#not talking about other aro people who hc those characters as such

[scikeyuri]

sometimes i think these td poly ships are a ruse like i see them and i think "oh you support me!!" and then those same people who claim to like certain poly ships go on to hc very specific characters as aro because that character gets in the way of their monogamous ship when they find out theres a poly ship revolving those two characters saying this as someone whos also aro

[tangents-within-tangents]

Local Ace overthinks headcanon and shipping culture

Happy ace week, my friends! Imma be posting some aspec hc's this week so I felt the need to overexplain my personal stance on orientation headcanons and such

To start, as with any and all fandom things: to each their own. People can do whatever they want, and (for the most part) I can choose what I do or don't engage with. I know that hc and shipping and stuff is mostly for fun, or for seeking/creating representation, no hate to anyone who does it and enjoys it.

But also sometimes things can be problematic and I can still be bothered by those things. Even things that are 'just for fun' or 'not for you' can impact and reflect our views and behaviors, so it's still worth speaking about.

Aro/ace-spec identities are really diverse and complex, and we're really underrepresented as is. We have historically and chronically been plagued by problematic misconceptions and tropes, both in canon representation (or lack thereof) and fanon mindsets. Some of the main issues to be aware of with this topic specifically:

The majority of (sometimes unintentional) representation being non-human characters (like aliens and robots) implying that sex/romance = humanity and/or a fulfilling life. (Here's some video essays that touch on this: X X)

Related stereotype issues like racist or ableist de-sexualization and infantilization of certain groups like Asian men, physically disabled people, or people with autism. (It's an intersectionality thing bc yes those people can be aro/ace as well but it's still complicated) (more video essays! X X)

Common erasure of historically aspec characters in favor of allo plotlines bc that's "more interesting/realistic". Or ignoring canonically established aspec characters in favor of allo shipping (often excused by the fact that some aro/ace people do have sex/relationships, which is true but the complexities and nuances are often ignored and there's lots of double standards) (Here's some posts that touch on this: X X X)

Amatonormativity's over emphasis on sex/romance as a fundamental and necessary part of life, which is often reflected in how media and shipping culture are generally allo-centric, and it can just get pretty pervasive at times (note: we aren't a monolith obv, some aro/ace people enjoy it and participate too, but others don't and it is hard to avoid) X X

So while I know there's lots of reasons for shipping and headcanoning, and for the most part there's nothing wrong with it and people aren't trying to do these things, there are still issues that exist. Honestly seeing posts talking about these things has been really validating for me bc it let me know like yeah this is a problem other's have noticed too and I don't have to just accept it.

So with respect and awareness of nuance, ship and headcanon however you want. The rest of this post is about my own personal preferences and such. I'm not necessarily trying to persuade anyone here, I just have some thoughts I want to put into words:

For me personally, when it comes to characters' sexualities/gender identities/etc, I prefer just to stick to whatever is established in canon (or in confirmed intentional coding), and, if nothing is specified, headcanons that are based in canon evidence (more like theories I guess, as opposed to reimaginings or straight-up projection that knowingly ignores parts of canon. Which is fine and fun if that's what you like but to me there is a distinction). This is because:

1: While fandom culture is all about freedom and creativity, I do think it's important in this day and age to recognize actual canon representation and strive towards that because that is what will reach more people and have impact (and personally I think that writers' intentions should actually be given more thought/value)

2: I think that shipping/hc/fandom culture in general tends to perpetuate amatonormativity (specifically in devaluing/erasing friendship and non-romantic love), and sometimes leads to harmful parasocial queer speculation in real life (though again, I know that's not the intention but it's still a thing).

3: Generally, unless it’s explored as a part of a reimagined fic or something, just saying a random character is aspec (or whatever identity) when they did not present that way at all in the actual media doesn't really help me feel seen.

For example, I've seen a lot of people headcanon Mabel Pines as aromantic and that really threw me off bc in the show she is obsessed with romance. Like if other's see themselves in her that is great I won't stop you (the idea is that her crushes are comphet, which is not something I personally struggled with, and maybe I could see it if I rewatched the show with that in mind) but when I watched the show, I specifically did not connect with or relate to Mabel BECAUSE of my ace identity (yeah this post was mainly about her lol) so it just doesn't do much for me to claim her as aspec, in fact it feels counterproductive.

Sometimes it can feel really tacked on too, like 'well it's not confirmed that this character has sex so they could be ace', or 'some ace people do have sex so they can still be ace.' And like sure yes they could be but often it's like a kid show or something so none of the characters' sex lives are relevant or explicitly confirmed. Just bc they aren't not ace doesn't mean that they are, or that saying they are is meaningful if the character/story doesn't actually speak to anything related to the ace identity or experience. (This can happen with canon characters too, like Sponge Bob being asexual means absolutely nothing to me, especially since I get the sense that the creator said that more in a 'sea sponges reproduce asexually' type of way :/ )

So basically, in terms of representation I prefer the theory/interpretation type of headcanons that have supporting evidence of some kind, because that evidence is what makes me see myself in a character and feel represented in some way by them. So that's the type of headcanons I'll be posting, and that's why I'll be discussing evidence and explanations, even though I know plenty of people have fun and find value in just claiming identities without any of that.

Another thing I feel the need to overexplain is kinda the reverse of that. I think it's important to recognize that a character does not have to be a certain identity for you to see yourself in them. Like that sense of relatability and representation is still valid even if they aren't, and I think it's good to leave space for that ambiguity.

This is coming mostly from the fact that I have always valued platonic relationships (between any and all genders) long before I ever knew I was ace. I've always wished that was better normalized and represented in media and real life. I think that is just as important as queer representation, and sometimes they can counteract each other.

Like yes Min and Ryan could be gay and if that's what the writers were going for despite restrictions, or if people see themselves in that, great! But I would also love for this story to give a close friendship this much narrative value for once.

Merida does not HAVE to be aro/ace (or lesbian) to not want to be forced into marriage with a stranger at the age of 16 (in fact she specifically says "I'm not ready" and "not yet"). But regardless, aspects of her story are still really relatable to us and applicable to living in amatonormative society.

Mako and/or Raleigh do not NEED to be aspec for this glorious refreshing no-romo moment to happen (nor does one need to be aspec to appreciate it)

And maybe claiming them as aro/ace could even undercut the power of this platonic bond (like saying the only way they could not be interested in each other is if they are not interested in anyone (same if you said they are gay, as if that's the only possible way for a man and woman not to be attracted to each other)). But it's still a moment lots of us aspecs love because platonic relationships AND aro/ace characters do go hand in hand and BOTH are so rarely portrayed in media.

So these ideas also play into my preferences, and I want to acknowledge that my headcanons don't have to be definitive (which like I know that is normal amongst fandom culture anyway) but are more about pointing out aspects we can see ourselves in and relate to, especially in a media landscape that is so lacking in representation and understanding of our identities.

[musicalmoritz]

do u hc any character on the aro/ace spectrum?

I love this question!! Unfortunately since TBHK is so heavily focused on romance, I don’t have many. Ofc aroace ppl can still date but fandoms tend to ignore the nuance of that statement and put them into relationships without considering what that means for them. I like to look at it a bit deeper because aroace headcanons do have some importance to me. My sister is aroace so every time I see a headcanon for a character being aspec I have to let her know lol. So before I get into this list I just wanted to say to any aroace ppl who see this, I love ya’ll, ya’ll are doing great <3

Nobody murder me, I’m going to explain. Typically I’m not a fan of aroace villains bcuz the trope has some nasty implications. That doesn’t mean no villain character can ever be headcanoned as aroace but I need some very good reasons before sticking with a headcanon like that. And for Tsukasa, I have my reasons!! A lot of fans tend to agree that he shouldn’t be in a relationship with anybody and that used to really annoy me because I don’t like the whole “this character is clearly mentally ill therefore they get no love” thing. I know it goes deeper than that with him being generally abusive but still. Eh. There are people with disorders that make them bad partners and those people are still very capable of getting therapy and improving. Plus most fans who say that claim to love toxic ships to like???

