#not me saving this 5ever ago

[galeleads]

@cromwellharvests​ has left a present. a garment box gives away a little bit of the mystery before it's opened, but hopefully not too much— leave that to the note written on pretty stationery laid on top, with her ever-familiar, overly-neat handwriting. 'i saw this fabric in the shop ages ago and it made me think of you– if there's anything wrong with the fit, please let me know.' the fabric mentioned being a slightly iridescent, deep blue organza, with little gold flecks woven in, tailored to a blouse with a wide, deep-v shaped collar, and bishop sleeves, (with little golden buttons on the cuffs, to match).

Well, if this wasn’t a wonderful surprise, than what was? Easy certainly had wonderful taste, and Aurora’s smile cannot become any brighter. She holds up the blouse, admiring it in all of its glory. Oh, she’ll have to wear it next time they have a chance to go to lunch! (And she'll certainly have to hide it from Amelia, she'll snatch it quicker than Aurora could tell her no!) The note does not go astray, and it will fit nicely in the box of letters she keeps on her desk.

[jennifercheckapologist]

Bandit Like Me - 00

Synopsis: You meet Ellie at her album release and she offers you her jacket.

Pairing: Rockstar!Ellie x Musician!Reader (Side Abby x Reader)

Warnings: None, really; Ellie's a slut (and southern); Reader's a slut (and southern); Reader isn't explicitly femme or masc, but I'm femme and everything I do is for myself; Eventual Smut; Joel is Super Alive

A/N: I haven't written something with a real plot that wasn't about Jennifer's Body in 5ever ! Also a transphobic radfem reblogged my last fic... terrifying. I would rather not interact with TERFs ever <3

Word Count: 1,252

On TLOU2 and Palestine

Resources

You need air- or at least, that’s what you told Abby before you rushed out onto the back patio, away from all the warm bodies, glitter, and the sounds of the world ending. It’s overwhelming being surrounded by celebrities now after all the years of shitty apartments and college parties. Now, they’re supposed to be your peers… or something like that.

You probably weren’t supposed to be here, on the guest list for one of the biggest parties of the year at Ellie’s absurd mansion- all dressed up to celebrate her. You definitely weren’t supposed to be outside, on her back patio in the cold New York air, watching her strum her guitar to herself.

You know you’re intruding, but you just can’t turn around. Not when Ellie looks so… like that with her signature guitar in her lap and her hair messily piled up on her head. She’s under-dressed in her blue jeans and wife beater. The only sign that she isn’t in the same tax bracket as you is the bright red racer jacket covering her arms. You’d seen that jacket a million times in photos. On-stage, in paparazzi photos, in music videos.

You hadn’t expected her here, outside all alone. Not when all the people worth name-dropping were inside, celebrating the release of her newest album. It seemed she was already working on the next thing. You hadn’t expected to get to speak to her either. She’d been famous since you’d been in high school- you still had her old country songs from long before she was a rockstar saved to your phone.

She must know you’re here- you didn’t make much effort to hide your arrival- but she stays focused. Her eyes are trained on her hand at the neck of the guitar, and she’s got that wrinkle between her brows like she’s doing surgery. The longer you wait, the more awkward you feel.

“Now, what would your daddy say if he saw you right now?” You manage a bit of confidence as you take a few steps toward where she’s seated, legs crossed on the concrete. It feels like a safe enough topic; something you could talk about for a while.

She chuckles, already back to being the impossibly charming star she was back inside. She flirts the same way that she breathes- instinctually, “What if I told you that he taught me everything I know?”

The answer? You wouldn’t be surprised. You’d grown up listening to Joel’s music with your parents, and you could hear bits and pieces of him all over her music. There were touches of him in your own work too. You still idolized him- had nearly choked on your drink when you saw him inside.

“About guitar,” you murmur, already melting into her, “or women?”

“Both, but there was only so much he could tell me about guitar,” she jokes. She finally looks up from her guitar, green eyes intense as she watches you squirm in front of her, “Did he see me leave?”

You shrug in response, your arms wrapped around you as you realize how cold it is. You can feel the goosebumps along your arms, and you’re starting to really regret your outfit choice, “I couldn’t say. He looked pretty relaxed the last time I saw him.”

She starts strumming again, something familiar- you recognize it from one of her first albums. It felt like those albums were a lifetime ago, but you remember listening to her debut when you were still in high school. She was only a couple of years older than you, but it seemed she was speaking right to you. You’d recognize those first tracks any day. Her strumming stopped again when you shivered and breathed into the cold air.

“Take my jacket,” she placed her guitar aside gently and began to remove the expensive leather for you, “Joel’d be pissed if I let you freeze out here, sugar.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t,” you protest, finally sitting next to her but certainly keeping your distance. You weren’t here to get starstruck and fall hopelessly in love with your seventeen-year-old self’s crush. You were supposed to be getting fresh air. You’d already promised Abby that you wouldn’t get into trouble tonight.

“You could,” she shoved the jacket toward you, “And you should.”

You push her hand back toward her, “Ellie, I know better.”

The smirk on her face doesn’t let up as she drawls, “You’re really hurting my ego here.”

“One second I’m in your jacket, the next I’m in your bed. I know how you are.”

“I’ve heard similar stories about you,” Ellie placed her jacket in front of you and crossed her arms, celebrating her minor victory as you picked it up and used it to cover your legs, “You don’t have to hop in my bed for it, I promise. I’m still a gentleman. Just don’t tell your girlfriend.”

“I’m sure she won’t mind. She’s a big fan,” You wink. ‘Fan’ might be a strong word here, but so was ‘girlfriend.’ What you and Abby had was something in between that. You looked good together, and you had fun. You tried not to think too much about Ellie knowing anything about your love life.

She reached for her guitar again with a laugh, “Yeah, I’m sure.”

You watched as she stood to leave, seemingly pleased with that being the end of your interaction. You stood awkwardly and called her name, folding her jacket over your arm. She only turned back around to you when she reached the door back into her house, “Your jacket?”

And god, you want to push her for how cocky she looks as she turns on her heel to grin at you, “Don’t worry, I’ll take it back once I’ve seen you in it.”

The moment she’s inside, the whole interaction feels fake. The only evidence you have of the moment is the red leather covering your arm, and you feel like a ridiculous teenager as you bring it to your nose to take in her scent. It smells earthy and expensive and now you’re certain you were smart not to put it on. If you had kept bantering with her, surrounded by her scent like this, you would be in trouble.

You stay outside, thinking about the feeling of being with Ellie for a little longer before heading back in to find Abby. She lights up when she sees you, her large arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you in like you really do belong to her. She’s warm against you, and when she gives you your personal space back, she has confusion contorting her face as she stares at the leather folded over your arm, “That’s new.”

“Yeah,” you attempt to shrug off the edge in her voice, “I ran into Ellie Williams outside and it was cold so she-”

“She left her own party to sit outside and wait for a pretty girl to need a jacket?” She murmurs into your ear, pulling you back into her. You can already tell she’s preparing to make this a thing.

You frown up at her, “She was working on a song or something. I interrupted her and she was really nice about it.”

“I’m sure she was.”

“Oh, stop it,” you hook your free arm around her neck, “She knew I came with you.”

That makes the corners of her mouth perk up. She presses a quick kiss to the corner of your mouth before responding, “Good.”

Housekeeping: Dividers again by @saradika ; pinterest board that got me here ; As always, I'm a black femme lesbian and that's my truth

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 229

Dark Dynasty/Flatline

“Dark Dynasty”

Plot Description: a familiar tattoo leads the brothers deeper into the world of the Styne family, and Castiel plays referee between Charlie and Rowena

(The second half of that sentence interests me greatly)

Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: I won’t even monetize my hobbies, I’m not gonna do shady medical studies where my eyes might get gouged out for a little bit of money

Stop yelling at her, Sam!! She’s trying to help you and you chained her up

The Styne family is so uninteresting to me. I hope they don’t have a lot of significance in future seasons

Sam, you are wholly unconvincing in your lying about where you’ve been sneaking off to.

And Dean randomly deciding to research the Stynes because he’s a little bored is just…too convenient

I FEEL Charlie’s exasperation with the brothers. The CONSTANT secret keeping and going against the other’s wishes. It’s a lot to deal with

You know…I think I would watch a show with the nerd, the witch, and the angel…

Sam knowing that Cas literally has nothing else going on right now. He doesn’t have to save or overthrow heaven, he’s not even allowed there

Oh Cas. Oh Cassyyyyy, “if I’m going to referee I should know the rules.” I love that even though he knows cultural references now, he still doesn’t get commonly used phrases

Cas didn’t know that Dean doesn’t know they’re doing this?? How many times does Sam need to be told that this won’t end well??

Charlie and Cas bffs 5ever

You can’t truly expect Rowena to be in this “for Dean.” She barely knows him, they’ve tried to kill each other, and all his friends have her locked in some abandoned warehouse

I’ve missed Crowley

How good are these security cameras? They’re not even this good on cop shows. There’s no way they should be able to get that clear of a visual of the guy’s tattoo after zooming in that much.

Castiel coming in with snacks while Rowena and Charlie snip at each other is quite comical….I take it back, they’re a little bit bonding. Once they get past the difference in aesthetics of their way of decoding things, there are some things in common after all

Well, Charlie doesn’t want to see the similarities, but that doesn’t make them nonexistent

It’s…weird when the boys are the least interesting part of an episode, but that’s chasing after the Styne family for ya

Sam, I’m so sorry for calling you an unconvincing liar. The real crown for that goes to Castiel. He calls Sam’s phone, Dean answers. He tells Dean that he’s just staying in touch…like he does. Then that this call is pointless and ends with “my ride’s here” and hangs up

Oof, now Dean’s suspicious…that can’t be good

SHE LEFT HER PET COVEN LEADER???

Why can Crowley talk to hamsters? How does that make sense? Is it because she’s really human underneath that?

You boys really don’t want to be messing with this Winchester, I promise you that

*presses pause* No…they can’t be doing this. Not even supernatural can do THIS (and I say this knowing there’s still a scooby doo episode in my future). So. This dude Dean captured, part of the Styne family. He just revealed that they’ve been harvesting organs and enhancing their own bodies (adding extra hearts and other organs and muscles) with said body parts. Turns out this family had to change their name a couple hundred years ago…in the 1800s. I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SUE THE CW IF THEY ARE INSINUATING THAT THESE PEOPLE ARE THE FRANKENSTEIN FAMILY *presses play* I’M CALLING MY LAWYER (does not actually have a lawyer)

Oh nooooo oh no oh no oh no. While Sam is distracted with a phone call from Cas about Rowena and Charlie constantly fighting, Dean’s now found out that the Book of the Damned CAN’T be destroyed and is piecing together that Sam’s been lying to him this whoooooole time

I never saw 127 Hours…did the guy rip off his arm or leg in that? If arm, this Styne has 127 Hours’d himself out of the bunker’s dungeon. When he called each of his family members expendable, he meant it

Casssssss Cas Cas you can’t leave her in an unwarded room all by herself. I love her but she’s gonna get the fuck out of there. WHERE DID CHARLIE GO???

This music while Dean is confronting Sam about the book is INTENSE. It is STRESSFUL

It’s a powerful image, the Styne guy just banging on the door to Charlie’s motel room with what’s left of his left forearm. He could use his whole right one but no

OHHHHHH DEAN’S RIGHTEOUS ANGER. It’s been a while

I knew it would eventually come but I didn’t know it was today. I didn’t WANT it to be today…RIP Charlie 😭😭😭

“Flatline”

Plot Description: Clara goes against an enemy beyond human perception

I’ll tell ya one thing. Having an episode named Flatline right after my beloved Charlie died is CRUEL

This is a weird af episode. Not only are people being turned 2D, but the TARDIS has shrunk to toy size

Ok ok ok ok but Clara pretending to be the Doctor because he’s stuck in the TARDIS is a fun move

Thing is Clara’s found herself a companion for the episode. It’s amazing

There’s so much lying going on in these shows today. Everyone was lying to Dean, Clara’s lying to Danny about where she is and what she’s doing

I’m…kind of over the Doctor monologuing to…I guess it might actually be soliloquizing in the TARDIS

It’s verrrryyyyyyyy interesting how well the Doctor has (consciously or not) trained Clara to be just like him. Danny will SEETHE when he finds out just how alike his girlfriend and the man he can’t stand are

It’s an extra weird episode. The Doctor’s there but not really, Clara’s feelings toward him seem to vacillate between thinking the worst of him while shoving that in his face and the same blind loyalty as ever, and that’s on top of the aliens from a 2D universe turning people 2D and studying them…but there’s too much of the last part…and it’s the least interesting part. It’s visually interesting but…I take it back, there’s too much emphasis on the special effects. THAT’s why this episode is bad

Is watching the Doctor Addams Family Thing the TARDIS off the train tracks worth the rest of this episode? I don’t know but it’s probably going to be the highlight of the episode for me

Oh thank god, Clara. You’re on your own, kid. And I’m glad you’re taking charge and not asking what the Doctor would do no. It’s up to you to figure out what YOU would do and are going to do now

Why was he able to monologue at them, sonic them with the screwdriver, and banish them?? Why couldn’t anyone else monologue and sonic them????

