#not pretty awkward for Miller tho

[rockhousejai]

They finally meet

[nightwingshero]

What's your role in the tragic play?

I was tagged by @simonxriley, @detectivelokis, @voidika, @shegetsburned, @socially-awkward-skeleton, and @marivenah to take this quiz for my ocs. Thank you, guys!!!

Tagging: @water-writings @acesghosts @sstewyhosseini @fadedjacket @chazz-anova @ghastlyrider @confidentandgood @baldurrs @vampireninjabunnies-blog @strafethesesinners and anyone else who would like to give it a go. 

I decided to do both my FC5 and RDR2 ocs. Under the cut because there’s quite a few. 

Wren Blake - FC5

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Rowan Palmer - FC5

desperate narrator

this story is a cycle, and you're spinning around it like a hamster in a ball being tormented by a cat. you know how this story ends. after all, you've told it a thousand times. but you try to change it every time. you love the people in this story more than anything. so watching them fall victim to the narrative breaks you in a way you can't begin to describe. but all you can do is tell the story── their story── with tears in your eyes. you're prone to anxiety and feelings of helplessness. you have so much love in your heart, and for once you wish it would change something. it didn't. it doesn't. it won't. but you refuse to stop telling the story. and you refuse to stop loving the people in it. in this way, no one is stronger than you. you just wish being strong hurt less.

Randy Miller - FC5

unassuming extra

you had maybe 3 lines but you will forever own my heart. you play a very minor role, one often forgotten about (not by me tho bby, i'll love you forever). however, your significance in the story is pretty big. something about you propels the story forward in a way no one else can do. you tend to blend into the background, and you probably like it that way. you want a simple life, free from the drama of the main characters. unfortunately, your story is almost always cut short. your role is usually a death that kickstarts the plot. going unnoticed did not save you, but it probably did bring you some peace of mind.

Jane Williams - FC5

misunderstood villain

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

Whitney Seed - FC5

tortured love interest

you're so hot. sorry about the horrors. you're the kind of person people immediately notice. whether you have a distinct style, are more outgoing, or are just plain beautiful, you make an impression. people usually feel the need to protect you, which probably frustrates you to no end. you're not weak! you're not fragile! you're not helpless! but the people in your life tend to disagree. maybe it's your lover, the protagonist, trying to keep you out of their own turmoil. maybe it's someone responsible for you in some way, keeping you away from your lover, while they head down an increasingly dark path. regardless, all you really want is a sense of autonomy! unfortunately, you're very likely to die before that happens. the audience will be so caught up in the grief your death causes the protagonist that they forget to grieve you as a person. you deserved better, but unfortunately this is not your story. maybe it should have been.

Grace Harding - RDR2

bold protagonist

you're the star of the show, baby! and boy does that come with a lot of emotional turmoil. you have a seemingly endless supply of determination. whether you have a lot of goals, or one big one, you're constantly working towards it. you're pretty restless, and struggle with imposter syndrome and generally feeling like you should be doing more. your insecurity might not be immediately obvious to others, however, as you come across as very strong and bold. vulnerability is not your strong suit, and that's likely to be your downfall. if only you had just let people in, and asked for help... well, maybe this was always gonna be a tragedy.

Anna Dubois - RDR2

sweet supporting character

i wanna be your grandma so bad, please let me pinch your face and knit you a sweater. you're most likely the best friend of the protagonist, and there's some possible overlap between you and the narrator. you're sweet and try very hard to be selfless. you watch the ones you love descend into darkness, and make every effort to help them through it all. it's not enough. you keep trying to make it enough. you provide comic relief, a listening ear, a hug, advice── any method of support you can think of. your own personal tragedy isn't documented. sometimes you wish it was, even though you're the one who ensures it is not. you want people to care for you the way you do for others. but you refuse to ask for it, so you wait for others to read between the lines. they usually don't. at least you're the one who gets to survive the tragedy. no matter how many times you beg to trade places, it is always you at the end, sitting at someone else's grave.

[phoenixwatchesmovies]

What I'm Watching: June 2023

Oh yeah, I...uh...suppose I haven't done this yet...

Sailor Moon Crystal

I remember I got about halfway through the first episode of this several years ago and just... didn't go any further. The OG was one of my favorite things as a kid, and Crystal didn't hold a candle to it. I decided to give it another shot, tho, and I gotta say. I was wrong. I have a couple gripes with it, to be frank, like occasional awkward camera work, some random shots that just don't make any sense, and wonky lines in the transformation sequences that I couldn't unsee. My nitpicks are more a matter of preference and comparison, such as Crystal's bright and clean look versus the original's richer tone. They're both beautiful, but I like best what I know best. This one sticks to the manga and thus has a shorter run, so it moves at a much quicker pace. Compare the 13-episode seasons to the 200 episodes of the original, and I don't think I need to elaborate on that point. Also, goshdarn holy shit, I'm still into Sailor Moon x Tuxedo Mask, but I'll be damned if I wasn't also gunning for Usagi and Haruka this time around. By the time I finished the series, I was bummed there was no more, so that counts as a win. And yep, I cried a couple times.

Sailor Moon

Now be serious, how was I supposed to watch the reboot and NOT make my way back to the classic? This was my entire childhood, and it's still my jam. Admittedly, the structure works better for younger audiences, but who cares. Given that this is my second rewatch as an adult, I'm pretty secure in saying I'm still here out of genuine enjoyment and not simple nostalgia. I mentioned above that this one is about 200 episodes long, and now that I'm reading the manga as well, it's clear how much was added to bulk up the show. I can think of three additional subplots off the top of my head just in season one. We also get a lot more moments to get attached to the characters, though, so I don't see this as a problem. I'm still working my way through this, so it's not time for final thoughts yet.

We're The Millers

Don't really have much to say about this one. It's fine. Road trip stories tend to be entertaining, so I wasn't disappointed. I'm mostly amused to bring this full circle and actually watch the movie, as the closest I've ever gotten to it until now was everyone else watching it without me while I was passed out drunk in the bathroom. Good times.

A Nightmare On Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge

Boy oh boy, do I have Thoughts™ about this one, and they'll be in their own post as soon as I stop procrastinating.

***

And that's it for June. And now that we're halfway through July, I don't guess it'll be very long before I'm back here. Toodles.

[brandnewhuman]

HELLO THERE

♡ Welcome to my blog ♡

Enjoy your stay, and while you're scrolling

Take a look at this

☆About me☆

Behold, the unhinged raccoon is here. Name's Izzy, I'm 22 and my pronouns are they/them. Just intj himbo doing silly little stuff

If you're here then you are now my gremlin and I'm your new dad, it's the law so don't fight it.

Having the embarrassing life purpose of obsessing over pretty men, even prettier women and everything that my little stinky funky brain finds neat.

Hey! I draw too sometimes. Not the best but I try

I'm like really socially awkward but I make up for it by USING ALWAYS ALL CAPS TO SCREAM AND ASSERT DOMINANCE

I speak Italian, English and Spanish. And by speak I mean I commit grammatical crimes with all three of them.

I sometimes put song recommendations in my posts cause I think my music taste is pretty lit.

Giving the most atrocious and shitty takes is my passion not my purpose

I have, ironically, a passion for writing and reading but the attention span of a 3 year old i have been cursed with does not give zero fucks. My two braincells are fighting for their life to work with my hobbies

asks about the admi

RULES!

About request and what I will and will not write:

DO NOT REQUEST:

pedophilia, zoophilia, incest, r4pe descriptions ecc.

Please don't request extreme kinks like feet, scat ecc.

I don't write smut bros im sorry, I've tried but its not my thing. I can do light NSFW things tho

Please don't request real life people such celebrities, serial killers ecc

DO REQUEST:

if you want things such gore scenes, torture ecc. Being this a blog part of many dark themed fandoms I don't have a problem writing those type of things.

You can request ships too as long as they respect the guidelines

ABOUT MY WRITING:

I will always try to have the reader depiction neutral in any aspect such gender, religion, sexuality, race ecc but if you want something specific just ask!

I take like a long ass time doing requests so just hang on and sooner or later I'll do yours dw. If I haven't done it it's because I just need to tune my funky brain into writing or because I'm just obsessing over other fandoms.

Everything will always have a tw if needed so read them carefully, they're there for a reason.

WHAT DO I POST?

Matchups!

Headcanons

One shots

Drabbles

Multiple parts fanfic

I'll now start with the whole character sending letters thing

Prompts ask

About what characters/fandoms i write for:

FANDOMS I WRITE FOR :

Masterlist

THE SLASHERS:

The walking dead au

Asa emory Au

Any version of Michael Myers

Brahms Heelshire

Asa Emory (the collector)

Jesse Cromeans (laid to rest)

Jason Voorhees

Thomas Hewitt

Bubba Sawyer

The Sinclair Twins (house of wax)

Pyramid head

Corey cunningham (Halloween ends)

AMERICAN HORROR STORY:

Tate Langdon

Kit Walker

Kyle Spencer

Jimmy Darling

James Patrick March

Oliver Thredson

Countess

ASSASSIN'S CREED

Ezio Auditore

Desmond Miles

Yusuf Tazim

Clay kaczmarek

Arno Dorian

THE WALKING DEAD:

Milton Mamet

Negan Smith

GHOST:

Swiss

Aether

Cardinal Copia

Rain

DETROIT BECOME HUMAN

Connor

Elijah kamski

Gavin reed

Ralph

Markus

Daniel

Chloe

Rk900 connor aka nines

Rk600 connor aka cyberlife tower connor

Call of duty modern warfare 2

Simon "ghost" riley

König

John "soap" mactavish

Hocus pocus

Billy butcherson

JoJo's bizarre adventure:

Jonathan joestar

Dio brando

Caesar Zeppeli

Phantom of the opera

The phantom aka Eric

The last of us

Tommy Miller

Joel Miller

Ellie Williams

Spider-Man into and across the spiderverse

Miguel O'Hara

The Spot

Peter B Parker

Peter Parker (Miles's universe)

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Overall just tell me what you want, follow these guidelines, be nice and I'll be more than happy to take your request!

[wasteofanarrow]

cowboys at da club

Thank you to @jelliebeansaregood for the prompt!

