#not super happy w this piece but it’s whatever

[feyinvestigations]

I like to think that pony express has those like... sears photoshoot postcards for employees. Likely just to send to friends and family intermittently to give the impression of an ability to contact crew members. Honestly it probably gets garnished from their paycheque.

[reblogs are greatly appreciated!!]

[heartsforseo]

Straw hats x cat! reader

Summary: You were just playing around in your room and one of your spells made you a temporary cat. request=open requested: <yes> <no> wc: 1,120 ft: straw hats

⭑First of all, Luffy would call out your name EVERYWHERE.

⭑If you didn't respond, he would use his Gum-Gum Fruit to climb the crow's nest.

⭑But, sadly, he didn’t see u. But instead, a small cat sitting on top of the merry’s head.

⭑He’d used his gum-gum powers to go to the cat and would tilt his head to the side due to confusion.

⭑But no worries since he’d smile and try to pet the cat.

⭑Would honestly forget about you and would just wanna play with the cat (which IS technically you...)

⭑The next day though, he'd try to look at the cat again (HE WANTS TO PLAY!!).

⭑Though when he saw you, he'd be happy again!

⭑Would invite you to look for the cat with him but give up 5 minutes later.

⭑You promised Zoro to spar with him after lunch.

⭑However, when he arrived at the crow's nest, a cat was waiting for his arrival.

⭑He won't pay mind to the sitting cat, instead, he'd use that time to train.

⭑But, the sun is starting to set and the cat hasn't moved an inch. He's getting pissed.

⭑Would mumble a curse and say stupid. But the cat meowed at him.

⭑He FINALLY looked at the cat and said, "What?"

⭑You'd growl at him and scratch his pants.

⭑He was honestly deciding to kick you but noticed your similar features and FINALLY REALIZED.

⭑Would laugh at you and pet you. He also realized that he likes cuddling with you!

⭑Poor man, save Sanji from this hell.

⭑When he didn't see u in the dining hall eating, he was worried.

⭑Would asked Robin and Nami if they saw you, but both the girls said no.

⭑After everyone left to do whatever and Sanji finally overcame his breakdown, he saw a small cat standing at the center of the table.

⭑He was honestly angry at first. Who's cat is this? And don't they know that they shed a lot!?

⭑But when he took a closer look at you and a super deep inhaling, he finally realized it was you.

⭑"Is that really you, Y/n?" he said.

⭑You meowed back, happy that Sanji recognized you immediately.

⭑He'd pet you and hug you (He wanna spend time with you ok? Especially if ur taller than him. NOW HE'S LARGER >:))

⭑The rest of the day was just u sleeping on the counter, occasionally getting pets from him.

⭑You were hanging around Nami's tangerine trees, trying to hide from the sun.

⭑She finally finished drawing the last island that you guys went to. So, of course, she wanted to rest for a while.

⭑And what better way to do it than to eat one of her tangerines?

⭑She took a step forward but was blocked. She looked down and saw a little kitty sleeping.

⭑She cooed on the sleeping cat and picked it up gently, scared to awaken it.

⭑Nami would then go to her office and lay you on her desk, admiring your sleeping form.

⭑She would take a piece of paper to put every question she has for you and try to communicate with you.

⭑When she finally noticed that the cat was you, SHE WAS SQUEALING!

⭑She was kinda sad that you can't turn into a cat at will though.

⭑Ussop was bored and was just walking on the green grass.

⭑Suddenly he tripped and fell. He then would look back and notice a cat sleeping.

⭑The cat, who was formally sleeping stretched its body.

⭑Ussop, honestly, was scared at first. He WAS sure there wasn't anything lying around. But when he turned around, he sent out a relief of sigh.

⭑"It was just a cat," he had thought, "WHAT IS A CAT DOING HERE?"

⭑Bro was shaking. Though you just glared at Ussop, disturbing your sleep.

⭑Would sit down and play with you.

⭑Bro exhausted you and got you back to your human form quicker than 24 hrs.

⭑W Ussop

⭑Chopper was reading a book in his office when he heard some scratching on the other side of the door.

⭑Chopper opened the door and saw you frowning.

⭑He immediately recognized it was you. From your features to your smell.

⭑When I tell you his eyes were sparkling, it was SPARKLING.

⭑He invited you to his office and tried to talk to you. Since he was an animal by heart, it was the easiest to talk to him.

⭑You honestly had a good fun chat with Chopper.

⭑He told you fun facts about cats and how they used to be worshipped.

⭑Honestly, 10/10. Just come to Chopper.

⭑Robin was just hanging around the deck of the merry. Reading as she pleased.

⭑Until she heard some meowing beside her.

⭑She looked down and saw a cat. Though it was her first time seeing it, she felt a sense of familiarity.

⭑"Y/n?" she spoke.

⭑You meowed back, happy that Robin noticed you.

⭑She made a few jokes about you staying like that forever. (It made u scared and u started meowing faster.)

⭑Robin chuckled and used her devil fruit to tickle you.

⭑And from exhaustion, it made you turn back to normal. YEY!!

⭑Now, whenever someone from the crew gets turned into a cat, Robin just needs to exhaust them, and they'll turn back to normal.

⭑You were gonna surprise Franky 'bout being turned into a cat.

⭑You weren't looking in your direction and fell into a massive tub of cola.

⭑Franky saw you and used his mini hands to save you.

⭑You stuck your tongue out to the cyborg man who was in a state of confusion.

⭑"Owh! Y/n! This is SUPPPERRRR weird!" he said.

⭑He'd honestly play with you in your cat form. I mean, he's superrr excited!!

⭑He also got u back on ur normal form. YEY!!

⭑Brook felt something heavy on top of his head.

⭑He tried taking off his hat and feeling his hair, but nothing was there.

⭑It's when Brook lost his balance and you fell on his hands. (Thanks to his great reflexes)

⭑You had a smug face when you saw the skeleton's shocked face.

⭑He'd just forget about it and make a welcoming song for you though.

⭑Jimbei was just steering the ship when he heard meowing behind him.

⭑He saw a cat that was sitting down.

⭑Jimbei thought that it was somebody's pet. And since he was the newest person in the crew, he had no right to throw the cat.

⭑He picked you up and put you on his shoulders. The clean breeze hitting your fur.

⭑You fell asleep on his shoulders and woke up on your bed, feeling a sense of exhaustion on your hands and legs.

[bambihrt]

Christmas in Hell

a very hazbin christmas, full of joy, cheer and a party for the ages

Alastor x reader

Reader needs the perfect gift for Angel Dust but has to ask a certain someone for help. Just a little fluffy holiday special.

You would think after death the holidays wouldn't be very important. In hell, especially you would think since they're not big fans of the big guy in charge that they wouldn't celebrate a certain someone's birth. Well Charlie Morningstar was not going to let those facts ruin her super-duper fantastical holiday party.

Christmas Eve

Despite the lack of Christmas spirit Angel Dust was booked and busy letting Santa come down the chimney in a few special videos to be released the next day. Even though his stocking was being filled early you, as his best friend, were stressing over the perfect gift to get him.

Earlier in the week, Charlie has gathered everyone in the hotel to the main space where she had set up a giant tree that reached the ceiling. Charlie and her partner Vaggie, covered in pine needles and wearing lumberjack clothing, held Husk's hat full of folded slips of paper open for the circle.

"Hiiiii everyone! Hope you're all merry and ready for a fun group bonding exercise!" Charlie began.

She was met with loud groans and signs. "Shut up and listen to Charlie she put a lot of work into this," Vaggie huffed with rage.

"Thanks Vaggie. Anyways, I've set up a secret Santa for everyone to- HEAR ME OUT OKAY yes so you'll choose a name and then on Christmas we'll swap gifts and it will be so fun!" Charlie explained while passing the hat along and giggling and staring you down when she picked a piece of paper.

Since you had died quite young, your family hadn't make it to Hell yet or they made are in the place above, so you haven't celebrated since making your way to the after life, so this sounded like fun. But you couldn't resist a playful eye roll as you chose your paper reading Angel Dust to yourself.

Husk groaned while picking from his hat and then placing it on his head, "I thought through death I escaped obligatory in-law get togethers but now I have this shit."

Fast forward back to present day you were still stuck on what you could get him. Adult toys? No give him a break from work. Drugs? Not that you want to encourage that habit. Nifty had been no help when you asked. Muttering on about bad boys and cleaning. You didn't bother with asking Husk. Sir Pentious was still being coached on the whole secret Santa concept. Vaggie and Charlie had too many good ideas but none felt right for Angel Dust. This left you with only one option.

Knocking twice on the radio demon's door, your face twisted with instant regret and immediately started back down the hallway. "Leaving so soon? Now here I was thinking you saved the best for last." The gaze of his knowing smile burned the back of your head as you swiveled around.

"Sorry Alastor it was stupid idea I'll leave you to do... whatever you were doing."

"Nonsense my dear! Why I'd be happy to help my favorite guest with a gift for a certain effeminate fellow!"

"How did you-"

Alastor let out his practiced laugh, "Discretion is not one of your strengths (y/n)."

Your cheeks set alight hearing Alastor call you by your first name, no pet name or teasing nicknames. He held the door open and you avoided his gaze while leading inside. The great radio demon sauntered over to his large cherry wood desk inside his room and sat in a leather cushion maroon chair. Due to the lack of seating options, you hovered near the edge of his bed while le smiled and motioned for you to take a seat with a teasing glint in his eye.

Mustering up the courage to break the silence you asked, "I thought you didn't allow visitors inside your room."

Twiddling with his microphone cane Alastor responded, "I can make exceptions."

"I don't have any VoxTek on me by the way. Just in case you wondered."

A sound came from him, almost like a real giggle but you must of been mistaken. "I know (y/n)."

"Well since you seem to know everything what would be the perfect gift for Angel Dust that will show I'm a wonderful friend?"

"I can only give you hints, would spoil the game if I told you."

You groaned and fell back against the bed. Of course coming to Alastor was a mistake. As if an overlord would want to help silly you buy a silly gift for a silly holiday.

"Cheer up dearie! You're closer to the answer then you might think."

Eyebrows furrowed and dread he might make a fool of you, you asked him for the first hint.

"Something to do with your weekly film Friday events perhaps?"

"It's actually called freaky Friday because of our shared love of movies from the noughties." You said with a cheeky grin. "Angel also loves a dirty joke whenever it's possible to have one."

"Ah yes you, the spider ,and the swine all cuddled together in your matching pajamas on the settee watching princess makeovers and assistant makeovers and-"

"Hey it's more than just makeovers!" However, the comment gave you an idea, "Oh my god what if I get him a Fat Nuggets blanket?"

A round of applause played while Alastor called out "Ding ding! We have a winner!"

Letting out a sheepish smile and thank you, you rose from the bed ready to search for a way to get this made by the end of the day. Then a perfectly wrapped gift appeared in front of your face and dropped into your hands. Your head whipped in the direction of the smiling demon across the room.

"Is this what I think it is? How did you have it already?"

"I know you."

With a flushed face and full arms you made your way out of the room and through the doorway. Only halfway through the walk to your bedroom did you realize Alastor knew of your movie nights and took note of the matching pajamas. The radio demon noticed you.

Christmas Day

A giant fire roared in the hearth as bells rung and music played around the hotel. Excitement filled the air as the originally dismissive group exchanged gifts to each other. You and Angel Dust hung together watching the others until you announced you had something for him.

"Aw (y/n) you're my secret Santa?"

You snatched the Santa hat off Angel Dust's head in embarassment and placed it on your own as you laughed, "Had to get something for my ho ho hoe."

After a fit of giggles said spider unwrapped his gift and his eyes lit up, "If you had a dick I'd suck it so hard right now thank you doll."

Christmas was a success and you could finally breathe a sigh of relief and a laugh at your best friend's words as he snuggled himself within the blanket along with its muse in his lap.

Charlie rose up to give her gift as you prepared yourself with being thankful and happy no matter what she gave you. Until she turned to Nifty with a gift that turned out to be a new dress for her. Filled with confusion you swore to Angel that you thought Charlie got you due to her obviousness. Then the young Morningstar turned again to look above you and smiled so brightly.

Both yours and Angel Dust moved to see what she was smiling at behind you only to be face to face, or well chest, of the radio demon. Grinning down at you with his hands behind his back he laughed and said, "Happy Christmas from your secret Santa."

"What? I thought for sure it was Charlie."

"We struck a sort of deal," Alastor explained while behind your back Charlie gave a thumbs up as the rest of the crew stopped to watch.

The gift was handed to you as you carefully unwrapped it, conscious of all the eyes currently on you or rather what a scary overlord has given you as a gift. Inside was a beautifully crafted music box with carvings of your favorite flowers and sculptures of little deer in a meadow. You opened the box and your ears are met with an instrumental version of your favorite song.

"How did you-"

"Like I said I know you (y/n)."

Suddenly Charlie's voice bellowed, "Look who's under the mistletoe!" As if you couldn't be any more red from this interaction you now looked up to see that very mistletoe above you and Alastor. Your facial expression fell realizing this was going to be so awkward, being rejected in front of everyone despite it not being caused by you. Full of thoughts on how to escape or come up with a nonchalant response to not even being wanted for one measly peck and planning when you'll disappear to nurse your ego, you were distracted from the real world. That was until a pair of lips met your own in a soft yet hungry kiss. The moment felt like eternity yet also a millisecond at the same time. Before you could return the kiss, the deer demon pulled back and with a wink, walked away.

Shocked faces and silence filled the room as no one expected Alastor's actions. Lightly touching your lips, you thought maybe Christmas in Hell isn't so bad.

[just-null]

hii! i was thinking, after seeing your who's-your-fav-clone post ,about who would be their darling's favorite & i just wanted to 2share my thoughts.

honeslty my fav has always been urogi and in real-life context, i would be drawn to think that he would be the best yandere choice. like, he is the embodiment of positive emotions; everyone would like that, right? he fluffs up when he sees you, is happy to keep you company and loyal to his bird-like side, whenever he would see some shiny piece of something, let it be a jewel or radom metal or anything he likes, really, he would bring it to you and offer it as a mating gift^_^ so everything's perfect, right?

wrong😖 i mean all of the things above r still true, but urogi can get super overwhelming and your drawings + the you-mention-a-new-name post lowk highk made me scared of himm LMAOO like he is just so menacing, his devotion and love feel just super threatening no matter how sweet he tries to appear.

then, maybe the most gentle one, aizetsu? 🙅 nuh-uh, no. i actually really love your aizetsu cs i never thought about him in like this passive-aggressive manipulative/victim-complex toxic boyfriend light but it just fits him soo much! out of all the 4, he'd probably b the most emotionally drainig to be around.

sekido doesn't seem like a bad option too, if you put aside his bad temper... meaning, putting all of him aside lol. i mean, he seems like a guy who's dealing for the first time with very intense romantic feelings and his first instinct is to raise his guard up at like maximum security level🙁 all of his worries and uttered love confessions come out the wrong way and it just makes his darling withdraw from him, wich makes him panick. he tries to 'make things right' only scaring them further. his darling doesn't want to see him, spending all of their time w the others and he eventually lashes out on them and his siblings. even though he's only trying to look out for everyone..

soo i really think karaku is the better option. hes just a chill guyTM who might or might not be trying to get under his darling's pants sometimes, but he's so carefree (convinced that they won't never ever manage to escape since everyone is always watching them 24/7) that he just kind of lets them do whatever. like yeah you wanna go out? sure. have fun. if their darling is coming to seek any of them for comfort, it would most likely be him.

ultimately, i think the ranking would b this:

1. karaku

2. urogi

3. aizetsu

4. and much to his dismay, sekido

All pros and cons you stated are pretty accurate but you missed Karaku's cons. Surprise, he also is awful like the rest! Yes, he does let you go out and about, but not without consequences. He does things that could get others (or you) hurt on purpose or to save you from problems (that he made)

You probably won't get overwhelmed if the others are there to regulate everyone, so you'll be a semi regular couple. Harem?

Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing as the saying goes. Karaku is too carefree. He's too confident that you'll bounce back if wounded. He's too confident you'll still come back to him at the end of the day.

They're parts of a whole at the end of the day, they need each other so they dont make you lose your mind, and life. The worst of them can end up being your saviors and vise versa.

As for our special hedonist, Karaku likes to PORTRAY himself as a pretty relaxed guy, to you specifically. He's not too pushy unless he knows you won't be too put off by it. But that damn thrill seeker side.....

He gets bored easily and constantly seeking pleasure like an addict. How do you get the best hit? After a disaster, of course! A disaster he made since things can get pretty quiet without a push.

Karaku wants your praise and favor, but he's not going to ruin his image in front of you. (Un)Fortunately for him, he knows you aren't able to have your eyes on him 24/7. In that downtime, he can do whatever he wants, like causing disaster around you or others. Little things that snowball and have you calling them (specifically him) to "save" you.

It's a good day if all Karaku does is try seducing you.

[aevari]

My art summary for 2024!

I am genuinely quite pleased with my progress this year! I've branched out into painted portraits, drawing more couples and can see some confidence and growth in my inking and my anatomy! This year I got to draw more fanart and create some new OCs which was such a creative treat - I'm so happy!!! 🥰 Rogue Trader was my first introduction into the w40k universe and I got obsessed with its rich lore. Created Lucinda von Valancius and fell in love with her and Heinrix's story. Replayed the Dragon Age series in anticipation for Veilguard to create a canon timeline. It was the first time playing Origins and it became my favorite of the series and games of all time to me. Milana Tabris has been awarded blorbo of the year because I love her (and Zevran) SO fucking much. Honorable mentions to Armas de Riva, my catboy 😼 and his romance with Lucanis (and Spite), my sweetheart Juleic Trevelyan who unexpectedly captivated me w/ how his romance blossomed with Dorian 💞, and to Beau Hawke who is the messiest gal stuck in a tragic narrative despite her good intentions. 💔

I also met some amazing pals/mutuals in both of these fandoms and I'm so glad to have met you all!!! <3 Also a big, big thank you to all of you who hangout and follow me (whether for my art or whatever vibes I bring to your dash). To those who like to see me ramble about my ocs I LOVE you. To those who support my art, leave nice comments/tags, reblog/like my work or help spread my commission posts when I open my comms you guys are AMAZING - thank you! And a super big special thank you to all the folks who have commissioned me this year!!! Especially my regulars - I am so, so delighted every time I get to draw for you! The love and support in my creative endeavors mean the world to me. I say it every year, almost every few months too, but I do mean it. I'm so grateful <3 2024 art goals I had in 2023 and plans for 2025 below:

Rebranded art handle. ✅

Touch 2022 wips I wanted to go back on. ❌

Balance from commission art with more personal art. ✅

Going into next year I STILL want to touch my 2022 backlogs lol and some 2023/2024 wips I have sitting in my folder. make my first enamel pin whosaidthat. Also I'd love to explore doing LIGHTING!!!! Overlay/multiply/etc etc save me... I've done some old pieces in the past I was so proud of and I can't figure out how to replicate that technique lmao. This is also the first time I can take on commission work as a leisurely thing than a necessity for bills (FOR NOW. LIFE FINDS A WAY.) so it'll be a refreshing take to get back into it in early 2025 :) Thanks again, as always, for sticking around!

2023 | 2022 | 2021 | 2020 | template

[thesmokingguns]

Witches w/ Izzy STradlin

Super fluffy piece I wrote around Halloween <3

I feel like you never see Izzy written as a family man and I can just picture him with a whole ass family

Izzy was beat.

His head ached. His body ached. And all he needed was to be curled up with the four ladies in his life to feel better.

He had only been home for one night and had to do some work at a local radio station today, which lead to a recording studio trop he hadn’t expected and finally he was headed home for some quality family time.

As soon as he entered the quiet house he know that there was trouble.

“Quiet.”

“You be quiet, Tara.”

“Shut up, Tessa.”

“I’m going to tell Mama you said Shut up.”

“Don’t be a tattletale, Toni.”

The three little voices were coming from his bedroom making Izzy smirk as he kicked off his shoes, heading to the bedroom where he knocked on the door getting a chorus of ‘shhh’ from behind the wood.

“Can I come in?” He waited a second expecting three squealing tots to throw themselves in his arm and cover him with kisses as they searched his pockets for whatever treat he bought for them.

But instead he heard them whispering together some more in whatever secret they were locked into.

“Darlings, your daddy asked to come in.” He couldn’t help the smile at his wife's voice, her soft reminder to her daughters about his knock.

But all he heard was more whispering before finally, Tara , his oldest at seven, opened the door looking at him with his own eyes staring back at him, her lips in a serious pout as her chocolate curls sat untamed under a pointed black hat.

A bit of jostling and the two other pointed hats of Tessa, age five, and Toni, age four, poked their heads out looking at Izzy with the little girl pouts that he didn’t expect.

“Why the long faces, little witches?” That got a google out of Toni who was promptly shh’d by her sisters and a fierce whisper between them went off.

“You can’t come in here anymore. You’re not allowed near Mommy.” Izzy’s eyebrows raised and he caught sight of his wife in bed looking at him with the same sort of confusion that he was sure was on his face.

A soft cry made him look at the baby in her arms. At just seven months their youngest daughter, Tilly was latching onto her mothers breast, unaware of the battle her sisters were embarking in.

“Darlings let daddy in.” She gave him an encouraging smile but he saw them all put their heads together before Tara was once more looking at him, her hands on her hips as the cape his wife made her with little crescent moons fluttered behind her.

“You can come in, daddy. But you need to undo it.” She crossed her arms, elbowing Tessa who mimicked the motion that her older sister was doing as Toni lost interest twirling around in her pink cape with gold sparkly stars, giggling at the material.

One witch down, two to go.

“Undo what?” He was crouching down to their level opening his arms as Tessa smiled, leaning in to get hugs from him.

Tessa was the one who always wanted snuggles. She was the one who liked physical touch and Izzy knew he was exploiting it but he wanted to give all his little girls hugs.

“The watermelon curse, daddy.” She whispered, getting a glare from Tara.

“He knows what he did.” Tara was upset as her sister ran off, the green cape with orange pumpkins flying in the wind she had created from rushing away.

Tara turned to Izzy, hand on her hips as she kept him from entering the bedroom still. Obviously she was upset about something.

“What is going on, Tara? What did I do?” Izzy wanted to just curl up with them all, eat pizza in bed and watch a movie. He would even watch a princess movie if it meant they all were happy.

Anything for his family.

“You put a curse on Mommy. You come home and you give her a look that makes her look at you all goo goo and then her belly grows from the watermelon seed and there is another baby. There are four of us now, daddy. Five is too many. That’s greedy.” Izzy blinked, swallowing the smile on his lips as his wife kissed Tilly’s head.

His other two had crawled on the bed, petting their baby sister as they watched their mother nurse,giving her all the cuddles.

“Tara, babies are gifts.” He reached for her but she shook her head, not being lured into his arms as he sighed out, sitting cross legged, “Do you want to tell me what’s going on little one?” She looked back at her sisters, realizing that they weren’t paying attention she moved closer, arms wrapping around Izzy.

Her little hands tugged at his dreads as her hat jostled from bumping into him as she whispered in his ear.

“If you have more babies you’ll have less love for me.” The softness of her voice, worried made Izzy’s heartache as he held her close, rubbing her back as she sniffled trying to be the strong older sister.

“Oh Tara, mommy and me love you all so much. Can’t you see how we love you all?” she nodded her head in confirmation but didn’t look at him, “Do you love your sisters?” she looked at him, cheeks a little flushed as she shrugged.

“Sometimes. But sometimes Tessa has hot dog farts and Tilly always is sucking on moms boobies and Toni takes long showers where she sings so loud.” Izzy smirked at her little grievances with her sisters. “But Toni always shares her candy with me and Tessa gives really good snuggles when I have bad dreams and I like the way Tilly smiled at me first.” Izzy nodded in understanding.

“And just how you love all your sisters we love you.” She nodded her head in understanding, pulling away as she stuck out her pinky at him.

“Promise you’ll love us, no matter how many you have?”  Izzy chuckled, nodding his head as he entered the solemn vow with his daughter, “Okay, daddy you can come in now.” Izzy stood up, taking Tara with him. Glad that she wasn’t complaining that she was too big to be held.

Finally he was in bed with all of the, snuggled up as his wife looked at him, her eyes on him as Izzy stroked the girls hair getting them arranged for movie night.

“Are you alright?” he asked, leaning in and stealing a kiss as well as the baby from her arms. He took over burping as his wife snuggled closer, leaning in for just him to hear.

“I feel pretty good for swallowing a watermelon seed.”

[askinkiskarma]

Illicit Affairs | Chapter V: All Too Well

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: Neteyam's life changed when you came into his life the first time, and is now bound to change again, in ways neither of you could have ever predicted.

Warnings: angst, mentions of death, descriptions of ptsd flashbacks, cursing, blood, descriptions of surgical procedures, some fluff.

Word Count: 9k words (wow)

A/N: Chapter 5 is coming out a little earlier than expected because I am too excited to wait. We finally get to discover a little more about what Neteyam's gone through and his decision to leave, so super chuffed about that. I am working really hard trying to balance writing for this and being a PhD student, but I am happy with the progress I am making and hope to be done with Chapter 6 in a couple days' time. Things are quickly unfolding, and there is a looot happening in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy <3 I'd love to hear your thoughts x

From when your Brooklyn broke my skin and bones I'm a soldier who's returning half her weight And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? Just between us, did this love affair maim you too?

“Fuck, fuck fuck!” Neteyam ran faster than he knew he could and kneeled next to you. He was panting in heart-stopping fear, watching your shaking form and hearing your pained wails that were opening out so many holes in his chest, the pain was unbearable. He forced himself to try and remember what to do; this wasn’t your first flashback, this wasn’t the first flashback he’s had to walk you through. One, do not touch the person experiencing a PTSD flashback. Done. Two?

“Y/N. It’s me, it’s Neteyam, listen to me. You are with me in the the forest a couple clicks North-west of the village. It’s just you and me, there’s nothing happening to you right now. You’re safe. It’s just you and me.”

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

Everything hurt. You just wanted it over, you wanted everything to be over. You couldn’t hear or see anything around you, except yourself in a past you’d do anything to forget about. 

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

“It’s me. Hey, it’s me. You’re ok. We’re ok. You are with me now, you’re safe. Please come back.”

You’d recognise this voice anywhere, for the rest of your life, this voice was going to be able to pull you out of the deepest shadows and into the light. You opened your eyes and willed them to focus past the tears, past the blood you could feel on your hands and feet and focus on the blue form talking to you.

“Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths, can you do that for me? I need you to give me a sign you can hear me, Atan (light). Please, please.”

You tried your best to do as you were told. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Remembering his request, you nodded almost imperceptibly.

“I’m here. You’re safe. Please come back. It’s just you and me.” 

Just you and me. Just you and me. Just you and me. 

Neteyam… 

You slowly moved your hands, searching, desperately needing the feel of his warmth on you. He knew, he always knew. Without the smallest hesitation, he grabbed both of your hands in his. You looked at him, finally able to see in front of you, see what was real. He was real. Your tears fell freely down your cheeks, and without a second thought, you removed your hands from his and felt your arms reach out for him, for all of him. You hugged him tightly and sighed a breath of relief when he closed whatever space was left between you and held you close. Your new body fit into his like the final piece of the puzzle you were both trying to solve all your lives. 

You didn’t say a word. The world was moving on around you, but not you. You and Neteyam stood there, in the little corner of Pandora that suddenly felt a lot like a safe haven in the storm. 

“You’re ok to get up?” 

“Yeah, thank you.”

“Do you want me to carry you back?”

“No, thank you. I can walk.”

It was too late to continue training and you silently made your way back to the village. You felt embarrassed, and so you walked with your head down the whole way back. You knew there was nothing to be embarrassed about, there was nothing to be ashamed of, and yet, going back on your first day in this new body, having been given a second chance at a new life, you were disappointed that your nightmares didn’t seem to care which version of you they had to go through to resurface. 

“Are you alright?” 

“I’m fine, Neteyam. I’m sorry you had to see that. I’m sorry you always seem to be around when these things happen.” 

If only you knew how sorry he was that he was always around when these things happen.

He couldn’t be sure, but he can guess what triggered your flashbacks. He couldn’t lie and say that day didn’t haunt his dreams, too.

Neteyam made his way back to the village that evening shaking and in tears, and wanted nothing more to take his Ikran far away to a place no one would be able to find him. But alas, he took his bow from the stand in the family tent and slipped out unnoticed while everyone else was having a communal dinner by the bonfire. He walked furiously, still shaking, still crying, until he reached the training grounds he used to go to every day when he was younger. He saw broken arrows on the ground next to some of the targets and felt it was fitting for how he was feeling. Broken, like no amount of care could ever bring him back to the arrow he was currently holding in his hands. He made quick work of the targets he could easily spot, then worked his way through the harder ones until his body ached and his fingers bled from all the now-opened scabs. 

“Ma ‘itan (my son).” He heard a voice break through the shadows of the now fluorescent flora surrounding him. He saw his mum’s steps before he actually saw her, and turned his back to her before she could see him, truly see him.

Neytiri approached him slowly and gently took the bow from his hands. She placed it around her body and placed her arms on her son, one on his back and one on his chest, above his heart. 

“What is the matter, son?” 

“Nothing, mother. I will come home soon, I promise.” 

She reached over and wiped away her son’s tears with her thumb. 

“Please, tell me what happened.” 

Neteyam couldn’t hide anymore when a small guttural cry escaped his lips. His mum slowly moved him away from the practice area and sat him down on the grass, that illuminated under their weight. 

“Mum, I’m killing her.” 

He was bawling now, bringing his knees to his chest and settling his head on them. “I feel like my being in her life will kill her.”

“Y/N?” 

“Every time we are together, something happens to her that breaks her even more. She found her dad, mum. She found her dad’s skeleton racing me through the forest. I almost killed her once because I wanted to get her out and show her the forest, so I almost killed her on my Ikran.”

“Ma ‘itan…”

“She wouldn’t go outside if it wasn’t for me. I push her to go, because I hate seeing her like this, seeing her wasting away in a lab, I just want her to be better, and happy and free, like she used to be when we were kids. I push her to go, and every time it ends up making it worse.”

Neytiri waited for her son to release all the worry plaguing him. Her son kept everything inside, but if you were patient enough with him, he would let you in eventually. 

“Neteyam… you can’t blame yourself for these things. You had no way of knowing how these things would turn out. Yes, it was irresponsible to take her on the Ikran, but you were a child. You wanted to help, and she loved being on it. She told me it was the best thing she had ever done, and that she is grateful that you thought to take her with you. Your strong heart saved both of you from Toruk. I am sorry about what happened today, that must have been really hard on her, but you were just walking trough the forest together. Any other place on Pandora, and this wouldn’t have happened. This was just a horrible misfortune, but it’s not your misfortune to bear.”

Neteyam was crying so hard he felt himself running out of breath. 

