#not rly sure how i lived thru that actually

[prettygirlsmakegrcves]

maisie peters i am in ur walls

[akkivee]

the pivotal points in bat’s past 🤔

kuukou

age ????- his best friend moved away

age 14: attained a higher level of asceticism than his father, met hitoya who helped clear an assault charge on some good will that went awry

age 15: left home to flex his talent, got humbled quick lol but met ichiro and vowed to grow stronger

jyushi:

age ???? (presumably 6)- received amanda from his grandmother

age 13- started middle school where he ‘befriends’ iyogi

age 14- has been a victim of bullying for a year and the bullying escalated to the point his grandmother was killed. met hitoya who made sure iyogi ain’t seeing the light ever again and a little later helped jyushi find the will to keep living

hitoya

age 14- loses his brother

age 23- upon receiving a tip, he decided to change majors from being a doctor to a lawyer in order to jail the guy that bullied his brother. broke up with jakurai after a disagreement

age 31- meets kuukou and jyushi for the first time and we see the fruits of his lawyer efforts

[munchy-k]

danmei list that no one asked for (long post incoming)

ok so I've accumulated a pretty decent list of danmei that aren't as well known and I want to talk about them!! so here we go! these aren't in any particular order btw

Nan Chan

an aloof, listless immortal and a very hungry caterpillar fish demon go on an adventure to retrieve a runaway bell 🔔. and also they both have amnesia. CUE ANGSTY BACKSTORY REVEAL!!!! 🔪🔪🔪

I'm sure it's to no ones surprise that this is first because I'm a SLUT for nan chan. if nan chan has one fan it is ME and if there r no fans I am DEAD!! I love this novel so much it has the perfect combination of painful angst and sweet sweet lovin' !! the main couple's relationship makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside 🥺👉👈 (probably because I am a touch love language girly and these bitches be touching!!!) and I LOVE the characters sm. especially my little meow meow Jing Lin and his adorable little stone figure. I live for the interactions between Cang Ji and the stone figure! it may be a little difficult to read the first time around since the plot gets a little convoluted but it all makes sense in the end! 10/10 really recommend!!

How to Survive as a Villain

transmigration plot! rich ceo gets transported to a novel as the villain emperor and gets buddy buddy with the novel's MC so he doesn't get killed. ends up buddying too close to the sun and accidentally becomes the leading lady. drama ensues!

this is another favorite of mine!! this one is another good mix of angst and romance and the MC is so funny and likeable. there are also two cute side couples which is always fun! (one of them is f/f so it gets extra brownie points with me🤭) its also not too complicated which makes it great for casual reading ^^ p.s. this one has an official eng tl now! its being published thru rosmei (like nanchan) so it has to be ordered thru a 3rd party distributor but I think its worth reading 👀

Living to Suffer/ Till Death Do Us Part

living to suffer: ancient wuxia style prequel where the characters meet as a humble doctor and member of a demonic sect and their fate intertwines. this one has a BE

till death do us part: early to mid 1900s setting sequel. the reincarnated characters meet again as a elementary school teacher and rich playboy and face the struggles of having a relationship. this one has a bittersweet ending

THIS...... OK THESE NOVELS... let me tell you something. this made me SOB. oh my god especially the ending of TDDUP. I saw a review saying "I honestly could believe there lived a Shen Liangsheng and a Ch'in Ching, and that they fell in love..." and hard agree because something about this story felt so real?? which made it all the more intriguing and heartbreaking!! its set around the time of the japanese invasion of china and the cultural revolution so it does talk a lot about politics but it wasn't a difficult read imo. BUT BE WARNED! there is a LOT of smut. (not rly vanilla either..) and the relationship does get pretty toxic at times 😬 but it gets better by the end of the book and the toxicity actually does add to the story and character development. if u give it a try please read the prequel (living to suffer) first!

After Being Forced to Marry the Evil Star General

a deputy prime minister MC who's powerful, high-maintenance, and hated by the public is arranged to marry a laid-back general who is much loved and praised (but also rumored to be cursed!). this is an arranged marriage + enemies to lovers novel

I'm actually in the middle of rereading this one rn 👀. I think this one is also good for casual reading since it isn't very complicated. in the beginning the interactions between the main couple r rly funny because they just clash all day long lol. its also got a little angst sprinkled in 😎👍 I did see some reviews saying that the MC is not likeable since he does some kinda bad things and he's stuck up but I still liked him idk 😭 I feel like his flaws made him more interesting

Married Thrice to Salted Fish

a doctor MC who only wishes to study medicine (and poison oop) gets arranged to marry a guy whos dying. turns out that guy has been taken over by a transmigrator! transmigrator ML then proceeds to die and come back as someone else.. more than once 😭

if you love a couple that schemes together then this is the novel for you! the MC in this book kinda reminds me of the MC from the book I mentioned right above. (these titles too long man 😅) I found the repeated "reincarnation" plot to be pretty interesting. the interactions between the couple were pretty amusing as well and since the ML is from modern times he randomly uses modern slang. MC even picks some lingo up from him loll

Xiao Jiu

about a 9th prince MC whos trying to win the heart of the emperor's cold and aloof bodyguard! call him the prince of rizz because it works eventually 😎 this is an age gap romance with a smidge of angst and political drama

this a short and sweet story! the ML is described as cold a lot but he actually becomes rly sweet and warm later on so he isn't one of those stone faced characters. I don't have much else to say about this besides "its cute, I like it" 😅

Guanshan Muyu

wife-chasing crematorium story! it's about a outlaw MC who's kidnapped by the very guy who betrayed him. ML wants to win MC's heart back but issues from the past cause a bunch of misunderstandings :( but it is a happy ending!!

man.... I haven't read a wife-chasing crematorium story before this and I was not prepared for the amount of ANGST. basically everyone is miserable for the entire damn time! 😭😭😭 but that's not to say it wasn't a good story!! all the suffering made the ending feel even sweeter 🥰 if you cry easily maybe keep a pack of tissues on hand when you read this 😂

I wrote this in my notes app while reading and I feel like it summarizes the ML pretty well bahaha 👇

"qi yan: my girl is mad at me. I hope I die"

It’s Not Easy Being a Master

transmigrator becomes the villainous shizun in a novel he read and attempts to avoid a bad ending but *gasp* the novels MC (ML) has been reborn with all the past memories!! MC tries to get close to ML while ML is like wtf is going on ! seems like a typical "transmigrated as a villain" type plot until suddenly it's not... 👀👀

this one was rly fun! there's a big plot twist that I found rly interesting and unique! very fresh!! fresh produce!! 🥒🫑🥕🍅 I also like the MC a lot he had a rly silly personality hehe. I think this novel is good for people who like solving mysteries alongside the characters since a lot of hints are dropped throughout

