#not super happy with it but ive been messing with it for weeks now so have it

[savethepinecones]

once again feeling guilty for setting boundaries yippee

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For taking down my cousin's pride flag?

So my cousin is the most no-nonsense person Ive ever met. He (M28) is very serious, and takes everything really really seriously, but he's still a joy to be around. He's super smart, and the whole family adores him, he's kind of the golden child in our family, though theres zero resentment from the rest of us.

My whole life, he's been this pillar of the "perfect kid" and although he's nice, since he's moved away, no one has been to his apartment or really seen him outside of family celebrations, dinners, weddings, etc.

Last week, he was in a car accident. (another car T boned him) and he was put in an induced coma in the hospital. He's coming out of it now, expected to make a full recovery, but is still expected to stay at the hospital for a while. My aunt, his mother (F72) asked me and other cousins to go over to his house and collect items he might need. Clothes, books, etc. She took the keys out of his clothes and have them to us, all while my cousin was still out of it.

When we got there, I opened the door to a MASSIVE Gay leather pride flag.

First thing on the wall. When we went into the apartment there was BDSM equipment, gay pride decorations everywhere, and other graphic things that made it clear my cousin is, A, gay, and B, firmly in the kink community. I don't want to get too much into it, but there were certain Polaroid pictures stapled to the bathroom wall that left little doubt.

All of us were needless to say, a little horrified.

To be clear, I am queer, and a MAJORITY of our cousins are as well. None of us had any inclination he is gay, and its clear no one else in the family knows. This was the first time anyone had been in his apartment.

We took a vote, and as the oldest one there I made the decision to hide everything. I took the flag down, I (carefully) put as much of the items that were an indication away in a box and hid them. It was a pretty extensive clean out, but I moved books and other things around on the walls to make it look a little less bare. An hour after that more family showed up at the apartment to help, people like our grandmother, more aunts and uncles and my parents, all of them cleaning or doing dishes or putting food in the fridge to help my cousin's recovery.

A few of the cousins that were there when we first found the stuff have said that I shouldnt have messed with any of it, that the pride flag was on the wall BECAUSE my cousin was happy about his identity. I argued that my cousin hadn't told any of us, isn't out to the family as far as Im aware, and I wanted to protect him in case he wasn't ready.

Further clarification, no one in the family is OUTWARDLY homophobic, but I'm still not out to a majority of my family either, and if i was in my cousin's place, Id want someone to hide my stuff for me.

My cousin still hasn't been released from the hospital, and I haven't found time alone with him to tell him that I moved some stuff in his apartment. When I handed back his keys he looked a little panicked, and I tried to look reassuring.

Im having second thoughts about whether what I did was good, or if I'm projecting my own fear about coming out to family on him. Am I the asshole?

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[agirlandherquill]

the troublesome typewriter

introducing rust bucket!

she’s an olympia sm2, and also my summer project, i got her mid-july and ive been working on her for about three hours nearly every day ever since

now when i got her, she was a mess, and i mean a mess - what im assuming is decades worth of grime, dust, rust, and i dread to think what else came off of her - hot soapy water was a life saver in terms of cleaning, then pure white vinegar (not the distilled kind, ive been using the elbow grease brand since that’s all i could find in my local supermarket) to get rid of the rust,

waging a war with rust, im fairly certain its surface rust, has been a nightmare - ive removed as much as i can, it takes a long time with pure white vinegar since its not the strongest thing in the world but since it doesn’t seem to harm the machine itself i don’t mind, its a bit of a trade off rather than risking using harsher chemicals, but of course rust adds character (is that my way of excusing the little bits of rust here and there that i can’t quite get off? yes, yes it is) so i decided to call her rust bucket,

she’s not completely good to go yet, she’s had a bit of an oil and a clean to free up the keys and the carriage because let me tell you, when i first got her, those did not want to move one bit,

then i had to spend a few hours tinkering with the drawband, working out how to adjust the tension and use a wire with a makeshift hook to thread it back to where it’s supposed to be and attach it to the carriage to make it move while typing - which before i sorted it out, it did not do, at all - and i finally managed to sort that issue today!

