#not really but that’s the tag I started using for collecting lyrics | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

helloalycia · 11 months ago

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𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐓𝐎 [𝐓𝐖𝐎] — 𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐘 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐃

summary: as your relationship with Lucy Gray grows, it becomes a little harder to keep it a secret from your dad, especially when Mayfair has something to do with it.

warning/s: mentions of minor violence and the Hunger Games obvs.

author's note: okay so the song mentioned in this part and the next is called ‘forever & always’ by zeph, which i chose for the lyrics, not necessarily the rhythm as it’s not a folk song. But i did imagine it in a more lucy gray-style, so i thought it worked! plus it’s a really good song and i’ve tagged it below if you wanna have a listen :)

one / three / masterlist / wattpad

Being in a relationship with Lucy Gray was all I could have dreamed of and more. Of course, it was a complete and total secret from my father, who could never know I even befriended the girl let alone dated her. It meant sneaking around was a regular thing for us, to my dismay, but she didn't seem to hate it.

I was visiting her home one Saturday, hoping to spend some time with her since it was a lovely day. Even if it meant helping out the Covey with some chores or simply rotting away inside, I didn't mind as long as it was with her. But she seemed to have other plans when she answered the door and kissed me hello.

"I was just about to come get you," she said with an excited grin. "I have a date planned if you're up for it."

I quirked a brow curiously. "Oh, really?"

She curled her fingers between mine as she nodded, humming. "Best part is, your daddy won't find us neither."

i couldn't help but laugh at the prideful expression she wore. "That sounds perfect, Lucy Gray."

And just like that, she grabbed her guitar case and a basket before leading me into the meadow behind her house.

"You gonna tell me where we're headed?" I asked her, taking the heavy guitar case from her hand as we walked.

"This one has manners," she teased, making me nudge her in the arm as she continued, "To the lake. I got a whole day planned."

We chatted about everything and nothing as we strolled through the woods. Having grown up in town and having no need to visit the meadow or woods, I was a little unfamiliar with it all. But I knew that I felt at ease immediately, finding the scent of the earth and the view of the trees and ripples of sunlight peeking through the leaves to be refreshing. Lucy Gray reminded me of it all, I soon realised, of nature, and it only made sense why she put me at ease, too.

We soon reached the lake, which she'd told me about many times, but it looked even more beautiful than she was able to describe. She wasn't wrong about my dad not finding us here, that was for sure.

After setting down her guitar case in the cabin beside the lake, which she told me was nobody's in particular but the Covey used it when they were out here, I watched as she grabbed a cloth bag from the basket and led me outside.

"You ever been foraging before, darlin'?" she asked with an amused smile, already knowing the answer.

"I have not," I said, somewhat entertaining her teasing.

"Then we can start there," she said with a girlish grin, before tugging me by the hand into the trees.

Through vast experience and knowledge, she knew all the spots to take me to then showed me which plants were edible and which weren't. We collected a bunch of edible roots in our cloth bag, conversing in between, and I was growing accustomed to nature as we worked. Personally, I found it was an activity made even better because of Lucy Gray, who was as radiant as the sun was as it shimmered down on us. She looked so carefree, and I couldn't stop stealing glances at her.

"Oh, Y/N, come here!" she called to me as I was picking some berries from a bush she'd confirmed was safe.

"One sec," I said, tying off the bag, before heading to Lucy Gray not far behind me.

She was kneeling down into some taller grass, before glancing back at me with a delicate smile. Waving me over, she returned her attention to whatever was in front of her, and I had no choice but to kneel beside her. As soon as I saw the snake coiled around her right hand however, I fell back onto my butt reflexively, startled.

"You're okay, she won't bite," Lucy Gray said between a chuckle, resting a hand on my leg and meeting my eyes. "She won't harm you if you won't harm her."

I swallowed thickly, trusting her words but also still very much scared of the brightly coloured snake before me. This was normal to her, as evident by her nonchalance and intrigue when handling the snake, but the opposite for me.

"Lucy Gray, I don't think I–"

"You trust me?"

I blinked, eyes glued to the snake, as if it would come at me if I dared look away.

"Hey, sweetie, over here," Lucy Gray coaxed my attention away, and I relaxed slightly when I saw the way she smiled at me. "You trust me?"

"Of course I do."

She nodded. "Then come here, slowly. I promise she won't bite."

Knowing it was awfully embarrassing to look so terrified before something so small in front of someone I liked, I sucked up a breath and kneeled beside her again, though not letting go of her left hand which was still on my leg for assurance.

"They're harmless," she said softly, admiring the snake as it stretched up her hand. "I love 'em because of their bright colours."

"Naturally."

She chuckled, glancing at me sideways. "You're doin' good."

"Uh-huh..."

Again, she chuckled, before lowering her hand into the tall grass and watching as the snake uncoiled itself before shooting away. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding as Lucy Gray helped me stand up.

"Thanks for not runnin' away," she said appreciatively. "I know snakes aren't everyone's thing."

I shook my head. "It's okay. I'm scared, sure, but they're not that bad with you."

Her smile widened and I wasn't sure what I said to make her so happy, but she kissed my cheek and began to walk away. I followed after her, eyes acutely aware of any tall grass around us now, until we reached the lake yet again.

After grabbing some fishing rods from the cabin, we sat at the edge of the dock and cast our lines, hoping to catch something good for an afternoon picnic. I'd never been fishing before, so Lucy Gray was, expectedly, much better at it than I was, catching a few small fish that wouldn't be filling on its own. It wasn't until I felt a tug on my line that I grew hopeful, eyes widening.

"I think I've got something!" I exclaimed, before standing up to get a better grip on the rod.

"Pull back and gently wind the rod," she encouraged brightly, standing up too.

I did as she said, but whatever I had was a strong swimmer and pulling me forward slightly. So much, in fact, that I almost stumbled over the edge and into the water, making me drop the rod completely to catch myself.

"That was close," I said with a racing heart, but knowing I'd need to somehow collect the rod now.

"Can't you swim?" Lucy Gray asked with a mischievous smile, and that should have been my first hint.

"I can, but I wasn't planning to get my clothes–" I didn't even get to finish because all she had to do was nudge me slightly and I lost my footing, falling straight over the edge and into the lukewarm water.

My first instinct was to swim upwards, head resurfacing as I spat out the water from my mouth and wiped my eyes. Lucy Gray's laughing caught my attention, and I raised my brows with disbelief.

"Seriously?!"

"You had to get the rod somehow," she joked, and I shook my head disapprovingly before grabbing the rod that was floating beside me.

After Lucy Gray accepted it, she surprised me by jumping in next to me, still fully clothed, and splashing me in the process. Again, I wiped my face and narrowed my eyes at her as she resurfaced, eliciting more laughter from her.

"Oh, c'mon, it was funny," she tried to defend, swimming up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. "Plus, don't you feel nice and refreshed now?"

I sighed, unable to stay mad at her when she was grinning at me so carefree. "I suppose so."

She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to my lips. "Knew it. Now let's stay here for a little longer then I'll catch us a real fish and we can start on some dinner. Sound good?"

I nodded in agreement, and we did just that. It was fun to just be able to swim around and do nothing but enjoy each other's company. My heart was full as Lucy Gray filled the forest with her laughter. Between the terrible jokes I told and her contagious happiness, she was just so bubbly, and I couldn't blame her because I felt the same.

She ended up catching a big enough fish for the both of us and, using the roots and berries we picked earlier, we cooked up a lovely little bit of dinner to share by the water. I'd eaten some pretty good food, by District 12 standards anyway, thanks to my dad's job. But this was truly the best thing I'd ever eaten in my life, no doubt because of the company also.

Just as I finished rinsing our plates off in the lake, I heard Lucy Gray leaving the cabin with her guitar case in hand.

"Come here!" she called, waving me over.

I left the dishes to try on the basket before joining her where she was sat under a tree, pulling out her guitar.

"Am I about to get my own private concert?" I asked playfully, raising an eyebrow.

She rolled her eyes, though a smile ghosted her lips. "I'm startin' to regret this."

I chuckled, crossing my legs and getting comfortable opposite her. "No, go on, I'm all ears."

The truth was, I'd never get tired of listening to Lucy Gray sing, and to have her sing just for me would be a downright honour.

"I actually wanted to show you a song I was workin' on," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I haven't finished it yet, but I was just too excited to show you and thought today would be perfect. I hope you like it."

It took me a second to realise that she'd written the song for me, and my playful nature subsided momentarily. "Wait, what? A song for me?"

"Well, duh," she said with a laugh, before strumming her guitar gently, tuning it. "Remember, it's not finished, so be nice."

Still surprised she'd written a song for me, I could only nod in response. She strummed for a few more seconds, trying to settle on a pitch, before clearing her throat.

"Love songs are fleeting,

but the melodies stick with you.

I have learned your heart,

and memorised the tune.

It's my favourite,

I'll sing it in any occasion.

It'll be my soundtrack,

beyond our youth..."

I was entranced by her voice, the softness of it and the way it carried towards me like a siren to a sailor. She was always beautiful, but when she was singing, it was something else entirely.

The tune played aloud as she strummed gently with her fingers, and her eyes found mine, a brief smile on her lips before she continued to sing.

"Every note you hum,

is a classic through and through.

I'll add them to a list called

'All Things I Look Forward To'.

It's my favourite,

even if no one will play it.

I only want a future

filled with you..."

She strummed a little longer, a delicate tune that was a little different to her jauntier tunes she performed at the Hob, and then she left her last note hanging and finished. My heart was suddenly racing, in a good way, and I was embarrassed by the tear that escaped my eye, rushing to wipe it.

"Well, gee, was it that bad?" she joked, but I still felt the need to shake my head quickly.

"No way," I told her, meeting her eyes. She was more nervous than she was letting on, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. "Lucy Gray, that was beautiful. Is that really how... how you feel?"

Her cheeks turned pink and she avoided my eyes with a shy smile. "Of course. The song's not finished, but I wanted you to hear it. To know that you mean a lot to me."

I nodded slowly. "You mean a lot to me, too. Nobody has ever said such heartwarming things to me before, let alone written them into a song for me. I'm honoured."

Her smile relaxed as she met my eyes again. "I'm glad you liked it."

My heart wouldn't stop beating so fast, not when she was sitting right there, making me forget the world existed. I couldn't stop myself as I leaned forward, taking her bottom lip between mine.

Nobody had ever made me feel the way she had, and though I'd never truly experienced it before, I decided that this had to be what falling in love felt like.

There was no other word for it.

"... and I thought I liked the colour, but it just reminded me of that time she threw up on my favourite shirt."

I blinked, trying my hardest to care about what one of my classmates was telling me over a drink at the Hob. How I'd ended up in a conversation with him was beyond me, but it felt rude to just walk away.

"Hey, isn't that Billy Taupe with your girl?"

At this, I tuned back into the conversation, confused. Following my classmate's gaze, I saw Lucy Gray standing by the bar, drinking from a glass of water and trying her very hardest to ignore Billy Taupe, but he was adamant on speaking to her. I would have left her any other time, knowing she could handle herself, but she'd mentioned recently how he'd been annoying her and trying to make things right despite being in a relationship with Mayfair. And because of this, I approached them calmly.

Lucy Gray spotted me and relaxed a little, but if Billy Taupe noticed me, he didn't acknowledge me in the slightest.

"Lucy Gray, can we go somewhere private?" he asked her desperately.

"Why would she do that?" I answered him, quirking a brow.

He glanced at me sideways, irritated. "It's none of your business."

"Hey, don't talk to her like that," Lucy Gray scolded him. "This is over, Billy Taupe, now leave me alone."

"It's not," he retorted.

"I'm saying it is," I told him in a warning tone. "Now go."

Scoffing, he finally turned to look at me. "Don't you have some whorin' around to do?"

Before I could even register his words, Lucy Gray slapped him sharply across the face, surprising even me. I opened my mouth, taken aback, as he widened his eyes and touched his face. He looked from me to her, and as soon as his expression contorted into a scowl and he took a step forward, I didn't think, I just shoved him backwards so he couldn't hurt her. That was probably the second mistake from the two of us, as he immediately stumbled back into someone with a drink, making them drop it.

