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#not sure how to make that work bc its very late but the idea amuses me
whoneedssexed · 1 year
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Hi. I need advice. My bf has depression and while it hasn't been terrible while we have been dating , recently he seems more distant and has mentioned he feels stuck in life, he's constantly unsure now which is very not him and keeps quiet and says "I dont know" alot. We and his friends think his depression is slowly coming back, because obviously it doesn't go away. I dont know how to help, because I do feel like its putting a strain on our relationship, we're currently doing long distance due to work so we arnt able to have our similar routine. His communication skills are not the best, we have small arguments frequently mainly due to his lack of interest on the conversation or his small outbursts. Which at the time I didnt put two and two together but now it kinda make sense. I feel like he has become distant and dont seem engaged at all when we have little time to talk. While I feel for him, im getting frustrated because our fight seem to be the same pattern, of him not being able to communicate properly. I've expressed this before as this is all we have at the moment and he seems to understand but doesn't seem to make much effort of trying. I do think the distance has affected this and he doesn't seem to realize, he a very actions person and he has expressed that he feels useless bc he can't do much for me while I'm away. Were so well together in person but lately we seem like a completely different couple . I'm not sure what to do, I think I want to give him some space , which makes me a bit sad bc we hardly have much time to chat. I ask him if he needs alone time ,etc but he can't seem to answer me with a direct answer. During our relationship his depression hasn't been bad , its been maybe mild but nothing to this effect, it's never caused a shift in our relationship but this time it feels different. So im.not sure how to go about this. Any advice would help, I do love him and want our relationship to grow but the past couple of months it seems more draining and mentally exhausting.
I know this is a very, very late response, but when things get like this for depressed people, it can be a red flag for potential suicidal ideation.
That said, being depressed can also cause a lot of brain fog, which makes people indecisive, dissociative, unable to think to the future, etc. This happens because of how exhausting and draining depression can be, especially in a world that demands you always be doing something, anything, at every moment. People with depression are extremely susceptible to burnout.
He could need a change in medication/treatment, or a change in environment, or a change in his support systems. Or sometimes, it's just a temporary rut in life. Doing more positive and/or relaxing things can also help, such as colouring in books, going to a movie, starting a new series, visiting an animal sanctuary, going on a hike, going to an amusement park, etc. Things that don't require a lot of effort and can be simply enjoyed, depending on social tolerances (ex: a museum could be a bad idea because there's too many people and it overwhelms).
There's also the fact that the strain on your relationship could be the cause of the depression and not the other way around. Which is to say, because you guys aren't in your usual routines and aren't able to experience each other often, his depression is returning. A lot of depressed people rely on routine and partner support to supplement their treatments. Breaking routine in particular can leave someone feeling lost, hopeless, confused, stuck, and so on. Plenty of people need routine to feel purpose and direction in their lives.
Depression can cause more arguing because it can deplete one's ability to tolerate others. Again, this is because of how draining depression is, which leaves someone with significantly less spoons and overwhelmed easily. Shutting down is a natural defense mechanism and presents itself as aloofness, sudden bouts of anger, disinterest in anything, inability to conversate, and so on. There can be different ways to treat these individual symptoms which can improve the overall depression.
If he seems to struggle still with communication or explaining what he wants and thinks, have him start keeping a journal or notebook where he writes everything he is feeling, or even draws pictures. Have him jot down any time his mood dips and what happened at the time it did, and maybe he can find triggers for what's going on with him.
But, it is fair to be frustrated. You have your own feelings and likely own problems as well and for the support YOU needed to be taken away is absolutely a frustrating thing. It's a good idea for you to find other support in this trying time to maybe take the pressure off of him.
If you haven't already, I would communicate to him exactly how you're feeling, and that you want to help but you don't know what to do. Ask him what he needs most right now - a distraction? a discussion? a solution? - and follow through. If he can't decide about it, emphasize you're there for when he knows. Additionally, explain to him that there's always gonna be sometimes when you two can't be in person and that he can't fix everything every time, and that you don't expect him to.
Here are some resources for both of you:
Getting Out of a Funk: How to Help Yourself Through Depression
Tips for managing depression in relationships
Babylon: How Depression Can Affect Relationships
Self-care Wellness Toolkit
Worksheet for depression coping skills
How to talk to someone who has depression
How and Why to Practice Self-Care
How can I communicate with someone with depression?
Depression in relationships
How to Tell Someone You're Depressed
Helping Someone with Depression
The Impact Your Mental Health Can Have on Communication
PsychCentral: 10 Self Care Tips for When You Have Depression
Anna Freud: Self Care
What Not to Say or Do to Someone Who Has Depression
Coping with Depression
How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Depression
How Depression Affects My Ability to Communicate
Psychology Today: Why Self Care is Hard for Depressed Individuals
The Royal Australian & New Zealand College of Psychiatrists: Self-care for depression
6 Powerful and Effective Ways to Communicate Better in Relationships
5 Signs that Depression is Eroding Your Relationship
How to Talk about Depression with Family and Friends
Tips On Communicating With Those Who Have Depression
6 Dos and Don'ts for Supporting Someone Who Has Depression
22 Ways to Cope with Your Depression
NIH: Caring For Your Mental Health
Depression Self Help Guide
Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques to Help with Depression Symptoms
Healthy Coping Skills for Depression, Anxiety, and Anger
Clear Minds Center: Tips for Communicating with Someone Who is Depressed
How Depression Effects Relationships and What You Can Do
What to Know About Dating Someone With Depression
Relationships and Communication
How to use mindfulness for depression
Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye
-Mod BP
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clairecrive · 3 years
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Hi could we please get a really angsty fic with nikolai (with a happy ending pls) where reader and he has had a fight so they maintain the facade on the outside bc they're royals but in private it's just ignoring each other/angst?
Young Royals
A/N: ahh, this is angsty alright but it seems I'm only capable of writing hurt/comfort lately. This took a life of its own and it's long af but I hope you like it anyway x
Warnings: miscommunication, angst, fighting, hurt/comfort, Nikolai is a bit absent, you're a bit jealous of his relationship with Zoya
Tags: @jupiterandbutterflies, @agentsofsheilds , @for-bebbanburg , @randomoutsiders , @pansysgirlfriend , @hannaxmaria , @vintagebitc , @story-scribbler , @crowssixof , @odetostep,@lizzie-he4rts, @korol-lantsov, @subjecta13-thefangirl, @gallysonegoodlung, @a-c-lee, @mriddlemethis, @carnationworld,@thanossexual, @luvxginger, @sanna2020,@partiesandblurrypolaroids, @edithsvoice, @wafflesandschemingfaces (tag list form)
SHADOW AND BONE MASTERLIST
"Do not put words into my mouth, Nikolai."
"Please, you already have so many, my love," he scoffed and the use of the term of endearment hurt the most.
"You're making me sound like a brat while I'm providing you with a viable solution," you insisted with a flare of your hands, frustrated by his unwillingness to listen to you.
"No, you're not. What you're doing is being childish."
"I'm your queen, Nikolai. I'm only asking to be more involved."
"You're my wife, y/n, and you know nothing about politics or running a country." He retired, putting emphasis on wife. This felt a lot like being put into place. And the fact that it was your husband doing so, hurt. It was also the most you had seen him this week.
"Neither did Zoya, nor Genya or anyone who's currently running the country."
"That's different and you know it."
"Only because you're making it so," you exclaimed finally exploding. His despondency got on your nerves and this conversation was going nowhere anyway.
Surprised by your raise of voice, Nikolai stood before you just blinking at you.
Sighing, you took a step toward him, holding your hands up, "look, you're right, I don't know about running a country but teach me. I'm not stupid, I'll pick it up."
"Why are you insisting so much? You've never shown any interest in politics before." He gave you a puzzled look like he didn't really believe your intentions.
"I've never wanted to be queen before." before meeting you.
"Ah, I see," he chuckled mirthlessly, "I put you in this situation and now you're taking your revenge."
To insinuate that your marriage with him was you "being put into a situation" rather than a consensual decision you had made out of love was absurd.
Nikolai was right. You had never cared about politics or diplomacy before meeting him. You were a soldier. There was no reason for you to meddle with something that didn't concern you.
But now you were queen and you felt a responsibility towards your people. You wanted to help but so far, Nikolai hadn't allowed you to take part in any meetings. He said that anyone who needed to be there was already involved. What he didn't tell you was that while Grisha made excellent soldiers and even good councillors, one of them being a royal was a very different matter.
He had indulged his love for you by marrying you. You were his vice and he simply couldn't accept the idea of being without you anymore. He had married you, consequently making you queen, going against what his advisors told him.
While he ignored his warnings he was painfully aware, however, how difficult it was going to be for a Grisha on the throne. It was the first time something liked this had ever happened and unfortunately, the country was filled with people who resented Grisha for their powers.
Nikolai feared that the people were never going to accept you. Hence why he'd been keeping you secluded in the palace.
To be fair, you were doing a wonderful job. Like he had pointed out, you were not accustomed to politics but you made up for that with empathy and kindness. You started to interest yourself with the problem of poverty and lack of provisions for some parts of the country.
And while no one was aware of it, Nikolai often turned to you for military strategy. You were an apt soldier and had fought bravely alongside him and everyone else in the battle of the Fold. You were the very reason why he was still alive, to be honest.
While this arrangement worked for the first months of your reign, it was starting to feel an inadequate effort. You needed to do more, you wanted to do more. You didn't expect Nikolai to oppose it so vehemently.
"If I didn't want to be here I wouldn't be, Nikolai, you'd do well to remember it," you pointed out coldly, straightening your spine.
"Since you seem so adverse at spending time with me or including me in important matters, I'll find someone else who will." And with that, chin held high, you walked out of the room.
You missed him. It felt absurd to say this but you missed your husband. He was always busy with meetings or official visits to some noble across the country. For most of them, he went alone or with Zoya.
You knew that she was his first in command but you couldn't help but be bothered by it. It was one thing to accept the fact that he hadn't given the role to you "because the queen cannot have that role as well", it was a whole other thing to accept the fact that another woman spent more time with your husband than you did.
Countless were the fights you had with him in this regard. But they were pointless. Nikolai was still set on not bringing you and he and Zoya were always found together.
You didn't know what hurt more. The blow at your pride for being denied a position you deserved because of who you loved, the jealousy or being punished for your identity.
One thing was sure though, it was getting too much. At first, you pulled thought for Nikolai but now that you didn't have him anymore, your efforts seemed to be in vain.
So, like you had told Nikolai, you looked for someone who was willing to teach you. You wanted to help and if Nikolai wasn't going to let you here at the palace, then you'd find somewhere else.
Count Kirigin had always been nice to you and he was a very generous host. You knew that he played a central role in Nikolai's plan so you thought that there was no one better than him.
You reached out to him, wrote him a letter in which you showed interest in his activity and asked him if he was willing to show you. Of course, anything that came from the queen or the king couldn't be denied but you knew that the Count truly enjoyed your company. If your position didn't put so much higher than everybody else, you'd even consider him a friend.
You waited for his reply before putting in motion the preparations for your departure.
In the meantime, you and Nikolai kept conducting your separate lives. Usually, you'd only see him at night when he returned to your chambers if you were still up. Now, you had decided to sleep in separate rooms too.
If he wanted a wife, then a wife he'd get. But kings and queens do not sleep together.
If the new arrangement was bothering him, you didn't know. He hadn't reached out to you nor made any move to rectify your decision.
Turns out that he wasn't even at the Palace. He had left for a mission near the border with Shu Han and wouldn't be back for at least a week. Well, then. Of course, he didn't even bother with telling you. Not even a small note.
Jokes on him though, you thought, since when he was going to come back, he'd finally get what he wanted. You weren't going to be there to bother him anymore.
Differently from him though, you did indeed left him a note. Nikolai found it a week after you had set it on his pillow. Its presence made him furrow his eyebrows since he had already been wondering where you were. You usually came out to meet him at the gates whenever he'd come back from a mission and even though you had fought before he went away, you weren't one for holding grudges. So e guessed there was something holding you.
Unfolding the paper he was met with your familiar chaotic writing.
"I don't know when you're going to find this letter but if I'm not there yet it means that I'm still at Count Kirigin's. Do not bother with writing or visiting, I'll come back when my business with him is done.
Y/n"
What in the name of every sweet loving saint???
The letter wasn't dated, no dear, no yours no nothing. Fuck. You were still mad or worse, hurt.
Asking one of the servants, he learned that you had been away for a week already. But what business could you possibly have with the Count??
Nikolai had nothing against him. Seeing Kirigin get all flustered as he tried to flirt with Zoya amused him to no end but the idea of him and you in the same house? Alone?? Unacceptable.
Not even bothering to change clothes after his long journey, Nikolai headed to the stables to ask for a well-rested horse. Luckily, Count Kirigin's estate was not too far away. A couple of hours ride.
Turns out that the Count had a lot to teach. Despite his aloof reputation and extravagant clothes, he was very observant. He lacked ambition, which was why Nikolai trusted him and had a curious way of behaving in social situations.
But Emil had been born and raised in high society. He knew how things were run even if he had no desire to be in charge of them.
So far, you'd be having a wonderful time. Emil was a wonderful host, as you remembered, but without Nikolai's presence, he was even more extravagant. He had an unexpectedly dry sense of humour and a never-ending list of jokes.
Being in the open and in the company of someone who saw y/n instead of the Queen of Ravka proved to be even more needed than you thought. You felt reinvigorated and much lighter than you'd ever been.
You had also been learning a lot. Emil had been teaching you about diplomacy. About the best ways of formulating a sentence so that you wouldn't offend anyone but still get what you wanted. He had also been talking to you about your husband's ministers. About their weaknesses and vices and what was the best way to approach them to get what you wanted.
So far, it was proving to be a wonderful decision to come here.
Whenever your mind strayed on Nikolai, you willed it to focus on something else. You didn't know if he had already come home or seen the letter. A part of you thought that if he had, he would at least write one back. But the thought felt a lot like hope and seeing as how little he saw you even before you left, you didn't think it safe to harbour it.
When Nikolai reached the estate, he was met with Kirigin's servants. They welcomed him inside and profusely apologised for the Count's absence. They told him that at this time of the day, Kirigin and his guest would usually go out on a ride but that they were also about to return.
So Nikolai waited, sitting in the most comfortable chair the Count owned, fuming at the thought that his wife had felt the need to go away and be in the company of another man.
"If I didn't want to be here, I wouldn't be Nikolai. You'd do well to remember it."
Your words haunted him. They were the last thing that you told him. How stupid had he been to let you walk away. How utterly careless of him to disregard you like that.
He had promised himself to truly talk to you about it once this pressing matter of state was taken care of. Apparently, he had waited too long.
But Nikolai knew that the problem was at the source. He noticed how hurt you had been when he made Zoya his first in command. Or how sad you seemed everywhere he went somewhere with her and didn't ask you to join.
He was doing so to protect you from the inevitable slander you'd be met with. He should have known though that putting you aside was going to be even worse. You were a fighter just as much as Zoya was, if not stronger.
She hid behind her veil of indifference and superiority while you had never lost that emphatic verve that made everyone love you so much. In his attempt to make you safe, he had only managed to hurt you.
You were a warrior. You had accepted the role of queen only because it was the only way for you to be with Nikolai. And instead of praising you by making you a warrior queen, he had decided to hide you away.
Well, no more.
If his mistakes had not ruined everything already, he was going to make everything better.
Lost in his musing, he didn't hear the sound of hooves approaching but he did indeed hear your laugh. It immediately brought him back to the present and a wave of ugly jealousy hit him.
He couldn't remember the last time he made you laugh.
"I shouldn't even laugh Emil, the joke was terrible," Nikolai hear you giggling from somewhere in the hall. So now he was Emil, huh.
"You know you can't resist my charm, your highness," Emil replied and Nikolai had to call on every bit of his self-control to not barge out of the room and punch him.
"Stop it, you know you can call me y/n."
Before Emil could reply, they had both made it to the sitting room where Nikolai was waiting for them. It looked like no one had warned them of his presence because Kirigin looked surprised then utterly mortified.
"Your majesty, I wasn't aware you were here. Please forgive me for making you wait."
"Don't fret Kirigin, it was an impromptu visit. I came to see how my lovely wife was doing." No matter how green he was feeling right now, he knew that Kirigin was loyal to him and the crown. Whatever was happening here wasn't one of his schemes.
"Of course! I'm going to send for some tea while you two get reunited." Kirigin quickly bowed before hurrying out of the room.
Nikolai met your eyes for the first time since you had arrived. If at first, you were surprised to see him, now you couldn't help but be a bit sceptical about this visit.
"What are you doing here?" you asked breaking the ice.
"You leave with only a few lines on where you're going and you expect me to just accept it?" He scoffed, his hands curling on the armrests of the chair.
"It's more than what you gave me," you quipped, crossing your arms on your chest.
Nikolai sighed while his gloved hands run through his hair. You were right and he knew it. He had been a horrible husband lately.
"I know you're mad at me, honey, but listen-"
"I'm not mad. You didn't want to give me what I wanted so I went looking for it somewhere else." Scrolling your shoulders, you interrupted him without meeting his eyes. A list of excuses was not what you wanted nor what you needed from him.
Nikolai didn't miss the innuendo. His jaw clenched, his hands closed in fists. But he willed himself to stay calm.
"You think Kirigin can give you something that I can't?" Nikolai was a master in diplomacy. Never did he get frustrated or angry or raised his voice, even with the most aggravating people. Here though, with you, he didn't have to keep a façade. He spoke through his teeth barely containing his anger.
"Well, so far, he's been giving me attention and interesting pointers that no, Nikolai, you refused to give me."
"So this is how you solve your problems? Running away in the countryside with Emil?" Nikolai sneered, his tone souring around Kirigin's name.
"Don't you do the same with your precious first in command?" Tired after your ride with Emil, you plopped down on the chair in front of Nikolai's. Completely ignoring his tone, you pointed out calmly. The perfect image of aloofness even when it was the last thing you were in this moment.
"That's different," he snapped trying to meet your eyes that were carefully analyzing your hands.
"Yes," you signed, "it seems that when I'm concerned everything is different."
"There's nothing between me and Zoya, y/n and you know it." Nikolai was getting more frustrated by the second. He came here to apologize, to make things right and so far, the conversation was going in the opposite directions.
"Maybe now, but you spend more time with her than you do with me. It's only a matter of time before it happens and you're sorely mistaken if you think I'll just stand by and watch."
"This is not about Zoya," he insisted but so far, he wasn't getting the reaction out of you he wanted. You seemed... resigned at the situation. And that worried Nikolai to no end.
"It never is."
"Why did you run away?" Opting for a more direct approach, he bit the bullet and went straight to the point.
"I did not run away," you scoffed in contempt at his choice of words, "I told you I wanted to do more and Emil is teaching me. Not everyone is so against spending time with me, you know." You shot him a glance.
It was the first time that you had looked at him since you had been left alone.
"I married you, y/n. How can you possibly believe I don't want to spend time with you?" As desperation slipped through his words, Nikolai leaned towards you in his seat. As if he couldn't bear the distance between you anymore. But you knew it wasn't that. You and he had been distant for months now.
"Because that's what's happening, Nikolai," you clipped back and Nikolai had to refrain from wincing at your tone.
"It's not intentional, my love, I've just been busy." His tone softened. It was a poor excuse of an apology but it was sadly the truth.
"But when I say that I want to join or help you with it you strongly oppose?" Again, there was that suspicious implication in your words that Nikolai just couldn't stand. To think that you believed he'd ever cheat on you with another woman when he had done so much, taken so many risks, to be with you.
"It's not what you think, y/n." He insisted again but immediately realized he had said the wrong thing when he saw you leaning back into your chair shaking your head.
"I don't think anything, anymore. Do whatever you want. You do your thing and I'll do mine. I won't be a bother to you anymore." Holding up your hands, you gestured as you spoke.
A beat. Nikolai froze in his seat at what you were suggesting.
"You're never a bother to me. Never." He leaned even forwards in his chair, basically only propping on it now. The desperation was now clear in his voice. He reached out to you to try and take hold of your hands but you were too distant.
"I love you more than anything in this world and if you think that I'm going to let you go without a fight, you're sorely mistaken." The steel determination of his words caught you off guard. Nikolai was strong-headed, you knew that better than anyone else, but it had been a long while since that determination had been directed to you.
"You already did." It was barely a whisper. The sad truth about your reality, the downfall of your relationship. The wavering of your voice, the pain in your eyes were enough to tip Nikolai off the edge.
"Milaya, please."He fell onto his knees in front of you. Leaning forward he reached for your hands that he could now hold. "I'm sorry. I put you in a difficult position when I married you and I tried my best to protect you."
"I don't need protecting, Nikolai, especially if it's by pushing me away."
"I was keeping you away from danger and I know that you're strong and capable but I hate to think of you as the object of public slander." His eyes darted between yours, frantic, desperate to make you understand.
"I'm Grisha, Nikolai. It's nothing new to me," you pointed out but then it hit you.
"By difficult position, you meant a Grisha Queen, didn't you?" Your eyes hardened at the implications, your hands going slack in his hold. You would have pulled them away if Nikolai didn't tighten his hold.
"Please, do not think I'm regretting my choice or I think you're not worthy of the title because that's not true." Pulling your hands, he tried to get you closer to him. "I fear that there will be repercussions among the people." And there it was, at last, the truth.
"And among your ministers," you added remembering Emil's lessons on the people at court and their role.
You scoffed when he stayed silent. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I thought I was doing the right thing, my love."
"So Zoya can handle it and I can't?"
"For the millionth time," he groaned, "I don't care about Zoya."
"I only care about you and I know you can handle it. I just didn't want you to. You deserve happiness and peaceful life and I know it's impossible to have in this saints' forsaken country but I can at least try." His eyes lowered in shame and his confession sent a pang through your heart. You took a moment to take in what he said.
Never had you thought about the possibility of Nikolai's distance was a form of protection. You were a soldier of the Second Army, after all. But being a queen, especially a Grisha one, was a delicate thing.
It was the first time in history that something like this happened. Nikolai's worries were not unfounded since even after the destruction of the Fold, anti-Grisha movements were spreading fast.
It was sad to see the General's attempt of assuring safety for Grisha, provoking exactly the opposite thing.
"Oh, Kolya," returning his grip, you leaned towards him, "I just want a life with you by my side."
"As do I. I want you always and forever but above all, I want you safe. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, you know it right?"
"I just ask that you tell me the truth and let me play the role I've been given."
"It's not going to be easy. People at court-"
"I know. That's why I'm here. Emil's been teaching."
"Well, no more. I'm going to take care of it from now on."
"Is this a promise or a threat?"
"Rest assured my love, the difference between the two is almost nonexistent." He flashed you a smirk and you couldn't help but smile at him. Here it was, your beloved Nikolai.
"Things are going to change, aren't they?" you murmured softly as he gently rested his forehead against yours.
"We're going to show everyone what a "power couple" is." Here was his promise. Sealed with the gentlest nudging of his nose to yours. The action made you smile and your heart soar. You missed these little moments of intimacy with him.
One of his hands came to cradle your face as the other kept hold of your left hand. Your rings softly clicked as they touched. A form of reassurance.
"I love you, y/n."
"And I you, Kolya."
You were completely lost in your little bubble, even more so when Nikolai's lips finally met yours, that you had forgotten where you were. And that there was an embarrassed Kirigin outside the door waiting for the right moment to come in with tea.
2K notes · View notes
watchmegetobsessed · 4 years
Text
Hey Angel - Harry Styles
a/n: since i had so much time on my hand at work lately (not anymore unfortunately) i used it wisely and cooked up this PA themed fic bc i absolutely love this trope. it’s lengthy and kinda emotional? kinda, lol. hope you’ll like it and as always, feedback is much appreciated!!
warning: sexual content
word count: 11.5k
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Harry likes to pretend he is tall enough to comfortably rest his chin on the top of your head when he stands behind you, but that’s not true. He has to push himself a little to his tippy toes and push you down at the same time to fit his chin above you, his arms weighing down on your shoulders. You stopped arguing him that you need to push your hips forward when he does this so you don’t carry his whole weight.
“Tha’s rude, you do not have to do tha’!” he defended himself every time you brought up, so you just stopped.
Now as you watch the game of air hockey unfold in front of you, a half empty pint in your hand, you don’t even budge when you feel a chiseled chin resting on the top of your head, you push your hips forward without a second thought to shorten your height. You catch a glimpse of a tattooed forearm on your shoulder, Harry’s chest presses against your back gently.
He doesn’t stay in this position too long, it’s making it hard to drink so soon enough, he wraps his left arm around your shoulders, coming to stand next to you, sipping on his tequila on the rocks.
“Hey you,” you smile at him as he gives you a side look, a boyish smirk tugging on his pink lips. “Everything alright?”
“Everything is fine.”
“You need something? How much have you had to drink?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows, looking down at his glass that was certainly full when you last saw him about ten minutes ago.
“Shush, stop pretending like you’re working,” he waves at your face, his words melting together, definitely thanks to the alcohol he has consumed tonight.
“I know I’m not working, I’m just tryna’ be your friend and look out for you.” Bringing your own drink up to your lips, you give him a look, but he just smirks at you playfully.
“Uh-huh, whatever. Don’t worry about me.”
“I always worry about you, H,” you sigh dramatically and it makes him laugh with his head falling back.
“Is this the part where you tell me I’m some spoiled brat celebrity you ‘ave to babysit for your living? And that I always do ridiculous shit so you ‘ave to keep an eye on me at all times?”
