#not that i think im that visibly queer but i guess i am

[gaytobymeres]

met the accountant yesterday for my new job (needed to give him a form) and i was expecting some old guy but no it was a youngish gay guy and im p sure we both did a double take at finding another gay person in what is a very heterosexual environment. like the spiderman pointing meme.

[always-and-forever-alone]

Why?

James potter x y/n

Summary: Sirius is one of your greatest friends, so you help him hide a secret. But James takes it wrong and gets upset.

Warnings:I don't think I use any pronouns sorry if I did, but you can change that if you want, that's all if there's more please tell me.

I have dyslexia

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It happened over the summer. he had sent you an owl, telling you to call him on a "that one thing Muggles use, because they're too lazy to train owls" he said that it was too important to say over a letter so of course I sent a letter back.

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Sirius

It's a phone, and you've never trained an owl too. To be honest, there thinking smart, not harder, making a phone box thing.

Anyway, I'll be there at 5:00 on Sunday, be ready, and do the same thing you always do when we talk, if you need help ask James.

-y/n

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So here I am, at a telephone box, waiting for 5:00.

It is now, 5:43 and I'm about to leave when the phone rings. I jump to the phone and answer.

"Y/n"

"Sirius"

"Oh! Sorry I called late, I had a hard time setting up the phone, I had to ask Remus, but James was too busy"

"It's ok what do you want to talk about" I'm a little scared, Sirius is not serious.

"Ok, so you're ok with, queer people right" Sirius seemed hesitant

"Yea...... what's this about," I ask

"We're not really ready, but I'm dating Moony, and people are starting to ask why I haven't asked out any girls, because like I did it a lot..... not my greatest moments," he said all jumbled, and slightly nervous. It was very unusual.

"I 100% support it, but what does this have to do with me" By the way he was talking, it was probably a really dumb idea.

"CanWeFakeDate" I didn't say anything, I was confused for a second. Sirius didn't hear me talk and got worried. "I'm sorry it's dumb, please forget it" I still didn't talk.

"Ok, but only for a few weeks" It was a little silly but I'll do it for a friend.

"Really. Ok I'll tell Remus" Sirius calmed down

"Wait, can james know," I ask, hoping he didn't hang up.

"Can we wait, till we tell him about me and Moony, I trust him but we just want to keep it down" That makes sense I guess, hopefully, it won't end bad, I know he doesn't like me but I want him to know I'm not takin.

"Yea that's fine"

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So we put a plan in order.

ONE: Slowly introduce it.

We started out with James, they need to know so when they find out it makes sense.

We were just talking, and Sirius was sitting close to me, we were going to introduce it slowly, so it's not suspicious when we say we're dating.

Remus knows but still looks like a kicked puppy, James is looking at me, I wonder if he knows?

Soon were leaving, and James asked if we could talk. I agree even if I was going to talk to Remus, I'd just owl him tonight.

"Y/n come on," James said a little Inpatient.

"Sorry, what do you want to talk about," I said as we fell into step

"Are you Sirius dating, it's ok if you are" Wow, what do I say.

This messed up port two of the plan (just a little)

"Kinda...." I lie

"What do you mean, 'kinda', it's a yes or no question"

"I don't know, ok," I say, I do know we're friends and nothing else but I can't tell James that, they want me to keep it a secret.

Or maybe I could tell! they said I couldn't say that there dating, but I could say that Sirius and I are fake dating, I don't have to say why.

"It's fake, he asked if we could fake date" I say as we step out in to the potter's family garden.

"Why, what's in It for you " he asked, his Annoyance Visible.

"Because, and im helping a friend" I answer hopefully he'd take it and stop asking questions.

"Do you know, or can I just not know?" he said bitterly. James was nice but got upset easily And Jealous.

"No it's not like that, I know because I'm fake dating him, I deserve that much. It is nothing against you. He just doesn't want people to know, if people knew then we wouldn't fake date" I answer.

"So your single"

"Yea, but people just don't know."

"Good" James is mad that Sirius is doing this. But he likes that no one knows you're single.

But him.

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TWO: make a big deal of it. (It's Sirius he's dramatic)

The school has started which gives us a good way to announce, our 'dating'. And how did he have to do it? BY KISSING ME IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALL. Don't get me wrong, I've seen Sirius kiss lots of girls in the hall. But never in my nightmares have I deen that girl!

Rumors spread pretty fast, and soon, everyone knew.

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I think James is scared I'm getting Bullied, he rarely leaves my side now. I mean there's been some mean girls, and weirdly a guy saying I lead him on, which is not true. But I'm doing fine, I knew there were going to be some fan girls mad, so I'm fine and I know they don't mean what they say......right?

Anyway

THREE: dramatic brake up

We were in the library studying with Remus and James. Sirius and James were behind, and Remus was practically teaching them what they should all already know.

I go back to my homework when I finish explaining the potion to James. Sirius slides me a note.

'How do you want,2 break up'

I laughed at his note and slid one back

'Idk you asked me to fake date YOU'

We both offered some pretty dumb ideas. I went to grab the next bad idea Sirius had said, but the note isn't from him.

'What are you guys talking about'

-james'

Sirius and Remus fond out I told James and were a little mad, but said it was ok because he doesn't know why I'm fake dating Sirius.

'How where going to brake up, his ideas such.'

Sirius reads this over my shoulder now Curious, and frantically writes next to my messages.

'Hey, your ideas are pretty bad to!'

James, reads the note smiling, Scribbling an answer. Passing the note to Sirius not letting me see it, they both nod their heads and go back to their homework, James taking the know so I don't see.