"Oh, shit," I mumbled, before grabbing Lucy Gray's hand and making a beeline for the exit.

In no time, a fight broke out and the once calm, lighthearted atmosphere of the Hob turned into a violent, rough boxing ring. After some shoving and avoiding the odd swing, Lucy Gray and I successfully managed to make it outside unscathed, away from the rowdiness.

I was bent over, catching my breath, as I witnessed several peacekeepers nearby rushing in to break up the fighting, and then I looked over at Lucy Gray questioningly.

"Did you really have to slap him?"

She straightened up, having caught her breath. "He doesn't just get to talk to you like that."

I sighed, a reluctant smile on my lips. It was nice of her to defend me, but starting a fist fight wasn't on my schedule for the evening. She began to smile too, the two of us amused with what just went down, but our happiness was short lived when Mayfair came out of nowhere, spotting us.

"There you are!" she shouted angrily.

I swallowed hard, losing my smile. "Mayfair, look–"

But before I could sweet talk my way out of it, she was already yelling for the nearby peacekeepers to get us, and there was no way for us to escape this time.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek as my dad paced back and forth, his anger threatening to burst out. Stupid Mayfair and her stupid big mouth. Because of her, Lucy Gray and I were sat before him in his office at the peacekeeper's base.

"Witnesses say they caught you both arguing with Billy Taupe," he finally spoke, stopping to look at me with a disappointed stare. "Then all hell broke loose."

"It wasn't her fault," I defended Lucy Gray, not wanting her to be punished because of my father's irritation with me.

"What the hell were you doing there, Y/N?!" he asked. "You're supposed to be at home! It's–" he checked his wristwatch, "��almost midnight!"

I avoided his eyes awkwardly, trying my best to sound believable. "I just wanted to hear the Covey perform and I knew you'd never let me go. It was only tonight. But then I saw Billy Taupe harassing Lucy Gray and I stepped in. Just tried to do what was right, like you taught me."

Okay, maybe a little on the nose, but it could work.

He sighed deeply, shaking his head. Deliberating momentarily, he finally said, "Go home, Y/N."

I raised my brows. "Lucy Gray too, right?" He narrowed his eyes warningly, but I continued, "Dad–"

"Now," he ordered in a voice that meant I wasn't to argue.

I glanced over at the quiet Covey girl beside me, and she nodded reassuringly.

"It's fine," she said in a low voice. "Thanks."

I frowned, feeling guilty, but was forced to obey my father and leave. As I closed his office door behind me, I lingered for a few seconds longer.

"You should stay out of trouble, Miss Baird," he told her authoritatively. "We don't tolerate–"

"Y/N, c'mon," my father's second in command found me listening, stopping me from hearing the rest of their conversation.

I nodded reluctantly, hoping Lucy Gray wouldn't be punished, and followed the peacekeeper outside.

My dad hadn't uttered another word about the Hob incident when he came that evening. I was waiting for him to yell at me or punish me or something, but he didn't. it wasn't until the next morning, after half my night was spent thinking of Lucy Gray, when my mum told me I was grounded for the next month, only to leave the house for chores. School was finished for the summer now, so I wouldn't even be able to see my friends and Lucy Gray that way.

It was annoying, especially because I just wanted to check on her, but I couldn't exactly fight my punishment when I was caught red handed.

That same morning, my mum forced me to accompany her to the markets to pick up some things. I was lucky enough to see Y/BF/N hanging around, also buying some things, and subtly slipped away to see her as my mum asked about some carrots.

She instantly pulled me in for a hug, mumbling, "I was sure I'd never see you again. I heard what happened last night."

"It wasn't intentional," I said with a sigh. "But I'm grounded for the next month, so you won't be seeing me much."

"Y/N, you've gotta be careful," she said in disapproving voice. "No more sneaking around. You're lucky it was just a fight and your dad didn't find out everything else."

"I know, I know," I mumbled, glancing over my shoulder to see my mum still talking to the vendor. "I should get back to my mum. She might kill me if she sees me doing something other than helping."

Y/BF/N tried not to laugh as she nodded. "Good luck, Y/N. I'll see you around. Please, try not to get an extended punishment."

"Yeah, yeah."

By the end of the first week of my punishment, I couldn't take not seeing Lucy Gray anymore. So, I concocted the perfect plan to visit her on the way back from nipping to the markets for my mum, sneaking a detour to her and the Covey's place in the Seam. I could always use the excuse that there was a queue at the meat stall if my mum asked why I took so long.

After buying everything I needed, I headed straight for Lucy Gray's, anticipating seeing her. I hoped she wouldn't be upset at me, though I wouldn't blame her if she was, considering my father was the one who had punished her. Or, at least I was assuming he had.

When I knocked on her front door, I held my breath until she opened up. As soon as she realised it was me, she exhaled deeply before pulling me in for a hug. I returned it instantly, closing my eyes and savouring her presence.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't see you sooner," I said quickly. "I've been grounded and I wasn't allowed out. How have you been?"

She shook her head. "It's okay, I've been okay. He didn't do anythin' when you left, just yelled at me a bit then sent me home with a warnin'. I think he was just annoyed at you."

I frowned, but was relieved she didn't get the brunt of it. "Good. I mean, not good obviously, but it could've been worse."

She cupped my cheek, thumb rubbing gently on my cheekbone. "I'm sorry you got caught. It was Mayfair. She's still pissed at me and now you by association."

"It's not your fault," I told her, taking her hand and kissing it gently. "Have they been annoying you still? Her and Billy Taupe?"

"Not since then, no."

"Good," I breathed out with relief, before hugging her again. "I can't stay for long. My mum will be expecting me back. I'll try to visit when I can, but I won't be able to sneak out for at least another month."

She chuckled quietly. "It's okay. Try not to get in trouble, darlin'."

I cracked a small smile. "I'll try."

My punishment ended quickly enough and everything returned to normal, kind of. My dad had bigger fish to fry with work, and seemed to forget about my mishap at the Hob, so his suspicions of me disappeared and I was able to sneak out again sometimes. My mum was satisfied after my punishment and didn't suspect a thing afterwards.

I enjoyed another few weeks of my relationship with Lucy Gray before the energy in District 12 grew rotten once Reaping Day arrived. It was the tenth annual Hunger Games which meant a boy and girl would be chosen to fight to the death with tributes from the other eleven districts. It wasn't a happy time, for obvious reasons, and it was the worst part of the summer break. It was a slim chance of being picked, but a chance nonetheless, and all I could think about was who would be chosen.

The morning of the reaping, my parents pulled me into a group hug at the breakfast table, and I couldn't help but hug them back.

"I'm praying for you," my dad mumbled as he kissed the top of my head.

I smiled a little, hoping to reassure him, but I knew it wasn't genuine. It was a hard time for everyone today, but I always pitied my parents the most, knowing if I was chosen, they'd have nobody left and, somehow, the thought of leaving them alone was scarier than facing the Hunger Games.

My dad left sooner than my mum and I, needing to make sure all the peacekeepers were doing their job in the square where I'd be lining up soon. And then after my mum and I finished eating, she walked me down to take my place. After exchanging a final hug with her, she went to join the other parents in the crowd and I was left to find my place with the other sixteen-year-old girls.

Before I could even attempt to, Lucy Gray found me. I was going to ask her how she was, even wish her luck, but I didn't get chance to as she approached me with a determined expression before kissing me hard. I accepted the kiss, though when she pulled away, her hard stare met mine.

"I'm in love with you," she said the words we'd never uttered to each other before.

I widened my eyes, surprised, but a peacekeeper broke us up before I could reply, and we were separated though in the same line. Of course, it soon made sense why she'd chosen now to tell me how she felt.

She was chosen as tribute.

It all happened so quickly after that. Lucy Gray's name being chosen, the snake she threw down Mayfair's back, the mayor slapping her onstage and in front of the cameras, her song of defiance, and then her getting ushered into the Justice Building never to be seen again.

She was really gone. She'd been chosen to participate in the Hunger Games, which clearly had something to do with Mayfair, and I would never see her again unless she won. I could barely believe it, still in shock, even when the reaping ended and everybody began to disperse or rejoin their families.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry," someone said, and I turned to see Y/BF/N approaching me with a frown, pulling me in for a hug.

I was admittedly still in disbelief – denial if you will. Because she couldn't just be gone, not when she'd told me how she felt only minutes ago.

"Y/N!"

It was my dad. Y/BF/N pulled away as he found me, soon taking her place. Again, I was too awestruck to return the gesture. Lucy Gray. My Lucy Gray. Gone.

"I'm so glad you didn't get chosen," my dad said with relief. "I'm sorry about your friend, but I'm glad it wasn't you."

His words only bounced off me. I was too numb to acknowledge much more after that, stuck in my own head as my mum appeared and began to lead me home. I was quiet the whole way, trying to replay the events that had just happened. Only when I reached home and went to my bedroom did I finally realise all I'd lost in a single moment. And that's when the tears finally arrived.

How could she be gone?

I was swinging on the swing gently, next to Y/BF/N in the park. I appreciated her company, feeling a little better having someone who understood the severity of what Lucy Gray being gone meant to me.

"She might have a chance," I muttered with a broken voice. "She could hide. Wait it out."

"Maybe," Y/BF/N said softly, but I knew she didn't agree. It didn't matter though. Hope was all I had left at this point.

Since yesterday at the reaping, I couldn't help but think about what Lucy Gray was doing. Was she scared? Was she strategising? Did she stand a chance against the other tributes?

Fucking Mayfair and her jealousy was the cause of this, it had to be. Why else would Lucy Gray throw a snake down her dress? It meant she must have known. It explained why she told me she loved me before going in. She'd discovered Mayfair's plan. Why didn't I tell her I loved her too? Now she'd never know.

"Do you wanna go to the Hob tonight?" Y/BF/N asked as I continued to sulk.

I shook my head. I wasn't sure I could ever go to the Hob again, not when it held so many bittersweet memories of Lucy Gray and I. It was where I'd made my first move on her, where I'd watched her perform many times, where we'd shared our first kiss. How could I step foot in there again without seeing her everywhere?

After spending some time lost in my thoughts with Y/BF/N to keep me company, I left to go home for dinner. But before I made it there, I found myself making a detour for the Seam, where the Covey lived. I hadn't spoken to them since before the reaping, and if I was taking Lucy Gray's fate hard, I could only imagine how her family were feeling.

Only after I knocked on did I realise I had no idea what to say. What if they didn't want to see me? Or if I said the wrong thing? What if I–?

"Y/N," Barb Azure said once she answered the door. "Hi."

I swallowed hard. "Hey, Barb Azure. I– I just wanted to stop by and see how you were all doing. I'm sorry for not showing up sooner... I'm so sorry about Lucy Gray. And I just want you to know that I'm here if you–"

She suddenly hugged me, and I was glad because it said more than words could. I relaxed into her embrace, feeling comforted in our shared grief. I wasn't alone, even though it felt like I was at first.

"I'm sorry too," she muttered apologetically. "I know she meant a lot to you. We're here for you too."

I nodded, squeezing her tight.

#lucy gray x reader #lucy gray baird imagine #lucy gray baird x reader #lucy gray baird #rachel zegler #the ballad of songbirds and snakes imagine #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #the hunger games imagine #the hunger games

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kuwdora · 1 month ago

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Saturday Morning Vid Recs - FEELINGS & THAT DYNAMIC

Alright, here is yet another post for @poetikat of vids from days gone by and the recent past. I love and adore the vids. I think people should watch them for a much-needed boost to the heart and soul.

I’m calling this collection of recs FEELINGS & THAT DYNAMIC (capital letters!) because of how big and immersive the emotional experience is while watching them.

❤️❤️❤️❤️

I Gotta Feeling by CountessMary. The Muppets (The Muppet Movie, The Great Muppet Caper, Muppets Take Manhattan, and Muppets in Space). A throwback to the dance club party Club Vivid 2010. Tonight’s gonna be a good night!!!

Uptown Funk by @revolutionarygirlshati (Legend of Korra). An incredible addition to the uptown funk canon of vids!! Korra is so damn expressive!

