#not sure if that's the right word
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I did not realize this got so long, so rambly word vomit under the cut
I do think more attention should be paid to the absolute horror Jason must have felt after coming out of the Lazarus pit like a foot taller and built like a damn fridge.
Like he died at 15, tiny, still small due to malnutrition and then the leading theory is that the Lazarus pit cures that and beefed him up. For one, that's gotta mess with his motor control a ton, especially when you consider that normal growth spurts cause a period of clumsiness (think jarring steps, toe stubbing, knocking your elbow on doorknobs or whatever), so a total body overhaul -Lazarus Edition™ - might be enough to keep him from even walking properly, let alone fight skillfully and gracefully.
Even if you say he got his coordination back from training or comic book science meant the pits didn't fuck that up, being small was probably a major part of his identity. Consider Jason before Bruce. He was tiny, but still resourceful and strong enough to jack tires. But being tiny was useful. Being tiny meant more hiding spaces were available. It meant he was unassuming. It meant people's eyes skipped over him. It meant avoiding attention. It meant safety.
And sure, Jason probably complained about being small when he was Robin. Probably even dreamed of being big as a street kid because being big meant having power, but being big on the streets meant being noticed and he knew that. It was something to dream about when he was older but not what he needed then.
I've also seen people headcanon that Jason is claustrophobic from the coffin, and I kinda vibe with that, and being bigger also screws with that because things feel so much bigger when you're small. If you think about it, elevators and the like probably felt a lot more spacious when you were a kid. So not only has his body been drastically changed without his consent (and I haven't really touched on that here, but also consider how it has to affect Jason Todd (who champions consent and autonomy and personal safety of the little guy) to have experienced nonconsensual body modification first hand like that) but it can actively cause him more mental distress.
And I think, coming out of the pit, the memory of his death still fresh in his mind, and stuck in the League of Assassins, maybe being small would have been comforting. He could still access all the same hiding places he would immediately clock. And while the image of a big man hiding somewhere clearly too small for him might be funny, it's also heart wrenching because he's lost so many safe places in a single moment.
Of course when Jason does go back to Gotham he's learned to use his new body and the fact that it makes him intimidating as hell, but I think there's another negative there as well. Because as Robin he comforted people. No Robin is ever soft but they are all almost definitely better at comforting victims than Batman (maybe not Damian, but he's a baby which is simultaneously more and less comforting) and a big part of that is because they're kids. Kids just aren't as intimidating as giant ass adults and I can imagine that this probably messed with Jason when he first got back to Gotham and tried to talk to the street kids or the working girls because those are groups of people who are going to be suspicious of men built like a goddamn fridge. He can't come up to them like he did as Robin, and I'm sure over time he's won their trust and they find him a symbol of safety, but the first few interactions have to hit hard because it feels like he doesn't belong in a place that's been his first home. That somehow he no longer fits right where he always did before.
I also can't imagine how disconcerting it must be to not recognize your reflection for like every part of yourself. Like, this one time I had makeup done for an event (not my idea) and it was so heavy that I didn't recognize myself and I felt so uncomfortable with that and that was just my face. My hair, my height, my build - all of that was still familiar, comfortable, but can you imagine being unable to recognize even that? And if he avoids mirrors to avoid seeing his reflection, he might not even be able to recognize himself in pictures and videos. (There's a fanfic with this idea and it definitely inspires this post because I honestly never considered this before and I thought it was so well written and such a good point that we don't pay enough attention to. You should totally check it out if you got this far.)