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We wait for a good time to brack up, there has to be a good amount of people. And we need to be dramatic, because that's fun.

It arrived when Slytherin wins the game agents Griffindoor, and as revenge we Steal their spotlight.

So here I am, getting ready for a slytherin party. I don't even know what Sirius and James are going for the brake up but I'm a little scared, one I don't know the plan, two they made it.

I expect Sirius to be at my door but it's james.

"Hey" I said smiling now.

"Hey....." I feel a little nervous when he looks me over.

"You look nice" he said quietly

"You loom pretty good to" I say with out Thought

"You read to go" James cuts in to what ever this is

"Yea" now I'm really confused. I thought Sirius was getting me, im happy it's James tho.

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We just talk with our friends, intill James whispers, to fall him.

"I'm going to go get punch guy" James says looking at me

"I'll come with" I add, I think this what he wants. We get to the punch table, the punch is probably not just punch, I cringe at the idea.

"Slap me if you get mad" James said before pouring the punch on him.

"Did you just throw your drink at me!" James said loudly, I was very Confused.

"I....." but before I could give a real response he cute me off, Yelling more getting people's attention.

"Oh don't act confused, you know what you did. First you date Sirius and brake my heart they you mess up my fancy shirt!"

"James.... wha-" he cut me off again....... by kissing me, for a moment I don't do anything,I'm so very confused. But when James releases I'm not kissing him back he starts to pull away, but I chase his lips. Pulling him in.

just as soon as I start to realize what's going on, someone pulls me away.

"How dare you" Sirius gasps so dramatically I try really hard not to laugh.

"We're done, go be with that back staber" wow he really wants a award. And with that he struts away.

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Bonus (headcanon)

People are ready confused why you guys are still friends, in there eyes he's girlfriend and best friends date well the were still together.

Like some guy would come to console y/n(even tho she "cheated") and he talks shit about Sirius and your like, that's my brother from from another mother bitch.

I think that's fun

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This was suppose to be a blurb, but yk. Kinda of Proof red

Thank you for reading I really tired so I hope you like it. If you like it please show it I get more inspiration when I know people like it.

Have a good day!!!

[boy-gender]

I’m not exactly sure how to phrase this. I, like many others unfortunately, am a scared and confused queer person. Being on the younger side as well I really don’t know what steps to take to be safe. Is removing any note that I’m queer from my socials really something I should do? Should I stop posting about my experiences as a queer person? What apps should I cease use of? As a trans person should I detransition while I’m in public? Etc.

I’m just so lost, I feel like I need a field guide to navigate through this.

I’m sorry for bothering you with it, but your posts have been comforting today. Hope you’re safe too. <3.

Nobody can tell you how to best protect your safety but you, because youre the only one able to guage your situation. Are you in a blue state with protections and an established queer culture? Are you in a small red farm town where trucks full of trumpers drive around with flags and rifles (I am)? Is someone following your car or harassing you at school? Does your town have a rainbow sidewalk? In person, you have to weigh your assessment of danger and awareness of your surroundings against, I guess, your desire to authentically express yourself.

I am a bad judge of this. I am aggressively visibly queer, always have been, and i will never back down from beig confronted. I escalate conflict and then i win them. I dont go seeking it, but when it finds me, I will not be cowed. I have never been in the closet and I will not go there. I value my expression highly and my physical wellbeing very lightly. After a lifetime of suicidal tendencies, my self preservation skills have atrophied.

Thats not to say im not aware of my surroundings and risks. Just that you might have different priorities than I do. Some suggestions:

-Dont use a period tracking app. You write that shit on physical pen and paper and hide it. If you think you nay be pregnant, tell no one until you know for sure.

-Get rid of twitter, mostly because its a shithole and was even before the election.

-Do not give your real name, location, school, age, birthday, or any other identifying information online. My profile says my name is Sasha, I'm an adult, and Im from the broad new england area. Sasha is not my name. I am an adult, you can guess what age that makes me. New england is a large area and I do not speak about identifying landmarks near me. Get a nickname. Remove your age. Lie. Lie about where you live or be vague. You owe this information to nobody, ever. Speak about your experiences, please, we need your voice. But edit those experiences so they dont get used against you.

-use the block button generously

-learn your rights, state and local. Learn how to speak to cops or avoid speaking to cops, rather.

-make real life community connections, particularly around gardening and food sharing. Learn to grow your own food.

-take a first aid cpr class.

-learn to drive, even if you dont end up going for your license. Have the ability to operate a car.

-Learn to shoot, get a license, practice frequently, and be armed.

-stay close to your loved ones. Talk to friends and family and people you trust. Isolation is the enemy.

[angstics]

There isnt a high chance ill end up in a serious Visibly Gay relationship, but i will always care about & enjoy the State of Gayness. Which is to say, that i am not likely to Do Gayness but i am to Think and Talk about it forever. Which. Isnt a very common sort of queerness. Considering there is less historical discourse (and visibility, which isnt as important) about People who care impersonally. There’s still a lot of shame and internalized homophobia attached, and i will still be ostracized by people (especially homophobic loved ones). It’s still a scary way to live. But not for any physical reason… which has ALWAYS BEEN THE POINT. THE RIGHT TO EXIST. What rights do i need to exist???? The right to talk about gay people? Im socially gay. Ideologically. SPIRITUALLY to echo Mr Criss. And literally, theoretically — honestly, least importantly. Which it shouldnt be. But a large part of knowing is living. Im not really living it. Im an anthropologist. Or, at most, an active observer. For now. Which cultivates UNDUE feelings of guilt for “fetishism” and “voyeurism”. So. Umm!!!! I guess this is Part of my confusion and heartache and existential annoyance. The part i can talk about at least

[woahpinkhorsegirl]

Hi mlp tumblr and bluey tumblr! Im Pink! Im hoping to share my stuff on here and discover other stuff!

