#*proceeds to use this to shamelessly promote some fics*
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ildi-dragonheart · 1 year ago
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @frankenjoly omg thanks i just got home from school i need this
1. How many works do you have on ao3?
I have 57 rn and i still can't believe i have that many fics,, it used to be more than that but i had deleted some of my older fics for an old fandom i was once in
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
127,635 words (and counting hopefully once i get out of this slump)
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Right now i mainly write for BSD. I used to write for the fantastic beasts and where to find them fandom from 2018 to the first half of 2020 but i stopped cuz i left (you can still find my fics for that fandom in my ao3 and wattpad profiles)
4. Top five fics by kudos
Bored (BSD) - a little domestic fluff fic feat. Ranpo being perpetually bored while Akiko is busy working
A Night at the Scamander Household (Fantastic Beasts) - wherein the Newt and Tina are awoken in the middle of the night by their youngest son who's unable to sleep
Tattoos and Soulmates (Fantastic Beasts) - newtina soulmate au where you have matching tattoos with your soulmate
Lay All Your Love on Me (or not) (Fantastic Beasts) - watch as Achilles Tolliver tries to get Tina Goldstein's attention and fails (spoiler: she's already taken)
Books, Rain, and You (Fantastic Beasts) - in an effort to get out of the heavy rain, Tina finds herself in a cozy library with an adorable librarian. they bond over books and then some
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes, but not always. I like interacting with those who read my fics and seeings their comments just motivates me to write more
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
i mostly write fluff but i have tried my hand at writing angst although i'm not sure if those fics count as that cuz i feel like i don't have the skill to properly convey the angsty feelings for it to be considered angst
but if i had to choose out of all the attempts i made at angst, i'd say If "Happy Ever After" Did Exist, I Would Still Be Holding You Like This and Con Flores (Te Llevaste Mi Tristeza Con Colores)
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
again, i write fluff so basically all of them have happy endings or are just generally happy overall. i can't really pick one of them dasjkgkas
8. Do you get hate on fic?
i hope not... that's literally one of my writing anxieties, especially when i write a fic involving an oc i have for a fandom (like Edogawa Hotaru, for example)
9. Do you write smut?
i think i tried writing once although it wasn't a fanfic. i cringed hard and never tried writing smut for a fic again. but if you guys saw my character ai chats involving my ships-
10. Do you write crossovers?
no
11. Have you ever stolen a fic?
i hope not. i always try to make sure all my works are original, but if i do take inspo from another fic i always make sure to ask
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
yes! i think i had two or three fics translated some time ago by other people online (with my permission ofc) and that honestly makes me feel so proud??
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no and i feel too shy to do so😭
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
ranposano, obviously (and a genshin rarepair i have that i am a little too afraid to say cuz genshin fandom)
15. What's a WIP you want to finush but probably won't?
so. many. WIPS. please. send me motivation.
16. What are your writing strengths?
never-ending inspiration i guess. i once got a "this is the fic i/we never knew i/we needed" comment on a ranposano fic that i wrote because i had my period and that just made me realize that wow i pull my ideas from literally everywhere
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
procrastination, my inconsistent english grammar, and constantly setting standards that are a little too high whenever i write something
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?
i'm fine with it ig? englsih is my second language and i don't usually write full dialogues in another language. i usually only include words in another language but never full dialogues
19. First fandom you wrote for?
believe it or not, i used to write fanfics for the rise of the brave tangled frozen dragons fandom, mainly jelsa (but i never published any of them my 10 year old self was too scared)
20. Favorite fic you've written?
omg Lost and Found my beloved ranposano fic daksgdkas that fic is what i like to consider as the peak of my skills as fic writer, like i will never be able to write something like that ever again
(A Package and Glass Marble come close tho)
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mintseesaw · 5 years ago
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Aurora | 1
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aurora - n. dawn Pairing: jungkook!general x reader!princess Genre: angst, fluff, historical au, joseon dynasty au, established relationship au, secret love affair au Warnings: heavily themed angst, mentions of corresponding punishments for certain committed misdeed, cursing Word count: 7.5k Summary: A story which centers on a forbidden love in the midst of centuries-long battle of power and greed. Disclaimer: based on King Sejong’s time but is fictional and not historically accurate Note: If you are not familiar with korean historical setting, you may refer to the translations I provided at the end of some terms used in the fic that may sound unfamiliar to some.
one | two
*unedited
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Fate is a mere imaginary force, perhaps, created by entities living in this world, as fictitious as happiness, as treacherous as love. While hope brings you a strong faith of anticipation to the uncertain, the endless cycle of waiting only gives you the bittersweet acceptance in return.
There was no regret behind the years of your wasted youth amidst the inescapable obligation of being an object of possession under a political truce— the truth that you have to live from the guise of a royal birth.
You kept your promise, and until time and your royal duty comes in between, you will stay faithful to your words.
Two years after ascending to the throne, King Namjoon started establishing ports and posts alongside strict military power on the borders of Joseon. However, the immeasurable extent of the rising mutiny on the northern border further pushed the ruler to multiply the military presence on each border, of which was kept hidden from the commoners to prevent stirring fear in his constituents.
