#not normal about this post (very positive)
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You know what? I want a whole post for this:
Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity
non-negotiable!
I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.
Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.
If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.
#we as asexual people have got to have a talk about this because the shit i have been seeing is NOT okay#asexuality#sex positivity#this is largely intracommunity allo people can engage w/ it but don't be clowns#original post#500#1k#PLEASE STOP TAGGING THIS AS 'CULTS' YOU CAN CRITIQUE A RELIGION W/O CALLING IT A CULT I AM BITING YOU#this barely even mentions Christianity like someone does not need to be in a cult to be sex negative. and also not all religions are cults#please be normal#other than that y'all have actually been very normal abt this one so far thank you#2k#5k
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Thinking many thoughts about Miss Andarateia Cantori tonight because what do you mean we get to be in her house for the entire game, in which she and her boyfriend/partner-in-crime run a gambling den, assassin guild ANd find the time to argue with the public administration while opposing a military occupation?? who does it like her??
Joke aside, I think she's an incredibly fun character, and I'm really happy that hers was the lens through which we saw the Crows this game. Whenever I see random posts and critiques commenting that the Crows were too "sanitised" or "found-family", I want to yell a bit, because DATV never claims that to be the case!! Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what we see is anchored in a very specific context: not just Treviso under Antaam occupation, but also the Cantori Diamond, which falls under Teia's jurisdiction.
She's an elven orphan turned Guildmaster and Talon, who desperately wanted to find family in the Crows! While the other Talons resisted her attempts at every step (some more succesfully than others ksks), that implies 1) her approach towards her own House was probably not dissimilar and 2) it got her the Talon position in her 20s. Ergo, her modus operandi was probably fairly successful.
For all that she threatens to evict anyone who treats her like a landlord (lol), the Diamond is very much a reflection of her as a character. It's all completely in line with both her general characterisation in 8 Little Talons and with the point she reaches at the end of that story when confronting Emil. I don't think it's a coincidence that out of our two POVs in 8LT, she's the one discussing Crow ideology with their would-be-murderer:

and

and

Following this particular set-up, of course orphans like Jacobus are treated kindly; of course fledglings have time to gossip in quiet corners while training; of course she helps the Dellamortes however she can?? She decided these people are family to her, and she wants to do better by them than what she got. This is wildly compelling to me personally, because she's such a delightful mix of idealism and disillusionment, honesty and manipulation, compassion and retribution - and she's so fucking obstinate about it!!!
There's also the little connection with the Crows' beginnings, specifically in Treviso. Iirc, it's mentioned in 8LT that her base is Rialto (she's also got gardens there), so a part of me wonders whether the Diamond was an inherited property from a previous Cantori Talon, or whether she got it up and running between then and the events of the game. I think that between that little tibdbit and with Lucanis being named First Talon at the end of the game, it's pretty obvious that the theme of rebirth is very much the point in the Crows' plotline - a messy, hopeful and spiteful rebirth.
All of this is to say, what we get doesn't at all negate the other aspects we've seen from the Crows in previous games, but rather puts them into perspective. The game just goes on to ask - isn't there another way to do this? what else is there room for us to be? is there any chance we might find some kindness in this world? and one of the ways these answers are explored is through Teia's character (we start this series with Zevran's story within the Antivan Crows - an elven orphan bought from a brothel, who doesn't have the power to change this guild, and end with Lucanis, Viago and Teia, who is, specifically, an elven orphan picked up (?) from the streets, who remains one of the powerhouses of the organisation. I love a bit of narrative symmetry ✨)
And honestly, I find this entire thing delightful - it's cheeky and dramatic and a lot of fun, and it makes sense for these characters, if you only sit with it for a second and give it a bit of thought!
(PS the way she draws Viago into her orbit and the way their partnership works is another rant entirely, and they drive me absolutely insane nghhh)
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#veilguard positive#da#datv#tevinter nights#eight little talons#andarateia cantori#viago de riva#i mean he gets mentioned but this post is about teia#.ioana rambles#i love the crows i love renaissance history in italy and france and i love this silly game#morality is the least interesting aspect of something fictional for me#i want to be entertained AND to have my brain whirring at what's going on#and teia very much does that for me!!!#i love her#also this goes under#otp: gentle pursuits#teia x viago#teiago#yes one of my WIPs is teia growing up with the crows i think about her a normal amount
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Hope isn't ethereal, soft, and gentle. It's not naive or blind and it's not a passive state.
Hope has dirt behind its nails and blood all over its face, as all seems lost - but it's still getting up for another go, if only to protect just one more person.
Hope works its fingers to the bone to make the slightest difference. You may fall for its easygoing masks but it's hilt is heavy and to wield it is one hell of a workout.