You can’t push your smile down at how far this statement is from reality. You just like to tease him about being a typical, asshole rockstar when he is literally your favorite person in the world without a doubt.
“Oh Angel, you can’t fool me,” he cackles, squeezing you to his side before taking another sip from his drink.
“Wouldn’t even try to,” you mumble with an amused smile. “Havin’ fun, birthday boy?” you ask, leaning into his side. You would never admit, but you love how touchy Harry can get sometimes, not really caring about physical boundaries, especially when he drinks. The hugs, the squeezes, the touches, they always make your heart flutter even after knowing him for years.
“I’m havin’ a blast. What about you?”
“What about me? It’s not my birthday,” you chuckle shortly.
“So what? I can’t make sure you’re enjoying your night?” he frowns at you dramatically that just makes you laugh.
“I’m having a great night. It’s just that my boss keeps coming after me even though I’m supposed to be off the clock.”
You peek up at him to see the grin on his face at your teasing. The dynamic between the two of you has been like this since day one. The constant bickering and teasing is what really brought the two of you close, you are so similar, it’s like you can see a male version of yourself when you look at him.
“Tell the dude to fuck off,” he mumbles into his drink and you bump your hip against him, but he just holds you tight to his side as an answer.
Soon enough, Harry joins the game and you watch him play from the side, obviously cheering on his opponent to annoy him, earning some pretty dirty looks from him whenever they score against him and you let out a “woho!” in victory.
“Y’know, it’s not too nice to cheer against the birthday boy, is it?” he calls you out when the table is taken by someone else and he joins you at the side again.
“Am I not allowed to choose who I want to cheer to?” you ask with a faked puzzled look and he presses his lips into a thin line, glaring down at you intently.
“Don’t test me, Angel,” he grumbles into your ear before walking off to join his friends who came out to celebrate with him today.
It’s a pretty lowkey celebration, since he is still in the middle of filming Don’t Worry Darling, so he couldn’t really travel far from the set, but some of his dearest friends were able to come here and celebrate with him and his cast members.
You stand at the bar and your eyes find him every time you scan the place, not able to keep your gaze away from him for too long, he just demands the attention. Or at least yours.
You’ve never met anyone like him. When you got the chance to be his personal assistant four years ago at the very beginning of his solo career, you never thought how he’ll move right into your heart and never leave it. Whether you look at him as your boss or your friend, you can’t deny that he changed your life and you’ve learned so much from him, you can only hope he thinks of you somewhat the same. However you always tell yourself: what could you possibly give for The Harry Styles? He has everything in the whole wide world.
Harry catches you staring and he arches a brow at you, abandoning the conversation he has been in for the past minutes, mouthing you “what’s up, Angel”, his accent thick even without hearing his voice.
He’s been calling you Angel for longer than you can remember. When you asked him why the nickname, he said it’s because One Direction’s song Hey Angel was written about you. It was a fat lie, you haven’t met him when the song was written, but his words still tightened your chest, playing with the thought of Harry writing a song about you.
As cheesy and cliché as it is, you fell for him faster than you’d like to admit. You tried to fight it for a while, convince yourself it’s just a silly crush, but you soon had to realize you outgrew that after the first few weeks working with him. How could you not fall for him? He is everything any woman could wish for and he has you wrapped around his fingers, just like he has half the female population, probably.
You shake your head in his way, not sure how to tell him you just got lost in your thoughts about him. In fact, he occupies your mind pretty much all the time, but he doesn’t have to know about that.
He excuses himself from the table and walks up to you, a slow breath leaving your nose as you watch him approach you.
“Tired?” he asks, stopping in front of you, placing his empty glass to the counter.
“Kinda,” you nod.
“Want to head home soon?”
“Don’t worry about me. I can just call a taxi and go home, you don’t have to come.”
“Don’t be silly, we go to the same place, obviously we’re gonna go home together.”
Since filming has started, Harry and you’ve been sharing a nice apartment near the set. It was his idea to rent a place for the two of you, rather than to stay at a hotel. At first you didn’t think it would be a good idea, but of course, he convinced you to live with him for the months while the movie is being filmed. So now you basically live with Harry, share pretty much all your living space with him, except your bedroom.
“But it’s your birthday, stay as long as you want,” you tell him, not wanting to snatch him away from his friends on his big day.
“We’re filming in the afternoon tomorrow, can’t drag the night too long either way,” he shrugs, trying to make you believe it’s really nothing.
No matter how badly you try to convince him to stay, he doesn’t bulge and starts saying goodbye within an hour, calling the two of you a car to take you home. He is clearly tipsy, but not drunk. Once you’re in the car, Harry’s hand finds yours and he pulls you closer in the backseat until your thighs are pressed together. He curls an arm around your shoulders, holding you tight to his side, sinking down in the seat. You let your head rest on his shoulder, enjoying the closeness of his body, pressing down any worrying thought that usually makes its way to your mind every time Harry gets a little cozier than the usual.
The rational side of your brain knows you should be keeping some distance from him for the sake of your own sanity and emotional health, but you just can’t. Denying these little moments from yourself would be like pure torture and your heart can’t take that for sure.
“What are you thinkin’ about?” he murmurs, his nose nuzzling into your hair and you just shrug your shoulders.
“Nothing,” you mumble your lie.
“Liar, I can hear the gears turning in that pretty head of yours,” he grins down at you as your eyes lock for a moment. Thank God for the darkness in the car, because you can feel your cheeks heating up. The last thing you need is for Harry to see how nervous he can make you feel with just a simple compliment.
“Stop being nosy, you don’t have to know everything all the time.” You poke his side with your elbow, it makes him jump a little before he snuggles back to your side.
“That’s not true, you know I’m entitled to hold every knowledge in the world.” He tries to hide his smirk, but he fails miserably and you just laugh at him with your head falling back to his shoulder.
“Harry Styles, you are something else,” you sigh shaking your head at him.
Arriving home Harry keeps an arm around you as you walk up to the front door, fishing your keys out of your bag since you’d bet Harry didn’t bring his. There’s a chance he hasn’t even used his copy since you’ve been here, he knows you always have yours and you haven’t really left without each other so far, always staying around the other.
“Want to shower first?” he hums, walking inside, his arm leaving your shoulders and though you feel lighter without the extra weight, you wish it was still there.
“Go for it, I’m gonna clean up the mess I made when I got ready earlier,” you tell him, heading into your bedroom where the floor is littered with half your wardrobe from earlier, when you were trying to figure out what to wear for the little outing.
Harry disappears in the shared bathroom and a moment later you hear the water running. You go around your room, picking up the dresses you voted against, placing them back into the wardrobe and then you put away your makeup you left on your bed in your hurry.
“Bathroom is yours!” Harry calls out just when you finish, you hear his bedroom door open and close so you grab a clean oversized t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts before occupying the bathroom.
The warm shower feels nice, it’s been a long day since you started on set, Harry had a few scenes to film before you could leave in the afternoon. You wash away the day, scrub your makeup off and then take off the rest with your wipes once you’re out. You brush your hair and use some lotion for your dry skin before getting dressed and leaving the steamy bathroom.
Padding down the short hallway you hear nothing coming from Harry’s bedroom and you wonder if he’s already asleep, but once you step inside your room you see that he is cozied up on your bed, your covers pulled up to his naked chest, a pillow tucked under his head as he scrolls through his phone so shamelessly, as if it was his own room.
“Did you take the wrong turn in the hallway?” you ask with an arched eyebrow as you throw your dirty clothes to your temporary hamper, which is basically your emptied out suitcase.
“Nope,” he grins smugly, you have to roll your eyes at him. He locks his phone, dropping it to the side table, watching you move around, getting ready for bed and his eyes on your figure feel like they’re burning down on your skin.
“You know, it’s rude to stare,” you comment not even looking at him, but you just know he is still staring at you. Grabbing a hairtie from the little dresses in the corner of your room you reach back to loosely braid your hair, but his voice stops you.
“Wait,” he pleads and you furrow your eyebrows at him. “Can I do it?”
You give him a confused look as he pushes himself up into a sitting position, his green eyes are glimmering from the tiredness and the alcohol he has consumed tonight.
“You want to braid my hair?”
“Yeah,” he nods. You hesitate for a moment but join him on the bed at last, turning your back against him, giving him full control over your hair.
A shiver runs down your spine when you feel his fingers raking through your strands. He is so gentle and careful as you feel him section your hair off to three parts.
“Didn’t know you can braid,” you tell him, eyes fixated on the sheets in front of you.
“Gemma taught me, but I’m not the best at it.”
“So I’ll look atrocious?” you tease him smiling to yourself. He pokes the back of your neck with his fingers before continuing his work.
“You could never look atrocious, even if you tried.”
“And you are such a flirt,” you sigh. Over the years you’ve gotten used to his flirty act, it’s just who he is and though in the beginning your breath always got caught in your throat when he said something cheesy, now you just brush it off, only thinking about his words when you are alone in the night, struggling to fall asleep because you’re once again, thinking about him.
“M’telling the truth. Have I told you how beautiful you looked tonight?”
“Mmm,” you hum. He has told you that you looked pretty when the two of you left and he saw you walk out of your room in your black skinny jeans and flowy sheer top on, your hair loosely curled, but you didn’t really know what to say, so you just smiled at him and it’s the same now. You’re not the best at taking compliments.
“You really did. You always are.”
“And once again, you are such a flirt.”
“Complimenting a pretty woman is being a flirt?” he asks pretending to be offended as he carefully works on your hair and you wish you could see his focused face as he is trying to keep track of the sections between his fingers. At a lack of a witty comeback, you just shrug your shoulders, fumbling with your fingers on your lap.
You both fall silent as he concentrates on your hair and you manage to stop thinking, just focus on how his fingers keep brushing against your back every time he crosses two sections over each other.
“Hairtie, please,” he asks, his hand appearing next to you with his palm upwards. You place it in his hand and he finishes up his masterpiece. “There, it didn’t turn out as bad as I thought,” he comments once he is done. Reaching back you run your fingers over the braid and it feels good, he did a great job.
“Thanks,” you smile at him shyly, turning around. He leans back, making himself comfortable once again and you arch an eyebrow at him. “Need me to walk you back to your room, sir?”
“No, I’m perfectly fine here,” he grins smugly, tugging his arm behind his head as he takes up the right side of the bed.
“You’re planning to sleep here?”
“Please, don’t make me sleep alone on my birthday!” he pouts, giving you those damned puppy eyes. How could you ever say no to him?
“You better not push me off the bed in your sleep,” you mumble before getting under the covers.
You turn off the bedside lamp and the two of you start moving around, finding a comfortable pose to sleep in and you end up facing each other on your sides, Harry’s face squished into the pillow as his eyes are roaming over the hand you have laid between your faces.
His fingers start to inch towards yours until he hooks his pinky with yours, the touch sending a warm feeling down your spine.
“I hate sleeping alone,” he mumbles into the semi-darkness.
“Why?”
“Don’t you like it when there’s someone next to you? When you wake up and you’re not alone?”
“I like it, but I don’t hate sleeping alone either,” you tell him as your eyes fall to your linked pinky fingers. “Why do you hate it? You have the bed all to yourself, and there’s no chance of waking up to someone snoring or talking in their sleep.”
He huffs out a laugh as he buries his head deeper into the pillow.
“It makes me feel lonely. Which is ridiculous, because I’m never alone.”
“But lonely and alone are not the same, so it’s not ridiculous. You can feel lonely when you’re not alone.”
“I know,” he nods, his eyes watching your linked fingers intently, before he moves his hand so it’s now covering yours, his warm palm wrapping around your much smaller hand. “I’m never lonely with you, though.”
“So… you are only lonely when you’re sleeping or in the bathroom, because we basically spend every moment of the day together.” You smirk at him and see his dimple form in his cheek as he smiles at you nodding.
“That’s right. We are like glued together.”
“How aren’t we sick of each other already?”
“That’s never gonna happen.”
“You sure about that?” You raise your eyebrows at him with an amused smile, he is too sure about that answer.
“One hundred percent. You’re my favorite person.”
“Is that what you tell everyone?”
He gives you a look, but you just chuckle, sinking further into your pillow. His fingers start playing with your hand as he draws a deep breath.
“I only tell this to m’ mum and Gemma. No one else.”
Your heart starts racing at the thought of him seeing you on the same level as his closest family. You know how much his mum and sister mean to him, but you never thought you are anywhere near them in his eyes.
“You’re my favorite person too,” you whisper as your eyes meet over your joined hands. He smiles at you warmly, his floppy curls falling into his forehead and you want to run your fingers through them, feel how soft they are under your touch. Harry scoots closer, your faces only a few inches away from each other as he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
For a moment you just watch him, thinking how good it feels to have him in your bed. How amazing it is to end the day with him so close to you. You wish all days would end like this, you wouldn’t have another bad day with him next to you.
Lying there and watching him slowly fall asleep, his hand still on yours, the bitter thought eats itself into your mind that he is only here because he feels lonely and wanted to be close to someone, not you particularly. And though you’re glad it’s you he ended up next to, you try not to get too accustomed to the feeling, because you’re just a temporary fix to his loneliness.
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The door to Harry’s trailer opens and he walks in wearing his blue dress pants and crispy white dress shirt, fumbling with the top buttons to undo them. You glance up at him from your laptop where you’ve been working on his schedule for the upcoming weeks while he was filming.
“Hey, how did it go?” you ask as he places his water bottle to the vanity and then sits in the chair he spends his mornings in while his hair is being styled and tattoos are covered.
“Good. Messed up only a few times. Whacha’ working on?”
“Just your schedule, I’ll email it to you when I’m done, though you never check it.”
“Hey, I do check it! I like your color coding. I just suck at using it and you’re always here to remind me of the important stuff.”
You roll your eyes, continuing to type away on your keyboard as he moves around, having a snack and texting back people.
“Florence is coming over for a little after we’re done. We can order something,” he speaks up grabbing your attention again.
“Cool,” you nod with a small smile. “Is she staying the night?”
“No, we just thought it would be nice to hang out a little without dressed like this,” he chuckles looking down at himself.
“What’s wrong with Jack’s clothes? You look neat.”
“Do I?” he cocks an eyebrow cheekily, placing his hands to his hips as he looks down at you.
“Yeah. It’s a nice change after all the grandpa clothes,” you tease him and he gasps pretending to be offended at your words, though you both know you have nothing against his style. In fact, you love how he just wears whatever he wants, not caring what others would think.
“Watch your mouth or you can’t wear my bode jacket again,” he warns you holding up his pointing finger, shaking it at you, but you just chuckle at him, finishing up what you’ve been working on before shutting the laptop down.
“How long until you’re done?”
“Just a few more scenes. I think we can leave in about two hours.”
“Alright.”
“You done working?”
“Mhm, for now.”
“Come and watch the filming. You’re always so hidden in here.”
“Because I always have work to do,” you point out, putting the laptop to the side from your lap.
“Yeah, but you’re done now, so come out and watch me be the next Leonardo DiCaprio,” he smugly tells you, and it makes you roll your eyes at him.
“You’re so humble, H. Is something that comes with the age?” you tease him standing up from the small sofa, grabbing your phone from the table.
“You’ll find out in a year,” he smirks back as you follow him out of the trailer, back to the set.
Later that day you, Florence and Harry are chilling back at your apartment, munching on the pizza you ordered, watching some documentary on Netflix, just enjoying a lazy evening. You’ve become quite close with Florence, her personality is a lot like yours so you got along well from the beginning, the three of you often do things together outside of set.
You and Harry are sharing the couch while Florence is curled up on the loveseat. The temperature at the apartment is always nice, but you often catch yourself feeling a little cold in the evening, but it has more to do with the tiredness rather than with the heating of the place. When you pull your legs underneath you to warm your feet, Harry notices the action and knows right away that you’re starting to feel cold as always. Reaching down he grabs a blanket from the basket next to the couch and he wraps an arm around you, pulling you closer to him.
“Come ‘ere,” he mumbles, draping the blanket over the two of you. You shuffle closer to him, making yourself comfortable at his side as he makes sure you’re fully tugged in. Then he leaves an arm around you, his fingers gently grazing your shoulder as he turns his attention back at the movie.
Glancing over at Florence you see the puzzled look on her, but you ignore it biting into your bottom lip, turning back to watch the movie though you’re having a hard time focusing. All you can think about is Harry’s touch on you.
It’s almost midnight when Florence calls herself a taxi. Harry picks up the glasses you used and volunteers to wash them, leaving you and Florence alone in the living room.
“So, what’s up with you and Harry?” she questions right away without beating around the bush.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that you two has always been close, but now… it seems all too… couple-like.” She narrows her eyes at you, hands on her hips, looking like a mother questioning her daughter.
“Don’t be silly.”
“I’m not,” she scoffs. Then you pretend to be busy with folding the blanket, but you can feel her intent stare on you before she speaks up again. “You like him, don’t you?”
“What?” you huff with a not too Oscar-worthy expression on your face that was supposed to hide the panic in you. “Well of course I like him, he is my friend and boss.”
“But not just like that. You like like him.”
“Florence,” you sigh, just when Harry walks out of the kitchen, oblivious to the conversation that he just interrupted.
“You sure you don’t want to spend the night?” he politely asks her, but she just shakes her head.
“I’m not really up for spending the night on the couch.”
“You wouldn’t have to, you can sleep in my bed,” he simply offers and something is telling you he shouldn’t open his mouth again.
“You’re not taking the couch because of me.”
“I wouldn’t, I usually sleep at Y/N’s,” he states as if it was nothing, but you instantly freeze.
Yes, ever since his birthday he has spent way more nights in your bed than in his own, always raving to you how well he can sleep when you’re next to him and you couldn’t bear the thought of him feeling lonely, so you’ve been letting him occupy half of your bed through the nights. He usually holds your hand falling asleep and then you wake up tangled together, sometimes he is cuddling you from behind, other times you’re the one curled up to his side. He treats it so casually, like it really is nothing, he just always goes on his day when you wake up so you decided to not make it into a big deal either.
Florence gives you a wide eyed look that you try hard to ignore, while Harry is so oblivious to what he just caused with his statement.
“I uhh—thanks but I’m fine going home. Besides, I think my car is already here. See you guys on set tomorrow. Y/N?” she calls out walking towards the front door.
“Hm?”
“We’ll talk later,” she tells you and it’s a strong message that she won’t just leave it at that.
“Uh, yeah, sure,” you nod awkwardly, waving her goodbye.
You and Harry clean up together and as always, he is the first one to use the bathroom and by the time you’re done, he is in your bed, waiting for you to join him. You don’t comment on his presence anymore, part of you afraid he would stop spending the night in your bed and you definitely don’t want that. Not much is left from filming, meaning that soon you are forced to go home where you and Harry do not live at the same place so you’re gonna have to sleep alone, like you did before. Only now you are way too hooked on the feeling of having him in your bed, even if it’s not in the way you truly want, it’s better than nothing.
The moment you get under the sheets, Harry reaches out and pulls you to his side. He hasn’t done this often when you went to sleep, only sneaking some small touches, but you don’t mind him being a little extra clingy.
“Filming is almost over,” you mumble into his chest, your hand lazily resting where his ribcage ends in his chest.
“Mhm.” There’s a short silence before he speaks up again. “What about it, Angel?”
“It’s just that it’s going to be weird going home. I got used to living here.” It’s your way saying that you’re gonna miss having him around all the time, but you’re not sure if he understands the hint. It doesn’t really matter anyway.
“You like cramped together with me?” he chuckles lowly.
“Was kinda nice,” you smile.
“Remember how you threatened me to throw my shit out if I leave my dirty clothes on the floor?”
“I do,” you smirk, thinking back to the conversation where you agreed to live with him while he is filming. “Didn’t find any clothes on the floor, so you get an A for that.”
“Wow, was this… a compliment?”
“Shut up, I always compliment you!” you laugh smacking his chest gently.
“Oh, no. You don’t compliment, you just tell me when I managed not to fuck something up,” he corrects you and your cheeks are heating up about how well he knows you.
“Those are compliments in my book, don’t be greedy.”
“M’not. I love how grounded you keep me with treating me like this.”
“Like what?” you ask furrowing your eyebrows.
“Like a normal person. With you, I don’t have to be afraid that I earn something because of who I am. You give no shit about my name, you always keep me in check and I appreciate that.”
“Can’t let you have a too big of a head,” you smirk, closing your eyes. He laughs with you, squeezing you a little before you both fall into silence, drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms.
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You’ve managed to avoid Florence in the past few days. Her burning look has been making you way too nervous, you know she wants to know more about what’s going on between you and Harry, but truth to be told, you have no idea what to tell her.
Yeah, I’m definitely in love with him and we’ve been sharing a bed for a few weeks because he feels lonely alone at night, so he uses me to ease the feeling while I just let him because as I said, I’m in love with the man.
No, you can’t tell her that.
Now there’s only two days left from filming, meaning that only two more nights to spend with Harry and it’s making you a nervous wreck to think about sleeping alone in your bedroom.
You round the corner in the maze of the trailers after a phone call you had with Jeff when you run out of luck and bump right into Florence.
“I’ve been looking for you, Y/N. Come have lunch with me in my trailer,” she smiles sweetly, grabbing you by your hand so you can’t escape her this time.
“Oh I wanted to call—“
“Do it later,” she simply cuts you off.
Soon, you find yourself in her trailer as she eats her burger while she eyes you with suspicion.
“So, you and Harry sleep together?”
“Well, not like that. We really just sleep in the same bed.”
“Oh, makes perfect sense, sleeping in the same bed as your boss. Very casual.”
“Don’t make it sound so weird,” you frown at her words. You definitely don’t see Harry as your boss. You do work for him, but it never felt like he stands anywhere above you, the two of you have always been equal even before you became close friends.
“You gotta admit it’s pretty unusual,” she points out and you just look away from her. “So let’s talk about how you’re in love with him.”
“What? I never said that!” you protest, but she just gives you a look that says ‘cut the crap, girl’ and you know there’s no use to try to trick her, she sees right through you. “Don’t fucking look at me like that, I have enough shit on my plate without your judgment.”
“Oh, I’m not judging you. I’m just wondering why you two are not together already.”
You practically snort at her statement, finding it quite absurd and ridiculous.
“What? You two are perfect for each other and I’m pretty sure Harry loves you too.”
“Yeah, as a friend.”
“That’s not how friends act, Y/N. He wouldn’t beg himself into your bed every night if he was just your friend.”
“He is just lonely. He doesn’t need me, just someone to be with him.”
“That’s bullshit,” she scoffs. “You two are just being idiots.” Just as you are about to answer, your phone starts ringing. Harry’s smiley face appears on the screen, making you extremely nervous because of the conversation you are having with Florence.
“Hey,” you breathe out answering the call.
“Hey, where are you?”
“Just, talking with Florence. What’s up?”
“I got an email from Jeff and I have some questions.”
“I’ll be there in a sec.”
“Thank you Angel,” he hums before ending the call.
“I gotta go. Please don’t… bring any of this up for Harry,” you ask Florence, heading to the exit.
“You’ve gotta sort your shit out. This is not ideal, Y/N.”
“I know it,” you growl under your breath, leaving the trailer. You chew on your bottom lip nervously as you march back to Harry’s trailer. You feel so confused and anxious about this whole situation and the worst thing is that you have no idea what to do about it. Telling him how you feel seems like a stupid idea, but mostly because you’re terrified of rejection. What if it all meant nothing to him? If you were right and he is just lonely and uses you to help himself, it has nothing to do with you. You wouldn’t survive the heartbreak it would give you if he told you he doesn’t see you more than just a friend.
As you walk into his trailer he is sitting on the sofa with his phone in his hands. He glances up at you, a warm smile tugging on his lips as you take a deep breath, feeling very much out of place suddenly. Unfortunately, he immediately senses your discomfort.
“Everything alright, Angel?”
Angel. This nickname could make your knees go weak in a heartbeat and you hate how much effect it has on you. Especially in this state of mind you’re currently in.
“I just…” You shake your head shutting your eyes. “Why do you keep calling me that?” you ask, sounding way more desperate than you intended to. Harry puts his phone aside, looking a little puzzled at your sudden weird act, but he seems more worried for you.
“I, uhh—“
“And don’t tell me it’s because Hey Angel is about me. We didn’t know each other back then.”
You have no idea where this is coming from or why you even questioned him about it all of a sudden, but Florence just totally threw you off with what she just said. Harry stares back at you, probably vigorously looking for the reason why you are acting up now, but luckily, he doesn’t try to turn it into a joke as always.
“I call you Angel, because you remind me of the song. It wasn’t written about you, but the lyrics match up with… you.”
“What?” you ask in confusion.
“I wish I could be more like you, do you wish you could be more like me?” he quotes the song, not singing the words, simply just talking them as he stares back at you. “I see you at the bar, at the edge of my bed, backseat of my car, in the back of my head,” he continues and you feel your throat doing dry just from the way he softly speaks, standing only a few feet away from you. “I come alive when I hear your voice, it’s a beautiful sound, it’s a beautiful noise.”
You never really gave it another thought, but now that he has told you this, it hit you hard in the chest. You weren’t expecting, especially because those lines are rather meaningful, to you at least.
“I thought of it once not long after we first met and thought calling you Angel would suit you. Do you mind it? I can just… stop calling you that if you don’t like it.”
You shake your head. You never want him to stop calling you that even if it’s not that meaningful for him. If it’s just some game. It’s great to know that something reminded him of you.
“No, it’s… it’s alright.” Your voice is small, barely more than just a whisper. It’s a little too much at once. Florence’s words are still stuck in your head, and what he just said has felt like he just gripped your heart even if he doesn’t know.