This is my sona! She's a changeling but stays in her pony form almost all the time, just her preference :)

Im gonna start posting OCs and whatnot for both fandoms soon, but i wanna put here the list of Deviantart basemakers i used from at various points, mostly early on when i forgot to credit them. Hopefully I'll make new refs eventually and they'll have proper credits.

I have a huge MLP and Bluey next gen thing to post too so either look forward to that or check it out if its out by the time you read this!

Other information about me, if you'd like to know:

I am 19 years old, white, American, and ace bi. I'm a ciswoman but I go by all pronouns, she/he/they/it and neopronouns are all acceptable, whatever you see fit or comfortable to call me!

Trans people of all kinds are welcome on my profile, alongside queer people in general! I am pr0-choice and pr0-p4lestine, I don't talk about my p0litical stances much but those are the two most important i can think to mention.

Disabled people, with both invisible and visible disabilities, are also welcome (these feel obvious but I've seen people who make it feel necessary)

Non-white people are also welcome (again, unfortunate that I feel the need to clarify that, but I use twitter so :/)

I also saw a random post about this but just in case, anyone with coping mechanisms (like age regression) are also welcome. I won't judge you for doing what you need to do.

If i look like im censoring some words by using numbers or symbols, that's a force of habit. I don't like appearing in search terms unless I actively want to, it usually invites the wrong people, so i "censor" terms that I think might draw the attention of bad apples.

Uh just some boundary stuff I guess? I love OC interaction and I also enjoy RP. I don't like giving my discord to people so any of that is gonna have to happen here. If that's inconvenient or not gonna cut it, then my apologies :(

Uh my rules for RP are a tiny bit strict but not in the way your probably thinking.

Im one of those "planning ahead" type of roleplayers who like to map out a scenario and key events before we begin and occasionally take pauses between major scenes to plot elements of the future. If you can handle that, then I'd say your golden! Im not picky with the length or detail in responses, as long as theres something to work with, I can usually move things along. The only other restriction i can think of is: when it comes to the sexualities of my characters, please respect them. Thats really it :)

I do platonic roleplays, adventure, romantic, and slice of life. I'm not much for action stuff unless its the spice thrown into the other types occasionally. I'm pretty flexible though, so we can talk about it individually if need be.

Oh, and no nsfw RP. I dont do s3x, and im not much for depicting "elicit substances" to put it lightly. Alc0hol might be the only exception, if its kept in small doses. If for some strange reason our characters end up in a s3xual scenario, we're skipping to the aftermath.

Edit: Some of my OCs have romantic interests made/owned by my boyfriend. This element can be removed for romance roleplays if need be (although they will still be with his OCs outside of the roleplay)

So yeah uhm I think thats it! Im not sure if you can edit things on Tumblr but if you can then I guess I'll update this as needed! Thanks for checking out my blog!!

[kienansidhe]

Saw your tags on a post and wanted to mention that trans women having their bulge be seen as gross also isn't an exceptional experience. It's definitely more visible because they face hyper visibility, but bigots treat all trans people that way.

If you need a one to one many NBs who have a penis will have their bulge treated the exact same as trans women. For a different but comparable experience, people who pack have it treated as gross as well and it's assumed to be a sexual thing. Same thing with people who've had phalloplasty.

I've also seen cis gay guys treated that way too. It's "gross" and assumed predatory. Because the cisheteropatriarchy punishes any deviance from traditional masculinity and femininity, queer bodies are as a whole demonized and policed. And that means a lot of bulges are treated as inherently sexual, threatening, and gross by mainstream society.

You kind of ended up doing the exact thing the post was warning against, where you assumed X doesn't happen to Y group of people, and only Z group of people experiences that. It's something that's easy to do but I hope you'll be able to expand your knowledge of the topic with this and also consider future things more broadly. There are definitely a few experiences one group will have different than another, but there's also a lot more overlap than people think. And there are very few experiences that literally only one group has, even if the exact way people experience it might differ some.

thank you for your thoughts! i inhabit a transmasc body that has chosen to only partially transition, and i struggle a lot with moral ocd, so on this site where there r a lot of loud ppl saying that trans women / transfems have it the worst of anyone, while other people say that different trans ppls struggles are different but not better or worse, while trolls and bullies muddy the conversation constantly, i really have trouble figuring out whats what.

i kinda default to deferring to trans womens voices because i dont know what its like to be transfem, but like, of course different transfems say different things and not all can be right at the same time, so its very confusing! im very afraid of erring on the side of dismissing transmisogyny, i guess? and theres so many ppl on this site who jump at the chance to call any statement transmisogynistic that i am maybe putting 'ofc trans women have it worse' disclaimers in too many places? (this is NOT trans womens fault, i see this from every demographic and often most viciously from other transmascs.) like. not gonna lie, im very scared of people on social media lol.

im sorry if ive made people feel invalidated by the way i talk abt this stuff, especially since i feel invalidated a lot when ppl call transmascs transmisogynistic for talking abt transandrophobia/transmisandry? maybe i need to just stop commenting and listen more until i can comment more confidently and with less fear. i dont know? im open to input!