it’s around 85% working, perfectly fine writing a5 wise since that’s about halfway through the ruled scale, but going past halfway for a4 seems to require me pressing the shift button to give it a bit of a wiggle so to speak so that the carriage shifts on and i can type the next letter, so doing that between letters is the only slightly annoying part, but given the fact that it didn’t even move at all before i started working on it I’m more than happy with how it is,

all i have left to do is give her a final scrub, a bit more sanding down (might do that before the scrub im not too sure), then painting!

i know it’s not the usual stuff i post on writeblr, not at all, but i figured if i’m going to try and write on this thing when it’s all sorted out then it’s worth sharing,

and it’s also a way for me to remember that i actually made this decades old machine work again, and it’s the first time ive ever tried anything like that, so im super happy with how its gone so far!

and considering ive only spent about £20, including the machine itself then with supplies, it’s really going to pay off for future me and future writing (i hope!),

so hopefully in a couple of weeks i’ll be able to show you all rust bucket when she’s all finished!

[causenessus]

GOOD MORNING 🗣️🗣️ i know its like 6 something am but we're gonna ignore that bc i physically cannot fall back asleep (curse insomnia)!! make sure you eat enough today and drink water! idk when you're gonna answer this ask but im assuming at nighttime like usual so dont forget to take your meds 🙂‍↕️

omg recently ive been having matcha a concerning amount like i went to an asian store like a WEEK ago and now like every day im making something with it... it's probably fine though?? i wasnt even a big matcha enthusiast before but i remembered seeing a post from you and literally all it said was matcha break and i was like "hm! that sounds pretty good tbh now i want matcha." so here i am, after buying matcha. addiction isn't pretty/j

ANYWAY when i was trying to fall asleep i randomly remembered when u put up a shelf and accidentally messed up a tag on your post about it😭 i think it said something like "if you're rintarou suna i don't care" and when i read it i was like oo that's not! and then u reblogged it with the correction BUT APPARENTLY IM THE EXCEPTION ‼️ i think we got married under that post LMAOAOAO so i remembered all of that when i was trying to fall asleep and then i js started laughing it was so stupid omg,, pushed back my sleeping like 15 minutes but it was worth it bc it was funny

SO ITS MY FIRST DAY BACK TO SCHOOL TODAY OH MY GOSH 😨 itll probably fine im just dramatic but theres sm people i do NOT wanna see. like keep them far away from me or ill flip my shit type of not wanna see 🥰 so thats always fun yk! we're in this together now ness 🙂‍↕️

HAVE A GOOD DAY!! <333

HELLO HELLO SAV!!! i'm sorry for how long it took me to answer your ask </33 PLEASE MAKE SURE TO EAT AND DRINK AND TAKE YOUR MEDS AS WELL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH LOVE <3

matcha addictions are really not pretty LMAO for my wallet or anything else but honestly i love it!! and i'm so happy to have converted you!!! they're super super good i actually love that their bitter and honestly i will drink any matcha no matter if it's sweet or unsweetened 😭😭 my addiction is so bad that i even drink like two a day usually but at least....it's energizing...!!!!! so i hope you're enjoying your matchas <33

AND LMAO THE WAY I BURST OUT LAUGHING ABOUT THAT STORY YOU WERE REMEMBERING 😭😭😭 I'M GLAD TO HAVE MADE YOU LAUGH BC THAT WAS NOT A PRETTY MOMENT WE DEF GOT MARRIED UNDER THAT POST!! <33333 but i went back to like read my post twirling my hairs like "omg i love suna so much 🥰" and then reread the post like "OMG HOLD ON WAIT I SAID I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT HIM </3" but he knows i meant well 😔😔 and i corrected it in the end!!

AND I TOTALLY GET IT YOU'RE NOT DRAMATIC AT ALL!! THAT'S HOW I FEEL LIKE 24/7 LIKE YES I'VE BEEN BACK IN SCHOOL FOR A WEEK and still everyday i wake up like "man i am not looking forward to seeing these people today" like they never get better </3 in fact, they get worse 💀 I HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT DAY!!! AND LUCKILY IT'S FRIDAY SO I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND AS WELL!! AND GET TO REST A LITTLE BEFORE THIS NEXT WEEK STARTS </3

[vex03]

fuck my gay chungus life.

kicking and screaming and crying trying to let go of something that should be left in my memories, but my grubby hands are welded to it. i just gotta tear the skin cleannn off. might lose a fingerprint or two in the process. might get some nasty hangnails. some burns. but the skin will grow back, right? so that i can gently hold something equally precious in the future? and let it flow through my fingers at time’s will, rather than instinctually grabbing onto it and destroying it in my grip?

