#not that it ever really is bc of time constraints in these movies but still

[magnifiico]

H-hi your majesty. Uh, I have a question. What are your magic abilities besides wish granting? Can you shape shift into things? Specifically small animals such as mice or kittens? Cuz let's say future issues contain of somebody stealing your wishes and bringing it to their house. It wouldn't be a good idea to just barge into their house as yourself and threaten them to give them back cuz then you'll be forced to fight them and if you're not able to fight them then that would cause other issues like them sucking you into a magic artifact. Don't question how I came up with this scenario. Anyways, I think it would be a good idea if you shapeshifted as something that people mostly trust like a kitten since kittens are usually harmless. If you go into the thief's house as a stray kitten, the residents will most likely let their guard down and they would leave you on your own for a while. That will give you time to get your wishes back and go back to your castle without the residents of the house knowing. It's just a suggestion but it might not work cuz I don't know your magic capabilities or limits. I don't know if shapeshifting for too long can drain your energy or anything. The house in this scenario is relatively far from your castle so if you can't keep yourself as a cat for long then that might cause problems but if that's not the case then that's good. Also if you don't know how to shapeshift, please learn or try to. I just saved you from the future, your welcome. Bye your majesty.

*jumps out of the broken window that I came in the castle out of*

cut to me sweeping up the shards of broken window in the bg u-u

“Why, this is all… very specific.” Or, rather, concerning might be the better word, but King Magnifico masks any such apprehensions behind a calm smile. “I do think I ought to ask precisely where this exact scenario came from; that’d be an interesting conversation for later.” He knows where all his loyal subjects live, after all—should he have a sudden inclination to grace a curious citizen with a visit. (An intimate and proper discussion, naturally.)

The consideration is neatly filed away.

“For the sake of humoring innocent curiosities, I’ll raise you this: would it not defeat the very purpose of shapeshifting—in this case, at least—if I told you it’s a talent of mine?” His hands tuck behind his back. Expectantly—practically challenging—he arches a brow, and a momentary pause dares his subject to utter another word. Truly, Magnifico welcomes it.

But eventually, a shrug rolls through his shoulders. “I’d not spare these worries another thought. The wishes are safe,” he says simply, and despite the pleasant curve on his lips, something less cordial flashes through his eyes. “I guarantee any threats will be dealt with in whatever means are most effective at the time.”

[faejilly]

a while ago i watched someone react to 1.03 and were praising izzy for being an ally and like i love izzy but almost every time she brought up alec’s sexuality it made me super uncomfortable bc who would really want to be constantly in fear that your sibling is going to out you in a very homophobic society while trying to be supportive? and like there’s no way that izzy doesn’t know that the clave is homophobic and she still brings up it up all the time, it just seems weird that she can understand that the clave is racist but can’t comprehend that it is also homophobic, and she never really dropped the topic despite alec being uncomfortable with it

#mood

HOWEVER

The question arises... was Alec uncomfortable, or were pretty much all the queer viewers uncomfortable?

There's a thing with most media, but TV shows & movies especially, which have so many people involved in making them, and so many constraints behind the scenes that we the viewers may or may not know anything about, that sometimes the way a scene appears to the viewer is NOT the way it was intended/the way the characters take it.

Shadowhunters is a particularly egregious example of this, being a (relatively) cheap YA melodrama on a third-rate network whose entire production staff got swapped out between seasons 1 and 2, so 'lol what is consistency or planning?!?' is visible everywhere.

SO.

Is Izzy in-universe actually clueless/dangerous Straight People™️or were the writers/showrunners clueless Straight/White People™️who had no idea that half of their 'rule of cool' / 'quick banter' / etc. came across as micro-aggressions to the audience?

You can go either way, it's all a question of which you think is more fun/interesting/necessary for your own peace of mind/enjoyment of canon. (Fandom is supposed to be fun after all.)

A lot of people settle on 'they are that bad in canon' and write a lot of fix-it fic or 'nephilim have to deal with CONSEQUENCES!' fanworks, and those are great! A lot of other people go with "clearly everyone else in canon acts like they have positive relationships, so this is a failure of execution and I'm going to write fic/make art assuming that these people are who they SAY they are, and figure out what that looks like to me" and those are also great!

Just decide which one you're doing when you start, because combining both in one fic gets... a little weird? Hard to follow, at least. 🤣

SO: Is Alec uncomfortable? How does he deal with that, what does that say about his relationship with Izzy, with other nephilim, with the Clave & Council & Alicante? How does that contrast with how he feels interacting with the downworld, which is canonically a lot more self-aware and accepting of queer people and minorities?

If Alec isn't uncomfortable with Izzy's behavior, if no one else seems to pick up on it, why? Do we go with other people's reactions in canon and assume that she is in fact very careful with what she says where and it seems overt to us the viewers because we're allowed to see it? (Much like inter-party banter over comms in heist movies or tv shows; no one else ever hears it or sees it, so we can see and hear it for storytelling purposes, not for 'reality' purposes.)

If that's the case, what does their relationship look like to people in public? How different are public-facing Alec & Jace & Isabelle from what we the viewers see of their private relationships to each other?

Do you want to assume some mish-mash of both? It's more subtle in the setting than it seems so we can see it, and also Alec knows she means well even if we don't? OR SOMETHING ELSE ENTIRELY?

IDK, I have no conclusions here. I mostly assume that the show is a disaster, and these people all seem to like each other, so how can I write them that fits the results rather than all the dumb-ass details? (I like a lot of authors/artists who go the other way though.) This is encouraged by the fact that the technical/magical worldbuilding is nonsense so I'm making up shit all the time anyway, might as well add characterization to that too! 🤣🤣🤣

[darlinghowl]

sorry it’s been several days and i’m still so upset they didn’t include any of the emails in the rwrb movie like i loved it, it was a decent adaptation and they did what they could within time constraints. but the EMAILS??!!! the ppl who haven’t read the book or have no plan ON reading the book are missing such a huge chunk of their love story because the EMAILS.

casey mcquiston really wrote “on the map of you, my fingers could find the green hills, wales. cool waters and a shore of white chalk. the ancient part of you carved out of stone in a prayer circle, sacrosanct. your spines a ridge i’d die climbing. if i could spread it out on my desk, i’d find the corner of your mouth where it pinches with my fingers, and i’d smooth it away and you’d be marked with the names of saints like all the old maps. i get the nomenclature now—saints names belong to miracles” which is hands down one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen written in anything ever. and that was from ALEX???? y’all don’t even KNOW the shit henry was saying bc HE was the original letter writer in those emails, it took alex getting drunk to write THOSE lines henry is out here writing shit like this just on a whim bc he’s a fucking writer it makes me want to shake the book around like a dog with its chew toy and a strong kill instinct i NEEDED to see more of their emails on screen or i need movie watchers to read the book and talk about them more bc it’s killing me

[callmepippin]

ok so i was tagged by the lovely @lexiklecksi for the 11/11/11 tag, the rules are: answer the 11 questions she asked me, make up my own 11 questions and then tag 11 ppl to answer those (so if you want you can skip to the questions at the bottom lmao). however as a fair warning: this got Way too long probably bc im rambly today. i tried to limit the stream of consciousness but….

1. current musical obsession: Frank Ocean and related sort of neo-r&b stuff - while writing this im also discovering Childish Gambino’s “Awaken, My Love!” (and also the song Golden Brown, but not bc im listening to it but bc im learning it on both guitar and piano)

2. 3 things i always take with me:

- wallet (or at least my id)

- phone (&earphones)

- cigarettes&lighter

3. what (or who) i miss most in lockdown: i dont rly remember? im so used to the situation by now that i kind of forget to miss what i did when things were “normal”... but i guess going to bars w/ friends, and just being able to go shopping when i need smth

4. pick: either only read 1 book or only read books picked by someone else: i wouldn’t be able to only read one book for the rest of my life! so definitely the second option (esp if i can pick the person who picks the books)

5. why i found your blog/followed you and if i intend to stay: uhh you followed me and when i checked your blog i liked the vibe i guess? also you were v nice in the tags of my music stuff! also ya i like it here, so im staying for a while

6. when and why did i last cry: i genuinely dont know for sure.. the last time i specifically remember crying was my granddad’s funeral, which is three yrs ago this month, but i do know ive cried once or twice since then, i just dont remember for sure when and why.

wait i do remember, i think the last time was when i saw Richard Says Goodbye (live music and movies or books are basically the only reason i rly cry, im not an emotional crier, dont know why).

7. who holds the key to my heart: my partner of five (and a bit) years, whom i love Very Much! (although ofc my heart is not locked, i have so much love to give, just romantically i am very much taken)

8, pick one: star wars/star trek, dobby/gollum, white/black magic, flying/teleportation, time travel: past/future?

- Star Wars

- Gollum (even though i have read hp but still havent read lotr, ive read the hobbit like 4 times tho)

- i think the hard dichotomy btwn white/black magic or like light/dark and good/bad in most fiction is often v flawed bc thats not how the world works, everything is grey areas (e.g. the Jedi are not better than the Sith, both have deeply flawed philosophies). the Force (or any magic for that matter) is not inherently good or evil, it just is. nature isnt abt good or evil, isnt abt opposites but abt balance.

and especially if you work with the occult and magical, i think thats all abt walking the edge between light and dark, life and death, night and day, good and bad etc…

so to answer the question: grey magic lmao, its all abt balance

- teleportation i think, bc while flying is very cool, i think teleportation has more practical uses (although also has danger involved, such as what happens if you teleport into a space that is already occupied by a person or an object? but for the sake of argument, prolly teleportation)

- do not even get me started on time travel.. the implications of time travel to the past are…… complicated to say the least (it only works if you believe in hard determinism, which i wholly do not). so in a practical sense, def to the future (although that is also Problematic within the constraints of our four-dimensional universe/experience).

in a philosophical sense though, ignoring all the paradoxes and laws of time and space, id still pick the future (or maybe no time travel at all), bc i think the past is the past for a reason. we remember it, we learn from it, but ultimately we must leave it behind.

my philosophical problem with traveling to the future is more that you cant just. skip life. so if you travel to the future, it has to be way beyond your own life and direct influence, or youll interfere with yourself and your own future, and thats scientifically, psychologically /and/ philosophically a v bad idea all round, i think.

9. which thoughts keep me awake at night: almost never specific thoughts, but quite often anxiety abt the near future. but theres no like, lingering issues that keep me awake.

10. what id do with you if we were locked up together for 24hrs: i think i’d really like to write with you! make poetry, song lyrics, make art! bc we could rly learn from each other i think and also we could just rly pick each others brain abt mundane, important and transcendental stuff ya know?

