#not seeing this in the text means youre not like really .... engaging in who anne rice was an author

[monstersinthecosmos]

@kaelio 's tags 😳

corruption kink where the corrupting influence is "getting what you actually want" because I think that ruins and unmakes people in a really radical scary way and opens you up to some powerful forces that will have their way with you like it or not

[randoms-fandoms]

Hi! Would I be able to request Marcy Wu x Fem!Reader who goes and ASKS HER to play Creatures and Caverns or Watch War of the Warlocks? (She deserves it! 🥺)

Absolutely! I do not know anything about the game, but I’ll try my best <3

Warnings: a little bit of canon typical calamity trio toxicity, but with the reader thrown into the mix :)

Relationships: pre-established Marcy Wu x (female) reader

Marcy Wu had been your best friend for years. Of course you didn’t predate Sasha, and certainly not Anne— but what you had was more special. More tender than the loud, fierce friendship the three shared. Your bond surpassed platonic feelings, at least on your end.

Your feelings were clear. You loved Marcy. You had for years now, though this more painful edge had only recently developed.

When Marcy kept you up all night on the phone, crying because Sasha had chosen to invite Anne to something and not her, of course you felt compassionate. You also felt angry. Not because of your lost sleep, but angry on Marcy’s behalf. Why even tell her about the activity if you’re not gonna invite her?

Whenever you all hung out as a group, something that happened more often now that the school year had began, you didn’t miss how the excited grin on Marcy’s face would fade when she noticed Anne and Sasha weren’t paying attention to what she was talking about. You just bit your tongue and engaged in Marcy’s story, trying to cheer her up.

It nearly pushed you over the edge when you noticed Marcy had cut off all of her colorful friendship bracelets. “Anne said that’s why people make fun of me in P.E— its not really a thing people wear anymore.” She explained casually, shrugging, as if it didn’t matter. Her arms looked bare and lonely.

You tried not to hate them, you really did— Marcy loves Anne and Sasha, I’m sure they’re actually nice… but you were just so frustrated that they were unintentionally ignoring the funniest, smartest, kindest person in the world.

A mean little part of you was kind of glad that their friendship seemed to be struggling. You hated it every time Marcy was hurt by them, but at the same time, you felt a small bit of joy in being the one to comfort her.

All these conflicting feelings were eating you alive. You couldn’t stop thinking about Marcy, everything you saw reminded you of her.

One weekend, you were cleaning your room when you found an old set of dice that hadn’t been used in a while— they were a birthday gift from years ago, but you hadn’t played creatures and caverns in what felt like forever. I bet Marcy would have fun with this, you thought with a smile.

The next think you knew you were pacing your room with a ringing phone to your ear, heart beating in your throat. You didn’t know why you were nervous; you hung out with Marcy all the time— but this would be the first time she came to your house. You usually hung out at her house.

Marcy picked up the phone after two rings. “Hey, how’s it going?” She asked. You could hear the smile in her voice.

“Um, hi Marcy! I’m good, I was just, uh—“ you looked down at the small bag of dice in your hand. “Are you busy today?”

“No, never.” She said with a little laugh. “I’m free pretty much every weekend.”

You nodded to yourself. “…Do you want to come over and play creatures and caverns with me?”

Marcy gasped. “Of course!” She exclaimed. “You have no idea how happy I am—“ you heard a crash on the other end of the line. She must have gotten up too fast and tripped. “I-I’ll be over in just a minute! Text me your address!”

You smiled wide, excited to see her. “I will! See you soon!”

The room felt too quiet when you hung up the phone. You already missed her. After texting her your address (and receiving a string of happy emojis in response), you looked up and came back to reality— I should get ready.

You surprised yourself by how quickly you got dressed. A cute shirt from a concert you had been to over the summer and a comfortable pair of shorts. You looked over yourself in the bathroom mirror and smiled.

You were glad you were already close to being done with your cleaning when you got distracted— all you had to do was make your bed, which didn’t take long.

Marcy arrived quickly. She looked out of breath when you opened the door, face flushed and breathing hard as she unbuckled her bicycle helmet. “Hi!” She said, smiling wide.

Her excitement made you happy. “Hey, Marcy! Come on in.” You stepped aside to let Marcy in. She took off her shoes and left them by the door.

“Um… thanks for inviting me over!”

“Of course! You’re the first person I thought of when I found these.” You pulled the bag of dice out of your pocket and felt yourself smile automatically when Marcy’s face lit up.

She took the bag from you and opened it, beaming. “Oh my gosh, this is a limited edition set! Where did you get it? They stopped making these forever ago!”

“I got them for a birthday present.” You replied, trying to remember all those years ago. “My parents must have found them in a secondhand store or something. Anyway…”

“I brought all my stuff, and plenty of paper. This is perfect! We could design up our own caverns, and do a whole campaign together!” Marcy looked up at you, still super excited. You felt a twinge of guilt upon realizing that you didn’t really know what she was talking about.

“Um… Marcy? You might have to teach me how to play.” You said, laughing nervously. “Is that okay? I’ve never actually played a game of creatures and caverns before.”

Marcy’s smile turned into something softer. “Of course! I’d be happy to teach you! Let’s start by setting up the board…“

The rest of the afternoon, you had more fun than you’d ever had in your life playing a tabletop game— Marcy was just so full of energy, cheering with excitement, eyes glimmering with joy when she laughed. She was adorable, you thought, and you couldn’t help but flirt with her a little— in your own special way, nerdy and sweet, just the way you knew she’d like.

“You know a lot about this game— you must have played a ton of campaigns!” You praised, watching a blush spread over Marcy’s smiling face.

“Well, not exactly— I’ve always wanted to, but I’ve never had anyone to play with before! I tried getting Anne and Sash to play with me a few times, but they always get bored after one session.” She laughed awkwardly. You reclined against the edge of your bed, not sure what to say.

“…But it’s okay.” Marcy continued. “I know it’s not what they’re into, so… it’s whatever,”

You nodded, suddenly feeling a little nervous. “Um, do you think we could make this a regular thing? Playing Creatures and Caverns together?”

Marcy absolutely lit up. “Of course!” She leaned in excitedly, grinning from ear to ear. “We could play every weekend, and draw pictures of our characters!”

You fought the goofy smile that was creeping its way onto your face. “That sounds great, Marcy!” You sat perfectly still, shyly aware of how close she was now. Marcy didn’t seem to notice for a moment, then she glanced away and pulled back, clearing her throat.

“It doesn’t have to be every week if you don’t want to—“ she rushed. “I mean, I was being too… presumptuous. I think. We don’t—“

“Marcy, no!” You frowned, sitting up. “I do want to hang out and play with you as often as we can, I was just…” you realized with dismay that she had misread your shyness at the proximity as reluctance. “I was…” you tried again, too embarrassed to tell her the truth.

“Let’s go back to playing.” Marcy said, but her smile didn’t exactly reach her eyes. You decided you had to explain to her, if only to save you the guilt.

“Marcy, I need to tell you something.” You said seriously. She paused, looking up into your eyes. Ugh, she’s so pretty…

“Yeah?”

“I, ah—“ you felt your face heat up. “Um, do you want to… go on a date sometime? Or more than one date?” You watched as her mouth fell open slightly, surprised. “I really like you…” you continued, trying to fill the silence.

“Of course I’ll go on a date with you! Can you— can we be girlfriends?” Marcy asked, sounding in disbelief.

You broke into a breathless smile at the prospect. “Yeah! That sounds really great.”

“Aaaah, I’m so happy…” Marcy shook out her hands, then scooted to sit next to you. She hugged you tightly. The warmth made your heart beat a little faster, and you hoped she couldn’t feel that you were trembling slightly with nerves.

“I’m happy too,” you replied, resting your chin on the top of her head.

The two of you sat there in silence for another moment before Marcy pulled back and smiled broadly up at you. “Now can we go back to playing?”

You smiled right back, glad she felt comfortable enough to ask you that. “Of course!”

A/N: hope this was alright, sorry for the delay— I’ve been busy with irl things like funerals and school

[0oolookitsme]

I do not give anyone the permission to translate or repost my work. Please do not plagiarize it! Apart from that, thank you, thank you, thank you so much for fishing out your precious time to read my fics -- it means a lot and I appreciate your support so much! I genuinely hope you enjoy your time here <3

All the love always,

A.

Klaus Mikaelson ff sideblog: @aklaustaleteller Fic rec blogs: @ireblogwhatireadcauseduh and @hsficrecommendation MOST RECENT FIC: Baby, We're Fireproof (A, F) (S) Smut. (F) Fluff. (A) Angst. One Shots (2k+ wc) | One Shoty Blurbs (1k+ wc) | Blurbs (1k- wc).

SINGER!HARRY X CEO!Y/N

ONE SHOTS

Baby, We're Fireproof (2.1k) [A, F] Harry has been writing an album, and while Y/n wants to go easy on him, she just can't adjust to his absence and the fact that he has abandoned their relationship. But Harry is quick to realise his fault and remind her that they're fireproof.

Double Date Day (3.0k) [F] It is Valentine's Day, also known as the Double Date Day in the Styles' house. And being one of the highly anticipated days for the family, a lot of preparation and antics take place throughout the day!

Harryween Night ...In! (2.0k) [F] In which Harry and Y/n have cozy night in on Halloween night at Anne's -- watching nineties scary movies, and handing out treats (specifically to a girl who's too sweet and dressed up as Dorothy).

A Messy Day (2.5k) [A] In which Harry doesn't communicate his feelings well, and decides that y/n is the one acting childish.

A Little ‘You’ Wannabe (2.4k words) [F, A] In which Harry, Amore, and Andre decide to pay Y/n a visit at her office, but only after reaching there does Harry realizes that she’d be in a meeting. Andre, being the sneaky boy he is, enters the meeting room.  

First Time in Paris (5.2k words) [S, F, A] In which Y/n realizes she hasn’t gone on a vacation with Harry and hasn’t even engaged him. [PS- One thing happens against their will]  

Sleepless Nights (2.1k words) [F, A] In which Y/n has a stress-filled week, followed by insomnia and supported by Harry’s gentle words which escape his mouth when he thinks she’s asleep. [PS- It’s vice-versa]

Hello M’ Heart (4.4k words) [S, F] In which a small Playful text leads to tears then to the cancelation of a surprise date and then to making love.

ONE SHOTY BLURBS

Such an Opportunist [F] Harry really needs to sleep, and Y/n is very shocked to learn that he's written songs she'd yet to hear. Also, Harry falls on some Lego bits and what better opportunity to ask for a back massage?

But Baby, It's Cold Outside [F] Y/n and Harry are decorating for Christmas with a baby soon to arrive, and Harry keeps draping a blanket over y/n's frame even though the room has grown too hot.

Falling in Love [F] In which they are still falling in love, and Harry believes there always needs to be sweet for salty. (Previously knows as 'Sweet for Salty')

More Than One [F] In which they are in a bath together, and Y/n messes up her concept of plural and singular when Harry asks about the baby growing in her womb.

Take an Off Tomorrow [F] I honestly don't know what this is other than a combo of two asks. So, thanks to @harryfeatgaga and her anons :)

Time For A Little Show [F] Amore had convinced harry to do a little show in London so that she and her brother can see him perform their mutually favourite song, live for the first time.

He Remembers [F, S] In which it shows that the song ‘Golden’ isn’t his, but his wife, Y/n’s pov. And also, in which Y/n dissolves in the crowd and cheers when Harry doesn’t find her by the last song, but the spankings prove just something else.

BLURBS

Cuddles, Loud Laughs and sleeping babies [F]

Tit-for-Tat [F]

Glowing [F]

Not a Movie Night [F]

FOOTBALLER!HARRY X ART DIRECTOR!Y/N

ONE SHOTS

Like Gold Dust (3.1k words) [A] Winter has come knocking the wind out of Harry's lungs, and happiness has begun feeling like gold dust to him -- everybody seems to be chasing after it, but rarely catches it. But while Harry deals with the harshest Winter he's ever had, Y/n seems to have begun hating her favourite season.

My Good Girl (4.3k words) [S] In which Harry finds you, his girl best friend, pleasuring yourself and shows you just what he can be other than a sweet best friend who agrees to bring pastry for the movie marathon.

Home, Sweet Home (2.1k words) [F] In which Harry returns home to his family after an away game. 

Heart Showered in Rose Petals (3.1k words) [F] In which Harry pleads Y/n to watch his biggest University game and romantic events unfold just after the game. Not to forget about the funny moments attached to the whole day. 

ONE SHOTY BLURBS

Knight in the Shining Armour [A, F] Harry and Y/n are at a party and everyone's enjoying their time until comes in a dude who can neither take no for an answer, nor register the fact that he's just been warned.

Keep On Waiting [F] Harry somehow tricked Y/n into coming over and wrapping his presents for him -- but when he hugs her for too long, Y/n can't help but think that she really would keep on waiting underneath the mistletoe.

No More Kisses [F] In which Harry comes back to the frat house late after a practice session, Y/n has decided to takeover his room's floor to lay down her projects and somehow ends up getting tricked by Harry into taking a shower with him.

Mum for the Day [F] In which it’s Sunday and the missus is found asking for a sleep-in day. So, Harry finds himself up and out of bed, and on his way to their kids.

Swollen Belly [F, S] In which Harry proves that he can fulfill her cravings and not only make her satisfied but happy ...and horny.

Positive [F] In which Y/n has pregnancy symptoms and mistakes it for a slump, which results in her blaming herself for everything. Only when Harry recommends her to take a pregnancy test do they find out about the precious life forming in her belly.

BLURBS

Save Some for your Daddy, Baby Boy [S, F]

Cool Daddy Mode? On. [F]

Tired [F]

A Routine [F]

Melted Ice Cream [F]

Dismissed [F]

Sleepy Drunk [F]

MODEL!HARRY X FASHION DESIGNER!Y/N

ONE SHOTY BLURBS

Shoot [F, S] Just a compilation of the events that take place at the Dazed photo shoot.

Is She an Actress? [F] In which James Cordon convinces his two friends to do a game show with him. Only during the show does he realize that the two people who he thought were strangers to each other, might be more than friends.

BLURBS

Cancellation of Little Plans [S, F]

FAKE IG

Flower Goes Floral [F] Harry at the Brits, wearing an iconic dress suit, styled by none other than his girlfriend, Y/n.

New Year and Another Year of Us [F] Just a compilation of events that take place on days around the New Year told through pictures, captions, and comments :)

ARTIST!HARRY X PHOTOGRAPHER!Y/N

ONE SHOTS

Carving Pumpkins and Making A Memory (3.3k words) [F] I think it's all in the title hahah <3

ONE SHOTY BLURBS

Piece of His Heart [F, A] Harry and Y/n were students, and now, parents to a newborn babygirl as well. With all of the newfound emotions rushing through them, one thing he knew was that they were going to build this new little family slowly, and lovingly.

Exhibition Times [F, A] The one in which Harry is behind on his work for his exhibition but Y/n just makes everything better.

Mama's Day [F] Harry adores his wife and takes Opal with him for cooking her mama some breakfast in bed.

Picnics and Fist Bumps [F] In which Opal is taken on her very first picnic and Y/n and Harry can't help but discuss some sweet memories.

DWD!HARRY X DWD!Y/N

ONE SHOTS

Burning Up (2.0k) [F] Harry is sick, and Y/n is panicking because she isn't quite sure how one takes care of a sick person, plus, she can't even cook well enough! But, as she takes care of him, it's like time slows down, and then speeds back up -- just like her heart each time that he lazily smiles at her.

Anything For You... And I (2.9k words) [S, F] In which Harry is in a good mood and so he makes Y/n feel good too.

Whiskey Eyes and Liquorish Blush (2.2k words) [S, A] In which Jack cheats on his fiancé, y/n, and receives a strip tease instead of conversation from her -as a goodbye, along with a kiss + slap to his cheek.

BLURBS

Promotion [F]

NO AU!HARRY X NO AU!Y/N

ONE SH0TS

Best Gift and Waffles (2.8k) [F] It’s y/n’s birthday, Harry ends up being assigned the duty of making waffles every time they’ll be planned to be made, and Juno’s gift is termed as the best she’s ever received. (for sunnie <3)

ONE SHOTY BLURBS

We'll also Sit there One Day [F] In which Harry and Layla get it written in their destiny that if their knots are tied, they will be with each other only. (for maya <3)

Next-Door Stranger [F] Y/n hates frogs, except the one because of whom she got to meet her pretty neighbour. But she still kinda hates him because he was the reason why Harry’s Rose pot was broken by her. 

Not His Fault [F] In which Posey, a doggy who was to act in the MV of Kiwi gets sick and Y/n just happens to be there with her dog, Bingo.

Dia Dos Namorados [F] In which Harry plans a little Valentine's surprise and only when he gets to it does he realize just how hard it is to bake a Brigadeiro cake; and also, how fast he can make himself look presentable.

BLURBS

Storm [F]

My Charger! [F]

The Gender Revealers [F]

Stop Huffing! [F]

Donuts  [Blurb] {For @/band–psycho} [F]

Harry’s Blushing!  [Blurb] {For @/heloisedaphnebrightmore} [F]

UNEXPLORED (SO FAR) AU'S

MARVEL AU! Y/N X HARRY X TOM HOLLAND

Auditions (Platonic Era) [F]

A Day Made Better (Platonic Era) [F]

BAKER!HARRY X FLORIST!Y/N

Hello Ms. Baker [F]

WOLF!HARRY X DETECTIVE!Y/N

Unnecessary Growl [F]

DEVIL!HARRY X (VAMPIRE) ASSASSIN!Y/N

Dazzled [S, F, A]

EXCERPTS

NHL!Harry x Figure Skater!Y/n [It's Buzzcut Season, Anyways!]

HEADCONONS

[both of them are basically ‘step-by-step’ blurbs lmao] 

Doing Magazine photoshoot with Harry [F]

Artist!Reader [F]

MILESTONE/FESTIVE CELEBRATIONS

Drabble nights - 200 lovelies Celebration!

Fics-mas for Christmas - Just a small n' smutty celebration for Christmas :)

Kinktober'23 - Another smutty celebration, but this time 'round, it's simply for October ;)

Remember that everything will be alright and to tpwk (including yourself)! All the love always, A &lt;3

[itsallyscorner]

Baby Mix → Baby Holland

The sequel to Baby Mix

Pairing: Little Mix member!reader x Tom Holland

Summary: The youngest member of Little Mix has something to reveal after not seeing the girls for months.

A/n: Set in Corona times, I know London lifted their lockdown restrictions for a while then initiated them again after. But anyway, this is set around that time when lockdown rules were lifted. I had so much fun writing this! I hope you all enjoy it🥰

You felt a rush of excitement and nervousness through your veins as you walked around your home, making sure every corner was clean. You entered the dining room and double checked each plate, checking to see if they all had the essential utensils, a napkin, and a wine glass. You trusted Tom to set up the table, but today was a big day and you wanted to make sure everything was perfect.

“Darling, you don’t need to triple check everything in the house. Nothing’s moved since the last you’ve looked at it.” Tom teases you as he enters the dining room from the kitchen. He wore a tight black shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, with dark blue jeans. During the time in lockdown, his hair has grown out and he’s been working on his facial hair. You smiled at the 5 o’clock shadow that graced his face; it’s been known that he took forever to grow out facial hair, so to see that there was some light stubble on his face made him really happy. He was very proud of it.

“You look extremely hot right now.” You comment, meeting him in the middle of the room. His hands instantly place themselves at your waist, before one hand moves to rest on your growing stomach and the other on the small of your back.

“Is that the hormones talking?” He squints his eyes playfully at you. You gently shove him, only for him to pull you back closer into his chest. “No? I mean you always look good in whatever you wear. But it could possibly be the hormones?” You ramble.

Tom chuckles, his eyes gazing at you like you’re the only woman in the world. Well technically, you are the only woman in his world; besides his mum and grandma of course. But you were it for him, he wanted nobody else but you. Sure, you guys weren’t married, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t committed to you. The baby might’ve came before the wedding, but he will marry you one day.

“How are you feeling?” He asks you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. Ever since the two of you have discovered you were pregnant, the morning sicknesses have gotten worse and worse. You were really hoping you’d be one of those lucky mothers who wouldn’t experience morning sickness, but with your luck it never happened. This morning you stumbled out the bed and into the toilet; today’s puke was probably the most horrible one this week, as gross as that sounds. Tom was behind you in an instant, tying your hair into a ponytail and rubbing soothing circles onto your back. It pained him to see you like this, he couldn’t do anything but hold your hair back, help you get your puke out, and whisper comforting things into your ear. He considered on canceling today’s event after you cleaned yourself up in the bathroom and snuggled back into the sheets, eyes red and puffy. Though when he mentioned on canceling, you declined immediately. You had both been anticipating today and you weren’t going to let some morning sickness postpone such a special event.

He looked at you concerned, scanning your face for any discomfort. Your lips quirk up to a fond smile as you kiss the worry away from him, “I’m doing much better than this morning, we’re both doing good.”

“That’s great, that’s all that matters to me right now.” He responds, pulling you into a hug. One thing you’ve noticed about Tom and your pregnancy was that he was very touchy and protective. Though he was already like that, it seemed like the pregnancy intensified his protectiveness, or just him in general. He was very alert of his surroundings, making sure everything was clean, that you were always comfortable, and that you weren’t experiencing any pain from the pregnancy. He was dedicated to making sure you were treated like a princess, you and your baby.

“You’ve got everything handled just in case they all come early right? I’m gonna head up and get dressed.” You pull away to look at him.

He nods at you, ensuring that he had everything under control, “Yeah, I’ve got it.” He pecks your lips before you pull away and head for the stairs. He watches your figure go up the stairs, just in case you trip or something, he would be there to catch you. When he sees you round the corner safely he yells, “Just give me a shout when you need something!”

He hears a faint “I know!” from upstairs and the sound of a door closing. He took that as his sign to get back in the kitchen and continue cooking. With the help from Sam, over FaceTime, Tom was able to get around the kitchen and make some proper food for your guests

~⏰~

You take one last look at yourself in the mirror. You wore leggings and an oversized knitted sweater that hid your small bump. You had light make up on, not bothering to put much since it was just the girls and you were all just having a casual lunch. You could already hear the commotion downstairs, Jesy’s contagious laughter, hints of Perrie and Jade’s voices, and Leigh-Anne gushing over some decorative piece in your house. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself to give them all the good news. In fact, they’re one of the first ones that will get to know about your and Tom’s secret. Your family and Tom’s being the first to find out the moment you both left the doctor’s office. The girls deserved to be part of the group who found out first, they were like your older sisters and have always been there for you since you’ve known them. They’re basically family.

You giddily head down the stairs with delight as the girls finally come onto view. Perrie screams, throwing herself off the couch and pulling you into a hug. You were stunned by the sudden force, though you tightly wrapped your arms around her, careful to not press your stomach against her.

“Oh! I’ve missed you so so much! It’s been so long, I hate being away from you all for months.” Perrie cried, pressing kisses onto your face. You laughed trying to dodger her.

“Let me smother you with love, I haven’t seen you in so long!” Perrie objected, hugging you one more time. “I miss you too, Pez.” You giggled kissing her cheek.

Jesy comes from behind Perrie and detaches her from you, “Babe, you look beautiful! You’re glowing, look at you!” Jesy cupped your cheeks then wrapped her arms around you.

“Oh my goodness, let me tell you, I didn’t even realize that was Tom.” She said when you both broke the hug. You burst out laughing, placing a hand on her arm.

“No seriously! I didn’t even know he can grow facial hair? I was expecting to see a boy answer the door not a man!” Jesy admits making you laugh even more at her genuinely shocked face.

“Are you still on about Tom and his beard?” Jade asks as she approaches you, Leigh-Anne right behind her.

“Isn’t it a shocker? I live with a man now.” You joke, wrapping your arms around Jade. She squeals, swaying the two of you side to side.

“Babe, your house is stunning!” Leigh-Anne compliments, hugging you and kissing your cheek. You wave her off, “You literally have a whole mansion. I still don’t understand how we have the same paycheck.”

You all settle in the living room for now, waiting for Tom to call for lunch. You could smell the delicious aroma of whatever Tom was cooking in the kitchen and your stomach couldn’t help but growl. Jesy eyes your stomach, “What’ve you got in your stomach? That sounded like an animal.” For a moment you were caught off guard at the mention of your stomach. You eyes widen for a second as you glance down at where your sweater was bunched up.

“Uh—I’m just really hungry.” You brush off her comment, face getting flustered. Jade playfully shakes her head glancing at the kitchen, “Has Thomas not been feeding you right?”

“No—he’s been absolutely amazing! Spending lockdown with him was a dream.” You answer chuckling. Perrie crosses her arms, “Lucky, I had lockdown with a football player. Do you know how difficult it is to live with one?”

“It couldn’t have been that bad?” Leigh-Anne chimed in, sipping on a glass of wine. Perrie huffs leaning forward in her seat, “I felt like a bloody housewife the whole time. I had to keep restocking my fridge every week because he eats everything—like seriously, our food never lasted till the weekend. Alex kept on eating my snacks that I had to start hiding them from him.”

“Are we not going to talk about how Jade found love during a worldwide pandemic?” Jesy mentions pointing at Jade, who has a teasing smile on her face.

She waves her finger at Jesy, “Nuh uh, we aren’t talking about that yet.” You gasp, “And why not?”

“We’re still getting to know each other, I don’t want to rush into things, ya know?” Jade’s face contorts in thought. “Like we’ve done a virtual date on Zoom and have been texting each other back and forth, we’ll see where it goes.”

“You’ll be fine and you’re taking things slow, you should be familiar with each other first before fully committing.” Leigh-Anne assured her. All eyes fell on Leigh-Anne then down to her left hand.

“HOLD ON—LET ME SEE THE RING IN PERSON!” You yell jumping off the couch to where Leigh-Anne was sitting. You sit beside her and take her left hand admiring the giant diamond on her ring finger.

“I can’t believe you’re engaged, I’m so happy for you Lee.” You gush pulling her into a side hug. She nudges your shoulder, gesturing to Tom, “You might be next.” She winked.

“You know, I think Perrie’s gonna be the next one actually.” You smirk at the blonde who rolls her eyes. “Like what Jade said, we’ll see.” She hums shrugging. Your stomach growls again making Leigh-Anne glance at your stomach.

“Oh my goodness” she laughs, moving to look for Tom. “Tom, is lunch ready yet? Your girlfriend’s stomach keeps growling!” You hear something clang in the kitchen before Tom pops his head out, “Lunch’s ready, I was just waiting for you ladies to wrap up the chit chat.”

You all move to the dining room where Tom had laid out the food. He’s made pasta, with some steak, Caprese salad, and garlic bread. Jesy makes a content sound as she scans the food on the table before taking a seat.