[edit: heres the post and my tags that anon is referring to]

[drdemonprince]

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

You should hire a sex worker!! When you're looking for something specific and you don't want to play the field it's a great great time to support your local sex workers and ask for exactly what you want. They'll treat you right. Try Tryst !

[graevs666]

i’ve noticed i get a lot of bottom dysphoria when i’m in situations i have to worry abt cis ppl, like swimming, hookups, going out in public in particular outfits, like bodysuits, tight shorts / trousers… itd b v obvious im trans if i wore those things around cis ppl and i already am visibly queer

i don’t want phallo and i have considered meta in the future , but it’s not something im tht bothered enough by and like ofc id love to have a biological dick but thts never gonna happen so I’ve had to accept what i have, and it’s bearable to live with these days bc my outfits usually hide that part anyway

around my queer friends or alone i just never rlly have to think abt hiding, i wear whatever i want bc i know they’d never judge, but when im outside i have to second guess everything bc im worried abt how ppl will view me and what can happen as a result and idk it defo triggers my body dysphoria

[paintingformike]

Bc, some people think those moments were meant to draw a contrast rather than a direct parallel.

People think that Will being in between Mike and El's scenes is not necessarily there to imply that Mike likes Will but rather is there to show Will's unrequited feelings, because Will was blurred whereas Robin was at the center of the scene where we watched her visibly being sad but Will was not sad, he was blurred in the background and when Mike and El have a forehead touch moment, he is entirely out of the picture.

Also, people do not exactly notice which music plays at which scenes. Only if they are interested in analyzing or searching, then they can find. Another example is, we know about the 'tender emotional music' because we focused on that and then made an analysis, but even then that wouldn't necessarily look like byler proof to the other parts of the audience, esp when that same music also plays for a melvin scene in one of the scenes where they talk.

It's also that Dan and Vickie broke up but Dan is just some random character, whereas El is a main character and we have been following Mike and El's relationship for seasons (that's how the audience thinks), and they gave Mike a huge monologue, whether or not we argue that it happened due to Will, it still happened. Even if Mike and El do not exactly talk, it does not look like a byler proof for some people but it rather looks like a casual relationship drama which will be resolved in S5 like Jonathan and Nancy's underaddressed situations.

I am saying this bc while I am a byler shipper and I think the narrative has a chance to make Byler fully canon, I also have many queer friends or in general friends who belong to GA, and I can also understand their points when they say that they do not see byler happening because majority of the proof that we have seem far-fetched, random or delusional to them.... or just not enough of proofs in general.

yes i literally just said i know people find it harder to believe in byler because main characters are involved in the love triangle whereas dan and vickie are side characters, and that’s as far as i’ll get their sentiments.

about all your other points, yeah i know that these are all reasons why people from the GA think most byler proofs are farfetched...but it doesnt mean their arguments are valid and understandable though lmao. the rovickie/byler parallels aren't even that hard to pick up on, and if it was only meant to contrast the two relationships then will being out of focus while robin isn’t wouldn’t be the ONLY thing different about their scenes cause everything else is pretty much identical to each other, mike and vickie even have similar conflicted expressions when they look at will and robin (and its ON THEM for not noticing that). also even if will is blurred out he still stands out the most cause he’s dead in the middle of mike and el’s faces and his figure immediately draws your attention (heck he was the first thing i noticed as a casual viewer while watching vol 2), which makes no sense for someone who’s supposed to be just “entirely out of the picture”...and about the monologue. something tells me its just double standards against a queer ship cause this isn’t exactly the first time a character seemingly professes their undying love for another character but still ends up with someone else 🤔

what im trying to say is yeah its true that they have all these reasons for not believing in byler endgame but at the end of the day...how am i just supposed to understand the points they have when they’re the ones who cant read into things that aren’t supposed to be very complicated when you have common sense, and i dont really think their thought process/reasonings are particularly strong anyway. also in this context...the rovickie/byler parallel is literally one of our least “random” byler proofs that just came out of thin air, its very much in your face so 😭 i guess i’d understand if you were talking about other more tiny background hints in relation to this topic but this one is pretty blatant...sorry for going into a tangent

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

My question is: should i select the “bisexual” option on tinder? I think that you can make it visible or not (I don’t even have a profile yet). If I do, I won’t probably make it visible because it makes me uncomfy.

The thing is that I haven’t been in a relationship yet (not even a FWB situation or a hookup) and I want my first experience of the sort to be with a man. I know that it’s a whim and that i’m limiting my options but that’s what I want at the moment. On the other hand, i’m really curious about women and how it’d be like to date and have sex with one (especially the latter) . If I could transport myself to a magical realm where nothing I do affects my real life i’d definitely try it, but i’m scared to because im afraid of how that actually would affect my life. Who would find out? Would my parents know somehow? My extended family? I know i’m being paranoid but I can’t help worrying about that sometimes.

I have come out as bi to some friends, but the truth is that i’m not really sure I actually am. I’m between bicurious and heteroflexible (which im aware its also bisexuality, but still). Should I choose the bisexual label once I create my profile or choose straight for the moment? (I’m also afraid that I look too straight for queer girls to like me but that’s another unrelated issue)

I never used tinder so I'm not sure about the options there. Is it possible to hide the label but still select which gender(s) you are interested in without having that be displayed?

But anyway... Do what you think you need to do to stay safe. If you think there's a reasonable chance someone you know could find your profile and see that you're bisexual and you do NOT want that then don't use the label there. And if you're looking for men anyway for now then go for "straight" if tinder forces you to display a label.

