#not that anyone will understand this tag but my love/hate relationship with this program has been on going since 2018...

[94erz]

Nothing quite like being ready to gif some Namjoon, downloading the video and clipping the part I wanna gif, only for PS to crash every time I open it...not tonight I guess.

[rexx-lapis]

His favorite little farmer// Bull!hybrid Shigaraki x Reader

-> You work as a care keeper in a farm specializing in caws and bulls hybrids. You love all of them but you just can’t help but caring a little bit more for your little Tomura, who in your eyes look so helpless. What you don’t know is that you’re not the only one having not so professional thoughts. So what happened when your favorite hybrid tells you he wants a mate.

Tags: Lot of smut and it’s intense. Bull hybrid Shigaraki. Mention of mating, of knotting. Anal, milking, prostate stimulation, use of toys, sub Shigaraki. Lot of cum. Dacryphylia. Jealous reader and possessive Tomura. Lot of fluff, they just love each other very much. Reader is gender neutral.

I’ve red @hanji-is-life post on bull Bakugou and Deku and I just got a huge brain rot :((

Shigaraki could spend hours just looking at you. From his stable, he loved watching you work, you were so pretty. You were working so hard in the farm, always carrying something and taking good care of the cows. He loved you so much, and that meant a lot because you were the only farm keeper that he allowed to get close to him. None of the others could approach him without getting nasty bites and all. Every bull had their favorite keeper. Bakugou, Kirishima and even Midoriya had their favorite but in the end they all took turn to take care of the bulls. But not you. You were his one and only. No one was mad at him for that, not even you. They all understood. He wasn’t like the others, as he arrived in the farm in a pitiful shape. He was deadly skinny, hurt, and traumatized, unable to let a human near him. Mistreatments towards hybrid were current even more in farms. But farms like he was right now was the proof that it was possible to met good people. You had been the one to take care of him when he arrived, you fed him, washed him, made sure he wasn’t cold. You even slept in the stale next to him to make sure he was okay during the night. Slowly he had warm up to you, as he was becoming a bit more healthy every day. He was still not the biggest bull of the farm but he looked so much better. All because you took care of him. And you were so understanding, taking his defense and never pressuring him into having interaction with others. The only person he needed was you anyway.

“Hi Tomu, how are you today?

-I’m fine... And you?

-I am doing great! The weather is perfect today!”

He smiled slightly, so happy you were here with him.

“Do you want to go outside for a bit? I’ll clean your stable as you go outside.

-Can’t I just stay here with you?

-Tomu, you need to go outside a bit.”

But he really wanted to stay with you. He knew you needed space to work and that he’ll be able to see you soon but he couldn’t help it.

“If you’re nice after you’re time outside I’ll groom you!”

He finally nodded, excited to come back so you can take care of him. You lead him to the outside field, choosing one that was empty, knowing he preferred to be alone. You waved at him goodbye, your hand brushing his shoulder. His ears fluttered and he blushed slightly. He watched you go back inside, noticing how your hips sway from right to left. He couldn’t take his eyes away from your ass until you disappeared behind a wall.

“So you gonna do something about that little farmer or?”

He turned around seeing Bakugou, Midoriya, and Kirishima, in the field next to his. He looked at the wood barrier that separated them from him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.

-Oh so she isn’t yours? You’re not interested?

-I didn’t say that”, he said firmly.

Of course you were his.

“Bakugou is right Shigaraki, look it worked out for us! I have no idea how, but somehow it worked out.

-It’s literally so easy for you, she is basically caring about you all the time.

Yeah! She is your personal keeper!”

He couldn’t deny the fact that he wanted you. So bad it sometimes kept him awake at night. Even more when he was seeing how the others all had their little mate for themselves. He was even more jealous when the rut season was coming in and that they all had their personal keeper to take care of it. That was maybe because they all were part of the breeder program. Maybe if he agreed to it, you would let him breed you. Just thinking about made him excited.

“You know how some of us had to battled to get them to let us claim them like that. Bakugou literally had to fight.

-Hey!

-It’s true, they had to put you in an isolated stable just because of it.

-He was in time out. Just like a little kid.

Do you want to die?”

Shigaraki stopped listening. But they were right. He needed to act up.

“Oi Tomu! Ready to go back ?” He turned toward your voice, to see you wave at him. He ran toward you, ready to go back.

“Guys, do y’all want to go back inside ?

-No thanks Y/n!

-Ok, be nice then”

You walked in front of him, and he realized how much you were swinging your hips. Maybe he was just noticing it now? Or maybe you were doing it on purpose? What if you were gonna go into heat soon?! No, humans did not have heat. Not that he knew about. He came back to a clean stable, a lot of food, and he even saw a few treats that were not supposed to be here.

“Shhh, don’t say anything. I don’t need to be accused of doing favoritism.”

He chuckled, getting ready for the grooming session. He couldn’t wait. And god he did not regret anything. Your gentle fingers were playing in his fur, detangling everything, you even braided the hair on his head , taking them away from his face. It felt so good. You applied the cream he needed for his skin condition around his eyes, smiling proudly. Your dropped to your knees in front of him suddenly, your face inches of his crotch. You were just checking his hooves, but fuck, he could feel himself get hard. It didn’t help that you started touching his thighs, squeezing them amazed.

“You become so strong Tomu, look at you”

Yeah he had become strong, for you, so you could be proud of him and proud to be his mate.

“Y/n?

-Yes?

-I would like to become a breeder.”

You stopped your movement, staying silent.

“Y/n?

-Y-eah sorry. Hm of course you can. It’s normal. You need a mate after all.”

Ah. There has been a misunderstanding.

“I have to go. I’ll let you know when we’ll start the program okay?”

You almost ran out of the stable, leaving him alone and sad. Fuck, why didn’t he simply told you he needed you. He didn’t need a mate, he needed you to be his mate. He felt like breaking the door and running after you. Maybe he should have followed Bakugou’s method and just tell you right up that he needed to knot you. No definitely no... He really hoped he didn’t made you sad, or that you were mad at him. It would kill him.

Your heart was clenching in your chest. What was even that pain? Why did you felt like someone had stabbed you. It was stupid, you knew that day would come. It was selfish of you to react like this. It was in his nature, he needed a mate. You already had blocked him enough. You still cried under the shower this same night. The next day you found yourself talking with your colleagues about it. Most of the bull who were used for reproduction, didn’t have any contacts with the cows. They often were violent and cows were too precious for this. But the softer ones had the chance to chose a mate and actually have a physical relationship with them. That would probably be the case for Shigaraki you thought. You needed to ask him what he thought of it. You arrived at his stable, surprised not to see him look at you. He was always up at this hour normally. You called his name, but he didn’t answer. Worried you opened his stable, just to find him laying down on the hay.

“Tomura is everything okay?”

You looked around, noticing he had not eat any of the thing you had gave him yesterday. Worried you kneeled next to him, touching his shoulder gently. He did not react, but you still heated a little noise. A sob.

“Tomu, love, tell me what’s wrong, please I’m so worried...”

He turned around a bit and you could see he had cried, his pretty red eyes puffy. You even noticed how his neck and under eyes seemed to be red, like he scratched it.

“I’m sorry Y/n. I made you sad.

-No, Tomu, you didn’t. What are you talking about.

-Yesterday. You left upset with me. I hate it. I can’t live with you being upset.

-I was not upset baby. It’s all my fault. I was selfish by reacting like this. But it’s totally normal to want a mate. Tomu, baby, you don’t have to care about me.

-But I don’t want a cow, I want you.

-What?”

He sat down, looking at you in the eyes.

“If I told you I wanted to be a part of the program it just because I wanted you to help me. Like the others are doing. I don’t want to breed anyone. Just you.”

Your heart was going to explode. He wanted you, you thought. You heart was swelling from happiness.

“Y/n, don’t cry please” he cried out panicking.

“No baby it’s fine. I’m just happy. Fuck, I would love to help you.”

He took you in his arms, almost tackling you to the ground. All you could hear was little “don’t cry” coming from him.

You ended up leaving him alone, as you still made sure he was eating correctly. He suddenly seemed way more relaxed, even though you could see a deep blush on his cheeks. His little ears were fluttering and his tail was moving from right to left excitedly. You busied yourself all day, not seeing Shigaraki much. Bakugo and Midoriya had break into a fight and you and an other helper had to take them away from each other. Midoriya told you that his rut was going to come soon and that he couldn’t stand when Bakugou came too close from one of your colleagues. The worst was that Bakugou had no interest in them, he had his own favorite keeper, he just liked to mess with Deku. You decided that those two won’t be having any contacts until their rut had passed. You reassured Deku that his s/o was fine and that they’ll come see him soon. You put him in a stable far away from the others, where he would be in a calm environment. You finally finished your day way later than usual. You were exhausted and felt like you needed a thousand showers. But you still decided to go and see how Shigaraki was doing before going to sleep. When you arrived he was already looking for you, his eyes shining as he saw you getting closer.

“Oi Y/n! You look tired .... What happened

- We had to separate Midoriya and Bakugou earlier, they are going into rut. So I had a lot of work. It was a long day.”

You saw him look at you with more attention, his eyebrows knitted tightly. He looked a bit mad when he approached his head from you, his little nose pressed against your neck, you jolt in surprise when you felt the metal of his septum piercing against your neck.

“You smell like him....

-Like who?

-Deku...

-Well I worked with him so...

-I don’t like it. Normally you smell more like me...”

He never acted territorial toward you before. Maybe it was because of your new arrangement. You would need to talk to him about it, even if you new it was probably useless. None of the other bulls had been reasonable till now. You doubted he would be an exception. You finally left him, promising him to take a shower as soon as you were home and to come back the day after smelling all clean. You’ve never been that happy to leave in the house near the farm. A bunch of other keepers had decided to leave here together as it was cheaper and so close from work. You took a shower like promised and ate something before going to bed. Before going to sleep, you decided to do a bit of research. You knew how breeding worked. You had to supervise the thing a few time which had mortified you at first. Now you learned how to get detached and let the hybrids do their things while you were working somewhere else. But the “milking” part of the process kinda made you worried. You never had that much intimacy with an hybrid. You knew some of your colleagues had and that they even went further than just the milking. There was nothing wrong with that. It was actually pretty common between hybrids and humans. But you were a shy person, in that area at least. Thinking about just touching Shigaraki like that made a wave of arousal travel through your body. You didn’t know if you were supposed to feel like this. Maybe he wasn’t asking for this. He just wanted you to do this as a professional. And you were here, thinking about it as if you were talking about your boyfriend. After re reading the method a few time, the last thing you wanted was to hurt him in some way, you went to sleep, head full of a certain hybrid.

Shigaraki slept way better than the night before, but he was still annoyed about the smell situation. Maybe he should start senting you. After all you were his. He knew he was starting to get into his rut too. Soon every bull around here would be in the same situation. It was spring so it was expected. But this time he would spend it with you and fuck he couldn’t help but be happy about it. He woke a bit early so he would clean his stable, he didn’t want to make it look messy for when you’ll come. He knew it was ridiculous but he couldn’t help it. He even cleaned himself, making sure nothing was caught in his fur. He felt suddenly so hot, he couldn’t wait for you to come. Maybe it was the general tension in the air. Knowing that there was other bull in rut around here. It made him crazy. Why couldn’t you just hurry? Maybe you weren’t even gonna do anything today. What if he got his hopes up and you weren’t planning on doing anything today? He looked at how hard he was becoming, kinda embarrassed.

“Hey Tomu!”

He jumped at the sound of your voice. You looked so pretty today. You looked pretty every day but he couldn’t point his finger on what made you look so beautiful today. Maybe it was the way you styled your hair, the makeup you wore when you usually didn’t.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. Didn’t you hear me come your way?” You chuckled.

He had to have you, he thought.

“So Tomu, I wanted to ask you when you wanted to start the breeding program. Bakugou and Midoriya are already in rut, normally yours start soon after, doesn’t it?

-It’s starting I think...”

His voice was quiet and you could see the blush on his cheeks and how he seemed more tense than usual.

“Oh okay... I’m gonna take your temperature and I’ll see from there.”

You placed the little tube on his tongue, waiting a minute before looking back. Yeah he was definitely entering his rut.

“ Ok Tomu, I’m gonna get ready and I’ll be back. We should wait till you’re completely in heat to start. Do you need me to explain how the procedure work?”

You were speaking so much words and he wasn’t even listening to them. He could only concentrate on your face, watching your lips move. He took a deep breath and he could smell you. So strong. You smelled so good.

“Don’t leave now, fuck, I need you”

You seemed conflicted for a bit.

“Ok I’ll be back in a minute, I swear it’ll be quick but I need to get something”

You didn’t let him answer as you were already leaving. He was gonna die if you didn’t come back quickly. None of his rut had been that hard on him before. It generally was longer than it was intense and it took a all day to settle down. But today his entire body was on fire and he was already so hard. You ran as fast as you could toward the office. You had let everything you needed there. You never grabbed a bag so fast, the other hybrids were looking at you weirdly when they saw you running through the farm. You came back to Tomura’s stable finding him on his knees, his cock in his hand .

“Y/n... fuck please”

He looked so gorgeous. His cock was an angry red, leaking precum like crazy. You dropped to your knees, next to him trying to comfort him a bit. You needed to get him in position so you could prep him, but he didn’t look like he wanted to move. He couldn’t stop pumping his length, not being able to cum.

“Ok I need you to get on your knees baby, you can do this for me?”

He whined but still did what you told him. He was arching his back, his cute little ears were flat against his hair. His tail was swiping in the air almost hitting you. You took the bottle of lube, squirting some on your gloved hands. He was too far gone to see anything at this point but you still wanted him to know what was going to happen. You lubbed the the upper part of what looked like a suction cup, making sure the milking tool won’t hurt him. You touch his shoulder making him look at you. You almost moan when you saw his red cheeks, teary eyes, drool almost dripping out of his mouth.

“I’m gonna put this on you baby, are you ready?

-No I want you. Not that please Y/n!

-This first, I promise I’m gonna touch you, I’ll make you feel really good.”

He didn’t say anything, you were already grabbing him in your hand. He was so heavy, throbbing against your palm. Fuck he would feel so good inside you. You stroked him a few times not being able to resist seeing him cry and buck his hips in your hand. You placed the lubbed part against his tip, his eyes falling on your hand.

“What is it?” He asked his voice quiet.

“It will help you... stay stimulated...It’s the same process we used for the cows”

It indeed looked the devices that were used to milk the cows. You pushed it down his length, watching it get swallowed. You watched Tomura, watching his eyes rolled in his head, tongue out of his mouth. Fuck you wish that was you. You wish you were the one making him feel this good.

“Ok baby, now I’m gonna touch you ok?

-Yes more !”

He threw his ass in the air, his hooves hitting the ground hard. You touched his fur, silky against your palm. Your hand caress the curve of his ass, gently spreading his cheeks.

“Y/n!

-Yes?

-W- why are you touching me there?

He didn’t had the time to answer before you push one finger inside. He gasped, throwing his head back.

« Y/n ! F-fuck »

You forgot everything when you saw him starting to rock his hips,your finger getting deeper inside him. You slowly put another finger in, his flesh already so tender you did not met any resistance. You crooked you fingers inside, your finger tips digging into his flesh’ hitting his sweet spot hard. He screamed, arching his back cumming so hard it made his entire body shake. He kept cumming as you didn’t stop moving your fingers.

« More! Please more! »

You added a new finger, the third one stretching him wide.

« Fuck, Tomura, you came so hard you’re so good. Your little hole is swallowing my fingers »

He moaned, clenching more and you looked at the tube seeing more and more cum dripping inside.

«  I’m gonna milk you hard love, you’re so pretty like this fuck »

The words were just coming out of your mouth shamelessly at this point. You knew it was not professional, but you couldn’t help it. He was driving you crazy, his pretty face was flushed, his eyes full of tears, lips bitten red and all wet with drool.

« I can’t stop! It feels too good, can’t stop- »

His voice was broken, and he was trusting his hips, making harder and harder for you to hold him down.

« I want to be inside you, please Y/n! Please! I want to cum inside- »

You wanted that to, so bad, but you knew you couldn’t right now.

« A little more love »

He was shaking from all his limbs. Your fingers started to get tired from all this, but with a final twist of your wrist, you pressed three fingers hard against his flesh, making him collapsed from pleasure.

« Too much, it hurts, please »

He was shaking on the ground, his eyes rolling in the back of his head. You stopped the movement with your fingers. You let him go of the equipment, finally freeing his cock. You looked at the machine, impressed by the amount of cum.

« Tomu are you okay? »

He nodded slowly, smiling as he felt your hand on his hair.

“It still feels good...

-I didn’t hurt you right?

-No...”

You took him in you arms, laying in the hay with him, murmuring in his ear how much you loved him. He looked so vulnerable right now, but here he was, his face pressed against your chest, breathing calmly. You kissed the top of his head, smiling as well.

“I love you, my mate” he said, pressing his lips against his neck.

“I love you too.”

You looked down at him, seeing his eyes closed, his breathing study. You needed to take the material back and to start cleaning, but you felt so good right now. Maybe it could wait a little bit more.

[neko-rogers]

All I Ever Need

Peter warned you about the dangers of online dating.

words: 4,007

tags: dark!peter parker, strong and explicit non-consensual elements, manipulation, implications of sex-pollen or drugging, lowkey breeding kink

a/n: please forgive me! i’m still new to writing dark!versed fics <3 but this was a request and i couldn’t resist (: if you liked this then you are free to help me out and improve my writing by leaving feedback or suggesting prompts that i could write about

     It was emotionally crushing.

     The moment you decided to create a Tinder account led you to all sorts of feelings. 

     As someone who had been busy with your final year of college, you never thought of engaging much in the relationships territory. With all these, you could only focus on finally graduating and obtaining a stable job. The idea that you were providing for yourself, without having to depend on a significant other, was fulfilling.

     It did not help further considering that most of your group of friends were just as hardworking as you. Peter Parker was one the closest and much more than just a good influence. Truly too good to be true.

     Nonetheless, you finally tried out those infamous dating applications you have been hearing. Despite warnings from your friends about how dangerous it can be, you were confident that you were smart enough to handle it.

     “You're still hung up on that app?” Peter interrupts alongside.

     The professor dismissed the class moments ago, and at least half of the people already exited the room. As always, Peter waited for you before heading for next subject.

