previous part, and absolutely hated the guy for what he was doing to Daryl.
★ She may or may not have been the reason why he had a flat tyre once and was late to something.
★ She had grown to heavily dislike her parents for how they treated her when she got pregnant with you. She vowed to herself that if you were to get pregnant at that age, she would never make you feel like you were worthless. She may have been a kid having a kid, but she loved you dearly and couldn't imagine her life without you.
★ She knew she wasn't always the best mom, but she tried her best and hoped she was doing okay.
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Okay, so here's part two. I might make a part three?
©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.
#krys writes .ೃ࿐#shopping spree hangout dreams#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#daryl x reader#twd daryl#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon x female reader#norman reedus#norman reedus x reader#the walking dead#young!daryl#young!daryl dixon#young daryl dixon
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i need to tell you—idol!soobin x gn!reader | besties pining after each other, right person/wrong time, angst.
cw. angst, suggestive but not smutty, kissing, swearing, i think its a gn!reader? pls lmk if it's not and i'll fix it, reader is from LA and is a performer, reader had feelings while in a relationship but never cheated, mentions of a breakup, kinda implied it was a shitty relationship, lmk if there's anything else. notes. please lmk if there's anything that isn't gn! wc. 2.8K
I never thought this last night with you would happen—I’d known for months you’d be going on a three-month long tour soon, but I didn’t want to believe it. You’d fly in from LA, we’d hang out, play video games, and hide our feelings from each other. Then you’d go back to California, we’d text and call as much as we could, you’d come back, and it would all start over.
But not seeing my best friend for three months, if not longer, sounds terrible. I take all of you in—your chin resting on your knees that are pulled to your chest, the city lights flickering across your face, the shape of your nose, you look stunning as ever. Your lips are squished by your knee pressing up on your chin and god, I wanna kiss you so fucking bad.
There’s nothing better than being on tour, but part of me wants you here with me forever.
But I can’t tell you any of this. Our feelings are undeniable but they need to stay a secret. You’re in a relationship—albeit a dead relationship, but a relationship nonetheless. More importantly, though, you’ll be leaving for three months tomorrow morning. We can’t start something now.
Or maybe it’s the perfect time to start something. It would be the perfect way to say goodbye. Then again, I don’t wanna add stress to your already stressful tour. You get anxious so easily. Maybe it won’t be that long.
“When do you think you’ll be back in Seoul?”
You blink out of your thoughts and say, “My last show is in Seoul actually, so…late October, early November.” I nod, taking another sip of my soju. “I don’t know how long I’ll stay though.” You shrug, leaning back on your hands. Turning away from me, you say, “I’m gonna miss you.”
Looking over at you, please just look me in the eyes. I want to see your beautiful eyes as much as I can before you leave. I wanna see you look at me the way you do before you say goodbye—a glint of hope and longing. I need to tell you—
“I’m gonna miss you too.” That’ll have to do for now. Surely I’m being overly dramatic about all this. I don’t know. You look at me, but glance down as soon as our gazes meet.
“You’ve become, like, my best friend out here.”
Another reason why I can’t tell you my feelings. I can’t…I can’t do that to you. You need a friend out here. And if you don’t feel the same way about me—even if I think you do—you’d never talk to me again. And then you’d have no one out here.
“You’re one of my best friends too,” I add.
“Ah,” you scoff. “I got hit with the ‘one of’.” I chuckle with you, running my fingers through my hair as you stand to your feet. “I think I should go.”
No. You can’t. I need to tell you—
Standing up to join you, I’m only a few inches from you. I reach for your hand, but you pull it away to adjust your jacket sleeve.
“Are you sure you wanna go?”
“On my tour?” Your eyes finally meet mine, like are you crazy? And yeah, I kinda am. “Yeah, I think I should go still,” you chuckle.
“No, I mean,” I start. “Are you sure you wanna leave right now?”
“Oh.” You sigh, looking down at the cars driving down the street, watching the train that we spent hours on go by, watching the lights of the agency building flash. “I need to.” But you don’t want to. “My flight leaves in six hours and I haven’t even started packing.”
“Let me drive you to your hotel?” Please.
Reluctantly agreeing, we drive in a devastating silence, like we both have the same thing on our minds. And that we both know we have the same thing on our minds.
Arriving at your hotel, I pull up to the drop-off driveway and you start to hop out. No. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you—
“Why don’t you park and walk me upstairs?”
