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awearywritersworld · 1 year ago

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my very soul demands you

sukuna x reader summary: you introduce sukuna to cuddling and romance novels. meanwhile, he's still struggling to make sense of his feelings for you, despite wanting to commit murder because another man had the nerve to touch your arm (which earns him a lecture from yuuji). w/c: 2.5k tags/warnings: enemies to lovers. angst to fluff. jealous!sukuna. aged up!yuuji. features yuuji x reader. cursing. banter. hopefully not too ooc for sukuna. not canon compliant. fem!reader. no use of y/n. no manga spoilers. a/n: this could maybe be read as a stand alone, but it'd flow much better with the context of the previous two parts. lots of denial and begrudging softness from sukuna here. definitely more fluff than anything tho. this series has been fun to write, so thanks for reading<3 i appreciate reblogs or feedback! let me know if you'd like to be tagged in any additional parts. series masterlist // masterlist

when you crawl in between sukuna's legs and curl up against his chest, it's a foreign experience that makes his body stiffen.

he'd been with countless women during his lifetime, but while fucking is one thing, he never once found himself in a position that struck him as this... intimate.

"hold me," you whine as if you can sense his unfamiliarity with such matters.

he rolls his eyes, beginning to wonder if your habit of throwing orders at him is actually some sort of compulsive need. "didn't anyone ever teach you manners?"

despite his irritation, he acquiesces to your demand and once he envelops you in his arms, some of his rigidness dissipates.

you hum contentedly. "isn't that better?"

"it's tolerable," he asserts, his chest vibrating against your cheek.

"whatever you say." tangling your legs with his, you turn your attention back to the movie you've both been watching.

he doesn't understand this... tedious display of affection, nor does he particularly enjoy it... right?

and he only allows it because he can't rid his mind of the image of your tear stained face... right?

yeah, that has to be it. he figures he can endure this, given that he was the reason you were so upset earlier.

it goes without saying that he doesn't realize it when he begins to rub absentminded circles on your back.

and the way the warmth of your body forces his usually tense muscles to relax goes unacknowledged.

when the credits begin to roll, sukuna's wearing an expression of unimpressed disinterest. "that's seriously how it ends?"

you don't respond, so he looks down only to find that you're fast asleep.

"tch. you ask to watch a movie, force me to pick it, and then you don't even have the decency to stay awake." he's not sure why he's chiding you even though he knows you can't hear him, but he keeps his voice low enough that it won't disturb you.

sukuna's spent more time than he cares to admit watching your sleeping form, but this is the first time that it's actually him you're pressed against. it's the first time he can reach out and touch you.

your hair has fallen across your face, so he pushes it back behind your ear gently. the pads of his fingers brush against your cheekbone, a ghost of a caress, and his gaze lingers on your parted lips.

he lets out a deep breath, tearing his eyes away from you. "impertinent brat."

reaching for the remote, he flips off the tv and casts the room in darkness.

upon waking up in the morning, yuuji's confused once he notices that he's on the couch and you're sleeping against his chest.

he may have been half asleep when he arrived home, but he's still positive he went to bed. stretching his arms above his head, the movement jostles you from your slumber.

"mornin', baby."

"good morning, yu," you yawn in response, shifting to sit up.

"how'd i wind up on the couch?" he asks, though he's already got an inkling of the answer.

"oh," you blush. "sukuna kind of made an appearance last night."

"that so? how'd it go?"

you think there might be a shadow of a smirk playing on his lips. is he teasing you?

"good," you offer. "we watched a movie."

"watched a movie with the king of curses," he muses before his face breaks out into a lopsided grin. "you sure are somethin', baby."

returning his smile, you lean in and press your lips to his. "hm. says you."

it's not uncommon for you to meet yuuji for lunch if his mission is short and nearby, and today is one of those days, so he eagerly makes his way to the cafe you agreed on.

he's still a few hundred feet away when he spots you through the window, chatting with a man he recognizes as your childhood friend.

his gaze drops to where his hand is wrapped around your forearm as you both share a laugh together.

it doesn't really bother yuuji, he trusts you implicitly and jealousy isn't an emotion that's really on his radar. the same can't be said for everyone, though.

sukuna watches on as well, his thoughts much darker than his vessel's. who does that wretch think he is, putting his hands on you?

you're not his to touch.

"give me control," sukuna growls, his mouth appearing on yuuji's cheek.

"and why would i do that?"

"so i can rip his heart out and gift it to her since he seems so interested in offering his affections."

"duuuude," yuuji begins, somewhat amused. "i don't think she'd be super crazy about you murdering her friend."

"fine," sukuna bites back, well aware that yuuji has a point. "but he can live without his filthy hands, can't he? perhaps i'll pull each arm from his torso—"

yuuji snorts. "you have some serious issues, man."

he can feel sukuna trying to take over and easily curbs the attempt, though that only fuels the king of curses' irritation. "my only issue lies in the fact you're allowing this to happen."

yuuji reaches the door, a bell chiming through the cafe as he pulls it open. "she's a big girl. she doesn't need either of us to dictate what can and can't happen to her."

once you see your boyfriend, your face lights up and you call out his name. you place a kiss on his cheek and snake an arm around his waist in greeting, and the space it puts between you and your friend is enough to keep sukuna from protesting further.

"you two have met, right?" you ask.

"yeah! hey, itadori! it's been a while."

"it has! good to see you, yamada."

"i'd love to stay and chat more, but i have to get going," he states, leaning in to give you a hug which you return. "we should all go out together soon!"

"absolutely not, you deplorable knave—" yuuji slaps a hand to his cheek before sukuna can continue and yamada gives him an odd look.

your eyes widen for a split second and you have to stop yourself from facepalming.

"what'd you say?" yamada asks, sounding a bit hesitant.

"i said absolutely, sounds like an enjoyable night!"

the men exchange a handshake before you and yuuji make your way to a table.

"sukuna, what the hell was that?" you hiss once yamada's out of earshot.

"i don't know what you mean," he responds smugly.

you meet yuuji's eye and he just shrugs his shoulders, but you swear the corners of his mouth twitch upward.

you can't imagine anything good coming from the two of them colluding with one another, but let it go anyway.

opening up your menu, you sigh in defeat. "if you say so."

"what do you mean you'd rather disembowel yourself?" you question the man sitting across from you.

it's becoming more commonplace to see those dark marks adorning yuuji's body during the nighttime hours. you sometimes wonder if he's letting it happen or if sukuna's just getting better at taking over, but you're too nervous to ask.

"do you need a dictionary? there's one over on the shelf—"

"no, asshole. i know what disembowel means! i just don't understand your refusal."

he raises his eyebrows at the obscenity, but doesn't comment on it. "i'm not reading some inane romance novel."

"but brontë's one of my favorite authors!"

"it makes no difference if it was penned by the gods. the thought alone is absurd. can we move on now?"

you don't respond. instead, you cross your arms and stare at the wall defiantly. your face is contorted into an expression that lets sukuna know you're clearly affronted.

"very mature, you silly little girl."

"sorry you find me and my interests so childish," you huff.

"oh, please. that's not what i said."

you continue giving him the cold shoulder, having no desire to argue further, but more than willing to die on this hill.

"fine, don't talk. it's no matter to me," he claims (despite it being the furthest thing from the truth).

as the minutes tick by, he keeps looking at you from the corner of his eye and exhaling dramatically.

eventually, he calls your name in an exasperated tone, and while it makes your heart flutter, you still don't spare him a glance. you just hold the book out for him and to your surprise, he rips it from your grasp.

"you're ridiculous," he grumbles, opening the cover to reveal the first page. "i hate you."

when he glances over to see you're beaming at him despite the insult, he adds (albeit half heartedly), "i mean it, brat."

the two of you sit in silence, each of you reading your respective books. a few chapters in, sukuna comes across the following conversation:

"do you know where the wicked go after death?" "they go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer. "and what is hell? can you tell me that?" "a pit full of fire." "and should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?" "no, sir." "what must you do to avoid it?" i deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: "i must keep in good health, and not die."

to your astonishment, you actually hear him chuckle, but when he looks over and finds your self satisfied smirk, any hint of humor disappears from his face in the blink of an eye. your hand quickly moves to your mouth to stifle a giggle.

"something you want to say?" he baits you.

"nope, nothing at all!"

two nights later, he's already nearing the end of the story and you refrain from commenting about how quickly he's made his way through.

you doubt he'd allow your current position if you had— you're laying on your side, your head resting comfortably in his lap, one hand occupying the space above his knee.

when you asked if it was okay, all he offered you was a clipped, "i suppose."

your hair is splayed across his thigh and your eyes fluttered shut a while ago. when he agreed to this, he didn't realize how distracting it'd be. his gaze flickers between you and the words on the page with embarrassing frequency.

he's decided what you call cuddling is absolutely suffocating. how anyone could actually enjoy it, he's sure he'll never comprehend. he can hardly concentrate on the novel that's right in front of him—

"read to me, 'kuna," you mumble, interrupting his thoughts. it surprises him that you're still awake.

he scoffs. "what do i look like? your personal audiobook?"

"you didn't even know those existed until like a week ago," you laugh. "c'mon, pleaaaaaase."

he stays quiet for a few moments, so you're under the impression he may just ignore your request. as such, you're exceptionally pleased when his voice fills the otherwise still apartment.

you think the sound of his voice is comforting, an idea that would more than likely make him cringe, so you keep it to yourself. after all, you don't want him to stop.

at some point or another, he begins twirling a strand of your hair around his finger whenever he's not turning the page, an action that seems to take place without his noticing.

occasionally he'll pause to ask if you're even listening. it's an odd feeling that blossoms in his stomach when you assure, "mhmm. every word."

as he reaches the second to last chapter, he reads a line that makes you question whether your heart's stopped beating. you're not sure if it's because of the tone of his voice, the words he's imparting, or some mix thereof.

"no—no—jane; you must not go. no—i have touched you, heard you, felt the comfort of your presence—the sweetness of your consolation: i cannot give up these joys. i have little left in myself—I must have you. the world may laugh—may call me absurd, selfish—but it does not signify."

he stops reading, as if he too feels the sense of unease that's invaded the air. against your better judgement, you turn to look at him. his eyes are glued to the page, almost like they're avoiding you, and his jaw is tense.

"my very soul demands you: it will be satisfied, or it will take deadly vengeance on its frame.”

when his gaze finally lands on you, his expression is almost pained. it's a strange contrast to the warm fondness you spot in his eyes.

you quickly push that thought away, however. whatever you believe you may have seen, you're probably just deluding yourself. you know you aren't his least favorite person, but surely he'd never feel even half of that sentiment toward you—

your breath catches in your throat when his hand reaches up, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. he still marvels at the fact you don't shy away from his touch, that you're usually the one to seek out contact with him.

perhaps the story is not as asinine as he expected it to be. rochester presumes jane will find him revolting, yet she still agrees to be with him, even after his selfishness has been made plain to her. after the sins of his past have caught up to him.

no, no, no.

to be so desperate for some woman's approval, or her devotion for that matter, is despicable. rochester's nothing less than foolish and sukuna isn't anything like him.

but you're certainly like jane, aren't you? fearless, passionate, and determined: all things he can't help but find endearing...

gods, what is this turmoil? it's making him feel pathetic and there isn't an emotion in the world he hates more—

you distract him from his internal monologue when your fingers wrap around his wrist and bring his knuckles to your lips. "you okay?"

"of course," he mutters, pulling his hand away. "just trying to get past all the mawkishness."

"really? you think it's that bad?" you question, the frown on your lips igniting that ache in his chest that appears whenever you're upset.

"it's not terrible," he sighs, realizing there may indeed be one thing he despises even more than feeling pathetic. "although i don't understand how jane is so taken with rochester."

you seem to ponder this for a moment before shrugging. "love is weird."

"what a clever analysis."

you slap his chest playfully. "oh, whatever. just keep going, you're almost finished!"

and you're right. he does reach the end of jane eyre that night, but not before you fall asleep on his lap. he closes the book, running a finger down the creased spine and setting it down carefully. it's obvious you've read it several times.

admittedly, he can see why, but he'd be caught dead before he'd ever tell you as much.

left alone with his thoughts, he considers the impossibility of jane and rochester: a charming, headstrong woman and a cruel, arrogant man.

leaning forward, he whispers your name to make certain you're asleep, then places a lingering kiss to your forehead.

"..sweet dreams."

#m!writes #sukuna #sukuna x reader #sukuna imagines #sukuna fluff #ryomen sukuna #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna imagines #ryomen sukuna fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk #jjk x reader #jjk imagines #jjk fluff

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cornyforjk · 5 months ago

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Your quite treason | JJK

ᥫ᭡pairing: married exbsf!jungkook x female reader

ᥫ᭡genre: ex best friends, forbidden love , angst rating: 16+

ᥫ᭡warnings: drug and alcohol usage, mentions of cheating, swearing, depressed, obsession, crying and all that stupid stuff.

ᥫ᭡word count: around 20K (ik it's too much but i couldn't control my feelings 😩)

ᥫ᭡summary: Your love for Jeon Jungkook was ruining your life.

ᥫ᭡inspiration: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone)

ᥫ᭡listen to: Fortnight by The Motherr Taylor Swift (ft.Post Malone), happier by Olivia Rodrigo

ᥫ᭡Author's note: AHHHH, okay, woof. This is the first ever fanfic I'll post, tho I've written many but never posted. Please bare if there's any grammatical mistake and if my writing feels too much.

Show some love and your suggestions are welcome in the comment section 😗

____________________________________

Hello Mrs. Park, how have you been?" You turn around to find Minji, speaking to you while watering the flowers of her front garden.

Minji, Jeon Minji. She always made you feel like the worst person, tho she never meant it. In fact,she's the sweetest and the kindest person you've ever known. And that's why, she's in the position you've always dreamed to be in. That's why she has the man you've always dreamt of.

And the fact, you can never be her nor in her position, makes you feel like the worst person on this earth.

"Hello, Mrs. Jeon, I've been doing just fine. How about you? " Tho your tongue burnt on the feeling of reffering her by the title,you still held up a smile. A smile behind which no one could see the pain. "I'm great, actually! But you, Mrs. Park, you look unwell." You sensed the concern to be genuine and you hated that. "Oh yeah, just tired from work. Yk it's too much these days." You replied, not wanting her to noticing anything wrong with you. "Ah, I understand. Work can get stressful, but I'm sure everything will get tell well soon." She smiles at you, and you see another reason why she's deserves the title more.

You smile back at her and thank her before leaving towards your house, your insides burning with the urge to kill her right then.

"There's a new couple shifting in the house behind ours" Jaehyun, your husband says while he's eating his breakfast. "Oh, in the Jung's? Didn't think they'll actually sell it" You reply, as you pack your lunch, not really caring for the fact. You forgot about it and the new info never crossed your mind once in the day.

It was when the bell rang and you opened the door only to face the new neighbors. Him, Oh god, It's him. Your excitement died the next second when you saw a very pretty women standing right beside him, her arm wrapped around his. "Oh-Oh hey Y/N. I totally didn't expect you! " His face evident with surprise. "You know her, babe?" The woman asked him. "Yeah, hun. She's a college friend. " That's when you felt your heart clench tightly.

Jeon Jungkook, the guy who you've been loving since your collage days even when you got married. The guy you thought of every night before you slept, the guy you thought about when woke up in the morning, the guy you thought about everytime when you ate icecream. Jeon Jungkook, was your friend who you trusted with your life. But now, he was just a stranger you know everything about. (Stranger by the loml Olivia Rodrigo, but the oc isn't over kookie😩)

"H-Hi. How are you J-Jungkook." You couldn't believe it. You've cried so many nights for him. Praying to get back in his arms, have him in your life as anyone, if not a lover. But now that he comes back, he's married. And very happily, you can see.

"I'm doing very well, Y/N. This is Jeon Minji, my wife. We have just shifted in the house right behind your backyard. So nice to see you again." You could feel your eyes pinch with pain, but you tried your best to pull up a bright smile. You can do this, you're very good at hiding feelings. Come on Y/N. "

I'm so happy to see you too. And hello Minji, nice to meet you. Well come in you both. " You move aside for them to come in but the refuse by saying, " It's fine, Y/N. We were just her to Introduce, but guess we don't need to do that. " Minji chuckles and continues, "But we'll see you soon. Have a good night. " She smiles at you, and you feel your legs tickling with jealousy. "You too have a good night, and please don't hesitate if you need any help in shifting. Both me and my husband are willing to help."

You fail to notice Jungkook stiffen as he's reminded that you're married too. He doesn't know why but he's always been uneasy with you being in a relationship and he has no idea why.

Both of them agree and leave after a short goodbye. You shut the door and you suddenly feel all the strength leaving your body. You collapse against the main door, still not believing everything that happened. All the memories that you were burying, we're now out of your control . You could hear his voice, feel his touch and his warmth. Tears made their way out of your eyes as you cry silently.

You unlock the main door to your house as you get inside. It's been so long since they've moved but you can't get yourself to move on. You reach the kitchen to grab a can of bear in an attempt to calm yourself down. But nothing seems to work, every drink or drug, leaves only a temporary effect. You continue loving jungkook even when you're high. You decide to take a cold shower when you hear the main door open again, only to see your shitty husband entering.

Jaehyun, both as a husband and a person, might be the worst guy you've ever met. You don't understand how he's able to lie on your face so smoothly. If you had control, you would have never married him. But fate and your parents had a different plan for you.

Around 2 months ago, your friend Sarah sent you a picture of Jaehyun with a girl sitting on his lap, and they were heavily making out. You didn't feel any pain in your heart but only shame, it felt like he had stepped hard on your dignity, your self respect. He made you feel like the most undeserving person, and he definitely did that intentionaly.

Ever since then, you've never started and conversation with him, disgusted to even look at him. And you guess, it makes it easier for him to leave the house whenever and stay at the girl's place. But you don't bring yourself to care, your mind always drift to jungkook and his very happy married life.

They're living their best lives, the typical rom-com like love life. Jungkook never leaves without a kiss with his wife. And Minji is always ready to welcome him by door when it's time for him to return.

When you had the same time routine, you always witnessed them being the happiest around each other and you had to change your timings. You couldn't bare seeing them being all lovey-dovey, so you leave for work earlier and arrive back home later.

"Y/N? " You were too drunk to hear him calling you. He called you out a few times before his hands reach your right arm to turn you around. "What the fuck!" You slurred, your drunkenness now evident to jungkook. "What are you doing here Y/N?? " He asks you with a strict voice, which soon melts when he sees you pout. "Kook, oh it's you thank god. I thought It was some guy again. " You said slowly as you moved closer to him. You were too drunk and high to remember the argument you had earlier. "Let's get you home Y/N. Don't you have morning classes tomorrow,hm? " He speaks very softly, as is talking to a kid. You mover your side to side, disagreeing with him and then you say, "Noo, let's have another drink and dance. I missed youuu" You wrap your arms around his neck, as your pouts grows even more. He chuckles while holding your waist just as tightly as you're holding him.

He agrees with you and empties the red cup you were having rum and coke in. Both of you weren't a fan of frat parties but whenever you're both together, everything feels the best. Jungkook's breathe fans over your neck as you both dance along On the floor by JLo.

When the chorus of the song starts you along with most of the other girls turn around to twerk along, as if it's a mandatory ritual. Jungkook's cheeks and ears turn bright pink as your ass grazed his crotch a few times while dancing and he wishes you don't notice. You turn back around to hold him again because when you weren't, you felt a certain type of coldness even when you're in bw so many people. His warmth was something which can get you just as high as a joint.

Both of you melted in each other's arms and stayed that way for so long, you didn't even know what song was playing now. "Mhmm, kookie can i kiss you? Just once I promise. " Jungkook wanted it, he wanted you to kiss him forever but he knew it's not safe for your friendship. He can't let his feelings over take him because he knows you only see him as a friend (who you might kiss sometimes 🤭) but how can he say no to you, especially when you're being so cute and adorable. So he decides to fuck it and bend down to kiss you. He captures your lips in a kiss as you both make out in the middle of the crowd. Jungkook felt like the luckiest person ever to have you like this. He has always been so happy that you're open to him with your feelings and uhm.

And you felt similar, just as euphoric and wanted this moment to last forever. Oh, how you wish to have him in all the ways possible. Even pray for it at every 11:11 you notice. And everything feels so good with him around. You were so in love with him but you knew he wasn't.

He has always been the best friend, the bestest you could ask for. But best friends can never be together, thec can never have feelings for each other because it always results in heartbreaks.

And so it did, both of yours heart broke quite terribly. When jungkook had to leave for USA after he got a job placement but he told you about it just 2 days before. Out of anger, you didn't talk to him neither did you come to see him off at the airport. Both of you were hurt, and you both had your reasons.

Next morning when you were returning from a morning run, you ran into Jungkook by the mail box. "Good Morning, Y/N" He wishes you and you just wanted to jump in his arms. "Oh, Good Morning to you too Jungkook! " You wished him back trying to match his level of energy. "How have you been? " You ask him further.

"I've been great, what about you? "

"I'm doing well too. " You reply, knowing you always feel well around him. "Good to hear that. The weather has been terrible these days" He says, trying to start a conversation.

"Yeah, ikr. It's so hot these days,even when it's just February." You both continue talking about random things when he invites you and Jaehyun over for dinner.

"Thank you for the invite, but i don't think Jaehyun will be able to make it, he comes back late these days. " You say and Jungkook could sense your hesitation on the topic of your husband. And ofc, him being the kindest human being , he asked, "oh, btw, is everything fine between you both? Minji mentioned you being very stressed these days. You know you can always reach out. " with concern evident in his eyes.

It became difficult to maintain an eye contact because you both know how terrible you're at lying to him. "W-well, yeah everything is fine between us" You say, your eyes roaming everywhere but jungkook. He knows that's not the truth so he persuades, "Y/N, yk you can't lie to me so tell me what's up? " When you finally meet his eyes, you feel like crying.

He thinks your misery is because of your husband but who's gonna tell him that he's the reason. He's why you're suffering, he's why you're depressed and he's the reason of your misery. You give him a little smile, and when you're about to continue, you get a phone call from your husband. "Uhh, I'll have to take this up. " You tell him and he says, "okay Y/N, I'll get going but please ask for any help that you need, hm? " With that you both smile at each other and leave.

"What? " You ask Jaehyun. "You're not at home? Where are you? " You turn around and see him at the main door. You scoff realising that he's coming back from that girl's place and you want to kill him right there.

It had been a week since you met him and now you were walking towards their house around 10pm. Your dad had been calling since morning but you couldn't answer his once . Though you're high as fuck but you can't find your phone, and that's why you're going to jungkook's place to ask for any of theirs phone.

