#not that my original posts get much attention anyway
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SRSLY ABT the attention to detail in comics.
Rereading Steph’s pregnancy arc a few times gave me such a bigger appreciation to the subtle attention to detail that was included.
It genuinely surprised me, esp given I normally associate Dixons writing in Robin 93 as riddled with inconsistencies (which it sometimes just is to be fair). But so many small details in Steph’s pregnancy arc are genuinely so well interconnected. I was also wondering about who came up with some of these details, I wish I knew.
A lot of the stuff I noticed I couldn’t even fit into my og post bc it just wasn’t relevant to my point.
Like all the villians who show up to help Arthur in Steph’s dream appear to be all the same villians who teamed up w Arthur during Blunt Trauma, and who Steph fought in Blunt Trauma.
The shirt she’s wearing in her dream sequence is the same shirt she was wearing when she went into labor (and the same shirt she wore when confessing her doubts to Tim). The overalls from her dream sequence match the overalls she wore in the Secret Origins 80 Page Special, specially in the moment where she confirms her dedication to giving up her baby for adoption to hopefully give it a better childhood than her own. Her dream sequence outfit is therefore a combination of her outfit worn in a moment of doubt about adoption and the outfits she wore in a moment about certainty abt adoption: literally her conflict in the dream is represented just through what clothes she’s wearing.
This one is probably more of a stretch but the last thing Steph hearing before going under is one of them commenting that the ‘Baby is strong’, which we see repeated twice, before transitioning directly into Steph’s own dialogue, as her dream begins. Potentially this is a mirror to the convo Steph and Crystal have in #59 where Crystal begins the convo by referring to Steph as ‘baby’ and ends it by referring to her as ‘strong’.
And even her baby wearing a little Crocky onesie could be a call back to the kid Steph saved in Blunt Trauma who was crawling after a Crocky toy. This one I’m less sold on, but I really really like the idea of Steph’s subconscious melding children she’s interacted with semi recently into her dreamed version of her baby.
Anyway such an interesting point abt Tim in this comic. I’ve definitely noted it before but yeah, his little speech is just conservative propaganda abt the nuclear family and does as a result of that come across less concerned for Steph herself. Bc of how blatant Tim’s speech is I srsly don’t hold it against the character: as you said, he’s also like 14 and trying to be there for his girlfriend.
Fantastic great point about her support systems and how vulnerable Steph is at that point. And many points. I will never get over how much preboot Steph is isolated as a character. Heartbreaking stuff actually.
The biggest question Steph grapples with throughout her entire pregnancy is the question of whether or not she should give up her baby. By closely examining the elements from Steph's dream sequence as she gives birth the reason Stephanie eventually decides to give up her baby becomes apparent.
We first see this question arise in Robin #58, where sitting on a rooftop, pretty soon after discovering her pregnancy, Steph brings up the idea that she wants to keep the baby, and says she doesn’t know how she could give it up.
Steph seems to continue with adoption arrangements despite this confession, although we can see that Steph seemingly spends the rest of her pregnancy arc secretly debating the matter.
We see this subtly illustrated through the usage of magazines. Steph begins her pregnancy reading magazines geared towards her age range and gender, ("teen" and "boys") with one magazine seemingly about pregnancy "9 Months".
Robin #59
When we see Steph reading magazines again a few issues later, she has a "clothes for baby" catalogue and a "teen" magazine. She seems to be looking at the baby clothes catalogue when Tim walks into the room, causing her to subtly hide it under the "teen" magazine.
Robin #61 / #62
Steph brings up a big question on that rooftop in Robin #59: how can she possibly give up her baby? And although it appears at first Steph accepts and moves on, choosing to give up her baby, we know that this question never really got answered for Steph, she’s still been thinking all the while throughout her pregnancy, while reading these magazines, while hiding her doubts until the last moment: how is she going to be able to go through with this?
But we don't get final confirmation of this fact until Steph finally voices her conflict to Tim, the same night she goes into labor. Notice how all the magazines around her are now all baby related.
Robin #64
When Steph finally cracks and confesses to Tim her desire to keep the baby after all, Tim tries to reason with her. Although Steph seems to agree with some of his points, it’s very important to note that it still doesn’t seem like Steph’s committed to the choice to give up her baby for adoption. She says she knows it’s the right thing to do, but she trails off with a ‘but…’ making her indecisiveness clear. She still hasn’t really made up her mind.
Steph goes into labor later the same night, and due to unspecified complications is rushed to the hospital. Steph is given some kind of anesthesia, and enters her dream as a c-section is performed. When she exits her dream and awakes, baby born, something has changed.
Robin #65
So if Stephanie, all throughout her pregnancy up has been questioning this, finally voicing her doubts the night before she goes into labor, and when she awakes, she has come to a firm decision she says she figured on her own, the only place and time where Steph could have made this choice is during her dream sequence.
So what about the dream changed her mind?
One of the big repeated themes throughout Stephs dream sequence is a conflation of her own childhood and that of her baby's. Stephs feelings and memories meld, and the line between her and her baby is shaky.
This isn't a random detail, or even an inevitability of a dreamlike state: it's a specific choice and I think it explains how and why Steph makes up her mind the way she does.
Stephs biggest influence towards the idea of giving her baby up for adoption is her fear that her baby might experience a similar childhood to her own. We see this argument start to convince Steph when Tim brings up Stephs own childhood the night she goes into labor and when Steph appears more confident in the idea of giving up her baby in the Secret Origins 80 Page Giant, it's directly connected to the idea of sparing her baby the same garbage childhood she was subjected to.
Steph is convinced finally to give up her baby because the conflation between her babys potential childhood and her own childhood in her dream sequence convinces her that the elements which made her childhood so shitty have not fundamentally changed.
Crystal Brown
Despite their relationship seemingly better than perhaps in years, Dream-Crystal is portrayed as completely oblivious to the danger Arthur presents, ushering him in and even scolding Steph for her concern. If Steph and Crystals relationship is at such a high point, then why would Steph’s mind portray Crystal as someone who opens the door to this danger and ignores this threat?
Because it’s something Steph is dredging up from her own childhood. It’s not malicious, but it’s apparent that despite being a target of Arthur’s physical abuse, Crystal historically has been quick to assume the best of Arthur and ignore hints of his worse nature. By the time Steph’s pregnancy arc has begun Crystal is able to recognize Arthur as shitty, but throughout Steph’s childhood that’s just not the case. (Both drug use and a malfunctioning ‘lie detector’ as Steph puts it, seem to be to blame for this).
Batman Chronicles #22 / Secret Files 80 Page Special / Robin #111
Stephs subconscious doesn't have faith that Crystal has changed. Despite Crystal having progressed and become much more present and cognizant of the harm Arthur poses, Stephs subconscious is still wary. This is realistic. Maybe it's not fair to Crystal, but Steph can't help holding onto this fear, at least subconsciously. To be fair, it can’t have been over a year since Crystal was smiling at Arthur, seemingly accepting him back from prison soon before Steph dons the Spoiler costume for the first time. This breaks part of Steph’s counterargument to Tim in Robin #64 where she asserts she could raise her baby with the help of her mom. Despite all the progress Steph and Crystal have made, Steph still isn't able to fully trust Crystal with her baby, and her dream shows that.
2. Arthur Brown
Cluemaster appears, the subconscious fear of how he poisoned Stephs childhood leaking over to how she thinks about her baby's hypothetical childhood with her. Would her baby be safe from Arthur?
Steph knows very well that Arthur is free from jail and as dangerous as ever: between their encounter in Blunt Trauma where he tried to kill her, and the fact that he destroyed her and Crystals house, the physical threat of Arthur Brown is readily apparent.
Robin #54
But its not the physical harm that her father poses which the dream fixates on. As per usual for Steph, she seems much less scared of her father hurting her as she is frightened by the idea of his criminality as a symbol of her own wrongness.
Just like Steph believes her own self to be poisoned by her relation to Arthur she fears that her baby might be tainted the same way. Her fear isn't absolutely unfounded either. Arthur is free, and he's ransacked and destroyed Stephs home during Cataclysm. His recent violation and destruction of what should be a safe place, much like he barges in and disrupts Stephs peace in her dream, signify how Arthurs still has and would have this huge presence in Steph -- and by extension her baby's -- life.
So, Steph has two reasons which warn her against keeping her baby, two things she is afraid would give her baby the one thing she wants to avoid: it having the same shitty childhood as her. But not everything is the same as when she was a kid, right? Now she has allies, friends even, who are powerful and capable. Hell, Stephs a hero too! That means something, doesn't it?
3. The Heroes Arrive
Stephs subconscious seems to think so, at least to a degree. Steph isn't left alone to save her baby. As her panic mounts, the heroes appear just in time.
And just like that Steph is wearing her Spoiler costume, the symbol of her agency, the thing that allowed her to stand up to her father in the first place.
Vigilantism is therefore empowering, and the connections (albeit highly tenuous connections) Steph has made in the hero community are empowering also.