Remember, requests are OPEN!

Group Headcanon:

Lemme tell y’all, these motherfuckers go HARD to Friends in Low Places

I’m talking full on dancing with their arms around each other

Just the thought of this has me up in my feelings

Dutch:

Overdressed because he’s extra

Top shelf liquor ONLY because he’s def lying to himself

Works with Hosea to get into the VIP section

Chain smokes cigars in the comfy velvet seats

Chats up a few women and ignores Molly’s text messages

Only dances to a few songs

Dances way too hard to SexyBack...ends up throwing out his back

Hosea:

Didn’t really want to go because he’s “too old

But if he’s gonna go out he’s gonna do it right

Works with Dutch to get into the VIP section

These females are all up on him and he’s kinda shocked because he’s an old man—really boosts the confidence

Is up dancing until 4am...he feels like death the next day cuz he’s not used to this kind of life anymore

Arthur:

Arthur “stays at the bar until I’m sloshed” Morgan

Feels awkward at first but those whiskey shots tho

Once he’s good and drunk he’s super affectionate towards his friends—lots of “I love you, man” and slinging his arms around their shoulders

Dances super awkwardly on the outskirts of the dance floor but he’s having a great time and it shows

Chats with some ladies, and has a few dances but he doesn’t take anyone home—not the kind for one night stands after Eliza

Gets his ✨choice✨ ass slapped at least ten times by random people—he blushes furiously each time it happens

John:

Honestly he’s happy he got to come out tonight, he wanted to chill with the boys

Abigail didn’t have an issue with letting him go...so long as he wear a cock cage (we stan Abigail as a dom)

She’s not afraid of him cheating, she just wants to make sure any women grinding on him on the dance floor knows he’s taken in a humiliating way

Don’t worry it’s all consensual

Goes ham whenever an emo banger starts playing

Definitely requests Welcome to the Black Parade

Very sweaty

Gets drunk super fast because he’s a light weight, Arthur has to carry him to the car...and he definitely feels the cage John has on (through his pants of course) and he’s 100% uncomfortable. Thankfully John won’t remember this the next morning

Charles:

Sticks around Arthur and Javier

He doesn’t drink enough to get super wasted, just has a few and offers to drive the fellers home

Dances a lot

Buys people he’s attracted to drinks from across the bar

Hella phone numbers and people grinding up on that b o d y

Doesn’t do hookups too often because it’s not as fulfilling as a sexual encounter with someone he cares about, but he does ask a pretty girl on a lunch date on Sunday afternoon

Javier:

RESPECT THE DRIP

He looks incredible as per usual

He even accessorized for this y’all

Tears it up on the dance floor

Legit getting so much attention and he’s living for it

Goes hard to despacito even though he claims to hate that song

Takes home a guy and a girl ayyyy

Bill:

Is confused as to why men keep coming up to him and asking if he’s a “bear” what does that mean

Instantly regrets it when he asks Sean what it means

Orders Miller Lite even though he’s out on the town

A bit awkward at first, but he loosens up

Don’t even talk to him when the cha cha slide comes on because he’s ‘bout to risk it all on the dance floor

Sean:

Requests Cotton Eyed Joe and goes HARD to that shit

Definitely took some mdma, he’s having a fantastic time thank u very much

He and Lenny fuck it up on the dance floor to the point where people gather around them to watch

Starts a bar fight when he gets overly fucked up, gets kicked out

Micah:

Vodka shots every five minutes

Takes people’s leftover drinks because hey it’s a free drink (clearly has no regard for his own safety—the gang keeps tabs on him)

Tries too hard to chat up the ladies but manages to charm one woman enough to dance with her and take her home later

Super sexual dancing—if it weren’t for the clothes, it would look like he’s all up in them guts on the dance floor

Lenny:

When I say boy’s got moves I mean boy’s got moves

He also went ham to Cotton Eyed Joe

Took shots with Arthur so he’s super fucked up

Is embarrassed when people hit on him because he’s a sweet cinnamon roll who doesn’t know how to romance

Still manages to get a phone number or two as well as a few dances

Throws up in the Uber back home

Kieran:

Sweet, shy, anxious angel boy didn’t want to go out so he’s home in his softest pjs watching tv with Mary-Beth

[shadow-assassin-blix]

Stitches

Benny Miller x reader/you

Continuing the Shawn Mendes Song Fic. Santiago is next and then I’ll be moving onto another band/theme. Uh. Some fights. Nothing really too extreme here. Enjoy. 

Everything Tag: @mikeisthricedeceased​

I thought that I've been hurt before

But no one's ever left me quite this sore

Benny was watching an MMA tournament, checking out his competition for his tournament next month. Will was there with him, watching the matches with his keen eyes. Benny was… easily distracted to say the least. He smiled flirtatiously at many women who passed by him. At one point he noticed a group of women, standing off to the side. Most of them had a guy with them, all except one.

As he looked at her, he could tell she looked extremely bored. She had her arms crossed; her foot was tapping. She kept checking her phone for either the time or something to give her an escape.

After a moment, a guy joined her, handing her a clear solo cup of beer. She smiled tensely at him and would duck under his arm anytime he tried to wrap it around her. She eventually, handed the drink to one of her girlfriends, and said something to excuse herself. He watched as she walked over to the concession stand. That was when he decided to make his move.

Your words cut deeper than a knife

Now I need someone to breathe me back to life

You were idly standing by the concession stand, pretending to look over the menu. You were not thrilled to be there, and just wanted to leave as soon as possible.

While you were standing there, a guy stood nearby you. You glanced at him from the corner of your eye. You noticed he was pretty handsome. Brown hair, blue eyes, a light amount of scruff, and well built.

“Having a hard time deciding what to get?” You hear him ask, as he stepped a little closer, so you could hear him.

“Oh yeah. So hard to chose between popcorn, a corndog, or a hotdog. What would you recommend?” You asked, chuckling at the situation.

“Uhh. Nothing from here. I would recommend only eating this food, if you had a lot of liquor and no taste buds left,” He joked scratching the back of his head.

You crinkled your nose in slight disgust.

“I’m Benny. What’s your name?” He asked.

You tell him yours and he smiled brightly.

“So. Don’t take this the wrong way, but this doesn’t seem to be your scene? Or rather… you don’t look thrilled to be here,” He gently probed, wanting to know.

Just like a moth drawn to a flame

Oh, you lured me in I couldn't sense the pain

“Oh. Um. Blind date. I hate it. Him. He’s rather touchy, and he’s just boring. My friends thought this was a good idea. After my ex broke up with me because I “wasn’t there enough.” I’m a med student. Sorry my life doesn’t revolve around you,” She informed him with an eyeroll.

“Oh? Med student? Nice. Good to know,” He teased.

“How is that good to know?” She questioned, staring at him confused.

“I’m a fighter. Uh. I have a tournament next month. So, I’m here with my brother to check out my competition. It’s nice to know a pretty doctor is all,” Benny tells her, feeling slightly awkward, thinking he overstepped.

She shook her head with a small smile, thinking he was cute.

“A fighter eh? You any good?” She asked him, biting her lip.

“Come to my tournament next month. You’ll see. Maybe I can…take you to dinner after?” Benny asked charmingly.

She smiled, looking down. She looked over at her group of friends who were apparently waiting on her. She pulled out her phone, quickly unlocking it.

“Put your number in, and text me the details,” She requested.

Benny gave her a 1000-watt smile, as he input his number, sending a text to himself, and saving himself as a contact.

He felt his phone buzz as he received the messaged.

“I’ll see ya then,” Benny stated, pressing a kiss to her cheek quickly.

He ran back over to his brother and looked back to see her still standing where he left her. Her hand was gently touching where he kissed her, and he could see her smiling softly.

Will simply rolled his eyes and shook his head at him.

Your bitter heart cold to the touch

Now I'm gonna reap what I sow

It had been a week since that day, and you were nervous as you stared at your phone. You wanted to talk to Benny again. You didn’t want to wait a month. You opened up the chat he created, laughing at the name he gave himself.

“Hot Stuff”

You sent him a message simply saying ‘hi.’

Seconds later you got a response. ‘hey! How are you?’

‘I’m well. I... hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time? I just wanted to talk to you again’

‘Oh really? How did the rest of your date go with Mr. Boring?’

‘It didn’t. I ran when he went to the bathroom. He apparently thinks it was a magical date. I told him I wasn’t ready for anything more.’

‘lol. Poor guy. Shame he couldn’t see that you hated it. His loss is my gain tho’

‘Oh. Is that so? What did you gain, besides someone to tend to your wounds?’

‘A beautiful girlfriend? If you’re interested?’

She paused at that. She could feel her face warm up a bit. She bit her lip as she typed out her response.

‘Wouldn’t that imply you have to take me on a few dates before receiving that title?’

‘What are you doing for the next 3 weekends up till my fight?’

She laughed at that before typing out a response.

I'm left seeing red on my own

Got a feeling that I'm going under

The month passed by quickly. Benny had taken you out every weekend: movies, lunch/dinner, walks around the park. He made every date feel relaxed and easy. You didn’t feel like you had to be on guard or put on a façade. He made you forget about all about your dumb ex and was very supportive of your learning.

One date, he actually helped you create flashcards and study for an upcoming exam. Something Brian would never do. He always felt that the attention should be 100% on him, and to hell with your education.

Benny even made copies of your study notes, so he could quiz you randomly throughout the day.  Something you appreciated greatly, because it kept the info fresh in her mind. When the exam day came around, Benny sent you flowers and candy wishing you luck. About 2 hours later, you were turning the test in online, which automatically gave you a score. 100%.

You immediately called Benny, excited, “Benny! I aced it! Thank you so much for your help!”

“Congrats baby! I knew you would ace it! Shall we… celebrate? I’ll bring over food, and we can watch movies?” He offered somewhat shyly.

“Yes! I would love that! But wait… Weren’t you supposed to hang out with your brother and friends tonight?” You asked thinking back to a previous conversation.

“I could cancel with them, it’s not a big deal,” Benny said nonchalantly.