I’m not really a fan of any Tsukasa ships tho (I used to crack ship TsuAoi but those days are over) so I figured I would actually put some effort into giving a reason as to why he doesn’t do relationships. Rather than go the whole “he could hurt other people” route, I wanted to focus more about how Tsukasa himself would feel about dating. And to be honest? I don’t think he’d like it! He’s definitely interested in relationships as a concept but I don’t think he’s the type to take them seriously. I try to use this headcanon to humanize Tsukasa rather than demonizing him like a lot of people do with aroace villain headcanons. Love is very important to him on a platonic level but romance just isn’t his thing. And it creates a nice contrast in fics between him and characters whose lives center so much around romance. My sister actually is the one who introduced me to this hc and every aroace hc she has is law so I abide by it lmao

This one is way more recent but it makes so much sense to me. If you want to talk about characters who are more realistically potentially aroace, Tsuchigomori has never expressed the desire for a love interest in canon. When most adult male characters are single in fiction it’s seen as a problem (at least in a comedic sense), but with Tsuchigomori none of the characters question it. I feel like he has some level of interest in romance, maybe demiromantic?? But overall romantic attraction isn’t something he experiences easily

This one is more based on vibes and me hunting down every TBHK character that doesn’t have an arc connected to romantic attraction. I don’t think he realized it when he was alive because the people in his village didn’t talk about asexuality/aromanticism much. Maybe he thought he was gay but that didn’t quite feel right because his disinterest in women extended to everyone. He seems like the type to love being surrounded by people and be generally very personable, so his platonic relationships are very important to him. Just no romance

I know you specifically asked for aroace characters but I 100% see this man as demiromantic, and maybe demisexual too. Possibly completely asexual, though leaning more towards the positive side of the spectrum (or just neutral). Emotions don’t come easily to this man so love is a complicated subject but I do believe he’s capable of loving people romantically, just under specific circumstances and not in the traditional sense

I hope you liked these headcanons!! I’ve seen some others that interest me too. I once wrote a Sakuhiko request where they were both aroace and queer platonic, that was very fun. I’ve also seen both the Minamoto brothers written as asexual which is cool to me. Tbh I’m open to most types of headcanons unless I see one that inexplicably gives me the ick…but even then I mind my business bcuz I don’t have to agree with every headcanon I see. I may not have many aroace headcanons for TBHK but I have more for other fandoms, completely unrelated but I could write a whole essay on why Jean Valjean is aroace lol

[styrofauxm]

I want to do this anyway, and getting the aromantic tag trending is a good excuse, so here's my masterlist of aspec headcanons and canon characters (that I know of)!

Always Human (Webtoon):

Rae (aromantic and asexual) - canon, discussed in the media itself (link)

And Another Lovely Day (Webtoon):

Nora Chestnut (aroace) - canon, main character, discussed in the media itself

Elliot Lam (aroace) - canon, main character, discussed in media itself

AstralSounds (Webtoon, Website):

Resilient (aromantic) - canon, main character, confirmed in a bonus episode (link)

Yunni (asexual) - canon, main character, confirmed in a bonus episode (link)

Avatar: The Last Airbender/Legend of Korra:

Toph Beifong (aromantic and acespec) - I really see her as thinking she has a crush on Sokka because she's never really been allowed to explore that before. But those thoughts die as quickly as they came. Later in life, she wants kids, but she really does not want a husband or long-term sexual relationship. She finds some people who are cool with that, and then raises her kids alone!

Deadloch:

Eddie Redcliffe (aroallo, romance favorable) - She just has aro vibes, okay? She does. I talked through it a bit in the comments on this post.

Dungeon Meshi (Manga Series, Anime Series):

Laios (non-sam aromantic) - I don't think he's even ever considered romance as a thing he would be interested in. Dating someone has simply never occurred to him. If someone asked him out it would certainly lead to a lot of thoughts.

Mithrun (loveless aromantic, romance indifferent) - I'm right and I know it. This unfortunately means I'm the only person who truly understands Kabru/Mithrun (/lh).

Every Heart a Doorway (Book):

Nancy (asexual) - canon, main character, discussed in the media itself

Fablehaven (Book Series):

Kendra Sorenson (asexual) - She makes one comment about "never going to the playground" in book one and I took that and ran with it

Seth Sorenson (aromantic) - I honestly just think it's fun to make one sibling aromantic and the other asexual

Gravity Falls (Cartoon Series):

Mabel Pines (aromantic) - I view Mabel's obsession with boys as playing into her own internalized amatonormativity and comphet. She'll be much happier once she realizes she doesn't actually want to date anybody (I also love the cupio and lesbian hcs, this is just my interpretation)

Dipper Pines (asexual) - once again, very fun to make one sibling aro and the other ace

Stanley Pines (aroallo) - vibes

Stanford Pines (aroace, non-partnering) - I mean the Book of Bill all but confirms this, right?

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss (Cartoon Series):

Alastor (aromantic and asexual) - canon, main character, hinted at in canon, confirmed outside the source material (too complicated to link)

Angel Dust (asexual, sex favorable) - read a fic with this (no, I don't remember which one unfortunately) and it's compelled me ever since

Octavia (asexual) - canon, major character, confirmed outside the source material (link)

Mammon (asexual) - canon, confirmed outside the source material (link)

Marvel Comics/MCU (Comic Series, Movie Series, TV Series):

Daisy Johnson, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. show (aromantic, acespec) - vibes, but also I just don't see any chemistry between her and the people she dates on the show T-T

Ruby Hale, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. show (asexual) - canon, major character, confirmed outside the source materal (link)

Nadia Van Dyne/The Wasp, comics (aroace) - canon, confirmed outside the source material (link)

Yelena Belova, Black Widow movie, Hawkeye show, comics (aroace) - canon, confirmed in the source material (link)

Gwendolyn Poole/Gwenpool, comics (aroace) - canon, confirmed the source material (link)

Muted (Webtoon):

Silvia Severin (aroace) - canon, major character, confirmed in the source material (link)

Market Of Monsters (Book Series)/Not Even Bones (Webtoon):

Nita Sánchez (arospec and acespec) - Canon, main character, confirmed in the source material

Kovit Sangwaraporn (arospec and acespec) - Canon, main character, confirmed in the source material

Adair (aromantic) - Just how he talks about romance

Diana (aromantic) - Again, how she talks about romance

Protector of the Small (Book Series):

Keladry of Mindelan (aroace) - canon, main character, confirmed outside the source material (link)

Roar Howl Run (Website):

Ata (aroace) - canon, main character, confirmed in the source material

Seven Days in Silverglen (Webtoon):

Mira (arospec) - canon, main character, hinted at in the source material, confirmed outside the source material (link)

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (Cartoon Series):

Mermista (fluxromantic) - mostly vibes but also it just makes sense to me

Seahawk (fluxromantic) - same as with Mermista

Glimmer (aspec) - idk what she is but it is not alloallo

Bow (arospec and acespec) - I think it's fun for the arrow-ace characters to be aroaces

Entrapta (cupiorose) - I relate to her character a lot and as such I can stretch canon to make her aroace too

Steven Universe (Cartoon Series):

Peridot (aroace) - canon, hinted at in the source material, confirmed outside the source material

Amethyst (arospec, acespec) - saw someone say this once and I liked it

The Dragon Prince (Cartoon Series):

Rayla (aspec) - Once again, vibes. I saw both her and Callum this way all the way back in S1 and it hasn't died for me.

Callum (aspec) - Vibes, read above.

The Good Place (TV Series):

Eleanor Shellstrop (demiromantic) - she doesn't fall in love easily, because she doesn't connect with people easily. Her falling in love with Chidi multiple times is a huge deal for her.

Chidi Anagonye (demisexual) - I think it would be fun if he was demisexual and Eleanor was demiromantic

Tahani Al-Jamil (aroallo) - She really just seems unbothered by the romantic parts of her relationships in the show, and her arc ends up with her staying single.

Michael (aroace) - I know this because he told me personally

The Owl House (Cartoon Series):

Luz Noceda (asexual) - If you flip her outfit upside down it makes the asexual flag

Lilith Clawthorne (aroace) - canon, major character, confirmed outside the source material (link - I could not find the original)

Vespertine (Book):

Artemisia (aroace) - canon, main character, confirmed outside the source material (link)

[oceanwithouthermoon]

i always considered saiki aro, but you make me really rethink with kubosai. .

THATS SO LOVELY, i know you didnt ask but.. im going to take this opportunity to talk a little about my stance on kubosai and saiki's sexuality.. i mean i have talked about it multiple times but still, lots of people dont see what i see in these things sooo im gonna keep talking about it lol..