You ring the bell and wait there for a few seconds. The gate opens and you're met with a just out of shower Jungkook. Your breathe hitches and you feel your cheeks burning. He's just as hot. "Umm, hi Y/N.all good? " He speaks, breaking your trance.

"Oh hellooo" You give him a 90° bow which startles him "I'm good how are youu? " Your words trail of as your brain suddenly feels numb. "Wait- are you drunk? " He recognises your drunken voice but you deny him by saying,

"Noooo. I'm not drunkk I'm Highh hehe" You start giggling and it confuses hi even more "I'm sorry to disturb you at this hour, but i need your phone." You pout, and jungkook feels like he's floating. He knows how it is, but your pout still softens him. "Come inside, it's cold. "

"Your wife isn't at home? " You ask him to which he replies, "no she's out with her friends for drinks."

"Oh cool"

You get inside his house and are amazed how pretty they've made it. This place screams jungkook and it feels so much like home. "So what brings you here? " He asks, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ohh yeahh my phone was calling and I need to call him back but i can't find my dad" You pout again. This time he chuckles, laughing at your words.

"You can't find your dad?" His lips pulling into his iconic bunny smile.

"Yeahh, I can't find my dad. Can you give me your dad so i can call my dad, pleaseeee"

"Here you go, here's my dad" If you both were still young , he would've have teased you a lot. But you both have grown up and even though he wanted to, he couldn't.

"Thank you so muchhhh" You busy yourself dialing your no. when he asked you, "where's your husband tho? "

You were trying so hard to dial your no. correct, that you didn't realize when you said, "he's probably at his girlfriend's. "

"What"

"Holy fuck"

"Shit shit, you didn't hear anything" Your eyes widen with horror and you scolded yourself internally. "Wait fr? Jaehyun's cheating on you? And you know that?? " His eye balls almost out of the sockets, shock evident in his voice.

"Uhh, no no, Yk I'm-im drunk, don't mind that" You tried to play it off but jungkook wouldn't even budge. "Y/N, ik you're telling the truth, you don't have to lie to me. " His eyes full of concern and once again you feel your brain going numb. And you were starting to feel sober, which was even worse.

"Uhmm, I'll have to take your phone over so i can listen to my phone ring. " You ran quickly in an attempt to save yourself from further embarrassment.

Later in your room, you find your phone in your bathroom floor (you have no idea why) And now you have to return jungkook's phone back to him.

You gather so courage and reach his house. You plan on giving it to him and leaving right after thanking him.

And you did so, but after you turned around to leave, he held you arm in an attempt to turn you back. "Y/N, please talk to me. How long have you known this? " You see genuine concern in his eyes and feek like hugging him and crying on his chest.

"Uhh, just let it be jungkook."

"No, tell me. " His voice stern now.

"Why do you even care. It's nine of your business"

"But i just can't see you get hurt. " His voice soft again.

You looked in his eyes, and scoffed. "You can't se me hurt? Of all the hurt I've ever experienced, you have been one reason every fucking time. And you can't see me hurt? Wow"

Jungkook's face falls,but that doesn't stop you. "You fucking hurt me more than anyone does. I don't even care jaehyun's cheating one. It doesn't hurt me. But you do. You hurt me so much that i can't even feel any other pain. " Your voice now louder. Your eyes pinch with pain, tears threatening to fall. But no, you can't do this, not in front of him at least.

"How do i hurt you? " His voice low like a whisper. "Good question Jungkook. You wanna know how you hurt me? How don't wanna know since when you've been hurting me? "

"Y/N you're still mad at what happened almost 10 years ago? " A frown appears on his face and his tone makes you feel as if you're at fault.

"I wouldn't have been if it didn't affect me so much. And why do expect me to not? You told me fucking 2 days before you were leaving for Florida? You never called while you were there. You were living your life and here I was dying. I was suffering." Years finally rolled down your cheeks. And jungkook wanted to wile them down and hug you to make you feel better.

But he was feeling the similar frustration you were feeling. And it became evident when he said, " You weren't the only one Y/N! I was also hurt. You didn't even come to see me off at the airport even when I texted-begged you over text. I wanted to apologize you that day and tell you something important. But you decided to be egoistic and didn't come. And that's why I never called. Even when I was in utter need of help and support, I couldn't call you. Because I lost the level of trust and I knew you won't even pick up. "

His word felt like slap. He's right, you were being a bitch when you didn't meet of on the last day, but you were mad too. "I would have, I was missing you so much, I would have definitely. I would have caught the first flight to Florida only to be with you again." Your words were now slurred due to your crying, when you finally broke and jungkook felt like crying too.

"I know it's wrong, it's so so so wrong but I can't help myself. I can't control myself" You covered your face as you cried even harder. And when you felt his arms engulfing you, you couldn't hepl but wrap your arms around him too. Jungkook stands there caressing your back while he himself cries silently.

"It's so wrong I still can't move on-" Jungkook's heart picks up speed. He's not ready for this. You suddenly pulll away from him and wipe your tears. "I'll get going jungkook. " You left before you could do something that maight ruin not one but many hearts.

And for the next few weeks you so neither jungkook nor his wife and you were very glad for it. It was untill one Tuesday morning when you swa both of them in front of their house. And they were not kissing or anything but arguing? You heard Minji saying, "what has happened to you? You're so distant these days kook. You don't even kiss me a goodbye??" To which jungkook replies, "it's nothing baby, I'm just stressed with work and things are getting lost in the back of me brain. Come here lemme kiss you" You were shocked when you heard Minji saying "No, you're first gonna tell me who else you're so in love with"

"What the hell, Minji? Why would you say that? " Jungkook was just as shocked. You didn't want to hear anything further so you stepped out of the fence and that's when Minji calls you out. "Mrs.Park! Good morning!"

And hearing your name from her mouth, Jungkook's eyes light up and he turns around quickly to look at you. He couldn't control but then he blurted out, "Nice sweater, Y/N."

Minji called you out to check something and she was right. She was right. "Oh Good morning, Jeon fam. And thank you Jungkook. Hope you guys have a nice day!" You wished them and hurriedly left.

And so did Minji. Jungkook was left standing there.

It took him 2 minutes to finally understand how he reacted and complimented you which was totally out of his mind.

And he finally realises how fucked up he is.

#jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #jungkook #jeon jungkoooook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fanfic #bts #bts ff #bts ff recs #bts ffs #taylor swift #fortnight #olivia rodrigo

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stirthewaters · 2 years ago

Note

Can you make a “ You Miss Her “ Part two please? tysm🤍

You Miss Her Pt. 2

SUMMARY: A couple of days after your falling out with Wednesday, you receive news of a 'Werewolf Crisis' in Enid's dorm, and go to check it out.

WARNINGS: Angst. Slightly less than the first part, but still angst nonetheless. There is some fluff at the end tho :)

A/N: Send in those requests, homies! I loved this series and would enjoy some more opportunities to work on writing angst.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

And you were right. You were imagining things. But when the voice fades into the crackling of leaves, you realize that something is coming towards you. Standing and wiping your face, you turn to see Thing scuttling towards you, something scribbled on his palm.

The disembodied hand leaps onto your thigh, showing his palm to you so that you can see the message scrawled onto it;

'WEREWOLF CRISIS; please come! Urgent!! -Enid.'

Emotions mixed, you look at Thing.

"Are you sure she's having a crisis?"

The hand signs frantically, and you sigh, nodding your head.

"All right, I'm coming. But only for Enid."

You follow the surprisingly fast hand back to the academy and into Ophelia Hall. Realizing suddenly that Wednesday might be inside, you stop suddenly, and turn to look at Thing.

"Thing, is Wednesday in there?"

Thing signs no.

You let out a shaky sigh of relief, and open the door, walking in.

Immediately you realize that something's off. Enid is nowhere to be found, and Wednesday is standing on the other side of the room, facing a board covered in pictures of gory body parts.

Letting out a hiss of air from in between your teeth, you realize that this was a trick, you turn to exit the room, but Thing has locked the door, and scuttled off with the key.

"Thing! You stupid piece of--" You groan, kicking the door.

Wednesday turns to face you. Her deadpan expression is only slightly varied by her lifted eyebrows and you can see a flash of guilt in her eye.

"Y/N..." she starts, striding towards you.

"I-" immediately you start backing away. Conflict has never been your strong suit. Heck the one time you were forced into conflict back in seventh grade, you almost started bawling.

And part of you is scared. Scared to talk to her because you're scared as hell that she'll say those words again.

"We need to talk." Wednesday says, studying you. She stands opposite you, clearly keeping her distance because she can tell that you're nervous.

For the past couple of days, Wednesday has felt like hell too. As soon as you left the dorm room, she wanted to kick herself. She knew that she had been having a bad day, but that was no reason to lash out at you, especially when you were just trying to help.

And every time she saw you in the halls, Wednesday felt her hurtful words ringing in the back of her head, and she felt an emotion that she didn't feel often; guilt.

For the past few days, Enid had been trying to convince Wednesday to talk to you; but Wednesday shrugged off her attempts, since every time she had tried to approach you, you had made some lame excuse that you had to grab something from your dorm, or that you were late for a class that wasn't even happening.

And even though she wouldn't admit it; she was worried, because, observant as ever, she could tell that her words had struck deep. Your bubbly personality seemed to have disappeared instantly.

And that tiny emotion of guilt continued to keep a hold on her day and night, and she didn't like it one bit.

So now that you're standing here, facing her, that small voice of guilt is starting to speak louder and louder.

"We need to talk," Wednesday repeats.

You look at her, and then back at the door. There's nowhere to go. You slowly slump against the door, sinking onto the floor in defeat.

"Five minutes. And if Thing doesn't come back here in those five minutes, I'll strangle him," you say, not looking at her.

Wednesday hesitates for a second. She's never been good at apologies, nor using her words to express how she's feeling; you've made her feel things that she does not want to feel but if she doesn't admit them, then she might lose you for good.

"I--I wanted to apologize," she begins, clearing her throat. "What I said was-uncalled for and rude, and you didn't deserve it, nor is it true. I never wished to make you upset."

You look up at her, tears glistening in your eyes.

"Wednesday...what you said hurt."

Wednesday inhales, realizing that her suspicions were right. "You know what I said wasn't true."

You don't say anything, wiping the tears from your eyes; you don't want to see her crying now.

"Please forgive me," Wednesday realized that she was close to begging; something that she would never do unless in an emergency. "Y/N...the way you make me feel is indescribable. You do...you do mean something to me."

You look up at her. Her deadpan expression is slightly crumpled; and her eyes are a bit glossy.

"If...if you say something like that ever again...I won't be giving you a second chance." You mumble, letting out a small sigh of relief and exhaustion. You go to stand, but you suddenly sway dizzily; clearly the fact that you haven't been sleeping or eating has done something to you.

Wednesday approaches now, and she offers you her hand, which, blushing, you take. When you stand, your face is inches from hers.

"You're tired and hungry," she observes, quirking an eyebrow at you. "I assume that I'm the reason for this." You don't say anything.

"Y/N, I truly am sorry. I did not mean one word of what I said to you, nor was it true," Wednesday says, taking her hand to gently tilt your face upwards to meet her gaze. You feel your heart beginning to pound. "Forgive me."

You nod. You want to hug her; but you know that she isn't one for touch so you hold your hand awkwardly out for her to shake.

She raises an eyebrow at you with a bit of a smirk.

"I know just as well as you that you want a hug right now," she deadpans. With a sigh, she holds open her arms; she won't admit it but she knows that you do give some pretty good hugs.

#wednesday 2022 #wednesday addams #wednesday #wednesday x reader #wednsday addams #wednesday series #adams family #wednesday x you #angst with a happy ending #heavy angst #pt

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eating-plastic · 30 days ago

Text

Turn That Frown Upside Down: Jester!Maison Talo x Fem!Reader

Warning: Fluff, comfort, angst, swearing, reader has a shitty (ex) boyfriend and (ex) friend, unhealthy relationship, cheating, they get their comeuppance in the end, so that means brief mentions of blood, injuries, death at the end, Maison becomes obsessed with reader which leads to blossoming yandere-esque tendencies basically, I wanted to imply that reader kinda matches his freak tho, reader is fem because I kinda got bored with keeping it gender neutral, jester AU (you'll see what I mean), probably some grammatical errors

Word Count: 7874 words

A/N: Happy Halloween everyone (early, late, or on the dot. Depends on when you read this)! So I know this seems really random and out of nowhere but let me explain. Basically I reblogged fanart of Maison dressed up as a jester by @voqalber. I wrote in the tags that I had an idea for a Jester!Maison x reader fic, and they encouraged me to actually write that fic out so here it is! A big thank you to them for giving me the inspiration to write this and also being super sweet! Enjoy everyone 🎃!

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"Come one, come all, for the show of a lifetime! Witness thrills, chills, and laughs unlike ever before! Hurry hurry to the big top now! The show will begin in ten minutes!"

Your head shoots up to the speaker that was hung up near you. You can feel your hand slipping out of the grasp that was holding it as you listen to the announcement. Giddiness fills you as you turn your attention to the two other individuals you were attending the Uncanny Valley Halloween Carnival with.

"Hey guys, maybe we should go!" you chirp and motion towards the large tent in the center of the whole carnival.

"Why? it's probably just gonna be some lame magic act or clown show," scoffed your friend. You could practically hear her rolling her eyes at your childish joy for the main event of the night, though her face didn't convey it.

"Yeah, it sounds like a waste of time. I'd rather go on one of the rides. Seems like those are the only things worth doing around here," said your boyfriend, who didn't try to hide his dislike for your delight.

"Well, I-I don't know. I think it sounds fun...," your face drops and you can feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "I mean...maybe it's a little childish, but what's wrong with that? It might still be fun."

"Well then why don't you go by yourself?" your friend shoots back, sounding rather pushy. "We don't want to go, so why don't you? We'll catch up with you when you're done."

"Oh...um, okay," you mumble and watch as both your friend and boyfriend don't waste any more time abandoning you where you stand.

You let out a disheartened sigh and swallow a thick lump that was forming in your throat. You hate how much you feel like crying right now.

You don't know why you even bothered bringing them or even why you still had them in your life, honestly. Your relationship with your boyfriend felt like it was beyond salvaging at this point, it felt like he merely tolerated you now. Scratch that, it was more like barely tolerated you because of how often he would snap at you when you'd go on about your interests and say straight to your face if they were stupid and immature. Not even you directly tearing up from this would stop him as he would then just yell at you to "grow up." Sure he'd attempt to make it up to you afterward, but that still didn't stop it from hurting like hell though.

You knew you should just leave him, but there was still this foolish little voice in your head that said it would get better. You didn't know why; fear of loneliness perhaps? Like at least being in a relationship was better than being in none at all? Either way, that was why you wanted to invite him to come to the carnival with you, even though you knew he would hate it. It wasn't until you mentioned that you would just go with your friend that he seemed to oddly give in.

Speaking of your friend, you noticed how she seemed to be acting a bit colder towards you as well, or at least she was being less secretive about it. At least she tried to seem polite towards you and your likes despite it becoming more and more obvious that she truly couldn't care less. What good are someone's manners if they aren't genuine, you'd sometimes wonder. And yet, just like your boyfriend, you kept her around. At least she gave you the excuse that she's just been very stressed lately. Whether that was true or not, you didn't know, but hey at least it was something.

All you wanted was to just make them both feel better. To try and have fun with them. To see them laugh and smile after who knows how long. And what better place to do that than at a place that was known for smiles and laughter?

'Whatever,' you thought. 'They'll find something they enjoy. And I already found mine.'

You make your way to the large tent that was beckoning to you, following the small crowd that was also heading to see the show. As you pass through the opening flaps of the entrance, you can feel your breath being taken away as you stare in awe at how spacious the inside is; it honestly felt like it was bigger on the inside. You gaze up at the lights that decorate the roof of the tent, bathing everything in a bright, vibrant glow. You find a seat, making sure you are sitting somewhere that will help you see everything the show has to offer.

After some waiting, the lights dim, and a disembodied voice begins to speak.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. You have all made an excellent choice tonight. Under this big top, you will witness sights unlike ever before. Sights meant to amaze, sights meant to scare, but above all, you will witness sights meant to amuse. It is my greatest honor and privilege to welcome you all...to the greatest. Show. On Earth!"

The lights begin to flash bright colors, almost giving the illusion of orange, green, and purple fireworks, making the crowd roar with wonder and excitement. You yourself can feel your eyes widening as you stare at the beautiful display. At the center of the tent, a spotlight shines on the source of the voice. A tall man stands clad in a red and black jester uniform and a white mask with a little red diamond on the left cheek covers his face, almost making him look like a mannequin from afar. You're honestly impressed that his voice can even come out so loud and clear despite him wearing it.

It's an odd uniform for what you assume to be the ringmaster to wear. Then again, you can see that the other performers in the shadows were also adorned in similar jester costumes. Even some of the booth workers you had seen previously wore the same jovial outfits, albeit without the masks.

'Must just be a part of the attire,' you figure. No matter, you already knew you were going to enjoy the show.

--------------------

Every performance was phenomenal to you. The suspenseful acts had you on the edge of your seat, the scary acts would make your heart jolt in the best way, and the funny acts would have you bursting out in laughter unlike anything you had ever experienced before. You were so enthralled by the show that you didn't even notice the pair of eyes that would always drift to you at every chance.

The jesters always scanned the crowds, looking for the right person to lure to their private tents to consume. It could get quite competitive amongst them, often fighting over one person, before one would have to step down and find someone else. No matter what though, the ringmaster always had first pick.

Maison always got a better look of the crowd first. There in the center of the tent, arms spread and gazing out at everyone who had decided to see the show.

Tonight was no different as he panned his eyes from left to right, scanning every person in the audience. Just then, his eyes caught on to someone, but...not on someone he wanted to eat.

The first thing that he thought when he gazed at you from his place on the show floor was one word.

'Beautiful.'

He stared at you in your seat on the top row. Sitting so high up so that you could see everything. It made you look more angelic to him. But what really won the ringmaster over though, was your smile. It shined so bright that even in the dim lights of the crowd, it looked like the spotlight was on you. At least to Maison it was.

As the show continued, his eyes would constantly drift to you, taking in every one of your reactions like a sweet breath of fresh air. After each act, you would always clap with such enthusiasm, indicating your enjoyment. What he loved the most though, was how you would laugh at the funny acts. You wouldn't hide your mouth or try to stifle your laughter like most people. No, you let it out proudly, even grasping your stomach and rocking a bit at something really outrageous. Oh how he wished he could hear it clearly.

You didn't hide your joy, you flaunted it without a care in the world.

And Maison loved it.

After the show wrapped up and he gave his "end of the show" speech, he was antsy to find you again. He knew he'd have to meet with the other jesters to discuss who was going to be their potential meals, and he knew he'd have to say you just so he would ensure none of his fellow performers would lay a hand on you. After that, he didn't care about what the others decided or fought over. He excused himself quickly to look for you.

He needed to see you again. He needed to know your name, he needed to know what else brought you so much joy in your life, he needed to actually hear your laughter, and above all, he needed to know if he would ever see you here at the carnival again.

--------------------

When you exit the tent, you don't see your boyfriend or friend waiting for you like you thought. You honestly figured that those two grumps wouldn't find anything they found fun, so they would be stuck just waiting for you and being bored.

You wander around, looking from booth after booth, ride after ride trying to find them. You try not to get too distracted from how fun a game looks or how thrilling an attraction looks. At the time, you would've thought that it would've been better if you had gotten side tracked. Now though, you're happy you discovered what you did. If you didn't, you wouldn't have ended up having such a wonderful night.

As you round a corner to look down a dim alleyway, you spot the two figures you were looking for. Just as you are about to approach them and call their names, you almost trip over your own two feet and let out a soft choke at the sight.

Everything looks like it's happening in slow motion as if your brain still doesn't want to process what's going on right in front of your eyes. Your "friend" practically throwing herself onto your "boyfriend" as they begin to make out like two shameless teenagers at a drive in. Their hands roaming everywhere over and underneath clothes.

Tears sting your eyes as your cheeks heat up in rage and humiliation. Your feet feel like they are glued to the ground despite you wanting so desperately to just turn and run away. To just jump in your car and speed off to your apartment, where you would just hide away for the rest of your life. There is also a tiny voice in your head though, that wants you to run up and kill the both of them with anything you could find in that dingy alley.

Eventually, you finally feel your legs moving, but they choose to go with the former thought you had over the latter. You dart around, looking for the entrance of the carnival so you can get in your car and cry properly, but there are so many people and your tears feel like they're coming down hard now. You ultimately decide to just hide away in a dark corner devoid of all people. You curl up into a ball, hiding your head in your knees as you begin to sob.

Your brain is a melting pot of sorrow and complete hatred. Hatred at both your now ex friend and ex boyfriend for betraying you, hatred at them for never even really liking you in the first place, hatred at them for fucking around behind your back and hurting you. But above all, you feel hatred towards yourself. You hate yourself for being so trusting, and naive, and childish and pathetic, and stupid.

"Stupid stupid stupid," you cry, shaking your head. "Worthless, no good, w-waste of space."

You mutter out every single cruel thing you could think of calling yourself because you really do feel like those things were what you were.

"...Unlovable," you finally choke out as a last nail in the coffin to your self esteem and happiness. If even your own boyfriend and friend didn't love or care about you, then you truly must be unlovable.

"Oh dear, what's this?" a male voice questions.

Your head rockets up and quickly turns to the sound. Through your blurry vision, you can see a tall man standing before you with his face obscured by a white mask. You completely forget that what this man is wearing is simply the attire of the performers at the show you had seen earlier, and instead assume it to be a masked psycho ready to kill you. A dark voice in your head tells you that you would honestly be okay with that after everything that has happened to you.

Seeing the look of fear in your red eyes, the man raises his hands to absentmindedly run his fingers along the porcelain lips of the mask. He then perks up in realization.

"I suppose you would feel more comfortable if I removed this, wouldn't you," he says while motioning to the mask.

You feel yourself being weirdly drawn towards this man's voice; it sounds so smooth and comforting, familiar even, but where did you hear it? Either way, you nod slowly.

"I figured. One moment, please," he says, before raising one hand to hold the front of the mask, while the other moves to the back of his head to undo the straps.

Once his mask is undone, he carefully removes it from his face and attaches it to his belt so it would dangle off of his hip. He then smooths over and adjusts his gray hair.

"There. That's better, right?" he asks, his voice sounding more clear and soft. He kneels down to look at you with warm eyes that hold a hint of empathy in them. Now seeing him better, you realize why his voice sounded so familiar, even without it being loud and grandiose. How could you forget the ringmaster of the show that gave you a moment of happiness before it was destroyed?

You don't know why, but you didn't expect him to look like an older gentleman despite seeing his gray hair, not that you were complaining. He was very handsome, and here he was feeling concerned for you. You even notice the little red diamond painted on his cheek corresponding with the mark on his mask; you find that to be oddly cute. When your brain finally registers that he asked you another question, you once again nod.