Steph has new factors, factors which weren't present in her own childhood which can step in, the situations are not actually identical, maybe she can keep her baby, maybe it will be safe.
Some of the heroes she conjures make a lot of sense, Steph is very close with Robin, he's supported her especially during her pregnancy and he's one of the last people she saw before entering her dream. She's had a positive encounter with Connor Hawke which clearly influenced her. Even her tenuous encounter with Huntress proved to Steph Helena was highly capable. I honestly don't know why Nightwing is there, they haven't met. And Batman. The Batman.
Notice Batman's dialogue. If it sounds familiar, that's because Steph said an almost identical line in the last issue, in that same moment Tim and her are discussing Steph keeping her baby.
Dream-Batman parrots the same language as Steph, the same sentiment, but not about Steph, about her baby. How much has really changed, then?
The heroes fight, but its to a standstill. The assorted heroes present fight the assorted villains that Arthur has brought with him, but Arthur himself is untouched, her baby is still in harms way. And Steph, stands there in the middle of it, horrified and still as Crystal laughs behind her.
Steph's subconscious decides its not enough. Theres so many of these heroes, sure, but they can't stop Arthur, can they? They couldn't when it was Steph in danger, when it was Steph who needed saving. It's no ones fault. But Steph knows.
Just like it always has: Steph knows it comes down to her.
4. Catch
Arthur throws her baby into the air, and we've arrived at the final moments of her dream. And so, the final question, the deciding moment. Can Steph rely on herself?
After spending the rest of her dream remaining uncharacteristically helpless and inactive, Steph finally leaps into action.
Let's hone in on that middle panel. It stands out, for good reason. Despite the rest of the dream taking place during the afternoon, with clear light in the sky and a cloudy purple hued sky, the sky in that second panel is pitch black and dotted with stars. And below the baby, there's this light purple grid.
It's not random, we're being shown a time and location we know. That's the exact roofing of Steph’s house, we're looking at Stephs rooftop, at night.
We've seen this time and location before, during Stephs pregnancy, way back in Robin #58, when Steph first questions whether or not she should keep her baby.
This is it, this is the moment. We saw Steph first question how she could give up her baby on this roof, and now, as her baby plummets into an identical scene, right before Stephanie wakes up, we're getting our answer.
But this isn't the only time we see this setting during Stephs pregnancy.
Secret Origins 80 Page Special
The second scene with this framing is a flashback, to a young Steph, sitting on the roof of her house alone, looking at the moon. The attached dialogue is Steph’s narration explaining how she used to dream that she’d see Batman some day. This is a scene about faith and hope. About dreams, about wanting to get saved.
So why do we see the same roof and sky again, for the third and final time during Steph’s pregnancy arc while her baby falls?
Stephanie’s dream sequence is a checklist of reasoning for why she can’t keep her baby. She is reflecting her own childhood onto the baby and she is concluding not enough has changed, she is suspecting her baby could very well be subject to the same circumstances.
And it culminates in this final moment. Crystal, while more present than ever is still not fully reliable in Steph's mind. Arthur is on the loose and as sadistic as ever. The heroes can show up, but they can’t save her baby, just like Batman couldn’t save Steph on that rooftop years and years ago. Just like then, it’s down to Steph on her own. Thats why when she lunges out for her baby, the baby is falling onto that rooftop. It’s both a reminder of the question Steph is stuck considering and an explanation for how she reaches her answer.
Because she can’t rely on anyone else, because she has to leap out, reach out, save her baby, and ultimately that look of horror as the baby falls isn’t a look of anticipation, it’s a look of utter and horrific acceptance. I don’t think Steph believes she reached her baby in time. I think Steph doesn’t think she can save her baby at all.
Steph is a very proactive character. It's strange to see her hesitate towards action, and extremely strange to see that when that action is saving someone from danger. But she's indecisive throughout her pregnancy, and she's helpless throughout her dream sequence until the very last second. Even donning the Spoiler costume doesn't help. She's helpless in this dream.
So, checklist gone through, conclusions drawn, Steph wakes up and makes the only decision she can, the decision which goes against her very nature: Stephanie lets go.
#also its v cool and good to overanalyze Steph’s costume at any given point and I rly like the idea of the white lenses of Steph’s mask vs#the black of her mask as an allusion to stars#sure what the hell
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Not me seeing the username "he@venpdf" & thinking it's a Horandog blog. 😭😭 I know it's my fault for assuming the blog name was a reference to Niall's song, Heaven... But for a moment, I really thought I'd found another Horandog to follow, lol. And this blog was actually recommended to me around the time Heaven was released, too. Oh well, I guess I gotta lower my expectations. 🤷♀
(Click on the image for better quality)
#i had to censor their username for obvious reasons 💀#not that my original posts get much attention anyway#but still#i hope this post does not breach containment & reach the wrong sorts of people 🤞🤞#🤞🤞#fingers crossed#heaven#niall horan#niall#niall james horan#the show#the show album#on a night like tonight#meltdown#never grow up#science#if you leave me#save my life#you could start a cult#must be love#and i apologize#to this user if they ever see this#but hopefully they won't lol#anyway stream the show y'all#the show by niall horan#njh#one direction#desiblr#desi teen#indian tumblr
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honestly i am immensly grateful my original art gets so much attention... like i know the power fanart has but, i was never able to experience being a fan of Media in that way like most ppl, my brain is autistically wired to only want to draw my own stuff! and even when i Want to draw fanart, i WILL treat those characters as my own and warp them in my vision, but thats very rare either way... long way to say thank u for loving my lil critters and guys :3
#inspired by some posts i saw where ppl struggle to get attention on theor OC posts#its like damn. thats my whole life#but even if i drew fanart its like those ppl who follow me from that wont be interested in original stuff that much anyway#so its a good thing overall#saturn says
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i don't think i'll ever get over how people treat kids that aren't good in school as worthless no matter what. "oh it can't be that bad" my guy idk how to tell you this but the last time i went to a normal high school the principal called me into his office to brag about how he failed me in all of my classes before the semester was even finished & i should quit while i'm ahead cuz i'm too stupid ("officially" diagnosed as such by a school counselor & a psychiatrist!!) to succeed. & this is considered normal
#''poor teachers!!'' yeah well at least they can fucking quit & go work somewhere else#''okay but times are different than when you went to school in the 1970's'' this was 2016 my guy. shut the fuck up#''well maybe you were a violent & severely misbehaving kid!'' i wasn't. i have ADHD & severe anxiety disorder & depression#my biggest crime was being too exhausted & dopamine deprived to do my homework#my dad talks about how he was treated in school & i'm like damn dude i went through the same exact shit#how is it that a majority of teachers & principals are still abusive power-tripping pieces of shit 60 years later#why haven't things changed#well actually the answer is simple & it's because they want disabled people to disappear#& if abled students that simply disagree with the way things are done get caught in the crossfire then that is acceptable#because anyone not fit to make billionaires a billion more dollars should just die!#anyways here are my original tags from that gravity falls post i just reblogged:#I know this is supposed to be an appreciation post but like. ''for being the ''dumb one'' he's surprisingly rational.'' seriously??#as ''the dumb'' but ''surprisingly rational'' one of my family this is THEE biggest misunderstanding & it drives me up the fucking wall#just because a person struggles in one area doesn't mean they're stupid & should be an irrational dumb dumb idiot baby holy fuckkk#sorry to OP but even when people try to ''appreciate'' stuff like this they can't help but throw in insults#simply because they genuinely believe that ''even though you're stupid you SURPRISINGLY act competent sometimes'' is a compliment#I'm less mad about this & more sad that this kind of shit is still so prevalent in 2024#both Stanley & Stanford are smart & competent & rational#they just show it in different ways & exceed in different (sometimes overlapping) subjects#this is normal for human beings but the big societal scam is that if you don't do it in the way Ford does then you're stupid & a failure#& being surprised that Stan is also smart & competent in his own ways is the biggest sing that you fucking fell for it dude#btw before i get @ ed for this. i WAS that kid#i was so much that kid the school actually diagnosed me with stupid & spiteful & i was told to quit while i was ahead (they failed me befor#obviously this is very personal for me but also i don't think people realize the language they use is on purpose & it's used specifically t#& it's still happening right now & that just. makes me wanna cry honestly#like why are people still surprised that people can specialize in something despite bad grades in school#you know. the thing we all know is literally rigged to either put you in jail or in a factory to make billionaires more money.#man sorry for the rant the original spirit of the post is super correct but like fuck HS grade-centric judging of people's entire character#Stan being able to defeat Bill is just not at all surprising if you were him or knew/know someone like him#or really paid any attention at all to the show while watching it
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not me plotting out 2 fics i can’t even update rn… truly got the gaalee/writing bug in a big way again 😭😭😭
#i’ve gotten a good chunk of plotting for blood on the branches done#and now im finally thinking about fill in the [___]#which has been entirely in limbo for ages#the first chapter needs a major edit but i really needed to actually plot before i could do that#anyways im working on an update for UR and am continuing to focus only on fics that have been donated to as far as posting goes#i may post something unrelated when i run out of fics to update#as a way to like repromote the donation campaigns#but that won’t be for a minute#i also need to update the original donation post#cause a lotta campaigns have had to get new links#and seham’s is now closed because she got too tired of trying to fundraise 💔#anyways i know ppl aren’t rlly paying much attention to my fics rn cause i ain’t been around but i hope as i post more that changes#cause it would be nice to get more donations for these campaigns#tryna not be too bummed at the lack of comments on the ballads last update but well im not doin great at that lol 🤷🏻♀️#just sucks to be like a halfway decent writer but too slow for ppl to like wanna come back to a fic
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@dillislazii #op what do you think abt#xue yang#like. would he also be hunt or the web? 👁️
I Love Xue Yang Immensely So Thank You For Asking
(Also while I have you, consider checking out the longer response I gave to the Eye/Hunt reblog of my original post that’s going around cos I actually still think Jin Guangyao and Nie Huaisang are of the Web and it gives some insight into how I assigned them!)