Golden Stage/ Terrace

arranged marriage between a court dog and a general who's become phsyically disabled. everyone knows that the two HATE each other... but do they really? 👀 no, it's not an enemies to lovers, but the other characters seem to think so! 🤭

great novel!! very good!! I love the dynamic between the main couple! they love to banter so their interactions are entertaining. there's a bit of political plot but it's nothing too complicated and the angst is minimal. I also like that one of the main characters is a ambulatory wheelchair user. this one also has a official eng tl now but I'm not sure from which publishing house

Sharing Rain and Dew

MC whos staying in the palace dies a painful death but then gets reborn several months in the past. he spends his time stressing about his impending death but for some reason the Emperor has suddenly become super clingy and doting

this one is very very short, only 5 chapters + 3 extras, but it's quite funny and cute. despite being so short the story is actually pretty interesting? good for a quick, casual read

list over!! I have a few more but this is already too long of a post 😭 I hope someone can find this helpful for some reading recs!

[wiltkingart]

as another fruity tguy i really REALLY love the way u draw men so so much i see your work and i feel warm from head to toe cause you make trans men so beautiful. i can feel in every work that you love transmascs and being a tmasc and it comes thru in every paintstroke to me.

sorry to hijack with a big paragraph but last anon rly spoke to me and i wanted to share my experience if its ok

to last anon-- my journey is perhaps different from others but for me when i started T i also felt like it was the most important, life or death thing, but after spending time on T i found that even if the results werent as Manly as i was hoping for originally, i suddenly found myself in love with the simple fact that i had changed and my body had changed in a way that was on MY terms, even if it wasnt """perfectly passing"". since then ive found that not having T or having to lower my dosage was no longer painful or frightening.. im not sure how else to explain it other than At First, it felt like the testosterone was trying to fight Against the woman that Was my body, to sort of Transform it completely into this Man, but one day i just suddenly realized "oh. im not fighting anymore. and im actually pretty happy" and even tho i wasnt Perfectly masc by a long shot there was suddenly.. peace. i fell in love with my patchy body hair and my funny voice and my weird dick and then to my own suprise i found myself falling in love with the things i used to hate and wanted to get rid of. i suddenly loved my boobs (i wanted top surgery for YEARS before t) i loved my eyelashes, i loved the way my body looked in womens clothes, and i still loved being a man. im still a man and happier with that than ive ever been, but im more feminine now than i really ever have been! and its because suddenly being a man and having this mans body was something that belonged to ME, not to anyone else. this happiness and this body were on MY terms!!! so anon, i hope that you can try hormones and you get to explore the changes that bring you joy and that you find even more joy in the things you never expected before. but if you dont get hrt? youre still one of us always. i hope you will still find the love in your heart for yourself and the man you are regardless. peace and love and trangenderism ❤️

just want to add on that i relate heavily to your part about "falling in love with the things i used to hate and wanted to get rid of" because my chest was one of my biggest source of grief pre-T and could not imagine a life for myself without top surgery, and even injured myself from binding too much. but something about being on hrt and finally seeing and experiencing myself with more masc features (and living my life as a guy, in my own way) gradually flipped a switch in my brain and i started to love my boobs. and then when i stopped T i was worried and scared i would lose that love, but now i actually love them more than ever (if my art wasnt indication enough hehe). there's so many ways to be trans, and be a man, and i'm so grateful i gave myself the patience and space to explore that, and that i can continue to explore and experience joy with it. peace and love and transgenderism forever 💙

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

a

Yesterday i got the craziest message out of the blue .. My ex bf from 2011-2013's other ex gf who he was with before me hit me up to say that he got arrested?? And that her and like 5 other people are pressing charges against him for assault spanning across all different periods of time.. it's really wild idk how to feel. She said if i feel comfortable i can give my own testimony for when they go to court , even tho i dont live in england anymore.. Im like yeah honestly i will because like this dude is so unrelentingly violent and scary he legit almost killed me it was so extreme, i've known a lot of corrupt ppl but he is the only one i've always thought needs to be locked away from society like it's a murder scene waiting to happen not to mention he is just a straightup rapist

it's crazy too cus like 4 or 5 nights ago i had a dream that me and him and the girl who messaged me were all watching videos of ourselves in that time period like i even posted about it on here. i thought it was just a typical trauma processing dream not an actual premonition of something i would have to revisit irl

She said something about how she'd been looking back in her old fb messages with him to help paint a picture of the timeline so out of morbid curiosity today i checked to see if i still had ours. Sure enough i do, i've never looked at them retroactively before, but holy shit like... He is so much more of a monster than i even remembered, i dont get triggered easily anymore but it genuinely hurt my heart to see how horrible he was. Every conversation is just him snapping at me because i didnt respond to him fast enough or something so minor, and the whole time im just trying to apologize and de-escalate but it makes him more and more furious. the day before i was about to fly to london to move back in with him he was threatening to kill himself because i was going to my friends house to say bye to them. He was like "You're going to a party i just know it you're lying to me you'd never tell me you're really going to a party because you know i'm suicidal you've ruined my night you're a piece of shit" Like this was the NIGHT before i was about to leave everything behind just for him

i'm like rly shocked at everything i saw in that convo today im not even scratching the surface with this post. Anyways i guess it's cool that there is some justice happening right now and the people who survived him have been able to band together to try and ensure he can't hurt anyone else in the future. i rly wish none of us ever had to go thru any of that tho ugh i was so young i just really had no idea and it fucked me up for many many years afterwards. ive come a long way tho .

ill probly delete later cus idk who lurks this blog. i prefer not to show weakness :K But yeah.. just wanted to express this crazy unexpected life event and get it off my chest while its fresh

Peace and love !!!

[ca-suffit]

sam confused me a bit when he said the show will always be about the unholy little family, I really don’t know how is that possible.

I was seeing some lestacels talking about nickistat and how it couldn’t be like in the books bc of the age gap, like in the book Nicki was the experienced and cultured one and lestat was a naive young boy, it’s obviously not like that in the books, there’s 9 years gap, lestans are upset about that and i cheer

I think aging Lestat is a big big change from the books and is gonna affect the plot no matter what, like a 34y old will be pathetic to seek the kind of validation and guidance he looks for from Marius and David, can you imagine?lol

Also Rolin says he wants 8 seasons but I’m sure he is trolling, that would mean Sam would be over 50 and playing Lestat de lioncourt like 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭

"sam confused me a bit when he said the show will always be about the unholy little family, I really don’t know how is that possible."

claudia never stops being a theme in the books and their life together is ever present. I think anne could have written a lot of it better, but louis and lestat are forever haunted by their failures with claudia and their relationship then. it affects everything they do forever.

