#not really but i did tag it as spoilers for bsd...

[note-boom]

IT'S ABOUT THE POWERLESSNESS OF A CHILD AND YET THE OVERARCHING POWER OF CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES.

.

.

.

DO YOU HEAR ME THAT'S SO ORV!!!

See here. BSD is a story about how all of our characters were once children. How the scars and wounds and secrets of their past will always haunt them to the present. We see it with Chuuya, Yosano, Ranpo, even Odasaku briefly, Atsushi, Tachihara, Akutagawa, Kyouka and Kenji right now, even Kouyou just a little bit. They've all overcome it or they've allowed it to consume them. And yet that brief glimpse into a past where they were young and scarred shows us once again just how human they are...every criminal, ever person, was once a child wounded by or protected from the world and doesn't that count for something even if it doesn't excuse the atrocities they commit today?

[cyle-stuff]

Yo forget about this poll I made!

The gay shit is actually happening!

I’m still surprise that they animated the hand holding, I didn’t think they would

But they did!!

[reading-stains]

soukoku fics: recs and reviews

look, i really like fanfiction. and i've always felt people sometimes don't give good enough reasons to actually read a lot of it. if you scroll down enough, you'll see i did that too. so i thought i'd help out some people that don't know what to read tonight. you'll notice i took my reviewing seriously hgdsafvkhagsv i'll add more in my reblogs as i go on with this review style, but for now, here are three fanfics that pushed me to do this. fair warning, they're long ones.

A Lesson in Thorns by arkastadt

Word Count: 454,556

Tags: Arranged Marriage, BSD Beast!AU, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Character Death, Heavy Angst, Happy Ending, Ghosts, So Much Smut

Review:

As one of the longest fics I’ve ever read, it took me three days to read it, and a lot of lost sleep. A Lesson in Thorns is a journey that no one is truly prepared for. It’s surprising, I think, how one only notices the slow burn in the beginning, and forget they didn’t start out together in the end. So many things happen in the span of those fifty chapters, and so many feelings arise alongside their events. The reader watches Chuuya grow into himself, despite the haunting (hehe) that surrounds him by the end. Dazai becomes a man wishing to live, despite becoming a ghost of who he used to be. It’s quite magical, the way the story builds upon itself. What is usually some home, this piece makes an empire. 

This author appealed a lot to the wants and needs within these characters, making a paced build up to the challenges the characters face. Furthermore, there is a wonderful line of thought that is unwavering, consistent to the very end. The reader meets Chuuya getting ready to be married. A deal has been struck with the Port Mafia, and as the leader of the Sheep, Chuuya must marry their boss. A questionable and confusing task, but Chuuya has no more cards under his sleeve, and he has to save Shirase from the pending prison sentence. He walks into where he is to be married, looking to find a wrinkled, aging man. Instead, he faces the bandaged limbs and cunning eye of Dazai Osamu, and the story truly begins. 

The reader already knows it’s not a choice left for random that Dazai takes Chuuya under his wing. It’s already stated that on the first day in his position as the boss, right after killing Mori and sixteen months before he and Chuuya marry, he finds the redhead. A search that is broken down as the story unravels, and an effort that builds them and breaks them apart and puts them back together. 

This fanfic is clearly derived from a lot of the factors pointed in Bungou Stray Dogs’s BEAST light novel, which in my eyes makes it all the more interesting. I tried to give a short insight into the beginning with as much care as I could without creating any spoilers for the reading. I guess from me, all my notes just say it’s worth it. This fic really drags you through so many stages of feelings and excitements, and it builds off from them until you reach a new peak all over again. 

On Deathless Feet by AbsoluteNegation

Word Count: 71,848

Tags: Caretaking, Controlling Arahabaki, Canon-Divergence, Port Mafia and Post-Port Mafia, Smut

Review:

There are some stories that find themselves tucked into a hidden corner. It does not make them any less, and it does not make them any better, it just makes them quiet. Which in turn, when they are finally found, makes them all the more surprising. That is how I feel about On Deathless Feet, tucked in a corner of Ao3, and all incredibly surprising. 

Written with a nonlinear narrative, the reader meets the famed Double Black in different moments, recently met, in the middle of their rise through the ranks, at the brink of their end, after their disconnection with years of silence. AbsoluteNegation makes a wonderful story threaded in different moments, contextualizing their uncomfortable return to each other with interruptions back to their old lives before Dazai’s split from the Port Mafia. The author mainly focuses on Arahabaki, and Chuuya’s relationship with understanding the singularity as it slips out of control. Dazai is sent in to help counter it throughout their time together, and long stretches of contact are needed to get it down to normal. 

With a state of constant carataking, the two are thrusted into communion, needing to learn to accept living with each other for the time being. It isn’t a foreign feeling, seeing the other there, but at the end of the day it’s hard for the two with all that past. A past the author explores in detail just as much, not holding back on making it layered and pretty and very intense. They are creatures of passion, that’s what drives this ship and makes it so loved, and the author doesn’t shy away from building on it. Just as well, however, does the author place their own touch to their relationship, with the care and devotion the two also experiment between them. This fanfic is a welcomed balance to the rockier roads often explored surrounding these two. It never lacks sharpness, but it definitely warms the heart.

music for our funeral by itotypes

Word Count: 67,723

Tags: No Smut, Angst, 70s, Musicians!AU, Drug Abuse, References to Child Neglect, Songwriting, Artistic Lyricism

Review:

Music for our funeral by itotypes is a breathtaking composition, and there is not much like it. Set in the 70s, the author explores the surrounding setting of the rock genre, and writes a story of struggle and connection. Starting out with a run-away teenager, we meet Dazai’s lackluster perfection, the narrative often picturing him as a clinical artist. After leaving home, we watch him make himself something, and see him survive until he looks to live. Meanwhile, the other side of the piece plays with a striving perfectionist, and a reckless guitarist, in the form of Chuuya. The man comes from a struggling family (a stark contrast to the origins of his partner), and finds himself lost in the music. 

An interesting part of the story is that we get to know the characters before they meet. In a way, it allows the reader to explore the lives privy to the explosion, and before the pining and intensity that sparks between the two. One of the most appreciative factors that make this story one of my personal favorites is the usage of images throughout it. With beautiful lyrics exploring the essence of a character’s beliefs without them needing to admit it to themselves, there is a clear view into the conflicts and selfish needs that each character has. 

This author’s work is best described as an ode to music. It comes as a surprise at times, the way words fit together in reverence to this branch of artistry. Yet the fact that it’s done through another form of storytelling, through the use of words on a screen instead of notes on one’s ear, makes it all the more captivating. There is no question this is a must read. 

[daz4i]

[tags by @iwritenarrativesandstuff: #do have to wonder if this isn't related to the way fyodor really isn't quite as interesting as nikolai may have thought #while he understands what nikolai means when he says 'freedom' #fyodor's methods of mind control and servitude are not only in opposition to everything nikolai hates #they're also really quite banal. #when fyodor says he's coming after nikolai there's no thrill in it. no interesting clash or way to test his free will. idk i could be wrong]

chefs kiss. YEAH this is such a good take!!!!!!

like, right before that, we see this:

he honestly straight up looks bored. fyodor is so all or nothing. anyone who opposes him just has to go. there's nothing fun about it

it also really stood out to me that this line from the anime was nowhere to be found:

manga!nikolai doesn't see this as a game, however, or at least he doesn't say anything about it. he's just bored with fyodor now. there's no real chase or interest in it, he doesn't get a say, fyodor basically says "i will kill you, just like i did to sigma", because you tried to go against my word. he wants to punish nikolai for trying to express his own free will. he doesn't actually support nikolai's opposition to god the way nikolai might've deluded himself into thinking (bc ultimately, their relationship did always seem one-sided, like fyodor saw through nikolai, and due to feeling seen, nikolai decided they are best friends. fyodor saying "i don't need your praise" and kicking his little radio earlier in the chapter is yet another sign that nikolai's been wrong about that, and that's another detail cut from the anime it seems)

if i may offer another idea; nikolai does say this in response to fyodor talking about sigma being "dead". i do think nikolai got at least kind of attached to sigma during their journey, so he may also be sad about that, but not fully grasping that he may have formed another bond (perhaps to replace the bond he's now grown disillusioned with)

either way, i'm really curious to see how the arm scene will go and if there will be any subtle differences in it as well 👀

my guy does NOT look as happy or pleased as he did in the anime 👀

[damagedintellect]

Nakahara Chuuya x Reader

💌 Would this be considered a social suicide? : Chapter 6 💌  

Summary: You knew it was dangerous to take walks at night but hearing the water rushing under the bridge was calming to your nerves. You didn’t imagine you’d ever fall into the river and somehow wake up in your favorite anime. The isekai that I’m sure will come back to haunt me. It’s kept me up all night but I might as well get the brainrot out.