“No. Don’t do that. They are your family. How about we celebrate after your fight on Saturday?” You countered, not wanting him to change his plans just for you.

“Alright. If you’re sure?” He asked wanting to confirm.

“I’m sure. Bye babe,” You tell him as you hang up.

“Bye!” He chirped.

But I know that I'll make it out alive

If I quit calling you my lover

Saturday rolled around fast, and after a rush of getting your badge that gave you VIP access, you were searching for someone familiar. As you were searching, a blonde man appeared before you.

“Hey Doc. I’m Will. C’mon. Benny wants to see you, seems to think you’ll bring him good luck,” Will’s voice was slightly deeper and raspier than Benny’s.

As you looked at him, you could see the resemblance between the two of them. You followed him toward the back, where the locker rooms were located. He led you down a hallway and to a room about midway. Benny was in the middle of bandaging his hands, rather poorly.

“Stop. I have no idea what you’re doing but stop,” You command moving forward.

You grabbed the bandages, undoing his work.

“No wonder you keep busting your hands. Who taught you how to wrap?” You asked him as you wrapped them properly.

You heard several chuckles.

“We keep telling him, but he refuses to listen,” Came a deep voice to your right.

You glance at the man, one of two Latino men who stood nearby. The one who talked was the kind who looked painfully handsome and knew it. The other, who wore a cap, looked sweet and was shaking his head at the scene he was seeing.

“You’re legit the only person he’s ever let touch those wraps. Us? The men he spent years in the army with? Oh no. We know nothing,” He teased, lightly shoving Benny.

“You should listen to them more often. They were correct,” You lightly admonished as you finished wrapping both of his hands.

“Hey, you’re supposed to be on my side!” Benny exclaimed, as he tested his hands, making fists.

“Says who?” You asked him teasingly. “So, who is on the lineup?”

Will handed you the list of fighters that were supposed to be there. As you looked at the list, you noticed the first fight Benny had was against Brian Holden… Your ex.

You snorted. Loudly.

Move on

Needle and the thread

“What? What’s so funny?” Benny asked watching her reaction.

“Just... do me a favor. Your first fight? Make sure you not only win, but make sure it hurts,” She requested handing the list back to Will.

He glanced at the list and chuckled when he recognized the name. The match was in a few minutes and he had a feeling he was going to enjoy it.

Gotta get you outta my head

Gonna wind up dead

They walked out and as Benny was announced, you and the guys made your way to your seats upfront. Benny got in the cage with your ex and you were snickering.

Will leaned over as the fight began, and stated, “He really likes you, you know?”

You turned to face with a smile, “I like him a lot too. He makes me very happy.”

“He… he falls pretty hard, pretty fast. Do me a favor? Don’t break his heart, yeah?” Will requested.

“I don’t plan too,” You assured him, turning your attention back to the match, to cheer Benny on.

“WHOOOO! GO BENNY!” You cheered as Benny landed several hits onto Brian.

“They don’t allow chairs, or anything do they?” You asked all of three of them.

The three of them laughed, before Frankie, as you found out, “No. It’s not wrestling. It’s MMA, there is a bit more class here.”

“Damn. Oh well,” You said, in mock disappointment.

The fight took about 15 minutes and Benny came out on top. As Benny stepped out, he walked over to them and you hugged him in congrats.

“You did great!” You tell him.

You looked him over really quickly and noticed he had a busted lip.

“Ooh. Ouch. Does that hurt?” You ask him, digging into your bag.

He goes to answer but stopped when he watches you pull out a small med-bag.

“You.. came prepared I see?” Benny noted with a smile.

“Just… some small things. Is that weird?” You asked concerned.

“No. No it’s not weird. Let’s get to the locker room and you can tend to me,” Benny tells her appreciating the gesture.

You watch me bleed until I can't breathe

I'm shaking, falling onto my knees (falling on my knees)

A couple hours later, and few more scrapes, the tournament was over. Benny came in first and was super happy. The five of you made your way to a local bar, and order food and drinks.

“So. What do ya think of my fighting skills now?” Benny asked taking a drink of beer, basking in his win.

“Mh. You’re good. Could be better,” You teased, hiding your smile in your drink.

“OhHo! What?” Benny exclaimed pulling you to him, his hands running up your sides, tickling you.

You laughed loudly, as you squirmed away.

“Brian used to make me watch all sorts of MMA tournaments. Said it helped him get in the zone or something. I always thought it was kind of boring to be honest,” You admitted once he finally stopped.

“And now?” Benny prompted.

“I… could find a reason or two to find it enjoyable… So long as I’m not patching you up every time you forget to dodge or block a very obvious punch,” You stated with a raised eyebrow.

The guys laughed at that and as Benny dramatically clutched at his heart.

As they talked, someone strolled up next to you.

“Thought you hated fighting?” Came the somewhat nasally voice of your ex, Brian.

“No. I thought it was boring because you never bothered to explain anything. Plus. You always felt the need to interrupt my study time with a match that I just ‘had to watch.’ There’s a difference,” You replied annoyed, not even bothering to look at him.

“Don’t be a bitch. So, what you are with this asshole now?” Brian questioned, grabbing you and making you turn.

You moved to shove his hand off of you, but Will got in between you two, shoving him away. Benny also, moved to place you behind him.

“Get out. You put your hands on her again, and a busted nose will be the least of your concerns,” Will threatened.

Brian turned, acting like he was going to leave before, he swiftly turned back throwing a punch. Will dodged easily. All four of them were gearing up for a throw down but you were sick of it already.

You reached into your medical bag and pulled out your scalpel.

“BRIAN!” You shouted his name to get his attention.

He turned to you and paused when he saw the knife in your hand.

“As you very well know, I am very good with this small sharp object. Get away from me now. Stay away from me. Or I will CUT you,” You warned him brandishing it to him.

He stared at you for a moment before quickly moving away, tripping over a chair as he did so.

You put the knife back into your bag, and all four of the guys stared at you.

“What?” You asked innocently.

Benny reacted first, with loud laughter. “That… that was hot. Terrifying. But hot.”

The others shook their heads and retook their seats.

“Appears, your girl doesn’t need a knight Benny. She can handle herself quite well,” Santi remarked.

“Yeah. She’s more of a knight than you are,” Frankie teased.

“Oh yeah. What does that make me then?” Benny demanded as he pressed a kiss to your face, wrapping his arms around you.

You looked at the guys, and they you, all four of you stating at the same time, “Jester.”

You all laughed at Benny’s pout, and you pressed a kiss to his lips.

“But a very cute Jester,” You try to placate.

“That sounds too similar to “very cute moose,”” He said suspiciously.

“You… remember that line from Princess Diaries 2? Really?” You asked with a giggle.

“It was the funniest part of the movie,” He mumbled looking away.

“Wait… You got him to watch what now?” Santi asked.

The rest of the evening was spent talking about some of your previous dates, while the guys told you funny stories.

You enjoyed the evening and looked forward to more dates and nights out with all of them. Benny came into your life unexpectantly but you wouldn’t trade him for the world.

And now that I'm without your kisses (without you)

I'll be needing stitches (and I'll be needing stitches)

Tripping over myself

Aching, begging you to come help (begging baby please)

[2004hq]

welcome aboard, stella miller, student #20. we are excited to set sail with you ! has anyone told you that you look like olivia holt? according to our records, you hail from minneapolis, usa, prefer she/they pronouns, are non-binary, and are here to study history. we also see you received a spot on the ss university because of your academic scholarship — we won’t tell anyone. during your first few weeks here, other students said you were + friendly, + creative, but also - flighty. it sounds like you spend most of your time at the sun deck. upon checking your luggage, we noticed you packed a portable cd player brought from home. hopefully your roommates don’t steal it!

this is my babe stella! you can also call her stells! i’ll try and keep this short-ish! also i’m rose??? v excited to be here!!!

they’re originally from a suburb just outside of minneapolis, minnesota. they come from a big family and are the youngest. their fam was v wholesome, so some things they’ve witnessed in their experience away have been ~eye-opening~ 

especially during the wintertime, they longed to get out of minnesota and escaped with books, music, and movies. they tried to learn everything they could about the rest of the world and are a bit of a pop culture nerd

also big ass scholastic nerd! from an early age, stella realized that the most likely way she was gonna get out was by studying hard and getting a scholarship, so that’s what they did

can be a lil awkward - because of her anxiety, stells is either a chatterbox or silently wishing she could teleport away, but it’s not uncommon for her to ramble forever

doesn’t give a shit what pronouns you use bc gender ???? but typically she and/or they is fine with her!

before stella left for the ship, her closest brother, henry, gave her a cd player and a case of mix cds, ones he made for himself to get through college. when she needs to chill or get away, stella will pop one of them in and feel like she’s back at home

they’ve never been in a relationship before and their last kiss was in middle school. so, stella gets especially nervous when dealing with anything ~romantic~ (she knows she’s a bi bb tho)

decided to major in history because they wanna shed light on all the history that’s been seemingly erased

overall, kind, friendly, anxious, a lil weird, sometimes cool babe!

i’m sure there’s more i can write, but who has time amiright?? anyways, if u wanna plot, u can hmu in the dms! if discord is easier for u, then dm me your tag and i’ll add you!!

pretty much looking for all connections?? friends, enemies, crushes, etc, etc!! maybe she can be a good influence, maybe your character can be a bad influence, maybe stells somehow manages to always get in your character’s way, maybe they’re teaching her how to play the guitar, maybe stella is tutoring them, maybe your character is trying to date stella on a bet like in she’s all that, maybe they go into the art gallery at midnight and get drunk, maybe they’re buds whenever they go on-shore, the possibilities are endless!