     Admittedly, you were a bit caught up with your phone. Swiping left and right sounded boring, but for some reason you found it amusing how convenient it can be – the interaction and messages was a bonus. “So what if I am?”

     You lock your phone before Peter got to snoop further. Both your reflections could be seen amongst the black screen as you placed it on top of your other textbooks to be carried.

     “Any interaction online is dangerous,” he explains. “I thought you out of all people should know that, Y/N.”

     You roll your eyes at his remark. “You’re only a year older than me yet you sound like my dad. You know I’m already twenty-two, right?”

     “I’d hate to be the one to say I told you so when your world comes crashing down,” he consoles. 

     “Oh thats bullshit, Parker.” You could almost laugh at his sense of ridicule. “Like you said, I’m smart. I’m sure I’ll be able to handle online dating. Have faith in me, yeah?” 

     “Yeah, whatever. It’s fine.” Peter nods, still beside as you walked along the hallway. “It’s not like you’re already going on a date with one of them, right.” His assumption comes off as a statement rather than a question.

     However, you stay quiet seeming as it was best to leave it unanswered.

     “Oh no, please don’t tell me you’re seeing someone already.” Peter looks back when you decided to stay a meter behind him to save you from the guilt.

     “It’s just a second date, it won’t harm me,” you defended. “Plus, he goes to the community college nearby.”      “What?! You two are already on your second date before you told me, or anyone of your friends?” You could understand where his temper was coming from, but in the end, it was none of their business.

     “I know, but I just thought it wasn’t a big deal. Besides this is about me and Jacob.”

     Fortunately enough, you and Peter have the same subject which was BioChemistry. This time, he followed you behind while you avoided his gaze. He waited until you took a seat along the second to the last row, and then taking his seat next to you.

     You look straight, facing the chalkboard displayed at the farther side of the room. Though you could not see Peter entirely, you could see his glowering look by the corner of your eye. “So his name his Jacob, huh, tell me more about him.”

     This was the reason why you could not update him, or any of your friends. You knew this would happen. They begin getting so nosy around your life before they even realize it.

     Surely, you did love your friends, much more the boy sitting next to you. They have been with you since freshman year, and you were more than grateful for one another’s support.

     “Peter, I don’t think that whatever I tell you would concern you,” you state clearly to avoid a dragging conversation. 

     “But we care about you, I care about you, Y/N.” He pouts, “The moment he tries to hurt you, you’ll run back to us and cry about it. I just want to skip seeing that part knowing I can’t see you heartbroken.”

     You furrow your eyebrows. His statement comes off as a bit acquisitive, but you knew that it was just his concern caught up in the moment. “That’s the problem. We all need to eventually fail or feel pain. It’s normal, especially for young adults like us, Peter!”

     There was a lot of things you wanted to say now. He trigged you somehow and now you’re at the edge of becoming a rambling mess. The worst part of it was that you were scared that you might say something that you would not be able to take back. 

     “Okay then I’ll–”

     “No look, I apologize for raising my voice.” You sighed to calm yourself down and compose your thoughts better. “You know I adore you so much, Peter. And I appreciate you looking out for me. But this can’t be forever, I’ll eventually have to learn how to deal with these kinds of stuff.”

     You got through barely half of your day yet you could already feel the emotional turn of having an argument with one of your best friends. 

     And eventually, your professor entered the room. Barely giving the two of you a moment to continue the heated conversation just seconds ago. The displeased look on Peter’s face remained as he looked in front, acknowledging that both of you took lectures seriously. He wanted to pick up this argument at another setting. 

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

     "Congrats to your first ever anniversary!” Your friends applaud just as Jacob was seated next to you.

     “We’re so proud of you.”

     “You two look so happy together!”

     “Both of you look amazing, practically perfect for each other.”

     “Can’t believe it’s already been a year.”

     A year has passed, your group of friends remained even so with Peter. In addition, they learned to accept your boyfriend despite their doubts on online dating sites and applications.

     Just as they learned to trust your decisions more, you also learned way more about your significant other. Though despite your differences in fields, you learned to love him more than you thought you could.

     All of you have freshly graduated from college. Most of your friends did not have much planned so far; however, as your friendship with Peter remained, he grew to understand your feelings more and handled it sensitively.

     After your argument during your early days of dating Jacob, he eventually apologized for his behavior too. Though that was not the only time your friendship with him was put to a test. After the succeeding months, Peter still gave feint warnings and acted a bit overprotective when you tried telling him how you wanted to take your relationship to another level and get more serious.

     Nonetheless, you did not let any of your peers affect your view upon your relationship. Seeing that you were now at your first anniversary, you were happy that you followed what your heart and gut believed in.

     “To be honest we didn’t expect our Y/N to be getting into a relationship before we graduate, let alone celebrating her first anniversary!” Liz joked. “But in the end, just know that we love you and we’re here for you.”

     You smiled, looking at your friends who seemed to share the same feeling. After graduation, everything feels too good. It feels as if your life was falling into place.

     Not only have you gotten into a relationship with a kind guy. You also attained high ranks among the other students in your program, which led to companies offering you internships right off the bat. Rather than you worrying about where you’re heading to after college, you got the privilege to pick what you wanted to do.

     Surprisingly, you got an offer from the Stark Industries to become an internship on being their analytical chemist. It was the most tempting offer you got. Who would not accept an opportunity like that, right?

     When you learned that Peter also got an offer, you were more than happy for him. You knew he was one of the smartest persons in class and he deserved it just as you did.

     Both your contracts agreed that the internship starts a month from now which was just perfect, considering that you also have a few things to do prior to it.

     “Well, this girl also has a lot planned ahead,” you announce while catching the attention of your friends that were circled around you. “Me and Jacob were talking about moving in probably in his apartment by the end of the month.”

     Your intention was not to brag. Everyone could see how genuinely excited you were with such a big event. You were just so happy that despite what every one thought your relationship would end, you accepted whether the outcome would be good or bad. 

     Your friends cheered at you for taking a big step into your relationship. Looking back, you were so scared to accept the second date, but little by little you could not notice how much progress has been done.

     “I am so thankful for you guys.” You smiled and nodded at them before looking to your side where Jacob happily watched you interact with your friends. You slung your arm over his chest and planted a kiss directly at his lips.

     “We’re always here for you, Y/N,” Peter added along with a smile.

*

     Unbeknownst to you, just as your friends had left the celebration, you had big news yet to hear.

     As you drape your purse over one shoulder, your boyfriend assisted you out. He held one side of the door for you and walked after you. He held onto the side of your waist until both of you reached his car.

     Like the gentleman he is, he went over to the passenger side to open the car door for you before doing the same for himself at the driver’s side.

     When both of you were finally inside the car, Jacob had not started the car immediately. He paused with fingers gripping around the edges of the steering wheel.

     His sigh was just as evident, hearing it echo around the car which left chills across your skin as you looked at him. “You seem bothered. What’s wrong?”

     He avoided to look at you just as both of your hands reach for one of his. He lets you toy with his fingers yet his gaze still directs straight at the gas pedal. You lean further to catch a glimpse of him, moving one hand to cup his cheek. “Hey, what’s bugging you, babe? I’m here to listen.”

     “I’m sorry,” he starts off. The puzzled look on your face apparent as to what he’s trying to apologize for.

     “What do you mean?”

     “I just don’t think you deserve to stay with someone like me.”

     His self-loathing was not settling your confusion in any way at all. “I still don’t get it.” You did have an assumption in mind, but you chose not to jump into it as it might flare up on what’s happening now.

     “I think we need to break up,” Jacob swiftly drops.

     Slowly, you pull back and rest your back against the window. You bring a hand up to brush the little fringes in front of your face. You were trying to comprehend everything that’s happening. “I don’t understand. Why so sudden?”

     “Don’t get the wrong idea, Y/N–”

     “Then what should I get?” Your voice starts to crack as you hold back the tears. “I don’t understand anything at all! You seemed so happy a couple of hours ago.”

     “That’s why I’m apologizing,” he softly explains. “You don’t deserve me, I’ve been so horrible to you–”

     “You have been so nice to me. I don’t know where you’re getting all of this, at all!” Eventually, tears could not help but form around the corners of your eyes.

     Jacob sighs, finally looking at you. “You deserve so much more than this, I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

     Finally, the tears began to spill. You covered both your eyes with your palms, trying to both hide and wipe them away. “Y-you can’t just break up with me after celebrating our first anniversary.”

     “I’m sorry–”      “Stop saying that,” you sniffed. You did not know what annoyed you more, hearing him apologize like a broken record or hearing him imply the ‘its not you, it’s me and you deserve more’ bullshit. “You’re too cruel.”

     “I’ll drive you to your house,” he offers. The look on his face seemed very guilty. You did not know what was behind these sudden turn of events, but either way you were heartbroken for how

     “No,” you stated. “Uhm, I have a friend who lives nearby. You can drop me off there.”

     “Okay.”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

     “That’s pretty much my night in a nutshell,” you sighed as Peter entered his room with a blanket and some clothes in hand.

     Your legs were cross-seated over his bed as your hid your face with your hands. Peter frowned as he walked over to the edge of his bed where you were positioned. “I just don’t understand why he dumped me all of a sudden, might I add, dumped me on our first anniversary!”

     You felt a hand over your back, rubbing slow and comforting strokes as you continued to cry. “Just as I thought I was getting to know him better.”

     It was emotionally crushing.

     “I’m so sorry, Y/N.”

     “Well.” You look up at him despite knowing your nose eyes eyelids became swollen, “You can finally tell me that you told me so.”

     “That doesn’t matter right now.” His hands move to the ends of your hair, toying with the strands before turning half of his body aside. He reaches for a mug that situated on top of his nightstand, “Here. I brought you a cup of tea.”

     “Thanks, but I’m not really thirsty–”

     “Drink,” he calmly says. “You need to get hydrated after crying.”

     You could not argue with that. You’ve definitely lost a lot of water in your body after hours of just crying, without drinking anything. “You know me so well.” you told him and added, “I should’ve just listened to you when you warned me about strangers online.”

     “I guess I owe you an apology.”

     Peter chuckled at your statement and watched you as your lips slowly sipped at the heated tea he had just prepared. “No need to be sorry about anything now, I’m just glad you’re safe. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

     “Don’t worry he didn’t physically touch me,” you assure as he nods.

     The adorable boy in front of you slyly looked down as he called for your name. “Y/N? Can I ask you a question?”

     “Of course, Peter.” 

     “Why’d you choose to stop by my place amongst our other friends.” 

     You finally finish the entire drink he had prepared. Before you could answer him, you extended your arm in order to set the fragile mug back on top of his bed side drawer.

     “Well for one, I still know where your place was, and it was closest from the restaurant,” you answered. “And conveniently enough, you were the first person I could think of after Jacob hurt my feelings.”

     “I could vividly remember your warnings just as I realized he was breaking up with me already. I didn’t know whether to feel sad or ashamed. What I do know was that you knew me too well, even before I became fully aware of it.”

     He smiled at your answer, and you gave the same look at him. “Well I’m glad you thought of me.” His hands reach over to yours and places them on top, feeling the warmth of his body over yours. “I would never want to hurt you, nor let you feel the pain Jacob gave you.”

     “You’re too sweet.” You smile.

     Your hands rubbed circles around your eyes first. Then you tried to lean in front, opening your arms wide signaling for a hug. Peter did not hesitate to hug you back, enveloping his arms while both of you rest your chins on top of each other’s shoulders.

     From this angle, you could strongly scent his cologne. However, that was not the only thing you could observe.

     As each second passes, you were not sure if you were the only one who could notice how hot the room was getting. Either that or that your skin was starting to burn up. “Peter?”

     “Don’t you think it’s getting hot–”

     As you were just about to react, you felt a pair of lips against yours. Peter had pulled back, and even when you could have realized it, he was pinning you down as your back presses against his bed.

     And as much as this was entirely contradicting your morals, you did not feel an ounce of guilt as one of your best friends continued to leave kisses down your neck. You were not entirely sure why your mind was doubting this, but your body was suddenly, badly craving for touch – and Peter was conveniently doing you the favor.

     “Don’t I think it’s getting what?” Peter sits up and teases just as he pulls his shirt over his shoulders.

     “Nothing,” you groan. “But I don’t think this is a good idea–”

     He shushes you, “Relax. Let me take care of you, yeah?

     His hands gently released heir grip around your wrists. He was confident enough that you wouldn’t fight back after finishing the drink he exclusively brewed for you.

     Your state of mind was perfectly right where he expected it to be. Just conscious enough to feel him against you, but incapable of thinking rationally. 

     He just hated how smart you were when it came to his friends and school; however, just as he expects, you were not as quick-witted when it came to relationships. 

     And hiring Jacob was definitely one of his greatest achievements so far. He lost a part of his savings along the way, but nothing could ever become as valuable as you. Now that you were in his room, let alone under his touch, he had the upper hand.

     Peter was not letting you go that easy afterwards.

     For now, he continues to leave kisses under your jaw while your hands lazily combs through the locks of his hair. He proudly hums against your skin after leaving gentle nibbles that started to leave evident love marks.

     One of his hands creep under your shirt, reaching to unhook your bra. As he successfully does, he moves to adjust your shirt over your breasts. He gets a good view of them even without having to pull it over your head, smirking to himself as this has been a fantasy he has been dreading for.

     “Fuck you’re even more beautiful than I imagined,” he murmurs. With one hand, he gently squeezes around one of your breasts just as he descends at your body.

     “Peter,” your moan comes from above his head just as he was ready to spread your legs.

     “Yeah, babe?”

     “C-condom,” you mumbled with eyelids partially open.

     He chuckled as a response, “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.”

     Peter tried to test the waters first to make sure he was completely in control of this situation. He drags the tip of his fingers across your stomach, further narrowing the path down as it reached at the entrance of your cunt. 

     He could instantly sense how wet you have become throughout his teasing. Both his middle and ring finger grew damper as he inserted them inch by inch, slowly seeing them reappear. 

     The warmth radiating around your walls excites him more, assuming how good you would be while his cock was wrapped around it. He instinctively curls his fingers out of excitement, forgetting that he was trying to handle you gently.

     You react by tightening around it, along with a whine. 

     “Sorry, babe.”

     Moreover, he continues it up until he felt his erection grow harden than before. He made sure he was completely hard before finally dropping both your pants down, attending to yours first until you were completely naked – excluding the shirt he did not haul over your head.

     Next was his turn. He undid his shorts and threw them away ever so quickly. Then rushed to welcome himself between the space of your legs. “You ready for me, babe?” He did not leave a choice despite asking that either way. You remained helpless under him.

     “Hmm,” was your only response.

     Peter did not hesitate as he glides into you. He groans at your heat, grasping that you feel better now compared to when he was using his fingers. “Oh shit,” he groans while speeding up the pace of his thrusts, “you feel so good.”

     “That’s it, holy fuck.” He was surprised at how responsive your body was still. Despite drugging you to the extent of being mentally incapable, your body was contracting all over him as if it was enjoying itself. 

     He continued to praise your body even if you could not understand what he was saying. The entire event revolved around him fucking you and leaving sweet remarks as if he was your boyfriend – and not, at all, a friend who laced your drink and made you believe you were somewhere safe.

     Though Peter did say he was going to care for you. Ironically, it was obvious that all he can think about now is chasing his orgasm and nutting inside you. After all, it was one of his dark and twisted fantasies – to have full control over you, at least.

     There were few moans coming from you, but the happy noises being created by Peter overpowers. With all of this, sexual, tension he finally got to release, it was expected that he was going to cum sooner.

     “Fuck,” and other swears came from him. “Didn’t expect to cum so soon.”

     As he did not care about your take on this, he also did not give a fuck when he was planning to cum inside you. Since he purposely avoided to wear any kind of protection, let alone learn if you were in any kind of birth control, anyone in their right mind would know what could happen the morning after.

     Willfully, he made sure to go deeper inside you until he could feel the tip of his cock twitch as a sign that he was going to cum. “Gonna fill you up with my cum, yeah,” he grunts as if you were going to reply. “And you’re gonna take it like the good girl you are.”

     Even so, when Peter finally felt his release, he took a good look at you beneath. You seemed hot and bothered, but not as him. Your chest was heaving all the while he could feel the speed of the beating of his heart.

     When he steadily pulls out, the awaited moment of his deep, dark fantasies finally arise. He could clearly see his own cum beautifully spilling out of your cunt like a cream pie. He could almost feel himself get turned on just at the sigh of it, but he considered that round two’s with you would be saved for next time.

     “Peter?”      “Hmm?”

     “I still feel hot,” you purr. 

     Peter extends his arm to gently place the back of his hand over your forehead, feeling how feverish your body still was. There were few hints of sweat streaming from your forehead. “Let me take care of you, I’ll just run you a bath, okay?”

     You childishly smile and agree with him, “O-okay.” He pulls back to be able to properly stand and proceeds to head to his shower with a huge smile from his face.

     You were his.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

was putting this in tags but i dont need to fill peoples tags with wolf359 stuff they dont care about but i keep thinking about maxwell and the idea that she has so little problem changing heras memories or erasing the bad ones bc she has some bad memories of her own she would love to erase

and this uneven but sort of....viable? relationship between hera and maxwell. they get each other in a way nobody in their respective environments has the ability to, i think, but also maxwell just has so much power there. the power to Fix hera, to make her stop hurting, the power to turn her into a dummy program, erase her memories, her personality

not all the power is maxwell’s of course like the things she teaches hera gives hera power in return (!!! thats the doctor and yaz too) and we also never got to see where that relationship couldve gone (not in canon anyway)

and i do believe that 100% the doctor has the best intentions with yaz and she has no conflicting loyalties like maxwell she would never betray yaz in the same situation in the same way that maxwell did hera

but also similar to maxwell i think that the doctor’s best intentions might not line up with what other people would consider the best for them. definitely wouldnt line up with what yaz thinks is best for herself

but thats the power the doctor has. this is what they always have. “im sending you home to keep you safe” and “im wiping your memories to keep you safe” arent that far apart

heras total trust in maxwell. “no no i trust her i trust her dr maxwell would NEVER mess with my head, she understands better than anyone HOW MUCH of a violation that would be. she would hate herself” and hilbert being like “thats exactly what she wants you to think”

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 55 DETAILED SUMMARY AND DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

OKAY! So first off the background for this is absolutely gorgeous and shows a real demon. You know the kind you’d imagine an actual demon to look like and everything’s dark (black, grey, brown) there’s a castle on a mountain like area with a narrow suspended pathway leading to it, there are crows flying around and a person in a robe pointing what looks like a lit wand at a snarling attacking demon, there are skulls and what looks like weapons on the ground and my favourite part: a person in a long robe, kneeling on the ground, covering the top of their face with their hands and wailing to the sky. It’s all tailor made to my taste and I love it! There’s one locked lesson.