i don’t fucking know man. had a moment today (yesterday? it’s 6 am, i slept through most of the afternoon and evening) when i realized that i am genuinely a shell of who i want to be. yeah there’s health shit to blame but like. dude. i’ve spent the past year in just….. delusion. not quirky girl delusion. like straight up convinced myself of something that wasn’t real and was living my life by that. and it’s ruined me i fear. not divulging details because this is public and dammit i like being vague, but i have too many regrets for someone at this age and… medical standing.

the second mri was today. that was cool. the shit they put in the iv hurt this time. that wasn’t cool. same mri tech lady helped prep me this time. she was cool. i have to wait a week for a report. WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT FUCKING COOL. at least i figured out where they keep the imaging from their scans online, shit looks really cool. tried not to analyze it too much because hey what do i know, but that shit looks….. nawt good. super cool.

there’s way too much shit i’m sad or stressed or upset about right now. i just want to be happy. and also like maybe not have to be dealing with such high level health problems while my internal emotional jenga tower state has been rudely knocked over by somebody “accidentally” bumping the table with their hip lul

whaaaat a fucking mess

e

[disasterdrvid]

What are your top 10 video games?

Thank u @shift-shaping for the tag!

I'm tagging @localfruit @star--nymph @wardenrainwall @full---ofstarlight @perfectblve @sneklesbian @magic-space-games @notebooks-and-laptops and anyone else who wants/I may have forgot to tag <3

These aren't in any particular order tbh

Dragon Age: Origins

Genuinely this game has some of the best writing in the series and really wants players invested in their characters as character origins intersect with the main plot. Inquisition was my first DA game but Origins rewired my brain chemistry.

2. Pokemon Soul Silver

Not my first Pokemon game nor my most recent but it was the one that came at a pivotal moment in my life. Many weeks of coming home from middle school and ignoring my homework to run around in the game.

3. Stardew Valley

Absolute classic and one I consistently go back to. Sometimes I need to turn off my brain and yearn for the mines.

4. Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

I was never a Zelda person growing up, but I picked up BotW this year in time to play TotK. Oh my god, this game made me cry multiple times with it's lovingly-crafted story. I love the act of exploration in this game and it's encouragement to find multiple solutions to the same problem. Truly one of the best games of the last decade.

5. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

This game is such a mess and I love her dearly for it. It's character creation and leveling system is one of my favorite in any game and I'm very glad traces of it exist in Starfield (I'm not playing but my brother is and there's a lot of Oblivion love in it).

6. Cult of the Lamb

A very fun gameplay loop and roguelike combat make this super fun to replay. I don't come here for in-depth story (I've compared it to Happy Tree Friends in that regard), but I love the cult creation and maintenance.

7. Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

Underrated game of all time. It shows it age and there's elements of the story that don't work great but dear god I love it and I'm forever sad no one plays it. Lots of Irish folk inspiration, which I think would draw more people if they knew that was there.

8. Baldur's Gate 3

For context, I haven't actually been able to play but I've been consuming a lot of content for it so I know its up my alley. (My PC would explode bc I don't have the specs and it's not coming to Xbox for a bit 😭) But I love the characters and the DnD aspect so much.

9. Mass Effect

I'm not huge on shooters but the first Mass Effect really drew me in with its story. Not a perfect game by any stretch. However, it still feels fresh and new even now.

10. Tetris

Finally, original Tetris. Love me some shapes. First game I ever played because my mom had an old school Gameboy from before I was born that she handed down to me as a kid. Sadly can't play it on the original hardware (I still have it and it still runs!) because the screen is dogshit and I can't see, but luckily there's more places to play it now.