"I was seeing some lestacels talking about nickistat and how it couldn’t be like in the books bc of the age gap, like in the book Nicki was the experienced and cultured one and lestat was a naive young boy, it’s obviously not like that in the books, there’s 9 years gap, lestans are upset about that and i cheer"

idk how it doesn't occur to ppl that someone being physically older but still more sheltered wouldn't be *more* devastating in ways. unless they change lestat's experience with paris, he might be older but still clueless how to navigate that city, have any independence of his family, have experience in relationships. I think that would be interesting.

"I think aging Lestat is a big big change from the books and is gonna affect the plot no matter what, like a 34y old will be pathetic to seek the kind of validation and guidance he looks for from Marius and David, can you imagine?lol"

I mean, not rly tho?? like I just wrote, if he's still been sheltered and unable to escape his home life that whole time, he won't be a worldly 34 y/o. he's also got major daddy issues, that doesn't just go away cuz ur older. aging him up obviously makes him physically older but doesn't rly make it a stretch of reality for his mentality about some stuff. a lot of ppl who live in abuse live like this bcuz surviving however many years thru that means typical milestones and certain developments can pass u by. also none of us ever stops needing validation and guidance anyway.

the show was also always supposed to run long, so they've known from the start what they were casting for. I don't think there'll be much visible difference in actors. I actually think that's why they cast them older. the diff between 20s and 30s is p obvious but 30s to 40s isn't.

[iminthetunnels]

Plz teach me how to live off of $ 500 a year i’m not joking 😭

i actually live off 3500$ a year and i’ll tell u a lil bit of what i do. i also am on stamps and i specifically talk to someone special at the human resource department who helps me with renewal every time. she helps me tremendously. i also use the local food bank bc they get fresh fruits and vegetables and meats from the farmers market i go to. i pick up farmers market vouchers from the health department, that can be combined at the farmers market. i buy fresh veggies that way. every tax season, i buy clothes 2x bigger for my son, all thrifted, and stuff he can no long fit into gets donated, which can be used towards the balance of new clothes for him.

i thrift out the ass and whatever i cant thrift, i try to buy from someone secondhand. my son is disabled and he needs lots of extra help for his epilepsy and he’s blind. so i buy our supplements and total out what i need for the rest of the year to be able to afford them. these can be claimed on ur taxes at tax season bc insurance doesn’t approve his health supplements but theyr needed for him go stay in a certain learning/functioning zone. i work with his ped in order to accomplish this.

i buy castile soap, toothpaste, toothbrushes, shampoo and conditioner, soap in bulk so i never have to worry abt it for the rest of the year.

i have a sewing machine where i repair, make, and put together outfits for both me and my son. helps me look put together.

i don’t splurgeeee rly. like next year i’ll be buying a car and i know that’ll put a massive dent in my funds. but i have no choice.

i also take advantage of like museums and stuff. most of the time i get in for free bc of SNAP, and they’ll have lunches that i can pick thru (the ones here are donated healthy lil snacks i don’t have to worry abt like annie’s and madegood) i use the library often. i also have like a target credit account where i buy his wipes and diapers, i get cash back for that and can buy christmas gifts at the end of the year lol

EVEN THO i’m lit white trash poor and struggle, my son never does. my son has never gone without. it won’t always be like this but i just make do. i also am supported thru friends and family, i am forever grateful for everyone donating and helping me. altho i am scared as all hell to ask for help, they make me feel secure and never a burden. i am forever grateful for all my friends and family. thank u everyone who supports my son and me, THANK U SO MUCH. without u i would for sure struggle.

[xshimaeraxx]

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier, and Ladybug and Cat Noir but only for Adrinette .

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

hello!!! yeah, i love receiving asks, lmao, & as for ur questions:

self, job/work: hmmm. im not rly comfy w any major questions ab my irl life (like stuff along the lines of “where specifically t do you live” (like im a brit, but if somewhere were to ask js where i live in the uk, i wldnt answer, as is common sense (imo) when it comes to the internet), “how old are you” “what is (are) your irl name(s)” etc. etc. - identifying stuff, basically), tho anythin’ else is pretty much on the table rn.

fandoms: oh, fandoms my beloved. my main fandoms atm (for both reading & writing, tho some r only reading while some r only writing, etc. etc.) are cuphead (i have way too much worldbuilding for this one au of mine that branches off into so many aus of the au, its genuinely gettin a lil crazy /pos /lh; i write fic for this one, aswell- in fact, its kinda my main writing-for fandom atm ^^), the hobbit (bagginshield my beloved i love you shjshsjehejs - i also dable vaguely in lotr (mainly gimli/legolas + parentshield tbh lmao) but its mostly js the hobbit for me), good omens (i love the ineffables i love s1 & s2 & HSJSHSJSHSJ i js love it like. all around. fuck gaimon tho, death of the author tyvmm), my hero academia/boku no hero academia (i dont engage w fandom much other then a few fanfic writers’ blogs here on tumblr & ao3 fanfic lmao XD; love the anime tho), harry potter (FUCK jkr, speaking as a brit myself none of us claim her, the transphobes can have her, we dont want her /lh - love the (good parts of) fanbase tho. ive actually made some rly good fic-writer friends thru it over on discord lmao), & ofc rise of the guardians!!! (fuckin love that thing, so sad there was never a second move :sadblob: love playin around w fanon/fandom lore tho, & i LOVE jackrabbit (bunnymund/jack) its my main ship in the fandom, tho im a multishipper so im also kinda partial to some other ones ofc)

ocs, art/drawing, writing, blog specific: not entirely sure what this one’s asking/if its actually a question, but imma answer it any lolol XD. anygays - ocs: i have a few cuphead ocs, but none of ‘em r self-inserts & all only rly exist bc of/for/to enhance/move forward the plot of my (main) cuphead au, tho ofc theyre still ocs - love ‘em like my children even if i dont love ‘em as much as i do the canon characters, snirk. art/drawing: i do draw, tho i rarely post any of my art, and one or two times i have its usually bc im js proud enough of it to want to share it, ehehe. writing: i write. so much fanfic. none of its posted, but i have so many wips i frankly dont know when any one of ‘em will be, sooo… shrug. blog specific: my blog isnt rly “specific”; its more js a place for me to enage w cool art & fics & such & reblog stuff i like on here as well as probably self-promo my own fics & such, as well as js a place to put my random ramblings in XD.