(under the cut cuz i made this WAYYY longer than i meant to, sorryyyy..)

i still see saiki as aroace personally !! just not romance repulsed aroace, rather just on the aroace spectrum.. i think hes the type of person to use 'queer' and 'aroace' as umbrella terms for himself instead of caring about specific labels, but if i had to, i would say he fits best with demi based on my interpretation.. (i usually see him as with no preference, but based on the text its easy to see him as having a preference for men too..)

i do get why people would see him as romance repulsed and its a lovely hc, but i see saiki as mlm, at least in the way i interpreted it.. i mean, he almost straight up says he has a crush on satou in the manga.. its great if people interpret it as a 'squish,' but i personally dont see that,, he kinda blatantly threw them in a romance chart together, blushes every time he sees him, etc. HOWEVER aroace people who relate in some way and project their experiences onto saiki will ALWAYS be valid, so i dont care !! i literally do that lmfao im an aroace lesbian,,

anyway, saiki has a lot of silly tsundere moments that lots of people who dont really look at the show past surface level (and usually dont read the manga) see as him literally hating his friends, family, romance, etc when its very much shown how hes being a tsundere and he LOVES his friends, family, AND romance.. (canonically loves romance not as in he definitely experiences romantic attraction, but as in he just is weirdly into love stories and such but wont admit it lmao, i talk about that chapter where he gets obsessed with those strangers love story he saw with psychometry but its just so good lol..) so i think that misinterpretation is where a lot of the discourse in this fandom comes from, like people who think he GENUINELY hates teruhashi ? they r literally best friends he cares about her so much..

kubosai is a ship i started loving, not really from seeing their canon interactions, but from analyzing the characters in the manga and seeing who i think would actually fit together and have a good dynamic..

im very weak for characters who are ashamed of their dark past, afraid of their own strength and that they might hurt the people they love, scared to tell their loved ones their secrets, etc.. and kuboyasu and saiki fit the bill perfectly, so i looked at them and immediately thought BOOM what if they were in love..

their dynamic is fun, even though we didnt get a lot of canon interactions.. theyre so similar yet SO different at the same time..

they both have pretty tragic pasts and family lives, both VERY protective of their friends and family and would do anything for them, both have bad coping mechanisms (mostly refusing to acknowledge that anything is really wrong at all), etc.. and yet, theyre almost opposites in the way they actually carry themselves..

saiki appears apathetic at all times in front of others even though his internal monologue or how he expresses himself when hes alone can be really emotional.. kuboyasu is pretty happy all the time even though he has pretty thinly veiled anger about half the time..

kuboyasu is just a human boy who was taught to take up as much space as possible for his survival, defend himself with his fists, honesty and loyalty and trust are essential, etc, while saiki is an almost-god whose upbringing taught him to try his best to take up NO space at all for his survival, dont get involved unless its from afar, dont get close with anyone, dont trust anyone, etc..

saiki prefers to protect his people from in the shadows, going as far as to literally stalk them to make sure theyre okay without their knowledge, while kuboyasu is unafraid to show how much he cares and prefers to literally come out swinging to protect his people.. put them together and you get two silly guys who will literally protect the other with their life despite knowing damn well that theyre both fully capable of protecting themselves..

kuboyasu is also like.. one of the only people in the cast other than saiki who can be like.. a voice of reason sometimes.. he would be so good for saiki and would make damn sure he knows when hes being irrational or dramatic (because cmon, its saiki.. hes such a drama queen all the damn time..) and i just think he needs that in his life..

yasu would reign saiki in when it comes to his everyday dramatics, and in turn saiki would reign yasu in when it comes to his over the top romance standards (and probably his anger issues and overreactions too..) and yet at the same time they would take comfort in each others silliness.. saiki may be like "we cant just drop out and get married, thats not how it works" but isnt it so refreshing for him to have someone that cares about him so unconditionally ?? unlike his own family ?? itd scare him at first, but hed make yasu tone it down to a healthier extent and itd become soo comfortable..

[zeronetxt]

examples from this post below

Aro/Aces

Jason Todd. I'm fr heavy on this one because i'm gatekeeping him cough cough but to me (idc that its canon that he is not, if i ignore canon its not real) he seems like the type not to really gaf. and honestly, NOT EVERY SUPERHERO NEEDS TO HAVE A ROMANTIC ARC 🙄🙄 take notes from me, dc. i have an demi-aspec oc who is feral af and would totally smother jason with affection and he is thriving (he really isn't, hes a traumatised demon)

Chuuya Nakahara because NOWHERE IS IT MENTIONED (that i could find, at least) THAT HE HAS AN INTEREST IN WOMEN OR MEN. The only one i can think of that he would be interested in is dazai and i see that as a "pikachu! i choose you!" moment instead of a "i hate you, i want to be yours" type of thing. i'm not sure how to explain it, but like a forced crush since they have after all known each other for 7 years and literally dazai can anticipate his movements. (im talking about that one scene in the guild arc i think it was. "WHY YOU!")

Percy Jackson. I'm putting him as demi (still somewhat on the aspec tho yk?) because of his relationship with annabeth. idc, THEY ARE EACH OTHERS ENDGAMES. id say pretty much the same for annabeth, i mean, they knew each other for a while before they fell in love and started dating, but tbf, i have NOT even read the pjo series in a ehile sad face

Jouno Saigiku because i feel like his only interest is justice. i dunno how to expand on him, but yeah. i love jouno so much and if he really do be dead before i get a suegiku reunion, im firing everyone

Tetchou Suehiro. he's an (adorable) oddity in itself, but still serious. I don't think he'd be looking for a relationship, especially in his line of work. he is quite literally an overworker. MY BOY IS TRAINING EVEN DURING MEETINGS. however my one exception to 'bro has no feelings' is jouno. why? learn in the bi section of this (its quite obvious tho)

Ranpo Edogawa. Mostly because have you seen him? i'd say his only interests are solving crimes and his snacks (and obviously the ada). obviously he has more, but those are the main ones that come to mind. other than the (probably) one sided rivalry of ranpoe where i swear poe is the only one that says theyre rivals, i dont think that he's the type to make relationships with others outside of the ada. maybe the hunting dogs/pm if he really had to, but i kin him, and i say he is

Trans people (mostly just trans men, im sorry to my girlies 🥺)

just a not i want to put, i think i only put trans guy hcs bc i myself am transmasc lewl

Junichirou Tanizaki. Sorry, i feel stereotypical for saying this, but his body, my dude. also his style, in the manga, he wears a black top underneath his white vneck(?) whichh to me feels like its a binder. also i love that ranga and naomis relationship w him kinda makes me sad, but ill post my theory on that another time. and also his hair (beautiful and gorgeous btw) just makes me so happy w the little clips and stuff. baggy shirt my guy, great style.

Jason Todd SOMETIMES. i think i just want to relate to him a lil, because im a lil silly like that.

chuuya nakahara on occasion but i think its just because were the same height 🧍

ryuunosuke akutagawa because honestly a trans aku would be interesting but not that relevant. idk, i like the idea of it

Bisexuals/Pansexuals

ATSUSHI NAKAJIMA!!! I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT. lucy??? akutagawa??? BROS HAD HEAVY MOMENTS WITH BOTH OF THEM. i can not see him as anything but a disaster bisexual honestly.

