#not me or vasha

[lethal-spaceship]

I am about to explode.

[undead-knick-knack]

[iiryoku]

"Vasha, come here for a moment." Kakavasha called from the other room. He felt a little nervous, truth be told. After all, he had never celebrated his birthday before, not since that day. So he tried looking at it from a different angle. He isn't celebrating his own birthday, he is celebrating his twin brother's birthday. Vasha deserves that, far more than himself. In a neat little box; beautifully wrapped with luxurious wrapping and silken lace - lay a treasure. A treasure fetched from far away, from a place he had not visited since childhood. A golden little trinket lay inside the box; polished and restored to it's former glory and shine, now with an added golden chain to easily wear it around once's neck. It belonged to their mother once, given to him - now he will give it to Vasha, as a symbol of their familial bond. "Here, this is for you, Vasha. Happy birthday."

@sagnaevi BIRTHDAY ASK. / ALWAYS ACCEPTING.

Hearing his brother call for him, Vasha closed the book, that had been resting between slender digits before he got up from the leather chair, that he had been sitting in. Without a word, clad legs carried him through their current home. As soon as he spotted Kakavasha, neon depths settled on him, taking in the familiar features, that were a mirror image of his own - which was understandable, with them being identical twins. To be honest, Vasha had never really celebrated his own birthday, simply because it had been painful, to celebrate a day, you were supposed to share with someone, who was nothing less than your other half. The day that he had thought he had lost Kakavasha, had been the worst day of his life and any reminders had been too painful - therefore, he had put up a wall around them and forced any reminders, that he could, away; like their birthday, for example. The first birthday that he had, after everything that had happened, had been buried in cries and sobs as he had clung onto the only thing that, was left of his brother; his memory and his comforting words, that had been so very clear in his mind, that was, until, he had locked them away for good, something that had only happened after he had become numb enough to do it.

Seeing the little, beautifully wrapped package in his brother's hand, Vasha gazed at it, not quite understanding, why he was given a gift. However as soon as he heard those words directed at him, neon depths moved from the gift to his brother's features a few times as something welled up within his chest. Reaching out, with slightly shaky hands, he took the gift before unwrapping it. The sight of the familiar trinket made Vasha inhale suddenly, a sound that shook as the feeling within his chest became overwhelming. Tears swelled up within neon depths and despite a hand, having moved up to cover the evidence, the salty liquid still wandered down fair cheeks before dripping onto the polished floors below. It took a lot to make him cry, nowadays, but seemingly, he was going to do it a lot in front of Kakavasha. Biting his lower lip, so the skin threatened to become bruised, Vasha was lost for words for a moment as he recalled the day, that their mother had spoken about this trinket.

❝ I-I thought... it was lost.. ❞

left through unsteady inhales and exhales as he tried his hardest to stop the tears, but to him, this was something completely new as he hadn't allowed himself to properly feel, for years. Holding the trinket to his chest, he wanted to protest, wanted to give it back to his brother as he felt like he didn't deserve it, due to having not found Kakavasha before that day. However, knowing how rude that would be, he simply stood there. Ah, it felt like his chest, was becoming too heavy to bear and that the feelings were rising to his throat; it felt choking and yet, there was a familiar warmth amongst it, a warmth that only his brother made him feel. He wasn't ungrateful, far from it - he was immensely touched and simply had no idea, how to deal with it.

❝ T-Thank you... I-I.. just need.. a m-moment.. ❞

Finally being able to pull himself together, Vasha lifted his head, with eyes having formed into half-moons, where tears still pressed past as a shaky smile was aimed at Kakavasha. Vasha couldn't find it in himself to care, about how the salty liquid clung to his blond eyelashes or how they still made a little song as they connected with the surface below. All he cared about, was uttering the words that rested upon his tongue as he lifted a hand, to hold the palm of it towards his brother, like they had done as kids, so they could connect through both touch and mind.

❝ Happy birthday to you as well, K-Kakavasha. May the coming ones be spend together, in warmth and laughter.. ❞

" ፕቿ ጎሁጔቿនር, ቻዪልፕቿ. "

the last words were spoken in their mother tongue as Vasha continued to smile, despite the tears.

[cimarraskylark]

Well, since @miqomischief has given me permission to ramble... Perhaps this is my sign to reveal...

Cimarra's mother!