Hope exists despite suffering. It knows the oppressive darkness intimately; yet stubborn as a mule, that's where it sees stars shine the brightest.
Hope doesn't wear rose-colored glasses. It can only envision a better tomorrow because it knows exactly how fucked up the today is; without ignoring problems of the present, it simply prefers to look towards the future.
Hope can be afraid but it doesn't cower; facing its fears head-on, it claws its way out of any pit life dug for it.
Hope can be stained, dirtied by the world around it. There can be no glory or recognition found within it - and still it doesn't cease bending over backwards in the name of its ideals.
Hope sees potential where there's good intentions. Whether someone has been a victim or a perpetrator, it wishes to support a path to change and breaking free from past cycles; because the option of growth proves that nothing has to stay horrible.
Above all, hope is a daily choice, made against all odds - to keep living, toiling, trying. It's often mundane, it takes small steps; and yes, it really does take time.
Hope smiles in the face of hardship and sees past the temporary. It's seeks to be constructive rather than destroy; its paths may not be the smoothest but it trusts they lead towards a bright-lit aim.
Hope is complicated. And yet, don't we kind of need it?
#keigo takami#hawks mha#can you tell that i am very normal about the themes of this character#i really didn't expect him to be like this from his first appearances#but i'm positively obsessed now#anyway enjoy my silly character analysis#inspired by: some good posts on hope i've seen on tumblr dot com over the years#my hero academia#bnha#hawks bnha#keigo takami analysis#hawks analysis
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a possible arthur design for this story? i've had some trouble with him. i don't want him to look so different from canon arthur that it's not clear who he is, but i really like the idea of him having a beard. my arthur also has a different body type, he's shorter than merlin but not too short, and he's a lot fatter and hairier (partially because i think that makes him hotter, lol) - i like his design so far and i think it works with the blend of arthuriana and bbc merlin canon that this project is meant to emulate.
my friend suggested arthur with a ring of gold in his eyes to match merlin (and the flag of camelot) and i thought that was very fun! i think it works best for an older arthur once magic has been returned to camelot... here's my rendition of that concept!
any thoughts?
#edit: AH i forgot to add the chest/arm hair#he starts out the story with just a bit of scruff and ends it with a full beard. i think he grew the beard by accident during some sort of#event and he decided to keep it and then he just never changed. his nature means he loves consistency so he never really changes his hair.#he tries it shorter he tries it longer it just doesn't fit him 🤷♂️#the bit about him being hotter is just meant to be a body positive joke in a lighthearted sense i don't just view fat people through that#<- lens i'm normal#my last post works as a reference for very early in the story arthur before he grows a beard#it would be by like. end of season 1.#fun fact: he broke his nose once and it never healed right#once and future; a bbc merlin rewrite#my posts#art posts#merlin#bbc merlin#merlin bbc#adventures of merlin#arthur pendragon#prince arthur#king arthur#arthuriana#arthurian legend#arthurian mythology#arthurian retelling#art#fanart
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Big Huge Irritated Rant About The Latest COTL Update's Story Choices and the Implications
So the lore drop in the new Cult of the Lamb update, Unholy Alliance, pisses me off. The writer's confirmation of what that lore drop means pisses me off more.
Why? Because it's unnecessary recontextualization that was made pretty obviously in favor in one character in particular, and somehow in that process makes that very same character way less interesting. I think it's incredibly detrimental to the story and I will Explain Why in a second.
But before I do, I just want to put this out there: Prior to this update, my opinions on the Bishops and Narinder and that entire plotline were pretty neutral. I'm an NPC enjoyer, I spend my time thinking about that moth with two lines of dialogue. I did not previously have strong opinions on Narinder or Shamura outside of mild dislike for fandom treatment. So I'm not coming from a place of bias here (or at the very least I'm not trying to be). I genuinely, wholeheartedly, 100% believe this writing decision was unnecessary and the Wrong one to make, and I think it severely undercuts the original plotline because this was a retcon and one that sucks pretty bad.
Ok we're on the same page here? Ok awesome. Long rant ahead, and obvs spoilers for the Unholy Alliance update
So first, what the hell am I talking about? What part of the update do I not like? Let's clarify that first.
It's Shamura's dialogue. Like, all of it. For ease of understanding, here is all the dialogue I will be talking about:
"Ah... we gathered here, the four of us, a council of war and I the general. I have not forgot. I did not tell them that chains to bind a God must be forged of Godly matters. What matter of Gods? What matters of Gods? I have not forgot. The betrayal of kin, the breaking of spirits, blood spilled, his and ours. ...the sacrifice of what we had sacrificed so much for... ...shaped into shackles for our own brother. And our wounds always to weep. Such sharp claws..."