11. ask anything: do you have concrete, long term plans for the future, maybe even backup plans? a clear vision of how the rest of your life is going to go? or are you more the type to do what makes you happy now and figure it out as you go along?

my own questions (large variation in vibes and weight, i know):

describe your favourite colour using other senses (like what sound, smell, feeling or w/e do you associate with it)

what’s the best thing that happened to you in the last week, last month and last year?

what’s the one thing/what are the things that help(s) you get up in the moring and keep putting one foot in front of the other?

are you a leftie? (warning: there is a correct answer)

do you play/have you ever played a musical instrument? (and for the sake of completeness, yes i am counting singing as well)

do you have one thing (e.g. a song, movie, book or smth else) that never fails to bring you joy?

do you have one (or more) person(s) you feel you could still hit up after ten yrs of radio silence and you’d still vibe?

what’s your favourite song lyric/line from a poem/quote? and why?

who was your first celebrity crush? (if you’ve ever had one obvsly)

what’s smth you’re looking forward to? could be specific, could be a general thing like a driver’s licence or your own apartment or w/e

this one is specifically to feed my curiosity, indulge me: why did you follow me?

congrats, you’ve managed to reach the end! again, very sorry for the rambles, thanks for sticking around. im tagging @alt-heidi, @terdiscussie, @a-soul-to-cling-to, @ontvreemd, @sarahhnghae and i guess whoever fuckin feels like it? i literally can’t think of 11 ppl on this hell site, so if i forgot you its not personal. if we’re mutuals you’re especially tagged.

[slashiest-slasher]

For @slashthedice‘s Frisky February!

Day 7: Cock Warming

Brahms Heelshire x Male s/o (surprise, surprise. it's a sequel of the somnophilia prompt, and late again bc im a trainwreck of a human being)

It's over lunch the next day that you deliberate over what the exact details of Brahms' punishment are going to be for the endeavor of his the night before. Not that is wasn't pleasurable for you, but it pushed a major boundary. On you didn't think you needed to set.

But APPARENTLY you did.

Of course, Brahms has to clean the bedding since he didn't deign himself to clean up and left cum to dry all over the sheets. You didn't know if it would be more fitting for you to clean the cum out of him, but settled for watching him quite intently as he did it himself. His cheeks were bright red as he emptied himself, and struggled to wash out the dried cum from his body hair.

A good enough start, but that was all it was. A start.

You contemplated making him run errands with you in town, but you knew that would be pushing things too far. You want to make him pay and feel bad for doing something like that without your consent, but that would border on him getting arrested.

And then you thought about asking Malcolm over, play some pool, share a few drinks. Maybe even stay over for dinner. But after a quick call, you found that Malcolm is swamped over at the shop. You extend him an offer for help, which he gladly accepts - for tomorrow.

That still leaves the issue of today.

Brahms has his lessons still, and while it's mostly posturing and an excuse for Brahms to snuggle with you while you read to him, you still indulge him. It's pretty nice for you too. It's one of the few times Brahms tones down his brattiness. And that's when it hits you. You smile to yourself while putting away the leftovers.

Brahms, who sits patiently at the table, tilts his head to the side. "What are you thinking about?" he ask, resting his chin on his folded arms.

"Oh nothing Brahmsy. Go get cleaned up for your lessons, alright?"

He perks up at that, and rushes to the sink to get washed up. You only with it were that easy to get him in the bathtub. Usually you have to coerce him with kisses, or the occasional handjob. Sure, he is more malleable in his post orgasmic haze, and lets you take off his mask, but sometimes you wish it were easier.

You head into the library where Brahms usually has been taking his lessons, and pick out Macbeth from the books on the shelves. You set it down on the back of the sofa and strip yourself, meticulously folding your clothes and setting them on the desk. You take the small bottle of lube from your pants pocket, and slowly start slicking yourself up, waiting for Brahms to wander in.

Oh and when he does, you can see his eyes go wide and his back ramrod straight. "Brahmsy..." you drawl out. "It's time for your lessons. Come and take a seat." You have to hold back the snerk.

Brahms is less careful with his own clothes, tugging them off and letting them pool on the floor. If it weren't for bathing him, and spending so much time pressed tightly against him, you would probably forget how lithe and strong his body it, hidden undeath that large cardigan and baggy pants.

You shuffle so your back is against the armrest, and Brahms wastes no time sinking down on your cock. He's still loose and slightly slick from last night, so sans a sharp gasp, he goes down easily. He tries to set a pace, but you wrap your arms tightly around his, pinning them to his sides. The struggle is immediate.

"Shhh, Brahmsy, not right now. It's time for your lesson. You're going to be a good boy for me, and read this act. If you're bad, I'm leaving for the night," you breathe heavily into his ear, hot puffs of breath fogging up his mask.

Brahms moans, and squirms on your cock, which feels wonderful. "Not fair. You're so mean-"

You shut him up with a sharp, brutal thrust that knocks the book down onto his lap. "You can still turn the pages. You're a good boy, aren't you Brahms? Good boys do what they're told."

Eventually, after squirming around on you for a few moments, he finally picks the book up, flips to the marked page, and reads in a shaky voice. He stutters and trips over words, and maybe you shift around (under the guise of getting comfortable) to make his voice hitch.

His body it taut and straining under your arms, like he's moments away from breaking out of your grasp and riding you until he's screaming. But he never does. Brahms sits there, just like you told him, doing his reading, and desperately avoiding any movement. In pauses between lines, be bites his lip and whines, clenching around you.

As he gets towards the end of the act, his voice is strained, and you can watch the sweat dripping down the side of his neck. You lap each droplet up, and nose his damp hair, which only hastens his breath.

"M-macbeth is ripe for shaking, and- and the powers above put on th-their instruments. Receive what cheer you may: The niiii-" you start moving more underneath him, thrusting your hips up a little, which rips a keening, breathy moan from him. "Please," he begs, voice deepening.

"Come on, it's just one more line Brahmsy. You don't want to disappoint me, do you?" You nuzzle his neck, and nip at the skin there.

He whimpers, and grips the book tight enough to turn his knuckles white. "Th-the night is long that never fff-finds the day!" Brahms throws the book onto the floor and throws his head back onto your shoulder. From within your constraints, he tries to ride you, but can't move much. "Please, please, I was a good boy," his breathing is so heavy, and his rises and falls dramatically.

You waste no time heaving Brahms over so he's face down on the other side of the sofa, ass in the air, and pound into him at a brutal pace. Pulling out almost all the way before slamming all the way back into him. In the struggle, Brahm's mask falls from his face. "Good boy, such a good boy. You're my good boy Brahmsy," you say over and over like a mantra.

Brahms clambers to grasp at any part of the sofa, the noises coming from him more screams than moans, but he's trying to thrust back in time with you, so you continue.

It really isn't long for either of you. Brahms sobs your name when he cums. You pull out right before and jerk yourself off until you're spurting cum all over his ass and the back of his thighs. You sit back and admire your work, which isn't something you're typically a fan of, but Brahms looks so delicious with cum striping his hairy thighs and ass.

He props himself up unsteadily on trembling arms to look back at you, lopsided grin on his face. It's the first time you've ever properly seen him without his mask on. The entire right side of his face is warped with burn marks, but even with that he's incredibly hot. He could be a movie star, the romantic lead of a soft romcom where he's the sweet and shy main romance interest. He scoots his way between your legs and rests his head on your chest.

The moment skin makes contact with skin, Brahms jerks away, and desperately tries to cover his face. "Don't look," he hisses, blindly reaching for his mask, which has skittered half way across the room in the heat of things. "You can't see me like... You're going to hate me."

You grab him by the wrists and get him back on your chest. "I know you're insecure about your face Brahms, but just know I think you're very handsome. You cans till wear your mask if you want, or I can look away or close my eyes, but you don't need to hide around me." You stroke his hair and kiss the top of his head.

He nods and murmurs something into your chest, face fully hidden. "You won't leave, because of my face?" he asks timidly.

"Of course not. Brahms I- I-" you huff out a breath, trying to get your tongue to work properly. "I love you."

Brahms shoots up, eyes wide, and it's so wonderful to finally see how reactive his face is. If his hands weren't keeping him upright, he would be holding your face. "Really? Not just- not like how a nanny loves their child?"

You shake your head and smile. "Wholly and fully Brahms, I am in love with you." You lean forward to steal a kiss from him, and nip at his lips.

Brahms grins like a loon, and hides his face back into your chest, but you know it's because he's so overwhelmed because you can still feel his smile against your sternum. "I love you too! I love you more!"

You stroke the back of his head again. "I don't think that's possible Brahmsy. I don't it ever will be."

[syncogon]

What do you think about S2. Idk if it’s just me or does it seem really fast. Maybe it’s bc I read the novel and I do think both s1 and S2 skip a lot of the novel

Honestly so far I think it’s fine. Any adaptation has to adapt to its new medium, and it’s just not feasible in terms of budget or time or resources or anything for them to adapt every arc and every single detail of the novel. Remember, TKA is 5 MILLION Chinese characters long, filling out 19 novels in print - that’s around 3.6 million English words, or over three and a half times the entire Harry Potter series. 

That’s why I think (so far, 3 episodes in) they’re doing a fine job of choosing the major plot points and story beats to hit while still setting up important details, making sense, and being entertaining. If someone wants that full-detail 1:1 experience, they can always go to the novel (or, say, check out the radio drama if they have access). Different versions of a story serve different purposes! An adaptation that tries too hard to keep everything the same just can’t really be a good or successful work. Text and visual animation are just so different and subject to different constraints that the material itself has to be changed in some ways. All things considered, the donghua is still staying pretty faithful. Sure, we’d all want more episodes to get more details (imagine a full 24 in a season, how beautiful!), but when you have constraints, you have to work around them. 

Like. I really really really want to see Happy winning the Challenger League in animated form. That’s a HUGE milestone for our protagonists. I don’t want to have to wait a decade to see that happen. And that’s assuming there’d even still be a fanbase by then - the longer this drags out, the more likely it is that this’ll get dropped before we ever get to that point in the story.* (This is also why I only say Challenger League; it’s a good stopping point, and I don’t even dare hope yet that we’ll get Season 10 properly animated.)

I’ve heard some people comparing S1 and S2, but like you say I don’t think S2 moves significantly faster than S1 did. Just consider, S1 was 12 episodes and we barely scratched the surface of what TKA is really about; we meet like less than half of Happy’s to-be members and only at the very end affirm the goal of creating our own team. You could barely talk to a donghua-only fan without spoilers. Even if comparing the donghua to the novel makes it seem like the donghua skips a lot, I don’t think the pacing of the donghua story feels too rushed when considered as an independent entity.** That’s important too, considering an adaptation on its own merits. And also consider that we’re already a quarter of the way through material took 3 years to come out. 

TL;DR I’m still having a great time with S2. Everyone is free to have their own thoughts; these are just mine. Let’s hope things keep getting better, and let’s hope S3 isn’t too far out :’)

* Happens even in the more-established Japanese anime industry. At least no matter what, we have the completed TKA novel and we know what happens. Rainbow Sea 星游记 took 3 years to release the second part of its S2 movie series, had it end on a taunting cliffhanger, and then like two weeks later announced that due to various circumstances (not enough money) they couldn’t finish this series. And now we’ll never know the conclusion of this story. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt so much if they figured out how to write a good story that only required two movies to tell. 

