#not super happy with it but ive been messing with it for weeks now so have it

[savethepinecones]

once again feeling guilty for setting boundaries yippee

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA For taking down my cousin's pride flag?

So my cousin is the most no-nonsense person Ive ever met. He (M28) is very serious, and takes everything really really seriously, but he's still a joy to be around. He's super smart, and the whole family adores him, he's kind of the golden child in our family, though theres zero resentment from the rest of us.

My whole life, he's been this pillar of the "perfect kid" and although he's nice, since he's moved away, no one has been to his apartment or really seen him outside of family celebrations, dinners, weddings, etc.

Last week, he was in a car accident. (another car T boned him) and he was put in an induced coma in the hospital. He's coming out of it now, expected to make a full recovery, but is still expected to stay at the hospital for a while. My aunt, his mother (F72) asked me and other cousins to go over to his house and collect items he might need. Clothes, books, etc. She took the keys out of his clothes and have them to us, all while my cousin was still out of it.

When we got there, I opened the door to a MASSIVE Gay leather pride flag.

First thing on the wall. When we went into the apartment there was BDSM equipment, gay pride decorations everywhere, and other graphic things that made it clear my cousin is, A, gay, and B, firmly in the kink community. I don't want to get too much into it, but there were certain Polaroid pictures stapled to the bathroom wall that left little doubt.

All of us were needless to say, a little horrified.

To be clear, I am queer, and a MAJORITY of our cousins are as well. None of us had any inclination he is gay, and its clear no one else in the family knows. This was the first time anyone had been in his apartment.

We took a vote, and as the oldest one there I made the decision to hide everything. I took the flag down, I (carefully) put as much of the items that were an indication away in a box and hid them. It was a pretty extensive clean out, but I moved books and other things around on the walls to make it look a little less bare. An hour after that more family showed up at the apartment to help, people like our grandmother, more aunts and uncles and my parents, all of them cleaning or doing dishes or putting food in the fridge to help my cousin's recovery.

A few of the cousins that were there when we first found the stuff have said that I shouldnt have messed with any of it, that the pride flag was on the wall BECAUSE my cousin was happy about his identity. I argued that my cousin hadn't told any of us, isn't out to the family as far as Im aware, and I wanted to protect him in case he wasn't ready.

Further clarification, no one in the family is OUTWARDLY homophobic, but I'm still not out to a majority of my family either, and if i was in my cousin's place, Id want someone to hide my stuff for me.

My cousin still hasn't been released from the hospital, and I haven't found time alone with him to tell him that I moved some stuff in his apartment. When I handed back his keys he looked a little panicked, and I tried to look reassuring.

Im having second thoughts about whether what I did was good, or if I'm projecting my own fear about coming out to family on him. Am I the asshole?

[crazylittlejester]

Unsure if you’ve answers this already, but what’s the rest of the chain doing in your modern au?

I don’t think ive ever really talked a lot about it like, in depth, but im more than happy to because i love my au and my silly guys :)

my bad for spelling errors i am Stupid 💔

Time: (46) Lives on the ranch with Malon. He worked full time as a mechanic before he met and married Malon, and he still works at the same place just SIGNIFICANTLY less hours because he’s also doing work on the ranch. He also plays guitar as a hobby, he played more when he was younger but Twilight’s BIGGEST flex in middle and early high school was that his dad owns some fuckass guitars

Hyrule: (20) He really really really likes rocks and being outside so he’s going into geology because he wanted to dig in the dirt and find special rocks. Sometimes Twi will text him like “bro where are you?” and if he even has service Hyrule will just send him a pic in the literal middle of fucking nowhere. Hyrule lives with Legend in the same apartment as Wars, Twi, and Sky, EXACTLY one floor below them

Legend: (20) Political science major, because he was running out of time and had to pick something. He’s not super sure what he wants to do, he has like, no plans, he didn’t think he’d be alive this long and have to DO something with his life. He works at the same little coffee shop as Sky, and those two are good friends. Every time Wars is being too loud above him (jumping, screaming, dancing) he will get up on his table and smack the ceiling and yell, or he’ll leave him angry voicemails. He left the dorms because he couldn’t handle being in the room next to Wars’s dramatic ass, he was DEVASTATED to discover all he did was move in underneath him

Wild: (19) He’s doing fashion/arts and he really really likes photography. He’s a retired skater (same as Wars) and on good days he can move around alright with minimal pain, but it’s not uncommon for him to use a mobility aid. He’s very good friends with Wars and sometimes they’ll fuck around at the rink together, other times when he has five minutes to spare Wars will drive him around and they’ll go to parks and just sit. They’re each other’s oldest friend and they both left a sport that was literally their entire world and its been hard to adjust to life without competitions but they’ve got each other. Wars makes a very serious effort to meet up with Wild 2-3 times a week

Four: (19) He’s a blacksmith, like his grandpa, but he got roped into this mess of a friend group somehow anyways. He finds most of them to be far too loud or dramatic, but they’re his best friends and he’s stuck with em

Wind: (16) He’s still in high school, but he does band and soccer. Wars took him skating ONCE because he used to babysit him, and Wind kinda got obsessed with the idea of what he calls ‘knife shoes’. Of ALL the people Wars has taken to the rink with him (who have no prior experience skating), Wind is the best. He’d be able to fuck around and play ice hockey with Wars, he’d get his ass beat if he went against an actual hockey player, but he can play a simple friendly game with Wars if Wars agrees to it

and then for anyone unfamiliar with the au!!:

Wars: (20/21; depends on what time of year I write the au in, because everything is just about their last year of undergrad and he’s a December birthday) He’s a retired figure skater who holds a world record and several gold medals, and he won the hyrule equivalent of the olympics at 18. He’s a dance major now, he’s been doing ballet since he was 3 and he never quit it, and he’s gone pretty much all day during the week because he goes skating for two hours before class, his last class ends at 5:30, and then if he’s actively in a show rehearsal ends at 10. Weekends are his only time to breathe but he’ll still have rehearsal from 1-6 and will hit the rink from like 10-11 unless Sky and Twi get on their literal hands and knees and BEG him not to because they miss him and “when will my husband return from the fucking war??”