I actually think Xue Yang would be a really clear-cut example of a follower of the Desolation!
I get the impression that in meta the Hunt is sometimes assigned to people who just, like. Have goals, especially goals they’re extremely determined to achieve (especially if that involves killing someone), but I think the Hunt is more specific than that. It’s stated in canon that not many humans are of the Hunt because it’s particularly a fear about becoming prey in a very literally animalistic way. It’s about the physical chase and about predation. It’s one of the fears that is considered most “primal” - Daisy Tonner hunts people, often in ways that result in police brutality, because she is a cop and it’s her job to chase them down. Nie Mingjue hunts and slaughters his enemies, and typically does so in a straightforward fashion because he believes in chasing down those who have done wrong - just like he sank his teeth into his perception of Jin Guangyao’s flaws and would not let go or let up about them. Jiang Cheng during Wei Wuxian’s dead era actively, publicly, and doggedly pursued and hunted anybody who practiced demon cultivation. Etc.
Xue Yang is a violent murderer! But his whole thing isn’t chasing, it’s causing suffering. His life has been characterized by pain and loss, and he places what happened to him on such a pedestal that nobody else’s pain matters unless it’s a source of catharsis for him. If he was of the Hunt, he would have hunted down Chang C’ian alone (or as it were his heir) and killed that person. Instead, he chooses to enact as much destruction and suffering as he possibly can and slaughters the entire clan. He relishes in the pain he has paid forward unto the world. Then he does the same to Baixue Temple.
Perhaps that indicates that he is of the Slaughter, then. But he didn’t massacre Baixue Temple because he loves randomly-directed murder or because he thinks they deserved it. He did it specifically to hurt Song Lan. And murder is not what he does to Xiao Xingchen.
Instead, Xue Yang spends years systematically planning to destroy Xiao Xingchen’s will to live in the most painful way possible. He targets Xiao Xingchen’s desire to help people, his belief in justice, and forces him to commit acts specifically because those acts would viscerally horrify Xiao Xingchen if he knew he was committing them. This backfires! He falls in love and regrets what he’s done - but it’s not entirely because he hurt Xiao Xingchen, but because he has to face the consequences of his own feelings! Xiao Xingchen kills himself, and Xue Yang wants him back! And before he trips down that particular rabbit hole, the things he tricks Xiao Xingchen are cruel, creative, and specifically designed to hurt Xiao Xingchen as much as possible. Expecially when Song Lan finally finds them.
He was hurt, brutally and permanently, when he was little. And he turned that around and decided to hurt everyone else he thought deserved it - or sometimes even for fun - even more brutally and even more permanently, for as long as he could, because he thinks that the world deserves to suffer. He is, as Jude Perry says, “A reckoning; a surging tide of destruction and pain.”
#mdzs#xue yang#magnus archives shenanigans#mdzs meta#meta#text posts#slightly sad that my response didn't really get scene but What Can Ya Do#tbh I didn't expect the original post to get any attention so this is neat anyway!#fun fact xue yang's story with xxc originally made me uncomfortable in the same way that listening to the desolation episodes did#and I was SO SURE I would hate him because he was so cruel#joke's on me he and jgy are my favorite characters#also tangentially i think you could definitely argue the slaughter for nmj as well rather than the hunt#esp bc that is definitely where baxia is pulling him#but one of the things that tipped me to the hunt for him#is how much he dogs jgy about his decisions and morality
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old face, new look!
another character in my sister and I's story! actually a redesign of one of my sister's old ocs, lou. a lazy, fun-loving sort who enjoys annoying gibson. she lives under a bridge bc she can't be bothered to get a house lol.
#SO much has been changing in our story since i last talked about it here#i'm torn between just screaming about the story or keeping it under wraps...#ah well! my original story posts don't get much attention anyway lol#topharts#oc#ocs
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gonna go on a little schizo rant on main here we go
so i only REALLY thought about it just earlier while streaming, the content that does well online are mostly either minecraft twitch clips i edited for yt shorts, or remixes of songs, most especially from my FNF phase.
it got me thinking, i want to be known for my music, both remixes and originals, with gaming on the side, not the other way around. this semester break has become a productive week for me (even though i was sick during the weekend), and it gave me a chance to start streaming again and working on music more. this in turn probably lessened the drive to write??? idk, that's not what this is about.
i'm suddenly contemplating on switching up my yt content. instead of more music videos and visualizers, i start posting long-form minecraft videos, which are basically stream vods edited into a video that's less than an hour at most. i'll still probably make music, though, but only posting it to soundcloud without sharing it to yt.
i'm a little bit scared to make that change, though, because again, i want to be known for music. i still want to create and share music, as it is my passion along with videogames. i'm afraid that making this change will mean i have to put more time into editing 2-3+ hour long videos into something shorter, and i'll also eventually stop making music because of that.
not finishing music wips already happened because i picked up a writing hobby, only coming back to my music production roots thanks to Reignite...i'm afraid of that happening again.
tl;dr, minecraft content does really well on my yt and twitch channels, so i'm contemplating from transitioning from a yt musician to a mcytber.
idk what the point of this was, honestly, but i really did need to get this off of my mind 😓
#real talk#rant#hell. i posted an original song today#like with vocals and all#it only had 4 views until my dad shared it with his family#4 VIEWS.#my originals don't do so fucking well#this kinda sounds like i'm making music for clout#which i didn't mean to do but i think i do anyway#because i worked so hard on this. i don't even care if it's shit.#i want someone to feel something with my music the way i feel something listening to my fav artists#i finished. 2-3 wips this week. you mean to tell me that did sO MUCH WORSE THAN A MC SHORT????#i have like 690 subs and the average views i get are WAY LESS#i hate to sound like an attention seeker but validation that my talents/skills have some place in this world is what keeps me going#fUCK I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF MY BF SAW MY NEW VOCAL TRACK. I WROTE IT FOR HIM
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I am thinking very very hard abt the toy world guys and oh baby I love dropping in disturbing lore bits that are just sorta dripped into the actual plot and otherwise are not explained <3
#rat rambles#oc posting#I rly want to build this world in a way where the worldbuilding does exist and it does effect things but you still dont get to know abt it#and I especially rly want to hit this balance with the new choice lore Im cooking rn because its that sort of thing I think is more fucked#up the more that is left to be implied or completely untold#Im still figuring out what I want that balance to be though especially since I ultimately don't Need to tell basically anything#so its more so a matter of how much Im willing to risk putting on display for the sake of implying less relevant stuff#because its fun for me to know that the ripple of this event was far larger than any of the cast will ever know but idk if I want the#hypothetical reader to have that experience too or not and if so to what extent#because ofc I dont want to make it too obvious what this ripple looks like and what it may have impacted#and there is smth fucked up in its own right if I Did just fully keep all that to myself#and this does matter because I am toying around with the idea of committing a bit harder to this story and making it a thing one day#nothing is guaranteed but I do really Really like the story Ive been building here and I think it'd be fun to make it real someday#not anytime soon but one day maybe#maybe I could use it as my next step after spiraling upwards? we'll see.#speaking of spiraling upwards I'm planning on rescripting some stuff and continuing to work on the script soon#I am starting to have a clearer vision of what I want to do for the first chunk of the story#Im also deciding wether I keep the original prologue or not but Ill keep procrastinating on that one for a bit I think#the current prologue is intentionally kind of irrelevant to the rest of the plot but Im starting to doubt myself on if it's a good choice#Ill probably end up reworking it at least a little bit though if only to better establish the main plot by a bit#because its Technically kind of relevant the pov just isnt paying attention to the relevant parts#so maybe I can have her pay a smidge more attention for like a page or two and then call it good#anyways this does mean I will have to give the toy story a real name unfortunately :/#sighhhh. I hate naming stories soooo much.#maybe I can just pop open a random word generator and see what calls out to me
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Laundry is done for now. We'll see if any writing actually gets done.