--
"He sought to break nature's own laws. Death was his, yet he placed his sacred duty in peril. His experiments... Experiments I encouraged. I am not... blameless. My soul, stained... yet I do not... Ah, The story. Yes the story... He wanted to open the doors between Life and Death, to... to allow their return. Those mere... mortals. Even though he knew their sacrifices, their faith, their fears sustain us. Death must be the end. Otherwise, what use would they have for Gods? They began to flock to him. What he promised, we could not match. He swelled with devotion... while we waned. Would he have let us perish? I could not take... the risk... the hunger... You are lucky there are none left to force such a choice on you. Hail, Lamb. Last God... lonely God... Ah... I feel... unburdened..."
And for fun, before anyone tells me I'm misinterpreting any of this or that it's left up to interpretation or is intentionally vague, Word of God (the writer of CoTL):

And it's this being Word of God that's spurred me into making this post to begin with. Because prior to this, I just seethed about this dialogue's implications in my server and hoped I was wrong. But now it's been confirmed what this means, and I'm . Disgruntled, to say the least!
And since I've started writing this post, there's been another addition made to further clarify parts of this. But I'm going to go over that addition more towards the end, because it also irritates me for separate reasons.
So, let's get this straight.
Prior to this update, the specifics of what happens between Narinder and the Bishops were pretty vague. We were told Narinder was "gluttonous in his ambition," per Shamura's previous dialogue, and that they "introduced him to ideas of change" but "Death cannot flow backward." Heket somewhat elaborates on this by saying he preached "heresy" and "noxious ideals" that would not be tolerated. Heket also notably refers to Narinder as a flat-out "monster." Narinder attacked his siblings and left them each with a big, symbolic wound. Then he was chained by the four of them, with Shamura the one to lead it (in their own words).
There's a lot of talk of betrayal, but before this update, it was unclear if the betrayal was meant to just be Narinder's experimenting with death (which even then was pretty heavily suggested to be resurrections) or the wounds inflicted upon his siblings. There's also a lot of talk of sacrifice, i.e. from Leshy if you kill Heket before him: "After everything we did. After everything we sacrificed. He will not be satiated."
Regardless, the picture this painted was of Narinder being this ambitious, evil, violent God that even his fellow Gods (Kallamar) feared and felt needed controlling. The idea that the wounds could have been in the nail in the coffin to this entire ordeal made sense; as they were obviously planned by Narinder to some extent (otherwise why be so intentional about who got what wound?) and a fair reaction to Being Mutilated would of course be to chain him.
Then of course there's the idea that the wounds were given while he was being chained and in self-defense, which only seems possible if you think Narinder could take on all four of his siblings at once like that and only manage to lose his claws in the ordeal (which was only revealed in this update to be something he's implied to have lost thru the relic). I thought this at first too, but realized it seems pretty impractical for that to have been the case if the wounds were also purposeful in who got what. I mean, sure, they could all be coincidentally symbolically appropriate for each Bishop, but I have doouuubts?
but now we're here, with this update, and all has been revealed.
And what's been revealed exactly?
Narinder's thing he was doing was indeed resurrections (we knew that)
Shamura encouraged him to do it (we also already knew this)
It seems like he did literally nothing else outside of that
His siblings got pissy about this because it made their domains purposeless and got all their followers to flock to him
"Would he let us perish? I could not take the risk" - Implies they literally did not even ask him
Shamura knew that in order to forge chains that could keep Narinder down, it would require a sacrifice of their bonds AND their flesh
They DID NOT tell the other Bishops this
Their wounds were requirements to chain him. They had to get the wounds they bear now in order to chain him. ONLY Shamura knew this. That means they allowed their siblings (and themself) to get attacked knowing full well what would happen. They may have even encouraged it, perhaps provoked Narinder into it, seeing as they knew the wounds were necessary to have him chained. (Or they just knew he would retaliate. Which, like. Yeah. They're condemning him after he went down a path they encouraged and, as far as we can tell, nothing else.)
And for... what?
In this version of the story, Narinder was experimenting with resurrections, and Shamura told him to keep doing that. Then he was successful, mortals turned to him, and his siblings (including Shamura, the one who told him to do it) got mad. That's it. That's their reasoning for chaining him. There's nothing else given. "Would they perish?" We have no idea. Is that how it works? Seems like Shamura doesn't know either. Or at the very least doesn't know if Narinder intended for that at all. Gives the vibe that literally no effort was made to talk to him and figure this out. They don't even really go down the "it puts nature out of balance!" path, which would at least have some merit, maybe. It's literally just "we are no longer sustained. What's the point of Gods in this world?" <- idk babe you had all the other ones slaughtered. So you tell me
And then Shamura just took it into their own hands, leading their siblings to their shared wounds (WITHOUT consulting them) and their inevitable destruction because of........... reasons, I guess. (I mean, if you think about it really hard, they probably also already knew what would happen following all this. With the lamb genocide and Narinder's resurfacing and etc. And they had their siblings wounded anyway. For no god damn reason)
And now why does this make me mad?