[fruitybashir]

Aaaaaaaaaahh so first of all: i’m sorry for not leaving any comments earlier, i definitely should have and i’m sorry i didn’t, because i love love love your fic and the last chapter and every chapter before and your writing and i don’t know what i’m supposed to do on sundays now that it’s over ajdkflckdhsb (well i guess it’s time for another reread hehe).

okay so basically i’m an emotional mess rn and have no idea what to write, i just wanted to let you know how much i love and appreciate your work <33333 so. yeah. thank you so so much for sharing this wonderful story and brightening up my sundays (and saturdays) ever since february (i think that’s when i first discovered your fic and i’m so happy i did and WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S BEEN MONTHS NOW i’m sobbing). now i’m just going to stare into space and smile like an idiot for a while (after first screaming into my pillow and kicking my feet because ajdbfhakdfusjsl i just love this thank you, this is the end of my ted talk) 💕💕💕💕

omg first of all: super okay that youre not leaving comments like obv i love love looove getting them bc they make me super happy, but also i get it, i also struggle with finding the right words to comment on the fics i love 😩

and thank you thank you thank youuuuuu <33333 and even though posting a chapter every week has been quite stressful to me lately, i will still super miss saturdays and sundays 🥺💔

like all the snippet posting and spoilers and stuff .... ill miss weekends with you guys 🫶🏻

but i promise there will be more haha and maybe for the epilogues and bonus chapters and whatever else follows i can still do some snippets and spoilers ...? maybe once ive finished something ill do a little three day countdown of snippet - spoilers - update sunday

or something like that. idk hahaha

[despite-everything]

just going to vent a little bit. i've tried not to post as much negative stuff as of late - i've really been trying hard to focus on the good stuff in my life but sometimes its so fucking hard. i've been feeling painfully unhappy for weeks now, but i've been trying to do things to make life feel worth living, including taking a ceramics class again so i can have access to a kiln. this evening, though, when i got in my car to drive to the studio, i saw my tire pressure light start flashing and it completely made me break down. i just filled my tires 2 days ago and had them all at the perfect pressure, so that means either one of my tires has a leak or my sensor is messed up. either way, it's super fucking inconvenient and i promptly burst into tears. i couldn't even go to my ceramics class because i knew that having to put on a happy face and chit-chat with these little old ladies in class would completely crush me, but also because i don't fucking trust myself and live near mountains and have a bad habit of nearly driving myself off cliffs when i'm unhappy. i haven't gone over the edge yet. but i'm worried i will in the future and i'm kinda trying to not actively kill myself. but there's some other shit going on surrounding my partners and i know i need to talk to them about some stuff but i dont want to and im so sad and unhappy and i never fucking get to see them so every time i do i just try to enjoy the moment but its making things worse and i know that. i know. and i know things arent going to get better until i say something but it really fucking sucks. im just exhausted. ive spent the vast majority of my life depressed and anxious and more than half of my life i've been suicidal. it's hard to live like this.

[coloursofaparadox]

i am very very proud of my chronic fatigued ass slowly building up to an average of like 15-20k steps or like. 3x 1.5 hour hikes/dog walks a week over the last few months. part of my whole messed up body shtick (P.O.T.S.) means one of the best ways to reduce the impact is to exercise, with the fun catch 22 of it makes DOING that exercise feel much, much, much worse 🙃 but now that im finally on a combo of meds that more or less works for both physical and mental health, ive been really really enjoying getting outside and doing things with my dog, even despite feeling like shit a lot of the time lmao. over the last like....4 months? I've slowly built up from the bare minimum for him (slow half hour walk 3x a week + off leash time where I can more or less stand still) to now where we go on a medium intensity hike almost every week, plus 1.5hr walks to the local community centre park to weave our way through and find fun little obstacles to do agility on, and run around in the field.

and it hasnt been easy!! like the half hour walks at the beginning were really, really iffy a lot of the time on whether or not i felt like just sitting tf down and giving up at some point. but im finally where i need to be w/ mental health and meds where i can keep slowly improving and not do a massive burnout backslide, in very large part due to figuring out how to eat intuitively in a way that works for me for the fuckin first time in my life, and managing to actually eat consistently enough that i have energy throughout the day. unless i go a bit too hard and get hit with the Super Fun Post-Exertional Malaise, I think I've actually been consistent with this level of activity for a while now.

anyways i am proud of me even tho i did it mostly for Lucas's sake. he is so, so much happier and more content now that he's getting enough exercise and going out to do new things with me. on my end i am very very happy that i can walk that long and go on hikes and feel good after, even tho I'm not totally confident yet on how much it helps day-to-day with POTS stuff like standing too long, etc. I feel better though with daily stuff like grocery store trips and standing in line. same with some household chores that always used to really spike symptoms.

anyways. being gaslit by doctors and passing out on a skytrain at 16 -> diagnosed, properly medicated and eating healthily pipeline only took 12 years and a dog i would die for 🤝 lets go me

