#not sure it's gonna go over very well
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cleolinda · 2 years ago
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Varney the Vampire: A Preface
I want you to think back to what it’s like to reread your old work from years ago—your old stories or poetry, your old school papers, or even your old tumblr posts. Sometimes you’re actually kind of pleased, sure, but I want you to really go back and locate yourself in the heady cringe of that feeling.
In related news, I'm going to pick back up with the Varney the Vampire recaps I started in late 2010 CE. I got about nine chapters in, and then something, who knows what, derailed my life, as things tend to. Like, I'm used to this, it happens with the regularity of a lunar cycle. But I like writing about vampires (clearly), and since I feel like Dracula has been tread pretty thoroughly in recent times, I figured I might go back to something different; we had some lively discussions about Varney back then.
But 2010 was a time before A Lot of Things happened. I was in my early 30s at that point, so I won't say, "Oh, I was so young," but I had a very different energy as a blogger 12-13 years ago. So I've decided to rewrite the recaps a little—some more than others, some not much at all. I just feel like I have a really different perspective on the first chapter in particular, in 2023.
As before, I'm using the full, unabridged text. It is hideously long, something like 230+ chapters, but go big or go home, I figure. The thing is, I was using the files hosted at the University of Virginia, and now you can only get those through the Wayback Machine, but they are still usable for now. I have various backups saved, but I do want you to be able to see that I am, as ever, Not Making It Up.
I'm also not going to quibble anymore as to whether James Malcolm Rymer or Thomas Peckett Prest wrote this behemoth. Per Wikipedia sources, scholars seem to agree that it was all or mostly Rymer. When it's mentioned that they figured this out based on his dialogue style, I went... yeah, that checks out. Because it sure is A Style, and I'll be honest, the repetitive filler dialogue in chapter 10 was such a speedbump for me that I just threw up my hands and said, "I don't know how to recap this. Something I can't remember now is going on in my life and I Cannot. I no longer Can."
Well, it's the 2020s and we're gonna. Like I can't tell you how much stress I do not have about this. I've had covid three times and also spinal surgery. Varney the Vampire can no longer hurt me.
To start, this ordeal has a preface—apparently written upon the occasion of collecting the serial into book form—wherein The Author expresses his gratitude for "unprecedented success of the romance of Varney the Vampyre." First off, Rymer uses "vampire" and "vampyre" interchangeably, because fuck me for caring about consistency, I guess. Second, as Wikipedia notes,
It first appeared in 1845–1847 as a series of weekly cheap pamphlets of the kind then known as "penny dreadfuls." The author was paid by the typeset line [YEAH, I NOTICED], so when the story was published in book form in 1847, it was of epic length: the original edition ran to 876 double-columned pages and 232 chapters. Altogether it totals nearly 667,000 words.
For comparison, all of Lord of the Rings plus The Hobbit is 576,459 words. I sure do blanch every time I see those numbers! It's fine. We're gonna be fine. Back to the preface:
The following romance is collected from seemingly the most authentic sources, and the Author must leave the question of credibility entirely to his readers, not even thinking that he is peculiarly called upon to express his own opinion upon the subject.
"Seemingly" is doing a lot of work here.
Nothing has been omitted [for real, nothing down to the tiniest fly-swat has been omitted] in the life of the unhappy Varney, which could tend to throw a light upon his most extraordinary career, and the fact of his death just as it is here related, made a great noise at the time through Europe, and is to be found in the public prints for the year 1713.
I've seen more than one Dracula multimedia art project where people recreated the letters and diaries and recordings in the book (have you heard my whole thing about how Dracula actually was a cutting-edge techno-thriller back in 1897?), but I've never heard of anyone creating ARG-style media for the Totally for Actual-Fact Real tale of Sir Francis Varney the Vampire, and I think it would be hilarious if someone did.