“I must say Tom, I’m quite impressed with the food.” Jesy compliments Tom. A proud smile forms on Tom’s face, his eyes switching between you and Jesy. “You heard that darling? Jesy just complimented me.”

“I know, I heard her Tom.” You laugh patting his chest. He pulls your seat out for you, then sits in the chair on your right side while Jesy was on your left. Across from you three were Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne.

“We could eat now right?” Jade asks while reaching out for the pasta’s serving fork.

“Yeah, yeah, go ahead.” Tom nods his head at the food. You hear a whine behind you distracting you from the delicious food Tom made. Behind your chair was Tessa who tried to nuzzle herself between your and Tom’s chairs. Not only had Tom grown even more protective of you, but so has Tessa. The sweetheart trailed after you everywhere you go, she stayed in the same room you were in and would lay beside your feet. Though Tom was her rightful owner, she would bark at him whenever he got a little too close to you or your stomach. Tom wasn’t going to lie, he did feel upset and envious that his precious princess barely paid him any mind anymore. But to know that she was only doing it to protect you and her future sibling warmed his heart, so he got over it in an instant.

“Tess, no.” Tom softly scolded the dog trying to shoo her away from the table. She only let out more whines making your heart break. You placed a hand on Tom’s, “Just let her stay, she won’t bother anyone.” Tom nods and pats Tessa’s head.

Lunch goes by splendidly, it was full of laughs and catching up with each other’s lives. It was nice to finally be surrounded by your favorite people in the world after months being apart. Everyone enjoyed the food, complimenting Tom on his excellent work and not burning the kitchen down. Wine and drinks were passed around except for you, who stuck with a water and a small amount of soda. Usually you would also be drinking, clinking glasses with Jade as you down your drinks, but thankfully no one had caught on yet.

“Sorry, we’ve all been rambling about our experiences during the lockdown, what about you two? (Y/n)? Tom? You’ve both been quiet about your experience together.” Leigh-Anne apologized shifting the conversation to you and Tom.

“You could leave the shagging parts out, we already know what went down in this poor house.” Jade poked at you, sending an over exaggerated wink your way. You shake your head and turn back to Tom. The two of you share a look, the look, and make a silent agreement that it was time to announce the big news.

“Well we’ve been busy. You know, we’ve both been doing lots of promo. I’ve been promoting my new film and (y/n)‘s promoting the album with you guys.” Tom started, making normal conversation.

“Most of the time was spent resting, we took advantage of the free time before we have to go on tour and he has to go away for filming.” You continue. The girls nod understanding the situation.

“What did you guys do on the daily though?”

“Lots of puzzles!” Tom answers. “We had the typical move nights and shit.”

“We did lots of baking too!” You add glancing at Tom, who nods along with you. “We’ve actually got a bun in the oven right now!” You say, emphasizing your words. Leigh-Anne and Jesy share a look instantly catching on. Jade’s mouth gapes, her hand holding the wine glass going limp.

“After all this time! Thomas, it’s probably burning by now, shouldn’t you go and check on it?” Perrie scolds, turning back to the kitchen to catch a peek at the oven. She looks excitedly at you two, “What kind of bun have you guys made?”

Jesy’s eyes pan over to Perrie in disbelief, it was like the salad in the box situation all over again. Leigh-Anne holds her palm up to her mouth as the news sinks in. Jade swats Perrie’s arm, “A human one!”

Perrie’s eyes widen in fear, “A human bun? Like cannibalism?” Tom made a sound of confusion, his brows furrowing at her. You stifle a laugh behind your hand as you wait for Perrie to realize.

“They’re having a baby, Pez!” Jesy yelled making Perrie’s eyes grow in shock. The gears move in her head, “OH! Bun in the oven—BUN IN THE OVEN? You’re pregnant?” She screams shooting out of her chair.

You laugh hiding behind your hands. Jesy grabs onto your wrist, pulling it down, and holding your hand. “Wait, are you actually pregnant? You’re not tricking us?”

You shake you head, a giant smile gracing your lips, eyes getting glossy. “I wouldn’t lie to you guys, you guys are gonna be aunts.” You confirm squeezing Jesy’s hand. She gasps pulling you into a hug. Behind you she reaches a hand and playfully shoves Tom, “As if turning her into you wasn’t enough, you just had to insert yourself into her and make another one of you?”

Tom shrugs, though a smile was also on his face, “Hey, to be fair, you might like this one more than me.” Jesy gets up from her seat and approaches Tom.

“Give me a hug, you div.” She ruffles his hair like an older sister would and wraps her arms around him. Tom chuckles hugging her back.

“I know I give you a lot of shit, but I’m so happy that she ended up with you and not some dickhead. Congrats Tom.” She mutters into his ear, before pulling away from the hug and patting his back. Tom looks at her teary eyed, “Thank you Jes.”

“Wait—no! You’re our baby, you can’t have a baby yet. Stop growing!” Perrie cries coming around the table to engulf you in her arms. This time she was actually crying, tears of joy streaming down her face.

“But Pez, I’m already growing.” You giggle, pulling away from her to lift you knitted sweater up to reveal your small baby bump. The girls gasp, while you and Tom stare proudly at your stomach. Jade and Leigh-Anne join Perrie to hover over your stomach. Jesy looks from over your shoulder, staring at the top of your stomach.

“Can we please touch it?” Leigh-Anne asks quietly, looking up at you and Tom for permission.

“Go ahead.” You assure them. Jesy squeezes your arms, resting her chin on your shoulder. Leigh-Anne, Perrie, and Jade’s hands delicately come into contact with your stretched skin, fascinated by your little bump. Jade pouts as she strokes your belly with her thumb, “Oh, you’re so precious.” She coos.

Perrie rests her palm against your belly, “How far along are you?” You look at Tom over your shoulder, who’s been watching the special moment unfold between you and the girls.

“Four months.” Tom answers, the grin on his face feeling permanent as he talked about his little bean.

“Four months?” Jesy shrieked whipping her head to look at you and Tom.

“Yup, we wanted to tell you guys as soon as we found out but we decided to keep it a little secret for as long as we can.” You explain. “But then my stomach began growing and it’d be obvious, so we decided to tell you guys now since it’s still early.”

“Does anyone else know?” Leigh-Anne asks, hand still resting on your belly.

“Our families know, along with his best mates. But you guys are part of the first few people who know about it.” You reply. Perrie hums softly, cupping your cheek and pressing a kiss onto it.

“You’re the first people I’ve told who aren’t my immediate family.” You laugh. The girls began tearing up again.

“I can’t believe you guys told us.” Jade wipes her eye with the pads of her fingers.

“Why wouldn’t I? You guys are important to me and I love you all so much! You all deserve to know about it before everyone else.” The girls “aww” at you and pull you into a group hug, one of their hands still resting on you belly.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant, oh my god.” Leigh-Anne expressed, her hand still on your bump.

“It’s hilarious how we were saying you were gonna be the first one to start a family. All of a sudden little missy over here gets knocked up.” Jesy points at Leigh-Anne before giving Tom the stink eye.

“Did they not teach you how to use protection in school?” She playfully teases Tom, back to her usual picking on him. “Or is your pull out game just that weak?” Perrie gasps, covering your belly with both her hands, “Jes! There’s a baby!”

Tom’s mouth drops, his face feigning shock, “You know, I really thought we were having a great moment here, Jes.”

Jesy scoffs, “Moment’s over—have you never heard of ‘Don’t be silly, protect your Willie’?” Everyone pauses before bursting out laughing at Jesy’s comment.

The night ended with the girls making plans of who would be the fun aunt and who would spoil Baby Holland the most. Jesy and Jade debated over being the fun aunt while Perrie and Leigh-Anne tried to outdo each other on who would spoil the baby with the most toys and clothes. Your belly was the main star of the night; the girls occasionally stroking your belly or pressing light little kisses onto it. As you both listened to the girls argue about who would be the baby’s favorite, you and Tom knew that your little baby would be in good hands with four amazing aunts to watch over them.

🦋tags:

*tags with a cross don’t work*

@waxingmoonwrites @slutforsebstan @starslazyandcosy @xkonpinkx @dummiesshort @gypsystuf @kielemarie @wroetospidey @thatgirlangelb @have-aheart @adayasgeorgia @xeniarocks @sarcasticallywitty15 @agustdowney

[coriel-muroz]

Huntsville Revived #492

The time came for a party, and Finn invited quite the crowd. 

“Hey Grimelkin,” Frederick said nervously, “you’re a good dog...right?”

“Is that Finn’s new pup? He’s a big one, huh?” Michael asked, checking out the friendly beast.

“He’s big, and a bit wild, and causes as kinds of trouble, but he is a good dog,” Finn responded as he welcomed his guests.

Jimmy and Jack had already got the music going. It wasn’t that Garrick’s death didn’t loom large - it did - and for Jimmy and Jack, their sister Mary Anne’s continued disappearance even more so, but they couldn’t let the pain and sorrow they felt overwhelm them. That’s what this party was about, feeling hope about Mary Anne, and celebrating Garrick. So dance they must.

“Hi Jimmy,” Genevive greeted him rather flirtatiously. 

“Genevive! Great to see you, gorgeous.”

Jack could only watch his younger brother who had never struggled to connect with any lady and feel a twinge of jealousy.

“So, what’s going on there?” Jack nudged his brother. “How come Beatrix and Gina are just cool with that?”

“Cause I’d be cool in the reverse situation. Just cause you lost it when you saw your wife flirt one time with someone else doesn’t mean that’s a normal reaction.” Jimmy was sympathetic to Jack’s sorrow over his separation, but could not really understand his perspective.

Soon, quite the crowd had formed. Mostly Finn’s siblings and Mary Anne’s siblings, but some friends arrived early as well.

“Frederick, I don’t think Fayna is okay.” Genevive pointed out their sister to her triplet bro.

“What? Oh, yeah...that. It’s been happening pretty constantly since Garrick died.” Frederick stopped dancing, but did not seem surprised by Fayna’s actions.

Somehow she had got ahold of a sack of flower and was treating it like it was a baby. Fayna was singing to the flour, oblivious to the fact it was not a person.

“You’re saying this has happened before? That this is happening a lot? Frederick! Clearly Fayna need some help.” Genevive worried for Fayna, whose behaviour was concerning, and for Frederick who seemed to be ignoring it.

“Look Fayna, it’s getting dark now. I’m going to give you money for a cab to take you home, okay?” Frederick waited until Fayna put the flour sack down and helped her catch a cab home. “I’ll text Shawn and Olivia that you’re on the way.

“Thank you, Frederick,” she said as she climbed in the cab.

“We have to do something about that,” Genevive insisted. Frederick just nodded.

Meanwhile, inside, Finn noticed that Pilar was in close conversation with Priscilla. He knew Priscilla was supposed to be engaged to someone else, but the way the pair was talking, he completely understood why Pilar kept overlooking that detail.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which harry asks you for a favor and you get so much more out of it.

hi loves! here is my fic for @majorharry 20k fic challenge called ‘Do You Love Me?’

thank you to my lovely beta readers @fromyourstrulyh @bopbopstyles @stellarboystyles & @detroitkiwis love y’all!

enjoy 8.6k of friends to lovers bestfriend!harry with tiny angst and some smut!

prompt: “Should—Should we kiss?” & “Do You Love Me?”

please please leave feedback! a reblog and/or comment means so so much to writers! 

・・・・ 

The sound of a hard knock was what startled you from your sleep. 

You hadn’t heard it the first time, thinking you were just dreaming of someone knocking as you were peacefully sleeping. But the sounds were getting more aggressive as the minutes were going by, and you groaned hoping the person on the other side of the door would just leave. But they didn’t. You groaned as you sat up in bed, still half asleep as your hair was a mess. The time on your phone that kept lighting up from receiving text messages read 6:17 a.m, and all you thought was that the person trying to contact you and pounding on your door better have a good reason to wake you up at this ungodly hour. 

Barefoot, you walked towards the door, truly not giving a shit of what you look like at the moment as you prepare to tell the person to leave you the fuck alone. 

But the person behind the door was the one and only. The person you were closest to in life that was standing on your doorstep with a cup of coffee and a bag of, what you hope is, food. The man who is the earliest of the birds, and will wake you up at times when you should be sleeping for reasons unknown. 

“Harry? Are you serious right now?” The first words that come out of your mouth from hours of sleeping are annoyed and gravely. 

“Well aren’t you just a delight in the morning,” he chuckled, slipping by you to get into your house. You groaned, not prepared physically or mentally for a conversation when the sun had just risen not too long ago. 

He walked over to your kitchen table, setting the coffee and bag on top of it, and you could already smell the bacon that’s in your favorite breakfast sandwich from a small hole-in-the-wall place around the corner. 

That place held a special place in your heart--in yours and in Harry’s because it was the place you first met him. 

It was during the summer almost three years ago when you first moved to the city. You were getting to know the place and looked for great places to eat. After a search around the city and many Yelp reviews, you decided on ‘Cindy’s Food.’ You didn’t know how you ended up there, but since you had just moved, you were tight on money and your feet ached from the many steps you took in search for some food. 

Cindy’s Food was a self seating kind of restaurant with lovely staff and amazing food. It was an overall diner, and some people wouldn’t look twice at this place, but you were glad that you did because you wouldn’t have met Harry. 

You decided to take a seat in the middle of the restaurant without knowing what it would lead you to. As you ordered, you scanned the place and thought how comforting it was sitting there; not really paying attention to the people who sat as well. And the food arriving at your table took you out of your thoughts, impressed with how fast the service was. 

As you took a bite, you realized that your order was wrong. It was good, by all means, but not what you ordered. And you hated confrontation, especially when it came to the service industry, being a server as well once in your life. 

“Not good?” The man from the table beside you said, and your brows raised as you realized he was talking to you. 

“It’s good. Just not what I ordered,” you said as kindly as possible, not wanting to sound like one of those people who make a fuss about everything. 

“Are you going to tell them to change it?” You shook your head. “Why not?” 

“Just don’t want to start anything. And it’s good anyways, so I’ll eat it. That gives me the chance to try the rest on their very large menu,” you chuckled, making him smile. 

“I’m Harry,” he beamed from his seat as you noticed the dimples on his face. And not realizing how important he’ll become later in your life. 

As the weeks went on, you had gone back to Cindy’s Food and your eyes had perked up when you saw Harry sitting there in the same exact table when you had first met him. He waved you over and asked you if you’d like to join him, to which you accepted. 

“Are you gonna get the meal you originally ordered the last time you were here?” He asked, making you laugh. 

“Yeah, think I’m gonna get that.” 

And the rest was history. 

After many meetups at the diner, Harry had finally had the courage to ask for your number when you two had parted ways. He immediately texted you when he got home, and asked if you’d like to hang out another time. And you said yes every time. 

It was a friendship that had come unexpected, but you were glad for it. Moving to a new place was scary for you as you worried of not making any friends, but the first day after you completely settled and moved everything in, you had met Harry. 

And it became your thing--to bring each other your favorite meals from the diner; it was just something you two did. 

“May I ask what you’re doing here when you know this is my time to sleep?” You crossed your arms. 

“Yeah, I know, I know. But I risked facing a grumpy sleepyhead in the morning to visit you,” he took out the food from the bag. “But I come with gifts so you can’t be all that mad at me.” 

You shrugged, “Luckily, you did bring gifts or I would have let you in.” Harry fakes gasps, dramatically pretending to be hurt. 

“Is that any way to treat your best friend? The one who brings you food every three days?” He crossed his arms as well, matching your position. The action made the corners of your mouth turn up, knowing he loves teasing you. 

“Alright, alright. Thank you for the food. And remind me to get you a spare key since you lost yours...again.” You grabbed your sandwich, unwrapping it before taking a bite. The hot food was divine to your taste buds once you took a bite; fulfilling your hunger. 

“I didn’t lose it. Just misplaced it.”

“Misplaced it for 4 months?” You raised your brows as you took another bite. Harry’s pauses, lips turning up. 

“Okay, just get me a new one so I don’t have to deal with you asking me what the fuck I’m doing here and interrupting your sleep,” he said before taking a sip of his black iced coffee. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“I need a favor…”

“Oh, this is gonna be good.” You put your sandwich down on the wrapper and lean forward. 

Harry was nervous. Knowing he can tell you anything and everything, he felt a bit anxious. You were waiting patiently for him, knowing him all too well that he likes to take his time when it comes to speaking. 

And when Harry saw the look on your face, patiently waiting for him to say something with bright eyes, giving him all the attention, he stumbled. 

“I, uh…”

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” Your tone changed into a concerned one, wondering why Harry seemed so anxious. 

Harry nodded his head, “Yeah. Just a bit nervous.” You said a soft ‘okay,’ giving him time to collect his thoughts. 

After a minute of Harry being in his head and figuring out how he can ask you nicely without sounding weird. 

“Whatever you have to say is not gonna sound weird, y’know,” you said as if you were in his mind. 

“So, I’m going back to my hometown and I was wondering if you would like to come with me?” He asked nervously, scratching his temple; a habit he does when he gets nervous. You gave him a look as if it were telling him there was nothing to be nervous about asking that question. 

“Harry, of course! I would love to see Anne again. Miss her to pieces,” you smiled, continuing back to your sandwich, taking big bites. 

“She misses you too. But I was wondering if you’d like to go as my girlfriend?” Your chewing stopped as you looked at him with wide eyes. 

It was the one moment where you were speechless; always loved chatting ever since you were younger and nothing could shut you up. Up until now. 

“Your girlfriend?” You said after you swallowed your bite. He nodded, hoping you wouldn’t take it the wrong way. “Are you...asking me to be your girlfriend?” You asked softly, but your heart was pounding loudly. The word girlfriend and Harry in the same sentence made your heart flutter as you wished so badly that the meaning and person behind the word ‘girlfriend’ meant you. 

“Well…fake girlfriend that is.” 

“Your fake girlfriend…” you repeated, still in shock and somewhat speechless because there was a tiny bit of hope in you, wanting him to ask you to be his real girlfriend. The idea itself made you anxious because you’d been in love with him ever since the friendship started, and you hated the idea that he had to pretend to be in love with you when you’d be doing the complete opposite. 

“It’s stupid, never mind,” Harry brushed off as if it was nothing, going back to his food and coffee. 

“Wait, no, no. I’d love to be your fake girlfriend, but can I ask why first?” You needed answers. It wasn’t unusual for Harry to ask for favors, but this was a different kind of favor. 

“Mum told me that there was this neighborhood picnic thing going on during the weekend, and this girl I dated from uni-”

“The nagger and clingy one?” 

“Yeah, that’s the one. Anyways, I told you we were in a long term relationship, practically all throughout uni. And so she’s going to be there,” he explained. 

“So you need me to be your girlfriend to make her jealous?” 

“Not necessarily jealous because I’m very much over her, but apparently she’s engaged. And if I tell her I’m not dating anyone at the moment, I just know that she’ll say some shit like we could’ve been together still or something. I don’t know! I just need you there.” Harry’s eyes were filled with plead, wanting his best friend on his side throughout the whole weekend.

Reaching across the table, you placed your hand on his, and looked him in the eyes. “Harry, I’ll be there.” A breath of relief came out of him, putting his head down, happy you agreed. 

“Thank you so much. Need you to be there so bad.” You smiled in response. 

“You just want me to be your girlfriend,” you teased adding a laugh. 

Harry laughed nervously as you continued eating, having no idea how right you were. 

・・・・

The ride back to Harry’s hometown was filled with loud tunes along with singing your heart out, and eating way too many snacks. 

It was about a three hour card ride, and he had told you that you brought too many crisps and whatnot, but you told him that it was necessary. 

There wasn’t a moment of dullness between you two. Always laughing, talking, and singing during the minutes. And when a silence washed over you two for a while, it was a comfortable one as you two sat, never feeling awkward. There were times when Harry would take a peek at you as your eyes were strained out the passenger window; noticing how peaceful you looked when you were simply lost in thought, and when you felt his eyes on you, you would turn your head towards him, he would quickly look away. And you had done the same: you would glance at him as he was focused on the road--admiring his features that you don’t find beauty elsewhere, thinking how insane it was that he needed a fake girlfriend, and that you were the one he picked. 

When he pulled into his driveway, you immediately ran out of the car, seeing Anne at the doorstep, beaming brightly. 

“Anne!” You jumped into her arms like a little kid. 

“Oh, darling! Missed you so much. It’s been ages,” she hugged you tightly. “Don’t go so long without seeing me again.” She placed both hands on the sides of your face before wrapping her arms around you for a warm hug. 

“I won’t. I’ll take a trip up here even if Harry doesn’t come along,” you said, and Anne chuckled, agreeing. 

“Harry is being forgotten at the moment,” Harry said as he walked up to you and Anne with both bags in his hands. 

“Always needing attention. Come here, sweetheart. I missed you just as much.” Anne hugged Harry, making him smile as he was in his mother’s arms. 

“You probably missed her more,” he teased. 

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Anyways, let’s go inside!” 

The house was the same as you remembered. Only being in their house a handful of times, it still felt comforting and like home. It wasn’t a large house, just right for their small family and for welcoming guests. 

“Think Harry can walk you up to his room. You both are sharing right?” She questioned with her brows raised. Harry had called Anne the day prior and told her the situation happening at the moment. Of course, Anne thought he was a bit crazy for that, but she supported his reasoning, knowing that he knew what was best for himself. 

Harry looked at you and you nodded. “Yeah, we're going to share. Thanks, mum. We’ll just put our stuff away.” He led you two up the stairs as he carried both of your bags. It was only a weekend trip, and you packed for a little more than usual as you were indecisive of what you wanted to stun his hometown neighbors with, so you brought all of the options. 

“You’re okay with sharing a room?” He asked, wanting to make sure you were alright with it. 

“Of course. We share a bed all the time when we have sleepovers,” you told him with a smile. “Besides, I’m your girlfriend now, so it should be fine.” 

Harry’s heart pounded a little harder, and you didn’t notice his sudden change of expression as you were shuffling through your belongings. You had no clue that he wanted that statement to be true. He’s dreamed of it since the friendship was 6 months in, realizing you were more than special when you planned a whole day of adventures when he had a bad day prior. It was that moment he knew how much you cared about him, how much it meant to you to see a smile on his face.

And appreciated the fuck out of it. 

He was in deep already. But he didn’t have the courage to ask you out yet; afraid of the rejection you might give him that will leave a dent in your friendship. He didn’t want that, and to his knowledge, he was all you had. 

“Think Anne knows something’s up?” You suddenly asked, causing Harry to snap out of his thoughts. 

“She knows. Told her about it so she doesn’t act surprised we’re acting like a couple.” 

“Great idea. So, what should I expect for tomorrow’s picnic?”

“Uh, everyone’s friendly for the most part. The oldies will gossip when they see us together, probably thinking ‘oh, good thing Harry found someone to settle down with,’” he said, giving his best impression of an old person. You chuckled at his goofiness, always loving his jokes even if they’re painfully horrible. It was just the effort that made you smile. 

“And what about your ex?” 

“Hmm. I’m not sure. I haven’t seen her in years so I don’t know how she is right now. But if she’s still anything like she was when we were together, then she’ll most likely stare you down. Be too possessive over me, probably to give you the message that she was the best girlfriend I’ve had, which is not true by the way.” You nodded, taking everything in and trying to handle the situation in your head if that were to happen. 

“Who’s the best significant other you’ve ever had?” You asked, curiously. 

“Don’t know yet. Never had the ‘best.’” He looked at you intently as it got quiet. The way he’s looking at you tells you that he wants to tell you something really bad, and you can physically see it in his eyes how much he’s holding back. You almost ask him to tell you, but if he’s controlling himself, there must be a reason why, so you don’t push it.

“I’m sure you’ll find whoever it is.” Your heart slightly sank when you said those words, ignoring the crack of your voice that just caused pain in your chest. 

Harry badly wanted it to be you. He wanted to show you off and be proud to call you his. Not like he’s not proud of calling you his best friend, but he longed for more. And you were so close yet so far, physically and mentally. He had no idea what you were thinking. 

And you were thinking of wanting to be called his girl, for real. The minor crush you developed on him the first few times you hung out with him blossomed into way more than you expected. But you didn’t know how you’d handle it or if you’d even do anything about it, so you’re trying to stay sane and keep your feelings intact. 

“Yeah, maybe. Just have to look at what’s right in front of me,” Harry leaned on his dresser, crossing his arms as he looked you in the eye. His stance was incredibly hot, and you wanted to jump his bones from the tension radiating between you two. And you were about to, not being able to think straight nor able to control yourself, but the soft knock on the door and the sound of Anne’s voice brought you right back. 

“I have dinner ready. Come down when you’re ready,” she said through the door. 

“Will do, mum!” Harry responded back, and you turned your back towards him, bending down as you pretended to search for something in your bag; not able to look him in the eye after your uncontrolled thoughts. 

“I’ll, uh…I’ll meet you down there?” You turned your head slightly and looked up, seeing him open the door. 

“Yeah, I’ll be down there.” He nodded before shutting the door and leaving you alone. 

You leaned back, your bottom hitting the floor as you let out a huff, thinking. 

This was going to be a long weekend. 

・・・・

The rest of the night was filled with chatting with Anne; catching up on each other’s lives and filling her in on if Harry is really doing okay than he says he is when he was in the restroom. 

You always loved having a talk with her, seeming like you could for hours and never have anything to fill the void that is silence. You three shared stories as you drank a glass or two of wine before she called it a night. 

“She loves you,” he said after he bid Anne goodnight and watched her walk up the stairs. 

“Yeah, I love her too. She’s the best,” you smiled. 

“That she is. Always teasing me that we should get together,” he slurred. The words slipped out of his mouth. At this point he blamed the wine, but he only had a glass and a half, and it was definitely something he thought about often. 

“Maybe you should listen to her,” you said ever so softly it was only audible to you, that Harry barely heard. 

“What was that?” 

“Nothing. I’m gonna head up. You comin’?” You got up from your seat, and waited. He followed you up the stairs, trying very hard to look at his steps rather than your ass that was swaying five steps before him. But he may have had a peek at it and loved the view. 

You two got ready for bed, taking turns in the restrooms before laying side by side on his childhood bed. 

“Goodnight, love,” he said softly as he turned on his side towards you. 

“Goodnight, Harry,” you turned on your side, back facing him as you wanted to be the little spoon tonight. You slightly shifted back as Harry moved forward until your bodies were touching. He wrapped his arms around you, his face in your hair as you drifted off to sleep, feeling the most comfort in his arms. 

And you could’ve sworn you felt his lips on the back of your neck before you were lulled into the state of unconsciousness, dreaming of the man behind you and wishing there were no more secrets between you two. 

・・・・

The sound of Harry’s alarm woke you up as you were laying on the opposite side from when you fell asleep, but this time you were cuddled up to Harry’s back. 