** People are in fact criticizing that too much time is spent talking and explaining. However I think most of such sections are important for understanding what’s actually going on, what the stakes are, etc - if we rushed through those, then the donghua would be much more confusing, and that, in my opinion, is especially important to avoid. Moreover, we get some good character moments through such “talk” scenes.

*** Disclaimer: I like liking things, I’m biased toward positivity especially wrt TKA. I don’t really appreciate dwelling on the negativity of disliking something, or the kind of complaint circles that tends to generate. Why bother? Why choose to stay in that mindset? If someone doesn’t like something, then they should just move on, find what they like and let others have their happiness. 

[a-second-hand-sorrow]

Jackie and Wilson (Barry Berkman X Reader)

WC: 5801

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, sexual implications, angst at the end

Summary: Barry and Y/N’s relationship seen through Hozier’s ‘Jackie and Wilson’

Tagged: @billhaderlovebot @danny-fucking-mercury

A/N: Hey guys so this was my first time writing for Barry and I hope you all enjoy it bc I really liked writing this!

So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes

No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight

So deep in this swill with the most familiar of swine

For reasons wretched and divine

 Barry hated his life. He hated that he killed people for money, he hated that he was at Fuches’ beck and call, he hated the anger and the violence. He didn’t just hate it though, he was tired of it. Tired of all the red in his ledger. His entire life had been violence and too much blood had been spilled by his hands. The hands that were currently gripping the neck of a beer bottle with a little too much force.

In a last-ditch attempt to find some sort of purpose in his life Barry had sat in on Ryan’s acting class and had found that he loved it, and even though every fibre of his body was screaming ‘Say no!’ when Sally invited him to join the class at Residuals, he ended up agreeing, and that was where he was. Instead of returning to the shitty motel he was lodged at, he was in a booth at a bar somewhere in downtown LA, clutching his bottle of beer like it was a life raft. 

“So Barry, did you just move here?” Someone asked, bringing him out of his daze as he refocused his eyes on the people sitting in the booth with him.

 “Oh uh yeah, from Cleveland.” He responded half-heartedly, just keeping the conversation going for the sake of being polite. The conversation seemed to progress as everyone said where they were from, Barry nodding every now and then to show that he was still somewhat present.

He took a long drink from his bottle, eyes widening slightly when he heard Sally ask him to go dance. He shook his head, wiping his mouth before uttering a feeble excuse as to why he couldn’t dance. Sally didn’t believe him at all, that much was clear from her face, but she conceded, informing him that she’d be on the dance floor if he needed her. He nodded, watching as she walked away, along with the rest of the class, leaving Barry at the booth by himself. 

He sighed, slumping forward so his head was in his hands. He so desperately wanted to be able to relax and have fun with these people, but he couldn’t. He was so deep in all the shit his job entailed he was almost incapable of relaxing. 

Barry took in a deep breath and lifted his head, flagging down someone and asking for another bottle of beer and a shot of vodka. He shot the waiter a tight-lipped smile as he walked away, smiling again when he returned with the requested drinks.

Barry downed the shot first, cringing at how the alcohol burned his throat. He’d done plenty of vodka shots in his life but he rarely let himself feel the pain that came with them. He then started on his beer, watching the oddly lit tavern with a curious eye.

He so desperately wished he wasn’t who he was, that he was someone else who was free from the wretched constraints currently placed upon him by Fuches. Or maybe that he was a better version of himself, one that didn’t kill people as easily as a child might squash an ant. 

Who was he kidding? There was no better version of himself he could ever pretend to be, not tonight or ever. If he had learnt anything from the class, it’s that he certainly wasn’t the world’s best actor.

 She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild

Laughing away through my feeble disguise

No other version of me I would rather be tonight.

And, Lord, she found me just in time

In Barry’s moment of anguish and self-pity, he had failed to notice the woman who had sat herself down opposite him in the booth. She had something that looked like a mojito or another tropical drink in her hand and she was looking him up and down, trying to understand this stranger.

“You look a little too pretty to be sitting here alone, mister.” She said, and Barry nearly jumped out of his seat. His eyes were wide as he looked at her, his brows furrowing in confusion at her sudden appearance.

“I’m sorry, what?” He said, and the woman sighed, holding up a finger as a gesture for him to wait as she took a drink from her glass. 

“I said you look a little too pretty, and now I’m realising maybe a little too sad, to be sitting here alone.” She said, and Barry felt his cheeks start to burn under the scrutinous eye of this obviously drunk stranger.

“You seem a little too drunk to be commenting on strangers.” Barry said, unusually curt, though he attributed that to the alcohol and the session of self-pity. The woman simply raised her eyebrows before stretching her hand out across the table.

“It seems we have gotten off on the wrong foot, pretty man. My name is Y/N.” She said, and Barry gave her a quick look up and down before taking her hand in his and shaking it.

“I’m Barry. Sorry for being so rude, I’ve just been having a rough time lately.” Barry said, and Y/N shrugged her shoulders, taking another drink.

“We all have rough times, what matters is how we deal with them Barry. For example, being rude to strangers isn’t great but it is better than, I don’t know, murder.” Y/N said, chuckling to herself as Barry froze up.

How did she know? Was she sent here by someone? He started to panic, grabbing for his beer and downing most of what remained as Y/N watched on with curiosity.

“Man, you’re an interesting guy, Barry. So how does a pretty guy such as yourself end up at Residuals at this hour?” Y/N asked, watching Barry’s face change ever so slightly before he answered.

He told her all about how he moved from Cleveland and how he hated his job (that was no lie) and as they talked, and talked, and talked, Barry realised that perhaps he needed someone like Y/N in his life. She was so easy to talk to, and Barry felt he had known her his whole life instead of the few hours he had really known her for.

He thought back to his earlier anger and his wish to be some other version of himself, and he immediately retracted his wish. He had decided that there was no other version of himself he would rather be, because if he was any different he might not have known Y/N the way he now knew her, and he couldn’t stand that thought.

As he looked across at her, her face and arms animated as she told a story that Barry couldn’t quite remember the details of, he realised that not only was Y/N the one that found him, but by God she found him just in time.

 Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done

I need to be youthfully felt 'cause, God, I never felt young

 As the night started to draw to a close, Barry had completely forgotten the internal crisis that has plagued him before. Instead, all he now focused on was Y/N. The charismatic stranger who he now knew very well, and as he stared into her eyes he realised that she was very attractive and he very much wanted to kiss her.

“Earth to Barry, come in Barry.” Y/N said, waving her hands in front of his face. He jumped slightly, focusing in on the woman who looked at him with a soft smile.

“You spaced out there for a sec. I was just going to ask if you wanted to get out of here, because it’s nearly closing time but also I think you’re pretty great and don’t want to say goodnight just yet.” Y/N said, wringing her hands slightly as she watched anxiously for Barry’s reaction.

“That sounds great, yeah. I’d like that.” Barry said, and Y/N’s face lit up in a smile. She jumped up excitedly, pulling her jacket on while still beaming, and Barry couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face in response to her joy.

She left a bunch of money on the table as a means of payment for the drinks, and soon Barry was hurriedly waving goodbye to the few remaining members of the acting class as he walked out just behind Y/N. They walked for a few metres until they were near the side of Residuals.

“So Y/N, where did you want to.” Barry’s sentence died as Y/N cupped his face, bringing him into a somewhat messy kiss. Barry’s eyes fluttered shut instinctively but when he truly realised what was happening his eyes flew open. 

Y/N had her hand on his face and she was kissing him. This beautiful woman was kissing him voluntarily, and he wasn’t kissing back because he was analysing it. Fuck, he thought, I should probably kiss her back.

Barry’s eyes closed as he returned the kiss, allowing himself to give into the joy that he was feeling. Y/N was somewhat forceful, and before he knew it she had backed him up against the rough wall, tangling her other hand in his dark hair as they continued to kiss.

Y/N broke away and Barry took in a shaky breath, his head falling back against the wall as she began to press kisses down his jawline and neck. His hands were against her back, clutching the fabric of her shirt so tight his hands hurt.

He hadn’t done anything like this in a very long time. He hadn’t been wanted in a very long time, at least not romantically… or sexually. He was brought from his thoughts by Y/N’s teeth grazing over a particularly sensitive spot on his neck, a groan spilling from the back of his throat.

Barry felt her smirk against his neck at the sound he made, and he knew he was in trouble. Y/N pulled away from him, her chest heaving almost in time with Barry’s. She looked up at him and he let out a breathy laugh.

“What?” She said, not cruelly or harshly, but with a soft curiosity that made Barry want to smile.

“I feel like a fucking teenager.” Barry said, almost giggling as he uttered those words. The irony in them was that Barry didn’t really have the ideal teenage years with the parties and reckless behaviour and everything you see in the movies. He was a good kid in high school and went into the marines pretty much right out of high school. 

Y/N let out a laugh, pressing a kiss to the corner of Barry’s mouth. “Well, it’s good to feel young.” She whispered in his ear, raising the hairs on the nape of his neck as he shuddered, inhaling deeply.

Barry never really got to feel young, and as Y/N’s lips found his again with more force he realised that if being with Y/N was what being young felt like, he wanted to feel young for the rest of his life.

 She's gonna save me,

Call me "baby"

Run her hands through my hair

She'll know me crazy

Soothe me daily

Better yet she wouldn't care

 Barry woke up the next morning feeling strangely peaceful. There was a dull ache in his head and an arm wrapped around his waist. Y/N’s arm, he realised, and his heart sped up. He looked down at her, her eyes still closed and her face as relaxed as could be, and he smiled.

He fought the urge to reach down and push her hair behind her ear, and he felt a strange sense of pride flow throw him when he saw the marks that decorated her neck.

He went to close his eyes again but heard the distinctive buzz of his phone. He groaned loudly, stretching his arm out to grab the phone, however his heart dropped when he saw the message. It was from Fuches, informing him that the next hit had been moved to tonight instead of next Wednesday. He swore, putting the phone face down on the bedside table and dropping his head into his hands.

Amongst all the noise and movement, Y/N had woken up groggily. She rubbed her eyes slowly, but when she saw Barry in a state of distress she was wide awake.

“Shit Barry, are you ok? What’s up?” She said, her voice still riddled with sleep as she sat up, looking over at Barry who had lifted his head slightly, meeting her worried eyes.

“It’s… it’s just shit with work. You don’t have to worry. I’ll go make breakfast, you can go back to sleep.” Barry said, throwing the covers off his legs. Y/N frowned in confusion before reaching out to grab Barry’s wrist.

“I know we only met last night but you can talk to me Barry. If we never see each other again then think of it as an inexpensive therapy, and if we do see each other again then it’s still inexpensive therapy but you get more sessions.” Y/N said, lightly running her thumb against his wrist and the look he gave her was so full of emotion it almost hurt.