“You didn’t see her, mum. I saw her, laying unconscious on the ground. I saw the blood, so much blood I didn’t even think such a small person could carry it. I thought she died. I have nightmares about that night that I will never be able to outgrow. You should have seen her today. She was shaking and screaming and clawing at her feet so hard, she won’t be able to walk for weeks. Why must everything bad in the world must happen to her, mum?”

“We don’t know what Eywa has in store, ma ‘itan. She protects the balance of life, and maybe there is a reason for all this hurt. We can only help her the best way we know how, by loving her and being there for her. We have to hope that that’s enough.” 

“I don’t think I can do that anymore, mum. I don’t think I can watch her suffer anymore. It’s killing me. I love her, mum. I love her so much and there is nothing I want more in the world than to take her hurt and make it go away.”

“Neteyam, I think sometimes it is better to realise a hard truth early than live with a comfortable reality until the cracks in your heart are too deep to ever be able to be mended. Maybe both of you just need some time apart, to grow and heal on your own. I know you love her, Neteyam. But she will never be yours. She’s not one of us, son. You will never be able to be mated. I know you love her, but she is human. So maybe some time apart will allow you to move on, and then you can be there for her, as her friend, as someone who can help her navigate this life whilst living your own.”

“Your dad and I have not said anything until now, because we know. We’ve always known how you felt for her. And we wish that she could have been Na’vi, that this could happen for you, son, but maybe this is a sign from Eywa to look towards the future, to start finding your true mate, one who will not make you feel like this when you are around her. Love is not supposed to hurt, my son.”

He looked over to the girl walking close to him, the girl who was now no longer just a human, but an Avatar, a girl who had a chance to be one of the people one day, but whose demons did not diminish over time at all, and he wondered if they ever will. 

Soon enough, the lights of the village came into view and you were not ready to have to talk to anybody, explain to anybody when there were no words to describe the pain and anguish inside your heart. You wanted sleep, a deep sleep that wouldn’t cease in the morning. 

“How about you just go to your tent for the night? You can catch up with the family tomorrow morning. I will tell them you worked really hard and since this was your first day in a new body, you just need some rest.” 

You let out a big sigh of relief, and nodded silently at Neteyam, grateful and unnerved at his uncanny ability to understand your needs almost better than you were able to understand them yourself.

“Irayo (Thank you).”

Your tent felt cold and uninviting when you entered it, but you couldn’t be bothered to think about it too hard, and, as you let yourself collapse on the mat that would qualify as a bed for the foreseeable future, you thought about all the new challenges that dawn will bring. 

“That’s right, come on back, Ace. That’s it.” 

The light was blinding you, as your eyes adjusted to your newfound environment. You groaned slightly and removed the metal cage trapping you to the linkpod. With heavy legs, you got up and stretched your body as well as you could, trying to ignore the tingling of your limbs as the blood flowed through them properly for the first time in over half a day. 

“So, how was it?” Norm was almost besides himself excited, and you knew you had to lie, because telling him it was one of the hardest, most excruciating days of your life might dampen the current mood. 

“Hard, but a lot of fun! I learnt to ride a Pa’li, and Tsaheylu is unlike anything I have ever experienced. There really is nothing like it in this body that can compare.” 

“Ah, I’m glad to hear it. Do you have plans for tomorrow?”

“I think just more of the same? I’ll start learning how to shoot a bow soon, too. I, for one, think I’ll kick ass at it.” You said, hoping your amused tone and sly comments were enthusiastic enough to be perceived as authentic. 

“I’m sure you will, Ace. You off to bed?”

“Yeah, I’m exhausted.” 

Your human face staring back at you in the mirror looked somewhat better than the muddy, cried-out one you left behind at the village, but that doesn’t mean much when both bodies shared a soul, one that looked much worse than either of them could ever reflect. 

You couldn’t take another dream, another anything, so, popping two Xanax pills, you crashed your head into the pillow and hoped for a peaceful blackout. 

The next day, you were back in your Avatar body before dawn, and made your way towards the Sully tent, dedicated to make this work. It took a while to get the mud off your body at the nearby river, but eventually you thought you looked presentable enough to go ahead with the day. You promised Lo’ak, and Jake, and Norm, and yourself, that you would make this work, or at least give it a good college try. 

“Can I come in?” You remember to speak in Na’vi, and find the family eating breakfast around the fire. 

“Lo’ak you skxawng, you stepped on the herbs I spent all of yesterday collecting.” Kiri was screaming at Lo’ak and hitting him across the arm while he was trying to defend himself as best he could from the continuous onslaught.

“Ow, ow, ow!! Kiri, stop that! They were next to my sleeping bag, don’t leave your shit everywhere if you don’t want people to step on it.” 

“NOT PEOPLE, LO’AK. YOU! IT’S ALWAYS YOU!” 

“Bro, remove your girl before she maims me.” Lo’ak directed his attention to the human boy sitting in the corner, just laughing and enjoying the show.

You couldn’t help laugh at the scene, fondly remembering all the times Lo’ak and Kiri bickered like twins - there was no doubt in your mind these two were made to be siblings. 

Neteyam, sitting in a corner in silence, sharpening his knife, glanced up at you inquisitively. You didn’t like how intimate his gaze felt and with the perspective of a new day, you knew it was a mistake to allow him so close to you yesterday, to allow yourself to touch him and hug him and pull his body close to yours like he was your life support machine. A mistake. You don’t make mistakes. 

“Maite, come, sit, eat.” Neytiri came in and pushed you closer to the fire, placing her hands on your shoulders and forcing you to sit. She gave you fruits and seeds and motioned for you to go ahead. “Tell me how yesterday went! Neteyam told us you are much better at your Pa’li training than their dad ever was.” 

“Hey, I can hear you, you know?” Jake said, taking a break from cleaning a rifle to scowl lovingly at the mother of his children. 

“Well, I can’t speak to Jake’s proficiency, but I think it went well. Great Mother, the Tsaheylu was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, I never knew it was possible for a feeling like that to exist.” 

“Wait til you bond with an Ikran.” Lo’ak interjected. “It’s fucking awesome.” 

“LANGUAGE!” Said Jake at the same time Neytiri sent a hiss in her younger son’s direction. 

You and Neteyam made your way to the archery practice area. There were many people there, most of them accompanying their young kids learning to use a bow and arrow for the first time, learning to one day be able to pull their weight for the sake of the village and their loved ones. You stared in awe at the determination these children had, how unwavering and brightly it shone. It must be nice to be sure of the life ahead of you, be sure of your purpose and your future. 

“Right. Unlike Spider, you have not had any practice with our bows, so we have to go back to basics. There are things you always have to keep in mind when you shoot an arrow, and these things will take time. In time, it will become second nature to you, but practice makes perfect - although true for anything, it is especially true in this case.”

“First, your stance.” 

He removed his bow from around his body and demonstrated. You couldn’t help stare at him, couldn’t help trace your eyes all over his body, that was now fully on display for you, and adjusted your posture to now accommodate for the heat you felt in between your thighs at the sight. Fuck. 

He smirked at you and dropped the stance. “I’m going to need you to focus. Can you do that?”

You raised an eyebrow and looked at him, an annoyed look crossing you features. “Yes, I can do that. Don’t patronise me.”

He raised his hands, as if relenting, and apologised with a small smile. 

You raised the bow you were holding in your right hand and try to mimic his posture the best you could. He circled you, analysing every aspect of your stance, his gaze pausing on some aspects more than others. 

“Your knees are too straight. You have to bend them a little.” You did as you were told, no questions asked. You trusted he knew what he was talking about more than you’d ever be able to argue him on. 

One of his legs made his way between yours and slightly tugged at one, and you hissed at the contact. “Your feet need to be aligned with your shoulders.”

“Your feet also need to be parallel to the target.” You adjusted your feet slightly, focusing on trying to assimilate everything he was saying. You were nothing if not a good student. 

“Good. Remember, good stance means good posture, means consistent good shots.” 

He was a good teacher, you noted. Calm and patient, he took his time and never talked down to you. He explained well and was attentive to details, and you couldn’t help think this is, once again, proof of Neytiri and the clan’s influence on him. Whereas his two younger siblings were chaotic and a lot more human in their demeanour and behaviour, Neteyam was quiet, focused and determined. A true leader, a true warrior. The perfect son, Lo’ak words ring in your ears. 

He circled you once more, and you noticed your arms were starting to get tired. You didn’t complain, though. You were not going to be weak - couldn’t be weak. 

He placed a hand on your back and the other on one of your shoulders, willing them back in a straight position. Your body buzzed at the contact and you had to suppress a shiver running down your spine. “Your back always has to be straight. Not hunched, but not over-arched, either.” 

He placed both his hands on your hips, and you froze into place. His figure was towering over you, you could feel him, feel his warmth radiating on your back. He kept his distance, so as to not attach himself to you, and gently pulled your hips backwards. Your breath was laboured now, you knew, and let out a silent prayer that he couldn’t hear you, couldn’t hear your heart beat that you were sure was so loud it was noticeable within a 2 click radius. 

“Your hips have to be straight, too. No bending them forwards or backwards.” 

This went on for a while, just a slow torture that you thought was never going to end, until at some point, a few hours later, he finally allowed you to shoot an arrow. The pain you felt in between your shoulder blades and arms was nearing unbearable, but still, you soldiered on. You tried to keep in mind everything he told you all at once, and with a (hopefully) correct stance, posture, grip and bow arm, it was time to work on your release. Your fingers were cramping from holding the bow so tightly in between them, and with a slight whimper, you let go. 

He followed the arrow with his eyes, all the way through the air and past the target, getting stuck on the ground somewhere beyond view. He turned his attention back to you. 

“That was not horrible. Your arm is too low.” he says while gently placing a hand on your arrow-holding arm and moving it upward, furthering the pain you felt in between your shoulder blades. He moved his hand downwards and placed it on your abdomen. You gulped, and saw the ghost of a smile on his face. “Your core is not engaged, Y/N. Take a deep breath.” He waited for you to do as you were told. “Hold like this. Txur nì'ul. Stronger.”He didn’t remove his hand, that damn hand, until he was satisfied with your form, then let go. “Again.”

You spent your days like this, training, running, discovering Pandora’s flora and fauna, not as a scientist, but as a hunter and as an apprentice, with timid curiosity and appreciation for the life in front of you. For the first time in your life, you tried to see beyond the science and really see the miracles happening around you. Neteyam told you something on one of your walks that stuck with you. 

“When you see nothing, you will see everything.”

You see more and more why scientists, why your mother or Grace, or Norm or Max, could never make it here. It wasn’t because of survival, or training, or skill. You saw it in yourself and your day to day struggle to empty your cup, your mind always looking for meaning, and answers, and ways to fix and analyse and quantify. Always requiring proof, never being able to just be and watch and observe things and beings for what they are, not what they could be. This was all so unfamiliar to you, so strange, and you wondered if you were ever going to be able to see. 

After a while, the novelty of you, your alien body and blood ceased to be news to people and you were able to now be in the village without as much attention drawn to you, although the eyes never stopped completely. Not when you were always surrounded by at least one Sully, more often than not the two Sully brothers, the heirs to the Omatikaya rule. There was chatter in the village, you knew, about whether you were ever going to make it as one of the people, and how that would impact the future of the clan. Would they want yet another former Sky Walker as an integral part of their life, as their Tsahik, perhaps? 

The whispers of the people bothered you, but not enough to do anything about it. You knew they were baseless and premature, and had no intention of entertaining them. Lo’ak was your best friend, your brother that you loved and you knew loved you, and whatever other feelings he might have, you knew were just a side effect of hormonal growing pains. Lo’ak would outgrow you in time, and you were there to support him whenever he found a love worth harbouring. Neteyam, on the other hand, was a completely different story. The resentment you felt has never diminished in time, although the ice did melt a little after your fateful first day together. You made no efforts to engage with him outside of practice and he reciprocated the effort (or lack thereof) with the same enthusiasm. He was gone most evenings while you had dinner with his family, and would only come back soon before you made your way to your tent. You didn’t hate each other, but that was about the extent of your relationship. The intensity and heat you felt every time he touched you or looked at you in a certain way has also never diminished in time, but you knew yourself and your body enough to be able to resist him, at least until nighttime, when you were a human again and had a bed to yourself. 

You spent your nights mostly by yourself in the lab, determined to not fall behind on your lab work. You found having to have two completely different approaches to life very difficult, but in time, it was like you became two different people. You don’t think they’d like each other very much. Your life was split in two, and the bodies you inhabited made it easier on you to differentiate between the two halves. Your human body was weak, progressively weaker as time went on and you forsook the time to exercise it. In it, you were weak, plagued by all your insecurities and fears and nightmares, all of which came out at night. Your Avatar body was strong, progressively stronger with every day you spent running and training in the forest. In it, you were strong. A warrior, proud and determined and eager to learn. You laughed, and danced, and made conversation and learnt how to craft your own necklaces with Kiri whenever training with Neteyam got too much. You took Lo’ak by the hands and dragged him through the forest, laughing and swinging through trees. You took to Mo’at and tried to learn the healing ways of the Tsahik, as opposed to your mother’s medical training. Life was heaven in one body and hell in the other, and you couldn't tell which one haunted you more.

“Again.” Neteyam spoke over the voices of kids practising their target practice next to them. He had to admit to himself he was impressed with your progress. He knew he shouldn’t be, you were the most impressive and stubborn person he had ever met. He used to watch you patch and suture the Avatars in the lab when you were 13. They said your stitches were the best amongst the remaining humans. He watched you go from a child to a woman who seemed to know everything there was to know about everything. He didn’t know why he didn’t realise before this was going to be the same. You were irksome. 

You shot another bullseye and turned around to face him, smiling cockily and did a curtsy, he thought it was called. He rolled his eyes, but smiled at your satisfaction. 

“You can keep me here all day, I’ll just keep doing it, if not for anything else, just to spite you.” 

“Fine, we’re done. You are dismissed.” 

You raised an eyebrow at him, in that way you always did, that way that drove him fucking crazy. Being next to you every day was driving him crazy. He didn’t know what hell he must have inflicted on a past life to warrant this. Always watching you, and knowing that stolen glances will always have to be enough. 

You started making your way back towards the village, and he followed you. It was such a stark contrast to your first day in this body. You looked confident, and happy. He wondered if it was real, if it was possible that it was indeed that easy, and being here, outside with them was enough to wash your nightmares away, to heal you. He felt a flicker of hope raising in his chest. Stop, Neteyam. What the fuck are you doing?

The village was quiet at this time of day, most people gone on hunts or rides or training. Neteyam heard his dad’s voice booming in the family tent and knew Lo’ak was in deep shit again. He sighed. Baby brother, why do you always have to make things so hard?

“Dammit, Lo’ak, we went through this for a month. A whole ass month. What is this called?” 

When you and Neteyam entered the tent, you found the two Sullys sitting on the ground, with the patriarch towering over Lo’ak with a gun in his hand. 

“I don’t know, sir.” 

“I don’t want to hear that. Do you fucking understand what we’re doing here? Do you understand the humans could be back any fucking day now? War is coming, do you understand this, boy? And you will straighten up, Lo’ak, or I swear to God you will not be allowed to ride an Ikran again for the rest of your life.” 

“Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.” 

Neteyam felt you wince at his dad’s words, and he knew you felt bad for his brother. He did so, too. But also understood that his dad is only trying to make sure they are ready for the time they will inevitably have to go to war. He can’t imagine the pressure on his shoulders at training his own kids to be prepared to avoid their own death and bring death upon others.

“Now, we went through this multiple times. What is this gun?”

He felt the silence bearing down on him, and then heard your voice raise above it.

“It’s a M69-AR, sir. It’s a machine-gun.” 