[pluviatenebris]

@equationsoff​    //   Five    &&   Ben.

starter based on this.  

     ❝  Wait  --  wait  a  minute.  ❞  Ben waves  a  hand  in  a  repeated  motion  of  shushing  his  brother.  He  kind  of  feels  bad  about  interrupting  him  because  he  can  tell  that  Five  isn’t  exactly  feeling  a  whole  lot  of  patience  at  the  moment  but  he  also  knows  that  Five  will  just  continue  to  talk  without  waiting  for  any  verbal  cues  of  comprehension  if  Ben  doesn’t  speak  up  sooner.  This  has  an  old  familiar  sense  of  déjà  vu  to  it;  once  upon  a  time,  he’d  been the  rational-minded  to  Five’s  impulsive.  Especially  since  on  the  other  side  of  Five  had  been  a  ten  times  more  impulsive  Klaus.  (  Or  maybe  a  much  younger  Ben  had  just  been  the  scaredy  cat  to  both  of  their  daredevils.  )  

          ❝  Just.  Back  up  a  second,  would  you?  ❞  If  his  interruption  sounds  like  a  childish  pun  on  Five’s  abilities?  Well,  maybe  this  is  just  his  sarcastic  way  of  trying  to  cope  with  the  information  that’s  suddenly  being  dumped  in  his  lap  after  three  years  of  silence  from  the  rest  of  his  siblings  while  stranded  in  a  year  he  should  not  feasibly  exist  in  while  living  and  breathing  again  suddenly  without  explanation.  (  Ben  thinks  he’s  handling  the  situation  fairly  calmly  all  things  considered.  )

          ❝  What  do  you  mean  the  world’s  ending  again?  How  can  the  world  be  ending  at  an  even  earlier  point  in  time?  ❞  If  this  were  any  of  his  other  siblings  this  would  probably  be  a  much  more  tearful  reunion.  But  Ben  can  practically  hear  the  gears  grinding  overtime  in  Five’s  head  and  in  this  moment  he  feels  like  an  attentive  little  brother  again  who  just  wants  to  understand  so  he  can  help.  ❝   --  Can  the  world  even  end  more  than  once?  ❞

[softsoonhao]

Nobody asked, but here’s an aesthetic post for myself.

[kate-komics]

Hey Kate! I was wondering if you could share your process in how you go about drawing backgrounds in your comics? Yours always look on point, Especially when it comes to the interiors of space ships which I find impossible haha. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!

Okay, first off... sorry this took 5ever for me to answer 😅

So, I suppose the short answer would be a basic understanding of perspective and A LOT of references. I seriously have folders upon folders full of collected photo references and a billion 3D model references from sketchfab and various other parts of the internet. They save my ass whenever I'm having a tough time figuring out a shot.

For understanding drawing perspective as a whole (and so you don't feel lost with all these references and models) I highly recommend the book 'Framed Perspective' by Marcos Mateu- Mestre. I have a copy that sits next to my desk at all times 😊 absolutely amazing. Makes it all seem so easy.

As for my process it's actually very similar to this post I saw not too long ago! Check it out down here ⬇️

https://art-tnt.tumblr.com/post/612413698481537024/indoril-niehaus-bludragongal-askoursquad

But yeah, my process for backgrounds is often pretty similar to what’s above. Find a reference, lay down a guide and then add or take away for whatever you need to. Like this panel and this reference model. I checked some angles I liked to help me figure out my grid then I changed a few things in the room, laid down my lines and added some ships and people. Very common for a lot of artists apparently.

Though I don’t always use model help. If it’s a background I’m familiar with/ have already drawn a million times I can usually do an easy perspective grid myself. Like these ⬇️

I also eyeball quiet a lot of things because I’m lazy😅 as you can tell!

A thing I also do sometimes I’d make a perspective grid around a pose. I get pretty attached to poses. So for his panel panel I took a reference photo of myself from above and built a scene around it. I don’t recommend this for beginners but… yeah it’s a thing I do still. (Sorry, I don’t have the original reference picture anymore) but I think it definitely helps anyone understand how certain angles work.

As for interiors of space ships, I honestly just see it as a lot of repeated or dynamic shapes. You don’t need to do much to make some alright sci-fi scenes. If you look through any space or Star Wars comics a lot of the time the backgrounds it’s just like “oh, they just split this wall into asymmetrical panels and added a pipe or two and some lights.” As you can see, I do exactly that ‘cause again… I’m lazy 😂

If it’s a repeated shape I just make a flat version of the pattern then transform it into my grid. Like these fucking floor oval things at are everywhere in the star wars universe.

Work smart and use all the tools at your disposal to work faster 👍🏻 if you want to see someone go more in depth with a lot of these techniques I highly recommend checking out some of Ethan Becker’s videos on YouTube. He’s a brutally honest animator and he gives what I think are some very helpful tips to people who are intimidated by the industry or furthering their artistic practice.

But yeah... practice perspective and use reference to help you understand! And also random shapes. And also don’t be afraid to fuck up! Try things! You can’t learn if you don’t fail!

Hope this helped! I’m bad at explaining these kind of things 😅

[seeingteacupsindragons]

I haven’t seen Nabari no Ou (tho I'm going to start it now that you mentionned it!) but Shimanami Tasogare doesn't have a bad ending. Without spoilers, it’s really a sweet manga. I have the impression that the goal was to tell an encouraging story and above all to inform peopel about several queer identities. Of course there is some hard moment but overall it's really sweet. I encourage you to check it one day if you feel like you can ^^

Warning for anyone who may be tempted to start Nabari because of me, this is official art for the series I have had saved for like 5ever.

Nabari, is loosely, about this 14yo boy named Miharu, who lost his parents in a plot-related tragedy many years ago and lives with his grandparents now. And then he realizes his family was a ninja family and he has this godlike ninjitsu called the Shinrabanshou that basically can do whatever the hell he wants it to do.

But he doesn't actually know how to make it work, and he's extremely apathetic and depressed, so he doesn't really want anything enough to make it work, either.

So the various ninja clans realize he has this thing and they all, in various ways, try to get it to use it for themselves. And then he runs into this young intersex ninja named Yoite, who is ostensibly on the side of their worst enemies, who threatens Miharu's friends and family if he doesn't agree to help Yoite "Never have been born."

(Although at this point, I should mention that the anime does not make Yoite intersex explicitly, but he is explicitly intersex in the manga. FWIW)

So Miharu agrees, and they both sort of set out on a quest absolutely zero other people want them to be on in order to figure out how to make this stupid thing work so Miharu can make Yoite never have been born, and they bond and, arguably, fall in love. And Yoite stops wanting to die (although I'm compelled to point out that in this series, never having been born and dying are not at all the same thing) so badly and Miharu starts becoming invested in his life and care about people, and.

Well, I'll stop there to not share All The Spoilers.

The anime doesn't exactly end badly, but it does end tragically, and somehow the gay couples/implied couples all end up sadly but the straight couples make it out okay, and that annoys me in retrospect although it didn't really register at the time.

I have heard the manga ends much better, but I have not once heard that it ends happily. I actually have the fist 6 volumes still on my manga bookcase, and then sort of lost track of it because Money, but the college friend read the scans and filled me in on some of the other stuff.

I do still like Nabari. It didn't make me angry the same way that Banana Fish. The tragedy is much more narratively sound (although I have many arguments I'd like to make about the anime version of it that I know don't track for the manga), and frankly, cathartic, and I don't think it's a harmful tragedy in the way Banana Fish is.

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 6x14 Page 23

Okay what episode do we have today?

Ah okay, a Regina centric. That’s cool.

Is that the same guard Snow stripped naked in 1x16? Whaaaat?! Just looked it up and it totally is! Awesome call back! I’m going to name him Jim.

Oh my God, she killed Jim!!

Wait, so this has to be after Heart of Darkness.

The terrified look on that woman’s face when Regina strokes her chin, looks at her longingly and tells her she loves her. Omg Regina was in love with this woman all along! It was never about Daniel. It was about Christina! I’m naming her Christina. 

They are my otp now.

How did Tinker Bell get out of neverland? Pan decides when people leave, and I doubt he’d let her leave just to pay a visit with the Evil Queen. But then and again maybe it was all part of his big plan.

Oh. Pixie dust doesn’t dictate who your true love is. It just shows you possibilities. That’s not what you said before, Tinker Bell!

Regina, we all know you spared her because she’s your ex-girlfriend.

Actually, this visit from Tinker Bell is odd because she doesn’t seem angry at all like when she, like, wanted to kill Regina in 3x03. How did she go from, “okay. I lost my wings because of you but it’s all cool. I just want my otp together.” to “I’m gonna f***ing drug you with pixie dust and rip your heart out!”?

Also, this is the Evil Queen I like to see. So cold, terrifying and breaking on the inside. I’m not a fan of the humorous one in 6x02. I wish Split Queen was more like this as well. Ah different writers and director. Interesting.

Split Queen: “…not some burlap-loving peasant who sleeps on dirt.” Wish Robin: “Excuse me, I sleep on hay.” Important distinction!

Snow’s so excited about the wedding, bless her.

Lol Zelena just drags Emma’s hand to look at her ring. My girl loves shiny things! And how could I forget, her otp is getting married! She is in heaven right now!

I love Emma just casually talking to Zelena like they’re gal pals at a sleepover. More of this please! 

I can see what sqers say about this scene. Regina really does look hurt by the notion of Emma getting married. There is no heterosexual reason for her to react like this unless she’s in love with Hook. I think this is the only time they hug. Man, I feel so bad for sqers because upon this rewatch I can really see where they are coming from with that interpretation. It’s definitely there. And then they hug because Emma’s getting married to someone else. I would be so upset if that was my otp. What am I talking about, I watched 10 seasons of Smallville as a hardcore Chloe x Clark shipper. I think this exact scenario played out and it freaking hurts! 

In other news, I am so in love with Snow. Have I mentioned that? I feel like I haven’t mentioned it in a while and it needs to be said. 

I’m also in love with David, in case you forgot. I want to join their marriage. Can I join their marriage? I’m joining their marriage. Emma, I’m your mummy now. Don’t think about the age difference too much. 

I’ve eaten a lot of chocolate already today. Can you tell? I feel so alive! I want to share my social security number and be freeee!! I am trying to block out my anxiety about having to move house again next friday. Yep, that’s right, 4th place in two years. I think I will write all of these high on chocolate.

What would happen if you cut your hair with those sheers? Or your garden bush? No, that is not a euphemism, you dirty bastards (affectionate). 

I haven’t had a haircut in 10 years. Holy cow! That’s why my afro is so big, it’s full of secrets. 

Nemo is your dad now, Hook. Even though I’m pretty sure he’s a lot younger than you. 

He called him “My boy.” hehe.

I remember when I thought Hook and Rumple had the same mother. That would have been quite the twist.

I thought that vase of flowers was a giant cauliflower. Did you know broccoli, cauliflower, cabbages, brussels sprouts and turnips are all related? I wonder what thanksgivings are like when they all get together. Probably not fun for them. 

See what I did there xD? 

Emma: “This is my fault. I’m the one who convinced you to bring him here. It’s on me.” Regina: “Emma, you don’t have anything to make up for. You were just trying to help.” Omg, this compared to when she told Emma she’d ruined her life because Emma saved Marian. The development. I really appreciate this change because I nearly lost it with Regina when that was her attitude. 

Screw it, I’m making bean enchiladas. Brb. I’ll save you some!

I’m back! They’re in the oven. Anyone wants the recipe hmu! They’re veggie! 

You just know Split Queen and Wish Robin have a sexy dungeon in their castle. They just do.

Enchanted ropes would have been useful in so many situations.

The enchiladas are ready! Repeat after me, Becky: “I will remember oven gloves this time, I will remember oven gloves this time.”

Robin is so into Split Queen. He wants her to live with him and everything, even though they just met. 

I don’t think that arrow would have taken her to Robin since it takes her to the thing she loves most. She can’t love someone she’s never met. We all know it would shoot Christina right in the ass. That’s true love biatches! Evil Peasant 5ever!

Oh snap! Emma found Hook looking at himself killing her grandfather??! I completely forgot about this!

Why does she say, “That’s David’s father”? Why doesn’t she say, “That’s my grandfather,” or “That’s my dad’s dad”? She hasn’t called her dad ‘David’ in years. It’s like she’s trying to separate herself from the victim as much as possible.

She’s not even a little bit upset he killed her dad’s dad? That that event caused her father so much pain? She’s just infuriated that he tried to burn his memory. I mean, yes, she should be angry about that but where’s the empathy for her dad at least? I didn’t know any of my grandfathers well but if I found out I was engaged to someone who did that I would be angry for my grandparent, angry for my parent and angry for myself. I’m just speechless that that’s all she cares about. It seems so out of character. But then and again Regina had her other grandad killed. 