Your body was insanely hot due to the body heat of yours and the sleepy person who won’t wake up to turn off his own alarm. 

Groaning, you sat up slightly, reaching over him to grab his phone and turned off the god awful sound. You fell back in bed, Harry not waking up or moving in the slightest as you shook his shoulder gently. And he felt it. He heard his alarm as well when it first started ringing, but as he opened his eyes, he felt your body on top of him, turning off the alarm. Harry was going to say something, but he was admiring your side profile in the morning as he looked at you with squinted eyes while your hair was a mess. It was something he wanted to wake up to every morning. And if it was you, he had no reason to complain. 

“Wake up,” you groaned. Not budging, you shook harder, thinking how in the world can this man not feel the shaking. “Wake the fuck up, Harry.” Now you were slightly more awake, you sat up, hovering over him a bit. You tapped his face lightly, squishing his cheeks, and grabbing his wrist to wave his hand. “Don’t know why you set an alarm if you’re not going to wake up.” 

After a little more shaking, you sighed, laying back down on his back as you looked up at the ceiling. Harry finally groaned and turned on his other side, facing you before cuddling up to you, laying his head on your chest. His arm wraps around your torso pulling you closer, and you chuckled as you put your hands in his hair, scratching his scalp lightly while enjoying the peace and quiet. 

A few minutes went by, and you felt a smile against your chest. 

“Are you awake?” You tried looking down, but he only snuggled closer. 

“Maybe,” he mumbled against your skin. “Don’t stop.” He placed your hands back into his hair and you rolled your eyes.

“How long have you been awake?” You asked, continuing to scratch. 

“A while.” 

“You’re lucky I always give you a few minutes to spare, but we gotta get ready. C’mon,” you unwrapped his arm from around you and shifted out from your previous position, getting off the bed. Harry groaned from the missing feeling that is your body against his, and it was nice pretending to still sleep and just enjoyed cuddling together. 

“Don’t wanna. It’s too early.” His face was smashed into the pillow, and his words came out muffled. 

“You were the one who put an alarm at 9. Besides we have to help Anne get everything set up like we promised,” you said, looking through your bag for some clean panties and deciding on what you wanted to wear. 

“You’re just a kiss ass to mum,” he teased, and you dramatically gasped. 

“I am not! I can’t help but be naturally lovable and wanting to help my favorite member of your family,” you smirked, and Harry perked up from the bed at that. 

“Take that back,” he sat up, and you shook your head as you proceeded to look in your bag. “You don’t mean that,” he ripped the blanket off of himself, revealing him in shorts and a bare torso. You tried your very best not to ogle him, but it was harder than expected, so you just took a peek; passing it as a teasing look. 

Even though you’ve seen him countless times shirtless, the sight of his body felt different every time. You wanted nothing more than to trace the black ink of his tattoos with your fingertips and run your hands across his body. The thought made the rush of adrenaline running through your veins that made your heart beat ten times faster, and that certainly did not help your feelings for him. 

Harry was now standing from the bed, slightly pushing you onto your back on the floor. Your eyes widened at his actions, not knowing what he was planning to do, but you got your answer when he grabbed both of your wrists in one hand to raise them and used his other to tickle your sides. 

“Harry!” You screamed along with laughing. 

“Take it back!” He continued tickling you. 

“Can’t…take it back…when it’s true!” You said between laughs, trying to roll around to get out of his grasp. 

“Tell me I’m your favorite!” He smiled. 

“Okay, you’re my favorite!” You gave in, and he immediately stopped, letting your arms go. You caught your breath, giggling at how childish he is sometimes, and he had the same smile as you. 

Suddenly, a soft knock on the door was brought to yours and Harry’s attention. 

“Are you two okay in there? Heard screaming and movement,” Anne said through the door, and you immediately face palmed yourself. 

“Yeah, we’re okay, mum. We’ll get ready now,” Harry said back. Once he doesn’t hear a reply back, assuming she left his door, he turns back to you. 

“Great, now she probably thinks we were having sex,” you told him, covering your face. 

“It’s okay. Nothing wrong with that,” he said softly that you barely heard him, and he quickly changed the subject. You looked at him to see his eyes already gazing back to yours, and as you were going to ask him to repeat himself, he beat you to it. “Anyways, you wanna shower first?” You nodded your head, collecting your stuff and heading over to the bathroom, thinking about the long day ahead of you. 

・・・・

It didn’t take long for you and Harry to get ready. The only thing you couldn’t decide on was what to wear. You were standing in front of Harry in a robe and your hair wrapped up in a towel with two options in both your hands. 

“I’m sure both will look nice on you,” he gave you a small smile as he was sitting on the edge of the bed, waiting for you. You rolled your eyes for what seemed like the millionth because he's not giving you a straight answer. 

“Alright, I’m going with this one,” you put the other dress on the bed and took the one you were going to wear with you to the bathroom. Harry waited on you, tapping his hand on his leg before you walked out of the other room. His head immediately lifted up, seeing you in a pretty white floral dress that stopped above your ankles. He noticed you clipped the front pieces of your hair back, and you slipped on some sandals. 

“Wow���” 

“Do I look okay?” You asked. Although, you didn’t really care about other people’s opinions, you deeply cared about Harry’s; always wanting his side of the story and his thoughts. And you wanted to look nice for him because he is introducing you as his girlfriend, so you didn’t want people talking badly about either of you. 

“You look incredible,” he stood up, walking towards you. You blushed, looking at his outfit. He was wearing a pastel yellow button down, a bandana hanging loosely off his neck, and some black skinny jeans along with his Chelsea boots. 

“Thank you. You look nice too,” you flashed him his favorite smile that’s delightful to his eye, and his heart swooned. The sweet look in your eyes was enough to tell him that he was falling for you…hard. He had already fallen, but this time, it’s extreme. 

“Shall we get going?” You asked. He nodded and followed you downstairs. 

・・・・

The walk to the park was just down the street and took about 10 minutes—15, maybe because each of you, Harry, and Anne were lugging around baskets that were filled with food, blankets, and board games. 

Throughout the whole walk, you talked to Harry about how you should act. You didn’t want to overdo or underdo it. 

“Just act like you’re in love,” he stated simply. And you thought about how easy that would be since you are in love with him. You wouldn’t be acting whatsoever, but you needed the reassurance for the physical limit. 

“Okay, easy-” you blurt out, and Harry caught it. He turned to look at you, but you had already changed the subject. “What about physical stuff? Like I need to know the limits,” you said quickly. 

“Uh, no limit. Feel free to do whatever. Everyone knows I’m pretty affectionate, so maybe just always…touch me?” 

“Noted. I’m excited,” you smiled at him, and he smiled back. 

When you got to the park, you were the first ones to arrive. The space being available, you three set up the blankets and towels under the tree on the grass and the food on the picnic table. And within seven minutes, everyone started to arrive. 

Many hugs and smiles were present all around as Harry introduced you to everyone. You made sure to latch onto Harry’s arm every time, and gave his childhood neighbors big hugs. 

“So lovely to see you! Who’s this one right next to you?” Cathy from across the street asked as she hugged Harry. 

“Cathy, this is my beautiful girlfriend.” You and Cathy hug as she gives you a tight squeeze, making you feel welcomed. 

“Oh, Harry. I’m so glad you’ve found someone. A gorgeous one too,” she nudged him and winked at you causing you to chuckle.  

“Yeah, I’m a lucky one,” he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and smiled down at you, dimples poking out. Inside, Harry felt anxious introducing you to everyone, and you sensed that. Knowing Harry so well, you knew the exact moments when he was feeling nervous, and that’s this moment; and his fingers were picking at the hem of your sleeve, trying to keep himself calm.

A few minutes later, Harry heard a voice he could recognize anywhere. It was loud along with her laugh. And Harry knew it was showtime. 

“She’s here,” Harry whispered into your ear. You turned your head and saw the new face that you knew was his ex girlfriend. She had a big smile on her face, dragging her fiancé with her as she met everyone, showing them her new and fancy ring. 

“Has she seen you yet?” 

“Don’t think so.” Your backs were facing her as you were grabbing some food, plates in hand. And she was about any minute to walk up to Harry and greet him. 

“Should—Should we kiss?” 

Harry looked at you, taking in the question you had just asked before nodding his head. 

It was the very first kiss you were going to share with him, and you two wished it were under different circumstances, but a kiss was a kiss, and you were going to make it special either way. 

Harry leaned in as you met him halfway, slightly standing on your toes to reach him. And as your lips touched his, everything else melted. When you wrapped your arm around his neck as he did around your waist, everything vanished. It was like there were no secrets between you two anymore, and you were kissing because you loved each other. There were no fake relationships or fake kisses, just the presence of each other as you two molding your lips together.

It was a sweet kiss. No rush detected and no tongue action either. Just the feeling of each other’s lips pressed together was enough for the two of you to go wild. 

It was then when you two realized that you were still around people when you heard a voice call out for Harry’s name. You didn’t let go at first until they called out a second time, and you hesitantly pulled back, seeing Harry’s lips pinker than before and his face flustered. You two looked at each other for a bit, a blush creeping on your face realizing you had just kissed your best friend. 

“Harry?” He turned his head to see his ex girlfriend smiling at him. 

“Oh, hi.” She reached to hug him, holding on a little longer than you wanted, but you kept your cool. “How are you?” 

“I’m good, I’m good. How are you?” 

“Good. By the way, this is my girlfriend. Baby, this is Ash. Known her since college,” he introduced you to her. A fake smile was plastered on her face, hugging you as well, and you cringed, wrapping an arm around her. But your heart immediately fluttered when you remembered Harry calling you baby, like it was so natural for him to do so. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” you said politely. 

“You too. Heard so much about you,” she replied, not looking at you at all, rather than looking at Harry. You chuckled and looked at him, finding it rather humorous that she said that when the ‘relationship’ isn’t even real. Harry’s eyes were on you the whole time, matching your smirk as you two tried to hold your laughs in. 

“Anyways, I gotta say hi to everyone else. It was nice meeting you again,” she turned to you, and you smiled. She turned back to Harry, “we should catch up?” Harry only nodded as she walked away. You two watched her walk away, and until she was far enough, you both bursted out in laughter. 

“Oh gosh, that was weird,” he said. 

“Yeah, a little. Did you see her big fake smile towards me?” 

“It’s very obvious, isn’t it?” You nodded your head, catching your breath. Harry puts an arm around your shoulder, and kisses the top of your head. “Don’t know what I would do if you weren’t here,” he smiled down at you, making you look up. 

His eyes were bright; sparkling from the sunlight but also gleaming because of his sight on you. You boldly decided to kiss him on the cheek, and his face was warm from his blush. 

“I’m always going to be here for you.” 

・・・・

The gathering went on smoothly. Although the weather started to get a bit chilly as the day went by; no one minded as they wrapped themselves up in their coats and blankets. 

“Harry, I’m gonna walk back to the house to get a coat,” you told him as he was in conversation with one of his old schoolmates. 

“I’ll go with ya-”

“No, no. Keep talking. Anne is coming with me to put away a few things.” He nodded and gave you a kiss on the cheek, telling you both to be careful. 

You and Anne walked back to her house, arms linked as you two chatted. 

“Darling, can I ask you something?” 

“Anything.” 

“Are you in love with my son?” Your breath hitched at that, and Anne felt you physically tense up, thinking that was a bad question to ask. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that-”

“No, it’s okay! But to answer your question: yes, I am,” you told her honestly, not daring to lie to her at all. 

“Are you going to tell him?” 

“I don’t know…I’m not sure if he feels the same, and I can’t lose him,” you said softly. The mere thought of Harry not in your life anymore broke your heart. You needed him, and even if you’d have to sacrifice your feelings for him, then you wouldn’t tell him. 

“Harry may be a lot of things, but he’s not an idiot. That being said, he’s not an idiot to not feel things for you. I know it’s scary to think about him not being in your life, but trust me on this one, yeah?” You slowly nodded, taking in her words. If Anne is telling you he has feelings for you, then she must be right. 

Besides, mother knows best. 

・・・・

Meanwhile at the park, Harry was grabbing himself a plate of crackers and cheese until someone decided to accompany him. 

“Hey,” Ash said as she stood on the opposite side of the picnic table. 

“Hi. What’s up?” He responded, continuing to get his favorite cheese. 

“Just wanted to talk to you.” Harry nodded, urging her to continue. “So, how did you meet your girlfriend?” 

“We met at a little diner. She was new to the city, and it pretty much went from there,” he smiled at the thought of you, and remembering how you two met. He’d do anything to go back and relive that time. 

“That’s nice. It’s too bad we didn’t make it, huh?” Harry was caught off guard, not sure if he heard her right. 

“I’m sorry?” 

“I mean we were together for a while--practically throughout uni and after that. I always thought we were going to get married-”

“You have a fiance…” he looks at her in disbelief, not knowing what to say other than the obvious. 

“Well, yeah. But you were my first love,” she walked over to the other side, where he was standing, and Harry slowly backed away from her while looking at her with wide eyes. “And I don’t know who else you dated after me, but I didn’t know you downgraded so much-”

“Excuse me? Don’t think you can talk to me when you’re talking shit about my girl. Can’t believe you would think you would get away with saying that right in front of my face.” Harry was angry--he had a right to be. Girlfriend or best friend, he was always going to have your back. “She’s the most kind and selfless person I’ve ever met, and she’s been nothing but nice to you ever since she met you. Go talk shit somewhere else because if you think your opinions are going to change the way I see her, then you’re absolutely wrong because I’m in love with her.” Harry storms off, his food forgotten as he doesn’t give Ash a chance to speak. 

He huffed, brows furrowed as he walked home. He walked at a fast pace, needing to be away from the scene. As he walked, he heard voices ahead of him, and found you and his mum laughing. Quickly, he met you two halfway. 

“Oh hi, Harry,” you greeted as you and Anne stopped walking. 

“Can you come with me please?” 

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” Anne asked concerningly. 

“I just really need to talk to her,” he responded. You and Anne looked at each other, and she gave you a reassuring smile. 

“I’m gonna go back,” Anne rubbed his shoulder, knowing that something happened for him to act this way, and proceeded to walk back to the park. 

Harry grabbed your hand, and he was lucky that his home was only a few steps away, thankful that he decided to walk fast. 

“Harry, what’s wrong?” He doesn’t say anything but leads you to the front door, unlocking it. Even in his frustrated state, he’s still a gentleman as he lets you walk in first. Once inside, you asked again. “Are you okay?” 

Walking over to the couch, he grabbed one of the pillows and screamed into it. Your concern for him had raised, not knowing what happened. You sat beside him, rubbing his back as he let out his anger and frustrations into the pillow. 

After a few more seconds of screaming and a minute of silence, he finally lifted his head from the pillow, facing you. The look on your face was nothing but worry as your brows were pulled in. He took his thumb to smooth out your forehead, and your brows immediately retracted back to normal from his touch. 

“When you were with mum, she came to talk to me,” he stared. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for his words. “It was okay at first, but then…” he proceeded to tell you what Ash had said to him. How shocked he was to hear what was coming out of her mouth. He told you about how he told her off, and to not talk shit about you in front of him. 

He was proper angry, and you placed your hand on his cheek, caressing his skin with your thumb. 

“Thank you for standing up for me,” you gave him a small smile, and his face relaxed in your hand. 

“Of course. It felt so good to say out loud,” he said, and immediately closed his mouth. 

“What felt good?” 

It was now or never. Harry finally had the chance and opportunity to tell you how he really felt about you. And it may be the end of the friendship, but he’s hoping and wishing you’d reciprocate the feeling. 

“That I’m in love with you.” 

Your lips part, shocked to finally hear him say the words. The ones that you’ve been dreaming of since forever. 

“Harry…”

“I know I shouldn’t have said that, but I needed you to know,” he stood up and began pacing in front of you. 

“You love me?” Harry stopped and went back to the couch. 

“Yeah, I do. Do you love me?” He asked nervously. He wasn’t prepared for the rejection and the hurt, but when he saw you smile, his fears went away. 

You nodded enough to make you feel dizzy, and your head was spinning from happiness. “I love you, Harry. I love you.” 

“Wait, what? Really?” You nodded excitedly, smiling so big that your jaw was hurting. “Shut up!” He gasped, and you slapped his shoulder playfully. 

“I really do! Have for a while now,” you admitted. Your smile turned into a shy one as you were confessing the love you have for him for years. 

“There’s no way that you,” he points at you, “love me,” he points back at himself. You chuckled, grabbing his face in your hands and squeezing his cheeks together. 

“Well, I do. Believe it, baby.” Your thumb caressed his cheek, feeling his smooth skin under your finger. 

He quickly wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly as you felt him smile against your neck. “I can’t believe it. You love me?” 

“Yes! I have for a while now,” you kissed his neck. Slightly pulling back, your eyes met his. “Kiss me? For real this time?” 

Harry’s smile peeked out, taking your face in his hands and connecting your lips together. The kisses were heated, but they weren’t rushed. The two of you wanted to enjoy the moment alone with no interruptions—finally having one another in each other’s arms. 

“Wasn’t…faking it…earlier. The kiss—wasn’t faking it,” he said between kisses. You took the opportunity of his mouth opening to place your tongue into his mouth; tongues touching for the first time. It was like a spark shocked you once it happened, the chemistry between you was strong. 

“Take me upstairs,” you whispered. 

He slowly got up, not wanting to leave your lips, and he picked you up bridal style and took you to his room. He gently laid you on his bed and hovered over you, meeting your lips again. 

“Do you want this?” He asked, breathlessly. 

“Yeah, do you?” You looked deeply in his eyes, telling him like you really mean it. “Just want to be close to you. Don’t have to do anything else.” 

“Want this so fucking bad,” he reassured you by kissing you. 

“Want this off,” you said, lifting his shirt up. He sat on his knees and swiftly took off his shirt, and you were once again, amazed by his body. 

“A shirt for a shirt?” He teased. 

“No fair. I’m wearing a dress,” you pouted, and he kissed your bottom lip, making you smile. 

“Alright, fine.” He got off the bed and started unbuttoning his pants slowly. Your eyes raked down his tatted body, stopping at where his hands were. Harry pulled his jeans down, revealing him in his black underwear that hung low on his hips. You bit your lip in response to seeing him half naked. 

“God, you’re so hot,” your voice was low and sultry, and Harry’s dick hardened a little more. 

“Thanks, baby. Your turn?” He smirked. You nodded giving him a quick kiss as you two switched positions; you standing up and him laying on the bed. 

Back faced to him, you bent down and slowly brought the bottom of your dress up, exposing your legs—and then your panties. Suddenly, your dress wouldn’t lift up and over your waist. Harry watched you stop and try again, still not being able to get your dress off. 

You dropped your head, laughing to yourself before you turned around and you gave him a soft smile, embarrassed you stopped the show. 

“Everything okay, baby?” 

“Uh, yeah. Just a minor inconvenience. Do you mind…unzipping my dress? That was the reason why it wasn’t coming off,” you nervously chuckled. Harry smiled thinking you were the absolute cutest. 

“Of course, turn around.” You did, and unzipped your dress, pressing kisses as your skin was more exposed as he unzipped it. “Thank you. That was probably so embarrassing. Tried giving you a sexy show, but failed.” 

“Hey, it’s okay. Already love ya as it is. Don’t need to put on a show for me,” he reassures you. You walk closer to him, hugging his head to your chest. His hands raked the back of your thighs, making goosebumps appear on your skin. 

“I love you,” you said looking down at him. His smile was so big after you said those words, and you made sure to say them for the rest of time if it meant to see him smile like that. 

“I love you more.” 

You backed away from him, taking off your dress fully. The beauty of your body was indescribable. He just wanted to press kisses on every inch of your skin and appreciate how lucky he is to have you, and how happy he is that you’re able to trust him to show yourself like this. 

Kisses were being felt on your stomach, your sides, and up to your chest. You reached behind you to unhook your bra, exposing your chest to him. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” was the first words he said when he saw you fully. Without hesitation, he wrapped his mouth around your nipple as the other was being fondled by his hand, and proceeded to switch. You arched your back, silently begging for more of his tongue on your skin and he happily complied as your hands found his long hair. 

Your hands push his shoulder back on the bed, and he situated himself to sit against the headboard as you went to straddle his lap. 

“I’m too needy to stop, but can we take it slow?” You asked him as you littered kisses to his shoulder. 

“Of course. No need to rush anything.” 

After a few more kisses to his skin and his lips, you start to rock your hips. Harry’s groans softly while his hands find your ass, guiding you. 

“You’re so hard. Think—know you’re big.” You pressed your forehead against his, kissing the tip of his nose. 

Harry was already rock hard, but to hear you talk and praise him like that made him painfully harder. 

“Hard for you. ‘S all for you, baby. Been hard the moment I saw you walk out with your pretty dress on. You wet, my love?” He said back. 

“Mhm. So wet, baby—since the first time you kissed me. I wanted to ride you on the picnic table,” you moaned, hips rocking faster. 

“Fuck, who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” His hands scratched your back up and down, lightly. 

“Only you. Been waiting to use this mouth on you.” He hadn’t known if you meant vocally or physically, but he was completely okay with either one. 

You whimpered as your clothed clit moved against his cock. Both of you were on edge, waiting out the feeling because if dry humping felt this good, you wondered how it must feel when he’s inside you--just a couple of layers away from feeling his bare skin on yours.

“God, yes. C’mon, baby, know you’re close. Take what you need,” he moaned, wanting you to come before he does. You sit up, no longer pressed against his chest, and swivel your hips faster. Eyes pressed shut as your hands fly into your hair. He can see that you’re focusing on getting there as you bite your lip and tilt your head back, so he decides to help. Harry presses his thumb against your clit and circling it as you continue to move against him. 

“Fuck, Harry.” 

“Almost there?” He asked. 

“Mm, yeah. You?” Your body was shifted forward, knees on either side of him as you sat on them. Harry continued rubbing your clit, and you reached before you to stroke him through his underwear. 

Moans and praises were the only thing that was heard from the both of you as you two rubbed each other to your orgasms. Your body jolted as his hips bucked up, reaching peak. 

“Fuck, yes,” you collapsed onto his chest, catching your breath. 

“So fucking good.” His heart was pounding; raking his nails softly against your back. “Never dry fucked anyone before, and didn’t think I was gonna cum that hard,” he chuckled. You lifted your head to kiss his jaw. 

“But I’m all wet, baby,” you teased. 

“Your mouth…is fucking…filthy,” he kissed you in between his words, causing you to giggle. 

“You love it.” 

“Hell yeah I do.” 

A minute or two of silence was present between you two, embracing and cherishing one another as your bare chests were pressed against each other. You lifted your head up to meet his, smiling before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“Mmm,” he hummed into your lips, and you pulled back. 

“Maybe we should change? We’re both sticky in our pants,” you chuckled, and he nodded.

“This was all your doing--riding me like that. Wonder how you’re gonna feel when my cock is inside of you,” he smirked and your jaw dropped, but you got slightly wet again from his words, your thighs clenched together at the mere thought of it.

“And you say my mouth is fucking filthy!” 

“I learned it from the best,” he said, and you rolled your eyes. You got off of him and the bed, bending down to get a fresh new pair of panties until you heard him call out for you, “Hey.” 

You turned to look at him, a dopey smile plastered on his face as his cheeks were flushed. A sight you fell more in love with. 

“I love you, baby.” 

His words made your heart swoon, thinking you could get used to hearing that all the time now. 

“Say it again,” you said with a blushing smile. 

“I love you.” His voice was slow and raspy as he looked you in the eye, telling you he means it everytime. 

“Do you?” You asked teasingly. 

“So fuckin’ much.”

“I love you too, my love.”

feedback is appreciated here! <3

masterlist

[simoviacourt]

Channel 6 studios, outskirts of Zonneminster, late August - roughly three months have passed

*NOTE: this is a VERY long and text-heavy post discussing the current Simovian political situation, consider yourself warned*

Arturo: Good evening to our viewers and of course to our amazing studio audience! Welcome to another evening with The Talk! Tonight we’re going to dive into all the latest news of the week and with me around the table I have our wonderful guests for the night...

Next

Arturo: (continued) First, let me present to you Anne Kortehof, the controversial yet always impeccably stylish Queen of Simstagram!

Anne: Thank you Arturo, happy to be here tonight!

Arturo: We also have Simovia’s national pride and the newly minted captain of our national football team… Elmer De Marees! What do you think, will we bring home the world championship this year?

Elmer: We’ve got some tough opponents but the team and I will be giving it our best!

Arturo: Great to hear, it really has been too long! Then, I’m happy to introduce to you a woman I greatly admire - Iza Laan, the founder of the political think tank “Future Solutions” and the youngest woman to appear on the cover of Money Monthly! Welcome!

Iza: Thanks, Arturo, it’s a pleasure!

Arturo: And finally, my very good friend and a man whom we all adore - Nandu Talkar!

(huge applause from the audience)

Nandu: Thanks Ar, great to be here, as always! 

Arturo: Now, a little bird told me that you might have some new songs to share with us later tonight…

Nandu: Only if you behave…

(audience laughs)

Arturo: I’m sure I have no idea what you mean! But, first, let’s dive into this week’s headlines...

Arturo: (continued) Well, now that the summer is over, our newly elected parliament is in session, with a new prime minister! On Monday Her Royal Majesty officially took Mr Caan’s pledge of fealty and opened the parliament for the year...

(booing from the audience)

Arturo: Ah, it would seem that not everyone has much love for the Prime Minister..

Anne: Or they don’t see why a man should have to kneel in front of a useless woman…

Nandu: Oh wow, are we even five minutes in?

Iza: Well, I think that’s the last time we will see that man kneeling in front of anyone. 

Arturo: Not a fan of Mr Caan’s, Iza?

Iza: Not exactly, no, though I know Anne here adores the man. 

Anne: Me and half the country.

Iza: Which still seems ludicrous to me. But, populists will always have their appeal, I suppose. 

Anne: If by populist you mean that he isn’t afraid to go against the mainstream and say things as they are, then yeah, there’s definitely an appeal. Finally we have a prime minister who won’t play the same old political games that all the others have. Someone who will put Simovian interests first. 

Iza: And what does that even mean? He’d close our borders and end all international collaboration...

Anne: Which brought us to war once already and how well did that work out for us.

(cheers from the audience)

Iza: International collaboration also has created thousands of new jobs and there are countless businesses that rely on the good relations that the Queen works hard to foster. 

Anne: Ah yes, you’re one of those!

Iza: I beg your pardon?

Anne: Monarchists… you lot always -- 

Arturo: Hey hey loving the exchange of views but let’s keep it civil!

Elmer: This is exactly why I avoid these conversations.

Nandu: You and me both…

Iza: Easy for you both, with all respect. De Marees, doesn’t your grandfather sit in the House of Lords? 