All eyes in the room snapped shocked to you. You shifted uncomfortably in place, but your gaze did not falter from where you were looking at Jake.

“How do you know that?”

You looked down at the ground, and hesitated before speaking again. 

“I have trained with guns I have found over time for a few years, sir. My dad and the other soldiers in the unit left manuals, training videos, ammo in the lockers. I have found it and learnt about it. I never expected to get an Avatar, but I did not want to be defenceless.”

Neteyam saw his dad and realised he can’t tell what he was thinking at the moment. A mixture of fear, confusion and awe was what he was able to spot. 

“Alright… what’s the caliber of this gun, kid?” 

“.50 caliber BAT.”

“Ok, walk me through the gun’s characteristics.”

You didn’t flinch under the scrutiny of his gaze.

“Well, it has a camera sight on the top for better aim and targeting. It has a second grip for better firing stability and has a long barrel that allows for higher muzzler velocity. Like most weapons used by humans, it can also fire 0226-LSAR ammo, and a grande launcher can be attached to the second grip.”

Lo’ak’s face dropped, and although he had better control over his emotions, Neteyam realised he was also staring at her with a similar expression plastered on his face. 

“Did you ever shoot it?”

“No, I haven’t. I only shoot a standard 8mm handgun, in the woods next to the lab whenever everyone’s preoccupied or out. But I know how to clean it, field-strip it and load it.”

“So nobody knows you’ve been training on guns for years?”

“No, Sir.” 

“I can’t describe to you how stupid and dangerous this was. I didn’t think you of all people were prone to life-threatening idiocy.” 

You felt your gaze harden under his scrutiny and the familiar feel of anger bubbling in your stomach. 

“I’m not a little girl anymore. I will not stand and watch as the humans come back and ruin everything my mother’s fought for and I will not apologise for it.”

You saw Jake stand up, straighten his back and for the first time in your life, you feared the man sitting in front of you.

“Don’t you dare bring your mother into this. Your mother wouldn’t have wanted you to put your life in danger carelessly, getting involved in things you know nothing about. She asked me to take care of you, to teach you. All you had to do was fucking ask. All you had to do is come out of that damn lab and allow us to be part of your life, the way we have wanted to be for years.” 

You felt tears pricking at your eyes and without another word, you turned on your heels and left. 

You entered your tent and closed the flap shut as well as you could, half-considering using one of the suture kits that now resided in it to sew it together so no one can open it. You fell on your sleeping mat with a huff, and took hold of one of the books you have brought to your tent in the couple months you have been here. Your gaze stopped on one of your favourite poems, and repeated the lines to yourself, like a litany needing to be uttered.

“I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted

To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.

How free it is, you have no idea how free——

The peacefulness is so big it dazes you,

And it asks nothing, a name tag, a few trinkets.

It is what the dead close on, finally; I imagine them   

Shutting their mouths on it, like a Communion tablet.”

You stared at the page for a long time, and let your mind wander. Why would he talk to you this way?

Because he cares about you. 

You thought he would be happy, proud of you for being strong, being independent and self-sufficient. You took care of yourself, you would be able to take care of others, of the people you loved. 

But maybe he doesn’t think you should have to do this by yourself. 

Why should you be ashamed of that? Ho doesn’t understand you, never tried to see things from your perspective. 

Maybe cause you never allowed him to know you enough to be able to understand.

He’s not your dad. He has no right to talk to you this way.

He wanted to be your dad, you just always kept him at arm’s length. You’ve always kept everyone at arms length.

You wanted to slap the version of yourself talking back to you. You really are such an annoying person, sometimes. And you hate that you make sense when you didn’t want to make sense. You wanted to be mad and tell him to keep his bossing around to his own children and leave you be, but you couldn’t. Not when the annoying you was right - Jake has tried to be your dad for a long time and you just couldn’t bring yourself to allow that kind of love in your life anymore, not after knowing what it’s like to lose it. 

A scream coming from the village pulled you out of your train of thought, and you made your way outside in a hurry. 

“Help! Help!!” 

You recognised the voice; Ewoaì, one of the most talented hunters of the village, was running holding a motionless body in his arms. His young brother, you noted. 

“He can’t breathe, he stopped breathing. Please, someone help! Where is the Tsahik?” 

Jake and the Sully boys emerged from inside their tent with a concerned look on all their faces. Neteyam spoke. “The Tsahik and tsakarem are away, at the Tree of Souls. They will not make it back in time.” 

Fuck, you thought. 

“Bring him here, NOW.” You spoke over the commotion. All the people who had gathered to see what was happening turned their gazes to you. Ewoaì ran to you. “Place him on the ground.” 

“Lo’ak.” You looked at the young boy, trying to assess the situation the best you could. You heard Lo’ak make his way towards you. 

“In my tent, there is gauze and disinfectant, it has the name 2% chlorhexidine isopropanol, find it and bring it. There should also be a yellow injection that says EPIPEN on it. Bring a syringe as well, no needle. Hurry.” 

You turned your attention to the man holding his younger brother in his arms. “Remove his necklace, now.” 

You started to check for signs of what was causing his asphyxiation. You opened his mouth and looked inside the best you could for food, or anything else that could be blocking his airways. You didn’t see anything. He didn’t seem to be having an anaphylactic shock; no rash and his heartbeat seemed strong. You were going to have to figure out the cause at a later time, but for now, your best bet, his best bet, was a tracheotomy. 

Lo’ak scrambled out of your tent, almost dropping some of the things on the way. He put them next to you in a hurry. 

You removed your hands from the boy’s body and moved quickly to apply some of the antiseptic on the gauze and wipe his throat with it. You got up, removed your knife from the holder on your chest, and made your way towards the nearest fire. You placed the blade over the fire and hoped that would do enough to sterilise it. For good measure, you also wiped it with the solution currently still on the gauze.

You made your way back to the boy and lifted your gaze to his brother. 

“This is going to hurt. I don’t have the tools to put him to sleep. I need you to hold him tightly by the arms. I need you to be strong for him. Strong heart. Neteyam, hold his feet. Don’t let go.”

You took your knife with one hand, whilst your other hand, tried to find the cricothyroid membrane, hoping it would be in a similar location to a human’s. Pushing the knife against his throat, you applied pressure and made a cut. The boy tried his best to recoil, but the men did a better job at keeping him down than you thought they would. You took the knife and placed it on the ground, then took the syringe Lo’ak gave you and hollowed it out. Carefully, you placed it inside the hole you made. You lowered your body and placed your mouth on the syringe. Sucking on it, you were relieved to feel air coming out, and you started breathing into the tube until you felt the boy starting to breathe again on his own. You removed yourself from his proximity and monitored until you were sure his breathing was stabilised. 

You let out a huge sigh of relief. You finally felt like you could look Ewoaì in the eye. “He’ll be fine.” 

His brother let out a shaky breath and extended his hand in front of you. Smiling softly, you took it in your own and felt his grip tighten at the contact. 

“Thank you. You saved his life. Thank you.”

“You can take him home. I’ll come by later and check on him, and if he’s breathing right, I’ll take it out.” 

You rose from the ground and tried to get your laboured breath to slow down. You did it. Tears started pooling in your eyes and you realise your hands were shaking when you went to wipe the them before they fell. Your attention turned to the Sully men waiting by your side. They all looked like they were -

-in awe. Neteyam was in awe. You were breathtaking. He heard this English word, angel, from his dad, a long time ago, and when he asked what it meant, his dad told him it was someone pure and good, who helps others and brings comfort in times of hurt…someone whose light can illuminate the darkest times. He didn’t know what that meant until he met you. You were an angel. There was so much hurt and darkness in you, but somehow you managed to spread light everywhere you went. No matter how hard life got, you never lost the desire to do good, to be good, and Neteyam didn’t think he could love you any more than he did right at that second. 

You gave him a quick look and he could see the fear in your eyes and the unshed tears, and the trembling hands. You were scared. Before he could move a muscle, Lo’ak took you and encircled his arms around you in a bear hug. You stood there in shock for a second while it registered, then slowly brought your hands up to his back to reciprocate the hug. You closed your eyes and nuzzled your head in his neck, and Neteyam moved his gaze to his feet, feeling the now all-too-familiar darkness of jealousy spread through him like poisonous gas. 

Eventually, Lo’ak let you go, and you moved closer to Jake. You were trying to meet his eyes, but he could tell you were scared… or ashamed. He saw you take a big breath and swallow audibly. 

“Jake, I am…”

“I know, Kid.” Neteyam was surprised to see his dad’s gaze, so angry and unflinching just 30 minutes ago, soften when his eyes looked at you. It was his turn now to hug you.

“You did good, kid.” 

You let out a soft cry and he saw the tears fall freely from your face. You smiled, and for the first time since you were back in his life, saw that you looked actually content. 

“Come.” Jake released you from the hug and made his way towards his tent. You followed suit and saw him picking up a gun from the floor and pointing at another. It was a standard assault rifle and you kneeled down next to it.

“Put it back together.” You did as you were told, skilfully putting each component of the weapon in its place. Before you moved on, you made sure everything was in order, and then you picked the appropriate 6.2x35mm 80-round magazine from the mix that was on the floor. You attached the magazine and took two more of them and placed them on your person. 

“Good. Let’s go.”

You and the three Sullys walked steadily for a while. Lo’ak and Jake went ahead while you and Neteyam stood back. He was close to you, too close, and you felt his right hand almost brushing yours. You looked up at him, and saw he was already watching you. His expression instantly sent shivers down your spine - it reminded you of how he used to look at you before. It was intense and soft and loving. You saw his eyes dropping to your lips, which parted in response and felt so exposed, so vulnerable… so fucking mad. He did not get to do this. He did not get to give up on you are like were a bad drug and then come back and give you this look. 

You expression hardened and you removed your eyes from his and stared at Jake’s back, which was all of a sudden a lot more interesting than it had been 5 seconds ago. You crossed your arms over your chest and walked in silence the rest of the way. 

You reached the spot soon after, and you noticed it was a similar training area, like the archery one, but this one had targets made of shrubbery that resembled a person, which had remnants of bullet holes in them. I see…

“Ok, kid, let’s see what you can do. Shoot the target in front of you, head and chest.” 

You took a big gulp and positioned your body. This was a lot of pressure, with the eyes of Toruk Makto and his heirs staring right at you. You took one last look at the weapon, then loaded it. You aim, then shoot. The gun surprises you a little, as you find the recoil a lot stronger than the handgun you usually practice on and the fire rate unlike anything you’ve ever experienced. Still, you adjust fairly quickly, then try again. Within 3 tries, you were able to hit the target exactly where Jake asked you to, and as to not waste any more ammo, you stop. 

Lo’ak is ululating and clapping, so happy for you, even though he was probably going to get in trouble for not being a better shooter than a girl who spent her whole life in a lab. He didn’t care. He loved seeing you do well, seeing you adapt. He couldn’t wait for the day you two would go on Ikran rides together and he could show you all the beauty of this world, the way you deserved.  

“I see. Neteyam, from now on, I want you both at gun practice and lessons, do you copy? She can learn everything else in the spare time, but I want her there. She’s way too good to waste on Pa’li training.”

“Yes, sir.” 

In the evening, you went by Ewoaì’s tent and checked on his younger brother. His airways were clear again so you were able to remove the syringe and stitch up the tracheotomy incision you performed earlier. You sat with them whilst inspecting the child’s condition. He wasn’t well. He had a fever and intermittent shortness-of-breath. His abdomen was in pain and he had a laceration forming on one of his calves. You made a note to bring some more supplies from the lab, and with that, took your leave. 

Dinner was pleasant, you ate with the Sullys in their tent, as you do most nights these days, and enjoyed the conversation that did not include you. It was nice to just be around their family and experiencing their tight-knit unit up close. There was laughter, and bickering, and animated discussions about what went on and what’s to come. Jake told Neytiri, Moat, Kiri and Tuk about Ewoaì and his brother, about the guns and the target practice, and they all looked at you with admiration. You blushed and thanked them, deciding the floor was particularly interesting tonight. 

“I think Y/N should sing for us! I haven’t heard her beautiful voice in such a long time!” Said Neytiri, smiling fondly

“Oh, I don’t have my guitar!”

You saw Neteyam’s eyes go wide, a rare sight for a man who prides himself on his composure. He stood up from his place around the fire pit, and went to a part of the tent that had a hidden nook in it; you’ve never seen what was there, but assumed there lay the family trinkets, Jake’s guns, clothes, etc. Neteyam came out from behind it holding… a guitar, you realised in shock. A big guitar, that would fit your new hands perfectly. Too stunned to speak, you just looked at him with your mouth agape, and he laughed at your expression. 

“This was supposed to go slightly differently, but alas, it’s as good a time as any to give this to you.” 

“It was supposed to be done for your birthday, but it took me a lot longer than I thought carving the wood.” 

Your eyes flickered between him and the guitar, and then turned to look at Kiri, who had a big smile and waited expectantly for your response.

“…you made this?”

“Well, me and Norm.” He looked almost bashful, and he reminded you so much of young Neteyam that your heart ached and you hoped you could prolong this moment forever. 

“He helped me with the design and the metal work, I had to hunt a few good animals to get the gut for the strings, but I think it turned out alright! He tried it and tuned it and it seemed to sound good, but I guess we’ll see when you play it.” 

You were still unsure what to say, unsure how to speak or form words or thoughts. 

“Neteyam, I don’t know what to say…”

“Say you’ll accept it? And that you’ll forgive me for what I said on your birthday? I really am a kurkung (asshole) sometimes, and I am sorry.” 

You nodded almost imperceptibly. His face broke out into a smile, a stupidly handsome smile that stopped your world and shifted it on its axis and you knew, you knew he was doing it, the impossible, he was getting you to forgive him, to forget the hurt and pain he put you through. And you hated yourself for being weak, but you also just allowed yourself a second, just a second to remember what it was like to have him in your life, have him radiate his warmth like he was the sun your soul orbited around.

“Will you sing now?” asked Tuk innocently, and you had to concede.

You toiled for a while with ideas of what song to pick. There was only one that came to mind in this exact moment, thinking of the man you still loved so much, loved as much as you did when you were 10 and he brought you the bracelet, at 13 when he took you on your very own magic carpet ride, at 16 when he held you while you cried in his arms after your dad, and every day in between, the man you needed like air, like that damn oxygen pack you hated, whose touch made you come alive and set your mind ablaze. 

You picked up the guitar and tuned the chords, slowly caressing them to get the sound just right. It was perfect, much better than the guitar you had at home. It was perfect. You started strumming a familiar song, that you never sang to them, to him, before, that you sang to yourself in that year apart and you wanted him to hear it, wanted him to know.

I have this dream you're doing cool shit

Having adventures on your own

You meet some woman on the internet and take her home

We never painted by the numbers, baby

But we were making it count

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

You looked at him, and sang to him. He looked sad, like it was hurting him to watch you, hear you again. You used to play just for him all the time, singing feelings you never had the guts to say out loud, and here you were again, confessing something probably better left unsaid.

We were something, don't you think so?

Rosé flowing with your chosen family

And it would've been sweet

If it could've been me

In my defence, I have none

For digging up the grave another time

But it would've been fun

If you would've been the one

You finished the song and heard clapping from all around you and knew you had to acknowledge the others eventually. With a last look at Neteyam, you turned around and smiled and did a little hand curtsy as a joke. 

It was a good night.

You made your way to your tent quite late that night and you saw Lo’ak waving at you until you entered, placing your new guitar slowly on the ground. You lay down and tried your very best to fall asleep, which you felt was impossible, considering you were still reeling after the day you had. Eventually, sleep came, and you woke up back in the linkpod, with Norm’s face coming into focus slowly.