And now he’s gonna leave because he rightfully got told off. Can’t say I’d offer the same thing but she said, “until you’re ready” not “you’ll never be ready”, dude. 

I think he’s just scared David will punch him in the face at this point. It’s the only explanation for doing the exact opposite thing Emma asked of him.

“Captain Hook is always welcome on the Nautilus.” More like welcome on the naughty list after that stunt.

She doesn’t want a man, Henry Sr. She just confessed her deep, passionate, sexual love for Christina like 20 minutes ago, remember? Sometimes I wonder why I bother. It’s not even subtext, dude. Get it together, man.

Why don’t they fight themselves with magic?

Her dad is so heartbroken the person Regina hates most is herself. 

That is really sad that the person she hates most his herself. I can relate.

Yes! Launch those apples at yourself! 

My conversations with myself be like-

Oh boy. This is too reminiscent of conversations with myself. Yes, I sword fight myself wearing a fancy black, cleavage-revealing dress in my head all the time. Only joking, I wear trilby hats. 

Oh okay. Now they’re tying each other up. I see what this is really about. I still haven’t bleached the “we do like it rough, don’t we Regina?” line from my mind. 

I suppose she did take back some of her own darkness. But I was hoping she would just merge herself back together. That would have been a really predictable outcome, but I just would have preferred it. 

This scene is so weird lol, but it helped me tremendously. I used to hate myself so, so much. You don’t even understand. It was like a violent hatred for myself for not fitting in and for every single little mistake I’d ever made. Then with a lot of self- healing and the help of this episode I began my journey into loving myself. I wrote on a sticky note “Love yourself. If the Evil Queen can do it, so can you.” and stuck it to my wall. Nothing I’ve done is comparable to what the Evil Queen has done and if she can learn to love herself, why can’t everyone else. Anyone who’s struggling with self-hatred, please take this episode to heart. You are worthy of love, most importantly from yourself. Any time you find yourself hating yourself just try to remember this scene and that the flipping Evil Queen of all people recognised the importance of self-love and didn’t give a damn what anyone else thought. She damn well gave herself a chance. I’ve heard a good technique is looking in the mirror and telling yourself what you love about you. Even if you’re not feeling it at first, you could get into the habit of it and your brain will start to accept those words as true. Because they are true.

Aww she sees the Charmings as her family. 

Regina: “it did give me hope when I needed it most, and that is just as important.” Oh my God, preach the word Regina! Regina is preaching with fire today! 

It’s like she’s having a therapy session with herself. I need to do that. I really do. Then I need to get actual therapy lol xD. But baby steps! 

Okay. A loophole as to how he can change Split Queen’s story. You know what, at this point I’ve learnt just to go with it.

Can Snow and Zelena be best friends? Please. It’s literally all I want in life. And to join Snowing’s marriage. I’m not asking for much. I’ll talk about it in self-therapy.

Henry’s got Gideon’s haircut now. He wants to be cool like his uncle.

I want to look at myself with the love and adoration Regina looks at herself with. We should all get to that point where we look like we’re about to intensely make out with ourselves when we look in the mirror. 

I know what they were doing with page 23. I just wish Split Queen had changed her outfit so it could have been exactly like the page illustration. But I don’t think it was meant to predict the future. It was just one of Isaac’s fanfictions, wasn’t it? Hmm. I think it was a mystery to him as well if I can remember correctly.

It’s nice that oq shippers got their ship in the end in one form.

Snow is just constantly high up to her eyeballs on hope, bless her. 

Emma needs a dog. She seems like such a dog person.

Also, that enchilada was yumilicious, if I do say so myself.

[sleepychai-fics]

Road to Salvation ~ Chapter 4 - The Proposition

Inform me if I need to put in any warnings for this chapter. ALSO I'd like to apologise for the long break between chapters, life has been hectic and things got out of hand for a bit. Hopefully it wont happen a second time.

Word count: 5,472

Pronouns - Female

ALSO SHOUTOUT TO @doughnuts-5ever​ FOR BETA READING THIS ENTIRE SERIES. I KEEP FORGETTING TO ADD THIS SHOUTOUT CAUSE I POST THESE CHAPTERS AT 1 AM LIKE THE NIGHT OWL I AM. SO BIIIIIIG THANK YOU TO YOU BB, YOU MAKE THIS STORY MAKE SENSE WHEN MY BRAIN DONT

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters in BNHA. However, there are many OC’s in this fic that I’ve created. These OC’s belong to me and are specifically created for this fic. 

However, Hajime Shinsou is NOT my oc. He is an oc created by Keiid, who used to have tumblr but now uses twitter. Please keep that in mind.

Feedback is appreciated!

Want to be part of the taglist? DM me or reply to this chapter!

“What do we know about this girl?” Tsukauchi flips open the folder full of papers in front of him, eyes darting across the pages briefly taking in the information.

Aizawa sighs, lifting up one of the papers and reading off of it. “She’s been seen as a vigilante on the streets for a little over two years now. How long she’s been on the streets in general is unknown. Her quirk involves moving objects through shadows. It’s believed she has other accomplices, however we don’t know for sure.” He ends by tossing the paper back in the folder.

Tsukauchi hums. “Is she the one we’re looking for?”

“I hope so.”

“What about her suspected accomplices?”

Aizawa takes out another piece of paper from a different folder. “Our informant tells us she lives with many other people on the streets. Rumors say that the group is the line between villains and heroes.” His tired eyes look over to the police officer. “We’re not sure how to interpret that.”

A groan leaves the officers lips as he leans back in his chair. “We’ll interview her once she wakes up. We can negotiate living conditions with her. Offer her the placement and training in exchange for her compliance and any requests she may ask.”

With a yawn, Aizawa nods. “What do you suspect she’ll ask for?”

“Not too sure. Despite what we have on her, she’s still unknown to us. Our data banks have nothing on her. It’d be your job to get to know her.”

Aizawa groans. “I know that. But I think Hisashi is more up to that task.”

Tsukauchi smiles. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“It was part of the deal. Whisper held up her end, now I need to hold up mine.”

“It’s a big task to hold up.”

Aizawa hums in agreeance. “That’s why I offered a trial period. If she proves worthy to be a hero, then I’ll make it a permanent deal.”

“Whisper has offered to ensure a steady supply of information on other underground personnel if you were to make it a full time deal.” Tsukauchi reminds him.

Aizawa nods. “Are you sure-”

An alarm blares loudly through the speakers, interrupting the two men and instantly raising them on high alert. The conference room doors slam open, a security guard standing at the entrance.

“I apologise for the interruption but she’s escaped her room!”

Aizawa stands up from his chair, almost knocking it over. “Do you know where she’s headed?”

“They report she’s just entering the cafeteria, possibly towards Ward E.”

The two men race out the door, following the guard as he races towards your direction.

~*~

Your senses come back slowly. First, it’s touch. Whatever room you’re in, it’s got a cold atmosphere to it. If you were conscious enough, you’d be clutching to your thin jacket. As the thought crosses your mind, you take note of the feeling of the fabric, definitely not the same kind of material as your jacket. But despite its foreignness, it holds you in strange comfort. However, the feeling doesn’t last long as your hearing starts to kick in.

Two voices - one feminine and the other masculine, speaking in a soft tone. Along with the voices, you hear a steady beeping sound. A heart monitor? You hear it pick up as the rest of your senses come to life. The pungent smell of sanitising chemicals invades your nostrils and has you scrunching your nose in response. One of the voices gasps and speaks to the other. Your eyes are heavy and your body urges you to return to the land of peaceful slumber, but with a strong will, you open your eyelids.

Everything is blurry. Patches of colours hover over your vision before flicking to a mixture of white shades. You hear things shuffle around and clang against metal, only making you work harder at your vision. In an attempt to clear your vision, you rapidly blink your eyes. However, a bright light shines into your eye and forces you to squint. In a burst of panicked adrenaline, you lash out.

From what you can comprehend, you throw out your fist, hitting the figure above you. Ignoring the scream of pain, you jump up out of what you suspect to be a bed and scamper across the floor. You trip into a wall and turn your body around to face the mess you seemed to have caused.

You shake your head and rub at your eyes in another attempt to clear your vision. As it begins to clear, the masculine voice speaks.

“Hey! Let’s calm down. There’s no need to be scared.” You focus on the person closest to you. His hair is a terrible mess of purple. A white coat lays over a blue shirt and brown pants. As your vision clears by the second, you recognise more of his facial features and you can’t help but feel a sense of familiarity. His dark eyes stare at you earnestly, but it’s his eyebags that strike you with an eerie recognition.

You notice his hand cast behind him and you follow it to a woman in similar attire to him, laying on the ground. She has one hand propping her upper body up off the floor, while her other hand covers her lower face, blood seeping in between her fingers.

You return your sight to the man and attempt to speak, however it comes out raspy. After clearing your throat, you try again. “Who are you?”

The doctor responds calmly, making slow movements with his hands as he speaks. “My name is Hajime Shinsou. I know that this seems scary at the moment, but you need to trust that I won’t hurt you.” Shinsou attempts to take a step closer but retracts it as you push your body further against the wall. “You might recognise me, more so my son but let's face it, he’s practically a carbon copy of me.”

Your vision finally starts to clear, enough for you to make out specific features that you’ve definitely seen before. But he’s way too tall from what you can remember. “Why would I recognise you? Your son?”

The slight upturn of his lips doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “A couple days ago, you saved my son from a group of gang members. It was by a karaoke restaurant. He has purple hair, just like me. He even has the same eyebags as me.” As Shinsou goes through his explanation, your memory begins to jog.

“The… the gang. They uhm... they attacked a restaurant and took a kid hostage.” Shinsou nods. “I stopped them and saved the kid.”

“Yes. My son appreciates you. I do too.”

Alarming questions begin to spew in your mind. “How did you know it was me? Where am I? Why am I here?!” Each question grows more desperate as your (e/c) scan the entirety of the room. Thankfully you chose the wall close to the door.

“It’s okay. No one intends to harm you here.”

“Bullshit. Where am I?!” You argue back, glaring at him with irritation.

Shinsou continues to remain calm, despite the growing panic radiating off of you. “You’re in a hospital in northeast Tokyo.”

Your heart pounds in your chest as your eyes widen in shock. “Northeast?!”

With a nod, he responds carefully. “Yes. I understand you may be in shock. But I promise you that I don’t mean you any harm-”

“I want to leave.”

He sighs heavily. “I know, but I’m sorry to say I can’t allow-”

“I want to leave. NOW!” You scream this time, eyes brimming with tears you fight to extinguish. “I can’t be here, I have to leave this place.”

“Why don’t we just sit down and have a calm cha-”

“No! I can’t stay here! I have to leave!” You throw your hands out, intent on using your quirk to push back the doctor. But when that doesn’t work, you falter. “Wha… Why? What happened to my quirk?” A few stray tears slither down your face despite your best efforts. “What did you do to my quirk?!”

“We’ve injected you with quirk suppressants. It was protocol. I’m sorry.” You can hear his genuine apology, but you ignore it through your own raging emotions.

“I’m leaving.”

Hajime nods, knowing there’s nothing else he can do. “I understand. But you have to know I can’t let you go without calling it in.”

You shake your head. “I don’t care.” You leave him no breath to reply, walking towards the door. Before you leave, you snatch a spare white coat from a nearby hook and throw it over yourself.

As the door clicks behind you, you take a moment to assess your surroundings. A window down the hall shows an orange hued sky, although it's difficult to determine whether it’s dusk or dawn. A couple of doctors scatter the large hall, but they’re too busy looking down at clipboards to notice you. You waste no second more before walking down the hall, head tilted down to avoid arousal of your presence.

It’s so foreign, so clean and pristine. Tears are prepared to fall at any moment, but you fight against them. It’s exhausting and horrifying, it’s taking all of you not to bolt out the nearest window.

Every turn you take, every corridor you look down leads you to the belief that you're stuck in a labyrinth. It all looks the same. The room placements, the nurses, the machines littered here and there. Everything is almost the exact same and it scares the living shit out of you.

Finally, after what seems like hours of endless wandering, you come across two double doors. They appear to lead to another part of the hospital. You take a second to glance around you. There’s no other way to go besides through these doors, at least no other way you’ve been able to discover anyway. Without another second to hesitate, you go through the doors.

It’s similar to the place you just came from, except there are fewer private rooms and more public beds. They’re all aligned against the wall and separated by at least a couple of meters. Curtains hang between them, offering visual privacy. More nurses and doctors operate within the space, working with patients and running to various desks.

As you take in the scenery from the doors, you hear a voice call out from your left.

“Hey, are you-?”

You turn to look at the voice, and your heart drops. Realisation dawns on your face the second you notice the security badge. Unfortunately, the guard comes to his own realisation.

The guard opens his mouth wide, probably to yell out, but you don’t give him the chance to. With adrenaline behind your muscles, you push at his chest, forcing him to back into a moving cart. The noise alerts the entire area and within seconds it turns to chaos.