He then reaches into one of his sleeves to pull out a red handkerchief and holds it out to you. Tentatively, you take the cloth and wipe your eyes with it, sniffling all the while.

"Tell me, my dear, what has made you so miserable?" he tilts his head to rest his cheek on the palm of his hand. When Maison wanted to find you after the show, he absolutely did not want to find you like this.

'Oh you poor thing,' he thinks. Mere minutes ago you were all smiles and laughter. Now here you sit, sobbing and saying the most horrible things about yourself. It was awful, sounding akin to nails on a chalkboard to the ringmaster. He has to know what upset you, and he has to know how he can fix it.

"W-well mister...um," you begin, waiting for him to give you his name. You feel like you honestly have nothing left to lose, making yourself even more pathetic to a complete stranger.

"Talo. Maison Talo," he answers.

"Well Mr. Talo, I was a complete idiot," you restart, bluntly.

"Idiot? Come now, dear, you're being too hard on yourself," his face drops at the harsh word you are using to describe yourself.

"But it's true. I'm a complete fucking idiot!" you cry. "I came here with two people that I thought loved me, but no! I should've known they never cared about me! I should've known they'd do this to me, I should've left him, and I should've stopped having her as a friend, I-I should've...I sh-should...."

Your voice dissolves into another round of sobbing, causing Maison to carefully pull you into his arms to hold you while you cry. He gently pets your hair while softly cooing to you like a mother would to comfort her child; though he only got bits and pieces of the whole story through your rant, he could understand just what happened. You don't know why you're allowing a stranger to hold you, but you figure that you just don't have anything to lose anymore; you just don't care anymore. Besides, his embrace was warm, his voice was nice, and it felt like everything about him was wrapping around you like a blanket.

Even when your second round of tears ceases, you don't want him to let you go. Luckily, he doesn't. Despite not hearing your sobs anymore, he still holds you close to his chest. Your eyes drift around to look at anything to keep your mind off of the people who hurt you. They eventually settle on a weird pin that you hadn't noticed on Maison's jester costume before: a blue house with a yellow roof.

'How odd,' you think, though you guess jesters are supposed to be a bit strange and random. 'I saw those on the booth workers too. Must just be another part of the weird attire.'

You sigh and finally pull away to slump onto the ground, hand smoothing over some patches of dried grass and orange leaves.

Just then, a pleasant smell catches your attention, making you look around due to how strong it is. Maison seems to smell it too and gets an idea.

"You know, maybe a little treat would cheer you up, hm? Something sweet," he throws out, before standing and holding his hands out for you. "Come on, I know good food tends to cheer me up."

You look from his hands to his face. Staring into those soft eyes of his, this time with a jovial spark mixed in. The combination of his gaze with a small grumble in your stomach tells you that maybe a bit of food is what you need. You give him a weak smile before taking his hands into your own, allowing yourself to be pulled up.

Now that you both are standing, Maison holds his arm out for you to loop it with your own. You look at him oddly for a moment before you decide to do just that.

'Why not?' you think.

You are then led back to the main part of the carnival, though your eyes do dart around to try and spot your ex friend and ex boyfriend in the crowd. What would you do if you saw them? Ignore them? Try to hide again? Actually go up and confront them? No, if you tried to confront them, then you knew you would try to kill them, even if it was in front of everyone.

"Anything piquing your interest, Miss um...oh dear, how rude of me. I never asked you your name," Maison realizes, turning to look down at you.

"Hm? Oh! It's Y/N. Y/N LN," you squeak out, getting too lost in your thoughts for your own good.

"Such a pretty name, it's quite fitting for you," he smiles. His comment and look made your cheeks heat up. "Tell me, Miss. Y/N, what sounds good to you right now?"

"Hm," you think, looking from booth to booth before you just shrug. "I don't know. What do you like?"

The question causes Maison to freeze, but only for a brief moment. His eyes begin to dart around a bit, before settling on the first food booth they landed on.

"Apple pie," he says. Despite how quick he said it, it still sounds genuine, and you don't think anything odd about it. To really sell it though, he adds on. "I've always been fond of that dessert, over others."

"That does sound good," you nod. "I think I want that."

"An excellent choice, my dear, a very excellent choice," he grins and leads you to the titular booth.

Both Maison and the booth worker share a brief interaction of recognition before ordering a nice slice of warm apple pie for you. Before you can even get the chance to pay for your dessert, the tall jester at your side takes the plate and leads you to a picnic table off to the side.

"Huh? Hey, wait! Don't you want me to pay for that?" you stutter out, confused.

"Please, it's my treat. You've had such a rough night, allow me to make it better," Maison says with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Why?" you ask, while you both take a seat at the table. "I mean...why do you care?"

"A carnival is no place for sorrow. It is a place where you leave all sadness at the door. If you cry at a place like this, then it truly must've been hurt by something awful. Something that just a simple joke can't fix," he explains, resting his elbows on the table and interlocking his fingers.

"Ah," you begin to think while breaking off a piece of apple pie with a plastic fork. "I see that joy is a big deal to you. Your costume makes sense now."

Maison let out a short, endearing chuckle at that, making a small smile break out on your face.

"Happiness is a very beautiful thing," he begins, a fond grin on his face. "A smile is worth more than the finest of art, and laughter is more melodic than the finest of symphonies. When I gaze up into that crowd during a show, it is the greatest pleasure of mine to see the looks of delight on the audience's faces. And when I saw you in the crowd tonight, it was perfect. Your smile was so bright, and when I watched you laugh it felt like I was admiring a flawless painting. "

If your face wasn't warm before, then it was on fire now. You think back to how you must've looked while watching the show, and a wave of self consciousness washes over you.

"Wow, uh...hehe. Well...I've never heard anyone tell me that before," you laugh nervously. You aren't used to this kind of attention, being doted on like this and getting complimented in such a way. Despite the fluttery sensation it formed in your heart, you can't help but feel suspicious of Maison's intentions thanks to your damaged self esteem after seeing you-know-what. Surely there was no way that this handsome, older gentleman sitting in front of you could actually see you as akin to a work of perfection.

"Really?' he asks, confusion and even a hint of sadness embedded in his voice.

"Ah...well, no," you admit. You just shake your head and wave your hands dismissively. "Oh well, whatever. It really doesn't matter. I really don't wanna think about it, this is all about having fun right?"

Maison opens his mouth to speak, but closes it and changes the direction of the conversation.

"You're right. But just know that what I said is true," he flashes you a reassuring smile before motioning to your pie. "Now, why don't you finish that before it gets cold."

He didn't have to tell you twice. You go back to eating your dessert, savoring the tastes of apples, cinnamon, and brown sugar. It's a pleasant silence until you suddenly perk up when you realize something.

"Hey, I just remembered. I made you laugh. I made a jester laugh. That gives me extra points, right?"

Maison laughs once more, just as endearing as it was previously. He was wrong when he saw you in the crowds previously that night. You weren't just a little delight. No, now that he has had the chance to properly sit down with you, he could see that you were the embodiment of complete sunshine.

--------------------

"Really? Huh, I didn't know that was how that trick was done. That's so cool," you say in awe.

"Isn't it? It is amazing the kind of illusions you can create using something so simple," Maison replies.

The two of you had been walking around the carnival, talking about different acts and tricks done during shows, your conversations being broken up by the occasional game.

"Oh! Maison! Can we try that one!" you suddenly pipe up, pointing to another game booth.

"Of course we can," he grins and ushers you up to the booth.

Like with getting your slice of pie, the ringmaster gives a greeting of familiarity to his fellow jester when you two get close enough. The game you had pointed to was a simple game where you would try to knock down stacked milk bottles.

The booth worker sets three baseballs on the counter, but before you could grab one, Maison stops you.

"Wait a moment," he says while taking the balls from you. You cock your head to the side in confusion until you watch in awe as the older gentleman juggles the three baseballs. You almost think he's trying to show off until he successfully stops without having any of the balls hit the ground, and hands them back to you. "A bit of good luck for you."

You take them from him with a cheerful "thank you" before turning your attention to the bottles.

First baseball, two bottles down.

Second baseball, three bottles down.

Only one baseball and one bottle left.

You take a deep breath through your nose as you carefully line up your shot. You squint one of your eyes and your tongue creeps past your lips in concentration. Maison had seen this look of focus on your face during some of the previous games; he found it to be absolutely adorable. You move your arm back and....

The last bottle clatters loudly to the floor!

You stare in shock for a brief moment, before a noise of triumph escapes you.

"Wahoo! I did it! I did it!" you cheer.

"All thanks to my little bit of good luck," Maison jokes, but still proudly applauds your work.

With a polite "here ya go," the booth worker hands you your prize: a cute ghost plushie with a red and black ribbon tied around its neck as a bow. You notice how it reminds you of Maison's jester uniform, and it makes you love it even more.

"Thank you!" you grin at the other jester before turning to walk with Maison some more until you suddenly stop.

A soft gasp leaves your lips as you stare at two familiar faces in the crowd ahead. Both your ex friend and ex boyfriend were looking around and calling your name as if they didn't just get done fucking in a dingy alley. The sight shatters the perfect bubble of fun Maison had constructed for you that night, and you squeeze the plushie in your arms for comfort like a child would after having a bad dream.

Maison quickly follows your line of sight and can feel the rage boiling within him at the sight of the two individuals who had broken your spirits. He quickly motions his fellow jester closer to him and mutters something in the booth worker's ear. They pull away and share a nod of understanding before the ringmaster wraps his hands around your shoulders and turns you both around so that you are standing in front of him and out of sight from the two most loathed people in both of your worlds.

"It's okay. Just keep walking," Maison whispers comfortingly into your ear.

After maneuvering deeper into the crowds for a bit, you both come out on the other side of the carnival by a ferris wheel.

"Thank you," you mumble, still holding your ghost plush close to your chest. You let out a disheartened sigh though, when you realize how late it is and that the fun would have to come to an end. "I should start thinking about heading home though. As much as I don't want to...I know I have to go back and gather them to head on out. I am their ride after all. Augh and then I'm gonna have to confront them about what I saw."

You can feel tears welling up in your eyes at the thought. Even though you hated them and would give anything to call them the most abhorrent shit you could come up with, hell you literally had the brief thought about killing them, you are filled to the brim with anxiety about the whole thing and knew you wouldn't be able to do any of those things despite how much you wanted to.

"Hey, it'll be okay, shhh," Maison coos and pulls you into his arms once more, although this time you notice how he seems to be holding you tighter than he did previously.

"Why can't they just go away? W-Why can't they just disappear?" you sob and bury your face into his chest.

"Shh shhh, I know I know," he says while petting your hair like before. He replays your questions in his head though, and has to keep from having a sinister smile spread across his lips at the thought.

''Why can't they just go away? Why can't they just disappear?' Oh, my darling, they will disappear before the night is done,' Maison thinks as he continues to console you.

"Why do you need them to ride back with you?" he asks. You pull away confused, and give him a look that says 'isn't it obvious?'"They betrayed you, hurt you, you want to cut them out of your life entirely, so why give them kindness and courtesy that they don't deserve?"

"I...I can't just do that," you say, but your stutter gives it away that you are considering it.

"Yes, you can. You can, and you will. If you do this, the fun will last just a little while longer. Besides, taking the bus won't kill them," Maison pushes. You mull it over in your head for a bit, before looking back up to him.

"Okay...I'll do it," you decide, nodding your head to confirm it to both him and yourself.

He carefully moves his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, before resting his palm against your cheek. He takes in just how beautiful you look under the bright, colorful lights of the ferris wheel, cementing your face in his mind.

Slowly, Maison's eyes travel from your face and then upwards and he looks at the large attraction you both were standing by. A small smile forms and he looks back to you.

"How about one last bit of fun for the night, hm?" he asks. You look behind you at the bright, spinning wheel and feel a smile form on your own lips as well.

"I'd like that very much," you beam, looking up at him.

With that, you both turn to go on the ride. Once your car comes to a halt and it's safe to board, Maison opens the door for you and motions for you to enter. You smile at that and take a seat on the bench inside. The older man enters after you and sits at your side.

There is a pause before the ride starts up and the car slowly begins to rise upwards. Without noticing, your hand grasps Maison's instinctually from the sudden movement.

"You're okay, look," he reassures and squeezes your hand. He then points out the large window in front of you. You look ahead and your eyes widen as you slowly begin to see more and more of the Uncanny Valley from above. Though it is dark, all of the lights from the street lamps, windows of buildings, and signs for different establishments illuminate the island perfectly.

"Woah," you breathe, completely mesmerized by the view. "You can see everything from up here."

"Indeed," Maison agrees, taking in his own beautiful sight of your wowed face. "Everyone seems to prefer seeing the view during the day. I suppose you can see everything clearer then. But I have always been fond of seeing lights when it's dark. And then there are the stars and the moon that make it all seem so right."

You stop your task of trying to spot your apartment complex from the ferris wheel as his words begin to sink in. You quickly noticed how he talks about the things he finds beautiful. He talks about them like they are fine art, mentioning every detail he loves about them. Happiness, the view.

You.

The gentle feeling of Maison's fingertips against your chin makes you turn to face him. If the view of the Uncanny Valley at night didn't take your breath away, then the realization of how close you two are does. All thoughts in your head seem to cease as you stare into his eyes and notice him carefully easing your face closer to his.

Would you have done the same thing under different circumstances, or even under the same circumstances? You have no idea. And yet you can't stop yourself from saying "yes" every time. As long as it was with Maison, then yes, you would've done what you did at the end of the night. He turned your night from horrible to perfect, resurrected your happiness after you thought your cheating ex boyfriend and ex friend killed it, made you actually feel cared for and loved for the first time in forever.

It felt right. You and him felt right.

It was gentle, his lips softly brushing over yours for a moment, savoring it before kissing you properly. It feels like he's treating you like you're made of porcelain like his mask, as if the most sudden movement would make you crack.

No, Maison will make sure you never shatter on his watch. As long as you are his, you will never feel neglected or unloved. This carnival would become your new home, his tent would become your new home. The whole fairgrounds would be your shelter from the cruelties that come with life. A place for him to construct a perfect bubble for you to forget your worries and grief, just like tonight.

Maybe he'd even make you a performer as well, if that was what you wanted. He has seen your interest in different acts during the show. With some practice, you could become a star, though you already are in his heart. Just imagine you in your jester costume and mask, captivating the audience, wowing them, scaring them, or making them laugh. Of course some of the others would probably protest that decision, hell they'd probably protest him loving you, but he was the ringmaster and he had the last say. If he said you're staying, then you're staying. And if he says you would perform, then you'd perform.

Slowly, Maison pulls away, getting a brief view of the look of content on your face. Your eyes flutter open and you raise a hand to touch your lips.

"You kissed me..." your voice comes out a little bit louder than a whisper as you utter the only thing your reeling mind can come up with.

"I did," the ringmaster says with a warm smile.

You can't think of anything else to say, so you just beam back at him and rest your head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around you and holds you closer as you both feel yourselves starting to descend back down to the ground.

Once the car stops, Maison steps out and holds the door open for you just like before. With his arm held out for you, he leads you through the carnival and towards the entrance. You expect to say your goodbyes there but to your surprise, he continues walking into the parking lot, slowing his pace and moving you in front of him so you can find your car.

Now standing by your vehicle, you turn back to look up at the jester that made your night so wonderful.

"I guess this is goodbye, huh?" you mumble while rubbing your arm.

"Goodbye for now," he corrects, holding your face in his hands and giving you one last smile for the night, which you return. "If you ever need a bit of cheering up again, you know where to find me. Until then however...how about a little something to remember me by?"

Suddenly, he pulls out a deck of playing cards from out of nowhere and fans them out to you.

"Pick a card, but do not tell me what it is," he says, speaking like he's performed this trick a thousand times.

You look at the cards carefully, eyes panning over each one, until you finally take the one that speaks to you. The card is the ace of diamonds.

"Good, now set it back in the deck," he continues, waiting for you to do as he says. With that, he reshuffles the cards, even closing his eyes to really show off to you. Once he's done, he stacks the deck nicely in his hands and takes the first card on the top. "Is this your card?"

Staring back at you is the same red diamond you had seen previously.

"Yes sir," you chirp, taking the card again." But I know the trick to this one."

"Oh? And what's that?" Maison questions, intrigued.

"The whole deck is the same card; they're all the ace of diamonds," you nod confidently.

"Really?" he turns the deck up so that the front of the cards is facing you. To your surprise, you can see that it really is a normal deck with the different suits and all.

"Woah," you breathe, amazement in your voice. "Must be great being so lucky."

"Of course it is. I wouldn't have been able to meet you if I wasn't," Maison then moves his hands around the deck of cards until they vanish into thin air.

"Wait, don't you want this card back?" you ask, all while you are trying to figure out where a whole deck of cards went.

"I said I was going to give you something to remember me by," he retorts. "Think of it as a good luck charm. Besides, I'm sure I have another one lying around somewhere."

You look from the card then back to the ringmaster, smiling.

"Thank you, Maison. Thank you for everything. You really made the night perfect."

"It is my pleasure, always," he gives you a little bow, before taking one of your hands into his own and raising it to his lip to plant a soft kiss to your knuckles. "Please be safe my dear and sleep well."

"Y-Yeah, of course, "you let out a shy chuckle, still not used to this level of affection, but you can certainly get there. "Goodnight to you too."

With that, Maison takes a step back, giving you the space to climb into your car. Once you start it up, you look out your window and give him a small wave, which he returns.

The tall jester stands there watching as your car gets farther and farther away until it disappears from view entirely.

--------------------

You can practically feel yourself dance walking down the hallway to your apartment, as the sounds of carnival music still play in your ears. After letting yourself in and locking the front door behind you, you set your ghost plushie down on a counter in your kitchen along with the card. You fidget with the little stubby arms of your soft specter, humming a tune you hear sometime tonight, your eyes drifting to the familiar colored ribbon around its neck.

You then turn your attention to the card, just flipping it between your fingers until you stop when you notice something that definitely was not there before. The front of the card is the same, it still shows the ace of diamonds, but on the back there is writing; a little message addressed to you.

To my dearest little diamond, Y/N,

Your beauty shall remain in my mind always. Your smile, your laugh, and you, sweet little you. Please don't be a stranger, my heart would never be able to take it.

With love,

Maison.

Underneath the sweet message, was a phone number.

You place your hand over your heart and grin widely from ear to ear. How could you possibly stay away from the ringmaster after tonight? The affection he gave you was addicting. He was addicting. And you were obsessed. You fell right into his trap, right where you wanted to be.

His plan was to win you over and he got it and so much more.

No, you definitely won't be a stranger at all.

--------------------

It was very late at night, and all light had been extinguished from the carnival, making you think that no one was around. However, if you went just a little bit deeper into the fairgrounds, you would notice the lights still on in the large tent at the center, and speaking could be heard from within.

"Ladies. Gentlemen. What a very special performance I have for you tonight," the loud voice came from none other than the ringmaster, wearing his signature mask as always, but the audience was not his usual audience. No, the audience was of his fellow jesters.

The voice caused two figures that were tied to the spinning wheels used for knife throwing to stir. Their heads pounded hard and they could both taste a hint of blood in their mouths.

"These two 'delightful' individuals decided to so graciously volunteer for this act. Isn't that just so 'polite' of them?" Maison continued on, bitter sarcasm heavy in his voice. The whole crowd began to jeer at the two partially conscious people.

Once they fully awaken, both your ex friend and ex boyfriend try to speak, to ask what the hell's going on, but are prohibited by the large clumps of cloth in their mouths.

"I must admit, I have never performed a live dissection act, but do you all, my lovely performers, not deserve something new? Something fresh?" he carried on, voice becoming even more grandiose. The crowd responded with a noise of uncertainty until their ringmaster continued. "I know what you are all thinking: isn't this all a waste of two perfectly good meals? Oh, I can assure you all, these two are much too rotten for consumption. No no no, these...things are only good for an act now."

The crowd only got more rowdy at that, but Maison raised his hands to calm them.

"Ah, I knew you all wouldn't want to take my word for it, so why don't we all get a little taste?" he moved to stand in front of a table that was covered with a black and white checkered cloth, making sure his fellow jester and the "performers" would be able to see what was underneath the sheet.

With one swift motion, the cloth was ripped from the table, revealing a row of sharp knives varying in size. If the two hostages weren't panicking already, then they definitely were now. Muffled cries of fear fill the show floor, and your ex friend even had tears streaming down her cheeks.

Maison picked up a steak knife and slowly crept towards your ex boyfriend, like a predator stalking its prey. Once he got close enough, he speaks quietly, so only the two unwilling volunteers could hear.

"It's funny," he began, dragging his red nails along the edge of the blade. "I think I would've done this, even if you hadn't hurt Y/N."

His eyes went wide at the sound of your name and at the jester in front of him bringing the blade closer to his face.

"No matter what, you never deserved her," Maison purrs, sinisterly. "She was mine the moment I laid eyes on her tonight. No matter what, you were never worthy of her, you stupid boy."

He let out a sickeningly playful click of his tongue before quickly turning to your ex friend.

"And you," he sneered. "What kind of friend are you?" Had you been nice, you wouldn't have been here. You would've been at home, sleeping in bed like an infant....Yet here you are."

He then looked between the two of them. Though they couldn't see his face, they could see his eyes through the holes in his mask, and oh, how they were seething with rage.

"I don't know which one of you is more rotten," Maison said, though his voice was much louder so his audience would hear him. Slowly he turned to look back at the male hostage, and a cruel grin formed under his mask. "But I think I'll try you, just because I hate you more."

Like a flash, he swiped the knife across your ex boyfriend's cheek, carving it so it looked like half of a bloody smile was on his face. The crowd roared with excitement at that, antsy to get their hands on some of the knives as well.

With one hand, Maison raised his mask up enough so that his mouth was exposed. Carefully, he dragged the bloodied knife across his tongue, getting the taste of the crimson that stained the blade. In an instant, his face contorted in disgust and he pulls his mask down.

"Bitter, not to my liking...but I'm sure some of you may enjoy it," he announced, watching as his consensus seemed to intrigue some of his fellow performers. He then motioned his knife to the female hostage before continuing. "As for her...well...I think I'll let you all find that out for yourselves. Ladies and gentlemen, I now invite you all to come. On. Down!"

With that, a number of jesters got up from their seats to line up and take a blade while others sat back to watch the carnage just as their ringmaster was doing.

Such a gruesome display was before him. Something that would've made him sick had the "volunteers" been different. But for you, he got nothing but a sick sense of catharsis watching it.

Maison smiled as he thought about you. He thought about what you had whimpered when you both found refuge at the ferris wheel.