Elmer: Yes, but…

Anne: The elite couldn't care less about the dealings of this country as long as they’re comfortable. 

Nandu: (laughs) Ha, that’s the first time someone has ever counted me among the elite! 

Anne: Well you mingle with them often enough… aren’t you friends with the Queen? 

Nandu: I’ve even never had the pleasure to meet Her Royal Majesty. 

Anne: Well, Prince Andrew then?

Nandu: I have met His Royal Highness and attended events with him, yes… but whether we’re friends, hard to say. He’s a nice guy, though, excellent company. But that doesn’t make me one of this “elite” you keep mentioning on your socials. I’ve worked hard to get where I am today. 

Iza: Yet your current position allows you to claim this apolitical stance.

Nandu: Just because I don’t like talking about politics doesn’t mean I don’t care or vote, for that matter. I’m not clueless. My family still can’t vote in this country and though I was born here and grew up here, I doubt Mr Caan and his party would consider me Simovian. 

Anne: That’s not true, he has nothing against new Simovians. 

Nandu: As opposed to what? The old Simovians? How many generations does it take to belong to that group?

Iza: And that’s just one of the reasons that I’m not a fan of Mr Caan, as you put it Arturo. His rhetoric is divisive at best and blatantly xenophobic at worst. And now he is the prime minister. I’m actually not a monarchist, there are so many things wrong with the institution but it’s times like these that I’m happy that we have a Queen who can push back on what he’d otherwise do to our country. 

Anne: Have you ever actually talked to him or attended one of his seminars? He has great plans for Simovia! I know that the media loves to paint him as this xenophobic loudmouth but he’s actually a really lovely man. He’s well educated but he doesn’t hide in his ivory tower. He knows that the people want freedom and he’s willing to give it to them.

Iza: You can’t be serious… freedom to what? Starve and end up on the street with no healthcare? I’ve read through his plans, they’re now out there on the government’s website and what I see is...

Anne: He just wants to encourage people to make the best choices in their own lives. Being controlled by some big political machine won’t let people do that. If you just opened your eyes, I’m sure you could see that.

Iza: I… Arturo please can we move on? Seriously... I can’t believe that I’m forced to debate politics with someone who clearly has no understanding of how society functions. 

Arturo: Now Iza, she does have a right to her opinion… but, it is about time we moved on. After the break, more engagement rumours between Her Royal Majesty the Queen and His Grace the Landgraaf van Hoensbroek...

Next

[spencers-renaissance]

storm-darkened or starry bright

Summary: Spencer contracts HIV. It all falls apart after that.

Tags: angst, illness, hurt!spencer, hurt/comfort, worried derek, depression, mutual pining, getting together, angst w a happy ending

TW: vomit, implied/referenced sex and addiction, disordered thinking, depression as a result of medical diagnosis

Pairing: Derek Morgan x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 6.5k

Masterlist // Read on AO3 // Bad Things Happen Bingo

(I've tagged my usual moreid taglist in this fic, but I won't be offended at all if this is too heavy for you!)

Title from "Where All My Books Go" - W.B. Yeats.

Originally inspired by J_Ballinger's Swift, Fierce & Obscene which is just a brilliant piece of art.

you said I could have anything I wanted, but I just couldn’t say it out loud — richard siken, litany in which certain things are crossed out

It starts with the flu.

He calls into work sick and he makes himself comfortable in bed, preparing to ride it out. It is the middle of January after all, and their last case saw them in Ann Arbor, shivering their way through each crime scene and a police station with abysmal heating.

His lymph nodes are swollen, and he’s running a moderate fever — 102 the last time he checked — and the cough he’s had for a couple of days is definitely getting nastier, but he uses the time to catch up on the documentaries he’s had stored on his DVR for the past couple of months. He tries to see it as a positive: he never gets time to rest like this. Warm soup, chamomile tea, and some Nyquil should be the end of it.

He makes the most of it. He gets better. He goes back to work, and life goes on.

“It’s not like you to get sick, Reid.”

Emily doesn’t mean anything by it, it’s about as innocuous as a comment can possibly be, but something about it makes his heart stop for a second. Because the thing is, she’s right. The last time he was actually sick was the anthrax poisoning three years ago, which can hardly be blamed on his body itself. He hasn’t been sick with a virus since he was a child — certainly not anything more than a mild winter cold.

His world turns upside down in the middle of a Tuesday, a couple of them gathered around Derek’s desk laughing about nothing in particular, the easy camaraderie of a close-knit team without a time-sensitive case on their minds.

Three and a half weeks ago: a night heady with alcohol in a gay bar in downtown DC, a charged encounter with a man just Spencer’s type, a whispered invitation back to his place, not making it past the bathroom…

He pales, suddenly feeling violently ill at the prospect of what’s happened, how badly he’s fucked up this time.

“Spencer, are you okay?” Emily asks, suddenly noticing his appearance. “You look really pale… maybe you’re not ready to be back at work yet.”

Forcing himself out of his stupor, he manages to open his mouth without vomiting. “I don’t feel so good,” he says, and even to him his voice sounds weak and distant. Blood roars in his ears, and all he can think is what that blood could very well be tainted with.

Far away voices discuss something he doesn’t pay attention to before Derek’s placing his hand on his shoulder, drawing him back into the discussion. “I’m gonna drive you home, okay?” Emily isn’t standing at the desk anymore, but he doesn’t think to look around for her, just locks eyes with Derek: noticing his brows knit deeply in concern, worry clouding his dark, striking eyes.

He lets himself be led down to the garage. Later, he won’t remember any of the winding car journey home, Derek’s worried sideways glances, his attempts at making conversation, tucking him into bed, his hesitancy to leave and go back to work. He’ll just remember the weight of his realisation, the sinking acknowledgement of what this means.

What it makes him.

⭐️

The next day, he wakes up ravenously hungry. He doesn’t remember anything after the dreaded realisation, but he remembers that he came to it only minutes after eating lunch: meaning he’s gone over eighteen hours without food. Somehow, he manages to pick himself out of bed and stumble to the kitchen, pouring himself a bowl of cereal. He finishes it all and doesn’t taste a single bite.

He texts the group chat Penelope had made for the whole team last year, ignoring the dozens of anxious messages from his team already filling his phone. Won’t be in.

Almost on auto-pilot, he gets dressed, picks up his phone, wallet, and keys, and walks to his nearest metro station. He counts four stops, gets out of the carriage and walks up the stairs onto the street, weaving through exactly three streets until he finds himself staring at the sign for his Urgent Care clinic.

Words — not ashes, as some small part of him anticipates — manage to spill from his lips as he tells the doctor everything from the unprotected sex he vaguely recalls having on the night of Saturday the 12th of March to his brief flu-like symptoms to his sickly realisation yesterday. Vaguely, he thinks there’s some sort of sick humour in being able to recall exactly what day he had sex, but not the details of the sex itself. Alcohol and dilaudid are the only things that have ever been able to interfere with his memory.

He obediently opens his mouth for a saliva swab, lets the nurse prick his finger and collect a drop of his blood. He wonders if she knows what they’re testing him for. He wonders if she thinks he’s as dirty as he feels, if she’ll violently scrub her hands after smiling politely at him, if she’ll roll her eyes when she talks to the other nurses, lamenting his stupidity.

The sounds of the waiting room melt into the background as he waits for the test to be conducted, and judging by the tone of the nurse who gets his attention when it’s time to return to the doctor’s office, it’s not her first attempt.

He mutters a distracted apology as he gets up from his seat, but she just smiles sympathetically. It shouldn’t get his back up in the way it does.

“I’m afraid you have tested positive for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, Dr Reid,” she tells him, her voice gentle but straight-forward. He’s at least glad she doesn’t try and soften the blow. It’s not a blow that deserves to be softened. “I know this is a shock, but—”

“It’s not a shock.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s not a shock,” he repeats insistently; impatiently. “I knew it was coming. It’s my own fault.”

“Playing blame games isn’t going to help anybody here, Dr Reid,” she says firmly, meeting his eye. “Whether you were expecting it or not, this would knock anyone off-kilter, and I’d be remiss not to acknowledge that.”

She waits for his reluctant nod before continuing. “The good news is that we’ve caught it early enough to contain the infection. Your CD4 levels are very good, and you do not meet AIDS criteria. I’ve referred you to Dr Frederiks at George Washington University Hospital. He’s an expert in Infectious Disease and specialises in HIV/AIDS treatment. He can see you tomorrow at ten o’clock.”

He arrives back at his apartment almost $300 out of pocket, having gained nothing but a positive HIV diagnosis. The FBI has brilliant healthcare insurance but Spencer ticked the ‘no’ box on the insurance form. He can’t risk anybody knowing about this.

He texts Hotch and tells him he has a doctor’s appointment in the morning and will let him know whether he’ll make it in for the afternoon. Then he lays on the sofa, and cries.

⭐️

“HIV is a chronic illness,” the doctor explains at four minutes past ten the next morning, “a latent infection. Not a death sentence. Medications have come leaps and bounds in the last ten years, and the regimes aren’t anywhere near as rigorous as they used to be. With your CD4 levels this good, your life really won’t be much different than it was a few weeks ago.”

Spencer’s never had much interest in medicine — after all, there’s a reason he’s not that kind of doctor — but he knows this much. He doesn’t tell the doctor that he’s wasting his time explaining the basics of the disease, just stares blankly at the point in between his eyes, staring at the small crease in his skin, the way it moves as he speaks.

“It’s likely that you’ll die of something else, Dr Reid, decades in the future. When managed correctly, HIV is rarely deadly.”

This seems irrelevant: it doesn’t matter to Spencer what he dies of. Whether his immune system gives in or he’s shot in the line of duty or drops dead in the street from an aneurysm he doesn’t see coming, he’ll be dead.

He still doesn’t say anything.

“For the first six months of infection, the risk of transmission to sexual partners is high,” he continues, unfazed by Spencer’s lack of response. “Are you in a relationship?”

“No.” It’s the first word he’s spoken since he entered this office. His voice breaks. He can’t have the person he wants: this feels like the nail in the coffin of a relationship dead on arrival.

A look of sympathy crosses Dr Frederik’s face. “In any casual encounters you may engage in, you’ll need to be extra careful. Do you have the contact details of the person you contracted this from?”

His voice is steadier this time. “No.”

“Do you have any suspicion that you were deliberately infected by them?”

“No,” he answers, because he doesn’t, but it occurs to him that he’ll never actually know. He doesn’t remember if they used a condom; if he even wanted to use one. (All he remembers is his muscles and the way he pretended he was Derek, the amused look on the other man’s face when he whispered his name like a prayer.)

“That’s fine,” the doctor smiles encouragingly. It feels patronising. “We’re going to start with a triple combination of medications: tenofovir and emtricitabine combined with dolutegravir. HIV is an adaptable virus and easily becomes resistant, so it’s best to attack it hard and fast as early as possible to give you your best chances at an undetectable viral load in the next year. Which, I might add, Dr Reid, is a completely reasonable goal. At that stage, you will not be all that infectious. You’ll have bloods drawn before you leave to estimate your baseline kidney and liver function as well as overall health. In three months, you’ll have another test, and in six months, we’ll assess how well the drugs are working for you.”

Spencer nods, his eyes not leaving the crease between Dr Frederik’s eyebrows.

“Make those appointments with my secretary on your way out, and contact me if you have any concerns.” He pushes a brown paper envelope across the desk. “Inside you’ll find a copy of your positive test result, your prescriptions, and a number of leaflets on the condition as a whole.”

He squashes the urge to push the envelope back across the desk and nods again.

“Pick up the medication before the end of today and start them either tonight or in the morning,” he advises, before standing up from behind the desk and walking towards the door.

Spencer follows obediently, nodding once more and forcing a grimace onto his face, before walking down the hallway towards the secretary, another stranger he has to share his secret with. Swallowing down the urge to either scream or vomit, he fiddles with the envelope in his hands and bites the bullet.

⭐️

He tells Hotch that he won’t be in that day, and he goes home and forces himself to get it together. He showers first, the hot water washing the grime of the last few days down the drain, but he can’t do anything about the lingering layer of shame clinging to his skin. For the first time since the realisation, he forces himself to look in the mirror. A thin, pallid man with bags under his eyes and the look of someone harbouring a secret looks back at him.

His hair has grown out a little in the last few months, actual curls visible around his face (memories flash across his mind of breathy gasps; a hand buried in his hair, pulling ever-so-gently but they’re gone before they’re even remotely tangible), and he lost a little bit of weight he couldn’t afford to lose during his symptomatic period.

But, as frustrating as it is, it’s not what he sees. Not really. He sees Spencer Reid, possessor of five degrees, soon to become six, expert analyst in the FBI, the man who listens to jazz when he studies and watches documentaries for fun and solves crossword puzzles on the metro.

Something inside him shifts as he’s reminded of his humanity in that moment. It’s the most okay he’s felt in the last forty-eight hours.

He’ll take it.

He goes back to work the next day with little fanfare, getting warm smiles and ‘glad you’re feeling better’s from the team before they’re plunged headfirst into a new case, as it so often goes. They fly to Vermont, and part of him is glad for the distraction: no more talking about his illness, no more self-pity — he’s forced to try and bridge the gap between Dr Spencer Reid, Before and Dr Spencer Reid, HIV Positive as quickly and seamlessly as possible.

He does what he’s good at: offers relevant, detailed facts, profiles the victims and the unsub, cites studies that help them get to the bottom of the case, and for a moment he allows himself to forget about the virus coursing through his blood and the feeling of shame he can’t quite shake no matter how clean he scrubs his skin.

They get to the hotel late that evening and Spencer takes his second dose of medication, individually popping each tablet from it’s sheet into his hand. The pharmacist he spoke to yesterday told him that from his next medication order they can put all three tablets into a blister packet for him, but for now he’s stuck punching through three different plastic packets every night. Derek asks him to join them at the bar for a drink, but Spencer turns him down. He’s barely been able to look him in the eye.

If, in some rare and far flung universe, Derek did want to date Spencer, he wouldn’t want to date HIV positive, ex-addict, reckless and unsafe Spencer.

He wouldn’t want to date a man so heartbroken and lovesick that he got black-out drunk and slept with someone — most likely without a condom — just because he bared a passing resemblance to Derek. Contracting the Human Immunodeficiency Virus in the process.

No.

Spencer spends the evening staring into the mirror instead, desperately trying to find the man he was four days ago under the burden of broken suffering he seems to have picked up along with the diagnosis, the positive test, the sympathetic doctors.

When he hears the others come up past midnight and pile into their hotel rooms, laughing and chattering among themselves, Spencer still hasn’t looked away.

The use of the case as a distraction only works until 11am the next day. He’d had trouble falling asleep, and he’s powering through the day fuelled by black coffee and raw determination alone, but those motivators — as effective as they can be — can’t stop his legs from shaking as he stares at the geo-profile, searching for what they’re missing.

It sucks, but he’s glad for the warning the shaking gives him. He finds a chair and sits down, which is likely the only thing that stops him from collapsing when black dots swim in his vision and he’s suddenly vomiting down his front.

“Reid!” Hotch cries, running from the other end of the police station to where he’s sitting, panic clear on his face. They’re the only two from their unit currently in the station, but Hotch quickly locates an officer and turns to him. “Call an ambulance.”

“No,” Spencer manages to protest, although it only makes him want to be sick again, “‘m fine, promise.”

“What’s going on? I thought the flu had passed? Healthy people don’t spontaneously vomit and almost pass out, Reid.”

Somehow, his addled brain manages to concoct a decent enough lie. “Keep thinking I’m better,” he mumbles, leaning forward to put his head between his legs as Hotch places a hand on his back, “and then I’m not.”

“You’re sure this is just the flu?” Hotch asks, concerned but at least appearing to believe him.

“Certain,” Spencer lies.

Hotch nods once before shaking his head at the officer on standby with a phone to call an ambulance. “Well, you can’t work the case like this,” he sighs. “We need to get you back to the hotel, okay? You can rest there. God, Reid, what did the doctor say?”

“Bad case of the flu. Gave me some strong Tamiflu and told me I’d be fine in a couple days.” He gasps the words out in between intense waves of nausea, clasping his hands together in an iron grip.

He absolutely can’t let Hotch catch on. In the nine years he’s worked at the FBI, he’s managed to conceal his sexuality below layers upon layers of closeting, and he’s not about to be forced out now. It started as a purely protectionist strategy — law enforcement in the early 2000s didn’t exactly have a stellar reputation when it came to tolerance — but then he just felt forced too deep, felt the web of lies spun too tightly around him to even begin to unpick them.

Terror seizes his heart at the idea of his team knowing who he really is: not because he expects homophobia or backlash, but because he’s not sure he’s ready to live that openly yet. He’s never been good with change, and this is no exception.

It doesn’t help that the whole team is all too aware of his past addiction. He dreads the thought of them thinking he’s using again and, worse, so irresponsibly that he managed to contract HIV.

Hotch gets a rookie officer to drive him back to the hotel, and she keeps sending him nervous glances, most likely worried he’ll stink up her immaculately kept squad car with his spontaneous vomiting. Both he and the car make the journey unscathed, although he knows he probably looks as green as he feels as he drags himself up the stairs — could there possibly be a worse time for an out of order elevator? — and somehow manages to make it to the bed before he collapses.

Unfortunately, his restful slumber doesn’t last long. He’s woken up not half an hour later with the intense need to be sick again, and he races to the toilet, where he spends the next two hours: intermittently slumped over it, being sick into it, and lying on the cold tiles next to it.

It feels like a punishment. If Spencer was a religious man he’d be certain God was smiting him for his sins, but instead he’s left instead pondering karma or fate or some other theory he doesn’t really buy into either. Logically, he knows it’s just a combination of guilt and regret — he made a mistake, he’s suffering the consequences; there’s no fate or religion or karma involved — but his delirious, out of sorts mind struggles to hold on to that.

Reason doesn’t make the nausea any less crippling, after all.

Eventually, he must manage to pass out on the bathroom floor, because he’s being shaken awake by a pair of gentle hands, and when he finally opens his eyes, it’s dark outside.

“Spence?”

Shit. Derek.

His eyes fly open and he fights to sit up, to make himself more presentable. The smell of vomit lingers in the air and he remembers that he didn’t even put the toilet seat down, let alone flush it. (At least he thought to change out of his vomit-covered shirt. Thank God for small mercies.) He blushes, and thinks he must look a pretty picture of red and green as he finally meets Derek’s eyes.

“God, Spence, how bad is this flu?” he asks worriedly, smoothing his hair with the palm of his hand. Despite himself, Spencer finds himself pressing back into the touch, relishing any contact he can get.

Then it hits him: he’s dirty. He can’t contaminate Derek like this.

“You should leave,” he asserts hurriedly as he pulls away, hating that desperation is so obvious in his voice. “I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve cleaned everything up, and I used gloves. I’ve been in contact with you the last couple of days, so if you were going to get me sick you would’ve already. I just want to be here for you.”

Spencer squeezes his eyes closed so tightly they hurt. He wants nothing more than to fold himself into Derek’s arms, let himself be comforted by the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with. But he can’t. There are so many reasons that he can’t.

“No,” he says, not opening his eyes, resenting the tear that slips out and spills down his cheek. “You can’t. I’m… I’m not safe to be around.”

He doesn’t really mean to say it, but it escapes anyway, and he opens his eyes just in time to see the confusion cross Derek’s face. “Not safe to…? Spencer, what—”

“I just… I need to be alone.”

“No, you don’t,” Derek says softly, bringing a hand to his hair again, and he knows that HIV isn’t transmitted through sweat or vomit but he’s dirty, and Derek is so so good, he can’t be responsible for tainting him. Derek doesn’t relent, though, not even when Spencer pulls away from his touch and shrinks in on himself, leaning against the toilet. “You need to allow yourself to be comforted. You need to let me help, Spencer.”

Suddenly, he feels incredibly tired: the energy seeping out of his body, and he’s boneless against the toilet, absent even of the effort to hold himself upright.

“Come on, let’s get you into bed.” He puts his arms around Spencer’s rolled up body and lifts him, holding him close to his chest as he carries him from the bathroom to the bed.

Spencer doesn’t just let him, he curls into his embrace, clinging to the material of his t-shirt like it’s his only grip on reality.

(Later, he’ll blame the fever, but deep down he knows that just once, he wanted to play pretend, and just once, he didn’t have the energy to stop himself.)

⭐️

The side effects take weeks to finally leave, his body having a hard time adjusting to not only a deadly virus in his bloodstream, but some of the strongest drugs on the market inhibiting his natural enzyme production. Eventually, though, he’s back at work properly, selling a story about a simultaneous gastro-intestinal virus making the flu exponentially worse.

He’s not really sure everyone believes him, but nobody questions it out loud, so he avoids everyone’s eyes and takes it as a win.

Nobody gets close enough to try, anyway. He pushes everyone away, holds them at arm's length no matter how much they kick and scream and claw their way closer to him. It surprises him how persistent Derek is, and for a moment he feels a sad flutter of hope in his stomach and he’s forced to stamp it down: Derek sees him as a brother, a friend, a colleague, not a potential romantic partner.

And it would be irrelevant, even if he did. Derek wouldn’t want him as any of those things if he knew what he was hiding. Ever since his lapse in judgement on the case in Vermont, he’s refused to spend any time alone with Derek, and he hates the hurt he sees in his eyes, hates that he can’t scream at him that this is for his own good. But he can’t know. Because Spencer is still ruled by his relentless selfish desires, and he can’t let Derek go, no matter how hard he tries to.

Kept at arm’s length at least means he’s still touching his shoulders.

He muddles through the next few months on his own, returning to his quiet apartment every night and eating a sad, lonely dinner on his sad, lonely sofa before punching his way through a blister pack, taking his tablets, and going to sleep. He turns down drinks invitations, declines phone calls, ignores text messages. He pretends he isn’t home when there are knocks at his door.

He takes showers that are too hot and cries on the metro, scrubs his fingernails and his face, and when he got a shallow knife wound on a case last month, wouldn’t let a single member of the team near him. Whispering his status, shame-faced, to the attending EMT.

This is it, he thinks one night, as he opens the microwave and takes out the mac-and-cheese ready meal he’d bought on the way home that night. He doesn’t even like mac-and-cheese. It was just the only thing left in the store at 8.30pm. This is my life now. Standing in my kitchen at 9.15pm, not being able to remember the last time I was actually happy.

(He does remember, really. It was Sunday the 13th of March, 9.37am: Derek had ruffled his hair and joked with him as they waited alone in the conference room to find out what was so urgent they were being called into work on the weekend for. Spencer could still feel the aftermath of his Saturday night tryst, and pretended for a brief few minutes that that encounter was with Derek, and those jokes were actually flirting. But then the case took over, then the flu symptoms, and then. Well.)

Before he can carry the mac-and-cheese into the living room, though, there’s a knock at the door. Everyone had mostly given up on turning up unannounced, so it catches him off-guard, and something in him, some vain flicker of hope, or maybe a masochistic desire to hurt even more, propels him forward until he’s opening it and coming face to face with Derek Morgan.

“Spencer,” he says urgently, and panic immediately grips Spencer as he wonders what could be so wrong that he’d need to show up out of the blue, but Derek must see it on his face. “Nothing’s happened, don’t worry, I just… I need to speak to you.”

A knot of something that Spencer can’t quite place tightens in his stomach as he stares at the myriad of emotions playing across Derek’s face, but he steps aside to let him in anyway. He closes the door behind them and feels a flash of embarrassment at the state of his apartment. It’s completely clean — his already rigorous attitude towards germ and cleanliness have only intensified in the last few months as paranoia plagued his mind relentlessly — but it’s barren of any joy, and it couldn’t be more obvious.

The furniture is drab and Spencer’s packed away all the photos and trinkets that used to litter the entire place because they just made him too sad to look at. The only life that remains is his books, and the sheet he’d hung to cover them up in a fit of rage a couple of weeks ago still hangs there limply. He hadn’t wanted to see his books: didn’t want the temptation of touching them and tainting them. What if he got a papercut on one of the pages and his virus-ridden blood spilled across the words he treasures so dearly?

He watches as Derek surveys the place with a sad expression on his face, before recollecting himself and turning back to Spencer.

“I know you’ve been pulling away from us, Spence,” he says, almost breathless as he takes a seat on the sofa. Spencer doesn’t know what to do with his body, so he settles on remaining where he is: stock still facing the couch, his hands buried deep in his trouser pockets. “We’ve watched you become a shell of who you used to be, and we’re all worried about you—”

“I don’t—”

“No, just let me speak. Everyone is worried, and I am too, but… I’m also… I’m hurt, Spencer. You’re pushing me away, turning me down every time I try to get close to you, and it’s painful because you’re my friend. You’re my best friend, and you mean the world to me.”

I wouldn’t if you knew my secret, he thinks miserably, but he doesn’t say anything.

“More than anything, though, it hurts… because I’m in love with you.”

Spencer stares. He’s hallucinating, he has to be.

“And I know — well, I don’t know because we’ve never talked about it — but I know you’re probably straight and even if you were interested in guys, too, who’s to say you’d be in love with me back? But I had to tell you because our relationship is heading south anyway, plummeting straight for the ground, and I figured it couldn’t hurt, I just… say something? Please?”

He doesn’t mean to say it.

“I’m HIV positive.”

It’s Derek’s turn to stare. Spencer can’t meet his eyes, and suddenly feeling like he needs to Get Out, he rushes to the kitchen and picks up his rapidly cooling mac-and-cheese. He gets a fork out and faces the countertop, away from Derek, as he starts to shovel unsatisfying bites into his not-hungry stomach.

It can’t even be a full minute later that he hears footsteps behind him. “You have AIDS?”

He sets the mac-and-cheese back on the counter. “No,” he answers, not turning around. “I tested positive for HIV; I don’t meet AIDS criteria. My CD4 levels are apparently very good, and the medication I’m taking is proving effective in controlling and managing the virus. I don’t have side effects anymore, and I don’t feel any different than I did before I contracted it.”

There’s a beat of silence. “And this is why you’ve been pulling away from us?”

Spencer hesitates before nodding shamefully, his eyes burning a hole in his dinner. “I didn’t know how to tell anyone, and I—” He’s cut off by a heaving sob. It catches him by surprise, but suddenly he’s choking on emotion: everything he’s been through, everything he’s been dealing with alone for so long a burden he no longer knows how to carry.

“Oh, baby,” Derek breathes, rushing forward and turning Spencer until his face is pressed into his neck and their arms are wrapped around one another. The nickname only furthers his emotion, falling apart completely in such a way that makes him unsure he’ll ever be put back together again. “I’m so sorry.”