Jason Todd (again HA). Seeing as people can be pan/bi as well as aro/ace, i see him fitting into that, maybe demi-bi or something. he doesnt really strike me as the type to fall in love quickly, but he doesnt really care what he falls for, he cares for whom he does. i am a jason todd hc kinnie

Michizou Tachihara. my goody, i dont ship it but tachigin is just right there. and the scene during the corruption arc w tanizaki (i am not romanticising this but i feel like i am, DEAD). i love the content w him, and also i noticed he and juni pretty much have the same shirt 💀 but also, bro has piercings and dyes his hair, does he just know he is gorgeous???

percy jackson, i'm not even gonna expand

Tetchou Suehiro because BRO AND JOUNO FR. not even gonna lie, if a man (tecchou) says that he would put me above justice for FIVE MINUTES, I WOULD FOLD. thats the main one for me. the other would be the pushups during a meeting. their moments are just cute, sue me

lol im too lazy to come up with i cant think of any more

[oodlesofowls]

Feel free to use as pfp WITH CREDIT!!!! :)

hcs below the cut ^^

Ok kenma is so very aro and so very gay. My favorite dynamics of his are bokuakakuroken and kenhina but he really gives platonic vibes even in those ships. i love the idea that hes aroace but still dating bokuto, kuroo and akaashi who also give various aspec vibes btw. i think i just really like characters in poly relationships where one part is platonic but means just as much because im self conscious about how much my friends care about me lol. but anyway. it’s obvious that kenma really likes hinata, we see it when they first meet and kenma just immediately gets a squish on him and then in the timeskip where he sponsors hinata like omg theyre so ahhh. i think he just really likes being around hinata and finds him fascinating. canon really encapsulates the beginning of a squish for me like kenma is just so intrigued and really finds hinata to be a really fun person to be around and opens up to him much more easily than anyone and i will die on platonic kenhina hill!!!

i talked a bit about kenkagehina in my aro hinata post but ill talk about it again. i think that kenma would be very competitive about hinatas attention at first and even later but after some time kageyama grows on him and they have a quiet understanding of each other. i dont think they would be dating in the polycule just mutually connected by hinata but i think their relationship matters a lot nonetheless.

kenma is the type of person to be really into relationship anarchy. like he probably wouldn’t understand why others put romantic relationships above everything else and he likes to let his relationships figure themselves out and never really picks a most important relationship.

also he and kuro have just such a good dynamic and they lowkey remind me of a childhood friend of mine who i used to have a squish on lol. they are just so good as best friends and i love how much they understand each other. they also give semi sibling vibes, obviously found family siblings so i think they would be much more cuddly with each other since theyre just used to it.

also i love thinking of all the dynamics in bokuakakuroken and one of my favorites is definitely bokuken. i think they compliment and understand each other much more than one would think and bokuto is probably a lot more reserved around kenma but in a relaxed way. kenma understands bokutos slumps and is there to confort him when he needs it and bokuto is an easy person for kenma to be around because he doesnt feel like he has to talk if he doesnt want to and now im just talking about how theyre both neurodivergent and- ahhhh

anywayyyy some mini hcs that are semi related to him being aro

he hates being touched except by like 3 people

kuroo had a crush on kenma in middle school and kenma rejected him on accident and didnt even know until years later when kuroo told him

he took a lot of am i gay quizes and always got like 50% so he thought he was bi for a bit

very romance repulsed but sex ambivalent

also hes acespec to me (probably fraysexual)

[oscconfessions]

Sigh... I'm gonna add my two cents about the Balloon arospec drama(I'm AroAce BTW) and by my two cents I mean I'll mention it two times and just talk about something else related. I'll also be providing some knowledge about AroAceness and all that.

For those of you who don't know,

Aro: Aromantic - Little to no romantic attraction.

Ace: Asexual - Little to no sexual attraction.

Aro+Ace are spectrums and aren't just "every Aro person doesn't feel any kind of romantic attraction" or "every Ace person can't feel sexual attraction." I feel as tbough people forget that all the time so I wanted to remind you lot haha.

I'm noticed this kind of drama a few times, where people argue about a character on where they are on the AroAce spectrum. It's difficult for me to put what I think into words here, but if a character(either canon AroAce or not) doesn't have a canon placement on the spectrum then whatever, go wild.

To help with my previous statement, I'll use SakiK from... SaikiK. People generally agree he's AroAce, yet people argue about where he is on that spectrum(mainly the Aromantic part). Since it's not ever stated where he is on that spectrum(or even if he is AroAce but SHHHSHSHHSH 🤫🤫), everyone has their own interpretation of it.

I believe it should be the same for Balloon, unless Balloon comes on screen and says "I am *insert very specific thing here* " as he points to a picture of the Aro spectrum then its to to you. Obviously, don't make him a sex crazed fiend or constantly searching for love, you eejit, but it should be up to interpretation.

A little off-topic here, sorry, but I wanted to bring up umbrella terms in both the Aro and Ace spectrums(I'm included ace because eh why not! This is for my people who HC Balloon as Aro AND Ace 🙏🙏)

Here are some terms under both the aro and ace spectrums. I feel as though you guys and many, MANY others tend to forget that there are umberlla terms for AroAce. I'll define them below:

Ace umbrella:

Aceflux: someone whose sexual orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the asexual spectrum

Greysexual: only experience sexual attraction some of the time, and sometimes not at all.

Demisexual: An individual who does not experience sexual attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Aro umbrella:

Aroflux: someone whose romantic orientation fluctuates but generally stays on the aromantic spectrum

Greyromantic: Some may feel a strong emotional connection with others but do not desire romantic relationships, while others may feel a weak romantic attraction to some people but not all.

Demiromantic: An individual who does not experience romantic attraction until after a close emotional bond has been formed.

Now, there are MANY more, feel free to add in the replies or the reblogs (o: !

Also, my apologies that this post was very long! Also also, my personal opinion on Balloons arospec thing? Idfk, lmao. TBH, this was kinda an excuse to just talk about stuff I like and am interested in so... 👍I've seen the tweet where one of the people who worked on II said yes, Balloon is meant to be Aro, but I couldn't tell you if they went into specifics about it. Sorry for constantly saying AroAce instead of just aro for Balloon, I felt like it was still important to include all my asexuals out there and educate others about it.

(BTW! Any inaccurate info, PLEASE, PLEASE correct in the replies)

Anyway!

TL;DR:

If a character who is just stated to be AroAce(not demi, grey, flux ETC) and never has their place on the spectrum explained whatsoever, it's okay to have a little fun experimenting with it IYKWIM. As I've stated, we all have our own interpretation of the AroAce character and there's no point arguing about it and getting mad because that's fucking stupid, unless they start actively getting rid of the AroAce rep then burn them to the stakes! /j

I know how wild you mother fuckers can be, so don't shank me please. If you disagree, take a deep breath and remain calm because getting all pissy about this isn't gonna do shit. Try to go about it calmly and reasonably. <3

I'd love to see others' opinions on this, remember to be respectful! 🩵

.

[theamazingmaddyas]

Next week is one of the best weeks of the year, aka, Asexuality Visibility Week, and I love talking about asexual awareness and I also love writing Riordanverse fanfics, so, just like last year I will be combining two of my fave things into Asexuality in the Riordanverse Oneshots!!!

However, I haven't decided if I want to do the same list as last year, or change some up. I have the tendency to aspec-ify every media I like because I can, and honestly, who doesn't love a good aspec character?

My list last year, and the hcs I used:

Lou Ellen Blackstone (homoromantic (lesbian) asexual)

Austin Lake (aromantic asexual)

Reyna Ramírez-Arellano (non-SAM asexual) (canon)

Leo Valdez (aromantic asexual)

Rachel Dare (grey-asexual, with ambigious romantic attraction)

Athena (gods don't use human terminology, but it is written like a non-specified romantic asexual)

Mitchell (homoromantic (gay) asexual)

So, I'd love to hear some input on what other people would want to see!

Here is some boundaries of mine: if a character recommended is someone I don't see as ace, leave an explination and try and change my mind, but most of the gods, like Apollo or Zeus, will not be on the aspec list. I also will not do Artemis, because I do not have enough knowledge on how Rick's version of the hunters and Mythology hunters are at odds, ie lesbianism, and don't wish to disrespect polytheists. Though, I am open to do other virgin gods and goddesses if I feel like I can get info on their myth counterpart well. I'm also open to any Riordanverse series: Kane Chronicals and Magnus Chase included! Additionally, I will also probably not be doing Nico or Will; I have seen people hc them as aspec, but as they both canonically state their sexuality (gay and bi respectively) I do not wish to use them as ace rep during ace week when they are rep for another sexuality. Lastly, Leo and Reyna are being done no matter what—aro/ace Leo is my specialty, and Reyna is canonically ace so it would be a disrespect to not use her during ace week. That should be all, thank you to those who decide to vote!

[mcsm-confessions]

Okay so I know there are other people that hc Petra as bi and posted it here. But I feel like I may have fueled this situation(I'm the one who talked about Petra & Lukas being bi and whispering sweet stuff into each others ear)

I may be over reacting but it just kinda feels like, ever since my ask came up, there has been more asks about her sexuality. Until the first time I checked it out there was only 3-4? Other people saying their opinions and headcanons of Petra. So I was a bit worried but I thought it would be fine. This thing happens quite frequently(which isn't that good actually..) but now theres what? So many people that talked about it all of a sudden and theres a whole tag for it! So I will take the blame. I'm sorry.