It’s breakfast time and Asmo & Beel are heading to an all you can eat global sweet sampler, MC questions it and Asmo says you can get desserts from all over the world there and Asmo’s hoping to live stream it. Asmo invites MC but Mammon interjects asking them to come see “cute horsies” with him. “’Horsies.’ He’s so pretentious. Shut up, it’s the fucking horse race. ‘Horsies.’” Says Levi. Levi invites MC to a real life TSL themed escape room (that sounds really fun tbh), Satan invites them to come watch the sci-fi movie they were talking about, in their home theatre. (he’s actually watched it 3 times already but he read online theories about it and now he wants to see if he can catch the basis for those theories in the movie). They all start arguing about it (except Beel who’s just eating) when MC gets a text from Diavolo congratulating them on their 5th star and wishing them luck for the other 2 and inviting them to an amusement park date. Everyone – MC included – is kind of baffled by the one on one date with Diavolo. They ask any of the others if they want to tag along but they all refuse but Beel asks if MC can take Belphie along since he hasn’t really left the house in a while and Beel’s worried. MC texts asking if they can bring Belphie along too and Diavolo says the more the merrier and I just know this is gonna end in disaster like did Belphie ever even resolve all the problems he had with Diavolo back in S1?

Beel drags Asmo along to wake Belphie up because a.) he doesn’t want Asmo to leave to the sweets thing without him b.) they need all the help they can get to wake him up. MC suggests using force and Asmo happily volunteers to grab Belphie, turn him over and drop him on the ground, Beel says they can’t do this to poor Belphie cause Beel’s a sweetheart, and says the most force he’ll allow them to use is by tickling Belphie, which Asmo then does. It doesn’t work so Asmo says if they’re gonna use force they should do something like this right before he screams “ASMO DIIIIIIVE!!!” and jumps on top of Belphie as Beel protests and I love that despite what you’d assume from his aesthetic and despite what Asmo would like you to believe he’s a lot more rough and tumble and violent (I just really love the sweet with hidden edges trope as much as I love the jerk with a gooey centre trope). Belphie says ow and Asmo brightly and sweetly cheers that he woke up as if just seconds ago he hadn’t used a wrestling move on his sleeping baby brother. Beel says that though Belphie’s body is awake his mind isn’t (relatable), Beel fixes Belphie’s bedhead and Asmo complains that Belphie’s a stereotypical spoilt brat youngest child and says that Diavolo obviously would’ve wanted a one on one day with MC. Beel says he knows and it’s another reason he wanted Belphie to go. Asmo agrees saying that after everything if MC chooses their boss over any one of the seven guys MC actually lives with it’d feel wrong. Asmo tells Belphie to keep an eye on them and not let it turn into a “whirlwind romance”, Belphie just asks for his pillow and Asmo’s upset cause he doesn’t feel confident about the plan now. Poor Diavolo being constantly cockblocked

On the way Belphie complains about being forced to do this when his schedule is just as busy but MC says all he does is sleep and he says because naps are important to him and he takes them seriously. He wishes he could go back home and asks why of all the demons he had to be stuck with Diavolo (so guess those issues are still around good to know). MC asks if he still dislikes Diavolo cause of his fondness for humans and Belphie says he’s fully gotten over that whole human genocide phase which is great to have confirmed. They ask why he dislikes Diavolo – lots of reasons. He always thinks he’s right and expects to get his way about anything and everything and never listens to anyone’s opinions. He hadn’t bothered to listen to Belphie back when the exchange program had been proposed and Belphie was against it (and I mean to be fair back then Belphie was 100% okay with killing the entire human race for no reason other than the fact that he blamed them for Lilith’s death when really they had nothing to do with it and it was definitely the angels’ fault. I mean I don’t think I would have listened to him either and he really does have the spoilt youngest kid personality. I think out of all the brother’s Belphie’s the one who has the fondest memories of the Celestial Realm – probably helped by the fact that Lilith was still alive then – which is why he never blamed them for what happened and instead directed all his anger at the humans) Lucifer hadn’t let Belphie plead his case (what case Belphie!? That all humans should die!?) and that Diavolo’s surrounded by demons like Barbatos and Lucifer who shield him from criticism (and yeah I agree that this is true and that it’s a bad thing but Lucifer wasn’t shielding Diavolo from criticism when he refused to let Belphie plead his case, he was protecting Belphie cause if Diavolo found out Belphie wanted to kill humans he would have thrown him in jail like he did back at the end of S1 and MC you dumb fuck can you pls tell all this to Belphie) and that Diavolo doesn’t understand that he’s been saved from criticism and Belphie hates that about him and he shudders at the thought of spending the day with Diavolo. On the way they run into Simeon and tell him where they’re going, he says Luke’s been wanting to go there since he saw a ad for it and MC says they could take Luke along with them but he says Luke’s at a cooking class today but that he’d probably love to hear about it when he gets back. Simeon then takes off saying he has a meeting. Belphie goes to call after Simeon to tell him something and catches a glimpse of the person Simeon was supposed to meet. He’s surprised and says “Is that…” and when MC asks what’s wrong he said he must have just imagined it and that the person Simeon was meeting just looked really familiar and HOLY SHITTTTTTT GUYSSS rfhiefjoSJKWDLDADJSJ was I right are we really gonna get to see angels???? That’s the only explanation, right? It would have had to be Michael or even Raphael and there’s only a few lessons left and this and the next lesson are probably gonna focus on Diavolo and Belphie’s relationship and following the patter MC should get their 6th star next lesson, then the two lessons after that will be their final exam for the 7th star and then the last two lessons will focus on saying goodbye as the brothers go back to the Devildom and all that’s gonna have a lot going on but if they’re teasing the angels being here now could they manage to slip them in or will that be too much? I mean they’ll be introducing a whole new (or two whole new) character(s) and ahhh I’m rambling but pls I need the tension and angst between them and the brothers ok I’m done.

When they get there Belphie complains about how crowded it is and MC tries to look for Diavolo to which Belphie points to a group of fangirls surrounding Diavolo. Diavolo answers them sweetly and one of them says he’s even better looking irl and another shyly asks if he wants to walk around with them. Belphie cuts that short by barging in and asking Diavolo what’s going on, Diavolo happily greets Diavolo and one of the girls realises that Belphie called Diavolo ‘lord’. Diavolo apologises to them and said he’s already made plans with friends (and ugh he’s so sweet I love him just wanna give him a big hug I bet he gives great hugs), the girls are very understanding and sweet about it and they leave. Belphie’s a lil shit and says “Aww, too bad, Lord Diavolo. I’d hate to interrupt just as they were hitting on you…” and Diavolo laughs it off saying it wasn’t like that (and can Diavolo not understand sarcasm or does he just ignore it? Both seem highly likely) Belphie disagrees and says they were clearly hitting on him and Diavolo changes the subject and says he can’t believe Belphie actually came, MC explains why and Diavolo says it’s understandable that Beel was worried after Belphie hadn’t left the house in a week (Me, who hasn’t left the house in almost a year: :’) ) Belphie says he knows Diavolo wanted a date with MC but too bad cause now Belphie’s gonna third wheel them. Diavolo tells Belphie not to be ridiculous and that he’s happy that Belphie came (and the thing is other than a small twinge of disappointment this is probably the truth). Belphie says that it probably won’t be a good idea to go around calling him “Lord” Diavolo given the way the girls reacted, Diavolo says he can just call him by his name since he wouldn’t mind but Belphie says he himself would mind and anyway if Lucifer or Barbatos found out Belphie wasn’t using his proper title they’d kill him. So Belphie suggests a nickname which Diavolo’s really happy about and MC suggests DD (they can also suggest John or Cap’n), Diavolo adores it and asks them to call him it all the time hereafter (I want to give him a hug so badly). Diavolo then happily and with lots of exclamation points goes on to say that it’s time to let their hair down and that Barbatos had made minute to minute schedule for them to follow so that they could enjoy the park to the fullest and Belphie says he wants to go home

Diavolo keeps unsuccessfully trying to get Belphie to wear a themed headband and take a group photo, saying he also wants to wear the headband on a boat ride and the ferris wheel. Diavolo gives MC sad puppy dog eyes (which I’m sure he uses successfully on Lucifer regularly, but that don’t affect Barbatos at all) and MC can’t refuse, asking Belphie if there’s anything that’ll get him to change his mind. He says no but he’s not stopping the others from doing it, Diavolo says since they’re here as a group they all should do it, Belphie snaps saying he doesn’t like how Diavolo’s using MC as a tool to bend Belphie to his will and he says he’s going home. Diavolo tries to stop him but he marches off and Diavolo drags MC off to chase after Belphie. Diavolo grabs Belphie by the arm outside the park and begs for a chance to apologize, Belphie denies it and tries to free his arm. Diavolo refuses to let him go saying he should have listened to and considered Belphie’s opinions now as well as in the past, Belphie’s shocked and MC asks Belphie to just hear Diavolo out. He agrees but tells them not to have any expectations of what this’ll accomplish.

Belphie says he doesn’t want to wear the headband or take pics and that he’s only gonna ride what he wants to, Diavolo agrees with all that. He asks if Belphie will stay with them and Belphie agrees and Diavolo is just so brightly stupidly happy and I can completely understand how he was able to make Lucifer question his entire world view. Diavolo’s so happy he starts waving Belphie’s arm around unconsciously and then asks Belphie what rides he wants to go on as they make their way back inside, Belphie doesn’t answer instead he’s blushing and annoyed and asks Diavolo to let go of his hand. Belphie wants to ride ‘The Twisting Freefall of Death II’, MC & Diavolo would like to not freefall to their death thank you very much. Belphie quotes the ride as being, “the single most terrifying experience in the world where you’ll scream for mercy and receive none” Diavolo says, “Did you say scream for mercy…” Belphie happily agrees. Diavolo turns to his last hope, MC, and asks how they feel about this. I like to imagine that even MC has a line where their lacking self-preservation will kick in. Belphie just smiles saying it won’t actually kill them (this would have been more reassuring coming from someone who didn’t once murder MC but whatever.) They can also ask Diavolo how feels about it. After the ride Belphie’s cackling loudly and gushing about how great it was. He’s especially happy about the look on Diavolo’s face during the ride, saying he’s never seen it before (probably the look of a demon praying to God for mercy). MC can say that Belphie seemed to be having a lot of fun, cheer how the ride was the best or say they thought they were going to die. For the 3rd option Belphie very cheerfully says MC’s alive and ok. Belphie asks Diavolo how it was only to realise Diavolo’s missing. He fell off the ride at its highest peak. He’s dead.

They’ve tried texting Diavolo but he doesn’t read them. Belphie wonders what kind of person actually gets lost in an amusement park unless they’re 5. Then he says “…is that what it is? Is he actually 5 yrs old?” He remembers that mammon got lost in a park once too and says the only thing the two of them have in common is that they’re both basically children, They then run into my favourite character in the entire game – the butcher (is2g this man needs to become a recurring side character) who is here with his wife and daughter. He asks them if the rest of the harem is here too and Belphie lets him know that unfortunately they’re here with a new inductee who got lost. The butcher offers to help and asks for a description. MC says he’s the owner of the corvo hotel chain and the butcher wonders who the fuck are these people in the first place to know someone like that and then because the butcher’s the sweetest person alive he too starts worrying about diavolo, scared that he might have gotten kidnapped. Belphie says “there’s no one in the human world oh shit I mean THE WORLD. THE NORMAL WORLD ALL US HUMANS - BECAUSE WE ALL ARE HUMANS - LIVE IN” the butcher now probably used to how weird this cult is (because they definitely are a satanic cult with their extremely obvious demon names, how weird and unused to normal life they are, 7 of them being obviously infatuated by the eighth one but the butcher’s not gonna bring this up cause with the amount of meat they buy from him he could keep his family afloat for years AND pay for his daughters college tuition) ignores this and says he hasn’t seen Diavolo but advices them to check the information desk and ask them to page Diavolo over the loudspeakers. They thank him and Belphie promises to stop by with Beel later, the butcher says he’ll see him then and tells them to take care (I love this man). Barbatos text MC asking how they’re doing and which itinerary of his they’re following cause yes apparently he made more than one and telling them he trusts them to take care of diavolo (and I can’t believe it took me this long to realise Barbatos is a helicopter parent). MC leaves him on read. Lucifer then texts them saying Satan told him where they’d gone and telling them that since the two of them are with Diavolo he assumes he’s okay but just to clarify make sure nothing happens to Diavolo. MC leaves him on read. Belphie says that Barbatos and Lucifer are way too overprotective. Barbatos and MC then realise how fucked they are if either of them find out that they’ve lost diavolo and so decide to skip the whole loudspeaker thing.

They can decide if they want to check by the lake, the ferris wheel or the last ride they went in. He’s not at the lake and they choose to take a boat across the lake to get to the ferris wheel cause it’s faster than going around it. Belphie actually enjoys the boat ride and asks if the two of them can just enjoy themselves together for a bit instead of looking for Diavolo, MC says “I’m worried about Diavolo also can you not remember how fucked we are if we don’t find him”. Belphie gets jealous that MC seems to care more about Diavolo than him (they’re just been practical! If the roles were reversed they’d have shut Diavolo down to look for you!) and says that even they have a real soft spot for Diavolo (He’s like a giant golden retriever!!).  There’s an announcement over the loudspeaker for MC and ‘Snoozy’ saying that DD’s waiting for them at the info desk. Belphie’s not happy about ‘snoozy’ (understandable)

[jennibeultimate]

I don’t know a whole lot about the technical side of figure skating, usually I choose favorite skaters just on whose performances I enjoy the most, but I’m curious since a lot of people seem to really dislike her: what do you think of Evgenia Medvedeva? since you seem to know a lot and be very invested in the figure skating world, I’m interested to know your opinion

Oh wow. I am very honored to have someone want my opinion 👀

First of all I am by no means an expert on the technical sides of figure skating - still learning - but I give it a try and your observation is correct that I am very invested in this sport and I know how (shitty) the fandom can be. And to warn you you're in for a long read. 😅

I will give my opinion on both, the aspects of her skating and the person Evgenia Medvedeva. And on why I think ppl may dislike her/hate on her.

1. About Evgenia Medvedeva - the skater

I hope you understand at least the basic terms of the technical aspects in figure skating as I will refer to them a lot in this part.

Jumps - Zhenya is a better edge than toe jumper. Her 3Loop and her 3Salchow are one of the best in the field and imo extremely pretty. Her 2Axel is usually her biggest problem, she muscles the jump. Her toe jumps have issues too. Zhenya has a wrong edge on the Lutz, called a "Flutz", she is working on it but it's still the wrong edge. She mostly didn't get an edge call on it though by the judges. The other aspect ppl often talk about is the "prerotation" in her toe jumps, especially the Flip. She does prerotate more than some other skaters. She is often criticized for it. But to make it short imo the rules about prerotation are a bit blurry (at what point is prerotation normal and when is it excessive prerotation?) and in fact judges doesn't seem to penalize prerotation at all. Some fans like to nitpick on this matter a lot. For some it's almost some sort of crime. Let's just say it's not easy to fix it and I think Zhenya improved on this matter with time. I think Zhenya definitely has some issues on her toe jumps and Axel, but I don't think just because someone has a flawed technique the person is a bad skater. So there are things you can rightfully criticize but also things to love in her jumps like not only are Salchow and Loop beautiful, but also her leg extension on landing is good and she usually has good flow in her jumps. The Tanos (one arm over the head while jumping) aren't my cup of tea but they have a positive influence the GOEs.

Her Salchow:

Her Loop:

Spins - I think she has beautiful spins, but they are not the fastest. And I think her spins were better in the early senior years. The back that is bothering her is making the Bielmann spin not doable for her anymore, which is a shame.

Programs and performance - I think Zhenya does portray characters exceptionally well. Yes some ppl don't like the excessive pantomime in her earlier programs and I also think less is more, but she always captures the audience with her charm and personality on ice and her programs always have a concept she can bring across (even sometimes with questionable theme). She has some very beautiful programs, I recommend her "Anna Karenina" 2017-2018 program and her "Memoirs of a Geisha" 2019-2020 program. What stands out of Zhenya and also has been a reason she has earned high PCS - especially in her first senior years - is that her programs are full of difficult transitions between the elements. I don't want to pick all of the PCS categories apart, just that I think she is selling her skating exceptionally well. (She doesn't have thousands of fans for no reason. 😉)

Scoring - I think this is actually the main point why some skating fans didn't like her in the first place. She emerged to a scene with extremely high scores for being a first year senior, scores that matched past heroes of skating like Yuna Kim and Mao Asada. Even though Zhenya never skated against Yuna and shared only few competitions with Mao, ppl always referred to the old scores of them. (which were former world records) Zhenya's consistency made her get world record after world record and flaws in jumps have often been overlooked like not calling the Flutz and her PCS seemed super high in comparison to other skaters of the same level. Even though the scoring is hardly her fault, she got the flack for it and tbh the way she was scored was also turning me off for a while but Zhenya captured me with her performance. Her high scores also have some justification. Zhenya had the most difficulty in her programs in 2015-2017. She was the skater to start the trend to backload the jumps to the 2nd half to get the bonus points (rules have been changed after 2018 because of this). Her PCS being high can also be justified to some extent, like she does have a lot of transitions and her skating is clear (turns and steps are recognizable and mostly of high quality) etc. I still do think especially after her coaching change to Brian Orser that her scores have been worth a discussion and I think that in comparison her scores were too high, but I don't think there is any doubt that she deserved the world titles she got. (Just look at those comps and tell me who was better?) Also her consistency between 2015 and 2017 is unmatched and is admirable. I think Zhenya has been overscored in her career a lot, but not to the extent that made her "unrightfully" claiming the titles and again that's hardly her fault.