C’mon by rhoboat. Inside Out (2015). C’mon, c’mon with everything falling down around me, I’d like to believe in all the possibilities. Perfect song and lyrics for this film. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ So many big feelings.

You Told the Drunks I Knew Karate by @settiai. Doctor Who. Amy/Rory. This is the first vid I think of when I think of this pairing, I can’t get enough of it!

For Your Entertainment by such_heights Legends of Tomorrow. Again there is something exquisite about using this song for this source. Legends of Tomorrow is so cracky and bizarre. This vid made in the earliest seasons of the show while it was airing and fucking nails it. The legends truly are here for our entertainment, bwah.

Groove is in the Heart by giandujakiss. Doctor Who/Torchwood up through 2007. This is an oldie for sure but it’s so firmly embedded in my brain that this song now exists because of this vid. The vibes of the song is really wonderful and fun. Nine and Ten, Rose and Martha and Jack Harkness and Torchwood and friends and lovers. I love how it transitions from Nine to Ten and Torchwood and back again to Doctor Who.

True Love by @findmeinthealps. Cobra Kai OT4!! This vid is such a treat because it is a tapestry of slash and Johnny and Daniel’s love for their partners throughout and and and. They all just fit together, okay. One big karate family. Each section of this vid is more delightful and full of LOVE than the next.

Take On Me Doctor Who by @trelkez. Doctor Who, classic and New Who through 2010. I heartily rec all of trelkez vids, and especially all the Doctor Who vids. Picking this one out for this list was a no brainer. There’s just something wonderful about A-Ha being used for the partnership and adventure in this show. The part at 2:01 always makes me grin because trelkez has a great sense of musicality and humor.

Garden of Your Mind by @sandalwoodbox. Critical Role, Dungeons and Dragons. This is about storytelling and imagination. AND it utilizes a really cool remix of Mr. Roger’s voice. It’s so beautiful and I cry lots about it because I’m a sap and it’s really that powerful.

Life Less Ordinary by di_br / @why-the-face. Doctor Who. Nine/Rose. Di’s vids were my go-to when I started vidding back in 2007 and I was obsessed with all her Doctor Who vids. It turns out I still am obsessed. This vid makes my heart so warm and fuzzy and I absolutely have to rec this one after all these years because the Nine/Rose feelings are off the chart and span space and time.

I Do Adore by @kiki-miserychic. Adventure Time. Princess Bubblegum/Marceline. This is another oldie, and also for a show I've never seen but always been a fandom-in-law. This vid is so, so so sweet and sapphic and shows me exactly why Bubbline was so beloved.

Carries On by @monkeyswithjetpacks. Jim Henson and The Muppets. This vid brings the big cry about, too. It’s a wonderful tribute to Jim Henson and his work. I really love the music choice here which is The Magnetic Zeroes and there’s such a wide array of different sources from behind the scenes and the muppet shows. It is so beautiful.

Previous Saturday Morning Vid Recs:

Video Games

Women!

Space and Robots

Animals

Follow the tags to keep up with recs this fall:

#saturday morning vid recs

#kuwdora vid recs

#kuwdora recs

A guide I wrote for commenting on fanvids:

How to Leave Feedback on Fanvids

#saturday morning vid recs #kuwdora recs #kuwdora vid recs #vid rec #recs list #vidding #fanvid #fanvideo #fanvids #fan video #fan videos #fan edit #video edit

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enlitment · 4 months ago

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Books tag game time! Thanks @marcusagrippa for the tag ✨

Last book I read: Jean-Jacques Rousseau's Confessions

Confessions... not going to go into it in this post. It's a wild ride for sure. But if you're interested in mental health (issues) in the 1700s, it's a fairly interesting source material.

Book I recommend:

I've recently finished Carlo Ginzuburg's Cheese and Worms. It's an absolute classic! It's also a fairly quick read. I'd recommend it to anyone who's curious to see how modern historical research doesn't have to just be about famous kings or medieval battles (or if you want to read about an unhinged oddly progressive 16th century Italian miller. Menocchio is the best and I adore him!)

Book I couldn't put down:

That usually happens with murder mysteries, since I want to keep reading until I find out what happened. One of them is Umberto Eco's The Name of the Rose (also a classic, and definitely an interesting spin on the genre),

the other is Stuart Turton's The 7 1/2 Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle. Nothing to do with history but it's so unique and so good! The best way I can describe it is that reading it feels like playing a video game, in the best way possible. It also opens up some interesting philosophical questions at the end. I've been (unsuccessfully) trying to convince my friends to read it for a year now 🙃

Book I've read twice:

I've read a lot of books multiple times for my final high school exams, but the two I know I've read twice for reasons unrelated are Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange (I rant about it any time I get a book ask, so I'll refrain from it here) and George Orwell's 1984 (I was obsessed with it in my early teens for some reason).

There are a lot of books I loved in my teens that I would be curious to read once again, to see if my perception has changed. It did happen for 1984 and Hamlet, so it would be interesting to see if it's the same case for other works as well!

A book on my TBR:

Gosh, so many. But one is Plutarch's Parallel Lives! I'm so curious about it but still haven't gotten around to actually reading it. I've only read short passages so far and I want to fix that! (Though good news is my grandparents actually have a copy in their library so I'll just snatch... um, borrow it at some point)

A book I've put down:

It used to happen quite a lot, but ever since I've started basing my reading on Tumblr... no okay, in all honesty, I've put down C. S. Forester's Hornblower and didn't get back to it for years. Although I love the tv series, I just couldn't get into the book. But I still kind of want to give it a go at some point in the future.

A book on my wishlist:

I've been obsessed with the Introducing Graphic Guides recently and I just want to collect them like Pokemon cards!!

They are very digestible and so, so good! I read one on Rousseau and Machiavelli, I bought one on the Enlightenment which I'm saving as a treat, but I need Žižek as well... and Foucault... and Romanticism...

A favourite book from childhood:

I know there recently was a movie that was... not good, but I loved Philip Reeve's Mortal Engines. It was this sort of steampunk-esque fantasy book which had a really interesting female protagonist. I mean I'm only just now realising how subversive it was that the main heroine was fairly unlikeable and very flawed but still someone you were meant to ultimately root for?

There was also a parallel about social darwinism – the world of the book had cities flying in the skies that were devouring smaller cities, robbing them blind and enslaving their populations. The governments had a flimsy quasi-philosophical justification for all this, but the heroes of the books were fighting against the status quo. Looking back, I still think the series was pretty cool!

A book you would give to a friend:

Recently borrowed Émilie du Châtelet's Discourse on Happiness to my friend after she went through a break-up. I'm hoping É's words of wisdom might help her!

A book of poetry/lyrics you own:

Catullus (a Czech and an English translation) of course!

I've also recently bought Ovid's Letters of Heroines in a second-hand bookshop and I'm looking forward to getting into it.

A non-fiction book you own:

A fair amount of biographies of old white dudes, to the surprise of noone...

but to give a little more interesting answer, I do own all the books by Jon Ronson. He's a British journalist writing about current issues and I find him to be both really funny and really insightful!

His books about the psychiatric industry (The Psychopath Test) and modern-day ostracism (So You've Been Publically Shamed) are especially good and I'd recommend them to everyone!

Currently reading:

Voltaire's biography - Roger Pearon's Voltaire Almighty. It may not be a prefect academic source, but his writing style is great and I'm really enjoying it so far!

I'm also on-and-off with Hilary Mantel's A Place of Greater Safety. I think I'll save it for once I start uni again.

Planning on reading next:

Denis Diderot's The Nun! I'm super curious because it sounds like a really interesting book for understanding sexuality and gender in the enlightenment era.

tagging @chaotic-history @my-deer-friend @theghostofbean and @iron--and--blood ! No pressure of course ✨

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cuubism · 3 months ago

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13 books

What’s up readers?! How about a little show and tell? Answer these 13 questions, tag 13 lucky readers and if you’re feeling extra bookish add a shelfie! Let’s Go!

Tagged by @softest-punk. whoops. this is from April 😅

1) The Last book I read:

I've been rereading Narnia and I recently finished book 3, almost finished book 4 too. It's honestly delightful. I hadn't read them since I was 10. I've got portal fantasies spinning in my mind now though. Prince Caspian was giving me thoughts. There's a universe where there will be a Dreamling portal fantasy, if I get to it.

2) A book I recommend:

A recent read I really enjoyed was Journey by Moonlight by Antal Szerb. It kinda called me out on all my worst impulses though.

3) A book that I couldn’t put down:

Entire Stormlight Archive series. It fed my poor, starving, "needs excessive levels of enrichment" brain. I'm on the last one, I don't know what I'll do when I finish the series. Wait for the next one? Goddammit.

4) A book I’ve read twice (or more):

I don't reread books that often, other than Narnia I guess, but with that one it's been so long it's not really rereading anymore. I don't have a huge amount of time for reading so I'm more often reading new things.

5) A book on my TBR:

Recently I've been thinking that I want to read more Borges... I even had a dream about it last night 😂 wherein I was back in university taking a class on South American literature, except the class was in Spanish and I don't speak Spanish so really not sure what that was trying to tell me.

6) A book I’ve put down:

I dropped Wolf Hall halfway through although I'm hoping my brain will come back to it. I just got kind of mired in it and lost track of what was happening like 15 times 😂 maybe audiobook-while-doing-manual-labor wasn't the medium for this one... though the audiobook narration is great.

7) A book on my wish list:

I've been moving around at least every few years since college so I'm not really "collecting" books atm and don't have a wishlist of ones to own... The closest thing would be like niche media studies books from university that are barely in print that I want copies of XD considering how often I'm looking it up I should track down a copy of Jerome Christensen's book on studio authorship which was actually foundational to my conception of the systems and structures that mold storytelling, especially in the US.

8) A favorite book from childhood:

I was a Warrior Cats kid 😎

9) A book you would give to a friend:

Normally if I'm trying to pawn a book off on someone else it's because it's super cursed and I want them to experience it too 😂 an example: this published Obama & Biden fanfiction that I actually own

one of my weirder possessions to be sure

10) A book of poetry or lyrics that you own:

There are many, but the one I'll always keep is my signed copy of Night Sky With Exit Wounds, even though it took me like 7 years to read it, because I'm slow at reading sometimes.

11) A nonfiction book you own:

They are mostly all media studies--a great one is Listening In by Susan Douglas which is a history of radio in the US.

12) What are you currently reading:

I always have a ton of books laying around the house that I'm "currently reading." When I remember they're there. Primarily right now it's Rhythm of War (Stormlight Archive 4) and House of Leaves. And Narnia of course.

13) What are you planning on reading next?

I should probably finish The Tatami Galaxy which I started a while back and then forgot about 😂 it's just sitting there neglected. More generally want to read all the random books I already own so I don't have to lug them all with me the next time I move.

woof, this thing is actually so long no wonder it took me 4 months to fill out. tagging @magnusbae, @arialerendeair, @beatnikfreakiswriting if you even want to do this many questions 😂

#tag games

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unhinged-comics-screaming · 8 months ago

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⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ Weekly Bravern Madness Post ₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺

Episode 11 Spoilers ahead, naturally

I'm actually on my second watch since we found out our water heater is leaking so that was a whole thing so not quite first impressions but that's literally me screencapping every scene and screaming so probably better this way

Okay important things about me to consider for my lens as I go through this

I think Isami is so so so cute. I'll probably make a cute Isami screencaps post as a separate thing. His gap moe is so cute. I love his stern face. I think Smith is great too but I love the focus reshifting to Isami. Anyway. He's so cute

In terms of Smith as Bravern I guess I view it as the reverse too? I don't really know how to explain it but I guess in Japanese there's tags for Smith + Isami (Sumiisa) and Bravern + Isami (Braisa?) and in my head it's all Sumiisa. Like he may look like a giant robot but he's still Smith, if that makes sense.

Second watch bonuses: realizing why she reacts this way at his mention ;-;

Right away, I guess I got my beach episode! I love that Isami and Lulu have Bravern brand summer clothes. I hope they come out as merch. It comes up rarely eg. the boxing shoes from ep 5 have the (Burn?) Bravern specific emblem on them and I just think it's so cute. Like yeah Bravern probably printed them just for these instances and I wish we got enough show to see it in action.