Rather than raising Hadrian herself, Vasha passed him on to Cimarra as a baby, when Cimarra was 17. She wanted to focus/continue her other duties, which she saw as more important. And so, Cimarra ended up raising her little brother instead. Vasha was part of why Cimarra grew disillusioned with the Vieran way of life. Cimarra probably inherited her strong will from her though. Vasha was duty-bound and strong, standing tall and proud.

However, despite the apparent differences and callousness of her mother...

There is another side to the narrative.

One night, the realization set in that Cimarra's mother silently supported her choice. That she knew when her daughter left and watched her disappear, smiling sadly from afar as she whispered "Go..."

That she knew Cimarra's path and heart were meant to be elsewhere, rather than following in her footsteps.

That, despite her more traditional views and values, she was proud of her daughter for knowing her own mind.

And yet, Cimarra will never know any of this. Instead...

~(Story Snippet upcoming)~

Absentmindedly caressing Hadrian’s hair as he slept with his head in her lap, Cimarra stared up at the stars. Memories overlapped with the present, taking her back to those days in the forest village, to the days when she had been trying so hard to be who her mother wanted, but failing.

How disappointed she must have been in her when she took Hadrian and left.

Cimarra blinked, her gaze lowering in hooded contemplation.

…A part of me wonders what she would think of what I’ve done with my life since. She closed her eyes. Her lungs filled with the chilly night air as she took a deep breath.

I’m sorry, Mother. I couldn’t be who you wanted. Returning to the stars, Cimarra replaced those memories of the past with thoughts of Aymeric. I know the path I want now. It lies with him. The life I want to live is one by his side.

Looking down at Hadrian, Cimarra only felt regret for not saying goodbye to their mother.

Never would she regret their self-exile. Their fate had lain beyond the confines of the village.

She lowered her head to tenderly kiss his temple, resting her head against his for a moment.

No more running.

~(End of Snippet)~

As for what happened to her mother after Cimarra and Hadrian left... Who's to say?

O.O

[thedeadthree]

-`. WHO WOULD DIRECT THE LIFE OF YOUR OC?

TAGGED BY @corvosattano, @adelaidedrubman, @jackiesarch, @shellibisshe and @socially-awkward-skeleton to take this cutest uquiz for a few loves! ty so much! ♥

TAGGING: @jendoe, @aponibolinayen, @griffin-wood, @noonfaerie, @aartyom, @gwynbleidd, @minaharkers, @kingsroad, @jacobseed, @shadowglens, @chuckhansen, @lizzywizzy, @risingsh0t, @unholymilf, @queennymeria, @denerims, @leviiackrman, @jacobseed, @aceghosts, @phillipsgraves, @lizzywizzy, @nokstella, @florbelles, @honeysofte, @devil-kindred, @girlbosselrond, @blissfulalchemist, @anoras, @nightbloodraelle, @carminasolis, @fragilestorm, @morvaris, @swordcoasts, @arklay, and @confidentandgood and you! (divider)

SOFIA COPPOLA

Does Lana Del Rey inspire you? Be honest.

JOHN CARPENTER

They're after you, aren't they? What are you waiting for? Run!

ABEL FERRARA

Stop clogging the prayer line with your guilt and shame, baby. Go for a walk or something, sometimes <3

JORDAN PEELE

You're one of a kind, that's for sure, you weirdo <3

KATHRYN BIGELOW

You're so deconstructed and complex, wow. Love that for you!

KARYN KUSAMA

You're so gay, I wouldn't even know where to start... But, hmm, call me maybe?

ABEL FERRARA

Stop clogging the prayer line with your guilt and shame, baby. Go for a walk or something, sometimes <3

DAVID CRONENBERG

Yeah... You're literally a freak[y and foreboding ♥].

bonus track version ♥

KATHRYN BIGELOW

You're so deconstructed and complex, wow. Love that for you!

[witheredgardenparty]

Ruminating on the parallels between Aventurine and Ratio and insecurity

[stilljustvasha]

Started Stray Gods yesterday. It's a really fun concept, and within the first hour or so we got a character who uses they/them and a rainbow flag in the main characters apartment.

[millionsnife]

"You know who does fuck? Vash." In his guest room, on his guest sheets.

