#not that i have ever had this life experience and not that this is even a remotely appropriate comparison to make. but i imagine this is wha

[bows4tyun]

Can you write virgin reader and Soobin with bad corruption kink pleaseeee, I just read the 2 of your fics and I'm obsessed 🫶🏼

BROKEN ANGEL - ! ⸝⸝ 최수빈

୨ৎ: soobin was always fond of how innocent and pure you were, not having a single clue of all the twisted and dirty thoughts that went through his head, the subtle touches he would give you, or not even how rock hard you had him all the time. he never knew that your innocence would soon effect him like never before.

𓍼 paring ! - husband!soobin x virgin!reader (f)

𓍼 warnings ! - softdom!soobin, sub!reader, they're so in love, massive corruption kink, virginity loss, breast worship, nipple play, praise kink, size training, bulge kink, breeding kink (he really wants to get reader pregnant), lots of kisses, soobin referred as binnie by reader, soobin calls reader bun, bunny, angel, and good girl

-

𓍼 # lexi adds ! - heh i rlly like this one :3 I like this one so much I'll cry in the corner of my room and wish to have a love like this. "thank you anon!" we all say in unison!!

you loved your boyfriend and he loved you too, always showing you how much he loved you with soft kisses everyday or baking you some sweet treats. it had never gone as far as anything sexual.

you don't know why, but it just never happened even after a 2 year marriage with him. of course, you were still a virgin, you had never had a sexual experience with any other man.

if soobin had wanted to then why didn't he just ask? well the answer was simple;

he loved how innocent you were.

soobin was always fond of how innocent and pure you were, not having a single clue of all the twisted and dirty thoughts that went through his head, the subtle touches he would give you, or not even how rock hard you had him all the time. he never knew that your innocence would soon effect him like never before until one fateful day...

it was a day just like any other, soobin was heading back home from work, smiling at the text message he had gotten from you, giving him a small heads up that there would be dinner ready for him as soon as he got back.

he absolutely adored the way you thought ahead for him, and only him. he wanted it to stay like this forever, just you and him, him and his sweet angel.

everything about you was just so perfect an angelic, how did soobin ever get so lucky to have his own real life angel all to himself?

he dreamed of starting a family with you, him working while you stayed home taking care of his babies, it was everything he wanted. but in order to make babies, you had to have sex.

soobin just couldn't get himself to ask for sex, not wanting to break your innocence in any shape or form. you guys were both adult, more than capable of making your own decisions, so maybe this time soobin would have a go at it.

⸝⸝

he felt nervous as he entered your cozy and loving home, being greeted by a warm embrace and small peck on lips right as he step foot inside that dissolved all the nervousness away.

soobin planted a soft kiss on your forehead before you helped him removed his jacket and place on a hook from the coat hanger.

"i made your favourite." your voice calm and collected yet heavy with love and adoration. soobin liked this feeling, being with you, a smile always painted on his face while having you close to him.

with a small nod, he allowed you to lead him to your small dining table of two, the table well organized and ready for the two of you to have a loving and home-cooked meal together.

a small yet gentle smile tugged at soobin's lips once he saw the prepped dinner. instead of sitting down, he hugged you once more, this time more tightly than before. he leaned down enough to whisper in your ear, "what did I do to deserve you?"

a giggle escaped past your lips,feeling ticklish from his whisper against your ear. "binnie, let's eat first."

he leaned back his cute dimple visible as his grinned affectionately, "oh right... yeah let's do that."

⸝⸝

after dinner, soobin had gone to your shared master bedroom to change while you cleaned up and washed the dishes, it was so calm in your house, only the sound of water running bouncing off the walls.

not paying much attention to your surroundings, you're startled when you felt soobin's hands creep up around your waist. "binnie, you scared me!" you say as you turn around to face him. he chuckles at your cute reaction, cupping your face with his hands and pecking you on the lips.

"sorry bun, I'll make it up to you." he says, "anything you want." and he pecks your lips again.

"I don't need anything from you, binnie, just having you here is enough." your words might have sounded cliche but you meant every single thing. he was the most important thing to you and nothing could ever change that.

soobin lets his hands fall to his sides, admiring your beauty for a few seconds, the moment is so sweet, just the two of you, so stupid in love with each other, it was something you'd both cherish forever.

suddenly, your lifted into soobin's arms, startled once more and you yelp as he holds you, carrying you the same way he had on your wedding day.

"soobin!" you squeal.

nothing but a small snicker escapes past his lip as he stares into your eyes, "it's okay, I got you bunny" his voice reassuring as he leads you to your room.

you wrapped your arm around the back of his neck to ensure you don't fall even when you know soobin would never drop you, never in his life.

he took you in the direction of the bed, placing you down on the soft and comfy mattress, admiring your beauty as you laid under him, looking as pure as ever, his angelic wife.

you feel his eyes on you, his warm brown eyes enamoured by your content beauty. the nervousness gets to you, causing a warm feeling to rise to your cheeks, painting them a mellow pink hue and your hand moves to hover over your mouth.

soobin placed a comforting hand on yours, his touch warm. he moves your hand away from your face, keeping it close to your chest. "don't hide yourself from me bunny, I want to see your pretty face..."

your other hand envelopes his as you stare into his eyes. "what are you trying to do binnie...?" your question curious yet innocent as your eyes search his for an answer.

"you've had me worked up for way too long, bun. I can't take it. I want to make love to you, only if you're okay with it, of course. I know it's your first time and I don't want to hurt you," he says, "I'll accept any answer you give me."

his words make you feel an unusual sensation in your core, you're never felt this before.

finally, you nod you head meekly a small "mhm" leaving your mouth. "I've been waiting for you to ask, binnie..." you turn your head and gaze elsewhere, to shy to look him in the eyes.

his face instantly lights up from your response, not believing what he was hearing. his hand moves to your chin as he gently turns your head back and he kisses you, softly and lovingly, just so full of love.

"I'll start slow, don't worry, bun" one by one, pieces of your clothes are removed from your body, leaving you fully exposed and vulnerable in front of him, soobin leaving small kisses on every inch of newly exposed skin he saw, not wanting to miss out on anything. "fuck, can't believe I have you all to myself now, bunny. you're just like an angel, all for me..."

He kisses your lips once more before kneeling in front of your thighs, watching the way your cunt glistens with your slick.

you whine from the desperate need of his touch, you feel like a n animal in heat, it felt pathetic.

"b-binnie..." you stutter from the overwhelming feeling and he stops.

"are you okay? did I hurt you?" his tone of voice sounds alert and concerned for any of your discomfort.

you shake your head, and he leaves from inbetween your legs. "n-no I just..." you say, embarrassed "I want you to touch me... "

"is that what my angel wants, to be pleasured?" he coos softly , caressing your hair and moving his other hand to your breast, squeezing the soft squishy flesh and tweaking at your nipple, drawing mewls to fall from your lips.

"b-binnie...!" you whimper his name out again, not knowing what else to say accept feel the immense feeling of pleasure coursing through your body.

"yeah? you're doing so good, such a good girl..." you moan pathetically at the pet name, not knowing how much you'd actually like it. "you ready to take me in?"

"not yet-!" you watch as soobin's head shoots down and his lips attach to your nipple, sucking lightly, hardening the sensitive bud. you squirm and whimper, you can feel soobin smirking at the sight infront of him, your face contorted in pleasure as your brows furrow and your eyes screw shut.

his lip detach themselves from your nipple, a small string of saliva connecting the two of you together before breaking, he licked his lips in hunger, wanting more. "it's okay, bunny, take your time."

his hands run down your sides in a soothing way, the dim light in the room letting you see all of his features just right. he was so handsome, he always had been. so cute too. you couldn't believe he was your husband. that's when you spoke up, your voice barely above a whisper, "soobin... I'm ready..."

his eyes widen, "a-are you sure...? like, completely sure?"

with a small nod as a gesture, he picks you up again, sitting himself on the bed and placing on on his lap, his head against the headboard.

your clothed core presses against his thigh, a slight whimper escaping from the feeling. you sit on his thigh, your clit pressing against him and you feel a huge burst of pleasure and your eyes close again.

soobin smirks and chuckles at the sight of you pleasuring yourself, his hands on your hips to keep to steady. "there you go, bun. you're getting the hand of it, aren't you?" he says, "now let's get this dick out, wanna do it for me?

you're a bit shocked by his question, your eyes opening only to see his signalling you to take his dick out his pants. you agree to his offer, you hands finding their way down to his bulge, pulling the waistband of his sweatpants down and you grab his hard dick, he hisses at the feeling as you pull it out.

it's huge, you never knew that they could be that big. you're startled a bit, and soobin notices, caressing your hair in a comforting manner. "don't be scared, bun. I'll take care of you, I would never hurt you."

he lifts you from his thigh, tugging your matching laced panties off of your body. throwing it into the pile of your long and forgotten clothes.

"tell me if it hurts and I'll stop, okay?" he says reassuringly, not wanting to scare you away. "I got it binnie, I want to try."

"don't push yourself too hard." he kisses you softly before you align yourself with his cock.

"is this right?" you question innocently, not sure of what you're doing.

he smiles warmly, "perfect. you got this, bunny. just push yourself down of it, okay?"

with his words of affirmation, you're finally able to get yourself to push his cock inside of, it hurts, a lot. the sting pluses through your body but you keep going despite the pain, not wanting to disappoint soobin.

a small cry and hiss leave your lips and soobin stops you from going any further, "bunny don't hurt yourself, please."

"I'm fine binnie..." you whisper, trying to convince him but he doesn't believe you.

"bunny, if you can't handle it, don't keep going, please."

"I can do it..." and with those words you push yourself completely , bottoming yourself on his cock, feeling your skin finally touch his. he's so deep inside of you, his tip kissing your sweet spot just right.

you moan out and pull yourself off his cock, your hole stretched out like never before, but you push yourself back down without soobin's help. he watches as you repeat your actions and fuck yourself up and down on his dick, the pleasure only getting better.

"ah- binnie! f-feels so good...!" you cry out, soobin only admiring the way your tits bounce right in front of his face, his hands moving up to cup them.

"that's right, bunny. you're such a fast learner..." he says in admiration, groping your tits softly "fuck your tits are perfect." he admits, "I'm so glad that I'm the one taking your innocence, angel."

your soft whimpers and moans are absolute music to soobin's ears, he would listen to you all day if he could.

as you bounced on his dick, the sounds of wet and lewd slapping echoes and bounces off the walls. the sounds of your moans and soobin's groans filling the room that was now full of the scent of sex.

"hmph! binnie! I'm feel something in my stomach-!" you grip his shoulders as he grips onto your waist.

"that's a good thing bunny, a very good thing," he huffs out " you're taking me so well, such a good girl... " he can't help himself and begins to thrust up into you, hitting your cervix on repeat, causing your moans to grow louder and even more desperate than before.

"I can't take it...! binnie-!" you find yourself fucked dumb on his cock and soobin feels his balls tighten, knowing his release was soon, very soon.

you finally release on his cock, feeling as it was embarrassingly fast, but you continue to bounce on his dick despite your orgasm.

he suddenly stops you from bouncing, holding you place and he thrusts up with so much power, leaving you only to whimper and moan out pathetic babbles, only fueling soobin to chase his high.

"fuck bunny, im going to fill you up so... good! want me to fill you with our first child, hm? want me to get you round and pregnant?"

you can't understand what he's saying, your mind fucked dumb as you just agree and nod. "yes! yes please binnie...!"

he snickers " I'll give you exactly what you want, bun. you know I always do."

and fill you up he does, right to brim.

he leaves the both of you breathless as he stays snug inside, not wanting to let his cum go to waste. you feel as some of his cum swivels down and wets the mattress under you.

"let's stay like this for a while, hm? want to just hug you and cherish you in my arms. I love you, bunny."

𓍼 taglist ! - @hyunj00 (please lmk if you want to be tagged in any of my future works!)

reblogs are appreciated!

[neptuneiris]

Cruel Summer (07/10)

Hidden Coast

pairing: modern!aemond x fem!reader

summary: feelings continue to flourish stronger than ever and now that you have already experienced life at Crowns, it is now the turn of a certain rich guy to experience life at Black Waves.

words: 9.5k

previous part • series masterlist

okay, let's see how things continue with this story after my long disappearance (sorry, I was very busy with work and my schedule changes) i hope to get support, not just hearts as you need to comment and reblog, please.

i have seen how the activity has dropped in the HOTD world and i don't want to not have more motivation for this story when there are people who want the ending. I have a lot planned and any constructive feedback is more than welcome. thank you guys, enjoy!

"Are you ready?"

You look excitedly at Aemond in front of you, with a small smile on your lips.

"More than ready."

The jet ski's engine purrs softly with Aemond already sitting on top of it, waiting for you, ready to take you for a ride.

It's your first time on one of these bikes and you're clearly excited. Obviously a ride on one of these is afforded by the rich, either because they can afford it or because they have jet skis of their own.

You didn't even see it when Aemond first showed you the yacht. It was off to the side at the yacht, also being maintained and cared for by the people in the harbor that his family pays for maintenance and protection.

And when he let you know that his family also has one of these and showed it to you, you quickly as a little girl and completely thrilled told him that you had always wanted to ride in one of these.

And that's why now you're both here.

You make sure your vest is on properly and take his hand, where he helps you keep your balance as you stand behind him, taking a seat, then wrap your arms around his torso tightly.

"Hold on tight," he tells you, placing his hands on top of yours and watching you over his shoulder, "I won't go very fast but still."

He gives you a few more instructions but the truth is you can't concentrate one hundred percent. Not when he looks like this.

His tousled silver hair, his bare arms, the sunglasses he's wearing and his hands gripping the throttle lever, marking his bones and veins. A truly breathtaking sight, especially when you're holding him so tightly.

Then he again looks at you expectantly over his shoulder and you nod.

"Okay."

He makes sure one last time that you're holding on to him tightly and finally accelerates, both of you gliding out into the open water with the salty ocean air filling your lungs.

You feel the sea breeze begin to hit your face, lifting your hair. There's a lot of motion from the bike cutting through the waves with ease and water splashing in all directions.

Then he accelerates a little faster and you cling to him completely.

You stare in wonder at the horizon, where the ocean is endless and where the sun makes the water sparkle with little silvery glints as you and Aemond get further and further away from the shore by the second.

You leave the hustle and bustle of the beach and the town behind, until only the sea and the immense sky in front of you both remain.

The wind hits hard against your face, as does the breeze every second and you feel the adrenaline take over your whole body, smiling and happy to finally be experiencing this.

"Faster!"

Aemond looks over his shoulder at you and doesn't hesitate to oblige your request. He speeds up even more, and the jet ski glides over the waves with even greater speed, drawing a free and carefree laugh from you.

