#not that I can say jack shit bc I’m. At work. but it’s almost just as funny to watch ppl flounder when you give noncommittal mmhm’s

[summer-fire]

My whole life has trained me for this

[scoobydoodean]

hot take ig but… dean wanting to contain jack was not cruel or even a bad idea…

first, it was not just dean’s idea. sam agreed, and cas had basically the same idea, just using the cage instead. but for some reason everybody ignores this!! second, containing dangerous people is what they always do. sam and cas have done so to dean. the s5 finale was all about locking up a dangerous powerful being. and there are other examples! third, jack was the most powerful being in the universe and had no soul meaning no ability to discern right from wrong. he was killing people! and they’ve always seen soulless people as dangerous. dean was willing to let sam die via the process of returning his soul bc he saw that soulless sam was not sam. and sam agreed!

like. yes dean was not handling the situation well, let alone gently, so i understand why sam and cas were frustrated. but his mother had just been killed (and ftr i do think cas was being kind of insensitive about it), and jack was still killing other people. dean’s allowed to be angry. he was being outwardly meaner, but sam was agreeing with him (he said a part of him wanted jack dead!) up until the point that dean actually agreed to kill jack for chuck.

idk i just feel like people really exaggerate dean’s actions in this situation especially in comparison to what sam and cas were saying and/or doing too. so i’m just wondering what you think of all of this? do you think dean was “right” or was he overreacting? or do you think the audience is too hard on dean (as always :/) about this? could this be another version of samdela effect? cause i feel like people misremember what the others were saying/doing in order to put more on dean…

also omg i just realized how long this became, so so sorry for the long rant!! if you can respond, thank you!

*opens my coat* would you care for some memes?

I will take your hot take and flambé it. When it comes to this subject, I don't feel inclined to be patient with fandom or carefully lay anything out piece by piece. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a betrayal it was to put Jack in the box and how mean and evil and abusive it was blah blah blah cry me a river. I was there watching when that episode aired and saw how stupid everyone was about that episode in real time and it was annoying then and it continues to be annoying that almost no one seems to bother putting a single granule of thought into this episode or what Sam and Dean were thinking or what the stakes actually were. And yeah—it was not just Dean who did that despite the samdela effect hard at work causing people to insist Dean somehow forced Sam to go along with him when that categorically did not happen.

People act like Jack was just standing there shitting rainbows and unicorns out of his ass and Dean turned around and strangled him to death for it. What happened was Soulless Jack killed Sam and Dean's mom and then went off and turned someone into a pillar of salt for being an atheist and filled someone else's body with worms to punish them for not wanting to be turned into an angel. Then he showed up at the bunker trying to make nice in the most hauntingly emotionless way possible—calling killing Mary an accident and then in his next breath saying he snapped and killed her because she threatened to reveal that the manner in which he killed Nick was scary and disturbed. In other words��he made it very clear to Mary's sons that murdering her was not actually a fucking accident at all even while he was calling it one.

Jack: I know -- I know things have been bad. A-And, if it helps, I regret it. The accident. Sam: The -- The accident? Jack: What happened to Mary. She kept talking about my soul, t-that I didn't have a soul, and she kept pushing. Dean: Oh, so she made you do it. Jack: No, it -- it was me, but I didn't want this no-soul thing to become an issue between us. I guess I snapped. Before I knew it, it was all over. Dean: "It" being the accident.

So Sam and Dean tricked him (the most powerful being in all creation) into getting in a box and he sat in there for 10 minutes. Oh no. How horrible.

A lot of the stupid fandom response to this is rooted in the babyfication of Jack that ran rampant within fandom at the time and continues in many circles. I happen to like Jack, and when I say that, I mean that I actually like him, and not the fanon adultbabydestiellovechild the fandom invented who has the emotional and mental capacity of a two year old and can't understand the difference between right and wrong. The real Jack did understand, and the real Jack would be (and was when he returned) horrified by what soulless Jack did (and for more than just how it would impact him). Jack was always an emotional person who struggled to control great power, but he had a strong moral compass and he loved people. That Jack would never have subjected someone to the twisted biblical punishments soulless Jack did for the crime of not believing in god or in him???? That Jack would have thrown Dumah into a wall in a rage for the mere suggestion he kill people over their beliefs and said, "You're hurting people". That Jack also would have wanted Sam and Dean to lock him up to protect others.

Some of the fandom problem with this also has to do the soulless lore as a whole and the constant usage of Donatello as the "soulless people can manage" poster child. Which ignores not only soulless Jack's actual behavior and how deeply dangerous his powers make him, but... pretty much every other soulless person we ever saw in the series, from soulless Sam, to numerous victims of Amara who turned into raging murderers in season 11 after she ate their souls. Hell though—the same people who insist soulless Jack was some poor little baby who just needed gentle parenting probably also think there was nothing wrong with soulless Sam despite the fact that he watched his brother be assaulted multiple times and seemed to actively enjoy it. Just normal Sam things, right? Donatello is the exceptional soulless person—not the rule—and it's because it isn't in his best interest to make trouble.

The idea that soulless Jack could be molded was suggested by Cas, but he also (as you pointed out) ended up inquiring about putting Jack in The Cage, instead of the Ma'lak box (and after the Ma'lak box was destroyed, so it wasn't an option anymore).

Lbr—the misogyny also jumped out in this string of episodes. Countless posts one after the other about how stupid Mary was and how it was all her fault and Jack did nothing wrong. How dare she make Jack angry. God forbid. What a stupid, frail, illogical woman. She deserved to die long before that anyway because she was a terrible mother, right? I mean it was obvious this sort of nonsense would come from the fandom in advance, given how many people had meltdowns over Dean shooting Jack in the back (something that didn't hurt Jack in the least) to get him to stop strangling a black store clerk to death in 13.23. As always, the imagined frail little fee fees of the white adult baby that fans invented must supersede other people's lives. Jack should be allowed to throw whatever tantrums he wants and kill anyone he wants during them and in response, Dean should shush him and start singing lullabies and carry him to a rocking chair to nurse.

[its-time-to-write]

this is 100% self indulgent. no one asked for this except me and I have zero excuse for how it turned out. i have no defense, no witty rebuttal, no nothing. i wrote this because i wanted to, and at the very least i hope this inspires someone to write their borderline-self-insert fic and post it publicly.

this fic is set after season 3. enjoy😂

(oh now might also be a good time to mention how much I love Man City. bc it’s a lot.)

can’t hear my thoughts (i cannot hear my thoughts)

Calling Lake Como beautiful is like saying space is big. It’s true for sure, but it feels like an understatement. It’s June and the weather is absolutely gorgeous, perfect for the wedding you’re attending. It’s for two good friends of yours, and it’s going to be a party full of football royalty. You’re mostly excited to see friends who are WAGs from other teams who you’ve connected with over the past year and a half.

Oh, and you suppose it will be a nice vacation with Jamie, too.

You’re staying at a beautiful hotel that’s been open since 1910, and you swear you’ll never stay somewhere as beautiful again.

“Getting ideas for the house?” Jamie teases, and it sends a thrill down your spine with the way he refers to his house as your collective home. 

You grin as he spins you around the Suite Greta. Everything is golden, from the drapes to the pillows to the sun catching on his face.

“No,” you reply, “but maybe for a vacation home?”

Jamie laughs as he catches you up in his arms. “I could see us here in the next off-season. Not sure we’d get out much,” he muses and you wrap your arms around him as tight as they can go.

You’re here for a full week but Isaac’s wedding is only one day. You and Jamie have plans to see everyone who’s in town, as well as have some time to yourself.

“Sasha wants to go out for dinner tonight,” you tell Jamie as he unpacks his suitcase.

“Girls only, or will Jack be there?”

“Let’s see,” you hum as you scan the group chat. “Isabel said she and Erling will be there, so looks like it’s a couple’s thing. That’ll be fun, right?” you ask with just a hint of anxiety. Jamie and Jack are friends, they’ve run in the same circles for years, but you’re not sure how he’s going to feel about being outnumbered two to one, City to Richmond, at dinner.

“As long as Rodri ain’t there, I’m fucking chuffed,” he says as he lays out his suit on the bed.

“Chuffed? Is that a thing you say now?” you ask, flat on your back on the bed.

“Yep,” he replies. “I’m posh now, babe. Sorry you Americans can’t do it as well as we Brits.”

“I have it on good authority that we do it very well,” you smirk. “But I don’t think that’s something you’ll get to experience tonight. I haven’t seen Sash or Isa in ages, so we’ll probably talk for a long time and then I’ll be tired when we get back to the room.”

Jamie groans. “You’re sadistic, woman. The shit you put me through.”

You smile and remind him, “You’re the one who picked me, remember?”

—

Jamie is technically the one who picked you. You had just moved from America to London, got a temp job at a Richmond FC, and the rest is history. You don’t work at Richmond anymore, haven’t for a while, as you’ve been able to start your own thing in between attending matches and events and whatever else Jamie’s invited to. Being Jamie’s girlfriend is a full-time job on its own, and he definitely spoils you beyond what you’re used to. He’s the one who bought your dress for the wedding and it freaked you out just a little bit until you called Sasha (an angel, by the way) who laughed and talked you off the ledge. 

“Comes with the territory, babe. They’re just boys with more money than they know what to do with. Jack’d buy me the moon if he could figure out how. Enjoy it. It’s been a while since anyone’s seen Tartt this happy.”

So you do. You had been living together for almost a year now so you’d think that a dress wouldn’t push you over the edge, but there you go. You’re trying to be calmer about it. It’s better ever since you met Sasha and Isabel. 

You had been stuck in a room while Jamie talked to his old manager, and they had noticed your deer-in-the-headlights expression. You’re right in the middle of the two, age-wise, and from similar enough backgrounds.

“Here’s my number. Come over to my flat tomorrow for brunch. We’ll get you settled, babes,” Sasha had said. You went and it had been amazing to finally make real friends, even if they were technically on the opposing team. 

You’re excited to see them, excited for Isaac to finally get married, and excited to spend a full seven days with Jamie by your side. It’s going to be the best.

—

You enter the venue arm-in-arm with Jamie, practically dancing across the grass. The sun’s shining and there are all sorts of people you know and love. It feels a little surreal to be here. 

Earlier, back in the room, you had slipped into your dress carefully to avoid getting makeup stains on the front. The skirt fell just at your knees and puffed out ever so slightly, with thick straps instead of regular sleeves so you could fully enjoy the warm weather. 

“Do a spin,” he had said, voice full of glee. You’d acquiesced, twirling around to let the blue tile print billow out before he caught you, kissing your shoulder so as not to ruin your makeup. 