The news spread like a wildfire inside the palace, and into the households of the government officials, bearing in mind the warning the message it carries, it being a confidential matter.
When the king made the official pronouncement, the princes, and military officials, alongside the ruler’s advisors, were all present in the courtroom.
Learning about the king’s decision, Prince Taehyung ought to keep the news from the princess— the youngest child of the present ruling queen, the Queen Mother, and the late king.
However, the unavoidable presence of the court ladies who are serving the royal family, made it seem difficult to hide the truth from you. 
Two days after the edict was released, one of the court ladies, who happens to be a second degree cousin of General Jeon innocently shared the information to you, not knowing it will affect you, greatly. Your relationship with him has been kept for a long time, anyway.
“W-What did you say?” The same court lady, who was currently serving you a cup of tea, freezes midair as she caught up the tone in your voice. As you notice the reluctance in her expression, you didn’t wait for her to repeat what you had clearly heard the first time.
You rose from your seat with urgency, waving your hand in a dismissive gesture toward them as you quickly strutted out of your chamber. Although shocked by your sudden action, the servants quickly caught up with you, tailing behind as you took the direction to your brother’s study.
Shortly after, you arrive before his study, Prince Taehyung’s servants immediately bowed to you as form of greeting.
The prince was occupied on his canvas, determined to finish the piece before the midnight rolls when he heard Officer Sung announced the arrival of his sister. The brush locked between his fingers as he was about to stroke its end on the canvas halted midair.
When the doors flew open, he was met with your frown and a clearly disturbed disposition. He stood, abandoning his piece of work, waiting for the servants to leave them alone inside before he began talking.
“What brings you at this hour, little flower?” He asks in a curious tone. Deep inside, he already had a clue why.
“You knew, didn’t you?” You whisper, choking the tears that were threatening to pour onto your cheeks.
Taehyung stares at you for a while, surveying the hurt evident on your face before deeply sighing.
“I understand it would affect you this way.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? J-Jungkook… Tell me he isn’t part of the—“
There’s no use to keep it anymore when you already heard pieces of it. “The king designated him to lead the northern border.” He warily announces, although he knew it wouldn’t matter how cautious he’d reveal it because it would hurt you, regardless.
Your eyes widening, palms fly toward your mouth to cover your gasps, hearing the answer you hoped you wouldn’t hear.
You are aware of the suspected cases of mutiny on the borders and along the waters where traders and merchants meet. The political scholars do not keep these significant issues from you during your studying sessions, regarding the possibility of being a future queen of another nation, literacy in every field has also been supplied to you alongside your brothers, the princes and the king.
“Princess, it couldn’t be avoided. It’s Jungkook’s duty to protect our nation.” He tries to console, closing the distance to give a comforting hug.
“He is guarding the palace— the royal family… the king. Isn’t that a part of his duty?” You wept in his embrace, mumbling in despair, “He didn’t even tell me, do I not matter to him, anymore?”
“Hush, little flower. Of course, that punk loves you. Otherwise, he wouldn’t hesitate to leave the capital to carry out his duty.” He says, not releasing you. He could only hope he could take away the pain in your heart.
Among everyone living in the palace, it was only him who had witnessed how your love for his best friend has blossomed through time. Unlike Jungkook who had been admiring you from a far long ago, you shamelessly admitted your feelings for him when you were 14.
Several years later, Jungkook still owns your heart despite the complicated situation, and the path he chose to take only made it more twisted than ever. Jungkook’s father died while in his duty protecting the king against officials who once challenged the ascension. Following his father’s footsteps, he partook the military.
His decision deeply scarred you because it only means it will be impossible to marry him, unless the king has consented it. However, it is rare for a ruling monarch to allow such because it’ll only mean losing their birthright in exchange of their betrothal with a low-ranking official.
Little rendezvous, love letters and stolen kisses didn’t stop the two of you following Jungkook’s promotion as the general of the national defense a year ago. But today, the horrid thought of him being in imminent danger in the battlefield dreads you.
Prince Taehyung escorted you back to your chamber once you had calmed down. He didn’t want to leave you while you are grieving, but he figures you needed the time alone.
That night, you couldn’t sleep with the heaviness of your heart.
You need to see him.
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“Your Majesty,” you softly greeted once you entered the courtroom, lowering your head with grace before lifting your eyes back up to the throne where the king was busy reading the council’s daily reports. 
He lightly nods his head, acknowledging your presence. “Princess, you should be resting by now.” It was late, and you initially went to his chamber only to realize that the king was still in the courtroom, fulfilling his duties.
“As you should, Your Majesty.”
The king smiled, listening to the delicate voice of his little sister. He realizes, he missed being graced your refreshing presence. He had been used to it before, you lurking around in the bookshelves in his study while he was occupied, searching for books which he had all read, asking him numerous questions about certain literary works you had grew fond of like himself until he was too tired to answer anymore. After ascending his throne, he is only able to see his family on special gatherings, unless they purposely visit him.