He almost collapsed into her arms, grasping at her oversized shirt as she held him. Barry had been forced to be strong and hold it together for far too long, and there was something about Y/N’s genuine want to help him out however she could that just broke him.

She rubbed his back with one hand, gently running the other through his hair, occasionally pressing kisses to the crown of his head. “It’s ok baby, take as long as you need, but if I have to go to the bathroom then you’re getting booted, I’m sorry.” Y/N said, and Barry laughed, his entire body shuddering slightly against her as he did.

There was something so soothing about her touch, and he felt that even though they were practically strangers, she seemed to know him in a crazily intimate way. She knew just what words to say to help him out, when to speak and when to remain quiet, and the best part of the morning was that she didn’t care.

Y/N didn’t care that he suddenly collapsed onto her and laid there for half an hour in almost silence, she didn’t care that he clearly was suffering more than he let on. She just took every moment as it came, and every time her hands wound into his hair and she called him baby in that soft voice of hers he swore that he wouldn’t ever give this up.

 We'll steal her Lexus,

Be detectives,

Ride 'round picking up clues

 Several weeks had passed since that night at Residuals, and Barry was feeling happier than he had ever felt before. Even though he was still being made to do work for Fuches, it wasn’t consuming him and eating away at him like it used to. He almost felt normal with Y/N, something he had spent the last 20 years yearning for.

“Hey babe, I really need to practice this scene for class and Sally’s busy so would you be able to run lines with me?” Barry said, causing Y/N to look up from her battered copy of Pet Sematary.

“Sure. I’m warning you now that I certainly will not be as good as Sally. I haven’t done anything close to acting since the ninth grade. What’s the scene?” Y/N asked, putting down her book and moving to stand behind Barry, resting her hands on his shoulders.

“It’s uh, a scene from A Streetcar Named Desire. Mr Cousineau wanted to challenge us with some more classic plays.” Barry said, craning his head to make eye contact with his girlfriend.

“Oh yeah, I remember studying this in junior year. Challenging is the right word for it.” Y/N muttered, causing Barry to chuckle, nodding his head as he picked up the script.

“Did you wanna start now?” Barry asked and Y/N nodded, removing her hands so Barry could stand up. They moved into position, and Barry passed Y/N his copy of the script.

“I tried to memorise my lines, but if I fuck up just give me the right line, ok?” Barry said and Y/N nodded, smiling at him.

“I take it I’m Blanche?” She said and Barry nodded, taking in a deep breath with his eyes closed, clearly getting into character. Y/N gazed over the script and realised that she had the first line, cursing under her breath before starting.

“Well, well.” She said, her lines punctuated by an uneasy (in-character) laugh from Barry, who looked at her meekly.

“I guess it must be pretty late – and you’re tired.” Barry said, and Y/N had to fight her laugh at the slight New Orleans twist he had added to his voice.

“Even the hot tamale man has deserted the street, and he hangs on till the end.” Y/N said, cringing at how stilted the words sounded. “How will you get home?” She continued, hoping she didn’t sound as robotic as she thought she did.

“I’ll walk over to Bourbon and catch a streetcar.” Barry said, and as Y/N’s eyes flicked down again she realised he had slightly messed up his words.

“Sorry hun, it’s an ‘owl-car’ not a streetcar.” She said and Barry swore under his breath, nodding as he gave her a thumbs up.

“Thanks, let’s keep going.” He said, prompting Y/N to look at the script and deliver her next line. It said for her to laugh grimly, however whatever she did sounded more like a witch’s cackle.

“Is that streetcar named Desire still grinding along the tracks at this hour?” Y/N said, trying to add a southern twang to her accent but failing miserably. She couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, knowing she was probably no help to Barry at all.

Quickly her soft laughter turned into a full-blown fit, and soon Barry was laughing as well, watching his girlfriend throw herself on his couch in a frenzy of laughter. 

“God I am so shit at this. Like so incredibly bad.” Y/N said through her giggles, looking up at Barry with wide eyes.

“I mean, I’ve seen worse.” Barry said, sitting down next to her. She raised her eyebrows, sitting up straight and turning to face Barry.

“Do not bullshit me, Berkman. That was utter trash and you know it.” Y/N said, looking him dead in the eyes and watching as he broke, nodding his head with a tight lipped smile on his face.

“Yeah it was pretty bad.” He said and Y/N laughed loudly, resting her head against Barry’s shoulder.

“I’m sick of all this acting stuff. I have an idea. I think we should just let loose and steal a car, then go on a crazy cool road trip.” Y/N said, and Barry pulled a confused face.

“Y/N are you ok? How much sleep did you get last night?” Barry asked, and Y/N waved her hand dismissively.

“That doesn’t matter. Ooh, maybe we could get some cheap cop costumes and pretend to be detectives solving our own little case. That could be fun, right?” Y/N says, taking Barry’s hand and playing with his fingers as she spoke.

“We could always go to the beach in October just for the hell of it.” Barry said and Y/N smiled widely, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

“Now you’ve got it. Keep the ideas coming, Berkman. I’ve got all day.”

 We'll name our children

Jackie and Wilson

Raise 'em on rhythm and blues

 Barry and Y/N had been together for about two and a half months, verging on three, and they loved every second of it. Neither of them had ever been with someone who complimented them so well, and Barry was so grateful for her presence in his life.

It was a quiet night. The two of them had been curled up in Y/N’s bed watching one of the cheesy 2000’s rom coms from Y/N’s collection, and once the movie had finished they were content to just lie in each other’s arms in bed.

A comfortable silence had settled over them until Y/N suddenly broke it. “Do you ever think about the future, Barry?” Barry was a little startled by her sudden question and he rolled over to face her, studying her features in the dim bedroom light.

“I don’t know. I guess my mind tends to wander sometimes, but I only ever think about the little future-related things.” Barry said, his answer a little basic due to his tired state.

“Well, do you ever think about our future, then?” Y/N asked, a little more hesitant as she waited for Barry’s answer.

“Yeah, a lot. I feel like such a little kid, but I daydream a lot. Sometimes in rehearsals, sometimes at work, and without fail they’re always dreams about us.” Barry said softly, and the blush that coated Y/N’s cheeks was almost noticeable, even in the dark room. There was a look in her eyes that prompted Barry to keep talking.

“Sometimes it’s us living together, sometimes us on holiday together, sometimes us married with kids.” Barry said, his voice softening. He didn’t want to scare Y/N away with the idea of marriage and kids. They’d only been together for a few months but he knew she’d be the one he’d marry and have a family with.

“You think about us getting married and having kids?” Y/N said, looking at Barry with more love in her eyes than he had ever seen, and he nodded gently, his hand reaching out to cup her face. Y/N smiled, leaning into his touch as she brought her own hand up to rest over his.

“So do I. I love you so much Barry, and I want to spend my life with you. Really.” She said, feeling her heart soar as she looked into Barry’s eyes.

“Are you proposing to me, Y/L/N? That’s very unorthodox of you.” Barry said, and Y/N laughed, shaking her head.

“I’m not proposing, baby. I’m just saying that you’re the best thing in my life. Similar but different, I can understand the confusion.” Y/N said, causing Barry to let out a laugh that was cut short by him kissing Y/N tenderly.

“I like the name Jackie.” Y/N said once they pulled away and Barry looked at her with a raised eyebrow, prompting her to keep talking.

“For a girl, obviously, and for a boy I’ve always liked the name Wilson. It was my dad’s name.” She said, and a look of understanding crossed Barry’s face.

“They’re both great names.” Barry said and Y/N smiled, pecking his cheek as they moved into a more suitable sleeping position, her head on his chest and his arm around her shoulders.

“I can’t wait to have a family with you, Barry Berkman. I love you.”

 Lord, it'd be great to find a place we could escape sometime

Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine

Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside

Sit back and watch the world go by.

 “Hey babe, look what I got!” Y/N called to her boyfriend from the front of their house. They had been together for six months and were moving into a tiny house in the outer suburbs of Los Angeles that they had miraculously been able to purchase.

A lot of their friends said they were moving pretty quickly, but Y/N and Barry never listened to them. The moving process was messy and tiresome, but it was mostly finished. They were now just working on minor things, which is what prompted Y/N to go out looking for plants.

“They had these super cool black irises at the nursery so I picked some up for the garden. Did you know that they’re the national flower of Jordan? The lady at the store told me.” Y/N said, carefully setting the pots down on their front porch.

Barry had emerged from the house and was looking at Y/N with a loving smile. She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a brief kiss, pulling away before gently pecking his lips once more.

“Front yard or back?” Barry asked, his hands resting on her hips. Y/N chuckled softly, shrugging her shoulders.

“Whatever you want, babe.” Y/N said, winking exaggeratedly at Barry who just rolled his eyes.

“Back yard it is. Let’s go plant these interesting flowers.” Barry said, picking up a pot and looking at it inquisitively as he made his way to the backyard.

“Don’t bully the flowers, Barry! They’re the national flower of Jordan, treat them with some respect!” Y/N hollered as she followed Barry, the other pot clutched in her hands.

Barry laughed to himself, marvelling at how domestic the situation was. Never in a million years did he think he would be planting flowers in the small backyard of the house he shared with his girlfriend, but life is funny sometimes. Even though he still hadn’t told Y/N the truth about how he had enough money to afford the house, he wanted to enjoy every moment with her.

The planting of the flowers was fun and did involve a bit of a dirt war, but once everything was properly taken care of, the couple stood in the small garden, Barry’s arms around Y/N’s waist from behind and his head in the crook of her neck as they looked at their handiwork.

“I could stay here forever. Just standing here with you, watching the world go by. I love it.” Barry said suddenly, his breath on Y/N’s neck causing hairs to raise.

“Ideally I’d like to be sitting down if I’m watching the world go by, but I get where you’re coming from.” Y/N said, and Barry let out a short laugh, pressing a kiss to the nape of her neck.

Barry decided then and there that he only ever wanted to be this version of himself. The one who got to love and be loved by Y/N. The one who got to plant flowers and hold her close to him. As he looked at the garden over Y/N’s shoulder, he realised that in a way every other version of himself was dead and buried in the yard with the irises, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 Happy to lie back watch it burn and rust

We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us.

 Barry’s phone had been going off non-stop for the past week. Fuches and Hank had been calling and texting, always inquiring about the big hit he had coming up. Did he have enough ammo? Did he know exactly where he was supposed to be at what time? Did he know enough about the target? Did he make sure to eat breakfast because being a hitman is busy work and can maybe make you forget meals? That last one was Hank, ever the polite criminal mastermind.

He had given Y/N an endless list of apologies and excuses, and he started to think she might be seeing through them. The last thing he wanted was for her to find out (even though he knew that he’d have to tell her eventually), least of all for her to find out in such a lazy way as accidentally picking up a phone call meant for Barry.

He was watching an old episode of Family Ties with Y/N, and just as she was laughing at some Michael J Fox-as-Alex P Keaton said, Barry’s phone went off. It was another text from Fuches, and he cursed as he saw it.