story snippets & prompts: oh, i love ‘em!! always nice 2 get a new burst of writing motivation ::D

pets: ohhh, cats. i love cats. had one for a while for around a good two years or so but after he injured his paw & we had 2 keep him inside for 3 weeks straight, the flightly lil bugger’s runaway. he (might’ve; still don’t know for sure whether it rly was him or not, but he apparently responded to his name from my mother’s accounts, so :shrug:) came back in the middle of the night a week or so ago now, but idtk whether he’s dead, alive, or js been taken in by some other family who thinks he’s a stray. :sigh:

gardening & hobbies: i don’t garden, and as for hobbies… not much, rly. i like writing fic, i like reading, i like going on (short, i have shite stamina) walks every other day or so, i like talkin w my few friends. like i said, not much. ::)

like being tagged in things: yes, i do! and as for what… anything, rly! tag games, fic wip games, askbox/ask games, im good w ‘em all! ::D

thx for the ask; have a good day/night/timezone!! ::>

[lostfracturess]

nici i’ll have u know i just took two shots of tequila in preparation for this chapter 🤣🤣 and it’s close to 1pm on a tuesday

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE S&C IS OVER 100k NOW THANK U FOR THE NEVER ENDING FEAST QUEEN

“how can u stay so calm?” “drugs, sweetheart. it’s the drugs.”

i cackled so fkn hard 🤣

"Tell me," he whispered, his breath a warm caress against your ear. "Where would you want him to touch you?"

IM CHEWING MY MF KNUCKLES I NEED THIS MAN (or both men) IN MY BED IMMEDIATELY

Geto stripped the rain from his hair, then twisted the dark strands into a fresh bun. His eyes flickered between you and Satoru, a single raised eyebrow his only question. You wouldn't meet his gaze, the floor suddenly fascinating. 

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write 😭 BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

ok i have to stop quoting every other line lmaooo

"Just so we're clear," Satoru's voice suddenly cut through the quiet, "I don't share. Not you."

PLS I KNOW I SAID I WLD STOP QUOTING EVERY OTHER LINE BUT THIS WAS THE NEXT LINE AND IM SCREAMING this is not fun to read while i’m in my fertile window

sighhh the conversation ab the 37 y/o pt passing n how he’s just a statistic now 😭 so heartbreaking yet realistically put

im loving the daddy dom energy satoru is exuding in this chapter i just love when usually flirty/amused men lock tf in when things get serious lol it’s so hot. also so sweet how all he’s concerned ab is her reputation & career ahead

“A familiar ache rose in your chest. You longed to reach out, to bridge the chasm he insisted on maintaining. But his posture, rigid as stone, and his clenched jaw, sent a silent warning. This was his battle, one he'd fight in isolation—as always.”

ughh i feel like this perfectly sums up their dynamic. also if s&c was a paperback book this wld 100% be a quote that readers wld highlight on the page n crop to post on pinterest lmaooo it’s so good

“He was falling apart. But all you could do was watch.”

🥲 pls. stopp im so fragile rn.

NOOOOO NOT SUKUNA BOOO BOOOOOO 🍅 🍅 GIMME FIVE MINS IN A ROOM W HIM RN 💥👊🏼

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down 😭 was it like the jealousy that he wasn’t able to become a successful surgeon like gojo n had to settle on educational matters instead? :”) im dumb sry. ik he’s the root of gojo’s addiction but i think i might be missing something here lol. or do we not know yet

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying🧍🏻‍♀️not saying reader isn’t brilliant n talented in her own right, but for sure, satoru’s attraction to her has given her opportunities that other qualified students were potentially robbed of (we live in a society lol). but idk how exactly she ranks among her peers, so maybe she rly was the best student for the job, but that’s all very subjective

"Because you would do the same," you finally managed, the words scraped raw from your throat. "You would stay. You wouldn't leave me."

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS. im gaspeddd :””(( reader loves him sm and if her commitment to not letting him take all the blame isnt evident enough, her sticking w him thru his drug addiction is truly a type of devotion that comes from a purest point of love

“You—you make me feel things I've spent a lifetime avoiding, things I don't know how to handle. It scares the hell out of me."

ouchhhh 😭 ok but i feel him on this. that avoidant attachment be hittin againnn lmao me n him are so same

"You don't need to deserve me, Satoru. Love isn't about deserving. It's about choosing each other, again and again, no matter what. And I choose you.”

CRYINGG YES 😭😭😭💕💕💕 this healed a part of me ngl

"If you don't come down in the next few minutes, you're the one getting folded, first-year."

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK. omg he called me pretty company 🤭🤭 bye dr gojo im all about them blue collars im sorry 😔🤚🏼

"I love you, first-year. Damn it, I love you. I don't care how complicated this gets, I want you."

god pls 🧎🏻‍♀️ if i’ve done anything good in life, then just give me this man

OMGGG HES GONNA FUCK US OVER THE HOOD OF A CAR ?!??!!?

"You give in too easily." A teasing smile played on his lips. "You don't really want me to fuck you on this hood, right?"

😐😐 this isn’t funny. im not laughing rn. i will not stand this sort of edging. gimme dick NOW

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him. also this is so random and must be my daddy issues speaking lmao but satoru (minus his addiction) wld be such a good family man🧍🏻‍♀️the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol bc i feel like he’s almost always, at the end of the day, right about everything? haha i cld be proven so wrong ab this but i just had to share the thought

mannn im on the second court hearing n im just SO damn curious what is going thru satoru’s head rn 😭 it seems like something switched in there somehow, his demeanor is so different

him actinf so calm rn is scarinf the shit ourta me im ngl🧍🏻‍♀️like bb ur scaring me. PKS IN SO SCARED WHY IS HE SUDDNELY TELLINF US HE LOVES US

ah. and there it is. satoru’s impending fall from grace. i saw it coming from a mile away and that he wld do something like this, but fuck. the way it was written. i thought it would be something that came a place of more heightened emotions from him, something desperate to protect (kinda like in the first hearing). but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

:( im heartbroken rn. amazing chapter 😭💕 thank u sm for writinf it, oh my gosh, jusf amazing

i need more tequila

giiirl!!! not the tequila ahhhhh 😭😭 that brings back bad memories omg.