“Perhaps, you have something to tell your brother?” He inquires, his eyes remain on the scroll as they skim over the texts written in the paper.
With soft monotonous tone, you proceeded to speak. “If you’ll allow me, Your Majesty.”
“Go on,”
“I read a particular decree dated three days ago. I have questions, if you will hear me, Your Majesty.” You asserted generally to avoid suspicion from the other attentive ears inside the courtroom.
It was that time when he lifted his gaze to meet your nervous ones.
He turns to the eunuch who was quietly standing on your right, his side facing you. “Leave us.” Officer Han lifted his head, surprise to hear the sudden command of the king. He quietly obeyed, gesturing to the advisors to follow the king’s order.
“I see, you’ve learned about the news. I may have to order your teachers not to let you dwell much on these political matters. You are a delicate flower in our family and I still wish to witness you blossom more.” It may be necessary for you to have a clear overview on the politics for your future fate, but the king would want you to enjoy your time as the princess in your own home before you’re married off to another prince.
“I appreciate your care, Your Majesty.” You lower your head, lips quivering.
King Namjoon leans his back on his seat, scrutinizing the figure in front of his throne. It was not too hard to recognize the state you’re in, similar to the officials he meets here when they are being questioned.
“Princess, tell me what bothers you.” There, he used his brotherly tone, the one which used to be his way to coax you to open up to him before.
You stayed silent, thoughtful on how to address the purpose of your visit. It took a while before you gain the strength to utter the name of the man you dearly love. “General Jeon… w-will lead the north?”
Hearing your words, the king’s shoulders tensed. “We have talked about this before. Did you defy your brother to proceed your affair with General Jeon?” His expression hardens at your silence.
“I-I…” You stammer, eyes wide innocently.
He throws the scroll on his table, now fully directing his attention to you, drawing a long sigh like your father once did, when you were once caught wandering outside the palace.
“You did,” He confirms to himself in a whisper, before his head tilted back as his eyes momentarily closed to control his frustration. “I must punish General Jeon on your behalf.”
Your eyes widened, chills running down your spine. “Your Majesty!” You exclaimed, horrified by the king’s conclusion to the matter.
“The Great Queen Dowager is protective of you. Grandmother will not accept an order from me to punish you, herself, for your misbehavior. You are not to get involved with any man, ______.” He reminds you. Not only was the queen dowager adores the lone princess, but their father, as well.
You are aware of that. Perhaps, it was the reason why the palace, your supposed home, became a sickening form of solitude for you. You wish you had been treated the same way as your brothers, while they grew up in a rough setting as a form of their training, you envy their mental toughness aside from their trained physical skills and strength. Perhaps, it was the reason behind your father’s endearment for you, little flower. Because you’re a weak princess.
Being favored is not a privilege when you are expected to be good at all costs. Jungkook, despite the social status that separates you both, became your sense of euphoria. He allowed you to see the glimpse of his life, the horrible and ugly side of his life. He showed tenderness in his affection towards you, but he sees you beyond your status. 
Jungkook, leaving the capital to guard the borders without the assurance of making it out alive, will cause you in complete desolation.
A dull but prominent numbness spreads on the king’s heart as the air fills the suffocating silence, while seeing your welled-up eyes.
“Why the tears, little flower? You are making me feel like I’m a heartless brother.”
“Can you.. Can you stop him from leaving?” You falter, swallowing the lump forming in your throat.
“General Jeon already knew his fate, Princess. He will eventually leave the palace to be where he is— on the battlefield. Just like you are here in the palace. Why you have hoped in pursuit of his love, is beyond me.”
The tiny hope you carry before you have entered the courtroom vanishes along the feeble strength you gathered to control your emotions. 
Even with your crumbling facade, he continues to speak, choosing to be a wise king rather than your caring brother. “Heed my advice when I tell you your connection with General Jeon will do more harm to him than to you. The inner court will always be merciful to you, but the state council will not be as forgiving to the young general.”
The truth struck you harshly more than ever, pain swallowing you whole as the impact of his words resonated within you. You waited until the king dismissed you.
It was wrong from the start, you have hoped for it. 
Jungkook will never be yours.
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In a rare circumstance, Jungkook has been staying in the Jeon household for three days straight. Because of his post at the north, the king was kind enough to give the soldiers some time off their duties, as if it is a farewell for their families. In Jungkook’s case, he doesn’t see it as his death. He sees it as his duty to protect the nation, and he’ll make sure to come back for his family, for you.
Jungkook is wiping his sword clean using a piece of rug cloth, killing some time off before coming to the palace to visit you in particular, a bunch of freshly picked peonies from his mother’s garden lying beside the stool where he was seated. He will give it to his princess when the sun sets under the guise of seeing his friend, Prince Taehyung.
His time off was duly spent through fulfilling heavy chores to help his mother. While she bought food supplies and new sets of threads and fabrics in the market for her weaving, he carried her purchases. After that, he did small repairs on the house to strengthen its foundation and trekked to the mountain to gather firewood, and luckily caught a few freshwater fish from the river along his way home.