I actually got so emotional at the end of episode 9 when the OP starts playing without the lyrics and this showing up with the ED music is phenomenal. Extra delicious that it starts with part of the full version of the ED that's not in the normal ending.

I also love this because the other two emotional moments where it's like, starting something but not completing it are the after boxing scene and when Isami is crying into Lewis' shirt (okay this can easily be assumed to fill out as "I wanted the two of us to save the world together" but what else did you want to do with hiiiiim). The shipper mind wants to fill it in with some love confession and then!!!

After the like, back and forth name stuff (which parallels the Lulu + Superbia fusion) I was like, pre-emptively bracing for some kind of goofy baiting/played for laughs thing but no he goes for it!!

I actually have a collection of any instance of Isami with any amount of coloring on his cheeks and I've been lamenting that the only full blush moments are when he gets the asian flush drinking but aaaaah so cute. Also he looks so young here! He's 24 he should be falling in love!

Also I'm like, actually really impressed about this scene technically because It's just a really good looking turnaround animation. With Bravern he's 3D so whatever but isami looks good from every angle!

The artist who adds the extra effects like bloom and color tweaks on scenes occasionally tweets out their before and afters and I really hope we get this scene where they point out they added plush, kissable lips onto Bravern.

I reblogged a post about it but I do really love that Isami isn't like, disgusted or pushing him away or anything. Not even grateful Lulu interrupted it. Maybe he's actually disappointed she interrupted.

I know it sets ups the symbolic washing away of it but in case there was any ambiguity to the nature of this love:

There's some discussion across japanese twitter about how you're not supposed to do some line in the middle but based on some cursory stuff I'm not sure how common that thought process is. Also Bravern isn't that much of a pro in Japanese culture (even a lot of JP twitter was confused at his proud "This is OMIAI!").

If you aren't involved in Twitter, a comment people like to point out is that they specifically hired a Food Coordinator for this episode lol. I took a bunch of caps of it but between this and Isami's "we need to eat to be strong enough to save everyone" talk I need to do my Dunmeshi + Bravern food as strength and love post.

Anyway I'm obsessed with the fact that Bravern doesn't need to eat but actually has a mouth which reminds me of this tweet my sister brought to me

Naturally, his mouth is for kissing, Among other things.

Okay honestly the food bit is so weird I was kind of worried the entire first half of the episode turns out to be a dream sequence.

I need to set this as my desktop background or something. I think it's really cute that they added/implied that Isami and Bravern are now a cutesy couple rather than Isami being all weird about the love confession.

THIS! Is the point in the post I realize that watching while typing these up leads to me just doing a play by play which isn't really much of anything. I promise the rest of the post isn't just as long even though we're only halfway through the episode.

(Hey, timeskip OP here. This might be a lie)

Lulu + Superbia symbol! It's cute and has a really nice mix of being similar but opposite in it's own way.

I am obsessed with Segnitas being too lazy to fight and honestly I think he's so cute. The interrupting the fusion is kinda expected for a a show with every bit being in universe but it's still a good gag. I'm glad he is around to make commentary until his true death.

I kind of expected the Bravern + Superbia fight to be an episode 2 thing but I guess we won't have the time for that given the end of this episode. Triple shoutout to my Wednesday post by having the "You can get fulfillment from living!", seeing a callback to Lulu's kick and basically having an awesome fight.

Okay ending time. I have a lot of thoughts but one of the ones as I was watching was just.. He can't eat but he can bleed (and cry)? Actually considering that he explodes it's probably oil or something. Like obvs he isn't going to explode into purple triangles like everyone else but oofda. I am all sorts of sad about this but one thing that gets me is that Bravern doesn't even die fighting! It was a stealth attack!

There's some theories that Isami has a change of heart too fast and this might be another time loop, which I think would be on brand but man his reaction to Bravern dying is too much there's at least no way it's because of a Bravern dying bad end. Actually, I wonder if the damage to Bravern's core is worse than we can tell? Lulu bad end looks way worse though. Or maybe hypothetical Isami time travel route is -> they don't fight Superbia -> defeat one more death drive -> Superbia realizes he doesn't get his warrior death -> he takes on the last Deathdrive 1v1, dies -> remaining DD dies somehow but Superbia is still gone -> Isami goes back to save him for Lulu (they can't risk double time looping her?) -> doesn't ever experience Bravern dying so this is new and terrible.

In this case, Ira is acting unpredictably specifically because they do the no-kill route with Superbia. He's evidently super disgusted and I wonder if it's because its the peaceful resolution between the two? Otherwise I'm curious why else. Actually in general I'm curious why everyone is so personal with Bravern but I think we've all been asking that.

I think some people mentioned it on Twitter but Lulu very casually mentions her time travel lived experiences so it would be weird if they didn't know Bravern himself enabled it. Like I mentioned in my other post. He literally can't take on two giant mechs without Bravern and he knows for sure Superbia can't take on someone.

It's interesting that Bravern has different final words in this timeline than Lulu bad end but he also probably never had that stargazing scene in that route. Actually, you know what, I think Lulu bad end he does know it's Lulu because I don't think Isami was there for the specific curry scene we saw. He's still crying, naked in Bravern during that. Unless he just talks about Japanese curry all the time where we don't see.

Smith's last words are specifically "Brave Bang" (yuuki bakuhatsu) vs Bravern's "Brave Burn" and I'm basically Pepe Silvia-ing it up trying to figure out what it means. It's not really a direct confession about being Smith (because he's still a coward in that regard) but maybe it's a secret move/activation considering the moves are in English?

I think any kind of extra finale speculation requires its own post but that's my thoughts!

hm. Sorry. Maybe I should get into writing fanfic so you at least get something out of this

#bravern spoilers #can I use the no beta we die like fools tag on a poorly done essay #I didn't even really analyze the episode tbh #11/10 it's good thats all you need to know #the first best time to watch bravern is as its airing for the theorizing #the second best time is now

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wellhalesbells · 7 months ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @piratefalls! Yay, wasting time - I've been doing so much of that today and thank you for giving me another way to! (Seriously, I would've just been watching more Youtube compilations without you.) That's probably why these answers are so long. Procrastination? Wellllll don't mind if I do!

How many works do you have on ao3? 154

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,280,205

What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily Teen Wolf and Harry Potter. HP was my original homeslice and I kind of sharpened my teeth on fic-writing in general there, found what I liked and didn't like, how to engage with fandom, what I found attractive and what turned me off (for characters and plot beats), honed my craft and made my mistakes there and then with the advent of AO3 and the finding of Teen Wolf, I feel like I blossomed and built a home and am hopefully making fewer oopsiedoosles. Though I have also written a fic or so for: Hannibal, The Meg, Mr. Robot, X-Men, Star Trek, and Breaking Bad.

Top five fics by kudos:

There's Monsters at Home, Sterek, Teen Wolf. (15,285)

Time to Eternity, Drarry, Harry Potter. (8,416)

Option C) Some Bad Guys are Werewolves, but Not All Werewolves are Bad Guys, Sterek, Teen Wolf. (7,759)

Of Bananas, Babies and Buzzkills, Sterek, Teen Wolf. (5,134)

Instructions for Dancing, Sterek, Teen Wolf. (5,099)

Do you respond to comments?

Not anymore. Occasionally one that asks a direct question I'll answer, if that answer isn't already somewhere on or in the fic.

Though the last one I answered was someone who didn't read my tags or notes, telling me I didn't warn for something that was in the tags and notes, and I was so polite, like, "How can I make this clearer?" instead of saying, "#!@%^&$@$@#^$%&$^&^&$%^@#$%" like I fucking wanted to and they then said: "Oh yeah, I didn't read any of that, guess you don't need to change anything." Which was exactly what I expected would happen and I took the time to answer because I want more than anything to teach that person a lesson, even though I am absolutely certain they learned nothing from the interaction. But I tried, I did my part, and I wasn't even an asshole about it. (Please, please, please, the amount of times I've been told in the snarkiest damn fashion to tag for something that is already fucking tagged...... like, how do I have to say: read the tags before snidely chastising me for what isn't in them?? And it's not like.... I used different language or anything, they will ask me to tag for the EXACT DAMN TAG already on the fic. My collection of these comments is genuinely getting out of hand.)

And there is one I kind of want to answer that I got in the last month or so because it's one of the nicest and most vulnerable things I've ever been told but there aren't enough letters, or strong enough ones, or big enough ones to hold all the gratitude and care that wants to pour into them so I just... haven't.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hrm, I think these are just the most obvious of those and if I actually had to sit with this and go through my catalogue of fic, I would come up with a way more off-center answer because the angst is much subtler but harder hitting but that sounds like it would take brain power and, wow, is it that late already *coughs*

Either I Smoke My Friends Down to the Filter or But the Mess Prevails. I think maybe the latter because it's kind of triumphant in ISMFDttF, Stiles stands up for himself, but in BtMP they both want to be together but it's just another way for Derek to punish himself if they are.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Similar caveat to the one above as I'm not really focusing on ending (because more brain power) as much as just happy overall. Either [Hilary Duff Lyric Redacted] or Instructions for Dancing - they are both just fluff bombs almost entirely from start to finish.

Do you get hate on fics?

Mostly no. There's one fic that I have comments turned off on (THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS FUNCTION, AO3, 10000000% THIS FIC WOULD NOT STILL EXIST IF NOT FOR YOU) because people would yell things at me I already explicitly stated I agreed with? Like I wrote a fic for a fest (back when I wrote in a lot fests, lol), it was a dark prompt and I can't remember if the prompter wanted a happy ending or if it was a stipulation of the fest that it couldn't end badly but it's a dark prompt so while I could get the two characters to the point of co-parenting, I did not get them back together. And the comments I mainly got were: how dare you get them the fuck back together? To which I was like: um, I didn't, also if I was forced to keep going with this fic, this character would end up with this one instead. And then I got a deluge of comments that were like: how dare you get them back together!? And for a while, I explained that you read into it, which is understandable as - to satisfy whomever's requirement - it is an impression I wanted you to walk away with, but as you'll notice at no point are they back together or romantically involved again, they're in the same room and have reached a ceasefire, that's it. And that's as friendly as I see that relationship getting, and no one read any of that and kept yelling at me for the same reason and mentally I was like: fuck all of you, either the fic goes or I do so I turned off the comments so I wouldn't delete it. I find since commenting is off (or "hidden" rather, I can still see it and have the option to approve or nuke it), people have to really engage with a) what I've already replied before and b) whether or not it's worth it to leave a review that will literally only be seen by me. Suddenly everyone has reading comprehension and no one is just yelling to yell because the only one you're engaging with is *jazz hands* me, and I am obviously not the audience for that.

Do you write smut?

Yep!

Craziest crossover:

I have a Hunger Games/TW one that is one of two unfinished fics on AO3 because every time I even think about it, it intimidates me. And since I don't read crossovers, I have no idea how you're supposed to do them or how much of the other IP you can take on without it seeming like you've just rewritten with different characters or how much you should change when everyone knows what you're working from anyway - it's all a mystery to me and I am flummoxed by it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

People post my old HP shit that no longer exists on the internet to Wattpad quite a bit and I am not savvy enough to figure out how to get it down. The few times I've contacted people who posted it under my name to take it down, instead just remove my name and fully pretend it's theirs. On some, I've found the people on LJ who have saved the fic in question and are giving it out and quietly asked them to stop because they were ending up as stolen fic on Wattpad.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, many!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Em and I have started one but never finished - it's me, I'm Mr. Ambrose: "I start, I don't finish things."

All time favorite ship?

I think it's Stiles and Derek, man??? I don't know, I have a lot of niche ones too that I feel like if there were more content/interest, they would be it but there isn't sooooo....

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

That THG/TW fic - it scares me so much. Like, who was that confident girl who didn't understand things at all and was like: yeah, that's fine? Don't know her. PvW - I have a lot written in the future and for the next chapter, plus an outline, it's just a matter of getting my attention to stay on it and I have the next chapter of WDHGsGA written and an outline for the next two, I just don't want to post it until it's totally finished so I don't have to worry about losing the atmosphere/tone again and, again, I just have to get my focus back to it but the chances of me letting that writing go totally down the drain? Unlikely.