[chernobylita]

comprehensive list of my guy troubles:

guy no.1

26 year old bartender who has a gf and i was aware of this the entire time. he started texting me after we both finished early one day and we just had a few drinks (I SWEARRR IT WAS FRIENDLY) then later that night he started to kinda sext me aaaaaand i kinda let him even tho i knew about his gf but in my defense i was vvv drunk that day like blackout i literally woke up next to a dirty ass canal that day. oh and this was the day i drunk dialled my manager that i have a crush on. anyway we were normal at work for a while except he started to do this thing where he would poke and grab my waist as we worked. +he started to try and text me again last week but i ghosted and THANK GODDD we haven't been on shift together since but i’m seeing him this week -_- oh!! and this guy is a failed musician. his music kinda sucksss too

guy no.2

21 year old hot junior chef. we started flirting together at work and smoked together. we mostly snapchatted (-_-) and i sent him multiple pics of my tits and he would talk about fucking me in his car and choking me on his dick but at work we would keep it lowkey but still kinda flirt. wasn't into it at first when he was reallllly into it but then i was but ig it was too late bc he lost interest and then i developed a full on crush but THENNN i find out he had a fucking fiancee the whole time and lives with her which i should've fucking known bc he would be like 'let's keep this between us yeah'. now we're awkward af at work like we literally do not speak or look at each other and i saw him shirtless by accident in the staff room and tbh he looks like shit like whyyy did i think he was hot. also im prettier than his fiancee. im over him now (after crying ab it for a bit..) but not before i stalked the shit out of him like i literally have his address (i need to work on my bpd)

guy no.3

28 years old. another bartender/ sort of manager who deffo likes me but he's the awkward type that wont act on it really he mostly just pokes me jokingly and grabs me while we work. calls me 'angel, babe and darling' and is always offering me rides and there is a weird vibe in the car everytime. not to mention that weird line when he was like 'dream of me until we next see each other' like???

guy no.4

29 years old. my actual manager. the first guy here that i had a crush on and it was super fucking intense. he’s the guy i drunk dialled (he ignored me..)  i still kinda like him but also have been v distracted by my other guy troubles soooo. nothing really happens between us tbh he is very hot and cold me but not with anyone else??? and it pisses me off like he's known as the laidback manager that doesn't gaf but everytime with me he's like telling me to do my job even tho im doing it and it's kinda in a mean way. (but he's not like that with anyone else??) idk sometimes i get vibes i annoy him but then he’s playful w the next second?? but also i remember that one shift we had together which was v nice when he called me 'angel' and 'darling' and we had pretty good banter idk i want that back. he also reminds me of mac miller sooooo

guy no.5

25 years old. very recent development since i've only been on shift with him a few times bc he was off sick when i started. also a bartender. arguably the hottest guy i've had a thing with so far. we have soooo much fun together when we work omg he's always calling me 'gorgeous' 'babe' 'princess' etc etc i kinda fell in love after one shift lol and he's suuuuuuper strong like he can lift me with one arm. we also have great banter and he's always hugging me, grabbing my waist and tickling bc he knows im super super ticklish but it's fine it's kinda our thing. anywayyyy currently i like him the most aaaaand i rlly rlly miss him. i’ll see him on my second shift after isolation tho<3

[judgement-free-sideblog]

Blood, tears and sea breeze

Warnings: ANGST, mental health issues, graphic depictions of violence, blood, cursing, mentions of sexual assault, mentions of sex, substance abuse.

Summary: The not so peaceful town of Broadchurch face dead again, while Alec Hardy continues his journey to redemption will this school teacher be the key to solve the mystery or just another victim of the ever watching evilness that seems to reside in the town.

Hi!!! Long time without posting, work has been crazy, so many painful things, but I have a tiny space of time and I wanted to think about something else for a change, new chapter, more questions and so close to the end. I hope everyone is safe and healthy. Please take care of yourselves, mental health is so important, specially in times like this. We will get out of this, until then I send you a lot of love and hugs from here.

Atte: a still tired but more hopeful doctor

First Previous Next

Chapter 18: Reality

The stinging pain across your cheek somehow brought you back to reality, a reality that you had comfortably numbed away the moment the handcuffs closed around your wrists.

But reality could be tricky sometimes, because the brief stolen kisses on his livingroom, the innocent way he touched your face, and the hunger look on his eyes every night you escape to sleep alone in his room were part of reality, even when now they feel ages away, and numbing all the pain, all the desperation even those perfect moments was the best solution you could find, because the way the kindness evaporate from his eyes when he told you "Miss Y/L/N, you are under arrest for the murder of Jonathan Norbury" and was replaced for an empty void and disappointment in his voice, was enough to keep you from wanting to be in this reality.

But you were back, the echo of Ash words were hurting you, because she was wrong, you love them too, and you would have never wanted any of that trouble for them, she was wrong for believing that you wanted any of this, but she was right to call you all thos hurtful things, even when you were not sure of what you did you felt like you deserved it.

And what did you do? Did you really slept with Charlie? Charlie who was more like an awkward little brother that anything to you, did you really order him to ... kill Jonathan? Even thinking about it was to hard to process, you tried search for your bracelet again knowing to well it wasn't there, but your hands were handcuffed to the table and the more you pull from them the more they hurt, and the cold steel started to mark your wrists.

And somehow that pain kept you from blacking out, the thought of Alec angry and sad because of you alone in his house again, Ashley's words, and Jonathan's body on the floor, and you started crying, letting the pain wash out from your eyes, and then as your wrist started to bleed from the handcuffs clarity followed, you were not screaming as last time, because there was something you could not shake off your mind, something that was almost ridiculous, like the idea of even touching Charlie, and the sudden realization make you wanted to laugh, but you keep it quiet, because the pretty officer that had brought you in returned with a laptop and you didn't want to appear more disturbed than they already thought you were.

***************************************************

"Sugar?" Miller said offering a small bowl to Ashley Langford, she seemed stressed and there were a few wrinkles around her eyes and her hair looked less shiny than usual, somehow Miller thought, she looked more human.

"Oh no, it's fine thank you" she said and kept looking at the door. " I'm sorry for the way I acted, is just that my parents are very old and having the police coming and trash the place was..." she put the tea aside and covered her face with her hands before starting to cry. "How did this happened? My brother is an asswhole but he would never... oh god what did he do?" She cried again and Miller offered her a paper tissue.

"Miss Langford I'm so sorry for the inconvenience that this process is causing you, but I can't tell you any details about the investigation, we are going to need you to cooperate with us and told us everything about your brother relationship with Y/N" she said and the woman rise her look puzzled.

"I'm sorry, but I already know, everybody knows" she said and Miller was shocked to hear that. "It's all on the internet, a friend of mine send it to me this morning, I called Charlie and he gave me a very confusing response and I run to my parents house to question him about them, but they had already arrested him" she said and took her phone out of her purse to show her.

They were not the explicit videos that Ramos had found, but they left clear that Y/N and Charlie were together and they had killed Jonathan.

"What did your brother said?" Miller asked when a quick search on her social media let her know that maybe all of Broadchurch had seen Y/N confession.

"I don't know, he sounded confused, angry, he said That count thinks that because that old jock is shagging her now she can dump me she is crazier than I thought, we'll see how much he likes her after this" she was convinced he meant some of the girls he often meet at bars, but the truth was clear to Ellie.

A couple nights before, in the middle of the night Alec had texted her to meet on the piers, on their usual spot. And after some crafted lie to Brian she was there, ready to fight whatever demon was torturing his mind, however what she found was different, he had a quiet smile, looking at the waves, and enjoying the sound of the ocean in the night, if she didn't knew him any better she would have swear that he was humming a song.

"Having a good night sir?" She asked and sited next to him.

"Miller, do you think I'm bad at my job?" He asked and she kept trying to guess his train of thought, a sixth sense told her she already knew what was happening, but she didn't want it to be truth.

"Yes, you are a nightmare, what is happening?" She said humoring him and he became all serious.

"Just answer the bloody question Ellie" the use of her name let her know it was serious so she looked at the ocean for a a long moment before speaking.

"You are not, you are capable, witted, yes you are a nightmare, but you are quite good at your job" She said honestly.

"Do you trust my judgment?" He asked then almost in a whisper.

"Without a doubt sir" she said, and before he could reply and make her part of something that was clearly against the rules she stoped him. "I trust you would never jeopardize an active investigation, and that whatever choice you make on your... personal... life, would be after a deep and conscious consideration" she said looking deeply into his eyes.

"Ellie..." He started but he knew he should keep it quiet, this was for the best. "Thank you detective Miller"

"You are welcome sir, and if I may... I hope you are happy, and have a good night" she said, meaning every word, even when the pain was pushing to make her cry. "I will change the patrol on your house tomorrow, to someone more trustworthy, you know for safety" she said and walked away from the piers, leaving him with that stupid smile on his face.

And now all she could think off was him alone in his house angry at himself and she had the need to run to his side, but no, there was only one way out of this for him, without damaging his image more, and that was with a conviction on Y/N, so she took Ashley Langford declaration and it was now certain for her that Charles had posted those videos, the how he found out Y/N was involved with a certain scottish man was still a mystery but she was determined to find out.

***************************************************

But I like you and your cock better than Jonathan's, Charlie the sound of your voice coming from the laptop saying those things almost made you throw up, but you kept watching You should kill him already and we can leave this place, don't you think big boy? It was you, there was no doubt about it, it was you in a very ordinary and nasty room, acting like a drunk idiot, rubbing your almost naked body on Charles, who had the creepiest smug on his face and you wanted to slap that dump expression out of him, this was degrading and humiliating, but you were focused, as you had been the last few days, everything was more clear than it had been in the last year and your mind was running fast trying to focus on one sole detail.

You have seen at least four different videos of yourself and the dates on them click on your head with dumb fights with Jonathan, headaches or days that everything seemed blurry, and for a solid minute your mind start deviating and consider the idea that maybe you were actually guilty, that maybe this semi naked idiot was actually you, but before that ridiculous idea could consume you another stupid phrase out of Charlie's mouth made DC Ramos blush and made you remember something as DC Harford looked careful at you.

The last time you had blushed was a few days ago in Alec's couch, once you came back from the cliff and he turned up the heat since the both of you were wet from the rain that had made you run inside, kissing him had been a childish decision, and he kissing you back was just as bad, but now you were sitting on the couch covered with a blanket and holding a cup of tea, glad that Daze was god knows where and you could talk like adults.

"We shouldn't" you started, "I want to, I really do, but you are still leading the case, and I can't lie, and if someone asks me are you sleeping with detective Hardy I will say yes, and ..." You blush at the look he gave you and quickly hide your face away from his smile.