“Hey, Ace. How was your day?”

“Eventful, to say the least. One of the kids in the village needed an emergency tracheotomy. Thank God I had some supplies in the tent, which reminds me - I need to prepare more that I will come to pick up tomorrow, or you can drop to my tent if you make your way to the village.”

“Jesus. What the hell happened?”

“I think it’s this damn virus, Norm. I monitored the kid for an hour in the evening, his airways cleared, but he still had shortness of breath, a fever, gastrointestinal symptoms, and this weird laceration on his calf. His brother’s not sick, so the virus is not transmitted through air - at least I hope not, considering I shared the air in the tent with the guy for a while.” 

“Fuck. I will go check on him tomorrow and maybe take some blood. You can run some tests if you want to and have the time.” 

“I have some blood from someone else with similar symptoms. I will run the tests tonight, can’t really sleep anyway.”

“Ok, be careful, alright? This is not a joking matter, especially to us.” 

“Aye aye, Captain.”

You changed in some clothes better suited for a night working in the lab, put on your goggles, lab coat and gloves, and got to work. You were half paying attention to prepping the laminar flow hood and half thinking of the crazy day you had, thinking of Neteyam and his smile and his apology and ugh, you hated him. 

You didn’t realise you forgot to put a mask on in your distracted state, and with the hood prepped and ready to go, you removed the blood from the fridge where you kept it while everything you ready and made your way to your work station.

In a second, everything changed. That’s all it took, a second for your whole life to completely turn upside down, yet again. It always only took a second. A second for your mum to take her last breath, a second for you to fall off an Ikran, a second to step on your dad’s remains, a second to lose the love of your life, a second to watch the vial drop and shatter all over the floor, splattering blood all over your body and on your face, in your open mouth that screamed in shock at the instant loss of a future. 

Tag list: @nuhteyam @eywas-heir @fanboyluvr @mashiromochi

[cvlutos]

“I like to Write”

| Repost: 02.18.23 | 1.1 K | Rated PG |

Malleus D., Rook H., Idia S., Azul A. X GN!Writer!Reader

| Characters18+ | Headcannons | Super Sweet | Suggestive w/ Idia | Fluff | Platonic/Romantic Relationships | Proceed with Caution, Beloved. |

T.Manor.Requests: For the Lovely @sidra-29 Thank you for the request!!

I was WAITING FOR THIS-

Ahem… Can I request Malleus, Rook, Idia and Azul with a Gn!Reader who writes stuff. Like books and all on the internet and sometimes they even write some special things for our boys

Take your time and stay healthy dear !

♡ Malleus Draconia ♡

Malleus Draconia is a lot of things, and one of them is being super supportive.

♡♡ Whether you’re his partner or simply his friend, he is guaranteed to be your biggest fan. Even if all you write is dribbles or short little things, nonetheless he’s reading. If you write fanfic, he will take it very seriously and be highly entertained by it. If it makes you happy, it makes him happier. If you want tips or constructive criticism, he’ll give it. If you just want his genuine reaction, he’ll do that as well.

♡♡ He keeps all of your work. Even if you hate it, he keeps it and stores it away, so that later you’ll see your progress, he’s super encouraging and won’t ever call your work badly, but he might allude to something not being your best piece, but he doesn’t fault for it. Anything your write for him, he wont stop talking about it. Like will casually bring it up, and if you dont write something for anyone else, he is so smug.

♡♡ He also likes to stand over you when you write. Sometimes he’s doing his own thing while you type. But when you write with pen and paper, he likes to stand over you. Silently watching your hand move back and forth. He likes your handwriting and likes seeing how you write. How your ‘a’s curl and how you dot your ‘i’s. For some odd reason, he enjoys it, and no matter how messy it is, he can read it well. [100% guarantee Lilia’s handwriting half the time is horrendous and unreadable.]

“Whatever you write, it is an absolute pleasure for me to read. Always.”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Rook Hunt ♡

Rook is somewhat of a writer himself, though he only sticks to poetry. Though finds beauty in longer length stories.

♡♡ If you write, he’s considering this a time for you and him to get snacks and read each other’s pieces. Aloud or silently, though over time, it changes into Rook wanting to act out scenes with you. Scenes with the slightest hint of romance. Whether you’re romantic or platonic, he’s going to want to act out scenes. He does love a good tragedy. But Rook is also super supportive and loves sharing your story ideas. If your write fanfic, Rook likes it too. A little too much to the point he’s subconsciously shipping people. He finds it so much fun, he won’t play matchmaker, but he loves watching it unfold naturally.

♡♡ Just like Malleus, he’s keeping all your writings. Each and every single one, half of which you aren’t sure how he found or got, but he has them. Heavily protected. But let you write him something specifically for him. He’s reading it every day, before bed, when he wakes up. He won’t tell anyone about it, but Vil knows, cause he accidentally mentioned it.

♡♡ Rook, also like Malleus, likes your handwriting. But oddly enough, has it memorized and if he wanted to, he could easily replicate it. Wouldn’t, but if he wanted to impersonate you, he could. Casually mentions it all the time. If you have a blog or any socials, he’s always in your comments sections acting up. Writing full poems and paragraphs.

“Oh ! Ça doit être la meilleure histoire écrite à ce jour~ Je dois en lire plus !”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Idia Shroud ♡

You and Him fanfic when?

♡♡ He’d never ask. He would rather let his HP drop to zero and face the final boss with low-grade weapons. In fact, Idia would never talk about you writing, and would simply leave you be. Not out of not caring but more out of fear that if he tries to talk about it, he’ll seem like some normie who knows not a damn thing.

♡♡ Idia had read fanfiction, that’s it. Has tabs saved, so if you do “official writing”, he’s going to be unsure of what to do. If you write fanfic though and post online, he’s sending in anonymous requests, anonymous commissions of his favorite characters. If you write for a fandom he doesn’t know, he’ll binge it.

♡♡ If you write anything for him, he’s done for. K.Oed. Zero Health, and he lost all his EXP. He’s at the beginner level and has to mass farm everything back before he can even read it. He’ll thank you, but won’t touch it for days before he forces himself too while screeching. If it’s cute and sweet, he’s a mess, snot bubbles and tears. If it is remotely sexual—well—he might need a new copy. Though unlike the first two, he doesn’t really care for you handwriting, it’s yours, but he likes to see you type, especially if you type hella fast.

“—YOU WHAT—I mean… Thank you for the… For the… Mm—Thank you for the story….”

══════ ♡ ══════

♡ Azul Ashengrotto ♡

*Cue him thinking of ways to make money with your writing*

♡♡ He views it as an admirable talent. Azul only writes essays, reports, documents. And a lot of contracts, so idle writing really isn’t his thing. He’s tried, but most of it comes out messy, so he sticks to reading. So if you write, he’s requesting something to pass the time. He also enjoys it when someone, especially your friends, asks what he’s reading. He will brag and be like “[Name]’s work. Oh, you haven’t read any.. Well then…” He’s an instigator.

♡♡ He will definitely mention your writing to his mother, especially if it was a gift from you for him about him. He’s rambling to his mom about how talented you are. He refuses to tell the twins about it, but they undeniably know and tease him about it. Any chance they get, they’ll use it as ammunition. But it won’t be just Azul, but you, too. I mean, you wrote it for their dormleader. You must love him~

♡♡ Other than that, Azul won’t interfere. If you want to share and write in his presence, you can. If you want to tell him your ideas and plans, hell gladly listen. Hell gives critics on overused ideas, views him as your personal editor. He will host events in the Mostro Longue for you, to give you more exposure. [A third of the event was the twins giving out threats if they didn’t support you.]

“I mean, you are, uh, dear to me. So your success is mine of course I would and will provide all I can.”

ⓒ 2023 love-thanatopsis — all rights reserved. Any sort of plagiarizing, copying, modifying, translating, editing of my works are strictly prohibited.

[strlingsav]

Hi! Congratulations on another wonderful piece, I thoroughly enjoyed Drive and reread it 5 times now🥰🥹

please feel free to ignore this request, but I'm so painfully addicted to your writing style (seriously you are my top favorite creator along with stararchangel) I would love to see your take on this, I have 2 ideas-

1) female reader x Simon Riley, she's civilian, and basically how they meet is somewhere random (like grocery store?) and he, a cold hardened killer, immediately melts and thinks she's the most beautiful piece of art he's ever seen. Now, he doesnt immediately approach her bc he's like, scared or dumbstruck, or maybe just doesn't wanna bother her? But he can either follow her out of the vicinity to find out where she resides/more about her (stalker lowkey ik) or maybe they can meet a second time, same place, but she accidentally bumps into him? Then they get to talking, he wants to pursue her etc AND LOTS OF SMUT OMG YOUR SMUT IS PEAK! I did read something similar from someone else, I think they did könig though, or even just another civilian female x ghost and he is just dumbfounded thinking she's the most beautiful things ever man

2) female reader x ghost, where she's like an insanely skilled killer, perfect sniper executions, can rip dude's faces off per say and is super fast and skilled in some fighting style like jujitsu, easily knock people off their feet ok? And basically she has a reputation for being excellent at her craft and SUPER well known not just within the army or whatever in the US but overseas like in the Middle East and Japan and Russia and shit man idk (honestly I was watching Hunter x Hunter thinking about the flesh collector girl that Kurapika had to bodyguard for, so what if the fReader was known too for like selling shit on the black market? And being the best of the best medic, head Doctor/ surgeon type shit), then she joins task force 141 and they see all her badass-ness in action and how she just fucks dudes up and gets head shots from crazy far sniper locations and fixes up awful injuries like it's nothing and yea then ghost also falls in love w her and LOTS OF SMUT AGAIN pls

Thank you SO MUCH FOR READING! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽😭

Thank you so so much for the kind words and for reading!! (You're so sweet omg) I'm so happy you enjoy it.

This'll have to be a two-parter for both requests, but here's your first!! Second will come later.

Thank you again, I hope you enjoy 🤍

Afar

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

— Simon's enamoured with you.

Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

You were hesitant about your friends' choice to meet for drinks at a dive-bar downtown. You knew the place; a rustic establishment tucked into a quiet corner of the city. It was well known for the crowd it attracted: blue-collar workers, bikers and the like. You'd never stepped foot inside, it's outward appearance alone was daunting. It was a historic monument in the city, given away by the dying neon of the 'open' sign and weathered letters above the entrance.

It was filled with a haze of cigarette smoke and the smell of whiskey and beer. Neon lights plastered on the walls, dated decor with posters of vintage cars and women- it certainly wasn't an obvious choice.

Your eyes shifted around the bar, classic-rock playing softly in the background, the sound of pool balls clacking against each other- it almost made you uncomfortable how much you stood out among the predominantly masculine crowd. You were still dressed in your office attire, and your friend was no different. She insisted it was a great place for drinks after work, and the men never bothered her.

You gave her the benefit of the doubt, sipping your beer slowly while she chatted about the newest developments in her love life. Your eyes met, adding a nod or a smile every so often, but you were on edge; your guard was up just in case.

Simon had seen you walk in.

His hand was clasped around the glass of bourbon, perched at the bar with tense shoulders. Another deployment finished meant he would spend most of his free time there, where people tended to mind their own, and didn't ask any questions. He liked the solitude, liked knowing that no one knew who he was- or cared.

He could drown out the flurry of thoughts and internal conflict with whiskey, focusing solely on the sweet hint of caramel, the bitterness of burning tobacco and melody of classic rock in the background. It was his sanctuary, the place he had no distractions, no obligations, only staring down the amber liquid in his glass, ice cubes pressing against his lips as he took a sip.

His attention was quickly grabbed by the bell above the door, ringing just loud enough to make his head turn. His eyes met yours for a fleeting moment, before you turned back to the woman you were with.

He certainly hadn't expected to find himself giving you a second look. He didn't consider himself to be the kind of man that stared at attractive women. His composure had cracked just a bit though, enough to let his gaze follow you through the bar as you took a seat within his view.

He was quickly enamoured, something that hadn't happened to him before- aside from the early years of puberty, and it terrified him. How you walked in, brushing your hair from your face, the way your hips swayed when you walked- you'd already more than caught his attention.

He swallowed, harshly. He took another sip of his drink, a deep breath in as he finished the last of it. Maybe it was a fleeting attraction, maybe he was just sexually frustrated, gratifying it with the first woman he saw. As he peered over his shoulder, watching you lean forward, smile softly- fuck, if it didn't make his stomach lurch. He wanted to know you.

Your pencil skirt more than complemented your body, and he'd noticed. The silk blouse that fit just right around the peak of your breasts- he stared forward, shutting his eyes as he tried to shake you from his mind.

He couldn't help it, though. Watching you from his periphery, beer in hand as you crossed your legs, he heard you laugh. He forced himself to lean over his drink, tune out your conversation. It wasn't right to listen, wasn't right to think about a woman, a stranger, the way he was.

But the sound of your voice carried, and he could practically taste the shampoo in your hair, the fading scent of perfume. He wondered if all of you was as sweet as you smelled. As an even nastier thought crossed his mind, what he'd do to have your body in his hands, his nostrils flared as he sucked in a deep breath. He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket as he slid from his stool, marching outside. He didn't allow himself to look back, didn't want to be the one to make you uncomfortable. He was sure you were used to being leered at- how couldn't you be?

He was transfixed with the shape of your lips, the way your eyes crinkled at the edges when you laughed, how you'd lick your lips after a swig of beer. It was too much- all too much for him to handle while a few drinks in, and he refused to be the asshole that hit on you in a bar. He knew he treasured the peace and quiet, he imagined you did too.

He stepped outside, the cool night air on his skin helped drop his rising temperature, bringing him back to reality. The lit cigarette in his hand glowed as he sucked in a breath, fighting the urge to throw it away and stalk back inside to you. He wondered whether you had a boyfriend, perhaps a husband- someone you'd go home to that would never know just how lucky he is. Who wouldn't worship you the way he knew he could, treat you the way he would. Make you feel the way he would. He clenched his jaw, already despising the bastard.

His thoughts got ahead of him, and his cigarette was already burned to the filter before he realized he'd been stewing outside for at least ten minutes. He flicked it from his fingers, watching it sizzle out on the pavement. He cleared his throat, turning to open the door when you appeared on the other side.

His breath caught in his chest. Up close, he could see the true curves of your cheekbones, the allure of your lips, the sparkle in your eye as he interrupted the conversation with your friend. He could even smell you better, and it hit him like a wall. His heart pounded in his ears, aching to say something-anything, but he refused to fall victim to his inflated desires. He didn't know if you'd reciprocate it, anyway.

You stopped and stared, eyes meeting his as he stepped out of the way, holding the door for the two of you.

"Thank you," You gave him a small smile, your eyes still on his even as you were clear of the door.

He was tall- and big. A mass of muscle that caught your eye. His eyes were dark, plagued with some sort of stress as his brows furrowed. You noticed the way his gaze trailed down your body, and felt the twinge of heat rise up your chest and neck.

He had short hair, brunet, disheveled. He was handsome. A crooked nose, defined cheekbones and jaw, a hint of stubble across his face.

You turned back, taking one last look as the two of you made your way to the taxi, waiting on the curb.

The second time your friend invited you out, you'd had the weekend off. Free time was never a guarantee in your line of work. A demanding boss, deadlines, company meetings; usually your weekends were filled with errands. She'd caught you at a good time, and asked if you liked the bar she took you to.

So you ventured out again, happy to be free of your office clothes, and took a seat in the same booth. This time, you were feeling less on edge, more excited to be out, enjoying yourself. Your friend brought her current girlfriend- one you'd met only once before, and weren't sure how many more times you'd see her.