The last point I have for this post has to do with his relationship with Bruce. So typical timeline (I think) for Jason is he dies at 15, crawls out of his grave about 6 months later, is catatonic for 3 years, and then spends a year mentally present training with the League of Assassins on his world tour or whatever. I am fuzzy on the details here but basically from his birthday, Jason can't be older than 19-20 when he comes back to Gotham (I think 19 is the accepted age) but mentally he's 16 and for some fucking reason DC artists like to draw him like he's over 30. THIS IS A PROBLEM! Like this is an extremely fucked up 16 year old kid that should be trapped in a 19 year old's body but instead it's so much worse because (and I've seen someone describe him like this before) he's actually trapped inside the body of a 35 year old divorcee AND THAT IS NOT OKAY! Like even if we're gonna say that the Lazarus pit alters the body to peak physical health that would be like 22 or some shit. Past 30 is not a physical prime. You can be fit for sure at 30 but that doesn't change the fact that your ability to build muscle and heal and whatever else are probably better in your early to mid 20s and hey guess what that's still younger than Dick's accepted age (or maybe about the same (I have stayed up too late writing this to keep proper track of numbers)). But Jason looks older than Dick more often than not (the Gotham Knights game will never be forgiven for whatever the fuck happened to Jay's character design).
Okay sorry for the sidetrack, but Jason looking older is gonna fuck with Bruce because Bruce is gonna have a real hard time seeing his tiny, malnourished, never gonna top 5'4 Jaylad in this giant hulk of a figure, especially when the age is so off. Like imagine you have a kid who goes to college and does a ton of internships or research so you don't really see them for 4 years, you're still gonna expect your kid to look like they're 22-23. If they look like they're 35 you sure as hell are not gonna pinpoint that as your kid. So Bruce sees Jason and it makes sense that he doesn't think that's his kid BECAUSE THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HIS KID! (I'm ignoring the moral differences in this post) So Bruce doesn't see a kid when he looks at Jason but Jason is mentally 16 and, despite everything he says to the contrary, he sees his dad when he looks at Bruce. Jason doesn't see an equal, someone who is just another adult. This is his dad, an authority figure in his life, someone whos opinions and words hold power over him whether he wants them to or not. But Bruce can't see that. Because Bruce doesn't see a kid. He doesn't see his son. He sees an equal and that's tragic because you're always supposed to be your parents' baby. Even when you're 50 with your own family and nearly adult kids, you're still gonna be your parents little baby. Because parents see their kids at all the ages they've ever been and it's the fact that Jason doesn't have someone who looks at him and sees him how he was when he was 2 and 7 and 10 and 13 and 15 when he still feels 16 that makes this so sad. Because no one's been his parent for long enough to really build that and Bruce can't see Robin!Jason in the Jason that came back.
Wow, uh, I'm really sorry to anyone who reads this. This really got away from me and it's super unorganized and I just kinda word vomitted all over this. This was just supposed to be about how his body was different. How did Bruce end up in this?
#jason todd#red hood#robin#lazarus pit#bruce wayne#batman#gotham#body disphoria?#i think#not sure if that's the right word#if someone knows the right phrase#please tell me#but basically weird relationship with body#tw: death#tw: claustrophobia#tw: body issues#tw: body modification#parents#parent child relationship#Jason is drawn way to old#this is a problem#for REASONS#jason todd is my comfort character#and it shows
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Thinking about how Vriska's one of the few trolls that's not stated to be aiming for a military job during her introduction
Thinking about how Mindfang upholds Alternian ideals in all but the expansionism, and that and little else is what makes her an outlaw
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crisis of disbelief
#one piece#trafalgar law#zoro#luffy#‘what ship is this’ sure#lulaw? luzo? law…zo? or is it zolaw. none of these sound like words anymore#well i guess bc they aren’t. they aren’t real words#‘law and zoro never really saw gear 5’ yeah. law saw his giant head in the roof and zoro was basically dead#they felt That tho#and finally#‘i thought you were taking a much needed rest break after weekly comics’#yeah well. i need a new brush bc my old one kills my wrist and there is a STEEP learning curve for me ://#it’ll get easier right. it’ll look better right. RIGHT?!
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when you're part of a group with structural power over another goup, you really do gotta just learn to say "i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant" whenever someone expresses frustration with you or people like you.