Because, honestly, in and of itself, there's not anything necessarily wrong with this added context. It's not contradicting anything in the main game. Shamura knowing what was needed makes sense, after all.
But it's... unnecessary. It screws up the motives and makes them more shallow, less nuanced, more... petty. Making gods petty is cool and all, I love doing that honestly, but in this case it just feels like a waste of potential.
But beyond all that. But most importantly.
This entire recontextualization of events REEKS of being made specifically to absolve Narinder.
I mean, come on. He's made out to be the victim, here. Shamura knew what he would do, knew what he would become, and knew exactly what would happen to their siblings if they sought to chain him (without doing so much as talking to him beforehand), and yet they encouraged it.
All blame is being shifted on Shamura. All Narinder did specifically against his siblings was inflict the wounds, which at this point seems to be hinted as self defense or a retaliation against threat or insult (assuming he was provoked into attacking, somehow). Because the wounds were part of the process.
And almost equally irritating, this seeks to arbitrarily absolve Leshy, Kallamar, and Heket as well, as they had no idea what the plan was and were just strung along. Which is just kinda worse, right? As far as they are aware, Narinder did just randomly attack them for no reason, and this wasn't foreseen, and surely couldn't have been stopped. All because Shamura didn't tell them any of it.
Shamura is being made into the big bad. Shamura is at fault for everything, for all of it. Narinder is a victim of Shamura encouraging him down a path they later condemn him for, their siblings are victims of Shamura and Narinder both (the latter of which could have been resolved at any point prior), and now any possible intrigue about Narinder being this big bad guy who tore apart his siblings due to his own ambition getting the best of him is ERASED.
It's GONE. All in favor of making him more sympathetic.
And sure, about a million different excuses could be made for Shamura, or could be used to headcanon whatever you want about exactly what happened. But with what we're given right now, just from the source, no attempt as made to stop Narinder before it got to this point. It is literally suggested they didn't even talk to him.
"Maybe they were too scared" - For the other three, maybe. Shamura is the eldest and clearly the most respected one, by Narinder as well (he holds some amount of respect for them even STILL. After EVERYTHING). They at any point could have stopped this.
"Narinder could still have been a bad guy outside of the attacks" - Sure, but we're given little to nothing on that front. In the old dialogue, literally all that's mentioned is the resurrection stuff and the wounds. Shamura is the one who said his ambition made a glutton of him, by the way. And hell, this isn't even touching the very real possibility that all of the Bishops (Narinder included!) are unreliable as hell.
"But Kallamar feared him even before his chaining, that suggests he was still a bad guy beforehand" - Sure, it could! But that's about all we get! And hell, in this new update, Kallamar's fears are fucked with, too. He states:
"Once, long ago, Followers would worship at my altar just to glimpse the beauty of my temple… of course, it could not last forever. Perhaps my siblings did not understand this, but I have always known. It did not make me less afraid. Cowardly Kallamar, ha…"
Here, it seems Kallamar's fears have been changed to be more about the decline of his temple and the loss of his followers, which was happening because of Narinder. He refers to Narinder's plans as "foolish" as opposed to... idk, horrifying, or threatening, or whatever. He also fully takes on the 'cowardly' title, giving the impression that his fears were somehow unfounded, which wouldn't make a lick of sense if Narinder indeed sucked ass outside of the wounds.
Not to mention he "didn't want to hear it" when Shamura "revealed the plan," but we know because of Shamura that they didn't mention anything about the wounds, so Kallamar didn't want to hear that they... had to chain Narinder? That's literally all he could've been told about the plan. Why wouldn't he want to chain Narinder if he was scared of him up until that point?? Doesn't make any sense!!! EDIT AFTER I POSTED: On reconsideration this might just be referring the lamb genocide plan, but that's hardly better, because now this update absolves Narinder, Leshy, AND Kallamar by making them blameless in everything (both Leshy and Kallamar expressed not fully understanding the plan for the slaughter or, in this case, not wanting part in it). What's up with THAT. Why is Shamura getting the blame for LITERALLY EVERYTHING.
Anyway, my point is
This was a story decision made to make Narinder sympathetic. It's so blatant. And it's so, so irritating. It gets rid of so many potential cool flaws of Narinder and replaces it with "Actually, Shamura was the bad guy the whole time! Huzzah!"