You take off in a sprint down the hall, leaving the sounds of screams and yells behind you. Each turn you come upon, you run to the wall and push yourself off of it, maintaining momentum in your run. As you take another turn, you throw a glance behind you. Security guards are close behind you, as well as a few men dressed in white coats, seemingly doctors aiding in the chase.

An alarm blares loudly throughout the hospital, red lights blinking slowly at every corner. You ignore them all, focused on improvising an escape plan.

As you turn another corner, you're faced with a set of double doors. With no other choice, apart from the army of men behind you, you barge through the doors.

You thank the high being that it's an open spaced cafeteria. More space to run, more visualisation, more shit to throw, and most importantly, fewer hallways to get lost in.

People scream and scatter out of their chairs as you vault over tables. Every chance you get, you flick trays and food behind you in an attempt to slow down those behind you. You make the quick and random decisions to leap over tables to either side of you, making it even harder for the chasers to predict your direction.

However, more men come from the opposite direction and appear a few tables before you. Without thinking, you pick up a tray of food and throw it at them. They throw their arms up to deflect the tray and in turn lose sight of you for just a second.

You take the opportunity to take a sharp turn in the other direction. Unfortunately for you, the only direction left for you to go is through another set of doors that no doubt leads to another maze of hallways.

The second you go through the doors, you duck down, avoiding the few crackling electricity sticks that jab towards you. You slip underneath one, tripping the guy in the process and creating a roadblock of a few seconds.

You bolt to the left, tossing things nearby onto the ground, leaving a maze of objects behind you. Every cart you pass by gets toppled onto the ground and earns you the precious seconds you desire.

You’re so focused on the people around you that you don’t notice thin white cloth wrapping around you. It snaps tight around you before you can even think. Your arms are pinned to your side and your legs are immobilised, causing you to fall flat to the ground.

As soon as you land on the ground, grunting from impact, electricity violently courses throughout you as multiple electrical batons prod at you. You blackout in seconds.

~*~

Your senses return much quicker the second time around. As soon as the bright light enters your eye, you jolt up, scrambling off of the cold metal table.

Pain is the only thing you feel. Pain pumping through your veins and making you shiver from movement. You back yourself against a wall, your hand instinctively curling around your stomach as nausea arises.

Before you are the purple haired Doctor Shinsou and the recognisable dark dressed man with a large scarf hiding his neck. He has a hand on his scarf and knees bent whilst Shinsou has his hands up in a surrendering manner.

“It’s okay. We’re not gonna hurt you.” He says.

You glare at him in disbelief. “Oh really now?” You grimace as you speak, sharp pain erupts from the side of your neck, just below your jaw. When you touch it, you can feel raised, jarred skin.

“You were shocked by 4 electrical batons. That one on your neck is the most severe one because of the skin contact.” Shinsou informs as he watches your hand shake above the wound.

“So much for not harming me.” You scoff.

“Those guys were from a different department.” The unknown man speaks up. “They run on different protocols.”

You spend a few seconds staring at him, watching as he lowers his hands by his side. Recognition prods your mind. “You were the one to capture me.”

The guy breathes in. “For now call me Eraserhead. We’d like for you to join us in the conference room down the hall. We’ll discuss everything there.”

“Why do I get the feeling there’s more than the three of us here?”

Shinsou, having put his hands down to his sides, answers you. “There’s only one more person and he’s waiting at the conference room. No more harm will come to you. Promise.”

You scrutinise his expression. The genuineness of his statement. Despite the short time you’ve talked with him, he seems genuine and reliable. So, on the little info you have, and with the foreign situation you are in, you decide your best bet for now is to trust him.

Shinsou walks out first, gesturing to you with a soft smile. Slowly, you stand up straight and start walking. You suppress the grimace as your leg shudders beneath you, most likely another wound area. With a deep breath, you push through the pain and limp out of the room. Eraserhead follows you closely.

The hallway is quiet, save for a few people here and there whispering to each other. Their eyes drift to you as you walk past them. You can feel their anger towards you and their disgust, you’re thankful the walk through the hallway is a short one.

Shinsou pushes open a door and steps aside to let you in. As soon as you set foot in the room, you analyse the room. It’s completely bare, save for the large oval table and the dozen-plus chairs surrounding it. Seated on one end of the table is a police officer. He has a brown coat thrown over his uniform. A matching brown hat sits on the table in front of him. His black hair is practically melded with his scalp, barely any strands sticking out. Your first impression of him isn’t the greatest and you decide to remain overly cautious.

“Hello.” He greets you as you walk in, almost like he was expecting you at that very second. It unnerves you. He gestures to the chair beside him. “Take a seat.”

You carefully step towards him. “I’d rather stand.” The scratchiness of your voice is still present, but you opt to ignore it.

He nods in understanding. “You can call me Tsukauchi.” You nod once, eyes glaring into his. “I’m sure you have questions.”

“I’m sure you have answers.” You fire back at him with a monotonous voice.

“I do. First I’d like to clear up the situation you're in at the moment. You are in a hospital north-”

“I already know that.” You nod towards Shinsou. “He explained that to me. I’m in northeast Tokyo. I wanna know why I’m here. And how I got here.”

Tsukauchi nods. “We’ve been keeping a close eye on you for a few weeks now. You’re known as the vigilante Shadow, aren't you? You’ve been in and out of activity for years.” Every word that he speaks increases your concern, but you fight to keep your expression neutral. “You’ve taken down thugs and criminals, but you’ve also stolen from civilians off the street.”

“Ok, imma stop you right there. I didn’t just steal from civilians, I also stole from those criminals.”

“You still stole from them.”

“Because I had to.” Your voice grows louder.

“Why?”

“Because-!” You stop yourself. You almost told him about the mall. Taking a deep breath, you start again. “I had to survive.”

It aggravates you the way he nods, as if he understands. “Like I said, we’ve been watching you. We apprehended you because we decided it would be best to approach you.”

“And you didn't try talking first?”

“We tried that. But as you can tell, that didn’t go well.”

Your mouth opens to speak, but you close it, realising he’s right. But another question surges through you. “Ok, then why were an army of police on standby in the area if you just wanted to talk?”

“We predicted your behaviour.” Throughout the entire chat, he’s remained calm and it irritates you to no end.

You scoff and shake your head. “Is there a point to this talk?”

Tsukauchi bends down to pull out a folder. “We believe you have potential.”

Worry sets in. “Potential for what?”

He slides the folder over to you. “Potential to become a hero.”

The room is silent. You stare at him in disbelief, despite your best efforts to keep a neutral face. The silence only lasts a couple of seconds however, as you burst into laughter.

“I’m sorry? Potential to become a hero?! What the actual fuck?! Haha! Weren’t you berating me as a vigilante fucking two minutes ago?” You double both in pain and laughter wheezing and gasping between breaths.

“Yes. Amongst everyone else, I see potential in you.” Tsukauchi waits a few seconds for you to catch your breath. “You’ve shown initiative in criminal activity. You are quick to rush in and protect civilians.”

“That’s because no one else is willing to, and there’s no police around to help them so I choose to step in.”

“Exactly.”

For a few seconds, you’re in deep thought about his words. He’s right. You have shown initiative, but does that really categorise you as a hero? If that's the case, then can’t everyone be a hero?

You look down at the folder on the table. Tentatively, you take a seat next to Tsukauchi, and open the folder.

Concealed inside is a small stack of papers. A small paragraph is printed on each page, addressing you and claiming that you agree to the terms and conditions that follow. On the bottom is a line with your name underneath. As you skin through each page, you come across to a highly detailed table chart.

“By signing these forms, you agree to a temporary deal in which you will live with Eraserhead and follow his rules.” You snap your attention to Tsukauchi, eyes bulging from distress. With a glance towards Eraserhead, who confirms with a nod, you sink further into the seat.

Tsukauchi continues. “You must agree to no vigilante activity whilst in his care. You’ll be monitored every minute of every day as long as you're in his care.”

“That chart in your hands,” Eraserhead speaks up, gesturing to the detailed chart in your hands. You take another look at it, noticing the times lined against each row and the days lined above each column. “It’s a timetable which I’ve set out for you to follow. You do exactly what it says to, and you won’t get charged for any of your vigilante crimes.”

“I’m getting charged?!” You stand up with shock and rage. Tsukauchi and Eraserhead jump to a stand as well. “So you’re saying that I either take up this so-called ‘opportunity’, or I get sent to prison for however long you deem fit? Sounds like a fucking threat if you ask me!”

“Hey, it’s alright. I pro-”

“It’s not alright!” You turn to Shinsou, fighting to keep back the tears building up behind your eyes. “None of this is okay! I’m being stripped of my freedom, all for what? To keep an eye on my behaviour?!” You turn to Tsukauchi, staring him down with a firm expression. “I have responsibilities to uphold.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure they can be put on hold for a while.” He says.

“They can’t!”

Minutes pass by, the tension in the air running thick. You run your hand through your hair, sighing with frustration and surrender before fixing your posture. “What I’m about to say, does not leave this room.”

“If you agree to the contract-”

You snap your gaze to Eraserhead. “If I agree to this contract I will keep up my end. But you have to keep up yours.”

He stares at you for a few seconds before nodding, allowing you to continue.

Your heart thunders in your chest with nerves and irritation. Tears threaten to fall but you remain stubborn as ever. With a deep breath, you let it out. “There is an abandoned mall on the outskirts of Tokyo. It’s where I and a ton of other homeless people stay. We're like a family. We protect each other and help where necessary. There are some people like me who’ve rescued kids from all sorts of situations, and those kids form a bond with us. A bond that acts like a lifeline. It’s their emotional lifeline.” Without noticing, a tear falls from your eye. After furiously rubbing at your eyes, you continue. “It’s impossible for me to leave them. Not while their emotional stability is still fragile. I’m sure you know enough of psychology to understand that.”

The room is silent as the three males ponder your revelation. They look between each other, wondering what to say, what to do with the new information. Sure, there were rumors of more people like you, but to hear the information come from you was different; it was no longer a rumor.

“This timetable isn’t possible for me to follow. I need some time with the mall. I need to let the kids know that I’m still there for them.”

Tsukauchi looks to Eraserhead. “It’s your call.”

Eraserhead sighs deeply as all eyes turn on him expectantly. “I’ll allow a one hour visit two days a week.”

“Three days.” You interject.

Dark eyes glare at you, but you remain stubborn and strong against his eyes. The sigh he lets go of borders on a growl. “One hour visits, three days a week. With supervision.” He enunciated the last sentence, indicating there would be no objections.

Despite your desire to argue, you know it’ll be useless. So, putting on a tough persona, you pick up the contract folder and practically shove it under his nose. “I want that in writing.”

The man remains still, half-lidded eyes staring at you for what seems like hours. It feels as if he’s stabbing you with just his gaze alone. Finally, he snatches the folder out of your hands and slaps it down on the table. He then takes a nearby pen and begins to furiously write on one of the papers. Once scribbling his signature, he steps back, allowing you to inspect his writing.

You do so, ensuring each word says as it's supposed to. Eraserhead holds out the pen to you. After some hesitance, you take the pen and lean down. The pen hovers over the paper. Your heart beats hard, you can feel it in your throat as if it's ready to spew out at any moment. You take a few steady breaths, your hand shaking the pen slightly. One more deep breath, and you put the pen to the paper.

Each letter written feels wrong, incriminating and abandoning. It feels exactly how you expected it; like your freedom was slipping away with each pen stroke.

As soon as you write the last letter, you stand up, the pen falling from your limp fingers.

Tsukauchi takes the folder and pockets it into his briefcase below the table. “I believe Dr. Shinsou wanted to do a last check-up. He’ll also be the one that will be attaching the ankle monitor. We’ll be using that to monitor you.”

You simply nod, the will to argue no longer there. You follow Shinsou out the room, head tilted down in both shame and surrender.

Your mind is numb, barely registering anything said to you. As Shinsou gestures for you to sit atop the examination table, you take notice of the nurse. The same nurse as before, this time with a bandage across her nose.

She appears reluctant to be near you, you can see her hands shake as they reach out to apply the blood pressure strap.

“I’m sorry.” Your apology is quiet but startles the woman. However, a smile eases on her face.

“It’s ok.” She replies, voice slightly hitched due to the bandage. “I would’ve done the same thing.”

The conversation is left at that. Shinsou and the nurse, who said her name was Sakura, do the basics, heart, lungs, eyes, ears. After completing them, Shinsou appears with a steel bracelet with a small box attached to it.

He doesn't get the chance to speak as you lift up your ankle. He peers into your eyes, taking note of the dread-filled gaze that appears to stare at nothing. With a sigh, he carefully clips the bracelet into place.

“Is it too tight?” His only response is a light shrug. He can’t help but feel bad for you. He proceeds to press and hold a button. The device turns on at the action, a small light on the box flicks on as two small beeps sound. As soon as that's done, Shinsou guides you out of the room.

