#not my pic bc I couldn’t get a good one through the glass I found this on google lol

[melrosing]

btw went to see the John Singer Sargent exhibition at the Tate today and his Lady Macbeth portrait has always reminded me of Cers but they had the dress and cape the model wore at the exhibit and the cape has golden lions embroidered all over and yeah it’s the most Cers ever

[dreamersparacosm]

HII! austin tat is dry and looks so good bff. lmk if u wanna see a pic! i was hoping to get a blurb based of this prompt- ❛ wow i really can’t speak, huh? must be because of how pretty you look. ❜ from fluff for austin!

speechless - austin butler

note ; bestie i think i speak for all the fans we NEED to see the tat expeditiously. this is a saga i must follow up on. pls update us with a picture <3 also love this prompt bc we love fluffy austin (my cuppycake gumdrop sweetie pie) also i apologize this got so long i fell into a literal black hole while writing it

warnings ; none except for like suggestive language at the end

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

austin didn’t normally lose his train of thought. he didn’t usually find himself out of words to say, despite the shy traits of him that he acquired from his mother. he had always found things to say, even if they were conventionally wrong.

that all changed when he saw you in that red dress.

the wind had been knocked out of him, his stomach doing backflips as his grip on his champagne flute loosened enough for it to almost slip through his fingertips. his heart could be heard in his ears, blood rushing through his body at an increased speed. am i having a heart attack, he thought to himself idiotically. no, he was not, but his body and brain had convinced him otherwise.

your legs teased the outside world through the slit in your dress, your skin radiantly glowing as you spoke politely to the other guests. your lips, plump and pink, parted ever so slightly to speak. he was mesmerized, utterly speechless. if he was any ounce of a man, he would’ve waltzed right up to you and asked for your name. but, it was as if his mother had embodied him, his words no good anymore.

to think, he didn’t even want to be at the event. he had told his publicist earlier he would only stay for thirty minutes, to do his part. now, he couldn’t imagine leaving. he watched you from afar as you seemed to float above the crowd, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would look in his direction.

but, you proceeded to speak to guest after guest, shaking hands with men that looked at you as if you were a delectable meal for the night. he turned around, looking for someone he could speak to so he wouldn’t appear to be a stalker. i am austin butler, he said to himself, i am successful.

no one in his line of sight seemed as interesting as you.

you had migrated to a different group, throwing your head back in laughter as you went along with the crowd’s jokes. he was trying to hide his interest, watching over the rim of his flute as he took another sip. and, just when he had thought all hope was lost, and that you would fade into another man’s arm tonight, you looked at him. it was one second, just enough for him to inhale the sharpest breath.

then, you did the unthinkable. you looked back at him.

fuck, fuck, fuck. what do i do? he tortured himself. somehow, everything escaped him. he settled for a feeble smile, and to his excitement, you returned it, raising your glass to him. he raised his as well, hoping that would be enough to beckon you over. he watched, heart thumping out of his chest, as you excused yourself from your conversation and began to make your way… towards him. he couldn’t even find enough air in the universe to breathe.

you weaved through the crowd, cheeks burning as you strolled up to him, as if you had been doing it your whole life. he thought he might pass away right there, and someone would have to scrape his body off the floor. he chugged the rest of his champagne, knowing he would probably need five more of those to make it through a conversation with you.

“hi,” you grinned at him, meeting his gentle eyes. “i’m [y/n]. i’m sorry, i don’t normally do this, but i saw you in that elvis movie and, honestly, i won’t lie, i’m a little starstruck right now.”

he was going to kiss baz luhrmann on the lips for casting him in that godforsaken film.

“u-uh, yeah, that’s me,” he smiled back at you, biting his lip as he normally did when he got anxious. “i’m austin. austin butler.”

you giggled, a harmony that made him almost melt to his knees. “right, yeah, i knew that. ‘cause, ya know, elvis and everything.”

“oh, yeah, of course,” he hoped he sounded nonchalant. “i’m sorry, i’m just really dumb.”

you laughed again, a real one, at that. he wondered why he even said that, but he just kept going, words falling from his lips. “this champagne sucks, doesn’t it?”

“worst i’ve ever tasted,” you agreed, eyes sparkling.

“won’t lie, though, i might need to get more to talk to you,” he finally found some kind of liquid courage, stuffed in between his dwindling dignity and his crippling anxiety.

you giggled, “that can’t be true. i’m sure you have girls come up to you all the time.”

“oh, god no,” he replied, and you laughed again as he realized he was basically admitting to you he hadn’t gotten laid in two years. “fuck, now i’m embarrassed.”

“no, no, don’t be,” you reassured. “i like the way you speak to me. finally, someone who isn’t staring at my boobs.”

“right,” he made a mental note to never, ever look at your plump, full breasts. a comfortable silence fell over you two, and it seemed as if you were hanging onto his next word. for some reason, he couldn’t spit out anything. he was too busy thinking of what color house you two would be living in one day.

“i —“

“i —“

“no, you first.”

“no, no, you first. i insist,” you continued to smile at him, pearly whites and all.

“right,” he scratched the nape of his neck, “honestly, i don’t think i was even going to say anything after that.”

you bit your lip, trying to contain the laughter. “oh, really?”

“really can’t speak today, huh?” he shook his head in disbelief, “must be how pretty you look.”

smooth, austin, smooth, he praised himself. and you chuckled once more, feeling a little bit like a schoolgirl with a crush. “stop, i don’t think so! you’re doing great,” you bashfully looked down at your feet, “and you look good too.”

“hey, this might be crazy, but would you wanna, like, get out of here and find some mcdonald’s?” he motioned towards the door, trying to read your face for any sort of inkling of what your answer would be. you wouldn’t have said no, but it was a possibility.

later, when all was said and done — he had already taken you to mcdonald’s and to your hotel, laying you down and lifting up your dress to nuzzle his face in between your thighs — he would remind himself to thank his publicist for making him go to the event.

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

join the celebration here!

[yntcdtyler]

so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧

i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.

so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.

we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.

so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x

okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.

so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.

AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.

i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.

[colesterstrudel]

So here are my endless thoughts on SVU & OC, all under the cut bc I get rambly and incoherent lmaooooo so here goes the format is shit bc I’m on mobile but are we surprised lmao

SVU

It is a crime that we never got to see the dress Liv was wearing to her ceremony A CRIME I know it was a lewk I KNOW IT WAS

The Liv/Elliot stare down dkdkdkkdkddk pls they’re just looking at each other like they’re trying to make sure they’re both really there

The flashback to the episode where pregnant Kathy is in a car accident with Liv was a crime against me, specifically, bc how dare you make me deal with those emotions while Liv is also dealing with them with that 100 yard stare WHY

Fin’s “you’re gonna have to ask him” to Liv in the hospital 🤝 his “you’ll have to ask her that” to Elliot in the bar or whatever

The whispered convo in the corner of Liv’s office hello intimacy lmao personal space whomst Liv and Elliot don’t know her and they never have AND THEN when Elliot says “let’s work it” like they’re still partners, LIKE THEY’RE PARTNERS FOR LIFE, IF YOU WILL

Liv spent so much of their partnership pushing him to be with his family and she STILL has to do it even ten years later after he’s broken her heart she loves him so much she loves his kids she wants nothing but the best for him so she keeps pushing him to go back to his family, to visit Kathy in the hospital, but noooooooooooo hardheaded Elliot Stabler just can’t do it

“I give you my word I’ll behave” so u just gon lie like that to her FACE when you haven’t seen her IN TEN YEARS DKSKDKSKSKSKSK LYING IS GONNA BE ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS YOU DO and also when he started rolling up his sleeves??? BRAIN ROT IMMEDIATELY BRAIN EMPTY

LIV HOLDING ELLIOT BACK, HIM ALL IN HER PERSONAL SPACE, THE RAISED VOICE FOLLOWED BY THE WHISPER, THE LINGERING EYE CONTACT DKDKDKDKDKDK IF Y’ALL DON’T FUCKIN SMOOCH IN THIS BITCH

Actually okay the whole interrogation room scene bc seeing them in interrogation with each other is painful enough, but the looks Liv keeps giving him while he’s talking to the suspect dkdkkddkdkdk the last time she was in an interrogation room when she could still feel Elliot’s presence around her was when she was crying after he put in his papers YES I AM CRYING THANK U and then the suspect says “why aren’t you in the hospital with your wife” and it’s practically the same thing Liv told him but he can hear that kind of stuff from her and be okay but when anyone else is questioning his loyalty to his family it sets him off (not that she was questioning his loyalty but you get what I’m saying) and UGH the way Liv keeps an eye on him as he moves around the room to make sure he doesn’t fuckin lose it

She bumped into him on the roof ON PURPOSE she didn’t have to be that close to him there’s plenty of room on the roof for the two of them but it’s like she’s questioning if he’s really there and then you have to wonder how many conversations has she had with him mentally or in her dreams that she has to fuckin shoulder check him on the roof to ensure he’s really there, that she’s really talking to HIM

Elliot’s Catholic guilt rearing its ugly head as he caresses the head of his dying wife while he has so much he wants and needs to say to Liv.......am I overthinking this I thinketh not

KATHY NOT BELIEVING ELLIOT TELLING HER HE HASN’T SPOKEN TO LIV IN TEN YEARS AND LIV HAVING TO CONFIRM THAT IT’S TRUE I’M DKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKDKS LIV WAS THE GLUE HOLDING THAT GODDAMN FAMILY TOGETHER AND SHE COULDN’T EVEN RECEIVE THE LOVE SHE SO DESPERATELY WANTED???? NEEDED??????? FROM ELLIOT BC OF IT I’M DJDJDJSSKSKSKSK

Liv watching Elliot kiss Kathy’s forehead through the glass door of that hospital room, like she’s been forced to look in on that marriage from the outside for YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The symbolism!!!!!!!!!!!

The waiting room hospital scene yes this will be burned into my brain forever thank u. Neither of them can sit still when they’re around each other now it’s like it’s too much all at once especially Liv she keeps moving and fidgeting and when they ARE still they’re so CLOSE to each other like they can’t bear for there to be any distance, not anymore, not now

They tell each other they love each other without saying the words and it kills me every single time I can’t live like this I wish they were better at talking about their feelings

ANOTHER WHISPERED/BREATHY “ELLIOT” with that side eye YES LIV LET HIM KNOW HE FUCKED UP dkskdkdkdkdk and then she told him she LOVED HIM “you were the single most important person in my life and you just.....disappeared” god this really tears my heart out every time I think about it bc the look in her eyes just 😭😭😭

“I was afraid if I heard your voice I wouldn’t have been able to leave” GOD DID Y’ALL KNOW IT ONLY TAKES THREE WORDS EACH TO SAY I LOVE YOU DID YOU KNOW THAT DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD CONSERVE OXYGEN AND SAY ONLY THREE WORDS OBVIOUSLY NOT

Liv having to stand up for Elliot once again and defend him to people who don’t see him the way she does, the way he deserves to be seen, she’s had to do it for years when they were partners and now she’s doing it again when he’s only been back like a day and a half

I’ve already talked about the bar scene with Elliot and Fin a bajillion times but!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s just such a good fuckin scene and the emotions and the mannerisms from Elliot are just *chef’s kiss* that man loves Liv so much and he’s so upset he’s missed so much of Liv’s life ugh just thinking about his “who’s the guy?” and how he must be thinking back to “you’re the longest relationship I’ve ever had with a man” and how that may still be true but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t moved on and found someone else to take his place in her heart, in her life, to give her the child she always wanted WHEW

LIV DKDKDKDKDK “Phoebe just said I love you and you couldn’t say it back?” MA’AM YOU CAN’T EVEN TELL THE MAN YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE HIM PLS STOP JUDGING FIN DKDKDKDKDDKDK

Liv calling Elliot “Stabler” why does that shit hurt my heart so bad dkdkdkdkdkdks CALL HIM EL AGAIN PLS

Amanda likening her relationship with Liv to Liv’s relationship with Kathy? No ma’am. No. Somebody get the spray bottle tell her to shut the fuck up

Elliot called Liv before he called any of his kids about Kathy HE CALLED HER FIRST no I’m fine this is fine that’s just something you’d do like if you loved someone or something lmao def nothing suspicious here

I will never stop talking about that hug okay bc Elliot IS SOBBING and he nuzzles into Liv’s shoulder and she wants to keep her walls up and remain distant but her eyes close and she settles into it too god it’s such a GOOD hug you can FEEL the emotions

“I didn’t get to say goodbye” hello parallels between Elliot and his wife and Liv, the love of his life again this is fine I’m fine

Liv putting his family first and offering to call his kids for him fkdkdkdkdkks god will she ever put herself first with ANYONE or will she always put herself on the back burner can we PLEASE GET LIV SOME LASTING HAPPINESS IN THIS BITCH

Even tho Elliot said he didn’t need her to call his kids it absolutely looks like she DID get his kids and take them to him in the chapel like that’s how it comes across and idk if they did that on purpose or what but that’s what it looks like idk man it just really kills me bc she just keeps putting his family first and keep them together SHE IS THE GLUEEEEEEEEEE IN THAT FAMILY

“I can be objective” not with Elliot miss ma’am and you know that like it’s cute that you think that but 👀👀👀 we all know JUST LIKE WE ALL KNOW that technically you’re off the case but you won’t be off the case you’ll keep looking into things when you can bc that’s your partner, your Elliot, and you can’t not keep looking into it

OC

When Elliot goes downstairs at the courthouse and he starts speaking Italian to those dudes he arrested or whatever and then he starts threatening them and he does the throat slash motion as he gets taken away dkskskskskks BRAIN WORMS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is that so HOT!!!!!!! @ myself get it together

I’ve already talked about the snow scene in the park but I am not done I will never be done bc the tension!!!!!!!!!!!! Liv won’t hold eye contact for too long and neither will he and I am DYING the small talk is so awkward and then he says “you woulda loved it” about his place in Rome meaning he was THINKING ABOUT HER WHILE HE WAS AWAY

“Elliot, I can’t” OH MY GOD DKDKDKDK and the way she looks at the letter in his hands dkdkdksksks awh hell

Liv was wearing gloves and Elliot was bare handed as they walked around the city in SVU, when she was showing him the pic of the suspect on her phone and here she is again, wearing gloves while Elliot’s hands are bare but this time she brushes her fingers over his ever so slightly while taking the letter from him. The touch is on purpose, has to be, but it’s like the rooftop scene where she bumps into him to make sure it’s really him. Not to mention the gloves vs bare hands thing - she’s erected walls up around her heart and her life and she has all these boundaries she won’t let Elliot cross, not now, maybe not ever she tells herself, and as long as she can separate even the smallest amount of her bare flesh from his she just might be able to make it through him being back in town

ELLIOT WANTED HER TO INTRODUCE HIM TO NOAH YOU CAN SEE IT god he must’ve been so torn up about it bc that’s her kid!!!!!! He’s a part of her!!!!!!!!! He wants to know everything he missed and she won’t even introduce him to her child!!!!!!!!