And honestly, had the entire game come out like this to begin with, released at the start how it is right now, I don't think I'd care this much. But being added now, as an afterthought, after the fandom and devs alike have grown to favor Narinder above all others, it just...
It reeks of favoritism. It smells of revising the story to make Narinder more likeable. It's just erasure.
And for what. Like, I don't want to be That Guy, but I cannot help but notice that one of two nonbinary characters (outside of the Lamb/Goat themselves) is being this heavily demonized in favor of absolving a Man of his crimes. What's, uh. What's up with that.
Oh, and that addition by the writer I mentioned was made while I was writing this.
This was made after Jojo was questioned whether this was a retcon as to who caused the wounds, as this whole thing could also certainly be read as Shamura being the one to directly wound their siblings (which I didn't think was the case, but still).
"I don't know if they thought it would be so severe" - How do I put this in a nice way. This feels like a weaseling out answer. This feels like giving Shamura an out only after being questioned on this writing choice. How could they possibly not know how severe it would be. This spider is Knowledge. This spider has Foresight of some kind. And how do you not know what they thought. You are the Writer. If you want to clarify something like this you gotta say it with your full chest.
Not to mention a good portion of the fandom probably won't even see these tweets, so this context is all missing from the story presented in the game. This is Tacked On Context on top of already Tacked On Context. It's unnecessary retconning all the way down.
Anyway. I realize the fandom at large will not care about this, because (and I mean this in the nicest way I can manage) the Narinder favoritism in this fandom is already impenetrable, but for me personally? This retconning that was so clearly done out of that favoritism?
It ruined Narinder's character for me. More than the fandom possibly could have. I mean, if it's fanon, it can be ignored. But this was canonized. Because Narinder is the dev team's favorite guy.
And I can't stand it.
#VERY long ramble#<- i mean it. this post is chunky.#I have a lot of thoughts. And they are not positive. MM dev team when i get you.#Narinder enjoyers beware. I do not like your man and it's because of this update.#If anything I said in the post is unclear please feel free to ask and I will elaborate where I can! I tried to make my thoughts#as clear as possible. but i am also a fulltime college student with a keyboard that is currently retaliating against me.#My brain is a little scattered atm lmao. but if I hold onto this post much longer I might just anxiety myself out of posting it.#because nobody else seems to be having these same critiques. Save for my tiny little discord server where we are all very loud haters.#If you don't agree with me that's awesome 👍 please be normal about it tho if you are arguing i'm begging.#if this post gets any amount of traction I'm going to be wary about having my inbox open hkjsdhg#ok now the scary part.#cult of the lamb#cotl unholy alliance#cotl spoilers#unholy alliance spoilers#<- i don'tknow if that still needs tagging but jic. also I'm wary of tagging characters on here. so for now i won't.#cotl#ok that's it for now. Runs away. Fast
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school is back in session. free time is 100% gone. 😀
#i knew this would happen but it’s still sad to experience#i quite literally have no time because of studying/homework/reading/lectures#and I’m also working my normal job#and when i DO have time i’m so fucking exhausted that all i want to do is be Not Sober and rot on my comfort youtuber’s channel#i don��t even want to watch shows in my free time because that brings about too much emotional stimulation that i’m too tired to experience#that doesn’t even make sense but it’s true#i also recently just experienced something rattling that i can’t really talk about bc it’ll give away too much personal info lmao#but it was Not Fun#but it was also eye-opening in a good way? but nothing about it was good#i wish i could make private posts for my very close mutuals who i could trust to tell#i kinda want to get it off my chest and i’ve told a few of my irl friends but like… this shit is still haunting me#had a nightmare about it last night. kicking and sweating and full-on panic kind of nightmare#luckily my alarm woke me from it. unluckily i then had to get up and go to work#anyway. i really wanted time to write this weekend but there’s just so much shit i have to do#i have an interview for a research position and four (YES FOUR) group projects i need to start this weekend#god help me#this is my own fault for pursuing a STEM career#but yknow… women in STEM 🥳✨🫶🏼🤩#fay talks
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I'm so heavily anti-advertising that all pitches sound goofy silly to me/I can never take them seriously, so I have no idea how I'll manage to to advertise my game even if I do finally finish it soon-ish lol...