[phantomoniium]

VashaOc 🤝 GrushaPokemon

scarf-wearing young adult ice-users with pretty eyelashes who are kinda aloof cool and mean and are implied to have suffered some kind of debilitating life-altering accident that threw everything off course and they're potentially still upset about it and/or haven't come to terms with the circumstances and the last three letters of their first name end in -sha

[havanillas]

hah for no reason af all haha like ZERO haha

what weapon does Doc. Vasha use??

TOTALLY no reason for asking this hahahahha

*sweat drop*

hear me out

[stxneflxwers]

pain reliever.

⋯⁂ summary. migraines. migraines never end.

⋯⁂ a/n. oh my god im so sick of being in pain someone just make it end-

⋯⁂ characters. aventurine. gn reader.

⋯⁂ cw. reader in physical pain (migraines, light sensitive eyes). comfort. all lowercase. aventurine is now designated weighted blankie.

"another migraine, huh?"

aventurine chimes in, his voice soft as a feather – without its typical sassy and teasing edge, too. he stands behind you as you rest on the sofa in his penthouse, your sluggish body flush against the puffy back cushions. his hands rest on the tops of the cushions, caging either side of your head as he stares down at you, your head tilted back to look up at him.

of course, the seating is about as lavish and comfortable as it comes – you wouldn't expect anything less from your eccentric boyfriend.

"yup." you don't even nod, and your words are barely louder than a pained whisper.

"you poor thing," he coos, "here. take it." he offers his rose-tinted sunglasses to you, to help subdue some of the bright lighting coming from the ceiling.

you stare for a long, hard (and painful) moment at the sunglasses offered to you. without another moment thinking about if the rose-tinted lens will actually help with negating some pain, you take the accessory by its temples and slide them on. you then look up at him through the rosy glass, your eyes half-lidded and your expression droopy.

"adorable." he grins, a genuine one he reserves for you – only for you. "now, how about i look for some meds, huh? i bought some recently for times like these." he reaches out a gloved hand, intending on gently petting your head, but ends up holding himself back. his hand awkwardly hovers above your face before it rests back down on the sofa back.

"...you did that? for me?" you blink, eyes widening momentarily with knitted brows.

"i sure did. i can't have my favorite person being in debilitating pain every time i see them, yeah? it's no fun that way." he chuckles breathily before leaning down to press a chaste, feather-light kiss to your exposed forehead.

"i wouldn't call it debilitating, per se..." you drawl, but smile from his tender ministrations.

"well, we'll have to agree to disagree, then," he shakes his head. "i'll be right back. you try to rest some." he walks away, dimming the lights in the living room as he leaves to look for the medication he mentioned.

"thank you, vasha..." you mumble, watching him walk away – his stride holds significantly less bravado to it when it's just the two of you. it's...relaxed.

when he returns with two pills and a cup of cool water in hand, he finds you laying down on the sofa – curled up in a tight, little ball of..., well, pain. he hates seeing you in pain, much less so this frequently. but he masks his concern just enough to not make you worry about him being worried. it's almost ironic.

"hey," he whispers, voice even softer than earlier, "c'mon, time to take your meds~." he teases a little as he bends over enough to meet your scrunched up face, hoping to lighten your mood.

"alright, alright..." you grumble, "thank you, nurse." you tiredly grin at him before pulling yourself up into a seated but slouched position.

"aww, i bet you'd like to see me all dressed up like a cute little nurse, huh?" he jokes while handing you the pills and cup.

"...i will neither confirm nor deny that allegation." you scoff playfully, and then you take the medication as instructed – of course, you down all the water too. or else a certain gambler will get on your case.

"pfft, figures." he snickers, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, slinging an arm on the top of the back cushions.

after setting the empty cup down on the accessory table next to the armrest, you glance at him with weary eyes. but to him, it looks like you're about to beg for something–

"be my blanket."

perhaps "beg" was a poor word choice. that sounded far more like a demand.

"...your blanket...?" he blinks on repeat, looking somewhat bewildered.

"yes. lay on top of me." you blink back, but your expression lacks any sort of discernible emotion. "it's...comforting."

"well," he starts with an awkward, stiff chuckle, "if you insist. i'll gladly be your blanket, then." he smiles and shakes his head.

you lay on your back, opening your arms to him before he settles on top of you – he's the best height and weight to be a nice, warm weighted blanket. he rests his head on your chest as his body sits between your legs. you sigh in contentment, and you swear this is what real perfection feels like.

warm, safe, quiet.