Angela Wheatley I’m free on Thursday if you’d like to hang out on Thursday when I am free

Liv doesn’t take her eyes off Elliot at the funeral not once NOT ONCE I know I’ve said this before but she’s really the glue that holds that goddamn family together and I am DYING

She holds it together for all the kids and Elliot but the second she walks away her face just fuckin CRUMPLES she can’t hold it together anymore especially after the way Elliot grabbed her whole ass arm to thank her for going I’m dkdkskdkdkdkd this is too much this is too much

THEY DELETED THE FUCKIN SCENE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY IN ELLIOT’S APARTMENT??????? WHY???????? I WANTED TO OVERANALYZE IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay so I know Richard Wheatley is the bad guy but I luv him what a MAN. He really said “fuck you you racist piece of shit” and killed his own dad fkdkdkdkdkdksk okay WORK RICHARD

SERGEANT BELL I AM AVAILABLE ON THURSDAY LEMME KNOW IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO HANG OUT ON THURSDAY WHEN YOU ARE FREE

Bell not taking any sorta shit from Elliot I LUV IT I LUV HER GET HIS ASS DKDKDKDKSKSKS he NEEDS people to keep his ass in line bc he doesn’t know how to act not even a lil bit

LIV READ THE LETTER!!!!!! She’s the least stand-offish she’s been to him this whole time WHAT WAS IN THAT LETTER I HAVE TO KNOW

* She knows him too well she knows he’s hiding something from her she knows he’s got something going on but he’s never been good at separating his work from his real life and that hasn’t changed, not now, not even with her and she KNOWS something’s off the way she looks at him while he’s waiting for the elevator is unreal and the lil half nod he gives her bc he KNOWS he needs to talk to her about that letter, especially when she’s WILLING TO TALK NOW but the job!!!!!! “You and the job are about the only thing I’ve got anymore” and he doesn’t even have her, not like he used to, not like he wants to, so he defaults to the job and trying to figure out who killed Kathy and who has it out for him

Okay I obvs didn’t have as much to yell about in OC as I did SVU but I’m so excited to see how OC goes bc it’s got me intrigued already like I need to know. Everything. About the Wheatleys!!!! EVERYTHING!!!!!!! And I need to see Liv and Elliot interact again pls pls I need it 😭😭😭😭😭 ANYWAYS THE END BYE

[youmakemestrong]

THE TIME HAS COME lol this is gonna be really fucking long but. BUT. THE RAINBOW FUCKING BONDAGE BEARS> rbb and sbb. literally like the spawns of satan. imma just bullet the list of things i hate about them (this isn't even gonna be half but whatever its fine. ok well nevermind tumblr won't let me bullet but heres my uncomprehensive list to rbb: the spotlights that were blue and green. louis' vans shirt in the sun glasses reflection. the crowns that had the blue and green jems on them. +

+ the fucking PHONE BILL THATS STILL ACTIVE. the interview where they lie a bunch and niall snaps his neck. the gay icon references, particularly freddie mercury and judy garland. the gay and lgbtq+ literature. SPEAKiN OF BOOKS- THE FUCKING HOLMES CHAPLE LIBRARY BOOK. the fact that the narrative if them changed like 100000 times. the homesoon to return tweet. the larry twitter likes. AGAIN> the blue and green. the walls that matched with louis' house. wishing happy birthday on louis' birthday. +

them being in the same place all the time. using twitter at the same time. honestly the list goes on and on those are just the ones i remember off the top of my head lol. also the summer camp fic anon was not me BUT that is a great fic and you should read it haha. i understand you're a slow burn lover, what are your favorites? xoxo, e

okay i’m not gonna be back with my laptop tonight at all and fully just got on my sister’s work computer JUST to reply to all of this bc i am so wired by everything that has happened today (under a read more because i genuinely have so fucking much to say about rbb at all times and y’all do not need the longest post in the world)

i truly have a crisis about those bears at least once a week. like since 2015 i have gone through a rbbsbb crisis WEEKLY. every single time i have doubted larry i have thought about those fucking bears and i’ve pulled up the RBB & SBB For Dummies masterpost and have lost my fucking mind all over again because two members of an internationally acclaimed boy band truly felt so smothered by their label that they found a loophole to their contract and talked to their fans and taught us queer history through two stuffed rainbow bears.

they are truly the smartest, most clever boys in the world and i am so thankful every single day that we stan these geniuses who found a way to talk to us when they couldn’t. it makes Liam’s “we are the quiet ones” tattoo way louder. 

also i’m sure you’ve seen my pinned post i cannot believe they tried to say it was the crew when that phone is still active and being paid for FIVE years later. also the “niall snaps his neck” interview to look at louis truly makes me LAUGH SO HARD every single time niall has never had a poker face

the holmes chapel library book and the bear inn that was near holmes chapel???? how fucking loud i want to scream every SINGLE TIME i think about it. 

and the time RBB took pics with two drag queens at a gay bar and we found out where it was by the wall and we realized Louis was ACROSS THE STREET AT ANOTHER BAR THAT NIGHT????? 

do not get me started on “Home, soon to return” and then Louis tweeting the Home emoji i’m not sober enough to restrain myself from sobbing in public

ALSO “LARRY OK” i remember that day vividly and i was in the house i am in right now and i remember being like “mom we have to leave, rbb favorited a larry tweet” and she had no idea what i was saying gdsokdgskhs

also obligatory my favorite rbb/sbb photo which is the wedding dress with the signed picture of Larry Grayson that said “love, Larry” on it like.......4 days before September 28th???? a suspected very important day for them??? i legit want to scream y’all

anyway this is probably all i have for right now bc my family members will actually come looking for me soon if i don’t continue partying with them (there’s only about 5 of us and it’s my niece’s birthday haha) but yeah i am legit always willing to scream about fucking rbb like two little rainbow stuffed teddy bears plague all of my thoughts so

JUST KIDDING i just thought about when bg was announced and rbb had the little book of calm and the personally made diarrhea book????????? what the fuck???? why are HL so extra??????

anyway bye ily rbb stresses me out and also this was such a good day i’m so so happy for louis for escaping that piece of garbage

[lwjstiletto]

wangxian au where lwj is a popular hand model and wwx is an independent jewellery maker [Part 1]

[Twitter thread version]

wwx is a go-getter kind of guy. he likes pretty things and pretty people. so his job is a win-win in that he makes pretty things for pretty people— well mostly

lately all his brain has churned out is designs that only the very nice old ladies in his neighbourhood indulgently buy from him

he’s grateful for it but nevertheless it’s been disheartening looking for the elusive muse for his next project

jiang cheng only sighs whenever he mentions this and rants about how if wwx just LISTENED to him and actually put effort into commercialising his bestsellers instead of hyperfocusing on one body part/gem/technique and hopping from one product to the next; and in general just making his business a chaotic mess where clients couldn’t guess what he would put out next, that he would have a better shot

but ofc wwx sighs even more at this and just goes ‘but jiang cheng~’

what kind of argument even is that? but jc lets it go bc wwx supplies him with endless half-finished projects that are complicated-looking enough to give his students a good challenge when drawing still life

so anyways, wwx is still making old lady jewellery and being generally pitiful when he stumbles across an intriguing article on twitter

—•—

lwj on the other hand has been fastening and unfastening his cufflinks for an hour straight. that’s pretty much status quo for hand models who have to spend hours on end either doing repetitive gestures or holding completely still

lwj doesn’t mind though, he has always had steady hands and dextrous fingers, practically an advertiser’s ‘wet dream’ as his agent, nhs, puts it

said agent pulls him aside when it’s finally time for his break. nhs looks harried, which isn’t out of the ordinary, but he’s also not meeting lwj’s eyes which sets of alarm bells in his head

“okay before i tell you,” nhs starts without prompting, “promise not to fire me.”

lwj doesn’t narrow his eyes, but the twitch of his eyebrow is close enough, “i will be fair.”

“that’s not a-“ nhs sighs, “good enough i guess. do you remember that photoshoot you did with da-ge a few months back?”

lwj nods. how could he forget? it had been... an experience for sure. it was a photoshoot for a book cover for a popular teen novel

and while lwj didn’t meet fellow hand models often, he had come across other ‘parts models’ as they were called

spending the better part of two days caressing nmj’s abs was... by far not the most unpleasant job he’d had as a hand model

nhs holds out a copy of the novel for him to see. the cover they used is from the second half of the photoshoot where they took a few wider shots

lwj sees nothing wrong with it. it’s a standard cover, if a bit lewd due to all the... ab touching. in fact the entire cover is just nmj’s abs and wide shoulders

lwj doesn’t think his hands serve any other purpose than obstructing the view in the poorest attempt to keep it pg. still he fails to see the problem

nhs wrings his hands together, “there was a blog post about it. do you know anyone named su she?”

lwj thinks for a moment, then vaguely recalls the name with a sinking realisation

—•—

wwx is still thinking about the article when jin zixuan comes to drop jin ling off at his apartment. unprompted, wwx asks him, “do you think i could sell feet pics?”

he can see jzx’s soul leave his body as he drops jin ling’s overnight bag on the pavement. wwx’s favourite new hobby is dropping these bombs on jzx and watching him dissociate from reality as he tries to answer wwx’s insane questions with logic

being a father has changed him. a few years ago he would have just slammed the nearest door in wwx’s face

“why... do you want to sell feet pics? is your business not going well?” jzx asks, and actually looks concerned. well, now wwx feels bad

“my business is just fine.” wwx says grumpily

“really? jiang cheng and yanli seem to think otherwise.”

“you eavesdropped on them didn’t you?”

jzx is entirely unashamed, “i’m just concerned.”

“again, my business is fine!”

“you know if you ever needed money-“

wwx turns jzx around and pushes him towards his car, “don’t you have things to do? get jin ling out of the car seat, it’s getting late.”

since the peacock has acquired immunity to his teasing by straight up being ~nice~ to him, it’s only fair that wwx sends jin ling back with so many new toys that they will take up at least a whole corner in his unnecessarily gigantic home

—•—

lwj meets his brother for iced tea at a cafe near huaisang’s office. lwj does not like iced tea but has deliberately kept this from his brother because lxc loves it and has made it his personal mission to try every iced tea flavour he can get his hands on

it is also the easiest way to lure his brother out of his busy schedule. lwj knows lxc would take time to meet him anyway, but he wants lxc to indulge in something he likes once in a while

“wangji, you seem restless.” lxc says, concerned

lwj takes a tentative sip of his black currant iced tea. it’s abhorrent

“do you remember su she?” lwj asks

lxc, “the one from your cello class?”

lwj nods

“the one who broke his string and his bow in the same day?” lxc asks, almost looking amused

lwj winces, “yes.”

“did he ever come back to the class after that?” lxc asks

lwj shakes his head, then taps the glass with a gloved finger

“has he been bothering you again?” lxc asks seriously, “if he has-“

“it’s-“ lwj sighs, “complicated.”

before lxc can make assumptions, lwj unlocks his phone and shows it to lxc

lxc reads silently for a minute or two, then his eyes widen. “he posted this on the novel’s discussion forum?”

lwj nods

“how did he even-“ lxc says, then pauses in thought, “is it because of the cello class?”

“mn, perhaps.” lwj says, “he saw the book cover i did with huaisang’s brother. he is a fan of the novel.”

“so he went and researched the models who were on the cover?” lxc frowns, “how did he even find that?”

“my name is public information.” lwj says, “it would certainly be hard to find, but it is available nonetheless.”

“are you going to be okay?” lxc asks.

“i am worried it will impact your reputation. my job is not... conventional.” lwj doesn’t meet his brother’s gaze

“wangji, that is the least of my concerns. you did not want to do conventional modelling by choice.” lxc says

he isn’t wrong, lwj hadn’t wanted to have his face photographed, it had never appealed to him. no matter how many compliments he received on his looks

his popularity started and ended within the advertising circle and nhs never offered him jobs he didn’t want. putting a face to his popular hand modelling career was not an ideal situation

especially since it had reached a lot of the novel’s fans who’d begun discussing him on other social media platforms

“i will handle this.” lxc says, “this is not right. you especially drew up contracts with advertisers to avoid this situation.”

“brother-“ lwj starts

“he should not have posted pictures of you.” lxc isn’t even drinking his iced tea, lwj notes

“it is already out. there is not much we can do.” lwj says reasonably

lxc doesn’t quite seethe but he doesn’t touch his iced coffee again

—•—

wwx finally admits to himself that he may be experiencing a slump. he hasn’t touched his tools in two months and his work bench has acquired a thick layer of dust on which jin ling drew a frowny face with his fingers then immediately tried to lick them

and what does one do when lacking motivation? harrass his brother in his cushy office at the university of course

to his credit, jc lets him prace around and poke at his things for a solid ten seconds before snapping at him. which means he and jyl must actually be worried about him

“wei wuxian” jc says through clenched teeth when wwx has pushed the paperweight on his desk to the very edge, trying to see how far jc would let him take it

ah, so not worried enough to break into his house at night, wwx notes

“so, do you think i could sell foot pics?” wwx uses his favourite new icebreaker

jc puts his head in his hands like wwx put the worlds’ weight on his shoulders. if he listens closely, he’s sure he can hear a repetition of ‘why why why why’ in jc’s head

“why...” jc forces himself to say

wwx shurgs with a grin, “i read an article about it. apparently a lot of people are into feet.”

“into... feet...” jc says

“yeah like they get off-“

jc holds up a hand to stop him, “i get it. did you come all the way across the city to ask me this?”

“yes and no.” wwx says, “i wanted to ask if you could draw me some.”

“some... feet...?” jc is going to kick him out soon, wwx can feel it

wwx places his chin in both his hands and tries to look pitiful, “isn’t it better than me buying foot pics? think of how that would reflect on you if anyone found out.”

jc feels a headache coming on, “please tell me you’re using them as reference to design anklets or something.”

wwx laughs, “of course! what did you think?”

jc glares at him, “i will ban you from campus.”

wwx bothers him a bit more and then gets thrown out more gently than he has come to expect from jc, still not sure if jc will actually fulfill his request

and maybe it’s because his luck has been down for too long that life took pity and decided to throw something good at him, he turns the corner to see one of the most beautiful men he has laid his eyes on

his attention is focused on the folder in his hands, and it’s late enough that there are no students milling the corridors. this is probably why the aforementioned beautiful, stunning, abolutely breathtaki- man manages to walk straight into wwx

several things happen at once. wwx sees it coming unlike the other person, so he reaches out to steady him. turns out there isn’t much need of that because the man gets his bearings back alarmingly fast for someone caught by surprise

the folder in his hands does not have similar balance though, and falls to the floor, splattering it’s contents halfway across the hallway

the man looks... well neutral, but the speed at which he drops to his knees lets wwx know that it’s not something he wants wwx to see

which, of course has the opposite effect. when wwx looks down to see the photographs that have not yet been put back into the folder- he is left speechless for once

the immediate and most obvious explanation is that this guy is an art student who is using these pictures as reference... but of course wwx’s first thought is Oh mY gOd this guy has a hand fetish because his talk with jc is still fresh in his head

once that thought is in his head, wwx notices a number of things in quick sequence

this dude looks uncharacteristically nervous for an innocent art student, and he’s wearing GLOVES like a CRIMINAL who’s STEALING pictures of those pretty hands from an art class for his own pleasure

art students don’t wear gloves, especially not in the middle of summer! and no one can possibly require that many pictures for just one body part

satisfied with his reasonable conclusion, wwx opens his mouth to accuse the man only to realise that he is upright once again with all his stolen pictures securely in his folder

“are you stealing those?” wwx asks straightforwardly

the man actually does seem to be caught off-guard for longer than two seconds this time

then he proceeds to walk past wwx

“hey wait!” wwx blocks his path again, “i get it, you know? we all have needs and i’m totally not judging you for it. but there are sites for this stuff.”

the man finally looks at him, and wow he’s even more attractive than wwx first thought and his eyes are so pretty and- he walks past wwx again

wwx, yet again, catches up to him and decides that walking beside him is more effective. “good quality photography like that is usually quite expensive you know?”

the man continues to ignore him so wwx grabs the folder in his hands and gives it a good yank

“what are you doing?” the man finally speaks. even his voice is nice. wwx is sure people would send him hand pics for free if he asked

“returning this to the rightful owner.” wwx holds the folder out of his reach

the man takes a deep breath, then pulls at one of his satin gloves- SATIN, how did wwx not notice that- and holds his beautiful hand up to wwx’s face

wwx’s brain immediately short circuits as he thinks ‘maybe ~I~ am the one with a hand fetish’ because that’s... one pretty hand

one... familiar hand. the same even tone, smooth skin and long, elegant fingers with perfectly manicured nails...

while he stands there, gaping like a fish, the man snatches the folder out of his hand and starts walking away with quicker strides

by the time wwx’s brain reboots and the realisation finally sinks in- he has finally found the muse he has been looking for- the man is already gone

—•—

lwj admits that he is... slightly stressed out, and is definitely showing enough signs of it that nhs has caught on

“you went to visit wen qing yesterday.” it’s not a question so lwj doesn’t answer. “did you perhaps run into an old acquaintance?”

lwj shakes his head, “it is not what you think.”

this sparks curiosity in nhs which is a toss up between better and worse than the implication that lwj’s stress stems from accidentally meeting su she at the university

“did you run into a fan?” nhs asks and it’s actually a reasonable concern since lwj wants to avoid even being /known/ at all costs

lwj shakes his head. he trusts nhs which isn’t as surprising now as it had been to him years ago when he had agreed to give nhs free reign over the work he chose for lwj

“somebody from the university knows of my identity.” lwj says finally.

nhs seems to think it over, “it was inevitable. even after taking down the blog post, people are still curious about you.”

lwj wants to tell him that it’s actually his fault but he stays silent as nhs continues his train of thought.