There's also apps specially for queer women. I guess the risk of someone finding you there whom you would not like to find you there are smaller?! Though obviously not zero. But if you want, you could use multiple apps for not - tinder for meeting men and something else for meeting women.

I'd also like to say that what you put in parenthesis is internalised biphobia. Sure, some queer people look a certain way but there's at least as many (if not more) that do not dress in a stereotypical queer way. Especially people who are closeted. But that does not mean that whatever you look like will automatically not appeal to queer women. Queer people are not a monolith. We like different styles and looks (for ourselves and for potential partners). You will most certainly be someone's type. No matter how "straight" (you think) you look! Think about how invisible bisexuality is and then consider how many people that you cross paths with in a day might actually be queer. You often cannot know from a single glance. Some of those straight-looking people might very well be bi or gay. So "looking straight" (whatever that even means) doesn't mean you're any less queer or that another queer person will not be attracted to you.

Maddie

[thetimekeepers]

before you follow + opinions

byf

i am hazardqueer and anarchoqueer

we switch between i/me and we/us

we are very, very autistic. we are visibly autistic irl and have middling support needs. we require some tone tags in order to properly communicate, and you need to speak in clear language. we rarely mean to offend, please dont take anything we say personal and speak up if we hurt your feelings!

if you know our triggers, tag things as "#tksdl" or "#🕥dl"

i am cringe AND i am free. idgaf what people think of me, genuinely. i dont care if you think im weird or annoying. just block me if you dont like me, or i'll block instead.

opinions

queer stuff we support ALL contradictory labels, including mspec lesbians and gays, lesboys and gaygirls, aspec people, nondysphoric trans people, multigender people, etc etc. i am anti-exclusion and anti-transmed. i support bodily autonomy and safe body modification unconditionally. i am pro-kink.

shipcourse i guess i'm technically profiction but i stay away from darkship content, as it makes me uncomfortable. fiction can be a helpful tool in processing trauma. writing/drawing content including dark topics is not inherently bad, in fact it can be good for healing trauma. however, fetishizing topics such as csem, abuse, and bestiality can only be harmful.

syscourse most plurality can be explained neurologically, but not all plurality is traumagenic. human consciousness is unexplained scientifically. perhaps you just have multiple people in one body with no particular cause. until there is more in-depth research into DID and plurality, i will not exclude any kind of system. i guess we're a pro-endo sysmed? idk. with that said, system hopping does not and cannot exist. leave body-swapping in science fiction.

paraphilic disorders we avoid paraphilia discourse, but technically we could be called pro-para. HOWEVER, para communities often devlove into anti-recovery pro-contact abusive echo chambers that endanger children. if you have a paraphilic disorder, acknowledge it's an illness, and work towards bettering yourself, you're fine. if you are pro-contact or if you engage in paraphilia communities, DNI. animals, children, and corpses cannot consent.

misc we are punk and libleft, specifically a socialist anarchist. we believe the r-slur is unreclaimable due to its definition and etymology. pro-death penalty, but NOT in the hands of governments; instead, the victim and/or their family should be allowed to enact justice however they see fit. black lives matter, #landback, stop asian hate, and free palestine.

[flyingcookierambles]

i’m too cowardly to ask off-anon, but also like to keep record that it was me. im asking a certain someone this lol its 7:27 pm wed 7/12:

hi sorry if this is kinda ramble-y. im an 25+ introverted acearo who has never kissed or dated or "experimented" in high school/college cuz i was too focused on my grades and i think i'd would like to try sex once just see what all the fuss is about but i am also afab non-binary and i'm not "visibly trans" so i just get misgendered a lot as a "cis woman." would you have any advice on trying to not feel gender dysphoria when having sex? like, i feel like if i got flirted with by a cishet man or a cis lesbian woman, i feel like i would feel awkward and dysphoric like they are only attracted to me bc i look like a "woman" and also kinda bad like i am wasting their time. should i try to just put something in a dating/tinder/idk (dating app here) profile like "t4t" or my they/them pronouns or "ace4bi/pan" or "ace4other sex-favorable/curious aces" or a little trans flag emoji or something and hope people take the hint?

while i think i would prefer a 1-on-1 meeting for my first time, i also was worried about going to places like a total stranger's apartment/house/hotel alone and i had briefly thought about trying a public sauna since it did seem safer for the reasons that you gave to previous anon that there would be others around and security, but my city's gay baths is pretty. dinky? if google reviews of 2/5 stars are to be believed, it's kinda gone downhill since 2011 on facilities maintenance/showers/hot tub not working, etc., and is very pricey compared to other bigger cities' bathhouses. just generally disappointing i guess? and as an afab looking person, i think would only be allowed to go in on sundays which i think is their all genders day according to the website? but still, from my outward appearance, i was worried that i would get misgendered by any who approach me as a "girl" or get thought of as that stereotypical cishet girl invading gay bars/queer spaces, etc.

also, i dont like being touched on basically my entire torso/back or neck area, only limbs i think.

do you have any advice for a non-binary curious ultra-virgin/late bloomer with too many conditions for an ideal partner? should i just. try to think real hard about not thinking about getting misgendered and ignore any bad vibes/cbt/gaslight myself out of it??

or should i give up since i doubt that other extroverts who are experienced with no touch aversion issues and just looking to party/have a quick hook-up and have a good time would want to deal with introverted me and my picky-ness and gender/touch issues ruining their weekend/wasting their time?