Now, you’re holding onto him and trying not to wrinkle his linen suit when you hear someone shout your name. 

“Sasha!” you screech, running toward her as best you can with your shoes on the grass. You squeeze each other into a tight hug, uncaring about about the state of her hot pink dress. 

“Hey man,” Jack says to Jamie, who grins and shakes his hand. “You’d think they haven’t seen each other in fucking ages.”

“It’s been twelve hours,” you say. “And before that it’s been like two months. Anyway, don’t you two have some football to discuss or something? Or headbands? Or-”

“Really short socks,” Sasha helpfully supplies. 

Jamie shakes his head. “Fuck off, Attwood.”

“Fuck you, Tartt,” she replies. 

“Oi, you two wouldn’t even be friends if it weren’t for me. You could be a little nicer,” Jamie says. 

“Oh is that Hughes?” Jack asks before either Sasha or Jamie can escalate. Their entire friendship is based off sniping one another and neither you nor Jack are particularly in the mood for it today. 

Jamie turns to look. “Oh mint, looks like things are starting. You saved us seats?”

“Yeah, with Haaland and Isabel,” Sasha returns, linking her arm through yours. “C’mon, did you get yourself a parasol?”

—

It’s the most beautiful wedding you’ve ever been to. Stella looks stunning in her gown, Isaac stoically sobs his eyes out while Colin surreptitiously hands him a tissue. Even Roy seems to be having a good time, but then again Keeley once told you that he “really fucking loves weddings.” You hadn’t believed her, but his lips are in a straight line instead of a frown so maybe she was right. 

There’s a group of City and Richmond players together, and it’s a little strange to see how friendly they are off the pitch. Dani is explaining something with lots of hand gestures to Phil while the rest of the group jokes around. 

Sasha sneaked you and Isabel away to get drinks for yourselves and you were about to get away unnoticed when Erling caught Isabel’s arm and asked for a drink too, so now you’re ordering for your boyfriends as well as yourselves. 

You don’t really care, there’s a part of you that’s reveling in the sheer joy of being young and hot. Sue you. 

“Cosmo, please,” you say while the girls order drinks of their own. Sasha raises an eyebrow so you shrug and say, “Jamie likes what he likes.”

She rolls her eyes and scoffs “Tartt,” but it’s with the affection of an older sister so you elbow her and ask, “What did Jack want?”

She makes a face. “Heineken. He also likes what he fuckin’ likes.” 

You wheeze out a laugh as Isabel comes to join you. She smiles as she sips from something lavender colored in a martini glass. She cuts an elegant figure in her yellow, billowy dress. You smooth your dress and open your mouth to say something when a voice calls your name. You look to see your ex walking up, hand-in-hand with his wife. You know, the one he left you for. 

“Jake,” you say in surprise. God, you need your brain to form coherent thoughts right now. “What are you doing here?”

He grins, far too wide and goofy to be real. Not like Jamie, you think. 

“Oh, you know, Emma’s loosely related to the bride on her dad’s side. She asked for an invite, so here we are. Who are you here for? Bride or groom?”

“Both, actually,” you reply automatically. Jake’s words are grating, not so much in content as they are in tone. He always had a way of saying things condescendingly, like everyone else was a stupid little kid. 

“Oh,” he says in what you think is supposed to be surprise, “that’s funny. I didn’t know you knew anyone out here. You’ve been living in England all alone, right?”

Emma just hovers by Jake’s shoulder. She’s not contributing anything to this conversation except a snooty little smirk. 

“No,” you say. “I’m not alone. This is Isabel, by the way.” You look around for Sasha, but she’s disappeared. Smart girl. 

Isa doesn’t extend her hand. “Nice to meet you,” she says and Jake takes her at her word. He puffs up his chest a little bit as he asks, “Where are you from? You don’t sound British.”

“We’re from Norway,” a voice behind her says. “I’m Erling.”

Sasha has reappeared with Jack, Erling, and Jamie in tow. You mentally congratulate her with a well done, Sash as you feel Jamie’s arm loop around your waist. 

He feels like a solid wall against your back, a glimmer in an otherwise garbage moment. 

Jake takes stock of the three men who are looking at him with less-than friendly stares. You’re not sure what Sasha told them, but you’re absolutely positive Jamie recognizes Jake. You can practically feel the hairs on his arm bristling. 

Jake finishes his assessment and deems it appropriate to talk. “So, how do you all know each other?”

Jamie scoffs and looks away, while Jack stares at Jake like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. 

You wonder what it is with your affinity for J-names. 

“We’re footballers,” Erling says before anyone can take more offense. 

“Premier League footballers,” Jamie adds, as if it means anything to Jake. 

Jake’s American, like you, and he’s never been much for sports anyway. He wouldn’t even recognize David Beckham if the man were standing under a poster of himself. 

Jake says, “Right. Hey, weren’t you on one of those trashy dating shows?” and Jamie stiffens. 

Sasha mutters, “Fuck’s sake,” under her breath as Erling and Isabel take pointed interest in something in the distance.  

“No,” Jamie replies shortly. “The fuck were you talking to my girl?”

Jake looks to you in surprise. “Oh! You two are together? That’s… well, that’s… I guess I just didn’t expect her to be whoring around like that. But hey, move to another country and all morals go out the window, right?”

That’s the thing about Jake. He never speaks as if he’s actually trying to be offensive. He just says what’s on his mind. And you’re a little concerned that what’s on his mind is going to land Jamie (and quite possible Jack) in jail. Neither of them are especially known for backing down from a squabble. “Cut from the same cloth,” Pep was rumored to say. 

“Fuck off, mate,” Jack interjects. “Just fuck off. Everyone here loves her, and you can’t talk about her like that.”

Your ex reevaluates the situation at hand and decides the best thing to do would be to take Emma’s hand and walk away. 

“Strange that his wife does not speak,” Erling remarks. 

You grimace. “You could’ve stopped at ‘strange.’ No idea what I ever saw in him.”

Jamie has a crushing grip on your waist so you wiggle a bit to get him to loosen up. 

“Prick,” he mutters. “How the fuck did he even get here, anyway? He’s in fucking America.”

“His wife’s loosely related to Stella. They asked for an invite,” Isabel volunteers. 

Jamie rolls his eyes. “Oi, if he tries to talk to you again, I’ll grab Roy and we’ll fucking kill him.”

“Yeah, ‘cause McAdoo’s never been above a little violence at a party,” Jack grins. 

You return his smile and say, “Thanks, but I’m pretty sure his mother-in-law would kill you.”

Erling huffs out a laugh. “Never a dull moment in the Premier League, is there?”

Isabel grins and loops her arm through his. “I’m tired of all this,” she says.  “Let’s go dancing. There’s a band and we don’t have to think about anything other than celebrating, yes?”

“God yes,” says Sasha.

Jamie still looks murderous, but you squeeze his hand once and whisper, “I’m fine, babe. It’s fine.”

He looks like he wants to argue, but he lets you pull him along to the dance floor with the group.

— 

There are so many people that you don’t even catch a glimpse of Jake and Emma. You’re not sure what they’re up to, and fairly certain they don’t know anyone else here. You on the other hand, are living your best life as Jamie sings along to “Ain’t No Mountain.” He’s swinging your arms around as he sways in time to the music. You just let him lead you however he wants. The song ends and he presses his lips to your ear so you can hear him over the sheer volume of everyone talking. “D’you want a drink? I can go get you something.”

You nod and mouth my usual, please, so he salutes and begins weaving his way through the crowd. You watch him as long as you can before spinning back around with a smile.

A smile that quickly fades when you realize Emma is right in front of you.

She says, “Cute dress,” and for a moment, you believe she’s being sincere but then she follows it up with, “Did you borrow it from your grandma’s closet? I’ve seen people do that.” 

Right, because grandmas are known for wearing dresses like this. 

“What? No, Jamie got it for me,” you say. 

“Oh cute, is it from Walmart? I think I saw something like it there last week.”

Emma is trying to draw blood. You suppose she’s taking her shot now as opposed to back then because she thinks there’s no one around to call her out. No one who knows her. 

You say, “They don’t have Walmart here,” instead of “It’s Dolce & Gabbana,” because the second phrase would make you sound like a prick. There’s a part of you that wants to be a prick, though, wants to channel that part of Jamie that’s ruthless, vicious and cruel, messing with the opposition before he cuts them down. 

The first time you saw it, it was hard to believe the Jamie on the pitch was the same Jamie who played with your hair while you cooked, or put a sticky note on his fridge titled “Babe,” detailing everything you’d ever said you liked. 

Emma sees she’s not getting to you, so she changes tactics. “Must be hard being here without any friends,” she remarks. “All alone. And you’ve never been especially extraverted. Are those people the only ones here you know?”

God, Jamie, where are you?

You open your mouth to respond but are cut off by someone with a distinctly midwestern twang say, “I heard one of my favorite countrywomen was here.”

You turn to see Ted Lasso grinning at you in a black suit. It’s the same smile you remember, albeit his eyes are a little sharp. You’d bet anything he knows exactly what’s going on between you and Emma. 

“Ted!” you smile as a rush of relief floods your system. You step into his arms for a hug as he says, “Hey, sweetheart. How’ve you been?”

“Oh, you know,” you say. “Kind of great, actually. I wondered if you were going to be here! Have you seen Jamie yet?”

Ted shakes his head. “Y’know, I haven’t. Why don’t we find him together?” He offers you an arm and you take it gratefully, choosing not to spare Emma a glance.

“She seems like a real bucket of laughs,” Ted remarks.

“You have no idea. That’s my ex’s wife.”

Whatever Ted thought you were going to say, he certainly wasn’t prepared for that. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before settling on a short, “Well I’ll be danged.”

You laugh and stand on tiptoes to try to see Jamie. You don’t see him, but you catch a glimpse of an especially tall, blond head.

“This way,” you tell Ted. You brush past Phil who smiles at you, past Colin and Michael, and past someone you’re pretty sure is a Beckham.

You make your way to Erling and Isabel as they dance to the music in their own corner.

You frown. “Have you seen Jamie?” you shout. 

Isabel shakes her head. “He was looking for you,” she calls back.

“Oh,” you say, “Ted, this is Isabel and-”

“Erling Haaland,” Ted says, hand outstretched. “Pleasure to meet you, son. Big fan of the way you play the game.”

You miss Erling’s response, startled by a hand on your shoulder. You turn to see Sam standing behind you.

“Sam!” you exclaim with a grin, “You look so handsome!”

Sam returns your grin and strikes a pose. “I’ve been sent on a very important mission. I am to retrieve you and bring you to Jamie and I am under no circumstances allowed to let a small rat man named Jake speak to you.”

You raise an eyebrow. 

