#not tagging stede and ed

[something-about-sunflowers]

Can I just say how fucking confused I am at how I went from ‘I love gentlebeard/blackbonnet, I think Izzy needs to die, and I’m glad Jack got cannonballed to death’ to ‘ok but steddyhands tho, I think its funny if Jack was sweet on Izzy, and Izzy probably feels bad about getting Jack killed’ to ‘Jack is alive and coming back to help Izzy and if we don’t get cjizzy endgame I’m killing everyone in this fandom and then myself. I GUESS Stede and Ed can be there too tho. If they play nice.’

Like don’t get me wrong, I’m having a blast but like. How did I get here? Why am I always confused at the directions I wind up taking in this fandom?

[eddiepeaches]

sound on!! bbgirl watching his crush <3

audio pulled from that one bts clip of taika directing s1 ep1

[casebasket]

don't know when we went from queerbaiting to

whatever the fuck this is

but i am so emotionally drained this "getting dumped by my idiot blonde boyfriend" year my dudes

like it's leaps better than before but jesus christ. at what cost.

[stedesmoth]

You're a fuckin' tease, Stede Bonnet.

[whats-mine-is-hers]

*proceeds to create the most discombobulating crossover the human mind could possibly imagine*

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

1.08 / 2.04 - stede being delighted to tell their little gut-stabbed meet cute story 🗡️💕

[kori-senpai]

I have never played smash bros in my life

(Edit: I did a part two ayeee ✨ you guys are persuasive (affectionate))

[azvhaalk]

capt. whiskey dick

[something-about-sunflowers]

More modern au CJ (and people related to him) headcanons cause I should be asleep rn but I’m not:

This is a lot of rambling so under a read-more it goes lmao

Pretty much all of this is stuff I've been rotating in my head for a potential fic involving post EdIzzy, present Izzy/Hornigold (yes, be worried for Izzy lmao), and CJIzzy endgame lmao so some of this I'm gonna skim over cause I don't want to spoil it if I do manage to write any of that lol.

Meets Ed in high school. About 2 years older than him, same grade tho cause CJ got held back and one of them has a fucky birthday putting them above/below the average age for their grade (Ed younger probably?).

Didn't go for college but does follow Ed when he goes cause Ed doesn't want to live in a dorm and they could afford a shitty studio if they room together. They fuckin.

Ed meets Izzy in school and introduces them, Jack falls ass over teakettle, man hears wedding bells when Izzy walks thru the door. He can read a room tho and sees the way Izzy looks at Ed like he hung the moon so he doesn't interfere. They all fuck tho. He 'moves on' when they start actually dating, still fuck tho.

He meets Anne and they hit it off, she knows Jack's gone for Izzy but they like each other well enough. He finds out he knocked her up the same day Izzy tells him he wants to ask Ed to marry him. He has a breakdown, goes on a bender, doesn't really come down from it. Anne dumps him and they go no-contact.

Ed gets bored of college and drops out, buys a shitty run down bar and opens up The Queen Anne. Moves out of his and Jack's place into the apartment above the bar with Izzy. Jack keeps the studio but he's at theirs most often anyway. 'Hires' Jack and Izzy and a few friends from college (Fang, Ivan comes a little later). Izzy drops out too so he can 'help' run the bar.

Its obv a gay bar and its very much not the (late) 10s-20s so they get a good bit of trouble from homophobes. Jack picks a fight with a particularly unhinged one (who threatened Izzy). They leave but they follow him home and try and burn his apartment down. His neighbor calls 911 and he's saved (by the hot firefighter I mentioned in my prev CJ headcanon post lol) but he's got some really gnarly burns. He moves in with Ed and Izzy since his place is fucked and he needs help while he recovers anyway. Izzy does most of the 'help', tho Ed is good at 'distract from pain'.

Anne comes back in the picture when she hears about the fire (she kept in contact with Izzy, who told her). They don't get back together, she's dating Mary/Mark (depending on the day) now, but she DOES care and she figures their kid should be able to know their dad. When Jack is recovered enough he moves out of Ed and Izzy's place cause 'an apartment above a bar isn't really a place you can bring your kid, Jack'.

During his recovery his drinking problem gets worse and he develops a drug problem too (pain killers for the burns). He manages 'functional' for the most part for a couple of years but one day he's supposed to be watching Cal at Anne's place and he's way too drunk/high and Cal gets seriously hurt. Mary/Mark comes home just in time to avoid tragedy but Jack is horrified at himself and Anne gives him an ultimatum.

Mary/Mark (a social worker of some sort) helps him find a rehab and he gets better. He gets a new job (can't stay at the bar if he's trying to get sober) as a mechanic (cause that is also a really good job for him). About a year later he runs into the firefighter who saved him and surprises himself by asking if they can help him join up. They do and he does.

He keeps in touch with Ed and Izzy, kinda, mostly thru social media and Christmas cards (and he ALWAYS calls Izzy for his birthday) but they're not really up to date with each other. He knows they're currently 'off-again' cause Izzy is no longer 'in a relationship' on facebook, and he hears thru the grapevine that Ed's not at The Queen anymore. He doesn't realize that Izzy followed him til he gets a call for a fire at The Revenge and Izzy's the only one on shift (at like, 7am, waaaay past close). This is where THEY start in the fic in my head tho so no more beyond this for them lol.