What are your writing strengths?

Um, I think I have a good understanding of how humans work. I think writing is definitely made a lot easier when you have a handle on the psychology and a gut sense for people. It's not hard to craft fake scenarios when you have a pretty decent understanding of how people would react in them.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Grammar-wise, commas throw me completely. I have no idea where they're supposed to go and I do my best, okay?! I really only got Florida public school education on this and it was: wherever you feel like you should have one, do that.

More generally, I also feel like I don't have the same needs to satisfy as a large percentage of readers - I need a relationship at the core of a fic to feel significant and weighty to want to write a story about it, but that doesn't mean it needs to survive to the end of said fic or that characters need to hit certain relationship milestones for it to feel worthwhile to me. I think this sometimes leads me to endings that some people feel are unsatisfying because I got what I needed but maybe some readers didn't?

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Totally neutral. Doesn't bother or thrill me to any extent.

First fandom you wrote in?

Harry Potter.

Favorite fic you've written?

Favorite? That's hard. I'm, as mentioned, super shitty at finishing things so the fact that TMaH is completed - even without going into any of its content (all of which is made to order, absolutely my favorite stuff) - makes it a top contender.

I also still really love A Fine Foray into Fashionable Fellatio, the last Harry Potter fic I wrote, which was Draco/Ron. I love that to kick my brain into gear, I would start mentally painting the scenes, from oranges and reds to beiges and cool winter blues - I don't know I've ever used color so much in anything. It hasn't worked since and I think it's because - having been away from those characters and that fandom for so long - I had such a crystal clear image of them and because Draco, especially, was so different from how he's usually pictured in fic/fanart (curly-haired, absolutely swank as fuck Muggle style) that the lines were so defined it was easy to paint within them.

And I think my favorite writing piece right now is He Speaks in Petals. It's such a short fic and I reread it in the last year or so and it's so much more lyrical than I remember. I knew that was what I was going for and I did not think I managed it but it's got some really soft, kind whimsy to it that I like a lot and find very calming and reaffirming.

No pressure tagging @kikiroo, @rosieposiepuddingnpie, @literaryoblivion, @yodas-yo-yo, @clotpolesonly, @callunavulgari, @andavs, @i-sveikata, @alocalband !

#sterek #drarry #dron #teen wolf #harry potter #my writing #meme #meme answers #thanks for the tag kel!#i probably talked way too much on here but like...... i really am just a ball of DOING NOTHING on my couch today soooo

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clairedaring · 6 months ago

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Shuffle your on-repeat playlist and then list the first ten songs!*

*any playlist on any platform will do!

Thank you Kat @troubled-mind for tagging me (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ). I've been itching to share new music. 'new' being new to my playlist though, most are old releases.

1. Your Call (อยู่ที่เธอ) - TYTAN

I want you to think and reflect Who do you want more in your life? Without him, you seem to be doing fine But without me, you’ll be okay right?

as expected, i like this song so bad i even made a gifset for solely self-indulgent purposes... it's just crazy see how much TYTAN has grown since his Waterboyy days. I feel like this song was the starting point of me finding every songs i liked recently linked to MingJoe from My Stand-In.

2. ชายคนหนึ่ง (Just A Man) - Bodyslam, Clash, Potato Feat. ก้อง สหรัถ, โดม ปกรณ์ ลัม, ตู่ ภพธร

I’m just a man who wants to look after you and be concerned about you, that’s all I just want you to still have someone worrying about you, I’ve never wanted anything else You don’t have to give me anything in return I’ve never wanted anything else

I AM WEAK FOR SONGS ABOUT UNREQUITED LOVE. i first heard this song like seven years ago in Secret Seven The Series but the obsession with it has come back in full force since i recently watched a lakorn starring the original artist of the song (Peter Corp) and there's this scene where he plays this song on the guitar to the female lead... oh i was a goner. (original by Peter Corp)

3. วัดปะหล่ะ? (TEST ME) - 4EVE

Open your heart to know each other a little bit, yeah (like this) Then you will see someone that your heart is searching for

this is a popular song that came out a few years ago but i recently fell in love with it when i heard it used in the trailer for a thai film 'My Boo' starring Bow Maylada, Gee Sutthirak and Thanaerng.

4. อยู่กับฉันฝันถึงใคร (Who are you missing?) - Nine Kornchid

When you are with me, who are you dreaming of? When we're close together, who are you missing? Just a faint shadow. There is no way to own your heart. Why do you still keep me around? Whose substitute do you consider me as? Can you just answer me clearly? The reflection in your eyes, am I the person whom you are looking for.

as expected of a person who's deeply in her MSI era, of course the OST is on repeat. the lyrics though like I AM CHEWING GLASSES.

5. บินเข้ากองไฟ (Flying Into the Flame) - Big Ass

Oh, heart, remember their face They're the same person who once hurt you Enough already, don’t let them hurt you anymore Enough is enough, my heart, why love them? The more you love, the stupider you get, the more torturing it is, you never remember (enough, heart) We’ve been more than sad enough already, why love them? Nothing can be as evil as a heart hurting itself The more it loves, the more it’s hurt (remember that)

this song i actually first heard from Kidnap! pilot trailer but i never looked up the lyrics until recently and god it is so MingJoe coded. this song is a nice monologue talking to the heart and asking why it keeps falling in love, even though it knows it’s only going to get burned. like the inability to get someone out of your heart and still loving someone even though they've hurt you so bad before ಥ_ಥ

6. เพียงพอ (Just Enough) - Potato

If I had you, I would never need to reach for anything else It wouldn’t stir up troubles, anxieties just stopped, and I’m more confident than before Since I had you, I know my needs have ended No need to aspire for anything more, just this is enough Every day, to just have you, regardless of anything, I’d be satisfied

watching The Believers on Netflix really sent me down a spiral of listening to Potato (a Thai rock band). I love this song so much because it's a refreshing addition to Potato's usual collection of 'unrequite love, breakup' songs.

7. Kẽo Cà Kẽo Kẹt (The Creeking) - Hoàng Thùy Linh

I inflect every syllable so that my name goes down with history No matter how much vilification and mockery I have to endure, I’ll stand up against them again I inflect every syllable so that my name goes down with history No matter how much agony they pour on me, I’ll survive, no matter how many times they do that From dire ramified a sprig of nectarine Verdant foliage shrouded the entrance Amidst solitude, I squawked shrilly

i've been on a spiral of listening to old music i love so i'm sharing this mini commentary i made on this song a while back.

so 'the creeking' is based on tấm cám aka the vietnamese ver of cinderella. specifically, the part after vietnamese cinderella (tấm) was murdered by her stepmother & sister, she reincarnated into a bird, but then got killed AGAIN and she reincarnated into a weaving loom (insane, you just gotta read it, after she became a weaving loom, she got BURNED and she reincarnated into a freaking tree). but the simple gist is, when tấm reincarnated into a loom, the loom kept making noises to threaten her step sister as if to remind her step sister of the evil deed she did to tấm. the creeking may at first glance be a simple retell of this part of the story in tấm cám but it also parallels directly with hoàng thùy linh's life story. from the mire (the excessive hate train from her "scandal" when she was a minor and victim of revenge pornography), both hoàng thùy linh and tấm rose up to put their name down in history. ending the song with the statement that they'll survive no matter how many times evil forces (the press/media) try to bring tấm/htl down. the creeking is just such an empowering and feminist anthem like i cannot stress enough. hoàng thùy linh is currently going through her 2nd hate train rn and i honestly wish her the best bc i fully believe she'll make it through this cycle of vilification again.

i truly love this song because even though hoang thuy linh is more popular for her tiktok hit see tinh (sped up) aka ting ting tang tang, her first full album Hoàng is literally a masterpiece full of songs based on Viet culture/folklores. THE viet pop album of the decade for me tbh.

8. I LOVE U - MANBO ft. NAMVEE

viet hiphop hasn't been on my rotation for a few months but i always trust manbo to deliver a good rap on a pop rock beat.

youtube

9. Building Outside The Building - TNT

while TNT is known for their youthful, hopeful, lovely music, it's these hard hitting songs that makes TNT music so attractive to me. cpop having better hard hitting songs than kpop these days is killing me. wishing i could steal all the cpop demos and send them to my fave kpop bgs.

youtube

10. Ponytail (KR version) - VANNER

my list of music recommendations can never be complete without a glitter gel pen song. THIS GLITTER GEL PEN BSIDE. petition to ask kpop boygroups to opt their glitter gel pen songs to be their title tracks more often.

no pressure tagging @weizhiyuan @poonmitpakdee @uppoompat @sherrymagic @supanuts

#you've got tagged #really in my thai rock era again #but old thai rock #dramatic ass lyrics about loving someone you shouldn't love #YES #GIVE IT TO ME

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possum-quesadilla · 5 months ago

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New ‘Time is a Flat Circle’ chapter is up, which means more details under the cut! The universe set out to kill me before I finished this chapter but it was unsuccessful

Chapter six:

- This chapter’s title is a continuation of the lyrics from the first chapter, which is again from “The Heroine” by Unwoman. Beetlejuice actually has to start facing and feeling all of the emotions and hurt from the loops!

- “She didn’t even get a “I sure hope it does!” To her “Road work ahead?”.” Lydia is, of course, referencing one of my favorite vines here. She forced Beetlejuice to watch a compilation right away so he could understand more of her jokes.

- “It had a strange metal lining she was sure wasn’t there before.” … “Yeah. Iron impedes ghosts. Duh.” This is all based on info that was told to me about an odd door in my great grandmother’s house that was lined with iron. A family member told me it was to keep ghosts out, and that “iron stops ghosts, obviously”.

- “Sweaters from Aunt Kerry” A fun little nod to Barbara’s original actor, Kerry Butler!

- “… as she stepped on something soft, squishy, and uneven,” This was his tail! That’s probably why he yelled so loud.

- Another note: I forgot to point out something that will not really be directly addressed from chapter five! “Adam heard a rythmic thumping noise from the demon that he wasn’t quite sure of the origin of.” This is from BJ’s tail hitting the ground repeatedly, like a cat’s does when it’s angry. I’m sure he’s glad it was too dark for them to see it!

- “Lydia! My best friend, my pal!” And “Lydia, my homeboy, my rotten soldier,” Are a reference to a line from What We Do in the Shadows that I quote way too often.

- “The pair of them stood out like horseshoe crabs in a freshwater environment,” This is a line from my favorite youtube series, Bigtop Burger. Check it out if you like dead little freaks like Beetlejuice.

- “The plain white shirt that said “human babies are mysterious and I don’t trust them” and the bright red long-sleeve that read “God won’t let me die”” Based on real thrifted clothing I’ve seen posted online and really, really want

- “He was even absentmindedly chewing on one of the plastic tags.” Haha, I do that.

- “hammer space” Is honestly a bit more accurate than ‘pocket dimension’, since he uses it mostly for comedic effect.

- Beetlejuice wants to watch Edward Scissorhands because he likes to see movies that make “monsters” sympathetic. He wants to watch The Princess Bride because he wants to see a happy ending.

- “a black leather notebook. She had many like it, and like all the rest, this one was unused. (They’re just too perfect to start using, y’know?).” This is taken straight from what many of my more artistically inclined friends do. The journals are only collecting dust, bestie!! Use them!!

- “Ah. He wants me where he can see me. Probably all screwed up from his mom and stuff.” As my notes so eloquently put it, “WRONG GIRLIE HE HAS PTSD FROM THE STABBING”.

- “He was cut off as Barbara grabbed him by his tie and tugged it to force him to look her in the eye.” Barbara discovered one of his tells for lying! She will exploit it ;)

- “… her Dead Mom could never pick between ‘Annabel Lee’ and ‘The Masque of Red Death’.” These are two of my absolute favorites! They are just so romantically macabre, I sometimes read Annabel Lee out loud to my cat to calm him down. Emily did the same for Lydia!

- “fleece tie blankets she had made for a charity drive. When asked by Beetlejuice why she still had them, she sheepishly replied that she kept forgetting to drop them off until it was too late to do so.” Based on something my favorite elementary school teacher did.