“Jamie’s words, not mine,” Sam clarifies. “Although I must admit, I have seen this rat man. I do not like him very much.”

“You and me both,” you agree. You wave to Isabel and pat Ted on the arm before following Sam.

He leads you away from the crowd of people to a stone path illuminated by small lights. This can’t be right, you think but Sam points down the path and says, “This is where I leave you.”

He turns to leave then changes his mind and spins back around. “It was lovely seeing you today, albeit for a short amount of time. I hope I will be seeing more of you while we are here. It is not often I meet someone who makes Jamie more tolerable.”

He speaks with a touch of humor and it’s just enough to dispel any apprehensions about what’s waiting for you in the dark. 

You say, “Thanks Sam. Love ya,” which he returns before he disappears back to the main party.

You take a breath and head down the steps.

It’s dark, the light barely shining enough for each step, but as you get farther you see a shadowy figure sitting on a bench under a tree. You smile. You can tell exactly who it is by his silhouette.

Jamie stands as you get closer and pulls you into his arms.

“Thought we’d sneak away to make out a bit,” he says. “And maybe to you wouldn’t yell at me in front of all our friends.”

You groan. “What did you do? Please tell me it has nothing to do with Roy. Or Jack. Oh my god, did you two start convincing people you were separated at birth again? Because it’s really only funny one time.”

“Well…” Jamie hedges.

You pinch his back. It’s the only part of him you can reach at the moment. “Jamie Tartt, you’d better tell me what you did right now or so help me you are going to be sleeping on the couch for the rest of our lives.”

“Oi, don’t fucking do that!”

He reaches back to grab your hands and holds them flat on his chest. “We- Roy, Grealish, and me, might have gotten your prick ex kicked out.”

“You what?” you gasp.

Jamie starts speaking in a rush before you can say anything else. “Look, y’know how protective Grealish gets, especially because Sasha fucking loves you, and then Roy heard that your prick ex was here (not the twat ex) and he said it’s easier for him to get in and out of fights on account of him being a fucking manager but then Grealish said that it’s pretty much expected that fights happen so might as well and anyway, no one’s gonna fuckin’ snitch on any of us because (hate to break it to you babe), but you’re, like, everyone’s kid sister. They’d fucking kill for you so it’s possible that we channeled that into threatening to break all of his bones if he ever ended up in the same country as you again.”

You’re processing all of the things Jamie said plus the incredible speed at which he said them, so all you can manage is a single “Okay,” before he’s talking again.

“Ehm, it’s also slightly-fucking-possible that someone did break his foot.”

“What?” you all but shout.

“Coordinated effort between Isa and Haaland,” Jamie says. “Lad’s a fucking wall, don’t know if you’ve noticed.”

“Jesus, Jamie,” you groan. “I don’t know if I should kiss you or pinch you again.”

“You can do both,” he suggests.

You sigh. “I’m going to kiss you. Like, a lot. And I’m not going to worry about getting caught and after we’ve snogged like a pair of kids in high school- sorry, secondary school, then we’re going to eat a bunch more food and dance with our friends. And if you want to get sloshed, I promise I will only take funny videos for myself, and I will not send them to your mum this time.”

Jamie says, “Liar,” as he kisses the tip of your nose.

“Fine,” you concede, “I will most definitely send them to your mum. And Simon. We’re on a group chat.”

“Not even gonna fucking ask,” Jamie says as he threads a hand through your hair so he can get at a better angle to kiss you.

—

You wake up the next morning (ahem, afternoon) to Jamie’s foot in your face.

“Excuse me, sir,” you say.

He hiccups himself awake. “Yeah?” he rumbles. “What fucking time..?”

“Late, I assume,” you say.

He groans and flips himself around so your heads are on the same side of the bed. He wastes no time in tangling your limbs together.

“Oi, koala boy. Some of us have morning breath.”

“No y’don’t babe,” he mumbles.

You scratch his head and a shudder runs through his body. “I know,” you say, “my breath is perfect. I meant you. I just didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

“Cruel woman,” he returns before lapsing into silence. The sun slips through the curtains, and you’re sure it’s going to be another gorgeous day

“Jamie,” you begin then stop.

He says, “Yeah, love?” while looking up at you with his gorgeous blue eyes and you take a moment to freeze this image in your head. 

Jamie Tartt, in bed, hair tousled from sleep. Pillowy white duvet, golden freckled skin, warm body pressed to yours.

He kisses your shoulder, rousing you from your thoughts. 

“Jamie,” you say again, “I wanted to say-”

“Don’t,” he interjects. “You’re not fucking allowed to say thank you for the bare fucking minimum.”

“But it’s not,” you reply, opting to skate over the fact that he apparently can read your mind. “Bare minimum is like, making sure I’m not alone with him, not getting your friends together to scare him off and break his foot.”

Jamie’s been kissing your skin wherever he can reach as you speak, so his words are interspersed with pecks. “Technically, the foot was an accident. Ask any one of our witnesses. And besides, they’re your friends too. You’re the one who got ‘em all to like ya despite the fact we’re mortal enemies on the pitch.”

“You’re the one who goes tanning with Jack,” you remind him.

“Lies told by the press,” Jamie grumbles. “This is my natural sexy glow.”

You say, “Okay little British boy,” as Jamie decides that his current position is not enough and he wants to lay on top of you.

He says something but his face is buried in the crook of your neck, so all you can feel is vibrations.

You ask, “Hm?” so he lifts his head.

“What if it were us next year?”

“Tanning or breaking feet?”

“Getting married.”

Jamie goes back to having his mouth on your neck as if the air weren’t just punched from your lungs.

You’re quiet long enough that he lifts his head again to ask, “Is that good quiet or bad quiet?”

“Good!” you hastily confirm. “Good, but, babe- you haven’t even asked me yet.”

He says, “I’m going to,” as if you should have known already. 

“Okay,” you breathe, “can you give me like a little heads up or something so my nails are done?”

“Uh-huh,” he says, “At the end of the week. Been planning it. Ring’s in my bag, even asked Stella if she’d be pissed that it’s the same week she took on the most un-sexy last name in history. She said she don’t give a shit as long as it’s not at her actual wedding. So.”

“I love you,” you tell him. “Not just because of yesterday or right now. I just think you’re great.”

“I am great, babe,” he says like it’s obvious. “Picked you, didn’t I?”

You crack a smile. “Alright, that’s enough out of you. Do you want to get out of bed or go back to sleep?”

“Sleep,” he replies immediately. 

“Thank God,” you groan, “I didn’t want to move. You’re like a weighted blanket.”

“It’s me sexy muscles,” Jamie says. You wiggle under him to get more comfortable.

“Uh huh,” you agree, but the words are hardly out of your mouth before you’re both back to sleep.

[angellurgy2]

lmao i’m sick of this sometimes estrogen makes your penis not work!! actually it ALMOST ALWAYS DOES that’s what estrogen does. stop making ppl feel bad because they ‘haven’t figured it out’ or are jerking off ‘wrong’ bitch PLEASE. some ppl cant cum. some ppl dont have much sensation. trans or cis whatever. but a LOT of trans fems get viagra or topical testosterone so they can orgasm and/or maintain erections. but like pls stop acting like ur penis should work while on ESTROGEN. its so fucking unhelpful. like i don’t know how to say that is literally what happens. if you took T and ended up with a beard i’d be like yep that’s what happens. i love my trans family and i love being trans but sometimes there’s these random fake ass facts that get spread around and they’re SO unhelpful. because of this shit girls who want to top/use their d/cum/etc might never ask about testosterone options and just spend an entire life thinking they are BAD at jerking off. being trans made them bad at pleasing themselves. do u even hear how nutty that sounds.

girl im literally in the tags of that post complaining about how it doesnt work on me. also that posts not even about that. its about dicks that DO work and normal jacking off not working. why r u so fucking mad 😭 im literally trying to figure out how i can get off and have it feel nice bc rn my dick works it just feels boring !! and ur in here being angry at *me* calling me a bitch bc "but tops :(" cmon lmao

[hyuneskkami]

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 ♡

~ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆

✶⋆.˚ “I believe there are far more possibilities than happily ever after or tragedy. every story has the potential for infinite endings.” ⋆˚

🤍 ༘⋆ spoilers marked !

✶⋆.˚ “i’d give you the world if I could. the moon, the stars, and all the suns in the universe. anything for you, my heart.” ⋆˚

𐙚 songs to listen to while reading this . . . ᝰ.ᐟ

↻ ◁ || ▷ ↺

⟢ the archer — taylor swift

⟢ worship — ari abdul

⟢ lunch — billie eilish

⟢ the prophecy — taylor swift

⟢ rockland — gracie abrams

✶⋆.˚ “have you forgotten the way heartbreak rips apart the soul piece by piece, how it turns you into a masochist making you long for the thing that just eviscerated you until there’s nothing left of you to be destroyed?” ⋆˚

𐙚 mini brain dump . . . ᝰ.ᐟ

♒︎ heavenly. to say I devoured this book would be an understatement.

♒︎ i’ve read a few reviews after finishing the book, and i can’t relate the complaints about the addition of vampires to the plot. they might’ve been unnecessary, but did i love it? yes. because, if there’s magical objects, potions, mysterious arches, and prophecies… why not vampires? i ate that up fr.

♒︎ also, i just like vampires 🫣

SPOILERS‼️

♒︎ apollo’s ‘death’ came as a shock, to me. I WAS LITERALLY SPEECHLESS. but that ending? i could seriously have never expected that. he’s so alive that I just know shit is going to hit the fan and if he wakes up in tbona, he’s going to be bitchy and i’m going to hate him <3

♒︎ and, oh, jacks. i so so so hope there’s much more to what eva thinks he’s done (manipulating her) bc i want him to get a good character arc.

spoilers end <3 ^

✶⋆.˚ “hurt is what made me.” ⋆˚

𐙚 characters & relationships . . . ᝰ.ᐟ

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ evangeline fox — evangeline fox might just be the most unrelatable fmc i’ve ever read, but it’s seriously okay. each novel’s mcs have their own traits and flaws, and eva’s is that she’s too optimistic and trusting. i do feel bad for her, tho.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ jacks / the prince of hearts — now look, for someone who’s reading this after reading caraval, I’M IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN. my absolute fav kind of fictional characters are the cocky and sarcastic ones with a mysterious backstory, so jacks is perfect <33 everything about him screams ‘love me’ so 😋💓

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ evajacks — SPOILERS ‼️ : evajacks’ chemistry was almost non-existent in this book (except when he tried to bite her and turn into a vampire beep boop), but i’m hoping it gets much better in the next (though, i’m finding it hard to predict how that will happen considering what eva knows about jacks what she does 💀) i’m rooting for evajacks anyway because they’re now my caravalverse otp along with scarlian <3 : spoilers end <3 <

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ marisol tourmaline — marisol is such a classic high school white girl. see, i get that her mum said all that stuff to her face (which is so not how parenting works) which might have led her to want to be loved and cared for, BUT STILL. MARISOL. COME ON. she’s literally like ‘i want only what she has, because i just do.’ which is so wrong on a lot of levels. get yourself a bf without bewitching them, and i would have had 0 problems with you, marisol.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ apollo acadian — apollo. mon dieu, this man. ik it was a curse, but oh god. my hopeless romantic heart beat for apollo’s dialogues when he was cursed in this book. he was borderline obsessed (but in a non-stalker way, guys) but STILL 😭 (can you tell I have issues? 💀) oh, to be loved like cursed apollo loved eva.