I have no idea where this is going, all I know is I’m walking next to you down this hallway with my hands shoved in my pockets while your arms are crossed. Standing in the doorway, you lean back against the door, fiddling with your thumbs, refusing to look at me or open the door.
Working up the courage, you look up and say, “I’ll see you soon, yeah?” I nod before we say our final goodbyes. The door shuts behind you slowly. No. Not yet. I need to tell you—
Walking away defeated, I hear a door behind me open, but I keep my eyes on the ground. A quiet “Soobin?” comes from behind me. I turn, welcomed by you pulling me into a hug. Your arms wrap around my neck and mine around your waist for what feels like forever. But it’s not enough. No. Don’t pull away yet. I need to tell you—
Looking in my eyes, you bite your lips as you shift your weight. I can't help but think you’re about to say exactly what I want to hear right now. “Thanks for being such a good friend.”
Letting out a soft laugh, I smile and say, “No worries.” You wave at me and turn back toward the door before I say your name. Turning back, you wait for me to say something while your hand rests on the handle. Please. Don’t go yet. I need to tell you— “I, uh…” I need to tell you. But I can’t. “Good luck.”
“One more hug?” Oh, thank god. I nod, managing to keep my excitement from being too obvious. Your arms wrap around my shoulders again while mine fall around your waist, you face digging into my neck. I breathe you in, wishing I could just kiss you already. Pulling apart, you don’t move your arms away. You look in my eyes like you want to say something more. But you don’t know what. Or if you should. “You know,” you start. “I, uh…I wouldn’t be mad if…”
“If…?”
“Are you gonna kiss me or am I gonna have to—“
That’s all I need. My lips crash into yours. It’s slow. And sweet. Your lips are soft, made kissable by that chapstick you’re always making me carry in my pocket. My hand is on your cheek as you smile against my lips and I lean into the kiss to deepen it. Breaking the kiss, you laugh out loud, your head falling back before you look up at me again. You’re so close to me.
“For fuck’s sake—I’ve been trying to get you to kiss me all night,” you say.
“What! No you haven’t.”
“We’ll, maybe I’m not the best at sending signals…” My lips find yours again, but only briefly. “Spend the night?” My eyebrows raise. I don’t know if I should—starting something like that right now is a little risky. And it would make saying goodbye that much harder.
“Don’t you have to leave for the airport in, like, four hours?”
“Eh,” you shrug. “Yeah, I guess so, but I’d like it if you stayed.” You smile— “We don’t have to, like, do anything. I just wanna…” you take a deep breath, “spend more time with you. Wanna say goodbye in the morning, not right now, you know?”
I let go of her, backing away. “I dunno if I should…”
“Oh.” You drop your arms to your sides. “Okay. Yeah.” Crossing your arms, you nod softly and bite the inside of your cheek.
“I want to but,” I sigh. “I just don’t know if it’s a good idea tonight.”
“I-I just meant hang out,” you shrug. “I’m gonna be packing most of the time anyway. I mean, you definitely don’t have to,” you say. “Just thought you might want to.”
I keep repeating to myself you’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. You’re in a relationship. We already kissed—what’s the harm in spending the night without sleeping together? No. I don’t want us to start like this.
“I think I should go,” I say, saying our final awkward goodbyes. I’m walking away, but I know you’re still standing there, leaning up against the doorframe. Hope is trying to bubble up as I wait for you to call out my name again. But I’ve told you no. So I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. I would do the same. Although I just wish—
“I broke up with them.”
“What?” I turn to face you, chewing on your thumbnail as you slowly smile at me before giving me a nod. That’s it.
Rushing back to you, I hold your face in my hand before kissing you again. We breathe each other in, arms wrapped around each other.
“Are you being serious?” I ask you through my deep breaths. Biting your lip, you nod with a smirk. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I dunno, I’m sorry,” you start. “I guess I just—I guess I was embarrassed that it took so long,” she says. “And I didn’t want you to think I broke up with them for you. I broke up with them—”
“For you,” I say. You look up at me, mumbling a soft yeah before I say, “It’s okay,” I chuckle, peppering your face and neck with kisses while you giggle and scrunch your shoulders. “God, I’ve been wanting– to tell you–“ I say in between kisses. “For so long– that I have the biggest– crush on you.”
“I know you do,” you laugh. “I have the biggest crush on you too.”
“Seriously?” You nod and I don’t let up with the peppering of your face with my lips.