[journey-to-the-attic]

hello!! it’s me again!! happy (lateish) birthday to the bestest girl ever, miss ik!!!! so of course ive come here to ask ik centric questions

since jtta has not ended yet, you totally dont have to answer this but what would ik’s reaction be when returning home after the whole year? would she actually manage to get on buzzfeed unsolved after mysteriously disappearing in the middle of class? how did everyone react to that….

young adult/adult ik time! now as an adult, how does ik feel about having pacts with the seven most powerful demons in the devildom? big accomplishment, kid

also, what does older ik feel about her future?? does she want to go to college, or does she have any future jobs she wants to work?

lets ignore the seasons past season 1 of obey me for a second …. now in the human world, i would assume the brothers and the other students would come to visit ik. how do you think they would do in the human world and how do you think others (humans, ik’s friends, family etc…) would react to them?

sorry for such a long ask ! i love to learn more about ik shes great :) you’re doing such an amazing job writing jtta and im absolutely still obsessed after what?? 2 years now?? time is crazy… im about to graduate from highschool and i remember starting to read this fic when I was a year or two older than ik… wow…

i hope you’ve been having great weeks lately! if not, it’ll definitely get better! keep your head up!

(apologies if this ask gets sent more than once.. my tumblr has been glitching like crazy lately)

-🐳

hhh thank you!!! it's crazy to me that jtta has that staying power, i'm so glad you've enjoyed it!!

as for your questions about ik - i'll answer the ones that i'm not planning to go into more depth on later ^^

ik's feelings on returning home i'll leave for later - but in terms of her disappearance, it's been kept quiet to prevent panic, and later diavolo'd pull some strings to keep it that way. though the classmates who were there in the class she disappeared in will continue to insist it happened, it's kind of treated as a weird mass hallucination

ik actually won't be going back to her old school, because the logistics (and also everything she's missed) would make it a mess, but some of her old classmates will notice her suddenly appearing around town again - with a weird assortment of really tall dudes - and while some attempt to ask her about what the HELL happened, she's always super evasive about it... though there's probably at least one classmate who's gone super detective about it

adult ik has to stop herself from adding 'made pacts with 7 uber powerful demons at the tender age of 14-15 and if you don't hire me they'll all be mad at you' to her CV. she entertains herself by imagining what her host of brothers would do if she summoned them on this rude guy at the co-op

in terms of her future... ik's just kind of winging it, but i can imagine her going to uni to study something to do with animals - maybe she'd be a herpetologist, maybe an ornithologist... or maybe just biology in general. diavolo likes to joke that she's an honorary teacher of creature studies at the rad (prof elderflower is so proud)

i'll leave the specifics of her friends visiting her for a future post-jtta bonus, but i reckon most of ik's friends just assume she has a really weird extended family. there's probably also at least a few people around town who have crushes on one of the guys. meanwhile, luke can get away with putting on normal clothes and just hanging out with ik whenever (lucky guy!)

zhao (ik's dad) and aunt lisa's reactions to ik's new found family will be explored later! but for now i will say that zhao definitely appreciates them (still terrified of them though), while aunt lisa likes half of them and would hit the rest of them with a broomstick if given the chance

[aria-ashryver]

hey aria how u holding up ? 🙏🏼🩷

hiya love! ty ty for asking, im good! every single doctor i have seen has told me im handling things really well

(highkey taking this as permission to ramble about having cancer, so more under the jump haha)

im happy but ✨tired✨ though holy shit, look at this

between the blood tests, IV lines, and hormone injections for fertility treatments, ive had 28 injections so far this month.

twenty eight.

so. far. 😑

ngl my arms are a mess, even my bruises have bruises lmao

But! Someone took a scan of my entire skeleton last week so that was pretty metal.

I have a surgery tomorrow (for embryo freezing), and few more appointments still to go (MRIs and stuff), but im starting chemo suuuuper soon!! Can't fucking wait to be the weird egg sitting in the chemo ward for hours at a time writing vampire smut on their janky laptop 💪

Also, also!! my oncologist is the FUNKIEST LITTLE DUDE i adore him 🥹 he's really doing everything he can to make sure i am getting the best possible treatment.