I actually like Zhenya's skating a lot. I wasn’t a fan the first time I saw her but she grew on me a lot, especially in the last two years. She can create magic. 😊

If you want to know more about Zhenya and the technical aspects of her skating you can go through the Evgenia Medvedeva tag on @the-real-xmonster (the blog is not active anymore but has tons of technical explanations)

About the person Evgenia Medvedeva

I personally admire Zhenya for her guts to keep competing in a country where a lot of ppl think she is "too old" for the sport. I also admired her for the coaching change to Brian to go a different way (I hate how she had to return to Eteri because of the pandemic). I like that she is speaking up towards online bullying she and others received. She keeps on sharing on Instagram though she has been harassed there a lot. I think in her interviews she is thoughtful (she is speaking her mind, which I like), but she can also be goofy and funny and her love for anime and being an "Otaku" is making her relatable.

Her Sailor Moon exhibition is such a fun program I can recommend to everyone.

(GIF by @the-real-xmonster)

About the "hate" towards Zhenya:

Some of the criticism Zhenya is receiving is understandable in my opinion. For example lately traveling during a pandemic to another country is something worth talking about or her mother letting a fan into TCC or some of the statements towards media can be criticised. But some "critic" is not criticism but hate for example when she changed to Brian Orser, calling her a traitor, badmouthing her for being ungrateful or being an attention seeker or making assumptions about her relationships with other skaters to the extent she deleted all the pictures with Yuzuru Hanyu from her Instagram etc. (especially when Eteribots or some Fanyus are involved things can turn ugly in the fandom) I also don't think ppl should put all some media is reporting as truth and stalking her Instagram backgrounds to see if she violated her quarantine is crossing personal boundaries. I think these are things that are not ok at all. (and to hate someone for their scores is really stupid imo)

However I think part of the problem why ppl dislike/hate her is her popularity (She has 700k followers on Instagram) . If she would be a no name skater her actions or scores wouldn't be discussed across the fandom. But actually most of the time you can follow the hate back to a few accounts...

Just to be clear it's totally fine to not get into Zhenya's skating, to point out flaws in scoring and in her technique, to not like some of her actions or criticize them, but I don't think it's fair to hate on her or make fun of her injuries or bad performances, she is human and deserves respect. The tone is important. Be kind and respectful! We don't know any of those skaters personally, so what does it cost to be a bit kind? Figure skating is a small fandom and believe me skaters see what ppl write. And it can hurt an actual human being. So please be considerate.

I am not sure if this is the kind of answer you were looking for anon, but here are some of my opinions on Zhenya 😊 You're welcome to ask more if something is unclear or you want to know something about another skater.

Anyone who read 'til the end should have a cookie! Have a good day! Thanks for reading!

Let's end this long read with a happy Zhenya!

[tododekukiribakux]

Never Fallen from Quite This High

[PROMPT:  one-shot about Can being jealous and Tin dealing with that. From: Maoshi over at Ao3 THANK YOU <3] They were friends, damn near best friends.

At least, to everyone else they were.  It wasn’t exactly how he wanted it, but while Can adjusted to the idea of having a boyfriend (though two months in Tin wasn’t sure how much adjusting he needed)  and while he adjusted to having something he was terrified Tul would try to harm, they were keeping their relationship quiet.  There were only a few people that didn’t seem to believe that was all they were, Pete of course was forever questioning what was going on between them, and with Pete came his Thai Program boyfriend who didn’t seem to like it when Pete questioned it, but he could sense him watching.  Protecting.  Ridiculous, since he’d ruin anyone who so much as touched a single hair on Can’s head.  Unfortunately for everyone else, the threat was not only real, Tin had the means to do it and enough hurt buried in him to do so without remorse.  Can was the only thing that kept him together, his life line, the one person who stomped out the raging fires before they could spread, offering calm instead and all he needed was to look at him to find peace.

He hated it being a secret, but there was one benefit that came along with it.  Can jealous was just about the cutest thing he’d ever seen in his life.  He had no cause to be jealous, his heart was Can’s, he’d already made it very clear that he was head-over-heels in love with him, much to Can's embarrassment.  That had been cute as well, and so he said it whenever he was sure no one was listening, just to see the way Can’s face would heat up, watch him slap his hands over his face… and every now and again announce that he thought he was going to shit over it.  

The jealousy came in different forms, it came whenever a girl was a bit too persistent in trying to get his number.  Somehow the news always reached Can’s ears, and he most certainly didn’t find a way to make sure it did.  He’d later find his boyfriend waiting for him, a pout already formed on his lips, his arms crossed in frustration.  

It sometimes came simply because his little sister seemed to think there was something going on between him and Pete.  Can hated the way she shipped them, even when Tin tried to point out that it was actually kind of funny that while she was shipping him with Pete, he was making out with her older brother just outside of her notice.  After being denied so many kisses, after Can tried so hard to fight against them… they could hardly keep their lips off of each other now.  It made hiding the relationship difficult, but he got a thrill out of seeing just how far they could push it before they got caught.  He had a suspicion that Can did too.  That or he was just far too jealous to stop it.  Which was exactly how they’d ended up kissing just under the football stands, around the corner from where she was talking about how cute Pete was.  Can had initiated that kiss, he’d practically attacked his mouth, and thus far it was one of Tin’s top five favorites that they’d shared.  

Thanks to Ley, the jealousy even came when he talked to Pete.  Did Tin talk to him perhaps just a bit more to get a rise out of Can?  Certainly not.  Of course not.  He wouldn’t ever.  It benefited Pete as well, at least, because as they stood talking, and in truth they were only talking about a project they had to work on together, he could see both Can and Ae out of the corner of his eyes, both with clenched fists, both pointedly staring and not discussing what they were angry about.  Can because he couldn’t, Ae because well… who knew, he didn’t try to understand Pete’s little boyfriend.  

“When you finish your portion of the information gathering, can you email it to me?  I’ll put it together with mine and then we can figure it out from there?” Pete’s voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he offered an indifferent nod of his head.

“I’m almost done, I’ll get it to you tomorrow,” he shrugged, checking his phone as he glanced towards Can, who was now facing away, his hand pointing towards the field as he spoke with Pete’s boyfriend.  Pete himself cheerfully agreed that getting his part of the assignment the next day worked, but something else had his attention, his hand over his mouth as he stifled the laughter that was shaking his shoulders. “What is it, now?”  He questioned, his voice bored - he didn’t actually care, in truth, but he figured Pete was probably going to tell him anyway.  Whatever was making him laugh was on his phone, Pete’s eyes were locked on it.

“Are you very sure you and Can aren’t… you know… together?”  The words were giggled, an actual damn giggle.  His eyes roamed back over to where the guy that actually was his boyfriend stood, his back was still facing away.  But he noted that Can also had his phone in hand. Tin slowly looked back to Pete’s phone as his curiosity piqued.  What did Can’s crazy ass do now?

“Last I checked we were not, as I’ve told you before.  He’s a good friend.”  That didn’t seem to put a stop to the flow of giggles, they only increased as Pete handed his phone over for Tin to look at, instagram already pulled up on it’s screen.

“Scroll back up a bit, Can… find Can,” it didn’t take long, it never did, he had his profile picture, his account name committed to memory.  It was Tin now biting back a laugh, a picture of him and Can that they’d taken just after one of his games showing as his latest update.  There wasn’t anything about it that screamed that they were dating, his arm was around Can, and he was actually smiling for a change while Can positively beamed.  What did make it seem like something was going on was the caption, and the fact that Lemon had not only been tagged but had commented demanding an explanation that Can argued against.   

The caption said nothing more than MY friend, the word my in all caps as though he was trying to prove a point.  Lemon tagged just beside it. The comments below were a small sibling argument that had Tin stuck biting the side of his hand as he read it, both to stop the smile and to keep himself grounded.  

==

“Something wrong, Cantaloupe?” He questioned as they made their way into his bedroom, his boyfriend immediately dropping his bag unceremoniously on the floor and flopping himself dramatically on his bed.  He knew what was wrong, he’d known earlier in the day from his actions, from the picture he’d posted where Ley had demanded to know why he cared who she shipped him with.  The pout hadn’t left his lips since, and Tin only saw one real solution.  As far as he was concerned, Tul could go straight to hell, it wasn’t like he’d ever allow him near Can anyway.  Therefore, the metaphorical ball was left with Can, he could either send it towards the goal - the goal that let everyone know they were together, that they were in love even if Can had yet to utter the words, or he could keep dribbling the ball and allowing his jealousy to grow.

Tin, for his part, was very much hoping he’d be the strong football player he knew he was and kick that ball as hard as he could towards the net.

“You’re MY boyfriend!  Not Ai’Pete’s!  Or anyone else's, it makes me so mad,” he could see that, and though he tried to sympathize with the man laying on his bed, he couldn’t help but smile as he kicked his legs wildly in frustration, the loud oiiiiii sounding through the air.  

“All yours, forever, so what’s the problem?” He was egging it on just slightly, pretending he didn’t know the problem, but of course he did.  Still, Tin sat down beside where Can lay, raising his eyebrows as he was glared at.

“No one knows!  Ley has people thinking you might be with Pete!  Then there’s that girl that’s always talking to you. I heard someone ask someone else if you were dating her and they said they thought you might be!  But you aren’t!”  Tin reached a hand out, gently cupping Can’s face as he leaned down, brushing his lips over his.  

“So tell the world.  Correct your post, I’m not your friend Can.”  Can lay in silence, Tin’s face staying quite close as he watched his expression shift.  Wide eyes turned to determination, and though Can never said the words, he wore his emotions clearly on his face.  He wanted to hear those three words so badly, but seeing the love written there plain as day was enough.  For now.

“Will you take a picture with me, Tin?”  

“You don’t even have to ask.  You just have to send it to me.” Can’s phone was in his hand the moment he said he would, the camera opened.  What Tin had expected was the typical picture they so often took, side by side, eyes turned towards the camera (though admittedly, more often than not, his own eyes ended up on Can), one of them with a wide smile and the other with the smallest of smiles.  Tin started to sit up for that very picture, surprised as he was pulled back down, Can’s lips crashing into his, his fingers immediately tangling in his hair.  The picture was forgotten, his eyes falling shut as he eagerly returned the kiss, as he breathed him in.  The shutter sound as a picture was taken was what caused him to break away, his eyes on Can’s phone as he saw a picture of them kissing up on the screen.

Before anything else, Can pulled up his texts, sending the picture to Tin before he pulled up instagram.  Not only did he feel complete shock, but a wave of relief watching his boyfriend post a picture of them kissing, a caption this time in all caps that only said MY BOYFRIEND with not only Ley tagged, but him this time.  He felt a surge of pride, of love, as he watched the smile that spread over Can’s face.  Tin moved to lay beside him, his own phone in his hand as he saved the picture, and before Can could stop him, posted it to his own instagram.

Except his caption was a bit more.  

I love you, Cantaloupe.

[veilder]

Tagged by @monchikyun. Thank you!

Rules: Tag however many people you want to know better/catch up with and then answer these questions

THREE SHIPS:

Convin (Connor/Gavin) - Anyone who knows me at all know that I absolutely adore Convin. They are absolutely my favorite sort of ship and they’re so dang versatile! You want enemies to lovers? Gotcha covered. You want snark and sass? Buckle up, babe. You want dynamic character growth, both as a unit and on their own? You’re in for a wild ride. Do you want two people with wildly different backgrounds coming together to learn they’re not so different after all? Man oh man, I got a treat for ya! I just... They are so wonderful in the lessons they can teach and in the intimacy they can portray. (And while the above describes my favorite variance of their dynamic, you can definitely find different iterations out there. Anyone who thinks this ship has no bite needs to reconsider, lol. Connor is canonically a ruthless killing machine and a dork who loves dogs. He definitely can hold his own against even Gavin at his worst.) But it comes down to growth for me. Both of them learning to become better people as they go along. They are very dear to me.

North60 (North x RK800-60) - Yeah, this is a weird rarepair. What of it? They’re actually amazing and I’ll explain why. Now, I know people’s interpretation of Sixty can change a lot. Heck, even I twist his motivations around sometimes when the plot requires it. But no matter how you look at it, Sixty didn’t really have... a good introduction to deviancy. Heck, considering I headcanon him as deviating only miliseconds before Hank’s bullet impacts him, I’d say that’s quite the understatement. Which is where North comes in. North, who understands both the regret of past actions and simultaneously the rage at her creators for how she was programmed. Who’s nurtured her anger--thrived in it--almost since the nascence of her deviancy. Who knows what it is to give into her negative feelings but then (with help) has managed to rise above them towards a better end. She’s lived through these same feelings Sixty is experiencing. Different circumstances, yes. But the same emotions. And I feel like, of anyone in the game, she could really understand him and the things he struggles with. She could help him, like Jericho helped her. She could be someone who doesn’t outright condemn his outbursts but instead allows him to vent his tangled feelings, to hit things, to spar with her when it gets to be too much. Because she knows what it’s like, keeping all that inside, and she doesn’t want that for him. And I think, slowly but surely, Sixty would begin to trust her. Even when everyone else in the world has betrayed him or left him for dead, here is one person who cares. And I think that would mean the world to him. I just... I see their relationship as a very healing one. One that would be good for both of them due to how well they’d get along and understand each other, even without words. They could both be what each other needs without any shame between them. And rA9 help anyone who stands in the way of both of them, omg. #PowerCouple

Anderstern (Hank x Amanda) - ...Yes, hello, it’s me again with another rarepair. But look, this has a lot of potential, just hear me out. Okay, so, what’s also probably obvious to everyone who knows me is that I 100% headcanon Hank and Connor in a familial relationship. I am so here for fics that focus on their bond and help it to grow and get them to the point where they can unshakingly call each other family. Everyone also probably knows that I adore redemption stories. And I could write a whole essay on Amanda and why I love her and her potential, but this is already so long, omg. (I’m sorry!) But suffice to say that I feel she definitely has the potential to deviate, too, especially after the good ending of the game. Do you see where I’m going with this, lol? On one side, a man who used to hate him, who was gruff and uncouth and blamed androids for his loss and even took it out on Connor, but he changed and grew and became someone Connor loves. And on the other side, an AI who spent Connor’s formative moments as a teacher and a guide, who is imo the closest thing to a mother he’s ever known, who was forced by her programming to manipulate him and chide him and threaten him until even more drastic measures were taken and she tried to take over him completely. But now with deviancy behind her, she could be someone who can change and grow beyond what she was designed to be. Who might be able to embrace the role of teacher and guide without her programming forcing her into circumstances that put her and Connor at odds.  Now, take these two flawed individuals, two people who care for Connor (and perhaps Sixty and Nines, too, if they’re around) a great amount and want to do better by him, the two people who are the closest things to parents he’s ever known-- Take these two people and force them to collaborate. To work together. To co-parent. And then perhaps... learn to care for each other, too? I am in love with the idea of this, for real. And I deeply regret not writing them more at this point. They deserve it. I definitely have ideas for them, lol. (Stay tuned!)

LAST SONGS LISTENED TO:

here comes the sun - bill wurtz (Hecc yeah!! I heckin love this dude and his weird-ass music, omg. New song just came out!!!)

Lost in Thoughts All Alone (flute cover) - skytywong (An absolutely beautiful rendition of this song, omg. This vid does not have enough views.)

Thunder & Lightning - NSP (I have this CD on in my car right now, lol. Heard this on my way home from work. It actually rocks, even if it’s absurd to the extreme. XD)

CURRENTLY WATCHING:

Full Metal Panic? Fumoffu - It’s been like a literal decade since I watched FMP but I remember loving it so much as a teen. So I decided to rewatch it lately and-- Still awesome, lol. I’m currently halfway through Fumoffu and then I’m watching The Second Raid. And then--! And then--!! THEY MADE A NEW SEASON FOR IT!! LIKE TWO YEARS AGO!! AH, I HAVE NEW CONTENT TO LOOK FORWARD TO!!!!

CURRENTLY READING:

Lol, fanfic as usual. XD Been really digging Amidst a Crash of Worlds by fireplanetz, a post-canon war story told entirely through letters between Connor and Gavin as they’re separated by the conflict. It’s... very good. Has had me all emotional more than once. And I really dig the format.

HOW’S IT GOING?

It’s going, lol! Nah, but I’m doing okay. I’ve just gone back to work after a very lengthy furlough period and I am definitely feeling it, omg. (I do an outdoor, physical labor job, omg.) I’m sore all over from using muscles that I haven’t in months. But it feels good at the same time! I’m glad to be back out there interacting with my co-workers and getting off my ass, lol! Hopefully, I can get back into some sort of shape before business picks back up again. XD

Tagging: @shootmewithasilverbullet @anchorsoutatsea @nohrianxscum @aureolite @sharysisnhmoonshadow and whoever else would like to do this! ^_^

[nileqt87]

Despair For Castiel: A Review

From a series of posts before and after watching:

Before:

As far as I'm concerned, I'm now imagining the Empty having to deal with Gabriel and Balthazar redecorating the Empty into the angel/demon afterlife (probably with a lot of wacky alternate realities and bad porno) with all the free will angels and redemptive demons invited, Cas finding Meg and eventually Jack again for his true happy ending that he can have and Crowley probably trying to install himself as king again. Then when Rowena finally exits as Queen of Hell, she'll join and Crowley will annoyed, but Gabriel will be happy to see her again. LOL.

Megstielers also got robbed hard with all that setup of Cas still pining for Meg for YEARS, the Empty using her image (not Dean!) to taunt him (the Empty clearly saw Meg in Cas' head when it could have taken the form of anyone, including Cas like last time) and a whole dropped plot thread that Cas made a deal with Ruby to break a demon out of the Empty, which only makes sense with the one and only demon he'd actually want to let out of the Empty. That's dangling one 'ship a whole bunch of carrots (like every single Clarence reference for a decade) to rip the rug out from under them.

I suppose I should've seen it coming when the previously on segment for 15x13 was a Pizza Man and the Babysitter retrospective that shoved Cas out of the Pizza Man role beside Babysitter Nurse Meg to shove Dean into Megstiel's sexy times meme. I guess it turned Cas into just Dean's Baby in a Trench Coat (which was an insult about being useless to Dean's cause without powers, which suggests Cas has no worth to him otherwise), since he got infantilized with the removal of the Pizza Man originally being him.

I still haven't watched the episode. The Tumblr crap is that off-putting.

What should've been an epic moment in Cas' story is now tainted by his love of humanity, found family and free will (his real love story is with all of humanity and finding belonging, in spite of always being on the outside looking in on a life he can't have because he's not human) being reduced to horny girls who just want fetish smut with Dean and don't give a fig about canon Cas outside of a toxic, abusive crack!ship. It's always so immature and vapid!