#Especially how so much modern media advertising is like... getting people excited about random tropes and stuff like#''Do you love enemies to lovers? Do you love sad stories that make you do a heckin CRY? Do you love big stupid dumbo muffin cake#sinnamon roll babies who are too good for this world? Have you ever wanted to read a blah blach blah" whatever stuff and it's like#... i cannot type that... I couldnt do it.. I couldn't even think of how to do it ghbjhbjh#I am such a literal person... Like I love when an advertisement is just like 'This product works well. Look at it. Buy it if you want. Ok'#You know what makes me want to read a book or watch a show or play a game? Reading a detailed plot synopsis or the full wiki page#for it and then deciding 'yeah I wouldnt mind sitting through seeing the events I just read about happen in more detail' lol#OR aesthetics. since I do often watch things JUST for the set/costume design. Sometimes I will watch stuff literally#just because I saw a picture of a costume in it that looked really cool and I want to sketch costume looks whilst watching#But aside from appearance like... little bullet point break downs of things that are in a story just ... do not do anything to me at all.#And i just hate 'selling' things to begin with. I don't want to have to convince people to like something.. they should just... like it...#LOL.. like.. just be born liking it. just like it automatically please. Dont make me beg to you like a weird little freak. So many commerci#als seem weirdly desperate and manipulative. Like those Truck/Car commercials that will have like a freaking dog crying and#a war vet in a wheelchair with the american flag in the background and a family hugging around a christmas tree or some shint and its#just like oh my GODDD... shut UPP.. you could literally not be MORE blantant about just trying to prey on peoples emotions to build#some sort of fabricated positive association with your product/brand.. begone.. Or brands having their own twitters where they post#~~relatable content~~ as a means of shallow audience endearment GGGRR..... ANYWAY.. hhrgh...................#Maybe that's something I can ask playtesters I guess like.. I feel like I don't know my own audience very well because I am not#much of a media person?? ironically.. Like I do enjoy MAKING media. But I've never been in a fandom. I've never read fanfiction. I've never#spent much time in those spaces. I've just never really had the inclination and don't personally derive much joy out of stuff like that#(since I'm already so focused on my OWN world and projects its like.. hard for me to even find the time and mental energy to expend on#others). Even when I finish a movie or game and really like it.. I just kind of like...move on? and don't really dwell on it much? At most#I will get into the worldbuilding of a piece of media and read the wiki for a while or watch Lore info or critical analysis videos. But I#never really care for or attach to the characters or the plot itself very much. So I feel like.. the way my brain works. I'm just not as#good at approaching things from that angle? Kind of like how if you're a lifelong vegetarian whos never eaten meat - you might#struggle to write an ad for fancy brand of steaks bc you'd be like... idk what meat eaters are even looking for? whats the selling point??#Which I'm not saying that I wouldn't play my own game. i AM definitely the audience for it. But it's more like.. I would play it for my own#very niche specific reasons that I think are different from what MOST people might want to play it for. So I need to somehow#tap into the minds of the Majority who play things for Normal Reasons than pure lore collection or whatever lol.
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casey's narrativisation of the vale/casey rivalry low key considerably and unambiguously more unreliable than valentino's is, but society isn't ready for THAT particular conversation yet
#mainly that's because casey talks about it way more#like you can't be an unreliable narrator if you're not doing a lot of narrativisation#and valentino mostly just sticks to the bread and butter stuff. so obviously when he's talking about eg laguna... yeah it happened#whereas with casey sometimes i resurface from going through the archives to read something he's said post retirement and go ....?#casey tells a pretty coherent interesting story of a rivalry. it is also a rivalry that didn't actually happen. a theoretical rivalry#at times it is a version of the rivalry i would have preferred to see play out!! like i LOVE his laguna revenge fantasies i'm very pro#valentino straightforwardly saying rivals hating each other is normal while casey does his i was but a young boy looking for love routine#//#brr brr#//ht#what nobody gets about this rivalry is that part of what makes it funny is that valentino kinda gets to experience being valentino'd#overly sensitive to perceived offences? check. delayed revenge after superficially it looked like bridges had been repaired? check#a rival biding their time until they dig in from a position of strength? check. some pretty confusing emotional whiplash? check#post hoc continuous liberal narrativisation that presents a dubiously sourced narrative of events? check#jerez is casey weaponising valentino's beloved cameras against him to air an insult he'd been sitting on for almost three years. come on
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hi hi hi :3c i'm aaaaaaalmost caught up on my dash after a couple of weeks of spotty appearances and a couple of weeks of being Straight Up Offline, and then i'll catch up on peoples' art and fics!! i miss being on here!! hi hi hi hi hi!!!!! 👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻
(also i have been Pondering over a ren sentient a.i desktop buddy AU while i've been gone bc. i'm a sucker for that shit. dunno if it'll go anywhere but for now i'm playing touys and it's fun hehehe if you see a new tag at some point then that means i'm keeping him sjndfkn)