(also i did kinda look into that surrogacy sex therapists/councilors that are apparently a thing now?? but they look like they're mostly in the cooler PNW/west coast areas. im stuck in plain boring uhh let's say think of ohio-pennsylvania-virginia tri-state area suburbs with limited car transportation. but i can get around the city by bus. its not even the cool east coast, its like mid-atlantic/midwest ugh. even some of those cuddle parties/councilors i had thought of for trying to lessen my touch-aversion are mostly west coast and texas for some reason?? my region is just too boring....)

(again sorry if this is a long ask! ^ ^ )

Edit: it got answered yay plus then a kind internet stranger gave advice a mini essay in the notes nice!

https://www.tumblr.com/drdemonprince/722689420814434304/hi-sorry-if-this-is-kinda-ramble-y-im-an-25?source=share

[seemeafterschool0000]

i so im talking to two girls at once

now dont go thinking im a fuck boi thats leading these girls on. SO, i was at a different school for an event i was chosen to be at due to high acheivment and, lemme tell you i was the most stylish bastard there. so sexy i got the attention of two girls at that school. The first; lets call her A, i met when i asked where the bathroom was. And i mean i did dodge some kid that was in front of me just to ask her, ( she seemed cool and i feel safer with visibly queer people). The second was the vocalist of the schools band, and i guess i happened to catch her eye cuz she asked my friend who studies there for my insta and so did the other girl. so im currently talking to both of the girls that know nothing of each other and i am quite in the moral predicament. what do i do, yall???????

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Queer Men in Children’s Cartoons

idk if ppl have talked about it before but like... while it is great- seriously amazing- that we are getting so much lgbt rep in kids cartoons, I cannot be the only one who feels like there is a lack of mlm relationships still? And this is absolutely not me trying to say there should be less wlw relationships, nor is it a attack on the creators of all these brilliant new kids cartoons! Because im sure it is not their fault / they are just writing from their own experiences (a lot of the creators of these shows are queer women/nb ppl) and the very small amount of rep we get is still great, and there should certainly be more.

More under the cut

I’ve noticed that in a lot of cases, if a character in a kids TV show is going to be queer, they will be a woman (bi, lesbian, etc), or nonbinary (usually coded as afab? at least what I’ve seen). Gay men tend to be background / supporting characters at best, in a lot of cases.

I did look this up because I thought maybe it is just because all the media I’ve personally seen has had majority female casts, or something, but no, it was consistently true in a study I found on the topic, as well.

Link to Study (there is a lot of other interesting info about disability in queer characters too in here!)

Here is what I could decipher from this article. First of all, it looks like I was wrong, and there are more mlm characters than wlw. Looking at this graph, it seems like there are marginally more gay characters than lesbian:

[ID: a graph showing the sexual orientation of animated kid’s characters. Briefly, there are 50 gay characters, 49 lesbian characters, 22 queer, 16 bisexual, 2 pansexual, 1 asexual. End ID]

However, I started to think that this may be because the large majority of gay male characters are placed in supporting roles. And yes, upon looking further, it seemed I was right:

[ID: a screenshot reading ‘Fourteen queer cisgender and trans women represented 56% of the main-character roles, while queer men (though no trans men) represented 36%. End ID]

That is a pretty big difference. Over half of the main characters were queer women, while queer men made up only 36%. Now, this is taken from a small sample size, since again, there is not much representation at all to begin with, and I must note that this only takes US animated kid’s shows into account.

Usually, less representation for men and more for women would be a non-issue, and it is very true that due to the limited amount of representation in general, these findings could even out in a few years. But if the trend does continue, it will be worrying, I think. We have to ask ourselves what the difference is between gay men and lesbians, that make lesbians more visible in children’s media. There is the obvious history of gay men being seen as predators to children, and the general oversexualisation of gay men (not that lesbians aren’t sexualised, but I think the male body is also seen as inherently more overtly sexual- actively sexual rather than passively- which makes men a ‘threat’ rather than a sexual object).

Shows featuring male main characters are also often hypermasculine, making it more ‘taboo’ to make a character queer, which could explain the male/female gap in queer main characters.

Of course, there are endless theories that could be made, but I am neither smart enough nor do I have the free time to go on forever about this. I guess it is just something to keep in mind and be critical of when consuming children’s cartoons, and will be something to keep an eye on in the future.

[smugraccoon137]

Supergirl Season 2 episode 8 Medusa review part 2

If your curious part 1 was just my breakdown of Kara and Mon-els relationship that got way too long. But as always SPOILERS AND GAY THOUGHTS AHEAD

Me and kel get so excited when Lenas in an episode. Like practically giddy. I can’t help smiling when shes on screen honestly. And yes Katie McGrath is beautiful, but beyond that such a pretty smile and lovely voice. I’m sure ratings started to spike when she joined the cast. Okay enough about pretty girls on to the review 

Tipsy fucking Alex though guys I can’t get over this mess of a person. 

Alex: if I have to come out to my mom then I choose to do it drunk

Kara: no your not *yoinks beer*

Alex: wait no my coming out juice

Kara Danvers sneaky sneaker extraordinaire can totally interview Lena and find out Cadmus things without anyone knowing. The confidence this goofball has is top tier

Underrated relationship: Alex and Winn though. I really really love Winn and honestly Alex is such big sister energy to both him and Kara. 

wow Lenas pretty in the interview scene. A touch of auburn hair from the sunlight really makes this shot and we never get to see her with her hair down. Fan service honestly, or maybe she heard a certain beef cake reporter was gonna come by and wanted to dazzel her.