The force of the wind means you can barely keep your eyes open, but you don't want to miss a second of this view.

You feel your heartbeat accelerate, and the excitement fills you with a seemingly endless energy. Each leap over the waves is like a small flight and you feel like you could fly.

You cling to Aemond's waist tighter, enjoying the moment, here, with him, it couldn't be more perfect.

After a while, Aemond slows down and you look out into the short distance at a place you have seen from many summers ago. Since you were a little girl coming here with your mom, specifically.

You still remember how you excitedly told her that one day you would want to come here. So does Alysanne.

You gaze raptly at the large lighthouse that towers in the middle of the sea, not far off the coast of Sunset's. Aemond circles around it at a slower speed, allowing you to admire it, watching as some eagles fly at the top where the lighthouse ends its height, being a truly beautiful sight.

"Do you want to come up!?"

He asks you over the sound of the engine and the waters crashing against each other with every displacement of the bike. And you watch him in surprise, also excited.

"Sure!"

Aemond speeds toward the pier, where the waves rock gently against the worn pillars and where the place seems anchored in time, as if no change of season or year could alter its stillness.

When the jet ski comes to a stop, Aemond jumps off first, making sure it is securely fastened, and then reaches out to help you. His grip is firm but gentle and comforting, helping to steady you.

Afterwards, you walk together toward the base of the lighthouse, where it stands imposingly in front of you, its white structure contrasting with the evening sky. The paint, though somewhat faded, still reflects the light of the sun's last rays.

“Can we come in?”

“We can,” he nods.

“But is anyone inside?”

“There should be. But it's still early,” he says nonchalantly, ”We'll be gone before they show up.”

The old but sturdy steel door opens with a loud creak as Aemond pushes it open. And you step cautiously in behind him, watching as the light illuminates the interior a little more and with the foot of the stairs just to one side of the large door.

“Watch the steps, they're kind of narrow,” he tells you as he holds the door open for you.

You frown slightly, placing yourself in front of him.

“You've come here before?”

He nods.

“With Daeron, last year.”

You both step further in, and Aemond closes the door behind him.

The interior is cool and quiet. Everything looks too old, too, but still captivating. The little light coming in through small round windows casts irregular patterns on the wall, creating an almost magical feeling.

The two begin to climb the spiraling staircase and Aemond is right, the steps are worn and creak under the weight. Ocean breezes occasionally filter through the windows, and you can smell the salt in the air mixed with the scent of old wood.

“When I was a kid, I used to imagine what it would be like to come up here,” you say as you walk forward, “I've always seen this lighthouse in the distance and…I don't know, I thought it was amazing to come. Dad always told me, in his crazy stories, that you could see the whole world at the top of the lighthouse,” you explain with a small nostalgic smile, ”Although Alysanne always told me it must be no big deal.”

“And why didn't you ever come?” he asks you in a soft voice.

“We didn't have enough money to rent a jet ski,” you admit, ”Mom always said this was for tourists or people with money, which she was right. But… money was needed for other things, not for this.”

He doesn't say anything to you right away, but when you reach the bottom of the stairs, he stops beside you and says in a soft voice, “I'm glad you're doing it now.”

You smile at him, and there's something warm in the way he looks at you, as if he understands what this moment means to you. Finally, you both reach the top.

He steps forward and carefully opens the rusty door leading outside. The metallic creak mingles with the roar of the wind rushing in, bringing with it the salty scent of the ocean.

Excited, you walk through the door and step outside, where the lighthouse culminates in a small circular platform surrounded by a metal railing. And from here, the view takes your breath away.

The horizon stretches as far as the eye can see, the sun slowly sinks into the sea, painting everything with a palette of oranges, pinks and purples. The waves reflect the colors as if they were a liquid canvas, and the sound of the sea below seems amplified, like a constant whisper that envelops everything.

And even though you can't see the whole world, as your dad used to tell you, it's still beautiful.

“It's more beautiful than I imagined,” you murmur, barely able to look away from the landscape.

You feel Aemond approach, his presence solid and comforting behind you. Wordlessly, he wraps his arms around your waist, gently resting his chin on your shoulder.

His embrace is firm but tender, and in that instant, you feel protected, as if this moment was designed just for the two of you. You close your eyes for a moment, letting the wind caress your face and thinking about your dad.

You wonder what it would have been like to be here with him, how he would have told another one of his fantastic stories as the sun illuminated his face.

A lump forms in your throat, and you hold back the urge to cry, because you know that, somehow, he would be happy that you are doing it now.

You turn to Aemond, placing your hands gently on his face. His eye, a deep blue and gray, looks at you with curiosity and something else you can't quite identify, but which fills your chest with warmth.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you tell him with emotion and tenderness.

He smiles, a small but genuine smile, and rests his forehead against yours, letting the moment envelop you both.

You both return to the harbor and Aemond again secures the jet ski next to the yacht, while you wait for him, taking off your life vest.

"Hey, can I borrow your phone?" you ask him, unsure.

He looks at you slightly confused.

"My phone?"

"Yeah, it's just... mine doesn't turn on," you explain briefly and he watches you intently, "It died on the way over here and I want to let Alysanne know I'm staying with you tonight."

"Sure," he tells you with no problem.

He finally manages to secure the jet ski and walks over to you. He places a hand on your shoulder and you both start heading towards the yacht.

"But what's wrong with your phone?" he asks you curious and attentive.

"Well, it's old and the battery is failing," you say a little embarrassed, "It takes about three hours to charge to at least fifty percent."

You both go up to the second floor deck and he slides the doors for you, both of you stepping inside the yacht.

"You need a new one."

He tells you as he walks over to the small kitchen island, picking up his phone and you sigh.

"Yeah, I know. I'll buy one when I get a new job or have it fixed. That's what I always do when it starts to malfunction."

"No need. I'll buy it for you."

"What?"

"Yeah," he shrugs, holding out his phone to you, "I need you to have your phone with you at all times so I can contact you. And obviously I can't do that if it's no working."

"But... no," you look at him completely incredulous and surprised, "No. You can't just buy me a new phone and that's it. You can't do—

"Of course I can, Y/N," he interrupts you completely unconcerned.

"But n-no... it's... it's not..." you babble, "I mean, you can't."

He places a small grin as he rolls his eye and watches you with a condescending look, leaning against the kitchen island in a casual motion.

"And why not, according to you?"

"Because it costs a lot of money!"

"Yeah... and your point?"

"My point..." you remark, still incredulous, "Is that it's a lot of money to buy a new one."

He frowns slightly, still with that little grin on his lips.

"And that's why I can't?"

"Well, I-I... you... I mean—

"Stop doing that," he interrupts you in a soft voice as he sits up and walks over to you, "It's nothing. I can buy you a new one."

He stops in front of you and places a hand on the back of your head and then leaves a soft kiss on your forehead.

"I know it's a lot for you. But I can afford it."

"But... you don't understand," you look at him uncertainly, "I can't afford it. And suddenly having one of these," you point to his phone in your hand, "will draw attention. Besides, I don't want it to look like I'm taking advantage of you."

"Oh, believe me, you can take advantage of me all you want, darling. And I wouldn't mind."

He tells you still with that fucking grin on his lips then leans in and kisses you deeply.

His hands rest on your waist and you bring your free hand to the back of his head, moving your lips against his and gently stroking his hair. Then you both pull apart and he rests his forehead against yours.

"I'm serious," you murmur.

"And so do I," he tells you in a more serious tone of voice, "Don't worry about any of that. You're not taking advantage of me. I want to. Besides, you'd better get used to it."

You gently shake your head.

"You're joking."

"Hm. Are you sure about that?"

He again closes the distance between you and kisses you with more need, though with the same depth as before. You gasp into his mouth and reciprocate his kiss, clinging tighter to him.

His fingers firmly squeeze the skin of your waist and send electric waves throughout your body, as you let yourself be completely enveloped by him.

"I'm dead serious with you."

He says in a husky voice against your lips and you begin to feel the level between the two of you begin to rise, becoming more desperate and needy.

"No, you're not."

"You think so, baby?"

He cooed and before you can say anything else, he interrupts you by attacking your lips again and lifting you off your hips, causing you to wrap your legs around his torso.

You let out a surprised little laugh as he settles you better in his arms and heads for the stairs. Or towards the bedroom, specifically.

You watch Alysanne with a huge smile and a dreamy look on your face as you finish telling her all about your day yesterday and how much fun you had with Aemond.

“And how was your night?” she inquires you with that mischievous look.

Instantly your cheeks burn and you look at her with embarrassment mixed with reproach.

“I don't intend to tell you anything about it.”

But she can already get the idea just by looking at your reaction.

“Lucky bitch.”

You let out a small laugh, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“You could have these experiences too, you know?”

“Which ones, specifically?”

You look at her with an obvious look.

“You know, the yacht, the jet skis, and life at Crown's.”

She rolls her eyes, letting out a sigh.

“You mean because of Cregan?”

“Who else?” you inquire, ”Why hasn't anything happened between the two of you? It's weird.”

“Cause it would be weird.”

“Weird?” you look at her blankly.

“A guy from Crown's with a girl from Black Waves.”

“Oh, come on,” you look at her incredulously, ”Are you not seeing my situation? Besides…” you say, remembering, ”didn't you tell me that if you were in my place with Aemond, you'd agree to be with him?”

“Well, yes but… Cregan hasn't really acted or said anything to me,” she justifies herself, “Yes, I've seen his looks, his actions and his behaviors but,” she sighs, “I don't know. He hasn't really come on to me.”

“Come on, you and Cregan together is easier and less complicated than Aemond and I,” you say, ”Cregan has no girlfriend and no responsibilities. He doesn't have to please his father and he has a lot of freedom.”

She is silent for a few seconds, thoughtfully, staring at a spot in the room.

“Yeah, I know.“

She lets out a sigh again and neither of you say anything else for a few long seconds. Until she speaks again.

“By the way…” she, thoughtfully, “Since you talked about his dad and his girlfriend, how exactly are you and Aemond doing so you don't get caught?”

“Well…” you murmur, “ His dad he doesn't see much of him in the day. Only Aemond knows the days when he's going to need him and is there for him. With his siblings and mom it's easier. He only says he wants to be alone and leaves home to meet me on the pier or in the harbor.”

“And Floris?”

“He tells her that he's busy getting ready to take his management course before he goes off to college,” you explain, “And it's not totally untrue. When he's with me, I've seen him looking up program recommendations and reviews online.”

“Hm, very clever,” she says as she nods then lies back on the bed completely, “I don't know about you but I find your whole situation… exciting,” she says as she looks at you with a small smile.

“Exciting how?”

“I mean, like exciting and scary at the same time,” she explains, “And also like a movie-like, of forbidden love. The rich guy and the poor girl who can't be together because they'll be judged before society, you know?”

You raise your eyebrows slightly at the comment, amused.

“Well, it's not totally far from reality.”

“Like the prince and the commoner, the millionaire and the maid, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, Noah and Ally, Romeo and Juliet—

“Romeo and Juliet?” you interrupt her, amused and incredulous, ”I hope neither or both of us have to die so we can be together in heaven.”

“Well, you know, two completely opposite worlds doomed to be apart…though without the tragic ending, please,” she says as she laughs, sitting up a bit from the bed and propping herself up on her elbows, ”But, you know, it would also be like Jack and Rose. Although you'd be Jack and Aemond would be Rose.”

You frown, watching her.

“You, poor and free,” she points at you with her index finger, “Him, rich and trapped in world he hates with a dad who hates too.”

“I hope our story doesn't end up sinking like a giant ship in the middle of the ocean,” you mutter.

“Okay, so another example… like, um… Aladdin,” she snaps her fingers, “But it would also be the other way around, you, a thief of the streets, him, a prince with the full weight of his kingdom's expectations. Although…“ she pauses and looks at you mischievously, "Aemond doesn't have a magic carpet, does he?”

You laugh and shake your head.

“No, but he does have a jet ski.”

“And a late model car, a yacht, a mansion..” she lists, “Businesses, infinite credit cards—

“Yes, but that's not why I'm with him,” you interrupt her, indignant.

“I know but you get my point, right? The whole forbidden love thing, with restrictions, secret meetings, no freedom and where everything can end well… or bad,” she tells you with a look and a condescending tone, ”Obviously you both want to be together. But if you get caught, there will be a scandal all over town and who knows how his family will react. And Floris too.”

You look at her again confused.

“We had already had this conversation and you were the one who told me to take the risk?”

“Yes but that's not what I'm talking about.”

“Then?”

She sighs and looks at you with a more serious look.

“You and Aemond must have a plan if that happens.”

“A plan?” you repeat.

“Yeah. Have you two talked about what you'll do if you get caught?"

“Yeah… well, sort of, when he went looking for me with Cregan,” you explain, "The plan…” you start to say, trying to sound more confident than you feel, “is that he'll protect me.”

“Protect you?” she repeats, confused, ”How?”

“Well, we didn't exactly say those words but, basically, he won't let his or Floris' family near me. I just have to stay on my side of town and… I'll be fine.”

She folds her arms, expectantly.

“And then?”

You sigh.

“We won't be able to talk or… see each other, obviously.”

“But he's going to fight his family and his dad, right? To do what he wants and to be with you… right?”

“That's the plan,” you nod, '“If all goes well, that would be a miracle but if it doesn't…” you watch her fearfully, “We'll have to say goodbye.”

Alysanne gestures as she lets out a sigh again.

“Maybe this will be harder and riskier than I thought.”

“Yeah, I knew you'd say that after convincing me to be with him clandestinely,” you tell her with a scowl.

“Y/N, look—

“But you're right,” you interrupt her again, ”I mean, I knew all along. I know the risks we're taking and yet… I'm willing to do it and so is he. We both talked about it and we know this won't be easy, but it's what we want.”

She looks at you quietly, her expression in slight concern.

“Aemond has to deal with and please his family's expectations and control, without being able to do what he really wants. And I… I want to help him, to make him live, enjoy and have some freedom, if only for a moment.”

“Even if that freedom is temporary and you both end up very hurt?”

You shrug, shaking your head.

“It will have been worth it. Because, at least, we'll have tried. Or that's what you told me, if I remember correctly.”

She lets out a laugh and you follow her instantly, where after you both fall silent, as she watches you with a soft smile.

“I guess you're brave after all… or stubborn, depending on how you look at it.”

You smile, feeling a little lighter.

“Runs in the family. I learned that from you.”

At that moment, her phone rings and she picks it up, while you stand for a few seconds, thoughtfully, staring at a spot in the room.

“We should go now,” she lets you know, looking at her phone screen, “Chase says he's already with the guys at the beach. Cregan's going too.”

“Oh yeah,” you agree, instantly grabbing your phone, “I'll text Aemond to meet us there too.”