& yes the story is over 100k already and still no end in sight. i never thought i would write so much lol. but also i'm already so sad when the story will eventually someday end. like i never want to not write about my unhinged neurosurgeon gojo help.

stoppppp okay first of all the writing is eating so hard idk how but w every chapter i just fall more n more in love w the way u write

thank you so so much!! that's such a big compliment coming from a fellow author <3

BUT ALSO DON’t GIMME THE IMAGE OF A RAIN SOAKED GETO or else something ELSE is gonna be soaked out here🧍🏻‍♀️

GIRL 😂 I'M SORRY.

i have sm anxiety over this ethics hearing my palms r actually sweaty. its like i’m THERE rn.

so glad the angst transpires well in this chapter!!!

wait nici can u explain again sukuna’s want for revenge towards gojo n wanting to tear him/reader down

so first: sukuna is an asshole.

second: sukuna is an asshole.

third: SUKUNA IS AN ASSHOLE.

no seriously, how i portray him is like a very power driven man, that thrives on the misery of others. moreover satoru being his lifelong rival and sukuna finally getting a change to push him of his throne is just something he wouldn't let slip through his fingers. so it's really all about power and control on sukuna's side.

also satoru's states in that chapter that he did something stupid in his past that sukuna is still mad about. feel free to speculate, given satoru's past 😂

ok i still hate sukuna’s guts but there is partial truth to what hes saying

yes it is!! satoru really has just eyes for yn and is defensively letting other students down in the process. this just adds to the overall mess their relationship is.

ok “why do you even stay?” sent a chill down my spine but THISSS.

hmmmmmm ahhhhhhh SO HAPPY that these lines landed well <333 love them!! they are so messy and raw ahhhhh

WHY IS HE ALL OF A SSUDEN MR FUNNY MAN NOW PLSSSKDJDJD their chemistry this chap is off the charts

he had a little bit of drugs and was all happy again lol.

FFFFFUCKKK MEEE JUNKYARD BOY CHOSO!!!!????? I BET HE SMELLS LIKE GREASE N SWEAT N SOMEONE I WANNA FUCK.

i was wondering, if i should just do a random character or one of the jjk cast and choso just came into mind at first. idk why but i think it fits ahaha.

omg🧍🏻‍♀️ive no words to say about that smut. delicious, devious, dampening. he is my every fantasy and i desire him. i desire him so deeply

here to serve!! so glad you liked the spicy scene. they are always a pain in the ass to write.

aaa he hurt her in his sleeeeppp 😭😭 for a man that cares so deeply like him that mustve really fucked w him.

YES!!! you're the first to comment on that!!! also thought that this is so so so SO BAD for him. like he would never (physically) hurt her and doing it unintentionally in his sleep??? EVEN WORSE. poor boy must have felt so miserable and angry at himself after.

the way he loves is sooo providing and stubborn to a fault but almost in a way that’s kind of grounding lol

honestly, love your observation about the potential family man side of satoru! his love IS fierce, demanding, and sometimes overbearing, but at its core, it's deeply protective, and i think you're spot on about that being grounding.

but THIS….so calm, collected, so sure of his love for reading that he’s willing to let go of almost everything that has given him purpose in life up until this point. it aches.

so happy satoru's fall from grace hit well!! wanted that choice of his to feel both shocking and inevitable. not a desperate outburst, but this chillingly calculated decision, born out of love. it just hurts so good!

thank you so so much for your lovely reactions to the chapter ellie, as always!! it means the world. also give me some of the tequila lol. sending you kisses and hugs ♡

[jokeson-u]

obviously i want nat to be friends with the entire team (at least varsity) but realistically..... the only people i genuinely see her canonly vibing with pre crash, are van, lottie, mari, and maybe shauna sometimes. id love her and jackie to be friends but obviously that was.. not the case lol, and as much as i wish she and tai were also close, tai was like. a bitch to her thru the entire pilot so i doubt it. but anyways, i think van and lottie have the most grounds. for mari, i think shes kinda a party girl at heart and sometimes shit talks nat w the girls but she treats nat as a friend outside of that. nat thinks its fake asf but she also just figures thats the type of person mari is. shes a gossip. so nat doesnt rly care and mostly thinks mari is cool like at parties and stuff. shauna, nat thinks shes kinda pathetic but in like.. a puppy way. shes so fucking fucked over jackie and follows her around, and she never sticks up to nat with jackie, but she does when its other people. its better than what she usually gets, and shauna is ok to talk to one on one, so shes.. alright in nats book.

but with van and lottie?? lottie backing up nat, running to catch up to her after nat gets pissed, pulling tai away from nat when she was insulting her and telling her to stop, teaming up first w nat at the party (ok thats a bit of a stretch but still). basically i think theyre opposites in obvious ways but theyre both introspective and observant enough to recognize that theres relatabily between them too. i think they basically has a sort of passive friendship. they dont go out of their way to hang out one on one often, maybe naturally do sometimes, but when theyre together, team setting or not, theyre very comfortable. teasing each other and whatnot (like the bathtub scene which is canonically supposed to mirror their pre crash relationship <3). but its really just the moments in between, not a necessarily... consistent friendship? i guess? idk if this makes sense tbh. anyways now nat is sad and mad bc she thought she did kinda know lottie but didnt wanna admit it but after all the shit thats happened she feels like she doesnt know her at all and maybe never did and.. yea.

anyways w van, i got that vibe from their interactions. even after the crash. specifically tho, the gun scene. idk i was def reading into it but. something about the way that nat was habded the gun for the coin test, and everyone was hyping her up, but van looked more.. idk. not concerned, but idk. and she stood up to stand by nat, like she was making sure she was ok. and then she immediately yelled at travis when he was shaming nat. basically i get the vibe that they maybe had a sort of vague trauma sharing bond. theyre not dumb, and w the lives theyve both had they can recognize similarities in other people. prob bonded first over movies and music, hungout every now and the to trade mixtapes and vcr tapes, and then van..... van has a pretty good idea of what happened when nats dad died. prob better than most ppl. all the papers said was that he died from a self inflected wound to the head, but nats told her enough for her to know that arrogant bastard would never kill himself. she briefly thought nat killed him and they just covered it up to protect her but then she remembered who nats mom was and was like.... lol nvm. figures smthn else happened, unlike the rest of the school who jokes about how theyd kill themselves too if they had a druggie slut daughter, etc. van tells them to shut the fuck up. nyways, nat rlllly fucking pushes everyone away and shuts down for a while afterwards but van actually really understands and supports her from a distance. maybe the get a little closer again as the year goes by

[actualbird]

Hi!! The new event is rly fun, love that no one can be sure if anyones innocence but still sticks togeyh we somehow (NXX tru family)

Although honestly the entire time I was doing the new event my brain kept going thru the logistics of the event. Its a special event in a theme park. The same park as the 2nd anniversary event if my memory is right. There's enough space for a fake mini town. For a whole hotel. There's enough actors to form this whole set (at least enough extras) and convoluted setting. How do other participants play once the event goes live? Do they wait for the first group to finish or is it reserved times so there's actually a time limit? How did they get so much space and money to set this huge thing up? Are the tickets horribly expensive then? What is players are too dumb what then? Why am I overthinking this...