“Who keeps texting you babe? If you’ve got a mistress you might want to be a bit better at keeping it covered up.” Y/N said from her perch on the couch, legs folded under her.

Barry pulled a face, shaking his head. “Firstly I don’t have a mistress and the fact that you think I’d ever have one hurts a little, and secondly it’s work again. I swear they won’t leave me alone.” Barry said, shoving his phone in his pocket as he desperately tried to ignore the incessant buzzing.

“Babe, here’s a wild thought. How about you try ignoring it? Turn your phone completely off, lie back and ignore it all.” Y/N said, and Barry’s face screwed up slightly. He knew she had a point but there was no way he could do that without significant consequences.

“If you don’t do it, I will.” Y/N said, raising her eyebrows as she looked at Barry with a challenging expression, daring him to turn off his phone. He caved under the intense stare of his girlfriend, and he turned his phone completely off and placed it on a nearby coffee table.

“Now how about you turn off the TV, I’ll turn on the radio and we can relax. Maybe we can dance, I don’t know.” She said, and Barry nodded, picking up the TV remote and turning the thing off, cutting Steven Keaton off in the middle of his sentence.

Y/N got up, shooting Barry a wink as she moved over to the stereo, turning it on. She smiled at the sound of Jackie Wilson’s voice coming through the speakers, starting to move in time with the beat.

“Join me, Berkman.” She said, stretching her arms out towards him. Barry smiled and moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist as they swayed to the rhythm of the music.

“You know what I’ve realised?” Y/N said, her arms snacking around Barry’s neck as he hummed in acknowledgement, looking down at her.

��I don’t think the world gets us, or at least some of the people in it. They always judge and try and pull us apart in some way, so I think that maybe the world isn’t for us, Bear.” Y/N said, watching Barry’s face soften at the nickname for him that she used sparingly.

“I think I get what you mean, and just saying, I love how your mind works.” Barry said, kissing Y/N’s forehead as she giggled.

“I love you, bear.”

 Cut clean from the dream at night let my mind reset

Looking up from a cigarette, and she's already left

I start digging up the yard for what's left of me and our little vignette

For whatever poor soul is coming next

  The hit had gone badly. He had taken almost every measure to make it go smoothly, but he couldn’t account for the sheer fight his target gave. He did the job, but he was battered and bruised and angry. Not just angry, raging.

When he got home he just wanted to get out of his gear, have a shower and either sleep or punch a wall, whichever happened first. He pushed open the door of the house, expecting to find it quiet and dark as always. However, he was instead met with a sight he hadn’t prepared for. Y/N was sitting at the kitchen table in her pyjamas, dark purple bags under her eyes and a lit cigarette in her hand, the smoke curling upwards like some sort of twisted moth chasing the light.

Barry’s mouth opened and closed several times like a fish’s, trying to find something to say to his girlfriend. “Don’t fucking think about it, Barry.” Y/N said sharply, and his mouth closed fully as he searched for the trademark joy in Y/N’s eyes. All he could find was anger, an emotion he knew all too well.

“I’m not going to ask for an explanation, I just want to know something. Are you seeing someone else?” Y/N asked, taking a drag from her cigarette as Barry shook his head violently, taking a step closer to Y/N.

“No, I’m not seeing anyone else, Y/N. You know me.” He said, taking another step and reaching his hand out to rest on her arm, however she shook her head, taking another drag of the cigarette before speaking.

“Do I, Barry? Do I really know you, because the Barry I know wouldn’t come home at one in the fucking morning decked out in black, looking like he’s hiding something. Are you, Barry?” Y/N asked, her voice dropping to a deadly quiet as she asked the fatal question.

“Am I what?” He asked, though he knew deep down what she was asking him. He just didn’t want to face it.

“Are you hiding something from me?” Y/N said, putting her cigarette out on the kitchen table with a forceful hand. Barry refused to meet her eyes, his shoulders dropping in resignation. Y/N narrowed her eyes, biting her lip as she stood up.

“Fuck. I’m going to stay with Natalie for a while. Talk to me when you’re ready to grow up, Barry.” She said, storming past him to the door. Their eyes met briefly in the doorway, and Y/N had to look away to stop herself from crying.

She loved Barry with her whole heart, but he was clearly a different person to what he had showed her. There was something going on, and Y/N couldn’t be around him while he sorted that out. The door shut behind her and she wiped away tears as she pulled out her phone to call Natalie.

At the same time inside the house Barry pounded his fist into the kitchen table, crying out at the pain. “Fuck!” He yelled, slumping down into the chair Y/N was just in. 

He knew this was too good to be true, that it wouldn’t last. It was nothing more than a lengthy dream, pleasant and beautiful but finite. In a moment of nostalgia, he found himself going out to the garden. He stared at the black irises, remembering the day they had been planted… remembering how it was before what just happened.

In a way those flowers were all he had left of his time with Y/N. The flowers and all the memories, now slightly tainted by sadness like a sepia filter being applied to something that was once in colour.

He didn’t realise that he had stated crying until he could taste the salty tears on his own lips, and his hands rushed up to wipe them away. He longed to be back in Y/N’s arms, but instead he was alone in the garden, trying to find what was left of himself.

[igarbagecannoteven]

hello hello i am late but hi okay 8, 12, 15, 37, 40, 59, 74, 91, 95, 97, and 98 LOVE YOU BYE xoxo bella

hi hi! no such thing as late for ask games my love 💙

8. movies or tv shows? movies! i have a limited attention span so my interest may not last long enough to finish a show, and also there are lots of shows that either get cut off too early (or continue on for too long) while movies know their time constraints and can create an arc accordingly.

12. name of your favorite playlist? trying to make me choose btwn my children i see skdjfskldjf i've been rocking out to my dancing in the kitchen when no one else is home (aka the reason no one will let me dj a party) playlist lately which is pretty bangin' not gonna lie. also idk if i should link it bc ~spoilers~ but one of my fic/au playlists is pretty snazzy now that i've put them in semi-chronological order and it fuels my desire to have the big guy over and done with (the end is so far away *sobs*)

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? not to be That Person™ but hamlet. i loved making conspiracy theories about queen gertrude being the mastermind and also who doesn't love some emo, questionably mentally ill lads?

37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase! duffel bags are so unwieldy and also i have more trouble lifting them bc i am built like uncooked spaghetti as you know

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? like, high school? some of the events at my high school are kind tw heavy so i'll go with the fact that for a prank my senior year this group of kids decided to buy a large purple obelisk (our school color was purple) and just,, put in a random spot on school grounds? it was taller than me and had their initials painted on it and was just very strange.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? is this like mario going "ha he" or whatever? or more like a "prepare to get sMaShEd" situation? either way it'd probably be something like "snazzy!" or "why are we here? just to suffer?" right before i do my signature move, ‘cry awkwardly until my opponent feels uncomfortable and walks away’

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? probably a 5 or 6? it used to be higher but by now i've realized there's no point to being in pain if there's an easy solution (altho i still to some extent try to tough it out at first for medical reasons lol)

91. boxes or bags? uhhh depends on the context but boxes are fun bc if they're big enough you can hide in them like a cat 😊

95. favorite app on your phone? spotify and tumblr bby, i am nothing if not basic as uwu

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? my parents' home phone and my cell phone. i used to have my old home phone from when i was a kid memorized but i lost it. i'm not good at remembering numbers so the moment it's not relevant they tend to fall out of my head lol

98. favorite historical era? oooo this is a tough one! i am partial to the 1920s just bc there is *so* much going on (good and bad) and also the aesthetic is so dreamy,,, but the 80s are also very funky fun and the music is *chef’s kiss*. OR if you want something a little more historical-y then i’ve always thought very early human civilization is so interesting bc there’s so much we don’t know! also a lot of the stuff we do find about them is very in the vein of “wow humans really have been like this forever” but like, in a positive way ya know skdjflksdl

send me weird asks!

[evilkitten3]

the thing about thor 1 and 2 that thor 3 missed is that the dynamic with thor and loki is an extremely unhealthy and toxic relationship between two people who genuinely adore each other but have been fucked over by circumstance and bad parenting (mostly bad parenting), to the point where it’s almost impossible for them to ever leave that toxicity behind.

loki openly admits to envying thor, but what he doesn’t say allowed until the end of the first movie is that he also resents him quite a bit. i’d guess it’s something he hadn’t allowed himself to think about, if only bc it’s actually very difficult to admit things like that to yourself. but loki internalizes his issues - he does his best to shove his own problems aside and not deal with them until they bubble up and force him to. thor does the opposite - he reacts immediately and instinctively right up until he’s forced to slow down and actively think things through.

when he was turned mortal and sent to earth, he suddenly couldn’t solve his problems by swinging a hammer at them - so instead he listened to jane and erik and grew because of it. but to loki’s eyes, it looks like a handful of mortals managed to teach thor something loki has been trying to teach him for centuries, without even trying all that hard. it’s the cherry on top of the “eat shit, kid” cake that loki’s dealing with in thor 1. he wants, more than anything, to be seen as thor’s equal in the eyes of his family, and this is like the asgardian equivalent of taking crappy financial advice from a toad right in front of your parent who’s been trying to teach you about taxes for the last five years now.

the inability to communicate goes both ways, of course. thor isn’t stupid, per se (although i’ll admit that i don’t believe in that concept in general for a plethora of reasons i won’t be getting into here), but he’s extremely unempathetic (which, y’know, mood) and loki really, really doesn’t like sharing his feelings. so thor takes what he sees at face value and loki doesn’t contradict him bc, again, he doesn’t like to talk about his problems.

nearly every scene between the two of them involves manipulation, and not always from loki (thor can actually be extremely manipulative, which is a side of him i wish we got to see explored more, but it makes sense given that both odin and frigga are constantly manipulating everyone all the time). but in spite of that, they still love each other so fucking much.

but even that’s unbalanced. bc while thor genuinely does love loki, he doesn’t need loki the way loki needs him. thor has other connections. and while losing loki devastates him every time, he’s always able to move on. to be clear, i don’t think that’s a bad thing - being able to move past the loss of a loved one doesn’t mean you loved them any less, although in thor’s case i think it’s more that he’s just choosing not to process his grief rather than having genuinely moved on. loki, on the other hand, only really has thor. thor’s friends don’t like him much - for reasons that aren’t really made clear, mostly bc thor’s friends just don’t get the development they deserve (which is fair, time constraints are a thing) - and he doesn’t really have anyone else. thor is his brother, but he’s also the only friend loki really has - and the only member of his ‘family’ that didn’t spend his entire life lying to him.

but thor doesn’t realize that bc he’s just not overly aware of loki’s situation - or, more accurately, it hasn’t occurred to him to think about it. one of the reasons thor is so relatable to me as a character is actually bc he’s just. not overly curious about people most of the time. other people’s situations don’t really occur to him unless he sits down and forces himself to consider them - and loki really doesn’t want thor to consider his situation. i think in part that that’s bc loki is waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak - he’s waiting to find out that thor knew he was a jotun all along or that finding out about that made him view loki as a monster or something. i doubt he even knows what specifically he’s waiting for.

the misunderstandings and resentment and love between them is what gave their relationship the weight that it had. the ripple effects of the schism between these two is still affecting the mcu’s storyline (if you can call it that) even now, over ten years of movies later. and ragnarok... didn’t have that. it just didn’t. whether you enjoyed it or not (i personally did, although i acknowledge that it’s deeply flawed and really doesn’t fit in with the thor franchise up to that point at all), the dynamic thor and loki had just didn’t make it into the movie. the emotional depth between them is gone. thor comes off as completely uncaring concerning his brother (and bruce, for that matter, but that’s a whole nother story) and loki comes off as... honestly, i’m not sure. the only way i can make loki’s sudden extreme shift in character make sense is if almost dying in thor 2 resulted in the oxygen to his brain getting cut off long enough to give him brain damage or something. which would’ve been another fascinating avenue to explore, but no such luck.