(Re: Jack and Anne's kid: Calico 'Cal'/'Callie' Bonny. They're 5 when they meet Jack. They're about 7-8 when they have their near death experience. At 11 they come out as non binary (like Mary/Mark). They're 13 when the fic takes place. Jack is in their life but is not their caregiver (tho Anne and Mary/Mark give him weekends sometimes and he watches them when they need it).)

(Re: Ed and Izzy: Izzy brings up the idea of marriage to Ed. Ed is cagey about it. They CAN legally marry cause Izzy is legally still 'female' no cis!Izzy jumpscares here but Ed says he wants to wait til its legal 'as like, solidarity man'. Izzy can't tell Ed 'no' and reasons its at least coming from a good place.

They're never really in a good place in their relationship, Jack doesn't notice cause he's a barely functional alcoholic while they're all living together. Things continue to deteriorate between them. Marriage Equality Act passes and when Izzy brings up getting married again Ed says 'I mean, we're practically married already Iz, don't need a piece of paper to tell me you're mine, yeah?' They wind up being pretty off-again-on-again.

Few years later Ed meets Stede (while him and Izzy are ON-again). Ed hands over The Queen to one of the boys and brings himself and Izzy (and Fang and Ivan) over to Stede's bar The Revenge. He's fucking Stede behind Izzy's back for the better part of a year before Izzy confronts him (he knew, he was just in denial). Ed dumps Izzy. Within the year Ed is engaged to Stede.

The aftermath of all that finds Izzy at Hornigold's bar, where Ed and Jack used to work when Ed was in college but Izzy did not (so he doesn’t really know Ben like they do), drunk and being chatted up by Ben aaaand that's about where the fic starts in my head lmao.)

[eddiepeaches]

co-captain cuddles

[blakbonnet]

well since you don't like yourself, I'm just going to have to like you enough for the both of us

[sixstepsaway]

so here's the thing

i've seen a bunch of people say on twitter and stuff how... ed's behavior is very abusive and his anger is dangerous and he isn't romantic lead material because of it

and i get where they're coming from

but to me the main issue isn't putting ed in the position of a romantic lead, but not crafting the narrative around his characterization so that it allows for a spicy romantic pirates-in-love narrative instead of...whatever this is.

i'm going to try and explain this. idk if i'll do well but i'll try

the way she show presents stede is as an innocent baby who isn't really equipped for pirate life. he goes into a fugue/disassociative state whenever there's any real violence, apparently, and needs protecting by other characters when things get too rough - for example when ed is telling ned lowe not to take the poker to stede.

that's fine! it's honestly adorable to see a masc character being so soft around the edges and being protected by other characters this way.

(i'm not going to touch on stede's... eh... not great characterization this season rn)

then there's izzy, who is shown as a bit violent, a bit rough around the edges. he's more likely to draw a sword or throw a punch or hit someone with a chair or take a punch like a champ. violence is just part of life for him and that's okay, it just Is, from small things like smacking stede on the ass to bigger things like being wall slammed, it's not all that big or bad for violence to happen around and with him, he tends to give as good as he gets (there's some nuance here but i'm talking the macro themes not the micro of what izzy does vs is done to him)

and finally there's ed

ed is presented as violent (stabbing knives at guys, telling fang to use the snail fork etc) and used to a life of violence, and then in season 2 he's presented as really violent, his anger coming out in dangerous and terrifying ways

and frankly, i'd be super into it if he and izzy were the main ship and that twisted dynamic from the first two episodes of s2 was explored and fleshed out into something deeper

friends to enemies to lovers who fight and fuck. angry pirates who lay hands on each other, who break the whole ship with each other in the heat of passion.

except instead, s2 gives us... abuse. it gives us izzy cringing and lowering his head and trying to protect the kids crew from ed's angry outbursts.

so when stede comes back and he's still soft around the edges and ed headbutts him and it's deliberate, it's... not a great look, and the vibes are a bit skewed

if stede fought back, if when ed struck out at him he struck back, if they fought rather than it being one-sided, if it was friends to enemies to lovers and not presented as healthy, but maybe they can work their way there, who knows, maybe even more like anne bonnie and mary read because hey, they were doing something very similar?

except they were both into it. they were both enjoying the fighting and the fucking and the burning down the house.

stede's not enjoying it.

i cannot describe how much i hate this sequence just because of the way stede flinches

anne and mary don't!! mary jumps at the unexpected bang but she doesnt flinch, she doesn't cover her face like she thinks the vase will be coming for her not the wall and anne? looks so into it

and the thing is that in real life, no, you don't want to date someone who throws shit around, or headbutts you

but in fiction when it's two fucked up people doing this shit together like anne and mary?

that can be fun.