Twilight: (21/22; his birthday is March) Bio/chem major with the intent to become a vet for ranch animals. He LOVES animals so so so so much, and he has a rather bad habit of bringing home sat wet creatures to his adoptive parents/aunt&uncle Time and Malon who just need a little extra love, including but not limited to: Several dogs, several cats, an injured bird, Warriors, a baby deer. Most of these things get taken care of and then released or Time helps them get adopted, and others get kept (at LEAST four dogs (including a very fluffy one named Wolfie), Wars, and two cats)

Sky: (21) English literature major who wants to become a teacher because he had an awful time as a disabled kid in school and he was made to feel stupid and he NEVER wants a kid to have that experience. It broke his heart to realize Wars had that experience too and still thinks he’s stupid, but Sky is determined to be the kind of english teacher you remember DECADES after you leave grade school because they were so important and changed your life. His gf Sun also loves english literature, and they go on dates to the library together and it’s just disgustingly sweet. He’s living out his best coffee shop romance au life because he does in fact work at a coffee shop and he did in fact fall in love with the girl who came in and ordered mint tea at 4 pm on the dot every day he just so happened to be working

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

[agirlandherquill]

the troublesome typewriter

introducing rust bucket!

she’s an olympia sm2, and also my summer project, i got her mid-july and ive been working on her for about three hours nearly every day ever since

now when i got her, she was a mess, and i mean a mess - what im assuming is decades worth of grime, dust, rust, and i dread to think what else came off of her - hot soapy water was a life saver in terms of cleaning, then pure white vinegar (not the distilled kind, ive been using the elbow grease brand since that’s all i could find in my local supermarket) to get rid of the rust,

waging a war with rust, im fairly certain its surface rust, has been a nightmare - ive removed as much as i can, it takes a long time with pure white vinegar since its not the strongest thing in the world but since it doesn’t seem to harm the machine itself i don’t mind, its a bit of a trade off rather than risking using harsher chemicals, but of course rust adds character (is that my way of excusing the little bits of rust here and there that i can’t quite get off? yes, yes it is) so i decided to call her rust bucket,

she’s not completely good to go yet, she’s had a bit of an oil and a clean to free up the keys and the carriage because let me tell you, when i first got her, those did not want to move one bit,

then i had to spend a few hours tinkering with the drawband, working out how to adjust the tension and use a wire with a makeshift hook to thread it back to where it’s supposed to be and attach it to the carriage to make it move while typing - which before i sorted it out, it did not do, at all - and i finally managed to sort that issue today!

it’s around 85% working, perfectly fine writing a5 wise since that’s about halfway through the ruled scale, but going past halfway for a4 seems to require me pressing the shift button to give it a bit of a wiggle so to speak so that the carriage shifts on and i can type the next letter, so doing that between letters is the only slightly annoying part, but given the fact that it didn’t even move at all before i started working on it I’m more than happy with how it is,

all i have left to do is give her a final scrub, a bit more sanding down (might do that before the scrub im not too sure), then painting!

i know it’s not the usual stuff i post on writeblr, not at all, but i figured if i’m going to try and write on this thing when it’s all sorted out then it’s worth sharing,

and it’s also a way for me to remember that i actually made this decades old machine work again, and it’s the first time ive ever tried anything like that, so im super happy with how its gone so far!

and considering ive only spent about £20, including the machine itself then with supplies, it’s really going to pay off for future me and future writing (i hope!),

so hopefully in a couple of weeks i’ll be able to show you all rust bucket when she’s all finished!

[vex03]

fuck my gay chungus life.

kicking and screaming and crying trying to let go of something that should be left in my memories, but my grubby hands are welded to it. i just gotta tear the skin cleannn off. might lose a fingerprint or two in the process. might get some nasty hangnails. some burns. but the skin will grow back, right? so that i can gently hold something equally precious in the future? and let it flow through my fingers at time’s will, rather than instinctually grabbing onto it and destroying it in my grip?

i don’t fucking know man. had a moment today (yesterday? it’s 6 am, i slept through most of the afternoon and evening) when i realized that i am genuinely a shell of who i want to be. yeah there’s health shit to blame but like. dude. i’ve spent the past year in just….. delusion. not quirky girl delusion. like straight up convinced myself of something that wasn’t real and was living my life by that. and it’s ruined me i fear. not divulging details because this is public and dammit i like being vague, but i have too many regrets for someone at this age and… medical standing.

the second mri was today. that was cool. the shit they put in the iv hurt this time. that wasn’t cool. same mri tech lady helped prep me this time. she was cool. i have to wait a week for a report. WHICH IS ABSOLUTELY NOT FUCKING COOL. at least i figured out where they keep the imaging from their scans online, shit looks really cool. tried not to analyze it too much because hey what do i know, but that shit looks….. nawt good. super cool.

there’s way too much shit i’m sad or stressed or upset about right now. i just want to be happy. and also like maybe not have to be dealing with such high level health problems while my internal emotional jenga tower state has been rudely knocked over by somebody “accidentally” bumping the table with their hip lul

whaaaat a fucking mess

e

[disasterdrvid]

What are your top 10 video games?

Thank u @shift-shaping for the tag!

I'm tagging @localfruit @star--nymph @wardenrainwall @full---ofstarlight @perfectblve @sneklesbian @magic-space-games @notebooks-and-laptops and anyone else who wants/I may have forgot to tag <3

These aren't in any particular order tbh

Dragon Age: Origins

Genuinely this game has some of the best writing in the series and really wants players invested in their characters as character origins intersect with the main plot. Inquisition was my first DA game but Origins rewired my brain chemistry.

2. Pokemon Soul Silver

Not my first Pokemon game nor my most recent but it was the one that came at a pivotal moment in my life. Many weeks of coming home from middle school and ignoring my homework to run around in the game.

3. Stardew Valley

Absolute classic and one I consistently go back to. Sometimes I need to turn off my brain and yearn for the mines.

4. Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

I was never a Zelda person growing up, but I picked up BotW this year in time to play TotK. Oh my god, this game made me cry multiple times with it's lovingly-crafted story. I love the act of exploration in this game and it's encouragement to find multiple solutions to the same problem. Truly one of the best games of the last decade.

5. Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

This game is such a mess and I love her dearly for it. It's character creation and leveling system is one of my favorite in any game and I'm very glad traces of it exist in Starfield (I'm not playing but my brother is and there's a lot of Oblivion love in it).

6. Cult of the Lamb

A very fun gameplay loop and roguelike combat make this super fun to replay. I don't come here for in-depth story (I've compared it to Happy Tree Friends in that regard), but I love the cult creation and maintenance.

7. Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning

Underrated game of all time. It shows it age and there's elements of the story that don't work great but dear god I love it and I'm forever sad no one plays it. Lots of Irish folk inspiration, which I think would draw more people if they knew that was there.

8. Baldur's Gate 3

For context, I haven't actually been able to play but I've been consuming a lot of content for it so I know its up my alley. (My PC would explode bc I don't have the specs and it's not coming to Xbox for a bit 😭) But I love the characters and the DnD aspect so much.

9. Mass Effect

I'm not huge on shooters but the first Mass Effect really drew me in with its story. Not a perfect game by any stretch. However, it still feels fresh and new even now.

10. Tetris

Finally, original Tetris. Love me some shapes. First game I ever played because my mom had an old school Gameboy from before I was born that she handed down to me as a kid. Sadly can't play it on the original hardware (I still have it and it still runs!) because the screen is dogshit and I can't see, but luckily there's more places to play it now.