TDW is so underrated. It's literally the only thor movie to correctly follow up on the brodinsons' Thor1 characterization. The later movies missed a great opportunity to recreate -or even mention- the "Loki getting sucked into a Void & Thor terrified of it" (happening again) event. #i hc that Thor would have PTSD after literally watching his brother of 1073 years let go at the bifrost like THAT

yeah. TDW set up so much potential for a third movie where thor fully breaks with odin. and completes his character arc. but nope. Disney gotta ruin it. oh well. TDW is where it ends for me. so guess Loki's gonna be chilling on the throne forever. good for him.

[eiael-thinks]

IT: some thoughts by me

I just saw IT and I loved it even though I had some quibble with it. I just want to type my thoughts out really quickly. There will be spoilers for both the book and the movie, so I’ll throw it under a cut.

As I said, I loved it. They movie really captured the terror, humor, and pathos of the book. Over the course of the movie, I laughed out loud MANY times, I got choked up And even shed a tear, and I also hid my eyes at a couple of really fucking scary moments.

As someone who was 11 years old in 1989, I can definitely say they nailed what it was like to be a preteen at that time. the weird freedom to go where ever, roam all over town on your bike, get into it with other kids, sneak a cigarette, curse like a sailor, and be subject to pretty fucked up cruelties from other kids as well as adults. (As an aside, I read the book for the first time when I was 13 fwiw)

The actors who played the Losers Club were phenomenal, and Skaarsgard was freaking off the charts scary as Pennywise. The adults all hit that sweet spot of either menacing or so emotionally distant as to be negligible forces in the lives of the kids. The movie does an excellent job of capturing the sense of “Derry below.” The part of the town of Derry that’s only accessible to kids, and completely under the radar of adults. Some of this is shown to be bc of IT’s influence, but some of it really is just the way adults overlook groups of kids.

Henry Bowers was also very well portrayed, but a lot of the character development that happens in the book with him (i.e.: him slowly going from a vicious bully to someone who tried to kill the Losers to someone who does kill his father) is pretty compressed bc of they constraints of the story. Also oddly, they made his father a cop rather than a racist drunk, for really no reason I can discern other than that it will play into part 2 when they come back as adults.

The thing I missed the most was the ways the kids fought Pennywise, and the different solutions they try before finally going down into the tunnels. In the books, Bill steals his dad’s gun and he and Richie try to shoot it at the Neibolt Street house. IT attacks them as a werewolf, the gun does bubkes, but Richie (forever the joker) has itching powder, his bad impressions, and his jokes... and those DO harm IT. Of course, they focus on the werewolf thing and make silver slugs for Bev to shoot IT with a slingshot (FYI, they change up the kids’ strengths... I’ll come back to that), and the silver does hurt IT bc IT does have some of the weaknesses of whatever form IT’s in, but once again, it’s Richie’s jokes, Eddie shooting it with his inhaler, and (iirc) Bill yelling at IT without his stutter that make the big difference. To me, this part of the book is so important bc it fit’s in with that famous Neil Gaiman quote on the importance of fairy tales. It’s not that monsters exist, it’s that we can beat them... and the theme of these kids, these “Losers,” beating this primordial evil with the weapons forged from their “weaknesses” and the pure beliefs of childhood, which both make them such tasty prey for IT but also the most dangerous weapon to wield against IT, has always meant a lot to me.

In the movie, they jump straight into a physical confrontation with IT at the Neibolt Street house. There is no prep beforehand, no silver slugs, and the entire encounter is very different from the book. However, the whole sequence is scary as shit and the kids all get their moments to shine.