Notes: Reader is Isekai’d into BSD, Slow to start, Chuuya is endgame but there’s a fair bit of reader & Dazai moments too okay like a lot of Dazai moments, implied poly but not really

This will be the last update for a while because Artfight starts in a few days and it takes place during the whole month of July. The theme is Vampire vs Werewolves which has me laughing my ass off, IT'S LITERALLY BSD THEMED I CAN'T IT'S TOO MUCH!!! I'm planning on siding with Vampire's since *SPOILERS* home boi is under the vampirism.

Tags: @celestair​

💌 Word count: 2,871 💌 Available Chapters [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8]

A few days later was the day Kunikida had a very important schedule to uphold. Everyone was left to their own devices and it was a nice change of pace compared to the past few weeks. You had mostly finished up your tasks for the day and were acting like you were still busy so no one would bother you. Kunikida had left a few minutes ago when you got a message from an unknown number. You had no idea who it was but they had asked you to meet at the station. The one Kunikida was currently at. Could it be Chuuya? You observe Dazai as he agonizes over not being able to ruin the blonde's day yet. It's possible he gave Chuuya your number but you didn't want to ask. You would rather not get involved. It's not like the redhead didn't have other means of gaining that information.

You left with Yosano since you were going to the same area. Upon arrival you knew you had time to spare. You waited on the bench that you remember Chuuya sitting on knowing he would show up after he was done reporting the bomber incident to Mori. You shot him a quick text and waited. Something along the lines of "Don’t worry about the vendetta bomber guy, glasses mans has it handled :3" yes you added the face. It was a necessary component to the message.

It wasn’t too long after that you felt the rumble of Kunikida's beckon to Yosano. Judging by the lack of Chuuya he probably stayed to watch despite your message. You don't blame him. In fact this just makes you fall for him more. Even if Kunikida wasn't the one to save the day he stayed back to make sure and would have stepped in accordingly. Are you giving him too much credit? Probably, but you also wondered why he even called you to the station and having time to kill makes your brainrot show.

"Your ability confuses me ya know. It’s like having a less malicious Dazai."

You looked up when Chuuya’s standing in front of you. "You're not wrong," that's how this entire experience felt like to you anyways. It’s interesting being able to manipulate the situation simply because you know everything. You know what they say, knowledge is power and all. "So why'd you wanna meet up?" 

He looked off to the side fiddling with his hair as he walked off waiting for you to follow him "See confusing, I figured you'd already know that." He spoke soft as if it was more of an afterthought as he rubbed the back of his neck avoiding your gaze. "Even if you did know I guess you'd want to hear me say it." He stopped to turn to you fully. "I want to apologize for the other night." 

Your face was dusted with color at the memory "Oh" this was unexpected. Did he really feel that bad? He grabbed you by the hand pulling you along before you could interject. When he got to the gate he dropped a ticket and pushed you through before inserting another ticket for himself. He resumed holding your hand as he led you to the platform. He was being awfully quiet and you had no idea where he was taking you. If you were taking the train it must be far, otherwise he would have just drove you there instead. You were taking the Keikyu Main Line but that didn't help you much with your very limited knowledge of the area. After all, you didn't originally live in Yokohama. He practically threw you into a seat while he leaned on the pole next to where you were sitting. He pulled his hat down but you could see the faint red that ghosted his cheeks and ears. 

Was he embarrassed about the other night or holding your hand? It could be both. You didn't know how long you'd be on the train for and you didn't really have anything to occupy your time but you didn’t want to stare at Chuuya for the entire journey. You turned slightly to stare outside. You watched the outside for 20 minutes  before Chuuya said anything "We’re getting off here." He offered you his hand again. You couldn't help your heart fluttering. What was going on? Where was he taking you? 

He pulled you to another platform on the Kanazawa Seaside Line. This time the cart was fully packed. You were both pushed into the corner of the cart right in front of one of the windows. The gravity around you shifted as the train started moving while everyone had felt the jerk in momentum you and Chuuya stayed in place as he put an arm on your shoulder. He was facing out the window but was still side-eyeing you. You tilted your head still lost at what was happening. "Where are we going?" You genuinely had no idea.

"Look for yourself." He motioned out the window.

He pointed across the way to the big ferris wheel. He was taking you to the amusement park? Was this a date!? When he saw your flustered expression he was taken aback. "It's not what you think! It's just that I wanted to make up for the other night. Shitty Dazai told me I should send flowers to the office so I decided to do the opposite and take you out instead." He seemed just as flustered as you. So this was Dazai’s doing. After you told Dazai about your implied polygamous relations you hadn’t spoken about your fake past. The lanky motherfucker doesn't bring it up either but when he looks at you there's something new in his eyes. You still can't read him to save your life. You wish you could have heard his inner monologue about it. He probably told Chuuya knowing the redhead would do the opposite of what he suggested. Landing you some alone time with one of your forgotten lovers.

Before you could stop yourself the words flew out of your mouth. "So it's a date then."

"It's an apology!" He near shouted in his defense before adding "but if your ability wants it to be, then yes, it's a date." He grumbled, turning away to look out the window. His minor attraction to you was becoming apparent. You'd have to thank Dazai for this later. He grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the car once you got to your stop. 

Hekkejima sea paradise. It was a free aquarium and park that had paid attractions, rides and experiences. There were a lot of couples walking around. With the way Chuuya was holding your hand it definitely felt like a date. You started off walking through the aquarium. As you looked at all the fish you couldn't help but recall one of Chuuya’s units from the mobile game where he was at the aquarium. In the picture he was wearing a dolphin necklace. When you go to the giftshop you should get matching ones. You wondered if he'd actually wear it.

You were spacing out thinking about it when he snapped his fingers in front of your face "You still with me? I asked if there was anything else you wanted to see." Chuuya sighed defeated. He knew this was a stupid idea, maybe he should have just gone with the flowers. "If you're that bored we can do something else-"

"No it's not that!" You frantically cut him off. "I was just enjoying Chuuya’s company. Guess I got carried away." You rested your head on his shoulder. He jumped slightly at the contact. Once he peered around a bit he leaned into you as well. You relaxed further into his side. This moment was perfect. You don’t know how long you stayed like that for since you were watching the fish swim around the tank. Then it occurred to you just what fish you had been staring at. You started laughing almost maniacally catching Chuuya off guard “What’s so funny?” He looked to you in confusion searching your face for any answers. You just couldn’t, it was too funny to you. You lifted your shaky hand pointing at the tank. “That school of fish, it’s mackerel!” you had another laughing fit as you took out your phone. Chuuya stifled his laugh but he was laughing more at you then his shitty nickname for Dazai. You pulled him in closer, turning your phone to try and get a photo with you, Chuuya and the fish. Obviously you were going to send it to Dazai asking him “what’s he doing there?” You didn’t even care that the mackerel was blurry. You captured Chuuya mid laugh. It was a really cute picture of you both. You didn't even think twice before sending it off to Dazai.

After you finished making your way around the aquarium you ended up at the giftshop. They did in fact have the dolphin necklace in stock.

"Hey Chuuya, do you…" You trailed off, it was kind of stupid anyway. He peeked at what you were looking at. “Hmm?” He had been staring at orca plushies. You were still holding the two necklaces. He raised an eyebrow at you “Can’t decide which one?”

“I uh, no not really I just,” You don’t know why you were stuttering. It was a simple question. “You wanna get matching necklaces?” 

He blinked for a second not expecting that to be the question you were going to ask. You gave him the puppy dog eyes. Who could resist those adorable wide eyes of yours not to mention you know the redhead is a sucker for puppies. This was going to work, it needed to work. Today was about you anyhow why would he say no to you. He kept looking from the necklaces to you, he was confused. “Why?”

You sighed, of course you had to spell it out for him “I don’t know I like the idea of matching friendship necklaces, ignore me for being sentimental.” You knew it was too good to be true but to be fair, him stealing you away for the day was already an accomplishment. You shouldn’t try to push your luck anyhow. He studied your face while you were putting them back but before you managed to put them back on the rack he grabbed them from you. "If you feel sentimental over this we're getting them." He declared firmly walking up to the register to pay. You watched him walk away with a smile. You felt special, like you were living in a daydream. Walking out of the gift shop Chuuya pulled you over to the side to put the necklace on you himself. He was already wearing his and you couldn’t help but grin.