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

So, I have a super aggressive cancer type, right? Caesar is growing rapidly like the little attention-seeking slut he is, but the cool thing about HER2 positive type cancers is they are also super responsive to treatment, and there have been a lot of recent drug trials to specifically target the HER2 receptor - so i have a really good chance of making a complete recovery.

One such drug has recently finished trials, and is available in NZ at the moment, but only privately. It isn't publicly funded yet - if i wanted it, i'd be paying several thousand $$ per chemo cycle (and given that i just graduated uni and im having almost 20 cycles of chemo, my answer to "are you interested?" was "HAHAHAHAHA no im broke but thanks.")

WELL. My fucking oncologist comes busting into the room like the silly little lad he is going "HA! I THOUGHT OF A LOOPHOLE!!!" and he goes on to tell me about a grey area in the wording. This drug isn't available for free *unless* the patient's tumor is inoperable. And Caesar, needy bitch that he is, is a fucking massive tumor already. At this point in time, *technically*, the surgeons couldn't safely operate on me and guarantee they'd removed all my cancer. (Like, chemo will shrink Caesars lame ass so i can have surgery eventually, but right now, major surgery is a no go)

So my doctor is going to try and pull a sneaky little manoeuver he likes to call "we gonna try bend the rules a little. Not break, just bend. Shh." 🙊😈

(his exact words lmao)

So, no promises, but he's gonna try get a fancy schmancy brand-new drug included in my chemo treatment.

I know chemo is gonna suck ass, but im looking forward to getting started. And my mama is flying up here soon 😊 and all my doctors are really nice. And my neighbours cat visited me today for cuddles. And I watched the sunrise this morning and it was pretty.

I have so much to live for, you know? And so much to be happy about. This ask ran the fuck away from me lmao, but its nice to sit back and think about things.

I'm tired. But I'm happy 🌻

[past-j]

mid november weight loss thoughts!

No progress on the scale yet this month, but plenty of progress reinforcing the positive habits that will keep me happy and healthy for a long time.

I spent the first week of november at my bfs house with no access to a scale and not much control over what I ate. All i could do was load up on veggies and portion control. In the past i’d usually gain a little weight at his place (munchies, good food, bigger portions, and keeping up w the boys) but this time around I maintained.

Went home for like a day, then went BACK to his house for the veterans day weekend to celebrate our 4 year anni. On saturday, we ate a DELICIOUS meal at an all-you-can-eat brazilian steakhouse. Had desserts. Honestly went pretty hard with the food but didn’t overcorrect the next day. And I’ve settled right back to where I ended october, so perfect maintenance for the past 2 weeks. Fine with me!

So some wins there were…

1) I’m pretty good at intuitively eating at maintenance (at my current weight)!

2) I made a lot of small healthy decisions that I get to continue making forevermore.

3) I didn’t let the disordered thoughts mess up the positive headspace I’ve been able to keep through this all. No overcorrecting, just getting back to where I was.

So on that note, I’m just picking the weight loss up right where I left off. I’m at 199 lbs so far. :-) was originally aiming for 195 in november, but that’s feeling too quick now. So.

as of yesterday, there are 50 days until Jan 1! So i’m spending the next 50 days focused on weighing in at 195 (or lower)! That’ll be a 10+ lb weight loss overall, which I will be so happy to celebrate on NYE.

The small goals stack up.

I think it’s helpful to have a super attainable short term weight loss goal. I don’t want to set a final goal weight, but I can commit to losing a few lbs at a time. That’s how I got below 200, and that’s how I’ll get to 195. I’m taking things one increment at a time and planning to take a break when I’d have to take drastic measures to continue. No clue when that’ll be, but I’m still going strong.

I’m going to prioritize spending weekdays at home where I have more control over my food while still enjoying social dining out.

Also prioritizing waking up early so I can end work before the sun sets and go for my daily walk. My walks are the highlight of my day. I love seeing familiar faces out around my neighborhood. It doesn’t take any discipline at all to go out for an hour every day. I think this is going to be a big pillar of lifelong health. When exercise is just a part of my routine, it’s so easy to prioritize. I actively love it. Plus ive been speed walking bc its fucking CHILLY! Yay cardio!

Ive also been reallyyyy craving running again. I used to run a lot btwn 2016-2020 but stopped after becoming depressed during COVID. Then I gained weight and every time I’ve wanted to return to it, my body doesn’t adjust well and I have a bit of pain. That’s given me more motivation to keep up the weight loss. Physical fitness is so important and I need to be able to run. We are MEANT to run. I’ll try again when I’m closer to 190. :-) until then I get to strength train and build up to that goal.