#I really want to finish the rewrite of this chapter that I'm working on#there's only about half of a typed page left but that's at least a page handwritten out#something that has passed through my mind the last couple of days is to start typing up the beginning of Tales Of A Frozen Sailor#and to possibly start posting it on AO3 as a way to try and encourage myself to actually get this rewrite done#because there's still so much more that needs to be written and at this point I'm getting to the spot where my confidence is waining#about finishing this at all#if I had outward pressure of knowing people are waiting for updates it might give me some accountability#but at the same time I had intended to have it all finished before posting this time#especially since at this point I'm not actually sure if what I've currently written is going to remain in this exact order#I might play around a little with some of the chapter placement#but it's still too early for that as I'm not even really half way through the rewrite#especially since there are certain parts that I'm intending on expanding hopefully#also I fear posting it because I have a feeling I know what will happen#there might be some little interest in the beginning but long before the end any interest that might be there will dwindle#and I'll never know what people think of the whole thing#as that's always been the case for me and pretty much all of my writing#which is fine. it's just disheartening as much as I expect it at this point#I'm just not one who gets a lot of attention for my writing#don't mind me I'm just getting in my head about the comparison game#I mostly write for myself but it would be nice for there to be at least one or two others who were as excited about my writing as me#and that's not to say that there wasn't originally excitement about Tales Of A Frozen Sailor#because there definitely and I'm ever so thankful for those who did follow until where I ended it#anyways I should be writing story not complaining about the potential of the story not being read and commented on#tales of a frozen sailor#musing on tales of a frozen sailor
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":')))))))) you realise that gen AI is available to everyone though right??? Queer creators can use it just as much as anyone else??? I just don't understand this post... It really feels like a cheap way to get on the 'AI Bad's bandwagon, and coming from such a thoughtful and insightful creator that's incredibly disappointing... It's okay to not comment on subjects you're not an expert in y'know...?"
Y'all know the drill, I am replying to this publicly but that is not an invitation to send any negative messages to the person I am replying to.
Anyways, let me start by saying that the original context of the post you're replying to is discussing an event where a queer org used generative AI to steal an interview with Keri Hulme. So let's start there. To be clear I don't even know if the original interviewer was queer so let's put the identities of stealer and stolen from to the side. I want to explain the harm done in this example specifically and I hope this is illustrative of what harm generative AI can (and does) do.
The original place I saw generative AI was a queer org that explicitly says they are using generative AI "for good", and as a way to bring more queer history to light. So let's take them at their word, and assume they are not out to cause harm. This is the best example of generative AI that I can imagine, so I hope that makes it clear that I am not coming at this issue from bad faith in any way.
Here is the harm they are causing:
Decontextualizing and rephrasing an interview: I am not going to pretend that I am an expert in academic best practices, but I do believe one thing, if a person is speaking on their own identity and lived experience, it is always much better to directly quote than it is to rephrase. As I read this source, I initially didn't know that it was AI, and I was already upset. An interview that is widely available on the internet with no pay wall, was poorly sourced and made more vague than it was in the initial text. By creating one degree of seperation between the original words of A WRITER (whose literal job was largely based in choosing the right words to describe experiences they had) harm is already done. It makes vague what was once clear, and removes Keri Hulme's voice from her own narrative.
The original interviewer is not paid, or given proper recognition: I get it, sometimes just copy pasting an interview doesn't feel transformative enough, but something that one would learn if they worked in the queer history field and weren't a literal robot rehashing what has already been said, is that not everything needs to be transformed. In those cases, we give credit to the person who said the original words (in this case Keri Hulme), and the interviewer who facillitated the conversation (in this case Shelley Bridgeman). This case (again a best case scenario), takes the attention and byline away from the original interviewer and gives it to an AI.
The original publisher of this story is deinsentivised from paying interviewers in the future: The original publisher of this interview has ads on their website. As a person who also has ads on their website, taking an article like this and rephrasing it for no good reason (the orginal word count was not prohibitive and the rephrasing did not make it more readable), takes money from the publisher. It's pennies, but it's also removing numbers could have been used to justify further interviews with asexual people and archiving of asexual stories. The org that stole from this publication does not interview people themselves so the money and numbers that could have gone to continue to preserve asexual stories goes to stealing them instead.
These are just the active harms that I saw in this specific case. As you said, I am not an expert in generative AI, and will not be speaking as if I am. But I will say that asking me not to speak out on active harm that is being caused in queer history spaces, is disrespectful to my many years in this field.
To illustrate this even clearer: if you were a patron, you would know I recently took down an old article. I have been rereading and editing our backlist of articles, and I found one that no longer fit my standards of sourcing. My standards had recently raised due to a video made by HBomberguy about someone in the queer history space who was stealing from other creators. I watched this video not as a work project, but because I watch most of HBomberguys videos, and this one made me think more critically about sourcing. An AI can't do that. All an AI has is what has been inputted, and it is right now impossible to input every available peice of information about ethics into an AI and get a coherent ethical basis on which it will function.
It is a distinctly human trait to absorb information and change in that way. AI can rephrase information that already exists, steal it, recontextualize it even, but it cannot create something altogether new.
Do I believe that there one day might be an ethical use for Generative AI? Maybe. Do I believe that coming into a queer history space, stealing the words of a Maori asexual author, rephrasing them, and giving the original interviewer and publication no form of compensation for their work, is accomplishing that? No.
On a more personal note: I am coming at this issue with a bias. As a queer history creator, I do not want AI in my space, because it is literally damaging to my financial prospects. It has been like pulling teeth to try and get patrons in the current state of the global economy. I don't blame anyone from that, but I feel very disrespected that I am being asked to compete with a machine now. Not only that, but I am being asked to shut up and be fine with it? No, absolutely not. I cannot and will not stay quiet as space that I have fought tooth and nail to create in mainstream discussions is taken and given to AI.
AI was not supporting me when I was sent gore to try and scare me off of discussing queer history. A person did that. AI was not there to tell me I had written too many sad stories, and I needed some happy endings to remind myself of the good in the world. A person did that. AI was not there when I was being harrassed for supporting and including asexual stories on my website. A person did that.
And after all that, I am being asked to lie down and take it when my ability to pay the people who supported me in those ways, is being threatened. Nope. Not going to happen.
An AI doesn't have to make rent. An AI doesn't understand what it feels like to have to stop holding their wife's hand in public. An AI didn't get calls from people needing comfort in reaction to the election. Pay me for my work, and get this AI nonsense out of my face.
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havent said anything because im busy with artfighting but everyone giving that one drawing i did like 20 times more notes than my art usually gets is very sexy
#seriously a drawing ive actually put effort into and isnt a shitpost NEVER gets this much attention#and even though most of them are likes i appreciate it anyway#whats my original post tag i forgot#posts#i guess
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Lessons in Love
(Or why Enzo should be banned from advanced potion making)
Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw Reader
Summary: Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.
word count: 3.3k
©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.
A deep sigh escapes your lips as you walk purposefully through the empty halls of the castle. You loved Enzo. Really, you did. But how that bastard had managed to squeeze enough O.W.Ls out of his arse to get into advanced potion making was absolutely beyond you.
It’s not that you thought your childhood best friend was dumb per se. You simply thought his talents lay elsewhere. Like in herbology. Or anywhere really where adding a pinch too much powdered moonstone didn’t result in a glittery pink potion exploding all over the front of your robes. This never would have happened of course, if your usual, equally talented, potions partner, Theodore Nott, had actually bothered to show up, but god only knew where that boy had wandered off to.
Walking into classes earlier that day you had been giddy with excitement. While potions may not have been Enzo’s forte, it was most definitely yours and advanced potions was finally giving you the challenge you had been craving. Amortentia, your professor had said, is the strongest love potion in the world, thereby making it exceptionally difficult to brew. You already knew this of course as it had all been detailed in the days readings. Not only would it make someone obsessively in love, but it also had an addictive scent, changing to fit what one was most attracted to. Now that was all well and good until one was covered in it.
Originally, you figured that all would be fine. Enzo profusely apologized, quickly following up with a joke about how “at least you’ll smell nice for once.” But oh how right he’d been. It started with students accidentally bumping into you in the corridor as you went from class to class as they subconsciously leaned in to follow the alluring scent. A minor inconvenience you thought. (Although you did have to choose to ignore that third year almost getting impaled on a statue’s sword because he wasn’t paying attention after you passed.)
But then Cho and Marietta couldn’t stop leaning in to get a whiff of the scent all throughout the start of charms, causing Flitwick to continuously shoot concerned glances at the three of you. You eventually caved, moving quickly and silently to the back of the class room where Enzo was sat with the rest of the Slytherins. As soon as he saw you making your way over, he leaned over, whispering something in Daphne’s ear beside him. She gives you a quick look of knowing pity before moving into the empty seats usually claimed by Theodore and Matteo who were, unsurprisingly, still no where to be found.
“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,” Enzo mumbles, at least having the decency to look embarrassed as you plop into the seat beside him.