“you’re exciting because people have seen you without actually seeing you. you’ve worked with big brands and celebrities and it normally wouldn’t spark interest-

- but unfortunately for you, you are attractive. it will die down after a while, we just have to ride it out for now.” nhs concludes.

lwj nods, feeling reassured. nhs is usually right about these things, which is why lwj regards him so highly

he has a video shoot for some fancy kitchen installation company after that, and he tries not to think about the man who accused him of stealing his own pictures while he very slowly chops a mango on the surely unsanitary granite counter

he’s working with a photographer he knows well, one of the best in his line of work. song lan has a good eye for what would look enticing in an advert and doesn’t make him do weird, suggestive things like kneading dough in slow motion. lwj suppresses a shudder at the thought

after cutting enough magoes to feed ten people, the shoot finally wraps up and one of the PAs on the set holds out a basin for him to wash his hands in

the warm water is soothing to his aching fingers and he lets his hands soak but not for longer than a few seconds to prevent his skin from pruning. he then rubs the special concoction that is his version of the best moisturiser and puts his hands in soft cotton gloves

song lan comes to greet him after and expresses his sympathies about his pictures making rounds on the internet

lwj’s eyes widen ever so slightly, “you know of it?”

“my boyfriend is a fan.” he says with a fond shake of his head, “otherwise i’d have no idea.”

luckily before lwj can start to panic, nhs trots up to them and the conversation ends there as he’s dragged to his next shoot

—•—

“for the last time, i don’t know your ‘guy with pretty hands’.” jc says, exasperated. “what’s with you and body parts nowadays? if it’s a kink thing.. please rethink your life.”

wwx sighs. he knew going to jc was useless, but at least it confirmed his suspicion that the guy isn’t an art student

however, that makes the task of finding him and then begging him to model wwx’s jewellery harder. because yes, wwx has spent the last five days cooped up in his workshop making complex hand chains

now if he only had more than a memory to draw inspiration from...

it’s frustrating. wwx should have at least asked for his name and number. how can he be this stupid?

“very easily.” is jc’s reply to this

“jiang chengggg.” wwx whines, “i have to find him or my creativity will die a horrible death.”

jc looks like he is ageing before his eyes. “if i ask around the staff will you promise to only come to my office during emergencies? you’re freaking my students out.”

“yes!” wwx agrees enthusiastically, then frowns. “freaking them out? i’m so nice to everyone!”

“you tried to get at least five of my students to draw your pretty boy from description.” jc deadpans, “they think he’s a criminal.”

“a criminal after my heart, aha!” wwx says with finger guns.. and gets thrown out by jc for his efforts. it’s less gentle this time

a few days later, jc calls him, “apparently ‘his identity needs to be protected’. is he actually a criminal?”

“he was wearing gloves...” wwx mutters, “i’m kidding! not about the gloves, but i don’t think he’s a criminal.”

jc makes a doubtful noise on the other end. “well, whatever. so yeah, anyway, i can’t get wen qing to tell me anything. you can come bully her yourself if you dare to.”

“why does it have to be wen qing?” wwx groans, “she’ll roast me on low flame before she tells me anything. why couldn’t it be wen ning— wait. wen ning probably knows him too. jiang cheng i’m a genius!”

jc hangs up on him but it doesn’t dampen his spirits at all. he’s so close to finding him.

—•—

shoots where he has to hold objects for an extended period of time are already unkind to his muscles, but holding objects with /postures/ is even worse. his fingers are so stiff after his seven hour shoot with swarovski that when one of the assistants on set hands him a cup of warm tea, it slips right through his grip and shatters on the ground unceremoniously

everyone freezes, and then start to buzz around him, asking if he is feeling unwell or if he needs to sit down. because lwj never drops /anything/. it’s in his job description NOT to drop anything

god, lwj hates jewellery shoots the most

nhs hears about this, ofc. lwj suspects he can be at multiple places at a time. so lwj is neatly packed into a SUV and sent away to get a relaxing massage and manicure

lwj would usually put up a fight but his muscles have been aching for days and nhs has theatened to text his brother at least three times this week. he doesn’t want to risk a fourth

wen ning, the meek but kind masseuse greets him with a bow, “lan er-gongzi, are you well?”

lwj nods, and is about to ask about wn as well when he hears the door of the masseuse parlour bang open behind him

“you!” comes a shout and lwj turns around, alarmed

the man who accused him of stealing his own pictures is standing there, pointing a finger at him

“if i was unclear the last time, i did not steal those photographs.” lwj says

the man seems stunned for two seconds, then frowns. “steal.. i know that you didn’t steal them.”

lwj nods, then starts to walk further into the parlour- except for the hand that grips and brings him to a stop. lwj would usually rip his hand away, but the slight pressure sends pain shooting up his arm

and lwj definitely didn’t realise how stiff his muscles were until then. he must have made a noise, a mixture between surprise and a wince, because the man lets go immediately

“are you okay?” he asks, looking alarmed

lwj closes his eyes to compose himself

“wei-gongzi, what are you doing here?” lwj hears wen ning ask

“i came to find him.” the man replies

lwj’s eyes open in shock. find him? does he know of lwj’s identity? is he a fan of the novel? this has gotten way bigger than either lwj or nhs predicted if people are actively seeking him out

“i think you have misunderstood.” lwj says, projecting a calm exterior even though he’s feeling a little cornered. cornered.. by a single person... what has his life come to?

but today it’s one person, next... he doesn’t even want to think about it. he has never wanted to be in the public light and does not want the /crowd/ and god forbid- the /noise/ that comes with it

he had gotten comfortable in the happy equilibrium of popularity and anonymity- the only thing which had lured him into accepting this job and has kept him in it thus far

... and it seems to be crumbling right before his eyes

“what? no i haven’t. i wouldn’t forget your face.” the man says, “hey stop running away-“

but lwj is already walking past him to exit the massage parlour. he needs to call someone. nhs most probably. or a cab.

the other man is speedy though, and blocks him right at the door, extending his arms and legs to cover the width of the opening as if lwj was thinking of sneaking around him. (he was, but that’s not the point)

“okay maybe i’ve come across as creepier than expected.” the man says, “but i swear i just want your hands!”

[wen ning shakes his head furiously in the background]

the panic lwj feels must be enough to be showing on his usually blank face, because the man backtracks

“i mean- no- that came off as even creepier oh my god. i’m not a serial killer, i promise.”

[wen ning makes a big X over his head with his arms]

the man takes a deep breath and actually seems to think before speaking this time, “hi, my name is wei ying. i’m a jeweller by profession. what’s your name?”

“move aside.” lwj says.

“do you promise not to run and actually hear me out? because it was so hard to track you down, god, it took me a week!”

[wn texting nhs: pls come and save lwj i think he’s about to faint]

“a week...” lwj says, “you tracked me down for a week?”

“no! i mean yes but not in a stalker way!” wwx seems to be having a mini meltdown, “you know just nice good ol’ asking around about the cute guy i saw at the uni... not... stalking...”

luckily lwj’s phone begins to ring, cutting wwx off. [wen ning is very thankful for this. he doesn’t think having the police here would be good for business]

“brother.” lwj says, still a little strung up

“wangji, i’m almost there.”

“what?”

“huaisang told me you were ill,” lxc says, “and i was in the area so i told him i’d take you to the doctor.”

lwj turns to give wen ning a scathing look. “he exaggerated. i’m fine. you don’t have to come here.”

lwj doesn’t think his brother will take the fact that he has acquired a stalker well

“i’m outside.” lxc says

lwj resists the urge to sigh. he’s going to strangle everyone in this room, then himself

“i’ll be there in a minute then.” lwj says.

“i’m making my way to the parlour.” lxc says, disregarding him completely

“brother i can walk.” lwj says calmly. murder is on his mind.

lxc hangs up on him. lwj actually sighs this time.

“if you don’t want my brother to report you, you need to move aside.” lwj says to wwx.

wwx opens his mouth as if he wants to continue to dig himself into a hole, but then moves aside degectedly

then he removes a business card from his wallet and puts it in lwj’s shirt pocket.

“you can look me up, i’m not lying. i really am a jeweller and i’d like to work with you.” he says

before lwj can protest, lxc is already at the entrance, carrying what looks like half the pharmacy in a paperbag

“wangji.” he greets, and then pauses to nod politely at the other men, “let’s go.”

lwj follows him silently

—•—

wen ning sighs and flips the sign on the door to ‘closed’ resigning to the fact that wwx will remain a permanent fixture on his floor for a while

“so you thought he was a creepy thief and now he thinks you’re a creepy stalker?” wn asks.

wwx, who has told him all of this between groans, groans again.

“do you... want a free massage?” wn offers

“yes.”

lwj fights the urge to touch his shirt pocket while in the car with lxc.

“you need to go to the hospital wangji, you don’t look well.” lxc insists

“i will eat every medicine in that bag if you drop me off at huaisang’s office.” lwj replies

lxc looks alarmed, “you’ll definitely need to go to the hospital then.”

“i will eat every medicine in that bag if you /don’t/ drop me off at huaisang’s office.” lwj amends, neatly closing all the loopholes

“at least let me come with you.” lxc says in his last ditch attempt to find out exactly what has left his brother so rattled

“i will eat-“

“fine okay. i just worry about you, you know? you never tell me when something is bothering you anymore.” lxc says

“if it is important, i will tell you.” lwj says. he doesn’t want lxc to worry but also doesn’t want to lie.

lxc nods, accepting this, then turns the car around

—•—

“wei wuxian.” nhs raises an eyebrow at the card lwj has placed on his table. “this is the man who has been stalking you?”

lwj nods.

“are you certain?” nhs asks, looking conflicted.

lwj gives him a look.

“okay, okay! just making sure!” nhs says, raising his palms in defence.

“you know of him.” lwj states.

“well,” nhs says, “he didn’t lie to you, he really is a jeweller. he is very elusive though. he tends to drop these groundbreaking collections every fall and then disappears.”

lwj tries to align the man he met today with this talented, cryptic jeweller persona. if they really are the same person, then perhaps unhinged genius fits him better.

“if he’s serious about working with you...” nhs gets a gleam in his eyes that lwj doesn’t like. this is /not/ how he pictured this conversation going. he’s slowly but surely developing a migrane

“look, i’m never going to force you to do anything.” nhs says, “but will you let me speak to him first? i want to know if this he’s the real deal of if we need a restraining order.”

restraining order. this is escalating way past lwj’s mental capacity at the moment.

nhs seems to see that, “you need to go home and rest. i’ll have a masseuse meet you there. let me handle this.”

he says it with such firm conviction that lwj has no choice but to trust him, so he nods.

[Part 2] [Part 3]

[greenandthetown]

meeting AJR 11/4/2019

So I was upset that I wouldn’t be able to catch AJR on the Neotheater tour since they weren’t hitting my city (part 2 is though!!), until I found out that the radio station I intern at was hosting them for an acoustic session. I begged my boss to let me work the event because I had to be there.

I was a little worried I wouldn’t be put on the schedule for the event which is why I never said anything about it on here until after it happened. Didn’t want to jinx anything. But I did get put on and it was my legit first time ever skipping class (this is my third year of college btw) but skipping class to hug Adam Met is absolutely worth it and it was my least favorite class anyway.

There were two meet and greets since Flora Cash were also there (which was the second time I’d met them through work- they’re very nice people!!) and my coworker and I were just kind of standing there wondering what to do next when the boys walked by us. Like, legit just through the back and I froze up because yes, that was Ryan Met that just walked behind me holy shit.

There was a basketball hoop set up behind our station backdrop and we were told we had to make sure people didn’t sneak in early for AJR m&g so we left. But the doors are glass so I could see Jack and Ryan and JJ and Austin playing basketball while Adam talked to the venue owner and some other people but I couldn’t do anything! (except freak out of course) (but I was technically working so I couldn’t freak out too much)

Usually us interns get a staff pic with my boss and the band, but I asked my boss if I could get a solo pic with the boys because they’re one of my all time favorites and he let me and I was so happy. I was kinda awkward bc I didn’t want to ask them if they remembered me but I wanted to tell them how much they mean to me so basically I was like:

“Hey! I know I’m working this but, could I please get a hug?”

and they were like “a hug?! yeah sure!!” and then I got to hug Jack, and Ryan, and Adam (which I think is the order I hugged them in last time lol).

I told them that I had seen them the last time they were in Milwaukee and that they are a big reason I made it through my freshman year of college and they were like “aw, that’s a really sweet” and then I got to take my picture with them. I purposefully wore the same pants and shoes (I wrote a creative essay that featured wearing those shoes for the first time to their show so it felt right), but I didn’t plan on being in the same position. It’s basically a “how much people change in a year” picture.

I got to be in the staff picture too! I think Jack was asking me if I wanted to be in the middle again but my boss stood there instead so I got to stand next to Ryan and that was really sweet.

They only played four songs during their acoustic set and I had to stand way to the side but it was still good and I managed not to cry until “Dear Winter” and I’m honestly super proud of that.

TL;DR I met AJR again through the radio station I intern at and it was really sweet and they’re still so lovely.

[redgillan]

Missed Chances - part 2

Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: 13 Going on 30!AU - Steve Rogers is crazy about you, but he’s afraid his feelings are only one sided and being one of your best friends, he doesn’t want to ruin your friendship… On his 13th birthday, he makes a wish and wakes up in the body of his 30 year old self. The problem is, you’re no longer a part of his life.

Word Count: 3,845

Warnings: Language, Nudity, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Drug Use, Cliffhanger

A/N: This is so long, I’m sorry. I tried to make the descriptions fun, but idk. I added a few pics bc it was too beautiful. It took me a while to write this chapter, but I had so much research to do for this fic... yikes. I really hope you’ll like this chapter, I worked so hard on it.

Missed Chances - Masterpage

Steve woke up with a migraine, the mattress soft beneath him. His mother must have carried him up and tucked him in while he was asleep because he sure as hell wasn’t lying on the basement floor.

Soft silky sheets brushed against his naked skin and his brows immediately furrowed. He always wore pyjamas.