Okay i think thats enough of a brain dump!! Thank u for reading!

[thisisegregiouuuus]

bro 😻

its actually so insane how i used to be so obsessed w the shining. like looking back on all that i was litereally going crazy--and like my interests/phases only last like a week or so but damn that one alsted like 2 months or smth, i thought it would never end so i was kinda surprise when i watched it for like the 5th time or something and i went 'damn...this is getting kinda old'

i genuinely felt sad tho. it always feels kinda sad falling out of a phase/interest kinda thing, especially one youve liked for a while. like with the shining its fine bc i know i still like it but it was just a crazy 2 month-phase, now i still like it but like, in a normal, non-crazed kinda way lmao, like im not silently talking to myself in my head abt the shining and begging for someone, anyone to talk to me abt the shining, i was legit on the brink of madness, i couldt contain myself thats how much i loved it lmao

anyway. for now its not compeltley lost, i still do like it, but idk, the last time i watched it i could jsut tell i wasnt as interested as the previous times, and thats when i was like 'damn it, this is it ig' and it was super sad. it felt like a big loss, but then again im happy i got out of it, like i said. maybe it was for the better! now i gotta find smth else to occupy me and my attention for the next couple of weeks or ill go insane!!!

this whole the shining phase ended like 2 or 3 months ago or smth. now im jsut mucking around. ive been watching th eoffice over and over again bc yeah i do love it but liek theres literally nothing else to occupy my attention with. and i feel kinda bad saying that, like i feel stupid saying i need smth to constantly be keeping my attention or like keeping me entertained, but like otherwise i just feel like i have no meaning or purpose or anything to keep me going, and i need smth! im not depressed or anything tho i swear 🙏

anyway I LOVE THE CATCHER IN THE RYE!!!! in history today my favourite book of all time was like very briefly mentioned and i wanted to explode when i saw it, i so badly wanted to mention it but there was no way id do it in front of anyone so yeah. holden caulfield is fr me, or he was most like year last year when i was like so alone at school and hated everybody. i still dont like most people but its not as bad as it used to be

anyway i feel really stupid writing this whole thing, idkw, but yeah, for now idk what ill do. i am going in an out of different writing projects/little stories that ive made up but i can never commit to just one thing. i am going back to my main project tho, and im really happy for once because im just writing. im not worrying about what other people might think (even tho i literally dont show it to anyone i legit just write for myself i jsut get rlly stupid sometimes,) im honestly just having fun and writing what i like, and i think thats what writings all about. its not about proving yourself to anyone or trying to impress anyone, or trying to make yourself seem all big and idk intellectual and all smartsy fartsy and stuff. its litereally just to express yourself and have fun and put all your amazing ideas down onto paper, i love writing so much, especially when i dont convince myself that my writing is shit and tell myself that it's not good enough and if people were to see it they wouldnt be as impressed as i want them to be

but anyways, thats all! its been a while since ive been on here so yeah. i know no one relaly sees these but theyre still fun to write. i just like expressing myself, i feel like im honestly kind of better off if no one sees these. like it would be nice to have like a tiny little community or some friends on here or smth since tbh even tho ive been on here for like a year and a half i still dont rlly fully understand how this app works </3 im just here for fun! so anyway

thats all folks! ski you later everybody! 😼

(sidenote, yes ik i dont know how to spell 'literally' i keep messing it up😻)

[stardust-static]