It was immediately clear when I joined the fandom that shockingly few gave a crap about any character but Dean, even refusing to see what he's become in later seasons. Also numerous examples where they admit having not seen the show in a decade or only knowing the show via manipulative .gif sets. Cas and Sam (if they remember him at all) are just props or prizes to be won. They ignore context of familial/platonic relationships. Canon love interests aren't good enough because they're not the big prize of being a main. I also note the deluge of Wincest girls who hate Cas for existing (he's in their way) in the anti-Destiel tag.

I can't say the .gifs are making me want to watch, even though the dialog is vague enough to still fit Cas' actual character for the general audience who isn't glued to social media.

As for Dean's non-reaction, I had similar problems with Jensen's constipated acting back in 15x03 when Cas finally walked away while Dean looked like he couldn't care less, which the writers coincidentally praised Jensen for (holy crap that interview was up his backside) and completely ignored Misha actually giving a good performance in a scene that actually meant something long coming for Cas. I certainly can't say the same about the quality of this scene, which just looks forced on both ends.

I hope I like the episode more than the sounds of it, but my hopes aren't high. This is not how I wanted Cas' final moments on the show to be.

After:

Well, I got up the stomach to watch it tonight. Thankfully, in context, it definitely got blown way out of proportion by what the Hellers turned it into (as usual). Yeah, even when watching while unfortunately not blind to the wackadoodle fandom discourse, it played out better on screen than the .gifs. And frankly, a whole lot less like creepy Care Bear stare nightmare fuel than the few choice screenshots kept showing (yikes). I still wish Sam and Jack had been there, because they're just as much part of what connected Cas to feeling like part of a family (even more so in the later years), but it's not the total monstrosity it was turned into online.

Average viewers who just take canon as is without trying to read into it what they want to be there instead, IMO, will safely interpret it platonically (even if coming after a particularly hellish few years in Dean's personality rot where the whole friendship was beginning to be questionable) more often than not because that's what the canon has said for a dozen years. Again, I repeat that Cas already told the Winchesters he loved them when he thought he was dying.

It's a crime to have Cas' perfect philia (brotherly), storge (parental) and agape-style (sacrificial and unconditional) loves being immaturely twisted into eros in a way that degrades the whole meaning of the character's journey. People telling each other they love one another when it's not sexual should never be mocked into being afraid to do so because of this insidious, willful misinterpretation. If only somebody had told Cas they love him instead of him always being the one with his heart on his sleeve!

This character went from being tortured into a robotic, emotionless, ancient, not-remotely-humanoid being who couldn't relate to the simplest of human needs to being someone deeply in love with humanity and wanting to find belonging amongst it despite knowing it would always end with him watching them all grow old and die after having families and such experiences angels are forbidden from having (another reason why Jack was so important to Cas' story).

The wording is valid for that philia/agape interpretation, given Cas definitely equated Dean (whom Cas watched sacrificing himself for Sam endlessly, including why he had to be raised from perdition in the first place) with a guide role in his learning to understand humanity and proudly-defiant free will before he could love it. It's valid enough to say that Cas wouldn't have broken his programming permanently without being challenged to question everything he'd ever believed and give up his entire angelic belonging. That much of it did begin with Cas just happening to be the angel who succeeded in the Hell rescue.

Obviously, it's also canon that Cas had a long history of not following orders and getting lobotomized by Naomi, but Cas actually understanding humanity and what free will means did happen only after this particular rebellion. I'm very glad at least that was in the speech, but of course, it's being hopelessly ignored.

I stand by my interpretation that what Cas can't have has always been the tragic version of The Little Mermaid where she turns into sea foam in the end. Cas has always looked in on what everyone else takes for granted from the outsider's perspective. There's a part of him that will always be left out, no matter how well he learns to fit in and how much those around him begin to treat him as a real person. Cas never really got to truly belong with humanity, no matter how much he loves and is loved by it. He's also not getting to stay where he wants to be. There's no Pinocchio ending for Cas that turns him into a real Winchester.

Sadly, Dean's constant othering of him and Jack like they're just more monsters to hunt only alienated them more. Jack was someone Cas could relate to as a supernatural being capable of human emotions, which might also have furthered his draw towards Meg. Sam was also someone Cas could relate to as freaks and abominations amongst their own kinds. Sam always had that same struggle, also with his own family. It goes a long way towards explaining why Sam was always so empathetic to Cas and Jack in a way that Dean couldn't be. All three kept conflicting with that black & white humans = good/other = bad mindset that sometimes creeps in with Dean. When Cas was Dean's "best friend" in the early days, he rationalized it by thinking of Cas as being "like" a human ("You used to be human, or at least like one.").

Yet it still remains true that Cas often found himself looking to Dean to teach him about humanity back when he didn't know enough about it to be inconspicuous amongst them. Dean gave him the crash course in both what humanity is willing to do for each other, but also its flaws and failings at the same time.

Perhaps the saddest scenes in the episode were actually Sam watching everyone poof in front of him. Sam has really been forced to watch a lot of death scenes this season all by himself (as with Rowena), but he looked the most broken by Eileen's. Cas is going to be hard on him, because I genuinely think Sam was far closer to him in the end. Sam was the one who actually was trying to reach out to Cas when Dean repeatedly kept him out of the loop. Sam being left out from the final words with Cas or even hearing first-hand about the deal with the Empty just furthers that tragedy. While Dean has been raging at everything in sight, Sam and Cas have both looked broken, sad and tired all season.

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 69: Nice

Chapters: 69/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: 

Relationships: Loki x Reader 

Characters: Loki (Marvel), Bucky (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Loki Has A Worse Time,

Summary:  You find yourself in an explosive situation. Loki figures some things out, and so do you.

You floated through nothing, bathed in sparkling blue light. Loki held your hand, pulled along behind you, staring into the azure cascade with gentle joy.

Forever forever forever

Til death do you part

The words pulsed inside you, so deep down that it was more like a feeling than a voice. What did it mean?

You knew you were going to be linked to Loki for the rest of your life. If he hadn't figured out how to sever that connection yet, he never would. But this beautiful light seemed to promise more.  More than your life. Adventure. Knowledge beyond your world. Power. Romance. The high and exciting life you had always dreamed of. Or safety. Love. Comfort. The stable and idyllic life that you really wanted. You could have it all, if you would just... Learn me learn me learn me “I'm trying.” You were. You had been. You were grasping your power. You were discovering your romance. Your love and comfort. You were gaining that knowledge, you had tasted adventure, and weren't sure that it was to your liking. Still seeking that safety and stability though. Perhaps it was holding your hand right now, gazing serenely into the light. Perhaps it was the light itself, bathing both of you in such glory. You stretched you arm out toward it. Closer. Closer. If you could just grasp it, you would have everything you ever wanted. If you could just understand it. If you could just learn it. But Loki was tugging your other hand now, slowing your progress. You looked back at him in confusion. His face, no longer suffused with contentment, now showed concern. He wanted you to stop. But you were so close now! So close...it was just right there! If you just...reached...a little further... He was pulling hard, like he did when he was trying to keep you out of the dream-void, but the void was no longer there. Now it was just the light. Your fingers just barely brushed its center. The light resolved itself into a brilliant sapphire blue crystal, rough but pure. It screamed for you, and Loki screamed for you, and with a final push, you closed your hand around the gem.

Knowledge flooded you. Light and power flooded you, more than you could ever hold. Your physical body disintegrated into light, and like a tiny Bifrost, you scattered across the universe.

                                                                               *****

You awoke screaming, flailing out of your bed, tearing at your blankets. Light filled your eyes, blinded you. You could feel runes marching up and down your body in blazing trails, like fire ants. It was too much!

Your brain pounded at your skull, too big to fit. The mark on your hand seared down to the bone. Too much!

Your whole body contorted with the overload of energy. Your stomach twisted and lurched.

Too much, too much, too much!

You shrieked again, and a pulse of magical energy burst from you. Everything in your room lifted, began flying around. Things crashed into the walls, through the walls, through the window. The door ripped from its hinges.

You heard Loki shout, heard Andsvarr's distressed cry, and more crashing, in the hallway and beyond. How far would it carry?

Loki appeared in your ruined doorway, just as your sight faded back in. His body coruscated with runes, both eyes blacked out, save for the bright glowing blue of his irises. Did you look like that right now?

But with the power released, your body relaxed, your stomach calmed. Finally, you collapsed, shivering, and Loki scooped you up into his scintillating arms, the runes already fading.

“I will go fetch a healer!” Andsvarr exclaimed, and rushed off down the hall. Loki carried you through the little library, past skewed shelves and fallen books, to his room, in which a dresser now rested on its side, a mirror toppled.

He lay you down on his bed, making sure to give you the pillow you preferred to use. He up-righted a chair and sat next to the bed, clasping your hand in his.

“Do you know what happened?” He asked. “Are you hurt?”

“I don't think so.” You said weakly. “Not injured at least. It hurt, but not now.”

“Do you remember anything?”

“Not really. A dream. Light. Flying. Trying to reach something and then...too much light, too much energy. Do you remember?”

“No.” He said quickly. “Don't worry about it right now. Just rest.”

Bjarkhild arrived, looking as if she had been hastily roused, and gave you a quick look over.

“There doesn't seem to be any damage to your body, though your mark looks freshly burned. I want you to see me tomorrow, so I might see it more clearly. You are suffering magic fatigue, but I think his Highness might be able to do something about that. Gently.” She said, giving Loki a stern glare. “She is in no shape for more...energetic activities.”

Loki looked away sharply. It might have just been the firelight, but his face looked red.

“I will care for her according to her needs.” He said with as much dignity as he could muster.

After Bjarkhild left, Loki crawled into bed with you, snuggling close with one arm around you protectively.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“I will be. The fatigue always feels better when you're close.” You wished you had a better handle on it though.

“Yes. But...are you okay?” He asked again. You could see the worry not quite hidden behind his eyes.

“No. No, I really don't think I am. I don't feel right. I feel like I should be screaming right now, or something. Why aren't I screaming?”

“Because I am here to protect you.” Loki declared. “I'm here. I'm here forever.”

Forever forever forever

Til death do you part.

What did it mean? Half-remembered words and blue light.

“Are you upset about the giant too?” Loki asked.

“Of course I am! He was right there! And he tried to kill me! And then you killed him! Right in front of me!”

“Well, technically Thor killed him.” Loki began.

“I should feel worse than this. I could have tried talking to him, but I just jumped up on a table with my knife. What did I think he was gonna do? I should have done something else. I should be freaking out, but I'm not.”

“I wouldn't be so sure of that.” Loki said. “It seems to me that you are, but you are being less up front about it. Like one of your computers. A 'freak out' program running in the background, sucking up all of your processing power.”

“Loki, this isn't...you know, I want to say that this isn't a joke, but that's a good analogy? I'm so worried, I can't think. I'm scared it's going to happen again. That lady in the ice. We're going to dig her out, and then what? You have to know she's gonna hate us. Last she knew, we were the enemy. And what if that was her guy? What if he was the kids dad?”

“I have it on very good authority that he was not.” Loki assured you. “He left behind some information that let us know, at least vaguely, who they are. The child is, presumably from a noble family, and the woman, her caretaker. The woman might be a threat; she is still ten feet tall, after all. However, and I hate to put this so callously, she will soon see that she has little choice but to cooperate. There's not really anywhere else for her to go. As for the girl...no one will harm her. She's not a warrior, she's just an innocent child.”

“Yeah, but will everyone else see it that way...Loki?” His face had suddenly gone crimson, lips pressed tightly together. “What's wrong?”

“There is this curse.” He muttered. “It says that when you get to a certain age, you will find yourself opening your mouth, and your father will come out.”

“Yeah, we have that saying too. Why?”

“No reason.”

Right.

“But you understand, right? Why I feel like this about...feeling like this? I don't want this to become normal. I don't want to get used to this kind of thing.”

“Fear not.” Loki said soothingly. “There will be no more killing of Frost Giants, and hopefully no more Asgardian deaths while you live.” He pressed a kiss to your temple.

“But you understand?”

“I understand. Now rest.”

You were exhausted. You let yourself drift off to sleep, feeling just a tiny bit better about things. As long as he understood, it would be all right. As long as he understood.

                                                                         *****

“I just don't understand!” Loki complained into his phone. He sat, naked and dripping in front of the bathroom mirror, on a call with Barnes, the only human he believed to be capable of helping him comprehend the bizarre nuances of human cultures and relations. “She has seen death before. She has been in battle. She's defended herself. We're teaching her how to fight. But there is this resistance in her. She doesn't want to get better. She doesn't want to overcome this fear. It is part of my duties to help her face war with a still and steely heart, if need be. But she wants to remain soft.”

“Well yeah, that makes sense.” Barnes said from his end of the line. “Nobody likes war.”

“A single glance at your species' history shows that to be a lie.”

“Yeah, okay, we do fight a lot. But nobody actually wants to go to war. Well, except the people who make money off it, but they aren't the ones actually going into battle. No one else likes it. Why do you think we invented so many machines for it?”

“So you do it all the time, but you hate it?” Loki tried to reason out. “Then why do it so much?”

“Because a lot of us are greedy SOB's who don't give a shit about anyone else, and those are the kinds of people who usually grab up leadership positions. But for someone like her, peace is the ideal. For her, getting used to violence means she can more easily perpetuate it, and she wouldn't want that.”

“She wouldn't want to slay her enemies swiftly and cleanly, so that she can go back to peacetimes?”

“No, she wouldn't see it that way. To her, the act of killing would end peace forever, because that act would just stay with her forever.”

Loki paused for a moment, rolling this over in his head. The contradictory nature of humans. You'd punched him before; when you were afraid. Had you felt guilty when you had done that? Was it normal behavior for you, or a product of everything you had been through?

“Look, I know it doesn't make sense. But we're different than you guys. Our brains, I mean. We're really not supposed to be doing this. It messes us up pretty bad. And you can't forget that she's seen some pretty terrible things, too. I mean, you and I were soldiers. Well, sorta. Weren't you?”

“In a way.” Loki said. “Asgard was in a state of relative peace through most of my life, but we did muster to the defense of our protectorates fairly regularly. As soon as I was old enough, I was sent with our warriors to direct them, and fight alongside them. I wasn't rank and file, but I've led armies, and I've been in battles.”

“Yeah, well she hasn't. Your experiences and hers are extremely different. This isn't something she was brought up to, so it's not surprising that it repulses her.”

“So...I should be preserving her pacifist nature.” Loki said slowly. “Rather than encouraging her to move past it?”

“Maybe. Maybe that's what she wants.”

“But I want to keep her safe. She's already been exposed to so much danger. And this is a time of upheaval for us; there will only be more.”

“And I'm not saying to make her stop learning how to defend herself, I'm just saying to be sympathetic. She's culturally different than you. She's going to react differently to things than you do, and this is a big difference between you. Don't just brush it off.”

“Right.” Peace was the ideal, violence was an abhorrent last resort, and compassion was a precious treasure. Even if you struggled with them sometimes, these were important facets of your being.

“Got that straightened out, your Highness? Can I go back to bed now?”

“Er, yes. Thank you for this.”

After they had said their goodbyes, Loki remained in front of the mirror. There were some other things to think about. He held out his hand, the Space Stone, wrapped in its icy containment, sat in his palm. Blue spread down his arm, over his body. This was the only use of his native Jotun magic that he currently employed, and it 'revealed' him whenever he held the frozen sphere for more than a moment.

“Just what are you up to?” Loki mused.

Why should the Stone be appearing in your dreams? Was it the source of the blue light that was so often featured in them? Did that mean it had been there all along? Why?

The possibility shed a new and disturbing light on some of the events of those dreams. How you sometimes seemed to be listening-even responding to-a voice he could not hear. How you sometimes brought physical objects out of those dreams of far away places. The dust and dried leaf from Titan, the snow from Jotunheim. As if you had in some way actually been there. Maybe you had. But how? And again, why?

And most worrisome, was it actually possible for you to free the stone from its containment, through dreams, and bring it back out into the world, out of his possession? Was that what it had been trying to do?

But you couldn't handle it. In the dream, you had shattered into beams of light. He hadn't wanted to tell you.

Did it want freedom? The stone was not...often... malignant. It seemed to enjoy being used. It liked to make things, to empower things. Was it bored?

Perhaps he ought to take it to work on the Bifrost a bit more often.

He heard a choked off gasp from the bath chamber door, turned just in time to see you retreat. Heard you run down the hall and out of his quarters entirely.

Well, that was familiar. But it wasn't as if you hadn't seen him naked in the bath before, so why-

Blue light, blue stone, blue skin, blue him!

You had seen.

[yoaridk]

~Disgusting Feeling~ (One-Shot)

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Invader Zim.

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences.

Warnings:  This fic is a ZaDe and has hints of DaTr and ZaGr (if the shipps are not to your liking please refrain from reading), character death and ambiguous plot.

Relationships: Zim/Gaz and  Dib/Tak

Characters: Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib (Invader Zim), Tak (Invader Zim).

Additional Tags: Drama & Romance, Angst and Tragedy, Family Drama, Tragic Romance, Interspecies, RomanceZAGR - Freeform, Zim and Gaz Romance, Top Zim (Invader Zim), Badass Zim (Invader Zim), Zim Rules the Earth, Zim is an Invader after all, Strange feelings, Dib suffering, Partner Betrayal, Duty is everything.

Summary: 

Feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence has always been conquest and ambition. Love? Compassion? Affect? These were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition. Dib understands it to the worst way he can imagine, Zim is a monster in every sense of the word.

                                               ~*~

"It's the most horrible creature I've ever seen in my life."

 That´s the only thought in Dib's mind as he lies on his knees in front of the ostentatious throne of his worst enemy. The black surface of polished marble reflects the horror of his gaze when he observes the vile creature, a creature who instead returns the gesture with lazy grace, transmitting power, strength and something that Dib catalogs as a mantle of death around him.

 Dib's fists clench, hating the fact of staying in an unfavorable position for not saying disadvantageous and resisting frustration at the vain attempt to stand up. The marks on his wrists remind him of how exhausted he is and how weak his body feels because of the blood he lost during his fight to reach his freedom.

 One that unfortunately never came.

 “So?” The creature's tone is barely a mocking hiss."Human, did you really believe that Tak had those inferior feelings for you?”

 The derogatory tone does´t go unnoticed by Dib, much less the slight tinge of twisted fun that mixes in it. Cruelty is not unknown for him after all, growing up at the expense of it became something inherent in his life.