When you step out, you are approached by a long blonde haired male, a gloved hand sticking out towards you.

“Hello listener!” His voice is loud and overly excited, but you barely pay any mind to him. He observes your mute behaviour and turns to his husband. Eraserhead simply shakes his head.

“This is my husband Yamada. You can call me Aizawa.” He says as he walks away.

You follow him without delay, mindlessly pocketing the info.

The drive is silent and tense. You stare out the window the entire trip, watching as the environment passes by. There’s no thoughts running through your mind, nothing to think about but the dread and disappointment of letting the mall down.

You barely register you’ve stopped, so induced in your negativity that you don’t notice that Aizawa is before you, waiting for you to step out.

The house is two stories tall, a small wood fence outlining the property. It’s a fairly modern-looking house, a front porch stretching a metre out the front yard. It’s decently sized, looking to fit a modern family of five.

Entering the house, you register a lounge room and kitchen across from each other from the front house, then straight ahead are stairs leading up to the second floor. Beside that is a hallway which you are told leads to a bathroom and laundry.

Your gaze wanders to the kitchen, where you find a black cat sitting on the bench, staring at you with yellow eyes.

“Oh, that’s Jelly. We have another cat named Muffin, she’s nicer than Jelly, he likes to scratch.” The Yamada explains. His smile drops however as your gaze falls to the floor. “How about I show you to your room?” He gestures upstairs.

You shrug, allowing him to lead you upstairs. He turns down the hall to a room at the end. “Here it is!” He opens the door, his green eyes shining with delight.

You peer into the room, gazing at the layout. A double bed is pressed up against a wall, a small table on each side. A desk lays opposite the bed, small and bare. Sliding doors in the wall indicate a wardrobe. It’s bare of anything and feels completely unnatural to you.

“It used to be a spare room, but now that you’re here it’s all yours! Don’t worry we have another.”

You ignore him and walk into the room, taking a seat on the bed.

“Hey,” His voice is significantly dialled down in both tone and volume as he approaches you. “I know this may seem scary, but we’re here to help you. Aizawa may seem like a blunt and harsh guy, but he’ll come around. Eventually.” He then kneels down before you, a soft smile on his face, his glasses on the tip of his nose. “Technically my name is Aizawa-Yamada but that’s for legal purposes. We’re teachers and figured it’d be easier for the students to separate us. That and Aizawa doesn’t like our relationship to be public information. If you’d like, you can call me by my first name, Hisashi.”

You nod, numbly tucking away the information. You jolt slightly as Hisashi places a hand on your knee.

“Why don’t you get some rest? The drugs from the hospital are probably still in effect.”

With a gentle squeeze, he stands up and exits the room, closing the door behind him. In the end, he was right. You take the time to realise how foggy your mind is and how exhausted your limbs feel.

Having no choice in the matter, you lay down on the bed.

You stare at the ceiling, the silence of the room overcoming your senses. It’s then that everything seems to properly set in your mind. Tears cascade down the side of your face, and you do what you can to silence your sobs.

You told them everything you didn’t want to. Although it gave you something, you still risked the safety of everyone. You may have just caused their demise. All for what? What was the purpose of all this? To become a hero?

Did you want to be a hero? Is it worth all this?

What would everyone think when you visited them? Aizawa would no doubt be supervising you. And if he wasn’t, the device on your ankle would surely broadcast your position.

What else was the device for? Could it hear you? Could it see what you were doing? Could it harm you?

Your mind whirls with unanswered questions, each question that rises allows another tear to fall from your eyes. Sleep comes quickly, haunting you with all of the day's events.

When you wake with a jolt, you wish for it all to be just that. A simple nightmare, something that Dabi could soothe away. But that wish shatters as you look around. The room was too spacious, the view was too pretty, the walls were too new, and the device around your ankle was still annoyingly present.

[enduringsea]

( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet​ ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo  all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse�� don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone  i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada  are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer 

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER... 

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

[thisisthedungeonthatneverends]

So Close No Matter How Far

Ship: promptis

Rating: T

Words: 455

“Prompto, wait!” he shouted and ran after him through the twisting hall filled with crates and broken MT parts. He must be terrified, Noctis though. Terrified of the deamons, of Ardyn, of the tight spaces he had to navigate. Terrified, perhaps, of Noctis himself.

Inspired by a glitch @moonraccoon-exe got and talked about 5ever ago on his blog where Not-Prompto froze while Noctis was chasing him and he was able to catch up to him. I thought it was creepy.

Ardyn’s voice echoed in his panicked head. “Friends… Prompto… Deamons...” Just scattered words that caught his attention. He’d managed to tune out most of the Chancellor’s ramblings, intent of fighting his way through the labyrinth of cramped corridors in search of his boyfriend. The thought of Prompto lost and probably unarmed in this hell-scape drove him onward.

The glowing energy of yet another deamon’s life-force swirled through the air and into the Ring as yet another goblin dissipated. Out of the corner of his eye, Noctis caught a flash of red plaid fabric and blond hair.

“Prompto, wait!” he shouted and ran after him through the twisting hall filled with crates and broken MT parts. He must be terrified, Noctis though. Terrified of the deamons, of Ardyn, of the tight spaces he had to navigate. Terrified, perhaps, of Noctis himself. What if Prompto didn’t know the truth? What if he still believed Noctis was angry at him, hated him even? He had to catch him. He had to tell him it was all a trick, that he still loved him and would never abandon him again. That he was sorry for everything.

Noctis rounded yet another corner at such a high speed he nearly crashed into a stack of crates. He nearly froze when he saw Prompto. His lover stood motionless and silent, not even his chest moved to indicate he was even breathing, even though he should be out of breath from running.

“Prompto?” Noctis spoke softly and carefully, approaching Prompto from the right side. He wasn’t even blinking, Noctis noticed as he got closer. “Prompto, it’s me, can you hear me,” he whispered. Tears streamed down his dirty face when he was met with more silence. “Prompto, please!” Prompto stood still as a statue, not breathing, not blinking.

When Noctis looked closely at his face, he jumped back in shock. Prompto’s normally bright and expressive eyes stared into an invisible void, lifeless and dull. Thin red rings glowed around his dilated pupils.

Noctis shook his head slowly. “No. No, no nononono PROMPTO!” Noctis wrapped his arms around Prompto, who at this point was decidedly not Prompto, but Noctis didn’t care. He clung to him and wept into his shoulder. “Prompto, I’m sorry. I’m sorry! I love you, please Prompto...”

“Aw, how touching,” Came Ardyn’s sinister voice. “So close yet so far away.”

“SHUT UP!” Noctis screamed. “Shut up, YOU did this!”

“Did I? If I remember correctly it was you who abandoned your precious lover on the side of the tracks. You’d better find him… before my deamons do.”

Noctis looked one last time at the image that looked so much like Prompto but wasn’t. “I’ll find you. I’ll save you. I promise!”

[sparklezoi]

Survey from @sailorzakuro and @missemperor

Might as well play. Not tagging anyone. Do it if you want to.

1. What is your hobby?

Writing, drawing, trying to do crafts, singing karaoke, playing with my cat, reading... I don't do any of those as often as I would like.

2. What is your special skill?

Editing together the daily video in like 2 hours every day 😛

3. What are your strengths and weaknesses?

I'm smarter than the average goat and I like to think I'm a pretty good writer, although I still wanna improve. I'm a good ear when people are sad or upset. I think my being eccentric is a strength, too. However, I have low self-esteem, anxiety and depression, all of which really holds me back. Also, I'm not a very good singer, which kills me because I love to do it so much. Oh, and I suck at athletics, like really badly.

4. What is your favorite color?

Green probably. Especially forest, lime and olive.

5. What is your favorite animal?

Goats and cats

6. Which food are you into lately?

Cheese. I could eat cheese all day.

7. What is the thing you never lose to from anyone?

I have no idea what this question means. 😅

8. What is your most treasured item?

I'm gonna count my whole anime cel collection as one item, if that's allowed.

9. What is your cooking specialty?

Quesadillas and chocolate-peanut butter-banana smoothies

10. What is the thing you want the most at the moment?

A new tattoo, and to commission Kunzoi art

11. What is the thing you are most scared of?

Failure

12. What is the thing you were happy about this year?

Hanging out with siblings

13. What is the thing you were sad about this year?

Not having a SO 😭

14. What is the thing you regretted this year?

Not writing enough

15. What is the thing you were angry about this year?

Rampant racism, sexism, homophobia, xenophobia, etc. that has been spreading in the world more and more, recently. 😡

16. What is the job that gave you a sense of fulfillment this year?

I don't have a job right now, and it's been months since I had one. I hope I get one soon.

17. What has changed about you since you entered com-myu-nity?

My singing confidence has actually gone down. 😭

18. Which character would you play in Sera myu?

If you have to ask, you obviously don't know me very well, LOL. (Zoisite)

19. If you were to form a collab now, who would it be with?

Nobody. I lack confidence in my singing.

20. What do you love about Sera Myu nowadays?

So many Dark Kingdom plays being done lately! Although the Super Live had only Ichitennou, which is laem... And there's tooooooo much SenxShi in my, which is even worse. But that wasn't the question. Moving along...

21. Which cast member catches your attention the most at the moment?

Sari Kojima

22. Which cast member would you want as your significant other?

I don't know enough about any of them to say that.

23. If you were to marry a cast member, who would it be?

See above answer.

24. If you would go to a deserted island, which cast member would you like to go with you?

Whoever knows how to survive on/escape from a deserted island!

25. If you would be born again, which cast member would you want to be?

I... don't think it's possible to be reincarnated as someone who already exists...

26. Which Sera Myu production would you want to be a part of? 

A new one, so I'm not booting anyone out of a role

27. If you would create your own kingdom, what kind of country would you want it to be? 

A liberal Utopia

28. What is an interesting book or manga you read recently?

The Alienist. No, it's not about space aliens. It's a crime story.

29. What is an interesting movie you watched recently?

I can't for the life of me remember what it's called! It was a very strange Japanese movie about an equally strange family. My fave part was when one of the characters talked about walking in the forest looking for eggs, and he found what he thought was a huge egg. For some reason, he shat on it, and after that he was followed by the ghost of a murdered Yakuza guy, because the "big egg" was the guy's partly buried skull that he had shat on. Told you it's a weird movie.

30. What is your favorite Sera Myu song at the moment?

Galaxia Gorgeous

31. What is your favorite Sera Myu song choreography at the moment? 

I dunno. I'm very much not a dance person. I honestly can't tell good dancing from bad.

32. What is your favorite Sera Myu costume at the moment?

I loved when there were those ladies dressed as objects from Usagi's room. Those were fun costumes.

33. What is your favorite Myu at the moment?

I dunno! I haven't seen them all. I have a soft spot for Gaiden cuz it acknowledged Kunzoi, but I really wouldn't call it my fave.

34. What is your favorite Myu cast?

I would mix and match. There's no one cast I love every member of.

35. Is there something you say a lot recently?

Recently? I'm not aware of anything I say just recently. I tell my cat I love him about a hundred times a day, and I say fuck a lot when angry or frustrated, but those are not new.

36. What would you do if you could plan a Fan Kansha?

Invite back all my fave actors and have people singing songs they don't usually.

37. What do you hope to see Sera Myu doing in the future? 

More original stories! Also, do the R movie as a Myu. I wanna see Fiore on stage.

38. What kind of person do you want to be in 5 years? 

A published author

39. What has been a memorable concert or event this year?

I went to see Into the Woods a few months ago.

40. What do you want to do in your private life this year?

I want to write/draw/create more, get a job and an SO, learn to budget and save money, maybe go to a concert or something... and get my wifi back. I hate doing everything on my phone.

41. What kind of job would you like to do in the future?

Published author

42. Do you have a hairstyle you would like to try in the future?

I would like to dye my hair again and buy more wigs.

43. What Sera Myu merchandise would you love to have?

All the Shitennou stuff... What little of it there is...

44. Where would you want Sera Myu to come to?

I would rather be able to go to it than have it come here. People here, well, a lot of them are very xenophobic and wouldn't go watch a show in Japanese. If they did it here in English I would still want the Senshi to be played by East Asians, because I prefer no whitewashing, please.

45. If you could have a holiday with any cast member, what do you want to do?

Let's have a Halloween party! But whom to invite?

46. Please say something to your favourite cast member.

Aaah, so hard to pick just one! Um, I guess I'll go with Sari Kojima for sake of just getting this thing done. I want to tell her one thing: Kunzoi 5ever! Er, please?

[marshmallowgoop]

Sorry I’ve been taking 5ever with asks lately!

I’m still accepting requests to write about any scene in Kill la Kill. My broken computer just finally completely fried a few days ago, and I don’t have my slightly-less-broken older one with me at the moment, so I kind of had a crisis over here!

But! I bit the bullet and bought that new computer that I’ve needed for like half a year. And my amazing dad managed to save my hard drive and all my un-backed-up files!! I’m still copying stuff over and getting things set up, but I should be back to writing soon!