The biggest change the movie makes plot-wise is that the kids decide that IT’s lair is underneath that house, and they are right. This cuts out the whole sequence of them being chased into the sewers by Henry, as well as a lot of the parts of the story where they’re hanging out in the Barrens which are personal favs of mine. But here’s the BIGGEST spoiler (be warned)

~~~~~spoiler space~~~

Rather than gathering together and going off to fight the monster as a group for their own reasons, the movie has Pennywise kidnap Bev to get them down into the sewers. I assume this is to provide a narrative mirror to the adult plot, when Bill’s wife Audra gets kidnapped by Henry and brought to IT... BUT I was not happy with that decision. Bevvie is not a damsel in distress. OTOH, having her have a one on one with Pennywise gave the audience a hint of how they might handle the Deadlights and what IT really is, and that was really cool and well done. It also reinterpreted how “We all float down here” might look, and again, really fucking cool. Bringing Bevvie back from from the Deadlights is done very sweetly, and that’s all I’ll say about that.

For those wondering, the infamous escape sequence (aka tween orgy thing) DOES NOT happen THANK GOD (not that I was too worried it would, but still...)

Now to the thing that bugs me the most: the way they switched up the kids’ strengths. Bevvie is never the dead-eye gunslinger, and she never gets to run point on an attack (she does however save Bill and get in a great hit on IT). Stan’s neat-freakness is never really touched upon, and the scene where he helps Bevvie clean up the bathroom and directs the other kids how to create order from chaos is given to Bill. They also really downplay the amount of antisemitism he faces, which I think is a shame bc so much of the book parallels the mundane human evil that lurks in Derry alongside the more flamboyant supernatural stuff.

Speaking of not addressing social issues, the vast majority of the racism that Mike Hanlon and his family face, the hate crime that burned around 100 black people alive in the nightclub The Black Spot, and the constant torture of Mike by Henry bc of his race is almost completely absent. Again, I think the movie missed a chance to make the points about the evil humans do that King addresses so well in the novel. Also w/r/t Mike... he is no longer the historian of the group. Mike was always my fav character, bc as a kid he’s into history, and then as an adult becomes the librarian. The movie takes that away from him, and that pisses me off to no end. The black character is basically reduced to the muscle in a lot of the scenes, and that’s not cool.

Because the movie mostly does away with the Barrens as the main hang-out, Ben never gets to show his engineering prowess. Rather, he is the kid who knows the history bc he’s new in town and hangs out in the library where he puts together Derry’s fucked up history. Again, I’m disappointed they took the history nerdery away from the black character, and the building/physical labor away from the fat kid.

Oh and FYI, even though they downplayed the racism and antisemitism and ableism the boys faced, boy howdy do they lean into the slut-shaming Bevvie faces.

All that being said, the movie does an excellent job with each of the kids. They all have compelling stories and set-pieces dedicated to their encounters with IT and how that reflects their individual fears and strengths. While I might have made different choices with how to condense the story, I was still very impressed.

This review might read more negative than I mean it to. I really enjoyed it, I will almost definitely see it again, and I am super excited for the adult’s chapter. But I also needed to get some of this off my chest... so I hope you enjoyed the word vomit.

TL;DR: the movie is AWESOME. it dropped the ball in a couple of ways, but it’s still well worth the price of admission.

[eggnogeggnogeggnogegnogeggnogyum]

comprehensive (for now) guide to what podcast i'm talking about now: -bionic/bonanza: matt alexander and myke hurley; fucking bullshit -the history of rome: mike duncan; you can guess -limetown: over(?) fiction show -tanis: nic silver, mk; kind of Lovecraftian horror? fiction; bi weekly in seasons -the black tapes podcast: alex reagan, richard strand, nic silver; paranormal fiction; bi-weekly in a season -alice isn't dead: Lovecraftian horror fiction; bi-weekly in a season -b-sides: myke hurley's network (relay fm)'s place to put stuff from before or after shows -after dark: 5by5 (the former podcast network that isn't super popular anymore)'s equivalent -bonus track: the incomparable(a much more culture-focused compared to the other two's tech focus)'s equivalent -clockwise: show formerly with jason snell and dan moren but jason left to do the next one and now there's mikah sargent; 30 minutes of pretty structured tech discussion; relay; weekly -download: jason's new show, clockwise with no time constraints and only one host -cortex: cgp grey and myke hurley; about work but i just like the people; relay; bi-weekly -dear hank and john: hank and john green; they basically answer questions but not like an ama, it's like. a less jokey mbmbam and with hosts i like better?; weekly -fusion: relay fm members show, once a month, always has stephen hackett otherwise always different -hello internet: cgp grey and brady haran; about whatever they want but full of inside jokes; typically every two to three weeks -ink still wet: a fan-written fiction show i really liked but hasn't had an episode in over a year so probably cancelled -king falls am: fiction; sammy stevens and ben arnold; started as a night vale clone but developed a nice style of its own; bi-weekly -lore: aaron mahnke; real life horror-y events; bi-weekly i think? maybe weekly; getting a tv show soon -lost in the shuffle: nintendette's podcast; i think she said bi-weekly? -mabel: horror-y fiction i guess? mabel and anna -mystery show: really good show but hasn't had an episode in two years despite constant promises; i am angry about this -revolutions: mike duncan; revolutions in history -robot or not: jason snell and john siracusa; monthly or so now?; complicated description for a very short, funny, and simple show -subvercity transmit: GAAAYYY; not actually very good if i'm honest with mysely; a.m. onymous -the history of byzantium: weekly-ish; frustrating -the incomparable game show: really funny; they basically play games; varying hosts; monthly-ish -total party kill: d&d; bi-weekly in seasons; always has jason snell, tony sindelar, and steve lutz, typically has erika ensign, dan moren, scott mcnulty, and a few others -starship iris: gay sci-fi -top four: top four lists of stuff; tiff and marco arment -ungeniused: myke hurley and stephen hackett; weird wikipedia articles; bi-weekly -you know damn well what night vale is but it's bi-weekly jsyk -analogue: myke hurley and casey liss; about feelings and stuff; bi-weekly -cmd+space/inquisitive: myke hurley interview shows; over now -the prompt/connected: myke hurley, stephen hackett, and federico vitticci apple shows; connected weekly, the prompt over; i listen mainly bc i like the people but it's not a bad idea to keep an eye on the distinguished competition -virtual/remaster: myke hurley, federico viticci, and in remaster, shahid kamal ahmad; about games; virtual over, remaster i think weekly -women of marvel and this week in marvel: marvel interview shows; i listen when someone i like is there but i don't really like the hosts of either show -defocused: JOE STEEL (actually named joe rosensteel) and dan sturm; about whatever they want but typically there's a movie review; weekly i'm pretty sure greater boston: gay realistic fiction -harmontown: dan harmon's, the creator of community as well as rick and morty, podcast about himself and his depression and stuff but it is funny -hello from the magic tavern: fantasy podcast in the style of an interview show -homecoming: fiction show about the treatment of iraq/Afghanistan veterans -hypercritical: john siracusa and dan benjamin; older tech show, established a lot of genre conventions, sometimes regarded as the best podcast ever, almost certainly the most influential -the incomparable: panel show about various fiction stuff -incomparable radio theater: parody of old radio akin to the thrilling adventure hour but with segments i like less and actors i like more -thrilling adventure hour: old radio parody; has assorted panels, i'm likely to only mention sparks nevada and beyond belief -isometric/disruption: georgia dow, brianna wu, steve lubitz, and until the last few episodes of isometric, maddy myers; after that and into disruption, mikah sargent; frankly idk if i'm gonna listen to disruption bc mikah is okay but maddy is by far my favorite isometric host -jordan jesse go: jesse thorn and jordan morris; really long-running comedy show that if i decide to listen to will take me several months -liftoff: stephen hackett and jason snell; about space; bi-weekly; relay -material: andy ihnatko, yasmine evjen, and russell ivanovic; weekly, about google and android; relay -mixed feelings: quinn rose and gillian parker; about news and politics and pop culture; weekly -my brother my brother and me: still debating about whether to listen but it's there -myke at the movies: myke hurley movie review -neutral/accidental tech podcast: marco arment, casey liss, and john siracusa; neutral is over but about cars, atp is still going and about tech; i think atp is weekly? -reconcilable differences: merlin mann and john siracusa; pretty much about whatever they want -rocket: brianna wu, simone de rochefort, and christina warren; about pop culture and stuff -roderick on the line: merlin mann and john roderick; a funny phone call between them basically -s-town: serial spinoff about a small town in Alabama -serial: you know what it is i'm sure -the history of english: what it says on the tin -the hitchhiker's guide: radio version of the books, came before the books -the once and future nerd: TERRIBLE title for a good fantasy show -the pen addict: myke's pen show -the penumbra podcast: gay anthology show w a terrible intro -upgrade: myke hurley and jason snell; somewhere in between analogue and a typical tech show -we're alive: you know -wolf 359: back in my feed -you look nice today: merlin mann the trojan man, scott simpson, and adam something; comedy, releases every now and then but essentially over

[rwby-rants-and-theories]

@jaynefray replied to your post: @jaynefray replied to your photo: @jaynefray 😂😂😂…

Thank you XD tho Qrow’s closeness to his family and traning with Ruby makes me think he THINKS he is bad luck charm rather than him actually being one. I mean he SAVED Rubes and Yang when they were attacked in the forest, he saved RNJR and Ironwood and brought Ruby back safe, and he kept RNJR safe during their trip. 

Like surely they’d be dead if he hadn’t cleared out that Grimm(which makes me kind of go ‘bad writing’ on creators when Jaune says ‘much help you are’ cuz like Jaune is the weakest link in that team at least this season, so like he’d be so dead if Qrow hasn’t tagged along and kept them safe. 

I understand we are supposed to stand with him because Pyrrha but like…if you make him call someone out on not being much of a help when that person’s been helping all along and he’d be dead without it…it makes him sound like ungratful little shit and the sympathy bc of Pyrrha goes out of the window, because at that moment  I was ‘fine, kid you can go and die’ like I have with lots of characters in horror movies. but back to bad luck. 

It also has been kind of badly played? because with Winter THEY ARE IN COURTYARD WITH HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE AROUND. PUBLIC PLACE OFC SOMEONE IS GONNA COME AND SEE WHAT THE COMMOTION IS ABOUT. Then there is the fight with Tyiran but like the building that falls at the start is far away  like really, really far away, and it doesn’t affect anything for the heros. It just a part of it that slides of, but other buildings are not affected, it’s background thing that does not harm nor affect anyone, so this is not really dengerous. 

and it’s also ruined town, that has been destroyed by grimm and left for about a decade or more unrenovated and the buildings seem to be wooden. big shock, it would start to fall, which is also a thing when something falls on Ruby. they are fighting in a ruined town, with buildings exposed to the elements for ten years, and they use heavy weapins and throw each other and stuff. things will fall down. the next istant mehtinks is the log falling of but again nothing happens it just rolls of. it doesn’t hit anyone, fall on anyone’s leg, doesn’t even ignate the grass. it just falls and goes down. plus agaon it can be explained away naturally. The logs are piled on each other and things like one falling off tend to happen, like if you burned some old leaves in your backgarden or had bonfire once or twice you know it happens. 

I think that Summer’s death is the thing that Qrow blames himself for but like..amongst all people that he knows and we met so far she is the only one. Tai and Raven have been on the team with him and they’re fine. He trained Ruby for years and during that time nothing happened, same with Yang. Glynda is alive, james…heck as I said he even saved James. and they are huntsmen and according to common sense in such showsm when you hunt monsters you die young, heck roman says it out loud to ruby ‘die like every huntsman in history’ it’s in the job description 'you have high risk of dying young’ so it’s really weak example and so far this is the only example we know of someone close to Qrow dying…well there is Ozpin but Ozpin kind of meddles like a meddling wizard and does a lot of stuff that have serious consequences  and in figt with tyrian Qrpw was legit the only one who got hurt..

so either his bad luck isn’s that strong, either it affects only him, either it’s bullcrap invented to make things edgy and emo because M/iles is inspired by Zack Snider or whoever is directing DC movies…:P 

Lol, that’s pretty much why the whole “bad luck” thing feels weird and inconsistent.

There’s no way Qrow would be allowed to be a teacher anywhere if he had a Semblance that would affect the students’s performance negatively.

Also, when it comes to Ruby, she doesn’t seem to have suffered any injuries or have experienced any unfortunate incidents while training with Qrow. Ozpin said that Crescent Rose is one of the deadliest weapons ever designed. You’d think that training with a bad luck charm would lead to extremely unfavorable outcomes.

And yet Ruby is incredibly skilled and talented with her weapon.

w h a t

A lot of people say Qrow suppresses his Semblance by drinking and that’s how he was able to train Ruby. But in all due honesty, there’s no actual provable indication that Aura is capable of being affected by stimulants or depressants.

Gee, it almost sounds like there are still important basics about a power system that could be explored in an expository spin-off that deals with information otherwise not presentable in the show due to time constraints and not have said spin-off waste time regurgitating information that was already established in the show.

*cough*WORLDOFREMNANT*cough*

As for Jaune, he also doesn’t get to belittle Qrow when Qrow actually succeeded in saving Ruby (and she also saved herself from Tyrian by severing his stinger) while Jaune engaged in an uncharacteristic display of defeat and inaction. 

So much for not wanting to be stuck in a tree while his friends risked their lives. 

What even is character development, lmao? M/iles and K/erry make Jaune look like such a useless and angsty hypocrite. It’s such a monumental disrespect to his character it makes me mad.

That whole spiel with Winter was just a deliberate attempt at making the Atlas military look bad. To what end, I don’t know. Maybe Qrow was just being a total douchebag. 

A video theorized that Qrow’s Semblance factored in the fight when Ironwood caught Winter about to skewer Qrow’s windpipe. I’m a little skeptical about that, though. And I’m fairly curious to see what M&K said on the commentary for the episode, since it would make me lean one way or the other depending on what they said.

As far as the “Qrow was involved in Summer’s death” thing is concerned, it sounds more like fanon than canon to me. Yang said Summer left for a mission and never came back. She never said that her mother left on a mission with Qrow. If Qrow had been involved, then the circumstances of Summer’s disappearance wouldn’t be such a mystery. 