- “but it was perfectly splendid.” This is a reference to The Haunting of Bly Manor. Mike Flanagan’s work greatly influences my writing, so I wanted to put in a little nod to his most amazingly heart-wrenching series. <3

- “She was a sucker for a happy ending.” This is a reference to the Heathers musical, where a character expresses a similar sentiment towards the movie. Shout out to that soundtrack for getting me into musicals in the first place!

- “… he leaned down and bumped his head against Lydia’s shoulder. The impact was hard enough to make her stumble..” I do this quite frequently. I do not mean to knock people off balance, but I usually do! It is the easiest way for me to express affection without having to touch someone with my hands. It is less overwhelming for Beej in that way too!

- “I promise, I’ll do better for you, I’ll be better!” Haha what a fun callback that doesn’t have any implications about Beetlejuice’s mental state

- “I’ve always wanted to make a blood pact!” Me too. But don’t try this at home.

- “I, Lawrence Betelgeuse Shoggoth,” He is only able to say his own name when it’s a part of a pact or contract! That sucks.

#beetlejuice #beetlejuice fanfic #beetlejuice the musical #lawrence beetlejuice shoggoth #adam maitland #lydia deetz #barbara maitland #Time is a Flat Circle #loopjuice #LoopJuice chapter #LoopJuice extras

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madbadash · 6 months ago

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🎵🎵🎵 Album tag game 🎵🎵🎵

rules: share the albums that you can listen to nonstop. those lightning in a bottle-albums that scratch ur brain just right. every single track, an absolute banger. u could not skip one if u tried. no notes. stunning, show-stopping, immaculate. ur no-skip albums.

🔎 bonus & optional (but imo, v fun) rules: 1) add a track rec for us to listen to! AND 2) share ur favorite line(s) from that track! 👀

Now lowkey I'm cheating here because I don't really listen to albums in full and I would probably would skip at max like one song on each of these albums but I wanna participate in the game so I make the rules.

ANYWAYS thank you @bluecoolr for the tag

I will Tag @probably-a-plant-thing @bobeatspie300 @thelemoncoffee @boxtyphoon @toborusk and a cover all if you wanna do it do it!! Also these are all very low no pressure tags.

Billie Ellish- When We All Fall Asleep, Where Do We All Do?

Penelope Scott-Public Void

Mother Mother-Inside

Chonny Jash-The Will Wood Power Hour

Eliza Anastasic-The Grand Relics

Billie was my number one artist on Spotify for like 2 or 3 years in a row and she hasn't left my top 5 since I started listening to her. I fucking LOVE ilomilo

Lyrics: So, where did you go? I should know, but it's cold And I don't wanna be lonely So tell me you'll come home Even if it's just a lie

The fact I get all my music from Tiktok is showing ANYWAYS Penelope Scott has some bangin ass music. I actually associate this song with Steven, and if Bob is down and people are interested I can totally go into why.

Lyrics:You fuckers know it's all built on lies But the beast refuses to die And so I guess well neither can I

Mother Mother is the most basic gay people music but DO I CARE??? NOOOOO!!!!! I can and will add both Haylofts into Oc Playlists! Anyways this bitch got a funky rhythm and I like the way they sing. Also this is probably the album with the most skips but I make the rules I don't care I'mma put it anyways

Lyrics: I'm thinking, "Oh, my God, what a chatty creature" It just kept talking and talking and talking all around in a circle I said, "Hey, little guy, I think it's time to go now"

CHONNY I AM GONNA KISS YOU SO HARD OH MY GOD. YOU, ONE OF MY FAVORITE ARTISTS, COVERING WILL WOOD??? MY OTHER TOP ARTIST. I AM CRAZY AND DERANGED

Now I do think you should listen to both versions of Thermodynamic Lawyer but I really like the lyric changes Chonny does so do whatever you want.

Lyrics:He'll rationalize rhymes 'til the T's and the I's Are re-crossed and re-dotted to a blur Blacks out his eyes, hides the lines, flays his thighs 'Til the-, they think that "he" is their "her"

Ok ok now hear me out. Hear me out here I know it's fucking weird but listen to me. Hear me the fuck out.

This is a fan-Album based on the Podcast The Adventure Zone Balance. Everyone should listen to Balance. It's a funny DND podcast. It is earnest, and stupid and funny and it has made me cry and if you don't have 69 hours to throw to this podcast (with the first 6 episodes being a bit rough as it's their first time playing) I HIGHLY recommend listening to their Current Arc: Vs Dracula. They all know what they're doing and they're doing it hilariously

Rant over. These songs are based on 7 magical objects that are collected by our main characters. These songs also include some clips from the podcast. I'm gonna rec the first one because its the least spoiler-y.

Lyrics: I'm a weapon of mass destruction That can literally fit on your hand So what are you waiting for? I'm thralling as hard as I can Go ahead and put me on- Gloves do not have long attention spans!

#Spotify #tag game #my moots #blue😊#ash speaks!!!

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gothcsz · 7 months ago

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𝑻𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉𝒇𝒂𝒓𝒆 / Chapter V.

PAIRING: Javier Peña x Original Female Character

SUMMARY: Down on the west coast, we got a saying...

WORD COUNT: 6.1k

RATING: 18+ Mature topics such as sex, drugs, murder, the occult, religion, cannibalism and other triggering matters will be explored in this body of work. Minors DNI.

CHAPTER SPECIFIC TAGS: A sexy performance by our main character, he's absolutely whipped, THEY HUG FOR THE FIRST TIME !!, is it really a slow burn if they don't yearn for one another, an insufferable dad, speaking of dad back on my dbf!Javi bs, other things that I'm probably forgetting.

DISCLAIMER/WARNINGS: The Javier Peña referenced in this body of work is solely based off of the character that appears in Netflix’s Narcos and not the actual person. Very canon divergent and I will tweak things as I see fit to compliment the narrative of this story. While efforts have been made to be accurate in terms of canon timeline, a lot of details will be fictionalized, including the usage of the song(s) that Paloma will perform throughout the story.

A/N: hi friends! hope you all enjoy this chapter, i was completely smitten while writing this since i'm such a needy little thing when it comes to a good slow burn ship lmfao also i love how we've all collectively decided that javi is lana del rey coded like SO true bestie !! like i love me some flirty!Javi okay sue me !! let him flirt with all the women !! anyways feel free to drop any type of feedback/support on this blog or ao3. i'd really appreciate it <3

♰ read on ao3. ♰

♰ playlist | pinterest | series masterlist ♰

Paloma is feeling wildly fervent tonight, a side effect of the eventful days she’s been having. She’s been buzzing with excitement to get up on the stage and exude all the feelings she’s been wrapped up in through music.

Between Javier’s ‘will they won’t they’ repartee and August’s piquant personality; these men have been bending her will to remain strong. It’s a peculiar thing, reminiscent to the stories she reads or movies she watches.

Paloma hasn’t stopped to think about it in a logical sense, where these newfound ‘relationships’ can go, and frankly she doesn’t want to stop and think. She just wants to be… to allow herself to indulge in the pleasantries of their attention.

She’s at the bar two hours before she’s set to do her gig, cheerfully enjoying the company of her best friend as she drinks her signature root beer and muddled cherry mocktail. She eyes the new karaoke machine that’s just recently been acquired and leans in to get Sloane’s attention.

“Has anyone used it?” She gestures to the machine and Slo shakes her head, wiping down the counter.

“No, but I think you’d be the perfect person to break it in. Pretty sure I saw some Madonna songs on there…” Sloane tells her in a sing-song tone, causing Paloma’s eyes to light up and she hops off the bar stool to walk up to the stage where it was. It consisted of a large television set and the actual karaoke machine.

She plays around with it for a few, familiarizing herself with the controls before she’s skimming through the dozens of available songs.

The evening crowd has started to file in, she doesn’t even realize since she’s been too busy figuring the machine out. She lets out a delighted sound of glee once she sees that Like a Prayer is one of the available songs and wastes no time in selecting it.

The song begins and she takes her position on the stage, few eyes on her. She doesn’t even need the large teleprompter for the lyrics. Bringing the microphone up to her lips, she begins to sing the intro softly.

Paloma sways her hips when she needs to, keeping up with the song as it’s one of her all time favorites. She’s done a variant of this performance in her bedroom with her hair brush many of times.

As the final notes fade away, Paloma finds herself nearly breathless, her heart still racing from how fun it was. The applause washes over her like a wave, enveloping her in a blanket of appreciation.

With a wide smile adorning her face, she gracefully bows and waves to the audience before delicately placing the microphone back on its stand. As the jukebox resumes its melody, filling the void left by her absence, she makes her way back to her spot at the bar counter, basking in the warmth of the moment.

“You know how to put on a show!” The compliment comes from a redhead sitting in the stool closest to her.

“Thank you.” Her mouth curves into a smile as she eyes her. A bride sash draped horizontally over her torso with the small veil clipped in her hair and she’s dressed in all white. There’s three other woman behind her whom she assumes is the bridal party. “And congratulations.” She raises her glass that had been replenished courtesy of her best friend.

They cheers then engage in some small talk when the bride, Wendy, confirms to Paloma that they are out for her bachelorette celebration. They had some car troubles in the middle of their travels to Austin which led to a rest stop here in Seminary until morning.

It wasn’t how she had planned to celebrate the trip, but there was nothing she could do about it so she’s making the best of the situation.

This has an idea pop into Paloma’s head, empathetic as ever, and she says her goodbyes once the band arrives. The plan is simple enough; perform some of her more sultry songs for the stranded bridal party in hopes to make their night a little more entertaining. It doesn’t take much before she’s got her band on board, tapping on the microphone to get everyone’s attention when she returns to the stage.

Javier did not plan on being at The Whiskey Fox tonight, especially with the lack of sleep he’s endured recently. Not that he hasn’t dealt with it before, but it’s been on an unforgiving incline as of late.

The worst part about his insomnia is how inconsistent it can be. He could go weeks with little to no sleep then suddenly a period where it’s all he does. Hasn’t hit the latter of the cycle just yet, but he can feel it creeping up on him at an agonizing pace.

It’s a complete shit show and infuriatingly lonely. He wouldn’t admit to the latter, however.

Exhausting himself throughout the day with hopes that he’ll be bone-tired by the end of the night, he makes an impromptu stop at the bar where hopefully a glass or two of bourbon will have him easing into sleep the second he makes it home.

It’s a long shot, nothing irregular of what he does on a regular night, but fuck, he really needs to get some rest. He can only function off coffee and nicotine for so long.

The bar is in high spirits the second he steps foot in, and with that comes the reminder that it’s a weekend night which means…

Eyes drift over to the stage and sure enough, she’s front and center, and he fights the urge to gravitate towards her.

Instead, Javier opts to sit at the bar, easily getting Sloane’s attention and ordering his bourbon.

“Y’know… I think this is the first time you’ve in been here while I’ve been on shift. You hidin’ from me, handsome?” She begins with a teasing simper, expertly pouring the drink.

Javier chuckles briefly, giving her a once-over, “Had I known a pretty little thing like you was tendin’ the bar I woulda been in here much more consistently.” Flirtatious as ever, despite his exhaustion, brown eyes meeting her gaze as she diligently sets the glass in front of him with a vivacious grin.

“Oooh, you’re a sweet talker. I like that. Not many darin’ boys ‘round here.” She leans forward, making a point to press her breasts together to show off her cleavage which he shamelessly ogles.

“S’a good thing I’m not a boy, sweetheart.” Bringing the glass up for a sip, their stare isn’t broken and she cocks her head to the side in interest.

“A great thing, even. You’re all man.” Her southern accent drips with sensuality, the suggestion hanging heavy in the air between them. For a fleeting moment, Javier entertains the idea of inviting her back to his place to relieve some tension and get some rest, but before he can act, she’s whisked away by another patron.

Divine intervention, Javi thinks, since his interest for her drops the second he hears Paloma’s voice. Placing some cash on the counter, he moves over to the table he’s accustomed to sitting at, distancing himself from the distraction with great tits behind the bar.

♫

His attention now fully on the woman on stage, her honeyed voice and the movements of her hands as they trail along the length of her body, diligently tracing her curves.