#tldr things are happening irl that are Theoretically Positive but carry a decade of baggage + are very stressful bc i'm being rushed#and health insurance bullshit has been stressing me out further. so any free time not related to the stuff above#has gone into like. crocheting a blanket. logging off. spending time off of social media. yeah!!!#i'm gonna be so so happy for everything to be done so i can sit down and Draw Things again!!! aaaaaaa!!!#need to finish my new ren ref sheet! need to draw smth for oushirou's upcoming bday!!#i missed r!ren's anniversary so i want to maybe doodle a little something for him!!!#and i want to draw little like. shimeji / ukagaka ren. is he malware gone rogue? did he just spontaneously gain sentience?? man idk lol#but in... middle school i think? i saw miyavi's 'girls be ambitious' MV and made a sentient a.i. oc based on his chara in that video#and ever since then. every time i selfship w someone. At Some Point i think about a desktop buddy au. :') it altered my brain sjkdn#ogey! i'm gonna try to finish catching up now!! i might not have the energy to say as much as i normally do on ppls art and fics#esp because there's SO much of it in my drafts ;;;;;;;;; but!!! i want to share everything i can!!! bc what i've seen is Sick As Hell!!!!#but yeah i'm hopefully gonna finish the last remaining Big Things next week 🙏🏻🙏🏻 and will maybe be on here more. (pls pls pls)#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]
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that edit is doing better than i expected :) yippee
#rant b4 u expand tags warning! abt qts perception#when i was getting into the yard qt hating was a lotttt more open and often#and nobody ever had a normal reason. it was like she's the literal devil she's an evil person she's gonna kill ludwig jrma save him#like cmon just call her annoying and move on 🙄 yall get way too serious with it#and when you searched her tag it was ALL drama nothing about her#and when you searched her on yt it was just qtc crying qtc atrioc qtc swatted qtc deepfake#FOR SO LONG#but lately...#with faze coming around she is unironically getting framed in an overwhelmingly more positive light than she has in years#when you search her on yt its things that she's done no more crying#and we're slowlyyyy chipping away at her tag here#all of this is to say that idc if you like qt#you can think shes bad vibes wtv#she is most certainly flawed#but she deserves the chance to be treated like a normal person before you decide you dont like her#her everyday content should be on the front pages of her search results#not her trauma#and im gonna keep normal qt posting bc i like her#and i wanna chip away at her tag#but im very glad to see that in the past year it seems like we've gotten a little better at NOT vitriolic qt hating#especially bc ppl are being normal abt a ludqt edit!! WAHOO!#anyway. love and light <3 i just want ppl to be normal abt that bitch. tooodlesss
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i think we as a tumblr society have progressed past the need. blows you guys kisses
#i have simply had enough after last night#some of you have gotten excessively parasocial not just towards me but towards other blogs you come to talk shit about#as if i am not friends or at the very least acquaintances with them#and it's obvious you're from twitter because then i see the same phrasing on a vague tweet#i try to be positive or at the very least constructive about the issues you guys bring to me#but there's a bit too much venting a bit too much infighting i just won't waste my time on#i really wanted to have a normal conversation about how me and that one anon felt about content#and some of you got SO weird SO quickly i was put off. especially waking up this morning to the disaster that was my inbox#it is on me for having encouraged that type of behaviour at some level#so i'm pulling the plug now. go back to twitter and keep vague posting there
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Thinking about Bernard telling Fran that the dress she was wearing for her date was nice in S1E3
#yapping#text post#black books#bernard black#fran katzenjammer#�� again#also that scene in S3E6 where he drapes his coat over her after she passes out on his couch#guys what if I was so normal about them I ate glass#they make me so#AUGHHHHHH#they’re the best man/woman platonic relationship I’ve ever seen#imo ☝️#I know that some people ship them but I honestly view them more as a sister/brother dynamic#like the way Fran’s the only person who Bernard listens to#(mostly by beating the shit out of him lmao)#(which is very sibling-coded if you ask me)#I saw someone say once that Manny may be temporary in their lives#but they’ll always have each other#that literally haunts me (positive)#like I’m going to lose my shit help#anyway#I’m done writing a fucking essay in my tags now#my fault gang
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it’s very funny how this fandom suddenly cares so much about sensitivity, meanwhile no one was up in arms about folks calling valeria shit like “cartel mommy” and simping for her. and, if you point this out, you get told that it’s “less important” or incomparable. way to tell victims of cartel violence that they don’t matter. y’all can’t preach about sensitivity and mindfulness while doing the exact opposite of that.
sensitivity is something that needed to be brought up a long time ago. people need to be mindful about the content they’re engaging with and producing. COD and its characters are based on very real issues and very real situations, mindfulness is needed for every single character.
seeing this only be brought up in the context of makarov and graves is honestly so, so frustrating. they’re not the only problematic characters that you need to consider when making content. western militaries like the US and UK are incredibly controversial and have devastated vulnerable people and their countries. price, ghost, soap, gaz— any member of the military, especially the special forces, is problematic. they’re not good people and should not be treated like saints, nor should they be idolized for what they do.