He didn’t mind that his body is now covered with excessive perspiration or his grey faded clothes are stained with all kinds of grease and dirt there are. But when he caught sight of the familiar petite figure dressed in a simple, ivory colored hanbok in front of the household, he wished he had cleaned himself up when his mother prepared his warm bath earlier.
The thought, however, was briskly replaced with worry. 
His wide doe-like eyes locking with yours. His long and glorious legs only took a couple steps to reach your hand and drag you inside before closing the wooden barrier from any possible prying eyes.
“Y/N, what are you doing here?” It was the first thing Jungkook has said to you since you arrived. You’ve been standing there awkwardly for a while, watching him as he was in a deep reverie, hesitant to come inside in case Jungkook has other guests inside his home.
Your lips jutting in an adorable pout, “You didn’t receive my letter?”
You had no intention to raise the matter to him, because you’d like for him to believe you’re clueless so you could make the most of your time with him filled with good memories.
His frown slowly turns into an endearing smile at the cute display in front of him. “I did, I was supposed to meet you there. You can’t be outside, especially…” He stops mid-sentence for a moment, “I mean, you should have told me prior if you wanted to go out of the palace.” He gently prompts as he keeps a good amount of space in between, much to your displeasure.
You try to reach out his grease covered large hands, only to look up at him when he quickly steps back, maintaining the distance.
“What is the matter?” You question out of confusion.
He turns his head to the side, avoiding your curious stare. “I have not taken a bath, yet, Jagi.” He mumbles under his breath.
A smile slowly spreads in the corners of your lips, as a bubbly giggle resonates on your throat, “It’s alright, you don’t smell that bad.” You taunted, covering your nose with your palm to tease him.
“Y/N,” He whines, raising his arms alternatively to smell himself. The act only made you laugh even more, to which earns a playful glare from him.
“I’m kidding,” you managed to say when you finally recovered from your laughter, plastering a sweet smile which he could never resist.
He sighs dramatically, “What am I going to do with you?”
“Can I stay here?” You suddenly ask.
He stops in his tracks, uncertain if he heard you right. “What?”
“You’re right, I want to go out of the palace for a while. Will you accommodate me as a guest?” You shyly continue.
Jungkook stares at you in wonder. “Y/N, you know I’d gladly have you here if I only can.”
Maidens are not supposed to stay with an unmarried man under a roof, especially a princess like you.
“No one will know.” You try to convince.
“Your brother?” He prods, referring to the younger prince, his friend.
You didn’t say anything, avoiding his gaze.
“Love, you’re going to put us both into trouble.” He sighs, but silently giving in to your request.
Catching a beautiful bunch of flowers in sight behind him, you quickly averted your attention into it to change the subject, realizing there’s no point of pushing it further if he would not allow you to. “A-Are those flowers? Can I have a look?”
His eyes follow you as you’re left mesmerized with the flowers, similarly like he is to you. “They’re yours, love.”
“They are?” You repeated, lost in daze at the beauty of the light colored pink petals of the peonies.
Jungkook didn’t attempt to raise your previous concern, silently admiring you from a short distance. However close his proximity to you, it does not change the fact that you’re a thousand miles within his reach.
He’d never thought in his lifetime you would spare a single look at him, one day when you accidentally saw your brother and him were practicing through a sword fight. And when he thought it was enough for him, aware that you knew he existed, you bravely confessed your admiration to him weeks after.
Of course, he knew it was just a simple crush. He couldn’t entertain the infatuation you had with him because you were still young and your feelings would soon waver when you’ve passed the adolescence period. You would realize he’s far from the prince charming that you ought to marry, someday.
Perhaps, the memory he bears of the day he came from his military training could forever be engraved in his mind.
A bunch of letters sat on the table in his small room, to which his mother must have kept them there the entirety of his absence. Each letter was intentionally left unaddressed from the sender.
He knew. Just by the neat penmanship that indicates the person being literate, and the letters sealed inside envelopes in lavish colors tell him that the letters were from someone in a noble family. But what easily brought him to the conclusion of you having been sending the letters to his household while he was away is an image of a little peony grazing each paper just below the written intricate texts. Only the royal family and the attentive servants in the palace knew you’re the king’s favorite child, the little flower he calls in the royal family.
He’s not as fond of reading literary works like yourself. Like Taehyung, he sees paintings and portraits as the closest thing he could comprehend of in terms of art. 
It took him days reading every single one of the letters, and weeks before he had come to comprehend the underlying messages of the passages deliberately written in a figurative language enough to not only make his heart hurt but his head as well.
You longed for him.
The same fucking way he has been to you. There was not a single day that passed without the thought of you crossing his mind through the years. In this time of war, he should not entertain that side which could stir weakness from him. He should be a wise soldier, and for him to be one, he should forget you and anything that reminds him of you.
Through time, he had learned to admire you from afar while intentionally avoiding your longing stares to have you thinking that he doesn’t return your affection on him. He could not let you be aware of his personal struggles in order to keep a safe distance from you, he does not have the heart to make you suffer because of the hierarchical disparity between you.