Hey so weeks ago (it's been a month) I was going to the beach with my family. One of my toe nails nearly broke off like all the way so I couldn't do my toes, and I knew my sister and my mom were going to make fun of my messed up looking toes. So I found this girl who does acrylic toe nails. Now let me say I hate going to nail salons because I don't know how to act. I forget all practicality and let them do whatever they want usually. All the sparkles. All the mark ups. All the jewels. I want it all. I want them to like me. So yeah.. I don't go get my nails done usually because I leave with something totally impractical to my lifestyle, and I'm a picker and usually can't wait to rip them off after a couple of days, but yeah... back to my toes. Everything started off fine. The length was good. The color was normal. Then she was like "do you want a charm? What kind would you like?" And I go "well I like butterflies.. and I like sparkles" and she's like "oh Ive got the perfect one!" And she pulls out this giant butterfly gem. I'm immediately like "Oooh pretty! But won't that get caught on thing's?" And she's like "not if you're careful". So I get it, and I have been taken out so many times by those things. They get caught on the couch covers and on our bedroom blanket. My toe gets caught on something almost everyday and I fall. I've also scratched myself with them and Bailey. They're super sharp apparently.. They're terribly inconvenient, and I don't know what the hell kind of glue she used, but those bitches are on there! They will not budge, and now I'm like "how am I going to take off these acrylic toe nails?" That shits going to hurt. I'm certainly not going back to get them redone. But yeah... This was one of my many stupid ideas. The nails and charms have shown no sign of coming off any time soon.

This was the day she did them. She took so many pictures and videos of my toes from different angles. I'm convinced she sells these pictures. Honestly... Good for her. I hope my butterfly toes made her money.

*** it's one week later. I ripped them off by shoving my cuticle tool under them. My aunt grossed me out when I went to the spa with her. She said a lot of times acrylic toe nails grow fungus under them and that they can be very unsanitary. I read about it and it says only if you get them done over and over and never let your toes breathe, but still it was enough for me to tear them off. Are my actual toe nails all messed up now in the beginning of open toe shoe season? Yeah... Yeah they are. I'm not sure what to do about that just yet. It's just like when you get acrylic on your fingers and you take it off. You fingernails are all thin and torn up and dry. I'm going to buff them and put some oil on them and let them be for about two weeks before I go get (A NORMAL) pedicure I'm just happy to have those things off and yeah I'm never doing that again. 👍

[ne0nlightzz]

CW: oddly aggressive self-directed criticism cuz im a dumbass with temper issues and lack of responsibility regarding my writing? also just a ranty rant cuz im kinda stressed out over random shitz- idk if this needs cw but here we go- also does this count as a progress update? again i dunno-

so i should be writing or at least working on requests- but after writing a whole chapter 5 of DFTS [the creepypasta x ftm!reader ive been writing] to the point that only touch ups, editing and double checking for major grammar/spelling errors was needed but then deciding i didn't like how it was written and felt it was a bit to cliché i went and deleted nearly the whole chapter [when it wasn't exactly that bad nor did it mess with/alter the plot that much and was fine since its just a filler chapter anyway] and decided to basically start from scratch.

normally this isn't that big of a deal, ive done it plenty of times with this story because not only do i want others to like it and enjoy the story, i also want to personally like it and enjoy writing the story, so again not really that big of a deal right? yeah that would be if i didn't procrastinate and put it off for like FOUR+ FREAKIN MONTHS- ive been working on that part little by little for like over four months because i went through a writer's block n health issues and family issues and setbacks cuz my life is just a total shitshow but i just deleted four+ months of on and off work cuz i didn't like it- AND IM SUPPOSED TO POST MONTHLY- and ykw i don't have time for a dumb lil personal dislike of a mostly decent FILLER CHAPTER- [not even a super important chapter!!] cuz i have school shit to do and requests to write and a deadline for the next part of another story ive been writing [that i have to get written, edited and posted before october cuz once its october it'll be a year since i update and whenever i update a year later i always lose hope for the story-].

i lost where i was going with this rant but im highly considering closing requests until i can get what is in my inbox written and posted along with at least one of my other works updated- i dunno i might just go try to figure out how to scene kid/emo-fy my furby and see if thats less stressful- [i say as i got mad paint a shelf last week- even simple projects are driving me insane and aren't going well- n imma stop ranting now cuz omfg why did i type so much- ALSO REQS ARENT ACTUALLY CLOSED- IF I CLOSE REQS I WILL MAKE THAT ITS OWN POST-]

[btw nothing negative or anything towards anyone whos sent reqs, i love getting them n they make me happy and usually help motivate me! im just stressed with myself for procrastinating so much with writing and pushing it all off for so long and also for not trying to push through that writers block sooner- also just with school cuz i skipped out over the summer which was supposed to be used as time for me to catch up and also just stressed and angry as my shitshow of a life for never calming down or giving me or my family a break, like i haven't solidly worked on a hobby and enjoyed it in a while- mk imma stop the dumb rant again cuz i need to stop and go calm the hell down and take my focus off of writing n all for a lil bit-]