He tried to sit up, but soon realised that there was a weight on his left shoulder. He looked down at it and saw a mop of tousled light brown hair resting on his chest.

A woman!

His first reaction was to roll to the other side of the bed where he ended up face-to-face with another woman. A strangled cry escaped his throat, making the two women whine in their sleep.

“Mornin, daddy,” the one on his left slurred, her hand trailing up his thigh.

“Did you just call me daddy?” he asked. His voice was so low, he must have caught a cold during his birthday party.

“Isn’t that what you want, daddy?” she whispered into his ear, her hand cupping his groin.

He shirked and scrambled off the bed, taking the silky sheet with him. The two naked women sat up, concerned looks on their faces.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re naked!” Steve wrapped the sheet around his hips and gestured in their direction with his free hand.

Why did he feel like he was standing on a stepladder? His head was spinning, the room was spinning, too. He had to get out of here.

He looked around the darkened room and yelled, “MOM!”

A look of mild panic crossed the brunette’s face. She picked up her discarded dress and slipped it on. The second woman apparently had the same idea and together they quickly collected their things before they rushed out of the room.

“Wait!” Steve yelled, fumbling with the sheet as he tried to follow them.

He tripped over the trailing sheet and fell face-first onto the soft rug, accompanied by a muffled ‘oof A soft, vibrating sound made him raise his head and he watched in speechless awe as the natural light began to pour into the bedroom.

The room was large, yet simple. There was a King size bed facing floor-to-ceiling windows, offering one of the most impressive views of New York City Steve had ever seen.

Decorative pillows had been thrown to the foot of the bed. One of them even landed on a teardrop shaped settee near the door.

“Good morning, Mr Rogers,” said a sweet feminine voice with an Irish accent. Her voice seemed to come from the ceiling.

Startled, Steve sat on the floor and tugged the sheet around him while looking suspiciously around the room.

“The cook is in the elevator, he should be here any second,” the voice continued. “I’ll start the shower now. Would you like me to turn on some music?”

He had so many questions, but he couldn’t decide which one to ask first so he went with the most obvious one. “Where are you right now?”

The voice sighed. “As I’ve explained before, I’m F.R.I.D.A.Y, an artificial intelligence created by Stark Inc. I’m connected to all the devices around your apartments, including your personal and work phones and computers.”

He sat on the bed and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, trying to make sense of what happened. He cleared his throat, hoping to get rid of that ridiculously low voice.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I think you have the wrong Rogers. I don’t know how I ended up in this apartment, or in New York, but I’ll give you my mom’s numb-”

“I’ll ask the cook to add pain killers with your breakfast,” she cut him off, sounding amused. “Perhaps you should lay off the Norwegian liquor for awhile.”

Steve was scared to leave the room, not knowing what he’d find behind the door. He didn’t want to run into the owner, Mr Rogers.

As promised, F.R.I.D.A.Y turned on the shower and, remembering the two naked ladies in his bed, he figured he could use one.

He walked to the windows and marvelled at the view for a moment. He lived in Port Chester and rarely visited the city. On second thought, it wasn’t so bad. At least now he had a funny story to tell Bucky.

He followed the sound of running water and opened the door that led to the bathroom.

The bathroom was equally luxurious with its inlaid stone rain shower that could easily fit eight people. There was also a long vanity with double sinks and a mirror facing the shower.

Mouth agape, Steve let the sheet drop and padded to the shower.

As he passed the mirror, he caught a glimpse of a naked man and threw himself to the floor. He slowly peeked over the vanity, an excuse ready on his lips, but he realized it was just a mirror.

Frowning, he lifted his head a little and let out a small gasp as he stared at himself in the mirror.

“Oh, my god,” he swore, straightened up to his full height, “It’s me, I’m... hot!”

He didn’t look sickly anymore; he was strong and muscular and at least a foot taller. His hair was a darker shade of blond and slightly longer, too. He had a full beard and stared at it for a full minute. He’d always wondered if he’d ever grow facial hair.

“What’s happening?” he said, staring at his reflection.

He ran a hand through his hair, combing it back from his forehead. His hair seemed to naturally fall back into place, like he’d done this gesture so many times that his hair knew exactly where to go.

Yesterday was his thirteenth birthday party and today he woke up looking like a thirty-year-old man. How was it possible?

Oh, the birthday party....

I want to be an adult. I want to be thirty, I want to find love.

“No,” Steve drawled out, disbelief lacing his voice. “That’s so cool!”

It seemed completely crazy, but there was no other explanation.

He took a step back and checked himself out in the mirror. His body was, for lack of a better word, impressive. Wide shoulders, broad chest, tiny waist, massive arms and thighs...

“Tattoos?” he whined, inspecting his body closely. He had one on his left shoulder, a quote under his clavicle and another one on the right side of his chest. “Mom’s gonna kill me!”

The shower was already running, the steam fogging up the mirror. He stepped into the shower, his eyes focused on his blurry reflection.

Showering was a strange experience. He ran his hands over the hard planes of his broad chest and tight abs, discovering this new body more intimately.

His breathing hitched and he felt himself growing hard. Chancing a glance down, he saw the evidence of his arousal sticking up straight from his body. Then, suddenly, the water turned ice cold and he hurriedly leapt out of the shower stall.

“What the hell?”

“You always end your morning shower with a blast of cold water,” the A.I replied. “It increases alertness and closes up the pores.”

“Yeah? Let’s not do that again.”

“Very well, sir.”

“You can call me Steve,” he said, wrapping himself in a fluffy towel. “So, um, I live here?”

“Yes, Steve, 45 East 22nd Street, apartment 60FL. Is there anything else you need?”

“Clothes?” he replied with a shy grimace.

Following F.R.I.D.A.Y’s direction, he took a deep breath before he opened the bedroom door. He was scared to run into someone, even though the A.I. had informed him that it was just him and the cook.

He entered the walk-in closet tentatively and gasped when F.R.I.D.A.Y. turned on the lights. It was twice the size of his bedroom, with a round sofa in the middle of the room and a small staircase that led to another closet with mirrored sliding doors.

Suits, shirts, trousers, jeans, shoes; there were enough items for him to open his own store. He took his time and tried on several outfits before he found the perfect one.

“Steve,” the A.I. interrupted, “Your morning coffee has just finished brewing. Breakfast is served. I should also remind you that Mr Rumlow will be expecting you in the hall at 8 a.m.”

“Brock?” Steve squealed, suddenly excited to see a familiar face. “I’m still friends with Brock! That’s awesome!”

“Indeed, it is,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied in a monotonous voice. “Are you sober enough to find the dining room?”

He bashfully told her he had no idea where the dining room was and she provided directions again. She sounded like a real person: annoyed, sassy, amused... It was strange to think she was just a voice in the wall.

What Steve had seen so far was nothing compared to the living-slash-dining room. It looked like a page out of a magazine.

There was a large and modern dining room table for formal meals that led to a windowed eat-in kitchen with marble countertops and custom-designed cabinetry.

The living room was spacious and bright, decorated with modern artworks and furnishings. Thanks to the floor-to-ceiling windows, he had a 360-degree view of New York City, looking over the borough of Brooklyn.

“I could get used to that,” Steve whispered to himself.

He sat at the breakfast nook and glared at the tray of food in front of him. His breakfast consisted of a green concoction in a tall glass, a slice of grapefruit and a bowl of sliced bananas in plain yogurt. He poked the grapefruit with his spoon and screwed his face up in disgust.

“Um, ma’am,” he spoke, looking up at the ceiling. “Do you have cereal?”

“You cut out sugar from your diet,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. replied.

“That sucks!”

He ate a few spoonfuls of yogurt before he pushed the tray away. It was almost time to meet Brock downstairs so he took the elevator down to the lobby, excited to see his friend.

“What the fuck are you wearing?” a voice startled him as he stepped into the lobby.

A man, most likely in his thirties, stared down at him, incredulous. His black hair was short and styled with gel and he wore a perfectly tailored beige suit with no tie.

Steve looked down at his own clothes and frowned. He was wearing a pair of jeans with a matching jacket and a light blue shirt.

He really liked this look and it was really popular, especially after the American Music Award where Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears showed up wearing matching denim outfits.

“Denim-on-denim?” Brock said with a smirk. “Trying to bring sexy back?”

Steve cocked his head to one side. Was that a reference to something? He had no idea. “Brock? That’s really you? Whoa, you’re old!”

Rolling his eyes, Brock turned on his heel. “Fuck off, Rogers.”

Brock was on his phone when the doorman opened the door for him. Steve trailed after Brock like a lost puppy and greeted the man at the door with a polite smile. The man looked at him incredulously before his face broke into a similar friendly smile.

“Where are we going?” Steve asked as they walked to the car parked in front of the building.

“Work, dude.”

“We work together?” Steve said excitedly. “That’s awesome! Okay, what do we do?”

Brock threw him a side glance. “I knew I should have stayed last night. The party must have been wild, you look so stoned. What’d take? Cocaine? Heroin? Meth?”

“What?! No, I don’t do drugs,” Steve objected.

“Yeah, right,” Brock scoffed, “me neither.”

It only took fifteen minutes to go from his apartment to his workplace in the garment district of Manhattan. Steve looked out the tinted window as the chauffeur pulled to the curb before a large mirrored-glass building.

His bodyguard opened the door and Steve slowly climbed out of the car, his eyes widening when he saw a plaque above the double doors that read ‘STEVE ROGERS HEADQUARTERS NYC’.

“Nice outfit, sir,” his bodyguard said, a smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

“Thanks,” Steve replied, still flabbergasted.

Brock rounded the vehicle and pulled Steve aside. When Steve continued to look around in wonder, Brock grabbed his shoulders and shook him once.

“Man, you gotta pull yourself together,” he whisper-shouted. “You’re a fucking fashion designer. You can’t enter this building looking like Justin fucking Timberlake on Prozac.”

Brock glanced around to make sure no one was listening and spotted paparazzi on the opposite side of the road. He moved in front of Steve to block their view.

“Here’s what you gonna do,” he continued. “You’re going to enter this building, drink a large fucking coffee and lock yourself in your office. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything, but you owe me big fucking time.”

Steve gave him a hard look. “You say the F-word like a lot.”

Brock sighed, his eyes never leaving Steve’s face. “Man, I don’t know what you took, but next time I want in.” He pulled him into a hug and patted his back. “Stay hydrated, ‘k?”

They entered the building together. There were a lot of people in the atrium; tall, skinny models who turned their heads when they recognized Steve and employees who watched him with a mixture of fright and admiration.

They seemed to move out of his way like he was Moses parting the Red Sea. Steve was too speechless and confused to focus on them. They took the private elevator and stood in silence while the elevator made its long ascent.

“I’m a fashion designer,” Steve spoke quietly, mostly to himself.

“Yup,” Brock mumbled as he pulled out his phone and started typing a text message. “Time’s person of the year in 2012 and 2017, youngest billionaire in the world and the wet of every boys and girls on this fucking planet.”

“I must be dreaming,” Steve said slowly as he processed what Brock had just said. “Ow!” he cried when he pinched the tender skin on his neck.

“Not dreaming,” he said, “now let’s go.”

Brock walked over to a woman with long golden hair. He leaned in and whispered something into her ear. She gave him a thumbs-up and turned to Steve with a bright smile.

“Oh, my God,” Steve cringed, looking for a place to hide. His employees were busy looking busy and didn’t pay attention to them.

Brock and the woman walked back to him. “Wanda’s gonna take care of you.”

Steve took Brock aside and explained that he woke up next to this Wanda girl just a few hours ago. Brock laughed and called Steve a ‘fucking stereotype’ before he headed toward his own office. Steve turned back to Wanda with an apologetic smile.

“Sorry about earlier,” he said. “So, um, who are you again?”

“Wanda Maximoff, your assistant for the past two years,” she replied with a frown. “You really scared us this morning. Mr Rumlow said you weren’t feeling well.”

Steve replied with a casual shrug while she led him to his office. She informed him that Brock had already transferred the files he needed for the meetings and that he was free for the rest of the day.

“Clint will drive you home when you’re ready, sir.”

“Ok, cool,” he replied.

Involuntarily, she let out a loud laugh as the words passed his lips. He was always so professional and stern, definitely not the kind of boss who treated their employees like family members.

But when he was not at work, he was completely different.

Wanda had run into him in a very select bar the night before. He had danced with her, offered her fruity cocktails and she had really liked the attention. When he invited her and her friend over to his apartment, they eagerly accepted the invitation.

“Oh, by the way,” she turned back to him and handed him his personal phone, “I took your phone by mistake this morning.”

“Oh.” He looked down at the rectangular device in his hand.

She left the room, closing the double doors behind her. Steve plopped down on one of the sofas in his office and took a good look around the room. One thing was for sure, his 30 year-old self was a materialistic person.

His office was a mess, which was strange since his apartment was absolutely spotless.

There were mannequins everywhere, sketches and pieces of fabric clipped onto wooden boards for future reference. He also had a large collection of fashion magazines, sharpies, pencils, erasers, rulers and sketch pads.

He sat in the comfortable leather chair at his desk and flipped through various files. He soon realized that work was his whole life and that he probably spent more time in his office than at home.

Steve loved to draw; it was his safe place. His mother didn’t make enough money to buy him GI Joe dolls or remote controlled cars, but she always came home with pens and scraps of paper stuffed in her bag.

He was looking at some of his drawings when an alarm on his phone went off. He had never owned a phone before, but Bucky’s mother had one –a Nokia 3310- and it didn’t look like this one at all.  He managed to turn the alarm off and read the reminder.

Chez Francis, 8PM

The computer on his desk was a lot thinner than what he used to use at the public library, but he recognized the Apple logo. He was relieved to see that Google was still a thing and after a quick search, he found the restaurant located in Greenwich Village.

Since he was technically allowed to leave, he asked his chauffeur-slash-bodyguard to drive him home. Clint was a quiet guy. He seemed nice, though a bit on the scary side.

Steve learned that he owned ten apartments in the tower; the penthouse, the first five floors, which were for his employees, and four others for his guests.

Like Uncle Scrooge, Steve was swimming in money.

But something was missing.

No one had mentioned his mom, you or Bucky and it was starting to stress him out. Plus, now, he had a dinner date with a mysterious guest. He could have bailed on them, but his mother had raised him better than that.

He arrived at the restaurant with ten minutes to spare and decided to stay outside while he waited for his guest. It seemed like a lovely place; French food, but not too pretentious. He hazarded a glance inside, but the lights were dimmed.

French food and dimmed lights? This wasn’t a casual evening, it was a date. A wave of nausea hit him and for a second he thought he might throw up. If he had a girlfriend, then he was the world’s shittiest boyfriend.

He woke up that morning with two naked women, neither of them seemed to be his partner. As a kid, he’d promised himself he’d treat his partners with respect, especially after his father left his mother for another woman.

His mother was his hero, but as far as he was concerned, his father could rot in hell.

Outside the sun had set and there was a distinct chill in the air. Steve tightened his coat around himself and looked around. There was a man, not far away, busy typing away on his phone.

He was tall, probably in his late twenties, and dressed smart casual. His shoulder length hair was tied up in a bun and he was wearing a long coat above a navy blue shirt.

“Bucky?!” Steve exclaimed, recognizing his best friend.

The man looked up from his phone with a frown and met Steve’s eyes. Steve’s face split into a wide smile as he walked over to him.

“I’m so glad to see you,” he said, pulling him into a hug. Bucky’s body was stiff, but Steve was too happy to notice that. “Look at us, all grown up and stuff!”

Bucky didn’t say a word, he pulled back quickly and smiled tightly at Steve who was still beaming.