I won't belabor the entire preface, but what I do want to touch on is Rymer's mention of "unprecedented success." Varney is actually standing on the shoulders of a vampire giant, and it's not the one we would think of. Nowadays, our big touchstone—the influence so great that most works either evoke it or take the trouble to say "Our vampires are different"—is Dracula, obviously. Which was published exactly 50 years after Varney, in 1897. But Varney's touchstone is Polidori's short story "The Vampyre" (1819). And for most of the 1800s, this was everyone's touchstone. Per Wikipedia (which I'm going to lean on for how concise it is, but I concur with this from my own research as well):
An adaptation appeared in 1820 with Cyprien Bérard's novel Lord Ruthwen ou les Vampires, falsely attributed to Charles Nodier, who himself then wrote his own dramatic version, Le Vampire, a play which had enormous success and sparked a "vampire craze" across Europe. This includes operatic adaptations by Heinrich Marschner (see Der Vampyr) and Peter Josef von Lindpaintner (see Der Vampyr), both published in the same year. Nikolai Gogol, Alexandre Dumas [note: I have the Ruthven play he wrote around here somewhere] and Aleksey Tolstoy all produced vampire tales, and themes in Polidori's tale would continue to influence Bram Stoker's Dracula and eventually the whole vampire genre. Dumas makes explicit reference to Lord Ruthven in The Count of Monte Cristo, going so far as to state that his character "The Comtesse G..." had been personally acquainted with Lord Ruthven. [...]
In England, James Planché's play The Vampire, or The Bride of the Isles was first performed in London in 1820 at the Lyceum Theatre based on Charles Nodier's Le Vampire, which in turn was based on Polidori. Such melodramas were satirised in Ruddigore, by Gilbert and Sullivan (1887); a character called Sir Ruthven must abduct a maiden, or he will die.
Back when no one gave a shit about copyright, Polidori's work was spun out into a cottage industry of knock-off stories and plays, an entire horror zeitgeist. Lord Ruthven was, for 78 years, who you copied, who you riffed on, who you parodied, what Count Dracula is to us now: the archetypal vampire. The Big Guy. And Varney is clearly cut from his cloth—the ostensible gentleman who worms his way into the lives of respectable, unwitting people. Unlike Dracula, there's no foreigner Othering, no "historical basis," no undercurrents of contagion and infection, no ambition to make the world his wine-press, none of that; Ruthven is a simpler figure, but the dominant one of this time no less. He is a stranger who shows up in the middle of London high society, icy and distant, his eyes “dead grey”—stern, yet somehow compelling when he cares to be. And when he cares to be, you're in trouble.
And this is the cultural consciousness when Francis Varney shows up.
[Chapter one will go up sometime this week, March 8-10 or so.]
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throwawayasoiafaccount · 3 months ago
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Why do you think the tides have slightly turned from "Elia deserves better than Rhaegar" to shipping her and Rhaegar together? Like what is the psychology behind these people because I've seen some of them like/reblog anti Rhaegar posts while also shipping Rhaegar x Elia at the same time.
hey anon! my thoughts are a bit messy, but i’ve done my best to explain them coherently :)
so, rhaegar was the best man anyone could have when elia was alive, and most people want the best for their favs. he was considered the most handsome, didn’t have a bad personality, and he was crown prince—meaning elia was almost queen, which is often seen as the greatest role a woman can have. the narrative also treats rhaegar as a beautiful, tragic, haunting figure, and elia actually had this very aesthetically pleasing man all to herself at one point! she was married to him, had children with him, and her life was so close to perfect! but rhaegar just had to go and ruin it. 😠
for many elia stans, if rhaegar hadn’t fallen in love with another woman (they want him to have been a completely different character), then everything would’ve been perfect, and elia would’ve had the best, most desirable life. however, that’s not what happened—elia met a very tragic end, and as a result, these stans feel double the bitterness. because of this bitterness, they blame rhaegar for everything (even though it’s not logical to do so), but he’s just too ‘perfect’ to let go of. so, for years these stans have made rhaegar revolve around elia, filling his tag with posts about her out of bitterness. so, i do believe that this obsession with rhaegar x elia has always been there, but i think it’s become a more favorable stance on the elia stan side of the fandom because of a mix of reasons.
plus, rhaegar is one of the few canon relationships we know elia had, since she’s not much of a character. because of this, and the fact that most people don’t like to stray too far from canon, most elia stans are forced to focus on rhaegar, which has created an echo chamber. basically, if a sentiment about elia and rhaegar’s relationship becomes popular, then the whole elia stan side of the fandom will likely regurgitate the sentiment. (also, this desire to stick close to canon is likely why the elia x arthur ship was so popular. while it’s a total crack ship, it had good aesthetics, and since elia and arthur at least knew each other, it allowed the stans to create their perfect fanfiction whilst sticking it to rhaegar. but remember, elia was actually married to rhaegar and had children with him, so while arthur is cool, rhaegar was always ‘top dog,’ meaning arthur would never be able to match up to rhaegar to most elia stans. also, the arthur x elia crack ship is likely her second most popular ship, which just shows how little elia stans have to work with, so they’re always forced to eventually return back to rhaegar for a lot of things.)