"Fine, you should lock your door tonight then" he said jokingly with a playful grin and for a moment you wonder were have this man been all this time.

"Sure detective, let's make dinner, I'm starving" you said and kissed him again, thinking at the moment that everything was alright, but now as agent Ramos looked uncomfortable away from you the little bubble of happiness was finally burst, and once again that anger make your memories come back to you the image of the night club cleared, the toothy grin of the man in the red shirt, finally had a name, and things became more and more focused and you looked up to DC Harford.

"Enough" You said a little more aggressive than expected, but they stopped looking at you with petty on their eyes if just for a moment. "I seen enough, what do you want to know?"

***************************************************

"Look everyone in Broadchurch is talking about you" Miller started showing Charles her phone with the edited videos "Are you going to keep pretending that you had nothing to do with this or are you finally going to talk?" She said and the authority on her voice irritated him.

"Where is the guy?" He asked looking at the empty chair next to her, but he had abandoned the erratic tone, and was talking quietly.

"In the other room talking to your girlfriend here" she said pointing at the pictures. "Whom I think will say everything so I will recomend you to start talking"

"No the little eye candy, the other one, the old one" he said and smiled when she change her stoic look. "I liked the guy, seems tough" he said with honesty and she repressed the impulse to sigh in relief.

"He is not working today" she said and tried to regain her pose. "He is loosing all the fun".

"Oh sad, because this is so entertaining" he said sarcastically "What do you expect me to say? I post them, she is suppose to be mourning, and sad, but no, the little cunt is so happy walking holding hands with some arse, well what can I expect right? She cheated on Jonathan, why wouldn't she cheat on me too" he said it upset at the thought of the woman seeing another men, and the whole situation became ridiculous to Miller, and at the same time something was not coming together.

"Did you saw her with someone else?" She asked cautiously, knowing too well that until the las four hours she had been enclosed in Hardy's house and if she ever leave his place was with him.

"I did, a couple days ago, acting like Jonathan was nothing to her, like I was nothing" He said, and she desperately needed to know if he was lying, because if he meant Alec he would have said it since the beginning, but if he meant someone else, who? Unless... maybe he was fabricating the whole thing.

"How was him?" She asked and without hesitation she add "I mean she has a type, Jonathan, you... another how did you call agent Ramos? Eye candy"

"Yeah" he said smiling sardonically "Some bloke, you know tall, black hair, I could take him down" it sounded rehearsed, and it became clear he was lying when he nervously add "Clean shaved bastard"

She was about to say something else when the door was opened and a nervous Harford came inside.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but we need you" she said and Miller followed her outside leaving a puzzled Charlie behind.

"What happened?" She asked and Katie looked at her feet uncomfortable "She still hasn't talked?"

"No, that's the problem, she talks but she says she doesn't remember anything..." she started

"Well she make this idiot kill her fiance I'm not surprised she wants to pretend it didn't happen" Miller say spiteful.

"No that's not the problem, she says she will confess, but only to you" she said and Miller was surprised to hear that.

"Absolutely no" she said calmly.

"I say that and she went silent again" I try everything, we even show her how those videos are running through all the town, by the way how the fuck that happened?" She said and show her a link send to her by her dad. "But she keeps asking for you"

Ellie remembered the last time she walked inside that particular interrogation room, a part of her wanted answers, but she feared she would act up against her, and ruin the case as she have done all those years ago, but no, Haedy needed her to fix this, so she make up her mind an asked Katie to leave her alone inside.

***************************************************

"Ellie" you said once she was sitted in front of you, "it may be in our best interest if you gave me 5 minutes before turning on that thing" you said looking at the tape recorder that Harford had turned off.

"Is Detective Miller, and why would I listen to you?" She said and her tone was not only dry and professional but also rude at some point.

"Because if you care about Alec as much as I do you may want to hear what I have to say first" you said and she raised her hand and you prepared to feel the pain in your face again but she only put the pictures of Jonathan's body and screenshots from the filthy videos in front of you.

"This is caring for him?" She said and this time was no longer any professionalism on her voice. "You have five minutes" she said finally.

"I didn't sleep with him" you said and she gave you an incredulous look "Alec," you said exasperated "I thought is better to let that out in the open, nothing happened, so he is safe on that end... and I have no intention of talking to a lawyer so you can rest" you said and her expression softened a little "where is he?" You couldn't help but ask.

"Alone in his house, probably wondering why did he trusted you" she spat at you "4 and a half minutes"

"Fine, I don't remember anything of this, ok? Completely blank, but I'm not an idiot I know how that sounds, and I won't play the victim, I will confess, to what is here to whatever agent Harford needs to put Charlie on jail, and me if I have to"

"And how are you so sure about Langford being guilty?" She asked.

"Because I remember now, the day I found him like this" you said pointing at the picture, I took the bus home and Charles was there, he put him there" you said since the images were flowing back to your mind, and you remembered, "I start screaming for help when I saw him, he said something about this being what I wanted, what I asked him to do all the time, and I fight him to run away and then I just remember his hand in my neck and the taste of something bitter he force down my throat and before everything went black again I saw him put my ring on his hand" you said and Ellie's eyes opened up drastically.

"The broken ring?" She said quietly.

"Yes, the next thing I remember was being in the front door reading Jonathan's letter, getting inside and freaking out over his body" you said very aware of how unrealistic all that sounded but she had to listen to you "He posted all this crap, but nothing about the parking lot, and I'm sure I fight that time, and this person that I don't remember is willing, drunk or drugged with a split personality or whatever, but she appeared to be ok with what is happening, then why will I need to scream, and run and fight on that car? What was different then, why did he needed to make a show out of Jonathan's dead, if he was so sure I wanted this, why did he have to make it all this big?" you said aware of the way that sounded but for some reason something on her eyes said she might believe you.

"I have no interest in understanding the train of thought of a lunatic" She Miller said trying to hide her own concerns "What is your point?"

"You are bsolutely right, but this was post right after we..." start dating? That sounded childish, we kiss? Sure Y/N rub it on her face "All I can think is that this is not over, and I can't let whatever else is coming affect Alec, so I'll confess so this ends quickly, but I need you to make sure he doesn't get dragged into this, I can't have that on me"

"Your time is up" she said and put out the note pad where you should write the declaration, completely ignoring your words.

"Ok, where should I start?" You said resigned.

"You are really going to confess?" She asked surprised and didn't turn the device on yet "why? If you really think there is more to it than the evidence, then why?"

"No matter how, I'm responsible for his dead, I might as well start paying, also this way I can make sure Alec's reputation and Ashley's life doesn't get more damaged for my mistakes" you said firmly.

"You really care about him huh?" She said and gave you a half smile. "I think I know exactly where you should start" she said and started writing instructions on the notepad, before you start speaking.

Tag list:

@allonsymexgirl @laciesaito @tf18unipups @dazedkrosupreme @timey-wimey-lovi @coffees-and-constellations @ladyaziraphale @acid-gurkerl @moonuvert @tennantious

[shawcl]

15Qs tag game

i got tagged by @floralminho​, thank you so much rae ♥

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

i only ask for money now and usually get that lol

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

i’m currently listening to mac miller’s album ‘swimming’ while working (don’t look at me i’m taking a lil break). it’s one of my favorites!!

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

we got this semi healthy snack with peas? idk but i‘m kinda obsessed with that djdjdkd other than that potato chips are always my go to

4. What is your morning routine?

that depends on the day lol if i have to drive to work: first lie in bed and curse my very existence, get up, dress, brush my teeth, do some skincare, make a quick breakfast sandwich for on the go bc i literally always get up last minute (sleep >>>>>>>>)

if i work at home: lie in bed and curse my existence, get up, turn on the pc, make myself some breakfast while everything’s loading, scroll through tumblr a bit, start working in my pjs lol and eventually dress in some other lose clothes and brush my teeth and shit

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

a hobbit!!! living the dream life

6. How do you interact with somebody that you don’t like?

i usually try to be nice to everyone, i might be really awkward tho and people who know me always say they can tell that smth irks me asdfasdfa

7. How do you define a toxic person?

pretty much everything rae said: controlling, manipulative, self-centered, always brings you down, etc. 

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

i‘ve been to countless concerts including some kpop but no fan meet so far

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

not rly, it‘s fun tho!

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

LMAO i think abt this question all the time idek know why. but i can never decide between sight and hearing, music‘s basically my life so i can‘t rly imagine not being able to hear anymore, but i also like to take pictures and see pretty skies u see my struggle here

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

yoongi’s been my ult for 5 years now so... but also jonghyun and basically all of shinee they rly be my source of happiness always

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

listen friends... i’m socially anxious lmao idk how people do that at fansigns and shit i wouldn’t be able to say a word, but let’s just say that’s not the case i’d like to tell bts and shinee how much they mean to me and how much they helped me throughout the past few years and how proud i am of them. i’m rly bad at feelings and cheesy stuff so i’ll leave that here asdfasdfasdf

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

uhhhhhh idk, i like doing smth nature-y and also live close to the swiss boarder so we could drive to some pretty lakes. yes, a daytrip, that’s it. also anything including yum food is always good. but not in switzerland bc expensive. 

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

depending on the mood, i like both!!

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

bro lmao it’s bad, like really bad. before i got into kpop i bought sooooo many band shirts like i have way too many and now they in my closet and idk what to do with them. that’s the reason i’m withholding myself when it comes to kpop and only buy the albums and some concert dvds. i got all of bts albums, most of shinee’s including solos and some other groups in between, but ever since 1-2 years ago i only buy btshinee stuff. oh i also got an agust d shirt bc i was weak but that’s it. 

ok so i’m tagging @taemines @daechwitamv @lamperos @everythingoes @hosnack and @softesthobi !! ^_^

[thelittlefanpire]

My the 100 6x01 Thoughts

I live-tweeted last season, but I thought I’d just do a post of everything as I’m watching right here. Feel free to ignore or discuss. It’s not 100% positive about everything or everyone, so beware.

New Title Sequence is bomb af.

Omg Monty making me cry first thing. Stop. (But like did my Marper tears ever stop? Answer is no.)