The park made an announcement that there was going to be a dolphin show and that any visitors who wanted to participate should make their way over to the viewing area. Chuuya smirked, grabbing your hand pulling you along with him. “You like dolphins right? Then you’ll love this.” You let yourself be dragged along while you giggled to yourself. You had a feeling that he’s seen the dolphin show before. There was a sparkle in his eye as he managed to secure you both front row seats. The attendants were passing out rain ponchos for the first three rows but before you could take one Chuuya refused for the both of you. His excitement was rubbing off on you even though you could guess that he was trying to impress you with the nature of his ability. You couldn’t help but laugh at his dorkiness. When the show started he draped his arm around you prompting you to scoot closer to him and as the dolphin made their entrance they splashed the audience as they passed by, but like you predicted you and Chuuya remained bone dry. You cackled uncontrollably at his antics to the point you were starting to tear up. “Oh you’re cute you know that!” In your laughing fit you completely missed the way Chuuya froze blush creeping across his face as he smiled at you.

As you continued to walk around the park you were starting to see more and more couples having crepes. Naturally if this was supposed to be a date then you guys needed to get some. This would also make up for the fact you didn’t get to have crepes with Atsushi and Kyoka that one time. You were trying to locate the vendor when Chuuya started pulling you in the opposite direction. You were about to complain when you saw the crepe stall up ahead. He laughed at your stunned expression “You wanted a crepe right? Everytime I come here it’s usually with Elise and Mori. It’s tradition at this point.” His smile was so radiant you never wanted this day to end. When the sun was starting to set he claimed that there was still one more thing you both had to do. You got in line for the ferris wheel as it hit golden hour and the colorful park was washed in a sea of gold. Maybe you should have gotten in line earlier to watch the sunset from the highest cart. By the time you made it to the front of the line the sun was nearly gone. As you guys entered the cabin you frowned seeing the sun fade away.

Chuuya cleared his throat, breaking your focus from the horizon line as he joined you by the window idly putting his hands on the railing provided for balance. “You’re probably sick of hearing me say it but I’m sorry for the other night,” he trailed off looking out the window at the view. “I’m not about taking advantage of people for their ability. It’s a shitty existence being used like that.” He looked down thinking about his past. Talking with you was hard because he didn’t know what to say when you could already read him like an open book. You place your hand on top of his. “I mean I agreed to this. I could have just not told you anything if I really didn’t want to help you, ya know.” You know in your heart of hearts you were using him more than he was using you.

He grit his teeth annoyed at your words “See this is what I mean when I say it’s like having a less malicious Dazai but you I just don’t get.” He turned to look at you “You don’t gain anything from helping me and you said it yourself I wouldn’t do anything to you knowing you’re the only one who can answer the question. So what gives, why would you even bother?” 

Sighing you gave him a lopsided smile “I’m much more selfish than you give me credit for.” You contemplate telling him the same lie you told Dazai. It wouldn’t really do much either way but you think you should take a slightly different approach. “Contrary to popular belief it does seem like Dazai’s ability has a few exceptions. Since I don’t particularly have to touch people it makes sense but it was still unexpected. When I started working at the ADA and was around Dazai all the time, I started getting these visions of this cute feisty redhead. Guess you could say I took an interest in him. You can imagine my surprise when we finally met and he wanted to speak to me personally.” You shyly avoid his gaze peering out the window. It seemed like the cart you were in was just about at the top and you borderline just confessed to him. Depending on his reaction this was either going to be the worst ten minutes or the best ten minutes of your life.

He grabbed your chin guiding you back to look him in the eyes as he chuckled. “Oh so you’ve had a crush on me from the start.” he gave you the smuggest smirk known to man. You were toast this was it this is how you die. He opened his mouth but you both snapped your head to the window when a loud explosion went off in the distance as the sky illuminated with fireworks. This was better than a sunset. You both watched the fireworks, neither of you moved from your position. When the first wave had a brief dip Chuuya resumed what he was about to say “The feeling is mutual." Your eyes widen taking in what he just said as you both stare into each other’s eyes making sure this wasn’t some elaborate joke. This time you didn’t hesitate taking a step forward to capture his lips with yours. The fireworks in the distance faded without either of you noticing as you melted into each other. It wasn’t like the heated almost desperate make out you had weeks ago. Every touch felt deliberate and reassuring like this was how it was always supposed to be. You didn’t even realize the ride had ended until one of the employees cleared their throat. The two of you separated instantly, walking out embarrassed like school children.

<= Previous Chapter | Next Chapter =>

[uraharasandals]

SPOILERS FOR BSD SEASON 5 FINALE

I just - *sigh* okay, I just finished BSD season 5. Obviously I'm NOT okay because of skk shinskk and old men DYING IN EACH OTHERS' ARMS and ALL OF WHATEVER HAPPENED WHEN BRAM GOT A BODY *gestures frantically*

But to be really honest the main feeling I have is largely disappointment. This is going to be a very hot take but I actually hated how the arc panned out. Yes yes war ending yes everyone needs to stop fighting blah blah blah but IMAGINE. IMAGINE if the plot unfolded the way it was planned - Fukuchi being evil all along. Him eradicating war by eradicating humankind (the most evil, at least) by making armies destroy each other. And then making everyone build a nation (or not a nation, since he hates those) from the ashes of what's left. How his ideals become twisted from war, his glorious purpose and beliefs completely changed from the war.

Instead of whatever code geass-esque ending we got here. Except not even then because Suzaku killing Lelouch actually DID do the whole build-up justice. The build-up of BSD was so good - everything was paved so well and so nicely done, and then you're telling me he wanted to kill HIMSELF at the end? There's no hint to this, no SLIVER that the audience could've grasped at this. I've always believed that the best plot twists are the ones you see coming a mile away. This is more like a brick being dropped onto your head while you're walking. Maybe the new sequel has Fukuchi being revived and killing everyone again (it certainly looks like him, but also why are we fighting TWO HOURS AFTER again)

Anyways if Asagiri doesn't come out with something new for the October manga I'll shot myself

oh I forgot to add something I was gonna keep this in the notes but

The way that he keeps killing characters and bringing them back with a silly goofy explanation is genuinely doing my head in because at this point there is no IMPACT to character death. Shock value works only to a certain degree and it's getting a little boring to my flimsy ADHD-driven patience.

@sword-dad-fukuzawa tagging u cos I wanna hear ur thoughts

[headdaze]

FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT READ MY LATEST BLOG DESC. UPDATE: THIS BLOG IS NOT SPOILER FREE. THERE ARE SPOILERS. PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!

also.

navigation notes for myself (***UPDATE PERIODICALLY IF NECESSARY***)

if I want to find stuff related to fandom (memes, jokes, etc.) -> #fandom

if I want to find stuff related to a certain series/show/etc. -> #[whatever the show name is] and if it's not there type in the alternate version of the show if there is one (ex: haikyuu!! vs haikyuu // bsd vs bungou stray dogs vs bungo stray dogs // hsr vs honkai star rail // ww vs wuthering waves // jjk vs jujutsu kaisen // wind breaker vs wind breaker (satoru nii) ... you get the point self) **but also give up on a lot of death note stuff bc foolish me did not tag a lot of that in the past...** (for books put in the author's name too)

if I want to find things I wrote myself -> #jim's journal

if I want to find really nice art from a variety of places -> #this is art.

if I want to find things related to writing (advice, memes, etc.) -> #writing

if I want to find things related to art (advice, etc.) -> #art

if I want to find stuff that really hurt me (usually jjk) -> whatever the crying screaming throwing up tags are // #screaming shrieking sobbing // idk start a tag with one of the ones in despair then I'll get there somehow

if I want to find quotes/aesthetic/etc. -> #

last resort if I really don't know and want to find it // and then everything else in the grey area of "idk what this is" -> #random thoughts [BE CAREFUL: also check the #random thooughts tag because I might have misspelled it at times...]

if I want to find things that are random but also important: combo of #random thoughts and #but really damn important ones / #BUT REALLY DAMN IMPORTANT ONES

[ildi-dragonheart]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by @frankenjoly omg thanks i just got home from school i need this

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

I have 57 rn and i still can't believe i have that many fics,, it used to be more than that but i had deleted some of my older fics for an old fandom i was once in

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

127,635 words (and counting hopefully once i get out of this slump)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now i mainly write for BSD. I used to write for the fantastic beasts and where to find them fandom from 2018 to the first half of 2020 but i stopped cuz i left (you can still find my fics for that fandom in my ao3 and wattpad profiles)