"Why can't they go away? Why can't they just disappear?"

'Well, my little diamond,' he thought. 'They're gone now. They'll never hurt you again. No one will ever hurt you. I will make sure of that.'

#house hunted #house hunted game #house hunted visual novel #maison talo #maison talo x reader #x reader #rita writes

7 notes · View notes

hakkais-hoe · 3 years ago

Note

Good evening from my side of the world. Firstly, your writing style is amazing. Even with dark content, you still manage to make me crack up🤣🤣.I do hope you are having a great day 😊. Can I get an ask where the fem reader runs away from yandere bonten because a random girl that wants to be with bonten told her that she isn't good enough for them but she gives everything they've given her back like gifts money and si on. Please let them torture the lil random whoreo chick in the most gruesome way possible 😊. Angst to fluffy please 🙏🏾🥺. Just ignore my rambling if you can't make this.

All my writing is practically crack even if it’s supposed to be serious or angsty I'm so glad you like it tho 😭😭

So I’ve never written a poly relationship before so I’m gonna try my best not sure how it’ll turn out tbf. Also because its a poly relationship the guys will also be affectionate with one another mostly Ran, Sanzu n Mikey being affectionate with everyone. fuckin long af man like 4k words

age rating: 16+

warnings: DARK CONTENT, torture, swearing, threats, gun/knife use, pissing, pliers/ teeth pulling, GBH, murder, angst to fluff, our boys being simps, poly relationships.

▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️

‘Nothing Without You’

The night was supposed to be fun, they’d said it’d be a nice night out a group as they’d said, you were so so excited when you were getting ready but now, now all you wanted to do was curl up and die.

You hadn’t even got to the VIP room where the others were waiting for their darling, the phone in your hand vibrates and pings continuously with messages from the others yet all you can focus on is the three women in front of you, blocking you from reaching the stairs, their glares and hurtful words pierce your heart like a knife.

“What the fuck do any of them see in you? You’re just some gold-digging whore, using all of them for their money! You’re disgusting! You know full well that Rindou and Ran should still be with me and not to mention the fact that my girls would look so much better with Sanzu and Kkaucho! You don’t deserve them you're not even attractive!” The main woman's shouts and screams echo in your ears, proving to be louder than even the roar of the pounding music and the other patrons of Kokonoi’s new club’s loud shouts. You couldn't even think, your head goes blank as you turn and run straight back out the doors immediately taking the familiar 20 minuet walk back to the two floor penthouse that the nine of you share, a walk that is now an adrenalin filled run.

In a rush you throw open the heavy door of your beloved home, the comfort you usually feel upon entering becomes a sickening strangling feeling of being an imposter in your own home. You fast track to the bedroom as you rip though your belongings, separating the things you had bought with your won money from the things they had got for you, piling designer clothes, watches, jewellery, shoes, accessories; everything they’d bough you on the bed and floors. You stand above the piles in despair once you realise that about 85% of your belongings were not even bough by you, wretched sobs and cries screech from sore lungs as you rifle through even more belongings to find the money stash they you kept incase of an emergency, you throw that on the bed along with the rest of the things hoping it could cover all that they’ve given or spent on you.

Those girls were right....

How could you ever believe you were enough for them? You

who allowed you to become so high and mighty... when did they ever say they’d even keep you around...

Five years could be thrown out easily, you know it, you know just how easily they could throw you away

what would you do without them? you’d be alone

You turn and run, run until your lungs can go no more, until your legs give out, untill you can scream and cry no more, until your feet are read raw in the heels you’d stupidly worn hoping to impress them. Before you know it you’re stood under one of the high arched bridges, looking out over the rippling water of the deep stream. You know this place well, Mikey often enjoys taking silent strolls along the very path your knelt silently on, a sickening horsed laugh scratches through your dry throat, how could you have been so stupid...

Curling up under the bridge you cry and sob silently into the night, hoping not to attract any unwanted attention...

--------------------

“Where the fuck is she? Though she was supposed to be here an hour ago? Oi someone ring her.” Mochis loud booming voice calls over the others voices, the rest of the men fall silent before glancing at one another and pulling their phones out once again.

“She's not picking up... Oi Haru you still got that tracker on her phone? track it hurry up!’ Rindous voice carry's a chip of anger with its snide tone, Sanzu huffs but checks the app, his face quickly contorts into pure confusion he turns the phone around to show those close to him.

“It says she was here... but now she's back at home, she's been there for 30 minuets guess we better head back then n’ see whats up huh?” His voice is mildly pissed at thr though that you stood them up but he worlessly follows the others out, out to the loby where they’re promptly stopped by three women, the very same women that belittled and attacked you earlier, not that they knew that of course.

“Hi there! Not leaving already are you?? Ran, Rin its been a while my loves! How about you all stay and have a drink with us?” The ex of Ran and Rindou purrs while pawing at the sleeve of Rans favourite suit, the one that you chose for him, disgusted looks are thrown at the women as Ran throws her off and brushes his sleeve off as if to rid it of her germs.

“Who the fuck are you? Move the fuck outa the way before I put a bullet in ya head, bitch!” Rindou snarls down at the rude woman before shouldering her and her friends out of his way, the others follow on making sure to glare at the women and take notes of their faces.

Takeomi and Kakucho share glances with one another at the back of the group and call the bouncers over to make sure those women don't leave before they come back.

The cars are already waiting out front by the time they come out, a shouting Sanzu hangs out one of the windows calling for them to hurry the fuck up so he can ‘see his lovely lady’. The drive to the house is filled with silence or loud squabbling depending on which car.

Sanzu and Ran are the first to belt out of the car and run to the lift, Rindou isn't far behind, they even take up one lift to them selves forcing the rest of the men to cram into the second elevator when they finally get to the building. Koko grumbles and taps away at his phone for the whole time the elevator is traveling up to their floor. The second group reaches their floor later that the first and are greeted with shouts, cries and screams, Haru is throwing a tantrum in the living room with tears streaming down his face and a gun in his hand, Ran stands silently in the kitchen with a bottle of wine your abandoned phone clenched in his grip still dinging with messages from them, no emotions on his face and Rindou, Rin is turning the whole apartment upside down form top to bottom hoping to find you.

“Where is she?! Where the fuck is she?! I-I what... Rin! Rin stop i-” Sanzu wails now gripping Rins torn shirt in his hands, head buried in the raging mans chest, Takeomi walks wordlessly towards Ran and pulls out another bottle. Koko and Kakucho are both immediately on the phone issuing a search party to look for you, Mikey is the most silent but any one them can tell by one look that he is having a mental break down.

“I cant- no not without her... find her... Fucking find our y/n right now!” Mikey’s voice is emotionless but the threat is very much there, they know just as well as he does that he none of them can cope without her. Mochi has been awfully silent in the corner, the call that he was previously on is ended as he speaks.

“I know why she left. There's footage from the club of those women from earlier speaking to her, she ran out of the fucking club crying... our girl was crying because of some fuckin whores. Before someone goes apeshit on me n shit I've already had them seized.” Mochis voice is loud and filled with hatred at the though of someone upsetting their girl.

“We’ll deal with those fucking cunts later for now we have to find her... I don't give a fuck what you have to do we just have to get her back.” Mikey hisses back, his voice lower than ever, the though of losing you is pulling the dark impulses from the very back of his conscious.

Ran, Rindou, Sanzu and Kakucho are out of the door within seconds, missing the lift and taking the stairs instead they separate to run through the streets in search of you, frantic shrill shouts of your name fill the night, the other four decide to grab their bikes form the garage in hopes of finding you faster.

------------

Its cold... so very cold

why did you run out in so little clothing... all alone with no one to comfort you.

“Well hello pretty lady, what ya doin down there? c’mon why dont ya hang out with us, we wont make ya cry like this, might make ya cry for a different reason though baby.” Before you know it theres a group of sleezy men surrounding you, calling out to you and grabbing at your now shaking form.

Pure terror seeps into your veins... the dread of no one saving you

you ran away from them.. from your lovers

Ran... Rindou..

Haru... Takeomi ....

Mikey... Kaku..

Koko... mochi...

they’re not coming to save you this time...

“NOOO GET AWAY!!” You scream at the top of your lungs, hoping, praying thta someone hears you, anyone. The hope that they’re actually looking for you, your wails and tears start up again screams and shouts of their names bubble form your tear covered lips. The men in front of you glance at one another before laughing, drowning the sounds of your wails, one of them steps forward grabbing at your wrist to yank you into him.

“Now, now, now I’m about to make you regret that for fucking hard you piece of shit!” Comes a familiar voice, on you know ill follow through with his words wholeheartedly, Haruchiyo’s pink mullet stands out in the crowd as he shoves through.

“Haru... move out of my way I'm going to kill them all...” The soft sound of Mikeys voice makes your screams grow louder and louder as you realise they’ve come for you, they’re all here beating their way through the thugs. Sanzu, Ran and Rin have heir guns out in seconds, happily blowing holes in the bastards in front of them to get to you.

“We’re here doll its okay now!” Ran shouts over the crowd, a bright smile on his blood smothered face.

“Its okay love don’t panic.” Comes a soft voice form your left, a soft coat covered with a familiar smell invades your senses, Kokonoi crouches down to smother your body with his own, you cant see his face shows sheer relief at finding you again, another large hand lays on your head and the smell of Takeomi’s expensive cigars fill your nose.

“You’re okay kid, we’ve got you. Lets get ya home.” His smooth voice fills your ears. The sound of them and the sight of the others fighting in front of you has your tears flowing in hippieness, you never thought they’d actually come for you. With the stress dissipating and the relief growing your body decides its too much and you end up passing out in Koko’s arms.

-----Torture Par Below Skip if It Makes you Uncomfortable----

“You made such a massive fucking mistake even speaking to her, but the fucking nerves that you have to even suggest that she isn't enough for us is so fucking delusional! She's the fucking best thing for us I hope you’re ready to be fucking destroyed you useless bitches,” Rindou snaps while siting across from the bound, gagged and sobbing women while Sanzu sharpened knives and sorts out his “favourite kit” for this part.

“Nowww lets get down to business you fucking sluts! Ive got some gifts for you! Lets start with the teeth shall we? then ill take the tongues seen as you had the balls to speak about her with those disgusting mouths... Rannnnn pass me the pliers love!” Sanzus loud boisterous shouts echo around the abandoned building as he dances around scaring the girls shitless with his wide grin, Ran chuckles and pushes off the wall to had Sanzu his favourite red pliers, with a light peck on Sanzus head he hands them over.

“Have fun pinky... Ohhh dear me I think she's pissed herself how disgusting!” Rans gentle voice turns mocking at the sight of one of the terrified women pissing herself when Sanzu advances on her, gloves on and pliers at the ready.

“Rinny can you grab her head pleaseeee I cant hold it and pull at the same time!” Sanzu whines nd pouts at Rindou who immediately comes to pull the woman's mouth open so Sanzu can get a good grip on her teeth, he starts with the back, her screams and pleas garble together along with the spit and soon to be blood oozing down her throat. The first pull is said to be the worst but she screams like an animal trough out the process, chocking on her own tears a nd blood in the process.

He pulls all their teeth before moving on to nail crushing and pulling, he wedges the new apparatus under their nails before smacking down on the other end and flipping the nail agonisingly away from the soft skin of their fingers, over and over and over again until all their nails are hanging partially off.

“Have I told you about the new method I've been doing? its called Ling Chi or ‘death by a thousand cuts’ wanna tie that one to a pole for me Rannn? I wanna see her scream as I cut its of her off pleaseeee.” Sanzu coos at the taller Haitani who obliges without a word to the psychotic pinkett covered in blood standing before him.

Rindou holds one of the other girls mouths open so Snazu can slice off her tounge and let her bleed out everywhere, he tips her head back forcing her to choke on the blood spilling everywhere. Sanzu giggles is pure joy at her face of terror below him. The last girl bores him, she hardly even screamed when he was pulling her teeth it pissed him off to no end, enough for him to leave her till last after sticking a knife through her feet and hands.

He struts his pretty self over to where Ran stands next to the ties up woman, Sanzu grins straight at her as he pulls the gag down to hear her screams and pleas as he sharpens his knife against his belt once again.

“Please! Please don't do this I didn't mean it!! Please I just missed you Ran! Please you know me I just missed the two of you! Don't hurt me I wont do it again please please! I'm scared I-I'll ill do anything! pl-”

“Jesus shut the fuck up your voice is giving me a migraine! Haru just deal with that stupid bitch I wanna go see our baby!” Rindou shouts from the other side of the echoing room, Sanzu and Ran laugh at his out burst before Ran squeezes Harus shoulder, gestures to the woman and walks over to Rin.

“Hmmm okayyy! Lets get this shit on baby! ooo wait can you two deal with that boring bitch, set her on fire or summat or hand her out of the window by her feet with her neck slit! That sounds so funnnnn” Sanzu coos before starting on the bitch in front of him.

Screams and sobs fill the room along with the metallic and burning stench.

“You were fucking stupid to think we’d ever let her leave us...”

----Dark Content ends here-----

Sun streams through the open bedroom curtains, the room around you is mostly back to normal apart form the eight pairs of eyes staring back at you from different places in the room.

“So we should definitely talk about you running away sweets...”

“Yeh we were so fucking worried! Don't fuckin do that again”

“Mochi don't shout in here its too loud... we do need to talk though dollface.”

“Why did you run away?” Mikey voice silences the others, their expectant eyes turn to you waiting for an answer.

“I- well I- I ... some girls... no I just I didn't feel like I was enough... i was freaking out. I though you'd get sick of me and then you'd leave and id be all on my own then I started panicking because you all spend so much money on me and i feel like i take you for granted! I don't want to be a gold digger like they said I love you all so much and i didn't want to be a nuisance to you all... How could i stay when you should all be with someone better than me? I'm nothing compared to those pretty women, I'm just me” You rant and wail again, letting out all the feelings that you bottled up for god knows how long. You knew you'd felt insecure for a while but they’d always put those feelings to rest with a word or two but now you know you need more than that or you needed to leave. How could you know what to do without finally speaking to them. Finally looking up at the wide eyes staring down at you you can feel the loving gentle looks in their eyes, gentle little smiles aimed at you as they all perch or sit on the bed along with you.

Sanzus head flops into your lap, Takeomi hops on behind you to rest his chin on your head, Rindou and Ran lay their heads on your stomach, Koko and Mikey flop on either side to wrap their hands around them, Mochi and Kaku plonk themselves on the bed over the other side of the grabby men.

“Nope you’re not allowed to feel bad about what's ours, you’re our baby so if you feel bad about yourself wee feel bad about ourselves.” Sanzu whines into your lap, a light tantrum starting up again, he nips and bites at your legs in frustration.

“Did we do something to make you think we don't love you darling?” Kakuchos voice is gentle and warm along with the smile on his pretty face, he reaches for your hand to plant little kisses on it in a comforting gesture. Mikey whines and grumbles from on top of Ran reaching his hand out to play with your hair.

“Stop cryin sunshine, love you so much... pretty baby...” Mikey hums tiredly from the heap of bodies piled around you, Ran and Rindous arms tighten around you with a grumble from both of them that you cant hear for the muffle of their voices on you stomach.

“You can’t leave us anyway... breakups should be mutual and there's eight of us saying no here, you’re ours.” Ran purrs looking up at your tear stained face on Takeomis shoulder, Rindou hum in agreement with his brother nuzzling his face into your stomach more.

“B-but I don’t want to be that girl! I don’t want others to feel like I'm taking advantage of your love for me or for all of you to think that too! Its pure torture to think of being left alone...” You wail, tears bubbling over once again. Before anyone can speak the malicious chuckles creep from the three men laying on your stomach and thighs, Sanzu giggles as he looks up at you with a glint of something you can’t quite place in his eyes.

“Don’t worry sweets I can show you proper torture if you want I made sure to inflict the worst pain on those fucking whores who upset you!” Sanzu’s chipper voice pipes up before his head flops back down into your lap with another giggle. Your eyes blow wide at the news, you can’t even bring yourself to ask what he truly did but, if you really wanted to know all you would have to do is look in the bins where the three once beautiful suits sit absolutely soaked in blood, vomit and piss.

“Everything's fine now kid, you’re home safe n sound... no one will ever say shit to you again or ever come near you, Haru will get rid of em if they do, chick.” Takeomi grumbles with a flick of his lighter and a squeeze of your hip. Snazu starts up the grumbles of complaints at him lighting a cig in the house.

“Oi no Take put that shit out we don’t wanna smell of your cheep ass fuckin cigs.” Rindou snaps form your stomach without looking up, even goes as far as to blindly smack around at the lit cigarette. The others pipe up with a groan at the smell before he puts it out in the glass by the bed with a huff.

“You all smoke as well why ya gotta complain in here, I’m stresses just wanted a puff.” Takeomis usually bored tone is lightly whiney, the others laugh at his attitude and ignore him in favour of bothering you a bit more.

“Yeh but not in the house it’ll stink the whole place up and Koko hates the smell on his clothes.” Mochi mutters form the end of the bed, phone in his hand so he can send for a clean up crew for the mess Sanzu, Rin and Ran made in the abandoned building.

“Okay okay everyone get off lets go watch a film and order food I'm sick of being sad right now... wanna eat n’ chill with my lovely men.” You grumble shoving off al the heavy limpets keeping you anchored to the bed below them, whines and shouts of displeasure sound out from the men falling off the bed as you climb over them. Mochi holds a hand out for you at the other side of the bed, you take it with a smile and jump down off the high bed happily making your way into the kitchen once your down. Behind you the eight men follow on behind, gentle smiles on all of their faces at the sight of your happy walk into the kitchen.

“The fridge is empty darling, we’ll order takeout so pick a film.” Kakucho hums while he places a sleeping Mikey on the couch with a gentle stroke of his hair, Ran comes into the kitchen with Snazu hanging off of his back tiredly. The others start to take their seats and decide where your getting food from.

“Come on doll lets sit down and have a cuddle yeh? You can sit on my knee.” Ran hums taking you arm to pull you into the living room. Shouts and disagreement sounds from the living room at you sitting on Rans lap.

“He had you last night get your arse over here and sit on mine babe!” Comes Kokonois unusually loud voice, he pats his lap with a grin, Kakucho and Rindou on either side of him grin at you before opening their arms. A loving smile comes onto your face as you throw yourself at them with open arms. Koko and Kaku smother you in butterfly kisses as soon as your settled.

“We love you so much...”

“Yeh... I love you little shits so much too... what would I do without you.”

▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️▪️▫️

Not sure bout this one 😭

Taglist: @loonashadow @bontensbabygirl @roppongiperfume @soushswag @honeybachira @reiners-milkbiddies @sunahyejin @haitink @wakasagurl

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scuttle-buttle · 3 years ago

Text

WC: 2261

Rated: M

Tags: angst, medical issues, pregnancy complications, hurt/comfort, anxiety, brief mentions of medical procedures but no gore, nothing is technically sad, fluff, papa laszloooo

A/N: honestly tho I am sorry. also i maybe cried a little writing this, which is a first. also also everybody is fine in this it's just emotional

Blame @hardlyinteresting

🧠

"Three weeks…. Three weeks little bean…" you mumble as you rub your protruding stomach after a particularly harsh kick to your ribs. The chair was a sweet relief to your ankles after a long day at work and doing some light chores around the house all afternoon. You had three weeks until you hit 39 weeks into your pregnancy. As much as you were anxious you were ready. Ready to not feel like a bloated whale. Ready to not have sore feet. But most of all, ready to hold your baby girl.

Laszlo had been trying to convince you to take it easy and start maternity leave early, but you resisted. The last thing you were about to do is nothing. Most first pregnancies went late anyway, you'd argued, so you didn't worry about it yet. I’m pregnant, not dying - give me another week, you'd told him.

What you didn't tell him was about the headaches. Or how sore your legs were. Or how absolutely exhausted you'd been feeling the last couple weeks. Whenever he would ask if you were alright or offer a foot rub you would just brush it off as third trimester woes. You didn't want to worry him.

You were sat in an armchair in the parlor, feet propped up, damp rag over your eyes. The droning from the tv had your nerves on edge. All you wanted to do was take some tylenol and feel better, but you had been knocking back more than was probably safe the last few days so you went without.

A sudden pain shoots through you causing the rag to fall onto your chest. “Ohh...ow? OW!” You sit up straighter as the ache persists; the dull throbbing in your upper abdomen unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. Were you in labor early? Did she just kick in a bad spot? No no - surely the pain would’ve died down by now had that been the case. Unless? Can babies kick so hard they rupture something? Did my kid just bust my liver? Your thoughts run rampant as you wait, in vain, for the pain to go away. The pricking behind your eyes and in your temples only made it more hellish. Pressing your palm to the spot does nothing, nor do the breathing exercises you had been taught.

When five minutes have passed by without relief you make the choice to call out for your husband. “Laz?” No response. “Laszlo!” A beat passes; nothing. You swallow through your building nausea.

“I swear to fucking-” you growl as you snatch your phone from the end table to your left. You use all your concentration to dial his number.

It rings four times.

“Bärchen, why are you call-”

You don’t let him finish. “Something’s wrong.”

______

Head thrown back into the flat, starchy hospital pillow you groan in frustration. “permanent bedrest?” You scrub the hand not clutching your belly down your face.

The emergency room Obstetrician gives you a pitying look. “I’m afraid so - your blood pressure is high and we want to keep it under control to prevent outcomes such as pre-eclampsia. I recommend doing as little as absolutely possible; get rid of as many stressors as you can.” He flips through your chart. “You said you’ve been having headaches and fatigue for nearly two weeks? Why didn’t you come in sooner?”

Huffing, you tell him “I thought it was just part of the third trimester. Everyone always complains about how bad it is.” He hums in response.

“Well. I’m going to go take a final look at your labs, make sure everything else is fine before we discharge you. I’ll send in my Nurse Practitioner to give you the run down and anything else you’ll need to know. And should anything else like this happen again - get in here immediately.” He pats you awkwardly on the hand before nodding at Laszlo and leaving the room.

Laszlo.

Sparing a glance from the corner of your eye you see him looking towards his lap, his weaker hand cradled in the other. He’d been quiet since you admitted when your symptoms had first begun. Every single time he’d asked you how you were feeling you had lied to him. Granted, you didn’t technically know you were lying. But it makes little difference when you’re sitting in the ER. He had every reason to be upset.

“Laszlo honey,” you reach over to him. Slowly he takes your proferred hand and stands, coming to stop beside the bulky bed frame. His thumb caresses your wrist.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve examined the signs, kept a better eye on you.”

“Laz-”

“-No-”

“-I didn’t want to worry you, okay?-” Your voice breaks as you defend yourself.