You take a shaky breath, forcing yourself to come back from this hazy state of mind.
“So, what about that email?”
“You alright?” Reaching forward he takes your hand and you try not to flinch at his touch, just smile at him nodding.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” He squeezes your hand before dropping it and he luckily doesn’t ask any more questions.
 You stay oddly quiet for the rest of the day and Harry surely knows something is wrong, but he respects you enough not to bug you about it any longer. He just stays close to you as much as he can, trying his best to take your mind off of whatever keeps you occupied.
On the way home you and Harry drop by a supermarket, buy some quick dinner, not wanting to stack the fridge when you’re leaving so soon. Then you sit in the living room, eating and watching some random movie that’s on TV. You snuggle to his side on the couch naturally, he doesn’t even have to pull you close this time. The thought of having left only one more night in the apartment makes you want to sue every little moment you have left in this bubble.
Harry makes you have a shower first tonight and when you come out from the bathroom, your bed is already nicely made, inviting you warmly. He is quick to finish with his shower and joins you in bed barely five minutes later. You move towards each other instantly, his arms curling around your form soothingly as you make yourself comfortable, melted into his embrace. You feel his lips pressing against your forehead and you almost start crying at the small action.
“Angel, I don’t know what has upset you, but I’m here for you, alright? You’re not alone,” he murmurs softly.
“I know,” you whisper. “Thank you.”
“No need to thank me. I would do anything for you, just like you do so much for me. You’ve got me.”
I wish, you think to yourself. You have him, but not the way you’ve been desiring. His hand moves to cup your face as he lifts your head so you are looking into his eyes in the darkened room, but there’s enough light coming through the window that you see his features. He runs his thumb across your cheek, gently caressing your skin and everywhere he touches you, it feels like your body is in flames. This something has been building up inside you and now you’re not sure how long you’ll be able to control yourself. And just as you think about how you really should put some distance between the two of you so you won’t regret it later, the unexpected happens.
Harry pulls you up just enough so when he moves his head he is able to place his lips on yours, kissing you out of the blue. His lips feel so soft, so fitting on your mouth, you let out a whimper when he goes further than just a gentle kiss, taking your bottom lip between his properly. It’s an out of world experience, you’ve imagined it so many times, but you never thought it would actually happen and now that it is very much happening, your whole mind goes blank and for a split second… everything feels right. You kiss him back with fever and with each passing moment the kiss grows more passionate and way hungrier than how it started. Harry’s arm tightens around you, almost pulling you on top of him and you can’t make yourself stop, not that you want to.
With a little force, Harry pushes the two of you around so now you’re lying on the mattress and he holds himself up above you, his lips never disconnecting from yours. He licks into your mouth, pulling and tugging on your lips, making your whole body go weak just for him.
But then, as if reality hit you in the head, you realize what’s happening.
“Harry,” you gasp pulling back, gasping for air. “This—We…”
“Angel, let me take care of you. Please,” he begs out of breath.
“What…”
“I want to make you feel good. I want to take care of you, please let me.” He sounds so desperate, like he would do anything for this and you are not strong enough to deny it from him.
It’s just his pity. He’s been using you for his needs, now he wants to give some back, it’s nothing more, you think to yourself. It can’t be more.
You lack the willpower to make a rational decision, so as you stare up into his eyes that appear so dark due to the lack of proper lighting, you just nod before he leans down and kisses you again.
He holds himself up on one arm while his free hand wanders down your body, touching you at places you have never felt him before. He palms your left breast, squeezing it gently and it makes you moan into his mouth before his hand moves down the curve of your waist until it reaches your sleeping shorts. Your body is burning for him and you can’t stop it from reacting to everything he does. You buckle your hips up when you feel his fingers gently graze along your pubic bone, even though you’re still fully clothed.
“What do you want me to do, Angel? I’ll do anything you want me to,” he pants between kisses as his hand moves to cup your heated core, making you moan again from the sensation of his touch there.
“I need you,” is all you manage to get out.
“I’m right here. You got me. What do you want me to do? Please, tell me, Angel,” he whines, forehead pressed against yours and his hips fall, pressing against your thigh, making you realize how excited he has gotten. His erection is hard under the fabric of his boxers, almost aching to be freed. There’s no way you can take any teasing or a long foreplay. You need him inside you now before you burst.
“Harry, I need you inside me. Please,” you whimper, almost cry, before he kisses you again, hard and demanding as he simply pushes your shorts down, revealing your naked sex since you don’t wear any underwear to bed. You grab the waistband of his boxers too and push it down until he can wiggle his legs out of them, leaving him completely naked in your bed while you still have a top covering your upper body, however he is quick to change that. He grabs the hem and starts pulling it off, your hands helping him so a few moments later you’re completely naked underneath him.
“Fuck, Angel,” he breathes out, his perfect, pink lips attacking the side of your throat, kissing and nibbling on the skin, going down to your breasts, giving the same amount of attention to both while you turn into jelly under his touch. lacing your fingers through his hair you cry out his name as you can feel him leaving a mark on your left breast, his tongue swirling against the spot he just completely destroyed before he brings himself back up so he can kiss you again and again with so much hunger, it’s hard to tell where you end and where he starts. Everything melts together and you’re such a mess in every possible way.
His hand gently reaches down between your legs and parts your shaking thighs before he cups you drenched pussy, his middle finger sliding between your folds, a shameless moan slipping from your mouth, right into his as your lips are still attached.
“So wet, I can’t wait to make you feel good, baby. Let me make you feel good.”
“Harry, just… please,” you pant, surely feeling yourself lose the last bits of your nerves.
“D’you have a condom?” he asks, head lifting up a bit so he can look into your eyes.
“I-In my, um, the makeup bag,” you try to explain gesturing towards your dresser where your makeup bag sits on top, two condoms somewhere inside it. Harry pecks your lips before pulling away from you, the lack of his weight on top of you making you shiver.
He digs into the bag until he finds what he’s been looking for, tearing the packaging open with his teeth and he rolls it on while he walks back, not wasting another moment. You cling onto him like a koala bear once he is back in bed, his massive body covering you again.
“Just tell me how you like it, I’ll do anything,” he mumbles against your shivering lips as he pushes the head in first, stopping for a second before the rest of his cock buries inside you, completely taking your breath away. He is bigger than anyone you’ve ever been with, filling up every inch of you, your walls stretching around him as he stills once he is all the way inside you.
This is it. This is the moment you’ve imagined oh so many times, feeling him the closest possible, his cock buried inside you, his cheek pressed against yours as he holds himself up on top of you. Years of yearning and endless nights when you imagined your hand was his… and now it’s your reality. And though you know it’s gonna change everything, you can’t tell yourself to stop.
Harry lifts his head, pecking your lips gently, calling you Angel over and over again as he starts moving, the friction between your legs growing with each thrust. He fits inside you so well, you won’t be able to enjoy sex with anyone else now that you’ve experienced it with Harry. All of a sudden, he has become the epitome of your whole life.
“Tell me what you want, Angel. Do you want me to go slow or fast? Tell me how to make you feel good.” His lips brush against yours with each word while you’re just trying to catch your breath, fingers digging into his back, the euphoria building up inside you gradually.
“A little faster,” you breathe out, speaking feels like a hard task at the moment. Harry picks his pace up, finding just the right rhythm that makes you wrap your legs around his waist so he can go even deeper with each thrust he makes.
“Look at me, Angel. Let me see your eyes,” he begs, his hand cupping your cheek. He runs his thumb along the line of your lower lip before he takes it between his lips, tugging on it gently, kissing you like you’re his last breath on Earth. He is devouring you, body melts together with yours, all your senses are strictly focused on him. He is all you see, hear, feel and taste.
Your gaze meets his and the way he looks at you, like you’re his whole entire world, it makes your eyes tear up. You want it to be true, you want it to be reality, you want it to be more than just about needs and satisfaction, but it’s not and your consciousness is not letting you believe otherwise.
“Oh Angel,” he softly hums, wiping away a tear that escaped the corner of your eye and ran down the side of your face. Keeping up his rhythm he kisses along your jawline, your cheek, your lips, the side of your face, the bridge of your nose, everywhere he can before returning to your lips with a hungry, passion filled kiss.
“Harry…” you whimper, holding your thighs tighter around his waist as you feel yourself nearing the edge.
“Let it go for me, Angel. I wanna see you feel good, cum for me,” he tells you, eyes never leaving yours as you are ready to burst underneath him.
“Harry, I-I need you!” The words fall from your lips as a desperate beg, arms wrapping around his torso tight, as if he could disappear from your embrace any moment.
“I’m right here, Angel. Right here,” he soothes you, kissing your lips sweetly as proof that he is not just a trick your mind is playing on you. “Are you close, baby? Are you gonna cum for me?”
“Yes! Yes!” you pant, losing control over your body and all your senses. It’s gonna be intense, you can tell and it hasn’t even started yet, you just know it’ll shake you to the core.
“Good girl. Let me make you feel good.” “So good,” you breathe out before Harry occupies your lips with his once again.
It doesn’t take long. He keeps thrusting in the perfect angle and it throws you right over the edge. Harry demands you look him in the eyes when your orgasm wash you over and the intensity of it all almost makes you cry again. You burst, lose yourself under him, screaming his name as if you were praying to all higher forces. In a way, you are, because for a moment you really think you completely vanish from this world.
Harry follows you just a few more thrusts later, falling out of his rhythm as he grunts and moans your name, face buried into the crook of your neck while you tug on his hair, the feeling of his soft locks between your fingers is like pure heaven.
He stills, but stays inside you as he looks up, his eyes filled with satisfaction and contentment as he cups your face again, kissing you long, taking his time with you.
As you come off your high and the clouds of euphoria clears off, reality sets in more painfully than ever. Your limbs are paralyzed and you feel like you are outside your own body, just watching everything happen as if you were a third person in the room. Harry rolls to the side, chest heaving wildly as he is trying to regulate himself. Once he is able to breathe without panting, he pecks your shoulder gently and makes a quick round to the bathroom. You hear water running and then his feet padding on the floor, but you can’t bring yourself to move, you just lie there, completely drained out. It doesn’t change even when Harry gently cleans you off with a damp washing cloth, throwing it to the side to take care of it in the morning. He pulls the covers over the two of you and scoops you into his arms. You manage to bring your arm up to his chest as your head rests on his shoulder. His fingers are dancing up and down your arm, his steady breathing keeping your overcrowded head grounded. And then… he starts singing so softly, it’s almost just a whisper.
“Hey Angel, oh, I wish I could be more like you. Do you wish you could be more like me?”
Your eyes shut close, the damn tears flooding again, but you keep your sobs drowned in your throat. Instead you force yourself to sleep and hope you live to see the morning, because you feel like your heart is about to give up on you.
 When you wake up, you genuinely feel like you’ve drunk through last night and now have the worst hangover. It’s like you’ve been hit on the head with a chair. You slowly come to your senses and realize that you’re completely naked in bed and there’s a body curled to your side, equally naked.
The shock sets in first because you realize, once again, that what happened last night wasn’t just a fever dream, it actually happened. And then you basically jump out of bed when you look at the small digital clock on the bedside and see that the two of you have ten minutes to leave if you don’t want to be late to the last day of filming.
“Harry! Harry get up!” you smack him, kicking the covers off and grabbing your top and shorts from the floor, quickly putting them on. The man in talk growls, just rolling to his back without even opening his eyes. “Harry damn it! We have ten minutes or you’ll be late!” you snap at him and it somewhat wakes him up. With furrowed eyebrows at puckered lips, he lifts his head up and looks around.
Those lips were kissing you last night.
“What?” he mumbles in confusion.
“We overslept, get up. We have… eight minutes left.”
“Shit,” he mumbles under his breath, finally getting out of bed, reaching for his boxers.
It’s a shitshow as the two of you try to get ready on time and though you are running just a few minutes late, the driver of the taxi manages to speed down the streets fast enough that you arrive to set just in time.
During the whole ride, you feel Harry’s burning eyes on you, but thank God, you get a call from Jeffrey the moment you get into the car and it lasts the whole ride so you don’t have to talk with him about what happened last night.
“Y/N,” he tries when you’re still on the phone and he is already done with hair and makeup, heading to set to start filming.
“What?” you mouth at him.
“Can we talk later?”
“I’m busy. Go, I’m sure they are waiting for you,” you whisper to him and he looks so disappointed, but he nods and walks away. Your heart breaks as you lower the phone. You have been out of the call for some time, just didn’t want to talk to him.
Quite frankly, you’re not ready to talk to him about what happened last night. You don’t want to hear him say that he was just trying to help you out last night, that it wasn’t anything serious, just some messing around. It was just two people trying not to feel lonely.
Walking back into his trailer you can feel your chest tightening, a sharp pain shooting right into your heart the more you think about him. It was a mistake, you shouldn’t have done it because you are the one with the feelings and now you are the one struggling with the consequences of your little get together.
The more you think about it, the worse it gets and you feel like you’re about to suffocate. You need to get out of here, there’s no way you can face him now.
It all happens so fast. Before you can even second guess your decision, you’re on your way back to the apartment to pack all your stuff and get on the first flight back home. You need to put distance between you and him, spending one more night in the same apartment would make you go nuts. So while Harry is filming, completely oblivious to what you’re doing, you pack up your room as fast as possible and head to the airport to hop on the plane that leaves at four pm.
With a racing heart you check all your baggage in and make it through security when Harry first calls you. At first, you want to ignore it, but then you find yourself swiping your thumb across the screen.
“Hey,” you shortly greet him.
“Hey, where are you? Have been looking for you everywhere.” “I um… I’m at the airport,” you answer and the silence on the other end is deafening for a moment.
“You are at the what?” he then snaps.
“I had a, um, kind of emergency, so I’m heading back home now. Sorry, I would have called you, but didn’t know when you’d be off set.”
“You fucking packed and left already? You’re really at the airport?” He is fuming, Raging. You can tell he is pacing in the trailer, vigorously running his fingers through his hair, ruining it without a care. You almost feel guilty, but then again, you just know facing him now would break you. You’ll get back to him when you’ve pulled your shit together.
“I am, calm down, alright? Not a big deal.” “You just left on our last day here without a fucking word! And when am I seeing you again?”
“I, uhh—I need to be home for a while, but you’ll be fine. I’ll stay in touch with you in email and text.”
“Fucking text? Email?” he is barking now. Good thing you are not there because it would be a disaster. “Y/N, you can’t be serious. We-we were supposed to talk. You can’t just fucking disappear like this.”
“We’ll talk, alright?”
“When?”
“Later,” you simply tell him at a loss for a better answer. Hopefully, never, you think to yourself, but don’t say it out loud.
“Okay, you’re not doing this. Don’t you dare get on a plane, I’m going to the airport right now. You’re not leaving.”
“Well, I am and you’re not coming here,” you clap back, but you can already hear him moving around, probably gathering his stuff so he can leave right away.
“Swear to God if you get on that plane, I’m—“ He cuts himself off, no idea what to really say and you just sigh, closing your eyes. People rush by you and as you glance at the big screen you see that your plane is boarding.
“Harry, just… it’ll be better like this, alright? You’ll be fine, I’ll see you… when I see you. Have fun on your last day on set.”
You end the call before he could get another word out and put it on airplane mode right away as you grab your backpack and head to your gate.
Using your time on the plane wisely, you put together a very detailed schedule for Harry so he knows everything about his next few weeks and you can minimize your contact with him. You even set up a bunch of reminders in his calendar so he won’t miss his appointments.
When you set feet on the ground again, you expect the distance between you and Harry to feel comforting and freeing, but it’s the opposite. An ache in your chest is getting heavier as you get yourself a taxi and head home, feeling more alone than ever in your life.
Your home doesn’t feel like a home. Not without that one person who could make any place your home, but you can’t see him right now, not until you learn how to exist around him without the urge to faint.
Going to bed alone is pure torture. Every moment you are waiting to hear Harry shuffling around in the apartment, you miss his little snorts when he is watching the TV, his singing coming from the shower, but most importantly, you miss having him so close to you in bed. Now that you’re lying on your own, your bed feels so cold, it brings you tears as reality sets in. You miss him. You miss him more than anything and you can’t imagine a time when it won’t hurt anymore.
The crying pushes you into a shallow slumber sometime in the middle of the night, however, you’re rudely shaken back to consciousness when you hear someone banging on your door like crazy, pushing the doorbell constantly.
“Jesus fuck,” you mumble with a grimace, pulling a hoodie on as you make your way to the door hazily, probably still half asleep because you open the door without checking who it is through the peephole and you end up staring up at none other than Harry. “What the—What are you doing here?” you breathe out, panic sets in fast and your hands start shaking at the sight of him.
Harry steps inside without invitation and closes the door behind him, a stern expression on his handsome face.
“Y/N, what the fuck were you thinking when you left like that?”
“I-I told you, it was an emergency.”
“What kind of emergency? Because I called your mom and sisters, they all said nothing happened in the family, so what could possibly happen that needed you here immediately?”
“I don’t have to explain shit to you.” Shaking your head you try to step back to put some distance between the two of you, but he doesn’t let you, taking a step forward at the same time.
“Well I think we have a lot to talk about after last night, don’t you think?”
“I don’t want to talk,” you shake your head biting into your bottom lip. This wasn’t supposed to happen, why couldn’t he just stay where he was? “How did you even get here so fast?”
“Left as soon as we wrapped.”
“Where are all your stuff?”
“Left everything there, I’ll just go back and pack it up, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that for a girl who genuinely hates any form of working out, you ran pretty fast from you today.”
Any other day you would have laughed at his comparison, but not today. You just stand there, chewing on the inside of your cheeks as you try to figure out what to do or say. You were not ready to face him so soon.
“What do you want me to say?” you ask desperately, throwing your hands into the air.
“Tell me what it meant for you,” he calmly answers and you want to shake him. How is he so peaceful?
“No,” you shake your head. “I’m not doing this to myself, okay? I need time, Harry.”
“For what?”
“So I can get myself over this, alright? I need time, I—fuck this,” you growl, feeling the tears flooding your eyes again. Damn it!
“Why the fuck do you want to get yourself over it?”
“Because it obviously didn’t mean the same thing to me as it meant to you!” you snap at him and he raises his eyebrows at you in a way that tells you “you’re stupid”.
“What do you think it meant to me?”
“Probably nothing,” you scoff rolling your eyes, but the anger that bursts from him quickly washes your attitude away.
“Fucking nothing? You think I would get on a fucking plane first thing after filming for ten hours straight just to come after you? You think I spent all my nights with you these past weeks because you mean nothing to me? You know, for a smart girl, you can be pretty dumb sometimes.”
You blink at him in utter confusion, his words knocked you off your feet. He exhales sharply, long fingers running through his messy curls as he tries his best to calm himself down. When he is finally breathing somewhat normally his wildly vibrant green eyes meet your widened stare.
“Y/N, I thought we were on the same page. What did you think it was all about?” he softly asks, seeing how shook you still are.
“I, uhh—I thought this was all just some kind of distraction. You said you were feeling lonely, I thought you were just… kind of using me. And then last night was you returning the favor.”
“Hell no,” he breathes out shaking his head as he steps closer and this time you don’t back away from him. You let his hands run down your arms until they find your hands. “I thought this was clear, but I’m gonna say it then. I’m in love with you, Y/N, have been for a long time, I was just being a pussy and didn’t know how you’d take it. But then, when you didn’t kick me out of your bed the first night we slept together, it got me hoping and it was all heading just the right direction. Then last night happened and I was so damn sure this would be our turning point but then…” He breathes out shakily again, as if the thought still upsets him. “When I called you and you said you were at the airport… I love you, Angel, but I was ready to murder you.”
You let out a faint chuckle, feeling the tears bubbling in your eyes.
“Why did you run away instead of talking to me? Did you not trust me?” he asks softly, a hand coming up to cup your jaw gently.
“I didn’t trust myself,” you admit weakly.
“Oh Angel…” Leaning down he kisses your forehead tenderly, his lips feel like soft feathers against your hot skin. “Do you need me to tell you again how in love I am with you or are you gonna believe me? You’re not planning to run away again, are you?” he teases you making you chuckle as you shake your head.
“I’m not gonna run away, but I would love to hear you say you love me again.”
“I love you. I love you so fucking much, Angel, don’t you ever think otherwise for a moment, okay?”
You nod, lips curling into your mouth as your teary eyes meet his green orbs.
“I love you too, Harry.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say that,” he chuckles breathing out in relief and it makes you smile. “I would never just use you. Love you way too much for that, Angel. You are everything to me.”
“Wish I knew that earlier,” you mumble with a bitter chuckle. It would have saved you a lot of tears.
“I will never stop saying it to you.” His forehead rests against yours, noses touching as his arms curl around your frame, pulling you close to him until you’re pressed up against his hard chest. “Just out of curiosity, what were you thinking when I told you, you reminded me of Hey Angel? Because I think it pretty much gave me away, but apparently, I was wrong,” he chuckles lowly, pulling back a little so he can look you in the eyes.
“I honestly have no idea,” you admit with an awkward chuckle. “I just had a conversation with Florence before that where she called me out about my feelings for you and I was still kind of in shock. Probably took it as just your usual flirty behavior.”
“I’ll admit I do flirt some, but haven’t you realized it’s different with you?”
“I guess not.” “Angel, you are… something else,” he chuckles in disbelief before leaning down he finally presses his lips against yours. You giggle into his lips, arms wrapping around his neck as he lifts you up from the ground, twirling you around, a squeal slipping from your mouth.
“So, now you have to go back to pack your stuff?” you question, still wrapped into his arms completely and you don’t want to exist any other way. This is where you belong.
“Yeah. Had to chase down this Angel who thought she could run away from me.”
“So how are you planning to get to New York by four tomorrow when you’re still here and have to go back to pack? Have you checked the schedule I sent you? You’re not gonna make it.” You cock your head to the side with an arched brow.
“Did you just go back to full assistant mode right after we confessed our love for each other?”
“Someone has to be responsible and we both know it’s always me.”
“I’ll just hire someone to do it for me, I’ll leave to New York from here. Happy?” he grins at you as you nod.
“Very. Because this means you can stay the night here.”
“Seeing the fact that I literally have nowhere else to go, because even my house keys are in the suitcase I left back… I very much need to stay here for the night,” he points out.
“Good. Come on, my bed felt empty without you,” you giggle, pulling him towards your bedroom and he follows you eagerly.
“I can definitely help that.”
 Thank you for reading! Please like/reblog if you enjoyed!
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alrightberries · 4 years
Note
Hi! So like what if Levi & F!Reader are like cuddling, and Levi over slept (maybe misses a meetings?) and Eren and his squad have to go find him and they see Reader and Levi all cuddly and stuffs. AND THEN Levi become super pissed bc they went into his quarters without permission and blah blah blah (you can decide the rest lolll) basically crack, fluff and humor lol. Please& thank uuu
the short end of the stick
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❈ pairing: levi ackerman x reader
❈ genre: fluff, semi-crack ❈ word count: 3.3k
❈ summary: In which the 104th cadets were not prepared to find out that the terrifying and ever-intimidating Captain Levi... is a little spoon.
❈ trigger warnings: implied sex. brief mentions of blood and death. profanity
a/n: i made the reader gender neutral, hope y’all don’t mind. i had too much fun writing this and got kinda carried away. this is my first request ever and i’m glad that i finished it. enjoy!
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Eren was shaking.
Sweat dripped down his forehead and his knuckles turned white from how hard he was clenching his fists, nails piercing his skin so harshly he swore it would draw blood. His heart angrily pumped inside his chest, every beat so strong he nearly anticipated for it to jump out of his ribcage at any given moment.
Fear.
He felt fear.
He puts a name to the feeling and it doesn’t make him feel any better. Ears ringing, lungs breathing rapidly as he tries to steady his fear-induced heart. He was hyperventilating. His eyebrows crease from his anxiousness and he feels his knees weaken, daring to give out beneath him. Was he actually shaking right now? He couldn’t even tell.
Vulnerable.
He felt vulnerable.
Eren had seen many horrors throughout his short lifetime. He saw the colossal titan rear its ugly head over Wall Maria as its foot smashed into the wall’s gates, debris flying throughout the district as a boulder crushed his home with his mother still inside. He saw his mother get snapped in half and eaten by a titan right before his very eyes at a tender age as he sat by and could do nothing but watch.
He was orphaned. Forced to grow up too soon, too fast just so he could say he survived. His entire district was left homeless, forced to become refugees as titans rampaged throughout the outer walls, forced plow the fields to combat the famine and hunger, forced to have 250,000 people go on what was essentually a suicide mission to appease the growing population.
He trained in the military. He trained for three gruesome years and had his physical and mental psyche crushed into dust beneath the boots of the commanding officer, only to be thrown into a battle—completely unprepared— with the titans once more before he could even graduate.
He saw his friends, his family, his brothers and sisters in arms get eaten. Killed. Murdered. Swatted away like flies by the very beasts he swore he’d kill.
And yet, nothing could prepare him for this.
Nothing could prepare him for the blood-pumping, adrenaline-induced terror at the mere thought of having to carry out his mission.
Nothing could prepare him for having to wake up Captain Levi from his nap.
Jean groaned. “Dammit, just fucking do it already.”
Eren is snapped out of his reverie, suddenly reminded that he wasn’t alone. His fellow soldiers stood behind him.
“Well if you’re so brave then why don’t you do it, horse-face?” He grits back, turning around and clenching his fists at his side.
He glimpses around the hallway and his eyes loom over his teammates’ amused faces, each painted with a shit-eating grin. Everyone was relieved that they weren’t the ones tagged with waking up the Captain from his nap.