4. Top five fics by kudos

Bored (BSD) - a little domestic fluff fic feat. Ranpo being perpetually bored while Akiko is busy working

A Night at the Scamander Household (Fantastic Beasts) - wherein the Newt and Tina are awoken in the middle of the night by their youngest son who's unable to sleep

Tattoos and Soulmates (Fantastic Beasts) - newtina soulmate au where you have matching tattoos with your soulmate

Lay All Your Love on Me (or not) (Fantastic Beasts) - watch as Achilles Tolliver tries to get Tina Goldstein's attention and fails (spoiler: she's already taken)

Books, Rain, and You (Fantastic Beasts) - in an effort to get out of the heavy rain, Tina finds herself in a cozy library with an adorable librarian. they bond over books and then some

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, but not always. I like interacting with those who read my fics and seeings their comments just motivates me to write more

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i mostly write fluff but i have tried my hand at writing angst although i'm not sure if those fics count as that cuz i feel like i don't have the skill to properly convey the angsty feelings for it to be considered angst

but if i had to choose out of all the attempts i made at angst, i'd say If "Happy Ever After" Did Exist, I Would Still Be Holding You Like This and Con Flores (Te Llevaste Mi Tristeza Con Colores)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

again, i write fluff so basically all of them have happy endings or are just generally happy overall. i can't really pick one of them dasjkgkas

8. Do you get hate on fic?

i hope not... that's literally one of my writing anxieties, especially when i write a fic involving an oc i have for a fandom (like Edogawa Hotaru, for example)

9. Do you write smut?

i think i tried writing once although it wasn't a fanfic. i cringed hard and never tried writing smut for a fic again. but if you guys saw my character ai chats involving my ships-

10. Do you write crossovers?

no

11. Have you ever stolen a fic?

i hope not. i always try to make sure all my works are original, but if i do take inspo from another fic i always make sure to ask

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! i think i had two or three fics translated some time ago by other people online (with my permission ofc) and that honestly makes me feel so proud??

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no and i feel too shy to do so😭

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

ranposano, obviously (and a genshin rarepair i have that i am a little too afraid to say cuz genshin fandom)

15. What's a WIP you want to finush but probably won't?

so. many. WIPS. please. send me motivation.

16. What are your writing strengths?

never-ending inspiration i guess. i once got a "this is the fic i/we never knew i/we needed" comment on a ranposano fic that i wrote because i had my period and that just made me realize that wow i pull my ideas from literally everywhere

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

procrastination, my inconsistent english grammar, and constantly setting standards that are a little too high whenever i write something

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

i'm fine with it ig? englsih is my second language and i don't usually write full dialogues in another language. i usually only include words in another language but never full dialogues

19. First fandom you wrote for?

believe it or not, i used to write fanfics for the rise of the brave tangled frozen dragons fandom, mainly jelsa (but i never published any of them my 10 year old self was too scared)

20. Favorite fic you've written?

omg Lost and Found my beloved ranposano fic daksgdkas that fic is what i like to consider as the peak of my skills as fic writer, like i will never be able to write something like that ever again

(A Package and Glass Marble come close tho)

[dusted-star]

I posted 9,249 times in 2022

That's 8,862 more posts than 2021!

138 posts created (1%)

9,111 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@fannish-snailien

@walking-meme

@countingsunflowerpetals

@qu-ilinn

@transsexualhamlet

I tagged 1,392 of my posts in 2022

#genshin - 31 posts

#luka appreciation tag &lt;3 - 13 posts

#sigma appreciation tag - 12 posts

#tgcf - 10 posts

#chaeya - 9 posts

#absolutely - 8 posts

#wow - 8 posts

#prev tags - 7 posts

#misc - 7 posts

#woah - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#kae n luc make me think about jean who makes me think about lisa who makes me think about sucrose and albedo and then i'm having *klee* -

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

if I see one more bonecoin advertisement I'm going to lose it

10 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#4

2ha things that made me scream /pos list

spoilers below~

"Shizun, please pay attention to me." but the original chinese. if i'm getting this right it meant more along the lines of "please acknowledge that I exist"

"Ge, we don't have a shizun anymore" Although this whole scene broke my heart, and probably everyone else's too, the fact that it was Xue Meng who said it-

“You don’t even have to compare yourself to Mo Ran. You can’t even compare to Xu Shuanglin. At the very least, he still had feelings and dared to admit it. He’s not like you, Hua Binan.” you fucking go shizun. although I did really like hua binan, and I nearly cried when he died, it was wonderful to see shizun take a stance.

“I want to do better too, so that I won’t feel too dirty to stand before you, so that at least I’ll be able to lift my head in front of you. But I...I can’t catch up to you..." Mo Ran bb boy forgive yourself pls. You are good enough and your Shizun sees you.

Anyways this was sitting in my drafts for a while and it's still making me insane so <3

10 notes - Posted October 13, 2022

#3

i laugh knowing that as soon as yosano's episodes come out the bsd fandom will rip tear murder me bc they're gonna be sobbing over her backstory and i'm gonna be sexualizing mori in his military uniform so hard-

11 notes - Posted August 5, 2022

#2

I actually wrote something! It is religious trauma filled!

It's vaguely Fyozai, but not,,, romantic? More than platonic, not quite queerplatonic, definitely not romantic.

a short little ficlet ft. a prison conversation

16 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I think us aromantics should get swords on valentine's day

yk. as a treat

43 notes - Posted February 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[note-boom]

can i just say i love your blog so much!! the bsd fandom is as alive as ever and your posts often came up on my recommended and i always loved seeing them, from your analytical takes to your tag rambles and (very very relatable) screaming and crying over the new episodes,, thank you so much for running such a fun blog, i hope you dont mind if i stick around!! i’m so excited to see how the rest of the new season pans out. oh i have a small question! how far into the manga do you think this season would reach?

Oh, well....

Thank you, OP. I....I don't know what to say except thank you and also what do you mean my posts come up in recs???? That's not good!!

But jokes asides, your message really brought a smile to my face and made my day!! Askdkfjdjs....I'm so bad with compliments but I REALLY REALLY appreciate it. Thank you for taking the time to write this thoughtful message! (And, please, people sticking around this here blog? Of course I don't mind!)

As for your question? Oh dear....

From that opening theme, I fear (and hope) we'll get to volume 20. I'm not sure if they're going to stick to a 12 or 13 episode season or go for a 24/26 episode season. But the thing is, this is how they divided each season:

Season 1 - 12 episodes - 2 for the light novel - 16 manga chapters - 4 volumes

Season 2 - 12 episodes + 1 omake - 4 for the light novel - 22/24 chapters - 5 volumes

Season 3 - 12 episodes - 3 for the light novel roughly 18 chapters - 4 volumes

And there are currently 7 volumes and around 39 chapters till That Scene in the OP. So it's either that they were lying to us (pain) and we will get as far around Skyfall/Casino arc somehow, they're going to try and squeeze 7+ (because Bram made an appearance there) volumes into 12 episodes (at least 5 which have been used for Untold Origins and Perfect Crime), or we're going to get a mid season cliffhanger and a few months of waiting after 12 episodes so they can animate 12 more episodes.

But I am hoping we'll reach volume 20 and a bit beyond. Sure it'll kill me but it'll be a fun death?

[just-a-kraken]

I posted 312 times in 2022

That's 303 more posts than 2021!

19 posts created (6%)

293 posts reblogged (94%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caydencrypted

@abandoned-as-mustard

@iwasbored777

@killjoygem

@zephyrine-gale

I tagged 49 of my posts in 2022

#krakenrambles - 16 posts

#the owl house - 13 posts

#toh spoilers - 12 posts

#toh - 9 posts

#the owl house spoilers - 7 posts

#honkai impact - 5 posts

#luz noceda - 3 posts

#amity blight - 3 posts

#honkai impact 3rd - 3 posts

#cat - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 110 characters

#ya know something that controls every part of your life and makes you believe things you don’t want to believe

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

THE OWL HOUSE SPOILERS

!!!!!!!!

The new episode was absolutely amazing and I was screaming the whole way through. Hunter’s arc is everything I hoped for and wanted, pure perfection and the ending where he just starts freaking out, incredible, poetic cinema. Luz’s breakdown when she discovered who belos is was amazing as well and another thing is belos himself. He’s such a good villain, I genuinely love that he believes that what’s he’s doing is right and that he convinced himself that he can never be wrong, and the representation of his child self being him because he acts like a child and never grew out of wanting to hunt witches?? Magnificent.