#juney.txt#like sure to protect your ego you could try to make up some axis of oppression that concievably means you're not accountable for anything#and how dare people from colonized nations tell you that you have it easier than them just because you live in the imperial core#or how dare trans women say you have it easier than them because no matter what it'll always be your word against a tranny's#or you could just learn to be a little uncomfortable for a moment#and look at the situation for a second and say#''you know what? they're right to be frustrated!''#''and it's really not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things if they're frustrated at me''#''especially if i'm being a prime example of the things they're getting frustrated about''#''i am not exempt from 'fuck 'em' when relevant''
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Jason travels to an alternate universe where Bruce only cares about being Batman. He took in each of his kids to serve the mission, not be his children.
Now, faced with alternate versions of his family, Jason has to grapple with the fact that his Bruce does care, that he is his father. Because the man in front of him now, trying to send him home, isn’t even close.
#batman#jason todd#bruce wayne#redhood#batfam#batfamily#this bruce went one of two ways 1) running his kids into the ground and they’re basically unrecognizable to jason or 2) worked them so hard#they couldn’t take it and left the business entirely and he’s completely alone except the JL which doesn’t like him but he is necessary#sure crime is down but bruce’s crusade is just that an actual crusade because he treats his sons like soldiers and everything comes second#to the mission. i don’t even know if damian exists in this universe because the idea of bruce having romantic relationships is laughable#although here he might be more closely aligned to talia because they’re both mission oriented and having a legal heir for their literal#legacy might appeal to him idk. just that jason shows up and it’s like his brothers have military ranks instead of names. none of them have#real jobs or even friends because they eat sleep work live at the manor and would never leave the batcave if it weren’t for public#appearances. it’s insane to see dick without his personality or tim who really does act like a robot and not a person. i don’t know if steph#cass and duke would stick around for this (or alfred for that matter i’m 50/50)#but when jason does get back everyone is shocked that he sticks around the cave and manor for a couple weeks checking in on everyone and#making the effort to do things unrelated to mask business. he has to write a report about the incident and he struggles to even put into#words how wrong it felt. his arguments with bruce also skew slightly because he can’t claim bruce doesn’t care in general just that he#doesn’t care about him or express it enough or in the right way. a far cry from the usual spiel and bruce is concerned so they talk it out
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#happy anniversary to remembering this actually happened 😘✌️
Loki S2 Anniversary x Episode 5 - “Science/Fiction”
#mobius#loki#lokius#mcuedit#lokiedit#marveledit#hit pause on everything in favor of rewatching ep 5 the beloved rom com which is always the right choice 😔🙏#real talk y'all the elation felt after hearing the words 'single dad' might never be matched in my lifetime and i'm so okay with that#also the way don was over here doing all the heavy lifting lmao??#like this mysterious stranger sure ain't smooth but at least he's hot asldfjslkfjsgk#'are you still on the market' is just as insane as the fit check btw the hits really just kept on coming 💕#owen wilson#tom hiddleston#marvel#owenwilsonedit#dianagifs#(and yes my ep 4 set was ready but i was too busy with halloween asks to post earlier so we'll jump back to that one later 😂)
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I dont really think of myself as someone who showed a lot of signs of being trans growing up, but then I remember in eigth grade writing in my secret journal "I wish I was a girl (but if I were, I'd be a lesbian)"
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Been playing FFXIV recently desperately searching for my cunty lil man :)
I love my tiny little friend who insists I come with him for all of his political negotiations where I just sit and nod and occasionally smack a dude senseless
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#final fantasy 14#ff14#alphinaud leveilleur#ffxiv wol#Her name's Rowan and she's a lot cooler than I will ever be#tinydraws#I'm only 1/3 ish??? through heavensward right now#1/2?? I'm not sure#it's not as easy to tell my progress as it was in ARR#all i know is that i fought some dragons and it was really cool#also i'm still learning how to write the characters' ways of speaking#they use so many words for so simple of concepts and it hasn't quite clicked with my brain yet fhaghhglsflk
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SYLUS who has loved you endlessly and forever. who never falters even in the face of death, as the only thing that ever stuck as his ultimate priority was ensuring your safety. who initially teases you about the mundane things you find joy in, only to memorize each and every detail. who quite literally puts everything on the line that dares to threaten your life or serve as an obstacle for your happiness. SYLUS—who has sworn to himself to give you the world at all costs—if it meant the cosmos had to burn, if it meant that gods would have to be betrayed and killed.