Sorry for the ramble in your asks! But have a Happy New Year !! Here's to a better year and more Luke Pearce loving!!

// enduring light event story spoilers

this ask is so funny to me because while mc is trying to solve a murder, ur trying to solve THE LOGISTICS. this is a valid thing to ruminate upon but it also just makes me giggle.

i dont know how they pulled it off either but MAN does it look like a fun time. maybe those pax bucks really just work wonders, imagine, an entire escape room/mystery room but it's a whole PARK AREA. immersion off the charts

thank u for the well wishes!! a luketastic happy new year to you too, anon :DDD

[mcl38]

unpopular opinion but i think carlos would hate lando by now if he had stayed at mclaren. lando was basically matching him that second year and u could see from their quali records that lando had more raw pace. and he's only continued to improve in consistency, race pace, tyre management, etc. since then. like i think the whole "carlando" dynamic would have ended horribly (but funnily for me) if he hadn't left.

hm. im actually not sure abt that

i saw this opinion on my dash literally like an hour ago and like i respect it as a hypothetical, but i just think carlos is the type to swallow his frustrations and play nice for the team as long as the team is being nice to him. (and i do think mclaren wouldve continued to be nice to him) (i have my own biases idk as me abt team orders and u'll get another essay)

so far, mclaren have not been in a position to b fighting for championships, so realistically even if carlos stayed the dynamic wouldnt have climbed that extra step of competitiveness. what would have changed would b - as u rightly pointed out - their teammate delta. they deffo would b way closer (and lando would maybe edge him out) but i dont think it would b the dominance landos had over his other teammates in 2021-2023. carlos has been landos strongest teammate in f1 so far (obvs this is mostly bc oscar is a rookie), and he has a very fun-to-watch talent thats clearly manifested itself since he moved to ferrari: not necessarily to drive the fastest or best, but to get the most points. man's probably one of the smartest drivers out there on track currently (barring his repeated divebombs into car 81 oops) and it rly shows. what lando would have on him in terms of consistency and raw pace carlos makes up for in scrappiness and adaptability.

so thats what the situation would look like in my head - close in the wdc rankings but w different strengths, likely often going for diff strategies and setups. lando 'i have a reputation for getting along with my teammates' norris (actual quote) and carlos, who clearly maintains a soft spot for lando & has had to adapt to a bunch of diff team dynamics with general success, would have to probably actively work at their relationship to keep it amicable, but i think theyd probably manage to do it. if anything they'd get closer than they are currently, which is not that close (mostly bc lando can't golf as much as he used to, they live in diff countries now, and lando struggles to juggle more than like 2.5 friends at a time)

so like yeah. if even charles (who destroyed the competitive psyche of a 4 time world champion with his dimples, tragic backstory, and a well placed monza win) cant make carlos break out of his friendliness (friendly, not friends - yes ive seen the pierre quote going around, yes im also aware he was mostly saying those things as a spiderman-printed band-aid over his intrateam dynamic's massive fuck-off gaping wound) then i dont see how lando could. i think a lot of the way lando deals w the social / human side of f1 is thru what he learned from carlos anyways, so they have quite compatible ways of working thru things. tldr i dont think lando would need to have sympathy for carlos anyways but if he did way that thing to a journo carlos would laughs in spanish and hit him in the balls or smth

[yuukei-yikes]

can we get uhhhhhh some hibiya thoughts

yes. yes. yes. i fucking love hibiya. he's LITERALLY A LITTLE GUY when i got into kagepro he was one of my faves actually cuz he was the closest to my age at the time. i was 13… im 22 now! lol thats not weird at all *eye twitch* sry ive been weird abt the passage of time lately. erm wait this isnt my therapy session <- doesnt go to therapy

HIBIYA. LITTLE GUY. my thoughts on him………honestly, i recently reread all the novels and god his intro chapters were HARD to read. all the creepy stuff abt hiyori yknow. i was cringing so hard. i kinda wanna ignore it bc i'd rather do that with the weird bits kagepro has to offer, but not to get rid of it completely. like id take away hibiyas whole thing abt a collection of hiyori pics but still keep the aspect of him that worships her. and how that dynamic would COMPLETELY go away post str.

post str hibiya is VERY different from how he started out. i mean. 10 year old timeloop…. he hasn't grown at all mentally like he has to process all this with his 12 year old brain, but going through all he did he just kinda looks at things rly differently now. not obsessed with hiyori, for one…. and she's also different to him. their relationship changes drastically bc now they both respect each other LOL listen i know im annoying with my codependent relationship headcanons but… eyes hibiya and hiyori

these bitches are 12. spent 10 years watching each other die over and over and literally die for each other. AND THEN THEY GET EACH OTHER BACK? ERM. yeah theyre NOT letting go of each other. its not so much codependency as much as it is awful awful awful separation anxiety. god are there any fics of hibiya and hiyori going back home and having a breakdown at having to separate and go to their own houses (bc in the city they were living together so it doesnt hit that they need to separate until they go home)???