He lets Spencer cry it out until his sobs recede and his tears slow, and he feels confident enough to pull away and meet Derek’s eye properly again. It feels like a reconnection; a reconciliation of sorts, and his breath catches at the emotion on his face. He’d expected a meddle of sympathy and disgust, but all he finds is compassion and love, tinged by a sadness Spencer supposes probably comes from watching the man you’ve just professed to love fall apart like that.

Oh wait. Derek just told him—

“You love me?” His voice comes out quieter and shyer than he’d hoped, and not nearly as incredulous as he’d intended, but Derek softens anyway.

“Yes,” he says emphatically. “So much. And if you think you telling me this is going to change how I feel even a bit, then you’re dead wrong, Spencer.”

It’s suddenly too much to think that everything he’d feared happening for the last few months was wrong, and he’s gasping for breath again, sinking to the ground to bury his face in his hands.

“Spence?” Derek asks worriedly, following him to the floor. “Oh, God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No… please, you’ve done nothing wrong.” He takes a deep breath, trying to recenter himself, ground himself in the reality that’s unfolding before him, no matter how different it might look than that of his anticipation. “You know, the man. Um, the man I… contracted this from. I slept with him because he looked like you.”

He looks up and meets Derek’s eyes again, searching for anything in them to confirm that he was thinking all the thoughts Spencer feared and coming up empty. “I was so heartsick that I got blind-drunk and slept with a complete stranger because it was the closest to you I ever thought I’d get and then I was just so scared of what everyone would say when I found out. I know logically that HIV doesn’t make someone dangerous or unclean, but I just couldn’t shake this feeling of shame, you know? I was constantly panicked that I’d pass it to one of you. Besides, I’m not even out to the team, and I know the implications of a disease like this: gay or an IV drugs user — I didn’t know how to deal with the fact that I was both. I’m clean, and I’ve stayed clean, I just…”

“Hey, I get it,” Derek says gently, reaching out a hand and cupping Spencer’s cheek gently. “I think if I was in the same boat I probably would’ve reacted in exactly the same way. You can’t be blamed for bowing to a social stigma this heavy, Spence. I’m just sorry I didn’t realise what was going on sooner. And even sorrier, for that matter, that I didn’t tell you I was in love with you before this even had a chance to happen.”

Spencer smiles a little at that. “Hey, I didn’t tell you either. I don’t blame you at all. Neither of us were out and confessing something like that is no small feat.”

“I suppose so.”

Spencer shifts a little in his position on the floor, the raging storm of emotion that he’s been drowning under for the past four and a half months quieting for the very first time. He breathes deeply for a few seconds before working up the courage to ask the question he really wants the answer to. “I know you said that this doesn’t change the way you feel—”

“And it doesn’t.”

“Yeah,” Spencer nods, because suddenly he gets that. He isn’t sure what took so long. “But does it make you not want to be in a relationship with me?”

“Spencer, no.” Derek’s voice is urgent as he makes intense eye contact with him, raising a gentle finger to his chin. “It doesn’t change a single. thing. I don’t know much about HIV, I’ll admit, but I do know that these days you can get to a point where it doesn’t transmit to partners. And we can be really safe about it. I’ll do all the research to make you comfortable, but Spencer, even if it did mean that we could never have sex, I’d still want you. I want you so badly, pretty boy.”

He can hardly believe his ears. “Really?”

“Really.” He swipes his thumb across his cheek, catching a falling tear. “I’m hopelessly, desperately in love with you, Spencer. I have been for years. You can ask, Penelope: she’s been putting up with my pining like a saint, but I’m not sure she could’ve taken it much longer.”

“I’ve been in love with you for years, too.” Another tear falls as the prospect of what’s about to happen really sinks in.

“Can I?” Derek murmurs, as he inches closer ever so slowly.

“Please,” Spencer whispers, barely finishing the word before their lips are colliding and a flurry of butterflies break out in his stomach as his chest glows with the warmth of a kiss he’s long been aching for. Derek’s hands find his waist, his jaw, his cheek, his hair, exploring his body ever so softly as he kisses him with the same inquisitive gentleness, managing to take him apart with just his lips and his hands.

“God,” he whispers as he finally pulls away, pressing his forehead to Spencer’s as he struggles to hide his wide grin. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve dreamed of that. I’m gonna be like a teenage girl tonight, running my fingers across my lips as I remember every minute of it.”

Spencer giggles at that. “Well you can rest easy in the knowledge that I’ll be doing the same.” He pulls away slightly and looks down for a second before looking back up into Derek’s earnest gaze. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”

“I’ll kiss you like that every day for as long as you’ll have me.” He doesn’t hesitate to lean back in, connecting their lips again as they melt into one another’s touches, and it makes Spencer laugh later that the most intimate and passionate encounter of his life so far happened on the kitchen floor.

They pull apart as soon as it heats up a little bit, and pain flashes across both of their expressions at the thought of why.

“There’s this thing called PrEP,” Spencer says, still a little ashamed of his situation, that Derek has to be protected against him before they can take this any further. “It’s medication that you take before and after sex with a HIV positive person that blocks the virus from entering your bloodstream if you were to somehow contract it. And we can wear condoms. And once I reach an undetectable viral load, it means the virus is untransmittable, and you won’t contract it even if we’re unprotected.”

Derek blinks. “Wow, that’s… that’s better than I thought.”

“Really? You’re still okay with all this?”

He softens. “Pretty boy, I am so okay with all this, and I’m sorry that you spent so long thinking otherwise. We have time to figure all this out, but what matters is that right now, I have you next to me, and we love each other. Don’t you think?”

“Yeah.” He smiles, and leans forward to kiss Derek chastely. “I do.”

“Now, how about we bin that disgusting mac-and-cheese and order some Chinese?” he suggests, matching Spencer’s smile. “We could eat it in bed and watch one of those documentaries you’re always talking about.”

Spencer laughs fondly. “You want our first date to be eating takeaway and watching a science documentary in bed?”

“Well it sounds perfect to me.”

“Yeah, it sounds pretty perfect to me, too,” Spencer whispers, the happiness in his chest feeling warm and inviting, begging him to bask in the moment for as long as he can.

They’ll work out the specifics later — they’ll get Derek started on PrEP and attend Spencer’s appointments to measure his viral load, they’ll have important and serious conversations about the risks to both of them, they’ll work out what their relationship means for work, how they’ll begin to repair the damage the last few months have done to Spencer’s mental health — but right now, none of that matters.

All that does is: the buffet of Chinese food Derek lays out on a blanket on Spencer’s bed, the documentary about bees playing on the TV, and the thrilled little glances thrown each other’s way, the stolen kisses and casual touches, the love palpable in the air around them. And later, when the food is eaten, and the documentary is playing the credits: Spencer’s tired head resting on Derek’s loving chest, and the syncing of their heartbeats as they fall asleep to the sound of each other.

This shouldn't have to be said but please do not use fanfiction as sex education and PLEASE practice safe sex. As far as I know, all the information included in this fic is correct, but I have no personal experience with HIV/AIDS, and this is very much written from an outsider's perspective - albeit a thoroughly researched one.

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @suburban--gothic @strippersenseii @takeyourleap-of-faith @negativefouriq @makaylajadewrites @iamrenstark @livrere-blue @hotchseyebrows @jellejareau @reidology @i-like-buttons @spencerspecifics @bau-gremlin @hotchedyke @tobias-hankel @goobzoop @marsjareau @garcias-bitch @oliverbrnch @im-autistic-not-stupid (taglist form)

[shewhospeakswiththunder]

Perhaps you’re feeling bored at home or, if considered an “essential” worker like me, you need a little fun and stress relief. Here is my masterpost of fic recs from my two years of reading so far. Maybe you’ll find something new, or reconnect with an old favorite. Either way--

Enjoy! 😷💕

Reylo Fics that Deserve All the Love

Near Kinsman by englishable

Englishable is just one of the best writers I’ve encountered in fandom. This historical western mail order bride AU is top notch quality.

The Masochism of Self-Defence by greyorchids

The Reylo dynamic in this Boston PD AU is steamy, but also heartfelt. 

So Much Thin Glass by walkingsaladshooter

Never knew I loved modern day Gothic AUs until I ran across this one.

Heaven Forbid by DarkKnightDarkSide

I was stunned by the author’s creativity in this Priestlo fic. So smutty. So... inventive 😉🔥

Sonder by deathbyhumidity

Two strangers passing each other by on the train. Soft, dreamlike, somber, poignant. Modern AU.

And Still I Would Remember by Inmyownidiom

A Victorian era AU of two souls that parted and come crashing back together.

So, You've Decided to Glamour a Human Girl. by selunchen

Faeries AU! Ben, a fae, and Rey, a human. Shenanigans ensue.

Live Long, and Prosper by SaintHeretical

For the Reylo Trekkies. Hell, even if you don't do Star Trek, read this. PHENOMENAL.

Mr. Solo & Miss Wellfound by LinearA

“Regency/Victorian AU, Ben sees Rey's stockinged ankle by accident.”

Diyari by Nervoustouch

Modern archeologists AU. Snarky banter with dashes of Indiana Jones, The Mummy, and Sahara vibes.

Drawn to the light of your burning sorrows by Kyriadamorte

The Mothlo AU you didn’t know you needed. Both gritty and soft.

Crown Glass by RebelRebel

Fantasy AU, with lots of beautiful imagery and engaging character dynamics.

Kohelet 3:16 (Call Me A Cab) by LinearA

NYC Jewish Leia and Ben. Skillfully layered plot, nuanced characterization. Smut is HOT.

By the Shores of Varykino Lake by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

Unhealthy dynamics, definitely read the tags. “There’s a lot of fucked-up-ness”, in the author’s own words. But it’s good writing. Fair warning.

Let Me Put My Darkness In You by ArdeaJestin

Canonverse. Hux is an insufferable, pompous ass and Kylo Ren writes terrible, melodramatic poetry.

Wintertide by Zabeta

Whimsical and primitive in turn, this lives up to the style of a true fairytale AU.

The Forty Thieves by PoetHrotsvitha

Peaky Blinders/Gangsters AU. Rey starts as Ben’s bartender and ends up as so much more.

I Said to My Soul, Be Still by LinearA

Dark!Rey takes her man. 🥵🔥💕

Hux's Rousing Pep Talks by Riels_shorts

This fic is hysterical. It’s not Reylo, and I don’t care. My list, my rules.

It's All I Can Do To Leave You Alone by TazWren

Office AU. Silly, spunky, with a bashful Ben. 

Sip the Honey Sweet by dietplainlite

Anne of Green Gables-esque/Edwardian era AU, the title really says it all.

The Pull to the Light by HarpiaHarpyja

Entrancingly macabre. This modern/fantasy/monsters AU catches your attention from the get-go, and never lets you off the hook.

lay then the axe to the root by sciosophia

All the Bronte goodness, plus smut.

The Golden Age by TourmalineGreen

Golden Age of Hollywood AU in which Ben is a jaded actor in serious need of an image fix, in the form of fresh-faced actress Rey.

Never Be Your Curse by Kate_Reid 

Kylo Ren is a go-go dancer in this AU. That was enough to get my attention 😘

Gallows God by Killtheselights

Bursting with deliciously grim imagery, an intelligent take on Norse mythology.

Thunderstorms, Clouds, Snow, and a Slight Drizzle by aNerdObsessed

Who doesn’t love an ugly sweater Christmas party? Ben Solo, that’s who. All the nostalgic wintertime feels in this modern AU.

Though My Soul Has Set in Darkness by englishable

It’s not long, but it’s good. A lyrical dive into the mindspace of child Ben Solo. A true gem. Also not technically Reylo. Still don’t care.

I Dare You by tinylittlebrain

Daredevil Kylo has pissed off ER doc Rey Kenobi for the last time. Spicy!

stuck in colder weather by redbelles

Professor Ren stops grad student Rey from biking home in a snow storm. And takes her to his home. You can guess where this goes 😉

Between Sky and Sea by nessalk

Serious Indiana Jones vibes with a Caribbean flair. Painstakingly researched, and moments of true beauty and joy.

But Before Tomorrow by Kate_Reid

Such good writing. Canonverse.

The Sword of Prince Hector by englishable

Exploration of what redemption might feel like for Ben, canonverse. 

if compassion be the breath of life, breathe on me by Victoryindeath2

All the angst and unknowns that we were left with in the wake of TLJ are soothed in this canonverse piece.

build a ladder to the stars by redbelles

An exploration of events post-Crait. Fantastic, beautifully written.

nor are we forgiven (which brings us back) by TolkienGirl

Both Kylo and Rey get to see what life would have been like if they both got exactly what they thought they wanted after TLJ. Fascinating read. 

Forsworn by Erulisse17

This Mando/ST crossover has everything you could want--action, witty banter, space romance! So much fun!

Reylo Favorites & Classics

One Shots

59 Minutes by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

For Science by KyloTrashForever, ohwise1ne

He Made It Through the Wilderness (somehow he made it through) by LovesBitca8

light carries on endlessly by lachesisgrimm (olga_theodora)

Grey by ocjones

The Idiot's Guide to Flirting by Violetwilson

High School/College AU

I Caught Fire by KyloTrashForever

Mountain Springs High School by animal

Epithumia by pontmercy44

Soul Searching by OptimisticBeth

Office/Workplace AU

Sensual Storytime by andabatae

The Food of Love by LovesBitca8

Historical/Dystopia AU

Hiraeth by Ferasha

a manner of virtue by neonheartbeat

The lamb's thirst by animal

Wanted by Inmyownidiom

She Who Would be Queen by sasstasticmad

go i know not whither and fetch i know not what by voicedimplosives

ABO

Knot My First Time by KyloTrashForever

Canonverse/Canon-divergent

variations on a theme of you by diasterisms (Reydar)

i will be the wolf by diasterisms

Sky Marked Souls by AnonymousMink

The Death of Kylo Ren by nymja

World In My Eyes by sasstasticmad

i'm always in this twilight (in the shadow of your heart) by diasterisms

Catch Me I’m Falling by violethoure666

Sword of the Jedi by diasterisms

You'll Be the One to Turn by postedbygaslight

Dark Crown by Violetwilson

Harry Potter AU

Nocturnal Studies And Other Peculiar Magic by WaterlilyRose

Otherwise Modern AU

Pretense by Celia_and

Insta-heart by slipgoingunder

Serotonin and Dopamine by pontmercy44

The Elusive Mating Dance of the Porgus Adorabilis by andabatae

Hanging by a Moment by crossingwinter

WAR DOGS by fulcrumstardust

miles from where you are by Mooncactus

Charcoal by luvkurai

Stay by jeeno2

coarse and rough and irritating by frak-all (or_ryn)

Blades Crossed by the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Embers by sciosophia

Mitan, Midi by animal

Janus by englishable

Say My Name by Graendoll

Thank You for The Music by hipgrab (merrymegtargaryen)

darling, so it goes by akosmia

This is the Sign You've Been Looking For by RebelRebel

Broken Things by midnightbluefox

One-Night Stand by delia-pavorum (literaryminded)

The Rebel Side of Heaven by jeeno2

On The Bumpy Road (To Love) by violethoure666

we could plant a house, we could build a tree by Like_A_Dove

I’d Like My Obituary to Hint at a Sequel by Violetwilson

Only If You Want To by Violetwilson

Not Reylo, Still Awesome

Gingerflower/Gingerrose, Armitage Hux/Rose Tico 

Between Sand and Sea by Brit Hux-Tico (birchwoods01)

If Ever I Would Leave You by Weddersins

Her Yellow Rainboots by Weddersins

Merrical, Cal Kestis/Merrin (Jedi: Fallen Order)

The Stars Alight by FlyingMachine

Heavy Ice by FlyingMachine

Caltrilla, Cal Kestis/Trilla Suduri (Jedi: Fallen Order)

No One Else by xanderwilde

call it what you want by xanderwilde

tear you to pieces by xanderwilde

Dramione, Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter Universe)

Now Is A Gift by SenLinYu

Sex and Occlumency by Graendoll

Zutara, Katara/Zuko (Avatar: the Last Airbender)

oracle bones by an orphaned account

Fics by Me

Virtue Ethics

Reylo College AU (completed)

Dr. Ben Solo, adjunct philosophy professor and part-time martial arts instructor, discovers a young woman in his Intro to Philosophy course whom he thinks may not actually be enrolled at the University.

Chiasmus

Reylo Role-reversal canonverse AU (WIP)

Scourge of the galaxy, Kira Ren, is tasked by the First Order to eliminate the last of the Jedi. When she captures hotshot podracer Ben Solo to extract Luke Skywalker’s location from him, things do not go according to plan. 

This Dance of Light, This Sacred Blessing

Snapshots of a modern Reylo AU. Smutty, prosey one-shot.

Listen Up, Kid

Canonverse Reylo Post TLJ one-shot

The ghosts of Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's past are back to haunt him with a vengeance. A well-meaning, familial kind of vengeance. Or, A Star Wars Carol.

Ben’s Body

Reylo Modern AU (completed)

Rey is an up and coming sculptor specialising in human shape and form. Her new next door neighbour has a body to die for and she's determined to preserve it in marble forever. Now she just has to convince dashing and reclusive Ben to model for her. Preferably naked.

Growin’ Up

Reylo High School AU (completed)

Ben Solo was supposed to only be ruining his own life with his bad decisions. Rey Niima was just trying to pay attention in class. Both get stuck in detention.

Seven Texts, 2 AM

Reylo Modern AU, smutty one-shot

Ben has good reasons not to have sex with his neighbor, Rey. She has other ideas.

Song of the Forest

Reylo Fantasy/BatB/Fairytale AU (completed)

Once upon a time, a girl with an unknown past appeared on the doorsteps of a lord’s manor, and now the forest at the edge of the lord’s property is calling to her.

A Season of Frost & Warmth

Modern Reylo P&P AU (completed)

When Ben shows up to a Halloween party with no costume, it only confirms Rey’s certainty that he is the world’s biggest jerk. Until it comes to light that maybe... he isn’t. 

Follow Me Home

Modern Werewolf Reylo AU (completed)

Rey gets stone drunk and brings home a big cute husky she found in an alley. The next morning, she finds a naked man built like a fridge sleeping on her living room floor, and no dog in sight.

The Gentleness That Comes

Reylo Modern AU one-shot

Underground boxer!Ben is resigned to his life of violence, until he meets a pretty new bartender one night.

Unlikely, Unbidden, Unbound

Gingerflower canonverse AU (WIP)

General Hux is imprisoned by the Resistance when the First Order falls. He had known his death was coming, it was simply a matter of course. He’s disappointed to learn the Resistance has other plans, and an unwavering policy of giving people second chances.

@thereylowritingden @reylofic @nancylovesreylo @grlie-girl @lilia-ula @greyforceuser @tazwren @mhcalamas

[kiarcheo]

Six Stars Quarantine - Ch. 5 - Breaking News

Can read on Ao3 too if you prefer

                                  —————————————

Before the movie dropped, everyone assumes that the six of them, like many others, are staying with family … and they are, but the public has no idea who is part of the family and doesn’t expect them to start talking about them now after years of silence. It leads to a lot of questions about how they shot the movie. Did they break the rules to film it? Are they in a place where rules are perhaps different? Where even are they? Are they in the US? In the UK? Elsewhere? In different places and it was all somehow edited in post-production?

A disclaimer at the end of the movie is added that no rules were broken during the making of the film on their managers’ insistence (a similar one claiming that health and safety regulations had been followed is scrapped once it is pointed out that Cathy rigging household appliances to explode was quite surely not compliant), but nothing else is done or said to address the matter.

The answer to the question comes from an interview that had been booked ages in advance, when Jane was supposed to be in the US for a tour. Most engagements have understandingly been cancelled, but not that one, much to everyone’s luck since it is scheduled shortly after the release of the film.

It is a live interview, just online.

‘We can’t really escape the question so…how is lockdown treating you?’

‘I have to be honest...can’t complain. Others said that already. I'm used to touring and then having periods of staying at home writing. Of course I’m missing singing live, the audience, but I’m so lucky that I can mostly keep doing my job at home. And it gave me time to...recharge. Learn. Spend quality time together with my loved ones like it hadn’t happened in years. Try new things.’

‘Talking about new things...I have to ask you about it. Because you surprised everyone with your acting debut. How was it?’

‘You tell me,’ Jane laughs, covering her face with her hands. Not embarrassed but a bit shy, conscious it is not her thing. ‘But first experience, directed by Catalina Aragon and acting alongside Anne Boleyn...can it get any better?’

‘How was sharing the screen with her?’

‘Anne is unbelievably talented. Seeing the magic happening in person is so different than watching it on screen. She is still pretty annoying tho-’

‘Hey!’

‘What? I also said you’re talented!’ Jane replies to the off-screen voice.

‘Still.’

‘Is she,’ the host hesitates, aware of the risk of looking monumentally stupid, ‘there?’

‘Anne, say hi?’ Jane calls.

‘Hi!’ she yells back.

Jane sighs. ‘I mean, say something.’

‘Something.’

‘Come here, for God’s sake!’ Jane finally bursts out. ‘See what I mean when I say annoying,’ she tells the interviewer.

‘We agreed to stay out of the way,’ Anne says as she walks into the frame.

Jane gives her a level look. Who is the one who couldn’t keep her mouth shut?

‘I was minding my business when I couldn’t help hearing you badmouthing me.’

‘Is it badmouthing when it’s the truth?’

‘That I’m insanely talented?’

‘That you’re insanely annoying.’

‘Slander!’

A doorbell interrupts the bickering. They look at each other.

‘Can someone go? Jane is busy!’

Jane pinches the bridge of her nose.

‘Going!’

‘We really need to fix the other room,’ Anne comments as a second, out-of-frame, bellow resounds.

‘I apologise. Usually we have interviews in another room that is more...secluded. Quiet.’ The second best for light and background is right by the entrance, unfortunately.

‘Lina, it’s for you!’

‘Anna!’

She steps in, cringing when she realises why Jane scolded her. ‘Sorry.’

‘Just got a text, did you-’

‘Just for her.’ Anna hands a package to Catalina, who arrived with Kat.

‘I’ll check by the gate then.’ Kat jogs out.

‘Is- are-’ the host isn’t sure what’s going on.

‘Ladies, if you could,’ Jane calls them, before addressing the unvoiced question. ‘Yes, they are.’

She waves them in, seeing their hesitation.

‘I’m really sorry. Didn’t mean to crash in.’  

Jane waives off Catalina’s apology. ‘She had already done it anyway.’

‘You called me!’ Anne protests.

‘Have you been staying together since filming?’

The four women exchange a look.

‘Let's just get everyone.’

.

‘Help!’

Jane leaps to her feet, going over to Kat to assist her with the pile of parcels in her arms.

‘Why didn’t you ask for help?’ Catalina sighs good-naturedly.

‘I just did!’

‘I mean to bring them in.’

‘This is Kat.’ Jane leads her in once they have deposited the parcels on the floor.

She stares at her cousin confused, before the lightbulb goes off in her head. ‘You’re still live on the interview?’

‘You’re too, now!’ Anne informs her.

Kat looks at her panicked, then at herself.

‘Nobody is dressed for it except Jane,’ Catalina reassures her. They are all in loungewear, clearly dressed for comfort rather than ready for public appearances. They range from shorts and tank tops to sweats and hoodies as if they are not staying in the same place with supposedly the same temperature.

‘Can you call Cathy?’

‘Why?’

‘Just...do it?’

Kat takes a deep breath, closing her eyes.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Remembering Jane’s lessons about voice projection,’ Kat says before letting out a resounding ‘Cathy!’

‘I think the lessons paid off,’ Anna mutters, reeling a bit.

‘Hey.’

‘Unbelievable,’ Anne scoffs, rolling her eyes, as Cathy enters the room soon after.

‘Really?’ Catalina raises her eyebrow.

‘Yeah, no, I don’t know why I said that,’ Anne agrees, ‘it totally checks out.’

‘What?’ Cathy looks around, puzzled.

‘We all called for you,’ Anna explains to her, ‘and zero. Zilch. Nada. Nil. Null. But the second Kat does....’

‘As much as I’m enjoying this insight into your life, I’m afraid we’re nearing to a close,’ the host informs them, quite regretfully.

‘I’m really sorry, we got derailed,’ Jane apologises. Getting everyone together had taken longer than expected, with Kat having left to check if the delivery had been left at the gates and Cathy being called in vain until Kat’s return.

‘The beauty of live tv, I guess,’ worse things happened on the show than a bit of chaos and disruption, ‘but I think we might have just enough time to answer the burning question...are you living together because of the film?’

‘No. I think the correct thing to say would be that the film happened because we were – and still are – living together.’

/

‘Thank you for joining me today.’

‘Thank you for inviting me. And having us all.’ Jane replies, everyone else smiling and nodding.

‘I have to say, I’m in awe. I feel like this is what it would feel like to meet the Avengers all together,’ the host gushes, ‘this is the first time you sit down all together...planned, at least, right?’

‘Correct.’ They have long made peace with the fact that normal is simply not their thing.

They go through introductions and pleasantries, before delving into the interview. It is mainly about the movie, how it came to be, their favourite parts, memories, and mishaps.

‘Please don’t take it wrong, but Anne, was it really you singing?’

Anne laughs. ‘Yes.’

‘The world is missing out, isn’t it?’

‘Aww!’ Anne reaches over to swat at Catalina’s leg.

‘Yes, I mean, how is it possible?’ the interviewer continues, ‘I’m not saying I don’t believe it, but–’

‘Want to show them?’ Jane’s voice can be heard off-screen.

Anne reaches out and her cousin hands her a guitar.

‘Did you just have a guitar lying around?’ the interviewer asks.

‘More like someone doesn’t put things back in their place.’ Cathy sends Anne a meaningful look.

‘I don’t know what you mean,’ Anne grins at her, clearly knowing it very well, before starting to play arpeggios on the guitar.

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can't tell where the journey will end But I know where to start

As Anne sings an acoustic version of Wake Me Up by Avicii, Anna can be seen nudging Kat and the younger girl replying with a questioning look. Anna takes her hand and leads her away, out of the frame.

They are soon back, Kat holding a violin. She quickly raises it, placing it beneath her chin. As the bow touches the strings, Anne looks up and beams at her. She does the same when, towards the end, Jane joins in with some backup vocals.

‘Holy–’ the interviewer breathes out as the impromptu performance comes to an end, ‘the world is definitely missing out.’

They discuss a bit more, Anne expanding on her musical training and if she has any plans to take her career in that direction. Which leads to everyone being asked about future plans and projects.

‘Cathy, I’m sure you are getting – or will get – this question a lot, but...I think that everyone who knows your series – so, like, millions of people – after learning the six of you are friends is wondering whether real life inspires your writing?’