[fruitybashir]

Aaaaaaaaaahh so first of all: i’m sorry for not leaving any comments earlier, i definitely should have and i’m sorry i didn’t, because i love love love your fic and the last chapter and every chapter before and your writing and i don’t know what i’m supposed to do on sundays now that it’s over ajdkflckdhsb (well i guess it’s time for another reread hehe).

okay so basically i’m an emotional mess rn and have no idea what to write, i just wanted to let you know how much i love and appreciate your work <33333 so. yeah. thank you so so much for sharing this wonderful story and brightening up my sundays (and saturdays) ever since february (i think that’s when i first discovered your fic and i’m so happy i did and WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S BEEN MONTHS NOW i’m sobbing). now i’m just going to stare into space and smile like an idiot for a while (after first screaming into my pillow and kicking my feet because ajdbfhakdfusjsl i just love this thank you, this is the end of my ted talk) 💕💕💕💕

omg first of all: super okay that youre not leaving comments like obv i love love looove getting them bc they make me super happy, but also i get it, i also struggle with finding the right words to comment on the fics i love 😩

and thank you thank you thank youuuuuu <33333 and even though posting a chapter every week has been quite stressful to me lately, i will still super miss saturdays and sundays 🥺💔

like all the snippet posting and spoilers and stuff .... ill miss weekends with you guys 🫶🏻

but i promise there will be more haha and maybe for the epilogues and bonus chapters and whatever else follows i can still do some snippets and spoilers ...? maybe once ive finished something ill do a little three day countdown of snippet - spoilers - update sunday

or something like that. idk hahaha

[despite-everything]

just going to vent a little bit. i've tried not to post as much negative stuff as of late - i've really been trying hard to focus on the good stuff in my life but sometimes its so fucking hard. i've been feeling painfully unhappy for weeks now, but i've been trying to do things to make life feel worth living, including taking a ceramics class again so i can have access to a kiln. this evening, though, when i got in my car to drive to the studio, i saw my tire pressure light start flashing and it completely made me break down. i just filled my tires 2 days ago and had them all at the perfect pressure, so that means either one of my tires has a leak or my sensor is messed up. either way, it's super fucking inconvenient and i promptly burst into tears. i couldn't even go to my ceramics class because i knew that having to put on a happy face and chit-chat with these little old ladies in class would completely crush me, but also because i don't fucking trust myself and live near mountains and have a bad habit of nearly driving myself off cliffs when i'm unhappy. i haven't gone over the edge yet. but i'm worried i will in the future and i'm kinda trying to not actively kill myself. but there's some other shit going on surrounding my partners and i know i need to talk to them about some stuff but i dont want to and im so sad and unhappy and i never fucking get to see them so every time i do i just try to enjoy the moment but its making things worse and i know that. i know. and i know things arent going to get better until i say something but it really fucking sucks. im just exhausted. ive spent the vast majority of my life depressed and anxious and more than half of my life i've been suicidal. it's hard to live like this.

[coloursofaparadox]

i am very very proud of my chronic fatigued ass slowly building up to an average of like 15-20k steps or like. 3x 1.5 hour hikes/dog walks a week over the last few months. part of my whole messed up body shtick (P.O.T.S.) means one of the best ways to reduce the impact is to exercise, with the fun catch 22 of it makes DOING that exercise feel much, much, much worse 🙃 but now that im finally on a combo of meds that more or less works for both physical and mental health, ive been really really enjoying getting outside and doing things with my dog, even despite feeling like shit a lot of the time lmao. over the last like....4 months? I've slowly built up from the bare minimum for him (slow half hour walk 3x a week + off leash time where I can more or less stand still) to now where we go on a medium intensity hike almost every week, plus 1.5hr walks to the local community centre park to weave our way through and find fun little obstacles to do agility on, and run around in the field.

and it hasnt been easy!! like the half hour walks at the beginning were really, really iffy a lot of the time on whether or not i felt like just sitting tf down and giving up at some point. but im finally where i need to be w/ mental health and meds where i can keep slowly improving and not do a massive burnout backslide, in very large part due to figuring out how to eat intuitively in a way that works for me for the fuckin first time in my life, and managing to actually eat consistently enough that i have energy throughout the day. unless i go a bit too hard and get hit with the Super Fun Post-Exertional Malaise, I think I've actually been consistent with this level of activity for a while now.

anyways i am proud of me even tho i did it mostly for Lucas's sake. he is so, so much happier and more content now that he's getting enough exercise and going out to do new things with me. on my end i am very very happy that i can walk that long and go on hikes and feel good after, even tho I'm not totally confident yet on how much it helps day-to-day with POTS stuff like standing too long, etc. I feel better though with daily stuff like grocery store trips and standing in line. same with some household chores that always used to really spike symptoms.

anyways. being gaslit by doctors and passing out on a skytrain at 16 -> diagnosed, properly medicated and eating healthily pipeline only took 12 years and a dog i would die for 🤝 lets go me

[ihaveneverbeentothemoon]

bro 😻

its actually so insane how i used to be so obsessed w the shining. like looking back on all that i was litereally going crazy--and like my interests/phases only last like a week or so but damn that one alsted like 2 months or smth, i thought it would never end so i was kinda surprise when i watched it for like the 5th time or something and i went 'damn...this is getting kinda old'

i genuinely felt sad tho. it always feels kinda sad falling out of a phase/interest kinda thing, especially one youve liked for a while. like with the shining its fine bc i know i still like it but it was just a crazy 2 month-phase, now i still like it but like, in a normal, non-crazed kinda way lmao, like im not silently talking to myself in my head abt the shining and begging for someone, anyone to talk to me abt the shining, i was legit on the brink of madness, i couldt contain myself thats how much i loved it lmao

anyway. for now its not compeltley lost, i still do like it, but idk, the last time i watched it i could jsut tell i wasnt as interested as the previous times, and thats when i was like 'damn it, this is it ig' and it was super sad. it felt like a big loss, but then again im happy i got out of it, like i said. maybe it was for the better! now i gotta find smth else to occupy me and my attention for the next couple of weeks or ill go insane!!!

this whole the shining phase ended like 2 or 3 months ago or smth. now im jsut mucking around. ive been watching th eoffice over and over again bc yeah i do love it but liek theres literally nothing else to occupy my attention with. and i feel kinda bad saying that, like i feel stupid saying i need smth to constantly be keeping my attention or like keeping me entertained, but like otherwise i just feel like i have no meaning or purpose or anything to keep me going, and i need smth! im not depressed or anything tho i swear 🙏

anyway I LOVE THE CATCHER IN THE RYE!!!! in history today my favourite book of all time was like very briefly mentioned and i wanted to explode when i saw it, i so badly wanted to mention it but there was no way id do it in front of anyone so yeah. holden caulfield is fr me, or he was most like year last year when i was like so alone at school and hated everybody. i still dont like most people but its not as bad as it used to be

anyway i feel really stupid writing this whole thing, idkw, but yeah, for now idk what ill do. i am going in an out of different writing projects/little stories that ive made up but i can never commit to just one thing. i am going back to my main project tho, and im really happy for once because im just writing. im not worrying about what other people might think (even tho i literally dont show it to anyone i legit just write for myself i jsut get rlly stupid sometimes,) im honestly just having fun and writing what i like, and i think thats what writings all about. its not about proving yourself to anyone or trying to impress anyone, or trying to make yourself seem all big and idk intellectual and all smartsy fartsy and stuff. its litereally just to express yourself and have fun and put all your amazing ideas down onto paper, i love writing so much, especially when i dont convince myself that my writing is shit and tell myself that it's not good enough and if people were to see it they wouldnt be as impressed as i want them to be

but anyways, thats all! its been a while since ive been on here so yeah. i know no one relaly sees these but theyre still fun to write. i just like expressing myself, i feel like im honestly kind of better off if no one sees these. like it would be nice to have like a tiny little community or some friends on here or smth since tbh even tho ive been on here for like a year and a half i still dont rlly fully understand how this app works </3 im just here for fun! so anyway

thats all folks! ski you later everybody! 😼

(sidenote, yes ik i dont know how to spell 'literally' i keep messing it up😻)