“Okay, okay—“ you say. “Lemme get the door open.” Laughing, you reach in your back pocket for the key, waiting for the buzz and the green light. As we stumble through, we kiss again, both of us in each other’s trance. The room’s spinning, I feel like I’m floating. Our hands roam everywhere. Mine settle on your backside to squeeze while you hum against my lips. Fuck.
“You know,” I say in between kisses. “I know you said we didn’t have to do anything but I wouldn’t mind—“
“Oh yeah, we’re definitely having sex tonight.”
“Okay, good,” I laugh, picking you up by your waist to walk you to the bed. Sitting down, you straddle my waist—always smiling, giggling, being sweet. “You sure?”
“Ah, you’re so sweet,” you say, holding my face in your hands. “Here is me giving consent, yeah?” I nod. “Soobin, yes, I want you to fuck me.” Smiling into a kiss, you break it before saying, “Your turn.”
I say your name confidently, swiping a thumb across the apple of your cheek. “Yes, I wanna fuck you.”
“Oh shit,” you say, your expression drops. “This is really happening.” My eyebrows stitch together; do you not want to— “I mean, you’re really here,” you say, looking over my face, squishing my cheeks to make my lips pucker. “You’re like…real.”
“Are you okay?” I ask through my pouty lips. Groaning, you lift off me to plop down on your back, rubbing your forehead with your fingertips.
“Fuck, I dunno.”
“Um,” I start, resting my hand on your thigh. “It’s okay. We don’t have to,” I say, watching for your reaction. Even if you do want to, there's a voice in the back of my head screaming at me Don’t do this! It’s not the right time! But there’s another part screaming Remember how long you’ve wanted to be with her!? You sit up, sitting criss-cross while you fiddle with the hem of your jeans.
Looking up, you look into my eyes, trying your hardest to put together the words you want to say but don't know how. But I know what you mean. “Soobin…I’m so sorry.”
Shaking my head, I say, “No, no it’s okay. You don’t need to apologize.”
“I just don’t think right now is a great time to…y’know, start something like this.” Well, at least it sounds like it would’ve started something, not just end with us having sex. “I just think,” you start, reaching to run your fingers through my hair. “It would make saying goodbye harder.”
It would be the perfect way to say goodbye too though, no?
“Yeah, you’re right.” I smile. And you are. I can’t imagine how shitty it would be tomorrow morning waking up next to you knowing I can’t see you for three months. Or even worse—you’ve already left and didn’t wake me up to say goodbye. “Let’s not—”
“I do want to though,” you sigh. “Just not right now,” you say, biting your cheek while playing with the bedsheets. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to, like, get your hopes up, I dunno.”
“Hey, listen,” I say, reaching for your hands. “I was happy when you came out of your room to give me a hug but kissing you…” I hold your face in my hands. “That was—do you know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you?” You shake your head. “I honestly couldn’t tell you either. I don’t remember a time before wanting to kiss you.” Tilting your head, you smile up at me shyly. “But we shouldn’t do anything unless both of us are ready, okay?”
Nodding, you say, “Yeah, okay.”
“You want me to stay?”
“Yes please,” you say. “If you’re comfortable with that?”
“I’ll tell you what…I’ll stay if you let me kiss you again,” I say. “If not…well, then I’ll still stay but you’ll be left kissless.”
“I can’t be left kissless, can I?” You joke, wrapping your arms around your shoulders, pulling me closer. Our lips meet again and it’s just as nice as the first time around. You’re so…perfect is the only way I know how to describe you. We’re trying, trying to tell each other what we want to say. And I think we can both hear it. But not saying it out loud is a pain I don’t know if I can bear. I can feel you start to pull apart, but I can’t yet. This can’t end.
We hesitantly pull apart and you look at me, “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing. You’re absolutely fine. I promise.” But I know you’re not apologizing for not sleeping with me. You know you wouldn’t need to apologize for that. I know what you’re truly sorry for. And I’m sorry for it too.
Tears start to pool in your eyes. Everything is a bit…much for you right now. You know you’re hurting me, you know you’re hurting yourself, but there’s nothing we can do about it. It’s simply not the right time. You need to focus on work and you need a friend while you’re gone. You don’t need to be dealing with a brand new relationship. I get it. I’m in the same boat as you are.
“Hey…” I hold your face with one hand. “Dance with me?”
Sniffling, you nod while I let go to turn music on my phone. A song I know you love—Unforgettable by Nat King Cole.