however, even if the elia x rhaegar ship gains more popularity, these stans will never stop hating rhaegar because he wasn’t ‘perfect’—and he wasn’t perfect because he didn’t love elia. plus, rhaegar loving another woman and supposedly kidnapping her is what began the war that led to elia’s tragic death. that’s bitterness times 1000. and while i don’t actually blame rhaegar for the war, i do think that this is how an elia stan sees it. i also don’t view rhaegar’s complex relationship with elia as a bad thing—it’s actually a very realistic take on an arranged marriage between two decent people. but most elia stans will never be able to get over the fact that they almost had everything, which is why many have it out for lyanna, as they consider her a thief who ruined their ‘perfection.’
tbh, that might be why so many elia stans are so obsessed with the idea that rhaegar only got with lyanna because of the prophecy—they don’t want to believe that rhaegar actually loved a different woman and not their perfect self insert elia. that’s a bit mean of me… but i don’t know what else one would call the ‘elia’ elia stans have created.
now that i’ve laid all those thoughts out, i’ll try to explain why the tides seem to be turning… i think it may have something to do with the ‘targaryens are all evil and bad’ sentiment losing popularity. i think this shift has occurred due to a mix of factors, such as years of fandom fights and fandom cycles leading to the targs being more liked now than before. it helps that canon doesn’t actually condemn the targs/favors them quite a bit, and the influx of new targ fans from HOTD has also contributed. this combination of reasons seems to have shifted the way the mainstream fandom discusses all the targaryen characters, including rhaegar. so, with this shift, it’s only natural that some elia stans/elia x rhaegar shippers—who’ve always been there—are using this opportunity to push their agenda. while these stans still hate rhaegar and see him as the bad guy, they just can’t let go of him. and as the mainstream fandom moves away from the anti targaryen sentiment, these smaller corners of the fandom, which tend to be echo chambers, are also affected, which has therefore led to a rise in rhaegar x elia shippers and the ‘shifting tide’ that you’ve also noticed.
#‘if only rhaegar did this’ is a very common sentiment amongst elia stans#most stans have always had the ‘if only’ mindset#‘if only elia survived’ easily leads to ‘if only rhaegar didn’t run off with his whore’ as the targs become less hated#it’s kinda a pipeline? rhaegar anti plus elia stan leads to rhaegar x elia shipper who still hates rhaegar#another reason that a lot of this happens is because elia and the martells plus dorne are the good ‘others’ a person can like#while the targaryens are the ‘bad others’ one can safely hate as they’re white & have a bit of demon symbolism + come from an ‘evil’ empire#the targs also ruled over everyone so a lot of fans like pushing all the blame onto them for all the problems#however the targs are cool and they’re hot af and being royalty is the best! so they’re the ���bad others’ one can safely hate#but people still want their aesthetic and want their favs to have what the targs had. all the cool magic + the aesthetic + danys monikers#so people can convince themselves that it’s okay and logical and right to hate the targs but most ppl will still connect their favs to them#of course… things have been shifting in the fandom which i’m very happy about#and all of these sentiments are combined and compressed when it comes to rhaegar and elias relationship#so any big shift on how the fandom views the targs will always affect the way rhaegar and elias relationship is viewed#it just so happens that the targs aren’t the evil dragon nazis anymore so it’s kinda okay for elia stans to ship him with her#i’m not gonna go through my tags and make sure they make sense so i’m simply hoping for the best#anyways… i hope i didn’t digress too much. i just found this shift so interesting so i couldn’t help myself#asoiaf fandom critical#anti elia stans#rhaegar targaryen#anti rhaegar x elia#house targaryen#valyrianscrolls#pro rhaelya#lyanna stark#rhaegar x lyanna#anon ask#thanks anon this was a fun topic to cover#i recently found a really old post about both elia and lyanna and boy… it was quite discusting to read#elia stans kinda cycle from ‘elia deserved better x crack ship with shallow aesthetic’ back to elia x rhaegar while shitting on rhaelya#just know that rhaegar is always the bad guy to them! the sentiment on lyanna will go from hot to cold but rhaelya is always bad as well!