“The craziest thing happened to me today,” Steve continued, undeterred. “You’re not going to believe this. When I woke up th-”

“I’m so sorry I’m late. It’s rush hour, I had to fight my way into the train,” you said breathlessly. You had seen someone with Bucky, but you only realized who it was when you turned to him. “Steve?”

“Hi,” Steve replied, looking down at his shoes.

The last time he’d seen you, you had run away after Brock asked you if you wanted to play Seven Minutes in Heaven with Steve. You had broken his heart that day. It might have been 17 years ago, but, to Steve, it was only yesterday.

“Are we waiting for someone else?” he asked.

Your eyes widened. “We?”

You and Bucky shared a look, the two of you had become masters in the art of silent communication. Bucky curled his arm around your waist and tucked you against his side. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed.

What?

No...

“Steve,” Bucky said after clearing his throat. “I don’t know who you’re meeting here, but it’s not us. We,” he paused briefly, “we haven’t seen you since high school.”

That comment made Steve’s head snap up. “High school? We’re not friends anymore?”

You were taken aback by his tone. It was pleading, almost childlike and it made your chest tighten. You had to remind yourself that this man, as nice as he was trying to be, wasn’t the sweet kid you used to know.

He was a celebrity, a billionaire and women threw themselves at his feet. He lived a scandalous life. He wasn’t your Steve.

A pretty blonde with long legs and a perfect white smile came up to them and kissed Steve on the cheek. She turned to you and Bucky and greeted you with a cheerful ‘hello’.

“Looks like you found your date,” Bucky told him watching you shake the blonde’s hand.

Steve caught the gleam of the solitaire on your ring finger. Caught off guard, he stared at you with a wounded look on his face. Bucky tightened his arm around your waist.

“You’re married.”

“Engaged,” you corrected, smiling at his date when she grabbed your hand and took a closer look at your engagement ring. She commented on how beautiful the ring was and you agreed, turning your head to smile at Bucky.

He shook his head, bashful, and kissed your temple. Steve was frozen, unable to look away and unable to close his eyes. His whole world came crashing down around him.

“We should go,” Bucky whispered into your ear as he linked his fingers with yours. He straightened up to look at Steve and his date. “It was nice seeing you. Enjoy your evening.”

“Likewise,” the woman said with a smile. “And congratulations.”

Steve cleared his throat. “Yes, congratulations.”

He watched you and Bucky enter the restaurant. A myriad of emotions washed over his face, none of them pleasant.

Be careful what you wish for...

Part 3

[theasstour]

Stave One: Niall’s Ghost.

STORY PAGE Word count: 6k

Pic credit: samcsch

A/N: HIYAA ANGELS ❣️ I’M SO EXCITED FOR THIS FIC *SCREAMS* !! hope you lot like the first chapter and i’ll see ya when you hit up my askbox bc !!!!!!!!!!! CHRISTMAS !!!!! anyway, enjoy and tune in next saturday for chapter 2!! ily x

Niall was dead, to begin with. There was no doubt about that. With him had gone a presence of warmness, a glow of hope that Harry only knew and associated with his best friend and better half. Within him was a hollow space, right in his chest and a little to the left, where he felt like no pulse could reach; no warmth could roam; where he had once imagined something beating to keep him alive, but having stopped at the news of Niall’s death. There was no other way to explain it, but Harry felt like the last year had gone by in one big blur, an everlasting haze that he didn’t know how to trance himself out of. All because he had been alone. Utterly and completely alone. And it was all his own fault.

Last Christmas Eve, his best friend, and only friend, in the whole entire world died. Niall had only been 26, but the ice on the road he was driving was new, and he had lost control completely, crashing front first into a trailer driving in the opposite direction. Harry still remembered the very moment he got told about Niall, how he had gone home to his London house, not leaving it until he was forced out by his little brother. Life ever since had felt bitter, the world seemingly actively working against Harry in every aspect.

This Christmas Eve, Harry was working in the ground store shop of the Dymond headquarters. Harry was the co-founder, now only living founder, of the best-selling guitar brand in the world. Him and Niall had started it five years ago, when they were both 21, and it had skyrocketed faster than either anticipated. Big rockstars were using Dymond guitars, promoting and thanking Niall and Harry for making them personalised guitars. The overwhelming success and wealth that had come with the band had shocked the best friends, but neither had complained. This was everything they had wanted after all, but now it was only Harry living his and Niall’s shared dream. And it felt wrong doing it without his best friend.

Further down the shop, Y/N stood noting the sales of different guitars that day, writing it down in the little notepad she kept with her wherever she went. Guitars lined three out of four walls of the store, as well as three aisles down the middle where you could find everything you needed to keep your guitar at its best. Y/N knew every single little corner of this shop, knew where everything went and how to work her way around the cashier. She had worked at Dymond as Niall and Harry’s assistant for four years now, having been on their every call ever since, never calling in sick or having been late. A dream assistant and doing nothing but her absolute best at all times. There was a liberty to her job, a sense of being needed, that had Y/N had found quite nice. It was good to feel like you somehow belonged somewhere without needing to be related to any of the people around you. She had fit right in. But there had always been that one part about this job that she had not liked, and that was Harry.

Lone description of a vitriolic and virulent human being, concept of kindness and warmth lost on him, especially after Niall’s death. But before Christmas Eve a year ago, Harry wasn’t so bad. Moments would come when he’d show the human in him, where he’d let himself smile at Y/N, or when they’d share a moment behind closed doors that would have everything Y/N thought of Harry questioned. The occurrences had become rarer as the years had gone on, but Y/N still remembered when she’d first started working for him and he’d look at her a little longer than appropriate for her boss, and she found herself blushing afterwards, Harry smiling to himself, too. Odd how people you once were so infatuated with and admired, are now people you can’t stand to be in the same room as. Y/N couldn’t tell a living soul why she was still in love with Harry; couldn’t tell anyone why she felt the way she did, or why she, after four years, hadn’t told him yet. Suppose it was the fear of rejection, of having him never take her seriously again, of losing her job.

Being in love with her boss had caused her more trouble than it had good, and she knew the moment she started catching feelings for him all those years ago, that it wouldn’t end pretty. And it really hadn’t. Because now she was standing in the opposite end of the room to him, and it didn’t feel like far enough away. She wanted to get out of the shop, out where she could breathe fresh air and not one infused with old memories and words left unsaid. She wanted to get away from him; away from a person she knew she’d never have; knew would never feel the same way about her. She wanted to get away from him, out of the same room as him, because the reason she wanted to escape Harry was because she still longed to be close to him. Still longed for him to hold her, to care for her and love her like she loved and cared for him. And it was because of all of this that she wanted to quit. Not only that, but Harry had forced her to work Christmas Eve, even though, all three Christmases she had worked at Dymond before, they’d never been open on Christmas Eve. Harry knew that Y/N loved Christmas, she had always been vocal about her love for the festive holiday, but Harry hadn’t seemed to care much about her wanting to head down south to her family in Plymouth today. Hadn’t seemed to care that she had a life outside work, which it seemed he had forgotten all year because he constantly kept her working, even when she had nothing in particular to be doing.

So, Y/N stood there taking notes in her little notepad, thinking about how much she’d rather be in Plymouth with her family, and how she would quit her job after the holidays. The thought made her both happy and sad at the same time.

Harry stood behind the cashier, reading through his e-mails and trying not to care about the lack of people out now that the eve of Christmas Eve was getting closer. A light snow fall was descending outside, crystals of iced rain lowering towards the ground with angelic delicacy, coating London in an even thicker layer of snow than the slight one that had come some days prior. Lights hung on the buildings around the Dymond headquarters, all shop windows decorated for the holiday. London at Christmas was a sort of carnival. The whole city was transformed into a halo of light, snowflakes, and choirs singing praises of Christmas and Christ, creating an atmosphere that was supposed to be associated with excitement.

But Harry never felt the excitement for Christmas. Maybe this was because he didn’t have anyone to spend it with. Or maybe it was because the Christmases he had, they’d all ended up disastrous. Niall had always spent his Christmases with his family, and even though he was invited over every year, Harry had always said no. Some days later, Niall would be back in London with Harry, sleeping in the guest bedroom he had claimed as his own, and the two would spend the following days doing nothing. Even though Niall had done things that would tick Harry off, like always leaving the microwave open after he had used it, or leave the light in the guest bedroom on, Harry appreciated those nights Niall had wanted to spend with him. As much as Harry enjoyed his own company, he had enjoyed Niall’s more.

Harry flinched when the automatic doors opened, a cold gust of December wind blowing past him and making him shiver. Looking up, Harry flinched once more, standing up straight as his little brother stretched his arms out, grinning from ear to ear.

“Merry Christmas, Harry!”

“Fuck off.”

Reuben, two years younger than his big brother of 26, laughed and walked over to the counter, taking his beanie and gloves off. Just like Harry, Reuben had brown curly hair, a tall figure, and deep dimples in each cheek. But unlike Harry, Reuben had brown eyes, the exact same their mother had had, and a kindness and humour standing in such contrast to Harry’s that neither of them could ever imagine actually being related. Their facial features weren’t that similar either, as Harry had taken more after their mother’s delicate and round forms, while Reuben’s consisted of sharp, elegant lines like their father. But regardless of their differences, Reuben had tried for years now to get on with Harry, to understand him, but it was always in vain. He never knew why he kept trying, but there was a sliver of faith inside him that told him to not give up on Harry, and so he never had. They were brothers after all. “What’re you up to? You’re never open on Christmas Eve.”

“Decided that we were open this year.” Harry said, closing his laptop. “What are you doing here?”

Reuben’s face fell a little, but he tried to compose himself. It always shocked him just how unhappy his big brother was. “To wish you a happy Christmas.”

Harry huffed. “Fucking humbug.”

“No, I’m serious!” Reuben frowned, leaning his elbows on the counter. “I wanted to come here and wish you a happy Christmas. It’s so lovely out now.” He looked out the glass doors, and the windows that stretched out across the front of the store, from floor to ceiling. “The snow is light, it isn’t too cold, the Christmas lights are spectacular.” Reuben smiled, looking back at his brother. “Regent Street is absolutely amazing, have you been there in December?”

“No.”

“Well, you should really go-“

“-Reuben, I’m at work.” Harry sighed, crossing his arms over his chest and watching his little brother intently. “You’re distracting me while I’m working.”

This had Reuben standing upright again, holding onto his gloves and beanie tightly and trying to compose himself; trying not to lash out at Harry. “I’m also here to ask you something.”

Harry nodded for Reuben to continue.

“Would you come to Christmas Dinner?”

A memory flashed in Harry’s mind just then, a reminder to never let it be repeated ever again. A reminder to keep himself at a distance. Swallowing thickly, Harry opened his laptop again, trying to busy himself with something other than his brother before him.

“Don’t think it’s a good idea, Reuben.”

“Don’t care what dad has to say about it, Harry, I want my brother there.” The underlying heartache and longing in Reuben’s voice almost made Harry look up at his brother again, just to make sure he wouldn’t hurt him when he said what the had to say next.

“But I don’t want to be there, Reuben.”

“Yes, you do.” Sighing, the younger sibling pulled and tightened his grip on his gloves. “You do want to be there, I know you well enough to know that you want someone around on Christmas Day.”

Harry sighed again.

“And tonight. Come tonight. We’re staying around mine. It’s just the family.” Reuben tried, looking hopeful as Harry hadn’t interrupted him yet. “Cousins mostly, and aunt Camilla and uncle Phil.” Reuben paused a little. “Dad.”

“No.” Harry – who had almost considered coming to Reuben’s Christmas Eve at his semi-detached house in Camden - continued to look through his e-mails, even though he had answered all he needed to. “Absolutely not.”

“He won’t bother you, Harry.”

“I’m not going.”

“Harry, please-“

“-No, Reuben.” Harry looked at him then, the stern furrow to his brow taking away most of the handsomeness about him. “No.”

Reuben took a step away from the counter, taking his beanie on his head while sighing exasperatingly. Shoving his hands into the two gloves, Reuben opened his mouth, “Hope you have a happy Christmas no matter where you choose to spend it.”

Harry stayed silent, watching his brother turn away from him without a second glance. Reuben lifted a hand in Y/N’s direction, giving her a dimpled smile as he walked toward the door.

“Merry Christmas, Y/N. Don’t let the spirits of this one get you down, yea?” Reuben pointed over his shoulder at Harry and Y/N smiled.

“Merry Christmas, Reuben. I’ll try my very best.”

“And have fun down south with your family.” The automatic doors opened as he neared the exit, still smiling at his brother’s assistant.

“Thanks, have fun tonight with your family, as well.”

Reuben waved, and Y/N waved back, smiling as she watched Harry’s younger brother disappear into the fog of the snow. She went back to writing in her notepad, scribbling away at things she needed to remember for later.

“You’re going to Plymouth?”

Y/N almost jumped at the sound of Harry’s voice, not expecting him to talk to her. She looked over her shoulder, blinking a couple of times as her eyes met Harry’s. A phenomenon resembling that of enclosing your hands around a warm mug of hot chocolate, of feeling its effect as your fingers prickle with warmth; a thrill like that ran through Y/N. Y/N couldn’t remember last time her and Harry had shared a look quite like this, where both parts were equally as invested in the other, where both were transparent.

“Yes.” She answered, voice low. Clearing her throat, she continued, “Leaving later tonight from Paddington.”

Harry seemed to be mulling over this, and Y/N didn’t know what to. Every minute of every day she longed for Harry to look at her; look at her the way he had that period when they’d first met and started to know one another. When Harry hadn’t been as cold as he was now. But before Y/N could savour the moment, bathe in the bliss of Harry’s gaze on her, the automatic doors opened again.

“Hi,” A middle-aged man said, out of breath as he walked up to the cashier and to Harry. “Please, you’re the only store open that sell musical instruments, and I really, really need your help.”

Harry pretended to have been focusing on someone on his laptop, and, uninterested, looked up at the man heaving for breath across the counter.

“Yes?”

“My son,” The man started, swallowing thickly before he smiled. “He wants a guitar for Christmas.”

“There’s a toy store across the street.”

“No, he wants a real guitar.” The man said, sounding proud. His smile vanished as he continued. “Thing is… since it’s the holiday season, me and my husband are running low on money.”

Harry just stared at the man, not knowing what he was getting at.

“And I don’t have enough money on me right now, but I’ll leave all my card details, e-mail, phone number and address with you so you can get in contact with me about the payment. I’ll pay some in advance now, but-“

“-No.”

The man blinked. “No?”

“No.”

“You… won’t take payment in advance?”

“I won’t give you a guitar unless you can pay everything here and now.”

Flabbergasted, the man’s mouth fell open. “Sir, I… I don’t…”

“You don’t…?”

“My son just wants a guitar.”

“And I’m trying to run a business. By giving you a guitar for your son, I’ll go in debt.”

The man took a step back, feeling disgusted by Harry. “Go in debt?”

“I own Dymond, and I won’t give you any guitar unless you have the money for it.” Harry closed his laptop. “No matter if it’s a present for your son for Christmas or for yourself. Whatever it’s used for or whoever uses it, it all looks the same in my bank account.”

The man let out a bitter laugh, dragging is beanie over his ears and talking with pulling his gloves on. “Not even for Christmas? You won’t even consider it?”

Harry didn’t answer, he just stared at the man until he huffed out a sickened breath, and then stormed straight out of the shop.