hiyori would still be kinda bitchy and bossy but definitely not horrible to hibiya. and also her attitude hits different when she's also always holding his hand and refusing to go anywhere without him and throwing tantrums when any of the dan members even imply any activity that would require to separate them. and she wouldnt rly be embarrassed abt it i think hiyori would be super open and vocal abt HIBIYA HAS TO BE WITH ME ALL THE TIME !!!!!! and hibiya isnt even flustered hes just like *NODDING NODDING NODDING* bc he's the same with her. girl… SEPARATION ANXIETY HIBIHIYO<3 mekadan so sick in the head <3 they have 78 undiagnosed mental illnesses <3

not to make it abt my future headcanons of psych major hibiya but. new generations man. hibiya is 10000% the one in the dan going like GUYS WHAT HAPPENED TO US WAS SOOOO MESSED UP and everyone's like lol yeah !!!! and he's like DONT LOL ABOUT THIS IM FUCKING SERIOUS??? especially since he's such a fucking outsider to everything like everyone else's been experiencing all these tragedies since they were born and he just kinda. had a normal life before? and like i said NEW GENERATIONS MAN THEYRE PSYCHOANALYSING THEMSELVES AND EVERYONE AROUND THEM…. the dan is so used to this shit that they kinda lmao rock and roll thru it and hibiyas like NO. NO. NO. EVERYONE. THERAPY. NOW!!!!!! it becomes his special interest he starts getting all into psychology and when he comes back to the city for his visits suddenly he's diagnosing everyone with stuff and the dans like *shaking* MAKE THE KID SHUT UP also realises he has separation anxiety with hiyori and works on it. hiyori is surprisingly the one most terrified of letting go. and like i said…. 10 year long time loop being processed in a 12/13 year old brain.. hibiya is SUPER self aware. he makes sure of it

ok and. heh. haruka. THE WHOLE HIBIYA HIYORI AND HARUKA THING COULD BE ITS OWN POST… SO… IM LEAVING IT HERE CUZ THIS IS ALREADY SUPER LONG but im just gonna say. hibiya's IN DENIAL of konoha being gone. he keeps expecting haruka to go away. hibiya THINKS he's super mature, and he is for his age bc of all this shit and his willingness to understand his problems and everyone else's. and everyone else also think he is mature, but this is just something he can't stop being a 12 year old about. his friend is gone! WHY does it have to be gone!?!? especially in an ending where hiyori is back. if she wasnt, then he'd be more accepting of the losses bc there were 2 both konoha and hiyori and like it becomes another whole thing abt letting go and mourning but if she is back…everything is supposed to be perfect!! everyone made it back!! why couldn't konoha? why does it have to be gone? its not fair! he doesnt care this haruka was the body's true owner!! konoha was his friend! it also deserved to live as much as this haruka guy!!! why is HE more important!!!?!?!?!? and he just. he's just insanely immature abt it. and he knows he is but truth is he's just really fucking sad and regretful about konoha being gone. i could also talk about hiyori and harukas feelings abt it but heheh yeah this is super long. erm. hibiyita el chiquito <3 hibiya throwing a tantrum in front of the whole dan abt how it isnt fair and how he wishes haruka would just die. LMAO. he is 12. if anyone has fic commissions open Eye eye

also erm wholesome one before i end it. he makes little miniature dolls of the whole dan<3 he's BAD at typing on his new smartphone but since he lives away hes always texting in the gc<3 he gets super into mobile games<3 amongus fan hibiya asking all his grownup friends with jobs and no time for amongus if anyone can play with him<3 they do bc theyre busy but there will always be time to amongus with friends<3

[kuromi-hoemie]

🌻

lol it being completely open ended to talk about whatever i want, i went on a tangent (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) I'm putting it below the read more

i think.. it'll be funny, how when i move and finally say goodbye to this city, people on here who don't know we're in the same city will probably think “what that's where u lived?? why didn't you say anything sooner!!”

buddy i have been here for 8 years and completely lost faith in everyone here, this is a uniquely terrible area with somewhat friendly but extremely impersonal people and i don't care for it or anyone in it anymore!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't want someone to change my mind, I don't want to suddenly find what I'm looking for; I learned a lot professionally and about myself and life in general while living here but its time is up, the people here suck compared to literally every other place I've been to lmfao. I'm sure there's a few gems out there but they aren't worth what it takes to live around here.

when i was trying to figure out where i wanted to move next, I was going to give this place another year since that would arguably the best opportunity I'll have to enjoy it if i move somewhere cheaper (I've had a long complicated journey here).

but then i really thought about it, and being here — trying to chase happiness feels like swimming upstream towards something that's forever just out of reach. and then i thought about the city i decided I'll move to next, and there are so many people there who are always really happy to see me and always inviting me to stuff. and it's not just me, but they're all rly chill with each other and hang together too.

and it felt silly to think of suffering through another year here. why should i fight so hard to find what's already waiting for me somewhere else? life does not need to be this hard and i don't have to suffer another year here actually ✋🏾😭

very cool that i have some mutuals in the area who don't know this yet, but I'm not trying to spend an hour+ in traffic and have to pay to park just to hang out with them lol. wish i knew y'all like a year and a half ago but it's too late for me to really get attached to anything here.

there's literally (1) thing i care about in this city and it's the best friend i have. and being completely real, i love her very dearly but if i felt supported enough as i need from even one person here i wouldn't feel the need to leave. we talk thru text Sometimes very briefly, mostly to just send stuff to each other and ask about hanging out, and we hang like once a month or 1½ months.

like.... this is as good as it gets? 😐 there might be something better but it's going to take a significant amount of time, effort and frustration to find. and i just... do not think it's worth the effort, actually. sometimes taking the easier path is the correct choice.

I've made so so so many friends here that have all fizzled out. everyone I've become friends with will speak to you once a week or two or three maybe. MAYBE!! And it doesn't matter if you sent 1, 2 or 10 messages, it's not just a matter of where you are sending those messages, it doesn't matter what you are talking about or what you may need, you are just not hearing back from them. i could die here right now and no one would even begin to think something might be wrong with me for god knows how long, if ever.

so like. idk. i am extremely over this city and could not be convinced to stay. I'm the kind of person who needs to be talking to 2 or 3 friends every day, i need to be in one or two small but active group chats with people who are dear to me, I need to hang out at least twice a week at one of our places, i wanna go out to something together every two weeks at least.

it just seems like if i move somewhere where people take it a little slower and are more personal, I'll be able to get back into that kind of life i miss. it's so fucking easy to feel like the problem is me somehow until i drive like 25 miles away from here and suddenly the difference is like night and day (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠) like oh i don't suck actually, and I've become much more sure of that over the past year-ish i guess, but the problem still remains and i just have to suck it up until i leave.

also yeah I'll name drop it while I'm at it lol DO NOT MOVE TO SEATTLE 🙅🏾‍♀️ no one here drives, most people hang out in the pay to park/HEAVY traffic areas and everyone here is friendly but VERY very impersonal. if what you want is someone to hang out with every once in a while and to live a hermit lifestyle then it's probably perfect for u but if you want to meaningfully connect with your friends you are swimming upstream here do not do it. this city SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this is the most trash ass city I've ever been to and I've been up and down the west coast and to other inland states!!!!!!!!! this is not normal!!!!! you people are not normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! people from here get pissy when you bring up the Seattle freeze but it's real actually you guys do suck supremely and anyone from any place with even a shred of warmth between people in its community can tell you that, and i can say that bc i remember how often I'd be willing to say hi back to people when i took public transit and they'd immediately clock that I'm not from here because No One wants to talk to them otherwise.

i don't know wtf the deal is here but i don't need to navigate it or fight it 🚶🏾‍♀️ I'm just moving to the kinda place you can both live and work in, which is what all the other places I've lived at have been like. I'm sorry y'all live like this and think it's normal, but i don't think locking yourself away for weeks at a time not talking to anyone because of depressive episodes and always feeling lonely is like.. normal.. it's not. and you genuinely do have a lot to be fairly depressed about, and so do i tbh and i fight it so fucking hard but I'm just removing myself from this 😶‍🌫️ good bye and good luck.