[tragedy-of-commons]

hello!

"can't sleep?" + aventurine + platonic familial

"Can't sleep?"

Aventurine asks your haggard form in the doorway, his own voice hoarse and rough with restlessness. He's been tossing and turning for the better part of the night, and by the looks of it, so have you. He'd just about given up on sleep completely when the door creaked open, light spilling into the room from the adjoining hallway.

You rub at your eyes, sheepishly smiling in the darkness. This routine brings back good and bad memories; days when he'd drag you through the sands of Sigonia-IV, laughing without a care in the world - and other moments when he'd shield you from the heavy footfall of boots, shushing and beseeching you to play dead in ensanguined water.

Now, in the middle of the night, years later, when the dust has settled considerably, he still feels the need to protect you. You don't seem to mind. Aventurine will place everything on the line because he is riddled with blessings and curses and all kinds of afflictions. He will agree to any stakes, even raise them, but you are the exception. Keeping you safe has always been the objective, even as both of you lost the chub of your cheeks and grew into bigger clothes.

You're all he has left, unfortunately for you.

You glance around, eyes landing on the empty right side of the bed. "Yeah. Make room," you pad over, soft footsteps echoing off the floorboards until you climb in next to him, stealing half the duvet in the process. Great. "I fucking hate nightmares. Sorry to, uh, invade your personal space on the first night of your visit, 'Vasha."

Aventurine yanks his fill of the covers back. "This is hardly an invasion," he yawns, staring up at the still unfamiliar ceiling of your apartment. "You're still having the nightmares?"

You grunt as you turn on your side to face him, lowering your voice to a whisper. You don't have to do that, since it's only the two of you here - and you know that just as well as he does - but if it makes you feel better, he'll play along, just like he always has. "Mhm. That stuff you gave me hasn't been helping too much."

He frowns, about to open his mouth--

"Don't look at me like that! I'm fine," you slap your hand over his face while lets out an indignant sound. "Shush now. We're going to sleep soundly for the rest of the night and then some."

He pries your hand away and refluffs his pillow. "Right."

The following minutes are spent in silence. Periodically, Aventurine cracks open an eyelid to make sure you're doing alright. He gets a glimpse as you're about to drift off, brow furrowed and mumbling something he can't discern. As he pulls you closer with a soft sigh, determined to fight off whatever monsters plague your rest, he's able to make out a full sentence.

"It's raining, Brother... please don't go..."

Kakavasha won't be leaving anytime soon. Tomorrow, he hopes to relish in his rare time off as you drag him through the Farmer's Market, the park, or that museum you've been texting him about.

He hopes it rains.

a/n: this fucked me up. thank you requester lol

event post here

[selfindulgentpixies]

A drop of you on my tongue

MDNI i will block on sight

Heeey I'm alive and writing again! So i'm here with an Aventurine x GN!reader fic! And it's well a lactation kink fic. Been having terrible writer's block but @yinyuedijun pulled me out of it very unexpectedly this morning. I'm in love with how they write Aven but it was anon they got that sent me down this rabbit hole. I've always liked lactation kink but i don't think i've written it on this blog before.

Cw: Reader is Afab but GN! using they/them pronouns. (since non-binary and transmasc people such as myself are indeed able to get pregnant) Reader is somewhere between the end of their first trimester and beginning of their second (it is indeed possible to start lactating that early.) Aventurine is implied to have been away for a bit but I don't elaborate on the reasons. Also i am a fuckin sap so i hope Aven isn't too ooc for you guys. During the fic he get's called Aven and Vasha at different moments. Please be kind since I just punched through a writers block with this.

Word count: 1600+

It’s not intentional on either of your parts if you’re being honest. There was just a need for eachother, a need for intimacy after time spent apart. It didn’t matter to him that you were pregnant with his child already, or perhaps it was even more reason for him to want to touch you. To reacquaint himself with your body after his absence.

Aventurine helps free you from your shirt, exposing parts of you both familiar and new to him causing you to glance away. There’s of course a new swell to  both your chest and and stomach, stretch marks that hadn’t been there previously and an added softness beginning to settle in about you.