“-I could’ve done something, maybe- I don't know!” His slightly raised voice startles you quiet. The pain in his eyes only makes you feel guiltier. He licks his lips. “I took the liberty of calling your mother. She will be here tomorrow afternoon and will be staying in the guest room as long as we need her.”

Now you look away, indignant. “I don’t need to be watched like I’m a child.” The tears behind your eyelids rush in; a lone drop trailing down your cheek as the embarrassment settles within your gut. You knew that at some point it was likely you would need her here. However you imagined it to be under happier circumstances. A deep inhale fails to calm your sobs. “I just- I don’t want to be a burden with all this.” Your tears flow freely now.

“My dear you could never be.” Laszlo sits on the edge of the bed. He rests his right palm above the swell of your child, his left cupping along the curve of your jaw. He tilts you to face him. “But the health of you and our girl is what is most crucial now. Let us take care of you. Please.”

A gentle kick underneath his palm from your daughter is answer enough.

__________

Two weeks. 14 days.

Lying in bed, sitting in the same spot for hours on end was actually going to be the death of you. You were sure of it.

Your mother truly has been a huge help since arriving. Laszlo wanted to start his paternity leave, but you insisted that he stay until you were closer to your due date. Which couldn’t come fast enough, you might add. Both Laszlo and your mother were prone to pestering you about some things, but at other times if you truly wanted to be alone they gave you your space. Now was one of those times. Laptop to your side, you watch another episode of Grey’s Anatomy. A knock sounds. You turn to see your husband standing in the doorway, the blood pressure monitor in arm.

He gives you a bright smile. “How are you two on this fine afternoon?”

“Cut it with the attitude, bucko. Let’s get this over with.” The words, while harsh, had little bite to them. His brow raises but he says nothing. You honestly felt bad that you’d been in a pretty foul mood since being discharged. On more than one occasion you’d said as much to Laszlo and your mother - they didn’t deserve your ire. Thankfully they understood why you were so frustrated.

You held the strap in place as he secured the velcro and started the machine. Buzzing filled the overall quiet room. Closed eyes you wait. Some days your results were higher than others. Unless you became higher than a certain threshold the doctor said you were safe to be home. At the sound of a beep Laszlo unhooks the cuff, reporting that your levels are within the acceptable range. When he goes to leave you alone you clutch at his sleeve. He waits as you peer up at him. “Stay?”

He never could say no to you.

______

Little bean’s ruthless treatment of your bladder had you up for the second time that night. You waddled to the bathroom to attend to your business and wash your hands. Glancing at the circles under your eyes in the mirror you sigh. “I love you baby bean but you’re giving me a run for my money here, kid,” you whisper as you rub your stomach. Three days, you remind yourself.

The floor creaks as you shuffle back to bed. Suddenly, an odd warm trickling sensation travels down your legs. “What the fuck?” Looking down around your bulging bump you find yourself standing in a small puddle, the glint of the bathroom night light reflecting off the surface. “Shit okay…ah Laszlo? Hey, I need you to wake up.”

He grumbles. With a roll of your eyes you walk over and shake him awake. “Hey- what-” he sits up instantly and blinks at you. “Is everything alright?”

“My water broke.”

He hops into action right away. Moving you to sit on the bed, he pulls out his cell phone to call your doctor. As he talks you watch him move around the room, the phone wedged between his ear and shoulder, as he collects your hospital supplies. You feel useless as you sit. Yet, you know that your priority needs to be keeping yourself calm and that moving around could exacerbate your condition.

He hangs up. Coming to stand in front of you he presses a kiss to your forehead; “I’ll go wake your mother. Don’t move, Liebling.”

As you sit you blow out a long breath. You look down at your bump. “Guess you decided you’re ready to go, huh kid?” The tip of your fingers brush along the side of your stomach. “I know we’re ready for you too. We’re going to love you so much, and your daddy? He’s gonna be the best, you’ll see.” Placing your palms flat she nudges you from within.

_____

The doctors decided that a c-section was the safest route. You both knew it was a possibility, but you had hoped that after weeks of bedrest that your blood pressure would balance out enough for a natural delivery. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. They monitored you for an hour before your contractions began, officially confirming you were in fact in active labor and dilating. After the fourth hour your blood pressure began to spike again. That’s when they decided to prep you for the procedure.

The operation went smoothly. The atmosphere of the surgical suite was tense with your nerves, but Laszlo’s calming words and his hand squeezing yours kept the anxiety from spilling over. You even found it in you to poke fun at how ridiculous he looked in the puffy blue elastic hair cap he wore.

When the first cries rang out you nearly tried to hop off the table to see your baby. The doctors worked quickly to ensure you were in proper condition while the infant was cleaned.

“Dad? Would you like to come and cut the cord?” one of the nurses calls out.

Laszlo looks back at them before turning to face you. He searches your eyes for a moment; “go,” you nod with a smile. You watch as he did what the nurses instructed as best you could, her soft wails echoing in the small room. He returns to you right after while they finish wrapping her up in a blanket.

“She’s beautiful my dear,” your professor confesses. He leans to give you a lingering kiss. “I’m so unbelievably proud of you.”

“I love you so much.”

“As I love you.”

The doctor interrupts your moment. “Would you like to hold your baby girl?” The question is directed at you, but you look over to your husband. The man you love more than life itself. He stares at the little bundle as if she’s the most incredible sight he’s ever laid eyes on. He can’t take his gaze off her. His irises sparkle with unshed tears as he looks on with wonder.

“Laz?” Finally he breaks away. “Hold your little girl - she’s been waiting to meet her Papa.”

Carefully the doctor shifts his hold on the babe to slide her into Laszlo’s waiting arm. He swallows as he pulls her to his chest. Something caught between a sob and a laugh leaves him. You blink through your own tears at the sight of your husband and daughter, a sight so far beyond perfect there could be no words. Laszlo held her with such delicacy, such reverence. It was as if any moment she could slip away as though a dream.

“Hello there my little dove, I’ve been waiting a very long time to meet you.” He doesn’t bother to wipe away the streams that fall from his eyes. “I’m your Papa and I-” he sniffs, looking towards the ceiling and blinking rapidly to clear his eyes. You rest your hand on his bicep. “I love you so very much. I would give you the world if I could. Your grandfather didn’t...he was not....” he pauses to gather himself. “To me you are the greatest gift I could ever receive. I will be the best father I can for you. A father worthy of you. Mein Gott, Ich liebe dich my darling dove.”

He continued to hold her in his arms until it was time to take you into the recovery room. When he had asked if you wanted her you simply shook your head. You would get your chance, you had a lifetime to do so. But your Laszlo needed this. He needed his little dove.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @that-one-fandom-kid @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch @creme-bruhlee @andy-rocks @nonamec0s @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @uncomfortablebagel @rachelicouss @wisia02

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minahoeshi · 3 years ago

Text

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

#ushijima x reader #ushijima scenarios #ushijima angst #ushijima fanfic #ushijima reader insert #ushijima x y/n #ushijima wakatoshi

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kirencer · 3 years ago

Note

Since I’m evil I’m sending angst!

“If you want to leave then leave! I’m not going to stop you!”

(i cried while writing this because i’m a lil BABY. also ty for the request,,, it’s the only one i’ve gotten 🥲)

CW: mentions of divorce, definitely Spencer’s past abandonment issues flaring up, relationship issues, happy ending 🥰

wc: 951

It’s freezing when I walk towards the living room. It’s felt like this for weeks. Spencer doesn’t speak to me as often.

He’s effectively given me the cold shoulder, and I’m freezing.

So much that I need warmth or a shoulder that won’t be barred away like a treat just out of reach. If I can’t get that from Spencer, then I’ll take a break.

Penelope would love a sleepover.

I stand by the couch, a bag slung over my shoulder, and my hand tracing over a dent on the coffee table.

Spencer had missed work that day for me. We were cuddling on the couch, kissing, when he got a work call. The sound scared me so bad I fell back and got a concussion. Spencer told his boss that he’d quit before he ever left me at home hurt, and then took me to the hospital to make sure I was fine.

Heat bubbles by my eyes as I feel the tears melt through the stoic expression I had tried to have. They slide down my face soundlessly. Any sobs I could have produced were silenced by the lump in my throat.

What had happened to us?

There used to be so much love and laughter. Spencer never used to fail at making me happy. He would try everyday to make me fall in love with him again and I would try the same. We would both succeed, day after day, week after week.

When did he stop trying? Because I know that I haven’t yet given up. When did Spencer decide that paperwork was softer than my embrace and when did he start to ice me out?

He’d never made me feel so cold before. His love always warmed me up like an eternal flame. Every time we locked eyes I would be doused in gasoline and set aflame with the most wondrous kinds of love.

It couldn’t be the end of the honeymoon phase, Spencer had told me before we even started dating that he believed every day would be a honeymoon with the right person.

But who would honeymoon in Antarctica?

Am I not the right person?

I hear Spencer's footsteps behind me and I wipe away my tears with my palms, sniffing deeply as I stand up.

Spencers seen me cry plenty of times, he’ll know that’s what I’ve been doing.

Good.

In a sick way I want him to see how much he’s hurt me.

“I’m going to Pen’s for a couple days,” I say. I’m surprised I could even talk.

“You’re running away?” Spencer’s voice breaks on the the last syllable, and I think it breaks with my heart.

I struggle with what to say. I’m not running away but, If i’m being honest, I am. I’m running away because I don’t know what else to do. “Why not? You haven’t spoken to me in weeks!”

“If you want to leave then leave! I’m not going to stop you!” Spencer jolts back. I can't stop the way the tears spring back again.

I was getting tired of the cold but this, this is far worse. It’s the warmth and the heat of our love turned to the max and I’m melting under the burn of it.

“You think I want to leave? I’d give anything to stay, Spencer. What I want is you to be home at night. What I want is to know if you even love me anymore … if you even want me anymore.”

Spencer opens his mouth and closes it again. His face crumples like the paper plates I had eaten on all those days he wasn’t home and I didn’t feel like cooking because of it.

“Men are nearly twice as likely to develop a major depression after divorce,” Spencer stares at his mixed matched socks and I don’t know what to say to him. A tear stains his lighter sock into a dark gray. His voice is small and he sounds like he hasn’t slept well lately, “Please don’t leave me.”

I walk towards him and I wrap my arms around him. He buries his head into my neck and I can feel tears drip against my skin, and a soft hiccup as Spencer grips my shirt as if I’ll disappear if he lets go.

“I don’t know what to do, Spencer.”

“Stay.” He asks, more than says. “I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt you and I’ve made you want to leave, I promise I’ll be here more.”

“I don’t want promises, Spence, I want you.” Spencer's tears cool down the fire and his hold keeps me from freezing.

“You have me. You always will,” Spencer presses a kiss to my shoulder, “Even though we’re not married, a uh, ‘divorce’ would kill me. I’ve lost a lot in my life, but for you to leave would be it. I — I know it’s wrong to tell you this because then if you ever want to leave you feel like you have to stay but you deserve to know I care.”

My hand rubs against his back. Spencer is breathing softer, and so am I. My hastily made bag is dropped to the floor, forgotten in all but the fact that it’s on my toes.

“I love you. Even if you leave now, I’ll still love you.”

“Good thing I’m not leaving. I don’t want to, and you lied when you said you wouldn’t stop me so…” I pull away a bit to look at his face. He’s a bit tear stained, and his eyes are rimmed with red, but he’s here and he wants me.

I press my salty lips to his. The kiss is melting.

It’s warm.

(the event isn’t over yet for a while!! be sure to follow and send in a request. maybe even send some feedback!! it’s a lil late tho so i won’t get to any until tomorrow :]]])

(ps. would anyone want me to start a taglist? i might but i’m not sure)

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #kiram follower celebration #request #angst with a happy ending #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds x reader #spencer x you #spencer reid x you #reid x reader

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change-the-rules · 3 years ago

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I Highkey have Not been able to stop thinking about this post ever since i first saw it and in a bid to not undertake writing a wholeass fic for it here are some of said Thoughts™

so trans!Alex, young, pre-transition, over 18 but probably started college younger so olivia doesn't realize how young since they're in the same year (canon puts both cabot and benson as born in '68, but SMarch was born in '74 so cabot could be a yearish younger here, Whistler is probably sameish age as tori anderson who was born in '88 so for my purposes im gunna say oliva is 20 when)

her and alex have a one night stand

alex is kind of messed up about it bc gender feelings, p soon after ends up disappearing, takes time off from school, transitions, transfers to new school where no one knows her (we know she went to harvard law school but idr where she went to undergrad not that it matters let's say they met at a party)

and then olivia realizes she's pregnant, she already knows that she wants to be a detective but still hasn't begun to heal from the trauma of her conception or her mother's abuse, so she finds out she's pregnant and freaks out but feels like she can't have an abortion bc if her mom still had her how could she not have the kid just bc she wasn't ready, couldn't handle it, basically girl is still fucked up

so she doesn't attempt to locate alex, has the kid on the dl, gives it up for adoption and never looks back

fastfoward to when olivia meets alexandra cabot, she doesn't recognize her even tho she feels familiar in a way olivia can't put her finger on and alex isn't about to out herself even if she still thinks about that night often

they def dont figure it out til post alex gets back from witsec

whistler meanwhile is raised by parents who never tell her she's adopted, noah is their biological kid and the two of them look So Similar, choose your own angst as to whether she gets kicked out in hs (idk why i'm just so attached to her parents disowned her....it's terrible but it feels right) and it comes out then and noah is all like it doesn't matter You Are My Sister, or if she only finds out after noah dies and like he kept their parents from doing anything drastic bc he was the golden child but when he dies Then they disown her and it comes out so she loses literally everything all at once idky Kate brings out the angst in me

in canon alex ends up volunteering in prosecuting sex crimes in war torn areas and also eventually quits practicing law when an abusive husband gets acquitted and murders his wife in retaliation at which point she joins a secret underground organization that helps battered women disappear either of which I feel like can have her paths cross with the fbi

and idk this is where plot issues come in and ive stopped trying to think further bc again avoiding writing A Fic but like maybe alex gets setup by a navy officer or agent or someone high profile whose wife she helped smuggle away, so alex's blood gets found at a crime scene and when they run it Surprise Kate comes up in the system (idk how dna traces work rotflmao but if shes got dia security clearance she's probably in the system yea?) idk

maybe when benson and cabot meet whistler they just seem To Know but surely it can't be blah blah blah lmao again idk but eventually adult!kate gets a family that loves her and it's all very sweet

she really is like The perfect cabenson kid okay i just can't Can Not this lives rent free in my brain i also rly don't know why my brain went this route instead of like cute fluffy cabenson raises her except im lowkey obsessed with jamming plausible scenarios into canon and also kate for whatever reason rly does bring out my angst whore side

#kate whistler #long post #cabenson #it's been WEEKS and it's p rude of my brain to refuse to write it but also not cease thinking about it #ramblings #minecraft

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shoutogepi · 4 years ago

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Best Friends

┌───────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ─────────┐

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐢 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 2.7k

[ ☁︎ ] angst

𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 : unrequited feelings :’( really brief mention of sex (not nsfw tho!) & also (underage?????) alcohol consumption!

𝐛𝐢𝐨 : On your last night in the dorms, Shouto realizes he has feelings for you, his best friend.

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 : idk honestly i started writing this last night and was gonna abandon it... but then val tagged me in an angst ficrec and i was like ok well! this is a sign to post bc then i will have at least one sho angst on my masterlist lolll oops :o

└───────── ⋆⋅✧⋅⋆ ─────────┘

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

🅃onight was the last night in the dorms. Three long years had come and went, and now everyone’s belongings were cleaned out and secured away with cardboard and tape, leaving an empty wing that was currently filled with bodies, neon lights, and red solo cups. Music was pounding through the hallways, reaching every room and allowing no one total escape from the celebration.

You had been occupying the dance floor with Mina and Tsuyu for the last half hour, and now that you had sweat off the latest drink of the night, it was time for you to set off and find your more moderate-tempered companion. The pink-skinned girl wiggled her eyebrows at you when you alerted them of where you were heading off to, Tsuyu planting a love tap on your ass as you made your way from the swarm of people. The frog girl wasn’t usually so loose, but the alcohol that pumped through everyone’s veins had left only a select few unaffected. Tsu, just like you, was one of the ones that was happily allowing the weight of daily student life slip from her shoulders.

There were plenties of warm bodies swaying with the heavy bass rattling the hallways, shadows of couples and interested singles leaning against the walls, whispers and rowdy laughs echoing as the entire graduating class of UA partied the night away. Skimming by the line outside the bathroom, your feet found their way toward the end of the hall easily enough, taking the path you had so many times before.

A creak sounded as you pushed the cracked door open, the sight of the open shoji screen allowing moonlight to stream onto the bamboo mat floor which crunched quietly underneath your tentative steps.

“Shouto?” you whispered his name, eyes taking in the silhouettes of the packed boxes against the walls before you turned and saw a shadow sitting on the mattress beside the door.

-ˋˏ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

Your voice jolted Shouto from his wandering thoughts, his attention turning to you right away. He seemed surprised to see you standing there, and he peered up at you from his slightly hunched position on the couch. He acknowledged you with your name, his voice low and steady. By the sound of it, you wondered briefly if he had even had a drop to drink tonight.

Blinking at him a few times, you tried to adjust your eyes to the contrast between the bright moonlight and dark shadows. When you could finally see the planes of his handsome, somber face, you spoke, trying your best not to slur. “What are you doing over here all by yourself?”

He paused, lagging for a second before the corners of his mouth curled and his eyes crinkled at the sight of you. “Just thinking,” he answered, examining you in that intrigued way he always did. After a moment he must have reached the conclusion that you were some level of smashed, for he patted the empty space next to him on the bed with a smirk and said, “Come sit with me.”

For a moment you wondered why he was alone, but then your brain caught up with you, and you realized that his other friends were probably busy with their own issues or endeavors. Ever since Midoriya finally grew a pair and asked Uraraka out, the two had been going at it like rabbits every spare second they had. And you could only imagine how busy Iida was as class rep, trying to keep the party at least a little bit under control. Momo was definitely helping him, and you had seen Bakugou begrudgingly holding Kaminari up with Kirishima under his other arm when you’d passed by them in the hall… Leaving only you to come and rouse the half and half hero from his solitude.

“Well that’s not allowed tonight!” You exclaimed, fist slapping against the side of your thigh. You would’ve used both hands for emphasis had the other not been occupied with a half-full plastic cup. Your legs felt like jello as you moved toward him, his cool hand wrapping around your arm to offer his support and steer you into the spot beside him. You almost fell but he held you up with the one arm, chuckling as your butt finally met the safety of the duvet.

“Thinking’s forbidden?” he laughed at your insistence, the sound rich and deep as his hand lingered on your wrist.

“Yes,” you nodded vehemently, pulling your hand away from his to cradle your precious cup and shooting him a playful, sideways glare. “Brain turned off for the night. It’s in the fine print of the party rules, of course.”

Shouto gave you a funny look, eying you from the side. He repositioned himself, sitting upright and closing his eyes. It was hard for him to remain stoic when the quiet sound of your amused giggles tickled his ears, but he managed a nod before his eyes settled on you again. “Okay, I think it’s off.”

Conversation was always natural between the two of you, he never had to struggle to keep it flowing. And he liked talking with you, being in your presence. Which was the only reason why he was still entertaining this ridiculous charade.

“How do you feel?” you inquired, a goofy grin on your lips.

There was a twinkle in your eyes as you teased him, but Shouto held no qualms with your playfulness. Most people were still afraid to joke with him, believing that he was too obtuse to understand humor. Sure, he had struggled with the transition to school life in the beginning of their first year, but after you had transferred into their class second year, he found himself opening up even more than he already had.

“I feel… the same.” The grin on his lips remained, his eyes settled on your drunken form. His gaze flicked to your smile, shining in the moonlight and making something twinge in his stomach. He cleared his throat, pushing down the feeling that haunted him every time he looked at you too long. “This doesn’t really work, does it?”

You pretended to entertain the thought for a moment, eyes rolling as you considered it animatedly before your lips broke into a beautiful smile again. “No,” you giggled, shoulders shrugging in your cute, drunken fit. “But it’s easier when you’re not sober!”

He turned, faux surprise hung from his brow. “You’re drunk?” Sarcasm dripped from his voice and splashed onto you where his jean-clad thigh brushed against yours.

“Shut up!” You punched at his shoulder and pushed him away from you, shuffling yourself in the process.

Your hair swished with the movement and suddenly the soft, sweet scent of you was crashing over him. He breathed it in shamelessly, allowing himself to indulge in the warm feeling that suddenly emanated through his chest.

“You could try it, if you wanted. It really does help,” you offered your cup to him, shrugging.

Shouto eyed the red plastic cup, hesitant. He really wasn’t one to drink, but then again, neither were you. Tonight was about celebrating your graduation from UA, opening the next chapter of your lives. The thing was, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to move on when it meant leaving all his relationships either behind him or pushed to the side. Okay, maybe he was kidding himself… there was only one person he would miss having in his daily life, and that person was sitting right beside him— the same one who was the source of his conflicted feelings.

“Or not!” your hand retreated and you took a little sip, the sweet jungle juice washing down your throat easily. “No pressure. It’s your choice, Sho.”

He nearly groaned at the nickname, the one he only allowed you to call him. Grabbing the cup from you, his calloused fingers brushed over your soft knuckles. He smirked at the excitement that surfaced in your gaze as he brought the lip of the cup to his mouth, emptying the contents in one long go. The liquid was sickly sweet, masking the bitter poison that entered his body alongside it.

“That was… truly disgusting.”

“Whaaat?” You balked, grabbing for the cup in dismay. He kept it out of reach, even though it was empty, setting it on the far table instead. “It’s good, I dunno what you’re on. It’s really, really good. Heheh, just like me…”

Shouto blushed at the innocent innuendo, looking at you as you closed your eyes and let out a noise between a sigh and a laugh. He gulped, realizing that the alcohol was already taking effect and he was beginning to slip under its influence. Your method of “turning your brain off” was proving to be much more effective with the alcohol’s aid, but that was a whole other issue which he failed to foresee.

He usually preferred to keep his brain on and fully functioning, especially when he was alone, with you. That way, when you roused the butterflies in his stomach and pulled on his heartstrings, he could tell himself to just ignore it and focus on how important your friendship was to him. But now, his defenses were failing him, and there was nothing he could do to stop his heart from beating faster, palms getting clammier.

“You’re good?” he reiterated quietly, watching the way your tongue swiped across your lips, enchanted by it.

You chortled, finding the thought entertaining, apparently. “Yes! I feel really good right now.”

“Ah,” he murmured, sitting back and allowing the pillow he had propped up to sink around his form. “I feel... kinda good, too.”

A mix between a laugh and a scoff escaped you at his confession. “You feel something already, Sho? Wow, that’s so efficient.”