"I'll get us a round," You said, setting your hands on the table as you stood up.

"If you insist," Your friend grinned, watching you with a smirk, her arm over her girlfriend's shoulders.

You rolled your eyes, "You're paying next."

She didn't say anything, but you kept your eyes on her with a playful glare as you walked off to the bar.

You stopped at the bar, and stood on your toes, trying to catch the attention of the bartender who had his back turned polishing glasses.

Simon couldn't believe he was seeing you again. You'd been on his mind since he last saw you, flashes of your lips, your eyes distracting him from everyday tasks. He even took it a step further to imagine what you felt like beneath him, the way you'd say his name as you came around him. He spent most nights in a sweat, desperately chasing relief. It didn't work. He didn't think it ever would.

He turned his head ever so slightly, and you met his eyes.

"Hi," You said softly, a bashful smile over your face as you realized it was the same good-looking man that held the door for you.

He could feel his heart beat just a bit faster- his eyes trailing over your face.

"Y'alright?" He asked.

His voice was deep, raspy, British. You licked your lips.

"Just trying to order some drinks," You said. "I don't think it'll be happening anytime soon."

He looked over at the bartender.

"Oi, mate," He called, catching his attention.

"Thanks," You said.

You were inches from him, your hip nearly touching his arm, and he noticed. He could feel it, feel the heat emanating off of you, smell that same delicious fucking smell that drove him insane. This time, you were in a shirt that showed a tease of cleavage and tight jeans that clung to every curve and detail of your body. As he leaned back ever so slightly, taking in the sight of your ass, he let out a soft breath.

"You're the guy that held the door for me a couple weekends ago, right?"

You were waiting for the bartender to make your drinks, and couldn't help but strike up a conversation with him. Your eyes moved to his fingers, wrapped around the glass, and you bit the inside of your cheek.

He definitely works with his hands, you thought. He did something that formed callouses along the crown of his palms and helped keep the obvious tone of his arms. Construction, maybe?

"Yeah," He nodded, taking a sip of his drink. You watched intently, his lips plush and inviting, wet with liquor.

"That was my first time being here," You looked away, feeling intimidated by his gaze.

He was staring so intensely, you almost felt suffocated. But you liked it. Liked the way it made you feel, liked how he shifted in his seat to face you, how you could imagine your legs over his broad shoulders.

"You like it?" He asked, raising a brow.

"It's not bad," You smiled. You just couldn't stop fucking smiling. "Company's good and the people seem nice enough."

"You with your friends?"

You nodded. "And you?"

"I like drinkin' alone."

You tried to hide the frown that crossed your face.

"But I don't mind talkin' to you."

He was so damn charming- too charming. He was definitely good at sweet-talking. Your cheeks burned, wondering what else he was good at.

"That's sweet," You grinned, your hand landing on his arm.

He could've fucked you then and there, your hand on his arm lit up his entire body. He felt himself harden under the restraints of his jeans. He'd never gotten hard from a woman touching his arm before, and he wondered when he became so goddamn pathetic. He didn't mind it though, not if you kept talking and smiling like you were.

You introduced yourself, holding your hand out for him to shake. He seemed entertained by the idea, a small smile lifting his lips as his hand engulfed yours. He knew your skin would be soft, knew you'd have a light touch.

"Simon," He nodded. "Don't let me keep you from your friends."

"I think they're more than okay." You looked over your shoulder at the two of them, kissing in the booth, not paying a sliver of attention to anyone else. "Let me just drop these off for them," You took the drinks off the counter.

You came back with a purpose, a new mission for the evening; taking him back to your place, or his- whichever was closest. You had no idea he was thinking the exact same thing.

You and Simon continued your conversation, leading to the revelation that he was in the army, a soldier. If it was even possible, it turned you on even more.

"I work in an office," You said, stirring your drink with the thin, black stir-stick. "Nothing as interesting as that."

"I remember your blouse- that skirt you had on," He looked at you, a grin playing at his lips.

"You remember my outfit?" You giggled.

He nodded, "Couldn't forget it," He admitted, hoping it wouldn't scare you off.

"Didn't know I had that much influence," You raised your brows. "You should've introduced yourself then. We could've been having this conversation weeks ago."

"Didn't want to disturb you," He said, his palm pressing flat along your thigh. Your eyes drifted to the source of warmth on your leg, then looked back at him. "M'alright with where we are now, though."

"That's a shame," You sighed, now two cocktails deep, and undeniably aroused. He waited, brows furrowing at your words. "Think we'd be better off at my place."

He looked shocked, not sure how to proceed- whether it would be okay for him to accept, or make him appear too eager. But Christ, if he wasn't already burning up, desperate to get you undressed, kissing every inch of your body until you begged for him. He couldn't resist.

"Y'might be right," He drawled, his palm trailing further up your thigh, his thumb resting in the crease of your thigh and hip.

"Then what are we waiting for?"

He grinned, standing up from his seat, dropping a wad of cash on the bar.

"'M ready when you are, sweetheart."

He drove a new pickup truck, opening the door for you to step in. You sat comfortably, trying to restrain yourself as much as possible, but as he reached out to turn on the heat and you caught sight of the tattoos that engulfed his arm, you sighed deeply.

You were already aching, dying for a taste, anything to sate the throbbing in your abdomen. You could feel the wetness dripping from you, and you were sure you'd already soaked a spot on your panties.

When he set his palm on your thigh again, you exhaled, setting your hand overtop his. His hands were rough, worn; and you couldn't wait to feel them against your bare skin. You glided his hand carefully, slowly, up your leg, urging him to feel you, touch you.

"You can touch me, Simon," You whispered.

He looked over, his eyes narrowing as you leaned back, spreading your thighs a bit.

"I want you to touch me."

"Christ," He muttered, his fingers pressing against your pussy from over your jeans.

The pressure pushed the seam into your clit, and you let out a soft sigh. He watched with wide eyes, heavy breathing as he moved his fingers in small circles, forcing your jeans against you. You writhed under the pressure, whimpering softly, clinging to his wrist with an iron grip.

He listened to the sounds you made, trying not to close his eyes and savour it, forcing himself to keep his eyes on the road. If that was all it took to have those sounds of pleasure coming from your lips, he couldn't imagine what you'd sound like when he was inside you. He could hardly wait to show you the attention you deserved, make you cum endlessly, beg for his cock.

The trip to your house wasn't long, and when you entered the apartment, he had you pressed against the entryway. His hand on your waist, the other above your head, you stared into his eyes.

"Been dyin' t'get my hands on you since I first saw you," He whispered, goosebumps exploding over the surface of your skin.

"You shouldn't have waited," You said back, your face tilting up to his.

His hand left your waist, his thumb running across your bottom lip as he stood up straight. Letting out a heavy sigh, he grabbed your hips and yanked your pelvis flush with his.

"You're a fuckin' tease," He breathed.

He pressed his lips against yours, already a hungry and devoted action. Your lips felt like velvet, you tasted like a sweet fruit- cranberries, from your vodka-cran. He moaned softly, cherishing the feeling of your mouth against his, your hands coming to his face, delicately holding him in place.

He loved the way he made you look so small, so innocent against his larger frame. He'd have an easy time moulding you into positions, right where he wanted you. You felt so good, pressed against him, your soft little whimpers spurring him on. He introduced his tongue, gliding it against yours with no hesitation, tasting you.

"Show me your room," He said, breathless as he pulled away.

He was slow in his movements, his tall frame circling you like prey. He took a seat on the edge of your bed, thighs spread as he leaned forward. His fingers grabbed the hem of your shirt, rubbing it between his fingers.

"Take it off for me, sweetheart," His raspy voice was low, eyes unflinching as he watched you. "Nice n' slow." His elbows rested on his thighs as he watched you.

Your hands went to the hem, lifting it off your waist and over your shoulders. You unbuttoned your jeans, too, sliding them down your thighs and stepping out of them. You stood in your bra and panties before him, feeling a bit nervous with his unfaltering gaze, his eyes taking in every inch.

He was practically eating you alive. He trailed up and down your form, a strangled sigh coming from him as he watched your breasts push against your bra, thong clinging to you nicely with the wetness between your thighs. He couldn't believe he'd gotten you in his grasp, so willing and ready to do anything he asked. It made his cold heart melt, watching the way your hip shifted nervously.

"C'mere," He said, leaning back.

Your feet pushed forward, standing before him, and he grabbed your hips as he tugged you onto his lap. He let his hands reach around to sit on your ass, exhaling, nearly exploding with how good you felt in his hands. Such silky skin, he couldn't help but let his hands roam.

"Pretty little thing you are," He whispered against your throat, his nose nuzzled against your chin.

Your eyes fluttered shut as he pressed a soft kiss to your neck, his tongue sticking out to lick a short strip over your skin. He took his time, lips exploring your neck.

"Simon," You sighed, hands reaching for his forearms. "Please." You wanted him to touch you already, your pussy was aching from being so aroused.

"I'm takin' my time with you, sweetheart," Was his response.

You shivered, his hands running up and down your back, reaching for your ass. You arched your back, chest flush against his. He wanted to memorize every curve, learn you inside and out until he could blindly please you.

"Take off my shirt for me."

You obeyed, nimble fingers working quickly to unbutton his shirt, eyes widening as you pulled it open. His chest was muscular, and your eyes trailed down to his abs, scars scattered over his torso. There was a trail of coarse hair that disappeared into his jeans. You felt your pussy clench, a fire that was already raging in your womb exploded tenfold.

You tugged the shirt off his shoulders, breath hitting his chest as you sighed, nearly riding his lap.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to your lips. You moaned, exhaling harshly through your nose as his tongue slid inside you mouth, gliding against yours. Your head went dizzy- intoxicated, drowning in the taste of his lips. You never wanted to pull away and your fingers reached his jaw as you leaned into him, hunger in your kiss.

Your hands then ran down his chest, over the hard muscles on his torso. He grunted softly, his body jerking as you felt his shoulders and biceps.

His hands reached around, unclasping your bra. He let it drop, watching you pull your arms from the straps. His eyes flashed to your breasts, one hand reaching up to cup your breast. Your head fell back, the ache in your pussy only getting stronger as he massaged your breasts. His thumb grazed your nipple, making you gasp softly.

"So fuckin' beautiful," He groaned.

You lifted your head, eyes boring into his.

He leaned in again, licking your breast before he took your nipple in his mouth, tongue swirling around it before flicking over it. You gasped, fingers lifting to his hair.

"You taste so good, sweetheart," He pulled back, lips finding your neck in a passionate kiss. "Bet your cunt tastes even better."

You sighed aloud, your hips jumping against his crotch. His words sent a shiver of desire straight through you, fingernails digging into his shoulders. He lifted you up with ease, turning to settle you on the bed.

Your legs were still wrapped around his waist, his lips back on yours for a moment before he kissed down your neck. Travelling over your breasts, he left bruises on the soft flesh, moving to your stomach, then hip bones.

His fingers tugged at your panties, parting them from your body with a bit of resistance from your wet core, then slid them down your legs, discarding them on the floor.

"Fuck," He mumbled. "You're soaked," He growled.

His lips attached to your inner thigh, throwing your legs over his shoulders. Your fingers reached into his hair, exhaling as you waited, hardly able to contain the thrumming in your chest, your desperate writhing.

His tongue licked a stripe through your folds and your hips jumped when he ran over your clit. Softly exhaling, you squeezed your thighs together around his ears.

He groaned softly, doing it again to receive the same reaction. His tongue worked a bit harder now, moving in circles over your clit. You were already wet- he knew that well. He wanted to eat your pussy for his own pleasure. He listened intently to the beautiful moans from your lips, his cock hardening even more when your fingers tugged and pulled at his hair.

You let out a soft moan, fingers curling into his hair, tugging as he lapped generously. The sounds of your pussy on his tongue were vulgar- echoing around your room. You were writhing in his grasp, even as his hands came to your hip bones to steady you.

He slid a finger inside you, curling it up against the rough spot inside your pussy. Your chest lifted, panting as he continued the motion, tongue still on your clit.

"God- Simon," You croaked, shivering. He adored the way his name sounded from your mouth.

It didn't take long for your climax to near, having already been turned on for so long, you were just waiting for his touch. You shifted with restlessness, and when he added a second finger, you knew your release would come any moment.

"I'm almost there," You whispered, voice hoarse as your abdomen clenched down.

"Cum for me, sweetheart," He cooed, fingers still coaxing it out of you.

Your eyes rolled shut, pussy squeezing down as you came- hard. He didn't relent, pleasure coursing through you as he continued his movements. He could hardly move his fingers at a certain point, your pussy constricting around him.

"Fuckin' hell," He murmured, eyes watching your body as you came.

You sighed softly, finally recovering from your orgasm, and Simon stood to his feet, face wet with your cum.

He leaned forward, "You wanna taste yourself?"

Your body shivered, meeting him halfway, pressing your lips to his. You made an effort to find his tongue, moaning at the taste of yourself on his tongue; mostly bitter, a hint of sweetness.

He stood up, yanking the belt from his jeans. You gulped, eyes watching with anticipation.

"I want to feel you," You said.

"Go on, love."

You reached out, fingers undoing his button, then his zipper. You yanked his pants down over his thighs. His bulge in his briefs was larger than expected- much larger. You pulled his briefs down, met with his large cock. Your hands immediately reached out to feel him, and his head fell back.

He was so used to fucking his own hand, the skin of yours was like satin on his cock. He choked back a gasp.

"Yeah," He groaned. "Just like that sweetheart," He praised, watching you twist your wrist, hand running up and down his length. You sighed softly, hips rocking as you listened to him, burning desire as he praised you.

You shifted, thighs rubbing together to create friction on your clit.

"Can't wait anymore," He said. "Lie back."

You did as he said, and he crawled over you, kicking his jeans off. He grabbed your thighs, tugging them to his waist as he lined his cock up to your entrance, tip rubbing against your clit.

"Can I?"

"Yes," You breathed. "Please."

"I'll give you just what you deserve, sweetheart," He grunted, his cock sliding slowly into your pussy. He let out a long sigh, basking in the way your walls took him in, how easy it was to glide in against the natural lubrication.

You moaned, your pussy stretching to accommodate his large size. It was uncomfortable for a few moments, before he began thrusting his hips against you. He leaned down, head beside yours as he rounded his hips, nudging his cock deep inside. You were all moans, body no longer able to do anything but obey. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him.

"Takin' this cock so well," He said in your ear. Your eyes nearly rolled in your skull, squeezing shut. "Gonna make you cum for me."

"Keep talking like that, please," You whispered, eyes opening to watch him.

He groaned, "Been wonderin' what you'd sound like on my cock."

"Oh my-" You couldn't even manage to get out another word, another coherent sentence, so you relied on his name. "Simon."

"Fuck," He groaned in your ear. "So fuckin' wet."

"So good," You breathed.

His hips drove into yours, his pelvis hitting your clit repeatedly. His thick cock massaged your walls and it was nearly too much. You arched your back, toes curling, thighs clenching around his waist.

His body pressed against yours, neck craned to look at you from beside your head, watching your lips part as you gasped for air; he wanted to etch the vision behind his eyes. Your skin was flushed, fingers clawing at his back, hand cradling his head against your neck. He was repeatedly burying himself inside you, massaging your clit at the same time, and you couldn't hold back.

"F-fuck," You moaned. "Fuck- Simon," You gasped, pussy clenching around him.

"You gonna cum for me?" He asked, his hand moving back to grip your thigh.

