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#not tagging this because i don't want to get fucking killed
syrma-sensei · 3 days
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Somewhere In Your Heart, Ch.5: A Man's Property.
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Pairing: Soldier Boy x Fem!reader.
Rating: Explicit.
Setting: In the early 80s.
Warnings/Tags: Angst, prostitution, misogyny, power imbalance...
Word Count: 2.3k
Summary: Soldier boy lives through the ennui of his peak, but everything is about to change when he has a shift in his heart.
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When you return to what you call home, you don't expect to get hugged and patted on the back. You don't need either. You just want to be alone and cry in your bed in the seclusion your room provided, wherein you let yourself drown in self pity and bitter heartache. To be in utter bemusement is an understatement; you're still processing the fact that the reason for the shitty life you live is him, and he doesn't fucking regret it. He takes pride in it. You know that much. Sure, he stopped the villains, and saved the country from what they might have inflicted on people, but he seemed to forget what he inflicted upon you and the victims of that incident. He fucking called your brother an obstacle, as if he were a speck of dust.
Your brother was on him. His blood is on Ben's hands, not the culprits'.
You feel bitter bile rolling up your throat. You choke both on it and your tears. Your sniffles are weak and pathetic. Your heart wrings with guilt and self-hatred, for you could still feel him inside of you, for you could feel the sweetness of his touch on you, for you could feel your heart ache for and because of him.
You pull your hair and let out a strangled wail. He fucked you, he claimed you; body, heart, and soul. Your heart is torn between beating for him and being beat because of him.
In one moment he is everything, and in another he's nothing. You love him, you hate him. You want him, you loathe him. Your body ripples with love, hate, sweetness, and bitterness.
You want him in ways you never wanted someone before, your heart raves on for him.
“I won't let anyone take you from me. You have my word for that.”
But his deeds did. He fucking broke his promise before he even made it.
Lies. Lies. Lies.
They're all liars.
They said the criminals killed your brother and set the building on fire. But it was Soldier Boy's order. Jack promised to make you a star, instead he turned you into his bitch. Ben promised to make you his, thus far, you're not sure you don't want him to be lying in the matter, you don't want to be his anymore.
You utter expletives in a hissing voice.
You were an idiot.
You opened your heart for the wrong man. You should've known better than that. Jack warned you about this before, about meddling business with please, about thawing within the inkling of the heart and brains.
You feel a heavy weight encumbering your chest as your heart warps in bitterness.
In your throes of dismay, you curse yourself and your heart for falling for him. You should've never flirted with him at Sonia Vogelbaumm’s wedding. You shouldn't have agreed to sing along with him. You shouldn't have been claimed by him. You shouldn't have heard what you heard. You shouldn't have dug after it and found out the truth; the one who owns your heart is the cause of your misery.
It's been two days since you left Herogasm without a word. You expected he'd come after you and conciliate you, or so you hoped. You assumed you'd get fired from Vought, or so you wished. You don't want to see him again, because you know… you know your heart will betray you and seek the one it throbs for.
Ben ruined you, and for good. It dithers you that you still want him in the deepest of your depth.
You flinch when you feel a hand perch on your shoulder, “Wake up, (Y/N)...” You hear glee in Jack's voice. You groan, stirring in the sheets, then you sit up with an ache both in your head and heart.
You haven't seen him in days, and to say you're not keen on seeing him now, is an understatement. You're in a mess. He won't like it; you just ruined his business with Vought. You're sure he'll wail on you for that.
However, and for some reason, you don't like the bizarre grin on his face as he sits next to you, the remote control of your small T.V. is in his hand. He turns it on and your eyes dilate as you listen to your own voice emanating from it.
Your heart plummets to your toes. Vought dropped the cover song and it's now on every channel. That means one thing…
“The Legend just called…” Jack interrupts your trail of thought.
“What’d he say?” You rub the dried tears from your eyes. Your heart paces up. “He said your collaboration with Soldier Boy has been called off for bad reviews.” You wished he would tell you that. But instead.