(Gosh, though. I really hate getting new computers. I just. Have so much stuff.)

(THESE 6,848 ITEMS AREN’T EVEN MY ENTIRE GIF FOLDER.)

[maris-a-writer-now]

30 Questions Tag

Whoops I got tagged to do this like 5ever ago, saved it, and then proceeded to forget, like a dummy lol. So I was tagged by @gamerwoo thank you v much bb 💘💘💘💘

nickname: rissa, Mari, ris, i had a groupchat where they called me dad. That was lit

zodiac: Leo

height: 5’5 yeet

age: twenty one boi

time: 1:23 am

favourite band/artist: my four ult groups are Monsta X, ikon, seventeen, got7, I also enjoy Stray kids, exo, and then I also like a lot of rap, some indie rock, pop punk. You know the usual

song stuck in my head: bring it by hoshi and Woozi. It’s so catchy and I can’t help but have it in my brain 25/8.

last movie i watched: my neighbor Totoro

last thing i googled: I googled cherry blossom festivals in Korea and Japan

other blogs: I don’t have any yeet. I was gonna make one but I decided why not just keep the mess how it is already

do i get asks: I do more than I used to, and I love everyone that sends me asks, you guys are great!!!

why i chose this username: well cause I’m gay and I love Jiwon

following: I went on a huge unfollow spree not too long ago, but I still follow too many to feel comfortable exposing 😂😂

amount of sleep i usually get: very few hours. Idk like 4 actual hours

lucky number: 5

what I’m wearing: a pair of men’s boxers that have polar bears on them, and a black sweater

dream job: a touring photographer, or a translator

favorite food: bibimbap

instruments: guitar and ukulele

sports: used to, but none now

hair color: Brown cause I’m poor and basic

eye color: blue with a yellow ring yeet

most iconic song: either ring ding dong by shinee or shining diamond by svt

languages i speak/learn: i only speak idiomatic English and a very small small small amount of korean. (I’m actually fluent in English but I still suck with it.)

random fact: I’m planning on going back to college to get a degree in foreign language

describe yourself as aesthetic things: red cheeks, vhs tape static, combat boots, ripped jeans, cheap vodka, being cold even in three jackets, sitting outside late at night to watch stars, oversized hoodies, cheap Chinese food (if that’s even an aesthetic. I just really like cheap Chinese food)

favourite songs: flower by svt, magic shop by bts, yeah that’s it really lol

I’m gonna taaaaag @jhopespanda @kpopruinesmylife @jjooheoney @shelovesjinani and whoever else wants to do this lol

[shineyma]

I watched an interview segment where Daniela describes the day her water broke (during her first pregnancy I think) and Eric was out with his brother, so Daniella went over to Eric's house, and Eric's wife had to call Eric and ask him to buy Daniela some pads to avoid a big mess for the ride to the hospital maybe, and Eric asked, "Tampon pads?" Daniella's recount was hilarious.

I've written a whole lot beyond this point, do maybe a second ask is in order. That way you could ignore it (you really could), post only your reply or put it under a read more. It's more work for you but I still feel bad about the space that ask about Sam's family takes up on your blog. I did not think it through. (1/2)

lol, I appreciate the consideration, nonnie! Part two of your ask is under the cut. And lol to that interview quote!!

Kensi is back before the end of S05 turns out. I thought she gave birth in the spring, so I figured we had sevedal episodes to go with her on the special assignment. Then I read she gave birth in December, when things seemed to come to a head during the episode the team rescues her and it seemed just too soon. It's amazing that both she and the show's team managed to give Kensi as much screentime as they did. This Afghanistan storyline had me hooked actually. I was a bit sad that it was over as quickly. Despite the limitations and the fact that I love the team together, seeing Kensi star in a side story running parallel to the main plot, without the others stealing into it, was great. The story was fascinating, Kensi's dynamic with Granger and Sabatino was interesting to watch, the connection to her past a nice touch. Bonus points to the writers for not attempting a love triangle and for writing Jack becoming a Muslim and saying he found peace in it. I do also appreciate the few times immigrants they've interrogated have told them off about the U.S. 'intervention' in the Middle East and Callen, Sam or whoever it was just kept their mouth shut and you could see they did so because they couldn't deny those accusations. It's quite surprising and nice. Back to Kensi, I wish they'd taken a couple more episodes to give her Afghanistan storyline a slower closure. It seemed too rushed. I would have liked to see her more in action, trying to save Jack and herself, parallel to the team's rescue attempt. It could have at least been a two-parter. Still glad we got it at all.

One complaint I have is about Deeks. I don't know if I'm being dramatic here but I feel they've been mistreating him far too much. It's not so much about Kensi because they've developed their own kind of banter and Kensi shows him how much she cares. Although, remember right before Kensi left for Afghanistan, the day after the night we're supposed to assume they slept together, she was hostage to someone they were chasing and he was using her as a human shield, and Deeks didn't take the shot. Remember how she punched him? I'm still angry and bitter she did that, let alone that she didn't apologize, let even more alone that she acted as though what she did was right. I fully understand what the reasoning behind it all is or is supposed to be, but it was so wrong. And then, to circle back, I hate the way Callen and Sam have been treating Deeks since the moment he joined the team. It took Deeks withstanding torture and not giving up Michelle, torture that left him traumatized, for Sam to let up on the 'teasing'. I'm not even touching Callen, who actually tried to get Sam to stop being soft on Deeks 'just because of what Deeks did for Michelle and because he misses his partner who's gone on a dangerous special assignment'. Maybe I'm being dramatic but I really think the line on the teasing they give Deeks has been crossed a long time ago and I don't think they're ever going to show any remorse for it.

There was this show I got into when it was already on S14. One of the main characters that was there since S02 left and it wasn't the actor's choice. It was my favorite character out of the entire show. Anyway, I was binging S11 when the news broke. I finished it and that was it for me. They were my comfort character and I tried to watch the next two seasons they were still in but two episodes in, I stopped. I don't know why? Keeping new content of them for the future? Not wanting to watch about 40 hours more of them knowing they are the last ever and it sucks? It's been a few years since then and I haven't regretted it so far. It somehow feels right that I didn't reach the end of that character. And I've done it with other shows too. Once I got past my obsessive need to see shows and franchises through, quiting things became easy and a good tactic when something you loved decides to change the things you love most about it.

I'm sorry about Nell. It sucks. And hopefully the drama in your life is not too bad. I had some of it too, so my binging turned slow as molasses (is it even binging any more?) when it started off so well. And then the drama was capped with that very final, very irreversible bad thing that happens and the world just turns a little dimmer, the colors and just all of it a bit duller. Hence, also, my rudely late replies. Hopefully, your drama is at least a few or several steps away from that.

Oh, chef's kiss for Nell and Nallen in 5x05 ('cute girls with guns') and 5x14 or 5x15 (you know, with Nell fighting that guy in the boatshed's interrogation room and then Callen lowering her gently to the ground and brushing her hair back and all that Nallen goodness). I'd actually seen gifs of the second thing before but none had the fight and I hadn't paid attention to the episode number or even season, so I was very pleasantly surprised and miiiiight have replayed it a half dozen times. (2/2)

I also enjoyed what they did with Jack, although I feel like they never really resolve Hetty's part in things. Like....dick move, Hetty. Very dick move. And minor spoiler, but Sabatino returns, and while the entire team seems to hate him 5ever, I actually really like him lol. He's funny! And cute.

You are not alone in feeling that Deeks is mistreated by the guys, nonnie! There are whole communities of Deeks fans that hate it a LOT. I definitely feel like they cross the line sometimes....but conversely, I feel like Deeks crosses the line pretty often himself. I think in general the writers aren't great at judging when too much is enough, you know? But yeah, that doesn't stop anytime soon, I'm afraid.

Awwwww, I'm sorry you had that experience before with a show, nonnie! But yeah, sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do. It's better, I think, than continuing to drag it out and watching when you're not enjoying it anymore....then it's too easy to become bitter and then you can't even enjoy the earlier parts you used to love.

I'm also sorry you had drama followed by something worse! I hope things are getting better for you <3 For myself, things got very busy at work and then I was impacted by Hurricane Ida, which chased me out of state for two weeks while I waited for power and water to be restored to my apartment. I spent those two weeks living minutes from my mom and brother, which was nice but has had the impact that now I miss them a lot more than I did before.....like somehow I got used to living away from them and being close erased that adjustment? And now I'm not as good at it as I used to be. In fact, I'm actively hoping for my employer to have an opening there so I can transfer back. So I've been very emotional lately, on top of which the ongoing recovery from Ida meant more work for me at my job.

Whew, didn't mean to rant about that! Sorry.

And yessssssss, those are some of the BEST Nallen moments!!! I loooove him tenderly brushing her hair out of her face. That's probably my second favorite--or third favorite, there are two things coming that are tied for first favorite. So you've got that to look forward to!!

Sorry this took so long, nonnie! I hope life is going well this week! <3

[eeveedel]

Your tags in the louis for observer post OMG someone write a fic!!

lord jesus forgive me.

so, like, three-ish weeks ago, I reblogged this photoset. and in the tags, I wrote this: I LOVE THIS SINGLE FATHER OF FOUR MULTIBILLIONAIRE BUSINESS MOGUL WHO’S FUCKING THE NANNY

so like, um, I wrote about it. and it’s…a lot. but I hope all my sub harry hoes out there enjoy this one. (especially @hrrytomlinson, I promised this to you 5ever ago) 

this contains: nsfw content, daddy kink (welp), dom/sub overtones, subspace, and a lottttt of dirty talk. also, the kinks/negotiation are all off screen with this one, as it is an established relationship. please take care. also, unedited. you know the deal with my drabbles, they’re all a mess. idk just…fuck it man enjoy. 

—

Louis heard the car pull up in the driveway a half hour before he was expecting it.

Normally, he’d be upstairs in his sound-proofed-to-all-hell office, where nothing in the world could bother him save for a direct knock on the door that surely signaled the end of the world, since there was no other reasonable excuse to disturb Louis in his office.

But today, he was at smallest dining table – out of a total of three – in the house, enjoying the sunshine that bled through the long French windows that lined the back end of the house. He had his afternoon work spread out in front of him, a glass of lemonade spiked with something  sitting next to his elbow, and he had his two handhelds on silent for the next hour.

Nothing could disturb him, except for the sound of tires on the back driveway just outside.

Louis sighed and stood up, tilting his neck to the side to hear the bones crack back into place. He grabbed his drink and then went to the window, gazing out past the pool and to the back garden gate. The gate hadn’t opened yet, but he could see movement over the fence.

It was a short walk from the back door to the garden’s walkway. He would meet them.

He went out, smiling as the sun hit his face. It got in his eyes, but he just squinted against it and took a moment to sip his drink as he listened to the noise in the driveway. The squeak of trainers against the pavement, the sound of high voices and one very deep one.

“Alright, alright,” the deep voice chuckled, “Come here, my little duckies. Line up.”

Louis smiled again to himself and kept his eyes closed as he heard more trainers-on-the-pavement noises. He could picture the four little figures in his mind shifting and lining up patiently, ready to listen.

“Harry,” one voice piped up, “I think left my clarinet in the shop.”

“No, darling, I have it right here,” the deep voice answered, “Your reeds are getting old, too, we’ll go to the music shop tomorrow, alright?”  

“Oh, yes, thank you!”

“You’re welcome, my love. Does everyone else have all their things out of the car?”

There were some voices of agreement, a pleased coo in return, and then more feet were moving, and Louis finally opened his eyes and made himself walk forward, down the garden’s walkway.

As the back gate became unlatched, he took a moment to observe everything in the few seconds he had before the people coming inside saw him.

All his daughters were in a tight little knot as they tumbled through the garden, chattering to each other and pulling each other along by their hands. Olivia had her sticker-covered clarinet case in her hand, her good music practice skirt hopelessly wrinkled. Her twin, Clara, trailed next to her, like always, her hair in a complicated braid only she would have the energy to sit through being done . Jessica was running after them, wearing Clara’s hand-me-down purple glittery trainers that were falling to pieces but she still insisted on wearing. Ella, who was five now and perfectly capable of walking on her own, was being carried, wearing a Princess Leia t-shirt over her green tutu, her thumb contentedly in her mouth as her cheek rested on the shoulder of her protector.

Louis loved his family, he did. He was lucky that he and Bebe had settled their marriage on good terms and their divorce was smooth, smooth enough that he had more than enough time with his girls during his custody months in the summer and then on his allotted holidays.  But he certainly didn’t get many days he got to beat them coming home and could greet them at the door.

But damn it if he wasn’t distracted every time they came home.

Because Harry was there, holding Ella so carefully in one arm and carrying a bag full of Nanny Things in his other hand. He was wearing a Britney Spears shirt tonight, because of course he was, with his loose fitting jeans and his black and white trainers. It was his “casual” outfit, his “corralling four girls who were nine years old and under” outfit. And yet he still sported gaudy, costume-worthy rings and a fresh coat of red nail polish.  