“Ugh,” you say, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “You’re too sweet.” Wrapping around each other, this is the closest we’ve ever been. Your arms are around my waist as you cuddle into me, mine are around your shoulders, one of my hands on the back of your head. Your sniffles rattle me inside and out. Our hearts beat against each other as we sway, your cheek against my chest as I place gentle kisses to your forehead.
This song is saying everything we want to but can’t. Except for that one thing. Those three words that are being repeated in our heads over and over. We both want to, need to say it, but we can’t. Now’s not the right time.
Right now, though, this is perfect. You in my arms, moving to the music with me. And it all feels right, despite that one thing that’s missing. Our lips pull at each other like magnets until they’re pressed together gently and softly. I graze my thumb over your tear-stained cheek and you smile subtly against my lips. Your sniffles are dying down, but they’re still there. They’re still breaking my heart.
Breaking the kiss, you look up at me and your lips part to say something—I know exactly what you want to say, but I shake my head. This isn't the right time. Closing your mouth, you keep looking at me, taking deep breaths before laying on my chest again.
Your sniffles start to pick up again—more sporadic, uneven. A tear falls onto my neck and—god, I don’t know if I can handle this.
“I do though.”
Your voice is strained and devastating. I absolutely hate hearing you like this. I can’t even bring myself to try to look at your face. My heart’s already broken. But seeing your face right now…it’d shatter it into a million pieces and would never be mendable.
“I know,” I say, kissing your temple. “I do too.”
#hp's writing 🪲#soobin smut#soobin hard thoughts#soobin hard hours#txt smut#txt hard hours#txt hard thoughts#choi soobin#soobin x reader#soobin ff#soobin fic#soobin fanfic#soobin x chubby reader#kpop ff#kpop fanfic#kpop fic#kpop smut#soobin angst#choi soobin angst#txt angst#kpop angst#i don't know how to tag this im sorry y'all
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Heart's Choice WIP announcement: Heart of the Mountain by Fay Ikin
Heart of the Mountain is a new Heart's Choice text game by Fay Ikin, the author of Heart of Battle and Asteroid Run: No Questions Asked. It's in the same setting as Heart of Battle, with a new MC and totally standalone.
Play Chapter 1 here! Fay would love to hear whatever feedback you have if you have a moment - either on the forum, or send it to me and I'll pass it on to her as she's not on here.
-
The war between the Coritan Republic and Messimera has been over for years, but as a magician you’ll never be free of your duties to your country.
With control over warmth and heat energy, you’ve been sent to a remote Messimeran outpost, where a small group of soldiers from both sides have been tasked to cooperate and guard the northernmost demilitarized zone…where your predecessor went mysteriously missing.
If anyone crosses the mountain pass or the frozen waterway, the peace treaties could fail. It’s frigid, isolated work, and monotonous until a mysterious fellow magician falls at your doorstep hiding dangerous secrets. Will you welcome your kind, or support your colleagues’ suspicions of them?
Everyone has their own agenda - and their own secrets to guard. When their goals oppose each other, who will you support and who will you stand against? Who will you keep close when your magic starts to fail, when paranoia and fear strike the outpost? A mysterious force within the mountain threatens to topple everything your country has worked for. What are you willing to lose to survive - your livelihood, your love, or your magic itself?
Heart of the Mountain is set in the same setting as Heart of Battle, 4-5 years later. All of the characters are new for this game, though backstory elements can have some familiar notes from the previous game. You won’t need to have played Heart of Battle to play this game.
I’m aiming for 3 or 4 chillies - some sex scenes are very explicit, and some will (at the reader’s choice) feature some intense kinky experiences.
As with Heart of Battle, it’s v/v. The MC can be a man (cis, trans or non-specified), woman (cis, trans or non-specified) or non-binary person (AMAB, AFAB, or not specified); the love interests are selectable between cis man/cis woman/non-binary.
There are four characters alongside the MC - everyone the MC interacts with is romanceable and plot relevant, and the conflict between different love interests’ goals and ambitions drives the plot.
All the characters have the possibility of a happy ending, but on some high-conflict routes some characters can become hostile antagonists
There are currently some polyamorous options planned: Eleri/Felician/MC, and Stelare/Theano/MC.
Romance Options:
Captain Felician Resende
GRIEVING OFFICER from the Coritan Republic
Felician’s magician best friend, the MC’s predecessor, went missing a month ago: a devastating loss Felician is still struggling to accept. With bad experiences with magic in the war, and a lingering deep distrust of magic, Felician’s trying hard to keep it out of the way of professional - or personal - relationships.