Lena: hair up is for business. Hair down is for flirting friendship time with Kara

Poor baby thinks she falls short nooooo. Your doing your best godamn your only like 25 jesus. Kara give her a hug she needs love and affection

Kara thinks shes being so sneaky in this interview. Such a golden retriever, bad at sneakin. As soon as she toes the line Lena catches on and kicks her out. Really good acting in the scene, the subtle change in expression to show Lenas guard raising. Good job Katie.

Real quick Lena why is your office so ugly? How do you keep it clean? You spend 99% of your days in this place and its whiter than a hospital room. I hate it. Why is your desk an oval? and why does it have a hole in it? Kara cant eat you out in secret anymore damn. 

OOHHHhhhh noooo the fucking gas bomb in the bar what the fuck. EVERYBODIES DEAD JESUS WHAT WAS THAT

Poor Mon-el. What happened at the bar was fucked up, and he feels like its fault when its obviously not.

Love that he and Kara are having bro time playing some Monopoly. Oh no not Kara asking if he likes her. Honestly thought these two had good chemistry in this scene. Im a sucker for dumbass not understanding certain words and phrases. So Kara having to reiterate her questions and finally being like “You don’t want to mate with me do you?” was super fun. Omegaverse vibes mfs. Although I am confused by mon-els reaction “I mean have you seen the kind of women I’ve been attracting?” I honestly don’t know what this means.

Kara internal reaction though: Oh thank god

Wow Kara really just has no regard for her own life, huh? she just opens the door and possibly contaminates herself. It’s good to want to help people, but love you gotta care about yourself too

Good reveal with the fortress of solitude. Oof Kara gonna feel like its her fault all those aliens died and mon-els sick. They do a really good job of showing Karas relationship with her parents through their holograms. She wants so badly to see them again, to talk to them. And she can, but not really. They just aren’t real.

Lena cattily to her mother: im used to celebrating holiday weekends alone at my desk

me to Kara: please invite her to thanksgiving

Okay so Lena being adopted is another interesting parallel to Kara. Also the fact that both Kara and Lena fall into there families shadows, and are left behhind or forgotten. Really interesting how Lena and Karas relationship is so similar to Clark and Lex’s for obvious purposes. Though the CW queer coding the fuck out of their relationship in Smallville really only adds to Supercorp fever. Its always been Homoerotic subtext Harold!

Me watching Lena and Lillian trade verbal blows: Wow ya’lls relationship is fucked up. Lex and Lionelle would spar and fence but you two are on another level jesus

oooooof that last line. 

Lena: I know your lying

Lillian: and how could you possibly know that?

Lena: because you told me you loved me. And we both know thats not true

Who wrote this jesus fuck my heart. The PAIN.

Bonus thought Lena thinks Karas smart. Goofball beefcake sneaky sneakster who doesnt know the difference between flirting and friendship is smart she thinks. I love these idiots

Wow Kara just doesn’t wait huh? Oh cadmus is going to be at LCorp? Not on my watch. Lena’s there. I know this because I tune into her heart beat just to check on her cus she likes to work late. Don’t worry Alex it’s for friendship reasons.

That LCorp security guard got princess carried for .2 seconds. Best moment of his life.

God its like dark out. Lenas working on a holiday weekend into the night. I hate this, give her friends.

Lena looks so scared when Kara gets thrown into the giant LCorp sign

And then hurt Kara looking up at her with dread.

Kara internal: fuck don’t come out now. I came here to save you

God I love the protectiveness. Its *chefs kiss*. Hank throwing the beam at Lena and Kara even in her hurt state throwing herself in front of it. Sometimes self sacrifice is gay. But how Lena looks at her after wards like “I can’t believe I’m alive. I can’t believe she chose to save me”. Met with a gruff “Get out of here!”. mm yes this is my kind of content. Fight for me.

I was robbed an aftercare scene but I doubt it will be the last time. (*COUGHS* the “im leaving” phone call *COUGHS*)

Talking about the virus Eliza: what about Lena Luthor?

Kara: What about her?! (super defensive is also a super power maam)

Winn: Luthors can be pretty good actors

Kara: No, I looked into LENAS EYES. She doesn’t know anything about cadmus or her mother

J’onzz: Would you stake Mon-els life on that?

well I guess that really puts Lena and Mon-el right next to each other in priorities huh? Which one is more important? 

Wow Lena totally has a crush on Supergirl after that. Flustered dork. 

Lena: *laughs nervously* you know that doors not really an entrance

Kara: *upsettit stone face pupper*

Lena: :,) 

Okay but the way Lena just says “Anything” all breathless and helpful when Kara says she needs her help. Shes crushin hard

Kara tells Lena her mother is in charge of Cadmus. 

Lena: >:(

Annnd the crush is dead. That did not last long. Really love that Lena has such a different relationship with Kara vs Supergirl though, good dynamic having her reactions so different. Which I believe actually relates as a Clark and Lois parallel? Seeing as how Lois has two separate relationships with Clark and Superman. 

OOf the way Lenas throat bobs with genuine sadness because who she thought Supergirl was is wrong. Shes just like the rest of them. Thinks Lena is just another crazy Luthor. It hurts

Kara: I know what its like to be disillusioned by our parents, but Im a pretty good judge of character, and you are not like your mother. She is cold and dangerous. And you are too good and too smart to follow in her path. Be your own Hero.

Wow just what a good line. They are capable of some things here and there arent they? Melissa's delivery on this is excellent. And the way Katie McGrath is able to show such depth of sadness and bitterness even from a shot of her BACK is really cool. Great acting in this scene in particular. And I can see why the “desperation to be good” is such a highlighted part of these two relationship. Its the one thing in common between Lena and Supergirl, the place where they can meet in the middle. And the way Lena looks after her as she leaves! AHHH thats the good shit, the pining

Okay big Mon-el scene in coming so if you dont want to hear my ranting skip over this part. 