[ne0nlightzz]

CW: oddly aggressive self-directed criticism cuz im a dumbass with temper issues and lack of responsibility regarding my writing? also just a ranty rant cuz im kinda stressed out over random shitz- idk if this needs cw but here we go- also does this count as a progress update? again i dunno-

so i should be writing or at least working on requests- but after writing a whole chapter 5 of DFTS [the creepypasta x ftm!reader ive been writing] to the point that only touch ups, editing and double checking for major grammar/spelling errors was needed but then deciding i didn't like how it was written and felt it was a bit to cliché i went and deleted nearly the whole chapter [when it wasn't exactly that bad nor did it mess with/alter the plot that much and was fine since its just a filler chapter anyway] and decided to basically start from scratch.

normally this isn't that big of a deal, ive done it plenty of times with this story because not only do i want others to like it and enjoy the story, i also want to personally like it and enjoy writing the story, so again not really that big of a deal right? yeah that would be if i didn't procrastinate and put it off for like FOUR+ FREAKIN MONTHS- ive been working on that part little by little for like over four months because i went through a writer's block n health issues and family issues and setbacks cuz my life is just a total shitshow but i just deleted four+ months of on and off work cuz i didn't like it- AND IM SUPPOSED TO POST MONTHLY- and ykw i don't have time for a dumb lil personal dislike of a mostly decent FILLER CHAPTER- [not even a super important chapter!!] cuz i have school shit to do and requests to write and a deadline for the next part of another story ive been writing [that i have to get written, edited and posted before october cuz once its october it'll be a year since i update and whenever i update a year later i always lose hope for the story-].

i lost where i was going with this rant but im highly considering closing requests until i can get what is in my inbox written and posted along with at least one of my other works updated- i dunno i might just go try to figure out how to scene kid/emo-fy my furby and see if thats less stressful- [i say as i got mad paint a shelf last week- even simple projects are driving me insane and aren't going well- n imma stop ranting now cuz omfg why did i type so much- ALSO REQS ARENT ACTUALLY CLOSED- IF I CLOSE REQS I WILL MAKE THAT ITS OWN POST-]

[btw nothing negative or anything towards anyone whos sent reqs, i love getting them n they make me happy and usually help motivate me! im just stressed with myself for procrastinating so much with writing and pushing it all off for so long and also for not trying to push through that writers block sooner- also just with school cuz i skipped out over the summer which was supposed to be used as time for me to catch up and also just stressed and angry as my shitshow of a life for never calming down or giving me or my family a break, like i haven't solidly worked on a hobby and enjoyed it in a while- mk imma stop the dumb rant again cuz i need to stop and go calm the hell down and take my focus off of writing n all for a lil bit-]

[w1tchcr4ftt]

Im going insane everything is going wrong this past week sucked super bad and I hate everything atm. Im so goddamn tired and according to everyone all as and 2 bs is failing cus how dare you have anything below a 90 and it makes me feel really stupid cus i try SO GODDAMN HARD only to be shot down for messing up im surviving purely off the fact that tomorrow is friday. Ive been having stress headaches all day and i got a panic attack earlier and my god i hate everything right now. I just wanna be able to do art and play games and be happy and stuff cus studying lessons i dont know isnt helpful. ive been so tired i just need a real break without stress i need summer i need literally everything to just go away so i can go back to normal without this STRESS

Sorry i just needed to vent cus im tired asf

[eventiderookery]

trajectory - out of order destcember day 7

Part of Zana hopes that no one’s home. That the door will stay shut and locked. That she’ll be left to go sleep another restless night on her ship. Her hand hovers above the midnight blue door, hesitation stalling her movements. 

She takes a deep breath in, then out, and knocks on the door. Three short raps that seem to echo in the dead silence of the Tower halls. 

For a single, silent moment she thinks maybe the door won’t open and the choice will be made for her. 

Then footsteps, and the door opens to a bleary-eyed Aunor. There are pillow wrinkles on her cheek, and the sight is familiar, achingly so, even as her face flashes through half a dozen different emotions before settling back into tired resignation. 

Aunor wipes a hand over her face and the moment is broken when she asks, “Why are you here?”

Why indeed. 

Because Zana’s tired of the blue-purple smudges under her eyes from not being able to sleep. Tired of the loneliness she’s found herself drowning in without Teben and Braga and the rest of them just an arms length away. Tired of the way her ears ring in the silence of her ship when she has nothing to keep her mind from wandering. Tired of marathoning Crucible matches because she doesn’t have ways to vent her emotions that aren’t violence.

Or maybe it’s some long forgotten trajectory that’s brought her back here. The orbit of a comet or a planet on the very edges of a star system, so long and elliptical you don’t notice the cycle until you’re back where you began. Maybe it was only a matter of time before she came back, nothing really ends after all.

“I didn’t know where else to go,” she says, the words barely having space to form on her lips. She’s so tired, even her bones are heavy.

Distantly she sees the way Aunor is taking note of everything that's changed about her. The burns. The scars. The weariness that only comes from seeing the worst people have to offer, and then sometimes having to be that person. The way it comes without the judgment she expects.

“Tell me to go and I’ll go,” she starts, “I shouldn’t have–” 

“No.” Aunor bites her cheek like she didn’t mean to let that slip out. She sighs again before adding, softer, “Come inside.”

Zana hopes that it’s still Aunor speak for, I don’t want you to leave. If it isn’t, well, Zana doesn’t know how much heart she still has left to break. “Are you sure…”

“Zana, if you didn’t want me to let you in, why did you knock on my door?”

“I– I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m here.” She’s much too close to tears as she tugs on her hair in frustration. It’s the culmination of everything she’s been swallowing down and ignoring since the disbanding rising back up within her. “I’m not the same person I was. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore.”

Aunor takes her wrist with careful fingers, pulling it away from her head. “Stop.” Forceful but not demanding. “Have whatever breakdown this is after some tea and a decent night of sleep.”

Zana just lets herself be drawn into the apartment. She wants to melt back into the familiarity of it all as her gaze skates over the cluttered desk, the still half finished weapons rack, the open door to the bedroom. Even the smell of it is comforting. She aches for the way she once fit right alongside all of it so strongly her ears ring with the wanting. 

She must zone out on the barstool because before she can think Aunor is pressing a warm mug into her limp hands, the scent of spice and warmth wafting up into her face. She barely manages a weak, “Thanks," before taking a long drink. It just barely scalds her mouth.

Aunor stares her down over the rim of her own mug, dark eyes hooded in the low light. She sighs again, deep and tired. “What happened to you, Zana?”

Death, unmaking, a long game that took a toll greater than we could have ever known. Knowledge that makes my ears bleed when I'm alone. Friendships founded amongst vipers and scorpions, that mean more than I expected and then I lost them. 

“I think you’re smart enough to know the answer.” It’s a cop out, they both know it, but she won’t be able to face herself if she has to put into words the tangled mess of the past dozen years. Everything she's done and witnessed. “Please don't make me say it.”