#⋆⭒˚。𖦹 (˶°ㅁ°) LUNAWRITES!#i just finished listening to his tender moments for the cards i have rn and i am feeling things.#im thinking of so many things but one thing's for sure is that man loves you DOWN.#sylus loves you with every fiber of his being and damn right he's gonna make sure you know even if he doesn't say the words outright#god i love him. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM#sylus#sylus x reader#sylus x you#sylus love and deepspace#love and deepspace sylus#lnds sylus#l&ds sylus#lads sylus#love and deepspace#love & deepspace#lads#lnds#l&ds#love and deepspace x reader#love and deepspace x you#sylus qin#qin che
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hey, remember when Viktor was arguing with Jayce while trying to disarm Jinx's explosive device, and he got riled up with Jayce's ignorance regarding his and the undercity's conditions and messes up, causing the bomb's countdown to start and– and Viktor hesitates for a moment. it's incredibly subtle, it didn't even come to me on my first watches, but he... does. he takes his time cutting the wire, which I can't tell if it's meant to be read as caution or- something else, because after it he turns to Jayce, affirming "there is always a choice", implying he just made one
#i don't know what to think#scene is in ep 7 around 24 minutes#right after mel comes to the lab and they argue about hextech's possible weaponary future#weaponary? is that even a word? whatever#cali speaks#league of legends#arcane#lol#jayvik#vikjayce#jayce talis#viktor#the boy savior#<– ep name#meta#uh. not really but sure whatever
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#as far as I can tell this is an original quote?#thank you mr bagel for your bleak words#I literally doubled back to get a picture of this bc I wasn’t sure I’d read it right#disco elysium ass sign#photo#op
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colorkiller,,,,, again
i tried real hard to write their dialogue in the proper arabic (standard arabic for killer, egyptian arabic for color) and i hope to god they say what i want them to say, i was clinging to translators like my life depended on it
context for this is like. killer comes home during stage 1 and assumes based off the DT on his face and how tired and shaky he is, he must be having a rough day. fragile killer being held by color
aside from that, my own headcanon AU territory!!! killer with Night Terror :D
"HOLD STILL."
i plan to make another proper post about NT, covering his powers and design and stuff like that. for now a brief explanation
NT got gross hands that bring the worst out of people. its like acid to everything and not just dream. amplifies the negativity of anyone who touches it like tenfold
utilizes that to apprehend killer and inflict the NastyTM upon him, which sends him frighteningly quickly from stage 1 to stage 3, and sets him loose upon anyone fighting NT
aka "sic em boy"
#undertale au#utmv#killer!sans#killer sans#something new#something new killer#othertale#othertale sans#color!sans#color sans#dreamtale au#dreamtale au night terror#dreamtale night terror#night terror#color x killer#colorkiller#kolor#please please PLEASE#tell me if i have the arabic right#i tried very hard to make sure the lettering was correct#i love challenging myself and writing non-romanized words and sentences#but i get SO worried i do it wrong#or tell me if i need to tweak how its written#JUST#HELP ME OUT#ANYBODY ARABIC OR WHO UNDERSTANDS ARABIC#IF I HAVE IT WRONG ILL DIE#REAL!!!!!!!!!
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Cassiopea and Orion
Ellie had a plan. She promised she had one. This wasn't like when Clocky would sent her off on a mission through time with nothing more but a little note with a cryptic message on what to do.
Danny had given her clear instruction. Before one of her many travels to see the world, Danny, in his mid twenties and she in her late teens, had taken her aside once. Telling her about specific instruction she should follow, should she ever find herself in a moment of need, and Danny wasn't able to help her.