𓂃 ࣪˖ ♱ tiberius acadian — tiberius ah.. well.. bro’s just sort of.. there.

✶⋆.˚ “for anyone who has ever made a bad decision because of a broken heart.” ⋆˚

reviews m.list

kozumesphone © 2024 | don’t repost my works onto other platforms, or edit and post them even on tumblr, without asking me first • don’t steal my works, steal my heart instead • reblogs and comments are more than appreciated !

[shootingpuckgoss]

I do wonder how it’s gonna go. I don’t think she has an actual job tbh despite what others say. She has a website (I’m not gonna share it bc her # is on there) but it’s all artsy and stuff. Either she has a job that’s part time that she literally goes to bc she’s bored bc she’s a millionaire she doesn’t need to work.

Anyway I wonder what’s gonna happen bc Jack seems super happy I’m just wondering when/if it all goes to shit. Maybe this summer? I wonder if it’s gonna either go down in the summer or later.

Idk going through surgery is very hard no matter how small the surgery is (not that I’m saying his was small but let’s say compared to knee replacement) so I wonder if they’re going to make it through that or what’s gonna happen. If she’s gonna keep flying out to mich. is he gonna stay here.

Let’s say she does have a full time job like anons say. I don’t think there just gonna let her take a week or so off multiple times during the summer. Jack and sienna broke it off after 8/9 months together bc of long distance

What’s going to happen if she can’t keep going to much. Olivia is a model she can stay in Vancouver weeks/months at a time js.

Anyone have any other opinions or stuff love to hear what y’all think( omg this is so long I’m sorry)

No it’s totally fine anon! I love these long ones they give me so much info - if you’d like to share the website with me privately I’d love that

But I agree, being realistic there’s a point that it is gonna end it’s just a matter of time and how it will happen - because the man is 22 and in the nhl, realistically he still has so much more people to meet in life

Jack seems happy but he does majority of the time and has in previous relationships so I don’t see a difference there for it being something more there Jack is like that with almost any girl I’ve ever seen him with and in no way am I comparing but I’m trying to be real here.

The surgery is questionable too, now it could potentially cause trouble I’d assume with everything and what not but if it’s not this summer it goes down it makes me wonder if it’ll be before the season starts or maybe a little bit after

I feel like distance won’t be a huge problem but it definitely would be other things like the season or it just working out because I just have a feeling. Based off what everyone’s said she’s really not nice and a Zionist + they seem to be moving super fast which never seems to end well… lol

I hope you guys can send in ur opinions on this because it’s interesting

[eunchancorner]

Can you do a little fic with the officers where John is too stubborn to get rest and Jack makes him with his tricks? They're my otp and I sadly don't see much tk content with them :'p

Gettin this out of the way since this is another triple asker and bc I have a soft spot for them

Ler Jack, Lee John

Warning: cussing

Word count: 1440

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack walked into the living room, following the mumbled sounds of his partner mulling over the strange cult that seemed to be so prominent in this town. Looking outside he could see that it was far too late at night for him to be so focused on the case they’d taken up on their own, but John was stubborn. Something Jack loved about him at times, and hated at others.

Right now, he hated it.

“John…” he called softly, catching the attention of the brunette, “It’s late, we need to go to sleep.”

“I don’t have time to sleep, we need to figure out what the hell is going on with this cult,” he grumbled, taking a sip from yet another dirty mug.

“John, come on, if you don’t get enough sleep you won’t be able to think properly, and what will you do then?”

“Speak for yourself, I can go days without sleeping…”

“Can you, or is that just something you tell yourself as an excuse to stay up working? Seriously, it’s time for bed.”

“I’m not going to sleep until I’ve figured out what the hell is going on in this town.”

Jack sighed quietly. He loved John, he really did, but days like this, when he was being more stubborn than Julie to go to sleep, he was always so frustrated with him. Thankfully he was able to figure out ways to make him go to sleep, and tonight seemed like just the night for one of his favorite methods.

“Alright, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you left me no choice,” the ravenette sighed as he walked over to his partner.

“Didn’t want to have to- JACK!!” the brunette yelped as he was suddenly scooped up under the arms and held off the ground against the taller’s chest.

“I’m taking you to bed whether you like it or not!” Jack announced, dragging his brunette co-worker away from the office and towards the shared bedroom.

“What the hell?! Jack, put me down! I NEED TO WORK ON THIS-”

“SHH! Julie’s asleep, what the hell are you thinking?!” Jack hissed at his partner as they passed the sleeping girl’s room.

“Oh, shit, right. But you can’t just make me go to bed! I am a grown man and I can make my own decisions!”

“He says, refusing to sleep…” the ravenette mumbled mockingly, earning a painful elbow in the ribs that almost made him drop the smaller.

Finally they reached the bedroom (with a lot of resistance from the older) and Jack dragged John onto the bed, holding him in his arms. The brunette grumbled and squirmed and pushed at Jack’s hands, trying to get away and go back to work, but at the same time, the warmth of him was just so… nice. So comforting and inviting. As much as he wanted to work, the thought of cuddles seemed to weaken his actions. Usually he’d be able to pull Jack off no problem but he found himself struggling to budge the taller’s hands.

“Wow, you’re still gonna try to be stubborn. C’mon, John, you really need to sleep. After all, you can’t think properly without a good night’s rest. And if that happens, you could make a mistake. It could set you pretty far back, you might even get stuck on square one again…”

That made John stop, even if only to think for a moment. He wanted to work on this case, he really did, but at the same time, he wanted to do so while he was at 100%, just to make sure he didn’t miss anything or get something wrong. And he knew Jack was right. He could end up messing up this case, or possibly something else, if he was too tired. But at the same time, he felt that sense of urgency trying to drag him back to the office.

“You already know that I can’t just leave this for tomorrow when I know I could do it today,” he finally argued. “Even if it takes me all night, I have to get this done.”

“I was afraid you’d say that… Please, John? I’m starting to worry about you. Is there another reason you’re not sleeping or something…?”

“No, I’m just working, I promise. You know I’d tell you if it was something else, don’t worry.”

“Good, good… but then, in that case, you really need to sleep. You know that…”

“And you know I won’t sleep until I’m done.”

“I thought you’d say that… but, thankfully, I know how to get you to sleep. The same way I get Julie to sleep!”

That confused John for a second, his mind flicking to how he gets her to sleep, with a story, a hug, and a nice warm drink. Until the brunette realized that Jack had a bit of a different method of getting her to sleep. One that was far more playful and better for tiring out the hyper child. And one that was far more embarrassing for the shorter.

“W-wait… you’re not thinking…?”

“Maybe I am thinking~”

“I-I- that’s childish, Jack!”

“Oh yeah? What happened to ‘childish’ when you tickled me in front of Patty?”

“That was different! You deserved it for scaring me like that!”

“Oh, I deserved it? Well, then maybe you deserve this for being a little brat and not going to bed!” He punctuated the last few words with pokes to John’s side, making the smaller flinch and curl up, covering the wobbly smile on his face.

“Y-you better quit that!”

“Quit what? This?~” the ravenette asked innocently as he continued to poke up and down his partner’s side, forcing the brunette to choke down embarrassing giggles.

“H-Hehey! Yes, thahat!”

“Why? After all, I’m barely doing anything to you, do why is it affecting you that much?~”

“Jahack!”

“It is because it leads to this?~” he squeezed at the older sides, earning a quiet snort before he heard some small, muffled giggles trying to break out.

“Or, is it because this leads to this?~” he clawed at John’s belly, making him let out a stifled squeak.

“PFF- mmmhmhmhm! Noho!”

“No? Then maybe it’s because this leads to thisss?~” his hands started climbing towards John’s ribs.

“Jahack I swehehear!” the small sheriff warned, grabbing at his deputy’s hands, only succeeding in uncovering his wobbly, blushy smile.

“What do you swear, John? Huh? What are you gonna do, with your handsome little smile?~” he cooed, admiring his partner’s growing blush, even if he proceeded to cover it up once more.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought~”

A squeal pierced the air as Jack finally pinched at his partner’s ribs, moving slowly from one to the other, up two and down one, occasionally darting to a random rib, all keeping John, who was finally letting himself laugh (not that he had much of a choice), guessing on where he might go next.

“Jahahack! Ahaha hey nohoho!” the brunette squawked out, attempting to curl in on himself and hide from the tickles.

“No what, John? No what?” the ravenette cooed.

“Tihihihickles!”

“Aww, ok, if you say so!”

“Wahait, that’s not what I- AAHAHAHA!!” the smaller broke off with a squeal as Jack finally reached his uppermost ribs, occasionally poking at his underarms, bringing his laugh to a near cackle. A squeak managed to escape him when Jack found a particularly sensitive spot on his upper ribs.

“Aww, was that a squeak? That’s adorable! Who knew a grumpy little fluff ball like you could squeak?”

“SHUHUT! IHIT WAHAS NAHAHAT!”

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed! Is the big man embarrassed because he’s a little ticklish?~” Jack cooed at his partner, who attempted to cover his face before yet another poke in his underarms forced his arms back down.

“JAHACK PLEHEHEHEASE!”

“Oh, begging? You must be getting tired now. But I still haven’t heard a single stop!~”

“JUHUST TOHOHONE IHIT DOHOHOWN!”

“No problem..” As per his request, Jack’s hands lowered down to the fluff ball’s belly, gently scratching at the soft skin as John’s laugh calmed down into soft giggles. When a yawn managed to break through, the ravenette changed it to soft traces that had the brunette just barely giggling and utterly melting in his arms.

“Getting tired yet?” he asked, as though he didn’t already know the answer. Slowly his traces came to a stop, and just as they did, he heard John’s breathing even out as the brunette fell asleep.