Rumor around the base is, the last person from his original squadron (may they rest in peace) who had to wake up Captain Levi almost had his ear sliced off. Levi wasn’t even carrying any gear or anywhere near a knife.
One look at Mikasa told Eren that even she was glad she didn’t get picked for this task, and he shudders at the thought of being the poor bastard who had to lose his ear just so the Captain wouldn’t be late for his meeting. He quite liked having both of his ears attached to his head, thank you very much.
“It’s your task.”
“Yeah but why is it my task?!”
“Because you drew the short end of the stick, genius.” Jean replies easily.
Oh. Right.
“There has to be something we can do! Another plan. One that doesn’t involve waking up Captain Levi.” His eyes are pleading as he looks at his fellow soldiers, yet none of them seem willing to switch places with him.
Dammit. They were really going to make him work for it.
All his dignity is thrown out the window as Eren quickly gets on his knees and starts begging his friends, the shit-eating grins on their faces turning into wicked smiles as they watch him beg for mercy.
“Mikasa? What about you? Are you seriously going to let them send me to my death?” He asks, but Mikasa simply turns her head the other way as she speaks.
“He won’t kill you. Just sever your ear.”
Eren’s eye twitches.
She looks at him once more. “I’ll pick up your ear and ask the medical unit to sew it back on you. I’m sure they’ll understand.”
As proof, she holds up a glass jar and some tweezers. She had gloves on her hands.
God, he was going to kill his teammates.
Jean, apparently fed up with Eren’s incessant whining, marches towards him and grabs him by the collar, forcing him to stand up.
“Yeager, you trained in the military for three years. You’re a goddam titan shifter. You got kidnapped and held hostage. Three times. Waking up a growth-stunted man won’t be the last of you.”
Jean’s words are reassuring but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. No, his eyes are still amused. Very amused.
Scratch that, he wasn’t going to kill all his comrades. Just Jean. Jean and his extremely punchable horse-face.
Before he could even reply, Eren is shoved inside the Captain’s office with a quick “Off you go!” and the door is quickly shut behind him.
Fear.
This was truly fear.
Captain Levi’s office is empty, Eren notices. It’s spotless as always and tall shelves line every wall, each filled to the brim with books and documents. A lone door sits at the far right wall.
The Captain’s bedroom.
Slowly, with bathed breaths, he forces his legs to walk closer to the door that held his fate. Briefly, Eren thinks about getting some protective ear covers (just in case) but he quickly shoves that idea aside when he realizes that Jean and Conny were likely blocking the door from the outside.
That, and he concludes that the Captain would just break another part of his body. Maybe his hands. He didn’t need ears for handling ODM gear but he did need his hands.
“Captain?” Eren’s voice is weak but clear as he knocks on the door. “Captain Levi, you’re late for your meeting.”
He holds his breath for a few seconds, and there’s no response. He tries once more.
“Captain,” he repeats, louder this time. “Captain, you really need to wake up. Commander Erwin says your attendance is required for the meeting to start.”
But there’s still no response.
His hands are shaky and he’s still extremely nervous, but he knew Captain Levi’s presence was urgent to the meeting. Classified, Commander Erwin had said when he asked what it was about. 
The third time Eren repeats his fruitless endeavors, he realizes that Captain Levi really wasn’t waking up any time soon.
He runs back to the door he came in from.
“Let me out!” He yells, hands throttling the doorknob as he tries to pull the door open but just as he suspected, Jean and Conny are sealing the exit and pulling at the doorknob as well.
“Let me out, dammit! Captain Levi won’t wake up, I don’t wanna die— just let me out!”
His feet are pressed up against the wall at this point and he manages to yank the door open by a few mere inches. A quick glimpse outside confirms his worse fears: all his friends are holding onto the doorknob as well, trying to keep the door closed. Even Mikasa.
He’d never felt so betrayed.
“You got this Eren!” His eyes drift to the back of the group where Sasha was smiling at him with a cheeky grin. “I’m sure the Captain won’t hurt you too badly when you wake him up.”
“No, fuck that! He’ll murder me and say it was because I went ape shit in titan form. He won’t even get arrested!”
It was when he made eye contact with Mikasa when he realized what true betrayal felt like.
“Good luck, Eren.” “No, don’t—!” Mikasa yanks the door close with one strong pull and he falls to the floor, on his ass.
The room is quite once more (save for the cheeky giggles on the other side of the door) and Eren brushes himself off as he stands up. He eyes the door to the Captain’s bedroom and he breathes in deeply when he comes to terms with what he has to do to wake the Captain from his deep slumber. He has to go inside.
He finds himself in front of the door once again, and this time his knocks are a little louder, a little more unsure, as he speaks. “Captain? I don’t think you’re waking up soon. I’m coming in.”
Slowly, he tells himself. Slowly.
Eren wasn’t sure what to expect when he opened the door to Captain Levi’s quarters. Maybe a torture chamber. Maybe swords and skeletons on the wall. Maybe a book on How To Murder With One Glare on a coffee table. He didn’t know.
But oddly, he thinks as he glances around, the Captain’s bedroom is... normal. The room’s dark, with its curtains drawn and the candles unlit. Tall shelves holding an impressive collection of books still line a portion of the walls. A bed is pressed up against the wall opposite the door, and there are two lumps underneath the blankets—
Wait.
Two lumps.
Two.
Captain Levi’s in bed with someone?
“Captain Levi,” Eren quietly calls out. He wonders who the hell managed to catch the Captain’s attention... or if someone even caught his attention at all. Captain Levi could just be hugging a pillow, he reasons. But Eren’s curiosity overtakes his fears and his legs start to walk closer towards the bed. “Captain?”
The blanket was pulled over the two sleeping lumps, and Eren gently tugs it down to reveal their faces.
No way.
No fucking way.
Briefly, Eren is speechless. His words get caught in his throat, hand frozen mid-air as he marvels at the sight of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier cuddled up within the arms of his lover. His normally stoic face is gone, replaced by relaxed eyes and a slightly ajar mouth, one cheek puffed up as it’s squished into his lover’s chest and his head is nuzzled into the crook of their neck. His arms disappear underneath the blankets, but judging by the fact that his lover’s arms were around him, Eren surmised that the Captain’s arms were most likely wrapped around his lover as well.
He looked innocent— cute, almost, and if Eren didn’t have to train under him everyday he might have actually believed that the Captain’s innocent sleeping face could be taken at face value.
Eren recognizes you, as well. He’s seen you around the base with your own squadron, an elite soldier with your own team of other elite soldiers. You’re known around the base as the squad leader who works their team to the ground, training your members so hard that they genuinely considered going to Captain Levi for comfort. But it wasn’t for naught, of course. Your squad’s survived longer than Captain Levi’s (again, may they rest in peace), barely making it out complete when the fiasco with the Female Titan occurred.
“Oi, Eren.” A voice behind him speaks, and Eren is briefly caught off guard as he turns around and makes eye contact with his comrades. Most likely, they got impatient with waiting for him and decided to see if he’d been murdered already.
Great, so now they decide they weren’t scared of going inside the Captain’s room.
“What’s taking so long?” Jean asks.
Eren is still speechless, opting to instead shakily point his finger towards the bed where Levi lay wrapped in your arms.
“H-he’s... he’s—“ “He’s what?”
He gulps and sighs deeply, speaking out so quietly his friends almost didn’t hear, speaking out in a mere shaky whisper as he utters his words.
“He’s a little spoon.”
Chaos is what Eren would use to describe what happened next. His comrades immediately jumped to stand next to him and take a look at the sight on bed, crowding around them as if they were a soap opera.
“Oh my god, he looks so...” Sasha starts in awe, hands on her cheeks and stars in her eyes but unsure how to finish her words.
Eren nods his head, understanding her speechlessness. “Innocent.”
Silently, his friends nod as well. But he couldn’t just stand here and gawk at Captain Levi’s sleeping form, he came here with a mission. “We need to wake him up. He’s already really late.” He says, more to himself than to his friends. He doesn’t wait for his comrades to exit the room as he gently places a hand on the Captain’s shoulders to shake him awake.
“Captain Levi—“
Eren learns his mistake too late as Levi’s eyes immediately snap open, hand clamping down on Eren’s and twisting it behind his back to disarm him.
“Eren!” Mikasa yells behind him, making a move to free him from Levi’s iron clad grip. From the corner of his eyes, Eren sees the person lying down next to Levi quickly sit up and throw something silver, flying past his comrades and towards Mikasa’s head, embedding itself deep within the wood next to her face.
Eren stares at his friends, all silent, frozen with fear, and rooted to their spots as their mouths hang open.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Levi sneers, pushing down on Eren’s arm.
“C-captain, you’re late for the—“ “Holy shit, we’re late for the meeting.” You cut in, eyes wide in realization.
The Captain briefly glimpses at you and clicks his tongue as he releases Eren from his grip, the young soldier immediately slumping to the ground in relief. His arms and legs felt like jello and he could already feel himself melting into the wooden floor.
“Can someone explain to me why you brats thought it would be a good idea to enter my private quarters?” Levi glares. “Without my permission?”
Oh shit. They didn’t think this through.
A cold shiver runs down the soldier’s spines as they unanimously realize their mistake, something that Eren undoubtedly would’ve felt as well if he wasn’t too busy gawking at the realization that Captain Levi was shirtless (probably naked underneath the sheets), and you were shirtless as well (also probably naked underneath the sheets).
Levi catches Eren’s eyes staring at you, and he silently pulls the blanket over your chest and up to your collarbones without breaking his glare at the cadets.
Fuck. Eren thinks, eyes snapping to the ground as a blush creeps up his neck. Captain Levi’s definitely going to cut off both my ears now.
Conny, apparently already cracking under the pressure, flails his arms and yells as he tries to make a run for the door. Before anyone could even blink, another silver blur whizzes through the air, stabbing the wood directly in front of Conny as he freezes.
It was a knife. A fucking butter knife. Why the hell the Captain and his lover keep a butterknife next to them on the bed is something Eren doesn’t want to know.
“Since none of you lot have tongues,” Levi speaks. He’s not going to get an explanation soon. “We’ll discuss punishment later. For now,” He stands up, grabbing a still flustered Eren by the collar and dragging him towards the door, pushing out the rest of the team as well.
Eren doesn’t have time to be relieved about the fact that Captain Levi was not, for a fact, naked and was wearing black boxers. He was too busy getting pushed out the Captain’s bedroom and dragged through the office before finally getting thrown out into the hallway.
“For now, you leave me alone. I have a meeting to attend to.”
Levi slams the door shut at his awestruck soldiers, breathing in a frustrated sigh as he rests his hand on his forehead. He was getting a headache. He feels arms wrap around him from behind, hands resting on his chest. He sighs once more, this time in content, as he leans into your touch.
“Hey,” you kiss neck. “Thought you said you locked the door.”
“I did.” He turns around, still in your arms, and gently places his hands on your face as he kisses your nose. “Someone must’ve accidentally unlocked it when they were trying to grab onto something. Y’know, when they were getting fucked from behind.”
You chuckle. “Well, I’m sure that someone probably got sweet talked into getting fucked against the door.”
You break away from his arms after giving him a kiss, making your way back inside Levi’s bedroom, no doubt to get dressed for the meeting.
He stares at you as you walk, still naked and looking gorgeous. His face may be stoic but his heart was leaping, the gold ring on your left hand that matched his own glimmering in the light.
Your head peaks out from behind his bedroom door. “Round two before the meeting?” You ask cheekily.
Levi rolls his eyes as he makes his way to the bedroom as well, patting your bum as he passes by. “No. We’re already late.”
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Eren clutches the pillow to his head, exhausted from the laps he’d done. He glances around the room, eyeing the tired faces of his comrades.
As punishment for invading your privacy, Captain Levi assigned them laps around the base until sundown plus two weeks of stable duty. As punishment for invading his privacy, Captain Levi deemed them unworthy of having their own private space and made the entire squadron bunk together in the small room beside his own. 
Well, the entire squadron except for the Captain himself, at least.
Eren was pretty sure the room they were made to sleep in indefinitely was supposed to be a supply closet of some kind, but it fitted enough bunk beds for the entire team and was deemed a worthy location to carry out the rest of their punishment.
“How long do we have to sleep here?” Sasha asked dreadfully, hands covering her ears in attempts to block out the noises coming from the other room. The sound of a squeaky mattress and a wooden bed slamming against the adjacent wall continued.
“Until we learn our lesson,” Jean quotes the Captain. He himself looked extremely tired but he wasn’t trying to cover his ears like the rest of them were, undoubtedly because he’d already given up on getting a good night’s rest if the bags underneath his eyes were anything to go by.
“I don’t even care how long we have to sleep here anymore.” Conny interjects tiredly. “I just want to know when they’ll ever stop.”
As if to prove his point, a moan is heard through the walls. The soldiers flinch, still not accustomed to the sound. Mikasa silently runs her hands through Eren’s hair to calm him down.
“They’ve been at it for hours,” Jean whispers in horror. “How much stamina do those two have?”
Armin sighs, the bags under his eyes feeling heavier by the second. “They’re elite soldiers who’ve trained for years. They have more stamina than all of us combined.”
The whole room heaves out a collective groan, finally accepting that they weren’t getting any sleep tonight. 
In the other room, Captain Levi bangs his fist against the shared wall. “Oi,” he calls out. “Shut up, you brats. We can hear you.”
Levi thrusts his hips, eyes glancing down at your pleasure-struck face as he grinds into you more. The action causes you to throw your head back and let out a desperate moan, finger nails scratch down his back. He grabs your hands to pin them to the sides of your head, leaning down to whisper “Not too harsh, darling. We don’t want you leaving marks now, do we?” He continues his pace, the bed’s wooden frame slamming against the wall as he once again speaks to his soldiers.
“We have thin walls, y’know.”
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socialwriter · 4 years
Text
Simp
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**Gif by @rafecameron​**
Idea by @ptersparkers​: the x times rafe/jj is caught being soft and refuses to admit it and the one time he does bc i’m a sucker for that but can someone write it because i want it but i don’t wanna write it 
Part of my week of fluff
Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Female Reader
TW: Soft boi Rafe 
1.5k+
Summary: 3+1 of the three times Rafe didn’t admit he was a softie (simp), and the one time he did
Requests featured: 
@anonymous0writer​: hi bubs. week of fluff: ““I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.” w soft rafe or topper?? ty bubs
@softstarkey​:  “Would you mind if I kissed you?” w rafe 🥰
anon:  could you maybe write something about being super cuddly with rafe? your one w pope got me🥺🥺🥺
@butgilinsky​:  cooking dinner for rafe😪 or vice versa i’m not picky. also ily💓
A/n: I am now feeling the pressure of having five people’s wants in one fic, but i shall suffer in silence, also this is my first x + 1 fic so I hope it doesn’t suck oop
You and Rafe were both lounging around, your head on his chest and his arms around you when you looked up at him and noticed something you hadn’t before. “Woah, you have long eyelashes.”
He looked down at you, quirking a brow. “Do I? Huh, never noticed.”
“Yea, they just go blond at the end so you can’t see ‘em. You know...I could fix that for you.” You tell him, a devilish glint in your eyes. He furrows his brows, slightly scared as to what you had in mind. “What do you mean…”
You don’t answer his question, instead getting up out of his bed and walking into the joint bathroom, sifting through your makeup bag until eventually you find your mascara. “Aha!”
Rafe sits up, now curious as to what you were planning on doing. “Babe, what are you getting in there?”
You casually walk back into his bedroom, an excited grin plastered on your face as you crawl into bed once more and sit in his lap, wrapping your legs around his torso. “I’m gonna use mascara on you!” You exclaim, showing him the black tube.
His eyes widen, and he shakes his head violently at the very idea of wearing makeup. “Nope, there is absolutely no way I am doing that. You’re tripping babe.”
You pout, jutting out your bottom lip in the way that always got you what you wanted when it came to your boyfriend. “But baby, you’ll look so pretty and it’ll make your beautiful eyes pop even more.”
He frowned, staring at the tube of makeup. “Does it hurt?”
“Not one bit baby.” You assured him, pushing back some of the hair that had fallen in his face.
“Ok alright fine, if you want to do it I’ll do it.” 
You squeal, clapping your hands together and giving him a quick kiss on the lips. “I swear you’ll love it.” You get to work applying the makeup quickly before he has the chance to change his mind. He surprisingly doesn’t flinch much while you’re applying, but that all changes when you’re applying the last bit of mascara and Wheezie walks in.
“Hey Rafe have you seen m-oh my god.” She exclaims, an amused grin forming on her face. “What are you doing.”
“Wheezie get out of here!” He screams, unable to actually get up and push her out so of course, she stays to tease him.
“Wow, Y/n, really gotta hand it to you. You did the impossible and turned Rafe Cameron soft.” 
You giggled, resting your head on Rafe’s shoulder and kissing his jaw. “Thanks Wheezie.”
Rafe scoffs loudly, glaring at his youngest sister. “Both of you shut it! I am not soft!”
You snort in response to his words, giving him a soft kiss on the neck. “Of course not, baby.”
Wheezie giggles, holding her hands up in mock surrender. “Ok ok, you’re not soft. Whatever you say you simp.” With that she leaves Rafe’s room, shutting the door behind her.
“Y/n?”
“Mhm?”
“What does simp mean?”
“Don’t worry about it babe.”
----
“Rafe?” You asked softly, quietly walking into the bedroom of the Cameron household. Kelce and Topper were over, playing video games, but Rafe had promised you cuddles after htey left, which was supposed to be over a half hour ago. 
“Yea babe?” He asked, never tearing his gaze away from the screen. All three boys were very into whatever was happening in the game, muttering insults at each other every once in a while.
“It's getting late, are you almost done?”
“Yea babe, just 5, 10 minutes, tops.”
You pout, crossing your arms over your chest. He had said that 20 minutes ago. An idea pops into your head that if you couldn’t get him upstairs to cuddle with you, then you would have to just cuddle with him down here. You walk around the couch, crawling into his lap and latching onto him like a koala. Both Topper and Kelce glance over for a second, rolling their eyes at the unexpected PDA from the two of you. “Baby I wanna go upstairs.” You mumble against Rafe’s neck, nuzzling your head further into him. 
“I know you do baby, just give a minute to beat these guys and I’m all yours.” He tells you, earning shouts of protest from both boys sitting next to him. “Are you wearing my shirt?” He questions when he glances down at you, to which you nod in response. 
“Your shirt and nothing else babe.” You say, a smirk finding its ways to your lips. He stiffens at your words, taking an audible gulp before quickly turning of the TV
“Hey man!” “What do you think you’re doing!” “Are you serious!” 
“Ok boys, time for you to leave,” Rafe tells the other two who both get up from the couch, grumbling about their game and how they were ‘so winning’. 
“Dude, you are so soft.” Topper tells him, rolling his eyes at the older boy.
“Like seriously, what's happening to you man.” Kelce adds, grabbing his stuff from the floor of the living room. 
“I am not soft, and I suggest you leave before I make you.” Rafe growls, moving to stand up. You, however, do not like this plan, whining and clinging to him tighter, mumbling a soft ‘no’. He listens to you, earning a look from both Topper and Kelce. 
“Dude, seriously, you’re such a simp.” Topper says as both boys leave the house.
“SERIOUSLY WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN.”
----
“Rafe!” You call out for him, having your boyfriend run into the kitchen where you are a minute later. “Yeah babe, whats up?”
“Today, I’m going to teach you how to cook.” You tell him, earning a groan from him “What, why? I like everything you cook so much.”
“Flattery ain’t getting you out of this one. C’mon, we’re starting simple, it's just eggs. It would take an idiot to screw those up.” 
“Idiot at your service.”
You sigh, running a hand through your hair. “You gotta stop doing that.”
“Doing what?” He asked, brow furrowed in confusion.
“Tearing yourself down. You’re not an idiot, you just never learned how to cook is all. And that’s what I’m here for, to teach you how.”
He gives you an apprehensive look but nods, accepting the fact that he was doing this whether he liked it or not. “Ok so where do you start with eggs?”
“Well, first you’re going to get the eggs.” You tell him, earning a helpless look in response. “They’re in the fridge babe.”
“Right, right, I knew that totally.” He mumbles, going over to the fridge and getting the carton the eggs stored inside. Eventually, you had gotten him through scrambling the eggs and now you were ready for the stove, which he looked at with fear in his eyes. “Babe, maybe you should take over from here.”
“Rafe, you can do this. You’re a master chef, I believe in you. Now use that oven!”
He gave you one more glance before putting the pan of yolks onto the stove you’d already turned on for him. “Make sure you turn it over so it doesn’t burn babe.”
“Can you show me how?”
You nod, grabbing a spatula and placing it in his hand before guiding him through the motions of flipping the eggs. “You’re doing great babe.”
“Yeah?” He asks, grinning at you. You nod at him right as Sarah walks into the kitchen, having to do a double take. 
“What's going on?” She questions, not really believing that her brother is actually cooking a meal.
“I’m teaching Rafe how to cook,” you inform her, turning back to the stove to make sure that you didn’t burn the eggs. 
“Um, Rafe, didn’t you once tell me that you would pay for your own personal chef before you learned how to cook for yourself?”
Rafe’s face turns a bright red as he looks down at the floor. “Well yea...but Y/n wanted me to learn how to cook so I’m doing it.”
Sarah’s mouth was left slightly ajar, shocked by the fact that a girl was able to change Rafe so much. “Wow Rafe, didn’t know you’d gone soft for your girl.”
Rafe pouts, jutting out his bottom lift. “I’m not soft, I'm just a chef.” 
Sarah snorts, raising her brows at her brother. “Sure you simp, if that helps you sleep at night.”
“Why does everyone keep calling me that?!”
----
“Y/n?” Rafe asks, tracing small circles on your hip bone. 
“Mhm?” You respond, not looking up from your phone.
“I love you.” His words cause you to look up from your phone, eyes softening when you see him looking at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.
“I love you too baby.” You say, giving him a soft smile.
“Can I kiss you?” He questions, lips only centimeters away from yours. You don’t respond, instead closing the gap between the two of you and pressing a short and sweet kiss to his lips. He, however, decides that’s not enough, giving you kiss after kiss, causing you to giggle against his lips. “Rafe!”
“I know I’ve kissed you like, ten times, but just like another ten, please.” 
You laugh at his words, shaking your head. “Rafe, you really have gone soft, haven’t you?”
He shrugs his shoulders in response, giving you a grin. “Only for you baby, only for you.”
“Wow, you really are a simp.”
“Aww come on!”
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keilemlucent · 4 years
Text
lavender latte: iii
(T (for now!))
hawks | takami keigo x reader
ao3
chapter 1   ||   chapter 2   ||   chapter 4
word count: 4.2k
a cheeky drink and some mutual sabotage. 
warnings: oh no, they say s*x, fluff, pining, the usual, and a wittle angst on the side, reader smokes cigs bc its a salem trademarked fic thing
enjoy folks ;^) the whole of this piece is gonna be about? ten chapters. so. hold on tight!!!
beta read by @keiqos, heart EYES
||||||||||||||||||||||||
“Let that sit for a second or you’ll burn yourself—”
“Don’t need to tell me twice, angel. I know the drill.” Hawks replied with a wink.
You weren’t ever going to get tired of that.
You really expected Hawks to disappear out of your life. You really, truly expected him to run off for good. How many bigger, better, and more important things did he have to do? Even if you managed to speak to him and regard him like any other customer (or, perhaps acquaintance, and more recently, friend — ), your mind swam with insecurities that only seemed to get worse over time.
You were waiting for the metaphorical thread to snap.
You waited for the day Hawks simply would stop texting you flirty bullshit on a somewhat regular basis.
But, holy fuck, the dude didn’t.
 You couldn’t think of why. You weren’t complaining about the attention, but you also were terrified of getting too used to it. Hawks was a part... bird (?) right? He was flighty by nature.
Despite this, Hawks continued to not only text you but also stopped by the shop fairly frequently for his special, quirk-fueled beverage fix. Politely, he’d text you the day before he planned to make an appearance to check and see if you were working, and then show up the next day like it was nothing. 
He usually wouldn’t stay for long; the hero was ungodly busy and always on the move. But, he always took the time to flirt and get a full description of his drink before dashing out to save the world once more. 
Most days he visited were his ‘hero work’ days. He’d appear in his costume, done up and dashing for a sip and a quick talk before disappearing once more into the skies. Every once in a while, Hawks had an ‘office’ day where he’d be confined to his agency to catch up on his insane backlog of paperwork. On these occasions, Hawks would talk (stall) at the tea shop for as long as possible. You talked and joked with him as long as he would let you. Sure, it put you behind on work, but no one at the shop was going to tell you off for fraternizing with the number two hero (whose repeated presence was drawing more customers anyways). You both reveled in each other's attention, drinking in the other’s slowly softening smiles and quick wit. 
 On this day, Keigo’s wings were the shittiest they had been in a while. Plucked and almost barren with how much he’d been working lately. Total exhaustion seemed like it was constantly on the horizon, tugging as his eyelids and weighing down his chest each morning.
It was easier to get out of bed when he got to think about seeing you.
Sure, your drinks were a perk. Very much so. He was getting so used to the artisan beverages you crafted that the taste of his normal canned coffee was starting to bother him. 
But, what his real thrill in visiting the tea shop was that he got to see you, and that made his heart pound. 