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vaguely-concerned · 1 month ago
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I've been picking mostly only the essential flirt options with lucanis in the romance so far (I've personally found the dynamic much more natural and mutual when you do that, more like forming a solid friendship slowly and inevitably becoming something else and less like you keep pushing on him and getting little back b/c he seemingly just gets overwhelmed and goes into freeze instead), and I think rye is a pretty hard person to read at the best of times even though he's been Down Real Bad from pretty early on and their chemistry as people is naturally really good. so the way the almost-kiss plays out in this playthrough feels a lot like it has the added layer of lucanis realizing that no but for sure rook is flirting and not just being kind or a good friend* it IS actually happening it's not just wishful/fearful thinking!!! and then uh. maybe going a bit too hard a bit too fast in all the excitement at that revelation haha
*in lucanis' defense he has seemingly literally never had a friend who wasn't his cousin-brother before, under those circumstances I suppose some confusion is extremely natural if not outright expected lmao
#meanwhile rook is kicking himself for being unprofessional b/c he WAS getting something important from spite there#and also lucanis had like. just woken up was that cool of me. should I have told him. should I have slowed that down???#watcher's duty crashing into watcher's longing blues ensues#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#oc: Ellaryen Ingellvar#rook x lucanis#rookanis#I think I might have done something hilarious and a little wonderful to the lucanis romance#by making a rook who's even slower to romance than he is fhskjfhsa#even here I was straight up like 'oh this is a little early for this don't you think' on rye's behalf (it's not we have to be mid-game)#imagine how he'd fare in some of the other romances you'd just bowl him over. davrin might kill him#(and also they would kill each other for unrelated reasons during it but that's another matter (affectionate I love my lads))#lucanis has been squinting at rook in stolen moments ever since the café scene like '...did I imagine that vibe. surely not right.#i'm pretty sure. but am I. I do know he likes me. but DOES he like like me or is that just what I want it to be. this is very embarrassing#for everyone involved' (it is)#davrin has had both their numbers the entire time tho. and been extremely annoyed but professional about it#he knew from the moment these two chucklefucks showed up in his recruitment mission. and has been an adult about it. mostly#even when they've made it real hard ('so I'm gonna go ahead and assume you're not letting the abomination serial killer run around#just because you're transparently excruciatingly sweet on him. right. RIGHT??')#I have accidentally given lucanis a pattern of falling for people who keep covered neck to toe at all times#but like not to be a metaphor for their emotional intimacy issues or anything haha. imagine.#I'm making my own heart so tender by imagining lucanis struggling to get rye out of his (many-layered) robes during the romance scene#and both of them laughing right from the soul in relief and delight at each other b/c like 'how could I kill a god only to be bested#by nevarran fashion. also how in the maker's name do you get dressed so quickly in the mornings this is intense'#'same way one does anything else lots of practice and a can-do attitude'/'well I'll just have to put in the practice then'#and they just hug for a while. *head in my hands* yeah okay I can be normal. I can be normal about this.
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deoidesign · 5 months ago
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Hello! I just discovered your blog and I immediately became captivated by your webcomic, but I'm unsure where to read all of it. I know it's on Webtoons, but I can see it hasn't been updated for a while, and you still post about it.
Are your physical novels just prints of the webcomic? Are they a continuation? Is the story complete? Thanks in advance!
Hi there!
Glad you found me and are enjoying my comic!
It's only on webtoons, and the story is not complete yet! We're 2/3 of the way through right now. It's currently on hiatus, and it's scheduled to come back in about 2 months!
I'll explain why it's been so long if you're curious, but also for my followers who might also be wondering about it under the cut. Sorry, it's pretty much just me complaining haha
I took a month off I took 2 months to get the books printed I took a month to prepare my next comic and I took 2 months to write the rest of the series (I knew the character arcs I wanted, but not the time periods or mysteries!!!) I've been working on actual episodes since then
I had to take some time off because of some pretty extreme burnout due to the sheer amount of work it was to draw over 800 pages and write 6 complete stories in a year and a half... I was getting sick almost weekly due to the overwork, it was really really bad honestly. I was having to work 60+ hours every week just to keep up...
The nature of the comic itself is also difficult... Each of the arcs is a complete, self contained story which can be read (ideally) without context, and my arcs need to be about 10-13 episodes each... And since I have an exact number of episodes to work with, it's even harder.