Aunor is quiet for a long while. “I thought they killed you, and that was why you never came back.” 

“In a way I did die. The person I was when I left, I had to kill her for what was to come next. I remade myself into something stronger, wiser, bearing a new name.” Crawling rot slithers through her head, taunting. She shuts her eyes against it, wondering just briefly if her thoughts will ever be truly her own again. “But I’m not that, not anymore. I don’t–” she falters, claws catching in her throat, “I don’t know who I am. I have nothing left Aunor.”

“What did I say about the existential breakdown?” Aunor asks plainly. A reminder that this particular problem of hers is back-burnered until at least the morning. 

“I know, I know.”  Zana wishes beyond measure that there was something stronger than tea in her cup for what she knows has to come next as she schools her thoughts back where she needs them. “I’m sorry, for everything. I shouldn’t have left the way I did, you deserved at least a scrap of explanation. And I’m sorry I can’t even give you one now that’s better than saying ‘I did what I had to.’ I understand if you–” 

“I know,” Aunor cuts in, face set in a worrying neutrality. “I know you wouldn’t have left if you didn’t have to, even if it hurt more than I ever thought it would.” 

Just a few simple words, like a striker punch to the chest, and everything Zana thought she would say, the countless apologies she had lined up on her tongue disappear like ash in the wind. “I never once stopped thinking about you, even when it cost me.” She trails an absent minded hand across the burn at her throat. “I wanted so badly to come back, but I had to stay. I had to see it through, if not for me, then for you.”

“You did what you had to do,” Aunor echoes, the lines of her mouth softening a fraction. “I understand the dedication, even if I don’t understand the reason.”

“So you’re not going to arrest me?” Zana tries for light-hearted but falls somewhere closer to breathless surprise. The mug heats up a few degrees in her grip.

Aunor levels her with a look the betrays nothing, “As far as I’m concerned you are still a Praxic Warlock who went missing while on a mission.”

An old analog clock ticks away quietly on the wall.

“Thank you.” For everything. “Traveler knows I don’t deserve it.”

Aunor places her mug down gently after a sip of tea, “Everyone deserves another chance, it all depends on whether or not they take it.”

Zana takes a breath. The words held between her teeth will either make or break this tentative thread between them. “What about us, can we try again?”

Aunor walks around the counter and takes her hand. Brown on blue. Fingers interlaced.

“I’m willing to try.” 

Zana pulls her into a hug with enough force that it almost tips them both over onto the floor, but if it had Zana doesn’t think she would even have it in her to care. Not with the way Aunor clings just as tightly, face buried in her shoulder. Not with the way her heart finally feels settled after months of upheaval. 

They stand there for an infinity of moments, a pair of stars aligned in orbit once again.

[journey-to-the-attic]

hello!! it’s me again!! happy (lateish) birthday to the bestest girl ever, miss ik!!!! so of course ive come here to ask ik centric questions

since jtta has not ended yet, you totally dont have to answer this but what would ik’s reaction be when returning home after the whole year? would she actually manage to get on buzzfeed unsolved after mysteriously disappearing in the middle of class? how did everyone react to that….

young adult/adult ik time! now as an adult, how does ik feel about having pacts with the seven most powerful demons in the devildom? big accomplishment, kid

also, what does older ik feel about her future?? does she want to go to college, or does she have any future jobs she wants to work?

lets ignore the seasons past season 1 of obey me for a second …. now in the human world, i would assume the brothers and the other students would come to visit ik. how do you think they would do in the human world and how do you think others (humans, ik’s friends, family etc…) would react to them?

sorry for such a long ask ! i love to learn more about ik shes great :) you’re doing such an amazing job writing jtta and im absolutely still obsessed after what?? 2 years now?? time is crazy… im about to graduate from highschool and i remember starting to read this fic when I was a year or two older than ik… wow…

i hope you’ve been having great weeks lately! if not, it’ll definitely get better! keep your head up!

(apologies if this ask gets sent more than once.. my tumblr has been glitching like crazy lately)

-🐳

hhh thank you!!! it's crazy to me that jtta has that staying power, i'm so glad you've enjoyed it!!

as for your questions about ik - i'll answer the ones that i'm not planning to go into more depth on later ^^

ik's feelings on returning home i'll leave for later - but in terms of her disappearance, it's been kept quiet to prevent panic, and later diavolo'd pull some strings to keep it that way. though the classmates who were there in the class she disappeared in will continue to insist it happened, it's kind of treated as a weird mass hallucination

ik actually won't be going back to her old school, because the logistics (and also everything she's missed) would make it a mess, but some of her old classmates will notice her suddenly appearing around town again - with a weird assortment of really tall dudes - and while some attempt to ask her about what the HELL happened, she's always super evasive about it... though there's probably at least one classmate who's gone super detective about it

adult ik has to stop herself from adding 'made pacts with 7 uber powerful demons at the tender age of 14-15 and if you don't hire me they'll all be mad at you' to her CV. she entertains herself by imagining what her host of brothers would do if she summoned them on this rude guy at the co-op

in terms of her future... ik's just kind of winging it, but i can imagine her going to uni to study something to do with animals - maybe she'd be a herpetologist, maybe an ornithologist... or maybe just biology in general. diavolo likes to joke that she's an honorary teacher of creature studies at the rad (prof elderflower is so proud)

i'll leave the specifics of her friends visiting her for a future post-jtta bonus, but i reckon most of ik's friends just assume she has a really weird extended family. there's probably also at least a few people around town who have crushes on one of the guys. meanwhile, luke can get away with putting on normal clothes and just hanging out with ik whenever (lucky guy!)

zhao (ik's dad) and aunt lisa's reactions to ik's new found family will be explored later! but for now i will say that zhao definitely appreciates them (still terrified of them though), while aunt lisa likes half of them and would hit the rest of them with a broomstick if given the chance

[atlabeth]

transferred part 17 - atla smau

part 16 | masterlist | part 18 

summary: trying to run from your past is hard, but falling for your brother’s roommate is even harder. little do you know he’s falling for you as well. 

a/n: ahahah a ??? im sorry?? that this took so long?? as you know ive been dying of school and exams and even though ive gotten a couple oneshots out and did my celebration i just have not had the energy to write a whole mf chapter. but it’s here ! after a month of waiting

wc: 4.8k she is a LONG ONE FOLKS prepare yourselves

warning(s): cursing, alcohol and getting drunk, toxic relationships, mentions of cheating, implied emotional abuse, y/n having a breakdown, just an overall mess 

-

“Katara, don’t pull so hard!” You exclaimed, reaching a hand up to touch your scalp. You had entrusted your sister with styling your hair for the party tonight, but only after insistent nagging on her part. She had invited — or forced, as you liked to call it — you over to their dorm to get ready for the party that night together and do all kinds of girl talk. You figured this was a trap to get you to talk about you and Zuko, but it’s not like you would deny an opportunity to hang out with some of your favorite girls. 

“Sorry,” she chuckled. “Just think of it as retribution for all the times that you pulled my hair like this when you did my braids.” 

You rolled your eyes good-naturedly and glanced over at Toph and Suki who had already gotten ready but still lounging around the dorm to hang out. “So.” 