Yang would know for sure Summer died rather than just say she’d disappeared. Qrow would’ve told her her mother had died, and even then he could have lied about the way she died to protect the secret of the Silver Eyes. “Killed by Grimm” is an extremely plausible scenario, anyone could believe it.

People are also convinced that Qrow was present at Summer’s death because of Qrow’s hallucinations induced by Tyrian’s poison. That isn’t really evidence of anything. It sounded more like Qrow remembering how he had to shake a distraught and despairing Taiyang into realizing Summer was never coming back.

Qrow can blame himself for not being there to save her, but he can’t blame himself for supplying bad luck he wasn’t there to supply.

Honestly, the whole “bad luck” thing is so inconsistent that it feels like a really unnecessary layer of angst to an already definitely-not-sunshine-and-bunnies type of character.

You’re right, it is  really edgy, lmao.

[ice-cream-beat]

What do you think of the Foretellers after Back Cover?

BRACE FOR TL;DR (and some BC spoilers, obviously)

I really like them! And by that I mean I ended up liking each of them individually, and just about equally, which is a big deal for me since I tend to heavily, HEAVILY play favorites among characters in any series (and no one’s picked up on my obvious favorite child of all, tho, right? right…).

More specifically, I actually really liked how Back Cover was pretty dang open with the Foretellers’ flaws. KH is a series that – imo – focuses more on the positive qualities of characters, with the negatives only being touched on when the plot’s centered more heavily around them (nothing wrong with that, I add). BC actually felt a little more… natural, I guess? in intertwining the Foretellers’ friendships right alongside their arguments. It reminded me of BBS and Days in that we saw both the good and bad sides of their relationships, but BC felt more like a drama where emotions were a more realistic rollercoaster and not necessarily one big, messy situation spiraling to a final plot point. (e.g., we see Ira and Aced butt heads constantly, but they make up when Ira takes him back; Invi and Ava have a yelling match, but Invi’s quick to apologize, albeit for questionable reasons.) As much as I adore BBS, for example, I wish the game had been under less time constraints and let us see a little more personal interaction of this nature between the trio – present interactions that say a lot more about their relationship than what we’re left to assume from flashbacks and behavior (although I understand the necessity of what we were given since there were three stories to tell and one big plot to deliver, and I for one do appreciate having to put thought into relationships rather than being spoon-fed everything directly, so you could argue either way).

In short, it felt like the movie was portraying the Foretellers as humans, not heroes. And in that regard I feel like BC broke some new ground? I’m not sure if KH is just reaching a point where it’s mixing up its storytelling game a little or BC just had the freedom to go more in-depth like that given how vague the story elements were, but it felt to me like the Foretellers were the focus and the plot was secondary, rather than putting both on more or less equal ground (with plot as the priority) like the rest of the series, and I think that’s why the Foretellers came off as so likable to me even though they all screwed up multiple times in such a short period of time (plus I have no issue with flawed characters. those are the best kind.).

That said, I am still biased and Invi is definitely my favorite (although I had to watch it twice before I really caught her appeal, since I felt like Aced, Gula, and Ava are the main show stealers), but I do like them all, and I think Nomura succeeded where he said he was trying to avoid portraying any of them as totally good or totally bad.

Also, I’ve always been a big fan of the Rebirth Theory in general terms – that is, I’ve always liked and been convinced of the idea that the Foretellers are connected to five present wielders, whether we’re talking reincarnation, blood ties, or just the “coincidence” of destiny needing five wielders of a defined nature at crucial points in time – and after watching BC I’m more convinced than ever that it’s still the case. Again, whether it’s literal reincarnation, I obviously can’t say (and don’t particularly care), but all the Foretellers exhibited behavior that’s a strong parallel to their present-day counterparts, just in the extreme.

Aced and Terra both struggle with personal pride and prioritizing their loyalty vs their own sense of what’s right; Invi and Aqua both idolize their masters unquestioningly and have trouble trying to play the middle ground; Ira seems to be the only one with his head on straight, but he’s a strong reflection of Riku during KH2 and Days. I think Ava’s arguably an exception only in the sense that we have yet to really see the core of Kairi’s character, but you could still draw a line between Ava choosing to accept the War’s inevitability (in a sense, she’s failing to act against it) and Kairi having been in the background for so long (also failing to act, although this certainly hasn’t been her fault), as well as how Ava’s the representative of those who will be scattered after the world’s lost to darkness but still carry the light of hope, and Kairi is a literal heart of light who survived her own world being lost to darkness. The fact that we have so little of Kairi to compare, personality-wise, has me convinced she’ll have some significant development in KH3 to continue the parallel.

Gula seems to be the odd one out overall – he’s independent, he’s sarcastic, he’s generally the least emotional, he makes that stab about the Foretellers not really being comrades – all qualities that seem to be the opposite of Ven, but it’s been my guess for a while now that Gula doesn’t reflect the Ven side of Ven, but Vanitas. If Vanitas wasn’t evil and insane, my guess is that he’d resemble Gula’s personality pretty closely (snarky, independent, coolheaded, etc.). Seeing as how Ven is somehow tied to KHUX, thankyouextremelyvagueNomurahintsI’mdyingoverhere, I’m wondering if we won’t see his Xehanort-era personality and learn that the Vanitas part of him was consciously stronger at the time (which would make sense, given what Xehanort wanted him for) and thus tie back to Gula that way.

ANYWAY, that got a bit off-subject, but yes, those are my post-BC thoughts! My only regrets are that the movie wasn’t longer AND I was really hoping to see the Foretellers unmasked, so now I’m wondering when the latter will take place, if ever. But we know Nomura has an obsession with dramatically unveiling faces, so you know, here’s hoping. o9

[arysthaeniru]

a little tag meme by the wonderful @ienveeus! I have yet to do the voice meme and that’s because whenever roomie leaves the apartment, I forget to use that time to my advantage and record? But I’LL DO IT SOON <3 PROMISE. thank you for tagging me~

1. Are you named after someone? Yeah, in a way! The full version of Niru is a variation of my grandma’s name! But also, it’s one of the (many) names of goddess Lakshmi, so. 2. When was the last time you cried? I think it was last month, when my period was in full force and I was talking about something vaguely sad about me to a friend, and not super emotional, but I legit started crying, and I was so glad that roomie wasn’t at home, because it was the dumbest thing and it reset my count. Days since last nonsense: 26 3. Do you like your handwriting? Kind of? I liked it more back when I used to write a whole lot more in hand. Now, because I do everything digitally, my handwriting is a fucking mess, even more obese and illegible than before :D 4. What is your favorite lunchmeat? As a vegetarian, I pass.  5. Do you have any kids? Nope, thank goodness, that would be FAR too much responsibility. I am the mom friend though... 6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Duh. I’m the best. 

7. Do you use sarcasm? Yes. Moreso in real life, because it doesn’t transfer so well online, but definitely online as well.   8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yeap~ 9. Would you go bungee jumping? If somebody pays for it, HELL YEAH. Otherwise, it’s expensive as hell, so I’d be like. hesitant. Stuff like sky-diving which has less chances of back injury would be my first go tos for adrenaline rushes.  10. What is your favorite type of cereal? I wasn’t a cereal person until this year, which my friends’ obsessions have converted me. I really like the chocolate ones that are super crunchy, bc they absorb the taste of the milk without getting soggy, which is ideal.  11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? LOL nope. I don’t have shoes that need laces, solely for more slipping-off ease. I’m like Tae, I HATE wearing shoes more than I need to. 12. Do you think you’re a strong person? Depends in what context. I’d say I’m fairly strong mentally. Emotionally....I no longer bottle up things for as long as I used to, I think I’m getting better at dealing with the existential sadness of existence and being a flawed human being, though I’m by no means  perfectly strong person in that aspect. And not that much physically, no.  13. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry! Strawberry is so good as an ice-cream flavour, especially if they use fresh strawbs in it <3  14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Clothing, but that’s just because I’m short and that’s usually the first thing I’m confronted with.  15. Red or pink? Pink! Red is a little too bright.  16. What is the physical feature you like least about yourself? My chubby stomach, because otherwise I’d have a body like Hyosung. But I don’t plan on doing legit exercise for a while, because of time constraints, so that’s not going to change either :’) 

17. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Black tights and brown leather boots! Though I took off the boots, so my wet feet can dry.  18. What was the last thing you ate? Salad for lunch! Wasn’t feeling eating anything else, and in that case, better to eat healthy than nothing at all.  19. What are you listening to right now? On and On by VIXX! I got into VIXX’s music lately and I really enjoy their vocals and production value.  20. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Purple Mountain’s Majesty! what a cool name and it’s purple too, so. There weren’t enough cool green names.  21. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My dad, to tell him about my phone working again.  22. Favorite sports to watch? Tennis!

too british to love anything else. Though tbh, cricket is second best, because as a british-indian, I’ve been brainwashed by the rest of my family.  23. Hair color? Black 24. Eye color? Black 25. Do you wear contacts? By necessity. I need it for dance, since glasses in America apparently have the crappiest nose-pads. Otherwise I wouldn’t touch them in a mile, contacts expose my disgustingly large eyebags and I have to put on makeup whenever I  wear contacts to not scare the world. Plus, my eyesight is so bad that they don’t quite make contacts that are my prescription :))) so i can’t quite see perfectly, i prefer to not wear contacts. 

tenipuri fam remember me complaining about contacts for ages two years ago hahaha.  26. Favorite food to eat? I mean, food is generally a struggle. But Pasta and noodles are usually my go to food of choice! Though lately, I’ve been craving indian snack food, like pani puri and chaats....

27. Scary movie or comedy? neither, because I usually dislike comedy movies? they’re not as funny as they want to be. and scary movies are very very rarely good: only the psychological horror ones are really interesting! Like the slasher flicks are just boring and gross. 28. Last movie you watched? HIDDEN FIGURES!!!! BLACK LADY SCIENTISTS PUSHING FOR SPACE OUTSELLING GENERIC OSCAR WINNER ROMCOM IS SOMETHING I AM ALWAYS WILLING TO SUPPORT.  29. What color shirt are you wearing? green jumper, the one with a billion gems on it. I feel like a holiday~! specifically. christmas.  30. Summer or winter? fuck this is hard, because both are hell in their own ways.... But I’ve got to pick winter, the fashion’s great and I don’t have to worry about shaving, because I’m huddled in twenty layers for the most part so.... 31. Hugs or kisses? hugs, most of my kisses have been awkward and not fabulous, lol.  32. What book are you currently reading? just finished fun home by alison bechdel. I think i want to reread the ender’s game series though.... 33. Who do you miss right now? A lot of my new friends at uni, this semester has been hell on my social life, I spend so much time at my job/dance, that I barely get to eat with them. and we don’t have a class together anymore ether so :(  34. What’s on your mouse pad? nothing lol, I don’t have decals.  35. What’s the last TV program you watched? yikes...sense8, back in summer? Or does LastWeekTonight count? Because I bingewatched hella yesterday to get the facts I needed for a meeting.  36. What is the best sound? on any other day, I would agree with Phoebe and say rain, but today the rainstorm knocked over a tree in our apartment complex so. I’m a little salty, and am gonna pick Suran’s voice, her voice soothes me so much. 

37. Rolling Stones or The Beatles? The Beatles, mostly because I know nothing about the Rolling Stones. I do love a lot of Beatles songs, even if I think their expedition to India as ‘the land of hippies and weed’ was a little tone-deaf.... 38. What is the farthest you’ve ever traveled? No matter where I cut it, the voyage from India to Britain, probably. Though Britain to America is a pretty goddamn long plane fight too.  39. Do you have a special talent? Gosh, I don’t know. Is putting your foot in your mouth a special skill? But honestly, I have a really gorgeous voice and a talented debater/speaker and a pretty good linguist? So my voice in all ways is probably my gift.  40. Where were you born? Chennai, India ^___^

I’m low-pressure tagging.... hmmmm @thelaziesthufflepuff, @hobisparkles, @namseok @alloyscreen @hashtagbts @nommonkeypie @arcadiafalls and @amane-yasuchika~

[paceunknown]

i think the reason i love hsm so much is bc it was the only good constant in my life from ages 8-13. that period was…horrible, to put it lightly, but it made me happy and it was the first real Thing i was super into to the point where i found an online community to boast abt it with and write fic abt (shoutout to the-n and rhea, jamie, and arabella), so i could always just escape to hsm, like literally allow it to engulf me and block real life out. it was one of the first major Things i was into, as well, that my mom registered and would bring home gifts for. i got an hsm water cooler, hsm board games, hsm blankets, like you name it i had it. and it was nice that she was so supportive, didn’t just brush my interests aside but engaged in them w me (she still knows all the songs and the movies line for line; she’s also kept this trend going my whole life. i currently have a bucky action figure for no reason). it also kept me and my sister close, as she’s two and a half years older than me and started going thru adolescence while i was still pretty young. but despite her changing tastes she was always right there on the message boards with me, staying up all night discussing fic plots, replaying youtube videos until we nailed the dances. my most prominent memory is during all the promo for hsm 2, i rmr folding clothes in my room w her and listening to the radio disney music choice channel, and what time is it came on and we literally started jumping all over my room and singing at the top of our lungs bc we were just That excited for the movie. i was 10 and she was 12 and our lives were shit and scary and uncertain but in the midst of it all we found mutual happiness in a made-for-tv children’s musical and now at 20 and nearly 23 we still do and there’s something really beautiful abt that. bc i’m a sucker for nostalgia, and usually when i get nostalgic i get melancholic, but i’m nothing but happy when i go and rewatch/relisten. i don’t yearn to have those times back not because they were tough personally but because the happiness it’s brought me never had and won’t ever have a time constraint; it still makes me just as happy now as it did back then and i sincerely hope everyone has something like this in their lives