You send him the message without a problem, as Alysanne watches you in amusement.

“Doesn't it make you anxious to have to tell the guys about you and Aemond?”

“Why? They already saw us on the beach the other day.”

“Yeah, but… you know, you'll have a lot of explaining to do. A lot.”

“I guess I'll just have to put up with it.”

Pretty soon the two of you head down to the beach, especially the place where you always have the bonfire gatherings. And sure enough, the boys are already there, taking a break before surfing.

But as soon as Sam sets his eyes on you, questions begin to form in his mind, like bubbles, questions that he immediately asks you and that raise more questions in Daniel and Chase.

“How did it come up?”

“What happened?”

“Are you two dating?”

“Is it true that his family has three yachts?”

“Does his family know about the two of you?”

“I'm very confused.”

“He's with Floris, isn't he?”

“He's cheating on Floris with you?”

“So you're the other woman?”

“Will you guys stop?”

Alysanne tells them instantly serious, managing to get all three of them to shut up.

“You guys aren't going to bring that back when he gets here. It's reckless and rude. Do you guys want to embarrass Y/N or have him think us stupid and disrespectful?”

Daniel snorts.

“Please, he's a fucking Targaryen.”

“He already considers us stupid, shitty poor things,” Sam says with a scowl.

“He doesn't consider Y/N like that,” Alysanne reminds them.

“But what happened?” Chase insists, looking at you confused and interested, 'I always thought it would be Cregan and her,” he points to your cousin, “But Aemond Targaryen and you?” he says incredulously, “I mean, really, when and what happened?”

You step forward towards them, letting out a sigh.

“I'll tell you everything but first promise not to act weird around him and try to include him to the group,” you tell them seriously.

“Include him in the group?” Sam repeats incredulously.

“I don't understand anything,” Daniel also says.

So, you explain. You tell them about everything, from the beginning at the pier until now, answering their questions, taking advantage of the fact that he hasn't arrived yet.

You explain to them about his relationship with Floris, a brief explanation of his relationship with his father and what he has to do obligatorily for his family's business, or rather empire.

And also what the two are doing together, all in secret. At least it makes them less confused and they have a clearer idea of what is going on between the two of you.

And although the three of them promised not to be weird around him and to include him in the group, as soon as Aemond arrives and you introduce him, in fact they include him instantly, but not being weird, they don't do it well.

And everything you explained to them, they corroborate with him, talking to him about it and asking him questions, while you all wait for Cregan sitting in the sand.

“Your old man not letting you live, even make your own decisions, must be awful, dude.”

Sam says to Aemond with a look of pity on his side, at the same time Chase and Daniel corroborate in conversation.

“I mean, you're of age now, aren't you?”

“Yeah but having a dad like his… you don't really have much of a choice.”

“What do you mean? Like a powerful, rich, influential dad?”

“Guys,” you mumble, looking apologetically at Aemond beside you.

But he only remains silent, with a small soft smile on his lips, simply listening to them.

“No, no, we're just saying it must be awful.”

“Yeah but it's not that awful either… is it?” Daniel says doubtfully, “I mean, you still have it all, like a very expensive car…” he points to his car parked in the distance, “yachts, lots of money and pretty much life settled, bro.”

Alysanne rolls her eyes and turns to Aemond.

“Excuse him. You're with a bunch of poor people, it's obvious we're not going to understand.”

“No, it's okay,” Aemond says still with his little smile, ”I understand you have a different point of view.”

“It's not all about money and everything you can buy with it,” Sam agrees.

“But it is,” Chase shrugs, “In a way.”

“We don't have those things, dude,” Daniel says, “We have to work, make a living, somehow survive, while you don't have to do anything because you already have everything,” he points to Aemond, “And don't get me wrong, I'm not reproaching you, it's just that…” he sighs, “The rich people I know here have a fucking habit of complicating things in their families and they're not able to fix it and be happy.”

The circle goes completely silent for a moment. That's because Daniel has said what all the people in Black Waves and you as a group of friends, is exactly what you think.

It's something you've always talked about, about the rich people in Sunsets who have everything except love and understanding in their families. And that's exactly why they're not happy.

And on the other side, the poor, they have the love, the family unity, except the money and the proper living conditions that they want to have all the material things that the rich have that the rich don't enjoy because of these voids and problems in their families.

Obviously there are different opinions on this which are totally respectable, but this is something that your friends and you have seen since you were little in Sunsets. Even Cregan has corroborated the idea about what he has seen in his world.

When in the middle of the silence, suddenly Aemond speaks up.

“I understand what you're saying and you're right, very right actually,” he nods, looking at Daniel, “That's exactly what's going on in my family. There is… no love, no empathy, no communication and everything is…” he sighs, "fucked up."

Everyone around him watches him, listens to him, as do you, instantly feeling sorry for him, even though you tried to avoid it.

“It's all about what you can bring to the table, how you fit into the family 'plan.' But no one stops to ask you what you want or how you feel,” he confesses, ”The only times I've felt loved were with my mother when I was a kid and recently with my sister Hel, nothing else.”

“Are you serious?” Alysanne inquires.

“That sounds… lonely and shitty,” Sam says with a grimace.

“It is,” Aemond nods, ”And when you try to get out of it, even for a moment, the consequences are bad. And not just for you, but for everyone in the family.”

Daniel frowns, crossing his arms.

“That's what I don't understand. If you have everything, so much money… why aren't you able to be happy instead of ruining each other?”

Aemond lets out a dry little laugh, his smile now more bitter.

“Because in my world, happiness is not a priority. It's more about appearance, control and getting more, more money, more power, recognition, respect,” he lists, "And if you deviate from that, you're a problem."

“Dude, all rich people are crazy, I knew it. And your family more so,” Sam says.

“Hey,” you instantly reproach him, with a warning look.

“It's okay, it's not totally a lie,” Aemond tells you, in a soft, calm voice, “And don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for what I have. But I also want more. I want a loving, caring, understanding family. I want freedom, to be able to make my own decisions, to do what I really want to do and not what's expected of me.”

“And why don't you try to, you know… just… drop everything?” Chase asks her, intrigued, ”Rebel, be happy and live your life the way you want to.”

“It's not that simple,” Aemond shakes his head, “I'm my dad's only heir, and someone has to take his place. It doesn't matter if I want to or not. It's my responsibility, and everyone is counting on me for that.”

“But why would you have to do it?” Daniel asks, “I mean, from what you've told, your dad hasn't really done anything for you other than control you. And your family…they just watch and allow it.”

“Because that way I keep my family from exploding and we don't lose everything we have. If it's not me, there's no one else,” Aemond answers him simply and with that bitter tone of resignation.

Silence falls again on the group, where only the waves can be heard breaking softly on the shore and against the big rocks. Also the seagulls, creating a relaxing and less tense atmosphere.

Although even so, everyone watches Aemond from time to time, serious and with slight looks of pity. So do you.

You watch him silently, though not too much for him to notice. And his face, soft and hard to read… is covering all the frustration, sadness and vulnerability he is surely feeling.

Frustration and vulnerability that you feel too, because it's not fair to him. So without saying a word, you reach out and take his hand, squeezing it gently.

Aemond looks down at the joined hands, saying nothing. But what you do see, though, is that little curve at the corner of his lips, smiling softly and returning the gesture with his fingers, wanting to feel you and hold you close to him.

You know it's not much. You know it's not an exit nor can it compare to all the material things he possesses. But it is a support, something meaningful and pure of heart.

“Look, dude…” speaks Chase, finally breaking the silence, scratching the back of his neck, "We're not your family, that's for sure," he lets out a low, awkward little laugh, ”But here between us… we're like one.”

Daniel next to him nods, putting on a small smile.

“It's strange to say this to a person like you, especially being a Targaryen but… if you need support, someone to listen or just a place where you can breathe… you can count on us.”

“We don't have all the money in the world…” Sam says, “neither mansions, nor yachts or cars of the year but…” he looks at everyone with a soft smile to again look at Aemond, “we're here, okay? You won't be alone anymore.”

You look at your three best friends with a small, tender smile contained with emotion and gratitude. His words, though simple, resonate deeply and make a warmth begin to spread from your chest.

And you know Aemond must be feeling exactly the same.

“I know it's hard, Aemond, but you don't have to carry everything by yourself,” Alysanne tells him, ”Seriously, if you need to get away from all that shit for a while, we're here.”

Slowly, you watch Aemond beside you, who doesn't respond right away. You notice how he suddenly becomes a little uncomfortable, stirring slightly where he is sitting, having no idea what to say or how to act.

It's clear he's never been on the receiving end of these kinds of words and gestures before. Knowing that, it breaks your heart a little. But then, there's the small smile on his lips, barely noticeable but so sincere as he watches your friends with a look full of sincerity and gratitude.

“Thank you,” he finally says, his voice softer. “I-I…you don't know how much this means to me. Truly.”

For a moment, no one speaks, but they don't need to. The connection is palpable, an understanding between everyone. So, you rest your cheek on his shoulder, it being a small gesture, but strong enough to convey to him that he is not alone, that you are there, that everyone is there for him.

And the atmosphere, which had previously been charged with tensions and mixed emotions, began to lighten. Chase is the first to speak, animated and looking at Aemond with a huge smile.

“Now, if you're going to officially join the poor people's group, we're going to have to put you through a rite of initiation.”

“Rite of initiation?“ Aemond repeats, amused.

“We don't have any of that,” Alysanne reproaches amused.

“True, we don't, but I wanted to start trying with you.”

Everyone laughed, even Aemond, who for the first time in a long time felt like he could breathe easy. As the group continued to joke around, throwing challenges at him like trying to surf or learning to juggle coconuts, the two of you exchange a glance.

You lean towards him and leave a soft kiss on his cheek before resting your head on his shoulder. The gesture so natural and so warm makes Aemond close his eye for a moment, enjoying the moment and the simple pleasure of being there, with you, just like you.

It feels good to be surrounded by laughter and non-judgmental looks, with people who accept him as he is. And in that moment, Aemond felt something he hadn't experienced in a long time: belonging.

“Okay, well…” Sam starts to say with a mischievous grin, "I don't want to ruin the moment but… did anyone else notice that?" he points his head towards the two of you.

Chase lets out a laugh, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh, of course we noticed.”

Alysanne rolls her eyes again.

“And here they come.”

“Since when is this a thing?” asks Sam.

“Since when do Targaryens accept kisses from commoners?” Daniel feigns surprise as well, holding a hand to his chest.

“Shut up,” you reply with a nervous smile, your cheeks burning.

You try to look away, but Aemond, instead of feeling uncomfortable, smiles knowingly, amused.

“So, what's going on here?” insists Daniel.

“Aren't you going to tell us your clandestine love story?” Sam also says.

“I already told you,” you reproach them, “And you promised not to do this,” you remind them.

“Yeah, but we want both versions,” they justify themselves.

Nothing stops them and they get Aemond to tell them a couple of things, exactly everything you told them.

“But what about Floris? Because if that girl finds out, it's going to be a disaster,” Chase says.

Aemond nods slowly.

“Yeah, Floris… she's part of the problem, but not the only one. My dad is the real obstacle. If he finds out and my whole family—

“It's not going to be pretty,” you complete, looking at your friends with a mixture of concern and determination, ”Then the whole town is going to find out and everything will be in chaos.”

A small silence ensues, where Sam nods thoughtfully, then looking at Chase, Daniel and finally you and Aemond.

“Okay, so all we have to do is help them protect themselves from your crazy family and your bratty girlfriend.”

“Sounds like mission impossible to me,” Daniel says.

Aemond lets out a small chuckle under his breath.

“Thanks, guys,” he says softly, ”For understanding and for not judging.”

“Judging?” repeats Chase with a smile. “Please, we're the last ones to judge. We just want to make sure you don't end up in trouble…or worse.”

The conversation and atmosphere relaxes again with their amused comments and teasing. When a voice exclaims in the distance, approaching.

”Have you already started the party without me!?“

Everyone turns their heads and sees Cregan, in his typical beach clothes and completely relaxed.

“Dude, you took a thousand years!” Chase yells at him.

“Sorry, I had to do a couple of things!” he says then trots over to all of you, closing the distance, ”My dad wanted me to help him out at the company with some doc—

He finishes the sentence abruptly as he sees that recognizable silver hair sitting among your entire group of friends and opens his eyes wide.

“Targaryen!” he exclaims with a huge grin, ”Finally!”

They do that typical male greeting and then he takes a seat next to Alysanne, visibly excited.

“Well, update me. What did you talk about?”

“A crazy family with no love, a son with responsibilities he doesn't want, a forbidden love, and a girlfriend who is actually for convenience,” Sam lists.

After that, the next hour is really about getting to know Aemond better. His favorite movie, favorite color, places he's been, things he likes to do, what things he doesn't, aspects of his life, etc.

Although the boys, especially Sam, kept saying they couldn't believe they now had another rich boy in the select group of the poor. And a Targaryen on top of it.

Cregan was a little offended at first, saying he liked it better when he was the rich guy who got the attention among all of us. Then they started making jokes, chatting, laughing more and it's like they've all known Aemond all their lives.

He had a very good inclusion to the group and he also spent as much time as he could to get to know the guys and Alysanne better.

Afterwards he and you decide to go for a short walk along the shore. You don't really talk about anything important. You just enjoy the moment, laugh, talk about everything and at the same time about nothing, hugging, hand in hand and letting the salty water wet your feet with every step.

And after a while, you return to the group, where Alysanne tells you the plan and you tell Aemond.

“The guys want to go on a ride to the sea.”

“Oh, okay.”

He nods and looks out at the small, worn pier, frowning after a brief inspection.

“And where's the yacht or the launch?”

You're about to answer but someone else does, reaching towards both of you.

“Yacht?” Sam repeats incredulously, stepping up beside you, "Dude…" he lets out a small laugh, ”we don't have any of that. This is Black Waves. But we do have the launch.”

He winks at you both and then trots over to your launch that is anchored to the pier, which was too unnoticed by Aemond, as he thought it must be an old abandoned launch and not really your launch.

“Oh,” he mutters, embarrassed.

You let out a small laugh, intertwining your arm with his.

“Come.”

The two of you follow Sam, who shows Aemond how the old launch actually has a powerful engine and that's more than enough to go sailing for a bit. The seven of you climb in without a problem and soon enough the launch is gliding through the waters.

You notice how he, at first, seems skeptical about the launch's stability, but soon settles in beside you, though somewhat cautiously.

“Just remember not to go near the piers,” you tell Sam as he starts the engine.

“Oh, sure, sure,” he nods, “We wouldn't want them to recognize Prince Charming here.”

Aemond gives him a slight nod of thanks, as you walk over to him and intertwine your arm with his, smiling softly at him.