He can’t keep his eyes off her. Clad in a sleek black dress with a sweetheart neckline, its hem teasingly grazes the curve of her thigh. She radiates an effortless sensuality. Her mid-thigh high boots elevate her stature, causing her back to arch ever so subtly, drawing his gaze to her ass.

Her hips sway with a tantalizing rhythm that ignites Javier’s imagination, conjuring images of her poised above him with his cock drilling deep inside of her.

The glass in his hand suddenly feels heavy as his thoughts get dirty, so he takes a long sip, relishing the fiery sweetness that burns down his throat.

Javi finds himself completely entranced, lost in the melody of her voice. As Paloma begins her descent from the stage, weaving her way through the tables scattered around the room, a sense of anticipation stirs within him. With bated breath, he shifts in his seat, eagerly awaiting for her to approach him.

She continues, tastefully interacting the patrons nearby, pocketing bills that are being handed to her. She handles it suavely, tucking the wads of cash in the band of her boot that’s pressed against her thigh.

Javier’s eyes fall to the area as she does this, running his tongue over his teeth and truly contemplating if staying away is worth it all. He digs into his back pocket, fishing out the leather wallet and swiftly pulling out whatever was in it to give her.

It’s then that she approaches him, the spotlight making Paloma look more radiant than any star he’s ever seen. Their eyes meet in an enchanted gaze, his lips tug up into a cocky and expectant smirk in which she matches before slowly rounding behind him, almost singing in his ear.

“Te deseo, cariño, boy, it’s you I desire.”

Javier’s jaw ticks as her touch runs along the expanse of his broad shoulders, and before she’s able to leave him completely, he slips the bills into her palm and lets it drop from his grasp.

That line was a seductive invitation, crafted for him alone, and he can feel it in the way her lips curve into a smug smile. Was it penned with him in mind, sung in Spanish to tantalize him? The notion ignites a fierce longing within Javier, his skin tingling and body craving her.

Her lyrics, saturated with desire, mirror the very same craving she elicits from him. The hunger in her eyes speaks volumes, a silent plea for the passion they both yearn to share.

She finishes the song, the table of a bridal party praising her drunkenly as the music dies down and everyone begins their applause. Some whistling at her, too.

Javier remains unmoved, reclining effortlessly in the chair, one arm draped casually over its back. His gaze is fixed on her, unwavering, a fresh cigarette dangling from his lips, the tendrils of smoke curling around him lazily. He makes no attempt to conceal his admiration, indifferent to whether she notices his lingering stare. The bold move she just made only serves to fuel him, leaving his infatuation as intense and consuming as ever.

It’s evident that Paloma seeks his pursuit, craving the thrill of the relentless chase until she willingly offers herself completely. Though Javier typically refrains from chasing pussy, he finds himself captivated by the enticing dynamics of their relationship— a tantalizing dance of push and pull.

This experience is vastly different from his usual encounters, where women often yield quickly to his advances. With her, however, the challenge persists, defying his expectations and fueling his intrigue.

For a time, Javier reveled in the thrill of it all— the fleeting encounters with women at brothels, the allure of one-night stands. The fast-paced rhythm of constant attention and swift hook-ups kept him occupied and amused.

Yet now, a shift has happened.

He finds himself drawn to the unhurried pace of whatever undefined connection he shares with Paloma. It’s a departure from the whirlwind of his past experiences, and despite its ambiguity, it holds a newfound interest, captivating him in its gradual unfolding.

It’s building tension, prolonged foreplay to a shared fantasy that’ll only bring them both conflict. Conflict that he doesn’t want to be burdened with…

Yet, she makes it so hard to stay the fuck away.

As she vanishes into the depths of the back area, Javier swiftly drains the last remnants of his drink, feeling more restless than when he came in.

It has been days since her last performance, yet she hasn’t stopped thinking about that night. It was her first time doing anything remotely sensual as she had— and she liked it. It gave her a lot of real confidence and not that of which she pretends she obtains.

She’s already preparing herself for the scrutiny she’ll receive from a certain group of gossips at church for putting on such a scandalous performance.

Whatever, she thinks, people were going to talk shit regardless and she’s never felt more sexier and empowered. The self-assurance she got from people handing her tips and receiving Javier’s undivided attention was exhilarating.

It had been more than enough for her to quickly improvise a specific lyric in her song. For him.

Paloma is at a loss to rationalize her impulsive behavior once she approached him, swept up in a sensation akin to a siren’s call, drawing in a lost sea captain with an irresistible temptation.

He’d been more preoccupied than usual, leaving Paloma to grapple with an unexpected yearning for his presence. Their interactions had become fleeting, confined to brief exchanges in passing or hurried conversations over the phone, often revolving around attempts to reach the sheriff.

So seeing him there that night, very present at her gig, she knew she had to do something big to give him the hint that she is very, very interested in doing something, anything with him. Consequences be damned.

Paloma won’t be the one to take it there, that’s a rookie move. If Javier is as interested as he appears to be, then she fully intends to practice some patience and have him crawling over to her.

Would he actually do that, though? She only knows bits and pieces of his romantic endeavors, and from the little information she’s gathered; he doesn’t seem like the type to chase but she could be wrong.

There is no harm in trying to seduce him, really, and if he rejects her then she’ll take the hint and move on. It’s not like she wants to date the man or have him fall to one knee asking for her hand in marriage.

No, Paloma just really wants to get laid. Too many nights have came and went where all she’s dreamed of is the hot, older deputy sheriff screwing her into oblivion.

Then at the bar… he actually gave her money, matter of fact, he had been the biggest tipper of the night. She contemplated giving the cash back to him, thinking it was entirely too much, but she talked herself out of the idea solely because she found the transaction incredibly hot.

She’s cautious not to invest her entire focus in him, so she’s also been seeing August.

Their time together brings forth a distinct experience, stirring uncertainty about her romantic attachment to him. It wasn’t until yesterday afternoon, amidst the tranquil shade of a sprawling oak tree, engrossed in shared reading, that an almost kiss cast light on her true sentiments towards him.

Their connection pulsates with an undeniable chemistry, his attention lavishing upon her as if she were the rarest gem. United by their shared interest for literature and idyllic beliefs, he breathes vitality into the stifling surroundings.

While the opportunity for a shared kiss lingered, Paloma’s thoughts persistently drifted toward Javier, rendering the moment bittersweet.

Lost in her own thoughts amidst the task of pulling weeds from the garden, she remains oblivious to the persistent ringing of the landline inside. Only as the sound penetrates her consciousness does she snap out of it.

Hastily removing her gardening gloves and rushing inside, she reaches for the phone just before its final ring.

It’s Lola from the bar letting her know that a letter has just been dropped off— addressed specifically for Paloma.

She is confused yet intrigued at the news, and in no time she’s in town; sitting on top of the counter ripping the poor envelope open and scanning the words on the piece of paper.

Apparently, the bride who was here last weekend contracts acts from all over Texas to perform at the state fair in Dallas. Seems like Paloma was conspicuous enough to warrant an invite.

A much bigger crowd, her first real chance to branch out by doing something she’s genuinely passionate about.

After freaking out about it with the ladies at the bar, even taking a celebratory tequila shot, Paloma is racing to make it to the station to share the good news with her dad.

She hurriedly hops off her bike, not even bothering to chain it to the rack as she snatches the letter and saunters up the steps and into the building overly excited.

Clearly, she’s interrupted something as both men’s heads snap in her direction with heavy, worried looks in their eyes when she barges in.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Her father steps towards her, scanning her for any injuries.

“Yes I’m fine daddy,” she tucks her hair behind her ears to contain some of her excitement since she feels some of the leftover apprehensiveness from before she arrived, “I’m just excited to show you this, look! I got invited to preform at the state fair!” She shoves the paper into his chest and he turns it around so he can read it.

Her eyes are bright in anticipation, searching his stoic face for a reaction.

“Sweetheart, this is wonderful...” He trails off and her smile begins to fade at his tone.

“What? What’s wrong?” She questions, eyes flickering over to Javier who stands almost awkwardly behind the sheriff.

“A girl in Fayette has gone missing. We just got the call. About to head over to help ‘em out.” The news has Paloma drawing in a breath, all the enthusiasm in her body evaporating as he hands the paper back to her.

“O-Oh, that’s—”

“This is amazing news, babygirl. We’ll talk about it more when I get home later, alright? We gotta get goin’.”

The dismissal breaks her, and there’s a second where her demeanor shows it but it’s only temporarily as she nods understandingly then steps aside to allow him to maneuver his way into his office.

“State fair, huh? That’s huge, congrats bella.” Javier’s voice keeps her from scurrying away and she gives him a small smile.

“Thanks, but seems like there’s more important things to focus on.” She won’t be self-centered by taking up any more of their valuable time. A girl is missing and if they want to come out on top, then their focus has to remain on her and not Paloma’s trivial news.

“You’re right but that doesn’t mean we can’t be happy for you.” She lifts her gaze from her shoes up to meet his at the use of ‘we’ and she melts, instantly.

In his captivating brown eyes, there’s a delicate balance of gentleness and resolve, causing her knees to weaken slightly. She discerns the subtle golden flecks that add a compassionate depth to his stare.

“Yeah, I guess. Just hate that all this is still happenin’. I’m assumin’ y’all aren’t any closer to findin’ out who’s doin’ all this, huh?” Since her father doesn’t tell her anything except what he needs to, she isn’t fully aware of the exasperatingly severity or statuses of the cases.

Javier lets out a heavy sigh, thumb dragging across his trimmed mustache then bottom lip and her eyes zero in on the movement, which she shouldn’t find as attractive as she does. “No, but things like this always take time. It’s the most frustrating thing about the job.”

She nods, having somewhat of an understanding, “Then I’ll get outta y’alls hair. Leave the mystery solvin’ and savin’ the day to the pros.” Her nose crinkles as she lets out a soft laugh in attempts to lighten the mood.

He gives her a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes.

Javier’s magnetism is undeniable, his rugged handsomeness coupled with an air of competence that captivates her completely. She senses something more than mere physical attraction. It’s as if small moments like these are chipping away at the salacious layers of their connection, revealing something deeper and more profound beneath.

“I’ll see you soon, yeah? Got those parts for dear Darla comin’ in any day now. You’ll be cruisin’ around town in no time.” He winks at her and she giggles softly, blood pooling at her cheeks in a deep blush that he notices immediately and it makes his chest tighten.

“I’m lookin’ forward to it.” Paloma replies, a bit more shyly than she’d like but that’s just what happens when you’re affected by Javier Peña’s irresistible charm.

They hold each other’s gaze for a few more seconds, Paloma losing herself in the depths of his warm brown eyes, while Javier savors her presence entirely. Their silent exchange is interrupted as Romeo emerges from his office, oblivious to yet another fleeting moment shared between his daughter and the deputy sheriff, lost in their own world of unspoken emotions.

She is well aware of the copious amount of time she’s been putting in to her performance for the fair, spending all her free time at the bar with the band rehearsing or in her room piecing together her outfit.

This is her moment to showcase her mastery of the craft, and she seizes it with unwavering determination. To an outsider, the prospect of performing at a mediocre state fair, hours away from home, might seem insignificant. But to her— it’s everything. Every chord struck, every lyric sung carries the weight of her dedication.

This performance isn’t just about the venue; it’s about pouring her proving to herself that she’s capable.

At first, her father had been really excited for her… but as the days dragged by and tensions with the missing person case increased, he began to grow more cynical about it.

With the way things were going, he wouldn’t be able to accompany her and that’s when all the unnecessary comments began. Romeo began to bring up the crime rate in Dallas, hypotheticals of what would happen if she were to get stuck on the side of the road on her way there, even insinuating that her band (which consisted of four members from their church) wouldn’t be as reliable as she knows them to be.

It pissed her off every time he opened his mouth to talk on the matter. At first, she just ignored him or said something neutral to appease him, but now that the date was slowly approaching, she found it difficult to keep her rebuttals to herself.

How many times was she going to have to remind him that she’s a grown up? For some reason, he thinks she’s still a meek sixteen year old girl that needs his protection.

This is what led to the current argument. Him reluctant to let her go and Paloma insistent on going with or without his ‘permission’. Before it has the chance to get out of hand, there’s a knock at the front door and she uses it as an excuse to end the conversation.