He sat across from you, looking down into your newest drink. It swirled between dark and milky, a heady, rich aroma billowing up with the steam it produced. He had requested something ‘surprising, new, and horribly caffeinated’ as deep fatigue was the worst villain he’d likely see that day. You had just nodded, cheekily starting to prepare his drink with a bounce in your step, pupils going wide. 
“I feel like you’re gonna start running out of ideas one of these days,” Keigo laughed, adjusting himself on his stool, gloves and jacket removed. He almost looked like a normal patron.
 You grinned to yourself, idly cleaning around you as you often did, “I dunno, I’ve got a lot.”
Hawks raised an eyebrow, “Tell me about them.”
“Nope, top-secret,” You shook your head, digging into your apron to flash him the small notepad you carried on you.
Scrawled in nasty handwriting, you carried your many ‘feeling’ ideas around with you. Different concepts and abstractions all scribbled down, a nice long list to look back on whenever Hawks would make his appearances and his own vague requests. Your backlog of ideas made it easy to find something more than suitable to make for him.
When Hawks saw your notepad his eyes widened, tilting his head and a devious smirk coming to his lips.
Your expression fell, and you stuffed the papers back into your pocket, hiding your hot face by idly cleaning some more. 
You left yourself very open for teasing, it seemed.
(Not that you or Keigo minded.)
“You keep a little list of all of your ideas! I’m beyond flattered,” Hawks ran a hand through his hair, flashing a cocky smile for you. 
“I have to stay prepared, can’t be disappointing my celebrity sugar daddy,” You winked as Hawks’s eyes went wide, half-hearing a choke get caught in his throat. (You loved it when you were able to get him visibly flustered. What a treat.) You nodded down to the drink, “Should be good to try now.” 
 Keigo really liked spending time with you. He knew it was always fleeting and short and consistently he wanted to find reasons to stay with you at the tea shop counter for longer and longer. Your quips and chides continued to get quicker and more clever and he was having an increasingly difficult time keeping his cool around you. Most of the time he smoothed himself easily, not showing a trace other than that which he neurologically couldn’t control. 
But sometimes, you were bold enough and ballsy enough to get him to gag on his literal words and he was positive that you were the only person to ever have him break composure in such a way. 
He covered his weakened poise by sipping the new drink, mindfully letting the taste wash over his tongue.
Increasingly, you’d been changing up the so-called ‘vibe’ of your beverages. It seemed like each time Keigo dropped in, you had something new and vibrant to show him. 
This drink was particularly different.
The taste was rich, dark, and smooth, rolling into the back of his throat and down his spine. It coated his insides with a warm, low heat. Peeking through were sweet, light accents, warm but almost... teasing?
His dick twitched.
 Hawks’s mouth dropped open, any and all professional veneers dropped as you just beamed so fucking smugly at him. 
“What do you think?” You leaned a bit forward, bouncing on your toes with excitement.
“Is... Is this supposed to taste like sex?” Hawks asked, taking another mouthful to confirm. Based on the way his eyes briefly shut and some of the tension rolled from his shoulders, he thoroughly confirmed it.
“Technically, it’s crafted based on like... a late-night rendezvous. I left it fairly up to interpretation beyond that. The rest is on you.” You shrugged, still bouncing as Hawks took another chug.
“What the fuck, (Y/N),” Pleasant shock colored his features, but clear amusement stretched across his lips as he continued to drink. 
“You wanted something surprising and horribly caffeinated. That’s a dark chocolate mocha with two extra shots, our in-house raspberry and rhubarb syrup, a bit of white chocolate syrup, and a few of my add-ins as well. It’s pretty different from what I’ve made you before,” You blinked at him, stomach twisting as his expression remained unguarded. “I... I probably should’ve asked before giving you a drink that definitely could’ve been taken as sex. That’s my bad. I can remake you something else if you’d like?”
 Keigo shook himself from his stupor, shaking his head and quickly regaining his composure. He took another sip to emphasize his words, “No, nope. It’s okay. Definitely okay. The drink is really good. I’m just now wondering something.”
“And, what’s that?” You asked, reaching behind the counter to grab your own iced beverage.
“Can your quirk be used to manifest bad feelings and concepts, just like good ones?” Keigo asked. Normally, he’d add more nuance, but he was getting impatient and sloppy around you. He’d have to keep that in check.
Especially with the way your shoulders drew up and tensed. You turned a bit away from him, any and all potential for eye contact torn away.
He hit a nerve.
“The type of abstract feeling doesn’t matter, I can emulate it,” You replied, pulling at your nails. Keigo had long picked up that it was one of your habits when your anxiety spiked. 
He dropped it, but didn’t forget. There were public files on quirks. Maybe he’d look into it. Maybe. It felt a bit invasive, but considering plenty of that data was freely accessible, it hardly was an invasion of privacy, right? 
(Except for the fact that it obviously made you very uncomfortable to discuss the more unsavory potentials of your quirk.) 
(He just wouldn’t tell you.)  
Keigo switched topics, easily rolling away from the topic, “Any particular... event that inspired this one?” 
You pressed your hands into the counter, leaning over it to glare at him, “Are you referring to something with that comment, Hawks?”
He shuddered when you said his name, but you don’t notice. 
“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not,” Keigo shrugged easily, going for another sip.
 The drink was inspired by the several day cinematic, wine-bender you went on a week or two prior. An entire weekend with just you, your cats, three entire bottles of wine, and a backlog of movies to catch up on. You tried to consume lots of different types of media, but what had been catching your eye lately had been anything with gushy romance for fairly obvious reasons.
(There was an embarrassing amount of ideas for drinks that were a bit too romantic to properly indulge with your quirk. You’d never tested the limits of how certain feelings could manifest, and you weren’t quite ready to face the reality where you could make people nut from caffeinated milk.)
“It is good though, the drink,” Hawks smacked his lips together as if it would make his coming analysis more credible. “It definitely does taste like sex, but more so complicated. Darker.”
“Deeper.” You smiled. “Your palette is getting more refined. I’m proud.”
“Are you saying it was bad to begin with?” Hawks pouted, flashing you falsely weepy eyes and a puffed out lip.
You rolled your eyes, “Yes, you yourself have admitted this. You drink canned coffee still, so I can’t even call your taste good.”
Hawks gasped, putting a hand to his chest, “I’m hurt, truly wounded.”
“I’m sure you are, tailfeathers.”
“I really thought I had reliably moved up to ‘birdboy’, angel.”
You snorted, covering your mouth with your hand, “Just goes to show how quickly the tables turn, tailfeathers.”
Hawks’s pager suddenly chimed, a familiar sign. He took a quick look at it and sighed, moving to re-robe. You were surprised by the speed at which he did so, and the way he became tense so quickly. 
It made you realize that he was always tense.
(Unless he was talking to you.)
“I thought today was an office day?” You asked, a bit of a disappointment clouding your voice.
Hawks just gave a small smile, fully plastering back on his heroic facade, “Duty calls. Lots happening lately.”
He flicked his visor back over his eyes, slid you your normalized wad of cash, and whisked himself out the door, immediately taking to the skies from the streets.
He’s in a bit of a hurry.
He... didn’t even say goodbye. 
Wonder what’s happening?
 Truthfully, Keigo was a bit startled by the notice on his pager. The whole reason he’d started patrolling the particular neighborhood the tea shop was in was because there was word of a villain syndicate working nearby. It hardly seemed right for the neighborhood, but Keigo knew that villains hid anywhere. Whatever they were planning was still relatively shrouded, but it was clear that it needed to be treated delicately. That particular neighborhood was rife with pedestrians, businesses, and homes and any sort of villainous activity had the possibility of reaping a heavy amount of collateral damage. Keigo and the Commission had been on their guards about it, but things had been steadily becoming more intense over the past few weeks. 
Plopping himself on a rooftop, Keigo took up residence to stake out his newest lead, watching figures and silhouettes in a nearby office building.
 ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 Funnily enough, the rest of your week went horribly. Just downright shitty. You figured at some point, things would let up, brighten, but they didn’t. Each day brought some new, personal calamity. 
The first was a trip to the emergency vet with one of your cats after she swallowed a hair tie. An expensive vet bill later, she was perfectly healthy, but you remained wracked with anxiety. 
Another day, the owner of the tea shop paid a visit to chew you out for your newest tea blends not fulfilling his picky seasonal requests. You were relieved it had nothing to do with how Hawks monopolized your time. Still, getting yelled at easily within earshot of both coworkers and customers made your insides twists. 
The final small disaster was when a particularly asshole-ish customer chucked a hot drink all over you and your cute white sweater. One of the younger openers had been dealing with a difficult patron and an incorrect order, nothing out of the ordinary. When you tried to step in and de-escalate the situation, the man ripped the lid from his cup and splashed you with the burning liquid. You held back any sounds of pain even as your skin stung like hell when you offered to remake his drink.
One of your managers luckily allowed you to go home early. Thank god.
By the end of your shitty week, you fell into your apartment and just cried. White sweater stained and day feeling fairly ruined, you let yourself have a good, solid sobbing session to just release how terrible things had been. 
It would pass, you knew. But it sucked at the moment.
It also didn’t help that Hawks had been particularly absent after running out the last time he came around. He’d still managed to shoot you a funny text or two, but mostly, it was silence from him. You rationalized it by reminding yourself of how quickly he flew off at the end of his last visit, hero business forever more pertinent than you and the shop.
You reminded yourself to keep yourself grounded in Hawks obvious impermanence, even if you were starting to get used to (and really like) having the hero around. 
You decided that your Friday evening would be good. You treated yourself to a hot shower, noting with a hiss the pink scalded skin that covered your chest from your collar bones to just below your breasts. You threw on a facemask and uncorked a bottle of wine you had been saving for a rainy day. 
You clicked on one of your favorite shows, an older cartoon that brought you consistent comfort in times like those. Curled up with a knit throw blanket and your healthy cats, it did help soothe the burns, mental and physical.
That is until you got a bit too drunk on red wine and it turned into sad drunk.  
So, you made your way to the roof.
You weren’t fucked up beyond belief, despite the fact that you were towing an open bottle of red in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the left. The cold would sober you up, along with the nicotine. You hoped it would force you out of your head. 
Upon throwing open the door to your apartment complex’s rooftop, you were made very aware of its wintertime disuse. The gardens that grew during the summer were snowcovered. The chairs and tables for lounging were in a similar state. You didn’t mind. 
The view was still nice. 
You set down your bottle and zipped up your coat. Quickly, you brushed off the flurries from a rickety lawn chair and plopped yourself down. You threw on some music from your phone, playing some sweet, old songs that made your chest ache when you needed it to.
The city stretched in front of you, beyond the rooftop. You didn’t live in a particularly wealthy district, but there was no shortage of dazzling neon and bright street lights dotting the ground below. You watched how the rest of the city stretched far beyond your little pocket, still gleaming with multi-hued lighting and dazzling in the wash of the crescent moon.
You took a swig, fishing for your self-dubbed ‘sad cigarettes’ and lit up. With your exhale, you watched as smoke lazily swirled away, carried by the soft winter wind. If you were any less drunk, you’d be freezing.
A shadow, winged, fell across the snow. 
“You know, I get nervous when I see pretty girls on rooftops with bottles in their hands,” You jumped at the voice, whipping your head to the source.
Hawks stood, scarlet wings fanned outwards, on the lip of the rooftop. 
Your eyes widened.
You took another sip.
He gave an affectionate laugh, jumping down into the area where you were seated.
 Keigo had just been out on his normal, nightly patrol. The leak had been correct and he’d been stealthily tracking the villains while completing the rest of his hero duties. He was able to laugh off his exhaustion, but it was starting to eat him. Several cans of coffee a day was hardly doing it for him. He hid his sleepiness and aches well, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t difficult. All the same, his typical roles had to be fulfilled. 
He was surprised to see you, all alone on a rooftop with a lit cigarette between your fingers. Keigo let himself be surprised before noting that ‘ yes, you definitely probably live in this apartment building and you’re just outside to smoke’, but the sudden jolt of panic he felt was crushingly unbearable. 
Mostly because it was personally protective and not heroically instinctual and he couldn’t start acknowledging that aspect of his feelings for you. Not yet. 
Keigo walked towards you, asking, watching you blink blearily at him “You doing alright?” 
Eyes downcast, you shrugged, “We all feel shitty sometimes. Just depends on how you cope, ‘ya know?”
“And how do you cope, (Y/N)?” Keigo asked, pausing before brushing off a chair. “Mind if I join you for a bit? I could use a second to rest my wings.”
You nodded, almost offering him the bottle, but quickly pulling it back to your chest before taking another inhale. Offering a pro hero alcohol while he was pretty obviously working seemed like a bad move, even in your tipsy state. 
“Most of the time, I watch nice stuff and distract myself, like most people, ya’ know?” You exhaled as you smoked, relishing the nicotine buzz. “Sometimes, though, I just feel extra shitty and need to extra cope.”
Hawks hummed in agreement, sitting back in the chair. His wings were folded up and over its back, the longest feathers trailing in the small snowdrift behind him.
“Do you get cold, being in the sky all the time?” You asked, eyes going cloudy as you stared up at the lights of the city and higher into the sky. 
“Most of the time,” Hawks chuckled, throwing his arms behind his head, “I’ve told you this, angel. It was one of our first conversations.”
Your eyes widened at the realization, mouth open with a hearty laugh.
 It made Keigo’s eyes water a little. He blamed it on the wind. 
 “I’m silly, I can’t believe I forgot,” You nestled back into your chair, tracing the lines between constellations. “It’s the whole reason you came to the teashop in the first place.” 
Your voice resonated, focus foggy. Somewhere else, old memories played in your mind, recounting your first few meetings with Hawks.
A warm, small smile stretched across your face as you traced the stars. 
 Keigo watched, enraptured. You were cute, especially like this. All bundled up in your winter coat, half-zipped. There was a lot less stress in your shoulders than he normally saw at the shop, especially as your thoughts were so far away.
He wanted nothing more than to commit the contours and shadows of your face in the white moonlight to memory, never forgotten in the blissful cold. 
 You interrupted his thoughts so beautifully.
 “Thanks for talking to me.” You took a sip from your bottle just after speaking, half-drowning your words, but Keigo caught each one. “I appreciate you.” 
“P-pardon?” Keigo couldn’t tell if you caught his stutter, but even if you did, you didn’t show it. The comment felt like a jab to his jaw, half-knocking the wind of him and turning him into a filthy masochist. He’d take any whiplash if it meant you saying such kindnesses to him. 
How could you just say shit like that?
What exactly did you mean by that?
Why did your attention make his legs tremble?
You turned your attention from the night sky to Hawks, something like uncertainty bubbling in your chest, “I appreciate you, ya’ know? Coming by the tea shop still, teasing each other and shit, you humoring me—”
Hawks interrupted you, feathers tensing at his back.
“I’m not humoring you.” Hawks deadpanned, staring at you oddly seriously. The yolks of his eyes seemed even more intense in the neon and night light. 
“You’re... not?” 
There was utter disbelief in your voice, accented by the way your jaw was half-opened.
Hawks shook his head, standing in emphasis, feathers fluttering as he did, “ No, angel. Not at all. I visit because...”
I like you.
“Because I like your drinks.”
  Because you make me feel good in a way I’ve never felt.
“You’re fun to talk to, too. Added perk.”
  Because I want to hear your voice when I breathe and when I die. 
“I enjoy it, you know? You're fun.”
 Some feeling in your chest, something full of hope, crushed itself and compacted to the point of pain. You sniffled at his admission, blaming it on the cold. In a fucked up, sad way, part of you was so relieved. 
He likes the shop. He likes your drinks. 
He’s around because he wants to be. 
But not because you’re special to him. 
 His words reminded you of your insignificance in Hawks’s life. No matter how much you craved his attention and words, and more recently found yourself staring at the plumpness of his lips and the curve of his cupids bow and daydreaming about how much you wanted to lean over the tea shop's counter and kiss the constant, teasing smile off his face—
But.
You don’t matter that much to him.
Sure, he likes you, but he’ll never feel the same way about you. 
 You made the decision then to make the most out of Hawk’s affections and sweet words. You’d take what you could get, even if it was fleeting and probably  eventually heartbreaking. It seemed smart, to refuse to get your hopes up for someone so unattainable.
 You let out a shaking sigh, “Thank you, Hawks. I appreciate you coming around. You really light up my day.”
 Keigo saw the fall of your face and bottled himself up. Shoved down everything. Fuck his feeling, fuck how he felt about you, this was all fucking terrifying. It was getting to be too much and he had to try and control himself.
Just like he’d been taught so well.
He was just so happy to be around you. He could squash his feelings, even if they were fairly obviously somewhat mutual. God knows that he didn’t know how to handle anything like that.
On the gods, his pager beeped.
 “Duty calls?” You said, standing up yourself and brushing off the stray snowflakes. 
“Seems so.” Hawks sighed, nodding, “Thanks for letting me rest here. It was good to see you, (Y/N). I’ll see you soon, okay?”
You waved goodbye as Hawks disappeared as quickly as he came, launching himself from the roof with the heavy sound of wing beats. 
Soaring away, Keigo risked a final look at you. He swore he saw tears in your eyes.
He forcibly repressed his feelings, reminding himself that your company, words, and quirk-made beverages were more than enough. The flutter in his chest when he thought of you wouldn’t rest, but he could learn to ignore it. 
 On the roof of your apartment, you felt fatigue in your bones and wetness on your cheeks. You ignored both in favor of smoking another cigarette, soft, melancholy music being your only constant, reliable companion. 
You reminded yourself that he, Hawks, was a temporary fixture, more flighty than most and liked you just enough and for surface-level reasons. You could take that. You’d do anything to be around him more, even if it never amounted to anything. 
You, just as Keigo did, pressed down any larger feelings.
 (The thing about feelings, though, that neither of you was very good at remembering, was that they don’t go away. Sure, you can let them go, but that takes time or a practiced mind!)
(When you take feelings, big, aching, soaking feelings and shove them down into the deepest parts of you, they just tend to make you bleed. The ‘hidden’ feelings color your blood as it spills, even if you don’t notice when it falls and its change in hue.)
(One can only hope that both Keigo and you listened instead of lied.)
 Both of your hearts ached, and neither of you fully understood why.
612 notes · View notes
detectivesofty · 4 years
Text
staking your claim | j.h.
Summary: Natalie has problems with Nina and you’re helping out, like the good future sister (in-law??) you are
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Doctor!Reader / Natalie Manning x Will Halstead / Nina Shore x Will Halstead
Song I listened to while writing: Bust Your Windows by Glee (cuz it’s a fucking bop)
Author’s Note: I literally wrote this in one sitting bc I got inspired lmao. This is very heavily centered around Natalie and Reader’s friendship, because I feel like Nat needs someone in her corner. This takes place in Season 2, Ep. 19 of Chicago Med and I know Jay and Reader’s relationship doesn’t make sense canon-wise, but this is a fanfic after all, so let’s just pretend that Jay and Reader have been in a commited relationship with each other for a while. Happy reading!
Warnings: mentions of alcohol
Word Count: 1,9k
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“Hey Y/N,” Nina greeted you and you barely glanced up to greet her back, your focus entirely on your notes. Nina then turned to Natalie, who was standing right next to you.
“Hey Natalie. Can I ask you a favor?”
Natalie, held a finger up. “Uhm, one second,” she said, turning back to April. “Hey April, can you try and track down Connor for me?”
“Alright.”
“Thank you!” Natalie turned back to Nina, the stress written all over her face. “Sorry. What’s up?”
“I was going to give this to Will, but he’s busy. Can I leave it with you?”
That suddenly got your attention. Why would Nina ever ask Natalie for a favor regarding Will?
Natalie paused as well. “Sure,” she then replied, reaching a hand out for the jersey.
“He’s going to watch the game with his brother tonight. I slept in it last night and when he left this morning I was still in bed,” Nina added with a laugh and you furrowed your brows, while you kept your head down. 
“I’d leave it in his locker but I wanted to make sure he gets it.”
You rolled your eyes, but put on a smile when Nina looked at you. She wasn’t the best actress and you could see right through her act, even if Natalie didn’t.
Natalie seemed a bit lost as she held the jersey, glancing at you briefly. “... Okay?”
“Thanks. You’re the best. Bye Y/N, see you later!” Nina called over to you before leaving the ED. 
You forced a smile and waved at her, before turning to Natalie. She was still staring at the jersey in her hands and you nudged her gently. 
“Hey you okay?” 
Natalie nodded quickly, putting the jersey away. “Yeah, I am fine… But Nina was acting weird, right?”
Chuckling, you shrugged with your shoulders. You didn’t really like Nina with Will, if you were honest. She seemed nice enough, but you never clicked with her, despite her constant efforts to spend time with you. In your eyes, Natalie was the perfect one for Will. Especially because you knew of Will’s feelings for Natalie, you know, before the thing with Nina started. 
“Duh. She’s trying to mark her territory, it was so obvious.”
“What?” 
“I am pretty sure that she sees you as a threat, Nat. And the other day-”
“Doctor Manning, Doctor Y/L/N! Incoming, vehicular accident, two girls and their mother!”
Natalie gave you a look, which meant she was in no way done with this conversation. But for the meantime, you took care of the two hurt girls. Unfortunately, the day didn’t progress as you had expected it to go. The hospital’s server got hacked and you had to resort to old-fashioned blackboards, without knowing patients’ medical history. 
At the end of the day, you were completely exhausted and just wanted to fall in bed. You threw your jacket on and grabbed your purse, when Natalie came into the lounge. 
“Hey Y/N, are you going home?” 
You gave her a tired smile and nodded. “Yeah, I am beat.”
“I wanted to talk about the thing you mentioned this morning…?”
Frowning, you thought back to earlier until you finally remembered. “Oh yeah, uhm. Do you maybe want to come over? Jay’s watching the game at a bar with Will so I’ll be alone tonight.”
“Yeah, sure. That sounds nice. I’ll just swing by Helen real quick to check on Owen, and then I’ll come over, yeah?”
Nodding, you gave her a thumbs up, rubbing her shoulder. “See you later, Nat.” With that, you left the ED and drove home to an empty apartment. The moment you stepped into your home, you let out a loud sigh at the sight of Jay’s shoes being all over the place. Moving in together was Jay’s idea. Your jobs ate up a lot of your time and when Jay was on a hard case, you often had gone days without seeing each other. Living together had a lot of pros, but that was before you knew Jay loved leaving his shoes where he took them off, which could be basically anywhere in the apartment. 
But you loved that man, so you’d put them away for now and kick his ass later. 
Dropping off your purse on its designated place, you headed to the shower straight away. After a refreshing shower, you ordered pizza for you and Natalie, when a text from Jay came in.
Jay: hey babe, you home yet?
You: yeah, just got out of the shower
Jay: Without me?😜
You: First of all, ew You: second of all, you’re too old to be using emojis
Jay: 😭
You: nat’s coming over now and I just ordered some pizza
Jay: okay, have fun, love you Jay: save me some slices!
You: Love you too. And no!
At that moment, the doorbell rang and you put the phone away to open the door, expecting either Natalie or the delivery guy. But instead, it was Natalie, the delivery girl. 
“I bumped into the delivery boy on my way up and paid him,” Natalie said and you beamed at her, ushering her in. 
“You didn’t have to do that. Come in!”
You grabbed a bottle of wine and two wine glasses, then situated yourself on the couch with Natalie. The two of you devoured a couple of slices before Natalie spoke up. 
“So. About what you said this morning… Why would Nina see me as a threat? I don’t see Will that way.”
Pouring yourself another glass of wine, you gave Natalie a look. “Really? I see the way you look at him, Nat. The two of you have always been dancing around each other. Nina has eyes, she can see that.”
Natalie opened her mouth, frowning, before she closed it again. 
“I never did anything while they were dating, I swear,” she insisted and you gave her a smile. 
“I know, Natalie. No one thinks that, I promise.”
“It’s just…” She sighed. “At first, I didn’t want to rush into a relationship, because I haven’t worked through my grief yet. And then Will wanted to move on, which I totally understood. And with Jeff, I thought he was the right one, considering his history with my Jeff. But then he turned out to be the complete opposite. And now… Will’s with Nina and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
“At this point, I think you should just let their relationship run its course. I know it sounds kind of mean to say that, but I don’t think that they’re a good fit. You and Will are. You challenge each other, but also make each other better. I can see how you look at him when you think no one is watching; Will looks at you the same way, Nat.”
You could see the hope glimmer in her eyes and while you didn’t want your friend to get hurt, since Will and Nina are in fact still dating and even living together, you knew how right you were. You spent endless hours talking to Will about Natalie and you knew that feelings like that didn’t disappear overnight. 
“I just don’t want Nina to think I am trying to step on her toes and ruin their relationship, you know,” Natalie added. “The way she acted today kind of intimidated me.”
“Yeah I totally get that. She was acting a bit crazy,” you laughed and Natalie grinned at you, nudging you with her shoulder. 
“Enough about me and my problems. How are things with Jay?”
“Oh, things are good.”
The rest of the night passed in a blur while you and Natalie talked about everything and everyone. Nights like these were much too rare and you enjoyed spending time with your friends outside of work. It was nearing one am when you heard keys jangling at the front door, you and Natalie instinctively turning to the door. 
As the door opened, Jay stilled in the doorway, like a deer caught in headlights. 
“Hey Jay.” 
“Hey babe.”
Jay waved, slightly abashed as he took his shoes off. “Hey guys, thought you were already in bed,” he mumbled, walking over to the couch to press a kiss on your head and high five Natalie. “I am just going to go to the bathroom real quick,” Jay told you and disappeared into the bathroom. 
“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Natalie said, yawning loudly. “Don’t want to be too tired for work tomorrow.” 