Funny how as soon as Kara has this big impactful scene with Lena full of tension and emotion the writers were like: shit we almost forgot Mon-els dying. 

Kara: *staring sadly back into Lenas office kind of wanting to go back in*

Writers: *cough cough* KARA He’s DYINGGGG

Kara: Oh shit right. Mon-el Oh no. My *looks at poorly written handwriting on her palm* romantic interest?

Wow Mon-el looks like shit, poor guy. Someone swaddle this pillow princess and get him some soup.

Heres a question. Kara is visibly upset that Mon-el is dying. Is it because she’s sad that the guy shes likes is dying. Because her friend is dying? Because her father created the virus thats killing him (what the writers want us to think)? Or because no matter what Kara does the people she loves keep falling through the cracks and shes helpless to stop it?

Her parents. Clark. Her adoptive father. Now Lena. Now Mon-el. Why can’t she ever do anything? Why is it always her fault? This poor kid has some deep seeded abandonment issues

Mon-el: you know you look beautiful with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders.

I do remember my reaction here, cus I thought this was a weird line. A line that was obviously meant to be romantic and complimentary, but it felt unsettled in my stomach. Coming back and watching the scene it sits even more uncomfortably there. He obviously means well, but this line is kind of just shitty. Its a very selfish and unthoughtful thing to say to someone. 

Kara’s entire fucking life has revolved around other people and making sure they are happy and taken care of. But having “failed” at such a young age to do the impossible things asked of her (carrying on Kryptons legacy, raising Clark) she overcompensates. Any normal person would just make their life revolve around their family and friends, not healthy but it works. But Kara feels responsibility over an entire world of lost people and lives. So the amount she overcompensates is ungodly. She does have the weight of worlds on her shoulders. This is not a joke or hyperbole. Its just her life. And thats so fucking shitty. And to have someone actually see that and acknowledge it. To make it a reality so to speak. Then to have them say “yeah you look good like this” while you’re a shaking Atlas being crushed. It is just a little too much isn’t it? That pain to have someone see you finally, and then completely miss the point. For them to go “oh wow your so strong. your so brave” instead of “let me help you. you shouldn’t have to do this at all, forget by yourself. But now I am here”. 

I imagine this was the scene that crowned my darling himbo boy Mon-Hell? Which is so unfortunate. I hope Im wrong, but I feel that his character might just end up a big missed opportunity

I want everyone to know that me and Kel screamed through the entire enxt few seconds of the scene. We knew the kiss was coming from how they were building it up. But god was it painful, especially for it to be delivered after a line like THAT. But yeah very loud angry screaming

Also not to be that bitch but Kara and Mon-els scene was a total of 1:53 RT, and Kara and Lenas ran at a 1:57 RT. Just sayin...

No Lena don’t be evil thats too sexy...

Okay but the way that Lena just tricks Lillian is so good. Shes so clever. And added bonus she makes her ask for her help, which is nice actually. Lillian's obvious vice is weakness and that is often shown in embarrassment. A woman like this asking for help borders that line of weakness and its nice to see on such a dislikable character. Lena didn’t just get what she wanted she got a point over her mother.

Lena looks good in the purple coat. Repeat she is pretty

Love the mental chess game between Lena and Lillian. Lena offering help right off the bat and giving her the isotope free of charge. And then Lillian making Lena launch the virus to prove herself. Good stuff.

Kara appears: don’t do it Lena!

Lena: why not? im a luthor

Okay so obviously Lena switched the Isotope and the Virus won’t work. But thats what makes this line so perfect. Throwing it back in Supergirls face. Like “Yeah, Im a luthor. And Ill show you what im capable of.” But instead of mass death and destruction Lena saves the day. She saved thousands of lives, and its because shes a Luthor that she was able to do that. Really nice way to full circle that 

Wow Lillian really just starts booking it without Lena, huh? bitch

I really love the scene of the virus falling all around National City. The choice of an orangish snow falling was a really really good one. Paired with some excellent music for the mid season finale.

Its sad but I do love Hank just being ready and at peace with death. Im sure he misses his wife and daughters. 

Okay but Lena calling the cops is tea. Send your mom to jail honey. 

So we’re really not gonna talk about how Lena saved everyones asses? Like don’t you think Supergirl would want to talk to the woman that A) kind of tricked her, and B) saved National City. Thats just what makes sense??? But no we’re going to ignore that the DEO is a kind of shit at their job sometimes. And that the woman that they were accusing of having a part to play in all the xenophobic shit is the one who did their job. BY HER SELF. 

Okay rant over. This was a long one review dear god. Really really good episode though. I enjoyed rewatching all the scenes even if it was a mixed bag of feelings. Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed all the screaming!

[uglyfruit]

sooo im experimentally growing out my hair. and as soon as it got long enough to grab onto i started pulling it . i rlly thot after having it shaved for so long i would lose that impulse but i guess no. so far i haven’t been pulling it out nearly as much as i used to but idk if that’ll change as it gets longer. im thinking maybe i can just grow it out and maybe i’ll pull it and i’ll just have to be ok w that. the other option is just keeping my head shaved and being ok w That. which i am for the most part i just wish i had longer hair sometimes. having a shaved makes me feel visibly queer/disabled which is good but also scary🪡🪡🪡🪡 anyway daydreaming abt hair folliclesssss