Shouto didn’t really know what you meant by that, but he only smiled softly at the happy look on your face. He closed his eyes and listened to the fast rush of blood in his ears, the feeling of warmth prickling at his skin. He wasn’t drunk, per se, but he felt a little lighter than usual.

You had said that drinking would turn his brain off, but it seemed only part of it wasn’t functioning. The other side of his mind was working overtime, much to his chagrin.

He was suddenly aware that this would be one of his last moments with you before everything would change. You were going to an internship not too far from his, only an hour away by train. But seeing you wouldn’t be nearly as easy as walking down the hallway… and it could only happen if the both of you found a time that worked and had the motivation to travel the distance to meet one another. He wasn’t sure if you wanted to do all that, just to see him.The realization hit him hard.

No more sneaking to one another’s room and having whispered, midnight conversations. No more studying together and simply being in your presence. No more opportunities to let his gaze linger on you longingly, nor chances for him to grab your hand when your knuckles brushed against his in the middle of your walks.

He felt sick at the thought of living without you. Maybe… maybe it was time for him to face his feelings head on. He had spent so long denying the recognition of them, the acceptance of them. The loss of you was imminent, unless he could finally force himself to say something, and it had to be soon.

As if you had picked up on his distress, you hummed quietly and shuffled closer to his side. His quirk spiked at the sudden proximity, heat flaring up as your head came to rest on his shoulder.

“I’m a sappy drunk, so I apologize for what I’m about to say,” you mumbled into his t-shirt, his skin prickling as your warm breath wandered through the seams and onto his skin.

He huffed out a laugh to ease your worries, but he stayed absolutely still, unwilling to move a muscle in case it would somehow scare your body off of his.

Then you whispered, “M’so lucky to have met you, Sho.”

Shouto choked on thin air, subtly wiping the moisture on his palms across the tops of his denim-covered thighs. Your scent surrounded him, and he couldn’t resist resting his head on top of yours, slowly breathing between your locks. “I… I feel the same, Y/n…”

It was quiet for another moment, his mind playing out a hundred ways to confess, trying to find the right words. Meanwhile, you were simply enjoying his reciprocation and the peacefulness of the quiet away from the party, completely unaware of his inner turmoil.

You sighed and he shivered as your breath scattered across his collarbone again, almost jumping when your fingers landed softly over his. How you remained so soft with their vigorous training, he had no clue. But your fingers felt so warm, so right lacing with his. His throat was thick with apprehension, a lump forming there as the seconds ticked by. It wasn’t often the two of you were sitting so close together, and he wondered if he was a piece of shit for thanking whatever God there was out there for you being kind of inebriated and so touchy right now.

Slowly, he turned to look at you, eyes wide and conflicted, taking in how truly astonishing your beauty was up close. You lifted your head from your perch on his shoulder, gaze locking with his before your lips curled into a meek smile. Digits tightening around his, you squeezed his hand and rubbed your thumb across his knuckles.

He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, screaming at him to do something— anything— whatever it took for him to just form the words and tell you that he was in love with—

“Thank you for being my best friend.”

—you… He blinked, the words registering.

You continued. “I know we’re moving away from each other, but I never wanna lose you. I cherish our friendship too much for that to happen, Shouto.”

Your words cut him.

Friends. Friendship.

His blood felt like it had frozen in his veins and he had become a statue, stock still as you carried on thoughtlessly, eyes now flickering over to the moon hung low in the indigo night sky.

“Please promise me that we'll never change. We might grow as people, but… our friendship will stay intact, right? I don’t wanna grow apart.”

It hurt.

Time had stopped and his lungs shriveled up, his body aching as if you had just lodged your knee straight into his ribs. His tongue tasted bitter suddenly, and he could almost hear the sound of his heart cracking.

But Shouto was good at hiding his emotions, years of compartmentalizing them giving him an edge that no one else he knew had. He kept his face neutral, even if it felt like he was withering and dying inside.

“I just… don’t ever wanna lose you.”

It was almost impossible to force his lips into a thin, hollow smile. But he managed, even if it felt like prying iron with a crowbar. He looked into your eyes and nodded.

He understood. To some extent, he truly understood.

“I don’t want to lose you either, Y/n... Don’t worry,” he took a deep breath, forcing the next words out even if he felt like he was about to be sick.

He cherished his bond with you too much to risk chancing it, confessing to you, and throwing it all away after your certain rejection. He loved you too much to ever hurt you, and he was too selfish to let go of you, too. The only one that would suffer from this was him, and he was alarmingly alright with that.

If it meant that he got to hold onto you, even for just a little bit longer.

If it meant that you would be happy... Even if he wasn’t.

“We’ll always be friends... I promise.”

─── ・°* ﾟ✧:* • ｡ﾟ:*･☽･*: ｡ﾟ•*:✧ ﾟ*°・ ───

˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ ˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚

afJSNKJKDKJ WRITING ANGST FOR MY BABY IS SO HARD AHH I LOVE U SHO PLS... reader is so dumb to see u only as a friend i hate that dumb bitch ughhh (TдT)

➥ masterlist

𝐂𝐨𝐩𝐲𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 © 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐠𝐞𝐩𝐢 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟏 . 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

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stuckybarton · 4 years ago

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Sucker For Pain i

SUMMARY: You were new to the team, but what everyone didn't know was you weren't so new to the God of Mischief. CHARACTERS: Loki Laufeyson x Ex!Reader [Ex to Lovers again?] WARNINGS: Profanities. Suggestive Themes. Slight Angst and horrible self-image. Grammar Mistakes. English not being my first language. [Not Beta’d tho] WORDS: 2,956 CHAPTERS: [1/3] A/N; Life happened and yeah, didn’t have much time to write. Not my best work for this mini-series, but I’m fighting through for this. Hope you guys enjoy~

PART TWO | PART THREE

MASTERLIST || Join the Taglist

"Agent Y/N Y/L/N." You introduced yourself the first moment you were escorted into the compound by Director Nick Fury. Multiple sets of faces both new and old had come to greet you. For a moment you wouldn't even believe that this is was the new life you would find yourself to be a part of from now on.

Years in the job for SHIELD before disappearing off the grid to get as much information about HYDRA, everyone had thought you had betrayed them and you had accepted that they would think so lowly of you after all the near-deaths you had to endure on the job. Even with the mission becoming more of a death wish, you had accepted the role Nick had given you all those years ago and now you were rewarded, immensely. A spot on the Avengers as part of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

The familiar face of Nat was the first to greet you with a hug. A fiercely tight one, it had been so long since you've seen a friend. Then your eyes fell towards the rest of the team; Bucky Barnes, who you had a few close encounters with during your time with HYDRA. You had witness everything they had done to him and stood on trail to clean his name. Steve Rogers, who, with Sharon Carter, had assisted in guarding Steve while SHIELD was still under HYDRA's control. But among the familiar faces, one stood out the most.

Loki Laufeyson.

To many, the man was a snake, a God that had once brought death and destruction in New York. But to you, he was different, this was the man that you had spent your lonely nights with while under the guise of a traitor. It had once just been a physically thing between the two of you, neither wanting to know about each other's lives. You knew he was a God, a man that had wronged the world, but he had never known about you, the woman that had painted yourself as a traitor for the better of the world. The one that had been called every name on the book for the sake of making sure you did your part right.

Then it got serious between the two of you. Admission of love was told between both of your lips. But it was dangerous for you two to be together especially when you were already told by Fury that you can come back to the surface. You didn't know what side he was on, and you did not have the heart to make him choose if the time would come.

So you two parted. A month ago. The pain still throbbing you like an unattended bullet hole right through your heart. It was still so painful to look at him and not remember him crumbling on his knees begging you to stay. The first sob that escaped his lips and forever haunted your dreams. A never-ending loop in the back of your head as your demons screamed at you for breaking an already broken man.

"I for one am happy you're finally here. Another woman to add to an already Man's Man world in the compound." Nat teased glancing towards the other individuals that had come to know the new face. "With introductions out of the way, you've got a lot of explaining to do for the past few years."

You could only smile at your friend. You did have so much to explain to her, things had been murky between you and Clint, but after everything, Nat had refused to believe you would betray them, betray her, and it was finally a relief to be able to return back home, seeing the people that mean the most to you.

"Tell me about it." You muttered allowing Nat to quickly pull your away from the crowd, but it missed your eyes how he was still looking. Ice blue eyes a contract to the burning gaze he had towards you.

Forget about him. Forget about him. You were here for a new opportunity. No him. Never him.

For the next few weeks, everyone had grown to accept you in your new role as part of the Avengers. You kept up with Steve, Bucky, and Sam during their runs. Sam more than happy to finally have someone that had the same pace as him, but only for you to laugh and out run him just to get a reaction out of the high flier. Tony and Bruce had also found a kinship in you, having provided them enough information about HYDRA's experiments and location made most of their missions easier. Then there was Nat and Clint, your confidant in this new life. Every single moment that was not dedicated to a mission was spent with them; may it be movie night or a simple get together outside the compound, often times bringing Wanda and Vision along just to mess with you and call you a 5th wheel of the group.

But among number of members on the team, everyone had noticed you constantly avoided one Thor Odinson and one Loki Laufeyson. The only real time you would even dare talk to either of the brothers would be during training--other than that, you tried your best to avoid them, Loki most especially. Every single moment that would force the two of you to be in the same room, Loki had a glare while you tried your best to avoid his gaze.

Everyone noticed, everyone didn't seem to worry too much. It comes with having a former-villain part of the team. They thought you would eventually get used to the God's presence just as much as they did.

"You ever gonna tell me what's going on between you and Loki?" Nat inquired avoiding your punch.

What you hated the most about sparring with Nat was her capability of multitasking. Talking and snooping about someone else's business while also kicking their ass in the process--this was the predicament you were in right in this very moment.

"Nothing is going on." You muttered landing back first on the mat after being thrown like a rag doll by Nat. Eyes looking at the ceiling, you wondered if it was a good idea to actually come clean to her about her past with the God of Mischief. "I know what he's done to New York and I think you can't blame me for taking precaution when it comes to him."

Nat now comes hovering on top of you, the narrowed eyes and gentle smirk was all you needed to know--she knew it was bullshit. But when she had stopped pushing you for more information, it was enough for you to just change the subject.

"They found Dominic?" You inquired. One of the first big missions that everyone was focusing on was one of the leading Scientist for HYDRA. With the exposure of HYDRA to the world, some of them had moved away and found themselves in much shadier company, much to everyone's radar now spiking.

Dominic Wagner was, in part, partially responsible for the Winter Soldier program in the modern era. One of the pioneers in moving the project into a much younger sets of test subjects. You lost contact with the man as soon as your got back into the surface, but it had also meant a target was on your back when they found out you were a double agent.

"He's in Russia. Wasting away all the funding for the program with parties" Nat points out. "Still a better way to spend the money that abducting kids everywhere."

You nodded, memories of files upon files for the prospects still haunted you to this day.

"When are you taking him out?" You inquired. In your time with the SHIELD, the red in both of your ledger had made you two a hot commodity if the situation present itself as shoot to kill. Neither of you would hesitate. You knew you would now, after everything, but if it means one less bad people in this earth, you would swallow your new morals.

"Fury wants him alive." She pointed out finally standing back up to her own two feet, leaving you on your back, staring at the ceiling in deep thought. "I know as much as you do, we want him dead for everything he has done, but we need him alive so we can get the others."

You nodded, this was one of the few things you had to get used to as part of the team. Death was best solution in SHIELD--at least in your team, not here. As long as you were part of Steve's team, you would need to choose whether or not killing would be the best option. Hope that you weren't so blessed to be given in your time under.

"I get a first shot when we don''t have any use of him anymore." You muttered finally standing back up with Nat's help. Steps faltering at the sight of the God of Mischief, training with the likes of Peter Parker, Sam Wilson, and Bucky Barnes. A weird mix up, but wasn't hard to understand why.

"Why don't you shoot your shots with him for now." Nat teased, finally making you break from staring at the plain black shirt and green sweatshort-clad Loki Laufeyson. "If we try to ignore the death count during his attack, he is sort-of your type in men." Nat wiggled her brows. quick to avoid you as you attempted to swat her in the ass, eyes now turned away from God and his training partners.

"By type, you mean psychotic with possible Daddy-issue? Then you might just be right." You snort.

"I'm offended you think of me as such, Darling"

Jerking your head to the owner of the voice, how the hell did he sneak up behind you without you noticing. You glanced at Nat in panic and like the traitor that she was, made a terrible excuse of being needed in Bruce's lab. Now being left in the man's presence, you could all but remember the last time you had been this close to the man.

Heartbreaks.

Words that you didn't mean.

Words that he didn't mean.

It still hurt you, and you were sure it hurts him just as much, if not more now, finally realizing why there had been a need for a breakup between the two of them all those weeks ago.

"Here I thought I would have someone to trust. You mortals continue to disappoint me." He hissed.

Your eyes glanced at the other training trio, noticing all three of them were in their own little world to even noticed what was going on between the two of them.

"Tell me, Darling..." He whispered, head leaning towards the shell of your ears. The familiar shiver run through your skin as just his voice. Memories of the very things his silver tongue had whispered had you flustered and breathless, more than from your earlier training with Nat. "Was it satisfying to play with a God?"

Before you could even mutter a word, his constantly gentle hand now covered your jaw, emitting a squeak from your lips and stopping you from saying a word. He was never this forceful, nor did he do anything that would hurt you. Was this the true nature of the man you had finally thought you have been the best part of you. To have loved a man that everyone was right to stay away from?

"Or is it shame finally coming to you, to be ever involved with someone like me?"

You tried to pry his hand away from you, but he was too strong--stronger than you could ever think of being.

"Or is this you taking your opportunity to move from one bed to another? Who will it be this time, Y/N? My oaf of a brother or will it be Soldier out of time? Who will you whore this time?"

And you finally snapped. With a resounding slap, all three individuals had heard your attack on the man and Loki finally releasing his hold on your jaws. A chuckle escaped his lips and only brought the first line of tears to fall from your eyes. You never wanted to believe him to be a monster, but here he was, proving her wrong.

"I am in doubt of the foundation of our relationship for the past years, Y/N. I am the God of Mischief and Lies and the only mortal I had ever truly opened to had done this to me. Lied to me for such a long time, lied about the entirety of our relationship."

"You will never understand."

"Oh no," he chuckled darkly, eyes glaring straight into your own. "I understand well enough to know, you would never love someone like me and I deserve every lie and heartache I am enduring because of everything I have ever done in my past."

Before you could defend yourself and the genuinity of your relationship with the God, he had made his excuse. Leaving you to ponder of the true damage of your breakup with Loki, and the aftermath it had now held for the both of you. He was right, you had lied, and either way, their relationship will fall apart because of those lies.

He was the God of Mischief and Lies.

Yet, he did not expect for this biggest lie to break him the most. The separation had been painful, he had always hoped for a better life with you. Then a month passed since your breakup, he sees you, it hits him like a sharp knife to the chest all over again. He experience the pain of a stab to the chest, but it would never compare to the pain of seeing you in this very compound with the truth of your life that you refused to ever open to him.

This was karma coming to haunt him it seems.

It had been well over a week now since the first time he had actually confronted you about everything. It wasn't how he planned for things to go through. He never wanted to hurt you, but he was a monster after all. A monster that his own father had told his people to avoid. A bedtime story to scare mischievous kids into submission.

He had always thought after everything he had to endure, had to do, had to escape, he could finally live a peaceful life. A life to finally start anew. A life where he could finally change for the best. A mortal woman had made him make those ideas come into reality, you had always became the reason why he would never have his redemption in life.

A bitter idea with no possible resolution.

How could he have ever believed that anyone would ever love someone like him? After everything he had ever done, he was never allowed to be loved. You had proved that somehow.

'Mr. Laufeyson, you are needed for a meeting with the team'

Breaking from his little bubble. He sighed finally returning back to reality, into the little comforts the library could give him. The week had been gruelling for him, three individual witnessed the altercation between himself and you. It had spread like wildfire, but thanking the Gods that no one was able to listen to the conversation.

He had to endure most of the questioning. In everyone's eyes, he was, after all, still under everyone's constant scrutiny. A man that no one could trust. But he refused to say a single word knowing you did the same thing. It was better to keep your mouth shut instead of letting people know exactly what had happened. Somehow that brought a smile on his face. He might not share a future with you, but might as well make the most out of making your life a living hell, as much you did it to him.

Shutting the book he was barely even reading, he placed the book back into the shelf before walking his way towards the meeting room.

He could easily teleport, but he preferred to enjoy his moments of peace without his oaf of a brother breathing down his neck or Stark constantly testing his patience with his quips. It also gave him a moment to school his features, he knew well enough about the mission to know you would also be in attendance. Be more invested in this mission than anyone else.

It was a few things he was relearning about you now that you were out in the open as everyone claims you to be. You were a free spirited being that could meld with anyone you were in the area with. He had watched you throw relentless jabs at Tony during your first few days that had the man surprisingly raise a white flag. But the most dangerous thing he had to learn was the familial relationship you had with one Natasha Romanoff and Clint Burton, two people that he kept his distance with the most.

"Professor Snape has finally graced us with his presence."

Loki has learned since joining the team to choose his battle when it comes to Tony. This was one of those moment. Finding a vacant chair besides his brother, he had taken his seat. A big mistake on his part as he finds from across the table, you sat. In between a glaring Romanoff and Barton.

Wearing a smirk, just to get on the two super spies' nerve, he turned his attention right back into the meeting. He begins formulating a few little schemes to not only get on the two's nerved, but most especially yours.

#loki laufeyson oneshot #loki laufeyson one shot #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson imagines #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x you #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki one shot #loki oneshot #loki imagines #loki imagine #loki x reader #loki x you #loki angst #loki fluff #sucker for pain

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ackerfics · 3 years ago

Note

hange and their best friend (reader) "platonically" flirt with one another, they use pet names for each other, making others think they're together unintentionally. until reader finds an s/o, not knowing hange actually likes them

she — hange zoe

— hange zoe x female reader (modern au)

— warnings: angst ??? the stinging feeling you get when you see someone you love, love someone else

— summary: hange's best friend found love in the form of autumn while hange associates her with all of the seasons.

— word count: 2.5k

— notes: i love hange but i hate myself for writing something that hurts them :<<< they're my first love in aot and it pains me to imagine them hurting in any sort of way (which is probably the reason why i bawled my heart out in chap 132). this little fic hit too close at home for me bc it's exactly what i felt one time during high school. it's fucking traumatizing and istg, i don't want to relive falling in love with a friend again, it's like the most satisfying way to hurt, too. happy reading tho :<<<

reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

She embodies everything positive in Hange’s eyes.

She is spring — the bursting of blossoms under the tendrils of sunlight seeping between the spaces of the trees in the woods. Every time Hange closes their eyes, they are reminded of how she signifies every single flower they ever know. She makes them feel everything at once — see every color at once in a single frame. There is no space for artistic abilities in Hange’s calloused, mismatched hands but when it comes to her, they can create a myriad of paintings encapsulating her beauty at every stroke of a brush. Her laughs, her flowery perfume that doesn’t hurt their nose, her smiles that are as radiant as the early morning Sun — are ingrained in their brain. She brings forth the butterflies that Hange carefully imprisoned in their ribs, the monarchs’ wings already seeping through the cracks at every joke she makes, reaching to their heart until every beat swayed to the sound of her giggles.

“Hange, the love of my life, there you are!”

Hange turned around with a huge smile on their lips. Their conversation with Levi came to an abrupt stop, with the shorter man mumbling along the lines of ‘here we go again’. The small smile on his face spoke otherwise while watching two of his closest friends hug each other as if they didn’t live together in an apartment right outside of campus. It was such a mystery that Hange could be so comfortable around someone to the point of playfully kissing their neck in public, followed by their best friend’s melodious laughs soon after. However, Levi couldn’t be fooled. He knew the glint in the brown-haired person’s eyes. The downturn of their eyebrows when their best friend wasn’t looking. The longing was apparent when she was talking to someone across the room.

The idiot going by the name Hange Zoe was irrevocably in love with their best friend, [Name] [Last Name].

“What is it, baby?” Hange asked vibrantly, glasses reflecting the equally excited girl in their arms. “Didn’t know your class dismissed this early. What happened?”

“Nothing. Our professor announced that we should visit a museum for our finals.” She then mimicked the haughty tone of her Art History professor, straightening her back to make herself appear taller. “Choose a painting or a sculpture and trace down its history and attach your critique in the final output. If I see anyone half-assing this paper, I will not hesitate to give a failing grade that will make you retake this class. I know you lot don’t want to see me again for another semester and I don’t want to see you again, too. So, prove to me you’re worth your standing in this course.” She cleared her throat. “What he said.”

Hange whistled. “Dang, I’m happy that I didn’t follow you to the Arts Department. Your professor sounds like a complete asshole.” They chortled the next second. “Sounds like my mom, to be honest.”

“At least your mom makes a bomb bento box.”

“Yeah, I guess, you’re right.” Hange then nuzzled their face in her hair. “But your bento boxes taste much more delicious — I could eat them all day. Can I be your partner so that you’ll cook for me every day?”

“I’ve already taken the position of your wife the moment I agreed to be your roommate in university, sweetheart. And I cook for you every single day so you don’t have to ask to be my partner because you already are.”

Hange looked smug at her reply, the heat in their cheeks traveling to their ears. “That was a rhetorical question but hearing those words come out of your mouth, it’s making me feel things.”

“Oh? What are those things?”

The brown-haired person snickered under their breath, glancing at Levi who was now looking at the two of them in that lazy way of his that might come off as him being annoyed again. In reality, he was only waiting for the two to finally stop flirting to recognize he was there. His daily job of being a third-wheel should’ve started fifteen minutes ago but Hange wouldn’t let [Name] go. Hange turned back to the expectant girl. “I don’t want Levi to hear what I’m about to say. Just expect something back at the apartment,” they joked, a cheeky smile tugging at their lips.

[Name] laughed heartily. “I’m looking forward to that, gorgeous.”

“I’m still here, you know?” Levi dryly made himself known. He huffed and turned around in the direction of the university restaurant. “Come on, lovebirds, let’s have lunch. Oh, and [Name]?” When he heard her little hum of acknowledgment, Levi slightly turned around to meet his friend’s eyes with his jaded ones. “It’s your turn to buy me a drink. Make it a venti today.” She only blinked at him, giving him no choice but to resort to that dumb thing she always asked. “Please can I have a venti this time? I got you and Hange a venti last time so this makes us even.”

“Ooh, make mine a venti, too, baby!” Hange squeezed their best friend’s waist.

“Anything for my sweetheart.”

“Again, I’m right here, you know.”

Just the thought of that little scenario hurts Hange.