Clara noticed Louis first, and shrieked as she broke away from holding hands with Olivia as he sprinted towards the walkway.

“Papa!” she yelled, and Louis smiled and knelt down, taking care to set his glass aside on the grass before she crashed into his arms.

“Hello, my little Curie,” he smiled and kissed her forehead, and then opened up his other arm as Olivia came in for a hug, “And my little Sabine.”

He eventually tried to get to his feet, making them step back.

“Did you all have a good day?” he smiled, and then easily reached down to ruffle Jessica’s hair when she came up and grabbed his leg, demanding her own bit of attention. She was still small enough he could quickly grab her under her armpits, lift her up, and kiss the top of her head before setting her down. It made her giggle, and he smiled as he smoothed down her hair.

Then, Louis finally lifted his head and caught Harry’s eyes. The younger man just smiled softly back at him.

“Mr. Tomlinson, hello,” he said, “I didn’t know you’d be home early.”

“I thought I’d get out of the office,” Louis shrugged, “What’s the point in owning a company if you can’t work from home now and again, hm?”

Harry just nodded, and Ella lifted her head, blinking sleepily at Louis, a firm look on her face.

“Papa,” he murmured, and Harry laughed as Louis easily stepped forward, accepting his youngest from Harry’s arms.

“Hi, little love,” he said, kissing her cheek and bouncing her slightly so he could re-adjust her on his hip. He turned back to Harry, who was patiently waiting in the grass as Louis tended to all of his girls.

“You can go home early tonight if you’d like, Harry, I can cook dinner.”

“No, Harry, please stay!” Olivia immediately said, “You don’t have to go, do you?”

“Now, darling,” Louis sighed, brushing his hand over her head, “It’s Friday. I’m sure Harry has friends he’d like to go see tonight, hm?”

“Actually, no, I can stay,” Harry said, “I can help cook, and I can stay for dinner. And I promised Clara I would help her with her science fair project.”

“A science fair project in summer, hm?” Louis said, turning to Clara, “Did my little genius not want to tell me?”

“I was going to tell you, Papa!” she said, her eyes going wide as she looked up at him.  

“Mm, but you told Harry first, hm,” he hummed, “Is Harry your favorite, then?”

Her eyes went even wider and she started to stutter out something, but Louis just laughed and braced Ella in his arms so he could bend down and kiss her forehead.

“That’s alright if he is,” he smiled, “Harry’s quite lovely, I think so, too.”

Louis cut a quick glance to the other man, who had his lips pressed together in a poor attempt at hiding a smile, his cheeks flushed a lovely pink. Louis smiled back at him and then straightened up, finally setting Ella down on the grass.

“Alright, go on in,” he said, “The sooner we go in, the sooner we can eat.”

“Can’t we swim before dinner, Papa?” Jessica asked, and Harry’s voice piped out from behind Louis.

“You all heard your father. Go inside. I’m sure we’ll find something you can help with.”

Jessica didn’t even fight him, just looked over at him, pouted for one second, and then started a trudge towards the back door that almost made Louis laugh.

He glanced over his shoulder, mouthed “Thank you” at his nanny, and then followed his daughters inside.

He could hear Harry’s footsteps close behind him.

_

Dinner was over at six thirty, but between Harry helping Clara with her homework, Louis listening to Olivia play her new clarinet piece in the living room, Harry running coconut oil through the hopelessly knotted hair of one of Jessica’s American Girl dolls, and both of them giving Ella a bath, dinner didn’t get cleaned up until long after that.

At eight, Louis asked Harry if he could clean up, and of course he said yes and scurried downstairs. Louis went to Ella’s room, read her a story, and tucked her in and made sure her nightlight was turned on. He knocked on Jessica’s door and reminded her she had another half hour to stay up, and then he went to the twins’ room and told them they had an hour, and their lights needed to be off when he checked on them next. Then he went to his office, did another hour of work, and at nine thirty finally got up, stretched, and went down the hall.

All the lights in their bedrooms were off, so they were either behaving or reading under the covers with a flashlight. He had good girls, but he also had smart girls, and honestly he wasn’t going to protest Clara staying up to read another book on the moon or volcanos if that’s what she wanted to do.

He went down the steps, and followed the soft sound of running water into the kitchen.

Harry was stood at the sink, in a pair of rubber gloves and his casual clothes, the water running as he scrubbed up. It must have taken him awhile to put all the leftovers in the fridge and scrub every plate and glass, because he was just now getting to the pots and baking trays.

Louis came up behind him, and Harry didn’t flinch he Louis set a hand on his back, between his shoulder blades.

“Hello,” Louis hummed, and kissed Harry behind the ear.

“Hi,” Harry murmured back.

“Did you have a nice day?” Louis asked. He slid his hand over Harry’s slender hip and he sighed.

“It was alright. I’m tired.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault. The girls are wonderful, just a lot,” Harry shrugged, and kept scrubbing the plate in front of him. Louis took his wrist and pulled on it, kissing his neck.

“That’s enough of that.”

“I need to clean.”

“I’ll do it in the morning,” Louis said, “I can clean up for myself. I’m a divorcee.”

Louis kissed his neck firmly again and this time Harry sighed and pulled back. He took his washing up gloves off and set them on the side of the sink, and then grabbed a flannel to dry his hands a bit more before he turned back to Louis.

“Here,” Louis reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope, “Your payment for the week.”

Harry reached for it, turned it over, and then squinted at Louis.

“The envelope’s a little thick, don’t you think?” Harry said, and Louis sighed.

“Open it, alright.”

He did, and flushed when he looked inside. The envelope had his weekly check, alongside a long chain, capped with a little bejeweled tiger head. Louis had taken Harry on an outing with the girls the other day, feigning that he needed some extra help. While they were in town, Harry’s eyes had strayed for a moment to the window of some designer jewelry shop, for just a second. Of course Louis had noticed, and put the shop on his errands list for the next day.

“You need to return this,” Harry said.

“You like it.”

“Yes, but you need to return it.”

“Darling – “

“How much did it cost?” Harry said, “Hm?”

Louis sighed and shook his head.

“It was fifteen hundred pounds.”

Harry just blinked at him, and then promptly sealed up the envelope and gave it back to him.

“I can’t take that,” he said, “You give me a thousand a week and that’s already too much. If you want to give me the necklace, you have to take the check back.”

“But you can’t pay your rent or your groceries with a necklace,” Louis said, “And I’d rather not have you pawn it. I’d like to see you wearing it.”

Harry scoffed, “What else would you like from me, while you’re at this again?”

Louis wanted to groan. But he couldn’t. So he breathed in deeply and reached up, settling his hand on Harry’s hip again. He didn’t pull away.

“You know what I’d like, Harry,” he sighed, “I want you to move into my house and out of that student flat you’re too old for. I want you to become another father to my children, which quite frankly you already are. I want to take you to my company parties and all my trips and things. And as you know, I mostly want to spoil you.  I want your bank account to become my bank account, so you can buy all the nice things you want instead of refusing them when I give them to you.”

“I’m not a sugar baby,” Harry said, “I want to work for my income.”

“I can still help you.”

Harry shook his head.

“Let me find a job first,” he said, “Something outside of this one. And then you can do all that.”

“Alright,” Louis said. He held up his hands, smiling, “Whatever you’d like.”

Harry’s lips twitched, and his eyes moved to the envelope in Louis’s hand.  

“Can you put it on me?” he asked, his voice unbearably soft. But Louis still heard it.

“You’re keeping it, then.”

“Let me try it on and see how I like it first.”

Louis grinned and opened the envelope back up. He took the necklace out of the envelope and unlatched it, then lifted it up and locked it around Harry’s neck. The boy kept his neck tilted forward, and then looked up at Louis once the clasp was done. Harry was tall, gangly, and bigger than Louis, but he was so curled up that he still managed to look up at him through his lashes.

“That looks lovely on you, darling,” Louis said, even though his eyes weren’t straying down to the chain, but staying on Harry’s eyes. He lifted a hand, brushing it over Harry’s temple, “What does my sweet boy have to say to that, hm?”

Harry inhaled sharply, his gaze flicking away for just a moment. When he looked back, he looked softer, his eyes brighter.

“Thank you for the present, Daddy.”

Louis smiled so much he could fucking feel himself beaming. Harry smiled back, but he was shyer, more careful now.

Harry always became a little different when he used that one word.

“There’s my sweet boy,” Louis smiled, and then held out a hand to brush it over Harry’s cheek, “You look pretty today, darling. I like your outfit.”

Harry snorted.

“Do you really?”

“Yes.”

“I have ice cream stains on these jeans.”

“Hm. Doesn’t matter.”

Louis kissed Harry’s cheek and stroked his sides.

“Do you want to stay over tonight?” Louis asked, “I’m sure the girls would love to wake up tomorrow and have you cook them French toast.”

“The girls would be excited, would they.”

“Uh huh,” Louis said. He squeezed Harry’s hips pointedly, “So?”

Harry sighed, and reached a hand up to rub Louis’s arm, over the curve of his bicep.

“I want a shower.”

Louis smiled and pinched Harry’s hip, making him squeak.

“You know where it is.”

“Daddy,” Harry groaned, “Daddy, don’t tease. You know what I mean.”

“Do I?” Louis said, “Because, in the past, when you want to take a shower in my house, you just take one, and don’t tell me before hand. But when you want me to fuck you in the shower, you usually tell me explicitly that you want a shower.”

Harry tried his best to glare at Louis. It wasn’t quite working.

“Am I close?” Louis asked.

“You’re terrible,” Harry murmured, “But. Please.”

Louis just smiled again and then backed up, giving Harry room to squeeze out from between Louis’s body and the counter.

“Go run some water,” Louis said, “I bought you the body wash you like.”

“The thirty-five pound body wash?”

“Baby,” Louis said firmly, and it was enough to make Harry’s eyes flash, “I’ll be there in a minute.”

Harry just gave him one last minute and then padded out of the kitchen, leaving Louis with a sink full of half-washed dishes and at least a few minutes to kill.

-

Harry had come to Louis’s door when he was 19. He was an awkward thing then, all long limbs that folded up wrong, sun-darkened skin and fuchsia pink lips and hair that was quiffed too high.

Louis had called for a personal nanny in a private ad, and most of the applicants had been over sixty, retired teachers and pastor’s wives. Nothing wrong with them, but they admitted their energy wasn’t what it used to be. Back then, the twins were five, Jessica was three, and Ella was one and not out of diapers. He needed someone with energy to spare. Especially when Louis’s divorce was fresh and he was still getting used to being on his own. He needed someone for his girls, but more than he admitted, he needed someone for himself. Someone to make sure the house didn’t fill up with un-recycled newspapers and that the only thing in Louis’s cabinets wasn’t cereal.

It had been his first summer with his girls, alone, and he was drowning.

When Harry had shown up for an interview, the boy practically threw Louis a raft. He was shy, and he had said he was going to study psychology, and that he wanted to be a social worker, maybe, so he liked children. He had had babysitting jobs growing up, more than his sister. His steady summer job back then had been as a children’s swim instructor.

“That’s why I’m so tan,” Harry had laughed, and then awkwardly looked down at the ice water Louis had poured him, like it was something he shouldn’t have admitted.

But Louis had smiled. He liked the kid. He had asked him if he shared his children’s interests – or, rather, if he would be willing to listen to the works of a plastic recorder, play with a children’s chemist set, and make up stories with dolls of every variety. Harry had smiled. He had done it all before. He could make puppets. He knew exactly when every children’s program came on the TV. He knew the best places to get ice cream in town.

Harry had been perfect then, and four years later, he was still perfect.

Louis didn’t hire Harry because he was attracted to him.

He was, of course, from the minute Harry cracked his first bad joke. Louis was exactly ten years and two months older than Harry, but Harry had also been an adult the entire time he’d known Louis, so there was nothing wrong with him finding him pretty.

More than pretty. Beautiful. Louis found Harry fucking beautiful.

He had found him beautiful the first time Louis had come home and found Harry out by the pool with the girls, making sure they were all in their water wings and staying in the shallow end, being a perfect mother duck, and he had been in a microscopic pair of white swim shorts.

He found him beautiful the second summer, when Harry had grown his hair out and wore it up in scarfs he had gotten from thrift shops for two pounds each. That summer, Harry had managed to get Louis tipsy on white wine, and they had kissed on the deck, Harry nearly in his lap.

Louis found him beautiful when he fucked him two weeks later, and then the next week, when Harry had whined out “Daddy, please” so easily.

Now, Harry was his boyfriend. That’s what he considered them, and Harry agreed. It had been that way since that second summer. Harry wasn’t seeing anyone else, and neither was Louis, and neither of them wanted to. During the off-months, when the girls were in America with Bebe, Louis took Harry out to dinner and to nice hotel rooms for weekends away and sometimes just asked him to come over so they could sit in Louis’s big, empty house and listen to music and split a bottle of wine.