You walked her to the door and leaned against the doorway while she collected her things.
“Thanks for today, Y/N. I really needed that.”
Smiling, you pulled her in a tight hug. “Anytime, Nat. That’s what friends are for. Get home safely, okay?” 
“I will. Say bye to Jay for me,” Natalie answered and you nodded, waving before you closed the door. With a yawn, you locked it and trudged over to the coffee table to clean it up, throwing the pizza cartons in the trash and putting the wine glasses in the dishwasher. You looked up when Jay came out of the bathroom, looking around. 
“Nat already left?”
You nodded and wrapped your arms around his neck. “Yeah. It’s late and we have work tomorrow. You okay?”
“Mhm,” Jay nodded, leaning in to kiss you. The kiss was short and sweet, which made you smile against his lips. You pulled away after a while, observing him. His cheeks were flushed and it was obvious he’s had a few beers. 
“What did you guys talk about?”
You snorted out a laugh. “Uh, about Will.”
“What about Will?” Jay raised a confused eyebrow. 
“You know. Will and Nat. Nina came up to her today, trying to stake her claim. Waving around Will’s jersey like it was a prize. It was ridiculous.”
Jay laughed, shaking his head. “She did? Nina’s crazy.”
Shrugging with your shoulders, you pursed your lips. “I kinda get her. I mean, if anyone would even think about getting with my man, I’d whack them.”
“Yeah?” Jay asked, smirking at you in amusement. “You’d be willing to go to prison for me?”
“As if you’d let me go to prison,” you snorted and he chuckled, leaning his forehead against yours. 
“Yeah you’re right. Can’t let anyone hurt my girl.” 
You felt warmth spreading in your chest, just like it did everytime Jay called you his girl, even after all this time. 
“You wanna go to bed?” Jay asked softly and you nodded, looking up at him. 
“Carry me?”
He groaned out, but complied anyway, hooking his arms under your thighs to hoist you up, carrying you into the bedroom. The two of you quickly got changed and slipped under the sheets, cuddling up. 
“You know,” Jay murmured, nosing along your neck. “I think you’re right about Will and Natalie. He’s still got that look in his eyes when he talks about her.”
“Yeah? I thought so. He should stop leading Nina on, then. It’s not really fair.”
“Tell him. He listens to you more.”
You rolled your eyes and swatted Jay’s hands away, reaching for your phone to text Will.
You: Get your head in the game, Will. If you still have feelings for Natalie, you should end things with Nina. It’s not fair for either of them. 
Unsurprisingly, ellipses popped up a minute later.
Will is typing…
Will: You’re right. Thanks.
278 notes · View notes
writesowhatnext · 4 years
Text
definitely just a coincidence // remus lupin
Summary: sometimes everything in life just… comes together – helps if you have a Sirius though
Request: Hi, how are you doing? Could you please write a soulmate au for Remus where soulmates have a birthmark where they’re first touched by them and the reader has a mark on her wrist? And one day Remus and the reader happen to sit next to each other at a quidditch game they're having fun talking when James does something risky and Remus grasps the reader's wrist? I'm sorry if that was too specific! Thank you!
A/N: I have no idea why this was so difficult to write but I hope you like it! It also took everything I had not to use the word coinkydink
Reader: unspecified
Warnings: swearing bc I’m incapable
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The universe, without question, works in mysterious ways. Any third-rate fortune teller, rocket scientist or six-year-old can tell you that. Some things are just meant to be: the sun move from East to West, Sirius Black is the world’s biggest drama queen and every single person has a soulmate.
It would definitely be a lie to say that you’d never questioned the legitimacy or inevitability of soulmates. It just seemed strange that there was this perfect person out there for you, but every time you looked at your wrist, you were reminded that it must be true.
Though soulmates are still pretty much a mystery to both the muggle and the wizarding world, the working theory is that in a past life, wherever on your bare skin your soulmate last touched left a mark, a birthmark, where they were destined to first touch you in this life.
Your mum always told you to cover the mark on your wrist; it was in such a common place and you had to be careful so you would know for sure who your soulmate was. Most people tended to parade theirs around, though, and some even took to covering every inch of their body to avoid the situation entirely. There’d been stories, though, of massive coincidences and unimaginable luck uniting soulmates and as you looked down at your wrist, vaguely aware that you would be late for the Quidditch match if you didn’t hurry up, you thought about who yours would be. Someone smart, perhaps? Funny, maybe? You hoped more than anything that they’d be kind. It was odd to think, regardless, that the universe would try so hard to get you together.
Absentmindedly, you rubbed at the thick mark on your wrist, the colour a stark contrast to your skin. The wide band reached around your wrist and almost connected at your palm and anyone with half a brain cell could see it was a perfect shadow of someone’s grasp. You frowned, briefly glancing at the time.
“Oh fuck,” you muttered, quickly grabbing your scrunchie and making for the door. Every day, without fail, you’d worn that scrunchie on your wrist, covering your mark and not once had it failed you. Today, though, was different from every other day. Whether you knew it or not, this day would be very different indeed because the universe, in all its ineffably annoying glory, decided it had a job to do.
As you rushed through the corridors, desperate not to miss the last quidditch match of the season, you were glad to see many other people in the same boat, winding around the corridors to the pitch. You were so eager that you didn’t even notice Lily coming around the next corner and, before you knew it, you had slammed into her, sending each of you back a few feet, onto your arses. You blinked, a little disorientated as you tried to focus on her.
“Blimey,” you said, using one hand to push yourself up as the other rubbed your head. “I did not expect that.”
“Y/N!” Her face lit up as she realised it was you, taking your outstretched hand gratefully. “Just the person I was after.”
“Why? Did you want to be human bumper cars today?”
She laughed, shaking her head and clutching the book she had dropped to her side under her arm.
“I can’t go to the match today – head girl bollocks, you know how it is-“
“Sure I do,” you said, sarcasm leaking through your tone. She rolled her eyes in response, side-stepping a Hufflepuff racing past her. You suddenly remembered why you’d been running in the first place, your happiness at seeing your friend replaced with a familiar urgency.
“Can you tell Remus for me? He said he’d save me a seat – he’ll be next to Sirius…”
You barely heard what else she said, your feet already talking you towards the pitch.
“Sure, Lils!”
You thought about Sirius as you hurried towards the Gryffindor stand, relieved to see that the players weren’t even on the pitch yet. You and Sirius had been friends since second year when he nearly set your hair on fire in Charms. He’d been apologetic, of course, but his expression soon turned mischievous when you’d shot a spark at him, singeing the hairs of his forearm. From then on, you’d been as thick as thieves. It helped he had friends that were happy to accept you and who tended to find your jokes, however unfunny, hysterical. Sometimes you wished you weren’t as close, though. He could read you like an open book and he constantly teased you about your crush on Remus. He’d never shut up about it when you were alone and when you weren’t, he’d send you annoying glances and make lewd gestures. And for that, and many other things, you hated him about as much as you could hate someone so loveable.
You spotted the two of them around a dozen rows up, Sirius already shouting though the match hadn’t even begun to start. You rolled your eyes at him before you let them wander to Remus, who was sitting rather patiently next to him. In all honesty, it wasn’t that you didn’t have a crush on Remus, you just hated it when Sirius was right. And, it wasn’t like it would go anywhere: he never gave any indication that he liked you and you both had soulmates – it was a moot point. As you walked closer, slipping between some unruly Gryffindors on the way, you had to admire Remus. He was very handsome and the sight of him staring up at Sirius with fond exasperation made you smile, a warmth in your chest. It reminded you of when you’d first met.
“Oi, Y/N,” Sirius had shouted from the breakfast table when he saw you walk into the Great Hall. You rolled your eyes and wandered over, standing behind him.
“And what do you want?” you asked, narrowing your eyes.
“Can’t I just want to see my friend without ulterior motives?”
If you had known him less well, you would’ve been fooled by his puppy dog eyes.
“No, you always have ulterior motives. That’s your defining feature.”
“I thought my hair was my defining feature? Or my exquisitely handsome face? Remus,” he turned towards the boy opposite at the table, who had been watching you both with amusement. “What’s my defining feature?”
“Your modesty.”
You snorted at the way Sirius’ face soured completely.
“Brilliant,” you said, offering Remus your hand. “I’m Y/N: unfortunate Charms partner and reluctant friend.”
He smiled back and something stirred inside you at the way his grin pulled at his features handsomely, the scars littered across his cheeks shining delicately in the light. His expression dropped though, a sweet blush flushing his face, as he lifted his hand. His eyes were almost apologetic as you noticed the stark white bandages wrapped around his fingers all the way up his arm. You shrugged nonchalantly and his lovely smile returned.
“Remus: also, reluctant friend and even more reluctant roommate.”
You beamed at his response, enjoying it when he mirrored your expression even though his shoulders were hunched shyly.
“Great, and now you’re friends,” Sirius sighed, mock annoyance riddling his features.
“Earth to Y/N,” a familiar voice shouted, breaking you from your reverie. You saw Sirius a couple rows away, shouting at you and waving his hands wildly. You made a face at him, gesturing for him to calm down. Remus was smiling at you softly as you approached, and you couldn’t help but wonder if he was as pleased to see you as you were, undeniably, to see him.
“You alright there, Y/N? Didn’t realise Divination was on the quidditch bleachers today.” Sirius said with a smirk.
“Oh, shove off,” you tutted; rolling your eyes as you got closer, standing in the space they’d probably saved for Lily.
You stood next to Remus, ignoring Sirius’ wink as he went back to shouting about Quidditch and picking fights with the nearby houses.
“Ignore him,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “He’s been a prat all day because it’s the Slytherin game.”
You nodded, shooting Sirius a look almost identical to the one Remus had – he may have been an annoying bastard but he was, in fact, quite loveable.
“I ran into Lily in the corridor, literally actually,” you said, turning to face Remus, briefly distracted by the warm green of his eyes. “She said she can’t come – some head girl crap.”
“Oh, that’s a shame.”
“Yeah,” you nodded, looking around to see your friends, unable to spot them.
“You can watch with us,” Remus offered very quickly. He seemed to realise his rush as his cheeks heated up and he looked straight ahead, blinking. You had to laugh at his reaction.
“I’d love that.”
You sat down next to him, watching his face as he messed around with his coat to make more room for you. He looked rather cosy in his coat and gloves; his Gryffindor scarf tucked under his chin. Rather cute too.
“Has he been like that the whole time?” you asked, pointing at Sirius, who kept shoving his hair out of his face as he began jumping, the players finally out on the pitch.
“I wish,” Remus groaned, rubbing his face with both hands. “A Ravenclaw prefect told him to shut up earlier and he almost flashed her.”
Though you felt for him, you couldn’t help your grin at Sirius’ antics.
“Y/N, love,” Sirius looked down at you, making grabby hands. “Can I borrow a hair bobble?”
You tore the scrunchie off your wrist, too distracted with Remus and the rush of recent events to think about it all that much, and passed it to him.
“Merlin, this is definitely my colour.”
You and Remus both tried to ignore Sirius throughout the game, but with the Slytherin team playing a little dirtier than usual, certain parts had all three of you up on your feet.
“Rem, give us your gloves,” Sirius insisted during the timeout, rubbing his hands together loudly. Looking at him, you noticed how inappropriately dressed for the weather he was in his t-shirt and jeans, perhapssomewhat unsurprisingly. Without argument, Remus passed over his gloves before turning to you. His deadpan expression made you laugh.
“He’s a liability,” he muttered, making you laugh harder. You fell into a comfortable silence before you remembered the proof you had that not every decision you made was as awful as making friends with Sirius. Remus watched you with fond eyes as you gasped and began rifling through your coat. When you pulled out half a bar of chocolate, though he didn’t think it possible, he liked you even more. It only got better when you offered him some. You noticed, when he grabbed the wrapper, the dark maroon-coloured birthmark on the palm of his hand and down his fingers, intersected occasionally with silvery scars. You didn’t have time to think more about it; the players already soaring back into the air.
James was testing your patience at this point. He’d made several very bad choices trying to stay on par with the Slytherin team without cheating. He kept making sharp turns and dramatic swoops with the quaffle and the whole stadium was holding its breath – even Sirius had shut up. You and Remus were both close to a heart attack with how many close calls James’d had. It wasn’t until he got hit by a stray bludger that you both stood up, Remus anxiously reaching out to grab your hand. He didn’t find your hand, though; his long, now icy cold, fingers circled your wrist, a perfect fit for your birthmark. You probably wouldn’t have noticed with all the action going on had a searing pain not shot up your arm. You hissed, as did Remus, and you both yanked your arms away sharply.
“What the-“ you began before your eyes widened to the size of saucers. “Holy shit.”
Remus stared down at his hand and then back at you and then back at his hand countless times before he settled on you, his raised eyebrows lowering slightly as a smile crept onto his lips.
“It’s you,” he said breathlessly. His words reminded you of what going home felt like and as his smile grew, you felt yourself mirroring him, a warm feeling flooding through your system.
“I can’t say I’m disap-”
Cheers echoed through the crowd and you were interrupted by what you’d been, perhaps justifiably, distracted from. James, who had been dangling from his broom by one hand, pulled himself back up; an impressive move regardless of how awkwardly he did it. Even from far away, you could see how pleased with himself he was and despite yourself, you ended up mimicking Sirius with shouts and whistles. Remus wasn’t paying any attention, though. He just watched as you cheered for his friend, your mouth wide in a smile and your eyes lively and bright and for once in his life, he felt like everything would actually be alright.
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copperpieceharlot · 3 years
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Bud I’m sorry to swing into your inbox uninvited like this but my soul is having an OOTS renaissance thanks to your content in the tag and did you say Leverage AU
haha holy SHIT this got Long. but yes. i’ve been. Thinking. (also literally Never feel like you have to apologize for sending me messages. i was Hoping someone would ask me about this. now i have an Excuse to share EVERYTHING ive written abt it :3)
Obviously, Roy is the leader/brains of the outfit. He grew up having some Strong Opinions abt what’s Legal versus what’s Right due to tragic backstory involving the death of his little brother which was definitely SOMEONE’S fault for negligence but since there technically wasn’t any illegal behavior, there were no consequences for it. Also he’s still angry at his dad bc he thinks his dad is also partly culpable (and also also just a dick). He’s the Moral Backbone of the team (alongside Durkon, more on that later) in basically the same way Nate was in og Leverage. He’s actually not the best at figuring out what people want (that’s Haley and, shockingly, occasionally Elan), but once he has that info, he is the absolute best at figuring out the ideal plan of attack to use in any given case.
Haley is still a thief. I mean she maps to Parker almost PERFECTLY. Her dad was a thief & a conman, her mom wasn’t but knew about it and mostly accepted it, but she died tragically in a mugging gone wrong or smth, which made Ian crank the paranoia WAY up and taught Haley to do the same in the name of “safety”. Let’s keep the “Ian is in Trouble and Haley needs money, Fast” which is why she signs on to the first job in the first place. She’s less acrobatic than Parker, tending towards finding (or making) weak spots in security, but she can still make a tumble check when she needs to.
Elan is the grifter who is somehow an Idiot but also not???? It baffles everyone. When he’s playing a part for a con, he’s FLAWLESS, but then the rest of the time he’s just. No Thoughts Head Empty. He probably gets lured in initially because he’s decided to try his hand at being part of a full team, rather than the two-man cons he’s been running that invariably end w his partner conning him as well and stealing half of his take. Also he likes the idea of being Crime Friends. He’s that tweet where it’s like, Roy: “after the heist is over, we split up and never communicate again” / Elan: [about to unveil his Crime Buddies Forever Friendship Quilt Puppets]: “never?”
Vaarsuvius is the hacker/gadget person. They have a Vaguely Snobby Yet Unidentifiable accent, dyed(?) purple hair (nobody has ever seen their roots) and nobody knows who they “really” are or where they came from, but they’re good at what they do so everyone just accepts the mystery. They probably got suckered into the team by their initial employer (who I’ll get to Eventually, lol) framing it as a challenge to their intellect, like, “oh, I see, you’re not smart enough to make this team work for you...” to which they were like Fucking Watch Me and also melted his computer. Anyways. They are joined (digitally) by their Intrepid Friend And Co-Conspirator (his words, not theirs), a fellow hacker known only as Blackwing, or, on certain forums, Blackwing_Bird. (In the first season, V only occasionally references him when saying they’re “calling in extra help” or smth for a particularly complex hack job. He starts showing up a little more in s2 and eventually by the start of s4 is a regular & established presence, but only appears as actions in a computer interface or output.) Elan is convinced he’s an AI, Belkar doesn’t think he actually exists, Haley pretends she doesn’t think he exists, and Durkon and Roy try not to think about it too hard, as long as B and V still get the job done.
Belkar is the hitter. He is on the team bc their initial employer got him out of jail for it. He doesn’t have a tragic backstory, he just likes doing violent crimes. As the series progresses, he grows some empathy & stuff, but really only for people who actually deserve it. Assholes still get decked. It’s all very touching. (Also he has dwarfism caused by achondroplasia. It doesn’t actually bother him and is useful in fights bc his opponents frequently have no fucking clue how to approach him, but he likes Pretending to take offense at stupid things just to see how far he can go with it.)
Aaaand last but not least, Durkon is the least involved member of the team. He’s actually a career criminal and Roy’s mentor, and wasn’t a member of the initial team that [redacted, I’ll tell you later, PROMISE] put together for a couple of reasons, the main one being that he’s Officially retired in order to spend more time with his family, which consists of his mom, his friend (not girlfriend) Hilgya, baby Kudzu, and a truly stunning number of aunts, uncles, and cousins. Roy frequently calls or visits him for advice and he Occasionally shows up to help out on local jobs, but generally he avoids doing crime if he can (as part of a deal with Hilgya, who is also a career criminal; basically, they’ve both cut back on the crime in order to provide a more stable home environment for Kudzu. But sometimes, you gotta do a little crime, and in those cases, Sigdi enjoys spending time w her grandson.)
NOW. THE BIG REVEAL YOU’VE BEEN WAITING FOR. Who got the team together in the first place?!
The answer: Lord Shojo (or whatever Normal Person Name you want to assign him). Now this is where it gets tricky: he had them do a thing that they thought was good, THEN they thought it was BAD, but then when they confronted him he revealed that it Appearing to be bad was actually a test of character and would they consider working as basically internal investigators for him? But then he had a heart attack, so, rip. But THEN it turned out that he’d left them a bunch of money anyway and they were all feeling kind of Inspired so they formed the Order of the Stick, LLC (which, no, i am not coming up with a new name, actually, because I just don’t care. someone else can come up w a justification for that name, tho, i’m sure it’s possible). Also Miko was there and was unhappy abt their actions, and also their general existence.
Moving on. Villains!
Redcloak is the Sterling replacement, because that DEEPLY amuses me.
Xykon is a season-long main villain, probably one that Redcloak finds himself working for but then “teams up with” (read: blackmails) the Order to bring him down bc even Redcloak finds Xykon distasteful. That’s season 3, let’s say.
Tarquin is another season villain, say season 2. Nale probably shows up pretty early in s1, actually, as another recurring antagonist like Sterling but uh. Less good at it. Anyways the s2 final 3 eps deal with them (accidentally) discovering that Tarquin runs some Evil Empire Company, then trying to outplay him and take him down. Idk if Nale still dies in this version tbh.
Tsukiko is a one-off s1 villain who returns briefly in s4 alongside Miko, who has gone well and truly off the rails.
Season 1 finale has to do w Roy finally getting Vengeance for his little brother.
The vampire squad is the s4 finale villain who do smth terrible to Durkon and then get the Mother Of All Revenge served up to them by the Order.
I envision the show as being 5 seasons (like og Leverage) but I’m not going to sketch out s5 because I think it should be based off whatever happens in the current story arc, possibly involving some legacy of the OotSquiggle.
Other stuff!
The Order of the Squiggle is a legendary criminal team from the 60s who stole a BUNCH of famous shit & then proceeded to legendarily implode. This has no bearing on the plot I’ve sketched out, I just think it’s fun.
The Sapphire Guard members should probably be reworked as FBI. I don’t care about most of them but I do think that Lien and O-Chul could be like, FBI agents who Choose to look the other way while the Order does their very-much-not-legal-but-still-fair Justice Crime, and maybe even help them out on occasion.
So, the Final season-by-season outline, based on everything I’ve written so far:
s1 e1: getting the team together, doing a con for Shojo, then at the end he dies and the gang is like “dang what now?" and intend to split up except then they Don’t.
mid-s1: Nale shows up and tries to trick the Order, but then gets beat like a drum.
late s1: Tsukiko is an underling of the Villain Of The Week, winds up in police custody. But She’ll Be Back.
s1 finale: Roy’s Vengeance: The Vengeaning. also we meet Redcloak as an antagonist.
s2 e1: the truth abt Haley’s father comes out
early s2: The Two Live Crews Job but it’s the Order vs the Linear Guild and the Linear Guild ARE all bad guys.
mid-s2: Redcloak returns. ugh.
late s2: the sapphire guard FBI makes its first appearance, hello O-Chul and Lien.
s2 pre-finale: once again they’re in conflict w Nale over smth, he spends the whole episodes making Cryptic Remarks, they basically beat him (like a drum!) but then the stinger at the end is that Tarquin reveals himself and Elan is like “Dad?!”, roll credits.
s2 finale, part 1: Elan is hanging out w Tarquin bc he’s DEEP in Denial, the Rest of the team tries to take Tarquin down, but it doesn’t work.
s2 finale, part 2: Elan finally gets a clue and they manage to beat Tarquin. still haven’t decided if Nale dies or not, but I’m leaning towards yes. also they rescue Haley’s dad.
s3 e1: fuck dude idk.
early s3: Redcloak shows up, AGAIN, everyone groans. he has blackmail on them, he wants them to take Xykon down.
mid s3: The Rashomon Job but it’s about stealing the Talisman of Dorukan and it turns out that Nale was there too (“oh!” Elan says. “I was wondering why I looked so weird in all those mirrors! But it wasn’t my reflection, it was Nale’s!” “Sweetie, that wasn’t Nale’s reflection,” says Haley. “Huh,” says Elan, “so the mirrors were broken?”, cue eye rolling from everyone else.), and the Successful thief was Hilgya, who’d nabbed it from the owner before it even went on display.
s3 finale: they beat Xykon, actually factually, because he deserves to get his ass Thoroughly kicked, even if only in AU form. Lien and O-Chul are there, so are some other less helpful FBI people. There’s a bit where O-Chul Exact Wordses his way out of telling his superiors about the Order’s less legal activities without technically lying. King shit.
s4 e1: doesn’t really matter. maybe smth to do w some legacy of Tarquin’s company to set up the drama w Malack & Durkon later.
early s4: Durkon gets SENT TO PRISON. Malack approaches the Order abt this because sure they have Different Ethics but they’re still Friends. (Roy is surprised and a little hurt that he’s never heard of Malack, but he ignores that in favor of Let’s Get Whatever Fuckers Did This To Our Friend.)
immediately after that: Miko and Tsukiko return as a Team, preventing the Order from working on the Durkon situation
mid s4: Redcloak makes another unexpected & unwelcome appearance but he’s maybe a little less of a dick? the Order collaborates with Malack & his Crime Buddies (hello, Vector Legion) to pull one over on him tho, because “less of a dick” does not mean “a pleasant or decent person”, and also he was mean abt Durkon being in jail, so he totally deserved it. he still gets whatever he wanted tho, just takes a blow to his pride. also prevents the Order from helping Durkon. they’re having a LOT of setbacks wonder why that could be, not to make sure the season fills its whole length or anything, no sirree
s4 finale: something something taking down the organization, headed by Hel (yes that’s her real name), which framed Durkon for their Big Crime. Durkon goes free and Extra Firmly retires, For Good, He Swears, but says he “met someone new” who might be an asset.
s5 e1: minrah joins the team! and the episode is set in like, somewhere really snowy. that’s all i got.
the rest of s5: don’t know, don’t care, it’s open-ended until the comic finishes up.
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Text
agent whiskey
character headcanons
note: did a rewatch of kingsman golden circle, so...how could i resist? i really started out with ‘this is fun!’ and then things got real. again, i like to think most of what is here is inspired straight from what we see in the movie, and some go a little beyond bc if we’re honest, those writers did our jack dirty.
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- Has a known streak for being an asshole, but he doesn’t usually even realize it.
- He thinks he’s funny (he is, but only sometimes).
- The man loves the high life. Country livin’ is fine by him, but high country living. He was sent to work in New York for a reason.
- He is great at mixing his attitude and his manners. He’s usually always polite, but his impatience will get the better of him. He’ll be the one at the store giving lip to the manager, yet still saying please and thank you the whole time.
- Loves playing the seniority card. He’s good at what he does, no doubt there, but he still thinks he’s tough shit He gives himself more importance than he should. If someone he likes tells him off, he will drop down so many pegs, it is incredible. Will go quiet and embarrassed if scolded.
- Actually has pretty good taste in fashion. He pays attention. It’s a bit of a preening thing, a bit of a wanting to seem valid thing.
- He will giggle at a sex joke if he wasn’t expecting it (if he’s flirting, it’s a different story).
- He is great at hiding his nerves. Will overcompensate with the cockiness sometimes if he feels out of place, and definitely likes his liquid courage when talking to women.
- He feels like he has to have a pick up line. He has to impress. His track record of relationships (or lack thereof) isn’t something he likes to think about. Whether it’s because he’s hung up on his late wife, or they don’t like him beyond a quick lay, or he finds he can’t connect with them, he isn’t always sure. He’ll do it for work, or if he really, really wants to, but beyond that, he finds himself distracted by other things.