At 14:30, Harry and Y/N closed the shop, Harry walking some metres behind Y/N as they made their ways to each their parked car on the side of the road further up the street. Snow was still falling, now thicker than before, and the yellow streetlights looked hidden almost, as a single flickering candle inside the grandest of snow lanterns. Y/N opened the door of her car, about to get in when she looked back at Harry. She caught him looking around, blinking rapidly as a snowflake landed on his eyelashes. Moments like these, when Harry wasn’t being watched, it was almost as if you could imagine him not being a horrible person. And Y/N hated herself for thinking that.

Harry opened his car at last.

“Merry Christmas, Harry.” Y/N blurted out, soft and urgent.

Harry looked up, seemingly taken aback by Y/N’s sudden utterance. Straightening from his hunched positioned as he was about to get into his car, Harry just looked over at Y/N, unsure of what to say or do. The sound of her voice alone took him back to a simpler time; to a time where all he knew was that he would fall in love with her in due time; to a time where he was fine with that. But now all he could think about, all he could feel pressing down on him, were the opportunities lost; how his life could’ve been. So, as he looked into Y/N’s eyes, snowflakes landing in his dark hair and on his heavy shoulders, he didn’t know what to say. Her eyes that he had stared into so many times before, that he had fallen into and let haunt him, were waiting for an indication of any kind that he’d respond. Y/N wanted Harry to answer her, to give her back what she had given him.

But he couldn’t. So, he opened the car door wider, and got inside. Y/N watched as he closed it, feeling every hope of ever getting anything remotely close to closure for everything Harry and her had been through these last four years, leave her completely. This was the last straw. On Boing Day, Y/N would quit her job at Dymond, and leave Harry Styles behind for good.

¤ ¤ ¤

Harry closed the door into his London house, a huge detached white house with three floors, his front door a stark red and his front garden well-kept due to his weekly gardener. One pillar stood on each side of said door, the small roof above them shielding Harry and his grocery bag from the downpour of snow. The inside of the huge North Chelsea house was almost as cold as the winter night outside, but nowhere near as dark. As the door closed behind Harry, he struggled to light the lamp on the table out in the foyer, grumbling to himself before he finally found it and switched it on. He walked into his kitchen where he didn’t bother lighting the room as the streetlights outside did it well enough for him. Putting his Marks and Spencer bag on the kitchen island, he took his microwaveable Beef Roast out along with the wine he thought he’d treat himself to. He placed the wine in the fridge, noting how he didn’t really have anything he could use for dinner the following day. Grumbling some swear words under his breath once again, he wrote it down in the notepad on his phone before closing the fridge. He took the frozen dinner out of its package, following the instructions for how he was supposed to ready the meal. After he had memorised how, he threw the packaging away, grabbed his food and walked over to his microwave where he stopped.

Harry had known Niall for so many years that he had lost count. Over all those years he had picked up on a couple of traits and things Niall did that annoyed him. For example, Niall would always make a moustache out of the beer head when they were out for drinks, or he’d always sign his name with a little smiley behind it, even on serious business contracts. Sometimes, when he liked an idea that had been suggested in a meeting, he’d said “Hashtag amazing” or “I’m shook”, phrases that had Harry cringing and Niall howling with laughter. Or he’d always leave the light in the guest bedroom on after he stayed over for the night. One of the most annoying ones, however, was when, after Niall had made himself dinner or popcorn at Harry’s, he’d leave the microwave door open. Harry had always nagged at Niall to just shut it, it would take him one extra second, but Niall just smiled and said “But that’s one more second I’m not spending with you, mate”.

The microwave door was open. Harry never left it open. Never once in his life had he left it open. He would have remembered if he did. He looked around him, trying to notice if any other items in his kitchen could indicate a burglar. But the room was neat, nothing amiss or disturbed. So, his mind racing a hundred miles an hour, Harry opened the door wider and placed his food inside, closing the door and putting the timer on. It dinged when it was done, Harry having watched the snow fall outside, now lighter than it had been before. Trying not to let his mind race off to Paddington Station where Y/N would be heading as he was eating his meal just now. He sighed, taking a fork, knife, and wine with him before he left the kitchen, turned the lights in the foyer off, and started walking up the stairs, his room the second on the left. The grey walls of his house were bare, no pictures of family or paintings he had bought at expensive auctions. Harry thought of his house as a place where he rested, not as something of his own. It was rather somewhere he charged his batteries, somewhere he would spend his nights and mornings, but not his preferred place to be. His mum would always decorate their house, a woman crazy about Christmas and her family, but Harry had never been like that. During his childhood he’d enjoyed the interior and decorations of their North London house, but he would never take the initiative himself to do s his mother. By this point, Harry didn’t care how bare his house was, as long as it was nice and as long as it was quiet, he was happy.

The first door on the left when you came walking up the stairs of Harry’s house was the guest bedroom, the neighbouring room to Harry’s. It was slightly smaller than his, the walk-in closet that came with the major room of the house not part of the guest room. Niall, who had been the only one to ever stay in there, never minded, though. He could stay in the same clothes for days, and if he wanted to change, he’d just steal something from Harry. Harry had never minded this. In fact, if Niall smelled bad, Harry encouraged him to shower and borrow some of his clothes. What he didn’t encourage however, was to keep the lights on when he didn’t need them to be, like when he wasn’t in the room. Niall never listened and always forgot to turn the lights off, especially the guest bedroom.

By the small slit at the very bottom of the door, a small line of yellow light shone. The only light in the whole entire house. Using his elbow as his hands were full, Harry opened the door into the room, looking around it. No sign of anyone ever having been in there showed, and Harry was fearing he might have gone mad. Was he doing all of this unconsciously because he missed Niall so much? Especially now, on Christmas Eve, exactly a year since his best friend’s passing? He shook his head, blinking frantically to himself, trying to check if he was still awake or if he was asleep and this was some kind of weird lucid dream. Quickly, Harry turned the lights out and slammed the door shut, not knowing what kind of bloody prank this was, but he did not appreciate it.

His bedroom was cold, the window having been open all day, and he closed it after putting his dinner down on the small coffee table between the two red recliners. A huge fireplace stood before them, his bed by further back, place parallel to the chairs and the window. Hunching down, Harry put three logs in the fireplace and started it up, using some time to get the fire going before he stood up again. He sighed, the sound of the fire taking over the logs, burning its surface and warming his bedroom soothing to him. Sitting down in the recliner closest to the door, the one he always sat in, he reached over for his dinner.

“Bit of a sad Christmas dinner, isn’t it?”

Harry looked over at the other recliner, greeted by the slightly transparent and white image of his best friend.

He screamed. Jumping up from his recliner and backing away, heart racing and hands searching for the wall he wanted to stand against. If he was next to the wall, if he felt something solid, then his crazed mind would stop playing tricks on him. Then all of this would be over. Then he would stop seeing the microwave door open. Then he would stop imagining the light in the guest room being on. Then he would stop fantasising his best friend alive and sitting there in the other recliner. Where he always used to sit before. When everything was okay.

“You’ve never been this happy to see me before?” Niall said, chuckling a little.

Harry felt sick to his stomach. This couldn’t be real. Niall was dead. He had been dead for a year now. He was going crazy. That was it. That was why. Because Niall couldn’t be here. That wouldn’t make sense. Because Niall was dead. Dead. Harry had seen him when he was buried.

Niall chuckled again, louder and longer this time. And it sounded so real that Harry, for a split second, thought this was real. Harry couldn’t help himself as he uttered a faint, “Ni-… Ni-Niall?”

“My name, yes.” Niall – that was 100% all made up and formed in Harry’s head, no other explanation - said, nodding his head and resting his hands on his knees. “Sounds nice when you say it like that. Makes me feel special.”

Harry started breathing faster, rage filling him up. He was mad at himself for doing this to himself; mad at the world for taking Niall away from him; mad at everything. Brows furrowing and forehead wrinkling, Harry watched as a smile formed on Niall’s lips.

“What…. What the fuck is this? What… You’re dead!”

“Yea, I am.” Niall nodded again, looking over at the fire in the fireplace. “I’m a ghost now.”

Harry – fed up with himself for all of this, for causing himself more main on the anniversary of Niall’s passing – scoffed. “Fucking humbug.”

Niall roared with laughter, always having found it funny beyond belief when Harry said that.

“I’m going crazy.” Harry mumbled to himself, looking down at the floor. Thinking that might help, not looking at Niall. “That’s it. That’s why. Niall’s not here, you’re just going crazy, Harry.”

“As cute as it is to see you all freaked out like this, I can’t stay for long. I’m here to warn you.”

Harry looked up again, the frown that had covered his forehead earlier back again. Confusion filled him, min running marathons as he tried to figure out what his own brain wanted to warn him of. That was why he was imagining Niall, right? He was talking to himself?

“You’re dead!” Harry shouted, feeling his fingertips prickle a little with fear as the image of Niall wavered, going in and out of focus. “You’re not real!” Nails start to claw against the wall at his back, eyes searching Niall and his surroundings for some kind of explanation for all of this. “Dead. You died a year ago.”

“And now I’m here to warn you, Harry. You need to listen to me.” Niall got up from the recliner, seemingly struggling a little but regaining his balance and posture. Screwing up his face, Niall rolled his shoulders like he was stiff, and was about to take a step toward Harry.

Harry threw his arm out in front of him, trying to keep Niall at bay. “Stay there! Don’t come any bloody closer to me!”

“Harry-“

“-You’re fucking dead, Niall!”

“Harry, listen to me!”

Harry’s arm was shaking, petrified out of his own mind as he watched Niall just stand there, sighing. Nothing of this made any sense, because Harry was desperately trying to make some sense of all of this. But try as he might, there was no sense in any of it, no rational cause for any of it.

“If this scares you, you’re going to piss yourself when the three spirits of Christmas arrives in an hour.”

Harry blinked. “Three spirits of Christmas?”

“Yes, Harry, the three spirits of Christmas. Know why they’re coming?”

Harry couldn’t so anything but stare at the supposed manifestation of Niall in front of him.

“Because you’ve been a right bellend, and they’re here to make you change that.”

“Thanks for that, Niall.” Harry grumbled. Niall from his imagination or the real one, that still stung.

“Harry, you have been miserable for as long as I’ve known you. They’re coming to show you that you don’t have to be.” Niall explained. “That you deserve happiness, regardless of what you might think. Life is much simpler if you allow yourself to love and be loved.”

Harry huffed. “And good luck with that.”

Niall nodded, resting his hands on his hips. “That’s what I told them as well, but they’re still coming.”

Harry lowered the hand he was still holding up, trusting made up Niall not to come any closer. He still thought this was all in his head, or a very weird dream. “You’ve… met them?”

“Yea, legends the lot of them.” Niall grew serious again, a change Harry had seen a lot over the years. Niall would first stare at you, and then to the right of you, look down at the floor, then let go of a huge sigh. “Harry, look, they’re here for a purpose. Don’t ruin it.”

“Why are they here?” Harry asked. “How would I ruin it?”

Slowly, Niall turned and started walking toward the window. Harry threw up his arm again, wishing he could sink into the wall and into he guest bedroom, away from all of this. Niall’s steps were silent, like he weighed nothing. And, though he had been a very small bloke when he was alive, he always walked with his heels first, making the rooms on the second and third level of Harry’s house shake.

“Come here, mate.” Niall said, looking over his shoulder at Harry.

Reluctantly, Harry does and looks outside like Niall does. That’s when he smells it; the awful stench that has to come from the manifestation beside him. Niall smelled like burnt corpse; like a week’s old, rotting corpse that had been thrown into a bonfire to perish; to disappear forever. The foul smell makes its way into Harry’s nose trills, clawing its way down his throat and clinging to the back of his tongue, making him want to be sick. Finally, Harry takes the time to look outside after getting over the shock of Niall’s smell. Outside, flying over the streets of London and walking about the quiet, snow-covered streets, are green apparitions that can be explained as nothing short of ghosts. All of them ear metal weights, some more than others, and the smell that came from Niall is nothing compared to this one. These are corpses and nothing but. Skin is missing on some of them, others are bleeding, and the really old ones have arms or legs or other parts of their body showing as skeleton alone. Harry can feel the very soul of him shaking, needing to get out and away from this sight before him.

“Know why I don’t bear the weights of my misbehavings?” Niall asked Harry, looking over at the friend to his right. “Because I’ve been a good boy.”

“Piss off.”

“No, Harry, all those people you see here have done about their lives being miserable twats, and they get paid for that by walking around eternity bearing the weight of all their wrong doings. Do you want that to be you?”

Harry only looked at the ghosts outside, catching sight of a woman screaming in agony as one of the weights tore into her skin. Blood pouring down her arm, dripping off her fingers, falling to some unknown destiny.

“Then don’t fuck this up.” Niall said, sounding stern. Like he wanted for nothing but to have Harry listen to him and believe him. Harry bit his bottom lip, tearing his eyes away from the woman he had been watching. Harry felt Niall sigh and straighten up. “And while I’m here, please just… tell Y/N you love her?”

Harry’s head whipped in Niall’s direction, seeing his friend’s apparition this close made everything realer than he wanted it to be. He took a step back. “What? I-“

“-You have loved her for four years now, Harry. Stop treating her like shit.” Niall said, taking a good look at Harry before he gave him a little smile. “Stop not allowing yourself to live.”

Harry swallowed thickly, not knowing what Niall wanted him to say now.

“Good luck, mate. I’ll see you some other day.”

And just like that, Niall flew off through the open window, Harry just barely making him out as he zig-zagged his way through the ghosts of London. Harry suddenly heard the agonising wails of the tortured ghosts even louder then, fearing his own hearing as they continued and continued to screech and cry and yelp.

“Niall!” Harry shouted, trying to make his deceased friend out among the dead. “Niall!” Harry shouted, desperate to see his friend and get some answered. He had so many questions, he needed Niall to answer them. “Niall!” Harry tried again, but to no use. With huge force, Harry shut the window of his bedroom, the ghosts outside suddenly disappearing, and so did the wails. Harry blinked, shaking his head as the suddenness by which it all vanished stunned him. His heart was still beating fast, his pulse sounding in his ears. To try and calm himself down, Harry walked over to his recliner and sat down. Right away, he started thinking about what this all meant, why this was all happening, and if this was all even real. No matter, he was terrified of the clock striking 17:00, when Niall said the spirits of Christmas would arrive. Harry took his now lukewarm dinner and his fork with shaky hands, eyes falling on the clock above the fireplace.

16:13.

TAGLIST

@my--heroine @harrysembrace @emotionally-imbruised @harolofthebells @beksjewels @quitten @lizziespidiepridie @jaasminelake @miss-nxvxcaine @napsnnarry @teenagewitchbitch @busstop @onlystylesangels

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[boymeetsweevil]

THANK YOU

I’m just crying no big deal thank you for being so kind i’m gonna go curl up a d*e now :’)

HONEYYYYY 💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU!!! For Science was beautiful and I loved every bit of it. Bot matter the wait, its completely worth it because you put so much thought into it. The ending was so nice and im so happy for oc and kookie. Please keep up with your amazing writing love ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i just read fs7 for a second time (bc yes i had to read it twice to fully take it in) and oh my god it’s so amazing 😭😭 you really outdid yourself w this series. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read through it all and i love it even more every time i do. you’re such a talented writer honestly thank you so much for gifting us this fic ❤️

The ending to FS was so authentic!! Awkward and mushy and funny and hot! You really did their relationship justice. Thank you for putting in so much work I'm so happy the series ended this way. You're amazing!