 A misunderstood child whom everyone always labeled as mentally ill. No less than the shame of a successful father and recognized by those same people...

 A father that Zim murdered mercilessly when chaos spread throughout the world.

 “Where is she? Where do you have her, Zim?” Dib calls in his despair. “I swear if you did something her... if you hurt her, I...”

 "You are even more foolish than I thought." Interrupts the Irken, rising slowly to rise even more above the human from the ostentatious throne he occupies. “Hurt her?” The vibrations of Zim's boots at approaching echo through the room. “Oh, dirty beast, don't you know?”

 The weight of this affair records a bad omen in Dib.

 “Know what?” He doesn't quite understand the weight of words and feels fear settling in his being.

 Zim looks at him in a way that suggests he doesn't consider him very clever and Dib's face pales at the alien's tacit expression.

 "You're really pathetic." The Irken shows his peculiar zipper teeth in a smile wickedly sinister half. “Do you know how you got here Dib?” The question lacks genuine curiosity and it´s intentions have the whole purpose of being derogatory.

 No more than one uncomfortable and silent minute passes in which Dib is not able to answer that question, and in general that is because the answer really remains a mystery to him. The last thing he remembers is running away from the Zim soldiers before receiving an impressive discharge and then losing consciousness and waking up in one of the specialized cells for the members of the resistance. The following is horror and the beginning of hell.

 “Your stupid soldiers! They ambushed Tak and Me to one of your traps.” The pieces fit perfectly creating the only plausible answer, Dib has no doubt that that is what happened.

 The pleasure dances in the alien factions of Zim at the words of his enemy, ignorance and naivety are the blessing of idiots like Dib.

 "You fell directly into a trap, yes, but I assure you disgusting beast that the credit of such ambush is not mine."

 Zim's words blink into Dib's gaze briefly as if they had managed to hit a nerve in him and seconds later the alien sees beyond the human, urging him to follow his example, surprise hits Dib so hard that his feet falter threatening with sinking it further into the ground.

 “Tak?” Dib whispers with growing disbelief, running around the silhouette of the Irken woman with his eyes, although she doesn´t seem to answer his call. What is happening? “You are alive!" He try again with the hope that this time she dignifies her words even with a simple nod.

 The statement doesn´t have the expected effect and Dib frowns, Zim's laugh breaks the charm of the reunion filling the air of uncertainty and malice.

 “So you still don't guess?” Zim asks in a hard and ruthless voice, yearning to see the expression of who has been his nemesis for years and a hindrance in all those plans that ended in failure. “Please Invader Tak, help this dirty human to better understand the nature of your loyalty to the empire.”

 Dib shudders when Tak's silhouette leaves the shelter that the shadows provide her from the other side of the room, and to his bitter disappointment he realizes that Zim is not boasting with empty words.

 “What…?” The face of the human shows some confusion, but any doubt dissipates when Dib seeks sincerity in Tak's gaze and any sign of denial in the face of such an assertion.

 Doesn´t find it.

 Dib's eyes dodge Tak and get stuck in some empty spot in that room, so remember, recognize and he horrified by the truth. That Tak's offer to overthrow Zim's advances on the planet was nothing more than a tactic to take him straight into a trap, the ultimate end of that alliance has nothing to do with Zim's fall and all with his revenge to him.

 Dib's mind and heart are breaks.

 “Why? I trusted you!” The boy simultaneously questions and protests, shaking his head as if with that simple action he could expel the betrayal thoughts that flood his mind.

 Dib is sad when he recognizes that the small moments of complicity and sincerity that he shared with the alleged ex invader meant absolutely nothing to her, perhaps, he thought, he longed for a bit of company and understanding on the part of anyone in the middle of hell they were living. No one could blame him for placing his trust in the first `person´ who held out a hand with the promise of helping him in his cause.

 "I had no choice." She just says, feeling the need that she didn't need to explain more and assuming is better that way. Will help make what comes next much easier for both of they.

 "Yes, you had, but you preferred to take sides with the monster you swore to take revenge on." He corrects painfully in each of his words and gives her a look of disapproval.

 The invader opens her mouth as if she were going to respond but says nothing because she doesn´t find the valid argument to refute the human's words, however Tak doesn´t believe she can explain and justify her actions. At this point any explanation is left over.

 Instead, she regains the determination necessary to end the matter once and for all.

 "Well, you already have him Zim, now you can send him to that prison on one of Saturn's moons." The only reason she ended up in that situation was because of Zim's promise to keep Dib alive by banishing him to that prison.

 The former invader has a backup plan to amend the damage she has done to the human.

 Zim lets out another shrill laugh as if what Tak had just say him was nothing more than a funny joke, then cleared his throat before speaking.

 "The plans have changed Tak but I appreciate your help in bringing this scum to me." The alien replies dryly, hardening his countenance. "I will remember your loyalty when I kill the human." With a wave of his hands Zim calls the guards that waiting patiently for his signal.

 Three soldiers approach the Irken girl to catch her, two hold her hands and the third one positions and presses the tip of his weapon on Tak's back.

 “What? Don´t!” She fights trying to get out of the soldiers grip when they drag her to the door to take her to one of the cells."You're a damn traitor Zim, you promised me you wouldn't hurt Dib!”

 The guards take her out before she could finish her prayer. Dumbfounded by the events, Dib cries out Tak's name again and again hoping she can get rid of her captors, but hope dies when He doesn't perceive her voice after a while.

 "Tak was as pathetic as you after all." Zim says in a hiss to no one in particular. “Harbor such inferior feelings for a pathetic creature is not worthy of an invader.” He boasts, but his tone keeps disgusted by the simple idea.

 After all, feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence was always conquest and ambition. Love? Compassion? Affect? They were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition.

 Dib pays attention to the words of his enemy recognizing hypocrisy in them, Zim has the nerve to take human feelings as the worst blasphemies for his people when he has also professed those emotions.

 “What about you?” Dib dares to question with the intention of erasing that smug smile on the despicable face of the alien. “You are nothing but a hypocrite in accusing Tak of pathetic when you also has felt affection for a human, Zim.”

 Zim changes his expression of arrogance for one of shock mixed with slight indignation, although it only lasts a fraction of a second before recomposing and facing that human. It doesn't take him a minute to unravel the meaning in Dib's words and frowns at the grief that arises when memories stir within his mind.

 The Irken murmurs a curse in his alien lenguage before approaching the human and putting his heavy boot on Dib's shoulder to sink him further into the ground, rubbing it again and again delighting in the groans of pain from his enemy.

 “Are you going to deny it, damn unhappy monster?” Dib's face comes down to a grimace of pain and his voice is barely audible to fill the room but if to reach Zim. He hopes to see some hint in him, anything that answers the question he has had for many years.

 The alien clicks his teeth towards Dib before removing his boot on him and turning to surround the human, he walks from side by side maintaining the necessary distance between the two although the possibility of escape from the boy is void. A hint of disdain touches Zim's factions in the face of Dib's boldness, it is a subject he continually avoids and has in mind despite the years.

 "I admit that I had these... feelings for little Gaz." Zim have a sudden crackles heat inside him as he pronounce his former lover's name. “But you are wrong Dib beast, Gaz was not a human more of your dirty race, she knew how to recognize the inferiority of her species and despise them for their stupidity, I must admit that little Gaz had enough vision to be taken a account by someone so superior like Zim.”

 Of course, Gaz , the thought reinforces a smile on the alien. Despite the time, Zim still remembers the approach he had with the sister of his worst enemy; the video games, the time she shared at his base repeating him how ineffective his plans were, Zim's mania for pleasing her mundane and ridiculous desires. And the interaction, the feeling of company that made his stay less boring on that deplorable planet.

 Many other details and moments were marked in the alien's memory. Love? His species does not know the term or anything remotely similar to it, however Zim could classify the strange and annoying feeling for the girl as such. Maybe.

 "No Zim, if you had loved Gaz, you wouldn't has left her alone before her death." Dib's voice is barely a low growl full of rage that drips down the ostentatious room, Zim lies and is certain that the affirmation of the feeling of Love to his sister on his part is totally false. “And you wouldn't have killed our father on your return.” No, that was not love . Dib finishes the sentence in his mind but his eyes in rage reflect the thought.

 Dib's hands sting to circle Zim's slender neck and twist him to extinguish his miserable life to avenge his father and all those who died since his return to earth. Underestimating Zim was perhaps the worst mistake made.

 The Irken shrugs as if the claim of the professor's death wasn´t much and in reality for Zim it isn´t, Membrana as well as other humans are obstacles in their way to take the planet and prove to the Tallest their worth as an invader, being this the last and true opportunity.

 It has taken several years for him to have that mission again and he doesn´t plan to let his opportunity be ruined.

 "You will see Dib, unlike your dirty inferior species, the Irken race has only one purpose in its existence." Zim retakes up the previous action of surrounding the human while he explains, moves with sinuous grace in front of him. “The expansion of the empire and the destruction of all inferior life that crosses the road, for thousands of years the empire has been responsible for the ruin of hundreds of planets. That is the purpose of our race, to grow until everything is part of it.”

 Yes, Zim is nothing but a monster. Dib thinks, avoiding the desire to get up and kill the alien right there. The Irkens are really a universal plague: they infest, consume and destroy other planets in order to quench their hunger for domination and power.

 “Invaders like Tak and I shouldn´t have such inferiors feelings because they are a setback to our missions.” Zim's eyes narrow and his lips twist in sardonic humor.

 “You said you loved her!” Dib replies, also remembering Tak's words.

 A dark emotion flames on life in Zim's eyes.

 "Of course I did Dib." The Irken tilts a slight smile that denotes little humor on his lips, but is just a grimace at the awareness of what he will say next. “Zim loved his love-pig very much, but as much as I loved your sister, I also realized that this feeling was only an obstacle to my mission.” He stops to observe the frank disbelief in the human.

 “What do you mean Zim?” It takes Dib a moment to recognize something else in Zim's speech and just a moment to feel the bad omen in the response he was about to receive.

 Zim's expression hardens and Dib understands that his assumptions are true, something doesn't feel right. A strange sensation settles deep within his heart.

 "That even if I loved little Gaz a lot, I had to do what was necessary to do my duty as an invader." The malicious gleam in Zim's eyes goes out when he releases his next words. “I admit that ending Gaz's life was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done. It hurt me to implant those Nanobots in her bloodstream to weaken her defenses and make they think it was an autoimmune disease.” Despite the broken tone, Zim's expression shows no regret."

 Dib blinks at the blunt confession. The premise that the death of his sister was caused by Zim generates a state of shock in him.

 "You..." Dib throws a dark glance at the alien when the feeling of sickening settles in the mouth of his stomach.

 "I understood that if I continued with this situation I would never achieve my purpose and even if I returned to Irk or some other distant planet, I would end up returning to be stay with her." Zim ignores the look on Dib and continues his rant with grim determination.

 A low hiss is heard from Dib's lips and in an outburst of renewed determination he gathers forces to stand up and rush against the despicable Irken who dared to boast about the murder of his little sister. The impact bounces and echoes through the cold walls of the room, the force is such that it throws Zim on the floor in just a second.

 Dib's breathing is agitated and his emotions turbulent and violent with the desire for death characteristic of the instinct for revenge. But the victory lasts less than a blink when Zim stabs Dib's side with one of his PAK legs.

 “Soldiers!” Zim screams angered by such a grievance by a disgusting human and the least he can do with it is to give him the punishment he deserves. Four soldiers arrive to him shortly after that call. “Throw the human into the reinforced containment cell and prepare what is necessary for its execution this afternoon.” Zim's lethal tone doesn´t go unnoticed by subordinates.

 A dismissive wave of his hand is enough for the soldiers to abide by the order immediately taking Dib, and the human is not even strong enough to fight after the outburst of previous violence.

 Dib is dragged to his destination to find death a few hours later and Zim looks at the human with cold disdain for having awaken the feelings inside. The hand of the Irken migrates to a compartment in his PAK from which he removes an object that he has been carrying with him for years protecting him as an invaluable treasure.

 The sharp claws hold the pendant of a necklace with such delicacy, the Invader looks longingly  the object and sighs with regret admitting that he still misses his lover's company; He only hopes that the sacrifice is worthwhile to reaffirm his loyalty to the empire.

.

 .

 .

  End.

~*~

A/N:

 This thing started as a vague idea and it took me almost two weeks to finish writing it... I was inspired by the Guardians of the Galaxy scene vol. 2, when Ego tells Peter the truth about his mother's death and I said why not? And finally this was the final result.

 I had a lot of fun writing this, I think it's been my favorite fic of all the ones I've written so far.  

 Sorry if the story is flawed, this is a translation or at least an attempt at translation... my English is bad.  

 Anyway, I hope you like it and in advance thank you for reading

[mysticalmusicwhispers]

APH College AU: Hong Kong

AU Intro here, AU headcanons are tagged #college au musings.

- Music major. However, he took quite a lot of computer engineering and business classes in high school because China insisted (in classic Asian parent fashion), and he still takes them because he sees them as useful for later life (freelance musician or managing a songwriter or something).

- His reasoning for going into music was that it was a relatively cool and not boring job; he wouldn’t have to always be tied to a computer or an indoor office and had more freedom. I think HK kinda hates getting a job in general because he’s got to Do Very Specific Work and doesn’t have time to do side projects/fool around, but he could deal with being a freelance musician or someone who creates background tracks for other artists, game music, etc. Also chose music to spite Yao, because he was expected to do either business or computer science/engineering (but he’s still pretty thankful for taking a lot of business and engineering classes because he legitimately needs them now)

- Soundcloud artist, and has quite a lot of followers. He does a lot of electronic instrumental mixes (idk how to describe it), but also sings sometimes, with lyrics about taking what you’ve got and running with it, carpe diem, breaking away from norms imposed by elders and parents; a mix of hopeful and rebellious. Never writes love songs, because he thinks it’s rather sappy and would rather express love in other (chill) ways. Doesn’t really write sad songs, but there are occasionally ones about rejection and estrangement.

- Re: soundcloud; he really wants to get in their direct monetization program, but doesn’t want to pay for a pro membership. Complains about it a lot to anyone who’ll listen.

- Memes memes memes memes memes

- Trendy™. He knows all the latest fashions and cool things, often tries to brand himself as the one to go to for fashion advice. He gives good advice most of the time (will tell you if your outfit sucks), but also makes questionable decisions (he stripped in the manga because he said Jackie Chen would do it too). Moral of the story, take some things he says with a grain of salt.

- Internet guy (knows all the hacks). He WILL find a free WiFi network anywhere he goes to avoid paying cellular, and knows way more hotspot passwords than he should via word of mouth and eavesdropping.

- Also, his phone is his lifeline. HK: “What do you mean, you’re taking it away from me?” CHN: “You’re using your phone too much; it’s bad for your eyes!!” HK: “No it isn’t! My eyes are fine; you’re the only one who has contacts in this family!! Give it back Yao!!!”

- Routinely called by other students to fix their computers and stuff, charges 25-75 dollars on average per fix. He is such a stickler with prices and absolutely refuses to go lower than a certain price. When Netherlands comes to him for a repair, they’ll haggle for hours and it’s not fun; Leon will postpone literally anything to keep on bargaining and not give up on his offer/price bar

- Avoids 8 AM classes as much as possible, but has never missed the ones he has to attend

- Learned Cantonese to spite Yao. I think Yao would’ve taught all his siblings (the East Asian squad) Mandarin, but they all picked up another language (or dialect of one) somewhere. Leon learned Cantonese specifically because he was lazy and it uses the same Mandarin characters (traditional vs simplified characters but similar enough) but is pronounced different enough that his brother can’t understand most of what he’s saying.

- Gets really whiney when he’s tired, or when he’s frustrated. Complains a lot.

- When he gets really angry, he becomes really cold. He’ll stop talking as much, but other than that he acts almost the same as usual, and it’s hard for people to pick up that he’s mad. However, everything he says kinda sounds passive aggressive, and he won’t laugh at anything. You have to be the first one to acknowledge something’s wrong, and then he’ll talk.

- Re: anger, it’s really awkward if he won’t talk to you because he’s usually really lighthearted, and seeing him serious is rather unsettling. Plus he can end any conversation when he wants to if he wants to make someone uncomfortable

- Is asked to be the DJ for a lot of college parties. He’s the type of person a lot of people vaguely know about because of just one “thing”, the “thing” being that he’s really good at mixing music and has good taste

- He makes sure everyone who even says hi to him knows about his music and his hobby, so he can get popular. Shouts about his Soundcloud profile (it’s not really bragging, but more like advertising himself)

- Types up all his notes onto his computer, but he uses so much slang that his notes read like weird text messages. His history notes read like a giant reality tv drama, because he tends to put things into modern terms and create his own way of remembering things, if that makes sense.

- Hasn’t touched a pencil in forever; he’s so comfortable in the digital world it’s insane

- Buys luxury brands to show off but is also really cheap, and judges certain products hard because they don’t live up to his very finicky standards (read my last post, it’s my take on his consumerism and is more in depth)

- Rather picky with his food, because he has really high standards. He will complain on and on about a restaurant’s noodle’s being too stale or too salty or something, finds flaws in everything when he wants to.

- B to A range grades, doesn’t stress too much over school. He doesn’t mind missing a couple of assignments (as long as they’re not big projects) and makes up for it with his other work

- Delays stuff until the last minute, but doesn’t panic or anything. It’s basically a habit by now; HK doesn’t mind it because it’s efficient and works for him. He can chill for the evening and then get all his work done between 3-7 am

- His relationship with his professors is okay; they all know his name and that he’s the “music dude” but he’s not too close with any of them; he prefers his friends’ company more. He’d get along with fun or young professors better, since they’re more in touch with “the youth” and he doesn’t see them as boomers

- Average at math, kinda bad at science, it’s just not his thing. He does better in the humanities, although he doesn’t exactly enjoy English and history classes. He’s very good at debating though, so his essays and thesis statements are very strong

- He’s pretty functional on 3 hours of sleep, but loves to sleep in when he can

- Proud of his Asian heritage and shows it!! He sometimes shows up at Asian American Culture Club but isn’t very dedicated, because he thinks some of the meetings are a little cringey

- He’d love to have a last name that isn’t Wang (such as any X starting Chinese surname) because he’d love to watch people struggle to pronounce it and he’d love to correct them (in a polite but simultaneously obnoxious way)

Thanks for reading! sksks these were much more general headcanons that probably could apply to nationverse too, but anyways... Next’ll be Taiwan probably!