‘It depends on what you mean. I think I’ve said it before, how it started as an assignment. The core idea, at least. Just a short story centred on three siblings and their dynamics.’ Cathy smiles towards Anne, Jane and Kat, then at the other two. ‘I don’t think I would have ever thought of writing a series about found family had I not found my own. So yes, there is a certain degree of inspiration that I took, and I take, from real life. Events, prompts, places...and yes, even traits and qualities of my characters. But they are...mixed and matched, you could say. First of all, because it was never my intention to write about my family. While I might take inspiration, and always ask permission if it’s something slightly personal, I would never want people to....think they know stuff, personal stuff, about them just because of a character they supposedly inspired.’

Another thing that she took from real life, and that is often praised, is that in the books there are no clichéd, stock characters: there is no motherly one, no prankster, no young, innocent and naïve, no loner, no angry at the world, no bookish nerd. Her characters are complex and multifaceted…Just like real people. For example, Cathy knows that if they asked, people would say that Jane or Catalina are probably the mom friends. And yes, if you need a cool head in an emergency, Catalina is the one to call, and Jane is the one you want to consult for anything financial or business related (she got a degree after all, thinking that she would either be able to make informed decision on her showbusiness career...or have a fallback one if singing did not work out). But Anna is the one driving everyone around, whether in her sport car or in the minivan, Kat is the one who loves cooking for everyone...and is the best at it, and if you don’t feel well, Anne is the one you want around.

‘Second...I wanted to put a clear distance between real people and characters, not just for other people, but for myself too. So I could be...impartial? No matter what happens in the story. Sometimes stories do write themselves and I don’t know, and I don’t want to know, how well I’d cope with writing characters closely resembling my girls getting hurt or being ‘bad’, or...you know– sorry, this is a very long answer.’

‘You’re a novelist after all.’ Anne elbows her in jest.

‘So we should not try to guess who is who?’ the host surmises.

‘You can. But you’ll never get it right...because there is no right answer.’

‘We tried, and even we could not see that.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes. We did dress up like the books’ characters once.’

‘But it was more about which one we identified with or liked more than others, rather than looking at one and saying “oh, that’s clearly Jane.”’

A shrill sound fills the air.

‘Shoot! The oven!’ Kat runs off, Cathy on her heels.

‘And off they go,’ Catalina chuckles.

‘Now that Cathy is not here,’ the host leans forward conspiratorially even if he is on the other side of a screen rather than in the room with them, ‘I know she said more than once that no movie will be happening until the series is done, but...can we expect you to be involved?’

‘We have been putting money aside for that since we first read the first completed draft,’ Anne informs him. At the time neither her nor Catalina had been famous and even less rich, but they had known they wanted the rights.

‘And had plenty of discussions on what it could look like,’ Catalina adds.

‘And what’s good in being friends with her if we don’t get preferential treatment?’ Anne jokes.

‘What are we talking about?’ Kat asks, re-entering the room with a plate piled with freshly baked biscuits.

‘Making movies based on Cathy’s books,’ Anna answers.

‘Not again,’ Cathy groans, good-naturedly, putting down on the coffee table a tray with a teapot and cups.

She is genuinely flattered. And she won’t tell them any time soon, but she has every intention to give them dibs when it will come to make movies out of her books. Because she knows they will do them justice. Or she will make them, because she will have a say in the project. But those things aside…they never waste a chance to bring it up and it has been more than a decade…it can get annoying.

‘I’m sorry, but can I say that this looks like the epitome of Britishness?’ the host interrupts. ‘Anyway, moving on from movies that are not yet happening...do you at least get previews? Sneak peeks? Of the books, I mean.’

‘There is only one person who does.’

Everyone turns to look towards Kat who is pouring the tea while Cathy is breaking a biscuit in half and holding out one piece to her.

‘What?’

‘Who is your favourite, Cathy?’ Anne asks. ‘Among us,’ she specifies.

‘I love you all.’

‘It’s Kat, isn’t it?’

‘Why even ask if you know the answer already?’ Cathy deadpans. ‘Besides we all agree she is everyone’s favourite.’

‘Stop it!’ Kat swats at her arm, bashfully.

‘That’s true,’ Anna confirms, everyone else nodding.

‘It’s because she is the baby of the house. Well, she was when we first met,’ Catalina explains to the curious host, ‘and yes, she is now a wonderful, amazing, woman, but just because your little sister grows up it doesn’t make her any less your little sister.’

In the blink of an eye Kat had set down the teapot and she is at Catalina’s side, leaning over and hugging her. After some moments they still show no intention of breaking the hug, probably forgetting they are being filmed, judging by the way Catalina tightens her hold in response to whatever Kat is whispering to her. Knowing that neither of them would be comfortable broadcasting the ‘private’ moment to the world...’Group hug!’ Anne proclaims, launching herself onto them, the others quick to understand and join.

‘Enough. Enough!’ Catalina, buried under the five other women, yells. ‘Everyone off. Except Kat. Kat can stay.’

They do leave the pile, Kat staying, her legs in Catalina’s lap, but instead of going back to their previous seats, they remain on the sofa, all squished together.

‘Is it always like this?’ the host asks, not bothering to try to hide his amusement.

‘Yes and not.’

‘We’re not teenagers anymore so it’s less chaotic...in a way,’ Jane expands on Anna’s answer, ‘but we also see each other less and miss each other more, so when we do get together everything is more...intense.’

‘I’m sorry. I’m trying to come to terms with...you have all known each other since...teenagers?’ the host repeats, almost incredulous, looking for confirmation. Them being friends is one thing, but– ‘How come nobody know about it?’

‘I wouldn’t say nobody.’

‘Then let’s say it was not public knowledge...until now?’ They all nod to that. ‘We scoured your social media, and I have no doubts fans did the same as soon as the movie came out, but we could not find a single entry on any of your accounts. Not an appearance, not even a mention.’

They looks at each other genuinely surprised.

‘I think I can talk for the others too,’ Catalina starts, ‘it was not on...purpose? We never went out of our way to keep it hidden. Or to avoid posting content about each other.’

‘I don’t really post about...private life?’ Kat interjects. ‘I always thought people would not find it interesting. Me being silly with my family.’

‘Oh, trust me, people would.’

[wellamarke]

Alright. This is going to be shorter than I planned because I keep tying myself in knots over the very first shot, but I'm going to skip straight to my main point about the Dashing White Sergeant, which is this:

Nobody gets to dance with the person opposite them in the circle.

That is not how the dance works. In DWS, you dance with two people: the ones either side of you, in your row of 3. Yes, to be fair, you join hands and walk back and forth to meet your opposite person, but that person never gets your hand. So, how, pray, do we get this:

AND this:

Well, it's because, in what is arguably his boldest move since 'carrots', Gilbert breaks the set and spins Anne over to his side:

When what they're supposed to have done is this:

ie. Diana, Gilbert and Jane should have performed a straight swap with Caleb, Anne and Charlie. That twirl? Does not exist in the Dashing White Sergeant.

This absolute... opportunist, sees his moment and risks throwing the whole dance just to get to hold Anne's hand. I'm so proud.

The first time they come into the centre he's all smirky, because yes, being face-to-face is fun and an excellent twist on their usual head-to-head. But that's not enough, he wants to dance with her. He's going to get his hand-hold after 3 years of waiting for it, damn it all.

(I know, I know, I'm coming late even to the Netflix release and I've missed the intense week-long dissection of the scene by literal months, so obviously all this has been said. But it's NEW TO ME and I haven't seen the text posts so I'm going to still talk about it).

There is so much metaphorical resonance here.

The two positions (beside and opposite) are supposed to be irreconcilable in the dance. Anne and Gilbert are two people who so often oppose each other but, when it comes to things that really matter, they are on the same side. Likewise, the parts of the dance they spend opposite each other are fleeting, and for the main section, they are on the same side.

Both Anne and Gilbert are the center dancers of their row (the center is the only person who dances throughout - all 4 corner dancers wait out certain bars). This mirrors how both of them have their own storylines, concerns, goals etc in the show. But when Gilbert breaks the set, positioning Anne as to his choosing, he doesn't make her a corner dancer. Instead, she becomes the center dancer of his line. What an interesting fact about the axis on which Planet Gilbert spins.

Even when they're part of the same row, things aren't straightforward: there's a third person involved. In real life it's Winnie; in the dance it's Charlie. Gilbert watches Anne with Charlie and has to wait out the bar. Anne will have to do the same with Winnie.

At the end of the dance - literally in the last few bars - he returns Anne to her original position. In practical terms, this means Mrs Lynde doesn't have anything to complain about, as there's no evidence by the end that the set was ever broken. In sneaky terms, it means he gets to finish the dance face-to-face making eyes with Anne, and not Jane or Diana. In heartbreaking terms, it foreshadows how (at least for now) the discoveries made during the dance aren't going to change their relationship, as everything goes 'back to normal' on the outside. In romantic terms, it could be seen as Gilbert saying: "I want you by my side, but in the end, I'll put you before myself" (in the sense that 'before' can also mean 'in front of').

Breaking the set ought to have thrown everything off - if nobody else moves, Gilbert has put Anne next to Diana, so the boy-girl-boy-girl pattern is lost. The fact that the dance is able to continue means that others have moved to compensate. Crucially, one of them is Diana, who is best placed to perform damage control as it's her spot Anne's moved into -– foreshadowing her manoeuvring the situation on the train and saving the day! But it's not just Diana: everyone in the set will have noticed the shift – mirroring how the whole of Avonlea are basically aware of how these two feel about each other before they are.

Or, in more mathematical terms, the other 4 people in the set, shifting to make way for Shirbert, represent the 4 people with the most to say about Shirbert: Jane plays Winnie (telling Anne she isn't engaged to Gilbert; this parallel works weirdly well since Jane and Gilbert are seen dancing together, and Jane's traditional values mirror Winnie's 'expectations') Diana plays herself (being the person best placed to call Gilbert out the train journey, and being the person best placed to compensate in the dance itself, since Anne's in her spot. Damn, she even does the callout opposite him in a train carriage, a position usually held by Anne). Charlie plays Cole (telling Anne about Gilbert's crush; interesting, then, that Charlie's got a crush on Anne) and Caleb Lynde plays Bash (knowing about Shirbert before so much as meeting Anne; and would you LOOK at that, I was about to say I can't find a link between Caleb and Bash, but the link is MISS STACY!)

Most dancers look in the direction they are skipping in for the circle part of the dance: Gilbert and Anne look dead across at each other before the swap, and then after the swap:

...yeah, they're looking at each other the whole time, even for the direction change - which means that one of them is always skipping 'backwards' (sideways, but against the direction they're facing, led by the other). If that ain't a metaphor for trust, I don't know what is. Also, they will each be the backwards-facer for the same amount of steps, and if that ain't a metaphor for compromise... you get what I'm saying.

I will probably think of a few more resonances after posting this, and yes, I know that I'm reaching on some of it, but even without all that symbolism, you HAVE to hand it to Gilbert. As far as he knows this might be the only time he'll ever get to dance with Anne, so he's going to make the most of EVERY SECOND, and dance more with her in that one rehearsal than any other couple in the room have managed in two.

Something else I like, as well, is that he knows the format of the dance from watching the initial demonstration - so he COULD have tried the spin in the first run-through. But he doesn't do it until he gets the vibe from their first face-to-face that Anne, maybe... isn't opposed to dancing with him. (Also, he waits 'til he's invalided Moody out of the running, freeing his buddy up to give them some nice twinkly backing music... Gosh, Gilbert, how far back does your web of cunning go?!)

Just as a parting shot, I'll point out that Miss Stacy is the one who pushes Gilbert (nonsensically) to the other side of the room, where Anne ends up. I say nonsensically because at the beginning they're standing like this:

with Gilbert being the ONLY boy on the right hand side of the room, so no way should he be moving across. What actually needs to happen is that two boys from the left should go to join him. Gilbert should have stayed put. But no, Miss Stacy wants him over there:

She ships it, y'all.

Gilbert then stands for a bit in the middle of the room, foreshadowing his indecision/being torn between two options later on:

Look at him, stroking his chin, all confused! Thankfully, Mrs Lynde is there to park him firmly on the left side of the room, ensuring proximity to Anne. Thanks, Rachel. Thanks, Ms Stacy.

And most of all, thanks to whoever choreographed this scene! It took me so long to get a comprehensive look at Gilbert's actions because I kept getting distracted by everything else that's going on: Ruby, Tillie and Jane are all wonderful too, and let's not forget Moody and Charlie partnering each other just before Mrs Lynde yells 'stop'. Wonderful. Perfect scene is perfect.

[extremelyblackandwhite]

timeless - 01

PAIRING: medieval!james “bucky” barnes x reader

WARNINGS: sexual content (18+)

A/N: hello! today i’m on a roll, having so much fun writing. thank you so much for the support for the first prelude, hope you enjoy the first chapter xx

NEXT CHAPTER

The noble man is not shy about their situation and as he pulls her slip up to her  shoulders, draping it right under her chin as he slide his hands in the back of her thighs, pushing her knees to fold to her chest making her whimper and beg with breathless and quiet cries of pleasure. The Grand Duke had barely touched her and the touches he had given were much too soft for her to find herself  already hot with her wetness spreading throughout her lower body.

Opening her mouth to speak, she tried to say something, ask something even but before she could do as such he slowly caressed her bottom lip, making her gasp against it and at his cold touch. Her tongue wrapped around his thumb slowly and eagerly as he pushed it forward and into her mouth allowing her to suck on it.

She caught a glimpse of his sly grin as he lodged himself in between her spread out legs, her warm skin rubbing sinfully against his while his hands slide up and down her legs before closing them behind his back, locking them vigorously to which she responded with a slight yelp when his large cock snaps into her. As it stretched her walls, she felt her whole body shake and shiver almost as she’d been lacking this experience for years. With his hands on either side of her body, he started rocking at a steady pace with his arms tangled around her torso, pulling and pushing her in ways that made her think only animals could mate like this. His hips snapped back and forth, in and out of her, making her scream loudly in both pain and pleasure which engulfed her entire being.

She felt her back lift from the mattress as his cold lips slide along her neck and chest, nipping and nibbling at every bit of skin they encountered and sucking until they were his to claim from sight and sight alone. The red and purple tones looked so real - they felt so real too, everything felt so real.

And when he pulled at the back of her head, with an arm firmly pressed against her back and his naked hips flushed against hers, Y/N knew, she knew fully well, that it was far beyond any dream she had.

She woke up with the sun shining in the direction of her eyes, however the sun was still rather low on the horizon. She groggily moved er legs to the side, noticing how her slip was still on. Her hand brushed the side of her neck, somewhat still feeling the ghost of the dream Grand Duke’s lips there. Curiously, she grabbed a mirror from her night stand, holding it up to her face but there were no marks, her neck was untouched. What a vivid dream. 

A sudden knock on the door wakes her from her transe and she found that she’s still sweaty and, now, even warmer and wetter in between her smooth legs. She shout out she was improper at the moment, that she could not receive or see any visitors right away and that whoever who was at the door should wait until she was proper, and the knocks on the door stop. She grabbed her used dress from the ground, throwing it on before rushing over to the door, one hand on he handle and another one against the wood of the door, opening it ever so slightly.

     - Oh, Eliza, are you alright? - she asked, adjusting her hat.

     - The princess and the prince went out for a town visit and me and the girls were wondering if you’d like to join us for a walk in the gardens? It’s a lovely day out. 

     - I would love to.

     - Great, we’ll wait for you outside the door then. - Y/N nodded before closing the door and walking to the still packed trunk to grab something proper for a garden walk. She settled with a lace ivory dress and a parasol, meeting up with the other ladies once she was ready to go.

From what she had gathered, they were mostly ladies of Genoa’s other noble families who had been personally summoned by the Queen to be part of court. Although all of them were nice and polished ladies, Y/N preferred Eliza’s company over the other women as she seemed to share a rather cut throat view of her situation and economic position much different from everyone else. She was also rather a fan of gossip which Y/N had to admit was entertaining. 

As the women walked down the foot paths, Y/N couldn’t help but be enchanted by the beauty of the flora and fauna present in the royal gardens. The palace might’ve looked old and scary but the gardens seemed to hold a child like spirit blooming in several types of flowers, mostly lilies and daffodils with the most wondrous scent. Her eyes lingered on the flowers as their dainty heels hit the little pebbles of the pathway, stopping to smell the yellow daffodils illuminated by the cloudy skies. She closed her eyes to feel the scent hit all her senses until a different scent made her open her eyes once again. Roses. She could almost see them just from the scent alone, white roses with perfectly shaped drops of dew in a long garden. However, there were no roses in the garden, no sight of roses anywhere. As she looked up, she noticed that not a bit further was the same man who had visited her dreams just a few hours ago. It was now her turn to stare at him, watching eagerly as he stood next to the King dressed in lighter clothing, hair loose yet still using the dark leathered gloves.

The Grand Duke seemed to notice he was being watched as he turned his attention towards the lady in waiting which led her to place her parasol in front of her face, turning his back to him.

    - I know. - Eliza gave her an understanding look. - He’s like the sun. You know he’ll burn you but you can’t help but look when it shines.

    - What is he doing at court? - she questioned. Grand Duke was quite a high up status considering Addia had never had a King or Queen meaning the noble family ruled. 

    - Genoa and Addia have the oldest alliance in the world. The King brings him in whenever any of his children are engaged to foreign nobility. He seems to have a keen eye for people born for power, he knows a gold digger from an economic proposition. 

    - Do you really think he killed his wife? - she hid her face from his with her parasol. 

    - A couple screaming during a fire and only one comes out? The answer is right there. 

    - Why would he do that?

    - Who knows. - she shrugged. - He’s not one to dally around with other women. Some people think he did it to escape a forced marriage but I personally believe he’s a sadist. If you go by his bedroom at night you can always hear screaming.

    - Shame, I would personally warm his bed if he allowed me. - one of the ladies smirked, waving coquettishly at him. 

   - Let me know when to attend your funeral, Anne. - Eliza rolled her eyes, pulling the two girls away from the area. - I’m sure you’ll look lovely with death gracing your features.

   - Don’t be worried, Eliza, he seems to be rather ... busy. - Anne opened her fan, fanning it ever so flirtingly, eyes quickly moving over to Grand Duke Barnes who was speaking with the King but at the same time keeping an eye on the lady in waiting’s back, almost unaware that everyone who passed by could see it. - Why don’t we go for tea?

   - I really should wait for my princess. 

   - She’ll be fine, Y/N. - Eliza wrapped her arm around hers, guiding her towards one of their bedrooms where they would have tea. While most ladies decided to change into a different set of clothing, Y/N decided to go set down her umbrella instead of changing her clothings.

As she climbed down the stairs she found herself somewhere unknown. The portraits on the walls were different from the ones from last night and as she delved into the dark walls barely lit due to the harsh black out burgundy curtains covering each window, she realised she was much further away from where she wanted to be. Nevertheless she continued to walk down the halls, expecting that at some point she would reach her bedroom, exit or at least a wall. However, before she could continue with her walk into the palace upstairs, she noticed a slightly open door with dim lights coming from it. Her curiosity got the best of her and, after looking around to see if someone was near, she carefully padded towards the door. 

She walked into the room, noticing the lack of decoration except for a few shelves with old dusty books. Y/N’s fingers danced on the top of the books, most being classical pieces any noble man of high education would have read, however as she kept looking, behind some books she found a few loose papers which caught her attention. She pulled them out noticing the titles “Critique of Pure Reason” and “Discourse on Inequality”.

     - Do you read, milady? - she gasped out of surprise, dropping the papers on the floor as the man they had just been discussing stood a few feet away from her. - I didn’t intend to frighten you, my deepest apologies.

     - These texts are banned in Genoa. - was the only thing she could manage to say before dropping to the floor to collect the papers, extending them towards him with shaky arms and hands. 

     - Genoa has always been very behind in scholarly matters. - he took the papers back, placing them back in its original spot, slowly passing by her side causing a waft of the same rose scent to pass by. Maybe it was just his cologne, she reasoned. - They belong to my wife, she was always one to be interested in new philosophies.

    - Do you mind if I borrow them? There’s not a lot of enlightenment texts in Arendelle and my mother thinks it’s a dangerous philosophy. - she wondered if she should be asking someone believed to have ended his partner’s life for his partner’s texts but her curiosity took the best over her judgement.

    - You can borrow whatever you’d like, milady. - she was about to thank him before the door hit the wall, calling for her and his attention. 

    - Y/N! - her mother burst through the room as if she was a child misbehaving and maybe she was as she was fraternising with someone all the people she met believed was nothing but good news. - Y/N, my darling, you were supposed to come and see your poor mother today. 

    - I got distracted. - she observed her shoes for a while before her eyes quickly gazed onto the Duke who had his lips tightly pressed. - Mother, this is Grand Duke James Barnes. Grand Duke, this is my mother Lady Catherine Bouvaire. 

   - Pleasure. - he remained stiff like a statue, hands behind his back. - I must return. Take whatever you’d like, milady. Good day. 

The man left in a hurry, closing the door behind him rather harshly which made Y/N jump quite a bit before her mother placed herself in front of her sight, hands on her waist. 

   - You were supposed to have come visit me yesterday, Y/N. Have you already forgotten about your mother?

   - No, mother. I am so sorry, I just ... I really have no excuse. - Y/N scratched the side of her wrist. - I returned to my chambers rather late.

   - I hope Duke Barnes wasn’t the reason you were late. I don’t want you speaking with that man, he’s dangerous. 

   - Don’t you think it’s all gossip? There surely should be circumstances if he ... terminated someone’s life.

   - Aw, darling ... - she pulled a fly away of hair behind her ear, hand caressing her skin from ear to chin. - You know why I worry, you’re too good but he’s a bad man, Y/N. Seeing you standing next to men like him always worries me they could hurt you. 

    - I’m sorry, mother.

   - Why don’t you let me brush your hair, it always calms me down. 

   - Yes, mother. 

tag list: @lookiamtrying​ @kmuir1​ @anxiousdreamersworld​ @tinymalscoffee​@navegandoaciegas​

[atlafan]

Take it Slow - Part Seventy-Eight

a/n: okay this is my first shot at a harry:y/n fic, and it will be multiple parts. y/n had a bad experience with an ex over a year ago, and finally accepts her coworker and good friend Niall’s invitation to go on a blind date with his friend Harry.

Warnings: Fluff and smut.

Masterpost (all previous parts can be found in the masterpost)

“I don’t care what time it is when you land, call me and let know when you get to your mum’s.”

“I will.”

“You’re sleepin’ there, and then you’re goin’ home tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. And then you’ll FaceTime me so I can see you and Buster?”

“Mhm.”

You were being short because you were trying not to cry. Harry’s eyes were already glossy. You had an amazing week in London with him. You got to spend some more time with Anne. You got to see Mitch and Sarah again. You did a few touristy things. He drove you out to the countryside and you made love in a field. It was all so wonderful. You really didn’t want to leave.

“I wish I could walk you all the way to the gate.”

“Me too.”

You hug for a long time and look up at him.

“I love you.” He says.

“I love you too. See you in a week.” You bite the inside of your cheek.

“Yeah, see you in a week.”

You kiss for a while until a police officer blows his whistle. You jump back and grab the handle of your luggage.

“Bye baby.” He says. You wave and try to smile.

Harry sighs and gets into the car. He bursts into years.

“Please, god, it was bad enough watching you two say goodbye, please don’t tell me you’re goin’ t’cry the entire ride back to your flat.”

“Shut up Gem!” He wipes his eyes.

“It’s a week, Harry! Calm down.”

“I can barely fuckin’ sleep without her, a week is a long time.”

“Do you know how co-dependent that sounds?”

“We’re not co-dependent.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m allowed to miss her. We had a really nice week.”

“Okay, okay, sorry.” She laughs. “Let’s go get that ring.”

Harry and Gemma pull up to the jewelry store where he had ordered your engagement ring…that you still knew nothing about. They go inside and speak to one of the salespeople. A man comes back with the ring a little blue velvet box.

“Blue’s her favorite color.” Harry says to Gemma and she nods.

“Open it up, I’m dyin’ over here.”

Harry slowly opens it and Gemma gasps. It was perfect, and he knew you were going to love it.

“Oh my god, Harry. It’s beautiful, well done.”

It was a thick, white-gold band with a decent size square diamond in the middle. There were two smaller diamonds on either side of the larger one. Harry picks it up to look at the engraving.

“What’s it say?”

“My everything.” He squints at, then smiles at his sister who has tears in her eyes.

“Mum is gonna flip when she sees this.”

“I’ve shown her a picture.”

“I know, but to see it in person…she’s gonna cry for sure.”

Harry puts the ring back in the box and sticks it in his pocket. The two go back to the car and drive to his flat.

“So, when are yeh askin’ her? That thing is gonna burn a whole in your pocket until you do.”

“I was thinkin’ end of September.”

“Harry.” She groans. “Why wait any longer. This whole waiting a year thing is stupid.”

“Our first date was at the beginning of September, so technically I’m not waitin’ til it’s been a year. I didn’t become her boyfriend until October.”

“What if she finds it? Where could hide it? She does all your laundry.”

“I’m gonna leave it locked in my desk at work.”

“Alright, I suppose that’s a good plan. What else do yeh have planned?”

“I’m not tellin’.”

“What? Why not? S’not like I’m gonna tell her.”

“People keep givin’ me suggestions, but I’ve finally figured it out. And I’d like to keep it to myself for as long as I can.”

“You won’t even give me a hint?”

“Nope.”

“You really suck.”

He stings his tongue out at her and she sticks out hers back at him.

“In all seriousness, I’m really happy for you. Mum and I love her, and you two are a great match. I’ve truly never seen yeh so happy, Harry.”

“I’ve never been this happy. I’m glad you and mum love her, it means a lot.” Harry tears up again.

“Oh, Jesus, what now?”

“I just thought of how she might look when she’s walkin’ down the aisle.” Harry sniffles and his voice cracks. “She’ll make a beautiful bride.”

//

“Buster!” You exclaim as you burst through your mom’s door. He comes running towards you and you practically sob. “Mumma missed you so much! Come on let’s call daddy.” You take him into the spare bedroom and get settled. “This’ll be a treat for you to sleep with me tonight, huh?”

You take your phone out and FaceTime Harry. You felt bad because it would be around 4AM there, but he told you to call, so here you were.

“Hello?” He groans. It was dark in his room.

“Turn your light on baby, so we can see you.” You hear him shift and turn the side table light on. “Look, Buster, it’s daddy!” He yips and it makes Harry laugh.

“Hey buddy! Daddy misses you. Daddy misses mummy too.” He winks.

“Ew…don’t do that.” You laugh.

“How was your flight, angel?”

“It was good, I slept for most of it, thank god. Happy to be here with out little boy now.”

“Yeah, I’m glad he’s with his mummy.” You look at each other for a moment.

“Well, you’re one sleep down.”

“Mhm, six more to go.”