Sighing heavily, she opens the wooden door to find Javier on the other side and immediately her frown disappears and she smiles sweetly up at him.

Amidst her intense preparation for the forthcoming performance and his deep engagement at the station, their encounters have become even more infrequent, a departure from their usual routine.

Yet, despite the scarcity of interaction, their bodies seem attuned to each other’s presence, responding instinctively to the silent symphony of their unspoken connection.

“Hey cowboy, whatcha doin’ here?” She crosses her arms against her chest, the screen door still separating the two of them.

“I told you I’d have the parts in any day now.” It’s then that she sees a cardboard box in his possession and realization dawns on her.

“Oh my god— no way! Thank fuckin’— Lord almighty, you’re such a saint.” Javier chuckles at her words which has her feeling fucking giddy as she opens the screen door and steps aside to let him in.

“M’not a saint, princesa, but your kind words are appreciated.” They walk side by side, her shoulder softly brushing against his arm, to the kitchen where her father is.

“Daddy, Javier’s here to finish workin’ on sweet Darla.” There’s a tinge of bitterness lacing her words as she addresses her father, their previous argument still fresh on her mind but she would rather throw herself off a bridge than finish said conversation in front of their company.

The two men greet each other, making small talk as Romeo thanks Javier for all he’s doing for both the town and the help he’s been extending to his daughter. Paloma boredly leans against the doorframe, waiting for them to wrap up their exchange and Javi can feel her impatience.

When they finally breakaway, It’s just him and Paloma in the shed, Romeo stuck inside taking an important call. Instead of perching herself on the chair like last time, she’s leaned over the hood of the car with him, close enough to be able to feel the heat radiating from her body.

“I didn’t interrupt something earlier, did I?” Javier asks, picking up on the tension between her and her dad in the kitchen just then.

Paloma doesn’t reply right away, eyes trained on his working hands within the engine.

“You did but it was a good thing. We were havin’ a small argument that was about to turn into a real big fight. He’s being so anal about not lettin’ be go up to Dallas for the fair. He doesn’t seem to understand that I’m goin’ regardless.” She scoffs with a shake of her head, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“He just worries about you… doesn’t necessarily go about it in the best way but he just wants to make sure you’re safe.” He picks his words as carefully as he can, gaze flickering to her face briefly before returning to the task at hand.

“I know, he’s just so stubborn about it.”

“Sounds like someone I know.”

She lets out a genuine laugh, the one that involuntarily brings a small smile to his lips and she elbows him playfully.

“He’ll come around. He sees how passionate you are about your music. Like you said, you’re goin’ to do it with or without him.” Paloma doesn’t say anything, thinking his words over knowing that Javi’s right but he’s underestimating how adamant her father can be.

Finally getting the last piece screwed in tight, he stands to his full height and wipes his hands off on a rag, “Alright, go start her up and see if she’s cooperatin’ finally.” Javier gestures towards the driver’s seat as he slams the hood close and she excitedly leaves his side, flinging the door open and sliding in.

The engine starts with ease and the delighted cheer that comes from Paloma is more rewarding than anything he’s deserving of.

She hops out, throwing her arms around his neck in a hug that takes him back, literally, stumbling over his feet slightly but they’re kept upright as his hands naturally fall to her waist.

Their bodies pressed together ignites a fervent blaze of desire between them.

Her scent— an intoxicating blend of freshly bloomed flowers and ripe fruit— envelops him like a gentle summer breeze, casting a spell he never wants to break.

His fingers brush against the exposed skin from her cropped shirt, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. The softness of her curves beneath his touch tempts him to explore further, but he restrains himself.

“Thank you so much, Javi. You have no idea how happy you’ve just made me.” Paloma pulls away first, but not completely, and the position they’re left in is much more intimate than it should be.

His breath fans over her face, which is just inches apart, if he really wanted to; he could lean in and press his lips against hers…

And he really, really wants to but with Romeo just around the corner— he won’t risk getting caught. No matter how enticing and easy it’d be to give in.

“Javi? What happened to officer or cowboy?” He teases, pinching at her hips and she pushes at his chest, finally breaking their embrace.

“Right, forgive me for wantin’ to have a moment of authenticity.” Paloma playfully rolls her eyes, “Thank you so much, officer. You have no idea how…” She trails off suddenly and his brow cocks inquisitively.

“You have no idea how satisfied you’ve left me.”

The sultriness in her voice, gleam in her eyes, and those long lashes batting up at him all innocently does nothing but fuel his craving for her.

“If this is all it took to leave you satisfied, hermosa, then you’re in worse shape than I thought.”

She bites down on her lower lip, “Thank god I have you here to help me out, hmm?”

And for a split second it feels like something might happen but ultimately… it doesn’t.

“Just doin’ what I can, cariño. You get any more car problems just call me and not ese mecánico de mierda (shitty mechanic).”

As she leans forward to retrieve the keys from the ignition, he finds himself entranced by the graceful arc of her back, seemingly inviting his lustful gaze to follow its every contour. The gentle slope of her spine draws his eyes downward, her low rise jeans accentuating her plump ass.

“Well… I can’t call you if I don’t have your personal number… what if I have an emergency and you’re not at the station?” Paloma can feel his gaze on her and it makes her feel satisfied that she’s able to capture his attention so easily, closing the car door with her hip and leaning against it.

“That would just be a downright wretched thing.” As his hand instinctively reaches for the memo book he habitually carries, a silent curse echoes in his mind upon realizing its absence. He does have his pen, though.

With a swift and decisive motion, Javier closes the distance between them. A sharp intake of breath betrays her surprise.

“Don’t have paper on me, but…” Taking her hand gently in his, he turns it and begins to write his home phone number on her palm.

Paloma’s heart quickens its pace, his touch a juxtaposition of rough and gentle against her soft skin. She becomes acutely aware of the stark size difference between their hands, his encompassing hers entirely. A shiver dances down her spine at the sensation, the pressure of arousal building.

With a soft exhale, she finds herself unconsciously pressing her thighs together to relieve some of said pressure. The simple act of hand-holding, so mundane, leaves her wanting more of his touch.

The only thing she can think of is how good his large, thick fingers would feel pressed against her clit while he pleasures her. Or curling inside of her and brushing against that soft spot that makes her come undone.

Focus, Paloma, you’re practically drooling.

“Might wanna write that down somewhere soon. The sweat is gonna mess it all up.” Javier teases, letting go of her hand and stuffing the pen into the front pocket of his shirt. The thin layer of perspiration clearly in response to his gesture.

Her eyes widen at the comment and it has her tripping over her words, “Y-Yeah I’ll, uh, make sure not to lose this. Like I said, it’d be a bummer if I couldn’t get ahold of you in a time of need.”

Her desire continues to simmer and she mentally slaps herself for letting her cool girl facade slip just because he held her damn hand. It doesn’t help that the sight of his exposed collarbones has her fingers itching to trace along his chest and explore beneath the fabric.

She fights the urge to succumb to temptation, her resolve tested by the magnetic pull of his presence.

His smirk never falters, absolutely loving to see his effect on her. It’s only fair, seeing as she’s always the one who riles him up. “Alright cariño, I better get outta here before we get ourselves into trouble.”

The fragile awareness of their shared moment shatters her reverie, grounding her back to reality.

“Of course,” she replies softly, her voice carrying a hint of wistfulness. Her hand remains steady, resisting the urge to wipe away the lingering warmth of his touch as they head back to the house.

All hands are on deck to find Jessica Valdez, the missing girl from Fayette.

Back in Colombia, everyone was too afraid to speak up when something was amiss in fear of having their lives taken by the vicious cartels that ran the streets. Those who did have the bravery to come forward with information only did so in hopes of getting support and protection from a government that wasn’t even theirs.

Consequently, when adversity struck, the flow of valuable intelligence was delayed, impeding the acquisition of pertinent information. This rationale justified Javier’s visits to the brothels, veiled under the pretext of proactive investigation aimed at uncovering critical details essential for combatting the narcos.

The fucking was just a pleasurable addition.

In small communities stateside, however, that’s all people do. Talk. So, when Javier goes out to do some canvassing of his own; he isn’t all surprised by how willingly people are to spill the secrets of their neighbors. By the end of the day, he damn near knows about all the affairs in town, who likes to steal money from who, the mayor’s ‘illegitimate’ child, and decade long family feuds.

Exactly what he expected to find in small Texan towns.

Like he had told Romeo in the beginning, there’s always some truth to a rumor. As he’s collecting information about Seminary and the communities that surround it; he comes to find out about a trio of troublemakers that come from one of the towns where one of the earliest victims had been found and their peculiar interest in all things occult.

This piqued his interest and upon further investigation; he quickly found the files for Augustus Dixon, Sloane McCarthy and Gabriel Torres.

Immediately, Sloane caught his attention, although her mugshot portrayed her with a more youthful demeanor. The man from Nina’s funeral, Gabriel, also stood out in his memory. He recalls Sloane mentioning him by name that day he was at the Leighton home, too.

However, the third male remained unfamiliar, his appearance suggesting a rebellious disposition, evident from his file and accompanying mugshot.

The trio had been in and out of jail all their adolescence for petty crimes like stealing, vandalism, public intoxication, fighting and other nonsense. Nothing severe. They were just troublemakers and that is not odd to find in rural areas. Kids get bored and do stupid shit.

Javier would know better than anyone, he did similar things at their age.

He’s spread out on his couch, glass of whiskey in one hand and file in the other. He is deep in concentration, reading over different police reports and trying to find out where the occult aspect of it comes into play when the phone begins to ring and he lets out a grunt.

Reaching over to grab the receiver, he tucks it between his shoulder and ear as he answers.

“Peña.”

“Hey cowboy.”

Her voice has him sitting up straight, discarding the folder in his hand on the coffee table, now fully attentive. It’s actually kind of pathetic how fast his demeanor changes when it comes to Paloma.

“Hola hermosa, a little late to be callin’, yeah? You should be getting your beauty sleep for the big day tomorrow.” He hadn’t forgotten about her performance at the fair, making note of the date the second she told him about it.

“I should be but I’ve got nerves like you wouldn’t believe.” She pauses and he can hear her thinking, “Daddy and I just had a fight… well I dunno even know if you’d call it that. It ended with him sayin’ he didn’t give a damn if I went or not… all that fussin’ just so he could say he didn’t care in the end. If I’m actually that insufferable I’m beggin’ you to put me out of my misery.” He chuckles at that and he can imagine her smiling at his reaction.

“Don’t be nervous, corazón. You’re goin’ to do great. You already knock it outta the park at The Whiskey Fox every weekend. This ain’t no different.” It is different and he knows it, but he also knows her and how she tends to overthink to the point of anxiety. “You ridin’ up there all alone?” Not a fan of the idea but he wouldn’t disclose this to her, now when he knows how much it ticks her off.

“I was gonna hitch a ride with the band, then I remembered I have a car now so I was goin’ to do that but…”

“But?”

“I want you to come with me… if you can.”

The request surprises him, so much so that it prompts him to take a larger drink of his liquor.

“I didn’t scare you off, did I?” She giggles nervously at his prolonged silence.

“No ‘course not. Just figured you’d enjoyed your newfound freedom of being on the road alone.”

“As fun as that sounds, I think it’d ease my daddy’s nerves knowin’ his glorified babysitter was taggin’ along…” Javier feels like there’s more to it than that, especially since she’s always complaining about being under her father’s thumb— only to go on and continue to pacify him. Before he can ask her about it she continues.

“And I’ve never traveled outside of Seminary… well not since I was a little girl. Didn’t really get out much after mom… Just haven’t been outta town in a long, long time.” He can sense her coyness at the admission and it does nothing but persuade him into joining her.

Javi should think it over more, the logistics of him being hours away with Paloma, knowing how ambiguous things are between them. However, he swiftly dismisses his apprehensions, feeling somewhat foolish for blowing what might be a trivial matter, out of proportion.

Especially when she seems so nervous to ask for his company.

Finishing off his drink, Javier leans in deeper to the comfort of his couch and he can hear her soft breaths on the other end of the line, anticipating his response.

“Alright, cariño just tell me what time you need me to be there and I’ll be there.”

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