Well, now she was in that kind of situation. Amity Park was destroyed with no survivors. Vlads castle was no more. Both Dan and her got deaged, but Dan had to be put in a frozen state when he started to destabilize. And Danny, he had gotten captured by the GIW shoving her out of harms way and telling her to remember what he told her before.
Ellie was pretty sure Danny was telling her to follow the emergency instructions.
So here she was now. In Gotham. Keeping to the shadows and trying to find her way around.
No one ever bothered to tell her how hard it was to navigate through a city like Gotham. You would think it would be easy to find some guy running around at night in an armored spandex furry costume.
But no, here she was, in a random alley. In a city, Danny had specifically told her to avoid it unless the emergency instruction came into play. Maybe she should just steal a map.
She was contemplatingly staring at a gas station for that until she noticed a shadow jumping over the roof tops. It took her only a second to decide on her next action. Ellie was pressed on time after all.
"Hey you!" She shouted loudly flying up to follow that shadow. "Wait up!"
Thankfully, the shadow listened and stopped on the next rooftop toward her. She insanity noticed it tensing. Now, she noticed that the shadow was a kid. He looked small, and Ellie figured he was probably around 11 or 12.
"You are one of the Bees and Birds, right?" She questioned once she floated a bit closer. Also the kid tensed up.
"You mean Bats and Birds." The kid clicked his tongue at her, crossing their arms.
"Bees, Bats, who cares. My question is you know the big bad bee, right?" She waved the kid of, she had more pressing matter than getting their animals right. "I need to get a message to him."
The kid clicked their tongue once more, huffing and muttering something she couldn't hear. Probably talking to someone on a com. Either way, Ellie took his silence as a form of telling her to continue.
"Can you tell the big bad bee-" "Bat" "-the following?" She ignored the kid cutting in trying to get her message across and follow Danny's instructions to a T.
"Cassiopea is calling out to Orions Nursery before Rho dies to help her youngest."
There was long, drawn-out silence, and the kid was hissing something into coms. Ellie fidget with her finger nervously. Going through Danny's emergency instructions through her mind again until she hear a thud close to her and wirled around.
With wide blue glowing eyes, she looked up at the man dressed like a bat for a couple of seconds before taking on a defensive position. Eyes now narrowed at the man that was clearly studying her.
"I was under the impression that Phantom's youngest child was older. You appear to be no older than five."
"Yea well shit happened!" She shot back, still unsure if she could trust the man even if he mentioned Danny's hero alias. Her hands started to glow slightly as she prepared to attack in case things went back. But the man didn't appear to be phased by it. Not like the kid that was tensing up.
"You will be safe with us. But what happened to Phantom?"
Ellie eyes flicked over to the other kid that had now come closer to stand next to the bat guy before looking back to the big guy. She did not drop her stance yet. Still unsure of how much trust she can put here despite what Danny had told her, she had not yet heard the right response.
The man appeared to sense her distrust, as he kneeled to be on eye level with her. "Jupiter and Rho Cas will not be harmed. Orion gave Cassiopea his word."
Finally, Ellie relaxed, dropping her defensive stance but still watching the man with narrowed eyes. She hesitated a short moment before carefully saying her next words, hoping the man knew enough to k ow the grave meaning behind them.
"Phantom lost his haunt."
#danny fenton#dp x dc#de aged ellie#de aged dan#danny phantom#dpxdc#crossover#dcxdp#ellie phantom#damian wayne#brue wayne#danny and bruce are childhood friends#they have a series of star and constellation themed code words and phrases#danny made sure ellie knew the one for emergencies to seek help from the bats#bruce never thought any of them to his kids#but he does keep them in his contingency files#danny got captured and amity is gone#ellie clearly had every right to use the emergency instructions#also...#Dan and her got deaged#for the parent Danny factor#*cough* i mean because of giw experiments#i think i really need some sleep now....#late night ideas
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#Askeladd#vinland saga#please enjoy this meme... i worked hard on it. i am not a natural born meme maker#this is my first time watching an anime in ages but i am having a blast!#hmm not sure if blast is the right word but its really good#my posts#vinland saga spoilers#i suppose! early spoilers but spoilers nonetheless
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shirooooooo....