He returns your small smile and places one of his hands on your thigh, gently caressing your skin, sending small shivers throughout your body as the whole group moves a little further out into the ocean.

After a while of sailing and no one around, Sam stops the launch and soon enough he along with Chase pull out an old fishing box with some hooks and worms.

“Well, crown prince,” Sam says, jumping to his feet, ”Have you ever been taught to fish?”

Aemond frowns slightly.

“Fishing?” he repeats, ”No. We just bought it.”

“That's what we thought,” Chase replies, with a mischievous grin, "Here too the other heir lord knew nothing," he points to Cregan.

He posts a lazy half smile as he relaxes in the sun's rays along with Alysanne, both wearing sunglasses and simply enjoying the moment.

“Yeah, it's true,” he corroborates.

“So you'll learn today,” Daniel concludes, handing him a cane.

“Is this for real?” asks Aemond, as you laugh.

“As serious as the sea is salty,” Sam replies, ”Come on, it's not that complicated.”

With some skepticism but no complaints, Aemond also gets up and follows the three guys to the bow, while you're left relaxing with Alysanne and Cregan, though you don't miss any of the show.

“Just do this,” Chase tells him, showing him how to adjust the hook line and cast the line into the water.

Aemond watches him closely and, after a few clumsy attempts, manages to cast his.

“Not bad!” you exclaim, encouraging him with a smile.

“That was a disaster,” he tells you, looking a little frustrated by his lack of skill, but also amused.

“You're doing well, you just need a little practice,” Daniel encourages him, who explains the tricks of the trade, but without missing the opportunity to joke.

Although the rods are old and clumsy, they manage to catch a couple of small fish, enough to feel a sense of accomplishment.

It takes Aemond a few minutes to settle in, as the breeze caresses his face and the sight of the calm sea seems to begin to influence his mood and comfort.

And after a couple of practice runs, he throws the line back into the water and after a few minutes, manages to catch something, which sparks cheers and exaggerated applause from the others as he quickly pulls the line as Sam has taught him.

“Look at that!” exclaims Chase, laughing, ”The fishing prince!”

The boys encourage each other, sharing a relaxed, friendly, laughter-filled atmosphere, while you watch everything proudly and happily.

You notice how something has changed in him, like he no longer wears that rigidity that characterizes him. His shoulders are slightly slumped, his posture less tense and he is smiling, really smiling and laughing.

You know this is all he needed to disconnect from everything that haunts him and you feel so happy for him to see him looking this good.

After a while, between them they put everything back together and decide to head back to the beach, but not before stopping by a convenience store to buy some chips and a few beers.

Sam and you volunteer, while Aemond stays in the launch with the others, putting on Alysanne's sunglasses and covering his silver hair with Daniel's cap.

Finally, you return to your usual spot, Black Waves beach, where you sit on the logs around a bonfire and the sunset begins to make its show in the sky.

As you settle in with Aemond, you watch as he looks at the screen of his phone and lets out a long breath as he puts it back in his front pocket. This catches your attention as you see the small but visible frown and you look at him with a soft smile.

“Are you okay?”

He instantly looks at you and nods, trying to smile a little.

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah,” he says trying to brush it off.

Just then, you hear the faint sound of when the phone vibrates continuously, indicating an incoming call. Aemond sighs and takes his phone out of his pocket again, where you both see Floris' name on the screen.

Aemond shoots you a glance at your side and sends it straight to voicemail, then places his phone on complete silence and puts it away again.

“She's been calling for hours now. My mom too,” he lets you know.

“And it's not important?” you ask softly.

“No,” he says shaking his head, ”They just want to know where I am.”

“Well, you can tell them so they'll stop calling,” you suggest.

“No, I haven't been home most of the day,” he explains, “They'll try to get me to come back. And I don't want that. I want to…“ he sighs, "I want to stay here a little longer.”

“Okay,” you nod, without a problem.

You take his hand and intertwine it with your own, as the animated guys start talking.

“Alright, Aemond,” Chase says, "Have you ever juggled coconuts?" he asks him as he bends down and picks up three coconuts from the sand.

“Where did you get them?” you ask him instantly amused.

“It's a secret,” he winks at you.

“Is that something people really do?” asks Aemond, amused.

“It is if you're with us,” says Cregan, who appears with three other coconuts in his hands, ”I didn't know either, but they made me learn.”

“Yeah, show him,” Sam tells him, smiling.

“Me first,” Chase interjects, placing himself in the circle first.

He starts juggling them, while Aemond watches him intently,though after a few seconds he drops one, causing a ripple of laughter.

“Dude, shame on you.”

“Weren't you supposed to know?” inquires Alysanne.

“You do it, then,” he challenges her.

Alysanne steps in, taking the coconuts and giving a brief, effortless demonstration. Her moves are fluid and she manages to keep them in the air longer than Chase. And when she finishes, everyone applauds.

“It's a matter of practice,” she says, shrugging, extending the coconuts to Aemond.

“I highly doubt it,” Aemond tells her, but takes the coconuts, willing to give it a try.

After several failed attempts where Alysanne explains along with Sam, he still fails to do it and drops the coconuts to the ground unsuccessfully, though he ends up laughing along with everyone else.

Then Sam stands in the center, juggling and trying the occasional trick, making a spectacle of himself and provoking more laughter at his moves.

“And where did they learn to do that?” asks Aemond with a small smile and interested.

“With the boys in the neighborhood, since we were kids,” says Sam.

Everyone nods, as the atmosphere fills with warmth and the flames of the bonfire dance in the light wind, illuminating everyone's faces as the sunset says its last farewell of the day to bring in the night.

All the guys continue to talk, making the whole group laugh, sharing anecdotes and enjoying the fries and beers while the starry sky and the moon accompany you in the night, as well as the sound of the waves crashing on the shore.

Aemond at your side watches you with a small soft smile and you return it, as the voices of the boys continue to fill the space you are in.

“I understand Cregan now,” he tells you and you look at him intently, ”They're great guys. It's been a long time since I've felt this comfortable in a group.”

“This won't be the last hangout we have,” you remind him, “Almost every day we meet here. Daniel said next time we should go surfing.”

“I'd love to,” he tells you softly, "Although…" he moves closer towards you, speaking low, ”I'm thinking of inviting them to the yacht.”

You raise your eyebrows, smiling.

“Really?”

“This coming weekend my dad will be going away with my mom on a work trip,” he tells you, “Aegon will probably go partying and stay at some girl's house. Hel and Daeron will have the house to themselves and maybe stay in and watch some movies or something.”

“That's perfect,” you say smiling, ”But, what about Floris?”

“I'll tell her that I'll start my lessons. That way she won't come looking for me. Or my siblings can cover for me in case of anything.”

“Are you sure?” you look at him intently.

“Yeah,” he tells you unconcerned, “But don't tell them anything yet. I want it to be a surprise.”

You let out a small laugh, nodding.

“Okay.”

“Dude, your phone,” Cregan says to Aemond suddenly, pointing to his front pocket with his gaze.

You both look in the same direction and see the light from the screen filter through the fabric, so he pulls it out of his pocket and you both see another missed call from Floris.

His jaw line tenses visibly, and then he slides his finger to check the notifications. Among them, a message from Helaena stands out telling him that his mom is worried.

Aemond sighs, letting out a long exhale that seems to take with it some of the calm he had achieved in the last few hours.

“Shit,” he mutters.

“What's wrong?” you ask him intently.

“I have to go,” he says, putting the phone back in his pocket.

The resignation in his voice is palpable, but there's also a hint of annoyance, as if he doesn't want this night to end. And you watch him silently for a moment, not knowing what to say or what to do to comfort him a little.

“I don't want to leave,” he says, his voice low and frustrated.

You grimace slightly and move closer towards him, lifting one of your hands to begin gently running your fingers through his hair, trying to relax him. He instantly closes his eye and takes a big breath, instantly enjoying your touch.

“It's okay,” you murmur, ”We'll go back out with them, don't worry.”

“Yeah, I know, it's just…” he pauses, ”I don't want to go home.”

You are silent for a moment, letting his words settle in the air between you.

“Aemond…” you murmur, wanting to say something to ease that burden he seems to carry.

But before you can continue, he opens his eyes and looks at you with an intensity that leaves you speechless.

“Come with me,” he says suddenly, with a gentleness and a firmness that surprises you.

“What?”

“Yeah," he insists, "Stay with me tonight."

You look at him in surprise, your mind racing a mile a minute.

“You mean… at your place?”

“Yeah,” he tells you a little more animated, excited by the idea.

And you don't know what to say again for a few seconds.

“That's… probably a bad idea,” you tell him softly, ”It's too risky, Aemond.”

He smiles thinly, leaning a little towards you.

“It won't be a bad idea if we're careful. It'll be all right.”

“And how will you be able to get me in?”

“No one will see you. The house is huge,” he tells you nonchalantly, ”We just have to be careful. And tomorrow morning, I'll drive you home.”

Gradually, the idea of going to sleep with him excites you, too, despite the risks. Honestly, you don't want him to leave either, at least not yet. But going with him… it starts to stoke that flame of danger and daring in you.

So with the condition that this can't be a regular thing, your mind finally makes the decision.

Soon after, the two of you say goodbye to the guys. You beg Alysanne to cover for you with her parents one more time, and so you get into Aemond's car. The ride to his house is short, but filled with anticipation.

When you arrive, the sight of his mansion takes your breath away. Lights bathe the imposing facade in a golden glow, and the expansive front garden looks like something out of a postcard.

It's a completely different world from your own, something you always knew, but seeing it up close makes it that much more real.

“I'll go in and talk to my mom first, she must be in the living room,” Aemond tells you as he turns off his car and the two of you are in the huge garage of his house, “I'll see who else is inside and come back for you, okay?”

You nod, feeling a little nervous but excited.

“Okay, but what if someone comes?”

“No one will come. There are all the cars,” he points around, "But if that happens, just hide in here," he points to the inside of his car, "No one will see you."

“Okay,” you nod, ”Just don't take too long, please.”

“I won't, don't worry.”

You stay alone in the car, feeling the seconds seem to lengthen in the gloom of the huge garage.

Your eyes dart around the contours of the space, admiring unwittingly the luxury that surrounds you, the perfectly lined up expensive cars, motorcycles and razers. A world completely unrelated to your own.

Minutes later, the sound of approaching footsteps brings you out of your thoughts. Aemond appears by the car door, his face relaxed.

“We're fine,” he says to you in a soft voice, opening your door and extending a hand towards you.

You take his hand and step carefully out of the car, feeling as if you are crossing an invisible line into forbidden territory. He entwines his fingers with yours, leading you toward a side entrance that leads to the house.

The door opens with a soft click and you step into the lobby of the house. Immediately, the fresh air and the faint scent of flowers and waxed wood envelop you.

Everything around you seems to glow, from the marble floors to the crystal chandelier hanging majestically from the high ceiling.

“Wow,” you murmur, almost breathless as your eyes roam the space.

Aemond lets out a small laugh, holding your hand more firmly. He leads you down wide hallways that are everything you'd expect; disgustingly rich.

There are decorations that look like something out of a museum and furniture that probably cost more than anything you've ever owned in your life. The crystal chandeliers never seem to end and you pass through a bunch of different rooms like an office, a library, the dining room, a small living room, a game room and so on.

Then Aemond guides you to a grand and majestic staircase with a forged iron railing.

As you go up, you see on the wall pictures in perfectly placed frames of the entire Targaryen family from different years, but you can't linger to inspect too much as you both move on in a hurry.

Finally, you both reach the second floor and he takes you to his room, which is almost at the end of the hallway. He opens the door for you and upon entering, it is also as you expected, simply stunning and expensive.

The room is huge, much bigger than you could have imagined. The walls are painted in dark tones that contrast with the light wood furniture.

A king-size bed occupies the center, with luxurious-looking sheets that seem as soft as a cloud. In front, a large television hangs on the wall and to one side are sliding glass doors leading to a balcony with a breathtaking ocean view.

“So this is the rich life,” you say with a mixture of awe and humor, turning to him, “A gigantic bed, a TV bigger than anything I've ever seen and a balcony with a view of the ocean? Sure, it's completely normal.”

Aemond laughs softly, closing the door behind him.

“It's just a room,” he says as he walks over to his closet which is actually another big room, just like his bathroom.

“It's like an apartment inside a mansion,” you reply, letting out a laugh as you walk over to the bed and run your hand across the expensive looking bedspread.

He takes one of his T-shirts from one of his drawers and returns to his room, handing it to you.

“Here, so you'll be comfortable.”

You take the T-shirt and hold it in front of you. It's soft, cotton and smells faintly of him.

“Thank you.”

As you change in the attached bathroom, you can't help but think about how surreal this all is. You never thought you'd experience living this, even for one night. You feel like a celebrity, in some strange way.

When you return, Aemond is sitting on the edge of the bed, taking off his shoes.

“What do you think?” he asks, looking up at you.

“That your bed is delicious,” you reply with a smile as you walk over and sink into the mattress.

Instantly the softness is indescribable and you let out a sigh of pleasure as you settle in.

“Honestly, I don't know how you're going to get me out of here tomorrow.”

He laughs again, dropping his t-shirt to the floor as well as his shorts before joining you on the bed. His skin is exposed, and though you're used to seeing him shirtless by now, something about this situation feels more intimate, more vulnerable.

Aemond settles in next to you, draping an arm around your waist and pulling you closer to him. His warmth is comforting and you let yourself be enveloped by the sense of security he gives you.

And it feels simply wonderful to be here with him.

“Thank you for staying,” he murmurs against your hair.

You smile softly with tenderness, leaning into him and leaving a gentle kiss on his forehead, then bury your face between his neck and chest, closing your eyes and feeling the exhaustion take hold of you.

You both fall silent, enveloped in the tranquility of the night and the distant sound of the sea breaking against the shore. And the only thing you think before you drift off to sleep is that you don't want tomorrow to come.

All you want is to stay this way with him.

series taglist:

@zenka69 @strangersunghoon @deliaseastar @thefireblaze @kythefangirl25 @p45510n4f4shi0n @saturnssrings @bellaisasleep @primroseluna @tinykryptonitewerewolf @barnes70stark @tssf-imagines @valyrianflower

[huginsmemory]

Ford's Dreams; Attraction and Asexuality

In Bill's quips in TBOB on what the characters dream about, the quip he had on Ford caught my eye: "Sixer dreams about a pop quiz that asks him "what are you attracted to?" He usually writes "I'm attracted to logic and preparation." Not sure what to call that! Plansexual?". Immediately upon reading it, it made me question the implicit meanings of that small blurb, on Ford's sexuality (as someone whose aroace) and on the potential reason why such a dream was reoccurring, which I've explored below:

The first of two pages in TBOB on Bill's quips on characters dreams; this page includes Ford's, Dippers, Mabel's and Wendy's dream comments.