!!!!!!!!

19 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

#4

New BSD chapter got me like:

Dazai is a Bitch Ass Mother Fucker

I’ve come to make an announcement, Dazai’s a bitch ass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his little quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter. com. Dazai, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: *PFFFFFFFFGJT*. That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON

19 notes - Posted May 1, 2022

#3

If I had the energy to write about how and why I started to like elysia I would but alas… I am lazy. I really did not like her that much at the beginning she really did feel like a fan service but boy her ending (the ending of elysian realm and all the flamechasers in general) made me love her. She reminds me a lot of madoka actually

20 notes - Posted December 7, 2022

#2

THE OWL HOUSE SPOILERS

!!!!!!

What if flapjack belonged to her?? What is she’s a clawthorne and this was her palisman??

!!!!

22 notes - Posted April 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I don’t ship huntlow but for those who do, good on ya!! Yall got fed

74 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[leejeann]

Spoiler warning for the book this time (like the first quarter of it, Google Books says I'm 25% through it)

A fanfic I've been following since before even watching bsd has a "The Flags Ensemble Lives" tag on it. So like as soon as I saw those character's names in the show I was like oh no, but I didn't expect it to be so early in the book, damn. And like, "Doc needs your help" as Doc is far beyond help but Albatross (I think it was?) has no idea because he's so injured and dies thinking he was at least able to save Doc?? Did I understand that right??? That's brutal oh my god

Then like, scenes where a character's going through hell but the world around them doesn't care and is carrying on like normal are always interesting to me, and having the next chapter being Adam's pov feels like such a fascinating twist on that type of scene. Like, Adam's consistently neutral-to-positive demeanor the entire time as you gradually realize he's just walked into their funeral (or it hits you in the face when the book blatantly says so) feels like sitting on a colorful carnival riding watching someone on the ground receive the worst news of their life.

It's interesting to think of how drastically different this whole scene would feel if it was from Chuuya's pov, but showing Adam's instead is also really interesting because that's a MUCH harder one for us to imagine. We can pretty easily picture how Chuuya's pov would sound, or how it might feel to be in that position ourselves, but for Adam's pov? Not so much

Idk if I'm even wording this well but yeah I was in the middle of that scene and it's such a fascinating writing choice I had to ramble about it to someone lol if you read this thanks

I've been reading Stormbringer and with Adam introduced as "a tall man in a blue business suit" then turns out to be someone's odd but upbeat robot employee with little-to-no human social awareness, all I can imagine is:

Also sidenote I decided to use the Read Aloud feature on Google Play Books to continue it on my walk home from work and the TTS voice kept saying Chuuya like "chewuh" help

[vampireonastick]

You have given me a severe brainrot with your theories about traitor/final boss!ango (I mean it in a good way haha--again this was all I was thinking about at work so that's not good ig lol); I rambled in the tags, on your posts and now I popped into your askbox so sorry very much (please feel free to ignore this if you don't feel like answering no worries :) I can't stop vibrating with excitement so I am here hehehe)

1] I always thought there was something odd with the timing of the sprinkler activation (I decided not to nitpick the narration so thanks for reminding me this /is/ bsd) and Pushkin's escape from Mersault but the idea that Mersault could be created from the Page/Book and the Sky Casino is its cover is seriously GENIUS (yes, yes, I am totally in love with your theory bc not only is there no one except these two in the infinity prison but we don't hear any sound from the normal cells during Dazai/Sigma ballroom dance either)

2] Talking of preferential treatment, can it be taken the same for Fyodor being the one getting books to read while Dazai has none? Or, are the books some way for him to communicate with Ango? What are your thoughts?

3] Something else I noticed, and now that I too feel Ango is THE traitor, is that Mushitarou left with Ango from Anne's Room after revealing the DoA plans and has never appeared in the story again iirc? What do you think? I am kinda worried about him; they keep using him and throwing him away/locking him up (and he is easy to manipulate too. He is soft for true friendships and that's what Ango used--)(1/2)

Hello!! Don’t worry I love getting asks so you can send me more anytime you like! And I know how you feel, I thought of a lot of the evidence I used in my theories at work because it’s all I’ve been able to think about the past two weeks lol.

Alright I've written a lot so everything is under the cut. I know you sent me another ask but since I want to keep everything in one place and all cohesive I copy and pasted the points from your other ask into here (I hope that's alright!)

BSD Theory: Expansions/Additions (Mastermind Ango Saga)

Spoilers up until chapter 99 of the manga!!!

1]

Thank you! And yes, lately I’ve been taking every small detail that doesn’t add up or any inconsistency and I’ve been putting it under a microscope. Of course, these may just be small little plot holes, (which wouldn’t be a bad thing, Bungo is full of insanity and unbelievable stretches in logic, that’s why it’s my favourite), but it makes it so much fun for theorizing when you put all these little inconsistencies together and explain them all with some wild theory haha.

2] Fyodor's Books in Prison as Communication to Ango

I completely forgot that Fyodor had books in his cell, that's such a good point!! I think it could absolutely be used as another example of Fyodor’s special treatment while in prison.

As for it being a way to communicate with Ango that would be really interesting. It would make sense since if Ango can read memories held in any object, maybe he can read any of Fyodor’s thoughts he had while holding the book. The only thing is that Meursault is supposed to be in Europe, which is pretty far, and if Ango needs to hold the actual physical book for his powers to work then this method of communication may be unlikely. But it’s Bungo so who knows?? 

3] Mushitarou; Is He In Danger?

Ohhhhh now this is so so so interesting, I’ve been thinking about this for a couple days now and I am hyped!!!

So firstly, I’m not too worried about Mushitarou right now. He’s with Poe so I think he’s in safe hands. Personally, I think Mushitarou’s purpose in the DoA’s master plan was just to move the agency in the direction Fyodor wanted them to go.

Overall, I feel like Mushitarou was a very important pawn in Fyodor’s plan, I think Fyodor intended for him to meet up with the agency members. If you think about it, Fyodor had no real reason to release Mushitarou from his prison at the beginning of the arc in the first place. If he wanted Mushitarou to release his ability that was hiding Dazai’s crimes in order for Dazai to get arrested, I feel he could have easily threatened him into doing so. Fyodor’s ability is terrifying and I don’t feel like Mushitarou is the type of person to hold up well against his life being threatened like that. But Fyodor let him go. Why?

Well the only reason I can think of is that Fyodor needed someone to leak information to the ADA in order to push them in the right direction to fall further into his trap.

Mushitarou is the one who tells Atsushi that the DoA plans to destroy the country using the last page of the book. Atsushi had no idea the page could be used again. If it wasn’t for Mushitarou, Atsushi would have never even considered hunting down the page. Which means he wouldn’t have gone to the Sky Casino (a place Fyodor NEEDED the ADA to go in order to connect them to the coin bomb terrorism they intended to do from there), and he never would have fought Fukuchi, which led to Akutagawa’s death and the start of the vampire outbreak (something else that needed to happen in Fyodor’s master plan).

And this is where Ango comes in. Ango is the one who bullies Mushitarou into giving up all that he knows about the DoA. This panel in particular is very telling:

(I won’t even talk about how manipulative that line “Dostoyevsky wanted to hide behind lies” is in this post, but WOW)

The way I see it, Mushitarou was fed information by Fyodor (without Mushitarou's knowledge he was being used in this way) that had always been intended to reach the ADA in order to move along the plot of Fyodor’s plan. And that’s why Ango met up with Atsushi as soon as he rescued Mushitarou, because he had to ensure Mushitarou gave this information to the ADA. That’s why he was so pushy and manipulative when talking to Mushitarou.

So why Mushitarou? Why couldn’t Ango have come in with all this same information and steer Atsushi to the sky casino? Well, it would be a lot more suspicious coming from Ango. Why would he, a government agent and Dazai’s ally, know so many specific details about the DoA and their plans? But coming from Mushitarou, a scared criminal who was used and left for dead by the DoA, this information is much more believable.

I think now that Mushitarou has passed on all the information to Atsushi that Fyodor and Ango wanted him to, he’s not needed in their plan anymore. Killing him would be a hassle now that he’s safe with Poe, and since all the information he had on the DoA was hand fed to him by Fyodor, he’s not a liability to their master plan, since all he knew was what Fyodor wanted the ADA to know. He also doesn’t seem to have much drive to fight back against Fyodor, he just wants to live a peaceful life away from conflict, which also makes him less of a threat to the DoA. So I think (and desperately hope) that he’ll be safe.