But as much as the pain comes in the package, she is still summer in their eyes.

The Sun can’t compare to the brilliance of her smile. Kind smiles and gentle touches under the warm rays of the summer heat. Her scent is yellow to Hange — so bright and warm that they don’t care how long they bask in her presence, never caring if they get burned because it feels so right to be within her orbit. She urges them to feel so loved and so special, tender caresses of her warmth cascading down every vein until it reaches their heart. The cerulean waters of the sea hold nothing against the beauty of her grins, brown eyes searching for her every time of the day no matter how ethereal the world painted itself to be. Viewing the sights with rose-colored glasses is what they may call it but for Hange, it’s simply her. Someone once said that summer brings forth a paradise where blue covers everything in its wake, the cry of the seagulls reverberating in the distance, and the scent of ice cream flickers in the breeze. For Hange, summer is in the form of pretty close-lipped smiles, of late-night movie marathons on a worn-out couch, of bento boxes filled with their favorites, of a scent so saccharine, and a loyal friend.

A friend.

Of course. No matter where Hange goes, that word haunts them. Hidden beneath their smiles, their jokes, their longing, and admiring stares. It’s a reminder of where they stand in this limbo they created. At one point, they thought that line had been crossed only for it to be established again in permanent ink. And before they know it, Hange is tumbling down in a spiral, along with a change of seasons.

Fall is where everything started.

The orange glow of the leaves created the perfect view as she sipped on her tall cup of warm coffee. The blissful sigh that came soon after warmed up Hange, even though they were seated in front of each other in the outside tables of the small cozy café where Levi was working at. The chill brought by the autumn wind caused both of them to shiver in their layered clothing. The way she nuzzled more into her scarf made Hange coo, reaching out to pinch her cheek affectionately. Autumn was both their favorite season, how it made them resort to the comfort and warmth their sweaters bring, or how they cuddle in each other’s beds with the air conditioner blasting despite the cold. It was also a season where Hange could admire her in their hoodie, a piece of clothing that swallows her whole because she’s so small compared to their lanky figure.

Hange remembered being called out here because she wanted to talk about something. Now that they thought about it, her cheeks appear to be glowing more than usual and she kept glancing inside the café where Levi was busy telling his coworker how to make the new drink. Hange even went as far as following her gaze but they didn’t find anything out of the ordinary other than Levi sighing in that stressful way of his that always made them snicker. They turned back to their Sun, who was once again in a daze while staring at the clear windows of the café. “So,” they prolonged the syllable, “how’s life going, darling? I know we’re living in the same apartment but I just can’t help but ask you this because it seems like you’re always in a daze these days.”

A pause made the breeze’s call known.

“Hey, Hange, have you ever been in love?”

That spread the chill even more inside Hange’s chest. She called them by their name. Not sweetheart nor big spoon. The reality washed over Hange like a pail of freezing water.

“W-What?” Damn, they couldn’t keep the stutter off their words.

She turned her head to them, eyes so soft and smile so beautiful that made Hange breathless for one second. The butterflies dwindled, losing their iridescent wings when they realized that look wasn’t reserved for them anymore. “I thought about it,” she murmured, rubbing her numbing fingertips on the warm cup. “I have never fallen in love with anyone before. Sure, I love you and all our friends but I’ve never stopped and thought about how someone can look like starlight in front of me. But recently,” again, that pretty smile that pierced Hange’s chest, “I never knew that it could hit me that unexpectedly.”

Hange grinned despite the pounding of her chest. “So, who’s the lucky person?”

She chuckled, going back to staring at the interior of the café. “I told Levi to lay off on scolding her but he never listens, says she’ll never grow a backbone if he’s being considerate on her.”

Now, they’re confused because the only people manning the counter as she spoke was Levi (and she would never fall in love with Levi, seeing as they grew up together like siblings rather than the childhood friends that they are) and a strawberry blonde who looked like Levi’s become their worst nightmare. It took Hange a full minute to process that the person she’s been staring at was never their mutual friend, but the strawberry blonde who looked up towards their direction and waved with a pretty blush on their cheeks. She waved back with the same shyness, leaving Hange dumbfounded. “Wait, the person you’re in love with is—”

“Yeah, it’s her.”

Suddenly, Hange understands why she’s starting to like autumn.

It reminds her of the girl’s hair, which she gushes about smelling like coconut. It reminds her of the girl’s preferred perfume, how it smells so much like cinnamon, something that she sometimes puts in her autumn drinks because in her words, ‘it’s the perfect season rather than winter’. It reminds her of the girl’s hugs, the way both of them fit with each other like lost puzzle pieces.

But as the seasons change, feelings of long-term pining will always be constant.

“Are you okay, though?” Erwin asked them, blue eyes reflecting their pathetic faux smile. He pushed the plate of pasta to them since Erwin had an idea that Hange wasn’t eating that much now. It also worried [Name].

“Yeah, four-eyes, I know you’re not doing that great and I’m saying this in the friendliest way possible because we’re worried now,” Levi reminded them, sipping on his tea with slightly narrowed eyes. “You always decline whenever we want to bring you to somewhere, to the point of leaving Nanaba on voicemail. You always answer at the first ring. Look here, shitty four-eyes,” the way Levi enunciated the nickname made Hange slowly turn their head to him, face void of the smile they were known for, “shouldn’t you be happy for her? [Name] gained the courage to confess and you’re here moping when you should’ve been supportive—”

“And what of my feelings, Levi?”

That made Levi blink and feel like an asshole.

Then, the dam broke.

“I’ve been with her all this time, you’ve seen that. You witnessed how this shy girl opened up to an extroverted idiot and became one of her best friends during high school. It feels like I can’t fucking breathe because I always thought we were meant to be. When she was lonely, I was there to comfort her. When she got a bad grade on an exam, I was the one who knows what flavors of ice cream she wants or how she eats them together like a fucking milkshake. Every day, I never expected her to look my way like she looks at her girlfriend right now. It fucking hurts. It feels so empty to know that I’m not the one she fell in love with. What did I lack? Should I be sweeter and gentler like that girl? Or dainty whenever I eat like she is? Be girly and dress up like a doll? Fuck, I can’t even bring myself to hate her girlfriend. She’s so nice and kind and sweet, anything I’m not.” Hange buried their hands in their hair, making it messier than it was.

“I just want [Name] to love me and make things wonderful. Why isn’t Fate on my side this time?

“Why didn’t she choose me?”

Tears were now drifting down like snowflakes.

“Hange,” Erwin murmured.

“Look, sunshine, it’s snowing!”

A voice catches their attention. A strawberry blonde cheers the words with glee painted in her eyes. Beside her is the subject of the trio’s conversation, the subject of a brown-haired person’s affections. Her eyes are taking in the beauty that is her girlfriend. She looks so pretty in love — how her eyes crinkled at the corners and how snow clung on her eyelashes as if she is a fairy straight from a fairy tale Hange loves when she was a kid. Her girlfriend takes her hand and pulls her to the restaurant where the trio is watching from the windows. Gray and blue irises slide over a somber bespectacled person, gauging their reaction though their face never gives anything away.

“I’m right behind you, Petra. I just took the time to admire you because you’re so pretty under the snow.”

“Stop it! You’re prettier!”

“Did you know that seeing the first snow of the year together with the person you love, your relationship will rival that of eternity?”

“Then, I’m happy I get to see this first snow with you, sunshine.”

“Me, too, angel.”

Hange smiles under a steady stream of tears. “I’m happy for her. I’m happy she found happiness even if it’s not with me.”

The chill blows inside the warm walls of the restaurant the moment the door opens, [Name]’s joyous greetings for her best friends bringing smiles to two of them. Her eyes drift to brown ones before turning to Petra to ask for a pack of tissues since Hange’s tears are still visible. Hange watches the commotion with a small smile, the chill spreading through them like a snowstorm.

Winter is here.

general taglist:

@angelofthorr

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i-need-air · 4 years ago

Note

Hey, you can ignore this if you want. But, just a thought, hybrid Izuku? Like maybe he has a kinda bad past too, just because I live for the angst beginning to fluffy end.

Sorry it took me a couple of days to answer! I wanted to switch it up and I mainly had to think a way to make Izu work as a hybrid, so I decided to make him be a bunny hybrid [ blame his cute hero costume, srsly ] I ended up writing the small amount of 3.7k words somehow— [ listen, i get emotionally involved, ok??? 😭 ] I genuinely hope you like it! 💕

[ Masterlist ]

Hybrid!AU Bunny!Midoriya Izuku

× you looked at the man sitting in the corner of the cell, both petrified staring at each other

× his bunny ears were lowered, his green eyes widened in your direction

× all you could do was to stand still, shocked and without being able to even mask it

× he looked awful to say at least

× meanwhile the reception guy that accompanied you for a tour of the shelter whispered in your direction; "This one is in really bad shape. Very traumatized, poor soul..." he clicked his tongue before continuing "He's been sent here from another shelter cities away, I don't know much about him and he won't talk."

× you could not look away even if you tried

× the reason why you decided to pass by the shelter was because you offered to help voluntarily in the weekends as you had some free time

× you did read and hear horror stories about the shelters and the hybrids thrown in them, how underfunded they were, how bad the conditions there were and how little help they had but—

× even if you came prepared for the worst you got surprised with the state some of the hybrids were in

× specially this one; his name was on a plaque by his prison like cell— Midoriya Izuku

× he had bruises, cuts, his hands looked specially beaten up and scarred, his behavior was erratic, nervous, just a disaster...

× something deep inside told you to smile and show him you're no threat, so you did

× you introduced yourself and nodded your head, really trying to keep a calm composture but your heart hurt seeing him like that

× much to your surprise, he nodded back, still uncertain but didn't move from his place, far back in the cell

× you've been gently pushed away to continue the tour and to establish your tasks, all while being thanked for your kindness; you didn't know why you felt like throwing up at the indifference in the man's voice...

× there weren't many hybrids in the shelter anyway, yet you've gotten your scheduled hours in which you'd help clean and cook and as you left for the day after some introduction to those tasks; your mind still lingered on Midoriya Izuku even through the night, as his terrified eyes stole the sleep from you that same night

× the following two days you began your volunteering hours and always kept an eye for the hybrid; he was skittish and asocial even at lunch and dinner times, did not talk to any other hybrid and specially not to any worker there

× he caught your eyes multiple times whenever you'd be in his general proximity, yet you'd see him scurrying away instantly, which made you feel unease; you weren't any threat, really, so maybe with time...

× it's when you brought your own cleaning supplies [ because there were little to none ] and decided to help clean their "rooms", so called by the staff, when you firstly got to talk to him

× you reached his cell and he was reading an old book, probably borrowed from the small library they had; he snapped his eyes up when he heard you approach

× "Hello, Midoriya" you'd say gently, heart in your throat, really scared you'd frighten him

× he just nodded and looked away, not before giving your cleaning supplies a long look, knowing what's to come

× with his permission, he let you go inside as you started preparing everything to swipe the floors, putting the broom in a corner as you leaned down to pick some other stuff; what you didn't notice was how the broom was gently falling, almost about to hit you on the head

× the green-haired hybrid was on your side instantly, catching it; it would've been a small tap on your head and most out of the situation would've been you looking ridiculous but you chuckled at the scene and thanked him wholeheartedly

× smol bean blushed so hard you almost dropped everything in your hands at the sight; "N-no problem—" he stuttered, his voice sweet and shy 🥺

× he stood there fidgeting with the book in his hands watching you move around until you heard an unsure "Can I help you?" 🥺🥺

× you told him sure, if he'd like to, mainly worried he really didn't want you in his "territory" but the man took it as an invitation and—

× it didn't stop at his cell? he helped you all day???? you cleaned around together but not without an awkward air around both; which ngl it's funny bc he's staring whenever you talk to everyone, clean, help, so on; big round eyes are always on you;;; IF YOU LOOK THO, oops— "what an interesting wall right there!" - Midoriya, probably.

× it's from then that you notice a switch; whenever you're at the canteen, he's there offering to help, looking just as skittish as always but a small blush always on his face

× whenever you'd be playing with the younger hybrids he'd watch in awe bc you treat them so well

× exactly when he actually starts talking to you more too! he's in the impromptu playground with you and the few little ones when he suddently drops your name in a stutter and says you're kind-hearted

× you almost drop dead in the spot bc his look, man; you haven't seen him so sure of something until now and it did something to you

× it's been a month and hybrids came and got adopted, yet your new friend wasn't really getting any attention; he really acted terrified and you of course questioned his behavior; you knew nothing of his past but seeing the way he acted it could've been just awful

× as you started to slowly engage in larger conversations with Izuku, it's at the canteen that this time you've been caught staring; at his hands in particular

× he was helping you cook, which he really didn't know how to do but tried nonetheless just because he really enjoyed being around you [ or so you assumed, hopeful ]

× when he realizes where you're looking at, you almost dreaded him retracting from the situation like he used to do but he just looks down at them too and sighs

× "I was at a fighting ring—" he said, pursing his lips "—but I'm a rabbit hybrid... a prey... they used me as a punching bag."

× your heart rips in two as you're speechless; even if you tried to be careful with your movements not to spook the man, you could not help yourself by putting your hand on his

× and that's how Midoriya Izuku died, end of HCs 💀

× just kidding; he almost fainted, face fully red as his ears perked up, staring at you with big eyes yet did not move an inch

× and even if his face would've been adorable in any other situation, his words remained imprinted in your mind as you squeezed his hand in yours

× "I'm so sorry you had to go through that, Izuku" you whispered back at him; he just nodded and blabbered something before continuing with the task clumsily

× boy is broken for the rest of the day, that's what I'm implying

× bad news got to you when you found out you couldn't go to the shelter anymore to help; your hours got increased at work and your shift was all over the place and even if you really did talk with your boss, it was decided that for now you had to adapt

× dread filled your gut when you realized you couldn't see Izuku anymore and with that you noticed how fond you grew of him, that's why you loathed the next visit there

× but— you really wanted to see him more; getting to spend time with him and helping around was what got you through the week...

× you told him slowly that same Saturday and it visibly broke him

× he tears up and tries to mask it as best as he can, yet he nods understanding

× "Will— Will I ever see you again?" the soft tremble in his voice shook you to the core

× "Of course. Every day, if you'd like." you blurted;;;;; he blinks at you, tears stopping just to have his head tilted to the side, ears flopping with the movement. "Would you like to come home with me?" you say, idea just popping in your head and balling it;

× he cries harder then he nods

× everything about your volunteering ceasing for the time was already filled in, you guys just needed to fill some paperwork for him, grab his little to no belongings and get the hell out

× small gym-bag in hand, i sweat to god, this man is overwhelmed with being outside

× stays glued to your side all the time, specially on busy streets towards your home

× once you feel him grab on your shirt just for precaution and you melt?? but let him have it

× once you arrived, you see tension leave his body as he smells his surroundings; mf drops a "It smells like you here" through a smile before realizing what he said and getting all flustered 💀

× sooo you move past that as you can and show him around, a spare bedroom not long ago used by your old roommate offered to him

× you only see his surprisingly muscled back as he enters the room and drops the gym-bag on the floor

× he slowly turns around to look at your face and fat ass tears run down his cheeks, not being able to say a word even if he tried

× hands-down the scene almost gives you a panic attack; he then asks if it's all for him and you assure him that indeed it is when he cries harder...

× ok, that again shreds your heart but it wouldn't be the last time

× like for example the moment of utter disbelief he threw at you when you asked him what he wanted to eat that night and he didn't know how to respond because nobody, ever, asked him; you got that as a response after asking if you said something wrong

× or the following Monday, when you suggested you went to do some shopping for him in the morning, since there wouldn't be many people and it would be calmer

× the look of awe in his face, istg...

× from then on he opens up pretty nicely too; it's such a refreshing sight to see him tell you about how he learned to use the computer, TV, phone— the sparks in his eyes whenever he talks of something new he learned? imagine it and now you've gained 20 more years of lifespan, you're very welcome

× such a soft cutie, i swear 🥺 always asks things about you and gives you the same sparkly eyes when he learns more about you

× it does take him some time to come out if his shell though

× you fastly realize he's a nerd; oops, but it's true, and definitely isn't a bad thing! he just really likes to learn about everything and anything and I feel he genuinely likes to tell you about those new facts

× i hope you like them bc when he learned new cool stuff he made a note to tell you about them bc he thought you'd find them cool too and—

× is very tidy and helps around the house, but when it comes to being social he just freezes

× you ask him if he'd like to go for walks and you see him itching to go out for some fresh air, although the thought of other people...

× with time and small walks around the neighborhood, he overcomes the fear as long as you're by his side

× will definitely want to go back to the shelter to volunteer even if you can't, but the fear of walking there just overtakes him again since he'd have to do it alone

× mentions it though

× his expression is so uneasy bc he feels like a burden

× maybe you could work around your schedule to take him there and pick him up? he genuinely loved giving a hand at the shelter so if you do, Izu would be so thankful

× in a few weeks he'd gain the confidence to walk alone

× one 💕adorable💕 thing he does without even thinking is jumping around you, or just in place

× "Today little Miya got adopted!" he'd say, hopping slightly in place "I could tell they were good people too! They had good intentions... just like when I saw you for the first tim—"

× so he mumbles without thinking;; and sometimes blurts out cute stuff like that but when he realizes what he's saying he gets very shy 🤭

× he has this fluff smol tail but we don't talk about it;;; no, no, it's too much for us, I promise you it's the cutest fucking thing you've seen in your whole existence and it moves a little bit and we all die here???? he hides it though, pft

× so fluffy we gonna dieeeee

× he steals your blankets

× hear me out, omg! he does!! if you have small blankets you just throw over yourself to stay on the couch or anything, sometimes they'd dissappear only to be found in his room; he's very sneaky about it but cracks under [the zero] pressure you put on him, leading him to say "It's because whenever you're not around, I like to have something close to me that smells like yOu! it makes me feel sAfe—" his voice cracks "BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO, I'LL STOP, I JUST—" he'd placate his hands instantly, apologizing

× tell him it's okay and now your hoodies are gone too lmfao

× he's a muscular guy too so consider buying really big ones just for him to wear;;; after you wore them;;;;;;

× says sorry a lot and that's a thing you have to work with a lot

× if he messes up something, he will apologize instantly; if you tell him to stop bc you don't mind he forgot to put the washing machine as he promised he will act like he's the worst

× as if he feared you'd get angry...

× i know it's a recurring topic but give him time

× whenever you both have free time and hang around the house, he'll be on the couch reading near you

× eyes you constantly and he's so obvious about it it's ridiculous; you can see him from the corner of your vision when he turns his head to check on you so through a smile you have to ask him if he needs anything

× what's fantastic is that he's getting over the point of being scared to speak out around you YET he stutters, blushing

× "N-no, nothing!" but he's observing your comfortable form with much interest

× "Wanna... cuddle with me?" [ 's not like you read about bunny hybrids and how they need skin contact which definitely didn't make you uwu and die in the spot bc that's so 🤧💕😭💘🥺 but you waited for him to show any signs that he'd want that; we're respectful like that, mhm ]

× his fluffy ear twitches

× shock, disbelief, blush

× it twitches again

× blushes harder then nods

× sksjdkdjd he's by your side instantly though with no idea of what to do

× good lord, he's so stiff; why don't you grab a blanket to throw it over both of you, hmm?

× he'd bury himself into it then into your arms and soon he'll find out being there is his favorite place in the galaxy

× since his mind drifted to galaxies, Izu then starts talking about constellations bc he's nervous

× so when you rub his back he melts into you with a happy sigh yet when your hand reaches his hair, almost about to touch the top of his head mindlessly as you hum at his words

× he flinches— then you stop to look down at him, catching him wide eyed staring into nothing

× you don't even know why you apologize; maybe his horrified face?

× but before you can form a full sentence he interrupts you

× "Don't apologize. It's not your fault—" he'd glue his eyes on you "I— I used to get bullied a lot back then... they'd pull my ears..."

× without any other explanation you take your hand away, placing it on his shoulders, mainly feeling out of place again; every time he speaks of his past, it just gets worse...

× "But! But I trust you, [Y/N]. I really do." and he leads your hand back to his head

× 🥺💕💕💕💕💕

× then, with convinced features, he drops his head on your chest and snuggles for some good seconds before it clicked to him

× now he's apologizing

× until you ruffle his hair and he just experiences bliss in real life

× massage his scalp and say goodbye to ever leaving his side, you're now in his firm grip until the end of time but who's complaining

× like he has no shame anymore, it feels that good

× he can hear your heartbeat, as fast as it is, and he snuggles further into you; it's his lullaby

× now let's get to business

× look: he's adorable, sweet, doting, cares about you and about hybrids, he's actively trying to get out of his shell, he's built but tender, couldn't hurt a fly;

× don't lie to yourself, you've got a big fat crush

× little did you know this guy right here liked you from the moment you introduced yourself to him, months prior

× the issue is Izuku is really insecure; after hearing his whole life that he's inferior to both humans and some hybrids, he started believing it

× and comments whenever you're outside with him do not help

× he has a spectacular hearing

× doesn't miss how people whisper about you two, even if you mind your own business doing whatever

× it's mostly older people, judgemental and disgusted with hybrids that call you a freak for having one, that call him an abomination

× he tries so hard to ignore them but his behavior changes back to his silent old self, yet this time he doesn't cower anymore although grips his pants until his scarred hands are white, not answering back to you if you talk

× you have to assume he's again uncomfortable outside so you suggest leaving, not sure how to behave

× he kinda snaps on your way back home when there's nobody around

× stops in the middle of the road, looking down, brow furrowed and trembling lips

× "Am I never going to be good enough for you?" he'd clench his teeth

× "Izu—, what...?"

× the determined glare he sends you stops you in your tracks

× "Because I want to be. I want to be better for you."

× 😳

× basically confesses in a dramatic way as he's overtaken with emotions then screeches bc oh no what if you don't feel the same so "I-It's okay if you don't feel the same! If you're uncomfortable I can move back to the shelter!! I'm so sorr—"

× smooch him pls????

× and share your feelings just to give him a stroke lmfao

× he'll take the initiative to grab your hand and walk home like that, the other on his face covering it

× peck his lips and he malfunctions every time

× but loves it

× be sure of this: after that night, he's so soft for you and won't hide it

× he's a creature of contact, meaning his fingers will linger on your form, he will seek your form, he will want to snuggle his face in your neck, he definitely will stare at your lips for too long bc he's still shy and embarrassed by his confession to make a move; smooch him pt. 2

× he's so— adorable; he finds himself in front of your bedroom door with your blanket in his arms and has an existential crisis

× you see his shadow at the small creak under the door and akfjaksj

× open the door and let him sleep with you ffs I'm having a stroke for him

× can he be the little spoon? or can you two hug face to face? it's just that 🥺 he feels safe with you like that, a feeling he's been always missing

× any time you're in his arms or vice-versa he breathes out as tension leaves his body; best place in the whole universe, no hesitation.