It takes a ton of planning and a ton of refinement, and working week to week with no breaks I was forced to put out second or even first drafts, so I just wasn't happy with the work I was doing... And to do that for the rest of the series? I wouldn't be proud of the work I did.
Plus... To be entirely honest, webtoon has treated me quite badly IN MY OPINION... They deprioritized me before I launched (I had to beg for more promotion, I'm not exaggerating), they outright denied me the opportunity to even ask for a raise, I don't make any money on fast pass and they pay me less than my partner makes working at trader joes. My first editor left me completely hanging, my second editor (who I loved) was fired... And they told me I wouldn't get a third season before my first season even finished. So it was just repeatedly completely demoralizing.
I'm sorry it has taken so long, it'll have been 10 months by the time I come back. But I realized... I won't get promotion either way. I won't get more episodes either way. I won't get more money either way. So to finish everything, to make it feel good, to make it something I'm proud of, I chose to take longer to make it better.
I am fully aware I will lose a significant amount of my readership for this and it might genuinely affect my career moving forward. But it's what I had to do! So I'm sticking to my guns on it, and I'm confident long term it'll be worth it. It never could have been this good if I didn't take this much time.
#asks#steakandpeanutbuttersandwiches#I'm SO sorry youre new and you asked me such a benign question and I responded with... this... LMAO#I swear to god I tried to make it as short as possible#theres just a lot auauuaghkhgjk#basically. way too much work. not enough money.#so it either is gonna be good and take longer or be worse but come back faster#and I chose to take longer#so.#I'm really sorry and I wish that this decision didn't also come with the... pretty much guarantee that it will negatively impact my career.#I will lose readers. I will lose potential readers for my future work. it looks bad on me as a creator to take such a big break. etc. etc.#but it's good. it's so good. you have to trust me it's like the best stuff Ive ever written#it. ok well to be honest#it'll probably feel extremely simple and extremely natural#but it's been SO much work LMAO#I am not exaggerating I have written over 200 pages of scapped ideas to get to where it is#I'm sure it won't make sense why it took so long while reading but you gotta trust me LMAO#ideally it doesnt even 'feel' different right. cause its gotta be cohesive with the whole thing#but there is SO MUCH TO WRAP UP#THERES SO MUCH#and to make that feel natural in this little space oh my GOD it is so hard#ok omfg I'm doing it again I'm going on way too long again IM SO SORRY#YOURE NEW HERE AND IM DOING THIS IMMEDIATELy#this is like 90% for my followers who I know are curious about this and I'm just using you as a jumping off point to talk about it#cause I don't really like to make standalone posts very often#I likely will make some kind of official announcement about it when the date is extremely set in stone#right now I think it's still only tentatively scheduled so it could still change#and I'll say something more... refined and restrained... then.#but for now this is like. actually everything. I think#I'm sure I forgot something but whatever lmfao
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skunkes · 3 months ago
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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local man haunts (me) open practise yet again more news at 11
#txt#what an experience#i didnt go alone this time which means shenanigans heightened by 20#and by that i mean we were by the glass drinking mate (that security thankfully let us bring in)#and ___ kept going (lifts mate up to the glass) quieres? to all the players that skated by#and i had to just go STOP THAT#and they went they dont want our mate hmph what do they know about mate and i went. well thats the thing. they dont 😭😭#theres was a bunch of kids next to me which meant a lot players over to our side and ekky trucked over#and knocked the glass w his stick on a driveby and scared the shit out of me I ALMOST DROPPED MY MATE he had this shit eating grin#maffhew also kept doing little toodle-loo waves at the kids behind him it was so cute 😭😭😭#but anyways i think its so funny ___ kept focusing on ekky too and i didnt realise why until they just drop the bombshell of#“they remind me of your brother” and i went “DONT FUCKING SAY THAT WHAT THE FUCK MAN DONT SAY SUCH SACRILEGE”#the rest of the convo was in spanish and i dont know how to like fully convey 🇦🇷 banter in eng but it roughly went#“no he does. he has the same dumb face when he starts shit (because he kept bodily bumping into boqy and forsy)#the same 'was that me? did i do that?' troublemaker face. hes a shit stirrer but never answers to it. hes sleazy in that way.#he has the same beard too dont you see it“#and then i promptly spent the whole time going god he is just like my older brother oh this is a horrifying revelation oh god#anyways they kept saying look at his dumb face look at it just like your brother the whole time in spanish when he crept near#and i had to go SHUT UP PLEASE HE CAN HEAR YOU to which they snorted and went you said its fine if we spoke spanish here theyre not gonna#understand us and i was like OKAY BUT IM SURE 11 YEARS HERE HES GONNA PICK UP#SOMETHING AND WE KEEP CURSING SO FOR MY SAKE CAN YOU SHUT UP#mikksy and schmidty were super playful with eo. tuomo ruutu kept messing w mikksy. and ekky was like a damn bumper car bumpin everyone#maffhew ofc was very dramatic when he couldnt get a goal in against knighter and he did the horse headshake in front of us#and i went “you can tell whos number 19 because hes the most dramatic person on the ice always”#ekky was super vocal i know he wanted to practise against the empty net but aj was practising tipins and he goes#MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. and aj so confused just moves like ???#and ekky notches one in goes over to him and waves his glove at him to move#also dmen + lundy were practising on my side of the ice afterwards (lundy ekky uvis kuli. kuli was practising solo. lundy was feeding ekky#for some slapshots uvis got some passes in with them) and anyways i did not fucking realise swaggy was still out because i was so focused on#the dmen until he shot a puck straight at my face and like man i know its not personal but damn did it feel personal with the lookback