“So?” Suki repeated. 

“So when are the questions going to start?” You asked with a small laugh. “I appreciate the invite over here to get ready, but I know you all just wanted to ask me about what’s going with Zuko. So ask away.”

“What happened during that car ride—”

“Has he said anything to you since the kiss—”

“What’s going on at the tea shop—”

“Woah, woah! One question at a time!” you interrupted as they all started going on at the same time. “First off, nothing happened during the car ride. We worked out some miscommunications, and we’re all good. Second — yes, we’ve talked since the kiss, but there’s been nothing groundbreaking. And third, the only thing going on at the tea shop is the tea that we’re serving.”

Toph groaned and shook her head. “Are you serious? That’s so boring!”

“You’re telling me that nothing has happened in the couple of weeks since the kiss? Like, are you sure you’re not in a secret relationship with him and just neglecting to tell us?” Katara asked.

“There’s nothing going on,” you insisted. “As much as I want something to go on, I… haven't’ really said anything either.”

“What?” Suki cried. “You are crazy for him, how have you not tried to make something out of this yet?!”

“I don’t know!” you shot back defensively. “I guess I’m just scared that everything will go wrong.”

“Look,” Suki began as she took a seat on the floor in front of you. “You are kind, funny, gorgeous as hell, and an all around amazing person — and Zuko has it just as bad for you as you do for him! So embrace all of that, get out there tonight, and make a move!”

It had been too long since you had gotten a pep talk from Suki, and it was strangely refreshing. You nodded and sat up. “You know, you’re right! I have just… I’ve been sitting around, waiting for him to make a move because I’m too scared of getting rejected. But I am a delight! I am a lovely person, and I am a delight. Besides, we’re both adults! Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do—”

“Which he does,” Toph interrupted, which earned her a joking glare.

“Even if he doesn’t like me the same way I do,” you repeated. “We’re still going to be friends. It’ll just be a couple awkward weeks, and then we’ll be back to normal.”

“That’s as close to the spirit as we’re gonna get!” Katara exclaimed as she gave you a high-five.

“It’s about time,” Toph joked as she hit you on the shoulder. “Now, are you gonna get ready or what?”

“Right,” you chuckled. “I did get this super cute dress a while ago that I haven’t gotten a chance to wear. I think it’ll be perfect for tonight.”

“What are you waiting for, girl?” Suki asked. “Show us!”

After showing off your dress, you had finished up the final touches of your makeup and gotten one last pep talk from all of your girls — you were feeling more confident than ever, and you were sure that tonight was the night you would tell Zuko how you felt.

-

Back at the apartment, the boys were going through a similar dilemma.

“Zuko, what are you so scared about?” Sokka was hanging upside down off of the couch, a move he must’ve picked up from his sister, as he questioned his friend.

“I don’t know, everything? She could reject me, she could start to hate me, I could ruin everything that we’ve built over the past few months— you know, it’s not even that bad, what we have right now! What’s the harm in just staying like this?”

“Zuko,” Aang groaned. “I get being cautious, but this is just too much! You’re letting your fears get in the way of you and Y/N being happy. You kissed her, right? And she kissed you back! I’m telling you, if you let her know how you feel tonight then everything will work out. Trust me!”

“Seriously, buddy — it’s just painful at this point. It’ll be kinda weird having one of my friends date my sister again, but somehow, you two being apart is worse. Just tell her already!”

“Okay!” Zuko exclaimed defensively. He finished doing his hair then ran his fingers through it, ruining his work completely. When Sokka gave him a weird look, he shrugged and smiled to himself a bit. “Y/N likes it this way.”

Sokka gestured at him in disbelief and shook his head. “This is exactly what I mean!”

“Okay!” he repeated. Zuko leaned against the kitchen island and nodded. “Okay, I’ll tell her how I feel tonight. After she’s gotten into the party a little, I’ll take her outside and I’ll tell her how I feel.”

“And then you’ll kiss and it’ll be happily ever after!” Aang crooned.

Sokka rolled off of the sofa and stood up, then picked up the car keys from the table. “Someone text the girls, because we’re leaving. I can’t deal with this anymore.”

“You’re gonna do great tonight, Zuko,” Aang reassured as he gave Zuko a pat on the back. “Just remember why you like her in the first place, and speak from the heart. She likes you, so as long as you’re you, things will go great.”

Zuko nodded and gave Aang a small smile. “Thanks. I hope you’re right.”

As the two of them followed Sokka out of the apartment, he took another deep breath and tried to psych himself up. He was sure that tonight was the night he would tell you how he felt.

-

The seven of you regrouped with each other where you would be spending the rest of the night — because a ton of students were expected to celebrate the end of the first semester, the party was being hosted in a warehouse that a couple of kids had rented out for the night. It was more extravagant than the first party you went to in every way — you could hear the music thumping from all the way down the street as you got out of the car.

“Do you think we beat them here?” Suki asked as she helped Toph out. Katara locked the car and looked around, shaking her head as she pointed down the street. Sokka, Aang, and Zuko were all walking up together, having parked a couple cars down.

“They beat us by a minute. Probably broke a hundred different traffic laws in the process.”

“You guys made it!” Aang exclaimed as he gave Katara a kiss on the cheek. “Sokka forced Zuko to let him drive here, said he’s too slow and that he wanted to beat you all.”

“Sounds like him,” Suki joked as she took Sokka’s hand. “You ready, Big Shot?”

“I’m always ready,” he grinned, earning a laugh from you and Katara. Your eyes fell on Zuko as he walked up and you smiled, already starting to feel your cheeks heating up.

“Wow, Y/N, you look…”

“Amazing?” you guessed coyly.

“Breathtaking,” he clarified, the beginnings of a smirk playing on his lips. You laughed and looped your arm through his, and the two of you began making your way towards the party.

The rest of the group shot each other looks that ranged from overjoyed to bewildered to confused. As they started to follow you, they realized that getting the two of you together might be easier than they thought.

-

It wasn’t hard to get into the spirit of the night once you got into the party. There had to be at least a couple hundred people there, but it didn’t take long for everyone to start breaking off into groups. Suki had roped you in karaoke while Aang had taken Zuko to meet some of his friends, giving Sokka, Katara, and Toph time to strategize before setting the plan in motion.

“Okay!” Katara shouted so she could be heard over all the noise. “I don’t think we’re actually gonna have to do that much tonight! Just.. keep him busy for a while and then give him an out, and we’ll do the same with Y/N!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know the whole plan. I made it up, remember?” Sokka wasn’t completely focused on the conversation at hand as his eyes darted around the scene, seemingly searching for something. His eyes suddenly lit up and he started to back away from their small group. “There he is! Sorry Katara, gotta go prove to a bunch of freshmen that they don’t know anything and I’m better than them. Aang can handle Zuko!” He grinned at her then ran off into the crowd before Katara could protest.

She sighed and turned to Toph. “Suki’s got Y/N occupied and Aang’s got Zuko, so it looks like it’s just you and me, Beifong. Whaddya wanna do?”

“You’re telling me you don’t want to see your sister embarrass herself with karaoke?” Toph asked.

Katara laughed and grabbed Toph’s hand as she started to lead them through the crowd. “You know what? That sounds perfect. After all the work we’ve done for her and Zuko, I think I deserve to laugh at her for a while.”