But my main point of that ask wasn't sexuality. In fact I don't even have specific headcanons about characters sexuality. Since everyone has different ships and opinions, so I like to just change my mindset. If the artist of this fanart headcanons a character as gay then for that moment I headcannon them as gay. Then the next artist who draws the same character headcanons them as bi, then I think of them as bi. I just think to my self 'oh. Okay, cool' and not think much about it after that. The only reason I said Petra and Lukas could be bi is because I ship those two(which is a pretty dumb reason to use). But I wasn't being serious. If I have to use sexuality to prove(?) it then I had to say something about sexuality and give out a suggestion saying "but. What if they were both bi?". It was mostly meant to be a joke

I don't even know sexuality that well- I'm sorry but I only learned about the concept of sexuality like.. this year. So I'm sorry if this debate didn't teach me anything(I have tried to understand). I mean.. I understand she could be aro/ace. She does have those vibes. I understand why she lesbian, she definitely had those moments if you look at it that way. I understand why people said she doesn't have to be a lesbian, because that's true! The debate on it seems to go both ways

So I'm sorry for the owner of this blog and the people who got annoyed at watching the whole debate going on about Petra's sexuality. And I'm sorry for this getting too long. I rambled at one point...

I didn't mean to cause anything

~~~

Anon, it's okay. I'm not upset with you, and you're not a problem. Your input is very much appreciated.

There was an increase in confessions related to that because people wanted to weigh in with their own opinions on the matter, because it's a very interesting thing to discuss, with very varied answers.

If people don't want to see this debate, they can block the tag #mcsm petra sexuality debate.

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

ok but what do you think of demiromantic hal?? someone mentioned that he's aro coded and it's something I didn't knew but needed it 😭

As someone who is on the ace spectrum (demiromantic and asexual), I really like when people write about some of my favorite characters having the same sexualities as me.

I do headcanon him as demiromantic, and also pansexual.

(Down below is me explaining him being demiromantic when it comes to his feelings and also Barry + Carol...)

HOWEVER, he is... as Ollie says a space tomcat, he takes on emotions much more seriously in my hc. He can do whatever, but when it comes to how he feels romantically it became a lot harder for him to express himself romantically too. <- Trouble with love genuinely but with trying to tell people anything related with love has been a topic for him. Which is also an explaination of the acts that he does for the people he cares about because it REPLACES him trying to explain his feelngs. When you think about it, the way Hal shows his love towards people or showing that he cares comes into a lot of wild acts or making sure that he'll come to the ends of the Earth when it comes to someone. (Like in your post, which I forgot to reblog and add to it :3, in DC vs Vampires, how Hal wanted to rule the world with Barry....) ------ Unrelated but related-- While yes, he does save people, Hal is deepened through emotional bonds both platonically and romantically... (I like to take this literal, as a form of being bonded by lantern ring emotion such as Carol with holding to Star Sapphire and Barry with being expressed by HAL to hold the mantle of hope, because it took years with these two for Hal to be linked with them in some type of way -> Sorry, I'm kinda normal about the bond Carol and Hal have, there's many levels of a relationship that these two have -- Including Barry and Hal together. There's a lot of things to talk about these two.)

This first occurs with Carol. As they grew older (Teen years to Adulthood <- Before JL), it gave Hal time of falling for her. Whether it was those long talks out on drives or opening up to each other about the deeper things. Plus, bringing in the things they face together and the collaborations these two agree on or disagree or OVERALL the way they communicate through different forms when it came to both in suit and out of suit. One of my thoughts for my Demiromantic Hal hc. Not only this but they also have a deep connection together later when it comes the Star Sapphire Possessions + Hal being Reborn in Spectre while Carol has presumably moved on. Although it took a bit to figure himself out, he both cares and loves Carol in impossible ways that could be explained. Which leads me to the next case...

(I had to ramble about them... They are like the best friends ever + including Barry and Iris when they come along.)

Sharing to add on for your post... But this is ALSO an idea I've been having for a fic... But I don't have time to write it ALL because I want to make it to many chapters. Be Prepared because I like when you mention HalBarry to me, I get happy because I don't talk about it to people. I also love to hear HalBarry thoughts because I project things that people don't get much like what I'm about to write..

The way Hal feels when it comes to being in love, is partially dumbfounded, it's something that sets him back when he realizes that there's an elephant in the room. One he describes as longing in a way where he didn't know he felt this fast. When in reality it has been years since this friendship. Yes, feelings for one of his best friends. One that he's been friends with since the beginning of the Justice League formation. Which was long... His hair is grey and the smile that was once without wrinkles now forms lines whenever he smiles or laughs.. In his mind, it feels that the feelings that are coming into play feel dangerous. How it makes his palms sweat just being near Barry. How when he isn't being occupied by anything busy, he's thinking about a fond memory with Barry. How Barry makes him smile, the way everything about his friend just makes him giddy like some teenage puppy love. Something he never got to experience but god, when he's with Barry, he feels so young. That even imagining them growing old together is just one step to keeping Hal feeling so young. It's like being awkward when you have no idea where to put your hands. Especially with a friend you've had for many years. A friend who's been there by his side that Hal now begins to think an eye for god knows how many minutes. The friendship teasing between the two and the playful chases that they would take on those evenings when everything just seemed perfect. How standing on that cliff when they were younger, the intimacy of the stare they held. Their deep connection that brings Hal to appreciate every moment he's had with him. How they're practically linked in color. How hope filled the willpower that settled in his personality. That when it came to Barry, it felt like he might have something to lose. Something and someone he's lost before. He knows what it felt to lose Barry. Which one proved his love for Barry to be a lot stronger than what he first thought when it came to the last glimpse of friendship. How that bond turned into a strong form for what Hal should keep fighting for. It was so unexpected. So unexpected to be in love with your best friend.

[chairteeth]

have u ever explained ur aro-ace hcs for tounemu

Hmm, I don't think I have. They're partially based off of my own experiences as an aroace lesbian as well as those of my partner and other members of the community, which I felt vibed with the characters. The headcanons vary depending on the fic/AU, but there's some general stuff I can easily share, I think. A lot of this is just gonna be vibes and what I believe fits the characters/is most interesting to play around with. Since this is a sexuality rant, fully expect me to talk about the characters beyond the scope of their ages in canon. In case it gets really long, have a readmore.

First, assume a lesbian layer under the aspec layer of the characters. So, let me try Touka first, because she's probably easier to talk about. I like to headcanon her as demiromantic specifically, because I just cannot see her getting crushes or falling for anyone she doesn't already have a significant emotional connection to, but she does seem like she would feel romantic attraction. Only in a very demi way, though. Very "over the course of years of having a close bond" type. She doesn't feel to me like she'd be interested in traditional romance in any way, shape, or form. Sexually, I'm... I'm so tempted to say demi sapiosexual you have no idea. That's because I feel like both Touka and Nemu (especially Touka) are attracted to high intellect, mind you. If I had to say, though, for Touka I'd classify her as a gray-ace. It feels right. I believe that she has this base, very mild relatively "constant" level of it, ssssorta like the allo way, but when she does feel strong sexual attraction, it hits her like a powerful and relatively sudden slap in the face and is only triggered by highly specific things. And also you have to know exactly how to work her, etc. I really, really think it's more about the mind games and stuff for her, that's what she's into. Same for Nemu, but I like doing something a tad different with Nemu, give me a second to rant.

I have many gripes about what people do with characters like Nemu, especially when it comes from people who are clearly ignorant or insufficiently educated on the aroace spectrum. See, Nemu has a very specific set of traits that often make people go "oh I see her as asexual" but attaching that headcanon to these specific traits when you don't even have a solid basis of what that even means grinds my gears pretty bad. Some of these traits are: quiet, glasses, bookworm/nerd, wheelchair user/physically disabled. Fandom culture around these kinds of characters is rancid. And whenever I've seen people write ace characters, it's one of two things: exotic allo or completely celibate. Which is just so far off from reality. The aspec is a lot more varied than people may think, and while being asexual does not equate to being celibate, that also doesn't mean that sexual experiences are the same for an ace person as they are for an allo person. You cannot simply say "oh they're ace but they enjoy sex" and then depict them acting exactly like an allo person, the approach is completely different. And then there is the camp that thinks ace = celibate. Some aces are celibate, some aren't. Don't even pretend libido isn't a completely separate thing too. So most of the time, it feels like internalized ableism, ignorance, the general assumption of "nerds don't fuck" (while this is the case for some, a majority of nerds are freaks) etc., and since it especially applies to female characters, also some level of internalized purity standards or something. Which absolutely maddens me.