that all being said, the concepts of “be mindful and sensitive when making content” and “let people enjoy problematic media” can absolutely, 100%, co-exist. art is not meant to be a paradigm of moral goodness, it has always been a medium for people to explore things that are considered "taboo" in a safe space. there's a reason why "dead dove: do not eat" exists as a genre – with proper warning and precautions put in place, people can explore darker topics. for some, it's morbid interest. for others, it's a way of coping with trauma and experiences they've had in real life.
i want to repeat this just to make it very clear: be mindful and sensitive with the content you're producing. do not romanticize topics that should not be painted in a good light. don't minimize the impact of characters' actions or act like people are in the wrong for being uncomfortable with them. in this fandom especially, people treat atrocities like jokes because we're becoming desensitized to them. it's up to every individual to ensure that they don't forget how impactful a lot of this stuff is in real life. war is not a joke. terrorism is not a joke. people dying is not a joke. do not romanticize any of these things in your content, even if you're exploring the different sides of the people behind these things.
humanize the characters all you want. horrible people are still people, after all. humans are not one-dimensional beings. humanize them, but do not romanticize them.
be kind to victims, be sensitive, and be mindful about what you engage with. no one is perfect, no thing is perfect, but we can always do better. we need to approach every topic through this lens instead of picking and choosing who to support. everyone is deserving of it, everyone is entitled to basic respect. we don't need to compete and argue over who has it worse, we just need to be better across the board. support real victims. don't let media warp your perceptions of reality. be conscious of the content you make and consume.
#call of duty#cod#cod mw2#mw2#modern warfare#putting it in very clear words because i'm scared people may misinterpret what i'm saying:#for the love of god— LISTEN when people tell you that you're doing something wrong.#especially if these are victims or people knowledgeable of the topics you're portraying.#do your research. learn about the things you're writing or reading about.#do not portray bad people or harmful things in a positive light.#it's completely possible to “simp” for villains without disregarding or defending their actions. these characters are fictional.#it's better to get your rocks off to a set of pixels modeled after a normal person than a REAL person that does harm.#but be cognizant of what you're looking at when you do.#if you can support real victims— please do.#donate to ukraine. educate yourself on the war. learn about the harsh reality of cartels. study the impact of colonization and racism.#not only is it good to be informed of things in the real world— but it allows you to better understand these topics in the media.#i'm FAR from perfect. i'm not immune to doing wrong. i'm no exception to this criticism.#also wanted to throw this into the post but i may make another to address this specifically:#it is VERY telling that this fandom only started talking about sensitivity once (predominantly) white folks started being impacted by it.#no one cared about valeria being called “cartel mommy” or the cartel being romanticized.#graves gets criticized for being racist. but even he's often given a “pass” by the fandom.
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neopets don't guilt me im dying here 😭🤧😓
#im not very good at virtual pet games thats all lol#they used to give me big big anxiety when i was a preteen-teenager i was like noooo ill worry abt them 24/7#i still kinda do but im normaler about it now bc i know it gives me anxiety#i used to have a flight rising too and i feel bads i left them u.u#o well theyre pixels ! <- trying not to feel too bad /lh#my post!#neopets#agere blog#sex positive#sexpos agere
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wish me luck, I'm going to a wedding today and my brain decided to go into WATCH OUT! mode
#ooc#I'm glad to be able to support the bride! But there will be :) many ppl of course#and despite being a people myself I do not do a very good job of it#but regardless I'm sure it'll be a wonderful beautiful wedding and I will get cake so surely I can be brave about it#Wearing a dress just mean I have more ability to run. This is a plus. I am taking all the positives I can get here.#this is as close to a vent post as I ever get btw#Sometimes ya'll just have to deal with me very softly going “oh shit” at a very normal and basic human interaction
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this is painful. ruyi is eviscerating this man.
#star stumbles#a journey to love#cdrama#ladies and gentlemen this is a murder in process#ep 20#ruyi is destroying this man's psyche really thinking it will fix the issue....no it's going to create a bigger one#look at him. you took a 'normal' disciple and gave him more issues#it's like yes. this would hit IF he knew you were actually his master/it was said by a master to a student#but a princess of wu? has no authority to say that to him#which is one something i forgot to mention in my previous post#in that ltg literally. does not gaf about anyone with a position of authority#like he might listen to them on the surface but inside? you know he doesn't respect them#he doesn't respect anyone or consider anyone his equal. he's very much a lone wolf anarchist in a way#ruyi was probably the only one who held true authority over him that he would listen to and respect with his whole heart#i'm clerk du right now. in shock.
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