#hnk spoilers#<-i suppose?????????#anyways UGH i love ayumu so much there was a period of time where i just couldnt stop thinking about her and what she represents#and UGHHHHH ugh. i hope im not the worlds most insane about her. i hope? i dont want to be alone in this < 3#i will get into my ramblings....when my friends who are reading hnk rn finish it........#multiple of them. so i assume itll be a lot of waiting... dont wanna spoil too much...#i do love her a lot tho. as a character. as a design. and eughghhfhhhhh kongo.....#i always found it weird how the gems are the only 'species' without body diversity and when we figured out thats on purpose i was .hm.#speechless?...might be the right word.... smart. smart choice. ugh#yapping in tags is so fun#whatever go my professor#professor ayumu#ayumu hnk#houseki no kuni#land of the lustrous#hnk#art i made#tis 5am in my area hmmmhmmmmmm maybe time to hit the snooze <-forgot to take melatonin#and pitapat is there too i guess dont mind him. can you watch him while i go for a smoke. make sure he doesnt end the world or whatever#gn metaphorical chat thanks for reading
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May I ask what were the best transformers media you ever saw/read?
Well Transformers Prime, Transformers 1986 and IDW comics are having the first place that’s for sure
And then the second place is kind of shared by Fall of Cybertron, Exodus, Prime wars trilogy, Robots in disguise(2001) and Transformers One.
The third place goes to G1, Animated, Earthspark, Armada, War for Cybertron Netflix series, Aligned Robots in disguise, Bumblebee, Rise of the Beasts and Cyberverse because I only liked some little parts of them.
And then I also saw some of the Bay movies, Victory and Headmasters and didn’t like them at all.
Separate first place for J-Decker. It is not exactly Transformers but it is a show about giant robots and I loved it
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#call me weird for placing cheap ugly shows above Earthspark and Animated#but the thing is#I have when the whole narrative revolves around human kids#*hate#I’m allergic to them#Prime wars trilogy had one of the worst face rigs I ever saw#but it also had Overlord teaming up with evil Rodimus and Megatron being funniest mf alive#Armada is straight up infuriating imma be honest#Armada is like#Au where all the weapons work only once and then just create some glitter#I actually have SO many thoughts on Armada. like. as a writer#the way they keep reusing the same plot 3000 times is borderline impressive#OH War for Cybertron from Netflix was such an experience!#It was so painfully boring and stupid sometimes#but the other times. ooooouuufff. The scene where some nameless decepticon gives Megatron a little tour to show him how him and his friends#-work so hard for the cause??? THAT SHIT HIT HARD#….also I pretty much only like the Quintesson apocalypse arc from the entire Cyberverse#Transformers Victory is fun until you actually hear them speaking#the concept of Star Saber adopting a human child and raising him and then#going to human school as his legal guardian being like ‘yeah sure I can sign all your tiny ass documents’#it’s hilarious but unfortunately all the writers of that anime were snorting cocaine because WHY all the characters talk like that#Animated was fun for me only near the end. Idk what to say. I’m not a fan of any drama centered around humans#things got interesting when Cybertronian government got involved#Earthspark is WHOLE giant topic ahahah. I liked Twitch. sometimes. I also liked Grimlock while he had voice lines. Prowl was fun.#everything else needs and essay haha I don’t wanna annoy anyone#OH I also watching Tf Cybertron right now and this shit is UGLY. they have NO RIGS. THEY HAVE ONE EXPRESSION EACH#but for some fucked up reason I love it. they got the guy named Landmine who only can have (-_-) face.#their Megatron actually respects Starscream so far and regularly gives him positive reinforcement??? I heard words ‘excellent job Starscrea#and went WAIT WHAT#Anyway. If you ask me to ramble about media you get a word tsunami. I have a lot to share
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