“They want you as Soldier Boy's new love interest.”
You gulp hard.
You're doomed.
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When you bailed on him at Herogasm two nights ago, he left no stone unturned looking for you. One moment you were dozing off in the bed you two shared, the other one you weren't. You were just gone. It drove him crazy. The fact you disappeared after the promise he made you. How dare you, he simmered with fury; he took his frustration on the guy next to him. The scapegoat was Tommy. He wailed on the kid until Tessa begged for her twin brother's life.
When the word that you went home reached his ears, he received it in a cold bitterness. His face didn't mirror the way his heart was raging and huddling in the mess in his chest. That bitch. He thought with revulsion. You played him like a fucking stupid puppet. And here he thought he shared something real with. He scoffed. You're a complete hypocrite, a tremendous actress (just like himself) and a whore.
He feels like a jackass for being played like that. A fucking pussy. That's what he was; he let his emotions take control for one second and it brought him no good, it only dumped a mess on both his head and his heart.
She's gonna pay. He promised himself. No bitch can do him dirty and get away with it. He's going to turn your life into a living hell.
Now, with a smirk adorning his lips, he watches you and himself on the T.V. singing Just The Two Of Us. He grins at the applause you two earned. Everyone's questioning whether you two are together or not. The chemistry you two share is hypnotic. Every famous channel is raging with his and your pictures, wondering if there's a chance that he left Countess for you. His fans are keen on knowing it, obsessing over his scoop comment.
“Gotta say, she does look pretty at your side.” Legend comments from behind him, “I underestimated her.”
Ben chuckles, “She is a firecracker that one,” And she sets flames in my heart.
“People are gonna love you two together.” Legend drops another remark, “I talked to her manager…” Ben's molars grit, “He’s more than open to the idea…”
“Good.” Ben replies curtly.
That manager needs to be off the picture, and soon. He'll see to it.
Of course, he will omit Jack out of the way. When he's subtly removed, you'll have nowhere to turn to but him. You'll have nobody but him.
“A non-supe lass is the new sweetheart of Soldier Boy. I tell ya, it'll be all the rage in no time.”
“Oh, that I know.” Ben grins, taking a gulp from his drink, befor he adds, “Speaking of which, that fuckface should be out of the way.”
“It’s not gonna be easy,” Legend sighs, “The leash he has on her is too—Ugh!”
With the dexterity and swiftness of a tiger, Ben curls a stiff hand around Legend’s neck. “She’s no longer his bitch. She's mine.” Ben seethes, “And you'll see to it or I'll take it into my own hands and do it myself.”
Legend's eyes flutter as he chokes, “Y-Yes…”
“Good…” Ben unclasps his grip from the man's neck. Legend collapses on his knees, breathing heavily.
Legend considers the option and he opts to carry on Soldier Boy's wishes, because it's always easier to fire a man than covering up for his death.
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Your pleas and begging go on deaf ears.
Jack practically has to drag you to Vought's tower to offer you on a golden plate for them and him.
“Please… I'll do anything you want,” You try to reason with him, “Just don't let him have me.”
“I’m sorry, doll, but your price has already been paid.” Jack snarls. Clearly, you're playing with fire, “Now, be a good slut and do as you're told, like you always do.”
As you two make it to the main gates of the tower, you dig your heels into the marble. “Please, you don't understand—!”
His hand is quick to smack tingles in your cheek. People passing by, leering at your scene, some of them exchange looks and most of them just… ignore you.
“You will listen to me, you ungrateful bitch!” Jack growls, “I gave you everything when you had nothing. I absolve you from being a cheap hooker who solicits on the streets. You owe me!” He grumbles, nostrils flaring, “You’ll be my bitch until you repay me my troubles, you hear me?!” He clutches your hair and pulls you down, making you wince.
“Security!” A woman's calls.
And in a minute, two guards wrap their arms around Jack's shoulders and unlatch him from you.
You're in a quivering mess on the floor whereas Jack tries to tug himself off of the guards as they lead him out of the building.