“Hey now,”  his voice is almost achingly gentle just like the fingers he places on your jaw so he can turn your face toward him. “You’re not getting shy on me now are you?” and oh, the look in his eyes isn’t one you’re familiar with. There’s both softness and awe in his gaze and it makes you feel far more bare before him than any lack of clothing ever could. 

“Would it be so strange if I was?” 

He hums and leans in to kiss you while the hand that had been on your cheek skims down your neck and down to the tender swell of one your breasts.  “Hmm perhaps not but I can show you that you don’t need to be.”  And his lips are moving against yours, his free hand coming up to cup the back your neck so you don’t pull away. All it takes is a gentle squeeze to your breast and you gasp, opening your mouth and allowing him to slip his tongue in to greet your own. He’s pushing you back to lay against soft pillows when you whine into him, your back arching and that’s when he feels it. A warm and wet sensation rolling between his fingers and down the back of his hand.

He pulls back, surprised and holds up his hand to look at it. Twisting his wrist as the warm pearl of white rolls down. Heat rises in your cheeks and you begin to turn toward your bedside to reach for tissues. “Shit. I’m sorry, Aven, they just started doing that, i didn’t think-”

“Considering the places i’ve put my tongue on you before,” You glance toward him, catch his fascinated gaze as it follows the droplets curling down his wrist and watch as a flash of pink darts out and he licks up the back of his hand and to the space space between his fingers where your milk had first squeezed out, “do you really think this would bother me?” His eyes fall shut. It’s warm of course but also so much sweeter than he would have thought it would be. “Fuck.. And here I thought your cunt was sweet.” 

It’s obscene. It shouldn’t turn you on and yet you feel heat curling low within you at the sight. You’re so lost in this thought that you don’t notice him until he’s right in front of you, his lips brushing your own and his tongue pressing the taste of you into your own mouth. He was right, it is sweet. “Will you let me have more?” The heated words are spoken directly into your mouth, while his hands make their way to your hips to give a reassuring squeeze.

You’ve always been terrible at denying Aventurine things. Taking any opportunity you can to give him whatever you can given everything he’s given you. Not just the material things but the less tangible. Smooth and syrupy words coaxing you to let him in, dropping the walls you’d kept up around your tender heart in a way you’d let so few in. Let him see your scar tissue in hopes that he’d show you his own. This is no different. Especially not when it’s proof of just another thing he’s given you. Something you were giving each other that neither of you had dared hope to have again. 

Still speaking against each others lips. “...alright if it’s something you’re sure you want.”

You feel and then see him smirk as he pulls back, eyes sparkling with something mischievous. “Of course it is.” He gives your hips another squeeze and tugs at you. “Here, switch places with me.” 

You tip your head quizzically but do as he asks so he can sit back against the plush pillows before encouraging you to sit on his lap. 

“There you go.” He runs nose along your jaw before kissing down your neck. “Arch your back a little bit for me.” And you do, pressing your chest that little bit up toward him so he can more easily dip his head down. He cups one of your breasts and licks at the bead of milk that’s collected on your nipple before coaxing it into his mouth using his tongue. An appreciative groan rumbles up his chest, vibrating through your sensitive flesh. It’s different from the other times he’s played with your body. You’re so much more sensitive, almost too sensitive, a whimpered moan falling past your lips as you press your chest further against him. There's a sensation you’d almost describe as a pull as his skilled tongue gently works you, figuring out how to best draw milk from you. You feel it when he gets it, gets your sweet essence  beginning to pool on his tongue for him to drink down. 

You nearly miss it when he begins to rut against your thinly clothed cunt. His free arm wraps around the small of your back pulling you tight to him, the slight swell of your belly pressing against the toned planes of his own. You whine beginning to grind against him in turn. He moans something incoherent against your skin.

Your hands move seemingly of their own accord to gently run through his hair, smoothing it back from his face as you look down at him. His eyes are half lidded, dazed even. “That good, ‘vasha?” The affectionate and rarely used abbreviation of his true name dripping from your lips like warm honey. 

 “S’good” he mumbles against you followed by him bucking his hips and whining against your soft skin. A resounding yes if you ever heard one. You moan and it trails into a breathy laugh as the two of you continue to rut together. Evidence of your own pleasure soaking through the cloth of your sleepshorts and through the fabric of his own slacks. Pity that they’ll probably be ruined, not that either of you actually cared. 