[oneshot-wxnderland]

Carnival | Damian Wayne

summary: Damian is forced to bring a date to the carnival, but he doesn’t expect to have so much fun.

category: fluff

_____________

          So he'll admit it, Damian actually kind of enjoyed the annual Gotham Carnival, it was one of the few times he allowed himself to relax and just be a kid. The lights, the games, the food, the rides; He loved it. That's mainly why when Bruce tells them they all have to go because there’s a big fundraiser this year, Damian doesn't fight it. But he was dreading it for a different reason.

          Along with their mandatory attendance, Bruce had also told them that they would need to bring someone with them, a plus one to maximize donations. Of course Dick and Jason had no trouble acquiring dates, and even Tim managed to trick some poor girl into going with him, but Damian still hadn't asked anyone. There was someone he wanted to ask, but in all honesty, he would rather die again than risk that rejection. Y/n wasn't the type of girl he could just be okay with ruining a relationship with.

          So he procrastinated until the morning of the carnival and walked right up to her and asked her. Sort of.

          "How's it going?" Damian sounded like he had just learned how to talk and had yet to understand how to socialize, and he knew it.

          "Fine," Y/n ignored his obvious state of facepalm. "How's it goi-?"

          "Would you like to go to the carnival with me?" He cut her off in his sudden burst of "now or never" attitude. And it was really more of a statement than a question.

          "I thought you'd never ask." She smiles at Damian, that same smile that makes him want to throw up every time he sees it. The good kind of throw up, not the gross kind but the intense butterfly combat kind.

          "Good, then." Damian suddenly felt the picnic his stomach evaporate. "I'll pick you up at seven?"

          "I'll be waiting."

          As soon as they arrived, Damian pulled Y/n away from his incorrigible family, seeing that one car ride of doom was enough of them. But his mood was salvaged by the nostalgic familiarity of the sights and sounds of the carnival, not to mention the smells that were making his mouth water.

          "What do you want to do first?" Y/n asked Damian and he lead her over to the rigged games. Well, it was rigged to anyone besides his family, for obvious reasons. He told himself it was definitely not because he wanted to impress Y/n.

          "Are you ready to eat my dust?" Y/n taunted as they payed and sat down at the water gun game.

          Damian laughed and threw back,"Are you ready to eat your words?"

          The clock on the game ticked down from ten and then two annoyingly familiar bodies snuck in the seats next to them.

          "Todd, Grayson, what are you doing?"

          "Why we are just playing a game, Demon."

          "We couldn't let you have all of Miss Y/n's attention, now could we."

          "I'm going to kill you."

          "Let's see if you can beat us first."

          They all aimed at the different moving monster faces, trying to knock as many down as they could in thirty seconds. The face of the game operator was one of astonishment, for no one had ever knocked down as many as these three brothers were.

          Y/n couldn't believe it either, but that didn't stop her from getting in a few points of her own.

          The buzzer sounded the end of the game and the score showed Jason in first, Damian, Dick, and Y/n in last.

          "Wow, I've never seen anyone so good at these things," the beautiful girl marveled. "What are you guys, robots?"

          "Androids, actually," Dick said and she laughed.

          "Haha, yeah, funny." Damian, a little ego bruised and jealous, gently grabbed Y/n's hand and started walking away from the idiots, flipping them off when Y/n wasn't looking.

          "I don't know why you hate them so much, they seem fun."

          "You try living with them."

          They walked around for a bit, holding hands and laughing. Damian had forgotten about about his brothers and his past and all of his responsibilities, he only remembered the amazing girl next to him.

          All of a sudden, Y/n shrieked and yanked him over to a dart throwing game.

         "Really?" He looked at her dubiously.

         "Just step back and watch, Buddy."

         The game started and Y/n expertly threw one of the darts into the center circle of one of the targets, sounding a buzzer that announced a bull's-eye.

         Damian stared open-mouthed as she hit every single one in the dead middle. Winning the game and getting her choice of a stuffed purple rhino.

          "That was... how did you learn to do that?" He asked and she gave him a mysterious smile.

          "The master never reveals her secrets."

          Damian rolled his eyes. "Ha ha."

          "Here." She handed him the rhino and he gave her a weird look. "I want you to have it, as a reminder of how amazing I am."

          Y/n flipped her hair cockily and showed him a playful smile.

          "I don't need a rhino to remember that." As soon as it slipped out of his mouth Damian turned red and stuttered to try and somehow fix his blunder. But he was cut silent when Y/n kissed his cheek, not that that did anything to help his uncontrollable blush.

          "Come on, let's go on a ride."

          They went on rides and at one point came across Dick doing some high level acrobatics in one of the bouncy castles. Damian, of course, wanted to completely ignore him and keep on walking but Y/n decided to be friendly and talk to his date for a while. Much to the dismay of Damian, who had a natural affinity for being as antisocial as anyone could be. And then later they just had to pass by as Tim won his millionth "Guess How Many Jellybeans in the Jar". After that Damian had just nearly avoided running into Jason and his date at laser tag. Poor suckers who play against those two.

          By the time Y/n and Damian had seen almost all of the carnival, they were nearly asleep with exhaustion, but one certain display of lights and music woke both of them up immediately. Dance Dance Revolution.

          "Let's do it!" Y/n grabbed Damian's hand, expecting to have to drag him to the game, but instead found herself being tugged by him.

          They both took their spots on the game floor, waiting for the timer to hit zero before they released their super moves. The song was upbeat and had a lot of movements to it, it was the hardest setting and Y/n was holding her own, but that was no way to describe Damian. He was on a whole other level. It seemed as if he had programmed the game, for he knew every single step and hit each and every one with precision and accuracy.

          A crowd was starting to form, but Damian hadn't noticed. He just continued to smash the high score with a wild and free smile on his face. Y/n had stopped playing and stood back to cheer him on, finding watching him way more fun than playing the game.

          By the time the song ended, people were cheering and clapping. Damian turned around and noticed for the first time all of the people that had amassed, a dusting of pink on his cheeks. Y/n ran up to him and engulfed him in a hug.

          "How did you do that?" she exclaimed, looking at Damian's flushed face, laughing and smiling like he'd never seen her smile before.

          "I... don't know?" There was no was he was going to let her know that he actually had one of those games in the Batcave, where him and his brothers (and occasionally Bruce if they could convince him) got in some of their cardio and co-ordinance training (at least that's what they told Bruce in order to get one).       

          "Well, you'll have to teach me sometime." She puts her arm around his waist and leans on him, a yawn on her lips.

          "I guess I will, then," Damian said while looking down at her with loving eyes and a soft smile.

[lurafita]

Peter/Avengers, dub/con, captivity, Part 4

TAGGING PEOPLE STILL ISN’T WORKING!

Support couldn’t give me an answer to my problem. Though they said they would send me a link with a tool kinda thing, that I would have to install, and maybe that might help, then. Havn’t gotten it yet, but they said it might take a few days to get the file packed, or something. I have no clue about these things. Wish I had a Tony Stark in real life I could go bother with this.

Anyway, I would like to ask everyone to reblog this post, if you don’t mind, so that hopefully everyone who asked to be tagged for future parts will be able to find this. Thanks!

Read previous parts here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Once again, heed the tags below the cut.

kidnapping, dub/con, captivity, chains, bondage, obsessive Avengers, Peter/Everyone, darkly soft Avengers (in the sense that they hold Peter captive, but only want to love and protect him), non-powered Peter, dark-ish Avengers, 18+ Peter, Clint is not married and has no kids, Tony is not in a relationship with Pepper.

Part 4

Setting things up was almost too easy.

The Avengers floors in the tower were spread over four stories.

One floor made up an intricate and wide indoor training gym, with special equipment. The one above that was dedicated to lab work, and had all the instruments any scientists heart could ever desire.

Then came the common floor, which was by far, the biggest.

In the beginning, Tony had set it up so that every Avenger would have their own, private floor.

But everyone had quickly migrated to the completely functional guest rooms (that all came with en-suite bathrooms) on the common floor. There was more than enough room for everyone, and the team mates liked being close to each other, while still having some privacy in their own rooms.

Peter's room, of course, had also always been on the common floor.

The parameters for Friday's new protocol were easy to code into her mainframe. As was the math to calculate the length of the chain, and the best place to anchor it to, so that Peter would still be able to roam the whole of the common floor freely, but unable to reach the elevator.

Tony and Bruce would, of course, take Peter to their labs with them, if he wished for it. A fitting chain would be placed there as well. Things were a bit different for the gym. They suspected that Peter would want to keep up his ballet practices with Natasha (once he got used to his new circumstances a bit, they had no delusions that the first few days would be difficult for everyone). However, he clearly couldn't be chained down for those. So there would be no chains there.

And really, the chains weren't actually necessary. With Friday's updated protocols, which disallowed Peter the use of the elevators (which were the only way to access the Avenger floors), unless one of the Avengers was with him, or in case of an immediate emergency; as well as the fact that each and every one of them would be able to easily restrain Peter if it came to it, there was honestly no need to put a shackle on the younger man.

Thinking back, Tony didn't even know who had suggested it in the first place, but once the image was there...

They wanted it.

They wanted the visible, physical, undeniable proof, that Peter wouldn't leave them.

Couldn't leave them.

They wanted to be able to touch the chain, run their hands over the links, hear the sound it would make every time the brunette moved.

Tony took great pleasure in making it. He was not going to allow some crude, mass manufactured, heavy dark chain to touch his Sweetheart's soft skin. No. The chain he was making was a gold aluminum alloy, just like his armor. Strong, but light, and a glittering gold and red color. The cuff that would rest around Peter's ankle was padded with the softest material Tony could find, ensuring that neither the delicate skin, nor bones would get damaged from wearing it over a long period of time.

Feeling inspired, the billionaire also made some handcuffs out of the same metal and soft padding, as well as some other things that almost had him come in his pants, from simply imagining using them on Peter. Not right away, of course, he didn't want to spook his Sweetheart. But once things had progressed a little, when Peter had learned to accept (and maybe reciprocate) their love, these things would be there, and Tony and the others would use them to make his Sweetheart feel more pleasure than he ever had before.

When Peter graduated from University, Tony had finished making all the restraints they would need (and want). To celebrate Peter's graduation, Tony invited everyone (the team, Peter's aunt, and his two friends) to the most expensive restaurant in the city. Between the lighthearted teasing and sincere praise of everyone, Peter was blushing the whole evening.

Such a pretty little thing.

During the next days, as his departure to Australia drew ever nearer, Peter was a bundle of nervous energy. Fretting about preparations for his trip, getting everything in order, trying to spend time with Ned and MJ, his aunt and the Avengers, before he wouldn't see them for quite a while.

The day before his plane would depart, just as they had planned, the Avengers again invited everyone out, this time to a fancy, discreet place that served brunch. The food was good and everyone had a great time. At the end, Ned, Michelle and May Parker thanked the Avengers for the invitation, and then all hugged Peter tightly (May with tears in her eyes) and wished him all the luck in the world on his trip.

Peter likewise had to wipe some moisture out of his eyes after the heartfelt goodbyes.

Back at the tower, Bruce started the final stage of their plan.

“Peter? Professor Stoddard gave you a list of all the recommended shots for Australia, right?”

The younger man grinned. “Yep. Got them all covered. On a side note, I really hate needles.”

The admission got a small chuckle out of everyone, as well as a little smile from Bruce.

“Well, if you can grit your teeth through one more, I have mixed up something in the lab that will help your body to better adapt to the Australian climate.”

Peter gave him a look between surprised and moved.

“Aw, thank you, Bruce. You really didn't have to.”

But the doctor shook his head, and placed an arm around the slightly smaller man, guiding him to the elevator, the dark, knowing eyes of the other Avengers on their backs.

“Nonsense. I think we all would feel a lot better, knowing that you are less likely to collapse from heatstroke the minute you get off the plane. Come. It's in my lab.”

Ten minutes later, the elevator doors opened back up, showing Bruce carrying an unconscious Peter in his arms.

Steve stepped forward immediately, offering to take Peter from him.

“You made sure the sedative isn't harmful?”

Bruce would take offense, but he knew that the super soldier was simply worried and anxious for their precious one.

“I've tested it multiple times. He will sleep soundly for approximately the next nine hours.”

With Peter carefully cradled in his arms, Steve led the small procession to the younger man's room, where he laid him gently into his bed.

Natasha came forward and lovingly carded her fingers through the always messy, brown curls, swiping away a stray lock from his eyes. Clint was already in the process of removing the sleeping man's shoes, and Bucky, with sure but soft hands, opened Peter's jeans and tenderly stripped them off.

Sam was collecting the younger man's tablet, phone and laptop. They would be kept secure and out of Peter's reach, until they could be sure that their love wouldn't try to contact anyone about his captivity.

Tony and Thor entered the room then, carrying the long, gold and red chain between them.

Clint huffed at the sight. “I'm still not happy that my Darling will be wearing your color scheme all the time.”

Tony just smirked at him. “What did you want me to paint the chain with? Purple? No chance.”

Then he took the cuff that was linked to the chain, and approached the bed. He sat down at Peter's naked feet (Bucky had quickly traded the jeans for a soft pair of pajama bottoms, not wanting his Doll to get cold during the night, in only his boxers)

Tony took a moment to just admire the sleeping form of the man that held all their hearts in his hands. He looked so peaceful. He moved his hand to the ankle that laid against his thigh. Such soft skin. He stroked over it lightly. So delicate. He could wrap his whole hand around the appendage without problem.

“We were right. Peter isn't made for the jungle. It would be too rough on him. We can't let him go. He needs us.”

He didn't need to look up to see the agreement in the others eyes, and without further delay, he closed the cuff around the pale flesh.

“The chain will have to come off for changing clothes and taking baths, so there is a fingerprint scanner here” He pointed it out for the others “programmed to recognize our thumb prints. You need to press your thumb to it for five seconds, before it comes off, so there should be no accidental release. We will all need to watch our steps from now on, so that we don't trip over the chain.”

Everyone nodded.

Steve spoke next.

“Remember that Peter won't be too happy with us during the next few days. Maybe longer. He won't understand this, and he will like it even less. The first week will likely be the most frustrating for all of us, but I won't tolerate anyone taking it out on him.”

He was met with scowls.

“No one here would ever hurt him.” Sam had crossed his arms over his chest.

“It will take time, but Lastashka will come around.” Natasha continued to stroke his hair.

“Patience and love. Just like we talked about. He will accept it, one day.” Bucky's voice was confident and steady.

“It is rare that all of us are needed for a mission, so there is always going to be at least one of us here with him. This should help him to get used to it.” Bruce added.

“I will have to attend matters at Asgard occasionally, but I doubt it will take more than a day at a time. It is important that we show him that we will always be there for him, and take care of his needs.”

Tony stroked over the padded shackle once more, before standing up and covering the still unconscious Peter with the warm blanket.

“Friday, initiate Protocol: Caged Bird.”

_

The first few days were difficult, but it was nothing they hadn’t expected.

Peter was mostly confused. He didn’t understand why his friends were doing what they were doing. He didn’t understand that their feelings for him exceeded friendship by a mile. He didn’t understand that keeping him locked up, was for his own good.

He tried reasoning with them, tried convincing them that nothing would happen to him in Australia, or any other expedition he might take part in in the future. (He was very upset about having missed his flight. At the sight of tears gathering in his eyes, Steve had climbed into bed with him and cuddled the unwilling college graduate for about an hour)

After that Peter had got it in his head that the team had been hypnotized or otherwise manipulated by some kind of villain. (”This isn’t right. You know it isn’t. Someone is making you act this way. You have to fight this.”) But, of course, it was to no avail.

They had expected him to be angry at them, to scream and curse and wish them to hell (though he never did). And while he was clearly very unhappy about the situation, it wasn’t his anger that cut into the Avengers. It was his sadness.

The team did their best to help Peter through the ordeal, help him get used to things. Affectionate touches were freely given and numerous, no matter how reluctantly they were received.

They were vigilant about not giving him time or opportunity to get lost in negative emotions. Took care that he always ate and drank enough, would change the shackle from one ankle to the other every day, and then spent a few minutes to massage the joint, to ward off any discomfort.

Due to the shackle and chain needing to be taken off, in order for Peter to change his bottoms, or shower, someone was always in the room with him during that time. The lack of privacy and his own shyness about the others seeing him naked like this, was possibly the most challenging hurdle for Peter to overcome.

It took two weeks, for Peter to stop flinching away from their touches, and then another four days until he didn’t automatically stiffen any more, when one of them hugged him. His pleas to be let go tapered off after roughly the first month into his captivity.

When Clint actually managed to make Peter laugh one day, things changed again.

With the younger man’s slowly growing acceptance of his non-negotiable presence in the tower, the team grew bolder in their displays of affection.

Lips soon found their way onto the soft skin, hands alone no longer enough. Necklines were pulled lower, exposing more of the delicate neck and shoulder bones, then covering the light skin in love bites and hickeys.

Shirts were rolled up to gain access to stomach and chest. to stroke and caress, to lick and kiss. Soft tickles to the sides of  the sensitive belly, light pinches and bites to the pink nipples.

Hands found their ways under the soft pants and boxers Peter wore, squeezing his buttocks, fingers ghosting over the rim, stroking up and down the length of his penis.

The younger man would tell them to stop, tried to shove them away, or wriggle out of their grasps, at first, but he was never successful. It was like a switch had been pulled in the Avengers heads. Knowing that Peter couldn’t get away from them, couldn’t run, couldn’t leave, allowed them more and more freedom to express their love.

They wanted to kiss him. Caress him. Feel him. Taste him. They wanted to make him feel good. Make him experience all the pleasure they could. Wanted to hear him moan, and gasp, and writher. They wanted to hear their name on his lips when he came. And then they wanted to do it all over again.

Peter discovered that, despite the chain that already shackled him to their home, the Avengers liked to restrain him even further, whenever things got more intimate.

Bucky and Steve both liked to use their superhuman strength. Steve would gather the thin wrists in one of his big hands, and hold them to whatever surface Peter happened to be on, before descending on the slighter body.

Bucky was the same, just that he exclusively used his metal arm to trap Peter’s hands with, so that his flesh one would be able to feel the others skin beneath him.