“There’s been a mistake,” He chuckles nervously, “I’m Ms. (Y/N)’s manager. I'm The Legend's friend.”
Just like your words hold no value to him, his don't to them.
You watch Jack kicking his feet and screaming as they throw him out of the gates. Through your tears, you allow yourself your lips to crack a small smile of victory. You allow yourself to let the wound Jack has been leaching on for years to breathe.
Just before it's muffled by Soldier Boy in the next second.
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You grimace a tad as the liquid you're swallowing burns your throat, eyes occasionally flitting up and down at him. He hasn't uttered a word since you've been brought to him, which you can't interpret as a good or bad thing. He just stares at you with blank eyes, as if waiting for you to start. But you don't.
“Why?” He says, voice a bit bitter.
“Why what?” You hoarse.
“You know what.” He grumbles.
Of course you know why. Why did you dump me in a fucking orgy? He wants to say, but doesn't. He just fucking stares and it agonizes you. Your eyes brim with tears but you choke on them, locking them in. You don't want him to see you crying. You don't want to be weak facing him. You did once, and look what that got you.
“I don't know what you're talking about.” There's a venomous hint at your tone, but soon enough, the tough façade cracks when he pounces forwards in your direction. His hands clasp on your forearms, fingers wringing your tender flesh.
“Don’t give that shit, woman!” He barks, anger searing in his green eyes like Greek fire, “Why did you bounce on me that night? I demand to know.”
“You don't get to demand anything from me, Benjamin,” You seeth, “That night was a mistake.”
Ben's face falters a bit. A mistake? The promises you two made were just sleazy words that meant nothing? He doesn't believe that. He won't. He can't.
His hands squeeze deeper into your skin and you moan in pain.
“So you want to be that ass fuck’s whore your entire life?”
That's when you deliver a hard slap against his cheek. You instantly regret it; your wrist almost snaps in two from the smack. What's this man made of? Steel?!
You hold your hand closer to your chest, the pain pounding in your joint. But another pain ripples through you as he pulls at your hair backwards, exposing your neck.
“You will learn to show some respect, or I'll snap you pretty neck, understand?”
Tears roll down your cheeks. He's just like Jack. It's the same shit, but a different man. You escaped from hell to another inferno. As an attempt to win his mercy, you give him a nod and a pained moan.
“Please…” You whimper.
“Please, what?”
“Please, sir.”
“Good girl.” He lets you go.
You gasp when you're free of his grasp, shivering at the way he's ogling you.
“Now, I'll ask you again,” He enunciates, “Why did you leave Herogasm that night?”
Because you're my brother's murderer, you piece of shit. You want to say, but instead you answer, “I was overwhelmed; it's not regular for one to witness a supe orgy everyday.”
He smacks his lips, not satisfied with your answer, “You think I'm stupid, dollface?” He quirks a brow, and suddenly comes upon you how handsome he is. Whoever suggested covering his face with a helmet was an idiot.
“No!”
“Then, tell me!” He seethes and you cower backwards which makes him stop. He won't have looking at him the way you look at that fuck. He sneers at himself. Great. His resolve to make your life a living hell is decaying by every second. The tears in your eyes are like acid on his heart.
Ben sighs in defeat, then asks you, more softly this time, “Did anyone mistreat you that you left?”
You shake your head.
Lying. Again.
Ben lets out another sigh.
“Anywho,” His voice regains its stoic rasp, “You’re no longer his,” He speaks, “You’re not Vought’s either.”
He sees something that akin to hope flicker in your eyes, “You’re my property now.”
That gleam is gone.
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🦅 Previous Chapter: Unmasked.
🦅 Next Chapter: Coming soon.
🦅 Somewhere In Your Heart Masterlist.
🦅 Soldier Boy Masterlist.
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Taglist: @thebiggerbear, @zepskies, @deanbrainrotwritings, @deansbbyx, @deans-spinster-witch
@venus-haze, @kaleldobrev, @k-slla, @ketchupjasmin, @demodemo909
@mystic-mara, @jqtaro, @pepsicolacoochie, @bitchykittenconnoisseur, @prurose
@leavli, @robertthehoover, @soldiergrimes, @vanessa-boo, @uddiifiigj...