With a moan he pops off your nipple, “Think I can make you cum just like this?” he asks before adjusting his hold so he can move to your other breast, pulling the sensitive bud into his mouth before you can actually answer. 

“Ha-ah- careful that one’s more sore-” and he is careful, gentle with you, but he doesn’t stop. He’s lost to you, seemingly eager to drown in everything you give him. A mix of pleasure from the eager grind of your bodies and the sweet taste of you filling his mouth. 

Any soreness is forgotten as it blurs into pleasure once he pulls your hips down more firmly against him. Rutting his clothed cock into the thin and soaked fabric separating the two of you. It’s with a well timed push that catches against your clothed clit and particularly hard suck that your body goes taunt, your breast smothering Aventurine as your release truly soaks you both. Your world goes blank.

You’re so gone to the world that you don’t even register that Aventurine has also cum in his own pants. Shuddering with you before releasing your nipple and panting as he carefully rolls the two of you so you’re laying down while he hovers above you. It’s when his thumb rubs beneath your eye that you blink back into focus. He’s beautiful and disheveled. A bit of milk clings to the corner of his shiny and slightly swollen lips.  And oh, you almost want to look away because his eyes are full of so much adoration and it’s all focused on you.

His lips move and your name reaches you, almost sounding as if he’s said it more than once now. “-are you alright?” The inquiry is accompanied by him brushing hair away from your temple while he sits beside you. 

“Sorry- I i’m okay. More than okay.” 

He smiles, relief making his shoulders sag just a bit. “Good, you had me worried for a moment there.” Amusement shines in his eyes. “Now as much as I’d like to just lay here with you, how about we clean ourselves up first.” He gestures toward the lower halves of your bodies with a grimace. Both of you were an absolute mess after all of that.  

You whine not actually wanting to get up but knowing the growing awareness of your own discomfort would make it impossible to just roll back over. In the time it takes you to start getting up Aventurine is around to your side of the bed ready to help you up. “You know i’m not so far along that I need help getting out of bed.”

He hums in acknowledgement. “Yes but how about you just let me help, to make up for my time away.” 

He doesn’t comment on the little eyeroll as you take his hands. “Fine fine… Let me guess you’re gonna help me shower too?”

“Now you’re getting it~” he practically chirps at you before pulling you up and beginning to walk you toward the attached bathroom. “And once we’re all cleaned up and cozy in bed maybe you’ll let me have another taste of you.” He noses at your hair. 

“You’re terrible you know that right?”

“You’re figuring that out a little late, don’t you think?” 

It’s a strange way to say ‘I love you.’ yet you both know that’s what fills those words as you both share a small smile

And there you have it. My writer's block broken by lactation kink. Special thanks to @yinyuedijun for inspiring this, i really hope you enjoy it. Also special thanks to @080325 and @fushigurro for proof reading for me

Divider credit it @threnodians

Tag list: @pastelle-rabbit @zorosdimples @strawberrystepmom @whispers-of-lilith

I'm actually not that sure who wants to be tagged in this one

[thedeadthree]

LIOSLAITH, dnd 🌿 | LIOSLAITH, dnd ❄️

UNA + the cannibal, hotd 🐍 | ALVA, asoiaf 🌸

VINDAMEA + shadowmere, tesv 🐉 | VASHA, eso 🌊

TAGGED BY @risingsh0t, @chuckhansen, @shadowglens, @corvosattano, @jendoe, @florbelles and @leviiackrman to use this cutest picrew for a few loves! ty so much!

TAGGING: @feystepped, @griffin-wood, @kingsroad, @unholymilf, @phillipsgraves, @celticwoman, @denerims, @aartyom, @morvaris, @shellibisshe, @blissfulalchemist, @jacobseed, @girlbosselrond, @queennymeria, @nightbloodraelle, @belorage, @marivenah, @adelaidedrubman, @jackiesarch, @loriane-elmuerto, @yennas, @noonfaerie, @heroofpenamstan, @detectivelokis and you!