Anyway, I see Nemu as grayromantic asexual. To elaborate a little, I feel like through her passion for literature and just how much poetry and how many books she must've read, Nemu feels some level of curiosity towards romance and approaches it from a pretty writerly perspective that would likely only ever work on another weirdo. It feels like she's more of an observer, but although rarely, she does feel romantic attraction, and in a relationship it's like a permanent little warmth in her chest. Not overwhelming, not loud, but like the tiniest ever-present flame of pure fondness. My ace interpretation of her, however, differs from others I have talked to. For example, my partner does understand my interpretation but sees her as gray-ace instead. Now, I see Nemu as completely asexual, but much like Touka, academically interested in the whole... everything surrounding sex and kink. My personal explanation for that one "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Touka" scene in Miyuri's MGS is actually just that, simply put, the girls probably have conversations about sex and kink/fetishes. Not in a sexual way, but in a curious, intellectually-driven way, and that curiosity is what may lead them into experimenting when they get older.

The most fun thing about my interpretation of ace Nemu, in my honest opinion, is how it combines with other traits, like her high libido (headcanon we derived from canon, there are words in the background of Nemu's henshin and they're all philosophical concepts or other relevant stuff except for the word libido, that's where that headcanon comes from and it's interesting, so we're keeping it), her being a Buddhist, or her sadism, or the funny kink we suspect her of having (if you know you know). This is something I tend to touch upon more in AUs by honing her trauma to specifically highlight the issues she already has. Ace + high libido is already a potentially fascinating combination of traits, but when you add the religion thing and the kink aspects born from trauma, not to mention the rest of the trauma? It's so incredibly crunchy to rotate in your brain and analyze and play around with.

I think both of them would enjoy planning outings and the like just because they like planning things and they love quality time. They'd probably be trying to one-up each other often, Touka would delight in finding ways to fluster Nemu I think, and same in reverse, but Nemu does tend to be more dramatic, so she might enjoy the occasional theatrics as part of their little ludus thing. Who am I kidding, Touka "let's explode in a cool pose!" Satomi is also dramatic. I mentioned in my love styles essay that I feel like physical touch is vitally important to them, because of sensory craving and having been touch/affection starved as kids (yk, in a hospital, particularly Nemu), so that is one part of why I think they'd enjoy physical affection, from handholding to sex. The intellectual aspect of the kink experience also feels important. You can explore so much fascinating stuff about a character through their sexuality (general usage of the word, not specifically referring to identities here), and it bugs me a little that most nsfw works I've seen (not necessarily TouNemu), particularly Eastern ones, are just... character assassination galore. From my point of view, I don't understand why you'd ever want to do that, but I can at least comprehend the concept of "this is meant to be fapping material and that's why it's like that". It's not what personally interests me about nsfw, so I tend to stay away from any that isn't produced by myself or recommended to me specifically by someone in the aspec who I trust.

To summarize:

Touka demiromantic gray-ace

Nemu grayromantic ace

Both dramatic enough to pull off romantic stunts for funsies

Both hungry enough for enrichment and/or horny enough to indulge at some point (probably their teens, maybe their 20s if they're stupid enough, I could easily see them sharing a house and possibly a bed for like ten years and acting every bit like a married couple without realizing- this includes sharing a bed because as per new canon info, Nemu requires a body pillow, and Touka is probably the perfect size to be hugged while sleeping), but not the way an allo person/couple would. Being the freaks they are though, you probably couldn't even tell they're aspec as an external observer

[ohwell-itsme-but-danganronpa]

AroAce Club: The Origins

Sini: As an ace person ace Miu makes perfect sense. It's one of my fave hcs as well and I also just find it offensive when people say certain characters are "too horny" to be ace. Like....Ace people can be horny???

we need to start a club, aces united for ace Miu

Ves: sneaks into your house and turns all your ships into qprs while you aren't looking

you are my hero for this

idk how to put that in normal words, I feel unhinged things about this

I need explicitly aromantic ship content and nobody is making it

how many times can I reread Litsu's "Besties but Better" before more fics like that spawn, before I go insane?

I mean, "The Simple Truth (And Other Boldfaced Lies)" has been starting to go in that direction but it's crumbs in 1 (one) longfic that I don't know when/if to expect a next update

Hina: Can I ask what you mean by this?

I mean stories that make it clear characters are aromantic that are still relationship focused, that show how they navigate it

Hina: That seems cool, and I'd love to see this more!! I think I've only ever seen one or two aromatic ones and maybe like 5-10 asexual ones? (I know those aren't the same)

I want to read about characters being confused by the other types of attraction they experience trying to figure out their feelings just as much as I do about ones figuring out they're gay

I want those domestic slice of life one-shots that just don't have the romance in them but still make it clear the relationship is as important to the characters in it

I want to read those settling into a relationship 5+1 fics but about QPR

Clown_Chaoticz: This is so true, man, there's just a few certain things I think do best when presented in the form of something aromantic. Really wish there was more surrounding that type of closeness

Checkers: romance is a really difficult concept for me so seeing qpr and intimacy without romance is very lovely

Clown_Chaoticz: One of my favorite headcanons is that shuichi is somewhere on the aromatic spectrum, probably because I see him as the type to have some sort of feelings for everyone he meets. I saw that and went "HEH. HEHEHEHE". Meanwhile I think ouma is demisexual, or something along those lines. I wish there was something about them navigating something like that

crack treated seriously: actually getting married just for the tax benefits, an easygoing aro couple that doesn't attach much meaning to it, surrounded by supportive but not understanding friends who need to get more chill about it, it's just a formality and a party to celebrate being over with it, please we just want to be able to visit each other at the hospital if something happens, stop talking about children

Hina: Can I ask a question? How exactly does the aromatic spectrum work (genuine)

the range is similar to the ace spectrum, you get the gray, demi and all that

some aroace people use one label because the general lack of both feels like one and the same to them, but I use both separately, cause I have different feelings about those and figured them out at different times. I think I don't get romantic feelings at all, while being somehow hyperromantic (ik the term is almost unheard of compared to hypersexual, but it works the same), while having some sexual attraction left as long as it's impossible to pursue, and being mildly repulsed by mentions of irl stuff/realistic depictions while being fascinated with fiction. It was really easy for me to say I'm ace and never want to actually do anything sexual, while admitting I'm aro is still hard, part of me just obsesses over romance. And I still get sensual attraction on the crossroads of aesthetical and platonic, which is really annoying and sets off the hyperromantic spiral

Clown_Chaoticz: Yee!! Pretty much little to no romantic feelings! But still with the ability to love really deeply, just more on the platonic side of things. Personally I like it for shuichi specifically because the struggle to put people into a well defined "I feel this about you" box is very real. Mostly because I think shuichi would be inclined to search for clear answers, without realizing that his and others people's definitions of romantic are just the right amount of awkward to feel off. I'm struggling to describe it ajskhdshd I'm aromantic! And everyone's experience surrounding that is different sure but the way I can describe it for myself is that I am unable to see myself in a romantic relationship. I lowkey find it unnecessary. I like seeing it! I like thinking about it with my silly fictional people! I do not see it for myself. For the longest time I straight up did not know there was another aspect to liking someone. I thought everyone just picked who they had feelings for I thought there was a step by step process where you HAD to be friends first because there was no reason for you to further the relationship otherwise. So getting friendzoned? Did not understand why people were upset about that. Cause I thought, you have everything you need! Your still close to them!! I understand now the difference but MAN it's complicated.

like, some ace fics imply characters to lack sensual attraction too and be grossed out by kissing, but I am not, and it bothers me, because it's hard to explain it as a separate kind of attraction and draw the line

no, bc when I was pursuing dating I was hell-bent on the have to be friends first too, like, surely you have to get to know them first to be able to feel it, right? right?

Sini: Demisexual Kokichi is my fave and I cherish it. I've never thought of arospec Shuichi but that does make sense… I usually think of Tenmiko as having a kind of qpr or aroace romance. I didn't even know there were Saiou fics like that out there I know there are ones focused on asexuality that I've read, but that's it

Clown_Chaoticz: OHH!! I CAN SEE THIS!!! Tenmiko as a qpr kind of goes hard actually akhdkshdkdj This will be the only way I accept it from now on/hj