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bloopitynoot · 2 days
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16
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For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
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Hello! Another day, another chapter!
I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).
let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.
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Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!
It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65
RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66
MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67
Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68
I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68
i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70
this keeps getting worse LMAO
OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72
oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72
wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72
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so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73
Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74
PLEASE OH NO
I AM WHEEZING
+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76
IM DYING OH NO
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????
oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79
Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80
Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81
What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83
Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85
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Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87
reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87
It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90
OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94
SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95
Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97
YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99
Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100
Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103
I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104
I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108
MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50
How many times does this man get kidnapped?
We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)
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pointless-party · 7 months
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DO NOT HARASS ANYBODY BECAUSE OF THIS BLOG AND MY OPINIONS. JUST BLOCK ME AND MOVE ON.
REMEMBER THIS POST GOING FORWARD.
my sideblog for more unfiltered sparklecare thoughts. this is not a mindless hate account, but rather personal gripes i have with the comic and the fandom. i've been a fan since 2020 and the comic has helped me through rough spots, which is why i'm making this blog.
i'm not sharing my mainblog (even though it's proof enough that i've been a fan for a while) because i don't trust this fandom to not witch hunt me so just call me party. i'm 19, i use he/it/love pronouns (the E on love is optional), and i'm a gay aromantic trans man (along with xenogenders that aren't that important).
i probably won't make a lot of posts myself, so any submissions to other sparklecriticism blogs signed off with 🐍 are probably me. if my icon didn't give it away i am a preboot enjoyer and will likely talk about it sometimes, it's been a hyperfixation for two years so block me if that bothers you. more information under the cut if you want to vibe check me or something.
my problems can be summed up in these posts, which may occasionally be updated:
general issues x2
the odd relationship with the fandom
issues with tone in-comic
issues with barruni
nurse mood analysis
gay rep + aspec rep
art degradation
#oft is for non sparklecare related posts
kins; dr party [preboot + reboot], dr cuddles [preboot], president meat [preboot], hemera [reboot]
i like the preboot more than the reboot. i just think it's a lot funnier and dynamic than the reboot despite its many problems that i will admit it has. also it isn't as bad as some of you guys in the fandom are making it out to be, the reboot is just sterilized to hell and back.
i miss sick doom and dr livings. i miss them a lot.
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transmascutena · 7 months
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thinking about how akio sees his younger self in utena and wondering if there's any fondness there. doesn't change the horror of what he does to her obviously but i do wonder
#akio and utena#m#long ramble in the tags sorry:#the thing about akio is that he's so evil bit he's also so human#he has feelings. i just don't know what they are (if anything) toward his victims#he loves anthy at the very least i'm sure of that. even if he hates her too. just like she loves and hates him. the lines are blurry.#and i just. i have to wonder whether any of that extends to utena at all. we know anthy at times feels similarly about utena and dios#(and akio by extension.) the simultanious love and resentment. so it's not too unlikely i think.#like. even though he never had anything but bad intentions in getting close to her#i'm not sure it's possible to do everything he did and feel nothing#not that he has any meaningful amount of guilt or remorse for it. i don't think that.#and i obviously don't think he “loved” her in any of the ways she might have thought he did#but did he not care at all? did he not feel any kind of fondness or sympathy or just. idk. pity? for her?#whatever the case it wasn't enough to reconsider having her killed so you know. how much does that actually matter anyway#idk. i think about it a lot. how abusers are rarely entirely indifferent toward their victims#the role he's playing in her life is so fucked up but it IS a role he's playing and i wonder how much he you know... internalizes it?#how much does he believe the illusion of family that he invites her into? because akio DOES often buy into his own illusions.#(similarly i think it's possible that akio is fond of touga too. their mentor-protégé relationship is horrible and abusive#but that doesn't make it less real. you know? maybe real is the wrong word.)#when he talks in episode 25 about wanting utena and anthy closer that's obviously so he can continue to groom her#but is there something genuine there too? i don't know.#again. it obviously does not make anything he does better or even different. but it is interesting to think about to me.#on the other side of that coin does seeing his own past youth and naivete and desire to do good that he (maybe) once had#reflected back at him through her mean anything?#is there resentment there? that she is what he couldn't be? or more likely he just thinks that idealism is stupid.#either way it's something he wants to take from her. anyway ramble over.#i talk a lot about utena's feelings toward akio (familial vs romantic love and the way the two are intertwined in fucked up ways)#but not much the other way around. probably because utena is actually a sympathetic character whose feelings the show very clearly#wants you to analyze and think about.#which is... less true for akio i think. though he's still a complex character with complex motives. he's just harder to get a grasp on.