[mithliya]

I've been thinking lately about the women on here who claim that any woman who thought she was a lesbian and later realized she was bi was deliberately lying. I think it comes from a place of fear about being wrong about their sexuality. But that pressure and stigma they put out into the community about being wrong makes it harder for women who were wrong about themselves (in any direction or way...thinking you were bi but you're straight, bi but lesbian, lesbian but bi, etc) to come forward about it. And then I think that only makes their fear about being wrong even worse and perpetuates more of the nastiness.

Yeah, there's a chance that I'm wrong about being a lesbian and one day I will wake up and be attracted to a man I guess. I don't believe it will happen because I'm secure in my sexuality and don't take it out on others. But even if it did, it wouldn't make me a bad person and I also still wouldn't date a man because bi doesn't mean you have to date men. I'd just have to admit I was wrong and that can be hard but we don't have to make it harder. No one is perfect and the world can make figuring this all out harder because we don't live in a vacuum where sexuality, which should have no stigma attached to it and no oppression or privilege, is not a neutral thing in reality.

agreed with u here. we need to make it normal for ppl to admit to when they were wrong about their sexuality, instead of making it like a public spectacle and assuming the worst. im not saying there weren’t cases where ppl were simply lying, im sure there was, but there’s also cases of ppl genuinely being confused. i identified as bi for like 3 years (tho i was quiet for the first year, wasn’t sure how i felt about men throughout & for like the last year of it i was rly thinking that im actually a lesbian but wanted to be sure before i said anything) and it wasn’t some kind of malicious act. i wish sexuality could somehow be visible at times or sth so that we could know for a fact and never be wrong especially bc it’s so persecuted and doubted by homophobes & others but the reality is there’s nothing to really “prove” that kind of stuff. our sexuality is more or less internal and our understanding of it will change depending on our own thinking and awareness. this makes being wrong about it pretty possible. i run a lesbian-only server and there were many women who would have sexuality crises or would realise they’re bi (most were still young so it makes sense. i think it makes sense to be bi but feel so strongly about women that u only notice feelings for men between ages 18-22) and i talked to some of these women for years. iirc all of them have never been with men and didn’t realise they felt anything for them until a certain point. it can be scary esp when u confidently thought u were a lesbian for years and it’s difficult to accept as well after you’ve already gone thru the process of accepting urself as a lesbian. i believe they were honest about their situation and didn’t secretly know or sth. they were just young & inexperienced & that can happen. what matters to me is that the person who previously misidentified as a lesbian doesn’t then claim they “used to be a lesbian” or that sexuality can change. being mistaken is ok and shouldn’t be treated w such scrutiny & suspicion on here. instead being honest about it like that should be encouraged

[kil9]

re: the taemin thing (sorry im so annoying about this but i feel you wanna talk about it as much as me!). i wanted to mention his blinking habit too, but as someone who is not autistic myself (not diagnosticated at least lmao) i was afraid it was just me making assumption but you noticed it to so!!! cool. anyway i could say many more things but the line between being just a strange little dude and being a strange little autistic dude is so thin!!! (like the fact that he eats random stuff at unlikely times of the day or that he's so forgetful). ANYWAY!!!!!! i just really love him and how shinee adapts their behaviour around him to make sure hes comfortable

YES ur never annoying i absolutely wanna talk abt it forever 🥺🥺

(this got kinda long so im putting it in the readmore lol)

but yeah the blinking habit for real !!! ur definitely not wrong to pick up on that ! (i even sponged it from him sometimes lol x_x) its cool that non autistic ppl have an interest in this stuff tbh :3 i think that more ppl understanding autism and all the weird specifics of it is rly the key to our happiness ykno 🤔because most non autistic ppl know literally. jack shit.

also the eating thing YEAH 😭😭 thats also so autism to me. shinee is so good to him !!!! u can tell that even if they dont know WHY he is the way he is, that theyve figured out how he works and how to treat him....

there was such a moment in the 15m thing when key was asking taemin to "prepare" the veggies... and taemin got such a look of dread where hes like "what...... wdym.. ?" & kibum has to be like "CUT THEM taemin" lol 💀💀 its such a silly moment but its SOO quintessential to me for both what its like to be autistic (ie: what the fuck are u saying to me "prepare" this. as if im supposed to know what that means), and what its like to be close with an autistic person (kibum having to kinda remember to "translate" what hes saying for taemin so he knows what hes talking about, it reminds me of how my partner is with me sometimes 🥺)

also back to when im saying they probably dont know why he is the way he is, even if they know all his ins and outs, i think this is probably the same for taemin 🤔 he strikes me as someone who prob doesnt know hes autistic, just knows hes "weird" and "different" and has figured out how to live like that despite. reminds me of myself kind of, cos i wasnt "diagnosed" (used loosely) until maybe 19 ? which is still young but at that point i had already been thru school and everything not knowing x_x its definitely possible to figure your life out & how you work without a diagnosis, and i think it happens all the time, but its also really really hard. i think having a name for it and something u can actually research & learn about is rly helpful. so even tho hes like 30 now im still kinda always hoping he realises 🤔 if it makes his life that much easier ykno ?

this is also why it pisses me off so much that ppl get THAT up in arms when this is brought up. ppl act like falsely "accusing" someone of being autistic will ruin their life, when really its basically harmless (obviously unless ur directly using it as an insult). even the opposite might be true 🤷‍♂️ someone can rly benefit from realising about themselves. also why im so pro self dx !!! even if everyone is "misdiagnosing" themselves these days (🙄 which prob isnt true anyway) like. whats the worst that could happen ? why does it matter if someone is wrong... they might still find some info that will help them 🤷‍♂️ theres not really any autism "resources" that are in scarcity so i dont rly care if someone thinks they are even if theyre not ?