“This is horrible! I did not need to know that Marietta’s amortentia smells like bloody Cormac McLaggen or whatever his name is,” you hiss in response.
Enzo lets out a quiet chuckle, sneaking a quick glance at your house mate.
“Hey,” he whispers after a moment, “What do you smell anyway? You must be going mad having that stuff all over you.”
You shoot a glare at your friend. You had a sinking feeling he already knew, considering he had been poking fun at you for weeks. You shudder remembering all those disgusting kissy faces Enzo had been making at you from across the library just last week. Bloody bastard was fishing for confirmation. Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll simply go away you think to yourself. Enzo however, takes your silence as an admission of guilt, a grin spreading across his face.
“I knew it. So tell me y/n, what does dear Theodore Nott smell like? Cigarette smoke? Hippogriff dung?” He snickers.
“He is my best friend, Lorenzo,” you whisper, giving the boy beside you another withering glare.
Enzo’s face falls at this.
“I’m your best friend.” He grumbles.
“I don’t know why. You’re mean to me,” you reply with exasperation.
He immediately perks up again at this, giving you a slight nudge.
“So I’m right? You do like Theo?” He asks excitedly.
“Enzo, I will avada you, and make it look like an accident,” you hiss in response.
“Come on, y/n, I’m your best friend, you have to tell me these things,” he pouts.
“Oh really? Like how you have to tell me about how you’re probably smelling Daphne’s shampoo right now? Or is it her lavender perfume?” You ask innocently, batting your lashes.
Enzo goes beet red at this, gesturing wildly at you to lower your voice.
“Hush woman! She’s right there!” He hisses.
You say nothing, only giving him a triumphant grin before turning back to Flitwick to try to salvage what few notes you’d been able to take down that lesson.
The final straw occurred during ancient runes when poor, unsuspecting Hermione sat down behind you and asked with a look of bewilderment if you had been showered with Draco’s cologne that morning. Her look of absolute horror only grew as you told her of your distressing situation. You thought she might faint when she realized that Draco had been within earshot and now had a shit eating grin on his face. With a sigh of defeat, you give Hermione an apologetic smile before deciding it was time to turn in the white flag of defeat.
You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you finally come to a stop outside your common room door. You then frown, realizing you had in fact, made it to your common room door.
“What makes a raven like a writing desk?” The metallic voice of the Ravenclaw common room door asks, springing to life.
This putrid, skanky little-
“You wouldn’t want me to shove either of them up your ars-“
A low whistle catches your attention before you’re able to finish cursing out your common room’s door thoroughly.
“Whoa there feisty, let the eagle be,” Theo’s voice laughs as he steps into view.
The strong scent of roasted coffee beans and smoke that had been burning your nostrils all day hits you once again like a ton of bricks. Giving the eagle another withering glare, you turn your full attention to the looming threat approaching. You would sooner throw yourself off of the astronomy tower than let Theo know that your amortentia smelled like him. Someone had to keep the boy’s bloody ego in check.
“Full offense Theodore, I’ve had a horrendously awful day today, and I really don’t have time for whatever nonsense you’re about to start.” You say with a roll of your eyes as you cross your arms at the boy in front of you.
Theo laughs again, mirroring your movements as he leans against one of the pillars lining the halls.
“Poor principessa. Have a hard day in classes without me?” He asks with a smirk.
You scowl in response. It didn’t help that you had, in fact, missed the brunette’s comforting, albeit annoying, presence all day, but you weren’t about to admit that.
“Now that you mention it, I didn’t even realize you were missing. What snake hole did you slither off to today?” You ask, the lie sliding easily off your lips.
Theo cocks as eyebrow at that but leaves it be.
“Matteo wanted to ditch, had to baby sit. Make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble. You know how it goes,” Theo replied shrugging his shoulders. “And what’s a pretty little witch like yourself doing skiving off class?”
Theo takes another step forward.
“Don’t come closer!” You yelp before you can stop yourself. You had no interest knowing what Theo would smell if he got close enough. He frowns at you however.
“And why not?” He challenges, taking another step towards you. This boy really did not take well to being told what to do.
“I- I smell. Really bad. Had to leave class, I just- ya know, smelled, so bad” You splutter, mentally kicking yourself. Who says that in front of the guy they like? Why were you like this?
Theo’s thick brows shoot up at your declaration before he takes a final large step towards you and leans in, pressing his hand against your forehead before moving it down to feel your cheek.
“Y/n are you ill? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey? I can walk you there if you’d like.” He says, any bit of snark his voice previously held long gone.
“I’m fine Theodore, really.” you say, batting his hand away.
“Are you sure?” He asks, looking at you disbelievingly.
He leans in again and takes in a whiff of your scent and you immediately tense, freezing where you are. God damn it. His brows furrow.
“Y/n, you smell perfectly normal, maybe a bit stronger than usual, but definitely not bad.” He says, looking even more confused.
Before you’re able to fully process the words that just came out of Theo’s mouth, Enzo and Pansy come barreling down the hall towards the two of you in a fit of giggles.
“Y/n! y/n, you know I’m sorry, really I am, but if dousing you in amortentia is all it takes to get Draco and Granger to make complete fools of themselves in front of each other, I’d do it again!” Enzo exclaims between breathy laughs. “You haven’t seen ferret boy run past, by chance, by the way have you?
“Sorry, amor-what now?” Theo asks, blinking as he purses his lips.
You look between the three of your friends in alarm, praying no one mentioned anything after Theo had just announced that you smelled perfectly normal to him.
“Oh, you’re going to wish you were there! After you left, Draco was so pleased with himself. Looked like a kid on Christmas. Kept trying to flirt with Hermione until she finally sent a flock of doves to run him out of the classroom! Professor wasn’t too happy bout that one. Let us go early to find the blonde loon,” Enzo says, completely ignoring Theo’s question.
“I’m sorry, amor-WHAT?” Theo asks again, louder this time.
You feel yourself cringe.
“Amortentia.” Pansy snorts. “Do try and keep up Teddy.”
“This is what you get for always skiving off class with Matteo,” Enzo adds, nodding at the boy as if he were his disappointed mother.
“Mhmm. Enzo totally floozied over y/n’s potion this morning. Blew it up all over her and she’s been having people wander up to her to take a sniff all day.” Pansy tells him with a sniff.
Theo blinks again before slowly meeting your eyes as what he said only moments earlier begins to sink in. Pansy, ever the cunning witch, was lightening quick to catch on.
“Speaking of which, I am suddenly so interested in what exactly it is that you smell, dearest Teddy,” Pansy says as her eyes flicker between the two of you, a mischievous grin growing on her face.
Theo scowls at the nickname.
“Campfire.”
“Old parchment.” You say in unison.
Pansy smirks.
“Do you smell that Enzo?” She asks, making a show of sniffing the air around her. “I think I smell- a liar. Or two.”
Enzo only snickers as he eyes the both of you up. He knew exactly what you had been smelling all day and you begin to feel panic rise up in your chest. You send a menacing glare his way, daring him to open his mouth.
“Come on Pans, I don’t think Draco and Granger are the only ones who’ll be chatting up tonight,” he says finally.
Glaring at the pair’s disappearing backs, you once again turn slowly back to the problem at hand.
“Soo,” Theo starts at the same time you blurt out,
“This is entirely your fault.”
Theo’s mouth drops open, and he has the audacity to look offended.
“How do you figure mi amore?” He asks.
“You’re supposed to be my partner in potions, but you weren’t there today, so I had to work with,” you shudder, “Enzo.”
Rolling his eyes at your dramatics and giving you a small smile, Theo lets himself relax, leaning on the wall as he towers over you.
“Enzo isn’t so bad,” he says, slowly bringing a hand up to rest on your waist, gently moving you towards him. You pretend not to notice, taking a small, nervous step forward.
“He singed off Matteo’s eyebrows last year. The year before that, he didn’t realize there was a difference between fire flower and fired flour, and his potion melted through the floor. I heard a Puff call him Slytherin’s Seamus,” you retort. “Do you realize how bad you have to be at something to get made fun of by a Hufflepuff?” He snorts at that, cocking his head in agreement.
“Well I’m sorry alright? I’ll make it up to you.”
“You’ll have to. I have to go in again to remake the potion. Don’t want that bad mark on my grade.”
Theo only hums at this, as you’re finally standing nose to chest with him, forcing you to tilt your head up to still see his face.
“You really do smell nice,” he murmurs, pressing his nose lightly into your hair.
You make a face before nuzzling into his chest to hide the redness growing on your cheeks.
“I’m not talking about this in public. I simply refuse,” you say, trying to melt into him from pure embarrassment.
Theo looks down at you with a devilishly handsome grin before turning back to your long forgotten common room door.
“Hey, open up. She technically answered your little riddle earlier,” he tells the door.
The eagle grumbles something unintelligible as it starts to life again.
“I can always melt you down. I’m sure you’d make a great piss pot,” Theo threatens, going to pull out his wand.