He chuckled quietly and gently laid down, pulling a blanket over them both and letting himself drift off as well.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I turned it really soft at the end lol. Smokydonuts ftw

[strawbrygashez]

ur rb from an hr ago… im late oops

👄 for p2 and narrator

🌑 for tyler

🍺 anyone of ur choice :з

ITS FINE! NO ONE HAS SENT ASKS ABOUT IT ANYWAYS :,D

👄 (Kiss hc)

Tyler- He’s really good at kissing since I think he’s uh.. had a lot of practice 💀 he’s probably had hook ups upon hook ups.. so he knows what he’s doing and is pretty good at it. It’s enough to make Narrators head spin at least 💀 but I guess even if Tyler was shit at kissing Narrator would still feel like he’s in heaven.

Narrator- Kinda awkward about it, hasnt had a lot of practice, and is that type of guy to give dry little pecks. It’s almost makes me think of some like.. Christian guy who doesn’t wanna do anything too hot n heavy until after marriage 😭 but of course if we are talking about if he’s with Tyler, he tries his best to keep up with him during make out sessions 🤭 probably even slips into being really desperate with his kisses if Tyler isn’t basically eating his face like he wants him too. Smh.

🌑 (A dark HC)

Tyler- hmmm. I’m not sure how to answer this one without just making it basically the sad hc question but I’ll answer with two things. One, the one that’s taking this as more of a sad thing, is that I think he struggles really bad about how he acts. Like he doesn’t wanna act the way he does sometimes but he just can’t stop :0 like having manic episodes, being impulsive & expecting the Narrator to read his mind. Like if he actually sits there he can acknowledge he has things he needs to work on (well. The manic episodes thing can only slightly be helped) but he just kinda pushes those thoughts away when something else catches his attention. Like he will be zoning out sometimes, almost dissociating but then he’ll hear Narrator coming in after work and he’s back to being himself & be like “:D JACK?!?!” and puts on his cool guy persona to meet him downstairs lol.

The other thing is that I think he used to be a little bit of a bully growing up :/ he wasn’t really absolutely terrible I think but I’m sure there were a good amount of moments where he’s said some random shitty things to people who weren’t even really bothering him. I think this bc of the scene where Tyler meets Bob. Also he just is kinda canonically the type of guy to shit talk everyone he thinks he’s better than lol.

🍺(Drunk HC)

Tyler- I feel like it takes a him a lot of drinks to start feeling anything but when he does start feeling it, he’s starts clinging onto narrator and gets all whiny when the narrator tries to leave or just get up momentarily (which has narrator sitting back down at the speed of light 💀).

If it’s in a party setting, I can see him trying to dance but he’s stumbling around a lot & probably spills his drink onto some people lol. I think drinking for him mostly just helps him feel more relaxed and lets him feel like he can put his guard down a little because he can just excuse any ‘soft’ or ‘lame’ moments he has on the drinking.

Narrator- drinking usually helps him get a confidence boost & leads him to being more wild. He’s so much more likely to say all kinds of nasty, loving, sweet things right to Tyler’s face when he’s drank so much. He pulls the first moves on him alllll night :3

He gets really embarrassed the next morning though when Tyler reminds him of the things he said and did.

[ssaalexblake]

i almost never wish i could write (it’s just not my talent. I also don’t enjoy it enough to develop it. It’s fine) but stp s3 is the type of thing that has Just enough legs to it conceptually that i want to gut it, take what i like, take some of what i didn’t and do it better so it’s good, and outright change some more to write my own, better, version. I want to write foe fiction. 

bc okay, on the face of it there are some interesting concepts! the borg high jacking federation transporter tech to assimilate people because they adapt and realise that invasions aren’t working, just ditch the Entire plot around Jack and think of some other way to make it spread/activate and it’s actually a plot within the realms of possibility to work with. 

The idea of Picard loving somebody enough that he’d Willingly go and be assimilated is FASCINATING. I am so enthralled by this concept on so many levels. But like, in the kind of way where it didn’t happen like it did in the show. Ideally Jack is not involved at all tbh. Mostly because i’m sick and annoyed of the blood family over all notions in this season. But we could easily develop Picard’s relationship with somebody else to achieve this. Since Soji is not assimilate-able it’d end up Elnor really. 

The idea of a secret baby can stay if it Has to but in the kind of way where their mother who may or may not be beverly gets to actually be a character with an outside life for more than one episode. Also, the reasons for keeping this a secret will be grounded in material that the audience actually Knows about and not something made up that happened off screen as a weak justification. One of the reasons for it will also be that Picard has an issue with treating kids like people and no kid deserves that. 

If this happens then Worf and Picard Will be discussing not being filled in about the existence of their first borns. 

Will and Deanna will be petrified for Kestra. Geordi will be allowed to be terrified for his daughters for more than 60 seconds before he forgets them. Raffi is also freaking out about Elnor. 

Raffi and Seven do not break up. There was literally zero reason for this at all tbh? ofc they’d not be able to interact once Raff went undercover, it wouldn’t change anything if they were together even IN the show, but in my version, for the record, their relationship is a plot point that gets screen time. 

Borgati would be called in as reinforcements. The question is really who would call her. Would it be Seven? Picard? Raffi, even? Queen vs Queen stand off. 

The reaction to finding out what happened with the changelings will Not be having zero introspection and then going on to commit more violations of the space geneva convention with no critical thought on the matter. I feel like the moment when Vadic tells her story about being the victim of such horrifying things at the hands of the federation was a Bad moment to show that picard and beverly are Serious parents who will do anything for their son. We can still have them have their amoral hour, just not Here jeez. Read the room guys. 

Data is dead. It was what he wanted. Leave him be. 

And look okay for all I was mad at them going through background characters to kill like a lottery, ‘we found almost everybody alive in a basement’ was an absolute travesty, like, really? At least say they were kept alive in case they needed to be interrogated for personal information to assist with the changeling’s cover stories. 

Just have Laris be in the damn season. My whole ‘so they’re side lining her for the Other ship, huh?’ thing turned out to be incorrect which, somehow??? makes ditching her even more absurd. For however crap that reason would have been, there being No reason apparent in the show is somehow more infuriating. 

Elnor is assigned to the titan. It was not Seven who did this. It was Raffi being overprotective after the scare in S2. She wants him with somebody she trusts. 

If Shaw dies then it Has to be AFTER he owns up to his own shit and apologises genuinely to Seven. And maybe Picard but i feel like he’d need more therapy for that one than the Seven one. He doesn’t have to die though, bc if Seven ends up captain at the end of this all it will not be the titan in a different dress. 

Seven’s actions involved in saving Picard’s spawn are canonically informed by losing Icheb the way she did. 

no borg sperm like i kind of said that already but Please no borg sperm 

I would do something more interesting with Raffi’s family. Like, okay sure she got a happy ending there but meeting her ex gave me food for thought that the only time we’ve seen them they’ve been on scummy capitalist hellhole planets or areas, with her ex having associations with some really bad people. I think it’d be an interesting angle to play where Raffi trying to help people and do good even when it’s unpopular is something that alienates her from her family bc they kind of actually suck and her trying to do the right thing is uh, inconvenient. 

Would love to know her daughter in law’s opinion of her though. Raffi fought tooth and nail for romulan refugees. But the people she knows don’t trust Raffi and just think she’s a mess. Could be fascinating. 

ok gonna cut myself off and some of these things are contradictory but it was more a loose idea thing than an actual list. Some of the nostalgic quips can stay. Spot can show up bc Elnor gets a cat and names it Spot to honour Data. But yeah. Stopping. 

[brokenchairwrites]

Lol you and your friends are silly. Noah didn’t voluntarily stop working for a whole year. He got fired from OR and now nobody will hire him for anything. He last booked a role almost 18 months ago and it’s probably his last one. Got dumped by Baseline too. But keep kidding yourselves that he took off time to be a dad. Give me a break. You look like fools. His career is dead no matter how many excuses you make for him. Gold digger Clare is gong to dump his ass when she realizes he’s not on the road to stardom like she thought. She didn’t expect him to be trying to scrape together a living working for his friend and his lil speaking school. You’ll see. Next time stan someone who actually has a successful career.

I’m LITERALLY laughing.

Why do you care that people like him? Like what? I don’t understand, please enlighten us all to why you give so many fucks.

Or better yet, don’t? I’m going to continue to stan Noah until I’m blue in the face bc I can.

He’s just a guy, who cares what some internet anon who knows jack shit about me and my friends say.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Have a nice life!

[vagueposting-femnb]

I fight every damn day to keep my fuckin chill.

If it ain’t one thing, it’s another. Basically every single machine at my main job that my team needs to complete our tasks is fuckin busted. We’re still expected to do part of the stocker’s job. Stockers aren’t expected to do Jack shit, despite the fact that EVERYONE is supposed to be capable of cleaning spills, and is supposed to DO SO when there is one, wet or dry, provided it’s not hazardous. They will spill shit FEET!!! Measly 1-5 fucking FEET from a FULLY STOCKED spill station. Do they do anything? NO! Or WORSE they put CARDBOARD OVER THE SPILL!!! Fun fact! Cardboard does not TRAP liquids!!! If I tilt that shit, it all just POURS OUT!!!

And THEN!!! I ask my spouse, repeatedly, the past 3 days, to please pick up milk. And then to please grab the cheese sauce I asked for when he WAS ACTIVELY PICKING THINGS TO BUY TWO DAYS AGO!!!

Only after coming home from mopping HALF A FUCKIN SUPERSTORE!!! Showering, getting into pjs, do I check to see if there’s milk. I was even late bc I had to take a fuckin coworker home. It was about 3hr later than usual for me to be lookin for food, and I had a bad feeling which is why I waited until my spouse was awake, bc I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from asking “why” if I saw there was still no milk, and at the very least I can avoid waking him up, and sure enough!!! NADA!!!!

Then he has the fuckin audacity to be all fuckin huffy and speedy when he left despite the fact that I asked in a VERY nice tone, despite the fact that he had been saying and PROMISING for DAYS!!! That he would get the stuff!!!

And despite all that!!! Despite EVERYTHING!!!! I come home (bc I had a headache and needed food asap so I just went to get fast food, bc I suck at cooking & anything w protein or some sort of substance, or even just FILLING and vaguely healthy, requires MILK!!! Or it’s WRONG!!!) and the bedroom door was locked!!!

Did I say anything? NO. I bit my tongue, put the milkshake I was gonna offer him in the fridge, and I’m gonna sleep on the couch so he can play on his computer to his hearts content bc that heats up the itty bitty bedroom to at least 75, up to fucking 80f!!! and I can’t sleep in a room over 72 degrees but it’s also FUCKING RAINING!!! So I can’t open the god damn window for cold air!!!