First of all, there are two types of quips Bill makes about the characters dreams. First, and the main type of comment, are negatively connotated, generally close to or even are nightmares. Dipper, about over hearing his parents fight about divorce, Mabel who has nightmares about waddles dying, Wendy who dreams about her Mom, who died, Stan's about Ford getting stuck in his science fair experiment, and Pacifica about the lumberjack ghost and blood that doesn't wash off her hands. Most of these are things that play off subconscious or conscious fears or grief (or memories in relation to fear or grief). The second type of quip, are goofs; such as Robbie's real hair colour, or Blubs and Durland only dreaming about each other (both on the other page, not depicted). So where does Ford's comment for in? At first glance, Ford's dream quip somewhat comes out as a goof (especially considering the horrible things he's gone through and seen). But for a central, serious character, and considering the context of the book, I really don't think this is a goof, but more of the first type of quip, on darker/nightmare sort of dreams.

But if it's is a nightmare, then why would a pop quiz about what he's attracted to be nightmare material?

First of all, regarding the set up of the dream, a quiz explicitly implies that you are being judged on your answer. There is a rubric for right or wrong answers, and someone, in a higher position of power, often in an academic institution, judges you by this. Ford is a character that's been clearly driven for the good first half of his life by excellency in academic achievement, and this implies that it's very important to him to get the quiz correct, to have the right answer, and that he fears being wrong.

Now on the subject matter of what the quiz entails; the subject of romance and attraction. Regarding canon, romance isn't one we get particularly clear images on with Ford, compared to Stan who flirts and literally goes out on a date during the series. We only really ever get two direct human interactions that could be implied to be considered romantic in nature (sorry fiddauthor's, there isn't anything from Ford's side of things that imply any extra feelings beyond cherished friend; Fiddleford in the other hand...). These are when he speaks to a girl at a dance and gets juice thrown on him, and in Journal 3 on the page that decodes on the page about himself to "LITTLE CATHY WHAT A DREAM HELD HER HAND AND MADE HER SCREAM". (There is also technically the one throw away line about Ford dating a siren in one of the Lost Legends comics, which would be the only time we know of Ford actually being in a romantic relationship; but that's something that never gets elaborated on, and when Dipper says that he's literally reading from the Bill page from Journal 3, so I'm unsure on the weight of such a statement). Compulsory heteronormativity aside as demanded by censors, both the implied attempts don't go well, and in the second one it directly implies Ford's six fingers are directly part of the reason why he's undesirable. Ford clearly deeply struggles with belonging around his 'weirdness'; case in point with the whole page about it in Journal 3. In this case, his bad luck in romance as a teen, possibly as a result of his 'wierdness', continues to alienate him from other people. As a result, a quiz focusing on romance may further remind Ford about his 'wrongness' as he doesn't have the socially expected romantic relationship.

Stanford's author pages in journal 3. The cipher on the right page decodes to what is described in the paragraph above. Note his emphasis on feeling alienated.

However, what's perhaps more telling about it is that the quiz asks what are you attracted too?, which is more sexual than really romantic in nature. And it's telling because what Ford puts down is logic and preparation. These aren't physical attributes as one may assume to answer these questions; neither is it gendered, or even really based on a person, but rather left open as the concepts (ie, he doesn't say someone who is logical and well-prepared). This Bill even jokes about, with 'plan-sexual'. And Ford's answer is not a typical 'male' answer (in the toxic sense, but also, just generally, since people experience sexual attraction) which Bill also notes with the joke. This 'incorrect' answer could be construed as another thing that's wrong with him, especially back in the day; emphasizing again Ford's wrong-ness and alienation.

Not to mention, beyond those two instances described above (interestingly, these occur previous to Ford's falling out with Stan, in which after he highly prioritizes academic achievement) Ford shows no interest in romantic relationships. This disinterest in pursuing romance is contrary to a lot of people who are still workaholics who have significant others/hook-up on the weekend in their meager time off. Ford's general disinterest in romance is also something that others him, with how our society puts so much emphasis on romantic and sexual relationships. And this is something that IMMEDIATELY caught my eye as someone whose within the general ballpark of aroace; there is a huge amount of alienation from society when you are disinterested in sexual/romantic relationships. Especially when toxic masculinity expects you to constantly be horny. So having someone ask you that question of what you are attracted too is awkward, and depending on the audience, socially difficult question to field. And often an answer to that comes out sounding exactly like Ford's, based on personality rather than physical attributes, if you don't decide to come out (not that Ford would know queer jargon anyways). So this question, posed in a quiz, with Ford being quite Ace-coded, would bring up these feelings of alienation, along with those about failure on not having the right 'answer' regarding attractiveness and the failure of not having a girlfriend.

The infamous Billford page in TBOB, of 'one thing led to another'. Also note Ford saying that Bill's "really got it all figured out".

Now, beyond that, we're also reading this in the context of TBOB. Even before the new info in TBOB, Ford openly worshipped Bill; and in TBOB it becomes clear that they certainly had something going on between them (cough, one thing lead to another, cough). This suggests that Ford found Bill attractive in some form of attraction, whether romantic, sexual or queer-platonic-ish. This especially so, considering the answer Ford puts down; logic and preparation. Bill, who corrected and furthered Ford's knowledge, who came to him as a being of pure knowledge (logic), and who helped him plan the portal, who ironically also had other plans of world domination beyond that (preparation). Bill fits the description, even if he's not human, but Ford's not bothered by that, Ford's a freak himself and it's clear in finding that acceptance he's ecstatic (freak4freak). And that attraction, that care Ford had/has for Bill? Now that's something that's horrifying, something that's filled with guilt, terror, and also embarrassment and fear of how others will react; case in point with Ford literally ripping those journal pages out so the others don't know about the extent of his and Bill's relationship, and in TBOB he acknowledges that. And that's not to mention the potential additives of negative emotions from failing to have attraction for the right person, from failing to meet toxic masculinity standards, and the emphasis of being a freak that made him fall for Bill. Now that's emotionally negatively charged for a fucking nightmare.

Like. Fuck. What are you attracted too? The being that I thought was a god of pure knowledge and thought that strung me along like a fish on line with bait of knowledge and companionship, and I ate that bait, hook, line, and sinker, so deep within my belly I fell in love with him; the being that betrayed me, that wants to destroy my world and used me to do it. The being I shouldn't even love in the first place, because you're supposed to love what's normal, but I've never been able to do that as a freak show. The being I've spent half my life hunting down to kill. And now here I am, with this fucking mess of my own making, after threats and torture and the world ending, and some small fucking part of me still loves him.

So, yeah. I don't think that's just a comedy line. I think that's a line that potentially has way more about Ford's feelings of alienation, of his failure to be attracted to the right person, of guilt and fear around his relationship with Bill, and especially so of others perceiving it.

[thedosianexplorer]

In case this saves anyone else from this pain, I'm going to borrow @thebibliosphere's tag:

^^^GUESS WHO WAS PRESCRIBED THAT MEDICATION FROM AGES 7-16 AND AGAIN AT 29 (it me)

I'm going to guess that the above drug referenced is montelukast (Singulair) because that's the only one I know with a black box warning. Montelukast, brand name Singulair, first became available in the US and UK in 1998. This black box warning did not exist before 2020. That's why I'm writing this, because many of us asthmatics were first prescribed montelukast prior to the risks of this drug being public knowledge when nothing else worked, because it was cheaper, or because our insurance wouldn't cover anything else.

If you are an asthmatic prescribed montelukast and any of the below resonates with your experience, speak to your provider about alternatives immediately:

I was prescribed Singulair in 1998 when my extremely debilitating asthma didn't respond to other treatment. I remember the child version of the drug was chewable and tasted a bit like chalky strawberry. My doctor assured my mother that it was "basically a sugar pill" (a common marketing phrase for the drug in 1998 as it turns out; I even got a Singulair pen to take home instead of a sticker). It worked! It curbed life-threatening asthma attacks and cut down the amount of albuterol I needed, which I had to curb because its carcinogenic properties actively made my respiratory system worse.

It also gave child me terrible insomnia, depression, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, paranoia, and ADHD (yes, current academic research shows a correlation between developing ADHD and long-term use of this drug, especially in kids, due to mechanisms that impact impulse control centers of the brain). This happened basically overnight and I had no idea what was happening to me or the vocabulary to explain it. There was nothing at the time that suggested Singulair could play a role in this. My parents thought I was just throwing a prolonged tantrum over moving/changing schools. The symptoms never went away but I "was a pleasure to have in class" so.

I was told to discontinue the drug in my late teens in favor of Symbicort and the immediate "I have a life to live" feeling kicked in. I'm pretty sure that is a huge factor in me surviving to graduate high school. I wouldn't have known the two things were related until I got laid off in 2021, couldn't afford my Symbicort prescription, and all my marketplace insurance would cover was montelukast. 2021 was the first time I ever had the black box warning read to me. I was told it was just a formality because I "should be fine with a previous history of taking the drug".

I had suicidal depression, psychosis, and paranoia fed to me one pill at a time for several months. Had it not been for the ongoing pandemic I DEFINITELY would have done something impulsive and potentially permanent because of how this drug made me feel. It took several months for me to realize what was happening and for my provider to fight with insurance to cover the Symbicort. Once I discontinued the drug, the fog lifted almost immediately.

I do not in any way regularly experience suicidal ideation or depression so that happening clued me in pretty quickly that something was wrong (I've also had similar side effects with hormonal birth control generic Junel so that is definitely something to keep in mind too). Many patients, advocates, and families who lost loved ones shared similar information in patient forums until it became impossible to ignore and the FDA investigated in 2019. It's subsequently become known that the FDA knew as early as 2009 that montelukast caused intense suicidal ideation and psychological disturbances in children/young adults, that it was known within Merck that this happened prior to the drug receiving FDA approval, and Merck lobbied to have the drug approved anyway, because of course they did (here's a recent link sharing FDA preliminary findings on why this drug behaves this way for some).

I am very grateful to the families who did their very best to understand why their loved ones took their own lives and lobbied the FDA to create a warning for this drug. They very likely saved my life, and certainly saved me from excruciating side effects. I am sorry it took so many deaths to change this. If you or a loved one lives in the US and are struggling with suicidal thoughts, here's a link to warm-lines who don't involve law enforcement.

99% of "mysterious disappearances" esp of people in their 20s who start acting weird for 48 hours and then vanish are not mysterious, thats just when a lot of reality-obliterating mental illness tends to kick in and it's pretty easy to get a short circuit in your brain that makes you go family guy death pose in joshua tree national park. it's not any less tragic, it's just a documented phenomenon and not particularly predictable. its a big reason the medical advice is for people with a family history of schizophrenia to completely avoid weed and psychedelics. "people just go crazy sometimes" is a principle of human health that used to be a lot more accepted prior to the american midcentury and to a certain extent thats a healthier way to conceptualize and prepare for the risk, as opposed to the modern assertion that anyone acting weird is dangerous and broken forever.

[wyervan]

what relationship structure do slasher sun & moon prefer? mono? poly? ambiamorous like me? :3 are they particularly jealous?

Well jeez, I should start by saying that really neither of them have had that much actual experience in romance or dating 😆.

Not to mention, given the time period of the AU and their backgrounds, it’s unlikely Sun and Moon would even be aware of any choices outside of monogamy… at least until they ran away to the circus. I think meeting carnies would challenge many a young person’s preconceived notions about how to live life 🤡.

Moon doesn’t exactly think of himself as a guy who’s built for romance, so I doubt he’s really considered relationships of any structure too carefully.

Sun sometimes daydreams about being in an idealized, aggressively Hallmark romance. It’s a fantasy born from a desire to be loved unconditionally, but also to conform to what he thinks mainstream society expects of him. And they lived happily ever after… and also Moon was there.

The reality is that they’re so entangled in each other’s lives, that it’s impossible to have a relationship with one without also having some form of relationship with the other, even if it’s not romantic. They might not literally share a body like canon DCA, but Slasher Sun and Moon are a package deal 🤞.

Do they get jealous? Of each other? Oh definitely. They might be accustomed to sharing most things, but a relationship with both of them would be at least as messy and contentious as their relationship with each other already is. Jealousy, bickering, and possessiveness abound. Slashers aren’t exactly known for their communication skills 😛

[cjlouwho]

Since we’ve moved onto horny bottom Tommy after they’ve gotten together…

Tommy has been like an insatiable teenager since reuniting with Evan. They haven’t just been having sex either. They talk, they talk DEEP, the wring themselves dry…

And then they PHYSICALLY wring themselves dry.

It’s unlike sex with any partner ever before, even Evan the first time. One might even call it… transformative.

One night a few weeks into working things out again, they had one of their emotional, exhausting deep dives and started to fool around. Tommy automatically started to prep the gorgeous man below him, but Evan stopped him.

“I never thought to ask you before what YOU prefer”.

Tommy told him the honest truth. He’s verse, doesn’t necessarily have a preference, he likes to pleasure his partners, but that yes, he tends to prioritize what his partners want and tends to protect himself from some bad early experiences and let people make assumptions of him. But lately, since they got back together, he’s finding himself constantly wanting to be FILLED, often taking matters into his own hands with a toy at home. That’s never really been a strong urge with partners in the past, or even when he was single. Perhaps because of some less than stellar early experiences, maybe in part because of the expectations set by others and Tommy’s unwillingness to advocate for himself. Or really even consider what HE wanted, let alone express it to others.

Even…before… with Evan, Tommy spent so much time and energy making sure his boyfriend was comfortable and had good experiences he never put himself first. Evan wanted to try it all and turned out LOVED to bottom (and even had some experience being pegged, which Tommy shouldn’t have been so surprised about). Tommy rode Evan a few times early in “part 1”, thinking he was easing him into sex with men, but after that Evan was always so eager that Tommy never steered him otherwise.

Evan cups Tommy’s cheeks in his hands and asks earnestly, “we’re going to revisit all of that later, but what do YOU want RIGHT NOW?”

So Tommy answers just as earnestly “I want you to rail me halfway to the moon.”

Evan’s face glows, grinning from ear to ear, more than happy to meet his boyfriend’s request.

And that’s exactly what he does.

A switch flips that night. Evan starts checking in with Tommy more frequently to ask what he wants to do. Tommy starts giving more hints, learning how to ask outright for things without feeling selfish. Sometimes he wants nothing more than to have Evan’s cock in his mouth. Sometimes he wants to give Evan whatever he needs. Other times he wants to pound into his boyfriend’s ass. And when he wants to be slowly fucked into oblivion, he asks for that. And they TALK about Tommy’s past and what’s usually been expected or assumed of him.

Tommy is soon feeling sexually fulfilled like he never has before. His sex life with Evan “before” was amazing, but now it’s just on a whole new level.