[stilljustvasha]

This just in: I am not ok

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

NEVER GONNA DANCE AGAIN (oneshot)

Aventurine x ex girlfriend!reader

He would gamble his own life before ever risking your relationship but his dangerous job forced him to give you up, shattering both of your hearts in the process. Months later Sigonian notices you on one of the boujee parties he got invited to as an IPC representative. Motivated by yearning and alcohol in his veins Aventurine tries his luck in love again. ANGST,SUGGESTIVE

general masterlist

Aventurine was always a little bit fed up with those expensive parties thrown by his business partners, lavish ballroom filled with pathetic people living with no purpose besides endless consumption, each of them raised in conditions he could only dream of as a child, staring at him with curiosity. Hoping that he will make a mistake, prove them he is still a lowlife they take him for despite all those privileges he now enjoyed as a high ranking IPC member. But tonight he sincerely did not care about any of this, barely acknowledging the noise around him. 

He sipped on a drink more pricey than lifetime supply of food for his whole clan would be, giving out charming smiles that never reached his devoid of emotions, outstanding eyes to greedy leaches sitting alongside him at the poker table. Seemingly interested in shallow exchange of blows disguised as jokes and witty remarks young man looked around not expecting anything positive out of this meeting, maybe except meaningless material gains he forced himself to care about for the sake of keeping up his Aventurine persona.  

Then he noticed elegant woman standing alone near the entrance. Fingers adorned with precious rings clenched around the glass, almost shattering it in desperate attempt to conceal how much his hands started to shake at the sight of familiar face. He thought he imagined it at first, but his broken heart wasn't playing tricks on him. Aventurine would recognize your face even after centuries, every detail of it carved into his mind, into his soul. Long, green dress tightly hugged your figure, enhancing every curve he loved to caress so much. It was really you. Just as beautiful as the day he broke your heart, five months ago. The day he saw you for the last time. 

*** 

- Why are you doing this to me? To us? After all this time? - tears dripped down your cheeks, you were choking on your sobs. Aventurine wanted to hold you, make you feel like everything will be alright, but he knew what he needed to do to keep you safe. 

- Y/n, there is nothing to talk about, stop making this so hard. I never loved you in the first place, I just needed some distraction from my work. - he was always a great liar. You seemed to believe him and he thanked Aeons for it, despite how much it hurt him to see you in pain. It's the only way to make sure they won't touch you. - It was funny to play house with you for two years but that joke got old. You no longer entertain me.  

You looked into his eyes, begging for this to be a cruel prank, searching for any crumbs of love in his eyes, but they were cool and calculated. Speaking to him when he put on his poker face felt like talking to a wall. Despair slowly turned into hatred in you heart, it's fire kept you warm in spite of your ex boyfriend's cold attitude.  

- I hate you. I hate you so fucking much. I can't blame you for being a shameless liar, you told me that's who you are at the beginning. I should've trusted you when you showed me your true colors. I don't even want you to apologize, I played myself investing my love in you. Now get lost Vasha. - nickname once spoken tenderly now felt like a slap to Aventurine. How do you tell somebody in front of whom you bared your soul that they were only a toy to you?  

He spared you the rest of monologue he prepared and went outside with all his belongings packed in three suitcases. He glanced at the door of your shared place for the last time and whispered to himself. 

- In another universe I can be just your Kakavasha, kiss your face every morning after I wake up by your side and hold you every night, love you the way you deserve to be loved, make you proud of me. Protect you with my own strong arms and build our future with them. But Aventurine can't afford such luxury, not at your expense. Not if it can cost your life. 

***  

Just thinking about how he treated you made him want to punch himself in the face. He tried to reason with himself. Back then his position in Stonehearts was endangered after he risked his Cornerstone during the mission in Penacony.  If he lost all his power opponents he got during his work in IPC would go straight after you and he wouldn't be able to fight them off. Aventurine secured his rank and influences by now, as soon as he did that he got rid of enemies to make sure he will never feel this incapable of protecting those dear to him. Such as you. 

Aventurine knew he should not hope for rekindling of your love, not after all those terrible things he has said and done, but could you blame him? All his life nothing really belonged to him, nothing but your heart you so willingly gave to him. Even money he bargained with were only borrowed from IPC, just like his new name, dignity and life. Not to mention his whole new personality, attitude worn as a mask grew so deep into him it felt like a second face. Kakavasha was a different man, the kind that knew what was really important and what was not.  

One not impressed by money or political circus, instead wanting to protect and provide for those close to him, more down to earth and proud than Aventurine could ever be with all his wealth and victories. The one who stood in silence when the lights were gone, the one who observed emotionless when his fate was debated by the rest of the Stonehearts, the one who put his own body as a shield between his friends and dangers of battle.  