Best Felician: honorable, go-getting, enthusiastic
Worst Felician: inflexible, manic, controlling
What to say: “I agree, a five mile hike is a perfect team-building opportunity!”
What not to say: “I hope you don’t mind, I’ve made some amendments to your chore chart!”
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Sergeant Eleri Katsaros
CONFLICTED ENGINEER from Messimera
You can’t get secrets out of Eleri with a prybar, but it’s still obvious that Sergeant Katsaros bitterly regrets whatever happened during the war. So now, here’s someone committed to being kind while frozen with shame. Eleri can’t imagine being called a good person, let alone believing it.
Best Eleri: Idealistic, practical, reliable
Worst Eleri: Fatalistic, brittle, volatile
What to say: “Let’s stay up until four in the morning to do inventory. In silence.”
What not to say: “I’ll only give you your toolbox back if you can name five things you like about yourself.”
-
Doctor Theano Leventis
MISANTHROPIC PHYSICIAN from Messimera
“Doctor Leventis has the potential to be a shining star of the Messimeran Army…if only Leventis could match talent with compassion”.
This, like other performance reviews, Theano has disregarded as ‘pointless sap’. There’s little point in babying other people’s emotions when there’s any number of things to do instead: music, reading, gambling, scientific analysis…you name it, Theano can do it. Unless it requires a bedside manner.
Best Theano: Creative, progressive, perceptive
Worst Theano: Bitter, destructive, dismissive
What to say: “Why would we be emotionally vulnerable with each other when we could get drunk and pass out instead?”
What not to say: “I’m sorry, but the future of the outpost relies on your ability to give me a convincing hug.”
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Stelare Belmonte
FLIGHTY MAGICIAN from the Coritan Republic
Magic academy washout, army washout, an Illustrious’ magickeeper’s washout, an arena designer washout…is there anything Stelare can’t get fired from for ‘wilful disobedience and lack of adherence to basic safety’?
Stelare has telekinetic magic: the application of force to move and manipulate the world. But instead of being indispensable, Stelare has happily embraced the label of ‘massive liability’ and the freedom that comes with it. But what exactly is the plan on this remote, classified mountaintop?
At their best: Passionate, ambitious, protective
At their worst: Unpredictable, careless, vindictive
What to say: “I made you some hot chocolate, the others are so jealous!”
What not to say: “You don’t scare me…you’re just mediocre.”
#interactive fiction#choice of games#heart's choice#choicescript game#text game#fay ikin#heart of the mountain#heart of battle#choicescript#romance games#amare games#if wip#dashingdon#dashingdon wip#interactive novel wip#I am an absolute wife guy about this incredible game <3#incredibly proud of my wife's hard work#and incredibly normal about the characters
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in honour of the West End's next to normal closing today I've finally proof-read my 'things I noticed/general thoughts' post that's been sitting in my drafts since I saw it earlier this month. it's very long I'm very sorry.
Act One:
it was really fun watching this show in September given that there's two references to it in the first song
I adore the monologue about the pills that Dr. Fine gives during 'Who's Crazy'. it's rhythmic and funny yet also unnerving. It's such a quick and impactful way to summarise what Diana has been through for the past 16 years
Gabe does a 'one of your French girls' pose on the kitchen counter under the cabinets during 'My Psychopharmacologist and I'
Jamie Parker made direct eye contact with me during the last part of 'Who's Crazy' and it was one of the most intense experiences of my life
I might just be dense but I don't get the point of the neon sign that says 'Fine' which drops down during the Dr. Fine scene. Initially I thought that then one would drop down saying 'Madden' during his scenes to help people differentiate between the doctors but then it didn't so it just feels like a weird extra prop
speaking of random props, shout out to the iPad on the table in the opening scene which Gabe pretty much instantly takes away after telling Diana that she shouldn't obsess over tragic news stories and is then never seen again as far as I remember
Dan in the flashback scene being such an optimist about Diana's pregnancy and the future they're gonna have together... soul-crushing
Caissie Levy's 'I Miss The Mountains.' Holy Shit.