Something else new happens one night while he’s being split open by his hot firefighter. They’ve done it before, but always the other way around. Never had it happen with other partners either because, well expectations of roles and such, but that’s all thrown out the window with Evan.

Tommy is on his back, writhing, trying to get off on his man’s dick hitting his prostate alone. Finally, he’s coming, and as he does he screams to Evan.

“DADDY!”

(Thanks for playing, that was a lot longer than I intended. Perhaps the Tommy calls Daddy movement is next?)

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 52!

can you believe that this is the last rec list of 2024? because wow i can't. time flies... anyway, have a fairly holiday-heavy rec list to end the year with <3

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading! some might also contain spoilers for season 8.

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

benefits | rororowyourboat/@rosieposiepuddingnpie | 4.9k | E

When Eddie is crashing at Buck's place during the COVID shutdown, they start hooking up and... just keep going, even though they both insist to themselves and others that it doesn't mean anything. Unless... it does? literally nothing will ever hit as hard as buddie being friends with benefits but then being so dumb about it for being in love reasons <3 this captures that perfectly!

caffeine high | JessicaMDawn/@jessicamdawn | 13.9k | T

Before Buck was Buck, he was Stefan Everhart, member of a boyband called Caffeine High. His career as a celebrity lasted for only five years, and Buck has done his best to put it behind him, but those experiences still bleed into his daily life. It just so happens that there are some Caffeine High fans among the 118. i love the little peeks into buck's boyband days and how he grew up and turned into the buck we know and love in this au!!

cherry chocolate goodness on a gray day | the_milky_way | 1.3k | GA

Eddie has not a so nice day and all he wants is to snuggle up on his couch with a big tub of ice cream. Buck simply joins him. With his own tub of course. this fic makes me wish i liked cherries. so soft so buddie <3

dreams like a podcast (downloading truth in my ears) | iphigenias/@oatflatwhite | 1.3k | GA

Eddie chucks the tea towel over his shoulder and turns so his hip’s pressed against the counter and he’s facing Buck, who is wrist-deep in lukewarm dishwater and no doubt as bright red as he feels. “I think you’re cool, and smart, and hot, and I love you.” “Okay,” Buck says, stupidly. His fingers are starting to prune. “You know I—me too.” they're so cute <3 one of my favourite domestic fics!!

grief stays outside your house (until you let it in) | justhockey | 2.3k | not rated

Eddie is falling, falling, falling. His legs buckle underneath the weight of all this grief, and when he collapses to the floor the impact causes him to shatter into a thousand tiny pieces. He grips the bat tighter still, even though the guilt of it is burning his palms now - even though the only thing in this room either of them need to be frightened of is him. i'm not a massive angst reader, but every now and then i browse for something in the angst and feels tag because i'm just in the mood for it, and this hit the spot perfectly the other day. so beautifully written <3

if we could be serious we wouldn't be us | BekkaChaos/@bekkachaos | 1.2k | GA

Buck gives Eddie baking lessons. Flour fight leads to laughter and kissing in Eddie’s kitchen. they get a little silly and soft and it's just so good!!

i'll be home for christmas | lecornergirl/@clusterbuck | 1.5k | GA

Christopher had messaged, two weeks ago, and said he didn’t want to spend Christmas in Texas. He’d said his grandmother doesn’t decorate the house right, that she won’t let him put popcorn garlands on the tree, that she’s trying to tell him snickerdoodles aren’t Christmas cookies. He’d said he wants to come home. Or— What he’d said was, can i come and spend christmas with you? the family feels are real <3 i love the hopefulness in this one!!

into it (you've got me tied up) | Snacks_4life | 7k | E

Eddie finds BDSM gear in Buck’s closet, leading to them discussing rope bondage. When Buck suggests they try it out together, Eddie can’t do anything other than agree, even if it’s supposed to be platonic. In the end though, it seems it’s not only Eddie who can’t keep his dirty thoughts to himself. buddie + bondage + getting together = one excellent excellent fic <3

like a dog with a bird at your door | fleetinghearts/@shitouttabuck | 51.2k | E

evan “i love you like a dog” buckley has only ever known how to love like, well, a dog, but maybe eddie diaz is the kinda guy to give a flea-bitten mongrel a forever home. this is so beautifully written!! fantastic characterisation, gorgeous prose... truly all a girl (me) could want. i love the sequel as well!

my true love gave to me | scarmaddiewrites | 10.6k | T

Eddie’s plan to woo Buck at Christmas time. eddie spoiling buck around christmas time is just <3<3 so fluffy so good

rearview blues | clytemnestra/@clytemnestraaa | 16.5k | E

Eddie Diaz is not having a great time in El Paso. eddie might not be having a great time but i sure am <3 the torment nexus is real and i love it so much. beautiful fic!!

see the lights, and hang the stockings | wafflesofdoom/@capseycartwright | 2.6k | GA

Eddie finds out that Buck has never ever had a Christmas stocking of his own. He's very determined to change that and share a few Diaz family traditions. eddie going all in to make sure buck has a good christmas and feels included and loved and only good things my most beloved <3 exactly what i needed this holiday season!!

welcome back to the basement | songbvrd/@songbvrd | 18.4k | E

Buddie as The Basement Yard boys. the pet names!! i love their dynamic here, the dialogue feels so very them. it's just so so good!

[imagitory]

This thought process that Scrooge apparently only changed because the Ghost of Christmas Future scared him s**tless will never not annoy me. Like, wow, way to prove you haven't read the book OR watched any of the dozens and dozens of film adaptations in ages.

From the OG novel --

"They went, the Ghost [of Christmas Past] and Scrooge, across the hall, to a door at the back of the [school]house. It opened before them, and disclosed a long, bare, melancholy room, made barer still by the lines of plain black deal forms and desks. At one of these a lonely boy was reading near a feeble fire; and Scrooge sat down upon a form, and wept to see his poor forgotten self as he used to be."

Scrooge was forced to reflect on the lonely Christmas's of his childhood and he wept, in the company of the first Ghost. Do you think the man we saw at the start of the novel would've ever lamented his childhood circumstances in front of anyone, let alone an entity he'd only just met? I daresay his own nephew Fred had never seen his uncle cry before. And as this scene plays on and Scrooge also remembers how much his younger self was cheered up by the books he'd read -- Robinson Crusoe, Ali Baba -- he comes upon this thought:

"I wish," Scrooge muttered, putting his hand in his pocket, and looking about him, after drying his eyes with his cuff: "but it's too late now." "What is the matter?" asked the Spirit. "Nothing," said Scrooge. "Nothing. There was a boy singing a Christmas Carol at my door last night. I should like to have given him something: that's all."

Yeah! THIS early on in his journey, only a few short pages after meeting the Ghost of Christmas Past, Scrooge has already gotten to the point of connecting his miserable experiences with those of a stranger. THIS early on in the story, Scrooge already shows the capacity for EMPATHY. And as Scrooge's time with the Ghost goes on, this pattern continues -- he sees his beloved deceased sister Fan coming to bring him home one Christmas and thinks of his nephew Fred; he sees his younger self loving his work under Fezziwig and remembers his own loyal employee Bob Crachitt. It's only when the Ghost shows Scrooge his beloved ex Belle living her life out happily with a husband and children that the old miser shuts him out, but that doesn't reverse or negate the changes that have already started happening inside of Scrooge. Even while first meeting the Ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooge's whole demeanor has changed:

"Come in!" said the Ghost. "Come in! And know me better, man!" Scrooge entered timidly, and hung his head before this Spirit. He was not the dogged Scrooge he had been; and though the Spirit's eyes were clear and kind, he did not like to meet them.

Toward the end of their meeting, Scrooge confesses to the Ghost of Christmas Present:

"Spirit," said Scrooge submissively, "conduct me where you will. I went forth last night on compulsion, and I learnt a lesson which is working now. Tonight, if you have aught to teach me, let me profit by it."

And then yeah, while with the Ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooge does learn more and he changes even further! Because of the empathy that's been nurtured in him from his time with the first Ghost, when the Ghost of Christmas Present says he believes that Tiny Tim will die in the future, Scrooge is dismayed.

"No, no," said Scrooge. "Oh, no, kind Spirit! Say he will be spared." "If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, none other of my race," said the Ghost, "will find him here. What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it, and decrease the surplus population." Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words quoted by the Spirit, and was overcome with penitence and grief.

Recently I visited a friend of my mother's for the holidays, and she said something to the effect of "you know this story is a fairy tale because greedy billionaires like Scrooge don't even get scared into becoming better people." But this is my point all the way along -- as much as there are elements of Scrooge getting scared straight in both the book and its many adaptations, Christmas is not about fear: it's about love. And throughout his time with the Ghosts of Christmas Past and Present, Scrooge learns once again how to love. And yeah, perhaps this sort of thing would never work on the likes of Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk, but this isn't about them: it's about Ebenezer Scrooge, a person who became wealthy in large part because he grew up largely alone and unloved and lacking in control of his own life, which prompted him to hoard money at the expense of nurturing loving relationships in a vain attempt to protect himself from the cruelties of the world and in doing so elected to perpetuate those cruelties and then some. This is about a man who has put his own self-preservation -- hell, not even his own life, considering how miserly and lacking in comfort he lives -- over everything else and has forgotten to take stock of the fact that money is useless when one is dead and that truly only one's goodness and love will live on past their deaths. The mere memory of Fezziwig brought youth, warmth, and love back to Scrooge, making him speak like his younger self for the first time in years -- do we ever once hear anything from Scrooge about his terrible father, who left him at boarding school year upon year? The only mention of Scrooge's father in the entire novel is a single offhand line from Fan about how he's gotten better and decided to let Scrooge come home that one Christmas.

Terrible people die alone and can in time be forgotten. Wonderful, remarkable people are loved and cherished forever -- and there are so many of those such people in the world, from all different backgrounds and classes, most of whom are strangers who you've never met and seemingly would have no motive to be kind to, aside from them simply being as human as you. This is what Scrooge learns from the first two Ghosts.

"Scrooge only changed because he saw how nobody mourned him after his death" NO NO NO NO. You don't get it! The last spirit only worked because of the spirits that came before softening him up! If the spirits had shown him dead and ungrieved only it would not work. As the night goes on amid the visits Scrooge is already visibly changing. He's different after the first spirit and even more so after the second. And it's because of how much he's already changed that the final spirit is able to succeed

[velvetvexations]

“B-but if dipper is transmasc then Mabel is transphobic!” Mabel is being mean to him in all of these examples anyways even if he’s 100% a cis man and even if he’s a trans woman??? Not only that but, shocker I know, trans men in real life deal with transphobia All The Time, and it is in fact unfortunately very relatable to consider a character trans and to acknowledge his peers and family may be varying levels of transphobic to him about it.

“It’s so depressing to think about :((“ yeah that’s? Part of it? That he’s treated the way he is is a huge part of the reason he comes across as transmasc, because it is relatable to transmascs that have had a transphobic sister, or parents, or other family member or peer or authority figure they had to suffer through as a teen

The things believing trans men aren’t oppressed does to your brain smh

TRFs cannot deal with a reality where a little girl misgendering her brother a bit doesn't make her ontologically evil

funnily enough this is also the only time you'll ever see them actually acknowledge it's possible for trans men to experience bigotry

[aventurineswife]

Paint the World Pink and Blue

Summary: In the chaotic streets of Zaun, you encounter Jinx, the enigmatic and wild inventor with a penchant for explosions and mischief. What starts as a chance meeting quickly turns into an adventure as Jinx pulls you into her unpredictable world of fireworks, inventions, and chaos. Amidst the noise and danger, a connection sparks between the two of you that might just be the most exciting—and dangerous—thing you’ve ever experienced.

Tags: Jinx x Reader, Fluff and Chaos, Slow Burn (implied potential), Found Family Vibes, Mischief, Humor, Explosions, Mutual Pining (?).

Warnings: Mild descriptions of explosives and chaotic behavior, Slightly reckless actions (typical Jinx behavior), Brief mentions of fear/danger due to Jinx's unpredictable nature.

A/N: first time writing this, I have no idea what I did...🧍‍♀️uhhh, bit ooc ig since I have never watched Arcane... yeah, enjoy.

The chaos of Zaun's night market had never felt more alive. Steam hissed from broken pipes, neon lights flickered like desperate fireflies, and the hum of low chatter merged with the occasional boom from distant experiments gone awry. You weaved your way through the crowd, looking for anything resembling stability in this whirlwind city.

And then there she was.

Jinx stood atop a pile of crates, her eyes alight with excitement as she lit another firework. Her braids whipped around her, the perfect complement to the wild grin plastered across her face. It was hard not to stare. She was mesmerizing in the way that storms are—chaotic, destructive, but impossible to look away from.

You didn’t expect her to notice you, but she did.

“Oi, you!” she called, pointing her oversized flare gun at you, though her tone was more playful than threatening. “You’ve got the face of someone who needs a little more boom in their life.”

Your heart jumped, whether from fear or something else, you couldn’t tell. “I’m good without explosions, thanks...” you replied, hoping humor might save you from whatever chaos she was planning.

Jinx hopped down, her boots landing with a thud against the floor. She closed the distance between you with a few skips, her grin only widening. “Boring answer, cupcake. Lucky for you, I don’t take no for an answer.”

Before you could protest, she grabbed your hand and dragged you off toward a secluded corner of the market. The people around you didn’t even blink; they knew better than to get involved when Jinx was in the mix.

She led you to a makeshift workshop cluttered with half-assembled gadgets, jars of brightly colored powders, and an unsettling amount of explosives. She finally let go of your hand, spinning around to face you. “Alright, here’s the deal: I’m working on something big. Huge. Monumental! But I need a second opinion.”

You raised an eyebrow, glancing at the haphazard pile of mechanical parts and volatile materials. “And you picked me because…?”

“Because you don’t run away screaming when I look at you,” she said, tilting her head with a mock-serious expression. “Plus, you’ve got good vibes. I like vibes.”

Before you could decide whether to be flattered or terrified, she thrust a strange device into your hands. It looked like a cross between a grenade and a music box.

“What… is this?” you asked cautiously.

“A party starter!” she exclaimed, leaning closer until her face was inches from yours. “Pull the pin, and it’s fireworks. For, like, five seconds. Then—BOOM! Confetti. Brilliant, right?”

Her enthusiasm was infectious. You couldn’t help but smile, despite your better judgment. “You’re absolutely out of your mind.”

She laughed, the sound bright and wild. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Her gaze softened slightly, the chaos in her eyes dimming just a fraction. “You’re fun. I like fun.”

The moment lingered, her usual frenetic energy giving way to something quieter. Then, just as quickly, she snapped back to her usual self. “Okay, enough mushy stuff! Test it out!”