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outlying-hyppocrate · 1 month
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well. did you fucking miss me.
#random thoughts#apologies for sounding in such a sour mood. life is fucked as of late.#scheduled post. i made this on 10.08.2024.#everything has just gone to shit. so far i've been eating less than ever. feels like my stomach is eating itself augh (':#(technically the so-called relapse started on 24.12.2023. but we are not unpacking that today or ever.)#and i am filled with this desperate urge to cut myself. really really deep. not sure how to cope with it#i also?? hate how i look??#and yet i spend all my time?? in this dark dark room?? taking pictures of my face?????#i'm not killing myself off just yet don't worry. i considered it but it won't be happening any time soon.#i originally planned on disappearing for twelve days. partly to make my friends feel bad because i'm awful#which. obviously didn't work. as i don't think anyone noticed or cared particularly.#but mostly because i can't fucking handle it. it being everything. my future feels so uncertain#i am barely alive. i love all the people in my life. but they're too far away physically and emotionally.#but yeah. back finally. although ciel disappears for a lot longer than me and if you know hym my absence would be a small stint.#ciel if you're here when i post this i love you please come back. ):#this place is so scary to come back to. i'm not sure why. i'm just. scared.#i'm not even sure if i want to return really. i'm having second thoughts now. i haven't gotten worse enough#and i can't say what that means. because in theory there's nothing wrong with me that's been speculated upon. so.#i don't think anyone would care if i disappeared for longer than this.#but being away is torture. and then again being here also sort of is. it's scary#fuck.#i can't get out of bed without feeling like shit. i don't know if i can come back. i'm so sick of everything.#if you're seeing this i'm so sorry.#I NEED TO CUT MYSELF I NEED TO CUT MYSELF NOW. I NEED TO. I MADE SO MANY PROMISES BUT I NEED TO DO IT NOW#I'VE GOT THE SCISSORS I NEED TO DO IT#I NEED TO DO IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW#(<- tags canceled for now)
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dollypopup · 6 months
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look i get bton has set up some seeds (ba dum tiss?) that polin will be the pairing in the Featherington Family to have a male heir first (and it's popular in the fandom as an endgame for them) and thus will inherit the estate but
consider the following:
they find out about it and go 'ahahahah NOPE' and thus become co-conspirators to get Pru or Phillipa preggo before them. because with inheriting the estate. . .what they really inherit is the debt. and neither of them are eager for that anytime soon
so one storyline is that they're on a mission to get Prudence there first so they're always out here making very thinly veiled insinuations at PruDank and make up excuses and schemes so they're alone with each other. Penelope takes the lead for this particular side of the scheme, but they're definitely in kahoots. like Colin will lead Dankworth to places and Penelope will do the same for Prudence and whoops, look at that, what a good time for the two of you to make an heir and Penelope's there in Prudence's ear like it should be you, you're the oldest, it's your right, wouldn't you want to lord it over Phillipa forever? like the devil on her shoulder and constantly hyping her sister up because please, god, don't let it be her, she doesn't want it to be her, she is a grand total of 19 years old and she wants to fuck her husband consequence free, and she can't do this chastity shit, it's not reasonable, so Prudence, time to hop on that horse! let's up and at 'em, sis
and the other is Colin coming to Albion like 'soooooooo. . .I have to ask. . .how have you managed it?' and he's like 'managed what?' 'to be married for two years and not have a baby. I mean, I'm a newly married man and I'd like to. . .enjoy my wife before we start a family. I have to know your secret' and Albion is just there going 'huh? what secret? we've just being doing it normal?' so Colin's very concerned like 'oh no, what if i've offended him? what if they can't have kids???' and Albion and him keep talking until it becomes clear that, wait, hang on, what do you mean by normal and it finally comes out that the reason Phillipa always seems like she's got a stick up her bum is because she does so he's like 'oh fuck, oh no, oh no no no, i can't be the one to inform him that's not the way to make a baby' ala: 'you are putting it in the right place?' and he's white as a ghost like 'so very sorry, i think i left my cat on the stove, i have to go'