And yes absolutely!! That entire chapter where Mushitarou and Ango first meet is suspicious as hell!! I was reading back through it and the amount that Ango casually manipulates Mushitarou throughout those conversations is insane!! I’m actually working on another post analyzing that chapter and Ango and Mushitarou’s interactions because it’s freaking wild.

4] I guessed it has to be someone on the ADA side who is leaking info to Fyodor coz there are only limited players in the Sky Casino arc; I kinda eliminated the Agency members bc Fukuzawa would have known if they are working for someone else (same as he'd know if one of them died) so I narrowed it down to two. Ango, I assumed since was already the traitor in the Dark Era, it won't be repeated but after reading your theories, I am quite satisfied. The story seems to be filled with points against him. Even then, what do you think about Lucy? I hope she isn't anything more than what she says she is and she is only helping them out of her good heart. (Ango being the one to bring her and Fyodor's "But Montgomery-san is your Queen, right?" feels ominous or maybe, I am just overthinking lol) - fivekrystalpetals (copy pasted from other ask)

I think Lucy is trustworthy. She seems to really care for Atsushi. The two of them have connected very deeply through their shared experiences with similar childhood trauma. She hasn’t really shown any desire for anything other than a place to belong and to be treated like she matters as a human being. She seemed to only be with the guild because she had nowhere better to go. But now that she has met Atsushi and has made some genuine personal connections (like the cafe owner who covers for her when the Hunting Dogs come asking about her - I don’t think he’d do this if he didn’t care for her, even if he did end up giving in at the end), I really don’t see her as a threat or a traitor to the ADA.

Though I am afraid she is being used by Ango and Fyodor. But I think anything bad that happens with Lucy will have to do with her ability and possibly losing Anne’s room then her betraying Atsushi and the others.

5] Similarly, Tsujimura? I haven't read the gaiden so I don't know much about her. But do you think she is with Ango or she doesn't know of his true intentions, simply an overworked subordinate? - fivekrystalpetals (copy pasted from other ask)

Unfortunately I haven’t read Gaiden either so I don’t know much about her either haha. (it’s on my list though, probably after the light novels)

Though even without that context I’m fairly certain at this point Ango is working alone (besides Fyodor of course). He just doesn’t seem like the type to drag others into his bullshit. If he has a master goal I think he’d try to have as few allies as possible. This comes from the idea that those who are untrustworthy are not easily trustful of others. That’s a large part of the reason I think he created Fyodor from the book. If he crafted Fyodor to mirror his own ideals and goals, as well as wrote in Fyodor’s loyalty to him, then he could let Fyodor run wild and do his thing without worrying he’d be betrayed.

6] Oh, and I completely agree with your Dead Apple observation. If Fyodor assumed Dazai was dead and Ango sent Chuuya to fight the Dragon assuming he too would die? They must have wanted to eliminate Soukoku in one swoop; unfortunately for them, Chuuya is quite tenacious haha - fivekrystalpetals (copy pasted from other ask)

Yes that would have been a great way to eliminate Sokouku if it wasn’t for Dazai screwing up their plan with that antidote pill haha.

But also, sending Chuuya after Dazai in Dead Apple might have been a way for Ango and Fyodor to test Chuuya and Dazai’s loyalty and trust to one another. Which could be why Chuuya was chosen to be sent to Meursault to help Fyodor in the prison fight. They may have figured it would shake Dazai up to see the one person he has always been able to rely on to be changed into a mindless creature. And would also eliminate the possibility of Chuuya coming to save Dazai if he hadn’t been turned into a vampire.

(There is more ig but I forget atm. Can I send you another ask if I remember? You might already be overwhelmed with this lol sorry! Thanks for all your theories; I really love your thinking :))) (2/2) //fivekrystalpetals (copy pasted from other ask)

Yes you can absolutely send more asks!! I love how much this theory is growing from everyone adding on to it and pointing more things out I’ve overlooked.

Also I went back and read through the tags you left on the reblogs of my posts. (sorry for not responding to them earlier, i read all the tags i get on reblogs the second i get them XD which also means if i was busy before checking i forget what was said in them which is a problem lol. Anything I find interesting I also tend to set aside because i feel like i could expand on them more into a full theory so i want to save them till i have time to write them up properly. But it might actually be easier and more efficient to expand on these points as I go and then write up a master theory later than trying to start at the finished product XD. So Yeah, basically thank you for the tags!! They were super fun to read through!) I really wanted to talk about some of the things you brought up because they are super interesting, so I figured I’d reply to them here if that’s alright!!

Sigma’s Ability

Alright so I have two theories as to why Sigma’s ability seems like such an equal trade off when it could have been more powerful.

It needs a drawback in order to work. With how the book works (in my understanding, I may be wrong), things can not just be taken from it, the people who write in it need to put in personal effort in order for the events to be carried out. So maybe, Sigma’s ability can’t just take information, he needs to give information in order to keep things equal and balanced.

It doesn’t have a drawback, we just don’t know how it really works. Instead of Sigma’s ability being “an exchange of information; gaining the information you most want to know in exchange for the information your enemy most want to know”, it could actually be “an exchange of information; gaining the information you most want to know in exchange for the information you most want your enemy to know”. So essentially, getting the information you want and giving the information you want (with whatever information your enemy wants being irrelevant)

To further expand on this second point. When Atsushi wakes up after being given the information from Sigma’s ability, he says “I have figured out the page's location.” But when he touched Sigma, and the ability was activated, he had believed that Sigma had the page. So why would the information he most wants to know be the location of the page if he already thought he knew where it was? (also if they thought Sigma had the page on him why didn’t they go and collect it from Sigma’s body from where he would’ve hit the ground?? Random thought I had. Kinda odd). Anyway, the information he got from Sigma sent him off to hunt Fukuchi, which as we know, didn’t end well (RIP Aku). So yeah, maybe we were lied to about Sigma’s ability and it’s just another way to spread false info to the ADA.

Ango and the Seventh Agency

YES YES YES OMG I totally believe this too!! It honestly wouldn’t surprise me if the entire ‘seventh agency’ is literally just Ango.

[nana-774]

⮀

[awkward-kouyou-blog]

Announcement

So, season 3 drops tomorrow *in 21 hours to be exact yes i use anime live chart to keep track of stuff*and I want to take the time to inform you that I won't be a spoiler-free blog, regardless of wether we just kick off right were season 2 ended - which means the possibility of getting Queen Kouyou as at least an after the credits moment is kinda high - or the rumors about 55 Minutes are true and we get that extra backstory good stuff, I won't shut up about it. I will do my best to tag the spoilers as #bsd s3 spoilers so do make sure to blacklist that.

Queen Kouyou is returning my dears, and I shall enjoy all of those 10 minutes I'll have it~ 🌸 - Bex

[nameless-shrimp]

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘, 𝐈𝐓'𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐃 𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 — CHUUYA NAKAHARA

↳ PAIRING: Chuuya Nakahara x GN! Reader

↳ TYPE: one-shot

↳ WORD COUNT: 3.5k

↳ WARNINGS: no spoilers, mild suggestive talk, partners to lovers, swearing, mentions of a one night stand in the past, drinking, smoking

↳ SYNOPSIS: Chuuya convinces you to stay with him when it's too cold outside. However, he has feelings for you, so how can he express that? At the same time, how could you express your feelings about him?

↳ AUTHOR’S NOTES: i wrote this in two hours be nice, idk what i was doing but i was desperate to write my bsd fics for the holiday season coming up so here you go <3

Chuuya’s eyes dragged along at the ticking clock, with the saccharine cigarette scent that aroused the coffee table. He told himself to sleep early tonight, but when you fancied yourself a visit to his place, he had his own restless idea of falling into an endless spell.

The clock ticked; the window cried in ease from the harsh breezes ripping to the glass. Christmas wreaths decorated right over his fireplace, much to his taste, where his entire apartment was dangling in nothing but faint maroons and silver bells. With your eyes widening at his extra bit to his interior, he sucked right into the touch—only placing out the most exquisite decorations right suited for your taste.

Even so, the man was struck over heels. He partnered with you—and that was the deal. Nothing more, nothing less. Only Chuuya bit his lip at that, and he always kept himself back but most days, did your lips look more softer than usual? Or did you typically hide your face like that—with him? He never knew, though he paid more mind, just a tad bit as the weekends ran by.

“It’s really cold out there.”

Your words caught him off guard, and he whisked away from the scent of cigarettes in his home by rubbing the one in his hand on the dirty ashtray. “Shit, yeah it is,” Chuuya chuckled, grinning. “Yet you find yourself here.”