You hesitated but pulled the pin. The device whirred to life, shooting out a spray of vibrant fireworks that lit up the dim workshop. True to her word, it ended with a shower of confetti and a loud pop. You couldn’t help but laugh.

“See? Told you it’s a hit!” she said, her grin triumphant. “Stick with me, cupcake, and you’ll never be bored again.”

You weren’t sure what you’d just signed up for, but as she grabbed your hand again and pulled you toward her next adventure, you realized you didn’t care. Chaos had never looked so good.

Should I post the Ekko, Isha and Caitlyn fic too...? Hmmm 🤔🫣👀

[fairycoures]

a littlevery self indulgent, but intimacy struggles with simon riley.

18+ minors do not interact — very vague descriptions of thoughts and negative past experiences with the topic of sex. nothing extremely detailed.

this was written with very little sleep and i've never written for the fandom before so let's see how this goes. also not written with a specific gender in mind but may lean more towards feminine i have not proofread this.

something about the beginning of the relationship, everything is fresh, all those feelings are new and neither wants to shatter that porcelain figure of perfection that this has all felt like so far. kissing, the bits of physical intimacy shared here and there, but nothing past light makeout sessions that always seem to get interrupted by the buzzing of simon’s phone for one reason or another.

the thing is, you could go past that. the barrier that divides the delicate from the ravenous, feral underbelly waiting beneath heated touches when things start to get heavier. but ironically, it’s for the same reason that both you and simon are utterly terrified of even bringing that up.

in simon’s mind, he doesn’t want to damage you. you’re the bloody fucking sun, and what is he? scarred hands that can never truly wash away all the blood, all the things he’s done in his life. how could he be the one to taint one as pure as you?

not to mention, it’s already set in stone that you’re going to run off once the novelty fades. once the idea of having this big, strong shadow always lurking, always protecting. always terrified that you’re the next thing that he’s going to have to lose. every little thing like yourself always dreams of having someone like him until they actually get him. once the honeymoon phase fades and you inevitably realize how damaged he is.

and if he lets you in, if he brings down those walls and grants you a side of himself that he doesn’t even show around his bloody team—the ones who have been by his side through so, so much—and then you leave? he’s already been torn to pieces time and time again and survived. he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to live a life without you in it if he lets you see behind the mask.

it would ruin him.

and you.

you, who have had awful countless experiences with men where, every time you show that side of yourself, the side who isn’t all pretty and perfect and wants to be ruined and put back together with gentle hands. every time things get into sex, they never come back from that.

every conversation has to be turned into a scenario. what were once sweet, affectionate words turn to the sole focus being your body. those rose-colored glasses come right off and you realize that yet again you’ve given your time to someone who was just holding off on showing you that the only thing he cares about is what you can do for him in the bedroom. how good you can make him feel. it was never about you.

simon has been all you knew you needed and everything you couldn’t have fathomed. even with the leaves, the inability to contact him on missions except for rare moments where he can get a cell reception, even with the way the man so far has showed very little of his past to you, it’s never mattered. he has made you feel seen in a way that no one has ever come close to doing.

and if it all turns out to be a facade, you don’t know if your heart could take that type of hurt.

neither of you wants to cross that line for fear of being left, of being hurt, and it’s not like you don’t want each other because god you do. who wouldn’t want simon? the man has arms as thick as tree trunks and thighs to match, he’s built like a brick house and the voice on that man is enough to make your head turn to warm syrup, warmth pooling between your thighs. and who wouldn’t want you? you’re an angel sent down to earth, sent to either bless or curse simon because with the way you plague his every thought, he has to wonder which is which.

but it’s also so much more than that for both of you, it’s just that it’s so bloody hard to look past what has been into what could be.

[ambernotember]

I was in high school in the early 2000s, at an arts high school. A REGIONAL arts program that had students from 4-5 different cities. You want to know how many queer people were out in this regional arts program?

Not. A. Single. One.

There were 3 (?) students that I think we all knew were gay/queer, but not one of them ever said it in the entire time I knew them. One of them literally took another mutual friend to every event the school had, they always joked about how it was completely platonic and they weren’t suited for each other at all, and he still never said the word gay.

There wan’t the queer representation we have now in media, be it music, movies, tv, books, or anything else. (Even when that representation is not perfect!) (Glee didn’t actually start until I was in university? I think? I only watched it if other people were watching it.)

And the students in our arts program — surprisingly progressive for an early 2000s high school — still said and did things that were homophobic and transphobic. And we didn’t do them to be hurtful or harmful, but rather because it was just an accepted part of the vernacular at the time. That doesn’t lessen the harm those things caused, but the intention was never to hurt. We were stupid teenagers doing and saying things we thought were cool.

If Tommy is 40, if they keep him Lou’s age, the most likely choices for popular high school movies at the time would have been American Pie and Dude Where’s My Car. Super bro-y, misogynistic humour, couldn’t mention music or band without hearing “this one time at band camp” jokes (and our school even *had* a band camp every year). If we go with the implication that Tommy always knew he was gay, that really would not have been a safe environment for him and he would have done everything he could have to hide and blend in. If you also use the age of 40, he probably started with the army soon after 9/11 at age 18-19, so he would have gone from that high school environment to the army and DADT. He did what he had to do to survive, and that doesn’t mean those actions and words didn’t hurt other people, but again, the environment we live in today is so different and if you didn’t experience that time, it’s hard to know what it was like.

A lot of the queer people in my friend group didn’t come out until their late 20s/early 30s, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was because we were trying to unlearn that shit too before we could figure ourselves out.

I do think the experiences that we see and hear about from Tommy are ones that resonate with a slightly older crowd; we saw what it was like for people who were out, or who were just different, and if we didn’t wanted to be treated that same way we assimilated. Did it mean we were always kind? To others, or to ourselves? No, of course not. We all said and did shit we regret.

For younger people in the fandom, they might have had high school movie experiences around things like The Perks of Being a Wallflower or Easy A or The Hunger Games, The Fault in our Stars, The Hate U Give, Love Simon, TASM, Lady Bird, Booksmart etc. Not to say these movies, or the movies of the 2010s in general are inherently better, but there was a lot more variety and we were starting to see better messaging from our media.

I think too, as some of the older people in the fandom, we’ve had a long time to think about things and regret them — things I did and said at 16 are now things that happened 2 decades ago, and if you’re only 16, or 20, or even 26, you don’t really have a frame of reference for how much things have changed over 2 decades, or how much you have, because well… you were a baby 2 decades ago. And that’s not a bad thing, but I think it’s hard to realize how much people can change in that amount of time, especially as adults, if you haven’t lived that many years yourself or had that amount of time to change, or the changes you’ve made are going from pre-verbal to verbal. We all have different life experiences and we can’t categorize them as better or worse BECAUSE they’re all different, but if we can’t accept that people live different lives I mean… what are we doing? There are honestly some people in this fandom I would never want to know in person because their opinions are (at this point) that you need to be held to your actions in the past and that people can never change.

I do think people who do bad things and never change should be held accountable. In our little tv world, they’ve really framed Tommy as someone who has changed, and that he and the 118 have overcome his previous shitty behaviour and actions. I mean, the bar scene from Bobby Begins? I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m not spending time outside of work with coworkers I don’t like, and ESPECIALLY not in small settings. Like, if Chim and Hen still didn’t like Tommy then, why would he be there? Even at the end of Hen Begins (our first intro to Tommy in the timeline of episodes airing), he and Sal are shaking hands with her and saying she did good work by the end of the episode. And it cuts to them after the Chief says that several coworkers had submitted complaints on her behalf, coworkers PLURAL, so not just Chimney. Storytelling implication is that it’s the coworkers that would speak to her after that meeting.

Anyways! I just resonate with Tommy as a millennial who came out later, who said some shitty things and did some shitty things and probably treated people shittily in the past, but who has also learned and grown and become a better person since then.

You know, as clunky as Josh's Glee speech was, I really think the SPIRIT of it reveals just why Tommy is such a divisive character, and I honestly think it's because Tommy is AT LEAST an "elder millenial" and possibly late Gen X (cause fuck a timeline am I right?) and portrayed pretty accurately to that experience, and a lot of the people who are so rabidly against him are much younger. And they just cannot fathom the world that queer millennials, elder millenials, and Gen X grew up in and had to survive in. Like, the rules were different guys. So, so different.

So yeah, it makes perfect sense to me that Tommy resonated DEEPLY with a lot of older queer people and a lot of younger people just don't understand why he would.

[meanbossart]

some questions about du drow and his blood magic sorcerer stuff (because i'm so damn curious about lore and sorcerer is one of my favourite classes haha). how did he become a sorcerer? did bhall create him that way and only grant him access to those powers later? did du drow just... not realise he had them until he joined the cult of bhall? did he suddenly stop being a sorcerer after he was infected with the tadpole? does he still have access to those powers but he just doesn't use them? does he still use them but not to the same caliber as before? i can understand not having them after being killed by bhaal and subsequently resurrected by withers, but if they are cut off at a different point, what causes that?

i think that's all the questions i have... sorry if they're too many 😅

(Technically there are indirect spoilers for A Novel Experience in this answer but I don't think its particularly egregious. EITHER WAY I figured I'd mention it.)

I guess sorcery is something bestowed upon him by matter of being a God's spawn, but there's no solid answer here and in truth, it's anyone's guess! He was born with these powers and had a vague but progressive knowledge of their existence as he developed. As I've mentioned before, DU drow killed his foster mother and partner at the age of 10 or 11 - he is not supernaturally strong now (well, I mean that he's only as strong as you would expect a 6'5", 250lbs man to be), and he certainly wasn't back then, either - It was thanks to his sorcery streak that he could take them out at all and swiftly. From that point on, he also had to escape the Underdark all by himself, where said powers probably came in clutch.

I believe that as DU drow grew older, a mixture of forgetfulness and aversion played a role in him pushing the thought of it out of his mind. He did not practice his powers at all as a teenager and focused entirely in what his body was physically capable of doing and enduring - he was often hungry, hurting and lonely, whatever weird blood magic he spurred up as a child, bore no relevance now. In truth, his powers are pretty useless for any purpose besides quickly killing something or healing himself.

It's worth noting too that this sorcery thing is purely in service of lore; DU drow is not a character that I play table-top with and so, his sorcery isn't supposed to function exactly like it would in a game. He has a blood magnetism/molding type power based closely off the Blood Magic's homebrew additional spells. He doesn't have cantrips or domain over any other type of magic like a caster character normally would.

DU drow can only do the following: Hemorrhagia: An AoE spell that draws blood out of a creature's orifices by forceful, magical means until either the caster's concentration is broken or all affected creatures perish. Ineffective against undead or constructs. (Based on the 6th level spell Haemorrhage from the aforementioned homebrew)

Universal Recipient: The human body is like a balm, and DU drow is but a pile of meat-putty; The blood and flesh of others can be absorbed to quicken the healing of small wounds, retain the vitality of the caster, and even regenerate the function of body parts. This also makes him immune to all blood diseases, but not to all blood conditions. This is actually a passive. (Based off of "Theft Of Life".)

(I have a desire to expand upon this but my other ideas are currently irrelevant and/or undercooked. So I'll leave at that for now.)

This is based on his theoretic conception (literally a piece of meat slabbed off of a dead god), and should also explain how he would have been able to survive infancy, childhood, and later, Kressas's experiments.

Upon joining the Bhaalist temple, DU drow would come to better understand and utilize his powers, but it was often more of a threat/punishment used against his own followers rather than something ever employed against victims. He always preferred getting up-and-personal with targets and sacrifices rather than resorting to sorcery, though naturally he still enjoyed the benefits of being Universal Recipient at all times.

DU drow does not recall ever possessing these powers following his brain being scrambled and the tadpole inserted. I can also tell you right now that triggering them by accident is impossible - his rejection of Bhaal as well as his death at the temple, however, did not nullify them. Once again, Universal Recipient does remain in-effect, but the benefits enjoyed by someone who's unaware of how that power functions is far too subtle for DU drow to chuck it up to anything outside the normal range of weirdness that surrounds him. As far as his friends and himself are concerned, he just heals really well sometimes.

Thanks for being curious about it! I had been holding onto this for so long, LOL. I'm glad to finally have a reason to get into it.

[lowkeyerror]

I Had To Come Back

Agatha Harkness x Reader

Word count: 2.1k

Notes: 1st person, Agnes, a bit of angst, happy ending, part 2 to I Can't Do This Anymore

Summary: After you left Agatha in the middle of her fight with Wanda, you thought you'd be able to move on with your life. However, it was a foolish thought considering how deeply you felt for Agatha. So eventually you find yourself back in Westview looking for her.

An: Been a long time since I've written in 1st person, but wanted to keep it cohesive with part 1. I had to follow up after getting a comment from @dandelions4us only 3 years later but hope you enjoy part 2.

Part 1 | Masterlist

I didn’t think moving on would be simple, but I hoped it would be possible. However, without Agatha by my side life had become incredibly dull. It wasn’t a lack of excitement, but a lack of someone to share it with. After all those centuries together, I didn’t want to share it with anyone except her.

When I left her that day, I knew it had to be done. I did everything for her, but I would never be enough. I never wanted to leave, but a person can only come in second place for so long. Second fiddle to a hunger that would never be satiated.

I thought eventually I’d miss her less. That I would be able to move on from what we had, but that was entirely foolish. A woman as enigmatic as Agatha would always leave a mark on my soul.

I fought the feeling for years, unwilling to give in without trying, but fuck, I missed her. I saw her in everything I did. I could hear her calling to me, reaching for me. It was like she put a spell on me, which she very well could’ve.

I knew the truth, the feeling was all mine, no magic necessary. I still loved her, I needed to find her. I don’t know if she’d take me back, if she could forgive me for leaving, but I just needed to see her.

It was surprise to find her still in Westview. The town looked the same from the outside, but I could sense a difference from the people within. I could feel their eyes on me as I walked through the town.

I hated the way I felt their eyes linger on me. An outsider, or maybe they recognized me, either way it made me uncomfortable.

Going up to the house I used to live in was more challenging than I thought it would be. As I walked towards the house, I felt my heart rate picking up.

Maybe if I kept walking the block she'd eventually make an appearance. I didn't have to knock, I wouldn't have to face her. I just needed to know that she was ok, that would satisfy whatever I was feeling. At least that's what I started telling myself.

“Are you here for her?”

I whipped around at the sound of a voice. It was Herb. It was strange seeing him outside of the illusion Wanda casted, it was safe to assume his name wasn’t even Herb.

“I’m just visiting it won’t be long. Not trying to cause any trouble,” I leveled with him.

“Good luck, she’s been a bit off of her rocker since the whole Wanda thing,” he mentions.

That set off some alarms in my mind, “How so?”