“What do you have planned for the rest of the week?”

“More family stuff, hangin’ with friends. Gonna take some pictures for people.”

“You’re working?”

“Only a little, don’t worry.”

“I just want you to enjoy your time away.”

“I will, honey.”

“Okay.” You yawn. “Well, I’ll let you get back to sleep. I just wanted to call like you said.”

“Thank you.” He smiles. “I love you, sweet dreams.”

“Love you too.” You blow him a kiss and hang up. “Okay, Buster, time for bed.”

//

The next morning you have breakfast with your mom and tell her all about your trip. You get Buster in the car and head home. You missed your apartment. You go grocery shopping and meal prep what you’ll need for the rest of the week.

Just as you’re settling on the sofa with some pizza, your phone goes off.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N!”

“What’s up, Seth?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking of you and thought I’d call.”

“You were thinking of me?” Your heart drops into your stomach.

“Yeah…well…not to seem like a creep, but I saw you post your pictures from your trip on Facebook, and saw that you were home. Weather looked great!

“Yeah, it was an amazing trip. Um…why were you thinking of me?”

“You and I were friends once, really good friends. I feel bad that we lost touch after we graduated. I’ve loved seeing you and the girls this summer…it would be nice to hang out without a party and booze though, don’t you think?”

It was true, Seth was one of your best guy friends. You’d be lying if you hadn’t thought of him from time to time. But you’ve rarely thought of another man while being with Harry.

“I suppose that would be nice.”

“Do you think we could meet up for coffee or something sometime?”

“Coffee?”

“Yeah…just as friends, obviously. I’m not trying to cause any issues with your boyfriend.”

“Um…not that I need his permission, but I’d have to ask how he’d feel about that.”

“Really, why? He knows we’re friends.”

“But he also knows that we’ve been more than friends…”

“He does?!”

“Yeah, it sort of came up after your Memorial Day party…”

“He just seemed so chill on the fourth, I didn’t think he knew.”

“He was on his best behavior that day. I just don’t know if he’d appreciate it…but I’ll ask.”

“I really don’t wan to cause any problems.”

“That’s sweet of you to say. I think coffee would be fine, I just don’t want to say yes until I talk to him.”

“Okay, that’s fair. Just text me and let me know.”

“Sounds good…thanks for calling.”

“Sure.”

You hang up and take a deep breath.

//

“I’m way too tired and drunk to walk you across campus.” Seth says, turning the TV off. “Wanna just crash in my room?”

“Yeah, that could work.” You smile as he helps you up off the floor. You tried not to sound too eager.

You follow him upstairs to his room, a room you had been in many times before, but had never slept in it. He closes the door behind you. Seth had the best room in the house because it had a bathroom attached to it.

“Want something to change into?”

“Sure!”

“Here.”

He tosses you a clean pair of plaid boxers and a t-shirt. You go into his bathroom to change. When you come back out your eyes trail up and down his body. He turns around and smiles.

“You don’t mind if I don’t wear a shirt do you?”

“Nope, your room, your rules.” He laughs and gets on the bed. You join him, not feeling nervous at all. You and Seth had cuddled before, it wasn’t weird that you were with him on his bed. “I’ll turn the TV on for a bit.”

“Thanks”

He throws an arm around you as you settle in. Eventually you both fall asleep. He woke up in the middle of the night to the TV and turns it off. You were fast asleep. He smiles and wraps himself around you, holding you close. Seth adored you, not that he would ever say that out loud.

When the sunlight of the room hit your face, you woke up. You turned over and saw Seth on his side facing you, scrolling through his phone. He looks up at you and smiles.

“Hey.” He says.

“Hi.”

“Sleep alright?”

“Mhm. Comfy bed.”

He puts his phone on his night table and moves a little closer to you. He brushes some hair out of your face.

“You’re…really pretty.” Your cheeks flush. “Have I ever told you that?”

“Don’t think so, but thanks.” You smile. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“Always.”

“I stayed late here on purpose last night so you’d invite me upstairs.”

“Can I tell you secret?” You nod. “I know.”

“What?” You giggle. “How?”

“I’ve seen you do it before, very clever.”

“Seth, I have a huge crush on you, and I have for a while.”

“I have a crush on you too.” His hand moves to rub your arm. “But Sarah…”

“Is with Ben, and said it was okay.”

“Really, you’ve spoken with her?”

“We talk about everything.”

“So what you’re saying is if I kissed you right now it would be alright?”

“More than alright.” You lick your lips and move closer so your noses were touching.

He cups your cheek and leans in. Your lips brush and he kisses you. You both smile against each other giggle. You roll onto your back and he moves tot hover over you. He kisses you again, neither of you really caring about the morning breath, and his tongue swipes over your bottom lip. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer to you, his morning wood pressing into you. You moan against him.

“I want you.” You whisper.

You were insanely attracted to Seth. From his nail polish, to his tattoos, to his piercings.He had so many things that just turned you on. Not to mention that he was just straight up handsome and sweet.

“I want you, too.” He smiles. “So bad.”

He kisses down your neck and tugs at the hem of the shirt he let you borrow. He lifts it up over your head and grins when he sees your nipple piercings.

“I remember when you guys got these.” He tweaks them a little and you groan. “Nice of you to finally show me.”

Just as he wraps his lips around one of them his door flies open, and you cling to him to cover yourself.

“Max! Get the fuck out of here!”

“Sorry! I needed my…Y/N?!”

“Hey.” You say. “Could you, uh, leave?”

“Sorry!”

He leaves quickly and you both start laughing.

“That door lock?”

“Yeah.”

“Go lock it.”

He gets up and locks the door and practically jumps back on the bed.

“You sure this how you want it to go down?” He asks as he kisses down your chest, dipping his hand inside the boxers he let you borrow.

“Yes, want you so bad. Please, fuck me.”

Seth tugs down his own boxers and your eyes nearly pop out of your head.

“Holy shit.” You say under your breath, but he hears you and smirks.

He gets your boxers off and tosses them to the floor. You spread your legs apart for him and he bites his lip. You reach for him and line him up with your center.

“Please, we can do all the fun foreplay stuff another time. I want you, this, right now.”

“Okay, let me just, uh, grab a condom, yeah?”

“Mhm.”

He reaches into his bedside table and retrieves the foil packet.

“Can I put it on you?”

“Yeah.” He smiles and hands it to you. “Just when I didn’t think you could get any cooler.”

“Shut up.” You laugh and roll the condom on his long, thick length.

He presses his tip against you and slowly starts to push in. A tear rolls down your cheek as he stretches you out.

“Alright?”

“Yeah, just, you’re really big.” You both giggle. “I just need a second to adjust.”

He leans in to kiss you and nips at your jaw to your ear.

“Take your time.” He whispers. “I’ve got all day.”

//

“Shit.” You say to yourself. “Daddy’s not gonna be happy, Buster. But what can I do? Coffee can’t hurt right?” He yips at you. You call Harry and he answers on the second ring.

“Hey, lovie.” You giggle at the term.

“Hi dolly.”

“What’s up?” He was in such a good mood, you didn’t want to sour it.

“Um, well, I have a question.”

“Okay.”

“Seth called me today…”

“Go on.”

“He wants to get coffee with me sometime soon, but…I told him I had to ask you first before I said yes or no.”

“That makes me sound a little psycho, doesn’t it?”

“He even said he didn’t want to cause trouble, I just…I…didn’t want to say yes or no before I spoke with you.”

“Do you want to have coffee with him? I mean, what’s the point?”

“Well, we used to be really good friends, and you know how it is after you graduate, you can’t stay in touch with everyone. I’d like to catch up with him one on one, without any alcohol…”

“Can you go to a place that’s dog friendly?”

“Sure! Plenty of places have outdoor seating right now.”

“Will you call me right after?”

“I don’t even know if it’s happening this week, but if it does, then yes.”

“I’m fine with it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah…I really appreciate you calling and asking first. It means a lot to me.”

“I just didn’t want to keep something from you.”

“Thanks, babe.”

You and Harry talk more about how his day is going before you hang up to text Seth.

//

“You’re havin’ coffee after work with your ex, and Harry’s okay with it?” Niall asks you the next day at work.

“First of all, he’s not my ex, and second of all, yes, Harry’s fine with it.”

“He’s an ex lover, Y/N.”

“Don’t you have to be in love for someone to be your lover? I mean Harry’s my lover if anything. Seth…I was never in love with.”

“Well, I don’t like it.”

“Buster’s coming with me, so I’ll have a chaperone. I’m going to be in my work clothes, so it’s not like I look sexy.” Niall crosses his arms and looks at you. “How is this sexy?! My chest is covered and this comes to my knees.”

“You’re a cute girl wearin’ a tight dress. It’s sexy.” You swat an arm at him.

“It’s just coffee.”

“I think you’re playin’ with fire.”

“I haven’t thought about him like that in years. If I really wanted him I would’ve been his girlfriend.”

“But you’re both grown now. You could-“

“Niall, please. I called my boyfriend and essentially asked his permission to see an old friend. It’s no big deal. It’s just coffee. It’s not like we’re having dinner and drinks.”

“Will you please text me when you get home?”

“Sure.”

//

You laid there with a huge smile on your face after you were done. It was the best sex you ever had. You were cuddled up with him. He was smiling too.

“That was fun.” He says. “You’re fun.”

“I’ve always been fun.”

“But that was like extra fun.” He kisses the top of your head. “What happens next?”

“You become my number one booty call, and you drop everything for me every time I wanna hook up.”

“You know what? That seams really fair.” You both laugh.

“In all seriousness, what do you want to have happen next?”

“I don’t know, I know I definitely wanna fuck you again.”

“Mm, me too.”

“I also know I don’t really want a girlfriend right now…is that mean to say?”

“No, it’s not mean.” You sigh. “In all honesty I don’t want a boyfriend. I really like being friends with you, I’m just really attracted to you.”

“So what we’re talking about his friends with benefits.”

“I guess so. Are you good with that?”

“I’m very good with that.”

“Good.”

//

You meet Seth outside a local coffee shop with Buster at your side after work. You two hug lightly, and go inside to order your drinks. You decide to split a scone, and find a table outside to sit at.

“You look so…professional.” He laughs.

“So do you! A button up and a tie? I’m shocked.”

“Hey, tablets don’t sell themselves.”

“Let me ask you something. Do your clients get thrown off at all when they see the lip piercing?” You giggle.

“Actually, it works in my favor quite a bit. It really shows that I’m comfortable with myself. As do the knuckle tattoos. Turns out my parents were wrong.” He laughs. “It also helps that I’m incredibly charming.”

“And a little narcissistic.” You sip on your iced decaf and break off a piece of scone to pop into your mouth.

“So, how long have you been with Harry, spill all the tea.”

“I gave you plenty to sip on at Memorial Day.”

“You showed me a picture of him and that was about it. Then you bring him to the fourth, and just happens to share a shocking resemblance to me.” He smirks and your jaw drops as you scoff.

“He looks nothing like you! First of all, his skin is tan, his eyes are green not hazel, big fucking difference-“

“His nails are painted, he has a ton of tattoos-“

“His tongue’s not pierced.” You cross your arms and smirk. “He doesn’t need the extra help.”

“Really, we’re just diving right into that, huh? I’ll have you know I took that out years ago.” He sticks his tongue out at you. “And as I recall you didn’t have much to say about it back then. Well you did, but they were mostly you moaning my name so…” He smiles at you and you shake your head.

“Is this why you wanted to get coffee with me? To go down memory lane?”

“No.” He scoffs. “I genuinely miss my friend.”

“And you just realized this because?”

“What do you mean?”

“Seth…”

“Okay, okay. You guys come to my parties every year, and I’ve either been dating someone or you have…”

“And I’m still dating someone.”

“That’s not what I meant. I think it’s stupid to not be friends with someone just because they have a significant other. I miss you, I’ve missed you for a long time.”

“Just me?”

“No, Rachel and Sarah too…but you and I were always closer and you know it.”

“That’s true.”

“Do you miss me?”

“In all honesty…I feel like I blocked you out of my mind. I’ve gone through a lot since graduation Seth.” He nods. “I know that sounds harsh.”

“It’s okay.” He takes a sip of his drink. “So, how did you and Harry meet?” He smiles.

“My friend Niall…Sarah’s now boyfriend, set us up.”

“Love at first sight?”

“Essentially…I mean we had one date one weekend and the next weekend we had like three more dates. He swept me off my feet.” Seth takes a bite of the scone. “He really loves me.”

“I could tell, just from the way he was looking at you. I’m really happy for you.”

“Thanks.” You smile. “No girls trying to scoop you up?”

“I’m in between girls at the moment…I, uh, sometimes date men.” He looks down and blushes. You grab his hand and squeeze it. He looks back up at you. “I’m bi.”

“Oh, Seth. Thank you for telling me. When did you realize?”

“After we graduated. I think I’ve always sort of known, but just never put two and two together. There was this guy I talked to at a bar one night, and one things led to another…”

“Wow.”

“Yeah. So I’ve dated some women, and some men. I can’t really figure out what I want.”

“Well, you’re only twenty-four…you have a lot of time. Do your parents know?”

“Yeah, my whole family does. There was a guy I dated for a while so I eventually brought him home to meet them. They were cool with it. My parents are from Vermont, they’re traditional but love the gays.” You burst out laughing and so does he. “I’m just sort fluid, you know? I like who I like, and I’ve just learned to go with the flow.”

“That’s really cool, Seth. I’m happy you’ve discovered these things about yourself. Not be pushy, but I do know a very nice young man that works for Harry who happens to be single and a confirmed gay.”

“Wouldn’t that be weird? You setting me up?”

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “It’s not like we have feelings for each other…right?”

“I mean to be honest if you were single I’d totally jump your bones, but I don’t think that feeling will ever go away.” He chuckles. “We had some pretty hot sex back in the day. But, no, there’s no feelings.”

“I forgot how blunt you can be, Jesus.” You take a sip of your drink. “Harry owns his own studio, you could come by some time and I can introduce you to Isaac.”

“Isaac, aw, that’s a cute name.”

“I have a picture from him, do you wanna see?”

“Sure, why not?”

You pull up a picture of Isaac on your phone from the studio opening and show Seth. His eyes grow wide.

“Oh wow…he’s adorable.”

“So adorable! And I know he thinks Harry’s cute, so he’d think you’re cute too.”

“Oh, so this is you admitting that we’re the same person?”

“You have very similar qualities, but you are not the same.”

“Relax, I’m just teasing. You know what? Fuck it. I trust you. Oh! Then we could go on double dates!”

“Oh my god, you read my mind!” You squeal. “I can’t wait to tell Harry.”

“I’m sure he’ll be relieved I’m not a threat.”

“You weren’t before.”

“Mhm, sure.” He sips his drink. “I’m really glad we did this.”

“Me too.”

Seth walks you to your car and hugs you goodbye. You text Niall when you get home and immediately call Harry.

“Hey! Weird question, but Isaac is confirmed single right?”

“Uh, yeah, why?”

“I wanna set him up with Seth.”

“I’m…gonna need a little bit of context here.”

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Thirteen

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

This can be very emotional and even triggering to some people however there is nothing bad that happens except a child having an emotional reaction to a shitty situation. 

Sunday morning Harry woke up early but had taken one look at Louis curled up against his chest and had promptly pushed any thoughts of leaving the bed out of his head. As if sensing Harry's change of plans Louis curled up closer to him in his sleep. Harry kept am arm around Louis' waist as he grabbed his phone and lowered the brightness down so it didn't wake Louis up. He had a message from Gem and when he opened it he saw screenshots of his and Louis' social media profiles and a message under them.

Now that we've met him and definitely approve I think it's time to make it official don't you little bro? Go on and slap it on social media, make sure to post pictures with his butt visible. 😉👌

Harry shook his head but knew his sister was right. It was time to make it social media official and so he headed to Facebook and updated his relationship status to engaged and sent a relationship request to Louis. He then went to Instagram and updated his bio so it said he was engaged to Louis. After that was done he locked his phone and grabbed the remote turn the TV on keeping it at a low volume as Louis slept.

"Well this is nice. You should definitely stay in bed more often." Louis said thirty minutes later as he looked at Harry.

"I'm thinking about it. Though I might need some persuasion." Louis leaned up and pressed a chaste kiss to Harry's lips before he laid back down and cuddling closer to him. Harry honestly just enjoyed the cuddling, it had been a long time since he has cuddled someone. He knew there was a good portion of people awake downstairs, could hear their voices, but he had no desire to get out of his warm bed.

"We should get down there. We're being bad hosts." Louis said

"I know." Harry groaned before he was trying to motivate himself out of bed. It didn't work right away but eventually he was rolling out of bed and getting himself ready for the day. Louis doing the same a few minutes later. Louis stole one of Harry's sweaters and Harry grinned as he watched the way the extra fabric moved around as he brushed his teeth while Harry waited for him to finish. He also not so subtly watched him bend over the sink to spit out the tooth paste. Once he was done they headed downstairs together to see everyone was awake.

"Good morning. Jay and I made breakfast for everyone. Should be still warm." Anne greeted them

"You didn't have to do that. I was awake you just had to come and get me." Harry said

"Yeah but Louis looked comfortable when I saw you two so I didn't want to wake him."

"Harry gets out of bed every morning without waking me. I'm sure he would have managed." Louis said sending a glare towards Harry as he headed into the kitchen.

"He doesn't like it when I leave the bed. Says I take all the heat with me and it forces him out of bed." Harry told them as he sat in the oversized chaise while Louis headed into the kitchen.

"So we never did get to talk about the wedding. Have you picked a location? The flowers? The time? The honeymoon? Y'know Brazil is beautiful I know you loved it last time we visited as a family. Remember you wanted to stay at the pink place."

"I'm pretty sure Harry wanted to live there when he was twenty." Gemma said

"Louis and I have decided to take the kids on a holiday with us, a family vacation. As soon as the judge approves it which my lawyers says there isn't any reason why he wouldn't, I'll get it ran by the school. I think we've decided on Orlando there's Disney, Universal, SeaWorld, and other big things to do with kids and such. Then during spring break or the summer holidays we'll take a week away together somewhere else."

"I haven't agreed to that yet." Louis said from the kitchen

"I'll hogtie you." Harry told him, "Don't worry I'll have him in a hut on a beach without kids eventually. Or in a hotel right beside the Iguazu Falls in Brazil or Argentina."

"Or a summer trip with the kids." Louis said

"Or a private trip with a promise of loud uninterrupted-"

"Harold." Louis warned making their families laugh when Harry put his hands up in surrender.

"I was going to say playtime."

"That's even worse."

"How about the hokey pokey in our birthday suit?" Louis laughed loudly

"If you have to pokey the hokey then you're clearly doing it wrong Harry." Anne said

"Maybe we like to pokey the hokey mother." Harry said throwing a balled up piece of paper at her as Louis walked into the room shaking his head. He sat across Harry's lap so his back was pressed against the arm of the chaise. His plate of food piled high sat on his lap and his mug of tea was set on the coffee table.

"For the record if you ever poke me we're getting a divorce." Louis told him

"You ruin all of my fun. You won't have sex with me with our mothers here and you won't let me play hokey pokey with you naked. Next you'll be telling me I can't wear a lace teddy around the house with the kids home."

"Absolutely not." Louis said shaking his head as he cut into the pancake, "at least not while the kids are home." Harry laughed

"You're restricting my teddy wearing time. Geesh. I think I purposed too soon." Louis stabbed a piece of pancake and offered it to Harry watching as he leaned forwards and ate the piece off the fork.

***

After breakfast Louis was in the kitchen with Anne and Jay as they cleaned up from yesterday and breakfast. A loud banging came from the door causing them to jump from the suddenness.

"Are you guys expecting company?" Anne asked

"Not that I know of." Louis said as he dried his hands and headed to the front door. Louis unlocked the bolt and pulled the door open. He pulled his eyebrows together confused when he saw a police officer, Hannah, and her boyfriend standing there.

"Are you Mr. Styles?"

"No, but I am his fiancé why?"

"Can we come in?" Louis hesitated looking back for Harry but he still wasn't inside so he nodded and allowed them into the entry way closing the door behind them, "Does your fiancé still have his daughter here?"

"Yes of course. He has her for the week per her mother's....request."

"That's a lie I told him he could have her for Halloween, but he had to bring her back home Halloween night. I gave him last night out of kindness, but now I still don't have my daughter and I'm starting to worry about her. I have texts between him and I saying he wouldn't give her back. It's why I called the police." Hannah said tearfully, Louis laughed unable to help himself.

"First off Harry has it on video of you telling him to keep her for the week or not at all. Secondly Harry hasn't had his phone on him all morning. I do because he asked me to go get for him from the bedroom but then he went outside with the kids so he never got it from me. Thirdly any text Harry has gotten I haven't responded to or looked at because it's none of my business. Fourth call the number you were texting because I guarantee it won't ring Harry's phone."

"Hey what's going on?" Harry asked jogging up to them, "I thought you were going to America this week?" He said looking at Hannah.

"Mr. Styles, Miss. Carpenter claims you were suppose to take your daughter back home last night and that you are threatening her through texts of keeping your daughter from her."

"I don't even have my phone on me and Hannah and I don't text. Everything is on the phone or in person. Our lawyers demanded it since anyone could be Hannah in my phone and anyone could be me in hers. Any communications we have is to be recorded and sent to our respective lawyers. This isn't the first time Hannah has tried to charge me with parental kidnapping."

"I'm going to have to make sure that's the truth. Hand over your phone."

"Wait you're not even going to call the number she was texting. Make sure it was his phone in the first place." Louis asked the officer paused and looked at Louis before he turned to Hannah who looked offended by just the idea of it.

"Excuse me. We are here for my daughter."

"I have to investigate both sides of the story. Find out who is lying. Give me your phone please."

"No we are here to get my daughter from Harry and take her home not for you to turn around and accuse me just because my ex boyfriend's fuck toy spoke. Besides he shouldn't even be involved in this conversation."

"Louis is my fiancé and has every right to be here. So unless Daniel is leaving, Louis stays. Look I can show you the video where Hannah told me I have her for the week." Harry said but the officer shook his head

"It won't matter. She has custody and you have no legal visitation or right to have her in your house if the mother doesn't want her here. Unfortunately that means she can press charges for parental kidnapping if you don't let her take her daughter." The officer said looking like he didn't want to be the one telling Harry those words, "I'm really sorry but I'm going to have to ask you to go get your daughter and let her mother take her home."

"Okay." Harry said softly

"Okay?" Louis said shocked

"Louis please. If I fight or argue it can look bad on me. The judge won't look at the body cam footage and see a father wanting to see his daughter for more than a day, he's going to see a big man yelling at, not only a woman, but the mother of his child. That is all he is going to see. That is all they ever see because she has sob stories prepared to make me look bad. I have lost a lot of cases because I fought too hard, because I raised my voice, because she cried in my presence. I can't do anything except comply I can't have a parental kidnapping charge while fighting for visitation." Harry said gently, "can you please just go get Maddie for me?" Louis wanted to argue, wanted to yell and curse at Hannah because how dare she stand there smirking while she took Harry's daughter away just because. How dare she call herself a mother. But Louis nodded pressing a quick kiss to Harry's cheek and headed to the glass sliding doors watching Maddie and Freddie running and laughing on the playset.

"Maddison can you come here for a minute?" Louis asked just loud enough to be heard over the laughter filling the backyard. Maddison and Freddie looked his way before they ran up to him with large smiles and red faces, "come on Maddison, Freddie stay out here with Zayn alright?" Louis said as he felt Zayn squeeze past him with a reassuring squeeze to his shoulder.

"Come on Freddie bet you can't run faster than me." Louis owed Zayn a nice dinner as he watched Freddie run off yelling after him. He gently led Maddison inside the house and closed the glass door and led her to where Harry was with Hannah, Daniel, and the officer.

"I will have these screenshots and body camera sent to your respective lawyers so they each have a copy for the court meeting." The officer was saying

"Thank you." Harry said shaking his hand before he turned to them, "hey princess you have to go with your mom."

"What? Why?" Maddie asked looking between Harry and Hannah, "you promised. You promised I'd stay with Daddy all week." Maddie said looking at Hannah

"Yes well I've changed my mind now come on we need to go. We still have to pick up the cookies from the shop for career day tomorrow. Remember."

"You're not going to career day tomorrow?" Louis asked looking at Harry who clearly knew nothing about it.

"Mom says daddy has to work." Maddie told Louis

"I'm off tomorrow. What's career day?"

"It doesn't matter Daniel is going. He is with her everyday after all. Much more her dad than you are. Come on Maddie we are leaving." Hannah said grabbing Maddie's wrist only for Maddie to yank it out of her grip.

"YOU LIED! YOU SAID YOU CALLED DADDY AND HE SAID HE COULDN'T COME! IM NOT LEAVING! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Maddie yelled

"You are leaving right now come on." Hannah snapped grabbing Maddie's arm again.

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO! NO!" Maddie screamed fighting out of her mother's grip, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE SAID A WEEK! SHE PROMISED!"

Louis had tears in his eyes as he watched this beautiful little girl fall apart in a way only a child in a such a bad situation could. She was crying, screaming, kicking, flailing, doing everything she could to fight off Hannah. Louis looked at Harry and could see the pain in his face as he tried to make her let go of him when she hugged his waist begging him to keep her.

"Maddison that is enough. Stand up and let's go." Hannah said

"I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Maddie screamed as she was dragged out of the house, "DADDY! DADDY PLEASE! SHE PROMISED A WEEK! SHE PROMISED! DADDY! LET ME GO! LOULOU! LOUIS! LOUIS DON'T LET HER TAKE ME! LOUIS PLEASE!" Louis took a step forward fully prepared to go to jail to stop Maddie's pain but a strong arm wrapped around his waist and kept him there.

"Harry let me go. Harry let go of me." Louis hissed pushing his arm off of him and running outside, he pulled Maddie into tight loving hug before Hannah could put her in the car, "It'll be okay. Hush darling it'll be okay. Relax. Deep breaths. There you go. Easy breathing...there you go." Louis whispered gently as he rubbed her shaking back.

"She promised. She promised a week."

"I know but it's not your daddy's fault, sweetie. Now tell me what you want your daddy to bake for your class."

"C-C-C-Cookie dough cup-cupcakes." Maddie said between sniffles, hiccups, and heavy breaths from her crying and screams.

"Okay. I'll tell him. He loves you and so do I. It'll be okay." Louis stood up and kissed her head then without even turning towards Hannah he headed back inside the house.

Harry was sitting on the floor crying just as hard as Maddie had been a few moments ago. Louis slid into his lap and hugged his neck feeling his arms wrap around his waist and his sobs wet the sweater Louis was wearing.