You choked out a 'yes' as he bottomed out inside you, tip pressing against your cervix. You felt the sparks of pleasure level out over your body, enveloping you in a full-fledged fire, every nerve lit up with pleasure.

Your chest met his, tensing as your orgasm made your body rigid. He didn't relent, though the way you held him so tightly and whispered his name made it increasingly difficult not to.

"Simon," You moaned, eyes widening as you looked at him, lips parted with pleasure. "So good, Simon."

He groaned, listening to your swollen lips call his name, his cock twitched inside you. Your small frame, innocent eyes, soft thighs wrapped around him while he stroked his cock in your tight, wet pussy; if he was a lesser man be would've finished inside you immediately without hesitation. But he wanted to experience it all for as long as he could.

"That's right, sweetheart," He rolled his hips again. "Fuck you feel good."

Your fingernails scraped down his back, his muscles flexing as he moved. He exhaled sharply. Your thighs were squeezing his waist, and his fingers were surely bruising the delicate skin, but you didn't care.

He devoured your moans with his lips, relishing the way you still groaned, even with his tongue in your mouth he could hear you. He could still feel you too, your sensitive pussy clenching around him every time he hit your clit.

"I want you to cum again," He said. "Let me make you cum again," He pleaded. He so desperately needed to see it again, needed to see you fall apart for him, call out for him.

"Don't stop," You said, pressing a kiss to his neck. It was desperate, an attempt to make him feel just as good as he had for you, and you kissed up his jaw when you heard a satisfied groan in his throat.

Your eyes rolled back, abdomen and pussy clenching as the tension in your stomach began to build again. It was unraveling quickly, crumbling when he praised you, talked to you, even looked at you.

"I'm-I'm close," You said, clinging to his shoulders. "Again."

He nearly laughed. "Yeah, love. Let it out, give it to me."

"Yes," You moaned, head thrown back. "Fuck yes."

Your climax wasn't far, another wave of pleasure pulling you under. You struggled for breath, your eyes squeezing shut, fingers digging into him.

He let out a short gasp, feeling exactly how tight you could hug his cock, and it sent him over the edge at nearly the same time.

"Where do you want it?" He asked, pulling out.

He was massaging his cock, and you took over, lowering yourself as he released over your breasts, thrusting forward in your hand.

"Fuuck," He drawled, seeing your breasts painted white with his cum.

You sat back, staring up at him. He leaned forward, kissing you softly.

"Definitely should've said something sooner," You teased.

"I've got you here now," He said, a small smile on his glowing face. "That's all I care about."

[btr-rewatch]

Big Time Rush Season 1, Episode 18: “Big Time Concert” (Part 3)

Highlights: 3/4 of Big Time Rush move on with their lives.

In my previous post, we'd just left off at the scene where Hawk and his assistant have made the decision to target James in their big "take down Rocque Records once and for all" plan.

Over at Rocque Records, Kelly informs Gustavo that since Griffin spent $2 million on the band, it'll take that same amount to get them back.

This scene brings back such memories of a younger me being so intrigued by Kelly's necklace because it looks like big pieces of Orbit chewing gum.

I just. I want to chew on that necklace, ok?

Kelly thinks she's figured out a way they can get that kind of money, and Gustavo is thrilled...until Kelly tells him he's got to sell his mansion.

Meanwhile, everyone is settling back in at the Knight house (minus James, who's out riding his tiny bike around and brooding). I like the touch of having the wall of family pictures that contain actual photos of the actors—I spot a handful of Kendall's headshots that I recognize. I especially like that there's the same photo twice.

Rather than seeing it as a funny mistake on the part of the set designer, I choose to believe either

Mama Knight likes that picture so much that she had to include it in two different frames

Or, alternatively, someone (maybe Katie or Carlos) decided at some point to pull a prank where they slowly start replacing every photo on the wall with that one single picture and see how long it takes before anyone notices.

Kendall asks Logan to go over where they are currently in their "Rebuild our Minnesota dreams schedule," and can I just say that the guys (minus James) have slipped back into their lives as nobodies in Minnesota seamlessly? Like, I know it was James's dream, and the whole reason they went was because Kendall's offer made it so James could have that shot at stardom, and Kendall never really wanted to be in a boyband, but still. They had so many opportunities in that short time, experienced so much, made friends, established romantic relationships, and saw how amazing that life can be. You'd think they'd all be mourning at least a little. Unless they're just in a different type of denial than James was.

Although, I suppose their response can make sense when you look at their individual personalities. Logan's pragmatic, so I'm sure it could have been easy for him to brush off their brief taste of stardom with self-assurances that it wasn't a sturdy, logical career to pursue anyway, and failure was much more likely than success in the long run.

Carlos is such a carefree, go-with-the-flow, high-on-life guy that he can find happiness anywhere. He rolls with the punches and just looks to the next exciting thing (ie. becoming a radioactive superhero. Love that for you, Los)

Kendall is a little trickier because he does kind of have an obsessive personality, and he's just as determined about things as James. I'm almost surprised he doesn't take the end of the band, his chance with Jo, and so on harder. But then there's the part of me that says there are other things at play that overpower whatever sadness Kendall might have, such as him seeing it as a chance to finally relax for a bit. He'd been working so hard to hold everything together in L.A., churning out pep talks and dealing with Gustavo and constant shenanigans. He can take a breath now. Also! While I don't think Kendall has necessarily had a difficult life overall (it's clear he's had a good, loving upbringing, has a nice house, etc) I don't think his life has been easy. He watched his parent's marriage fall apart when he was super young; his dad walked out, his mom has had to work her butt off to support him and Katie, and Kendall also has a job (I think the only one of the boys who does) to help bring in extra money. That kid knows that sometimes life throws you a curveball, and you've got to hold your head up and just keep going. No time for a pity party or wallowing in "what ifs."

So yeah, anyway...tangent over. My favorite part of this little scene is the look Kendall gives to Logan after he reads the first item off their list.

Look at him. There's so much love in that look. He's so proud of Logan going after his dreams. I love Kendall, and I love their friendship, and I love this stupid show.

And I need to briefly get off topic here solely to mention how much I've always liked Logan's accent. Love the way he says words. He turns the short "e" sound into short "i" in so many things. "Ten" becomes "tin," and "Kendall" becomes "Kindall." I also have a distinct memory of one episode where he manages to turn the two-syllable word "ruin" into the single-syllable word "roon." Always got a kick out of that.

With all this sidetracking, it is going to take me FOREVER to get through this episode. I am barely twenty minutes in.

After Super Carlos bursts into the room and announces they're going to start righting the wrongs they left behind when they moved to L.A., the guys go to apologize to Mrs. Magicowski. They promised to shovel her walkway if she let them use her car to get to the audition, then they ditched her and went to be a band, lol. I love Mrs. Magicowski; she's such a sweet old woman. I want to know more about the relationship the boys have with her. I imagine they took good care of her prior to leaving—checking in on her, shoveling, raking leaves, bringing her meals—and in return, she was like a grandma to all of them.

They look ridiculous, btw.

I mean, Kendall I can excuse, but Logan and Carlos look like they've just rung a doorbell and are waiting for candy on Halloween. Bunch of weirdos.

No, wait, you know what? This is exactly how they looked on Halloween night as kids, I guarantee it. Carlos as a superhero, Logan as a doctor, Kendall as a hockey player, and James like a rockstar. Speaking of James, what's he up to?

Oh.

Shake it off, Jamesy.

Also, the tiny bike still is very funny, but @day-dreams22, I'm pretty sure you're right that it's a BMX bike. After he gets hit, there's a shot where you can see the words "goose" on the bike, which means it's likely a Mongoose-brand BMX trick/stunt bike. And look at that hop off the curb. James Diamond, secret BMX stunt rider CONFIRMED.

Ok, you know what? I was aiming for 4 posts total for this episode, but it looks like it'll end up being 5 because I'm rambling so much during these. Hope no one minds having to split it into so many parts, but I worry if they're too long, they'll be difficult to read and get through. Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun being able to just go on about whatever, haha.

And James getting hit by a car seems like a fitting place to leave this episode. Hope he survives <3

[i-just-want-to-destroy]

the last chapter for walking study in demonology was CRAZYYY im so happy you updated. im so curious about what your thought process in writing it and if youre willing to share?? you dont have to if you dont want to btw! but in any case thank u so muchhh

hey thank you! appreciate it

okay super long answer below

honestly this one was difficult. idk if its bc its been a while since i write fics from scratch so i might have forgotten how difficult the whole thing is, but this one was tough. ch 8 wasnt from scratch tho cos i had the drafts since like 2022 or smthg lol

ik the formatting is non conventional in ch 8 and i was aware that itd be hard to read for some people. but i do think abt the readers often when i write.. mainly not what the readers want in terms of storyline (altho ofc i consider this too sometimes lol) but what the reading experience will be like for them.

i.e consider if id written the chapter in a linear, traditional way and narrated the confrontation between 1-A and LoV (or even other wackier “Villains” like godzilla and invading aliens or whatever). the truth is, although def easier to read, that version will be very boring.

(i know bc i tried and scrapped those versions.)

(im sure a better writer can write it interestingly but i am not a better writer.)

the thing w writing these traditional fight scenes is tht im sure — im 1000% positive in fact — that the readers have read it before. there r literally thousands and thousands of bnha fics out there with great fight scenes, on top of the actual manga, where youve read these characters fight their assorted villains. why would i make you read that again, esp when i know i cant do it better? i already know the readers r just gonna skim the chapter if thats the case. ive been a reader, ik what fic fatigue is like — esp with bnha when everythings been rehashed infinity times in infinity different ways.

same thing also applies with even the “metaness” of the fic itself.

i dont want the fic to come off like its talking down to readers, whom i believe alrdy have the instinctual knowledge of what the fic is trying to do. im willing to bet tht the readers have read something similar to this before, like multiverses n time loop n meta stuff, also cosmic horror. i still end up narrating some things even though often i feel im being too explanatory. i jst feel like the readers will know what im talking abt by virtue of their familiarity to the tropes involved.

therefore the least i can do is serve it in an interesting way, aka the fuckass formatting. like although the tropes im doing r done so many times before, at the very least i cld let the readers hopefully have fun by piecing it together puzzle-style with the fragmented formats — so its more of an experience thing rather than jst a lore dump. i dont like lore dumps, they can be condescending.

demonology def doesnt succeed in avoiding that however. in fact its fallen to that exact trap. ch 4 and 6, those r very lore-dumpy. i tried to make it fun w the humor dialogue style but its not perfect. i know tht by ch 8 that tricks alrdy old, and the readers have all the puzzle pieces at this point anyway so itd be even more repetitive than it alrdy is. even so i still feel im being too explanatory esp with the emotional arcs but thats a skill issue on my part

overall i feel demon can be more oblique and “elegant” in its mechanics.

but anyway, it IS crack… it was never meant to promise intelligence, least of all eloquence lmfao. its never meant to be taken seriously.

of course, at this point u can tell that i actually am taking it pretty seriously LOL. i never meant to write meta fiction. i have some gripes w it, namely that i feel meta fiction is used by weaker writers as a storytelling crutch n it can come off as lazy — demon is guilty of this too. but now that i end up writing meta fiction, i might as well fucking commit and try to push it as crazy as i can. if its not gonna be good, at least it can be interesting, or weird.

blah blah im yapping. point is, ik the end product might look very “random” and pastiche as if i was jst doing whatever i wanted … which, true … but it went thru a lot of trials and errors until this final version. you would not believe the amount of time ive rewritten this chapter, due to all those ^ considerations.

however i always knew i was going to start ch8 with the classic mary sue “fanfiction” — that segment was written a long time ago like in 2022/2023?? and mostly stayed unedited since, unlike the rest of the fic which i stripped and repainted and restripped again lol

ok thanks for reading abt my wack anime crack fic writing process that, again, shld not be taken seriously. i will admit however that i do put a lot of effort n heart into it so i cannot pretend i am aloof and disaffected. id be lying if i say its been easy. i consider it a miracle i updated at all. i keep saying its not meant to be taken serious but if i managed to make it even a little bit meaningful, id be very happy.

ah also. bnha ending actually forced me to scrap a lot of things too. but it kinda ends up for the better, maybe.

[starsurfacemortalkombat]

Super fun idea (imo) - soft play! 🎠🪁Could you do MK1 Johnny Cage with a baby regressor (and toddler if that's fine) at one? Ty!

Hi!! Yes, I'm so sorry for how late this is!!! :(

This is a Johnny Cage w/ Babyspace Regressor pt 2, but the first for Toddlerspace Regressor!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

CG Johnny Cage MK1 w/ Baby(pt 2)-Toddlerspace Regressor Hcs

⭐ He loves any and all regressors, but toddlers are his best fit!!! He’s really good with baby regressors too!!

⭐ We’ll focus on toddler regressor for a second:

⭐ Energetic toddlers that like to run around his house? My, my your energetic!! Thank goodness your Dada can keep up because he’s just that awesome! 😎

⭐ A crafty toddler? Amazing!! He loves crafty regressors, toddler or baby!!

⭐ Your making a mac and cheese picture? Wait a minute, is that his mac and cheese? Did you ask to use that? . . . Maybe he can let it go this one, his baby’s work looks so gorgeous!!

⭐ A sneaky toddler or baby? Now, now Mister/Missy, just don’t do anything too bad now!!

⭐ He finds it really funny when you try to sneakily grab an extra piece of candy, but your giggling a bit too loudly and he can obviously tell what your doing . . . But he won’t stop you . . Atleast this time

⭐ He’ll let you wear his sunglasses!! You can look just as awesome as your Dada!! 💪

⭐ Karaoke? Or regressors that like singing? Disney song night!!! He’ll even help you with the big kid words!

⭐ Now, some baby regressor focus!!

⭐ For crafty littler regressors, he’ll help guide your hand, or will happily accept a pretty scribbled picture!! He’ll even frame it after it’s happy time on the fridge!! :D

⭐ He’ll get you separate sunglasses, but the exact same as his

⭐ Not that he doesn’t trust you!! . . . But some babies chew . . And he likes his sunglasses, darling

⭐ Any kind of padding you need, he will never, ever, be mean to you about!!

⭐ In fact, I once said in my CG Johnny Cage w/ Padding Regressor Hcs that if you ever felt embarrassed about padding, he’d wear one with you just to show you that they’re not bad

⭐ ^ I stand by this Hc, he’s got the (loving) ego for it

⭐ Plus he’s your Dada!! He can’t have his baby feeling icky or embarrassed about something they shouldn’t be!! And he’ll do whatever he can to make sure your okay!!

⭐ Ugh, bottle-feeding 🥺

⭐ He loves bottle-feeding you, you on his lap, or your head on his lap, near naptime or just while watching a movie, his baby in his arms <3

⭐ Some general Baby/Toddler Hcs now:

⭐ He finds it really funny if you try to copy him

⭐ You flex in the mirror after he flexes? Now you two are giggling and flexing your muscles!! 💪

⭐ The only thing he doesn’t like is his own potty mouth, it’s not a bad habit, but sometimes some no-no words slip . . . Let’s not repeat Dada’s big kid no-no words, alright, Sweetheart?

⭐ He’ll buy you custom items!!

⭐ A plushie from a show you really like? He can get one exactly like it, he likes seeing you happy!