“Sharon said Agnes is really into rom-coms this week. It changes pretty often, but I think rom-coms will be better than last week’s war movie theme.”

I tilt my head to the side, “What do you mean?”

“Let’s just say she created an… immersive experience for herself.”

I still don’t quite get what he means, but the only way to find out is if I check for myself. With a few small words of self-encouragement and a few deep breaths, I head over to the house.

I wait on the porch after ringing the doorbell. It doesn’t take long before the door opens. Agatha opens the door, eyes wide as they land on me.

“It’s you,” she whispers to herself.

“It is,” I say shuffling in my spot.

“Why are you here? You think after all this time I’d let you just waltz back into my life? You left me,” she doesn’t make eye contact with me.

My stare hits the ground, “Please, can we just talk. I know I left, but can you really blame me. I didn’t know if you’d ever care about me like I cared about you.”

She ushers me into the house. Her hands on my wrist cold like they usually were. I let her pull me into the kitchen.

“I can’t believe you’re back here after all these years. What brings you to town?”

My eyebrows crease, “I’m only here for you Ags.”

She shakes her head and laughs about, “You’re silly, be honest why come home now?”

I’m even more confused, “Home?”

She pushes your shoulder lightly, “Yes, goofball, home. Westview, the town we grew up in together.”

Worry begins to fill my body, as pieces begin to form together in my mind, “Ag- Agnes?”

“Yes, hun?”

I can’t help, but reach out and grab her face in my hands.

“Y/n what are you-”

I sush her as I look into her eyes. I search for Agatha behind her eyes, and begin to panic when I can’t see her. I can’t help as tears begin to fall.

“What did she do?”

I can tell Agnes is confused, but she uses one of her hands to hold mine in place.

“What’s wrong doll?”

Instantly I lose my last bit of composure, “I’m sorry I’m sorry, I’m sorry. Forgive me, my love… if I would’ve- I shouldn’t have left, I’m sorry.”

Agnes wraps her arms around me. It’s familiar, but different. She holds me up, and swipes at my tears.

“I have you,” she rubs soothing circles on my back but it only makes me cry harder.

My mind is racing. How was I going to fix this? Magic done by the Scarlet Witch herself. If anything I’d need Agatha to guide me more now than ever. Yet the woman was out of my reach. I hoped she was somewhere buried underneath Agnes, but I had no way of knowing.

I pull away to look at her, “I love you.”

A part of her melts away, “You’re a mess, you don’t mean that.”

“I do Ag-Agnes, I mean it more than you can fathom. I love you more than anything and leaving you… it was my greatest mistake. I’ll never forgive myself for it. I won’t ask you to forgive me, but allow me to make it up to you.”

Agnes rests her forehead against mine. My breath hitches as she looks into my eyes. Her breathing slows and she searches my features. It feels like an eternity passes, but eventually she puts her lips against mine.

I freeze and she almost breaks the kiss, but my arms encircle her. I keep her close allowing myself to indulge in this moment, I don’t deserve.

“I’m just happy you came back,” she speaks.

It almost sounds like Agatha, but you know better. It breaks your heart, but you’re devout. You’re going to fix this, you’re going to bring her back.

Agnes didn't have any push back when I asked to stay with her. She let me in and I got a glimpse into what the neighbors were saying about her… intense interests. I found a way to mitigate them, keeping her somewhere in the nosy neighbor medium.

I didn’t sleep much, spending most of my time in Agatha’s hidden space in the house. There were traces of her everywhere, I could practically feel her. The Darkhold was nowhere to be found, but I did come across Agatha’s old notebooks. They were filled with knowledge themselves.

I was hoping to find anything about breaking the spell she was under. She had books filled with her messy handwriting, nearly impossible for anyone else to decipher. It was different for me, I had been with her when she filled them, I could recall sitting watching her write, sometimes for hours at a time. She was always so dedicated to the craft.

It took a little over 7 months, before I found something useful; an incantation. It seemed too easy, like there should’ve been a catch to it. Yet it was my only source of chance.

“Agnes, I want to try something with you. It’s a little unconventional, but I need you to trust me,” I say, hoping she would agree.

She places a kiss on my cheek, “We’re past all the dramatics hun, you know I trust you.”

I nod, “Ok, you’re going to sit here, and I’m going to say some Latin. That's it.”

“Sound easy enough, sweetheart."

I begin to say the incantation while looking into Agnes’s eyes. I can see her shifting in her seat slightly uncomfortable. I can’t tell if the walls of the house are shaking or if it just feels that way.

“Stop,” she mumbled under her breath, but I don’t.

I keep going, and eventually she stands. She starts peeling off her clothes and I almost advert my eyes, until I see her changing. The different versions of her begin to peel back like layers.

When it’s over she’s naked in the living room. I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. I take a knee, unable to fully stand. It feels like all my power has been removed from my body.

“Agatha,” I call out to her, breathlessly. Though it takes all my effort, I lift my head.

“So, you came crawling back.”

It was her, the real her. I could tell by the harsh tone of her voice.

“Welcome back sweetheart,” I can’t help the laugh that escapes me.

“How long has it been?”

I attempt to stand, but end up falling over, “Fuck.”

Agatha walks over, picking me up and easily placing me on the couch, “Now answer my question.”

“I came about 7 months ago. It’s been nearly 3 years since I left,” I look at her.

It’s surreal, seeing Agatha and not Agnes.

“3 years, I’ve been trapped for 3 years,” she says to herself in disbelief.

“Why'd you come back?”

She meets my eyes and refuse to look away, “For you, Agatha. When I found you, or should I say when I found Agnes, I freaked out. The Darkhold is gone, I did my best. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Don’t apologize. You did the right thing, I mean what good would it me if we were both trapped.”

“What if I didn’t come back?”

Agatha sighs, “Then I would’ve gotten what I deserved.”

I grab her hand, “No one deserves anything like that.”

She snatches her hand out of mine, “Oh please, I bet you enjoyed the time with Agnes.”

I shake my head at her jealousy. It’s a testing move, but I hook my finger under her chin, forcing her to look at me, “Agnes was sweet, but she is not the woman I love.”

“The woman you left,” Agatha’s vulnerability shines through.

“The woman I keep coming back to, no matter how much it might hurt me,” I remind her tentatively.

“You deserve more,” she sighs closing her eyes.

I lean in, “I just want you.”

I’m the one who presses my lips to her’s. She doesn’t deny me, caving into her desires. I’m putting everything that I have to give into this kiss. The passion is driving me and Agatha is meeting me every step of the way.

It’s not until my hand grazes against her bare stomach that we both pause, realizing she’s still naked.

“I want you too, more than all of this,” Agatha stares deeply into my eyes.

“You don’t have to choose, it was foolish of me to ask.”

Now it’s Agatha grabbing your hands, “It wasn't, it was reasonable. I had my priorities out of order, you are the most important thing in my life and I'm not willing to lose you again. I love you.”

I kiss the back of her hand, “I love you too.”

The moment we shared was sweet, but it soon was filled with defeat as I noticed my body still felt weak. I could tell something was wrong, I tried to use my magic, but nothing happened.

Agatha uses her powers to dress and they work just fine, yet I could see a remorseful look take over her features.

“Y/n, I think…”

I don’t care to hear the rest, “It’s alright, they always suited you better than me anyway.”

Agatha shakes her, “We can find a way, I can give them back-”

“Don’t be so dramatic, Aggie. I’m fine, it’ll take a little getting used to, but it’s not going to kill me,” I stand with much effort.

I could tell by the look in her eye, that she didn’t believe me, “I stole your powers.”

I roll my eyes, “I gave them to you, and I’d do it again, as long as you’re here with me, I couldn’t care less.”

“Are you sure?”

I nod, “Yes, I’m sure. Now let’s get out of this town, it’s beyond dreadful.”

She takes my hand in hers a mischievous smile on her face, “Anywhere with you, my dear.”

[teyrnacousland]

Thinking about Illario again. Illario has been through a lot. Just as much as Lucanis. He lost his parents at a young age, as well as aunts, uncles, maybe even a sibling. He was raised just as isolated and friendless, and was tortured and neglected as much as Lucanis. Illario is very familiar with grief and loneliness.

And Illario knows Lucanis is going to die soon. They both might, they're Crows, after all, but Lucanis has just... accepted it. He seems to almost want it. He refuses to take any step to prevent or delay that fate. He will never decline dangerous jobs, will never quit, and he will, however reluctantly, accept a position that they both know will place a huge target on his back.

And Illario has to live every day knowing that one of his only two remaining family members, and the only person who actually cares about and loves him, the only person Illario really even likes let alone loves, is going to die. Any day now. He has to think about it on every job they do, every day they continue to be who they are; the only surviving Dellamorte heirs. He has to think about all the loss and grief he's been through, and know that the worst is yet to come. Not that he didn't love his parents, but he was young, and it was so long ago. Losing Lucanis, who he loves, who he's known and loved for like 30 years, will be the worst thing he's ever had to experience and he has to know it.

Have you ever known you're about to lose somebody close to you? Have you ever had to wake up every day with the thought that this could be their last haunting your every waking hour? Have you ever found yourself wishing, even if only in the deepest farthest back part of your thoughts, that they would just die already because you can't take another day of worrying and waiting? I have. Anticipatory grief is hell.

And I think that's where Illario is at with Lucanis. Every day is like that, watching Lucanis tightrope along the edge of death and just waiting for the worst day of his life. Illario doesn't want Lucanis dead, not really. (Even if the thought "I'd be First Talon if you weren't here" has crossed his mind.) He loves Lucanis. But Lucanis is going to die anyways, so he might as well just get it over with. Lucanis himself said his calling is death, and Illario's is First Talon. You could, in a twisted way, argue that this is what Lucanis would have wanted.

Illario has faced loss before and come out the other side, so once Lucanis is gone it'll hurt, but he'll be able to start moving on. And Illario will get what he's always wanted: he'll have proven he's the better Crow, he'll be the favourite (by default), and he'll be First Talon, like he wanted. So he'll be fine. Everything will be fine.

[softness-and-shattering]

Speaking of shared experience across marginalisations, Ive been thinking for a while that in some ways, being Jewish has prepared me for being trans. Ive known near as long as I can remember that there are people who hate me and everyone who shares my identity for the best thing about us. Known that they'll hurt and kill us to try bully us into not being ourselves, and known that you never ever back down from them. You dont let them change you. You take precautions, you learn to judge danger, when things get bad you make sure you have a valid passport and the means to get away. Sometimes you have to hide your identity for safety. Sometimes you need extra security, sometimes you dont walk alone just in case. Sometimes its terrifying, but you cant let the fear rule you. Sometimes you go even harder become even more yourself, embody your identity more people try to make you lessen yourself, till they give up, till you feel strong till you face. You face things as a community. You share fears and security. And you feed people who need. You do things together when youre afraid so you feel the connection and the strength and your own power in who you are. And sometimes the safest thing to do is disengage, de-escalate, move. Dont get into a fight if you can help it. Ive spent my whole life learning these lessons.

And then I see trans people convinced only people exactly like them understand, are safe. And its frustrating to be the one theyre lashing out at but I mostly feel pity. Theres no need to live in this fear. There is danger and its important to be aware and act accordingly, but hiding away and driving away anyone who wants to help is ineffective and harmful to themselves. Fear is big but its not necessary to be alone in it. We have more in common than not, and what we dont have in common we can listen and learn and help each other. Our strength is in each other, as is our courage and our hope and our safety. And yeah people will make mistakes but that comes with humanity, whats important is shared values especially around handling conflict.

Cause Ive also had the experience of being terrified to step outside due to very real danger. But the important thing is to not let bigots or terrorists or whoever to change who we are and what we do. How we do, sure, re precautions and situational awareness and backup plans. Its ok if you need a minute to process the danger, and then you have to get back up and kicking because we're alive. Many many many people live with danger every day, and still live good meaningful impactful joyous lives. And it would be really shit to let bigots bully you into denying yourself your own fullness of life.

I also think that when I see people demanding a *unique* oppression, that they are asking for something impossible and also are very much misunderstanding intersectionality in the first place.

I don't believe any oppression is truly unique. I do think there are faces of oppression that change with the demographic, but more likely than not you as Oppressed Group X have way more in common with Oppressed Group Y than you might think.

But also, Crenshaw's original paper on intersectionality discussed a specific context: black women being skipped over for hire where black men and white women were both getting hired, making that specific context unique to the intersection of black womanhood.

People get skipped over for jobs they are more than qualified for all the time. Even within the paper itself, there is discussion about this happening to black men and white women at other companies, just that this specific company was excluding specifically black women from its pool of candidates due to their specific bias against black women.

Experiencing workplace discrimination and hiring discrimination is not at all unique to black women. The *context* was. It was not "just racism" because black men were being hired, and it was not "just misogyny" because white women were getting hired. It was the intersection of both that resulted in black women being excluded.

When a trans man states that he is being removed from, say, a reproductive rights conversation and it's happening specifically because he is a trans man, what's meant shouldn't be that no one else struggles with reproductive rights. It means that it's not happening to the cis women who are actively leading the conversation, nor is it happening to the cis men who are pitching in. It is, however, happening to anyone with a uterus who is deemed as too "gender devient" to count: trans men, trans women, intersex people, and nonbinary people. Albeit, for different reasons, and the face of which changes depending on the demographic of the person receiving it.

But the conversation around reproductive rights is also one that must include disability, must include race, must include sexuality, must include class, must include age, because these things also have a direct effect on discrimination within the medical field and whether someone truly has access to the autonomy needed to make reproductive choices of their own without others choosing for them.

Similar to how we can understand the context provided in Crenshaw's coining of intersectionality to examine how black women specifically were experiencing something that neither black men nor white women were victim to within that specific example, so too must we understand that these are contextual and circumstantial conversations that will not always be truly unique.

After all, black men and white women do both get rejected for jobs on account of race and gender. Cis women and other marginalized genders frequently must battle for their right to make their own reproductive choices.

But when someone says "this happened to me due to the combination of my race and my gender", we must understand that likely the combination, the intersection, created a unique scenario that cannot be understood by only examining a single piece of that person's identity. So, too, must we understand the same when someone says "this happened due to the combination of my transness and my gender".

So when I see a challenge to name something unique from someone also flinging around the "learn intersectionality" phrase at those who are trying to describe the things that happened to them that hurt them, all I can think is that clearly that person does not understand interaectionality. Nor have they ever actually read the words of the woman who coined it. She's still alive. Her TED talks are on YouTube. Many of her essays are online for free.

Finally, I must remind these people that Crenshaw is not the woman who coined misogynoir, and while both Crenshaw's and Bailey's theories do work in conversation with each other, being discussed by different people does mean there is not a 1-to-1 basis to compare them to. There will be disagreements and inconsistencies between the two because they are two different people.