I love how Diana and Gabe are the only characters who sing on/stand on the table. it's as though it's this extra dimension of the house that only they have access to and it's a really neat and subtle way to show that they relate to each other in ways other characters don't
'It's Gonna Be Good' is so underrated. Jamie Parker's somewhat genuine optimism becoming optimism-through-gritted-teeth is incredibly acted
The way Jamie delivers the first line of 'He's Not Here' is devastating. the heaviness of that moment as you feel the audience around you realising what's just happened is something I'll remember forever
Gabe body-blocking Dan from Diana during 'I Am the One' is such good staging. People talk about how Jack Wolfe plays Gabe with a lot of layers and a lot of simultaneous contradiction and this song is one of the best examples of that. how Jack manages to project a character who is goading his father and protecting his mother at the same time is beyond me
also Jack has maybe half-an-inch on Jamie which obviously isn't something the actors control but it does makes Gabe seem just that bit more threatening when he's getting in Dan's face
for the first part of Superboy and the Invisible Girl when it's just Natalie singing, Gabe is actively laughing. He's totally unperturbed by her efforts to make herself seen to her mother. it's only when Diana replies, particularly when she says "you're our little pride and joy, our perfect plan" that you see his face drop and you see him trying to figure out a way to stop her from getting Diana's attention which then results in him kicking her off the melody in her own song
"I'll hurt you" being directed at Dan and "I'll heal you" being directed at Diana as Gabe gently touches her face gets me so bad. but the most painful part of 'I'm Alive' for me is when Gabe looks at Dan as he says "I'm the perfect stranger who knows you too well." that's the first time you realise that perhaps Gabe doesn't just impact Diana, and there's something much larger at play
Caissie and Jack W's voices harmonising on 'Catch Me I'm Falling' was one of my favourite parts of the whole show. Their voices are so magical together and their mother/son chemistry is incredible
The 'I Dreamed A Dance' into 'There's a World' sequence is one of the most tragically beautiful things I've ever witnessed. I went into the show knowing what Gabe was trying to achieve during 'There's A World' and yet Jack's voice is so beautifully haunting you totally forget you're supposed to root against Gabe in that moment
Jamie Parker's 'I've Been' is some of the best acting through song out there. Interestingly my friend and I had very different interpretation's of what Gabe's horrified reaction to the blood meant. I viewed it as him being upset about what he convinced Diana to do - he doesn't like seeing her hurt. Whereas my friend saw it as him being angry at himself that she didn't manage to follow through, meaning that he has failed to regain control over her life
'I'm no sociopath, I'm no Sylvia Plath. I ain't no Frances Farmer kind of find for you' is one of the best musical theatre lyrics of all time. I genuinely don't know why I Miss The Mountains is the 'big song' known from N2N over 'Didn't I See This Movie?', it's just so good
Natalie's 'She trusts you!' line is heartbreaking, I was basically watching that entire scene through my fingers because of how high the emotion was
Act Two:
'Pfizer's woman of the year' will in fact be peak comedy every time. Eleanor's delivery is *chef's kiss*
Gabe having just one line in 'Wish I Were Here', and that line being 'Wish I were here.' Yeah. I feel very normal about that.
Natalie's line of "Can I hide my stupid hunger, fake some confidence and cheer?" being pretty much exactly what Gabe has done throughout the entirety of act 1
"And you're not a scary rockstar anymore" got one of the biggest laughs at both of the shows I went to
Dan's desperation during 'Better Than Before.' He is simultaneously trying to cajole Diana into remembering and get Natalie to be more positive. This one song really highlights how he's being pulled in a million different directions while trying to hold it all together and Jamie portrays that so well
Aftershocks. Wow. The way the last word of each line echoes throughout the theatre is great sound design. I've been in exam halls louder than the audience during that song. Holding a room that captive as a silhouette is quite the feat Jack Wolfe you will always be famous
"I don't know where the fucking pieces go" as Diana pushes things off the table as if there's a real jigsaw there that she's rage quitting and choosing to give up on is such a nice detail
"Have you talked of your depression, your delusions and your son?" The gasp in the theatre both times was sickening
the response of "good' in reply to "name?" when technically that was part of his name as they are the "Goodmans". I don't really have a point here I just think it's neat
The 'It's Gonna Be Good" reprise was one of my favourite Dan/Diana moments. Caissie and Jamie are really pushing each other to their emotional limits and they handle it so well
The first "Why stay?" is so fragile as Diana sits against the kitchen island. Also interesting given that Dan and Gabe will also sit against there later when they are at their lowest point in the story. The idea of the characters crawling to the 'centre/heart' of the home when they are at their weakest
"This is one old game that I can play so well" is the line that has stuck the most with me throughout the show. Jack's delivery of it while striding across the kitchen table - seemingly totally invincible - is crazy.
how Caissie manages to deliver "you shrugged and said that no one really knows" with humour and desperation at the same time is amazing
When Gabe and Diana stand on the table and if they let go of one another they'll fall. yeahhhhh.....