and Colin and Penelope come together at the end of all their schemes like 'well. . .there goes Plan A. . .and B. . .and C through G' as Penelope frantically wonders if she can get Gen to pull Prudence aside and Colin is contemplating which of his brothers he can bribe enough to have the 'So, women have multiple holes' discussion w/' Albion because he refuses to be the one to do it
meanwhile, Portia is out here making potions to try to get one of her daughters to have a baby because thus far, she's batting 0 for 3, and Polin's schemes somehow always end up in direct opposition to her schemes, thus canceling out each time
tell me that wouldn't be the funniest shit you've ever watched on this show
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Ryoshu and Rodya friendship where they sometimes sleep in each other's room when it gets too much in theirs.
When the candlelight in Ryoshu's gets too bright and suffocating with the heat and reminds her too much of the fire her daughter died in sometimes she knocks (more of. just letting herself in lmao) on Rodya's door to literally cool off.
Sometimes when Rodya's room freezes her down to the bone to the point where that she can't sleep, and the stench and sight of her dead neighbors haunts her every senses, Ryoshu gets a quiet knock on her door, and an even more surprising, a solemnly quiet Rodya outside, asking her if she can take a quick snooze here because she doesn't wanna go out and do the night watch.
Something something the only bed worth sleeping is the one right next to you (sad). Fire and ice duo. you get me riht
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i3utterflyeffect · 5 months
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Another fun thing to consider would be if stick!noogai ended up getting captured by victim and they are both so confused by each other.
NOOOOOOOOO THAT'S SO FUNNY.................................. alan!victim has no idea why he's small and also infuriatingly clueless while noogai is just extremely concerned about victim
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hiis-theme · 9 months
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i've noticed there's a slight problem on ao3 of people tagging undertale fanfics as deltarune when there's. literally no deltarune aspects. or only a couple here and there. i feel like that should probably be reserved for undertale fanfics that prominently feature deltarune characters/are a full-on crossover-
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cartoonghosts · 1 month
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genuinely people need to tag triggers. Love all the 'not my responsibility to tag stuff the way you want it' shit but that is for fandom and weird kinks and whatever not LITERAL PICTURES OF SELF HARM AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE like I'd be fine if it was tagged 'tw blood' (which I don't have blocked!! I'd still be triggered as fuck but hey you tried idc) but when you don't tag it at all I have to assume you are actually trying to hurt someone. Yeah I block immediately but thst doesn't change the fact that I'm triggered and the sh urges are back. This is true for text posts too, although I try to block words (I genuinely hate it so deeply when people sidestep other people's word blocks with 'sewerslide' or button mash numbers in the word like. I am going to fucking kill you. 'Oh noo it's triggering to me uwu' bitch you made me actively suicidal for the first time in months. Fucking die. Don't post that shit if using the actual words triggers you). You ABSOLUTELY ARE responsible for what you put out into the words. People saying 'oh ur not responsible for other peoples triggers and emotions' are genuinely heartless and have never felt human empathy. You ain't responsible for how I react to your content, but you NEED to try your best to give people the bare minimum of warnings when you post triggering shit. Look at ur vent post and be like 'hey I'm gonna tag this as tw vent/ tw si' and you genuinely might save someone's life. Probably not but the chance should be enough for you to care and if it isn't, block me. Don't argue, just block me now.