but instead what we've been given is stede flinching and apologizing to ed and then all of ed's...what, semi-redemption???? is done away from the other collection of people he abused, and then he spends some time on a fishing boat wearing a dog collar and everything is fine because he's good now and won't be doing anything bad ever again

and it's just... poor writing. the vibes are rancid.

i spent a really big chunk of time between s1 and s2 defending ed. i kept saying how what he did to izzy by making him eat his toe wasn't abuse, it was a one-off and abuse isn't a one-off thing it's a pattern, and then s2 made it a pattern.

explicitly. explicitly a pattern.

not just one toe but three.

jim saying "you're in an unhealthy relationship with blackbeard"

and all ed offered izzy was a "sorry about your leg" which might've been fine if izzy survived and they could work on this more, but instead that's all the apology and closure izzy will ever get

ed threw a chair and a vase and made stede flinch in fear and stede was right to do that. what part of any of this implies this will never happen again? that stede won't press the wrong button at some point and be on the receiving end? none of it

and if we'd been presented with a s2 stede bonnet who could handle himself and stand up for himself and fight back, then maybe i could imagine that turning into a weird sexy fucked up anne/mary like thing and maybe that could be why they put that episode in, but instead it feels like that episode was going, "look, see, ed's violence is fine because these two are fine with it with each other"

but stede isn't

ed and izzy or ed and stede in an unhealthy battle of a relationship could be such a fun, interesting and downright sexy thing to watch unfold on tv, and could honestly end somewhere far more down the chill end of the spectrum, but that's not what we've been given here

i cannot argue that ed isn't an abuser anymore, and not just of izzy but of the whole crew. he terrified frenchie.

it's not good writing to try and lean into the idea that ed and the pirates are violent and live a life of violence, so it's okay that ed's been violent, while simultaneously presenting his violence as traumatic and abusive, and then less than three episodes later saying oh it's fine now, he's just a little meow meow who can do no wrong, see?

especially considering they had him murdering people at the end of the season. and sure, you can say the english are just cannon fodder and they dont 'count', but they did before. ed explicitly did not kill before, and that included the english, or the spanish, or anyone else. so either they count or they don't, but flipping him on a dime makes no sense.

ALSO

having ed be the son of an abusive man who threw plates at his mother and made her cringe and then having ed kill his father to protect his mother and then a season later having ed become the kind of man who throws chairs and vases and makes his love interest cringe is, again, not bloody optimal

i want to say again i dont CARE about tv always presenting healthy relationships or tv always giving us aspirational goals. i want messy fucked up dynamics and terrible people making terrible choices, and still, to this day, i fucking love ed teach. i would honestly love to have seen them continue with ed's darkness and bring stede into it and see where they went with that, to have stede kill ned lowe and not just bury his feelings in ed but get off on it, enjoy the violence, and see where that led, but no

and so instead all we end up with is a protagonist who is being set up for a lifetime of abuse from an intimate partner, and a romantic lead who abuses his love interests (and yes. izzy is a love interest, he is set up like one and positioned like one and treated like one), frightens his love interests with his violence, is erratic and most of all inconsistently written. he was so sorry about scaring fang as though he hadn't been deliberately terrifying the whole crew for fuck knows how long? what?!

the whole fandom has spent so long saying, "no no, i know stede bonnet irl was a slave owner, but ofmd is using the names and not any real piracy, it's more disney piracy, you know? so that kind of stuff doesnt exist!" and then they flipped around and went "blackbeard is blackbeard and so he is evil and does all these horrible things" and i dont know how to rationalize the two sides of that because it feels so out of place

i'm getting rambly, this isnt a particularly well constructed thought process, i just feel like we were robbed both of a toxic, violent relationship that could be fun to see explored on tv and a soft and sweet love story between two middle aged men exploring their first loves in one fell swoop and there's no way for s3 to bring either of those things back because they got utterly torpedoed by making ed a horrible person

ugh

[elwynnie101]

OFMD 2 SPOILERS -

Because i am very autistic(tm) about both Hans Christian Andersen and OFMD 2 I need people to understand how much the ending of episode 3 means to me.

The Little Mermaid is a classic fairytale, a fantasy, but a tragedy. The mermaid doesn't get loved in return and instead kills herself. The story is also an allegory for homosexuality/queerness and the unrequited love it comes with as Hans himself was queer and in love unrequitedly.

When Ed tries to kill himself by throwing himself to the sea, just like the little mermaid, believing he is unloveable, in his last moments hears the love of his life, another man, begging for him and appears to him as a mermaid.

ARE WE CONNECTING THE SAME DOTS HERE???

He is reborn into a world with the man he loves with the vision of a mermaid, and the acceptance of love and hope.

I'm gonna go cry again now. Mr. Jenkins i am canonically in your WALLS.

[somelokivariant]

IM SCREAMINGGGGGGG

[babykittenteach]

Went ahead and colored my response to @cahootings from here. Personally I do like the scenes in 2.4 and 2.8 as they are, so consider this at some other point I guess? Ed overreacting to some issue with the inn or something, lol.

[mostlarkly]

braidbeard hehehhahauaggaghu

(full mini comic has been posted)