Gabe's realisation that Diana isn't going to give up on getting better. Totally collapsing in on himself and beginning to cry. How you manage to feel bad for him after all the destruction he's caused is wild
Diana's "maybe I'm tired of the game" relating back to Gabe's "this is one old game that I can play so well"
the lyrics in 'Hey #3' clearly reflecting things Diana has done, Henry cutting Natalie off at "bleeding in the bathtub"
"I am the one who'll heal you" being said to Dan not Diana this time
"Why didn't you go with her?" is the most devastating line in the whole musical I said what I said. Jamie's delivery of it is heart wrenching
the drums and bass kicking in for the loud part of I Am The One as Gabe becomes desperate to be seen once again
Jack and Jamie's acting in this moment is so intense. there's a moment where it's genuinely feels as though only one of them can make it out of the interaction alive
Jack's emphasis on the word 'loved' in the line "I am the one who loved you" nearly killed me on the spot. how somebody can deliver a line so desperately while remaining pitch perfect is unfair
Natalie coming in to kiss Dan's head at the start of 'Light' like Gabe kisses Diana's in the first scene. I'm such a sucker for a gut punching
the "And are they real?" line about Diana's parent's from Henry gets such a loud reaction from the audience. Some people laugh immediately, some people clearly get shocked out of their sobs. so good
In conclusion, this is my favourite musical of all time and I'm going to be so annoying waiting for the pro-shot to come out
#next to normal#next to normal uk#next to normal west end#caissie levy#jamie parker#eleanor worthington cox#jack wolfe#trevor dion nicholas#jack ofrecio
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Engineer! cuddling you for the first time and falling asleep afterwards 🗣🗣💯🔥🔥
character: engie
note: I was reminded my a mutual that I have a fucking tumblr blog ����😭😭 so here's uh yeah engie posting cause I miss him and also...this one goes out to u moot... xoxo...
also it's 4 am and I wanted to make this short but...yk me...I'm a yapper ☺️
also first 4 paragraphs are just a bit of backstory but you can skip that!!!
warnings: this is CORNYYYY super CHEESY so BE WARNED 🥶🥶🥶🥶
and also I'm making the reader the shy one ❤️ not engie ILL MAKE ONE WHERE ENGIE IS SHY OKKKK calm down
♡♡♡
• I had a lot of different scenarios for this but I'm choosing this one cause I feel like it fits ❤️
• It was a hard day for the both of you. Your team had suffered an embarrassing loss, with scout constantly dying to the enemy's sentries and spy getting caught by the pyro again and again. It was especially bad for you, though. You got three whole kills, a devastating drop from your usual 7.
• And Engie? He got tired of getting his sentries sapped over and over. His usually flawless strategy crumbled at the enemy spy who kept on tearing down his defenses. After he made dinner for the team, you saw him dissappear into his workshop, and not coming out at all after that.
• You tried to sleep it off, but one, you were disappointed in your performance today, and two... you wanted to see how Engie was doing.
It was, what, 2 am? 3? But who cares, right? You missed your boyfriend, and you could tell he was still awake when you walked over to his workshop and saw the light pouring out from the door.
There was no sound as you approached the door. Maybe he was asleep? You hesitated, but you opened it quietly, careful not to potentially wake him.
• But he was awake. His back was hunched over, goggles still attached firmly to his eyes. He definitely had creases in his face from how much he wore them. And that signature hardhat of his. He sat staring at- whatever contraption he was working on.
He didn't notice you, walking over and standing behind him, quietly taking a look at what it was he was so focused on. A little remote, you had never seen it before, but you assumed it had something to do with his sentries.
"What'cha working on?"
• He visibly flinched, not expecting to hear your voice. He blinked, shaking his head and turning to look at you.
"Darlin'! Ya scared me."
He chuckled, his voice was low and rasped as if he hadn't spoken or drank in a while. Now all he wore was a t shirt and more comfortable joggers, atleast he bothered to put on something softer before working.
He gave you a small smile, but you could tell from his voice and the creases near his eyes that he was exhausted.
"What're you doin' up so late? I thought you'd be asleep by now."
He commented very ironically, that smile still plastered staying even with the exhaustion written on his face. You stood there for a moment, before crossing your arms and tilting your head, mimicking that smile.