FS7 was a fuckin ride and it was everything I could’ve wanted and more 😫💘 it was amazing like I honestly can’t put into words how satisfying it was but I was smiling sm while reading 🤧 you’re so talented thank you for writing this masterpiece!! FS FINALEEEE IM CRYINGGGGG UWUUUUUUUUU

haaaaaaiiiii just wanna say those 27k words of amazingness was SO worth the wait! thank you so much for the FS series, you did great and can't wait to read more stories from you <33

The last part of for science ahhhhh I screamed! I loved and missed the whole friend group and you put so many funny one liners your dialogue is so natural and entertaining

FS! Oh man where do I start... it was so so so sososososooooo good!!! THE WHOLE SERIES IS JUST SOOOO GOOD. THEY WAY U WRITE IS SO FREAKING WONDERFUL. The scenarios aren’t cheesy or too overtop, the feelings and everything are just sooo realllll. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE JUST SO WELL CONSTRUCTED ARGHHH. Freaking Jungkook and his Captain America crush, same JK I love Chris Pratt and his ass too. So sad that FS has come to and end but it was the perfect finale. I LOVE YOU ❤️ The way i cried, laughed, and just the overjoy from FS 7 i swear to god i hate ending something so wonderful i get a lil disappointed going back to my regular life and not living thru this amazing art thank you for this series i loved it!! I just reread your entire FS series again and the ending was so sweet 😭😭 thank you so much for sharing ur writing!! I also really liked how everyone’s friendship developed in FS7

I just finished FS and I loved it! Awesome job ✌🏼 I love your writing style. It’s not try hard but it’s also not boring lol idk how to explain it but it’s captivating. I’m excited for your future works if you plan on continuing to write 💜 Also, good luck on finals! wahhhhhhhhhh that ending was PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! i am so so happy but also so so sad to say goodbye to these characters. i'm gonna miss fs!jungkook so much!!!!!! :(( thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!!

OH NO WHEN DID YOU POST THAT FINALE :((((( I LITERALLY LOVE IT!!!! THE WHOLE GROUP IS BACK AND JUNGKOOK STOPPED BEING A COWARD CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?????? I AM SO HAPPY 🥺 When I started reading this, it only had 3 released parts, and now it’s done :(((( i’ll miss you clowning FS jk!!

i've waited a full day to really formulate my thots on the finale of fs... and damn bitch u KILLED me I LOVED ALL OF IT THANK U FOR WRITING ALL THAT BC REALLY? WHAT A FUCKING TRIP THIS HAS BEEN love u forever and ever and ever and am so blessed that u share ur work with lil ol me!! love u to the moon and back <3 u deserve all the good things life has to offer you ! -- crack cocaine anon

I wish I could give you better feedback dissecting every. little. bit. of For Science and how I thoroughly enjoyed the entire series but it's coming out as word vomit lol. I absolutely cackled at the sex Pavlov'd and watermelon slapping. Yoori was fantastic as always ("one day I'm going to get a fresh manicure just so my hands look good when I finally smack the shit out of him." Beautiful) and I just love the group dynamics as a whole. They remind me of my friends :( And the main couple,their whole sometimes-awkward-and-painful process of working things out and then slowly, naturally falling (back?) into love hit me in all the best ways. Overall 10/10, will definitely read this again and anything else you write <3

wow you really snapped with that ending for FS huh i’m- wow seriously one of the best writers ever I feel happy and sad now that FS has ended. Happy because I feel like it was the perfect ending to an amazing series and sad because we have to say goodbye to all these amazing /funny/cray cray characters. You are an amazing writer and I hope we get the chance to read more of your stuff in the future!

I am actually devastated high crying that FS is over. I invested so much EMOTION. Bless your soul. FS finale is amazing. you wrote beautifully and progressed the plot at an anticipating rate. i loved it!!! wondering, did you go off of any certain real life jk looks for his platinum hair, piercings and no glasses? and the ripped jeans...... if u did please post them i wanna see!!!! (ANON, unfortunately I couldn’t find a pic with all of those in one, but there’s this edit and this outfit)

Just needed to let u kno that FS is a masterpiece and i loved it so so so much~ its def my fave fic i've ever read and i love your characterization! Im sad its over but ahhhhh it was so good and i wanna say thanks for writing it - 💖🐰

For science was amazing, I want to congratulate you for writing such a beautiful story for us!!!! Really!!! thank you!!!! for the time and effort bc your fic is genuinely one of the best I've ever read!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ jesus, i cannot express to you how much I love FS, it was everything i want in a story like it took ages to read but yet it felt like minutes and when i was done i was heartbroken that i’ll never see the characters again, i can really relate a lot of the characters to some of my own friends and i love that despite finding it strange, when i was reading it i found myself laughing out loud at the jokes and cringing at overly handsy jk, your writing is top tier and i’m going to miss FS so much

my heart is swelling while reading the last chapter of fs. It’s been a wild ride and I’m so happy to b part of it!!!!!! Thank u for writing such an amazing story

[6lueshift]

Things better left unsaid

Before I start I wanted to apologize if they sound too ooc, it was my very first DX fanfic, I did it /for/ Christmas, got frustrated, gave up, but hhh it’s here for anyone who‘s interested :|

As usual there’s a pic at the end, bc I can’t write without drawing, so

I also apologize for the lack of digital content lately, I’m moving so I don’t actually have a desk to place my tablet rn etc etc have fun

—

It was Christmas Eve at Sarif Industries and, as usual, the employees were split into two groups, the ones who would take the Christmas break and the ones who would wait a little bit further and go for the New Year’s break. The Christmas group would have to work on the New Year’s Eve, and vice-versa.

Jensen had actually no preferences, but since last year he took the Christmas break to spend the night with Megan, this year he just wasn’t in the mood, at all, not after what happened to him, to Megan. But he also didn’t want to spend his Christmas Eve alone in his apartment, bringing back memories of moments that would never return.

Just as last year, Sarif would leave a gift on the desk of each employee. A thin ornate box, covered in a cliché, red and green, paper. Just a small memento, probably another desk gadget, like a classy pen with Adam’s name carved on it, or something like that.

Even so, that wasn’t the only gift Adam got from his boss. Sarif himself showed up at Jensen’s office earlier the day and gave him a nice and old whiskey, that rather felt like an apology. He patted Jensen on the shoulder, with his usual nod followed by ‘son’, and left.

And still, those weren’t the only gifts he have received either. There were greeting cards, more boxes, some smaller and some larger... He felt like people actually enjoyed his presence, maybe they even liked it, or maybe he just took a lot of butts out of the line, and that — somehow — was his payment. He smirked shortly at the thought.

He felt like stretching a little, since he finally managed to clean his inbox. Jensen got up, only to notice that his limbs didn’t crack as they usually did back then, heh, having no bones and actual joints made things... boring. He remembered Megan rolling her eyes whenever he would start cracking his knuckles, ‘Jesus, Adam, that will pay off later, you know, right?’, how he wished she was right.

...

Two hours passed, and Jensen noticed a notification pop-up on his computer screen. ‘You have 1 new message(s)’, it said. The subject said ‘Merry Christmas’, he gave it a click.

‘Good evening,

I wish you all a wonderful Christmas, it is always a pleasure to work with you.

Merry Christmas everyone.

Regards,

Frank Pritchard, Sarif Industries Chief of Cyber-Security’

Oh. Jensen rapidly checked the digital clock, it marked five, six, minutes past midnight, officially Christmas. And Pritchard? Late. Five minutes late. Adam smirked quickly. The all mighty Pritchard didn’t seem to be that perfect, and now Jensen had an excuse to strike back the colleague’s incessant bickering. ‘Oh, really, Pritchard? At least I know how to program a message to be sent in the right time, and I didn’t have to spend my life in front of a computer screen to learn that. I’m talking about your late Christmas message, what a shame coming from our remarkable tech.’

It was all about bickering and he knew that, he refused to act like that in front of a kid, but not in front of Pritchard.

someone’s late for the party|

He typed and sent it without thinking twice, relaxing on his chair. That made him realize that not only he stayed for the Christmas Eve, but also did the tech. Jensen actually didn’t think of the colleague as a Christmas person, left alone a religious one, Pritchard was probably sending those due to the circumstances, it was Christmas and... he didn’t want to sound insensitive, although the tech’s e-mails always spread that same rough atmosphere.

That made Jensen realize that eight minutes have passed and, for his surprise, the tech was still silent, Pritchard usually answers his e-mails very quickly, paranoia? Probably.

‘K, you know what? It was pretty much boring at his office right now, just staring at an empty screen under half-lights... Maybe he could use some fresh air, go to the bar downstairs, see if he could use a drink or two. It was Christmas for fuck’s sake.

Jensen then took the stairs, reaching for the first floor, the chitchat coming from the hall was a lot louder there. Apparently he wasn’t the only one with a break desire after all.

He finally made to the bar close to the helipad, it was crowded with people. Such dedicated employees you have there, Sarif. ‘Merry Christmas’ he heard here and there, he’d wave and nod in response. Fuck. He forgot to bring some credit chip with him, the bar was cool and all that but still he had to pay to drink.

And back up to his office he went. He soon grabbed two credit chips he found there, he couldn’t actually remember the amount of credit he had left inside those. He also took the time to check his e-mails. Still no sign of the tech.

Just after leaving his office, his eyes stopped on Sarif’s whiskey. He let out a sigh at the unexpected thought, grabbing that damn bottle. It was supposed to be mine, he thought to himself, closing the door behind his back.

Just a level below, Adam wandered through the corridor, till his gaze stopped over the words ‘Tech Lab’. He sighed impatiently, again.

Reaching the lab entry, he immediately spotted a head followed by a ponytail. Pritchard seemed focused, way too focused to notice his presence. The tech’s fingers moved rapidly over the keyboard, while the coffee mugs surrounding him made Adam lose count of them, twice.

It was... interesting to watch. Pritchard’s gaze was serious, and his fingers moved almost silently. It almost didn’t look like the tech had in fact such a stubborn personality. The scene was... peaceful. Adam watched Pritchard working for whole five-ish minutes.

He then approached with the bottle and glasses in hands, placing it in front of Pritchard’s chest. The tech jumped slightly from the chair. ‘Christ, Jensen, I’m working if you haven’t noticed.’

‘Yeah, Merry Christmas to you too.’, he pushed a chair he found next to the tech’s electric bike.

‘Spare me the sentimentalism, Jensen.’, Pritchard stretched his arms in front of the computer. ‘Also, thanks for reminding me not to ever bring a spare chair to my lab again, people seem to have the tendency of sitting on it simply because— it’s there.’

‘It’s a chair, Francis, that’s what people do.’, Jensen noticed the tech’s gaze wander from the whiskey bottle to his own eyes. ‘Oh and no need to quote Hamlet or god-knows-what you read just because I brought a whiskey with me.’

‘Only because it further proves that you have no knowledge in English literature?’, he crossed his legs, turning on his chair, facing Jensen. ‘Interesting how we always try to avoid our weaknesses.’

‘Interesting how inclusive you are tonight, Francis, talking about yourself as well.’

The tech got serious, folding his arms. ‘What do you want, Jensen?’, Adam smirked at his little victory.

‘I couldn’t help but notice the lack of Christmas gifts you got.’

‘Is that it? Well, excuse me if I’m not over 50% augmented and look edgy enough to get people’s attention.’

‘Easy, Francis.’, Jensen took the bottle in hands, pouring the liquid inside the glasses he brought with himself. He wasn’t actually looking for trouble right now.

‘I’m working right now, Jensen...’, Pritchard muttered while Adam took his hand in his, placing a glass in it.

‘Nah. Right now you’re drinking with me.’, he clinked the glasses, slowly taking a sip from his own right after that. ‘Merry Christmas.’

‘Mm— this one is...’ Pritchard mumbled, tasting the drink, lips moist. ‘... strong.’

‘Yeah, I know. Sarif never fails. Here.’ he once again took Pritchard’s hand, taking it away from the tech’s mouth. ‘You’re drinking way too fast. It’s whiskey, Pritchard, not a beer.’ He then took his own glass in one of his aug hands. ‘Smell it...’ he did so, eyes fixed on Pritchard’s ‘then take a sip,’ again he followed his own instructions. It took five seconds, he swallowed it ‘only then you swallow it.’

‘Oh, I hate what he’s turning you into.’ Pritchard looked away, rolling the glass with his hand.

‘Now what are you talking about?’ Adam put down his own whiskey.

‘Sarif. He’s teaching you everything. He’s turning you into a perfect copy of him, or at least he’s very close to.’

‘Spare me from your superstitions, Pritchard.’ He rolled his eyes.

‘You’re right... You’re right.’ the tech mumbled closing his eyes, bringing his glass to his mouth, tasting the whiskey silently. ‘Merry Christmas, Jensen.’ He whispered.

They drank in silence from then on, apart from their knees that now were awkwardly touching each other. Jensen would still avoid Pritchard’s gaze after what the tech said about him and Sarif. Ironic how Pritchard managed to fuck up the mood so easily, even when he tried his best to keep it cool between them.

Jensen couldn’t help but notice the colleague soften on his chair. The alcohol seemed to be spreading quickly. He jumped slightly after noticing the tech’s hand over his. His fingers were warm, carefully exploring the textures of his augmented hand.

‘I apologize for earlier. Some things are better left unsaid.’ the tech recomposed himself, taking his hand away from Adam’s, just to be stopped halfway.

‘Go on, it feels... nice.’

Pritchard was way too waisted to care. He kept stroking Adam’s hand, while his own would shake in some sort of anxiety. He was curious to see how far could this take him, but was also afraid of what Jensen would think of him.

In silence they stood. Adam would intertwine their fingers, feeling the warmth of Pritchard’s palm against his. Knees still against each other, feverish.

The tech once again pulled his own hand away, heart rushing, cheeks burning. His head was spinning when cold augmented hands pulled him closer, and lips were pressed together.

Pritchard fought for full five seconds, just to give in at the warmth of Jensen’s tongue. Desperate, he would allow himself to explore Jensen’s mouth, the scent of alcohol taking over him.

They would run out of breath too quickly, since their movements were completely out of sync, but neither of them cared to move away, breathing against each other’s skins, mouths agape, they would exchange kisses until their heartbeats were calm again.

‘I-I don’t know what just happened. I-I have work to do, Jensen, please.’ he looked away, pulling some of the bangs behind his ears, recomposing himself.

‘You’re drunk, Pritchard.’ Adam stood up. ‘But fine,’ he sighed ‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Adam couldn’t deny he wasn’t somehow affected by the whiskey as well, maybe not as much as his colleague, but still. He placed the chair back from where he took it, and headed to the door. ‘You sure you’re ok?’

‘I’m fine, Jensen, now just leave me, wouldn’t you?’ he would look anywhere but at Adam.

Jensen, however, approached him once more, the tech shaking on his chair, eyes wide open as Jensen came closer. ‘Forgot the bottle.’ He whispered against Pritchard’s ear, placing a teasing kiss on his neck, followed by a bite.

‘Jensen!’ Pritchard pushed him away, pulling the turtleneck higher.

‘Fuck... You’re too loud...’ he complained, one of the hands over his ear, taking the bottle and glasses away.

‘Christ’s sake...’ Pritchard muttered at last, head resting in one of his hands, while the other stroke the sloppy piece of skin.

—

[sanma-tetsurou]

lyricist! mark lee minhyung!

you can find the other dreamies at #worker au!!