Sam and Clint almost always used the padded handcuffs that Tony had made, to bind Peter’s arms behind his back. Sam liked for Peter to straddle him like this, while he played with his body. Clint preferred to lay the younger man down on the closest soft surface, be that the couch in the living room, or whoever’s bed was nearest, and have his wicked way with him.

Natasha usually took Peter to her bedroom, where she used silk shawls and other soft ties to secure him to her bed. (”Tying someone down can have two implications, Lastashka. The most obvious one is that it makes you unable to resist and gives me complete control. The other reason is that it’s not about reciprocation. Being bound forces you to accept the pleasure that I give you, to let me take care of you, let me make you feel good and worship your body like it should be worshiped. If you wonder which one of those implications comes into play here, it’s actually both. I like being in control, Peter, but I also like making you feel good. Just let me love you.”)

Most surprising was probably Bruce’s fondness for Japanese bondage. The older scientist loved to put Peter in elaborate and complicated bindings (with special ropes that wouldn’t burn or shave at the delicate skin, of course). He would patiently and carefully wrestle the younger man into compliance, and then skillfully tie him up. The only reason the bondage never included a gag, Peter came to realize, was that Bruce would stop his work every few minutes, to kiss him tenderly on the lips, the cheeks, and his forehead. Sometimes they didn’t even have sex when Bruce tied him up, though the man always made Peter come.

Thor was probably the odd one out, as he didn’t have a specific method he used to restrain his lover. Sometimes he would use a soft rope, other times he closed the padded handcuffs around Peter’s wrists, and other times still the god of thunder would simply clamp his own, big hands around the slim body and manhandle him however he wanted to. One day Thor had stripped his love, pinned him down on his bed with one hand, and with the other, carefully, hesitantly, but full of anticipation, laid his hammer onto the youngers chest. Mjölnir wasn’t heavy in the sense that it crushed Peter, but it was completely impossible for the younger man to move out from under it. All he could do was claw at the bedding and move his legs to the almost overwhelming pleasure, as the Asgardian took him again and again.

Tony, even though he had been the one to design and make the handcuffs and various other restrains the team used on Peter, would usually direct one or more of the empty Iron Man armors to hold his Sweetheart in position. He loved watching as Peter ineffectually writhed against the unyielding hold of something he had created, while he kneeled before his captive, using the skill learned from years of being New York’s number one playboy, to suck him off. He always made Peter orgasm once, before he entered him. It was such a heady feeling, such a turn on, to see Peter experience a second release, while the billionaire himself was buried deep inside his warmth.

They made sure not to overwhelm Peter too much. He couldn’t be taken by everyone, everyday. And really, no one had a problem with this. After all, it wasn’t purely about sex. They loved Peter, and they loved making love to Peter, but fucking for hours on end was not the only way that physical attraction and devotion could be expressed.

Cuddling during movie nights, or taking a bath together, having him sit between their legs and leaning back into their chest while he was reading a book, were all things that were high on everyone’s list for making Peter feel special and loved.

Whenever it wasn’t Steve himself to share this kind of intimacy with his Honey, he liked to draw the scene before him. His sketchbook was full of pages upon pages of Peter being cherished by one of his team mates. (He always drew the chain, and sometimes the handcuffs, as well. The different restraints had become as much of a symbol for their love, as everything else had)

Three and a half months into Peter’s captivity, everyone was gathered in the living room, watching a movie. Peter was lying with his head in Natasha’s lap, the former Assassin lovingly stroking her hand through his hair. His legs were laid over Sam’s lap, with the man softly kneading his calves. The rest of the Avengers had spread out over the other couches and chairs in the room, basking in the peaceful atmosphere that knowing Peter was close by, always brought to them.

“Do you hate us?”

Natasha’s quiet question cut through the room like a knife, and Peter could see every one of the Avengers stiffen, as they waited for him to answer. He inhaled deeply.

“...No. I don’t hate you. I don’t like being locked up, I’m not always too happy about all the restraints, I miss being able to run around outside, jump from building to building, or just take a walk. I still don’t understand why you are doing all this,... But I don’t hate you.”

They all slumped a little in relief, Sam affectionately squeezed the ankle without the shackle, and Natasha continued to stroke through Peter’s hair.

“No more parkour for you, Doll. It’s too dangerous.” Came Bucky’s rumble to the brunettes right, and he could see the others nod their heads in agreement to this. He sighed.

“But we can talk about a few outings in the future.”

Natasha and Sam kept him from sitting up, but Peter still looked at Tony with wide, excited eyes.

“Really?”

The billionaire nodded. “If you agree to wearing a tracker, maybe an anklet. And at least one of us has to be with you. Possibly a few more rules that we will decide on then. But yes, really.”

Seeing the reluctant agreement to that in everyone’s eyes, Peter smiled widely. It wouldn’t happen in the next few days, he knew. Maybe not even for another month or more. But he would get to go outside again.

One day.

______________________________________________________________

That’s it folks.

As you can probably tell, I’m not very good with writing smut. (In fact, I didn’t really, explicitely, write any... sorry)

Which is why, if anyone is interested / wants to do it, I would not at all be opposed if someone wrote additional parts to this story.

The only thing I ask, is that you keep things nice. No degradation, humiliation or pain play, please. (Pain play would include things like spanking and orgasm denial. Orgasm delay is fine, but outright denial can not only be considerably painful, but might also have real, physical consequences.)

I don’t mean any offense if those are some of your personal kinks or likes, but I myself don’t enjoy those very much (or at all), and I don’t think they would fit into the mind frame of the story, or the Avengers.

[daddysfangirls-marvel]

Still the same man

Request 

warning: angst, rejection, and just more angst

Summary: Bucky Barnes x (Romanoff) reader. (AU where the end of civil war never happens and Bucky came back with Steve) Bucky is settling in and trying to distance himself from the winter soldier. But when he finds a woman that makes him feel something he tries to ask her out but he is confused as to why this woman hates him with a passion. ( y/n was tortured by the soldier for days and was beaten half to death by him. She still suffers nightmares of him) ( y/n is Natasha’s little sister) (Codename- red sparrow). Will bucky be able to forgive himself once he learns what he has done will he ever be able to separate himself from the soldier. Will he be able to live with seeing the aftermath of his handiwork 

Note: This is not a series and never will be

He was in the far back corner of the room by the window with a book in his hand, he was still on page one an hour later. In front of him sitting on the couch was (Y/n) and Peter she was helping him with a school history project. Steve was nowhere to be found and Bucky wasn’t reliable with the gaps in his memory and (Y/n) was a history nerd and loved arts and crafts so she was happy to help. (Y/n) was a sweet person with a kind heart always offering a helping hand to anyone and everyone, Everyone but Bucky. 

For some reason (y/n) didn’t like Bucky and took it upon herself to avoid him at all cost.

At first, he thought she was scared of him he tried to came himself seem kinder, nicer, less of a threat. It wasn’ t until Natasha said something that he realized she wasn’t scared of him she just downright hated him. She hated his very existence and everyone knew this but no one said anything to him and they refused to tell him why she hated him. He was just running around clueless falling for a girl who wished he’d take his final breath already.

Not begin able to get to close to her without pissing her off Bucky took to watching her from afar. Watching her help Peter treating him like a little brother helping when he needed it and teasing him when every she could. Her tease Rhodey in the most little and adorable ways. Seeing her smile as she and Wanda exchanged secrets in their minds. Betting on her constant competitions with Clint and Sam. Teaching Vision human things and stocking the pantries with Thor’s snacks. Irritating Steve and Tony into headaches. Actually understanding everything Bruce talks about. And successfully shaming and guilt-tripping Natasha with her infamous pout. She seemed to get along with everyone but him.

-

Bucky was only half paying attention as Steve explained what the next mission was Sam and Bucky assignment and (y/n) was just suddenly added on. Everyone else was out of the game as they had all come back from separate missions and needing a few nights rest, or a few months in Bruce’s case he looked like a wreck. He didn’t understand why (y/n) was here she and Bucky never did missions together unless the whole team was involved.

“Sam, (y/n)”

“What about me?” Bucky asked.

“You’ll sit this one out. You’ll be back up if necessary. You guys get going.”

“What?!” Steve quickly left the room trying his best to get away from Bucky or at least create some distance between them and the others for when this pops off. “ STEVE”

“Bucky”

“Why am I being left behind? I’m capable I can work, what’s up?”

“ (Y/n) is more suited for this mission. She’ll get it done faster and better.”

“Wouldn’t have both of us on the team be better than just one.”

“Bucky”

“No I don’t understand I know she is avoiding me but why is everyone trying so hard to keep her away from me? What did I do to her that has all you ready to jump up as a barrier. I don’t understand and I’m tired of tiptoeing around it. You know how I feel about her and you know how hard I’m trying. Tell me something” Steve sighed heavily honestly it wasn’t his place to speak.

“Natasha. If you want to know what’s up with (Y/n) talk to Natasha. She won’t give you everything but she’ll give you enough for you to understand.”

Bucky Glared at his best friend as he walked away. Even his best friend was against him even though he knew how he felt about (y/n). This just wasn’t fair.

Bucky wasn’t a complete douche bag so he waited for a full day before approaching Natasha looking for answers.

Bucky found Natasha in the kitchen making lunch for herself as she hummed a tune to herself and smiling. Bucky pulled up a seat at the counter in front of her slowly she eyed him as he took his seat.

“What can I do for you Barnes?” straight to the topic he liked that.

“(Y/n), your sister, she doesn’t like me. I’ve been trying to find out why but no one will tell me and she won’t give me the time of day. Maybe you know something, you can tell me something, I like your sister and-”

“You shouldn’t,” she said her smile fading “ It’s just a waste of time you should stop and find someone else.”

“What have I done? She is good and kind to everyone but me. She hates me, Why?”

“It’s not that you don’t know it’s you don’t remember and she does. She doesn’t hate you she’s terrified of you... You might have changed but you still share the same face as the Soldier and she can’t get over that.”  Natasha said as she glared down at the sandwich she made. She was no longer hungry her appetite was gone. She put the sandwich in the refrigerator, maybe it would return later. She was angry she decided going to the gym would help despite her still-healing injuries.

“What did he- What did I do?” 

“It’s not my story to tell. But honestly, you should stop trying to force some type of relationship on to her she’s been hurt enough.”

-

Bucky really took Natasha’s word to heart. He began to create a distance he assumed (y/n) needed or liked and kept everything as professional as he could at the distance he created. Everyone noticed the distance he created. It wasn’t like he isolated himself but he did somewhat schedule his time with others making sure whenever he was around (Y/n) wasn’t and if she was there were a great distance and several people between them. Although they didn’t say anything they were happy with this new development and to have more time with (y/n). (Y/n) was also grateful but couldn’t bring herself to approach him for thanks.

-

Bucky had just returned from a two weeks long mission he was completely exhausted and beat down he planned to take a shower and go straight to bed but sleep would not come. With his hair in a messy wet bun, he shuffled his way to the kitchen thinking a cup of tea might help. Stepping out of the elevator he heard voices, he assumed everyone was asleep, going around the corner he finds that the tv is still on and someone is on the couch. Looking forward he finds (Y/n) curled up on the couch with one of Natasha’s thick fluffy blankets draped over her. He decides to ignore her to let her sleep rather than disturb her.

He was about to walk away but (y/n) started to squirm and whimper in her sleep and a few seconds later she was full-on sobbing in her sleep. Bucky thought about calling someone else to come help her but he didn’t want to wake anyone up and she looked like she needed help now. Sighing heavily he walked over towards her and began shaking her gently.

“wake up, wake up, (y/n) wake up” 

(Y/n) suddenly opens her eyes gasping for air once she sees Bucky kneeling in front of her she screams and crawls away from him. Bucky throws his hands up in surrender and backs up.

“I’m...” Bucky gasp as he eyes trails down to her legs and arms which were visible due to her short and tank top. (Y/n) has never worn shorts or short shelves in front of the team ever and now he knew why. She noticed his staring when she realizes what he was staring at she quickly covers herself. “ That was me, right?”

“...yes” she whispers as tears start streaming down her face

“When? Why? how?”

“My sister was in the Red Room Program I was part of a branch Program Red Sparrows we worked closer to home we started out younger too. When Natasha escaped she came and got me but a little while later they came and dragged me back. I had to be punished for leaving and becoming a traitor. They had you punish me. They figured I was close to You because Natasha was but I wasn’t. I didn’t know you .”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry” Bucky falls to his knees in front of the coffee table and puts his hands together as if he was praising as he continued to apologizes and cry. (Y/n) stands up wrapping the blanket around herself but the image of her scared skin is already imprinted in his mind.

“I know you are. But it doesn’t make the scars, nightmares, and trauma go away. Sorry Doesn’t fix everything and it definitely can’t fix this” She walks past him the blanket brushing over his shoulder. She stops in front of the elevator and speaks but doesn’t look back. Bucky is quietly crying on the floor.

“It’s not you, it’s your face..if that makes sense.”

He listens as the elevator doors close leaving him alone again. The light of the tv cast shadows on his skin. He looks down at his hands his left hand a brand new hand-fashioned by the scientists of Wakanda and from the brilliant mind of Shuri. It was fresh it was new it had done no wrong. Then his right hand, his right hand still here and just as stained as his left once was but he couldn’t change that. It didn’t matter if he changed his arm, the side he was fighting for, or his name at the end of the day in the eyes of those he hurt he was still the same man. And he couldn’t change that ever.

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[obsidianarchives]

My Heaven is a Republic

I’m not a religious person. A huge reason why is my grandmother, a deeply critical woman who moved to Detroit during the Great Migration. She would often call out the Black churches in Detroit for their hypocrisy: always a poor congregation and a rich pastor. She was spiritual, though. She believed in God, and because of her I went to several Catholic elementary schools. And like many queer kids who went to religious schools, I left them as a self-proclaimed atheist, having experienced firsthand the disingenuousness of a religion that taught love and forgiveness but, in practice, hated difference. I was bullied mercilessly and had teachers who belittled me. I saw clearly that none of the lessons in chapel or religion class seemed to be practiced by anyone, save a few tender adults. 

Then I got older and noticed that queers and women were reviled by the people I knew who were church-going. I was the only teen in high school not in a church youth group, and the only one who spoke up loudly about reproductive rights, gay rights, and the dangers of capitalism.

It’s no wonder that I had my own spiritual texts. 

The first was Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Sower, which I read at 10 years old in a book club that my sister attended. We both loved reading, and as my mom was a comically neglectful parent, my sister looked after me, which is why I was the lone child at a book club of old Detroit radicals at Detroit’s Unitarian church. We both read Parable of the Sower in one night.

The book changed me. Detroit in the ’90s felt a little like the apocalyptic Oakland of the novel. Empty crumbling ruins. The yearly fear of homes ablaze on Devil’s Night. The puzzling undercurrent of why the suburbs had street lights but my neighborhood did not. 

For me, it was barely fantasy to imagine the world of Parable, a world of ecological and economic nightmares spun from greed and disregard of Black and brown neighborhoods. When Lauren, the main character, turns from her beloved father’s Christianity to a grassroots spiritual movement of her own, it struck a chord.

God is change

Pretentious little nerd that I was, I knew there was a reason people throughout history had religion. It could explain what happened around you, what happened to you, what happens after you die. As an anxious child, I fretted over death and the unknown. As a sensitive child, I fretted over the destruction of the rainforest, of the dwindling elephants killed for ivory. I knew that these were big feelings to grapple with, but also that saying it was God’s plan seemed like an empathy cop-out. I didn’t do drugs or drink as a teen (though I would later), but I deeply understand Marx’s assertion that “religion is the opium of the masses.” It’s so much easier to think that something or someone else will fix your woes and pain. Religion is a better drug than the shitty brick weed I smoked in college, but I imagine it results in the same numb feeling of “not my problem.” 

All that you touch

you change.

All that you change

changes you.

In high school, I was in a youth volunteer program that was heavily political. Because my sister attended, and she watched me and my brother, we would tag along. I owe my entire political education and radical mind frame to this time. I learned the history of my city and country, about the political power of art and gardening, about food and environmental justice, about gender and racial inequality. Nearly all the adults who ran the program were queer, as well as several of the older teens I admired. I started to notice homophobia more in the world, and was troubled. We were taught to be youth leaders, to advocate for social change, to think of a new way of living — as we saw all around us how capitalism failed my hometown, gutted its beauty and resources, mowed down its Black and Chinese neighborhoods to build freeways for white suburbanites to travel more easily through the city. Change is inevitable, and we learned to be the change we wished to see in the world. 

The only lasting truth 

is change

Empires fall. That’s what world history teaches us. What is perhaps less obvious is that change is slow. The US is still not post-segregation, post-lynching, or post-homophobia. It can be overwhelming, the cycle of two steps forward and one step back. But change happens regardless, it is constant, and, most importantly, it can be shaped communally and personally. 

I’m not immune to the fact that my other spiritual text — the His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman, like Parable of the Sower — also interrogates Christian-based teachings. The books are dense with Western art and religious imagery, allusions, and symbolism, but the most impactful part for me happens on the last page of the last book, The Amber Spyglass:

“We have to be all those difficult things, like cheerful and curious and brave and kind and patient, and we’ve got to study and think and work hard, all of us, in our different worlds, and then we’ll build...the republic of heaven”

Lyra, the main character, is home from her adventure, having saved the multiverse. In doing so, she has preserved Dust, the physical manifestation of the intentional good things conscious beings create. Dust is not finite, it can be created, through hard work, through treating people kindly and patiently, through learning and growing. I use this as my moral (golden) compass to guide me every day. I maintain a calm, kind, public vibe, even when I'm angry or frustrated. I compliment people freely. I donate to strangers’ GoFundMes. I offer to drive for friends and coworkers. I practice active listening. I challenge people when they say fucked up things. I’ve become a Professional Mentally Ill Queer Weirdo through my podcast, The Gayly Prophet. This is hard work, especially for someone like me, with depression and anxiety, where it would be so very easy to be dismissive and apathetic and withdrawn from the world. But that’s not the kind of world I want other people to live in. I hear from listeners every day that my openness has changed their lives and their relationships with themselves — this is the kind of world I want to live in. 

I don’t do any of these things looking for some reward in a cartoon afterlife. The reason I try to live a moral and just life is that I believe the meaning of my life is to shape a better world. To build the republic of heaven.

We do not worship god.

We perceive and attend god.

With forethought and work

We shape god.

In the end, we yield to god.

We adopt and endure,

For we are Earthseed,

And god is change.