The door swings open rather violently and you’re pretty sure you can hear a rather colorful string of curses come out of the eagle’s beak as you make your way inside. Having been there a thousand times before, Theo easily leads you to your shared, but thankfully empty, dorm room, closing the door behind you.
“You really don’t get along with that eagle, do you principessa?” He asks, throwing his shoes off and making himself comfortable on your bed like he usually did.
“Like you’re any better. You just threatened to turn it into a chamber pot,” you retort, falling easily back into your usual banter. This was fine. This was safe.
Theo only raises a brow at you.
“The blasted door is still mad at me for making a ur mum joke when it asked me if a chicken came before the egg in front of a bunch of second years.” You admit, letting your arms fall to your side.
Theo lets out a loud laugh at that shaking his head and extending his arm for you. You walk carefully towards the bed before hesitantly accepting his invitation. It’s not that cuddling with Theo was something unfamiliar to you, as much as you were hyper aware of the slightly awkward tension between the two of you that wasn’t usually there. You slide your shoes off as well before curling up next to him and laying your head on his chest. The two of you lay in silence and you slowly let your eyelids flutter shut, lost in the feeling of Theo’s chest rising and falling.
“You know. You still haven’t told me what your amortentia smells like,” Theo says, finally breaking the silence as he gently brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.
“Take a wild fucking guess,” you murmur, refusing to open your eyes and determined to get further lost in his warm touch.
He only hums in response, continuing to comb his fingers through the soft locks of hair.
“You know when Enzo asked me if I smelled you today, he thought you’d smell like hippogriff dung,” you say eventually.
“Fucking tosser. What did that git smell? Wild lavender?”
“And Daphne’s shampoo.”
You feel Theo snort as if he expected no less of your ever romantic best friend. Silence once again rolls over the both of you as you absentmindedly play with the edge of his shirt, rolling the soft fabric between your fingers nervously. The quiet begins to feel suffocating, so you open your mouth to speak, but Theo beats you to it.
“Champagne. And that perfume you always use. With the little white flowers. Lilies of the valley, right?” Theo says.
You open your eyes to look at him in confusion.
“That’s what you smell like.” He says, carefully running his hand down your spine, sending a shiver through you.
“I smell roasted coffee. And smoke. Not the fire-y kind though. The kind that sticks to your clothes cause you refuse to quit smoking.” You respond, looking into his eyes warily for his reaction.
Theo only smirks in response, a cocky grin spreading across his face.
“Aw mi amore, I’m what you’re most attracted to?” He asks, the teasing bait evident in his voice.
You feel heat rise to your cheeks as Theo gazed intently down at you in his arms.
“Shut up Theodore. You sure know how to ruin a moment,” you say, once again burying your face in a chest.
You feel his chest rumble with laughter before his hand snakes it way up to your chin, tilting your head up and capturing your lips with his. His lips are softer than you imagined as he moves them gently against yours. You let a soft gasp escape and Theo pulls you closer, gripping your waste tightly, and shifting you on top of him, deepening the kiss until you’re both left gasping for air.
“Was that more of what you had in mind amore?” He asks with an innocent smile, looking up at you with what you could only describe as his best baby seal eyes.
“I mean, you were definitely significantly more shirtless when I imagined it, but I can settle.” You joke.
Theo’s eyes darken however, and he lifts you as if you weigh nothing, flipping you over so that he now hovered above you, your back pinned against the bed beneath you. With one swift movement, Theo pulls his shirt up and over his head before lowering himself back down, his chest now pressed against yours.
“Better?”
You can’t help but laugh at the boy’s determination as your eyes shamelessly take in the lean muscle and tanned skin that was current above you.
“Theodore, as much as I enjoy this, you have to put your clothes on. Cho or Marietta could walk in at any time,” you tell him as you begin to make soft circles across his waist line with your thumbs, admiring the boy in front of you.
“Mm. You mouth is saying one thing, but these,” he says, placing his hands over yours, “are saying something else entirely.”
You roll your eyes, pulling your hands out from under his and handing him his discarded shirt.
“One kiss?” He asks, looking at the shirt as if it had mortally offended him.
“One kiss.”
He leans down, once again capturing your lips with his, but with more intensity this time. You feel one of his hands brush your waist as his thumb pushes up under your shirt, the rest of his hand following soon after, gripping tightly at the warm skin beneath. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip, and he takes it as an invitation to let his tongue explore the rest of your mouth.
An awkward cough shakes you from the haze and you look up, over Theo’s shoulder to see Cho standing guiltily in the doorway.
“Sorry,” she says, looking literally anywhere but you and the shirtless boy above you. “Bad time?”
You cover your eyes in embarrassment, feeling heat once again rush to your cheeks.
“What did I tell you!” You groan, letting your head fall back onto your mound of pillows. Meanwhile Theo has a much too self satisfied grin across his face.
#harry potter universe#harry potter#slytherin boys#slytherin#ravenclaw#lorenzo berkshire#theodore nott#draco malfoy#matteo riddle#daphne greengrass#pansy parkinson#fanfic#harry potter fanfiction#theodore nott x reader#how do you write in 2nd person#theo nott#theo nott x reader#theo nott x y/n#theodore nott x y/n
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" Arranged Friendship "
: Male Reader
Summary: How would Luka react once he found out he had been set up with an arranged relationship with someone.
That said person was, You, who's almost as popular as Luka himself. Will he grow to like him in the future?
Warnings: Luka is a warning
himself,possessiveness,obsession, threat s, blackmail.
Requested/Not requested
At first he didn't like this idea at all, but once he realized that the fanbase will like the idea he decided to go with the plan. And so his owner scheduled a meet up with your owner along with you. The day came and you had met eachother.
Both of you already knew who you two were already because of your reputations in Alien Stage.
But he still decided to introduce himself anyways, putting up a smile and a demeanor that was welcoming but his aura said otherwise.
You didn't mind, greeting him with the same enthusiasm with no other malicious aura. The two aliens had a discussion with eachother about the arranged friendship. Luka's owner stated that this would make a huge impact towards the fanbase, bringing more popularity and secureness for the two of you.
I mean two well known singers having a collaboration and potential relationship with eachother? The fanbase will increase their likability towards the two. Luka the well known
"Prince" having a close relationship with you, specified to be a real life Siren because of how you enchant your opponents. It will surely bring alot of fans cheering and bring more support.
Both of their owners aareed with the plan andsigned a contract. They left the room to either talk more about the Collab while the two of you spend some times with each other. Once they fully left the room and closed the door, Luka resorted his face into the original calm and collected look.
"I only agreed to this so that my popularity will grow, we'll only be acquaintances nothing more." He stated sternly, obviously he did not want this arranged friendship to happen but it will help him big time. At first he expected a disappointed and an upset look from you, but you were still smiling.
"Of course! I expect nothing more than that, I won't force you to do stuff you don't wanna do.
But we still have to convince the public about our 'relationship. But I can tone it down to your comfortability!" You stated in your cheery voice, he was a bit taken back by your upbeat personality despite his strict and straightforward statement.
He looked away before humming in agreement.
You were an interesting little thing, as much as he hated to admit. He wanted to know more about you. Your reputation your status,and what his and your fans think of you. Perhaps he can find some dirt on you that he can use against if you ever step out of line.
He tried but couldn't find any dirt on you suprisingly. You were almost as popular as him and yet you barely had any haters or rumours about you. Sometimes he might even think your owner had payed someone to delete posts that would tarnish your reputation. Because he seriously could not find any.
The fans also took the announcement really well.
Some obsessive fans, mostly Luka's, did not take it well and gave death threats to you. Online only because they're scared jealous bitches.
You paid no attention to the negative reactions from.. those kind of fans--and focused on convincing the fanbase that the relationship was real.
Luka was not really a fan of people getting into his personal space. But he did like getting into people's personal space. In random moments when you're busy, he would randomly walk up to you, literally put his face close to yours to the point your noses are touching, just to say hello then walk away. leaving you there with a confused expression.
"This is [Name]! Name love his personal space."
"This is Luka! Luka also loves [Name]'s personal space."
During fan meet ups, the place is usually verycrowded. You always put a hand on his shoulder or waist just in case it gets too crowdy. The first time you did it, he flinched; but didn't exactly pulled or slapped hand away. For the entertainment you would often put your hand on his waist even though the place isn't crowded.
The fans love it.
During interviews, you would always hold his hand in which he finds odd. Whenever you answered a question in the interview you would play with his fingers. Or if he was the one answering, you could occasionally squeeze it for encouragement.
Throughout the "relationship" his owner mentioned how you were always the one engaging with physical affection. In order to convince the public, he'll need to initiate it too.
He just rolled his eyes and lazily agreed before walking away. The first time he initiated it was during one of your "dates" You were busy coming up a song to sing when he unexpectedly held your hand and leaned on you without saying anything.
You just squeeze his hand as anacknowledgement before continuing to come up with your song. After that interaction he started to become more and more affectionate.