Almost a year before the king died from an illness, you were abducted by foreign rebels who had had their way inside Joseon to gather and urge commoners from the inside to stir rebellion.
The danger you had come to witness yourself at a young blossoming age led him to reconsider his thought of allowing his feelings to be confessed to you. It would not last, he reassured himself. When your feelings for him have been exhausted, soon enough you would learn to forget him.
However, he only made the situation worse. Because for the past two years, nothing has changed, making it only harder for him to let you go. His dark, selfish thoughts buried deeply in him always manipulate him to persist, even if it means you will lose the life you have, your birthright.
~
After he had urged you inside a small room to rest while he cleaned himself up, he took you into the capital market. Sweet delicacies inside a folded linen clasp in his hand which he bought prior to arriving in front of a women’s shop.
The pure admiration visibly painted in your face over the numerous variety of hair accessories, and pieces of jewelry laid in front of you seemed to do the trick for you. He had not ever brought you here and he regretted not taking you here before.
Over the cumulative noises from the bustling crowd, you heard Jungkook chuckle. You took a peer from your side.
“You can buy anything you like.” Jungkook encourages, not knowing the internal war zone going on inside your mind as you survey the most beautiful things you have ever laid eyes on. These bargain accessories may not be as equally expensive as your own collections, but they are surprisingly immaculate and exceptional pieces.
You sadly smile, “I didn’t think of bringing any....”
“You have me.” He beams, showing several gold coins above the few notes inside his hand. Your face lights up.
By the time you were through, he barely had any currency left in his pocket. He could have felt remorse by how much all the accessories and jewelry you purchased had cost, but the satisfied smile painted on your face as the two of you walk hand in hand while eating the sweets is enough to make himself shrug away your lavish spending.
Jungkook recalls your request. The large and calloused pads of his fingers clutch your wrist, tugging your hand softly. “You’ll go back to the palace, right?”
Your lips only protruded, saying nothing to him as you kept going forward even when he already stopped walking.
“Y/N,” He tries to call but you only pretend not to hear anything. Three long strides were enough to catch up with you, taking one of your arms to turn you in front of him in a subtle manner. 
Sighing, you choose to break your silence. “I’ll find somewhere to stay—“ Jungkook already knew what you were about to say, so he cut you off.
“There’s no way I will let you out of my sight. It’s dangerous here.” He stubbornly argues back.
You weakly smile, “It doesn’t mean it’s safe there, either.”
His forehead creases, eyebrows meeting in a form of line.
The palace is the most heavily guarded state in the nation, but danger does not only pertain to swords and the opposition. It could mean other things, particularly the harm that could be inflicted among the royal family. 
“What do you mean?”
“You know what it is like inside,” you briefly asserted.
Jungkook pulled you into his embrace. He is aware of the extreme constraints inside the palace.
“I’m here, you can tell me what is bothering you.” He mumbles beside your ear, his hold tightening in your silence. If only he could change his fated obligation. Leaving you would be as painful as being physically inflicted with deep wounds, only that this feeling would not heal any time soon.
“I just feel lonely. It’s natural to feel that way when you’ve been isolated since the day you were born.” You expressed, meaningfully.
“The cruel world does not deserve a pure soul like you, my love.” He murmurs breathlessly.
You pulled back, stepping away to peer up from him. Jungkook caught the look on your face.
“Jungkook—“
“You’re not going to look for another place to stay. You’re out of your mind if you even think I’ll let you alone by yourself.” He says in a dismissive tone.
He’s right, after all. You would not want him to be punished if anything were to happen to you.
It was already dark while the two of you were still left along the way toward his household. The shining stars from your view give the moonless sky a breathtaking image of darkness and sparkles. You tug his hand, as you two reached the end of the woods, encouraging him into the nearby lake you recall seeing earlier.
The protective instinct of him surveyed the grass filled expanse before he succumbs to your offer. Through the peaceful atmosphere of the nature, a soft giggle naturally releases from you.
Jungkook didn’t speak for a moment, allowing you to enjoy the majestic beauty above. If it weren’t for him, the pitch black surrounding would somehow frighten you. The breezes swishing around and through your bodies get colder as the night progresses.
Through the darkness, Jungkook could barely make out the features of your face, but the subtle shivers coursing through your body didn’t go unnoticed to him. When he clasped his hands around yours, he felt the freezing contact of your skin through his palm. This led him to shift on his seat, pulling you on his lap.
“Jungkook…”
He only hums in response, rubbing your hands together through his palms.
“Can we stay here forever?”
Jungkook‘s chuckle resonates against your back, “If you want to, we can. I’ll even give you the stars from up there.” He jests.
Entwining your fingers with his, you leaned back in his embrace. “What if…”
“Hmm?” He encourages you, attentively waiting for what you will say next.
In a subtle, almost, innocent tone, you asked. “What if I want to be your wife?”
The answer is already there, dictated by your birthright and his duty. Truly a hopeless case. But it wasn’t patience that made you wait for him for years. It is hope, an endless amount of hope that led you where you are now. Him, your soulmate in this lifetime, and the truth as the main conflict of your life.