× he's a petty lil shit, let me tell you that, ok??

× someone flirts with you? lol k he's behind looking not intimidating at all but he's frowning, his ears are twitching and chest puffed

× takes your hand just to prove a point

× talking about his hands

× kiss them, caress them, anything

× he just... yes, pls, do that

× whenever you're not looking he's giving you the gentlest smile and even if you notice, his lips will curl even more before he throws a compliment at you

× pretty much likes your reactions bc he's always the one that's flustered the most between the two [ genuinely doesn't matter if you get flustered or not, he just tops that energy 100x more ]

× likes to know he has the same effect you have on him on a daily basis

× will try to find a job at something he's interested in and i definitely see him finding one at a library or something like that

× he enjoys the silence, completely different from his old loud and over the place life, and also loves books

× unrelated hc but i just imagined Izu whispering the words out loud whenever he reads without noticing it; his green eyes focused in the book, face concentrated and ears low to not get in his field of vision; want to make him happy? listen to him and when he finally notices you, tell him to go on~

× he's the embodiment of akfwpdkslfjjwj 💕

× honestly your life with him is peaceful

× the way he loves is gentle, really sweet and it all revolves about peace in your household

× he adores you to no end and thanks you for helping him improve himself

× and getting him out of a life without a goal or purpose

× gets out of his way to help you, always you and wants to prove he's good enough

× he already is and you better tell him

× give this baby all the love he deserves and you'll get just as much in return

× I'm soft for him oml 💘

#midoriya izuku x reader #deku x reader #midoriya x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya headcanons #hybrid!au #hybrid!midoriya #hybrid!deku #noirewrites

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oikadori · 4 years ago

Text

A/N: No one asked for this but I really wanted to write some angsty fic...so this is the outcome of listening to Callum Scott and Conan Gray for three full days asfkasjk sorry this is the longest thing I’ve written Hope you like it!

Miya Atsumu x f!Reader

Summary: He was your best friend and she was perfect, but still you fell for him

Genre: angst, unrequited love

Warnings: self-doubt, insecurity, swearings

Now playing: Dancing On My Own, Heather

WC~2,6K

You should already be used to hear it, but every time Atsumu let out a booming laugh you couldn’t help staring at him with dreamy eyes.

“Oi, Y/N! Are you even listening to me?” his hazel eyes open, looking at you playfully.

“Yes, I’m hearing you, and no, it wasn’t as funny as you think” he frowns, pushing you from your chair almost making you fall if it wasn’t for his quick grip on your forearm, “You asshole!”

“Why so harsh on me today, sweetheart?”

Yo feel your stomach twist at the nickname, making Atsumu smile at the way your cheeks get a dark red.

“Because you were a total dick with those poor girls” he sighs, tired, stretching his arms behind his head, “You could’ve been nicer, you know?”

Biting your lip, you remember the teary eyes of those girls as they ran away sobbing after they had told him their love confession. Would you have the same luck if- No, no way you had a crush on him.

“They have a crush just on my looks, it’s annoying”, he spits, “Why do you care so much anyways?”

“I…-” he looks at you with curiosity as you carefully think your words, “-I guess I would feel horrible if I were them and confessed”

“Don’t tell me you have a crush on someone Y/N”

“Of course not, all of you ,men, are idiots”, he place his hand on his chest with a wounded look, making your eyes roll, a smile tickling your lips, “Now, hurry with your homework, you’re stealing my lunch time”

He reaches for his bag, taking out his lunch box to hand you the extra Onigiri he had. You smile fondly even if it is not the first time he brings you food during your study sessions.

He was your best friend, yet his gestures never failed to dazzle you.... Maybe you do have a crush on him.

///

You enter the gym with a tired look, a yawn slips pass your lips before sitting on the bleachers, you plug your earbuds and take out an unfinished assignment from your bag. The second years wave at you, Atsumu sticking his tongue out, you wave back before locking eyes with him and returning the gesture, making the setter grin.

The next time you lift your eyes from your work, you open them wide before taking off your earbuds to listen to the scene in front of you.

A girl wearing the team’s jacket enter the gym alongside the captain, making it feel as if the time stop. The team look at them in surprise as she bows.

“I’m eager to be your new manager! I used to play but-” she points at her wrist with a shy smile,” I got pretty bad injured so I hope I can be helpful here”, you advert Atsumu’s gaze, making your heart flinch a little.

“I’m Miya Atsumu, setter, I haven’t see ya around before” the girl looks at him with an eager look, leaning closer, a happy smile on her face as Atsumu stands still, the smirk on his face fades as she erases the gap between them. ‘The hell is she doing?’

“Oh, I know you! The star setter, guess what they say about you is truth-”, you wait for the usual compliments girls told him all the time, your lips curve up a little remembering Atsumu’s usual reaction at them, “-your serves are truly monstrous, your technique is impeccable”

His eyes glimmer with curiosity and you notice the light blush on his cheeks as he gives her his best smile. In all the years you’ve known him, you’ve seen him flirting with girls, hooking up with one before getting another, but this…this was different.

You stand up before properly thinking what you are doing. You haven’t felt jealous before and you didn’t have the right for it, but an overwhelming despair sets the pace of your feet as they move towards them.

“I used to be a setter myself but-“

“Hey, Tsumu, see you after practice to finish our chemistry homework?” you peek your head between them, making the girl take a few steps back, a surprise look on her face. Atsumu looks at your innocent smile and blinks.

“Y/N, I told you not to call me that in practice-” he whispers to you, hiding it with a few coughs, “Uhmm, sure” the couch calls them and he waves at you before jogging off with the new manager to line up with the rest.

Your eyes linger on them a few more seconds, he laughs with her, making you furrow your eyebrows together, noticing just now, how beautiful she was.

///

“You still look like crap”

“Shut up, Samu!

You stand between the twins near the main door of the cafeteria, watching Atsumu run his hand through his hair multiple times as he stares at his reflection on one of the windows ‘All that… for her?’

A voice that comes from behind you, makes Atsumu look over your shoulder with a nervousness you haven’t seen before.

“Tsum Tsum!”

He gasps at the sight of her, the short dress she is wearing frames her figure perfectly, and you can’t help to look at your own clothes wondering if you couldn’t have dressed more casually.

You remain silent as she reaches for his hair and ruffles it friendly, the display in front of you feels surreal, suddenly your limbs are numb and your eyes can’t seem to drift away from Atsumu’s happy smile as he grabs her wrist to kiss her hand.

“You look stunning”

“What a gentleman – Oh, hey ‘Samu and-“

“Y/N” the words come sharper than you intended, the girl just let out an innocent giggle

“I’m so sorry! I don’t get to see you a lot in school, you’re in the advanced classes, right?”

“Y/N is a genius, they wouldn’t allow me to play if it wasn’t for her”, Atsumu says pointing at you with pride while his other hand rests on the small of her back guiding her to your table. A lump forms on your throat, making it impossible for you to reply, you manage to pull an empty smile.

On the table you are silent as ever, nodding at all the conversations the second years try to include you in. Your mind is already far away, wondering all the possibilities that could happen if you were brave enough to confess right there, right now, but the sight in front of you snaps you to reality again.

Atsumu lips gets stained by some red sauce and before you can point it out, she licks her thumb before pressing it on his lips. His cheeks turn bright red and his jaw slightly slacks open.

“How is that you aren’t already dating? It’s been almost three months since you are all over each other” Suna casually says

Three months indeed, and she entered more and more in their small circle. But how could you stop it when she was just…so lovely?

Atsumu stayed until much later in practice but still you chatted together. Late night texts, becoming in late night calls to check up on each other.

‘I want to ask her out. Fuck, I want her so badly, but what if she rejects me, Y/N!’

‘Tsumu, you’re Japan’s top high school setter. Believe me, she won’t reject you’

Now you want to hit your head against the nearest wall, remembering your stupid words.

“Would you say yes if I ask you out?”

“I would say yes to more than that” the table falls dead silent at her words as if they waited for the next scene of a movie.

Suddenly Atsumu press his lips against hers with ferocity, she pulls the collar of his shirt, deepening the already heated kiss. You almost choke on your water, earning a concern look from Kita, you find yourself standing up violently before rushing to the restroom.

You close the door behind you before looking at yourself in the mirror, ‘I could have never competed with her’. You bite your lip, and shut your eyes tightly, your hands grasping both sides of the sink, you let your head fall forwards, eyes fixed on the white of the porcelain as they water.

“Y/N, are you okay?” you stiffen at the soft female voice coming from the other side of the door, “Do you need help?”, you let out an humorless laugh. ‘A sweetheart with everyone, huh?’

“I-I don’t feel good, it’ll better if I head home. Please tell the others, I had an emergency or something” your throat feels extremely dry all of sudden and your voice comes out shaky.

“Oh! I can take you home-“

“I’ll rather go alone! I don’t know if I’m sick and I’d hate to…infect you. Thank you, tho”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes”

“Okay…text me when you get home!”

When you hear the footsteps fading away, you wait a few more minutes to walk out the restroom, just to find Atsumu talking cheerfully, his eyes filled with adoration for her. He didn’t even look at your direction as you left the cafeteria, and in that very moment you realized he would never look at you that way.

///

“Where is Y/N, I haven’t seen her in years?”

“I think she is tutoring some first years”

“Oh” Atsumu finds himself looking at your usual spot on the bleachers, he barely got to see or talk to you in the recent weeks.

You’ve been missing his calls on purpose. Since that dinner, you had to put all your energy to smile at him when he waved at you in the corridors as he held her hand. It had been almost a month of hearing him talking about how gracious she was and weeks of looking how they made out on the couch in the end of the library or against one of the gym’s walls.

You thought that if you put distance with him, you’ll manage to get over that soreness that felt heavy on your chest each time she made him laugh. But no matter how many extra classes you took or how many first years you tutored, your mind always came back to Inarizaki’s setter.

The sky was dark by the time you finished tutoring the last first year, he bowed at you and you gave him a brief smile before locking the classroom. You handled the keys to your teacher and walked out of the building.

The cold wind hit your face, making you shiver, you search for your jacket in your bag, finding only a scarf. Atsumu gave it to you. You haven’t used it in a while now, but the cold was too much to bear with for your thin uniform. You place the material carefully around your neck, caressing the fabric begore sighing, watching your breath fading into the air and start walking.

“Oi” his voice makes you turn instantly, and you catch him jogging to you, “It’s fucking cold out here!- Uh, you still have it?” he points at your neck with a cheeky grin.

Atsumu looks extremely handsome like this, a little pink on his nose and cheeks and the few lights highlight the hazel of his eyes. It makes you gulp before replying.

“Of course, I do. It was my first two-digit birthday!”, he laughs remembering the chaos you both made by that age, you smile a little before looking at him with concern, “What are you still doing here? Something happened?”

“No! I-I just wanted to walk home with you, like we used to” he looks at the ground and sighs, “I know you’re busy, but I missed ya” the words make your heart warm even when you can’t stop shivering, “You are freezing” he takes his volleyball jacket and place it over your shoulders

“No, I’m fine, really. You should-”

“Stubborn as always. What am I supposed to do with your freeze corpse?”, you huff, putting the jacket on as he starts walking.

“What about your girlfriend?”

“She already left, don’t worry she knows you’re my best friend, she won’t act bitchy at you” you just nod and start walking alongside the setter, not caring about the sting that ypu just felt in your heart.

The walk is long and awkward, Atsumu finally getting hit by the way your friendship had changed. Your brief answers and forced smiles make him more and more annoyed, becoming more silent with each minute.

You didn’t have the energy to keep up with his drollery, each time you looked at him you just felt the urge to be held by him and tell him the painful truth: You didn’t have a crush on him. No. You loved him.

“What is wrong with you?” he says, suddenly stopping.

“Excuse me- “

“If you don’t want to be friends with me anymore, just say it! Jesus!”, his exasperated tone makes your eyes narrow, “-But don’t have me fooling around, worrying about you for almost a month” your mouth twitches downwards as you realize your indifference had hit a spot on his pride.

For a solid minute you don’t hear anything, you just stare at him with a flood of thoughts rushing through your head until you manage to pull one of them out into a dry whisper.

“We shouldn’t be friends anymore- “his clenched fists loosen, and he watches your lips carefully, “I can’t do it anymore – thought I could but…is too much”,

The crack of your voice makes you stop for second, giving you time to gain a little bit more of air before feeling again as if you were drowning.

“I can’t be friends with you anymore, because I want you!… The worst part is that she is so FUCKING perfect!” your arms move in the air letting out all the feelings you had bottled up.

“I thought I could brush away the feeling, but I realize – I love you, Atsumu” his mouth opens slightly not able to produce a sound as your arms fall to your sides, a tear streaming down your cheek.

You take his jacket off, the cold air embracing your body, but you can’t care less. He motions to you, but you lift your hand, stopping him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Would it have changed anything?” his silence tells you all you needed, making your heart clench, “That – That’s what I though…It’s okay, really. I wouldn’t choose me either” your breath becomes irregular and you bite your lip, capturing a sob, “This is my fault, falling in love with you…If being friends makes you happy, I-I will do my best to be your friend, then”

Atsumu was usually selfish with the things he wanted and proud about the things he made but seeing you there, shivering with red eyes and swollen lips, made his heart ache.

And he couldn’t be less proud about the things he was about to say.

“You were right before. We shouldn’t be friends anymore. I do not want to deal with you being in love with me and my girlfriend”, you hiccup, fixing your sore eyes on his, “You made things so fucking complicated, it’s better to end this now”, he hiss, gritting his teeth, waiting for you to storm out.

But when he feels your cold lips on his cheek, he bites his bottom lip harshly.

“Sorry, I never meant-”, ‘To fall for you’, it takes all his will power to not envelope you in his arms, so he only turns his face away, hearing your sobs. He loved you but not the way you did. “-to mess us up”

You walk away quickly, tears running down your cheeks as you press your hand firmly against your lips, drowning the uncontrollable sobs. Atsumu stands there watching you disappear into the coldness of the night, shutting his eyes tightly, understanding, he had lost his best friend.

❀ Please reblog if you like it! ❀

Thanks for reading ♡♡♡

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oinkawa-bb · 4 years ago

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first time dads!haikyuu pt.3

request: Hiii I just read everything you’ve posted and I. Am. In. Love with your writingggg! I was hope to request a part 3 for your first-time dad series for Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kenma, and Akaashi :) -@lollypop-lam

note: ahhhh!!!! helloo bb~~ thank you so much for your luv<3333 i was rly not expecting so many ppl to read this series!! but i enjoy writing it so here’s a part 3 for you (i tried to add more variety of scenarios for y/n so it’s not all the same!) hehe i hope you like it! thank you for ur request!<3 here is dad!tsukki, akaashi, yams, and kenma

mentions: pregnancy, domesticity, fluff, slight angst, timeskip, fem!reader

part one (daichi, kuroo, oikawa)

part two (iwaizumi, suna, atsumu, osamu)

☀︎—kei tsukishima

he already knew something was different since the day you took the test

kei could sense that you were tenser than usual

Exhibit A was when you slightly jumped as he placed one hand gently on the small of your back,

it was really nothing out of the ordinary...

so he raises an eyebrow at you, not saying anything, but just questioning with his curious expression

you bite your lip,,,,

this was unplanned and even though you’ve recently discussed having kids, you’re worried about how kei might feel because honestly you’re pretty anxious,

but when you break the news to him,

the corners of his mouth are upturned into a soft grin

and he quietly pulls you into a hug

you also could’ve sworn that there were tear stains that he left on your shirt after

but when ur in his arms while he’s whispering about how excited he is, you know that you’re ready to have a family with him<33

tsukki likes to express his care for you and his child through subtle affectionate gestures,,

like his favorite thing to do when he comes home from work is envelop you in a back hug,

and he likes to run his large hands gently over your bump, waiting for a kick

when he feels one, you bet your ass that this man is grinning bc he just can’t hide his excitement !!!

i feel like he’d be a super cautious dad-to-be,

like if you’re given prenatal vitamins or told not to eat certain foods,

he has scrutinized the labels and the internet to make sure everything in the house is safe for you and his bb<33

during your whole pregnancy, he’s more logical and clear-minded, but there’s a stark contrast on the day you actually go into labor owo

like i’m talking sweat beads running down the side of his forehead

and his hand clutching yours for dear life as he guides you to the hospital room

during the entire labor, tsukishima can’t be separated from you...

like when you get up to go to the bathroom and make him stand outside, he’s leaned against the door with his arms crossed

he’s acting like a bodyguard?? but like for what idk

he’s quite tense until his baby makes their appearance,

but when he does get to hold the baby, his body is wracked with silent sobs and he’s overcome with a wave of emotion

he’s silent on the outside,

but his mind can’t even begin to process the monumental amount of love he feels for u and this little bb <333 🥺🥺🥺

dad tsukki has fallen in love all over again.

☀︎—keiji akaashi

akaashi slips into the bedroom when he hears ur sniffling,,

your back faces him, but he can tell that ur hunched over something in your hands...

when he approaches you and sees that your eyes are puffy n swollen,

his voice is filled with concern,

“what’s wrong?”

it takes a moment for you to choke out your words but you manage,

“keiji, i-i’m scared,”

then he catches sight of the white stick in your hands,

and he sees two faint lines sitting on its little screen

he takes a seat next to you, pulling your body against his and pressing a kiss to the temple of your forehead,,,

“what are you scared of when you have me?”

the two of you have a long conversation that night,,

mostly with akaashi reassuring you that he’s prepared for whatever decision you make and that he’ll always be there to support you🥺

the next morning,

you’ve calmed down and thought clearly about this, realizing that many of your anxieties stemmed from how keiji would react,

but after realizing his willingness to support you,

you can’t help but smile and press a hand to your belly as you look in the mirror in the bathroom

and when akaashi sees this, his heart is so full and excited!!!🥺

throughout your pregnancy, akaashi is overwhelmingly supportive and emotionally reliable,,

he listens to your concerns both physically and mentally, helping you talk through your worries and find solutions,,

he’s also suuuper intimate with you,

bathing and pampering you,

staying up late to talk with you,

waking you up with kisses nd breakfast in bed,,

he’s just the most perfect partner to you.

and every day you spend beside him reaffirms your excitement to have his child

when the day arrives, you’re beyond anxious,

he can just tell from little gestures you make that you’re more nervous than ever before,

so akaashi has one hand on you at all times during labor, so you can physically feel his support

the process couldn’t have gone more smoothly than it did, and akaashi’s so grateful

and when he gets to hold the baby against his own chest,

he’s smiling through the tears that are welling up bc

his eyes now lay upon the most beautiful replica of you.

fugg i luv keiji🥰🥰🥰

☀︎—tadashi yamaguchi

the day you tell yamaguchi you’re pregnant?

he’s probably crying.

no, he’s definitely crying.

he’s also definitely overexcited

so when he went in for a hug, he immediately lets go bc he’s worried that he hugged you too tightly🥺

he’s just a ball of emotions and kind of all over the place!!

but he gets it together asap and is already on dad duty the very next day

making doctor’s appointments, listing purchases to be made, planning for your baby shower, n anything he can do to be prepared

he makes many a few unnecessary purchases

something like a bougie hundred dollar memory foam pregnancy pillow for u

and a temperature controlled collapsible baby stroller for his bb

his heart was in the right place but his money was not asdgfd

but he wants to treat you like the queen that you are,

so he’s always excited to come home to see you after work

and he likes to bring home things that will make you happy

food and baby clothes and flowers uwuwu

i also think tadashi came up with the idea to start scrapbooking the memories of your soon to be little family of three <33

so he takes cute little polaroids to keep them in a scrapbook

and he also definitely keeps a lil photo of the baby’s ultrasound in his wallet that he often takes peeks at while at work

and he can’t help but smile and tear up at the thought of starting a family w u 🥰

every morning, he just feels so blessed to wake up to the sight of you n your lil bump aka his future child ?!?!!?

and when that realization registers in his brain,

he just has to pull you close to him, plant a kiss to ur belly, and cuddle you for as long as he wants <333

the day you go into labor, yamaguchi lugs like 3 hospital bags frantically out of the house (he definitely stuffed them fully to the brim)

he’s overall pretty anxious but he’s mostly anxious about the pain you’re going thru🥺

with each hour that passes at the hospital, he’s pacing the room back and forth, always coming back to ur bedside to hold ur hand and kiss it many times

when the time finally comes, yamaguchi can’t believe that he’s actually seeing his child irl

like.... he��s in awe of the beauty of his child, just utterly speechless...

it registers a little bit later and he’s crying again

but back home, yamaguchi is always so eager to take care of his baby and he’ll do anything n everything to take care of his child and help u rest and recover

dad yamaguchi melts my heart

☀︎—kozume kenma

so u decide to plan a little surprise for kenma one morning

and he’s all groggy from just waking up,

but he peeks his eyes open when he hears you shuffling back and forth right at his bedside,,

he sees that you’re only wearing a white oversized tee and he’s about to pull u back in bed for more sleep,

but then kenma’s eyes focus on the text that’s handwritten in sharpie in the center of the shirt over your stomach

“kenma jr.”

he’s never seen this shirt before, and then he’s realizing what it means and his eyes widen in anticipation !!!

so u crawl on top of him and lay your head on his chest while he’s processing,,

“you’re—?”

“yes, kozume. i am.”

he’s smiling with his eyes closed,

and he lifts his head to kiss your hair before wrapping his arms around you and whispering in your ear that “he doesn’t know a kenma jr. but he can’t wait to meet them”

you swat at his chest jokingly, and he smiles even wider,

but you don’t see the love that resonates deeply in his eyes when he looks down at you🥺

bc you end up falling asleep on him lmaooo

but ever since that day, kenma is on high alert whether it looks like it or not...

he’s especially protective of u in public,

observing those closest to you and gently shifting you out of the way when someone gets too close...

kenma is most affectionate though when he thinks you’re not aware,,

meaning he likes to run his hand over your stomach, admire your sleeping expression, nd gently kiss your hair

all while he thinks you’re asleep but you’re not tho and it makes ur heart explode

kenma also doesn’t struggle to sleep at night, but he ends up choosing to stay awake for as long as u are

and he stays awake even after u fall asleep bc he likes to whisper some of the sweetest words to just kenma jr uwuwuwu

on the day when kenma accompanies you to the hospital, he’s listening intently to the patterns of your breathing,

so he knows when the pain is worst and he holds onto you tighter during those times,,

after hours of labor, kenma ends up super teary eyed at the sight of his baby,

he’s silently swaying the baby in his arms nd just thinking about how much his heart is overfilling with luv...

he knows kenma jr now... and he loves kenma jr with his whole heart<333

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