Everything Zaven is so bitter...sweet. And he met Becca so like foreshadowing...are we going to see more of her this season? Right?!

Jordan is so adorable. I just love this awkward Spaceboy!

Miller and Bellamy being bros again was the best! I love it. So happy they’re good now.

All the parallels!!!

Planet Alpha is a MOON.

The First on the Ground/ We’re back bitches! It was cheesy, but I loved it.

*anti-ish Shaw*Also Shaw hating on Clarke so hard to soften the blow of his death is shit. RIGHT?! #DESERVEDBETTER

Niylah woke up Octvaia. Lol. Why can’t we see more of these two? Like are they a couple? How is Niylah just the Jane of All Trades on this show??? You know!!!!

The new planet is pretty tho.

Murphy going to the water and dragging Emori in was so cute and I completely missed the S1 parallel at first but I love it!

*anti Becho* Also the Becho head nod, lol no. Isn’t the lake a Bellarke thing in the books?

Mackson. Jackson got more convo in that scene than he did in 6 whole seasons combined. Lol.

The whole fireside chat was not my fav.

*anti Becho* I’m not even going to mention the forgiveness thing...🤔

“If I could I could go back and do things differently” is so foreshadowing I don’t know what to tell you!! #FaceYourDemons

The Princess Cockroach snark was the only good thing here. The smirk at the end.

*anti-ish Shaw* Shaw can die now. (ONLY BECAUSE HE WAS BEING SO MEAN TO CLARKE AND THE SHOW WANTS YOU TO FEEL THAT WAY SO HE CAN DIE) #DESERVEDBETTER

The bugs!

And then Shaw runs straight into the radiation and dies. #RIP

LIEUTENANT MILES EZEKIEL ‘ZEKE’ SHAW JOINS A LONG LIST OF POC THAT #DESERVEDBETTER

The Raven/Abby scenes just hurt.

The castle!!!!!! I’m still not sure of the layout of Sanctum like are they down at the bottom looking at all this????

Sassy Bellamy is my favorite Bellamy.

where’s the Murphy Kinky gif at tho?

Why are there creepy altars to the Lightborns?!

Kane/Octavia scene was so great. (acting not necessarily chars) Like I really love that these characters are saying these things out loud even if it feels redundant and so extra. And then Kane goes back to sleep. See you later HIC!

Abby trying to save him was so...whew. Yuck. Too much blood.

Everyone has really great eyebrows for a thrice over post-apocalyptic world.

The Murphy Show!!!!! Really was such a surprise the first time watching and I love it.

The Primes...Pramheda... 👀

Shoutout to @pawprinterfanfic for noticing Josephine Lightborn is the author of that red sun rising book!

I wish Madi/Octavia had gone to school...why didn’t they set up Clarke as a sister instead of a mother???? Like in all the interviews it’s mother but like the older sister/brother parallel is right there!!!!

The Radio Calls was the cutest Bellarke scene!!!! They are so in loveeeeeeee!

But like imagine nerd!bellamy reading this kid book inside before he realized what it was. #nerd

Okay. I really loved this episode overall. Lots of talking and callbacks and parallels! Almost all of my favorites! The new planet and new character hints are shaping up to be super intriguing! I hated that Zeke got killed off, but kinda thought that was going to happen because the actor hadn’t been on set. I wasn’t liking all the Clarke hate from Spacekru but I’m just hoping these characters can work through all their problems eventually.

Enjoyment Score: 90/100

[whotookcheesuschrist]

Some excerpts from the playthrough

I was pretty close to getting chills from that intro. That is the most atmospheric video game intro I’ve experienced thus far. All the way from the menu to the actual game. Fucking damn. (Apart from maybe Dragon Age Inquisition.)

Made it through the first part on the first try. Saved. It didn’t save as far as I thought it would and I had to do it again, failing four times. :-(

“Behold, my amazingly rendered abs. And flat-ass face.”

You can tell this is game was a first attempt in many things; such as delivering awkward, awkward lines.

There is a mission briefing mimicking VHS tapes and I fucking love it.

Whuh... COLONEL DID YOU KILL HIS DOGS? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So... that was intensly antagonistic of a character who have up to this point been delivering barely any support apart from diet-coke Sun Tzu.

Speaking of Sun-Tzu...

As of writing I’ve finished MGS2, and there’s a certain related part of that that I will get into on a later date, but this one, more than what’s to come, reminds me of that police interrogation in The Venture Bros.

YOUU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!

In the most threatening way possible, say the words: Follow the mice.

These controls are hUaORRIBLe

In one way, yes, it adds to the difficulty without being forced, but good fucking god, trying to figure out which direction I’m supposed to push the stick while pressing up against a wall is a nightmare. And having to stand still while shooting and not being able to move while aiming at all is... not very user-friendly design. Thank God for auto-aim

In a similar vein, a third-person shooter with the camera angle being from what we Norwegians call bird perspective is a bit of a challenge

The game play is still pretty dope though

Bee tee dubbs, the ex-Fox unit is hereby dubbed the Suicide Squad

(I would totally play a super-hero video game with that kind of lay-out of the villains and the hero. I think this could actually transfer to comics as well, the way the villains are set-up, introduced and used.)

First meeting with Metrosexual Noodle Eastern.

"I love to reload during a battle! There's nothing like the feeling of slamming a long silver bullet into a well greased chamber." — Revolver Ocelot, Metal Gear Solid.

I bet you do, Ozzie

This game is not complete without a ninja.

There’s a masturbation joke lying in there somewhere.

So far this game has been surprisingly Not Gay. Except from Snake’s sick abs, but then comes Otacon and fucks my shit up on so many levels.

Johny’s grand introduction: Face down, ass up

Meryl... I really like Meryl, but she is so obviously one of the “not like other girls”, tomboy-ish archetype that isn’t really all that useful. It’s pretty sad, because we see her kick ass. We know she can, so it’s a little sad that she isn’t properly utilized.

Poor Otacon.

The ninja was depressingly easy to best. I know the TWEETHT!! that comes later with this guy, but man, you’d think it’d be more of a fight.

OH. MY GOD. Let me count down how many ways Otacon’s introduction is gay.

After being saved from death by katana, Otacon stares at Snake downward-up. When the camera stops, we get a damn good shot, yet again, of Snake’s Sick Abs.

“You’re uniform is not like the others...”

The disappointment in Otacon’s voice upon learning that he was not the goal.

The symbolism of Otacon literally coming out of the closet.

Snake sitting with legs crossed like a fucking femme fatale as he and Otacon catch up to speed

Snake inspecting Otacon, crotch on up

Snake walking up to Otacon until he’s one foot away, laying his hand on his shoulder and asking “you okay?” in an uncharacteristic, caring voice: and Otacon being weirede out by it, commenting: “What’s wrong, getting all friendly all of a sudden...”, to which Snake just awkwardly backs away and says “uh nothing, just... glad you’re okay”

Forget Meryl, Hal’s your love interest and we all know it.

“I’ve been therapied into not having an interest in men and no one can break the spell at all none at all nuh-uh...” And of course Snake is going to prove them wrong. Eww. Call it a product of its time, but still, gross.

Bee-tee-dubbs, Otacon and Snake discussing Meryl’s low-pixelated ass strikes me as hilariously “no homo”. I’m pretty sure, given how Hideo is on the subject in later games, that all of it is intentional. Subtext included.

Psycho Mantis, stop dissing my game stats

Poor dude. Seriously, that is a sad and solid backstory for a character

“Riussiain lieady rieportyingk in on wieapions” I like her tho

Man, this game... In all of the silliness it is STILL on-point with its social commentary. Nastasha’s talks about the START programs, nuclear disarmament, the money involved, the ultimate plan of the Foxhound members, nuclear programs made for short-range launches... All of these are things that I’ve seen in the news this week, and what goes on in the game takes place in the year 2005. Not to mention us becoming more and more desensitized to violence and warfare. It is frightening to behold. I wish I had it in me to talk about all of this at length, because there is really a well of subject matters to discuss here.

Once again I experience a video game trying to impose on me that, in the story, something is urgent, but in reality, I have hours of backtracking if I want to.

I... kinda like the voice they gave Sniper Wolf. And that she’s Kurd; it is nice to see that Hideo remembers a little history. And it brings a little variation in a very formulaic artistic industry.

There is nothing so jarring as video game characters talking specifically about the controls on your PS controller. Abs are still sick. I like the little touch that this death will be different from the others, and set you somewhat back in progress. Not enough for it to make an impact, but I appreciate the effort; the game is present even on its own metalevel

Otacon, you sap. Oh and thank you for massaging my arm, Naomi

If Johnny were ever to be in a Rambo-parody the first movie would be called Johnny - First Brown

My old enemy... Stairs...

OTACON DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT SUBTEXT MEANS

My tactic for handling this: laying down land mines whenever possible and run like a pussy.

Sniper’s demise, the entire scene for all parties involved, is pretty heartfelt still you two should kiss

I have literally played Die Hard.

HUHHHH! THE PLOT THICKENS! WE’VE BEEN BETRAYED!

Vulcan Raven has no sense of humor. I am big man McLargebeef. Fear me.

One of the greatest things about this game is the boss fights. All of them are different and interesting, fun to play. Same goes for the rest of the game: nothing ever gets to the point of being samey.

I mentioned atmosphere earlier, and oh how I do love this for keeping it throughout. This feels like a beautiful tribute to the 80′s action movies, in tone and spirit as well. This is what the 80′s style tribute that we’ve seen lately really ought to be: specs of hilarity and ridiculoussness mixed with complete sincerity and genuine, dark depth, without getting to caught up in aesthetic.

Metal Gear Chicken.

How can anyone survive working on that thing.

I wonder what Ocelot really thought of Liquid.

GAAASP! MILLER IS BRITISH! OH NO!

Liquid is just an asshole, but if that was his upbringing I feel a little bad for him. No wonder he hyper-compensates.

Snake takes these news surprisingly well

Snake being made into a weapon, robbed of information that he really needs: this game makes his feelings and responses, however douchy, feels quite earned

I am fighting a giant mecha and this is STILL a stealth game.

Okay that... that surprise from Gray Fox actually was a surprise. And what the fuck is he MADE of.