#tw suicide mention#tw sui ideation#tw vent#Tw self harm#Tw sh#I'm just pissed as fuck#And since I'm in a bad mood I want to fucking kill someone violently#I'm trying to find some cute art on tumblr to look at and I get images of people's gaping bloody injuries#And someone talking about viscerally wanting to die#Because when I like and support and reblog mental health discussion and support#Tumblr algorithm then finds me a post tagged with like#Mental health#(Speaking of:)#tw mental health#Or depression#And yeah I get how it can be really nice to vent online and scream into the void I do it myself a ton#But if you aren't in the mental place to tag shit and do the bare minimum to be kind to others#Just save it as a draft#Come back 10 minutes later and add tws#It is genuinely so easy to not hurt people#Why the fuck would you choose to do it#What is wrong with you#Tbh this whole post is a lot more aggressive than I wanted to be but I'm really freaked out rn#And if I don't keep ranting I'm scared of what's gonna happen in general#I know I won't die and I really do believe thst I can keep myself safe for now but fuck it's hard and it would be easy if people were kind#And the worst thing is thst we are#I love people and I love how kind we are to others and I love how almost anyone is willing to be gentle with someone who needs it#So I know that this is a conscious decision to either remain ignorant to just to straight up hurt people#And that's so much worse than getting triggered#It's like I'm grieving someone who's still alive
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bitchthefuck1 · 3 months
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I don't want to sound like a bitch but the fact that a vast majority of the top posts for the bear s3 are about sydcarmy is genuinely depressing. like if the only lens you can look at a show like this through is "is my ship canon or not" I fear you've missed the point
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addictsitter · 11 months
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Chambers (2019) | episode ten: "the crystal organ"
"we know everything about each other. like, i know you're a little depressed and i know you know i'm a little bit gay."
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lorephobic · 6 months
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idk how to even like. put this pain into words and i would normally vent about this shit on twitter, but the person its about follows me on there so like. anybody have skills for coping with the crushing realization that the person u love most in this world and have built ur life around sees ur current situation together as a temporary hurdle that's preventing them from their truest and happiest self which. is separate from u entirely? anyone know how to deal with this?
#live with my best friend in the whole entire world who. honest to god makes me the happiest person alive.#like im always waxing poetic about her in the tags on posts about platonic love#and i talk about her like she put the stars in the skies because for real it feels like she did for me#she is. the most important person in my life#and every day i feel grateful just to come home and sit with her#like honest to god i cannot imagine a future that is better than this#if i have a bad day i get to come home and my best friend in the world will make me laugh#what more could i ever ask for#but tonight we talked and she made it abundantly clear that. even if i do everything right#even if i'm the perfect roommate and the best friend i can be#in just over a year#when she's making enough money for it#she plans on moving into a place of her own#which like. makes sense for her. of course we were going to get to this point.#but i just. don't know what i'm going to do.#and it kills me that we're on different pages because for some reason i thought this was a long term thing#i thought we were going to move into a house together#i was just telling my coworker this week that we need to move into our forever home soon which was partially a joke#but also. even if i was making a million dollars a year.#i would still want to be here. with her.#or somewhere else. with her.#like it's so hard to imagine a future without her. it breaks my heart and scares the shit out of me.#and i know i can't afford it here. and i can't move in with strangers. and i'm working my dream job but i'm scared that i'm going to have t#give it all up and move back east because. i can't do this alone. and she's all i have. and all i ever wanted.#and she's leaving.#she doesn't want to be with me.#sry this is so fucking. ugh. idk. i just don't know what to do.#for real might just drop everything and move to chicago if it comes down to it ksdkfljdfs#its what sufjan would have wanted#fucked up terrible no good week
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wutheringmights · 3 months
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On my quest of watching LOGH, I have finished episode 82 today, and have boo-ed my little hoo out all day. ;_; Thank you again for the recommendation!