“Only simply because you have the wine,” your eyes rolled. Fuck. He wished that the spell had broken for him—but he also didn’t catch on the line to complain any further. “I fancy a man that has a great taste in alcohol.”

“And that man is me,” he chuckled. “Right?”

“I said you had wine, not that you had the best,” you tapped your ears. “Do you listen?”

“How cute,” he snarled, tipping his fedora. “Still gon’ act so funny with me even when we aren’t working?”

“It’s our weekend off,” you dipped further into the stool, arms resting on the marble countertop. “Maybe we can go for a few days without bickering at each other? Thought you said Dazai was the worst, did you not?”

“He is,” Chuuya argued, shaking his head. ���But you’re still a headache—sometimes.”

“At least it’s not all the time.”

“I take my words back, actually.”

You gasped. “Rude. Maybe I can bid my farewell to the door.”

“Now, now,” Chuuya quipped, raising a hand before he hopped down from his kitchen stool. “You came over for a drink, let me grant you one.”

“Only if you stop being a dick every once in a while.”

“I’m not an asshole. I tease.”

“As do I.”

“You do not.”

“I ought to say, no, no, sir,” you joked, trailing a hand before sighing. “But the wind is really kicking it outside. I should get home.”

Chuuya sighed, walking past you before reaching his cabinet. “You came for wine, so you’re staying here until you get a glass. And at least, let me walk you to the bus stop after you look sober enough to walk out my door, ‘kay?”

Your mouth opened to retort, though you simply decided to tag along with Chuuya’s words. A man so devoted with his gravity ability, and even your mind dragged into jokes about why he couldn’t act so cool and fancy by using his own ability to grab ahold of the wine bottles.

Though Chuuya was immersed with his own acts. He pranced to the countertop, dark green bottle in hand right before the touch of raspberry wine to fall right into the fragile wine glasses. The way his lips pursed in determination—such a weird man with an odd obsession with the fine tastes of expensive alcohol. He was witty in rare instances; he never agreed, only stating “Dazai was the witty fucker”, but you found yourself finding his own antics to be quite charming.

Was Chuuya doing too much for his own purpose? He knew that his heart was fond of you. Maybe that he was a person that had an interest in his own partner—hobbies, favorite color, where you’d like to go shopping for new clothes. Little wishful thinking. The kind of thoughts that Chuuya tended to puff out in nothing but smoke clouds and bitter cigarettes.

However, the spotlight was on you. He couldn’t dwell too deep into his own peculiarity. Wine. You. And two open seats near his crackling fireplace. That was the main point. ‘How delightful for you to drop in,’ he thought, following a smirk once he filled his glass to the tip.

So fucking odd.

Emotions were a rollercoaster—only for him.

“Have a glass,” Chuuya said, placing the bottle back on the counter. “We can hang out by the fireplace.”

You blinked. “Oh, so romantic. I’ll stay for a little bit, but I don’t think I can finish all of—”

“Hey, just a few sips is fine,” he shrugged. “That leaves more for me.”

And you took the glass, following his trail to the leather couch which radiated nothing but sweet heat while indulging your body into his Christmas pillows. Arousing illumination of yellow lights from the hanging bulbs around the fireplace along with the kiss of the orange blaze. You wondered if he had prepped such a boisterous and flamboyant decoration setup simply for you.

Because Chuuya never gave a damn who entered his home and, well—this was your second visit. From his words in the past, you recalled that he never gave a damn for home decoration or that he was too busy with the mafia to blink once about good furniture. Though, a man with a charming attitude towards you—sometimes—and with a fairly acceptable taste in fashion, he must have an itch for nice home decor.

After all, the fireplace was lit, and the joys of Christmas spirit were all over the living room. Let alone the half-eaten Gingerbread house in the kitchen.

(He said he didn’t take a bite after building it, but you called him a liar earlier on.)

Chuuya sipped his glass. “So, why the visit?”

“I just wanted to come by for alcohol, remember?” Your voice dragged. “I don’t remember you telling me that you put all these...” your hand trailed around to signal the wreaths on the wall and the glowing Christmas tree in the corner, radiating nothing but yellows and crimson. “Decorations up.”

He coughed into his glass. It wasn’t like he had just put it all the same day you were meant to come over—not at all. “M’just tryin’ to do something new with my place here,” his teeth gritted. “It gets dull and boring just walking around nothing when it’s the holiday season.”

“Sure,” you nodded, twirling your glass. “So, you didn’t just put all of this up today? Right when you knew I was going to stop by after like—I don’t know, two hours ago?”

“No,” his head shook. “Not at all.”

(Liar.)

“You have a tendency to try to impress me,” you said. “I noticed every time we work.”

“Hey now, don’t talk all drunk when you haven’t had a sip yet,” Chuuya retorted.

Your eyes rolled. “You’re avoiding the topic.”

Shit.

His heart raced; eyes widening. “I am not,” he groaned. “Let’s just have a toast, yeah?”

“Oh, really?” You exhaled. “What’s the special occasion?”

“To our partnership in the mafia.”

“You say that like it’s a good thing.”

“Alright, you wanna be an ass?” He laughed, sipping his wine once more. “Or are we gonna make a toast?”

You smiled. “To our partnership, partner.”

“Right back at you.”

The clank of wine glasses echoed across the living room.

And you took in a sip. Sweet roses to your nose, but the taste was nothing but a pungent taste of raspberry, much as the label on the wine bottle noted. Fighting back a cough, you exhaled sharply, letting the small sting of alcohol wash down your throat. Chuuya followed suit with a drink of his glass as well, slowly taking in much more than he anticipated.

“Say,” you grinned. “What’s in this drink?”

Chuuya scoffed, fedora nearly tipping down from his head. “What? You think I drugged you?”

“No,” you laughed, waving a hand. “It tastes really sharp but really good at the same time.”

“I have good taste in alcohol, what can I say?”

“Well, kudos to you, Chuu,” you raised your glass. “I should come over more often.”

He laughed. “You really want to?”

“Sure,” you nodded. “This welcome has been so nice and warm.”

“Say,” his head tilted. “Should I get another glass?”

Chuuya stared at his empty glass, pouting slightly right before the alcohol took a kick to his head. He didn’t bother reading what the percentage was on the bottle, and now with one glass in, he’s already feeling the adrenaline die down to nothing but a smug smirk. ‘Shit, shit, fucking hell—’ as if he wasn’t attempting to embarrass himself when you were around, but. Too late.

He levitated the bottle from the kitchen to the living room with his ability, red aura coming out from his body right before he watched the bottle slowly tip to pour more of the liquid into his empty glass. You watched, eyes fascinated with his widened ones—where his eyes twinkled in delight. You weren’t sure if it was because of you close to him or if it was on his end for starting to feel a bit on edge.

The knock of the breeze outside startled you, causing him to laugh out loud; throat raspy right before a hiccup followed after. “The alcohol really kicks in this drink,” Chuuya laughed. “Sorry. Should’ve checked the percentage rate.”

“It’s fine,” you responded. “I only took a sip. I don’t feel too tipsy.”

“Even if you had to stay over, I wouldn’t mind it.”

You blinked, lips parting. “I don’t think that’d be a good idea…”

“Why not?” He watched the bottle slowly sit on the table after his glass was refilled, only to take a harsh gulp of wine once more. “It’s cold outside. I can keep you warm.”

“Sleeping at my coworker’s place sounds a bit… much, doesn’t it?”

“Not to me,” Chuuya shrugged. “Things happen, love. Can’t help when certain circumstances come up. If you gotta crash here, feel free to.”

“Did you just—” you were about to ask, but your lips shut in an instant. “Nevermind.”

“No, tell me.”

“I should go,” you laughed, fighting your heart racing while his fedora tumbled down to the couch; orange-blazing hair tousled around with his fairly unbuttoned top. “Don’t think I should stay any longer.”

Chuuya sighed. “It’s cold. At least stay for a little longer, or you’ll freeze out there.”

“It’s only going to get colder later, Chuu.”

“Beautiful, what’s your hurry?” He asked, rubbing his forehead. “You just got here less than an hour ago and you’re already thinking about leaving.”

“I just wanted to stop by for a drink,” you noted. “That’s it, really.”

“Yet you took one sip.”

“It’s a bit strong for me.”

“Like I said, more for me, right?” He laughed loudly, voice echoing—an unusual melody to your ears while your breath hitched when Chuuya leaned closer to your figure. “I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I hope you know that.”

You gulped, showing off a lip bite. “I know, I just think… we both know this night might end in the opposite direction.”