So Richard Dawkins is to blame...

           OF COURSE-

SHIRTLESS BATTLE! OVER A WOMAN!

“MACGYVEEEEEEEEEER!”

Surprise bitch I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me

Liquid’s death is surprisingly evocative for me. I really do feel like Liquid’s plan is more important to him than anything, because he that desperately needs to prove himself in the light of his “father”.

...

                    ...

          ...

          ...

          ...

          .                           .                         .           

          WILL YOU           SHUT UP

BTW I made it through without sacrificing Meryl. I’ve learned what happens in the other ending, and it is pretty dumb how that one leads so much better into the next game than the other. And while on the subject

Woah, yet another twist. Although knowing what I do about Ocelot now it is hardly that surprising. The impact of this is still satisfying and intriguing, because there are things in the game that for someone who isn’t already completely familiar with them seems a bit weird. The reveals here makes some things falll into place, and I am surprised that the game actually did specifically build up to a sequel

It strikes me that I haven’t talked once about the performances. While there are a lot of them that don’t go all in, you gotta give David Hayter props for this, as well as several of the others. This must’ve been so very strange to work on for all of them: not quite a translation from a japanese work, not quite American either, giving this exposition-heavy dialogue a unique life of its own

And the game naming Snake after him is a very cute touch, one that I’m ashamed to say that I haven’t thought of before. And no one could give Snake the layers of believable capability and apparent ineptitude better than he. IQ of 180 my ass.

GOD that ending dragged on.

[craigseyebrows-blog]

realistic modern the outsiders head cannons

Ponyboy

-is that one mf that sends you sc streaks even though you’ve asked multiple times for him to stop

-will come up with every excuse in the world of why you beat him by 0.002 seconds in a foot race 

(ex: I got ran over by a truck and a dog mauled my kneecaps so that’s why I’m not that fast today but I can beat you like every other time) 

-posts sunsets or deep ass quotes/song lyrics on social media

-listens to a lot of tøp and tyler the creator 

-claims to have a better music taste than you

-worships bob ross

-wears a lot of GOLF merch

-that one dude who sends you the answers to the homework when you ask

Sodapop

-ahem, F U C K B O Y

-he can actually commit sometimes....rarely

-that one mf that sends you “lol u up?” at like 3 am

-kinda sweet tho

-chick magnet

-wears a lot of thrasher/rip n dip/vans

-master of friend zoning people

-”awe I like you as a friend too!”

-despite him being an ass, if you touch someone he cares about, expect immense pain

-really dumb

-listens to lil pump and famous dex

-Read at 12:53

-”dude steve ur looking like a hella snack and I wanna just eat u up but like no homo”

-said no homo more times than “I love you”

Darry

-pretty much a dad

-gossips with all the PTA moms

-quietly judging every other track mom for bringing shit snacks

-is in college yet manages to take care of two lil shits, go to every PTA/track meet and keep up stable grades

-lol wtf is sleep

-feels refreshed with like 5 seconds of sleep

-survives off coffee

-saved up for a nice truck but bought a minivan after putting some thought into it

-on the grill at any event

-owns like 20 fanny packs

-just wears whatever is affordable 

-listens to a lot of music from the 80s

Johnny

-that one really quiet kid in class

-even tho he’s quiet he’s not the shy, awkward, cute quiet, he’s the “I think he’s judging me/hates me” quiet

-listens to a lot of old music from like the 70s and 80s

-looks harmless but will cut you

-falls asleep in class a lot

-pretty obsessed with stranger things

-hair is extremely floof 

-has a resting bitch face sometimes

-that one kid in group projects who ends up doing all the work

-only posts photos of his pet on social media

-hangs out or has sleep overs with ponyboy like daily

-literally dally is his senpai yet he’s the polar opposite of him

-usually just wears a dark blue hoodie and a pair of black jeans

Dallas

-really problematic (guy’s be honest with yourself, he was literally harassing Cherry okay? What makes you think he’d be a activist now?)

-has a shit ton of meaningless tattoos

-smokes a lot of weed and takes xanax here and there but aside from that he doesn’t really do any other drugs

-snake bite piercings, double ear piercing, nose piercing and an eyebrow piercing

-posts a lot of artsy/edgy photos on social media

-lost count of how many times he’s been to jail

-wears a lot of ripped jeans/edgy shirts and vans

-listens mainly to lil peep, nirvana and post malone

-#gayforjohnny

-literally if you touch Johnny he’ll stab you

-pretends to be homophobic even though he himself is gaaay

-”lol wtf is commitment”

-will forget everyone of his gf’s birthday but can tell you where Johnny last pissed, location, time and everything to the tee

Two-bit

-runs a meme acc

-don’t even try to show him a meme bc he’ll most likely respond with “I’ve already seen that”

-don’t try to roast him bc you be obliterated in fucking seconds

-”I drink to forget but I always remember”

-will tell you dad jokes as punishment

-disney fanboy af

-probs a conspiracy theorist 

-quotes vines

-listens to joji miller/pink guy

-mainly wears joke shirts from hot topic or anything with mickey mouse on it

-really likes animations but can't draw for shit

-he doesn’t really know or care when he’s sober anymore

-class clown

-the one asshole that when your mom calls you he starts moaning or screaming “PASS THE BLUNT”

-went to disney world once and passed out after getting an autograph from Mickey

Steve

-listens to a shit ton of country

-brags about having high-end cars but actually drives 1984 chevrolet truck

-makes car reviews on youtube with loud obnoxious dubstep as background music

-accidentally watched rupauls drag race thinking it was on cars and still is secretly obsessed with it

-orders chocolate cake at every restaurant no matter what

-modern redneck 

-preaches about how homosexuals ruin america but would gladly suck off soda any day of the week

-smells like cigarettes and gasoline

-plays a lot of racing games

-wears a lot of plaid or true religion 

[dorkcresswxll]

i went...... hard y’all this is so extra and embarrassing but i spent like,, over an hour writing this down so ur all gonna see it u better.

Why did you choose to play the character that you do at Crimson Revolt?

im gonna be honest like………………………………. i picked dirk bc i wanted to play ezra miller lmao. I KNOW HOW SHALLOW THAT IS DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT OKAY I CAN EXPLAIN!!!!!!!! alright so before i apped for crt the first time i was at…… a pretty low place confidence-wise bc i’d just left the first rpg i ever joined (also the first rp thing i ever did) and it was a pretty,,,, messy departure lmaoo i gotta admit i could’ve handled that better orz. BUT ANYWAY so i went looking through the ezra miller fc tag bc i’d just discovered this fabulous person and had vague ideas about a character that could fit the fc (dramatic, cheeky, a lil flamboyant) and was also thinking “i will never fall in love with a character the way i did my previous ones again” and more dramatic bullshit along those line bc like i said,,, bad time. obviously i didn’t find any active rpgs that had him in use so i checked crt bc i’d seen it around before and liked the look of it, so i sent the main an ask like “do you see ezra miller working for any of your open characters?” the admin at the time pointed me to barty crouch, peter pettigrew and dirk cresswell.

i just want to take a moment to digest that i could literally have played any of these three, cause all i had at the time was a vague idea of a character and a fc to match. i remember i spent days trying to decide between barty and dirk cause neither skeleton fit my vision perfectly and they both seemed aimed more towards an angry jock-type character (especially dirk his fc was miles teller which…. should give u a good idea of what the admin at the time had in mind for him) ( i mean the first skeleton. the one on the main now is one i rewrote after the main crashed back in june.) (just to clarify: the original skeleton had just as much potential to evolve to a complex and intriguing character as any other skeleton here at crt. i just had my vaguely dramatic ezra miller bby and i wanted it. lmao.) but i liked challenging set characterizations and bringing unique perspectives to contrast against any expectations the admin/s might have about a character. which is why i tend to go for skeleton rps, you get more freedom with those. eventually i decided on dirk bc i liked the sound of aversio and grey moralities appeal to me greatly. i spent a long time delving into the character’s backstory and personality and all those deep-seated insecurities and compelling contradictions that make dirk up to be the person he is now. by the time i submitted the app i was thoroughly in love with the character and haven’t stopped since. he’s my most developed and my most beloved character to play thus far.

Do you have a favorite holiday?

NOPE. as long as im surrounded by people i love and a lot of snacks im good.

Do you prefer coffee or tea? Perhaps neither, or both?

coffee. coffee coffee coffee.

What is your personality type?

INFP-T. the mediator. 86% introverted lmaooo.

What is your Hogwarts House?

ahhh. when i first read the books a few years ago i was like ‘iM A SLYTHERIN DONT TOUCH ME!!!!!’ but i…………literally have the subtlety of a bulldozing stampede of rhinos im sure y’all noticed. i took the pottermore test and had the glaring red n gold show up on my face and i shut the laptop down so fast like liES I BELIEVE NONE OF THIS. then i took a fan-made test that put me in ravenclaw and i was like…………….. ok i accept this compromise i can work with that. lmao im such a gryffindor tho don’t look at me im just *flops* pottermore was right….. i accept my place now i have stopped running from the truth orz.

What is your Zodiac Sign?

Taurus.

Three most recently watched on Netflix?

SURPRISE! i don’t have netflix. most recent stuff i watched tho are Stranger Things 2, IT (2017) and…. i can’t remember orz. but im obsessed with stranger things taLK TO ME ABOUT STEVE HARRINGTON PLS I LOVE HIM SO MUCH *SOBS*

Describe your ride-or-die friend.

don’t call me out like this…………………………………. i don’t make friends in real life people are difficult and i am awkward orz.

If you could have any superpower, what would you choose?

the ability to focus whenever i want at whatever i want for however long i want and actually manage to be productive with my time. what do u mean this is not a superpower i need it to be one.

Are you an early bird or a night owl?

i have no sleep schedule to speak of. sometimes i sleep at five am and wake up at eight am to get to my classes, then have a six hour nap when i get home and stay up until four am again. sometimes i go to bed on eight pm and wake up at four in the morning and still sleep through my classes, take a small four hour nap when im home and spend obligatory time with the fam for a couple hours lmao. it’s like im just sleeping or waking up either way im always a step removed from a zombie. there is. no reason for any of this i just do it.