“You may lose everything because of me. You will hate me for taking you away from your life, jagiya.”
“I wouldn’t waste my time waiting for so long if I only care about the life I have. I’m ready... I’m willing to change if you will… h-have me.” You mumble in grief.
He didn’t answer for a while, letting his tightening hold around your body to speak for itself. It took all of him not to beg for your hand, and locked you in a secret engagement because it’s the only way he can make you exclusively his.
He doesn’t want to let you go.
Jungkook never uttered a word about his departure and you silently wonder if he will ever. Perhaps, that’s how it should end for the two of you. This may be the last time you’ll see him.
You really wanted to stay longer, here, even with the darkness sucking tiny hints of light as the night progresses. However, your stubbornness failed to match his persistence to get you home, in his own home. 
Once you two have gone inside his home, the thought of his mother and why she’s not around crossed your mind, though you chose not to speak of it while he prepares the dinner for the two of you. It was not long after you two had eaten and finished the stew and rice he cooked.
Your cheeks heated at the sight of him preparing your bath, embarrassed by the fact that you barely know a single chore other than preparing refreshment and herbal teas. Inside the vicinity of his home, Jungkook continues to disappear and reappear from here and there in long, rapid strides. You didn’t know what it was all about, confused at his sudden engagement to the chores. Until he laid the folded linen in your lap, that you silently realized it was for a fresh set of clothes.
He was attentive and patient as he made himself occupied while he waited for you to finish cleaning up. You’re not used to doing this in a different setting and you were relieved enough that you had dressed up alone without making a fool out of yourself.
When you opened the miniature door in the small quarter he showed you earlier, you found him on the floor crouching, preparing for your sleeping cot.
“Is this to your liking? It is not as comfortable as the beddings in your chamber and it’s—“
“Jungkook, it’s perfectly fine. Stop worrying,” You reassure, a smile slowly creeping into your face.
“It’s your first time to sleep outside—“
“It’s definitely not my first time.”
He stops dead in his tracks, blinking. “What?”
Amused by the growing confusion on his face, you prompt. “Will you stay longer?”
Jungkoo’s eyes widened a little, rubbing the back of his neck, nervously. Stuttering, “I-I… Y/N, you’re putting me in an awkward situation.”
You look at him incredulously. “We’ll only talk, you pervert.”
He tilts his head to the side, “Did you just call me…” He trails but you quickly cut him off.
“No, I meant handsome. General Jeon “Handsome” Jungkook.” A sweet smile stretches on your face.
His face slowly twists into a wide smile, shaking his head at your sweet but teasing answer. “You’re such a naughty princess.”
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Two days later, the queen was bewildered to find the princess’ chamber empty. Every single servant under your care was interrogated. No one can tell where you were.
You were abducted, again. That was the only conclusion they could come up with in your unnoticed disappearance.
Except for Prince Taehyung. It would not take your servants two days to realize you’re missing. Unless, you have given them a specific order to hide your whereabouts from your family.
He immediately mounted his horse to rush to the Jeon household, to inform his best friend about the disappearance of the princess.
Somehow, along his way, there was a tiny feeling there that tells him Jungkook knew where his sister is. But seeing it himself, with his own pair of eyes, as the two of you were dazed with your own worlds, he was betrayed by his friend. He rushed towards their direction and swung his fist into Jungkook’s face.
A shriek broke out from you in utter surprise. With your trembling body, you struggle to get in between the strong, towering bodies.
“Orabeoni!”
“Fuck you, Jungkook! I trusted you!” Seethed Prince Taehyung, his hands fisting Jungkook’s collar.
“Orabeoni, please, stop it! It’s my fault,” you gasp, weeping helplessly. Taehyung was panting from anger.
“It’s all on me! It’s me who should be spanked!”
You exhale harshly, shuddering at the thought of receiving punishment from the Queen Dowager, but it’s what you deserve after putting Jungkook into this situation. And as if a magic wand was tipped in his direction, Prince Taehyung instantly stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to the side.
He releases Jungkook with a hard push, enough to make Jungkook almost lose his balance. Jungkook’s strength is incomparable. Compared to the prince in front of him, he was physically more built brought by his experience in the military. But the words that he just heard suddenly made his legs jerked, and as he regained his balance he caught a glimpse of fear in your eyes.
He couldn’t take it.
The prince stared at you. “You came to him?”
Jungkook steps in, “I took her in.” He attempts to shift the attention away from you.
Prince Taehyung darted his eyes back at him. “Shut the fuck up.” He sneers at the young general. Jungkook, however, does not seem fazed by his anger. He had seen a worse case than the wrath of a warm-hearted prince. 
Jungkook’s composed disposition didn’t sit well with the prince, to which is a stark comparison to the expression you transparently give away.
Clouded with anger toward the friend he has trusted all his life, Prince Taehyung dragged you out of the state.
“Let’s go,” he utters in a harsh tone.