He raised a brow. “What’re you on about?”

You wanted to mentally smack him. Not like there had been one time in the past where you slept with your partner—only due to sexual tendencies and unfortunate frustration built up between you two. Not that you wanted to reject it. With Chuuya, no—absolutely, no way. The man was nothing but a pleasure and always moaned sweet nothings so soothingly to your ears. As if your emotions couldn’t boil any further.

Fucker.

“Nothing,” you sighed, turning away. “Nevermind.”

“Sorry,” Chuuya chuckled, rubbing his nose. “M’feelin’ it, a little bit…”

“One glass hit you hard, huh?” You laughed, looking down at your own glass—barely touched with the lip stain near the edge. “Must be really high on that alcohol percentage then.”

“No kidding,” he groaned, placing his glass down. “I’m sorry for acting funny.”

“It’s cute,” you responded, turning away. “Don’t worry about it.”

He blinked. “What did you say?”

“I should go,” you coughed, putting your glass on the coffee table. “I’d better scurry.”

Right when you stood up from the couch, Chuuya grabbed ahold of your wrist, causing you to glance down to watch his hair flutter further down to meet his collarbone. Those buttons. His top was barely buttoned up—and fuck. The nerve of the bastard. He was totally playing along with your heart—most likely trying to match his heartbeat with yours.

“Hey beautiful, please don’t hurry,” he smirked. “We haven’t talked for long.”

“We talk whenever we do missions all the time. I’m kind of in a ru—”

“But baby, it’s cold outside.”

Your eyes enlarged. “Call me that again.”

“What?” He grinned. “Baby?”

“Why’d you say that?”

Chuuya scoffed playfully, eyes working with their magic—his heart raced further into his feelings once more. “I like to call you pet names. Tell me, which one is your favorite?”

“Chuu,” you sternly said. “You’re drunk.”

“Barely.”

“A good amount of drunk, I’d say so.”

“No,” he argued, shaking his head. “You talk too much.”

“I simply must go.”

Chuuya let your wrist go, where he raised his hands up in surrender before glancing down once more at his glass. “At least stay for a tiny bit longer,” he laughed, grabbing a box of cigarettes from his back pocket. “Maybe just a cigarette more? Then I’ll walk you to the bus stop.”

“Okay,” you retorted, biting your lip. “Fine.”

Chuuya had his way with words—let alone throwing in his emotions to you. Of course, he knew of his feelings for you, though his mind always remained in harsh denial because that’s what he typically enjoyed in this sense. A stubborn bastard who was so devoted to not believing that he loved you because it was Chuuya—could this man ever find love within his heart? At least, some sprinkle of it during the holiday season?

He only wanted to share it with you, but—it wasn’t like he wanted to admit that, anyway.

“You want to escape me so bad, yeah?” Chuuya murmured with the cigarette dancing between his teeth. You watched him fiddle with his lighter, only to see the cocky grin arise—tongue hitting the end of his cigarette. “Somethin’ wrong with me?”

“No,” you responded, voice raising. “It’s just that I—”

‘Like you… a lot?’

Could you say those words to him—could you?

The silence creeps in from your harsh interruption of stopping yourself mid-sentence, where the wind nearly brushed a load of snow right at his window. The night roared further in; your knees shook.

“You…?” Chuuya’s voice dragged on after he lit his cigarette, wailing it around with his hand. “Don’t leave me hangin’ now, love.”

“You’re just annoying.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, but—okay,” he shrugged, right before grabbing onto his glass. Chuuya took a sip, diving into the liquid for a brief moment of numbness. “Hey, I gotta ask you something at least.”

You sighed, grabbing onto the nearest pillow only to fidget with the cloth. And your heart was beating uncontrollably—where the bubbly feeling was swirling within your chest. ‘He had to look so good tonight…’ you thought.

“Yeah,” you said. “Say it.”

“When we work together, you seem more nervous around me than usual. You don’t act like that with Akutagawa or even the boss. So, what gives?”

Your eyes widened. “Like I said, you’re just annoying.”

“You can barely look at me when we’re working together and you’re hiding your face.”

“Remember that we slept with each other once?”

Chuuya’s cigarette nearly dropped, causing the wine glass to drop from his other hand only to have his ability activate to grab ahold of the glass right before it could stain his rug. “I mean yeah,” he coughed awkwardly. “One time. But we swore to not talk about it again, right?”

You gulped. “Yeah.”

“So, why bring it up today?”

‘Say something,’ you thought. “Ah, I just wanted to tell you that…” your voice trailed off, causing your lip to bite where your eyes shut immediately. Chuuya noted the uncomfortable reaction, only to have him reach a hand out and rub the cigarette out on the ashtray resting on his coffee table.

“Listen,” Chuuya sighed. “If you need to talk about anything, you know I’m here, right? Even if we just work together, you’re still a friend to me.”

‘Friend… right,’ he thought.

His heartbeat quickened.

Perhaps—is there a possibility of something more?

“There’s something you’re not telling me,” Chuuya said, levitating his filled glass back to the table. “But I won’t lie, there’s something I’m not telling you either.”

You watched him, only to have him rub his cigarette out after smoking it halfway through. Not very typical of him to do. Although, nothing can beat your mind to it—no more denial, no more lies; the harsh truth would have been revealed. Even at some point, due to the memory of him not fading—never could a man express himself so much, even through the movements in bed and the gentle words that he shared to you that night.

Nothing felt cold, lost—but rather, it was right. Right for your taste. The honeyed praise. God, you wanted him—not for sex, but for something more. Brighter. And Chuuya knew that he wanted it too. Now, with two people that had difficulty expressing their words in front of the fireplace with an incoming snowstorm from outside, exactly—what could go wrong?

You exhaled. “Can you go first then?”

“Let me see something,” Chuuya said, only to have him move closer to your presence where your body dipped further into the couch—practically lying down. Hitched breaths from your throat caused Chuuya to grin in satisfaction. Cocky. But sexy at the same time. And he hovered over you, only to watch the glow within your eyes.

“Ah,” you gulped. “What did you need to see?”

“Your pretty face up close.”

“Chuuya.”

“Your lips look delicious,” he murmured. “Would it be a shame if I placed my own on yours?”

“I—” you exhaled. “I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

And he fell right into the kiss, connecting your lips with his—heat pooling within his chest along with yours while his palm caressed the edge of your jaw. The crackle of the fire soothed his heart—emotions letting loose from one simple action. And Chuuya smiled within the kiss, causing him to pull back to reveal a softhearted smile, even from when his hair is tousled all over his shoulders.

“I love you,” Chuuya confessed, blinking. “I really love you. And I’m gonna be a man who’s now tipsy to tell you that I love you and I want you to stay over at my place because I don’t want you freezing out there.”

“I think I love you too,” you blinked.

“I know you do.”

“But, really, I think I should—”

“You should stay with me,” Chuuya murmured, now sitting up on the couch to grab your wrists and pull you up; noses close enough to touch. “And also be mine. Not just for this Christmas, but for a good amount of time. Forever, hopefully.”

You smiled, letting out a laugh. Heat rising from your neck to cheeks. “Sounds like a deal. There’s bound to be talk at work, though.”

“Let them talk,” Chuuya said, continuing to smile. “Don’t care. So as long as I have you, beautiful.”

“Such a romantic.”

“Shut up,” he quipped, only to peck a kiss upon your lips. “But baby, it’s cold outside. So you should stay—here with me.”

“Fine,” you grinned, giving in before falling into his chest. Expensive cologne lingered around your nose. “I’ll stay.”

Chuuya always fumbled with his words. Happily, he hugged back, falling into the realization that he actually confessed. And on your end, you felt the same—portraying the affection through a tight hug. Warmth growing within his heart, as he continued to share it with yours. An unusual feeling of endearment, right when the storm kicks in further from the outside, but with this sweet relish, Chuuya didn’t complain. Not once.

Instead, he only hugged tighter.

And asked, “let’s keep drinking then? A toast to our new love?”

You laughed agreeably. “Sure.”

He grinned, only to place a kiss upon your lips once more.

“Well, that took a lot of convincing.”

tags: @whorefordazai @tender-rosiey @internetkilledtheroxstar @sadcannibal @sonder-paradise @pompompurin1028 @tetsustation @milky-toast @missrown @requiem626k @jessbeinme15 @kyuus4ku @kiyokoxd @dazaiaiko @kazubxnii @chuuyasboots @nullified-kiss @mikasackrmann @n1kolaiz @bungoustraypugs @sebtomm @scul-pted @sky-drgn