Occasionally giving hugs, all kind of hugs really. Back hugs,side hugs, waist hugs whatever the variety. You would always return them two times the warmth. Sometimes he thinks your feelings were real or that youre maybe a good actor.
You guys know those ship edits on tiktok? The aliens would totally make them. You two would always watch it with amusement, sometimes amazed by some of their editing skills. You would always like each single edit.
Despite all the dates,affection,and loving interactions. At the end of the day he would always remind you that this was all for the public entertainment and to get more attention from the fans. On bad days, he would say rather hurtful things.
"Don't mistaken my affection to you as a real thing, none of it contain real feelings."
"Don't let it get to your head, this is nothing more than pure entertainment."
"This is just a key for more survival during Alien
Stage performance."
"We're just acquaintance, nothing more."
All what he said did hurt, a lot. But it was also true, he has to remind you that none of it was real. But at the same time you wished he didn't say those things to you, the least he could do is not remind you. You didn't sayanything, only nodding and agreeing to what he says despite the hurtful impact it had given you.
Haha, maybe you really are a masochist.
Currently you and Luka were doing a Collab performance forc-suggested by your owners for the fans. Luka as always, caught most of the fan's attention. You didn't really mind or find it upsetting, I mean he's much popular and talented than you so it was expected. You guys were down with the last line, the original plan was that the two of you were just gonna look at eachother in a loving way. But he had other plans..
While you two were singing the last line, he went even closer. You were unfazed by this, you had gotten used to him being so close to your face already. But what he did next caught you off guard..
He kissed you.
No not on the cheek or forehead. On the lips.
The cheers grew louder, the music had already stopped. But you were only focused on the feeling of his soft lips kissing yours. By then he had already pulled away, you can't help but linger more. stopped. He just smiled and looked at you with such fondness, but you already knew his kiss meant nothing to him.
After the performance you two went backstage, switching personalities. He always turned cold whenever you two weren't in public. His eyes held nothing but emptiness and disgust. You expected this but why does it still hurt? And as usual he always remind you in the end.
"The kiss meant nothing." He spat out, it made your heart ache. You hated to admit this but you grew feelings as the relationship went on. You couldn't control it really, Luka had always been a great actor. His charismatic and enthusiastic persona when he's in public, the way he's so affectionate with you and the way he talks so fondly as if he really were Inlove with you.
You couldn't help but hope he felt the same thing. It was starting to hurt so maybe letting this feeling go was for the best.
It was another start of a new season of alien stage. And it looks like your performance is the first, how lovely. You didn't really like joining Alien Stage, you never really liked seeing your opponents die. Why should someone die just because they weren't as good as their opponent. But you can't say anything about it, a sad reality.
So you always tried singing your best, constantly making your opponent feel comfortable and make them sing for fun instead of singing because they wanna live. You wanted their last moments to feel comfortable and fun rather than scared.
It's what gave you your well known title "The Siren". Many documents and news stated that you would often enchant your opponents by using your voice. Brainwashing them so that they'll lose. That was not the truth, you could tell that your past opponents enjoyed singing with you. Happy that they were able to sing with joy and not out of pressure. But you could careless about what the media thought of you. You had to practice for the performance.
Luka didn't know what to feel about you. He had already stated before that he did not have any feelings for you. You were nothing more than a mere acquaintance. But ever since this relationship had started, he started to feel more possessive about you. He always hated how you always smile to other people or aliens. The same smile you give to him, wasn't he supposed to be the only one receiving that smile?
He always hated when you give other fans affection too, whether it be a handshake or a pat on the head. He would always put his arm around yours and pull you away from them. Silently giving your fans a glare everytime they get too close. He always looked smug whenever you out your hand on his waist infront of your fans.
Throughout the relationship he started to take note of things your like,your favorites,and the type of music you like. Heck he might even know things about yourself you didn't even know off. He knows more about you. You would always try and point out the things he do but he always dismiss it by saying it could tarnish the view of the relationship.
Hm..now that he thinks of it he never really saw one of your performances with your opponents. He has heard alien's opinions and views about your performances but never really tried watching one. Maybe he should watch your performance tomorrow..
You were a bit shocked to see Luka sitting on one of the chairs in the backstage, as if he was waiting for you.
"Luka? What are you doing here, I thought you were gonna practice." You asked walking towards him, maintaining a distance from him. He silently took note of how further the distance than it normally is.
"Practicing would just bore me, I already know I'll win the round anyway." He responded lazily, you sweatdrop a bit but he wasn't exactly wrong. He can win matches without trying..
"I see but that doesn't exactly answer my question, what are you doing here?" You asked once more.
"I came to watch your performance. Is that a problem?" He asked, you quickly stummered ago dismiss that idea.
"N-no, not all!" You answered quickly "I just-this is just unexpecting since you never usually watch my performance.."
"Would it be so bad to watch my lover's performance?" He teased, getting closer to you. You subconsciously stepped back.
"Haha I appreciate what you're doing but you don't have to try so hard to convince the audience we're actual liver, I think we already fooled them.." You responded, he didn't exactly know what he felt just now but he did not like it. It felt like his heart disease had gotten worse when you said those words, but alas he was too prideful to say anything.
"I know, but can't hurt to be more cautious right?" He smiled sweetly but his aura gave off a malicious intention. You just nodded and looked away from him.
"Ah, I have to go. The performance will be in a few minutes." You quickly grabbed your mic and walked to the door "I'll see you after the performance."
He stood there silently, you were acting off than your usual self. Whenever he mentions about you two being lovers you would get flustered, covering your face in hopes it will hide your blush. It did but you didn't know that your ears turn red too, haha how cute. Either way the way you acted just now was weird. You looked awkward and stiff.
He just sighed and walked out of the door to the reserved VIP seats to watch your performance, he'd rather watch it in real life rather than those holograms.
Luka sat on his seat while waiting for the round to start. His owner had bought him a lightstick from your company's merchandise of you, saying he should use it to cheer you on. He didn't need that useless thing, he already knows you'll will this round effortlessly. He snapped out of his thoughts when the lights finally came on, the spotlight shining your opponent.
As always the opponent looks scared and pressured, their voice cracking a bit as they song. It seems like they know their fate in this round, that's good. But when it was your turn, the crowd went wild as the spotlight went to you. Ah..the poor opponent, they must feel so embarassed and inferior now.
But the next thing you did really made him almost break the lightstick in his hand due to how hard he gripped it. You decided to hold their hand and encouraged them to sing. Eventually they did, their voice wasn't cracking anymore,they weren't frowning and they looked like they were enjoying the performance.
You were dancing with them,you were smiling with them,you looked at them with fondness, as if they were your lover. The aliens around him silently moved away because of his malicious aura. They could've sworn they saw a deadly glint in his eyes just now.
The performance came to an end, the collar on the opponent's neck soon blew up, killing them. He felt satisfaction travel through his veins as he watched your opponents blood stain the stage. But he didn't exactly like how you looked sad as they died. Shouldn't you be happy? That you won and survived. Why are you feeling pity for a low life human that was lower than your status.
Soon you were led to the backstage by the robotic guards. He stood up suddenly, making the aliens flinch and back away. He paid no attention to them and focused on going to the backstage. He wanted to know what caused him to feel so angry by what happened.
He was expecting you at the backstage room but he saw you standing in the hallway, looking at something on your hand. He silently walked towards you and got on his tippy toes to whisper in your ear.
"Boo~" he whispered, you gripped the object in your hand and took a step back. You sighed knowing it was just Luka and not some crazy fan that got through security.
"Luka! It's just you, thank goodness.." You sighed in relief, hand still gripping the object. He looked at your fists and questioned you.
"What's in your hand?" He asked, you blinked before opening your hand to reveal a ring. What are you doing holding a ring? Was it for him? "Are you that eager to marry me already?"
Your face turned red at the suggestion "W-wait I didn't mean it like that?!" You rubbed your head by teasing nature "It was my opponent's ring, I accidentally pulled it when I was dancing with them."
His smile turned upside down when you explained, what are you doing with the ring of your opponent? He calmed down before taking the ring off your hands and looked at it. Hm, it looked quite expensive by the looks of it but easily affordable by him.
You looked at him with a confused expression, you never really saw take an interest in things like this. But you were shock when he decided to drop the ring to ground and stomped on it. You quickly yet gently pushed him away to do any more damaged. Unfortunately the ring was broken into pieces.
"Luka why did you do that?!" You looked at him with disbelief, he scoffed.
"Why are you so upset about it? It's just the opponent's ring, you have more things to worry about other than that useless thing." He spat out.
"That's still disrespectful! I can't believe you did that." You looked at him with disappointment. "What got you so worked up?! From the very you could care less about me, my interactions with my fans,and how I perform. You keep reminding me that this relationship, US, is just a contract. Why do you suddenly care about me no-.."
You stopped once you heard him sniff, you looked at him properly now. His face was turned away, his hair hiding his face but you could still see the tears that were about to fall from his eyes. He was trembling like he was out in the cold and his arms were tightened into a fist. You accidentally made him cry.