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moeblob · 1 year ago
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AU where Brent is a drone to help out at crime scenes and offer input after Right finds the drone. And basically he befriends the really weird guy possibly controlling the drone but has his doubts as to how human the drone's source can be. So Right and Brent just go around trying to solve crimes while Right just calls the drone "Fuckwad (affectionate)".
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icewindandboringhorror · 8 months ago
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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seaofreverie · 3 months ago
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NEW CONCERT ON THE HORIZON..... Going to see Franz Ferdinand next year !!!
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reel-fear · 9 months ago
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MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!
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grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.
#ramblez#little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao#this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it#hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD#hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions#it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting#But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent#dw Im not going anywhere <3#also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently#old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD#also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns#he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs#and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get#and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they#dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves#to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent#mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did#so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!
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gigantomachylesbian · 1 month ago
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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cuteniaarts · 5 months ago
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Wine stains on porcelain
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(Alternatively: @katkastrofa and I have created 5 OCs in 3 days and I suffer from chronic “I wanna draw the little guysssssss” disease)
#my art#artists on tumblr#the legend of korra#original characters#I have not figured out a tag system yet so for now this is all they’re getting#their names are liba and abyan and I’m very much obsessed :)#they’re the children of two of our other newest OCs. Himman and Summiya#the latter of whom just happens to be Zaheer’s older sister#but he ran away from home years before these two were born so he most likely isn’t even aware of their existence#I mean. I’m sure he suspects his sisters had children. but that’s the extent of what he knows#anyway#quite a few headcanons came to mind as I was drawing so I’m gonna type them out while I can still function#(haven’t slept for two nights in a row. I’m starting to doubt whether I’m actually alive or not)#Liba is older by about a year but once they grow up a little it’s barely noticeable and people assume they’re twins#over time they stop bothering to correct them because really. they’re so close they might as well be#they were both burn with port wine stain birthmarks on their faces. much to their mother’s dismay#she has a whole perfectionism complex and needed her children to reflect that to maintain the family image#thus they were taught how to hide the marks early on. but the powder makes them constantly sneeze#liba is very self conscious about it bc of what her mother put in her head. Abyan less so bc while he’s expected to be perfect#his future doesn’t depend on his looks. he always tries to comfort his sister whenever she spirals too deep. no matter that she’s older#when no one is around to hear he calls her Lili <3 it annoyed her at first so she dubbed him Yanyan in retaliation#but over time they both grew to love the nicknames and now use them unironically#they’re the ultimate partners in crime. their goal? gaining as much freedom from their mother as possible#and sooner or later they will manage to do so permanently. which will make Summiya fall apart. but that is currently Kat’s domain#speaking of. hi Kat. I know you’ve already seen this in pencil but look! I coloured them!!#the birthmarks were both kinda annoying and rather fun to do. maybe I’ll change them later. I was too tired to look at refs so I improvised#and there’s no detail in clothing since again. 0 energy whatsoever. but once I refine their full body designs I shall go all out#that reminds me I need to go collect my new sketchbook. might do it on the way home from the store#okay I’m getting distracted. is this my very unsubtle way of trying to influence Kat to write that Summiya fic?#maybe. maybe not. you can’t prove anything 😁