Jungkook watched you helplessly as you’re being taken away from his reach. He could easily fight the prince to keep you safe in his home, but it would only worsen the situation. He had already anticipated the mess he had coaxed you to partake in, but not the ire of the prince. 
“Orabeoni, it’s not his fault. Please, don’t direct your anger at him. I wanted to see him before he leaves.” You attempted to explain while he continued to drag you away, far away from Jungkook’s manor.
He frowns, clearly dismayed by your escape, “You should have told me, I could have done something to cover you up.”
“I didn’t want to drag you into this mess.” You say with guilt seeping through your tone. His large strides gradually halted, turning sharply o face you.
“He took advantage of your weakness, Y/N! How do you think I’d react to see you with him all this time? In his home? Gods, were you not thinking? Do you know how your stupid actions would turn back on you?” He gritted, unable to control the emotions manipulating his mind.
He would later regret losing his control but he needed to say something, after what he had done for the two of you. He did his best to protect you and this affair. You just wasted all of your chances. It’s nearly over now.
“Im sorry. He didn’t. I-I... we didn’t do anything.” You blinked, finally realizing the mayhem you had caused.
“You should be, everyone will assume otherwise.” The prince only whispers through the air before bringing you home to the grieving queen.
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When the royal prince and princess entered the palace, the queen’s eunuch who was awaiting for their arrival, immediately relayed the queen’s order to the prince. You didn’t know what it was about, until he led the way into the queen’s quarters.
In your admittance to her chamber, you were met with her anguished state, the servants immediately leaving the three of you inside to give you privacy.
Guilt courses through you, painfully listening to her worries. Her soft cries welled up your own . And you’re thankful that your brother was with you the whole time. Amidst his fury, he’s the one between you two who is in the right state of mind to console the queen while you were mentally breaking down.
Despite the queen’s effort to keep your escape a secret from the palace, the king had immediately learned of your return. Soon after, Officer Han came to her quarters carrying the king’s message.
You may have anticipated the king’s disappointment over your reckless action prior to entering his chamber. But nothing could have prepared you of what you would have your eyes to endure as the doors reveal the vicinity of the chamber.
Color immediately drains out of your face, your shrinking strength stutters your steps on your entry. Jungkook remained unmoving on his knees under the mercy of the king’s death glare.
The deafening silence becomes too much to bear, agonizingly waiting for the king to tell his piece of predictive condemning of your recklessness.
King Namjoon’s immeasurable dismay over learning the rumors has affected his rational capability to keep his focus on the more disturbing issues in the nation, particularly the rising tension in the borders. This matter should be the least of his concern, but his brotherly instincts ruled out the wise king in him. He deeply cares for his family, that includes his sister.
Your eternal faith over the young general’s affection may only validate his reasoning of refusing betrothal in a similar situation from his parents. The late king dearly loved the queen all his life, and until his last breath, his mother’s welfare was his dying wish, but to his surprise, it also included the princess’ happiness.
Seeing you in the trouble you have willingly created, he wondered what his father would do if he were alive. But he needed not to think further, because it is without a doubt that his father would be merciful to his favorite child. Perhaps, he should set his father’s wish aside for now and allow the princess to reflect on her lack of regard to her royal duty.
After a moment of deafening silence, King Namjoon’s painfully calm voice fills the frightening atmosphere.
“I warned you about this, princess.” He begins, the grief in his eyes flashes in a second before it vanishes with the coldness of his stare.
“Do you understand the gravity of your actions, Y/N?” He prods further, and somehow, his tone strangely sounds like the younger prince bearing the same amount of agony and frustration.
Your eyes only remained glued on the flooring, frightened to even dare speak or meet his eyes. You are already aware that what you did has stirred rumors inside the palace. And being here only meant you and Jungkook will face the inevitable consequences.
“General Jeon, I hope you understand my disapproval of you is nothing personal. I will make this easy for you as a relevant official in the military. I will let this thing go if you deny the rumors that you took advantage of the princess’ vulnerability.”
Your breath shortens, eyes squeezing shut, mortified by the severity of the situation. A weird feeling sits there in the corner of your heart, disturbing your thought process.
Despite the predictable outcome, Jungkook did not regret it ever happening, or allowing it to happen. However, your well-being matters to him other than his selfish reasons. To preserve the purity of reputation from the scrutinizing eyes of the palace women is all he cares of, as these predators could challenge your title for their personal interests.
Barely affected by the king’s wrath, he embraced his fate in the hands of his nation’s ruler. And as he finally spoke, he only proved your instinct right.
“My apologies, Your Majesty. I will gladly accept any punishment you may order, but I cannot deny that I took the Princess in my household.” Jungkook answered with a controlled tone.
Your eyes darted back at him, appalled by the manner of his admission as if it were his pure intent, “Jungkook! That’s a lie, I came to you!” You quickly interfered, convincing him otherwise. Panic audibly hinted in your voice, and even with your silent plea for him to take back his words, he dares not spare a single glance back to you.
With trembling hands, you turn to face the merciless king. You wish you could see the brotherly side of him, the one that cares for you. The one in front of you is nothing like your brother, but a king you wish he wasn’t.