-

The first two hours of the party passed by quickly. You spent the first thirty minutes making a fool of yourself with Suki as you sang a couple classics on karaoke — though it was a bit humiliating, you had an amazing time. The second half of the hour went to the beer pong competition that Sokka’s friend Zhen had organized (they did end up winning, so you supposed his pride was well earned), and the next hour was dedicated to dancing, drinking, and letting loose. You had finished the first semester of your masters program, so you felt like you deserved it.

You had stolen away to an emptier corner to give yourself a breather as well as some alone time — you were enjoying yourself, but it was close to claustrophobic in the heat of it all. You were passing the time on your phone when you heard a familiar voice call your name. Your eyes immediately shot up as you tucked your phone into your purse, and you were met with your favorite pair of golden eyes.

“Hey,” Zuko breathed, taking a second to straighten his ruffled clothes. You couldn’t help the smile that played on your lips as you ran a hand through his hair to muss it up even further.

“Hey yourself,” you laughed. “What’s so important that you had to run all the way over here?”

“I have something I need to tell you. It actually is really important, but I think it’d go over better if we weren’t in the middle of all this chaos.”

You would be lying if you said that didn’t make your heart beat a little faster, and as you felt your cheeks heat up you realized that this was your chance. “Uh, yeah. Sure, totally— I actually have something I need to tell you, so that’s perfect!”

“Really?”

“Guess we’re just in tune.”

Zuko smiled as he took your hand and started to lead you through the crowd, but when you heard someone calling your name you froze. The blood in your veins turned to ice, and your grip on Zuko’s hand tightened. He shot you a questioning look but you didn’t even see it.

“No,” you muttered, barely legible. “No, not here.”

You almost didn’t want to turn around to confirm your suspicions. You could’ve ignored it, pretended like you didn’t hear it over the sounds of the party, but there was a voice nagging in your head that you couldn’t just ignore it, you had to find out if he was really, truly here — so you did.

You wanted nothing more to be wrong in that moment — honestly, you thought that you were hallucinating at first. You hadn’t had that much to drink, but maybe the alcohol combined with the sleep deprivation was making you see things. Unfortunately, it was real. You could never forget those eyes.

“Hahn,” you mumbled, the sight taking a moment to register. “Hahn, what the hell are you doing here?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m here to party, and I’m here to see you.” The grin on his face didn’t waver as he looked you up and down, choosing to ignore the blatant shock on your face.

“You are not here to see me,” you clarified coolly. “We’re not together anymore, and ex-boyfriends don’t make hour-long drives to see their ex-girlfriends, especially ex-girlfriends that they treated like trash.”

“I figured you’d be more happy to see me than this,” he huffed. “Ungrateful as usual.” Hahn seemed to finally notice Zuko and scoffed as he looked at him. “What, is he your new boyfriend? You really downgraded.”

“You have no right to talk to her like that—” Zuko stepped forward to say more but you held out your hand to stop him. You gave him a short nod and stepped forward yourself.

“Hahn, I’m going to ask you one more time.” You could feel your hands shaking, whether it was from rage or fear you didn’t know. Your voice was deadly calm, but it was taking all of your energy to stay that way. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Hahn laughed and crossed his arms. “You’re joking right?” His amusement was a notion that you didn’t share, and he cleared his throat uncomfortably before he continued. “You wouldn’t answer my texts, and you obviously still want me after the things you sent me. My brother had a game here and I came along to see him, so I figured I would pay you a visit as well. You never really officially broke up with me, y’know. Are you really going to let three years go down the drain because of one little incident?”

Now it was your turn to laugh — it was from pure disbelief rather than amusement, though. “Are you serious? Hahn, I left you! I walked out, I moved out, I transferred universities to get away from you! Are you really so dense that you still think you stand a chance based off of some drunk texts?”

“Woah, you think you’re giving me a chance? Y/N/N, this is my olive branch to you — I messed up, I know I did, but that doesn’t mean we can’t fix things up! I could have any girl I wanted back at Kyoshi, but I’m here because I want you — I love you, babe. You know I do.”

“You don’t get to call her ‘babe’,” Zuko snapped. “She doesn’t want you here, so why don’t you just save yourself some trouble and get out of here?”

Hahn snorted and shook his head. “Stay out of this, fireboy. Y/N’s a big girl, she can speak for herself.”

You looked around and saw that a modest crowd was forming around the three of you, and more than a few people were filming. If you didn’t want your relationship problems to become BSSU news, you had to defuse this as soon as possible.

“Listen,” you interrupted. “Zuko’s right, Hahn. It was a mistake to come here — if you’re as smart as you always say, then you would know that. Just.. go home.”

Hahn scoffed as if he couldn’t believe what you were saying. “No, you listen. I’m trying to do you a favor here, Y/N! I made one mistake, and apparently that was enough to ruin everything we had.”

“You know just as well as I do that it wasn’t one mistake!” you cried. “If you can really get any other girl you want, then do it! I mean, that wasn’t a problem for you during our relationship, so I don’t see why it’s a problem now. We’re not getting back together, so just stop!”

“It’s him, isn’t it?” he sneered as he gave Zuko another onceover. “He’s the reason you’re acting like this. I never thought that you would sink so low, but you’ve clearly gone soft. Come on, stop acting like a baby and we can talk this out alone.”

He started to reach for your hand but you pulled it back, and before you knew what you were doing, you had handed your drink to Zuko and your fist was flying right at Hahn’s face. It hurt like hell, but the pure satisfaction from seeing his shock as he recoiled was a painkiller on its own.

“How’s that for soft?” you spat as you rubbed your injured knuckles.

“You.. you bitch!” he yelled, staggering back a few feet as he put his hand over his nose in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “This is how you repay me after everything? You should be thankful I’m giving you another chance—” he started to reach for you again, but you slapped his hand away. You cast a glance back at Zuko and saw that he had been joined by Sokka and Katara, and knowing that they were with you made all the difference.

“I don’t want another chance!” you shouted. “You are the one that fucked up, you are the one that made my life hell, and you are not the one that gets to give out second chances! I gave you so many chances, and you messed up every single one! Hahn, I never want to see you again. And if you ever try something like this again, if you ever even try and talk to me again, I will do something so much worse. Now do the smart thing and get out!”

You gave him one hard shove to the chest then turned on your heel and ran. It was the coward’s move, you knew it was, but you couldn’t be there anymore. Tears blurred your vision as you pushed through the crowd to get to the back door, heaving shaky breaths once you finally made it outside. You could hear familiar voices yelling and felt the slightest tinge of joy knowing that your younger siblings were giving Hahn hell.

You leaned against the side of the building, pressing the heels of your hands against your forehead to try and stop yourself from having a full on breakdown. You started to count backwards from twenty in your head as your eyes scanned the area for something, anything, to ground you. It helped in the sense that you weren’t about to lose it right then and there, but you were still on the brink. You slid down the wall into a sitting position and hugged your knees to your chest, the tears finally falling.

This was your university, this was your night, this was for you to make new memories and end your first semester, but like everything else he had come in and ruined it. You had no idea how he even found you, how he knew you would even be here, but it scared you.