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slashersweethearts · 1 month ago
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morgchie is such a severe mismatch of freak and it makes me feel so bad for morgan bc 😭 i mean she also thinks so but not in the way that it actually is! bc HER perspective on things Pre Literally Everything From The Moment He Showed Up At The Hospital With Sam Onward was like “damn. richie is so normal. cool of him to put up with me but why the hell is he doing that” and it’s like babygirl. you are a teenager w severe childhood trauma that left you feeling fundamentally shut off from your peers who likes holing up in ur room drawing silly little horror characters. that man is ghostface and he’s evil. YOU are not the worse off one in this r/s 😭
#like you know a lil too much abt fnaf and got samara morgan/slenderman/bughuul/ghostface painted on ur bedroom wall#sure.#but he is planning a massacre he got NO kinda room to think YOURE weird 😭#you have to understand that morgan’s metric of normal is like#can socialize w others and enjoys doing so. has a visible emotional range. generally seems to be having a Good Time#has not had their brain chemistry irreparably altered in a way that makes them feel alien around other ppl#so basically. the inverse of what she has going on 😭#so ofc she thinks he’s normal 😭#sure he may be a grown man obsessed w stab who is dating a high schooler#(well two. but she didnt know him n amber were a thing until WAAAAAY later 😭)#but he’s expressive + can talk to ppl & hold down a job + does not seem apathetic abt whether he lives to see tomorrow 😭#and comes from a seemingly stable bg off what she knows abt it which is. not an insane amount but enough to know it was Not like hers!#so shed say he’s still significantly better off than her 😭#id say babygirl were gonna get u some better self esteem but this like. isnt even#a thing she beats herself up over. to her its just kind of a fact#water is wet. the sky is blue. richie’s gotta have other options better than a very troubled 17 yr old n she dk why he isnt pursuing Them#thing is he sorta kinda doesnt?? given his track reco-*i am SHOT*#— ♡ 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘰𝘮 (𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭) // morgan fox.#— ➴ 𝘨𝘪𝘳𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳. // morgchie.#— slasherverse posting.
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lixbf · 11 months ago
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it rly makes me go ??? when ppl say shit abt astarion being evil or how you have to be rly evil to get w him like. no? hes not a wyll-level good person by any means but hes not just evil either. and rly just like w all the other companions all you rly gotta do to get on his good side is yknow support him as a person, accept his boundaries and let him do some kinda maybe not perfectly moral stuff thats important to him like letting him kill gandrel or letting him drink your blood or letting him take that necromancy book
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ratatatastic · 2 months ago
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AND I CHEERED
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totallyawesome123 · 4 months ago
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rediscovering I have empathy? craaaazyyyyy
#beanie babbles#okay so this is gonna be a vent post but all in the yags#tw pet death#tw death#i hope dont think this is ablest language but its not precise language#Here we go#I never really doubted I have a capacity for empathy. It can be kind of hit or miss- amd even when I dont understand I try to be compassion#-ate. all that good stuff blah blah#Whats a lot more accurate to say is I dont really feel bad for dead people#I'll feel bad at the idea of somone dying maybe. I dont want living people to suffer and die just because.#I get upset when my friends are suicidal or when somone goes out and kills other people or even when a fictional charecter dies sometimes#but the mourning isnt about their death. it sucks that i cant hang out with them any more or that they cant experiance shit any more#but im not crying at a casket#But I did cry when I found my housemates pet bird limp on the floor of the cage today- the other one not seeming to even realize#This is the second time. The first one the birds were closer and the loving one wouldnt stop making noise tryong to get our attention#this one didnt mind as much- was just hungry and looking for some more feed. The feeders were empty and water gross#I stay with the birds every day and make sure they get excerize and enrichment because my housemate cant do that part#but i dont check the nessicities#so that was a shock. I refilled the food compartment after taking the dead bird out and putting them in a box#I dont think thats why they died. These birds have their wongs clipped before purchase and cant flay very well at all#But this bird practiced and was able to get a lot of height and distance as feathers grew back. But didnt know how to stop#Constantly crashing into floors and walls. Thats the main culprit I think#Its just weird that I cry easier over birds and fictional charecters and material things than my family. I feel guilty about it#Not that guilty i got all that angst out in 2020#vent post#not really actually this turned into an explination of events more#anyway#the actual post had nothing to do w9th anything bru
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