"Oh..oh I'm so sorry Luke--i didn't mean to yell at you like that." You gently hugged his body, his face burrying into your chest. Muffling the sound of his sniffing by how hard he's trying not to cry. "I'm sorry I'm just..just frustrated by this whole contract. I got attached and eventually fell for you but you kept reminding me that this was all a contract I just..couldn't control my emotions anymore.."
You confessed, he stayed quiet before weakly punching your chest. He pulled his face from your chest, his eyebrows were furrowed and his cheeks were red due to him crying. God you just wanted to scoop him up and kiss his face.
"I'm no better, I never had alot of chances to feel this kind of emotion. It was weird when I felt angry by how you treated your opponent, as if they were your own lover. I decided to take out my anger by making you angry.." He admitted, your eyes went wide by what he just stated.
"You were..jealous?" You muttered, he looked up to you with an embarassed expression.
"I was not!" He spat out.
"Are too, is that why you've been giving my fans glares all the time and pulled me away from them?" You laughed a bit, he pushed you away but your grip on him was tight.
"Okay now you're just teasing me." He scoffed
"But it's okay for you to tease me?..Luka..Luka don't ignore me please, Luke-" You sighed but smiled, alas your feelings are reciprocated. Although his possessive and obsessive issues are a tad bit scary..You already knew he has you wrapped around his finger. You fell for his trap.
#alien stage#alien stage luka#alnst luka#alien stage luka x reader#alien stage x reader#alnst x reader#alnst x male reader#alnst luka x male reader#alnst luka x reader#luka x reader#luka x male reader#x male reader
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Hi! Sorry if this is weird or anything, this is my first time sending an ask lol
But I just finished reading your writing about the singer/influencer reader and omfg I love your brain. Like imagine the reader did a cover of/wrote like spit in my face by ThxSoMch or Cigarette Ahegao by Penelope Scott (love her sm btw-) cause just imagine the GUILTTT
Imagine the Batfam listening to their music and just hearing the bitterness in their voice as they sing “Screwing everything up, doing everything wrong, In my defence I wasn’t supposed to be around this long, so” HGDECANZZKNFBVD
Anyway, I love your writing and I hope you have an absolutely amazing week! Take care of yourself too- drink water, eat some food and try to get some sleep ml <3
Nah anon you're cool. I love reading asks. ALSO credits to Luludelulusramblings, they made the originally made Influencer reader. Batfam belongs to DC as usual. Singer reader post: here
You know, in the Art History year 1901-1904, Picasso started the Blue Period where he only painted in the shades of Blue. It started due to the death of his friend, later his financial struggles, and of course the current state of the society. Blue Period art was so good but so doleful and depressing that no one wants to hang it in their house. Singer! Reader started their career covering mainstream songs, band songs, maybe even vocaloid.
Their blue period started months before they planned to leave the manor. It was a simple cover of MARINA’s ‘Are you satisfied?’ A lot of burnt out overachievers ate that cover, even Tim himself. The song is basically the reader questioning the Wayne last name. Sure it was a goldmine to others but to them it’s a ticket to misery. One song cover turned into many song covers, enough to make a long playlist to play at 3 a.m. when you’re about to have a breakdown.
The whole playlist? Batfam avoids it because it reminds them of the times they could have been giving you love but they didn’t BUT at the same time they can’t really avoid it. It became like those guilty pleasures playlist. Damian loves and hates reader’s ‘The Family Jewels’ cover because it reminds him of the fact that he and the reader are basically on the same boat. They were just children who needed attention and love. He got that attention and love immediately because of the whole league of assassins backstory. He won’t admit it but the weight of the role weighs like tonnes of iron on his shoulders.
Jason, Bruce and Cigarette Ahegao will roll together so much. That man has twice the amount of trauma Bruce had and his coping mechanism sucks. All the aggressiveness was just a coping mechanism, underneath he’s a man with conflicted feelings and those years of being dead and suddenly being resurrected didn’t help. Let’s face it Bruce is a tired man who lives a double life. He's a man who dresses up like as a bat making sure the city is safe but he can't cover all grounds. The neglect on reader was unintentional but neglect is neglect.
Dick with reader’s cover of ‘Stressed out’ by Twenty one pilots, no explanation needed. ‘This is me trying’ by Taylor Swift with Cassandra, Stephanie, and Tim. Cassandra and Stephanie being raised by villains and Tim being an overachiever to have his parent’s attention. His parents being always away and realizing he basically did the same thing to the reader by making them feel invisible.
Double guilt if they left the playlist on autoplay and ‘Daddy issues’ plays. Any version but I think the original fits the bill. Reader ends their blue period with a cover of Mother Mother’s ‘Burning Pile’ basically saying ‘Yeah fuck it, it’s over. I’m burning it, I’m leaving it, I’m closing the chapter’. But to the Batfamily, it meant renewal and turning a new leaf, an invitation to make things better.
#the scholar in me is proud for making art history reference#yandere batfam x reader#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere#yandere#platonic batfam#platonic yandere batfam#neglected reader#batfam x batbro#batfam x you#batfam x male reader#batfam x batsis#batfam x reader#gender neutral reader#yandere dc#yandere platonic dc#yandere bruce wayne#yandere damian wayne#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#platonic batman x reader#platonic batfamily#bruce wayne#damian wayne#dick greyson#tim drake#jason todd#soft yandere#yandere x reader
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I've been running this writing experiment lately to cut out phrases like "I felt" in my fiction writing. Like I was looking at a sentence in a draft that said, "he felt as if character's eyes were pinning him in place." And then I was like, "well, does he think that or is it true? As a result of this person watching him, he's froze. It's not like a thing, it is that thing."
Oh and "almost"! I'm always going, "He felt almost relieved that it hadn't happened." Well, did he feel better that it didn't happen or didn't he? Or "somewhat", I'm always going, "she felt somewhat perturbed."
And like none of that is wrong, to be clear. I don't know if it'd improve your writing, I don't even know if it'll improve my writing, but I use this sentence structure all the time so every viewpoint is from a voice that thinks about what it thinks, hedges its statements, and offers the same ability for wry little jokes formatted in the exact same way. And I have a lot of writing like that and I think (!) that they're good, but read as a whole, I'm like, "god, they all sound the same." Like there's one melody that I write songs to, so even with different lyrics, it's almost (!) the same song. Something I've been struggling with in regards to my writing and why I've felt so blocked is how boring I found writing my usual way. I'd read something and enjoy the individual parts of it, but then I'd step back and I didn't like the whole. And I got good at this enough at seeing that I didn't like it to do it in real time as I was writing, which as you can imagine didn't improve the process of writing because now I was bored AND dejected about being bored.
There's this sentence-level structure fact that I use unconsciously. A pattern I find easy is short sentence, short sentence, short sentence, long sentence. So I write that. "He [verbed]. He [verbed]. Then he [verbed]. As he [verbed] to his [consequence], he [verbed] that [noun] was [statement of condition]." Which could work, it often does make for a nice rhythm, but it's something I reach for often because it's easier for me.
Just last sentence, I originally typed, "I find it easier for me." But if what I mean is "using this pattern is less effort than another pattern," then it's easier for me. One voice is hedging its bets and the other asserting. Either is fine! But they're different! And, again, GOD you would not believe how many words I've cut out of this paragraph as I write it. I'm so chatty. I love using twelve words when six will do. And that gives my writing a specific tone to my ear.
So if I am bored of that tone, why not try using just the six words? Why be understated? Why be afraid of stronger opinions? So right now with my fiction, I'm experimenting with cutting out as many self-reflective words as I can. Sometime you do need to draw attention to the face that this is the character's interpretation, but like you definitely don't need to do it as much as I naturally want to do it. You don't need to always go out of your way to allow the possibility that the narrative voice is wrong. During editing, I trim the weaker ones (I originally typed, "what I consider the weaker ones" Is that more accurate?). But I think them being there in the first place shifts my language which shifts my character's which shifts my plot. It's sentence structure all the way down!!
(this barely applies to my writing on here, btw. i try to do good but yknow this is a tumblr blog. i'm not trying to get a lit mag to accept it.)
Anyway blah blah (chatty!) the point is I've been trying to write in a way opposite of my interests. Something that doesn't take itself too seriously, that emphasizes EMOTION and ACTION instead of minimizing it, and that clips through scenes at a good pace. Doing this been amazingly fun. I've been having such a good time doing it. I am writing so much because I really enjoy doing it. The process of writing is so fun again.
This post is about two things. One is my new mood stabilizer and therapy day camp. The other is about the benefit of pretending to be MXTX.
#mxtx#w.#b.#the thing about writing scum villain is that you have to write a character so is SO CONFIDENTLY wrong.#sqq needs to be as sure of that he is wrong to the degree with which he is actually wrong#i've used more exclamation points in the last month than i have perhaps in my life. i might in fact have too many exclamation points#but turns out that shit's fun as hell#it's word confetti
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