Maybe it was irresposinible to pay his boyfriend. But Harry was a good nanny, and he wanted a job, so Louis paid him to be a nanny. He never paid him to be a boyfriend, and he made it clear that Harry could break it off anytime and he was still welcome to look after the girls.

“Don’t ever say that again,” Harry had said, entirely too seriously, when Louis had told him that, “I am not going to leave you.”

So they were boyfriends, and they weren’t going to break up.

Which was convenient, because Louis was getting to the age where he liked plans, and one of his plans was to marry Harry. He hadn’t told the other man yet, but, it would come up eventually.

Louis thought about that was he wandered into his bathroom, already feeling the heat of steam and hearing pounding water. One day, he wouldn’t have to ask Harry to stay over. He would live here. This would be their life.

It made him smile as he settled a hand on the glass door of the shower and opened it, blinking against the cloud of steam. Harry was standing under the stream of water, his back turned to Louis. But when the shower door clicked, signaling Louis had arrived, he shifted slightly, his body curling, his hands coming lifting, crossing, grabbing his own biceps. He rubbed his hands up and down and turned his head, casting his eyes down to the tile floor. Posing. He was fucking posing.

Louis came into the shower and settled a hand on Harry’s arm, over his own fingers, and kissed the long slope of his neck. His lips touched metal.

“Baby,” Louis said, “Baby, turn around.”

Harry did, shifting easily to turn and face him. His hair was nearly black with water, and plastered to all sides of his face, his eyes were big and framed with equally dark lashes. Louis looked down, his eyes falling on the flashing jewel that laid at Harry’s throat, droplets falling onto the charm.

“Wore your present into the shower, hm?” Louis asked, kissing Harry’s neck.

“Yes,” the other man sighed. His voice was all breath. Gone. So gone.

“I thought you’d like it,” Louis said against Harry’s skin. He grabbed onto Harry’s soft, bare hips, and pushed, until the other boy was back against the tile wall. Harry was bigger than him, and stronger, too, but Louis knew he was going to stay put.

“But then again,” Louis said, “You like everything I get for you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Harry said again, then amended, “Yes, Daddy.”

“Thought so,” Louis said, “You love getting presents. Love being Daddy’s spoiled brat, huh.”

Harry inhaled weakly, and his body seemed to uncoil, so Louis gripped his hips harder so he wouldn’t fall under his weakening knees.

“Is that a yes?” Louis said, and Harry didn’t respond, just breathed out again.

Louis smacked Harry’s hip lightly, enough to get his attention.

“Give Daddy a real answer.”

“I’m sorry,” Harry immediately breathed out, and it was enough for Louis to coo and kiss his cheek.

“I’m not angry, precious,” he said, “I’d just like an answer.”

Harry swallowed, and Louis watched his Adam’s apple dance under his skin, above the expensive gold charm.

“Yes,” he said softly.

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, I like being a spoiled brat, Daddy,” Harry said in a rush. He closed his eyes and leaned back against the tile, his body completely unfurled. He was somewhere else now. Harry was sweet, but he was stubborn. He had a type-A personality, and he liked to control things as best he could. That’s why he was good at his job.

But when they played, it was like all that disappeared. Harry abandoned any part of him that needed to be in control of the plan, that wanted a say in things, and apparently, that didn’t want Louis to spoil him.

Louis smoothed his hand over Harry’s skin, over his waist and belly, and kissed his lax lips.

“Thank you, precious,” Louis murmured, “Can I touch you?”

“Yes, please,” Harry said, his voice nearly breaking.

Louis smiled as Harry opened his eyes and looked at him and he brought his hand down between Harry’s legs. His thighs were nearly touching, his legs squeezed down like he was trying to be modest, but his legs easily opened when Louis’s fingers came down. He cupped Harry’s balls in one hand and gave them the softest squeeze that still made Harry cry out high.

If Louis hadn’t sound-proofed his bedroom and en suite as soon as he learned how loud could get, he would be worried that the rest of his family could hear them.

But they were safe, so he let his boy pant and cry out and twist his hips. Louis lifted a hand, stroking Harry’s cock lightly.

“Can you come from this, darling?” Louis asked, and Harry nodded quickly, his mouth opening and closing weakly.

“Interesting,” he said, “Would think a brat like you would want more than a wank in the shower.”

“No,” Harry said, “No, no, love your hands. Want anything you want to give me.”

Louis hummed, looking steadily into his boy’s eyes. He couldn’t resist leaning forward and giving him another kiss on the lips.

“What a good boy,” he sighed against Harry’s mouth. He felt Harry’s lips quirk up in a smile at the praise.

Louis twisted his wrist, continuing to wank Harry off, and he felt Harry’s exhaled breath brush over his own mouth. Louis was hard as a damn rock, but he wasn’t going to touch. Not yet. He had plans.

“I wonder what your favorite present is,” Louis wondered aloud as he kept wanking Harry. His touch was becoming faster, rougher, “Is it that jacket I got you from Italy?”

“I love that jacket, Daddy,” Harry said softly.

“I know, sweetheart, but is it your favorite?”

“I – “

“Or, what about your rings? You like the rings I buy you, don’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Your Prada sunglasses? Your boots from France? Your YSL lipstick?” Louis listed off. He ran his free thumb over Harry’s bottom lip at that last word, “I miss that lipstick, by the way.”

Harry groaned away, and Louis clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“All of that, and it’s still not your favorite present I’ve bought for you?”

Harry shook his head, and when he exhaled, it was weak. His cock was hot and hard in Louis’s hand, his head leaking steadily. It wouldn’t take long at all.

“Is it something a little more…” Louis trailed off and tilted his head, making Harry open his eyes again and look at him, “Intimate?”

Harry’s eyes flared, and Louis smiled and kissed his nose.

“I see,” he said, “I bet it’s that silk teddy I got you. The pink one. You looked so pretty in that.”

“Um.”

“Or it could be any of the things I’ve gotten you. One of your skirts or your stockings or your little bras. You have a whole drawer of them, lots to pick from.”

Harry was squirming, gasping. Louis was admittedly pulling him off quite hard.

He leaned in, pressing his body closely to Harry. His own neglected cock slide against his own fist as he wanked his boyfriend.

“I can stand here and name every plug, toy, and pair of clamps I’ve bought for you. Because there are many. You’re very bad at turning presents down, you know.”

He twisted his wrist hard, and then leaned down and nipped at Harry’s ear.

“Brat,” he breathed against Harry’s ear, and Harry…

Harry screamed, and then he came, all over Louis’s hand and their bellies. The water was quick to splatter over the mess, sending it down the drain, and Louis kissed Harry quickly.

“Good boy,” he breathed, “Good, good boy.”

Harry opened his watery, wide eyes and blinked up at Louis. He was slouched down low enough he could look up at him.

“I – “ he croaked, “I didn’t tell you my favorite present.”

“Okay,” Louis said, “Tell me.”

Harry didn’t say anything. He just dropped to his knees, right there on the hard tile, without being prompted.

Louis had hoped for that, but once they were dry and on soft, carpeted floors.

“Darling, your knees,” Louis said, but Harry was grabbing onto his hips, pulling him close. His mouth was opening, ready to give Louis an answer.

For a moment, Louis thought Harry was going to reach low levels of bad dirty talk and say Louis’s cock was his favorite present.

But instead, he rubbed a thumb over Louis’s hip, and even though he knew what Harry was touching, he still looked down.

He had Harry’s name inked in cursive here, enclosed in a little heart. It was cheesy, and maybe he had been drunk when he had gotten it, but he loved having it and he loved when Harry touched it.

He looked down at his boy, when met his eyes in turn.

“That’s your favorite present?” Louis said, and Harry nodded.

“Oh, darling,” Louis cooed, “I love you so much.”

Harry smiled, his big eyes nearly glittering.

It had been close to five years having this boy around constantly and Louis still had to convince himself that Harry wasn’t a cruel hallucination.

“Now suck Daddy’s cock.”

Well. The moment had to end sometime.

Harry lunged forward eagerly and took Louis into his mouth like he had done a million times before. His mouth was firm and insistent, his tongue exploring the underside of Louis’s length. Perfect. So fucking perfect.

As much slipped from his lips, and Harry moaned happily around Louis’s cock. Louis reached up, tugging his fingers through Harry’s short curls. He had been more upset than he should have been when Harry cut his hair last summer. But he was getting used to it, slowly.

“Going to buy you a tiara,” Louis said, “One with real diamonds. You can wear it when I fuck you.”

Harry groaned again, much less happy this time and much more desperate.

“You like that? ‘Course you do. Daddy’s princess.”

Harry groaned again. The whole time, his mouth was working on Louis’s prick. It felt so good, because of course it did. Harry knew Louis’s body better than Louis did. Fuck, his ex-wife and he had four children together and Louis didn’t know what sex could be until he met Harry.

Maybe that was excessive. But his brain was pretty damned fogged up. That would certainly explain what was spilling out of his mouth at the moment.

“Spoil my baby fucking rotten. Cover you in diamonds and pearls, silk and velvet. Take you all around the world, feed you all the best foods. World at your fucking feet. And you’ll still get on your knees when Daddy tells you to.”

Harry’s entire face was wet, but there were very clearly tears coming out of Harry’s eyes as he sucked him off.

“Darling, are you okay?” Louis managed. Harry lifted a fist, offering a thumbs up, and pressed his thumb to Louis’s hip, as if he was making sure Louis saw it.

“Okay, thank you,” Louis said, and Harry dropped his thumb. Louis’s belly felt hot and tight, and he was close, he knew he was. Which was good, because then Harry could lift himself off the hard tile floor.

He could let himself go and call it a night. But he didn’t.

“Pull off so Daddy can come on your face,” he said, and in an instant, Harry’s mouth was slipping off him. His boy sat back on his heels, his mouth brilliant red and hanging up, his eyes closed already.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Louis made quick work of tugging himself off, and Harry had already done such a magnificent job that it didn’t take long for him to be coming. Harry still sat, so patient and beautiful, and barely flinched when Louis’s cum splattered over his mouth, his cheeks, a bit splattering over his right eye, getting caught in his eyelashes. He groaned softly when it hit there. Louis was going to slip and brain himself on the tile over this boy.

When his release was over, he reached up, gently moving Harry’s face until it was pointed directly into the shower spray, so the water would wash off his face for him. The other man just groaned lightly and let Louis do it. And then he let him pull him back onto his wobbly, clumsy feet. And he let Louis kiss him.

“Baby,” Louis said, and Harry smiled.

“Daddy,” he said, stressing each syllable like he was sounding it out for the first time.

“Let’s get you dry,” Louis said. He reached behind him and shut off the water, and then reached out and pushed on the shower door until it opened. Harry blinked open his eyes, lazily and sleepily like he’d just gotten up from a nap, and smiled at Louis guided him outside.

Louis barely dried himself off. It didn’t matter. He wanted to spend all his time on his boy. He rubbed lotion on his feet and legs, rubbed his hair and skin completely dry with a soft towel, applied a moisturizer infused with rose petals onto Harry’s face. He wished he was strong enough to carry Harry to his room, but he wasn’t, so he settled for Harry trailing behind him, holding his hand.

Louis got Harry something to wear to bed once his boy was on the bed. He normally went bare, but not after scenes. So Louis got him one of his own uni t-shirts that reached Harry’s midriff, and a soft pair of white cotton briefs. He helped him put them on, and then kept a hand on Harry’s bare belly as he laid beside him and kissed him. Harry smiled the whole time they were kissing, and reached up, holding onto Louis’s hips.

“I love you so much,” Louis said firmly, “You are the most precious thing to me.”

“Fifth most precious,” Harry said, and Louis sighed.

“Yes. Most precious after my girls,” Louis allowed, “Give Daddy a kiss.”

It was cheesy. God, he knew it was. But Harry still smiled and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, one that made Louis’s insides feel like gold being melted down.

“I love you,” Harry said gently, “I love you when you’re Louis, I love you when you’re Daddy.”

Louis laughed weakly and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead.

“And I love you both times,” he said.

Harry pressed himself to Louis’s throat, his breath brushing over his neck. Louis settled one arm around Harry’s middle, the other on the back of his neck, so his fingers could toy with the chain of Harry’s newest gift.

“Thank you,” Harry said against Louis’s skin, “Thank you for being so good to me.”

He wasn’t sure if he meant the sex, or the presents, or the domination, or the quiet nights it was just them, two bodies in one house or bed, nowhere to be and no one to answer to but each other.

It didn’t matter, really, because by the time Louis could say, “You’re welcome, baby” Harry was fast asleep against his neck.

He was a sound, regimented sleeper no matter what. But sub space knocked him right now every time.

Louis smiled as he closed his eyes, a warm body draped over his neck, the promise of a lazy morning and Harry’s banana-stuffed, blueberry-drizzled French Toast awaiting him when the sun came up.

It was a beautiful summer day with the family he had taken thirty-three years to make.

As Louis came close to dozing off himself, he fingered Harry’s bare left ring finger absently, and wondered how far they will have made it by next summer.