- Whiskey is his go-to drink. What came first—his preference or the code name? No one is sure, but he is definitely dedicated it. He may hate drugs, but he’s quick to drown his sorrows in alcohol.
- He can cook. Maybe he's not a gourmet chef, but everything turns out fairly decent, and he's even got a couple of special recipes that turn out incredible. His homemade chili is immaculate.
- He doesn’t have any close friends. When he was younger he had some, he knows what it’s like to have a friend. But when he goes out, sees just a group of guys who mess around, genuinely like each other, he feels like he’s missing something. It almost makes him uncomfortable at the thought of having such a support group.
- Despite his propensity to come off as a bit of an asshole, he pales in comparison to actual assholes. Does not tolerate them. If someone is harassing or being a general nuisance, he wont hesitate to step in if necessary.
- If it’s not necessary, he is shameless and will absolutely stay for the show. He finds the drama amusing, and if it comes to action, all the better.
- The man knows what he’s doing (most of the time). He’s a good agent. A good fighter. When things sometimes go south, something unexpected happens, part of him lives for the thrill of it, hoping for a time to shine. It keeps him on his feet. He’d rather focus on not dying during those times, then focus on trying to live when things are quiet.
- He likes working with other agents, it makes him feel less alone. But he is a stickler about who he works with. He’d, of course, prefer to be in charge, and he doesn’t like incompetence. Shit happens, but if you’re not good at back-up, Whiskey’s got no use for you.
- He trains and practices a lot. A lot, a lot. You can’t get that good with a whip, a lasso, and guns, without honing his skills. He likes to try out new moves too, but he won’t do it in front of people. He’s broken quite a few things in his own home practicing moves, but in the end, it really pays off.
- He’s fiercely protective of the people he cares about. If he loved someone, he would likely save the one at the cost of the world.
- Holds grudges like no other. Will seek revenge whenever the mood strikes him. And he has a knack for it too. Not always confrontational, but if you wrong him, and he feels its personal? He’ll make sure you’re ruined one way or another.
- He doesn’t always want to take the lead, but if there’s ever a pause, someone hesitates to do something, he automatically thinks ‘fine, I’ll do it myself’.
- He lives to be a showoff. He likes to be the center of attention. Its stems from his feeling of not being good enough, of not being able to do things right in the past. He doesn’t care what sort of attention he gathers, and if someone negatively reacts to his skills (with jealousy, criticism, any of the sort) he still counts it as a win. Afterall, why would someone be paying so much attention to him if he isn’t worth it?
- He’s a risk taker. Has been all his life. Some risks didn’t pay out and left him with insecurities he likes to pretend don’t exist. Some do pay off, and it’s the best high he feels.
- He’s gambled before and would again if the opportunity were to present itself. He’s tried to stop, but he knows he’ll go back. When he was young, he liked the idea of a high roller’s table. With his job and how much he makes, he’s closer to getting to that fantasy. He doesn’t talk about it, but his dream mission is at a casino, playing on the Statesman bill, with a finely dressed woman on his arm.
- Yes. His biggest fantasy is to be an American cowboy James Bond. Sorry. No I’m not.
- When he was young, he was seriously in love. It was that first love, the one you think you could never have again, yet somehow is still only a surface love. It felt deep at the time, but if he were to love again, really love, it would be a true love that he doesn’t even believe exists. It’s the knowing someone as much as you know yourself, the sort of support that is unbelievable yet impossible to live without, and being able to share the fears and doubts of past trauma and uncertain futures and be met with trust and loyalty that could only be found in fiction.
- He’s become a serial flirt to hide that desire for true love. He loved his late wife, but they hadn’t had the time, and they’d still been practically kids. He’s afraid to let any relationship go beyond that.
-He is a man of devotion. Devoted to his work, to his principles, to his wife. Sometimes the way he expresses it is extreme, but no one can deny he cares.
- He likes to have nice things. He’s got a nice apartment, filled with any comforts and random assortments that spark joy. If Marie Kondo went through his stuff, there would be very little he’d agree to let go. Everything seems to have a story behind it.
- “Now that hat? Been with me through too much. Couldn’t wear it til I was eighteen, tried to ride my first horse with that one, and I damn near lost it. See these bullet holes? Mission up North went South, and had I moved any slower, I’d’ve been brought back in a pretty wooden box and dropped six feet under.”
- He may try to support the Statesman brand but…his name is Jack Daniels. You can bet he’s got every brand of whiskey in his own personal collection.
- At his place in new York, he always keeps extra stuff ‘for company’. He very rarely ever gets a chance to use it.
- He loves gadgets, tech, the best vehicles. He tries to make sure he can do it all because it makes him feel like Bond, but he sticks to what he knows best. The whip and the lasso make him unique.
- The man is really kinky. He doesn’t let it out unless he is completely comfortable, but…he really is.
- This man is a mama’s boy. We all know it.
- He wants to have a family. He really does. Part of him refuses to believe he ever will, that he doesn’t deserve it. The other part thinks that it’s the only thing that will fill the hole in his heart.
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clumsyclifford · 4 years
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i typed out a Whole thing and then changed my mind but how about like lazy sunday in before the work week w t-shirt verse jalex? ily bye x
omg hello this got (1) away from me and (2) so ridiculously romantic i have no excuse. there’s just something about t-shirt jalex. also i am currently taking suggestions for what color alex’s hair should be in this ‘verse bc as of now it is unspecified. okay hope you like it x
read here on ao3
Alex is at the stove. Jack’s barely awake and this is the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“Morning,” he croaks, slumping forward to affix himself to Alex’s back. Alex staggers, laughing quietly.
“Good morning, my love,” he says. The kitchen always feels somehow both bigger and cozier with Alex in it, spacious but flooded with love. Love, Jack finds, smells like pancakes and tastes like Alex’s toothpaste and feels like sunlight and the cotton of Alex’s shirt under his fingers. It fits nicely into Jack’s kitchen. Their kitchen. 
Their kitchen. Jack is still having a hard time getting used to that.
“You didn’t have to get up,” he mumbles against Alex’s shoulders. “Coulda slept in.”
Alex shrugs. “Was up anyway. Thought it’d be nice to make breakfast.”
“But it’s nice to cuddle,” Jack points out, eyes still closed. He presses his nose into Alex’s neck, inhaling deeply. “Mm, you’re warm.”
Alex’s deep, gentle laugh fills the air. “You’re clingy.”
“It’s cold,” Jack slurs. Slowly but surely, the atmosphere is seeping into his senses, pleasantly waking him up. “I love you for making pancakes.”
“I know you do.”
“Gonna make tea.”
“I prepared your mug and boiled the water already. You just need to pour it.”
“Have I mentioned lately that you’re the love of my life?” Jack presses his lips to the tattoo behind Alex’s ear, lingering a moment.
“Doesn’t hurt to hear,” Alex says happily. Jack reluctantly detaches himself from his boyfriend’s body to go and make himself some tea. 
Tea is a weekend drink. Jack drinks coffee to get through the mind-numbing work days, but tea is for Sundays like this one. It’s nine in the morning and Jack can already feel the laziness of the day settling over their shoulders; they’re going nowhere today, doing nothing. It’s not often a perfect Sunday comes along, but Jack clings to the opportunity whenever it does. Like today.
Dust hovers in the beams of light stretching through the room and the apartment feels alight with a glittering January. Unlikely warmth starts in Jack’s chest and spreads outwards, something he can’t even attribute to the tea since he hasn’t begun to drink it yet.
Glancing over at Alex, humming to himself as he flips the pancakes, the warmth intensifies. Oh, Jack thinks, not particularly surprised.
It stands to reason that the love filling the kitchen would saturate his body as well.
-
Light spills over Alex, highlighting strands of hair and shining on his skin, brown eyes glowing almost as golden as the sunlight. It makes Jack wonder why he’s not a poet or something, except there aren’t words for this image, and Jack would be hard-pressed to come up with an original way to phrase what thousands of artists have already expressed.
He takes a picture. They’re worth a thousand words, if what they say is true, and that’s close enough.
Alex looks up at the movement. Jack just smiles and shamelessly takes another, catching the fond look on Alex’s face before setting his phone face-down on the table again.
“Stop it, you creep,” he says. “Help me with this.”
“Alex, I’m so fucking bad at crosswords,” Jack says, shifting his chair around the table anyway. “You know this.”
“But you know things that I don’t! Together we can solve it.”
“You could also solve it on your own.”
Alex shakes his head. “You’re overestimating my skills. I don’t think I’ve completed a Sunday puzzle in, uh, my entire life.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you,” Jack says wryly, “but I am not your secret weapon.”
Alex reaches for Jack’s hand and brings it to his lips, brushing a kiss over Jack’s knuckles. “Yes you are.”
Jack sighs. He’s a sucker for Alex and he doesn’t see that trend slowing anytime soon. “Fine. Give me one.”
“Here, I bet you know this one.” A tap of the pen against the newspaper next to the clue for 6-Down. “‘For You’ co-singer Rita.”
“Ora,” Jack says immediately. “Everyone knows that song.”
“Ora,” Alex repeats to himself, like something he should have known to know. “Actually, I didn’t. See? Already fulfilling your secret weapon duties.”
The puzzle is sparsely and randomly filled out. “Why don’t you go in order?”
“Because I don’t know 1-Across,” Alex says. “And if I stopped there it’d be a very short puzzle.”
Jack hums, skimming the list of clues for any other answers he might have. Most of the clues he thinks he could get are ones Alex has already filled in. Some are ones Jack would never have known. “What the fuck is a superlative prefix? ‘Most’?”
“Yeah, like…high school superlatives,” Alex says. “Most likely to make it big. Most likely to, uh, go to jail after graduation.”
“What the fuck were your high school superlatives?” Jack says, amused. “I didn’t know that’s what they were called.”
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is wrong, though,” Alex says, face drawn in thought. He’s doing the hair-twirling thing again so Jack interrupts the motion, linking their fingers together and scratching gently at the nape of Alex’s neck. Alex hardly seems to notice. “Because I’m pretty sure 4-Down is ‘prince’.”
“‘Hamlet, for one,’” Jack reads from the clues list. He shakes his head. “I’m starting to think you’re smarter than me, Al.”
“Starting to?”
Jack scoffs and stabs at the remaining pancake on Alex’s plate, mostly because he knows Alex isn’t going to finish it. “Hey.”
“I’m teasing, completely joking,” Alex says, leaning into Jack and briefly resting his cheek against Jack’s shoulder. “I’m definitely not smarter than you. I teach middle school. If anything, that automatically makes me more of a dumbass.”
“You love doing that, though.”
Alex sighs. “Yeah. You can love something and still be an idiot for doing it, though.”
“Like being in a relationship with you.” Jack giggles. “Joking. Just kidding. I’m just kidding.”
“You better be,” Alex says lightly. “I know a lot of your deepest darkest secrets, Jack Barakat, and I am not afraid to unleash a pack of twelve-year-olds on you.”
Jack would like to argue that a horde of twelve-year-olds doesn’t scare him, but it does. It very much does.
“Fine,” he says. “You win this round.”
Alex kisses his cheek. As he moves away, Jack turns his head and kisses him on the lips. “You taste like pancakes.”
“You taste like you,” Alex replies, and it doesn’t sound sweet, but it really, really is. Jack licks his lips. He’s not sure what exactly he tastes like, but it charms him to think that it’s always more or less the same, or at least that Alex finds something familiar in every kiss he steals off Jack’s lips. 
“Okay,” he says, leaning over the newspaper spread out before them. “We can do this. Who was in The Irishman?”
-
Whoever said that thing about how it’s better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all might have been onto something.
They concede to the crossword puzzle after almost an hour of staring at it. To Jack it seems pathetic, until Alex grins at him and promises that this is rather impressive considering when he tries to do it alone he only ever gets, like, ten answers, and they’re often wrong. 
Half-finished really isn’t so bad.
The rest of the afternoon and evening stretches out before them, in all its unscheduled glory, and Jack, like the mature adult he is, pulls Alex to the couch and insists they spend at least three hours of the day watching TV.
His second mug of tea is sitting, partially drunk, on the coffee table, Alex’s empty mug beside it. Jack’s is going cold but he’s warm with Alex’s head in his lap, eyes closed as Jack pushes a hand through his hair, and he can’t find it in himself to care. As a compromise, they’ve put on Project Runway, something Alex loves Jack enough to sit through but doesn’t care enough about to pay attention to. If Jack were a more petty person, he would be annoyed by this, but he’s not. Having Alex like this is arguably better, essential in the task of keeping Jack’s thighs warm and also giving Jack something to look at when the urge strikes him.
The angles of Alex’s face and the way his hair flops over his forehead are enough to keep Jack mesmerized for hours.
It’s in one of these moments of weakness, Jack gazing down at the boy in his lap instead of watching the high-stakes but decidedly less enchanting events unfold on the TV, that Alex opens his eyes. His gaze catches Jack unawares, but Jack doesn’t flinch.
“You’re not even watching,” Alex huffs, smirking. “It was your idea to watch something and you aren’t even watching it.”
“I’ve got a better view right here,” Jack says.
Alex just rolls his eyes. “C’mere,” he says, grabbing clumsily at the front of Jack’s shirt.
“I don’t think I am physically capable of kissing you from this angle.”
“Oh, is that a challenge?” Alex picks his head up and pulls Jack down, and it’s not ideal or particularly attractive, but Jack has to admit that they do, technically, kiss, thus proving Jack wrong, which is probably in Alex’s top ten favorite things to do. Only for a second, though, before Jack pulls away.
“I stand corrected, but I also kind of hated that,” he says.
Alex laughs, musical and bright. “Sorry. Let me try again.” He shifts around, straightening up until his feet are on the floor and his body is upright, and this time Jack has no complaints when Alex curls his fingers around the collar of Jack’s t-shirt and drags him in. 
Project Runway isn’t exactly the ideal soundtrack to making out on the couch, but Jack’s not picky.
A fluttering touch lands on Jack’s hip, sneaking just under the hem of his shirt to rest against his skin. Alex releases Jack’s shirt, sliding his other hand up and around to cradle Jack’s face, thumb brushing his jaw. The show in the background fades to nothing, as so often the world does when Alex’s lips are on his. Everything is Alex and Alex is everything — and maybe that’s always true, but it’s easier to sink into when they’re attached in so many places, lips under teeth and noses brushing cheeks and hands forever tracing skin, clothes, hair, whatever ends up beneath Jack’s fingertips. 
It’s looking more and more like the love in the kitchen hadn’t been confined to the kitchen. Or maybe it had never been about the kitchen, but the company. And maybe Jack has known this all along, and the love he feels for Alex follows him around like a stray dog, like a best friend, like a promise. It bleeds from him, infusing itself into the air without ever lessening in himself. Sometimes it trips off his tongue.
Often it does.
“I love you,” Jack murmurs, like he’s just a ragdoll stuffed with love who’s coming apart at the seams, another stitch undone whenever Alex touches him. He’ll keep spilling this love over them and somehow he’ll never run out, and if that makes him weak then Jack is content to be weak. 
Alex only laughs a little, but it’s not mean-spirited, just sweet. “Would it surprise you to know that I love you, too?”
It wouldn’t. This is the secret to Jack’s never-ending supply: the love he gives is the love he receives.
“I love you for making me breakfast,” Jack whispers, pressing his lips to Alex’s cheek, just outside the corner of his eye. “And for the tea. And for making me do the crossword puzzle with you. And for watching shitty reality TV with me.” With each proclamation he brushes a kiss to Alex’s forehead, his other cheek, the corner of his mouth. Alex’s smile stretches across his face, crinkling his eyes by the time Jack kisses him again, for real, though he still returns it to the best of his ability.
It doesn’t last long. “You don’t play fair, JB,” Alex breathes, then laughs again like he can’t help it. “What am I supposed to say to that?”
“You could start with ‘I love you too,’” Jack suggests, slanting a breezy smile at Alex. “That usually works.”
Alex gathers Jack’s wrists in his hands and kisses his palms, one after the other, before lifting his gaze back to Jack. In the light of the apartment, Jack has never seen anyone more beautiful. The truth of his own earlier words washes over him like a sedative, a comforting tranquilizer. 
“Doesn’t feel like enough,” Alex admits, “but I’m not sure this love can be put into words, you know?”
Jack does know.
“Though it’s worth saying,” Alex continues, sliding his hands into Jack’s until their fingers are interlaced, “that I love you for doing the impossible crossword with me, and I love your half-drunk cups of tea, and I loved you in the morning and I love you right now and when we go to sleep tonight, I’ll love you then, and every night after that for the rest of my life, you know what? I’ll love you for those too.”
Jack understands that these are big, big words, promises that are much easier to make than keep. But with Alex holding his gaze and his hands right now, sheltered from the real world or maybe creating it, he knows that Alex means every word, and Jack does too.
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afoxysunny · 4 years
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Robbie as Bullock
This post will probably differ from the others in structure and be a lot longer for one big reason
When choosing Miraculous for the Lazytown characters i really wanted to only use ones that we've already seen in use in Miraculous Ladybug and know how they work from there.
For Robbie i broke that rule. I don't really remember what first made me consider it but it probably had to do with the fact that i think the Ox Miraculous, just aesthetically, would fit Robbie perfectly!
So for this one i had to start from scratch completely, no reference for a canon hero design, no idea what power or weapon he'd get, no clue what the phrase to transform could be.
Of cause i used the most references for him but here are the ten i found most important
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Obviously i don't expect any of my speculations to become even remotely canon once we find out what Stompp, the Ox Miraculous, actually does but i hope it at least makes sense for now.
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I like how I've drawn all the others standing head on to face the camera and Robbie just leans there. That's because you have to think he doesn't care, the little Tsundere
Concept Overview:
In the Miraculous Ladybug episode we meet all the Kwamis, including Stompp, he is the most actively concerned about Nooroo so now that the Butterfly Kwami is back I'm sure Stompp would want to stay around him. With Sportacus partnering with Nooroo, teaming up Robbie and Stompp made the most sense to them.
Design Notes Incoherent Thoughts I had to justify what I'm Drawing:
Purple and Blue - it amused me no end that with the choices i made blue Sportacus got a purple Kwami and purple Robbie got a blue kwami. I did kinda dislike at first how little blue the costume has in comparison to purple but i decided i don't have to make a decision because apparently the canon show can't make up its mind about Stompp's colour either. The blue and purple can always be swapped if i decide i don't like it
Harness - Ox' are hard working animals, mostly used to pull heavy objects. For that purpose they get strapped into a harness. Obviously i had to include that in this design, the chain hanging from the collar around his neck has a similar purpose (it only occured to me way too late how kinky it looks please ignore that)
Cape? No cape? - because of the imbalance in colours i briefly considered giving him a cape like a Matador would have but only for a second or so. I wanted to keep Robbie's iconic body shape untouched by a bunky cape, also the few times he wore a cape in the show he really struggled with it and also i think it would've clashed with the tail
Tail - speaking of which, an ox' tail has that frizzy end to it but i really liked the chain as his tail so to emulate the thicker part at the end i hung a padlock there. And that really worked. Not only bc that's just how bulls and ox are kept in check with their strength but also because the oblong shape of a combination lock makes for a fitting shape and can be used in universe. You see, Robbie is not that good with just saying what he wants or expressing how he feels. This four letter combination lock is magic and kinda betrays and helps him at the same time. It spells out any given four letter word that fits his mood best at any given moment
Miraculous Nosering - if a Lazytown character would unironically get a nosering, it'd be Robbie. I'm sorry, i don't take criticism on that
Horns - he needed horns. He just did. Look how good he looks with horns! But for real, in Miraculous Ladybug Chat Noir gets actual cat ears so he can get actual horns, also like Chat he the white parts of his eyes turn yellow like Stompp's while keeping his signature grey iris
Hair - ox' are mostly shown with like bangs covering their eyes so i couldn't resist ruffling his usually so perfectly done hair up to make it fall a little like that
Weapon - my first thought of "Miraculous takes cliché traits for animals to base their powers on so i guess bullfighting is the way to go here" made me really sad. This "Sport" is so disgusting i wanted to cry and puke while reading about it. I'll spare you the details but in addition to the Matador in the arena there's other guys too to weaken the bull before the Matador kills it, one of them throws knives. Miraculous Ladybug likes combining weapons with toys so I'm giving him darts. They are fastened to the front of his harness and i think how they can be used is along the lines of, once he zhrows them with his super strength and they pin into something they can only be removed when he allows that, also like the ladybug's jojo they can fly how long and whatever direction he wants, and probably also is able to just manifest them back to himself if ever one gets lost
Miraculous Power - again, just pure speculation here, but the powers we so far know of are all loosely based on an exaggerated cartoon trope of each animal so for the ox that is hard working and persistent and for the bull that'd be aggression and tunnel vision. While typing this i get the urge to add blinders to his mask but i digress. So i made up an exaggerated power that'd fit both but when i told my test group (two people) one said "oh, kinda like Bloodhound from Apex Legends" and the ozher said "so like hunter's mark from DnD" i play neither so i don't know but maybe you do do that's the short version of the explanation xD his power is based on the cartoonish depiction of a bull seeing something that bothers him and then charging at it for as long as he can until he gets it. Once Robbie focuses on an enemy or someone running away or someone he is following for whatever reason he can use his power to keep track of them. No matter how far away they go or where they try to hide. It sounds OP as shit but think of the Snake and Bunny who can both time travel and then say that again. The catch is he needs to use it while that person is still in clear sight for him so i think it balances a little better
Name:
Do you know the difference between a Bull and an Ox? Well, let me mansplain it to you anyway
The reason i kept switching between drawing inspiration from bulls and ox' is because it's the same animal. Those are both names for an adult male cow. The only difference being that an ox is castrated and a bull is not. Stompp is the Ox Miraculous so tough nuts Robbie, literally. But making babies isn't really on his to do list anyway with Sportacus as his partner so who cares.
Anyway, I had the design done and like always i struggled a lot with naming it
But then i learned a Bullock is not only a cool word that seems to be a mix of bull and lock like his design is but it also is the official name of a male cow too young to be castrated yet! Isn't that just perfect? I think it is
Also I'll include in this section the phrases one needs to speak to have Stompp transform them into this Ox themed Superhero and for the power to activate. If you think of something more fitting for either please let me know!
Transformation:
simple version - horns up / horns down
More detailed - time to charge / time to loaf
(charging is when a bull starts running blindly at something; loafing is the professional farmer term for a resting cow)
Power: Target Charge, Locked On, or my personal favorite option Head-On. Again going with the more in depth terminology, that's what the running style of a bull is called when he's chatging at a target
Story:
Robbie lived in Lazytown but when the kids grew louder and older and he got more annoyed wih not having his peace and quiet he just up and left. He spent a lot of time traveling around, living wherever it was comfortable and leaving when it wasn't anymore. Thanks to being an inventor and overall talanted crafty person he got by pretty easily as there was always a company running on "hire a lazy person for an important job, they'll find the easiest solution for the most complicated problems" so he never really had to worry.
Whether by coincidence or fate Robbie and Sportacus run into each other and despite Robbie being a little difficult they both immediately feel strangely drawn to one another. With time going by they meet more often, at first more or less by chance but eventually they plan to meet up regularly. They might have very different ways of doing it but they share a common lifestyle: helping out others to live a comfortable and fulfilling life.
Only after Sportacus was chosen to be the new Guardian of the Miracle Box he finally asks Robbie to join him, full time by his side traveling in his airship around the world wherever they may be needed. Of cause only for moral support and such, obviously. You see, they always enjoyed each others company and sort of over time eased into a relationship like coexistence but neither of them ever really acknowledged that. Only when Sportacus got Nooroo's power to sense other people's feelings that barrier of miscommunication fully fell. Robbie is incredibly bad with conveying his emotions but now Sportacus can sense that he has potentially the most powerful and purest emotions he ever encountered. Not only is each feeling of his powerful but when there is more than one at play they don't mix together and muddy each other but instead boost even more. He knew before that he wanted Robbie to join him but that discovery made it a necessity.
Despite not being able to actually say so Robbie is thrilled to come along. Only over time and with a lot of painfully slow conversations they manage to agree to make their relationship official.
Stompp, the sassy Ox Kwami, regularly bursts out of the Miracle Box to want to check on Nooroo and slowly he and Robbie bond over telling Sportacus and Nooroo to go easier on themselves and let a little responsibility get taken off their shoulders so eventually they team up and Bullock is created.
Thanks to Robbie's hard work to better himself with Sportacus' help, Stompp's magic transformation provides him with a tail that conveys his feelings for him.
When they hear that Lazytown has been wiped clean of grown-ups Sportacus immediately flies them over there so Robbie can check on his hometown. Finding only a few children, now teens, left there Robbie recognizes them and the two form the plan to give them Miraculous' too so they can help to find their lost family, friends and neighbors and fight together to bring them back.