There was not much those two men caged together in one body had in common, with few exceptions. Both had iron will and ambition forged in hellfire they went through in this lifetime, both were aware that even with all the luck in the universe their destiny was inherently unjust and both knew they will love you till death returns Kakavasha's tired soul to his family and Gaiathra Triclops in afterlife.  

Alcohol circulated in his veins, clouding his mind and soothing his fears. He excused himself not caring about worried glances his coworkers sent him and rushed towards you on slightly wobbling legs, passing self-important gentlemen and overdressed ladies. Concentrated on getting to you as fast as possible he didn't plan on what to say so once your eyes crossed he just froze in place. At first your eyes widened in pure shock but right away hatred took over. Aventurine inhaled sharply when your brows furrowed and jaw clenched. He wasn't used to irritated glances from you, you were always so gentle with him. His mouth got dry. 

- Long time no see, dear. - your voice was more collected than you expected it to be. Sometimes you imagined meeting him again but even in your dreams you were never this calm and over him. So time truly does heal wounds. - I have no idea why do you think you can just approach me out of nowhere after what you did to me, but I won't let you waste any more of my time after you stole years of my life with your empty promises. So please, hurry up.  

- So cold, huh? - Aventurine awkwardly attempted to laugh his anxiety off. - I know I must come off as a complete jerk but please, listen to me. Back then... I... I don't know how to explain that. 

- Maybe for once just say the truth if you even know how to be sincere. - you scoffed. - Simply say it like it is.  

- I was one bad day away from losing my job and I needed to make sure you won't get hurt in the process.  

You raised one of your eyebrows.  

- So you can only love me when you are on the top of the world but as soon as problems emerge I am a burden to discard? - you rolled your eyes.  

- Don't say that... It's not like that. - he hid his left hand behind his back, toying with one of the poker chips he always carried around. - If they kicked me out all kinds of sick people who prayed for my downfall would go after me. None of them would miss the opportunity to hurt me even more by harming you.  

- If that's what you say... - you seemed unbothered.  

- What do you mean by that? - Avgin curved his lips in confusion. 

- How can I be sure you aren't lying? That wouldn't be the first time it seems. - you chuckled sadly.  

- Please don't use that against me, I had no choice... - before he had a chance to explain further you interrupted. 

- Why should I believe you? Not to mention at this point it wouldn't change anything. - you looked away. - Not after all this time. 

- How could I let you know it was a bluff if you cut me off completely? I couldn't find you anywhere, I tried for weeks. You moved out and blocked me. - Sigonian's voice broke when he choked on repressed emotions, wondering if you even listened to him, your expression not showing any sign of interest. 

- I don't care anymore. If you really wanted to you would find a way. - you shrugged. 

Before he could mention how he overused his political influence and still could not find a single trace of you black haired male approached you both with glass of wine. Aventurine sized him up, tall and well build man had a reserved and cool aura, Avgin could feel hidden power radiate from that guy, as if he had a beast under his skin. Something about the way dark-haired male looked at you made his stomach turn. 

- I brought the drink you wanted. Are you ok? Who's that man? - mysterious guy asked you, concerned by your uncomfortable body language. He had a deep, melodic voice but spoke in monotone way. 

- I should ask the same thing. - Aventurine did his best to sound intimidating. - You guys know each other? - he turned his gaze back to you. 

- Yes, it's my coworker, Dan Heng. We grew really close lately. - you smiled at that strange, tall man. Sigonian stopped himself from asking just how close the two of you were. - Thank you for a chance to catch up Aventurine, but you see, I'm very busy right now. I promised to introduce my... friend to a few people. 

You gave him venomous smile when Dan Heng put his arm around your waist protectively and pulled you away from your ex. Aventurine hated the way you let that guy touch you. Did you allow him even more in private? Did you let him do things Avgin used to do? Does that other man know how beautiful you look with messy hair and no make up, with flushed cheeks and tears of pleasure in your eyes? Do you sing for him the way you did for Aventurine every night? Does he wear your marks on his back? Gambler preferred not to know, but whether Dan Heng already took his place by your side or was yet working on it, he was sure of one thing.  

- It's not over yet. - Aventurine muttered, clenching his left fist till he heard a poker chip breaking in half.