"Don't you ever hold me back when my child yells for me like that again." Louis said as gently and a softly as he could so Harry knew he wasn't mad at him. Harry didn't respond, not that Louis expected him to, he just sat there holding Louis as he cried and Louis sat there holding Harry rubbing his back and trying to do whatever he could to soothe him. They sat there well over an hour before Harry stood up and headed upstairs with a soft click  of a door closing. Only then did Louis let his own tears fall as he sat between Anne and his mom.

****

Harry only came down briefly to say goodbye to their families and he tried to apologize to Louis' family, but his mother out a stop to that immediately. When they had left Harry had kissed Louis' cheek then headed back upstairs. Louis understood that Harry wasn't in the right space to be out so he didn't mind doing the last few things that needed done before Freddie came back. Zayn had texted saying he was feeding Freddie then would bring him back and from there they would decide if he should take him overnight. So yes Louis definitely owed Zayn for today. Louis had just sat down when the front door opened and Zayn and Freddie came in.

"I'm sorry." Louis said looking at Zayn

"Don't worry about it. I can't even imagine what you two are feeling."

"She yelled for me. Cried and screamed for me. I felt useless. Harry hasn't left the bedroom except to say goodbye and he tried to apologize to my mom. I can't imagine it. I can't- my heart hurts." Louis said stubbornly wiping his eyes before Freddie saw

"Do you want me to take him for the night and take him to nursery? I don't mind and it wouldn't be the first time I kept him an extra night."

"Do you mind? It's just Harry will want to make Maddie's cupcakes and-"

"Say no more. Go take little man to say goodnight to Harry and I'll pack him a bag." Louis nodded calling for Freddie and heading upstairs with him as he told him he would be staying with Zayn.

"We're going to tell Harry goodnight okay?"

"Okay." Freddie said cheerfully opening the door and running to the bed climbing up on it , "hi Harry Papa is letting me stay with Zayn on a school night so I came to say goodnight to you before I leave."

"He is? That sounds like so much fun. I bet Zayn will let you stay up an extra hour if you ask him." Harry said

"I bet so too. I'll miss you though but I guess I'll just see you tomorrow because we live here now so I won't miss you too much." Harry chuckled

"I hope you have a lovely time tonight Freddie and you give this to Zayn. Put it in his hand and yell no takebacks and run away got it?" Harry said as he grabbed a bundle of 50s and handed it to Freddie.

"Okay."

"Tell him to buy art supplies or pizza or beer or a night buddy. It's his to do with what he wants. No take backs alright?"

"You got it Harry. Goodnight."

"Goodnight squirt." Louis chuckled as he followed Freddie downstairs where he did as Harry told put the cash bundle in his hand and yelled no takebacks then ran outside to the car. Louis could hear Harry laughing from upstairs as Zayn glared at them.

"Louis I can't-"

"You can and you will. Look I promise you that is the lowest bundle in the house so if you don't take that one he'll just give you one that's bigger. Seriously just go on and get out of here and have fun and spend it on yourself mister." Louis said pushing Zayn out of the house and locking the door behind him laughing as he watched Zayn glare at him through the window. He waited until they had left before he headed upstairs and saw Harry was sitting up in the bed now rubbing at his face with his sweater.

"I'm sorry. I just...I couldn't socialize anymore."

"Hey it's okay. Trust me my family didn't even care you were up here after that. The only reason they stayed so long because we all cleaned up so you didn't have to."

"I know and I feel bad. They were guests they shouldn't-"

"My mom was feeling useless not cleaning something, she was ready to beat you if you didn't let her help. She didn't mind. No one did. It's okay they still think you're amazing."

"Okay...alright...tell me what I gotta do." Harry said rubbing his face again.

"She said she wanted cookie dough cupcakes."

"Figures. I made them a few months ago for her birthday, I saw her a few weeks after her birthday and I baked her a cupcake of her choice. I need to run to the store real quick but I have mostly everything here."

"Okay. What do you need me to do."

"Relax. I need you to relax. Lay in bed, go to sleep, lay on the couch, whatever it is, just relax. You've done enough today."

"I want to help."

"And you will when I need you to so for now take a nap because this might take a few hours."

"Alright. I'll nap on the couch."

"Good." Harry kissed his forehead as he stood up and they headed downstairs together. Louis made up his spot on the couch and laid down while Harry got the recipe and checked his ingredients. He gave Louis a kiss before he headed out of the house and to the store. Louis fell asleep shortly after that as Titanic played on the TV.

****

Making the cupcakes didn't take as long as Louis had feared, but he was definitely regretting it Monday morning as he sat in the passenger seat of the Murano while Harry drove to the school. Louis had explained to Harry that career day was an all day event, hence the snacks, a few students were assigned a good a beverage like Maddie and a few others were assigned desserts. A few others were assigned drinks and lunch and stuff like that. There were thirteen students each year one class so the forty cupcakes were more than enough for Maddie's class and they would have extra to bring home which Louis was excited about. When they got to the school building Louis walked with Harry to Maddie's classroom. Maddie was sitting at a round table with her chin held in her hand as she kicked her feet.

"There she is." Louis said quietly pointing at her watching as Harry grinned when he spotted her as well. Louis said a quick hi to Maddison before he headed to his class as Harry sat in a too small chair at a too small table with Maddie. Turns out career day was much more than just talking about your job, at least for this classroom, there were coloring sheets and recommended questions to ask. It was very thought out and Harry had never been more happy to be so uncomfortable especially when the teacher had given Maddie a stack of papers about doctors to pass out to the students and parents.

[maylovexhs]

everytime - GOLDEN HOUR (Chp. 26)

Author’s Note: I would like to thank miss Kacey Musgraves. That’s it. That’s all I have to say. (This is my new favorite chapter. And it’s a tear jerker) - May.

Catch up on everytime here

August 26th, 2019.

*HARRY'S POV*

"Sam's son just got engaged" My mother said. 

"Jack?" Gemma asked. "The youngest one?"

My mother nodded.

"Mhmm" She said. "Sam said he proposed on his girlfriend's birthday a few days ago"

A bee closely flew next to my face. I flinched, waving my hand at it away. My sister smirked at my response. Why did we choose to have breakfast in the backyard again?

"Did he?" I asked. "Didn't they just get together?"

"Yes but they have been friends since university" My mother said. "They already set a wedding date?"

"Which is?" Gemma asked.

"June 28th" My mother said.

"Next year?" I asked. "They want to wait a year?"

"Are they going to be moving in first?" Gemma asked.

"I don't know" My mother said. "You have to ask them"

My phone vibrated on the table. 

"But a year?" Gemma asked. "Most people get marry months after they get engaged"

I picked my phone up from the table, looking at the screen. I smiled. 

"Who's that?" Gemma asked.

I looked to Gemma.

"Just Y/N" I said, setting my phone down on the table. 

"Aren't you going to answer?" My mother asked me.

"Not at breakfast" I said.

"Oh, you sound ridiculous" Gemma said to me. "Just answer her already"

I looked to my mom, giving me an approving look. I picked up my phone again, answering Y/N's facetime.

"Hi" I said. "What's up?"

"Just returning your call from yesterday. I was busy with a photoshoot" Y/N said. "Anyways, what's going on with you?"

"We're having a family day" I told her, showing Gemma and my mother to her.

"Hi Anne!" Y/N said, waving to her. "Hey Gemma"

"Hi darling!" My mother said to her. "What are you up to?"

"Oh, nothing really" Y/N said. "Just writing little pieces of songs in my hotel room. Nothing else"

"That doesn't sound like nothing" I commented.

"Ooh!" My mother said, excited. "You should come out to dinner with us later. Gemma wants to go to an Italian place. What is it called again?"

"It's Italian" Gemma said. "Doesn't matter the name"

My mother rolled her eyes at Gemma.

"What do you say, Y/N?" My mother asked her. "Us and Italian?"

I looked to Y/N, who seemed hesitant.

"I would love to" Y/N said. "But I don't want to come if that means I ruin your family day"

"Oh, nonsense!" My mother said. "We all love you. You're already family to us"

"Come on" I begged Y/N. "You want to spend the rest of the day in your hotel room?"

Y/N bit her lip, tempted. She sighed, giving in. 

"Alright, I'll come" She said. "Where's the place?"

"I'll send you it later" I told her.

"Tell her to wear white" Gemma said. "Can't have her breaking the rule"

"And Gemma says to wear white" I passed on to Y/N.

"Wear white" Y/N said, nodding. "Got it"

"We'll see you soon" My mother said to her.

"Okay" Y/N said. "See you soon. Bye!"

Y/N hung up the call on me. I set my phone down on the table. Gemma and my mother looked to each other, smirking.

"What's that look for?" I asked them. 

Gemma sipped on her cup of tea. My mom turned to me.

"Do you ever think of getting back with Y/N?" My mother asked me.

I raised my eyebrows at her, confused and repulsed.

"No, no" I said, shaking my head. "We tried that for a month and that went nowhere"

"Dating for three weeks isn't a relationship" Gemma said. "It's a fling"

"We both agreed we are better off as friends" I said. "And Y/N really isn't what I'm looking for in a person"

"She was when you dated her" Gemma commented.

I crossed my arms at her.

"Honey, we're just saying Y/N seems good for you" My mom said. "You seem so happy when she's around. We just want to see you happy"

"I am happy" I told her. "But I don't love Y/N, not in that way."

Gemma and my mother looked to each other. My mother sighed, letting this conversation be over. My mother looked to Gemma.

"How's Michal's new job?" My mother asked her.

"It's been alright so far" Gemma said. "Not complaining yet"

I took a sip of tea from my cup.

Y/N . . . nope. Never again.  

Later. 5 PM.

"And cheese!" My mother said.

I smiled at my mother as she took the picture. She looked at her phone.

"Aww" She blushed. "My babies"

I removed my arm around Gemma. I took my phone out of my pocket, going to my messages.

"No word yet?" Gemma asked me.

"Nope" I said. "Sent her a text fifteen minutes before. Nothing yet"

"Shall we just go in then?" Gemma asked Mum. "She'll probably come when we are ordering"

"Let me give her a call again" I said.

I tapped on Y/N's name on my screen. I pressed my phone to my ear, hearing it ring. I looked in the distance, the phone ringing another few seconds. I squinted my eyes, seeing a woman looking similar to Y/N walk down the block towards me. I hung the phone up, seeing Y/N more clearer as she walked over to us. Her hair was up in a bun, her bangs shining and covering her forehead. She was wearing a white button down shirt with matching white shorts. Didn't expect her to wear converse though but at least they were white.

"Oh, Y/N!" My mother blushed. "You look absolutely beautiful. I forgot when was the last time I saw you" 

"Definitely more than a year ago" Y/N answered, hugging her. "How long have you been waiting for me?"

"Oh, not long" My mother said as they separated from each other.   I smirked, seeing Gemma roll her eyes.

"I've missed you" My mother said to Y/N. "All Harry does is talk about you. Doesn't care to bring you over though"

"Well, I don't blame him" Y/N said. "I've been busy but I've missed you too"

Y/N looked to Gemma, smiling. She had her arms open, ready to hug my sister.

"How are you, Gemma?" Y/N asked. "How's your sunglasses going?"

My sister and Y/N shared a quick hug.

"Quite alright." Gemma said. "More of a writer now"

"Really?" Y/N asked her, excitement in her voice. "You have to tell me about it inside"

Y/N looked to me, smirking as she knew what I was going to say.

"My phone is on five percent" She said. "Didn't want to risk it"

"Couldn't send a text?" I asked.

Y/N shook her head.

"Well, shall we go in?" My mother asked.

Gemma entered the restaurant, holding the door for my mother. I caught the door before it shut, holding it open for Y/N.

"After you" I said to her.

"Thank you" Y/N said, walking inside.

"Mhmm" I nodded, walking after her.

An Hour Later.

Dinner was going alright. Alright as it could ever be going. Y/N and my mother caught up. She told Y/N about our not-so-new cat Evie. Gemma told Y/N about Michal. Y/N was just beginning to tell them about her documantary.

"It's only of the European shows and some interviews" Y/N said. "We're aiming for a Christmas release"

"Christmas?" My mother asked.

"Uh, huh" Y/N said. "Lisa and I think that's the best timing. You know, with the Christmas marketing?"

"We get it" Gemma said. "H's releasing his album around that time too"

"You are?" Y/N asked, turning to me. "I thought you said September"

I shook my head.

"December 13" I said. "The official date"

Y/N smirked at me.

“Can’t wait you own a copy” Y/N said.

“I’ll send you one” I offered her.

Y/N nodded. I looked to my mother and Gemma, both sharing the same look before in the morning when I was on the phone with Y/N.

“Well, we will try to watch your movie when it comes out” My mother said. “It’s always busy at Christmas. Everyone comes over”

“As Harry told me” Y/N said. 

“That reminds me,” My mother said, an idea striking her. “Why don’t you come over for Christmas?”

“Mom-“ I said, trying to stop her as I knew what was coming.

“Harry told me you’re not close with your parents” She said. “I can’t imagine spending the holidays alone”

Y/N blushed. I didn’t know if it was from flattery or awkwardness.

“I think it’s too early to make plans for Christmas, Mom” Gemma said to her.

“I’m just offering” My mother said. “But it’s your choice, Y/N. When Christmas comes around and if you want some company . . . we’re here. You’re always welcomed”

Y/N smiled at my mother.

“Thank you, Anne” Y/N said. “That’s very sweet of you but I always spend the holidays with my sister or my friends. But I’ll keep the invitation in mind if anything changes”

My mother smiled to herself, sitting back. Gemma’s phone started to ring. She took a quick peek of who was calling.

“It’s Chloe” Gemma said.

“Go ahead and take it” My mother said to her.

I nodded at Gemma, giving her my approval. Gemma got up from the table, taking the call and walking out the restaurant. My mother’s attention returned back to Y/N.

“When do end tour again?” My mother asked her. “Next year, right?”

“Uh, yeah” Y/N said. “Next year, October. But I got breaks between each leg so I’m taking it day by day.”

“When’s your next break then?” My mother asked.

“Halloween” Y/N and I said at the same time.

Y/N smiled at me and then looked back to my mother.

“Actually, now you mentioned it . . .you should come to one of my shows” Y/N said. “I’m only here for tomorrow and the day after”

“I would love to come” My mother said. “I have dinner with a friend tomorrow but I’m free the day after”

“So, Harry and you” Y/N said. “Gemma could come too”

“I’ll ask her for you” I said.

Gemma walked back into the restaurant, frustrated.

“Sad to call it quits early but Chloe needs me” Gemma said. “She got locked out of her apartment and she needs somewhere to spend the night at”

Y/N and I looked to each other. Locked out?

“Oh, no” My mother said. “You’re going to pick her up? She could stay at our house”

“I think she would be fine spending it by mine’s” Gemma said. “Do you want to leave with me now or pick you up later?”

“You only brought one car?” Y/N asked us.

“We came together” I said. “Didn’t plan on this happening”

My mother looked to us and then to Gemma, debating what to do.

“I really don’t want to leave you two alone” My mother said to Y/N and I. “I wanted to spend more time with you” She said to Y/N.

“There’s plenty of time to catch up at my show” Y/N said. “And it’s no big deal. Harry and I are fine on our own”

“Go with Gemma” I told my mother. “It’s only a few blocks from my house. I’ll take care of the bill”

My mother smiled at me.

“Take good care of her, will you?” She asked me.

“He will” Y/N said, answering for me. “Always does”

My mother nodded. Gemma and her quickly left, leaving Y/N and I alone. We talked for a bit before finishing eating. I paid for tonight. I asked Y/N if she wanted to walk home with me. She said yes.

“Did I tell you about that time Tom’s daughter almost vomited into my mouth?” I asked Y/N as we walked.

“No” Y/N said. “But you told me once that Lux did”

“I did?” I asked, not remembering when I told her that. 

“Uh huh” Y/N said.

“Well, then” I said. “Did I tell you another baby almost vomiting on me?”

Y/N let out a little laugh, her smile quickly fading away. I stared at her, feeling something was wrong with her. I suddenly remembered my mother’s suggestion about her spending Christmas with us.

“I’m sorry about my mom earlier” I said to Y/N. “I swear I only told her years ago you weren’t close to your parents. I didn’t think she would-“

“It’s alright” Y/N said, stopping me. “I found it sweet that your mother invited me. Don’t get many invites these days to Christmas parties”

“It’s August” I said. “Not supposed to this time”

Y/N chuckled, her smile fading quickly more than before.

“Are you okay?” I asked her. “You look like something is wrong”

“It’s nothing” Y/N said. “Don’t want to bother you with you”

“Why would I be bothered?” I asked her. “Wait,  it’s my mother, isn’t it? You don’t have to lie-“

“No, no, it’s not that” Y/N said, shaking her head. “It’s just Felix. He called me yesterday in the middle of my photoshoot”

"He did?" I asked her. "About what?"

"He's been dating someone" Y/N said. "They've been dating for almost a year. And he got her pregnant . . ."

"Oh" I said, feeling sympathy immediately for Y/N. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, no" Y/N said. "I cried in front of Lisa and Adrian after he told me and I don't want to cry in front of you now-"

"Why?" I asked her. "You cried in front of me before"

"But I don't want to deal with it 'all that' now" Y/N said. "Not yet"

I nodded, understanding her. She still wasn't healed from her miscarriage, or from Felix of that matter.

"Were you writing earlier about him?" I asked Y/N.

"Yeah" Y/N said. "It's just . . . fuck him"

I chuckled at her response.

"Like, fuck him" Y/N said. "How is he so happy about having another baby when we lost ours? It took me a damn year to process it and another year to date again and he just moves on like that"

"You're angry at him" I said. "It's okay to feel that way"

"I know it is, H" Y/N said. "But it's all . . ."

Y/N stopped walking and sighed. I stopped walking and looked to her. Her eyes were tearing up.

"That should be me" Y/N said. "I know I sound jealous but sometimes I think if I didn't have a miscarriage, Felix and I would be so happy together. Felix and I would have never broke up if it wasn't for the baby"

I stared at Y/N, feeling her pain. She had the right to be angry. How could she not be? She was happy, about to have everything she wanted with someone she loved and loved her back. Then, life happened and took her joy away. She was healing from it still. She was healing all alone when she shouldn't be. No one should be alone in pain. 

"Now, he gets to have that life with someone else" Y/N said. "He gets to be happy while-"

I hugged Y/N, wrapping my arms around her body tightly.

"I know" I told her. "It isn't fair. You don't deserve to be in pain. Not alone"

I felt Y/N shift in my arms. I loosened my grip on her, thinking she would want to pull away. Instead, she gripped onto my shirt, holding onto me tightly as she cried. I rested my forehead on the top of her head while rubbing her back. Some people passed us, looking intrigued and confused.

"You don't have to go through this alone" I said to her. "You shouldn't. No one should. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you"

Y/n didn't say anything to me. I figured I shouldn't say anything either. It was best for her to say something first, or at least get herself together first. We stood there, quietly holding each other for a moment. Y/N gently pulled back from me.

"It isn't fair" Y/N said, wiping her cheeks of tears. "But it still hurts"

Some of Y/N's mascara was smeared. Her cheeks were splotchy, red mostly with spots of pink and white from the crying but that didn't matter. I was just happy she was feeling better.

"I'm sorry I ruined your shirt" Y/N said, looking at my shirt. "I got mascara on you"

I looked down at my shirt. She did get mascara on me. That didn't matter either.

I looked back up to Y/N.

"I mean it, Y/N" I told her. "You don't have to go through this alone"

A beam of sunlight perfectly landed on Y/N's face, casting light on her eyes. Y/N smiled at me with her eyes sparkling, having a gleam in them. I felt my heart jolt. Y/N smiled at me hundreds of times before but this one - this one felt different.

"Thank you, Harry" Y/N said. "For always being there for me"

Y/N wrapped her arms around me, gently hugging me. I smiled, embracing her. I felt my heart gave another jolt. 

My heart. Wait. 

Y/N pulled away from me, still smiling. I stared at her.

Oh.

Oh.

[akechicrimes]

summary: akira accompanies goro when he visits his mother’s grave after shido’s execution

tags: no content warnings

read on ao3 here

Yua Akechi's grave is small, without any inscription save her name and dates, belying the funds the Akechi family hadn't had at the time. Akira has seen it three times. Not in consecutive years. The first time, Akira was twenty, he and Goro weren't dating yet, and honest to god, it was a complete coincidence that he bumped into Goro on the rail station while Goro is on his way there. After three minutes of painful small talk, Goro let him come along because "you looked so sad and pitiful, trying to ask if I was alright without asking if I was alright," according to Goro.

The trip was long, awkward, and almost entirely silent. Yua Akechi died on a spring day, which, apparently, was common due to something-or-other about depression and the seasons changing, but mostly Akira remembers that the sun was incredibly bright and cheerful for a woman's deathday anniversary, and that afterwards they'd gotten iced coffee and drank it on the patio of an outdoor cafe. Akira remembers thinking it would have been a nice date, if Goro's mother's grave hadn't been three blocks away.

The second time Akira visited Yua Akechi's grave was when he was twenty-three, some time after Akira had decided he would not be informing his own parents that he was dating a boy and would continue to "date" Ann so Ann could, in turn, get away with dating Shiho under her parents' noses. As if to make up for Akira's parents, Goro had taken Akira to Yua Akechi's grave on the anniversary of her death. They'd gone through all the traditional rites, done the silent prayers, cleaned the grave and set up the fresh flowers, and then Goro had stood up and bowed.

"This is my boyfriend. I love him very much," Goro had said to the tombstone, as formally as he would to any living parent, which actually made Akira choke on air a little because he'd never heard Goro say the words I love you without twenty minutes of hemming and hawing first. "I hope you will accept that," Goro had said, which was the closest Akira had ever heard Goro get to asking for permission or forgiveness for preferring men. Either way, the gravestone had not responded.

On the third time, Akira is twenty-seven, and it is the first-year anniversary of Shido's execution.

Shido also died in the spring. Goro had not mentioned an opinion on it.

This time, Goro doesn't talk at all. Doesn't tell Akira a single thing the whole time, until Akira wonders why he was even invited. Akira forgot to take the ring box out of his pocket, because he takes it with him everyone like a dirty secret nowadays, and he wonders if it's better or worse that he has to stand here and play guessing games with what Goro is thinking like they're back in high school while Akira has a 900,000 yen ring in his pocket. (What? He was buying Goro seventy thousand yen bracelets back in high school; he's not skimping on their engagement ring now.)

They wind up at the same outdoor cafe they'd gone to the first time. It is still a disproportionately beautiful spring day, the cafe is still set up outside with the same metal chairs, except now Goro and Akira are seven years older. Goro spaces out staring at the road while Akira orders for both of them, two iced black coffees with a side of sugar for Akira. The order comes. They drink it in thick, contemplative silence. Akira wonders if maybe he shouldn't have come, if perhaps Goro preferred to do this alone.

Akira, eventually, starts texting Futaba in one hand with his other hand on the ring in his pocket—not because he's going to propose now, of all days, but just because Akira spends half his days worried he's going to lose and the other half worried Goro will find it if Akira leaves it at the apartment and all his days worried that Goro secretly already bought his own ring and is going to propose first. He wonders if Yua Akechi would have approved, if he'd asked her for permission to marry her son.

"He never did apologize to her," says Goro suddenly.

Akira doesn't ask who he's talking about. Goro's still staring studiously at the road, ignoring the cheerful outdoor cafe around them. Akira puts down his phone.

"He apologized to me, when I visited him in jail before he died."

Okay, Akira should probably be worried that he never knew that Goro went to see Shido, but Akira's just going to file that one away for later.

"He apologized for all sorts of things. He even told me he was sorry for what he did to you," says Goro. "Hearing him apologize just made me angrier. I'd spent all those years waiting to hear him apologize, and when it finally happened, I hated it. And I was so furious that I forgot to tell him to apologize to my mother. Which, frankly, was the only thing he was ever going to be good for."

Goro takes an absent-minded sip of his coffee. Rattles the cup to break apart the ice. Examining it clinically, he says, "I spent all that time trying to make him apologize for what he did to us, and then at the last second, I forgot." He smirks. "I'm a pretty bad son, aren't I?"

Akira frowns. Goro spent so much of his life hating his father and never really discussing his mother—Goro never struck him as the sort to get caught up in filial piety or filial guilt. It was Goro who told Akira to never mind his own parents' opinions on who Akira chose to date.

"You did the best you could," says Akira, somewhat at a loss.

"And it wasn't good enough, evidently." Goro leans back in his chair. It is, again, a beautiful spring day, cool enough to wear the jacket with the collar that frames Goro's face. He sits in his chair like reclining on a throne, haughty and arrogant, as if to cover himself in his usual spikes and thorns for self-defense. "An apology, too—what good is an apology? I should have made him donate money. Hire someone to keep her grave clean every day. Put his money to good use."

Just as quickly as he started, he shakes his head. "Never mind. There's no use in worrying about it, either. I don't mean to burden you with things neither of us can fix."

Akira still wants to know, though. Not for anything, not to fix it, just to know. "Did she want an apology?"

Goro hesitates. "I don't know." He shakes his head, smiler wider without humor. "Unbelievable. I think I must have thought so, considering the lengths that I went to get an apology from him. But I don't think I ever heard her say those words. So maybe I only ever imagined that she wanted an apology in the first place." He starts laughing unpleasantly. The next table over, a woman stares at him until he stifles his giggles, mouth twisted like he's just tasted something bitter.

Akira fiddles with his hair. Bad habit that he never broke. He wishes he could lean over and hold Goro's hand, even if under the table, but Goro has never appreciated PDA even when he's in a good mood.

"You did the best you could," he says again. "That's all you can do."

Goro just shakes his head. He stares back at the woman who'd been staring at him until she looks away, nervously fussing over her child. Then he sighs.

"I can't believe you really mean that," says Goro. "You're just saying that because you love me."

"I say that I love you because I mean that."

Goro's cheeks slowly acquire a light pink color. "You're outrageous," he mutters, looking away.

"It's just the truth."

"That's why it's outrageous. You're unbelievable." Cheeks growing darker, Goro drains the rest of his iced coffee, stands up and throws the plastic cup in a nearby trash bin. "Aren't you done with your drink? Let's go."

"Ah—yeah. Hang on."

Akira throws his plastic cup away, and Goro waits outside while Akira buys a pair of bread buns to go, for when Goro inevitably gets hungry on the train ride back, because old Metaverse habits died hard and Akira still makes a habit of carrying food for other people. Goro is already outside the cafe, still looking out across the road in the direction of the cemetery, out of sight over the hill. When Goro sees him carrying the paper bag, Goro gives him a flat but fond look, knowing exactly what that food is for.

"I really hope she would have approved of you," he says.

Akira wonders why, even when imagining the way his own mother might have loved him, Goro can't imagine that someone would love him unconditionally.