The worst I do is forget to fold the laundry, but at least I do it and don’t forget shit in the washer for DAYS. Maybe the dryer but that’s even GOOD bc you can just turn it back on for like 5-10min and get the wrinkles out!

The worst fucking part is- if I fuss, I would be a hypocrite bc I do forget the laundry. He forgets to buy shit, I forget to fold the laundry. He forgets to wash dishes, I forget to put them up. He doesn’t clean up after cooking, I can’t cook so half the time he’s cooking for both of us, but since I didn’t make the mess my brain doesn’t even register it as a problem in the moment!

I can’t even work fulltime bc of my issues, but I also probably would make a subpar housespouse even if I didn’t have to work.

And it ain’t like I can afford shit on my own, can’t get a better payin job bc I make almost $20 at my current one & I don’t have a degree, let alone one in anything useful, which all $20+ jobs require at this point, OR they have freaky rotating schedules & require infinitely more skill, composure, and flexibility than I can offer (such as becoming an EMT or w/e) so! I’m stuck at this shit job, and I love this fuckin idiot, and he loves my stupid ass, so we’re stuck with each other, and it’s just!!! So fucking frustrating. Everything.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

oooohboyohboyohboy. okay. I’m gonna try to explain the plot of spn & the latest canon/fanon updates as clearly as I can (given that the show’s canon is already basically nonsense), using ONLY mythology terms. hang onto your era-appropriate mug of mead bc this is gonna get WILD.

So.

The plot of spn is that Grendel (”Sam” in the modern day, apparently. he’s still a giant if you’re wondering) and Grendel’s Brother (instead of Grendel’s Mother. whoo. puns.) are wandering around the USA with their adoptive mom, a pooka in the form of a car that nobody EVER canonically acknowledges as a pooka, despite her being clearly sentient and able to get from Kansas to LA in a half hour. one time she got to alaska in a week, WHILE she was LITERALLY CURSED BY GOD. 

anyway yeah they just kinda roam around fighting any other monsters/humans/whatever they see, trying to find the demon that killed both the grendels’ birth mom (human? half-elf? hard to tell). then they start getting involved with Christian Shit which goes about as well as it ever does for Grendels, and the ANGEL OF TIME (His name is Cassiel in most lore, Castiel in spn canon, but everyone calls him Cas) shows up, falls in love with Grendel’s Brother and basically becomes an honorary member of the Unseelie Fae. 

a LOT of crazy shit happens, Crowley From Good Omens’ daughter (yeah. he had a kid with some human. the daughter is clearly thracian so it was a while ago. shes scary) and grandson are there, and at some point the newest Jack (from Jack Stories) shows up and crashes with them for a while, does the whole usual take Death as a mentor/betray death/kill some scary mythic shit/piss of the devil/piss off God/trick his way into heaven thing before (we all assume) getting promptly yeeted tf out and (I assume) going off to do the whole “Ruling Halloween” thing. Sam fucks an Empousa who promptly fakes her death, burns his college dorm down, and then un-fakes her death to come bug him (she was allied w the demon that killed his mom. it was a shitshow), then after more flings with more demons (and humans) than you can count, Sam couples up probably-permanently with AíLIN, THE BURNER OF TARA, an UNSEELIE PRINCESS who ALSO THINKS SHES HUMAN. there’s a Tanuki who wears a trucker hat and drinks beer instead of the usual straw hat and sake, he hangs around now and then, makes rooms spontaneously appear, fakes his death a couple times to go do whatever it is yokai do, and mostly just sits on the porch and says “BALLS” a lot because Subtlety Is Dead I guess

The show ends with Cas confessing his love to Dean with his dying breath, while directly behind the door the REST of his true angelic form is (purposefully) recreating Chronos’ fall into tartarus by fighting the horseman of death one-on-one and letting the resulting cut-to-pieces-with-a-scythe-ness of it all drag them both into Tartarus, which, weirdly, was the defeat that loosened the forces of the apocalypse’ hold enough that Trump lost the 2020 election. 

and then like two weeks later Dean gets a cold iron stake through the back and, since HE DOES NOT KNOW HE’S NOT HUMAN and therefore doesn’t know how to do the whole Grendel Invulnerability Thing, he reacts like most demon-fae-whatever creatures would to cold iron and dies in agony burning from the inside out (he lasts almost 10 minutes though- thats pretty impressive), aaaaaaand then Sam gets grabbed by the local fae (working for the horseman of Famine, long story as to why) before he even leaves the scene, and blah blah the usual malevloent fae stuff, weird illusory fake life where nobody’s face is clear, 50 years sped up over 5 hours, etc etc, eventually Famine himself shows up full of fresh Grendel Boy Life Force, taunts him and leaves his white-haired husk in in a field to rot. 

and then some absolute FUCKS (cough. horsemen again) decided to do the whole “devil and the iron nails” folktale and stab shit into Dean tiil he was forced to serve them, so he’s doing that sometimes, and they’re making him do Real Evil Shit... but like at least he’s figured out what he is. furry, even bigger, fangs, breathing fire and all that. when they’re NOT using him, they’ve got him, Sam, AND the Pooka (when they’re not using HER as a soldier too- horsemen. pooka. black horse. I just feel rly bad for her, she lost an eye...) chained to a bridge in north cali (trolls on a bridge. ha ha ha) 

while I THOUGHT Dean was just using the whole Grendel thing to access his predecessors’ memories to do (spoilers), it looks like he might actually have taken some of his angel boyfriend’s magic and is using it to yeet around time. unfortunately the horsemen know this as well so he also yeets around time on their commands and does Bad Guy Things, ripping Osiris’ eye (the magic one) out, eating heroes, pissing off a Son of Mars by eating his grandpa and cursing his dad, teaming up with random fae, fistfighting the devil for really no reason, etc etc etc. 

Cas is either still in tartarus, or in London (tldr Cassiel rules the Deaths Of Kings in the lore so he was DEFINITELY summoned by the queen kicking it last yr)

and as for Sam, well. uh. yeah just try to picture “Grendel Draugr” as a concept and then be VERY happy that he’s stuck on that bridge, even if his magic isn’t. yeeeeeeesh. 

and the tanuki has decided to run for president. 

....oh also, absolutely nobody except me sees spn canon this way. I am the ONLY one. that being said I really enjoyed explaining this to someone who knows a lot about grendel and nothing about spn- its honestly a lot easier than trying to explain this to the actual spn fandom. fandom about myths full of ppl who do not know the relevant myths. 

What do you think of my new Grendel's Mother costume concepts

[kilbygrl]

can u do one were jack is dating a 20 year old? bcs that’s how old i am. idrc what happens in it as long as there’s. a little fluff

Your age was never actually concerning for you, not even when you first met Jack and started going on dates together, wasn’t a big thing for you, really, he’s twenty-four and you’re twenty, not really a big age gap. But everything changed when you saw people saying how he used to like older women, even him said it before, but people were treating your relationship like you were ten years younger than him and it was bothering you a lot.  

But you didn't talk to Jack about it. You didn't know if he thought much about it or even if he saw people talking about it, as he never brought it up. Your age gap wasn’t really important for him, you were almost his age, so since he first heard you were twenty, he didn’t care about it, you weren’t a minor and surely old enough for him, so no worries. Not for him, at least.  

And you were so overwhelmed about so many people talking about your relationship, that you just couldn’t handle it anymore, so you deactivated your Instagram and twitter, and keep it to yourself, trying to act as chill as possible around Jack. But even not seeing it, you just couldn’t handle it anymore. Was a Sunday morning and Jack was on a break from work, so you spent the whole weekend home. He was laying under you, holding your body closer to his.  

“It never bothers you that I’m younger than you?” you ask him, looking up to meet his blue eyes. 

“You’re just four years young, why would it?” he brings his hand to your face, taking of the piece of hair falling into your eyes.  

“Uh, I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, since I saw a bunch of people talking about it and an old interview of you saying how you liked girls born in the 70’s or some shit. People always bring this up” 

“Oh, baby” he laughs a little, making you bury your face on his naked chest “It was a joke. I hooked up with some older women, you knew that already” 

“Yeah, but still makes me wonder. And having so much people talking shit about our relationship on the internet isn’t making me feel any better” your face was already red, mostly because you’re angry, but a little bit of you is shy to talk about it with him. 

He shakes his head, putting his hands on your face and making you look at him again. He brings his face close to yours, connecting your lips and giving you a sweet kiss, with a bunch of pecks. As he suspected, it calms you down.  

“You shouldn’t worry about shit they talk about us, ma. We are happy together and it isn't a problem on your relationship. I wouldn’t change you for any older girl” he gives you a peck again, caressing your face with his thumb. 

You smile at him, truly happy. Then, you put the subject to rest. But a few weeks later he was asked about that in an interview. Besides your relationship being as private as could be, there was still somethings about you two on the internet. It didn’t make you happy, but it comes with dating someone famous. 

“So, Jack, we saw some pics of you and your girlfriend last week, you two looked so happy, you guys were celebrating anything?” the interviewer asks him, showing on the screen some paparazzi pics of you two having lunch together on some random bench in the street. Weirdly enough, you were both laughing and smiling at each other in every single pic. Jack couldn’t help the smile when he saw the pics. 

“Nah, she just makes me happy as fuck. Can’t stop smiling when I’m with her” he answers and his face starts turning a little bit red “Y/N isn’t really a public person, so I don’t talk about her that much publicly, but I love that girl so much, could talk about her all day”  

“I would've never pegged you as a romantic type” the woman says, making him laugh a bit. 

“Just with her” now he makes her laugh. 

“And there’s a lot of people saying she’s so younger than you, how you deal with that?” she changes the subject, now making the atmosphere a little tense. 

“Yeah, yeah. Saw some of this shit online, but she’s not really that young and she’s a complying adult, she chose to date me. It isn’t a big deal for us” he picks on the microphone knowing that you would be seeing this “The only thing that people should care about is that she makes me happy, isn’t it enough?” 

And then, they change subjects again. Seeing it from home truly make you even more chill about it than you were before. You loved Jack so much that you wouldn’t let anyone ruin your relationship. 