===

•mark here is kind of self proclaimed 'amateur' lyricist and he's too humble everytime with 'i'm just writing what came to my mind and it wasn't that good' and he says that with awards lined up in a shelf at his room

•he's collaborated with a few world renowned artists and the songs were bighits (lol)

•mark's inspiration comes at weird times like maybe in the middle of the night he's sleeping and he wakes up suddenly and begins writing some lyrics in his third trusty notebook right beside his bed on the table

•he'd be wearing a pair of round glasses whenever he's working or meeting with the artists or their manager and they all be like look at this cutie but when the final product comes out they're like a bad-ass/tasteful cutie your skills are above our level take us as students - most probably gonna happen lol

•his hyung taeyong who works as a lyricist as well still treats him like a kid bc the boy doesn't know how to take care of himself

•like during a time where he had no inspiration and the idol wanted to see a draft of his lyrics he stayed up the whole day thinking and not eating or drinking anything so taeyong had to force hi mouth open and shove food into his system

•taeyong - "i don't need to find you passed out or rotting at your house so eat up mark"

•mark's just a boy who wants to do every one of his job properly so people don't get disappointed and make sure everyone loves the song

•so you work at a 24hr coffeeshop that owns the third floor and the roof just maybe a block away from where mark lives

•one thing you like about your job is that when you work late night shifts you get to go up to the roof to stare at the sky filled with countless of stars sparkling in their own way

•it just makes you take your mind off of things, making you forget things like you expensive af rent and the lady screaming about her chocolate being not sweet enough

•you happened to notice that a boy always comes into the cafe from somewhere around the evening and leaves at around 2-4am??

•he always go up to the roof and when you had to serve his coffee a few times you found him standing by the railing and stares at the sky

•each time he enters the place you notice his features one at a time bc you don't hv enough time to stare at him or needing him to see your obvious staring lol (you put together each of the parts and you can imagine him being cute than handsome and maybe you have a little something for him?)

•all you knew was his name, mark

•one day your friend had you stand in for her night to dawn shift which she promised you a week's lunch if not you would've been hone under the covers watching some show with popcorn

•it was abt one smth in the morning and there's nobody but you and your coworker renjun trying to stay awake and it made you giggle at his attempt not to fall onto the table while wiping it

•the bell at the door then tinkled, the soft sound echoing through the shop and you and renjun looked over to see mark again

•renjun excited walked over to him and had a bro hug moment so you made a small reminder to ask renjun how he knew the cute boy

•the boy then walked over to the counter and ordered his favourite drink while you tried to keep your eyes off of his face

•you quickly tapped on the register and he paid, the cashier let out a ring after then you had to wave renjun over to make the drink

•while you stood by the counter, mark was still standing in front of the counter kind of staring at nothing in particular

•you - "are you.. okay?" you waved your hand in front of his face and for a moment he was startled

•mark - "yeah. im fine just a little out" he let out an awkward laugh and headed upstairs again

•you took the moment to go to your coworker and interrogated him subtly asking him more about mark through the small talk you started as he continued making the drink

•for the first time you are willing to serve the ordered items to the customers and renjun's like are u sick lmao

•you picked up the tray and walked up the stairs thinking of striking up a convo with him

•mark was standing at the balcony his back facing you and staring at the stars where it was so tumblr aesthetic you couldn't help but snap a pic

•curse your camera snap sound you thought as he turned around and looked at you

•you - "sorry, you were just so tumblr i couldn't help it... i brought your order?"

•you didn't notice mark blushing slightly as you set down the tray and began walking away

•mark - "wait.." he called out to you "do you want to.. share that cake with me?"

•boii that made your heart jump and you hesitantly walk over and this time his blush was more evident

•soon the cake was finished in a matter of minutes that silently passed by bc both of you are chickens that didn't dare to say anything

•you - "why do you always come late at night?" you finally spoke up to him

•mark - "i like to look at the stars at night. it makes me feel calm"

•you - "really? me too"

•mark - "but there's something i like to see the most when i come here, you"

kinda left off hanging, sorry. i started writing this for about a month ago and it didn't turn out as good as i thought and i didn't really put in the lyricist stuff but i hope you enjoyed it!!

[woozifi]

I WENT TO THE TORONTO DIAMOND EDGE CONCERT AND THIS WAS MY EXPERIENCE

ok first of all it honestly didn’t even hit me that this was ACTUALLY HAPPENING

then the lights dimmed & svt was thERE and i realized holy fucking shit this was real i’m seeing them in reAL LIFE HOLY SHIT

let me tell you, they are all fucking STUNNING. they look like they do in all the pictures/music videos except IN PERSON and it was incredible, they all had perfect skin and looked absolutely gorgeous

my friends and i had seats pretty up close (in row F) but on the far right so we saw everything from a weird angle, luckily we had aisle seats so i had some space to see, but i mostly ended up focusing on the members dancing closer to our side of the stage

they introduced themselves and i lost my shit at every single one of them

hoshi was so hyper god bless him he was jumping all over the place and fooling around and had so much energy i was so happy to see that, he did the whole “what time is it” and everyone shrieked “10:10″ it was amazing

IF YOU DIDN’T THINK I WAS LOSING MY SHIT SEEING WOOZI IRL WITH THAT GORGEOUS LOWKEY FADING RED HAIR YOU THOUGHT WRONG, HE WAS SMALL BUT BREATHTAKING

they were definitely pretty tired, though. seokmin was laughing and having fun on stage but he was pretty subdued at some parts, and jun and wonwoo were too. i think jun had a headache or something, poor thing

ok but the songs tho

it was so insane?? like they just went song after song and barely had time to take a breath except for when they changed into different outfits

vocal unit’s songs were performed in snazzy suits and they were lounging on thrones and shit with lightning and bats in the background i never would have thought their stage would be a BROODING VAMPIRE CONCEPT but here it is and i want to draw the shit outta that

hip hop unit was so fucking good, i didn’t film a single second of their mixtapes bc me and my friend nush were too busy jamming tf out. it was so funny, everyone around us was just kinda screaming and filming it but you see us assholes by the aisle getting hyped

seungcheol was being a rude ass motherfucker the ENTIRE time, running his hands through his hair and having it all messy and shit, holy crap he was so hot i lost my entire soul when he went close to our side of the stage

VERNON’S STAGE PRESENCE THO, LIKE BOTH HE AND HOSHI HAD THE BEST STAGE PRESENCE

wonwoo is SO SKINNY, i don’t think i can call minghao a scarecrow anymore bc at least he’s buffing up his arms, wonwoo was a fucking beanpole and i probably could lift him over my head

performance unit was sO good!!! they performed everything i ever wanted to hear. they started off with oh my god & i lost it, then proceeded to lose it further with swimming fool, highlight, and my i

holy shit, my i. holy shIT

this probably isn’t in order, by the way, the entire night is a blur

they had a brief intermission of sorts where they showed us pictures of svt as kids and it was sO CUTE. i was dying at seokmin’s though bc they just had that pic of him in like middle school or smth with that dumb hair and dumb glasses but they shoWED IT TWICE JUST WITH DIFFERENT FILTERS I WAS CRYING

anyways they said they’d give us a “hot stage” and i was immediately like yes yes yes yes yes idc what you’re giving us i WANT IT

and they perfORMED ROCK I WAS LOSING IT I COULDN’T BELIEVE ITTTT

they also performed chuck and it was so cute bc afterwards soonyoung was trying to teach us the “CHUCK CHUCK BRRRRR CHUCK” move and it was absolutely adorable

anyways when vernon started to say “it’s the end of the concert” i got so shook bc it literally felt like the concert just started??? the entire concert itself was like 2 hours but it didn’t feel like it at all!

but they performed don’t wanna cry and then an encore of shining diamond and healing and it was lovely

we had a special project where during healing we held up banners and shit and they looked genuinely so surprised and touched

like vernon and josh kept repeating how touched they were, and mingyu looked like he might start crying, and seungkwan was really close to my side of the stage and you could see how his eyes were shining and how bright his smile is, like they were all so heartfelt and humble and kept talking about how much they enjoyed the concert and how happy they were to be here and how they want to come back to toronto as soon as possible

it was that exact moment where i realized i fucking love svt so much and i sold my entire life to them

this was supposed to be one concert i can splurge on and then never again, but after seeing that i decided my wallet can fucking deal with it

anyways the hi touch went by so fast i was a little disappointed, like u rlly didn’t have time to do anything but maybe blurt out an “i love you” to every member and give them a hi five

like honestly, unless it was like the kcon hi touch where you actually HELD their hands and got a couple seconds with each of them them, i don’t think i can believe anybody who says they managed to utter out even a sentence and get a response back from them, our security kept pushing us through and shouting to us that “it’s a high five not a handshake” 

they were all even more gorgeous up close!!! the first one was chan and he had the sweetest smile but you could tell the poor baby was tired

and then not in order bc i can’t remember SHIT, but i remember jun and mingyu looking tall and gorgeous, and seungcheol smiled and touched my hand sO softly with his hair falling into his eyes jesus christ

ok but seungkwan??? actual angel. everyone says you can tell how much he loves and appreciates all of us carats and they’re all absolutely fucking right.

i’m so sad that i didn’t get the chance to say anything more to even josh or vernon who might understand me, i was so overwhelmed and rushed i could only say “thank you” to all of them dfgpaegpe i should have told them how much i loved them

ANYWAYS WHEN I GOT TO WOOZI I WANTED TO DIE, I COMMITTED EVERY FEATURE TO MEMORY, HIS EYE MAKEUP MADE HIM LOOK SO SOFT AND HE SMILED AT ME WHEN I THANKED HIM AND I WAS SO SHOOK

seokmin and jeonghan were right after him and i completely forgot about them both bc i was so shook by jihoon, i’m so sorry seokmin i’m so sad i can’t remember you (i think he was really tired too tho)

minghao was last and he gave me that adorable smile with his cute ass button nose and i WANTED TO CRY

so yeah my left hand touched all of their hands and one day i want to go to a concert that has an event where i can really talk to them all for a couple of seconds, i just want to be able to tell them how much i appreciate them for everything they do for us

SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT

there’s some drama going around on twitter right now where soonyoung apparently threw shade at the fans mobbing them at pearson airport but idk if it’s actually true or not, it was hard for me to hear where i was standing but i knew for a fact that the translator was pretty terrible lmao he couldn’t keep up with svt at all

there was a disabled fan in a wheelchair up in the front on our side of the stage and they were all so sweet, they always smiled and waved at her, especially seungkwan and soonyoung

they really made sure that everyone felt noticed, they made sure to look around and wave at everyone in the balconies and shit too

jeonghan was an absolute angel???? he really made sure us carats on the far right of the stage felt appreciated, he took a lot of time to come close to our side and wave at all of us i wanted to cry

mingyu was really good with waving at us too, he’s tall and skinnier than i expected but an actual darling. my pal nush has a video where they were all lined up and he looked almost rIGHT AT HER and waved just as she was moving the camera to film her man junhui she was dying on the train this morning when she found out lmao

seungkwan too!!!

i blew a kiss at seungkwan when he was kinda looking in our direction and he smiled and wagged his finger and i thINK IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO ME??? IDK IF IT WAS REALLY BECAUSE OF ME BUT I WAS DEAD ANYWAY BOO SHOT UP MY BIAS LIST SO FUCKING FAST BECAUSE OF THAT

anyways i can’t believe that happened and i’m emotionally exhausted and dead, it was such a fantastic experience and i can’t wait to do it again someday

[sanma-tetsurou]

photographer! lee donghyuk!

just telling first that this is more to a female reader!! i intended to make it gender neutral but it was harder than i thought sorry!! this is also the longest au i've written so far !!

you can find the other dreamies i've written at #worker au!!

===

•so in this au donghyuk's a photographer , a helper of the main photographer to be specific

•he carries his uh boss's?? bag around that's filled with stuff like for cleaning the lenses and the stand for the camera

•he's given his own camera by his nice boss doyoung so he could take pictures he like and he prints them out and hang in his room

•doyoung takes a look at his pictures and also picks a few aesthetic pics to hang around the work place so it gets brighter

•imagine donghyuk wearing a beret all the time with maybe a vest and a button down white shirt?? m̶a̶y̶b̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶t̶'̶s̶ ̶a̶ ̶l̶i̶l̶'̶ ̶t̶o̶o̶ ̶o̶l̶d̶?̶

•so about his pictures you guys probably guessed it he likes taking aesthetic ass pictures and sometimes some pictures that gives out a vintage feel like maybe an old merry-go-round with paint fading and kids with big smiles riding on them?? (sounds creepy omg)

•usually when he follows doyoung around to work like grand parties and all he's allowed to wander off and takes pictures in angles he finds interesting like just a random person standing at the ballroom balcony and he focused on the dark sky behind them

•so doyoung had an appointment at a wedding and donghyuk follows him this time wearing more formal wear like suits and all

•doyoung brings less stuff so hyuk looks better with only the small camera bag and his camera in hand

•the wedding was held in the morning around maybe nine?? and hyuk was like pay me more for having me wake up early

•they arrived at the venue while the people were getting ready for the ceremony like checking the decorations, arranging the sequence of the events and tuning the piano idk

•donghyuk just walked around the while doyoung exchanged greetings with his good friend, taeyong the groom and discussed the flow of the event and so on

•he looks around the place; the chandelier hanging in the middle, sparkling as the rays of sunshine hit it, the seats covered by white cloths and decorated with ribbons and a flower on each seat and the sunlight shining through the glass, illuminating the place just right

•his camera went off, snapping pictures until he's satisfied with the angle, lightning and the subject he tries to capture

•hyuk walked into the garden , the people bustling around shouting out orders and maybe about some missing items and he notices a gazebo at corner a small distance from where he was standing and decided to visit it

•there he found you admiring the morning glory flowers that vined around the pillars in your white attire and hyuk swears he's it's one of the most beautiful sight he's ever seen

•from a hidden - he thought - corner , he secretly snapped a few pictures of you while you just pretended not to know and didn't hear the clicking of the camera , subtly posing for the camera lol

•the loud bell rang which marked the start of the ceremony and you speedily headed back inside and he followed then quickly took his seat beside doyoung at the third row from the front , holding his flower in hand

•hyuk's eyes glanced at each row trying to search for you until his eyes stopped at the front seeing that you were one of the bridesmaids wearing your pure white dress with a flower wreath on the crown of your head and a pretty smile on your face; hyuk couldn't help but take another picture

•when it was bouquet and garter tossing time , you guessed it - donghyuk and you got them and it was said earlier that the lucky ones would have to dance together after the newlyweds

•a soft song was played and the couple danced together gracefully , ending their dance with a kiss

•the song continued on while hyuk and you stepped up , two awkward teens getting into position for the dance

•donghyuk blushed as he put a hand on your waist bc he's never been this close to a girl before and it makes his heart race

•you're having the same issue as well bc you've never seen and been so close to a boy as cute before and you hoped that your palms weren't sweating

•the both of you danced awkwardly a silence settling around you two until donghyuk spoke up

•donghyuk - "what's your name? i'm donghyuk"

•you - "i'm (y/n) nice to meet you"

•donghyuk - "nice to meet you (y/n). it's going to be awkward if we don't start talking don't you think?"

•with that you two talked as you danced , giggling at his small jokes and having small chats to get to know each other

•just before the dance ended you told him you knew he was taking pictures of you and his cheeks went pink and you were like how can he get this cute sAVE mE

•donghyuk - "y-you knew? then i hope you don't mind me printing them and hang them in my work place? the pictures were so pretty , you were pretty as well"

•hyuk trailed off saying the last bit softly but you heard it clearly and blushed bc a cute hyuk called you pretty

•you - "it's fine i'm okay with that!! thanks for thinking that i'm pretty"

•he blushed darker as he realised you heard him say and you giggled

•you - "can i look at the picture after you're done printing them?"

•hyuk's like of course but how do i contact you and you lead him off somewhere as the dance finished

•you pulled out a pen out of nowhere and scribbled your number on his palm drawing a heart at the end and walk off leaving him a blushy mess

thanks for reading!!