You're already in 82??? Christ, it took me forever to watch all of LOGH and here you are powering through
Anyway, sorry that I introduced you to a guy only for that guy to make you suffer. Doesn't just thinking about him make you insane? Don't you want to chew your arm off? Don't you just want to go a little crazy???
#hey hey hey spoilers in the tags so like don't expand the tags to read all these if you haven't watched LOGH yet#anyway I first met yang wenli a year ago and I have not stopped thinking about him since#his death hit me so hard like holy shit. you don't think a shot to the leg is gonna kill him AND THEN IT DOES#you keep thinking julian was going to save yang at the last minute but he doesn't and when he finds out he just LOSES IT#I was sobbing so hard#and the fact that it was on the way to the fucking peace talks#and just. fucking hell#and that's not even getting into how yang's death denies Reinhard his satisfaction of having beaten Yang. After Kirchesis's death you know#Reinhard leaned heavily into beating Yang as a way to cope and felt some kind of kinship with him. only to lose Yang too#and gods. the fact that yang is smarter than reinhard and can beat reinhard because he has thought of all of reinhard's strats himself and#chose NOT To DO THEM because he is terrified of power and what he is capable of?#Yang could have ruled the galaxy in a year if he wanted to but he read history and knew it would destroy him#like the scene where yang was about to kill reinhard only to recieve last minute orders to stop. he could have gone through anyway#everyone on the bridge would have vouched for him but he believes in democracy so much that he complies because he knows#no one person should hold so much power. not even himself FUCK HELL YANG#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YANG FUCKING WENLI#he's just a silly guy. he's a single father. he's a high functioning alcoholic. he's the smartest guy in the room. he has no rizz.#everyone who knows him is obsessed with him#character of all time#me rambling#ask#candlestar#legend of the galactic heroes
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masked-and-doomed · 8 months
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Respect to the song writers for putting out the "ABCDEF– GO!" Real. Lovely lyrics (genuine)
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abelllia · 1 year
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going feral over “shit that isn’t even remotely canon and will likely never be confirmed as such” again (barnabas bennett being an almost-anchor to jonah that jonah willingly threw away)
#these tags are filled with nonsense so please don't look at them i beg#like for your own good#I'M ON MY MAG 92 VS MAG 159 BULLSHIT AGAIN#I CAN'T GET OVER HOW SIMILAR THE SCENARIOS ARE#There's a Lonely guy that is in a scenario that sucks shit because he pissed of a Lukas and now his only hope is his close friend that-#-is an Avatar of the Eye#the only difference is in one scenario the Eye guy wants to embrace the Entities and keeps him the Lonely to observe#and the other the Eye guy is so UNWILLING to part with his humanity and part of that is being unwilling to part with that Lonely guy#or like. literally any other person if he can do something at it#if by do something at it means 'throwing himself at it'#Is it a hot take that Jon and Jonah are pretty similar? it feels like a cold take#Eye guys and all#but I think the main difference exactly that humanity thing and putting yourself before others vs others before yourself#like jonah whole deal is he wants immortality and to do that he wants to stop people fucking him over#to do that he fucks them over first#if he has a problem he's most likely to throw something else at it which is why it's so rare to see him do anything#like gertrude and leitner are big deals because he actually got off his ass and killed them himself#meanwhile jon. fucking JOn is like 'I'm going to throw myself at the problem and you can't stop me'#like he'll use himself as a meatshield first and that's not. a good thing#i don't want to make it sound like putting others over himself as always a good thing#because sometimes there are way to stop problems without fucking yourself OVER jon#it's so bad#anyway what was i saying again#oh yes jon and elias being similar but also opposites via the themes of love and how you value people-#-is pretty cool i think which fits their position of protagonist and antagonist#since like. imo one of the big themes of the show is love and human connection and how important it is to have them#like the show emphasizes anchors a LOT and shows human connections literally warding off the entities. like the big bads.#makes sense imo that that's the big place they differ#like literally anime power of friendship but instead of conquering all it just helps#yadda yadda love didn't save them but it made things better or something
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