“Should’ve blocked you as soon as you… fucking asshole… can’t believe..” you mumbled incoherently as you pulled your phone out with shaky hands, blocking and deleting his number. You dropped your phone in your lap and then put your head in your hands, still trying to process everything that happened. You didn’t even look up when you heard someone coming outside, but somehow you immediately knew who it was.

“Hey, Y/N.. Are you.. okay?” Zuko’s voice was full of sympathy but also caution, as if you were a delicate flower you didn’t want to tear.

“Do I look okay, Zuko?” Your words came out much more aggressive than you wanted them to, and you bit your lip. You had always expected his kindness to be a double-edged sword, something he used just to get something from you, but it never was. Not even once. It made sense after what he told you, and it just made him an even better person in your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you sighed. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just.. not. Not in the slightest. Hahn was the last person I expected to see tonight.”

Zuko moved over and sat down against the wall with you then hovered his hand above yours, giving you a chance to pull away. When you didn’t move, he set his hand on yours, filling you with the comforting warmth that you missed.

“You don’t need to apologize. What he did was fucked up.” He cracked a small smile. “Punching him was pretty badass though.”

You wiped a tear away and let out a soft laugh. “It was about time I stood up for myself. Our whole relationship was built off of this sick power dynamic that he loved to wield over me. Things were fine for the first few months, of course. He had this douchebag reputation on campus, but I believed that I could change him, that I could be the one to make him settle down, and— and it felt like I had at first! He was the sweetest guy, and he always brought me things and took me out on dates and it was just- it was just a dream. But I should’ve known he was using me. He had never changed, he had just gotten better at hiding those parts of himself.”

“I had zero sense of self worth and he used that. Told me that if I broke up with him I would never find anyone better, always convincing me that I was the one in the wrong, that if I wasn’t so dramatic then we wouldn’t have all these arguments. And the worst thing about it? I believed him. I believed him every time.” Your voice cracked on your last sentence and you could feel yourself getting choked up again. You swallowed hard and tried your best to push your emotions back down. “I was so terrified that he was right, that I would end up alone if I broke up with him, that I stayed. And that was our relationship for the past three years — built off of fear and manipulation.”

“A lot of people wonder why I transferred here. Sure, I did it for my masters, but Kyoshi has a perfectly fine program. I had already established my life there, I had an apartment, lots of friends, and yeah, I was going to go through with it. I was going to get my masters back there, but I… I did it because of him. I left because of Hahn.”

“Y/N. What did he do?” There was a dangerous undertone to his words, and you placed your intertwined hands on his knee. You didn’t want him to do something he would regret, and more selfishly, you needed him here right now.

You closed your eyes and let the question hang in the air for a moment. You hadn’t told anyone the truth of how your relationship ended with Hahn, and this wasn’t how you had pictured telling Zuko. If you were being honest, you didn’t think you would ever tell him — but he deserved to know.

“He cheated.” You said the words so easily, so simply that you almost shocked yourself. It shocked Zuko too; you could see his eyes widen slightly from your peripherals.

“Yeah. He cheated on me. That’s how things ended. After everything I put into that relationship, everything I did for him, everything he took from me… I still wasn’t enough for him. I got home from class one day to find him in bed with another girl, and… that was it. Something inside me just snapped. That was my moment of clarity — no yelling, no crying, no… anything. I just left. A friend let me crash at her place, and that night I started the process of transferring here. I made a promise to myself that I would never let someone like Hahn in again, and… well, now we’re here.” You laughed humorlessly and wiped a tear from your eye.

It was like the breath had been stolen from Zuko’s chest. He had never fully understood why you were so reluctant to open up to people, but this explained it. You weren’t someone who gave out love freely, but you had to Hahn — and the way he had treated that love made him sick. He had ingrained in you the ideal that you couldn’t be loved, only tolerated, and that was why you had such a hard time accepting help from anyone. The thought alone made him want to find Hahn and get him back for everything he had done to you. The only thing stopping him was that he didn’t want to leave you alone.

“Y/N,” he muttered. “I had no idea. Katara and Sokka didn’t even know.. Why did you hold all of this in?”

“Because I was scared, Zuko! I got myself into this mess with a stupid boy that everyone had warned me about, so I felt like I had to get myself out. Even when things took a turn for the worse, I felt like I couldn’t involve anyone else because it was my fault. It was my fault for trusting someone like him, it was my fault for believing all of his lies, it was my fault for not being good enough. And even after everything he did to me, a part of me still missed him.” You let out a laugh that was a touch unhinged. “There’s something seriously wrong with me.”

“Y/N, look at me.” You tore your eyes up from the ground and at Zuko — his golden irises looked the same as the first time you met him and it was oddly comforting.

“There is nothing wrong with you. Okay? And I know it’s easier said than done, believe me, I know, but you don’t need to be scared. I understand why you were so hesitant to share what happened with Hahn, but you don’t need to be. I don’t know how much weight my words have, but I want you to know that you can always tell me what is happening with you. Whether it’s a life changing event or just what you did that morning, I’ll listen to you. You aren’t alone, Y/N, because I’m here for you. I always will be.”

Your eyes widened with surprise as you stared into his own. This was the most sincere you had ever seen Zuko, even more than the night he told you about his life. There was a nagging voice in the back of your head telling you to kiss him, feel that warmth again, forget about what had happened for just a moment.

But as the familiar prick of incoming tears returned, you knew you couldn’t. You were drunk, on the verge of a complete breakdown, and anything that happened between you tonight would be tainted with the memory of Hahn. So with a concentrated effort, you tore your eyes away from his and swallowed, your throat dry and scratchy from the screaming match you had gotten yourself into.

“I don’t think I can spend another minute here. I hate to ask, but.. can you take me home?” you asked quietly. “You might not be able to tell, but I’m not in a state to do anything right now.”

“Of course.” You gave his hand another squeeze to let him know that he hadn’t overstepped, and stood up. The two of you began the walk back to the car and Zuko let go of your hand, shifting so that he could instead wrap his arm around your back. You smiled softly and leaned your head against his shoulder, the gesture a welcome comfort.

“Thank you,” you whispered. He squeezed your shoulder softly in response, a silent notion that said everything he couldn’t.

Tonight had been a wreck, that much was certain. Your past had resurged in the most painful way possible, and you knew you wouldn’t be able to get through it alone.

But you weren’t alone this time. You had Zuko.

And with Zuko by your side… you knew you would be okay.

-

perm taglist: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin

transferred: @ourbestfriend-mishacollins @lil-lex1 @xxshad0wxb1rdxx @zuko-is-the-sun @akiris @irohs-teapot @thatarthistorynerd @charlenasaxen @minninugget @marvel-ousnesss @count-thotticus @what-ye-egg @furblrwurblr @thesstuff @mariachiii @ietss @dizzy-miss-lizzieeeeee @xbarrjallenx @tommy-braccoli @dreamsluvrr @floofybread @thelovelylolly @lin-biefong-is-my-life @tiffanyy-21 @sistheselenophile @theincredibledeadlyviper @bakugouswh0r3 @loganrwebb @mikaslilworld @matsunshine @iris-suoh @aizameow @h3llbun 

atla: @marianne1806