Your lips quivering as you protest, “I chose to flee on my own accord, Your Majesty. He didn’t force me.”
But even with your words, his dark scrutiny was already fixated at the young general.
“Very well, then. Your betrayal to your king would only conclude your willful commitment to treason. Am I right General Jeon?”
Despite tracing no single emotion in his expression, his chilling voice manifests his anger.
Your frightened eyes went round. “Jeonha!”
Without hesitation, Jungkook willingly succumbs. “If it is your will, Your Majesty.” He expresses, refusing to see the horror in your eyes. If it means you will be pardoned from this mess, he will accept anything on your behalf.
A sharp gasp left your mouth, “J-Jungkook, w-what are you saying? You had nothing to do with this, it’s my fault—“
“Han!” You hear the king’s booming voice that made you stop.
Upon the eunuch’s entry, the king concluded your fate. “Escort the princess in her chamber. You are to make sure she doesn’t leave her chamber until I tell you. No one is allowed to see her but me, do you understand? I will deal with the queen dowager, myself.”
The shimmering tears in your eyes trickle down through your cheeks, “Orabeoni,” you helplessly plead, meeting his sharp glare, abhorring his callousness.
You could care less if you would be given a heavy spanking from the queen dowager, but Jungkook certainly didn’t commit treason. The king is not a fool to not understand that the scandal was caused by your selfishness but he chose to dismiss the truth.
Your eyes eagerly sought for Jungkook’s as you were being taken away. You need to see him, at least, for the last time. Jungkook didn’t turn on your way, not even when you disappeared from their sight.
After you were escorted out in the courtroom, the king simply ordered General Jeon to go back to his household and prepare for the military’s forthcoming departure. Even with utter confusion, Jungkook left the palace bearing the last image he had caught glimpse of you— he only hoped his last memory of you wouldn’t be replaced by your beautiful, bright smiles. He would have his way to see you, again.
The catastrophe has shattered you into pieces, and as painful as it deeply wounded you, you didn’t know it was all part of the king’s act to teach you a lesson.
The palace became tense for the past few days. True to the orders of the king, no other members of the royal family were able to reach out to the princess. Not until the worry of the queen became too much for her to bear. Realizing that the king does not have an intention to lift the punishment just yet, the queen begged the king, his son, to allow you to serve the extent of your punishment in her state in the east where your maternal grandparents live.
Whether or not the king has approved of it, you have no power to defy his order, regardless.
Few hours had passed since you had departed from the palace, the moving palanquin seemed to have stopped, until it flew open, revealing your personal servant and from behind— Jungkook!
Your servant stepped back, giving Jungkook a room to see you closer. What is he doing here?
“Jungkook, w-what are—“
“Hush, my love. I’m alright.” He reassures in between rapid intakes of breaths.
“You’re leaving…”
He surveys your face, brushing your stubborn tears away with his fingers, frowning. “I am, but your tears are piercing my heart, jagiya. You’re crying as if I won’t come back.”
You have high hopes he’ll survive the battle, but there’s clearly no hope for the two of you. You could sacrifice your title for him, but you can’t afford any adversity coming back at his tail for your selfishness.
“You’ll wait for me, Y/N?”
I will only give you misfortune, you silently thought further.
His forehead rests against yours, his eyes clenching shut as a painful smile stretches on his face. “I know… I understand you can’t. But I’d like to think you’ll be waiting for me when I return.”
With your harsh multiple nods, a sob uncontrollably releases from your throat, and another, and another, until the pain in your chest trickles up through your throat that your cries couldn’t be stopped any longer.
“Please, come back to me, Jungkook. I-I… I’ll be a good princess. I will go to the temple everyday to pray for you. And… If you… If you realize you don’t want me anymore— it’s fine,” you weakly smile, “I just need you to come back alive... for your mother, for Taehyung—“
“Marry me.”
Your heart suddenly stops, “W-What?”
“Be my wife.” Jungkook repeats with firm persistence.
“Jungkook, h-how— you’re leaving…” You stammer with the right words. He can’t, no serving military soldier in Joseon can marry the princess. Your brother made it clear to you.
But for the first time, Jungkook lied and promised you his world, the only thing you will never have in this lifetime. “When I return, I’ll marry you, if you’ll have me.”
With all the strength left in you, you nodded. “I’m yours, Jungkook.” You promised back, failing to recognize the obligation it weighs in your future.
Jungkook plants a longing, bittersweet kiss in your lips before he parts from you. Your eyes attentively watch his figure skillfully vanish from your sight.
I’ll wait for you.
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terms
orabeoni - endearment used for older brother/sister jeonha - your majesty inner/internal court - a separate body in the palace governed by the female members of the royal family responsible to control the palace women’s affairs to which the king cannot intervene about queen mother - endearment used for the king’s mother/queen dowager great queen dowager - mother of the deceased king palanquin -  a covered litter/large box with two horizontal poles carried by humans as a means of transportation
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credits to the rightful owner (Jeesung Kim) of the image used
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