What is your favorite color?

YELLOW. it’s so bright and sunny and iouwodc. i love it.

What is the last book you read? What is your favorite?

ahhhh i can’t remember my memory is failing me. which is sad cause i used to pick up a new novel every other day but i just can’t be bothered anymore ugh. i think my favorite was the whole PJO & HoO series’ – i haven’t read the last book yet tho, so i’ll start rereading all ten books when i get the chance.

Where would you rather be right now?

on a bed. sleeping. alone. with a lot of blankets. solitude appeals to me on such a deep level guys u don’t even know.

Have you ever watched the sunrise?

the ones i remember are three – once when i was a kid with my mom, bc i wouldn’t go to sleep and it was approaching sunrise and i rambled about wanting to see the sun come up so my mom was like………………… ‘*throws hands up* ok u lil monster u win’ and took me to the roof to watch the sunrise lol. it was glorious. and cold. bc winter. the second time was with my cousins who were sleeping over (for the first time in a loooong tiiiimmmeeee) and we decided to spend the night up on the roof bc why not. the last time was with my brother i think he was up there fixing something or the other and i was just there….. to be annoying lmao.

Do you listen to music when you write? If yes, what kind of music?

oh no i can’t. i need everything and everyone to be quiet or i can’t write a thing.

What’s the one thing you especially love about roleplaying your muse/s?

what do i love about playing dirk…… his impulsive and his bright attitude and his endless optimism. he has such an uplifting presence and a cheeky sort of charm that makes it impossible for people not to love him, that makes his worming into other people’s hearts so entirely predictable and entertaining to play out. he is a myriad of contradictions – the difference between what he thinks everyone deserves and what he thinks he deserves is appalling, and with time it becomes clear that when he says things like “everyone needs someone to lean on” or “everyone could use some support” he is not referring to himself as a part of this ‘everyone’, if even on a subconscious level, does not find himself worthy of such kindness. he is a character so full of love he is spilling and overflowing with it, his raw emotions and his turbulent nature one of the dearest parts of him to me. the thin line he walks between being kind and violent, loyal and unforgiving, genuine and secretive. all the little details that make him up are reason for me to love him as dearly as i do.

What’s your favorite type of weather?

cold, but not too cold, y’know? just enough to wear a jacket but not so much you spend the night under five covers and a thermometer lmaoo.

What’s your best RP experience?

crt. no contest. and im not just saying that cause i’ve been in a bunch of rpgs by now and they all either a) lack dedicated admins/members b) are cliquey and non-inclusive at all or b) fall into inactivity a meager month or two after opening. crt is one of a kind.

Who inspires you?

this is actually a tough question cause i never really stop to think about it?? i draw inspiration from everything around me and it’s kinda like…. im constantly absorbing stuff from the environment im in and it’s like i’m always half-thinking about writing at any given moment, if that makes sense?? dunno.

Spread some love: mention someone you’ve met that has influenced you or your writing in a positive way and explain how!

ahhh okay so. before i tried roleplaying i stumbled upon this rpg in the fandom tag over a year ago and it’s basically been the catalyst for my time in the rpc. i was looking through the character’s blogs and found someone playing peter and i was like……….. not fond of peter at the time tbh but this person’s writing was so fucking incredible i checked their blog daily, just to see how this thread or that thread would go. their take on a character i’d only held distaste for before was so compelling and complex i was drawn in all the way, i’d even come to love the character so much and was constantly disarmed by the smallest to the biggest details in that person’s characterization – at least the details i could pick up on, some i’m sure went way over my head at the time. some details i still remember vividly and they’ve helped me shape my first character and have influenced my writing thereafter. i learned a lot about the duality of a character’s mind and how to express inner conflict by observing that person’s writing. (yes i sent them a nerdy af message gushing about all that bc they hadda know man…. they hadda know.)

[justanevilgirl]

Thomas Tom Holland - Wealthy white boy, his Father is the CEO of a big company in Boston. While his mother is a full time doctor. He has three brothers, Harrison, Lucas (levi miller) and Louis. * awkward, goofy little shit. * says the wrong things at the wrong time * stutters and trips over his feet frequently * helpless romantic, just looking for someone who gets him. * highly intelligent, like everyone else is smart af too (Ezra included) but Tom is other worldly. * the best liar of the group, so it's him who gets the raven boys out of sticky situations * had the idea of recreating events from mythology * feels very guilty for the death, beats himself up constantly for it. * dorky, but can get any girl and knows it. * pretty insecure tho

[dillydedalus]

december reading + top10 of the year

books.

a feast for crows, my main man grrm (#4 asoiaf) tbh i think this one is underrated - i understand feeling a bit underwhelmed on a first read bc it’s so much slower than asos & half the major characters aren’t in it & you get a bunch of new ones instead, but the thematic depth here! brienne seeing the devastation of the riverlands, thinking about outlaws & broken men & vigilante justice, sansa & arya both embarking on their apprentice arc & losing their identity in the process, the political intrigue in dorne, & the fucking hilarious shitshow that is cersei’s kings landing.... love it. 4.5/5

herkunft, saša stanišić (audio, sadly abridged) really good memoir/reflection about belonging, origin (national, ethnic, linguistic, familial, emotional), family, and living in germany as a refugee.  it’s really smart, really heartfelt, really funny, and i’m sooo annoyed that my library only has the abridged version. oh yeah it won the german book prize shortly after peter ‘serbian war criminals’ #1 fanboy’ handke won the nobel prize, which was nice. 4/5

a brief history of seven killings, marlon james (uni) marlon james probably laughed his ass off at calling this 700-page book (very small print) a brief history. anyway, this is about the attempted assassination of bob marley in the 70s, the cultural and political context in jamaica at the time, and the fallout of that event. honestly, reading this on a tight schedule for uni was just wrong for this book bc i had to rush thru it & ended up skimming quite a bit. it’s an impressive achievement, but i can’t say i enjoyed it very much. 3/5

she would be king, wayétu moore a magical realist story about the foundation of liberia, told thru three characters - an indigenous woman, an ex-slave from the us, and a mixed-race jamaican - all of whom have magical abilities. i really wanted to like this, but while there are a lot of good ideas, structurally this is kind of a mess (the first part, which introduces the characters is way too long & not very interesting, the connection between the three is supposed to be super significant but it really doesn’t come across, one character gets way more page time than the others), the writing is occasionally p awkward, and there is an odd thing where the narrator (kinda a ghost, kinda the wind) intrudes literally only to call one of the characters her darling or whatever & it’s irritating af. 2.5/5

a dance with dragons, grrm (#5 asoiaf) tbh this is by far my least favourite of the series.... it’s just way too long, a bit of a slog (especially the tyrion chapters...) & there is not a single sansa chapter which is fucked up. a lot of the storylines are really good tho (jon, THEON, asha, jaime...). i ended up liking the parts i used to dislike a bit more this time around tho if i ever read it again i will probably do the combined affc+adwd read bc that sounds fun & interesting. 4/5

the sellout, paul beatty (uni) smart & pretty funny satire about the idea of a post-racial america, in which a black man in the LA region tries to segregate the local community. there’s a lot of cool stuff in here and i really liked the ambiguity & refusal to present any clear-cut answers, solutions, or closure. 3/5

tamburlaine must die, louise welsh fun little novella about the last days of kit marlow, which made for an entertaining 2 hours altho the ending is pretty weak imo & the language slips into entirely too modern occasionally. kinda disappointed because based on the blurb i’d assumed that tamburlaine actually, literally came to life out of marlow’s plays which. is not the case. but would have been super cool. 2/5

radiance, grace draven not to reveal how profoundly problematique i am: this is a book about a human noblewoman entering into an arranged political marriage with a dude from the off-brand dark-elves dynasty & it is. way too wholesome, there is little angst, ildiko & brishen get along very well from the start & like, where’s the fear, the tension, the delicious, delicious ANGST?? 2.5/5

water shall refuse them, lucie mcknight hardy atmospheric witchy folk horror set in a small village in wales during the '76 heat wave - narrator nif’s family comes to live in a cottage there to take some time off after the accidental drowning of nif’s younger sister - the mother is consumed by grief and guilt, the father is trying to hold everyone together, and nif is constructing a witchy creed out of bird eggs and bones and magical thinking to cope, comparing weird witchy practices with local outsider mally. i liked this & altho i saw the twist coming miles away, it still makes for a pretty disturbing ending, and the way the book evokes the dizzy blurry heat and nif’s state of mind - detached, angry, confused, compulsive - is really effective. 3.5/5

a knight of the seven kingdoms, george r.r. martin dunk! is! babey! (except for moments where he displays staggering BDE) anyway these are three novellas set about 100 years pre-asoiaf, about dunk/duncan the tall & his squire, egg/aegon, the OG secret targaryen. the stories are wholesome, funny, cute, have a lot of dunk being a true knight but not a real knight which is extra-sweet when you realise that he’s almost definitely true-but-not-real knight brienne’s (great?)grandpapa. 4.5/5

my cousin rachel, daphne du maurier philip ashley, our narrator, really is like ‘hmmm have i been misogynistic yet today?? better get on that’, he’s awful & so is his older cousin ambrose, who marries distant cousin rachel in florence & then gets ill and dies, making phil rather suspicious about rachel. did rachel poison ambrose? is she trying to seduce and/or poison philip? or are they both just paranoid assholes who hate women (they def. hate women)? this is some good psychological thriller type stuff, what we can construct out of philip’s distorted view of rachel is intriguing (and like, if she poisoned ambrose? #goodforher), the narrator is an ass but well-written, and the first/last lines.... chills. 3.5/5

top 10 of the year (no rereads!)

antigonick, anne carson

a canticle for leibowitz, walter m. miller

dedalus, chris mccabe

the complete maus, art spiegelman

the artificial silk girl, irmgard keun

o caledonia, elspeth barker

the sparrow, mary doria russell

sleep of the righteous, wolfgang hilbig

how to survive a plague, david france

rain wild chronicles, robin hobb

(the last three are kinda randomly picked from the high-4s based on my mood in the moment but they’re all really good so.)