"I could ask you the same thing."
Another chuckle, this one less energetic and strained. He looked over at what he worked on, "I'm workin' on somethin' that I think will really bring us back. Its just...lots of trial and error." He looked back to you, taking off his hardhat and setting it to the side.
"But I think I'll take a break from that. Did ya need somethin' from me?"
You blinked, realizing that, you didn't really have anything to talk about or do with him. After a moment of contemplation, you shrugged and went quiet when you spoke.
"I...no, not really. I just missed you."
• You two hadn't been dating for very long at all, so admitting all this lovey dovey stuff was embarrassing. You couldn't see his expression too well, but the way his lips curled into a big smile made your knees feel weak. It was like his exhaustion faded at your words, as he fully turned back to you and hummed.
"Ya missed me, huh?"
He felt so happy hearing you say that. He couldn't help it, the sudden shyness in your tone made his heart skip a beat. "I missed you too, sugar."
• Your own lips formed a smile when he said that, and that little pet name? He could make any corny nickname into something cute. You two just stared at each other for a little bit, before he broke the silence with a small yawn.
He murmured a quiet "sorry", which made you giggle. Even if it had only been a minute or two, seeing him had already made you feel better about how your day went.
• You approached him as he sat on his chair, he stared quietly, tilting his head with a smile when you stopped and stood closely over him. You hesitated, but quickly blurted it out.
"Can we...yknow.."
You made a gesture with your hand which he couldn't help but smile at.
"Cuddle?"
It sounded so silly and embarrassing to say outloud. But you two were adults, goddammit. And you had to engage in some sort of cheesy romantic thing if this was gonna be a real thing.
He looked even more surprised then when you admitted you missed him, and somehow, his big smile grew even bigger. He nodded, chuckling once more and finding your hesitance charming.
"Of course we can, darlin'. C'mere."
• He wasn't nervous at all. Well- maybe a little. But definitely not more than you.
"How do I-"
You hovered awkwardly over his sitting form, but he only opened his arms up to you, his hand gently guiding your waist as he pulled you closer. He watched your nervous face, feeling his heart beat quicken at the way you seemed so scared to "mess up" or make him uncomfortable.
You sat down onto his lap, your chests close together as you settled your arms against his shoulders. This was the first time you two were this close. Everything else was just- a short hug or a kiss that lasted a little longer than most. You stared through the lenses of his goggles, it was a little silly but, you found the sight to be endearing. He felt the exact same.
His arms slowly wrapped around your body, making sure you were comfortable, too. You spoke up quietly, feeling a bit more nervous when you realized how close your faces were.
"Is...is this okay?" He only nodded.
"Mhm. More than okay."
• You relaxed a little bit more as you looked at his calm expression, and slowly, wrapped your own arms around him too. Feeling braver, you rested your head on his shoulder and sighed. You had been needing this. His body was so warm, so nice, like an oven.
He had been needing this too. He didn't realize how tense he had been until he calmed down from the feeling of your weight on him, his muscles could relax. He had been waiting for this, honestly. He wished it had happened sooner because if he knew how nice it would feel, he would've done it at any chance he got.
Being able to hold you felt therapeutic, felt comfortable and familiar. He leaned against the table as you settled in his lap, his eyes closed as he could hear the sound of your faint breathing. He hoped you couldn't hear the fast beating of his heart, but you secretly hoped he couldn't hear yours.
• "This is nice."
You mumbled quietly. He hummed softly in response. Your voice sounded so nice to him, so quiet, you could lull him to sleep and he wouldn't complain. He could never complain.
Instinctively, he started to rub random circles around your back, your own eyes closing at the soothing feeling.
• You'd break the silence occasionally by talking about random things that he'd be happy to answer. He was supposed to take a small break and go back to work but...you had fallen asleep. Well, how could he work if you were sound asleep on his lap, hm? Guess it would have to wait till tomorrow.
♡♡♡
was that a satisfying ending I can't tell I'm so tired OMG this was lowkey me rambling sorry for shit writing English not first language + I haven't written in so long kmg.
#tf2#tf2 x reader#tf2 headcanons#tf2 engineer#tf2 engie#engie tf2#engineer tf2#tf2 engineer x reader#tf2 engie x reader#tf2 oneshot#oneshot#i love him sm#i miss him#i miss him is that normal#hes not real#my 40 yesr old baby#i miss you so much engie#omg.#im in heat#KIDDING#I love him#ramble kinda
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