Wow that was so much to read and you did it! I'm so impressed and thankful! You deserve a pat on the back (if you want one) and a cookie and/or sportscandy on your way out
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@swtorpadawan tagged me in this meme, and I am hella into it. This is my favourite musing bc swtor in the canon of star wars is fucking hilarious. On a side note, for anyone who does this and chose only one oc, but has thoughts about the others oh my god do and let me know. Im a snoopy bish give them all to me. In this case I’m going to try to keep it brief while covering my main four, Viticalia, Thomsyn, Belville and Montym. Partly bc I’ve been thinking about their dynamics for a joint Alliance Commander AU lately
This got really long, bc I couldn’t choose one, and Im a wordy bish, so I’ve put the actual answers under the cut, so as not to kill everyones dashes
What would your OC do if they were thrown through time and into Star Wars the Clone Wars:
1. Who would they fight for?
I think most of them would either end up going independent or siding with the Republic. Montym and Belville would actually be the most likely to commit to the Republic, they’re both two people who value loyalty and understand that sometimes things need to be changed from the inside out. Thomsyn I think would stay with the Republic, but may end up with the Grey Jedi. She isn’t inclined to this whole “just peacekeepers” deal and would want to take the fight to the Sith directly. Viticalia would be an independent, committing to neither except for who would pay her most, or just destroy the CIS and take her place at the top of it. She would not be willing to submit to being ordered around by Dooku, or lord forbid Grevious or Ventress, and she definitely wouldn’t appreciate Sidious being unwilling to step up on the frontline with his troops.
2. If not a force user, would they keep their job (Would a trooper still work for this new Republic and would an Agent be loyal to the Separatists?)?
Bel would probably make a play to join the SIS. And then immediately question how the SIS went from agents like Theron to seemingly having the capabilities of two people and paperclip. I’m just saying how did no one put any of the diddly dang dots together. He’d be the type to pull off an op and then basically drop it at the Jedi’s feet like “here, give me a job.” I’ll get into why he would go to the republic in a bit.
3. Who would they hate?
Vits would despise Dooku and Sidious. She would like Ventress but find her training considerably lacking. She understand some cunning, undercover work, and what it can do, that’s why she and Bel get along, but the lack of commitment to stand beside your men and fight with them is something she despises.
Thomsyn would have some problems with the way the Jedi, but she and Montym would both have a much bigger problem with Senate oversight. They’re both used to working with politicians, but the inability to work without that oversight would bother them. Neither of them think the Jedi are infallible, but they both have a big problem with the idea of needing politicians to greenlight things like humanitarian missions. 
Bel would have a huge problem with the Jedi that he keeps under lock and key. Part of it would be due to Kothe. The other part is...well he’s seen what happens when Sith lead, he doesn’t really think the Jedi should be given military power for their ability with the Force either. 
4. Who would they get along well with?
Bel would actually get along really well with GAR Specforces. I think he’d adjust pretty easily to them, and people like Skirata and Vau would be comfortingly familiar as Bel actually got along really well with Shae and Torian. And he would very much enjoy the troopers, he understands their mindset, and especially with the Commandos, they understand the importance of intel people like Bel are meant to provide. He’d also be all in to spar with the ARC’s, and hone his skills against theirs.
Montym would have had a romantic crush on Obi-Wan within five seconds of the man dramatically dropping his cape and that’s really all there is to it. He would also get along well with Senator Organa.
Like I said earlier, I think Vits would have liked Ventress, and probably tried to poach her as an apprentice in a damn second. Thomsyn I’m not really sure who she’d get along with best.
5. What would they think of the Jedi Order?
Viticalia has, and always will be fascinated by the Jedi in that sort of detached, research-esque way. Otherwise she doesn’t care about them much, although she does find it a bit amusing to watch some of them tout the ideals of the Republic as things go down hill. She at least never had any misconceptions about the Empire. Thomsyn and Montym sort of understand how the Jedi could have come under such heavy control of the Senate. They both would have hoped for better, but aren’t that surprised, not after Saresh.
Bel could not care less about the Jedi. Likes them well enough individually for the most part, but that’s his approach to any and all force users really.
6. What would they think of the “rule of 2” Sith?
Viticalia thinks its the stupidest thing ever. Probably starts taking on as many slightly sensitive people as she can and calls them her Apprentices just to piss off these new “Sith”. Really she’s just adopting herself a bunch of children, but it counts and that’s all she cares about.
7. What would they think of having a clone and droid army fighting instead of typical soldiers?
Bel understands what its like to be treated as less than a person. As an asset only. It’s still something he does to himself, thinking about himself as only an asset or a liability, which is a mindset Theron’s working on having him get rid of. So he would sympathize pretty heavily, which is part of why he’d go to the Republic. He’s turned the tide of a war and saved countless of his coworkers in the military before, he would try it again.
Viticalia and Thomsyn would have more practical issues with the idea a droid army. They aren’t creative, they can’t interpret, and they aren’t built for every situation. Thomsyn however would have a lot of problems on the legality of clones, whereas Vits is used to slavery and is prone to forgetting about how that works.
Montym thinks the whole idea on either side is terrible, for various reasons, but cannot stand that clones are not legal citizens but the Republic uses them anyhow.
8. If Republic - if they became a general in the army what would their relationship with their clones be like?
I think Montym would accept a position as a General, Thomsyn...maybe for a while. Montym is a little better with handling the cost of war, whereas Thomsyn counts on herself to keep everyone around her alive. I think they’d both be on good terms with their troopers, Montym would take a bit longer, he’s quiet and a bit...odd, but when he likes people he makes it clear. Thomsyn would get close to them quickly, and each death would hit her pretty hard.
9. If Imperial - what would they think of the complete lack of sith and excess of droids in the Separatist army?
Viticalia has soooo many problems about tradition with the way the Sith operate, but in particular thinks the CIS is...stupid. The idea of a civil war is fine, sure, but their execution is lacking. Bel thinks they’re stupid but also finds it very funny. Terrible tactics, questionable leadership, not a good spy in sight... but he also thinks the way the Republic has alienated so many of their own...well he’s seen it before with Imperial worlds, and after Saresh it isn’t surprising. He’s largely disillusioned and just wishes someone would learn from their mistakes already. Part of what would push him to join the Republic in this case would be that he values peoples lives a lot more than droids, and he hasn’t valued the Sith as leaders in a long time, so he has no reason to go to the CIS and as far as he’s concerned, Republics got the better chance. 
10. Consider they were born in this era - where would they fit in Clone Wars canon?
This I’ve actually thought about this a bit. Thomsyn and Montym would be still pretty much the same, Jedi, although Thomsyn would not have joined the Grey Jedi in that AU as she would be more accustomed to what this Republic is like. Viticalia I would go with a Jedi who leaves the order eventually, simply because it would be really fun to explore a much more light-sided Vits. Bel’s a bit more difficult to place, in a society that doesn’t put as much importance on genetics and perfection, he would have the chance to do whatever he liked, which he didn’t in the Empire. In an au that follows his canon life a little better, he would probably join the SIS, but more likely as an anaylst or undercover agent, not as a sniper and agent. 
Honestly time travel and born in that era, they’re def aus I’ve thought about writing
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dandelionpath · 5 years
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Hey, Comet! Is there such a thing as seeing fake signs and signals? Or can certain things not be messed with because the universe is more powerful than that? Honestly, what does the universe tolerate people doing? I'm in a philosophical mode today lol
ANON I AM SO HERE FOR THIS!!! THOSE ARE SOME LARGE QUESTIONS!! I LOVE this kind of discussion honestly!!!
OKAY SO. “is there such a thing as seeing fake signs and signals?” YES. ABSOLUTELY YES. more clearly, though, there is such thing as seeing things and MISTAKING them for signs and signals. sometimes things are just mundane, and we mistake them for a sign, especially if we’re really desperate for a sign. HOWEVER. there’s an idea that I've been playing around with lately, and that is that there may not really ever be such thing as coincidences and that everything happens for a reason. but even within that track of thought... there can still be mistaken signs. I think there’s also something to be said for entities that want to fuck with you either for their own amusement or for more malicious and nefarious purposes: an entity can definitely mess with you and give you “signs” that you interpret as from a deity or whoever, when it’s actually just an entity leading you astray. YOU HAVE TO BE EXTREMELY CAREFUL WITH SIGNS!!! I uh... controversial here, but I actually don’t rely on signs very much on my practice. I used to always want signs, but tbh? If i’m getting what I need out of my practice with what i’m doing, and i’m practicing good discernment in my encounters and path, then signs aren’t really needed. signs are mostly for getting your attention or “proving” someone/something’s existence. but signs can be faked, just like anything else!
“Or can certain things not be messed with because the universe is more powerful than that?” I think that while the Universe is very powerful, it ultimately does not toy around with us very often. I think that the Universe is this overarching energy and force, something that is a blanket of sorts over everything and anything. But within that, there are the deities we work with. and underneath the deities, there are the other entities. the Universe is BIG, some might even say INFINITE. and while we are all offspring of and part of the Universe, we are miniscule next to it. we are not forgotten, but we also are not very important to it overall. we don’t have a lot of sway over the grand scheme of things, and we are like little ants, just busy going about our business.SO WHAT I AM TRYING TO GET AT IS THIS: the Universe is powerful, yes, but ultimately it doesn’t particularly care enough about us to get involved. deities can send us signs, but it’s probably extremely rare (if it ever does happen) for the Universe itself to send us signs. the universe does its thing and if it works out then great, but if something gets a little bit scrambled along the way, then that’s just kind of... how it goes,,,,, hmmmm. I haven’t really thought tooooo much about this sort of thing, because I haven’t worked with this sort of thing much yet! But I’m definitely going to be doing some thinking and experimenting now!!also: the universe probably doesn’t care enough about you specifically to be like “hey this entity is fucking with you and those are fake signs so beware”. it’s up to us to practice and use discernment to keep ourselves safe! don’t rely on outside sources, especially if they are incorporeal!! 
“Honestly, what does the universe tolerate people doing?“ GOOD QUESTION. I think that the Universe respects that we all have our own agendas and while there might be some sort of “grand plan” (ineffable hehe), we still have free will and do our own thing. which COULD potentially fuck with the Universe, but also...hmm. here, i’ll hand out a bad metaphor to try and explain this. Let’s say the Universe is the Sun, and us humans are ants. That’s not even the scale we’re working on, the Universe is MUCH bigger than that, I’d imagine, but for the sake of clarity, we’re just gonna work with this. so the Sun has its agenda: keep burning, keep twirling around space, keep doing its thing as it’s supposed to, etc. and the ants have their agenda: keep working for the queen ant, keep getting food, make sure their race doesn’t die out, etc. if the ants do something that doesn’t really line up with what ants are supposed to do, like lets say a few ants decide to go bonkers and kill off a bunch of other ants, that’s not going to affect the sun very much. BUT. if the sun decides to go bonkers and fucks right off to who knows where, abandoning earth, then the ants are gonna be screwed!thats kind of how it feels with universe vs humans! so the universe tolerates people doing their thing, and it actually super doesnt care very much bc we can’t really affect it. but if the universe ever decided to fuck with us, then yeah we’d be screwed!!!
I HOPE THIS ANSWERS SOME STUFF, ANON, AND REMEMBER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION AND MY THOUGHTS AND MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE!!! if u have more questions, feel free to raid my inbox, I LOVE discussing stuff like this!! also helping ppl and answering questions!!!
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imtrynnawriteshit · 6 years
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Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades
I have nothing to say for myself
@ the anon who requested this: you're now allowed (and in some countries even legally obligated) to punch me!!!
Also you're v good friends with Aspasia in this bc the beginning had been stuck in my head for ages lmao
Thank c:
Words: I edited this on Tumblr mobile and now I'm too lazy to check (I'll do it later though. Maybe)
Warnings: Two swear words, I think. And the usual: suggestive themes, terrible writing, too many commas, me projecting my thirst onto y'all (I'm sorry, pals :/)
Characters: Kassandra, Alkibiades, Reader, a whole lotta name throwing, Herodotos makes a friendly appearance :)
Relationships: Kassandra x reader, Alkibiades x reader, Kassandra x reader x Alkibiades
Request: Your Kassandra/Reader gave me an idea for a request so sorry if its dumb haha. Basically I was super happy you included Alkibiades because hes my FAV and I'd die for him. ANYWAY. Could you write one where the reader is at Perikles symposium, and has always had a thing for Alkibiades but was too shy to take him up on his offers, and always regretted it. But then she meets Kassandra and WHAM INSTANT CRUSH so she basically convinces the reader to... eh. Join in the fun? Heh.
Damn Aspasia and her need to arrive fashionably late. She’d promised she wouldn’t be too long this time, but you should’ve known better. And here you thought you'd done a good job convincing her.
You’d been standing around for ages, casually mingling with the guests and steering very, very clear of Sokrates, no matter how many times he tried to catch your eye. You’d have to drain the city of it's wine before you could even consider the thought of engaging him in conversation. At a party, no less. You were here to enjoy yourself, and that did not include a conversation about philosophy going nowhere.
You’d just left Euripedes and Aristophanes to tease Sophokles when you ran into an already extremely tipsy Alkibiades, who seemed thoroughly pleased to see you.
His hands immediately landed on your waist to steady himself, yours going to his shoulders to aid him. You held on to him softly (after all, he might end up stumbling again, and you were a good friend who looked out for others; or at least, that's what you told yourself), and you almost had to physically restrain yourself from running your hands through his hair. Your stomach fluttering, you prayed to every deity that you didn't end up making an absolute fool of yourself.
“I hoped I'd run into you tonight," he paused, leaning in closer, taking in your form hungrily. "And don't you look absolutely delicious."
By the gods. You tensed slightly, your hands beginning to tremble a little. Thankfully, he didn't notice, although his hands did drop to your hips.
"Join me, wouldn’t you? The night is still young, and there’s so much more we can do to make it more…interesting.”
At Aspasia's request, you'd worn the robes she'd gifted you a while back. They were flattering, very much so, and Alkibiades’ attention proved it.
Then again, he didn’t really need an excuse to proposition you.
“I-It’s nice to see you too, Alkibiades, but-“
“But you can’t, yes, so I’ve heard. Many times. Trust me (Y/N), one of these days, I’m going to see if you’re just as magnificent behind closed doors.”
You just shook your head, smiling bashfully as he turned to walk away, stumbling into a pillar. Heaving a sigh, you decided to at least try and have a proper conversation with him tonight, one that didn't involve you stumbling over your words. Baby steps, right?
You were in the middle of hyping yourself up when you noticed Herodotos standing alone by the entryway, watching the festivities. You were approaching him when he was suddenly joined by a woman, someone you didn’t know.
But by the gods did you want to.
Herodotos smiled and shook your hand when you were closer to the pair, accidentally interrupting their conversation.
“(Y/N)! It’s good to see you again."
“You too, Herodotos. I didn't mean to interrupt, I'm sorry."
He smiled, shaking his head. "You always were too polite for your own good. It's no problem at all."
Even as you addressed him, you glanced at the woman by his side. "It’s been a while. I haven’t seen you in Athens, lately.”
“I’ve taken to travelling the Greek world. This is Kassandra of Sparta”, noticing your gaze, he gestured to the woman beside him, who was watching you with an expression you couldn’t quite place, “a misthios, and the commander of the ship I'm sailing on. Kassandra, this is (Y/N) of, well, Athens."
"A pleasure to meet you, Kassandra."
"Believe me, (Y/N), the pleasure is all mine."
You could've melted right there. The sound of your name rolling off her tongue was now possibly one of your favourites. Your face must've given you away, because you swore you could see the beginnings of a smirk on her lips. That you now couldn't stop staring at. You were quickly snapped out of your daze by Herodotos excusing himself to find the host.
Kassandra was quick to continue the conversation.
"How do you know Perikles?"
Thankfully, you'd become accustomed enough to this question that you weren't too flustered, and your response was almost automatic.
"Oh, my brother is one of the proedroi, and doesn't usually attend parties, so I'm forced to come instead. Not that I'm complaining, of course, it’s how I’ve managed to become well acquainted with Perikles and Aspasia." You smiled softly at her, trying not to let your eyes drop below her face.
It didn’t work, but you also didn't regret it too much. Those arms were sinful, and you could only imagine what they could do-
You shook your head slightly, mortified at how you'd been so caught up in your daydream you'd taken to ogling her, and thought you caught a glimpse of amusement in her eyes.
Why, oh why did this only ever happen to you?
You needed to leave before you embarrassed yourself any further, but at the same time, you were reluctant to deprive yourself of her company. Which was ridiculous, considering you barely knew her.
As if you weren’t bad enough when it came to Alkibiades.
At the same time, the fact that she was from Sparta intrigued you. And you were nothing if not curious. Clearing your throat, you continued, "but I must say, I'm surprised to see a Spartan here. What brings you to Athens?”
At this, she seemed to consider you for a moment. Her gaze had become calculating, and you almost felt uncomfortable under her scrutiny. But you must've looked trustworthy to her.
Or just harmless enough to deal with in case she was wrong.
(You hoped it was the former.)
“I’m searching for a Spartan woman. My mother. Herodotos thought I might have been able to find some information here."
You frowned in thought. You weren't sure of how much information she'd find, but the least you could do was point her in the right direction. “Unfortunately, I won’t be of much help to you-"
"Now, that is unfortunate. I would have loved to repay you in any way I could." Was it just you, or were her eyes lidded?
You had a hard time trying to finish what you were saying when your treacherous mind was instead focused on the suggestive tone her voice had taken, but you managed.
"but, I think, um, Alkibiades might know something. Aspasia too, but she - she isn’t here yet.”
She let out a little chuckle. "So you were of help anyway. Thank you, (Y/N)."
She smiled then, and gently squeezed your shoulder. Your skin burned under her touch, and almost as if she knew that, she let her hand trail down your arm before pulling away to talk to the others, throwing you another inexplicable look over her shoulder.
You definitely needed more to drink.
-
You were stunned, to say the least, when she found you again in the kitchens. The pitcher of wine in your hands, a source of comfort only a moment ago, now felt heavy with...shame, was it? You couldn't tell. The rush in which you set it on the table behind you only made you it worse.
Kassandra, however, didn’t notice. Or maybe just didn’t care. She stepped closer to you, glancing around the tiny room as you involuntarily took a step back.
Your nerves must have made themselves known, because she only closed the distance between the two of you, her amusement plain on her features now.
“I don’t bite, you know.”
What on earth were you supposed to say to that?
“I-I didn’t-“
“Unless”, she continued, ignoring your, frankly, pathetic attempt at redeeming yourself, “you’d like me to.”
Fuck.
You let out a shaky laugh, hyper aware of everything around you: the table digging into your back, Kassandra only inches away from you, the tension in the air.
Gulping audibly, you cleared your throat.
“Are you - is there something I can help you with?”
“You know, I believe there is. Alkibiades asked me to find some oil for him. You seem to be well acquainted with the kitchen", her voice had a teasing lilt to it as she shot the pitcher a pointed look. You wished the gods would take pity on you and strike you where you stood. They didn't. "So I hoped you'd know.”
You did, and with a stuttered "of course", you turned to grab it. Handing it to her proved to be a little difficult, though, when she pulled you even closer (if that was possible), her hands on your waist. You were fairly certain your heart had stopped beating.
“You’re looking a little tense.”
“Oh, uh, I hadn’t noticed. I think it might be the wine-”
“Wine relaxes you, (Y/N), but it looks like it hasn’t worked at all. Here, come with me.”
And before you could protest, you were led away, one of her hands now on the small of your back. In the blink of an eye, you found yourself in front of a door, which opened to reveal Alkibiades.
A very naked Alkibiades.
You immediately averted your eyes, questioning every decision that led you to this point. Kassandra, on the other hand, seemed unaffected.
"Your oil."
Oh, you were still holding it. Still looking anywhere but at the two of them, you held it out for Alkibiades to take. And for the second time, you were left holding it as he reached for you instead.
Kassandra grinned. "You're a shy one, aren't you?
"I just...didn't expect -"
"There's a lot you wouldn't expect from me, but I always satisfy." Alkibiades' grip tightened around you. "What say we put this oil to good use and I prove it?"
You hesitated, but you knew that you wanted to. Especially with the way those two were looking at you.
"I certainly wouldn't be opposed to it." Kassandra said, wearing a salacious smile that was mirrored on Alkibiades and almost made your knees buckle.
"After all, what's a party without a little fun?"
Oh, what the hell.
"You're right." The gleeful surprise on their faces filled you with a sense of confidence. "A little fun never hurt anyone."
"Although, my fun is hardly little", Alkibiades said as they led you in. Only one coherent thought ran through your mind as the door closed behind you:
Fuck baby steps.
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hermannsthumb · 6 years
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Newmann with 33 please? Because you know that Hermann's dad would never let him go sledding or do anything fun as a child, so Newt makes it his personal mission to give Hermann the maximum sledding experience without any pain to his bad leg.
yes this prompt is two months old but its still winter so?
33: we don’t know each other that well but i found out that you’ve never been sledding and feel like it’s my personal mission to change that (adjusted slightly to “theyre married actually” bc i kinda wrote this before i read the whole prompt LOL)
from winter prompts here
“Trust me,” Newt says, and he smiles back at Hermann over his shoulder. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
It’s the wrong thing to say, maybe; there are a lot of bad things that could happen. A lot of things that could go wrong. Newt’s like a walking beacon for bad things, and things going wrong, and disasters in general. He doesn’t blame Hermann for looking nervous, nor for the way he grips tighter to Newt’s waist, nor for the small panicked noise he makes in the back of his throat at Newt’s less-than-reassuring words.
"This is a bad idea,” Hermann says. “This is a very bad idea, Newton.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Newt says cheerfully.
The thing is, bad idea or not, it’s all Hermann’s fault to begin with. Or maybe technically it’s Hermann’s dad fault. It’s snowing--like, snowing a bunch, enough that the university forced them to cancel their lectures, enough that Newt had to work his vastly under-used (and mostly nonexistent) muscles after months of laziness and shovel out their front walk way, enough that one could, conceivably, find a nice big hill and spend an afternoon sledding down it to their heart’s content. Newt expressed such a sentiment to Hermann wistfully as they cuddled on their couch and watched snow drift gently past their big bay windows.
(“Like being a kid again,” he said after posing the sledding observation to Hermann, all while Hermann did his very best to distract him with making out, and Hermann grazed his teeth at Newt’s ear and said, “Father would never allow me,” and then tried to worm his hand up Newt’s sweater, and Newt startled so bad he made Hermann jump and actually bite Newt’s ear and then yelped “What?” because it shouldn’t surprise him but, goddamn, Hermann’s dad really did a number on his kids, and now they’re here, all the way out at the hill down the road with a sled Newt bought off their thirteen-year-old neighbor for $20 and a promise to take good care of it.)
“You just gotta hold on to me,” Newt says, as if Hermann isn’t already clinging to him for dear life. He smiles reassuringly again and pats Hermann’s hand. “I’ve got you, honey.”
Hermann makes that distressed noise again. After making sure he’s properly arranged, that his leg is propped at an angle alongside Newt’s that’s not uncomfortable, Newt grips the sled’s rope handle with one hand and pushes them off with the other.
Newt’s shared most of his adult life with Hermann (all the way from the tender age of twenty-three), and as of late, a good deal of that shared time’s been spent making up for all the shit Hermann missed out on growing up. Or even beyond growing up--all the shit Hermann was too self-restrained or frugal or isolated to do as an adult. Newt takes Hermann to amusement parks (where he spoils him with cotton candy and wins him huge stuffed animals in games that are probably scams), and beaches (where they have fancy drinks with tiny paper umbrellas and Newt rubs Hermann’s sunblock in very thoroughly), all the nerdy museums Hermann’s nerdy heart could possibly desire (Newt even lets Hermann do the audio tours), and he cooks him food Hermann’s never tried but always waned to and books him long massages at fancy spas and picks out soft clothing that actually fits him and kisses him a bunch (every day, all the time, all day if Hermann would let him, and sometimes he does), but he never realized sledding was something he’d have to add to the list. What else was Hermann not allowed to do as a kid? Fingerpaint? Watch cartoons? Find cool bugs in creeks and play in mud? Fucking tragedy.
Hermann’s shrieking. It takes Newt a while to realize that’s what that ringing in his ears is.
“Isn’t this fun?” he shouts back at Hermann, as wind whips back his hair and scarf and snowflakes fly at his glasses and blind him; he can’t exactly see where they’re going, so he hopes they’re not about to hit a tree or a small child or anything.
Hermann keeps shrieking. And shrieking.
When they hit the bottom of the hill, it’s not nearly as graceful as Newt hoped it’d be: the sled stops, but they don’t, and they tumble off into the snow in a chaotic tangle of limbs and winter coats, Newt’s glasses flying off in one direction and his Hermann-knitted hat in another. He takes all of Hermann’s weight when he lands on top of Newt, and they grunt painfully in unison. At least Hermann’s stopped shrieking, even though that probably means he’s about to start yelling at Newt instead.
“Uh, well,” Newt says. “How was that?”
He can only just make out Hermann’s face where it hovers a few inches above him--no details, only vague and blurry shapes, Hermann’s messy dark hair, his round granny glasses that somehow remained completely in place, the snowflakes that drift around him. Then, to his surprise, Hermann kisses him. “You moron,” he says, far too affectionately, “you’ll be the death of me.”
Newt grins and drags him by the ugly parka in for another kiss. “But it was fun?”
“I suppose,” Hermann says. “Though I’m not overly fond of the prospect of walking back up.”
It is a pretty big hill, which already sucks, and on top of that Newt talked Hermann out of bringing his cane, which seemed like a great idea at the time (he can walk pretty okay without it, so long as he has Newt’s arm to lean on) but is giving Newt serious doubts now. “Tell you what,” Newt says. “I’ll carry you.”
He knows Hermann likes it when he works those barely-there muscles, and that Hermann likes it even more when he works those muscles on Hermann, so he’s not all that surprised when Hermann kisses him once more in response and rubs their pink noses together. Newt’s going to cuddle the shit out of him later. “Mm. Alright.”
“Ideally, though,” Newt says, squinting up at Hermann, “we find my glasses first. Technically that’s my spare pair, so--”
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