Sini: Idk, they're so coded to me- Tenko is such an aroace lesbian. She just admires and loves Himiko sm. And Himiko strikes me as not being the dating type. Like she has her crushes and stuff, she can have romantic adjacent feelings, but if she's getting involved she doesn't really want to do was is expected of her. She likes Tenko but not like that and Tenko realizes she feels the same. They simply have a deep connection : ) Literally gal pals Himiko goes off like, "We're not soulmates, we're soulbonded" and everyone but Tenko is confused on what the difference is

also I made this chart of my hcs, but tbh I could move nearly anyone to a higher tier at any time if I felt like it, any of them could be aspec, and the main reason I didn't put Kaito as aroace is me being a hater, not wanting to share that with him, he has the potential for it, and I could put saiou in any variation, maybe one day I'll write something where one is aro and the other is ace, and they still get into some weird situationship, probably within The Greater Akamatsu Polycule, they're just fascinated by each other, there'd be mind games and Literal Sleeping Together... it'd be great.

[when I shared it in the pit, I said] I need help, how do I hc characters as aro without making them aroace? I need more aro hcs, I am not even sure about Sayaka or Sonia, it was more like I'm okay with placing them there but it wouldn't be my default, why do I not have aro hcs? wtf and I am not much better with ace hcs, I was going to have Kiyo and Gundham be just ace, but the voice in my head was like Why not? Why shouldn't I make them aroace? We can have it all

Hina: I love Aroace Nekomaru

I just think that after having their private platonic interaction peeped on & sexualized by outsiders both Nekomaru and Akane deserve to be ace, she's got more going on but tbh I haven't seen either of their ftes myself so it's mostly vibes and what other people said I am referring to the massage scene

Sini: FR! They’re so chill when it comes to that stuff. In Akane’s case it could be partly due to all the harassment she received, which just makes a lot of her reactions really sad, but she deserves to be ace as a treat. Makes things a little less sad (but also more so sad)

Hina: I've gotten some hate before for headcanoning Nekomaru as Aroace because he's apparently canonically MLM but? I don't know. Based on his FTE's, he's just a really chill person and I think he values the friendships that he builds and forms with people enough where a romantic relationship just isn't something he thinks about for himself often

Sini: Nekomaru can be Aroace and still be MLM…..Idk why people think being aroace means you can’t feel any attraction to any gender ever

Now go and write about aspecs!

[marshmallowprotection]

Kait! Even though happy mightn't be exactly the right phrasing, I'm so happy that you also HC Saeran as being ace! (or demi)

I've always thought that way too, and it's just so refreshing to see somebody who thinks the same way.

And by that I just mean

...'it' doesn't need to be a necessity in a relationship for it to be happy.

Character pairings and ships these days almost always are focused around it.

It just kind of upsets me in a strange way.

But now for me to have played Mystic Messenger and for the first time actually felt a connection to a character

Honestly I kind of dreaded looking up any sort of fan works for what I might find

But I legitimately ;; I almost began to cry when I read your analyses of Saeran.

Because I've never believed sex to be this super ultra compulsory thing for a relationship to be 'whole'

It just makes me so happy that you also believe that Saeran might be the same. Honestly, like, so happy. Relieved, almost.

I would be content forever just to be with Saeran. Just in his company, just doing stuff together. Enjoying life. And cuddles.

Everyone is entitled to their view of a character. As long as they're not hurting others or themselves, it's perfectly alright. I feel a lot of ways about Saeran Choi that can't be contained to a single post since I'm a person who could talk for hours and hours about him without getting bored, overwhelmed, or running out of content to navigate. If nothing else, I am consistent.

When I think about Saeran, I don't see someone who is necessarily invested in the idea of sexual intimacy. I don't think he's opposed to that with someone he loves, but it's not the first thought on his mind when he thinks about intimacy. He wants to enjoy your company for as long as you'll allow, and no matter what that means, he'll be happy and content with it until the day he dies.

You don't need to have sex to have a complete relationship, nor do you need to want it in the first place. Every relationship for someone looks different, while some people value and desire sex, others may not want it, may feel indifferent to it, or are willing to explore it but it won't be the end all be all of their bond. Everyone is valid in what they decide with their partner, and that is their business to keep.

I'm panromantic and demisexual, actually! So, I saw a lot of myself in Saeran from the get-go. I think what he values more than anything is the ability to be with you. He wants to stand by your side and watch a city of clouds float by. That's his happy place. Does he desire more in this relationship? He has you and he couldn't imagine anything else in this world!

But, if he wants something more, or if you want something more in this dynamic as far as sexual intimacy goes, those are things that you need to talk about and be comfortable with before you explore them. Communication is what matters at the end of the day. Talking about everything works. So, respect what you and your partner want together, and find out what works for every person involved.

Sex, no sex, do whatever you want! Respect what other people want out of love. This blog will always be a safe place for aces, aros, demis, etc. Whether you're sex-repulsed or not, you always deserve respect and care.

[variousqueerthings]

okidoki, @elsonambulo and I have been having fun conversations about reading Amanda as aro --

EDIT: this has been in my drafts for months. pre-s5 months, so I probably won’t mention s5 much in here because I cannot remember toooo much rn (I will rewatch it) @elsonambulo I lied to you, I found it and I wrote some more and now I’m posting it-

going through some interesting thoughts that I wonder if exists amongst other people who are aro themselves (I get the same feeling when I hc characters as ace + aroace) of internalised Stuff that makes one feel like that headcanon is somehow “less allowed” than others -- ex. it would be easy to say “oh of course Amanda is now conveniently aro, because then you can have her and Daniel divorce, so he can hook up with Johnny or Chozen or whoever,” and to be clear, nobody has said those things to me!

but those things exist in my head (and they exist because aromanticism and asexuality are considered less interesting in narrative -- too complicated, not dramatic enough, and definitely not normal enough! surprise, it’s just classic queerphobia).

So in honour of saying “fuck you” to internalised stuff, let’s look at why aromantic Amanda is very compelling -- including the idea that... maybe she would have that sort of internalised thinking as well that could stop her from being able to pursue these ideas within herself

Here’s something the ever-intelligent elsonambulo and I talked about (shared with permission):

VQT: considering how gung-ho this season was about the perfect nuclear family, it's just making me even more interested in exploring those cracks! and amanda is such untapped Potential

E: There's just So Much there with her. She is not a traditional wife or mother by any means and I'm sure the writers patted themselves on the back for that and just stopped thinking about it but we know there's more there. She speaks to us jghgg

VQT: it's the mix of how daniel gets the most important moments with sam + presents himself as the family-minded in more personal/smaller-scale ways to amanda's focus on making sure the business continues to run and the notion of what Makes a family and why is it important to maintain it (and what is it maintained on -- is it love? respect? communication? mutual agreement? shared goals?)-- and of course that amanda, while better off than other women on the show, is still full of gaps where her motivations would be, so we're free to invent them!

AND that these notions of "what a woman should do" are so to the left with her/you see her struggling with "performing" marriage and motherhood

E: I will never be over how in making Sam the karate larusso instead of Anthony and in making Daniel an all in family man to contrast with Johnny, the writers almost had to make Amanda the practical go-getter.

And it's clear it's a happy marriage, because the point was that Daniel just kept winning at life. But when audiences get happy marriage + stay at home dad energy + a woman who is, in the end, there to play the role of wife and is therefore not as present as the man, then questions start to come up. Questions like yours about what it takes to maintain a family and a marriage and what a marriage is based on, but also questions on who this woman is and what her motivations and inner thoughts might be.

Because, like you said, she's in the role of wife and mother but she occupies that role differently than others do. So what's the deal there? Yeah maybe she's just "not like other girls" but that's boring ghhjh. Not enough meat in that

First things first, slow clap for that last message!

Secondly, broadly and vaguely perhaps, but reading Amanda as aromantic is simply an incredibly interesting way of queering the text with Intention. I’m under no illusions that the word probably doesn’t even exist in the lexicon of the writers, never mind the ability to compute it into narrative

Amanda doesn’t suffer as much as Carmen in terms of being allowed action and motivation and some internal life, by far. But the creators of the show probably haven’t gone much further than, “ok she’s a little more badass, she’s practical and pragmatic,” and if we were to go a stretch further (and to echo Elsonambulo) there’s also a tie-in to Daniel being a little less acceptable as a guy, because he’s taking on a family-man role