[padfootastic]

The only way I can even accept the betrayal of the Potters being universally regarded as so horrible in the Wizarding World is because it almost let Voldemort win. I’m guessing that somehow people knew the attack on the Potters was instrumental in the war, in terms of Voldemort’s plans, because otherwise it makes no real sense about why this particular attack is seen as so awful (everyone knows the story and regards it as one of the worst events of the First War, but like, entire families got wiped out in the war but we only really hear of it by Moody showing Harry the Order photo and telling him their tragic fates and possibly Molly talking about her brothers. Neville’s parents were tortured to death, we’re told this caused an uproar, yet we hear jack about it for years?). I can buy the public thinking Sirius was a spy after the Potters attack (people who knew Sirius should have asked questions though, since they knew how much Sirius loved James and guess what else? There’s nobody who could 100% say Sirius was the Secret Keeper; while everyone believed he was, there was no actual confirmation anyone could provide since he very much was not the SK), but the whole “right hand” thing makes no sense. Where’d they get “he was second in command” from “he betrayed two people and worked for Voldemort, killing 12 muggles and an old friend with one spell”? Who even makes a spy second in command? Why did nobody interrogate Voldemort’s supposed right hand for information on the Death Eaters, since it took a while to find the remaining members and they still missed some, and Voldemort’s alleged second would surely have that information?

tbh even that assumption is just—so far fetched? because i’m sure secrecy was at an all time high, everyone was paranoid and afraid, i’m sure no one knew anything. like, i feel like the potter’s attack was given the significance that it was purely because of its ultimate consequences ykno? like if harry wasn’t the boy who lived, no one would care so much. there’s also this element of extremely poor plot planning too imo, similar to the whole mother’s love protection thing because,,,there must’ve been countless mothers/parents who sacrificed themselves and yet it was just the potters that reaped some mystical benefits of it? bull. same with the betrayal of the potters being considered as terrible as it was in the middle of war. jkr just,,,wanted some shit done and didn’t care how much she had to manoeuver other things around to shove it in and so u have stuff like this.

and god, it’s just a constant problem for me that sirius was never interrogated? honestly, i know it was needed for plot purposes, but sirius is really one of the biggest reasons why i think dumbledore is much darker/manipulative than most people think of him. while i wouldn’t say he got sirius thrown in azkaban, i will say he probably turned a blind eye on purpose bc it just served his needs so well. otherwise, if that’s not the case and he really just neglected to perform his duties as a war leader by not interrogating a suspected spy—then he just comes off even worse ykno?

[seasonofthewicth]

Rowaelin Month - Day 3

prompt: a secret relationship

extras: multiple povs

cw: one very brief mention of nsfw topics

word count: 3k

--

Fenrys knows his friends think of him as the joker of the group, and yeah he is hilarious, but there’s more to him than that. He can read the room, can pick up on the subtleties of whichever of his friends might need one of his jokes more than others on any given day. It’s a skill that makes him observant, watchful of people, and he notices things.

He’s not sure if Rowan and Aelin think they’re being subtle, and he’s not sure which of his other friends have picked up on the same things he has, but he’s pretty sure Aelin and Rowan are sleeping together.

He’s not completely sure, he doesn’t have any concrete evidence and they still act normally in the group, but he knows what he saw on the night of Elide’s birthday. He and Rowan have lived together for years and Aelin has crashed at theirs any number of times before but, until that night, she’d never emerged from Rowan’s bedroom the morning after wearing one of his t-shirts.

The material had completely drowned her. The short sleeves had hung to her elbows and the hem had been well down her thighs. She’d seemed somewhat… sneaky as she’d crept into their kitchen in search of coffee.

He knows not to read too much into things, friends share clothes all the time. He’s lost many hoodies to the collective wardrobe owned by their group of friends and he’s still pissed at Lorcan who he knows still has his The Cadre t-shirt from the gig they had attended a few years ago.

What Fenrys also knows is that friends don’t stand at the kitchen counter, holding the neckline of their friend’s shirt to their nose and grinning like an idiot.

He needs to speak to Aedion.

Elide has been friends with Aelin for years and that is more than long enough to know she’s almost always guaranteed to be late to their coffee dates. She’s not bothered, it gives her a few extra minutes to sip away at her own coffee reading her book with the general hum of the coffee shop lulling her into a comfortable rest.

It’s not long before her friend breezes into the coffee shop, the bell above the door ringing and signalling her entrance. It’s very Aelin, her entrance. The wind sweeps in fluffing her golden waves and her steps are full of purpose as she strides towards Elide.

“Sorry I’m late.” Aelin all but throws herself into the seat opposite Elide, smiling a bright smile for the relatively early morning they’re sharing.

“Don’t worry about it,” Elide says, finishing off her final swig of her first coffee. “Want me to go and get our drinks?”

“No, Ellie,” Aelin says, waving her hand. “First one’s on me. I was late, I’ll make it up to you.”

Aelin squeezes her hand before breezing back out of her seat.

She’s back only a couple of minutes later, finally relaxing into the large armchair she occupies. “So, what’s new with you?”

“Nothing much,” Elide shrugs. “Work is tough but nothing I didn’t expect.”

“I’m sure you’re smashing it,” Aelin says with a grin, then places her hand against her chest. “My little Elide, registered nurse taking the world by storm.”

Elide smiles, it feels good to hear those words, after all the sleepless nights and sweat and tears she’s finally where she wants to be.

Aelin continues, “You’re not pushing yourself too hard are you?”

“No,” she says and it’s the truth. “And even if I was, Lorcan is being wonderful.”

Aelin fake gags and Elide shoots her a mostly joking glare. “I find that hard to believe.”

“He is,” she says, thinking of the bath he had drawn her the night before and the massage he’d given her when she complained of her feet aching.

Aelin shifts in her seat as she nods along and the neck of her t-shirt slips down to reveal the ghost of a hickey on her friend’s collarbone. Elide raises an eyebrow.

Aelin looks down before grinning wickedly.

“Anything new with you?”

Aelin’s answer is interrupted by the arrival of their coffees in the hands of a handsome waiter.

“A large mocha,” he says and Elide raises a hand, “and a large cappuccino with cinnamon.”

Aelin raises her own hand. The waiter sets their drinks down, his eyes lingering on Aelin for a minute before he slowly backs away.

“Enjoy,” he says, his eyes still locked on Aelin. “Let me know if you need anything.”

He turns with a wink and Elide raises her other brow at her friend.

“Are you going to get his number?”

Aelin shakes her head. “Not today.”

Elide hums a response before leaning forward in her seat. “Why? You’d usually be all over someone like him, he’s exactly your type. Tall, muscular without being jacked, his curly brown hair, cheeky smile…”

She trails off when Aelin cracks a smile. “I guess I’m just not feeling it today.”

Elide wants to ask why again, she honestly might go over and get the guy’s number for her friend, when Aelin changes the subject rapidly.

“Are you going to Rowan and Fenrys’ later?”

Elide doesn’t process the change of topic until a little later on, once a couple more pieces have slotted into place. Eventually she’s pretty sure she’s worked out why Aelin didn’t want the cute coffee guy’s number.

She needs to speak to Lorcan.

Lorcan Salvaterre doesn’t like Aelin Galathynius.

He tolerates her at best for the sake of the rest of their friends but that said, he still probably wouldn’t want to see her hurt.

When Lysandra puts the message in the group chat-At the hospital with Aelin, dw they think it’s just a sprain-he reads it, absently thinks how he probably hopes she’s okay, and moves on with his day. He’s on his way to meet Rowan at the bar and if anything, Galathynius would want them to raise a toast in her honour.

What Lorcan doesn’t expect is the restless jittering of his best friend’s leg beneath the table, sloshing precious droplets of beer onto the table that his friend doesn’t even seem to notice.

“What’s the matter with you?” he asks as he slides onto his seat opposite the silver haired man.

“Nothing,” Rowan says quickly but his leg keeps up the restless pace.

Lorcan signals to the bartender for his own beer and turns back to Rowan. “Dude, chill out. There’s clearly something up with you and I’m not having you spill my pint.”

Rowan finally notices the state of their table and stills his leg. “Sorry,” Rowan says, using some of the beer mats scattered across their table to mop up the spill.

Now Lorcan really is confused. Usually Whitethorn would cuss him out over apologising. He doesn’t really know what to say.

His phone buzzes in his pocket and he ignores it as Rowan lurches for his own phone. He reads whatever’s on the screen then scowls and locks it again, placing it face up on the table. His knee begins bouncing again.

“You’re being weird,” Lorcan announces.

“Fuck off,” Rowan says and there’s the Whitethorn he knows and loves.

Lorcan opens his mouth to speak again but his phone buzzes and Rowan again lurches for his own. He chews at his lip as he reads whatever’s on the screen and so Lorcan bothers to dig his own phone out of his pocket.

It’s the group chat. He has a couple of unread messages, just Aedion and Elide expressing their concern for Galathynius as expected, nothing exciting. He locks his phone and places it on the table in front of him, watching Rowan for his next move. He’s definitely being weird and Lorcan has no fucking clue why.

His phone buzzes again and the screen lights up with the latest message. It’s Galathynius, he can tell from the stupid crown profile picture she has.

I’m alive, her message reads, just a sprain but I’m gutted bc I wanted a cast so you all could sign it.

Rowan is on his own phone when Lorcan looks back up, he’s tapping away but Lorcan doesn’t see any messages from him in the group chat. His knee has stilled under the table and Lorcan swears there’s something that looks like relief on his face. Relief? As if there was ever any danger of Galathynius not being fine.

Wait.

“Why the fuck are you so worried about Galathynius?”

Rowan’s eyes narrow and he carefully tucks his phone back into his pocket.

“I’m not,” he says but it sounds somewhat like a question and Lorcan isn’t convinced.

Until he decides he doesn’t give a shit enough to ask any more questions, Whitethorn seems back to normal and if Galathynius being fine is the reason for it he can think about it later.

And probably speak to Fenrys.

Aedion is drunk.

Like truly and utterly wasted.

So far a good night.

The rest of the group are somewhere dispersed around the bar but he’s happy here, tucked up in their booth, resting his head against the cushioned velvet while the room spins around him. He’s pretty sure Aelin is still in the booth with him and it might be Rowan with her but he’s too lazy to open his eyes to check.

He can hear the pounding base of a song he doesn’t recognise and he could fall asleep right here, somehow lulled to sleep by the beat and the volume of alcohol he’s consumed.

He doesn’t mean to listen to Aelin and Rowan’s conversation, even though he’s pretty sure it’s not intruding if they know he’s sat right there, but pieces of their conversation spike his attention.

“You don’t want me to stay at yours tonight?” he hears Aelin ask and Aedion is intrigued.

Lysandra is out tonight so Aelin has a safe ride home with her roommate and no need to crash at Rowan and Fenrys’ apartment.

“It’s not that I don’t want you to.” Rowan’s voice is low and hard to hear over the music. “But Fenrys is out with us and if I say I want to leave he’ll join me, then you know he’d ask questions.”

Aedion from tomorrow is screaming at him to pay attention to this conversation and so he keeps his eyes closed to try and listen in. He’s almost holding his breath to try and hear their voices over the noise of the bar.