⭐ Custom-designed pacis or sippies/bottles too!! Whatever design or aesthetic - Whatever you want really! How can he say no to his baby’s happiness? He has the money 🥺

⭐ One of you two’s a cuddle bug, and it’s not always you

⭐ Johnny’s a MASSIVE cuddlebug, especially when you're small!! (although all the time really)

⭐ Sometimes Johnny fears that the Pappirazzi will find out about your regression, and he’s already made an entire plan in his head (especially one where they look bad)

⭐ ^ It would never come to this, he makes sure of it

⭐ Which is why he’ll take you out sometimes when your small!! Maybe a bit more for older kiddos or age dreamers, but a trip to McDonalds won’t hurt anyone

⭐ Restablishing, but his favorite activity with all regressors is

⭐ Have you seen his wardrobe? He’s got fashion (and costumes!!)

⭐ With baby regressors he’ll get soft onesies, or character onesies, and help you have a fashion show by carrying you on your make shift run way

⭐ Toddler regressors he’ll get some cute outfits, or costumes like his Indiana Jones one, and cheer as you put on a show for him and his stuffies (they all loved your rpeformance by the way!!)

⭐ Baby or toddler, he’ll try to always carry

⭐ Your his baby, he’s Johnny Cage, why would you need to walk or crawl when your Dada’s a big, strong, action movie star? 🥺

⭐ One of his little nicknames for you would be Superstar!! <3

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Sorry for the long no posting guys, I had a hard time writing for some reason these past few days. But don't worry!! I'll post more soon!! Finals schedule is coming up so I should be able to write some things during that time, hopefully. <3

[sugarcandydoll]

hi dolly I'm trying to enter my girly era and you clearly know a lot about it based on your aesthetic and stuff! I was wondering if you could give me some advice or tips on being more girly and hyper feminine?🩷

aww aww angel im so flattered omgg ♡🎀 but don't think im the perfect example of a girly girl cause im so messy n emotional n disorganized :(♡ but i do love pinky n glam fashion n aesthetics hehe so i can totally share some tips on that ♡👛 also pls pls remember there is no right way to be a girly girl ♡💞 those are just tips n advice from my own experience abt what makes me feel girly n happy hehe ♡👼🏼

🎀 Fashion

browse outfits on pinterest n make moodboards to find ur style hehe ♡ shein is also amazing for finding cute girly pieces for cheap!! i usually shop my pinky n barbiecore outfits from shein!! ♡ if u want inspo here is a link to my pinterest fashion board ♡ i love wearing crop tops, matching sets, cute dresses n skirts, white tights w heart patterns ♡ for my comfy n lazy day i go along with pink graphic sweatshirt w cute print on it like bambi or disney princess hehehe ♡ also get cute lingerie n pjs it's gonna make u feel like a lil princess ♡

🎀 Makeup

if ur into makeup, play with different look n choose whatever makes u feel the prettiest! ♡ my personal fav makeup look is a full face of makeup with frosty pink eyeshadow ♡ lots of white highlight on inner corners of eyes n nose tip ♡ black winged eyeliner ♡ white eyeliner on waterline ♡ cat eye faux lashes ♡ lots of blush, n too faced lip plumping gloss along with pinky lipstick hehe ♡ i also sometimes wear brown circle lenses to give that dolly look to my eyes ♡

🎀 Hair

pls pls take care of ur hair (it's smth i need to get better at cause i fried my hair w bleach) my fav hair care tip is too deep oil it w coconut oil ♡ choose a shampoo & conditioner that smells good n works for u ♡ if ur into dyeing ur hair play w colors hehe ♡ i personally loved a reddish brown and then later a light blonde on me ♡👸🏼💕 but now wanna switch things up cause blonde maintainance is getting too expensive n i feel bad wasting soo much of my dad's money on my hair :( so i might get back to like a caramel brown hehe ♡ i also love curling my hair n putting hair extensions n cute girly accessories like bows n pink barretes n huge pink scrunchies ♡

🎀 Nails

get ur nails n toes done often hehe ♡💅🏼 i love the whole salon experience of mani/pedi but since i don't work anymore n live w my parents i wanna be more frugal :(♡ so press ons are my bffs hehehe n i love putting press ons on my toes too hehe ♡ u can find a lot of cute press on nails on amazon n etsy ♡ i usually go for pink medium length nails either plain or w a cute pattern n rhinestones ♡ i sometimes love going with colors like red, baby blue, purple, n a leopard pattern too hehe ♡ my fav nail shape is coffin or stiletto ♡ but go along with whatever makes ur hands look pretty ♡🫶🏼💗

🎀 Accessories

get cute jewelery n accessories hehehe ♡🧁 i usually buy my cutesy pink jewelry from shein ♡ n i love carrying pink bags n purses ♡ my fav for school is definitely my victoria's secret's carry all pink tote hehehe ♡ i also love wearing rings n toe rings n anklets w little bells on it to jingle when i walk hehe ♡ also also i love getting a necklace w my fav fictional character's initial on it oops ♡ i also love wearing cute pink hair accessories like bows n barrettes n huge pink scrunchie ♡ or if i want my hair up i use a huge pink claw clip ♡

🎀 Smelling Good

perfumes n bodymists are the best hehehe ♡ explore different scents at shops n figure out what u like best!! ♡ my current favs are strawberry snowflakes by bbw & pure seduction shimmer mist by victoria's secret, & tease sugar fleur by victoria's secret ♡ usually go w super super sweet or fruity scents but u don't have to angel ♡🍰 florals n fresh scents are sooo cute too just go along w whatever feels the most you n the best in ur opinion hehe ♡

[bcolfanfic]

spare...spare more details about young vets curt and ken becoming parents?

yesss. have been meaning to!

they both know somewhere in their heads that they want kids, but curt esp kinda talks himself in circles about it.

grew up in a very chaotic home with an abusive father and similar to gale he just has a lot of "what if i turn into my dad" anxiety

they go the surrogacy path and i don't think i ever actually pinned down *why* but. i think it would make sense if they had an almost-adoption fall through and were just...a little too rattled by all that to potentially put themselves through it again.

re: parentage they do the thing talked about in this article where they both ~donate~ and it'll work out however it works out. neither of them have super strong feelings about it either way so whatever happens happens (:

and it happens that (a) the embryo that ends up getting transferred is curt's bby and (b) it splits (: surprise twins (:

lmfao both boys about hit the floor when they get that news. curt goes full pale as a piece of paper mode and almost passes out and ken is just kinda. standing there in shock.

it's silly but i loveee the idea of them pulling something like in those viral videos from over the years ie not telling anyone outside of maybe curt's mom that its twins until the babies are born.

gale and bucky facetiming to see them and going gaga over curt w/ one lil baby but then oh hi ken- wait why do you have a baby too????

bucky lossesss his mind lmfao. in a very affectionate way but. can't belieb it. remembers all the shit him and curt got up to in tech school and when they were both enlisted and god now both of em have kids??? crazy stuff!

the girls are named meadow and bry/bryony. meadow after the sopranos (curt's choice) and bry to stay in line with the naturey theme (ken's choice)

by this point ken's kids soccer coaching thing manifested itself into a full time elementary/middle school athletics department job. so he does that, and curt still does the personal trainer thing but he works for himself so he can schedule around staying home with the girls when they're itty bitty.

was so scared shitless of being a dad after his own childhood, and hell after all his shit from the war too. which seeing john with josie and micah helped him push past in a lot of ways <3. because if john can overcome and be *such* a good dad, hey maybe i wouldn't be terrible at it.

but he loves those girls so so much. has a lot of moments just lookin at their lil faces and hearing them following him around the apartment and getting all (,: because he can't believe they're his.

meadow ends up verrry much like him and bry like ken. they try to put *both* girls in soccer when they're little which bry takes to like a fish to water. but meadow just kinda plops down in the grass and cries lmao. bless her heart.

they're both *such* good kids too which makes em laugh sometimes because curt was...a handful and a half to the extent that he was worried he might get some karma thrown his way for that.

his mama kinda ribs him about it and says the lord gave him a pass on that because he's been through enough.

well at least until meadow and croz's oldest boy jj get involved which causes soooo much drama but. that needs to be its own separate post. (tldr: she's a senior in college and he's 29 pushing 30 lmao it's only like an 8 year age gap and rationally perfectly fine, but curt as you can imagine is um. not of that mind at first lmfao jj run!!!)

ken is such a good dad too. never in a billion years imagined back when him and curt first got involved that *this* would be their life but he's so happy. is such a jabberbox when he first goes back to work tellin' everyone everything and showing them pictures.

[the-spider-haven]

I’m super happy w this but I accidentally made him look like that one guy from cool omens or whatever the fuck it’s called

Sketch, full piece & ref under the cut

[thelovelylolly]

Can you do fluff alphabet with Robin?

Fluff Alphabet w/ Robin Buckley

A/N: this is my first time writing something like this so i hope you enjoy it love <3 also i didn't find just one alphabet so i kinda picked the prompts i liked lol

A: Affection (how do they show affection/are they good at it)

Robin loves to show affection through physical touch. She'll hug you, kiss you on the cheek and forehead, hold your hand, anything to be close to you and touching you. It takes her a while to be comfortable enough to do it, but once she's comfortable? You two are inseparable :)

B: Beauty (what does she think makes her s/o beautiful)

Your laugh and smile. She loves making you laugh or doing things that make you smile. She gets butterflies every time you smile, whether that be at her or something else. She loves making sure you're happy.

C: Comfort (how she comforts her s/o after a rough day)

Robin will go out and buy you all your favorite snacks, rent your favorite movies, and make your living room into a big fort with blankets and pillows. You two would have a movie marathon and cuddle in the fort, forgetting the rest of the world for a while.

D: Dreams (what does her dream future with her s/o look like)

I feel like Robin isn't someone who would want to get married (even if it was legal in the 80s). She has her s/o and that's enough. She doesn't really need a fancy piece of paper or some rings to prove that. She does want to buy a nice house with you one day, maybe get a few pets, too. She really wants a dog, but she'd be happy with whatever pet you want (no matter how strange it is).

E: Equal (is she more dominant or soft in the relationship)

She's somewhere in the middle. She has her strengths in the relationship, but she also has her insecurities. You two work well together and complete each other, so you're both pretty equal in your relationship.

F: Fight (how would a typical fight go and how easily would she forgive her s/o)

You two rarely fight, but when you do, you two probably step away from each other for a while. Maybe one of you leave the house for a few hours to destress, or you two just go into separate rooms and do your own things. But you and Robin never went to bed angry. If it means staying up later, sitting in bed together, and talking it out, then so be it. Depending on what the fight was about, Robin would probably forgive you easily.

G: Gratitude (is she grateful for all her s/o does/has done for her)

Of course she is. Robin never lets a day go by without mentioning how grateful she is to be with you, so you can expect plenty of 'thank you's when you do a chore she doesn't like for her or made her favorite dinner for her. Little things, but they mean so much to her.

H: Honest (how honest is she to her s/o)

Super honest. She rambles a lot, so the truth always gets out of her. She can try to lie or keep a secret from you, but it doesn't take long before it just slips out of her. Because of this, your super honest, too. Neither of you hide anything.

I: Inspiration (did her s/o inspired her to become a better person)

You showed her that everyone could keep improving themselves, so she did her best to improve herself. It started with her becoming better for you, but it slowly become more for herself. You're proud of her growth, no matter if she's doing it for you or herself.

J: Jealousy (does she get jealous)

It's very rare for Robin to get jealous. You two love each other and Robin is secure enough to be confident you wouldn't leave her. You probably get more jealous than she does, but your jealousy doesn't last long.

K: Kiss (where does she kiss her s/o, where does her s/o kiss her)

She loves to kiss your cheek. It's her favorite place to kiss after your lips. She also loves to give you forehead kisses while you two cuddle. Her favorite kinds of kisses to receive are kisses on the cheek. Though, you can't go wrong with a kiss on the lips.

L: Little ones (how is she with kids)

Robin is not a natural with kids. It takes some trial and error, but she can at least take care of older kids. She isn't some serious figure at all, so she likes to take on the role of the fun 'adult'. She'll plan pranks, sneak candy, all that stuff. Sometimes you try to stop her, but most times, you help her out.

M: Marriage (does she want to get married)

Like I said earlier, I don't see Robin getting married. She loves her s/o, she doesn't need a piece of paper to tell her that. But if you want to get married, she'd be happy to. It would not be a big event, just you two and a few close friends as witnesses. You would probably take her last name, too.

N: Nicknames (what nicknames does she have for her s/o and vice versa)

Babe is most used between you two. You also call her 'Rob', and she'll call you a shortened version of your name or another personal kind of nickname. If she's feeling extra sappy, she'd call you something really, really cheesy.

O: On cloud nine (what's she like when she's in love)

Head over heels, heart eyes, everything. She's like a puppy dog when she's in love with you. She wants to be around you almost 24/7. She loves to give you small gifts or do something for you, even if its new to her. You like this specific kind of paint? Robin found it for you and it's waiting for you on your desk. You want a specific kind of cookie? Robin's rarely baked but she'll make you a huge batch of cookies if you want.

P: PDA (is she okay with pda)

Robin's a bit more reserved when it comes to PDA, and you don't mind. A small, Indiana town in the 80s? Not the most accepting setting. However, you two will link arms when you walk around just to be close. If there aren't many people around, you two will hold hands. But if you two were in a more accepting place, plenty of subtle PDA. A kiss on the forehead here, an arm around the waist there. Little things to make sure you two knew the other was there.

Q: Quirk (a trait of hers that makes her a great partner)

Her attention to detail. Like I said earlier, she will get you gifts or make you something if you mention it. She knows what kind of music you like, what your favorite color is, how you like your coffee or tea. She notices the little things, and you love it.

R: Romance (how romantic is she)

Very romantic. She does little things, but she also does huge gestures just to show how much she loves you. A surprise road trip, a shopping trip on your birthday, anything. Valentine's Day is when she does the most. Roses, chocolates, gifts, a fancy date or dates, she doesn't come to play.

S: Security (how protective is she)

Not super protective, but she'd put herself between you and danger if it came down to it. She doesn't want to lose you ever, and if that means she gets hurt, so be it. Some asshole picks a fight? She'd take the punch (maybe throw one, too).

T: Thrill (does she like new things in the relationship or does she like routine)

Loves routine, but she does try to change things up every now and then. She mainly does that by doing new things for dates. Maybe its a day trip to an amusement park or visiting a town neither of you have been before. If you're down, she's down.

U: Ugly (what are some of her bad traits and does she know about them)

Rambling and ranting. She'll talk over you or interrupt you on accident because she has to get the words out. She knows its a problem and she does her best to work on it, with your help of course.

V: Value (is her relationship her main priority)

Of course it is. You're everything to her. Her friendships never come before you and your relationship. Her friends what to hang out? She probably already has plans with you and she would never cancel on you.

W: Wild Card

While I kept mentioning physical touch, gift giving and acts of service, I think Robin's big love language is quality time. She's just happy to be with you or be around you, no matter what you're doing it. You two could be sitting in the living room doing your own things and she'd love every second of it because you two are together.

X: XOXO (how often does she kiss, hug, and cuddle with you)

If she could, Robin would have her arms around you 24/7. You fall asleep and wake up with her arms around you everyday. If either of you have to go to work, neither of you leave without a kiss. Sometimes, one of you will get overwhelmed and a hug will fix it right up.

Y: Yuck (something she doesn't like)

Robin can't handle certain textures. When you get her a gift, you make sure it doesn't have one of the textures she doesn't like. If you're cooking her dinner, you make sure the food's texture won't bother her. You're happy she told you about it early on so you wouldn't accidentally get her something she didn't like the texture of.

Z: Zzz (how is she when she sleeps)

Not a light sleeper, but not a heavy one either. She snores and sometimes talks in her sleep, like a word or two. However, she can't get good sleep without you. She'll toss and turn, and wake up through out the night if you're not there. Of course, that's later on in her relationship when she's used to being close to you when you two sleep.