She’s not entirely trapped in the home (like Carmen almost always is) -- in the first couple of seasons she’s in the dealership a lot (a different sort of trapped) and her most emotional moment with Sam happens while Daniel is noticeably away in Okinawa, and then in s5 (which I do have to rewatch) she’s “karate adjacent” which is pretty great, and there’s the babe ruthless moment which, like many things, is kind of a mixed bag for me. 

(“why are they in a womens’ only bar” I ask, wondering if the writers have heard of lesbianism. “why are they suddenly fighting?” “okay but babe ruthless is a genuinely killer name”)

She’s equally practical about the marriage, which is another place to use the crowbar and look underneath for some fun aro-reading. Daniel isn’t putting in the work that’s promised in the marriage and Amanda seems to be calmly moving towards something like a separation, until he promises to make it up and course correct -- the placement of her (dealership) with the narrative about the marriage, can easily be analysed from the perspective of said marriage being equally a business. This not meant coldly -- after all, she is incredibly fond of Daniel and wants them to run these things together -- but simply... practically

So now imagining this practical woman and this highly romantic man -- so romantic that it’s kind of catching and charming and you do wanna just do things to him, and yeah, this is probably what love is, and besides what references does amanda have? that time her parent cheated with her maths tutor and she fucked up that tutors car?

more important than deep, deep emotion of the kind apparently seen in other relationships (dubious, footage not found), is something that works and is good with someone you care about, and also are attracted to! 

- here I note that I know this was once meant to be a much longer text, but it’s been a few months, so much of the thought process has gotten a bit muddled since, but I wanna just post it as-is. the main conclusion is

1. young!Amanda who doesn’t feel the way other girls feel about the whole cute falling-in-love type thing, and is rather just very sexually confident and gravitates towards Daniel’s whole Thing in the way a lot of the guys do, but without the toxic masculinity or Need For Ownership that they seem to have -- but his magnetism, his open charm, his ability to work hard, his honesty-

2. which speaking of honesty, do headcanon a large part of her own private “fuck this whole thing” is discovering he has a secret past of karate trauma that she simply wasn’t let in on, which is Breaking The Marriage Deal 

3. I wonder as well -- in terms of that pragmatism it’s not simply that she’s aro, but there’s an element of some kind of neurodivergency in that. she’ll go for the steps that seem most correct to her, and unless genuinely freaked out (the house alarm going off, Daniel having his breakdown in s5 about Silver, Sam getting hurt), she’s quite cool about most things

4. Amanda slipping under the radar, because she’s simply -- from the outside -- a very confident, capable, heterosexually married woman, and that is the Image she likes to present, but canonically she has this whole side to her that she’s very effectively buried, that may not be as extreme as karate-rivals, but is evidence of her as not this picture-perfect being

5. and so this whole process of karate rivals coming out of the woodworks on Daniel’s side, offers her a chance to think of some stuff on her side, like why she does the things she does, and why she’s in this marriage, and what is important to her about it (and is it this nebulous idea of “love” or is it something more hardy, more pragmatic, more physical -- like a business and kids)

6. not to say her dedication to Daniel isn’t real, but she has to go through what exactly that consists of, and why Daniel matters to her, and also she’s not onboard -- not with Kreese and not with Silver -- until she has real, tangible proof that they’re bad guys who can directly threaten the things she and Daniel have built. so she’s not with Daniel through everything no matter what, she’s with him on the condition that his whole deal is something that can at some point presumably be ended through fighting back. if it were just that Daniel was having a breakdown of some kind, she was ready to call it broke and pack up the kids

7. this might seem cold from the outside, but it just makes good sense. and again, does not mean she doesn’t care for Daniel, just that she’s not in it for the true love, she’s in it for the contract they’ve made (truly truly wonder what would happen if Kumiko and Amanda were onscreen together, alongside Daniel) 

8. Amanda going through this process and maybe wanting to lean into her bisexuality more? just try some things out? if it won’t ruin her marriage, and it won’t ruin her business, and she’s not deemed a slut, then... actually that feels quite appealing? 

9. Amanda’s queer karate awakening deserves to happen is all I’m saying. we already know that she’s just as into it as other characters.... 

10. there’s more thoughts but this is kind of the gist of it all. Amanda isn’t technically closeted, because she doesn’t even have the vocabulary, she’s just aware that she’s in it for other things than is traditionally expected, but she’s not “struggling” per se with her identity, because she’s not even aware of the option

11. you know those middle-aged men that are like “yeah I fucked around with a guy when I was in my late teens/early 20s but then I got married so I’m straight” -- Amanda has those vibes but with women + bonus “and I got married because that’s the thing that’s expected of me and it was the best way to merge my interest in running a business with performing correct womanhood, and he gives good head, so I’m just winning all around. what do you mean he has several men in his past who are obsessed with him to the point of violence????”

[lastoneout]

I started to realize I was ace during this time and fuck was it rough. I had to spend years unpacking internalized aphobia just to come to terms with my identity.

And like I remeber this one post that went around that in retrospect I pray wasn't true, where someone was talking about how they were the president of their college's lgbt+ support club and one day someone who was a cis heteroromantic asexual showed up and they had to pull them outside and tell them they weren't queer and weren't welcome at the club. And like god that post fucking haunts me. Can you imagine being that cruel? The OP was fully painting themselves as a wise community leader who was correcting this misguided straight person and people were fucking patting them on the back for it and talking about how they were so proud of OP for protecting the real queer people from straights like that who want to invade our spaces and steal our resources.

I really, really hope that post was fake because I have spent so much time thinking about that ace person and worrying about them, wishing I could find them and tell them that OP was wrong and cruel and they belonged in that group.

And god forbid you HC a character as ace, that shit was a one way ticket to getting harassed and labeled a homophobe. And that shit hasn't even completely gone away, it wasn't that long ago that people in the MP100 fandom were just being openly and unapologetically aphobic because they didn't like ace Reigen HCs.

I also remember at least one prominent queer youtuber legit saying in a video that they didn't think there was anything queer about being asexual. That shit hurt because I really looked up to that creator, and tbf they have changed, but like that was just par for the course back then. You never knew if another queer person was safe or if they were going to turn out to think ace and aro people were special snowflakes who just wanted to pretend they were queer for funsies and thus should be unpersoned.

And Thomas Sanders basically had his entire internet presence nuked just for saying he thought ace and aro people were queer. Siding with aspecs was legit social suicide back then.

This shit also absolutely went hand in hand with transmedicalism, biphobia, and basically any movement that sought to separate queer people. TERFs have openly admitted that ace discourse was a recruitment tactic, because once they got you to believe one group of queer people was the enemy it was much easier to convince you to hate others. Aspec exclusionism and biphobia were the gateway ideologies, and tbh in some places they still are, that's why it's so important to recognize that TERF rhetoric is more than just hating trans people, they are smart enough when recruiting other queer people to not start with the transphobia.

And god the ace/aro exclusionist stuff really did go right into biphobic monosexual discourse(you can't use monosexual it lumps queer people in with straight people and besides biphobia isn't real it's just misdirected homophobia) those arguments were just copy + pasted from aspec discourse, and then transmedicalism and on and on to the next group. It's always the same arguments, the only thing that changes is the target. This is why anyone who EVER uses the argument that a certain type of bigotry is just a different type that's been misdirected is instantly sus to me. It's always an exclusionist dogwhistle used to try to deny whatever queer person is the enemy of the week a seat at the table.

But yeah, I try not to fault people who got swept up but changed and have put in the work, but it is still heartbreaking to think about how much aspec culture has just been completely lost because of that shit. We had solidarity and symbols and communities, and we've had to start over because half of us are too traumatized to bring back cake and dragons and the black/white rings and the rest just don't know because there's no one left to teach them. And it also sucks to see hateful stuff that was born out of that era still get passed around because the context is gone. It's just...beyond tragic. It really is.

I don't think younger/newer users fully grasp the shit show that ace discourse was around 2014-17

It was so hostile that, to this day, discussions that begin to derail just enough can make me physically nauseous, some specific mockery trigger crying sessions years later. We lost most accounts with any sort of ace positivity. There was no information, no support, and all this damage was done predominantly by other queer people.

All this to say that you, however you identify yourself, should be engaging with aphobic comments the same way you do any hate. We don't sugarcoat or try to be comprehensive with people who are blatantly racist, homophobic or terfs, so why give it a pass just because it's coming from a queer person? I see how this tolerance goes and it's done enough damage as it is.