They’re quiet for a moment and he’s so tempted to crack his eyes open.

“I know,” he finally hears Rowan say. “I’m sorry, Fireheart. We will.”

Hearing the term of endearment drop off Rowan’s lips is too much, it’s weird, he didn’t realise the two of them were close enough for Rowan to know about the nickname his cousin has. He risks opening one of his eyes to just a thin slit.

He’s not ready for what he sees.

Aelin is tucked under Rowan’s arm, resting her cheek on his chest. Rowan’s chin rests on the top of his cousin’s head before he softly presses his lips to her hair.

Aedion has many questions. He immediately closes his eye. He’s drunk, he can’t trust his eyes.

He hears rustling and then definitely his name from his cousin but it doesn’t sound like she’s talking to him.

Then, “Aedion.” Rowan’s voice has him blinking his eyes open and lifting his head from the booth.

They’re separated now, sitting with a couple of inches between them on the seat. Maybe he didn’t see them cuddled up a minute ago, he’s not sure.

“Drink this.” Rowan is holding out a glass of water, his tone leaving no room for protests.

“Hey,” he hears how slurred his voice is and catches Aelin’s laughter. “Thanks bro.”

Aelin puts her face in her hands. Rowan doesn’t crack, just waves the glass of water in front of him. He reaches out to grab it but he can see more than one of his hand reaching for the glass.

“Gods,” Aelin says, looking at Rowan. “Maybe you should take him home.”

“I will,” Rowan agrees quickly, looking at her softly and Aedion has about a million more questions. “I’ll get him to drink this first.”

Aelin nods and he finally manages to take a hold of the water and downs it in about a minute. Rowan slides out of the booth and holds a hand out to Aedion. He lets his friend tug him up and begins his stumble to the exit.

He feels Rowan pause behind him and catches the words, “meet you at yours afterwards.”

He manages to spin and see Aelin smiling as she leaves the booth too. He doesn’t bother to think about it, he probably won’t remember tomorrow.

He’ll ask Lysandra.

Aelin’s hand is clammy where she holds Rowan’s.

It’s the only sign of the nerves she feels, this conversation has been brewing for a while, and regardless of their friends’ reactions she’s happy with Rowan. Honestly, it’s only been about a month in total since that one night for Elide’s birthday that changed everything, but she thinks she might be falling for him.

She can’t believe she thought he was a dick when they first met. Well, she supposes he is a dick. One of the first things he ever said to her was that she was a spoiled brat but, in his defense, she’d just called him a stuck up bastard.

Now though she loves the thrill of his quick mind. Loves the way he can tease and taunt her until she’s trembling beneath him and about a second away from begging. She loves the soft kisses he presses to her hair when he knows she’s had a bad day, she loves when he comes back from work with a slice of chocolate hazelnut cake under his arm because he knows it will make her smile.

What she doesn’t love is keeping this a secret from all of their best friends. It started out as embarrassment, after they slept together on Elide’s birthday she didn’t know what it was, didn’t know if they’d just fucked everything up, didn’t know if their friendships were about to implode.

But then it happened again, and again and again, until it’s four am and she’s pressing her lips to his one last time so she can sneak out without Fenrys noticing and be home before Lysandra wakes up.

The sneaking around was hot at first. His hand over her mouth holding in her whimpers as he fucked her on the couch he shares with Fenrys, when he slid the pillow between her bedframe and the wall when Lysandra had texted asking if she could hear that weird banging noise, all the times they had cut it a little too close. But now, it’s exhausting.

She wants to be able to hold Rowan’s hand and kiss him without the wariness pooling in her stomach and she knows he feels the same.

“Guys,” she says loudly to the room filled with their friends. Rowan squeezes her hand where they’re hidden beneath a couch pillow. “We have something to tell you all.”

Five pairs of eves pivot to her and she swallows.

“Rowan and I are… dating,” she says slowly, as though she’s unsure of how the words will go down.

There’s a beat of silence before their friends erupt.

“I knew it!”

“I fucking told you they were.”

“Pay up you bastard.”

Lorcan scowls, pulling out his wallet and Aelin blinks. She did not expect this.

“Wait.” Lorcan holds up a hand. “Before I hand over any cash we need details. Dating or in a relationship? How long have you been dating? Who asked who? Who started this? Most importantly; when?”

She looks to Rowan who’s green eyes reflect her own bewilderment.

“Um,” he starts unsurely, “we’re in a relationship.” He punctuates this with another squeeze of her hand and she grins. The feeling of his fingers linked through her own spreads warmth up her arm before settling in her chest. “It started a few weeks ago.”

Her friends are all leaning forwards, still waiting.

“When exactly?” Lysandra asks. “Like what was the date?”

“Well, the first time was the night of Elide’s birthday.”

Fenrys launches himself out of his seat. “I fucking told all of you.” He holds his right hand out starkly in front of him. “Pay up all of you, I was right.”

There are complaints and grumbled protests but Fenrys ends up with a handful of twenties and Elide a couple of notes herself.

“Wait,” Aelin says, brushing a hand across her forehead as if this will somehow clear it up. “You guys bet on us?”

That seems to still the commotion coming from the other side of the room.

It’s Aedion who speaks. “Yeah,” he says in a way that sounds like duh. “You didn’t think you were subtle did you?”

“Kind of,” Rowan says eventually, leaning forwards to brace his elbows on his knees. “We weren’t obvious. And none of you ever seemed to let on.”

“Bro, are you serious?” Aedion laughs as Elide and Lysandra snicker.

“You seriously thought we never knew?” Lysandra sounds as baffled as Aelin feels. “All those texts I sent when I knew he was over? All the mysterious unnamed hook-ups on nights you and Rowan both disappeared together? All the times you’d think you were subtle but your lipstick would be on his neck? We have been waiting for this.”

She’s laughing and Aelin feels a bubble of laughter in her own throat. She can’t believe it. It had seemed to reach a point of obviousness but none of them had ever commented.

“I can’t believe you all knew,” she cries burying her face in her hands as Rowan slings an arm around her shoulders and pulls her in close. “Why did none of you say anything?”

“It was against the rules of the bet,” Fenrys says seriously and Rowan uses his other arm to dig his bicep, his laughter rumbling in his chest beneath her.

She smiles into the fabric of his shirt as the group erupts again, bickering over who knew first and who knew the most. Aelin doesn’t care, it’s gone better than she could have imagined and she has Rowan and her friends and she loves them.

A secret relationship no longer. It feels good.

[kirieshhhka003]

kakyoin as a partner?

A/n: this request is little bit vague so I decided to write this lil smut bc I’m feeling whoreny. Thank you for your request, my dear anon💚

Pairing: Kakyoin Noriaki x fem! Reader

Warnings: NSFW, deepthroating, face fucking

- Mmm... oh fuck babe... take it deeper. Mhah, yes just like that... - you hear Kakyoin’s muffled voice above. He is lounged on his bed, having you kneeled between his legs, sucking on his cock desperately

You look up at red-haired and see his blushed cheeks that almost match the red color of his hair. Noriaki nibbles on his fingers as his other hand is comfortably set atop your head, guiding you and controlling your moves

A lewed “smock” fills the space around you two as you dismiss Kakyoin’s stiff cock from the velvety heat of your mouth, stroking the shaft lovingly and leaving a sweet peck on his pink sensitive tip

Noriaki reclines his head against the wall behind his back, a heavy sigh slips past his lips and then turns into a wanton moan as you take a long wide lick of his dick, starting from the girth and following along all length, ending on his swollen head

Your nimble tongue hovers all over his inflated tip, you slowly take more and more of his dick inside of your mouth, that slowly that red-haired tightens his grip on your hair, applying some pressure to harshly slide you down his length. Your eyes water a little at the feeling of his dick bumping your throbbing throat, but you quickly forget about it and try to relax - god, you love it so much when Noriaki acts so dominant

Your mouth descents onto his shaft, and you feel his short pubes tickling against your nose, the musky scent of his groin makes you roll your eyes back in pleasure, a soft moan comes out of your throat, sending vibrations to Kakyoin’s cock, making him sequel and swirl under your touches

Kakyoin draws your head closer with little force, threading you on his dick, not letting you go for a few seconds, almost suffocating on himself. You pull back the second his grip on your head loosens, coughing and trying to catch your breath

- Shit, babe, I’m sorry. I couldn’t hold myself back. I’m sorry, - Kakyoin strokes your hair idly as he leans down and gives you a wet sloppy kiss, his fingers comb through your hair, rubbing the skin of your head fondly

- Nah I’m okay, - you say breathily and bump your forehead against his. You look him right in the eyes and with a mischievous smirk on your face add: - Do that again

A wide nasty grin plasters across Kakyoin’s handsome face as he grips on your hair harshly, shoving your head in his groin, ordering in cold tone:

- Take it all. Down your throat

In a matter of second he changed his mild and soft personality to completely different - mean and insolent, not caring about what you want. You feel a warm liquid running down your hip - you’re dripping wet from what a selfish dick Kakyoin is. You definitely love it

You clamp your lips around Noriaki’s throbbing cock, and the next moment he is balls deep inside, your throat clenches insatiably onto him. He pulls out and then pulls back in, burying his dick deep inside of you. Your jaw starts to ache as your tongue works red-haired’s dick with enthusiasm, but this slight pain only thrills you more

Kakyoin completely loses control over himself, starting to pound your face like a jack hammer. You can barely breath under his insane pace, thick saliva mixed with Noriaki’s pre-cum drips down your neck, covering your bare chest in this filthy liquid

By his loud fitful moans you can tell that Kakyoin is nearing his orgasm, his fingers grip tighter on your hair, as he starts to mercilessly fuck your face, destroying your throat. A few seconds later Noriaki pulls his slicked cock out of your mouth and, stroking it briskly, cums all over your face. You feel heavy globes of cums slowly run down your cheeks, you open your mouth wider, trying to catch every drop of his pearly sperm

You hear Noriaki humming quietly above you and he then bumps his overstimulated tip on your cheek, running it all over your face, smearing his sperm even more. You let out a disgruntled whine, trying to dodge away from this contact and look up at Kakyoin’s face, slightly furrowing your eyebrows

- Whaat? Don’t act like you don’t like it, you hoe, - Kakyoin bursts out laughing at his last words, and you just can’t be mad at him anymore. Red-haired looks so funny when tries to act like a cool bastard, you just snort and sit next to him on his bed

Kakyoin turns to your side, putting both of his hands on your hips, leaning in to whisper into your ear:

- We’re not done yet, darling. Now lay down on you back and spread you pretty legs wide, I’ll take a great care of you

Masterlist | Smut Masterlist

Please, leave comments. It really boosts me and inspires on making new writings!💚